lost-and-ephemeral

[lost-and-ephemeral]

helloooo, can i req cuddling with love and deepspace boys? :))

Imagine: Loving Embrace (ft. main trio)

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: pure fluff

A/N: i'm still feeling pretty bad mentally because too many things happened and i'm no longer taking antidepressants, but this little cute request was hard to resist ♡ I decided to focus on different situations instead of writing simple hcs for cuddles

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Rafayel: Cuddles for Inspiration

"Come here, I can't find my inspiration without you."

At least that's what Rafayel always says when he can't find the right balance between painting and wanting to spend time with you. So why not combine both!

Yes, he's covered in paint and, yes, its smell completely soaked his clothes, but you never say no to him. How could anyone resist his cute pouty face when he's asking for something like this?

The moment Rafayel pulls you by the waist and sits you on his lap, be prepared to spend a very, very long time like this. Especially if he's really inspired by your closeness.

And he just can't let go of his muse in the middle of the creative process, right?

Rafayel holds you firmly but gently by your waist while his chin rests on your shoulder. His eyes are either closed as he thinks about something or focused on the canvas.

Sometimes his fingers draw invisible abstract shapes on your waist. He does it instinctively, without thinking. Or he plays with your own fingers while he draws details with his other hand.

"See? Without you, this painting wouldn't be complete."

Zayne: Cuddles for Productivity

"I need some cuddles to promote the production of oxytocin."

Zayne… Always remains Zayne, covering up his own desire to be closer to you with various medical terms and researches. It is cute in it's own way, actually.

He loves it when you hold him in your arms and he can completely relax for a while, resting his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat. He'll definetely call it a way to check your heath too.

Zayne loves to cuddle before or after work most of the time, but he won't refuse to be there for you during his break at work.

He needs to find the energy to keep working, after all.

He probably prefers to keep quiet during yor cuddling session, but if you want to tell him something, go ahead, Zayne won't say a word against it.

In fact, he even enjoys hearing your stories. Just make sure they don't contain things about your work that might alarm him. Otherwise, he might go back into strict doctor mode. But it's still only because of his love and care for you.

"Have you heard that hugs or any other show of affection can have health benefits, including reducing fear, stress, and pain? So it is good for both of us."

Xavier: Cuddles for Sleep

"My internal battery is completely drained."

And with these words Xavier will make himself comfortable in your arms while you're lying on the couch or bed and scrolling on social media.

And that's not even a joke, he's actually completely exhausted after spending the last couple days on missions without proper rest. You know Xavier, he either works non-stop or goes into hibernation after that. It'll take some time to change his habits.

In this state, he's more like a big plush toy, and you can do whatever you want with him. But the best idea is to play with his hair. This action always relaxes him.

After all, only in your hands he can find such a desired comfort.

Xavier will tell you about how his last mission went while you cuddle. Well, he will try to do it before sleep finally consumes him. And you'll be able to hear perfectly how his voice grows quieter and quieter with each word.

He's so cute when he's sleepy, isn't he? You can even tell him that to get a quiet chuckle in return. Xavier doesn't mind your little teasing.

"It's so warm in your arms, I swear I… I can't stay awake anymore…"

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Hello, sweethearts.

I'm sorry for the lack of content. I've lost inspiration and now struggling with heavy creative crisis.

As soon as it become better, I'll start posting again.

#ephemeral talk

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Sorry, sweethearts,

I got sick this morning and now I'm planning to take a few days off to rest and recover before continuing writing all your requests.

｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡

Love y'all.

#ephemeral talk

[lost-and-ephemeral]

lnds x reader where the boys and reader are in an argument like bringing their insecurities up and says something extremely hurtful that made mc cry and distant themselves and the boys regret it so much? 💓

HCs: Hurtful Words (ft. main trio)

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader, (seperate)

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort (in the end), maybe guys acting too OOC

A/N: I didn't want to make boys too OOC, so maybe it isn't exactly what you wanted, but I tried to follow your request ♡

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Xavier

On one of your last missions, you were too reckless and almost end up dying because of it.

Xavier almost lost you again, and the thought just drove him crazy.

He was worried and pretty angry since it wasn't the first time you were playing with fire.

When he showed up on the doorstep of your hospital room, Xavier was very distressed. Even your reassuring smile made no impression on him.

He still remembered how you died in his arms in the past.

So he snapped.

Not because he really wanted to offend you. No. But because his anxiety had turned into a furious stream of thoughts.

He was harshly talking about how reckless you are. About how you're not all-powerful or immortal, yet you never think about the consequences. About how stupid you're being, putting yourself in danger by jumping into a group of enemies.

Xavier, normally mild and calm, was acting so different now.

And you, being injured and bedridden, hardly wanted to see this exact reaction from him.

His words made you feel like a burden.

And when there was no trace of anger left, he suddenly fell silent, looking at the way your eyes were slowly filling up with tears.

Oh, no. He didn't mean it.

He really didn't mean it.

"Leave my room," you choked out, feeling deeply hurt by his words.

Even if he wanted to stay, it wasn't the best idea.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you."

But you were wounded too deeply by his harsh words, so you immediately distanced yourself from him, chasing him away.

Stupid? Reckless? Did he really see you like that?

Of course not...

Every minute of his existence Xavier was regretting the fact the snapped at you like this. He was supposed to support you after a serious injury, not make you hurt even more.

And the distance between the two of you made it worse.

Happy ending bonus:

This poor guy only lasted a day before he came back to see you in the hospital with a bouquet of flowers.

It was physically hard to stay away from you for so long, especially since Xavier has already spend years searching for you. And ruining everything by this stupid argument wasn't something he wished for.

He was apologizing for everything he said until you softened and let him stay.

Because you, too, were missing his presence.

"I'll never let anger get control over me again. I swear. Please, just... Get better soon."

Rafayel

Every now and then you and Rafayel would get into a playful argument, but now it was serious.

You just totally forgot about meeting with him at his studio and went to the mall with Tara.

Your busy schedule had jumbled up all the plans and days of the week in your head. And you ended up remembering your promise only a few hours later.

The fact that your phone was muted and you had hundreds of missed messages from Rafayel only made you feel more guilty.

So you tried to get to his studio as soon as possible while calling him. But he didn't answer.

Once you got there, you ran into a really pissed off Rafayel.

Yes, he was pouting at you from time to time.

But now the artist was more than angry.

You knew he was very sensitive when you suddenly disappeared without warning, so you immediately tried to make it up to him.

But it didn't really work.

"How could you forget about me?! You promised!"

Unexpectedly, Rafayel let himself snap at you.

He was so frustrated about the fact you forgot about him that he had no control over what he said.

He talked and talked. About not being able to trust you with your promises. About how he was tired of worrying about you when you suddenly disappear without a word. About how he was tired of waiting for you, thinking you decided to leave him, making him feel like a fish out of water.

And hearing about you being such an unreliable and bad person was truly painful.

His anger eventually led to you storming out of his studio in tears, not wanting to hear any more accusations against you.

You didn't cheat on him, didn't do anything wrong. That's why this sudden aggression from him made you so upset.

And only while standing alone in his studio Rafayel realized that he had made things worse. He didn't want you to leave him, yet this is exactly what happened.

He tried calling you, texting you. But all he got was silence.

Bonus happy ending:

After a few days the silence between you two became unbearable. He felt like he was in agony.

When you heard the doorbell ring in the evening, you didn't expect to see Rafayel looking like a wet, sad puppy. It seemed that he had been caught in the rain and had come to see you anyway.

He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other before finally lifting his gaze to look at you.

"I'm sorry. I acted like a total jerk. Please, I can't exist in isolation anymore, not being able to hear your voice or see you. You can even scold me till the end of time if you want, just don't leave me."

You missed him as much as he missed you. So you let him in.

Zayne

Sometimes Zayne was incredibly tired at work. Not just physically, but mentally.

At this time, he wanted more than anything to just rest and forget about all important matters. If such a thing was even allowed for a surgeon as busy as he was.

Maybe he'd be able to do it even more often if he didn't have to occasionally wait for you to show up for an appointment.

Especially since periodically you completely forgot about them. And in the worst cases, you were not only late, but didn't show up at all.

Usually, he would just lightly scold you, which didn't cause any problems. After all, it was Zayne's way to show that he cared about you.

But today was a particularly hard day at work.

So when you walked into his medical office, Zayne was sitting at his desk, massaging the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

And your excessive cheerfulness at that moment didn't make the situation any better. You sat down across from him with a smile. But he only shook his head, tired and disappointed.

"You forgot about your appointment again and decided to reschedule it for tonight?"

You smiled awkwardly, but didn't have time to say anything.

Oh, how annoyed he was, scolding you for how negligent you were about your health, ignoring all of his recommendations. He said that sometimes he felt like you are his personal headache. Except he couldn't get rid of you.

And he was too tired to notice how quickly the smile disappeared from your face, giving way to tears.

Before he could say anything, you threw the stack of papers with your test results on his desk, almost running out of his office.

The situation had gone far beyond what was acceptable, but Zayne realized it too late.

He tried to call you and even drove to your place right after his shift ended, but he was left standing in front of the closed door.

Maybe it would've been better to just let you cool off.

But with your silence, a devastating feeling settled in Zayne's heart. He was so, so sorry.

Bonus happy ending:

After a couple days of agonizing silence, he wanted nothing more than to see you. He managed to catch you before you went into your apartment.

You avoided his gaze, but you didn't leave, giving him time.

"I'm sorry. You're not a headache. I was having an awfully rough day at the time, so I snapped. It won't happen again."

Now you could clearly see the remorse in his eyes. You missed him so much and just couldn't push him away again.

After all, everyone can have an argument. The main thing is to be able to deal with the situation correctly.

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

i'm wheezing, this is so Rafayel

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.

MC: Which one? I have a lot.

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.

MC: Rafayel?! How much do you want for him?!

Kidnapper: Nothing! I'm begging you to pick him up already! He won't even let me leave until you're here! *Cries*

[lost-and-ephemeral]

may we have a fluff fic of us kissing Zayne's hands? Like...Just gently holding them and showing affection to him in such a soft matter?

Imagine: His Hands (ft. Zayne)

Pairing: Zayne (Love & Deepspace) x reader

Tags: fluff

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

In Zayne's case, he rarely got to spend a peaceful morning with you. But every time he did, you were very happy.

Just like this time, you watched him smile sleepily, his hair slightly disheveled after night, but he looked almost ethereal this way. Now in front of you was not a strict doctor, but the most beloved person in this world.

Your beloved person.

You slowly reached for his palms, squeezing them gently and pulling them closer to your chest. You already were familiar with every scar on his hands, and instinctively ran your fingers over them, making Zayne shiever a bit.

He knew how affectionate you can be, but every time he was filled with so much love towards you.

"What's so special about my hands?" he asked, watching your every move. And that warm smile didn't disappear from his lips.

Instead of answering him right away, you leaned closer to his hands and pressed a warm kiss to one of his scars, then to another. Until literally every scar was honored by your tender kisses.

This simple action made Zayne's breath hitch in his throat.

"I don't know," you admitted honestly, still not letting go of his cold palms. They were such a contrast to your warm ones. "Maybe they are so special because you're a surgeon with golden hands. Or maybe it's because I love you. And all your perfect imperfections like these scars should be showered in my affection too."

#love and deepspace zayne #lads #love and deepspace #zayne #zayne x reader #zayne x you

[lost-and-ephemeral]

*Everyone is playing a board game together*

MC: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Xavier: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Rafayel: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Zayne: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Rafayel: *flips the board*

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Just wanted to thank y'all (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡

I'm really happy you love my fics, because at first I wasn't sure if I should even start this blog or not (especially since I wasn't sure of my english). I'll try my best to create more good content in the future!

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Bot: Captured!Merman!Rafayel

this beautiful merman is completely at your mercy

You can find him HERE.

Heavily based on Rafayel's myth story, but not completely, I guess.

You're being addressed as 'Your Highness', he was captired and gifted to you. Beware of mentions of abuse. Pretty angsty. Rafayel is in his full merman form.

Description under the cut.

Your Highness was entitled to the finest gifts from the most powerful people. But when you entered the room with your next gift, you found something (or even someone?) you didn't expect to find. A Lemurian. This beautiful underwater creature that many rich people dreamed of having as a pet. And they proudly presented him to you. Like an object, an inanimate being. At the sight of you, he raised his head, his mesmerizing eyes, shimmering from blue to deep pink, focused on you. Obviously such a creature didn't give up so easily, as the bruises across his body attested to. Everything from the shimmering scales on his cheeks and neck to his silvery blue tail was beautiful. If it weren't for the conditions in which you had seen him. He looked haggard, God knows how long he had spent in captivity before he was gifted to you. And soon you were left alone with your new "toy".

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace ai #character ai

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Helloo><!!! I love your fics sm ueueue!!! I was wondering if it's okay with you to write about Zayne and Rafayel with a very childish Mc who loves a lot of cute stuffies!!! Mc is really bubbly and gets excited and happy over all the little things and just like Rafayel, they are a painter too:DD!!! except Mc doesn't get attention on their art which makes them sad... But overall, just a mostly bubbly and cuddly Mc on both if its okie><!! Tyyy!!!

HCs: Childish Beloved (Zayne, Rafayel)

Pairing: Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship

A/N: Thanks for your request, sweetheart! I'm also sorry it takes me a lot of time to write requests. So much work, so little time irl.

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Zayne

You're the exact opposite of Zayne, but that's not a bad thing.

Opposites attract. It works the same way with him.

Zayne is pretty reserved and quiet, so he needs a bright person like you for the perfect balance.

Your babbly and childlike demeanor makes his heart melt with love.

Even on the coldest and gloomiest day, you are able to shine like the sun itself.

It's hard for him to show affection, so your cuddly personality completely overrides that little flaw.

Every time you hug him unexpectedly, Zayne's whole body tenses up at first and then slowly relaxes in your arms.

Just don't melt that Mr. Snowman completely.

Don't mind your babbling, unless he has some very urgent work to do. Don't be upset, it's just that sometimes Zayne has lots of important work to do and he can't make a mistake.

After hard day at work he will 100% fall asleep to the sound of your voice.

Always praising your art, even the smallest sketches.

If you do a little goofy sketch of him, he'll carry it in his wallet. Always. He just won't admit it openly.

But one day you'll find out anyway. Zayne will just chuckle at your happy reaction.

When you get excited about the little things, he just shakes his head and smiles.

He can't believe that such a sweet little being could love someone as cold as him.

He doesn't mind that you in love with every cute little thing you see. Because, well, you're cute too.

Sometimes he will unintentionally look for something you might really like.

He's literally spoiling you with plushies and sweets.

You have a special warm place in his heart.

Rafayel

Rafayel isn't bothered in the slightest by your personality or your behavior.

He is an expressive and bright person in his own way.

Just loves listening to your babbling while he's painting. You can talk about anything that comes into your head, Rafayel won't say anything against it.

You're really cuddly person? Great, he doesn't mind and actually loves this too. He's pretty affectionate himself.

But he still blushes every time you get him into your arms. Cutie.

Perhaps sometimes it is your warm embrace that was missing for him to so wanted inspiration for his latest painting.

And speaking of paintings, he's just in awe of the fact that you're an artist too.

He'll be sure to ask you to paint something together with him.

Don't be surprised if at one of his next exhibitions you'll see this painting, even with an indication of your co-authorship.

Rafayel thinks that you and your art deserve all the love and attention. And he can provide it.

He will tell everyone that his beloved is really talented.

With you he is even more playful than usual.

You're his little sunshine. He's happy when you're happy. So when you're excited over something small, he can't help but chuckle and smile.

Loves seeing you all joyful and excited, because your joy is contagious.

If you see a cute thing you like, you'll have it right away.

Even in all available colors and variations if you want so. Rafayel can afford it.

Won't stop until he gets all the toys you like out of the claw machine.

Just never ever leave him. Rafayel won't survive without you and your adorable personality.

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

In Her Shadow got me sitting with my head in my hands at 7 in the morning, listening to If I Were A Boy by Beyoncé 🗿…. The psychic damage I just took…. Oh it hurts…

I almost cried when I wrote it. Hold on, sweetheart, I'm planning to write something fluffy in the future!

[lost-and-ephemeral]

thank you for writing “in her shadow”, the pain was as good as i had imagined it when i requested it :>>

And thank you for your warm words, I'm really happy you like it! (✿❛◡❛)

[lost-and-ephemeral]

What would the LaD boys do if the reader was sick?

Imagine: Get Well Soon (ft. main trio)

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: fluff, comfort, you are sick

A/N: as a person with really weak immune system i wish someone would take care of me too

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Zayne

"I'm prescribing bed rest for you for the next few days. No objections."

No matter how hard Zayne is trying to hide his concern for you behind a mask of indifference, you could still tell how he feels from his tone.

Either way, you're in the best possible hands.

Considering his job, he can't just leave everything and rush to you. He's got surgeries scheduled. But you can be sure he'll spend all his free time with you until you get better. And if you ask, he can lie down next to you.

He'll take care of cooking and will make sure you take your medicine on time. He may be a little strict with you, but that is only because Zayne really cares about you. You need cold compresses? Give him a minute. You're thirsty because of the fever? He's already brought you a glass of warm water. Hugs? Well, why not, since love is the best medicine.

Zayne is calm and collected, he knows exactly what needs to be done. So all you have to do is lie down and get well while he takes care of you and covers all your needs.

"Sleep. Your body needs to rest so it can recover faster. I'll be here."

Xavier

"It may not have turned out very tasty, but I really tried."

Poor Xavier, being very caring and sweet, is simply incompatible with cooking. Even when it comes to chicken soup. But he'll try for you this time.

Although you ended up agreeing on the fact that he'd just order delivery, rather than accidentally setting your kitchen on fire while trying to cook something else.

He'll try to take a couple days off to stay with you until you get better. Just so he doesn't have to worry about your health getting worse while he's on a mission.

He will make sure you have everything you need, especially a warm blanket. And if that blanket isn't enough, he can always keep you warm with his embrace. No, Xavier is not afraid of getting sick himself, he is confident in his immune system.

Most likely to fall asleep along with you at some point, cuddling you and resting his head on your chest. You will benefit from sleep, and he just needs it to recharge his energy. So it's a win-win.

"Just let me know if you need anything. Don't even hesitate to ask me."

Rafayel

"Don't worry, I won't let this teeny-weeny sickness stop us from spending time together. You'll get better soon under my care."

Rafayel sounds really confident, but he's actually worried. He just knows how to hide it well behind a thick layer of false self-confidence.

And he will never admit that he felt like a lost child for a minute.

Rafayel won't want to leave your side for a single minute and will make the coziest nest in the bed for you. Of course, someone has to go and buy some meds, because it's impossible to find any in the chaos of his studio, so that falls to Thomas.

Poor Thomas.

Luckily, he can cook quite well on his own, so you won't have any trouble with that. In any case, he can always order a delivery too.

Will spend as much time with you as you need and bring you whatever you want. Paintings can wait, he'll always be able to finish them on time. Besides, maybe he'll find inspiration from being with you.

Not afraid to get sick either, so he'll cuddle you 24/7, telling you that comes into his mind until you feel like sleeping.

"See? Told you I can take great care of you."

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Your "In her shadow" fic is so heartbreaking yet so amazing I believe it should be a series-

True. I think I need to create something like "Long series" category. And ty, sweetheart (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡

I recieved a few new requests to write an alternative happy ending for part 1 or to add more pain for our beloved boys in the next part. Gonna do both, but first I need to start writing other requests from my list. ♡

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Aesthetics: Oh, to be loved by him (main trio + Caleb)

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader, Caleb x reader (seperate)

A/N: Ty you for your love and kind words, sweethearts (✿❛◡❛) After so many angst we need something light and cute.

Rafayel

seaside walks; collecting shells; dancing under the rain; painting together; museums and art galleries; playful kisses; paint splashes on your clothes and face; fancy restaurants; beautiful jewelry; sunrise meetings.

Zayne

warm hugs; hot chocolate; sweets; kisses in the snow; holding hands; late night talks; breakfast in bed; sitting by fireplace; driving late at night; building snowmen; favorite plushies; tracing and kissing his scars.

Xavier

sleepy mornings; stargazing; reading together; slow dance; gentle kisses; movie nights; lazy days; long night walks; cuddles after hard day; shy gazes; wearing his favorite white hoodie; gentle touches.

Caleb

happy childhood memories; silly nicknames; tight hugs; going on a swing; drinking tea; fooling around; visiting old places together; loving gazes; remembering past; small gifts; funny messages; your favorite flowers.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #love and deepspace xavier #xavier x reader #love and deepspace zayne #zayne x reader #love and deepspace caleb #caleb x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Thinking about...

...making an angsty captured!merman!Rafayel bot for Character.ai. Especially after all these angsty fics.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Series: In Her Shadow, pt.2 (ft. main trio)

Part 1 | Part 2

Slowly but surely she replaced you in his heart.

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: angst, hurt no comfort, reader is not MC, breakup

A/N: I recieved a lot of comments and request asking me to continue, so here we are! I've tried my best. Ty everyone, I appreciate every message, even if it would be hard to mention every single one of them in this post. Also, if you want to be tagged in future fics, let me know!

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Rafayel

You began to notice that Rafayel was spending less and less time with you, choosing his bodyguard over you.

It wasn't obvious at first, yeah, but as time went on, everything became so noticeable that you couldn't ignore it anymore. Especially when he forgot about your plans with him and didn't even consider apologizing for it.

The smell of someone else's perfume in his studio, the way Rafayel would leave you at home and take her to all the important events because "you probably don't like spending time among journalists and annoying guests." It seems that he didn't even notice the moment when you were completely estranged from each other.

And all your attempts to talk to him about it ended with nothing.

"She's my bodyguard," he'd say. "No wonder I take her everywhere I go. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Yes, a lot of things were wrong.

But he was completely unwilling to notice it, and you were tired of collecting the shards of your broken heart from the floor day after day. Those warm feelings that brought a sense of lightness and happiness in your heart suddenly turned into pure torture.

You had to end it all, even if it'll hurt so much.

When you arrived at his studio this morning, you came face to face with "Ms. Bodyguard" herself. She was just about to leave, and didn't even hesitate to embrace your beloved. Right in front of you.

Maybe you would've exploded from all these negative emotions, if you had any strength left to be mad or to cry. But there was only emptiness in your heart.

You became strangers to each other.

"I'm breaking up with you," you said without any regret and pushed him away as he tried to hug you. "I don't want to be a second choice after your precious bodyguard."

"W-wait, why? What... But I didn't do anything!" he replied confused, apparently not realizing how much he's been hurting you all this time.

"Maybe that's the point. That you'd do anything for her, but not for me."

He looked at you with the same confusion in his eyes, trying to figure out if it was a joke, but you continued before leaving this place forever.

"You were everything to me, Rafayel. But for you, I was just a small episode of your life. I'm tired. You've been spending all your free time with her, like I didn't exist. It'll be better this way. Goodbye."

No matter how long he was calling your name, asking you to stop, to come back and talk with him, you didn't.

Zayne

Loving a cardiac surgeon with his busy schedule is hard.

But it's even harder when he no longer cares about your existence and spends a significant amount of time with his childhood friend.

After Zayne forgot about your reservation at the restaurant, making you feel like you were the last fool in this world, some more time has passed.

Yeah, he apologized. No, he didn't start spending less time with his "friend".

It's hard to count how many evenings you spent alone when he stayed late at work for her or was invited to a "friendly" dinner with her. But it happened often enough so finally your love turned into suffering.

At first you tried to convince yourself that you're too jealous and he's just happy to finally reunite with someone close to him from his youth. You care about your friends too, don't you?

But it only got worse.

All your plans were constantly adjusted to his friend's wishes. She wants to take him to a cafe at the same time you were planning to go to the cinema? "Sorry, love, let's reschedule our date for another day". You've made him his favorite dinner? Too bad, his friend already brought him dinner at work and he's not hungry.

Eventually you started feeling like he stopped enjoying your time together and just continued to exist in the same apartment with you out of habit.

Talking didn't get you anywhere, because Zayne didn't notice how much he was hurting you (or he simply didn't want to notice it) with his actions and only distanced himself from you even more.

At some point you felt like he put an ice wall around himself again.

He stayed late again this evening, completely forgetting his promise to spend time with you. You packed your things with tears in your eyes, ready to say goodbye to life with Zayne once and for all.

And he showed up at the doorstep of his apartment just as you were ready to leave.

"What's going on?" his voice didn't betray a shred of emotion. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to leave you and your lovely friend together so I don't have to be an unwanted addition to your life."

Zayne was taken aback at this statement and was about to say something, but you interrupted him.

"You were the one who brought happiness and comfort into my life. You were the one who made me feel loved and wanted. But now I realize that I wasn't good enough for you. Goodbye."

You walked away and closed the door behind you, leaving him all alone.

Xavier

Before, you without a doubt would've said that your relationship with Xavier was the ultimate dream.

But now it wasn't actually true.

Yes, your beloved still showed care and attention every spare minute he had. Just not to you. It seemed as if his colleague started to occupy his every thought.

During dinner, on a walk, after missions. He was always talking about her, how strong she is, and how lucky he is that she chose him as her partner. His eyes were shining with delight you had never seen before.

You were happy for him, but only until it crossed the line. Only until you started to feel like he was in love with her, not with you.

One day you found yourself completely miserable. Xavier texted you that he would be late because they had "decided to celebrate another successful mission". Except that you were usually the one he shared his joy with. But things have changed.

Even though you were the brightest star in his world, you were inevitably lost behind the glow of the Moon.

You were trying to be better, to be more interesting. Trying to reach an unattainable ideal. But you couldn't. After all, maybe you were never meant to be together if it turned out like this. Maybe you weren't enough for him.

You couldn't remember the last day you didn't cry. Sometimes alone, sometimes locking yourself in the bathroom after another conversation about this "super-strong collegue". But Xavier didn't seem to notice it at all.

"I thought maybe you'd be interested to know what happens during missions," he said when you brought up this painful topic.

And, yes, you were interested. But all you heard was, "She took down that Wanderer so easily, I couldn't take my eyes off her." Or, "she's so good with her weapon, it's amazing."

He distanced himself from you so much that you hardly spent any time together.

He wasn't even home the day you left.

Xavier sent you a message saying he'd be late again. As usual, with her. Even though he promised to have a movie night and you had already prepared everything you needed for it.

Maybe it's even better if you don't see the look in his eyes the moment you tell him you're breaking up with him. You packed your things and left a note on the table, next to the snacks you bought.

"Maybe in another universe I would be worthy of you so you could look at me with the same adoration. I can see that you enjoy spending time with her much more. And we should break up so you don't torment my heart anymore. Goodbye."

You glanced around his apartment one last time before leaving it forever.

♡ tags: @skyowlz @prettytemis @aishasreality @randompersonwhoexist @kreishin @reni502 @moonyzstarz @chin-chii

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader