#to feel and allow yourself so

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #disco elysium #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #So sad I didn't manage to get this comic out on the 15th (pd-mdzs's 8 month anniversary and DE's 4th year anniversary) but I'm here *now* #I have a very extensive and detailed MDZS Disco Elysium AU that I am Not Normal About. #I've seen a few other people point out the potential in a crossover (true) but they make the mistake in having it be set in 51! #A true crossover would take place closer to The Antecentennial Revolution! #Disco Elysium did not go that hard on its cool lore for people to only make surface level crossovers!!! #One day I'll write the fic or post my notes. I don't know who would read it but it tickles *my* brain and that's enough. #No spoilers for DE (here or in comments (please)) but please consider....Magpie Wei Wuxian B*) On his way to be an innocent. #I do think there is a good chance a chunk of the MDZS readership would enjoy DE but...it's also not a game I easily recommend #It's more of an experience you have to marinate over. It's dark in ways that are off putting to some people. #It makes you feel like a very bad person all the time. It gets extremely personal if you allow yourself to be honest in your answers #and it's also the game that saved my life. My life was truly forever changed after playing disco elysium. #If I recommend it to people it's a badge of the trust I have in you to appreciate something dear to me B'*) #If you decide to play: PLEASE go in as blind as possible. You will regret spoiling yourself. #edit: this is based on real disco elysium dialogue. HDB has many canon kinks but this is not one of them

[buttercupbuck]

eddie is not someone who screams at the world.

when he’s told that shannon’s situation is bad, he immediately accepts that she is going to die. when he’s told by buck that he couldn’t find christopher, that christopher is gone, he accepts that his child is dead. eddie’s world comes down and he just...surrenders to its cruelty, and to the bitter understanding that this is the way things are. he argues with the others that he doesn’t worry about the things outside of his control, but it’s because he knows he’d never win anyway. he folds, because what other choice does he have than to accept with gritted teeth whatever torment the world chooses to inflict

so i don’t know. to see him like this? crying out for someone who’s already dead until his voice is hoarse, begging with buck’s lifeless body to respond to him, crying out against the mounting hopelessness of the situation as he fails to pull him up, as buck’s body dangles almost mockingly below him? it’s so unthinkably cruel

#if it hadn't been for everything he went through last season i don't know that he ever would have allowed himself to have this reaction #this reaction that is not logical or collected or rational #and in so many ways it's a growth of sorts but it's the worst and most painful kind - #of fully allowing yourself to feel and fight against the cruelty of the world and of the mourning and despair that accompany it #eddie diaz #buddie #911 spoilers #911 fox

[beatriceportinari]

Another year, another outfit to die in! Happy birthday again Izuna!!!!!!

Like last year, I played with someone else's lines for these charming patterns, thank you so much Lena @elhnrt ! I had a ton of fun :D

Check the readmore for pattern references and explanations, there are some easter eggs in there :)

(x,x,x,x)

My goal for this piece, in addition to playing with patterns and textures and adding some Naruto references, was to add as many death flags as possible.

The idea of having Izuna in a fireman's coat is obviously not from me. I've always like the idea of Uchihas in fire resistant clothes, and the opportunity for a thick texture alongside a reversible double pattern is very appealing. I used the image of the second reference as a base, with skulls on one side and stylized lightning patterns on the other (visible inside the sleeves and collar). Both were common immagery of firemen coats.

The actual skull pattern is taken from the third reference. I'd seen this one before and before even learning anything abt it it was too beautiful to pass up. Those white and navy gradients are absolutely delightful and I enjoyed using my gel pens for them very much.... This particular type of imagery with skulls and bones in a field is called Nozarashi, inspired by Buddhist representation of death and transience.

The lightning pattern itself is a reference to water and lightning dragons :) Like Tobirama's iconic jutsu, it's one of the hints of what's abt to happen to our little guy. The scabbard is also decorated with dragon motifs for the same reason.

The background pattern is taken from the first reference, another fireman's coat with an illustration of Raijin, the thunder god. He is often representated with drums decorated with tomoes. It works nicely as a standard looking sharingan illustration, with a reference to Tobirama's hiraishingiris with the thunder imagery, like the thunder patterns inside the coat.

If you're interested in this I recommend the book linked in the second reference! It is entirely about skeleton motifs in japanese clothing of the early 20th century.

#mine #mixed #wip #naruto #uchiha izuna #been looking at some many fun patters I really went all in for this one #I love borrowing people's lines bc I do not care much abt anatomy or even drawing clothes tbh but patterns and textures.... #it's like I'm dressing up a little doll :) #you can tell I was feeling myself seriousposting bc I capizalized the names... #anyway this was a lot of fun and of course actually quite unserious #for exemple you'll notice all these are either from late 19th/early20th c. despite the warring states era being obviously sengoku coded #later designs were easier for me to find references from and information on since I do not know much abt the subject #I allowed myself these liberties bc the timeline (wether aesthetic or narrative) in naruto is hardly strict #also it's usually the senjus who are associated with Buddhism and the uchiha are more shinto leaning but well. #you can tell yourself this is a sign of early konoha corruption on our guy Izuna #if you have any more questions abt this feel free to ask! this was a surprise again so i haven't posted any wips #but i do have some pictures of the process and I always love to chat

[skulllesbian]

went to my uni's biology department for the first time yesterday and im soooo in love

#taking a class on insects and uh. im the only non bio student in there jfhdhdh i feel like im not allowed there #but i got into the class so?? still scary to me hfhdhd #forcing yourself to do things is hard and stressful but i hope this'll pay off <3 #pinned insects #bugblr #pinned bugs #vulture culture #insects #bugs

[softcryz]

Cat with homophobia in it's eyes

#zoc scrambled #zoc artwork #rain world #rw oc #rw iterator #zoc shack #LANDS_EDGE #this was just a warm up #the brain has been wanting to draw so so badly but my hands won't allow it #Him with pupils still feels incredibly strange to me but my friends want him carnally when I draw him with them #so #hypothetical him with pupils #they're like screens and he can project whatever the fuck he wants with them #but also him showing pupils is INSANELY rare . Even if you scare him #It is just not something he'd do he'd much prefer having the blank eyes surprisingly #“why did you put paint on your optics you can /literally/ just give yourself pupils” “nuh uh” “ WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NUHUH” #|| <- uh #IF YOU SAW ME.. REPOST THIS #No you didn't <3

[captainofthetidesbreath]

[blows a kiss out to sea] for the Mighty Nein pirates arc

#I'm!! I have so many thoughts about why this arc is SO GOOD #But the short version is like #It is an arc about Fjord and identity and power and self and agency as he faces the truth of his patron and faces a rival warlock #But it is ALSO about Fjord grappling with those things bc he is ALSO processing grief and sadness and a search for direction and purpose #and grappling with disappointing disillusionment in how the world and people in your life (including maybe yourself) isn't what you thought #and about coming to resolve he has the agency and strength to not allow these things to deter him from purpose and place in the world. #And—this is why this is a PHENOMENAL arc—so is the rest of the Nein. Individually and as a group. #All of them are grappling with feelings of grief and sadness and disappointment and directionless and helplessness #just the grand malaise and relentless shapelessness of what living often is #They also as individuals and as a group together also find that resolve and strength to carry on and find self and purpose and direction #They all begin to process the very same things in their own lives and in their shared experience as The Nein. Simultaneously and together. #It's an arc about Fjord and self and agency in the face of disappointment and grief and disillusionment. #It's an arc about the Nein—individually and as a whole—and self and agency in the face of disappointment and grief and disillusionment. #It's SUCH a strong arc bc ALL of them are taking the same internal journey—structured around Fjord's very externalized version of it. #And it's got incredible vibes (pirate warlocks of a leviathan!) and some GREAT set pieces. And every NPC in the arc is iconic as is Twiggy. #Anyway. In my feelings about this arc. I said this is the short version and yet. #Critical Role things #CR meta

[ride-a-dromedary]

I think Halsin would benefit from a good cry.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #doesn't have to be with or around others - i just think there's a lot of pressure in there #that might just need the valve released #he just needs a place he feels safe enough to do so - where he doesn't feel like people are looking to him #to be the strong one #he needs to be able to be the little elfling crying for his mother #just for a moment #(i think he did middle of the woods after he ran until his lungs burned from the underdark and he just.... #collapsed and everything caught up at once) #me @ halsin - allow yourself catharsis big guy #because you obviously need it

[demonboyhalo]

The only true death is being forgotten, so yes, Technoblade will never die. His memory won't wither when it's 10 million strong, and the joy he gave the world can't be taken away. We will remember Technoblade. We will not allow him to die.

#death tw #i know this is going to feel impossible for a while. like you can't belive this isn't a joke - that it's actually happened #and every reminder of reality makes you start crying all over again. so don't be afraid to take time to yourself and stay offline #take as much time as you need - because i know the pain sucks. it REALLY fucking sucks #but there's nothing to be done for it besides keep going. keep moving and time will move with you and it WILL get better #we will always have his memory and even now that he's gone we have the laughter he left behind for us #keep living. we will not allow his memory to die. #technoblade

[batwynn]

Me, on my ADHD med: this can’t be working. I still have memory problems and ‘bad habits’.

Me off the meds because of storm and PA delays: oh. lol. Nvm.

#help meeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAUGH #adhd #adhd problems #adhd meds #tw: medication #I’m like #I’m #I’m unteathered my friends #It’s so bad #I feel Bad™️ #thanks to bad memory a delayed PA and a fuckin storm and then Sunday and then closed for Monday holiday #I have to wait until Tuesday #I have two left #rationing them for when I need to work #which can’t be today with the high winds and potentional power outage #so I’m just sitting here shaking and loosing it a little bit #anyway #if you made it this far #I wish you a peaceful weekend #maybe some light reflection on allowing yourself to do things you enjoy without self sabatoge #it’s ok to not be ok #but it’s even better if sometimes #you are the person you need #and you are kind to yourself

[uncanny-tranny]

Shout-out to queer people who use "outdated" language, for whatever reason. It is okay to reclaim and use language that feels best for your experiences. I promise, the people who matter don't mind.

#lesbian #gay #bi #bisexual #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #YES some of the people who use 'outdated' language are elder queer people and that's beautiful tbh #but also? we don't need to be 'old' to be allowed to use words that empower us #you don't need to wait to prove yourself worthy to use a queer label. you're already worthy #i've found so much power in being a transsexual no matter how others feel about it #because this is MY label and nobody should be forced to use labels they don't want/like/whatever else

[mudstoneabyss]

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it #this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself #and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure'' #but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given #which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin #it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo #like he's been through enough! #because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying #by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them #when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person #yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon #but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi #get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma #especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are #like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow #i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice #or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it #i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops #wtnv #wtnv spoilers #joyousposting

[mag200]

when i say i chose to be trans i dont mean that im following a fun trend for cool points or that i haven’t experienced genuine dysphoria. i didnt choose to feel a certain way but i chose to name the feeling, and to name it in this particular language. i chose to live this way, to be open about my feelings and unapologetically transgender, and i chose to share my feelings with you. i would probably be just as trans if i never said anything about it, because the feeling i had from the beginning would still be there, but i wouldnt be choosing it. this is valid as well, i just decided its not for me. in this life, i am living this way. “i chose to be trans” because we are our actions as much as we are our feelings.

#gender tag #thinking back to how i felt in the weeks leading up to top surgery #and i kept thinking: #‘i dont have to do this. i could suppress this feeling all my life and Maybe id survive’ #honestly. jon sims ‘i dont want to just survive’ big gamechanger in my life #you are allowed to want more for yourself #anyway. for me its less ‘i have to be a man’ and more like #ive been followed by a feeling of wrongness my whole life and this is an answer that works and works well for me #my very little cousins have been asking me a lot of good questions about it #so ive been thinking hard about how to put things in terms they understand

[cantheykillmacbeth]

((I love the people who tag my posts with "The Scottish Play." Like. Macbeth Macbeth Macbeth!!! The play Macbeth!!!! Macbeth by William Shakespeare!!!!! Macbeth (not the character)!!!! Get scared get scared get scared!!!!!!!!! Woe sandbag be upon ye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway happy halloween y'all :) Hope you had a good time tonight))

#for the record i will never believe in the macbeth superstition #as someone who has worked in theater both onstage and backstage #things will go wrong no matter what. there are just so many people and moving parts that you cant avoid something going disastrously wrong #but it feels nice to have something you can tangibly blame when youre faced with a situation where nobody is at fault #so people decided that a culturally significant tragedy that gets talked about a lot by thespians is somehow the culprit #and the play itself is haunted oooooo #but. no. no matter how diligent everyone is about avoiding talking about macbeth someone is still gonna almost get a concussion mid act #props are still gonna go missing. set pieces are still gonna fall over. someones still gonna fall down the stairs (me lol). #allow yourself the freedom

[alaraxia]

mini me banner I made originally with the intention of using it for my ko-fi account, but I realized I don’t have the energy to keep something like that meaningfully updated, so now it’s just a general banner for my socials if I feel like it

#I do have a ko-fi I just don’t advertise it really because currently I’m not in need of extra financial help because job #like on one hand it would be great to make money off of making things I enjoy but on the other hand #I would feel beholden to the whims of supporters and feel the constant need to be making things I think they’d like #or things that would potentially make me more likeable and make me more money #so in that sense I think ultimately I’m a lot happier having a financially stable job and thus allowing myself to make things I want #decoupled from the expectation that they could be profitable and having my creativity tied to my ability to pay bills #I still have my inprnt shop tho where I put some of my bigger pieces and I appreciate the support of it #anyway this was not intended to be a monologue I just got carried away #capitalism is hell but drawing silly pictures of my OCs makes the weight feel just a bit lighter #go draw a silly picture of your OCs #digital art #also secrets the government doesn’t want you to know: you can just draw yourself as a lil elf wizard whenever you want #mini me

[wildstar25]

G'raha looked so serious while he pleaded his case to venture into the World of Darkness with the Warrior of Light. The sudden conviction in his tone had Arsay at a loss for words. Still, she did not hesitate to meet his request with an accepting nod. He was an important friend and in the passing moons that they'd come to know each other, a strong fondness for him had taken hold of her. The prospect of helping G'raha find the truth behind his mysterious inheritance made Arsay's heart pound. It was the perfect venture for them to embark on. The first of many, she hoped. The two turned towards the impossibly tall spire that dared to pierce the heavens above. Arsay's resolve strengthened in its presence. When they next find themselves gazing at the tower -with their quest completed and the world no longer under threat of total destruction- she'll properly ask G'raha to be a companion in her travels. A grin crept its way onto her face as her gaze shifted to him. If Arsay could find it within herself to bare her heart to others so readily just as he does… perhaps their future adventures will find them together, hand in hand.

#ffxiv #wolgraha #WOL posting #G'raha tia #Arsay Nun #graharsay #idk just a random passage in my head that I needed to get out #im not a writer and im not pretending to be one but it was in my brain so sorry if its not as readable as I think it is #anyways imagine you are the loneliest catgirl in the world #and you meet a guy who is so swagless and cringe but in a charming way and he connects with you on a fundamental level #and you become really good friends and every time you show up he smiles in a way that makes your heart do somersaults #and you start thinking that maybe people actually like having you around not just when they need you to kill and destroy things #you let yourself open up a little and you're met with kindness and you realize you are very in love actually #but because you're still figuring out how to talk about your feelings you wait a little too long #and that guy seals himself up in a tower and tells you he'll think about your heroism in the future #and you are very sad and angry about this but thats not allowed so instead you put that energy to being the hero of all time #and every day you go to work you see the structure that reminds you of him and you cant let go of those what if feelings n ur cursed 5ever #would that be fucked up or what