#two friends have graduated and one is moving

[propertyofwicked]

WAS IT REAL? - LN

lando is at risk of losing his job if he doesn't clean up his image, and his best friend needs a way of travelling the world. they come up with a flawless plan - which could not possibly go wrong, right?

based on this request! (i went a little overboard im sorry) ✧ my inbox is open! ✧

warnings - fluff, angst, small allusion to smut at the end - fake dating to lovers hehe. also, 5k words??? who am i?? (writen BEFORE the miami gp!! i needed a few days to recover lol)

the song inspo for this got removed from spotify but it is based on "was it real" by ben rodrigues <3

masterlist the playlist

✧ tell me was it real...

...or was it just pretend? ✧

“and now i’ve had zak sit me down and essentially said ‘we don’t hire slags’”

“he said that your recent behaviour was causing concern for mclarens image - not that you were a slag, lan.”

“same thing,” he argued, ”i’m 24 for gods sake, if i want to speak to women in a nightclub that shouldn’t be any of zak’s business.”

“i think it became his business when someone filmed you, in your mclaren, having what im sure was a lovely conversation with the girl sat on your lap,” she teased back, emphasising her words slightly. he huffed at, crossing his arms over his chest as he leant back into her sofa.

lando had walked into her flat 20 minutes prior, as he had hundreds of times before, threw himself down on her sofa and launched into a long rant about the meeting he had just come from.

since he was at the woking offices, zak had taken the opportunity to discuss the several occasions in recent weeks where lando had been caught in predicaments with multiple different women. when he finally left, zak’s ultimatum ran through his brain on a loop as he drove to one of his closest friends houses.

“clean your image up, or we’ll have to reconsider the possibility of you having a seat next year.”

“it sucks, lan, but i really don’t know how i can help you here,” y/n told him, moving a stack of research notes to the table before sitting cross legged next to him so that her body faced his.

y/n l/n was a newly graduated environmental researcher, who was taking a year out to decide what kind of work she wanted to pursue. she needed to travel, see the world, and experience all elements in her field before she could make that decision - but travelling was expensive and she could not afford to be in anymore debt after university.

“i have an idea,” lando announced, the realisation of what he was about to propose never really settling.

“that’s never good,” she joked.

“no, no hear me out -” he started, “i need to look like a man in a stable relationship, you need to see the world.”

“yeah? so?” she questioned, confused as to where he was going with this.

“look, it’s ok if you say no. i’m just saying - you could pretend to be my girlfriend and use the opportunity to travel the world and research your little bugs.”

“i don’t know, that seems a bit…deceitful?” y/n replied, yet the idea mulled in her brain more than she wished.

“just a few public appearances. you come with me to my races and use it as a research opportunity. maybe stay in monaco with me for a bit? let people film us being domestic and that?” lando replied, stuttering as he tried to think of more reasons - truly, he had started talking before he’d really thought it through.

“it’s tempting,” she replied slowly, “and for the last time lando, i do not study bugs, i study the environments they live in.”

“all expenses paid, travelling the world, looking at trees across the world,” he added teasingly, “- and all you have to do is hold my hand in public,” he finished, trying to summarise the arrangement.

“ok.”

“ok?”

“yeah, what’s the worst that can happen?”

✧ tell me all the places that you wanna see...

....i can take you all the places that you've never been ✧

the two of them fell easily into a natural act, almost gaining a sixth sense for cameras and fans and reaching for each other. it started small - a hand on her back, standing close to each other, being seen arriving and leaving together. but it hadn’t been enough, many pointing out that y/n had been at races and stayed with him in monaco multiple times, and concluding the two were still, just friends.

so they upped the ante. lando began holding her hand when they walked anywhere together, kissing her forehead lightly as they both pretended to be clueless to the snapping of cameras. at the last race, y/n had spotted a reporter and made a quick decision to tug at lando’s fireproof, pulling him down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“that’s new,” he had told her, laughing lightly, but keeping his hands firmly on her waist.

“camera,” she told him, smiling up at him as he nodded.

and lando kept up his end of the deal, the two of them using the week of the australian grand prix to visit the great barrier reef.

their plan was working - the two were elated that people were finally putting the pieces together and believing the two really were together. even zak began to notice the positive effect y/n had on not only his image, but lando’s entire life.

“say y/n,” zak started as he walked up to the woman, “you work in environmental protection, don’t you?”

“i guess you could say that,” she responded, too tired to correct him, and slightly startled that he’d approached her as she sat minding her own business in the garage before the race began.

“we’re doing some work with the barrier reef group and oscar in a few days - would you consider being a sort of environmental advisor? just tell oscar a few things that he could talk about for the project?” he asked her assertively, smiling as her eyes widened at the request.

“i’d love to! but im supposed to be flying back tomorrow. let me ask lando later and ill get back to you?” she replied.

“sure,” he replied, smiling at her again before returning to his job. she was filled with excitement, it wasn’t often that she got to talk about her degree, and being able to contribute to a project of this scale was an amazing opportunity.

and her excitement only continued throughout the race, a feeling she always got watching lando compete, but overwhelmed when he cross the line 3rd. y/n ran round to join the rest of the mclaren team at the pit lane, watching as the podium cars pulled in and the drivers hopping out to celebrate with their teams.

lando climbed out, removing his helmet quickly before turning, scanning the crowd for y/n, and half sprinting when he spotted her. later, he would celebrate with his team, but for now he ran to her, pulling her in closely as he pressed his lips hastily to hers, pulled in closer by her hands cupping his jaw. when they pulled away, he kept her close to his embrace.

“im so proud of you,” she told him, smiling as he bent down to kiss her again, before rushing off to join his team.

y/n tried so hard to push away the feeling rising in her stomach - she didn’t like him like that, it was just the excitement of watching her friend succeed. so she ignored it, the same way she pushed away the feeling she got every time he calls her angel, even when they were alone.

im only here so that he keeps his job she reminded herself.

lando was distracted - he got podium, he was excited, his team were celebrating. yet he couldn’t help but let his thoughts linger to that feeling that shot through his veins when he’d kissed her. the same feeling he got every night, when she wrapped an arm tightly around his chest as they fell asleep.

she’s only here for research opportunities he told himself.

“im so proud of you,” y/n told him later that day as they left the track. wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him in to a tight hug, his arms falling naturally to hold her waist close to him. lando risked everything in that moment, pulling slightly back to look at her, before pressing a kiss to her lips.

“camera,” he told her, feeling her hesitation. her smile fell slightly before she leaned up to kiss him again. of course - the cameras, that’s why he kissed me she thought to herself, saddened slightly at the realisation.

there was no camera. they were totally alone.

✧ colours of the sky in your eyes

...fragments of the truth in your lies ✧

lando felt alone, his apartment felt so empty without her. he was happy she had the opportunity to stay in australia and do what she loves, but he couldn’t help but dwell on the flames igniting inside of him when he saw the videos of her and oscar together. it wasn’t jealousy, he told himself, he just missed her. after spending the last few months in close proximity, it made sense that he missed smelling her perfume around, or hearing the way her voice travelled through his brain.

y/n had a calming effect on him, and right now, lando was anything but calm.

which is why he found himself going back to his old ways, in a club, surrounded by women he wouldn’t remember the next day. he was too gone to remember that people with cameras tend to follow him around, capturing his every move in 4k - and he was far too gone to realise that publicly he was in a relationship, a relationship that should not include him leaving a club with a blonde.

and of course, y/n had seen the images blasted over twitter, headlines titled “cheating scandal?” consuming her entire feed. it was hard to remind herself that this thing between her and lando was not real, it was all pretend. and no matter how many times she told herself that fact, y/n couldn’t help but feel jealousy consume her entire existence.

the flat had never felt so awkward than the week before their flight to japan for the next race. she had returned a few days after the incident, lando greeting her at the door with a tight hug and a kiss to her forehead, but something was off.

“you have fun?” he asked her offhandedly as they moved to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water for himself.

“i did,” she said with a smile, though her tone held malice, “did you?”

lando’s hands stopped opening the cap of the bottle as he breathed in sharply.

“the fuck does that mean?” he replied, his tone harsh in defence.

“i was just asking if you had a good time, lando,” y/n answered, “she looked pretty, your type.”

“nothing happened, y/n,” lando told her, his voice sounding almost guilty.

“it’s ok if something did happen - we aren’t actually together,” she assured him, even though she could feel the jealousy bubbling up inside her again, “can you just be more cautious next time? im not sure i enjoy being told i deserved to be cheated on every time i open twitter.”

“im sorry, y/n, i am. i dont know what i was thinking,” he apologised, his eyes still softening with his guilt.

“clearly not a lot,” she tutted, before moving to take her bags to her room.

the rest of the week followed a similar vibe - the two of them barely spoke if they didn’t have to, making a few affectionate public appearances to show the world that their relationship was as strong as ever… oh the irony y/n thought every time she saw something dismissing earlier lando’s actions. however, by the time they flew out to japan, the friendship between the two seemed to have recovered - lando had almost sighed in relief when he saw her smile at him again.

“where you off to today?” lando asked her, pacing around the hotel room as he packed his bag for the day.

“the marina,” she replied, smiling as she pulled her coat on, “looking at the fish.”

“gross.”

“what time is qualis?” y/n asked him, ignoring his statement.

“uhh…3 i think - but you should try and get there by 2?” he told her, glancing down at his phone to see the current time. lando strode over to her, cupping her face lightly as he pressed a quick kiss to her head - this was becoming second nature to him, and she wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“perfect!” she replied, trying to stop the nervous blush rising her face, ignoring the way her stomach flipped, “ill be there,” she added before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and leaving the room. the moment the door closed, lando’s hand raised to touch where she had kissed him, smiling fondly at the thought.

he was utterly and truly fucked. how had he let himself fall for her? how could he continue to pretend to love her, when he really did?

y/n spent the rest of the morning in a similar state of panic, mentally shutting down at the prospect of loving lando and knowing he’d never feel the same. she hadn’t even intended to leave him today, but found herself quickly googling anything for her to do the moment she woke up with his arm wrapped tightly around her stomach and his head resting on her back. y/n needed space, she knew she couldn’t keep up their little act when her heart was slowly shattering every time he kissed her for the cameras.

so caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t realise the time until it hit 2pm and she was stuck at the marina, desperately trying to find a taxi to get her to the track. and when she finally made it, y/n wish she hadn’t bothered.

lando was pacing angrily, talking under his breath as he checked his phone constantly - he only had 5 minutes before he needed to go down to the garage and get ready for qualifiers. the door slid open, and y/n walked through - ready to spurt out her apologies - but she stopped suddenly, sensing the anger looming in his room.

“where were you?” lando asked her, trying to keep himself calm, though the race nerves mixed with his temperament made that quite difficult.

“im sorry lan, i lost trac-”

“lost track of time? found something more interesting to do? save it, i don’t wanna hear your excuses,” he argued back, interrupting her with his ever loudening tone.

“you’d know all about ‘finding something more interesting’, wouldn’t you,” y/n replied, her own voice raising to meet his. if there’s one thing y/n will do, it’s stand up for herself, even when all she wanted to do was kiss him. dont kiss him, hit him she told herself.

“fuck you,” he spat, shoving past her to leave the room.

“at least im here!” she shouted back down the hallway, desperate for the last word

y/n stayed in the room for qualifiers, trying to stop the tears running down her face before lando returned. she hoped his anger was only heightened by his nerves, praying that after securing P3 he would return as his normal self, laughing and joking with her. in a strange way, she wanted cameras on them, she wanted him to be affectionate with her - she needed him to comfort her.

the woman walked nervously down to the garage, hoping to catch him quickly before he had to run off for media duties. maybe now he had secured a solid start position for tomorrows race he would be more willing to have a mature, sensible conversation with her.

or not.

lando spotted her immediately, pulling her arm quickly to lead her round to a secluded area outside the garage. he wasn’t angry at her, he was angry at himself for letting it get this far. he was so irritated, he couldn’t even spare a moment to see the fear in her eyes as he took in a deep breath.

he wasn’t angry at her, but he didn’t know how else to express his overwhelming emotions.

“what do you want? make it quick, ive got media to do,” he snapped, letting go of her arm as they stopped walking. she rubbed at it, her skin still burning from his tight grip.

“i just wanted to see you lan, congratulate you,” she replied softly, biting back tears once more.

“oh now you want to be here to support me?” he breathed out, crossing his arms over his chest.

“what does that mean?”

“i let you come with me to help with your career, and yet you can’t even turn up to support mine. i knew you were selfish but thi-”

“selfish?” she argued, trying to keep her voice low, “me? selfish? i haven’t got enough fingers to count the amount of times you’ve missed my important things because you were busy with your career. and have i complained once?”

“well no but-”

“but nothing, lando. i can’t even pretend to love this version of you,” she ranted, her anger being overcome with sadness, “you know what? fix your own reputation - or don’t. i don’t care what or who you do anymore,” she finished, turning on her heel and storming away from him.

he wanted to follow her, he wanted to hold her close as he apologised. lando knew he was being selfish, he knew it wasn’t fair to string her along under the pretence of saving his career. he knew he could no longer pretend, not with her and not with the public. lando needed her in every sense of the word. but duty calls, so he settles on dealing with this later, sitting her down and telling her the truth, even if it had the potential to destroy their friendship - he figured he couldn’t make it any worse.

but y/n isn’t at the track when he finishes up for the day, and she’s not at the hotel when he returns - and neither are her belongings. lando checked his phone repeatedly, messaging her desperately.

he fell to the bed, head in his hands as he tried to regulate his breathing.

she was gone, and it was all his fault.

✧ i know that you're perfect for me

…tell me that you're sorry

…won't you please just take my heart again ✧

it took a few weeks for lando to finally stop messaging her, though y/n noticed an increase in visits from max, their mutual friend, under the guise of “just checking in” on his childhood friend. y/ wasn’t stupid, she knew who was behind max’s sudden interest in her wellbeing. but max was stupid either, he knew why the two of them had taken this fall out so hard.

“you did what?” max shouted in shock.

“i asked her to pretend to be girlfriend so i could keep my job,” lando sighed, hiding his face in his hands.

“you’re stupid.”

“i know.”

“in what world was that ever going to end well?”

“the world where i didn’t realise i actually do fancy her?” lando replied quietly, questioning his own admission.

“im so stupid,” max replied.

“how are you the stupid one here?”

“stupid for believing the two of you had finally worked out what has been right in front of you since we were 13.”

lando was desperate. he needed to talk to her, he needed to tell her how he felt - but for now, he settled with knowing she was ok.

“she’s alive and healthy - and she had pizza for lunch,” max told him over the phone, growing tired of this weekly routine the two of them had started.

“but she’s doing ok, right?”

“she’s good, lan,” he reassured, neglecting to tell him the part where she cried on him about losing her best friend over a trivial, child-like crush.

“but…?” lando asked, sensing there was more.

“but - she still doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“i could’ve guessed that one, thanks mate.”

“hey dont get mean with me - im just doing what you asked.”

“i know, sorry.”

“don’t apologise to me, find a way to fix this you muppet.”

y/n was not ok, spending most of her nights alone, scrolling through social media seeing the rumours about her and lando’s supposed split - “she’s wasn’t at the race” “i saw her leaving suzuka crying” “he looks so sad in interviews”. why do they care so much? but they aren’t wrong, she thought.

she began looking for a job, but nothing seemed as exciting as the work she’d done with mclarens environmental programme - which seemed to no longer be an option. unbeknownst to her, mclaren also loved the work she had done with them - her presence was greatly missed in the garage by many, especially those on the receiving end of lando’s current outbursts.

y/n’s phone lit up the entire room, the notification cutting through the silence of her room, breaking her away from her own thoughts.

-

y/n was still convinced this was a trick, luring her to miami under the pretence of work so that oscar could push her head first into a trap. the thought stuck with her throughout her plane journey, as she checked in to her hotel, even up to the moment she knocked on oscar’s door to discuss the project. she was waiting for lando to appear, push her into a locked room and force her to talk to him.

“…’but if i talk to him, ill end up telling him why i ran, and how i feel about him, then he’ll reject me, laugh in my face and im back to feeling sorry for myself,” she told oscar, having finished giving him the run down for their project, and allowing the conversation to move to the elephant in the room - what had happened between her and lando.

“im sure that’s not true,” he replied, feeling sad for the girl in front of him, though he already knew most of the story from hearing lando’s self-destructive rants.

she opened her mouth to responded, but was stopped by a sharp knock at the door.

“oscar? are you ready to go?” a familiar voice called from the other side, sending y/n’s blood cold, her eyes widening in panic.

“what the fuck, oscar?” she whispered shouted, feeling betrayed.

“i didn’t know he was coming y/n, i swear, i’d never do that to you,” oscar reassured her truthfully, although slightly beaming as a plan formulated in his head, “stay there, ill tell him to meet me downstairs.”

oscar stood, moving to open the door slightly.

“hey mate - just got some things to sort out, ill meet you downstairs in 15?”

“sure,” lando nodded, turning to leave, but not before his eyes drifted into the room, spotting the same pair of flowery vans that had spent months sitting in his hallway. y/n’s vans.

lando walked down to the lobby, taking a seat as he waited for oscar, his mind consumed with the fact that y/n was here, in miami, in his hotel. why was she here? why hadn’t she told him? was she still avoiding him?

“he-”

“where is she?” lando interrupted the australian the moment he approached.

“’hi oscar, are you ready to go?’ would’ve been my response but ok,” oscar replied.

“where is she, oscar?” lando continued, determined.

“she doesn’t want to see you.”

“i know,” he replied bluntly, “why is she here?”

“y/n was invited to join mclaren as an advisor on a new climate video,” oscar gave in, replying as professionally as he could - he wasn’t here to discuss their ‘breakup’.

that’s a lie, he’s pretty sure zak asked him to do another environmental video purely to suggest that he contacted y/n to be an advisor. and he’s absolutely certain that zak, equally as fed up with lando’s attitude, was looking for a reason to bring the two back together.

“who invited her? where is she staying?” lando quizzed him as they walked towards the car, doubting he’d even get an answer.

“zak invited her, he appreciated the work she did for us in australia,” oscar replied, ignoring his second question. lando hummed in response, if oscar wouldn’t tell him, he would find out for himself.

it was only a press day, so lando split from his teammate and began his hunt for zak brown. it wasn’t hard, the man was wearing bright orange and had a laugh that could be heard for miles.

“hey zak,” he started.

“hey lando, what can i do for you?” zak asked, glancing at his at a text on his phone quickly before giving lando his full attention.

“how are you?” lando asked hastily, beginning his attempt to bombard his boss with questions till he slipped up.

“im good.”

“what are you doing today?”

“just going over some things with the team.”

“what do you think the weather will be like on sunday?”

“war-”

“where’s she staying?”

“the marriot i-” zak replied, pretending to stutter as he answered, feigning shock at accidentally revealing the hotel.

“thanks zak, love you,” lando called out as he jogged out. zak smirked to himself, replying to oscar’s message.

z → mission complete.

o → you made sure it looked like an accident, right?

z → jesus oscar i just told him the hotel name i didn’t kill him

of course lando couldn’t leave the track immediately, he had a job to do first. but the moment he became free for the evening, he was off, arriving at the hotel in record time. there were many cons to being a recognisable face, but a pro of being so famous was a hotel receptionist who barely batted an eyelid as lando demanded to know the room number of y/n l/n.

his knuckles rapped on the door quickly, his heartrate beating rapidly as he did. this could go so many ways, and most of them were not good. the door swung open, his eyes coming to look at the woman in front of him - she looked good, but she looked different, like something was missing.

“lando? what are yo- OSCAR!” she called out, turning to look back into the room, the door widening as she did revealing his teammate sat at the desk, “did you do this?”

“not me,” he replied, holding his hands up in defence. her head spun back around to look at lando, she was taking him in. he had a plaster on his nose, the curls were alive and well, and his everlasting tan ran the expanse of his skin. she didn’t want to admire him, but damn, miami was treating him well.

“go away i dont want to see you,” she announced suddenly, trying to shut the door but finding his foot blocking it.

“i know you don’t, but i need you to just listen to me, please. and then you can shut the door and never have to deal with me again,” he told her, pleading.

“oscar’s here.”

“actually, i should probably get going,” oscar announced moving to grab his stuff to leave. y/ns head shot back around, her eyes shooting daggers at him as if to say ‘dont you dare leave me alone with him right now’ to which he merely shrugged and walked out.

lando closed the door behind him, moving the two of them back into the room - y/n sat down awkwardly on the edge of the bed as he remained stood in front of her.

“what do you need to tell me?” she asked him impatiently.

“y/n, these last few weeks have been hell for me. i know i hurt you, i said some horrible stuff that you really didn’t deserve and i will do anything for you to forgive me and move past this,” he said, pausing before adding, “i don’t know about yo-”

“oh, so it wasn’t you sending max to “check in on me” every week?” she interrupted, her eyebrows quirking with her accusation.

“you worked that one out then?” lando replied, laughing slightly, relief washing over him that she didn’t seem angry at him.

“it was so obvious! since when has max ever felt the need to check im doing ok ever? let alone every week?”

“i sent him because i care about you y/n. you weren’t responding to my messages, dodging my calls,” he told her, watching her smile slightly, a blush rising her face.

“so why are you here now?”

“look, this whole ‘thing’,” he started, waving his arms to indicate he meant whatever the two of them were doing, “it started as something purely to benefit the both of our careers. but i think somewhere down the line, it turned into something more. something that should’ve happened years ago,” he told her, his heart ready to beat its way out of his chest and jump out the window.

the two sat in silence for a moment, y/n mulled over his words in her head. this is what she wanted, wasn’t it? she wanted him to love her the way she loved him. so, why did she feel so apprehensive about letting him back in?

“i know you felt it too, y/n,” lando said again, not letting her thoughts distract her too far.

“feel,” she said bluntly.

“huh?”

“you said felt. i still feel that way about you lan.”

“then why won’t you let me in?”

“you said some really nasty stuff to me, lan. really horrible stuff that had me reconsidering my entire life. you’re lucky i even let you stay. why couldn’t you just be honest with me - instead of pushing me away?”

“i didn’t know how to,” he admitted, stepping closer to her, “if i had a time machine, i would take back everything i said. id go back and slap some fucking sense into myself.”

lando now stood directly in front of her, his thighs brushing her knees lightly as his hand moved to her face, wiping away a tear she didn’t even know what trailing down her cheek. his fingers tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear before settling on cupping her jaw lightly.

“can you forgive me?” he asked her softly, thumb stroking at her cheek.

“it’s not all your fault, lan. i could’ve said something too,” she told him.

“please just say you forgive me so i can kiss you, you idiot,” he laughed out.

“forgiven,” y/n said quickly, her head tilting so that their lips met. it was familiar, the feeling his lips on hers, but this time there was a sense of urgency. a sense of love that was absent anytime they had kissed before. his tongue swiped at her bottom lip, desperate for more which she granted happily, as her hands moved to rest in his hair, tugging at the curls lightly.

“fuck, y/n. ‘missed you so much,” he moaned out, the grip on his hair sending his mind blank.

“missed you too,” she replied as he moved to kiss down her neck softly, “even if you were a bit of a dick.”

“let me make it up to you?” lando teased, nipping at the skin of her neck whilst his fingers toyed with the hem of her top.

“there’s a lot to make up for.”

“ive got time,” he replied, pulling the fabric away from her body fully. her hands reached out, grabbing at his mclaren polo to remove it as well, dropping it next to herself on the bed.

lando laid her back on the bed, hovering over her as he continued kissing down the flesh of her torso.

“y/n i forgot m-” oscar started, barging back into the room, “oh my god, ive been gone what…? 3 minutes? how have you already taken your clothes off?” he exclaimed with a laugh.

“fuck off!” y/n and lando called out in unison, lando reaching for his top and launching it in oscar’s direction.

“ok ok, im going,” he replied, raising his hands again in defence, “stay safe kids,” he added before leaving the room, his forgotten phone now in tow.

“kids?” lando muttered, “im older than him?”

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #formula 1 #mclaren f1 #mclaren #lando norris fluff #propertyofwicked

[pprodsuga]

our last summer | psh

summary: would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

notes: inspired by peace and august by taylor swift and our last summer by ABBA <3 love u forever, my darling sunghoon.

warnings: angst, fluff, nsfw: oral (m + f receiving), unprotected sex, dry humoring, dirty talk, fingering. :)

ahh this was only supposed to be a few thousand words but here we are at 19.4K ...

masterlist + add yourself to my taglist

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

The end of summer is when you start to feel it. 

The hot sun isn’t as inviting as it once was, with the promise of a limitless summer ahead of you before returning to university in the fall. Now, the sunny days feel bleak and lifeless despite the leftover flowers that have bloomed since spring. 

Sunghoon sleeps peacefully with his chest pressed against your mattress, his shirt long discarded from the night before as the warm sun peeks from the curtain shielding your windows. His lips form a pout with the way his cheek is pressed against the pillow as short warm breaths poke at your skin. 

It feels peaceful like this. You turn to face him and put your fingertips on his back to feel the warmth radiating from his body. The overhead ceiling fan blows cool air against his skin and the juxtaposition feels electric. Your hand moves up and down his body, memorizing every dip and pattern for memory’s keepsake. 

In the quiet of his slumber is when you write your name in invisible ink on the expanse of his skin. 

Your hand moves slowly to write in cursive. Sunghoon squirms beneath your touch, his body reacting to the way your fingers move along his muscular back. You don’t notice when he opens his eyes and watches your quiet behavior, but you hear how his breathing has changed and meet his gaze.

“Good morning,” you say to him without lifting your fingers.

“Morning,” he croaks, voice deep and raspy from a good night’s sleep. 

“Did you sleep well?” 

He nods. “Mhm. You put me to sleep, but it seems like I didn’t do a good job if you’re awake before me.”

“Two times means you did an incredible job, Hoon.” 

Sunghoon grins at you and maneuvers his body on top of yours, bringing his nose to touch yours as he smiles. “Wanna make it a third?” 

Despite two months of bedroom trysts, his stare still makes you shy. 

“But I’m getting hungry,” you deflect, breaking eye contact in an attempt to collect yourself. Sunghoon laughs. 

“So am I, and I know what I want for breakfast.” 

You let him push his head to your bare cunt and watch as he moves the blankets out of the way. It feels like it’s getting warmer in the room but it very well could be because your body ignites into flames when Sunghoon’s hands pry your legs apart to present yourself to him. 

He looks at you like it’s the first time all over again, as if it were that night in June when the two of you found yourselves at the same bonfire party to celebrate the start of the summer season. Everyone who left for university had come home and drank underneath the twinkling stars that painted the night sky in a pattern you’d seen a thousand times. 

Sunghoon could only remember your face when he closed his eyes and guessed correctly that you were the person who sat next to him in your shared literature class before graduating, one he never seemed to pay any attention to. You’d grown out of your introverted shell, unlike when you were back in high school, and asked him what he’d been up to since he left. He told you as if the two of you were friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while. You knew his stories but you listened with careful intent because his glossy eyes and his unwavering attention made you feel important. 

You aren’t sure how the two of you ended up as connected as you are. You’d argue Sunghoon knows your body better than you do and that the past couple of months, littered with secret kisses and his hands around your waist, has been the best summer of your life. 

Even with Sunghoon’s fingers prying your pussy open and with his tongue inside of you, the two weeks you have before returning to university is the only thing you can think about. 

Your thoughts drift in and out between focusing on the pleasure he’s giving you coupled with what will happen when the two of you are forced to participate in everyday student life, away from your hometown to face responsibilities. It’ll be your last year, too, and what of the moment when the two of you cross your tassels over your graduation cap? 

Sunghoon’s fingers take your mind off of that thought for a moment. His fingers slide up and down your wet slit and you push his hair from his forehead to see his eyes stare at the mess like he’s never seen you like this before.  

“Have you finished packing?” he asks before bending down to kiss the soft skin of your inner thigh. “My parents keep texting me to do it.” 

“Halfway done,” you say breathlessly. 

“Me too.” Sunghoon’s hair makes your body lurch forward but he uses his strong arms to hold you in place. “Gonna miss summer break when we go back.” 

You don’t say anything. It’s too much for you to think about, especially when the man between your legs is the most handsome and angelic looking boy you have ever seen in your life. Sunghoon gets so lost in your pleasure that he periodically licks his lips at the sight of your pussy exposed to him, paying attention to nothing but your clit that he loves to call pretty. 

“Your pussy gets so wet every time,” he says as his finger flicks your clit back and forth before his mouth presses a chaste kiss on the bud. “It’s so sexy.” 

“You know how to use your mouth well,” you praise. Sunghoon grins at your words and hums when your fingers scratch his head as his tongue dives back into your core. 

He’s slow with it, unlike the night prior when he had asked to come over with a tent already visible in his pants. Sunghoon takes his time dragging his tongue all over you as if he’s trying to commit the way you taste to memory. His tongue works expertly to reach where your own fingers can’t and you can hear him chuckle from below you when your back arches from a particular sensation. 

Sunghoon’s hands support you, sliding from your thighs to grip your hips as you push your pussy into his face. You feel him hum against you as you press yourself into him and if there’s one thing you can infer from your bedroom holidays, it’s that your pleasure brings Sunghoon his. 

You come undone a few minutes later as he coaxes you through it, gently licking you clean until your release has been swallowed by him. Sunghoon peppers small kisses along your thighs as a silent praise for a job well done for letting him take you the way he wants, his hands smoothing over your body to grip your breasts before moving his way on top of you. 

The kiss is slow like two lovers on borrowed time. Sunghoon’s body slips between your legs as your hands come to cup his jawline with your own hands, pushing your lips against his swollen ones. He kisses you like time does not exist and the world outside remains still despite hearing the sounds of birds chirping from just outside of your window. 

Sunghoon gasps into the kiss when your hips meet his, forcing his cock to situate itself between your bodies. He’s hard from a mixture of tasting you in his mouth and humping the bed when he heard your breaths become shallow before eventually releasing all you had to offer. You push yourself against him until you elicit a deep moan from the back of his throat. 

“Thought you were hungry,” he whispers against your ear, kissing the skin below it as his hips move until his cock is sliding between your folds. 

“Breakfast can wait.” Your hands smooth themselves over his toned body and arms, squeezing his biceps as he raises his chest to see where you two meet. 

“Is my pretty girl worked up?” Sunghoon teases with a breathy tone. His hardness matches your arousal and the erotic sound of wetness splashing has him pushing the tip of his cock against your clit. 

“Just a little bit,” you say coyly. “I wanna feel you.” 

Sunghoon sinks himself into you without a second thought.

“I want to feel you too.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

You avoid talking to Sunghoon about the upcoming fall semester. You’re not sure if he can tell that your mind has been preoccupied with the future because he seems so content in the present, spending his free time with you when he isn’t with his other friends and family. 

It’s almost unfair how handsome he looks when the sun kisses his skin. Its golden hues emphasize his sharp jaw and brown eyes that resemble comfort underneath the warm light. 

The way he looks reminds you of when you’d use to see him around school before moving away to college. Sunghoon was always revered by his classmates for his astonishingly good looks with his hair always falling into place like dominoes. 

He was a household name for more reasons than one. Sunghoon’s figure skating career was at an all time high during his third year of high school, often having missed classes for competitions. He was all the girls could talk about in between classes and it was like the community around you built an invisible shrine to illustrate how worthy everyone thought him to be. 

You were never friends with him as his popularity was a bit too out of reach for you, back when everybody cared about the superficial. But Sunghoon lived towards the end of the block where you’d see him leave for practice or come home late through your bedroom window since you were a kid. Your classmates were right to praise him for his tenacity and resilience, although you had a sneaking suspicion that they did so because he was incredibly good looking with rumors of having a very successful figure skating career in a few year’s time. 

You didn’t see it that way. The two of you were not friendly by any means, but you could see the weight of the world on his shoulders when he’d come home after a long day at the ice rink. You could hear fragments of conversations, namely how hard it was to balance schoolwork, college applications, and a career he wasn’t sure he was ready to commit to. 

University was right around the corner and he itched to experience life that didn’t surround figure skating. It always felt like silent, one-sided support on your end as you’d hear Sunghoon talk to his parents on his way inside of the house. It felt like you were getting to know the person he was when he wasn’t smiling for the camera or for people who liked him for the attention. Still, you’re sure Sunghoon had no idea who you were until just before the summer of your last year of college. 

The news that he would retire from professional skating rocked the community but people were supportive of his decision to pursue a degree. He left the small town behind to pursue a life in Seoul, not for his ice skating career, but to get a taste of what his life could look like.

Then, he met you. 

You’re still somewhat astonished that he knew who you were, given that you hadn’t spoken much in the years you lived in his neighborhood. Sunghoon made an effort to wave at you in passing and talk to you, going so far as to introduce you to his friends when he had spotted you sitting by yourself in the cafeteria. Heeseung, Jay, and Jake were smitten by your humble nature and were too eager to listen to stories about their best friend in a time where they did not know him. Thinking about that period of your life makes your stomach turn. 

Sunghoon kisses your cheek when you both exit your house. His car is parked out front and he opens the door for you before getting inside himself. The weekend is unpromising, as most are, and you find yourself wondering what Sunghoon has planned for the day. 

“I see the gears turning in that pretty little head of yours,” Sunghoon comments as he drives out of your street. He puts his hand on your thigh and caresses you with his thumb. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yes,” you lie. “I think I’m still waking up.” 

Sunghoon laughs. “Even after I’ve been inside of you?” He watches you blush from the corner of his eye, squeezing your thigh when he hears you stutter over your words. 

“Yes,” you mumble. “Even after all of that.” 

“Good think I’m planning on getting coffee,” he tells you, diverting his attention back to the road. “I could use a pick me up.” 

Sunghoon pays for your beverages and encourages you to pick out a pastry despite having had a small breakfast at his place. He tells you to stand away from the crowd gathering around the hand off station. Watching him with his back turned to you, patiently waiting for his order, feels extremely familiar because of how frequent Sunghoon has taken you out this summer. You don’t think you’ve ever spent time with him like this before the two of you left to go back home for the break.

“For you,” Sunghoon says, pulling you out of your thoughts. You drink the ice cold liquid and feel the unnerving thoughts wash out of you with the first sip, willing yourself to be present. 

“Thanks, Hoon. Got anything else planned for today?”

He bites into a croissant. “The rink I used to skate at has a half price day today. I was thinking we could spend the next hour or two there.”

“Why, so you could show off in front of me?” Sunghoon knocks your knee with his when he sees your lip quirk upwards. 

“I know you’re curious.” You can’t fault him there. 

“Mm, that I am. I can’t say I’m at your level but I can stand on my own two feet without needing to hold onto the rail.” 

“I’m rusty,” he says. “I haven’t been on the ice in forever.”

“I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” 

“Besides,” Sunghoon says after taking another bite, “I want to see you stumble around like a penguin.” 

“I told you, I’m decent,” you huff. “I used to go to the rink with my cousin when we were kids and I used to see you warming up.”

“Oh, you did?” 

“Only sometimes. We usually went on the weekends in the morning to avoid the crowd.” 

Sunghoon nods. “Yeah, that sounds about right. In the first few years of training, I’d have to be at the rink when people were waking up. I wish I could’ve seen you there.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him. “We weren’t really friends until this year.”

“Still, it would’ve been nice to have seen you.” 

Sunghoon’s words make your heart lurch. You can’t stop yourself from thinking about it.

“We didn’t run in the same circles back in high school, did we?” you ask him to quell his dampened expression, knocking Sunghoon’s knee like he did with you. “You were definitely more popular between us two.” 

“Popular is definitely a word,” he says, biting the end of his straw. “I think people liked that I was on national TV. I couldn’t go a day without people saying something about it.”

“You worked hard to get there. I understand why you were the talk of the town.” 

He shrugs. “I guess so. It was hard to balance school and my career. I felt like a walking zombie every time I’d show up to class.” 

“From where I stood, I can definitely say that look worked for you.” 

Sunghoon raised his eyebrow at you. “Oh? And were you looking?”

You roll your eyes. “These are things I’ve heard other people say.”

“Right, right,” he says with a mischievous grin like he doesn’t believe you. 

“Whatever,” you mumble, praying that your cheeks would cool down. “God, I don’t think I went an hour without hearing someone talk about you.”

“Yeah. I remember a bunch of people I didn’t know coming up to me like we’d been friends since birth.” 

“That had to feel weird.” 

“It was weird. Definitely weird. I’d eat lunch and some kid would ask me how practice was going.”

“Then what?” you ask.

“I’d tell them my practice schedule and say I’m hoping for good scores for my next competition.” 

“You definitely could’ve been an idol in another life,” you tease. “You were so good at giving vague answers that satisfied people.” 

Sunghoon shrugs. “Nah, not for me. You know, I don’t think I had any real friends, though. Just people who thought my career path was cool.” 

It hurts to hear it when you recall the nights seeing Sunghoon come home past his bedtime and then in class the next morning. He always looked just shy of collapsing, but that attitude was what the girls were into back then. For you, however, it seemed almost worrisome.

“I’m sorry,” you say earnestly. “I don’t know if you remember, but sometimes I’d hang out on my balcony and watch the neighborhood. Most nights I saw you come home late from practice and I always wondered how you did all of it without breaking a sweat. Even when we had literature together, I wished we were close enough so that I could’ve asked you if you were okay without sounding like a deranged fangirl.” 

You try not to wince with embarrassment at your long confession. Sunghoon looks at you with an expression you can’t read, blinking at you as if he’s thinking about what to say next. He remains silent. 

“Well, I think we should head over.” You abruptly stand and throw your empty pastry bag into the trash can next to you and try to keep a loose grip on your cup despite your chest caving. “I want to be impressed by your fancy moves.” 

“I can do that,” he tells you, coming out of his daze when he registers that you’ve moved spots. You push the uneasy feeling out of your mind, pretending you didn’t make things awkward between the two of you. 

“If you fall in your face, I’ll deduct a point.”

Sunghoon laughs. “I’ll be sure not to fall. I think my time training has prepared me for this.” 

You don’t say another word as Sunghoon throws his trash away. You want to hang your head in shame and ask Sunghoon to drive you home so that you can wallow in your misery, alone in your bedroom. But he jogs ahead of you to open the door, allowing you to step out before him. You thank him with a meek voice and swallow when you notice your throat has run dry. 

When you approach the passenger side of his car, Sunghoon opens the door for you. You’re about to step inside when he pulls you into him. You feel his other hand on your waist when he pushes his lips against your own. 

His mouth tastes like coffee and the cold sensation of the ice from the drink makes your body shiver. Sunghoon tilts his head and angles himself to push harder against you, squeezing your body with his fingertips before pulling away to see the dazed look in your eyes. Sunghoon chuckles when you look at him, using his thumb to wipe the spit that has collected on your bottom lip. 

“I always saw you on your balcony,” Sunghoon says before leaning in to steal another kiss. He opens his eyes only after he’s pulled away once again, and you see the way he struggles to keep himself composed. “I would never think you’re a deranged fangirl, by the way.” 

You struggle to find the words to speak. He grins at you like he’s proud to have caught you off guard, opening the door wider while pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before encouraging you inside the vehicle. He closes the door and you sit with your mouth slightly ajar when he turns on the engine. 

Sunghoon breathes a laugh and places his hand on your thigh before heading to the ice rink, leaving you astounded and wondering if you were dreaming.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

It’s the last Wednesday before the two of you go back to university. 

You’re both arriving separately with your parents and belongings in tow, respectively. It’s been convenient that your family has been on a summer vacation of their own, leaving just after you and Sunghoon had started fooling around, and arriving within two days to drive with you back to school. His parents have been running all over Korea to support his younger sister’s traveling performances in dance. He’s attended a few of her competitions around the country a few times, and even invited you to see one or them with him when she was back in town. 

Otherwise, the two of you spend every waking moment together. The only time you’d spend apart is when he’d leave to watch his sister dance or when you had your shifts at a family-friend’s dumpling shop. Even when you’d see a few friends from back home, it seemed to end with Sunghoon in your bed more often than not.  

Dusk has settled on the tail end and the sun is almost disappearing. A wave of anxiety washes over you when Sunghoon suggests that you stay at his house longer after having spent the day using his pool. You brought a change of clothes and Sunghoon offered the shower to you. When you say yes, he tells you to go first. 

This isn’t your first time using his bathroom by any means, but it’s your first time being completely naked without the pretext of having sex. Suddenly, you smell like Sunghoon because of his shampoo and body wash. You smell of sandalwood and cinnamon, the kind that reminds you of when your face is pressed close to his. 

The intensity of your feelings becomes apparent when you dry your hair to the best of your ability with the towel he gave you. You put your clothes on and wring out any water from your bathing suit before looking at yourself in the mirror. 

You’ve never spent time in his home like this. You know his bedroom well enough, but it’s usually your house that the two of you hang out in. Sunghoon is the one who comes over, unannounced or not, and he’s the one who brings a change of clothes over just in case the two of you grow tired from talking or otherwise. 

It feels strangely comfortable to be alone in his bedroom’s bathroom unsupervised. But it’s a feeling you wish would go away because neither you nor Sunghoon have talked about what will happen when you return to university. Instead, you suck in a breath and force yourself outside. 

“Took you long enough,” Sunghoon teases when you emerge from his room and into the kitchen. He has a cherry popsicle in his hand to combat the hot weather that has made his mouth look red. 

“You told me to take my time, so that’s what I did,” you retort as you walk closer. You stand before him and he looks at you with a mischievous grin before your eyes dart to the popsicle in his hand. 

“You want one?” he asks.

“Yes, please.” 

“Open wide.” 

You barely register his command when he gently pushes the cool popsicle to your lips, beckoning you to open your mouth. The ice melts against you when it enters inside and your mouth closes against the popsicle when you feel the melted juices begin to run down your chin. 

“That’s a good girl,” he whispers lowly, eyes focused on your mouth and the way your cheeks hollow. “Tastes good, yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you mutter with it in your mouth. 

Sunghoon pulls the stick from you and continues looking at your red lips and tongue like he’s mesmerized. He looks at you after you’ve bitten your bottom lip and puts the stick in your hand. 

“I’m going to shower,” he says. “You can have the rest.” 

Sunghoon walks away without so much as another word, leaving you equally breathless and turned on. Did Sunghoon mean to leave you like this? He loves to tease you and will always finish his remarks with a kiss to your lips or forehead. But this time, he left without that familiar kiss and it looked like Sunghoon was rushing to the bathroom. 

With a slight boost in your ego, you put the popsicle back into your mouth and suck on it until all that remains is the stick and the taste of wood. 

Sunghoon isn’t in the shower for long. You don’t know what washes over you when you enter his bedroom after hearing the water turn off. When he exits his bathroom, his hair is still damp and his skin glistens from the water. His towel hangs low on his hips and you can see every ridge, curve, and divet on his body. It makes your mouth water and you’re stunned when he meets your eyes. 

“It’s a good flavor, right?” Sunghoon asks after a moment of quiet. 

“What?” 

“The popsicle,” he says with a tick in his voice. “It was good, wasn’t it?” You look at him when he takes a step forward. 

“The best,” you barely manage to say.

You swallow when his steps reach just an inch from where you are. Sunghoon looks at you through his eyelashes and waits for you to say something with the side of his face quirks in amusement. His dimple peeks out and the canines of his teeth that you’ve become fully obsessed with are on full display. 

Sunghoon leans forward until his lips barely touch yours, eyes flickering down to stare at your mouth. That sensation has you gasping against him, the warm air making him chuckle just enough for him to poke his tongue out and gently lick over your bottom lip. 

“Mm,” Sunghoon hums. “You taste like cherry.” 

He pulls you by your waist and pushes you flush against his body. His strong arms keep you caged into him while your own flail at the sudden movement. You settle by putting your palms against his shoulders and holding on like you’re afraid you’ll fall if you don’t find your balance. Sunghoon pulls you closer to his mouth and makes you stand on your toes just to keep up with him as his mouth invades your personal space.

The kiss is warm and audible. His tongue pushes against yours and his teeth are nearly knocking into yours as you gain your momentum and recover from the shock of his actions. You grow wetter when you realize Sunghoon’s still damp from his shower, the droplets of water from his hair falling onto your arms like they’re meant to keep you aware of what’s happening. 

Without detaching himself from you, Sunghoon sits on the bed with his towel still on and pulls your body so that you’re sitting on his lap. His arms are securely behind you and your back arches when he caresses your spine. 

You suck on his tongue as he kneads the flesh of your ass, gently encouraging you to rock yourself on his body. The two of you moan into each other’s mouths breathlessly when you part for a few seconds of fresh air. Your hands grab his neck as you hold him in place like you’re afraid he’ll vanish if you don’t hold onto him tight enough.  

He grows hard underneath you in record speed as you keep rising from his lap to kiss him deeper, followed by pushing yourself onto him to relieve friction. Sunghoon grunts against you and slaps your left ass cheek in retaliation when you put more pressure on his throbbing cock. 

It’s then when you open your eyes and pull back. Sunghoon keeps his eyes closed momentarily, too lost in the high of his euphoria until he realizes your mouth isn’t on his anymore. His eyelashes make him look celestial, the mole on his cheek too tempting for you not to kiss. But you refrain, holding yourself steady as you try to keep your composure. 

“It’s late,” you whisper. 

“And?” he asks, catching his breath. 

“We have to finish packing,” you reason, although you don’t think you believe in yourself when you say it.

“You have all weekend,” he pleads. Sunghoon holds you with one arm and brushes your hair from your face with his free hand. “What’s going on in that head of yours, baby?”

You bite your lip as he stares at you and it’s jarring to see his careful eyes look at you while he remains exceptionally hard beneath you. Sunghoon squeezes his hand on your waist as gentle encouragement and you watch him tilt his head like he’s listening. 

“I…,” you falter. Sunghoon’s stare is too intense. You look beside him and focus on the blankets that cover his mattress. “We go back to school soon, Hoon. I guess I’m just nervous about what’s gonna happen.” 

“What do you mean by that?”

You bite your lip. “Dunno. I think I’m just nervous for the future. One last year and everything is uncertain.” 

Sunghoon can sense that you’re not telling him the whole truth but he doesn’t pry you to say anything else. He has his own fears about his future as well, and the relationship he’s built with you over the summer has done wonders to quell his worries. But that too is coming to an end. His half-packed belongings sit in another room for him to worry about at a later time.

You feel his lips make contact with your own, this time kissing you with less fervor than before. The kiss feels like a silent reassurance that everything will be okay. Sunghoon lingers for a few seconds before pulling back, just to push himself forward to press more kisses onto your lips until you’ve melted against him. 

“I just want you to be okay,” Sunghoon mumbles between kisses. 

“It’s late,” you say again, hands bracing his chest.

“You could always stay here for the night,” he says. 

“I wouldn’t want to bother you.” Sunghoon places both of his hands on your waist and gives you a squeeze, looking into your eyes. 

“I want you to stay,” he tells you. “Please stay the night.” 

You deliberate for a moment only to nod and relent. Sunghoon grins, pressing forward to kiss you again. He tastes so fresh after his shower, lips supple and plump as the heat from the water still radiates from his skin. You try not to think about his sculpted chest and toned arms but that does nothing for you when you feel Sunghoon’s lips on your neck. 

He chuckles when he hears you gasp. It drives him to put small kisses all over the expanse of your neck, alternating between kissing you and leaving small kitten licks across your skin. The wetness of his saliva makes your arousal pool in your panties and his hair, still wet from his shower, caresses your skin too. 

Sunghoon grunts against your jawline when you push your body against his, feeling his hard outline against your core. Sunghoon bucks his hips when he feels you and curses when you push him off of your neck to sink to your knees.

“Fuck, baby,” he says. Sunghoon watches as you undo the towel and push the fabric aside until his cock becomes accessible to you, spreading his legs so you can situate yourself between them.

The gasp Sunghoon emits when you lick him from his balls to his tip is enchanting. He looks down at you like it’s the first time he’s seeing you be like this for him, especially when you steady your hands on his thighs and kiss the soft skin there. 

You envelop the tip in your mouth and let your tongue dance on the slit a few times before swirling your wet muscle around him. Sunghoon lets out a low groan when your nails caress his thighs too, cock twitching in your mouth and prompting you to take another inch. 

He’s rock hard in record time. Sunghoon doesn’t care about that right now, not when you’ve decided to push your head down and engulf half of him with your tongue running over his veins and his sensitive points. 

“You’re so good at this,” he praises. Sunghoon’s palms lay flat on the mattress as his eyes lazily see you through his pleasured expression. “Can you make it messy for me? I wanna see how messy you can be.”

You look up at Sunghoon, who has his bottom lip between his teeth. He looks like an Adonis type with his perfect body and hair falling over his eyes. You do as he says, pulling yourself off of him to gather saliva before letting your spit fall on his cock. He moans when he feels it dripping down him and at the sight of it falling from your mouth. Sunghoon is pleased when you push your head down until he feels the back of your throat, even more so when he feels spit gathering at the base and sliding down to his balls. 

You pull yourself off of him just to repeat the process over and over again until Sunghoon is a loud, unholy mess above you. He nearly orgasms when he feels your hands massage his balls but tries to prolong his pleasure. 

“You’re so nasty,” he whispers like he’s in disbelief. The sounds of your throat gagging around his cock turn him on and he grips the bed sheets below when you look up at him with him inside your mouth. Your head moves in quick succession to amplify the noise, letting yourself become lost in the feeling of pleasuring Sunghoon. 

“Ah, fuck,” he cursed when your tongue works his underside. “I’m gonna cum.” 

It doesn’t take him long to finish soon after that. He gives you enough warning time to pull your head away but stares down at you with an open jaw when you grip his base and keep his cock situated in your mouth as he comes. 

He watches you close your eyes the moment his come seeps into your tongue and the way you hum around him as you clean him up. Sunghoon’s hips buckle and he does his best to keep his body upright to watch you lick his orgasm. Your mouth constructs around his cock and you continue to glide your tongue over him until there’s no evidence of his come left. 

“You’re perfect.” Sunghoon praises you as he helps you stand from your spot on the floor, turning you around to pull your shorts and panties off while you take off your top and fling it haphazardly. 

Sunghoon spreads your ass in front of him, staring at your body in wonder. Your wetness becomes apparent to him when the light glistens against it and you hear him curse, prompting you to look back at him. You feel Sunghoon gather your arousal on his hand before grabbing cock and pleasuring himself with all you have to offer him. Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head.  

“I’ll eat you out in a second,” he swears to you as he meets your eye. “Please let me put it in for a little bit. I need to feel your pussy around me.” 

You maneuver to sit back on his lap as he holds you in place with one arm, gripping his still-hardened cock to align with your entrance with his other. The tip grazes your slit, pulling a moan out of you. His warmth feels incredible, almost as if a fire has been lit inside of you with his cock acting as the match. The collective gasp is the only sound heard in the silence of his room. You sink on his cock slowly as you adjust to his size, watching the way his eyebrows furrow like he’s concentrating on the pleasure you bring him.. 

You feel whole and complete when you’re like this. Sunghoon’s quietness tells you he’s savoring the feeling too. His breathing is warm as it hits your chest and you look beneath you to see the ends of his hair tickling your breasts. Sunghoon is dry for the most part, save for his still-damp hair, but he looks like an angelic creature who fell from Heaven when you fully seat yourself on his cock. 

Sunghoon moves your body up and down slowly. His hands never stray from your soft skin as your ass meets his thighs. The sensation is incredibly wet and warm, the shock of pleasure shooting from your spine all the way to your toes. He moves you in a quicker pace gradually to build the momentum until he breathes quiet gasps when the flesh of your ass smacks against his skin. 

Your own wanton moans come unexpectedly as he pushes himself deeper into you. Sunghoon has never been this sensual with you either. He’s more vocal than he is now, just shy from an animalistic howl with witty remarks when you’re either too bashful to look him in the eye as he fucks you or when you talk back to him when you know you shouldn’t. This feels almost too raw and natural. It feels like he’s trying to tell you something but you’re too in your head to know what he’s trying to say.

By the time you’re bouncing on him with your hands placed on his chest to keep yourself balanced, you’re wondering how he’s strong enough to support himself on his palms while you ride him like it’s all you know. Sunghoon nods at you, drunk on the euphoria with every plunge you take. He hisses when you clench around him and pulls you off of his body to pin you underneath him, lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss.

“Don’t wanna cum yet,” he mutters against your lips before dragging them down to your neck. “I promised to eat you out, didn’t I?” 

He doesn’t give you the chance to respond. Sunghoon attaches his mouth to your right nipple and licks over your bud until he’s satisfied with how wet it’s become before moving to the neglected one, this time sucking with his tongue flicking over it until your hips push against him. 

Sunghoon lets go and with his hands massaging your chest, he maneuvers down to press a little kiss to your slit. He’s pleased when your body reacts accordingly, arching to push your core towards his face. His hands pinch your nipples before sliding them down your body to grip your ass, pulling you closer to his mouth when he pushes his tongue inside of you.

Your hands fly to grip his hair from the sudden and welcomed intrusion. Sunghoon’s tongue darts in and out of you while his hands massage you from behind. The angle has your chest pushed towards the ceiling as high as you’ll go with your eyes rolled to the back of your head. His wet tongue feels smooth and divine as he brings it to glide over your wet folds, collecting your arousal and drinking it like it’s nectar from the gods. 

His nose bumps your clit and you push your pussy into his face when he surges forward. Sunghoon’s growls into your body make your toes curl against his back. Your mouth hangs open as moan after moan falls from your lips and it seems as though your body knows no self control when it comes to the boy below you. 

“I love your mouth,” you confess with the tug of his hair at the same time an overwhelming, emotional sensation washes over. You don’t say what you mean, but it’s enough for now. 

“I love the sounds you make,” Sunghoon says as he parts from your core. He flattens his tongue to lick up your slit in rapid succession, watching your arousal and his spit drag from your pussy to his tongue.

“You sound like a fucking porn star when I eat you out.” 

“You’re that good,” is all you manage to say when he flicks your clit with his tongue. “I love your mouth but I want your cock.”

“Princess gets whatever she wants.”

Sunghoon pushes himself until he’s hovering over you. He bends down to suck on your nipples before bringing his mouth to your own, kisses you with his hands braced beside you on the mattress. Sunghoon uses his hands to position you how he likes before spreading his own legs to guide his cock into your entrance, allowing himself to push the tip inside of you. 

He inches inside of you little by little, watching the micro expressions on your face when you close your eyes to focus on the pleasure. You feel his fingers brushing the hair from your forehead as he coos and whispers sweet praises about how well you’re taking his cock and how good you feel around him. 

When Sunghoon is fully sheathed inside of you, he pulls your arms around his shoulders and thrusts inside of you so deeply that you’re sure he’s reached your guts. He can feel your tits against his chest as he pushes his hips forward. The moans he hears from you sound like music to his ears and motivate him to thrust into you deeper to continue pulling those delicious sounds out of you.

It feels so good and so deep that it brings tears to the corners of your eyes. Your heart swells when you think about how mind blowing his cock is making you feel and you start to wonder if this is the last time you’ll ever be able to feel Sunghoon like this. The lone tear strays and falls from the corner or your eye until you produce a few more droplets when Sunghoon lifts his body upwards to push himself down onto you. 

You let out a deep, melodic moan that has Sunghoon’s hips stuttering. He looks up from where his head is placed on your neck to see your reddening eyes and furrows his brows quizzically, preparing himself to stop until you shake your head. 

The two of you have never been as silent as you are now. Instead, you let the wet smacks and breathless moans do the speaking for you. Sunghoon leans down to kiss your tear-stained cheeks, and it’s this sheer intimate act that makes you lose yourself around him. 

He slows his pace when he feels you coming undone around him, watching as your chest rises and as it deflates as you come down from your high. It washes over you like an ocean wave, so intensely before it quells around you. Sunghoon finds himself in a similar state until he releases inside of you with a low grunt and his lips on your very own. 

The two of you remain still as you catch your breaths. Sunghoon pulls out slowly and promises to come back with a warm cloth. He comes back once he’s cleaned himself up and gently swipes the cloth over your body to clean any remnants of cum from between your legs before tossing it in his hamper and handing your discarded clothes back to you. 

Sunghoon comes back to bed with boxers and a pair of plaid pajama pants when you blink out of tiredness. He coos at your innocence in this moment before bending down to kiss you while he climbs into bed. Sunghoon turns off the lamp that lights his room and watches as everything falls dark, the light from outside of his window being the only light illuminating over your face. 

He pulls you into him and kisses you slowly. When he hears you yawn, Sunghoon kisses both of your eyelids and promises for the last time that he wants you to stay over until the morning. 

“We’ll be okay, right?” 

Sunghoon stills at your question. You sound too far gone to realize what you’re saying as you nuzzle against his body. When he looks down at you, all he sees is your eyelashes fluttering as you close your eyes and the way your lips form a small pout as you attempt to fall asleep. He doesn’t say anything, choosing to squeeze your body closer to him. 

With one final kiss, he tucks his chin on the top of your head and his fingers caress over your back until the promise of sleep comes before you.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

The first week back at university is hectic. 

Your parents said goodbye as your other roommates, Yuna and Ryujin, arrived at your shared apartment. It was nice to see them again after months of only being able to text them because of the distance, and having them with you as your parents left was an added bonus to your weekend. 

You and Sunghoon don’t text much during this time. You ask him if he’s settled in yet, to which he sends a photo of his friends Jay and Jake wrestling in their living room. You react by laughing at the image and that’s the last you hear from him for a while. You don’t expect to hear from him, as you also haven’t been reaching out that much either, due to moving your belongings into your shared apartment and getting ready for the first week of the semester. 

It’s the night before classes begin when Yuna sits down next to you as you watch anime on the shared TV, stealing the pint of cream out of your hands. 

“I can’t believe you were fucking Park Sunghoon over the summer.” You barely react to her taking the ice cream out of your hands and let her have it, grinning in amusement. 

“Stealing my food out of my hands is something I oddly missed in the three months I haven’t seen you.”

“Don’t change the subject,” she says in a way that makes you think she’s trying to be intimidating. The spoon in her mouth isn’t helping her case. “You and Park Sunghoon. You know, the Sunghoon who you had a major crush on in high school but didn’t know you existed until earlier this year?”

“Okay, you really didn’t have to do all of that.” 

“Uh, yes I did.” Yuna shoves another spoonful in her mouth. “I simultaneously want to hear everything about it and nothing at all.” You laugh and steal the ice cream back from her. 

“I couldn’t tell you how it happened, honestly. We didn’t start seeing each other until we both settled back home. I kind of missed being in a place where I know it could’ve been just us two.”

“What about your parents?”

“Gone on a trip for the latter half of summer,” you tell her. “Sunghoon’s parents were traveling with his sister across Korea for dance competitions. It was the perfect set up, if you think about it.”

“God, he’s hot, isn’t he?” she coaxes. “I could totally see he had a thing for you the night you two reconnected. Everyone kept trying to get his attention off of you but he just ignored people who weren’t you.”

“Oh, that’s true.”

“Totally is,” Yuna says with a nod. “I bet it I asked Jake if Sunghoon’s whipped for you, he’d say yes.” You put ice cream in your mouth to suppress a grin. 

“Don’t put delusions in my head.” You look at Yuna. “But do you really think so?”

“The way you were describing your summer fling with Sunghoon made it sound like you guys were dating, Y/N. I know you don’t bullshit your way into delusions like the rest of us either.” 

“He really was a perfect gentleman,” you tell her. “My parents came home when he dropped me off after we hung out and Sunghoon stayed over for dinner until I had to finish packing. It was weirdly domestic.”

“That’s your boyfriend, is all I’m saying.”

You smack her arm. “Quit it.”

“Have you guys been texting since you got back?”

“Not really, but I didn’t think we would be. It’s the first week back and we’re both super busy, you know? I’m sure he’s catching up with his friends and spending time with them since he’s been away all summer. Hoon views my Instagram stories and that’s enough for right now.”

“I don’t know whether you’re trying to convince yourself you’re okay or if you’re actually fine with it.” 

“I’m fine, honest,” you say truthfully. “I mean, I’m busy getting back into the groove of university and entertaining you and Ryujin since your favorite pastime seems to be bothering me.” Yuna rests her head on your shoulders and takes the pint of ice cream back to her. 

“Oh yeah, I definitely missed you.” 

You put your head on top of hers. “I missed you too, Yuna. But seriously, I’m okay.” 

“Did you guys talk about it at all?”

You keep quiet for a moment. “Not really. I was anxious about it the last few weeks of summer but there never seemed to be a right time to talk. We’ve been friendly since our parents came back home so we obviously had to stop fooling around.”

“Still, though. Are you guys like…dating?” 

Yuna doesn’t see your eyes fall. 

“No, we’re not dating.” 

“Hm,” she ponders. “Well he should wife you up soon or else I’ll do it.” 

“We’re already locked in,” you tease her with the hope that this sinking feeling vanishes. 

“Ryujin’s our third,” Yuna says matter-of-factly. “Or, she will be whenever she comes back with dinner.” 

“I missed you guys, I really did. Being back at home was nice and all but I miss going out with you two and staying in all weekend to watch marathons of stupid reality shows that don’t make sense.” 

“We missed you too,” Yuna agrees. “I’m glad we all decided to be roommates again. Kicking out that bitch from the fall semester and having you as the replacement was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now,” you tease. 

Yuna parts from you to put the ice cream away after the two of you are done with it. She comes back and sits beside you, intently watching the anime in front of her when you pull your phone out. The last message is still that photo and Jay and Jake from a few days ago when you decide to text him.

you: is it bad that i'm still nervous about the first day of school even though it’s my last year of university 

you: asking for a friend 🤨

You shut your phone off to prevent yourself from waiting for his answer. You distract yourself with the show in front of you as minutes goes by before checking again, only to see he hasn’t texted back. The disappointment settles within you, even though the rational part of you knows he’s probably not ignoring you. 

Ryujin comes back twenty minutes later with dinner she’s picked up on her way back from running errands. The three of you sit around the coffee table and eat wordlessly in front of the TV from a tiring day and it doesn’t feel awkward or forced. 

You talk about your respective summers over the sound of the TV, only briefly pausing to watch action sequences that have distracted the conversation until it falls back into place. You tell Ryujin what you told Yuna about your time with Sunghoon and she nearly swoons when you tell her about your summer. 

When the two of them have focused back on the TV, you see Sunghoon text you from the corner of your eye. You check your phone again and try to keep your excitement to a minimum.

sunghoon: Definitely not a bad thing. I’d be a little worried if you weren’t 

you: i think i’m just nervous because it’s our last year 

you: anyway, did you settle in alright? are jay and jake still fighting lol 

sunghoon: Take it easy, okay? You seemed on edge back at home 

sunghoon: The guys are fine haha I think they missed each other even though they don’t act like it. Heeseung’s been keeping the peace. How about Ryujin and Yuna?

you: they’re good!! I’m actually with them right now. we’re watching my hero academia and having dinner 

sunghoon: Pay attention to the TV and not me, Y/N 😭

sunghoon: The guys and I are gonna order takeout and I might pass out soon. Goodnight if I fall asleep before you do :) 

you: gooodnight, hoon 😌

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

It’s unsurprising that your semester has started with a bang and that you find yourself more busy than not.

You’re barely home between classes, clubs, and your internship that eats up half of your week. You study at home and in cafes on campus with your other friends and roommates as well, catching up on lost time and complaining about how much work is being assigned. 

Sunghoon doesn’t text much and you try not to let it get to you. You’ve sent a few here and there, wishing him a good morning a few days ago and asking if he’d be free to study with you some time this week. Still, you chalk it up to him settling into his life back at university. 

You don’t know why this sinking feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. You never expected this summer romance to turn into anything more despite your want. But the change of environment and how abruptly your life changed after settling into a routine with Sunghoon has you imagining the worst. 

Yuna and Ryujin leave the cafe you’ve been studying at after an hour to head to their shared class, leaving you alone at your table until someone tugs your headphones off of your head. You turn around without hesitance to find the culprit, only to be met with Jake Sim’s infectious grin. 

“There’s that pretty face.” 

“I’m going to hit you by accident one day,” you huff, pausing your music to face him. 

“I missed you too,” Jake says sarcastically, bending down to hug your shoulders when you scowl at him. “How was your summer?” 

“Pretty good,” is all you offer him as he pulls away. “How was being back home in Australia? I’m sure your brother liked having you back.” 

“Quite the opposite but I think he loves me deep down,” he jokes. “Missed you guys, though.” 

You peek over Jake’s shoulder to see the rest of his friends, the very ones you met the same night you reconnected with Sunghoon. 

It was natural the way you became friends with them too. Despite Sunghoon’s attention being on you during that night in January, his friends pried him off of you with the hopes of getting to know the pretty young thing that caught their friend’s attention. When they found out you knew him back in his high school days, it was like the floodgates opened and new friendships blossomed that night. 

“Hey,” you say fondly, opening your arms to engulf Jay in a hug first. Heeseung follows suit and gives you an extra squeeze. Sunghoon stands behind the former with his hands in his pockets when you approach. 

But he doesn’t hug you like his friends do. Instead, Sunghoon tucks you in his side for a quick hug before letting you go. 

Your heart sinks but you’re quick to smile at him and shift your focus back to the rest of the guys. It stings a little, considering his friends who hadn’t seen you in a few months greeted you the way you hoped Sunghoon would. 

You settle back into your seat when Jay sits in front of you and when Jake takes off his backpack. 

“Oh, you guys are staying?” you ask. 

“You don’t mind, do you?” Jay asks. “We have all day to kill.” 

“Not at all! I could use the company. Yuna and Ryujin just left for class.” 

“Say less, princess. Your knights in shining armor are here to save you.” Jake’s words have you shaking your head in disapproval but he throws his head back in laughing before knocking your shoulder with his. “It’s good to have you back.” 

“So did you guys do anything fun when you were back home?” Heeseung asks you and Sunghoon. “Y/N, you worked a summer job, right?”

“Mhm. That part wasn’t too exciting but a job’s a job.” 

“What about the rest of your summer?” 

You tilt your head towards him. “It was great.” 

Sunghoon doesn’t say anything and merely gives you a quick smile before pulling out his own laptop and setting it in front of him. The lump in your throat grows, especially as you look at Sunghoon and will him to look back at you. But he doesn’t. Instead, he tells Jay his coffee order when he offers to buy everyone coffee. 

The five of you remain like that for the next two hours with your noses deep in your assignments and projects. You steal glances at Sunghoon and see that he doesn’t meet your gaze, which confuses you.

you: you you doing okay? you seem kinda quiet 

From the corner of your eye, you watch Sunghoon read your text. 

sunghoon: Yeah I’m alright. Didn’t get a lot of sleep this week :/ 

you: i’m sorry ): hopefully you can get some sleep soon

sunghoon: Hahah yeah I hope so

He returns his attention to the screen in front of him without glancing in your direction. It makes the pit in your stomach sink deeper than before and although he’s given you a reason as to why he’s aloof, the voice in the back of your head tells you to worry. 

But there’s nothing you can do right now, not when his best friends are sitting next to him and certainly not when they’re including you in their conversations. They tell you about their respective summers and how much they looked forward to coming back for one last year before everybody parts ways. 

It warms you on the inside to know you’re being treated like an equal by Sunghoon’s friends. They’re people you know through friends of friends and would only see at parties on the weekends. You were a little surprised to see Jake approach you in a friendly manner because you hadn’t spoken to him since the last week of your third year, only communicating on Instagram when one of you would reply to the other.  

Jay and Heeseung are the same, too. This is the first time you’ve hung out with them when alcohol isn’t involved and you’re scared at how normal this feels, especially when Sunghoon sits across from you but doesn’t make an effort to add anything of substance into the conversation. 

The five of you part ways with Heeseung telling you not to become a stranger this year. You promised him you won’t, but the confused feeling resurfaces when Sunghoon merely waves at you as his friends hug you goodbye. 

You have a bad feeling. 

When the semester drags on, you keep your word and greet them in passing or entertain their rambunctious nature when they include you from time to time. You see Jake the most, as most of his classes are in the same building or the surrounding area in conjunction to yours. He keeps you company in between classes from time to time and you’ve developed a good system where you meet him for lunch in the cafeteria between your class periods and wait for the other guys to join. 

Sunghoon doesn’t text you as much as you’d like him to and it feels silly to expect him to pay attention to you as much as he did over the summer. But you can’t help your yearning, not when he looks criminally good when you see him walking throughout campus.

Communication between the two of you had died down quicker than you realize. After the first few weeks of setting in, Sunghoon texted you less and less with you being the one to initiate the conversation. He would like your Instagram posts and stories from time to time and text you about things your now-mutual friends would invite you to. But that was the basis of your conversations nowadays. 

Two months have passed and you’re confused. 

You respond to his stories as well, especially when he posts with your friends. You try not to read into it when you see girls you know posting Sunghoon on their stories either. They’re innocuous and it’s never just him alone in the frame, but Sunghoon will repost them onto his account and it leaves you wondering if there was any space for you in his life. 

The same phenomenon from high school follows him to university, except his life is not consumed by figure skating anymore. The girls are still fawning over him because of his charm and good looks. People still want to be his friend because he’s wickedly good at soccer even though he’s not on the team. The fraternity he and the other guys are in, often throw parties to celebrate random happenings and use it as an excuse to socialize with people. You see him hanging out with people you don’t know while you wait for a text back. 

The worst part is that you prepared yourself for this outcome but willed yourself to believe it wouldn’t come true. The two weeks you spent worrying about what life would be like once you came back to university was a premonition for how awfully alone you’d feel seeing Sunghoon having fun while you distracted yourself with your studies and your own friends. 

Even Jake, who you don’t know as well as you know Sunghoon, made a small comment about how odd it was that you and Sunghoon hadn’t hung out much. He remembers his friend being smitten by you back in January and figured the two of you must’ve spent a lot of time together when you went back home. You confirmed just as much, leaving out your bedroom trysts when you talked about your summer with Sunghoon. 

It hurts when you realize you’ve become the type of person you promised yourself you’d never be; you wait by your phone to see if Sunghoon texts you outside of the group chat you’ve found yourself in with the other guys and anticipate whatever he might post on social media. You can’t blame people for being interested in Sunghoon either. He’s wickedly good looking and can charm anyone without lifting a finger. It’s unfair the way he can move on with his life without worrying too much about what other people think. 

You wonder if he thinks about you at all. Communication fizzles out until it’s a few texts here and there. You hear from him mostly through that shared group chat but you don’t talk all that much to begin with. It’s mostly the guys joking with each other and you reacting until one of them says something so out of pocket that it prompts a response from you. You’re still navigating how to act around them now that Sunghoon hasn’t paid much attention to you for the months and a half that you’ve been back at school. 

Sometimes you think about how jarring it would look like to people from your hometown if they saw you and Sunghoon together over the summer. You were much more introverted and kept to yourself for the most part back when you were in high school. You were always too shy to make the first move and instead chose to watch people as they made harmless teenage mistakes, watching friendships fail and relationships blossom. 

Coming to university made you rethink your whole approach to life. It encouraged your go-getter attitude and the belief that you’re more capable than you think. It’s why you’ve made more friends in the past four years than you did in the first eighteen years of your life. It’s also why you didn’t shy away from Sunghoon in January despite knowing you used to have the biggest crush on him back when you were seat mates. 

To you, Sunghoon is still that sweet boy who works hard to make people proud of him. He’s that good-hearted, kind person who only wants what’s best for him and his loved ones. He’s not someone you expect to be a local community hero or somebody to put on a pedestal for no reason. Sunghoon has always been your neighbor, one you’ve seen in his good and bad days. 

Brushing you off like you two hadn’t spent the summer twisted in bedsheets makes you feel disappointed and unwanted. 

Jake invites you to his fraternity’s party on Saturday night and you tell him you’ll go. If not because your friend invited you to something he’s passionate about, then definitely because you need a distraction that isn’t academic related. 

He tells you to bring Yuna and Ryujin. The three of you are dressed appropriately and bask in the cooler weather now that the hottest months of the summer are over. The three of you hail an Uber and head over with a few shots of soju each, leaving you pleasantly buzzed with the ability to walk without stumbling. 

The party itself is in full swing when you arrive, as to be expected. Jake meets you at the door and lets you in himself. You almost forget how well known he is because of how painfully normal he seems when he’s not drinking. But walking with him means you witness stranger after stranger come up to him like he’s an old friend they hadn’t seen in years. You assume he knows them all. 

“You guys need a drink,” he says. “What do you like? We have beer, seltzer, and hard alcohol if you want?” 

“I’ll take a seltzer and Yuna will take a beer,” says Ryujin. 

“I’ll do a seltzer too,” you say. Jake fishes for them in the cooler and hands them to you all respectively. “I can’t believe you know this many people.”

“Eh, I know them, give or take. I used to be more active in the frat but physics has been kicking my ass lately,” Jake explains. “This is the first time I’ve had in a while to plan one of these things. It feels good.” 

“You really know how to throw a party, Sim Jaeyun,” Yuna says as she tips her beer bottle towards him. “As long as we get in for free, I couldn’t care less.” 

“You guys will always get in for free,” Jake promises with a salute. “Scout’s honor.” 

“You used to be a boy scout?” Ryujin asks over the music. Jake laughs and shakes his head, assuming she had the most to drink prior to arriving. 

Jake leads you to another room where he says the other guys are hanging out. Jay’s the first to see you, Yuna, and Ryujin, and offers his seat on the couch for one of you. Heeseung gives you a friendly hug when Ryujin happily takes Jay’s former seat as Jake steals your attention to catch up with you from the past week before you notice a girl sitting on Sunghoon’s lap. 

Time itself feels like it’s moving in slow motion when you see them from the corner of your eye. She’s perched on his knee as she talks animatedly to another person you don’t recognize and Sunghoon’s arm is lazily draped over her waist. Your heart sinks, especially when it doesn't register to him that you’ve walked into the room. 

Jake seems to notice how closed off you’ve become when your answers start to slow down. You try not to notice his worried eyes when they dart between you and Sunghoon, but he puts two and two together when you refuse to meet his gaze. 

He maneuvers so that his body is blocking your view and the only person you can focus on is him. You appreciate Jake even if your body language doesn’t convey that at this second. You see Yuna and Ryujin come to the same realization a few seconds later and share a look with the two girls before letting your disappointment wash over you. 

“Hey,” Jake says gently, knocking his bottle with your can. “Don’t look at him.” 

“It’s really hard not to when he’s the only person who has a girl sitting in his lap.” 

“True, but you’re not having fun and it’s only making you upset.” 

You tilt your head in confusion. “But that’s your best friend?”

“One who’s making my other friend feel upset,” he tells you. “We all had a feeling you two were more than just friends, you know. Neither of you are really good at hiding how you feel.” 

“That bad, huh?” 

Jake laughs but shakes his head. “Not really, honestly. It’s cute the way you care for him. No one talks about Sunghoon the way you do.” 

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or offended.” 

“You talk about him like he’s a person with faults, Y/N. I don’t get the feeling that he was an ex-skating protege or the campus’ best looking student when you talk about him.” 

“Well, he is those things,” you mumble in annoyance. 

“Sure,” Jake laughs, “but it’s much more than that. Sunghoon used to tell us about how he’d see you on your balcony when he came home from skating practice, you know. You were always doing something like reading a book or staring at the sky. Hoon said he always wondered what you were thinking.” 

“That is awfully kind of him to say considering he has another girl in his lap,” you sigh. “This feels so childish. I knew whatever happened over the summer was meant to end when we got back to university but I had this idea in my head that it wouldn’t.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jake apologizes. “He’s my friend but so are you. It’s unfair.” 

“This is definitely too depressing of a conversation to have at a party,” you say with an awkward laugh. “You didn’t invite me to hear me bitch and moan.” 

“No, but I’m always down for one. Invite me over the next time you, Ryujin, and Yuna have a bitching session. God knows I need one.” 

“I’ll pencil you in.” 

When you regroup and are introduced to the girl on Sunghoon’s lap, you aren’t sure what’s supposed to hurt more—Sunghoon barely acknowledging you beyond a lazy wave or this girl being an absolute sweetheart who definitely didn’t know you and Sunghoon hooked up for months over the summer.

She’s kind and includes you and your friends in the conversation, catching you up on what you missed before arriving. She’s considerate and explains inside jokes she has with the people around you when they’re brought up in conversation and it makes your heart fall when you realize just how perfect and normal she is. 

You’re not sure whether she’s a girl Sunghoon met just now or has known for a while. You don’t know if he’s going home with her or if this is more than just a one time thing. What you do know, however, is Jake has given you the perfect environment to distract yourself from the awful feeling you get when you see how his chin is tucked on this girl’s shoulder. 

It’s Jake who promises Yuna and Ryujin to watch over you tonight. The girls keep their drinking to a minimum too, just to make sure you get home safely. You down shot after shot when Heeseung or Jay hand you alcohol and mingle with the people around you, forcing yourself to seem more outgoing than you are to prevent yourself from thinking about Sunghoon. 

The worst part is that he doesn’t seem to care that you’re here or that you’re not walking to him. He’s too preoccupied with his personal company and all of his focus is on her, just like it was on you all those months ago. It makes you sick to your stomach and although you’re incredibly wasted, you stop yourself from ingesting anymore alcohol when Yuna suggests it’s time to go back home.

Jake is kind enough to drive the three of you back when he’s sobered up. He walks the three of you into the apartment building and makes sure you’re safe inside the apartment. Jake makes Yuna and Ryujin promise to update him on how you’re holding up over the weekend and leaves to go back to the party after he squeezes your hand and tells you goodbye. 

Your friends help you get ready for bed and the last image before you close your eyes is the way Sunghoon looked at that girl, wishing it was you instead.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

“We should set you up on a date.” 

Ryujin barges into your bedroom where you’re sitting cross-legged over your desk with assignments so sprawled over the surface. It’s been a few weeks since the party and you haven’t made an effort to reach out to Sunghoon, muting his social media from your feed and only hearing from him when he chimes in the group chat. 

“He’s a great guy and you guys have pretty similar personalities. It hit me when we were hanging out earlier today but if you’re in, I’ll set everything up!”

Ryujin lets you scroll through his Instagram feed and you’re feeling more hopeful and excited than you have since the semester began. The guy is cute enough that you don’t feel immediately turned off by him and he seems to have a fun, outgoing personality. Ryujin’s a little stunned when you agree off the bat, having expected a little pushback, but you’re tired of feeling second best when it comes to love and romance. 

Ryujin gives this guy your number and tells you that he should be the one reaching out. You listen when she tells you to relinquish that desire to date and rush yourself into meeting up with him if you don’t match well over text. She’s right, as per usual. 

This guy texts you at a respectable hour and keeps your conversations interesting. He makes you laugh and asks you interesting questions that immediately reel you in. You find yourself thinking about Sunghoon less when you talk to him about your own passions and as you get to know him. 

In fact, you’re a bit perplexed at how well the two of you seem to get along in just a few short days. You’ve talked on the phone a few times and have seen each other in passing when you pick up Ryujin from their shared class before heading home. It’s enough familiarity to agree when he asks you to go out with him the following Saturday. 

It still hurts to think about Sunghoon, but this guy has provided a distraction that makes you think your feelings for the former may truly be gone. Maybe you really did only like him for the summer and didn’t get the closer you needed to move on. Maybe this was that closure. 

Saturday comes around and you both agree to meet at a ramen house close to your apartment. Yuna tells you it’s best to meet him there in case you’re not having fun and need a reason to leave. You take her advice and double check that your lip gloss looks good and that all hairs are in place before saying goodbye, promising to update them when you come home. 

You get to the ramen shop fifteen minutes early out of sheer nervousness and rationalize that you’d rather wait for him instead of risk being late. The air is cool enough that you keep your jacket on.

Only, you end up waiting longer than you’d like.

People walk past you but none of them are the person you’re waiting for. You grow more irritable and anxious altogether, checking your phone to see if there are any texts in his end that you neglected to see earlier. But you see nothing. 

After ten minutes past when he was supposed to meet you arrives, you text and ask him where he is. When another ten minutes passes, you call and leave a voicemail. You don’t know why you waited a full forty five minutes for him before deciding that it wasn’t worth it. Being rejected without knowing why for the second time has unlocked the deep insecurity of not being good enough, one you kept hidden from the surface. 

Fresh tears spring to your eyes and you wipe them away quickly to avoid crying in public. The shame you feel is weighing on you heavily. It seems childish to experience this level of annoyance and you refrain from sending a lengthy paragraph with less than favorable things to say. 

It all leads back to the nagging feeling of not being good enough for people to keep around. It’s almost as if you’re a liability of sorts, wandering around and hoping that who you are is enough to give others peace. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when you hear someone calling your name. 

“Y/N, is that you?” 

You turn around to see Jake squinting and walking towards you. He smiles when he can see you standing in front of him and leans to give you a loose hug, initially too excited to have run into you to notice you’d been crying. When you pull away from him, Jake sees a tear fall from your eye and immediately pulls you back towards him. 

“Woah, woah,” Jake says when you stumble into his chest. He secures you between his arms as you pathetically let your tears fall onto his jacket. He looks down at your crying figure and feels his heart ache. “What happened, Y/N? Are you hurt?”

You shake your head and lift yourself from his chest, roughly pushing underneath your eyes to rid yourself of your tears. You’re sure some of your eyeliner has smudged and your makeup is ruined, and the thought of Jake watching you cry on a public sidewalk makes you feel pathetic.

“You’re not hurt,” he guesses when you move your head from left to right. He puts his hands on your shoulders and bends to look at you. “But you’re crying.” 

“I’m fine,” you lie. “I’m just gonna go home.”  

“Not when you’re like this,” he says. “What’s going on, Y/N?” 

“I had a stupid date with a stupid guy, and he stood me up without telling me why he couldn’t make it.” 

“That fucking blows.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“He didn’t give you a reason either? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you sigh. “I think I’m just done with this whole dating bit until I get my life together. I’m exhausted, Jake.” 

He nods. “That guy sucks. I hope he doesn’t wake up tomorrow.” 

“You and me both.” 

“That’s the most un-gentlemanly thing a guy could do. Why bother asking you out if he’s not going to show up?” 

“You’re asking all the right questions but I’m too upset to even think right now, and I’m hungry but all I have in my kitchen is leftovers that I don’t want to eat.” 

The frustration eats at your chest and you feel an impending tantrum rising. Jake can only look at you with sympathetic eyes as you shake from the cool breeze. But he shakes his head when you suggest going back home and offers his arm out to you.

“Screw him. I’ll take you out on a date tonight since you were promised one.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “A date? Jake…”

“Come on,” he says with a friendly smile. “It won’t mean anything. You deserve to go on a mind blowing date after, well, everything.” 

“What makes you think you have what it takes to take me on a mind blowing date?” you ask as you loop your arm with his. 

“Because I, Sim Jaeyun, know how to impress girls.” He laughs at his own joke and ushers you inside the restaurant before flagging down a waiter to be seated. “But really, I like being friends with you and I hate seeing you sad.” 

“You’re definitely climbing the ranks in this totally imaginary friendship ladder,” you tell him. The waiter leads you both to an empty table and Jake pulls out your chair for you before bowing dramatically.

“Your seat, madam.”

“Thank you, kind sir.” 

He laughs and pride swells in his chest when he sees you laughing. Jake has gathered bits and pieces about your summer with Sunghoon between the two of you. He’s not as close with you as he is with the former, but the blossoming friendship since that night you two first met has him thinking you might be someone who he wants around for the long run.

It’s why Jake finds himself irritated at Sunghoon for ignoring you in the first place. He tries to bring you up in conversation subtly, mentioning your name or what you’ve been up to in passing. Jay and Heeseung are quick to take the bait and talk about you candidly like they would with any of their other friends but Sunghoon always remains quiet and stoic. It doesn’t help that Jake remembers the crestfallen look on your face the night his friend let another girl sit on his lap.

Jake can’t guess why this seemingly perfect summer ended so abruptly. Sunghoon was full of hope during his time away from university and often talked about how happy he was to be back home. He mentioned being with you a few times but Jake and the rest of the guys had a sneaking suspicion that you were the one making his last summer before graduating, one to remember. 

But now, you sit in front of him with your hair done and an outfit that he’s never seen you wear to campus before. You look like an angel under the artificial lighting as you talk animatedly about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you. Jake almost feels sorry for Sunghoon. It could very well be him sitting in front of you instead if he hadn’t ignored you. 

The two of you make the fifteen minute walk back to Jake’s apartment after he tells you it’ll be just him until the following evening. He says that Jay and Heeseung are taking a weekend trip but doesn’t know what Sunghoon is up to, although you suspect that he’s with the girl from the party. 

You try not to dwell on it when you enter his apartment. The living area is much cleaner than you anticipated it to be. There’s artwork and posters lining the walls and Jake lets you look around when he grabs two bottles of soju. 

“I’m in desperate need of a bitch-fest and I know you are too,” Jake says as he beckons you to sit on the couch. “This is a judgment-free zone, okay? Whatever you say won’t be repeated.” 

“That’s a tempting offer but I still need to go home later.” 

Jake shrugs. “You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to.” You don’t contemplate it for a second. 

“Screw it.” 

You take one bottle from Jake and unscrew the cap, chugging a quarter of the liquid before handing it back to him. He doesn’t say anything before tipping his head back to do the same. 

“Sometimes I feel like everyone has this expectation of me that I can’t fulfill,” Jake starts. “I mean, I know I’m on the soccer team and all of that shit, but people expect me to be this all-rounder who knows what I’m gonna do in life. I don’t know anything.” 

“That sucks. I can’t imagine why that many people think that they know what’s best for you.” 

“Everyone tells me to go pro. Without fail, every single game ends with someone telling me to jump the gun and go for it. But I don’t play soccer for fame, you know? It’s exhausting and I hate that I’m losing my passion for it.” 

“I’m sorry, Jake.” The two of you sip on the alcohol until a nice buzz has formed. He watches you pout and he refrains from cooing at you. “I think people need to shut the fuck up forever.” 

“Amen.” 

“I didn’t know you felt that way. Seriously, Jake, I’m sorry people make you feel like you have to be somebody you don’t want to be.” 

“People think it’s stupid that I want to pursue a career in astrophysics but it’s what I love and it’s what I’m good at. I’m waiting on acceptance letters for grad schools across the country but nobody seems to give a shit about that.” 

Your heart aches for him. Jake feels your head rest in his shoulder and he rests his own head on top of yours. 

“People think they know what’s good for you based on their own delusions about who you are,” you say. 

“I love my team and I love soccer but lately I haven’t been looking forward to going to practice or the games. I hate that it feels like it’s weighing me down.” 

“Do you know what you’re gonna do?” 

He shakes his head. “Not really. I get in the zone when we have a game but the aftermath is just…wondering what I’m going to do when it’s all over. I want to keep playing but not if it means I lose my passion for the sport.” 

“Well, that makes a lot of sense. I’d hate to see you lose passion for the thing that makes you happiest.” 

“Me too. Now you go,” Jake beckons after a moment of silence. “I feel like I just ripped my heart out and put it in your hands.” You steal the bottle from Jake’s hands and he motions to open a new one as you finish the last of the liquid. 

“I’m going to feel really stupid for saying all of this so please promise you won’t make fun of me.” Jake rubs your arm with the hand around your shoulder. 

“I would never, Y/N.” 

You sigh. “Sometimes it feels like everything for me is an ‘almost.’ It just seems like the universe has it out for me and won’t let me be happy because everything I’ve ever wanted keeps getting ripped away just when I think it’s in reach. 

“This stupid date is a first. I feel so fucking humiliated and I hate that I waited as long as I did just for him to not text me or let me know he wasn’t coming. It makes me feel like some sort of pathetic excuse of a human being that he couldn’t give me the decency to give me a heads up.”

“He’s fucked up for that, Y/N. I mean it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it, okay?” 

“Thanks, Jake. This whole Sunghoon thing too…I’ll admit that I’m hurt. Sue me. It was shitty to ghost me and pretend I don’t exist. It’s fucking cowardly not to end it with me face-to-face. But mostly, I feel so fucking ashamed that I even fell for him in the first place.”

“What do you mean?” 

You sink deeper into Jake’s side. “Sunghoon has always attracted attention wherever he goes. Back in high school, everyone thought he was untouchable because he competed in skating competitions and had to miss school to appear on TV. 

But to me, he was just my neighbor who struggled to wake up in the morning or someone I’d see come home late at night after everyone had eaten dinner. It was so weird to me back then, to see someone as young as him do what he did.”

Jake leans the other bottle towards you and you take a long sip. 

“I wanted to be friends with him so bad, Jake. He was so funny without even trying. All the guys and girls in school would laugh because they wanted to be his friend but I thought he had such a unique sense of humor. And he’s way smarter than people gave him credit for. I don’t know how he managed to be a professional skater and a student at the same time.

Then we bumped into each other at that party after three years of not seeing each other. Sunghoon is more confident than he was when we were kids. I think I am too. It was weird talking to him about our hometown when we barely talked, but it felt like we lived the same life.” 

“So why do you feel ashamed?” 

You bite your lip. “I had the biggest crush on him when I was sixteen. We shared only one class together and instead of a final, our teacher said we could have a small holiday party and have secret Santas. Sunghoon picked my name out of the bunch and he gifted me two things—a vinyl of my favorite album and guitar picks.” 

Jake nudges you. “You play guitar?” 

“I remember telling him how shocked I was because the budget was twenty dollars. But Sunghoon said he was at the mall with his friends when he saw this vinyl in the local record store and had to buy it. He told me he was originally just going to give me the guitar picks, but he remembered that all I could talk about before class started was how excited I was for it to come out.” 

“Wow…that’s a pretty sentimental gift.” 

“I was so touched that he did that and remembered something about me. It felt like the first time I was seen by people who weren’t my parents. That turned into a big, fat crush on Sunghoon that ended when he started dating the most popular girl in school at the time. It made sense, you know. Both of them were prom king and queen and that dumb tradition reminded me that I have more to live for than waiting for a boy to like me back.

But then summer happened. It was like I was sixteen all over again and my feelings for Sunghoon never went away. I ran into him getting coffee and we ended up talking for an hour at the coffee shop before we went back to my place. The rest of the summer is history.” 

Jake drinks from the bottle. “Sunghoon was your first love, wasn’t he?”

You groan into your hands. “Don’t remind me.” 

“He’s not on my good side either, babe. Lately he’s been on edge, I guess. He’s more irritable, too. Sunghoon’s short with us and it’s driving me crazy.”

“Seems like he’s the common denominator.”

You drink from the bottle. “I don’t base my value on whether or not I’m dating but…it always feels like I’m losing. It feels like I’m constantly placing second and it kills me that I have to experience this all over again.” 

Jake doesn’t say anything for a while and your buzz is starting to increase. He pulls you in for another hug and sits like that for a good moment until he’s sure you won’t cry again.

“Life is unfair but at least we have soju.” 

You snort. “You got that right. Didn’t you say you guys had a karaoke machine? I think we need to do something that’s not depressing.” 

“When I get the highest score, you better not complain.” 

Jake excuses himself to get more drinks from the kitchen and takes the liberty to text Yuna and Ryujin about what happened that night and that you’ll probably stay over at his place after consuming so much alcohol. They thank him for letting them know and Jake pockets his phone, hoping that the hurt in your soul will disappear when you wake up.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

It’s two in the morning when Sunghoon comes home unexpectedly.

Jake notices him after the floor creaks under his footsteps and switches his eyes from the television screen to his friend. You fell asleep an hour ago and he didn’t have the heart to wake up, nor drive you back to your place because of the alcohol left in his system. Instead, Jake put a blanket over your body and let you lie your head on the armrest. 

Sunghoon looks between you and Jake. He doesn’t know what to make of it and takes his shoes off to delay the conversation he knows is imminent.

“I thought you were with that girl,” Jake mutters, not bothering to glance at Sunghoon, who is now standing close to him. 

“I couldn’t do it,” Sunghoon tells him. 

“Hm?”

“I said I couldn’t do it. She was kissing me and tried to take my shirt off and I couldn’t go through with it.”

Jake nods. “Okay.”

“Okay…”

“You should probably go to bed. It’s two A.M.” Sunghoon looks at Jake quizzically. 

“Alright? Why is Y/N here?” 

“That’s none of your business,” Jake says with a clipped tone.

“It is my business if she’s in my apartment.” 

“Our apartment.”

“Sure, whatever.” 

Jake’s mouth quirks slightly. “Y/N and I were just hanging out.”

“The two of you, hanging out in the apartment. Right.”

“Why’s that so hard to believe?”

Sunghoon pushes his irritation down. “You guys don’t seem like the type to hang out without the rest of us.”

“I bumped into her tonight and we ended up coming back here and getting drunk. No biggie.”

“You guys got drunk, alone?”

“Why? Is there a problem?”

Sunghoon feels taken aback by Jake’s attitude. He wants to throw it back in his face and ask his friend why he’s acting the way he is, but your sleeping figure prevents him from raising his voice. It’s late and he’s tired, and all he wants to do is figure out if you and Jake are involved. He sticks around for another minute, trying to think of someone to say without tipping Jake off. He balances on both legs, awkwardly shuffling around until Jake sighs loudly.

“We’re not seeing each other.”

Sunghoon chokes, causing Jake to roll his eyes. “W-What?” 

“Y/N and I aren’t hooking up.”

“I didn’t think you were.”

“Sure you weren’t,” Jake smirks, turning his attention back to the TV screen. “You’ve been standing there like an idiot trying to figure out how to talk to me about this.”

“Well…okay then. Good.”

“Good?”

Sunghoon panics. “Yeah. She doesn’t deserve more heartbreak.” Jake laughs and shakes his head, biting his tongue to prevent what he wants to say from tumbling out. 

“That’s rich coming from you, Sunghoon. You of all people don’t get to talk about what Y/N deserves. You’ve been a coward this entire semester and didn’t have the balls to cut it off with her in person.”

“Jake, I—”

“This is the first time I’ve seen you act like a child, bro. You ignore your feelings and then get mad when you see her with me. Which is it? Do you like her or not?”

“It’s not that simple. I just—”

“You just what? Throw away a good thing and ruin it? Ignore the only person in your life who knows you inside and out?”

“I’m afraid that she only likes me because everybody else used to,” Sunghoon confessed. “I’m scared that Y/N doesn’t give two shits about me other than the career I had and where my life is going.” 

Jake scoffs. “I love you, man, but your head is so far up your ass right now. Y/N is the only person who cares about you for the reasons you want. She’s the only person who’s never seen you like some sort of prize to be won and you threw that all away for what exactly? For a girl you barely know?” 

“She’s no one.”

“Precisely,” says Jake. “You keep deluding yourself into thinking all of these girls you meet are perfect for you but you’re self sabotaging. Who’s to say those girls give a fuck about you?” 

Sunghoon remains quiet and allows Jake to be angry at him because he knows he deserves it. He never intended to hurt you. Seeing you stop looking for his eyes at parties or ignoring him when you see him in passing makes Sunghoon believe you’ve stopped trying with him, just like he did with you.

It hurts to know that there’s a possibility of you moving on from him. It’s strange to think you could live a life without him in it because this past summer has taught him how loved he could feel and how he could have it all if he really wanted it. But the happiness and worry-free vacation scared him into oblivion with the recollection that everyone who has ever loved him, has now left.

But not you. You were there for Sunghoon in his youth without him knowing it and you were there for him when he needed a reminder that his life could be more than outgrowing expectations. Sunghoon ran away from it because it felt foreign, and now he’s understanding the weight of his actions when he sees you comfortably sleeping next to his best friend.

“I’m not going to kick Y/N out tonight, by the way. She’s been asleep for an hour and I’m not gonna disrupt her,” Jake says, bringing Sunghoon out of his thoughts. “It’s probably best if you stay in your room until she leaves tomorrow morning.”

He nods and looks at your still figure on the edge of the couch. He wants to see you up close like he did over the summertime and kiss the worry from your pout, but he refrains. Instead, Sunghoon whispers goodnight to the two of you and disappears into the hallway.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

Sunghoon builds the courage to talk to you when he wakes up the next morning and sees the living room empty. He’s not sure if Jake told you about him arriving earlier than expected. Honestly, he’s not sure what he’s hoping for. 

He prays for a moment to get you alone and that you’ll hear him out. Knowing you were so close but out of his grasp makes Sunghoon’s heart fall to his chest. It feels like a constant battle between what he wants and what he thinks is good for him based on unsavory experiences from his youth. But you’re not just another person to him. 

Sunghoon breaks it off with the girl from the party and he’s more than shocked when she tells him there aren’t any hard feelings. But she says she always noticed the far away look in his eyes and assumed he was still hung up on somebody else in the meantime. Sunghoon apologizes until he feels like it’s enough. 

When he sees you standing outside of the local convenience store by your apartment in the middle of the night, Sunghoon knows it’s time for him to stop being a coward. 

“Y/N,” he says when he approaches. 

You look perfect underneath ungodly fluorescent lights, so much so that he thinks it’s unfair how good you look. The basket in your hand is filled with a few items and Sunghoon is immediately transported to all the nights where the two of you would make midnight runs for late night snacks. It tugs at his heart strings and he wants to turn back time at this moment.

You look at him like you’ve seen a ghost. He knows he’s the last person you expected to run into tonight. It’s clear by the way you’ve taken a step back, carefully dropping a bag of chips in your basket.

“What do you want?” 

Sunghoon tries not to wince at your cold tone.

“Can we talk?”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Alright,” he says. “I deserve that.” 

You sigh. “You have until I finish shopping to talk.” 

Sunghoon wastes no time and stands beside you at a respectable distance to avoid making you feel uncomfortable. You scan the aisles and he realizes you’re taking your time when he remembers that you know this store like the back of your hand. 

“I’m sorry,” Sunghoon begins. “I’m sorry for ghosting you after our summer together. It was shitty on my part to ignore you and then have you see me with another girl.” 

“Is that all?” you asked him with a clipped tone. “Is that really what you wanted to tell me?” 

“No,” he rebukes, swallowing harshly. “You deserve that apology at the least. I don’t know why I did it. I guess a lot of my fears about holding people close scared the shit out of me because everyone leaves eventually and I was scared that you’d be one of them.

“I know it was fucked up not to talk to you about this before we came back to school. I could tell something was bothering you but I was so selfish and tried to convince myself that we’d be okay once we left home. I’m so fucking sorry for ignoring you and making you feel like you weren’t worth my time, Y/N. But I’m here to tell you that I’m so in love with you and that I’m so, so fucking sorry.” 

You stop in your tracks and shut your eyes. He watches you breathe in and holds his breath. Sunghoon’s hands are shaking and his heartbeat feels like it’s running as fast as a bullet train when you turn around to face him. When you open your eyes, all he can see is disappointment. 

“You were everything to me, you know? Back in grade school, everyone used to talk about you like you were a God but I was the only person who talked to you like a human being. I know you know that. I was the only person your age who didn’t make you feel like you had to meet expectations. 

When we reconnected over the summer, it felt like I was struck by lightning, or something. God, I had the biggest crush on you when we were in high school but you never looked at me like that because I wasn’t one of the girls who was popular enough to be seen with you. But I know we were all caught up in stereotypes and childish behavior. I don’t blame you for that.”

Sunghoon follows you to another aisle.

“Then summer happened. You treated me like your girlfriend and you talked about the future like I was going to be part of it. You messed with my head when you’d hold me in public and kiss me when we had sex. You confused me when you stopped texting me and when you decided to hookup with some girl without breaking it off with me. I don’t give a shit if you didn’t like me back. The decent thing to do would’ve been to tell me you wanted to stop whatever it was we had.

I feel so fucking humiliated to think you could’ve ever reciprocated my feelings for you. I hate that I let you back into my life just for you to treat me the way you did. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough for you and I don’t want to feel like that anymore.” 

“But I love you,” Sunghoon croaks with tears forming in his eyes. 

“Well, it’s too late for that.” 

You walk to the cashier without looking behind you. Sunghoon feels frozen on his ground but sees your figure becoming smaller before he rushes to stand next to you and pull out his wallet.

“Paying for my shit won’t fix this.” 

“I know,” Sunghoon says softly while he hands the cashier his credit card. “Just let me. Please.” 

You don’t intervene. You don’t say anything when he steps out of the store with you or when he offers to walk you home because it’s dark out and you know it’s a ten minute journey. You don’t say anything when the wind blows renders you cold, but you decline when Sunghoon offers your jacket. 

“Thanks for walking me,” you say when you reach your front door. “Sunghoon, I want to believe that you’re sorry and you regret what you did, but that doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of this back and forth. It’s time we both move on, don’t you think?”

His mouth feels dry and Sunghoon thinks he might shatter into a million pieces in front of you. He feels his heart breaking when you turn around to unlock your door and when you don’t spare him a glance as you walk inside. Sunghoon stays with his mouth slightly ajar as he stares at your front door, replaying your words in his head. 

With a heavy heart, Sunghoon begins to walk home and lets his tears fall until his vision becomes blurry.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

“Now you know I’m not one to give men the benefit of the doubt, but Jake says he can hear Sunghoon crying in his room every night.”

Ryujin and Yuna sit on your bed while you’re sitting on the chair at your desk. They pick at the pillows decorating the mattress while you kick your feet up and place them on top of the blanket.

“And, as we know, Sunghoon doesn’t cry,” says Yuna.

“Serves him right,” you say. You don’t deny that it makes your heart hurt for him, but your anger and pride prevent you from expressing any sadness for Sunghoon.

“Based on what you told us, it really sounded like Sunghoon’s apology came from the bottom of his heart and it wasn’t a cop out to make himself feel better.” Yuna hugs your pillow closer to her. “It’s clear that you two still love each other.”

“But it doesn’t matter, Yuna. Not when the thought of ghosting me crossed his mind. It hurts to know that there was even a time when Sunghoon thought I wasn’t worth keeping around.” 

“We can all agree he was a fucking idiot but there’s a reason why he’s crying every night and why he didn’t make up excuses when you told him how you felt,” says Ryujin. “That’s gotta count for something.”

“Jesus, you two must really believe him if you’re saying all of this.”

Yuna shrugs. “Obviously we don’t know him as well as you do but we know him well enough. What he did was terrible, no doubt about that. But it’s been weeks since you guys saw each other and you’re both so miserable.”

“Hey!” you shout, plucking an eraser off of your desk and flinging it at her. “I’m not miserable.”

“Sure,” Ryujin snorts. “There’s no use in lying to us when you know we’ll call you out.” She smiles in satisfaction when you huff. 

“We’re not saying you need to marry him or even absolve what he did,” Yuna advises. “But we both know you’re not moving on from him. You’re hurt and we get that but you’ve loved him all your life. That feeling will never go away.”

“What if he hurts me again?” you ask. “What if he decides that he’s going to stop communicating with me because I’m not what he wants anymore?” 

“The man told you he was in love with you in front of strangers in a convenience store,” Yuna deadpans. “Even if he does decide it’s over, you’ll be strong and you’ll know how to stand your ground.”

“If you don’t go for it, you’ll know how it’ll end. But come on, Y/N. You’re so in love with Sunghoon that you still yearn for him even after you told him to move on from you. Don’t you think you deserve to be happy too?” 

You bite your lip. Ryujin and Yuna look at you with all the love and care in the world, and for a moment you wonder if Sunghoon has ever looked at you like that. 

Ryujin speaks. “Again, you know I’m the last person to vouch for a man, but this is Sunghoon. He’s the guy you love more than life and someone who will never be able to move on from you.” 

“You have to realize that,” Yuna says. “You’re everything to him.” 

“I don’t know.”

“But you care so much for him. I mean, you were ready to bolt out of the apartment to check up on him when I told you he’s been crying.” 

“Fuck you guys,” you say in distress, hiding your face in your lap. They laugh and come to stand next to you, pulling your body in an upright position and smothering you in between them. 

“Just talk to him, at least. See where it goes. If it doesn’t work out, at least you could say you tried.”

“And you know,” Yuna says, “sometimes trying your best is enough.” 

You gather yourself and put your shoes on when Ryujin hands you a tissue. Yuna grabs her car keys and tells you she’ll drive and that they’ll wait for as long as you need in case you need any back up. You hug both of them like you’re afraid they’ll slip away but they tell you that everything will be just fine. 

Heeseung is the one who answers the door when you knock. He’s shocked to see you but lets you in when Jay and Jake spot you from the living room. Sunghoon sits between them on the couch when Jake nudges his side. 

When he meets your eyes, he understands what it means to have the wind knocked out of his lungs. He wipes a stray tear from his eyes and you wonder if he knows how your heart is breaking for him all over again. 

“We’ll be outside,” Jake says to cut the silence. The three boys walk out and join Yuna and Ryujin in the car when they see them parked out front. 

“Hi,” you say quietly, standing awkwardly with your weight shifting from one leg to the other. 

Sunghoon stands abruptly and nearly trips over the blanket covering his lap to get to you. You stifle a grin when you remember why you’re here in the first place and you hate that you melt whenever he’s around you. 

“Y/N, hi,” Sunghoon says. “W-What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said that night you apologized,” you tell him. “I didn’t think you loved me the way you said you did until Jake told us you’ve been crying for weeks.”

“How could I not love you?” he asks timidly. Sunghoon wants to reach for your hand but refrains because he feels like it’s too soon. 

“I don’t know.” 

“You’re everything to me, Y/N. You’re the person I want to talk to at the end of the day and the person who sees the best in me. You’ve never made me feel like I wasn’t enough and it was so stupid of me to think that you would’ve turned out to be somebody who would leave me. You’ve been so nice to me since we were kids and all I did was make you feel like you weren’t good enough.”

“Hoon—”

“I don’t want you to think I’m saying all of this to get you to feel a certain way. But fuck, I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy. You of all people deserve that at the minimum.” Sunghoon nods and sniffles. “You deserve the world and I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t.” 

“I won’t say that everything’s okay,” you begin. Sunghoon nods and casts his gaze to the floor. “I’ve never felt so passionately about someone before you, Sunghoon. I don’t think I ever knew what to do about my feelings for you. It was so hard watching you date people in high school who I knew were only with you because they thought you’d become famous.

Everyday I wished you would look at me like you looked at them. And then you did, but you made me so confused when we came back that I convinced myself it must’ve been an illusion.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“But I know you mean what you say.” You sigh, taking a step forward towards him. “I know you’re being honest with me. I know you well enough to know when you’re lying.”

“I’m not lying about this,” Sunghoon’s wears immediately. 

“I know you love me. I know because you don’t cry about things so easily. You’re resilient like that and you’ve always pushed through. The only time I saw you like this was when you didn’t qualify for that skating competition back in grade school. But even then, you just trained harder until you qualified for the next one. 

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t hate you and it would feel weird if you weren’t in my life. I don’t know where that leads us but it’s only fair that I’m honest if that’s what I expected of you.”

“I want you and only you,” Sunghoon tells you. “You are the best part of me and everyone knows that too. I love you, Y/N. I love you so much.” 

Sunghoon almost doesn’t believe it when your hands cup his jawline. He doesn’t believe he’s awake when your lips touch his and when you push yourself into him like you’re afraid you’ll fall.

He holds you delicately and reciprocates your kiss. Sunghoon doesn’t dare to push you further, allowing you to take the lead and set the pace at your own discretion. When you pull away, he looks at you with plump lips and closes his eyes when he feels your thumbs wipe away his tears. 

“I love you too,” you say. “I didn’t spend all of my life crushing on you just for this not to work out.” 

Sunghoon laughs for the first time with you and it makes him feel like the weight of the world is no longer on his shoulders. He holds his hand with yours and kisses your palm twice. 

“We should probably let the guys back in, huh?” 

“I say we should all have a movie night,” you suggest. “I mean, the five of them didn’t put up with us for nothing.” 

Sunghoon opens the door and beckons all of them inside, still keeping a hold on your hand as you kick your shoes to the side. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jay says with a smile. “It’s about time!”

“We love you man,” Heeseung says as he high-fives Sunghoon. He gives you a side hug when he enters the apartment. “I’m really happy for you, Y/N.”

“So are you guys dating now?” Ryujin asks. 

“We still have a lot to talk about but I think we’re on the same page,” you tell her. Sunghoon kisses the crown of your head and your friends are amused when you smile. 

“Y/N suggested we should have a movie night,” Sunghoon says. “I’m down for it if you guys are.”

“I am SO raiding your liquor,” says Yuna. Jay follows in tow and starts preparing the popcorn while Heeseung fetches more blankets and pillows.

“You know,” Jake says with a smirk on his face, “this is so going in my speech when you two get married.” 

You and Sunghoon choke and struggle to speak.

“M-Married?” Sunghoon stutters. 

“Don’t act like you don’t fantasize about Y/N being your wife. And you,” Jake says while pointing in your direction, “don’t act like Hoon isn’t what you think about day and night.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jaeyun,” you whine with heat crawling up your cheeks. You turn to bury your face in Sunghoon’s chest. 

“No, don’t hide.” He pries you off of him with a pout. “It’s cute. You’re cute.” Sunghoon kisses your cheek as Jake claps his hands.

“Just remember what I said!”

“Yeah, yeah,” you mutter, waving Jake off. “Whatever you say.” 

When enough time has passed for the dust to settle and for water to flow under the bridge, neither you nor Sunghoon are too surprised when Jake manages to make your friends laugh as he tells them the story of tonight after the graduation ceremony.

Jake watches as Sunghoon fixes the tassel on your cap as his mom stands to take a photo of your friend group before your life truly begins. The familiar sensation of pride swells within him when he watches the two of you, almost like it was almost meant to be.

In a way, it was.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･

taglist: @enha-stars @karinasbaby @baevsxii @lillotus17 @syzavxy @mrmld @nikilvrfuvyev @notevenheretbh1 @wvnkoi @seungiesgf @kgneptun @judeduartewannabe @iheartjayke @wonsbubble @ilyjxdz @foggysfrog @oddracha @haechansbbg @tobiosbbyghorl @ryunjin0 @sharksandminhos @jungwoneez @alex-is-sleeping @minjaexvz @woninluv @engeneeee-168 @friendlyuser57 @moony-mari @trdhgg @sleepyhoon @sunghoonsgfreal @i02hoonz @riksaes @021894s @zeeloveshee @jwnghyuns @vhuteryh @cloudiesblog @awsome209 @fleurixzs.

#enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #kpop smut #enhypen scenarios #park sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #park sunghoon smut #sunghoon imagines #park sunghoon #sunghoon scenarios #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon #our last summer #my writing

[eclectickss]

Taste the Tango

Wanda x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SoftTop(switch if you squint)!Reader, age gap (reader is of age), reader's best friend is Wanda's son, Tommy is graduating high school? (a choice that I don't think I've seen before, so let me know if you like?), Wanda is reader's former teacher, slight alcohol use, smut (fingering, oral)... I think that's everything?

Summary: You are in your hometown the summer before your senior year of college hanging out with your best friend. Unexpectedly, you also get some quality with his mom (and your former teacher).

Note: This took me an annoyingly long time to write... I just kept adding stuff... and it kept growing... and... here ya go? I probably should have separated this into multiple parts... oh well. I happily welcome comments, thoughts and questions! - Elliot

WC: 10,350 words?!?! (a record for me)

18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI.

╔══《✧》══╗

"Hey Y/N!" Your gaze shot up from the pavement to the open door ahead, smiling as you saw your best friend standing in the frame.

"Hey Tommy!" You jogged up to hug him, seeing as he and his twin brother just returned from a week long beach trip. You normally wouldn't be this excited to see him, but with complicated summer schedules and school across the country, it had been almost 6 months since the two of you had spent time together.

"This is crazy, I missed you so much!" He backs up and you immediately spot the sparkle in his eye that is easily recognized in the rest of his family.

"I know, me too!" You shook his shoulders and hugged him one more time. "So, you said you had something planned for today?" The two of you walked into the house and towards the kitchen. Your eyes secretly darted around the space for a certain someone, but you are slightly disappointed when you don't see the person you're looking for.

You feel guilty for hoping she would be there, since you were there to spend time with her son, but you couldn't silence your thoughts, no matter how hard you tried.

"Well I know it's kind of silly, but I picked up some rocks we could paint?" He scrunched up his face. "I don't know, I just wanted something mindless we could do while we caught up."

"Are you kidding, that sounds great!" You smiled.

"Alright, awesome! I've gotta head out by six so I can meet Ruby for dinner, but we have plenty of time," he said as you followed him back to his room. Ruby was his girlfriend of six months, so it prided you to know that hanging out with you was his priority.

The two of you made it to his room and he encouraged you to sit down as he left to get art supplies. Just before you were able to sit though, a voice reached into the depths of your mind.

"I knew I heard a familiar voice!" You turned around and there she was, as breathtaking as ever. Wanda Maximoff. The way her soft eyes met yours and her red wavy hair sat just above her shoulders made you melt. You prayed the moment would last forever, but the passing seconds were inevitable.

"Hi!" You excitedly walked over to your former teacher to give her a hug, painfully ignoring all other emotions you were feeling.

"How are you, Y/N?" She moved out of the hug, cheeks grazing, making you briefly look away.

"I'm absolutely wonderful, how about you?"

"I'm alright," she spoke as she softly smiled. "Are you excited for your last year of college?" She leaned up against the doorframe.

"I guess so? I love California, but I can hardly wait until I'm done with school already so that I can come home. Are you ready to become an empty nester?"

Billy and Tommy were three years younger than you, so they were just about to begin their college journey as you were ready to bring yours to a close. Tommy was only going to university an hour away and Billy five hours, but you imagined it would still be a lot for both boys to be leaving the house at once.

"Oh hush, dear." Ms. Maximoff playfully shoved your shoulder, a gesture you struggled to not linger on. "I don't wanna hear that talk. Let me soak in my boys being home while I can. And you being here while I can." She smiled with a small glint in her eye, but you knew she was dreading the boys' absence.

"Oh well, two more semesters and you won't be able to get rid of me."

"Perhaps it's selfish to say that we can't wait to have you back either, but I know you'll accomplish wonderful things in your last year there." She placed a hand on your shoulder and instinctively you placed your own on top of hers.

You internally panicked, worried that you were being too affectionate for a teacher/student/best friend's mother relationship, but she just moved to gently caress your cheek and proceeded to walk away.

You could hardly process your thoughts as your brain replayed the previous moment over and over, but this torturous habit is nothing you weren't unfamiliar with.

Every day that went by with Ms. Maximoff in your presence was a day to strenuously remember. You mentally recorded her words, her movements and her reactions. Time slowed with her around as you soaked in every detail about her possible.

Every day that went by without her was filled with daydreaming and guilt. You always wondered how she would react to something, or how she would respond in a private conversation. You tried to picture her thoughts and envision her smile before you. You hated how much you thought about her, yet craved to dream of her.

She was your high school english teacher, your best friend's mother, and your go-to mentor in any sticky situation.

She has already given you so much, and you despised the fact that you wanted more. You knew it was wrong, but she was your addiction.

"Earth to Y/N," A hand waved in front of your face and you quickly realized that Tommy had returned with the rocks and art supplies.

"Oh, hey Tommy!" You rubbed your eyes in shock.

"Where'd you go there?" He laughed and sat down on the floor.

"I uhh... can't remember." You lied, joining him on the floor, not letting him see the guilty emotions written across your face.

---

Hours pass as the two of you work on your rocks and talk.

You tell him all about your travels while he fills you in on everything that happened at the beach and on his trips prior.

You love listening to all his little stories, especially those where his mom is involved. One of your favorite stories was when he talked about her affliction with the terrible kitchen at the beach house. She wouldn't stop complaining about the quality of the stove, which you ended up finding rather funny.

You asked him if she even actually used the stove, and he said no, which made you laugh out loud. Supposedly she apologized at the end of the trip for making such a big deal out of it.

He thought it was stupid, but you found it cute.

Of course that was something that she would do.

"What else crazy did she do on the trip?" You couldn't stop yourself from inquiring about her. Tommy never caught onto your special interest as he laughed it off and launched into the next story.

"So it was movie time, right?" He starts and you nod. "Well mom and I were advocating for She's Funny That Way since we're both madly in love with Kathryn Hahn."

You cackle and quickly agree with their side. "Of course."

"But Billy and Auntie Nat wanted to watch Knives Out!"

"I thought you liked that movie..."

"Ok yes, but Kathryn Hahn or Chris Evans?"

You thought about it for a moment. "Fair Enough." This made you wonder though about Ms. Maximoff's interest in Kathryn Hahn. There's no way she's.... attracted to her, right?

If Ms. Maximoff actually liked women, the hole you've dug for yourself would become infinitely deeper.

"Anyways, so mom, out of nowhere, says, 'You wanna watch Knives Out? Well guess what, Chris Evans is the villain and Ana de Armas gets the estate and money,' and Nat and Billy were furious."

"Oh my gosh!" You laughed with your hand over your mouth in disbelief. "So did you guys end up watching She's Funny That Way?"

"Well mom and I did. Billy and Nat went off to watch something else."

"Wow! That was vile!"

"It really was intense." He laughed and the conversation paused as both of you returned your attention to your rocks. Right before your paintbrush hit the surface though, his phone alarm went off.

"Aw, shoot. That's my timer for Ruby. We gotta clean up."

"That's alright." You gave him a soft smile. "We do have the last two weeks to hang out before I go, and I understand I'm not the only important person in your life."

He looked at you and smiled. "I love you, you know?"

"I love you too, you dork. Now let's clean these brushes and get these rocks outside to dry."

The two of you were cutting it real close to six once everything was cleaned, but before you knew it, you were saying goodbye to Tommy in the driveway just as Ruby had pulled in to pick him up.

"Alright, Y/N, we'll hang out soon!" He hugged you and stepped back.

"Oh you know it."

He followed you to your car, but you quickly realized you had left your keys inside.

"You know, I think I left my keys on your floor, but don't bother waiting for me to drive away. Go have fun with Ruby."

"Alright. My mom will let you in if it's locked." He hugged you one more time and joined his girlfriend in her car. You released a breath of air and headed back to the house, happy to see that the kitchen door was still unlocked.

Ms. Maximoff was standing in the room though when you walked in.

"Oh, hey Y/N/N! Did you forget something?" She looked up from the cutting board and veggies on the counter.

"Yeah. My keys are somewhere in Tommy's room," you said as you headed in that direction.

"Oh, so you're not back because you forgot to say 'goodbye' to me?" She teased.

"You read my mind!" You yelled from down the hall, embarrassed by how quickly you turned red.

Your keys were rather easy to find, but you took a bit longer to collect yourself before exiting Tommy's room.

"So," she said as you re-entered the kitchen. "What are you doing with your last two weeks before heading back to California?"

You were caught off guard with her conversation starter, but you were overjoyed that she wanted to talk. You leaned back onto the counter to face her.

"Well, it's all just trying to hang out with friends, even though most of them are off doing internships or traveling. I'm honestly just hanging around home a bunch," you shrugged.

"What, you didn't want to travel or anything?" She said as she continued to work on the cutting board at her fingertips.

"You know me, Ms. Maximoff, I love home just a little too much." You smiled and looked at your feet.

"Wanda, dear." She stopped her chopping and looked directly at you. "I was Ms. Maximoff to you because I was your teacher, but we've been over this, darling. Wanda, please."

You sighed. "It just... feels weird!"

"Ok, well you know what we do when things feel weird, Y/N?"

You looked at her questioningly.

"We practice, dear." She stepped around the kitchen island to lean on the counter across from you, and your thoughts started to get louder. "Say it. Say my name." She openly challenged you, so you had to accept.

"W- Wanda?" Your insides were burning.

"With confidence, dear."

You took a breath. "Wanda." You exclaimed, meeting her gaze from a few feet away.

"Good girl. Now use it in a sentence."

You blushed, knowing she saw it, but hoping she assumed it was from your discomfort. "Like... what?"

"Well, I don't know! A compliment, a question, a simple statement? I don't care, just say something. Anything." She commanded as your heart was pounding in your chest.

"I think your eyes are gorgeous, Wanda." Fuck. That wasn't supposed to come out. The woman across from you seemed to freeze briefly. "I mean- your eyes, Tommy and Billy's eyes... you all have the same eyes. I think... I think they're pretty. Wanda." FUCK.

Wanda still hadn't moved, her gaze digging into your soul. She finally took a breath, leaving a long pause in the conversation.

"What do you think of me, Y/N?"

"What?" Disbelief dripping from your reply as the intonation behind her question became lost on you.

"How do you process my image? My persona?" Wanda playfully smirked. "It must at least be slightly askew since I was your teacher, but what role do I play in your life?" She moved some cooking items away from the edge of the counter, proving to you that you had her full attention.

"Do you want me to be honest or uncomfortably honest?"

"I want to know why you chose me. Why you always turned in my homework but nobody else's. Why you wrote me thank you notes and asked me to write your college recommendation letters... why you confide in me and why you respect me so much..."

You stood in shock, feeling your body start to shake from the nerves. Your shoes all of a sudden became really interesting.

"Uncomfortably honest it is, then." You gave a long sigh and glanced back up to see her eyebrows raise in anticipation.

"It was one of the first lectures you gave me in 11th grade. I had started to realize that I was more introverted than I wanted to be, so I challenged myself to break out of that shell. I started doing that by speaking up in class. You had asked a question about our summer reading, and because I already knew you through Tommy, I felt comfortable to answer.

"To my surprise, you started a debate with me... and I didn't back down... and then you applauded me for standing up for something I believed in. That made me want to pay a lot more attention to you." You paused to take a breath, making sure the other woman was still paying attention. Wanda nodded in acknowledgement, but stayed silent to let you continue. "I started to listen to every word that came out of your mouth. I memorized every piece of information you shared, I watched what candy you picked out of the bag first, I payed attention to what music you were listening to, what books you were reading." You paused. "And so I started to notice things.

"You work to understand every single story in the room. You want to help as many people as possible, and you don't let their faults get in your way. You have a passion for what you teach and you want to share it with the world. You have good and bad days just like the rest of us, and you allowed me to see that. You are kind, empathetic, beautiful, and I have a great deal of respect for the way you carry yourself, Wanda."

Your heart raced as the two of you stared at each other for what felt like minutes. You had just poured your heart out to the one person who was never supposed to know anything. Wanda was speechless, which made you nervous. You continued to ramble.

"And- and its tricky because Tommy is genuinely my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without him... but if you're wondering what I think of you, I don't know what I'd do without you either. This family has made me who I am today. And it's all very complicated and confusing and difficult to navigate."

Wanda's eyes still stood stagnant, but you couldn't bear the silence anymore.

"Why do you ask?" You quietly gulped, praying some sound would exit her mouth.

"Would you like to stay for dinner? Billy is with friends tonight and Tommy is with Ruby, as you know, so I fear I have nobody to eat with." Wanda returned her attention to the preparations. The change of subject caught you off guard, but the opportunity to spend time with her was never something you wanted to turn down.

"Uh... sure! Let me just tell my mom I won't be home for our frozen pizza dinner." You made a goofy face that Wanda found hilarious after you commented on your other dinner option.

"Wonderful." A beautiful smile spread across her face as she pulled another plate out of the cupboard and set it on the dining table. "Would you care for a glass of wine?" The offer felt odd coming from the older woman, but it's easy to forget that you're legally allowed to accept alcoholic beverages now.

"That would be nice." You gave her a soft smile.

"I can't believe you're old enough to drink now... better for me so I won't be drinking alone," You both laughed. "Red or white, darling?"

"Whatever you're having." Wanda practically waltzed around the kitchen. "Is there anything I can do to help you prepare?" You asked as she handed you a glass of red.

Wanda paused her movements and looked at you with a silly yet impressed smile. "Well... have you ever made paprikash darling?" She asked and you shook your head. "Would you like to learn?"

"Absolutley." You grinned and Wanda took a sip of her wine.

"Wonderful." She held out her hand for you to join her at the cutting board. "We've got to dice two onions, one tomato and one pepper, as well as mince two cloves of garlic." She placed the kitchen knife in front of you. "I like to use four cloves of garlic though," she nearly whispered in your ear.

"Do you know your way around a cutting board?"

"Uhh... not really?"

"A teaching opportunity then! You can never get away from me, can you?" Wanda's words were spinning in your head even though you knew they were not intended to be. The older woman stepped behind you, moving the knife to your left hand.

"How did you know I was left handed?"

"I pay attention, dear." She casually replied. "Now curl your fingers on your right hand like this-" She placed her palm on top of the back of your hand. "And hold the knife like..." She adjusted the positioning of your thumb and pointer finger. "Good. This is the best way to avoid chopping an extremity off." Your eyes widened, thankful Wanda couldn't see the fear written on your face.

"All that's left to do is slice." She grabbed the readied onion and placed it in the center of the board. Before you knew it, she was guiding your hand through the vegetable while pressing you into the counter from behind. "Wonderful!" She exclaimed as the slice of onion fell onto the board. "Now you keep going!" She stepped out behind you and you tried your hardest to not sulk at her absence.

You missed Wanda's warmth, but nevertheless, you continued slicing and she continued watching.

"Good girl." She spoke the words again, nearly making you loose focus with a dangerous object in your hand. "Now you cut in the opposite direction. I was never good with onions so as long as the pieces look somewhat like cubes, you will have done a wonderful job." That made you laugh and you continued working.

"So tell me more about college! I love having you here but we never get one-on-one time like this. How is your degree path, your teachers, friends? Are you seeing anyone?" The last question was delivered in a goofy, sultry manner as Wanda pulled raw chicken out of the fridge.

You giggled and rolled your eyes. "To get the most pressing question out of the way, I am not seeing anyone. I was slightly interested in a graduate student but we decided it would be better to stay friends. Plus, who gets lucky enough to date a graduate student?"

"A graduate student, eh? How did the two of y'all meet anyways?"

"Well she used to live in the rental where I am now, so I received some old mail of hers. Who woulda thought that the nearly outdated postal service of America almost brought two women together?"

Your joke made Wanda cackle as she turned on the stove to heat the pot.

"Well, at least you have the opportunity to date women on campus, dear. That would have been so much more complicated in my day." She stirred the melting butter in the pan.

"Oh Wanda, don't say 'in my day', that makes you sound like a dinosaur!" You laughed.

"Well, honey, I am a dinosaur!"

"Oh shut up, no you're not. I am shocked every day that there aren't sad little high school boys making rude comments to your face or handsome men on your tail." The room oddly fell silent and you immediately started reflecting on what you had said. You put down the knife even though you were nearly done with the tomato. "When you made the comment about back in your day... - did you... do you wish you had the opportunity to date women?"

An all-telling silence came from Wanda.

"You'd rather have beautiful women on your tail? Is that it?" You smiled at her a little bit, just to make sure she knew that you understood.

"Well... I guess so. The whole 'men' thing only did me one good and that is my boys. Their dad, Vision, was just a good friend and it took me a really long time to realize that."

"That makes perfect sense Wanda." You almost hesitate with your next question, but it feels natural to ask. "Is there any woman that you've ever been particularly curious about?"

Immediately, you could tell Wanda had an answer, but her various facial expressions made it difficult to decipher if she was going to tell you or not. Finally, a glimmer of playfulness lit in her eye.

"Yes, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Tommy."

"So we both know this person then! She must be from school!" You exclaimed, getting excited.

"SHHH!" She looked at you seriously. "I always wondered how I really felt about Carol but she got herself a partner back in May."

It took you a moment to figure out who Wanda was talking about. "Wait- Carol as in Ms. Danvers Carol Danvers?!?" Wanda sheepishly nodded and you smiled wide. "Wanda, I can't blame you at all. Carol was hot at hell." You returned to your tomato, smirking.

"Excuse me!" Wanda was shocked at your remark.

"Oh, c'mon, Wanda. You must know that students talk about a few teachers. Mostly the boys... but they still talk. Danvers was a popular topic in my graduating class! Even I added a comment occaisonally..." You mumbled as you watched Wanda return her eyes to the stove with a scoff.

"Unbelievable." Fake disgust dripped from Wanda's voice as you held back your laugh. She pulled the chicken out of the pot and grabbed the onions from your board, tossing them into the oil. "You said a few teachers..." She whipped back around. "Who else was on the hot commodity list?"

You playfully scoffed. "Well there was coach Wilson amongst the girls and also Ms. Hill with the guys."

"Interesting."

"Oh, and of course we can't forget you."

"EXCUSE ME?"

You let out an outrageous burst of laughter. "What?! All of the students fangirl over how nice you are if they aren't upset with their grades in your class! The boys love how mysterious and alluring you are and the girls think you're extremely personable, which is true."

Wanda let a brief silence fall on the conversation. "And you?"

You paused. "I already told you what I think of you Wanda." You smiled and handed her the rest of the chopped veggies. "Here you go." A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as Wanda continued to work, claiming there was nothing else for you to do at the moment. Eventually, she covered the pot she had been focusing on and turned the kitchen timer on.

"We've got about thirty minutes of waiting before there will be anything else to do," she spoke as she finally poured more wine into the both of your empty glasses. "I hope you liked this red, darling. I don't know how experienced you are with alcohol yet... although i'm assuming it's more so than you should be for your age."

You giggled. "I have maybe had my fair share of underage drinking, just like any decent college kid might," you replied as you accepted the glass from Wanda and followed her to the nearby couch. You both got comfortable and you watched as the older woman pulled a blanket across her thighs. The absence of conversation began to feel a little overwhelming, but you weren't expecting Wanda to break it with the next sentence she spoke.

"You're actually the first person i've told about liking women," she began. You raised your eyebrows in shock. Not that she hasn't told anyone before, just that the first person she wants to confide in is you.

"Wow." You began. "I don't know if I'm the most appropriate person to offer this, but do you have any questions? I am comfortable answering anything as long as you are comfortable asking." You stared at Wanda as you sipped your wine, watching the gears turn in her head.

"Yes I-" Her hesitations finally diminished. "Have you ever dated a man?" You were not expecting that.

"Yes, I tried. I was in a similar situation where he was my best friend. This was in 9th grade, that is, but I still knew that I was supposed to feel more."

"How is it different?"

"Than women?" You watched as Wanda nodded. "Well there is an objective answer and a personal answer. The objective one goes to say that it comes down to the person and how you connect with them. How your life experiences tie together and whatnot. Objectively, I can't say that much because every individual is unique. Personally though, women are infinitely better."

This made Wanda laugh, which you were quickly realizing you would give anything to hear more and more of.

"They better understand your life experiences and how to navigate emotional situations, especially the mature ones. The way they display affection is usually more personable and caring, too. They also are more attentive to details, both mentally and physically."

"How so?"

You could feel the alcohol beginning to stir, making it harder for some thoughts and words to stay away from your brain. "Well mentally, women tend to catch onto social cues faster, like when their partner needs a break or needs to eat or needs cuddles or space. Physically, they pay more attention to how your lips move and how you like to be kissed, not just where." You noticed Wanda's eyes following the path of your lips and jawline, making you stammer for a moment.

"What else?"

You gulped, beginning to realize you had no idea how far this conversation would go. "Well, The body parts that they work to please are also the same parts they touch in their free time. They know how moving on something feels different than something moving on it... and so on."

Wanda tried to verbally confirm that she understood but you could tell she was a little lost in her head. She took a big sip of wine. And another.

"I was reading something the other day..." Wanda drew out and took a big breath. "Her tongue was on the...- and she had two fingers in-" Wanda stared at her hands, oblivious to the glaze over your eyes as your listened to your former teacher talk about fucking another woman. "Is that even possible?"

"Uh- um- yea- yes. It is. It takes a little bit of practice to figure out how to do it comfortably but - yes."

It was now your turn to take a big sip of wine.

"Oh I see."

"Do you have any other questions?" You know you shouldn't, but you wanted her to say yes. Your heart was racing and you could feel a velvety slick form in your pants.

"How are your classes going?" Her tone changed but she was still focused on her hands.

You let out a big gust of air from the tension you were feeling, semi relieved that the conversation had changed but also slightly confused. "Uh, classes are good. I've got most of the hard ones out of the way, so it's really just the fun ones left."

"Like what?"

"Well I have a science elective left so I'm taking intro to geology which is supposed to be wonderful. I've also signed up for a Shakespeare lecture that should be phenomenal too. It's being taught by my favorite professor, so I can't wait to have her again."

Wanda's eyes glanced up at that. "Again?"

"Yeah, I had her for my ethics class in freshman year and she was excellent. One of those teachers whose work I actually enjoyed doing. She really understood the students and designed her class structure to fit our interests."

Wanda didn't want to address the confusion that she was experiencing... almost jealousy, but the next question did not hesitate to fall from her lips.

"Do you have a picture?"

This caught you off guard. "Uh, yeah, I bet I could find her Linked-In or something." You pulled out your phone for a quick internet search. "Here she is on the school website."

You moved your phone in front of Wanda, not realizing until now how similar the two of them looked. Wanda also took notice.

"Was she on the list?" Wanda asked. "The list of teachers that students would talk about?"

"Oh, ha, no she wasn't." This line of questioning was risky, but you continued producing a response. "She was only part time and besides, that's more of a hormonal high school thing."

A brief pause entered the conversation. "Well, would she have been?" Wanda was speaking softly.

"Well, you were in high school once. What do you think?"

"Me?" Wanda's eyes widened and you nodded. "I think she would have been," the older woman drew out.

"I think you're right, Ms. Maximoff." You smirked as you took your phone back.

The two of you spent the rest of the half hour dancing around dangerous conversation, the mood lightening a little bit. You gained some insight into how the high school was holding up, and even heard some gossip about the faculty which made you really excited. You told Wanda more about what you were studying and what your plans were for after university, as well as how your summer was.

When dinner was finally ready, Wanda topped off the wine and the two of you sat down together to eat. The food was phenomenal and the company even better. The two of you went back and forth sharing memories from high school, true feelings about teachers and students being poured out. Wanda also got to know you more as you shared what books you had been reading and shows you had been watching.

Eventually, the room had quieted down as the two of you were focused on finishing the rest of your food.

"The food was astounding, thank you so much Wanda." You smiled as you set down your utensils and the older woman took her last bite.

"Mhm..." She swallowed, covering her mouth. "I would say 'you're welcome' but you helped me cook, dear, so I should really be saying thank you."

Your eyes met as the two of you stared, an odd silence threatening the conversation.

"So, clean up! What can I do to help?" You asked, standing up from the table with your plate.

"Oh, no, dear, please let me take care of it!" Before you knew it, Wanda had snatched your plate out of your hands.

"Are you-"

"Yes, yes, just sit down honey." She smiled at you as she moved around the kitchen, swiftly cleaning the mess from dinner. "So what has been your favorite class so far?" She asked as she worked. "Besides- besides that class with that teacher you like." The comment unintentionally sounded bitter, and the idea of Wanda being jealous entertained you.

"Well, besides ethics, I actually really liked my required fitness class. The semester I dedicated to the credit was a popular fitness semester, so finding an open section was hard, but I was able to get a seat in ballroom dance."

"Interesting! I didn't take you for much of a dancer." Wanda looked up at you from the sink, smiling.

"Neither did I, Wanda." You heard her lovely laugh again. "And I was not the star student in the class either, but I think I liked it the most."

"Oh yeah? What was your favorite dance?"

"The tango," you replied as you smiled, some bout of confidence overcoming you. "Would you like to learn?"

Wanda paused what she was doing then looked up at you with a smile. "Bold of you to assume to I don't already know it, but you would also be right. I would be open to it." She replied and you giggled, pulling out your phone for some music.

"Oh, now?!" Wanda watched as you stood up. "Honey, I-"

"No better time like the present!" You held out your hand for her to join you, the alcohol adding to your charm and boldness.

"Ok..." Wanda mumbled, wiping her hands off on the closest rag. She joined you in the open space, placing her hand in yours and you guiding it into place.

"Now the tango is a walking dance, so it is perfect to take it slow and steady. There are 5 basic steps, but i'll keep it simple and teach you two." Wanda nodded as you pressed play on your phone. "Now, screw traditional roles, but for the sake of simplicity, I will be the man and you the woman." You locked eyes with Wanda as she smiled, but you could see the looming intimacy behind her eyes. You could feel it too, standing this close to her body as you placed your hand on her back.

Teaching the first step was easy - Wanda was more inclined to the movements than you thought she would be. All you two were doing was striding in a circle, but every step you took became lighter and relaxing into each other was easier. Her nose tilted further towards you and yours towards hers - and for a moment, nothing else existed in the world.

Wanda was staring into yours eyes and you could barely breathe. Staring back was difficult - you kept averting your gaze to the floor or elsewhere in the house, desperately trying to comprehend the situation. But it was magical. Once you discovered though, that Wanda's piercing green eyes were the most relaxing thing to focus on, you were stuck.

And then you stepped on her toe.

"Fuck!" You exclaimed, tripping as Wanda struggled to keep you from falling.

"Are you alright?" She asked as you composed yourself.

"I should be asking you that! I'm sorry."

Wanda laughed. "I'm perfectly alright darling. Now what's this about a second step?"

You blushed, Wanda essentially admitting she was enjoying this and wanted to continue. This was bizarre.

"Uh, it's pretty much the same for me. You get to shake it up a little bit."

"Oh?" She smiled and held her hands back out, awaiting the comfort of your return. You stepped into her grasp. "I can't wait," She winked.

This woman was going to be the death of you.

"Uh-m... - good!" You swallowed. "This is essentially the same as the last one, except now you're pivoting into me instead of pacing." You returned your hands to their proper placements.

"Like this?" She attempted a few steps with you.

"Almost. You don't need so much power to twist. Try again?" The two of you resumed stepping together.

"How's this?"

She almost had it, her knees just weren't getting the proper guidance. You dropped your hands down to her hips.

"Oh-" You froze. "May I?" Your hands were softly touching her jeans. You found Wanda staring, eventually returning a nod. Gently, you applied more pressure onto her joints and resumed stepping. Now, you could easily move her hips, and she quickly picked up the proper motion. "There you go." You looked back up at her eyes. "You're doing so well, Wanda."

She was speechless as you moved your hands back up to their proper position, rarely letting your fingertips leave her surface. It was easy to assume that a lot was going on behind her eyes... the step became mindless to her as she continuously scanned over your facial features.

"Wanda?"

She snapped out of it and ended the dance just as the song ended. "Thank you for teaching me, darling." She smiled softly. "That was wonderful." She returned to the kitchen in silence, leaving you alone.

"You were able to pick it up rather quickly. I was surprised." You said, following her to the kitchen and leaning against a counter. You could tell though that there were still gears turning in her head, so you let her be the one to talk next.

This allowed for a moment of quiet as you watched her finish cleaning the pot from dinner. Her back was to you as she washed and rinsed, softly humming the song from the tango.

When she was done, she still hesitated to turn around.

"Y/N?" She finally spoke, still away from you.

"Yes?"

"When I asked you what you thought of me, you said...- you said you thought I was beautiful."

You quietly laughed. "Out of all that I said, that's what you took away?"

"Darling, I-" she hesitated again. "Did you mean it?"

You did not wait to conjure up a response. "I meant every word of what I said. I mean... I have practiced telling you all of that nonsense for so long even though I never thought it would happen. I just want you to know that... that I care about you. And I do think you're beautiful, Wanda Maximoff. Without a doubt."

"You think I'm beautiful?" She tried not to choke on her words.

You took a deep breath, having done all possible damage already. "Yes, yes I do." You hesitated before speaking again. "I think that you are beautiful. Inside and out."

Wanda finally turned around, and her response was something you couldn't have predicted in a million years.

"I... I think that you are beautiful too."

You stared at her in disbelief.

"You do?"

"In every single way, you are beautiful." She paused. "The way that you carry yourself... the way you smile, the way you laugh. The moments you hold onto and the memories you make. The way your eyes shine when you're proud of something... all of it is beautiful."

She pushed off the counter and walked towards you as a tear formed in your eye. Her hand reached up to brush it away as it rolled down your cheek, but instead of placing it back at her side, her hand stayed cradling the side of your face. Your eyes raced as you traced every line and mark on her skin, noticing how her green glazed stare wouldn't look away.

The two of you stayed like that, simply staring at each other, hearts racing.

"Y/N?" Her eyes didn't leave yours.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to do something really stupid."

"Ok."

For the first time in what felt like hours, her eyes left yours, and instead went to your lips. She met your gaze one more time before slowly leaning in, closing the distance between you.

You couldn't believe what was happening as everything in your body burned. She used her hand to tilt your lips in her direction, and before you knew it, her mouth was on yours.

You initially didn't return the kiss, but before long, her sensation became addicting and you needed to know what more felt like.

Your lips were now pushing back on hers with curiosity and interest, slowly working through the feelings coursing through your entire body. Her mouth only briefly left yours before you were returning to another delicate kiss, delighted to see that it was being reciprocated with the small swipe of a tongue.

You let her into your mouth, eager to know what it felt like.

And whatever she was doing... well... it rocked your world. You caught yourself about to moan, which quickly brought you to your senses as you pushed her away.

"Oh my god." You took a deep breath and stared at the floor.

"What?" 

"You kissed me." You looked up and found her gaze full of lust; dark eyes roaming your body unapologetically. You couldn't believe that look was real, but the excitement consumed you.

"You kissed me back." She said, finding your stare again. The only thing worse than her intense gaze was the fact that she was right.

You were finding it very difficult not to pull her back on top of you. "Shit."

"Did you- were you ok with that?" Wanda asked nervously. She seems as nervous as you were, almost as if she couldn't believe what was happening either. Neither of you knew that you wanted this, but everything feels right now that it's there.

"Fuck, yes." You rubbed your face in frustration, struggling to function in the current situation. The nerves, heat and alcohol were all mixing together and before you knew it, the real uncomfortable truth slipped out.

"I'm fucking obsessed with you, Ms. Maximoff." You held your breath after messing up on her name, but instead of correcting you, her jaw slightly dropped at your desperation.

Out of some bout of confidence, you stepped into her space, backed her into the counter and dismissed every reason why the two of you should not happen. Her eyes stared you down with anticipation and desire. You brought your hands up to her head and wove your fingers into her hair, craving to feel her again.

"It's my turn to do something really stupid now, ok?"

She nodded slowly, afraid to avert her gaze.

As you leaned in towards her mouth, she took a deep breath and shuttered. Her hands moved to hold your hips just before your lips met, and this time, it was her turn to freeze once your mouth touched hers. You immediately began to panic, but just as you pulled away, she pulled your hips into hers and met your mouth with haste.

Immediately melting into her touch, a soft moan quickly escaped your lips as you tugged on her fiery locks. She gasped in return, giving you the chance to slide your tongue into her mouth and elicit a sound off of her shaky breath.

After all of your longing and pining and secrecy and wishful thinking, she was yours. Right now, as her fingertips were feeling your body for the first time and her sensation was consuming, you were struggling to believe that everything was real.

But the warm skin touching your side was undeniable. The wet tongue that was gently exploring your mouth was unquestionable, and the moans that were escaping the woman in front of you were unlike anything you could conjure in a dream.

One of your hands shakily released its grasp on Wanda's hair and made its way around her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. When your action resulted in a smooth moan from the other woman, you smirked, not expecting that in a million years. You brought that hand down to her waist so you could hold her body as close as possible.

"You liked that, Ms. Maximoff?" You breathed into her mouth, knowing she could sense your heated grin.

"Shut up and do it again."

You lightly laughed at her begging, but you were desperate to please her. Leaning in to kiss her again, you pushed your hand on her waist from her belly button back up to her neck, this time squeezing harder. She threw her head back from the pleasuring pain, which you saw as an opportunity to turn your mouth's attention to her neck. As your warm lips met her skin and your hands went to roam her curves, she audibly gasped, and you were soaking up every reaction that you could drag out of her.

Wanda's hands found the back of your head as she encouraged your sucking and biting, careless of how aggressive you were being. Your own fingertips began to entertain the rim of her jeans, testing the waters as you caressed her lower back. You were itching to move lower, but every aspect of the current situation was territory that you never imagined you would be in before.

"Where can I touch you?" You whispered under her ear.

She laughed, followed by a soft moan as you bit her lobe. "Oh, detka, we've moved way past that line of consent," She replied as she grabbed one of your hands and moved it to her ass. "I want to feel you. All of you."

"Yes ma'am," You smirked and returned your kisses to her neck, placing both hands on her ass and pulling her hips into you. A groan reached your ears as your tongue met the base of her collar bone.

With your mouth now at the top of her shirt, your hands traced her sides as you bent your knees to meet her clothed belly button. Grasping and lifting the bottom of her shirt with your fingers, you began to stand back up, slowly kissing and licking a straight line up her front to where her bra connected in the center.

"Wait," She said as you were about to teethe the fabric, immediately dropping the shirt and standing all the way back up. Your heart was racing, unable to predict what she was about to say. She looked as if she was genuinely questioning the situation, and you were terrified. "Bedroom. Now."

Before you could process the sense of relief that washed over your body, Wanda was dragging you towards the hallway that led to her room. Even though you'd been in her space several times, the idea of fucking her in her own bed was driving you mad.

Before either of you could make it two steps into the room, you shut the door and placed her up against the wood. For a moment, all you could do was stare into her eyes, and all she could do was stare back. This was crazy. Her hand twitched on your back, and you lost control.

You immediately pressed your lips back onto hers, lifting her wrists up and holding them against the door. She groaned as your tongue explored her mouth, your hands eventually finding their way back to the rim of her shirt. Now wasting no time, you lifted the article of clothing off of her body as she gladly held her arms above her head.

After tossing the shirt aside, you found yourself taken aback by her body. Her simple, red bra complimented her soft skin, hugging her gently. The stretch marks that remained from her pregnancy were like highlights of the moon reflecting off of the ocean, and the way her breasts moved with her heavy breathing had you in a trance.

"Holy shit," you whispered, slowly moving your mouth towards her sternum, beginning to place soft kisses in a line.

"What?" Wanda asked.

"You're breathtaking."

"Well, I'm not what I used to be."

Your hands roamed her back as you continued your delicate kisses on her breasts.

"I don't want what you used to be, Wanda. I think you're perfect the way you are now." You said as you unclipped her bra, slipping the straps off of her shoulders. The two of you locked eyes as you slid the article down her arms. Her swollen lips and wondrous gaze were stuck on your being as your lungs seemed to be missing air.

To your surprise, Wanda's next move was to lunge at you, forcing you to walk backwards as her tongue explored your mouth and her hands worked to remove your shirt. You jumped when the backs of your knees met the bed, but Wanda didn't seem to notice as she pushed you back and climbed on top. Distracted by the feeling of being in her bed and her tongue beginning to explore your chest, you tangled your fingers into her hair and tugged.

"Fuck," She moaned, looking up at you, and you froze. A pair of of desperate green eyes and wet, swollen lips were staring up at you, and your english teacher had just moaned a curse word. You felt like you were on another planet.

"Shit, you're attractive." You mumbled and the older woman blushed. "Tugging hair, choking... this is only the beginning, Wanda." You smirked at her from under her body, and her only response was kissing you deeply.

You used this moment as an opportunity to push her on her back, quickly mounting her before she could protest, although you don't think she would have. You took the moment to drag your fingertips down her front and run each nipple over with your thumbs.

"Oh, Fuck, babygirl, you're driving me-" You eagerly latched your mouth onto a breast, receiving a heavy gasp from the woman below you. You continued on with your work, playing with the free nipple in one hand and stroking a thigh with the other. Her fingers were dancing across your back, eventually making their way to unclasp your bra.

The moment you felt the relief, you gently bit down on her delicate nipple, causing Wanda to arch upwards and rake her nails down your back. The pain caught you by surprise as you leaned into her and moaned into her ear. You could feel her smirk against your skin.

"Shut up." You groaned.

"Make me." She replied, trying to tug your bra down your arms.

You sat up to fully remove the article of clothing, entertained by the hands that were running up your side to cup your breasts. You rested for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Wanda's massaging.

"Is this what you wanted from me, detka? Is this what you picture when you think of me?"

"To be honest, I never let myself consider it. But I always wondered what it would be like..." You smirked and placed your hands on her stomach. "Why? Is this something you've fantasized about? Having me on top of you, topless and moaning?" You leaned back over her body, your hands moving to massage her breasts and your breath teasing her other nipple.

"Oh honey," She laughed and moved her touches to and down your back. "I've thought about all of this. What your mouth on my tits would be like, how your fingers would feel inside of me..." Your movements stopped as you stared at her. "How hard would you fuck me and with how many fingers and how much tongue. How much would you edge me and make me crazy. What you would look like in-between my legs with my cum dripping from your lips? I'm simply curious, darling." Her hands cupped your ass as you worked up a response.

"Well aren't you lucky, Ms. Maximoff," You began with a shakey voice, one hand holding you up and the other teasing her stomach. "Cause you get to find out." You moved your fingers to the top her jeans and you popped the button open. "Have you ever pictured me rubbing out your cunt?" Wanda simply stared. "Well, we should probably start there." You slid your hands into her jeans and started making circles over her clothed pussy, watching as she took a deep breath and opened her mouth. You could feel her slickness in the fabric.

"Fuck, Wanda, you're already drenched." You groaned as you finally placed your lips on her other breast. Her wet cunt was already coating your fingers and you realized that you were so close to tasting her. "You're so wet for me, I've hardly done anything."

"Darling, you've done more for me than anyone else ever has." She groaned.

"Do you want me to do more?"

"Baby, please."

You immediately took your hand out of her jeans and turned your attention to taking them off entirely. You could hardly contain yourself as she lifted her hips and helped you slide the denim off of her skin, her now drenched panties completely visible.

"Wow," You whispered, crawling back on top of her body, bringing your face up to hers so your noses could meet again.

"Hi," She smiled sheepishly, and you gave her a loving kiss.

"Gods, you're stunning. I can't wait to be inside you." You kissed her again.

"I want to touch you too, babygirl." Wanda whispered and you smiled.

"Touch anything you'd like, Ms. Maximoff."

Wanda's eyes scanned your body. "I also want these off." She pulled at the hem of your pants then dragged her fingernails up and down your sides.

Shivering, you dismounted Wanda and stood up, putting on a show of you taking off your pants.

"You mean these old things?" You bent over so Wanda could see the fabric sliding down your ass, taking your time even though it was painful.

"Detka, you're killing me." Wanda sat up to watch as the hem dragged down your legs, revealing your most flattering panties. The attention she was giving you was lighting you on fire. You heard her audibly gasp when you started to pull at the final piece of clothing, but you instead let go of your panties and turned back around, smirking.

"Now, Ms. Maximoff, I can't do all of the work for you." You waltzed back over to the bed, remounting the older woman. You watched as her eyes followed the dark spot on your only remaining article. Grinning, you leaned into her ear. "Ill touch yours if you touch mine."

"Please, baby." She whispered. You sat up so she could see all of you again, this time reaching a hand down to where your panties covered your pussy. Making sure she was watching, you pulled the fabric aside.

"Go on, Wanda, it's all yours."

She slowly reached a hand to your slickness, and the moment you finally felt contact, you took a deep breath. At first, she just held one finger there, but eventually, small movements began to circle your clit. You moaned. "Good job, M- Ms. Maxi- mo--" She slipped a finger into you. "FUCK. You feel so good. You're doing so good." You noticed Wanda's eyes were glued to her finger moving in and out of you, trying to fill in the picture that was still hidden by the thin fabric.

You opened your eyes just in time to see her pull out her finger and bring it up to her lips, sensually sucking you off and whining at your taste. Excitedly, you let go of your panties and leaned down to taste yourself on her tongue.

"How did that feel, Wanda?" You smirk, coming out of the deep kiss and pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

"God- babygirl... you- you're driving me crazy." Her hips softly rolled under you as she pulled your head back down for another aching kiss. You ran the hand that wasn't supporting your weight over her breasts and down her body, scratching at the skin below her belly button. "Please, honey... I..." She mumbled in-between kisses, you hardly giving her a chance to speak. When you finally pulled away a few inches, no more words were leaving her lips as her chest heaved for air. 

"What is it, Ms. Maximoff?" You smirked, playing with the elastic around her waist. 

"I need you to touch me." 

"Yes ma'am." You watched her facial expressions as your hand finally dove into her panties, the moisture immediately apparent. Her eyes widened when your pointer finger found the velvety slick and you immediately knew you would do anything in your power to make sure she knew how good another woman could make her feel. Your digit slowly started exploring the rest of the area, soft moans escaping the older woman as you glazed over her clit and entrance. 

"Have you ever been touched like this, Wanda?" You whispered into her ear, making a few nips at her lobe.

"N-no..." She sighed as you began intentionally circling her clit. 

"Nobody to notice what you like... what you want. This wet, pretty pussy wasted on cheap condoms and a quick fuck."

A sinful moan left her body as your lips once again returned to her neck, you quickly learning where her sensitive spots were. "Shit, baby." Her nails were digging into your shoulder blades. 

"Nobody to know how warm and soft you are," You said, shoving a finger into her entrance, groaning as she gasped. "And it's a damn shame, cause you feel so perfect, Ms. Maximoff." You met her eyes when you could see the surprise on her face at your last statement. Your finger started moving slowly in and out, trying to map out every dip and line you could feel. "So perfect." 

You once again reattached your lips to hers, feeling the vibrations from her moans on your tongue. You could stay like this forever, you felt. But Wanda did not. 

"Detka, I need more. Please." Her slight accent slipping through, reaching down to your core. 

You pulled your finger out of her and she whined, fearing her pleading made you step back. Little did she know, but she would be getting exactly what she asked for. 

"I would love to give you more, but these are gonna need to come off." You dragged your soaked finger down her stomach to grab at her panties and she frantically nodded.

"Yeh- yes please. I want to feel all of you." 

You smirked, moving back to finally drag the rest of the fabric down her legs. When you finally brought yourself to look at the painting between her legs though, you could hardly breathe. Her folds were swollen and soaked with her wetness, slightly moving with her body as her chest rose and fell. You felt so divided, debating consuming her immediately or taking your time to work her up. 

You realized while the first option was so tempting, the second would give her the full experience. You slowly reached your fingertips to graze over her thigh, small whimpers coming from the older woman. 

"Oh, Wanda, you are divine." You muttered, now dragging both palms up her waist and down the sides of her ass as you repositioned yourself closer to her core. Eyes dragging up and down her person when you spotted the wetness that you had left on her stomach earlier. You leaned down to clean it all up, finally getting to taste her tanginess on your tongue. You moaned into her skin.

"Detka..." She gasped as you moved your mouth down to her inner thighs and you hands to grip her waist. Her smell was driving you crazy as her taste lingered in your throat. You began to slowly suck at the warm soft terrain, finding it easy to pull the skin between your teeth. A hand was placed on your head, pulling on your hair in a desperate attempt to get you closer to her core. You simply laughed, leaving red spots everywhere in-between her thighs.

Despite your grip on her hips, she still found some movements, directing your attention to the quiet sticky sounds coming from her pussy. You watched in a daze as her small twitches pushed around the slick, begging to be touched again.

You couldn't take it anymore, fully embracing her wetness with a torturous lick up her core. The groan that escaped Wanda was heavenly as she tried to tug you back onto her. You complied, picking up a slow routine of collecting her mess into your mouth. You dug your fingers deeper into her sides, addicted to her pain response. 

"Oh, good girl, baby. That, wow." She said as you began to suckle on her clit, striving for every reaction you could get out of her. "Holy fuck."

You smirked, finally sliding a finger back into her dripping hole and continuing to work on her clit with your mouth. You knew this pace you were making would not be enough, but you wanted the older woman to beg for it. You could tell she already wanted to as your hair only got tugged harder and finger nails started scratching at your arms. 

After only a short time, you decided to amp up the teasing with another finger into her entrance, but you would not change your pace. You took breaks on her clit when you felt she was building up too many knots, paying attention to her audible sighs as if she was taking a cold plunge and making sure her lungs were still working. 

"Darling, please... oh-"

You blew on her clit as you watched how your fingers slid in and out of her, collecting up her slick.

"Baby please make me cum. You feel s-so good but you're destroying me Y/N/N."

"You want me that bad, Ms. Maximoff?" You grinned. 

"Darling, its not a want. It's a need. Now. Please."

"Ok, as long as you look at me as I fuck you clean. I want you to know what good love feels and looks like." You smirked as she pulled a pillow under your head, elated when she gasped at the image before her... your chin soaked, eyes hungry and smile cruel. You kept eye contact with her as you sunk back down to her core, living in the light of her stare. You began to continue the licks and pumps, but she let her eyes roll back, which you hadn't told her to do. 

"Eyes on me, Ms. Maximoff. I'm in charge right now." You couldn't believe those words had just rolled off of your tongue, but clearly she hadn't either as your gazes reconnected. 

"You little sl-" She went speechless as you started a more aggressive pace, ensuring her green glare was on you. Once you had decided she would stay like that, you moved all of your attention to her pussy, finally tying all the knots together in her core. Her moans and whimpers were everything to you, even when you noticed her upper body was becoming too weak. You decided to let her finish, knowing she more than deserved it. 

"Detka, I think I'm gonna cum- I" 

"The stage is yours" You mumbled into her, internally grinning. You pumped a few more times and the next thing you know, Wanda has thrown her head down and arched off the bed. You could feel her cum as you watched the sight before you, the older woman unable to control her high. 

You stared in awe as your fingers worked her off her high, chest heaving and hands rubbing her eyes. You slowly pulled your fingers out of her twitchy hole, making sure her eyes were back on you as you raised your digits to your lips. 

"Wow, babygirl, that was... amazing." She pulled you over for a kiss, adjusting to her taste on your tongue. "Thank you."

You giggled. "You know, Wanda, another nice thing about women is that they have the stamina to make you cum more than once in a night... if you're interested." You smirked.

Her jaw slightly dropped. "More than once?"

╚══《✧》══╝

Thanks for reading!

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #elwriteswanda #wanda x reader #wanda fanfic #dom reader #lesbian #wanda maximoff x female reader #wlw smut #wanda maximoff smut

[yanderes-galore]

Light yagimi (Death Note) Platonic Hcs maybe with a classmate darling 🪲 [Shiny Bug Anon]

Sure, it's been a long time since I wrote anything for Death Note. Here's what I got after watching a summary of the anime events :)

Yandere! Platonic! Light Yagami with Classmate! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, God complex/Egotistical behavior, Manipulation, Murder, Jealousy, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Blackmail mantioned, Forced companionship.

Having Light as an obsessive friend is a... Scary thought.

He's popular among classmates and adored by his family.

He's a genius and before the whole Death Note issue... He seemed like a normal classmate to you.

With the ideal Light has once he gets the Death Note, he's definitely use them to his advantage when it comes to you.

Imagine if during High School you two became friends due to sharing classes together.

Light's charismatic so you may never notice the egotistical messiah complex he gains.

Any dark thing he does is hidden away from your eyes.

He acts as your caring best friend, always giving you smiles and sticking around you.

He seems perfect... There's nothing wrong, is there.

Light seems like he'd be very devoted to his obsession's safety.

He has the power of a God in his hands, he'd definitely abuse it for his darling.

For example, maybe you come crying to him one day about something.

He's confused only for you to admit you've been robbed, assaulted, or some other crime.

Light would definitely make sure whoever did that died immediately.

He's unnerving as any yandere due to the fact he can manipulate so well.

With the Death Note he's even proven to be ruthless.

You and him are close friends and classmates, of course he's extremely attentive to you.

Light no doubt keeps track of your every move.

Even before you became official friends he seemed drawn to you.

Somehow Light's always where you need him to be.

He's often always around and almost seems possessive of you as his friend.

You're purely platonic yet he seems too... close.

Light originally only kills criminals who harm you/are active around you.

Although, as time goes on, he just seems to kill whoever he deems as a danger to you.

I imagine he tries to hide his true nature from you, yet if you find out too much he blackmails you into staying quiet beside him.

Sure, he may be Kira... But he's done nothing but protect you, hasn't he?

However, he's manipulative enough you might not find out.

After all, at school he's compassionate and helpful to you.

Ryuk no doubt finds Light's concern over you amusing.

Even when he's "dating Misa" he's overly caring about his classmate and best friend.

There's times he just seem to act as a caring older brother to you, always seeming to get along well with family.

He's always judging if you have partners or not, trying to deem them trustworthy.

He's another strong yandere when he has the Death Note.

He could easily get rid of rivals, all while tending and caring to you with a compassionate attitude.

There's no need for him to kidnap as he likes to keep appearances.

He has other ways of keeping you locked into supporting him.

If someone tried to use you against him, Light would be pissed.

Yet he'd never harm you.

Normally he kills those who could expose him.

But he just knows you won't talk.

You trust him too much.

Even when you've graduated and aren't classmates anymore, Light still keeps you close and in contact.

He often calls you, asks you about your day, and could listen to you talk for hours.

He wants you to be close with his family so they can support his obsession.

Overall, Light would put on acts around his classmate darling.

You easily trust everything he says as he's not only popular but your friend.

You're mostly oblivious to his killings and his stalking.

A trait he pities yet exploits.

But hey, that's okay!

He'll be sure to protect and preserve such an innocence... You two are close!

With his help... You'll be happy and safe in the new world he plans to create.

"What did you say happened to you? Tell me... I'll make it all better. It's what friends are for, right? Now give me a name...."

#yandere death note #yandere light yagami #platonic yandere

[bingbongsupremacy]

The Nanny Pt. 2

Pairing: Father! Eddie Munson x reader

Warnings: I have never been on a tour bus. I've done a bit of research so I have an idea of what they look like. The bus portions might not be completely accurate, especially since they're supposed to be from the 1980-90's. Sorry if it's not 100% accurate. Also swearing.

Series Summary: Years ago you and Eddie used to be friends. After you graduated, you two fell out of contact. After years of not speaking to each other, Eddie offers you a job you can't resist; be a nanny for his little girl.

Part Summary: It's time to start your new job; nannying for the child of a rock star.

*Not Proof Read*

Tag List: @maskofmirrors @saucypeanuttt @hugdealer

******

Was this a good idea?

I stare up at the large bus looming over me. It casts a shadow over my body, leaving me feeling cold.

Can I handle this? I've never been away from Hawkins for longer than a few months. What if something goes wrong? What if I get fired?

" You can come in, ya know. " Eddie's voice startles me.

I look over at the previously empty door frame. Eddie's chest and head peek past the shiny black door frame. His style hasn't changed a bit. Still the same old Eddie.

Or is it?

" I promise we don't bite. " Eddie's voice is playful. It's comforting. Familiar.

" I hope. I'm really not interested in getting rabies anytime soon. " I joke back, trying to shake off the uneasiness. Eddie wouldn't hurt me. Not with his kid on board. Plus, I grew up with the other guys. They might look scary but I could beat their asses if it really came down to it.

Eddie's laugh is exactly the same. Warm and smooth, something that's so easy to listen to and get lost in. Something you want to hear over and over again.

Eddie moves out of the way so I can get onto the bus. " I was worried you got lost. Sorry I couldn't pick you up today. Rose decided it was the perfect day to get get marker on every possible portion of her skin. "

I let out a small laugh at the sight of Eddie's slightly frustrated sigh. " Oh no. "

He cracks a small smile. " Don't worry, I was able to get it all off. She's slightly less green now. I hope it wasn't too stressful getting here. "

As he talks Eddie leads me towards the back of the bus.

This place if fucking huge. I mean, they are global rockstars. Why wouldn't it be?

I had no idea a bus could hold this much stuff. It's basically a mini apartment. Everything looks brand new. The leather couches are glossy and luxurious, something I definitely couldn't afford on my own.

" It wasn't that bad. It's kinda hard to miss a huge bus in the middle of Hawkins. I mean, we don't get much action down here. But you know that, duh. You lived. " I don't know why I feel so awkward. So nervous. It's the new environment, it has to be. I'll get used to it.

We pass a few rows of what I assume are bunks. Clothes are scattered along the floor and partially hanging out of a few of the bunks. This is definitely where Gareth, Doug and Jeff sleep.

" This is the boy's area. " My suspicions confirmed. " Fuck. " Eddie mutters, nearly tripping over a hidden pile of magazines. " I told them to clean this shit up earlier. Obviously they don't listen. " Eddie reaches down and snags one of the partially open magazines off of the ground.

A nearly naked woman holding an open notebook to cover her chest stares back up at him.

" I'm gonna have to talk to him about this. Jeff can't just have this shit lying around in the open when Rosie's on the bus. " Eddie chucks the magazine into one of the bunks, shaking his head in disapproval.

We finally get to the last section of the bus, a separated room. " I just wanted to let you know about a few of the rules I have for Rosie. " He pulls a small slip of paper out of his black ripped jeans. " I didn't know if I should make a list. I've never really had a nanny before. I figured it's better safe than sorry. " His eyes scan over the ripped white sheet in his hands. The back has streaks of green and blue, something I'm guessing is curtesy of Rose.

" I really want to try to get her to bed at 8. 8:30 at most. I've been a bit lax about it the past few days since we're trying to adjust to the whole tour bus thing, but I read that structure's like really important for a kid so I'm trying to do that. As much as I can I mean. It's a little difficult on tour. " He lets out a small tired laugh. The past few days have definitely taken a toll on him.

" I get that. I'll do my best to get her to bed on time. " I reassure him, hoping to take some of the stress off of his plate.

" Thanks. " His eyes meet mine. " That'd really help me out a ton. I'm trying to keep cursing away from Rose. So please no curse words around her. "

" Oh my, Gareth, Doug, and Jeff not swearing? That's a first for sure. " I say in slight disbelief. I never thought I'd see the day.

Eddie chuckles. " It's a struggle. They slip up sometimes. I do too. It's hard not to, but I really don't want Rose to end up being that kid who curses in every sentence in class. At least not until high school. " Eddie hands the small slip of paper to me. " She's not allowed to have any photos taken of her. I understand that's going to be hard with the fuck-sorry, freaking paparazzi, but just maybe try to cover her face or something if they manage to find us or see her. People know what she looks like so if something does manage to get taken, I'm not going to flip out. I just don't feel comfortable with her face being everywhere on anything. "

I nod. " I completely understand. I wouldn't want my kid's pictures out there like that. I'll do what I can. "

" Thanks. Alright, I think that's really it right now. If something comes up I'll let you know. " Eddie opens the door and immediately a small head pokes out from one of the curtains blocking what I'm guessing are the beds. " This is the bunk room where everyone sleeps.

" You! " Rose squeaks, pointing a small finger at me. She jumps out of the bottom bunk she's on before launching herself in our direction. The small bunny from before is still tightly clutched under her arm, this time it's got a plastic pink necklace around it's neck and a bright purple bow squishing the two ears together. " Hi. " She grins up at me.

Faded green lines cover the tops of her hands. She's dressed in a small princess-like outfit, a stark contrast in color to the mostly dark bus.

Like her, her bunk is covered by a princess themed curtain, the only curtain that's a color other than black.

I smile down at the small girl. " Hey, Rose. How are you today? " I ask, bending slightly to meet her eye level.

" Good! I-I have a tea party wif- wif daddy and den we ated cookies! " She exclaims. " Daddy leted (Let) me play wif his gui-guigar (guitar) today too! "

Eddie chuckles, ruffling the wild curls of the little girl. " It's guitar, baby. "

" That's what I said! " She sasses, her face crinkling into an annoyed pout.

Eddie rolls his eyes. " This child. "

" I wonder where she gets that from. " I tease the man.

He places a hand on his heart. " Well, I have no idea. Couldn't be me. It hurt you'd assume I'm the dramatic one. " He pouts dramatically. His pout is nearly identical to the mini him standing inches away from us.

There's no way in hell someone could think they're not related. From the attitude to the hair, the genetics stand strong.

" This is your bunk. It's right above Rosie's. Your shelves are right here. " He pulls out three shelves on the right side of the bunks. " And this is your closet. " He gestures to the taller portion up top. " I'm right across from Rosie and usually the bunk up top is used for storage unless we have an extra guest or something. " Eddie leans back against his bunk. " It's a little tight in here but it's only temporary. We'll be outta here in a day or so and on our way to Texas. "

I pull open the curtain that hides my bed. A small fully made bed sits on the other side. A portable lamp sits neatly tucked in the top corner by a fluffed-out pillow. It's tight but there's still enough room to move around a bit. " Are we flying? " I ask curiously. I assumed that at some point or another, we'd be flying. That's something that's made me a bit anxious. I've never been on a plane before.

" Yeah-Whoa! " Eddie lets out a surprised gasp.

Rose giggles as she clings to her father's tattoo-covered arms. He's upgraded from the small stick n pokes to a few larger pieces. " Daddy I jumpted good. "

Eddie pulls Rose up to his chest, tightly hugging her while playfully swinging her around. " Yah you did kiddo. " He says with amusement in his tone. His gaze returns back to me. " I bought you tickets for all of the flights and rooms at the hotels we're staying at so everything is covered. "

" Thank you. " I smile at the guy.

He's changed. He seems...calmer. Less reckless than the kid I knew years ago. Having Rose' has probably changed that. He's mature now.

" Of course, you're doing me a huge favor. " He gently sets his kid back onto the ground. " By the way, if you need anything, please let me know. I can get it for you. Or let our assistant Gina know. She's got one of my cards too. "

" I feel like I'm getting more out of this than you are. " I say softly. " You're giving me so much. I feel bad for taking all of your money. "

Eddie shakes his head, his curles flying out. " You don't need to feel bad for anything. I promise. You're gonna help me out so much. I was stressing so bad trying to find someone to help with Rose. I was so worried I wouldn't find someone in time. I'm just giving you the resources to help you guys live comfortably. And you're not spending all of my money. I promise you. I wouldn't be doing all of this if I couldn't afford to. " Eddie says honestly.

" Thanks Ed. " I send him a small smile.

A part of me still feels a little bad but the other part is so excited. I've never done anything like this before. I can't wait to see what happens.

" The guys will be back from the gas station anytime soon and then we'll hit the road. It's probably best if you get all of your stuff put away so you're not flying around back here when we take off. " Eddie reaches into Rose' bunk where she's retreated back into. She lets out a loud squeal as she's pulled into the light by her father, her hands gripping tightly onto two small dolls.

" Daddy! "

Eddie chuckles at her frustrated shout. " I'm going to take this one on a walk to get her jitters out so she doesn't destroy the bus while we're on the road. " Eddie tickles Rose' tummy. " Isn't that right, baby? You're full of energy, aren't ya? Aren't ya? " His voice switches into a baby voice as he pulls his face close to his daughters.

She lets out a loud belly laugh. " No! Daddy Stop! " She shouts in between giggles.

Eddie sets Rose on his hip, careful not to bump her into anything. " We'll be back. " He says before leading her back to the enterence of the bus.

I watch as they walk away, a smile on my face.

This is going to be interesting.

#fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #x you #x female reader #stranger things x reader #x chubby reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #x plus size reader #stranger things x plus size reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson

[batsythoughts]

And last, but certainly not least, in the Yandere! Baby Trapping series, Tim Drake!

Warnings: Possessive tendencies, manipulative behavior and actions, dubious consent, forced pregnancy (obviously)

Smut under the cut. Minors please do not interact with this post.

Tim and you had been together since the third year of high school

You both had been close friends before deciding to officially start dating

Bruce and Alfred felt like it was a good idea with the fact that when you would stay over at night, Tim would actually get a few hours sleep

You had even been encouraged to stay over more often went you both got older as Tim would take better care of himself with you around

No one even mentioned when you unofficially moved in fully during the last couple of months before graduation

There had only been a few hiccups in the whole relationship, but it wasn't due to disagreements or miscommunication

It all started a few months after you both began dating and nervously went to Alfred about a strange rash you seemed to be developing

He quickly took you and Tim to a discreet health clinic with a doctor that he knew that Bruce trusted with his own sexual well being

It didn't take long for the doctor to get a few test ran before telling them to come back in a few days when the results would come in

Enter the embarrassment a few days later when going back to be told it was an allergic reaction to the latex or spermicide of the condoms

You quickly got a prescription for birth control that she believed would be okay for you to take

Cue one of the most awkward car rides to the pharmacy before going back to the manor

Alfred didn't lecture either of you for having sex, he merely explained he was glad you both tried taking precautions which only seemed to be more embarrassing

The next few weeks of being on the medicine proved to almost be worse as you got multiple side effects that were more harmful than Tim wanted you to go through

That lead to changing to a different prescription from the doctor, which you would be better for some time before getting a different set of side effects

It was a constant cycle of you being sick and relying on Tim for assistance with your health as you got medication after medication for years

Tim made sure you had appointments every few months that he made sure to go with you to also get himself tested with you for any infections

You both currently sat in the room as the doctor came in to listen to the issues you had with the most recent batch she ordered you to take

She waited until you were done talking before suggesting a new medicine that passed its trial runs with almost no complications to the people that had tested it

You gave her a hesitant nod while saying that you would give it a try

The doctor smile while writing on her clipboard and saying she would get it sent in right away

Before you both left, your doctor said she was going on an extended leave for about 7 months to spend time her wife and their new baby so she wouldn't be able to do the next regular check up that you all did every 3 months

You both nodded in understanding and wishing them all well before leaving to head to the store to get a few snacks

Tim made sure to grab plenty of your favorites as you quietly mumbled about some plans that you wanted to do for the weekend

You leaned into him with each step until you finally went to the counter to pay when he heard some quiet laughter nearby

The two of you saw a couple of boys you both had graduated with nudging each other whine making obscure gestures

They looked back over at you and Tim and began laughing louder than before as they point at him

Tim glares over at them while holding you closer before turning back to quickly pay to get you out of there

After finally getting back to the manor, Tim took you to his room so you both could get some rest

You got settled on the bed with Tim laying beside you when a tired cry sounded from your lips

You latched onto Tim as tears began to fall down your face while saying that you were tired of constantly being sick

He rubbed your back in an act of comfort while kissing the top of your head

"I know, sweetie. Hopefully this time things will work out for the better. And if it doesn't... then we can stop if you want to."

He continued holding you to his chest until you drifted into a fitful sleep

He waited until he was certain you were asleep before pulling out his phone to look at the weather

He gave a long sigh when he saw that a thunderstorm that would last for a majority of the night was still in the forecast

The distance sound of thunder made him look at the window then at you as he bit his lip

Tim turned his attention back to his phone as he went to a program he made that was linked to the computer system of the pharmacy you went to

He saw the new prescription was still pending to go through

He looked at the new medication that was labeled on his screen for a moment before he deleted it from the system

He scowled as he began pulling up different profiles of other people getting new medication and swapping what they were getting to something that works just as effectively with minimal side effects

He even went through people that have some of the same birth controls that were the worst for you and replacing it with some better ones that seemed to work out for many other people

He knew it was wrong to mess with such personal information of random strangers, but Tim couldn't risk anyone noticing only your prescription was changed

After doing all of the changes, Tim went back to your profile as he hesitated for a moment before inputting a fertility enhancer as a replacement

He had figured that maybe flushing your body of all the hormone blockage it had been going through and getting your regular hormones might help you for a little while before starting the new medicine

His thumb hovered over the button on his screen as he debated his mind on if he should actually go through with the plan

The moment he felt your body shiver as you gave a small whine, his resolve became absolute as he touched the screen to set the timer to go off in 2 hours to turn off the pharmacy's power for a few minutes for the program to change all the prescriptions he had fixed when the power did return

He set his phone aside as the storm quickly approached the city with incredible intensity in the thunder and flashes of lightning through the window

Tim sighed as he held you close while deciding to get some rest before you both would be called down for dinner

He kissed your forehead before making himself comfortable

"I'm gonna try and fix this for you. I'm gonna make you get better. I promise you."

The storm was a bit worse than what was originally reported as it did cause multiple parts of the city to lose power

Tim was grateful for that so he didn't need to worry about it being odd that the pharmacy was the only place that blacked out during the storm

You had gotten your regular reminder that your prescription would be ready to pick up tomorrow afternoon during breakfast

Tim quickly said he would get it for you so you could get some time rest as your body cleared out the current dosage you were taking

You gave him a soft thanks while taking his hand into yours with a squeeze

The next day, Tim was patiently waiting in the somewhat long line as the techs frantically worked on getting the rush taken care of

When it was finally Tim's turn, he gave them your name as the tech searched the computer before going back to get the bag

He took the bag and payed before heading back to the manor

He didn't have to look far to see you laying down in his room with a wet washcloth resting on your forehead

Setting the bag on the counter, he sat on the edge of the bed while asking if you needed him to get you anything

You shook your head while sitting up and reaching out for the medicine and the water bottle that was sitting close to it

Tim watched as you simply took the first dose without even bothering to glance at the papers with all the warnings on it

He smiled as you laid back down before getting into the bed beside you to pull up a movie that you both would watch until you both ended up taking a nap

The first week didn't have much of a change with your body still adjusting to being off the last birth control

The next few weeks after that had been slightly better. You still occasionally got nauseous but you were getting more energy along with regaining your appetite as you slowly got better and stronger

Tim wouldn't forget the huge smile you had when you carried a laundry basket with your clothes up the stairs and into his room on your own after a month of the change

Everyone in the family was happy that you were beginning to feel better and had found a 'birth control' that was 'working' for you

Tim couldn't help but love seeing you become the person that he fell in love with all over again

He began to enjoy having you so full of life again that he felt bad that when your doctor came back from vacation, you would have to change medicines again when she realized the screw up

But he decided to just enjoy spending this time with you for however long your good health would last

About three months into the extended relief he gave you, Tim was stumbling back into his room after a long patrol

He tried being quiet when getting into the bed, but couldn't hold in a small groan when laying on his side

You gave a small noise while opening an eye and smiling at Tim while leaning closer to him to ask if everything was alright

He grinned in return while giving a small nod and saying that it had just been a rough night

You listened to his every word with a tired smile until you leaned into to place your lips to his cheek

He couldn't hold back the smile as he kissed the tip of your nose in return

The soft kisses continued for a few moments before finally joining in a proper kiss

It only lasted a few seconds before pulling away to stare into each other's eyes

You moved your hands to hold onto him while going back in for another kiss

Tim couldn't help returning the affection as he pulled you closer by your waist

He began thinking about ending the whole interaction right there, to let it just be a wholesome moment between lovers

He was still worried about your health and the strain your body had went through for so long

You pulled away from the kiss before he could as one hand went to carefully grasp the hair at the base of his neck

You look into his eyes as your chest rose and fell with each breath you took

"Tim, I... I want you. Please."

Tim felt his heart race at how desperate you sounded for him

It had been so long since you had been so eager to initiate sex, hell it had been such a long time since you wanted to have sex in general

And you looked at him with those eyes he just couldn't say no to

It's not like your body had completely washed out the birth control of your system yet, right? The fertility pills were just to help aid the process for you.

Tim gave a nod as he quickly began pushing his clothes out of the way while helping you do the same

He lips trailed along your upper chest as you gently tugged at his hair with a raspy moan

One of his hands moved down to softly apply pressure to your clit as he carefully circled it under his fingers

He began sucking on the skin of your collarbone as he worked on making sure you would be ready for him

After a minute of playing with you, he slide his fingers down to begin gently fingering you in order to stretch you out

Tim listened to the blissful noises you let out as he added a second finger while using his thumb to continue stimulating your clit

You held onto him tighter as he kept pushing you close to the first orgasm you had in a long time

The soft, long whine you gave when he finally brought you to orgasm was the most beautiful sound that Tim had ever heard

He lifted his head up to watch your expression as you slowly calm down from the high

He didn't even push the interaction further as he simply watched you with a grin as your thighs lightly twitched against his hand

Though you weren't satisfied as you pulled him closer while eagerly finding his lips

He groaned as he lifted your leg up to rest over his as he grinds his cock against your thigh for a couple moments

Tim bit his lip when he eventually lined up to push each inch of his cock in slowly until your hips were flush together

He closed his eyes while sitting still to take a moment to calm down from how good he felt to be inside you again

You both stayed still for a moment as fingers simply glided over skin as a way to reconnect for an intimacy that had long been forgotten

Tim took a deep breath as he rolled his hips to finally begin moving

You both moaned at the friction that came with the movement as Tim wrapped an arm around your lower back

You pull him closer as you begin kissing him again as your fingers get tangled in his hair

He smiled as he continued to gently thrust into you with all the love he had

He panted between each kiss as his nails lightly dug into the skin of your hip

"I love you... so much baby... you feel so good around me..."

Tim took a deep breath to try and calm his body down when he began to get close to his release

He tried holding on for a little longer, but he couldn't help it when you clenched down on him as you pushed back against him

Tim let out a stuttered grunt as he came inside of you with a small shudder, wasting no time to move his fingers back to your clit

He rubbed it with quick, precise motions until your body shuddered while leaning into his hold

The room was filled with gasps for air as you both came down from the bliss

He was about to pull out when you shook your head while keeping a hold on him

"Please, just stay with me. Please, Tim."

He wanted to argue that he needed to get you cleaned up before falling asleep

But the soft pleading of your voice as you already began to drift back off made Tim smile with a nod

He ran his hand along the skin of your leg as he thought to himself about the entire situation

While it wasn't completely likely your body had cleared all the hormone blockers of the birth control out, if you did happen to get pregnant it wouldn't be the worse thing

You both had lived the vows that were always taken when anyone got married

Tim was there through the sickness for you until would be healthy again

You celebrated with him for the best of his life and supported him in the worst times

Besides, the thought of you holding a tiny mixture of him and you as they gave him a toothless smile stirred something in Tim

As he began to fall asleep, he gave you one last kiss while he dreamed for what your future could potentially become one day

The next few weeks had continued to shower you with good health as you helped Alfred around the manor and would go out on dates with Tim to do things around the city

Tim enjoyed seeing you so energetic to do anything with him now

You were even dragging him away from his responsibilities at times to have sex like you would when in high school

It was even better in Tim's opinion since you would spend time with him instead of going out to see anyone else

About a month after your doctor came back from her leave, Tim noticed you getting sick a couple of mornings each week

He saw the concern that radiated off of you after the fourth time you woke up and rushing to the bathroom

He quickly made you an appointment while telling you to rest for the day to get your energy up

"Just in case something is wrong. But I'm sure everything will turn out okay."

The day of your appointment, Tim made sure to bring along your new 'birth control' for the doctor to see just like she always requested that you did

When getting to the examination room, the doctor came in with a smile while greeting you both before asking if everything had been working out okay

You nodded while saying the new medicine had worked very well until a couple of weeks ago

Tim handed her the prescription while saying that he didn't understand why you had gotten the recent side effects so late

The doctor took the medicine into her hand to look it over when her face suddenly lost the calm touch

Panic filled her voice while asking if you had been taking it everyday since last seeing her all those months ago

You both nodded as she quickly said you would have to have a quick test to make sure everything was okay

You became nervous while following her out of the room and returning a few minutes later

Tim held your hand as he did his best to not act like he knew what was happening

It was another 15 minutes until the doctor came back in with a guarded expression as she sat down in front of you

She stumbled over her words while saying that there had been a glitch a few months back in the system of the pharmacy you used that changed around people's meds

She cleared her throat before saying you were one of the people effected and you had been taking a extremely strong fertility enhancer

You tightened your grip on Tim's hand as you begin to ask her for answers that Tim already knew

She looked down as she gave the news that you were about 3 weeks pregnant

You began fidgeting around as you looked at Tim with terrified eyes

He quickly pulled you into a firm hug as you quickly got told your options and how soon you would need to make a decision

You began to cry at all the sudden information, so Tim quickly said you both were leaving so you could calm down to think about this rationally

The ride back was quick as Tim helped you get out of the car to head to his room so you could be alone to think for awhile

Bruce and Alfred almost stopped to ask you what was wrong, but a quick look from Tim made them wait until he was alone to tell them the news

He helped get you to the bed and settled you down while cupping your cheek so you would look into his eyes

"I need you to think about what you want to about this. It needs to be the choice that you want, and you'll need some time to think about it. And I will be with you every step of the way with whatever you choose."

Tim placed a soft kiss to your forehead before getting up and walking out the door

He had a faint smile as he closed the door before heading downstairs

He knew what he was doing by leaving you alone in his room to think

He had you surrounded by memories of your connection with him while you were emotional for the seriousness of the choice you would make

As he got back downstairs, he informed Bruce and Alfred of the situation you were in because of the 'glitch' at the pharmacy

They both remain silent for a moment until asking what was going to happen

Tim said he was giving you time to think about what you wanted to do with the baby

The older men nodded in understanding while saying that they would help however they could for you and him

He waited for you in the kitchen while baking some of your favorite cookies to make you feel better after deciding on the correct path to go down

It was a little over 2 hours until you finally came walking down from his room

He saw the tear stains on your cheeks as you stared at him as you seemed to shrink into yourself

You couldn't even look up from the floor as softly spoke to him

"I don't want to get rid of it. The idea of it just... it feels wrong to think about."

Tim slowly went over to hold you to his chest while saying that he understood and would help you begin getting things taken care of

He lead you over to the cookies before telling you that the rest of the family would help you out in any way that you would need

He rested his head against yours as you hesitantly began to eat a couple as he had a miniature smirk on his face

The next few weeks, you had continued to occasionally get sick due to the rise in your hormones, but you were happy about the prospect of having a baby

But Tim helped make sure you ate enough for you and the baby so you would be healthy enough

He had bought multiple books to learn how to help you during the pregnancy and for the first year of the baby's life

Even made sure you had regular doctors appointments to make sure the baby's development was on the right track

He even made sure that you got plenty of photos to show the development to put in a scrapbook for you child when they were older

Currently you both were out shopping for new maternity clothes and a couple things for the baby

Tim watched you look through a rack of maternity shirts as you casual drank a smoothie that you had been craving that whole morning

After you had picked out a few outfits that you liked, the sound of your name being called caught the attention of both of you

Tim saw a couple of people you had been friends with come up to you with surprised expression

They looked at the cart Tim was pushing to see the clothes, a few blankets, and a small stuffed animal

You started a small conversation with them as they congratulated you while saying that you looked so much healthier than in school

You thanked them while smiling over at Tim and saying you both were very excited and that he was learning everything he could to help you to his best ability

He gave a bashful grin to the praise from you while giving a small shrug

Your friends eventually said goodbye before going off to finish their shopping

Tim grinned while still following you around the store as you grabbed a few more items until finally going to check out

You both watched the cashier carefully bag the items while telling you both to have a nice day

Tim put the bags into the car after he made sure you were settled into the passenger seat

After he got into the driver's seat, he took your hand to press a soft kiss to the knuckles

You smiled at him while leaning your head back before softly asking if he would drive to go get fries from a specific restaurant on the other side of town

Tim smiled as he kissed your knuckles again before starting the engine

"Honey, everything I do is to give you the best that you deserve. Why would I stop doing that now?"

#batman #tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake x you #yandere tim drake #yandere tim drake x reader

[thosefuzzywordfeelings]

Coming Home To You (Full Version)

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

cw; oral (f receiving), fingering, reader has a vagina, alcohol use (reader is fully able to consent), slight cum play?

Warm droplets of summer rain hit your skin as you stood just outside the bar, pay phone pressed to your ear as you spoke to your boyfriend. It was almost hard to hear him over the sound of the cars driving over the wet tarmac but you had to let him know you were safe.

In the least controlling way, Steve always asked you to call him whenever you went out at night, if it was to a bar or somewhere out of town; he’d sit by the landline, fiddling with the cord until he knew you were okay and what time you’d be back. Whenever he’d get home from grocery shopping or filling up the tank of his car, he’d slip a few quarters in your jacket pocket; knowing they’d be in there ready for your next night out. And so here you were, scrunched up next to the phone outside the only bar worth visiting. It was a little ways outside Hawkins so you’d let Steve know what time you got there and what time you were hoping to get home.

“I should be home in maybe, an hour? ‘Chelle just bought a whole other round of cocktails and I simply can’t afford to miss out. They have little tiny umbrellas in, Steve.” You said excitedly, briefly hearing him chuckle softly down the phone.

“That’s great baby. I’ll leave the light on, alright? Just…get home safe.” Steve said softly, smiling down the receiver as if you could see him before the two of you exchanged ‘love you’s and ‘byebyebye’s.

Walking back into the bar, the baseline to ‘West End Girls’ began to play, as you swayed back over to your friends, immediately sipping the cocktail that was placed in your hands. Wincing slightly, you looked at your friend.

“What is in this?” You giggled, carrying on sipping as your friend explained it had a gross but delicious mix of vodka, schnapps, some kind of fruit and more juice. Vodka? Good luck to Steve when you got home, you thought to yourself. Nonetheless, it was great and spending time with your friends was worth the sting of the headache you knew would spike in the morning. Since you'd all graduated and moved apart, it wasn't often you got to go out and meet with everyone at once. So the drinks were poured, the dancefloor was temporarily inhabited with you all and the bar tab was well used.

Time flew by and you checked the clock above the bar, noticing it said one a.m instead of midnight even though you'd sworn you'd just looked and it was eleven-thirty. Scrambling to get your coat and bag together, you made your way to the front door; tight hugs and cheek kisses exchanged as you said goodbye to your friends. "Steve needs me home." You yelled over the music. Now, there was no curfew on you, Steve would just want you home regardless, but the vodka and the homesickness churned through your veins; probing you to head home a little earlier than usual. The cab ride was fast, as you thanked the driver and got out, taking a big breath of fresh air as you looked up at the apartment building before you.

Steve hadn't taken his eyes off his book in a while, only to check the clock on the bedside table. No matter what, he'd wait up for you; wanting to see you tucked up under the sheets with a smile on your face before he'd even dream of closing his own eyes. The clock was now showing one-thirty a.m, and he knew it wouldn't be too long and you'd be back. As if by some sort of telekinesis, your keys would rattle in the doorway and you'd push the door open with a creak. Even though you knew he'd be up, you tried subtly to keep quiet. Putting your bag and coat down, you kicked off your shoes and headed towards the dim amber light illuminating the halllway.

"It's just me." You giggled as you pushed the bedroom door all the way open. And there he was. The most gorgeous man you'd ever seen, your boyfriend of almost two years although somehow everytime you saw him it was as if you'd stumbled upon a Greek god. Steve's eyes lit up from over the rim off the book, crinkling as he smiled up at you.

"Hi baby. Did you have a good night?" Steve spoke softly, sliding an old bookmark in the spine of his book and laying it on the bedside table. His hands folded up in his lap as he elant up against the headboard. Youd lean against the dresser, nodding with a sweet smile.

"Mhm..we danced and danced, and drank, then drank a little bit more. 'Chelle bought this round of, uh, like a fruity, bitter, sting-y, vodka cocktail and it was so good." You'd giggle, looking up at the ceiling for a moment as you tried to regain your composure a little bit, the alochol wearing off slightly as you found comfort in your safe space.

"Oh, so a very good night then, hm?" Steve replied with a smirk, sitting up a little straighter. Looking back down at him, you returned the smirk. Whenever you'd had cocktails, whether Steve was with you or not, you'd have had him within the hour of drinking and digesting them. Something about the spirits brought out a wild one within you, but also maybe it was the way his eyes darkened at you. Or the way his hair fell over his face a little. Right now, it was the peek of chest hair spilling out from the plain navy tee across his torso, the shadows of the lamplight against his freckled neck.

"Yeah…a good night…" You'd mumble, too focused on drinking in his features like you were dehydrated, his body the mirage of water in a hot desert. And boy, was he hot. You reached behind yourself, trying and failing to undo the zip of your dress. Steve reached out a hand, gesturing he'd help you with it. His eyes had a twinkle to them, a knowing of how turned on you'd become just from looking at him.

"Come here, baby. Let me do it." He spoke softly. His eyes too were raking over your body, watching the smoothness of your thighs as you knelt on the bed in front of him. Steve brought his hands up to your outer thighs, stroking them softly as they slid up to your hips, twisting them gently to get you to turn around. Spinning messily on your knees, you chuckled as you backed up and sat on them in front of him. His hand pulled your hair to one side, lips pressing against the curve of your neck and shoulder.

"Missed you." He whispered, fingers dragging down the zip of the dress as he pushed the straps down off your shoulders. With a sigh of relief, you spun round and crawled onto his lap. This was where you dreamed of coming home to, right here, sat on his thighs. Tangling your fingers in his hair, Steve stared up at you in awe - as he always did - fingertips digging into your waist.

"Missed you more." You giggled, as you finally let your lips press against his. Steve couldd taste the remnants of cocktail on your tongue, smiling into the kiss as he scrambled to push the bedsheets off of his legs and grip your body tighter to his. Within a split second, he had you laid out on the bed before him. You let your thighs drop open, needing him between them immediately as he looked down at you with that same smirk again. Leaning just above you, those chocolate irises would flicker over yours, taking in every furrow of your brow while his hands fumbled with the hem of your bunched up dress.

"Gonna show me how much you missed me?" Steve whispered against your lips, pulling your thighs up around his waist. You nodded sweetly, deepening the kiss and dragging him down closer to you. Something about the way Steve's demeanour changed when he needed you as much as you needed him made your body pulsate. It's like he could switch on this fiery, charged energy, mirroring yours.

"You know what I think, baby?" Steve asked, a saccharine sweet tone to his voice while his lips kissed small kisses along your jaw. Responding only with a light whimper, hips bucking up against Steve's, Steve would giggle at your neediness, his hands pinning your hips down against the bed. "I think - it's cute."

"What's cute?" A breathy whisper left your mouth as your hand knotted itself in the back of Steve's hair.

"When you walk through that door - all pretty - and desperate - " Steve mumbled between kisses, his lips parting as he let his tongue drag along the warm skin of your neck, " - just for me."

"Only you, Steve. Love coming back home to you."

His eyes darted up to yours whilst his mouth kept kissing down the crevice of your chest, tongue riding along your sternum as he smiled with a low "mhm". There it was again, the darkening of his eyes. Carnal brown, you've decided is the shade. A deep brown, bordering black, and it never left your own eyes even as he kissed along the inner of your thighs as they settled on his broad shoulders. Steve had your dress bunched up entirely around your waist, the top pulled down and crumpled as his hands flipped up the hem of the skirt.

"This is what I look forward to, you know that?" Steve mumbled against your bikini line, tracing the lace lining of your panties with his fingertips after he reached his arms around to settle on your hips. He knew this teasing would be worth it, he could see the dark dampness of your arousal glistening against the lace centimetres from his mouth.

"What?" You breathed out, leaning up on your elbows to watch him tease and touch you.

"Reminding you who's this is." Steve mumbled faux-sweetly, smiling kindly up at you before reaching his thumb down and running it over the swollen nub underneath your panties. A choked moan left your lips at the sudden contact, lip pulled between your teeth at this newfound confidence from your lover between your legs.

"Isn't it crazy?" He continued on, drawing small circles against your clit with the pad of his thumb, his eyes not leaving your face as he leant his head on your thigh cutely. God, he was beautiful. He didn't need you to respond, knowing your mind was too foggy with the faint sensations he was giving you. Steve could see it in your eyes, the way they were slightly glassy with lust as you stared down at him and his movements. The way your chest was heaving a little faster, subtly but noticeable enough to him.

"You're out there with your friends, dancing, sipping those fancy little cocktails - " Steve spoke lowly, his tone almost a sing-song as he hooked his fingers in the hem of your panties, adjusting himself up onto his knees so he could pull them down and off your legs. They were thrown somewhere in the room, you could care less, as you followed Steve's movement only.

"Dancing the night away on these pretty legs -" He carried on, settling on his stomach between your legs again as he kissed along your hipbones and along your mound gently. Hands coming to hold your hips down as he knew you'd buck up immediately, your cunt growing tired of the teasing. Steve could see your essence dripping down dangerously close to the sheets and he smirked, wetting his own lips with his tongue as he himself painfully held back from devouring you.

"And no matter who lays their fucking eyes on you, on this? It comes home to me. Hm?" Steve almost moaned as he watched your cunt spasm around nothing but the ownership that left his mouth. He couldn't help himself now, his tongue flattening against your slit as he licked a stripe up to your clit. When the bittersweet taste of your arousal finally hit his tastebuds, he couldn't hold back the feral moan that left his throat.

"God, you're all fucking mine. Beautiful, little pussy is all mine." He moaned almost as desperately as you had been as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking softly as he gave into his urges, giving you exactly what you let your mind wander off to when you were out with your friends; your boyfriends pretty tongue. Rutting your hips against it, guttural groans left your throat as Steve hummed contently against your clit.

"Steve, please - fuck -" You whimpered softly, letting your elbows drop and your head fall back against the bed. Your hands tug at his chestnut strands tightly, pulling out deeper moans from Steve's throat.

"Show me." He pulled back to say, bringing an arm around from your hips and underneath your thigh; his middle finger gliding through your glistening slit, before pushing inside gently and curling up to press against the spongy spot that left you breathless. "Show me it's mine."

You were speechless, his mouth immediately latching back onto your clit and sucking a little harder this time, combining with the finger beckoning inside you. You were tightening around his digit and he felt it.

"That's it. I can feel you honey. What if I press right -" Steve asked softly, his tone a stark contrast to his actions as he pushed a second finger inside and curved them both up against that one part that always brought you to the edge.

"Oh fuck - right there." You mewled, hips grinding down against his fingers as your eyes tried to focus; they were hazy as your soul tiptoed on the brink of cloud nine and earth.

"Yeah? What's gonna happen if I keep pressing right there baby?" Steve taunted, fucking his fingers a little faster into that spot as he kept his tongue playing with your clit.

Your eyes rolled back and closed, as you were barely holding on to the overwhelming sensation. "I'm gonna come - if - I'm - " You stutter softly, trying to lift your head to look at him, but you know if you caught a glimpse of him with his lips wrapped around your clit and his fingers fucking into you, you'd be gone.

"You're gonna come? That's my pretty girl. Coming home to me, and coming all over my fingers. Just as she should." Steve moaned, setting his mind and only goal as making you come for him. He could feel you tightening around him, seconds away from release as he sped his fingers up, matching the pace as he flicked his tongue at the same time against the swell of your clit.

With one last vibrating moan against your cunt, you were gone. Numb everywhere else but your lower half; your clit throbbing against Steve's tongue as he sucked it into his mouth one more time, his fingers slowing down so he could relish in the rhythmic spasms around them. His spare arm held your hips as best it could, but Steve craved your squirming. His eyes travelled up your body as he watched you come, humming sweetly against you as he felt more of your essence coat his palm and his chin. Just how he liked it.

"You're so good to me, sweetheart." Steve whispered as he pressed his lips to the crook of your thighs and hips, kissing along your tummy and back up the route he came down not too long ago. Stilling his fingers for a moment as you recollected yourself and opened your eyes, his spare hand stroked the sweat-dampened hair from your forehead. You smiled up at him dazily, post-orgasm bliss etched onto your face. Letting your tongue fall out against your lower lip, Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at your expression.

"What's this now?" He asked with a slight chuckle.

"Let me taste myself." You'd whisper, before resuming your expression. Steve's aching cock twitched in his pyjama pants as he gently slid his fingers from inside you and straight onto your tongue. He watched intently as you lapped up the clear dew from his fingers, feeling a deep need building. Instinctively, his hips ground down against yours as you wrapped your lips around them, sucking hard as you smiled and kept your gaze on his.

"Want me to really show you I'm yours?" You'd purr, letting your hand reach down to grip the stiff outline of his cock through his plaid pants. Steve's eyes fluttered shut at the contact, knowing you were going to ruin him and yet be the death of him simultaneously. Nonetheless, you were his.

#steve harrington smut #steve harrington #stranger things smut #s4 steve harrington #Steve x fem reader #Steve Harrington x you #joe keery smut #joe keery characters #smut

[wavesmp3]

[wjh] taking chances

wen junhui (svt) x reader - wc. 2.1k - genre: angst ish, ex somethings to current somethings (you'll see) - warnings: some cursing i think

you know water. you know how it churns and groans into a storm. how it’s calm on a cool, spring day. how it calls one to it, to watch and be lost in the ebb and flow of the waves. you know water. and it’s because you know water that you know when it’s time to return to it.

jun watches you take your first steps into what used to be home. you watch your feet as they take each of the steps before the entryway, one by one. slowly. you pause before opening the door, hand hovering just above the doorknob that’s so familiar to you both. 

“you don’t have to do this, you know.” you tell him abruptly. it’s just a couple bags. i can take it from here.”

jun watches you closely as you say it. the way your lips turn down and voice gets breathier at the end of each sentence, as if the words are losing their steam halfway between your throat and your mouth. your hair looks the same as it did when you moved away. your eyes are a couple years older, but still hold the sunlight the way they did when you guys were 14. for a quiet, blissful moment, jun lets himself believe that you haven’t changed. that you’re still the you that left your sleepy hometown for university. still the you that told jun maybe the two of you could try again whenever you got back. the same you that said nothing when he asked if you even plan on coming back. he looks for the scar you got when you were younger, playing volleyball on the beach after school. he can’t find it.

he clears his throat. things have changed. 

“i don’t mind.” is all he says before you open the door home. 

—

he sees you again at the bonfire that night, a tradition in your hometown to signify the start of summer that always falls on the first friday in may. a small thing for locals to enjoy before the town is overrun with tourists and the beautiful beaches are filled with strangers at every turn. 

you’re talking to jihoon, catching up and showing him something on your phone. you look like an entirely different person than the one he left this morning. earlier, your entire face was tight and scrunched up, the way it always did during exams. but now, you look calmed, relaxed, jaw finally unclenched and shoulders down. jihoon says something to make you laugh, and jun can hear the sound all the way from the other side of the fire, over soonyoung’s yells at chan and over his own heart. the bonfire flashes in his face, chan yells back at soonyoung, and you’re left with a smile. jun feels a warm rush run from his head to his arms. he swallows it down with a gulp of his drink. 

you catch his eyes across the beach, eyebrows raising a tiny bit and drink lifted to him. a small hello thrown across the chaos of the bonfire and all your friends. his feet are leading him towards you before he can even think to stop them. 

“hey.” you smile, clinking your bottle against his cup. 

“hi.” he returns, taking another sip.

“i think i’ve officially said hi to everyone now.” you declare, staring out at the group. jun wonders what must be running through your mind right now. are you thinking of the friends you made at university? are you wishing it was them here with you right now instead of him? 

but then you watch jeonghan and wonwoo race across the beach followed by them arguing whether jeonghan cheated or not, and say, “i missed this.”

you wave away the smoke that drifts over from the fire and tap your index finger against the neck of your beer. jun says, “me too.”

the two of you stand there for a while. you watching the fire grow. jun watching you. he’s instantly transported back to your last bonfire here. the one right after graduation, during which you found out that you got into a university a thousand miles away. jun wishes he had the foresight to be happy for you, to recognize that you got into your dream program at your dream school. he wishes he had celebrated with you, with everyone, relished in the bittersweet knowledge that this would be your last bonfire together like this. but jun hadn’t. instead, jun took you aside and told you that school would be hard, too hard maybe. that maybe you should reconsider. maybe you should be like the ones before and go to a university close enough to home to visit every other weekend. and underneath the million reasons he gave you to not go was the confession that he had been holding back since the start of that year, a wildcard that maybe you saw coming or maybe you didn’t. either way, when he finally told you how much he liked you, how he had for so long, you didn’t say it back. you didn’t even acknowledge any of the bullshit reasons he gave before. instead, you kissed him softly, an overwhelmingly high school press of lips together, and told him, you’re sorry. not now, but maybe later.

you catch him staring. is it later now?

"what?" you ask with a laugh.

jun shakes his head quickly. “no, nothing. just…” he lets out a breath, averting his eyes from your questioning gaze. “we really missed you while you were gone.” 

you roll your eyes. “you act like i’m the only one that left home. seungkwan and minghao also moved away.”

“true.” he admits, at which you let out a small ‘thank you’ under your breath. “but you were the first.”

and there’s something in the way jun says it that makes your lips part, readying to say something in response, but nothing comes out. you gulp down whatever you really wanted to say and replace it with a quiet. “well, i’m back now.”

jun squints at you, remembering how badly you wanted to leave at the end of high school, remembering how upset you were this morning at the reality of being back. jun doesn’t stop to think of it another way. he doesn’t stop to conjure up some other reason for the way you were acting this morning versus how you seem to be now. instead, he gives it the same one he gave himself 4 years ago to answer why you left–”but you hate this place.”

your entire body is visibly taken aback by the question, or maybe the bluntness of it. and when jun sees the way your face contorts into something akin to offense, he finds himself wanting to chase after the reckless words and shove them back inside his stomach. 4 years later and jun still doesn’t know which words are the right ones to say. 4 years later and he still resents you for leaving.

you never get to answer the question. instead, joshua appears quoting a line from twilight and dragging you away complaining that you hadn’t come to say hi to him yet. 

you watch jun as you walk off, sourly muttering, “i guess i forgot one.”

the only thing jun can think of then is how selfishly he stole the smile from your face. 

—

jun doesn't really talk to anyone else for the rest of the bonfire. he teeters around the edge only conversing if someone else initiates it first and watching you converse happily with everyone else. he turns his gaze away from you and to the sea. he watches the water crumble against the sand and crawl back into the ocean, over and over again. there’s comfort in the image and in the sound. it’s why his family moved here . it’s why every summer tourists flock here and stay for months complaining of the day they must inevitably go back. all jun’s life, he’s only known people to enter. enter his life, his space, his routine. and when you left for university, it was the first time in his life that someone had left. 

“hey,” seokmin says, sitting down next to jun in the sand, “look at this.”

seokmin hands jun an old photograph. it was hardly a very sentimental photo, rather an old class picture from when jun was either 10 or 12. one of those forced smiles and terribly timed pictures every class was forced to take once a year. at the time of this picture, jun was friends with soonyoung and no one else. but on the other side of the class stands you and wonwoo. best friends at this age. that makes him smile. 

he looks up to thank seokmin, who is already gone, dancing with mingyu to some song blasting through the speakers. 

jun goes back to the picture, enraptured in a life that used to be his. when he does looks up, he finds himself face to face with you. 

“can i sit?” you ask casually. like you guys haven’t been in this weird stalemate for the past four years. he nods, and you do.  

you point to jihoon in the old school photograph, snickering, “god, look at his hair.” 

jun takes a good look at it, laughing at the bowl haircut, complete with a gravity defying cowlick in the back. “i don’t know how his parents let him leave the house like that.”

you point out some other classmates, asking what they’ve been up to. jun fills you in on all of them. but eventually, you run out of classmates, and the picture starts to feel like another reminder of what could have been instead of what is. jun chooses to look back at the water.

“do you still surf?” you ask him quietly. 

“not really.” he answers, biting back the memory of trying to teach you at 15. 

“jun.” you say with a voice that forces him to finally look your way. he does, and he feels as stupidly enamored as he did at 17. “i know you don’t understand why i left, but i don't hate this place. i never…” you gulp, looking for the words in the air between you and him. you find it in the photograph still nestled in his hands. “how could i hate it here?” you say, gesturing to 10 year old you, “this is my home.”

“tell me again then,” jun begins, wondering inwardly if he should even be speaking anymore, “why you had to leave it so bad?”

you shake your head. “i had a chance i had to take.”

jun doesn’t say anything back. you place a hand on his knee. 

“i hate that leaving made it so weird between us.”

jun stares at your hand on his knee silently. 

“i want us to go back to the way we were.”

you scoot closer to him. he shivers.

“don’t you?”

suddenly, he can feel your breath hitting the base of his neck. his entire body is frozen in place, watching your eyes flutter shut, watching his lips hover beside yours. 

finally, he gets the massive kick in the gut he needs to ask, “why’d you come back?”

you meet his eyes, and there’s a million subliminal messages in them when you say, “there was one more chance i wanted to take.”

the confession is a spell, compelling jun to let you kiss him and allowing himself to kiss you back. and this kiss, in stark contrast to the one you both shared at your last bonfire, has nothing high school about it. it’s four years of wanting and longing crushed into a tangle of tongue and lips. it’s biting and breathless. you pull at his knee. he grabs the back of your neck. 

when you do finally pull away, you’re smiling again. jun is too. you keep your face right next to his, breathing him in, taking him in for all his wrong words and bitterness. 

somewhere in the back of his mind, jun knows that he’d always let you have him like this. and beneath that, buried under the rush of the kiss, he knows that you won’t want him like this for long. he knows he’s only a blip of a hometown romance in a life that’s foreign to him and has been since the moment you left. 

but that doesn’t stop him from drinking you in, pulling your face back to his and letting his tongue run over your teeth. it doesn’t stop him from giving himself up to you over and over again. 

jun is just another chance for you to take. and as long as it’s there, he prays you take it. 

#jun scenarios #jun imagines #junhui x reader #jun x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt scenarios #junhui scenarios #junhui imagines #junhui fanfic #jun fanfic #svt fanfic #seventeen fanfic #mine #taking chances #i present to you yet another sea inspired fic #jun is 2 for 2 with sea fics on this blog rn. poor guy

[hwajin]

✞ 「 .✶۪ .° ✞ : 𝐇 𝐈 — 𝐋 𝐈 𝐓 𝐄 !! : a series

☆ — chapter one; Soda Pop : teaser

✞ 「 .✶۪ : see series masterlist and warnings here

✞ 「 .✶۪ : every chapter will have it's own warnings atop the general ones

✞ 「 .✶۪ : this part will appear altered in the series

You sat behind your shabby, wooden desk in the hot, sweat-scented classroom, dimming out the chattering and gossip all around you with your earphones, scribbling doodles and lyrics into your notebook. Your blue pen materialized hearts and clouds and words into your yellowish piece of paper as you waited for Mr. Hwang to enter the classroom, as you waited for the two hours of boredom to pass as quickly as it was possible – or for your teacher to talk of a subject which could interest you, for that matter.

The heavy creak of the door and the following footsteps were the reason you stopped the music which blasted in your eardrums before taking out your earphones, the silhouette of your teacher strutting through the now murmuring classroom, whispers which sounded like questions, and a general confusion spread between the students; unbeknownst to you, yet, as you packed away your phone and opened your notebook on last weeks’ notes, before you finally converted your eyes to the front, finally caught a peak of you teacher; though it wasn’t the teacher you’ve expected to walk into the classroom, not Mr. Hwang, and your jaw would have hit the rough wood of your table if you’d had been any slower at gathering yourself. The man – not a stranger, though unseen and unthought of by you for the past five years – made his way into the spacy classroom, brown briefcase in hand, white dress shirt hugging the lines of his muscles, the ones on his arms exposed as he’d rolled up his sleeves. His attire was missing the tie you remembered him in, and, different to five years ago, the two top buttons of his shirt lay open around his chest – not showing inappropriate skin, though enough to tease, almost, to make you drool in your seat. His black dress pants moved with him as he settled behind his desk, briefcase on the table, one watch-adorned wrist making its’ way into his pants’ pocket leisurely as he looked around the class. He was visibly older, now that you had a good view of him – smile lines deeper, skin more textured, a certain calmness writing his pleasant features –he was just as attractive as you remembered him to be; more so, you’d dare to argue.

“Hi, my name is Mr. Bahng. Professor Hwang suddenly fell ill, unfortunately, and I’ll be his substitute teacher for the time being. I normally don’t teach college classes, but other professors sadly didn’t have the time – I’m well acquainted with Professor Hwang, though, so I agreed to take over his class for a few weeks.”

He was friendly. A charming smile adorned his face, a slight blush played around his nose as he looked around the room, looking at each student for a second or two before locking eyes with the next. For closure, for trust. Then he locked eyes with you, and it felt just like five years ago, when you were fresh eighteen years old, and a bored high school student in your last year before graduation.

☆.☆.☆

“I’ve never been so excited for class, oh my god.”

You had sat giddily in your seat, anticipating the arrival of your new music teacher. You had only seen him once so far, last week, when he had freshly relocated to the high school you’d gone to, and had been, quite literally and much to Felix’s misery and irritation, head over heels for the man – not because your friend had borne a crush for you; simply because you’d been utterly annoying with your high school love for your teacher. You’d known your yearning had been futile even back then, had known that Mr. Bahng wasn’t possibly interested in a mere girl who had just turned eighteen, yet you’d been young and in need for fun distraction, for amusement. And if that meant drooling over a young, hot teacher who had been just your type, it seemed, then you couldn’t complain.

Next to you, Felix had huffed in amusement as you kept eyeing the entrance door of the classroom, then the clock on the wall in front of you, then the door again. He had prepped his material for class already, in much contrast to your own entirely empty desk; saved for a piece of paper and a pen borrowed from your dearest high school friend.

“Your crush is getting unhealthy… he’s not gonna fuck you, you know.”

Felix hadn’t been judging, yet his voice had been teasing. You’d shot him a glance, had tsked at him which your friend returned with a mocking impression of you – fluttering eye-lids, airy lashes, a dumb-ish smile adorning his face.

“I know he’s not gonna fuck me… that’s not the point, though. Class is boring, and you take your academics way too serious to distract me from it.”, you’d retorted sarcastically, which Felix had accepted with a light-hearted scoff, going back to his notes from last week. You hadn’t been wrong; he wanted to get into college, and with good grades preferably. He’d known you had other priorities; he’d respected, enjoyed, even, your passion for music, and you’d had always have the talent for it. The two of you had always been inherently different, though it had never bothered your friendship in the slightest.

Just as Felix had been about to retort with a snarky comment – or another far too accurate impression of your behaviour whenever Mr. Bahng was around – the door to the classroom had opened, and your music teacher had walked in – dress shirt buttoned up all the way, sleeves rolled down even in the hot weather, a careful tie adorning his fit. There’d been fewer lines of muscle back then, though they had been prominent enough to drive your teenage mind utterly insane. Your eyes had been glued onto him as he had welcomed the class, and Felix had struggled containing his laughter; you had been bashing your eyes at him, and you had been wearing a stupid smile around your lips at a mere look at him, just like your friend had mocked about earlier – and you had been either unaware of it, or you hadn’t been bothered enough to care.

You had eyed your teacher the entire lesson, and as much as Felix had wanted to stay focused, he had giggled and laughed at you, amused at your heart-eyes for someone so entirely unattainable. More often than once you had been in need to copy Felix’s notes because your thoughts – and eyes – had been elsewhere than the board, and more often than not Felix had pretended to stop helping you out in class any further, until you’d gotten over your crush; only in light hearted manner, though, because he couldn’t truly deny you of his help, would have felt far too bad to. Though, Felix had always admired your self-reflection in the matter of Mr. Bahng – there hadn’t been one incident in which you’d been unaware of the hopelessness and the unattainability your one-sided love presented – much to his dismay, because during free windows you would complain about it to no end –; and altogether, you had never spoken of love, in the first place. It had been butterflies, distraction from lessons, stupidity and immaturity – and you had always been aware of it; had always been aware of the impossibility.

Now, five years later, that same teacher was standing before you, substituting your music professor, looking as good as you remembered him to; better yet, even. He stood before you — and everything seemed suddenly less impossible, palpable, almost.

series taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/ removed!): @chrizzztopherbang @qtieskz @rylea08 @miss-fallon @sikebishes @h0n3yj4y @lashaemorow

general taglist: @es-kay-zee @jeyelleohe @angelwonie @yvniek4ng @ppiri-bahng @bintificreads @svintsandghosts @llunapastell @sensitiveandhungry @minniesvenus @junebug032 @noellllslut @wolfennracha @unexceptional-h @like-a-diamondinthesky @katsukis1wife @astraystayyh

#skz smut #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #han jisung smut #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader

[nicole-timey-wimey-stuff]

Pretty Little Letter’s

Dbf Negan Smith x Fem Reader

Synopsis - After finishing college you decide to on a gap year to take a breather after many years of hard work. Setting out to travel the country, you promise to write to your dad every week, what happens when his best friend Negan makes you promise to write to him too.

Warnings- No apocalypse AU, dads best friend, large age gap, feelings, love confessions, adventures, reader travelling, reader described as female, mentions of cheating, Negan is the one cheated on in this fic by ex wife, struggles with feelings, I took the John Winchester idea and made Negan a mechanic, obviously not canon at all, vague mentions of sex, but no actual smut in this chapter. There will be in later chapters though so 18+ only please.

Let me know if I’ve left anything out

Word count - 6.6K (sorry it’s a long one)

This is part one of two chapters in this mini series.

_______________________________________

Tomorrow was the day, the day you’ve been waiting for, the day you were leaving for an adventure. After 4 years of hard work and dedication, you had graduated Yale University with honours. You’d surpassed anything you felt you could accomplish, with the amazing support of your dad, who had raised you single-handedly. He has supported you throughout your life from scrapped knees and boo boos as a child, to finishing school with the grades you needed to get into Yale.

It was a dream you’d always had, even as a child. You’d pinned up pictures of the college on your wall, telling your dad ‘one day I’ll be here!’ When you received the letter you’d ripped it open with such ferocity, your dad was sure you’d shred your hands. Only to crumple to the floor in floods of tears, walking towards you he settles next to you pulling you in for a big hug, “Hey don’t worry baby girl, it’s not the end of the world we still have other letters coming, other options. No matter what I’m soo proud of you my darling girl” he cooed. You shook your head no, trying to steady your breath “No d…..ad” you stuttered “We did it, I got in, I did it dad! I got in” you continued through staggered breaths, he reached over and pulled it from your grasp reading the words carefully, his hand clamped over his mouth in shock. He started crying too, pulling you in tighter, letting his tears fall freely.

Being the amazing father he was, hours later he was on the phone with his oldest and closest friend Negan, explaining you’d got in, you’d done it, and if Negan could look for a house up there for you both, Negan lived in a small town in Connecticut not too far from Yale. He’d instantly agreed, finding you a lovely 3 bedroom home only a street away from himself. Your dad had been there behind you every step of your life, and he wasn’t about to let this one be any different.

So you packed up your life, making the lengthy trip from Virgina to Connecticut.

The experience has been amazing, you’ve loved every second of college. You came home every night excitedly animating your days to your dad, and many days to Negan too. He would be over often for dinners, you guys also going over his frequently too, the three of you spent many evenings together BBQs, football games, board game nights, you name it. You’d spent a lot of the last 4 years with Negan, he was a great friend to your dad. They’d kept in contact when he had moved from Virgina with his wife, because she wanted to be able to commute to New York easily. She took to the big corporate job like a fish to water, but she began coming home to Negan less and less, giving excuses about early starts and having to stay in some fancy hotel. Unfortunately one day when he made a trip to the city to surprise her, he’d found her rolling around the bed with her boss.

He called later that day to tell your dad what happened, your dad being the great person he is dropped everything and came up here to be with him, leaving you with your grandma for a few weeks.

After a lengthy divorce he’d stuck it out in the sleepy town, deciding he didn’t want to upheave his life once again. You hadn’t known Negan too well then, your dad called him often and you knew his voice, that deep rumbling voice, from their calls. You’d even answered the phone to him a few times, making polite small talk until your dad could take over. But he’d moved to Connecticut when you were only 2 years old, so you’d never really gotten to know him.

That all changed when you moved to start Yale, and you’d be lying if you hadn’t developed an enormous crush on the older man. Gods was he beautiful, he was funny sometimes making you actually cry from laughter. He was kind, loyal, owned his own mechanics garage, he was an all round great guy, and you had no idea why no one had snapped him up yet. Though secretly you were thankful no one had, because the mere thought stirred an ugly pit of jealousy in your stomach.

But tonight things were perfect, you were having a farewell dinner with the two men in your life, sat around the coffee table on your living room floor, eating pizza, heads thrown back in laughter as you whoop your dads ass at monopoly.

“Oh come on y/n not another hotel” your dad pleads playfully.

“I’m afraid so dad, told you the light blue were worth buying, the houses are cheap to buy, I can get as many as I want” you goad in giggles.

“She has you there man! I’d add another to Euston Road if I were you sweetheart! Finish him off” Negan jests.

“Don’t encourage her!” Your dad grumbles, causing you and Negan to roll in laughter even more.

“You know what I think I will” you reply adding another hotel.

Your dad takes his next roll landing on one of your hotel properties,

“Oh shit man! That’s you done isn’t it” Negan teases. Your dad stands then playfully tips the board over, making you gasp in mock shock before falling into giggles once again, in the moment you end up leaning your head against Negan’s shoulder.

“Right that’s it I’m done with this silly game, who wants another beer” your dad laughs.

“Me” you say, Negan nodding in unison his breath slightly shaken from your head still leaning against his shoulder, like it belongs there which in his mind it does. Man he’s dreading you leaving for a year, every time he thinks about it, there’s a constricting feeling in his heart. He brings his arm around you pulling you closer for a second, taking a moment to bask in your warmth. He gives you a quick squeeze, before moving to start packing away the game.

You watch him with a warm smile on your face, my goodness were you going to miss him. But you needed this, you needed to stand on your own two feet and experience some living. You also needed to get over this silly crush, he was 20 years older than you for Christ sake, he probably looked at you like a niece. He definitely wouldn’t return your affections, so you should go and clear your head. See some of the world, meet people and have experiences.

They always say you discover yourself while travelling alone.

You wanted to see if that was true.

But leaving these two behind would be hard, even if it wasn’t forever a year was still a long time. “So sweetheart your really leaving us tomorrow?” Negan asks, “Yup! Just like Bilbo Baggins I’m off on an adventure” you giggle, trying to make light it it, when in fact your heart is sinking at the thought. “Not gonna be the same without you here darlin’” he affirms, there’s a smile on his face but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes, and those beautiful dimples aren’t showing. For a second you wonder if he returns your feelings, but that wouldn’t make any sense so you push the idea out of your mind.

Your dad arrives back 3 beers in his hands, “I can’t believe my baby girl is going out into the world tomorrow, you promise to write to me every week yeah??” Your dad asks. “You know I can just text you? And call you right?” You answer, “Yeah you can call too, but I want hand written letters to have a part of you still coming home every week” he replies voice sounding emotional, this was a big step for him you had never been away from your dad before. Getting up you give him a big hug, “Ok dad I’ll write to you every week and I’ll send you postcards, so you can see where I’ve been!” You promise. “Yeah that sounds great baby girl” he affirms.

After your dad passes out snoring on the couch, you clean up the pizza boxes with Negan. While you’ve moved on to clearing up the kitchen he stands in the doorway watching you, “You know sweet cheeks, I’d love for some of those hand written letters too” he expresses. Looking up at him in shock, you ask “Really?”, “Yeah I want to hear everything your doing, plus it would be nice to have a part of you here with me too, like I said sweetheart it won’t be the same here without ya” he replies stepping closer, gently brushing a hair out of your face, hazel eyes bearing into you. “Ok Negan I’ll write to you too”, “Good” he sighs, leaning in he kisses your head wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. “Gonna miss ya kid”, “Yeah I’ll miss you too” you reply.

Letting him out the door you say your goodbyes, before tucking a blanket over your dad.

This was going to be hard……

_______________________________________

You’ve been travelling a week now, slowly making your way down south to Florida. You made sure to stop for a few nights at your grandmas, you loved spending time with her, just like your dad she was a sweet soul, and you’d really enjoyed some long chats and a homemade meal.

The last morning of your stay you popped by taking a look at the house you grew up in, you always wondered if your mother had ever stopped by to see you. Missing you because you’d moved away, would she be proud that you’d made it to Yale, probably not. She’s never cared enough to call, she upped and left the day after you were born. Just left you in the hospital, for your dad to find when he came back in after some rest at home. Leaving your dad to step into both parents roles, which he took on without complaint bringing you up in a home full of love and laughter, you were beyond blessed to have been given him as your dad.

With that you tucked those thoughts away, your dad and grandma love you, are proud of you and support you. You didn’t need anyone else, well except maybe Negan.

By the end of your first week you’d made it to the Croatan National Forest, in North Carolina. You decided to stop here and see the sights, maybe do some hiking, some swimming on the coast. You found a cute little beach rental you booked for a few nights, it looked out to the river which joined the ocean. It was peaceful here, kids had all gone back to school and the soft autumn breeze was setting a chill in the air. So the beach was practically empty, with the exception of a few dog walkers.

Dark skies started settling in, greys and blacks filling the vast space, the clouds looked as if they were rolling towards you. A storm was coming which emitted some excitement in you, to sit there and watch them was one of your most favourite things to do, especially if the lightning was close and you could see it crack across the sky.

Settling in the bay of the bedroom window, you looked out at the water, pulling out your notebook you got to writing your dad his first letter. Folding it up you sealed in in an envelope, adding your home address and a stamp. Then you began to write Negan’s,

Dear Negan,

I’ve made it to North Carolina, to the Croatan National Forest. I’m staying in a really cute little beach house, which was cheap due to the holidays being over. I’m currently sat watching a storm roll in, windows open enjoying the breeze.

I stopped to see Grandma on the way down, she sends her love to Dad and you. She still hasn’t changed bless her, I also stopped by my old neighbourhood to see the house. I didn't feel as sad seeing it as I thought I would. I think that’s because you’ve made our lives so much more incredible. I miss you both it’s odd being without Dad for the first time, but it’s also strange being without you too now. You’ve ingrained yourself into my life now and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I think I’ll take a swim tomorrow if the weather allows it, I may even swim in the rain if I can. So there you go, you can picture me dancing under the storm.

Yours truly

Y/N

Xx

You sealed the letter, writing his address and placing another stamp. Maybe you poured a bit of how you feel about him in there but it felt good to let some of it out, like it was healing a small part of you.

You ran down to the post box before the rain hit, dropping the letters in and running back to your temporary home. Closing the door just as the torrential downpour started. “Phew that was close” you giggle. That evening you sat in your window watching the storm, the bright lightning cracked above illuminating the beach. Rain pouring and winds blowing, while you stayed cozy eating your soup admiring natures fierce show.

When morning came around it was still raining, though the storm had passed. You threw on your bathing suit and braved the weather, running into the water with a loud gasp as the cool liquid surrounded you. You laid back watching the rain fall from the sky, in that moment you’d never felt so free.

_______________________________________

Back home Negan received his letter a few days later, he’d been checking his post box every single day, like a man deranged. ‘Finally’ he thought tearing open the envelope before he even made in back inside. Sitting down at his dining room table he read your words, smile adorning his features, dimples pulling deep. ‘Ingrained himself into your life, and you wouldn’t change it for the world’ for the first time he allowed himself to hope, that just maybe you returned his feelings.

Was this your way of telling him so? He didn’t know but he needed to find out, he’d have to play this safe though, edge it out of you slowly, god only knows what would happen if he assumed wrong, you’d tell your Dad no doubt, he’d loose you and his best friend in one go, he couldn’t risk that.

Pulling out his phone he sent you a message,

‘Hey sweetheart,

Thank you for my little letter, I hope you had fun swimming and dancing in the storm, though I also hope you stayed safe.

You’ve also ingrained yourself into my life angel face, came into it like a spitfire but I wouldn’t have it any other way either. Enjoy your next week, just make sure you stay safe.

Negan

Xxx

He sent the text, and waited under baited breath for a response. He almost jumped out of his chair when his phone pinged.

Hi Negan

Your welcome, I can assure you I am staying safe, I’m checking my oil and water levels too, as promised. Car is running smooth still :)

‘Spitfire’? I wouldn’t say that! But I’m glad you wouldn’t have it any other way because your stuck with me now.

I’ll send you your next letter same time this week, till then ……

Y/N

Xxx

He smiles to himself once more, you most certainly are a spitfire. But you’re also the best thing to ever come into his life, he hopes one day he’ll be able to tell you so.

_______________________________________

End of your second week, it’s rushed by so fast and you can’t believe your already in Jacksonville Florida. Today your sat on the beach it’s much warmer here, no sign of any autumn breeze and the sunny weather bringing many people to the beach. Your currently writing to your dad again while listening to the soft waves crashing onto the shore. Finishing his letter you once again start writing one to Negan,

Dear Negan,

What a week I’ve had! Can you believe I’m already in Florida? Today I’m sat on Jacksonville beach watching the waves crashing. It’s much busier here and much warmer, apparently there’s a swell coming in tomorrow so I may try surfing. I’ll be sure to send you both some hilarious pictures, of me falling on my face.

I’m staying two nights here in a hotel overlooking the beach, the buildings here on the coast are like mini skyscrapers. I think they may be too tall, it ruins the feel of the place. My next move may be Orlando Disney, I’ve always wanted to go! May even get made into a Disney princess! Because hey you only live once, which one should I go for?

I’m starting to really miss you both, how’s my dad coping? I hope my boys are looking after each other,

Well I’m going to go find somewhere for dinner, speak soon.

Y/N

Xxx

Getting up you brush the gritty sand off your legs, setting out on a mission to find somewhere to post these letters. After exploring a few busy streets, you see it, Bingo! You spot the blue metal of the US postal boxes, slotting in your letters before finding a diner to eat dinner in.

Back home 48 hours later Negan received your second letter, “my boys” he reads, the thought of being yours makes his cheeks flush, and his heart quicken. He feels like a teenage boy again at 52 years old, he’d be yours in a heartbeat if you’d ask him. But he knows it’s out of the question, your his best friends kid, and what would you want with an old man? Your so beautiful and he doesn’t feel he’s got much to offer you at this point of his life. Even so he will allow himself to enjoy these letters, living in a little daydream for a while.

After pacing his kitchen for a good ten minutes he decides he has to talk to you, the words “my boys” still swirling around his head. Giving in and pulling out his phone he sends you a text,

Hey sweetheart

I remember Jacksonville well, I visited about 15 years ago now. I went to a work conference there. Your right the buildings are too tall beside the ocean, definitely not one of my favourite beaches.

Surfing? How did that turn out I’m still waiting on this photo.

“Your boys hey” I like the sound of that darlin. But yeah I’m making sure your dad cooks for himself, and I fixed his lawn mower for him, so your gardens looking a lot better now!

Make sure you continue to stay safe sweetheart, I hope you enjoy Disney, but you don’t need to dress up to be a princess you’ve always been one.

Negan

Xx

Ping

His heart is beating rapidly in his chest as he opens your reply,

Hey Negan

Actually I did ok surfing, I managed to stand up and everything lol

Xx

Ping

He opens the slightly blurry image of you standing up on a large longboard, big smile on your face. You look so beautiful and so happy.

Ping

So as you can see, not a complete disaster! I went to Disney world yesterday, it was great fun but all in all too many people about. I’ve set off west now aiming in a general direction of New Orleans, as I’ve always wanted to go. I think it may take a week or two to get there though!

And don’t worry I will be careful I promise. You’ll always be my boys

Y/n

Xxx

He smiles to himself you were going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.

Ok sweetheart

Look at you! You’re a natural! Well I’ll wait with bated breath until your next letter, I think you should send two a week I Think one a week is just too long to wait for sweet cheeks.

Negan

Xx

Ping

Ok Negan

Two it is, I’m off to bed now

Night

Y/N

Xx

He grins, two letters a week, he feels all important now. He wonders if your dad will also get two letters a week? Or if he really is special enough to be the only one.

_______________________________________

A few weeks pass in a blur, you keep your promise to Negan and write to him twice a week. Not only that you both text constantly and have started video calling frequently too. Your currently walking through the vibrant streets of New Orleans with your phone in hand, on video call to Negan as you show him the current festivities happening. “Look at the colours Negan! I’ve never seen anywhere so bright and colourful, and the musics been incredible.” You ramble off excitedly, “Yeah I can see that sweetheart, I wish I was with you right now it looks incredible” he replies.

“I wish you were with me too, it’s amazing! I’ll have to bring dad here at some point.” You gush,

“Yeah maybe we should all plan a trip” he replies and you nod along, “Yeah that sounds good!”

“So where are you off too next?” Negan asks, “Well I’ve booked to stay two weeks on this women only ranch just outside Austen Texas, so I’m going to enjoy a slower pace for a couple of weeks, I’ll get to go riding everyday and read books in the sun” you answered, “That sounds like a good plan sweetheart, you haven’t slowed down in weeks.” Negan hums, truth be told you were looking forward to slowing down for a bit, it’s been a full on couple of months, and as much as you’ve enjoyed it you’ve burnt yourself out a little.

Back at your hotel room you and Negan chat over video call for hours, you admire him as he throws his head back in laughter, while laying back on his couch. You're sat cross legged on your bed, window open so you can see and hear the ongoing festivities outside, the cheerful jazz music floating around your room.

“I can’t believe I’ve been away two months now, it’s gone so fast”, it hasn’t felt fast to Negan, it’s felt like every hour has dragged on without you home. Nights with your dad are much quieter, and your presence is constantly missed. “Yeah sweetheart” he agrees half heartedly, and you sense the change in his tone. “Everything ok?” You ask, voice laced with concern. “Of course darlin we just miss you is all” Negan admits.

“I miss you too you know, life on my own has definitely been quiet. It’s why I enjoy these video calls so much, it almost feels like your here, like it’s a normal Friday night Just without the beers and pizza” you laugh.

His heart warms at your confession, slowly over these weeks he’s noticed little things. The way you look at him, or the way your face lights up when you answer his calls, your letters have become sweeter too. He allows himself to truly hope, that maybe you return his feelings. He’s in half a mind to jump in the car and meet you on your travels, take you into his arms and lay it all out, tell you how he feels and hope you say you feel them too. But his mind always falls back to your Dad, his best friend of nearly 30 years. How would he take it, would he ever talk to him again? Would he forbid him ever seeing you again? It’s these thoughts that stop him ever taking anything further than flirty remarks, and terms of endearment, but god does he wish he could just take you in his arms, feel your skin against his own as he spends all night worshiping your body like the goddess you are.

“Negan…..Negan are you with me” your voice cuts through his daydreaming, “Yeah sorry sweetheart, must be getting tired it’s past this old man’s bedtime” he teases. You huff out a small giggle “You’re not old Negan” you reply. “I’m 52 darlin, I’m nearly at the end of middle aged” Negan groans, you shake your head in disagree “Nope I don’t agree”, “Well I’ll take that” Negan laughs, “We should get some sleep though, it’s like 1am! Night Negan”

“Night Beautiful”

As the call ends you sit there shocked, that’s new, he just called you beautiful! He’s never used that pet name before, usually it’s darlin or sweetheart. Butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. You fall asleep that night with the smile never leaving, listening to the distant hum of jazz.

_______________________________________

The ranch is beautiful, picturesque like a postcard. You feel like you’ve stepped into some country and western film, you’re currently sat under a large tree watching the horses gallop about the pens. There’s a few other women staying at the ranch with you, and you’ve enjoyed getting to know them. One is a lot older than the rest of you, her name’s Frances, she’s been cooking for you all and mothering everyone.

It’s been nice, you weren’t used to a motherly woman being in your life. You’ve told her so too, told her about your life and that your dad raised you alone. She’s been a great listener, she brought up her two sons and how she couldn’t understand a mother ever leaving her children, she could never. When she asked if there was anyone special in your life, you’d bitten your lip and done your best to redirect the conversation. After much convincing you’d told her there was a man who held your affections, but he was much older than you. So it wasn’t an easy situation, but she’d told you there’s no age restrictions on love, so long as both parties involved were adults and felt the same.

It lead you to hope, that maybe you and Negan could maybe one day be something. You were starting to also hope that maybe he felt the same way you did, he had called you beautiful after all.

Taking out a pen and paper you began writing your letter’s.

Dear Negan

This ranch is beautiful, even in the sweltering heat it’s like something out of an old movie, there’s other women here too so it’s been nice to get to know them and make some friends.

I’m currently watching this black horse run through the field, he’s almost ethereal the way he moves. He looks so free, no worries in the world, and I fell like I’m witnessing his wildest joys and deepest secrets.

There’s a lovely lady here called Frances, she’s been like the mother hen to everyone. I’ve had many chats with her, especially about mum. She couldn’t understand how she just left me, said she never could leave her children. I do wonder if she ever thinks about me at all? Maybe she does, or maybe she just moved on with her life and never looked back.

I talked about you too, how important you are in my life too. I’ve been thinking a lot recently. Anyways I’ll send another letter soon.

With Love

Y/N

Xxx

After sealing the letter you wondered if you should send it, had you made things too obvious? Maybe you needed too to see if there was something there? With a deep breath you dropped it in the postal box, placing it to the back of your mind for now, before joining the rest of the girls for the activities for the day.

_______________________________________

Just two days later Negan received your letter, reading the words he felt incredibly sad. You were hurting he could tell, he doesn’t understand how your mother left you either, she’d never know how incredible the girl she brought into the world turned out to be.

Because you were, you’re incredible. So kind, loyal, brave with a determination he’s never witnessed before, and you were so beautiful beyond compare. So yeah she was the one who had missed out, missed watching that baby girl become the most amazing woman. Something himself and your Dad had never taken for granted, even only really getting to know you these last four years, he’s seen you change and thrive becoming the amazing person you are today.

He’s glad you’re making friends along the way though, he was worried you were starting to get a bit lonely being alone for so long. Still the thought of coming to the ranch himself and holding you in his arms was so compelling right now, you were sad and he felt such a great need to make you smile, or hold you as you cried. You deserve the world, he hopes he can show you that someday.

His heart lurches at the thought of you talking about him, and thinking about him? Thinking how? Is that a confession? Or just you missing home? He would call you later, see what he can coax out of you.

You were sat on the porch watching the sunset, the sunsets down south were the most beautiful you’d ever seen, the oranges and yellows shine over the whole landscape, painting the buildings and your skin in a warm orange glow. As you were admiring the skies your phone started buzzing, removing it from your jeans pocket you smile seeing Negan's name flash up.

“Hey Negan, how are you? Sorry it’s been a little while since we’ve called, I’ve noticed only certain areas get signal” you explain as you answer the video call.

Smiling at you “That’s ok sweetheart, I understand, you’re out in the sticks no one gets phone signal there. How are you doing darlin? I got your letter today and I thought I’d call you”

“Yeah I’m ok, I felt sad for a little while thinking about mum, but I’ve realised how lucky I am to have the people I do in my life. I have people who love me and some people don’t have that.” You admit.

“It’s ok to feel sad though sweetheart, what she did to you wasn’t right and it’s ok to be hurt by that, but yeah you are loved, sometimes I don’t think you know how much your loved sweet girl, your dad, your grandma, myself, we adore you, you’re not alone not ever and I hope you know that.” Negan assures.

Tears well up in your eyes, you swallow a large gulp before answering him “Thanks Negan I needed to hear that” you admit.

“Anytime baby girl”

A small creak behind alerts you of someone’s presence, “Sorry love I just came to tell you dinners ready, if you’d like to join us” Frances explains.

“Oh yeah please, I’ll just be a moment” you answer, she nods walking back into the barn.

“Well it looks like I have dinner to attend” you laugh, “Ok beautiful, enjoy your dinner I’ll speak to you soon” “Yeah speak soon” you smile, hanging up the phone you stand up and dust yourself off before heading inside.

Frances meets you at the doors with a knowing smile, “Was that him?” She asks, blushing you look downwards, “Yeah that’s him” you admit. She nods before saying “Marry that man girl, if he looks at you like that, and speaks to you like that, you’d be a fool not too”. You gasp “How much did you hear?” She gives a gentle laugh, “Enough. Now come on in and eat” she guides you inside, but your whole stomachs fluttering now, and you don’t know how much you will actually be able to eat.

_______________________________________

It was the morning you were leaving the ranch, you felt sad to be going. It had been such a positive experience being here with these women, you’d made some friends and you have exchanged numbers with Frances, who would love to stay in contact. Hugging everyone goodbye you waved your last farewell as you entered your car, today you’d be starting your trip to Los Angeles. Although you didn’t think you’d want to visit Hollywood, you had mapped out some lovely vineyards and beaches.

Starting the engine you made your way off the ranch and onto your next adventure. Driving down the highway you turned you music up, opening the windows letting the wind whip at your hair, singing along to your favourite song. Determined to enjoy every aspect of your road-trip, including the tedious highways.

You made it as far as the Texas/ New Mexico boarder before pulling into a motel for the night. Once you were settled in your room you pulled your phone out and called your dad, “Hey baby girl! Long time no speak, where have you been! Only one letter in two weeks and no phone calls! I’ve been worried!” Your dad stresses.

“I’m so sorry Dad the ranch had nearly no signal, Negan managed to call once while I was there, I think I found a fluke spot that evening, because I couldn’t get through to either of you again” you explain.

“That’s alright honey, I just worry, you know I do! How have you been? I didn’t know you spoke to Negan, do you call each other often?” He asks, and you can tell the confusion in his tone.

“Umm yeah we talk a couple of times a week I guess, same as you and I talk. I think he likes to know what I’m up too. I’m good yeah thanks dad been super busy though, but yeah I’m having a great time, how have you been doing?” You answer.

“Yeah no complaints here, I miss you though. House is too quiet without you kiddo, and it’s ok I just didn’t know the two of you were talking, he’s never said anything to me. Other then the fact you send him the occasional letter too” your dad explains.

“Yeah I write to you both, as per requested” you laugh before adding “I hope your looking after yourself though dad, and actually cooking? Not ordering take out every night. I do worry about you both when I’m not there, you don’t have the best eating habits” you giggle.

“Hey we are doing just fine! I did a BBQ the other day we even had salad!” You dad defends.

Laughing out loud now you reply “Oh some salad too! Well I don’t know why I was worrying then”

“Oi little miss, I do just fine! I managed to cook for you ok growing up!” He argues playfully.

“Yeah I know dad I know, I’m just teasing, well I’m glad you doing good, I’m going to head to bed it’s been a long day, lots of driving” you admit.

“Ok kiddo sleep tight”

“Will do night dad”

Ending the call you lay back on the bed and sigh, your dad seemed so confused about you talking to Negan, you hope you didn’t give your feelings about the man away? Nah he was probably just surprised. It will be fine, you think.

After getting ready for bed your phone starts buzzing again, you glance at it sat on the bedside table. ‘Video call from Negan’ grinning you answer the call “Hey!”, “Hey beautiful, how is your journey going?” You admire him for a second, dimples showing as he grins through the phone at you, why does he have to be so beautiful, “Yeah it’s going well I’m on the Texas/ New Mexico boarder, in a small town called Eunice I think. I’m in a small motel, I’ll be carrying on towards Los Angeles in the morning” you answer.

He’s walking about his kitchen, tidying up and nodding as you speak. You love the domestic feel to it, you wish you were there with him, just doing ordinary household chores. “That’s good! You’re making great time sweetheart. And at least now you have signal” he laughs, “Yeah there’s great service here, so what have you been up too?” You ask, “Not much darlin, just work. Some poor guy came in last week with a blown head gasket, it’s taking a lot of time to fix it. So I’ve been at the garage long hours this week. Other than that not a lot, Bill is trying to set me up on some date with his wife’s friend, but I’m not too sure” he admits.

Your stomach sinks at that, a date, no don’t go on a date you think, especially not when I’m thousands of miles across the country and can’t do anything to help stop it. Your heart is pounding in your chest, but you try to keep yourself together. “Yeah?” You ask, voice sounding way more strained than you hoped. “Yeah, you ok sweetheart?” He asks looking at you full of concern. “Yeah I need to umm go get some sleep it’s late and I’m exhausted” you blurt out in haste.

“Yeah ok darlin, goodnight”, “Night” you answer before quickly hanging up. Tears sting your eyes as you lay back on the bed, harshly rubbing the tears away you sit up, sod this I’m going for a drink, you determine. Pulling some jeans and a jacket on, you cross over the road to the local bar.

Entering the building the smell of stale beer and smoke hits you, wrinkling your nose in slight disgust you sit at the bar, “A beer please” you ask the bartender, who nods at you placing a bottle in front of you.

Across the country Negan can’t get your reaction out of his head. He was thinking maybe the date would be a good way to move on. Because you probably didn’t feel the same as him, he was delusional right? Thinking he saw signs that you wanted him. But you went from cheerful to distressed in seconds, now he doesn’t know, he could always ask you, he knows this. But he also knows he couldn’t deal with rejection, not from you. He sits down on his couch placing his head in his hands as he tries to make sense of it all.

You on the other hand have just stumbled back into your room after a few drinks, and you feel in your drunken state that your heads so much clearer. With the new found confidence the alcohol has given you, you pull out your phone and send Negan a text before passing out on your bed.

Don’t go on that date Negan, please don’t …I love you

The buzzing of his phone he’s pulled out of his thoughts, reading your message he’s sat in shock. You love him? Gods you love him! That’s it he needs to see you. Jumping up he rushes to pack a bag, throwing as much as he can fit in the duffle. Moving to grab his keys, phone, charger and passport. A flight to you will be the quickest way!

Leaving the house he sends you a message back,

Don’t go anywhere sweetheart, I’m on my way! Xx

#negan smith #Dbf Negan #negan x reader #twd negan #negan x you #the walking dead negan #negan fanfiction #negan x female reader #dads best friend #Dbf x reader

[bangcakes]

.

#feel like thw trip i took over the weekend was like. a brain reset NDNDDNNNDNDNDN #it was like i was taken back to a time precovid... pre career change.... i was just like oh ya this is how things were NDNNDMSNSMSM #just .... goin on trips with my friends.... #ya........... #idk NDNXNNXJXJXJX #just needed that i guess #bc i was so stressed like between graduating and job searching and my boy problem it was so much #bc when i graduated university.... i really just had to deal with graduating. bc i had to take some time off after for mental health n then #they were so desperate in my field that i got a job within like a week of applying NFNFJJFJDNXNND #so... ya i had like time to deal with stuff. whereas this time i was hit with like... what felt like so much.... idk IDK #im just glad that i keep finding jobs to apply to. bc there were two weeks where it was so DRY. like there was Nothing to apply to and i was #like OH SO AM I FUCJED??? IS TGE WELL DRY #but nah. i found one last week that i applied to over the weekend and another yesterday that i'll apply to in the coming days... #may as well take my time.... bc its not due until 2 weeks from now #2 of the jobs ive applied to already also close this week so im like. WILL I HEAR BACK?.????? #idk idk #software is so competitive..... #psych was..... lmao. high turnover everywhere. HOWEVER.... there was this one company that had basically a monopoly on the field #in my town and the surrounding ones #so like....... wouldnt have been easy to move around #at least in software.... you can get a job at literally any sector lmao. like the options are unlimited thank god #there was a posting to work at a library..... i wasnt qualified for it bc they wanted like someoen super experienced #but i was like OH WOW A GOAL.???? #like god imagine i get to work at a library.... kicking screaming throwing UP #thatd be so cool..... #id feel so accomplished... #personal

[yo9urt]

video games....

#mine #i love my steam deck sooooooooo much im so happy i can actually play games again like a big proper library of them #and everything #everything on steam AND emulators is available to me. do you know how many games that is! #i started a new beegee3 playthrough on the HARDEST DIFFICULTY (!) today. which is also a single-save difficulty #and im in one of the most difficult parts of the game right now (level 4) and kind of nervous lol #but at the same time im really proud of myself for learning the game to the point i feel comfortable challenging myself in it #and im happy i get to at all :D i love you video games #and sooner or later ill come back to stardew valley cause there was that big update and i have some games on my wishlist too #and its not verified yet but i might play that pomeranian making the house dirty game cause it looked cute #oh and yakuza also because my friend got two of the yakuzas for me #YAYYYYY GAMES #also kind of sad though because tomorrow i pack and sunday i go back for babys last quarter of college #and im worried about how busy its going to be with classes and job apps and then of course actually graduating #and moving out and haivng a job and stuff #when all i want is to enjoy being able to play video games again.... sig #sigh* #WHATEVER...future mes problem #oh i almost forgot...one of the best parts of the deck imo is the versatility because with games like beegee3 #you can play it in controller mode which has its pros and cons but you can also swap to computer mode #which also has its pros and cons so like. i can adjust as needed #when im just exploring or trying to loot an area etc i go controller #but when im in combat i go computer because the hotbar is REALLY helpful for decision making #its really nice to have the option to choose since no console players have that it seems #and the only pc players who can do that are the ones who have and are willing to connect controllers #and most of them dont seem to be into that #but im really glad to be able to do both #ok done yapping now

[inkybinkyboink]

no but like what the fuck

#vent post time!!!!!!!!!!!! #like ok so i graduate and then what #i move? to a different province? and i learn to teach kids? and then what #and then i teach kids??? #what if it doesnt make me happy #like the thought makes me happy now #but what if i get there and it doesnt #or what if it stops making me happy #am i just like doomed to keep making new batches of friends every 4-5 years? will there always be awful people amongst them? #i didnt...think id make it this far? #like i know thats dark and stupid but like i didnt and now im just kind of making very brief one to two year plans because i dont know what #to do and that scares me. like graduating is terrifying because i dont know whats next #like no matter where i go even if i stay here it will be intrinsically different #and i dont want to stay here because its safe or because i know this place because i dont want to get stuck here #maybe im just scared of growing older? i dont know man #idk. living with anxiety is hard. #like i know it'll b ok but its scary. and it never stops being scary. #its ok for now because i still have a year left

[arthur-r]

arthur fact as of today. high school graduate. not doing that whole thing anymore

#i won’t be walking at graduation so this is it for me #keep trying to say something about this and then i talk myself into a panic attack #so i’m gonna just step back and say yeah i’m done with that now #don’t understand how i’m the only person in the whole school who is freaking out about this #but here i am #everyone is staying in minnesota except for me and two other friends #and one of them is going to the same school as i am and the other one is going to canada #so everything changes now forever and i just don’t know how to feel #but hey. things are going to be good. i’ll be over by chicago that’s exciting #and i already changed my name in the system a couple days ago. kind of risky but i don’t want to keep putting it off #i figure i have friends i can move in with this summer if my parents find out and it goes over really badly #and otherwise they have to confront it sooner or later and i’d rather now than college graduation in four years #so anyway things will be good there hopefully. and high school has been bad enough that i should be happy #i dont know. things really got better just in time to go away forever #i’m gonna go to bed but everything is really strange and i’m officially out of there #so this is as much closure as i get #idk. i have a whole summer before everything changes entirely. everything will be okay #anyway gonna log off of tumblr. but yeah. this is where i’m at #me. my post. mine. #delete later #friends only

[louisloulouie]

I hung out with a group of friends for the first time since I graduated high school and tragically I must admit that while it is often said quality over quantity when it comes to friends….. it is also nice to just be with a big group and get along with everyone and not feel so lonely

#i love my two best friends so much and they’re my only friends #but one of them took me to a girls night her friend was having #and I instantly got along with everyone there and it was just like 7 or 8 of us #but god it was so nice #and I could talk to them all and I felt 0% awkward and I was so happy #i haven’t hung out with a group of people where I got along with them all since the summer after graduating high school #when like 10 or 15 of my high school friends all hung out for the last time #before everyone moved away and went to their own colleges #in college it was also like 15 of us but I definitely did NOT fit in as well with that group #now I never want to let this new group go #very happy to report they do girls night every month so hopefully this new feeling will stay

[mayonakano-archive]

.

#vent btw #leo.screams #i get like. really unreasonably lonely sometimes. like. i have /friends/ but all of them are online #i can't talk to one of my irls since she's basically inactive on the things i use; and my other irl is moving away in the spring #so it's just. lonely. and i don't expect my friends to constantly talk to me or anything; but sometimes what contact i do get #just... doesn't feel like enough. i guess it's just the plight of being constantly online though #and like. my parents suck. i hate them. i barely talk to them. so... #im not even going to get into that just take that as it is. #all my old friends suck anyway. my two irls are the only good people i have. and they graduated #i'm going to be entirely alone in my senior year. that sucks... i hope to god im not in any classes with any of them #i think i would die... i never want to see any of them again... #i hope i die. i hope we all die. <- i'm not going to hurt myself dw i'm just very emo rn. #sigh. this got long. sorry guys. i hate being emotional on main <3 #leoposting