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spideyy-girl · 5 years

Text

Dating Richie Tozier Would Include...

Request by anon: hey are u writing richie fics??? if so can you just do one where he realizes he really loves her or just a dating richie fic?

Summary: pretty simple,,, what it would be like if you were dating the infamous “trash mouth” of Derry (spoiler it’s fukin awesome)

Fandom: IT

Warnings: swearing, abusive parents are mentioned, serious injuries and talking of death, making out

Word Count: 1480 (4.3 pages)

A/N: so this was requested in May and to the anon who did request this I’m so sorry it took so long! Also, I hope you don’t mind that I did a headcanon instead cause I just had so much to say. But anyways hope you enjoy!

~~~

Dating Richie is just so like nice and just perfect

you guys would've met a long time ago, he defended you when Henry Bowers tried to take your animal crackers in kindergarten

and ever since then you two were thick as thieves

being the closest friends out of the entire Losers club

you started to get feelings for him in sixth grade...

it was one of the many nights when he had come over to your house in the late hours of the night due to his mother drinking again or another family issue

you had stayed up and let him rant to you, holding his hand in yours and gently brushing your thumb against his knuckles as he tried to keep his tears at bay

he hated crying in front of you more than anyone

after he had gotten everything out he was exhausted

he fell asleep right away as you were finding extra pillows

still dressed in his jean shorts and stupid hawaiian shirt

you had seen it many time before but this time it triggered something in you and you knew you were fucked

you not being able to hide your feeling for him and told him two weeks later

you never kept any secrets from the other so it was bound to happen

but thank god he felt the same whoo

and this BOY he was just so EXCITED like YES

after you turn around he definitely starts dancing and pumping his fist in the air

you catch him doing it too

your first date is at the arcade (obviouslyyyyyy)

he teaches you how to play mortal combat

you guys get slushies and it somehow ends up in spilling the entire thing on each other

"SLUSHIE FIGHT"

but as I was saying he's just really the perfect boyfriend right y'know

cause he's already your best friend and you guys aren't awkward and you can trust him and tell stupid jokes to each other

but also Richie has a soft side (fight me on this)

tells you stupid pick up lines, gets you little gifts and flowers, always spoiling you with little things like that

is SOOO into pda but only if you're comfortable with it of course

soft pecks: YES

forehead kisses: MORE YES

hand kisses: BIG YES

hand holding: ALL THE TIME

hugs: EVERY DAY

always has to be touching you, sorta clingy but in a good way

especially after the events of IT, he is always nervous and always has to have his hands on you

because you got seriously hurt during the events of the Well House in the final battle

this poor boy thought you weren't gonna make it and was just so distressed

staying by your side at your hospital bed every single day without fail (not like he had many other people to be with)

crying silently into your hand when he was alone

but when you woke up he was so happy he started to cry more

showers you in kisses and cries to you about how scared he was about you leaving him and his nightmares about the clown from the sewers

slips the big L-word while rambling without even realizing it

and even though you guys are young you knew that you felt the same way, but would save that conversation for later

when your nurse walks in to check on you she finds you and Richie asleep on the tiny hospital bed, cuddling

his head was on your shoulder and your hands were threaded through his long black hair, that was pretty greasy but you didn't mind

his glasses fell off a while ago and cracked but neither of you really cared

Richie practically living with you after his household becomes too much so he's just always over

him always acting like an angel when he's around your parents and them actually loving him and basically adopting him

him wanting your parents to think he's a good influence because all of his other friend's parents despise him for some reason

OMG SLEEPOVERS

your mom and dad wouldn't think much of it before agreeing like once a week since you used to have them all the time when you were younger and before you were dating

you two making out in your room and Richie being really nervous because "what if they just come in?"

(they never do anyways)

doing dumb karaoke sing-alongs to songs like africa and bohemian rhapsody

MOVIE MARATHONS

would usually consist of multiple star wars movies and stupid romcoms that your mom has a stash of

groaning at all the cheesy scenes even though they were exactly like the two of you in real life

cuddling on the couch and sharing a blanket awwww

him feeding you popcorn as you're watching the movies AWWWW

you guys eventually tire yourselves out and sleeping on the couch LIKE JUST SO GODDAMN CUTE WOW

you guys go to your first school dance together

Richie bicycles to your house and makes sure to bring you the nicest bouquet of flowers not so much money could buy

he was for some reason so nervous, like his palms were sweating as he rang the doorbell, and was constantly smoothing down the one regular white button-up shirt he owned

when he sees you in your cute little dress with your hair done in little curls and the small amount of makeup your mother had done for you, he felt like he was gonna faint

how did he get so damn lucky like... SERIOUSLY

little did he know you were thinking the exact same thing as you smiled brightly back at him

you guys had an absolute ball, dancing all night like crazy people, not even caring about the popular kids at school judging you

slow dancing at the end of the night to put your head on my shoulder and it being really sweet

him kissing you at the end, and even though it's still awkward middle school kissing it was just the best thing ever

"I sorta think I may be in love with you"

"I know, you told me last month"

going into highschool still strong as ever just POWER COUPLE

still being nerds and bullied a lot but also everyone wanted to be you cause your relationship together was PERFECT

you guys had one small fight in junior year because of some nasty freshmen were trying to get him to ask them to prom

the poor boy was absolutely oblivious and didn't know what was happening until you started yelling at him

you guys break up during the summer but just before school starts he shows up at your door with a big teddy bear, a bog full of chocolate, a handpicked bouquet of daisies, and a very practised apology

you couldn't help but run into his arms again

you went through everything in life together after that, graduation, college, getting jobs, finding a place to live, and eventually getting married and having a family together

you guys have one little girl named Annie and she's just so perfect

her being such a daddy's girl and having Richie wrapped around her little finger

Richie is the best dad imaginable, despite his not so similar upbringing, going as far as to play dress up and having tea parties with his little girl

living in a cute apartment together in new york, where Richie worked as a radio host for one of the biggest stations in the country

your loves being complete and everything was just how it was supposed to be finally

well, that is until you guys get the phone call from your childhood friend Mike

when IT comes back Richie insists you don't come with him back to Derry, saying that you had to go watch the Annie while he was away

you gave up after a long few days of fighting over it

never being able to sleep since whenever you closed your eyes all you could see was that stupid clown hurting your husband

always keeping Annie close to you all the time and never letting her leave your sight, even though you no longer lived in Derry, or Maine even and there was technically no threat towards you guys

when he gets home you've never been happier in your life

taking Annie to the airport to pick him up and running into his arms when you finally see him, your little girl in your arms as well

"It's over now, it's gone for good this time"

you guys grow old together, and are both really happy and love to recall useless memories from when you were children and everything turns out great

wow honestly I'm crying at this point

you guys are just so damn perfect and everything is perfect I love this

okay sorry I'm done now have fun

~~~

TAGS:

Permanent: @phonegalhelp @caswinchester2000 @gwenebear @morganvanilla

Let me know if you want to be added to a taglist!

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier #richie tozier headcanons #headcanon #it #it 2017 #it chapter 2

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xiaolindude · 4 years

Note

xs or tts!

Send me series and I’ll tell you my:

U GET BOTH.

Favorite character

oBVS RAI

Second favorite character

i love clay, kimiko, dojo, jack and wuya sO SO MUCH. THEY’RE ALL MY SECOND FAVOURITE. it changes quite a lot but if i had to pick just one i guess i’d go with jack?

Least favorite character

i’m not a big fan of chase tbh, and The Bean is a dumb dumb.

The character I’m most like

listen rai is easy to write bc. we are. essentially the same person. i mean he’s cooler than i am and has powers but the mindset and thought processes and fears and stuff? spookily similar. i think i watched the show at 6 years old and was like ‘that one is my favourite so i’m gonna subconsciously adopt his personality’ lmfao

Favorite pairing

i used to ship kimiko and raimundo a lot as a kid but now i much prefer them as Best Friends. i love my raijack with all my soul but a Very Specific Brand of raijack, and not in a canon sense. I don’t think i really ship anything properly in a canon sense

Least favorite pairing

i really really dislike ch.ack. like a lot.

Favorite moment

when people underestimate rai and he fucks their shit up and they’re like ‘... oh’. idk man there are so many moments i love! i love whenever kimiko or clay get to shine for once. e.g. in ‘like a rock’ where clay won his showdown by just... being nice to that bird?? what a fukin sweetheart omg

WAIT THIS MOMENT WAS SUPER POIGNENT AND IMPORTANT TO ME AS A KID. rai being like “I know! I’m the only not apprentice! But you brought me here because you knew I could become the Dragon of Wind! If I’m ever gonna learn to be who I can be, people are gonna have to trust me”.

LIKE. this is a kid who has some BIG failings and made some BIG mistakes, but is fighting so hard to try and make up for them. and he’s been kicked REPEATEDLY because of these mistakes, again and again, especially in this episode. and his biggest canonical fear is not being good enough! and yet here this poor kid is, standing up for himself, showing up for himself, acknowledging he’s not there yet and he’s got work to do, but also believing in himself enough to stand up for his right to be trusted to try. like?????? i just. dang. that Hit Hard and still does

Rating out of 10

honestly 9/10 season 3 got kinda weird and some characters were done dirty but i mean it IS a kids show and it’s got a lot of childhood nostalgia so i’m not tHAT mad also who approved xc i just wanna talk

TTS:

Favorite character

EUGENE OFC

Second favorite character

lanceeeee, my underrated angel

Least favorite character

big oof. ummmm Calliope ig ?

The character I’m most like

eugene with a pinch of cass and a lil’ sprinkling of varian. and a little bit of willow

Favorite pairing

New Dreaaammmmmm

Least favorite pairing

c.assunzel for sure. also cassarian for obvious reasons

Favorite moment

the songs bc they’re (almost) all bops. idk man, i’ve made a lot of posts on my eugene blog detailing a bunch of my fave moments but i can’t pinpoint one in my head rn for some reason. i love every lance and eugene interaction bc i loVE STUPID BROTHERS.

Rating out of 10

probably 7/10. i hate season 3 for the most part but seasons 1 and 2 are solid, the music is AMAZING, the art is beautiful and the story is fun. i just despised cass’ s3 arc, what they did to rapunzel’s character and the way eugene was treated so poorly by the writers so they could focus on their new characters instead :/// I am Bitter. but overall it’s super fun and gave us a lot of great stuff

#cauterisen #what’s the dealy? • ANSWERS.#moça • OOC.#long post //

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lustingtc · 5 years

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24th October 2019

*leans on doorframe*

Do I have a motherfuckin blog post 4 u 😳😳

Its a ride fo sure 🤪✌🏻

ANYWAYZ

T came a lil bit late cuz he was on duty 😌😌😌

He,,,, coat 🥰🥰🥰🥰💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

It maybe his only good fashion decision in his whole life... 🙄💅🏻💁‍♀️

For like a good 5 minuets T was just rambling as he logged on??? 😟😟

He said something, then a kid was like “You should run for prime minister xd”

So T started talking abt... killing the queen..? N killing the whole royal family... so... 😬😬😬

But we played this game for the lesson 😌✌🏻

The first thing he did was

Place a fukin bet on who was gonna win.

He’s wild as fuck 😳😳😳😳

To make a long story short tho...

It was me n S who he picked!!! 😳🤪😳🤪✌🏻

We came second. Only cuz the fat cunt girls cheated 🤮🤮🤮

He was kinda disappointed... more jokingly lol,, but we’ll win next time >:3

These girls where giggling when going to answer n T was like

🤪🤪🤪 ”HAHAHAHA!1!!!1111!111!”

Really sarcastically??? I’m- he bab doe,,,

But 🥵🥵🥵

So💦MuCH!!🤪eyE👁FUCKING!!!!!👌🏻👈🏻

It was unbelievable man. I’m pregnant from this shit he’s pulling 🤰 like BRO,,

T’s absolutely fucking bat shit tho

S asked him to come over, to ask a question

This man 😌😌

He could of been normal and just... got up?

No. Not T.

Mans fucking pushes his spiny chair from his desk to the door which he THEN pushes himself OFF the fucking wall to our desk...

The man is mad.

Mad SEXY 🔥🔥🔥😎😎😎

Jk 🤢 isH,,

N OMG 😡😡😡

He UwU 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 when he came over he was so smiley!!!

His dumb big smile just makes me 🥺🥺🥺

I love hIM!!! 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Goofy mofo just,,,, 👉🏻👈🏻🥺,,, hes so handsome and lovely and nice and beautiful n amazing,,,

Lik @ God if I don’t at least get to KISS this man once. I cannot die. Infact. I will kill god.

From UwUs to OwOs

T’s into incest??? 😨😨😨

Look— there’s an explanation for this.

Baso some kid in his french was like,,,

“I’d 😜 love to have💦a sexy step sister 👱‍♀️”

T in our Spanish was like

“I was like 😬😬 okay. Bit weird”

T in the kid (&my inside gal) French was like

“😉😉😉 Haha! Sexy step sis LOL!”

N was apparently rly dragging the joke of sexy step sister??? 🤔🤔🤔

Which made me think...

Is T into step sister incest? 🤢🤢

Logical answer: probably not. Funnier answer: LOL YEA

And that’s all my notes on that fucking MESS of a lesson

But it don’t end there.

Dogman.

🤮🤮🤮 ugliest man to live

He came into my English class asking 4 a key

When I tell you he looked ugly.

My god he did.

His shirt legitimately looked like BARNY THE DINOSAUR had long passionate sex with a FUCKIN PICNIC BLANKET!!

Ive never seen such an ugly fucking thing

It pained me.

I regretted everything.

Loving him, being in that lesson, being alive.

His fit almost sent me into a depressive episode

😀😀😀 I hate him 😀😀😀

ThEN THID FUCKING KID!!!

Miss like brushed Dogman off n this kid goes

“LOL! Miss like Sir!!”

I’m there like 😗😬😳

She denied all emotions. But. I kinda saw it. 🤮

BACK TO MY LOVER N HIS BOYFRIEND 😳😳😳

In M’s class their doing relationships n they had to plan a wedding

Apparently last yr sum kid in T’s lesson planned M & T’s wedding 😨😨😨🤭

Mfw my bf has a hubby 😱😱

TO MAKE IT WORSE SKEJALENNR

T was apparently like

“Tru dat.”

😭😭😭💔💔💔 HES A GAY WTF!!!!!!

Never do trust that man.

& to make an already bad situation EVEN WORSE

*deep inhale*

T MIGHT BE MOVING BACK TO GERMANY??

I’m a few years tho.

Hopefully not anytime soon.

But it’s bc of FEKIN BREXIT 😡😡😡

Hopefully 😌😌😌 this is a lie.

Something that won’t happen until we’re many many MANY happy years into our relationship.

😗💅🏻💍 #TrueLoveFindsAWay

So tiring this man is...😴😴😴

NOT THE END THO!!!!

Dogman. Rite. 😷😷😷

He gave my friend his phone for her to use for Kahoot n sadly she didn’t have a snoop

BUT.

We did find out his recent emojis where

🤡❤️...

Funny bc his last name sounds like clown.

Is he a secret Twitter stannie? 🤮

Is he a regular Twitter normie jumping on the new cancel culture victim? 🤡🤡

Or is he bullying himself? 🥺🥺🥺

Who knows. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s just hope he’s not a stannie 🙄🙄🙄🙄

T stans Ari so I can’t have 2 of them since T’s already enough 🤮🤮👎🏻💔

Unless it’s Miku

Dogman can stan miku.

Anyways

I GG Y. Bye 👋🏻💋

#teacher crush #tc #teacher crush community #tc community #Z #dogman

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kennyswifu-blog · 5 years

Text

Corpse Park chapter 1

Craig: oh IM SORRY! It’s not MY FAULT you guys are PIECES OF SHi-

Thomas; THATS IT MR. YOU ARE GROUNDED!

Craig: CANT DO THAT! I’m 18 THOMAS im not your kid! I don’t even LOOK LIKE YOU AND MOM! I’m probably adopted!

Thomas: IF YOUR NOT OUR OUR KID THEN GET OUUT!

Craig: whatever, I’m seriously tired of this

Tweeks POV

I’m In so much trouble! My parents are going to find out AND KILL ME GAHHHH, TOO MUCH PRESSURE x<

Tweek: if they find out me and Craig..... and Clyde, Token, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and cartman, that we drank last night?! Oh no- AH GAGGGG

Tweek parents: tweek, sweetie, come down stairs

Tweet: GAH THEY KNOW-

tweeks mom: know what?

Tweek: that- um I’m gay! And that I love them a lot

Tweeks mom: oh yes we know that.

Tweek then starts to calm down after awhile and then soon got a call by Craig.

Craig: hey- I was kicked out of my h-house a-and- ca-can I c-c-come o-over?

Tweek: Craig! Are you ok AHHH

Craig: y-y-yes h-h-hone-ey.....

Tweak: ok Craig...... are you sure?

Craig: y-YES (not a yell though like a crying loud sounds?¿?)

Tweak: ok- and let me ask- ok?

Craig: ok- thanks H-Honey <3 love you-

Tweak: love you to-

Craig hanged up before hearing tweak. He waits for a response.

Craig POV

I wonder why it’s taking so long for tweak just to ask his parents.... I might as well go to the cabin that we broke cartmans electronics. Hah, memories.... hmmmm... I wonder how he’s been, he never talks to me anymore after-..... what I did...... I wonder if he’ll ever forgive me for what- uh.... mistake I made, it wasn’t even tweaks fault but he gets punished for being my boyfriend....

After Stan moved away to the farm, Kyle has been pretty lonely..... Kyle tried dating him to get them closer but- it made it worse..... Wendy found out and tried kicking his ASS. Of course she failed cause she’s a weak bitch- i mean “lady” well it’s not my fault, she is one. Poor Kyle just wanted Stan to understand he wants to just be “closer” hah just made it rhyme-

*ring*

Message from ❤️tweak❤️. Hey sweetie, for some reason they said no- but we can go and hang out at the abandoned cabin with everyone else?

Craig: I’m already a step ahead of you! Meet you there at 12:20? Or sooner? It’s only 11:59 right now, so do whatever floats your boat, cowboy!

Tweak: gee.... you sound like a dad.... ARE YOU PREGNANT?!? Wait.... AM I PREGNANT!??!???! AHHH THIS IS TO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!!

Craig: Lol, we cant be pregnant! We’re guys...... cya later honey

Tweak: ok.... bye!

Tweaks POV

Craig and I been together since 4th grade. And we’re in high school, it’s a big deal for us! Clyde and Bebe, broke up.... oh token and nikole are doing bad- Kyle and Stan never are going to be “something” Kyle and cartman- lets just say..... cartman will always have a flat heart after it.....

FLASHBACK———>

“Kahl, I must tell you the truth..... I’ve been- UG- I’m in love with you ok!” Kyle had the meanest face expression ever..... “are you fucking serious?! You made Stan HATE ME! And you made everyone think I WAS SOMETHING BAD!!!! AND YOU CALLED MY MOM A BIG FAT BITCH, AND YOU MAKE FUN OF ME FOR BEING A JEW!?! And WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IS kalh I love you nynynyny, SEROUSLY FUCK YOU!” Cartman froze and let’s just say after that the hospital was needed there at the scene

END OF FLASHBACK————>

I must say, I’m happy Craig isn’t like that- I must say, he’s good to be around...... when you get under his skin...... he’s a real lover.....

Later......

I started sneaking out after my parents died after drinking to much. Not really though just passes out- anyways....

Craig: when will u be here I’m bored X(

Tweak: on my way! Just hold on. I waited till my parent passes out after all that bear.

After awile everyone got their

Clyde: u say we play this game, it takes you to a world of nightmares making your darkest dreams come true...

Token: it sounds fun and might be fake-

Kenny: UNLESS WE TRY IT, token, we won’t know? Anyways is it possible we can die there

Clyde: oh you bet your sweet ass!

Kenny: LIT AND don’t say that.... I know I’m thick but I get it- you guys have fun dying.

Clyde: you not playing pussy?

Kenny: oh I am, I just can’t die.

Clyde: loser, still with that?

Kenny: because it’s true!

Clyde: sure thing partner

Stan: lets just start

Kyle: yea it might be fun to see FATASS CARTMAN SUFFER!

Cartman: shut up ye FUKin a Jew! I’m not fat I’m big boned....

Kyle: whateve-

Stan: OMG SHUT UPPP-

Kenny: why did they come? Who invited these losers?

Token: lets just do this already.

Tweak: oh GAH OH GOD NO?!

Craig: it’s ok honey it’s not real.

Tweak: GAH you sure- IT SEEMS DANGEROUS!!!!

Craig: honey- please?

Tweak: if it works IM BEING YOUR WORSE NIGHTMARE! AHHH

Craig: ok honey.

Clyde: the ritual need blood from all of us. We put it on the door only a minute from 3, then you will see, they night will become decay? Only one will know the right way out, just be quite and don’t shout, survive till 6, with all your sticks and don’t forget the blood.... so collect sticks and put blood on the door ok..... wait decay? Like what? Zombies BLEEHHH.

Craig; your an idiot... lets just do it

They all collected sticks and came back with 6 to open the gate to hell. Tweek almost threw up from fear but overcame it with a hug and kiss from Craig.... after it was done at first nothing happened but were they wrong? Yes, they were. The room turned dark, darker than black, and they got sleepy, maybe to sleepy and woke up 6 days late....

A dark land of fog, nothing here but us... what happened that night and are they in the world?

Find out next episode..... #southpark #horror #risk

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wayward-pendragon · 6 years

Text

Klance Fic Rec!

I said I would do this and here it is (a little late)! This is a list of some of my favourite Klance fics with a mix of canon and AU. I have read so many more Klance fics than Iisted here so if this list is well recieved I’ll make another rec list?! Okay, let’s begin!

nothing’s quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts

Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.

I loved this one. I’m a sucker for coffee shop AUs man. This one is just super super sweet and I love it.

call me, beep me by orphan_account

Summary: (00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose? (00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake? (00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it? (00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy... (00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones? (00:45) What (00:46) The (00:46) Fuck??? (00:47) Oh good, you are awake! where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

Wrong number AU. Iconic. This fic is hella long but so fucking adorable and funny please read this omg. It’s such a happy fic, I literally just smiled while reading.

Dirty Laundry by Anonymous

Summary: "Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?” Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right? “Alright, it’s a deal.”Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance's 'fake boyfriend'.

What klance rec list doesn’t have this fic? It lives up to the hype though, man does it ever. Anyone who read my last fic rec list knows I am absolute trash for fake dating fics and this has literally everything you could want. Just read it.

Not That Bad by varelsen

Summary: “Am I really going to have to explain this to you?” “No, I’m totally fine with you shutting up right about now.” Hunk cups his hands around his mouth. “You. Are crushing. On Keith.”Or, a college AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time.

Welcome my friends to story about two idiots who are clearly in love but refuse to admit it. A very cute college/uni AU. I read this one really late at night and I’m pretty sure I squealed like a little girl because it was damn cute.

you never stood a chance by kagshina

Summary: lance to hunk ♡ >i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent >keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said >”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS” >HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there's lots of shirtless selfies)

The summary says it all. Keith is beautiful. Really though, this fic is hella cute, it gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling.

CANON

A Shove Towards Love by General_Button

Summary: A simple rescue mission turns into chaos when the species on the planet Novaria take an interest in the lives of two of its paladins.

This was my first Klance fic ever and I haven’t read it in forever but remember it being fucking great.

Nightmares by Trashness

Summary: Lance's nightmares are getting out of control. It's effecting his and the team's performance, but he's at a loss for how to fix this.Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps.

Basically just Keith and Lance cuddling for almost 15K but also deals with issues like homesickness and it’s just really really goddamn cute.

My Youth Is Yours by MilkTeaMiku

Summary: An unforseen blast in the middle of a battle de-ages Lance into a child for a week. Keith does not understand babies.

Baby Lance is so fuckin cute and Keith having to take care of him bc baby Lance loves him just makes me feel all happy and giddy. I don’t know what else to call this fic other than adorable.

Objects in Motion (When Unbalanced) by Mytay

Summary: Lance and Keith are constantly being mistaken for a couple. Lance is highly offended. Keith is quietly outraged.Pidge decides if she can’t have peace, then she can write an epic scientific dissertation on the romantic failings of two exceptionally dense paladins.

LOLOLOL Lance in this one ISTGGGGGG. Sometimes you just wanna shake him and yell because how tf can he not know he loves Keith smh honestly.

In My Mind by Sarolonde

Summary: How not to confess to the boy you like: Lance’s unnecessary bitterness edition.Keith can hear your thoughts, Lance reminds himself. Stop thinking! Stop thinking about how freaking attractive that jerk is! He’s not! He has a stupid mullet, that’s probably really soft and silky and I really want to run my fingers through it. And he’s always pouting but his rare smiles light up his face and make his blue eyes shine like—Holy quiznak, what is wrong with me?!

This one is short and hilarious. Lance’s inner monologue kills me as he tries (and fails spectacularly) to stop thinking about his huge ass crush while Keith can hear his thoughts.

Well y’all this is the end. Like I said at the top, I have so many more Klance fics to share so if you guys want another list shoot me a comment, ask or message! As always, feel free to talk to me about any of the recs or rec me some new fics to read!

#klance #lance mcclain #vld keith #vld #vld lance #keith kogane #voltron #klance fic #klance fic rec #shiro #Pidge #hunk #allura #coran #ao3

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ramblingshit · 5 years

Text

Jane Eyre - 1996 - 2/5

what even is acting. what even is a script.

wasn't gonna do this one but fuck it's aunt petunia and rogue. here we go.

lots of credits fairo. more credits. damn fukin eh - i hear you're a wicked child! lol hi. now we're talking about hell and where bad people go. 'keep well and not die' ahaha m8. fkn reed putting seed in that she's a liar. teach her at her prospects, don't let her come back, she's a lying little shit take her away from here. he's appropriately scary oh shit she's saying this in front of the priest. damn tear that lady a new one. unruly, obstinate, wicked, deceitful, man these people hate kids who act out. walks in and damn she's on teh stool already - IS THAT THE LADY FROM PERSUASION. damn she just got here and he's telling everyone to not trust her, she doesn't get to eat and has to stand - she's just done hours of travelling fuckin assholes. IT IS THE LADY FROM PERSUASION. shes got dark hair and dark eyes and shes like glaring at everyone like shes onna kill him in their sleep. lol enjoy helen while she's alive. eatin bread and cheese in bed like she's not gonna get crumbs. omg telling these kids how to stand properly what why this lady hate her she's gonna cane her for not washing her hands. bish doesn't even flinch go helen. 'cleanliness is next to godliness' alright crazy. this school is a lot more chill than most of the others - they're laughing and doing what they want as well as learning and playing games. making jane out to be a pro artist. oh no ol mate saw her with her hair out. no dont cut it. 'vanity?' shes out here with naturally long, red and curly hair and he's out here calling her vain? because he recognises it as lovely she must be vain about it? what a fkn dickhole get off your high horse sexist moron pig anus head. what. he's saying her naturally iwgh what i don't even understand his shit - it isn't offending him thats the issue its her naturally occuring sin and vanity (because her hair exists?) that is the issue?? what. lol go Jane. NO. oh fuck go Jane go. this guyyyy. don't do it Jane. chin held high she only does it when Helen nods at her to. DAAAAAAAAMN. took of her own bonnet. if Helen's hair goes so does Janes. they stood together looked at each other and flipped their heads over for him to go snip snip, bish looked shock and actually stepped back in horror. What a bae. Helen's fkn dying send help. fuck this lady should not be working with children considering how much she hates children. o shit where's helen. her beds all rolled up. can hear her hacking away in the distance. yikes that sounds bad. jane be creepin. oh fuck she's a terrible actress even as a kid. who honestly thinks its a good idea to hire her. she lying in her dying friend's bed and she's breathing all over her. isn't anna paquin australian? no? ah new zealand fairo. oh fuck Helen's daed. she's trying to squeeze out tears ahah oh no. she can't manage it. anna go back to new zealand you suck at acting who hired you ever. Riparoonies helen. that was actually the greatest jane and helen moment i've seen tbh. oh damn cool transition as she walked from helen's grave - she went from kid to adult. whats this part down the midde all of them got. Miss Temple fam, persuasion lady, fantastic lady, crying as Jane leaves like her mumma. this jane is long-flat-faced with a long protruding jaw, and very tall and skinny. thornfield looks like its already burned down ahaha. straight up castle here. she's got her drawing stuff as well as her bag. nice friendly ol mate meets her and opens the gates - big ass square this is some game of thrones shit yearh this place is like medieval more than victorian. the middle parted hair and the curled twists behind her head they're pretty much exactly the same in most Janes. all chillin and chatting about this together rather than completely separate. adele actually legit sounds french rather than just pretending? noice. dreary, cold, dark halls. her room is bright and airy with a four-poster bed and bay windows and lots of very nice furniture. river runs beside it; enormous tapestries; main gallery with lots of furniture and paintings and sculpures all covered in sheets with windows open to let in light; the doors are very large and heavy. Janes got a very long neck she looks legit like a fkn swan lmao. ooh a rochester backstory. well-travelled, intelliegent, can't tell if he's talking in jest or in earnest, or if he is pleased or irritated, not a happy man. they're just walking about in his rooms. the sun shines bright but cannot reach them through the thick mist. they're very soft-spoken. god her head is so far forward she's like the alien - long ass neck stretching forward and then her chin and jaw stretching wayyyy forward. wack wack anatomy. it's very dark and dreary. she's off for a walk leaving adele to do like 5 sums. oh she's been here five minutes and they're already meeting. the music is like ... not appropriately intense? he just sorta looked at her, the horse tripped over and then he was on the floor and she's like whoops uh you alright bro. he's outright lying and pretending that he's not rochester his hair is grotty he's got like no hair on top they've just tries to scraggle it. this is so stunted and awkward. i hope it gets better. he's very gentle and she's pretty nonexistent to far. my god very gentle man. what. is he even rochester? that's a german shepherd. noice. playin chess by himself by the fire lol. this movie would be made infinitely better by an actual soundtrack. they're all chilling together again it's interesting - adele and fairfax and rochester and jane. wait she's been here 4 months. it literally didn't show anything about her chilling here. she talked back and now he's grumpy lol. what a terrible start compared to like... every other first convo. isn't she supposed to be not great at piano and yet she's teaching adele -- wait now we're at another convo between the duo. this convo is the other half of --- wait now we're talking sketches? jesus she hmm what are they talking about she's being forward and fuck her chin twists forward as she speaks she kinda looks like the wicked witch of the west. he's judging her drawings like he can do better. this is a mess? the best part about this so far is adele. there's no sense of time. adele is gorgeous honestly. she's pale and gaunt with bags beneath her eyes. wait here's the next part of the conversation. blunt and brusque replies from her. god they're so obviously acting its painful. they have no chemistry because the CONVERSATION IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. they've done it on pruspose to try stretch things out a bit but like plz EY why he scrunch up the drawing wtf. 'and remember the shadows are as important as the light'. dudes. these are private conversations? it would be alright to try it more naturally but they're just not the kind of things you casually say. it's impersonal and there's no intimacy. sit there and watch a kid dance to the sound of a music box. he's so grumpy looking. now snapping at the kid. he's annoying. like a violent dude he feels more like a nice guy quick to snap - definitely kinda unhinged. and now drunk. hmm i don't like it. she told him not to be mean to adele and he rages about her mother, 'you've made adele feel unwanted and unloved' damn this Jane goes for the throat. she's too good for him I can see it now m8. he's a psycho run. red flag red flag. don't like it. lol he wake up like huh.... oh look beds on fire... huh... well suppose i should sort it out... huh... fuck they're barely acting huh. do they even want to be here. how much are these guys getting paid. he's literally a drunk. and has she had a drink in her life? she just went for it? omg so impersonal - isn't he supposed to be already half in love with her by this point? camera angle just flicks forward and back as the conversation goes on and when theres action it just pans back to the widest shot ever lol just show the entire scene why give any emphasis or focus to anything who needs reaction shots and feelings of being in it rather than observing it. fkn ey. he's literally just an angry blitering brooding drunk yikes. he's staring at her tits? these conversations man... he definitely just said jade instead of jane. m8 don't tell me he didn't. there's more intimacy between all the servants and jane and feeling more like an actual squad living together than there is any feeling between rochester and jane. adeles got a frog lol cute. 'you're a fool,' jane tells her reflection. this music is so shit it's bringing everything down. rochester, who's been an unfeeling ass the whole time, holds her hand once and now she's got a big crush on him. she's very spirited - to the point where she could too easily be cruel. like it's not just a repressed forcefulness it's like a hidden rage. can see her going mad and chopping someone up with icy rage and poised pleasure. wonder if i'm in a mood and interpreting this wrong? but honestly. dancing rochester now? instead of singing. adele is glaring at Mrs Ingram who just insulted jane lolol go kid she's definitely the best part. the background people actually make this place feel alive and natural, completely unlike their FUCKING AWFUL conversations. jesus what. god could you have two people less interested in each other? i think this fairfax knows about bertha. there's a 'tapestry bedroom'? lol what does that mean. they're dancing, playing cards, piano, the lot. oh the walls are literally covered in tapestries, that's creepy af. theres so much blood my dude would be dead yo. will hurt like doesn't know how to act. wwait theyve skipped my 'fav scene'?? theyre shaking hands again, wtf is this. wait what shes just met stjohn n he;s the one telling her all about the reeds? petunias dying 'love me then or hate me as you will - you have my full and free forgiveness' - i cant forgive any version that misses that out: its so powerful as part of her character. stalking her while he smokes in the dark what a creeper. 'how cuold you be so stupid!' lol fight him Jane i dont even know how we got to kissing likr the movie is almost 2 hours and yet it feels SO rushed. literally took away all the secret courting and his sneaky declarations. shes a modern woman trapped in an old age. she is so skinny. and with entirely stiff expressions. ew he makes me so uncomfortable. theyre not even trying lol. acting ey acting have u heard of it. just left jane at the altar like bye bitch.shes just in a giant empty ugly room. bertha is a very young and frightened girl but also very sick in the typical long white dress and long dark hair. god this guy is a whingebum. bertha understands everything he's saying. oh yikes lol she just whipped a log from the fire and went after Jane and Jane just put her veil back down with like a sigh turned and yeeted slowly away long ass veil over a white bonnet, silk cape thing in a dark hallway walking all miserable. she's outies lol he's just let her walk out? i love u and i love u. bye. bertha's taken another log from the fire and lit the wedding dress on fire along with the house ahaha. wait he let her leave the house then ran after her on horseback but had to stop after bertha lit the place on fire it started burning and we're actually seeing it happen? interesting. the house is burning, pepople are running, bertha's on the battlements and rochester is going up there to --oh fuck grace poole got yeeted over by bertha oh she's flying ahahaha jumped down to where she threw grace poole. rochesters in the fire. jane's off and racing. it's all happened at once. she went to stjohns, didn't even get dumped in teh marshes but down she goes after chilling in a coach for 3 days. shes been there a month. her jaw is so long and forward its creepy. again one fo the few telling her that she's wealthy from inheritance from her uncle. more backstory. she was deeply loved by her parents, now she's wealthy, lifes looking up but she's all upset after than asshole lol move on and be happy. she's hearing his voice on the wind like please chill. damn 6months. what. um. he's very awkwardly trying to propose? but its like the last half of the conversation with the first bit just cut out. so weird. she looks normal face-on. oh she decides after the proposal to go back - none of that chasing after voices nonsense. whoops that shit burned downnn. doggoooo is still alive. what a good boy. fuck me there's like no anticipation, no intensity, no build-up, no chemistry, it's so dry and cold and heartless. christ acting. act. acting. act. please. act. what is happening. act. she has the neck of a swan ol mate. fucking gross. their words are stilted, and not romantic in the slightest and especially not in their delivery. theyre walking with no kids but the dog but they're talking about the kids. oh my god. that was pretty fkn awful. like seriously not good.

#jane eyre #charlotte bronte #1996 #movies #commentary #review #ramble #shit #ramblingshit #charlotte gainsbourg #william hurt #anna paquin

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esseastri · 6 years

Text

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part last)

I said I’d finish this book before it had been out for a full year, and that’s the 14th, iirc, so I have tonight and tomorrow, but I will finish this book tonight if it kills me, I s2g, I’m ready to be done.

Part 13 encompasses pages 1054-1233 (previous parts)

WE ARE SO CLOSE, GUYS

OH, I wanted to talk a lil bit about the end of part 4, now that I’ve had a sleep and some time to think about it. I still don’t really like it, but I think I can better articulate why.

I feel like a LOT of it is personal preference for Really Not Liking It when my Heroes Turn Out to Have Been Bad Guys All Along. that’s. not fun for me. I don’t find it appealing in any way.

and I know that Brandon is a big fan of his lil ~Sanderlanches~ of emotion, but tbf I think the Recreance bombshell got a little lost in Taravangian’s deluge of bad news. The major impact of that reveal SHOULD have been--yeah, the humans are and have been the aggressors all along. But instead it gets a little undermined and rolled up wholesale into Dalinar Has Been a Bad Before and We Guess He Is Now Too. It feels like it should have been a separate moment for everyone--for ALL the monarchs in the coalition--to realize that...THEY are ALL the bad guys. All of humanity is the bad guys. But it gets overshadowed by their belief that Dalinar has betrayed them and gets dumped squarely on his shoulders so that it’s less about Humanity and more about One Human--who has been our hero for 3,000 pages and now just utterly crashed which is ALREADY upsetting enough without everyone else ignoring THEIR part in it all.

So what I’m saying is that I still feel like the end of part 4 was really badly handled as there should have been two, separate focal moments that got overlapped badly (worldbuilding vs character moments). But I’ve talked to Lisa and Alyx about stuff and I’m a lot chiller with the actual CONTENT of the reveal, and actually looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

tl; dr: feeling better about the content, still very unhappy with the execution.

ANYWAY:

INTERLUDES

“Her people couldn’t be completely gone....could they?” Ah, Venli has reached the Denial stage of grief. that’s. good?

or rather, I suppose...she’s been there all along.

mmmm, I wonder if the different rhythms were created because the Parshendi don’t really do facial expressions, right? like they are crustaceaous, regardless of which form they’re in, so it’s not like shells do a good job at. smiling. Idk, I just wonder if the different hums are bc they don’t really interpret body language the same way humans do.

“The strongest and most skilled of our number are yet to awaken” YOU MEAN THERE’S MORE AND WORSE OF YOU? Great.

You know what I want? An Edgedancer size “novella” about Rysn.

wait, I thought larkins were bad?

aren’t larkins bad?

nvmd, I asked Lisa, they eat stormlight, so Bad For Spren, but not inherently bad. I like having Lisa here to remind me of things I Knew At One Point But Have Since Forgotten Due To Reading So Many Other Things heheh

I love these two Thaylen nERDS

Vstim is a GOOD DAD AAHH

you know, that’s something that’s always sorta bothered me--how do Rosharans go around wearing jewelry that’s giving off enough light to see by? How is that not...overbright and distracting and uncomfortable?

WHOA WHAT

I WAS NOT EXPECTING MURDER

omg the larkin is eating the gemstone that’s been glowing for 200 years, CHIRI-CHIRI NOOO

o_o

right

it makes sense that the voidbringers would have lightweavers, the fused are basically windrunners, but tbh I didn’t think about. you know. evil people that could disguise themselves as ANYTHING #YIKES

yeEAAHH MY GIRL

COME ON BRANDON, GIMME A RYSN ADVENTURE NOVEL. RYSN AND THE LOST TREASURE OF SOMEWHERE-WITH-TOO-MANY-CONSONANTS! PLS.

anyway, on to the main event for the evening: Megan Sobs Her Way Through the Teft Interlude i’m SURE

“the men of Bridge Four would tire of digging him out of trouble” NEVER.

HE HAS A SPREN

SHE’S BEEN THERE A WHILE, APPARENTLY!!??

HELP

uh oh

hold on

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG AT THE BRIDGE FOUR BARRACKS

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG

ABSOLUTELY NOT

WHY ARE THERE BRIDGEMEN WHO ARE BLEEDING

I REFUSE

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF HE KILLS ROCK I AM NOT FINISHING THIS BOOK

I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING

HE KILLED ETH???? AFTER HE KILLED MART IN THE LAST ONE HE HAD TO GO AND KILL OFF THE OTHER BROTHER? FUCK OFF, BRANDON

I’ DON’T WANT THIS

PART FIVE, LET’S GET THIS DOOOONNNE

........there are thirteen, maybe (probably) more POVs in this part?

fuck, Brandon, if I wanted to hop around that much, I’d suck it up and read Martin. Uggghhhhh, I hate this.

HAHA whoops, I didn’t realize it was a flashback chapter and I was like “why is present!Dalinar in a stormWAGON?” and then I realized

“wild chickens range this far east” and I KNOW they mean crows or blackbirds or starlings, but. chickens. is still. such a good worldbuilding note.

“felt both an anxiety to be finished and--at the same time--a reluctance to progress.” B I G M O O D

Brandon: *describes the Nightwatcher* Me, whispering: “yiiiikes”

“What is your boon?” “Forgiveness.” CAN YOU IIIIMAAAAGIIIIINNE

OH SNAP

is that...actually Cultivation?

“I didn’t get what I wanted.” “You got what you deserved.” OOF. OOF. How does fifteen points of damage taste?!

“I control all things that can be grown, nurtured. That includes the thorns.” HM

OKAY

I like her.

HA I WAS RIGHT

EVI WAS THE COST NOT THE BOON. HA

tbqh, I’m still not entirely clear on the boon. I guess...she took away the guilt? or the memories that made the guilt? hm.

HE HAD NEVER DESERVED HER.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA DAMN FUCKING RIGHT, DALINAR. GOD. YUP. AMEN

merrgghhhh pov shits within chapters grumble grumble grumble

oh dear

big battle time.

yaassss

ok, but the army of spren at the Oathgate might be friend spren. have you checked?

I’m still hung up on Kholinar, ngl, someone, for the love of god, tell me if Skar and Drehey are all right. alive. s o m e o n e pls care about these bridgemen as I do.

(and don’t say Kaladin cares, I KNOW HE DOES BUT HE HASN’T MENTIONED THEM IN 200 PAGES/FOUR WEEKS OF TRAVEL TIME, MMKAY?)

heh, Jasnah being all “Amaram’s bad guys can soak up the arrows while the rest of us escape” and usually, I’m very against the lil foot soldiers getting slaughtered for the misdeeds of their commanders, but if people are still following Amaram, they have Bad Priorities and I’m with Jasnah on this one.

I’m confused

Renarin’s spren is weird?

Jasnah thinks he’s a traitor?

I’m??? CONFUSED AND UPSET???

LET! THE BOY! LIVE!

WHICH ONE OF THEM IS CORRUPTED, IS IT JASNAH? MAYBE IT’S JASNAH?

Me: “Maybe it’s Jasnah???? She spent a lot of time in Shadesmar!” Lisa: “Maybe it’s Maybeline.”

She’s rude and I love her.

OH WHAT HOLD UP

VENLI IS IN THE KNIGHTS RADIANT CHAPTER?

or is it just...anyone listed at the beginning can be in any chapter?

SHE IS NOT LISTED SEPARATELY. HO SHIT

WHAT

YEAH THAT’S THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME: The fused just. sending in regular parshendi parshmen signers whATEVER TO FIGHT. THEY DON’T HAVE TRAINING. THEY’RE GOING TO GET MASSACRED. THAT’S NOT! GOOD! MILITARY! STRATEGY!

ugh, I’m still just. mad about the Recreance reveal.

The humans are the bad guys, fine. But the FUSED ARE DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY NOT THE GOOD GUYS??? so what was the point?

SEE SHIT LIKE THIS: “You are here to do as you’re told. In return, you are rewarded with further opportunities to serve.” what the fuuuuuuucckk

like, they’re still BAD GUYS

Here’s the thing--the Recreance reveal doesn’t really change anything. The human heroes are still going to choose the options that are “good” or “right”--Dalinar was already suing for peace, Kaladin was already making friends with the listeners--so saying “these humans in the past were evil” doesn’t change their choices. It doesn’t change the Fused’s choices either--saying “these guys were good in the past” doesn’t make them good guys now--OBVIOUSLY, just look at that dialogue.

So why bother?

The whole series is about choosing to be better, to do better, but the characters were ALREADY DOING THAT, they didn’t need an extra, super depressing motivator to do that. It’s just there to....reinforce the idea? That’s already pretty solid?

idk, I’m still REALLY struggling with this

sigh

back to Venli

so, Odium can CHOOSE what he looks like when he appears--obviously he doesn’t REALLY look like a parshendi, bc he’s not actually their god. If the humans were the voidbringers originally, then he’s theirs, no?

also, # y i k e s, there he is

TEFT IS IN THE RADIANT POV HELL YAH

“You don’t want me. I’m broken.” YES, DARLING, THAT’S THE POINT.

I love him so much I just want to hug this sad uncle of mine

AAAHHH FUCK THE KHOLINAR GATE

WAIT, MAYBE SKAR AND DREHY WILL SHOW UP FUKIN FINALLY

“This is winnable” IS IT THO

BECAUSE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE IN THIS BOOK HAS BEEN AND AIN’T THAT JUST FUCKING DEPRESSING

oh fun! the thing from the cover! finally!

Here’s the thing: three years ago, I would have loved this book. Three years ago, overwhelming odds and impossible battles and the downward, angst slide of all my favorite characters would have been SO MUCH FUN to read. But now? This year? I’m fucking over it. I’m done. Give me optimism or give me death.

I’m exhausted enough in the real world, I don’t need to be exhausted by the books I’m reading.

“You mind holds firm” UH HUH SURE. P SURE NONE OF THE FUSED ARE SANE, bUT THAt’S FINe

“Could he defeat six? Did he need to?” THE IMPLICATION THAT: IF HE NEEDS TO, OF COURSE HE CAN. I’M LOVE KALADIN SO! MUCH!

DO WE FINALLY GET TO STAB AMARAM!!!!!!!????? FINALLY!!!

DOES KALADIN GET TO KILL HIM? BECAUSE I WILL BE REALLY, REALLY MAD IF KALADIN DOESN’T GET TO KILL HIM

OMG I’M SO HERE FOR THIS

MY BOY

KALADIN RECOGNIZING HIS PROGRESS AND KNOWING THAT HE’S GOT SYL AND BRIDGE FOUR, AND PURPOSE AND THAT HE’S GONNA STAY ALIVE FOR THEM, FOR IT. THAT EVEN THO LIFE SUCKS HE’S GONNA STICK AROUND BC THERE’S GOOD PARTS TOO. KALADIN REALIZING HE’S STRONG AND STRONGER WITH HIS PEOPLE. I’M SO

MY HEART IS SO FULL AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

OOOHHH NOO THAT”S HOT

where’s my Kaladin alone in combat stance facing down 6 fused and GLOWING ART BC I NEEEEEEDD IITTT

my soul

I love him

my soul

You know what? Kaladin never gets the Thrill. I bet it’s because he’s too good for this world.

ahhh fuck they got the thing

at least Rysn and Vstim are still alive! for now.

why do they want the thing tho

whose heart is it

WORRIED ABOUT RENARIN 2K18

heheheh Pattern, “I do not like being stabbed” no, you are usually doing the stabbing, huh? heheh

ADOLIN KISS SHALLAN! ! AHH!! YAY!!!

SOFT BEFORE BATTLE THIS GOOD

god, yup. “Um, hello.” SPEAKING TO THE OATHGATE SPREN WOULD BE SO SCARY

the Argonath spren. Oathgonath? Argonoath? Argonoath. heh

I’ll take Bad Lord of the Rings Puns for 300, Alex

COME ON, VENLI. SPEAK ME SOME WORDS, GIRL.

Oh hey it’s Gawx! Wacky fun.

aahhh shit, it WOULD look like the Alethi were betraying everyone else for real. SIGH.

come on, Lift, get them to help. come on, come on, come on

can we unforbid it? esp since Honor is fucking dead and doesn’t care what’s forbidden or not?

“A man can rule his lands until the citylord demands his taxes. The citylord controls his lands until the highlord, in turn, comes to him for payment. But the highlord must answer to the highprince, when war is called in his lands. And the king? He...must answer to God.” BUT DARKNESS--WHAT IS GOD TO A NON-BELIEVER?

“Don’t be stupid. Let’s go fight those guys.” AMEN, NIGHTBLOOD.

“But it had always been nothing more than a rock.” YEEEESSSS OMG. SZETH!!! FINALLY UNDERSTANDING.

KALADIN NO

goddamnit

UH??? WHY IS NAVANI POV IN THE RADIANTS CHAPTER???? BRANDON??? WHAT DO I NOT KNOW?

Dalinar continues to be an extra son of a bitch, and I love him.

ok, I’m betting it’s just anyone’s POV can be in any chapter, ‘cause the symbol hasn’t changed. so nevermind. I retract my questions about Venli and Navani.

HI LIFT

I LOVE YOU

“Did you forget to feed them?” I’VE MISSED HER WHY ISN’T SHE IN ALL THE CHAPTERS

“Wyndle doesn’t like hurting people” I !!!! LOVE! THEM!

PLS BE CAREFUL ADOLIN AAAHH

NO???

NOOOOOOOOO??

DON’T?? STAB THE SUNSHINE BOY????

I’M?

his sord

swor

d aah

she protec hiom

uuuuuhhhhjfghmgdh

hmfzngrsmkdc

oh snap hold on

Hello Darkness is gonna swap sides? Not that he was really ever on our side, but like. “will make the transition to obeying the Dawnsigners easier” OBEYING? I’m.

that’s Not Great.

“Leave me”? ????? EXCUSE?? NO!!!?? ABSOLUTELY NOT, SUNSHINE BOY, WTF

he has more words

WORDS

GASP

AAHH

LISTEN, DALINAR, ADOLIN IS THE DUELLING BOY. IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A CHAMPION FOR A ONE-ON-ONE DUEL. YOU NEED ADOLIN. AND HE’S BUSY BEING STABBED AND ALSO NOT HERE AND I’M

YELLING

UNEXPECTED SZETH FALLING FROM THE SKY TO SAVE LIFT??? I’M HERE FOR IT

oohh szeth. honey bunches of oats. one day--one day--you will realize that you don’t actually need a master. and you will become something more.

even if you’ve picked dalinar as your new master, which is good, bc following good men is better than bad ones, buT STILL

also, how come we didn’t get to hear his Words??? I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE WORDS. BAD POV SWITCH MADE ME MISS OUT ON SKYBREAKER IDEALS. BOO.

UGH, STAB HIM, NAVANI

ah. ShalASH, got it

there’s Too Much going on, tbqh.

*quietest of wimpers*: taln

help

aahhh darnit, ok. it IS Renarin that’s corrupted. someone PLS let this boy have, like, A MOMENT of peace

oh for fuck’s sake

Let Dalinar fucking have a moment

COME ON

HE’S THE G O O D G U Y, PLS

I’m suffering

RESIST, DALINAR

AAHH

genuinely don’t think you should just be waving Nightblood around

sheathe that motherfucker

pls

also, if Szeth said his words, shouldn’t he have bonded a spren? Doesn’t have have a sprensword? so maybe he....could stop? using Nightblood?

somebody help Taln, I AM TOO FAR AWAY TO HUG HIM PLS HUG HIM

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T USE NIGHTBLOOD

JUST SAYIN’

BLESS NAVANI. SHE HAS INVENTED THE TAZER

or possibly weaponized the Cruciatas Curse, but EITHER WAY: NICE.

“Dalinar pulled the Way of Kings close to his chest, clutching it like a child with his blanket at night” MOOD ALSO SAME I FEEL THIS ABOUT MY COPY, TOO

STOP KILLING BRIDGE FOUR

I WILL YELL AT YOU, BRANDON

I WILL SEE YOU ON THURSDAY AND I WILL YELL AT YOU

“Dalinar Kholin is no more” UH HUH, SURE

That would be boring. We’ve already seen the Blackthorn. It’s boring unless we get something new.

fuck off amaram

gross? not recommended.

don’t swallow foreign objects

something GOOD HAS TO HAPPEN SOON OR I’M GONNA FUCKING SCREAM

I’M TIRED GIVE ME HOPE

IT’S BEEN, LIKE, 300 PAGES SINCE ANYTHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED

BRIDGE FOUR KEEPS DYING, ADOLIN GOT STABBED, DALINAR IS BEING TORTURED, FOR FUCK’S SAKE C O M E O N

(purposely forgeting Lift showing up and Navani tazing people in her assessment of how many pages it’s been since good things have happened)

NO FUCKING SHIT, KIDDO!!! THE FUTURE IS MALLEABLE!!! IT CHANGES!! OF COURSE IT CAN BE WRONG

duh

even I had that wrong--the NEXT step, not the first

GOOD

STAND UP

AAAAHHH

“If I didn’t do those things, it means that I can’t have grown to become someone else.” AND YOU DID! YOU DID GROW! LOOK AT YOU! FINALLY YOU ARE REALIZING IT ONLY TOOK 3FUCKINGTHOUSAND PAGES AAAHHH

YAAAS

YOU’RE MY FAMILY

AAAHH

GOOD SOFT JASNAH!!! NOT A THING I EXPECTED BUT HERE WE ARE

“Maybe it’s time for someone to save you.” *MEEP*

hel p

that’s intense

AAAHHHH

EVI IS A GOOD AND I LOVE HER AND SHE DESERVED BETTER ALSO SOFT AND GOOD AAHH

# yikes

but like, a good yikes

yeah, you fucking better apologize to him

Taln deserves an apology form every single person on this planet, and that includes all the Heralds, and the Heralds owe him, like, a hundredbajillion apologies extra

I have emotions

and opinions

HE’S SO GOOD

AND SOFT

MY GODSON

OH MY GOD

OHHHH MYY GOOODDDDDD

HE’S SO GOOD

oh no I love him so much

TEEEEFFT

FINALLY

YES

GOOD WORDS I’M CRYING OH NO

HE’S

SO MUCH

all my soft boys

best boys

dominoes with crystal transformation? MORE GOOD YIKES

YEESSSSS

KALADIN!!!!!

FUCKFACE!!!

HERE WE GO

LOOK KALADIN, YOU DID SAVE HIM!!! YOU PUT THE SYLSPEAR IN JUST THE RIGHT PLACE TO BLOCK THE SWORD AND YOU DID SAVE DALINAR, LOOK AT YOU

NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STAB THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF AMARAM

STAND UP AND DO BETTER

LOOK IT’S WHAT i’VE BEEN SAYING THE WHOLE TIME

yes good, heal Adolin, thank you

GOD FUCKING BLESS

LITERAL ORDERS TO STAB THE FUCKFACE

THANK YOU

ofuck he did swallow it

Not Great

every time Adolin talks to his sword, my heart leaps. he actually apologizes and also thanks her and I just! want her to know! how much he loves and appreciates her!

WAKE UP, SWORD! MAKE HIM RADIANT!

COME ON

FUCKING

YOU ABSOLUTE HOOKWORM I CANNOT BELIEVE

TWO SHARDBLADES. OF FUCKING COURSE HE NEVER GOT RID OF KALADIN’S. FUCKING

PIECE OF

ROTTEN SHIT I’m. hate him.

much

ooohh Shallan!!!!!! I’m proud of her!! She’d created them to be strong when she wasn’t but she doesn’t need them now aahh!!

OH HEY, FEN’S SON DOES HAVE A NAME and it’s a garbage Thaylen name. Kdralk? all right then

“Life could not be lived making decisions at each juncture.” Szeth.... Szeth that’s. that’s...exactly what life is??? That’s. how you do, actually, live life? I’m ???? ??

‘at the top, they found a jumble of Sadeas troops chipping at a door with hand axes. “I can probably get through that a little easier.”’ HEHEHEH

Lov me a sunshine boy

GOD FINALLY

LET! NAVANI! GRIEVE! THANK YOU

ADOLIN IS SUCH A GOOD COMMANDER, GOD

EXCELLENT TACTICS

I’M SO PLEASED

It’s very satisfying to get Kaladin fighting Amaram and Dalinar fighting the thrill Unmade at the same time

fINALLY something SATISFYINg in this book

listen, I love having the visual of Jasnah’s effortless airsteps from the cover, but I’m still REALLY Disappointed that the covers don’t match up with the flashback character.

It’s Dalinar’s book, it should be Dalinar on the cover, but WHATEVER, WHELAN, ugh.

THANKS FOR ALL THE BROKEN BONES, I HATE IT

It’s never fair when the bad guy brings so many friends to the party.

SHE FINALLY HAS A NAME YES

MAYA IS A GOOD SWORD AND I LOVE HER

eeyyyy GOOD JOB, VENLI!!!

PETITION FOR SUNSHINE BOY TO STOP GETTING HURT

ngl, his is the battle I’m actually most invested in rn, other than Kaladin, I just.

want him to be okay

“half expecting Skar and Drehy to be there to pull him to his feet. Storms, he missed those bridgemen.” ME FUCKING TOO, ADOLIN. WHERE ARE THEY ARE THEY OKAY

AAHH!! Renarin gets to protect Adolin THAT’S SO NICE GOOD

I ADORE that Lift and Dalinar are besties. It’s the BEST dynamic, such an interesting combo, and I LOVE IT.

“Amaram was screaming in pain.” GOOD.

WONDERFUL. AMAZING.

BRILLIANT.

FRAME IT.

Overconfident fuckface took his own helmet off, bless hiS HEART

“I hurt, once...after I killed your squad, I hurt.” OH BOO HOO, POOR BABY FELT A TWINGE OF GUILT FOR A HOT SECOND I DON’T FEEL BAD FOR YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKWEASEL

oh, gross

thanks

THE SPEAR THAT DOESN’T BREAK AAAHHHHHH MY SOUL

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WE WERE SO CLOSE

it’s ok, we just need one more good solid hit on that gemheart and we’re DONE WITH THIS LOSER

A DOZEN

RENARIN CAN’T FIGHT A FULL DOZEN BY HIMSELF? OH MY GOD

not good

uugghh fuck Malata, I DON’T TRUST HER

Renarin is very brave. A Good.

OH WAIT, TEFT CAN OPEN THE OATHGATE

YAAASSS

YAAAAAAAASSSS

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASASSSSSSSSSSSSS

I’M SO HAPPY

TEFT OPENED THE OATHGATE

LOOK AT MY BOYS

*SCREAMING CONTINUES*

PHEW ROCK IS ALIVE, I CAN KEEP READING

“YOU LOOKED LIKE PERSON WHO NEEDED HUG” ROCK IS THE BEST I LOVE ROCK I’VE MISSED HIM SO MUCH

Oh right, Dalinar’s still, like. doing stuff. I forgot, ‘cause it’s. Nothing’s happening with it.

Should be focal, but there’s. So much going on.

COME ON, KALADIN, YOU’VE GOT WORDS WEIGHING DOWN YOUR TONGUE.

COME ON, DARLING, PLEASE.

ok that’s acceptable

not ideal

but beautiful

a good, solid Rock.

I will accept this end.

Bridge Four is so, so, so important, I cannot express in words.

oh, quiet screaming:

Moash chapter

oooohhhh buddy

One day, you’ll wake up.

Until then, my very garbage brain will write fic, and it will be glorious.

how do people not ship this

he literally helped her remember herself

he recognized her in her sea of selves and pulled her out, cOME ON

THIS IS THE SOFTEST OF SHIPS AND I’M CRYING

AAHH VENLI!! PROGRESS!!! also what order, I must know

whoo Braize IS Damnation, called that shit, like, a book and a half ago.

“only Ishar survived with his mind intact” A RE Y O U V RE Y SU RE AB T T H A T? ???

oh. those are boring Words, but okay. makes sense, the Skybreakers are kinda. Meh.

ugh, we still have to deal with Hello Darkness My Old Friend? He’s going to come oversee training? ugh.

BEST KISS BEST KISS BEST KISS

OTP: NO MATING

OTP

BEST

KISS

YES

“You mentioned something about kissing me until I can’t breathe, but here I am, not even winded--”

B E S T K I S S BEST BEST BEST KISS

“I don’t think I loved her, Syl. I felt...something. A lightening of my burdens...” THE FEELING WAS FRIENDSHIP BUT NEITHER OF THEM HAD EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE.

“I knew you’d come for me.” brb crying forever

I don’t know if you know this, but I really love Bridge Four.

“We lift the bridge together, Teft. And we carry it.”

[cries quietly into that sentence for the rest of eternity]

TARAVANGIAN IS LITERALLY CONFESSING, BUT WHO WANTS TO BET DALINAR FORGIVES HIM AND STILL TRUSTS HIM

i s2g, Dalinar’s pure goodness is going to be the thing that kills him, in the end.

MOASH WHAT THE FUCK

JEZRIEN

I KNEW Ahu was a Herald, HA, but JEZRIEN HOLY FUCK

actually dead or just bound in the sapphire bc it IS glowing, so. hm.

god

Moash, plllleeeaasseeeeeeeee ugh

ahhh YAY LOPEN!!!

but it. should have been Moash. It was always supposed to be Teft and Moash and Skar and Rock.

And I love Lopen, really, I do. b ut.

I’m also:

~*~GARBAGE~*~

mmmmm ACTUAL FATHER? OR? HMM

I’M WORRIED ABOUT MY ANCIECT GODCHILDREN OKAY? HELP THEM.

OH THANK FUCK

SKAR AND DREHY ARE OKAY

SKAR AND DREHY PROTECT THOSE WHO CANNOT PROTECT THEMSELVES!!!!????

THAT’S!!!! THEY DID THE THING???!!! THEY’VE GOT THE WORDS!!!

LOOK AT MY BOYS GO! LOOK AT THEM ALL!!

TEFT AND LOPEN AND SKAR AND DREHY!!!!

I’M SO PLEASED

oh yeah they saved the kid that’s good

LOOK! AT! MY! BOYS!!!!!

Taravangian might be the ONLY fictional grandpa that I dislike

I always like the grandpas.

but noT THIS ONE

by becoming king of the world and then asking odium to spare everyone he ruled, he was going to save everyone.

Not

actually a bad plan

Not a great one, obviously. but. not a terrible one.

Too bad it was NEVER GOING TO WORK

oh fuck off, he stole the Honorblade, which means Malata probably killed Eth, so GOOD NOW I HAVE A SOLID, CONCRETE REASON TO HATE HER, GOOD.

“Why would [Taravangian] work with the enemy? Everything he’s done so far has been to secure a safe Roshar--if through brutal means. Still, I have to wonder. I can’t afford to be too trusting.” I CAN’T BE TOO TRUSTING, EXCEPT TARAVANGIAN, I’LL DEF TRUST HIM OF COURSE, Dalinar, pLEASE

I’m dying, you gotta. ugh

he’s EVIL COME ON

ppppssssssst

*put Jasnah on the throne*

we need someone who’s good at diplomancy, who can inspire people and command them! GEE WHO’VE WE GOT WHO CAN DO ALL THOSE THINGS AND LOOK SHARP AF DOING IT?

I W ON D E R

oh holy shit, they actually did it

they actually did put Jasnah in charge

holy fuck

YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

EXCELLENT

really moash

the stolen honorblade

HE WHO QUIETS --admittedly a great assassin epithet, but

Mooooooaaaaaaaassshhh

S I G H

okay, so we figured out that Sja-anat is anti-odium, that’s good. but HOW do we know that Renarin bonded one of her spren? just...’cause it’s corrupted and that’s what she does? or did I miss something more specific?

oh huh

cool

OH!, he went to get Elhokar’s baby spren. interesting.

does that make Wit a Radiant? ‘cause I bet that’s not going to go over well heheheheh

WHOOOOOO I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Defo not my favorite, but it did pick up at the end there. Part 3 was A TRIP that I enjoyed and I’m still pumped that Bridge Four got 1. POVs and 2. SPREN that was really nice. I’m ~*~GARBAGE~*~ and there was some good garbage Moash content, so I loved that. The roadtrip was Sure A Thing. I love my sunshine boy, Adolin Kholin with all my heart. Aaaaand I’ll circle back to Part 4 and the beginning of Part 5 when it’s NOT 4am!

#op #megan reads ob #Oathbringer #Stormlight Archive #PHEEEWWWW #LONG #SOME GOOD STUFF SOME BAD STUFF #tldr: not my fave book but had some Good Things #and now I'm going to bed #phew #god this post is so so long #SORRY MOBILE USERS

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bookswithgracie · 6 years

Text

Empire of Storms Notes pt1

SPOILERS AHEAD

C# = chapter number

C1- so Aelin is gonna have some stupid destructive plan and Dorian will die

Lorcan and Elide?... I’ll allow it

C2- the kids are gettin spicy

When will they realize they’re ACTUALLY mates

Who knew “I trust you” could be so sexy

What a badass image of them around the fire

C3- EW I hate Vernon SO MUCH

Matron has got2go

I’m so curious how the Manon+Dorian dynamic will be

LOL this idiot @Erawan

C4- I love Lysandra

Prince Rowan is actually your m8 beesh

When Lys got all puffed up over “sister”... I’m cry

Darrow makes me physically nauseous

C5- yep yep yep I want his head on a stick

I’m scream, why are you separating again!?

Aelin making a blood oath: no no, if they want to play ball, let’s fukin play ball

C6- Manon, don't scare my baby boi like that

Yes sis! Protect our boy!!

C7- my sweet and savage magic boy

Yes Manon! Save your mans!!

In this house we “get up”

Rowan! My nasty son!

Well fuck me

C9- I resent Elide for being weak but I am too

lol he has a fake key and she has the real one... oh no

C10- Ok I take it back, Elide can stay

C11- Manon is the Coolest

Petra is cool too but I sense her death coming

I audibly gasped. Not Asterian, no no no

C13- Even Dorian knows your mates idiot

Just two guys bein dudes

C14- I think Lysandra&Aedion might be my my Top Ship

This bitch just burned him alive I love her what an Icon™️

C15- well fuck

C17- I am stresst for my girl Asterian

HOLY FUCK YES MANON

C18- I knew it hell yeah my fav

C19- HA I love Elide&Lorcan but I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him

Elide is Very Good. Keep that shit tight sis

C20- My Strong Son and my Good Boy bein pals❤️ I love

C21- Rolfe gives me strong Chaotic Gay vibes

C22- Trap trap trap trap it’s a trap

C27- oh sister SNAPPED

“One does not deal with (her). One survives her.”

My girls are absolute Icons. Queens of The Drama

C28- Manon is living in 3017 way ahead of you sis

C29- kick his ass Lys

C32- I love Dorian So Much DEAR LORD

Aedion&Lys deserve happiness together and nothing less

C34- Aww beans. We really out here bois

C35- what a literal Power Couple dear lord

Could anything go well? Just once??

C37- @ the guy chanting “oh shit”, me too

Yes Dorian! A very Good and Powerful boy

Go getcha lady Aedion

I am both screaming and crying. A ship I’d die for

C38- Love he said it omg yeah babeyyyy

“Never underestimate the power of insufferable swagger”

Beeeeeeeetch she said it too

Sarahhhh sister dang get it

She really sister went for it ok

C39- I’m wholly convinced that they’re mates

“Enjoy your ride?” TEA SIS

I swon to john, if Dorian sacrifices himself

MANON!

Pt 2 xxx

#empire of storms #tog #throne of glass #sarah j maas #kingdom of ash #aelin ashryver #book notes #grace notes

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galacticafterdark · 6 years

Text

Request: Strade/Reader + getting rid of Ren

Thanks for requesting this! This fic is a non-canon new ending to the game where Strade actually gets rid of Ren when he keeps you. I thought this was a really interesting concept and had a lot of fun writing it!

WARNINGS: This fic has kidnapping and implied murder and all that fun stuff that goes along with BTD. Dont read this fic to hurt yourself or if you are a minor.

Strade and Ren belong to @gatobob/ @gurobob (I am so sorry gato please forgive me)

Commission Info

Hi my name is MC I have short ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips and icy gray eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Sid (AN: if you don’t know who that is, GET OUT OF HERE). I’m not related to Raven in any way but I wish I were because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. My skin is pale and ashy too. I’m also an alcoholic college student, and I go to a school in Canada that fucking sucks because I get shitty grades even tho Im REALLY smart. I’m of legal drinking age, I’m goth (in case you can’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a My Chemical Romance T-shirt (AN: there my favvveeeee in the hole world) black ripped skinny jeans with bright red fishnets underneath, and black combat boots. I was also wearing black lipstick and black eyeliner and red eyeshadow. I was walking outside The Braying Mule and it was raining and snowing (bc it always fucking snows in canada it’s so fucking stupid) and there was no sun which I was super happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them.

“Hey MC!” A voice yelled at me. It was… Strade Boyfriendtodeath! (AN: only true fans know that Strade has no last name, like Beyonce (because hes famous) so if you didnt know that get the fuk out of here)

“What’s up Strade?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just wanted to buy you a beer because your My Chemical Romance T-shirt is so cool” He said. (AN: AAAAA Strade knows MCR!!!!! Gato take notes this is what real character design looks like you gotta make sure they like the best band of all time or else theyre shite)

“That’s like super awesome of you thanks.” I said.

“Hey do you want to get out of here?” He asked. I looked him up and down. He had on combat boots (like me!!! omg!) and he had like really gross cargo pants on and a weird shirt with some sort of pattern on the sleeve, which made him look kind of like a prep but like I also know that Strade is awesome and not a prep so I decided to look past that. He had super greasy hair that was pretty wavy and went down to his shoulders and he also had really fucking patchy facial hair and a scar on his jaw (omg scars are so fukin hot I love strade so much). All in all I gave him like a 1/10 because hes fucking gross but he was the first person so talk to me that night so I said……

“Yes!”

So then Strade took me to his super expensive car and he opened the door for me (what a gentleman) and when he closed it I realized there was no handle!!?!?!!! (oh noes what will I do now :3333)

“Hey Strade what the fuck why is there no handle.” I yelled.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said and then he hit my head and I couldn’t even bite him with my vampire fangs in time so I just fell unconscious.

I woke up and I was tied up (ooh kinky) and none of my clothes had been taken off except my jeans had been ripped a little bit more (probably from being dragged around or something) but it’s ok because I looked even more goth with the really ripped jeans. I was like super confused when I woke up and the basement smelled like blood which made me really hungry (because I’m a vampire). Strade walked down the stairs and I frowned at him.

“Ren had better not be in the house because he’s a fuckin prep and I hate preps.” I said.

Strade looked shocked. “You know what, you’re right.” He said. “Ren is a prep and I also hate preps so I’m going to get rid of Ren and you will be my new pet!!!”

I smiled super big but then I stopped smiling because I’m goth and we don’t smile but I was smiling on the inside because I was so happy that Strade decided he would keep me instead of Ren.

Anyways Strade and I got married after he got rid of Ren and we lived happily ever after killing people together with my vampire powers and his greasy powers the end.

I am so so so sorry for this. April fools guys!! Here’s the link to my immortal (here), which I basically copied to make this fic so horrible.

#boyfriend to death #btd #strade #btd strade #strade boyfriendtodeath #I would like to personally apologize #for this fic #sorry #mywriting #shitpost

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lifeistrash13 · 6 years

Note

8. Describe your crushperfect in any fukin way, her eyes are green, but like a special green, idk how to describe it, and she has OVER 100 FRECKLES and das so cute, and her hair is long and curly and soft and smels nice and i love it, but i hate it when it covers her face or skin, ah and her lips are so sweet and pink and nice and kissable and i love them... AND OMG HER SMILE IS SO BEAUTIFUL when she smiles it brighten my day, also her laugh is ao cute and ajsbsjdbdbd i just aaaaaaaaaa love her so much, oh also her hand fits so well in mine and she is perfectly in my arms.... and shes taller than me and she s so random and i love it, and it.s so fun being near her ajsbsjxbjxbx i could go all night but i have to sleep

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bienmoreau · 6 years

Text

The Dork Reads The Lightning-Struck Heart: Chapter 19 - End.

@lio-zehel and @glitterghost (spoilers obviously) :)

19/20

It was called ‘Dear Brother-Uncle-Father. An Ode to the Furry Depths of my Feeling for Your Personage’

LMAAAOOO THE SUPER FUKING AWKWARD TRUTH POTION NONSENSE

So very impressed and uncomfortable @ how they just made talking abt magic THAT pornographic. JESUS Ryan is such a mess. Jfc. Also. Magic kink? Sure. Why not. After all of this. Why not that.

How to face off against a dragon by Sam of Wilds Yell “COME AT ME BRO” And then punch the dragon in the eye.

Why does the dragon wanna fuck him. Why does everything wanna fuck him.

Omfg wait was that an og Mario reference??

Omg the dragon chases sheep ‘cause he likes the noise they make when they run around and scream

“Once you go dragon all the rest are laggin’.

”lmaaaooo is justin cohabiting with the gdamn dragon :laughing::laughing:

“Heeeeeyyy buddy. You doing good? You look good.. for being kidnapped” PHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA “Heeeeyy buddy, you look alive. That just super”

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” “Well that’s certainly not true sam” “You’re a wizard, you deserve to be on fire”

HA! The dragons in love with Justin 😆 😆

Also! Fukin. KEVIN! PHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Also also. Side note. Beast from the east is the name we here in the uk gave to the really annoying recurring cold weather we had earlier this year 😆 😂

JFC. NO. KEVIN NEEDS TO NOT CALL JUSTIN BABY AND BRIGHT EYES AND ALL THE REST OF THAT JFC. WHY.

“He’s very sexually aggressive, I don’t think you should sleep with him” “STOP COCK BLOCKING ME”

LMAO OMG Gary letting himself be a horse

What kinda shrek dragon/donkey nonsense

Well this all became a pretty big downer real quick

That is just not at all the kind of conversation you want to have with/hear your parents having. Also yes, Why does the king feel the need to state that he wants a three way with them

“We can’t just kill people” “They were holding us prisoner” “That doesn’t make it right” “What about Moishe?” “I’ll kill him!”

“You’re not my knight in shining armour you’re a dick in dented tin” (Or. Perfect things to say to creepy guys who come on way to strong/have the whole male saviour bullshit going)

:( :( :( vaguely sad confessions are no fun at all.

“I will never be anyone’s second choice. I will never be second best to somebody I love” Bruh that’s so fukin real.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa they kissed!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ✨✨✨✨🎉🎉🎉 ✨✨✨✨

“I’ve seen *huge list of really impressive sounding shit*. I have seen many many things but I have never seen anyone look at another the way your knight looks at you”

“Sam, everyone knew. Everyone!” FUKIN CALL HIM OUT GARY

“I thank myself when I come” Jfc. Why sam why. Please never get drunk again.

Gary and Kevin. Are. Making me uncomfortable. So very very very unnecessarily explicitly gratuitous NO. NO YOU DO NOT USE YOUR FRIENDS NAME IN THAT WAY. NO! NOT OKAY. 4. Hours. Fukin. NO! Anyways I would FULLY disown someone for subjecting me to less than that. Sam is a champion on loyalty and is braver than any marine.

I kinda hate this tbh. Like. It’s just weird and vaguely gross and I’m kinda uncomfortable.

“It’s still monologuing when you do it on someone else’s behalf”

So. Gross.

Morgan is so soft. Gdamn.

Also lmao. Kevin is an attention whore.

“Bask in me”

“I feel like we failed as parents.”

“Naaahh look at him. He’s adorable and knows how to put on his own pants”

Lmao sam ignoring ryan is such classic move. ‘The awesome power of ‘The ‘Blank’

Randal is Kevin’s hero. That is not a good thing.

Aww super protective Ryan despite it all. Dear boy has so little chill when it comes to sam.

Also. Them just casually openly flirting is so funny

Also. Randal calling this shit for what it is. “Are they always like this” 😂 😂 😂

Also I love Pete and that the other knights are just like “lol nope. Not my pig. Not my farm” and this whole situation

PHHAHAHAHAHA OMG TJ REPEATED THE SEX&BABY BOOK JOKE FROM IN HOW TO BE NORMAL

As much as I hate the whole Kevin making himself Sams stepdad. It did at least lead to Ryan dropping a long sword on his foot.

Lmao poor stalker Ryan. He’s so useless.

Omg. He ran away from his own bachelor party to hide/stalk sam.

“That’s weird”

“You make me weird”

“Were there strippers? Strippers also make things weird”

YES THEN SAMS DAD. SERVE THESE IDIOTS THAT TEA.

“See when you say it like that it makes me start to regret my life choices”

Fukin emotional bois.

Omfg. Unicorn perm. LIO PLEASE DRAW THE UNICORN PERM!

Hahahahaha omg Randal calling back to the pimp joke at the perfect moment 👌 👌 👌 👌

Handsome Ryan is handsome and devastating.

“Haha. Yes my mind is in pieces”

YES RYAN! FINALLY FOUND YOUR FUKING BALLS!

And that’s- when a group of dark wizards broke into the throne room.

Because of course.

Phahahaa YES RANDAL. love that call back! keep it going you ancient weirdo

Okay. Like I’m not a fan of sex scenes but that was soft and sweet and so very tame compared to some of the nonsense the other characters have come out with so far.

ALSO! EPILOGUE:

why on earth are Sam and Justin on a mission together!??

And Ayy sassy Justin :laughing: is this the redemption arch beginning?

Aww best friend in training is such a demeaning title for a prince 😂 😂 😂

Also. Lmao that was such a romantic proposal sam. Well done.

Aaannnnndd IM DONE!

#please let me know is the read more is working!#the dork reads tlsh #the dork reads #random chatter

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roadway2hope · 3 years

Text

If this is the person you had in you all alone. I feel so bad for me ! I thought I picked a good one for once. And I feel so bad for you because even in you you can't be true to yourself. If its because the drugs this is petty and u will never forgive you. And no matter what the reason I'm never going to forgive you. You said one thing did another, how was I so blind that this was happening again. Of course u left the state, so much easier ALWAYS TO FUKIN RUN. I HATE YOU... u suffer the way u always have because u are paying the price of being the person that u are the lies omg how many lied fid u make me. Omg. I'm so fukin stupid.

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seventeen-scenarios-blog · 7 years

Text

Shit the admins say during DE in Singapore

Diamond Edge in SG was 2 weeks ago but we admins finally got ourselves together to watch our fancams/listen to the audio we recorded, and we noticed that we do say a lot of rubbish, so here’s a list of the nonsense we said during the concert!

Just a quick background: Admin Hoshit and Jihooned were sitting together and Admin Wooed and Scooped were sitting together!

Our hi-touch and Diamond Edge confessions

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD (also setlist may not be accurate)

**please excuse our singlish

PRECONCERT

Jihooned: I’ll hold the Joshua banner cause it won’t break

Hoshit: “what if my bong runs out of batteries and i gotta change during a song lmao wouldn’t that be funny” (HAH FORESHADOWING HAH)

Jihooned: our bongs damn noisy

/Jihoon and Hoshit could not decide between their biases and so chose to buy multiple straps/ the clanking of the bong bongs can be heard all the way from VIP to cat 4

Jun sexily walks up

Scooped & Wooed: “eh who that” “idk” “can’t see leh”

“OH FK” “ITS JUN OMGGG KJDFHALKSJDFHK”

Hoshit and Jihooned: “who’s that ah cannot see”

Jihooned: “is that wonwoo?”

Hoshit and jihooned after realising it’s Jun: “omg jun jun juN jUN JUN JUN JUN JUN”

Junnie: RIP, Birth - 29 Sept 2017 8:12PM. “Jun is beautiful.”

PRETTY U

Jihooned: “SEOKMINNNNNNNNNNN”

Hoshit: “SEVENTEEN SARANGHAE YEPPEUDA”

/Seungkwan’s 4 octave note, Hoshit really loses it, “BOOOOOOOOO SLAYYYYYYY BOOOOOOOOOO”

BEAUTIFUL

Jihooned: If my eyes were a camera, the only thing you’ll see is Seokmin

Hoshit: “look at soonyoung he’s so dumb why do i stan hi- LOOK AT JIHOON HE IS SO DUMB WHY DO I STAN HIM”

ADORE U

Jihooned: I’m tired already

Hoshit: “I’ve been tired since Beautiful, it’s my third time swapping my shake-bong-hand” (wasn’t adore u the 3rd song)

Jihooned and Hoshit; awkward silence: “we are two songs in” “yeah we’re dead”

STILL LONELY

Jihooned aggresively hits Hoshit: THEY DOING BACKPACK DANCE

Hoshit: “I STAN LOSERS”

AJU NICE

/Jihoon appears for his part, parts Seventeen like Moses parting the Red Sea, Hoshit: “FUUUUUUUUUUU- JIHOOOOOOO-” /gets hit repeatedly by Jihooned

SWIMMING FOOL

Scooped: /Zooms in camera/ “WHAt are yOU DOIng on the flOORRrRRrrR?”

Jihooned: /shrieks at chan/

Hoshit: /incoherent mess/ “SOONYOUNG SOO- oh my god i can’t i love him too much minghao help minghao is so cute they are all so cute soonyoung please i-”

Junnie (internally): “I LOVE THIS SONG but damn, i want the waterrrrrrrr versionnnnnnn” :-;

MIDDLE SCHOOL VCR

Scooped: /Sees young seungcheol in a wig/ “OMFG OPPAAAAAA”

Jihooned: SEOKMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Hoshit: “I LOVE MY SMALL DUMPLING BABIES”

MANSAE

Junnie (internally): “ASDFGJKLL;;; LOOK AT JISOO AND JUN AT THE BACK HAVING THEIR MOMENT AHHHHHH”

Hoshit: “this is their third chorus repetition I love this song but my arms are tired plea- oh for God’s sake it’s another repetition”

BOOM BOOM

Scooped: “NOONA PEI”

Hoshit: “WHY SOONYOUNG SWEAT LIKE HOLY WATER”, a pause, “GIVE ME THAT HOLY WATER BLESS ME SOONYOUNG”

Hoshit and Jihooned: /been practicing for this fanchant since they were born, ready for this moment/ “CHOI SEUNGCHEOL YOON JEONGHAN HONG JISOO MOON JUNHUI KWON SOONYOUNG JEON WONWOO LEE JIHOON SEO MYUNGHO KIM MINGYU LEE SEOKMIN BOO SEUNGKWAN CHWE HANSOL LEE CHAN SEVENTEEN BITNAEJULGE”

Wooed: *fanchanting* CHOI SEUNGCHUL, YOON JEONGHAN HONG JI-- fuck i can’t do this.. Uh.. shit.. JEON WONWOO *more incoherent mumbling*… LEE CHAN SEVENTEEN BITNAEJULGE!

Mingyu & Vernon’s Staring Contest

When Vernon was staring into the camera my soul, Junnie (internally): “Ok it’s official. My bias for Hip Hop Team is Vernon.”

Hoshit: “why does Mingyu look so good whO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT”

Vocal Team VCR

Wooed & Scooped: “Ok time to go toilet” (BRUH WE GONNA GET KILLED HAHHA)

Jihooned: “LEE SEOKMIN STOP IT”

Hoshit: “JIHOOOOOON JIHOOOOOOOOON JIHOOOOOOO-”

WE GONNA MAKE IT SHINE

Jihooned: someone hold me pls

Jihooned and Hoshit, proud mothers shouting for their child: BOOOOOOOO SEUNGKWANNNNNNNNNNNNN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wooed: SLAY MY BABY BOO SLAY ALKJFLKAJFLKDA IM SO FUCKIGN PROUD OF YOU MY BROHEREIFPSGJKSJ

Junnie (internally): “YASS JOSHUA YOU LOOK SO TINY IN THE BIG CHAIR WOOHOO”

DON’T LISTEN SECRETLY

Wooed: *trying so damn hard not to sing along BECAUSE THIS IS HER FAVOURITE SEVENTEEN SONG EVER BUT SHE ALSO DOESN’T WANT TO RUIN HER FANCAM WITH HER UGLY VOICE*

Also Wooed after Seungkwan’s part: “I think I am crying” *Proceeds to lean against Scooped’s shoulders being emo af*

Jihooned clings onto Hoshit real tight when Seokmin opens his mouth

Hoshit: Why Jihoon hold mic stand so hot

Jihooned: That’s not a mic stand

Hoshit: Why Jihoon hold towel so hot

Hip Hop Team VCR

Wooed: “THEY ARE SO F***ING KINKY” *erupts in a coughing fit*

Scooped: “rude rude Rude RUde RUDE RUDDDEE R000000000DDDDDD”

Jihooned: “MINGYU HANDCUFF ME PLEASE”

Hoshit: “CHOI SEUNGCHEOL DADDY AF”

Hoshit: “CHOKE ME PLEASE”

ITCH ITCH (언행일치/言行一致)

Scooped: “ITCHY ITCHY”

Scooped: “DIS SO LIT” /Headbangs/

Wooed: Jeon Wonwoo just dabbed he’s dead to me goodbye

Hoshit: “choi sEUNGCHOEL STOP” “why am I not Mingyu biased yet”

CHECK IN

Scooped: “SINGAPORE CITYYYYYYY”

Scooped: “AAAA COUPS HARD RAP COMING ITS COMING OH-F*** OH SHIT OH WOW F***” /dies/

Hoshit: “i hate choi seungcheol”

Performance Team VCR

“HOOOOOOOO”

“SHIT MINGHAO SHIT OMG”

“OH MY GOD”

Hoshit: AH- AH- AH- AH- AH- GODDAMIT CAN THEY LET ME FINISH SCREAMING BEFORE THEY GIVE ME ANOTHER HEART ATTACK”

Jihooned: ChanChanChanChanChanChannnnnnn

Junnie (internally): “bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye”

HIGHLIGHT

Jihooned and Hoshit: “DO WE DO THE OT13 CHANT OR NOT IT’S JUST PEPO” “JUST DO” “SEUNGCHEOL JEONGHAN JISOO JUNHUI SOONYOUNG WONWOO JIHOON MYUNGHO MINGYU SEOKMIN SEUNGKWAN HANSOL CHAN HIGHLIGHT”

Junnie: “CHAN, HIGHLIGHT”

OMG

Jihooned: Why Chan wear crop top

Hoshit: /lost to the war, only knows how to headbang/ “WE’RE GOING UP YEAH OH MY GOD YEAH OH MY GOD”

*Chan attempts a stunt*

Wooed: CHILD CHILD CHILD NO YOU’RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF BE CAREFUL.

CRAZY IN LOVE

hoshit just dead just rip woojireongi will be the death of her

Jihooned busy switching between Jihoon and Seokmin

Wooed: "OREUM OREUM” *mumbles* (bc she forgot the lyrics)

Wooed: *more mumbling* “BOOO.”

ROCK

Hoshit, still dead dying at the hip thrusts :YOU TAKE ME TO THE TOP AND STRAIGHT DOWN LIKE A GYRO DROP fukin lee jihoon what the heck who allowed him who allowed kwon soonyoung

Jihooned, every time before chorus hits: oh shit oh shit the body roll hold me

CHUCK

/remember the foreshadowing about the batteries THAT IS RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN; HOSHIT'S BONG BATTERIES DIED AS CHUCK CAME ON; cue hoshit desperately trying to change batteries to the beat of chuck while screaming CHUCK CHUCK BRR CHUCK

MY I

Scooped: “Will this be Korean or Chinese”

Wooed: “idkidkidkidk”

Wooed: “AAAAA ITS KOREAN ITS KOREAN KASJB AKJSDK”

Scooped & Wooed: /dies at Minghao’s flip/

Jihooned & Hoshit: korean korean korean korean korean /waits expectantly for the first word/ YASSSSSSSS KOREANNNNNN

Hoshit: “minghao bb i would like to see your tattoo when you flip, none of this tucked in shirt nonsense”

Junnie (internally): “I would like to thank Jihooned for showing me that glorious fancam for I wouldn’t be here today so see this with my own eyes omfg I lived for this moment I am not ready for this help me… the toilet paper… Jun… Minghao… help… DOLLA DOLLA DOLLA, KELANG KONGJI KELANG KONGJI”

IF I

Jihooned: “Hoshit hold my hand QUICK”

/Hoshit and Jihooned holds hands through the whole song/ *AH PEHHHHH AH PEHHHH OUR FAVOURITE AH PEH (we were referring to Wonwoo)

*Ah peh is a term used (affectionately, in our case) to refer to an old man

HABIT

Hoshit, confused screaming; not sure who to support louder: BOO?? JIHOON?? BOO!!! JIHOON!!! BOOOOOOOOO SLAYYYYYYYY BOOOOOOO- JIHOOOOOOOOOOOOO- makes lawnmower noises/

**lawnmower story will be explained one day

DON’T WANNA CRY

Wooed: “OH GOD JEONGHAN AND SEOKMIN ARE DANCING THIS HEART HAS NO DAMN SPACE FOR BOTH OF YOU PLEASE STOP”

Scooped: “I WANT TO CRY”

Hoshit: “ oh god it’s ending not like this please not like this it’s only been five minutes”

Hoshit and Jihooned: /inhales/ SEUNGCHEOL JEONGHAN JISOO JUNHUI SOONYOUNG WONWOO JIHOON MYUNGHO MINGYU SEOKMIN SEUNGKWAN HANSOL CHAN, ULGO SHIPJI AHNA

Emotional VCR

Hoshit: /WAILS, Cat 4 can hear her crying from VIP/

Jihooned/Scooped/Wooed?: HAHAHA we got friend zoned by Minghao

Hoshit: /more wailing, amount of tears can be used to fill 30 swimming pools/

HEALING

Junnie: OH SHIZZZ LOOK AT JUN CARRYING JOSHUA??? THAT’S SO FLUFFY OMFG MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

Hoshit; notices that they are spraying water: “I WANT THE HOLY WATER I WAN- GODDAMIT SEVENTEEN TRAIN YOUR ARMS HOW CAN YOU ONLY SPLASH WATER 1 METRE AWAY WHAT KIND OF PUNY PEOPL- JIHOON IS CHASING CHAN GO MY BOY BE FREE”

Ending Ment

/When jihoon finishes talking/

Jihooned: Wts is he high on drugs or something

Hoshit: “i love seventeen”, she says, as tears stream down her face

Junnie teared up here when she heard Jun & Jisoo’s ment. But she couldn’t say anything because all the other admins were sitting far away. All she could do was try not to draw attention to herself.

END OF CONCERT

Hoshit: HOW DO I STOP STREAMING THIS AUDIO

Jihooned: Eh we still got hi touch

Hoshit: oh my God i want to die but i have to wait until after the hi touch

Junnie actually teared up again (what the actual heck) because she remembered Jun & Jisoo’s ment. (Ya’ll have to know, Junnie doesn’t cry often So this was a magical and emotional moment for her.)

Wooed & Scooped just sighed and hugged each other with happiness and feels everywhere

Aaaaaaa thank you for reading through this super long post full of our nonsense and don't worry, our hi touch experience + confessions will be revealed in another post one day~~

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