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#to protect me from anxiety or hard things
itspileofgoodthings · 5 months
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my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.
#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all#which. again. is false#but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept#and like. It’s FINE#but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony#and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom#unable to move or function#I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing#but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully#like an unseen wound#and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people#is one of the most painful things#just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them#and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning#and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb!#tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams#or impetus or forward motion or anything#because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy#so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE#actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it#when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions#that’s the problem#anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.
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outeremissary · 3 months
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kasperia character journal please? 👀
Hi Romeo! Sorry this is a lil late (days later edit: now a lot late), time kind of stopped functioning for part of Friday, hahhh . Anyway some good luck on this one being the only one I have screenshots from while my laptop hangs between this world and the next! (days later edit: it's actually dead forever) Anyway, this was admittedly a bit of a cheat because it is a tabletop character journal, but it's a WIP to me and I like working on it. Counts!
Anywayyyy. I don't think it's actually been said on Tumblr at this point, but Kasander and Asperia are two parts of a dissociative identity disorder system (I don't know if this is too jargon-y an explanation...?). Not the only two, but the two who interface the most with the outside world and in some ways have the strongest feelings about "Asperia's" life. In tabletop, their journal is how they communicate with one another to mitigate the effects of losing time and to get some sense of coordination with what they're doing. On a meta level, it helps me track what each of them knows about game events and how they feel about each other (and any other alter who adds something to the journal). Relationships within the system aren't really something that generally makes sense to externalize into regular RP. The journal is a helpful way to develop that running self-exploration side plot without derailing what's happening in session.
It's been a really fun exercise in character voice. I love writing epistolary type stuff- Carmen's mission report character journal was one of my favorite parts of playing her back in 2019- so it's been very relaxing to me. Excited for our hiatus to end to gather more material for it. I've gotten a little off track from some original plans though- one significant concept I'd had going in was that Kasander's parts of the journal are written as direct letters to Asperia, while Asperia's were supposed to be written as a diary as if the other pages didn't exist. Stubborn willful ignorance from someone struggling to come to terms with their reality. Unfortunately, it's very fun to write things that are a little bit more communicative ^^;; I'll probably have to rewrite pieces of recent parts of the journal to be a bit more in line with that intent before adding the next chunk to our party's notes drive. Not a lot room to develop the twins' relationship over time if there's not much distance between the start and the end, after all.
With that said, some of the direct exchanges are very fun. Pros and cons.
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It's also fun to think through what's tracked and what's omitted (intentionally or unintentionally). Kasander loves describing the cultural experience of a location but carefully skips mentioning having actually spent money on things. They're always on thin ice with the funds. Asperia keeps (mildly exaggerated) accounts of personal achievements but completely skips over failures, especially failures that involved injury to the body. She needs to communicate a sense of superiority- something that certainly works when Kasander apologizes profusely any time the body is hurt under their care.
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(yeah it seemed like a good idea at the time to use a more "handwritten" font for the final thing but I've been having A Lot Of Regrets)
I unfortunately don't have a screenshot, but the journal has also had one small addition from Paracelsus as well. It's just a to-do list of ways to organize and restock the crafting supplies. Very typical of them. Asperia thinks he wrote it, like everything Paracelsus writes.
Also fun to get to work in some in-world explanations for things that raise some meta questions, like not having some items that I need for my character concept (I ran out of starting equipment budgettt). This bit is also consistent with the pattern that Asperia avoids referring to Kasander by name.
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How common the two of them actually sabotaging each other's possessions is has yet to truly be established, but it is an aspect of what the party thaumaturge refers to as their "feud."
Pros over BG3: they are aware of and communicating each other, and they didn't have to have five near death experiences for it to happen. Yay!
Cons over BG3: lot more hostility from Asperia persisting past that point. Kasander did in fact ruin their life a little.
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nowendil · 5 months
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whooooo having an anxiety attack about covid. again 👍
#cw negative#cw vent#nowe talks#it's hard to describe what about it is the worst source of anxiety for me. it's not What If I Get It. it's mostly just. it's just.#i sometimes feel like our society has just forgotten that it's a thing. or that society has forgotten that it's A SERIOUS THING.#like this thing that Kills People.#i know it's not lethal to most people but it still is a very serious thing!#why have we as a society shifted from “protecting the people most affected is a collective responsibility#(via vaccination and masking and not showing up to places sick)“#to “well what if all the people belonging to risk groups just deal with this on their own and the rest of us go back to normal?”#idk man maybe i'm sensitive because my grandma died of covid a week before Christmas last year.#or because both of my parents are over 60 and my dad has another risk factor illness on top of that.#idk man. i just feel so. unsafe. unsure and scared and tired. i just dont want other people to go through what our family did last december#i want to stress that i'm not blaming any individual people for this.#my frustration is almost solely directed towards the goverment not taking covid seriously enough#and like i'm not perfect. i'm not sure what's the right thing to do and what's me overreacting.#i recognize that i am often incapable of thinking clearly about this subject#sometimes i feel like i am the only one in my circle (family included) who is this worried about it still. i'm not blaming my loved ones#i'm not saying i'm better than them that's not it. i just. sometimes i just feel so alone with this#and idk how to make it better?#like i have good moments and bad moments with this anxiety. it comes and goes. but. idk.#i think her death's anniversary coming closer combined with the rising covid numbers in my country is just doing a number on me
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Uh you ever.... Feel okay or pretty decent and then you remember your lifes circumstances and then you're at the verge of tears?
#miranda talking shit#Maybe this is too specific but hah yeah ...#I can feel okay and be like ah things are pretty good ! And then i remember how my life 'is' and im close to a breakdown#Trying nit to compare myself to others and so on but like.... Its so hard not to lmao#25 soon and no job havent finished high-school i got no partner (plus i guess a virgin lol)#And all the things i havent done or experienced which is pretty universal? Yeah mmm... Ive lost so much of my time and life to mental#Illness and i cant help but morn that. Like if i didnt have my child trauma id probably have a lot milder anxiety and depression which is#Keeping from doing most things... Id still have my autistic and add struggles but i want to imagine I'd manage to accomplish more if#My dep and anx wasn't this bad bc of my past... I hate how my mentality was wrecked before i even knew how to count to 100#And sooo many years of my childhood just feeling bad and even suicidal (first time i mentioned wanting to die in my diary i was 10-11...)#Just struggling so many years mentally and since i was so young i couldn't make the connection why i was feeling like it? Like the first#Time i started considering why etc i was already like 16.... I didnt think it was weird to cry every single day as long as i can remember#Now at 25 i am still a crybaby but i do it weekly instead. Its just so ... Weird and sad. You dont understand how serious something was#That happened to you and how it affected you until youre almost an adult... And you start to understand that its not just all on you#Its not just your fault youre struggling so much. Youre not just being lazy and difficult ... God Just wish someone protected me when#It mattered . I know my past could have been worse i could have been treated a lot worse and abused more and still to this day it makes me#Feel iffy or bad to claim i was abused? I mean... I was? But cant help to feel my trauma and experiences is not as serious as others#Like i wasnt sexually abused for example or abused by my parents... And i know many have so i feel its not my ... Right to say anything ?#Like my brothers mentally abused me for years and physically from time to time but it could be so much worse#Idk where im going with this i need to go to my vourses instead im crying in the bathroom like stop#Negative
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guest-1-2-3 · 10 months
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Me wondering why I feel so indifferent whenever I give my mother advice on things in our weird little therapy sessions and why i can speak so matter-of-factly about the fucked up shit and weird dynamics and things we navigate—i think i just hella suppress my emotions lol
#i suppress that shit so hard#why am i an excellent therapist person? because i suppress all emotional connection i have so i can be logical about situations#i remember feeling rlly bad about smth recently in this same sphere of things and just being confused like#why do i genuinely feel like shit about this rn#and it’s just that my level of stress with that particular stressful situation got to the point where my regular suppressing tactics failed#and i just. couldn’t handle it anymore#it felt like shit but i also felt more human about the whole thing for the first time in a while#idk i always feel like i’m not a real person when i’m therapist mode#i’m just stating the facts and discussing things emotionally yes but from a logical point of view#i feel so disassociated and disconnected even if i’m SO connected to the situation because of how much i just suppress#and when i actually feel things it’s shocking to me#that i’m capable of feeling emotion connected to it#besides that numb feeling of just stress#i can feel anger about this? i can feel frustration and anxiety and disappointment and fear and sadness?#i’m so used to being numb#that indifference is my strength in that it allows me to see things clearly and understand things#in that i can use that to help others through their emotions#and in that it protects me from the huge emotions i could get from this that could really damage my mental health#but at the same time#it just feels wrong#to not FEEL the same way everyone else is#to have someone breaking down as they talk to me and sobbing and i’m in a similar situation as them#but i feel nothing at all#it’s my minds safety mechanism i think kn a way to protect me from everything#to just shut down the feelings part and focus on the reasoning#I SUPRESS#i don’t know if this is healthy or not :D i’ll find out one day#tw vent#nico mental health post
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inkskinned · 2 years
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kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.
i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."
goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'
"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.
behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."
"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."
"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."
later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."
she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.
the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?
i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.
but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.
each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".
but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.
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lost-and-ephemeral · 2 months
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Could you please do LDS boys +
Caleb reacting to reader being injured/severely injured?<3
HCs: You're Injured (ft. main trio + Caleb)
Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader, Caleb x reader (seperate)
Tags: hurt/comfort, reader is injured but won't die
A/N: Thanks for your request! First time writing for Caleb, yay. Sorry if it isn't good enough, I'm not feeling so good since morning.
-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 
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Caleb
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"Hold on, pip-squeak, I'm right here."
Your exhausted body, covered in wounds from the battle with Wanderer, was ready to collapse to the ground if Caleb hadn't caught you in time.
He knew how dangerous your job was, but that didn't make him any less worried.
You protected him but got hurt in the process.
He's frustrated and angry because there's no way he could've protected you in that situation.
And Caleb just hates this feeling, but trying to stay calm for your sake. His emotions could only make everything worse.
"Sometimes even big girls need someone else's help. Right? And I'm here for you."
Concern was written all over his face, he couldn't hide it even if he really tried. The last thing he wanted was to see you hurt, especially like this.
He was supposed to be your main protector back then. But now things have changed.
You had really grown a lot, not just physically, but mentally too.
It was just hard to accept you're no longer a little girl.
Yes, you are strong and mature. But Caleb kept holding you like you were the most fragile being in the world.
He will give you first aid as quickly as he can, while calling an ambulance. Caleb is not the kind of person who would risk your life trying to handle this situation on his own.
Definitely going to the hospital with you while holding your hand and talking to you. He'll be around as long as it takes.
Probably will fall asleep on the chair near your hospital bed.
No doubt he'll continue to look after you like he did when you both were younger.
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Rafayel
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"No, no, no. Don't even think about leaving me like this!"
Maybe sometimes Rafayel was overly dramatic, but he's actually afraid of losing you again.
When he saw that you were injured after not-so-pleasant encounter with Wanderers, his facade of self-confidence instantly cracked.
Rafayel started panicking and it was clear from the look on his face as he crouched beside you, seeing how you trying to cover the wound by your bloody hands.
Not again. No.
All these years he had to watch you die over and over again, losing all memories of him.
Rafayel instantly began to examine your wounds, holding you close. He didn't care if his perfectly white shirt will be covered in blood as well.
He needed to be sure you won't die this time.
And his playful attitude is gone completely.
"Don't you dare to die on me, you hear? I won't forgive you. Ever. Promise me. Promise me you won't die."
He tried to remain calm and ignore the suffocating feeling of anxiety that has been slowly rising in his chest. But he couldn't.
Will do everything to stop the bleeding while help is on it's way. You can feel his hands trembling.
He'd better die for you himself, not vice versa.
I swear, this man is gonna get the whole hospital on alert. Nurses and doctors can be mad at him as much as they want. It doesn't matter to him.
Rafayel won't rest and eat properly until you get better. He just physically can't.
"Don't scare me like this ever again, please."
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Xavier
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"I failed you."
You accidentaly got injured during your mission. And poor Xavier decided it was totally his fault.
You both found yourself surrounded by enemies and before he could even react, one of them attacked you, leaving a deep wound on your side.
Needless to say, in the next couple of seconds all Wanderers were completely destroyed, and Xavier was fully focused on you.
This isn't the first time you've been injured during a mission. But each time Xavier is as worried as always.
Especially when your injuries are so severe.
Will administer first aid on the spot, even the bare minimum, before carrying you to safety.
With Wanderers around, it's not going to be easy to get you out of this dangerous zone. So Xavier needs to stabilize you a little at first.
"I won't let you get hurt again. I promise."
He is already experienced in these situations, so he's able to keep his emotions under control. But that doesn't mean that deep inside he isn't worried sick about you.
Will be looking for anything to treat your wound and avoid infection.
Guilt will slowly eat him up from the inside no matter what. He had to protect you, but he failed to do so.
Even if you assure him it's just an accident, Xavier just shakes his head in response.
As soon as you can get out, he'll take you to the hospital. It is unlikely that his skills will be enough to make your wound heal properly.
Better safe than sorry.
He still has a lot of work to do, but he'll come to you whenever he has a spare minute.
Will probably act like a guilty puppy for a long time.
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Zayne
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"You're constantly putting yourself in danger."
Zayne has a hard time showing his feelings openly, especially when it comes to you, so it's no surprise that his display of concern felt like he was scolding you.
But in reality he's really, really worried about you every time.
He knew right away that you were in the hospital after another accident.
And as soon as Zayne had some time off between surgeries, he came to you.
Looking at you in the hospital bed, he felt his heart ache.
While he was desperately searching for a cure for your heart, you kept getting hurt again and again.
Even when you smiled, like if trying to reassure him everything's fine, Zayne only sighed and shook his head. You have no idea how hard it was to see you hurt and vulnerable like this.
He's already been informed of the severity of your wounds and how much blood you've lost.
And he could've lost you.
But Zayne can't let his emotions take over. There are still a few more difficult surgeries ahead where he cannot afford to make a mistake.
And if he starts panicking right in front of you, it's not going to speed up the healing process.
"I'd be happy if you took a more responsible approach to your health. Then I wouldn't have to be so worried."
He moved his chair closer to your bed and sat in silence for a while, squeezing your hand.
Zayne will stay around as long as his job lets him.
Don't be surprised to find candies or plushies you wanted on your nightstand.
You can ask him about these little gifts.
And watch carefully as a faint smile appears on his lips.
"Usually only children get so excited about toys. So it turns out you're not that far from being a child?"
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babydollmarauders · 4 months
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SWEETEST GIFT — LUKE HUGHES
luke hughes x fem!reader
12 DAYS OF KINKMAS
summary: in which Luke gives y/n the sweetest gift, resulting in an eventful christmas night
warnings: anxiety, NSFW CONTENT, praise, oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v (protected). (5k words)
notes: merry christmas and welcome to the final day of kinkmas! i hope you’ve all enjoyed these past 12 days and that everyone has a wonderful holiday! this is the longest fic of them all because apparently i’m actually incapable of writing a short luke smut…
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i’m late.
it’s arguably the most important date so far in my relationship, and i’m late.
i don’t mean to be, obviously; the last thing i wanna do is make a bad first impression on my boyfriend’s teammates, but under the circumstances, it was completely out of my control.
i told my family several times that i needed to be out the door by four o’clock, and i thought they understood that. but then christmas breakfast turned into christmas brunch and gifts were opened late and then my mother insisted i stayed until my little cousins arrived and i still had to get changed and it was a chaotic mess all the way until i got out the door.
at five o’clock.
an entire hour later than i was supposed to leave.
so now here i am, having driven barefoot to my boyfriends apartment and only just now pulling my boots on, messy bun unreasonably… messy, and his gift having fallen onto the floor of my car after some definite traffic law violations in order to arrive as quick as possible.
once my boots are zipped securely on my feet, i’m leaning almost entirely over the center console, my hand patting at the passengers side floor until i finally grasp the present; a box wrapped in shiny red paper.
i quickly stumble out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me before i take off into the apartment complex. the wait for the elevator feels infinite, and the ride up even longer, but i finally reach the apartment door.
faint music drifts through the cracked open door, the sounds of multiple men talking each other overpowering the melodies that play, and i knock lightly upon the wood. after one more knock and two minutes of nobody answering, i push the door open, peeking my head in to find nobody in the entry way.
tip-toeing in, i close the door behind me, the short heels of my boots clicking against the hardwood floor as i shrug my coat off, hanging it on the overcrowded coat rack by the door before i wander further into the apartment.
i determine the source of the voices as the kitchen, but opt to veer off and drop Luke’s present off in his bedroom before i join them, as i know we won’t be exchanging gifts until after dinner. i set the gift on his bed, leaving his bedroom door open on my way out, but rather than walking into the empty hallway, i find myself colliding with a hard chest as someone leaves the restroom.
“oh shit, sorry!” i squeak, looking up to find a confused face staring back at me.
the unfamiliar man is tall, at least a couple inches taller than my boyfriend, with blue-green eyes and brown buzzed hair. he stares down at me a frown and threaded brows.
“excuse me, are you supposed to be here?” he questions, and i nod quickly, swallowing harshly as i try to push down the anxiety of meeting this new person.
i glance down the hallway in hopes that Luke will miraculously appear, but i can still hear him laughing in the kitchen, “yes, yeah! i am!”
the man narrows his eyes at me, “yeah, ‘cause that didn’t sound suspicious.”
he stalks down the hallway quickly towards the kitchen, my shorter legs following behind him.
“guys, there’s a girl over here! never seen her before!” the man calls out, his voice carrying over the sound of all the others and gaining the guys attention.
one by one i see heads peeking out from the kitchen, making me stop in my tracks. my hands shake with anxiety as they all peer back at me, some faces looking frustrated or annoyed, until finally my boyfriend emerges from the kitchen.
a small smile is painted across his lips, but it drops as he sees my nervous body languages. picking my steps back up, i walk slowly into his arms, incredibly perceptive of the amount of eyes that watch me.
“hi, angel.” Luke’s arms enclose around my waist, pulling me tight against him as he speaks.
“hi, Lukey. sorry, i’m late.” his body shakes as he chuckles, brushing off my apologies.
“it’s okay,” he assures me as i pull away, “i see you met Bass.”
i turn, my back pressing against Luke’s chest as his arm winds around to hug around my stomach, facing his teammates, who all seem a lot less menacing now that they know i’m not a crazy fangirl who found her way in.
“Bass,” i repeat, staring at the man whom i ran into. i rack my brain for a moment, trying to remember who Luke has said this man is in the past, “ah, yes, Nathan!”
Nathan nods with a smile, “you can just call me Nate or Bass, all the guys do. sorry about scaring you, didn’t realize you were Rusty’s girl.”
i bite back a laugh at my boyfriend’s hockey nickname. i’ve heard it before, but it’ll take some getting used to.
“it’s okay.”
Luke points out each friend, introducing them one by one until i’ve met all five; Nico, Dawson, John, Timo, and Nathan.
“and then you know Jack.” Luke waves his brother off, making me chuckle.
“yeah, hi, Jack.”
Jack smiles, “hi, y/n. there’s some wine in the kitchen, if you want some.”
the guys retreat to living room after Luke promises to check on the ham in the oven, guiding me into the kitchen. grabbing a wine glass from a cupboard, he fills it with a red wine before turning and leaning against the counter, handing the glass off to me.
“you look like you could use it.” he laughs, making me slap his chest in playful annoyance.
“i could! my family is batshit crazy,” i sigh, taking a big gulp of the wine before i set the glass down on the counter, “i was supposed to be here an hour ago but apparently my mother can’t tell time and lord knows i’m not allowed to leave until she deems christmas over.”
i walk myself between his slightly spread legs, dropping my forehead on his chest as i groan, “i just need food and cuddles.”
“well, i can check one thing off that list, but i can’t promise the ham will be edible, after all, Jack made it so…”
a giggle falls from my lips as i peer up into his eyes, shrugging my shoulders, “yeah, maybe i’ll stick to the mashed potatoes.”
the rest of the evening goes about as smoothly as i figured it would; i had to end up finishing the ham because i had absolutely no faith in Jack to not overcook it, the guys playfully teased Luke and told me funny stories of things he’s done on roadies or in the locker room, and we all sat around the living room and ate christmas dinner as Jack and Dawson heavily debated what the best christmas movie is.
finally, about three hours later, the guys took off to a local bar for some drinks and darts, Luke and i staying back in order to spend some alone time together.
“c’mon, i wanna give you your gift.” Luke smiles, hand slipping into mine as we rise from the couch, walking down the hallways and into his room.
he shuts the door behind us, grabbing a small, poorly wrapped present off of his dresser before we both sit on his bed.
“okay, wait, you first.” i tell him, picking the red present up off the mattress and pushing it into his hands.
my boyfriend was a bit difficult to shop for, seeing ad when he wants something, he usually just buys it. but i figured i could never go wrong by combining something he loves with one of his favorite hobbies.
he hands me my present, but i wait to unwrap it until he wraps his, rather enjoying watching him shed the paper from the box. a smile spreads across his face as he looks up at me.
“it’s a lego model of the UMich football stadium! i figured it was something for you to do over the next couple free days, or just whenever you want, but i thought it was perfect because you love building lego sets and you love michigan and-”
my ramble is cut off gently by his lips, his hand cupping my cheek as he kisses me slowly.
“i love it,” he says as he pulls away, eyes gazing straight into mine as he smiles, “it’s extremely thoughtful. maybe you can help me build it?”
i nod, leaning in to press my lips against his once more, “if you want me to, i’ll happily do so. or i’ll just keep you company as you build it.”
“that sounds great, angel. alright, you’re turn!”
i giggle at his enthusiasm, looking down at the small gift in my hands. i slowly peel the wrapping paper off, making a mental note to teach him how to wrap in the new year, until i finally unveil a velvet jewelry box.
my eyes widen, flickering up to my boyfriend in surprise, but he just gives me a small, encouraging nod.
flipping open the top, a simple yet beautiful necklace comes into view; a dainty silver chain with a tiny, minimalistic ‘L’ in the middle.
“oh my god,” i breathe out, my hand rising to my lips in shock, “Luke, this is beautiful.”
“i thought maybe you could wear it when you come to watch me play.” his cheeks blush a rosy pink as i look back up at him, obviously a bit more self-conscious now than he was merely minutes ago.
“can you put it on me?” i ask him, and he nods, taking the box from my hands in order to pull the necklace from the velvet interior.
i twist around, holding my hair up and allowing him to gently clasp the necklace around my neck. his fingers graze the back of my neck, sending shockwaves throughout my body as he makes sure the necklace is secure before he lets go, his hands smoothing over my shoulders and down my arms when he finishes.
i turn again, facing him once more as my hand reaches up to my collarbone, my fingertips running over the cool metal as i grin.
“it’s so beautiful, Lukey. i love it.” i cup his cheeks, pulling his face forward to press an excited kiss against his lips.
i kiss him breathlessly, our lips locking as i crawl into his lap, one leg on each side of his body, “i love you.”
i tense after the three monumental words leave my mouth, a heat of the moment confession that i wasn’t sure he was ready to hear; but, i know i’ve been ready to say.
“shit, you- uh- you don’t have to say it back. please, don’t feel like you have to say it if you aren’t ready. i mean, i know i was ready, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. you can take your ti-”
for the second time tonight, my words are shortened by my boyfriend’s lips against mine, a smile fighting against his facial muscles as he kisses me.
“i love you too.” he whispers.
my heart races, beating so strongly it feels as though it’s about to escape my chest, but my body relaxes, my eyes gazing into his as i sigh.
“you do?”
he nods, hands rubbing gently up my sides in comforting movements, “i do. i love you so much.”
i’m overwhelmed with relief and joy, the corners of my lips quirking up in a wide grin; absolutely bewitched by the beautiful boy in front of me.
i’m not sure what i’ve done in life to have deserved someone as kind, humorous, and caring as Luke; someone who gets me sweet, thoughtful gifts; who does anything to ease my anxiety the moment he spots the signs; who loves me for exactly who i am, and who reminds me every day that i’m gorgeous and perfect in my own way. but, i know that i’m incredibly grateful to have him in my life, and i want to share all of life’s beautiful moments with him.
my lips descend upon his, a breathy sigh blowing from my nose as my eyes flutter closed, pulling him deeper into the kiss with my grip on the back of his neck. his hands still on my waist, fingers gripping a little tighter as i begin to rock my hips slowly against his.
he groans into my lips, hands stilling my hips as he pulls away, our faces still close enough that i can feel his breath against my lips, and i whine at the loss of the delicious feeling that had begun rolling through my body.
“you gotta stop, angel.” he gulps, voice tight and shaky, “if you don’t, i’m gonna have a… situation, and i don’t wanna make you feel like you have to do anything yet.”
my skin feels hot, uncomfortable even, and i register it quickly as want.
despite the fact that Luke and i haven’t actually done anything yet, it’s not like i’m unfamiliar with being horny, or even having had sex. i just wanted to take things slow him; wanted to take time to enjoy our relationship without the physicality that’s made my past relationships messy.
i heave in a breath, my chest brushing against his, and the feeling of my peaked nipples skimming against his hard body makes me all the more aroused.
“i’m ready, Lukey.” i tell him in a breathy whine.
his eyes flicker in size, swallowing harshly before he speaks, “are you sure?”
“yes.” i nod, placing a short kiss on his lips, “i’m ready, and now is the perfect time; the apartment is empty, it’s just us two, and i love you so much.”
“if you don’t want to, i’m not pushing! i’m okay with just watching a movie or cuddling, we don’t have to do anything.” i add.
Luke’s hand cradles my face, pulling me into another kiss, “of course, i want to. you’re the most stunning, most thoughtful and sweetest girl i’ve ever met; i’d be a damn fool not to want this.”
i bite back a giggle, blood rushing to my cheeks from his affectionate words.
“but i don’t want you to feel rushed. i’ll wait as long as you want, because i don’t want you to feel like you have to sleep with me just because i said i love you.”
“i don’t feel like that.” i shake my head, the back of my hand ghosting over his cheek, “i really want this, Luke. i mean it. i feel safe with you, i trust you.”
he smiles, a divine smile that makes my heart do flips, overwhelmed with love for the pure soul that has entangled with mine in the absolute best ways.
“you trust me?” he echoes, hands sliding down to cup my ass, making me shiver in anticipation.
“mhm.”
with my hum of a response, i’m suddenly flipped over, my back bouncing onto the mattress, my hair sprawling over the pillows as my boyfriend hovers over top of me. his hot breath fans over my neck, lips pressing against my heated skin and making me sigh in contentment.
he paves a path with his lips, soft and slow, down to the collar of my sweater, the only sound in the room being my heavy pants and his wet kisses.
“Luke.” i sigh as his hands travel up my sides, sliding underneath my top. he hums against my collarbone, his thumbs grazing over my ribs until his hands cup underneath my breasts, my sweater bunched up.
chilled air hits against my stomach, my abdomen tightening in response, and i desire nothing more than to rid the layers between us.
“take it off me, please.”
he pulls away at my plea, hands shimmying my sweater up and over my head, pulling my arms free before he flings the fabric to the floor.
his eyes rake my body in silence for several moments, and i begin to feel self-consciousness creep up on me, my arms wrapping over my stomach. but he’s not having it, fingers enclosing around my wrists and pulling them away.
“uh-uh, none of that.” he whispers breathlessly, “you’re beautiful, angel. so fucking perfect.”
my cheeks flush, confidence filling me from the inside out as he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, his eyes blown out and darkened with lust.
“thank you.” he shakes his head at my response.
“don’t thank me.” he says, “if you knew the things i’m thinking of doing to you right now, you wouldn’t be thanking me.”
his words light a fire deep in my core, my panties dampening with every word that drops from his perfect lips.
“no, i think i would.” i rasp, voice low and dripping with lust, “i think i would want to thank you a million times over.”
“i need you so bad.” i confess.
my hands lock around his neck, pulling him back down to me. he kisses me in earnest, hips rolling down into mine, his quickly hardening erection pressing against my jean clad core.
i moan against him, a low guttural sound that pours out when his hands come up to massage my breasts over my padless red bra. he dips down, embedding open mouthed kisses upon my skin, leading down to my cleavage.
“can i?” he asks, fingers edging the cups of my bra, and i nod in approval.
he rolls his hips into mine again, my back arching, and he slips his hand underneath me, unhooking my bra with fumbling fingers. he pulls it off my body, once again discarding the clothing to the floor.
his thumbs circle my nipples and he watches me as my eyes fly shut, my lips parting as i let out a shaky breath in response to his actions.
“i’m the luckiest guy in the damn world.” he huffs, so quietly that i’m not sure he was even talking to me, more so whispering to himself.
“Luke, please,” i whine, “less talking, more touching.”
my words earn a melodious chuckle from his lips before he lowers his head to my chest, continuing to play with one nipple as the other gets extra attention. his tongue drags around the stiffed peak before its caught between his lips, softly sucked and grazed extra lightly by his teeth, making my body tremble.
after a few moments he switches, giving proper love to the other side. my leg hooks around his waist, hips bucking up to rub my clothes cunt against his now fully hardened erection.
my hands fist his shirt at his shoulder blades, tugging lightly.
“off,” i breathe, “i want this off. i wanna feel you.”
Luke pulls away from my breast, my nipple dropping from his mouth with a pop, and within seconds he’s leaning back, tugging the shirt over his head. suddenly it’s my turn to gape and stare.
obviously, i’ve seen him shirtless, but his body is one i’ll never tire of; the sight will forever and always make my heart beat faster, my core get wetter, and my soul sigh.
“take a picture, angel,” he winks, “it’ll last longer.”
he’s joking, but if i had my phone on me, i would.
“kiss me, please?”
i don’t have to say any more, those words enough to bring his lips back to mine, our bare chests pressing against one another. we take our time, tossing and turning in the bed, our lips rarely straying from each other’s, until i finally rid myself of my jeans, entirely too ready to move on.
“look at me,” he says, his lips dragging on my stomach as he speaks, “you trust me, yeah?”
“yes,” i nod, breath shaky, “i do.”
“i want you to relax. keep your eyes on me, angel.”
i nod again, eyes trained on his unruly mess of curls as his thumbs tuck into the waistband of my panties, his eyes lifting back to mine in await of approval. when i give him the go ahead, he’s pulling the last fabric that adorns my body down my thighs, past my calves, and throwing them onto the floor.
i lay stripped down in front of him, in a state of complete and utter vulnerability, yet too needy and love drunk to bring myself to care about the way i look.
he lays down on his stomach between my legs, making my breath hitch as his warm breath hits my wet pussy. but when i feel his tongue glide through my folds, tensing when he reaches my clit to provide pressure, that breath is released in a heavy yet quivering sigh.
my hands reach out to tangle in his curls as he slowly drags his tongue around my achingly wet cunt, flexing and flattening the oral muscle depending on where it is on my body.
“Lukey,” i pant, body shaking as his lips enclose around my puffy clit, rolling it between them lightly before letting it go.
he pulls back with a smile, juices glistening around his mouth and chin, “you think you can take my fingers, angel?”
“mhm,” i nod, “yes, please!”
he dives back in, this time picking up his pace; and not a moment later, i’m squirming, a cry of contentment echoing through the room as he pushes two fingers in, curling them up with every thrust he makes.
i’ve given up on words, relying on the sounds that fall from my lips to let him know how surreal his movements feel.
his fingers begin to scissor, adding a pleasurably painful stretch in order to help me ready for him, and at the same time, he flicks his tongue against my clit, successfully drawing my mind away from the pain and towards the immense pleasure he’s bringing me.
my stomach feels tight, pressure building with every movement of his tongue and every thrust of his fingers.
“i’m so close.” i tell him in a breathless whimper, my hips grinding down upon his face and hand.
he moans against me in response, vibrations reverberating through me, and my walls begin to tighten around his fingers, the familiar feeling of balancing on the edge of orgasm spreading through my body.
my thighs close around his head, but he just hums against me again, making my toes curl against the sheets.
“Luke, i’m gonna cum.” i warn him, voice tightly strained, my breath catching in my throat.
my body is hot and sticky, the air moist as his hand begins smoothing up and down my thigh, and i take that as the sign to let go, my legs shaking as i finally reach my release.
Luke continues to lap at my clit, while his fingers work me through my orgasm until i can’t take anymore. breath heavy and body trembling, i push his head away, his face finally emerging with wet, swollen lips and a soft smirk.
“did so good for me.” he praises, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before he hovers back over me, pressing his lips against mine.
his tongue tangles with mine, tasting salty yet a little sweet, and i moan against his lips, my hands trail down his abs to hook into the waistband of his jeans.
“you gotta wait a second, angel,” he mumbles against my lips, “don’t wanna overwork you.”
i groan, turning my head, and his lips press against my neck.
“fuck that,” i tell him, fingers fumbling with the button of his pants, “i want you now.”
“if you’re sure?” i nod quickly at his words, making him sit back.
he hastily unbuckles his belt, not bothering to take it off before he’s unzipping his jeans, kicking them off and onto the floor before he rids himself of his boxers.
his cock springs free, his tip a harsh red and precum beads at the slit, glistening in the low light of the bedroom.
leaning over to his nightstand, he digs around in the drawer for a moment before his hand emerges with a shiny foil packet. he tears the packet open, pulling the condom out and carefully sliding it onto himself, and i watch with desperate eyes as he gives himself a few tugs before turning back to me.
he hovers above me, bent on one forearm as his other hand grasps his shaft. he spreads my wetness around with his tip, sliding through my folds easily, and when he taps against my clit, my whole body aches with need.
“please.” i beg, and that’s all it takes for him to line up with my entrance, his lips connecting with mine as he slowly pushes in.
i whimper against his lips, his cock stretching me with a stinging sensation with every inch that he pushes in, and he stills, opening his eyes to peer down at me.
“are you okay?” he asks softly, petting hair out of my face gently as he speaks.
“mhm,” i nod, hands grasping at his back, “keep going.”
he does as i say, this time giving shallow thrusts in order to work himself in slowly, only taking what my body allows him until he can finally sink into me entirely. by the time he’s completely in, the stinging pain has subsided, making way for blissful pleasure, but he still stops to check again.
after my reassurance, he picks up again, thrusting properly, but still slowly. his lips press back against mine, kissing me with raw passion and love.
“faster.” i whisper against his lips.
his hips speed up into fast, deep strokes, a hand snaking down to grip my waist. my moans carry through the room, conjoining with the sounds of sex and his hips slapping against mine as my leg hooks around his waist.
gripping his back, my nails scratch into his skin, earning a groaned whine from my boyfriend as his face buries into my neck, his thrusts gaining a harshness that they hadn’t held before.
“say you love me.” he gruffs against my skin, so low that i almost didn’t hear him.
“i love you,” i breathe out, “i love you, i love you, i love you.”
his lips connect with my collarbone, each kiss broken up by a single confession of love muttered from his tongue.
i can feel the knots forming in my stomach again, like a ball of yarn tangling and tangling, further tying together with each thrust of his hips. the tip of his cock smacks against my g-spot, my back arching from the mattress as i make a particularly loud cry.
“right there!” i tell him in a broken sob.
he smirks against my skin, angling his hips just right before thrusting back in to hit the spot again. now with each stroke, my orgasm builds even quicker, my nails scratching down his back.
my walls clench around him, making him grunt into my neck, and he picks his head up to kiss my lips, his thrusts becoming quicker and slowly losing rhythm.
“i’m close,” he mumbles, “so close.”
i nod in agreement, “me too.”
his hand slides between us, his thumb finding its way to my swollen clit, and he begins rubbing harsh circles into it, making my hips jolt, my breath catching i’m my throat.
“cum for me, angel,” he whispers, “let go.”
i nod, for what i’m not sure, but my body tenses up underneath him, walls tightening around his cock as he continues to thrust, and my eyes roll back, legs shaking as i come undone around him.
he fucks me through my orgasm, kissing me through my heavy breathing as his thrusts speed up, becoming sloppier and sloppier as he chases his high until he finally stills. his hips stutter as he grunts, releasing into the condom.
his body collapses on mine, the grounding weight bringing me back down to earth as we both pant in uneven breaths, our chests rising and falling rapidly.
we lay in silence for several minutes, enjoying the serenity of the quiet until he rolls off of me, slipping out from inside me.
“that was…” he trails off and i giggle, nodding my head.
“why did i wanna wait again?” he laughs at my response, shaking his head.
“i’m glad we did,” his fingers trail over my stomach, drawing shapes in my skin. “it was worth the wait, and i think knowing we love each other just made it more special.”
i hum in agreement, wrapping my hand around his before lifting it to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles.
he presses a kiss to my cheek before getting up to dispose of the condom. pulling on a pair of sweatpants, he assures me that he’ll be right back before leaving the room, reappearing a few minutes later with a granola bar and a water, along with a damp washcloth.
“head up,” he coos holding the water to my lips, and i let him help me take a few sips before he hands me the granola bar.
he cleans me up, my body shaking as he runs the cloth through my sensitive core, as i eat the snack, resting the wrapper on his nightstand.
he rifles through his dresser, coming back to the bed with a pair of of boxers and a t-shirt, and he helps me into them before climbing into the bed beside me. he pulls me back into him, his nose burying into the side of my neck as he kisses the back of it.
“i love you.” he tells me, arm winding around my stomach as he spoons me, my back to his chest.
my eyes feel as heavy as lead, but my heart races at his words, my entire world shifting into a golden state.
“i love you too.” i repeat, immediately followed by a heavy yawn.
“go to sleep, angel,” he hums and i can feel his eyelids flutter closed against my skin, “i’m right here.”
and with his reassurance and the feeling of his body pressed to mine, i allow by body to shut down, my breathing evening out as i fall asleep.
1K notes · View notes
diejager · 9 months
Note
BEGGING I WAS LEFT ON A CLIFFHANGER FOT THE MONSTER AU 141 😭😭😭😭😭
pretty pretty please 🙏🙏
Only Human pt.2
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Pairing: Monster Task Force 141 + König & Horangi x reader
Cw: canon-typical violence, hate, xenophobia, mention of racism, blood and violence, injury, fighting, protective 141, trauma?, anxiety, tell me if I missed any. wc: 6.3k
Only Human Masterlist
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Previous
You still wonder, to this day, why you were needed on the Task Force. It worked like a well-oiled machine when put to the task, nearly unstoppable in the face of enemies. Although you were prideful to call it your home, you felt lacking compared to them, all much stronger, fiercer, and nimbler than you in every aspect, separated by miles of distance. One thing, however, that you could wield with an iron fist was your human nature and people’s fear of newly implemented hybrids. The public expression from governments about welcoming them into their ranks and their society without staying hidden under the pretence of being sick or behind a veil of secrecy. 
You, after seeing how many Joint Task Forces and other Teams treated the 141, decided to deal with the introductions, the medium, the pacifier, between every team. Humans tended to react differently to another human than to a hybrid, they were nicer, less brutal and honest (a kind that held little spite). Laswell seemed more agreeable to your idea when you first came up to her with it, having seen the hate sent to hybrids she worked with. She encouraged you to be the first to interact or stand beside Price when he greeted human soldiers. Price, unlike Laswell, was reluctant at first. His instinct of protection and possession of his hoard made him less open to such ideas, especially if it brought you some, if any, backlash from other humans (humans are cruel, they shun what they don’t understand, they fear it and push to control it, if not, they destroy it. The need to control every aspect of their life made humans ruthlessly unremorseful and unsympathetic to other causes.).
As a tight-knit TF, some decisions are taken in votes, by hearing what the others thought of the idea or plan and his one was harsh. Ghost was hard-pressed on keeping you between them, the little, fleshy human of their Task Force (the youngest) and to let them deal with xenophobic glares while keeping you protected. Alejandro was similarly worried, but he knew the outcome of letting you speak first or accompany Price. He was torn. The others, Soap, Gaz and Rudy, seemed onboard, with the kind of why the fuck not? kind of look on their faces. Soap especially, he’d be able to stick close to you without having to hover over you like a protective guard dog. 
Seeing the votes in your favour, he let it pass, and no sooner had they needed to meet a second team - human soldiers - for the next deployment. You stood beside Price when he strutted down the walkway, shoulders broad and back straight, an image of a strong and fearless leader with his draconic tail flailing lowly. He, as intended, greeted them first, rank and name before he presented you, his little human helper with humans. They’d taken better to speaking to you, being spoken by one of their own rather than a hybrid. He saluted you more amicably and more sincerely:
“Pleasure meeting you, Hunter.”
“The pleasure’s all mine, Captain.”
Although it wasn't without its setbacks, the operation went well, you had been able to come out mostly unscathed, leaving a few enemies on the brink of death for Ghost to savour. He was most thankful, a part of his body dissolving into the finest mist as they washed over the living bodies sprawled on the ground. You watched on, mesmerised by the uncanny way Ghost’s body absorbed the bodies of others, flooding the area with his shadow while you stayed unbothered, in the same condition as he first started. His darkness reached your neck, covering you in a soft cover of warmth as he ground the bodies to ash and dust. His skin was cold, but his powers were darkly hot, burning with the embers of hell, of a dead soul coming back for revenge and evilness.
Beyond the fact that your idea worked, you liked feeling useful to them, having a semblance of usefulness in a team of extremely competent beings. You felt with first greetings from then on, smiling and saluting to the leading figures of the groups you’d work alongside. It lessened the weight on Price to appease and pacify the new additions, he’d be able to fare better with the operators now that they had a different welcome, a different kind of greeting. It played into the minds of wary men that a human was the one to greet them, that one of theirs was leading the hybrids for them. You played the perfect example of a soldier for any xenophobic bastard. 
Ghost, while still feared, received fewer glares than he usually would, occasional ones from daring or bold soldiers holding a lower rank than him, but he appreciated your attempts at making them more comfortable. He’s used to the negative reactions, had been since his childhood, but you seemed to make him feel like he deserved better, like he shouldn’t be glared, spat and scoffed at.
Soap, Rudy and Alejandro looked like human men in peak condition, if only for Soap and Alejandro’s glowing eyes and heightened strength and agility. Rudy was somewhat human, he looked and acted like one, down to the DNA, but with the title of cadejos vessel came powers. Perhaps not as strongly affecting as the rest of the hybrids, but he had subtle changes in his molecular making. 
Gaz had stares coming left and right, daggers sent his way for having wings and talons he couldn’t will them to disappear, to recess under his skin and wear the appearance of a human man. He felt the heaviest blow by both not being able to cover his gifts and the colour of his skin. Although you wanted to proclaim that your new age came with more open-minded people, you knew that it simply couldn’t fix hundreds of years of standards in a few decades. People would still judge others by the tone and colour of your skin, they’d still hate the different and the strange; just like they hated hybrids. So you kept to his side most often after your introductions, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close, letting him embrace you with a protective wing and a grateful smile.
You mostly worked hand in hand with human-filled teams and spear-headed human-led operations. So you were shocked, frozen to your core, when you saw a tiger haetae hybrid beside a tall, veiled operator walking down the cargo ramp. The hybrid, a tiger variant from the black-striped, orange tail that flickered slowly in a warning to any approaching beings. Dark glasses and a mask covered his face, his jacket and vest riding to the edge of his jaw, covering any skin from showing, though his lower back was left uncovered for the comfort of his swaying tail. He was neither short nor tall, he was tall enough to be slightly over the average height, but his teammate dwarfed him.
Perhaps his enormous height was an aspect of his monster half, or maybe he had the perfect genes to hold such a frame. He too, like his haetae operator, hid his face under a veil with maroon tears painted under his eyes. Like Ghost, he was covered head to toe in equipment and clothes, a jacket, a vest, gloves and black paint around his eyes. Whoever this was had both height and mass, burly arms and broad shoulders eclipsed by a slim waist and equally, disastrously thick thighs. On their left arm were flags, one from South Korea and the other from Austria.
They were the only ones to walk out, the only ones to approach you. Then your TF only had two new faces to work with rather than a whole team. You were tempted to say it would be easier, you waited until they stopped for Price - Price only - to greet them since they wouldn’t need a human to negate any aggressiveness between human and hybrid - or so you thought. They moved in synchrony, Price stepping forward to cover you with his body, his back facing you as he crossed his arms. Ghost and Alejandro had moved next to the captain, covering your sides. Alejandro had crossed his arm in a similarly menacing way, and Ghost stood still, body rigid but ready to strike at a moment’s notice; both were glaring ahead. Soap and Rudy took their places behind the colonel and the lieutenant, arms glued on their sides, weapons within reach with menacing stares towards the Korean and the Austrian. Gaz’s wings grazed you, soft feathers wrapping themselves around you and pulling you into his chest, acting as a protective cocoon for you. 
“What-?”
They moved so quickly and efficiently that they seemed to suddenly appear in place, back straight and protective. Protective of you. Hybrids, from what you’d heard from couples and families, were possessive of their own, caring and extremely wary of other hybrids they hadn’t formed a bond with. Your TF was your pack, they were all tethered to each other through the familial bond they formed over the years. Then you came in, small and weak with your human self into a den of lions, thrown to be subjugated to their loving mercy and sinfully strong personalities. 
The team of six hybrids encased you, barring the KorTac specialists from seeing you. Monsters and hybrids could sense one another - from what you heard - and they reacted instinctively. You saw their bodies tense as the two approached your team, muscles strained under the compacting anxiety and possessiveness. You could neither see over their shoulders nor feel what was happening, they stopped farther from you than you’d expected and you couldn’t see their feet. 
The only sign you had was your captain’s gravelly voice welcoming them, his tail swaying like a cat’s tail, a slow, cautious motion. It - knowingly or unknowingly, seeing as Price acted on a mix of instincts and worry - wrapped around your ankle, clinging tightly to your boot-clad leg while a rumble rattled his chest. Steam rolled from his lips, billowing over the top of his hat in a show of power and warning. You hoped they wouldn’t take this negatively. They worked hard to curb the harmful rumours of 141 being beasts in human skin, acting like blood-thirsty and ravaging monsters that cared for nothing but themselves. 
Although you couldn’t see them, the Austrian could, his towering height assured that he could see over almost any human, monster and hybrid alike. He was curious about the way they protected one of theirs as if you were weak. He cocked his head, green eyes gleaming red as he stared silently at the small mop of hair between them. What made you so important? What made you such a protected soldier? He couldn’t sense you like he could the others, their scent and magic masking yours in a violent torrent. 
Unlike him, his friend couldn’t be bothered with the show of protection, he’d enrolled for the money and wouldn’t be deterred by much. He was a tiger haetae, honourable to a certain extent and proud. He might be shorter than the hybrids around him, but he was as vicious and talented as the next. He, however, was slightly curious, but he wasn’t paid enough to inquire or worry about the doings of 141’s pack.
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It went as well as anyone would expect for the 141 with the added help of two military, hybrid operators from an elite PMC. As the combat medic of the TF, you followed them from behind and moved to the middle when you entered the building. You’d usually be at the back, being a medic, but you were a combat medic, having seen and participated in complete ops dealing with infiltrations and hostage rescue. You were an integral part of every mission. Now that they had a medic on hand, the wounds the men suffered could be treated in place rather than wait for the long ride home with the possibility of letting infection take root in the gash and watching it fester during hours in the carrier. 
They had a habit of getting shot and slashed, a tad bit reckless in their ways but still effective. The stress of risking infection or the impossibility of reaching a medic after a mission was lessened, Price would still be able to live a few more centuries before his hair turned grey with nerves and his face wrinkled with frowns. You were a treasure beyond the fact that you were extremely helpful and insightful on your own. Your hands were steady and your demeanour calm and collected (albeit fidgety when put under too much pressure and fiery when someone looked at them differently.), you were a beauty, someone they needed to nurse and protect. 
“I warned you about standing so close to the explosion!” They watched you berate Soap, cheeks puffed and lips pulled in an adorable pout. You went on a list of things he could’ve done better and safer than the decision he made, hands pulling the bandage around his arm, your bag set beside you. 
“How was I supposed ta know?” The werewolf grumbled, giving you his best version of his “puppy dog eyes'' while he slouched back, trying to sit as comfortably as possible on the hard seats of the aircraft carrier. 
“You’re a demolition expert, you’re supposed to know, Soap.” You hissed, tightening the wrap and smoothing it over so that it would hold. Your hand dipped into your bag, pulling out a few alcohol wipes for his face. With a jerky motion of your hands, you broke the seal and started patting his bleeding cuts from shrapnel and grazes from bullets. He winces with every dab, fidgeting in his seat while you disinfected his wounds, wiping away the dirt and blood before deeming it clean enough to move to the next one. “You also have a habit of setting things on fire.”
Although you mumbled it so quietly, the others heard you clearly, laughter rumbling out of the others while they watched Soap being scolded by the youngest. You never feared reprimanding them for an idiotic act that would result in having you tending to them, it was something they appreciated, the familiarity and comfort you had with them. They weren’t monsters, hybrids or anything with you, they were your family. 
Seeing you so at ease with them had König and Horangi curious, most would cower or segregate themselves from other hybrids. You especially, seeing as you were the only human with them, they thought it’d be normal to see you shrink onto yourself and ignore the world around you while you waited to return home. Yet here you were, berating a werewolf for cuts and bruises that would heal in the following days, his metabolism prevented infection and permanent scarring unless it was too deep or deadly. They’d simply add to his rugged handsomeness.
König wondered if you’d show him the same amount of compassion and ease when you tended to his wounds - if he ended up having any at all. Would your hands be soft like his mother’s when cradling his arm? Would you whisper soft nothings to him while you cleaned his gashes with antiseptics? Would you also scold him for being reckless? He doubted that. Granted, he was extremely reckless and lost himself to the adrenaline pumping through his system when he entered the field, but he always came out unscathed. As a percht hybrid, his extreme enhancements made him practically numb to pain and sensations, with the small exceptions of a few primarily driven emotions or natural reactions to certain stimuli.
Perhaps, if your efforts were thwarted by his immense height, you’d hold and tend to him as softly as you did with the others, running your fingers through his hair and cradling him against your chest. He thirsted for something mundane, something so human-like that he would be reminded that he wasn’t completely a monster. He missed the softness in people’s gazes or the carefree way they spoke to and with him. He missed being reminded that he - too - was a living being with their rights. You could be the start of a regular life - as regular as a mercenary could have.
Even Horangi, who had vehemently stated to König that he could care less about the small, weak human in the operation, gave you the merit of being strong-willed and confident enough to stand beside them. He, the ever prideful and strong hybrid he was, deemed you competent for a human. Your usefulness started with your quick reactions and impeccable skills in your field and stopped when you couldn’t save someone, which had yet to happen. He was intrigued by the workings of your TF, how they managed to score a single human and an amicable one at that, strong and fierce, yet gentle and compassionate. If he’d grown up with someone like you, would he have turned out the way he did? 
He simply watched from his corner beside König, through tinted glasses his eyes followed your movement, memorising everything you did for your brothers. They felt like imposters in your small, seven-men group, seemingly standing awkwardly in their little corner. 141 had shown a bit of aggression towards them in warning words and deadly glares when they assumed you didn’t see them, hissing out threats to ensure your safety among them. Not only were they confused by the dynamic, but they weren’t told anything besides “Back off” and growls. 
After patting Gaz’s knee, giving him an oscar winning smile with gleaming eyes that were received with enthusiasm, you packed your things in your bag and moved to the next patient. You skipped Price, Ghost and Rudy, crouching in front of Alejandro. Rummaging through your bag and handing him a clean wipe for his dust-covered face, the soot clinging to his cheeks. He expected you to sit by your locked rifle after checking them, but you continued walking. You were heading towards them.
He knew König left the ground unscathed, clean of anything but dirt and blood, which meant he was the one you were heading towards. Hand on your pouch and a steady step backed up by a determined expression, you stopped before him. He tilted his head, a silent question. You blinked dumbly, holding out your hand to him, your small fingers backing him to give you something.
“Can I see your hand?”
His hand? He hadn’t thought much of it as he rested it on yours, palm upwards and gloveless. He saw it then, the small cut that bled red, small enough to be neglectable, but long enough to still be bleeding. He hadn’t felt anything from it before or after boarding the aircraft, he must’ve still been riding the adrenaline rush from the fight. He wondered how you knew he hurt himself.
Your fingers curled around his palm, holding it firmly as you lightly dabbed the inflamed skin with a sterilised tissue, being careful of the flared sides of his torn flesh. Under the blood and dirt, his skin was pale and swollen, the area having demanded his body to react to the potential bacteria that would worm its way into his system. You threw the bloody tissue aside and got an antiseptic wipe, being careful to not irritate his wound. Your care was gentle and patient. To a being like him, a hybrid and KorTac op, gentle and patient were foreign words to him. None were gentle to hybrids and none were patient with mercenaries. 
Even as you wrapped the gauze and bandage around his hand, you gave him all your attention, sweetly cradling his hand between yours and nursing his gash with utmost care. It felt alien, the soothingly soft care of a medic. Other medics would’ve stared at him with disgust or hate if he walked near the infirmary, or they were rough and uncaring towards his needs. 
“Thank you,” he mumbled, the sudden realisation of his silence in the face of a benevolent angel and the rush of embarrassment that flushed his neck hotly. He stared dumbly at his hand when you left, placed on his thigh with the white bandage staring right at him. The warmth of your hand had sunk into his skin, the feather-light tenderness of your fingers painted in his memory and your smile and determined expression stuck to him. 
Even as he let his mind wander and body thirst for another taste of your gentleness, he could feel the burning stares of the other men. König with his curious and envious gaze, wanting to feel the snippet you offered Horangi, wanting your hands and stare at his giant figure. The 141 with their protective and warning glare, resenting him for taking a few minutes of your attention from them. You’d moved on your own, making your decision to help him with his small wounds as you did with them, he hadn’t forced you or compelled you to treat him.
Perhaps there was more than money and experience that was worth in this joint operation. 
When the success of their first mission reached the prying ears of the General, he’d given them a few more joint ops - paid by the United States pockets, of course. Horangi and König were given temporary rooms in the barracks, in the same corner as the other hybrids and you, but far enough to show that they were excluded from them. Fortunately, they wouldn’t share the room, tigers were protective of one’s territory, and a percht hybrid - as rare as it may be - was documented to be hyper-possessive of their things, especially so for someone like König. 
Horangi didn’t ignore you anymore, wanting to start a conversation when he passed you or staring at you from the other side of the room until you waved at him, letting him know he could approach you. He worked relentlessly to close the gap he had made between you, wanting to attach himself to the one good thing he had. Yet he had to be cautious, any indication of him being a threat to you would make your team act out in unison, pushing him back and covering you like they did the second he descended the ramp. 
Ghost would hover over you, his body moving the darkness around him to seem more menacing. Ghost always glared at him when you turned your back to the Brit, his brown eyes swirling with the promise of death and devastation. Ghost wasn’t a physical hybrid, as Horangi had learned, but he had no qualms about keeping a hand on your hip or over your shoulder, acting as an imposing being that showcased his claim on you so publicly. It filled the Korean with envy and anger, he wanted to touch you as easily as the wraith did, he wanted a claim on you like the Lieutenant did, and he wanted to hold you close. 
If not Ghost, it’d be Rudy or Gaz crowding you. If you were in the rec room, Gaz would usually be there with you. His arm thrown over your shoulders, pulling you into his side while his wings curled around you two, dark brown feathers ruffled to look menacing but comfortable to your touch. With the way he sat, slouching and legs spread across the sofa, he took all the available seats on the cheap, brown couch. When Gaz caught sight of him, he’d purposefully moved to take up more space, showing just how much one of the nicest of the 141 ostracised him. Although when someone from his TF, he’d move aside, giving space to the man to join them. 
If you were walking around the base, Rudy - or Rudolfo as Horangi was forced to call him - would be by your side. Rudy had an arm wrapped around yours, seemingly like a military couple out on a casual walk, or he had his hand on your back, acting as the protective lover. Rudolfo’s smile was always wide and adoring when Horangi saw him walk you, exchanging words and making you laugh. It stung Horangi in an inexplicable way as if someone was knowingly sentencing him to death without any proof of his accountability. Rudy, the second nicest guy, also made glaring passes his way, pulling you closer to his side, directing you away and staring coldly at Horangi.
It rubbed him wrong, all the silent glares and insults at him to push him farther from you, but he was Horangi the Tiger haetae. He made his calculations, he was as smart and as resourceful as he was patient. Give it a few more missions together and they would loosen enough to let him swoop you off your feet. You were his source of comfort, of love and gentleness, he had to protect it. 
Unlike Horangi, König actively sought you out on the base, following the trail of your scent and the soft noises of your voice and heartbeat. He was like a dog on your trail, nose sniffing every bit of air for you and ears strained for any noise you’d make. His senses were stretched thin to find a moment with you. He was as animalistic as a hybrid could get, leaning towards his monster to help him with his ops and trials. 
You piqued König’s curiosity, making him wander the halls like a lumbering monster in a dark veil and glaring, red eyes. He saw how you treated big and dangerous monsters like the dragon hybrid you had as a captain, a respectable man, as soft as you treated the rowdy and rough werewolf and gracefully dangerous nagual. König wanted to feel your softness on him, your small hand grasping the tight muscles of his shoulders and back, kneading the tension away with grounding massages and stretches. You were their doctor, you cared enough to join them in the field, so you’d naturally be willing to mass the pain out of his body, no? 
He wanted moments alone, where he could speak his mind without fear of being interrupted or pushed away for his imposing stature and aura. He wanted to place a hand on your waist, to feel the plush roundness of your stomach and the firm contour of muscle on your thighs. He wanted his voice to carry easily in the void of silence, where his voice could be heard by you from a small whisper. He wanted your eyes to focus on him, solely, as if he was your world. 
He found it rather irritatingly difficult to find such moments. When he followed your scent through the halls and down to the medic's office, he’d find Captain Price crowding the room with his powerful musk of Ashe and fire - of metal and iron. Although Price was much shorter and lesser ranked than König was, he held the power of age and wisdom, an unfathomable strength that lay solely in draconic beings. This eternal power that none could rival apart from Eldritch beings, most cower, whimper and hide from dragons. He wore his power and wisdom on his sleeves, a warning for everyone, him and his KorTac operators included. König might’ve been reckless, but he wasn’t a fool, fighting headfirst with dragon seamed chaos and devastation. So, as any hybrid did, he backed away, an old dragon was dangerous, but a crippled one made it even more perilous.
When König tried to find you in the rec room, you were held in the tight embrace of a possessive wolf. Soap had you straddling his lap, facing him as he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck. He purred and kissed your skin, making you squirm and giggle, but then Soap’s eyes gazed upwards and grew cold and unruly at König’s appearance. A proud - dare he say, cruel - smirk curled the corners of his lips. That was when he realised what the sergeant was doing. Soap, in the open, was scenting you, rubbing his musk over your neck, where - if you were another sifting hybrid like him and Alejandro - would’ve been your scent gland. It was a blatant show of possession. He nipped at your throat, drinking in your yelp and hiss, your back arching and moving to push him from biting too much. It filled him with rage.
If you weren’t with either dragon or werewolf, you were with Alejandro, the Hispanic scenting you as much as Soap did, but he did it with more finesse and subtlety. He would draw your hair back, the gland on his wrist grazing your neck and ears, imprinting you with him. Alejandro would hold your hand, fingers neatly intertwined with yours, his face laying on your shoulder as he spooned you in his lap. He purred and whispered sweet promises that had you nodding and smiling like a child on Christmas. He oosed of pheromones, filling the area with his scent and in turn, covering you completely in him. König watched with envy as Alejandro read to you, cradled between his thighs and falling asleep, his, Soap and everyone else’s musk laying a possession over you. 
König’s a determined person when he put his mind to it, willing his beaten and bloodied self back to camp, or his sleep-deprived and insomniac-ridden mind to concentrate on the enemy. He was a battering ram, he pushed forward forcefully, however hard he had to, all to reach the end goal. This time, it wouldn’t be the head of his target, or the capture of an asset, this time, it would be you.
They both wondered, with how close your TF was, what was the dynamic. Was it a pack that shared the same lover? Was it a pack that had formed such a close connection to a human that you were deemed an integral part of the pack? Or were you the child they watched over and protected?
The next few missions 141 and the two from KorTac went on were as successful as the first, the cooperation of two ruthless mercenaries and a hybrid, specialist group made these tasks easy, near child’s play for them. Along with the aspect of having a medic on hand, it let them run wild, play along the edge and act more recklessly than they normally would. Having Horangi and König for so long, made them become a standard in the base, seeing them walk among the shorter and weaker humans. That also meant they had seen their fair share of xenophobic soldiers with balls bigger than a dragon’s and an ego the size of an Eldritch creature. 
Every hybrid and monster was used to their hateful glares and sneering venom-dripping words. Ignoring them had become easier after the first year of enrolment. Horangi and König were, however, not used to someone defending them with their most honest heart of gold with earth-shattering words. 
The first time they’d seen you defend your team was right after a mission, haunches, lumbering bodies descending the carrier’s ramp with their bags slung over their shoulders and addled with fatigue after a week of deployment. Young, power-hungry sergeants who’d let their ranks get to their heads had slid before them, head held high and shoulders held wide. Every single one of them knew that the moment the sergeant’s mouth opened, nothing good would come out of it. Perhaps degrading insults or back-handed sneers.
When the first sentence slipped from the man’s tongue, you pushed your way between them, barrelling into the man who’d insulted them. A deep frown was etched into your lips, brows creased so darkly into you that it cast a dark shroud of anger over your face. If König hadn’t known that you were a human, he would’ve thought that you were a being of darkness. 
“You dim-witted bastards-!” Was the first word you let out, your usually soft-spoken self with gentle hands spewed acid at them, threatening to burn their skin. 
Dim-witted, indeed. Old, conservative assholes who thought they were better than the rest with their pro-human propaganda and xenophobic acts against hybrids. Horangi had expected you to continue your scolding, wringing the sergeant dry with your words, not your hands. You used your hands, fingers curled inward, thumb over the curves of your bones and decked the man. It shocked them both, you were smaller, shorter, human and seemed weaker than the men, yet here you were, sending him toppling on the floor, his friend gaping and pouncing on you. Only to be met with your foot to his crotch. 
“You bet your ass you won’t get any medical attention after this,” you hissed.
Although your words sounded improbable since you weren’t the only medic on base, you had built a connection through the system, every medic knew you and heeded your words. If one didn’t want a man healed, you and the rest wouldn’t help him. If you wanted a man to suffer, the rest would watch on with you. Medics were themselves, a tight-knit couple that helped one another. So your words were more than a threat, it was a promise. 
“Until I see your sorry asses on your deathbed or grovelling, none of us will lift a finger for you. Bleed and beg all you want, but you aren’t getting help.”
You acted with an iron hand, sending the rest to the ground, moaning and groaning, cradling whatever part of their body you’d hit. They wondered why Ghost hadn’t moved, and neither did Gaz or Rudy, the most protective ones. When König glanced down at Ghost, he saw pride in his eyes, dark curled on sadistic pleasure swirling in his brown eyes. When Horangi gazed at Gaz and Rudy, he saw simple amusement, their mouths threatening to curl in a smirk.
All of them had known you’d act this way, erratic and violent rather than calmly scold them and stomp over their ego. You were strong-headed and blunt to them, making them bow to you, like lesser men to a lady, a queen, a goddess. 
Horangi had experienced his own protection from you. After the men had loosened enough to trust him and König, he could walk beside you and hold a simple banter, albeit awkward at the start. You were much more violent this time, reaching for the downed man while hissing and screeching after you sent him to the floor with well-aimed kicks. You were like a gremlin, small and lively. He understood your anger, they’d called him racist things, calling out his Asian roots and hybrid characteristics. 
Horangi had to hold you from going off on him following your promise of neglecting his medical needs. It worked, though. The first group had searched to plead, to apologise and beg for medical attention. You’d sent them away with a small note lifting the ban for medical help. You were as ruthless with people as they were to enemies. 
Any other encounters with hot-headed men and women that glanced at them weirdly were met with a varying amount of anger and disgust from you. Horangi understood why 141 held you so carefully, so tightly in their hold. Why they worshipped you like a priest would do with his goddess. It was a sense of camaraderie that had evolved into love, affection dripping from their pores. 
König received a bit more attention for his size, the threatening nature of his ouster coupled with his brute figure, made him a subject of fear and rejection. That hadn’t stopped you from wanting to approach him, had it? Going as far as calling him cute when he stuttered while broaching the subject of him liking certain things. For a burly man with the height of a giant, he was nice to sit next to, his quiet but anxious stature when he wasn’t deployed made it easy to talk to. He might sometimes let his instincts drive him, but they were all well-meaning, wanting nothing but goodness for you. 
His turn came in quick succession, he was shunned and ridiculed left and right. It never helped that he would shy from others, preferring his little corner that made the room look stranger and claustrophobic (not that he let them walk all over him, he growled and glared, standing tall with the promise of lashing out or eating them. Even when humans feared König, they still attempted to rile his anger.). But with you, he wasn’t by his lonesome, he had someone to rattle on about the things he liked to do, or the things he wanted to do. His shoulders were relaxed and mind calm, free to speak his mind about the goriest and the sweetest dreams he had, his speech unperturbed by his anxiety. 
Unlike the others, König stood before you as an impenetrable wall of muscle and fat when you raised your hand at an insignificant pig. Why would he let someone so disgusting touch you (even though it was to hit and kick the man, he would do it for you instead)? He guarded you as if they were insulting you rather than him - though it was the reverse - and glared down at anyone with dreadfully scary eyes. Like the devil that had risen, he sent them running with their tails tucked between their legs. Although he was the one that had gotten rid of them, he was always so proud of you, holding you close to him and gushing about your brave and inspiring actions. 
He saw how the men in 141 looked at you, he wanted to be a part of it, to be able to freely nuzzle your face and hold you like Soap would, to cradle you in his arms and carry you around the base. König wanted a piece of your heart, to be able to show the world he held it in his hands, caring for it between his big, calloused fingers and soft affection. He might be dangerous, he might be deadly, he might be reckless, but if you let him, you would be his world like you were to the others (Horangi would agree, they spoke about it on their own.).
Next
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neil-gaiman · 5 months
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Hello, Neil Gaiman. I am writing this letter of gratitude because I am in despair, but I am obliged to you. I am Russian, I live in a small town in the south of Russia, in the Caucasus. a month ago I turned 16, so now I am fully responsible for all my actions. I'm bisexual, which is now illegal. you understand what I mean, but I’m simply scared to write about such things. absolutely no one knows about this, and I have to hide every day. this is an unbearable burden, but I must say thank you. because your projects are what gives me life. you have no idea how much pleasure it was for me, at eight years old, to fearfully admire Mr. Bobinsky. when, at 14, I finally saved up money for the Russian edition of Good Omens, which I had to order via the Internet not directly, but through my friends, I was quietly delighted. it is worth paying tribute to: this edition is really good and very warms the soul, its design may not be filled with elegance with a golden border, but it is very homely, cozy and imbued with love for the work, this can be felt, even if the translation is not the best. and on the very first pages I felt something that I had never experienced, having problems with the nervous system and anxiety: I felt protected and happy. I felt complete. each line was a sip of life-giving water for me. let me be so bold but this book is perfect for me and it's hard to believe it wasn't written for me personally haha. like two pieces of a puzzle. I hold the book of Good Omens, and I cry almost every time because it feels good just to hold it in my hands. you shouldn’t put this next to fanaticism, it’s just personal happiness. sometimes I felt so safe with this book that I hugged it as I fell asleep. then I saved up to the translation of script book for the first season, and I must say that I am confused, because there are no deleted scenes in it with Crowley shopping or the opening of Aziraphale's bookstore and others, and this was not clear to me. and a month ago, on October 30, my cousin, who is like my own sister, gave me the original Good Omens for my birthday. can you imagine? in all of Russia she was able to find only one person who carried out such foreign orders (please forgive me, I have little understanding of this). so, in some ineffable way, a copy was delivered to me via America from Corgi Books, I think, 2014. soft cover and thin pages, of course, but I'm so happy. and I’m also grateful to myself, because I’ve been learning English since I was seven, and therefore I’m glad that I can read the original. oh, you should have seen with what rapture I waited for the release of the second season at three in the morning! and with what delight I watched it in English without subtitles, understanding what was happening. this is happiness. what I want to say is that you bring…indescribable happiness to my life. you give me strength, and I don’t give up. I cry every time I allow myself to dream that I am escaping from here. that I can meet you and say thank you in person with my stupid accent, not so much because of my native language, but because of the braces, hahaha. but I never stop dreaming about it, although even this is hard. thank you for everything. I wish only peace and love. with devotion, love and gratitude, A.
I'm sending thoughts of love and concern. Stay safe.
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natailiatulls07 · 1 month
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Could you please do the drivers reaction to driver reader bringing a boy to the race?
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Formula one grid x female!driver!reader Male!OC x female!driver!reader
Summary - Being youngest on the grid meant that Y/n was heavily protected by many other drivers so when she gets a partner it's mixed emotions all around
Warning - Small anxiety
Reader drives for Mercedes
Part two
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"Are you sure? I know that some of the fans can be a little crazy about my private life..." In the past few months, Y/n had started a relationship with a guy she matched with on tinder. Not many people knew of the relationship, only her family and her management team.
Although that would change today, it was the first race of the season and they had wanted to hard launch their relationship. Adam, her new partner, was a lawyer and had his own wealth behind him but he was really proud of Y/n and loved to support her.
He could tell how nervous she was, seeing how she kept fidgeting with her hair and teamwear. "Hey, it's okay. Plus if any thing happens and you have to take legal action, you have a great lawyer on your side" He would often use humour to calm down his f1 driver girlfriend, loved to bring even the smallest of smiles to her face.
Adam took hold her hand, stopping her from fidgeting so much and started to drag her to the paddock entrance where fans stood behind barriers waiting to catch a glimpse of a driver.
-
As they began to walk past the barriers, fans were shouting her name and some were asking questions about the man who held her hand. They both had proud and confident smiles painted on their faces, any anxiety seemingly disappeared.
"Y/n! Y/n! Is that your new partner?"
Nodding her head, Y/n stopped to sign some merch and greet some fans. "Yes, yeah he is. Meet Adam" Looking over her shoulder, she felt how Adam had his hands gently resting on her waist. They were both very big on pda.
Thankfully the fans had reacted well to the new face. Some softly threatening Adam not to hurt their favourite driver, which got a laugh out of Y/n and some fear out of Adam.
Soon they started toward the main entrance of the paddock, waving goodbye to the fans and individually scanning their passes. Yet as soon as Y/n set foot into the paddock, dread and anxiety plagued her mind once again.
Only now remembering that she'd have to introduce Adam to her fellow drivers, her adopted big brothers. If today weren't such an important day, she would've turned around and made her way home. Procrastinating the eventual doom.
As usual, the man still held her hand in his could sense her fear. And he knew exactly why. "Look I know I have never meet them and I know that they very protective of you but I'll try my best to earn their approval, I promise..." He coached her to take a deep breath but pulling her forward to continue the walk.
They were passing by the Ferrari hospitality area when we heard a loud shout before some softly running of feet. "Disculpe! Y/n!" A strong spanish accent mde itself known behind the new couple.
Whilst Y/n tensed, Adam turned around fully with a confident smile. "Hi you must be Carlos right? It's lovely to meet you" He started a positive conversation, only to be met with a glare and scowl from Carlos.
"Yes, that's me. And who are you?" The spanish driver snapped back, snatching Y/n's arm and pulling her away from her partner. "What do you want from Y/n?"
Taking her arm back out of his grasp, Y/n moved back to Adams side with a sign.
She knew that the other drivers would be just as protective and some even more than Carlos. "Carlos..." Her voiced broke through the awkward silence that he created. "This is my new partner, Adam. You can chill out..."
All shoulders relaxed as she explained, a small guilty smile replaced the scowl on Carlos' face. Reaching out his hand towards Adam as both an apologie and a better introduction.
After a small conversation between the three, Y/n realised that the couple had to continue down the paddock. Saying goodbye to Carlos, the two were walking down to her team garage once again but were quick stopped once again.
This time by her old teammate and the reigning champion the grid. "Y/n, um who's this?" Unlike Carlos, Max was more shy and cautious rather than forward and hostile. Something Adam was thankful of.
"Hi I'm Adam, I'm Y/ns partner. It's nice to meet you, also I promise to take good care of Y/n..." After his last interaction with Carlos, Adam tried even harder to prove himself. "Please, I promise I love her a lot and-"
Max raised his hand to stop the ramble from the younger man. He had a small smile on his face, slightly amused by his fear. "It's okay, I don't doubt it. I'm sure you'll prove yourself over the next couple of weeks..."
Giving Y/n a quick hug and Adam a pat on the shoulder, Max told them that he had an important meeting to attend and he'll see them around.
-
Finally they arrived at the Mercedes hospitality and when they first entered, Adam eyes turned to the other driver in the room. Lewis, he was sat at one the table along with some of his management team.
Much like Adam, Lewis immediately noticed their presence in the room and beckoned them over to him.
"Hi Lulu!" Y/n quicking moving to give her beloved teammate a hug before moving back to her partners side. "Lulu meet Adam, he's my partner and Adam meet Lulu, my teammate."
Unlike the other two drivers, Lewis had a reassuring smile on his face whilst getting up from his seat to give Adam strong handshake. "Well it's nice to meet you Adam, I assume you'll take good care of that crazy women right there. I wish you the best"
It was short and simple but it meant a lot to Adam. Immediately he felt approved by a legend in the sport and by someone who Y/n considered a father figure.
"Thank you, I'll take good care of her"
-
>Seb! -Seb!!! -SEB OMG I HAVE NEWS!!! >What?! >It's about Y/n!! >Well go on tell me!!!!! >She has a partner! -His name is Adam and tbh I can see them getting married!!! >THATS BOLD >IKR But it's true! -They're perfect for eachother!!! >I need to meet him first and approve him first before they can even think about engagements >Ofc ofc
-
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danytar · 1 month
Text
“I will make them pay a hundred times over” [ King! Aegon!Targaryen X Sister!Wife!Reader ]
Warnings : anxiety - miscarriage - Blood and mention of murder - Incest
Summary : After the cheese and blood incident aegon's wife suffers from an early miscarriage and PTSD which make her husband to become extremely angry and sad about what happened to his children and wife.
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The dance of dragons had begun and you were just realizing that as Aegon's sister wife, you will suffer the most. Being Aegon's queen wasn't easy. Rhaenyra's son Lucerys, who crowned herself queen at the Dragonstone, was killed.
And in response, rhaenyra's husband daemon sent two men calling themselves Blood & Cheese to kill Aegon and your son Jaehaerys. You begged the men to take your life. You begged them to kill you and your baby in your womb whose existence you learned a few days ago. But neither blood nor cheese accepted this. Your son Jaehaerys was murdered by them
Your precious son was killed before your eyes and you were unable to protect him or do anything could save him you were left in front of your son's headless body to drown in your resolve and shock.
Your screams shook the walls of the Red Keep Moments later, your husband rushed to you with his guards Your brother and mother have come with him as well The king's eyes fell on the body of his eldest son, who was brutally murdered Then he looked at you.. Your condition was miserable and difficult. You were kneeling on your knees and your tears were constantly flowing.
“Bring the person who responsible for this! now! Bring him to me!” Your husband shouted at the guards angrily.
The guards nodded and rushed to investigate the incident...while the servants were rushing in to clean the place and cover the body from your sight. Aegon knelt down next to you and hugged you tightly “My love- You interrupted him “It's a- all m-my faul-t!”. You spoke in a trembling voice.
“No. it's not”. He replied, trying to reassure you.
Before you could answer him again You felt your stomach clench and twist suddenly Your husband noticed your sudden behavior and your distance from his embrace “ Darling.. W- what's wrong? ”. he ask you.
But you felt so intense pain penetrating you that you could no longer hear anything else in the room. Your hands quickly slid under your dress to check out.. as soon you saw your fingers covered in your own blood You sighed quickly and looked at your husband “ The baby is coming”. you told him.
Your husband's eyes widened in shock and worry “Where's the FuCkin MaeSTeRs! ”. The king shouted. Your mother, the Queen Dowager, held your other hand and tried to comfort you “Relax, my dearest love, everything will be alright”.
But you knew one thing: the child in your womb would not survive Because you are still in the early stages of pregnancy. as soon as impossible you went into a very painful and difficult labor. You wished you the death hundred times to free yourself from this pain.
Even the midwives' words and encouragement did not make you happy Or at least relieve your pain. “You have to be strong my queen this is your third time on this bed”. Aegon comfort you and kisses the palm of your hand lightly.
“I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! ”. you replies while you feel as if your insides are being torn apart. Your husband was by your side and your mother too. Despite your pain, you were unable to put your son’s body away from your mind, which made your pain worse. You were begging your husband to kill you and free you from this torment.
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After a long struggle and a painful labor like hell, you gave birth to a deformed and underdeveloped boy. Your mother put her hand to her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. aegon was unable to speak, he was devastated. now he lost his firstborn son and his son who was in your womb It was hard for him and you You remained silent.. You didn't even have any tears left to cry..
“What happened?”. This question was on the back of your mind.. Weeks ago, you and your husband were lying together, suggesting names for your new baby..
and yet this happens to your happy family ofc it wasn't your choose everything was out of your control. It was not your fault or your husband's fault.
It was very painful for you to see the bodies of your children preparing to be consumed by fire. aegon was by your side, holding your hand to support you mentally and emotionally.
Of course, seeing his dear queen in this state shattered him into small fragments... but he did not want to show it in front of others. He did not want to show his weakness in front of people or in front of you at this moment because you needed him.. You needed his support now.
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Later, you were sitting in your chair next to the fire with a cup of wine in your hand to bury your sadness and pain in it. The room was very silent. You were so sad and broken that you did not even bother to attend the council with your husband. Your precious son is now dead and you have lost your child.. What is the benefit of the council now?
Aegon entered the room quietly, with clear signs of fatigue on his face he saw you there drinking, trying to console yourself with those cups He slowly walked towards you as he said “What was done to Jaehaerys will not go unpunished. I swear. I will avenge our son”.
you heard him talking and you stopped drinking for a moment, then sighed quietly and you answered him with a hoarse, Your voice was like a whisper “I will avenge him.. we will average our son.. ”.
Aegon looked back at you, holding your hand. His eyes looked a little drunk and filled with rage.“What they did to Jaehaerys...”.
He couldn't even finish his words and instead clenched his fist as his face went red with rage. He gulped from his cup and then said.
“I promise you, I will avenge his death. I will make them pay.”
you looked at him and replies with an angry and sad tone in your voice. “ I don't want you to promise me.. I want them DEAD!”.
His gaze was intense, and you could see the rage in his eyes. A low growl came from his throat. He looked as if he was on the verge of bursting with rage.
“I won't just promise you... I won't just avenge Jaehaerys and then let that be the end of it. I will burn them all... I will make them suffer.”
His voice was full of hatred and his hand gripped your hand tightly. Still looking at you with burning eyes, he added.
“I am tired of losing people I love. I won't sit still and do nothing while they tear me down piece by piece”.
He was now standing and he looked even more furious.
“Rhaenyra will not have her happiness. She has to suffer for what happened. I will not wait, I will not be patient. I will act as soon as possible”.
Your eyes filled with tears again and you swallowed trying to speak “Please.. do". Your words were incoherent and broken.
“He was our son.. our sweet boy”. She whispered hoarsely
Aegon was angry, but his face changed. Anger and coldness was replaced by something warm as he looked at your tear-filled eyes. His face softened as he saw your broken voice. He still was angry and raging but he also realized that you were broken as well.
He kneeled in front of you, still holding your hand, and his face now looked at yours. He took your other hand as well. He was angry, but not with you. He couldn’t take his eyes off yours, and his expression was tender.
“Shhh.. everything will be alright my dearest I promise”. he replies then he moved closer to hug your head to his chest.. You sobbed into his chest like a little girl...while he gently stroked your silver hair and kissed your head.
“They will pay for every single tear that falls from you eyes”. he whipped
Your grip on his collar tightened.. You slowly lifted your head from his chest and looked at his face He slowly leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss Your arms quickly wrapped around his neck The two of you exchanged desperate kisses..
You both broke the kiss and looked at each other.. then he said “I will make them pay a hundred times over.. ”.
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wooahaes · 2 months
Text
svt - with a shy partner
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pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader
prompt: svt with a partner who is shy(/kinda anxious).
genre: mostly fluff. established relationship in all.
warnings: reader getting anxious. some food mentions throughout. alcohol/clubbing mentions in soonyoung's (reader has a shitty time) + mentions of reader having shitty friends in soonyoung's. seungkwan yelling at someone being a dick in his. vernon fakes sick. usage of 'dude' as a term of endearment in vernon's. minghao being affectionately evil. chan being a lovable menace for a moment to distract them (teasing + tickling reader). intentional lowercase, no proofreading.
daisy’s notes: sorry some of these are longer than the others, i just wanted to write mostly affectionate sweet established relationships. also this is probs veering into anxiety territory at some points im sure.
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choi seungcheol
seungcheol knew that you loved him softly. this would never be an issue with him: some people simply weren't loud when it came to loving others, and he was never going to turn away your subtle touches and loving words. being outgoing was hard for you even now in life, where seungcheol had learned to manage it well. therefore, he knew how to take care of you in social situations. he would lead conversations when you were faltering, and he always stayed close to you just to give you someone to latch onto when things were getting to be too much. shy as you were, you still tried sometimes.
and now he was on his way to save you from yet another conversation with the only two friends of his you allowed to tease you.
joshua was snickering at whatever jeonghan had said to you to make you shrink into your sweater (the one that matched seungcheol's, with the heart patches on the elbows), and you looked as though you might drown yourself in the soft fabric if jeonghan didn't stop. but seungcheol knew as well as you did that all it would take is you saying a firm 'quit it' for both men to back off. they were harmless, through and through. but the moment seungcheol was close enough, you already sought refuge at his side, burying your face into his sweater. he could feel your face burning hot.
"what are you saying to them now?" seungcheol rolled his eyes, arm wrapped around you. "are you trying to kill them?"
"all i did was point out that you two are matching again," jeonghan hummed. "it's not my fault they get embarrassed when i point it out."
joshua rolled his eyes. "cheollie to the rescue again."
"shua!" you peeked back at him, lips pressed into a very cute pout. "cheollie, they're bullying me again..."
seungcheol fought back a laugh. that was always how these things played out. jeonghan and joshua, two of your longtime friends, would tease you a little, and then you would pout at your cheollie while he protected you. hell, the latter half was usually how seungcheol saved you from other silly things. he'd been the "excuse me, they asked for no pickles" kind of boyfriend to you time and time again... mainly because he knew you'd hold your tongue otherwise, trying not to bother people. but with these two? you were comfortable playing this little game.
so seungcheol squared up a little. "are they?"
jeonghan rolled his eyes. "here they go again." and he grabbed joshua by his elbow, leading him away with an excuse. if seungcheol hadn't been matching you, maybe they would have played... but something about matching anything gave seungcheol this weird boost of strength.
seungcheol rolled his eyes in turn, wrapping his arms around you as he turned his attention away from them. "i'm glad you're okay with them, you know." he let out a blissful sigh. "it's cute to see you embarrassed."
"cheollie..." you pouted again, eyes meeting his own. you glanced around the room, suddenly acutely aware of how you'd been holding onto him. no doubt your face was burning hot with embarrassment again. "can we go home now?"
he chuckled, leaning to kissing the top of your head. "we can," he promised. "let's go."
yoon jeonghan
if there was one thing that endeared jeonghan to you, it was the cute flustered expression you had whenever he started flirting with you. no matter how long the two of you had been dating, all he had to do was call you adorable to see your eyebrows shoot up, lips agape as you made some comment about how the two of you were 'past that' now. his favorite moments, however, were these: you were trapped on one end of the couch, legs draped over his lap, and he was toying with you idly. sometimes it'd be admiring your hands, or complimenting your hair, or pointing out how much he admired you sense of style...
today? he'd been pinching your cheeks with that wicked giggle you loved (even if you refused to admit it sometimes). "you're just so cute," he snickered. "i'm so lucky..."
"hannie..." you whined, eyes still pinned to the tv screen. "you're missing it."
your face was burning hot underneath his touch, though. a little win in his book. "i'm trying to appreciate you right now," he teased. his gaze flickered back to the tv, where the male lead was (finally) confessing his love. "what does he have that i don't?"
"jeonghan, i--'
"do you like him more than me?" he teased you further, leaning in. "i could be him. he couldn't be me, though."
your gaze met jeonghan's as you pouted a little, yet never pulled away from his touch. "jeonghan..."
"i'll re-do my confession to you," he dropped one hand to rest on the outside of your thigh, leaning in. that jovial expression dropped for a moment as he became completely serious for a moment, playing it up all too well, "i'm in love with you. do you... could you be in love with me, too?" he traced your bottom lip with his thumb. "i know you once loved joshua, but--"
and that was your breaking point as you pushed his hand away, already snorting. "jeonghan!"
before you could try to dive away from him, jeonghan had wrapped his arms around you, that airy laugh punctuating his break in character. he pulled you back in, head resting on your shoulder. "you're too easy to mess with," he giggled. "you should have never told me you had a crush on joshua, by the way."
you rolled your eyes, snuggling in. "noted."
joshua hong
joshua knew how to calm you down when your shyness was getting the better of you. he wordlessly wrapped his own stretchy, bead bracelets around your wrist, and ran his thumb across the beads. you told him once that it helped you for some reason (you'd never figured out the cause), and that had been enough for joshua to always keep at least one bracelet on him. even in a formal event like this. you had made the sacrifice of coming to his work event with him, the lead he could do was ensure you were taken care of.
one of the higher-ups had struck up conversation with you, and joshua knew that it made you far more nervous. you'd answered their questions as best as you could about your own work, your college, your life... and the occasional stammer was enough to give you away to him. joshua knew you were terrified of slipping up, of saying the wrong thing. he'd been the one who spoke for you in several other situations, but he knew what other people would think if he kept doing it. he shouldn't speak for you. or, even worse, that you were rude for not speaking for yourself. he could stand people thinking badly of him, but of you?
he'd silently rolled the bracelet off his own wrist while no one was looking, and pulling it over your own when pretending to inspect your watch. it looked out of place at this formal event, but it was fine. he kept a hold on your hand, thumb running across the beads. for a moment, you looked at joshua, and then gave him the subtlest of smiles before resuming your space.
when he brought it up, you already had an answer. "it's because you're there with me," you told him later that night while sitting outside of a burger place. you'd been stealing his fries, but he didn't care. he was out of that place, and so were you. you could take everything if you wanted. you'd already taken his heart, what else did he have left that wasn't yours already?
"but you know that." he said. his tie was loose around his neck, the top few buttons undone. his jacket had been left in the car he left parked down the street. the two of you needed a real meal after the appetizers (or the 'horse divorce' as you had whispered to him to get him to laugh) were barely enough to feed either of you. "i'm never gonna leave you alone in situations like this."
"i know." you averted your gaze when you said it, ever the bashful one when it came to acknowledging his affections. "i just... i like it when i know you're there. and i like wearing the bracelets you make. it just makes me feel more connected to you, if that's okay."
he leaned over, lips pressing against your cheek. "that's always okay," he said, voice softer. "we're a team. i've got you, alright?"
you smiled again that same sweet smile he'd kiss goodnight forever if you'd let him. "alright." and then you snagged another fry from his meal, eyes flickering up to meet him. "thanks for being on my team, shua."
for you? he'd be anything you needed. teammate, cheerleader, manager... just say the word.
wen junhui
"you forgot them."
jun wasn't afraid to speak up for you. seungkwan had been getting a head count of the group since he'd been the unlucky volunteer to go back inside the vacation home to get drinks, and he paused immediately at jun's casual statement. his gaze flickered over to where you were sitting next to jun, visibly flustered, and everyone else had suddenly shut up.
"huh?"
jun waved it off casually. "you forgot to count them," he said, arm curling around you. "just don't forget to get their drink."
"it's okay," you squeezed his hip gently. "i could have gotten my own drink--"
"seungkwan lost the game, so it's his job," jeonghan called out from his spot on the other side of the fire. he was always so mindful of you and how you got timid when around the full group. "don't be sorry about it."
"seungkwan should be sorry," chan said without missing a beat. "he's the one that forgot them."
mingyu caught seungkwan by the back of his shirt before he could step towards chan, instead pulling him back into his arms with a lighthearted laugh. "i'll help you," he said. "come on. let's get everyone their drinks."
you watched the two wander off, fingers already curling around the edge of jun's shirt. all you had to do was give it the slightest tug to earn his attention. "you didn't have to do that," you said softly.
his brows raised a little. "hm?" he looked toward where the pair had left. "did you want to get your own drink?"
"no, i..." you pursed your lips. how did you say 'i'm used to being forgotten' without it sounding bad? you were typically the quieter one in a group. if you weren't with your close friends, then people seemed to overlook you by accident--just as seungkwan had done. "it's normal for me, that's all."
"it's his job, though," jun said, as casual as he could be about it. "if you wanted to get your own drink, that's fine--but it shouldn't be because he miscounted."
if it wouldn't net him a little teasing, you would kiss him here. even a chaste kiss on the cheek earned teasing with all his friends present. so you just snuggled in, knee pressing against his, and gave him a quick squeeze around the middle. it was subtle enough no one would comment on it.
"thank you, jun," you said softly. "i..." get nervous with large groups. but he already knew that.
even if it earned him a little teasing, he leaned in to press a kiss into your hair. "i've got you," he promised. "don't worry. i'll always remember you."
kwon soonyoung
all of this fucking sucked and there was no place you wanted to be more than home. but you were always a bit of a pushover, always the person who said no to going out, to going to clubs, to doing things in highly busy places when you could barely move... and yet here you were, completely miserable. why did your friends even invite you to places like this now? you'd compromised with them in the past (clubs that were a little less packed than the one you were in, or going to karaoke to drink and sing so they could get loud if they wanted), but it felt like those days were slipping away now. you hugged yourself tight, trying to make yourself smaller as you kept to a side table while they danced their hearts out with strangers. it was too loud and too cramped, and your drinks tasted disgusting, and you'd swallowed your struggles for the past few hours. when was the last time your friends did something you wanted to do...?
then your phone lit up. tap tap?
you responded in kind: tap tap.
be there in ten!
soonyoung had established this system with you forever ago. he'd gone off talking about his experience in martial arts and that tapping out was basically the way to get out of it all. you'd expressed a little confusion over the subject: wasn't the point of martial arts to, you know, to fight? but he'd played with your fingers idly, humming to himself as he considered the way to explain it simplest.
"everyone has different limits," was what he had settled on, looking up to meet your eyes that day. "so if you meet your limit... just text that to me and we can leave. no one has to know what it means."
you gathered your things as silently as you could, just to ensure you still had your belongings at this point. you danced with your friends earlier, only to tap out of that when you wanted another drink. someone had said something raunchy to you, and been kind-of a dick when you tried to innocently mention you had a boyfriend (then why are you even here?). thus you sentenced yourself to the sidelines. out of sight, out of mind, out of trouble.
soonyoung didn't seem to care that he was in his sweats. no doubt he sweet-talked the bouncer into letting him in to find you quickly and leave, because he'd already taken your hand the moment he made his way to you. he guided you out of the place, waved to the guy, and made off with your hand in his.
"i don't like these friends," he said outright once you were far away enough and your hearing was starting to return. your head still felt slightly fuzzy from it all. "why do you let them treat you like this?"
you'd been friends with this group since college. they went out clubbing then, too, but they had never pressured you to go with them then--and they still made an effort to do fun things they liked that you also liked. when did that start changing? you counted back the time. longer than six months ago? a year? what changed--
you looked at soonyoung. oh. that's what changed. soonyoung came into your life and gave you a safe place to be yourself. and around then, that's when your friends had begun making comments about how you were always so 'safe' and too timid for things. pushing boundaries was good, right?
soonyoung took your hands in his. "you shouldn't let them force you into this so often," he said, voice gentle. "i know it's hard for you to say no, but... you look miserable still."
you shook your head. not tonight. please not tonight. and soonyoung nodded in kind, squeezing your hands.
"my housemates are home watching movies," he said. "we can make more popcorn! i washed your spare clothes so you can get all comfy," he beamed at you. "but if you don't want to hang out with them, we can watch something in my room instead. is that better?"
you liked soonyoung's housemates. you shook your head. "can i sit between you and jun?"
he giggled, kissing you gently. "as long as you don't mind him cuddling with you, too."
with soonyoung around... you were more okay with anything.
jeon wonwoo
you had never believed in soulmates before, but if you had to pick one... you were pretty sure wonwoo was it. the two of you had met through a mutual friend (one kim mingyu, who was your loud, loud neighbor at one point--but also the guy who brought over food when you were sick and took care of you when you had no one else to help you), who had turned to you and said he knew someone perfect for you. the two of you met in a bookstore for your date, and the rest was history. wonwoo put you at ease faster than anyone had ever done before, and you were sure that it was because the two of you were alike.
case in point: it was saturday night, and wonwoo was spending it with you. "with" being used loosely: he wasn't talking to you, mostly muttering under his breath to himself, nor were you doing something together. he was curled up on the couch, playing a video game by himself, while you were happily doing a jigsaw puzzle today. saturday was cozy days in this apartment. fridays were when the two of you ventured out. sometimes you went out for dinner, or went to the movies, or went to a mall just to explore for hours. sometimes you were joined by friends, other times it was just the two of you. but that's how things were with you and wonwoo: the weekdays after work could be spend doing whatever the two of you wanted to do. the weekends were for relaxing at home, save for the occasional party (usually birthdays, but you made your fair share of appearances outside of those) the two of you made plans around.
being with wonwoo was easy. his introverted nature seemed to go hand in hand with your shyness. he was okay with speaking for you when you were particularly nervous with people, and he was equally fine holding your hand when you felt okay enough to speak up. he never judged you. being with wonwoo was safe. the most he ever did were the gentle chuckles that sounded from him when he was admiring you, finding tiny bits of your behavior particularly endearing.
"wonwoo?" you called out. he pulled off one set of his headphones, peering back at you for you to continue. "i love you."
his gaze softened. "i love you, too." he didn't turn away yet, though. "are you thinking about something?"
he always seemed to read you easily (you were his favorite book, in his humble opinion). you averted your gaze, already feeling the heat flood into your cheeks. being with wonwoo was easy, yes, but your shyness always seemed to take hold when it came to your feelings past those three words. "i just..." you fiddled with your fingers. "i was thinking about you. and... you're always really kind to me, you know? i don't have to, y'know, worry about messing up with you. i can... i can just be me, timidness and all."
wonwoo just seemed to admire you now, the softest smile on his face. "right... because you accept me as i am. i like this," he gestured a little to the room in general. "we don't have to go out all the time and do things. it's like..." he trailed off for a moment. "you're going to make fun of me."
you waved a hand, "no, no, just say it. i won't, i promise."
"we're cats." he paused when he heard you snort a little in response, but continued. "you've seen them before. some cats just laze around each other, and that's enough because they're spending that time together. we don't have to be doing the same thing... but just knowing we can spend this time together shows me that we love each other." he paused again, waving a hand, "not that i don't love doing things with you! it's just nice to know that we fit together."
"like a puzzle," you said absentmindedly. it earned a soft chuckle from wonwoo in kind.
"yes." he set aside his controller, making his way to you. "like a puzzle." he pulled out the chair across from you. he'd reached out, picking up a piece. "may i?"
"you may," you giggled, watching him carefully put it into place. "wonwoo?" you reached forward, brushing his hair from his eyes. "you're my favorite puzzle piece."
he chuckled warmly, cupping your cheek for a moment. "you're mine, too."
lee jihoon
the relationship you had with jihoon was maybe one of the slower ones anyone had seen. it wasn't for lack of attraction at all--anyone who spoke to you or jihoon knew that the two of you had fallen for each other. but for the longest time, both of you grew flustered when it came to skinship in public. the most either of you could handle was holding hands through busy crowds. the moment one of his friends noticed and called attention to it? you separated. it was why soonyoung, seungcheol, and vernon became jihoon's defense squad: if someone noticed that jihoon was holding your hand or arm or anything... one of the three were there to keep them from commenting on it.
and their jobs were harder now that jihoon had brought you on a trip with them all. he wanted you there, you needed a break from work after saving so much vacation time, and having a group of friends present made things a tad easier and also harder. easier because you didn't have to worry about things being awkward with you and jihoon, and harder because holy fuck, jihoon had a lot of friends. you'd ended up attached to vernon out of all of them. something about the guy's laid back nature put you the most at ease (wonwoo was right next on that list, though).
"hey, um..." you had tugged on his sleeve to get his attention, always so careful of other people's boundaries. "i know what you're doing."
jihoon had looked up from his phone, eyes flickering from you to vernon. "huh?" he paused, voice soft, "has he been bothering you--"
"no! nonono--" you waved a hand. "no. um. jihoon. you brought it up last night."
vernon looked between the two of you. "what?"
"you tell the others to knock it off anytime they see us touch at all," jihoon said outright. he was good at that when you were starting to shy away from things. "it's not a big deal. we're adults."
truth be told, it was usually mingyu who brought it up. but the others gave their fair share of loving teasing toward jihoon when they noticed the way he held tightly onto your hand at times, or the loving way he gazed at you. they always took glee in watching his face turn redder and redder. but you... you had always been a different case. jihoon could handle the teasing: he wouldn't stand it for you, even if he knew it was coming as a symbol of their acceptance toward you. you needed to say if it was alright first, not them.
"i just..." you were getting flustered over it. "i appreciate it. i like you guys a lot, but it gets kinda embarrassing when someone like jeonghan teases us like we're teenagers on a first date."
"they're shy," jihoon ran his thumb along the back of your hand. "not a kid."
vernon looked between the two of you, and something clicked. there was this understanding between the two of you that no one else had quite understood yet. all of them knew how jihoon was when it came to skinship: he didn't want to be treated like a child. and you, with your shyness, could be seen in a similar light. maybe that was why the two of you clicked so well. something about yourselves could be misconstrued and used to speak down to you, and both of you recognized that in each other and respected the other's wishes.
"yeah! yeah, i get it," he nodded. "i'm glad you guys have each other."
you averted your gaze, lips forming a subtle smile. "thanks," you said, voice quieter than before.
the two of you separated from vernon after a little more conversation, and he watched as jihoon flexed his fingers before clutching your hand in his own. and when no one was looking, he leaned in, whispering something into your ear before kissing the skin right in front of it.
the two of you were happy. and that was all that mattered to any of them.
lee seokmin
seokmin knew that, as well as you could mesh into social situations now, there was one thing that made you more nervous than anything. and that was when pictures were being taken.
he had his fair share of candids of you saved in his phone for his eyes only (or, well, his eyes and anyone who caught a glance at his home screen--his lockscreen would always be a picture of the two of you). pictures with or taken by seokmin were in this different realm of 'safe,' according to you. hell, pictures taken by you were safe, too. but he'd seen the way you tried to duck out of pictures constantly, always uncomfortable when they came up in mandatory situations.
so when he saw the wedding photographer's assistant making his rounds to grab pictures of the guests during the reception... his hand tightened a little around yours. he leaned in, lips grazing your ear for a moment, "just stay close to me and i'll block what i can, if you want."
you had been confused at first, only to spot the guy a moment later. you glanced down at yourself, brows drawing together. being a distant face in the wedding video during the ceremony had already been a little nerve-wracking, but photos of you... you looked at seokmin, a deer in the headlights. "i..."
you told him once that you didn't like pictures of yourself because you felt out of place in them. it all came from a lack of confidence that you managed to find when you were in control, or when you were seeing yourself through seokmin's lens. he clutched your hand tight, guiding you away from where you'd been sitting together, watching others dance.
"seokmin, wait," you tugged him to a stop as he guided you toward a side door. "you don't have to. i can go by myself--"
he shook his head. "he got pictures of me when i was dancing with minghao earlier," he said. "we can go outside for a minute, okay? you can't avoid all pictures tonight, but..."
you already knew that: hence why you were avoiding these. you were already tired, clothing a little less neat compared to this morning, and all you could think about was how thankful you were for seokmin. you squeezed his hand. "okay," you said softly. "then... lead the way."
(and if mingyu snapped a picture from a window of the two of you walking outside... then you were okay with it. just this once.)
kim mingyu
if there was one thing you were thankful for, it was that mingyu talked about you constantly. you weren't exactly the most outgoing person, always a little too nervous when it came to people you didn't know... and with a silly, loving boyfriend who also happens to be incredibly handsome, some people were all too eager to flirt wih him. as much as it made you a little insecure (and a lot more jealous, to be honest), you trusted mingyu wholeheartedly. mainly because you'd seen the way he reacted when people started flirting.
"i'm married," was his go-to now. neither of you were married (mingyu said he was fine marrying you as much as he was fine not doing it: he was committed to you, period, and didn't need papers to say that if you didn't want them), but the rings you wore were wedding band-adjacent. you had wanted a pair that looked simpler because your work could dirty your hands sometimes (thus you wanted something easy to clean), and mingyu liked the sleek look of these compared to the others.
sometimes you swore he took a little too much joy out of flashing his "wedding band" at people. he told you once that it was because people always backtrack so hard, it's a little amusing.
except when you were standing right next to him. that was when mingyu pulled you into his arms, giggling like a dummy (your dummy, always) as he showed off his ring. "we're married, actually," he would say. "aren't they cute?" he giggled. "they're still so shy after all this time..."
the person had wandered off, face burning with embarrassment, but seungcheol rolled his eyes from where he was boxing up your chocolates. "for how long?"
mingyu smiled, arms still securely around you. "ah... does the time really matter?" he swayed a little, dragging you along with the motion. "we're together for life. that's all that matters now--"
"you suck at lying." seungcheol smiled a little when that earned a snort from you.
mingyu just hugged you tighter. "someone has to do it!" he nuzzled your head. "and i like doing it. did you see their face when i said we were married? it's cute."
seungcheol rolled his eyes. "so i've heard."
"are you saying they aren't cute?" mingyu's voice became more serious now. would he be pouting if you turned to look at his face? you weren't sure, but with mingyu... you felt like it might be a safe bet. "they're right here. don't be mean to them."
"if i called them cute, then i'd never hear the end of it from you."
something about the way they continued to bicker like brothers finally earned a laugh from you, hands holding securely onto mingyu's arms. it stopped him there, and he immediately dove around you to kiss your cheek.
"see?" mingyu said. "they're cute. shyness and all."
xu minghao
"cute."
you looked up from your book, curled up on one end of your couch. minghao was smiling at you, head propped up by his hand as he leaned against the back of the couch. you knew this smile too well now: something inside that cute head of his had stirred awake and decided now was the time to tease you. you'd seen stoic, serious minghao plenty of times, alongside the wittier, snarky version of your boyfriend you had fallen for after he made one snappy comment back at one of his friends... but playful, silly minghao would always be your favorite flavor of him. except for when 'silly, playful' meant complimenting you. minghao knew compliments were your weakness in life.
"hm?" you sounded, hoping that maybe you heard him wrong. "did you say something."
"you heard me." that same smile greeted you now. "you're cute."
shit. shit. this was already a losing battle as you shrink down against the couch, the hood of your hoodie being dragged up. "hao... don't."
"hm?" he reached out, pushing your book out of the way--just enough that he could see your face. "don't what? tell the truth? you know i think you're cute, why shouldn't i say it?"
"it's embarrassing." you looked away.
"we're the only ones here, my love." your heart rate spiked for a moment: not the 'my love'. he knew what those words did to you. your ears were burning now, and you continued to hide yourself in your hoodie.
"still..." you already knew he had won this, whatever it was. you shoved your bookmark into your book, setting it aside as you continued to hide, tugging at the drawstring from your hood to close it around you. your voice grew higher as you finally confessed, "you're cuter."
"we're not talking about me right now," he had begun to move in. "you're just proving me right, you know. you're cute." he nudged your knees aside as he propped himself up over you.
this man was going to be the death of you.
he tugged the hood away from your face, string coming loose with ease. "see?" he poked the tip of your nose. "cute. it's a fact."
all too easily, you gave in when he wrapped his arms around you, tugging you so that you could be closer to you. he folded himself around you, burying his face in your neck as he breathed out a happy sigh.
"is something up?" you asked quietly. "i mean--i don't, up, i don't mind the sappy stuff. just..."
"i'm fine," he pecked your neck, nose grazing against the underside of your jaw. "just needed to love you louder today." he paused, raising his gaze to meet yours as he leaned around you. "is that okay?"
with a sigh, you settled into his arms. "yeah," you mumbled. "always okay. thank you for asking."
boo seungkwan
this was mortifying. what if you died right here? would that be better than witnessing this? chan had an arm around you while vernon was trying to pull seungkwan back. you just wanted one nice night with your boyfriend and his friends, and now seungkwan was very loudly arguing with someone who had said something not-so-nice about you relying on him so much. you were fine when it was just the four of you, but seungkwan knew you. he knew you struggled with being heard: hence why he reiterated your request on your behalf.
"they're my partner and i'm not going to let you speak about them like that!" he balled his fists. "just because they won't complain doesn't mean you can insult them to their face!"
"seungkwan," vernon pulled his arm harder. "dude. we're gonna get kicked out."
"fine!" he said, looking back at vernon. "i don't care! he was rude to them and made fun of them--they don't get to insult anyone i love like that!"
"seungkwan," you called out, finally getting his attention. you shook your head. "it's okay. let's just go."
he stole one last glance at the asshole he'd been yelling at, before taking a breath. seungkwan pulled away from vernon, making his way over to you as he took your hand. the four of you left, heading back outside as seungkwan immediately rounded to face you once you were far enough away from the place. he waved for the other two to go on--he just needed to speak to you alone. seungkwan took your hands, squeezing them gently.
"are you okay? did i ruin our night?" he frowned, pausing as he tugged at your sleeve to fix it back into place. "i would have let it go if he didn't make fun of you."
"it's okay," you said. "i'm sorry you always have to do this for me."
he blinked. "hm?" he looked back. "that place was busy. vernon didn't hear you, so i made sure your request got across." he paused, realization hitting him. "not that it matters now..."
"you guys can go back without me," you said, pulling your hands free. "i'm gonna go home."
"but--" he stepped forward. "you don't have to. we can go somewhere else." he paused for a moment. "i'm sorry i started yelling at him. i..." he took a deep breath. "i love you, and i don't care that you get shy or nervous or whatever you want to call it. i'm happy to talk for both of us if that's what you need me to do." he paused. "do you really want to go home?"
you nodded. "a little."
"then i'll go with you," he took your hand. "we'll come back out another night."
you squeezed his hand. "seungkwan?" you interlaced your fingers with his. "thanks for having my back."
"thank you for having mine," he pecked your cheek. "i'll always be here."
chwe vernon
the moment you turned the corner, vernon immediately straightened up, all signs of 'illness' seeming to disappear entirely. it made you slow to a stop, hand leaving his as you stare at him. was... was that why he was so insistent on not taking a cab home? he'd said the night air might help if you walked a little, but...
"alright. where to?" he turned, phone already in hand. "there's that dessert place you like. wait, did you eat? we could grab something else instead--"
"i thought you were sick." you sounded dumbfounded, and vernon blinked.
"you wanted to get out of there." a true fact, but you hadn't said it to vernon yet. "oh, dude. you get this look on your face." he made his way over to you. "like... you looked miserable. so i figured i'd take one for the team and pretend i'm sick so you wouldn't have to come up with an excuse again."
your cats could only get sick so many times without people wondering if something was wrong with them, after all.
you frowned. "you didn't have to do that."
"i kinda did." he took your hands. "like... i saw the look on your face. the 'please stop asking me about work, and my relationship, and my life, i'm going to pass out' face. remember that work thing you took me to? you did that face there, too."
maybe you loved this man more than anything.
"so... where do you wanna go? we could go back to my place. i've got popcorn, we could steal seungcheol's netflix account again, watch something dumb."
it earned a giggle from you. "he knows, right?"
"you haven't seen the new profile he made last week." he pulled you back with him, letting you follow his steps, "named it freeloaders. we're not the only ones using it, y'know."
you giggled again. between vernon, mingyu, and wonwoo... you weren't surprised seungcheol knew the netflix account was getting used by more than just him. they shared accounts, after all. he was using vernon's disney plus account often enough, mainly to get to hulu.
"just say the word if you ever want me to make up something, by the way," he squeezed your hand. "i know you get bad with people sometimes. let me handle it, alright?"
at least you had vernon in your life to make it all easer.
lee chan
chan chuckled. "it's okay," he said as he felt you bury your face in his neck. "i don't think he'll think anything of it."
chan was beyond used to seeing you flustered over the silliest little things. while he replayed his own slip-ups later on, you wore your emotions plain on your face after finishing a phone call with your close friend (and the guy who introduced you to chan), seungcheol. you'd slipped up and said an innocent 'love you!' to him, something chan always saw coming considering you'd long-since confessed that he felt like family to you. he saw the regret on your face for saying it so casually to a friend when it took you forever to say it to chan, and now he was fighting back the urge to laugh as you whined.
"he's never gonna let me live it down."
chan patted your back gently, chuckling a little now. seungcheol definitely wouldn't let it go--at least not to chan. "you're close friends! friends can say they love each other."
"i know, but..." you squeezed your eyes shut. "it's embarrassing. he didn't even say anything back and--and you know how cheol is."
that he did. chan heard your phone chime, and reached for it to steal a quick look... only to see seungcheol had texted you back: CALL ME BACK >:(
"baby?" he held up your phone, waving it in front of your face. "he's waiting."
"nooooooo," you whined again. "he's gonna make fun of me."
your phone began to ring. chan didn't hesitate to answer it, putting seungcheol on speaker. "they're dying, cheol."
"they didn't let me say it back!"
you buried your face further into chan's neck. of course seungcheol took it in stride--and of course his real problem was that you didn't give him the chance to say it back. chan let out a snort, hand curling around the back of your head as he gave it a quick pat.
"you're killing them still. you know how they get with affection."
you knew seungcheol was rolling his eyes with that annoyed sigh he let out. "they're like family. i wasn't going to be mad until they hung up on me before i could say it."
the affection truly was killing you. chan had seen you bury your face in his neck before, always too embarrassed to just accept the sweet words of anyone--especially himself. he called you one night to drunkenly ramble about his affections for you, and immediately apologized when you broke your favorite mug while you were mentally malfunctioning. even now, he felt the way you grabbed at his shirt, face burning hot with embarrassment. this was the reason why he could never arrange a surprise party for you: you might pass out if so many people broadcast their love for you at once.
"so?" seungcheol said, and you could hear someone laughing in the background. mingyu for sure, and someone else. "ignore them."
"love you, cheol," you mumbled. "sorry i hung up earlier."
your apology was met with a warm chuckle. "it's okay. let me know when you're coming over for dinner again," he said, and then paused for a second, "bring your boyfriend, too."
chan gasped in mock offense, as though he hadn't been sitting there the entire time. he hung up the call, and immediately wrapped his arms around you. "you love me more, right?" he teased, just to see that cute pout on your face. he'll kiss it soon, too.
you averted your gaze, face burning hot now. first cheol, now chan? "you know i do."
"say it." he poked your side, just to watch you squirm. "or else."
you could feel the way his fingers were starting to tickle your sides. "chan!"
all too easily, he'd made you forget about your nervous blunder as he dove forward to kiss you amidst your giggles. "say it!"
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lyjen · 1 month
Text
Lifeline
Summary: Everything in (Y/n)’s life seems to be great, until her abusive ex-boyfriend turns up at her home and threatens to hurt Evan. To protect her closest friend, she starts to distance herself from him. Evan notices (y/n) is distancing herself from him, and confronts her. But when the bomb of her ex-boyfriend bursts, she crawls back to Evan.
A request by: Anonymous - the request
9-1-1 Masterlist
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______
“Let me do this cap! I can get to her.” (Y/n) spoke up as they started making a plan to rescue one last victim out of her apartment. A woman was stuck inside of her apartment. The building was being evacuated because the building was too fragile and unsafe.
“Hell no.” Evan shook his head wildly as he heard his best friend’s voice. His head shot at her, looking her in the eyes as if she was a crazy person. But it was literally her job to rescue people, if she wouldn’t do it, Evan would do it himself.
But (Y/n) wouldn’t let Evan have all the fun tasks. “(y/n), you’re not going in there on your own.” Evan spoke before Bobby could even think of an answer. She just stared at Evan who was telling her not to go in, but it wasn’t his call. He wasn’t the captain.
It was Bobby’s call to make. So she looked at her captain. “Buck, go with (y/n). She’s gonna need you on the pulley. (Y/n) You’re going to do that rope rescue. Let’s go!”
As soon as Evan and (y/n) reached the roof of the adjacent building, they had to make a jump across to the apartment building which was on fire. They stopped on the edge of the building. A sigh left (y/n)’s mouth, while Evan just grinned. He knew she was stubborn and sometimes didn’t think things through, and this was one of those moments.
Their eyes connect for a small second, making (y/n)’s stomach turn. They toss their equipment to the other side and Evan makes a running start and jumps to the other building with (y/n) on his heels.
His gloved hand touches her shoulder, which sends a shiver down her spine and fills her stomach with some kind of electricity. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Evan asked her one more time. “Well it’s too late to back out now, right?” She said as she secured herself to the rope and clicked the helmet strap into its place. “Let’s do this” she said as she started bracing herself to go down on the side of the building.
Evan secured himself to one of the metal railings on the roof of the building, as he let the rope slide through his hands.
He didn’t like this at all. The thought of his best friend dangling on the side of a building, which was currently being evacuated and was ready to collapse within minutes. Anxiety streamed through Evan’s veins.
(Y/n) rippled down the side of the building as she reached the right apartment window of the woman. She was in the window, waving for help, letting her know what apartment she was in. “Get down and get back!” (y/n) spoke as hard as she could, making gestures with her hand to let the woman know to stand back.
(Y/n) clapped the plastic cover of her helmet in front of her eyes and pushed her body with her legs as hard as she could, so she could gain enough momentum to bash through the window of the woman.
Her body breaks the glass of the apartment building and she falls down with her back on the ground, in the middle of the living room of the woman's apartment.
“Los Angeles Fire Department” she groaned as she got back up from the ground, standing on her two feet again. (Y/n) looks around for the woman, when she spots her, the victim gets off the ground and lets (y/n) secure her in the harness.
(Y/n) backed up towards the window with the woman secured to her harness. “Okay Buck, I got her! Coming back out now!” she talked into her radio. “Copy that, fire’s getting a little close up here. We need to double time this!” (Y/n) stepped out the window frame and let her weight get caught by the rope Evan was still assisting on the roof of the building.
A loud bang sounds through the air, “This roof is gonna go any second!” Evan spoke through his radio. “(Y/n) you have got to lower yourself down the rest of the way. Buck, secure that rope and get the hell off of that building!” Bobby ordered.
Evan secured the rope to the building, “Line’s all yours (Y/n)!”
“Alright! I got it! See you down there!” (Y/n) radioed back as she took over the rope into her hand, so she could ripple herself down to safety.
She tried to go as fast as she could, but when another bang roared through the streets of LA, glass started raining down onto (y/n) and the victim. The victim was hanging with her head into the crook of (y/n)’s neck, not wanting to see the height she was on right now.
For not even a second she stopped, as she could hear the sound of fire burning through material. She looks up at the rope, and sees the flame burning through the rope material, as smooth as butter. Anxiety roared through her veins when she looked down, the airbag was still being filled with air. She knew filling the airbag would take seconds, but at this moment… she didn’t know if she had that much time. The line was gonna split in two, any second. She took one more look at the rope above her, and closed her eyes making one more last prayer.
The rope abruptly split in two, her body was taken by gravity. She fell down multiple levels, with the victim still secured to her harness. She squeezed her eyes closed and pressed her lips into a thin line as she tried to suppress a scream. Her stomach turned, as adrenaline streamed through her blood.
Her back made contact with the airbag, as she felt the victim's body landed with half of her body onto the firefighter. When (y/n) opened her eyes, she was facing the dark night sky. (Y/n) unclipped the harness from the woman, so her team could help her. “Watch your head” Bobby spoke as he helped the woman up to her feet. (Y/n) shuffled on her butt towards the side of the airbag.
A pair of hands were being held out to her, waiting for her to accept them. She sighed as she was trying to calm down from the rush she was still feeling. (Y/n) looked up and her eyes connected with Evan, who was holding out his hands. “You always know how to make an entrance” he smiled.
“You have no idea” she whispered under her breath as she gladly accepted his hands, and was pulled onto her feet again. Evan reeled her into a hug and smiled “Still don’t like that you ignored my opinion about going up there.”
______
(Y/n) rushed into the locker room, she was late. For the first time in years, she was actually late for her shift.
She yanked open her locker and zipped her duffle bag open. She took off her shirt and let it slide into her bag. “I thought you weren’t the person to be late for shift” a voice spoke through the room. (Y/n) flinched at the voice, she thought she was the only one in here. She quickly took a glance over her shoulder as she saw a familiar shape.
“Wow, you okay?” Evan asked concerned, he could sense she was upset. (Y/n) grabbed the clothing hanger with her shirt on it. “Yeah, you just caught me by surprise, that’s all.” She could feel how Evan was moving closer. She hung the hanger back into her locker and unbuttoned the shirt.
Evan let his shoulder lean against the lockers, as his eyes remained on his colleague. His eyes scanned her body, until his eyes wandered along her arm. Bruises were spread all across her arm, with the worst ones visible on her upper arm.
“How did you get those?” he pointed at her arm. (Y/n) put her arms through the holes and pulled the long sleeve shirt over her shoulders so she could button up her shirt. She took a quick look at what Evan was pointing at. “Oh that.. that’s what you get if you fall ten levels down, and the victim squeezes your arm like it’s a stressbal” she brushed it off.
She wanted to get off the subject as fast as possible. The victim didn’t hold on to her arm like it was her lifeline, the victim had her arms slung around her neck. It was the reason she was late, which caused those bruises.
*
(Y/n) threw her duffle bag over her shoulder, grabbed her car keys from the dining table and opened her front door.
Her eyes met a pair of familiar ones when the door was flung open. The pair of eyes she never wanted to see again. It was her ex-boyfriend Joel, right in front of her. She flinched at the sudden shape on her doorstep.
She wasn’t expecting someone to be on her doorstep, and it sure wasn’t like she was expecting him.
“Hey” his low voice sounded through her eardrums. “What are you doing here?” (y/n) immediately shot back at him. She didn’t want him here, or anywhere near her at all. He was an entire red flag walking. But yet, she had fallen for him. Months ago.
“Can’t I just-” before Joel could finish his sentence, she cut him off. “I don’t have time for this. I’m late for work. I have to go-“ she wanted to push past him. But his hand landed firmly on her upper arm.
She was going to be late for shift if she continued talking to him. And she was never late, and whatever Joel had to say wasn’t probably that important. He was always talking shit, and manipulating people.
Joel’s fingertips buried themselves into her skin, a soft yelp fell off her lips when she felt his touch. His grip was getting stronger, and stronger. “You’re hurting me, let go.”
“Good. Maybe it will feel a little like the pain I had, months ago when I woke up one morning and you were gone.” He hissed into her ear. She could feel his warm breath spreading around her ear. She tried to pull herself out of his grip, but he would pull her back stronger.
Months ago, she left her toxic relationship with Joel. She ran from him, and started her new life here in Los Angeles.
“I saw you on the news the other day. That was quite a call, wasn’t it?” he smirked, as he reached with one hand into his pocket to fish out his phone.
“You were pretty close to one of your firefighter friends..” Joel shows her a clip of the news. They had recorded and broadcasted the fragment of Evan helping (y/n) up and hugging her.
“Is this your new boyfriend?” He asks as he tries to look into her eyes to make contact, and slips his phone back into his pocket.
Evan was just a co-worker, and a good friend. Yes, they get along well together. Maybe even too well. And she loved hanging around with him. But they weren’t in a relationship.
“That’s none of your business” she shot back as she tried once again to pull out of his grip, and that was the last straw. He pushed her back into the doorframe with one hand still on her arm, and his other arm now resting firmly against her throat. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
How did he find her? Why was he here again? She tried so hard to get rid of this man and yet here he was again in front of her nose.
“Listen carefully.” Joel started. “You are not going to tell anybody about me. Not even your neighbor or some stranger you met on the street.” he continued. “Otherwise, your firefighter boyfriend will soon be in between six wooden boards in the ground. You got that?”
(Y/n) squeezed her eyes closed as a tear rolled down her cheek, and nodded like her life depended on it.
*
It seemed logical to Evan, there was so much happening that night that he didn’t remember the full details to it. So yes, the victim could have squeezed her arm too hard. He wouldn’t remember if the victim actually had her arms around her neck, or if she was holding on to her like she was her lifeline.
“Hey, I was thinking.. you want to-“ Before Evan could finish his sentence, his words got cut short by (y/n)’s voice. "Buck. Please. Just leave me alone.” she sighed, she sounded on the edge of breaking.
She was scared for her life, for his life. Normally (Y/n) would tell Evan everything that happened in her life. But she had to actually keep this to herself. To prevent herself from blurting out anything to Evan, and to protect him, she would have to distance herself from him. Even though it hurt like hell.
Evan’s face turned into a confused look. They were always together. Evan loved being around (y/n) and she never told him off. Even if she had a bad day, he was the only one in the firehouse who was able to talk to her. As if he was some kind of special whisperer.
“Uhm, okay? I’ll see you in a bit then.” Evan spoke, still confused and struck by surprise. She would never tell Evan to go away. He always wanted her around and she always wanted him around.
______
Blood rushed to the spot where Joel had just hit her on the cheek. They were in the middle of a heated argument.
Tears were streaming down her face, she tried so hard to suppress the tears. (Y/n) squeezed her eyes closed, trying to make the guilty feeling she felt stop. Although she didn’t do anything wrong. He made her feel like she did.
(Y/n) wanted to walk away from the conversation, but then Joel grabbed her hand aggressively and pulled her back. Just when Joel had enough oxygen to yell at her again, the doorbell rings. “Go get that fucking door.” Joel hissed mad into her ear.
Saved by the bell, literally.
Now she had to pretend like nothing was going on, like she didn’t just receive a smack to the face or the bruises that he left on her arms.
(Y/n) nodded quietly at his order and started walking to the front door. As she made her way towards the door, she quickly tried to wipe the tears away from underneath her eyes with the back of her hand.
How was she actually going to pretend like she didn’t cry for the last ten minutes? They were red, puffy and probably made her look like some kind of panda bear because of the mascara that ran out. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down a little and to clear her airways.
She pushed down the lever of the front door, and opened the door so only her head could pop between the doorframe and the door. Whoever was at the door, didn’t have to see what happened in the room.
Her eyes met with those familiar blue eyes she longed to see for a while. “Hey..” Evan spoke as he held his hands in his pockets.
“What are you doing here?” she asked him as quietly as she could. Her hand landed on the side of the door, holding it into its place. “Well you forgot your -” Evan stopped talking as he realized those big, red, puffy eyes. “Wait, have you been crying?”
”Yeah, just.. a bad day.” she answered simply. His eyes scanned her, well whatever was visible of her. “What happened to your hand?” he pointed at her hand.
She looked at her hand and quickly put it behind the door, so he couldn’t ask anymore questions about it. “Oh, I just bumped my hand into the corner of a cabinet.” Evan furrowed one brow. “Since when do cabinets leave such bruises?”
She brushes it off, and tries to switch the subject. “You said you got something for me?”
She wanted to tell Evan so badly that her ex was back in town. That he had found her. But she couldn’t tell him. Joel would go after everyone she loved. And he knew she had a weakness for Evan.
“Oh yeah, you forgot this when you left.” Evan says as he reaches into his pocket and fishes out (y/n)’s phone, and holds it up as if it was some kind of prize she could win. After a second, he gives the phone back to her.
(y/n) quickly glances over her shoulder, and turns back to Evan. She was on edge, stressed. It was almost like there was someone who was holding a gun at her head. Evan could sense something in the air was different, maybe that something was actually wrong. “Are you okay?”
(Y/n) could feel Joel’s eyes burning into the back of her head, and coming closer. She has to cut off the conversation.
She squeezed her eyes closed and pressed her lips into a thin line. “I really have to go.” and without even a “bye”, or a “thank you” she closed the door, just a second before Joel could yank open the door and talk to her co-worker.
(Y/n) didn’t like the way she was starting to push him away. But she had to. For their safety.
______
(Y/n) stepped onto the last step from the stair and entered the kitchen of the firehouse. She can feel people staring at her, their eyes were burning into her skin. But she ignored them.
She grabbed a mug from the upper cabinet and walked towards the coffee pot. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down on the armrest of the sofa, joining Eddie, Chimney and Evan.
“Are you cold?” Chimney asked as she took a sip from her coffee. She shrugged her shoulders, she really didn’t want to answer his question. But (y/n) knew they wouldn’t drop the subject. “It’s eighty five degrees outside, and you’re wearing a long sleeve?” Evan spoke as he looked up at her.
“Guys, I just forgot to wash my short sleeves, that’s all.” Honestly, they didn’t need to know. She couldn’t tell the real reason why she was wearing it. “Well you can just-“ but before Evan could end his sentence, she sighed and stood up from the armrest she was chilling on. Leaving her coffee on the table, and left the loft again. She didn’t want the opinions of her colleagues.
(Y/n) was overthinking every single thing which made her head pound. So she went to the locker room, to find some painkillers to make it go away. She opened her locker and started to dig through her locker, which was kind of a mess. Just like her life right now, but she could clean up her locker. She couldn’t exactly do that with her life.
Reaching her arm all the way to the back of the locker, it almost looked like she wanted to climb into that locker. “We need to talk” Evan’s voice sounded through the locker room. (Y/n) flinched, hitting her head to the side of the metal locker. “Fuck” She pulled her head and arm out of the locker. The one person she didn’t want to see or speak to, wanted to talk with her.
“Evan. I actually don’t-“ She never called him Evan, it was always Buck. “It wasn’t a question (y/n).” Evan’s voice sounded low, dark and desperate. She placed her hands on the side of the lockers and sighed. She didn’t even look at him.
“Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” Evan was looking at her side profile, with one hand resting on his belt. “Because if I did.. you know you can just talk to me, right?” Evan continued.
He wanted her to know that he’d always be there for her. She could tell him everything, even the worst things and he would listen.
“No..” she whispered under her breath, barely audible. She closed her eyes, as her face was still facing the inside of her locker. She saw this coming, she knew that one day he would confront her with the fact that she was avoiding her.
“I can’t.” she spoke, and let her hands slide off the side of the lockers. She shut her locker with a bang. (Y/n) had to walk away now. She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want to lose her friend.
(Y/n) turns away from him “No no no! You’re not walking away from me right now. This is what you have been doing for weeks!” Evan spoke up as he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. “Evan. Please.” she pulled her wrist out of the grip from Evan.
It was almost like she was there in her house again, when Joel pulled her back. But she wasn’t. She was in a safe place right now.
“You’ve been acting so weird the last couple of weeks. And I’m sick and tired of you just walking away from me.” Evan’s voice sounded like a mix of worries and anger.
“Clearly you have been keeping secrets, and that’s alright! Of course you can have secrets, but I’m so tired of being pushed away by my friend.” His voice became louder by the sentence. “It's almost like I’m talking to a ghost. I don’t recognize you anymore!”
Evan tried to make eye contact with (Y/n), but she kept staring at her feet. It was almost like she felt guilty for existing.
“Well if you don’t recognize me anymore, maybe you never knew me at all.” She yelled back at him. As she shrugged her shoulders.
Those words took Evan by surprise. He never thought his friend would say that.
“Go away Evan.” She says with a calm tone, as she makes eye contact with her friend. Evan nodded. “It was nice to talk to you.” His voice is full of sarcasm. And he storms out of the locker room.
Thanks to Joel, she wouldn’t have any family or friends left in this firehouse.
______
(Y/n)’s breathing was breathing heavily. She could hear her own heartbeat pounding through her ears. Her cheeks were sticky from all the tears that had rolled all over her cheeks. Her back was pressed against the wall, while her knees were pressed against her chest.
Joel’s voice was still sounding through the room. But none of those words came through. Her vision became blurry by the tears which were welling up in her eyes. She could still see Joel pointing at her and screaming words. But then, he opened the front door and stormed outside, and he yanked the door shut behind him.
(Y/n) had gotten into a fight with Joel, again. He stormed into her house, blaming her that she had told someone about him and what he had done. Of course she told him that she had kept her mouth shut. But Joel didn’t believe her, and that’s when he hit her again, and again. Until where she was now, down on the ground. All alone.
She pushed herself onto her feet, while her hand pressed down on her abdomen, trying to ease the pain. A little yelp fell from her lips, as she felt a shocking pain through her leg.
(Y/n) stumbled over to her phone which was lying somewhere in the corner of the kitchen on the floor. She slowly grabbed her phone off the floor and tapped the screen, hoping for the best. Hoping that somehow, the phone would still work.
“Shit!” She cursed at herself when the phone didn’t react to her actions. She needed help. Right now. Otherwise she would lose herself completely. “Okay.” She tries to calm herself down.
The only thing she could think of right now was Evan. His apartment was not too far away from her. He basically lived two streets from (y/n) and he wasn’t on shift at the moment. That’ll have to do. But would Evan let her in? After all the times she told him to back off? She didn’t have a choice. All she could do was hope for the best and hope that Evan would listen to her story.
In a lot of pain, she grabs her keys and stumbles outside.
When she arrived at the apartment building, (Y/n) grabbed her keys and searched for Evan’s building key. Evan had given her a spare key, so if something would happen to him, she could just enter the building and his apartment.
She found the correct key, opened the door and stumbled towards the elevator.
When she reached the correct level, she stumbled towards Evan’s apartment. There were probably people who thought she may be a damn’ zombie.
She panted when she stood in front of Evan’s door. Her hand hovering over the doorbell. Overthinking her decision. Was this actually a good idea? What if she went through all of this pain, just to have Evan push a door into her face, just like she did with him?
Here goes nothing.
Her hand pressed the doorbell, she tried to keep her balance by leaning her hand against the doorframe.
Evan stood up from his couch as he heard the doorbell ringing through the house. What idiot was at his door at this time at night? It was a few minutes before midnight, Evan should be asleep right now. But his sleeping schedule was pretty much all over the place. He would work double shifts, then he would be working twelve hour shifts, but Evan did what he loved. And if that would mean that he’d live with a fucked up sleeping sheldue, he would be okay with that.
Evan yawned as he made his way towards the door. He placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door. His eyes met with (Y/n)’s, he quickly scanned her face. Her lip was bleeding and her short sleeved t-shirt couldn’t hide the bruises which were spread all across her arms.
“What the hell? (Y/n) what happened?” Evan’s face was flabbergasted, he knew there was something wrong. But he didn’t expect it to be this bad.
(Y/n)’s mouth opened to answer, but before she could even make a sound, her knees caved in and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Her body was now in the hands of gravity, but before her body could meet the ground Evan caught her upper body.
With his arms underneath her armpits he dragged her body inside. He slowly let her slide onto the ground and shut his front door with a kick from his leg. He didn’t want any lookie-loos, that was the last thing he wanted.
Evan let his arm slide underneath her shoulders so he was holding her up. He let his right hand pat against her face, trying to get her back. “Hey! Hey! (Y/n)!” he spoke, it was kind of a loud whisper.
She groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, “There we go” Evan said as he saw his friend open her eyes. As soon as she made contact with Evan, she started crying. “I'm sorry” she sobbed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” she continued.
Evan shook his head, “Let’s sit you down.” he said as he helped her onto her feet. He slung her arm over his shoulder, so she could lean on him and he helped her towards the dining table.
With his free hand he pulled the chair from underneath the table and sat (Y/n) down on the chair. “Wait here” he said as he ran up the stairs towards his bathroom.
When he came down he had a first aid kit in his hands, and he pushed one of his chairs so it was now in front of (Y/n).
He grabbed an alcohol pad and started to clean her wounds. They were silent for a second. “So.. what happened?” he asked as his eyes remained focussed on her wounds. "I lied when I told you I was okay.” she whispered. “I figured as much, when you decided to collapse at my front door.” he said as he continued cleaning the wounds.
“My abusive ex is back. He found me..” she cried as she tried to wipe away her tears with the hand Evan wasn’t holding. Evan’s eyes wandered back at hers
Evan missed the signs with his sister. But how did this happen again but this time with his colleague, his friend, who was right there in front of his nose the entire time. He should’ve known.
“H-He threatened to hurt you if I told anyone that he was back. So.. ” she sobbed through her words. “So that’s why you distanced yourself from me.” Evan finished her sentence, (Y/n) nodded. “I just didn’t want you to get hurt, I needed to protect you.” she confessed.
Evan could sense the amount of stress and how scared she was. “Hey, I am okay, see? I’m right here.” He grabbed her hand and placed it on his left chest. (Y/n) could feel Evan’s heart beat in the palm of her hands.
“I’ve got you, okay? He’s not going to hurt you anymore.” His hand was placed behind her ear as his thumb reassuringly rubbed up and down over her cheek, trying to give her some comfort.
“I never meant any of those things I said back in that locker room. You know me better than anyone else, maybe even better than I know myself. But I had to keep distance, to protect you from him. Because I care so much about you. Maybe even more than I should” she spoke. Evan has got a small smile spread across his face. He pressed his forehead against hers, as he continued rubbing his thumb over her cheek.
(Y/n)’s hand traced over his chest, onto the back of his head and tangled between his blonde curls.
Their noses were almost touching; there was barely an inch of space between them. She could feel Evan’s breath tickling her skin. “I’ve missed you.” he whispered and he pressed his lips against hers.
Right now.. Evan was her lifeline, and she needed to hold on to him as strongly as she could.
657 notes · View notes
darknesseddiem · 3 months
Text
Do I Make You Nervous?
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Request: "How about Eddie and Y/n are like owing to have sex but Eddie has a hard time getting hard?"
Warnings: +18 MDNI, angst with comfort, mentions of erectile dysfunction, Eddie being mean to Reader, talking about anxiety, smut, unprotected p in v, oral (m receiving), aftercare.
Word Count: 9k
Tagging who must be interested: @tlclick73 @mykuup @ali-r3n @starksbabie @spideydreams00 @alanamarie @oatmilk-vampire @rose1518 @hereforsmutbcicantgetenough @iheartgrayson @stephanie-nicks76 @corrodedcoffincumslut @livsters @ami01x @skrzydlak @yujyujj @thehuntresswolf @hxlly678 @torimcc @skyline4446 @choke-me-eddie @samz31 @birdysaturne @spenciesprincess @prestinalove @whatwedontdointheshadows @hookandchain @nobodycanknoww @rogueinmymind @jenniquinn
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His face burned with deep shame, his white skin tinged with scarlet red painting his cheeks and ears, fading into a soft shade of pink on his neck. He wished he could shrink himself to the smallest size possible to hide from the burning gaze of the beautiful woman in his bed, instead, Eddie decided to focus his gaze on an Anthrax poster on the other side of his messy room, and for the first time, he paid attention to the details that the figure of the Statue of Liberty making horns with it's hand and holding a book with a pentagram on the cover had.
“Eddie…” Your sweet and attentive voice made him even more nervous than he already was, he could feel the droplets of sweat accumulating in his hairline and his breathing becoming short and labored.
“Can you look at me? Please?" 'No', he thought in his racing mind, but his body did the opposite of what he wanted.
Humiliation pressed against his eyes and tried to show itself through tears he fought to contain.
With his heart rate similar to that of a marathon runner, he slowly turned his flushed face towards you until his teary eyes met yours and, God, it was the worst thing he decided to do that night.
You looked at him with such pity that he was sure that at some point that hard shell he kept to protect himself would be broken into little pieces with the intensity of your gaze and the feeling he conveyed.
He didn't want your pity, he didn't need it, he had already been through enough humiliation that day.
Overcome with frustration and embarrassed by the event, he did the last thing he wanted, he took it out on you.
"I-"
"No." The rude tone he used made you shrink in your place when you noticed how he looked at you.
You opened your mouth again but no sentence or words came out, intimidated by the enraged look, your eyes looked away from his and stared at your bare legs.
“I think you should go.” Your chest tightened at his sharp, emotionless voice.
"But-"
“Are you fucking stupid?” He knew he was being irrational at that moment but he would rather hurt you verbally than let his wounded ego and crushed pride show. “I don’t want you here, get out.”
The look in your eyes was enough to make him regret what he had said, but it was already too late to take back his words.
Overwhelmed by the feelings that your sad and desolate eyes caused, Eddie abruptly got up from the bed and wrapped himself in the sheet in an attempt to cover his shame, failing. Without looking back, he awkwardly crossed the room without paying attention to you and opened the door, disappearing into the hallway.
Sitting on his bed, you could finally let the tears flow, he had been so mean, but even so, you still couldn't help but understand him.
Eddie had this confident energy about him, a debauched smile and immaculate bad boy attitude, consequently it was a bucket of cold water when amidst the hot kisses and desperate touches on your naked bodies he realized that nothing had happened down there.
Shaking your head to clear the thoughts, you picked up your clothes thrown on the floor and quickly started to put them on so you could get out of there as quickly as possible.
Eddie was a good guy, fun and caring towards you, but at that moment he was insensitive and irrational, so the best thing to do was to leave and try to talk when things calm down.
Although the words and the tone used to say them still caused pain, you didn't blame him for reacting like that, you would do the same if you were in his place.
Dressed and with your dignity forgotten, you went after yet another humiliation.
Leaving the room and heading towards the bathroom, you slowly stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath before speaking one last time.
“Eds, I… I'm already going, when you want to talk again, you know where to find me.” Silence was your only response.
Sighing, you turned towards the living room and finally left the trailer, sooner than you had anticipated.
In the bathroom of his trailer, Eddie faced his own demons.
Leaning on the white porcelain sink, the boy stared at his disheveled reflection in the mirror: slightly reddish eyes, hair messy and damp from the sweat and water he had thrown on his face to clear his thoughts, a complete mess.
In the confines of the blue and green tiled walls he was finally able to peel off that confident and self-assured persona he showed to everyone and welcome the insecure boy he hid under lock and key.
That same little boy who spent sleepless nights with the insecurity of what tomorrow would bring for him, who thought so low of himself and had no idea how to be like other nice guys, so he pretended and tried to deceive himself when deep down he knew he would never heal his wounded inner child.
What happened today was just the culmination of his journey of humiliation.
It could be anything with anyone, but not you, not with you.
So many years spent just watching from afar as your silly childhood crush grew even more, and just when he had managed to prove himself worthy of your attention, his body decides to betray him in the most treacherous way possible.
His desire for you was undeniable, as strong as liquid lava that coursed through his veins and burned all of his senses, and like the pepper that burned in his tender flesh, he burned with desire for you, his soul burned in ecstasy to intertwine up with yours and make them one single flesh.
Now that the raging fog in his mind had lifted, he saw how stupid he had been to the one person he was completely sure would understand him better than anyone and even himself, but had allowed himself to be carried away by the bonds that his ghosts held from the past and ruined the only thing he was proud of having accomplished by being himself.
Not the Eddie who pretends, or the confident one, or the debauchee, nothing like that, but the insecure Eddie full of fears who one day thought he would never see the light of sun again.
Of all the moments that could happen, why now? Why?
His pride and ego were deeply hurt that night, he felt helpless.
This had never happened, even in his moments of pleasure alone he didn't need much to get horny or have an erection, just a glimpse of anything from you was enough to get him going for hours straight.
Eddie had no idea how he would face you again after the fiasco that was tonight, the night you were supposed to spend entwined with each other just letting your wildest instincts take over your naked and fervent bodies.
Putting an end to his torment, at least for now, he straightened up and walked away from the sink, walking towards the door and heading towards his empty room.
Your delicious perfume invaded his nostrils as he crossed the door frame and his eyes involuntarily closed and rolled to the back of his head in delight, if he concentrated a little he could still remember the exact smell that your sweaty neck exuded: citrus and slightly floral with a salty and warm touch.
Walking slowly to the disheveled bed, he followed the path the two of you, lost in pleasure, took earlier.
Starting with the desk, where Eddie sat you down and your tongues danced fiercely against each other, fighting a battle that neither of you intended to lose.
His hands roamed your body, yearning to map every curve and every piece of soft skin he could reach, tracing his fingertips softly under your blouse and watching you shiver with lust as you tangled your fingers in his wavy dark hair, pulling him closer as if you wanted him to devour you in that instant.
Hurrying to get to the bed, the two of you walked awkwardly without letting go and you ended up pressed against the wall with one of his hands full of rings around your neck, his teeth nibbled your swollen lips and slid sensually to your jaw where he traced figures with his warm and experienced tongue. His left hand rested inside your panties, cruelly teasing your clit with his thumb and index finger while his middle and ring finger slid into your wet, warm hole giving you enough to squirm in pleasure but not to cum until he wanted you to.
And finally, the last destination, the bed.
He moved and knelt on the mattress, remembering how he had grabbed you by the waist and thrown you there, seeing your face contort into the most beautiful expression of lust he had ever seen.
His fingers still tingled from the feeling of your soft, swollen lips enveloping them in the wet heat of your sinful, ungodly mouth, the taste and smell of your arousal had been tattooed on his mouth and nose, altering the entire chemistry of his weak brain.
The roots of his locks were still throbbing from the aggressive encounter of your nervous fingers and his scalp of the moment he allowed himself the eroticism of his first taste of your sinful and seductive pussy, almost as if it hypnotized him with the earthy and luscious flavor that dripped and flowed like the honey of the gods.
His eyes closed and your naked image was tattooed inside his eyelids, just as your moans played on replay in his ear from the moment the first sound left your mouth.
He laid down on the bed and shook his head against his pillow but stopped abruptly when he realized one small thing.
Eddie looked down and let out an incredulous snort.
“Oh, now do you want to do your work?” He looked at his dick with disdain. “Great news: she’s not here, champ.” He ran a hand over his face and exhaled in frustration.
The sound of vibration caught his attention, making him raise his head and take his cell phone from under one of the pillows, it was a message from you.
His heart beat faster and he swallowed hard, he wasn't going to lie, he was scared as hell by whatever you sent him.
With a trembling thumb he clicked on the messaging app icon and saw your contact appear pinned at the top with the text highlighted and the number “2” next to it.
Closing his eyes and breathing heavily he pressed into your contact, and after a few seconds that seemed like hours, he opened them again and breathed a sigh of relief.
lightfury 🤍: hi, I don't know when you'll see this, but I wanted to let you know that I'm already home
lightfury 🤍: I hope we can talk later, I don't want things between us to be like this. good night, eds
With a relieved sigh, he let go of his cell phone and let his arms fall to his sides, smiling at the ceiling of his room. You really were a badass woman.
Pondering for a few seconds, he took the device in his hands again and went straight to the search app.
“Why can’t I get hard?”
He looked through the countless search results until he found the one that most resembled his case.
‘Powerful erection, buy it and receive it in two business days.’ What the fuck? No.
‘Age crisis? SexBull pills are the solution.’ No, absolutely not.
‘Erectile dysfunction, understand the causes and how to treat it.’ Oh God, please don’t be that.
He clicked on the last option and started reading the article.
“Erectile dysfunction, also known as impotence, is defined by difficulty getting and keeping an erection. It can be an embarrassing thing to talk about. It's been reported that more than half of men between the ages of 40 and 70 experience some form of ED.”
His eyes widened as soon as they passed the section where the most susceptible ages were indicated.
What the hell? Eddie was only 25. Could it get any worse?
Oh yeah, it could...
“Various risk factors can contribute to erectile dysfunction, including:
• Tobacco use, which restricts blood flow to veins and arteries, can — over time — cause chronic health conditions that lead to erectile dysfunction;
• Drug and alcohol use, especially if you're a long-term drug user or heavy drinker.”
Oh yes, he was completely fucked if he were to take these two factors into consideration, as he smoked so much that he could be compared to a walking chimney, and his body was almost at the point of producing alcohol on its own accord.
But his concern soon disappeared when he read the rest of the article.
“The brain plays a key role in triggering the series of physical events that cause an erection, starting with feelings of sexual excitement. A number of things can interfere with sexual feelings and cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. These include:
Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions;
Stress;
Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns;
Anxiety.”
Anxiety…
This last topic caught the boy's attention because it was exactly what he felt when he was around you, not that it was caused by your person, but rather by his dangerous mind.
All that euphoria of wanting to please you and insecurity that he wouldn't be good enough had created a black cloud above his head that rained liquid worry straight to his brain and caused a breakdown in his nervous system due to the pressure he felt, which led to his failed performance today.
He turned off his cell phone screen and lay on his side with his eyes closed, thinking about what a complete jerk he had been to you and how he would explain the whole situation without sounding even more ridiculous.
But that would be for tomorrow, with a quick movement he raised his left arm and slammed the palm of his hand against the light switch, leaving the room in complete darkness and silence as he fell into a deep sleep.
A few kilometers away, you were already lying in bed and ready to sleep, a few seconds away from turning off the light when you heard the notification sound of a new message.
Normally you would let it go and go to sleep, but the name that appeared on the screen caught your attention and you picked up the device and unlocked it, clicking on the messaging app icon.
nightfury 🖤: hey
nightfury 🖤: I'm sorry if I was an asshole today
nightfury 🖤: can we talk tomorrow? I don't want to lose you because of my stupidity
night fury: night baby
Upon reading the content of the messages, you smiled widely until your cheeks hurt, and with your heart filled with tenderness and joy you finally allowed yourself to lie down and sleep.
Tomorrow would be a new day, and hopefully, a much better day.
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47 minutes and 15 seconds, that was how long Eddie had spent in front of the mirror rehearsing his monologue, and he was not at all satisfied with what came out of his mouth.
Nervousness had turned him into a pathetic chattering mess and he couldn't stop himself from spewing nonsense words in the middle of sentences.
Walking back and forth across the room, the young man decided that it would be better to stop that stupidity and act like an adult, he would go to your work and talk normally without all this ridiculous rehearsal.
Be yourself, Munson. He spoke in his mind whilst taking a deep breath.
“Okay, that’s it, I’m ready.” His hands ran through his wavy hair and he bit his bottom lip anxiously.
“I’m not fucking ready for this.” He grumbled as he furtively watched from across the street where he could see you at the register through the large glass window.
Robin and Steve were nowhere to be seen, which was easier because he certainly didn't want to deal with those two loudmouths today.
Eddie thought about standing there until you noticed him staring at you like a maniac, and then calling the police so he wouldn't have to go through the second humiliation of explaining himself. Ha, good idea Edward.
The boy shook his head, making his hair messier and putting his hand on his face, exhaling in exasperation. Do you have a fucking problem?
“Okay, it’s now or never Eddie…” People on the street looked at him strangely as they watched him talk to himself. “You can do it, just get there and act cool, easy, you got this.” And repeating this about a hundred more times in his mind, he took courage and walked towards Family Video, which was now Family Books.
The sound of the bell ringing echoed throughout the empty store, making you look up ready to greet the customer who had arrived.
A smile formed on your mouth when you noticed Eddie standing in front of the cashier counter, playing with the rings on his fingers.
“Hi..” Your voice broke him out of the trance he was in. "Can I help you with something?" Eddie looked at you with slightly widened eyes.
“Um, can we… Can we talk? Both of us? In particular?" He wanted to slap himself for the way he was stuttering the words.
"Of course! I just need to call Robin or Steve,” Your eyes scanned the store for your two noisy friends. “I can’t leave the register without anyone here.”
“No problem,” Eddie said shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “Take your time, I’m not in a hurry.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You smiled before disappearing down the hall.
You practically ran through the bookshelves looking for those two, and no sign of them.
"What a hell?" You stood in the hallway talking to yourself. “Where were those two-” The shrill noises of laughter reached your ear, revealing the location of the two lazy people you called friends.
You marched furiously to the storage room while thinking of millions of curses to throw at them, opening the door with a quick movement letting it slam against the wall, scaring the both of you, you began to complain.
“What do you two think you’re doing here?” Robin and Steve looked at you scared from where they were sitting, laughing about something on Robin's phone. “Did you forget that you also have to work?”
“We were…Uh, the books… The books needed to be scanned? Yes, the books needed to be scanned into the system!” Steve was slurring his words trying to explain himself, while Robin just looked elsewhere as if she wasn't to blame for anything.
“Oh really?” You asked and they both nodded. “Then where are the books and the scanner? I don’t see either one.”
The two remained silent, staring at you, wishing that a stack of books would magically appear in front of them.
"Hey, did you hear that?" Robin began.
“Yes, I think I heard some customer calling us.” The brunette agreed with the blonde girl and they both got up from the couch, hurriedly passing you who was still standing in the doorway.
“What the-” Snorting you rolled your eyes. "Forget it." You mumbled.
Turning to go back to the front of the store and tell Eddie that he could come now, you came face to face with the boy a few feet away, which made you let out a scared yelp.
“Jesus…” You placed your hand on your chest. “You scared the hell out of me.”
He smirked and approached you.
“Sorry, I thought you saw me follow you.” Eddie was looking at you with such intensity that you had to look away.
“Yeah, no, no problem,” You let out a nervous laugh. “Come in, here we can talk privately.” He entered the storage room as you stepped aside and gestured with your hand.
The two of you sat on the brown leather couch and stared at each other.
“So…” “I…” You let out a laugh as you spoke at the same time.
"You first." You said smiling shyly.
“Okay,” The metalhead took a deep breath before starting to speak. “Firstly I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you yesterday, I was rude and mean to you when you didn’t deserve it.” His brown eyes remained fixed on yours the entire time. “And secondly, I wanted to explain myself about-” You cut him off before he could say anything else.
“No, no, it’s okay. Seriously, I understand why you reacted the way you did and I don’t blame you for it.” Your body moved closer to him and your hands took his in yours affectionately. “You don’t need to explain yourself about anything, Eds.” The boy felt his heart beat faster and his eyes burn with tears forming in his waterline. “What happened yesterday could have happened to anyone, including me, and I'm sorry if at any point I made you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, I swear that wasn't my intention. You are the most precious boy to me and I truly apologize if you felt this way because of me.”
Eddie had been left speechless.
His mouth was dry and his heart was pounding like it was going to jump out of his chest. He was so moved by the things you said that he barely noticed when tears started to run down his beautiful pale face.
“Oh no, no, please don't cry,” Worry was written in capital letters all over your face. “I-I didn’t say anything in a bad way, please-” Your chatter was interrupted by the warm smile he directed at you.
“You…” He said shaking his head in disbelief. “You have no idea what your words mean to me.” The curly-haired boy felt his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “All my life I've been told I wasn't enough and judged for who I am, I was so insecure about myself that the only way I could find it was to mask who I was, so I created this confident shell that didn't care about the rest of the world, so that maybe one day I could be accepted by someone…” Now you were the one crying silently at his speech.
“And after all these years thinking that I would live with fragments of my true self, you came and knocked me off my feet,” He smiled through his tears and brought one of his hands to your face, caressing it affectionately.
“It scared the hell out of me the way I lost all my composure around you, I felt scared because that boy who was so hurt in the past always tried to be present around you, all the time he wanted to show himself but I suppressed him as much as I could, afraid that I would lose you because of my ghosts. It was a new feeling for me, you know? You brought me comfort and kindness, and it made me want to run, 'cause I was so used to living in pain and being hurt that it became my comfort to feel this all the time, and the idea of being… Truly loved for who I am, made me have so much fear." His eyes widened in realization after the last sentence.
Eddie lived for so long feeling pain and finding comfort in it, that he was afraid of being loved and cared for by someone, believing that he was not worthy of such feelings.
“Eddie…” You looked deeply into his eyes before continuing, and in that moment you didn't see 'Eddie Munson, the Satanist leader of a cult who didn't care about the opinion of any living soul' but 'Eddie Munson, the scared and fragile boy who was so hurt by people who once pretended to love him, the insecure young boy who believed he would never be good enough to be loved by anyone'. “You are more than enough, you are not broken and less worthy of someone’s love, do you hear me?” Despite the serious tone of your voice, it still carried a whirlwind of emotions. "Nobody! No one has the right to say whether or not you deserve to be loved, because you do deserve to be happy in any and every way, Eddie. And this little boy inside you?” You asked with teary, red eyes and he nodded. “Let him out, let me get to know him, let me take care of him and show him how loved he is. Let him be free this time, because this time I will take care of you two, I will show you how much love I have to give you.”
The two of you looked at each other as if there was no one else in the world, just two souls destined to find each other and become just one, a single soul that carried with it the fragments of the past so that in the future they would remind them of the arduous path they had taken until they found home at each other's hearts.
Eddie was the first to close the distance between you, being followed by you immediately.
Your lips touched, causing an explosion of feelings in your hearts and pure passion to run like thick honey through your veins, filling each wound and healing the cuts that seemed to not want to heal.
His hands were like warm silk that slid easily across your skin, taking place at the base of your neck as he possessively cupped your cheek and claimed your mouth for himself with his warm, sensual tongue, caressing every corner and edge of your cavity.
You gave in equally to the kiss and holding his wet face, you let all the feelings flow as you lost yourself in the taste of love that was in each other's mouths.
Passion. Euphoria. Reassurance. And love, so much love.
He deepened the kiss even more and sighed intensely, sliding one of his arms around your waist and holding you as if you were going to disappear at any moment.
Your hands found the base of his neck and you intertwined your fingers in his long locks, bringing him to you.
But it still wasn't enough, your bodies screamed for each other and your minds clouded with the desire to feel the raw and pure nature that emanated from your pores and dripped from your centers.
You broke the kiss and lightly ripped off the leather jacket he was wearing, placing your mouth on his again and running your hands up his arms in a frantic manner. You wanted to feel him in his entirety, his body, his essence and his soul.
Eddie was no different, his mind screamed your name incessantly and his body cried out hotly to possess your flesh and infiltrate you, draining your arousal until there was no drop left.
With a quick movement he laid you down and was on top of you, stopping only to take off his shirt and throw it somewhere in the storage room.
“God, tasting you is like having a taste of the nectar of the gods, I can’t get enough.” He admired you and smiled, placing his lips on your neck and jaw.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head with his mouth trailing kisses and licking your sensitive spots. “God, Eddie.” Your body was on fire and his attention only intensified that.
“Wait, wait…” You managed to mumble breathlessly.
“Did I hurt you? We can stop if-” You silenced him by putting a finger on his mouth. “Shhh, lay down. Now.” Something in his gaze changed and you could swear you heard him whimper softly.
Eddie lay down on the couch and you stood up watching him, his Adam's apple bobbed and he swallowed hard seeing your look. You were like a seductive panther looking at him as if he was your prey and you were waiting for the right moment to enjoy the meal. Him.
“I’m going to make you feel so good…” Draping one of your legs over him you sat on top of his crotch. “And I will show you who owns this body.” With that said, you attacked his mouth with yours, this time the kiss was fierce, full of bites and sinfully whispered moans.
He filled his hand and squeezed your ass tightly, drawing a breathy sigh from you, while the other moved up to your breast and pinched your nipple through the fabric of your blouse and bra.
You ran your lips and trailed a path of wet kisses to his jaw, going straight to his earlobe and nibbling, feeling him stiffen beneath you. That's the spot, you thought.
“You love teasing me, don’t you? Always trying to make me surrender first…” He asked as he placed his feet firmly on the floor and held your waist, pressing down and rubbing your pussy with his rock-hard cock. “You’re going to need more than that, sweetheart…” He held your head, pushing you against his sensitive spot and sighed with lust.
"Me?" Pretending to be innocent, you began to kiss hotly down to his pale pink nipples and, God, they were pierced. “And what have we here?” You ran your tongue gently, seeing him shiver and smile, biting his lip. “Oh… They’re sensitive, aren’t they?” With your thumb and forefinger you began to squeeze and roll them between your fingers.
“Oh God, please.” He panted and arched his back bringing his chest to you. “They're still too sensitive…” He let go of your waist and unbuttoned the buttons on your beige uniform shirt, taking it off and throwing it in some corner. “I need to feel you or I’ll go crazy.” He pulled the clasp of your bra in one agile movement and ripped it from your body with violence. “What did you do to me, woman?” His hands grabbed both of your breasts and squeezed with voracious force, eliciting a muffled moan from you.
“I just put you in your place, big boy.” You sat up straight and took your time admiring him, his disheveled look, his alabaster chest full of tattoos and his hard nipples, his slender waist and his happy trail that led to the treasure you selfishly wanted to enjoy. “The other women never knew how to deal with you, isn’t that right?” He looked at you with his eyes half closed and mouth hanging open and nodded. “Hmmm…” You began to roll your hips into his crotch and brought your hands to his that were resting on top of your breasts and pressed them even harder, throwing your head back with the pleasure that electrified your body as your clitoris started being stimulated with friction. “They never knew how you become such a good boy when someone commands you, right my pet?”
“Hmmm fuck yeah, I'm such a good boy for you... No one can have me like you do, my love…” He was slowly losing the last bit of sanity he had left, you were like a drug and he was the addict in abstinence and would use you until he couldn't take it anymore and dropped dead.
“That’s it, baby, you poor thing… You just needed someone to tame you like you deserve, right?” Mocking his fucked up state you laughed mischievously. “Shhh, don’t worry, I’m going to fuck you so good you’ll beg me not to stop…” Sliding off his lap and kneeling between his legs covered in ripped black jeans, you began to play with the hem of his pants, teasing him.
“Jesus…” He panted and ran a hand through his untamed curls. “Please don't fuck with me this time” Whispering quietly and looking at his dick he bit his lower lip so hard that he was sure he would draw blood. “Are you nervous, big boy?” Your seductive voice penetrated his ears like the song of a siren who was about to take him to the bottom of the ocean and drown him in the dark waters of pleasure. “Yeah-” he cleared his throat. “Do I make you nervous?” Your hand slowly crackling down his pelvis and caressing his thighs was enough to short-circuit his poor, lust-ridden brain, allowing him to only nod pathetically.
Sliding one hand up his inner thigh and giving it an experimental squeeze as your left trailed its way to the hard bulge in his pants, you saw his face contort in pleasure and he let out a shuddering breath. “Hmm, I can make you relax… But I don’t know if you deserve it, you know?” Teasing him for fun just to see the desperate look on his beautiful face that was sin incarnate.
“W-What? No I-I” his plea was interrupted by your mocking tone of voice. “Ah, ah, ah… You've been such a bad boy recently,” The smile on your face widened even more when you noticed how wide his eyes were, dilated pupils swallowing any trace of the chocolate that painted his iris, giving way to the black that emanated the lust that his body failed to contain. “Bad boys don’t deserve good things, my pet.”
Shaking his head like a maniac, his hoarse and sly voice pleaded. “N-no, I was… I was a good boy, please! Please touch me… Fuck, please touch me.” He didn't care how pathetic he sounded now, his mind was completely clouded. You you you. It was all he could focus on, your fresh citrus smell that invaded his nostrils and made him want to stick his nose in your neck, your ethereal and unique taste that stuck to his tongue and permeated his taste buds, your curves that fit so perfectly in his hands and your body that reacted so deliciously to him.
“I don’t know… You still haven’t convinced me that you deserve it.” You looked at him intensely and he swallowed hard when he noticed the strange gleam in your eyes. “Beg… Beg me to touch you, Eddie.” You waited with a small smile. “Please? Please touch me?” He spoke quietly, his face turning pink. “You can do better than that, pet…” He huffed and looked to the side with a pout. “Okay, since you don't want to ask nicely,” Leaning on his knees, you stood up and stood. “I’ll come back-” “No, wait wait!” He quickly dropped to his knees at your feet and circled his arms around your waist and hips, looking at you with puppy dog eyes that would make you commit atrocities if he used them against you. “Please…” He began, “Please touch me, I’m begging you.” He rubbed one of his cheeks on your bare stomach and began trailing kisses down to the hem of your jeans. “Let me feel you… Please, I’ll do anything.” He held your waist with such strength that you would definitely have had his finger marks the other day - not that you cared at the moment, too focused on the way he begged for your touch.
“Stand up,” You ordered and he promptly obeyed, rushing forward, almost losing his balance. “Take your pants and shoes off, now.” His hands flew to the button on his pants, undoing it and then unzipping his black jeans, bending down to untie the knots on the black combat boots he wore and discarding them somewhere nearby. You saw the hesitation in his eyes as he bit his lip and commanded again. "You are deaf? Strip. The pants. Now." Your hard, dominating voice made him tremble and shiver with desire.
He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and removed the item of clothing, revealing the white Calvin Klein boxers he was wearing. Your eyes migrated to his crotch and your mouth watered as you noticed the size of the bulge that stretched the fabric almost to its limit, a small wet spot could be seen where his pink tip rested and could be seen due to the transparency of the damp fabric.
“You know, I don’t think it’s fair that I’m the only one taking off my clothes, don’t you?” His voice dropped a few octaves and reverberated through your body, his eyes practically burning each and every piece of clothing you wore. “And who said I care what you think?” You slid a finger down his tattooed chest, stopping before your hand came down on his erection. “But I suppose you’re right…” Withdrawing your finger and walking away, you saw him exhale in frustration and the corners of your mouth turned up in a wicked little smile.
You took off your sneakers and socks, taking your hand to your denim shorts and unbuttoning and unzipping them quickly, making a show for the brunette standing in front of you. He licked his lips hungrily at every bit of skin that was exposed in the process, his eyes making you feel like a furnace inside.
The two of you were now standing face to face in just your underwear, Eddie couldn't take his eyes off your body, he was looking at you so intensely that your knees went weak when you took a step forward.
“Why don’t you get comfortable on the couch and let me take care of you, huh?” You placed both hands on his chest and pushed him until he sat on the furniture, taking a place between his open legs and kneeling again.
“I’m gonna' make you feel so good, Eddie…” You rubbed your hand over his crotch, avoiding his cock only to see him twitch. “I don’t- fuck- I don’t doubt that, sweetheart, but please-” His babbling was cut off by the feeling of your small hand stroking the base of his dick so lightly that he was barely sure you were touching him. "What? Please, what-” Your fingers collided with something even harder.
His eyes glittered with a wild glow and you narrowed your eyes and looked down to where your hand rested.
Eddie smirked and bit his lower lip when he noticed your surprised face. “What’s wrong, sweetie? See anything you like?” He was making fun of you and you could tell.
Moving your hand, you spoke again, “A piercing… Munson, Munson, you’re a box full of surprises…” Your index fingers hooked into the waistband of his underwear. “Do you have any more surprises for me, Eddie?” Your playful question was answered as soon as you removed the last piece of clothing from him and his cock emerged free in all its glory: big and thick, probably a good nine inches, with a prominent vein on the underside, curved slightly to the right and, the cherry on top, his gray metal piercing decorating the drooling, reddish tip.
His eyes were boring into your face, trying to catch your reactions.
Your eyes widened slightly and your mouth parted, forming a slight “o”, while one of your hands crept up to his erect dick and caressed the long shaft.
“Oh yes, this is a big surprise…” Your hand moved up and down. “Now be a good boy and keep still while I suck your cock.” His face contorted into an expression of pleasure and his mouth fell open in a whimper. “Damn, woman, you're going to be the death of me…” He laughed and shook his head in disbelief.
His eyes were boring into your face, trying to catch your reactions.
Your eyes widened slightly and your mouth parted, forming a slight “o”, while one of your hands crept up to his erect dick and caressed the long shaft.
“Oh yes, this is a big surprise…” Your hand moved up and down. “Now be a good boy and keep still while I suck your cock.” His face contorted into an expression of pleasure and his mouth fell open in a whimper. “Damn, woman, you're going to be the death of me…” He laughed and shook his head in disbelief.
You drooled, wetting your lips, before you took it in your hand and dipped your head.
You took him in your mouth easily, sucking on the tip while your tongue slid over the sensitive head that leaked the milky fluid. Eddie whined loudly, his hands moving to hold through your hair, tangling his calloused fingers through your soft hair. Your mouth, velvety warm, sucking him down gently while driving him crazy.
Eddie exhaled languidly, eyes fluttering down to watch you through thick lashes.
You look up at him, jacking him slowly and still sucking his red swollen tip, Eddie nodded at you gently, a bow down towards you that was your go-ahead signal.
"Just like that, honey..." His face writhed in the purest expression of lust, shutting his eyes for a moment.
 He could feel his tip hitting the back of your throat and your skilled tongue caressing his shaft, and still willing to take him further into your tight throat. "Goddamit, baby, this sinful mouth of yours… F-fuck that feels so good.."
"So good, you’re so good to me baby." Eddie rasped, voice drowned out at the empty storage room where the two of you vulgarly expressed your most carnal and sinful desires.
You gave him your best ‘fuck me’ eyes, moving to cup his balls while your head bobbed up and down his cock. 
His eyes trailed down to you, seeing you looking at him while almost sucking his soul out of his body,it was too much for his poor brain to handle. Eddie closed his eyes again and let out a symphony of moans and whimpers to the feeling of your warm wet mouth.
Your hand cupped his balls, squeezing lightly, pulling back to suction on his heavy sac and moving your hand down his shaft, deeply inhaling the musky scent of his manhood. 
Eddie could feel his own abs clenching with every slow drag of your mouth licking the soft skin of his balls and making them jump and squeeze at your expert movements.
"Holy fucking shit." Eddie gritted, tightening his grip in your hair. "You take me so good, isn’t that right baby? Gos, such a fucking slut for my dick, huh? Bet you soaking through these panties ." 
You hum in response, vibrations from your throat tickling and sending shockwaves through his sac. 
He wasn't going to last long with jerking him and fondling his ball like that, you were too good at this. Too good at making him a total and pathetic mess.
You knew he was so close, his toes were curling, his breath becoming erratic and his grip on your head getting tighter each time, the coil in his lower belly pulling closer and closer until it snapped, spilling hot spurts of his seed onto your flattened tongue while he threw his head back and groaned loudly. 
He milked himself into your mouth, finger hooking to catch a dribbled spurt on the side of your lips before he pressed them in your mouth. .
You swallowed him in one big gulp, opening your mouth open to show him, seeing the way his eyes became darker. 
 “Fuck,” he panted and ate you with his eyes. “I have to be inside you in the next five seconds or I’m gonna’ get fucking crazy, ‘cause you're killing me here, baby.” Desperation and lust were written across his eyes.
You smiled, still kneeling between his legs, and bit your lip seductively with half lidded eyes.
“Oh yeah? You're that desperate to feel my pussy around your cock, huh?” You stood up and looked down at him through your eyelashes, seeing him nod dumbly.
"I'm being such a good boy for you, don't you think I deserve this..." Nothing could prepare you for the word that would come out of his mouth in the next moment. "...Mommy?"
You choked on your own spit.
Jesus Christ, that simple word leaving his mouth was able to light an intense flame inside you, that licked your center and melted into a slick that soaked your panties and ran down your thigh.
You stood there, opening and closing your mouth like a fish in water, completely speechless.
Eddie watched you with a shit-eating grin as if to say "I won."
His expression faltered as he noticed your hard gaze and sinister smile at him, you saw his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed dry and cleared his throat.
“Yeah...you really are a box full of surprises, Eddie, and it's going to be so fun to play with you..." You hooked your thumbs into your wet panties and dragged them down your legs, letting them fall to the floor and kicking it to some corner of the room.
His eyes were now fixed on your smooth, glistening pussy, you felt a surge of pride and self-confidence as you noticed his cock kicking in interest.
Eddie was sure that at this point he was shamelessly drooling at the sight of you naked in front of him, your body must surely be the representation of Satan and his sin as how provocative and ungodly it was.
"Shit..." With the way you were looking at him, like you wanted to eat him alive, he probably wouldn't get out of there in one piece.
You grinned at him and leaned over, putting a leg over him and sitting on his hairy thighs.
Your eyes skimmed over the pretty boy below you, his fucked out face, he never looked so beautiful.
Your eyes wandered his slender torso and followed the delicious happy trail that led to the thatch of dark curls framing his gorgeous dick..
“Ready for me sweetheart?” He asked with an air of smugness and tucked his hands behind his head, but you could see that he was controlling himself not to jump on your bones. "The real question here is, are you ready for me, Eds?” You trailed your hand from his stomach to his tattooed chest, fingers ghosting over his nipples drawing a shaky breath from him. "So...so ready, princess, please..." His glazed eyes were heavy, you hummed, but remained silent as his hands hovered over your thighs before shakily running through your hips and waist.
Still grinning at him, you reached between your bodies to give his cock a few steady strokes. He pulsed in your palm and it sent a surge of need through your lower belly. 
Adjusting yourself and sitting upright, you moved until you were sitting on top of his rock hard cock, giving your hips an experimental rock and shivering as you grind against his cock slowly, the fiction on your clit sending waves of arousal coursing through your veins. 
“Go ahead baby, take what you want.” Eddie closes his eyes, fighting his inner demons to not to cum with just that, his hips thrusting into you into its own accord. "Sit still or I'll stop." You warned and Eddie's hips stilled before reluctantly settling against the couch. "How badly do you want to cum, baby?" You asked, slowly rocking your hips before sitting back down on his lap. You set a lazy pace, making sure each glide of your wet cunt was slower than the last. “Christ, mommy-” Eddie whimpering, his hips thrusting weakly against yours. 
He didn't see it coming, he just felt the burning sensation and the impact of your hand on the left side of his face. “Dont. Fucking. Move.” You hold a tight grip on his throat. “Answer me, you pathetic slut.” 
"Fuck," he panted as his back arched off, "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to–" Another slap delivered across his cheek, the skin blossoming a pretty shade of pale pink-reddish. "Fuck! I want it so bad, I want to cum so bad, Mommy!" Lustful tears were forming on his waterline and threatening to spill over his hot cheeks. “Hmm, that’s a good boy…” Your lips kissed his red cheek with tenderness. 
"Who-who thought that you were into that shit..." Eddie's voice has a rasp to it. “Might be a lot about me you don't know, Munson.”
Your fingertips dug into his chest as you steadied yourself with one hand and grabbed his cock with the other, and ever so slowly sank down on his generous length. Mingling moans and whimpers paired with the sounds of his grunts filled the small space of the storage room, you shuddered as he stretched you inch by glorious inch and let out a content sigh when you were fully seated on his lap, his balls pressed against your ass.
“Oh my god, Eddie…” He had one hell of a view, and it had him entranced. Your jaw was slack as you gasped and panted from how deep he was, and your head was thrown back with pleasure. He gave you a moment to adjust before both of his hands found purchase on your ass and he started fucking into you like a wild animal. "Hoooly fucking shit, you're so fucking- Oh God!” he whimpered. “Yes… Oh fuck, right there!” Your hands held onto his arms that were circling your waist while his thick cock pumped in and out of you. 
“Eddie!” You cried, your pussy clamping down around his dick as your thighs snapped closed on his narrow waist. “Oh my fucking god! Ohhhh-” The boy laughed breathlessly seeing you lose your mind over how good he was fucking you. "Yeah Mommy? Where's all that atittude, huh? Got so dumb on my cock that you can't even answer me?" He met you for a sloppy kiss, both of you too far gone to care about the clumsiness. "You... Dick." He moaned into your mouth as you clenched around him, hands flying to your face as he bucked into you.
“Close, I'm- baby I’m so close,” you whined against his lips. 
The white burning coil in your core grew to reach its snapping point with every brush of his dark curls against your clit.
“Yeah, you gonna cum for me?" His sweaty forehead pressed to your own while his almost black irises looked deep into your soul. “Fuck, that's it Mommy, I wanna feel you cumming all over my cock.” His hand left your waist to snake down, his thumb rubbed tight circles to your clit, helping that tight band snap inside you. “Oh fuck!” You cried out loud as you came, not caring if Robin or Steve would hear. Your hips continued to roll, a clumsy attempt at keeping up with his thrusts and his thumb that still rubbed your bundle of nerves. 
“Feels so… fuck, your pussy…” He babbled, unable to form a coherent sentence. “Hmm… you’re just so… tight and warm.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck and let every one of his senses be entirely consumed by you. 
He's loud when he comes, whimpering loudly, full body weak with it. You feel his cock pulse and kick inside of you, deep painting your insides white. 
"Thank you, Mommy..." He's mumbling against your skin, kissing the side of your neck softly as he comes down. "God, you're so perfect." 
The mixing of his cum and your arousal is now coating your inner thighs, and dripping onto his balls and crotch. “Jesus fuck—” He slip his now soft cock out of your cunt, seeing the white fluid dripping of your insides.
Both of his arms wrapped protectively around you and his nose nuzzled against your temple as he whispered how good you were for him.
Eddie pressed your cheek to the crown of your head and drew soothing patterns across your warm, sweaty skin. “Do you think they heard us?” You broke the comfortable silence. "For sure." He laughed softly and you widened your eyes, slapping his chest. "Eddie!" "What? You asked and I just answered." You rolled your eyes and stood up, getting off his lap. "Wait, wait!" He held your waist and sat you down on the couch, heading towards the black shirt he had thrown on the floor a few minutes before. "Gotta clean up my girl." He went to the water machine in the corner of the room and wetted the fabric, returning to where you were and gently rubbing it against your skin.
You both got dressed in silence and looked at each other.
“So…” “Yeah…” You looked at the wall as if there was something interesting there as he rocked back on his heels with his hands in his leather jacket pockets. "Um..." He began. "What do you think about... I don't know, going to the movies today? I saw there's a really cool movie in the theater and- and it would be cool if we went together." You smiled, biting your lip. "Really? What's the movie?" The boy smiled too and was sincere. "I don't know, but with you anything is cool." Your heart melted at his sweet words.
"Pick me up at seven?" You opened the door, stepping outside so he could get out too. "Seven, great, very good." He wanted to beat himself for being so nervous, for God’s sake just a few minutes ago he was balls deep in you.
"Okay! I'll see you at seven then." You smiled and walked towards the front of the bookstore, coming face to face with Steve and Robin whispering, who soon stopped as soon as they saw you and Eddie.
Eddie said goodbye to you and left the store, waving his hand and smiling once again as he mouthed 'see you at seven'.
You turned to your friends who had a mischievous smile on their faces and walked back to your spot behind the counter.
"So..." Robin said. "Mommy, huh?" Bursting into laughter with Steve.
"Fuck off, you two." You mumbled, face burning with embarrassment.
You could say that those two gave you hell for a long time after that day.
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everlastlady · 3 months
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Husk Boyfriend Headcanons.
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✦- Author's Note: I'm still trying to upload 400 Hazbin Hotel Icons on Pinterest. And those 400 Icons are just from episode one of Hazbin Hotel and Pinterest has an upload limit so I hit that upload limit for the second time today, so until I can upload the rest of the icons, I decided to post the Husk boyfriend hcs. Husk is my favorite character from the show; it's an absolute delight that David Keith is voicing him since David Keith was important in my childhood and he's my favorite voice actor, so him voicing Husk makes me love the character even more. Also update! I have medicine for anxiety and medicine for sleeping finally, so I'll be adjusting my schedule, I'm sorry that I didn't update Bloody Legend but I will soon, I promise my little roses. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡
✦- Important: Reader is gender neutral, Protective Husk, Husk can sometimes be an ass, Reader is a singer at the hotel, & Just Cuteness.
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✸- Husk was a loving and caring boyfriend. But sometimes he can be an ass from time to time. But at the end of the day you know that your fluffy boyfriend can be a sweetheart. He loves it when you sit at the bar while he's drinking or serving drinks. He'll listen to you talk about your day or songs that you have been writing. When he's talking about his day or people that pissed him off, you'll listen. The bar is likely where you two are mostly seen when it's not your rooms or the streets of Hell. Husk isn't afraid to tell other guests to fuck off if they come up and try to flirt with you. And you aren't scared to do the same if people try to hit on Husk or disrespect him if he refuses to serve them another drink.
✸- When it comes to laying in bed, Husk doesn't mind being the big or little spoon. But he very much prefers being the big spoon. He likes it when you run your fingers through his fur or use his fluffy chest as a pillow. It's hard for him not to let out little purrs because of how you play or stroke your fingers through his fur. He'll rub gentle circles on your back or hips. He'll watch a nice movie or show with you. Maybe even rock you to sleep, he'll whisper sweet nothings into your ear and tell you how much you mean to him. He'll place kisses along your face and cover you up a bit when you finally fall asleep, don't worry he's not going anywhere because he'll fall asleep next to you.
✹- You're both losers! You and Husk both know that you are losers. You both need through painful things when alive and when in Hell. Maybe you are both still dealing with painful things but you both know that at the end of the day. You have each other and can yourselves around one another. That nothing will stop you both from living through the shit streets of Hell. To never be scared to express oneself or speak your mind.
✹- You find it fascinating that Husk was once an Overlord. You ask him so many questions and he'll happily answer all of them. When you ask him if he ever had a chance to go back to being an Overlord would he? And his answer is always no because he isn't sure if the happiness he had as an Overlord was truly real happiness. He doesn't want to be an Overlord but he also doesn't want to be on Alastor's leash. But you promised to find a way to free him from Alastor one day.
✸- Husk favorite thing to do with you is taking you on a romantic dinner then having a night stroll in the park. Hand in hand the two of you will walk and Husk will sing a song to you. He'll pick a flower and had it to you. Tell you how grateful he is to have such a beautiful and special demon in his life.
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