#told Orlando Bloom’s character

[k1dkh1dr]

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#the scene in Kingdom of Heaven always spoke loud to me #Where Salahuddin #at the end #told Orlando Bloom’s character #after being asked #‘what is jerusalem #worth?’ #and salahuddin says #‘nothing…everything’ #then smiles #man what a scene #then salahuddin goes into al-aqsa #(i think) #and makes sujood

[canichangemyblogname]

A man will go on a 10 min rant about how Legolas was his favorite LOTR character and how he was absolutely obsessed (his words) with the movie as a kid and thought Orlando Bloom’s performance was really, really great, and then conclude his thoughts with, “I’m straight, tho.”

#‘Didn’t he have— like— five lines during the entire trilogy?’ #‘Man… I don’t think he even introduced himself to Frodo.’ #‘Frodo doesn’t even know his name and yet *that’s* the character who stood out to you the most?’ #He told me that Orlando Bloom was very inspiring for him as a kid #and I was like: ‘IDK if this is a red flag or a cry for help.’

[chronic-cynic]

"'You're so different,' he says, shaking his head and squinting at me.

'I may have grown a few centimetres since I was eleven.'

'No, it's—' He stops himself.

I put down my phone. 'What? It's what?'

'You're more serious.'

I don't remember not being serious. As far as I'm concerened, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain." (Oseman 73)

This is an analysis of Tori Spring and her unreliability as a narrator. It will be incredibly long, so I hope I do not bore anyone.

Lucas, as we know, had been Tori's best friend throughout elementary school. He had a dream, to chase after his childhood best friend and start a beautiful romance—which was nicely foreshadowed by the line: "'[The Great Gatsby is] about...' He pauses to think. 'It's about someone who's in love with a dream'" (72). However, he realizes that she wasn't the person he thought she was. Or rather, she isn't the person she used to be.

Alongside Lucas, there are two other characters that hint at the fact that Tori was never this pessimistic: Mr. Kent and Becky.

Near the beginning of the novel, Tori mentions how she and Kent know each other quite well because he has been her teacher for over five years. And, throughout the novel, Kent continuously shows his concern for Tori and her attitude towards life. It would make a lot of sense for him to be this concerned if he had actually seen life in Tori to begin with. Along with that, it is very clear that Tori is liked by the teachers, as stated by Becky on page 79. Again, it would make more sense for this to be the case if she was a different person when she was younger.

Finally: Becky. Throughout the novel, Tori feels incredibly jealous towards her best friend, and she feels the gap between them comes from the fact that Becky moved on while she stayed exactly where she was. However, during their argument after the Solitaire party, Becky says, "you've changed. I might have changed too, but you definitely have. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's true" (310). This completely contradicts everything Tori has told the reader.

The scene in which Tori reads her old diary illustrates my point perfectly.

"Up at the crack of 10:30am. Becky et moi went to the cinema today and saw Pirates of the Carribean (is that how you spell it???) 2 and OMG it was SO GOOD. Becky thinks Orlando Bloom is the fittest. Then we went to get pizza in the high street she had Hawaiian but obviously mine was plain cheese. YUM! She's coming round next week for a sleepover too. She says she needs to tell me about a boy that she likes!! And we're going to eat so much food and stay up all night and watch films!!!!!" (274)

It's very clear with the exclamation marks and enthusiasm in her tone that no, she was not born serious. Unlike now, Tori used to be genuinely happy to listen to Becky's relationships with boys. And—my favourite detail—the use of French in the second sentence. The word "moi" was almost always used by tweens as a quirky replacement for "me" (source: me. I used to use that word all of the time because I thought it was cute and silly. Gross). This is my favourite detail because of an earlier scene with Oliver when Tori says, "Are you suggesting that Charlie is better at Mario Kart than moi?" (63). Now, this could just be a coincidence, but I like to think that this is Tori's inner child being revealed to her little brother, especially because she would never speak to anyone else in that way. But, I digress.

So, I have now established how Tori has been unreliable with the way she describes herself, but what else has she been lying about? I think the most obvious answer is her hatred and lack of knowledge about literature.

Unlike everything I explained above, Tori does admit to lying near the end of the book, saying that books scare her because of how personal they feel. However, there are many things that contradicted her prior to this reveal. For example, her grades in her previous English class—as mentioned by Kent—and the way she used to read with Lucas.

After Lucas speaks about the books he is currently reading, Tori tells the reader, "I nod as if I understand. I don't. I don't know a single thing about literature despite studying it for A level" (72). Yet when Michael tests her on famous literary works, she is able to answer every question correctly, once again contradicting everything she has said.

Her unreliability is not deliberate, it comes from lies she tells herself. However, it seems like she knows the truth deep down. But I guess she is justified. After all, it feels better to say you were born serious than to admit to the damage the world has done to you.

#i hope this is worth something to someone #oh god this is quite long #nobody would want to read such an essay #i hope it does not seem like i am grasping at straws this #these are just things that i noticed #i tried to follow mla quotation rules but i know i broke them in many different places #because i am not actually writing an essay #forgive me #tori spring #solitaire alice oseman #becky allen #lucas ryan #michael holden #solitaire analysis #cynic.txt

[morallyinept]

Shoot: Solar Magazine, November 2017, Issue 3

Photographer: Stefan Ruiz

Interviewer: Igor Ramírez-García Peralta

Grooming: Unconfirmed

Full interview, behind the scenes, outtakes & shoot photographs below. 👇🏻

Jett's Pedro's Shoots Masterlist

• Cover shots and original images used in the magazine, including outtakes

• Close ups

• Full interview

Bad Hombre Pedro Pascal

Pedro Pascal belongs to a refreshing type of Hollywood stars, who is well educated while remains unpretentious and free from any level of insufferable diva attitude. He understands very well going against his nature will drift him away from his goals. 

Success came relatively late, at 38, with his breakthrough role by polysexual Oberyn Martell, in the fourth season of 'Game of Thrones.'

Between his overseas filming, photo sessions and visiting his family in Chile, a mutual friend put us in touch. One of the countless voice messages that we exchanged to coordinate the interview, breakfast, photo shoot, dinner and drink contest between Colombia, London and Manhattan he said: “Welcome to … [dramatic pause] Colombia”. 

I arrived at the Narcos set in downtown Bogotá on Thanksgiving Day. His two American colleagues (Eric Lange and Brett Cullen) were desperate with the elasticity of the South American minutes in a day that seemed to have no end, while a DEA agent - a real one - was waiting for them at home with a lot of turkey, whiskey, American football - a good portion of testosterone.

Meanwhile, Lucas - Pedro’s younger brother, who will have a small role in the next installment of the series - and I amused ourselves by breaking the mythical folding chairs with the protagonists’ name of the series. 

Interviewing and photographing Pedro has been a luxury that rarely occurs in journalism. A process of months, but continuous, in different contexts and in stages that has allowed me to know him much more than I can normally know who we put onto our covers. At the whims of fate, in addition to Lucas, I also met his sister, in Miami, and it turns out that Francisco Celhay, the other Chilean actor we include in this issue, is his first cousin.

From what escapes from the talk that we transcribe below, I can add that Pedro does not have any food allergies, but that, since he was 20 years old, he knows that he is allergic to cocaine; that his animal spirit is Tigger, the companion of Winnie the Pooh; that he claims not to be handsome - someone told him that he looked like Orlando Bloom after being slapped in the face - and that, from time to time, he remembers a dog, with a bitten ear, that usually visits the set in Cali, and stands outside his trailer. Pedro: we beg you, adopt it.

Narcos adds salt to wounds that are still very open in Colombia. The history of Escobar and the cartels of Medellín and Cali is very recent. How do you digest this and what has it meant for your role?Did you imagine that you would stay until season three?

Honestly, no. I knew I was going to participate in two seasons, regardless of the success of the first. They had a script for Escobar that lasted two seasons and my role, Agent Peña, was part of both. After the success of the first, I knew that the series was going to continue. After all, the plot was never intended to focus exclusively on Escobar, but also on the history, politics, and reality of drug trafficking.

But what I didn’t know, and I really didn’t expect, was that I was going to be in the third season. Out of the characters around Escobar, I thought he would be the last person to be invited back.

Netflix has changed the way television series are produced, distributed and consumed. What do you think about it?

It’s amazing, the whole industry changed in five years. Okay, actually in one. They started with the success of House of Cards, which was not even the first series - it was another that nobody knows called Lilyhammer. The year that we started Narcos, they are going to do, I think, twelve original productions. Now I have lost count… And I confess that I am a victim of what they do, because I see everything. 

I know it sounds absurd but, compared to what is happening in the politics of the western world right now, where everything is so bleak, disappointing and alarmingly retrograde, television is progressing in terms of themes, culture, representation of diversity and the risks that are assumed with the stories that are narrated.

Do you prefer to work in cinema, television or theater?

For me, the ideal is to work in the three media, as all my colleagues do. I moved to New York when I was 18 to study, and I swear, I almost gave up trying to get roles in off-Broadway productions. My friends were actors who mainly did theater, but also television and cinema, some with more success than others, obviously, but in our community we understood that it was time to do everything. I think television is the most arduous medium because of schedules.

A colleague who worked with Holly Hunter on her first television series, after a very successful career in film and theater, told me that she had said to him, “Television isn’t for pussies”. It is curious that she has affirmed that, after having split her back all her life working as an actress, but it is true. The hours are very intense, the days are endless … In this sense, Narcos is a peculiar challenge, because, in a way, it is invented as we go along. It depends a lot on the locations - and these are unpredictable - but, at the same time, we have a script that must be respected.

To summarize, I would say that I do not prefer a specific medium. Television is the heaviest; Theater is the most familiar experience for me, and cinema supposes, in a certain way, the dismantling of a children’s fantasy, because it is truly the least glamorous experience you can have. At least in what I have had to live. You are in a 150 million dollar production, but sitting in the mud, in an absolute plague and surrounded by flies.

You work a lot in locations: China, Colombia, Croatia … And for very long seasons. What about your private life?

What about my private life? Simple answer: I do not have one. My life is work and tourism. It's strange to have this type of adventure being an adult. As a child I fantasized about working in the cinema and after surviving the inevitable broken heart that comes with maturity, being alive and, above all, wanting to be an actor, it is still ironic and funny to achieve your childhood dream at 40.

You miss your house, your bed, your friends, your comforts and the routine, but it is interesting that all of that is interrupted, and more at this age, because I think I can absorb the experience with much more perspective and maturity.

How was your experience in China filming The Great Wall?

I loved it. I had never set foot in China until I stood there for five months to work with one of my favorite directors [Zhang Yimou], whom I never even imagined crossing paths with. And next to fucking Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe! Matt, frankly, is one of the best people I’ve ever met; not from the best famous people I’ve ever met, but from the best people and that’s it. He was there with his family, with his wife - who is even better than him - and his children. On the other hand, I have seen all the Dafoe films since I was a child, so it was a privilege that they served me him on a silver platter, although, at the same time, very hard work, because it is a complicated film, also shot in multiple locations.

The concept of the previous issue of Solar was “Respect your idols!”, a kind of vote in favor of not losing emotion when meeting them and remembering what they have meant to you; Don’t let the fan die inside of you, regardless of how close your childhood idols can become as you enter the industry. How has this been for you?

It’s funny that you ask, because I’m still a big fan. I think this characterizes me as much as my work. In addition to being an actor, I am a spectator. I associate it with being a Chilean immigrant in the United States, with how young my parents were and how unstable their life was when I was born and how pop-culture, film and cable television socialized us and, in a way, they educated my sister and me. Later it turned out that a fantasy became a hobby that, in turn, became my profession.

Come on, I don't hide being a fan. Kingsman was a particularly interesting experience, because it was a fucking circus with fabulous movie stars: Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Colin Firth, Channing Tatum and Taron Egerton, who, despite being new to the industry, is a fucking love. It’s all a bit overwhelming and scary, but I think the little fan inside me is so dominant that I managed to overcome the fear of working with them.

I have to say that I managed to contain myself, until we finished filming. As soon as they released Halle Berry, I tearfully told her that I had seen Jungle Fever, that it fascinates me, that her character in Monster’s Ball killed me and that I cried when she won the Oscar. I did the same to Julianne Moore and everyone else, until they got fed up.

I know you are a good boy. I feel it, I see it in you, in your family and in how you relate to the people around you. Have you always been like this?

I can’t even imagine what my parents had to go through when they escaped from Chile and that has left me an inheritance of guilt that, perhaps, has determined the way in which my brothers and I navigated the world. We’ve also had very tragic losses in my family, and that helps you focus on what’s really important and how you should treat people. I don’t know what I believe in. I am completely agnostic and the idea of ​​a god seems silly to me. I do not mean that spirituality is alien to me, but I have not developed any link with that concept either, but I do know that the most valuable thing is to be a good person. 

Deep down, I think that’s a lot more important than being famous, powerful or such. I can’t take all that shit to my grave. But I have not always been like this. When I was 12 years old, we were already enjoying a very privileged situation and, compared to others, I was quite a spoiled boy. Then all that was over, and I had to learn the hard way in New York. Maybe if things had continued to be as easy as when I was in high school, I would be a douche now. Maybe the combination of genes, the education my parents gave us, and the fact that I broke my ass for more than fifteen years in New York that shapes you and also teaches you how you should behave.

You spent almost twenty years auditioning. What motivated you to continue, and not to give up?

I didn’t know how to do anything else. There really does come a time, especially when you are a movie and theater nerd, where it becomes part of your identity. In the end, training, practicing and fighting ends up becoming an everyday thing and stop feeling like the big challenge. In fact, changing was what scared me. I think I definitely accepted the possibility of being the typical actor who is always fighting, until the day he could no longer go upstairs to audition, because, as I said, I did not know how to do anything else, and was too lazy to learn. And well, I also had the unfounded hope that I could do it.

And luck, I’m very lucky. As screwed up as the times were, there was always something: a job, a theater play, an experience, a royalty check for an episode of Buffy, vampire slayer - which paid half of the rent - or a play outside of Boston. Every time it seemed like I wasn’t going to make it through the month financially or emotionally, something came up at the last minute that kept me afloat and allowed me to keep going.

Jett's Pedro's Shoots Masterlist

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal magazine #pedro pascal interview #pedro pascal photoshoot #pedro pascal shoots #pedro pascal words

[hypherr]

*(like the audio)* WAIT A DAMN MINUTE?!?! YOU designed Ethari? THE Ethari?!?! THE soft craftsman with the swirly bulky arms and crop top?!?! THE silvergroves hunkiest blacksmith with gold eyes and shaggy hair?!?! If you don’t mind sharing-how much direction we’re you given and what were your thoughts in the design process?

YES I DESIGNED HIM AND I CRIED THE ENTIRE TIME (not really but I was very excited lmao)

Honestly, I had no idea what/who Ethari was meant to be beyond Ru's partner (his asset was actually called "RunaanHusband_CH" when it was assigned to me lmao), and I don't know if even the writers really had an idea yet, so I just kinda design vomited all over the sheet and included a toooooon of designs! Again, all I was told was "RUNAAN'S HUSBAND. GO." so it was v fun to come up with headcanons for who Ethari was exactly.

I included designs for if he were a soldier, if he were a bard, if he were an assassin, just a dude, mage, etc, and they kinda landed on one of the "just a dude" designs LOL (below are a few explorations shared in the art book)

Aesthetically, I wanted Ethari to have a more hooked nose and squarer jawline too, which they were on board with. I also always saw Ethari as either a very charismatic dude, or a very soft and gentle guy since I thought either of those would work well with Ru's no-nonsense attitude, and I'm super happy my thoughts ended up aligning with the writers' and he became a very humble and gentle characater.

ALSO, I never thought as Ethari as "top" or anything, I mostly wanted to contrast against Ru's slimmer assassin figure, softer jawline, etc etc. There was also a shortage of very "chad"-looking elves (many of them were not so "masc" i guess you could say, very Orlando Bloom lmao and i wanted to make Ethari different) I also snuck in the crop top and idk if it's just that no one noticed or if they were 100% on board LOL

The writers made him into a strong, comfy partner that complimented Ru perfectly, and, honestly, Ethari's design would mean nothing if his writing and character did not have such meaning and power behind the concept.

It was incredibly exciting and heartwarming to work on a very very publicly gay character, and I do hope that my contribution to his looks has complimented his pog epic writing, and the incredibly sweet and sincere performance his actor hashed out in the booth.

I AM VERY GLAD PEOPLE LOVE HIM AS MUCH AS I DO! My mans deserves all the love and I think he is a very positive and powerful character, and I'm very glad to be his design parent 😭💕

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 34- Grenade

Summary: Josie tries to get Orlando to open up but he shuts her down. Trouble follows the eldest Bloom brother. A crazy car chase takes place. Luke Jr's witty facade hides a secret. Things escalate between the good doctor and the secret agent man, triggering a brawl. CODE BLUE!!.

*Warnings* DARK! language, angst, weapon mentions, violent depictions, abuse mentions,

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Josie, Orlando, Luke Jr,

Salem, Massachusetts

March 7, 2023

"Are you going to give me the cold shoulder now?" you asked Orlando as he got in your car after five minute silent walk to get there.

He still said nothing as he anxiously kept looking out his window at all the cars leaving your family's pub that closed at 11 pm sharp on a weekday.

"Ok, fine. Be mad at me then for keeping you from spending the night in jail and possibly the rest of your life in prison for premeditated murder. I mean, that's what it was, was it not? Considering you have the word father carved into the wooden handle of this hammer you carried with you in your coat pocket." you said as you studied the small but deadly weapon of high carbon steel that weighed heavily on the end of the handle.

Orlando stared straight ahead as you watched his jaw tighten, forcing himself to not look at you.

"Alright then, if you're going to act like a child, put your seatbelt on." you snipped.

"Why don't you put your seatbelt on?" he quickly snipped right back. "Since you're the one driving after drinking."

"Ok. You're right. And it's raining, so lets just sit here for awhile and talk."

"I don't want to talk."

"You never want to talk Landy. Why won't you let me try and help you?"

"You can't help me."

"And how do you know that when you won't even let me try? Do you not trust me? Is that it?"

"I think we have established that I do since I told you about....him."

"Then let me in. You could start by telling me the truth about what Ethan did to you. It's just you and me here. No cops. No Ethan to intimidate you. Tell me why you didn't put him away? The truth Orlando. I won't be mad and I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Why does this matter now?? Why do you even care?? It's over."

"It's not over and you know it. Ethan is far from done screwing with all of us. In fact, I think he's just getting started and he's not going to stop until he gets what he wants. Stop protecting him."

"I'm not protecting him, I'm protecting you!!" he shouted and turned to look out his window again and then continued in a calm voice. "I don't want to let you in. Just leave me alone alright?"

"So Lee was right. Ethan threatened me didn't he? That's why you did it...lying about what really happened so he would leave me alone and you also did it because...."

You caught your tipsy lips before telling him you knew he was in love with you. As if things weren't complicated enough for him...for Lee, for you, you didn't need to add to it by forcing Orlando to admit that part like you were now going to end up forcing Lee to come clean about his own secrets. Of course, things never went the way you wanted them to.

Orlando's eyes moved to you without even turning his head, knowing why you ceased your words.

"I told you to leave me alone. You seem to know everything, so there's no need for me to validate it."

"God damn it, I'm not your enemy Landy!" you snapped. "Do you really want me to leave you alone?? Because I can. I can take you home right now, drop you off and never speak to you again. Is that what you want???"

"YES! Yes, that's what I want!" he loudly and harshly affirmed as his dusky hues raged at you.

Orlando had never yelled at you before and it had affected you so deeply that you had to turn away to hide the uncontrollable tears.

You both sat once more in silence as Orlando closed his eyes and sighed, cursing himself inwardly as he heard the soft whimpers you were trying to conceal.

His hand began to reach for you as his lips attempted to apologetically speak until a knock on your window sent his hand whipping back and you screaming and diving into Orlando's arms.

"Open the door." Luke Jr. firmly ordered as he stood wet from the rain with blood above his eye, peering in at your frightened faces with a dour expression.

"Jesus Lukey, what the fuck man?" Orlando griped as he reached over and unlocked the door with you still clinging to him.

Now that the vision of him was clear without the rain sprinkled foggy window, you leaned back over into your seat to gaze up at the beautiful man who, for being Orlando's eldest brother, could damn near be his twin.

"Y..your eye...what happened? Are you alright??" you quickly asked.

Luke reached up, grazing around his eye with his index finger, then stared at the bloodied tip for a moment as his brow arched.

"Hmmmph." he huffed out with a shrug and pursed lips, then sucked the blood off, making a smacking sound as if it were a lollipop. "Ain't mine."

You and Orlando faced each other with incredulous eyes, then turned back to him.

"Then who the hell's is it? And what are you doing out here looking and acting like some stealthy secret agent with the super power of disappearing into thin air and reappearing out of nowhere? Oh, that's right. It's because you are one." Orlando quipped in an annoyed tone.

"Now that we have my career summed up in a nutshell little brother, I was handling your mess that you almost stupidly got into back there....although I must say, Josie here handled it pretty nicely herself."

"Wait...you were following us? And...handling my mess? Lukey, what did you do??" Orlando now asked in grave concern.

"I'll explain on the drive home. Josie, beautiful lady, would you mind hopping in the back seat?"

"Y..youuuu want me...to ride in the back of my own car while...you...drive it?"

Both of Luke's brows lifted as he held an earnest expression and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well...yes. Unless you'd like Landy to sit in the back and he don't do so well with that. You know. Car sickness and all. It can get quite messy and the smell could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. Kinda like when you opened this door and an entire brewery came blowing out in my face, so it's best if I drive this classic beast since I'm the only sober one here. If you don't like the back, you could always sit on Lando's lap, like in the bar. I'd offer you mine, but that don't leave much steering room. Either way, you're secret's safe with me with whatever is going on between you both. I don't get in people's personal affairs. That's Mum's cup of busybody tea.."

"Luke man, what the fuck." Orlando sharply retorted at his brother's propensity of witty rambles.

"Just tellin it like it is. So what'll it be kids? Chop chop. I really think we need to go because I think I pissed some people off."

Orlando groaned as he ran his hand down his face. "This night just keeps getting more and more fucked up. I'll just get in the back."

"Noooo." you swiftly quipped. "I don't need you shifting gears back there."

Luke chortled as you reluctantly got out and plopped into the back with a huff.

"Smart girl." Luke grinned. As he began to get in, a screeching car could be heard in the distance.

"Time to go!" he then belted out and jumped in, slamming the door which made you cringe. "Buckle up buttercups. It's gonna be one hell of a joyride."

You clicked your belt and gulped as Luke fired her up and peeled out, leaving a trail of smoke behind your muscular Monte Carlo. The radio had already been on and Luke immediately cranked it up, then began singing the Golden Earring song, 'Radar Love' and tapped on the wheel as he raced around the corner with a vehicle speeding up from behind. He was enjoying this.

"I've been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel. There's a voice in my head that drives my heel. It's my baby callin saying I need you here and it's a half past four and I'm shifting gear!"

Orlando was holding onto the chicken bar, being almost face planted into the window as the back end swayed out from the hard turn and you were holding onto the back of the seat that you peeked over with gaping eyes at the carload of pissed off strangers in tow.

"Jesus christ Luke, what the fuck did you do?!!" Orlando shouted over the music.

"No time for chit chat Landy!!" Luke bellowed as he took another tire squawking turn through the downtown streets of Salem, then tossed the hammer at him. "You may need this after all. The one guy has Godzilla tattooed on his arm and I can see the resemblance."

Whoever the people were, they were relentless in their pursuit. You couldn't see their faces due to the headlights but from what you could make out, there were at least four of them in what looked like a beefed up Trans Am.

"You mean to tell me you don't have a gun with you???" Orlando desperately asked his daredevil brother.

"Landy, you know I'm more of a hands on kinda guy. When the going gets tough, what do they say??"

"The tough get going." Orlando snarked as he rolled his eyes.

"No. They say shut the fuck up and hold on!"

Another fast burn out turn was taken, almost sending your car into a one eighty, but Luke skillfully and gracefully brought your girl back in line and continued on his fast and furious path.

"I think I'm the one who's gonna be sick." you muttered.

Orlando spun around and reached to you. "Jo, hold my hand. I'm here."

You quickly clasped onto him and now police sirens could be heard nearby.

"Ok, it's time to end this before we all need bail money. Hold the fuck on!!!" Luke warned with a shout and ran the upcoming red light as you ducked and screamed, listening to horns blasting from the green light traffic.

The Trans Am skidded into a three sixty as they went through it, almost plowing into a truck that Luke had miraculously cleared.

Luke turned a corner and then one more before hitting the brakes and magically maneuvering the super sport into a perfect slide as he entered a dark alley and immediately turned the lights off.

You all sat in silence for a moment with you and Landy still gripped onto each other, mouths gaping and both panting while Luke sat calm and collected with his hazel greens frozen in the rear view mirror at the street.

About ten seconds later, the Trans Am went speeding by, soon followed by two police cars, sirens blaring and lights blazing.

"What a rush! I need an after sex cigarette." Luke cheered with a huge smile.

"Speak for yourself!" Orlando barked and released your hand, then frantically tugged at his seatbelt until he was free and climbed over the seat, pulling you into his arms.

"You ok??" he sweetly asked as he stroked your hair.

You glanced up to see Luke's mesmerizing hues staring at you in the mirror, slightly stealing your breath to where you couldn't answer.

"She's fine. Aren't you sweetheart? In fact, I think she enjoyed the rush as well." Luke said in a tantalizing way, still locked in your eyes.

You'd be lying if you said that weren't true, considering the crazy life you had experienced with Jason and you could tell Luke knew that....and even liked it.

"Are you insane???" Orlando growled. "Who the hell were those people??!!"

"Insane? No. Venturesome would be the appropriate term."

"Crazy. Crazy is the appropriate term, now answer the damn question Luke!"

"Look...I simply followed pops into a bar to deal with him. These drunk hillbilly dudes didn't like that in "their" bar as they put it and so I gave them an attitude adjustment on top of the head, as the good old Hank song goes. Dad dipped out during the ass handing ceremony and once I had a free moment, I dipped too and found you...then they found me and here we are."

"That's just great man. Now they'll be looking for her car which isn't that hard to spot."

"Not tonight they won't unless they managed to elude the law. Besides, they'll be looking for me, not you doll...but I would recommend parking this beauty in a garage for awhile. If they ever give you any trouble darlin, you call me. I won't let anyone hurt you....and keep that pepper spray on hand."

Finally, you were ale to answer the acumen agent. "I...I don't have a garage at my place. The closest one is two blocks down and...I don't have your number."

"Well Lando has one. I mean, that's where you were headed tonight anyways right? I'll get your digits there and I have something else for you that will come in handy."

Luke crept down the alley with the lights off until he came to the next street, then he flipped them on and casually drove off like ya'll hadn't just been in the Daytona 500.

Somehow you dozed off on the long ride back to Orlando's beach front condo and awoke in his arms from the car coming to a halt and the light turning on as Luke got out to close the garage door.

"Rise and shine ladies." he jested and opened your door, winking at you as he softly grinned.

You got out and Orlando raced inside, heading straight for the bathroom to be sick.

"You see? I told you." Luke chuckled as he held the door for you.

Luke went straight to the kitchen and lit up a cigarette, then he began pulling out random food items from the fridge.

"You hungry? I make a mean steak."

"That actually sounds really good. I'm going to go check on Landy."

"Here. Wait."

Luke walked over to you with the cigarette hanging from his lips and handed you his phone.

"Put your number in." he said and then paused, forming a smugly cute grin. "Please."

You did so as he took his leather jacket off and walked over to a drawer, pulling something out, then returned to you, putting the cigarette out on his way.

As you handed him his phone back, you gasped at seeing his cut up and bloodied knuckles on his right hand. Instinctively, you took a hold of it to look it over better.

"Oh my God. Here, let me find some peroxide and clean that up for you."

"Nah, no need to fuss. It's nothing but a few cat scratches and as you can very well see, I'm a big boy. But thank you for the concern."

"Well Orlando's the doctor, not you, so we'll see what he thinks."

"Yes ma'am." Luke said, offering a smirk that held fondness as he peered down at you, still holding his hand.

"Oh... sorry. I'm ummm... yeah.. gonna go check him now." You stammered, pulling your hand back and left. Why in the hell did he make you so damn nervous?

"Hurry up in there bro! I need a shower before I start cooking." Luke hollered down the hall as you approached the bathroom door.

Softly you knocked. "Orlando? Are you ok??"

He quickly rubbed water all over his face and hair when he heard your voice, then hesitated for a moment to go out, feeling overly anxious and ashamed of his behavior.

You heard the water shut off and then the door zipped open to a saturated Orlando, shirtless and smelling of Listerine.

"Yeah, I'm good. God I'm so sorry Josie."

"Landy, don't apologize for being sick. That's not your fault." you assured him as you backed up, not knowing where to place your curious eyes. You had never seen him without a shirt before and felt a bit frazzled at his extremely toned build that his clothing hid well. Jesus Jo, what's the big deal? you asked yourself.

"No, not that. I'm sorry for yelling at you and acting like an asshole. You're right. About Ethan and why I lied about him." He finally admitted with a heavy heart and matching eyes. "He...swore he could get to you, even from prison and I...I couldn't...I wouldn't take that chance. If he ever hurt you, I...."

Orlando vigorously rubbed his face and sighed, then his eyes went wide as Luke, the also shirtless and most generously buff Brit, came walking up like a proud lion. His eyes fixated on you and indiscreetly traveled down your body, sending an intimidating shiver right through you.

"You couldn't wait to get undressed in the bathroom??" Orlando quipped.

"How did you put it earlier? Speak for yourself?" Luke retorted as his brows furrowed.

"I live here."

"As do I, temporarily that is. What's the big deal Lando? Lighten up, although it smells like you already did."

Luke reached inside the bathroom and flipped the exhaust on as he grimaced and then came back out.

"You gonna be able to eat without ralphing that up too? I'm making your favorite, steak, eggs and potatoes."

"Thanks man, but I think I'll just have some eggs and toast. Not all that hungry."

"Scrambled, just like your belly. Suit yourself. More for me and Josephine." Luke replied as he patted his tight and toned stomach, then grew a grin that bore all of his pearly whites. "Welp, I need a long hot shower. The steaks are thawing in the sink."

He began to walk off when you called him out.

"Hold it."

Luke slowly turned with a side eye at you and a tiny smile, then walked back to Orlando and held his injured hand out.

"Am I gonna live Doc? It looks way better than what your hand looked like."

The good doc looked it over, then dropped his hand and smiled.

"I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm going to have to amputate the entire hand."

Luke patted his little brother on the back of his neck and gave him a tiny shake.

"Good old doctor humor. Never gets old Landy. Glad I get to keep it because after the day I've had, I'm gonna need this hand in the shower."

You damn near choked on your own spit as Luke went into the bathroom and grinned at you as he shut the door.

Orlando dropped his head and shook it. "Just ignore him and the gutter his mind lives in. Come on. Lets go peel some potatoes."

Luke got in the shower and cranked it to as hot as he could take it and let it run over his head.

Now that he was alone, he could let his guard down, the one he used to protect himself just as he protected others. He was the strong one, he had to be, for his Mum and for Orlando and even for himself. There were things he had been through in his time away, things that he had seen, things that he had done and it ate at him on a daily basis. He and Orlando were a lot alike, taking their frustrations out in dangerous ways, both waiting for someone to pull the pin on the grenade living inside of them. Somedays he regretted the life he chose, feeling he was no better than his father or Ethan. He felt so guilty for leaving Orlando all alone, knowing what was going on, but he too was young, only eighteen at the time and traumatized as well, for it had happened to him too and Orlando and his Mum didn't know, no one did but him....and Luke couldn't bring himself to break his mother's weakened heart with the truth or send his brother over the edge with that revelation in his already vulnerable state of mind. Luke could have ended it all tonight. He had had his father's neck in his grip. One snap or hard long boa constrictor squeeze and it would have all been over....but he couldn't do it. Why??? It's what he did to all of the bad seeds like him, so WHY??

Luke laid his forehead on the shower wall and broke down sobbing in silent tears as he vowed he would find the courage to do it one day.

"Is he always like that?" you asked with a chuckle, for you had only met him briefly at the hospital after Orlando's surgery. You still remembered the first words out of his mouth when he saw you. "And who is this delightful creature?" From what you could now tell about him, Luke definitely had no filter and you even got the vibe that he possibly fancied you.

"That would be a hard yep. He's not a bad guy. He's actually one of the nicest and greatest people I've ever known. He's just been through his own shit in life and it's toughened him up. All that stupid ass humor of his is just a barrier. If he likes and trust you enough, he'll lower it, but with that said, he's tenacious. Once he sees something he wants, he won't stop until he gets it. I'm not sure I like the way he looks at you."

"What?? Landy, come on. He's Lee's good friend too. He wouldn't do that?? W...would..he?"

"He would and he will. Wouldn't be a first either. It's a thin line between love and friendship with him. Yeah, he loves Lee to death, but...trust me, that won't stop him. I'm his own brother and a long time ago, there was this girl I was seeing. I really liked her and I thought...stupidly thought.... she liked me too until one night I came home and caught her sucking his cock. Now of course he claimed that she came onto him and so he let it happen to prove a point, that I deserved better. You believe that shit? I mean, you heard him tonight. Saying he wouldn't tell anyone about us partying in the bar and he hasn't once asked about Lee tonight or where he was. He told you to call him if you needed help. He knows no boundaries, nor believes in them unless it's something of his. He's an adrenaline junkie who lives on the edge. Look what he did tonight??"

"He did that for you though didn't he? And look what you did tonight too."

Orlando tossed the potato peeler in the sink and just stared at you.

"So you're defending him now? No surprise there. Just like with Lee, everyone adores Luke and I am just shit."

"Ok, I did not mean it like that and you know it."

"Nooo Josie, I don't know it. It don't fucking matter anyways, so let's just drop it. You got what you wanted from me, the truth about how I lied to keep Ethan out of prison, so what more do you want?? I fucked up...then and tonight. I'm a fuck up and always have been."

"That's some tale you told there Lando, conveniently leaving out the entire plot." Luke flatly said as he came walking out in his sweats, carrying a shirt while towel drying his arms.

"You see?? A natural born spy who claims he don't get in people's business."

Luke pursed his lips and whipped the towel down on the chair, then yanked his shirt on and went to the stove to begin cooking as he ignored Orlando....at least he tried to, but now he was just flat out fucking pissed that his brother told his business to you, and he didn't tell it the way it actually happened....not to mention, he heard him admit his lie.

Luke suddenly slammed the skillet into the sink and got in Orlando's face, backing him across the room as he shouted in quite a hypocritical way without even realizing it due to his anger.

"What is the matter with you!!! You could have put Ethan away for a long time and you pussied out all because you got a case of puppy love???"

Orlando stood up to him all in your defense. "He threatened to hurt her!! And you know he could have had it done from prison!! Why didn't you just take care of him then??? Or dad??!! You had the bastard right in front of you tonight."

"Yes, in a room full of witnesses!!!"

"You have never cared about that! So don't give me that shit Luke. You could have easily disappeared into your little underground world just like you're so good at doing, and never be seen again. You know what he did to me, you know what Ethan did to me and you let them both walk, you fucking hypocrite, so don't stand here giving me shit for what I did to protect someone I care about."

"You mean someone you love, ain't that right Landy?? You're best friend's girl that you were hanging all over tonight in the bar as if Lee did not exist."

"Like I didn't exist when you had your cock in my girlfriend's mouth??! Or, you wanna talk about Lee?? What about you tonight?? I know you Luke! The way you were eyeing HIS girlfriend when he's also YOUR friend. What about Lee pining after Ethan in secret while he is supposed to love Josie?? Oh, right, bet you didn't know about that...."

"STOP IT!!" you shouted, now in tears. "You both speak as if I'm not even in the room and how dare you say that about Lee Landy!! He never said that was the case!"

"I'm sorry...Josie I am...You're right. I shouldn't have said that."

"You shouldn't have said a lot of shit tonight little brother but you just couldn't help yourself could you??? ALL because you're jealous. Oh everyone wants my brother and Lee, boo frickity who. That girl you were seeing was a piece of trash!! Only you were too desperate for love to see your worth. She was banging Ethan!!! I knew you wouldn't believe me so I had to prove to you what a whore she was, even if it hurt you, so my CLAIM was true! I threw her ass out after you stormed off. Maybe it was cold and cruel but it got the job done!"

"Cold and cruel? That's a fucking understatement if I ever heard one. You're no better than dad OR Ethan. You just left me there to take what he gave me, only caring about yourself!"

"You shut your mouth boy! Don't you ever compare me to either of them!" Luke raged as he pushed his nose against Orlando's.

In retaliation, Orlando shoved him, hard and fast, knocking Luke back about six feet and then charged him over the kitchen table.

Both scuffled to their feet and punches were thrown by each to the face and gut, and then the next thing you knew, Luke had Orlando in a choke hold as you stood in panic, not knowing what to do except scream at Luke, which did absolutely nothing.

"Get off of him!!!!"

You dumped your purse out to find your phone to call 911 but it was missing. Your eyes then frantically searched the room for something to stop Luke's' madness and they ceased on the small black object that Luke pulled out of the drawer to give you but never had the chance. You knew exactly what it was, for Gerry had given you one once, but you never carried it. A Kubaton. No bigger than a marker that could be hooked on a keychain if desired or just carried in your pocket. The plastic was so hard that it had the potential, if used correctly, to break someone's nose or fingers to fend off an attacker. Even a good hit to the head would knock someone stupid.

"I'm not such a good guy after all now am I Landy??!" Luke snarled as he squeezed his gasping and thrashing brother. "And do you know why that is?????? Because that piece of garbage did it to me too!"

Without even thinking, you ran up behind Luke and cracked him above the eye with it. Luke released Orlando and fell to the ground, holding his bleeding head as Orlando dropped to his hands and knees, coughing and grasping at his throat.

"Luke!! I'm sorry!!!" you shouted and went to him. "I..I had to stop you...I...."

"I'm fine. Check my brother." Luke grunted out as he propped himself against the table leg.

You then heard a thud and turned to see Orlando passed out on the floor, his face beet red.

"Landy!! Oh my god...!"

You fell to your knees beside him, smacking at his cheeks, trying to wake him but he was motionless. Quickly, you felt for a pulse on his neck and then laid your head on his bare chest to listen for a heartbeat...and found neither.

"Luke!! He's not breathing!!!!!!!!!"

@redeemer46

#lee pace #code blue #lee pace fanfiction #orlando bloom fanfiction #orlando bloom #luke evans fanfiction #luke evans #doctors #love stories #dark stories #dark fiction #angst #fantasies #fairytales #jolee #Youtube

[havithreatendub4]

#Oscar #award

"Johnny Depp, one of Hollywood’s most talented and beloved actors of all time. It still comes as a surprise to many fans that he actually still hasn’t received an Academy Award. Here's why Johnny Depp deserves to finally win an Oscar.

If the Oscar is given to the best-performing actor of a certain year, Depp should have several statuettes by now. Depp is a multi-talented star, adding talented musician and an incredible painter to his already impressive acting resume. A prodigal son whose talents were discovered and put to use, the great Nicolas Cage was the one to encourage Depp to take on acting. One of his first successes in the industry was his role in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, an American coming-of-age drama film directed by Lasse Hallström, following a young Gilbert who lives with his obese, depressed mother and his siblings. Depp’s talent is completely tangible through his performance in this movie, where he tries to balance his youthful dreams and hopes with his responsibility towards his mother and his mentally disabled brother.

However, it was not until his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of The Black Pearl that he was finally nominated for the first time for the Academy Award. The Disney fantasy was an immediate box office success, reaching $654.3 million following its 2003 release. The story follows pirate Jack Sparrow (Depp) and blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) as they attempt to save Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), who was kidnaped by the cursed crew. This particular performance established the genius of Depp and drew the picture of his talent very clearly in the minds of viewers and cinema fans. He acted the role with everything he had: his voice, his facial expressions, his funny body gestures, and his emotions. Although the movie falls under the genres of fantasy and adventure, the viewers’ attachment to the character of Jack Sparrow reminded us of the kind of influence that characters in drama movies have. His talent alone was able to hook millions of fans without having to resort to dramatic effects, and complex dialogue.

Usually, when someone rises above the competition, it means that they are confident in their talent and what they bring to the table. Depp has always been different, not only in his clothing style but in his views and beliefs. In 2005, he told Vanity Fair that he doesn’t “want to win one of those things, ever” in reference to an Oscar, because it would mean that he was in competition with someone. Competition can be a great motivation for some, but others, only need to be in competition with themselves in order to move forward. Depp thinks competition is a negative form of motivation and refuses to enter the race. His high-self esteem does not allow him to measure his success by how heavy his trophy case is."

"One of the best is his titular role in Edward Scissorhands, which was a success both for the critics and financially. He played the role of a soft, and timid creation of a scientist, and his journey towards finding real connection and love. Although the character doesn’t get to say many lines, Depp is wonderfully successful in communicating his feelings, aspirations, and deepest needs for acceptance. This performance is just another reason why there should be a golden statuette in Depp’s hand by now.

He played The Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland with equal ease; with that amount of makeup on their face, only a handful of actors could pull off a fictional tea party quite as Depp did. He has also performed incredibly well in movies like Donnie Brasco, Finding Neverland, Ed Wood, and Black Mass.

Depp's fans might be outraged by this apparent lack of recognition, however, one must always hope that his Oscar is only being saved up for his next performance."

#article #excerpts

[geekymlt]

Movie Review: Troy vs 300

Let’s talk Ancient Greece.

I’m on a bit of a history kick lately.  It started with me reading a novels on Nefertiti and Alexander the Great, then listening to the Mythos Series by Stephen Fry, and now here we are: reviewing Troy (2004) and 300 (2007). I’m not sure why I’m even writing this.  I’m not sure if anyone is even going to read this.  But hey, if you’re here, welcome.  Enjoy my slightly deranged ramblings about historical films, I guess.  In any case, I decided to watch Troy, which was a mistake.  Especially when compared to 300. 

Let’s begin by saying that yes, I know Troy was nominated for a bunch of awards when it came out.  And it even won some (such as the Teen Choice Award for Brad Pitt as best actor).  But this movie is just… bad.  It just doesn’t age well.  It just looks dated.  The font they chose for any words plastered on the screen looked like Papyrus. The fight scenes feel too long and a bit clunky.  During the opening scene, for example, I didn’t realize that my firestick was acting up and making the audio drag.  I couldn’t even tell. I just thought it was long, dreary music for a long, kind of boring scene.  And that’s not even touching on the not great acting.  Eric Bana kills it.  He is a great Hector.  But Orlando Bloom just comes across as a whinier version of Will Turner.  Brad Pitt’s Achilles seems like his biggest fighting tactic is making a Blue Steel face at everyone.  Peter O’Toole (who apparently hated the movie) plays Priam, and honestly, comes across as a incompetent father and ruler.  But more than that, I think my main problem is the overall plot? I’m not even sure.  I’ve seen plenty of historical films.  I really like movies that are based more on reality and history, but maybe in Troy’s case, you just need the magic and mysticism of the gods and goddesses to really make it work.  Without it, it’s just the story of how Paris and Helen fucked up a bunch of people’s lives and ruined an entire kingdom.  (And trust me, I could go on forever about how much I hate Paris and Helen.  I won’t, but if you want my real time reactions, see my raw notes at the very end.  It’s….a lot.)

But then I consoled myself by watching 300, which I actually really enjoyed. Now, some of the enjoyment of watching 300 is being able to go, “Oh hey look it’s that meme.” But the pacing was much better.  At no point was I clicking to see how much more time was left.  The fight scene felt smooth and actually pleasant to watch.  The characters were nowhere near as cringe as in Troy (even if Leonidas did mysteriously develop a slight Scottish accent every now and then; I love Gerard Butler, but he needs to pick an accent and stick with it).  I did notice that there was no normal lighting in any of the scenes, but that’s honestly a very small complaint.  The lighting and color choices weren’t unappealing, and I probably only noticed because I had watched Troy prior to 300.  And Troy might suffer from the lack of mysticism, I don’t think 300 has that problem.  Sure, Leonidas does go to see Pythia the Oracle and they do talk about appeasing the gods, but make no mistake.  This is the story of Leonidas, who in this telling feels like he could rival any of the Greek heroes before him.  

Listen, I get that Troy is hamstrung by source material, so a lot of my gripes can’t be directed at the movie itself.  But it just doesn’t age well, at least not when compared to 300.  The cinematography is just better, the CGI is just better, and I feel like the story is just told better. It’s really hard to believe that they were only made three years apart.  In a head to head (theater) battle, Leonidas wins. 

Verdict

Troy: 3/10 (mostly because fuck you Paris and Helen, you got Hector killed)

300: 7.5/10 (probably due to nostalgia)

A few ending thoughts:  

I still really would like an Odyssey sequel starring Sean Bean. He is the perfect casting for Odysseus.

David Wenham is a poor man’s Sean Bean, but I still really love him.  Also, in my raw notes I ponder if he is the voice of the Narrator for Deadliest Warrior.  He is, but he used a psuedonym.  Why?  I’m not entirely sure.  

I cannot tell you how much I really, truly hate Paris and Helen. I don’t even remember hating them this much when I originally read the Iliad, but fuck me, every scene with one of them in it made me want to bash my head against the wall. Epic love story my ass. 

Vincent Regan is the “Hey it’s that  guy” of Ancient Greek movies, I guess.  He played the Captain in 300, Eudorus in Troy, and something in Clash of the Titans.  Apparently, he also has done a few other historical movies as well. 

The scene with Pythia the Oracle makes me deeply uncomfortable.  Just these old dudes chaining up a girl and getting her high so they can interpret her dreams, I guess.

I made my boyfriend watch 300 with me.  He fell asleep. How do you even fall asleep during 300?

This really has nothing to do with Troy or 300, but while listening to Heroes by Stephen Fry, I found out the origin story of Heracles and uh…. It’s really not like the Disney version.  Whooooo boy.

Raw notes in real time (Sorry about all the Helen hate and the butchering of names and spellings. It’s so hard to keep movie notes on my phone.)

Troy:

This movie is from 2004.  20 years ago. and even in HD, it looks like it.  I don't recall lord of the rings looking this bad on my last rewatch.  maybe it's the font?

so my firestick does weird shit with sound and the entire first scene must have had the slowed sound and i didnt even notice.  and then froze.  fun times

lols achilles doing fuck boy shit -- though i wonder if thats based on source materials

why is achilles armor one solidish piece and no one else's is 

slightly upset that avatar is somehow longer than the story told in the fucking ILIAD.  how

eric and orlando look like babies, also diane kruger could have had anyone and wound up settling for norman reedus.  y tho

hahahah hector's face when he realized when paris is up to 

yo that must have been some instense sex if they're both that sweaty

"do you love me brother"  oh fuck.  and hector knows it 

this is really just the story of men being stupid

WHY WOULD YOU LET ANYONE SEE HER

the war angle honestly is the more interesting part of this story.  

Sean beanie baby! 

Achilles is right tho. 

Odysseus and his tricks.  

Yup. Men having 0 self preservation and women just telling the truth 

Why king priam doesn't yeet Paris off the roof.  Helen fucking sucks 

Saffron burrows is gorgeous 

Hector is fucking right.  Let Paris follow her. 

Yeah. Do that Paris. Paris and Helen fucking suck.  

Oh hey your city is under attack 

Once again, men being stupid. 

These fight scenes... aren't great 

Yeah maybe you shouldn't have defiled that statue Achilles (also is that Jude law?) 

Wtf Hector why would you go in there 

Also Jude law/chris meloni hybrid is vincent regan. Idk who that is 

Poor baby cousin rose byrne 

War is young men dying and old men talking 

Good let Paris burn.  Hes an idiot 

Poor andromache. She doesn't deserve this shit 

Helen doing Helen bullshit 

Eric banas aussie accent slips in there occasionally 

Menelaus could just kill Paris and this could all be over.  But no fuck you Hector. Also this fight scene is bad and they should feel bad for making me watch it. Its like seeing two drunk dudes in scranton fight over a chick.  Menelaus isn't wrong to be honest. LMAO PRIAMS FACE 

I still don't understand why Hector went to engage Ajax.  

Hector would have been a good ruler 

Louise voice: oh man Paris.  You should kill yourself 

I think I dont understand ancient Greek romance.  

Patrocolus is such a whiny baby 

Listen to Hector you fools 

Troy is so fucking stupid 

Ok but those flaming ball things are cool 

Remember when I said Hector was smart?  Maybe not so much 

But also fuck patrocolus. why did he do that? And not Jude law.  Not Jude law fucking had to know what was happening and did  nothing.  

I do not envy those people having to tell Achilles. But Brad pitt has a terrible cry face 

All of this could have been avoided if people had just listened to Hector at every step. But no.  No one listened to Hector and now he gets to die and his body desecrated. Fuck this movie. Oh and fuck you Helen. 

The only decent fight scene. Then ruined by Achilles being a douche 

Priam. You asshole.  You listened to the stupid priest over Hector. Had you listened to Hector, this wouldn't be an issue.  

Man if I was andromache I would have so much resentment for Helen. 

This is what happens with Hector gone.  Priam and the priests: oh sweet look at this baller horse the Greeks left us. Let's bring it inside! Do you really think Hector would let them bring that inside?  Fuck no.  Also why does priam always listen to the priests and not his kids? 

Sure just start slaughtering people. Sounds legit. 

Welp. Bye bye Troy.  I blame Priam.  Hes on par with boromir and faramirs dad on bad fathers 

SAVE THE HORSIES 

where is andromache and the baby. They need to get out now 

Hey priam, look at your city.  You did that shit.  

Fuck you agamemnon. You greedy shit. 

Run andromache 

Oh briseis.  Even though that's not how agamemnon ends i appreciate it. 

Such bullshit that Paris is the only one who lives with his lover. All of this was his fault to begin with. 

I love that it ends with Sean beanie baby. 

300 is a better movie, but id watch a Sean bean Odysseus movie all day long

300:

Graphics are better 

Visuals and cinematography is better 

Is this narrator the dude from deadliest warriors.  Wait, it is.

Why does teenage warrior look like David Sampson or the dude that plays nu!Spock 

Poor puppy 

Oh shit it's faramir 

Leonidas looks like that meme 

Hello cersei. 

Lol this dude is so dead 

All I can think of when I hear xerxes is scissor me xerxes

Omg all the this is Sparta memes 

Ephors look like orcs 

Weird how the ephor is translating exactly what they said before. 

Oops. Gerard butler ass 

Awww shes a good wife 

Yeah I forgot about the sex scene. Oops 

Why does Gerard butler look older in 2006 than now 

And the captain was eudorus from Troy! Vincent regan.  

They know this is the last time they'll see each other 

Why is this movie so much better than troy 

Fucking Hannibal move. Now I miss Hannibal 

Wtf is that smeagol looking bullshit 

Yo this music rocks.  But like. .. why? Also they didn't do anything. The storm did 

Wait stop. Fassy is in this movie? 

Lol suckerrrrr (about wall) 

Did they cgi everyone's abs? 

Awww poor smeagol. 

Do the Spartans fail because Leonidas is too prideful?  Goes against the oracle and gods, rejects ephilades. Lies to elders 

Casting differences between Troy and 300 

I dont understand war logistics but I dont get why they moved from cove 

Time to fight in the shadow, like fassy said 

Ok the hoard vs the Spartans. There's no way. Its not logistical.  Even with the phalanx, wouldn't they get tired 

Cersei  has some very 2000s eyebrows 

Ew Theron. 

I love the random Persians still alive that the Spartans are killing 

Oh scissor me xerxes! 

God kings are a very Egyptian thing. I wonder if Persians share that culture. Also ... Gerards accent makes Leonidas sound like a crazy Scotsman.  This whole scene is fucking hilarious 

All these lotr rip offs.  Immortals are just nazghuls

Let's be real, this lotr aragon story line condensed into one movie 

Lol Acadiana as backups 

WAR RHINOS YESSSS

It's a holy hand grenade 

War elephants! 

Stelios/astinos ship? 

Well that kills that, never mind. 

Wtf goat thing is that 

Oh Theron is Dominic west. Explains a lot 

If Leonidas had just... not been a dick to Greek smeagol 

Daxos is right tho?  Fuck that glory shit 

Tonight we dine in hell.  More memes 

Queen gorgo is bad ass.  And Theron is proven to be a snake 

Kill that Greek smeagol 

Wait how to dilios know all this?  He's not there.  Get is stelios.  But also xerxes has some on point makeup.  Also um... gods don't bleed. 

Captain is such a bad ass. 

More memes 

😢😢😢😢😢 oh Leonidas 

I love Dave wenhams voice.  Go get em boys The end.

#troy #300 #ancient greece #greek mythology #movie reviews #history wank #mythos #fuck paris and helen you got hector killed #brad pitt can't act #sean beanie baby #i love david wenham

[incorrect-koh-posts]

My favourite medievalist professor told me that KoH "has Orlando Bloom!"... who cares about Legolas when Jeremy bloody Irons and Alexander fucking Siddig are in one movie!?!?!?!

Also, why is it not made clear who they actually are?? I have read about Raymond, and I have also read Isfahani's works, and I had to learn both facts through Ao3.

Why are you like this, Mr. Scott.

A medievalist watching KoH for Orlando Bloom?? Owww. My heart. That would make me lose faith in humanity, too. 😂 Though, to be fair, my thesis supervisor (I'm writing about medieval literature, bc duh) recently told me that she liked Clive Owen in that abominable King Arthur movie, so ... I feel you 😂

As for Raymond and Imad: Well, obviously I wholeheartedly agree with you 😁 They're my faves in KoH (which means you will be subjected to a longer rant now, haha), I like the actors a lot, and while both historical figures were a bit shady in some ways, I find them absolutely fascinating. It is a fucking shame they didn't really get to shine in the movie.

The Imad-Rant

I think with Imad, it is quite clear why Scott chose to present a heavily fictionalised version of the character. Kingdom of Heaven was made in the aftermath of 9/11, after all, and the influences of that zeitgeist are written all over the film: how all organised religion is presented as fanaticism, how all crusaders who actually believe in the cause are shown to be uncivilised bigots, how Scott takes special care to show the Muslim characters as honourable, wise, and cultured - much more so than the 'bad guys' from the Christian side - to avoid tapping into the then-prevalent, 9/11-fueled racist stereotypes of Muslims being seen as backward religious fanatics with a penchant for violence.

It is this general cultural climate, I suppose, that affected the character of Imad - because Imad ad-Din al-Isfahani, also called al-Kātib ("the scribe"), didn't quite fit the role of 'good, wise Muslim' in his historical form. For that, I'm afraid, he comes across as a bit too enthusiastic when writing about thousands of Christian women being "deflowered", "stripped of their modesty", "tamed", "dishonoured", "forced to yield themselves" etc. at Salah ad-Din's re-taking of Jerusalem. You get the gist. (And don't get me wrong: the crusaders did all of those things too, and probably with just as much glee.)

But such a depiction of a Muslim character would have been deadly in the early 2000s - and still would be nowadays, tbh. So the writers likely stripped the historical figure of all its potentially questionable attributes to make it more digestible to a mass audience. Why they didn't make Imad a completely fictional character instead we'll never know - my guess would be they didn't want to lose their ... um, arguable claim to 'historical accuracy'. Whatever that's supposed to be.

I'd say, therefore, that I'm not too bothered with what Scott and his team did to Imad - at least in terms of entertainment value. The historical Imad ad-Din would probably not have made for a very sympathetic movie character. Sure, it would have made things more nuanced and interesting on the Saracen side, but overall, I don't think that would have done anyone a favour at the time of the film's release. So I try to be happy with what we have, which is, admittedly, a bit difficult because the script does the character so dirty. Alexander Siddig's performance was fabulous and definitely deserves more love; sometimes I cannot help but wonder what we could have had if KoH had focused a bit more on the Muslim characters and explored their motivations and backstories instead of Balian's. I think - if handled competently - that would have been nothing short of awesome.

So yeah, thank God for Ao3 and FFnet. 😉

The Raymond-Rant

As for why Scott made all those changes to Raymond III of Tripoli though, I have no idea. I'd speculate that he probably tried to simplify the whole thing a bit, since it would've taken an awful lot of screentime to accurately explain Raymond's role in the kingdom: e.g. that Tripoli was its own sovereign state, but that Raymond was nonetheless subject to the Kingdom of Jerusalem through his marriage to the Countess of Tiberias, yadda, yadda. So I think it was easier, in the end, to make him Lord Marshal and advisor to the king and be done with it. I must say I'm not too salty about the name change (though what idiot would confuse 'Raymond' and 'Reynald'??) because it at least hints at the fact that he was Count of Tiberias. What makes me far angrier is that they left out his wife, who would actually have been vital to make the whole Hattin episode make sense and would've given it some emotional heft. Ridley, my dude, I hate to break it to you - but women existed in that era, too.

Anyway. I know some people probably question my sanity on a regular basis whenever I start making heart eyes at Tiberias. Which, I admit, does happen a fair amount, lol. I partly blame my age-inappropriate yet persistent crush on Jeremy Irons for that. The man tends to be like catnip to me, even when he isn't battle-scarred, world-weary, and wearing chainmail. But I digress.

Because the point is: Even though they changed so much, his performance still fits so well with Raymond's actual backstory. From the way Irons plays it, you'd believe that this no-nonsense lord spent ten years in captivity in Aleppo and that - instead of turning angry and bitter at his captors like Reynald of Châtillon - he used the time to learn Arabic and acquaint himself with the ways of his Muslim neighbours. You'd believe that he was regent for both Baldwin IV and Baldwin V, and that he has four stepsons at home that he likes to shepherd around a bit but is actually very fond of. But you also wouldn't think it impossible that he'd make a private truce with Salah ad-Din to protect his own people and lands, even if that agreement was effectively treason to the crown, leading to the absolute carnage at the Springs of Cresson and doing great damage to both the kingdom and Raymond's own reputation.

He wasn't some coward who hauled his scrawny ass to Cyprus (that was Guy, btw, in 1190 or so) when he didn't like the vibe in Jerusalem anymore and left his friend to pick up the pieces. He had his reasons; and saintly bloody Balian actually fled the Battle of Hattin with him. Together, they went to Tyre to wait whether some help for the kingdom would arrive. (It did, eventually, in the form of Conrad of Montferrat.) However, at that point, Raymond had already lost all hope and returned to Tripoli to die of pleurisy, guilt, and - as some chroniclers wrote - "a broken heart". Yes. I'll never forgive Scott for depriving me of all that drama. *shakes fist*

Just look how sad the poor boy is. 😥

I mean, if anybody could pull off dying in such a painful and tragic manner, thinking it was all his fault that the kingdom was lost, it would be this beautiful man. Because no other actor dies on-screen with quite the same intensely wistful, guilt-ridden, and tortured energy as Jeremy Irons, and you can pry that opinion from my cold dead hands. He was perfect for Raymond of Tripoli. I just wish Scott had given him more to do.

Cyprus, my ass. 🙄

#asks #sorry this ended up being so long #but i could rant about my boy raymond for two hours without running out of steam #i'll never understand why he doesn’t get more love #and why even the novelists always relegate him to the sidelines #like are you fucking kidding me #with THAT BACKSTORY?? #that's a great protagonist if i ever saw one #certainly more interesting than bland saintly balian #god i need to go to sleep #please don't hate me for this #i know the fandom's interest in these two is limited at best #but it makes me happy to be able to talk about my faves for once without being side-eyed by the omnipresent spectre of baldwin #sorry again #i hope this makes sense #kingdom of heaven 2005 #imad ad-din #nasir #alexander siddig #raymond iii of tripoli #tiberias #jeremy irons #i realise i went completely off the rails here #but my god when will i ever have the opportunity again

[invisibleraven]

One, two, three (not only you and me)

Welcome to my first ficlet for @polyshipweek 2022! Every day I will be uploading a different ficlet based on one of the prompts, with a few different Julie and the Phantoms pairings, I hope you enjoy!

Day One: Two Hands

Pairing: Alex/Luke/Reggie

Warnings: Brief mention of canon character deaths at the end

AO3 link!

When Alex and Luke started dating, they swore up and down that it wouldn't affect the band. Bobby had rolled his eyes and told them not to let him catch them making out, and Reggie gave a half hearted chuckle, but was otherwise silent. But the boys knew what his parents were like, and figured he had some hang ups about relationships. Sure, Reggie was a huge flirt with every girl and a fair number of guys after shows, but he had never really picked anyone up, and there was no way he got shot down every time. So they resolve to ensure that Reggie still feels loved and included by inviting him out with the two of them from time to time.

Reggie looks confused by that, "Why would you want me crashing your date?"

Luke scoffs, "You're not crashing, we're going to Disney! You love it there and plus Alex is a wimp about the roller coaster and I hate going alone!"

Alex lets out an indignant shout at that, no matter how true it may be. "Well that means Reg and I will go see all the princesses without you!'

"Even Ariel?"

"Especially Ariel!"

"We can go and see Ariel with all three of us, but I get to pick out our ears," Reggie negotiates. The other two agree and plans are made for the day.

Once at the park, they immediately head off to get ears, as Alex has everything planned, and they want to make the most of their day. Reggie of course chooses a Star Wars themed headband, with a grin as blinding as the sun. Luke snatches up a Little Mermaid pair of ears, as he was going to sulk if they really didn't bring him to meet Ariel. Alex surprised them both by forgoing Aurora ears, and chose a set of Pirates of the Caribbean ones instead.

"Orlando Bloom was super hot in those movies," he mumbled. Luke nodded in agreement while Reggie fist bumped him in solidarity.

"To the teacups!" Luke declared, grabbing both of their hands and dragging them towards the ride. Of course Luke was determined to make the ride go as fast as he could, being a certified adrenaline junkie, but Alex fought him, as none of them wanted to deal with motion sickness, especially on the first ride of the day. It caused Luke to grumble, but he acquiesced to keeping the tamer rides calmer for the sake of their stomachs.

They all veto It's A Small World, and though Alex doesn't want to get wet, lets them drag him to Splash Mountain, screaming the loudest as they go over the edge. But when Luke tries to direct them towards Space Mountain, Alex starts to protest.

"No way, no roller coasters!"

"Oh come on Alex, you can even hold my hand," Reggie said, holding his hand out to Alex. Alex took it tentatively, grinning shyly at Reggie and how good it felt to hold him.

"But who's going to hold my hand?" Luke asked with an over the top pout.

Reggie blushed and stammered, but then said "Well, I do have two." He offered Luke his free hand, and Luke beamed as he snatched it up, pulling the two of them towards the ride. The three of them held each other through the ride, whooping and screaming at every turn, never letting go of their hands.

It was only when they got off the ride did Alex even loosen his grasp on Reggie, but the boy looked reluctant to let him go. And Alex had to concede that he liked holding Reggie's hand, maybe even as much as he liked holding Luke's. A glance at his boyfriend's face told a similar story, so Alex grabbed back onto Reggie with a smile. "So, which ride do you guys wanna do next?" He asked, letting the two of them pull him towards another roller coaster. But Alex knew he was safe with them, and just kept holding on tight, determined to never let go.

It was rare from then on to find the three without one another, hands clasped together. Eventually they found other things the three of them could do together, and went forward as a triad of partners. Even as they drew their last breaths, they reached weakly for each other, passing with their hands held together, just as they had in life.

#polyshipweek22 #polyphantoms #my stuff #writing #fanfic #julie and the phantoms

[shiretunez]

Been watching some hobbit behind the scenes and my hot take on the movies is that I think they shouldn’t have given Orlando Bloom a script. Think they should’ve just let him loose on the set and told him to do whatever he wanted and it probably would have been more accurate to Legolas’ character than how they had him acting in the hobbit movies

#the hobbit #the hobbit movies #legolas #orlando bloom #the hobbit behind the scenes #the hobbit bts #an unexpected journey #the hobbit auj #the desolation of smaug #tdos #the battle of the five armies #lord of the rings #lotr #lotr movies #no shade to orlando he’s a great actor #but personally #I Did Not like Legolas in the hobbit movies #he’s so serious skdjksks #I just think it’s weird how much they changed him #okay hold on I’m gonna reblog something with this

[pyrrhiccomedy]

and that brings me to Paris & Helen

this one is unusual in my exhaustive coverage of everything wrong with 2004′s Troy in that they actually did a couple of things right

first of all, making Paris and Helen actually be in love is a good decision. In The Iliad, she isn’t. Helen is a faithful wife to Menelaus, she hates Paris’s guts, and when the Trojans lose the war (uh, spoilers?) she goes home with her husband and they live out the rest of their lives happily in Sparta.

there’s a good movie in keeping that intact also, but in Troy they wanted Paris to be sympathetic and for the Trojans to be the Good Guys (mental note: need to make a post about how fucking stupid it was to make the Trojans the Good Guys and the Greeks the Bad Guys) and that doesn’t work if Paris is a kidnapping rapist.

listen when you talk about Troy (the only thing anybody should ever talk about) you have to tease out the good decisions from the bad decisions. 

Bad decision: making the Trojans & the Greeks a good vs evil binary. 

Good decision: in light of the fact that you have apparently chosen to do this, making Helen actually love Paris. this opens up Paris’s character to be, not necessarily more complex (there’s room for Paris to be plenty complex in The Iliad already), but definitely a lot more likeable and palatable. 

Bad decision: in light of making Helen love Paris, making her hate Menelaus. This REMOVES THE SOURCE OF TENSION FOR HER CHARACTER THAT YOU YOURSELVES NEWLY INTRODUCED. this is so simple. make her conflicted. she has fallen into swift, passionate love with Paris and abandoned her older, honorable, decent husband! while the passion of the moment was sufficient to make her damn both of their nations, over time she has doubts. when Paris flees from the duel with Menelaus, she is forced to confront that while she loves Paris, she does not respect him: she respects her husband.

It also takes complexity away from Paris! If she respects and, in a different way, even loves her husband, Paris can be jealous, he can be insecure, these are emotions that fit really well on Paris, the Best Craven Little Shit of the Western canon. 

Create a source of conflict within their relationship. not just “oh nooo, war is bad people are dying” but actually, like. WITH THE TWO OF THEM. Have it mirror the turning fortunes of the war. Let them fight. Give Helen the dignity of getting angry or being disappointed or feeling, jesus, ANYTHING other than Pretty Anxiety for 2 hours.

AWFUL DECISION: Helen never feels anything in this movie except for Pretty Anxiety.

she’s prettily anxious as she consents to run away with Paris. she’s prettily anxious as attempts to escape Troy and return to her husband in order to stop the war. she’s prettily anxious as Paris fights Menelaus; she stands up at one point to indicate that she feels more anxious (prettily) when Paris flees. She’s prettily anxious when Hector dies to Achilles and she’s prettily anxious as she flees the city with Andromache at the end of the movie.

She never screams. She never cries. She mists up a couple of times, but no tears ever fall (what would that do to her makeup?). She never rages, she NEVER displays any actual passion. hot, crushing kisses between Helen and Paris? unacceptable! what if it mashes up her face for a second in a way that isn’t pretty?

during the Paris & Menelaus duel (actually a good scene, Orlando Bloom is great as Paris), I turned to my fiancee and said, “this movie would never have the guts to make Helen throw up out of fear in this scene, but she should.”

Helen has no actual feelings in this movie and so it’s impossible to care about her. next.

Good decision: Orlando Bloom as Paris.

everyone knows Orlando Bloom is not a good actor. he can do one thing, and that’s dreamy, romantic vulnerability. fortunately, that’s all he needs in Troy. he absolutely sells being a dreamy, romantic fuckboy, who’s too cowardly to fight and too short-sighted to meaningfully understand the consequences of his actions, but really does love Helen with all his heart. against actors turning in much worse performances (mostly Diane Kruger as Helen and Eric Bana (Eric Bana) as Hector), he gives them everything he’s got. you feel his heartbreaking idealism when he urges Helen to run away with him. you feel his sickening terror when he goes to fight Menelaus. you feel his weak, almost swooning confusion (it’s come to this? it’s come to this) when Hector goes out to die against Achilles. he’s great. in fact he’s so great that it creates a new problem, which is “why is this guy risking everything for Helen, she’s a nothing-burger character and she’s not even that pretty.”

Orlando Bloom can’t play angry, but Troy’s Paris is never angry, he’s just confused and vulnerable and upset. It works.

Bad decision: they split up in the end.

this is so weird. this whole movie, we are supposed to understand that Paris would do anything, even condemn his city to burn and his brother to die, in order to be with Helen. Helen, we are told, feels the same way (not that she is ever seen “feeling” anything). and then at the end, when the Greeks are sacking Troy, Paris goes, “okay, go, I’m going to stay here with my father.”

what?

and then Paris never even finds his father (dead already at that point, natch), he just flees at a slightly later point in the movie, with Briseis.

what?

Listen, you can have Paris have misgivings about his total commitment to Helen, you can allow doubt to creep in as the fortunes of war turn against them and his filial piety is reignited. that’s also an interesting conflict you could add to Paris & Helen’s relationship. but you didn’t do that. you’ve had TWO HOURS to show me Paris having second thoughts about any of this - to have him actually say, “you know what, my attachment to Helen is tearing apart my family and threatening my city, maybe I made a mistake” - and he never does. 

and then, in the last five minutes of the movie, when Helen actually does need him because they’re fleeing into the fucking wilderness? NOW it’s “what about my duty as a son?”

and then they don’t even give him the closure of letting him find his father’s body! for fuck’s sake! if you’re going to have him suddenly abandon Helen in order to protect his father, give him that moment! let him feel remorse! let him cradle Peter O’Toole in his arms and curse himself and his ruinous love!

no instead we get another fucking shot of Achilles running around the streets of Troy yelling “Briseis! Briseis? Briseis!” every time he spots a brunette.

god, there’s so much wrong with Achilles in this movie that it’s distracting me from everything that’s wrong with Paris and Helen. Paris and Helen doesn’t work in Troy, next

#this is a troy blog

[kate-likes-this]

Pedro for Solar (02-21/17)

Interviewer: Igor Ramírez-García Peralta • Photographer: Stefan Ruiz Related: photoshoot / list of articles / en español 🇪🇸 

Pedro Pascal belongs to a refreshing type of Hollywood stars, who is well educated while remains unpretentious and free from any level of insufferable diva attitude. He understands very well going against his nature will drift him away from his goals. Success came relatively late, at 38, with his breakthrough role by polysexual Oberyn Martell, in the fourth season of "Game of Thrones."

It is clear to me that Pedro is at his best. In the next few months there will be three premieres he’s been linked to: “The Great Wall”, directed by Zhang Yimou, in which he shares credits with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe; the Kingsman sequel, co-starring Julianne Moore, Channing Tatum, Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges and Colin Firth; and finally, the highly anticipated third season of Narcos, the series in which he plays agent Javier Peña, which has given him the same number of fans, at least, as the character of Martell. 

Between his overseas filming, photo sessions and visiting his family in Chile, a mutual friend put us in touch. One of the countless voice messages that we exchanged to coordinate the interview, breakfast, photo shoot, dinner and drink contest between Colombia, London and Manhattan he said: “Welcome to ... [dramatic pause] Colombia”. I arrived at the Narcos set in downtown Bogotá on Thanksgiving Day. His two American colleagues (Eric Lange and Brett Cullen) were desperate with the elasticity of the South American minutes in a day that seemed to have no end, while a DEA agent - a real one - was waiting for them at home with a lot of turkey, whiskey, American football - a good portion of testosterone. Meanwhile, Lucas - Pedro's younger brother, who will have a small role in the next installment of the series - and I amused ourselves by breaking the mythical folding chairs with the protagonists’ name of the series. 

Interviewing and photographing Pedro has been a luxury that rarely occurs in journalism. A process of months, but continuous, in different contexts and in stages that has allowed me to know him much more than I can normally know who we put onto our covers. At the whims of fate, in addition to Lucas, I also met his sister, in Miami, and it turns out that Francisco Celhay, the other Chilean actor we include in this issue, is his first cousin. From what escapes from the talk that we transcribe below, I can add that Pedro does not have any food allergies, but that, since he was 20 years old, he knows that he is allergic to cocaine; that his animal spirit is Tigger, the companion of Winnie the Pooh; that he claims not to be handsome — someone told him that he looked like Orlando Bloom after being slapped in the face — and that, from time to time, he remembers a dog, with a bitten ear, that usually visits the set in Cali, and stands outside his trailer. Pedro: we beg you, adopt it.

Narcos adds salt to wounds that are still very open in Colombia. The history of Escobar and the cartels of Medellín and Cali is very recent. How do you digest this and what has it meant for your role?

It is quite complex. On one hand, it is understood that Colombians are tired of the subject. I had already been in Colombia before coming to shoot Narcos. I know the country, its people, its land, its politics and culture far beyond that topic and I find it unfortunate that the rest of the world necessarily associates narco-culture with this country. We most of the times film on location, and every time someone comes up to ask what we are doing, the reaction to knowing that it is Narcos is always the same: disenchantment. However, I think it is interesting that a series like this, with a worldwide audience, shows its shaping power. Colombia has a very complex, beautiful, cinematic texture. People and culture are reflected in their land and we have managed to capture that visually; in fact, I think this is one of the central elements of the plot; sometimes even more important than dramatic and violent events. The locations where we film add dimension to the story and make it all seem so much more real. There are Mexicans, Spanish, and Brazilians playing Colombians, yet together we are able to represent the people who were involved directly, or unwillingly in the events, and understanding them allow us to tell much more than what the audience might expect. That is why, I think, we have been so successful, not only because of the sensationalism, violence, darkness and sexuality of the history of Colombian drug trafficking. 

Did you imagine that you would stay until season three?

Honestly, no. I knew I was going to participate in two seasons, regardless of the success of the first. They had a script for Escobar that lasted two seasons and my role, Agent Peña, was part of both. After the success of the first, I knew that the series was going to continue. After all, the plot was never intended to focus exclusively on Escobar, but also on the history, politics, and reality of drug trafficking. But what I didn't know, and I really didn't expect, was that I was going to be in the third season. Out of the characters around Escobar, I thought he would be the last person to be invited back.

Neiflix has changed the way television series are produced, distributed and consumed. What do you think about it?

It's amazing, the whole industry changed in five years. Okay, actually in one. They started with the success of House of Cards, which was not even the first series - it was another that nobody knows called Lilyhammer. The year that we started Narcos, they are going to do, I think, twelve original productions. Now I have lost count… And I confess that I am a victim of what they do, because I see everything. I know it sounds absurd but, compared to what is happening in the politics of the western world right now, where everything is so bleak, disappointing and alarmingly retrograde, television is progressing in terms of themes, culture, representation of diversity and the risks that are assumed with the stories that are narrated.

Do you prefer to work in cinema, television or theater?

For me, the ideal is to work in the three media, as all my colleagues do. I moved to New York when I was 18 to study, and I swear, I almost gave up trying to get roles in off-Broadway productions. My friends were actors who mainly did theater, but also television and cinema, some with more success than others, obviously, but in our community we understood that it was time to do everything. I think television is the most arduous medium because of schedules. A colleague who worked with Holly Hunter on her first television series, after a very successful career in film and theater, told me that she had said to him, "Television isn't for pussies". It is curious that she has affirmed that, after having split her back all her life working as an actress, but it is true. The hours are very intense, the days are endless ... In this sense, Narcos is a peculiar challenge, because, in a way, it is invented as we go along. It depends a lot on the locations - and these are unpredictable - but, at the same time, we have a script that must be respected. To summarize, I would say that I do not prefer a specific medium. Television is the heaviest; Theater is the most familiar experience for me, and cinema supposes, in a certain way, the dismantling of a children's fantasy, because it is truly the least glamorous experience you can have. At least in what I have had to live. You are in a 150 million dollar production, but sitting in the mud, in an absolute plague and surrounded by flies.

Do you own characteristics of your characters?

I've been acting for twenty years and I'm still not sure. It takes me a while to realize how a project or role could have affected me. It is true that, sometimes, I have dreamed things that confirmed to me that the paper had gotten too much inside. Other times I can't sleep or I'm in a bad mood, but I forget that I've been investigating very violent stories and playing dark scenes. And it's ridiculous, but instead of associating that with not being able to sleep, having a jaw tense and feeling uncomfortable, what I think is that maybe I am lactose intolerant or that I have an allergy and that I shouldn't have eaten that pizza… I'm already too used to this and it just feels like work. To be honest, I find it very difficult to understand the actors whose walls filled with photos and clippings, and do not stop talking about the research they have done to create their character. On the other hand, instinctively, I don't want to talk much about it. I have never felt comfortable talking about my character and his story. Obviously, I think about it, but I don't talk much, I don't know whether to preserve a method that works for me or simply because I'm fucking lazy. 

You work a lot in locations: China, Colombia, Croatia ... And for very long seasons. What about your private life?

What about my private life? Simple answer: I do not have. My life is work and tourism. It is strange to have this type of adventure being an adult. As a child I fantasized about working in the cinema and after surviving the inevitable broken heart that comes with maturity, being alive and, above all, wanting to be an actor, it is still ironic and funny to achieve your childhood dream at 40. You miss your house, your bed, your friends, your comforts and the routine, but it is interesting that all that is interrupted, and more at this age, because I think I can absorb the experience with much more perspective and maturity.

How was your experience in China filming The Great Wall?

I loved it. I had never set foot in China until I stood there for five months to work with one of my favorite directors [Zhang Yimou], whom I never even imagined crossing paths with. And next to fucking Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe! Matt, frankly, is one of the best people I've ever met; Not from the best famous people I've ever met, but from the best people and that's it. He was there with his family, with his wife - who is even better than him - and his children. On the other hand, I have seen all the Dafoe films since I was a child, so it was a privilege that they served me on a silver platter, although, at the same time, very hard work, because it is a complicated film, also shot in locations.

And in London, for the Kingsman sequel?

I had already been to London many times, but always on short trips, and suddenly, I had to stay four months. I had always fantasized about living there, and it exceeded all my expectations. I was there when the Brexit referendum was voted and the atmosphere in the city changed from one day to the next. It was scary and sad. It broke my heart to see so many people in shock, without understanding a result that no one could have predicted. Even with this, I was able to immerse myself, as an outsider, in the culture of a city that for me is extremely progressive and multicultural, inclusive and wild; a little dark but friendly. 

The concept of the previous issue of Solar was "Respect your idols!", A kind of vote in favor of not losing emotion when meeting them and remembering what they have meant to you; Don't let the fan die inside of you, regardless of how close your childhood idols can become as you enter the industry. How has this been for you?

It's funny that you ask, because I'm still a big fan. I think this characterizes me as much as my work. In addition to being an actor, I am a spectator. I associate it with being a Chilean immigrant in the United States, with how young my parents were and how unstable their life was when I was born and how pop-culture, film and cable television socialized us and, in a way, they educated my sister and me. Later it turned out that a fantasy became a hobby that, in turn, became my profession. Come on, I do not hide being a fan. Kingsman was a particularly interesting experience, because it was a fucking circus with fabulous movie stars: Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Colin Firth, Channing Tatum and Taron Egerton, who, despite being new to the industry, is a fucking love. It's all a bit overwhelming and scary, but I think the little fan inside me is so dominant that I managed to overcome the fear of working with them. I have to say that I managed to contain myself, but until we finished filming. As soon as they released Halle Berry, I tearfully told her that I had seen Jungle Fever, that it fascinates me, that her character in Monster’s Ball killed me and that I cried when she won the Oscar. I did the same to Julianne Moore and everyone else, until they got fed up.

I know you are a good boy. I feel it, I see it in you, in your family and in how you relate to the people around you. Have you always been like this?

I can't even imagine what my parents had to go through when they escaped from Chile and that has left me an inheritance of guilt that, perhaps, has determined the way in which my brothers and I navigated the world. We've also had very tragic losses in my family, and that helps you focus on what's really important and how you should treat people. I don't know what I believe in. I am completely agnostic and the idea of ​​a god seems silly to me. I do not mean that spirituality is alien to me, but I have not developed any link with that concept either, but I do know that the most valuable thing is to be a good person. Deep down, I think that's a lot more important than being famous, powerful or such. I can't take all that shit to my grave. But I have not always been like this. When I was 12 years old, we were already enjoying a very privileged situation and, compared to others, I was quite a spoiled boy. Then all that was over, and I had to learn the hard way in New York. Maybe if things had continued to be as easy as when I was in high school, I would be a douche now. Maybe the combination of genes, the education my parents gave us, and the fact that I broke my ass for more than fifteen years in New York that shapes you and also teaches you how you should behave.

You spent almost twenty years auditioning. What motivated you to continue, and not to give up?

I didn't know how to do anything else. There really does come a time, especially when you are a movie and theater nerd, where it becomes part of your identity. In the end, training, practicing and fighting ends up becoming an everyday thing and stop feeling like the big challenge. In fact, changing was what scared me. I think I definitely accepted the possibility of being the typical actor who is always fighting, until the day he could no longer go upstairs to audition, because, as I said, I did not know how to do anything else, and was too lazy to learn. And well, I also had the unfounded hope that I could do it. And luck, I'm very lucky. As screwed up as the times were, there was always something: a job, a theater play, an experience, a royalty check for an episode of Buffy, vampire slayer - which paid half of the rent - or a play outside of Boston. Every time it seemed like I wasn't going to make it through the month financially or emotionally, something came up at the last minute that kept me afloat and allowed me to keep going.

#Pedro Pascal #2017 #pp article

[aces-to-apples]

Worst AU prompt: Dragon Age: Origins. AU where everyone meets doing a reality TV show where they all live in a house together.

i wrote a whole response after misreading the ask (because it's been A Whole Day) so i missed that you specified REALITY tv which would ALSO be very funny because lbr not a whole lot of interpersonal stuff would change but i honestly don't know much about reality tv and also don't want to write a second response when i gotta go to bed in like ten minutes

Mistake response to "dragon age but it's a tv show" au under the cut:

Gen i think we have vastly different ideas of what the word "worst" means because lmao that sounds hilarious does anyone remember that old "the blood gulch chronicles was a tv show and project freelancer was its prequel spin-off" post? No? Probably for the best lbr

Well first thing's first morrigan and alistair are actually best friends a la lena headey and peter dinklage, Alistair was a child star on thedosian disney channel and morrigan has no professional acting experience but Alistair tricked her into auditioning and was fucking thrilled when she got the part. Cailan is alistair's also non-actor younger brother whom he convinced to come over to the set and put on this stupid armor and play the king real quick because the original actor didn't show up and everyone's freaking out. They of course look notably similar so alistair's character, who was in fact supposed to be eamon's bastard, was quickly rewritten to be maric's.

I'm thinking flemeth is a world-renowned stage actress that kind of nobody can believe they actually got on dragon age (because it's a dinky little syfy show that everyone really expected to die after the first season but instead became a cult classic almost immediately) and she takes morrigan under her wing while they work together and form a lifelong friendship/mentorship.

Whoever the warden is, their race origin counterpart is their stunt double that they become great friends with over the course of shootijg (brosca and aeducan, tabris and mahariel, cousland and amell) and all the other possible wardens are other crew members.

Zevran was supposed to be a one-off baby antagonist that the warden kills at the end of the interrogation scene (possibly as a sign that they're becoming Darker and Edgier or something) but the second Zev got cast the writers looked at him and said "christ we can't waste this guy just by killing him" and quickly wrote him into the companions; a lot of his background behavior is a cross between orlando bloom's "no one told me what's happening in the scene" legolas and ryan reynolds' "all the writers are striking so i have to write my own character's dialogue" wolverine origins deadpool. He is, of course, a fan favorite and a heartthrob that gossip rags have reported as being involved with every member of the cast at least twice.

Sten's love of cookies is real and the rest of the cast kept ad-libbing jokes about it during takes so it just became canon for his character; he was originally a stunt guy too but then the original actor for the character dropped out first day of shooting so sten just stepped up to the plate.

Leliana is an atheist but takes inspiration for her character's faith from a very devout older woman she's been friends with since she was a teen.

Wynne is also a very experienced stage actor but nobody's surprised that she ended up on dragon age because that's like Her Thing. The only tv/movies she does are cheesy sci-fi and fantasy flicks because she thinks they're fun and relaxing.

Oghren has like three different degrees and is an actual trained fencer and likes his character because he barely has any written lines and gets to just make up inappropriate shit on the spot. He gets into debates with the writer/director about his character's background and motivation and when it's appropriate vs. inappropriate for his character to actually be serious about things.

The writer/director is a former popstar known in her youth as Andraste and the studio making dragon age is called Maker Studios.

#ask meme #answered asks #by apples #*scrubs face* listen yesterday and today have been a Trial and also i have Dumb Bitch Disease #dragon age: origins #da au #modern au #sort of? #general-sleepy

[whumpyinside]

A few little whumpy things I like:

UPDATED! But the new ones are mixed in with the rest. 💚💚💚thanks so much for the love!

Flinching away

Defiant silence, while the Whumper interrogates them/taunts them: angering them

Jerking their head back to get away from Whumper’s touch

Hand tremors

Whumper pins the Whumpee down, straddles their hips/back- Whumpee doesn’t know their intentions

Mouth/ lip trembling

Whipping (think Orlando Bloom in Dead Man’s Chest) NOT IF THE CHARACTER IS BLACK

Backing away on their knees, like into a corner

Wide eyes, focused on Whumper

Jaw clenching/ flexing

Whumper unexpectedly lashing out at the Whumpee, startling them more

A whumpee roughly being pulled up by their hair, to their knees.

Hands bound behind the back, not front

Roughly grabbed by the hair, whether for attention, or to slam Whumpee’s face down

Defiant, but fear in their eyes

Grab from behind, restrain, and put a hand over Whumpee’s mouth to stop them from crying out

Tip of a knife under the chin, to force the Whumpee’s head up

Whumpee is told to strip down in front of the whumper/ the whumper cuts their shirt off, for whatever reason.

A kick to the back of the leg, so Whumpee falls to their knees roughly- bonus points if they’re pushed down to their stomach, and the Whumper has their foot on the Whumpee’s back, holding them down

Whumpee kneeling, with a gun to the back of their head

Whumpee being slammed against a wall, arms twisted behind their back, and the whumper leans against them, whispering threats, etc into the Whumpee’s ear.

#whump blog #male whump #cinnamon roll whump #i love whump #whump tropes #prodigal son #malcolm bright whump #malcolm bright #my gifs #please credit if you repost #these are a few of my favorite things #whumpy thoughts #whumpy things #whump fanfiction #whumpy inside #forced to kneel #get on your knees #hand over mouth #hair grabbing

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

#journal shit