#toddlers are the worst

[oldmannapping]

Bruce Wayne knew what he was doing when he only adopted kids over the age of nine.

If I was Roy Harper or Wally West, juggling being a vigilante with nighttime feeds, toilet training, sleep regressions, and toddler tantrums, I’d be so fucking salty at Batman. I’d make him change all the diapers on Bring Your Kids To Work day.

Disclaimer: I’m currently celebrating the holidays with family including two toddlers who I love very much but who do NOTHING BUT SCREAM and seem to be allergic to sleep. This post might be biased against toddlers.

#Bruce Wayne is a dad #batman #roy harper #lian harper #wally west #wally west is a good dad #Roy Harper is a good dad #toddlers are the worst #at least the toddlers currently in my house #I’m sure some toddlers are fine

[puppetmaster13u]

Meme Prompt 2

Thinkin of feral halfa Jason again. No surprise there.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #halfa jason #de aged danny #alongside the entire class #GIW were doing experiments with the more ecto contaminated of the amity parkers #And experimenting with how cores are formed in hopes of learning how to permanently destroy them #They just chose the worst place to set up their labs thanks to there being a new reaper-class ecto-being settling down there #Does this count as mpreg lol #Technically he's just carrying the cores until they can reform bodies even if they're lil babies now #Well their bodies are toddlers they still have their minds for the most part #I imagine this takes place before anything like the Titans Tower or just after the heads in a duffel bag #On one hand he's not thought to be gunning after robin #on the other he's a very territorial brooding halfa with no one explaining to him why he's so aggressive to intruders #he stress bakes and cooks a lot which the children of crime alley and people are chill with #free food after all #Crime Alley seeing Hood's glowing green eyes: We've connected the dots #Jason with his several toddlers with teh same glowing eyes: You haven't connected shit #Crime Alley already researching supernatural and alien creatures: We've connected them #jason todd #crime alley #goonion #danny fenton #jazz fenton #dan fenton #ellie fenton #valerie gray #tucker foley #sam manson

[mea-trinitas-profana]

being a single father is difficult

#something silly while i work on something serious again #listen. if father garcia and michael by word of god can have a “twisted father/son dynamic” i think gary and amy can be father and daughter #in like the worst way possible #i did not finish hannibal and i dont plan to but like. theyre hannibal and abigail (?) to me #anyway. ramble over #my stuff #faith the unholy trinity #faith game #faith airdorf #ftut #amy martin #gary miller #michael davies #redraw of that one toddler leash image

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Masterpost

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #worst outfit on the marcille tournament #toddler 2 #baby 1 #marcille donato

[mokeonn]

yeah tell us about sean the ugly baby

okay so,

back in february I got bored and wanted to draw a character of mine from an rp group, but I didn't have any ideas. So I simply put him into the sims and drew what happened and posted it to the group. I chose Sims 2 for the variety, and went in. Making a 2000's version of my oc, Frankie, to do silly things for me to draw and my friends to giggle at:

And it was silly and fun! But during this, he ended up getting abducted by aliens, which was absolutely hilarious at the time.

However, in the sims series, there's an odd little thing that happens. Male sims that were abducted by aliens have a chance to come back pregnant. Well in the Sims 2: male sims were guaranteed to come back pregnant, only in later expansions did they introduce the possibility of it not happening.

So he got pregnant. whatever, just a bunch of mpreg jokes. Right? Well it turns out there's a small chance that Alien babies end up with their human parent's eyes! Which wouldn't be so bad with the base eyes, but I happen to use custom content.

So I was expecting this:

and I got this:

which was SO HORRIFYING and not what I was expecting. It took all my willpower to not name this baby something mean like "Beebo the Ugly child". So I named him Sean. Because that was the first non-mean name I could think of.

Of course, my character loved and cared for him. After all, he was a kind person who would love his mpreg baby no matter how ugly he was.

I however, did not.

I hoped that he might just be an ugly baby, and that he'll grow out of it as he gets older.

He did not.

he got UGLIER.

This horrifying Benjamin Button ass space creation haunted my home for 4 sim days. We prayed once again, that he was simply an ugly duckling. That he was simply going to grow into more age-appropriate features.

Sean once again, disappointed me.

It was torture having to care for a sim I hated so much, but couldn't be cruel to because it was simply out of character for my ocs to hate him. Sean got treated with the utmost kindness. He got everything a child could hope for.

Didn't stop me from making jokes though.

#simon says #ask #sims 2 #art #my art #ocs #I hope you guys find this as funny as I do #I worry that the rp lore and context is too heavily intertwined with this but also I think Sean's ugliness is universal #And my hatred for this child knows no bounds #I still think the toddler stage was the worst #he fucking looked like spock but specifically the old man version and specifically if spock had shrek for a father #I don't plan on playing the household anymore but if I ever did I would absolutely keep giving Sean a good life despite how I hate him #he deserves a good life and it is my duty to give it to him despite the fact that he keeps giving me the blue eyed stare

[foxgloveinspace]

You: why don’t the guys go bother ii all that much 🥺

Me: have you ever been hit in the face full force with a drum stick cause you came up behind someone who is drumming???

#I have by a toddler and it was the fucking worst. I don’t wanna know what it’s like from a full grown human #very much so #sleep token #if anyone makes ‘ii is the same size as a toddler’ jokes in my tags I’m coming for your knee caps (me 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 ii: short kings)

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippets: Free Day Thursday- Viper

Following the prompt from the poll: Haven finds out Jak isn't there for them. We pick up right after the boys fight Veger's robot in the mines and come up at the edge of New Haven.

"This place looks as bad as my old bedroom back home," Daxter scoffed. His keen eyes darted this way and that, looking for any sign of their fugitive.

"Jak! Over here!"

Jak tensed at Samos’s voice. He didn't sound surprised to see them. Onin might have warned him he was coming. Onin...she would be a problem if not dealt with. He'd have to consult with Damas about her.

When Samos called him again, sounding less sure of himself, Jak realized he hadn't reacted at all. Samos doubtless expected him to leap to attend him, as he had been thoroughly trained to do.

Did he want to blow his cover?

Hm. No. Not yet.

Jak turned on his heel and for a moment his heart leaped.

"Keira!"

Samos was forgotten as he rushed towards a shimmering wall that divided the waterfront from New Haven. A force field? Since when did Haven have force fields?! Jak made a note of it. Damas wanted reports; he was a captain now. He had power. That meant he needed to do things right.

"Jak!" Keira's entire face lit up. "I told you, Daddy. I told you I could feel his energy!"

She slapped her hand against the force field, ignoring the sting.

"You're alive-! Jak, I'm so sorry! I- I tried to get into the trial, they wouldn't let me in the building-! Or, or Tess, or Sig! They arrested us when we tried, didn't let us go until they'd taken you away!"

A warm glow spread through Jak's chest. Someone had fought for him. Keira had fought for him! And Tess, and Sig! In a city of vipers, he still had true friends.

Jak placed his own hand on the energy field, feeling the dull burn of its eco as he spread out his fingers over Keira's.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I don't blame you three. Not for any of it. Not for anything. I...I missed you."

Keira sniffled. "I missed you, too," she croaked, "What's it like out there? They say it's...it's nothing! That there's no way to survive! But you look-"

She cut herself off and blushed.

"What's really out there?"

Jak looked up at Daxter and smiled. Daxter nodded back. He didn't know what Jak was going to say, exactly. He'd never been a talker -- he'd really really never been a talker -- but Daxter had seen how proud of their new home Jak got. He couldn't help wanting to know what the big lug would say. Would he talk about the beach he loved so much? About Damas?

To his surprise, Jak only stared earnestly at Keira and whispered back, "Freedom."

Keira closed her eyes. "Freedom," she sighed. "I...thought I had that. Not so sure, now."

"That's why I came back."

Jak took a more guarded posture, casting his eyes about.

"I can help you. But I need your help, too."

Daxter opened the little communicator they'd stolen from the dead metalheads and retrofitted into a small holoprojector. The face of Thrax rotated above the plate, tattooed and scowling.

"You seen this guy?" he asked, waving the holo, "Name's Thrax. Real disreputable character."

Samos blinked at them in shock. "Jak, please, there isn't time! The passages under the palace, they must be terribly important!"

Jak spoke over him, raising his voice slightly. "He's a fugitive from justice. Wanted for treason. I'm under orders to bring him back, dead or alive."

"Under orders?"

Keira's face twisted with concern.

"Whose orders? Ashelin's?"

Daxter scoffed and slid down to sit more comfortably on Jak’s shoulder.

"As if! We have new friends. And they respect us! Heck, they actually like us!"

"And we respect them," Jak added, "So people trying to murder the man who saved my life don't get to walk away. Not from me."

Keira's jaw was tight. They both knew how she felt about him killing hu'men. One day, maybe she would let herself understand that it was no different from the enthralled Lurkers her father had sent Jak to kill when he was far, far too young to have blood on his hands. One day she would have to turn around and face that truth head-on. But Jak was beginning to understand at last that as long as Samos kept her within reach, it would be hard for her to slip the blinders off. It had taken exile for him to be free of his.

"I'll...I'll keep an eye out, and let you know if I see anyone like that." Keira swallowed hard. "It's been...I've been trying to get Veger's shield walls down. He cut Torn off from the city council hall, trapped him down on the waterfront. I think it's-"

Her voice trailed off, then, almost too quietly to hear,

"It's like...divide and conquer."

Anger hissed between Jak's teeth. "Of course it was Veger. He's had his hand in everything, hasn't he?"

He slammed his fist into the force field.

"He's the one who blew up the palace! Five hundred people dead, and for what?! So he could get to some catacombs underneath?!"

"And," Daxter said grimly, "so he could get the guy descended from the last ruler out of here. That guy is high on delusions of grandeur. Real heroes throw him off his groove."

"Catacombs?" Samos broke in, finally seeing a gap in the conversation that he could wedge himself into, "There must be something important down there for him to go to such lengths! Well, you're just going to have to find whatever it is before he does!"

"Oh I am, am I?" Jak asked.

Somehow Samos failed to hear the edge of danger in the boy's voice. He prattled on, patronizing as ever.

"Now, first you'll need to find another way into this section of the city. Take the sewers into the Port, then find a way north to reach us."

When the boys stayed still, looking at him through half-lidded eyes, it finally seemed to occur to the old man that he couldn't just give orders and expect them to be followed blindly anymore. With a touch of chagrin, he added, "And Jak...we're...sorry, for what happened. We should have stopped Veger."

"Yes." Jak turned his back. "You should have. Maybe you wouldn't have war on your doorstep if you'd acted."

"War?" Samos questioned, "With the metalheads?"

Daxter rolled his eyes. "Stumpy-boy, metalheads are about to be the least of your worries."

Jak took a few steps back, eyeing the buildings around him. Then he nodded to himself, got a running start, and launched up the side of the nearest row house.

Winds bless the guy in the youth barracks who'd taken the time to teach him free-running.

In no time at all he was on the roof with only a slight straining in his muscles to show for it. The shield wall only extended about a storey above them. Fair enough, they'd just have to follow the roofs to a higher building and cross from there.

Daxter flipped his goggles down over his eyes and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he scanned New Haven.

Pah. "New Haven". More like New Main Town. All he saw were the rich elite who had survived Veger dropping the palace on their high class district. Where were all the former inhabitants of the North Slum and Water Slum? Shoved into the ruined Main Town or crowded into the waterfront, he had no doubt.

"By the forges, I really hate this place," Jak whispered beside him.

"I don't blame ya, pal," said Daxter grimly. "Not even a little bit. C'mon, let's find Tess. If anyone knows how to find our guy, it's her."

Thrax could run. But there were only so many places he could hide.

Part Two planned for tomorrow

#fic prompts #writing prompts #jak and daxter #jak and daxter au #free day thursday #background dadmas #Keira Hagai #keira gets some of Samos’s lines because she deserves them more #every time i wonder if I'm just Samos bashing i watch the cutscenes #and then i realize that no I'm being rather charitable to the moldy stump #samos hagai #samos is the worst #viper au #jak has power and authority for the first time in his life and he's so determined to use them correctly #he's going to send damas a six page report full of literally every observation he can think of including what the shops are selling #damas thinks its adorable and keeps it in a drawer with a form Mar scribbled on as a toddler #Jak is here to recruit allies and LARP some Assassin's Creed

[furiousgoldfish]

me: going about my business

my brain: yeah but what would those piece of shit abusers think about you right now?? what would they judge you for? what kind of flaw would they point out?? would they approve anything about you?? how about you think about THAT for the next hour???

#its like being worried what the worst people on earth might think if they saw you #like who even cares their sins outnumber yours by millions #their opinions are worse than worthless they're self serving and manipulative and controlling #not to mention biased stupid unsourced bigoted shallow and incorrect #i should be thrilled they would think low of me #and yet my brain is like 'BUT WOULD THEY LIKE ME NOW???' #of course they wouldn't #they didn't like you when you were a toddler and they wont like you until the day they die lol #we don't need to be liked by monsters #we need to stay away from them #ugh #growing up around this kind of scrutiny really does a number on the brain

[24bughours]

I really love toriel

#she and papyrus have it the worst in fanon methinks #theyre so misunderstood #undertale #undertale fanart #undertale art #toriel #toriel dreemurr #frisk #frisk undertale #frisk dreemurr #i CANNOT draw frisk. how am i supposed to stylize a yellow toddler?? should i just not?? #just draw them exactly like base game frisk

[skibasyndrome]

I have the willpower of a TODDLER

#no offense to toddlers but uh....... the amount of times I grab my phone to check tumblr or ao3 when I should really actually be working.... #clown behavior on my part #if you happen to see me on here in the next few hours pls yell at me #the worst part is I need my laptop to work so even if I put my phone on lockdown somewhere else I still have The Internet (TM) #blocking sites only works until I can sidestep that with a few clicks because I am IMPOSSIBLE #I'm only half joking when I say I need like an electric shock collar that keeps me from seeking my serotonin websites #anyways this is mostly for me to take accountability and shame myself a little in hopes of it working out for me lol #simon.out. #I really need to uh..... get this checked out some day #“this” being my brain or me or whatever

[lemonsharks]

Among other things, I hate that the only two options are "dieting cult" and "if you so much as insinuate that you would like to not be winded after taking a five minute fucking shower you are supreme traitor to the other fatties cult"

#i also loathe myself and every decision ive ever made #how's today going? NOT FUCKING GREAT #i hate health at every size MORE #because at least I know where I stand with the people who are so disgusted by fatness that looking like me is their worst nightmare #HAES isn't EVERY size #it's 'learn to love being fat or stfu and gtfo' #I've hated my body since I was a fucking toddler #i want to be a size 12 and wear a medium and be a little bit squishy and feel attractive #and this is just a sliver of all the things I hate about myself and my life right now #arguably it's the least important #I'm so tired and I'm so lonely

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 268

Fright Knight sighs, running a clawed hand through his hair in an attempt to stop the flames from flickering into being. It had been far too long since he had taken a human-ish form. His human-ish form. Ugh. He didn’t exactly care for his human form after so long as a ghost, but needs must he supposed. 

Especially with the whole, we’re going to punch a backdoor into the literal daycare part of the Infinite Realms and be surprised when literal toddlers go exploring. 

Well, at least it got him off of guard duty for a bit, which was relieving. Not that he didn’t love the darkness, but it got boring in the shadow of his sword for literal centuries with nothing else happening. He was a warrior for Realm’s sake! Borderline an Ancient in both power and age! He wasn’t meant to stay so still for so long. 

So while ghostling wrangling wasn’t exactly in his area of expertise, he could definitely gather them back up to the Realms. And deal with the curs who had decided to attack literal babies. 

The Daycare area was already understaffed due to just how large it was, and the one in charge of this section had practically sobbed to the Council (In another world they would have been put on hold for a century in line for their concerns, and then more once a Sarcophagus was opened, but they had told the other ghosts in distress, causing others to let them go up in said line) how they were almost certain they had felt at least one core form Outside the realms thanks to the breach. 

Which had understandably put everyone at an uproar. 

So here he was slipping between shadows to do reconnaissance and take stock of if any Ghostlings had left the city. And gently scruffing those he comes across in exasperation because what are you doing, ghostling? Look at the mess, what would your caretaker say? 

#Danny Phantom #Prompts #Fright Knight #Shadow Core Fright Knight #Space Core Danny #Very fae-elf vibes for FK’s human-ish form #POV you’re an Amity Parker & this Tank of a man (being?) appears & grabs the ghost & scolds them like a child #Yes this includes Phantom #FK: Where is your caretaker ghostling? #Phantom (ready to fight & very wrong-footed now): My what #FK: #FK: oh no Sir Yaya was right this ghostling is newly formed- #Ghost Hunters: *Shooting* #FK with an armful of ghostlings: Were it not for the presence of literal infants I would kill you where you stand & #trap you in your worst nightmare for eternity while your body decays around you #Let FK have glowy tattoos i beg of thee #FK returning to the Zone to find another toddler (Vlad) that also formed Outside & also sickly at the Keep: I am going to scream #Accidental Dad Knight #More like the preschool teacher gathering up everyone from a field trip lol #Nightmare has bags on her side to carry the ghostlings in but several won't let go of FK now that they've been shot at again #Kerian “Rian” Fright Knighte: *So close to fighting the humans even with the Rules*

[defiledtomb]

Being tipsy on gin lemonade on a sunday literally just feels like this

#im in the didion trenches and ALSO pivoting into vacation but ALSO feeling kinda bad generally but ALSO it ain't half bad honey #the edits have been so revealing: both of the best and the worst parts are so stark and i know there is a mountain of work still here for me #but. buuuuut. #the summer and her sounds her scent her glow wrap around me like a familiar hug #there are things to see and dog-eared books to leave behind #i feel like a toddler on the dwindling high of sugar and i just! need! a break! now. now. now now. but i get it soon. #until then i will steal it (and feel a bit queasy about it) #internal compass WACK. need to recalibrate

[diveyne]

oomfies is it just me or like. as the older you get. the less you want. younger people. around you. LMAO. like sjbkdcjksbd

anyway what y'all havin for dinner... i just cooked mapo tofu

#it's funny because my mom told me a story a long time ago how like #when i was a toddler even i never liked ppl younger than me kjBKSDJB #but now that i'm older it's just like #i'm old and exhausted you know skjbcks #my bones hurt my back hurts i just wanna write kjBJKSBCS #like anyways obviously this doesnt apply to ppl ive already known over the years but like #with all the fuss internet spaces have made over the years like #i'm less inclined to go out of my way or less willing to allow ppl into my space u know #skjcbkjsb #also like i think older millennials are just big babies. stares at the ffxiv community #i think the worst drama i've ever seen has come from ffxiv players KJBSDKCS #ooc. #tbd.

[orb-simp]

#time fcuk #time fcuk steven #super meat boy #dr fetus #ouroboros #top 10 worst therapy sessions of all time #soul of a toddler used as a salt lamp #orb's stuff

[zoobus]

The Bad Ending of an Otome

From time to time I've expressed a desire to explain otome isekai's appeal to me through a pastiche of my favorite writing pieces from tumblr, the Scorpion and the Frog. I still have not followed through, despite the fact that it should be literally the easiest thing in the world - the Villainess and Her World. Frustrating.

Anywho, today's scorpion/frog meta regards the jealous hater replacement heiress of a beautiful but terminally ill child in a dating sim.

The original game followed a girl who happened to look just like the now terminally dead Ophelia, who was previously alive and loved by all. The identical not-twin fills the Ophelia-shaped hole left in everyone's heart. The jealous hater replacement heiress (the villainess/frog, naturally) is quickly replaced and eventually killed for jealous hater maneuvers. Our main character (MC) of course reincarnates as the frog.

The first twist is a genre staple, could almost be considered the blueprint every story builds off of; rather than a specific, vindictive bitch... What if I was kind? What if I chose not to do anything that would make them want to kill me? What if I simply befriended the terminally ill Ophelia?

But like any good OI, the subversion takes it somewhere specific, someplace more personal. What if I befriended the terminally ill Ophelia...and still coveted everything she had? What if you're forced to realize it's actually pretty hard to not be a jealous hater when you're sitting side by side with someone effortlessly wealthier, prettier, more beloved than anything you'll ever experience? Especially when the beautiful dying Ophelia was honestly kind of a hateful bitch? And what if, despite all of this, you truly loved her? And that love didn't extinguish your overwhelming envy for what you could never have? This is an OI framing of what it's like to lose your best friend, the person no one else knew or loved like you did, to a slow, unstoppable terminal illness. It's a look at real friendship while harboring immense amounts of envy and hatred.

There's this tension with whether the MC really liked Ophelia, if she's saying "friend" or "love" out of habit rather than sincerity, whether Ophelia was just a bully using her wealth and power to manipulate someone she essentially owns, if her comment about dying with her are more about avoiding the the future or maybe placating a sick person, and nice little nuanced character things meant to keep you on your toes about the nature of their relationship. Area woman uncertain if she's being bullied or if this is girl bonding kind of stuff.

At times it would be logical to pity Ophelia, to despise her at others, even to take a certain amount of schadenfreude in this popular hot rich girl's pain. I liked the various ways the narrative muddied MC's perspective of Ophelia. She's an unpleasant, mean person that MC has to stick with whether she wants to or not.

I loved Ophelia. A lot.

Now of course they don't let this girl look terminally ill - this is a princess comic after all - but lmaooo do they let her act it. Ophelia is *Bitter* that she has to die. *Terrified* of the inevitable. *Seething* over the expectation that she suffer through future agonizing symptoms just so her family can see her longer. *Furious* at these lovesick horny men courting her like they don't know her days are numbered. "Oh I worship you Ophelia, nobody's made me feel this way before, no woman will ever measure up to you" she knows they only like her cause she's hot. Ophelia is so hostile, so spite-filled, so fucking mad that not only does she have to die young, these people who claim to love her are - in both overt and subtle ways - pressuring her to take her imminent death gracefully, quietly, and above all else, beautifully. Foisting dignity on this teenager who's going into her casket kicking and screaming. If Ophelia had a tumblr she'd spend her time browsing vent tags and sending suicide bait.

Her character is so good, I was unfairly irritated by her in-game replacement who hadn't done anything yet. You really get where Ophelia's at times excessive hatred for the male love interests was coming from because like...wow. You're going full yandere eternal prisoner bad end for her...? This innocent good girl lamb who wants the best for everyone? No matter how similar they look, the fact that she offers a kind word and a helping hand would break any TRUE Ophelia stan's immersion instantly. She would never.

Anyway. Stories centered on the friendship between girls that aren't overly saccharine or stilted displays positivity are sadly uncommon, but they're my favorite. Like not to be aro on main but I think what others get out of tales of romance is how I respond to tales of deep friendship between women. Asobi Asobase, Binbougami Ga, Nichijou, Surviving Romance, they all fulfill some base desire that no one else seems to cherish as strongly😢

When we finally get confirmation, I have to admit. I stared at this page for like three minutes, eyes wet.

Spoilers! She did love her. She loved her more than anyone.

#otome isekai #the bad ending to an Otome #recommendations #please note that I am above all else a serial incompletionist and wrote this review around 2 years ago on discord #not talking about the mls because words can't describe how much i don't care about them #especially what i have to believe it's the worst yandere ever written. like there's no way what yandere fans want is this tantrummy toddler