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aerodaltonimperial · 1 year

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Hook is trying to get Danhausen to notice him, see if the interest is mutual because sometimes it seems like it might be? And Hook is like, really, really trying. The boy is COMMITED to the cause. It starts off subtle, but Danhausen seems to just take everything Hook is trying to do in the friendliest way possible. Until Hook makes a last ditched effort, maybe his heart is barely in this last one, just doing it so he can say he tried everything he can think of, and then, a wild Whorehausen appears.

(I am literally on an unstoppable Ricky Starks agenda, I cannot be contained.)

Okay, he didn't think this was going to be so hard. Hook knows how this works; he's been down this road before, and he's never had a problem. In fact, he's really rarely had to work at this at all, and that's why he's sitting on the ground with an unopened, uneaten bag of chips in his lap, glaring at his Converse when Ricky finds him.

"You look like you're trying to blow the world up with just the power of your mind," Ricky says. Helpful. Hook glares at him. Ricky, as usual, ignores it, and settles down on the grimy floor tiles next to him. "Why so glum?"

"Nothing," Hook grumbles.

"That face doesn't say nothing. Spill."

Hook sniffs, rubs a hand against his nose. He debates refusing mostly out of pride, but it probably can't get any worse than it already is, and besides, Ricky won't judge him, right? He sucks in one deep breath, and then another, and finally says, "I like someone."

"My condolences," Ricky replies.

Hook kicks at the man's foot, annoyed. "I'm being serious."

"So am I. Sounds like hell. What's the problem?"

"It's not...working," Hook says, lame. He is so, so aware of how lame he sounds.

Ricky frowns. "I need more information."

"I don't...they aren't..." Hook growls, frustrated, and runs a hand through his hair. "I don't think they get it."

"Oh, a dense one." Ricky laughs, finding too much joy in Hook's misery. "Well, just make it more obvious. Seems like the easiest choice, doesn't it? Who are we talking about, anyway? We may need to adjust accordingly."

Hook glares at the chip bag, teeth clenched.

"Yo, I need some deets here," Ricky says.

Hook crunches the chips between his hands.

"Hook, I need--" Ricky frowns. Narrows his eyes. Looks from the bag of ruined chips up to Hook's face and back down again. "You can't be serious."

"Stop," Hook replies, plaintive and reedy.

"Really? Really?"

"Don't judge me, Starks, I swear to god."

Ricky laughs, but it seems good-natured and that's probably as good as Hook will get. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. We can do this. You can do this."

"But I don't know how." He's whining, and holy shit, his dad would probably smack him if he could see how low he's sunk.

Ricky leans in, eyes bright. "Don't worry--I'm an expert at flirting. You, kid, are in the right hands."

Hook is not in the right hands.

Ricky tells him to work with body language--"Because people respond to the way you carry yourself, you know?"--and to get closer, minimize the distance between them. Hook thinks, well, okay, not a bad plan; he tends to stay a few feet away from everyone as the default. Surely, this will be an obvious shift.

Hook waits until the Best Friends are wasting time, sitting around until their match comes up. Then he sidles up to Danhausen, drawing close enough for their sleeves to brush.

"Ah, yes, hello Danhausen’s very good friend Hook," Danhausen says, giving him a single glance and a smile before going back to his conversation with Chuck and Trent. Nothing.

He waits a minute or two, then knocks their shoulders together.

Danhausen just pats his elbow without missing a beat.

Hook glares over his shoulder at Ricky, half-hidden behind the hallway corner, who sighs and shakes his head.

"Okay, new plan," Ricky says. "How about gifts?"

"Gifts?" Hook returns, already weary of this.

"It's a love language, man. You should read the book--whatever, not important. Give him gifts. He did that with you, right? The chips? And it seemed to work."

"Did not," Hook grumbles, but fuck, Ricky’s right.

He offers Danhausen a drink from the vending machine, and gets a simple thanks. Then he tries with a bag of chips, figuring it's more meaningful, and gets another neutral thanks around crunching. Then he decides the snacks aren't working.

His next try is a t-shirt he found in a little mall pop-up that reminded him of Danhausen. He presents it with both hands.

"Oh!" Danhausen says. "Oh, this is very nice!" He seems way more excited, and Hook thinks aha, he gets it!" And then: "Hook is such a considerate friend!"

He turns, chattering about the shirt, and Hook thinks he might tunnel straight down through the ground to the other side of the world.

"This is harder than I anticipated," Ricky admits.

"What do I do?" Hook complains. "Maybe he isn't interested."

"No, no, he is. I can feel it. No one puts that much time and effort into courting someone just for a tag match."

"He was trying to curse me," Hook says, but he sighs and resigns himself to more instructions.

Ricky tells him to amp up the physical displays. Hook finds Danhausen in the backstage area and throws his arm over the man's shoulders, afraid he might throw up if Danhausen shakes him off. Danhausen doesn't, but he also fails to really react. He pats Hook’s hand fondly, and that's that.

So then Hook waits until Danhausen sits down against the wall and plops down next to him to tip his head against Danhausen’s arm, curling in.

"Oh, is Hook tired?" Danhausen asks, maddeningly unfazed. "Maybe he should go to sleep earlier tonight. After all, it's been a busy week."

Hook thinks he might want to punch Danhausen instead.

"This isn't going to work," Hook moans, four beers deep into the night and resoundly despondent. "He isn't interested."

"Have some faith!" Ricky says, like it isn't the most personal and soul-destroying thing Hook has ever done to hold his heart out for the taking. "We'll find the right way. You could train together again!"

"How will that help anything?"

Ricky shrugs. "Sweaty, shirtless, close contact: honestly, Hook, think outside the box a little here."

He invites Danhausen to train together. Then he gets too nervous to do anything useful and stays on the treadmill the whole time, terrified and gross. So he has to try again and pick another day with more specific instructions of ring training, mostly to keep himself from panicking out the door.

"Hook is very good at suplexing," Danhausen says. Its such a good opening, Hook grabs him around the waist and flips them both, ending up above the other with his palms pressed into the mat.

They stare at each other. Hook's heart flies up to his throat. This is it, this is it--

Danhausen smiles wide. "What a great move! Hook is such a wonderful friend to teach Danhausen his secret wrestling tricks!"

Hook is going to throw himself off a damn cliff.

"Netflix and chill?" Ricky suggests.

"We watched four hours of Mythbusters without touching once," Hook replies.

"Dinner date."

Hook wants to jam a knife in his temple. "I let him pick the restaurant and we ended up at McDonalds."

"Jesus Christ," Ricky sighs.

Hook wipes his palms on his sweats. He's so damn nervous. He's afraid to get punched, and is doubly afraid of getting rejected.

("This will work!" Ricky had promised. "There's no way to miss the implications here!")

Hook tracks Danhausen down in the locker room. There aren't many people there, but he's in a conversation with Orange Cassidy, and Hook figures he has to just suck it up and go. Puts his whole fucking dignity on the line.

He walks up to Danhausen’s side, reaches over with trembling fingers, and grabs the man's hand. Squeezes.

"Hello, Hook!" Danhausen says, smiling. "Do you wish for Danhausen to follow you somewhere?"

"Oh my god," Hook moans, dropping Danhausen's fingers and stalking out the door again.

He is miserable. He is anguished. He is trapped in a hell of his own making, ignored through the most effort he has ever tried to put into anything before. Hook absolutely, positively cannot live like this anymore.

He stomps up to Danhausen’s hotel room door and doesn't even knock, just sort of slams his hand against the wood over and over and over until the man opens it.

Then he leans in, index finger extended, sparking and growling. "You!"

"Me?" Danhausen asks, eyebrows high. "What did I do?"

"You let me go on and on and on, for what, amusement?" Hook says. Demands. "Do you think this is funny? Am I something you laugh about at night?"

Danhausen’s expression morphs, mouth turning down. "What?"

"Couldn't you just have told me no? That you weren't interested? Instead of letting me make an idiot of myself for weeks and weeks?"

"Danhausen doesn't--"

"Well, I'm done!" Hook says, pissed. "I am so done here. I hope you've had your fun."

"Fun?" Danhausen repeats. His eyes are good and wide, incredulous and...confused?

"I fucking love you, you fucking asshole," Hook says, and hates himself for it.

Silence. Hook's heart is going to burst straight out of his chest, shattering his ribcage. Danhausen stares at him, and Hook stares back, and nothing in the hallway so much as moves.

And then, inch by inch, Danhausen’s expression opens up. His lips twist up. His eyes narrow, smooth, glimmer. One hand whips out to grab Hook’s hoodie strings and jerk him forward.

"Mmph--!" is about all Hook gets out before Danhausen’s mouth is pressed against his, limbs wrapping around his body like an octopus, and he's unceremoniously pulled through the doorway.

"Please, no details," Ricky says, throwing his drink back. "Like, literally never give me details. Stop. Stop, your face is giving me details--Hook, I swear to god, wipe that smug-ass smirk off your mouth, I cannot know this and sleep at night, stop--"

#Okay this got away from me LOLOL #AS PER THE EUGE #oh well here we are #Hookhausen

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ladyelainehilfur · 3 months

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Hyperspecific book poll- Nugu Edition

If there's more than one, pick the one you liked the most!

#The Plain Janes #ruby redfort #the Fog diver #society of steam #hero-type Barry lyga #enduring freedom #the Cupcake Queen- Heather Hepler #disenchanted The Trials of Cinderella #delilah dirk #click Clack moo cows that type #love stargirl #bookblr #polls #a lot of these are books i read when i read younger #NOOOO I MEANT DELILAH DIRK SHE'S NOT A DORK I PROMISE

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yourlocalnews · 2 years

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#YourLocal.Me

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ya-world-challenge · 2 years

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YA Books About 🇦🇫 Afghanistan

Master book list for the YA World Challenge: 🇦🇫 Afghanistan

YA (or NA) The Secret Sky, Atia Abawi The Carpet Weaver, Nemat Sadat 💚⌛🌈 House of Yesterday, Deeba Zargarpur 💚🛩️ The Kite Runner: Graphic Novel, Khaled Hosseini 💚 When Michael Met Mina (The Lines We Cross), Randa Abdel-Fattah 🛩️ The Edge, Roland Smith 🏖️ Operation Oleander, Valerie O. Patterson 🏖️

Middle Grade One Half from the East, Nadia Hashimi 💚 The Sky at our Feet, Nadia Hashimi 💚 🛩️ Shooting Kabul, N.H. Senzai 💚 Saving Kabul Corner, N.H. Senzai 💚 🛩️ The Breadwinner, Deborah Ellis Words in the Dust, Trent Reedy

Memoir Come Back to Afghanistan: A California Teenager's Story, Said Hyder Akbar 💚 A Fort of Nine Towers, Qais Akbar Omar 💚⌛

Adult Authors to consider Khaled Hosseini Nadia Hashimi Atiq Rahimi

💚 Native Author 🛩️ Immigrant or diaspora 🏖️ non-native characters in or about the country (ex. vacation/adventure) ⌛ Historical 🌈 LGBT

🌏🌍Go to the full country list🌏🌍

#book list #afghanistan #ya world challenge #ya books #booklr #bookblr #reading list #diverse reads #reading challenge #middle east

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mskrisreads-blog · 6 years

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In the not too distant future, the United States government has passed the Federal ID Card Act, which requires mandated identification cards and access to all digital material of citizens in the country. This includes phone data, text messages, and even GPS location services, and what they’ve used their digi-assistants for. Government legislation isn’t on the radar of most high school seniors, however, it is on the radar of Danny Wright. Make that Private First Class Daniel Christopher Wright of the United States Army National Guard. After enlisting at 17 to honor his father who passed away in the war in Afghanistan, Danny has had to balance the role of guardsman and high school student, but still manages to play on the school’s football team. Everything changes for Danny one night, when he is called into duty for backup for a relatively peaceful protest of the Federal ID Card Act. Danny never imagined making a mistake during this protest, but he had his finger on the trigger of his gun when he was jolted. He never imagined he’d accidentally shoot his gun. He never imagined that he would set off a chain reaction that would leave a dozen dead by the end of the night. He never imagined he’d be the subject of national news attention. And, surely, he never imagined that he’d set the stage for what could cause the downfall of America as he knew it…

Author Trent Reedy writes the Divided We Fall trilogy in a way that resonates with young readers, and provides a very plausible and realistic apocalyptic vision of what could happen in our country. Danny, along with his girlfriend JoBell, and friends Sweeney, Cal, Becca, and TJ are forced to make decisions that could change their lives forever, determining what and who they believe in. And, with their lives on the line, and the future of the country at stake, nothing seems to come to Danny and his friends with a clear answer. Not even when it comes down to believing the President of the United States. Could they live out their lives peacefully? Or would they be required to fight to the death to defend their beliefs? Would their lives ever return to normal? Or would anything be left standing by the end of it all?

One of my favorite features of the book was what Reedy describes as “media noise” aspect, which was amazingly incorporated into the Scholastic audiobook series. This “media noise” is included in the literature to show other viewpoints of what is going on, a collection of opinions, news broadcasts, and Facebook-like status updates where everyone is sharing their take on what could possibly be the Second Civil War in America. I’ll admit, I listened to the audiobooks instead of reading them, mainly because I used OverDrive Media, and couldn’t get print copies at my library. I’m not ashamed of this. I’ll also admit that I began listening to the first book in the trilogy around midnight, while I was relaxing before bed. I nodded off, and was awoken by a news broadcast of upheaval over legislation, how the president was handling this, and peaceful protests gone wrong. I shot up in bed, quite literally, wondering if an emergency broadcast had been able to override my audiobook on my iHome and I spent the better part of five minutes trying to figure out what was happening. I was having my very own War of the Worlds moment, where I believed that, sincerely, what I was hearing was an actual broadcast. Kudos to Reedy, who found a way to incorporate multiple viewpoints and ideas into a first person narrative to show the bigger picture: a nation divided, and the consequences of this separation...

This thought provoking and conversation starting series is a welcome addition to any library, and would be perfect for a classroom looking to discuss today’s ever-political world (much liken the classroom of Coach Shiratori in the series). This fast paced series takes place over three well written books with a satisfying ending and epilogue. This series is recommended for all libraries, public, school, and private. This is suited well for reluctant readers grades 9-12, as it will hook anyone who reads it. A word of caution for younger readers: the content matter, sometimes graphic violence, and language may be more YA than some young readers are familiar with. For a plausible apocalyptic series with relatable and realistic characters, I give the Divided We Fall trilogy a five star review.

#ya series in review #YA literature #trent reedy #divided we fall series #divided we fall #burning nation #the last full measure #realistic fiction #military fiction #pre-dystopia #chain reaction events #war #government control #political opposition

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bookaddict24-7 · 3 years

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New Young Adult Releases Coming Out Today! (May 18th, 2021)

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Have I missed any new Young Adult releases? Have you added any of these books to your TBR? Let me know!

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New Standalones/First in a Series:

In the Ravenous Dark by A.M. Strickland

Off the Record by Camryn Garrett

It Goes Like This by Miel Moreland

Made in Korea by Sarah Suk

May the Best Man Win by Z.R. Ellor

Last Chance Books by Kelsey Rodkey

The Marvelous Mirza Girls by Sheba Karim

Some Girls Do by Jennifer Dugan

Perfectly Parvin by Olivia Abtahi

Tokyo Ever After by Emiko Jean

Don’t Breathe A Word by Jordyn Taylor

Enduring Freedom by Trent Reedy

Shipped by Meredith Tate

Jelly by Clare Rees

Homewrecker by Deanna Cameron

On the Hook by Francisco X. Stork

New Sequels:

Mister Impossible (Dreamer Trilogy #2) by Maggie Stiefvater

Crest (The Call of the Rift #3) by Jae Waller

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Happy reading!

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ilyasorokinn · 3 years

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players i write for,

this list is subject to change. people will be added and removed at any time. if they aren't on this list, please don't request for them.

* = means i’m comfortable writing for every player on the team. if someone isn’t on this list (and they aren’t in the list of people i don’t write for), feel free to ask for that person.

pro !

anaheim ducks !

mason mactavish

ben meyers

arizona coyotes !

clayton keller

boston bruins !

trent frederic

jeremy swayman

buffalo sabres !

tyson jost

ukko-pekka luukonen

jj peterka

jack quinn

mattias samuelsson

jeff skinner

carolina hurricanes ! *

freddie andersen

dylan coghlan

jack drury

seth jarvis

pyotr kochetkov

jesperi kotkaniemi

ty smith

andrei svechnikov

teuvo teräväinen

colorado avalanche ! *

alexandar georgiev

artturi lehkonen

nathan mackinnon

mikko rantanen

miles wood

columbus blue jackets !

nick blankenburg

kent johnson

sean kuraly

alex nylander

dallas stars !

scott reedy

detroit red wings !

zach aston-reese

jt compher

simon edvinsson

alex lyon

lucas raymond

mortiz seider

joe veleno

edmonton oilers !

ryan mcleod

florida panthers !

oliver ekman-larsson

los angeles kings !

quinton byfield

pierre-luc dubois

erik portillo

alex turcotte

minnesota wild !

matt boldy

joel eriksson ek

kirill kaprizov

montreal canadiens !

kirby dach

juraj slafkovsky

arber xhekaj

nashville predators !

wade allison

anthony beauvillier

new jersey devils ! *

dougie hamilton

nico hischier

jack hughes

john marino

timo meier

dawson mercer

new york islanders ! *

mat barzal

noah dobson

ilya sorokin

oliver wahlstrom

new york rangers !

alexis lafreniere

ryan lindgren

k'andre miller

ottawa senators !

josh norris

tim stützle

philadelphia flyers ! *

jamie drysdale

samuel ersson

joel farabee

morgan frost

erik johnson

rasmus ristolainen

nick seeler

pittsburgh penguins !

michael bunting

sidney crosby

ryan graves

san jose sharks !

william eklund

jack studnicka

henry thrun

fabian zetterlund

seattle kraken !

jamie oleksiak

brandon tanev

st. louis blues !

jordan kyrou

jake neighbors

colton parayko

tampa bay lightning !

anthony cirelli

toronto maple leafs !

joel edmundson

william nylander

joseph woll

vancouver canucks !

nils aman

brock boeser

quinn hughes

andrei kuzmenko

elias pettersson (2017)

vegas golden knights !

brendan brisson

nolan patrick

washington capitals !

rasmus sandin

winnipeg jets !

nikolaj ehlers

college hockey !

landon slaggert (notre dame)

patrick moynihan (notre dame)

#people i write for #nhl #hockey #taylor’s masterlists #blog navigation

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richincolor · 3 years

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New Releases

A whole slew of books coming out this week, many we've been looking forward to for a while. I can't wait to add some of these to my TBR pile.

Perfectly Parvin (Perfectly Parvin #1) by Olivia Abtahi G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers

Parvin has just had her heart broken when she meets the cutest boy at her new high school, Matty Fumero–with an emphasis on fumero, because he might be the smoking hot cure to all of her boy troubles. If Parvin can get Matty to ask her to homecoming, she’s positive it will erase all the awful and embarrassing feelings He Who Will Not Be Named left her with after the summer. The only problem is Matty is definitely too cool for bassoon-playing, frizzy-haired, Cheeto-eating Parvin. Since being herself has not worked for her in the past (see aforementioned relationship), she decides that to be the girl who finally gets the guy, she should start acting like the women in her favorite rom-coms. Those girls aren’t loud, they certainly don’t cackle when they laugh, and they smile much more than they talk. Easy enough, right?

But as Parvin struggles through her parent-mandated Farsi lessons on the weekends, a budding friendship with a boy she can’t help but be her unfiltered self with, and dealing with the ramifications of the Muslim Ban on her family in Iran, she realizes that being herself might just be the perfect thing after all.

The Marvelous Mirza Girls by Sheba Karim Quill Tree Books

To cure her post–senior year slump, made worse by the loss of her aunt Sonia, Noreen is ready to follow her mom on a gap year trip to New Delhi, hoping India can lessen her grief and bring her voice back.

In the world’s most polluted city, Noreen soon meets kind, handsome Kabir, who introduces her to the wonders of this magical, complicated place. With Kabir’s help—plus Bollywood celebrities, fourteenth-century ruins, karaoke parties, and Sufi saints—Noreen begins to rediscover her joyful voice.

But when a family scandal erupts, Noreen and Kabir must face complicated questions in their own relationship: What does it mean to truly stand by someone—and what are the boundaries of love?

Check out Crystal's Review: The Marvelous Mirza Girls

Made in Korea by Sarah Suk Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

There’s nothing Valerie Kwon loves more than making a good sale. Together with her cousin Charlie, they run V&C K-BEAUTY, their school’s most successful student-run enterprise. With each sale, Valerie gets closer to taking her beloved and adventurous halmeoni to her dream city, Paris.

Enter the new kid in class, Wes Jung, who is determined to pursue music after graduation despite his parents’ major disapproval. When his classmates clamor to buy the K-pop branded beauty products his mom gave him to “make new friends,” he sees an opportunity—one that may be the key to help him pay for the music school tuition he knows his parents won’t cover…

What he doesn’t realize, though, is that he is now V&C K-BEAUTY’s biggest competitor.

Stakes are high as Valerie and Wes try to outsell each other, make the most money, and take the throne for the best business in school—all while trying to resist the undeniable spark that’s crackling between them. From hiring spies to all-or-nothing bets, the competition is much more than either of them bargained for.

But one thing is clear: only one Korean business can come out on top.

Tokyo Ever After by Emiko Jean Flatiron Books

Izumi Tanaka has never really felt like she fit in—it isn’t easy being Japanese American in her small, mostly white, northern California town. Raised by a single mother, it’s always been Izumi—or Izzy, because “It’s easier this way”—and her mom against the world. But then Izzy discovers a clue to her previously unknown father’s identity…and he’s none other than the Crown Prince of Japan. Which means outspoken, irreverent Izzy is literally a princess.

In a whirlwind, Izzy travels to Japan to meet the father she never knew and discover the country she always dreamed of. But being a princess isn’t all ball gowns and tiaras. There are conniving cousins, a hungry press, a scowling but handsome bodyguard who just might be her soulmate, and thousands of years of tradition and customs to learn practically overnight.

Izzy soon finds herself caught between worlds, and between versions of herself—back home, she was never “American” enough, and in Japan, she must prove she’s “Japanese” enough. Will Izumi crumble under the weight of the crown, or will she live out her fairytale, happily ever after?

On the Hook by Francisco X. Stork Scholastic Press

Hector has always minded his own business, working hard to make his way to a better life someday. He’s the chess team champion, helps the family with his job at the grocery, and teaches his little sister to shoot hoops overhand.

Until Joey singles him out. Joey, whose older brother, Chavo, is head of the Discípulos gang, tells Hector that he’s going to kill him: maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. And Hector, frozen with fear, does nothing. From that day forward, Hector’s death is hanging over his head every time he leaves the house. He tries to fade into the shadows – to drop off Joey’s radar – to become no one.

But when a fight between Chavo and Hector’s brother Fili escalates, Hector is left with no choice but to take a stand.

The violent confrontation will take Hector places he never expected, including a reform school where he has to live side-by-side with his enemy, Joey. It’s up to Hector to choose whether he’s going to lose himself to revenge or get back to the hard work of living.

Enduring Freedom by Jawad Arash & Trent Reedy Algonquin Young Readers

On September 11, 2001, the lives of two boys on opposite sides of the world are changed in an instant.

Baheer, a studious Afghan teen, sees his family’s life turned upside down when they lose their livelihood as war rocks the country.

A world away, Joe, a young American army private, has to put aside his dreams of becoming a journalist when he’s shipped out to Afghanistan.

When Joe’s unit arrives in Baheer’s town, Baheer is wary of the Americans, but sees an opportunity: Not only can he practice his English with the soldiers, his family can make money delivering their supplies. At first, Joe doesn’t trust Baheer, or any of the locals, but Baheer keeps showing up. As Joe and Baheer get to know each other, to see each other as individuals, they realize they have a lot more in common than they ever could have realized. But can they get past the deep differences in their lives and beliefs to become true friends and allies?

Off the Record by Camryn Garrett Knopf Books for Young Readers

Ever since seventeen-year-old Josie Wright can remember, writing has been her identity, the thing that grounds her when everything else is a garbage fire. So when she wins a contest to write a celebrity profile for Deep Focus magazine, she’s equal parts excited and scared, but also ready. She’s got this.

Soon Josie is jetting off on a multi-city tour, rubbing elbows with sparkly celebrities, frenetic handlers, stone-faced producers, and eccentric stylists. She even finds herself catching feelings for the subject of her profile, dazzling young newcomer Marius Canet. Josie’s world is expanding so rapidly, she doesn’t know whether she’s flying or falling. But when a young actress lets her in on a terrible secret, the answer is clear: she’s in over her head.

One woman’s account leads to another and another. Josie wants to expose the man responsible, but she’s reluctant to speak up, unsure if this is her story to tell. What if she lets down the women who have entrusted her with their stories? What if this ends her writing career before it even begins? There are so many reasons not to go ahead, but if Josie doesn’t step up, who will?

#new releases #weneeddiversebooks

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apocellipse · 3 years

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tagged by @indecentpause hi pause i love you

rules: share a line of two of your wip that you wrote recently and pick a few people to tag!

All three of them are blood relatives, but none of the brothers look alike. Grant is tall and brick-shithouse-big, like he could lift a truck without breaking a sweat, and his blond hair is oddly flat on his head, and he wears those wrap-around sunglasses that Bryce sometimes thinks he doesn’t even take off to shower. Ralph is reedy and windblown, with arms too long for his torso and eyes that droop permanently above his usual lazy grin. Trent is dark-haired like Ralph, but short and pudgy, with their mother’s throng of freckles and the worst taste in hats that Bryce has ever seen. This is his competition, which is why it’s extra embarrassing to be the worst werewolf in town.

tagging: followers with an L in their username! >:3

#tag game #wip: what’s left #for whatever reason the wilson brothers are my favorite background characters in WL #except rory maybe #hoo hoo #i’m doing this style of tagging because i don’t know yall that well yet

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pretimasafghanistanlitblog · 3 years

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“Ten Interesting Afghani Novels”

1. Under the Persimmon Tree by Suzanne Fisher Staples

Intertwined portraits of courage and hope in Afghanistan and Pakistan Najmah, a young Afghan girl whose name means "star," suddenly finds herself alone when her father and older brother are conscripted by the Taliban and her mother and newborn brother are killed in an air raid. An American woman, Elaine, whose Islamic name is Nusrat, is also on her own. She waits out the war in Peshawar, Pakistan, teaching refugee children under the persimmon tree in her garden while her Afghan doctor husband runs a clinic in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan.

Najmah's father had always assured her that the stars would take care of her, just as Nusrat's husband had promised that they would tell Nusrat where he was and that he was safe. As the two look to the skies for answers, their fates entwine. Najmah, seeking refuge and hoping to find her father and brother, begins the perilous journey through the mountains to cross the border into Pakistan. And Nusrat's persimmon-tree school awaits Najmah's arrival. Together, they both seek their way home.

Known for her award-winning fiction set in South Asia, Suzanne Fisher Staples revisits that part of the world in this beautifully written, heartrending novel. (goodreads.com)

2. Words in the Dust by Trent Reedy

Winner of the Christopher Medal and a "heart-wrenching" Al Roker's Book Club selection on the Today Show.

Zulaikha hopes. She hopes for peace, now that the Taliban have been driven from Afghanistan; a good relationship with her hard stepmother; and one day even to go to school, or to have her cleft palate fixed. Zulaikha knows all will be provided for her--"Inshallah," God willing. Then she meets Meena, who offers to teach her the Afghan poetry she taught her late mother. And the Americans come to her village, promising not just new opportunities and dangers, but surgery to fix her face. These changes could mean a whole new life for Zulaikha--but can she dare to hope they'll come true? (Amazon.com)

3. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

A Thousand Splendid Suns is a breathtaking story set against the volatile events of Afghanistan's last thirty years - from the Soviet invasion to the reign of the Taliban to post-Taliban rebuilding - that puts the violence, fear, hope, and faith of this country in intimate, human terms. It is a tale of two generations of characters brought jarringly together by the tragic sweep of war, where personal lives - the struggle to survive, raise a family, find happiness - are inextricable from the history playing out around them.

Propelled by the same storytelling instinct that made The Kite Runner a beloved classic, A Thousand Splendid Suns is at once a remarkable chronicle of three decades of Afghan history and a deeply moving account of family and friendship. It is a striking, heart-wrenching novel of an unforgiving time, an unlikely friendship, and an indestructible love - a stunning accomplishment. (goodreads.com)

4. Swallows of Kabul by Yasmina Khadra

Since the ascendancy of the Taliban the lives of Mosheen and his beautiful wife, Zunaira, have been gradually destroyed. Mosheen's dream of becoming a diplomat has been shattered and Zunaira can no longer even appear on the streets of Kabul unveiled. Atiq is a jailer who guards those who have been condemned to death; the darkness of prison and the wretchedness of his job have seeped into his soul. Atiq's wife, Musarrat, is suffering from an illness no doctor can cure. Yet, the lives of these four people are about to become inexplicably intertwined, through death and imprisonment to passion and extraordinary self-sacrifice.

The Swallows of Kabul is an astounding and elegiac novel of four people struggling to hold on to their humanity in a place where pleasure is a deadly sin and death has become routine. (goodreads.com)

5. The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi

Afghan-American Nadia Hashimi's literary debut novel is a searing tale of powerlessness, fate, and the freedom to control one's own fate that combines the cultural flavor and emotional resonance of the works of Khaled Hosseini, Jhumpa Lahiri, and Lisa See.

In Kabul, 2007, with a drug-addicted father and no brothers, Rahima and her sisters can only sporadically attend school, and can rarely leave the house. Their only hope lies in the ancient custom of bacha posh, which allows young Rahima to dress and be treated as a boy until she is of marriageable age. As a son, she can attend school, go to the market, and chaperone her older sisters.

But Rahima is not the first in her family to adopt this unusual custom. A century earlier, her great-great grandmother, Shekiba, left orphaned by an epidemic, saved herself and built a new life the same way.

Crisscrossing in time, The Pearl the Broke Its Shell interweaves the tales of these two women separated by a century who share similar destinies. But what will happen once Rahima is of marriageable age? Will Shekiba always live as a man? And if Rahima cannot adapt to life as a bride, how will she survive? (Amazon.com)

6. Shooting Kabul By N.H. Senzai

In the summer of 2001, twelve-year-old Fadi's parents make the difficult decision to illegally leave Afghanistan and move the family to the United States. When their underground transport arrives at the rendezvous point, chaos ensues, and Fadi is left dragging his younger sister Mariam through the crush of people. But Mariam accidentally lets go of his hand and becomes lost in the crowd, just as Fadi is snatched up into the truck. With Taliban soldiers closing in, the truck speeds away, leaving Mariam behind.

Adjusting to life in the United States isn't easy for Fadi's family, and as the events of September 11th unfold the prospects of locating Mariam in a war torn Afghanistan seem slim. When a photography competition with a grand prize trip to India is announced, Fadi sees his chance to return to Afghanistan and find his sister. But can one photo really bring Mariam home?

Based in part on Ms. Senzai's husband's own experience fleeing his home in Soviet-controlled Afghanistan in the 1970's, Shooting Kabul is a powerful story of hope, love, and perseverance. (goodreads.org)

7. Green on Blue: A Novel by Elliot Ackerman

Aziz and his older brother Ali are coming of age in a village amid the pine forests and endless mountains of eastern Afghanistan. They are poor, but inside their mud-walled home, the family has stability, love, and routine. One day a convoy of armed men arrives in their village and their world crumbles. The boys survive and make their way to a small city, where they gradually begin to piece together their lives. But when US forces invade the country, militants strike back. A bomb explodes in the market, and Ali is brutally injured.

To save his brother, Aziz must join the Special Lashkar, a US-funded militia. As he rises through the ranks, Aziz becomes mired in the dark underpinnings of his country’s war, witnessing clashes between rival Afghan groups—what US soldiers call “green on green” attacks—and those on US forces by Afghan soldiers, violence known as “green on blue.” Trapped in a conflict both savage and contrived, Aziz struggles to understand his place. Will he embrace the brutality of war or leave it behind, and risk placing his brother—and a young woman he has come to love—in jeopardy?

Green on Blue has broken new ground in the literature of our most recent wars, accomplishing an astonishing feat of empathy and imagination. Writing from the Afghan perspective, “Elliot Ackerman has done something brave as a writer and even braver as a soldier: He has touched, for real, the culture and soul of his enemy” (The New York Times Book Review). (barnesandnoble.com)

8. Caravans by James A. Michener

First published in 1963, James A. Michener’s gripping chronicle of the social and political landscape of Afghanistan is more relevant now than ever. Combining fact with riveting adventure and intrigue, Michener follows a military man tasked, in the years after World War II, with a dangerous assignment: finding and returning a young American woman living in Afghanistan to her distraught family after she suddenly and mysteriously disappears. A timeless tale of love and emotional drama set against the backdrop of one of the most important countries in the world today, Caravans captures the tension of the postwar period, the sweep of Afghanistan’s remarkable history, and the inescapable allure of the past. (barnesandnoble.com)

9. A Cup of Friendship: A Novel by Deborah Rodriguez

From the author of the “bighearted . . . inspiring” (Vogue) memoir Kabul Beauty School comes to a fiction debut as compelling as real life: the story of a remarkable coffee shop in the heart of Afghanistan, and the men and women who meet there - thrown together by circumstance, bonded by secrets, and united in an extraordinary friendship.

After hard luck and some bad choices, Sunny has finally found a place to call home - it just happens to be in the middle of a war zone. The thirty-eight-year-old American’s pride and joy is the Kabul Coffee House, where she brings hospitality to the expatriates, misfits, missionaries, and mercenaries who stroll through its doors. She’s especially grateful that the busy days allow her to forget Tommy, the love of her life, who left her in pursuit of money and adventure.

Working alongside Sunny is the maternal Halajan, who vividly recalls the days before the Taliban and now must hide a modern romance from her ultratraditional son - who, unbeknownst to her, is facing his own religious doubts. Into the café come to Isabel, a British journalist on the trail of a risky story; Jack, who left his family back home in Michigan to earn “danger pay” as a consultant; and Candace, a wealthy and well-connected American whose desire to help threatens to cloud her judgment.

When Yazmina, a young Afghan from a remote village, is kidnapped and left on a city street pregnant and alone, Sunny welcomes her into the café and gives her home - but Yazmina hides a secret that could put all their lives in jeopardy. As this group of men and women discover that there’s more to one another than meets the eye, they’ll form an unlikely friendship that will change not only their own lives but the lives of an entire country.

Brimming with Deborah Rodriguez’s remarkable gift for depicting the nuances of life in Kabul, and filled with vibrant characters that readers will truly care about, A Cup of Friendship is the best kind of fiction - full of heart yet smart and thought-provoking. (Amazon.com)

10. In the Sea There Are Crocodiles By Fabio Geda

What would you do if, when you were ten, you were left to fend for yourself, and, in order to survive, you had to undertake a harrowing journey all the way from Afghanistan to Italy?

In early 2002, Enaiatollah Akbari’s village fell prey to the Taliban. His mother, fearing for his life, led him across the border. So began Enaiat’s remarkable and often publishing five-year ordeal—trekking across bitterly cold mountains, riding the suffocating false bottom of a truck, steering an inflatable raft in violent waters—through Iran, Turkey, Pakistan, and Greece, before he eventually sought political asylum in Italy, all before he turned fifteen years old.

Here Fabio Geda delivers the moving true story of Enaiat’s extraordinary will to survive and of the accidental brotherhood he found with the boys he met along the way. In the Sea There Are Crocodiles brilliantly captures Enaiat’s engaging voice and humor, in what is a truly epic story of hope and survival, for readers of all ages. (barnesandnoble.com)

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words-writ-in-starlight · 5 years

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How about past swap AU? (Good Omens, Critical Role, Check Please would be my faves but go for whatever you want)

Anonymous asked:

Caleb and Beau backstory swap au

You two get to go together because this concept is very good, and also, you said backstory swap but not class swap and you’d best believe I’m about to get some mileage out of it.

Bren is born into the phenomenally well-off Ermendrud family of wine merchants, Zemnian transplants who moved south for the climate, and spends ten years fighting for his father’s approval, with some success but not…a ton. Then he turns out to have very little ambition toward being a merchant and a lot of ambition toward being a wizard, and that success starts to ebb with every spell Bren insists on learning. He hits his rebellious phase older than his family expected—or, rather, he gets caught older than his family expected. By the time he gets caught at twenty-four, Bren’s been playing smuggler for ten years and all but running the ring for four of them, expanding their scope beyond just wine and using illusion magic to keep them hidden. When he’s caught by his father, eighteen people go to jail, half of them give Bren up as the leader, and he takes his spellbooks and his coat and just…goes. He’s not hiding, but he’s also not interested in going to jail or whatever dire substitute his father has in mind, so he goes under a false name, and thus Caleb Widogast is born, half a criminal mastermind, half a spoiled rich kid, all magical powerhouse. He makes some weird friends not long after.

I care more about Beau in this AU.

Beauregard is born to the poor but adoring arms of her parents, who name her Beauregard for her beautiful blue eyes, even though they live in the Zemni Fields and Beauregard is a strange name for a child there, and who are so, so proud of her. She’s loud and boisterous and magically hopeless, but the woman who owns the small library in her town was trained by the Cobalt Reserve, back in the day, and she sees Beauregard chasing another kid through town and hollering threats about what’ll happen when she catches his lying ass when Beauregard is at the tender age of nine. By the time an aptitude tester comes through town and finds two magical prodigies, Beauregard is fifteen, a dab hand at several different flavors of martial art, and determined to be trained by the Cobalt Soul. She corners the aptitude tester and demands that he take her to Rexxentrum, insisting that she’ll find a way to reach the Reserve from there. Trent Ikithon doesn’t usually lower himself to something as—ungraceful, shall we say, as hand-to-hand combat, but Astrid and Eodwulf have only praise for how smart Beauregard is, how fast, how quickly she learns to strike someone and force them to tell her the truth, and… Well. That does sound useful. Beauregard, who wants nothing more than to prove her skills and serve the people she cares about, is starstruck and flattered when he offers to arrange for her private training, at his manor, with her own childhood friends. Of course she accepts.

Beauregard is not a leader, is not a magical prodigy, she is an instrument. Blunt or surgical, hard-hitting or calm and torturous, Beauregard is versatile, she is malleable, she is exactly what they need, exactly when they need it. She learns more and more about the techniques of the Cobalt Soul and carefully does not allow herself to wonder if this is really the kind of thing the Soul does. She’s good at something, the best at something, and every time she’s praised for the work of her hands and her fists and her ki, she drinks it in, revels in the knowledge that she’s helping the people she loves, that she’s serving the Empire, that she’s seeing justice done. Beauregard is so joyfully assured of what’s being done, of what she’s helping to do, that she doesn’t protest for a moment, when Trent Ikithon suggests that they try something to make her stronger. It’s not like you can even see the scars, under the wrappings she wears to protect her hands.

Beauregard burns down her family’s house with no magic and no finesse—it’s her, a horse cart, oil, and matches, while Astrid and Eodwulf stand beside her. And she’s so sure. She’s so sure. Her mother screams and screams, and Beauregard stands, and she’s—she’s so sure, until she’s not. She breaks Astrid’s wrist in the madness that comes down on her, after, and then—clouds, for a long, long time.

When Beauregard runs, she can’t bear to give up her name, the last thing she has from her family except for her beautiful blue eyes. So she calls herself Beau—Beau, bo, get it, she asks the goblin when she’s thrown in jail, and laughs and laughs, until she’s sobbing into her knees—and throws away last names like tattered paper. She remembers how to fight but simply doesn’t have the strength, the speed, and doesn’t have the money to buy enough food to get it back. She does her best, scrapes back her skill piece by piece, and gets arrested for some petty crime that pales in comparison to what she’s done. When the goblin nervously rests a hand on her back, pushes her half of their daily rations into Beau’s hands, Beau shakes her head, knees clasped to her chest and hands still wrapped up tight—she fought like a rabid thing when the guards tried to peel the bandages away, and they finally gave up, said that if she was so determined to hang herself, it was none of their concern.

“Hey,” the goblin says in a trembling, reedy voice on their third night as cellmates. “I heard the guards say you broke a guy’s jaw when they brought you in.”

“Probably,” Beau says. Sometimes she doesn’t remember fights so well these days—when there’s fire, when someone tries to show her arms.

“Well—do you wanna maybe break some more on the way out? I can get the lock, but I’m going to need some help between here and the door.”

Beau blinks slowly. “Okay,” she says.

Beau doesn’t break any jaws. Instead, she sees the path to freedom, snatches up her new friend, and burns all the ki she can touch to run as fast as she can.

#critical role #mighty nein #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #beau lionett #starlight writes stuff #headcanon meme #ask meme #this is About Beauregard my friends because while i talk MOST about loving caleb #i also LOVE BEAU #and therefore when provided with an opportunity to ABSOLUTELY TORTURE HER could not resist #ohhhhhhh my lovelies beau/yasha in this au???????#what CHOICE angst #holy shit #she and caleb are still really tight in this and WEIRDLY she's still his common sense #except in this he's Very Prepared to take command of the nein #and beau (who is experienced in power-hungry bastards)#understandably flips shit whenever he seems to be getting ahead of himself #he bargains for the story of why she's afraid of fire and tries not to use fire spells around her #neither of them are good at feelings but they sure are good at yelling at each other and pretending not to help each other #also!!!! in this nott adopts beau instead of her boy!!!!#'she's my girl. i protect HER. not the other way around.'#nott also semi-professionally pretends to be hurt worse than she is because beau never admits to injuries ever #like. in canon beau's just proud?#in this beau is trained Not To Say Anything #now in retrospect she realizes that it's because Good Weapons Don't Complain #she has internalized some Shit #GOD i love this okay i love this VERY much thank you for this gift #this is EXACTLY what i needed #queue deeper than the sea of stars

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fabby-book-blog · 5 years

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Literary Ventures #6 - 2015 Reading

Also the year that I switched my concentration from English education to literature and I was happier. A big happy stack!

List:

The Martian - Andy Weir

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamín Alire Sáenz

Our Happy Time - Gong Ji-Young

The Picture of Dorian Grey - Oscar Wilde

Emma - Jane Austen

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

Paper Towns - John Green

Wife of the Gods - Kwei Quartey

Phantom- Jo Nesbo

The Devotion of Suspect X - Keigo Higashino

A Fatal Grace - Louise Penny

Luther: The Calling - Neil Cross

The Secret Place - Tana French

Unwind - Neil Shusterman

Between Shades of Gray - Ruta Sepetys

Under the Blood Red Sun - Graham Salisbury

If You're Reading This - Trent Reedy

Counting by 7s - Holly Goldberg Sloan

Not pictured: Titus Andronicus, Othello, Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and Henry V by William Shakespeare. A number of British romantic works that were all in an anthology.

Okay, so the lit classes were 19th Century British Novels, Romantic Literature, and Detective Fiction. The Shakespeare stuff was for a Shakespeare-themed Literature and Film class. Some of those random unrelated novels were for an English-ed class (the one that convinced me to switch concentrations).

The ones read for fun were The Martian (movie was just released), Paper Towns (same reason I think but I never saw the movie lol), Our Happy Time, and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

Fun fact! 🎉 the author of Aristotle and Dante, Benjamín Saenz, was a professor at my university! I think he retired before I was able to start any upper level creative writing courses so I missed out.

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sepobulul607625 · 5 years

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best audiobooks for kids : The Last Full Measure by Trent Reedy | Kids

Listen to The Last Full Measure new releases best audiobooks for kids on your iPhone, iPad, or Android. Get any BOOKS AUDIO by Trent Reedy Kids FREE during your Free Trial

Written By: Trent Reedy Narrated By: Andrew Eiden Publisher: Scholastic Inc. Date: November 2016 Duration: 12 hours 52 minutes

#The Last Full Measure: Book 3 of Divided We Fall #The Last Full Measure Audiobook #Audiobook #Kids #Trent Reedy #Andrew Eiden

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puspetoste324055-blog · 5 years

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children's short stories audiobooks : The Last Full Measure by Trent Reedy | Kids

Listen to The Last Full Measure new releases children's short stories audiobooks on your iPhone, iPad, or Android. Get any BOOKS AUDIO by Trent Reedy Kids FREE during your Free Trial

Written By: Trent Reedy Narrated By: Andrew Eiden Publisher: Scholastic Inc. Date: November 2016 Duration: 12 hours 52 minutes

#The Last Full Measure: Book 3 of Divided We Fall #The Last Full Measure Audiobook #Audiobook #Kids #Trent Reedy #Andrew Eiden #November 2016

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shy-violet-soul · 5 years

Text

Try to Remember (1)

Pairing: OFC Rae, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel Summary: A forgotten memory surfaces and breaks Rae’s heart. How will the boys, with their own heartbroken history, help her heal? Warnings: Graphic descriptions of injuries/fatal injuries; grief; parent death; depression; angsty fluff Rating: Mature due to descriptions of canon-type gore Word Count: 3,700ish

A/N: We all love the funny moments with the brothers. But their sensitivity to someone else’s pain has always broken my heart a little, and I wanted to explore that. This is a companion piece to Life is Good (for you) & Just Desserts. You don’t have to read them to understand this story. This is my OFC Rae’s “origin” story.

A huge, sparkly, fluffy hug to my 2 betas @pinknerdpanda and @thesassywallflower. Ladies, you get all the Sam cuddles!

This is a work of fiction based upon characters created and owned by the CW. My work is not to be copied/distributed elsewhere without my written permission.

Playlist for this part: Sign Your Name - Terence Trent D’Arby

It started out as a good day.

On their way back from a hunt in eastern Illinois, Rae had squealed with excitement when she stumbled upon a Yelp listing for an ‘80’s themed diner. Located just outside of Olathe, Kansas, they were apparently famous for their retro cuisine and milkshakes. After shamelessly begging Dean to stop, he’d grumbled about wanting to get home until she said the menu’s magic words: Sloppy Joes. So convinced, the group had detoured to the charmingly dubbed ‘Mixtape Medleys Cafe’. Hair band posters plastered on the walls, Guns n Roses and George Harrison blasted from the jukebox, and a menu loaded with nostalgic delights were a welcome break from gas station food.

Dean was on his third Sloppy Joe sandwich, already rhapsodizing over the ‘Whatchmacalit’ candy bar milkshake he had ordered for dessert. Serious inroads made into his chicken caesar salad, even health-nut Sam had ordered something with actual, real sugar in it - a ‘Vanilla Cow Tale’ milkshake. Her plate of mini bagel pizzas stood empty as Rae laughed, waiting on her ‘Nerds’ milkshake. Another monster defeated, a nice young man saved, the three of them unscathed, and now their bellies were full and faces smiling.

It really had started out as a good day.

People talk about memories hitting them like a tsunami, or a ton of bricks. That’s not how it happened for Rae. It happened slowly. Like a glancing sprinkle of warm rain, barely noticeable. Then, another that spit into her face a bit. A pause, like the moment of calm before the unexpected thunderstorm when it was all blue skies and sunshine just a blink before.

One minute, Rae was laughing with the boys about something. Then, the distinctive drum beat tickled her ear. The reedy keyboard intro snagged her attention, and she glanced towards the jukebox across the diner. One heartbeat, two, and the unleashed memory wiped the smile from her face.

“Come on, honey, it’s our song!” her dad crooned, tugging her mom up from the couch. Rae giggled as her dad started grooving at the end of their outstretched arms, her mom rolling her eyes at his antics.

“You say that about every slow song, Alex.”

Smiling victoriously, Alex pulled her mom into his arms and began rocking side to side, winking at Rae where she sat on the floor with a book in her lap.

“But this is the one we danced to when I knew I was in love with you, Liz. So, it’s the most important.” Pecking a kiss to her nose, Alex pulled her closer to his chest and closed his eyes. “‘Sign your name across my heart, I want you to be my baby.’”

Shaking her head, Liz smiled fondly at her husband. “You still can’t sing, sweets.”

“‘Sign your name across my heart, I want you to be my lady!’” he yodeled out comically, drawing giggles from both girls. He tucked their entwined hands up into his shoulder and pressed a grinning kiss to her smile. Rae’s little nine year old heart warmed with happiness; her parents loved her and loved each other. She knew she’d remember their song forever.

And now, they were dead.

“...you okay?”

Rae flinched as a hand on her arm pulled her back to the present. She blinked at Sam seated next to her, then over at Dean. Shaking her head a bit to try and clear the fog, Rae drummed up a smile.

“Yeah. So, you duct-taped the guy to a chair, and started hacking the place with an axe?” Rae tried to pay attention as Sam told the story. But the crooning rock n’ soul voice had opened Pandora’s box, and more memories came pouring in. As the brothers’ chatter filled her ears, the bittersweet warmth of the recollection skirled into something cold. Instead of the cracked vinyl seat beneath her fingers, the raw bite of rope echoed in her wrists. The scent of french fries and sugar melted into smoke and camphor. And the images…

“Hey, there, honey bun! Here’s that milkshake for you!” The older, pink-haired waitress plunked the tall, frosted glass down in front of her with a flourish before she started teasing Dean about the saucy mess on his face. Lost in her head, Rae didn’t notice the woman collect up empty plates and promise the men their forthcoming desserts.

Pointing out missed smudges to Dean as his brother wiped up with a napkin, Sam’s gaze moved back to Rae. For someone who had completely geeked out over a ‘Nerds’ candy milkshake, she seemed to be uninterested in the beverage now. She stared blankly at the glass, off in her own world. Dean noticed her preoccupation, too, and reached over to give the glass a little nudge.

“Hey, Rainbow, it’s melting. Drink up!”

They watched as Rae blinked back to them from wherever she’d been, glancing back and forth between them before swallowing carefully and pushing the milkshake away from her.

“I changed my mind. You can have it.”

Dean’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “I’ve got crispy-peanutty-caramel goodness headed my way. That’s all yours, make me proud.”

Without a word, Rae slid the glass towards Sam, offering it to him with a bob of her chin. Sending her a quizzical smile, Sam urged it back to her.

“Extra pink ‘Nerds’ on top. Just like you asked. And a cherry!” he crowed, nabbing the goody by the stem and dangling it out to her.

Normally her favorite part of a milkshake or sundae, the sight of the sweetness through the haze of her memories churned her stomach.

The smile she offered was a sad little effort. Now Sam’s eyebrows quirked, halfway to his famed ‘puppy dog’ eyes when Rae merely shook her head before getting to her feet.

“I’m gonna run to the ladies room. Be right back.”

When she didn’t add on her usual, ‘don’t leave me again’, the brothers looked at each other.

“Okay, something’s up. What did you do?” Dean demanded.

“Yeah, I know. Wait, what? Why does it have to be me that did something? What did you do?”

The elder Winchester scoffed in denial. “I’ve been here the whole time, minding my own business with my ‘Manwich’ perfections.”

“She was fine up until the last couple of minutes. What were we talking about?”

Dean scowled as he thought. “We were talking about that time we went to the Mystery Spot and I died a lot. She was laughing about you trying to keep me from eating breakfast.”

Shaking his head, Sam frowned as he glanced towards the bathrooms. “Something’s not right.” Their waitress, Cyndi, reappeared, her sparkly-blue-shadowed eyes narrowed with concern.

“Hey, fellas, that honey bun of yours not happy with her shake?”

Flashing her his most charming smile, Dean answered, “actually, she’s not feeling well. If it’s not too much trouble, could we get our two shakes to go? And the check, if you don’t mind.”

Cyndi hurried to take care of things, and two styrofoam to-go cups and the guest check were delivered promptly. As Rae appeared, the men got to their feet to greet her.

“Hey, Rainbow, you ready to blow this popsicle stand?” Dean asked.

Quiet, a little pale, Rae saw the concern they failed to hide and valiantly tried to swallow the lump in her throat and smile.

“Yeah, let’s get home.” As Robert Palmer began belting out ‘Simply Irresistible’, Dean tucked Rae into his side and sauntered them towards the Impala. Sam tossed some bills on the table and hurried to follow.

*********************************************************************************

Sam and Dean stole surreptitious glances to the backseat for the next thirty minutes or so. When the silence began to crawl on her skin like ants, Rae forced some life into her voice.

“How about some AC/DC?” The brothers flashed each other a look before Dean thumped Sam in the chest.

“You heard the woman! Gimme the good stuff, bro, and keep your cake hole shut!”

Sam’s annoyed tones, Dean’s cackling mixed together with the soft clatter of the tapes rummaging together as Sam fished out the designated cassette and popped it in. ‘Back in Black’ promptly blared forth, and as Dean began drumming on the steering wheel, Rae let herself curl up and fade in the lack of attention.

It was taking everything she had to hide it from them.

Seven months, three weeks, and five days. It had been an exercise in blissful hyper-focus to count it out as Baby ate up the miles. Seven months, three weeks, and five days since they’d died. The early days had been about healing. Then, after the brothers shared the truth of their family business with her, the later weeks had been all about reeling. After countless hours of inactivity, Rae’s broken heart had craved industry. Anything to keep her from looking at memories too closely. So, she’d put that Master of Library Science degree to use and become the best damn researcher the Winchesters had ever seen. The familiar rhythms of reading and analysis comforted her while the unfamiliar topics kept her wholly engaged. Engaged meant busy. Busy meant distracted. Distracted meant forgetting.

Forgetting meant she never had to grieve.

That grief, along with all the memories, bitter and sweet both, Rae cobbled into her own personal Pandora’s box. Then, she promptly ignored it, walking her days untroubled. Until one jukebox song cracked it open.

As the Impala rumbled its way into the bunker garage, Rae blinked into the quiet when Dean cut off the engine. Exhaustion suddenly swamped her, her feet heavy as Rae dragged herself out of the car. As she strode towards the stairs, Rae tried to straighten her shoulders.

They’re watching you. Look normal. You’re fine.

They’d seen her unconscious, peeved, sassy, laughing, focused. But this Rae they’d never seen. Quiet. Not just quiet, but almost...not there. Their sharp eyes missing nothing, the brothers chatted to each other with seeming nonchalance as they followed her down into the library.

“All in all, that wasn’t a bad trip.” Dean dropped his duffel on the table, tagging after Rae into the kitchen.

“Yeah, it was nice to have a regular milk run. I need to update the records,”Sam mumbled around a yawn.

Rolling his eyes, Dean strolled to the frig and opened it. “C’mon, man. We scored one for the good guys. It’s Miller time. Relax,” he urged, pulling out three beers and handing one to Rae.

She took it wordlessly, the glass cold against her fingers. The bunker’s scent of concrete, steel, old books, and gunpowder, so familiar a few days ago, now felt wrong.

It should smell like vanilla from Mom’s baking, and Dad’s Old Spice cologne. Deep voices from the brothers wavered into her thoughts distantly, and an awful lump grew in her throat. That should be Mom complaining about Dad always leaving his coffee cup on the counter, and Dad yelling from the back porch about someone hiding the grill utensils again. Like horrid little fiends, the memories leaked out of that carefully cobbled box. They roiled in her head like awful eels. I miss the creak of Mom rocking in her chair, and Dad snoring under his newspaper on the couch. I miss them holding hands when they walked together.

The lump in her throat grew, burning up into her eyes and blinding her. I want to hear Dad whistling while he does the dishes. I want to see Mom trying to carry all the clean laundry down the hall in one go, and cussing when she drops the socks. I want…

“I don’t know why you’re always so down on everyone except Metallica and Zeppelin. There’s other good music out there, Dean.”

“Whatever, Fall Out Boy. Hey, there was that song at the diner. Dad hated that song, but it was kinda cool.”

“Which one?”

The older brother scratched the back of his neck as he thought. “I think the singer changed his name, but it was Tony. Timothy. Terry?”

Cocking his head to one side, Sam frowned as he thought. “You mean, Terence?”

Dean pointed at his brother. “Yeah! Terence Trent D’Arby sang it. How did it go? ‘Sign your name across my heart?’” he mumbled out.

The sob that tore from Rae sounded like it was ripped straight from her soul, yanking their attention to her. The beer bottle slipped from her suddenly limp hand, smashing into foamy shards on the floor. They darted towards her when she wavered, Sam wrapping his arms around her before she collapsed knees-first into the broken bottle at her feet.

“Rae! Rae, what is it?”

“Rainbow, sweetheart, what’s going on?”

Their questions garbled into her ears as if she was underwater. Months of tears torrented through her, opening up an ocean of grief that pulled her under.

The agony left her drowning.

Sam’s heart pounded in his chest as he scooped Rae into his arms when she sagged against him, plopping to the floor and holding her in his lap. Dean knelt in front of them, his own heart chugging with alarm at Rae’s continued sobs.

“What happened?” Dean carefully brushed messy caramel-colored strands from her face. “Rainbow, talk to me!”

Distantly, Rae felt warm, rough hands on her face, strong arms surrounding her. A fleeting dart of awareness over the Winchesters’ alarm stitched through her, and she tried to speak, but her throat closed up over another choked cry. The urgent calling of her name had her desperately sucking at air as she tried again.

“What? What did you say, Rae?” Ducking his chin to try to look into her face, Sam tried to maneuver her so he and Dean could see her.

“S-saw...”

“It’s okay, Rae, just take a breath. We got you,” Dean tried to soothe her, keeping his voice gentle.

“The s-song-” The men blinked at the coughed out words. Sam’s mind spun as he tried to think.

“You mean, from the diner? The Terrence guy’s song?” Another harsh cry tore from Rae as she weakly nodded her head.

“Theirs.”

Gently squeezing her a bit, Sam quizzed her again. “Whose song, Rae?”

“M-muh….peh-peh...parents.”

Dean felt his windpipe squeeze as he looked up to meet Sam’s gaze. He saw his own memories in his brother’s eyes - their first meeting with Rae.

Baby’s doors groaned open before the car fully stopped. The brothers sprinted up the lawn, their boots sliding a bit on the rain-slickened grass. Smoke bit acridly into their faces when Dean kicked in the front door. Maniacal laughter mocked them as they took in the scene. Blood pooled steadily beneath a woman crumpled on the floor. A lone figure tied to a chair writhed as it burned. His horrid, awful screams clawed at them in jagged edges.

“Heil! All heil to the Thule!” cackled the young blond man rocking side to side feverishly. Aaron Bass hadn’t known the identity of the Thule operative wreaking havoc in the northeast, just that he and the golem couldn’t get there. His plea for help had sent the Winchesters hurrying to Bennington, Vermont. As Sam pointed his gun at Christoph Nauhause, the memory of letting him walk away from them once had both guilt and rage churning in their guts. A bullet in his brain silenced the peals of unholy glee, but the man immolating in front of them continued to scream out his agony. Dean knew the man was too far gone to save; frustrated tears and smoke itched in his throat as he aimed and fired. Abruptly, mercifully, the man died as his flesh burned around him.

Sam leaped over the sofa, crouching down beside the woman. The neat slice across her throat wasn’t deep enough to kill her outright, but the rapid blood loss pouring from the wound would soon enough. As Dean tried to extinguish the flames, Sam tried to comfort the dying woman.

“Shhh, shhh, just be still,” he whispered, grasping her shoulder to try and subdue her shaking. She didn’t so much as glance at him, her gaze fixed towards the wall. One hand tremored outward, reaching, pointing spasmodically as her breaths wheezed wetly from her. Sam followed the line of her hand, distantly hearing Dean curse behind him.

A young woman sat tied to another chair against the wall, hidden in the shadows. Blood from numerous, carefully placed stabs and cuts showed shiny in the flickering light from the fire. Tufts of ragged curls sliced from her hair dusted her front and lap. And her eyes, swollen, bruised, shone dark with dazed horror at the scene before her.

“Sam! Sam, the fire’s spreading, we gotta go!” Dean suddenly jostled against him, following his gaze to the girl. As one, the brothers strode urgently to her side, knives quickly slicing her free. Sirens began calling in the distance as Dean pulled at a stubborn length of nylon. “Let’s go!”

With a violent yank at the last tie, Sam scooped the limp girl into his arms, following Dean as the elder brother kicked flaming furniture to clear a path. In moments, the Impala roared away from the incoming sirens, Dean watching the emergency vehicles brake in front of the scene as he drove them away.

“Son of a bitch!” he shouted.The impotence and desperation of the failure in the rearview mirror suddenly swamping him as he pounded his hand on the steering wheel. In the backseat, Sam swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, at a loss for words in the moment. A movement from the girl caught his attention, her head lolling back as she stared vacantly out the window. The whisper, nearly lost to the rumble of the engine, broke his heart.

“Momma...Dad…”

In the next heartbeat, she’d sagged into unconsciousness. They’d taken her to their hotel room, the next twenty-four hours a whole different battle. The brothers stitched her up, bandaged her, dosed her. They took it in shifts sitting up with her. Watching. Waiting. Not just for any sign of life. No, after that painful loss, the Winchesters were ready to take on whatever reaper dared to darken their doorstep. They wanted a win - needed it. Loss after loss weighed on the brothers like Atlas’ own burden.

Reaper, or hellhound, or whatever douchebag deity ruled the roost finally decided they were due a sliver of good luck. No one came knocking for her soul that night. They didn’t have to mourn another loss behind silence, whiskey, or work.

Slowly, over the crawling-by days, bandages and antibiotic cream were swapped out for lore books and the internet. She just seemed to fit, all at once, into a space in them they didn’t know was empty. She seized onto things with a tenacity that rivaled theirs. New resources of research opened before them with that librarian background. Dean even started grinning with pride at how she was coming along with her shooting (not that she was going to be let out of Baby on hunts anytime soon). Rae grew into that surprise space so smoothly and quickly, the brothers almost didn’t notice that she never mourned.

She was mourning now.

The pain squeezed her chest until she couldn’t breathe, her hands cold as she sank deeper into this ocean. Her body pulled at oxygen, and it fueled a sudden, awful rage within her. It geysered up out of her belly and into her head, ripping a shrill scream free.

“Why?! I wanna know why!” When her fists tightened in their shirts till the wrinkles pinched them, the boys didn’t even flinch at the sting. Sam squeezed her tighter as she screamed, eyes closed under the weight of her pain. Dean’s hands stroked her hair, a gentle answer as she thrashed in their arms.

Slowly. Slowly, the clangor caved to their quiet. She sagged spent and hiccuping in their arms.

“I don’t even know where they’re buried. I mean, it’s probably at Park Lawn. Dad’s parents are at Old Bennington, but Mom didn’t like it there. She didn’t want people tromping over her grave trying to find Robert Frost.”

“She didn’t like Robert Frost?” Sam asked quietly.

A sad, sorry chuckle croaked from Rae.

“She hated birch trees. Had one in our backyard that kept getting fungus. She held a grudge on the man for making the damn trees so popular.”

Dean dragged his fingers softly through her hair, squeezing her knee with his free hand.

“She held a grudge on a dead guy for a poem about a tree?”

“Yup.” Her chin quivered back another sob. “Daddy had me researching arborists to try and save it for her again.” She shrugged her shoulders, a loose, weary move as she swallowed the stickiness in her throat. “And now they’re gone. Me, too, I guess.”

Sam felt his heart pounding on the lump in his throat as he let himself hug Rae the teensiest bit closer against his chest. Let his chin rub against her hair just a breath.

“You’re not gone, Rae. I know - I know it’s hard. Just try to remember that you’re here. And we’re here.”

The message hung loud and clear in the quiet, their comfort an anchor in the torrent that still tugged at her. For whatever reason, her life had been spared. Purpose still existed for her. Friendship, camaraderie still surrounded her.

If Dean’s gaze urged his brother to voice anything softer, warmer than friendship, Sam’s bitch face shot him down as Rae tiredly rubbed her eyes.

“Hey, Rainbow. Why don’t you go take a hot shower? I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

Her eyes still dim, she tried to smile for Dean.

“My hot chocolate or Dean hot chocolate?”

Easing back on his heels, Dean took her hand as he and Sam both helped her up.

“There is nothing wrong with a shot of rum in hot chocolate. Delicious and nutritious!” he proclaimed. His words had the desired effect as a bigger smile tugged at her features.

“Can’t argue with that.”

Sheepish eyes ducked away from their gazes as Rae squeezed their hands and headed for the hall. A moment later, they heard her bedroom door shut. They stared at each other, the heaviness of the scene still playing on them.

“We’ve gotta tell her, Sam.”

“I know.”

A/N: Liked it? Read part 2 HERE.

#try to remember #sam winchester #dean winchester fic #sam winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #sam x ofc #dean x ofc #supernatural fanfiction

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