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#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop

gamergirl-niffler · 5 months

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Darling 💛 I get you usually ain't into emergency requests and all, but I could really use some headcanons for Wrio, Tartaglia, Neuvilette, and Itto. Their s/o is dealing with psychosis, specifically grappling with schizophrenia. I would love to get some comfort from them, hah..

Sweetie 💜 I know you are going through some tough time but remember that I am here to give you any kind of support I only can!

I hope you will like what I wrote for you 💜💜

☕ Wriothesley ☕

- Everyone in Fortress of Meropis is looking after you - Duke’s lovely assistant.

- When the world starts to change its shape and the Fortress doesn't look the same anymore, you stop recognizing people.

- Those aren't the residents anymore… They are shadows and they are after you, wanting to rip you apart. They want you dead.

- When this happens and you aren't near Wriothesley, there always is someone who will keep an eye on you while someone else is running to find the Duke.

- When Wriothesley reaches you, you are already trying to get away from whoever is holding you from fear of your life.

- The moment you see him, you run right into his arms. “They… T-They are after me, Wrio. They want to get me.”

- He hushes you and quickly picks you up. Wriothesley takes you to his office so you are away from everyone and everything.

- He of course makes you a cup of the tea that always calms you down.

- If you see things that scare you, don't you worry - your beloved Duke is there to keep you close, wrapped in his arms; his palm covering your eyes to not make you look at whatever is hunting you.

- Shadowy figures fill the room, your mind gets filled with too many bad voices to count, and all you can do is cry and beg for all of this to stop.

- “Shhh. You’re alright, Y/N. I’ll keep you safe. Even if I have to fight the dark shadows for you,” he assures you, patting your back. His voice is just a whisper.

- As scary as all of this is, Wriothesley’s voice is like a ray of light in the darkness. No matter what voices say you trust him.

- When the worst passes, the two of you enjoy some good tea, while talking. True, it's not the easiest since you can't focus because your thoughts are running wild but Wriothesley is patient with you.

- If he needs to repeat something even a hundred times, he’ll do it or he will simply continue your subject. Anything to make you feel better.

- Once everything fades away, he is there with his cocky smile.

- “I am sorry, Wriothesley… You need to deal with something that terrible,” you whisper, feeling ashamed of forcing him into dealing with someone like you.

- He just scoffs and hugs you tightly. “C'mon, no need to apologize. I love you and nothing will change that. I’ll do everything to help you.”

- He will forever keep an eye on your meds, making sure you take them. He will count them and write everything down in a little notebook to keep the track.

- If you have any treatment you need to attend, be sure he will join you. Wriothesley doesn't need to be there but he wants to, just so you can witness his support.

- Even Sigewinne checks on you. As a head nurse, she needs to be sure you are doing okay.

- Wriothesley will take you for walks on the surface, hoping that leaving the rough interiors of Fortress will make you feel better.

- He promises you to always be there. No matter how difficult and scary it may be, your Duke will be close to protect you.

💧 Neuvillette ⚖

- From his past experiences, Neuvillette is fully aware of how fragile the mind can be. No matter if it's the mind of a Melosine or of a human being.

- He saw his fair share of troubled people during his life but the illness eating you from the inside of your own mind really hurts him.

- Of course he doesn't treat you like a child. You are his beloved mate and he knows you're not handicapped or anything like this, you just have a bad moment.

- The Chief Justice is doing everything he can to ensure your safety when you are near him as well as when you are on your own.

- You are sitting at the cafe and enjoying some tea and sweet cake when Melosines pop out of nowhere, right next to your table. “Good morning! Are you feeling alright? Is there anything I can help you with? Hope you remembered your meds today.”

- Each Melosine you meet on your stroll through the Court of Fontain asks you how you feel and if any of them can help you. You know it was Neuvillette’s idea but you don't mind it. Little Melosines checking on you is really cute.

- One day you can’t shake off the feeling of someone watching you and whispering about you. Shadowy figures creep around and you only can see them with the corner of your eyes.

- Your panic only rises with each turn. All you want is to chase away the shadow creature but it is always gone. There was only one thing to do… RUN… run for your life to hide in your house. They can’t get you there, right? RIGHT!

- Of course your panic doesn’t go unnotice. One of the Melosines sees you pushing through people in a desperate attempt to get back to your home, and she immediately goes to report to Neuvillette.

- Neuvillette finds you inside your home - your place is a mess, looking as if you tried to secure yourself from the outside world.

- You are sitting among that mess, squeezed tightly in a corner of the room, curled into a small ball.

- The sight of you makes his heart shutter. Without even mentioning the mess he slowly approaches you, calling your name quietly. “My love, Y/N. I am here. What's wrong?”

- You shake your head, holding your knees close to yourself, not even looking at him. “I… I don't know. It just seems like there is something following me! I feel scared, I feel hopeless! I want it to end,” you explain and immediately burst into tears.

- Heavy rain starts to fall but Neuvillette keeps it together on the outside, all for your own comfort. “I can assure you that you are safe, my love. Will you allow me to maybe hold you?”

- You just nod your head and soon you’re wrapped in his embrace. Neuvillette doesn't speak, waiting for you to open up on your own and once you do he is listening to your every word. He provides words of comfort and small touches like wiping your tears and stroking your hair.

- He never judges you for what's happening to you since it's beyond your own control but as iudex and your mate he promises to always be there.

- No matter how you may feel about yourself and your illness, he will be there till the very end, helping and guarding you.

⚔ Tartaglia ⚔

- He doesn't really notice it at first. You are stressed, it's normal. Who isn't stressed? Of course he notices all the odd things about your behavior but doesn't take them as anything bad. Untill…

- One day he finds you wandering around your little hut, looking around like a lost child. You seem really lost as if you didn't recognize your own surroundings despite living there for years. Not to mention you’re bare foot and without a winter coat with all the snow and harsh cold around you.

- “Y/N! H-How are you?” He asked with a worried smile. You quickly cling onto him.

“Tartaglia! I am so happy to see you,” you say happily and hug him tightly. Of course he returns the hug yet it still feels off.

- “Why aren't you home? It's cold out here,” he says, cupping your red cheeks to warm them up a little.

- You blink, looking right up at him. “That's… My home?” you ask slowly and look over your shoulder.

- Tartaglia nods and slowly leads you inside, he doesn't want you to get sick or anything.

- When you look around the inside of the hut, your eyes still seem lost. It's like you aren't yourself even in slightlest.

- Tartaglia is trying to start the fire in the fireplace when suddenly you are on the floor, screaming and backing up until your back hits the wall.

“A-Ajax… be careful! There is a man behind you. He is going to kill you!” You scream. Your face is filled with true terror.

- He stands up straight and looks around the room but it's empty. There’s no one there but you and him. Hut is so small that no one could even hide. Yet you look serious, your fear isn't fake. You are seeing things that aren't here.

- He drops the wood and joins you on the floor. Tartaglia hugs you tightly, pressing your head to his shoulder like he would be trying to hide you from everything. “Don’t worry. No one is brave enough to go against me or someone I love,” he says quietly, stroking your hair and the back of your neck.

- The voice in your head is dangerous, and it keeps on talking about how terrible, good for nothing you are. All you can do is cry while nuzzling his shoulder. You feel tired of it, you don't know where you are and all the scary people just follow you, mocking you no matter where you go.

- Tartaglia finds it weird. You aren't his beloved and change is so sudden, you apparently don't recognize your own house and see things that aren't there, swing from happiness to panic in a second. Of course he is not going to leave your side. He could never abandon you in such a state. Tartaglia holds you the whole time, listening to your words even if they weren't true. He protects you from all the phantoms that hunt you. “It's okay, lovely. I am here, no one will put their hands on you when I am here and I am not leaving,” while whispering his hand gently strokes your back, providing comfort.

- Once you are calm enough, he carefully picks you up to move you to your warm bed. Tartaglia joins you there to show that you are really safe with him. He will listen to whatever you have to say, no matter how odd it may sound. You may spit nonsense and he will nod and talk with you about it.

- When the fatigue after an episode gets to you and you fall asleep, he wonders what he can do. At first he considers asking Dottore for help but the more he thinks about it, the more terrible the idea seems. He doesn't want to put you in danger.

- In the end, he sends a letter to a doctor from Liyue just to find out more about what's happening to you. Of course he takes his time to talk with you about what is happening to you.

- You may feel as ashamed but don't you worry! He is up for the challenge if it means helping you.

- He is stubborn and in love, so no matter what you are stuck with him.

👹 Itto 🎆

- He is basically clueless… Just at first of course!

- Shinobu and Granny Oni have lots of learning to do but since he is taking you seriously, he catches on pretty quickly.

- One day you don't show up on Inazuma’s treets, which worries him.

- You simply can't take it. People are whispering about you because of who you are dating and what you are doing with your life. They are always close, telling you all kinds of nasty things, calling you worthless, stupid, a waste of air.

- Suddenly, there is a knock on your door. “Um… Y/N? Are you there?”

- “Go away Itto! Just go away!” you yell at him, finding a safe place to hide from everything.

- You are home what makes him happy! But your yelling worried him. “C’mon, sweet cheeks! I brought some cool stuff that will make you happy! I promise,” Oni assures you and after a moment of silence he decides to walk in.

- You sit on your bed, wrapped in a blanket from head to toe as if you are trying to hide from him and the whole world. It breaks his heart.

- He puts all the stuff he brought onto the table for sitting next to you. “Hey… I know I can't do much but this big and strong Oni can try and hide you in his arms.”

- You just look at him but after a moment you climb onto his laps. Itto smiles and hugs you tightly. “There ya go. Nice, cozy and safe. Now tell me what's in that pretty head of yours.”

- Itto is holding you close when you speak. No matter how dark your thoughts get, how cruel the whispers become, he is listening to you.

- When you burst into years he panics just a little. “N-No, no, no, no. There is no place for crying here,” he sits you on the bed next to him and then puts his head in your lap. “You always liked my hair, yeah? How about playing with it?”

- You start playing with his soft long hair, slowly calming down from everything. That's to him you started to feel safe.

- When you felt better, Itto was more than happy to gift you with stuff he brought. He got your favorite sweets and a plushie that you dreamed about.

- Next time this happens, he is right by you, providing any possible kind of comfort in the best way possible! In Oni way!

- Itto will care about your comfort and make sure you feel alright no matter what. You can hide from the whole world in his arms.

280 notes · View notes

gayemeralds · 1 year

Text

alright heres the sonadow fic

word count: 3863

“What do you think that weird energy surge is?"

Shadow doesn't bother looking at Rouge. The Commander had asked him the same thing during the briefing for their mission, and Shadow had already told him he had no idea what could be going on. It wasn’t the same energy signal as a Chaos emerald. But Chaos energy was just as unpredictable as its name suggests, so it could quite literally be anything.

“I told you, I don’t know.” Shadow crosses his arms as Omega takes a sharp left to dodge a volcano. “Why did we let him steer the ship again?”

“I THREATENED TO BLOW IT UP IF YOU DID NOT.”

Rouge waves vaguely, and Shadow rubs his forehead, sensing a migraine forming. He’s a man-made super weapon but Omega’s terrible, jerky driving was enough to give even the most iron of stomachs at least a few flips.

G.U.N. had noticed an intense surge of Chaos energy on the coast of some back water island Shadow had never even heard of. Some place called Christmas Island, on the outskirts of the other mainland islands like South and West Side. It was a quiet, unobtrusive place, and thus no one could figure out why there was a sudden surge of energy.

Rouge had initially been sent to do reconnaissance, before they decided to have Shadow tag along, considering his knowledge on Chaos energy. Omega eventually decided to join because he was hoping a fight would break out, and no one at G.U.N. really wanted to tell the giant robot prone to mass destruction “no.”

The shore of the island came not a second too soon. Shadow hopped off the motor boat as fast as he could, not exactly thrilled about the trip back home, and scans the perimeter. Rouge floats to his side, and Omega nearly tips the boat over trying to join them. Shadow tries to figure out where the source is coming from, but his ability to feel out Chaos energy is weaker than that of Sonic or even Knuckles. A man made connection to the energy, as it turns out, isn’t always up to snuff with the natural sort.

Shadow thinks it’s coming from within the forest, and motions for the others to follow after him, silently. Rouge, as an international super spy and jewel thief, stays as silent as nightfall. Not even the flap of her wings makes a sound as she floats above the foliage and dried leaves. Omega isn’t quite as graceful, though Shadow gives him some credit- he really is trying for some stealth.

The surge in energy becomes strong enough that Rouge seems to feel it. She shivers slightly, the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Chaos energy had the strange property of being like water, or electricity. Wild or still, the eye of a hurricane, the perfect blend of a thunderstorm.

Shadow has them stop. The energy source is only a few feet away, and Shadow hesitantly creeps forward. Omega is charging up his weapons, while Rouge files her nails. Her eyes are sharp, however, and Shadow can see the tension amongst her shoulders, prepared to jump in when the moment’s right.

It’s radiating from a bush dead ahead. Shadow can feel it rolling like the waves of an unsteady tide, like the first time he stepped foot on the shores of an ocean. Jagged but fluid.

He pushes the bush apart, separating it in half, and finds a bundle of blue on the other side. His brows furrow in recognition, noting the iconic shoes and even more iconic color of fur. “Sonic?”

Rouge perks, twirling the nail file as she takes a half step forward. Omega appears to contemplate, before asking, “IS HE A THREAT?”

“Not at all.” Shadow bends down, prodding at Sonic’s shoulder. He’s slumped face first in the ground, and Shadow really wants to make stupid comment about that, but Sonic doesn’t react in the slightest to his podding. Shadow even moves to kick him, not hard, but not particularly kind, and that still doesn’t wake him.

Shadow rolls Sonic onto his back while Rouge moves to his side. Sonic doesn’t appear injured, but he’s definitely unconscious. Rouge settles on his other side and presses a hand against his forehead, her lips twisting. “Oh, he’s definitely got a fever. He’s burning up.”

Shadow’s brows furrow even further. It’s… honestly never crossed his mind that Sonic could be sick, could get sick. They are identical in every way that matters, in speed, in power, in energy manipulation. Shadow just sort of assumed… Sonic would be like him in this way, too. That colds and sickness were essentially below the both of them.

Shadow tilts his head. Sonic’s damp with sweat, but now he’s begun to shiver, curling in on himself a bit, and Shadow brushes some of his quills down. Well, he might be fine with looking like a wreck, but if Shadow has to be seen with him, he’d prefer it if he was able to maintain some class. Obviously.

“Let’s bring him back to Tails,” Shadow finally says. Shadow does have training on how to take care of sick people, of course, but Tails would probably be the better option, considering he has the same medical knowledge but more supplies, and Sonic would probably prefer him over Shadow. Shadow isn’t exactly known for his bedside manner.

Shadow hauls him into his arms. Sonic tucks his head into Shadow’s neck but doesn’t otherwise stir. He must be pretty sick; despite being a chronic napper, Sonic’s always been a pretty light sleeper. Must come with the territory of having defeated Eggman since he was a kid.

“So Baby Blue’s the cause of the energy signal?” Rouge muses as they walk back to the boat. “Chaos energy does require a lot of concentration to use, so I suppose it makes sense that it would become unbalanced if he fell sick. I wonder what he was up to that cause him to just collapse here.”

“I think Eggman was defeated yesterday,” Shadow admitted, trying to remember the news report. “Perhaps Sonic fought him while he was sick, and collapsed here before he could go home.”

“Hm, last I heard, Christmas Island was his home. Maybe he came here while he was under a spell of delirium.”

Shadow pauses while he steps inside the boat. Sonic was from here?

He stares back at the coast line, eyes scanning the forest. The island was insanely small, perhaps a fourth the size of the other islands in the area, and Shadow hasn't seen much signs of civilization here. If there were villagers here, there couldn’t be more than a handful, and none had even bothered to check out the energy source, or talk to Shadow and them when they arrived.

Shadow’s lips thin, and he goes back to boarding the boat, Rouge and Omega not far behind. Omega seems the most disappointed by this turn of events, pouting as he puts his hands on the wheel. “ARE WE CERTAIN THERE”S NOTHING I CAN BLOW UP BEFORE WE LEAVE?”

“Please don’t blow anything up,” Rouge practically begs. “Let’s just get out of here, alright?”

“I DEMAND TO BLOW SOMETHING UP ON THE NEXT MISSION OR I WILL DESTROY GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.”

“Sounds like a G.U.N. problem,” Shadow mutters, keeping a tight grip on Sonic as Omega takes off. The boat jets off at a blinding speed, and it wouldn’t do well for Shadow’s pride to drop his rival in the cold clutches of the ocean during a technical rescue mission. That’s obviously why he holds him as close to his chest as possible.

Rouge and Omega drop him off at a nearby port. As much as Shadow wanted to simply Chaos control to Tails’s, he wasn’t entirely sure how Sonic would react in this state, with his energy so heavily unbalanced. He’s always been Chaos sensitive, even if he claims to be just your average adventurer, and while Shadow has some expertise over the emeralds and their mystique, he doesn't have all the answers. They couldn’t really be called Chaos emeralds if they were so straightforward, after all.

It doesn’t take long to get to Tails’s, and he knocks on the door less than two minutes later. Sonic still hasn’t really stirred other than to shift a bit in his hold, hands clutching his chest fur in a way that’s making something stir in Shadow’s ribcage. Discomfort. That’s it. Obviously.

Tails opens the door a few moments later, hands covered in motor oil, rubbing the sweat on his forehead before his mouth drops into a small ‘o’. “You found him?”

“He was on Christmas Island. I fear he is unwell.”

Tails opens the door wider and invites Shadow inside. He leads him towards the lab, and Shadow carefully avoids some of the random parts strewn across the floor while they walk towards his medbay. Shadow sets Sonic on the bed, not at all gently, nope, and Tails immediately begins to work, humming as he takes in Sonic’s condition.

“I saw he defeated Eggman the other day,” Tails says, “And he was supposed to come visit me after he did, for a celebratory chili dog. He never showed up, so I assumed he forgot. He forgets stuff a lot, you know how he is.”

“Of course.” Shadow can’t even remember how many races Sonic ended up forgetting. Though, to be fair, he usually only misses them because of Eggman or an apocalypse. It was the principle of the matter, however.

“He’s got a really nasty fever,” Tails murmurs, hand settled gently across Sonic’s head. “Watch him while I go check for my medicine.”

Tails doesn't give him a chance to refute, and immediately walks off. Shadow is left alone with Sonic, who’s started to curl in on himself again, shivering as he burrows into the sheets. His eyelids flutter, though he makes no inclination to wake up, and instead begins to shift a bit. Shadow wonders if he’s having a bad dream, frowning at the sight, and moves to smooth a few quills back into place.

Tails walks in and Shadow snatches his hand away. The motor oil from his hands is gone, but there’s a dejected look on his face. “Sorry, Shadow. I don’t have the medicine to help him at the moment. I need to go to Angel Island to find the right herbs. Can you watch him while I’m gone? I just don’t like leaving him alone, if I don;t have to, but I don’t think I can really bring him along…”

Shadow could say no, of course. There’s plenty of other friends that could watch him. But Shadow is here, now, and he can’t quite get his eyes to leave the sight of his normally strong rival so vulnerable. He crosses his arms and looks away from Tails. “I guess. Why Angel Island, though?”

“Sonic’s got a super fast metabolism,” Tails explains, grabbing a backpack. “He’ll burn through normal medicine, so I have to make something special for him. I wish he told me he was feeling bad before it got to this, but he’s always been so stubborn about stupid things liken this.”

Tails sounds exasperated, and Shadow perks up a bit at what he’s learning. “Sonic… hides his sickness from you?”

“All the time. He always ends up getting worked into exhaustion, and then I usually end up finding him passed out somewhere. He doesn’t get sick often, but still. I hate it so much, but Sonic just doesn’t change. You know how he is. A little too independent at times, and always stubborn.”

“But… why?” Shadow can’t quite wrap his head around this. Sonic’s always preaching about friendship and working together. And Sonic doesn’t much care about being vulnerable or weak in front of others; it’s not necessarily a pride thing, despite him being prideful. “Why would he feel the need to hide these things from you?”

“I think he’s just so used to being alone, he doesn’t really think to ask for help for things like this.” The sentence makes Shadow’s stomach form a pout, and Tails himself appears sad, glancing over at Sonic with a soft, almost wistful expression. “Sonic can ask for help with the big things, you know, like adventures. He always thinks it's more fun to do those things with friends. But it’s always been the little things he can’t quite ask for help with.”

Tails pulls on his backpack, and seems to pause, eyes watching Shadow carefully, searching. He seems content with whatever he finds, because he says, a little quietly, “You found him on Christmas Island. Did you know that he’s from there? That tiny little island in the middle of an ocean…”

Tails gazes back at Sonic, frowning. “He doesn’t talk much about that time of his life, before meeting me and Amy and Knuckles. But he said enough. Or maybe it’s what he doesn't say. You know how it is. But he was all alone on that island for years. He didn’t have anyone. Not until Eggman showed up, wanting to test out his latest inventions on what was supposed to be an abandoned, remote island. Sonic challenges Eggman, because no one else would, because no one else could, because it was just him all alone on that island.”

Sonic burrows deeper into the blanket, curling up as tight as he could. Tails places a hand on his forehead, stroking his quills as gently as he could. “Everyone has someone in their life, you know? And at least, when we all started this fight against Eggman, we never joined all alone? Sonic was by all of us, step by step. But no one was there for him. And I think he just can’t shake that, no matter what. It makes me sad, sometimes.”

Tails finally looks at Shadow, long and hard. “Sonic’s always protecting, but no one really bothered to protect him. I don’t think he knows what it means to be protected, in the little ways that matter more than life or death battles.”

Shadow pauses.

Shadow was made to protect, that’s true. At first, he thought maybe he could understand Sonic’s predicament. After all, Shadow was literally made to protect. He was made to protect Maria, to give a cure, and to become a weapon, “to protect the world.” (He doesn’t believe that; G.U.N. didn’t want a hero.)

But then Shadow thinks a little bit more. Because sure, Shadow was made to protect, but he had been protected, hadn’t he? There had been people in his life who loved and adored him and wanted him safe and tried to protect him.

Gerald tried to protect him from G.U.N., tried to protect him from becoming a weapon. The other scientists were kind, and wanted to protect him from the truth of his birth. Maria protected him, ever since he was created- hell, she fucking died to protect him, to send him to earth.

Shadow might have had his loved ones snatched from him because of military brutality, but he still had loved ones to get snatched away from. Shadow does spend a few nights contemplating whether it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved. In his heart, he knows it’s better to have loved.

But Sonic didn’t have that, did he?

Shadow had a family, even if they all ended up dead. But he still knew his family, still loved them dearly. And that family loved him back, loved him so much that they tried to protect him even though he was made to protect <em>them</em>.

But Sonic didn’t have that.

Shadow frowns, peering down at Sonic. “I didn’t know that. I guess I’ve never really thought about his life before meeting the doctor.”

“That’s Sonic for you. Forgetting the past is the game he’s always playing.” Tails shakes his head. “You get why I don’t wanna leave him alone now? If he wakes up, he might end up bolting.”

“I’ll stay. I don't’ mind.”

“Oh, I figured you wouldn’t.”

Shadow blinks at the shift in tone. Tails is peering at him with an almost sly expression. “What?”

Tails waves vaguely. “I know how you are.”

“Again, what?”

Tails tilts his head, then point blanks states. “You know? I know you like him.” Something crosses his face, and seriousness shines in his eyes as he adds, “You’re going to have to make the first move, by the way.”

For a very long moment, Shadow’s entire brain stops functioning. Gerald’s hard work was for nothing, some Ultimate Lifeform he was, getting a brain freeze from the most inane accusation. The only thing he can manage to get out is another, “What?”

“Come on, I know you’re in love with him. Everyone does.” Tails rolls his eyes. “You don’t need a high IQ to see that.”

“Everyone...?”

“Well, except Sonic.” Tails sighs, his harsh expression softening. His gaze flitters back to Sonic, who remains blissfully unconscious. Shadow wishes that was him right now to avoid this conversation. “He’s... well, you know how he is. He’s love blind.”

Tails gave Shadow a mischievous look. “You know, it took a full year of Amy’s antics before Sonic realized she loved him.”

Shadow wanted to laugh, but the realization made the reality sting. “Oh Chaos, you’re joking?”

Tails shook his head, firmly. “So if you want to be in a relationship, you need to state it plainly and simply and broker no room for misinterpretation. Because Chaos knows, he won’t fucking confess to you.”

Shadow frowns. “Why? Isn’t this the same guy who waxes poetic about following his heart and doing what he wants, why doesn’t he, if he likes me back?”

Tails sits down on his work bench, clasping his hands together. He hums a bit, looking like he’s not sure how to word his next answer. Shadow waits, watching the cogs in Tails’s brain work. Shadow’s still trying to figure out how he feels about the fact apparently everyone knows about his (VERY MINUTE AND SMALL)... interest in that blue pest.

Sonic’s always had his respect, of course. From the moment Shadow saw his speed in motion, there had been a part of Shadow impressed by Sonic’s physical abilities. It was piqued further when they battled for the first time on Prison Island, and even more when Sonic proved himself able to use Chaos Control. Shadow’s respect for him, however, finally cemented when Sonic and his friends continued to try to find ways to stop the ARK from crashing into the earth, even though they were no doubt doomed.

He was going to give his all to save the planet he loved, even if he died in the process. It was something Shadow could respect, even before Amy convinced him to help the others. Shadow didn’t have plans on intervening, to help or hinder; it wasn’t likely that they would stop the ARK, but if they did…

Sonic had his respect, too, when they meet again after Shadow develops amnesia. His memories were few and far in between, but there was one that stuck in his brain, faded and weathered, but still there. A golden figure reaching out to him across the stars, radiating an energy that Shadow himself was losing. Sonic, reaching out to him as Shadow lost his super form, as the ARK floated harmlessly outside of the atmosphere, as Shadow descended to what he assumed was his grave.

And then that golden figure appeared again, this time to face off against some creature called Metal Sonic, Neo at the time. Shadow watched as he demolished a mechanical monstrosity that had copied all of their data and used the power of the emerald to transform into a disgusting creature. Shadow watched as Sonic saved the day once more.

Sonic continued to worm his way into Shadow’s life, following him through the invasion of the Black Arms, supporting him through his identity crisis (even if he was, at times, quite annoying). But Sonic taught him the most valuable lessons, despite his silly nature. To love and let live, to enjoy what once was, and to learn to enjoy what you have now.

Tails watches him carefully, and Shadow looks away, not daring to look back at Sonic, either. “I just don’t think he understands the idea of being cared for. He’s always done the caring. A partnership, a true partnership, romantic or platonic, where he’s not the provider, where he’s half of a whole… I don’t think it’s really crossed his mind.”

Tails watches his brother with gentle eyes. “He takes care of all of us. And I think he sees us all as equals. He knows I’m not his side kick, that we’re all partners. But it’s kind of like he’s the big brother and everyone’s his little sibling. Even Knuckles. He just… thinks that he needs to do all the caring. It doesn’t really cross his mind to be cared for.”

Tails pauses, then gives Shadow a strange look. “I think that’s why Amy’s romantic proposals sort of freaked him out, once he realized she was serious. A real partnership like that was completely foreign to him. But I think you could help him realize it’s not so scary. You’re one of the few people in the entire world he never has to slow down for. You can keep up with him, and you can protect him.”

Shadow looks away. He can’t stand the look of earnestness on Tails’s face. “I’ll do my best.”

Tails has a sly grin on his face. “I know. Now, I’ll give you a proper shovel talk once you and Sonic actually figure out what you’re doing. But I’ve got to get to Angel Island, so just keep an eye out for him, alright?”

It feels like a heavier question than it should be. Shadow has no problems bearing the weight, however. “Of course. I’ll keep him company.”

“Thanks again, Shadow.”

Tails walks out of the lab without a spare glance back. Shadow settles himself into the chair next to Sonic, who twists and turns in his sleep. It takes about half an hour before Sonic really wakes up, and even then, Shadow knows he’s not fully awake, eyes open halfway to peer at his surroundings, a yawn escaping his mouth. “Mmm, Shadow? What are you doin’ here?”

“You’re sick. Tails asked me to watch you.”

“That’s silly. I can take care of myself. I always have.”

It’s such a short sentence, but it says more than Tails did during their conversation. Shadow frowns, watching Sonic bury his head deeper into the pillow, sounding sleepier with every syllable. He lets out another yawn, and continues with, “I don’t need anyone else. I can take care of myself.”

Shadow opens his mouth to say something, but Sonic’s already drifting back to sleep. Shadow hesitates, before he runs his fingers through his quills. “Yeah, but now you don’t have to.”

Quietly, to himself, he adds, “And you’ll never have to again.”

#tbh it wouldn't be ahrd to drop the sonadow aspect but um. <3 #sonadow #sega official speaks #fic posting

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glittercake · 11 months

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HIKING | 700w | Mature | nwa | established sambucky; kissing and other stuff; 1 million nicknames.

AN: this will be a little interconnected Tumblr drabble series, but each drabble should read perfectly on its own too. thanks to @sambuckylibrary for organizing this bingo!

God knows Bucky loves him, but sometimes Sam’s got some terrible ideas.

Hiking? Great! Camping? Yeah, fantastic. Sam in a t-shirt two sizes too small, sweating through it? Couldn’t imagine a better view. Bucky couldn’t be more excited about spending some time in the wild outdoors with his best guy this summer, just the two of them in the sunshine, soaking up some vitamin D. That’s the truth, it is.

And look, Captain America’s really fucking great at basically anything. This guy’s got balls the size of Jupiter on him, takes on just about anything with those wings and that shield. But walking ten miles uphill in peak midday heat, Bucky learns, is Cap’s kryptonite.

“Jesus. How much longer?” Sam heaves for the seventh time, uses his shirt to wipe sweat off his brow which is not the type of distraction Bucky needs right now—that soft sliver of skin peeking out of his waistband, that teasing patch of hair leading to his belly button. Bucky could just lay him down and bury his nose in it right now, but no sir. No way. There are thorns and god-knows-what all over this forest floor and the last thing they need is a ‘Cap and Bucky in hospital due to suspicious penis poisoning’ headline.

Instead, he flicks their map open and checks. “Few more miles, sweetheart. You wanna rest?” Bucky takes a few swigs from the canteen and hands it over. The exertion isn’t affecting Bucky as much on account of the serum, so he’s strolling along happily. Sam, despite this being entirely his idea, has been all complaints since sunrise.

After a sip, Sam shakes his head. “Nah. It’s getting late. Wanna set up before dark. Just feels like it’s getting steeper, you know.” He squints up the mountain and shakes his head. He slaps Bucky’s shoulder. “But let’s keep going, Buck.”

“You got it, Cap,” Bucky says and salutes Sam, laughs when Sam rolls his eyes and stomps off ahead. Not that Bucky’s complaining whatsoever. The view’s pretty great from back here.

And alright maybe nature’s getting the best of him out here. Maybe it’s because he knows there ain’t much stopping them from getting down and dirty if they wanted to. And now, watching Sam climbing, he kind of wants to.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, jogging a little to keep up. “Wanna hop on?”

Sam glances over his shoulder, shoots one of those slanted, lopsided grins at Bucky. “Hop on what, though?”

Bucky snorts. “Honey, if we were anywhere else right now, the answer would be very different. But, uh, hop on my back the rest of the way.”

Sam considers that for a second. Checks out the backpack Bucky has on his shoulders. “Hell, if you’re offering, baby. These thighs are rock solid, but they ain’t made for this.”

“Yeah, I know, come on.” Bucky swings the backpack off, carries it in his hand instead and bends just a little to let Sam on.

Sam places a quick kiss against Bucky’s ear, loops his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and holds on tight. In turn, Bucky’s got his free hand firmly splayed on the underside of Sam’s thigh.

He’s not even ten steps into the ascent when he realizes Sam’s not the only one with shitty ideas every now and again.

This is worse on all accounts. Having Sam’s body plastered against him, legs spread against his back, hand gripping Bucky’s chest for purchase. Yeah, no, this is worse.

Sam squeezes a little around Bucky’s pectoral, rubs him through his shirt, and ends it all when he places his soft, warm lips right in Bucky’s neck and opens them.

Bucky stops just then, drops the backpack, and reaches around to swing Sam off too. Pushes him up against a tree the moment his feet hit the ground and kisses him. His hands fly up under Sam’s t-shirt, up against his smooth, warm skin.

Sam lets out a breathy laugh but tugs Bucky closer by his belt, grinds forward, tips his head back to let Bucky get at his neck instead.

“Jesus. Told you hiking was a good idea,” Sam says, fingers digging into Bucky’s shoulders.

Bucky ducks back up to look at Sam, watches Sam’s gaze drop to his lips, licking his own, his eyes wild and glinting with excitement. “Yeah, a real good goddamn idea, babydoll. Let’s keep hiking, huh?”

Sam nods breathlessly, hooks his leg over Bucky’s hip, and Bucky scoops him up. He lays Sam down on the soft, mossy grass at the foot of the tree and kisses him again.

Maybe Bucky’s about to risk that headline. They’ve survived worse.

To be continued in ‘Avian Telepathy’...

#sambucky #sam x bucky #sbsummer2023 #drabble #samantha writes #well im fucking trying #havent written in months damn

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tiptapricot · 1 year

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Alright. Finally getting my thoughts together about Mando S3 episode 6! Forewarning this is a very critical and disappointed view on the episode, however I do try and be as nuanced and explanatory as I can, as just like with the rest of this season there is so much potential, so much I almost love, but it’s just not carried through or is handled in a way that makes me confused and frustrated.

This is somewhat organized, but not overly edited, so if things jump around a bit or if there’s typos, excuse me. Other than that, let’s get into it.

So this episode brings a first two seasons side quest vibe to stuff, which personally I enjoyed as I think those side quests (while many ppl see them as filler/a distraction from the main plot) are more ab exploring our characters under different stressors and circumstances and seeing how they act/react as a result. The design for Plazir was gorgeous and intriguing, and it was fun to see Jack Black and Lizzo and Christopher Lloyd. Similarly to a lot of people I had a “HEY I KNOW THOSE GUYS” moment, and it made me smile and laugh.

But then you get into the plot and I just. I was so icked out and uncomfortable and baffled at how it was handled. Plazir is, as it’s set up, an absolute fucking dystopia. Star Wars has never been good with its droid issues, something that always makes me extremely mad and uncomfortable, but beyond the Solo story, I think this may be one of the worst handlings of those issues yet.

I’ll be sharing ideas with the video “The Traegedy of Droids” by Pop Culture Detective pretty consistently in passing here, so please check it out if you haven’t or aren’t aware of what I’m talking about with “the issue with how SWs handles droids.”

The mini plot of this episode is, in summary, our main protagonists helping to carry out a targeted physical oppression of a droid revolution in order to maintain the droid’s enslaved class status and allow the citizens to continue living on free labor. Not only that, but the revolution and fighting back is revealed to not be a choice, but a drugged reaction from an evil human source. The droid bar literally called The Resistor is not, in fact, an underground place for droids to find community and power and push back (despite the fact that it proves they have off time and desires for relaxation and comraderie) but a place for our mains to be reminded that droids actually just love being an enslaved class, and that oh yes these violent push backs actually make them look bad, and what if they’re forced not to work anymore? No they care about their oppressors and couldn’t imagine fighting back. Action like that has to be forced out of them by humans and is unnatural to their regular existence.

And none of this is framed in the dystopian way it should be. Plazir and it’s leaders and citizens are not framed or presented in a negative light, and the moral is not put on helping the droids to not be the forced labor class for a whole planet. The interesting and terrible ideas presented are taken at face value of how the ruling class sees it, and we as the audience are meant to root for Din and Bo as they chase after a droid Din harassed into fighting back, who is running for its life and defending itself, who they kill. We are meant to be happy when they shoot it, feel triumph, see these outbursts the same way those on Plazir/our mains do. We are meant to see droids as both the enemy and as rightfully subservient.

And that’s. Absolutely fucking wild? Similarly to Solo and L3, I cannot fathom the thought process going through the writers brains while setting up a plot that focuses on droid revolution and freedom, only to treat it as a joke, or to end up condemning droids to a fate worse than death/to a content slave class. And all of this, again, our protagonists go along with.

Bo and Din never once question droid rights or sentience, never once go “oh hey we should actually help these guys out.” They stop the uprisings, Lizzo knights Grogu, and the story goes along its way like it was just an unimportant side quest, and not a nightmare. The mains don’t care, the writers don’t care, the world is telling the viewer not to care.

This is exemplified, unfortunately enough, with the use of the cameos. That reaction of “Omg haha! Lizzo! Jack Black! Mr Lloyd!” add to the comedic/trope-y framing of this episode. The acting was great, this is not against the actors present, I was happy to see them, but their presence added to the episode’s unserious/comedic/don’t think about it too much tone. Seeing celebrities we like takes the focus off of the content of the plot and onto “Haha people I like!” And that sours their presence for me.

And like. Droid stuff not being serious has always been around, with protagonists playing into/joking about droid oppression right from the original trilogy, but hating droids has within the mandalorian itself been built up to be unreasonable and a flaw.

Din is droid-racist. That’s been part of his character since the start, and it has been something he has grown with, that the story has attempted to show him working against despite his prejudices. Yes, he is not over his hate for droids, trusting a few will not change his views on them all, and his actions still being violent and prejudiced this episode are not totally out of character. But he’s been shown to be working on that, and the issue comes with the fact that these actions are not seen as an issue past being impulsive. Kicking a line of workers until one lashes out, saying “if they’re programmed right they shouldn’t mind,” threatening to kill a droid bartender, not questioning forced labor, being excited to kill droids, are all framed as funny or correct or just regular “fighting before talking” type characterization, and not as the deeply flawed and bigoted actions they are.

I’ve seen people in fandom saying “well it’s because of his battle droid PTSD” “din still hates droids that wasn’t resolved” “he’s not just going to be fine around the droids that killed his parents” and like. Yeah, sure. But that doesn’t excuse the actions. They should still be seen as a big fucking issue, as him acting grossly out of line and holding up a “one bad experience means the whole group is bad forever” mentality. Not just a character quirk or something funny or an excuse. The best I can liken it to atm is racism from war vets against the group they fought against. You may be able to understand the distrust and trauma associations but hey guess what! Doesn’t excuse the racism/xenophobia/etc.! But the plot and story framing sure does, and it’s been effective, because the fandom has been doing the same thing too! And it’s. Wild to me!

Like I get many people don’t think about stuff, because again that’s how the world frames it, but you gotta? You gotta see the messages being pushed here?

And from a narrative standpoint you can’t just introduce a storyline like this without dealing with the implications it therefore burdens the story with discussing. Otherwise you end up with something reductive, trivializing, and at its core really really ideologically gross, which is what we got here.

This also doesn’t even touch on:

—The further use of the amnesty program in a way that doesn’t fully dig into the messed up results or the irl parallels to operation paperclip

—Ugnaughts being the only organic labor class we see besides those monitoring security, another group that’s framed as loving to work on the things the ruling class don’t want to, and also living in the dark underground

—The implications of direct democracy and non-militant societies being seen as weak and unreasonable

—Leaders finding loopholes in their laws to intact violence into a revolting class without having to answer for the repercussions of rule breaking

Mainly because I don’t have the brain to unpack all of it. But hey! Just shows how much they introduced with no real thought of how big a can of worms it opened up from a political and social perspective. Something that while a constant in Star Wars at this point never makes it alright. It’s lazy and shows the underlying racist/capitalist politics running through most main pieces of the universe, of which this episode I’d say is probably Mando’s most outright example of. (There are exceptions, Andor being a huge one, but lord is that an exception with everything around it)

And like in concept a neo-noir detective story/procedural with the mando cast sounds awesome, that’s one of my favorite genres, but this was just good old fashioned copaganda and race/class fumble episode with no real nuance, point, or lingering effects on our characters and their view of droids. When I’m fully able to say Detroit become human did a better job handling the ideas of robot sentience/freedom/uprising/changing sides, I think you need to take a good hard look at your story.

So just. That’s that part of the episode. And that’s already so much, but then we have the ending/it’s ties into the overall plot.

From the start we get no real explanation for why Din is with Bo and no one else, what the fallout of the armorer’s decision and reveal of Bo’s place in things had on the covert or on Din and Bo. We just jump in. Then you have Din and Bo showing their individual leading strengths in the episode, the balance between diplomacy and action, heavily implying some joint ruling need, or even showing Din finally showing leadership skills.

But then we get to the final scene with the Axe and Bo fight, and I’ll say I loved that combat! Beat each other up! It was great and I think shows their competence and the statement that fighting makes in mando culture, as well as asserting Bo’s place leading her group. But then we also get two really fucking stupid things.

The first is Axe saying Din isn’t a real mando because of blood even though that? Has never really been a staple of the culture??? This opens up an idea that the night owls have different views on Mandalorian culture than the larger consensus that understands it as a religion, a culture, a people, but not a homogenous group with direct biological descent. Foundlings are huge! So where is this coming from? What’s the background there?

It muddies up a lot of character stuff, culture stuff, and the analogies Mandalorian culture has to real life groups like the Jewish community, various Indigenous and colonized communities, etc. As with so much of this season, Mandalorian culture and politics is begging to be explored, to be fleshed out and dug into in a deeper way than it has been already, and even with new ideas the writers decide to use, it’s given almost no focus. It’s frustrating and disheartening.

Second, ofc, is the Darksaber hand off. I have talked previously about one of the largest issues this season being the writers wrapping up Din’s arcs and plots with no real focus or fanfare, and this was another slap in the face in that regard. Officially, every single important thing from the end of S2 has been wrapped up either in a spin off series that shouldn’t even have had sm Din focus, or in the second episode of the third season. Everything that poised Din for a huge character arc at the end of season 2, at a fundamental change and exploration in himself, has been tossed aside. And it makes no sense to do that. So let’s go through them each!

1. Grogu. Throughout the first two seasons Din and Grogu’s relationship was a focus. It was about Din breaking rules and getting into danger to save this kid, his drive to protect him, to connect him with his people, and then to save him from Gideon. We get that line “He is more important to me than you will ever know,” and then Din has to give him away. This sets up exploring how Grogu has changed him, how that relationship has affected them both, how Din now operates without him.

But then he was reunited with Grogu relatively easily, and there has been no focus on how the newfound understanding of Grogu’s importance to Din affects their relationship now. He hasn’t even recognized himself as Grogu’s father yet, and there’s been no real bonding moments past some in the first two episodes and the background shallow cute moments in others. There’s been no side interactions of Din asking about what Grogu learned, or treasuring having him back, or reflecting on his place as a parent, or making sure he doesn’t lose him again. In episode 6 Din even leaves Grogu with strangers he’s just met for the entire episode and that has no fallout or recognition, despite one of them being an ex-imperial.

2. Breaking the creed. Throughout the first two seasons, again, Din’s faith and his adherence to the CotW’s beliefs are a huge focus. From episode one and on we get variations of the question “Why don’t you take off your helmet?” “Just take off your helmet” “don’t mandos never take their helmets off?” And we see Din is willing to die rather than break that, rather than not be Mandalorian anymore in his eyes. But he does anyway. For Grogu. A testament to not only his growth because of him, but to his commitment to Grogu over all else.

And he is in some ways hopeless because of that. He willingly takes off his helmet again to show Grogu his face before he says goodbye, because he is all Din has left at that point, all that matters in the moment.

But, of course, there is no lasting effect. Bathing in the waters, built up to be a season long arc, was aborted to being finished in episode two with relatively extreme ease, and even then, had no lingering focus on what being redeemed meant for Din. There was no questioning or clinging to faith, no discussions of how much this meant for him, no lingering on the bathing (because it was turned into a rescue action scene for Bo’s story!), no discussion of how being accepted back and cleansed affected him. One of the largest parts of the character since his introduction is. A footnote.

3. The darksaber/ruler of Mandalore story. This one’s just. Nothing. Also resolved retroactively in episode 2, and with no plot presence otherwise. To start this out, no I didn’t think Din was going to have this great rise to being Mand’alor, that was never really where the plot was going in my eyes. But no matter where it should’ve gone or what it should’ve been, it should’ve been something. Yes! He doesn’t want it! So show us why, show us what that responsibility or implication means to him, why his sect of culture doesn’t care about it, why he doesn’t believe himself to be the one to rule or unite. Make him giving it up feel as earned as if he’d kept it. This is one of the most frustrating aspects of this episode and a final straw in my vendetta against the writers.

The dark saber doesn’t even make an appearance between episodes two and six, it’s that unimportant. There is no conversation with Paz or the Armorer, who both know Din has it. There is no discussion about what it means with Jedi vs Mando history, or with Bo Katan about her history with it. This therefore makes Din having it pointless. It did nothing beyond maybe some combat scenes and the brief Butt up against Paz in BoBF. Another case of more actual plot engagement being in BoBF than the main show. There was no point for it to change hands to Din, because him having it changed nothing, made no one grow, made no one think. It affected Bo, which I’ll touch on again in a bit, but the story blooming there could’ve come around by many other means and was not tied to Din at all.

But before I dig into that aspect, the amount of times I’ve seen “Din never wanted the saber that’s why hes finding an easy loophole to give it up” “Din likes being a side character” stuff is so!!! Like!!! Yes! He doesn’t want it he doesn’t want action and responsibility and he doesn’t care about it but he is not making choices he is not real he is being written lazily! This is the writers not wanting to engage with their own character that they built up and created and set the arcs in motion for.

A show can have multiple mains, can shift character focus, but “The Mandalorian” at its inception was referring to Din Djarin and there was no precident for that focus to completely shift. This isn’t a show that changes protags every season, he used to be a shape in the title, is on the merch and the branding. And if there is meant to be a protagonist shift it has to be gradual, and to still involve his development in the impact on that other character. The explanation of “Well it’s called The Mandalorian not Din Djarin” just makes me really mad cause yeah? It is? But it’s also called Star Wars and not Luke Skywalker but we still understand he is the main protagonist, even if other characters develop and are present alongside him.

And there’s no excuse to sideline Din, because the truth is he does have growth to get, he does have arcs to explore, the only reason he’s so flat and has nothing to work towards right now is because the writers threw that away. Specifically in ways that did not make sense from a character or writing perspective.

And why is that? Because they wanted to write someone else, they wanted to write Bo Katan.

Which is exciting! I love Bo as a character from what I’ve seen of her. She is complex and flawed and has a deeply fucked up past that’s intrinsically connected to Mandalore and it’s future. That is a fascinating character to work with, and I don’t mind her being more present in Mando as it tracks for the goal of bringing Mandalorians together. But! This plot is not doing her justice either.

Throughout this season Bo has been dragged along through the shallows in her own journey. There has been no discussion of her past, of Death Watch’s terrorism and torture and murder, of Satine, of her several past attempts to lead Mandalore, of her history with the civil wars and with clan Viszla and with so much more. Which is wild, because you’d think a season which has chosen to focus on her would? Give a shit about her? Would actually engage with the character she is and what she brings to the table?

Instead she’s been handed every plot point, reduced to a girlboss leader, and her rise to getting the saber again is not only forced with no real discussion or nuance, but she’s once again been given it on a technicality. Just as Din giving up the saber is not a decision and shift earned by development, Bo getting it again isn’t either.

And as I mentioned earlier, she was affected by Din getting the saber in that it led to her people leaving her, and led her to question things, but it being Din having the saber means nothing. The same thing would’ve happened had anyone else gotten the saber, or had it been vented off into space or lost or hidden or whatever. By giving it to a specific character, that begs for interaction over that ownership, for discussion and reflection and connection with that character.

And yet there has been nothing. Bo and Din have had some good interactions, yes, but the development the show seems to want for Bo, seems to want the audience to be rooting for and going along with, is not being shown.

To make all of this more basic, the issue with this episode and this whole season thus far, is that it refuses to engage with its own ideas to a fault. It doesn’t want to get its hands messy, doesn’t want to untie the complicated and fascinating and fucked up knot it’s tied for itself. Instead it’s slicing through all of those Gordian style and leaving us to wonder about what might’ve been, about what the story seems to want to be.

I love a lot of the concepts this season, I love what it could be. I love the characters and the world and the religion and the politics, but I have to actually see what is set up, what is set in motion, what is built, to feel like I am watching the show I loved at the start.

And though it’s not as relevant to this episode, it feels relevant here: This should’ve been a Mandalorian politics season, not a new republic politics season.

Yes, they are intertwined, but at the moment the new republic development feels like a main focus, meant to set things up for further installments in the franchise or retroactively explain pst choices, and the mandalorian culture a side focus, and this has caused a detriment to both. Neither gets explored in their full complexity and nuance, and the story feels unfocused and weirdly disjointed as a result.

I’ve seen people upset by the great divide or presence of fandom negativity lately and I get that, but I feel there needs to be an understanding that people aren’t hating just to hate, this is a serious disappointment with the tanking quality of the show and it’s lack of commitment to itself. When something doesn’t deliver on what it markets itself to be, what the writing lays a basis for, that breaks trust and engagement and enjoyment, and leads to people being pissed. It happens. You can still enjoy the show, while also recognizing there is a boatload of valid criticism and issues and flawed messages that are making people uncomfortable, disinterested, and angry.

And having expectations doesnt devalue those criticisms either. I’ve seen a lot of talk of like “you wanted it to be something it’s not” and while that’s true in some cases, I had no solid ideas for this season beyond… what it showed it was going to do. And I am trying to engage with the ideas it is presenting. Again, I like the hypothetical arc at play, but the execution just. Isn’t it for me. The writing quality isn’t good and isn’t smooth and as I hope I’ve laid out, isn’t living up to its own potential or ideas.

So. Yeah.

I just want a show to be what it was begging to be, what it set itself up to be, what the characters and plot threads are wanting to be, but aren’t able to reach in their entirety. I want stuff that makes sense, that makes me think, that isn’t bigoted and lazy and frustrating. But I haven’t been getting that. And that really sucks.

TLDR: a train wreck in motion, but it was carrying cargo I would’ve loved to see.

#the fruit is talking again #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian season 3 #the mandalorian critical

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eternally-smitten · 8 months

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Selfshiptember: Plant Sitting

pairing: Ignacio x Natalie

summary: While away, Natalie trusts Ignacio to take care of her venus fly trap

word count: ~1.5k

author's note: okay so the prompt said "babysitting/petsitting" but i was looking at my venus fly trap (yes i included a photo. my little baby is at the end under the cut :)) and got inspired! everyone thank Audrey II for this fic <3

Ignacio looked at the little plant in his hands curiously. Its small size made his rough, calloused hands seem huge compared. He eyed it carefully, almost as if he looked away for a moment it would drop dead in an instant.

"Alright, I wrote down the instructions but you know you can always call me if you need any help." Natalie packed up the last of her luggage while talking to him, "Or, you can always just call me for fun! I wouldn't mind that at all."

"Are you sure about this?" He asked quietly, still cradling the venus fly trap, "I mean, I've never taken care of a plant before. I'm a car guy, you know that."

She looked over her shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile, "It'll be okay! It's really not that hard! I know I called my little Audrey II prissy but you can handle it!"

He pursed his lips and looked away from the plant for the first time since he started holding it, "What if I do it wrong? I know how much it means to you, mi amor."

"You won't! You can't mess up watering it!" Natalie thought for a moment, "Well, you technically can mess it up but I know you won't! I left the distilled water out for you and the instructions on the fridge!"

"What about feeding it? I know it, uh, eats…bugs." He muttered that last bit with a grimace on his face.

She giggled a little at his expression, "It'll be okay. It doesn't need to be fed everyday or anything! If you're really worried about that, just leave it outside! It'll attract food all on its own like it would in the wild!"

"But its-"

"Ignacio," She pressed a sweet, gentle kiss on his lips and curled her hand around the back of his neck, "My sweet, it'll be okay. I trust you! All you need to do is make sure it's in the sun and to check its water every now and then. I won't be gone for long so I doubt you'll even have to do much, okay?"

Ignacio immediately missed her kiss as soon as she pulled away, "I'll miss you terribly and so will little Audrey here."

"Audrey II you mean." She corrected him, smirking a bit.

"Yes, Audrey II, my mistake." He smiled back, feeling a bit more confident now, "I'll send you updates while you're away."

"Thank you," Natalie grabbed her luggage and sadly waved goodbye, "I'll be back soon, I promise you. That's the downside to moving so far away from your family, you're expected to fly over as soon as any big event happens."

"I'll be here waiting for you." He waved back, "And so will Audrey II, of course. Goodbye, corazoncito, see you when you get back."

"Love you both lots!"

Ignacio watched as his beloved girlfriend left and shut the door behind her. He stared at the door in silence for a few seconds as if he expected her to come back and say she changed her mind about going. Of course, she did leave and he was happy for her. He just missed her a lot already. His eyes looked away from their front door and back to her venus fly trap. All its little mouths were open and to him, it looked like they were all afraid of him.

"Looks like it's just us, pequeña planta." He chuckled, very gently grazing the side of its mouth with his pointer finger.

The plant felt smooth like plastic. He was almost convinced it was fake. Then, Ignacio decided to put it back in its usual sunny spot in the windowsill and leave it be. He couldn't stop staring at it, though. It felt weird being in charge of somethings well-being even if it was just a tiny plant. At least it wasn't babysitting, he thought to himself, then he really would have no clue as to what to do.

After what felt like forever, Natalie finally arrived at her destination. Once she got to her hotel room, she collapsed into bed and threw her shoes off. She also searched through her bag to check her phone for the first time since she left and found that she had a few unread messages from Ignacio.

The first one read, "Accidentally got water on the plant and the mouth thing shut. Is it ok??? Pls help" And it was quickly followed up with "Oh it's normal. That happens with rain when they're wild I guess? Looked it up just now. Sorry. Audrey II is ok"

Then, he sent an awkward looking selfie of him holding the bowl the plant was in with the caption "We both miss you already. I miss you more tho…don't tell the plant I said that. They eat meat, right? I don't wanna be its lunch."

Natalie kept beaming at her phone. She always loved getting texts from Ignacio, but he was such a dry texter that it didn't happen a lot. Now that she left her prized fly trap with him, he's been filling her in on all sorts of updates. It made her extremely happy.

She replied back, "LOL! My two loves <3 miss u too. Just got to my hotel. Call soon?"

She set her phone down for maybe five seconds before it started to buzz and light up. Natalie giggled to herself and picked it up, "Wow, that was quick."

"Just happy to hear your voice, I guess." She could hear him smiling as he spoke, "How was your trip? Good, I hope."

"Well, driving gets boring after a while. I mean, an hour or so into it you keep seeing the same desert and the same road signs." She confessed, twirling her hair with her fingers, "But, I'm here now and I'm glad I finally have a chance to speak with you."

Ignacio let out a sigh of relief when he heard that her trip was okay, "Your plant finally opened by the way. I just had to wait a few hours."

"Yeah, they're more resilient than you think! I think you're getting the hang of it, though."

"Really?" He sounded surprised, "I keep checking on it to make sure it's okay. I know how much it means to you."

"You're doing great, Nacho. I promise you." She grinned, even though he couldn't see her, "You're better at taking care of things than you think, hon."

He stumbled over his words, "Thank you, mi amor." He paused, “Your words always soothe me.”

Natalie was almost grateful that he couldn’t see her in person right now with how hot her cheeks were, “You’re too sweet. Hey, with this little plant, we’re almost like parents!” She cringed as she said that last sentence. It sounded weird comparing them to actual parents or talking about parenthood with him, even as a joke.

Ignacio went quiet for a little while before saying, “I guess so. Huh, never thought about that. I mean…Until I met you, maybe.”

“R-Really?” She coughed out, “Who knew my little leafy baby could bring this sorta side out of us?”

“Yeah, who knew?” He said softly, “You sound exhausted, love. Go get some rest, okay?”

A yawn escaped her mouth as he said that. She was feeling pretty beat, “Oh, but I’ll miss you.”

“I know and I’ll miss you right back.” There was a hint of sadness in Ignacio’s voice, “Here, I’ll send you a good night picture of Audrey II over here and promise you that I will call you first thing in the morning. How does that sound?”

Natalie hesitated slightly. She wanted to talk to him forever. She could fall asleep just listening to him talk about mundane things. Her head did feel heavy and her body was begging to stretch out under the covers, though, so she knew he was right.

“Alright,” She finally agreed, “But I won’t rest until I see that picture of my two favorite things in the world together. That’s a threat.”

“Oh, I’m so frightened.” He chuckled, “Guess I better do what you say, huh? Well, let me go do that then. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See ya,” She hung up and eagerly waited to watch her phone light up with a notification from him. A few minutes passed with nothing. Natalie grew a little impatient so got ready for bed while she waited in hopes that while she was away, Ignacio would message her and she could sleep soundly. Her wish came true because when she returned after freshening up, she found a text from him. There was another picture of him holding the plant up to his face. He looked a lot less awkward now and he was warmly smiling at the camera. He included the caption “For you” with some little heart emojis next to it.

Natalie immediately saved the picture and made it her wallpaper before replying with, “Thank u!! Goodnight <3 :)”

She shut off the lamp beside her bed and sunk into the cushy mattress. She continued to fondly look at the photo he sent her until her eyelids were too heavy. Knowing her prized possession was with the world’s best plant dad made her feel at ease as she slowly drifted to sleep.

tag list: @rainy-day-ships @bobmckenzie @wanderers-wife @williameaston @danireblogs @gideongrovel @cherrypieships @hollandmarchsdork let me know if you want to be added/removed!

and of course, as promised, here is my little baby!

I raised it from just a little tiny root! It's a little hard to see, but there are five mouths and a sixth one coming in! :D

#my stuff ♡#{luz de mi vida} ✧#selfshiptember #safeshiptember #ok to rb!

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teabookgremlin · 1 year

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hello little gay people who live in my phone, here are my thoughts on yellowjackets 02x03. spoilers below cut

first of all! lets talk taivan bc i feel like we got some good stuff from them this week so i’m starting there bc i love them

- i felt so bad for tai when she had the realization of what happened. like she had no idea and it’s so upsetting like she had to process that not only did she do that but everyone else did it willingly! also how van just immediately tells her that she ate the face, van, baby, i love you but maybe don’t immediately tell your gf that she ate someone’s face in her sleep. also interesting to me that she went for the face given that in 02x01 she tries to eat van’s face in her sleep

- van following tai when she sleepwalked, she’s so so so worried for her and i feel like in this episode she really fully sees how bad it is. finding out about the man w/ no eyes, sleepwalking tai not being tai, it’s all super wild and i want to learn more i wanna know what her connection to the supernatural is and being drawn to the rune was interesting

- during the bird scene when van was collecting them like lottie said, the way tai was looking at her made me sad. like we know the cult shit is causing issues between them but i don’t like seeing it. i do think i read somewhere that tai ends up getting more into it to stay closer to van so that’ll be interesting to see

- ok now onto the big moment for the taivan girlies: THE FUCKING MIRROR SCENE i’m obsessed mirror tai mouthing “go to her” and forming the doomcoming mask with her hands oh my god i can’t. and then her immediately running out at taking her assistant’s (or advisor or whoever that lady is) and calling jessica roberts (rip). i wanna know how she ends up finding van cause we know jessica can’t help anymore but yeah just the desperation to go find her in that moment was a lot for me and i cannot wait to get adult van next week

alright now onto some more general thoughts that aren’t taivan

- once again feeling terrible for our doomed king, ben. the scenes where he was remembering paul and imagining having gone to him instead of getting on the plane… my poor guy :( also him hallucinating rabid gen was great and honestly valid. at this point i honestly feel like ben’s gonna end up killing himself, whether he just like stops eating or like full on commits suicide i honestly think he’s just gonna die then get eaten rather than being killed for food

- i loved the scene of nat just staring at jackie’s body. her guilt and shame was so clear and just demonstrated well between that scene and what she said to the bones after dropping them off at the plane

- i don’t trust walter. the way he instantly jumped to flattering misty in exactly the way that works on her makes me suspicious and i wanna know what he’s up to. other than that mostly didn’t care about him and misty’s shenanigans except that its leading them to lottie and therefore our mistynat reunion

- lottie telling shauna that jackie would’ve wanted shauna to eat her and shauna saying she wanted to eat her… the homoeroticism of cannibalism my beloved

- loved loved loved the bits with akilah this episode, her and tai talking, her talking about her nephew, it was just SO sweet and so wonderful and i love her

- misty and crystal agreeing that jackie was tasty, crystal telling misty about absorbing her twin in the womb, these two are enabling each other’s weirdness and i’m obsessed with their loser girl friendship

- nat hallucinating the moose was interesting bc she’s one of the few main girls that hadn’t hallucinated yet so wonder what that means

- listen. shauna threatening the dude was incredible, i love my unhinged milf, but like the car theft thing took up too much time and also we got too much jeff this episode

- misty’s gift at the baby shower killed me. loved nat, tai, and van talking shit about it that was great but like what the fuck misty why are you like this

- adult lottie seeing the hives bleeding and bees dead was really interested and i wanna know what it means

overall a pretty strong episode. i’m glad that in the wilderness they had a fairly chill time given everything, like we don’t need a big shocking scene each episode and this one was more about dealing with shit and i liked that. my biggest issue this week is, as many people are saying, too much men (ben is the exception bc he’s the only man on this show i really care about)

#yellowjackets s2 #yellowjackets spoilers #lila’s yellowjackets recap

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1192-acsr · 7 months

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i want to talk about appendage (2023) bc i watched it last night and i am obsessed.

i went into it thinking it'd be a bit body horror a bit psychological horror and it was very briefly both of those things but my god the allegory of the WHOLE THING was absolutely gorgeous.

so. spoilers ahead.

so our hero, hannah? i think? honestly i do not remember her name. her parents suck and expect a lot more from her. he boss sucks and expects a lot more from her. she, rightly, is stressed. she struggles.

after a rough but not terrible day, her "appendage" is born. which first. i think is great. bc it's not the big thing that breaks a person. it's the little ins and outs of life that become too much. starting off with some great nuance.

meanwhile, things are getting harder with her parents, (they are making a big to do about nothing to get attention), an important thing is coming up at work (a career defining moment), and she is starting to suspect something is going on between her bestie and her boyfriend (who is trying to get more serious with her)

all the while, her appendage is growing. getting more capable and more humanoid.

so she seeks outside help. she finds a support group and they are understanding and welcome her into the fold. she makes a good friend, claudia (i think??), who feels like a True Friend, and she starts pulling away from her existing bestie.

ok so here's where things get excellent.

after taking claudia's advice, her appendage takes over. rather than being the one locked in the basement, her appendage locks HER in the basement. doppelganger shit.

it is revealed that both claudia and the support group are the appendages and their originals are the ones locked away! some of them have even killed their originals and taken over completely!!

her bestie ends up saving her, she takes down her appendage, and she is very tender with it. she says "i will take care of you". she and her bestie save claudia's original so on and so forth.

the movie closes on hannah and her bestie living their best lives going into business together, and hannah pricks her finger on a needle. she stops and is very quiet.

(at the beginning of the movie her spiral started after she pricked her finger and bled on a gown she was making. this gown ended up being rejected and was a humiliation for her.)

then, she goes upstairs into the attic and there is her appendage. it has lost much of its power and its back to a lumpy baby. she is tender with it. she sings to it. she rocks it.

the movie closes.

ALRIGHT that was a wild ride, but why am i obsessed with this movie?

bc it's all an allegory for mental illness and beneath the guise of horror it is done beautifully.

the "appendage" is the part of hannah that is unwell. angry. jealous. anxious. it brings out the worst in her.

the support group she finds? so many support groups of like-burdened people end up wallowing. dwelling. feeding the illness versus managing it until that is all they are.

claudia DID want to help her, but claudia was already so cruel and miserable herself that she only dragged hannah down and brought out the worst in her.

the ending????? acknowledges that a person cannot live without the bad feelings, but rather than locking them away in the closet (a common theme in this movie) we must be gentle with ourselves

also there was a bit about how hannah's appendage was going to kill her boyfriend to reach Full Power that i forgot to mention, which captures the damage we can do to our partners. AND THEn the bestie being the one that saves her is emphasizing that we cannot do it alone!! we are not alone!

anyway this was a great movie. loved it. big fan or horror as a window to the soul.

#i also watched grimcutty recently #which tapped into a similar thing #but altho that one was a better movie #i dont think it was done quite as well from a storytelling perspective

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bridgertonbabe · 2 years

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i think its law now for every darkest timeline au tangent you give, you have to give one fluff moment from teachers pr take my hand 👉🏼👈🏼 (im selfish im sorry)

So as I've already done a lil Take My Hand fluff today, I'm give you some Teachers AU insights.

They had been together for over a year when Sophie fell ill with a stomach bug and despite how sick she felt, Benedict had to force her into bed and take some time off to recover. "Soph, you're a Food Tech teacher for god's sake! Surely you must know you're better off staying home than bringing this into school and spreading it further." "But I was going to make pizzas with my year 8s!" she whined sulkily, terribly aggrieved to be missing out on such a monumentous event with her students (in her eyes, at least). "The sooner you rest and take it easy, the quicker you can get back to work, okay?" "Okay." she grumbled and reluctantly allowed herself to be tucked in by her boyfriend. He checked his phone throughout the day to see how she was faring, though after a few more days, Sophie was still not doing too good. "It's not fair!" Sophie complained. "How come you haven't caught this yet?" "I'm probably just more immune after spending most of my life in school." Benedict figured. "But I thought I was immune too!" she harrumphed. "Hey, even Wonder Woman needs a break every now and then." he assured her. Before he left their flat his father had arrived to look after Sophie as he had done so for the past few days. When Edmund had learnt that Sophie was off sick he immediately went into full-on dad mode, insisting he stay with her while Benedict was at work, bringing her soup and sitting with her so she wasn't alone. "How's the patient today?" Edmund asked. "She's still feeling the same. I tried to get her to eat her breakfast but she insisted she didn't have the appetite for it. I really hope by the time I get back tonight that she'll be over the worst of it." "I'll keep you updated, son." his father assured him, giving him a pat on the back before sending him off. The day went by without much happening until Benedict's fourth class packed up ahead of the last and final lesson, but before he could begin setting up for his Year 7s, Mrs Danbury entered the room along with Kate. "Bridgerton, I'm covering your lesson." Mrs Danbury informed him. "You are? Why?" Benedict frowned. "Kate will fill you in." she replied before ushering him out and welcoming his class in. "Kate, what's going on?" Benedict asked, growing steadily worried with her serious demeanour. "I'll tell you, let's just get to your office." When they got to the English office, he was surprised to find Anthony already waiting, an empathetic look on his face as soon as he saw his brother. "What's going on?" Benedict asked tightly, becoming increasingly alarmed the longer time went on without anyone telling him anything. "Ben, we need you stay calm alright? Everything's okay. Just don't freak out." Anthony told him gently, holding his hands out to him and approaching him like he was a wild animal he was trying to coax to approach. "You acting like this isn't doing much to stop that!" Benedict spluttered. "Please, for the love of god, just tell me what's going on! Has something happened with mum? Dad?" "Ben," Kate sighed and she placed a hand on his shoulder simultaneously with Anthony, "Sophie's in hospital." Benedict felt his heart drop right into his stomach. "She's what?!" "Ben, calm down," "Calm down?! My fiancee is in hospital! I'd like to see you try to be calm in my shoes!" he snapped at Anthony. "Ben, she's alright," Kate tried to tell him. "Well she can't be that alright if she's in the fucking hospital, now can she? What the hell happened?" "She hasn't had a stomach bug - it turned out to be appendicitis." Kate informed him in spite of his lashing out. "Your father's with her, he rushed her in this morning and she's already had the surgery. She's doing well, Ben." Benedict's panic subsided, knowing that not only had Sophie been treated and was already recovering but that his dad was by her side making sure she was okay. "We'll drive you over, okay?" Anthony said and Benedict nodded before he ended up in a hug with his brother and Kate.

#asks #i'm reblogging in a sec to add the second part #stupid fucking character limit keeps popping up randomly for some reason #teachers au #benophie #benedict x sophie

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hellmouth-manor · 3 months

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stupid mastermind i'm fucking ballin

So that’s it, then.

In the end, just learning the truth doesn’t grant the opportunity to change it. Everything is as it is meant to be; your souls remain forfeit, the game continues, and Alou wins.

(Though, that would imply losing was ever even an option in the first place.)

Naturally, there’s meant to be a pause after Alou finishes speaking– a solemn lapse into silence as inevitability sinks in and smothers the final flame of resistance. Or perhaps for some, it would only serve as a moment of consideration before a final futile attempt at lashing out for your freedom.

Not that it really matters either way, considering it doesn’t actually happen.

The should-be silence is afforded hardly a passing second before it’s broken by the sudden, jarring sound of laughter. Even without looking, the source of it is obvious. Hisashi’s mad cackle is, unfortunately, all too familiar by this point.

Those whose eyes had followed Alou’s to the blood covered pair would have seen Hisashi’s face slowly contorting, mouth pressed into a thin line and brow furrowing deeper by the second. It would have been easy to assume he was finally starting to get properly angry.

Looking at him now, lips pulled in a wide grin and shoulders shaking with each terribly loud laugh the scrapes its way up his throat, it’s pretty clear he was just trying to hold it in for as long as he could.

“Ohhh my God–”

For a few seconds, it seems like he’s having trouble pulling himself back together– he even reaches up and wipes at one of his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry! I just– I cannot keep this up anymore, guys. Holy shit.”

As another bark of laughter escapes him, his subdued, calculated expression from before has fallen away entirely at this point. This look – this wild eyed, fang filled look of an animal – feels far more at home on Hisashi’s face. The way he speaks without any of the fanciful speech of before is much the same.

That was always Alou’s thing, you know? And as Hisashi stares at the man in question, it’s clear he no longer has any reason to indulge him.

“So, like– okay. Okay. Let me get this straight. You saw me and Olwin walk in covered in blue blood that is clearly not ours– you obviously can’t even see any of Olwin’s very super green blood anywhere– everybody else is also super not fucked up– I’m still getting around just fine even though I am fucked up– and you still–”

Hisashi cuts himself off with another harsh laugh, clearly finding something amusing.

As he does, he reaches over to Olwin and– okay, well, now he’s shoving his hand down the back of Olwin’s sweatshirt. Alright, then. There’s a split second where Olwin seems as perplexed as one would expect, but it quickly fades, and soon enough, Hisashi pulls his hand back out–

And all at once, this sudden shift in tone makes sense.

It likely takes a second or two to register what exactly Hisashi is now holding in his hand– the twisted black horn is, after all, harder to recognize removed from its hostess’s head. The same navy blue that splatters Olwin and Hisashi encrusts the base of it, bits of butchered skin still visible.

Hisashi holds Fumiko’s horn up for everyone to see, the gruesome trophy reflected in the near manic grin he wears.

“You really think I would lose a fight with Fumiko, you fucking moron? Me? Seriously? Like, are you actually fucking stupid? No– I kicked her shit in so that Olwin could shoot her in the head with the gun we bought from your own stupid shop, you dumb motherfucker. She’s dead. Surely you can do the math to figure out what that means, right?”

He laughs again, leaning back in his chair as he roughly tosses the horn onto the table. It slides and rolls before finally coming to a stop when it collides with Alou’s empty plate.

“But by all means– do go on about the motive.”

#mm trial #hisashi

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darlingyanderes · 3 years

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Can you do one with Muzan and Kokushibo (bad at spelling 😂) With y/n. You can choose the content

Hi thank you for your request!! I might have gone a little ham on this one, I recently watched a movie called “Forgotten” on Netflix, and it inspired me to write this! I hope you like it (and that it’s not a straight up rip-off of the movie ooop)

Warnings: (fake) illness, drugs, explicit gore, murder, demons eating humans, manipulation/gaslighting, badly written amnesia

Word count: 1731

Take your pills - Yandere!Muzan Kibutsuju x Fem!Reader x Yandere!Kokushibo

Muzan and Kokushibo were always right. Or at least, Y/N had to trust they were always right, since her memory is so fuzzy. When the three first met, they told Y/N that she was ill and needed treatment. They claimed it was still in the first stages, so Y/N of course didn’t notice anything yet. But as they took her to the doctor and got her these pills, her whole head has just become so fuzzy. It was hard to stay in the real world and she could barely remember what she had been doing 5 minutes ago. Y/N wrote it off as the effects of the disease and that it was progressing despite all the medication.

But some things were so odd. That doctor they took her to, was that her usual doctor? Who was that person? When did she start living at Muzan and Kokushibo’s house, and since when did they call her ‘bunny and ‘darling’? The more she thought about her situation, the more questions popped up, and the harder it became to find answers. How could she, when her conscious felt like it was floating in an endless sea?

In the end, thinking became too tiresome. She decided to save herself the useless trouble of looking for answers she wasn’t going to get, and just trust Muzan and Kokushibo. She must be ill, that’s why they’re giving her these drugs. She can’t think straight, that’s why they’re taking care of her. That’s all she knew, and all she had to know.

Y/N stood at the sink in the bathroom, with a pill and a glass of water in her hand. She was about to pop the pill in her mouth, when Muzan suddenly opened the door, startling her and causing the pill to fell out of her hand and beneath the sink.

“You scared me half to death!”

Muzan shot her an apologetic look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, bunny. I just wanted to tell you breakfast is ready. Did you take your pill today?”

Y/N looked at her empty hand. She thought that she hadn’t taken it yet, but it wasn’t in her hand. She tried digging through her memory, but it was no use: she didn’t remember even that. Judging from the glass of water in her hand and the absence of a pill, she probably took one. Right?

She grinned at him and said: “Of course! What’s for breakfast?”

---

Y/N awoke in the middle of the night, her eyes drowsily looking around the room. Despite having just woken up, she felt her mind was a bit clearer than it usually was. Rolling over in bed, she realised she was more aware of the softness of the sheets, the faint smell of Muzan and Kokushibo clinging to the fabric, and the warmth radiating from the empty spots where they usually slept.

Wait, empty spots?

Y/N sat up, patting the rest of the bed to see if Muzan and Kokushibo had somehow been lying at the very edges of the matrass, but it was all empty. Why were they both gone?

A scream suddenly ruptured the house. Though it was dampened by the walls, Y/N could tell it was a guttural scream of pure fear. It made the very hairs on her neck stand up. She was frozen in her bed, horrified at the silence that followed. She could only hear her own heart beat frantically in her chest.

Only when the scream came for a second time, did Y/N quickly move from the bed. The scream must have been coming from inside the house. There must be an intruder. Was someone hurting Muzan or Kokushibo? Or even worse, both of them?

She had to help them. Even if her presence would just be a distraction to stop whatever attacker was in their house for only a split second, that would be good enough.

She inched her way through the darkness of their house, following the noise, until she was right around the corner of the bathroom. The light inside was on and the screams of agony kept ringing in her ears. She grabbed her slipper as a make-shift weapon and braced herself, before jumping in the opening of the door and yelling at the top of her lungs: “Stop!”

But what she saw made her drop the slipper in her hand.

The screams weren’t coming from either Muzan or Kokushibo, but rather a deadly pale looking man in the bathtub. His eyes were red and his face was dripping with tears, snot, and blood. He was partially submerged in his own blood and was most likely the cause for all the red smears and hand prints on the bathroom tiles behind him. Even if Y/N was able to perform surgery on him, she could never save him; half of his abdomen had been hollowed out, his intestines draped out for all to see. He was littered with claw marks, and an occasional bite was missing from his limbs.

Right as Y/N had entered the bathroom, a bloodied hand had dug its way into him, tearing his flesh out. The hand belonged to Muzan, the usually neat and tidy man who now had wild eyes and a face smeared red. Kokushibo was crouching next to him, licking the blood off his fingers with that same feral look in his eyes.

With a hopeless dread in her stomach, Y/N fell to her knees. They were demons. She had been living with demons this entire time. Monsters, vicious killers, who posed as loving humans so they could have a cover and continue eating humans in peace. With shallow breaths, Y/N couldn’t stop staring at the man in the bathtub, whose horrifying final moments she was witnessing.

“Y/N? Y/N, it’s not what it looks like.”

Y/N gaze shifted to Muzan, who now turned his whole body towards her. He looked like a tiger about to pounce its prey.

“Go back to bed, Y/N,” added Kokushibo, who tried to show her a calming smile. All Y/N could see were his bloodied fangs.

Y/N shook her head fervently and crawled backwards away from them, tears stinging in her eyes. “You are monsters. You- You killed that man!”

Muzan frowned, before looking at Kokushibo. “The pills should’ve prevented this, right?”

Kokushibo stalked towards Y/N, who couldn’t move away fast enough. “I suppose there’s something we could still do to make this right.”

---

When Y/N opened her eyes, she was back in the bed. Light was shining through the curtains, announcing the start of a new day. For a moment she was lost in the warm comfort of the bed and the two bodies surrounding hers, but then she suddenly remembered the events of last night.

Her eyes shot wide open and she gasped when she saw Muzan’s face right in front of hers. With his usual gentle smile, he whispered: “Good morning, darling.”

When he attempted to brush her hair out of her face, she flinched backwards, suddenly scared of the long claws on his hands. However, she didn’t get far: Kokushibo pressed himself against her back and wrapped his arms around her stomach. After he pressed a lazy kiss on her neck, he said: “What’s wrong, bunny?”

“You killed him.”

“What?”

“You killedhim. How could you do such a thing?”

Muzan once again moved his hand to caress her face, this time succeeding since Y/N didn’t have enough room to dodge him. With a carefully crafted worried look on his face, he said: “Sounds like you had an awful nightmare.”

Y/N frowned. “What? A nightmare?”

It was quiet for a while. Kokushibo propped himself up on his arm so he could look Y/N in the face. He looked grave as he asked: “Y/N, did you take your pill yesterday?”

Y/N opened her mouth to say yes, but stopped. She didn’t remember if she took one. Did she take one? No matter how much she dug in her memory, she just didn’t know.

Seeing the confusion on her face, Muzan sighed and shook his head. As he stroked her cheek with his thumb, he spoke: “You always had terrible nightmares before we took you to the doctor. You’d wake up and be so, so scared, just like you are now. The nightmares seemed so real to you, but they aren’t. They’re just nightmares.”

Kokushibo backed him up as he rubbed Y/N’s shoulder. “We were by your side the whole night, bunny. Right here in this bed.”

Something was wrong. She knew what she saw that night. But then again, why would they have any reason to lie? If they really were demons, they’d just eat her up if she witnessed them doing something like that, right? Demons wouldn’t care if they had to kill one more human, it’d just mean an extra meal for them. And they surely wouldn’t take care of someone like her like this. They must be right. They just have to be. Otherwise it just doesn’t make sense.

This illness really was messing with her head and her sense of reality. She felt like a fool. How could she possibly think that they’d do something like that, when they were always so kind and patient with her? She really was an idiot. In a small voice, Y/N said: “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, darling, we know it’s hard.”

Kokushibo reached over to the nightstand on his side of the bed and grabbed a pill and the glass of water on top of it. Meanwhile, Muzan sits Y/N up straight, keeping his arm around her shoulders and his hand resting in hers.

“Open wide,” Kokushibo said as he held the pill in front of her mouth. When Y/N opened it, she received a pat on her head. “Good girl.”

She couldn’t help but feel this nagging in the back of her head. Something wasn’t right here. The gentle smiles on their faces, and the way Muzan patiently held out the glass of water for her. There was something hidden behind her eyes, but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Was it really just the illness that was making her feel this way?

Finally, Muzan pressed the glass to her lips, forcing Y/N to take a sip and swallow the pill.

“From now on, we’ll make sure you take your pills, okay?”

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere kimetsu no yaiba x reader #yandere kibutsuji #yandere muzan x reader #yandere muzan kibutsuji #yandere muzan kibutsuji x reader #yandere muzan #yandere kibutsuji muzan #yandere kokushibo #yandere kokushibo x reader #yandere demon slayer x reader #yandere demonslayer x reader #yandere demon slayer #yandere muzan x reader x kokushibo #yandere muzan kibutsuji x reader x kokushibo #yandere kokushibo x reader x muzan #yandere kokushibo x reader x muzan kibutsuji

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wincore · 3 years

Text

romeo roulette | jung yoonoh

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

summary: if finding your soulmate is the same as a damn game of russian roulette, you are determined to not pull the trigger at all. except, you know who your soulmate is and he doesn’t—and given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear.

genre: soulmate au, office au, fake dating, fluff (a lot), angst (a little), romcom, magical realism (??)

words: 21.2k

warnings: language

song recs: playlist here !

a/n: behold ! a kdrama compressed in a fic ! ok i was lying there was more than a little angst but all in good fun <3 i have never experienced working in an office (thanks to the panny) but i tried making it as accurate as i could !! hope you have fun with this <3

It’s not that you’ve never been looked at with a lover’s gaze, it’s just that whatever look Jaehyun has been giving you is mildly uncomfortable. It’s not supposed to be that way. Hell, even his hand clasping yours are a little too clammy for your liking.

Jung Yoonoh. Get your act together.

You wish he were a better actor than this. For someone used to eyes on him in each and every room he’s in, he’s not very good at making eye contact. You’ll be saving this performance. Not to stroke your own ego but at least you know how to behave under strong gazes.

There are three people staring at the two of you and your fingers intertwined, scrutinizing your postures and the expressions on your faces. Maybe Jaehyun should face them instead of glancing at you wordlessly. He’s a terrible liar for someone who acts so smooth.

You look up with a short smile. The aforementioned three are your coworkers—former class rep at uni and your current boss Doyoung, your friend Soojin and Jaehyun’s friend Sicheng from IT. None of them look happy—like it concerns them. If there was a competition for nosy coworkers, this entire group would be winning awards left and right (and that’s including you).

They’re going to find out, an annoying voice giggles inside the quiet corner of your brain. Like hell, they will. You didn’t take up acting lessons in college for nothing. You just need to focus on the details.

This whole charade dates its beginning to a week ago.

If someone were to tell you Jung Yoonoh from marketing is your soulmate, you would most certainly either laugh or take it as a genuine insult. Hence, you were glad when you found that he isn’t.

It was an accident. You had glimpsed at his soulmark, right below his collarbone, at a particularly wild office afterparty—and somehow, you thought it was fitting that his tattoo was a little red heart. For someone born on Valentine’s day (which you know from a night out with coworkers, not because you’re remotely interested), if his soulmark was not something as disgusting as a heart, it would be the textbook definition of irony. But then again, fate is a funny thing. Your soulmark is a heart roughly the same size, with a little more intricacy in the form of a piercing arrow.

Despite all, however, if someone were to ask you if Jung Yoonoh is the worst person to be your soulmate, the answer is no. You can name at least five coworkers off the top of your head that you’d choose him over. You would choose him over Doyoung (and especially his nagging), you would choose him over Taeyong because he’s too hot and you also don’t like men in a higher position than you are, you would choose him over Jungwoo because you suspect he’s secretly a furry. Jaehyun is certainly better than your deskmate Dongmin who, despite an angelic smile, is: a) too distant to make actual conversation with, and b) in a relationship despite being your soulmate. Sweet-tempered Dongmin doesn’t even know it’s you. You’d love to be the bearer of bad news but this one—you’re not exactly ready for it yourself.

So that’s the explanation for why you hunted down Jaehyun and in a desperate attempt to not seem pathetic, coerced him into a role that has carefully picked benefits for either of you. You just have to bite the bullet sometimes.

“And I get what out of this?”

“Me? Temporarily, that is.”

Jaehyun laughs in amusement and you drop your smile, almost offended. If you were a gift, you’d certainly be an attractive, spicy, hot one—he doesn’t have to look at you so incredulously. In a neat business suit, Jaehyun is as kempt as ever though his tie could do with some more work. As an HR assistant, his appearance pleases you. However as a person, the perfection annoys the hell out of you. He could show himself to be more human. It would make your job (both the actual and the metaphorical) easier.

“I’m leaving,” he announces with a nonchalant exhale. “You keep messing around during work hours like this and people are going to think you’re jobless.”

“Wait!”

You jog up to him and block his path, crossing your arms as you huff at his indignance.

“I said no,” he repeats, and when he tries to evade you, you push him back with your palm flat against his chest. Jaehyun doesn’t show any more discomfort than usual, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You haven’t found your soulmate, right?” you say, taking a deep breath. If you have to resort to psychological warfare, so be it.

His smile wavers and he straightens, no longer leaning against the printer desk. “No. How does that matter?”

“It matters because you’re going to be my pretend-soulmate. Now, don’t be a pussy.”

He opens his mouth and closes it, furrowing his eyebrows. “You can’t always trick me into doing what you want.”

“I’ll ask Doyoung if you say no.”

“See—enough with the tricks, they don’t work anymore. I’ve known you for two years.”

“I really will ask him.”

“Not convincing enough. You don’t even talk to Doyoung outside work.”

You groan into your hand, taking a few moments to come up with another plan. How is your obvious charisma not enough? You certainly can’t tell him how rejected you feel with the whole Dongmin situation even if his rejection hasn’t officially come yet. It’s too embarrassing for a grown adult to go through. You don’t mind being lonely for the rest of your life if you’re successful. There’s a price tag on each decision you make anyway.

“I’ll treat you to lunch every day. I’ll pay.”

You cross your arms, tapping your foot in anticipation. They say the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. Besides, Jaehyun hates spending his lunch money on himself. This ought to do something.

Jaehyun places his hand in front of his mouth in mock surprise. “Oh no, out of your beloved paycheck? That’s kind of scary, honestly.”

“Jaehyun. Stop messing around. I’m being serious.”

He purses his lips, hesitation across his face. You don’t like the way he thinks, with quiet, lost eyes and no clear giveaways on his lips.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

You smile in relief though you try somewhat to not let it show on your face.

“On one condition.”

Your eyes dart across his face, nothing that tells what he might suggest next. You hate when you don’t get to decide on things.

“You have to come visit my family next month and pose as my soulmate—”

“No way.”

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.”

You stare at him, weighing the odds.

“Fine,” you say finally, voice pitched in slight annoyance.

Jaehyun shrugs.

“But I tell my parents that I rejected you. Or they’ll come after you with a task force or something.”

You mutter the last part.

He grimaces, holding his breath for a good few seconds and then letting it go.

“Alright. It’s not like mine and your parents know each other—or will ever meet.”

“Fine then,” you say. “We have an agreement.”

“We have an agreement,” he repeats.

Now, back to more pressing matters. The people in front of you aren’t a stupid lot—even if you've seen Doyoung spend $500 on plush toys, seen Sicheng absentmindedly walk into a desk and pretend to not be in pain for the next five minutes and Soojin somehow convinced a senior to get her coffee because she thought he was an intern (in her defence, it worked).

The only way is to act through. You clear your throat.

"We… we discovered it last week. Our signs match."

Technically, you drew an arrow with a permanent marker over Jaehyun's tattoo in an attempt to resemble yours. It's not awful, but perhaps not perfect.

“Discovered? Like just happened to find out?” Doyoung asks.

“Isn’t Jaehyun’s on…” Soojin leans in to whisper hurriedly in your ear. “On his butt? Did you guys sleep together?”

You contort your face in disgust. “The what? What? Who told you that? And no.”

Soojin makes an ‘ah’ sound and leans back. “I should stop listening to office rumours then.”

"You should." You glare at her.

Sicheng is the only one without questions at the tip of his tongue but the look on his face worries you most.

“I’ve never seen your tattoo, now that I think about it,” he muses, turning to Jaehyun. “Although we’re roommates.”

Jaehyun clears his throat, looking around with shifty eyes. "Why is… why is everyone looking so suspicious?"

"It's just… so sudden," Soojin says, looking around at the others.

"Yeah," Sicheng mutters.

"Soulmate fraud is a big deal too, you know that right?" Doyoung informs. "You could get put in jail."

You throw up your hands in exasperation. "Why would we pretend? We don't have any reason to. And, uh, you're sure about the jail thing?"

You look at Doyoung, hoping your question didn’t come off too squeaky.

"You’re right,” he says, sighing. “It’s so unlikely for soulmates to work in the same company, let alone the same building.”

“Oh, yes, I’m so lucky,” you mutter under your breath.

Doyoung sighs. "Look, we're happy for you. It's just that… it's a little sudden."

"Literally what I just said," Soojin says.

"Literally what she just said," Doyoung agrees quickly, not wanting to pick a fight. Sometimes you wonder who the real boss is.

"Look, just because we don't even acknowledge each other or find each other remotely attractive or wouldn't even be each other's office Christmas card candidate—"

Jaehyun nudges your side with his elbow and gives you a look that seems a lot like "You're making it worse".

You clear your throat. "That's what happens to most soulmates! You think you're going to land the perfect one and boom. You get a chump from marketing."

Jaehyun makes a sound of protest. "I didn't want a snob from HR either."

The two of you glare at each other, and you find that clenching his jaw makes Jaehyun slightly (around 0.05%) more attractive, or at the very least more bearable to look at.

Doyoung gasps. "Okay, I get it. You're having adjustment issues. I know a guy for that. He's helped every newly found soulmate couple adjust with each other."

"We don't need that," you interrupt, offering your fakest smile.

"You do," Doyoung responds, his smile equally fake. "I'll drive you this weekend if you're free. He’ll give you one free session. No more, because we all know how capitalism works."

People have got to stop copying your fake smile. You wish you could have it copyrighted because after all, it’s the same smile that tricks interviewees into thinking they got the job. It’s not evil if you say it isn’t. You open your mouth, look at Jaehyun doing the same and when you can't come up with an excuse, give up and nod.

"Don't look so resentful," Doyoung says, tone slightly complaining. "I'm not doing this as your boss. We were friends in college and I'm just doing you a favour. A friendly favour."

Soojin hums in deep thought. "I feel like this is some sort of nepotism."

"I feel like you should open a dictionary once in a while," Doyoung mutters, only to get a vaguely threatening look from Soojin.

"Anyway," Sicheng diverts, eyes curious when he turns to Doyoung. "Why did you call us here?"

"Ah." Doyoung's eyes widen. "I heard promotion rumours."

Sicheng lets out a loud huff of annoyance. "You summoned us here for company gossip?"

Doyoung crosses his arms. “So, you’re not interested?”

“Who said that?” Sicheng responds quickly, leaning in.

The five of you huddle closer in a circle, looking as conspicuous as a cult.

“You guys know that Jinyoung’s leaving, right?” Doyoung starts.

Soojin gasps audibly only to get a smack on the arm from Doyoung. “Why’s he leaving? He's like employee of the month every month. ”

A few chuckles pass through the group at her discontentment from months of losing out on the title.

“I heard he found his soulmate. Lucky ass gets tax benefits too now,” Sicheng complains. “Why is he leaving?”

“Oh, look who’s interested in gossip now,” Soojin coos.

Sichengs turns red in the face and looks away, clearing his throat. “You’re gonna answer my question, Doyoung?”

“Oh! Right.” Doyoung looks up from a text. “He got rejected by his soulmate.”

Soojin covers her mouth this time when she gasps and you can’t say your jaw doesn’t drop as well.

“Rejected? Like our picture-perfect Jinyoung got rejected?” you repeat, trying to process the information. “Please don’t tell me he decided to be an idiot and sign a mutual rejection.”

“No, he didn’t lose his senses,” Doyoung responds with a duh undertone. “He’s getting the compensation money.”

You sigh. “Man, I feel bad for him.”

Jaehyun hums in agreement. There’s a hush over the group and you feel fear rise in your chest. You don’t want to be rejected. You’ve seen how happy Dongmin looks with his girlfriend—he’d reject you in a heartbeat. Of course, you could just receive the compensation money from the one-sided rejection and get it over with but you refuse to. It hurts to not be wanted. It hurts to not be wanted by someone who’s supposed to want you. To be specific, it hurts your pride. Every time you see the damn arrowed heart on Dongmin’s wrist, which he tries so hard to cover with his watch, you feel like throwing up. You’re glad yours isn’t as easy to spot—resting right above your hip bone.

“Anyway, someone’s getting promoted to that HR specialist position.”

You gasp. “Is it me? It’s me, right?”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and you elbow him. “What’s with you?”

“Don’t get too excited,” he says, shrugging. “Isn’t it stupid to get your hopes up over a rumour?”

Doyoung breathes out. “Wow, (name) really sucked the life out of you, Jaehyun.”

You glare at him when Soojin breaks into a fit of laughter. “You- you know what that- you know what that sounds like, right?”

Your face contorts into disgust and you shake your head. “Let’s be more professional, alright, Soojin?”

She clears her throat and straightens her clothes, like a teenager being reprimanded. “I’m your senior. It’s embarrassing when you say that to me.”

Jaehyun speaks up and turns to you. “I think lunch break is almost over.”

You raise an eyebrow. “So?”

“You’re forgetting something.” He smiles, dimples showing, but his eyes come off menacing.

“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You forgot about that stupid lunch promise.

“Hey. Professional,” Soojin warns.

You groan and link your arm through Jaehyun’s, making him bite back a smile. What is it with men and getting weirdly happy about lunch?

“We’re gonna go get lunch,” you announce.

“Ooh, (name)’s ditching quality time with coworkers for dates now,” Soojin coos.

You roll your eyes and exit the office, stopping to wait in front of the elevator.

“I think that went well,” Jaehyun says, shrugging lightly.

“Shh. What if they hear us?”

“Do you think they’re X-men? We’re a long corridor and closed doors away.”

You huff, crossing your arms. “Still…”

Jaehyun’s smug smile makes you want to smack it right off and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt this way with him. You swear he’s not as bad as some of the guys you’ve met but Jaehyun is simply annoying. An A grade nuisance. You can trust him though. If Soojin says he’s a reliable guy, you’ll believe her—she doesn’t bluff when it comes to seeing right through men, though she does have a tendency to believe stupid rumours.

“Your acting was shit though,” you snipe.

Jaehyun lets out a low sardonic laugh. “At least I was subtle when I was messing up.”

You cross your arms and huff. “You know what? You can take the next elevator ride.”

“Huh?”

You step into the elevator just as the doors open and quickly jam your finger to the close doors button. The look of betrayal on Jaehyun’s face is subtle but it’s enough to satisfy you. As the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens—it’s very applicable to elevators. He can take the other one.

However, almost immediately after, the elevator doors open and you groan, opening your mouth to send a sarcastic congratulations to Jaehyun for pressing the button on time.

Your words hitch on your tongue. Dongmin greets the two of you with a smile, standing beside Jaehyun, who has his eyes averted from you.

“Hey,” Dongmin greets. “Congratulations. I heard the news.”

“Thanks,” you croak, clearing your throat with a bit of heat on your cheeks. Jaehyun looks like he might burst into a fit of laughter any moment and you shoot him a subtle glare.

“Where are you headed to?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m going to grab a sandwich from the cafeteria.”

“We’re also headed to the cafeteria,” Jaehyun declares, with a smile that’s almost devilish.

“No, we’re not,” you say quickly, making Dongmin raise an eyebrow. You hold back a groan. If only Dongmin weren’t raised to be the politest man you know and a little bit more of an asshole.

You hum and turn to Jaehyun. “I told you about that new cafe. Remember, honey?”

Dongmin makes an ‘o’ with his mouth. “Nicknames, already? Ah, I’m so jealous. It must be great to get along with your soulmate.”

Oh, the sweet summer child that Dongmin is.

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “Oh, won’t it take too long, darling? We have—”

He makes a show of checking his Rolex, a gift he received from his superior that he spares no chance to flex.

“—Around ten minutes left.”

You hold back a groan and plaster on your smile. “Come on. Now is the best time.”

“That sounds like a load of—”

You elbow Jaehyun hard in the gut and a restrained sound dies in his throat, eyes widening in the sweet look of discomfort taking over his features. You smile triumphantly and turn to Dongmin with an immediate change of expression.

“I’ll see you in office later,” you say, bowing slightly.

Dongmin nods and gets off on the fifth floor. You watch in quiet relief as the elevator door closes and turn to your dear companion, irked.

“Did you have to do that?” Jaehyun asks, voice raspy with pain.

“You deserved it. Don’t you dare make this a bigger mess than it already is.”

“You came up with it.” Jaehyun straightens, finally. Apart from the few loose strands of his neatly parted hair, he doesn’t seem all that disgruntled.

“And we’re going to set some ground rules,” you declare, closing your arms.

Jaehyun straightens to his full height, the space between the two of you diminishing.

"Okay," he agrees. "Then we both get a say in it. It's a contract, after all."

"Fine. First rule, no being weird around Dongmin."

Jaehyun chuckles. "I think you need to be more careful about that than I do."

You pat his cheek. "Focus. Just don't- don't be around him for too long."

Jaehyun purses his lips. "Why are you so uncomfortable around him? I thought you were doing this because you didn't want to reject him."

You glance away, feeling uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter. I just don't want him to know."

Jaehyun hums. "Fine. My turn. No calling me a chump."

Your cheeks puff up as you try to contain your laughter. "It bothered you that much, huh?"

Jaehyun furrows his brows. "No one's ever called me that before. It's always 'oh my god, he's so handsome, who is he?' or 'ooh, I might faint from how hot he is'."

You giggle. "Alright, handsome."

Jaehyun exhales, his puffed cheeks making him look like a resentful five year old instead of a grown man with a professional job. You pause before you get back on track.

“No nicknames,” you blurt. “It’s weird when you call me something endearing. And your flirting feels kind of threatening.”

“What do you mean, baby?”

“See! You’re doing it again.” You cross your arms at the look on his face; anything close to victorious over Jaehyun’s features is unbearable to you.

He raises his arms in exasperation. “How are we supposed to make this work if we act like we don’t care about each other. Guess why Doyoung’s taking us to couple therapy?”

You huff, slightly pissed off. “You’re saying it was my fault?”

“I’m saying we could have avoided that with better acting.”

“You think you’re so—”

The elevator door opens with a ding on the first floor and you turn to find a bunch of interns back from their lunch break. It would be much less of an awkward affair if you and Jaehyun weren’t well into each other’s personal spaces, noses almost touching and with a mutual glare which could be easily mistaken for a look of something more sensual. You jump away from Jaehyun and leave the elevator as fast as you can, feeling far too conscious of yourself. With long strides, you exit the corporate airs of the building to a sunny, fairly populous sidewalk.

Jaehyun catches up to you, bending and trying to catch a glimpse of your face with an incredulous smile over his.

“Don’t say a word, Yoonoh.”

“Ooh, you’re saying my name now.”

“This isn’t funny!”

“I find it plenty funny.”

“That’s because of your trash sense of humour.”

“Mhm.”

“Don’t look so smug.”

Mondays are the days that make you want to scream in agony, not Thursdays—though they are pretty high up on the worst days of the week list. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe pretending to be in love with someone you simply cannot be in love with is an awful idea.

Soulmates don’t need to be in love with each other, you think to yourself. There’s plenty of soulmates who are just in it for the financial benefits; you can just pretend to be one of them. This dilemma is starting to fray your nerves and Jung Yoonoh, with his lax disposition and dimpled cheeks, is making it worse. And to top it off, you now have to take him to your favourite (kind of secret) cafe in the name of the lies that slipped your tongue. It was supposed to be a quiet comfort spot for you.

You blow a puff of air out and dismiss the thought. Comfort spots aren’t real anyway when you’re all grown. There’s bound to be a breach.

However, you will not let the (lacking) romance department of your life get sorted out by someone who doesn’t even know you. Lady luck would be an acquaintance to you at most. If fate is a game of chance after all, you might as well be the one spinning the roulette. You look at Jaehyun, piecing together the perfect plan for this seemingly frivolous play-pretend. The game is in your hands now.

You blink at the figure of Jung Yoonoh under February sunlight on a modestly busy sidewalk. It’s not something to be surprised at—however, the stark contrast in attire makes you stare longer than you intend to. Wearing a black graphic hoodie and pair of worn out jeans, Jaehyun looks about as casual as you can bear. It’s always weird to see coworkers out of formal clothing.

“Are you just going to stare at me till Doyoung comes and picks us up?” he asks.

You roll your eyes.

“You look nice,” he says, and you glance down at your outfit with a flush of heat over your cheeks. It’s just a short A-line skirt, stockings and a sweatshirt. This is as basic as you get. What’s worse is that his comment didn’t sound sarcastic.

“You- You look nice too. I guess.” Once in a while, you will say something extremely stupid and pretend it never happened. The frequency increases around Jaehyun for some damn reason.

“You guess? I’m pretty sure I look more than nice.”

“And how long did you look at yourself in the mirror and practise catchphrases this time?”

Jaehyun’s ears turn the shade of cherries and you press down your smile. You knew that time you caught him talking to himself in front of a car window would play to your advantage.

“What’s that you’re holding?” you ask, eyeing the plastic bag he’s holding.

“Ginseng,” he answers, staring blankly at the cars passing by. “I heard the couples therapist is in his sixties so he might find it useful.”

“Oh, old people stuff,” you muse quietly. “That’s quite thoughtful of you.”

You should’ve brought something, you think for a moment before realizing that couples probably don’t give separate gifts.

“Thanks,” you mutter.

He raises an eyebrow. “For what?”

You shake your head. “Anyway, we might as well kill some time. Twenty questions. Let’s go.”

He laughs. “What are we, in college?”

You wrinkle your nose. “Don’t make us sound like we’re thirty. I bet you’re the kind of guy who has his retirement plan figured out.”

“Wrong,” he emphasizes, face leaning closer.

“Fine. I’ll start the questions, you unsalted block of butter. How many relationships have you been in?”

Jaehyun opens his mouth and closes it, ears turning red. “That’s your first question?”

You roll your eyes. “Okay. I’m guessing it’s single digit and on the lower side.”

He rolls his eyes. “How many relationships have you been in?”

You shut your mouth. There’s a moment of silence, a breeze passing you by, carrying winter away in its arms to make room for spring.

“Never found a relationship worth it,” you mutter, glancing away.

Jaehyun hesitates before opening his mouth. “Me neither.”

“Good thing for us, eh? Love makes people crazy.”

Jaehyun faces you with a clipped smile. Never did you think Jaehyun from marketing would be relating to you on a personal matter.

“Oh, but I’ve had enough hookups and I can bet you’re mediocre at best in bed.”

Jaehyun glares at you. “I am not and I can prove it to you.”

“Is that an invitation into your bed? No, thanks.”

He opens his mouth to retort but is interrupted by the Hyundai Grandeur pulling up to the sidewalk and rolling down the driver window to reveal Doyoung. He looks as overworked as usual, but his eyes are more tired, a bit of makeup covering the dark circles. You’ve heard his soulmate is a makeup artist for an idol group and wonder how they even came to be. Does fate throw darts randomly and pick its choice?

“Get in. Quick,” Doyoung instructs. “I have to drop you off and head home. My family is visiting. I didn’t even get a warning and they think I’m in a gay relationship with Taeyong because we still have our friendship rings from college.”

You want to laugh and agree but Doyoung looks rather pissed off so you hold it in. The two of you do as told, getting in the backseat and shutting the doors in sync. The car smells rather leafy mingling with the scent of fresh clothes and you eye the jar dangling from the rear-view mirror. You open your mouth to ask what scent that is when Doyoung’s voice rings out.

“What’s that?” Doyoung signals to the bag with Jaehyun.

Jaehyun looks down. “Ginseng extract.”

“Oh, the gift pack?” Doyoung asks.

Jaehyun nods and Doyoung chuckles, shaking his head. “If that’s for Mr. Lee, forget it. He hates gifts. Something about inward appreciation and shit.”

Jaehyun groans, massaging his forehead. “What do I do with this then? Is this guy a priest?”

“Give it to Doyoung,” you suggest. “His family’s visiting.”

You hear an audible hum of approval from the driver seat and turn to Jaehyun making a face of reluctance. Maybe he isn’t so magnanimous after all, you think smiling.

“You’re both quite tame today,” Doyoung remarks, just when the silence is starting to swallow the inside of the car. “Makes me wonder if you need Mr. Lee after all.”

“We actually don’t…” You shake your head. “We’re here and it’s free so why not?”

Jaehyun shoots you a questioning look. It’s not like you can cancel when you’re in Doyoung’s car and already on the way. You’ve known your boss long enough to know the wrong answer to his questions. You look outside at Seoul streets and sigh.

Jaehyun looks at you, your focus elsewhere and wishes this would end already. He has no idea what overcame him to accept your ridiculous offer but he must be just as ridiculous. At the very least, he finds you quite lovely to look at—not that he’d ever admit it to you. The foundation to this weird bickering friendship (if he can call it that) would be ruined by that. His ego, however, has been boosted up a few notches from the fact that you called him for help. He looks outside the window, holding back a smile. It’s a sunny day.

The therapist, Mr. Lee’s office building is a fancy one with an even fancier lobby. Baby pink leather couches cushion your bum nicely as you wait for your appointment. The architecture is that of a corporate firm and you feel quite at home with the large glass walls by the revolving door. This therapist guy must be rich as hell. The receptionist wears a formal uniform; her blouse is light pink with a grey pencil skirt and you like the look of it. You wonder if asking her where she bought it is time-appropriate. More couples sit around you and you, unfortunately, have to scoot closer to Jaehyun as a result. You do not want to catch that disease they all have. Why are they even here for therapy if they’re smiling at each other in that sickly enamored way?

Now that you’re here, you’re starting to feel that this arrangement was ill-decisive. You should’ve done a better job of acting. You wonder if you can get a refund for that college course on acting, pouting as the ticking wall clock gets on your nerves. Even the marble floors are pink; the walls are mahogany red and there’s a heart-shaped wall clock, and should you glance around more, you’re going to nauseate yourself. This guy certainly takes his job seriously—or just really likes pink-red themes.

A woman in her early thirties exits the elevator and announces your names, and you click your tongue at the fact that she used Jung for your surname. It sounds distasteful.

You follow her, starting to get nervous. You really hope this Mr. Lee isn’t as good as Doyoung says he is. Your fraud falling apart within three days is too embarrassing a defeat, not to mention bordering on illegal if found out. What the fuck does the government care about broken hearts and beneficial relationships? It’s so nosy. You understand the financial situation in case of happily bonded soulmates but apart from that, there really shouldn’t be this much discrepancy in the name of love.

Love drives people crazy. You’d rather not lose your good sense in the name of something so inane. After all, money makes the world go around, not love.

Restricting a gag at the deep red heart on the door, you push them open with Jaehyun to find an old man sitting on a similar baby pink couch as in the lobby. He gets up to greet the two of you, the wrinkles on his face deepening when he smiles. Despite everything, he has a sort of grace to him, the one that comes with growing old elegantly. An upbeat song plays on a record player attached to the wall, although at a very low volume, and the tune reminds you of Animal Crossing.

“Doyoung told me about the two of you,” Mr. Lee says, gesturing at the two of you to sit down. “How long has it been since you found out?”

“Six days,” you answer at the same time Jaehyun answers, “Four days”.

The two of you look at each other.

“Four-Six days. We didn’t keep track.”

“Ah,” Mr. Lee says. “How do you propose to celebrate your anniversary?”

You hesitate opening your mouth and declaring that you don’t really need to do that crap. Mr. Lee notices your expression and breaks into gentle laughter.

“I’m kidding. Anniversary dates don’t matter,” he laughs. “It’s okay to celebrate your 100-day on the wrong day. Don’t worry.”

You purse your lips. To your dismay, Jaehyun isn’t as bothered by the sickly pink environment and Mr. Lee’s relaxed demeanour.

“I have a hundred percent success rate,” Mr. Lee assures the two of you, looking directly at you.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” you mutter under your breath and get a nudge from Jaehyun, who has his politest smile on.

You can’t believe Jaehyun has a better customer service mode than you do. If you didn’t know him, you’d be fooled into thinking he’s the nice guy character every office has. Unfortunately, that one goes to Dongmin. You hate getting stuck with nice guys (unless they offer financial stability).

“I think Doyoung might have been exaggerating,” Jaehyun explains calmly. “Whatever he told you.”

“He told me the two of you have a bickering problem. And staring at each other when the other isn’t looking.”

You cough. “That is not true. The staring part.”

Jaehyun narrows his eyes at you. “I knew you were checking me out,” he mutters.

You roll your eyes. “Keep dreaming, Jaehyun.”

Mr. Lee laughs. “Your bickering seems to be quite affectionate. I don’t know what that boy was worried about.”

You press your lips together into a thin smile, annoyed that anyone would ever describe your interaction with a man as affectionate. It makes you feel like an idiot. You were always better off alone—the universe was wrong to assign Dongmin to you. Maybe you needed to see the apparent love of your life clearly in love with someone else to snap you to reality.

“However, what is a playful lover’s fight in the beginning can turn into real fights.”

“Right,” you mutter. “It’s all fun and games in the beginning.”

“The two of you have almost no animosity—you’ve known each other before you discovered the soulmark, right?”

The two of you nod, having already reconciled yourselves to this session. It’s a one-time thing, you tell yourself. It will be over soon.

“The soulmate information shouldn’t influence the relationship you already had. If anything, it should be drawing you closer. First time awkwardness is common.”

He’s starting to sound a lot like your high school sex ed teacher. You get the idea to pretend to be sick and get out of this early.

“Company policy too,” Jaehyun mutters. “Unofficial company policy makes office romance out to be some sort of sacrilege.”

“You know, I was the CEO of your company so I do know the policies,” Mr. Lee says, smiling in the confident, reserved way senior citizens offering wisdom do.

You choke on the water you were taking a sip of, a coughing fit overcoming you and Jaehyun hesitates before awkwardly patting your back.

“Huh? CEO? I’m sorry?” you manage.

Mr. Lee lets out a loud, hearty laugh. “I stepped down two years ago.”

“That’s when I joined,” you and Jaehyun say at the same time.

Mr. Lee smiles at the two of you wordlessly. “I have an idea for the two of you. Why don’t you try turning your ‘I’s into ‘we’s? Do some activities together and when you talk about it, you’ll find yourself much closer.”

You narrow your eyes. “You know, Mr. Lee, I’m a little curious about your relation with the company—”

“My recommendations won’t help you get promotions faster.”

“Dammit.”

Jaehyun chuckles beside you but a glare from you turns it into a suppressed smile. The one thing that wouldn’t be a waste of time opened its door and closed it right back.

“But you know how promotions work,” you press, leaning forward.

An alarm rings, so pleasant in tone that you know it’s a Samsung. Unfortunately, it’s the ugly flip model and you question Mr. Lee’s taste (and wealth).

“Oh, look, time’s up,” Mr. Lee announces, and you think you catch a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Jaehyun springs up before his ears turn red, embarrassed by the gusto with which he himself got up and looks at you expectantly. You get up, sighing.

“Next time, Mr. Lee,” you warn. “I will get those details.”

“I charge by the hour.” He smiles.

“Stop threatening the therapist,” Jaehyun mutters to you, taking your arm and turning to leave.

“Oh, and,” Mr. Lee calls. “It’s always better to be honest than to pretend.”

You blink in surprise when Jaehyun tugs at your arm, bowing in thanks and leaving the room with you.

“Was it just me or did he see through us?” you whisper to Jaehyun.

He shakes his head, whispering back, “There’s no way he could tell. He’s probably referring to something else.”

“Like what?”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer.

“Tell me, are you always so domineering towards strangers even?” he asks. “I just thought you liked to press my buttons because I’m easygoing.”

You scoff. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not as cool as you think you are, especially since you get so hot and bothered by me.”

“It’s just you,” he whispers earnestly and your pulse rises. “No one else.”

You cough to kill the awkward silence and walk faster to the elevator. Jaehyun follows at a leisurely pace and it’s never occurred to you before but the sound of someone’s footsteps can also be annoying, proof currently standing beside you.

The elevator doors open, and much to your appallment, a young couple happens to be full blown making out inside the elevator, hands where there certainly shouldn’t be in broad daylight. Jaehyun whips his face away, clearing his throat loud enough for the couple to detach themselves from each other and hurriedly exit, fixing their clothes on the way.

“So he wasn’t lying about the success rate,” Jaehyun states quietly, a look of resigned horror on his face.

You can’t even respond for a few moments, following him into the elevator and shaking your head to get rid of the thought that inevitably jams itself inside your head. It might have a point, however.

"Maybe we should kiss too," you think out loud.

Jaehyun stiffens, looking at you with wide, fearful eyes. "No."

"We have to kiss, we're dating!" You exclaim, hands on your hips.

"We're not actually—ah, whatever. It’s not worth bickering with you."

"Why? Afraid you'll fall in love with me?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, and you’re suddenly aware that your bickering keeps drawing you closer to each other, your faces nearer than you’d realized.

"If anything," he starts with a confident smile. "You better not fall in love with me."

"Oh, please. You're taking this way too seriously."

"You're the one that wants to kiss me."

Your cheeks heat up. "You're- I- That's not—argh, fuck you."

Jaehyun looks smug, and you have the unstoppable urge to punch it off his face. You take a deep breath. Violence is not the way, (name).

“If we were a few years younger, you’d be begging for mercy under me,” you seethe.

Jaehyun’s eyes shift over your face in confusion, ears burning bright red with each passing second. Before he can open his mouth, you let out a short yell.

“Not like that, you pervert,” you say, leaning away from him.

“I didn’t even say anything. On an unrelated note, were you a delinquent in school?”

You roll your eyes. “Kind of. I had a temper and a sharp tongue.”

“And now you’re a people pleaser. That’s quite the development.”

You smack his shoulder. “You’re getting on my nerves, punk.”

He makes an ‘oh’ with his mouth before smiling. “You totally did the delinquent accent.”

“I’m guessing you were the shy, little boy who flushed red at conversations about kissing.”

Jaehyun clears his throat in annoyance. “I was not. I was quite popular in high school and college, you know?”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “It’s that face of yours.”

“Sorry, what? I didn’t catch that.”

“Oh, look, we’re on the first floor.” You exit the elevator, leaving a puzzled Jaehyun to follow in stumbling steps.

“I don’t think Doyoung’s picking us up,” you state. “You take the bus? Or do you have a car to flex? I don’t ride in anything below a Tesla, unless it’s Doyoung because he’s technically my boss.”

“You’ll have to do with good old rented Hyundais,” he answers.

You exhale. Maybe he’s getting used to you. The bus stop is opposite the building, the structure squeaky clean and a bunch of people waiting on the seats. It’s a busy place and you wonder if the scammy-therapist-slash-your-former-ceo’s business has anything to do with that. You sit the first chance you get, shoulders pressed against Jaehyun’s for the lack of space and admiring the passing traffic. Seoul really just depends on the lenses you see through. Work days make the screen tinted grey and blue and you hate them often but some days, it’s good to experience those. Weekends are brighter, sunny and usually not with Jaehyun but he doesn’t really put a damper on them either.

You scan his side profile, a little envious when you realize that his confidence isn’t misplaced. You might have trained yourself to be more of a pleaser over the years but he’s the sort of person people come to like naturally. Moreover, his skin is perfect and his hair is always looking styled even in a mess. Fate and Life are partners in crime when it comes to being unfair.

Jaehyun turns to look at you and you snap your head to your lap, turning on your phone and staring at the homescreen for a good few seconds.

“Twenty questions,” Jaehyun announces. “Let’s play again. I’ll go first. Do you check me out when I walk away?”

“What is this, playing my own cards against me?” You scoff. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“So, yes or no?”

“Sometimes,” you mutter. “But it’s not the good kind of checking out. I’m checking out how terrible you look with your mess of a tie.”

Jaehyun laughs, the sound a hearty rumbling sort and you can’t help but smile back at that. It’s kind of cute when he laughs—the sound of it and the way his cheeks are dusted pink.

“My turn,” you say with a cheeky smile as you lean in to whisper. “Have you ever had a wet dream about me?”

Jaehyun chokes on air, coughing out the surprise as he stares at you dumfound. You stick the tip of your tongue out and throw him a wink, thoroughly enjoying this victory against him. It feels great to fluster someone like Jaehyun.

“No,” he says with clear emphasis.

“Even the night you said I was so unbearably hot very loudly to Sicheng?”

Jaehyun leans back sighing, covering his face with his hand. “I was tipsy. And it was my first night out with coworkers. Give me a break.”

You giggle. “Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were worse incidents that night. An intern threw up on Doyoung’s shoes—I can’t even imagine the horror the poor girl experienced.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, smiling through his hand.

“Have you ever sent nudes?” you ask, wiggling your eyebrows.

He sighs. “Maybe. Have you?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”

He curls his lips. The answer seems to be no but you’re at least seventy percent sure he would be attracted to you in a world where your personality traits weren’t being nosy and annoying.

“Do you think you’re a good kisser?” Jaehyun asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“Definitely.”

He scoffs, a smile tugging at his lips.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms.

He shrugs, leaning in slightly as though flirting (if he had the audacity). “We could test that.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “What happened to no kissing in the contract?”

“It’s not officially there.”

You roll your eyes, glancing away. “You know, I’m starting to believe you were some sort of desperate fuckboy in college.”

“I- I was the hottest dude on campus and if we went to the same college, you would be pining after me. I literally had the Campus Prince title and girls would follow me to see me in class.”

He crosses his arms, a frown tugging down his lips.

“Ooh, Jung Yoonoh’s getting fired up,” you say in a monotonous voice. “Wonder how many girls you pulled with your chewed up fuckboy dialogue.”

Jaehyun scoffs but he clearly finds your accusations amusing, as hinted by his unbothered smile. He asks a question again.

“What’s more important to you—truth or happiness?”

The question catches you off-guard. Jaehyun’s eyes are delicately curious, nothing too strong and even so, you find yourself holding your breath under his gaze.

“Huh?”

“Twenty questions. We were playing?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“Right.” You clear your throat, rubbing the back of your hand. “I… I’d choose happiness, I think. I’m… I’m not sure.”

“Really?” He doesn’t look too hellbent on taking apart your answer so you breathe out. He’s starting to pry into you finally. “I think the truth will make you happier.”

“That’s not- that’s not always true.” You look away, hoping the quietness of your voice ends the conversation there. You don’t know how to talk about it—you never really have. You’ve ugly cried over the lack of your love life to a stranger after five shots of whiskey but you don’t think you can talk about things like this sober. You don’t even know why you answered. Jaehyun makes you feel oddly comfortable.

Jaehyun shrugs, getting up when the next bus halts in front.

“What did you major in?” you ask, following him.

“Business,” he answers before thinking. “Kind of hated it. But I started out with IT and that was somehow worse.”

You gasp, taking a seat beside him on the bus. “I started with IT too! It was a nightmare. You took that Database Management course?”

Jaehyun smiles. “It was like the course equivalent of reading the back of a Wi-Fi Router.”

You laugh. Maybe he isn’t so different after all.

“You know, you do look like a business major,” you hum, furrowing your brows as you pretend to scrutinise him.

“So, you’re indirectly saying I either look like a rich kid or a jackass.” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“They’re both the same thing.”

The laughter from the two of you makes an old woman behind you grunt in displeasure and the two of you apologize. It’s nice to talk like college kids again. The Seoul sunlight shines on Jaehyun’s face and you bite back a smile when his dimples appear. They aren’t all that bad. If you get along like this, there’s no reason to worry about fate and the universe and other superfluous things offered to you on a boring old ceramic plate. It’s a smooth ride.

Your eyes drift to Dongmin’s workspace instinctively and you shake your head. This is exactly why you were avoiding him and even started the entire fake relationship with Jaehyun. You’d choose fake dating a (good-looking) chump from management over embarrassment and possible heartbreak any day.

You groan internally before glancing again and find the desk empty. Surprised, you blink and turn only to scream at Dongmin’s figure behind you.

“Shh!” he says urgently. “Don’t move. And don’t panic when I say this but there’s a bug on your shoulder.”

“What the fuck? Get it off, please,” you say, voice choking up.

Dongmin rolls up a stack of papers and you let out a low screech. “Don’t kill it on my shoulder!”

“Sorry,” he says and your eyes soften as he gently pushes the paper against your shoulder and takes it away. You breathe a sigh of relief and he signs you a thumbs up as he wiggles the paper in the air outside the window.

“You saved me,” you say, smiling.

He returns it, his most beloved eye smile making you wonder if you made the right choice. Wouldn’t it be fun to just crash everything and watch it burn? You know you want to. Benevolence and grace were never your style. However, it’s his smile again that stops you. Maybe you don’t really want to be the bad guy after all. You’re sparing him from confusion and dread.

You’re sparing yourself from rejection and inevitable loneliness (yay).

It’s been a week, discussing details with Jaehyun before the both of you collectively decided to just wing it and hope you’re not caught. After all, there’s no real way to prove you’re not soulmates if you’re careful enough (the same way you can’t prove someone’s cheating if they’re careful enough but that’s quite a depressing analogy). Perhaps if you renounce the soulmate benefits (and Dongmin didn’t smile as often at you), it would be less morally taxing. You, however, are greedy. When you want something, you’ll do anything to get it.

You stare at the computer screen and sigh, cross checking the employee records for incorrect data and your eyelids start to droop. Of all the days, you just had to be assigned the most boring task on a Friday. You also should’ve gotten sleep instead of getting mad at Jaehyun’s dry responses to your plan of action. It was perfectly viable; unnecessary, but perfect nonetheless.

Soojin rolls her chair backwards into yours. “We’re going drinking tonight. Wanna come? You can bring your boy-toy too.”

You roll your eyes. “As much as I’d love to call him that, he’s still the chump from marketing for me.”

“Or,” Soojin emphasizes. “Your actual soulmate. How lucky is it that you work in the same building, in the same company?”

“I’m not sure if you’re being ironic.” You scroll through the database with trained eyes.

“I’m not. A lot of soulmates don’t even get to see each other because of their line of work. It’s so tragic.”

You’d be glad if you didn’t get to see Dongmin ever too. But you’ll keep that to yourself. You hum in response and hear a sigh from behind you.

“Let’s have fun,” she whines. “Is Jaehyun that much of a downer? He’s one of the hottest dudes in the building. I thought you’d be cheery.”

You pause and think to yourself. She does have a point. You’re definitely supposed to look happier. Your soulmate has the looks of a model and fifteen year old you would fawn over him no doubt.

“It’s the work,” you answer. “I’m working overtime to compensate for my rent.”

You work overtime anyway because you hate heading home to an empty apartment.

“Ah, you signed a new lease, right? Near Songpa?” Soojin looks at you with pity and pats your shoulder. “You know what? I’ll treat you to drinks tonight. You deserve a day off, missy.”

You smile. “Thanks, Soojin.”

“And,” she adds in a singsong voice. “The love of your life is here.”

You furrow your eyebrows before tilting your head and almost sighing in exasperation at the figure of Jung Yoonoh outside the glass door. He may not show it, but you know distress when you see it. You’ve seen enough squirming undergraduates at company interviews.

You quickly get up from your seat, praying that he didn’t mess something up. However, you find it cute when he looks like this, the urge to fluster him even more presenting itself to be rather tempting.

“I think you have a sick obsession with me, Jaehyun.” You cross your arms after closing the door behind you.

He exhales, closing his eyes for a moment before taking your arm and pulling you away from the door.

“Woah, this isn’t high school. You can’t just pull me into a corner to make out.”

Jaehyun’s ears flare hot red and he clears his throat. “You’re in high spirits today.”

You weren’t, actually. Somehow, teasing Jaehyun gives you the same rush as caffeine. You just love when the nonchalance on his face turns into discomposure.

“I came to give Doyoung these files. Or you, since you’re practically his assistant.”

You ignore his comment. “There’s clearly something else.”

“The team sports event is coming up,” Jaehyun starts, hesitating. “I’m not managing it this year. I have to participate.”

“So?”

“So Dongmin has a higher chance of finding us out. What if he sees my mark in the changing room and it all goes to shit?”

“Great! He’ll think you’re his soulmate and I’ll be spared from this nonsense.”

“I’m being serious. It’s already difficult living with Sicheng and having to change with my doors locked. It’s kind of suspicious.”

“Do you guys sleep naked with each other or what?”

“No, but I do sleep with my shirt off.”

“Ugh. Why would you give me that image?” you complain. The image isn’t bad per se but it’s not what you need right now.

“You clearly liked it,” he mutters.

You furrow your eyebrows. “You’re not doing this just to give me a load of unnecessary anxiety, are you? Do you know how swamped with work I am?”

“No, of course not,” he answers, no indication of which question he answered. “Also, is there a reason Soojin’s glaring at me?”

You wave your hand in dismissal. “It’s just the haven’t-warmed-up-to-coworker’s-new-boyfriend glare. Don’t worry about it.”

He doesn’t seem too relieved but you have more anxious thoughts invading the privacy of your Friday evening. You have to keep up your composure. It could happen one way or another, perhaps in a situation better than a team sports activity, but you have to figure it out. You reject your soulmate anyway—the same way he would.

Glaring at Jaehyun one last time, you get back to your desk. Jaehyun looks at your receding figure and finds himself checking you out, the largest blow he’s taken to his dignity. He shakes his head, breathing in and out. This is so not like him. He’s supposed to be the suave, handsome guy who people can’t seem to get to and yet—yet, you do it so easily. It’s unfair. He swallows his heart and tells himself he’s too old to feel this way. He’ll just drown himself in work and pretend love is a commodity like everyone else with a corporate job is supposed to.

“You know,” Soojin starts when you get back. “Jaehyun kind of looks high if you look at him long enough. Weed is illegal though but who knows? Maybe he’s a bad boy deep down after all.”

“Which rumour have you been paying attention to now?” You sigh deeply.

Soojin laughs. “It’s funny to hear everyone’s opinions. Even if most of them turn into scandalous tall tales.”

“Anyway,” she continues. “I’m clocking out. I’ll get Jaehyun to take you to the sake bar.”

You look at her, puzzled.

“You’re a matching set now,” she follows up and you groan.

“Don’t give me that cr—”

“Toodle-oo! Let’s have some fun before we’re grey and old, eh?”

You sigh and nod. Maybe you should look into a caffeine fix, even if it costs you a mental power outage at the end of the rush. It’s not like you to be so down on a Friday but alas, Fate is as miserable a woman as you are. The sake bar is starting to sound good.

Or, you could always watch a few ASMR cooking videos instead of staring blankly at the employee records. Either way, this Friday better improve by tonight.

“This is going great,” Soojin says, louder than she probably intended after her fourth shot.

“Of course it is,” you mutter.

You haven’t yet had a chance to drink more because of two reasons: one) Soojin is hogging the alcohol and two) it would be embarrassing to get drunk in front of Jaehyun. Adding to your misery, Soojin has been gushing over her soulmate and the way she always makes breakfast for Soojin, listing off every single recipe she’s made. You would love to listen but you’re a tiny bit past your limit.

“Wooh, Jaehyun, you look hot,” Soojin whistles, in more of an older sister manner. “I can almost see your tattoo. Why don’t the two of you show us at the same time and we can take a commemorative picture?”

You cough loudly. “Mine’s on my waist, Soojin. I’m not ready to expose skin.”

“Right. Sorry.” She turns back at lightning speed to bother Dongmin with her stories, who smiles at her politely. It seems so genuine that you’re slightly enamored with it for a moment. There’s Jungwoo from marketing beside him, some more HR employees and thankfully, no interns. Doyoung is the only one partly miserable in the lot, talking into the phone for half an hour now.

“Shit.” Jaehyun nudges you and whispers, “I forgot about the tattoo. This T-shirt makes it very visible.”

You look at him, alarmed. You fix his jacket, startling him, and pull the zipper all the way to his neck, making sure to backhand him on the chin.

“There.”

“It’s hot in here.”

“What do you want me to do about it? God, you’re like a child.”

“I’m like a—okay. Just cover my tattoo with foundation or something.”

“You think I carry around a whole bottle of foundation?”

Jaehyun blinks, deeming it safer to keep his mouth shut.

“Okay. Fine. I have an idea. Come to the washroom with me.”

“Oh my, this isn’t your making out in the corner type of thing, right?��

You glare at him and he shuts up, following you quietly to the surprisingly clean restroom. The fact that it isn’t gendered makes you very glad. You make Jaehyun sit on the low enough basin counter and push your knee against it to balance yourself as you take out a permanent marker from your bag.

“I hope Doyoung doesn’t fire me for sneaking away,” you mutter angrily. “He didn’t even make me receive his calls all day.”

Jaehyun scoffs lightly. “Please, Doyoung adores you and your work ethic. He talks about it more than what I need to overhear. That and Taeyong’s detailed aquarium maintenance rules.”

“He does?”

Jaehyun clears his throat and you hold back bombing him with more questions till you’re done with painting an arrow into his tattoo.

“Isn’t it weird?” He looks at you with round, curious eyes. “Yours is a heart. Mine’s a pierced heart.”

“Hm. Funny coincidence.”

“Do you have to sit on my lap for this?”

“I’m not sitting on your lap,” you hiss. You are kind of close. You train your eyes on his collarbone as you pull his neckline down.

It would be so embarrassing to be caught like this. You’d rather be caught making out with someone in the broom closet. You hold back a pained sigh. Jaehyun has some nerve speaking to you when you’re already annoyed with him. Couldn’t he just have worn his business attire? Why does he get to go home early? Taeyong is far too lenient a boss. You start swearing internally, getting nervous when you think about the consequences of your actions.

“Has anyone ever filed a complaint against you?” Jaehyun asks, and you nudge his chin upwards to draw the line on his tattoo.

“For what? Being perfect and successful?”

“For that attitude. The ‘take what I want’ attitude.”

You roll your eyes. “No. You’re saying it like I’m awful to the core for trying to take what I want. I haven’t got such a bad soul, you know, as souls go. You wouldn't write articles about how good a soul it is but… it’s well enough.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow and you avert your gaze from his eyes. This sort of proximity shouldn’t be bothering you, you shouldn’t be rambling.

The door opens right then and in a fit of panic, you do the unthinkable. You press your lips to Jaehyun’s and pray that whoever walked in has no idea who you are and more importantly, can’t see the permanent marker in your hand.

“I’m so sorry!”

You know that voice. You half regret it when you hear it. Dongmin exits the bathroom as quickly as he entered and you pull away to look at the empty space. Beside you, Jaehyun stays so still that you forget he’s there for a moment. You breathe out in relief though part of you still feels a heavy ounce of regret.

You turn back to Jaehyun and find his doe eyes soft and lost in thought.

“I get it now,” Jaehyun whispers. “It must hurt. That he doesn’t care about the system.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That he’s so reckless about discarding you.”

You separate yourself from him further, standing up and brushing your clothes. “You’re overstepping.”

“Sorry,” he responds quietly.

There’s a pause.

“Did you just kiss me right now?”

“Shut up. I didn’t want him to see us and especially this.” You wave the marker in front of his face.

“You just kissed me in a fit of panic. That’s the first time I’ve seen someone respond to panic this way.” Jaehyun looks a little too smug.

“What are you implying?”

“You wanted to kiss me.”

You scoff. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

You want to knock the smile right off his face but you stick to flicking his forehead, his yell of surprise satisfying. This Friday night was supposed to get better. In fact, you are going to make it better if life won’t. The soju won’t drink itself and you deem that Soojin has had enough.

Ignoring Dongmin’s confused look, you order far too many soju shots to be considered healthy. As you promised yourself, you are going to make this Friday better.

You just had to go and get drunk. Jaehyun stares at you, blinking slowly and wondering just how much you can embarrass yourself before it becomes a burden for him. He has to get you home; you’re practically a matching set now. But are the halves of a pair supposed to take care of the other when they get drunk?

“You know what, guys?” You announce, standing up abruptly and immediately getting pulled back to your seat by Jaehyun. It doesn’t stop your mouth however.

“I hate the stupid system,” you continue. “To tell the truth—”

He smacks his hand over your mouth. Jaehyun has had enough of the silent mini heart attacks you give him. The rest look at him with puzzled looks and he can’t even bring himself to give them a polite smile before dragging you out of the bar. The night breeze is cold enough—maybe it’ll sober you up.

"You're so annoying, Jaehyun," you mutter, massaging your forehead. "Did you know that?"

Or maybe it won’t.

"Never heard that before."

"How do you always keep to yourself and still be the center of attention?" You cling to his arm for balance.

"Have you considered that maybe a polite man isn't as scheming as you think he is?"

You curl your lips. "Stop using big sentences. I hate that I barely know you, and I know everyone."

Jaehyun purses his lips. "You just enjoy the power that comes with figuring people out. Don't you?"

"Whatever you say. I want life to be a nice and smooth ride but then again, I can't even face my soulmate." You let out an airy laugh. "I didn't really need one though."

Jaehyun laughs in disbelief. "You look like you're dying of loneliness."

"Ooh, that's a big claim, Yoonoh."

"You say I keep to myself but what about you? You like hiding, don't you?"

You laugh. "Is this the part where I say we're nothing alike?"

He purses his lips, shaking his head in dismissal. He's just tired of chit-chat with someone who smells like she robbed a liquor store in Itaewon.

“You must think I’m some sort of selfish, vapid, work-obsessed overachiever,” you continue, tilting your head with a blank look in your eyes.

“Well, not exac—”

“But guess what? Your opinions are invalid, Jung Yoonoh. You’re just some chump from marketing. A very good-looking chump but still.”

Jaehyun swears under his breath as you fling your arms open in the same manner a speech-giving patriot fighting for freedom would. Unfortunately, the freedom struggle is private in this day and age, and you just smacked him in the nose instead.

You sigh deeply and he looks at you again, warily now as he holds his nose.

“You’re not exactly wrong either. I’m so empty. Like a bottle of soju with no soju. Could you bring me some?”

Jaehyun massages his temples and solidifies his resolve. He’s had enough stares from people on the sidewalk. With delicate concern, he holds you up with one arm around your waist, balancing your weight evenly so you can stand. Promptly, you bury your face into his neck and an embarrassing, high-pitched squeak evades the filter of his mouth. You’re just so adept at making his days (and nights) worse.

Jaehyun tries his best to carry you to the parking lot without any signs of struggle but good lord, are you uncooperative. Once he’s down lugging you to the passenger seat, he breathes out in relief at long last and makes sure you don’t fold in over yourself dozing off the seat. Getting you to sit up, he finds himself smiling the slightest bit at your smudged lipstick. Even like this, you’re quite pretty.

Realizing what thought came over him, he shakes his head vigorously as if he’s committing a horrible crime. He just has to get you home—Soojin had texted him the address prior to the outing just in case—and then he can go back to pretending whatever he even is supposed to.

The sports event is really just HR and Management trying to one-up the other in a more quantitative way. You’re not really fond of the sweat and heavy breathing that comes with physical exertion if it’s for the sake of competition. Competition is such a childish, masculine way of handling things, especially emotions.

HR is leading in wins, however and that means you have something to rub in Jaehyun’s face. You hate participating but you’re not allowed to opt out without a medical certificate. At least one competition, and you had to choose the three-legged race. All these potential partners, and Dongmin had to choose you.

“I’ll win,” you tell Jaehyun, stopping by him once you exit the changing room. The indoor stadium is usually a recreational facility for senior employees but on sports day, it’s closer to a gladiator arena. The seats are green and occupied by grinning employees, most of them glad for a day off but also upset they don’t get to attend their personal affairs in it.

Jaehyun stops himself from rolling his eyes. “Shouldn’t it be a ‘we’? You need a partner. Oh, are you sad you can’t pick me?”

“Not at all.” You cross your arms, annoyed at his mock pity.

Right then, Dongmin jogs up to you in a blue tracksuit. His hair sticks to his forehead because unlike you, he takes sports very seriously. Jaehyun, on the other hand, just seems to enjoy the competition. As a guilty pleasure, you’d like to see the two of them compete one day. That would be a competition worth betting on.

“I’ll have to borrow your soulmate.” Dongmin laughs. “The race is starting.”

Life strikes again with its poorly timed irony.

“Don’t mind me,” Jaehyun says politely.

The race is easier than you thought it would be considering most of the other employees struggle with teamwork. You’re the HR team for a reason. But then again, you feel a certain hollowness pervade you while you’re pressed to Dongmin’s side. Wouldn’t it be nice?

All you can think is that Dongmin and you are perfectly in sync. The realization comes off as sad despite your victory and the wide grins on both of your faces.

Jaehyun purses his lips and gives the two of you a nonchalant look. He’s avoided getting caught in the changing room quite well. For some reason, he’s glad that you’re winning but also dissatisfied about it. He would certainly feel different if he were participating in that race, wouldn’t he? He would win. Losing a competition is a huge blow to his ego. Lately, he seems to be losing a lot of races. The two of you have been growing closer and he doesn’t mind late night discussions about flawed systems and childhood memories; but the fact that you’re growing on him is something for him to be on edge about. He’s never felt so close to someone, and still so far.

“Oh, they have good chemistry, don’t they?” Doyoung comments beside Jaehyun, before taking a sip from his bottle.

“What chemistry?” Jaehyun snaps and Doyoung almost chokes on the water.

“Chill out, man.” Doyoung eyes Jaehyun’s figure in concern. “She’s like officially yours.”

Jaehyun refuses in a series of sputtering responses. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not jealous. I’m not that kind of man.”

“I didn’t paint you as that kind of man either,” Doyoung mutters before speaking up. “But love, Jaehyun. Love’s a weird thing.”

Jaehyunn ignores his comment and walks down to the grounds, jogging up to you. He immediately forgets to say anything at all. Smooth move, Yoonoh.

You just stick out your tongue at him subtly.

“I told you we’d win,” you say.

Jaehyun crosses his arms. “Congratulations. I thought you, quote, hate this stupid competition for dunces.”

You clear your throat and Dongmin laughs beside you. Before he can offer his bottle, Jaehyun offers his own in a rush. You raise an eyebrow but don’t question it.

“You guys really are a perfect pair.” Dongmin laughs. “Sometimes I wish Mijoo was my soulmate.”

You give him a pitiful smile. There go your happy feelings of victory.

“But I’m happy this way.” Dongmin nudges your shoulder with his. “Don’t give me that look.”

That is not the look he thinks you were giving. You smile.

“What about this? We can go on a double date! Those are fun, right?” Dongmin muses, crossing his arms.

“No,” you and Jaehyun refuse in a panic, and Dongmin blinks in confusion at the overwhelming response.

“I'm more of a homebody,” you explain.

“Yeah, me too,” Jaehyun agrees.

It makes Dongmin laugh aloud. “Oh, fate didn’t go wrong with the two of you.”

Your smile wavers. Did it go so wrong with you and Dongmin? Jaehyun’s hand brushes yours and you look at him. A perfect side profile and flushed hot cheeks with dimples to die for. You wouldn’t mind being in love with him. You don’t mind love much at all.

Shaking off the thought, you watch as Dongmin leaves the two of you to run to the changing rooms. Eyeing Jaehyun’s red team sweatshirt with “Management” in big typography over the chest, you look back up to his face.

“Why did you jog over here so desperately?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “Jealous?”

“Yes. I am irreparably in love with you.”

He leans in quickly and you flinch, making his dimples show up.

“Asshole,” you curse. “I’ll file you for harassment. Don’t do that again.”

“Isn’t it harassment when you feel me up while you draw—” Jaehyun leans in to whisper. “—the soulmark?”

“I would never have my hands near your greasy existence if I could,” you huff, scandalized.

But the thing is, Jaehyun is getting better at this game of flustering each other and you don’t like it one bit.

“Hey, you know Dongmin’s girlfriend?” he asks suddenly.

You nod. “Kind of. I’ve seen her pictures on Instagram.”

Jaehyun pauses before humming in realization.

You cough. “Not that I was stalking them or something. Obviously.”

Jaehyun gives you a knowing smile but doesn’t question anything, much to your aggravation. It would’ve been better if you had a chance to prove you weren’t stalking them but then again, that is exactly what you were doing.

“Well, we went to the same college. Same major too.”

“Are you serious? Wait, how do you know? Does this mean you stalked their Instagram too?”

“Too?”

“Shut up.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“She’s not exactly the evil homewrecker type,” he says.

“I know that,” you snap. If anything, you feel like the evil homewrecker even if Dongmin’s supposed to be your soulmate.

They’re so reckless. Jaehyun was right—you do blame them in a way. They don’t care who they trample under their nauseating parade of romance. But then again, that parade is better than a personal rejection.

“I’m just saying… don't hold it against them.”

“I don’t remember asking for advice, Jung Yoonoh.”

Jaehyun shrugs, dropping the issue. The preparations for the next race is starting and it has something to do with passing balls from basket to basket—you get bored already when you see Doyoung stretch before shaking hands with Taeyong.

“Wanna get ice-cream? We funded the food truck this year.” Jaehyun looks expectantly at you.

“Sure.”

You contemplate holding his hand for a moment but let that thought bury itself. You don’t have to pretend right now.

Much to your despair (or delight) however, Jaehyun takes your hand absentmindedly as he walks towards the exit. It’s not that you’ve never held hands before, it’s just that Jaehyun’s skin is soft against yours.

“I can’t believe you and Mijoo were in the same course.”

It seems she’s ahead of you in every direction you look to tread on. Of course, you will not be telling Jaehyun that. You don’t exactly feel jealousy—can’t feel jealousy when your life is perfect as it is. And for Jaehyun? You hate to admit it but you’d trade places with Mijoo any day.

“Well, she didn’t really like socializing back then so I didn’t know we were in the same program either.”

You chuckle, glancing down at your intertwined fingers despite your best efforts. It feels nice like this. It feels nice to be wanted by someone—even if it’s a lie.

“Do you think- Do you think they’re brave?” You ask. “They didn’t even hesitate to disregard the system.”

“I think people in love are always brave.”

You hum, looking down at your feet. All the more reason the system fucked up. You were never even supposed to be partnered up. You’re not brave—the face you put on is. The idea of love seems to get further and further away from you.

Just then, Jaehyun tugs at your hand, walking slightly faster and making you complain as you jog to catch up with his long strides. The food truck is fairly large, on the street outside to the stadium entrance. February is catching up with its heat and you curse at global warming for this hot winter day.

“You can take up to five scoops of different flavours,” he informs you, grinning sheepishly. “I guess the cups aren’t large enough for beyond that.”

“I didn’t know you were this passionate about ice-cream,” you say.

“Sicheng rubbed off on me.”

You laugh. IT must have given Sicheng enough stress to develop a sweet tooth. You love the HR Department when you look at the others in your company.

Jaehyun has a nice smile. You don’t know why you think that but you do and now you can’t focus on anything apart from the pink dust sprinkled over his cheeks and the handsome dimples that accompany. You don’t want to stare but clearly, Jaehyun must have been blessed by some divide being if not for fate. Maybe he’s a mess up like you. As far as you know, his soulmate doesn’t exist. That little red heart is so simple that none of the soulmate designs match it.

A rather repulsing part of you is happy about it. You like the feel of Jaehyun’s hands. You like the way he looks at you. You wouldn’t mind it if he were yours.

Jaehyun’s house is as cosy as his mother makes you feel. It’s been a while since you’ve been home and if you were perhaps less emotionally constipated, you would have tears welling up in your eyes. There’s quite a few relatives too but then again, every Asian family jumps at the chance to celebrate something as mediocre as engagements and marriage and soulmate findings. Apparently, hormones are perfectly fine to them once you’re not teenagers anymore.

This isn’t so bad. What was so scary about meeting parents again? Jaehyun’s dad did challenge you with a questionnaire but lucky for you, you know exactly how interviews work. You’ve got enough information on Jaehyun from the man himself for this visit. The briefing he gave you was boring though; you already know what you need to know about Jaehyun.

You sit at the table, while most of the other guests work in the kitchen. Jaehyun’s mother asks you questions about your life, friendly and welcoming in every way possible. Mothers are truly god-sent. You wonder how she produced someone as far from divine as Jaehyun. (Except in looks, perhaps.)

You say that out loud and get a sharp quip from Jaehyun, his mother’s eyes lighting up at your childish interaction.

“Oh my, fate is never wrong!” She remarks with a wide smile. “I’ve never seen Jaehyun open up so much with anyone before. He was such a shy boy in school, you know? All the girls would send letters and confessions and he would just turn red in the face.”

“Mom.” He smiles all too sweet at her but you can see the panic in his eyes.

She rolls her eyes before turning to you. “Darling, you have no idea how proud I feel to see him this at ease. I was honestly getting tired of all the ‘your son is so polite and well-mannered’ comments. Some bickering ought to do him good.”

“Mom,” he repeats, straightening. “I think auntie needs some help setting up the table.”

“Don’t shoo me away yet. I have to tell (name) about the time you were elected class representative in middle school. And all those sports and acting awards.”

“You don’t have to advertise me, Mom,” he says, dropping his face into his hands to rub at his eyes, already growing tired. “I’m already- I’m already hers.”

His mother coos and apart from the expected deep red flush on Jaehyun’s skin, you find yourself feeling hot in the face too. Jaehyun’s aunt calls for his mother right then and you watch as she makes her way to the kitchen entrance, the two women glancing at you and giggling to each other over some shared words.

Jaehyun takes the opportunity to grab your hand and walk away to a more obscure part of the house upstairs. With significantly less relatives, it should be a good hiding spot unless discovered by his giggling cousins that he refuses to introduce you to.

“Aw, what a shy baby,” you coo, smiling at the thought of a younger, easily-flustered Jaehyun.

His ears are bright red and you think that he’s still easily flustered. He just doesn’t show it much anymore—there’s only one dead giveaway.

“Forget everything my mom said,” he instructs. “It’s not important information.”

“Oh, no, darling. Your mother is a gold mine of vital information. You know what? I’m going to go chat her up right now. I’m sure you were quite the teenage dream I should know about.”

Jaehyun grips your wrist before you can escape, pulling your closer.

“Don’t.”

You don’t know if it’s the proximity or the fact that there are most definitely a few family members that could walk in right now—but you find yourself embarrassed as you look at his face. It’s very pleasant, handsome even, and the strands of his hair look irresistibly soft from this distance. You reach your hand out and brush the hair out of his eyes, almost instinctively.

“You have nice eyes, Jaehyun,” you say out loud, not sure why. He doesn’t fluster this time but it makes you all the more aware of your nearness.

Your eyes glance at the bottom of the staircase to see a little girl, around nine, hiding from behind the wall that separates the dining room and the kitchen. You return your gaze to Jaehyun with a smirk.

"We should kiss right now. Your little cousin's watching."

Jaehyun looks mildly disgusted. "Why would I want to kiss you in front of my cousin?"

You roll your eyes. “You don't get it, do you? The fastest way to convince a family is through rumours.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "So?"

"Oh my god, you're an idiot. Nosy cousins are the most effective way to spread rumours."

"Ah." Jaehyun looks enlightened enough for you to continue.

"Okay, but first you need to have these mints." You take out the emergency mints from your purse.

"What? I don't need mints. I have nice smelling breath.”

"Everyone needs mints, Jaehyun. Especially men."

Jaehyun sighs heavily. You take the opportunity to grab his wrist and pull him into a corner.

"Have this mint or else."

You hold his face between your thumb and forefingers, cheeks squishing under the pressure as you force a mint in. He lets you do it for some reason, looking lost as he gazes at you.

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh my, you're enjoying this. Pervert."

"Wha—what? You have to stop thinking you're hot shit, oh my god. I just got distracted for a bit."

"By me, right?"

"No! I just zoned ou—you're enjoying this."

You bite down your smile but a giggle escapes you anyway. Jaehyun rolls his eyes though he smiles, looking far too close to irresistible when his dimples show.

"You can't keep teasing me," he says, voice low.

"I've been doing it for two years. I'm pretty sure I can do it for at least two more."

Jaehyun scoffs, laughing at your statement. "You know what? I'm going to get back at you from now on. I've been so lenient."

You snort before pressing the back of your fingers to your nose. "You? You're going to get back at me? You’re good at lip service, Jaehyun."

“Huh. You might be right about that.”

There's a beat of silence and you look at him expectantly. In the next beat of your heart (or lack thereof), he cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours, surprising the life out of you as your back hits the wall. It's not just a touch either, his mouth moves over yours and when your knees feel weak, you reluctantly admit that the rumour about Jung Yoonoh being a good kisser is true. Maybe his body count isn't a lower-end single digit after all.

He pulls apart with a short smile tugging at his lips. "Satisfied?"

You sputter out a response before clearing your throat. “I- I don’t think anyone really saw us in this corner.”

Jaehyun makes a low humming sound. “Or you could just say you want me to kiss you again? I know I’m a good kisser.”

“Fuck off.” You punch his chest, eliciting a quiet grunt from him.

You move away from him, peeking from behind the wall. Oh, she saw it alright. The giggling gives it away and the fact that a few more younger cousins have gathered. This is ridiculous. The fact that you wouldn’t mind more is even worse.

You turn back to Jaehyun with steel-set eyes. “No more kissing. Ever. Never again. Kissing is officially banned.”

Jaehyun looks perplexed. “I thought that was a good kiss. Did you not enjoy it? What do you mean no kissing?”

“And I take it back.” The heat on your face is still burning steadily.

“Oh, I see. You liked it so much that you’re embarrassed.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“So I’m right?”

You roll your eyes and quickly walk down the stairs, a few words of complaint left hanging in the air as Jaehyun follows behind, stumbling over the steps.

Jaehyun likes how comfortable this is. He doesn’t mind glaring daggers at each other but this is fun too. It’s like he doesn’t have to be careful about the lines he might be crossing—there aren’t any damn lines at all. He can’t call it love, at least not by definition, but something is there. Something that is solid enough and heavy enough. Something he would be ready to hold on to.

You laugh at a joke Jaehyun’s dad makes. A family is the only place to feel at home. It might not be yours but maybe at the end of the night, you can convince them to disown Jaehyun and adopt you as their child instead. His cousins seem to be interested in the same things you were as a high schooler and it surprised you. Your job lets you advise the older cousins in a fairly friendly fashion. The little ones seem to like your dress and you find them far too adorable with their pink cheeks and dimples, much like Jaehyun’s. Speaking of which, he definitely got them from his dad. You look around and wonder how Jaehyun has so many female cousins and not an inkling about how women work.

It doesn’t hurt anymore that Dongmin discarded you so recklessly.

He’s wrong. Jaehyun’s wrong. It doesn’t hurt—didn’t hurt right now at the very least. When Jaehyun kissed you, you didn’t think of Dongmin or his girlfriend or anyone else. You thought that Jaehyun’s skin is somehow always the right temperature.

You shake your head. Jaehyun drives your getaway car and you shouldn’t get too comfortable in its worn-out leather seats. This shouldn’t be any different to you; you aren’t supposed to find love in every corner. This was all a survival instinct.

The more stories Jaehyun’s mother shares with you over dinner, the more you find it comfortable to be here. You don’t feel this welcome in your own apartment (although, there isn’t exactly anyone else living there but you and the goddamn pigeon that wakes you up at six in the morning). The more the night progresses, the more you want to believe in this lie. Jaehyun glances at you from time to time, his gaze neither uncomfortable nor harsh and you smile at him when he does. Right now, there is no loneliness and the air is warm and smells of freshly cooked food; the way familial love works is such a mystery. You feel content.

“Why are we doing this again?” you lean in and ask Jaehyun, eyes focused on the TV as he tries to fix it.

“Because I need to get out of work, and fulfilled soulmates get a day off on Valentine’s day.”

You nod. “Your apartment kind of stinks. I feel sorry for Sicheng.”

“This is clean,” he defends, pointing at the lack of any visible mess in his room. His work table, however, has too many items scattered over it to be called neat. There’s a fairly large TV attached to the wall and you’re a little jealous about it. You only ever watch shows on your (quite beloved albeit small) laptop. The blinds aren’t fully closed, the evening city lights trying their best to pry their pervasive fingers in and add something more to the peach hue of Jaehyun’s room.

The doorbell rings just in estimated time for food delivery, a sigh leaving your mouth along with a ‘finally’. His place is strangely comfortable and much less of the war zone that you expected. There’s no reason to feel awkward, really, or even the bubbling in your stomach. You’re not seventeen, in your crush’s house. Jaehyun isn’t even someone you like that way.

It’s just two friends hanging out and watching a movie and doing other friendly activities. Two friends hanging out on Valentine's day. Two friends who have kissed more than once.

What do lovers do anyway?

This thing with Jaehyun has turned into clandestine smiles at the office building, subtle texts of ‘did you eat?’ and ‘good morning, idiot’, racing hearts at brushing hands on the occasional off-work hangouts (you refuse to call them “dates”) and overall, a lot more pink hearts floating over his head when you see him. It’s positively appalling.

You don’t mind it one bit.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” The delivery man wishes as he leaves and you feel a sudden rage bubble up in you.

“Ah, does he think every couple celebrates Valentine’s day? And just because we’re in the same apartment means we’re a couple? Wow.” You cross your arms, scoffing. “Who’s he to wish me?”

“Why… Why are you getting mad?” Jaehyun asks quietly, slightly confused.

You glare at him, your anger not quite dissipated and walk back into his room, placing the box of confectionaries on the bedside table with a loud thud. Jaehyun follows, placing the drinks rather clumsily beside it. He gives you one last look of concern before settling down on his bed.

You let out another huff of complaint.

"Does everything have to be heart-shaped?"

You stare at the nauseating display of baked goods delivered in a pretty heart-shaped box. The brownie is in a clear plastic box that has a tiny bouquet of hearts atop it, the coffee cups have heart stickers around the rim, and the pastry itself is heart-shaped or rather, two halves of a heart. One of them is strawberry pink and the other chocolate brown.

“You seem… suddenly fired up,” Jaehyun comments quietly.

You don’t really care if you look crazy to him right now; he’s already seen the worse parts of you. You’re just so annoyed at all this red and pink that was delivered. Aren’t cafes supposed to stick with that beige-cream palette?

While you contemplate, Jaehyun tears the little sugar packet and attempts to open the lid of the cup at the same time, your blood pressure rising at the sight because you were half sure he’d spill the drink. After much difficulty, he shakes the packet trying to get just enough sugar but of course, like the clumsy oaf he is, he misses almost entirely, spilling sugar over his coffee table. It’s oddly endearing but that’s a thought you’ll keep to yourself.

He turns to you with a sheepish grin and you give him a look of distaste.

“You are a sorry excuse of a person, Jaehyun.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t mess this up.”

You turn to look him in the eyes, the honey shade alluring under warm apartment lights. They really are pretty.

“I, and every other sane human being, would not mess up adding sugar to a cup of coffee.”

“You faltered for a moment there.”

That was not the reason you faltered. You roll your eyes and look away, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste.

“How do you even like Americanos? Don’t you like a bit of cream and sweetness?”

“I don’t really care for bitterness,” he answers.

“Wow, you must be a masochist.”

“And it’s quite obvious you’re a sadist.”

You snicker. “That makes us quite the pair.”

“I would like that sentence in a non-BDSM context, thank you.”

Jaehyun turns on the TV and the Netflix logo animation pops up. You raise an eyebrow at his ‘Continue Watching’ list, eyeing Bridegerton and Sweet Home, and wondering if he could be any more of an enigma. You can’t possibly figure him out at this point. You groan when he picks a title.

“Ugh. Do we have to watch a romantic comedy?”

“What? They’re funny. And I thought you liked those 2000’s movies.”

You believed in unicorns and sock goblins and love back then too. These days, you hate to see other people in love, especially when it’s fake. The movies you loved are now the movies you hate. The couples you eyed with delight at parks and cafes are now the bane of your existence. In fact, you’d go as far as to say that you enjoy the digital fireworks from a couple having a massive online breakup. Things falling apart are entertaining when it’s not happening to you.

You purse your lips. Can't you see other people happy without wanting to tear it down for yourself?

“Fine. But I’ll pick the 2000’s romcom.”

Jaehyun shrugs and hands over the remote. You see Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds on the poster and click on it immediately. The Proposal has a good enough comedy to romance ratio, in your opinion.

“I’m kind of surprised you came,” he says quietly.

“Why?” You raise an eyebrow. “Is it because of the suggestive nature of visiting someone’s apartment on Valentine’s day? Did you think we’d be doing something… more fun?”

You lean in and bat your eyelashes suggestively, although you’re clearly joking.

“I think you should know better than to get mouthy with me,” he answers as he leans in further, making your heartbeat hike at the proximity. Maybe he’s figured you out. Wouldn’t it be so nice to figure each other out at the same time—like puzzle pieces fitting together?

You move away from him. “Well, it’s not like I can go anywhere else. And I didn’t want to stay in my own apartment.”

“Maybe you enjoy my company?”

“Look, I would be sipping my coffee at a perfectly aesthetic cafe if it weren’t Valentine’s day.”

He raises an eyebrow at your nonsensical declaration and you sigh, trying to explain yourself.

“Cafes just terrorize the single folk on Valentine’s day. You should always go with Netflix,” you say.

“And chill?”

“Do you even know what that means?”

“As I’ve told you so many times, I am not stupid.”

You inhale, an idea presenting itself.

“Hey, since we’re technically a couple, shouldn’t you be sharing your Netflix password with me?” you ask, pressing your lips into your cutest smile.

“No.”

“You’re so stingy,” you mutter. It was worth a shot.

Jaehyun laughs, your hand reaching out to poke his dimples but you stop yourself. You weren’t supposed to get this comfortable. This wasn’t your place to be. Lost in thought, the moving screen leaves you unfazed and you can’t look at him anymore. However, Jaehyun reaches out right then and wipes at the space beside your lips, your focus lifting from the beginning scenes of The Proposal and latching onto Jaehyun’s lips.

There’s a pause, your head clearing itself of thoughts when you make eye contact with him. Soft hair, doe eyes, full lips and dimples—he’s so damn attractive, it hurts your existence. Does he have to be this close to you? You have mixed feelings about that look in his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers suddenly.

“Yes,” you answer.

If you look from a rational point of view, you should not have said that. You should have said anything but that. But you don’t want to think right now. Jaehyun’s touch is warm over your skin as his hand rests under your jaw and the other on your waist.

You should not have said that. But you feel loved.

Somewhere along, you find yourself parting only to kiss again, the feeling of skin so delightful in a way you’ve never experienced. Your shirt hikes up and you see Jaehyun eye the little heart with the arrow—the sign you so despised with a gentle smile.

“It’s pretty,” he whispers.

It’s pretty but it isn’t his. He doesn’t have to look at you like that—he’s come a long way from nervous glances and now he’s the one making you nervous. Just say it isn’t love and it will be alright.

You part, sobering up for a moment and you disentangle your limbs to sit at the side of his bed.

“What’s- What’s wrong?” Jaehyun whispers.

You exhale.

“All my life, I wait and when it comes, it’s all wrong,” you say, staring at your lap. Self-pity is the most disgusting kind of pity to feel. You’re past crying at things like this. You’re past crying for an ounce of romance, every time you listen to a love song on the radio or look at an Instagram post of a couple or pass by lovers on the sidewalk content with each other. You don’t even have cats to return home to. Modern loneliness is wearing you down but you can’t believe in fairytales anymore.

He scoffs, smiling bitterly. “I don’t even know if this is worth losing my dignity over.”

“Jaehyun—”

“We can’t pretend anymore—I can’t pretend anymore,” Jaehyun exhales. “I want you enough to forget the system. Give me an answer. Please.”

You don’t mind forgetting the system right now. Jaehyun’s lips are always the right temperature; the warmth of his body seeps through his shirt as you press yourself to him in a hug. He’s perfect and right now, you want to believe he’s perfect for you—even if he isn’t, you want to believe it into existence.

You cup Jaehyun’s cheeks, unsaid emotion in his doe eyes, and kiss him. This time, you mean it with every ounce of your being. There’s no more flustering each other, just the hot flush of intimacy when you feel skin that doesn’t burn you. It’s just the right feeling. There’s no way this can be wrong.

Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? You wish the voice would pipe down. It’s a coward, fearing fate just as everyone else does. But you are better than that, and this feeling is too enjoyable to let go. You don’t want this to fade.

Just then, Dongmin’s face comes to mind and you think that maybe if you kiss someone else with all you have, you don’t have to think of your shortcomings ever again.

Jaehyun pulls apart and you miss the warmth.

“You’re not… You’re not thinking of me, are you?” he asks.

You don’t answer, even if the silence is overwhelming.

“I’d rather not have you close your eyes and think of someone else when I’m in front of you.”

“I’m sorry” is all you can say.

“You can at least pretend to love me.” His voice is a hoarse whisper. “Could. It’s not like this was ever supposed to work out.”

You gulp, looking away. “Jaehyun, come on. That’s not like you. We were- we were just… having fun.”

He takes a deep breath. “It hurts to not be wanted by someone you want. You know that. So why are you doing this to me?”

Because misery likes company.

“I’m sorry.”

It seems the phrase you barely uttered when you were younger is tumbling out of your lips in a mixture of grief and pity. Perhaps it’s karma. Perhaps it’s fate. Perhaps it’s just the consequences of your mistakes.

Jaehyun parts his lips, a sigh departing. He leans in again, pushing away all of his thoughts. A little more hurt won't kill him tonight. How and when did you bring him down to his knees?

However, he's stopped by your hands against his shoulders, his lips hovering over yours.

"Let's stop," you say. "You're right."

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

“I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”

You wish you could be brave enough to burn the instruction pamphlet from destiny. But right now, you need to get away from Jaehyun, away from any more misery business.

“I’ll get going,” you say, gathering your stuff.

Jaehyun hesitates but doesn’t stop you. He would never stop you, can’t stop so how could he even dream of stopping fate? This can never work out. It felt right in the moment but you don’t know anything more than that. You can’t close your eyes and pray everything disappears. No one else will solve your problems for you, you know that.

It’s time you start fixing the mess you made. You leave with a polite goodbye and hear a loud sigh behind you once the door is closed. Blinking away the urge to walk back in, you take long and quick strides to the elevator. You’re going to fix this.

Maybe if Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ wasn’t blasting at full volume at this stupid office party, you could be thinking a little straighter.

He was right. You can’t pretend anymore. There were thousands of ways this could have gone better. You didn’t have to pretend to be soulmates when you’re not. You could’ve discarded your belief in the whole system like Dongmin and Mijoo and dated someone out of spite. You didn’t have to drag Jaehyun into your sorry mess. You need to take out the nail you hammered into your own foot.

It’s the first time you’ve visited the rooftop restaurant from the company’s subsidiary chain of high-end restaurants but you imagined it would be bigger. It’s the news’ fault for making this place seem like a football field. However, you might be feeling that way because the distance between you and Jaehyun is suffocatingly small as is the distance with Dongmin. You don’t need to see Jaehyun tonight.

You don’t intend to make your confession a public affair and you certainly don’t believe in tack things like atonement. However, improvement begins with a step in the right direction. Maybe you’ll be a better person after this. Maybe you’ll still be as annoying and pushy as ever. You need to get it off your chest so you can proceed with the already tedious journey that comes with a soulmate rejection. You wonder why there’s so many man-made laws about soulmates when fate has made it complicated enough as it is. Love is the same as legalese when it comes to this system.

You flit about the crowds, smiling and greeting people and swerving away from Jaehyun every time he tries to approach you. You’re trying to make a good decision for once. He better not intrude. You’re wearing pink too, for the first time in a while: a satin shirt, pants and blazer set in dull pink.

“Dongmin,” you say, pulling him by the sleeve of his blue tux, and away from the rest of the HR team. “I have to show you something.”

“Hm? Show me?” He blinks at you.

You get him to follow you to the inside the premises, stopping when you’re far into a

“Uh?” Dongmin looks around before leaning in to whisper. “You’re not plotting to murder me, are you?”

You blink, and he laughs at you incredulously. “Why are you so serious?”

“I was lying,” you rush. “With Jaehyun. He’s not my soulmate. You are.”

Dongmin blinks in confusion. “Are… you joking? That was a weird joke but it could pass as funny—”

“Dongmin.”

You pull out your shirt from your pants, exposing the tattoo on your hip. It’s the little arrowed heart that has been plaguing you for years but now when you look at it, you feel no animosity. After all, it’s been through the same things you have.

Dongmin’s face falls into stunned silence, eyes fixated on your waist.

“That’s- That’s my—what is this?”

Russian roulette is certainly not the same without a gun.

“I lied, Dongmin,” you answer, fixing your shirt back in. “I was so afraid of your rejection that I made an even larger fool of myself.”

His initial shock seems to have partly subsided.

“You… Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks momentarily hurt.

“You have Mijoo, Dongmin. I can’t ruin something like that.”

A love that doesn’t need fate to fix it.

Dongmin glances away in guilt and sighs, though the sound is croaky. This must be more than what he can take.

“I’m sorry,” he says, haltingly. “I hurt you, didn’t I? When I thought I was being brave, I hurt you instead.”

You smile bitterly. “We all hurt someone, Dongmin. I still have to fix that one for myself.”

He scans your face, lips trembling slightly as unspoken words die on them.

“We’ll tend to the legal stuff later, hm? No compensation. We can file a mutual rejection.”

“But—”

“Shh. I’m happy enough as coworkers and I get paid more than enough for this job. Might get a promotion soon too.”

You wink at him with an added finger gun, trying to play it cool. Despite everything, a weight feels lifted from your shoulders. Now that you are truly alone, you might as well embrace this growing loneliness crawling under your skin. Discomfort could be something you can get used to.

When you get back to the warmly lit rooftop, the HR team looks at you curiously. You have the most self-destructive thought you’ve had in a while and tell yourself, you might as well if you've come this far. This is it. This is your social death. Honesty is the best policy, unfortunately.

“Dongmin and I have the same soulmate mark,” you announce. “We’re soulmates but we’ll sign a mutual rejection.”

Doyoung looks almost like he’ll faint and Soojin’s mouth is so wide open, you could practice throwing some mini basketballs in. This is your team—almost a second family, and it’s time you stop trying to hide yourself or disguise your feelings as something they’re not. They’ll get over it, as will you.

“J-Jaehyun?” Soojin looks to your side and you turn to find Jaehyun frowning.

“You could’ve discussed this with me,” he says, an odd sound of relief in his laugh.

It hurts to look at him but you muster up your strength.

“I’m sorry,” you say, facing him. “I didn’t want to drag you into this hell with me.”

Into this loveless hell made for you.

“(name).”

It’s so painfully quiet in this corner; there are so many eyes on you and only the hurt taking shape in Jaehyun’s eyes knock some sense into you.

“I’ll leave first,” you say, bowing as you take your leave.

You brisk up your pace and exit the venue as quickly as you can and into the building corridor.

Unfortunately for you, you recognize the pair of footsteps that follow you—both of them having their timings wrong. Boys don’t chase after the girl when she’s walking away. Boys should leave a girl alone when she feels like she’s about to cry.

You turn to face two men and groan internally. This is the worst possible situation—you’d rather crawl into a hole than look at either of them. The corporate light shines harshly on either of their faces but the look on them is so earnest, you want to close your eyes and scream. You don’t mind being alone. You were overstepping when you wished you weren’t.

“(name),” Dongmin starts. “I’m sorry it turned out this way. If you’d told me, we could have talked this out.”

A light scoff leaves Jaehyun and Dongmin purses his lips. It’s kind of funny watching both of their tall frames in hesitant postures and you cross your arms. You’re going to deal with this quickly like you always should have. If you’re dealing with fate, you need to have a clear head—and fortune doesn’t favour fools. Being with Jaehyun was nice but he is not yours. Dongmin may have been assigned to you but you’d rather not ruin someone’s relationship.

“What would we have talked about?” you ask. “Compensation charges? Apologies?”

You see a hint of positivity on Jaehyun’s face and turn to face him, frowning.

“And you. Don’t look so smug. You’re the reason I realized this crap. It hurts. Like hell.”

He opens his mouth but no words come when he’s far too taken aback. He can’t offer consolation now, not after everything. You knew this would happen. You would undoubtedly end up wishing you didn’t fall in love with him on the day you leave.

“(name). Listen to me,” Dongmin calls again, voice gentle.

Jaehyun sighs. “We’re both fucking this up, dude.”

Dongmin takes a sharp breath.

“You know, soulmates can be platonic,” he reasons, looking only at you. “People are made for each other differently and maybe you and I—”

“You’re just making her feel worse,” Jaehyun cuts him off.

“How do you know that?” Dongmin asks, finally turning to him. “Because you’ve spent a month or two with her? I’m her soulmate.”

“I think a month or two is much better than a stranger with the same damn birthmark.”

“Oh come on,” Dongmin scoffs. “The system exists for a reason.”

“I don’t give a shit about the system. The same as your girlfriend—oh, sorry, did you forget about her already?”

“It’s not like that.” Dongmin quietens. “We’ll figure something out.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. They’re worse than you are—honestly, you don’t know what you expected from the timid emotional maturity of men. Both of their polite facades have melted and you’re starting to miss their sweet-tempered work demeanour.

“Come with me,” Dongmin tells you.

He wraps his hand around your wrist and tugs, Jaehyun visibly tensing up at the gesture. He presses his tongue against his cheek in annoyance but refrains from doing anything rash. You feel sorry when you look at him.

“Dongmin,” you whisper. “Can we- can we have a moment?”

Dongmin nods in understanding and exits the hallway to cool off with a few splashes of water in the washroom.

“Would you go with him?” Jaehyun asks, jaw clenched. “An acquaintance as most? Are you willing to run into the arms of fate that you hated so much?”

He looks bitter and you can’t think of a sugar-coated response. You’ll just have to tell him how you feel.

“I need to sort things out, Jaehyun. This—”

You point from him to yourself.

“Couldn’t work out thanks to fate. Dongmin and I will never work out because he’s braver than I am. You know he’s doing all of that just so I don’t get hurt, right? He’s not suddenly in love with me.”

Jaehyun purses his lips, looking down to his feet. Is it so bad that he let jealousy get the best of his mouth? Envy isn’t so awful. He looks from your eyes to lips and wishes he were young enough to believe in fairytales.

“You don’t have to be brave,” he whispers. “You don’t have to be so brave to fall in love. You don’t have to be brave to stay with me.”

“We tried, Jaehyun. And we can’t cheat fate. That, at the very least, requires bravery.”

You press your lips into a thin line. It hurts. It hurts so bad to look at him and face the consequences of this flawed design. It’s unfair. It’s unfair that you have to follow the rules even after trying your best to break them.

“You wish you never met me, don’t you?” you whisper. “I made a mess.”

Before he responds, you bow in a short goodbye and walk towards the elevator. There’s no footsteps behind you, no Prince Charming. It’s just you and your high heels clacking against the cold marble as you head back to an empty home. You always thought freedom would feel different, that distance would give you perspective. It just feels awful when no one is around you at all. When you have no one to pick up morning calls from, receive texts from asking if you ate, spend time in peace without uttering a single word—are you free or are you lonely?

The rules state that the two of you are different. It is true. You are as different as love in real life and love in the movies; and neither of them have happy endings now.

You wish you drank some more last night if you were going to embarrass yourself like that. Thankfully, it’s the weekend and you have two more days to figure out how to face your coworkers. You frown when you think of Jaehyun. Were you wrong to tell him that you simply couldn’t choose him? What if fate is right and it falls apart? You stir your morning coffee, the will to drink it fading slowly. It’s already fallen apart—and it wasn’t fate who did that, it was you. Should you have taken his stupidly warm hands and asked him to follow you? You don’t understand how it works at all.

Centuries of questioning what love is, poking and prodding at it like a lab sample, and there’s still no perfect answer. Love is blind. Love is cruel. Love is a fever. Love is temporary insanity. Love is acceptance. Love will set you free. There’s just too many variations. You can never tell if fate is meant to make it easier or worse.

No one questions you at the office and you're not sure if you’re glad or aggravated. Only Doyoung shoots you a pitiful look which you brush off and immediately get into work. Embarrassment is only real if you acknowledge it. However, every time Dongmin tries to talk to you, you ask for space and even alone in your thoughts, you don’t get it. They just have to drift to Jaehyun.

You wonder if what he said was true, that he wanted you enough to forget the system. It’s clearly ruined now. The spiral of thinking has you zoning out during work more often than not and even Doyoung ends up reprimanding you for your lack of focus. Sometimes you want to snap but other times, you’re just hopelessly reciting the events over and over in your head. This was supposed to happen, wasn’t it? You don’t even have the strength left in you to blame it all on Jaehyun.

You pace in the corridors after work, contemplating popping by the Marketing Department. What could go wrong? Sure, it was a little dramatic of you to leave like that but everything can be fixed, right? You groan. What you were supposed to be fixing, you made worse. Are your hands cursed or something? You shake your head, returning to your desk to gather your belongings and head home.

Unfortunately, the sight of Doyoung sitting in your chair alarms you and you stop a foot away.

“If you’re going to reprimand me for watching cat videos instead of checking the employee records, I can assure you my efficiency is still top-notch.”

“You’re—what? Never mind.” Doyoung shakes his head. “Can you give this ginseng pack to Jaehyun? I owe him.”

Oh no. You know where this is going.

“You know I’m going to keep that for myself, right?” You make a face. “I’d rather die than face Jaehyun right now.”

Doyoung shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe he’ll be the one running to you. This is in case of an emergency.”

You give him a fake smile and Doyoung shakes his head. “Good to see you’re still great at pretending to be fine.”

You sigh. “Thanks for looking out for me, bossman.”

Doyoung blinks, hand covering his mouth when an audible gasp leaves him. “Woah. I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you thank me. But don’t call me bossman ever again.”

“Noted,” you say, taking your bag and leaving with a short goodbye. You’re lucky he lets you off work early, even if you never took it. Employees usually can’t leave until their superiors does and if you were a senior employee, you’d be giving your juniors quite the hell.

You seem to be good at concocting hellscapes. Perhaps, you should look for job openings in the underworld. One last thought of Jaehyun exits your head and you take the bus home, admiring the city you live in and the warmth of people and their relationships. You don’t feel jealous; you just bask in them for the time—be it a mother and her son or two bickering sisters or a lovely old couple. That’s how it’s meant to be, then. That’s how love works.

Jaehyun smacks his head against the sofa armrest for the fifteenth time in a row.

“Dude. You’re going to permanently ruin the fabric.” Sicheng says, eyes trained on his laptop screen.

“I should’ve said something more.” Jaehyun’s voice is so zombie-like, he thinks he should cast himself in the Train to Busan sequel as an extra.

“I’m glad I’m not you,” Sicheng mutters.

“Can you give me some sort of consolation, at least?”

“That’s not what I’m your friend for.”

Jaehyun sighs and resumes smacking the back of his head against the armrest. He really needs to figure this out. After all, he can’t really Google the solution to this.

“One thing doesn’t make sense,” Sicheng says, finally looking up from his screen. “Why do you have the same mark as (name)’s if you’re not soulmates?”

“You’re so incredibly—but adorably—stupid, Sicheng. She drew it in with a permanent marker. She kissed me too! It was sudden and weird but I didn’t mind it.

“Yikes.” Sicheng makes a face. “So… you didn’t take a shower for how long now?”

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“The ink hasn’t washed off. I heard you singing in the shower yesterday, how could you not have washed that off? Ugh. Don’t tell me you miss her.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as he jumps up and rushes to the washroom. Looking into the mirror, the tattoo poking out from his T-shirt resembles yours a lot more than his. The arrow is still drawn in. Jaehyun’s shoulder slumps. He doesn’t know what he was expecting. Turning the tap and letting the water flow, he wets his hand and rubs at his collarbone to remove the arrow.

Except it doesn’t budge. His skin turns painfully red from the rubbing but the ink, which usually washes off in less than five minutes has no intention of leaving. Did you use a different brand of marker the last time? When was it anyway?

Jaehyun breathes out, firming his resolve. He needs to be with you.

Sicheng blinks in surprise as Jaehyun grabs his car keys, not even bothering to change from an all-black getup of a T-shirt and jeans like some emo teenager, and shuts the front door behind him. Not even a ‘goodbye, I’m leaving!’

Sicheng sighs. Love makes people crazy. He’s not falling into that trap when his soulmate literally doesn’t exist, the same as his soulmark. It seems the contestants in this game are full of exceptions.

You hit your head against your pillow. To visit Jaehyun or not to. You haven’t left your bed since you woke up around seven in the morning, and now it’s ten. Your bedsheets are a mess because you’ve rolled around too much on them (in despair, not with someone unfortunately).

You need the quiet sometimes to let your mind rest, to let your heart rest. You needed time. But maybe it’s been long enough and now you’re just searching for excuses to hold on to your last shred of dignity.

You lift your head up and glare at the box of ginseng on your table. Should you? You reluctantly get up, feeling a sting of pain in your back for lying in that awkward position for so long. Right when you’ve put on your slippers, the doorbell rings and you groan. How did the package you stress-ordered last night arrive so early? These deliveries are getting faster and faster.

You walk to the front door and open it thoughtlessly, freezing up at the sight. Your first reaction is to cover yourself. You’re not exactly your best-looking version at the moment. Jaehyun’s dark circles almost match yours but he’s better dressed than you are—in a black T-shirt and jeans while you’re wearing a Gudetama pajama set.

“We’re not just friends,” he blurts. “We’re not soulmates but we’re not just friends.”

“Huh? Oh my god, this is the most embarrassing I’ve looked.”

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows in a question look.

“That’s not important! Look—”

He pushes you inside, closing the door behind him. His hair is so disheveled and messy, he barely even looks like the same well-maintained marketing employee you know.

Jaehyun tugs at his T-shirt, pulling down to reveal his tattoo—albeit with your marker-drawn arrow through it. He does have a pretty well-built chest, you note before chiding yourself for getting distracted.

You raise an eyebrow. “Do you, uh, need help scrubbing it off or something?”

“No.” Jaehyun lets out a huff of exasperation. “It won’t wash off. If it’s what I think it is—”

“Miracles don’t happen to people like us, Jaehyun,” you say quietly.

He gulps. “I don’t know about miracles but… I just needed an excuse to see you, I guess.”

You look up, a rose blush over Jaehyun’s bare face, and run your finger over the tattoo, sighing at the warmth of his skin. Your hand travels up to his cheek, resting atop it while you muster enough courage to look Jaehyun in his chocolate brown eyes.

You pull away. This isn’t the time. You still have an internal crisis to sort out. Are you even deserving of love? It makes much more sense if the answer is no.

However, Jaehyun pulls you in by the waist, his right palm warm against your cheek.

“I don’t care what anyone says.” He runs his thumb over your cheek in a painfully fond manner. “You’re worth more than the price I pay for this.”

He leans in and presses his lips to yours swiftly, your head clearing of thoughts almost immediately. It feels so right, you can feel the spark, the red thread around your skin, hear the bells. This kiss was far more perfect than it was supposed to be.

You part, gasping. Jaehyun blinks at you, breathing heavily.

“Kiss me again.”

Jaehyun does as told and you might just believe in miracles this way. With his hand around your waist and in your hair, his lips over yours and the low rumbling laughter that parts the two of you—you might just believe in miracles. You might just believe that love isn't something you deserve by earning.

“I like this,” Jaehyun comments. “I like the way this is.”

You press your finger to his lips. “I think you should shut up and kiss me some more.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I know you’re sexually repressed as of now, but that’s no reason to take advantage of me.”

You scowl, punching him on the shoulder and moving away from him.

“Come back,” he complains in a quiet voice.

“I am not going to do that.” You cross your arms.

“Come on,” he mutters, inching closer as you inch away, till your back hits the couch and you tumble backwards onto it, your legs on the headrest. Jaehyun laughs at your position, leaning in to keep his hands on either side of you, a doting look over him.

“Hey, did you know if I kicked my leg up, it would hit you in the balls?”

“Please don’t do that.”

You giggle, Jaehyun’s nose rubbing against yours in a bunny kiss.

“Is your place usually this much of a mess?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

You sigh heavily. “I was having a bad day, okay? Or… a bad weekend.”

“Do you even have food?”

You look away, crossing your arms. Jaehyun sighs and shakes his head.

“We should go grocery shopping. How do you live like this?”

You scoff. “Oh, spare me the lecture. I’ve heard enough horror stories about your room from Sicheng. You can’t hide from me by sweeping your clothes and belongings into his room.”

“Snitch,” he mutters under his breath.

You can’t help the giggle that erupts from your mouth and you immediately cover it. Jaehyun smiles at you fondly and you look away, unable to bear that gaze of his.

“It really won’t wash off, by the way,” Jaehyun states, scratching at his collarbone.

You narrow your eyes, smacking his arms away to roll off the couch. Taking his wrist, you walk into your bathroom and turn the tap on. Something’s strange. But also strangely right.

“Look, I already tried—ow! Don’t rub that hard!”

You blink in confusion, trying again despite Jaehyun looking like his soul already left him. It doesn’t work. Your marker isn’t even that permanent. At least his regenerating skin cells should get rid of that arrow. Unless the ink was deep enough to pierce all the layers, as in a soulmark.

You gasp.

“You were right!”

“I told you s—”

"That's the point, isn't it?" you say, realization dawning as your eyes widen. "To see if people will question the system at all."

Jaehyun shrugs. “Maybe.”

"Oh, all those unhappy marriages that could have been saved," you say as you exhale.

Jaehyun chuckles lightly. "I think that the point was, people can be happy without their soulmates. It's whoever you make one out of. Or I Googled too many articles on anti-soulmate propaganda."

You smile, leaning in to press a kiss against his cheek. Watching his ears turn bright red is the cherry on top.

“Okay, fake-boyfriend-turned-real-soulmate.” You give him a cheeky smile. “Did you rethink your decision about sharing that Netflix password with me? I get the girlfriend free pass, right? Right?”

“I didn’t even share it with my mother.”

You whack his arm, him possibly used to it by now, judging from his lack of response.

“Idiot.” You cross your arms. “We can Netflix… and chill then. God, I can’t believe I said that.”

Jaehyun breaks into a chuckle. “You’re so pushy.”

“And you like being pushed around, nerd.”

“Who said that?”

Jaehyun wraps his arms around you, spinning you so that your back hits the door. He leans in to kiss you again and you smack your palm over his pouted lips. You laugh at his face, his eyes brimming with confusion.

“You’re in my apartment. I make the rules here. Think twice before you start a game with me, Mister.”

His shoulders droop. “Fine. Can you at least let me kiss you four times a day?”

“Five times, if you ask.”

He laughs before leaning in again. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

“You are one hell of a woman. Emphasis on hell.”

You laugh and grab his collar, pulling him in for the kiss that seals this deal.

You realize a few things in the moment: a) You don’t have to play roulette to find love, b) You don’t have to pick your poison to find love, and most importantly c) Love is right where you make something of it. Fate is still not in your good books but if it bends to you this way, you don’t mind at all. If Jaehyun kisses you like this every day, you don’t mind one bit.

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mitsukui · 3 years

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late night experiences | g.w.

Pairing: George Weasley x female reader.

Summary: learning new things is always better when it is done with someone else.

Word Count: 2,7k.

Warnings: smut! Masturbation, mentions of innocence kink.

Disclaimer: none of the pictures used in the edit below belong to me; I simply put them together.

A/N: please, leave me some feedback if you feel like it! My askbox is open for your opinions, thoughts and requests. Thank you so much for your time and attention ❤

Masterlist!

Your last year at Hogwarts rushed into your life without warning — and so did your sexual hormones. You swore to Merlin you could feel them tingling all over your body whenever you solely looked at George Weasley, your majestic boyfriend. And apparently, he felt the same way towards you. Wondering the reason behind it all, you were quick to blame the fact that the two of you had just turned 18.

You had been together for a little while now: around nine months or so. But nothing had ever happened, and you were not quite sure why. You two had, supposedly, everything needed: steamy make-out sessions, wandering hands, lustful thoughts, privacy, and all that jazz. Yet, there you were: ground zero.

However, things were about to change even though you still were unconscious about it.

“Psst!” Your favorite quill stopped scribbling your Herbology notes. “Oi!” Your eyes gazed at the direction from which came the voice only to realize it was one of your classmates, Angelina Johnson. “I’ve discovered something last night which I thought you might be interested in.” A mischievous smirk painted her lips as you leaned in closer, already feeling eager to listen to whatever she had to say. She was one of those people who made anyone pay attention to them whenever they said something.

Her hushed whispers filled the existing silence between you two in the Study Area once more. “The boys were talking in our common room last night, and rumor has it George can’t keep his hands off of his cock whenever he thinks of you.”

Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet giggled like little girls when she finally finished her speech. You could feel your cheeks getting embraced by a deep and violent warmness. Uh-oh.

Your mind suddenly produced images by itself: George’s chest going up and down quickly as he moaned under his breath. He had his long and slender fingers wrapped around his dick and, sweet Merlin, he was big. Big and thick and veiny. His eyelashes fluttered as his hand pumped up and down a few times, precum leaking from his tip.

Heaven probably looked like that. What a lovely sight. You would give anything to actually see the great George Weasley in such a position. But, again: ground zero.

Still, the possibility of him pleasuring himself at the thought of you seemed to awake something new inside your chest and offer you a novel tingling sensation. You felt a burning flame in your loins, and it was almost as if your entire body were on fire.

You wanted him to jerk off thinking of you. You wanted his hands to get dirty from his own seed because of you.

You gulped. Snapping fingers brought you back to reality. “Girl, it’s high time you gave that poor lad some love, you know.”

The next few days felt slow and eternal. George Weasley and George Weasley’s thick dick were the only things occupying your mind. Of course, you had fantasized about him before; but it had never been that vivid. Things are always better when they are real, after all.

And you wanted to do something about it. Your soul ached for him to share his hidden and erotic reality with you. Your flesh longed to be painfully close to his. Your body and your hands desired to tease him and give him something to be unbearably hard over. You obviously would not feel in peace until you got what you wanted.

That is why the suggestion of a late night meeting in the Prefect’s Bathroom came to life. It was discussed during another of your studying session with Angelina, Alicia and Katie, being first brought on by Angelina, of course. That girl had many wild cards up her sleeve.

“I happen to know the password. Got it from a Slytherin guy, after giving him a few galleons.”

“And a blowjob, too.” Alicia responded with her eyebrows raised and a mischievous grin hanging on her lips.

As the three other girls laughed carelessly, seeming to be extremely relaxed and confident to talk about such a topic, you chewed on your bottom lip. Jittery feelings bubbled up within your veins while concern clouded your mind. You had a severe lack of inexperience when it came down to anything sexual.

Your temporary anxiety was sharply noticed by Katie, who positioned her hand over yours in a comforting act. Her fingers soothed your skin, her next words slipping out of her lips as motherly advice.

“Don’t feel pressured to do anything, honestly. George is one of the most understanding people I have ever met. But I think a little bit of intimacy would work wonders on you, both of you.” Her grip on your hand became a bit tighter, and her warmth was incredibly pacifying. “You know, just suggest going to the Prefect’s Bathroom tomorrow night. He will surely accept, once he is heads over heels for you. Get in the warm, bubbly water. Kiss him, if you feel comfortable enough for that. And just see where it goes.”

Your other two friends nodded, assuring you everything was alright and that you could always count on them for support and advice. The conversation went on for a little longer, they sharing intimacy tips and encouraging you.

Luckily enough, the next morning was one that you had classes with George. You brought on the subject in the end of the lesson, while he gathered his material quietly.

His lips opened up in a bright smile in the moment you appeared in front of him, but his expression was soon destroyed by your visible tensed posture.

“Hey, gorgeous. Are you alright?”

You sighed shortly, trying to relieve some of your internalized insecurities. The suggestion came out of your lips in a mere murmur, but he was smart enough to grasp onto all of your words. His eyes noticed your dodging gaze and your fidgeting fingers, playing with the hem of your tie. You looked absolutely adorable to him.

“See you later tonight, then. Prefect’s Bathroom, 12AM sharp. I won’t be late.”

The rest of the day felt like an eternity. Perhaps, it was the uncertainty of it all, given that there was no way to predict how the scenario would take place later on. But the time for your meeting agonizingly came, and you were forced to leave your dormitory.

The weather was unpleasantly hot, and it was hard for you to tell whether it was due to the time of the year you were going through, or to the fact you were walking towards your own doom.

You had been curious and tempted to get to know his darker and more lustful façade but, at the same time, you were ashamed of how much you craved him despite being your first time feeling anything like that. Those same novel tingles from before returned to your loins as your made your way to the fifth floor.

Underneath your favorite carmine red pleated skirt and a muggle band T-shirt, you wore a set of lingerie that had not received much attention when previously picked out, which was a simple white bra paired with white panties, covered in tiny pink strawberries. When you were about to reach your destination, you came down to the realization of how childish your underwear looked. You inhaled sharply, concluding you had ruined everything.

Eventually, you and George met, and entered the bathroom hand in hand.

Although you had heard of its wonderful interiors, seeing everything with your own eyes for the first time made you gasp. Your gaze traveled through the place, and you wished to engrave every detail in your heart. The white marble grandness awoke a sense of greatness and admiration inside you, and you almost fell to your knees right then and there.

A tad of small talk was exchanged between you and your boyfriend, until he approached you at last. His big hands cupped your delicate face, and he leaned down to kiss you.

His lips were so terribly gentle that they sent butterflies to your stomach. He showed no shyness in the second his hands roamed down your body and found your back, giving your ass a light squeeze. Unable to control yourself, you moaned and pressed your body against his.

A steamy make out moment was held between the two of you until the moment for the truth hovered over your heads. He rested his forehead against yours, and looked at you with loving eyes as his thumb ran over your lips.

“Tell me why we are here, darling.”

“It’s just that…There had been this rumor, you know?” A shy chuckle escaped your lips, and you closed your eyes, trying to block out all the filthy images suddenly appearing in your mind. “People have been saying that you jerk off thinking about me. But I’m not sure if it’s true or not, because we have –“

“It is true.” The coolness in his voice caught you off guard, and you blinked at him in a mixture of shock and self-induced accomplishment: your boyfriend touched himself at the thought of you.

Your eyelashes fluttered until your eyes were shut, and a sigh escaped your lips. Your mind knew no restrains at that moment, and the images you had been blocking out came to life all at once, violently crashing against your insides, almost like agitated waves at a beach.

Silence embraced the two of you again, but neither of you felt bothered by it. You took your time to let the sinful images sink in, and he took his time to study your face. You had been clearly affected by the truth he had just spilled out, and he secretly enjoyed such thing. He could read you like the palm of his hand, and he knew you were thinking about him with his dick out.

As he breathed heavily, fearing air would forever leave his lungs after what he was about to do, he prepared himself for what was about to come. His thumb ran over your slightly swollen lips but, this time, he parted them with a gentle tug on your lower lip. George timidly shoved his thumb into your mouth, and you, with your eyes still closed, took all of it.

Your tongue swirl against his finger, the feeling of your saliva dancing against his skin sending electrical waves down his spine. You continued on sucking him until your cheeks finally hollowed, and he pulled his finger out with a low ‘pop’ noise.

You opened your eyes in a deep frustration, but he could no longer take it. His cock was hard inside his trousers and it battled for its freedom. He breathed unsteadily and with a bit of difficulty, his mind starting to wonder how your lips would feel wrapped around his tip.

The realization that you two had never done anything before hit him hard, and he felt himself twitching while precum started wetting the fabric of his underwear.

Would it be selfish of him to think he would probably be the first one ever to taste your cunt? The first one to penetrate you, the first one to end your innocence for eternity, the first one to feel your walls clenching around him, the first one to make you cum.

George was forced to step back and groan in bitterness. He really wanted to fuck you, but he would never disrespect you or your limits. Plus, on top of that, he really did not know how he could express his urges.

“S-Sorry, darling. I-I-I don’t know what’d gotten into me, I guess I just lo-“

“Can you show me how you touch yourself?”

The question hung on air for one or two moments. You could not believe what you had just said. You were drunk on a new dizzying and exciting sensation, one that left your panties secretly wet and your clit throbbing, and one which made you ask your boyfriend to masturbate right in front of you.

So he did it. Apparently, Katie was right: George Weasley would gladly accept anything you asked him.

After the enormous bathtub had been filled with water and bubbles, he undressed and you lost all of your senses for a bit.

His fair skin carried grand amounts of both freckles and small scars. His entire silhouette was outlined by groups of yet developing muscles, but each one of them caused more wetness to pool in your strawberries ridiculously covered panties. George was so tall, his shoulders were so broad, and his dick was indeed so big.

When all of his being finally became bare in front of you, you rubbed your thighs together, the need for friction creeping inside your body for the first time ever.

You stood still exactly where you were, but he made his way to the tub, sitting on the edge of the white porcelain. He lowered his dark eyes to his throbbing member and his touch caused a relieved sigh to leave his lips. His hand moved up and down a few times until he looked at you again.

There was something different on his face. His eyelids seemed to be a tad heavier, and the sounds slipping out of his slightly parted lips were the most delicious thing you had ever heard.

George Weasley was jerking off right in front of you. He was moaning only for you. And you hoped he would cum just for you, too.

As the minutes slowly went by the two of you, you watched him quietly. However, it was impossible for him to keep quiet. By now, his moans were loud and shameless. He whispered your name every now and then, the thought of you bouncing up and down his dick providing all the fuel he needed to orgasm only for you.

That was entirely new for you. You felt so dirty, so sinful, so misbehaved, but you were living for it. You wanted more of him, and you also wanted to give George more of you. And that was exactly the reason why you said your next sentence out loud.

“Can I touch myself?”

His ears convinced himself that he had heard it incorrectly, but the way your fingers tugged on your T-shirt, and your thighs rubbed together, he knew he was not mistaken. A new rush of pleasure ran through his veins and he pumped his hand faster. Unable to form coherent sentences, he mumbled something along the lines of ‘please’ and nodded vehemently.

In the blink of an eye, both of your bodies were unclothed and both of you played with your intimacies. George’s right hand applied all the pressure that could possibly resemble your tight cunt wrapped around his cock, and your fingers helped the squelching sounds coming from your wetness to echo in the bathroom. You had never thought that so many lustful sensations could occupy your body all at once and, yet, there you were: masturbating at the sight of your boyfriend doing the exact same.

By now, you also had problems breathing and the tight knot inside your body screamed for a break. You pulled your hand away from your dripping cunt, but you remained connect to your womanhood by a very thin and almost invisible string of your juices.

George obviously noticed that tiny detail and it was too much for him. He announced he was close and, soon enough, his skin was stained by the pleasure you had given him. His eyes were closed as he felt his heartbeat increasing and the images of you still haunting his mind.

The way he accepted and let his orgasm work on his body made you move your hand against your clit faster and you followed him in a matter of seconds. Your body trembled and you could not stop whining.

You had never experienced something so astonishingly sensational.

Your pants filled the bathroom for a little while before his body finally slipped into the still warm water. The comfort offered by the setting relaxed his existence and he weakly called and asked you to join him, which you happily agreed with.

He touched your hips and pulled you closer, placing your body against his chest. With his lips pressed against your temple, he whispered a series of ‘thank you’ and ‘you are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen’.

However, his final words changed the mood completely and you hated him for it.

“That’s a nice pair of panties, by the way.”

Tag list! ❤️ @efyra @writingsomewrongs @kellsslut @pineapplesandpinas @fiction-is-the-new-reality @hufflepuff5972 @amourtentiaa @emmaev @asthmax @anchoeritic @eunoia-kth

#george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley smut #george weasley #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #🌼 — personal: writings

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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years

Note

does the vdl gang include sadie because 😢😢😢😢😢 my lesbian meow meow SKLSKDKSJS but if u do!!! i was wondering if you could write a post-game sadie (bounty hunting, gun-slinging, gaslight gatekeep girlboss)/female reader where sadie is being paid to bodyguard rich/high-profile reader thank u so much 😭

hell yess it does, now warning i've never written for sadie so this might be terrible but i gave it a go! i hope you enjoy this!! :))

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Gosh you absolutely hated your father sometimes. Not only had he ruined your plan for a relaxing weekend but he had dragged you off to one of his business parties again.

You had all these plans to get new dresses fitted at the tailor in Blackwater before heading home for a warm bath on your families Estate. You were so excited too, since the entire property would be yours for three days. Granted that didn’t include the array of maids, bodyguards and groundkeepers that worked on the Estate but for three peaceful days both your parents and siblings would be out of your hair.

That was until you received a letter from you father requesting you be dressed in your finest gown and make your way to Saint Denis immediately in order to arrive by sundown. Your family had been in the oil industry for many generations now and were extremely wealthy, even more so with the downfall of Leviticus Cornwall and these business parties were just one of the many responsibilities you had to attend to.

The whole point of the party is to make polite pleasantries with potential business partners and establish connections on to where your family’s company could grow. And it was so, so boring.

As you walk down the steps you see a young woman leaning against the carriage with a shotgun in hand. She’s dressed in slacks and a red waistcoat and a large leather jacket draped over her shoulders. Her beautiful golden hair is just peaking out from underneath her hat and her soft amber eyes match it perfectly. Wait a minute…beautiful??

“Who the hell are you?”

You hear her scoff before she rolls her eyes at your bluntness, some may call it rude but you’ve always preferred blunt or honest. Your father always told you that was more lady-like.

“Don’t get so upset Missy, I’m Sadie, your bodyguard until the regular guy comes back. I’m only here to take you to Saint Denis and I’ll be long gone.”

You huff angrily as you hold your hand out to her waiting for her to help you onto the carriage but she never does. Fine, you’ll do it yourself.

“It’s Madam to you and his name is Hamish.”

You hear her mumble a ‘whatever’ under your breath and get comfortable in the carriage. You signal to the driver up front to get the carriage moving as you watch Sadie mount her horse and ride up front. It was going to be a long ride to Saint Denis.

To say the ride was long was an understatement. You spent the first two hours staring at the seconds go by on your platinum gold pocket watch and twiddling with the ends of the ribbon in your hair. It was all rather boring until there was yelling from outside.

Fear wells in your stomach at the riders approaching, all heavily armed and with a murderous look in their eye. You anxiously grip the side of the carriage, looking out the window as Sadie and the two other guards aim their weapons high.

When the shooting starts, you hide between the lush velvet seats of the carriage, doing your best to avoid the gunfire. You’d never been one to defend yourself, its why your father had guards do it for you. You could’ve never matched to a woman like Sadie. So you’re complimenting her now? You’re in the middle of being shot at!

All your thoughts are interrupted by a scream, one you’ve now realised is your own as the carriage is flipped and sent you flying. Your back hits the door which barges open under the force of your body hitting it, leaving you lying in a puddle of mud.

You’re frozen for a moment, your body still trying to catch up with your adrenaline riddled mind. What the hell just happened?

Eventually the shooting stops and Sadie is running over to you in a panic to see if you’re okay. Her hair has fallen from her pony tail and strands of her blond hair blow over red cheeks from running.

“Are you alright?!”

“You ruined my dress, look at it! I can’t go to the party like this— and my hair! Oh my god my hair!”

Sadie stops dead in her tracks. Here she was worrying over your safety after not only saving your life but putting her own at risk and you’re more worried about your hair.

“Now listen here Missy, I did not put my ass on the line to save you just so you could whine about your— Oh jeez you’re bleeding.”

She rips her leather glove off with her teeth before bringing her surprisingly soft hand to your face. Its then you realise the cut on your cheek bone that must have come from the shattered glass of the window when you fell out.

You’re lost for words, mumbling incoherently under her touch as she takes the ribbon from your hair and begins to use it to stop the small trickle of blood there. She’s so concentrated and focused on your wound that you can’t help but blush under her intense gaze, feeling like the fool for speaking out.

“I’m sorry…”

She sighs, dropping the bloodied ribbon and puts her gloves back on.

“Ain’t nothing to be sorry for Missy, common now, let’s get you to the party.”

She takes your hand and leads you to her horse which is huge up close. Much larger than when you saw it back at the Estate. Her arm comes to wrap around your waist so she can hoist you up and sit you side saddle on her horse before hopping on herself.

When she starts riding you nearly fall of the large creature and wrap your arms around her waist out of fear of slipping. Sadie voiced that she didn’t mind you holding on and the rest of the ride was spent making pleasant small talk.

You learnt that Sadie’s horse was called Hera and that she was her pride and joy. She worked in all sorts of jobs as a gun for hire, working as a bounty hunter and personal body guard most of the time, she even told you of her most recent bounty of Shane Finley.

You were amazed at how brave and wild Sadie was. How she didn’t fear working on a job that could get her killed at any moment, no she didn’t shy away from it— instead she ran straight towards danger.

“I feel like such a bore compared to you, all I do is attend parties and lounge around the Estate all day. When I’m feeling extra adventurous its a trip to the store for some cakes and maybe a new dress not hunting and killing.”

You can hear her smile in front of you, a little laugh coming from under her nose.

“I’ve met plenty’a boring rich folk Missy, you are not one of them. For starters most of them don’t find themselves falling out of carriage windows on their way to dinner parties.”

The playful tone is enjoyable for you both and it continues through the rest of the ride. It seems like ‘Missy’ is a nickname that’ll be sticking with you for the meantime but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way it made you smile and your heart skip a beat.

It was dark by the time Sadie pulled up to the party, hitching Hera and this time, taking your hand to help you down. Her hand didn’t leave yours until you were standing out the front gates where she dusted as much of the mud off your dress as she could muster. Her hand came to her neckerchief and untied it before ripping it in half.

You gasp at what she was doing to the fine fabric before she was tying it in your hair where the ribbon had sat, tucking the loose strand behind your ear.

“Now you’re looking like a real lady.”

She gives you a gentle nod before making her way back over to her horse.

“Wait! You’re not coming in? I thought you were gonna protect me?”

Sadie gives you a soft but broken smile, one that says she’s trying not to hurt your feelings.

“I handle outlaws and thieves not parties for the rich, you’ll handle yourself just fine Missy. Ain’t no more for me to do I’m afraid.”

You take her hand in yours squeezing it in a silent plea for her to stay. Despite the rough beginnings, you’re actually enjoying her company and would hate to see her leave.

“Will you wait for me…please?”

When the party ends you sigh defeatedly. You’re tired and worn out from today’s attempted robbery and excruciating party. You’re expecting to do home in one of your father’s carriages when you spot Sadie leaning against wall with a cigarette in her hand.

“Common Missy, It’s my job to see you home safe.”

That night as Sadie led you home on the back of Hera, your arms came to wrap around her as they had before. You cuddled up to her as you let out a soft yawn and slowly began to drift off to sleep. Your head rested on her shoulder as you slowly let sleep consume you, a large smile on your face.

Needless to say you now have a new personal body guard.

#thank u anon i love sadie sm #me being bi i loved this #i might even do a part 2 if i can figure out writing for her more #sadie adler #sadie adler x reader #sadie adler x fem!reader #rdr2 #rdr2 writing #rdr2 headcanons #red dead redemption 2

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bastillewolf · 3 years

Note

Hello idk if the requests are still going but if not then its okay ignore this and if they are please don't over work yourself and you don't need to do my request if you don't want to just stay healthy and eat well and drink lots of water we all live your work (and are simps for corpse-)

The ask : could I ask for a corpse husband x reader where they used to get shipped together before they even meet each other and when they meet each other corpse goes soft for reader and they play two rounds In among us together where they are imposters together and corpse is an imposter alone in the other round

Reader info : reader has a very soft voice and is a softie and the pronounce is she/her or they/them ( as you wish)

Again you don't gotta do it if you don't want to

Thanks so much for the ask, An. I was feeling like shit and this was a lot of fun to write. I’m sorry though, I completely read over the part where the reader was supposed to have a soft voice. I’ll see if I can make another one with this specification sometime. Also, I wrote this rather quickly because I’m watching Twilight for the first time and now my feelings are hurt.

#CorpseBride - Oneshot

Pairings: Corpse / Reader

Twitter wasn’t really your forte, but you knew how to get around. It’s just that you never really had the time to check it, let alone to see what’s on the trending page every single day. At the very least, you were capable of replying to your friends’ stuff and letting your viewers know when you were streaming or when a new video would be up. Again, you weren’t a pro, but you got by.

Until you didn’t.

“Hey, everyone,” you greeted, and immediately went to change your Among Us figure to its usual colour and outfit before someone else took it.

Everyone welcomed you, while it seemed Toast was still busy trying to get a last person to join.

“Whaddup, baby,” Corpse’s shot out from the rest of them. It was pure teasing, something he’d grown quite comfortable with ever since people had blatantly started simping for his voice. “Nothing much, honey. How’ve you been?” You cheekily replied. “Pretty good. Streaming still makes me nervous, though.” “You greeted me with ‘Whaddup, baby’ and then proceed to tell me you’re nervous? Don’t get upset when I say that I don’t believe you.” He chuckled at that.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

“Ha!” you called out, “I doubt this will soothe your nerves, Corpse. You’re teamed up with me now.” You sneaked in a glance at chat. “We are not an old married couple! If anything, he can be my bitch for this round. I’m just not gonna murder anyone.”

And that’s basically how it went. He managed to kill three people and still wasn’t being sussed. “Alright, I think I’ve tortured him enough,” you laughed, “I’ll even spare Sykkuno for the man.”

You managed to corner Toast and killed him in a corner where the water wheels were, before heading out into admin. You vented until you found Corpse in Labs and jumped out. It was right when Sykkuno walked in.

“Oh, god no. Please, Sykkuno.”

Your kill count still wasn’t down yet and he was obviously planning to run straight out the door to hit the emergency button, but he was stopped. Corpse had murdered him in an instant.

Your mouth was hanging open. “Did… Did he just kill Sykkuno for me?” Chat was going absolutely wild. “What the fuck just happened?” You decided to report the body anyway.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Corpse growled, “Not my best friend, Sykkuno.”

You had to mute yourself to keep the laughter at bay. Corpse evidently vouched for you, saying you’d walked in on the body together. Felix was sussed and voted out.

“Corpse, you killed me!” Sykkuno cried out.

“I’m so sorry, Sykkuno! I wanted to spare you but you walked in at the wrong time!” You pleaded.

“Sacrifices had to be made,” Corpse merely responded.

“Wait, what happened?” Sean asked.

“I walked in on one of them venting and then Corpse killed me!”

“Collateral damage. You watched me get killed one time, too.”

“Blame me, Sykkuno. It was my fault,” but you were laughing as you said it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard such regret coming from an imposter,” Sean laughed along, “Also, why the fuck were you two being so slow? Three meetings in and you’d only killed three people.”

“Corpse was simping for me,” you replied.

“I was not.”

“Yes, you were. Otherwise you would’ve asked me what the hell I’d been doing that entire time.”

“Fuck off,” he laughed.

“Corpse is an UWU-boy!”

“Oh my god, you guys are already trending.”

“Wait, what?”

Your phone was being blasted off to space, getting tons of messages with the hashtag #CorpseBride. It was number 1 trending on Twitter.

“So… whaddup, baby?”

“Oh no, you better buy me a drink first.”

“Sure.”

You hadn’t thought he’d been serious in that moment, until he’d asked you to meet up after the game had ended. You hesitantly agreed, but reminded him that he absolutely did not have to participate in this just for the meme. “I’m not doing this for the meme,” he’d said, “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while, I just never knew how. It seemed like the perfect timing.”

You met him at his apartment, knowing how he was about going out in public, and feeling extremely nervous. You’d brought takeout, and because you hadn’t been sure what he wanted you’d ordered way too much. Upon opening the door, he looked at you, down at the bag, and said, “Shit, you got food?” Not really knowing what else to say, you simply replied, “Uh, yeah.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have lots of leftovers, then.”

He smiled, gave you a hug that ended way too fast and left you paralyzed for a minute, and then invited you in. It turned out he’d already ordered food, too. “Plenty to choose from,” he laughed awkwardly. “Uh… You got any neighbours who might want some?” you asked.

“I-I don’t really talk to anyone outside of my friend group.”

“Oh, of course. I could go around, if you’d like.”

“You’d do that for me?”

You furrowed your brows. “Of course I would. Why not?”

“Alright, but let me at least come with you. You just do the talking.”

Three knocks at three different doors later, and someone accepted the offer and took over some of the food. “Hang on a minute,” the elderly man said, clad in only his pyjamas and a bathrobe, managing to make the situation even more uncomfortable, “Aren’t you my neighbour? You always scurry off before I get the chance to talk to you!”

You looked at Corpse, and he back at you, and you turned back to the elderly man. “He, uh… He’s very people shy. He has anxiety. I’m trying to help him cope. Also, his vocal chords are damaged.” Nothing you’d said so far had been a lie, technically, but the man still remained sceptical. “Then why didn’t you just leave a note or something?”

“Uh…” you jumped at the small voice appearing from behind you. It’s just that his ‘small voice’ is still nothing close to small. “I know, I’m terribly sorry, sir. I also just wanted to let you know that if you ever need anything, I’m just a few doors away.”

This seemed to please the man enough.

“I can’t believe you made me do that.”

“I made you?!” You gasped, “I didn’t make you do anything, you filthy liar! You’re just as bad in real life as in Among Us, when you’re the impostor and I’m the innocent crewmate.”

“No comment.”

“I didn’t even ask you a question.”

“No comment.”

“Deadass?”

“Deadass.”

You both laughed. Corpse hesitated for just a moment, but decided to ask anyway, “Were you nervous when I opened the door?”

You chuckled awkwardly, admitting, “Yeah, I was. I always get anxious meeting people. Well, we’d met before, of course. But just, you know, in real life.”

“I get it.”

You stood there in silence for a moment, until you noticed the rest of the takeout in your hands was getting cold. “Come on, wife,” he joked, linking his pinkie finger with yours, “Let me get you that drink.”

If he hadn’t dragged you along then and there, you could’ve sworn your knees would’ve given out.

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twirlyeyebrows · 2 years

Text

How Could I Have Known?

(A Zosan Fic)

Link to All Chapters!

Link to Entire Work on ao3!

Ch. 16 - A Kiss to Calamity

Sanji hadn’t intended to kiss Zoro necessarily, it had just happened. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision to get the screaming in his mind to shut the fuck up.

Yet he found himself enjoying it, needing it, craving it.

And so did Zoro.

Zoro didn’t have time to think about what was going on, but he didn’t need to. At this moment, he couldn’t care less about anything else. Every single thought in his mind flooded out as they were replaced with “Don’t screw this up.”

Zoro was finally kissing Sanji. Something he never would’ve imagined getting to do, ever. He wasn’t about to waste that opportunity.

Zoro latched onto Sanji’s back, dipping him in his arms ever so slightly. The cook melted beneath his touch, flowing with the rhythm of Zoro’s arms as he allowed himself to be held.

The exchange was loving yet hungry. There was a sense of the unknowing within it. Traces of uncertainty could be found if either were to look too deep. Luckily, however, neither of them did. They didn’t want to. They kept their minds on the surface level as their lips moved in tandem, swallowing each other’s breaths and taking in their scents.

Zoro had always longed to taste the stale cigarette smoke he knew would be on Sanji’s mouth. He was right, of course, but as Zoro got a taste of alcohol, his mind became clear. Clear of the situation that was occurring. Suddenly growing aware of just what was happening.

What were they doing?

He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. The blood rushed quicker in his body as his mind filled with second thoughts. The red-tinted glasses came off as he began to worry. There was nothing more he wanted than to keep doing this, but is this really what Sanji desired? There was no way. Sanji couldn’t have done this because he wanted to. The thought was too outlandish for Zoro to believe.

He pulled his arms up, taking Sanji with them as the two men pulled their lips apart. A single strand of saliva connected the two as they stared at each other for a few beats. Silence.

Sanji never considered that he might enjoy something like this. Or perhaps more truthfully, he had never wanted to consider it. Quite frankly, he still didn’t know if he wanted to. But he couldn’t ignore the rattle his heart created in his chest, no matter how hard he tried.

Zoro was the first to break the quiet.

“What are you doing, Sanji?” His voice was a low whisper, barely loud enough for the other man to hear.

Sanji shook his head and looked at the floor. He thought he might fall over if he looked at Zoro head-on.

“I don’t know..” Sanji mumbled, matching Zoro’s hushed tone of voice.

He felt amazing and terrible all at the same time. He hated it. He just wanted to be back in Zoro’s arms, he wanted the swordsman’s mouth on his, to feel him close once more. He hated himself for thinking that.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that.” The cook’s eyes didn’t move from the spot on the floor he had glued them to. He didn’t dare lookup. He was mortified. He couldn’t suppress his heartbeat from running wild on its own. He couldn’t stop his brain from replaying the feeling of Zoro’s lips, his hands… him. Sanji ran a hand through his hair in agony.

Zoro didn’t know how to respond. On one hand, he wanted to tell Sanji that it was alright, that he enjoyed it, loved it. He wanted to go on about how he’d wanted this for so long, that it was everything he hoped it was and more.

On the other hand, the swordsman felt conflict bubbling in his stomach. He had lived through all these arguments with Sanji, who’s to say this wouldn’t cause one more? He had done something rashly without thinking first, it was unlike him. Zoro blamed himself for the sappy speech he’d given about falling for the chef. He’d poured his heart out but did Sanji even hear it? It wouldn’t be crazy to assume that he had got caught up in those compliments and acted out of pity or his high ego. Zoro didn’t want to feel used. He didn’t want to be some experiment to Sanji. If the cook hadn’t wanted to kiss him- hadn’t meant to kiss him, why did he? Why was he willing to put both of them through more turmoil before everything had gotten the chance to sort out?

And things had been going so well. Why could things between them never stay nice for long?

“Why did you let me kiss you back?” Zoro said, gaining back his regular tone; Nothing more, nothing less. It sounded more like a statement than a genuine question. Sanji cringed at the lack of emotion the swordsman displayed.

Sanji cleared his throat. “Fine.” He thought in his mind. “If we’re just going to act like it didn’t happen, so be it. We’ll have this conversation like adults and move on. End of story.”

“I’m not sure.” Sanji swallowed his emotions and built a wall of pride. It hurt more than anything. He longed to tell Zoro how it made him feel. How one kiss had already made an impact when it barely happened a minute ago. Though judging by Zoro’s stature, he was thinking the opposite.

Zoro sighed. He knew Sanji wasn’t telling him the truth, but he wasn’t telling Sanji all of his feelings either, so what could he do?

“I think you should think this through before coming to any conclusions. It could just be the alcohol talking.” Zoro hushed through gritted teeth. He didn’t want to think about the fact that Sanji might’ve just acted out because he was under the influence. He wanted to believe that somewhere deep within the cook, he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to hold onto that shred of hope that told him there was a chance this could become something more. Zoro had gotten a taste and he didn’t want to give it up, but he needed to leave that dream behind. It was foolish and unrealistic to believe that Sanji would ever want anything to do with him, he knew that. He had to bite his tongue and be the rational one, a job he was not well suited for.

Sanji nods, lifting his head from the ground. He looks to the side of the swordsman, still not able to look him in the eye. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to do that for a while.

Sanji couldn’t do anything but walk, so he headed for the door. He’d heard Zoro loud and clear, the other man clearly didn’t want him there. He felt his eyes start to sting with hot tears as he put one foot in front of the other, not bothering to look back at Zoro’s silhouette he could feel looming behind him.

He was almost at the end of the room when he heard Zoro’s voice grow soft and kind. His stomach dipped as he listened.

“I had a good time tonight, Cook.” He spoke cautiously as if Sanji was made of glass and anything too loud would break him.

That’s how Sanji himself felt, too.

He could barely bring himself to speak. He felt like he was going to sink through the floor if he stood there long enough. He had forgotten that the night had been going so well. He forgot that they had been getting along. Cooking, talking, singing, dancing. He supposed he’d have to try and forget it once again.

“Me too, Zoro.” Sanji breathed.

The way Sanji said his name with such an edge made Zoro’s whole body tense. He didn’t like it at all. He missed when Sanji said his name in that airy tone, with a twang that made it feel like they were going to be alright. This didn’t feel anything like that. Zoro tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it wouldn’t go down.

Sanji walked out of the kitchen and immediately went to his room. His mind was one-tracked as he walked across the wooden planks of the ship and made it to his door. He barely felt like he had enough energy to push it open.

He felt sober. He wished he didn’t.

He didn’t look at anything in his room as he sat down on his bed. His tunnel vision only tried to aid him in getting to a place where he could relax. As if that were going to be possible.

He pushed his fingers through his hair and ruffled the messy gold locks. Tears fell onto his red-splotchy cheeks but he barely noticed. He didn’t know what he was feeling but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

He felt angry at himself for acting on emotions. What he did was something he never would’ve done but at the moment it felt right. It felt right until Zoro had said something. He thought that it would be fine, he thought that Zoro would’ve wanted it. Apparently, he was wrong.

More importantly, why did he feel like he wanted it?

When he kissed the swordsman, he felt comfortable and safe. He could feel all the problems around him disintegrate into nothingness as he was embraced by the other man.

He’d been trying so hard for so long to ignore it, but he’d always known.

He knew about these feelings and this side of him that he didn’t want to face.

Sanji clutched his hands into fists, taking handfuls of his hair and pulling hard.

“How could I have known things would end up like this?” He whispered to no one.

He’d been bullied his whole life for his femininity. By his siblings, by his coworkers, enemies, and random people on the street. They thought that enjoying cooking and having high standards for himself made him weak. He started to believe them. Only when he joined the Straw Hats was he able to wipe away the fear of being authentic.

But it was all coming back. Why did it all have to come back?

He felt like he was going to vomit. His hands shook and beads of sweat formed against his temples.

Why couldn’t he have kept ignoring the signs, the feelings, the glances he found himself lingering in? Why did he have to ruin something that was beginning to lookup?

Why did he kiss Zoro?

“Because I wanted to.” He shut his eyes as tight as he could.

He forced the tears to stop falling as he flopped on the unwelcoming bed and stared at the ceiling.

He sighed, his lips still trembling.

“What the fuck have I done?” He could feel his heart shriveling to dust within his rib cage.

“What am I going to do?”

“What’s he going to do?”

The disquieting questions didn’t stop as he drifted off to an uncomfortable rest. They followed him in his dream, corrupting nonsense into fear.

He only was able to catch a break when he woke up in a cold sweat, forgetting the things that were haunting him in his sleep. The solace never lasted long. The guilt bit at every cell within him with unforgiving fangs.

He knew he’d have to talk to Zoro at some point. He knew he couldn’t run away this time as he had done so many times before. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

He wondered how the moss brain was doing.

Sanji let out a pathetic laugh.

“He can sleep through anything. He’s doing fine, I’m sure.” The cook flimsily reassured himself.

He hoped that the eerie feeling in his bones was lying to him.

The feeling that Zoro was up right now too, rethinking everything that had ever happened between them.

a/n: *waltzes on over to everyone and throws a handful of confetti* guess who's writing angst again?? ME!! yeah i know, but what did we expect at this point? that things were just going to be alright? maybe one day.. but for now i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)) sorry it's pretty small, i wanted it to almost make it feel rushed and panicked,, it fits with the theme yknow? until next time ! <3

#zosan #vinsmoke sanji #roronoa zoro #zoro x sanji #sanji x zoro #one piece #one piece fic #one piece imagine #black leg sanji #twirlyeyebrows

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