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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

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the many sins of tokyo ghoul :re

or: 13 reasons why :re is fucking terrible not clickbait

Disclaimer: I think no matter how long this post gets I’m missing something, so let’s just outline the worst ones. And I mean to be transparent, the only reason I actually read :re was so I could make this post... (and bc i wanted to see the what, five panels of hide) Well, I couldn’t stand hating it without evidence beyond hearsay and General Vibes. But I knew it was gonna be bad, I knew it was going to ruin me jesus christ. Obviously I’m not hating on people that like it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with genuinely enjoying it (I do genuinely enjoy parts of it, and by parts i mean chapters 1-50 with exceptions and 75) I think it’s wonderful if you can derive joy from it (lmao) but I can say that through my lens in life, there’s so much fucking wrong with this goddamn fucking piece of shit manga and I feel the need to yell about it because i am ✨autism✨ so let’s get going (this is r e a l l y long just a warning)

tl;dr Ishida stay in your fucking lane

1. Transphobia and Homophobia:

alright here we are first off with the big one and if I had to choose, one of Ishida’s greatest sins here. It’s quite unusual in mangas like these to have any sort of representation for such things in and of itself, and yeah of course that annoys me, but having no represntation at all is like so much better than getting actively harmful representation. Most manga that aren’t specifically about those things shy away from those topics, and it’s tiring but it’s normal. You wouldn’t want a mangaka to try to write about something like that without experience or informed opinions. So I say if you can’t write something correct, just don’t write something like that in at all. Ishida clearly,,, does not get this.

And it’s not just the case of Mutsuki, who, well, gets it bad enough, there are three full fucking trans characters Ishida made like, just to shit on.

Big Madame- god, made like that specifically to perpetuate the predatory trans woman trope jesus christ is Ishida friends with JK fuckface Rowling. Ah yes the ugly, human trafficking, predatory, pedophilic killer that tried to make their male child more feminine? Has a dick. Really? Could you be a single bit more transparent about your fucking agenda here? I really don’t have to say much here.

Kanae von Fuckwald- Technically Ishida says here that basically this bitch was just like??? Pretending to be a guy for years just to what?? I don’t even know?? Get together with Tsukiyama? Cause he’s fucking gay or something? I don’t even get it but like i read this post yesterday and that’s a whole ass thermian argument. It’s like “oh well this is fine because well this person’s not actually trans and therefore the representation thing doesn’t apply”... it’s useless. You created the character that way and you made it intentionally to for whatever way promote this idea that people would “pretend” to be a different gender and that eventually they’ll realize that it’s a “lie” and they never really wanted it. This is what you’re saying about the real people who are,,, actually trans? Jesus christ. Also thinking that a twink like that would be trans? God yeah trans guys can be feminine but buddy that’s clearly not what you’re going for here.

And of course, Mutsuki- There’s just... so much wrong here. I mean like. Before we even get into anything about his character and what they did to him let me just discuss his entire design. Buddy like if you had to choose one person in that show to be trans that’s the least likely one. Ah yes, the feminine one. With the androgynous haircut and the shy disposition and the physical weakness compared to the others. God that’s like, a fujoshi’s take on ao3 of what character should be trans. As much as yeah of course, trans guys can be feminine, they are in no way obligated to be such and you shouldn’t make them more so to be more “believably” so. Ask any actual trans person ever. A character like that is just perpetuating the notion of trans guys being inherently more feminine or trying to pretend to be otherwise.ThEn, of course, there’s the ridiculous sexualization, infantilization and fetishization of this character, going through a thousand plot hurdles to make him constantly stripped, put in girls clothing, chased by perverts, assaulted, ET FUCKING CETERA. Give him a fUCKING BREAK. Creating this character the way he’s portrayed in canon (including so called backstory of murdering parents because of sexual and physical abuse) is perpetuating a notion that someone would be a trans guy because of internalized misogyny and/or trauma instead of because they’re just... a guy. It’s just it’s just it’s just Really bad. Plus taking his character, demonizing him and making him like, supposedly love haise (which i Really hate for a thousand reasons, god that’s like, a parent and child type relationship they have there not romantic,,, god,,,) try to like fucking murder touka and stop seeing sense, and then just... return him to being infantalized. God. Jesus christ fucking goddamn it I love Mutsuki and he deserves better.

Oh yeah and then the homophobia, this one’s smaller because... most of the trans people are here to go “it’s gay... wait it’s not Really gay so it’s ok” but I would like to leave a small note here for all the gay characters who got thrown under the bus not just in re but in the original, like, you know, Nico and shit? I really do not know shit about Nico but all the things about Jason? God if I had a thing for one person that you shouldn’t try to portray as representation it’s Jason. IDK what’s up with him and Naki but god it wasn’t healthy. (i’d like to say here that i love naki and i think naki deserves the world but honey there are better heroes than yamori) Anyway yeah I think that’s also bullshit and Ishida should stay in his fucking lane. (or her i guess, i just feel like it’s probably a guy bc of just... so much sexism)

Ok, now that we have the big one out of the way-

2. The mishandling of portrayals of various mental illnesses:

I’m not an expert on this one like I can say about the gays TM but just like in general, the whole manga’s very messy and portrays a lot of gritty stuff, and Ishida clearly attempts to throw in some mental illness for fun, but god fUcking damn it they’re bad. I couldn’t really even give you examples bc it’s pretty widespread and i’m stupid, but it was really like trump throwing paper towels “and you get a demonization, and you get an infantalization, and you get a butchered character, and you get a fetishization-”

3. Ishida having no fucking clue how science works

This particular factoid led me to have a very hard time reading this manga because it went from being about like, yknow, torture and fights and crying and stuff to weird experimentation bullshit and mutated whatever and everyone’s a hybrid now I guess. When I heard this thing about the quinxes, I thought that made no sense, because I was like “yeah but wait,,, how tf does that work didn’t Ishida say earlier that kagune literally were fueled by human meat isn’t that like the entire point the ccg is against?” and then Ishida’s explanation of how they’re not just exactly like Kaneki is that “oh yeah well there’s like, metal around it, so it’s different.” OH YEAH OK THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW, THANKS.

The thing is... there’s no way of actually regulating that. You couldn’t move a kagune unless it was attached to your cells, and if it’s attached man, it’s attached and it’s part of you. Also yelling “frame two” won’t like make it any bigger lmao, either you’re gonna have it based on theoretical science in this universe or you’re going to have a dumb supernatural magic pokemon fight deal. The whole thing makes no sense. The science issue isn’t just about this either, it’s also about how the entire thing basically undermines the point of the whole story. When you blur the lines between human and ghoul with little to no real rules or basis in real science, every rule kind of just becomes cheap plot convenience.

So the Quinxes can eat human food unless they use their kagune too much, alright, but Kaneki couldn’t eat human food before he’d even ever used his though the only difference between their bodies was this,,, theoretical metal thing?? And Haise... was never really covered, before he went black hair emo bastard and like vored Eto, did he eat human food like the rest of the CCG? He certainly cooked it. And the squad that lived with him wasn’t aware he was a ghoul until he pulled out the kagune. So I’d assume so, but then how could he have a kagune, how could he survive when his body still was like that?

Is it the RC suppressents? Then couldn’t he just have taken those and lived as a human the entire time? Is that all he fucking needed, is that the only difference between human and ghoul? It doesn’t make sense and the rules are bent so much they don’t function anymore. Ishida like write down your rules somewhere even if they’re bullshit, they shouldn’t contradict each other.

Damn man I’m not even going to go into the dumbass rules of the half humans or the special fast aging thing or the fucking,,, folded up cells deal,,, or the Imagination Kagune, or the fucking,,, Dragon, or the zombie ghoul apocalypse or the “whole new species made of just kagune” i don’t even have the time it is fucking ridiculous and I can’t even with it. Physics. Laws of physics. If not biology, at least follow physics Ishida??? Please???? And if you’re not you need to do that consistently??

4. character glow ups actually being character glow downs

(with the exception of nishiki, he baby now, and akira, i think her development was valid af)

God, this one gets me every time. Touka was cool. Touka was fucking badass, she had a complex character with many motivations and wants, and in the original having her eventually kind of soften bc of Kaneki is valid. But taking her and turning her into like literally nothing but Pretty Housewife Yearning For Husband At War? God, kill me. She’s a strong person. She can like Kaneki without the guy being her only character trait. Also uh, Touka and Kaneki being a couple was valid before this change, now I honestly can’t stomach it. Like they were the kind of “both bisexual” m/f couple that we stan. No longer I guess.

She’s the most egregious example, but I’d also like to point out Juuzou, not everything they changed about him is bad, honestly we fucking stan his knife legs, but he’s kind of like a rip off L now? You got rid of his ~unhinged~, we do not stan. I’m on the fence about him bc i think that kind of is a valid transition to adulthood and I guess he’s grown up, but again, why change his fucking hair color? What is the explanation for this?

Also Hinami. I mean, I don’t really care about her a lot in general, but it’s weird to see her as like an adult when Ayato emo boy looks like exactly the fucking same and they’re like,,, supposedly the same age.

There are definitely more I’m missing here. Honestly, Hide was valid. God him with his fucking burlap sack. With a fucking lenny face on it. I can’t with him. That’s so Hide. But there were some bad ones.

5. one hair color change was my limit, enough said

black white black and white black white more white god bitch get some variety

6. Showing me great new characters and then promptly ruining them

And you can tell this one’s about quinx squad, my favorite bastard children. God, I love them. They’re the only good things about Re other than Hide and Haise and like everything else, Ishida took them and went “what if i *guts*” god why. I love these kids with all my heart. Why. Why. Why did you do that to Mutsuki. Why as soon as Haise isn’t in the room they all get themselves tangled up with pedos. Why they gotta break up the squad. Why make all of them lose all the wholesomeness and lessons they learned from Haise. Why do you ruin them all with weird unreciprocated random crushes on each other when they’re like basically siblings. Why fuckinG KILL SHIRAZU HE IS THE APPOINTED CHIEF DUMBASS OF THE SQUAD WHY HIM. WHY. WITH SO LITTLE IMPACT. YOU COULD FUCKING MISS IT SO EASILY. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. AND KANEKI JUST FUCKING ABANDONS THEM BC HE HAS HIS MEMORIES AGAIN N O ? NO ACTUALLY NO.

7. the casual racism and sexism :)

i just :) can you stop having girls constantly bring themselves down for being female :) and making them be oversexualized, less full characters :) always in some way connected to a guy :) more weak and hurt more often :) my fucking god :) also yeah it’s way less prevalent but there were a few racist caricatures thrown in there for taste if you don’t know how to draw lips just don’t

8. Ishida being too much of a pissbaby for a real death scene

Basically: undermining the impact of “deaths�� fom the first series while also randomly and badly killing off new characters. Oh that character that died in the original in a really cinematic way that made you cry and think about the meaning of life and how beautifully tragic this story was? Oh lol they’re not Actually dead. (x10) Doing that with Hide (at least in the manga, not the anime, god root A really did it with him but we’re not talking about that) was valid, seeing as I love him your honor and in the manga one of the lessons that his character hinges on was like in chapter 75 to live on instead of giving up even if it hurts and all that... (this is obviously kind of the opposite from root A where his character was like more about sacrificing for kaneki since kaneki had already done so much, i think both are valid but we’re Talking About The Manga) he was done well. That was right (even though i think they should have done More of it) but there were so many characters this kind of thing was done to without the proper adjustment in the handling of the messages given here.

Like with Koma and Irimi, who,,, honestly should have stayed dead because their entire character arc kinda ended there and showed how they were sorry for their actions and this was how they were making it up. And then they just like... come back. And fight more. Really? This wasn’t the only instance either, same deal with Shinohara (though him coming back made me cry) it like, kind of undermines it if you’re going to have Juuzou derive his character development from that. Either Juuzou gets to keep his unhinged and his dad, or he loses his dad for real and he also grows up. God guys choose. What’s the message you’re playing here. (at least they kept Yoshimura dead, his death made me cry and I would have stabbed something if it wasn’t real, probably Ishida.) And even with Kaneki himself, god, if he can’t die from being stabbed straight through the fucking eye, what COULD kill him? It really diminishes the anxiety you feel about “omg is this person gonna die i want them to be ok” if they basically evade the laws of physics and their own previous character arcs 70 times. I’m definitely forgetting more of the same, Ishida can’t write a good death, he needed the anime writers to do it for him.

9. Kaneki. Just. Kaneki.

God they fucking butchered this man. I could go on about his character is weird and confusing in the manga from the beginning, but we’re focusing on mostly all his weird :re character development, the bad handling of Haise and his memories, and all his iterations.

Before I read :re, what I could glean from fanart and the occasional fic that wasn’t tagged properly was really confusing and kind of a mixed bag. I knew Haise was Kaneki but without his memories, now in the ccg trying to be a pacifist and going :DDDDD a lot yknow. And what I came up with in my own mind for that change was a deal of (this makes more sense with the anime canon tbh, the manga honestly doesn’t do any of this well) like Kaneki after The Shit Went Down With Hide (whichever canon you’d like to interpret that as) he basically realized that he really couldn’t be a ghoul, he didn’t want to be, he didn’t want to hurt people and he wanted to be happy and make other people happy instead of what he thought was right before (trying to fight to protect others on his own etc) because that mentality had gotten people he loved hurt, and well subconsciously I guess that kind of factored into his development into Haise and maybe caused his memory loss (along with the, yknow, shanked eye.) So when I started to read it that kind of checked out, this is what he’s trying so hard to be now. But then this whole bullshit of the whole other like, 37 different versions of kaneki complicated things.

Haise was scared that when he got his memories back he would cease to be, well, Haise, and he would just like revert back to what he was before everything. Which I can understand him being scared of and I think was a good point in the plot for him to worry about that, but I was like “oh honey don’t worry that’s not how it works” and was kind of vying for him to eventually get his memories back, come to terms with the fact that those were his memories, he did do those things, he was half a ghoul, and maybe come back to his original fight of wanting to bring the humans and ghouls together, still caring about his human people in the ccg and all. That development was real, and it wouldn’t just go away if he got his memories back, he learned a lot and grew a lot and he has a different outlook on life now. Right?

Fucking wrong I guess. Dude gets his memories back (very ambiguously, it was really hard to tell when that even happened tbh) and like. Turns into a flaming ass looking like ebony darkness dementia raven way. Haise gone. Fucking completely. No trace left. Doesn’t care about his kids anymore. When he’s done with that and goes white again he’s just Kaneki again and there’s really not enough left of things that like, really wouldn’t go away? He loses the flair? The dumbass? The :D? The Extra? WHY? Why would those things go away? Haise shouldn’t have been right that he would disappear when he got back his memories. That killed me. I love Kaneki and all but H a i s e. He is my b o y. H i m. With his e n e r g y s h o r t s. And his m o m. And his c o o k i n g. And his k i d s, I l o v e him. And Ishida doesn’t seem to realize that they’re... literally the same person. Haise isn’t just some stupid bastard occupying Kaneki’s body, he’s a valid part of Kaneki himself and to be honest, peak Kaneki. Should have stayed that way. Would have been great for Hide tbh. Not just having him pretty much revert to his old self, but basically respond equally to both names and balance the world between human and ghoul. I would have loved that. What happened for real? It doesn’t make sense and it breaks my heart.

Some people on the interwebz try to kind of even that whole deal out by trying to say he like, has DID, which although is obviously a valid thing, like, so does not apply to him. God I’m like so not an expert on this but I feel like it’s not that hard to tell. His 87 little Kanekis in his head aren’t separate personas, they’re metaphorical representations of his past morals, experiences, and ideologies that all conflict. Again Haise here is peak conflict because when he gets his memories back, he has all these different conflicting ideas that were all previously separate. They’re all him. Tortured Kaneki constantly yelling at him in Jason’s chamber is basically again, a metaphor for how he’s denying his ghoulhood and the trauma that he’s been dealt. It’s not that this dude still exists just the way he is ready to show up at any moment lmao. Ishida kind of dealt with that badly too because Haise really said

after his memories happened so I can see why people might, but it’s... not right, and it’s Ishida’s fault about that which is Incorrect

Also just blanket statement, black reaper Kaneki? Fuck him and all he stands for. 0% valid. I can excuse literally every other version of him. But wh y. God he leaves the room and Urie starts misusing his power and getting groomed by a pedo, Saiko is just, left behind and sad, Mutsuki gets captured by a perv and mentally destroyed again, Shirazu dies and the bitch is like like “lol it’s your fault” yeah helpful, die

10. P- the- the porn chapter-

Idk about you but that was so fucking unecessary??? Not even going off of how terribly awkward and weird it was to have it there when the opening was “i’m sad about my best friend who’s gonna get executed what do you do when you’re sad about your best friend” “i simply do not think of him or i might actually just curl up and die” “yo lmao same” “wanna fuck” Like ok um I’m biased bc i’m not straight but I like, really hated that. Even just flipping through the pages as fast as I could to get to the end of it like. God. It’s not a fucking hentai. I’m here for the plot. If you’re not gonna release the director’s cut of kaneki fucking voring hide, i don’t think i need to see 20 pages of straight fucking sex. And if you absolutely must have porn, kaneki is a fucking bottom. That man gets pegged do not try to prove otherwise. You started it out that way god I love how they’re like “oh god wait that looks kind of gay, the woman being dominant, better stop that right now” god Ishida not having a single iota of knowlege about his own characters aND THEN SHE GETS PREGNANT? NO. Excuse me. No. I just. I. Why. This isn’t. A fucking porno. This isn’t tentacle porn i swear oh my god kill me

11. Giving the wrong characters attention

Basically, redeeming characters that should have been redeemed and not going into/discussing characters that should have been redeemed/had more backstory. For example, Tsukiyama can go fucking die. I like, do not even care rich boy. I don’t understand how anyone could think he needed to be redeemed he’s just a gay attention whore who really needs to let this kid get on with his merry fucking life. I don’t care. I literally did not need to read three whole books about his dumbass hangup over eating Kaneki. Kaneki doesn’t fucking want you bitch move on. He didn’t need to be redeemed or seen to be in any way sympathetic, no one wanted it. Same with that bitch ass Furuta, he wasn’t really redeemed but he was given w a y too much time to play out his sob story. God man Rize doesn’t fucking want you. These gross ass simps. I swear.

On the other hand, I kind of liked Eto even though she’s a pile of shit, and I got mad when they didn’t really go into much about her. And you know who could have gotten much more screen time/development? TOUKA. God, I love her and she was just sitting around in the background being straight. Let her have some spicy development. Also obviously, Hide. He was... so underappreciated and underexplained? What happened with him? He didn’t just pick himself off the ground in the sewers and go ‘well i’d better get back to the ccg now’ we have a whole two years which are completely unexplained, most of which he was off mysteriously being involved in things but completely missing the eye of Haise and other major players. Where tf was he? How did he get around? What was he even doing??? I wanna know about that! Not all the characters I hate’s tragic backstories that make me feel 0% more sympathetic towards them :)

12. ARE WE ALL JUST GONNA COLLECTIVELY IGNORE THE WHOLE VORE THING???

Ok like i know i say “the entire reason I read :re was __” but like to be honest this was the turning point, I saw pictures of hide’s vore face and went like

So I was like “god fucking damn it ok, Ishida would you care to explain this to me” *cracks open re*

And then they DIDN’T.

Like. It’s actually laughable how much that entire situation was just glossed over. They gave that maybe like two pages. Like what. I. This manga has more sex scene than no homoing that. They just don’t even bother to. I feel like Ishida had that as a plot point but realized halfway in how it looked (i.e., really fucking gay) and decided that was something that he was just gonna, not deal with. Just act like that’s a completely normal heterosexual bro thing to do. Like of course anywhere would be pretty gay but Kaneki chose his face. His face. Like his face and his wholeass neck and his shoulders and nowhere else. (and assumedly like, his tongue, seeing as how the dude can’t talk... bruh) Dude really said extreme hickey. French kiss to the max. Ishida clearly did realize that generally, you can only get a bitten off face by,,, having your face bitten off, which is just inherently really fucking gay. Like, I’m just at a loss as to how it even makes sense. You wouldn’t think that the skin off his face, and specifically around his mouth, would really be the most nutritious thing to consume? I can get like the shoulders but generally you’d think something like his arm or leg would be 1.less inconvenient, and 2.much more logical and nutritious? But NO, Kaneki was like “you know what i’m gonna do? eat your Face” and hide’s like “lmao sounds cool”

(not to mention, wasn’t there another guy with a vore face somewhere? like that old guy in the ccg with the bigass turtleneck, i wanna know about him) But like... my bro Ishida went “yeah this happened but i’m going to cover it up with speech bubbles and the ends of panels guys they clearly had their socks on” Dude didn’t even TRY to explain otherwise. Like hey man, that’s pretty damn gay, you are kind of at liberty to either tell me why otherwise, or accept those implications and acknowledge them?? It’s really hilarious when you ignore it cause it’s like

kind of

pretty damn

WEAK of you to leave it at that fucking pissbaby

hmmmmmmmmm however could this happen i guess we’ll never know

13. What the fuck was even the plot omg

God I’ve been writing this post for like five hours so like, I’ll keep it short but like it made sense in the original, not to be like an anime fan but the anime made fucking sense (not re i mean like the original) this lore is so fucking stupid god, the horrors of the entire fucking dragon arc bleach my eyes, unresolved plotlines who???? (the whole ‘oh yeah also ur dying of old age’ thing etc, is kaneki like??? still doing that?? or was that randomly resolved with the whole spewing ovary bullshit i’m going to fucking kill myself) and to top it off, good job Ishida at a real fucking cheap ending.

You gave them. Fake human. Really? They just come up with artificial human at the end. Kind of undermines the entire fucking story my guy. Ah yes throw out our whole plot. That was the whole tragedy. You gotta eat human. The ghouls have to eat human and that’s tragic bc they have to kill people or whatever. Or i guess they fucking don’t well fucking ok. God you could have just had them negotiate a kind of peace where the ghouls can get dead humans and such, there are plenty of them and no one has to kill anyone then, there could be a rule system for it, it would be messy but eventually everyone would be ok with it, and I think that would work a lot better than “quick fix i made some hamburger helper human you can eat it fine” guys wtf. It’s like Ishida started plotting out the ending for re approximately 2 hours before his deadline. Anyway yes I hate re and I love yelling about it thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #essay post #god just fucking kill me #rowan's hyperfixation essays

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loopy777 · 3 years

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Non-Review: Free Comic Book Day 2021 - The Legend of Korra (Also Featuring Avatar: The Last Airbender)

With all the hype around 'Suki Alone,' it looks to me like most of the fandom missed that an additional Avatar comic with a story from each cartoon's era was just released for Free Comic Book Day. You can read them for yourself on either Dark Horse Digital or Comixology where it's mislabeled as being for ages 17+ (free accounts are required for both), but I'm sure one of the reasons you all love me is because of my willingness to jump in between you and these comics like the deadly bullets they can be. Well, I'm happy to die (metaphorically) for the sake of (a little anonymous internet) love, so I'm doing a full snarky review for each ten-page story. Also, I'm bored, and it's more fun to make fun of mediocre stuff than to praise stuff I like.

It's time for me to review "Free Comic Book Day 2021 - The Legend of Korra (Also Featuring Avatar: The Last Airbender)" or more specifically "The Legend of Korra: Clearing the Air" and "Avatar: The Last Airbender: Matcha Makers."

CLEARING THE AIR

The cover makes this look like a story about Jinora and Ikki having a sibling conflict. That's a lie. The Air Sisters arguing is merely the inciting incident for Tenzin telling a story of his youth. I should note that, as inconsequential as the Air Sisters stuff is, it's actually written very well because it posits Ikki as a victim of circumstance and Jinora as a bully who terrorizes her little sister with threats of getting thrown in jail by Metalbenders for an accident, cementing the characterization from the cartoon. This is not sarcasm. I really do think Jinora is presented by LoK as a Holier Than Thou little snot who just so happened to be naturally gifted with magic spirit-powers, but for some reason the rest of the fandom doesn't agree with me.

Anyway, Tenzin comes in to find the arguing (and Meelo just running amok for the fun of it and so far these characterizations are perfect), and rather than telling Jinora to shut her stupid face, he delivers a tale of his youth about conflict resolution.

So the meat of the story is how, when Tenzin was "a few years older" than Jinora, a pair of vandals got onto Air Temple Island and burned some graffiti into the spinning-panel things that Korra will destroy out of frustration during her Airbending training. Literally, the vandals are depicted as scorching the wood with enough smoke to be seen across a plaza. Tenzin goes after the vandals and they flee across the bay back to Republic City proper (one of the vandals is a Waterbender with a surf-plank). Tenzin pursues, catches them, and attacks them hard enough to smash some dockside crates. They are all then arrested by Metalbenders and dragged before Chief Toph. She's going to let Tenzin go (yay Toph!) and throw the vandals in jail (YAY TOPH!) and makes this face, and this entire comic is worth it:

However, Aang arrives and instead arranges to forgo the jail-time in favor of an Air Nomad Conflict Resolution Ceremony. This is nice and in-character, but I'm totally with Tenzin that these vandals should have been thrown in jail. They literally burned insulting graffiti into antiques from a genocided culture. But instead, Aang demonstrates conflict resolution by having Tenzin explain why he's hurt and what needs to be done to redress the wrong. And so the vandals help Tenzin scrub the graffiti off the panels with water and rags and mops- how, I don't know, since they were literally burned.

They also do a ceremony thing where they each take turns bending their element into a central space between them to 'clear the air' (GET IT GET IT HA HA IT'S ALMOST LIKE A PUN BUT NOT), so it's a good thing they were all Benders because this is kinda racist. This fixes all the problems and everyone is friends. Yay!

In the present, though, things are not so nice, because Tenzin's kids are still screaming at and provoking each other. Korra comes in with Asami at the end to ask what's going on, and Asami says nothing, so I still think everyone is characterized with perfect consistency with the cartoon.

I made this sound silly, but (aside from the spinny-panels getting cleaned with a little water and elbow-grease, which doesn't matter because Korra will eventually blow them all up anyway), I actually like this one. It has Tenzin demonstrate how much he's always had to work to be the Perfect Air Monk that everyone expects him to be, and Aang acknowledges how this is unfair but that Tenzin will never let him down no matter what. It also has Katara come in at the end (for just one line, boo!) to acknowledge that this was an especially easy little conflict for Tenzin to practice on and he'll eventually face worse. I found it a nice adult moment in a story that's otherwise clearly aimed at 8-year-olds.

The art is good. It's simpler than the LoK cartoon, with flat colors, but it captures the story and has enough liveliness for everyone's character to come across in their look and body-language. The brief action-sequence where Tenzin attacks the vandals is well done, moving quickly but showing the full flow of the fight and every move Tenzin makes.

MATCHA MAKERS

Apparently, "Matcha is finely ground powder of specially grown and processed green tea leaves, traditionally consumed in East Asia" according to Wikipedia. I had to look that up. I'm curious how many people understood the full reference in the title, especially since these comics are aimed at kids too young to be allowed on the internet.

This is a very simple story about Iroh in his tea-shop in Ba Sing Se. He has an assistant/waitress named Feng, a new character who wears glasses, ruining the hopes and dreams of all the fanfic-writers who were so sure he'd rescue Jin from the Lower Ring. A frequent patron of the tea shop is an elegant, older lady (very clearly Upper Ring material) named Li-Mei, who cannot go a single panel without giving Iroh a HEY BIG BOY look. She is very clearly smitten. Also, I feel the need to clarify that she knows his name is Iroh, so apparently Ba Sing Se is okay with the Dragon of the West serving tea to their wealthy. I don't say that as a criticism, I'm just noting it.

That night, Iroh meets up with his friends- the Pokemon-style spirits that we saw in Legend of Korra. (I don't know if they're the actual spirits from LoK, or just new spirits in the same style. This is because I would sooner grind matcha into my eyes than rewatch Book Spirits.) He serves them his special blend of tea and talks about how he's totally into Li-Mei but isn't going to pursue it because he's feeling old and doesn't want to take a risk. At this point, I could stop describing the plot because between the title and what I've said so far, I'm sure you could figure out every single plot beat that will follow.

The next day, the spirits trip Feng so that she drops Li-Mei's tea and Iroh needs to bring a replacement, and they've drawn hearts on top of the replacement tea with foam or sugar or milk or whatever. I don't know because I've never bought tea in a place that will even put the bag in the hot water for me. Iroh gets out of the situation without starting any love-affairs and runs into the back to tell the spirits to knock it off, dudes, they're totally embarrassing him! The spirits respond by giving him a flyer for a romantic restaurant. I don't know how they got it, so I can only assume that some Upper Ringer had their mail diverted.

Iroh refuses, so when Li-Mei orders more tea and he brings it to her, the spirits hover just out of her sight and threaten to smash the furniture. I am not making that up. They literally threaten to smash Iroh's furniture unless he asks the lady out. He submits to their tyrannical threats, Li-Mei happily accepts the date, he happily accepts her acceptance, and the story comes to a close. Iroh thanks his spirits friends for opening him up to new experience, but hopes that next time (so I guess Iroh is signing up for Tinder after this?) they won't threaten his shop.

At best, I can describe this story as 'harmless.' But it's been a long week and I just got a bunch more extra work at my day job that I really don't want to do, so I'm going to go ahead and call this story 'dumb.' It's rote, leans towards humor without actually being funny at all, and turns the spirits of the setting into Pokemon. And not even the cool dragon kind.

The art is strangely stiff. The coloring is soft and nice, but the drawings seems more 'assembled' than actually drawn. I swear there are even a few panels that reminded me of 'How I Became Yours' with janky poses, horrifying expressions, and just enough resemblance to the original cartoon to make me think a screenshot was partially traced and then ruined. (I'm not accusing the artist of tracing, BTW. I wouldn't even condemn the artist for tracing if they did. I'm just describing that HIBY feeling I got.) It was so stiff that rather than hear Iroh's dialogue in Mako's rich tones, I instead imagined Greg Baldwin doing a stiff Mako-impression with no naturalism to the delivery.

This story is definitely worthy of its "Also Featuring" billing. I'd rate it below Gene Yang's Mai and Suki FCBD short stories, but above everything else he wrote for Avatar.

So there you go. Overall, this is very middle-of-the-pack for Avatar FCBD stuff. It's very much of the nature of the 'Team Avatar Tales' stuff, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Iroh story was a leftover from that project. On Free Comic Book Day, you often get what you pay for.

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distortsverity · 3 years

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Important Headcanons to Consider

tagged by: @iruludavare ( thank you! this was a fun way to de-stress after two exams + a paper in two days ) tagging: @gogogobarry / @draconscious , @twinleaf-royalty , @raysofpokemuse , @gravitysever @rebornmenace

Can they use chopsticks? — Yes, and deftly so. Along with spoons, chopsticks have been Hikari’s main eating utensils ever since toddler age. She’d even go so far as to say they will always be essential to her life, considering how a major part of her diet is comprised of noodles and noodle dishes ( the most prominent types including bánh phở, bún, udon, and the ubiquitous ramen ).

She carries her very own pair of chopsticks, in fact, whenever she’s on the road. They’re primarily used for finger foods such as potato chips --- no need to dirty her hands if she can help it --- though occasionally, she’ll take the chopsticks out for something that isn’t typically eaten with them but can be. Salads and spaghetti, for example.

What would they impulse buy at the grocery store? — Hikari is proud to say that her impulse purchases are few and far between. Once she finishes compiling her shopping list ( which is always done before entering the store ), she tends to strictly adhere to it until someone asks her to add / remove an item. Whenever those purchases do occur, they are unfamiliar food items, usually introduced to Sinnoh, that she believes her team, friends, or family would be interested in trying.

What’s their coffee order? — A simple Vietnamese iced coffee, if the establishment offers it. If not, she’ll do with a mocha or latte. Hikari doesn’t regularly drink coffee though, as certain milkshakes and teas, especially boba, are more to her taste.

What order do they wash things in the shower? — Her average shower routine is the following : soak, shampoo, then rinse hair ; add conditioner, wait a little, rinse hair again ; soap up and wash everything else. Bam. Simple, in and out of the shower in about fifteen minutes . . . or more. Usually more, since she enjoys the warm water and shower thoughts are common occurrences.

What sort of apps would they have on their smartphone? — Besides what was pre-installed at the time she acquired it, her device ( some domestic brand ) has several news apps like Jubilife TV’s ; travel guides for other Regions ; field guides to identify non-Pokemon wildlife and celestial bodies ; a single group messaging chat that she hardly checks unless someone spam-@’s her ( Barry or Candice + Maylene may be the likeliest to pull that shit ) ; and finally, an app providing easy access to academic journals, particularly scientific publications. No games, she’s “ console-only ”.

That’s all there is to find on her phone as far as apps go, but she has more installed on her Poketch.

How do they act around children? — Perhaps it’s because she grew up with a little sister, one who is four years younger and who remains one of the few people she can still express affection to without hesitation. Or perhaps it’s because she, while serving as Sinnoh’s Champion, took Mira beneath her wing to help her prepare for the throne one day. Whatever the case may be, and even if she is loath to recognize it, Hikari’s developed a slight soft spot for children over time. It is not to the extent that her personality would turn a one-eighty in their presence --- no stupid grins, obnoxiously cheery voices or anything of the sort from her --- but whatever attempts they make to interact, she’ll do her best to welcome them ( or, should she be caught in an unpleasant mood that day, tolerate them at the very least ). Even “ dumb questions ” will be accepted.

Plus she’s always glad to be reminded of her status as an inspiration to Sinnoh’s future generations of Trainers. Gotta leave as best an impression on them as she can.

What would they watch on TV when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on? — Nothing, she’d likely watch nothing. She may switch to the news for a minute or two, but after that, if nothing important’s being broadcast? Why waste time surfing channels for something that will hold her interest when she can game, read, or mess around outdoors, instead? Worst-case scenario of boredom, she’s perfectly capable of Flying as far as she likes on a whim, then roaming about without a destination in mind.

#[ field notes :: hc. ]

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anhed-nia · 3 years

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BLOGTOBER 10/28/2020: HOCUS POCUS (sigh)

I knew that I would not like this movie. I didn't see it as a kid, because we didn't have cable, but it's hard for me to imagine that it would have struck me positively. It's not that I was so sophisticated, but I liked my children's entertainment with a dash of darkness, or at least something challenging--especially if it was supposed to be somehow horror-adjacent. For me, things had to be at least on the level of LABYRINTH, with its various ambivalent creatures and monster sexuality in the person of David Bowie, or LEGEND, with its various ambivalent creatures and actually-monstrous sexuality in the person of Tim Curry, or...whatever other children's fare there is, that expects a little extra substance from its child audience, that's a little sexy and a little scary, and basically, at least kind of cool. And I'm not being a snob; you can say these same things about a lot of classic Disney movies. But in spite of its dual status as both a Disney- and cult classic, HOCUS POCUS is not at all cool. Just because it's such a Halloween thing for people, I figured I would watch it for Blogtober this year, and I have to say...I still don't get it.

I do not often feel my age, as my continued presence on Tumblr attests. There are just a few things that starkly separate me from my near-peers. One of them is Pokemon; when someone who seems like they're more or less my contemporary starts speaking in a personal way about Pokemon, I know that they're on the exact other side of some invisible dividing line in time. Another sign is enthusiasm for a certain stripe of Nickelodeon production, that mainly seems to feature a lot of shrill screaming and strobing lights and baby talk, in shows I didn't grow up with so I'll never understand what's good about them. It appears to me that HOCUS POCUS is part of the trend here: folks slightly younger than me, who saw it every October on the Disney Channel, seem to really get whatever the appeal of this is.

It is somehow telling that nearly every screencap I could find from this movie is just of these three standing in a row and filling the screen. Like it’s basically the entire visual character of the movie.

What "this" is, is a movie about a kid from LA (Omri Katz) who moves to Salem, Mass, just in time to unwittingly light a ceremonial candle on a Halloween full moon (which we are about to have BTW!), which brings the evil Sanderson Sisters back from the dead. These villains (not victims, VILLAINS) of Salem's witch hunt era can't understand really basic shit like whether plastic tubes are "snakes" or whether asphalt is black water or various other things that should be pretty visually obvious even if you're from the 1600s, but the truth is that it doesn't really matter what they think or feel, because they're just here to shriek and mug and jiggle around and do unwelcome musical numbers. At this point, I really have to apologize; I usually harness myself to the task of thoughtfully describing whatever movie I've assigned myself, no matter what I expect from it, but this was just really difficult.

Ew.

I've read that this movie was originally conceived as more of a kid-friendly horror movie, but it eventually morphed into something more satisfying to the Mouse. Various themes emerge and evaporate, expressing nothing. The "cool" LA native is actually a virgin, which is why his lighting the candle resurrects the witches, but instead of this triggering a coming of age narrative, it just becomes a reason to awkwardly repeat the word "virgin" over and over. Nothing in particular is contributed to our understanding of this character, and I had to wonder if some christian parents' group threatened to picket Disney's witch movie unless it harped on a random virtue like virginity. That would actually follow, given that HOCUS POCUS is a movie that casually sides with witch hunters whose religious mania and misogyny caused the deaths of at least 25 people during the era in which the hilariously kooky Sanderson Sisters are meant to have terrorized the town. Meanwhile, in modern times, their goal is to "steal the lives" of children to create an immortality potion. I don't know why they have to keep saying "steal their lives". It makes no sense to me. I get that maybe they can't say that the Sandersons KILL children--I know this isn't WARLOCK. But it's not even THE WITCHES, in either the Roeg or Zemeckis version; you have little idea what they do to the children. You'd think they could say "steal their souls", or something else that we vaguely understand from watching a lot of movies, but no. HOCUS POCUS just asks a lot from me, in terms of my ability to find it interesting that witches are running around and they must be stopped.

The witches’ grimoire, the best part of the movie, doesn’t have nearly enough to do.

The witches, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bette Midler, really just run around screaming for most of the movie. I would agree that this must be stopped, and I only regret that it took like 96 minutes for this to happen. I don't even blame the ladies for this movie's lack of charisma; it's pretty clear that they're just doing what a movie this loud and tacky requires. And at my most open-minded, I can acknowledge that it's good for little kids to see female characters who are wacky and confident, and not at all sexy or romantic. But I don't find any of this at all fun, personally. I don't care about the LA virgin who is dressed as a "rap singer" for Halloween, even though he looks more like a white separatist in his fatigue green bomber jacket and dad jeans. I don't care about the talking cat, voiced by Disney standby Jason Marsden who is not really up to the task of doing a british accent. I don't care about bland hot chick Vinessa Shaw, or the cool kid's spunky kid sister, even if she is played by Thora Birch. Doug Jones makes an appearance as a friendly zombie, which could have been fun, but...I shouldn't be surprised that it isn't.

Actually, the only thing I found at all provocative about HOCUS POCUS was the bullies. At first, I did not understand that they were supposed to be bullies. Wannabe rapper "Ice" and his buddy Jay, who by all appearances should be looking around for a church to burn, are unlikely friends and even unlikelier neighborhood threats. When I first saw them, I thought maybe they were going to be the hero's new pals--misfits like himself who have nothing in common but their misfit-ness. But then they shake the kid down for money, and ruin Halloween for little trick-or-treaters, and it's like...oh, these are "bad guys"? Why? Who would ever put up with them? I was alive in a small town during the time that this movie is supposed to take place, and I was very aware of scary teenagers then. The guys in this movie would never have been taken seriously, regardless of physical ability, and worse than that, they do not serve any purpose in this purposeless narrative. Anyway, it's pretty obvious that I don't have much to say about HOCUS POCUS, and watching it was basically a mistake. However, I do have one nutritious morsel to leave you with, courtesy iMDB's trivia page. You can all take heart in the fact that even a really dumb, useless movie can sometimes reveal something about life that you never imagined:

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sazorak · 3 years

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Every Game I Played in 2020, Ranked

2020. Boy, what a garbo year huh? Didn't actually play that many games this year all-in-all. Happens! My backlog is getting pretty big, but I just find it hard to focus on games when I could be working on something. Or put off working on something, as it may happen to be at times.

My arbitrary decision from years ago to only attach a numbered ranking to same-year releases is getting increasingly silly, especially given my propensity to wait on playing games until I’m in the right mood, but whatever. That order matters than the dumb numerical numbering anyway.

2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

Later Alligator – 2019 – Steam – ★★

The style of this game is very cute, and the jokes are funny enough. But… ok, look, I’m not one to be precious about what is or isn’t a game. But this really isn’t a game. It’s a series of disconnected, unrelated challenges clipped from Atari Free Mini Game Collection 100, wrapped in a very non-interactive adventure-game. It’s cute, it’s kind of sweet, but it’s dull. Dull dull dull. There’s a pointless, mandatory sliding block puzzle early on that infuriated me by its mere existence. Them giving the ability to skip it because “wow you’re bad at this huh”, which, while accurate, also just sold the whole point meaningless of the “““interactive experience”””.

Also: when a huge part of your game is WOW WE ANIMATED EVERYONE REALLY GOOD, text boxes that reveal word-by-word, far away from the animations that occur when said characters talk? Kind of stinks!

8. Carrion – 2020 – Steam – ★★

What Carrion does well— the whole “You’re controlling The Thing and just rippin’ people apart!” shtick— is really neat. They made that bootleg The Thing animate real-ass good.

The actual game as a whole though? Kind of garbage. Imagine a Metroidvania with zero actual exploration, where every opportunity you have to venture off the path instead results in immediate railroading with constant, utterly inexplicable one-way pipes. It’s not that it’s linear, it’s that it actively slaps you when you attempt to explore. It’s very frustrating! Add the fact that the tentacle-monster-shtick makes challenging to actually, y’know, move around and control all your bits… the only reason I finished the game was due to foreknowledge of its extreme brevity.

I think if the game were more open and less obsessed with constantly handing out upgrades, as well as having less of a focus on pure combat, I think I’d have enjoyed it more.

SD Gundam G Generation Cross Rays – 2019 – Steam – ★★

It is well documented at this point that I am both an active Gundam fan, and as well as an on-again-off-again tactical RPG aficionado. A SD Gundam game appearing on Steam with a good English translation and localization is… exciting, to say the least. That said, I have never had much context for this game series beyond the basic facts that the combat tended to be pretty well animated CG, and that it’s vaguely similar to Super Robot Wars. Turns out… it’s really different from SRW? I dunno how the rest of the series fairs, but Cross Rays is weird as hell.

For one, there’s zero tutorialization at all. None. Almost all of what I’m going to explain here is me figuring stuff out by trial and error, or by reading junk online. Gundam is insanely popular, you’d think they’d be interested in explaining how it all works, but… nope. Even Super Robot Wars has multi-level introductory bits for new folks to show them the rope these days.

So: Cross Rays is a tactical RPG where you can playthrough the storyline of various Gundam AUs. You can play through them in any order. These playthroughs are fairly literal translations of the stories. You take control of the lead mecha from those series, fight enemy mobile suits that show up in SRW-like tactical RPG combat, until all reinforcements cease. Pretty straight forward. There are occasionally mission variants like “prevent enemies from reaching X” or “prevent enemies from destroying Y”, but even those can be just reduced to “kill everything very quickly please.”

But here’s the thing: while there is a story progression, the characters in the story itself actually have no character progression. These characters and mecha are actually considered guests, despite it being ostensibly their story. Instead, you are able to field “permanent” mecha and pilots of your own choosing, which do have progressions. There is no plot justification for this or anything like it. The game does not recognize that it’s weird that during Iron-Blooded Orphans intro where nobody knows what a Gundam even is, you can have 25 Gundams show up at once and just fire lasers at everything. That’s because this game is actually about repeatedly grinding the same set of missions over and over.

Pilots are recruited by completing certain in-mission requirements. Mecha are acquired by either by getting enough kills with the progression-less “guest” mecha, combining mecha you already have gashopon-style, completing certain quests, or by leveling up mecha and then “evolving them”. This is the actual core of the game.

SD Gundam G Generation Cross Rays is basically Disgaea, it turns out? You’re grinding story missions at various difficulty levels in order to complete missions, try to recruit specific pilots, equip them with stats and levels to make them stronger, and then hitting mecha together in a sort of quasi-SMT fusion system until you get all the powerful mobile suits you desire.

The combat itself is kind of… bland? There’s a lot of systems, but they mostly seem in service of making an already easy game easier, or burning through tedium. There are four different difficulty modes, because there’s not actually that many different missions you can play through. The expectation is you’ll just work your way through every story beat while ramping the difficulty up over time to where the “guest” mecha would not be able to handle on their own. In fact, letting the story mecha act out the story beats is actually bad after a point, unless you’re still trying to get those lead mobile suits, or if you’re trying to complete some mission requirement in order to recruit Named Wing Grunt Pilot #246.

There is something to the notion of “I want to get N and N and N and N on a team, piloting weird but powerful mobile suits, and just solo every Gundam AU in a row,” but the whole premise seems kind of against purpose. Why bother recreating story beats at all, then? It’s not like the game even acknowledges any of that going on.

If the point is that I’m supposed to be, like in other grind-heavy tactical RPGs, breaking the systems to my own end in order to proceed… why not make the missions you play challenges focused towards that? The story progression literally only exists to facilitate the mission-based unlock conditions, which makes all the energy put into making them JUST LIKE THE ANIME really damn pointless.

I like tactical RPGs, I like breaking RPG systems so as to beat hard challenges (I beat all the insanely hard extra bosses in FFXII for crying out loud), I looooove Gundam. I should like this. But I don’t really have the “god, I NEED TO FILL THIS LIST” gene that some folks have… except as an excuse to continue to engage in gameplay I enjoy. The gameplay here seems in service of the collection, rather than the way around.

7. Pokemon Sword: The Isle of Armor – 2020 – ★★★

Pokemon’s first foray into actually doing DLC is… a mixed bag. As a positive, they’ve improved the Wild Area concept I liked from the main game, and even brought back buddy Pokemon walking behind you. That’s neat. On the other hand: the actual progression in it is completable in like an hour, it doesn’t scale with you, so you’re bound to be over leveled for it, and all the raid stuff, while still conceptually neat, is just as flawed as in the base game. And so, you’re just left with even more new Pokemon to RNG grind on to continue to catch-them-all. Nah, I’m good.

Astral Chain – 2019 – Switch – ★★★

Platinum knows how to make good character action games. They’ve made a bunch of them. Bayonetta, Nier: Automata, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. They also know how to make some kind of mediocre character action games. Transformers: Devastation, Wonderful 101, their various shovelware character action games like Korra. Astral Chain falls somewhere in the middle, I guess?

Astral Chain has all the production of their good games. It has some stylish, cool action. It has a neat core mechanical idea, in that it’s essentially a two-character action game where you control both characters at once. It has a lot of the old mechanics from some of their best games brought in; witch-time last second dodging from Bayonetta, Nier’s shooting-and-slashing combination, the Zandatsu mechanic from Metal Gear Rising, even Wonderful 101’s multi-unit shenanigans. The setting is different, and there’s some neat world flavor all in all.

But, of all games I’ve played over the past few years, Astral Chain made me more vividly angry than any other. It’s not that it’s too hard— far from it, really, I found its combat incredibly mashy. No, the problem is that it has so many shitty mechanics slathered on that it become a chore to get to the “good bits”.

Why would you put forced stealth sequences in your character action game, especially when your movement controls are not suited for it?

Why the HELL would you put platforming sections in your character action game, constantly, especially when your stupid ghost buddy can accidentally yank you off the edge, your auto-combos can just throw you off the edge, or literally anything can knock you off the edge and make you lose life?

Why would you put so many constant excuses into the world to force me use the digital sensor in the game, that also makes it miserable to walk around while using it?

WHO THE LIVING FUCK THINKS THESE SHITTY BOX BALANCING MINI-GAMES ARE FUN???

These games are supposed to encourage me to perfect everything, right? Why keep putting fucking fights you need to complete in order to get an S rank behind backtracking, or Legions I don’t have yet? That isn’t adding replayability, that’s just wasting my time. There are even in-level missions that have fail conditions that you never even know about. Surprise!!! A lot of them involve chasing after guys and catching them with your chain, which is really obnoxious to do!!!! SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The story is just Bad Evangelion, straight up. Every story beat from Evangelion is here, executed worse. They also make your character have a twin just so they can have a character who can talk and feel emotions, because your boring-ass protagonist is stuck being an emotionless audience cipher. Cool!!!

Tetris Effect – 2018 – Origin – ★★★

It’s drugs Tetris. I personally don’t use, or have synesthesia for that matter. I imagine this game is better if you do. It’s an enjoyable enough experience but it feels incredibly slight for what I was expecting from it, or even compared to something like Lumines, which has tons of replayability by way of its difficulty. Tetris just isn’t that hard, unless you’re forcing yourself to do weird shit to get points. I WILL NEVER LEARN HOW TO T-SPIN. Never.

Castlevania Anniversary Collection – 2019 – Steam – ★★★

Kind of an unremarkable Castlevania collection. Neat that it has an official translation of Kid Dracula in there, but also… look, I prefer Metroidvania Castlevanias, OK?

6. Spelunky 2 – 2020 – Steam – ★★★

I’m not entirely sure why this doesn’t click for me where Spelunky 1 did. More annoying intro levels? Too many fiddly requirements for different ending-progression? Gameplay additions that just make things more annoying? Spelunky 1 was hard, but there was a kind straight-forwardness to it, even with its weird secrets, that made it much easier to grok and continue banging your head against. I’m just not having as much fun with this. Difficulty should be challenging, not a hassle.

5. Stellaris: Federations – 2020 – Steam – ★★★

This is the year that Stellaris just broke for me.

Federations itself is a good DLC; it adds some really interesting mechanics tied to various types of multi-national unions (the titular federations, as well as the Space UN), as well as the addition of unique “origins” that allow you to further specialize your gameplay. The origins in particular are a great addition that allows more specialization and roleplay.

I’m just tired of the sheer amount of busywork Stellaris forces you to do. Every DLC adds more junk you need to keep an eye on, and the fact that the AI doesn’t even bother with it (compensating with copious economy boosts in order to keep up) makes the whole thing frustrating. It’s like playing fetch with yourself; you just get tired of chasing after your own ball after a point.

I have to wonder if they’re pivoting towards a notional Stellaris 2 at this point? Might not be a bad idea for them, though it is weird with all they talked up adding more origins when Federations came out.

4. GranBlue Fantasy Versus – 2020 – Steam – ★★★★

This is probably the fighting game I got most into over the past few years. There’s just this nice, almost Street Fighter-esque ease of execution to the controls, and that Arc Systems Works 3D-as-2D style continues to just do work. I don’t give a single shit about GranBlue Fantasy (frankly, I think I’d enjoy this game more if it wasn’t attached to a property) but the characters are fun enough to play and look at.

The big problem here is two things: no crossplay, and no rollback netcode. In the span of a month, this game became a total ghost town on PC, and it doesn’t sound like PS4 faired that much better.

Ring Fit Adventure – 2019 – Switch – ★★★★

I’ve fallen on-and-off this game all year. At its heart: it works, it’s a fun exercise game. I don’t think it really feels like a “game” (in the sense that I’m not really coming to it for riveting gameplay or anything) as much as just a guided exercise experience, but… that’s fine? The in-game story is kind of flat, but funny in the fact of it existing at all. Buff Nicol Bolas and all.

XCOM 2: War of the Chosen – 2017 – Steam – ★★★★

XCOM2: War of the Chosen is a great answer to what XCOM2 struggled with. As I discussed back in 2016 (Jesus Christ), XCOM2 tried to push against player’s worst instincts by incentivizing them to keep being aggressive through a whole bunch of timers— which, kind of just weren’t fun given how much accidentally walking into an ambush could “ruin” dozens of hours of play. War of the Chosen dials that back in some intelligent ways, by instead making the encounter designs themselves, as well as much more grab-and-bail mission types, encourage players to push ahead instead. Smart!

The addition of the Chosen makes the game feel more alive, and they really do make missions harder— particularly early on. But they’ve somehow accidentally fell into the hole, where XCOM just… isn’t that hard? Early on it’s challenging, particularly with the resource restrictions and all. But they keep giving you more and more options (that aren’t especially meaningful choices) that make your team more and more powerful, without increasing the strength of the enemy as time goes on. By the five-hour mark, you basically know if you’re going to steam roll the game or not.

The amount of additional character and variety in the gameplay is great, I just wish it had a more challenging difficulty curve. Maybe make the meta-layer of when enemies show up more targeted to where players are at. If a player is doing well, ramp up the difficulty, if they’re struggling, pull it back a bit. I should always feel like I’m just barely keeping ahead with XCOM, not like I’m bored. And by the end of War of the Chosen, I was kind of getting bored, really. Oh well.

3. Animal Crossing: New Horizons – 2020 – Switch – ★★★★

This is probably the video game that I spent the most time with hours-wise this year. I’m not entirely sure why? It’s a nice evolution of New Leaf, in that the crafting, environment shaping, and general quality-of-life improvements made are quite nice. There’s clearly been some thought on how people play these games, and ways to make the experience less frustrating.

… and yet, they kept so much tedium in the game. Like yes, the schedule stretching is the point, I get it. As someone who for some reason decided not to play with the clock, I only just recently finished the fish, fossils, and insects for the museum. But there’s just so many weird, little things that just make it hard to keep coming back to it. It’s like… to what end? When I’ve unlocked everything, and basically seen the entirety of the item list at this point, and the holiday events all being the game meaningless collectathons…. Why? I’m not going to try completing the collection; the museum stuff is about my limit, really (and even the paintings I can probably pass on).

I guess even an idealized, digital representation of a quasi-domestic life has the spiritual emptiness of consumerism-for-consumerism sake. Thanks???

Hypnospace Outlaw – 2019 – Steam – ★★★★

I grew up on the internet of the early 00s. I had an AngelFire website, mostly consisting of shitty sprite webcomics and hosted Gundam pics. I remember when Google wasn’t really a thing and you would heavily rely on website compilation sites like the Anime Web Turnpike in order to find anything of value online. It was weird, it was wild. It was exciting!

The internet seemed so different back then. There was a ton of garbage online, but also, like… there was a sense of optimism to it. Folks were shitty, there was plenty of bad stuff online, but it felt so disconnected from the fabric of the physicality of real-life that it was at the same time a perfect escape.

I was young when I first got “online”, something like 12. I remember having this notion that the internet was going to be this great equalizer, that it had infinite potential to change how people behave and interact. Boy, huh.

Hypnospace Outlaw is essentially a splendid alternate universe GeoCities recreation, where you’re a volunteer moderator of a grouping of websites on HypnOS, an internet-analog you access while you are sleep. At the surface level, it’s mostly about poking around the weird alternate-historical version of the internet they created, full of kids feuding, bizarre historical divergences, and plenty of amazing bespoke weirdness. All of this is great; there’s an incredible amount of content that’s just great to poke at, listen to, and explore.

Below the surface, there’s also a rolling plotline about the ethics of this industry-owned platform, those who run it, and the way corporations handle new technology, new platforms, and emerging digital societies. There’s a late game turn that’s pretty damn affecting. And as someone who has moderator his share of internet forums in his time, trying to balance ‘do it for the community’ and what your ostensible ‘bosses’ require of you, it was kind of a weird throwback in more ways than one.

Minecraft – 2011 – PC – ★★★★★

Turns out, Minecraft is really as good still who knew??? Started playing a bunch more of it this year due to Giant Bomb deciding to do so, and yeah: still good!

2. Hades – 2020 – Steam – ★★★★★

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again— Supergiant makes damn good games. I’d been holding off on checking out Hades until its full release due to my tendency to burn out on games easily, and I’m glad I waited. Hades is a fantastic rogue-lite experience. The way it makes narrative progression part of the reiterative, randomized rogue-lite structure is just perfect.

It’s got all the usual Supergiant bullet points. Great characters, voice acting, narration, and music. In terms of gameplay, it’s probably their least ambitious game— playing something like a cousin to their original game, Bastion— but it’s also been polished to a mirror sheen. It just feels really damn good to play, over and over and over.

That being said, the second (final?) ending feels kind of…. Tacked on? It’s fine as a goal to go for while continuing to do the game’s relationship mechanics for additional story bits, but it ends up feeling kind of unfulfilling compared to the payoff of the first one.

1. Crusader Kings III – 2020 – Steam – ★★★★★

I never could get into Crusader Kings II. Despite my interest, the sheer mechanical heft and unintuitive interface made the game a wall that I just couldn’t get over. I’m sure if I’d dedicated myself I probably could have learned it, but… ehhhhhh.

Crusader Kings III, on the other hand, has a good tutorial, a cleaned-up UI, and a very helpful highlight and tooltip system that make it much easier to understand how to actually play the game through resources inside the game itself. And, as it turns out: I rather love this game.

I mean, conceptually it’s an easy sell, isn’t it? Historical politics is something I enjoy broadly. I liked Stellaris but wish it had more narrative, roleplaying elements. They outright say that “winning” isn’t really the point of the game. Instead, it’s more about emergent storytelling and playing with the different systems and seeing what you can do with it.

My current game has had me taking the Haesteinn dynasty from its Viking origins into England, forming a London-seated Northern Sea Empire that encompasses all of Britannia, Iceland, Holland, Norway, and Denmark. I am currently working on hegemonizing Norse religious control over enough Asatru holy sites to finally reform the religion, such that more unified feudalization can occur. To that end, my current ruler’s predecessor invaded West Francia and conquered the whole of its territory, substantially reducing the foothold of Catholicism in mainland Europe… which seems to have kicked the hornet’s nest, given the Crusade I’m going to need to contend with next time I boot up the game.

Of course, a complicating matter is that my current ruler— the Emperor of the North Sea, King of Ireland and the Danelaw, liege of the King of Denmark, was elected from the extended Haesteinn family via Thing, the Scandinavian council of his erstwhile vassals. Where the previous emperor, the one who manufactured the invasion of Francia, was quite religious and beloved for his adherence to the old ways, I discovered as I took over as his successor that he really, really is into just boning down across Europe. We’re talking constantly attempting to seduce neighboring Queens and Princesses. His vassals are not thrilled with this. They also don’t care for his propensity for torturing people to death, constantly.

I had no real say in this; attempting to stay on top of a dynasty is kind of like riding a bucking-bronco, so many things are only tenuously under your control that some weird shit can happen. This is especially true when you use the systems that make it easier to maintain the coherency of your domain. The Norse religion encouraging concubinage results in you having a lot of kids, which means there’s a lot of domain partition going on (someday, primogeniture, someday). Naturally, using Thing election reduces that, but also makes you sometimes end up having to play Emperor Stabbo-Fucko because they thought he was the best candidate at the time. Hell, I thought he was the best candidate at the time until I discovered just how many people he’d be laying with on the low. But you just have to roll with it.

The way the game forces you to play ball with character traits is great. Doing things that match with the character’s traits makes them lose stress. Doing things against their character increases stress. Too much stress can force you to make the character take up vices (which can make them suffer health or opinion maluses, as well as altering their aptitudes), or even die outright. And sometimes those vices and attitudes can be boons, given they open up opportunities for different character interactions.

Emperor Stab-and-Fuck-Kingdom is perhaps the most relaxed person alive, it turns out, because his sadism makes him really enjoy sacrificing infidels, which makes the gods happy. It also freaks the fuck out of all of his vassals, so they’re a good supplicant mix of both appreciative of my religious sentiments and also utterly terrified of my skull piles. Some especially brave vassals occasionally try to assassinate me, but my lovers keep jumping in front of the knife and saving my life mid-coitus. Iiiiiit happens! :D

The game can be incredibly fun to just watch, as it becomes emergently weird. Georgia right now is incredibly Jewish in game. I’m not sure how that happened; I guess someone made a random Jewish guy into a vassal, who somehow moved up enough in the world to make it a movement? The Byzantine princes elected a Coptic as Emperor, which over the course of the decade resulted in very accelerated balkanization as Byzantium just lost its shit. The Middle East and notional HRE haven’t really unified in a meaningful way, so I’m curious how things are going to go if/when the Mongols unify and roll-on in.

It’s one of those “Just one more thing” games that can completely devour time. I have more than a few times checked the clock mid-game to see that it’s 4AM and that I’ve totally ruined my sleep schedule in the process of play. Oooooops.

I highly recommend checking it out if you’re curious; the introductory, pre-release video series Paradox put out showing off the game does a pretty good job of showing the core gameplay loop and also how weird it can get.

#GAME OF THE YEAR #GOTY #nonfiction #thinkpiece #2020 #Crusader Kings 3 #Hades #SD Gundam #Animal Crossing

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professor-vanad · 3 years

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Submission: @min-haven-pokemon-sanctuary

Yo, you online? Ive had another pokemon arrive at the sanctuary that doesn’t appear in my ID equipment and I wasn’t able to recognize, and I reeeeally don’t feel like doing a bunch of research right now to try an ID them myself (or potentially make more problems for myself with asking internet weirdo’s for help).

Now so far, most of the pokemon that don’t show up in my old pc identification stuff are from places further from the kanto/jhoto area like Galar or Alola (like cutiefly, dracovish, and cramorant didn’t show up on the screen when they arrived at the sanctuary) Thanks to this stuff being like, at least 15 years old second hand gear barely refurbished from places like pokemon centers. (Basically one of those government recycling kind of programs where instead of tossing out the old gear they instead donate it to smaller pokemon hospitals, parks, sanctuaries and the like for free)

And you probably recognize that old nerd joke about how “almost all modern pokemon technology are influenced by proximity to the house of some guy named Bill” So apparently the older the stuff is, the closer the focus is on kanto or whatever.

You probably get my point. Anyway I figured you’d be able to ID them, so I snapped a picture of them here below.

They like holding hands. (So hopefully not poisonous, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take for this much of a sweetiepie)

Now they’re blue and moist, so I figure they’re probably a water type. So main things Ive got to know is the average height of the species (the sanctuary is specifically for small for their kind pokemon, we can’t take regular or larger than average ones) and if they’re saltwater pokemon or not. (We’re too far inland for housing salt water pokemon comfortably, and I’d have to contact some of the seaside reserves for a transfer)

Unless they’re another shiny or something like that sent here by one of Gordon’s fans from his male modeling days to try and “impress him” or something dumb like that, and aren’t supposed to be blue normally (the message sent with them did imply they were trying to get Gordons attention… ugh, so I’m hoping this isn’t another situation like that shiny pachurisu from awhile back). In which case I’d need more of a rundown about what kind of pokemon they are.

____________________

Hey uhm, I’m curious: how do you lot keep aquiring rare pokémon like this? Like Old Dude was one thing but... well, hold on, alright I should explain first.

That is a Phione, also called the Sea Drifter pokémon. Phione are native to Sinnoh, which explains why your database didn’t have them logged. You guessed right, they are water-type and according to academic sources, they average at around 1′04″ in height and roughly 6.8lbs. They’re usually found in the sea, specifically in warm waters. It’s very common for them to migrate far from home, as they follow the summer weather. They are very sensitive to their enviornment too so they detect those subtle changes in the water very quickly and easily. Otherwise, they have a reputation for being very social and amicable pokémon, even towards humans.

So the reason I’m asking how you (or whoever gave them to you) came by them is because Phione are extremely rare in the wild. As in mythical-class levels of rare (though it’s currently under dispute.)

That’s not to say that it’s impossible, there have been a handful of breeing programs set up for them in Sinnoh, but they are under very specific conservation protections. The protections themselves mostly comprise of tracking their migration patterns and evolution rates but also it also includes a strict no-catch policy. This is a pretty big program too. Because Phione and it’s evolved form Manaphy, drift so far, they can turn up anywhere, even here in Galar. As such, all our coastal towns are aware of these specific Phione and Manaphy and their research facilities keep an eye on them.

It’s worth looking into where this little guy came from - the Sinnoh Marine Biology Institute might be looking for them. I’d consider reaching out to them. Also, and I don’t want to speculate too much here, but it’s possible that there may be some underground breeding of Phione going on here. They’ve attracted that kind of attention in the past and it’s important that you get made aware of any health issues. Given their sensitivity, the SMBI avoid taking Phione from people, unless it’s necessary, so I reckon they would be willing to determine how suitable the sanctuary would be for Phione.

That’s all I have on Phione at the moment. Feel free to follow-up when you know more. Getting to hear about such a rare pokémon is pretty exciting.

#phione #min haven pokemon sanctuary #ask the prof #submission

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momochrome · 4 years

Text

Drabble and Oneshot Requests!

I wanna polish my writing a bit.

Fandoms: Fire Emblem, Pokemon, Demon Slayer, Ikemen Vampire, My Hero Academia

Note:

I will use gender neutral pronouns unless requested otherwise.

I can refuse requests.

I'm going to use all the time I need to complete them.

Fluff

1. “Kissing you was the best thing I’ve ever done”

2. "Hold my Hand?"

3. "Your lips are so soft?"

4. "Do you want to dance?"

5. "I've been in love with you ever since we were kids."

6. "You are such a dork."

7. "You make me feel save."

8. "The thing I really want in my life is to spend it with you."

9. "I've never felt this way with anyone ever. I'm so excited and scared I don't know what to do."

10. "...I love you. I don't know if my words are enough but I do."

11. "There is no one I'd rather have children with."

12. "Whatever it is I'm here!"

13. "Life is shit but you make it tolerable."

14. "Cuddles. Now"

15. "S-Stop looking at me like that."

16. "Can I do your hair?"

17. "I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?"

18. "Come on stay in bed a bit longer."

19. "Your laugh is so loud and ugly. I wanna hear it forever."

20. "Come relax I will give you a massage."

21. "Please let me hold on your hand."

22. "Stop looking at me like that. It makes me want to kiss you even more."

23. "Don't tell me you're ticklish."

24. "What a sight to wake up to."

25. "My heart is pounding and I don't know why."

Angsty

1. "I'm scared you will see me the way I see myself."

2. "You're lying."

3. "It's better this way."

4. "You misunderstand. I'm here to say goodbye."

5. "This reunion isn't how either of us expected it to be.

6. "I don't love you I love the idea of you."

7. "Stop trying to look for excuses and confront yourself. It's your fault."

8. "I'm just as pathetic as you are."

9. "I needed space, not you abandoning me."

10. "I can't watch you hurting yourself any longer."

11. "Be spontaneous for once."

12. "You knew this would stress me beyond oblivion but you did it anyway."

13. "Thanks for nothing."

14. "I loved you."

15. "I don't want you to leave."

16. "Stop ignoring me."

17. "I can't live without you nor can you live without me. But we aren't good for each other."

18. "It's my fault."

19. "One last time."

20. "This marriage was arranged. I never wanted this in the first place."

21. "Let's see each other again... in the afterlife."

22. "Don't die on me!"

23. "I'm going to finish this or die trying."

24. "You gave up on us."

25. "I won't settle down with the life you want me to live."

Funny

1. "Let's be disasters together."

2. "Maybe I should do the cooking."

3. "Guess who broke their arm. Correct, I did."

4. "Your morals are so low I won't even try stopping you."

5. "Dumb problems require dumb solutions."

6. "Yes I'm an evil genius and yes I would throw it out of the window for a goldfish."

7. "You just left me in the rain and ran off with MY umbrella."

8. "There can't be enough of me."

9. "Over your dead body? Okay no let's sit down and talk about your issues."

10. "It's three in the morning and we are absolutely going to make cookies."

11. "Sleep is for healthy people! Which is exactly what I am so good night."

12. "For anyone to understand you, that someone as to be high."

13. "I think I killed them."

14. "I now a thousand ways to dispose of a body if you need help."

15. "I might have read a reader insert about you."

16. "There is a reason I'm covered in cookie dough."

17. "I hereby give you the task of being my heater."

18. "Can you stop being so moronic, it's so adorable."

19. "I swear if you call me cute one more time I will bust your kneecaps."

20. "Stop telling everyone we broke up we are married."

21. "Of course I can't read."

22. "You should stop talking. Destroys what tour pretty face makes out of you."

23. "What did you do this time?"

24. "So I may have raised ancient evil again but I swear it was an accident this time."

25. "Let me get this straight. Our bathroom is flooded because you wanted to have the 'real mermaid feel.'"

Smutty

1. "S-Stop it I can't hold back if you continue to tease me."

2. "Consent and love is my kink."

3. "Don't tell me you're a virgin?"

4. "Strip. Don't let me repeat myself."

5. "I really want us to have a kid after this."

6. "Are you trying to make me horny? Because you are."

7. "I'm horny, you're horny, let's fuck."

8. "Geez here? Thought you were a romantic."

9. "I want to devour you."

10. "Please let me touch you."

11. "I can't get enough of you."

12. "I'm not going to be gentle if you keep this up."

13. "And here I thought you were innocent but you are just a kinky pervert."

14. "There's nothing I love than some defiance."

15. "Don't mind me. Continue undressing."

16. "I want us to fuck like rabbits."

17. "Are you aroused? I barely touched you."

18. "I could do this forever."

19. "Don't tell me this is too much for you."

20. "You're such a tease."

21. "Anyone could walk in you know."

22. "You gotta keep quiet if you don't want anyone to hear us."

23. "Are you sure you've been good enough to recieve a reward?"

24. "I might just have to mark you all over to show who you belong to."

25. "If you keep making that face and beg so cutely I won't hold back any longer."

Please request as following:

[Genre], [Prompt Number], [Fandom], [Charakter]

Submit as Ask preferably.

Thanks in advance!

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sunsetnest · 4 years

Note

Ok so here's a dumb question... I, myself have never had a spirit companion and want to know what it's all about. How do u know when they're near? What all do you do with a spirit companion? I tried purchasing a few before from a website and in the end felt it was a scam and huge waste of my hard earned money. My hopes were crushed. What is your honest and personal experience with spirits?

It’s not a dumb question!! I’ll try to answer these as best I can!

“How do u know when they're near?”This is different for each person and each spirit! Most spirits can influence the physical world in small unintentional ways called manifestations. Manifestations are usually faint and dependent on the spirit’s own energy and how strong their energy is. Manifestations usually affect your senses. Examples (could include but are not limited to) could be the smell of bread or lavender, small dots in the corner of your vision, tasting citrus, the air around them is warm, the sound of claws on tile, or wind chimes. Those are most common, but manifestations can also be more abstract or unexplainable. Some examples could be (but are not limited to), an abundance of snails, lots of thunder when it rains, the feeling of being watched, bird making nests outside your window.Really strong spirits can even affect the physical world like how you see in movies. Nothing REALLY big, but pushing over a cup, or messing with your dice as you roll them.

Some spirits are too weak energy wise to give off manifestations. Manifestations aside there are otherwise to know if they’re near. Divination is always my go to suggestion for those who aren’t energy inclined. Grab a pendulum, a deck, an ouija board and ask questions. Make sure you have wards up to keep teasing spirits out, but just ask “Hey, spirit, ya here?”I really recommend pendulums because they’re easy to make, easy to do alone, and if there is no spirit, you won’t get a response. Unlike a deck that will always give you an answer just bc you’re drawing cards, and unlike ouija boards that require more energy and unless you’re skilled, it’s recommended to do with another person or two.

Another way to know when they’re near is to do energy work. Meditate, do whatever you do to get ready to sense energy, and then see what you find. If you are just starting with this, I recommend asking the spirit to leave for the first few sessions and getting used to the energy in your room. Then ask the spirit to join you in the room and see what feels different. This isn’t the best method if you are trying to make sure a spirit is real because unless you already know what to look for it can be hard to tell.

The most 100% assured way to tell that the spirit is real is also the most difficult. And that way is to astral travel/project and see for yourself! Of course, this can be a lot of work and practice before you reach that level, but when you do, it’s hella easy to check to see for yourself.

“What all do you do with a spirit companion?” What can you do with a physical friend?

I copied this bit from this other post I wrote. It’s about bonding rather than what you can do, but it gives from good ideas.

“Bonding with spirits can be just how you would bond with physical friends! Grab a divination device (like a pendulum) if you can’t easily communicate with spirit and just sit down and talk! Talk about your day, or about a book you’re reading, or anything! For pendulum users, ask questions like “Isn’t that crazy?” or “do you understand what seminar is?” to make it less one sided and also fill in some blanks for the spirit! One thing I always personally said was if the spirit had a question or something to add, just start swinging like crazy and I’ll try to guess what’s up!Bonding could also just be watching a movie together, or reading a book (aloud or with the spirit looking over your shoulder), or just going for a walk and enjoying silence and nature together (or not silence, up to you and your skill/availability).Bonding can literally be just chilling!Or! If you’re talented or have a talented friend, you could do things like going roller skating together! You (or a friend) can create custom rollerblades for the spirit (depending on species, this may or may not be the best idea) and just zoom around!Or paint together physically and astrally! Or go out for coffee and split it (maybe double as an offering too). Bonding could also be just working on witchcraft or spirit skills together.Another way to bond would be to astral travel. Go into the astral and build a home together! Or just explore! Meet others! Find really awesome places! Discover new games and try those! Visit thousands of different planes! This is starting to sound like an MMO advertisement! But seriously, just chill in the astral, or do whatever you do there!But, just as much as you share about yourself and your activities, ask your companion if they have anything they’d like to do! Do they have games from their childhood they’d like to play? Do they have any traditions they’d like to share? Don’t push if they don’t want to talk about it, but be sure that not everything you two do is based around you and not your friend as well!“

Yea it can feel a little silly if you try to do something like go ice skating with a spirit if your senses aren’t 100% up to it and you feel like you’re doing it alone. But have faith that your friend is there! and even on the off chance that they’re not, well ice skating is fun and you should enjoy yourself!

In the astral, it can be a little more wild! Assuming you are human in the astral, it could be fun to fly with a dragon companion, or go swimming with a merperson, or anything else like that!! The possibilities are endless! You just need a little creativity and to talk to the companion!

“What is your honest and personal experience with spirits?”I am so sorry that you got ripped off!! Keep in mind that you did ask a shop about our personal experiences though. Not that I’m trying to sell you anything, but I have good experiences with spirits. It’s why I opened a shop.

Not everything has been hunky dory, of course. Like...6 years ago or something I got eaten by harpies. I’ve suffered my fair share of malicious spirits and injuries (just because you might have wings in the astral doesn’t mean you instinctively know how to use them. Don’t just go jumping off of houses because trust me, you don’t know how to fly).

Still though, I have had enough good experiences to encourage me to keep going and open shop. I’ve adopted 8 spirits from a variety of shops that have all been legit and wonderful. The rest of my family are spirits that I’ve met along my way. I love meeting new spirits, both for my shop and just in passing.

Even when my senses aren’t up to par and I can’t do everything I want to for months on end, I still love the fact that I can still say I love you to my companions every day, even if I don’t know if they’re there to hear it. I love the small things, like when I try to use my astral body to cheat on a math test only for a 500 ton dragon to tackle me to the ground because she wants me to be honest and do my own work. I love when I’m dragged out by two kids to play in the snow and they purposely make me look like a fool to all of the by standards who don’t sense spirits as I throw snowballs at seemingly nothing. I love when I’m playing pokemon and my family and I sit with baited breath to see if a pokemon catches and when it doesn’t we all collectively fall on the floor in agony. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my spirits in vetting with all of my heart.

Spirit work hasn’t been an easy road by any means, but even when it fucking sucked, I loved the thought of where I might be in the future.

Though your path hasn’t been easy, you’ve been ripped off and hurt and have come to us for any confirmation, I hope that you can find happiness on your path again. I’m really sorry that you’ve gotten ripped off and your hopes crushed, but I hope that you can find a good shop and a good spirit that just rings your heart and you experience nothing but good times on your path again.

I truly, from the bottom of my heart, wish you (and everyone in a similar situation like yours) the best of luck!!!!If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!!

#o o fffff #I typed a l o t #sorry about that!!!#spirit work #spirit companionship #erikavice #asks

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artyrogue · 4 years

Text

Blind Date Gaming: Pac In Time

Tonight's date was an interesting one to say the least. It was with Pac-Man, the iconic game character from Namco that helped build video games as a mainstream activity! The only issue was that it wasn't...JUST Pac-Man. No, it was a pun and a spinoff all in one. It was... Pac In Time!

Soak in the colors, 'cos from here out we're mostly back to 4-color palettes.

I've seen some of the other Pac-Man spinoffs before and they just never felt right. There was some dumb point-and-click game on the SNES where Pac-Man clearly had a lobotomy, some pinball game, and that one where he was fighting a bunch of nerds on some floating platform called 'final destination' or whatever. So yeah, they're typically lame attempts to make a buck based on the identity of one of gaming's most well-known IPs. I didn't expect much, then, going in. It was a bit bias of me, sure, but I was still willing to give it a chance. The first thing I was presented with was a super-long, slow-scrolling wall of text with absolutely no music or sound throughout the whole thing. Brilliant first impression, that.

'Crazy events' here means 'binge eating countless unmarked medications within the confines of a series of neon-infused tubes with occasional spontaneous manifestations of fruit and/or keys'.

Okay, okay, sure. Some ghost witch sends Pac-Man back in time and now he has to travel through different zones to find a way back to the present. That could have been summed up much more succinctly; in fact, I basically relayed all the information you need to know right there. It also really doesn't matter at all in the long run, so my heart reaches out to the poor writer whose hopes were squandered when Pac in Time didn't end up being their gateway to better writing gigs. What matters isn't the story here, it's the gameplay! So what do we have?

It's a platformer. A pretty floaty one at that. You always slide all over, with momentum that takes a bunch of effort to dissipate. Jumping follows the Mario 64 school of gaining height in each successive jump, but it really doesn't seem necessary. It's quite bad and takes some getting used to. There's an additional aspect to the game that helps bring puzzle aspects to it: powerups. You're given a few in each level that give you different abilities and can sometime pick up (or lose!) them along the way as well. They don't really seem to fit into the typical Pac-Man lore, though. Unless there's some fanfic where Pac-Man can shoot fireballs and swing around like Spiderman?

Yes, that is a screenshot of Pac-Man shooting a Kamehameha at a shark. This is fine.

Some levels are pretty interesting, but a lot of them are short and kind of dull. Most of the time you don't even end up using half of the powerups they give you. I will say, though, that the grappling hook was well-programmed and a lot of fun to mess around with. Sometimes there are issues canceling grappling momentum when an enemy is right in front of you, but otherwise it's liberating to swing like a monkey through a level in mere seconds.

Wheeeeee!

Somewhere around world 3, though, things start to take a turn for the worse. For the most part, enemies are tame and take a major backseat to the puzzles and powerup adventuring. In the jungle world, you start to see some annoying and poorly-programmed enemies marring your fun. Some foes relentlessly track you down, some change their velocity in unpredictable ways, some blast into the center of the screen as soon as you approach, and more. It starts feeling more like I Wanna Be the Guy, a game I loathe not for its toughness, but for it's cheap death tricks and poor design. Games like that aren't about skill as much as they are about rote memorization. That's...not fun to me. Make the obstacles visible, not surprises. I'd rather spend time memorizing something useful. Although apparently my brain seems to define 'useful' as being able to list the first 386 pokemon and recalling room layouts for a mall that has been dead and destroyed for like 15 years?

I suddenly have flashbacks to Super Meat Boy, although that game was fair and up front with its obstacles. This buzzsaw popped outta nowhere, which I guess is standard in an ancient Egyptian tomb.

I had to look up a walkthrough on a certain level, too, where the only way to progress was apparently to walk off a cliff into a pool of lava. Then, an invisible air stream carries you across the lava to safety. Jumping the gap kills you and does not reveal an air stream, there are no indicators that walking off is a good idea, nothing. Just know the trick or be stuck. Great. The walkthrough on GameFAQs even says that the walkthrough's writer was stuck on this level until someone gave them a tip. That's...not exactly a good sign of game design. There were other annoyances, like teleporters teleporting stones higher than you: if you walk into one too quickly after pushing a stone into it, the stone appears above you and crushes you to death. Also, many levels host a plethora of arrow signs that don't make lick of sense.

Right, right...I get it now. It's all so clear where I have to go!

I got through world 4, and looking up a gameplay video reveals there are 4 more worlds to go, but I had my fill. This date isn't going anywhere I want to be. So yeah! No second date here. I've also found via the comments of that video that the game is actually a reskin of another game on DOS called 'Fury of the Furries'. They basically just turned the main character into Pac-Man and made some lame music tracks that sound like the one ditty from the arcade game. Even the enemies and final boss are the same. Boo! Get some originality or keep the Furries! I mean I know the internet in general has some hangups with them, but I've never had a bad experience with a Furry myself, let alone felt their Fury! Although if the world followed this game's lead, all furry conventions would turn into massive Pac-Man cosplay events, and I would definitely pay to go see that.

I found a furry! Except it kind of beat me to a pulp, but I guess I deserve it since I stole his game.

Before I end this, am I crazy or does part of the Beach world theme sound vaguely like some Mega Man track? Listen here and skip the first 50 horrid seconds to get to the part I mean. I swear, it sounds like something I've heard before, but I can't tell which track it was. Mega Man has too many Men to keep their themes straight. Maybe I should invest my useless memorization into Mega Man theme recall instead.

And so ends another date. I'll be looking around for something else, thank you! I will say, though, that today's Sprite of Passage is a keeper. Put this as a war decoration on your uniform and go speak of the fierce battles you went through to earn it! Don't be surprised if no one gives you any sympathy or anything though. They might instead give you the number of a psychiatrist. Maybe that shrink will give you pills and you can lay them out in a maze to eat them or something? Pac it all in!

They finally, really did it...YOU MANIACS!! YOU BLEW IT UP!! DAMN YOUUUU!!

#blinddategaming #gameboy #pacintime #pacman

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moonvoiid · 4 years

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i am writing on two hours of sleep in the past twenty-four hours so please excuse me and all of my mistakes, both grammatical and overall. i swear i’m usually in a playful, cryptid in a sexy way kinda mood... fhsduifhds SO. so ! ian moon. alright, i’m leaving important links down below !! the google docs document contains his biography in a slightly ( re: no big improvement ) better state than what i’m giving you under the read more, so if you’d like 2 give something ( SLIGHTLY ) more comprehensive a read i’d recommend it !!!

( jeon jungkook, cismale ) hey ! have you seen IAN MOON around ? HE works as a SKI INSTRUCTOR (KID) at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for THREE MONTHS. they tend to be +SPONTANEOUS & +CHARISMATIC, but can also be -MANIPULATIVE & -DESTRUCTIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE REVELLER. thanks a lot ! ( charcoal-stained fingertips, cat hair on dark hoodies, frowning lips around an e-cigarette , distressed pokemon cards & the gleam of a new mercedes benz under street lights. )

google doc + playlist + pinterest board

THE PAST, a brief summary:

ian was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. as soon as he could make demands, he got everything he wanted whenever he asked for it and then more. i wish i could sum up his childhood in those sentences alone, but the bitter reality of his early youth was that he was a lonely kid. his mother was a rather young trophy wife who married into his father’s family and became pregnant to tie herself into the family’s empire and his father was a ceo of a real estate company who only cared about making ian a suitable heir to the title. he was allowed too much freedom from the start– his dad only involved himself in ian’s life when it came to academics and his mom… well, his mom lazed around the house enough for ian to see her every few days or so.

he rebelled around his first years of university in seoul. he was studying business to follow the path that was set for him when all of the pressure that had been building up finally made him SNAP. ian ruined what little relationship he had left with his father and decided to leave home altogether after making a massive mess he couldn’t fix. with a subsequent agreement he made with his mom, he got to choose where to live, if to study right away, and what to do for the time being with a bank account full of funds. now THAT’S the ian living and working in big bear village you know !

ADDITIONAL HEADCANONS:

his job ! ian works as a ski instructor for kids. back when he was a child himself, he and his family would often go on vacations and that frequently included leaving korea to go play in mountains of snow. ian is really good at skiing because it was one of those skills that he worked his naive ass off to be wonderful at so his parents could have something to brag about. besides choosing it because he’s good at it, though, ian also enjoys really active atmospheres in general. he likes being kept busy and interacting with others and he likes being out in the cold like a mama duck since he ended up getting assigned to teach children how to skii. he quickly warmed up to the job and he has a ton of fun working with kids which is hard to believe considering how generally insufferable ian is in any other setting.

mimi ! a short one but definitely worth mentioning because if i don’t mention her, he will. mimi is ian’s ( and roman’s ) beloved cat, he would literally die for her. she began living with them in their chaotic apartment after ian rescued her tiny kitten self and took her home. she is extremely spoiled by him even though she herself is lowkey feral.

postive habits ! so ian is truly a man of habit. the pros are that some of his habits are really, really good... and the cons, of course, is the flipside that his negative habits are rather... very bad and annoying. but these are the good ones !! it seems like he doesn’t really notice it, but he makes an active effort to treat his friends because he doesn’t really know how to express affection unless it’s within an inappropriate joke or comment. he’s quite loose with his expensive belongings and will quietly pay for his friend’s drinks throughout the night. he works out a lot, he would be a gym rat if he wasn’t busy being a disaster. he makes up for all of the alcohol he drinks by eating really healthy ( unless he’s high or, again, drunk and needs oily unhealthy food or else he’ll die ) and keeping up with workout routines ! i don’t recommend having him as a gym buddy because he’ll show up at your doorstep at four am with protein shakes and a really shitty workout playlist. he is very into art !! his favorite medium is charcoal and he keeps his drawings / occasional paintings very greyscale. he can be seen sketching the mountains during his free time like a true buffering romantic, and his future plans include going to art school !! he’s real organized with his general space n etc ! a tidy boy.

negative habits ! alright, so ian has a lot of these. perhaps the biggest one is that he doesn’t accept criticism on his character even though he cares about how he’s perceived which is really very annoying for many people who know him. he’s... how u say... irritating. he never, ever takes anything seriously and he’s always making a dumb joke, so he has this persona of being a charming flirty pretty boy who sleeps around like a god taken straight out of greek mythology. in other words, he’s 100% a fuckboy. the reason this is a bad habit is that ian is actually really smart and reliable but he wears 50 coats of shallow asshole that cover that up. it’s his thing. he thinks it protects him or whatever. he can b... manipulative... he’s just really good at lying and will never hesitate to do it. he is BAD at relationships !! he treats them as things to pass the time or avoids them altogether in lieu of just getting the fun part of people and honestly... it’s lowkey evil... he’ll string people along and then blame them for getting attached ? of course he goes on to feel very empty !! because he does this stupid impulsive shit !! all the time !! but anyway ian smokes e-cigarettes and he’s always got a fancy one in his pocket that he WILL use during any free outdoor time that he has. he likes 2 party a lot and make bad choices while he’s drunk and then do that over and over and over again fhdisufh. that’s the reveler for u babey !!

misc headcanons ! ian is a huge weeb and loves video games. he plays all big three gaming consoles + PC and u BET he hosts super smash bros hangouts w/ snacks and weed and everything u need basically every weekend when there’s not already a party goin’ on. tbh in general ian rlly likes to start parties up like he’ll b the first to text ‘ aye where the party at ’ all the time and there’s no party invite he’ll say no to. / he’ll randomly start sketching u if ur sitting across from him n there’s a pen in his hand. / he wears absolutely no colors like this boy rlly only owns dark or pure white clothes. / he has only 1 tat: a palm-sized heart on the side of his right hip. ton of ear piercings tho !! / nnnn.... i’ll leave this lil section at that fr now !!

to sum it up, ian is a mix between a charming socialite boy and a messy fuckboy.

#bigbearintro #intro #👻 » OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? . ／ ᴏᴏᴄ

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