#this will never be s normal art blog because i am obsessed with getting a t dick

[kynimdraws]

INFO POST

Name: Kylee (they/them). 30+

A totally normal Korean American mostly known for my drawings, specifically my Pokemon nuzlocke comics. But I will talk about other things on occasion because I do have periods of being fixated on certain topics. I also am a doctor!

Interests: Pokemon, League of Legends (everything except the game lmao), Fire Emblem, Advance Wars, Animal Crossing, Mother series, Korean history/culture, character design

General FYIs: 

General inquiries/commission work/etc should be sent thru kynimdraws [at] gmail [dot] com! Tumblr messaging/asks/etc is not 100% reliable

I will not follow NSFW accounts but I am fine talking/interacting with them. There may be suggestive shitposting but I like keeping my content on the SFW side

I am VERY picky about who I follow/interact with online. Fandom content in particular is a minefield for me aka I have many things I dislike and don’t want to see, even if it might be a popular thing in media that I otherwise enjoy. Therefore, I will unfollow/block/mute liberally. There are times I accidentally block a blog bc I mistake them for bots. So if you got hit with that, just send me an ask or email me

I am very open about what I like and dislike, and none of those things are a direct attack on your sensibilities. I have never gone out of my way to directly send hate or whatever have you if I end up seeing shit I don’t like. My complaints in my little online space ain't a personal attack on you.

My ask/submission box/DMs  are open for criticisms if you have any issues you want to resolve in private. No one is perfect and I may have done ignorant shit that needs to be pointed out. I have deleted or edited posts in the past if people tell me what I did wrong. PS I get that some of my stuff may upset you, but try to act civil when pointing shit out please.

I try to tag all my things whenever I can. Again, send me a message if anything bothers you. I am all for good debate but if you send me excessive hate or threats bc I have different opinions about matters that are trivial, I will block/delete them.

If you wish to use any of my hcs, please credit me. And if you are comfortable with it, send me the works so I can check them out! Or @ me if that is easier.

---

FIRE EMBLEM FYI: Specifically for 3Houses/3Hopes because I need a separate one for this franchise specificially given how many crazy things I got due to being involved in this fanbase via my fanworks:

DO NOT try to convince me to like or tolerate Byleth/student ships, ESPECIALLY the ones with the lords (aka CIaude, Dimitri, EdeIgard). I already summarized why I don’t like FE3H Byleth ships with student chars here. While the spinoff game FEW3H has now removed that teacher/student problematic situation, the fandom keeps putting the FE3H elements into the FEW3H fanworks (i.e. remembering Byleth from “another life” trope)...so no thanks!! DO NOT SHOW ME IT!!!

As for the Byleth ships with faculty members, my response is here so don’t try to bait me about that topic either thanks.

I do not care whom you ingame S-support. 3Houses limits the dating-sim part of the game to that character, so I cannot care less about how you play the game. The main issue I have is when people treat Byleth the “character” as a legit ship material when I personally think they are a cool character ruined by fans who are too obsessed with badly executed self insert otome tropes bc they self-project super hard onto them. Just to be clear, any FE3H or FEW3H OC/Canon >>>>>>Byleth ships personally. Even Byleth-sonas that remove the teacher/student aspects are better than canon FE3H!Byleth

Please don't drag FE VA statements as some sort of “gotcha” on my opinions like this post here. IDC what other people prefer with ship shit, that’s their problem and not mine. I am not gonna bother them about it. So don’t bother ME about it.

---

Links to check out:

Myths of Unova + Episode Grey (Pkmn White/White2 Comic)

Tales of Sinnoh (Pkmn Diamond Comic)

Art Site (Portfolio)

Twitter 

Instagram 

#psa post #pinned info post lol #updating this for myself and also to use the “do not reblog” feature from the get-go this way

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Pharaoh’s Cool New Trick

Digging my way through quite a pile of commission work (funny how these things only come all at once or not at all), nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, was looking forward to some free time to catch up on my many little side projects when I was asked to take off for a weekend to do some cat-sitting to which I would NEVER say no to a cat, so like...Rip this blog I guess, we only update like once a week nowadays, but what do you do?

That’s right, play Puzzles and Dragons! The only phone game worth paying any attention to! Where they just released Pegasus on their Yugioh Collab and he looks pretty great!

So I’m just gonna take a second for some art appreciation, because the Puzzles and Dragons art team is just A++++ honestly, and yes, I did pull 13 times to get a Pegasus in my monster box, and yes, he is a completely insane team leader that is absolutely broken when paired with Yugi (the numbers are so satisfying) but...look at him. He looks so good!

(also I finally got Joey Wheeler, and so now my gatcha cravings are settled. And, don’t worry, I play this game so much that I was there during Christmas when they offered like a bajillion stones for free so I didn’t actually use real money on this.)

Now PAD also released a Weevil and Rex, and I don’t know why, and neither does the art team because they still look pretty good but in comparison to all the mains, they sure do looks like just some shorty guys in some casuals.

though I gotta admit, I want to learn how the hell this art team does swooshy effects, because man, that would make my art so much better to just have flames violently exploding out of all my art. Why am I not doing that more often? I have the technology.

anyway, I didn’t bother trying to pull them. Maybe I’ll accidentally pull them when they eventually release a Duke Devlin. (also, RIP to the fact that Roland will probably never be in Puzzles and Dragons but like...I can only send them so many polite letters covered in stickers pretending I’m some 10 year old child and writing in my broken Hiragana “Roland in PAD?”. Thems the breaks. (They also might not remember who Roland is.))

Shoutouts to the card that Weevil is holding that is censoring this nipple on the booby spider, PS.

So because this is not actually a Puzzles and Dragons blog, and it’s been ten eons since I regularly updated so I could remember episode to episode...where the hell were we?

That’s right, we’re on an island now. This show’s wonderful obsession with evil islands (and spoiler, this is one of the few Yugioh Islands that doesn’t explode at the end. Mostly because Kaiba isn’t here to do it or this place would be cinder)

(read more island stuff under the cut)

Anyway, after announcing “hey guys! Screw islands!” Yugi immediately collapses and without any warning.

Apparently the armor is a big ol parasite, which is something that Yugi is so used to at this point that he refuses to admit that this is a problem. Just normal Muto stuff, refusing to tell anyone that he has a serious illness going on underneath that giant mass of hair.

(the sailor moon vibes coming off this weird orb energy)

Sort of feels like a call back to S1 when Yugi was clearly possessed and everyone else was like “He acting weird to you?” except it’s S5 and everyone has learned to never trust Yugi when he says he’s fine and they are responding like he is about to die. Which is correct.

Outside of the cave falls this scroll that is...glowing, I guess. So they open it up and get a bunch of hieroglyphs that give them the “riddle of light” and like youknow...it’s riddle stuff.

They’re doing this riddle for “wings.” And it’s like...everyone’s monster here has a set of wings or an ability to fly. Every single monster except for I dunno, flaming swordsman? Hell, Yugi himself had two sets of wings when he fused with Dark Magician (which was weird, and I still don’t like to think about what technically was going on there.) But we have to go and get ourselves even more wings.

Weirdly, Joey turns to Tea and does something that in any other show would be completely normal. He was like “you want to stay here with Yugi, don’t you?” and it was the first time Joey has ever actually addressed the fact that Tea and Yugi are close. Uncharted territory. I was amazed at the amount of casual shipping that is happening here. It’s almost like a normal ass relationship.

So the boys decide to go off, and be boys and tackle this themselves. And they shouldn’t have, because Tea is smart for this group, and also has the only healing spell.

Like if you’re playing D+D you wouldn’t typically leave your only healer behind. Just saying.

Also like...Grandpa Muto went with them? I guess he’d have to since he’s the translator but also...kind of weird to leave your grandson dying in a cave, but maybe that’s just the Muto lifestyle.

Do not be fooled by my caps, no one has addressed the Bakura in the puzzle for 3 seasons. I’m starting to think this show will never address the Bakura in the puzzle. Which honestly, that would be hilarious if they made a big deal out of that plot point and then couldn’t use it in the end.

And speaking of plot points that kind of come out of nowhere and don’t make full sense with the continuity of the show--Joey has regressed back to the 4th grade.

Hey show? What?

So like if you love Joey, this is not the arc for you, because this arc he is reduced to a Himbo and nothing else. Straight up didn’t know what an echo is, but is very strong and pretty, I guess.

This inevitably happens with any TV show becuase different people make different parts, and I’ve brought up before that sometimes it feels like some teams only have loose post-it notes of what any character should be like at any given point (ESPECIALLY with Seto Kaiba’s timeline) but like...

...Personally I’m mot so fond of this interpretation of Joey, kind of ignores Joey’s best traits, and makes Tristan look way too smart in comparison (and like I always pinned Tristan to be the Himbo of the group, but maybe it’s because they give Tristan so little else to do?)

And like don’t get me wrong, Joey’s a dumbass a lot of the time and needs to get corrected by his pals...but...to the point he doesn’t know what an echo is? He’s a dumbass in a High School student sort of way, youknow?

Anyway, they get down to this big ravine, and they have to destroy this stone while the light passes over it. Kind of feels like a Breath of the Wild shrine quest, actually. In fact, I think Breath of the Wild recycled the shadow/sunlight pathing quest like 4 or 5 times. (I love Breath of the Wild to death but boy did they run out of ideas at the end there.)

They have to fight a glass monster and it’s kind of like...do you know the game Balls 3D? probably not, but it looked like a bunch of random shapes stuck together like a 90′s animation. They basically went to war with shapes.

Pure Himbo energy, has several pokemon, but punches for his pokemon instead of using them. A power move if I ever saw one.

Youknow that would make pokemon a lot more interesting if you could like throw out your pikachu, and then choose to just physically run up to your opponents Eevee and sock it in the jaw. Raise of hands--I know you all would love a version of pokemon like that. Let Ash Ketchum punch a Ratata.

Bro has informed me that Ash does do something like this in the anime. But I’m not talking about the anime, I’m talking about the video game. Give me the option to physically combat my rival. This is what I want, Pokemon.

They discover a way to break the monolith, and the show thinks we’re like actually 7 years old (because the show is Y7, although I forget because it deals with so many dark themes) so the show is going to hold on to this puzzle for a while...just to fill time. And it’s fine because we gotta switch over to Pharaoh anyway.

Yami has this dream again. He attempts to fuse with Dark magician to overcome the dream, but alas, he is still not strong enough.

Yugi wakes up in this murky cave while Tea is out washing out like...some rag? (he’s also still got a rag, so I guess multiple rags were required for how sweaty Yugi is.)

Yugi says “I feel like I’m a new man!” a lot in this episode, and every time he calls himself a man like he’s some sort of adult it’s very funny to me.

And then this plot lore dropped.

I mean I guess inevitably it had to happen...

But man, end of an era. It was freakin hilarious while it lasted: that Pharaoh refused to read ancient Egyptian because it’s like 2002 and he is a High Schooler living in Japan and he actually doesn’t WANT to resolve the mystery of the puzzle. Maybe the people who made this arc don’t know about how in S2 and S3, the fact Pharaoh couldn’t read Marik’s back tatt was like...a really big issue. He couldn’t read the God card, he couldn’t even read that massive tablet that read “HEY PHARAOH THIS IS LITERALLY YOU”. KAIBA had to tell him how to read the God card for him. Freakin Seto “Magic is a lie” Kaiba had to tell him how to use the God Card because Pharaoh couldn’t read it.

But like...Pharaoh finally gave in at some point after the world was devoured by the Leviathan, and before Kaiba finished building Kaibaland (which was already built in S1 but wtv)

The timelines on this show have always been a mishmash...but this one is just like...

...show are you trying to convince me that at any point in this show after season Zero, Pharaoh had any idea what he was doing? Did he sap that brain energy straight out of Joey Wheeler so he could do this?

Wow.

(secretly hoping he forgets how to read Egyptian after this arc is over and the show goes back to the other development team)

Pharaohs reasoning is that, if this is the riddle of the light.....

....then where is the riddle of darkness????????????

and when Tea was like “Pharaoh that is not even remotely logic. Omg it’s so bright outside, lets go back to gross cave.” and Pharaoh was like “Tea! You got it!” and she was like “What the hell are you talking about?”

Not gonna lie, I saw the Orichalcos green, and I got concerned.

Anyway, Yugi gets very frustrated and was like “ugh, lets go save em. They’re gonna die (again.)” and marches down there as if he didn’t pass out an hour ago.

And he fuses with Dark Magician again while everyone else (including his grandpa) was like “Yugi are you freakin kidding me? The suit freakin kills you omg! Tea you had one freakin job!”

And then we get the plot twist that...I mean it makes sense but it was choreographed in a confusing way.

And out of no where this guy shows up again:

So this mysterious man shows up and says “If you don’t succeed you have to live here forever” which...nice...that would probably save the world a lot of problems if Yami got locked away and took his OP puzzle with him. And then this man also says “if you do succeed you become VERY POWERFUL” and Yami was like. “...”

This whole episode had a theme to it, where Tristan and Joey were trying to prove that they could do things on their own and without Yugi’s help. And honestly...felt a little bit misplaced. Yami’s the same guy who murdered Yugi last season with the Orichalcos so like...

...I mean he is probably more reliable than Tristan who once died and turned into a robot monkey for 10ish episodes.

and then they flew into a glowing door.

Folks, this was wild to look at.

This is wild.

And at this point I closed Photoshop and thought I was done. But then I looked at my timeline on the video and was like...wait...there’s more?

and I’m really glad I kept watching because it went back to Alex, who...is apparently just still at those steps in this haunted ass Pyramid.

Now we’re watching Yugioh.

I forgot for a second when they turned Joey into a Himbo and made Pharaoh literate, but we’re back. I mean...

...look at the liner art on this adult man.

So...I posit the question...has Alex spent the last 2-3 episodes doing nothing but applying eyeliner to his face in the dark? Because he absolutely has. And honestly, the vibe of being in a spooky haunted pyramid with barely any light, just applying eyeliner down the edge of your face...that’s a Yugioh vibe, if I ever saw one.

This arc is wild. Anyway, next episode we do even more fetch quests and riddles? Just going to guess now that we probably will.

(and for those new here, this is a link so you can read them from the top. Which, since we’re in S5, means you got like...hours of Yugioh content to read through. Enjoy the rewards of my weird hobby.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#Yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #yami yugi #S5 #Ep20 #It's actually Ep 20 now I was wrong last time #Yugi muto #Grandpa Muto #Alexander the Great #Joey Wheeler #Tristan Taylor #Tea Gardner #TeaxYugi #never thought I would ever use that tag #in this show where they are canonically dating but sometimes it happens #Puzzles and Dragons #Because yes I had to talk about it. This collab is great

[echoweaver]

Your thoughts on the Sims 1-4

Guess I’m in the mood to do these. Grabbing a tag from @mosneakers​.

Sims 1: The big thing I remember about this game is that it could take your sim hours to cross from one end of the house to the other. Thus, if the sim got up at the normal one-hour-before-work, they often wouldn’t have time to both pee and eat. I got obsessed with designing and efficient house, with the kitchen right outside the bedroom door, so that my sims could get to work with the best mood. 

Then I let the garden go bad, and it would destroy my sims’ mood on the way to the carpool, and it took me forever to figure out what was going on :-D

Sim 2: I remember being thrilled by how much easier it was for sims to get around their house. The introduction of lifespans intrigued me. However, I hadn’t really figured out what I wanted to DO with this sandbox game yet. Playing Sims gets boring if you don’t have some kind of a goal. I’d never heard of a generational challenge, much less rotational gameplay, and I hadn’t plugged into the fan community yet.

I did dabble in mods -- mostly the mod to drastically increase the chance of a sim being abducted when using the telescope so I could make alien babies. I built a household from two CAS-built sisters who were of different races. One of them married a man, and the other a woman, and then I got frustrated that the lesbian couple couldn’t make babies. They adopted, but I was annoyed by how genetically boring their adopted son was. Then I got obsessed with trying to get one of the lesbians to cheat on her spouse to make a baby without being discovered. Where is artificial insemination when you need it?

Later, I created a new sim who married into the Broke family. I got bored and tried to starve Dustin to death to make a ghost. when I removed the door to his bedroom and his needs got very low, he got down on his knees to beg the Watcher for his life. I felt so guilty that I actually turned off the game and never went back!

Sims 3:  This is where it happened for me. Open world and a town that aged with my active household just better matches the way I imagine playing. I even figured out generational play, at least somewhat, before really plugging into the fan community.

I didn’t realize until reading @mosneakers and @natolesims‘s memes that there was so much hate floating around for Sims 3 art style! I admit that I do dislike the child faces. I thought Sims 2 faces were too long and thin. Sims 3 faces seem to have overcompensated by being just a bit too round. Otherwise, I’m quite sure I don’t know what you guys are talking about. LOL.

I don’t think I’d still be playing if it weren’t for NRaas, though. Sims 3′s open world was pretty ambitious, and their data management was totally not up to the task. I spent years offering tech support on people’s blogs when they started to suffer data corruption in generation 2 or 3. You just can’t play without at least minimal mods to clean up save files. It’s unintuitive that a modded game is more stable than vanilla, but it’s just true. Sad, but true.

Sims 4: I have played this very little, not because I hate it but because I am stubbornly determined to finish my 10-generation legacy. A lot of folks just rebuilt their household in Sims 4 and continued to play. At the time Sims 4 came out, I was playing supernatural-heavy games with custom skintones, so I’d lose almost everything if I ported them over. It also turns out that it’s hard to face going from a heavily-modded, 11-expansion experience to a game with base or just one expansion. I have a lot more sympathy for Sims 2 players who skipped Sims 3 entirely.

I have a hard time facing the color presets and closed world, but the game in its current state really seems to have done great things with gameplay. If/when I get the Samples done, I’ll take a look at making the switch. Of course, by then Sims 5 will likely be out, so maybe I’ll skip....

What is your favorite Expansion pack

Generations and/or Seasons. But it’s really hard to choose.

Small pets or Horses?

I really,  really love Sims 3 horses. Since I’m modding pets, it can probably be guessed that I like the animals in general :).

What is your favorite active career?

Yes.

I have had a ton of fun with almost all active careers. If forced to choose, I might go for firefighter.

What is your favorite Lifetime Wish?

Buh. I really dug the Photography one I guess. I just like doing different ones.

Whims or Wants?

I’m sorry. I have no idea what this question even means (blush).

What is your favorite Occult?

I feel like all the occults in TS3 are kind of underdeveloped. That said, witches are pretty cool.

Cowplants, Bonehilda, or the Social Bunny?

Bonehilda

How do you pick your sims names?

I am absolutely OBSESSED with names. I’m sorry I only got to name one flesh-and-blood child, so I let it all out in naming my simmies. I get into the head of the parent(s) and come up with lists from whatever they would like. My saves are very gameplay-directed, and tend to randomize most traits, so I intentionally don’t build a sim to a name or try to make a sim’s name suit their personality at all. After all, when we name our children, we get no say over who they eventually become :).

Do you create a spouse for a sim, or do you go after a townie?

Townie! My gaming style is heavily gameplay-oriented. I want my sims to choose their partner using wishes and attraction and whatever else the game provides. However, I also am incredibly interested in genetic experimentation, so I do allow myself to change the physical appearance of some sims before making babies with them if they are too bland. I populated my Samples save from scratch, largely using downloaded simalikes of real people. I have NRaas set to use existing sims in the town or in my sim bin, to generate new ones. So basically I do my best to have the most interesting genetics pool I can so I don’t need to edit faces.

Do you prefer to follow storytelling Simblrs, or do your prefer gameplay Simblrs?

I’m not totally sure what this is asking either :-D. Are “storytelling” simblrs the ones that largely use the game as an artistic medium for screenshots using poses and whatnot? My play style is to play the game and build stories from it, so I’m not entirely sure what category I fall into myself.

I suppose it doesn’t matter because I follow both. I’m not terribly drawn to dressup challenges and lookbooks.

What year did you join Tumblr/Simblr?

I have absolutely no friggin idea. I tried to look back in my email archive to track notifications, and that failed. I came back after three years, so it has to be at least for years before I returned....?

#echoweaver #memes #sims #get to know you

[welcome-to-the-cafe]

SHANG-CHI (2021) Review Pt. 3

This section will focus more on the potential cultural impact and reflections of the movie.

Good things first. This was a great movie for Asian-American representation. On face value, it was a huge rather well-promoted movie (in my opinion, but that could just be my algorithms) under arguably the most internationally renown franchise today, Marvel. It featured empowered and attractive Asian male leads, empowered and attractive Asian female leads, a glorious, dreamy romance between two of them, and multiple humanizing familial relationships that don't simply recycle the old "modern freedom vs oppressive tradition". Each Asian character is a fully fleshed person, as is due, and clear authentic effort is made to celebrate their backgrounds, from the action to settings to costumes to language to the jokes.

And the Asian-American jokes land very well, especially the ones that highlight how different each individual Asian-American 's experience, and familiarity with their heritage, can be. Central to this is Katy, of course, essentially the audience surrogate, the audience being both nonAsians and "standard" Asian-Americans. She is bad at Chinese, even as her own grandmother speaks it. She defies her mom's (gentle) expectations of her, she is amazed and somewhat intimidated by her heritage in full form. The other characters who are closer to their native culture are gentle with her unfamiliarity: Shang-Chi walks her through pronunciation, Ronny Chieng's character assures her "Don't worry I speak ABC", and even Wenwu treats her kindly as a guest, and doesn't put her down for her Americanness. Well other than the patronizing storytelling tone, but that's the villainous patronizing, not the "you are uncultured" patronizing. Even in the village, they look down on her mostly on account of her not having martial arts skills and being ambitionless, than of her Americanness.

Similarly, Shang-Chi's struggle with his father did not use his time in America, and his potential Americanizing, as much of a pain point. I appreciate this, and the gentleness to Katy, greatly, as it dances around the culture conflict narrative that so frequently plagues other Asian American media (looking at you Crazy Rich Asians). As such, Wenwu is not evil because he is more Chinese/traditional, he is so because of the very human pain of losing his wife. Also he was a ruthless immortal warlord. And his children are not good due to their separation from their heritage; they are good because of their ties to each other and their mother, and her heritage from the village, which also traditional. Like an equation, the culture on the good and bad sides cancel out, and you are left with a largely culture-neutral narrative, while Chinese culture itself is shown off more.

Most of the characters are Asian, the non-Asians are very tertiary. In this, the movie functions as normal Asian media does; in removing the racial differences, the characters level with each other as people, instead of as representatives of their heritage. Speaking of native Asian media, I will now explain how this movie, for all of its virtues, will still serve the same ultimate function as Crazy Rich Asians and Mulan in terms of cross-national relations.

This was an American movie. Featuring Asian culture, yes. But an American movie nonetheless. Its action scenes would probably stand up well against native Chinese media, but its overarching presentation would be seen as incredibly cheesy, and probably somewhat patronizing, to a Chinese viewer. What are those costumes? What are those Ta Lo "traditional clothes"? Straw Huts? Why the fuck does Death Dealer have face paint? What are those ridiculous hook swords and tassle helmets? Oh hey its the mythical beasts they see in every wuxia fantasy movie.

I liked a comparison I read on social media; it is like presenting orange chicken as a dish specially made for your Chinese guest. The dish may be good, but that is besides the point; it is insulting for you to expect them to appreciate your facsimile of their culture. In this metaphorical scenario, you may be a Chinese-American, but your weird attempt to reference your heritage only highlights the divide. They eat better Chinese food all the time anyways, this orange chicken may be a direct downgrade. Did you expect them to be happy just because you, the American, made it for them? Are you looking down on them?

It is better for you to make a pizza or a fettuccini alfredo for them. This equivalent would be the World of Warcraft movie, with no Asian references whatsoever.

I remember when Avatar: The Last Airbender came out, and my 3rd grade self was so excited to see the Chinese armor designs on the fire nation, the kung-fu inspired bending styles, and more. But now, I feel a bit strange seeing how much obsession is given to this series by the Asian-American community. For all its acclaim and AsAm representation, it is virtually unknown to native Asians, unlike the notorious Resident Evil live-action movie series. I wonder, if most Chinese-Americans had watched more Chinese wuxia and fantasy, they would be as excited about ATLA?

This is also related to how Westerners are discovering Tony Leung for the first time, and some Asians say "we been knew". But how many AsAm actually did know? For how many Asian-Americans did it take Shang-Chi to introduce them to this legend, and his previous body of work?

Why was I so excited to be represented in a cartoon, even if I did watch Journey to the West growing up? Could it be because finally it was something with Asians in it that the kids around me also watched? Maybe. I could go on and on about Sun Wukong, but nobody cared, while Prince Zuko was somebody everyone knew and rooted for.

So in this way, Shang-Chi, despite being mildly offensive to the motherland (for which the movie does not even have a release date), is still very important and positive to us stateside. I feel a little bad for Simu that his homeland may not appreciate his greatest work so far, but maybe it doesn't bother him that much; he is now a hero to almost the entire Asian-American community. I hope Tony Leung can be the movie's saving grace for native markets. I also hope that Chinese watchers would understand why this movie is important for the diaspora, even if they don't enjoy the movie itself.

Oh, and finally, I hope Chinese-Americans don't hold their motherland in contempt for disliking this movie. It's not for them! Cut them the slack! And go watch their movies and media! It may not have jokes about the immigrant experience, but it is effective representation. Watch Asian movies! With your family, with your friends! Western media is not the center of the universe, and it never deserved to be. Put more people who look like you on your own screen.

I saw a lot of Tiktoks of nonAsians (and Asians) doing kung-fu moves coming out of the theater. I...am not sure about this? I guess martial arts is once more the vehicle by which we get positive representation in Western media, as is tradition. The legacy of Bruce Lee, of Jackie Chan, of Jet Li. Should I celebrate? Martial arts are dope as fuck but...that's not all we are...well. The appropriate tropey thing to say is: "This is just the beginning."

Part 4 will be my rewrite ideas. I will write it on my blog and link it here later.

#shang-chi #asian american #asian american representation #kevin watches #simu liu #awkwafina #tony leung #menger zhang #michelle yeoh

[micallum]

Thank you for tagging me @safetycarlando!! and I guess it's my time to shine and babble about myself!

I think it's only fair I toss the ball over to @oscar-piastri, @alles--oder-nichts and this time I am curious for @mahixa so if you guys feel like doing it I'll stay put, otherwise, it's fine too.

What colour are your eyes? brown.

What instantly tells you if a person is good? how they speak about themselves and if animals like them. Also years of knowing them help.

Do you have a recurring dream? I dream of a huge castle with many many rooms and staircases. I used to dream of falling pretty often as well.

What is the most interesting class you have taken? when I was in uni I took a film appreciation class and it was great (I got a 3 tho). Learning phonetics was also fun.

How often do you find yourself day dreaming? Not that often! I drift into that blank space in my mind instead. When I daydream it's kind of consciously.

Name/Nickname: Maria. I know, bland 🤷‍♀️ itizzzwhatitizzzz As for the nickname, I will allow people to call me Malu, as a treat.

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Height: 168 cm hi, I'm a little gremlin.

Nationality: Mexican

Favourite colour: red

Favourite season: winter! I adore snow and being so cold you can feel your lashes when you blink.

Favourite animals: I am obsessed with meerkats.

Favourite fictional characters: have I ever mentioned my first-ever fictional crush? love of my life? Himura Kenshin? and in a more normal capacity Rin.

Tea, coffee or hot chocolate?: I love both tea and coffee, but I find myself brewing coffee a lot lately.

Average hours of sleep?: I need only a few, like I can do with 5-6 hrs but only if I get to sleep all the way till noon on Saturday.

Cat or dog person: Dog person, but I'll play with your cat.

Number of blankets slept with: So besides bedsheets and duvet, I do not sleep with a blanket. During winter I do sleep under one big fluffy blanket.

Places ancestors are from: well, I know one of my great-grandpas from my mother's side was from Italy and the other one... there is a family debate about because my grandma never really knew if he was Turkish or Spanish and my grandpa didn't speak a lot about his parents. People who knew him used to say he looked Turkish but I think they were being 1940's racist.

Dream trip: I would love to visit Japan but I do not dare without knowing the language first. I just love Japanese art and culture. I want to go to New Zealand as well but let's get over covid first...

Blog established: Like... yesterday? Not sure, it's been a few months.

Random fact about yourself: I'm really bad at taking care of a phone. I have changed the protective glass on my screen three times in two years... I swear I am not clumsy, this only happens to me with phones.

Three ships: carlando, sebchal, and (don't look at me) hikaharu.

Last song: Bailo x fuera lloro x dentro by Blackpanda

Last movie: Frantz (François Ozon) I recomment it 🙌🏻

Currently reading: Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Currently watching: Okay, so I am currently watching "bake squad" and "post-mortem: no one dies in skarnes".

Currently craving: Human contact? I miss life pre-covid.

#if you guys do not want to do it you do not have to #thanks for tagging me lia I did not expect it #hope you can make sense of my ramblings and myself

[mptim]

07/06/21 ; fleur de glace

❛ élixir ❜

⤿ with his partner/rival/best friend saint hospitalised due to an injury he sustained during a skating competition (which put his career on the line), tim decided to take a break from his athletic activities to honour his friend and to cope with overwhelming feelings. he fired his skating instructor (who was hired by his parents) and wants to look for a new one on mount phoenix. he wants to focus on his artistic career this summer, he has signed up to help curate the museum, and is looking for artistic projects to pass the time. he is working on a few assignments, and is looking for people to model for him for said assignments. he wants to spend more time with his close friends and half-brothers, and at some point he wants to go camping. he will help saint with his recovery, and eventually return to his regular athletic schedule once his partner is feeling better or has healed.

❛ renaissance ❜

⤿ more or less, tim is the same dramatic, seductive and fun person he has always been. however, he might be more sarcastic, and even cold or detached at times. he will go through mood drops and mood changes, and he might shut himself in for a while if he feels like things are too overwhelming. the change will be especially evident to those who are close to him (the others might attribute it to his bad temper). he is calmer when getting furious, which automatically makes him scarier, intimidating and more dangerous. he is a storm threatening to rip all trees from their roots. people will have to be careful not to step on a very wrong toe (he especially does not want to talk about it) unless they want him to react unpredictably.

❛ miroir ❜

⤿ tim has dyed his hair dark brown/black because he needed a drastic change (it is also a sign of ‘mourning’, yes he is that dramatic).

⤿ tim’s powers have enhanced, and are going through a development as well. hence, they will progressively affect his physical appearance, especially his eyes. his eye colour is naturally hazel, but it will fade to blue, grey and then to white. his eye sight will get worse and he will not be able to see much after his eyes turn white. this is temporary, because once his powers adjust, his eyes will go back to their normal colour and he will be able to see again. tim will hide his eye-colour with contact lenses, but close people will eventually find out.

⤿ tim’s powers will affect his body temperature. it has always been low, but now it will go lower, until frost flowers will form on his body (especially shoulders, lashes, the ends of his hair, and sternum). his frostbites will turn blue instead of purple, and his lips might be paler at times due to the cold. the cold will leave him with some scars (ice flowered patterned ones in particular), but he will try to hide them. it is unsure if the scars will disappear.

⤿ his hair will fade to silver and it will never change back to its natural dark colour. this is the slowest change, and it will only happen at the end of the year (specifically during the winter season). once his hair turns silver, tim will no longer be able to dye it any other colour longer than a day (it will simply rinse off).

❛ cœur ❜

⤿ mental mood changes (with episodes of complete desperation); his mental health is poor, but he is hiding it by pushing his worries away and by working on other things; for him, the entire situation feels like death so he is processing his grief

⤿ physical lower stamina for sports; he often feels tired, and his sleep is worse too (he gets insomnia more often, and when he does fall asleep, he tends to walk and talk in his sleep); surprisingly, his strength is greater but he cannot use it for a long period of time (he might have days when he can lift mountains, and days when he cannot even lift his foot)

⤿ eventually, once his body adjusts to the increased powers and to the situation, both his physical and mental health will improve

❛ visions ❜

⤿ to prevent my muse from dropping again, I will only accept a limited amount of new threads that have to fill one of the following connections. any connection that is not listed but is pivotal to tim’s development is welcomed! I would prefer to have new threads with people/characters tim has never interacted with before (especially to help newer members/characters out!). feel free to reach out to me in private (or on discord) if any of the following connections would be interesting for your muse. everything is up for discussion, I am flexible! the connections are opened to any gender/gender identity, age and pantheon. this is just a simple guide with the idea/s I had:

skating instructor (0/1)

✎ tim’s old instructor was fired, and he is actively searching for a new one to prepare him for the winter season. he is picky, and he might get into conflicts with this person at first, might even reject them, but eventually tim will accept them.

𐐪 bruised knees, bandages, cold shoulders, silk

muse (1/2)

✎ tim has a keen eye for everything pretty, fragile and destructive. he needs new sources for inspiration and he thinks @mpxharper (sculpting) has the perfect proportions for clay, and muse 2 (photography) has the prettiest eyes for his lenses.

𐐪 nudes, soft browns, welting flowers, blindfolds

art project partner (0/1)

✎ tim is not a team player, but he finds that spending his time with someone might not be that bad after all. the art project he ends up working on requires a partner, and tim found the perfect person. their art works harmoniously with tim’s, and he could not have asked for more.  

𐐪 pinkie fingers, orchids, painted cheeks, patches

photography partner (0/1)

✎ call it rivalry, or artistic difference – ‘partner’ is the last thing tim would call this person. they are too different, they see the world through the same lenses but broken into pieces. will they be able to solve their differences or will they call it quits?

𐐪 red lips, polaroid, summer romance, sheets

frenemy (0/1)

✎ they just met, but hate at first sight is a thing – or at least in tim’s eyes, it is. whether it is a professional quarrel, or something else, they seem to get along one second then hate each other with a passion. naturally, they start playing, and tim is only too sure the game is all his.

𐐪 chess, ripped shirts, stargazing, ribbons

fan/stalker (0/1)

✎ this person is obsessed with tim, and thinks that him taking a break from skating is the absolute worst thing he could ever do. instead of respecting his decision, they start following him, and actively intervene in tim’s life just to get the attention they so crave.

𐐪 lenses, knives, tiles, fast cars

❛ le reste ❜

⤿ how does this affect on-going threads? it is not going to affect them at all! on-going threads belong to the past and will be finalised in the past (i.e. before saint’s fall).

⤿ how does this affect future threads? everything that was mentioned above has to be taken into consideration, especially if our characters have interacted in the past or have some sort of established connection! this development will influence any new connection that tim will have.

⤿ relevant tags / threads saint’s self-paragraph describing the accident (x), self-paragraph depicting tim’s feelings about his friend’s accident (x), thread following the events after saint’s injury (x)

this development is only possible because of the inspiration @mpsaint‘s mun has given me, so thank you! ♥ I have changed the blog’s graphics to fit the character development. you can check it out HERE (better on desk). I am excited to write with this version of tim! ♥

#❅ : upd #❅ : dev #❅ : wan #( cut it only because it was long! )

[superconfusedandreadytorumble]

It is the 23rd July, 2021. The summer heats have finally subsided, the morrows now cool giving us normal folk the ability to catch a breather before the work begins anew. The harvest is-

Yeah no, enough of this. It is the day it is but truth be told all this post is supposed to be is an answer to my darling @laninlurks who has tagged me back in March and did not even have the decency to tell me personally! Yeah girl, how dare you! You know I´m not tech-savvy, I´m old. Well at least I feel like it in my head...

So here I go, playing this little game (this is considered a game, right? I have absolutely no idea. I´ve seen this kind of “introduce yourself” thingies here on tumblr but this is the first time I´m participating. Thanks again LANIN!)

Well, let´s get over this:

Name/Nickname: uhhhhh... Yeah, no I know how this goes. Name equals power so you fae can forget it, I ain´t buying this. You shall have no power over me. Ha! As if I´d fall for such a cheap trick. Hahaha! Nah, but on a serious note I really did not think of anything what people coul call me here... I guess Superconfused works?

Gender: female

Height: 5´8″ (thank you Google for converting cm to feet and inches)

Time: 2.55pm

Favourite Bands: Okay, let me stop you guys right there. I´m not going to go posting a ton of different band names because my music taste is very eclectic and most of the time I either do not know the name of the song/band that I´m into. If I hear it and my brain starts projecting a story it´s a good song for me.

Favourite solo artist: *looks up to the previous point* Yeah, you guys get the message

Song stuck in my head: Ohhh now that is easy! It is currently a mix between “A whole new World” from Aladdin (1992), “Save your Tears” by The Weekend feat. Ariana Grande, “Plastic Hearts” by Miley Cyrus and “Racing into the Night” by YOASOBI

Last Movie: The Avengers: Endgame

Last Show: Loki

When did I create this blog: Good heavens, I have absolutely no idea... Lanin, you´ll probably know that... can I check this somewhere? Somehow? Eh... let´s leave it at that, I have no  clue... may have been 2 or 3 years ago

How it started: After ages of going around and sending myself link after link so I would not lose sight of great posts and until my email inbox was full, I finally decided to make myself an account. That is it. That´s the story.

How´s it going: *looks around* Good, I guess? I mean, I´m still here, so...

What I post: Ufffffffff. Everything and anything that touches or inspires me, I guess? The content here that I reblog is as eclectic as my music tastes. We got witchy stuff, fandom stuff, quotes, life lessons, you name it. I did finally get around to making an additional blog to reblog all of the wonderful pieces of fan content here and leave a comment because till now I have been very neglectful of that. But that is another story...

Aesthetic: Personal? Blog related? I have absolutely no idea... Next question please.

Last thing I googled: That would be the conversion of cm to feet, but if that does not count then it was an anatomical picture of the hymen. There was a conversation ging on in the family and I had to explain the location. It was much easier with visuals, I tell you.

Other blogs: And I just mentioned mine two paragraphs ago xD Well then there´s the @studyblr-beginner where I try to collect info on how to be a more productive student (with mixed efforts I might add) and the @stillconfusedandreadytorumble .

Following: Anything witchblr, studyblr, any blog that feeds into my current obsession of any fandom, cottagecore, academia be it light/romantic/dark, quotes, art, etc. Seriously, anything...

Followers: Eh, I think 2 or 3 poor misguided souls... Yeah, okay so I checked and apparently there´s 44 of you. 44!!!! Like guys, guys, are you okay? What are you doing here? Not that I´m not grateful but I´m also very very VERY confused right now... Hi?

Average sleep: 7 hours, if I have time to sleep in even more

Lucky number: I do not really believe in that... Although if I see a platenumber with three identical numbers beside each other I take it as a good omen

Instruments: I may have tried to learn the piano years ago but it was never really my thing

What I am wearing: an oversized shirt with the wolf medallion logo form “The Witcher” series, black shorts and a dark green dressing gown with flowers and pretty little humming birds. Yes, I´m in my sleep wear. No, I am not ashamed. The last couple of days have been hell, I´m still recuperating.

Dream job: Physician, and I´m working hard to get that damn doctors degree.

Favourite animal noise: wolves howling. That moment when it sends chills down your back, when the hairs on your arms stand? Love it and it gets me every time.

Random: If asked a question I start stuttering and mumbling and warbled bla-bla just comes out of my mouth until I try collecting my thoughts. That may take a couple of seconds though.

Dream trip: Japan, Prague, Venice, these three are from the top of my head but otherwise I´d like to travel and see the world. Yes, vague, I know but the world is big and nobody has time to write long lists about this.

Favourite food: Dumplings. Do not, I repeat, do not make me specify which dumplings cause I´ll eat or at least ry them all if given the change. I already diviate from my normal answer of “There is so much good stuff out there, I could never choose”, okay?

Nationality: Welp, before I make this any more complicated I´ll just stick to what is in my passport: AUSTRIAN 

Favourite song: May I refer you back to the paragraph that says Favourite Band/solo singer, please and thank you.

Last book I read: “Alice´s Adventures in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll

Top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: Currently it would be either Lord of the Rings, Witcher or Boku no hero academia. Ask me in 3 months and I bet with you that answer might have changed again.

Tagging: Oh boy... who am I supposed to tag that will not shoot me on sight or think of me being a total lunatic, @laninlurks you don´t count, after all you put me in this mess... Who are the last couple of ppl I had a conversation with? Oh okay, if you guys don´t want to do this, just scratch and ignore that but then again all of my 44 followers are very welcome to do this (still can´t warp my head around the amount of ppl). I´ll just tagg @lostoctaviaaugusta and @thewhit3w0lf , but again please don´t shoot on sigth. I promise I´m harmless.

Okay guys, whoever made it this far, I applaud you, cause really you deserve a medal. thank you for reading I guess and have a wonderful day.

Hugs and kisses!

#get to know me #tagg game #rambling

[roguish-gallery]

Rogues + Internet/Social Media HCs!

Hello!!! this was requested by @geniusbee I struggled a bit with the initial prompt, so I kinda broadened the question, I hope you don’t mind! Once I got the ball rolling with this one, it was super fun to work on! Thank you again for your request!

If anyone wants to, feel free to send me send me more requests! I’d love to do more of these!

Everything is under the Read More bc this got LONG AS FUCK. (Slight TW for sexual references!)

Bane:

Doesn’t use social media. point blank

He’ll surf the web mostly for research or for communication purposes, but that’s mostly it... That being said sometimes he DOES look up stuff for fun because he’s a naturally curious guy who had limited access to education for the first 20-ish years of his life. It sends him down a rabbit hole of researching weird shit and sometimes you’ll catch him up at 4:00 am looking up how bread was made in Ancient Rome or what Cock and Ball Torture is bc he heard Joker say it once and he’s never EVER fucking heard of those words strung together like that before

Also… his fingers are simply too beefy for most keyboards. Dude tryna sit down and send Scandal Savage some fun cookie recipes she could try with her GF like

 Catwoman:

Not a lot to say here but tbh she probably has the most normal internet habits of everyone. Helps to promote cat shelter’s web pages, and will use some light hacking to find the locations of fur factories and animal abusers but that’s mostly it?

If she isn’t already an influencer, she has definitely considered it. Will sometimes post selfies of her wearing stolen jewelry just to flex. Has a legion of simps.

Clayface

Unknowingly gets into kin drama without trying to

He has... so many theather blogs, musical blogs, and obscure film blogs... someone help him... somehow he regularly adds shit to ALL OF THEM. 

He’s that one bitch who hoards all the canon URLs and there’s nothing you can fucking do to stop him.

Harley Quinn:

Her computer is slow and buggy as shit because she’s got so many viruses from trying to download flash games. Edward refuses to fix her computers at this point because he knows it’s a lost cause.

She vlogs sometimes, actually! And she’ll drag her hyenas or any of the rogues/batfam/GCPD she’s hanging out with atm into it.

She likes to go onto anxiety or depression forums and anonymously leave nice, helpful advice :)

Joker:

Mostly on the dark web, doing… things that you do on the dark web...

If he’s ever on the clean web I promise it’s only to start kin drama or to dm fucked up shit to random people he finds.

Has been known to catfish when the mood strikes him

Also? He jumps onto RP forums and either plays the SHITTIEST Batman, or an eerily accurate Batman.

Killer Croc:

He likes looking up funny videos online!!! Also! Art tutorials!!

He likes to post his artwork online under a pseudonym. He doesn’t expect anyone to really pay attention to his work, but it’s always a very pleasant surprise when someone likes or leaves a nice comment on his art.

 He genuinely cherishes all of his followers and the kind interactions he shares with them.

Mad Hatter:

It’s just hat porn and hentai. I’m sorry.

Mr. Freeze:

Normal internet habits tbh. Doesn’t really go on the internet that often because he doesn’t particularly care about keeping up to date with what’s happening.

He used to have a Facebook where he’d post pictures of himself and Nora, but he can’t really do that anymore due to obvious reasons.

Penguin:

Lightly dabbles in dark web shit (for business purposes) but otherwise he’s like an old man on the internet. Checks the stock market and shit. Responds to his emails in a timely manner. He keeps track of everyone’s internet presence but that’s mostly because he enjoys drama and he doesn’t want to be out of the loop in case Eddie starts something again and he needs to know WHY Jervis and Pamela can’t be in the Iceberg at the same time without trying to kill each other.

He REFUSES to make a social media account for the Iceberg Lounge!!!! It is too classy for that!!!

Other than that, though… don’t tell anyone… but he keeps some tabs open on some 🥺🥺🥺 some bird forums and uh 🥺🥺🥺 m🥺🥺🥺 maybe some blogs he has that are all about Jane Austen and Star Trek: The Next Generation 🥺🥺🥺🥺 n-not like he LIKES Star Trek, though!!

Also in Batman #448 it shows that him and Batman canonically play chess with each other online and you know what? That’s cute as hell so I’m gonna say that they still do that.

Poison Ivy:

Surprising no one… she mostly blogs about botany

Will ONLY go onto other parts of the internet to like and share Harley, Selina, or Waylon’s posts and THAT'S IT!!!!

She is not above getting petty in the comment section!! If she finds a video of some clown over-watering their ferns she will absolutely let them know and she will not be polite about it.

Riddler:

Canonically has the best hookup and 100% is the most active online. Like yeah he does a lot of hacking shit but he uses the internet for legit stuff too.

PURPOSEFULLY looks himself up and will argue with anyone who talks smack about him on literally any of the search results. He WILL remember your username and he WILL publicly mock you for it when he freezes your laptop or when he takes over the broadcasting waves in Gotham again.

You KNOW he has a social media account for everything. He WILL talk about how smart and sexy he is and he WILL get around any attempts made to get him blocked, suspended, or banned. 

“You fool… I have 70  A L T E R N A T I V E  A C C O U N T S”

He is the self-proclaimed tech-guru of the Rogues. He WILL harass you if you are using the wrong web browser or if you have TOO MANY FUCKING TABS OPEN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

He calms down somewhat once he becomes a P.I. He’ll take selfies at crime scenes and livestream himself when he’s finding clues or chasing someone down! He’s absolutely obsessed with it and he gets super popular. He knows that he shouldn’t broadcast himself solving crimes... but... the clicks... the views... his stans...

Enjoys gaming and modding whenever he has free time.

Scarecrow:

He hasn’t been in a classroom in years but if you looked at his internet habits you would think he’s still teaching psychology at Gotham U. Responds to emails responsibly (but NOT on weekends or after 10 pm!!)

Probably wouldn’t blog these days, but when he was younger he had a page where he would discuss his psychology work.

He mostly uses the internet for research or to order chemicals but he’ll often get swept up in some inane message chain with Harley and Eddie and he HATES IT.

He has like two dozen tabs open on his computer because he forgets about them and even though some of the tabs have been there for so long that he GENUINELY can’t remember why they were there, he keeps them because it makes Edward break into hives every time he tries to watch what he’s doing online. Giving Edward Nygma anxiety sweats is easy and free and should be done often.

Two-Face:

He uses incognito mode… whenever he needs to google embarrassing questions…

He likes to peruse the dark web but sometimes he enjoys hopping onto r/legaladvice and r/relationships and reads that shit like it's the Sunday paper.

If he’s bored or is having a bad mental day, he likes to look up all the Google doodle games that Google keeps archived. they’re all really cute and are a lot of fun to goof around with whenever he’s wanting to play something light and quick!

#headcanons #rogue gallery #Edward Nygma #Harley Quinn #Jonathan Crane #Oswald Cobblepot #Bane #Selina Kyle #Basil Karlo #Harvey Dent #Waylon Jones #Pamela Isley #Victor Fries #Jervis Tetch #the joker #dc comics #dc headcanon

[josukesknee]

vanilla ice’s lifetraps... an analysis?

i spent roughly 1-2 weeks compiling this so yes i am posting it everywhere bc i put way too much effort into it.

hallo hallo.

i'm researching lifetraps for a quiz i'm making (and also i just think they're interesting) so... why not force it upon the jojo fandom using an ungodly amount of words?

or, yknow, let's talk about vanilla ice part two: electric boogaloo.

a lifetrap (or schema) is defined as a negative pattern that presents itself throughout our lives. it develops in childhood/adolescence based on our life experiences. one person can have multiple lifetraps. some psychologists say there are 11, some say there are 18. enmeshment, our primary focus, is typically included by those who say 18.

i plan to do this for a few characters. no specific group, just whichever ones i feel like pouring a couple hours into. for this blog, that's vanilla ice. again.

a warning: this blog deals with things you may find upsetting, particularly death, references to domestic violence, and implications of/references to child abuse. stay safe, stay informed, and reach out when you can.

—

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disclaimer / spoiler warnings

major spoilers for the entirety of SDC.

i don't condone his actions yada yada yada you have a brain. use it before you lose it.

i am not a psychologist. don't use my definitions on yourself. if you think you identify a little too strongly with one of the lifetraps i describe, you are welcome to do your own research and/or consider therapy.

—

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1 | basics of enmeshment

i'd suggest reading this blog if you want a better idea of what i, personally, think vanilla ice's psychology looks like.

so, first: what is the enmeshment lifetrap?

takanen describes it as feeling that you are so connected with your parents or partner, that you have no idea who you are anymore. goodtherapy calls it a blurring of boundaries. it isn't to be confused with dependence, despite their similarities.

some of the things that someone with this lifetrap will experience are:

difficulty disagreeing with parents'/partners' opinions

feeling as if they have no life, but their parent(s)/partner(s) live vicariously through them

difficulty identifying which needs, wants, and feelings are their own

guilt when they do not tell their parent(s)/partner(s) something

lack of independence from parent(s)/partner(s)

lack of distress tolerance

no sense of self

do i need to explain further? ok, i will. don't act so excited about it.

—

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2 | past & present: enmeshment

it's clear and emphasized in canon that vanilla ice puts dio on par with what you may consider your respective god(s); again, the blog linked in the beginning of this section will go in-depth on why i believe this, but dio is very likely similar to a part of his own identity. their identities are enmeshed in vanilla ice's mind.

vanilla ice's entire 'thing' is his devotion for dio, but... is it entirely devotion, or is it partially enmeshment? do we see anything of vanilla ice that isn't linked to dio? no, we don't; even his fury is because dio has been insulted. was it vanilla ice's desire to eliminate, or was it dio's? i think we all know who planted that seed.

and in comparison, the others in dio's crew had far bigger chances of having personal motivations that weren't solely about dio, or it's explicitly stated that they do (ex: hol horse is in it for cash); vanilla ice did not. his motivations were only about dio and where araki could've given us something to supplement that, could've given us a snippet of backstory, he didn't. maybe it wasn't intentional, but it happened, and i think it was.

we also have to ask what kind of person gets so attached? what kind of guy is vanilla ice, i mean, he's kind of intense all around, but who hurt him? enmeshment offers a pretty solid answer for that: probably his parents!

side ramble incoming.

a lot of your behavior develops based on your relationship to your parents/caretakers when you're young — anger, to name one — as do attachment styles.

vanilla ice's obsessive, co-dependent behavior likely began in his early life. following the theory i began before about him potentially being abused, forcing one into co-dependency gets just about every abuser off. it's how they trap their victims, including children who already depend on them for everything.

in an enmeshed parent-child relationship, there's a distinct lack of boundaries and privacy. children are brought up to feel guilty for attending to their own needs before others'. i would personally call it a breeding ground for child abuse.

unchallenged, this type of relationship will become what vanilla ice considers normal and healthy, and he may very well repeat and seek out this dynamic in every relationship thereon, which we can assume he does. one possibility after a childhood like i described is the person purposefully seeking out partners who require their care and protection. this could serve as a solid reason for vanilla ice following dio.

people also tend to have troubles regulating their emotions, which... well, y'all know what happened.

—

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3 | basics of subjugation

enmeshment isn't 100% accurate, nor is it likely the only lifetrap our subject finds himself in. so what other schemas is he likely trapped in?

subjugation is the feeling that you must please loved ones, colleagues, friends, and even strangers.

people who experience this lifetrap often allow others to control them so that they can avoid consequences such as anger and abandonment. they have an excessive build-up of anger that can leak out in the form of passive-aggressiveness or surprisingly aggressive temper tantrums, of the which vanilla ice exhibits the latter. they tend to attract dominant, bossy people who will dictate how they feel, behave, and think, a profile that pretty accurately describes dio.

it's essentially people pleasing, but one seeks less approval, more basic human interaction.

why does this lifetrap develop?

—

—

4 | past & present: subjugation

people develop the subjugation lifetrap early on, typically due to their parents. the typical behavior of the parents of a subjugated individual lines up nicely (unfortunately?) with those of enmeshment.

we'll focus on the traits that line up most with vanilla ice. going with the assumption that he has anger issues, it's very likely that his parent(s) lashed out on him when he did not follow orders. that could contribute to both of the lifetraps i've mentioned here. control and guilt-tripping are also vital parts of abuse: they contribute to subjugation as well. one parent may have been the abuser and one the abused, as the abused would likely serve as an example of subjugation for vanilla ice to follow.

another thing to consider is that subjugation can form out of having to be the caretaker to family members since the parents were not around enough to do so (think dean winchester, if you will). food for thought, considering his role as a protector is presumably all he lives for.

which brings me to my next point. there are two types of subjugation: self-sacrificing or voluntary, and submissive or involuntary. this is where it gets complicated for vanilla ice.

an abuse victim would likely fall under submission out of fear, and it's pretty obvious the guy went through some variation of it. but with his relationship to dio and canon context, voluntary submission seems more likely.

i'd have to know the specifics of how they met and how he came to follow dio to be able to give you guys a solid guess as to which it is, but voluntary has more canon evidence behind it. their relationship could be viewed as either/or. at the end of the day, it's all up to your personal interpretation, especially of dio.

—

—

5 | cream's significance

how about something a little lighter and more palatable? let's talk about vanilla ice's stand, cream.

cream is basically a walking/floating void, waiting to destroy and swallow everything up. god, that is a sentence i never thought i'd type. anyways. let's pretend araki intended for some rando to make this psychological reach.

the void is the unknown. even vanilla ice himself says that he doesn't know where things go once they're inside his stand. vanilla ice being so unfamiliar with his own stand's ability makes the perfect reference to enmeshment, in the same way that cream's blind destruction references its user's blind anger.

in enmeshment, vanilla ice's own identity would be beyond him, just as what really lays beyond his stand's maw. his identity is a void filled with dio this and dio that; he knows nothing about himself and likely never has.

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6 | other lifetraps

here are some others that i don't feel like expanding on or for which vanilla ice does not fit the criteria to a T.

insufficient self-control: pretty self-explanatory, very aligned with the aggressive behaviors of a subjugated individual. lack of boundaries, increased risk of addiction. tends to be attracted to demanding, disciplined, systematic partners. difficulty regulating emotions/thoughts.

punitiveness: tendency to be very harsh on yourself and punish yourself when you act incorrectly. one could interpret him blaming his anger on others as punitiveness, as others are targeted as well by a punitive's critical nature. not really seen in canon, but it's a very common trope in fanfiction (trust me... i've been in all the crevices of vanilla ice fanfic lol). this trap seems as if it would go hand in hand with pessimism, but don't quote me on that (or any of this blog, really).

—

—

conclusion

your takeaway? well... i just really like getting in this dude's noggin. i think i'm trying to compensate for something! but i'm not here to psychoanalyze myself. also sorry i 100% repeated/used random dividers, there are like 5 different screenshots of vanilla ice on the internet and they are all low quality lol

thanks for reading. let me know other psych related things you'd be interesting in seeing from me. i enjoy writing these psych heavy blogs a lot (more than art or anything else, tbh).

—

sources

• prior psych knowledge • lifetrap test* • lifetraps and basic psychological needs** • enmeshment • 18 early schemas defined • subjugation lifetrap • jojo's bizarre wiki

* = this site was translated to english and wording may be incorrect, as some of the grammar is certainly questionable, but it's comparable to other sources.

** = this is a PDF. your browser may automatically download this file if you open it on a phone. some phones cannot open PDF files.

#jjba #vanilla ice jojo #analysis #stardust crusaders #jojos bizarre adventure #anime

[shanethvarosa]

Music Review: 2020

My blog has been a lot of things over the years, but it did originate as something I used to publicly review music; especially in the Visual Kei scene. Since I began the blog so many years ago, I had actually been hired to review Visual Kei and J-Rock music for an actual website: VKH-Press.com, work I am very, very proud of to this day. However, with not much news to comment on or work to critique, I haven’t been as active. Plus, personal issues always seem to stand in my way. However, I always take the time to discuss my passions at the end of the year. There were so many incredible releases, despite the COVID-19 pandemic, and so I wanted to take the time time to discuss my favorite releases and, maybe, the not-so-favorites as well. Quick shout out to Bastille’s Goosebumps EP and Megan Thee Stallion’s Good News LP as I did not get to listen to them before I wrote up my lists, but were still excellent releases. See my thoughts below! 

Overall, there were about 75 albums or groupings of albums I listened to this year and split them between various tiers. Starting with the bad tier, there were actually only ten albums listed here and mostly just because they were seemingly unnecessary collection albums. For example, another Satsuki collection? Rides in ReVellion releasing two greatest hits LPs after only five years of work? Beyonce releasing The Lion King: The Gift again? None of those felt like necessary releases. There weren’t many albums that really screamed bad to me this year, but I really could not stand Vanessa Carlton’s “Love is an Art” or Justin Bieber’s “Changes.” The only other albums on this tier were just underwhelming compared to what I know the artist is capable of, but the “best bad tier album,” in my view, was The 1975′s “Notes on a Conditional Form.” 

The mid-tier albums had all sorts of reasons for being only mid-tier. They weren’t quite bad or outright unnecessary, but are mostly by artists who put out work that was nowhere near the caliber of their usual work or were re-releases or other collection albums. For example, Tove Lo’s “Sunshine Kitty: Pawprint Edition” or Man With A Mission’s remixes/b-sides/covers albums. Nice to have with good quality music, but I wish we’d just have had brand new EPs or LPs. 

The good-tier albums were all really excellent releases, but didn’t hit home the way anything on the “God-Tier” list did. Here, I’d like to share a quick top ten: 

10. Taeyeon’s “Purpose: Repackage” & Japanese EP, “#GirlsSpkOut” 9. Charli XCX’s “How I’m Feeling Now” 8. Miyavi’s “Holy Nights” & “Holy Nights: 2020 Lockdown” 7. TK’s “Sainou” 6. PVRIS’s “Use Me” 5. Buck-Tick’s “Abracadabra” 4. Katy Perry’s “Smile” 3. Alicia Keys’ “Alicia” 2. Dua Lipa’s “Future Nostalgia” & “Club Future Nostalgia” 1. Ava Max’s “Heaven & Hell

Without furhter ado, though, the God Tier Top 25: 

25. Acme’s We Are Visual Kei: Essentially a collection album of several songs that were b-sides that never made a full-blown album. This LP was loaded with some of Acme’s best work and shows that they are going to be here for a long time, despite Div not quite working out. Recommended tracks: Mononoke Requiem, Gekiyama Celluloid, Houkago no Shiiku 

24. Alanis Morisette’s Such Pretty Forks in the Road: Admittedly, a huge fan in the 90′s and loved her cover of Seal’s Crazy. However, before this album I didn’t really listen to much of her body of work and I can see why today’s youth might not listen to this album. It is very “adult” insofar as it deals with her struggles in marriage, parenting, religion, etc. Her vocal performance is exceptional and her song writing remains some of the best in the business. Recommended tracks: Smiling, Nemesis, Reasons I Drink. 

23. Niall Horan’s Heartbreak Weather: Not my usual cup of tea, but for some reason Niall’s music makes me feel softer than normal. He’s very cute and charming and his words are always so romantic. It feels more genuine than the music made by other members of One Direction and kind-of reminds me of earlier Taylor Swift writing, but from a male perspective. Recommended Tracks: Put A Little Love On Me, Arms of a Stranger, Still. 

22. K/DA’s All Out: I don’t even really understand what this is, but I love it. There’s something to do with League of Legends? Cartoons? International pop stars? Whatever it is, I’m totally obsessed. These songs just completely slap. Recommended Tracks: The Baddest, More, Drum Go Dum. 

21. Darrell’s Brilliant Death: This might even “officially” be a single, but there’s enough content to market it as an album. Darrell is a band formed from the ashes of Deathgaze and Ai’s solo project. Who knows why Ai didn’t just continue after his solo album, Confusion, but he decided to go back to the band-format with confusingly-named Darrell. This album is then, incidentally, mostly Deathgaze covers. It brings the production into the new era and gives you a lot of nostalgic love for old hits. Recommended Tracks: Brilliant Death, Evoke the World, Abyss. 

20. Alice Nine’s Fuyajou Eden & Kuro to Wonderland: Neither album was particularly long, in fact these were glorified EPs that could’ve been merged to one two-sided LP, but in either case... Both albums had something really special to offer and felt like a true comeback after years of name changes and finally going back to their original, kanji-styled name. Recommended Tracks: Kakumei Kaika -Revolutionary Blooming-, Testament, Replica, Glow. 

19. Mucc’s Aku: This album felt very long in the making after a series of weird singles that didn’t feel like they were going anywhere. Ultimately, a lot of those singles did not make the album including my favorite one: Taboo. The resulting album, though, did feel very cohesive and thematic and even featured one of this year’s heavy hitters: Hazuki. Recommended Tracks: Aku -Justice-, Memai, Ameria. 

18. Miley Cyrus’s Plastic Hearts: This person is absolutely one of my favorite people in music. I’m pretty sure they have comeout as genderfluid/non-binary, so I want to stick with safe pronouns, just in case. However, they’ve always been a favorite and as they’ve come out as such a champion for the LGBT, I love them even more. The album though gave me a lot of hype for something very 80′s rock, but didn’t quite give me what I expected. All in all, the music was fantastic, just a little off-beat from expectations. Recommended Tracks: Gimme What I Want, Angels Like You, WTF Do I Know. 

17. Rina Sawayama’s Sawayama: I didn’t expect to fall in love with this girl the way I did. My boyfriend recommended “STFU” to me as kind of a joke because the song discusses a lot of Asian racism that I’m always criticizing people in my life for falling into, but then the song was so bad ass I checked out the album. There were so many different types of music on it and she really did a good job with all of them. Then, with the deluxe edition coming out and the hardcore club banger “Lucid” being involved... Just really brought it all home. Recommended Tracks: Tokyo Love Hotel, Lucid, Fuck This World. 

16. Amber Liu’s X: This was just an EP, but every song on it was great. Amber Liu was from f(x), a K-Pop Icon Group, but she always seemed like the odd one out. She was such a tomboy, so silly and funny all the time, and didn’t really behave like other Korean idols. I mean, really, she isn’t actually even Korean. I believe she’s Chinese American. In either case, the EP really noted some of her own personal strugles in the business and also remaining pretty fun at parts too. I saw her live in Philly before COVID-19 and she was truly excellent. Recommended Tracks: Numb, Stay Calm, Other People. 

15. Blackpink’s The Album: Not much of an album at only 8 tracks, but that’s K-Pop for you. I bet next year I’ll be putting “Blackpink’s The Album: Repackage” on my top 25 list. The quality of the music was pretty dope though, all things considered. It was a very solid debut effort with all of their previous songs being somewhere in the same lane as this one. I still kind of believe they are a reminder of what 2NE1 could have been, but they’re doing well enough on their own. Recommended Tracks: Ice Cream, Lovesick Girls, Pretty Savage. 

14. Hazuki’s Year Over All: Kind of a weird way to word it, but Hazuki basically released two albums this year in different formats. His work with his band, Lynch., was pretty magnificent. I’m not one to usually dwell on a Lynch. album. Their singles or featured tracks are what I usually get into, but the actual album (Ultima) really did a good job of showing how versatile Hazuki can be. His solo album, Souen -Funeral-, was an entirely stripped down, gothic orchestral album of Lynch. covers and other J-Hard Rock artists. Hearing it done like this was almost transcendental. Recommended Tracks: Xero, Idol, Ray, D.A.R.K. 

13. Sam Smith’s Love Goes: They had me scared that their album wasn’t coming this year once they pushed it back, back in May. Then again, at the time, an album called “To Die For” was probably super tone deaf. In any case, literally every single released for this album had me in love. So, when they all got included in the final version, I was thrilled. Sam gave us a bonus song after the album as well, but I can see why that one didn’t get on. In any case, this is a huge step up from “The Thrill of it All,” which I didn’t really care for. Recommended Tracks: Another One, Dance (’Til You Love Someone Else), Forgive Myself. 

12. Troye Sivan’s In A Dream: I love this kid. He’s so gay and so not shy about it and it really makes me smile. The EP comes after his last LP, Bloom, where the title track basically talks about bottoming for the first time and this new EP deals with a few other queer issues over weirdly produced beats that just... make sense. Recommended tracks: Stud, In A Dream, Easy. 

11. Matenrou Opera’s Chronos: Unfortunately, this band just lost their guitarist again. Their original, Anzi, was basically the most consummate guitarist in the visual kei scene that wasn’t Hizaki and he left them. Their sound wasn’t quite right since and they seemed to just get it back with Chronos when Jay left them. I guess we’ll see what they do next, but I think Chronos could be their last great release. Recommended Tracks: Chronos, Silence, Reminiscence. 

10. BoA’s Better: A very recent release that hasn’t had much time for me to digest. This is strange for me to put it so high on my list for that reason, but BoA is one of my all time favorites. She never disappoints me. This album was no different. It wasn’t exactly up to par with “Woman” or “Watashi Kono Mama de Ii no Kana,” but it definitely gave us some new and very iconic Queen BoA bangers. Recommended Tracks: Cut Me Off, Start Over, Temptations. 

9. Kesha’s High Road: A semi-step down from Rainbow, only because a lot of the same melodic elements and, sometimes, even beats were used on this album too. However, her vocal performance was outstanding and she even gave us a new dirty-pop song with some interesting indie-pop tracks to go with it. Plus, who doesn’t love a Big Freedia feature? Recommended Tracks: Resentment, Raising Hell, Tonight. 

8. Lady Gaga’s Chromatica: Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really love Gaga anymore. After all the drama with Madonna and her experimentation with “Joanne” I didn’t think I’d ever like her music again. However, she definitely won back big points for me on Chromatica. It was finally fun, weird, dancey, and then simultaneously emotional and I was really able to get back into it. She’s always had the voice, but on this one it also showed us that she still has what made us love her. Recommended Tracks: Rain On Me, Plastic Doll, Enigma. 

7. Koda Kumi’s My Name Is... Angel + Monster: She is, very likely, my Japanese Pop Queen. She always makes these absolutely outlandish bangers of dance tracks that have such a great attitude and beat and when she released re(CORD)... last year? 2018? Who can remember... I thought she could never outdo herself. Then she released “Lucky Star” and I was floored. I was a bit disappointed when they were only to promote a “My Name Is...” collection album, but then, to my surprise, a full set of new tracks came out just after that just blew me entirely away. Guess the last 6 albums must be pretty great, huh? Recommended tracks: Killer Monster, Work It!, Alarm. 

6. Grimes’ Miss Anthropocene: I’ve never been a big fan of Grimes, but when Violence came out I was really looking forward to whatever album this was going to end up promoting. The song is actual fire, but then the LP ended up being some kind of experimental Gothic Pop with Asian Pop influences I never expected. I doubt I’ll ever find something she does this good ever again, but it was really a musical light in the darkness of this year. Recommended tracks: Darkseid, Delete Forever, Violence. 

5. Kylie Minogue’s Disco: Admittedly, my draw to Kylie has always been that she is like some kind of Australian Madonna. Madonna being one of my all time favorite artists... In fact, number 2 for all women I listen to, Kylie has some big shoes to fill with her sometimes generic pop that she puts out. However, I haven’t really truly loved a Kylie song since “Get Outta My Way” and then this album comes out filled with tracks to love for the rest of time. Recommended Tracks: Miss A Thing, Till You Love Somebody, Magic. 

4. Chanmina’s Notebook/Angel: I don’t have really any way of knowing how popular Chanmina is in Japan or if she is as popular in the Japanese Queer Scene as she should be, but god damn does she know what she’s doing. Her music is raunchy, bitchy, and condescending at it’s highest and deeply personal at it’s most mellow. There is no “lowest.” “Notebook” was a two-sided album and “Angel” a strong follow up EP, but all the recommended tracks are from “Notebook.” If you have not listened to “Picky”.... go do it now, I’ll wait. Recommended tracks: Picky, Baby, Lucy. 

3. The Weeknd’s After Hours: Incidentally, I got into The Weeknd after someone said something shitty about him here on Tumblr! I took their likely-valid criticism and went to check him out for myself and I gotta say, I love his work. The beats are literally always on point and his voice is like silk. This album provided more than a few iconic songs and I always can’t wait to see what he does next. Recommended Tracks: Alone Again, Heartless, Blinding Lights. 

2. Halsey’s Manic: The singles and features she did between Hopeless Fountain Kingdom and Manic gave me such insanely high hopes and I was not disappointed. HFK was a strong album of course, but this was near perfection for me. I think the production of this alt-pop album was the star of the show because it wasn’t all one way, there were heavy-bass songs, interesting piano riffs, striaght up punk rock, all of it. She really made an album quite like it’s namesake. Recommended Tracks: Ashley, Killing Boys, Still Learning. 

1. Dexcore’s Metempsychosis: A newcomer to the visual kei and death metal scene, they’ve been putting out single after single for years in preparation for their extemeley long and multidaceted debut album. With a total of about 33 songs, the entire second disc was rerecorded singles from their early days and some even got new lyrical treatment. The main series of songs were, of course, also totally flooring and all of the recommended tracks are the new ones. If you haven’t checked them out by now, you have to! Recommended tracks: Cibus, Scribble, Period.

#personal #music #2020 #visual kei #k-pop #dexcore #halsey #the weeknd #chanmina #kylie minogue #grimes #koda kumi #lady gaga #kesha #BoA

[unalomee]

GET TO KNOW ME

1. What is your name? Carolina 2. What is your nickname? Carol or Cah 3. Birthday? June 30 4. What is your fav book series? Me Before You (by Jojo Moyes) and  the Cahill Witch Chronicles (by Jessica Spotswood) 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Yes, totally! 6. Who is your favorite author? Agatha Christie 7. What is your favorite radio station? I prefer Spotify :) 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Salty things 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Daora (Cool) 10. What is your current favorite song? Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince (by Taylor Swift) 11. What is your favorite word? pudim :) 12. What was the last song you listened to? Toss a coin to your witcher (from The Witcher) metal version by Dan Vasc 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? HTGAWM, Big Little Lies, Sharp Objects and This is Us. 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? About Time 15. Do you play video games? yes! 16. What is your biggest fear? someone i love dies brutally 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’m loyal 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I can be lazy sometimes 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? obvi dogs, but I like cats too 20. What is your favorite season? Autumn 21. Are you in a relationship? yes, @mvmdesouza 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? having no responsibilities 23. Who is your best friend? 4 amazing woman and 1 man (love them) 24. What is your eye color? brown 25. What is your hair color? brown 26. Who is someone you love? my dog Snow, my mom+dad+brother, my besties + boyfriend 27. Who is someone you trust? my mom always! 28. Who is someone you think about often? familiy, doggo and boyf. 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? maybe this year im going to move out from my families house :) 30. What is your biggest obsession? my agatha christie books! 31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Charmed and Bewitched 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my bff Ge 33. Are you superstitious? a little... 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? unusual? no.. 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? def behind 36. What is your favorite hobby? the sims, reading, tumblr... 37. What was the last book you read?  Red Queen (by Victoria Aveyard) 38. What was the last movie you watched?  The Addams Family (2019) 39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? unfortunately none :( 40. What is your favorite animal? do I still have to say? Dogs :D 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? so many, idk! 42. What superpower do you wish you had? read minds 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? at home in my bedroom 44. What makes you smile? my friends, my dog, books, animal gifs, series 45. What sports do you play, if any? none at the moment, but i used to play volley 46. What is your favorite drink? Water and orange or cashew juice 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? at the christimas :) 48. Are you afraid of heights? yes! 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? people smacking while eating 50. Have you ever been to a concert? yes! 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? no :( 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? veterinary 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? San Myshuno (TS4) or Hogwarts 54. What is something you worry about? The future and climate change 55. Are you scared of the dark? No! 56. Do you like to sing? yes but im not good hahahaha 57. Have you ever skipped school? yep hahahahaha 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? Verin/Spain 59. Where would you like to live? Verin/Spain 60. Do you have any pets? I think that’s pretty clear by now... :D 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? def early bird  62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunrises 63. Do you know how to drive? yes! 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? neither 65. Have you ever had braces? yes! 66. What is your favorite genre of music? I love everything, but Pop and Rock! 67. Who is your hero? My mom and dad 68. Do you read comic books? I read it once... 69. What makes you the most angry? inhumanity!! 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? real books for the win! 71. What is your favorite subject in school? art and biology 72. Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother 73. What was the last thing you bought? food hahahaha 74. How tall are you? 159 cm 75. Can you cook? yes! 76. What are three things that you love? family+doggo, friends, boyf. 77. What are three things that you hate? ignorance, sexism, racism 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? female friends 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight 80. Where do you currently live? Brazil 81. Who was the last person you texted? my boyf Marcos  82. When was the last time you cried? last night 83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? I dont watch anything on youtube... 84. Do you like to take selfies? sometimes :) 85. What is your favorite app? Spotify, Tumblr and Instagram 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? love my mom and dad! 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? portuguese from Portugal and English from Uk. 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? England and Morocco 89. What is your favorite number? 23 90. Can you juggle? no! 91. Are you religious? hum no! 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? outer space!! 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? idk... 94. Are you allergic to anything? nope! 95. Can you curl your tongue? yes! 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no! 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? if I’m wrong, I’m wrong 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? neither 99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? don't trust everyone 100. Are you a good liar? yes but only white lies 101. What is your Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw!! 102. Do you talk to yourself? best convo ever :) 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? normally an extrovert... 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no! 105. Do you believe in second chances? yes, but strike three and you’re out 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? I look for the person, see if there is any contact in the wallet to call or leave it somewhere appropriate  107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yes aaand no 108. Are you ticklish? a little 109. Have you ever been on a plane? yes! 110. Do you have any piercings? no! 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Hercule Poirot 112. Do you have any tattoos? no! 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? just go with the flow and do 114. Do you believe in karma? hmmm yes! 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses, but only when I need to see far 116. Do you want children? maybe in the future...a boy 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my mom 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? let’s not go there... 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? too many times 120. What color are most of you clothes? they are colorful 121. Do you like adventures? yes! 122. Have you ever been on TV? nope 123. How old are you? 28 looking like 20 and never growing up hahahaha 124. What is your favorite quote? “I am who i am today because of the choices i made yesterday” by Eleanor Roosevelt 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory

#questions #game #answers #gettoknowme

[littlemeowmeowschimmy]

FAQ’s

Personal Information... 

My name is Kas as it is short for a name that was taken from my grandmother. I’m very open about sharing my name and my face, however I usually take my face reveals off pretty quickly. 

I have a personal account as this is a secondary blog. Meaning if you @ me in anything, I will more than likely respond to with my personal account. If you wish to follow it it’s @ / litlemeowmeowschimmy

I’m 20 years old - Jan 21st 1999 

Majoring in Studio Arts and minoring in Psychology. I have an Insta dedicated to my drawings it’s @ / drawingwithkaseroll 

I am mixed. Half White and half African American. I will say that it is really hard to tell what race I am because I am mixed. I certainly am not as pale as my mother and those on my moms side of the family that are white, nor am I as dark as those on my father’s side of the family. 

I am single as a pringle

I got into BTS November 2018 through my best friend who writes as well. I will often mention her as we spend a lot of time together. We have threads on each of our blogs named “Shit my friends say” 

My main bias is Yoongi, however I often add Jimin as well because I jump in between the two. But, I first fell in love with Yoongi and my heart is taken by him. 

I will and forever be OT7 because I certainly do not believe in “solo stans” or being one because all of them bring something special to the table. Plus, they simply wreck me on a daily basis so I can’t get under the mindset on loving just one and hating the others. 

I do not under any circumstances support saesangs or saesange “culture” if there is. I find it disgusting, appalling and everything in between. If you are one then immediately unfollow me. You are and never will be welcomed on my blog(s). 

I consider myself a multistan. With that being said, I realize that I am not a hardcore stan with certain groups as I am with BTS. That is a completely different story and different conversation to have within itself. With that being said, I don’t have a bias or a wrecker in these groups (other than SEVENTEEN) because I simply enjoy their music. I think being able to enjoy different Kpop groups and listen to different sounds without getting completely ripped to shreds by certain fandoms is nice. Some include: SEVENTEEN, EXO, AOA, ATEEZ, GOT7, Monsta X, etc. 

Outside of Kpop I listen to a variety of music. I have always said that I will listen to pretty much classical all the way to heavy metal. However, as I grow older, I’ve really enjoyed songs in foreign languages, “poppy” music, eletronic, alternative rock, and soft metal (meaning not a lot of screaming). My roots have always been rock because my parents love listening to classic rock, so I will always go back to that genre.  

I speak two different languages: English and Spanish. However, I am more fluent in English, and I am semi fluent in Spanish. Meaning, I can understand when someone is speaking to me, I can understand music, and read in Spanish. However, it is very hard for me to produce the language, i.e speak it. I can type it, but that’s very different than speaking. 

I am dabbling in different languages because at the end of my life I want to say that I’ve studied over ten different languages. I can still read and speak a little bit of Japanese and my current obsession is learning Korean. 

Regarding requests and others.... 

The writing tumblrs I am apart of are -- bangtanarmynet // ficswithluv // BTS Writers Collective 

My requests are opened and it will always say in my bio if they are opened or closed. 

I am open to writing certain types of requests. There are a few that I will not write and I have spoken about them here. 

With the expection to the last bullet point: I will not under ANY circumstances write anything that includes: Mass shooting, rape, talk about rape, sexual abuse, etc. Some of you might be wondering well what about UWMA (Until We Meet Again)? I have written a warning post for that series in which you can read. 

Stories that contain dark subjects: As mentioned UWMA and Play With Me have some pretty dark topics. I.e mention of physical and emotional abuse. In those stories I do not and WILL not normalize it in anyway. I mention it and move on. There will be times in UWMA that there is hair pulling, kicking, smacking, etc as well as Play With Me. However, that is and WILL be as far as I go. 

In my warning post I have stated that I’ve grown up in a very toxic environment and under those circumstances I am well aware of how touchy those subjects can and will get. I have and I will continue to state that I am not at all normalizing those behaviors nor am I “romanticizing.” Instead I am bringing those subjects up to the table if they wish to be discussed, and I am going about this in a psychological stance. Being a psych minor I have and always will enjoy diving into the mind. I love how it works and I love writing about it. But there is a line and I will never cross and certainly not with BTS, nor with anyone in general. 

I have no problem writing member x member requests because I certainly believe that giving someone something to imagine is honestly pretty great. However, I want to state that you as a reader should not be pushing these pairings onto BTS. They have stated that it makes them uncomfortable because they view themselves as brothers, not lovers. I don’t mind giving you something to read about and create a fictional world, but you should take it upon yourself to know where the line is. The same can be said about giving me requests. Do not in anyway believe that you are going to get into a relationship with them and be y/n. I am simply providing you with content, creating a fictional world, and having fun. 

I have no problem writing any sexual content (other than what’s been previously mentioned). As you will come to find out, I’m pretty open on sex as I have written it a lot. 

I have no problem writing a male!reader x member. Once again I’m pretty cool with anything (other than what has been already said) 

This is only a BTS blog. I will not under any circumstances write about any other group because as I have mentioned earlier, I simply listen to other kpop groups. Yes, I will mention maybe a name or two in an imagine // drabble // series because I realize that BTS sees and are friends with other members from other groups. However that does not openly give you the rights to ask me to write about another group. 

In order to differentiate the types of post I do, you can read about it in the post here

Regarding my post schedule and other mentions... 

Since being a college student, my schedule is always fluctuating. As I grow older, I have a harder time finding the time to sit down for more than a half and hour and write. It’s either because I am busy with work (in the summer and on breaks) or busy with classes (in the fall and into the spring). I try to post something every week. If that is one story, two stories, or even three (if I’m lucky.) I used to do a story every day beginning out so that people could have something to read. As I have a steady following it has naturally come down to one or two a week. 

I do not mind people asking when I am posting or updating a series. In fact, it brings me great joy to know people are enjoying my content. However, do not ask me all the time if I am updating something on a regular basis.

Rolling off the last bullet point: I want y’all to remember that I am doing this simply because I love it. I am not doing it because Tumblr is paying me, or bangtanarmynet is paying me. I’m just a twenty year old girl, who has an obsession for writing and BTS, giving y’all content. With that being said, no not in any circumstances be demanding and rude. It will not only get you an undesirable response, but it will have negative consequences. 

I want to be able to create a safe space on my blog because I know how horrible the internet and the world can be. I also want to create a space where people can get lost in a fictional world craving for more as authors I have looked up to has created for me. 

Let’s have fun and if there are any more questions feel free to write me an ask 

#littlemeowmeowschimmy #faq

[psshaw]

This post (https://angels-tooth.tumblr.com/post/178419762977/warning-post-ghost-oakes-twistedteeth ) added a little log snippet I haven’t seen before, hey! I noticed I’m getting follows from younger people lately (get off my lawn) and it’s been awhile since I did an examination of malignant self-obsessed-type emotional fuckery.

I don’t know who took these shots, but I have guesses. Anyway!

Obviously this looks unpleasant. But out of context, either person here could be in the wrong, right? 

Except for a few things that should never happen.

Full disclosure, I’m intimately familiar with Ghost-Oakes’s Jekyll-n’-Hyde method of going from overly-appeasing, happy-to-see-you-omg “I love everything you do let’s talk about whatever YOU want” lapdog to Your Deeply Disappointed Dad, and how dizzying it can be when there’s no transitionary gradient between the two. This is obviously the latter we’re seeing here, and here’s why.

1) Getting tired of waiting and asking for a refund (on art, I assume?) is hardly a problem. Looks like it caught his friend off-guard, though, and while he cites partially doing it for their sake, they seem clearly unhappy with his decision. He acts utterly callous to this, evidenced by:

2) phrasing just about all of it in the most passive-aggressive way possible. Ask yourself, would you say any of this like this? “Selfish ol’ me”? I know if I asked for a refund from a friend, I would be polite as hell and make sure they knew there were no hard feelings. This is needlessly, openly nasty. It feels nasty to read and I bet it felt nasty to get. It’s the equivalent of spitting on a cookie before you give it to someone, and then performing an upset when they don’t eat it with a smile. We know he knows better than this, because he holds everyone else to a much higher standard when he spreads rumors about them. In truth, he did not want them to feel less stressed at all. All this did was make them feel like they invonveniced him and thus owed him, after he was So Very Kind to leave them $30... while pouting and sighing the entire time.

This man is 26 years old. You shouldn’t tolerate this from a teenager.

3) Being more concerned about what they’re going to say about him than why they would say it. He could easily stop them from having a bad impression of him by just not being a manipulative— yes, Manipulative—prick. It’s amazing that he still can’t help himself. This is likely owed to his major recurring trait of self-victimization. http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/self-victimization

4) Note how he tells the friend he thinks they want “coddling”. It... doesn’t matter what he thinks they want, at all. He is not capable of mind-reading, and he is also famously paranoid (known for writing “I don’t trust any of you fuckers” on his blog and claiming people are “snakes” for trying to talk to him and learn the evil secrets he... also wants people to think he doesn’t have? I dunno). He should listen and not make them feel ashamed or attacked for speaking their mind. He instead put them on the defensive, so they functionally don’t feel safe telling him anything anymore unless it soothes his “I’m not mad” mad... being.

“I’m not mad. I’m just giving you all the experience of me being angry with you, without any of the honesty that would leave me culpable for recognizing or controlling my own feelings. This is a You problem.”

(Or, something he actually told me: “This is how I’ve always treated you.” Can’t fix something you can’t even agree is real!)

What he’s doing is finding a way to make them the bad guy. He’s successful at this time and time again because it’s coming from someone who acted very caring previously, so you have no reason to believe he’s trying to hurt you. It’s not a big deal, it’s just that you having needs that don’t get fixed instantly is so inconvenient for his fragile, beleaguered state of being. (S-E-L-F-V-I-C-T-I-M-I-Z-A-T-I-O-N, rah rah rah.)

He says what you’re “thinking” broadly and confidently, so you begin to wonder “woah, maybe I AM that bad! Maybe that does apply to me!” much the same way that you make yourself believe the daily horoscope in the newspaper. IN THIS SITUATION, the thing he won’t dignify is: everyone wants coddling. Everyone wants to be soothed and liked by their friends. That’s what friendship is for, most of the time. So basically what he did is he took a normal human feeling and carefully phrased it with a bad-sounding word so you would be ashamed of yourself forrrrr... being a person.

And that’s how he gets you to stop looking at him and start criticizing yourself instead. And you’re usually already vulnerable when he pulls this, so what this does is kick you while you’re down. It’s super effective!

I don’t think he feels sorry for this one bit. It’s saving his own skin, and therefore feels good to him. He will keep it up as long as you fight it. He is not your long-term friend.

And if someone pulls this weird shit on you, call them out on it. If they get mad instead of concerned, back outta there like the room is on fire and they’re holding the gas tank! No matter how good they made you feel at first. That version of them was bait, and the worse they are, the better they have to be at it. There are lots of nice people out there who don’t need to bait you, trust me!

#ghost oakes #twistedteeth #ghostoakes #manipulation #abuse #I’m on mobile I’ll fix those links later #seriously though FUCK GUYS LIKE THIS YOU DESERVE BETTER #is he still in bloodborne I dunno #testimonials #tucker #receipts

[astraxh]

Tag game

Tagged by @all-ringils-blazing . I’ll do both tag games bc I’m bored lol 

1-20 Questions

Answer 20 and tag 20 people you want to know better

Name: Ευγενία

Nicknames: Ehhh don’t really have one

Gender: Female

Orientation: Bi/pan

Nationality: Greek

Faith/Religion: Agnostic/Christian Orthodox

Hobbies: Baking (I was literally making a cheesecake before this),reading, writing and some withcraft. Going out with friends too ^^

Pets: No, but I do feed the neighbourhood cats 

Favorite Color(s): Purple, pink and blue

Favorite Holiday: Summer holidays  

Books: I don’t really have a favourite series or anything! I prefer more action heavy books, getting through Hobbit and Lord of the Rings was a pain for me (even though I like the movies)

Movies: Again, I don’t really a have a favourite haha...I like fun movies! And feel good movies like Ghibli, cartoons etc

Tv shows: I literally havent seen a series for a year now 

Music: A lot of stuff. A lot of musicals and rock indie stuff.

Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate: Coffee! 

Favorite meme: ehh idk. I like the “in this essay I will-” ones

I want to live long enough to: Have a nice house, with a cat and a few dogs. I’m cooking our large kitchen, one of our dogs laying down and waiting till I give him a treat. I put some fresh herbs from the windowsill and look out at our garden. Our fresh tomatoes are big and ripe, and our cat is chasing a lizard. Everything is stress free and peaceful.

Weird Obsessions: Sparkly nail polish. I never paint my nails and have like 20 of these bastards. It’s not weird by itself, it is weird because I literally use them like once a year

Random Fact: I sleep with a dog plushie! 

Goals for 2018: Να μην ανεβουν οι βασεις στις σχολες @god pls man

Get to know me tag

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Nickname: None

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Pisces

Height: Around 1.65

Age: 18

Time: 17:26 

Favorite Bands/Solo Artists: Answered above^ Guess I listen a lot of Wombats and IDK lately tho

Song stuck in my head: The fucking evangelion opening

Last movie I saw: Uhhh a horror movie with a demon that only targeted like twins and mirrors. 

Last thing I googled: How pisces is spelled bc english is stupid

Other blogs: @pvlchra-mors

Do I get asks: Yeah a normal amount ig. I usually answer privately unless it is an anon. I also ignore some anons that are...Well stuff like “post your tits” and that kind of bs.

Why I chose my username: It’s a word in ancient greek I thought it was cool. Thinking of changing it again tho, bc I have some pretty sounding urls saved. I actually made a typo in this but I don’t mind.

Following: Random people lol. I unfollow them if I don’t like their posts and if there’s untagged drama

Average amount of sleep: I wish it was 24 hours, but ehh depends. Usually around 10 hours now in the summer

Lucky number: 7? Idk I like it

What am I wearing: A green shirt (stolen from my brother :3c) and black panties (it’s hot today)

Dream job: I’m gonna be honest, my dream job is no job. I actually enjoy housework and cooking and I get stressed with strict schedules. Plus I’d like to do something that has to do with art/writing, which I can do on the side!

Dream trip: Tour of Europe! Or Asia. Or both!

Favorite food: ΠΑΣΤΙΤΣΙΟ!  

Play an instrument: I did 3 years of piano lessons and I know nothing about it.

Favorite song: Αυτα τα δυο αριστουργηματα x, x

Play(ed) any sport: Actually yeah I did swimming and I also did a year of tennis  

Hair color: Natural is blonde, but I had dyed most of it purple and pink, which is now faded and looks like...Washed up pastel purple and pink

Eye color: Grey-blue

Describe yourself as an aesthetic: Taking of your heels after a night out, lemon beer, splashes of old paint on your desk, half melted candles, the smell of fresh bread, a wind chime, un-finished open word rpgs, keeping things you’ll never use again (εκανα και εγω “”deep”“ aesthetic γιατι σε ζηλεψα XD)

Random fact: I have to take that cheesecake I was talking above out of the oven in a few minutes 

I tag: @theboyklng @zunyism @pluviophilos @kriib @psycho-penelope @sofeira @bxtterfly-effect @firequeensrules @hella-s @ragirl243 @solitaryenigma @levysramdomthings 

I don;t have 40 people to tag so if you see this you are now tagged. You cannot escape. Do it.

#tag game #thanks for tagging <3

[landoftheoutsiders]

Day 5: A Recap

Bet you thought I forgot about this, huh? Well... not exactly. On Friday, I went out with a couple of friends and then all the alcohol hit me at once, so I tapped out and just dealt with the fact I wasn’t going to blog that night and swore that I would do it the next night. Next night happened. I was  e x h a u s t e d  when I got home and knew that my friend, Tree, would be coming over. So I decided that taking a nap would be in our best interest because I’d be cranky if I didn’t. Sunday night Crashy was going to be coming home, so I wanted to hang out with him some, but again, I needed a nap--I take my sleep very seriously... its like the only self care thing that I can do right aside from sitting in parking lots and singing Rent with Tree. Then Monday came which was yesterday. That was my recoup day. I had a long night with Crashy, so I took international nap day very serious and napped... the entire day.       So I guess we can start with Friday. Friday was a great time. We were all going out to celebrate my best friend’s (I don’t think we have identified her yet... we can call her Cat... she’s obsessed lol) promotion to being store manager. It was Cat, Brains (our other co-worker... we all work together), and I. We went to an adult night at the museum of science. The three of us have a soft spot for science and experiments, so it was honestly a perfect time. Afterwards, we went to a bar downtown and drunkenly played taboo. Cat got too competitive because Brains and I were getting too drunk to give good hints, so Cat decided to just give us hints and see who could get to 20 first. Then we did a few rounds of sudden death. It was one of the best nights I’ve had in a while with Cat. Normally we’ll just go bar hopping and we just drink and dance all night--while that is fun, it isn’t always what I find fun. I basically have to drink to loosen up and have fun. Regardless, it was a good time.       Saturday just seemed to drag by. Cat and I had work the next day with another person. We were so dead. Saturdays at my store are normally popping, but for some reason we barely broke $1,000 when we’re normally pushing $2,500-3,000. It was awful. Not to mention my lunch wasn’t the greatest--side note: lamb does not belong on a philly cheese steak. It gave me so much heart burn and made my stomach hurt like a bitch. Thankfully I brought my pup, Prim to work so I had excuses to go outside to take a smoke break. I don’t condone smoking--in fact, I wish I never started, but it helps my stomach hurt a little less after I eat. After my nap, Tree came over and we had a simple night. Nothing crazy happened. We talked about her last day at treatment, then went on a google deep dive with information about our treatment center (best part was 100% reading the group descriptions while ad libbing what actually happened in those groups. 10/10 recommend doing that with friends you made in treatment if you’ve been). We literally did nothing though and it was so nice because we were both so tired lol.      Then came Sunday... and good god if it didn’t blow. The time change fucked everyone up. Sunday somehow went by slower than Saturday did. How, I have no clue. Also. I was SO pissed off when I finally decided to eat lunch. Again, we were dead. All day. A solid two hours went by, and I figured out what I wanted to eat. The second I got off the phone, three people walked in at the same time wanting to bathe their dogs. So by the time I got my food, it was warm instead of hot. Then more people came in once I got my food and by the time I finished helping everyone, my food was cold and I was extremely pissy. Then my stomach hurt really bad because I tried to wolf it down before more people came in. It was like the universe hated me--thus the much needed nap after work. I finally went to go get Crashy around midnight, and that was an adventure.       I figured he was going to be tired and needed to rest because a. travelling takes a toll on the body, and b. he had to get up at 4 am the next morning. I was going to let him rest. I just wanted to cuddle... then all of a sudden he starts putting the moves on me. I was like, woah man. You need your rest... but I also wasn’t arguing with what was about to go down lmao. Then he essentially took a nap and I stayed up to make sure he got up when he needed so he wouldn’t miss his flight. While he was sleeping, I was playing truth or dare with my old english teacher from high school. We both talked about his books, how things were going with me, confessed we had a thing for each other, and talked about education and how I should go study psychology if I really wanted to. It was an eventful night to say the least.       Monday was a blur. I think I was asleep longer than I was awake. I had dinner with Cat’s boyfriend and we had a good conversation. We talked some about her and how she’s grown so much since we all moved here together. Then we talked about relationships, our experiences, and how we have all grown to love the city since moving here. Atlanta takes a lot of getting used to. Its not a city that you can blindly move to--you need to make friends who can show you the good spots. Then, once again, the alcohol hit me hard, and by the time I got home, I just wanted to sleep and move on to the next day. Which is today.     Not much has happened today either. I’ve been fairly productive. I washed my hair, made plans to dye it, Tree is here and shes about to go to therapy with me at our treatment center (we apparently just can’t seem to stay away from that place). Pink is going to be pissed that I haven’t eaten yet today, and I only really plan on having Chickfila afterwards. Its fine though. Everything is fine. The thing I think I’m most looking forward to is meeting a new potential roommate. If things work out, I could have my walk in closet back. Do you guys understand how much I miss having that? Because I don’t think anyone does. My closet in my first apartment was like an oasis. It looked like every tumblr/pinterest idea ever mixed into one, and it was beautiful. I’m so excited to have that back because I have a lot of clothes, and I need to have more space for my art shit. I’m also really excited to decorate a new space again. I just really hope that this person isn’t crazy and we click because all I really want is a sane person to share a living environment and for that environment to be a stable, safe place for me to go home to. Something that isn’t passive aggressive, and isn’t hostile, and a place where I feel as though I belong and welcome. 

Thats it for now... I’ll probably make another post tonight before I go to sleep and when Tree passes out from alcohol poisoning--day drinking at its finest xD I shall talk to you all soon and let you know how this therapy/new roommate situation goes!

-- Rian Dianna

#catching up #blog #eating disorder #ana #anorexia #ed #best friend #therapy #roommate problems #roommate #living spaces #thinking out loud #walk in closet love #please go well

[unwillingkomaedakin]

Entry 1 - June 14th 2020

during school last week, one of my acquaintances (who i’ll refer to on this blog as s if i remember) asked if i wanted to go over to her house for a sleepover. i was sort of over the moon, but also really anxious. it was my first time being individually invited to a sleepover in years. if this makes more sense, when i used to be in a friend group (that was really toxic), they’d have group sleepovers for birthdays and stuff as well as 1 on 1 sleepovers without the rest of the group. i went to a few of the full-group sleepovers, but i myself was never invited to 1 on 1 sleepovers. i’m always the one who has to ask since no one wants to be around me, which is hard for me since i’m really quiet, anxious and shy. no, not shy, that makes me sound cute, nervous fits it better. anyway, so i was somewhat shocked that someone actually wanted to spend time with me outside of school. i was mainly anxious about it, since i have a hard time sleeping somewhere that isn’t my bedroom. my bedroom is like the room version of comfort characters, it’s my comfort room, the only room that makes me feel somewhat safe. i was also really scared it’d be really awkward. anyway, the day came for the sleepover yesterday. i went to s’s house, and it was really nice. her family was good, really nice. i really wish i had a family like her’s, one that got along, didn’t hate, yell at or abuse each other. they were really nice, and really funny, really supportive of s and her hobbies and dreams. her sister is also really nice. what i’d give to have a family like that. 

the first thing we did was s showed me around the house, i ended up leaving my stuff in her room for a while. she had a really big bed. my bed is really small. i want a bed like her’s. her bedroom walls were painted different colors and had stripes. and omg, she had her own private bathroom. i really want a private bathroom, then i’d pretty much never have to leave my room. s and her sister made rice balls for us for lunch, it was my first time having rice, it was pretty good. we watched a bit of beastars on s’s phone, then we looked around in s’s room for a little. s got up her drawing program and told me about this multi-fandom project she was working on. she said she hoped it’d be turned into a tv series, and when i told her that’d be really hard to do due to copyright reasons, she didn’t really mind and remained hopeful. that really warmed my heart, though some of the things about her project confused me due to the amount of details it had. it was good though. after, we went outside to her shed to get blow-up mattresses to sleep on later. the shed was really big, but relatively clean and cosy for a shed. there was a game room with a tv, a couch and a wii. they had a really big caravan that looked cool. i hate travel, i’ve been on a trip in a caravan before, but it still looked cool. s told me that her family was planning on making an art studio for s in the corner of the shed. i wish my family cared about me like that. i should mention, she isn’t spoiled. she’s really nice, i mean she did invite *me* of all people to come to her house after all. she’s really talented, funny. i don’t really feel a lot towards her or have feelings for her or anything like that, but i sort of admire her. after we left the shed, she showed me their old mower which had exploded a while ago. it was really rusty. we saw a baby bearded-dragon outside, and s told me about how she almost stood on a wild snake when her family first moved into the house. 

we went back inside, and she blew up the mattresses with a pump we also got from the shed in the theatre room. i stood there like the idiot i am, not doing anything like usual. i hate myself, i wish i could actually be useful. s brought in a ton of blankets and stuff and we covered our mattresses with them. we played splatoon on our switches for a bit, we played clam blitz on league, and we actually did really well. i actually contributed to my team quite a bit during it, which made me happy. when we had to charge our switches, s asked if i wanted to watch something. s has wanted to get into danganronpa, and i’m already obsessed with it, so i suggest that we start watching a non-commentary playthrough of trigger happy havoc. i love danganronpa, i can play or watch it a million times and still be engaged and never get bored of it. we ended up watching it for hours, with s lowering the volume whenever a character swore since her parents dislike swearing. while we were watching, we were on our mattresses, i was lying down on my back. out of nowhere, s lay down right next to me with our heads pretty much touching. i don’t have feelings for s or anything, but my heart was beating like crazy and i was so happy. i’ve become extremely sensitive to physical contact since i’ve been starved of it my whole life, and when i do get it, it makes me really happy. i think it might do the thing it does when you hug someone or something, where it releases those chemicals in your head that make you happy. that moment only lasted for a few seconds before she moved, but that was a definite highlight of the sleepover. 

in the middle of chapter 1, before sayaka’s body is discovered, we had dinner. we had spaghetti bolognese, and the whole family sat at the table. they were all really nice. they were talking, making jokes and laughing almost the entire time. i want a family like that. i always eat my meals in my room by myself, so this was kind of new to me. after i finished dinner (i was last to finish because i’m a slow eater) we went back to watching danganronpa, and when we got up to the beginning of the class trial, i went to have a shower and s went to get changed since she wanted to have a shower in the morning instead. s let me shower in her bathroom, i’m not exactly sure why, but i accepted and went to her shower. her mom told me she left me a towel on s’s bed. i went into the bathroom, and i looked in her bathroom drawers for a little bit. there was just normal stuff like brushes, dental flosses and pads. i stopped and started getting ready to shower, and after undressing, i realized i forgot to grab the towel. the towel was on her bed, but i was terrified to go get it since i was already naked. after panicking for a bit, i grabbed my hoodie i had taken off (it’s big so it covered my lower regions) and quickly snuck out of the room, grabbed the towel, then went back into the shower. there was no one in the bedroom, but the bedroom door was open and i couldn’t risk being seen naked. i hate my body. her shower was a bit weird, but i liked it. she had a ton of body washes and shampoo bottles and such on the side. i didn’t know which one to use so i ended up using a random one. there was also a small figure toy thing of a goldfish beside the shower. after the shower, i realized there wasn’t a floor mat and the floor would get really wet. i stayed as still as i could while drying off with the towel, then put it on the ground to use as a floor mat. i picked up the towel after i was dressed and left. s was waiting for me on her bed, and after, we went back to the theatre room to finish chapter 1 of trigger happy havoc. 

s said her favorite characters in the introductions were leon, toko and chihiro. when sayaka died, s was happy because she didn’t like sayaka. when i first played trigger happy havoc and sayaka died, i cried for a while so i couldn’t relate to her. during most of the trial, s was certain that toko was the killer since during the investigation, mondo says none of the boys used their toolboxes so s thought the culprit must have been a girl. s guessed pretty early on in the trial that sayaka tried to frame makoto but ended up getting killed, but she didn’t know it was leon, and completely forgot about sayaka’s dying message. during leon’s execution, she cried a bit, which really hurt me, despite me encouraging her to feel emotions during danganronpa earlier. i tried my best to comfort her, but i don’t think i did a good job. after that at midnight, s wanted to go to sleep. i wanted us to watch a silent voice and make popcorn since i had brought popcorn, but since she wanted to sleep, i decided against it. we went to sleep, though it took me ages to fall asleep. i move around a lot when i go to sleep and sleep, but the sounds the air mattresses made were annoying and loud, so i couldn’t move a lot. i have really bad insomnia, so it took me at least an hour to fall asleep. probably longer since i had grown a headache and felt sick from being anxious from not sleeping in my own bed in my bedroom. i kept waking up in the middle of the night. at around 8:30 we woke up, i was really tired. s wanted to make us pancakes, and since i’ve never eaten or made pancakes and knew trying to help would only annoy her, i decided to just sit on the side and play animal crossing. after a while, the pancakes were done, and me, s and her sister ate the pancakes while we watched beastars. i feel like i should mention i’ve already watched beastars, but s and her sister were in the middle of it. the pancakes were good, but i discovered i don’t really like pancakes. i was too scared to ask for toast, so i didn’t eat much. me and s kept watching beastars in the theatre room, and then my mom came to pick me up. 

it was hot outside, and my mom and s’s mom were talking for ages before they decided to split, so me and s had no choice but to just stand there in the sun. after what felt like ages, s gave me a side-hug and i returned it, then me and my mom left. i enjoyed my time there, but i was happy to go back home. my room is my happy place. when i got home, the first thing i did was take a shower since i really felt like having one. i didn’t get to clean myself properly the night before because i was anxious about taking too long. after that, i just did a bunch of random stuff passing the time, like going through reddit, watching my favorite youtubers’ new videos etc. and all that brings us to right now, me making this page and writing this entry. 

i have to go back to school tomorrow, but we only have 2 weeks of school left until a 2 week break. i have a math exam and history exam next week, neither of which i care for too much. i’m mad i have to take them though, i don’t want to. mainly history, i hate history. in my country, we learn about stupid stuff no one cares about in history. we learn the same stuff every single year, it’s stupid. knowing this stuff isn’t going to help us at all. at least in like america you’re learning about past events and presidents or whatever. all we learn about in history in my country is that the white people killed the natives a few hundred years ago. we learned this stuff in primary school, why are we still being taught it in high school? have they just run out of things to teach in history? in that case, just get rid of history as a subject. it’s that easy. oh god, i’ve gone off on a tangent, i’m sorry. i hate going to school. we never got to make popcorn, so i might make it tonight instead. the Komaeda jacket i ordered a while ago has finally been shipped, it’ll get here soon. i’m excited for that. 

#diary #Komaeda #Nagito #Komaeda kin