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peanutpinet · 7 months

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The Bat & Dove - Jeno Mafia (racer) x fem reader

Synopsis: In the public’s eye, NCT was just like any other celebrity agency with some of the neos being actors, famous racers, athletes, and other public figures. Jeno was one of the racers of NCT in front of the public but behind all of the public’s eye and cameras was an introverted yet smart racer who could memorise every single track that he had been on and could calculate anything he targeted. But one thing that he couldn’t figure out was his feelings towards a certain modest girl.

Warnings: Floof before the storm, cursing, drug usage, kidnapping inflicting pain, illegal fight, racing, near rape themes, angst, torture

A/N: I swear Jeno has suddenly gotten me writing a long-ass fic for him and about mafia :)) I ain't complaining cause The Bat Video and Performance is just 🤌🏼 Also, if any of you have been here since my first few NCT fics, this is a slight spin-off of Taeyong x Medic Girl fic (my 3rd NCT fanfic). And now, your author shall go back and figure out another fic whilst attending SMtown on Saturday :]

Taeyong x Medic Girl: pt 1

Never did you think that in your whole life, you would be flying in a first-class seat heading towards Milan, Italy with your boyfriend of one year, Jeno Lee, the famous racer in South Korea. The one who would always win the race no matter the circumstances.

You and Jeno met almost 2 years ago when you were working part-time for your local cafe and had to cover for your friend who always does the night shift. It was your first night shift and everything was going well until you had to close up for the night.

You were taking out the trash when there were a gang of drunk college students who tried to touch you when you clearly had no energy to fight back. Luckily enough, Jeno and his friends were right around the corner when it happened and something about that night, Jeno who is typically a rather quiet, introverted member of NCT decided to fight back.

Jeno managed to stop the college students before they did anything further. Jeno looked over towards you and nudged you to go back inside of the cafe which you did without questioning him. Not long after, Jeno came into the cafe to check up on you.

Seeing his slightly bruised knuckles, you told Jeno to sit down and helped clean his injuries and wounds. After that incident, Jeno decided to watch you from afar whenever you had night shift and the rest was basically history.

You weren’t someone who came from an elite family at all. Instead, you came from a simple family that earns slightly more than enough to live. When you met Jeno, you were in your final semester of university and working part-time to earn some sort of whereas he was already a well-known racer in the country.

Shortly after you graduated, Jeno asked you to be his girlfriend and even managed to help you get a job that pays you well to help your parents. Even though you can earn on your own now, Jeno would still shower you with gifts that you had always wanted and more. Jeno would also often invite you to hang out with him and his friends, to get to know his group so that you would have some company whenever you attend his races.

But this time, it was an international race and Jeno insisted that you come because he had an extra ticket to watch his racing but also he wanted you to be able to explore other parts of the world with him. You were always there for him after a long day and would always take care of him without knowing much and he wants to return the favour. But also seeing you smile just brightens Jeno’s day.

Upon reaching the hotel, Jeno asked if you were alright to stay and sleep in the same room with him because he’s worried whenever you’re alone which you were alright but you nervously told him that you had never slept on the same bed with a guy before.

“Don’t worry, love. If you’re nervous, I can ask to change our room to two separate beds. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I just worry whenever you’re alone but I promise that I’ll give you all the privacy you need” Jeno mentioned, putting both your suitcases as you explore the huge room that you’re not used to at all

“Jen, there’s no need to. I trust you. I trust that you won’t cross my boundaries. Plus, this room is huge, there’s more than enough space to have some sort of privacy” you replied, looking out the view from the balcony of the room

“I’m glad that you trust me so much. I promise that I’ll make this trip unforgettable” Jeno mumbled, back hugging you as he kissed the side of your temple, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck

Because you were staying for a full week, the first 2 days were just filled with you and Jeno exploring the city, occasionally getting lost together but stumbled upon some sort of local cafe or even park. By the 3rd day, Jeno had his race and had already been preparing since early in the morning, not forgetting to kiss your forehead and left a note before he left.

Waking up to a lighter bed, you found a box with a note attached to it. “I got it before I asked you to come with me because either way, you would eventually come. I hope that you’ve been enjoying your holiday because I know that I have. You have always been so caring and loving to me. I know that I’ve spoiled you here and there but just this one time, throughout our time in Milan, let me spoil you like a princess. Let me show you how much I care and adore you because I know that you’re the one for me. Go on, princess, put on your gown and come to be my good luck charm so that I can show you how much you mean to me” - your little puppy disguised as a wolf

Opening the box, you were shocked to see a gorgeous white buttoned dress matched with a simple handbag and shoes. Taking a picture of the box and note, you sent it to Jeno who almost replied immediately and texted you that he had hair & makeup on their way along with breakfast. Jeno also mentioned to Renjun, Yangyang, and Shotaro would be there to pick you up since Haechan and Jaemin were with him.

After you’ve gotten your hair & makeup done, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, it was Renjun, Yangyang and Shotaro, just as Jeno mentioned. You thanked the hair & makeup team as they left your room as the 3 men waited for you to finish your breakfast which you offered to them.

“Don’t worry about us, we already had breakfast a while ago” Renjun mentioned

“Are you excited to see Jeno race in an international competition?” Yangyang asked and you shyly nod. “Jeno was right when he said that you were shy. But it’s alright. Just enjoy yourself during this trip. Come on, let’s go!! The race is gonna start soon” Yangyang exclaimed as you took your things and headed out with the 3 males.

Arriving at the racing track, you and the 3 males went to the designated seat which were in a nice middle spot to see the entire track and you could even see your boyfriend getting ready by the pit stop with his other friends, Jaemin and Haechan.

As the announcer mentioned that the race was about to start, all the racers went to their designated cars to get ready to race.

Jeno’s POV

“Remember, it’s that one over there, number 712. The copycat as I like to name them” Haechan mentioned, nudging towards the racer and car that was already by the track

“Hmm. I’ve been eyeing them since the moment they stepped foot in this place” I replied, putting on his glove and taking my helmet from Jaemin

“Don’t interact when unnecessary. We’re just here to make sure that they’re not going to pull anything today. But just in case, there’s an emergency box underneath your seat. Plus, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo hyung are in the area to watch over” Jaemin mentioned

“I know. I’m not worried about what’ll happen to us. I’m more worried about (y/n)” I mentioned, turning around to see (y/n) in the crowd with the others

“She’ll be alright. The 3 of them are with her. Yangyang is a skilful shooter, Shotaro is amazing in combat and Renjun is a doctor + hacker. Plus, as Jaemin mentioned, our three reliable hyungs are here. There’s nothing to worry about” Haechan mentioned, shrugging

“Keep an eye on their team, I’ll deal with the driver” I replied, putting on my helmet and driving towards the track

Before the race actually started, I kept a close eye on the target that Taeyong-hyung instructed.

Flashback

“I received news that our copycat gang will be racing in the Italian Grand Prix which you will also be attending along with the 00 liners” Taeyong mentioned, pushing the information towards me

“What do you need us to do? Kill them? Kidnap them? Take them down? Expose them?” I questioned, flipping through all the information that Taeyong gave

“They’re known as a fraud. They tend to pretend to be one of our gang because no one truly knows who is part of our main gang like you in Dream, WayV, 127, aside from me, Mark and Kun being the leaders since it would only just be the 3 of us whenever we go to meetings. Take them down. Expose them as the frauds they are. But don’t. kill. them.” Taeyong mentioned and I closed the information looking back at our leader

“Why would you think that I would kill them?” I asked, raising my eyebrow

“Because you’re going with your girlfriend. And I’m sure that whatever happens to her, you’re not going to sit tight. You’re probably going to see red everywhere and without thinking, you might actually kill one of them upon sight. I know my members, Jeno. You’re one of them that never misses a shot. You’re also quiet and reserved but you pay attention to every detail. That’s why nothing ever gets missed by you. Especially when it comes to your girlfriend” Taeyong explained, sipping on his coffee

“Nothing will happen to her. And how did you know that I was going to bring (y/n)?!” I asked

“Like I said, I know my members. But take it from someone who also has a significant other whilst being part of this, even though my girlfriend is part of our world, one thing for sure is that we will never be alright with them getting hurt. But the job is just as important, Jeno. I’m not saying that you neglect your girlfriend. I just want you to know that unless it’s just the two of you or it’s a completely cornered situation, don’t abandon or change your mission. I also have DoJaeJung to come with you since they’ll be attending their respective brands’ event” Taeyong mentioned. “So, I hope to not hear any killing. Not until you bring them back to me alive at least” Taeyong added on

Back to the Present

As I remembered my conversation with Taeyong hyung, the race finally started and I stepped on the gas, hard. Not only was my goal to win this race but I wasn’t going to let some frauds use our group’s name and get all the credit. No, I was going to make them look bad.

As I was halfway through my laps, I started to hear that other drivers and their cars were being hijacked and thus injuring the drivers. “Jen, that copycat of a group hijacked the other cars since they were the first to come. But Jaemin and I have already checked your car and removed everything that wasn’t supposed to be there. Yet, it looks like he knows that nothing is happening to your car so he’s catching up on you” I heard Haechan comment in my ear-in

“They don’t know that we’re actually part of NCT, right?” I asked, eyeing from my mirror and seeing the 712 guy catching up

“Nope. Just as Taeyong-hyung mentioned, they only know that you’re Lee Jeno the undefeatable racer from South Korea. They have no idea that you’re the Jeno Lee from NCT” Haechan replied

“Good. I’ll give them something to be worried about” I scoffed, stepping on the gas and seeing that 712 was still catching up through my left side and was leaning in until I saw the opportunity and put my car in reverse and went past their car as they hit the wall and I continued on and win the race

Going out of my car, I took off my helmet and was welcomed with a big hug from Haechan and Jaemin along with a wild roar from the crowd as the announcer announced that I was the winner. After taking a bow towards the crowd, I scanned through them and saw (y/n) who looked relieved to see me. Her smile was something that I noticed made me feel better throughout the past few days here and I would never want that genuine smile to ever turn to something else in a split second.

After the award ceremony was over, I shook hands with the other racers, thanking them for a good race up until Mr. 712 came and ruined the mood.

“Lee Jeno, is it?” 712 exclaimed, his team was trying to hold him back as Jaemin, Haechan and I just looked at them with a bored yet annoyed look that intimidated them

“Yes. And you are?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow

“The name is Brad. My team and I are part of NCT of the US branch” Brand proclaimed as Haechan scoffed

“Do you even know what NCT is? It’s South Korea’s mafia gang that managed to get the other mafia gang in the world at peace with how diverse the members are” Haechan explained as Jaemin slightly elbowed him

“Of course we know that. How do you think they were able to expand to the US? It was because of us. I just want to let you know that what you did back there was not cool and just you wait until the rest of our members here about this” Brand exclaimed

“Then why did you try to close in on me first? You were the one who started it, I was just merely getting myself away from any potential risks that could happen because of you. So don’t go around and blame me for what you started” I scoffed, slightly towering over the self-proclaimed NCT member

“Jeno!” I heard Renjun exclaim and as we all turned around, we saw Renjun, Yangyang, Shotaro and (y/n) coming towards us

“Is, is it a bad time?” I heard (y/n) mumbled but I softly grabbed her hand and rubbed her hand

“No, don’t worry. We were just done here” I replied, giving (y/n) my signature smile

“It was a good race, Brad. Hope that what happened today won’t happen ever again” I mentioned as I pull (y/n) to my side as all of us left the track

Back at the hotel, we all went to freshen up and had dinner together to celebrate my win and all but just being with (y/n) eases my clouded thoughts of Brad and the way that he looked at (y/n) when she came with the other members.

“Jen, eat up. You must be tired” (y/n) mentioned, nudging a spoon of mashed potatoes towards me which I smiled and ate the food she fed me

“Don’t worry babe, I was just driving, am not tired at all” I smiled at her as I fed her some pasta which she happily eat, showing off her little chipmunk cheeks

“Still, you woke up so early for the race. Eat up and then rest, okay?” (y/n) mentioned and I nodded

“Don’t talk about me when you haven’t eaten much at all young lady. I will not have you going back home without enjoying yourself. Now eat” I playfully threatened, feeding (y/n) some more food

“So this is your excuse for not helping me back there is because you got food for your girl?! No offense (y/n) but your man here is a selfish little ass because he clearly could’ve placed more food on the plate but noooo” Haechan dramatically complained, sitting next to (y/n) but I pulled her seat closer towards me

“You want food, Haechan? If I get you some and shove it down to your mouth, would you stop pestering my girlfriend?” I somewhat threatened and eyeing the playful boy but (y/n) held my hand to stop me. “Jen, stop. Haechan was just being playful” (y/n) warned me, her tone was scarier than usual that I instantly soften my looks

The rest of dinner went by quicker and by the end of it, we all drank a bit of alcohol which to (y/n) it was just another celebration but to the rest of us, it was to calm our nerves because after tonight, the real work actually begins.

Once dinner was over, we all went back to our own rooms just as me and (y/n) held hands together to our room. In the comfort of our room, I let loose of my colder exterior and hugged (y/n) from behind as she was in the bathroom and was trying to remove her makeup.

“Jen, I need to remove my makeup, if you want to hug me, you better not move unless you want me to go blind as I remove my eye makeup” (y/n) reminded me and we stayed in the position for a while

“Can’t help it babe, you’re gorgeous. I knew that dress would accentuate your beauty. Plus, you look hot when you’re slightly angry” I mumbled, kissing the back of (y/n)’s neck, nuzzling behind her as I hear her let out a breathy sigh

“Jen” (y/n) called out to me, turning around to face me as her back was pressed against the bathroom counter. “You drank quite a lot, didn’t you?” (y/n) asked, cupping my face

“Nope. I didn’t” I replied because it was true. “I’m sober” I added on, holding one of her palm and kissing it

“What’s wrong jen? Tell me. You don’t normally drink like you did today. You would drink in sips not in shots” (y/n) asked. She truly do know me well

Sighing, I hugged her waist while she softly stroked my hair which helped calm me better than the alcohol. After a while, I pulled away and gently lifted her to place her on the countertop so it would be easier to talk.

“Just some things on my mind, angel. How I worry whenever you’re alone without me. Not in a possessive kind. How I worry that my job might get in between us” I stated, there was some truth to it

“Jen. You don’t have to worry about me. You know that I’m okay with being alone sometimes. Even though it feels more homey and comfy with you. And don’t worry about your job getting in between us. I know how hard you’re working so that I don’t have to but I know you let me work so I can have my own savings as well. And for that I really wanna thank you and appreciate you. How you would often send my parents some money as well. You know, my parents asked me if you’ve popped the question and I told them that we’re young and we want to enjoy and explore many things together first” (y/n) replied, making me smile

“I’m glad that your parents approve of me. In their own way of course. And I will pop the question one day because I really can’t see myself with anyone else. You never question me or push me to be someone else. You would always be there and wait until I was ready to talk which makes me more comfortable and want to talk to you more. How has Milan been, little dove?” I confessed

“Dove?” (y/n) asked and I just chuckled. “Yea. Because how soft and pure you are. How you’re basically my peace, love to explore and enjoy your freedom whilst also giving your love to me. So, how has Milan been?” I explained

“It’s incredible because you were the one that brought me here. You’re the one that insist that I come and I’m glad you convinced me to because this is just as magical and as romantic as people describe Paris” (y/n) mentioned, placing her hands on my neck, slightly massaging it

“Good. I’m glad that you’ve been enjoying yourself a lot because I have a little gift for you. Since you already planned our first year anniversary back home. I decided to plan my own but in Milan. Here” I mentioned, pulling out a little box that I got so early in the morning and opened it which has a dainty necklace with 3 rings that were linked together and was custom-made since the gold ring had a custom small nct logo embossing on it as Taeyong’s request for all of us when we have a significant other.

“Jen….that’s expensive!! My whole outfit is already expensive enough. I can’t..” (y/n) complained but I sushed her by softly kissing her forehead

“Nonsense, dove. Nothing is as expensive as you yourself. You’re priceless. I want to because I want something for you to always remember me and our moment here in Milan” I softly replied. “May I?” I asked if it was alright to put the necklace on her and she nodded

Helping her down, (y/n) turned around, and held her hair as I gently put the necklace around her and locking it which to me, it symbolizes that I’m locked on her and as a reminder that she was my significant other and under nct’s protection.

“It’s beautiful, Jen. You really didn’t have to” (y/n) mumbled, admiring the necklace as I put my hands around her waist, admiring her through the mirror

“You’re beautiful. Can I kiss you? I know that you’re still shy when it comes to physical things and I completely understand if…” I rambled as (y/n) let go of my hold and turned around, softly pecking my lips

“With you, I think I’ve slowly tried to let loose more and enjoy every moment” (y/n) smiled which made me smile and gently cupped her face and leaned to finally close the gap between us. Something that I never imagine we would do during the beginning of our relationship.

As time pass, our kiss grew from something soft like the small waves by the beach, I slowly grew needier and slowly deepen the kiss, one of my hand was by her waist and one of (y/n)’s hair was going through my hair.

Before it can go any further, I pulled away first and softly caressed (y/n)’s cheek, making sure that she was alright with it. “Are you okay? Sorry, I got carried away. We can stop here if you want. And we can just end the night by cuddling whilst watching your favorite Disney movies” I suggested but was shocked by (y/n)’s sudden eagerness as she pulled my neck and our foreheads were touching

“Jen. I’m okay. I trust you, Nono. You have my green light” (y/n) replied which excited me that I kissed her forehead, cheek and jawline. “Tell me whenever you’re uncomfortable at any point, tell me, okay?” I asked but all I got was a nod so I gently pinched (y/n)’s chin. “Use your words, dove. I won’t continue anything if you don’t use your words” I whispered by her ear, hearing her softly whimper for the first time.

“I will, Jen. I’ll tell you if I feel uncomfortable” (y/n) softly moaned as I nibbled her ear. “Just call me, Nono, okay? I want you to feel comfortable. You’ll let me treat you, won’t you?” I mumbled, kissing right below (y/n)’s ear. “Yes, Nono”

Taking one more glance at (y/n), I licked my lips before diving in and kissing her as if that it would be the only time I get to. Without warning, I lifted her and wrapped her legs around my waist without detaching our lips and brought us to the bed where I sat down and let (y/n) sit on my lap.

As the atmosphere was getting hotter, I started to take off my jacket and unbutton my shirt which didn’t go unnoticed by (y/n) who softly pulled away to allow me to take off my top with more space. “Go ahead, dove, take it off” I stated, pushing some of (y/n)’s hair back

Though (y/n) was hesitant at first, I softly grabbed her hands and guided them and took off my shirt, leaving my bare chest for her to see. Seeing her flustered self was adorable because she looked so pure yet curious that I guided her hand on my chest before cupping her cheek and kissing her, ending our night on a much softer yet romantic note.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up after a bad dream that something happened to (y/n). Looking beside me, I saw her figure sleeping soundly with my hoodie which made me feel relieved.

Unable to sleep, I decided to reply to some messages from Taeyong and the other members back in South Korea regarding the trip, any updates and progress. As I was replying to the other members and the group chat, Taeyong suddenly called me. Thankfully my phone was on do not disturb so I wouldn’t wake (y/n) up.

Answering the phone call, I went over towards the balcony so as to not disturb my girlfriend. “Hyung? Is everything alright?” I asked, closing the door to the balcony

“I should be the one asking you. Why are you up this early in the morning? Something happened?” Taeyong asked but I just chuckled

“No. Everything has been going great actually. I won the race, I spent my first year anniversary and gave (y/n) the necklace yet…” I rambled but Taeyong seemed to know more

“You’re worried that things will go to a wrong turn and you’ll end up hurting her and yourself. I know Jeno. I know how. you might feel. Why do you think I sent other members with you? 3 of them being your seniors” Taeyong replied

“Hyung…” I started but Taeyong didn’t let me continue. “I know how you might feel. I know that you want to enjoy your time with her and I’m sorry that you have to take part in this mission but that’s why I sent members with you. To keep you company, to support one another, and to help each other when things go for a wrong turn. She has the necklace with her so even in other countries, the mafia knows to not touch her. Plus, since we’re not the mafias’ enemies, they would help. Just so you know, the Italian mafia is going to be at the Ferragamo dinner tomorrow and I’ve already let them in on you being our representative. If anything were to happen to you or (y/n), they can help. Since they also are looking to take down that fraud of a group since one of them claims to be part of the Italian mafia” Taeyong explained

“Some cocky bastards they are” I scoffed, making Taeyong chuckled. “It’s going to be alright Jeno. And one day, when you do tell (y/n) everything, we’ll be there to help however we can. And remember…” Taeyong hyung mentioned. “Don’t kill them until I bring them back to you. Alive. I know. I won’t” I replied. “Good. Get some rest Jeno, I wish you all the best. If anything were to actually happen, I would know so you won’t have anything to worry about. I and the others would never abandon one another. Neo always got our back, okay? Good night, Jeno” Taeyong hyung replied, turning off the call

Smiling to myself, I quietly went back into the room but as I went back to the bed, my sudden weight must’ve shocked (y/n) that she woke up. “I’m so sorry, dove, did I accidentally wake you up?” I whispered, stroking her hair

“Nono? Are you okay? Why are you awake in the first place?” (y/n) asked as she slowly sat up on the bed but I pulled her close so her head was laying on my chest

“Had a bad dream and was replying to my work friends in South Korea” I replied as (y/n) hummed

“Dove. I want you to know that I love you so fucking much. That I would never abandon you and would never leave you completely alone” I started which confuses (y/n). “Jen, what are you talking about? Why are you talking as if something were to happen to you?” (y/n) asked, her face looking towards me with worry

“I just have a feeling, dove. Like I said, I worry that my job would get between us. With what I’m doing, there are actually other things that you haven’t known yet but I want to tell you one day which I hope you’ll understand why I haven’t been telling you. But let’s just say that I’m part of something bigger than just a racer. Though it might sound illegal, we really aren’t. But one thing is for sure, I would always prioritize your safety above all. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with, no matter what, I will make sure that you’re alright. So please promise me that if anything were to happen and I wasn’t the one to help you, it’s not that I don’t love or care for you. But it’s really because I’m caught up. But please know that whoever is there to help you is someone that I trust to bring us back together” I rambled and expected (y/n) to question me further but instead, she kissed right by my jawline.

“Jen, I know that there might be something you’re keeping from me and while I have my guesses, I want you to be ready whenever you do tell me. Trust me when I say that whatever it is that you do, it doesn’t change my mind how I feel about you. Maybe I might get angry and upset but at the end of the day, you were there for me and the fact that you’re telling me this before anything shows me how much you really care about me and our relationship. Just promise that you’ll always come back to me?” (y/n) replied making me melt in her embrace

“Fuck. What did I do to deserve you?! I don’t even think that I myself would be able to distance myself from you, dove. You’ll always make it feel as if we just met” I admitted, softly lifting (y/n) up a bit so I could kiss her before we go back to our slumber.

Waking up the next morning, I kissed (y/n)’s forehead as she snuggled closer to me, making me chuckle. “Dove, I’ll order us some breakfast, okay? Well, more so brunch since it’s 10 already. What do you want to eat?” I asked, stroking her hair as I took the hotel phone to call room service

“Anything is alright, Nono. I ate so much the other day so let’s not order too much” (y/n) yawned which made me laugh

Once room service came, I got notified that the stylist along with hair & makeup were on their way since our “dinner” was at 5 pm and it was basically lunchtime by the time our food came. After taking turns to shower and get ready, our food arrives along with the styling team.

Because I had simpler makeup, I finished first and went to the bathroom to change as (y/n) finished getting her hair and makeup done. I wore a black suit with the jacket being a long coat that basically covered the rest of my clothing and my hair was rather slicked but had bangs to frame my face.

When I came out, I saw (y/n) just about finished with her hair and makeup and she absolutely looked breathtaking. I stood behind her as her hair & makeup team moved out of the way. “You look stunning, dove” I whispered, admiring her from the mirror, seeing her turning into the same shade as her blush

“Look who’s talking, Mr Ferragamo’s Brand Ambassador” (y/n) teased as I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, kissing the side of her temple

“Let me change, Jen. The stylist is gonna get angry” (y/n) mentioned, getting up and releasing my grip around her

“If they scold you, I’ll scold them back. No one scolds my girl when I’m around” I replied back as (y/n) went into the bathroom to get change

Not long after, she came out with a gorgeous white shirt and black vest with a flowy black skirt to match my black and white attire along with black boots and a small white and gold handbag. I held (y/n)’s free hand which she linked our fingers together and I let her do a little twirl as the photographer photographed our little moment together.

We took several more photos and then I took a commercial video for Ferragamo and afterwards we both thank all the staff for helping us get ready as we both headed out for dinner with Ferragamo.

Because I was the only one invited, I brought (y/n) as my plus one whereas the other members were on a lookout for the fraud group. Linking our hands together, we were on our way to the restaurant that Ferragamo had booked.

Arriving at the restaurant, I mentioned my name and the staff immediately directed us towards a more secluded yet decorative area. I felt (y/n)’s hand held mine a bit tighter which I know is because of her nervousness and social anxiety. Before going in, I took her hand and kissed her forearm, calming her down. “I’m here, dove. I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you knowing that you’re willing to come with me. Or, if you’re really nervous, we can ditch this fancy dinner and just grab some McDonalds?” I suggested but (y/n) just chuckled

“I’m okay. A. bit nervous but am alright now. The brand might be pissed if they know their global brand ambassador is out eating McDonalds instead of this dinner that was dedicated towards him” (y/n) reminded me, making me smile

Inside the room, I was immediately greeted by the Ferragamo staff and creative director of Ferragamo. Along with the basic greetings, I introduced (y/n) to them who all complimented about her beauty, making me smile with pride.

The both of us were then directed to the center of the long table right beside the creative director of Ferragamo and right as we were seated, the door opened to someone who I did not expect to see at all. Brad from that fraud group.

That fake smile of his as he introduced himself to everyone made my blood boil, my whole body tensed up that (y/n) had to calm me by rubbing my hand in her small ones. I know something was off because I don’t remember seeing Brad at any other events of Ferragamo that I have been to before.

“Jen, you alright? You look like you might kill someone” (y/n) asked as she placed her hand on mine

“I’m okay, dove” I reassured her, looking at her worried face. “Can you do me a favour?” I asked and she nodded. “I know it might be confusing but whatever happens, don’t interact with him. Don’t talk to him, don’t get close to him” I mentioned, looking over at Brad while (y/n) followed my gaze

“Please. Just this one time. Don’t question me, alright? That’s all I ask you just this one time” I mentioned and (y/n) just looked at me softly. “I won’t. I trust you. If you’re already using this tone and saying no then I know that you mean well. I won’t interact with him” (y/n) replied, making me sigh in relief and kissed her temple

Throughout dinner, I kept on eyeing Brad who sat further down the table but he just looked at me with this creepy smile that I wanted to punch so badly but I had to remember my mission especially since the Italian mafia were also here which I had to find because Taeyong-hyung only gave me some descriptions of the man and not an actual clear image of him.

Skimming through the room as we ate, I think I finally found the man that I was looking for. But because I was unsure of leaving (y/n) alone I waited for her but it seemed that she noticed about my eagerness to go somewhere.

“Jen, I’m not going to go anywhere. I don’t know anyone except for you. If you want to go see someone which I think you do, just go. I’ll be here, okay? Or even if I do go, I’d probably go to the bathroom” (y/n) mentioned, stopping her eating session

“Are you sure? I’m completely alright with waiting for you, dove” I replied but she shook her head. “I’m fine. Go, jen. Before you miss them” (y/n) ushered me which made me smile and kiss her head. “I’ll be right back, okay? Enjoy your dinner. I’ll have someone send over some dessert for you, alright?” I replied, kissing her head again and left to see if my intuition was correct about the Italian mafia.

Going up towards a tall older Korean male who was also wearing a custom Ferragamo suit but with a custom embroidery of the Italian mafia family by the cuffs. “Mr Cassano?” I asked as the man in the suit turned around and I finally noticed some of the other “guests” looking at us

“And you are?” the man asked, surprisingly in Korean

“Jeno. Lee Jeno. You are Mr. Cassano of the Cassano family, right?” I half-whispered so that not everyone can hear me

“Your leader told me that you were a smart and keen person. Looks like you are smarter than you look because I actually expected someone older but you have my respect” Mr Cassano replied, extending his hand and I took it to shake

The two of us then continued our conversation while I would look at (y/n) every now and then who was talking with the creative director. As our conversation got more serious, Mr. Cassano instructed me to follow him somewhere more private but I took a look at (y/n) who was still sitting so I decided to text her.

Me: “I’m going to talk with someone for a bit, are you still alright dove?”

(y/n): “Yeap, am alright. Just had a little sip of rose. I don’t like it though. I’m going to go to the toilet for a bit”

Me: “Alright, let me know if you need anything. And yea, looks like you still don’t like alcohol. I’ll have someone bring you some orange juice instead”

(y/n): “Thank you, Nono. I’ll be okay. I’ll be right back. If I’m not back in 5 minutes then I might be puking the alcohol out”

Me: “Don’t make me worry, Dove. I’ll come back and find you in 5 minutes”

Mr Cassano and I then went to a more private area of the restaurant to talk a bit more and just as I was about to mention Brad being here, there was a sudden power fuse making everyone in a panic state that I excused myself from Mr Cassano to check up on (y/n) in the bathroom yet I could sense someone coming to attack both me and Mr Cassano.

Grunting, I turned back and helped take down the mediocre group that was probably from Brad’s group yet didn’t kill them and even prevent any of Mr Cassano’s men from killing them.

“Why don’t you put them out permanently?” Mr Cassano questions as his men gathered the group

“Because my leader wants them alive and I very much would like to be present when they’re being questioned and perhaps even tortured for being a fraud and using our group’s name for their personal pleasure” I mentioned as Mr Cassano nodded in understanding

“Thank you for helping me. If you need any help, contact me” Mr Cassano mentioned, handing me his phone number

“If it’s alright, please send them over to South Korea to my leader first. I’ll deal with the ring leader” I asked and Mr Cassano nodded. “Done. Go find your girlfriend, kid” Mr Cassano mentioned and I bowed back out of respect before rushing to the bathroom to find (y/n).

Before going into the bathroom, I contacted my members to standby, help with the power fuse and guide everyone out of the restaurant.

“Jen, we’re already on our way and Renjun is working on the power fuse, what’s the situation?” Jaemin asked

“I took down some of Brad’s minions but I don’t see him or the 2 others that were with him during the race. I’m going to the bathroom to look for (y/n)” I replied

“Jen, wait for us, we’re almost there” Haechan exclaimed but I couldn’t care because I need to make sure that (y/n) was alright

Barging into the bathroom, I prepared my gun just in case anyone tried anything and at the slightest sound, I immediately pointed my gun towards it until I heard a shuffling sound. “(y/n)? Dove? Talk to me, love” I called out but there was no sound from her which made me grow worry

As I was about to check each of the stalls, I noticed a shadow from the mirror and instantly turned to fight against whoever it was that tried to sneak up on me. Noticing that the man held a syringe, I grabbed his wrists and made sure that he dropped the syringe before I kicked his legs from behind and pointed a gun towards his temple.

“Where is she?! Where did Brad go? Tell me or I’ll take my time to torture you” I growled but when the man didn’t say anything, I shot his kneecaps just enough so that he would feel the pain

“Talk. Now. While I still have the patience with you” I demanded

“H-he drugged her. He’s, he’s taking her back to his hotel. W-we were supposed to drug you as well because he was salty that you won” the man finally talked and I hit him towards the wall to knock him out right as Haechan came in

“Jen…woaaaaa, d-did you?” Haechan asked. “No. Taeyong would punish me if I killed anyone tonight. He said that Brad took (y/n) to his hotel” I growled, putting my gun back in my pocket, making my way out to see that everyone had already left the restaurant

“Renjun…” I mentioned. “Heard you the first time you confronted him. Yangyang, Jaemin and Shotaro are on their way along with Jungwoo-hyung” Renjun replied

“Send me the address, my job isn’t done until I get Brad so I’m technically going to kill two birds with one stone. Well, without the killing at least” I mentioned and Renjun sent me the address

“You sure it’s a good idea? It could be an ambush” Haechan replied and I checked my phone for (y/n)’s location because her necklace had a tracker on it

“I’m getting my girlfriend and putting that no good of a fraud down. They’re still on their way. Which means I can catch up to them” I stated, taking off my coat as both me and Haechan head towards the back alley where Renjun is

“We’ll tail you from behind. Doyoung and Jaehyun-hyung are handling the Italian mafia to ensure everyone is out of the restaurant and create some sort of story about this incident. Taeyong-hyung also mentioned that the Italian mafia already has someone on their way to clean up the mess” Renjun stated as I changed into the nct mission gear

“I’ll be after Brad since Jaemin and the others are waiting at the hotel, I’m sure that Brad would take a detour and I don’t intend to lose my girlfriend or him” I stated as I put on my helmet and took some things before leaving the van and headed to one of our rented cars

Turning on the maps with the tracker, I placed my phone right on the stand and raced to where (y/n)’s tracker said it was. “Hang on, dove. I’m coming” I muttered, putting in the gears and racing off

It didn’t take me long to get to where the tracker said it was because of the quiet street at night and because the police gave permission to let me pass due to my car’s plate number. I knew that Brad would be taking a detour because Jaemin mentioned that he and the others took care of the rest of his little minions. Stopping right in front of their moving car, they finally took a sharp turn to stop.

Getting out of my car, I shot every single one of the wheels to make sure that they couldn’t escape through their car before I could get through their door, the back door opened and it was Brad along with 2 of his friends who were holding an unconscious (y/n).

Seeing her unconscious figure made my blood boil so I pointed my gun towards Brad. “Let her go or I’ll shoot you myself” I mentioned

“Jeno, jeno, are you sure about that?” Brad chuckled, snapping his fingers and one of his men held a pocket knife right by (y/n)’s throat making my whole body tense but I analysed this situation multiple times before that I knew that I just needed to hold out long enough until my team came

“You’re a fucking coward you know that? Using an innocent girl to get to me? Man up and fight me without using a hostage. But that’s right, you can’t even man up and try to win the race on your own. You had to sabotage the other racers with illegal weapons that you got through abusing the NCT name which you clearly are not in” I ranted, not lowering my weapon one bit even when Brad had a tantrum

“Oh, so you think you’re part of that group? Look at you! Telling people that they can’t do shit but where the hell did you get those weapons and that car anyways? Maybe you’re also using the NCT name like me. Perhaps we are alike than you think” Brad scoffed, coming closer. “I mean, you and I have the same taste in women anyway. Sad that your girl is asleep, it would be more interesting when she’s awake, don’t you agree?” Brad tormented and I gave in because the next second, I punched that smirk off his face with my gun, beginning a long fistfight between the two of us.

Unlike Brad, I had proper combat training so I managed to dodge all of his attacks and landed quite a hard blow on his weak spots; his stomach, the back of his knee, his ankles and his chest (right below his lungs). It wasn’t long until his 2 minions abandoned (y/n) and came to help their little leader which didn’t turn out great for them either.

If Brad was the so-called leader of his group, then his minions were nothing to me. I was clearly on the winning streak with the amount of blows I managed to land on all three of them but when (y/n) slowly regained her consciousness is when I started to get a bit distracted; especially when she called out my name in a weak tone.

“Jeno…” I heard (y/n) uttered which made me stop and rushed towards her half-unconscious figure

“Dove?? Are you okay? What happened? Never mind that, let’s get you out of here, hmm?” I cooed, slowly trying to lift (y/n) and failed to notice a sneaky ambush behind me until I felt a sharp pain on my neck did I turned and elbowed one of Brad’s minions

“Jen….” (y/n) muttered, probably out of worry because she saw me holding onto my neck and taking out the syringe

“Just a minute, dove. I’m okay” I managed to utter, standing back up and actually knocking all three of them unconscious before whatever drug was injected into me actually took effect

Thankfully, my team arrived just in time right as I started to feel hot and my mind was a bit foggy with the only thought being getting (y/n) and leaving this place immediately.

“Jeno!!!” I heard Jungwoo-hyung exclaimed and helped support me

“(y/n), get her out of here and to our room” I uttered and Jungwoo-hyung asked Shotaro to help (y/n) as Yangyang made sure that the backup men get Brad and his minions into the car to be detained first.

After what felt to be the longest night I’ve ever had, we finally reached back to our hotel and I took (y/n) from Shotaro and brought her to our room as Jungwoo-hyung told me to rest as he get the sample of both mine and (y/n)’s blood from Renjun to find out what drug was in our system.

⚠️Trigger Warning! Skip if you're uncomfortable

Once I closed the door to our room, I laid (y/n) down on the bed as she was still practically unconscious while I felt that my body got hotter with every second passing, especially when I saw (y/n). All I could practically think was how I wanted to kiss her so badly and how I wanted to make the both of us feel better. But most importantly, how I wanted to rip all of our clothing and take her then and there which sounded more animalistic than my usual composed self.

Trying to snap myself out of this thought, I tried to go to the bathroom and shower to cool down but instead, it only made me feel even hotter than I already was. Grunting, I put my clothes on and hoped to just sleep off whatever this drug made me feel.

But as soon as I went over to the bed, all I could think was ruining (y/n). My mind and actions contradict each other and in the end, lust won over me and before I knew it, I was already hovering on top of (y/n) right as she slowly regained consciousness.

“J-jen?!” (y/n) exclaimed, her tone was scared which I didn’t like but my body took control over me and one of my hands took her hands, pinning them above her head as my other hand slowly pulled her vest off of her

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me” I cried, trying to close my eyes but my whole body betrayed me right when I took off her vest and slowly unbuttoned her shirt while my lips made their way to her jawline down to her neck and on her collarbone as I heard (y/n) whimpered underneath me, making my shaft harder than it already is.

“Jennn….s-stoppp, please” (y/n) started to cry but for some reason it turned me on even more and right as I nearly unbuttoned her shirt, the door to our room was unlocked and I was pulled away by a strong grip around my neck

“Jeno, sorry about this” I heard Jaehyun-hyung mention and I saw Jaemin wrapping (y/n) with a blanket around her to cover her up before I passed out

❗️End of trigger warning

The next time I was awake, I was in a different room and was practically chained to the bed as I remembered the incident of the previous day, immediately trashing around, trying to figure out where the hell I was until I heard a familiar voice.

“Are you back to your normal self or are you horny like an animal going into heat?” Jaehyun-hyung asked and I grunted, hitting my head back on the pillow

“I’m okay, physically now. But I’m not mentally or emotionally okay until I see (y/n)” I grunted

“Not until I know that you’re actually not in the wrong state because you have to know that you hurt her and I don’t think that you want to hurt her anymore” Jaehyun-hyung stated

“How long was I out? Did Renjun manage to get me medicine or an antidote?” I asked, mentally cursing myself for hurting (y/n) in one of the worst ways possible

“You’ve been out for almost 12 hours, had to give you anesthesia ****to make sure that you wouldn’t wake up until Renjun had the proper medicine. Don’t worry about the fraud group, we already have them all. We’ll also be leaving back to South Korea tomorrow. Also, we’ve already injected you with the antidote. I was asking just to make sure that there isn’t any leftover effect” Jaehyun-hyung stated, opening all of the chains

“Where is she? Who’s with her? She’s not alone, right?!” I asked, eager to get out and find (y/n) to apologise for what I did

“Go shower first and regain your composure. You’re going to need it” Jaehyun-hyung suggested, handing me some clothing to shower

After showering and changing everything, Jaehyun-hyung finally allowed me to go back to my room and to see (y/n) which he said that the 00 liners are with her whereas Doyoung and Jungwoo-hyung were dealing with sending the fraud group back to South Korea.

“I’m not the best at giving advices like Taeyong does and I don’t want to come off as the cold senior but do know that we all would always look out for each other and help each other whenever the other messes up. But know that it wasn’t your fault. Yes, you hurt her but you didn’t really have a choice. Your drug made you wild and animalistic. You had no control over the lust that was controlling your body. (y/n) knows it too and I doubt she’d blame you for what happened. Don’t hurt yourself over what already happened. That’s all I can advise” Jaehyun-hyung rambled, opening the door to our room as the others looked at me and bid their farewell to (y/n) who was sitting on the bed

“She’s not angry. She’s just overwhelmed” Jaemin whispered, patting my shoulder as everyone left me with (y/n)

I slowly walked towards (y/n) who was calling out to me but I kept my head hung low because I felt that I didn’t deserve to see her after what I had done. Instead, my legs gave up and I was kneeling in front of her feet by the bed which confused her but I didn’t let her say anything until I let out everything that I was feeling.

“I’m sorry, dove. I’m so fucking sorry. I ruined everything. I hurt you. I did something without your consent. I traumatised you in every way possible. I got you into a mess and instead of being the knight and shining armour, I was worse than the villain. You might forgive me or not it’s fine because I would never forgive myself for what I did. Getting you into the mess was one thing. Getting you drugged, kidnapped and nearly raped you is something that will forever haunt me and I don’t deserve to face you after what I did” I cried out, my bangs covering my blurry sight from her

“Jen….please look at me. I, I’m not angry, Jen. I, I was scared if anything. Not scared of what you might do to me but scared of what happened to the Jeno that I’ve known and fallen for. I was scared that my Jeno would be gone. I’m scared that my Jeno would just leave instead of fighting because I know that you didn’t mean what happened. You didn’t go too far, Jen. I know you were resisting. Please, just don’t leave me. I don’t want my Nono to leave” (y/n) cried out, her hands cupped my face as I felt my body tense

Not being able to look away from her for too long, I eventually looked up to see (y/n) who was crying as well. Her wrists were still red from what I did along with her neck that I accidentally marked. Slowly, I stood back up and cupped her face in mine.

“How, how can you want me back after what I did? Whether I was under the drug influence or not, I still hurt you. I nearly did something so animalistic without your consent. I’ve tainted you and I’m giving you a chance to leave me to find someone better. I failed to protect you” I uttered, my hands were shaking

“No one could ever replace you, Jen. You resisted, I know you did” (y/n) replied. “I tried to resist but clearly I failed. What if my friend didn’t come and pulled me back? What if I went too far? Would you still want me?” I asked, my eyes were on her mark as if it was a mockery towards what kind of person I became

“It wasn’t you. You’re not to blame, Jeno. You still protected me, remember? You promised that if you weren’t there to protect me, you would send someone you know and trust to do so, even if it is against you. Even when you couldn’t, you still did, Jeno. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see how much I trust and love you? If I leave you, you won’t be okay and neither will I knowing that you keep beating yourself up. You’ve taken care of me, let me return the favour” (y/n) rambled, standing up and bringing me closer to her

“If I ever, somewhere down the line, ever hurt you like this again. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Whether I’m conscious or under influence. Kill me. I’d rather die in your arms knowing that at least the woman I love is finally free of me and I would never love anyone else even in my next life than live my life knowing that I’m the sole reason for all those bad memories and scars. Promise me you’d do that and continue to live your life” I half-whispered, shakily holding her hands that were on my face

“It won’t ever come to that. I know that you will always have a backup plan. And I doubt your friends/members would allow you to go that far after today. Now can we please enjoy our last day while we can?” (y/n) half-joked, making both of us chuckle and I nodded, allowing her to take the lead and kiss me this time. A kiss to our new year as a couple and a reminder to remember and learn of our past to live our life in the present and better ourselves for the future.

Seoul, South Korea - 1:27 am

The sound of loud heavy boots echoed throughout the hallway up until the room where NCT would keep those who have wronged them and many other innocent people. A room that is meant for those to remember of their past, atone for themselves in the present and perhaps get another chance for the future.

“I swear, they’re just pretending to be asleep at this point. It’s been 16 hours since they landed and I know for a fact that Jeno didn’t kill them” Haechan grunted. “I mean look, they’re breathing completely fine”

“We can’t act rashly, remember that time Zennie noona was captured by a mole and opposing gang? Taeyong-hyung was ready to kill anyone if he didn’t get the chance to be satisfied first” Hendery reminded the younger one

“Plus, wouldn’t Jeno would want to do it himself even if they’re not awake yet?” Yuta questioned

“Well, we’re only going to be splashing some ice-cold water on their face or maybe just nail their hands onto the chair. We’re not actually going to kill them. Just to make sure they’re awake for what’s actually coming” Haechan suggested

“Then do it, Haechan” Taeyong stated, the sound of his boots along with Mark, Kun, Ten, Johnny and Chenle’s followed right behind him

“H-hyung…I, I was just joking about the nailing part” Haechan chuckled dryly as his leader walked towards the entire group of frauds

“Well, I’m not. Wake them up by whatever means necessary. Just avoid any of their vital parts. Safe that for Jeno” Taeyong instructed, slowly backing away to allow the playful member to do what he does best

“Welp, you heard the leader” Haechan shrugged, slightly grazing the nail over Brad’s arm which made the tied man scream

“WAITTT!! STOPPP!! WE’RE AWAKE. WE’RE AWAKE” Brad screamed but his voice only echoed within the room

“Ahh, looks like the clown is finally awake now” Haechan chuckled, a sinister smirk forming on his face as Brad and his members nervously took in at the situation they were in

“W-WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS? RIGHT?! WE DIDN’T ACTUALLY HURT ANYONE. ISN’T IT ILLEGAL TO HURT SOMEONE WHO ISN’T FULLY GUILTY?” Brad tried to reason as Taeyong sat on his chair in front of all the weapons laid out and his members were surrounding Brand and his members

“Illegal? You really want to talk about what’s legal and not? With me?” Taeyong scoffed

“I, I mean, isn’t, isn’t NCT as a whole basically illegal? My parents wouldn’t sit tight knowing their son, the only heir to their company is gone missing” Brad rambled as all the NCT members laughed and giggled but stopped at Taeyong’s hand command

“Ahh, your parents. Right. Your dad is also a fraud who fakes his business by killing his rival whereas your mom, is another fraud who sells fake luxury items to people while she gets to live the luxury? Don’t worry, mommy and daddy will reunite with you soon. Since clearly the entire family seems to be rotten to the core” Taeyong stated, making Brad quiver in fear

“Not technically guilty, huh? You misused our name just because no one knows who the actual members are except for me, Mark of DREAM and Kun of WayV. Not only did you misuse our name for your personal pleasure, you tried to cheat at an international grand prix, you sabotaged other racer’s cars, nearly made one of my core members get into an accident which you became salty when he won and proceeded to drug his girlfriend and himself yet you still want to talk about not being actually guilty? To my face?!” Taeyong growled, pushing himself off his seat and made his way in front of Brad

“I-it was a mistake. I know that now. Taeyong. I mean Sir? Please don’t kill me” Brad begged

“Does living really mean something to you?” Taeyong questioned, raising his eyebrow

“Y-yes. I promise I will atone for what I did. I’ll go to jail and reflect on what I’ve done” Brad pleaded

“What are you pleading for?” Taeyong asked again, this time he went behind Brad and patted his shoulders. “I’m not going to let you die. I’m not that heartless to let you and your little gang here die” Taeyong chuckled as Brad and his members also chuckled. “But I didn’t say anything about letting him have his way with you” Taeyong added right as the door opened and Jeno, Jaemin and Yangyang came into the scene making Brad and his members whimper in fear

“Killing you is far too easy and frankly, I don’t have the mercy to do that. You’ll all pay for what you did. To my members, to my group’s name, to me, to my girlfriend. And especially what you made me do to her. I’ll make you regret what you did. How about we start by drugging you with the same thing you drug me and not letting you cum in anyway possible while I take my sweet time in making sure you remember about your sins here” Jeno growled, putting on his glove

A/N: well, this took a lot out of me :)) 11k words. My longest fanfic so far but I hope that everyone enjoyed reading it T^T I've missed writing these kind of fics because I become so into and invested into the storytelling but I hope that it was just as enjoyable as I wrote it. Stay safe and healthy and hopefully I'll be back for another fic (preferably a Jaemin one cause man is getting buffed to quick) xoxo Vinet

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willowser · 6 months

Text

you had only to look at me—

part one.

bakugou x f!reader

wc: 7.4k+

tags: nsfw (18+), childhood best friend bakugou, oral (f!receiving), m!masturbation, lots of "first time" talk, more angst, more virgin bakugou.

even before i was touched, i belonged to you; you had only to look at me. — the burning heart, louise glück.

this is a repost.

you and bakugou avoid each other just like you did in middle school, only it's a little too easy this time around.

he's terrible at texting back in general, and because you're not initiating any conversations on your own — or sending funny memes or bringing up all might in some capacity — the radio silence draws ever on and on.

the closest you come to interacting with him is getting a snapchat from his mom, his figure in the background at their kitchen table. all you can see is the floof of his hair and the outline of his shoulders, but you're so bothered by the fact that he's home and didn't tell you that you don't even respond.

it officiates things in a bad way; he's really, actually not speaking to you.

and it's — fucking annoying.

at least in the past the distance was mutually and wordlessly agreed upon; you didn't talk because you were busy or didn't have time or anything new to say, but whenever he's come home — because he so rarely does — bakugou has always made his usual, god-honest attempt to irritate you.

and he still is, but this time he's doing it all wrong.

you go through the five stages of grief rather quickly, jumping from denial to anger overnight. several times, you type out something to text him, each message different than the last:

i know you were at your mom's jackass ☠️

it's really not a big deal and i think we should just forget about it, if that's what you wanna do ?

if i crossed some kind of boundary with you then i'm sorry and i won't say that again so you better call me before i put your baby pictures on the internet. i'm serious.

you're my best friend and i don't think it's weird that it happened. if you're being dumb because you're embarrassed, then don't be because i thought it was really hot

unsurprisingly, you don't send any of these and instead just stew in your own aggravation. lunch with him after the whole thing had been just as empty and awkward, and you think he chose the place near your apartment just so you could walk home and he didn't have to spend another second with you.

three months go by, which isn't long compared to other stints you've spent not talking to one another, but this one drags. like a lot. the only good that comes from it is that you graduate from anger to acceptance, finalizing a future without him in it.

except for the few times he invades your brain like a little parasite, red-faced and shuddering, gripping you like a lifeline, and then your stomach flips so hard that you feel sick and it takes genuine effort to check out of that daydream and back into a bakugou-less reality.

and then he shows up at your apartment, uninvited.

his mom hosts a sunday dinner that you don't go to, for several potential reasons. one would be that you'll have to see bakugou and pretend like nothing's happened even though you're still a little peeved; two is that you'll both ignore each other, and that'll reverse all your progress because he's been ignoring you already.

three is that he might not show up, and then you'll have to pretend that it doesn't bother you all night long.

none of that sounds better than watching trash television and falling asleep on your couch, so you tell mitsuki that you're very sick and very sorry, and that you'll make it up to her later.

because of this, the first thing bakugou says to you after you swing the front door open is, "you're supposed to be fuckin' dead."

suffice to say, you're surprised to see him; still outfitted in his hero costume, mask shoved up his forehead so that his hair is wilder than usual. there's kohl smudged around his eyes, messy, and they look brighter and harsher because of it.

there's also a family-mart plastic bag in his right hand.

"what?"

he just grunts, eyes snapping over your figure, dressed down in a too-large sweater and athletic shorts meant for running even though you've never done so in them.

in his hands — still gloved — the plastic crinkles obnoxiously as he holds it out. "old hag told me to bring this to you."

a can of low sodium soup, two apples, gatorade, and something over-the-counter for nausea. there's something else at the very bottom that you don't get the chance to inspect before he interrupts with his big, fat mouth.

"y'look fine to me, so why the hell didn't you go?"

you frown at him and — don't know what to say. clearly, it seems he's going the pretend-it-never-happened route, which is infuriating because he could just as well have done that months ago. even still, he won't hardly meet your gaze, staring for only a moment before rolling his eyes and huffing, sticking them anywhere else. if you peek close, real close, you'd say his ears are a little red, but maybe you're just looking for — something.

you shrug. "didn't feel like it."

he shakes his head like that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard, eyebrow arched. "why the hell not?"

"because, bakugou, i just didn't feel like going, i don't know what else to tell you." you huff, shrugging again when he doesn't say anything. "thanks for the stuff. is that it?"

his lips twist as he thinks, giving you another once-over before sighing. under his tank-top, you watch how his chest expands, the grimace that ripples over his face as he reaches a hand to lightly feel at his right side. "need your help with somethin'."

now you're just being petulant; you snort, raising your eyebrows as his eyes narrow at the sound. "me? are you joking? you need my help with—"

he groans loud enough to drown you out. "y'gonna let me in or y'just gonna run your mouth?" and so you step aside to wave him in wordlessly.

the backpack on his shoulder dumps to the ground by the door and he strolls into the kitchen like he owns the place, despite the fact that he's never been here before. you've lived in the unit for a year, but meetups are so infrequent and showing it off to him was never considered — until now; watching him shuffle through the bag on the counter, your nerves spike at the reality check.

alone together, again. in your apartment. well after dark.

that image of him is so — invasive, sweeping in at the worst times: between your legs, face as red as his eyes, the little moan he kept trying to swallow. how embarrassed he seemed when you asked if he felt good, if you felt good, and the fact that he still admitted it despite everything.

your entire body blazes like a flame to gasoline, and you try to focus on what else he's taking out of the bag, oblivious.

does he think about it at all? the way you have? at the root of the situation, that's what has been most bothersome: is he grossed out? simply embarrassed? does he feel taken advantage of? did he enjoy it and just doesn't know how to say it? the not knowing is driving you insane.

"i got—" bakugou awkwardly angles his body, gently touching at his side again. in his hands is a simple pack of first-aid supplies, like a wound wash and bandages and medical tape. "need you to change this shit for me."

"oh?" is all you can manage to say, still distracted, and whatever is obvious in your voice has his eyes snapping to you from across the kitchen, adam's apple bobbing. you clear your throat, struggling for normalcy. "the hell did you do?"

he's — going to take his shirt off. clearly, by the way he stretches out his shoulders and then slowly reaches behind himself to grab the material by the back, carefully pulling it up over his head with a low, stinging hiss.

bakugou's always been a lean kid — guy — but pulled so taut like that, after years of working out muscles you didn't even know he had, he looks — stupidly shredded, and the slow reveal of his tight stomach is not helping you to focus.

you just never realized how hot it was, because you never looked at him like that. until recently.

his mask comes off with his shirt and he tosses both onto the kitchen counter — again, as if he pays the bills here — and his hair is a mess and he usually doesn't care, but he runs a hand through it several times before finally looking back at you, eyes outlined in black.

"y'gonna help me or...?" he shrugs, trying to appear impassive — but it's too obvious; something's shifted, for the both of you.

you don't trust your voice anymore, so you just shuffle over to him, frowning at the dirty, worn bandage that's already unsticking from his skin. with his teeth, he pulls off his gloves and it's a wonder why he even wears them, really, because his hands are filthy underneath, covered in soot and black-stained grease.

standing like he is, arm slightly raised, you can see all his sweat, muscles shifting under his skin as he breathes, and his hairy armpit is staring you in the face and you don't know when he stopped being 12 and started being 20 and when he became such a man. it's not fair, that he should suddenly be so — attractive.

"you're disgusting," you tell him — and mean it — and it's met with such hot and irritated surprise that you have to keep talking before he explodes. "you should probably take a shower before putting on a new bandage."

it's road-rash up his right side, still shiny and wet and blood red. still raw. just looking at it is enough to make you cringe.

bakugou huffs, exasperated. "okay, gimme a towel then."

"i didn't mean take a shower here!" you squawk, taking a step back as if to further yourself from the suggestion.

detonation imminent; bakugou curls his hands into fists and the same muffled warning you've been getting your whole life crackles. "okay," he says, voice thin and razor sharp. "you're coming back to mine then?"

your whole life flashes before your eyes — or at least the few minutes it took for him to lose his shit between your legs. "what? no, why would i?"

"i need your help with this, dip-shit!"

"you're saying there's no one else that can—"

"if you want me to fuck off, just say so!"

things go silent, startlingly so. totally still, except for the rising flush across his face, one that you used to read as annoyance but are now translating into something else you never could have expected from him: embarrassment. it's starting to give you whiplash, how much you're discovering despite knowing him all your life.

"closet is at the end of hall," you say in surrender. "bathroom will be on your left."

bakugou mutters a quiet, angry little "jesus" before stalking back to the front door to get his bag, and then he's disappearing into the dark of your apartment.

you slump down on your couch and — struggle. watching the tv and absorbing nothing; it's a rerun anyway. the sudden, overwhelming urge to cry washes over you as the shower spray sounds in the background, followed by a low-timbered swear and the clatter of several bottles against the tub.

it's easy to butt heads with bakugou. you don't think there is any other way to interact with him, really, because he's so argumentative and that used to be okay, but now things are — off. you don't know what he's doing, what he wants, why he's here and in your shower when he could be at home or getting patched up at his agency. all the conclusions you can come to are frightening, a little, and they're hard to fathom; is he — does he want more?

is this just because he's a guy that got some action and is looking for a second round, or is this because it's you?

this stupid situation has only added an unnecessary amount of drama to your life, and you think maybe the pretend-it-never-happened route is the smartest path, even if you can't stop thinking about him and the strength coiled in his biceps, in his shoulders, and how tall he's become and — when did he lose most of the baby fat in his face, and when did he get such a sharp jawline?

how much is he working out, to get his body like that? he used to be a skinny, scrappy little thing and now — he can probably lift a truck over his head. must run all the time, though he's always been active, and you've never looked before, but you wonder how nice his ass is.

what he looks like under the shower, soapy and wet.

furiously, you blink out of your daydream, feeling like a foreign body in your own skin; if someone would have told you only a handful of months ago that you'd be having weird, sensual thoughts about your best friend, you would have laughed so hard you'd cried. or puked.

but if anyone else stands in that picture with him, your heart squeezes painfully. traitorously. already, you've shared so many memories with him; the start of elementary school, learning how to swim, giving each other equally bruised faces, staying up all night to study for important exams, tackling middle school graduation side-by-side, him making himself at home in your first apartment, just as you had done in his.

the devil on your shoulder asks: what's a few more firsts?

it seems like the shower stops in record time, but when you hone back in on the tv, the episode has changed and new drama is settling in. distantly, the rattle of the doorknob is more aggressive than it needs to be and when the echo of a swung-open door trails down the hallway, your heart suspends in your throat. never have you had to think this much just to be around him, and it's bothersome.

clean and relaxed, he's — softer; you spare a quick glance at him when he comes to stand beside the couch, distracted by the show on screen, and his hair is damp, starting to stick out again the more it dries. his muscles aren't made of marble anymore; still there and rippling, but he breathes calmly and his skin is baby smooth, tender. you eye his tummy and the line of fine hair running down into the waistband of his sweats, and do your best to ignore the sudden desire to kiss right above his belly-button.

"since when are they talking again?"

just as he looks at you, your gaze shoots back to the screen, eyes narrowing as you try to rapidly remember what's happening in the day-to-day for stay-at-home, pro-hero wives.

"uh," you blink, distracted — and he notices, "what do you mean? they've been hanging out, like, all season."

bakugou watches the tv in silence, occasionally glancing down to the bandage in his hands as he carefully spreads it out, as he dampens the towel with the antiseptic and dabs at his wounds.

"even after she hit on whatshername's husband?"

"yeah, that was a misunderstanding," you frown at him but he doesn't see it. "remember when they went to that dinner party and all hell broke loose because—"

his flat look serves for a rude interruption. "they go to a lot of fuckin' dinner parties."

"i know, but," you scoff, annoyed, "have you even watched this season?"

bakugou scoffs, mocking and over-dramatic, "yeah, as if i've got all day to sit on my ass and watch your stupid girly—"

"you're watching it right now."

"because you've got it on!" he huffs when you sink into the couch, resolutely trying to ignore him. “start it over then, if you’re gonna cry about it.”

you gape up at him, going as far as to pause the show so that maybe he’ll acknowledge you and all your annoyance; he doesn’t. “start it over? this is, like, episode 26!”

“so? got a hot date or what?”

he’s not at all interested in the answer and that’s obvious when he spins around and holds out the bandage expectantly, staring down at the scrape — glowing red and angry, a mirrored wound you can feel scabbing across your own skin; itchy and irritating.

finally he looks at you properly, frowning softly and — you see him then, can feel the tension lining his body as you carefully tape on his bandage. trying to hide how uncomfortable he is, though you he’s never had to do so with you in all of — forever. it’s nauseating, and again you're struck by the image of him, only now it's of the horror that had been on his face afterwards, at what you’d done.

it pushes everything over the edge; quietly, so that your voice doesn’t expose anything, you say, “you haven’t spoken to me in three months.”

silence weighs in the air immediately, heavy, and you watch him try to appear unbothered, shrugging as he stares back at the unmoving tv, jaw tight. “phone works both ways.”

“yeah, but,” your hands drop as he steps away to pull on a loose shirt, and you curl your fists into your own. just as he has. “i’m always the one having to reach out—”

“so why didn’t you?”

“what?” frustrated, you massage your temples, trying to soothe the nuclear headache threatening to incinerate you. “are you seriously trying to—”

“what’s the big deal?” he huffs, slumping down into the far corner of the couch before cringing, swearing as he gently touches at his bandage. “you’ve gone longer than that without talkin’ to me, so…”

the tone of his voice is infuriating, as if this is somehow all your fault — and maybe it is, because you shouldn’t have crossed such a boundary with him, but — he can be such a dick.

“it’s not just me bakugou, you could have just as easily picked up the phone, too!” your teeth grind when he shrugs again, leaning his head against his fist as he looks anywhere else. it almost looks like guilt that's dragging his expression down, but you know better than to assume he could feel such a thing. “you always—”

“jesus, if i always do this—”

“shut up for a second, damn!” and then because you can’t stand the stupid look on his face, you kick him in the thigh for good measure; it garners a warning glare, his teeth bared.

he easily catches you by the ankle when you try to kick him again. "tell me what the big fuckin' deal is."

"the big deal? oh, you mean besides the fact that you totally came in your pants?"

it stuns him for a second, eyes wide and face pale, before he's yanking you across the couch, narrowly avoiding the knee aimed for his gut. "you—fucking—!" a smack lands across the back of his head when he ducks and he plants a heavy hand over your face, forcing you to close your eyes and turn away.

"you're gonna blow my head off!"

"if i wanted you dead, you—" he intercepts the hand you blindly reach up with, crossing it awkwardly over your chest so that you're pinned down like a wild animal. "you would be!"

"kiss my ass, katsuki." you snark, and it does something to him, your use of his first name, because he's still for a moment before sitting back and collecting your wrists correctly, to hold against the couch arm above your head.

"you're such a fucking—" he swoops in so low that his nose almost brushes yours and he grabs the front of your sweater with his free hand, like he's gonna shake you down for some lunch money. "fuck, i could just—" and then he groans long and loud, so annoyed he can't find the words.

"yeah, well—"

"shut up," he lightly knocks his forehead into your cheekbone with another dissatisfied sound, letting out a heavy sigh as he sinks his face down into your neck.

all your muscles tighten on instinct, waiting for the sharp bite that's due any second — but his fingers only uncurl from the material of your sweater, slowly slipping around to tangle into the hair at the nape of your neck. his pull there is a little tight, enough for you to know he's got you, but not so much that you're head is aching; you can't imagine you have a sensitive scalp, anyway, after growing up around him.

you want to say something — which is an annoying realization because now you feel like too much of a talker — but you just focus on the heave of his chest over yours, the breath that moves through him. the minute jostle of his hips as he settles further into the space between your legs, almost comfortable. the slight swell of something unfamiliar against your inner thigh.

bakugou presses his face a little further into you, warm, and the tip of his nose drags along the column of your throat. successfully sedating you, distracted by the feel of his parted lips against your skin.

your body is hot all over, very suddenly; the sweater now feels like a death trap and hopefully you don't smell weird, though it's never been a worry before, not around him, and your adrenaline is rushing and you're kinda tired of acting like you don't know why that is.

fuck pretend-it-never-happened. it's been a long three months.

he's almost entirely pressed against you, but there is a small gap of space that closes when you open your legs a little wider, hitching them around his waist as his breath stutters against your neck.

it's happened so quick, so effortlessly yet again; you give a purposeful roll of your hips upward and are lost in him all over.

only — it's different than it was before because straddling his lap hadn't done much for you, but now the weighted outline of him is right against your center and the pressure that drags across you sends tingles up your spine and has your toes curling in your socks. when you let out a tiny gasp at the stomach-flipping sensation, tension coils in every curve of his body and the grip around your wrists and in your hair only tightens.

you can't help it; you let out a "katsuki" in the same heady tone as you did in his apartment and it has him falling easily into the slow grind you've been unable to stop thinking about. what shifts across his face is obvious, against your throat, like the scrunch of his brow and the slow drop of his mouth. he tries to muffle his breathy "oh" into your skin, but it echoes throughout your entire body, has an ache beginning between your thighs that he's already soothing.

the nip comes then, teeth sinking gently into your neck as you weakly cry out in surprise, but it's only for a moment before his tongue — wet and heavy and wide — is tasting over your jugular, lips closing around your skin as he sucks experimentally. you let out a proper moan then, squirming against his hands and up into him so that the pressure doubles for the both of you.

katsuki finally relinquishes your wrists, carding his hand down your body before coming to squeeze your hip, your thigh, locking your leg tight around his waist. "yeah," he rasps, voice deeper than you've ever heard it as he presses his forehead into yours. "how do you fuckin' like it?"

being bitten, he means, vengefully, but you're spread open beneath him and he's rutting the hard length of himself against you roughly, eagerly, and panting open-mouthed and you tighten up at the aggression in his tone and in his hands and his very being and —

"fuck," you gasp, loud and wanton, "fuck, katsuki—"

and then you are kissing your best friend.

the boy from down the street that always ruined your hair and taught you where to place your thumb if you were gonna throw a punch. that used his empty pen cartridge to blow spitballs at you and mocked you for losing crane games, even though he ended up giving you the stupid stuffed animal anyway. that had to be king of the castle, with his stick-sword and cardboard shield. that demanded you be his queen, weeds he picked for you woven carefully into your hair by his hands.

katsuki kisses like he's shy — another term you've never thought of in relation to him and all his fire and brimstone; it's slow and a little delayed in comparison to what his hips are doing, as if he's in his head too much and is trying to figure how to move his lips and when. tentative and chaste, until you run your tongue along the seam of his mouth and pry him open a little more.

it's making you hungry; that possessiveness from before is creeping back in, eager to have him in ways nobody else has. you arch into him, biting at his lips and sighing into his mouth as goosebumps break out across his skin.

with a slant of his head, he deepens the kiss and you can feel his nostrils flaring, the fingernails scratching against your scalp, the bruises he's probably leaving on your thigh. he lets up only to breathe, panting into your ear when he begins to bite and suck on your skin again; your earlobe and neck and even the cut of your jaw. like maybe he's hungry, too.

you fist a hand into his shirt just to tug it up his body, feeling the strong contract of his stomach when your fingers ghost against him. katsuki gets the hint quickly, rising up to his knees to tear the material off — much more harshly than he did before, which has you eying his crinkled bandage — and you move fast to take advantage of the new space.

it gives him pause when you yank down your shorts, pulling your legs back to slip them off and fling them somewhere across the room. his face goes red again, and his heaving chest, too, and his eyelids flutter as he takes in the sight of your flimsy, damp cotton underwear. you start to pull the sweater up your stomach, but he's watching so intently — so ravenous — that you get shy, without a bra underneath the too-hot fabric.

in any other situation, katsuki would have grabbed onto this moment, your hesitation, and held it over your head to come back and poke at. cataloged this little weak spot for future arguments, but now —

not once has he ever been gentle with you in anything; it's enough of a surprise that that's even a possibility for him, for the two of you, but he presses his body back into yours and kisses you deep, calloused fingers tracing over the new skin exposed to him. he doesn't try to push the sweater up any further, but one hand slips up your back, to splay between your shoulder-blades like it had before, and he's so close and you've never known him to be this — careful. with anything.

"y'r so—" katsuki rolls his hips again and groans, whispering against your lips. "fuckin' soft."

his sweatpants are still on and you don't know why, but when you reach down to help tug them off, he grabs your wrist before they can go too far.

he presses the heat from his cheeks into your own, like he wants to share it. "you done this before?"

"have you?"

he frowns at your non-answer. "i asked first."

you have. three times, technically, though a phantom pain echoes in your stomach at the memories, and you feel an odd emptiness in your chest that makes you really glad to have the sweater still on. your answer leaves you a little ashamed, under his gaze, and you purposely turn from it. "would...that bother you?"

before, you wouldn't have cared, didn't care, nor were you even thinking of him when it happened. wherever he must have been; u.a, probably, getting ready to make his lifelong dreams a reality while you trusted a boy that didn't look at you the way katsuki is now. that didn't hold you and touch you and kiss you the way your best friend has.

he scoffs, though it doesn't sound as careless as it usually does and he squeezes his eyes shut so you can't read them. the truth that's hidden there. "no," he lies, "why would—" but he doesn't finish, just sighs.

"it was awful anyway," you tell him, offering a small smile when he peeks down at you. he doesn't say anything, so you kiss him once, twice, until his tension is melting away. "should have been you."

the grip on your thigh turns almost painful and he grinds into you so roughly that you both gasp, loud in the tight, barely-there space between you. "yeah," he rasps, sucking another bruise into the hollow of your throat. "fuckin' should have."

you try to imagine it; eighteen and nervous, naked in front of him for the first time since you were seven and got into paint from his mom's workshop, when she made you both strip down in the same room, furious. how different he might have been with you then, how much more unsure. kinder than your ex, without a doubt, even for katsuki, and he probably wouldn't have even gone through with the whole thing, considering how uncomfortable the first time is.

or maybe it wouldn't have been, with him; maybe he would have looked into it, taken the time to wind you up the same way he is now so that you were eager and wet and ready. looking down at you with his wide, almost-black eyes in the dim light of a table lamp. another first to share.

"if i'd have just," he huffs, allowing his sweats to slip down past his hips. shoulders trembling when he makes you moan out his name again. "fuckin'—grown a pair 'n told you—"

the weight of him becomes more obvious, the straining bulge he's rocking into your core, and seeing it is — really getting to you; wearing such tight boxers, you can tell just how close the pink tip of him is to his waistband, nearly peeking out from just how hard he is.

it takes a shrug to get him out of your shoulder, so you can press your lips back to his. "can still be you, katsuki," you breathe, biting on his bottom lip until his tiny frown is gone. "if you want, it can still be you."

for a minute, he indulges himself in the greedy kiss you're giving him, testing strokes of his tongue against your own as his hips stutter out of rhythm — but it's when your fingers brush through the hair at the base of his stomach, trying to slip a hand into his boxers, that he's gasping into your mouth and pushing his body up and away.

determination settles over his face then — along with his vibrant flush — and he doesn't say anything as he grabs you like it's nothing and scoots you up the couch so that your back is pressed to the arm, propped up. once he settles between your thighs, he just rests his face into the plush of your stomach — which is humiliating and has you squirming, but the firmness returns to his hands; holding your hips so that you'll still, so that he can kiss right above your belly button, just as you wanted to do to him.

heat flares in your own cheeks — and down your chest and in your ears and searing on the back of your neck — when you feel the first puff of his warm breath against your underwear, where you're sensitive and slick and aching.

this is completely new to you; your ex-boyfriend probably never considered tasting you here, certainly not with the same desire that's painted across katsuki's face. you have to slap your hands over your eyes and bite your lip, embarrassed, suddenly, at how desperate the simple press of his mouth to your underwear makes you.

"hey, hey," katsuki grunts, pinching at your hips until you peek at him through your fingers. the highlights of his cheeks are crimson and his eyes are black, glaring with an intensity that makes you shiver. "it's my fuckin' turn."

to make you fall apart, he means, just as he had.

at the first hot drag of his tongue against the material, you squirm, leaning your head back so that your expression is hidden. another grunt comes from him, you think in dissatisfaction, but he continues, laving until your mouth is falling open and the fabric between you is drenched.

he's gone just long enough to be replaced by the ghost of his thumb, touching you much too-gently. hunger has you stealing another look at him, watching behind your hands as he stares, blatantly, at the mess he's already made of you, stroking the pad of his finger against the sodden material in interest.

discovering; a curious swipe over where you're aching has you sighing and trembling and his eyes jump back up to your covered face, open mouth curling into the faintest smirk as he does it again and again and again. it's bullshit — how quickly he's figured you out, almost as if your body was meant to be unraveled by his hands — but then again, it didn't take you long either, did it?

"katsuki," you hiss, digging a hand into the hair at the crown of his head, tugging on it until his smile is dropping and his eyes are lidding. your body is on fire and your legs are trying to close around his head, hips squirming as he toys with you, like the little brat he is.

deadly serious, he grabs your underwear and holds it tightly in his fist so that you can wiggle one leg free, and then he's tugging it out of his way and devouring you whole.

it's sloppy, the mixture of spit and slick as runs his tongue through you, wet and wide, and you're so sensitive that you squeak out in surprise, fingers tightening. a groan punches from deep in his chest and your hips buck at the vibration of it, drawn so tight already.

"oh my—" you gasp, dropping your other hand from your face to grip the couch; eyes closed, you're somewhere else entirely, lost in the clumsy swirl of pleasure between your thighs.

katsuki raises his head to breathe, reaffirming your grip in his hair by wrapping his fingers tight over your own. at the shiny sight of his mouth, you can't help but to whimper with a needy roll of your hips, until he's simply sticking out his tongue and allowing you to ride it, to use it as you need to. it's embarrassing, how desperate you are, but his eyes are knife-sharp and trained on you and you've never experienced anything like this.

he moves then, slipping one hand further up under your sweater, cupping your breast carefully as his lids flutter — and the other is shoved between his hips and where they're pressed into the couch. you tighten up at just the idea of him rutting into his hand while kissing your messy slit, moaning openly, head falling back as your eyes start to roll.

this is — fuck — you've never been so turned on in all your life and it's driving you crazy; at one point in time, the thought of bakugou like this would have grossed you out, but now you think it's only like this because of him. anyone else wasn't right, not the way he is, and he's maybe a little impatient and unwieldy, but it's katsuki. between your legs with his mouth on you — something he wanted — and his fingers are brushing over your nipple and the other is down his pants, wrist flexing and —

"fuck, oh fuck, i—" you try to sit up, chasing blindly after the high, but he forces you back down. a long groan is muffled by your skin and when he lifts his chin just a little, a glob of spit falls off his lips and the sight makes your toes curl before he presses back into you and sucks.

everything goes blank as you free-fall into him and you cum quietly, muscles so taut in your body that your voice can't even squeeze out of your throat. the minute you're able to breathe, he's biting a mark into your thigh and yanking you back down under him, lips slick against yours.

tasting yourself on his tongue has you coming out of the heady haze, ravenous; katsuki helps you to shove his boxers down, though he can only gasp tightly when he grinds against you, coating himself.

"'m not—" his soft hair tickles your face when he shakes his head, arms trembling beside your head. "i won't be able to—"

"keep going," you breathe, smearing your mess over the tip of him and down his length as he groans. "i don't care, keep going."

he smashes his lips to yours, though he's only able to meet the pump of your hand a few times before dropping his forehead to your shoulder, spine curling, fingers digging into your hair. katsuki swears long and low, eventually letting out a soft sound you wouldn't have expected from him as his entire body tenses and he spills onto your stomach.

"goddamn it," he moans into the fabric of your sweater, weary, after a long moment. "now 'm fuckin' tired."

and for some reason that makes you laugh, though the lust is dissipating and your nerves are trembling at the memory of how this ended last time. katsuki pulls away suddenly, making your stomach drop, and he doesn't look at you as he detangles himself, awkwardly shuffling away from the couch and out of sight.

you frown down at the mess on your stomach, the way it's pooling in your belly-button — and you'll be damned to let him leave you like this, but just as you finishing reciting over and over what you want to say, he appears, towel in hand.

it's still damp from his shower and you tense on instinct, waiting for him to start twirling it with that stupid grin on his face, but katsuki only arranges your legs so that he can sit between them, carefully wiping you off as his cheeks burn. and you just watch him, the way he runs a hand over your skin to make sure he got it all before helping to finagle your underwear back on properly.

then he just looks at the tv, unmoving. if he's trying to appear casual at all, it's a piss-poor job — but he's never been able to keep his fat mouth shut for long.

the look he gives you lacks its usual heat, though you can't tell if that's just because he's drained or if he's withdrawn for another reason. "what now? six months, a year before you talk to me again?"

and you're annoyed all over again.

"what?" you return his weak glare, sitting up properly so that you're right in his face. "are you kidding me? you didn't talk to me either."

"the hell did you want me to say?" he scoffs and — you could slap him, for ruining everything so quickly. wipe that stupid look off his face with your fist. "'sorry i busted a nut, you free for dinner?'"

"yeah!" the shrill tone of your voice makes his eyes widen, and you throw your hands up in the air, incensed. "that sounds wonderful in comparison to coming home and avoiding me."

"i didn't avoid you," he mutters, though his eyes drift back to the tv. "just didn't have shit to say."

"bakugou," you slap your hands over your face for the second time, though this one is much worse than the last. "how is that fucking fair? what did you want me to say?"

and now — his eyes are full and furious, mouth curling down into an ugly frown that you've so rarely had the pleasure of seeing on his face; every time his mother made you go home and when you told him you weren't gonna try to test into u.a. when he overheard your girl friends teasing you for liking an older boy in your school.

when he was losing you, you realize.

"'m not doin' this shit with you," he mutters, definitive, before swiping his shirt up off the floor and standing. "not doin' this bakugou shit."

"oh my god," you groan, rising, too, because your stomach is twisting at the thought of him leaving again, no matter how angry he's making you. "what does that even mean?"

you trail him as he stomps into your kitchen to grab his work shirt and mask from the counter, trying to interrupt him at every turn, and the scowl on his face only grows when you shoot to stand in front of the door, just as he reaches for his bag.

"you can't—"

"this," he seethes, gesturing to you and then himself before gritting his teeth so hard that they should shatter. "this is why i didn't wanna fuckin' talk to you."

you knew he didn't. the minute lunch ended and when you made out his shape in mitsuki's snapchat: you knew. but hearing it from his mouth is as much of a confirmation as it is a kick in the gut.

there's more he's struggling to say, mouth shifting as he chews on the words and the skin of his lips. his gaze jumps from you to the door to something on the counter before he's swallowing again, staring down at you with brand new eyes.

the light in the kitchen makes them shine, angry and sad. "i can't—" he sighs, nostrils flaring like he's mad at himself for struggling. "go back to bakugou, not after—" a vague hand waves toward the couch. "maybe this is just, i don't know, whatever to you, but i — fuckin' can't."

tell me what the big fuckin' deal is; earlier, he'd demanded it of you, why the silence mattered so much this time when it didn't seem to matter before. in the midst of your anger, you didn't think twice about his wording but now —

he wanted you to say it. katsuki wanted to hear you say that it hurt to be without him for so long, and he kept his distance because he was afraid that you wouldn't.

"you're so stupid," you mutter it quietly, and his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, enraged, but before he can get another dumb word out, you loop your arms around his neck and just — kiss him.

not crazy or wild or lust-driven, just your lips to his, slowly working him out of the shell he's tried to hide behind.

the bag in his hand hits the ground with a soft thud and then his arm is wrapping around your back, tugging you to him as he finally breathes and opens his mouth — and lets you in.

when you cup the sides of his neck, katsuki inhales sharply through his nose, pulse jumping under your fingers, and his lashes flutter against your cheeks as he opens his eyes. he pulls back enough so that you can stare at each other and you realize that eyeliner is still clinging to his lids, making him seem sharper than usual.

you're a little stunned, then, at how beautiful he is.

"i can't go back to bakugou either, dumbass." gently, you knock your forehead into his, smiling at the pout on his face. "you've totally screwed that up for me."

"yeah, well," he huffs, "about time. only took you all my goddamn life."

"sorry i'm late."

"what else is new?" he rolls his eyes and you squeak, indignant, before sticking your tongue out at him, patience worn thin already.

you expect a bite or a pinch to the cheek or another rough violence that falls along the lines that have made up your relationship thus far — but instead there is only something soft that reflects in his eyes and the shy kiss he presses to your lips, something that he's kept safe just for you, guarded, with his stick-sword and cardboard shield.

#narrator voice: willow did not have the spoons to extend the ending #whoopsie #okie okie part 2 #✿ willow writes #✿ one shot: bakugou

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