#thoughts are not actions

[cinderella-ish]

The Intersection of Purity Culture and OCD

(Reposting my comments on this post, because they were getting cut off in dashboard)

The ways purity culture intersects with OCD are striking.

Let me tell you about what it's like to be a person with OCD. Our brains are thought-generating machines. We think more thoughts than we can feasibly process.

Most people are able to filter out the important thoughts from the random, background thoughts. A person with OCD will latch on to some of those random, background thoughts - usually the absolute worst, most upsetting ones - and ruminate on them.

We do this because we care about whatever that thought is. In my case, I obsessed over causing harm. I constantly worried that I had hit someone with my car but didn't know it. Or that if I were ever near a dangerous item (an axe, a chainsaw, or a firearm), I was sure to hurt someone badly. I was in a state of constant vigilance against my own actions and thoughts, and I was convinced I secretly wanted to hurt people even though that was literally the most upsetting thought to me.

And then, when we find a compulsion that temporarily soothes the thought, we repeat that ad infinitum, hoping we'll rescue ourselves if we just do the thing just right, or enough times, or completely for the rest of time (as in the case of an avoidance compulsion). I just had to never be near a chainsaw, or an axe, or a firearm, or a car.

Thinking these things didn't ever mean I wanted to hurt people. It actually meant exactly the opposite. I was obsessing over those particular thoughts because they were so deeply upsetting to me.

I now own a cleaver, and I'm comfortable using it in the kitchen and sharpening it myself. (I know this is not revolutionary for most people, but to me, a cleaver is just a mini axe. Those things are were scary!)

I now know those thoughts are a normal part of having a brain, and exploring them in a safe way (i.e.through fiction) is actually incredibly helpful to me, because it allows me to have agency as I explore thoughts and concepts that used to trigger bad obsessive spirals. For example, when I was going through exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP) for OCD, one of the exercises I would do was carrying one of my intrusive thoughts to its natural conclusion.

Well, what if I DID hit someone with my car? Well...first, I'd try to help them, call 911, administer the first aid I know, etc... If I was at fault, I might face charges, which would be a hardship. It would be harder if the person I hit suffered serious harm. I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. And of course, it would be even more painful if the accident happened without me knowing. BUT worrying about it constantly won't actually change whether it will happen. I've now given enough of my brainspace to this, and I won't need to worry about it again unless it actually happens.

I imagine the current purity culture must be incredibly hard for people whose OCD is not managed, and may be pushing people with a propensity for OCD into some bad spirals.

There's also the fact that survivors of trauma often use role play or fiction as a way of working through their trauma.

And NO ONE should have to disclose their trauma or medical conditions for their engagement with fiction to be "valid." Everyone worries sometimes, and fiction can be a way to work through those worries.

Fiction can also provide catharsis, especially tragedies and "dark" fiction. We all need to be able to experience the full spectrum of emotions, and fiction can help us do that.

I also think it's totally valid to criticize fiction. There are a lot of pieces of fiction (all media) that I personally find irredeemable. And it's literally all problematic (because nothing is perfect!). My beloved Fruits Basket has tons of very problematic elements. But there's a wide gulf between "I won't read that" and "it shouldn't exist."

But with that said, it's important to be aware of the current climate. There's a huge difference between saying "this trope is frustrating and here's why" or "this novel by a well-established author didn't successfully make the point it wanted to make" vs. "this fanfic is Bad therefore the author is Bad and anyone who engages with them is Bad and deserves whatever consequences they get."

(Plus, I think the Netflix AtLA adaptation is proof that fiction needs problematic elements and characters to have any heart at all. Give me sexist Sokka and angry Katara and an Aang who runs away and murderous, angry Zuko any day over what we got! Characters need room to GROW! And "problematic" characters show real people there's a way forward!)

(This isn't even getting into the roots of purity culture in colonial, Evangelical Christian ways of thinking. Purity culture is, by its very nature, a tool of the oppressors.)

#purity culture #fandom #not fruits basket #actually ocd #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #intrusive thoughts #fiction is not reality #thoughts are not actions #my post #by cinderella-ish

[craycraybluejay]

"You can have thought crimes but only the ones I don't personally find gross. Thought crime is real tho."

?????

We live in an era where people with public facing careers can get smeared into homelessness by an armchair diagnosis of an "unacceptable" attraction based on a drawing they retweeted and you really want to die on this hill?

"People deserve to die bc they have feelings and thoughts I don't like." Do you hear yourself.

Let's go ahead and persecute half or more of all mentally ill and queer people, too, for thinking about suicide (which is a crime in many places), murder of people abusing them or just in general bc mental illness, people with p-ocd, people with attachment disorders who want to stalk their crush (but don't do that.) In fact let's just be cruel to everyone who's ever had a "morally unacceptable" thought. Oh wait. That's most of the people on Earth. Huh.

#some of y'all don't know how to act #blocklist longer than the nile river #thought crime #step on a lego. tbh #pro para #pro kink #thoughts are not actions #thoughts cannot be crimes #random kid with an abusive parent: 'i wish i could just kill them' #the thoughtcrime police: 'GO TO JAIL YOU DISGUSTING MURDERER' #urgh #touch some grass. people's brains are not perfect moral canvasses of exactly the actions they plan to do irl #and if you think thinking something BadWrong is the same as acting on it you have a Problem that necessitates I not being around you #because that's exactly the kind of justification I hear from actual abusive people. #'oh well i needed to do it because you made me feel angry!' #but you didn't need to do it #'i needed to do that to her because i want her' #but did you though? #when people say that shit it is NOT a valid explanation. it is an excuse for abhorrent behaviour #stop asking people to justify their thoughts and start asking why your mindset is exactly the one abusers use to justify their actions #bc i promise you even people with dangerous IMPULSES who havent hurt a fly will tell u their thoughts dont justify or force them to do shit #also yall are super fucked up to people with ocd #and while i dont have ocd i am SORRY to those of you that do that are constantly bombarded with triggering moral high horsing

[nouverx]

Redraw of my favourite scene. I don't know how to be normal about this, I love them so much

#one piece #one piece live action #opla #opla spoilers #luffy #monkey d. luffy #koby #who would have thought that opla would manage to make me lowkey ship koby and Luffy #I MEAN idk the talk under the stars scene + this one #I'm having a vision #my art #one piece fanart

[reineydraws]

this is a scene from opla s2, black leg gazpacho told me himself!!!

src by @op-trash-blog-of-hell

#one piece #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #opla fanart #opla #zosan #one piece fanart #one piece live action #vinsmoke sanji #sanzo #comic #op comic #incorrect one piece quotes #did yall notice mackenyu has slight dimples. i cant stop noticing them now. 🥲💖 #and taz skylar's smile... ah. 🥰🥰 #anyways i saw this post and thought it was perf for opla bc zoro was like 'why are we bringing the waiter' lol #and i wanted to draw mackenyu's zoro a little bit bc he is so!! pretty!!!!!

[beif0ngs]

alright look, i just wanna know who is the writer that came up with the dumbass idea of replacing the line “Ever since I lost my son, I think of you as my own” with “Lu Ten would have been proud to have you as his father” in this scene for the Netflix live action series???

#atla #Avatar the Last Airbender #atlaedit #animationedit #Zuko #Uncle Iroh #*mine #GIVE ME THE NAME!!!!! #and it's funny how they chose to keep most of the lines almost verbatim in this scene but then replaced the MOST important line... #seriously who in their right f*cking mind thought that was the better line to say in this context HUH??? #the way it was originally written was such an important highlight of this scene too!! #IT LITERALLY SUMS UP IROH AND ZUKO'S ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP IN ONE SENTENCE #like i know certain dialogues can't be translated well into live action and some changes are necessary #but there was absolutely NO reason to change this particular line whatsoever in this specific scene

[assiraphales]

dracule mihawk let zoro live despite it being a death match and decided not to take luffy to garp just for the hell of it. add a few wild cards to the mix to spice things up. he took one look the rag tag group of straw hat pirates and said ‘bless this mess. imma let them marinate’

#one piece #opla #he’s so bored / unbothered he prob thought this would spice things up #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #the strawhats #one piece live action #dracule mihawk

[agentravensong]

thinking about how the extra area added on to a pacifist run of undertale, the true lab, is about alphys's past mistakes. how it ends with the story reaffirming that, despite the pain she's caused, the thing that matters is that she has now made the choice to do the right thing. she's still worthy of her friends' love.

thinking about how undertale doesn't expect the player to get a pacifist ending for the first time. how it's more likely than not that the player will kill toriel the first time they battle her, how lots of players don't initially figure out how to end undyne's fight without killing her, etc. what it expects — not even expects, really, but hopes — is that the player, if they care enough, will use their canonically acknowledged power over time to make up for those mistakes.

no matter how many neutral runs a player has done before committing to the pacifist run, the thing that matters to the characters, to the story, is that you've chosen, now, to do the right thing.

compared to alphys, the player honestly gets off lightly, in that you're the only one (other than flowey) who really remembers any harm you might have caused. and any direct guilting the game could have done about it is long past at this point. instead, as undertale often does, it makes its point via parallels: alphys caused harm, and she knows it. she has committed to being better. in doing so, she has unlocked for herself a better ending to her story. and she deserves it. she's forgiven.

those structural narrative parallels are all over undertale, if you know where to look. and that's one of the things that makes it so fuckin' good.

#undertale #alphys #true lab #this inspired by a mutual's alphys posting #and a discord convo i had a couple weeks back about ut's stance on ''punishing'' the player vs the monsters for their actions #and thoughts i've had generally post a certain fangame with a color in its name about just how well ut is structured as a narrative #everyone rightfully praises toby fox's character writing but stuff like this i think flies under the radar a bit by comparison #and it deserves to be appreciated #there's obvious Lore reasons why the true lab is only visited in a pacifist run (what's revealed about chara and flowey) #but this is the other half of it: the message of alphys's story hits hardest on a paci route post neutral runs #toby fox is a good writer more often than not

[evil-sometimes]

i love gorgug as the car owner friend. slightly grimacing like oooh no dont scratch the paint, cmon guys my parents gave me this car i dont wanna dent it. no don't let ur blood demon pet sit there hes gonna stain the seats.

#it feel like a very teen sentimentality amongst the action which is part of what i like about fantasy high and the seven #and i think this season is gonna continue to show that contrast #but more complicated thoughts for tmrw #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #gorgug thistlespring

[moodyseal]

I was poking fun at how unexpectedly silly the CHB kids looked in armour in the first two episodes of the PJO show (acting like an almighty army and all) and then it hit me. This is exactly how some of them will look like when they will be dying in the final battle. Silly. Tiny. Literal children

#i'm sorry i always knew that they were children but #when i read books the characters' ages. idk. don't really register completely #maybe it's because i know their internal pov and don't hear their voices or see them #but these are. 12 y/os #fighting things #and only now that i see an actual live action rendition of pjo do i realize the weight of it all #they're so young oh my god #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #lonely thoughts

[mlpoutofcontext]

#the only evil thing the water did was make Vinyl Scratch talk out loud #that was a joke but actually #later in the comic the water is said to make “every thought that crosses ones mind become action” #which arguably could cause a normally non-verbal pony to speak #Vinyl Scratch #mlp #my little pony #mlp fim #my little pony friendship is magic #Apple Bloom #Ponies of Dark Water #idw comics

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[deimosatellite]

#when we thought the atla MIGHT be ok after opla but it turns out opla is just an exception #HS9D8FUIPJLK #annie rambles #opla #one piece #avatar the last airbender #ive heard mixed reviews about the atla live action but the consensus feels like the writers werent in tune with the source enough #where opla it really feels like the writers understand op at its core so thus were able to transform it #but maybe thats just me #80U9DSFPOJKL #i have so many thoughts on how much i liked opla i should make a separate post but like. for one not disrespecting source by #saying that the new take is ''more for adults" or whatever / all that nonsense #and again just respecting source material feels like a major difference here

[craycraybluejay]

I feel rly weird around ppl w "maps dni" bc it just rubs me the wrong way that ppl equate others w those feelings to having committed an actual crime or done something otherwise bad for existing. It's like "bpd dni" or "intrusive thought havers dni" its all just thoughts i block people who make me uncomfortable thats it.

like its not my business what ppl r thinking yk. idc. also ive seen interviews n maps genuinely dont care/want to "invade the queer community" they know its a different thing ok. the fight to treat people like people is universal but the fight to do so for people whose thoughts you detest is closer to advocacy for unpalatable mental illness and general freedom to exist with badwrong thoughts than it is advocacy to be in a relationship with someone who can actually consent to you regardless of gender. Like. they know. everyone knows and if u think that would ever be a thing,, it wouldn't. the same way that groups for abortion rights are not the same groups you go to for idk trauma support.

obv sometimes its better not to post certain things even if its harmless text ppl will dogpile u and accuse u of things bc someone got triggered. but sue me if i dont think its a crime for ppl w badwrong attractions to exist and i think its weird that others think it is.

like im a sadist i know how this shit goes intimately. "killing and torturing people is bad." "yes." "you're a bad person and deserve to be hurt for it." "but i didn't kill or torture anyone and don't really plan on it?" "you're evil for even thinking or feeling it. you still deserve to be punished." "but i didn't DO.. ANYTHING??" "weirdo murder fetishizer is triggered lol xd get hit by a truck" "..." "ur disgusting and evil and you should kys for having badwrong thoughts." "but i'm not doing anything wrong." "idc ur a gross evil monster" "i have a feeling this isnt getting anywhere. bye."

^it's like y'all reach argument bedrock the moment someone drops the idea that you CAN HAVE "badwrong" thoughts and feelings that would be unethical to act on irl without acting on them or being a bad person by the simple sin of thinking them. this is puritan nonsense. all of you have thought "sinful" thoughts. all of you have wanted to do things that would be cruel or dangerous; because if you have a brain that just Happens, whatever the nature of the thought. If you want to yell at your kid that's fine, they're annoying you and you have every right to feel that way. If you actually yell at your kid you are hurting them and that's not OK. You want to go harass someone online because they said something stupid? Fine. You actually go and do that? Bad. how hard is this to understand. am i speaking alien.

also if u punch people and go to therapy for it you are not going with the goal of stopping this desire to punch people. you are going with the goal of finding ways to vent this feeling that dont hurt anyone and figuring out the root cause of it with your therapist to better understand how you can work together to prevent this from happening.

#pro para #thought crime #badwrong thoughts #thoughts are not actions #idk if u think someone can be evil or a criminal for having thoughts n feelings #how long before u turn on me and say the same thing for different thoughts n feelings #i dont trust people like that i dont like that #have u ever wondered why verbal/physical/sexual abuse are all real terms but thought abuse isn't #its because thoughts cannot abuse you #that's because thoughts exist outside reality and thinking something does not make it happen #it would be cool if people had telekenesis but i digress people DONT #i wonder what ppl expect when they say go to therapy for ppl theyve convicted in the court of fools as thoughtcrimers #like conversion therapy or? #because a good therapist if u come to them w thoughts ur guilty ab will ask you first 'who is this hurting' #and if the answer is no one or 'just me' the solution is to work on the guilt complex and understand that ur thoughts arent actions #literally the solution is to realize this basic thing #a therapist cannot and should not try to make you 'normal' #thats not what therapy is for #therapists want to make a plan with you as to how to deal with your thoughts and feelings in ways that work best for you without hurting you #or anyone else #you dont fight depression by trying to convince someone theyre wrong and their life isnt bad enough to end it #you fight depression by giving someone the tools and a plan to protect themselves from the thoughts and feelings that distress them #and by helping them accept themselves and fix anything in life thats bothering them #but you don't deal with trauma by telling someone they shouldnt feel like that and you dont deal w anything else like that either #idk point is #u dont go to therapy to be fixed u go to therapy to find out how to live a happier and healthier life #any therapist who claims they can fix whatever you think is wrong with you you should run far far away from #the point of therapy for people w paraphilias is to figure out how to cope and minimize any risk to the person or anyone around them #if its affecting day to day life

[free-my-mindd]

If someone genuinely wants you it’ll reflect in their actions, it’s that simple.

#text post #my thoughts #actions speak louder than words

[bonefall]

Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.

It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.

#No patience. Wither and rot. #These motherfuckers dogpiled the legend who leaked the no fly list because it identified as the wrong type of lesbian. #They will attack the people doing DIRECT ACTION over dumbfuck label discourse. Deeply unserious people. #Embarrassing to think that there are rubes out there who keep falling for this #For ALL our sakes I hope this is literally their first rodeos and they really haven't fallen for this bullshit twice. #But unfortunately I'm too old to be that hopeful. #I didn't get to see the big ''public block list'' made for us dirty queers who support or are bi/mspec lesbians but I hope I was on it #If a man is best judged by his enemies then exclusionists who echo terf rhetoric are the ones I WANT to have. #And ''public lesbian block list'' is in quotes because if you REALLY thought that such a thing wasn't a ''GO HARASS THESE PEOPLE'' charter- #--then you have a black mold where your brain used to be and it's rapidly eating into the bathroom tile you call a skull #Unironically you should not have a platform if you are THAT stupid or malicious to think it was anything BUT a harassment charter #I hope they're ashamed. #Context for those unaware: a flesh-eating amoeba created a public blocklist for people who supported bi lesbians #Minors and extremely small creators without big platforms were on that list #People got harassed but the most namely was Lockandkeyhyena who had people raiding his server with racial slurs and death threats. #I hope everyone involved sees who their ''allies'' are when they spread that sentiment. #A bunch of people ACTUALLY 'invading someone's space' to post the n-word and suicidebait. #THAT is who you appeal to. Sit with that.

[beif0ngs]

everyone on tumblr @Buggy the 🤡 right now 

#One Piece #opgraphics #One Piece Live Action #Roronoa Zoro #Buggy #Buggy the Clown #OPLA #oplaedit #One Piece Netflix #Mackenyu #Jeff Ward #*mine #just wanted to gif these scenes of Mackenyu as Zoro cussing out Buggy lmao #so yeah i watched the OPLA... #and i can now TRULY say that this isn't for me #honestly i had to fast forward/skip through a TON of scenes bc the level of secondhand embarrassment is real 😬😬 #never been a fan of anime live action adaptions and i stand by my prev thoughts of One Piece being adapted into a live action series #like i still found a lot of the acting and dialogue super cringey when being uttered by people irl #and i'm unable to get emotionally invested in these characters at all in the live action series #but hey at least it wasn't as terrible as i thought it would be