#this took a billion tries to actually publish but here we are!

[the-firebird69]

There are a few reasons to send Christmas cards to to myself this Christmas and holiday season and I am different races and even if Mac morlock and you celebrate Kwanzaa and you celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas and even in Asia they celebrate at this time of year and there are a couple holidays and they're not small one of them is about Confucius the other is the Asian New Year it's a different time than ours but it's not really about me getting money cuz I haven't seen it and you know you sent a lot of money your friend sent it and your friend's friend and relatives in this season of giving but it is more about figuring out what is wrong and we are oppressed the empire has a size of Antarctica covered with their shield and they are about to acquire more shield surface area from the pseudo empire and they say no but they are in process of beginning to do that and that's what's happening and they won't tell you. They are also going to acquire their fleet which is about 10 billion ships added to their 30 to 40 billion chips and there won't be another fleet up because Tommy f will be taken over unless people take ships and take the stone chips another such critical machines and giving cards to me and gift cards and money is one way to see just make sure that it goes through and I learned today that priority Mail has tracking so you can track where it goes and if you have teams of people doing it and helping you can track where it stops and try and figure out why and it is money that they don't want me to get that's another question. And I'm living in poverty depending on the government and right now they're threatening to cut the money off again I don't know what it's for and they're using these guys to do it for working at their houses and things and they're threatening society with what they're threatening me with is the way to look at it which is not direct and you also need to have a functioning post office.

Those are some very harsh reasons to send some assistance to me. But I do need funding because they're holding me here and I believe it's the empire and I'm not afraid to move it's just that they'll cut my money off if I do. And I believe that it's the empire doing that

Zues

I believe in my husband's statement strongly and I'm asking him to publish right now

Hera

We do too but we suggest ours don't send but just teams of people who are approved to do so by their own and we actually do that function meaning our people send it but we have fighting teams to do it and yes we are in Iraq too and Afghanistan and many places

Thor Freya

There's quite a Whopper he's saying but it's exactly true and we want us to go out now I will say that we've support our troops and our son is one of our troops and we've been trying to get him things for a long time this is boosting our morale because we see that he has support not only just from us but we are sending him things and trying to get them there it is amazing how many people have tried and been denied it's also a way to get information on the max Stone chips and the ones that he took from Tommy f

Frank Castle hardcastle

Not only that we're hearing people are figuring out how they're oppressing their area their community by doing this and sending funds so please if you can $1 or $5 or gift cards or things you think that he needs he needs things here and he doesn't have them and he's stuck in a flood zone and can't move and we know it's the max holding him here it's the empire and they pay people and you need to find out the people they're paying are poor and can't do anything and usually they used friends and family to ruin them and they're doing it to our son and we're tired of them so God bless this holiday and please if you can't give more than a small amount but he's asking for regular people to do so and to form groups and find out that these Max have the money

Duke nukem Blockbuster

It's going to go on forever unless you publish but I have something to say this is a great publication and I'm going to publish it to my people

Moana Ariana me too there's tons of us who will Uriel and goddess wife it's going to go on and on

But we believe in what he's saying Daniel I can't help but say this we have to have him do it Mike too I've never seen so much logic in my life and I never seen a response like this that I'm very very happy I'm having problems and I'm getting run all over the place if you can help me he says he wants you to send me some funds and I can use them and I'll have protection from you and you'll have knowledge and protection and you're going to know that we're in trouble and you can help raise your armies and I'm running around now some people know where I am Big Joe he's not on the run and he's still in Florida and this place is a trap and we're stuck in it I do need help too with the adventures for the realm and we're mistreated like massively by these Max they were stuck here by them like he is with nothing and they're doing it on purpose Preston

There are many people held here who are from your groups and they're oppressed and they are forced to fight each other and it spreads all over the world it's extremely evil but this is a time of giving and you must of course track what happens and you must see who's stopping it to protect yourself that's the spirit of giving that I'm requesting the spirit of Christmas that my brother had given to the world even after all his children were killed over and over by the max he still made things that made life better even though he had a plan but that plan I helped me to point out what the max for doing without it they would have silently done it so when you sing the song silent night holy night thinking my brother who is entombed and might die there and here's a night and so is his wife and their knighted by my grandma because of bravery

[irvinenewshq]

Will the media again Perrottets stand towards large playing?

NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet’s dedication to implementing obligatory cashless gaming playing cards for poker machines in his state — saying it’s a matter not of if, however how, it’s carried out — is, forgive the pun, a high-stakes gamble, however one which deserves help. For the primary time, a NSW chief is standing as much as the malignant playing trade which has dictated phrases to generations of NSW politicians. The golf equipment and pubs trade in NSW hates cashless playing cards with a ardour, fearing it’ll dry up billions of {dollars} in money from the proceeds of crime flowing by means of poker machines. Unsurprisingly, NSW Labor is refusing to help the concept. NSW Labor has taken $1.7 million in donations from the playing trade between 2001 and 2021, together with almost half one million {dollars} from ClubsNSW, the foyer group campaigning towards cashless playing cards. The Liberals have taken $2.9 million from the playing trade, together with round $1.5 million from ClubsNSW. However in the mean time that’s not amounting to a lot for a premier eager for a problem to marketing campaign on in a tricky election. Join a FREE 21-day trial and get Crikey straight to your inbox Opposing Perrottet inside his personal authorities are the ever-toxic Nationals, who’ve loved over three-quarters of one million {dollars} in donations from the playing foyer, together with over $300,000 from ClubsNSW. It was the Nationals, below John Barilaro, who derailed the push by then-gaming minister Victor Dominello for a cashless poker machine card in 2021. Let’s be clear right here: Perrottet is taking over a legal trade that makes use of its large revenues from the proceeds of crime and exploitation of distress to purchase political affect throughout either side of politics throughout the nation. The refusal of Labor and the Nationals to help him speaks volumes for the toxic function that playing cash performs in politics. As Mike Baird discovered when he took on the playing trade over its slaughter and torture of greyhounds, or as Tasmanian Labor found when it tried poker machine reform, Perrottet may but discover that the mixed energy of the playing foyer is simply too nice. Essential to the playing trade’s success in forcing a reverse on the problem of greyhounds was its capability to take advantage of the media, significantly rabid shock jocks on Sydney radio. Since then Information Corp has change into a joint media-gambling firm — though its playing property Betr operates in on-line gaming, not poker machines. The place The Day by day Telegraph strains up will likely be vital for Perrottet’s possibilities of success. If it sides with the criminals and exploiters, it’ll make his probabilities a lot tougher. 9’s Sydney Morning Herald has been extra lively in mentioning the malignant function of ClubsNSW however 9, too, has its personal playing pursuits by way of the huge quantity of on-line playing promoting it inflicts on readers, and the relentless propaganda for the horse torture trade it churns out. Once more, a special phase of the playing trade, however for each 9 and Information Corp, there’s an actual take a look at coming over the stress between income and public curiosity journalism. For political events, these points could be a lot less complicated in the event that they determined that taking cash from the playing trade was now not acceptable. The price could be vital, however fairly mutual. Do you help Perrottet’s stand towards the playing trade? Tell us your ideas by writing to [email protected]. Please embody your full identify to be thought of for publication. We reserve the suitable to edit for size and readability. Originally published at Irvine News HQ

#Irvine News HQ

[surrexcrunt]

( denim jacket, pink sunglasses, tongue sticking out when she smiles ) –– && it looks like rose tyler has finally arrived in woodshore ( though she originates from doctor who ). although known as a ESTATE GIRL back home, here they are a twenty-five year old sales associate, known to be CARING, but STUBBORN. they were coaxed here with the promise of THE DOCTOR. they remember BEING LEFT ALONE ON BAD WOLF BAY.

Hello! I’m L, an actual goblin.  This is my first time playing Rose but I’m excited to be here!!

from what point in your characters canon are they taken from?

Rose is taken from the end of Doomsday, after the projection of The Doctor fades away.and she’s left standing alone on the beach at Bad Wolf Bay.

what are the basics of their ‘new lives’?

Whenever Rose was brought to this new universe, her new life was basically what her old life would have been like if she’d never met The Doctor (without the whole living plastic almost killing her bit).  She was back at Powell Estates, living with Jackie.  Though she tried to enroll in Univeristy classes, nothing worked out for her and she ended back up at the shop, working to help her mum out.  

what were they promised upon arrival in woodshore, and what was their reaction to receiving it?

She was promised The Doctor, but she hasn’t seen him yet and that’s eating away at her a little bit.  

when they arrived in woodshore and received what was taken of them, did they gain any memories of their past? if so, what memories do they have?

Rose got all of her memories back whenever she came to Woodshore, which makes her even more desperate to find The Doctor. 

That’s it for now, though I’ll probably write up something more substantial in the future.  If you want to plot, don’t hesitate to let me know (just roll into my IMs and start yelling and we’ll probably be friends forever tbh)

#woodshore: starter #this took a billion tries to actually publish but here we are!

[nashibirne]

Gimme Shelter - 6

Sorry, it took me a while to write the next chapter but I was kinda busy. I hope you still want to know how things are going and growing between Henry and Kat. If you like this, please reward me with a comment, reblog or like 💜

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.0k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 6: A disruptive factor and The Lonely Hearts Club meets again.

You can find the previous chapters and my other fics on my masterlist!

Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues, lots of poetry

Unbeta'ed. English isn't my first language. Mistakes ahead and they're all mine.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill or anyone who's related to him in any way, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81

So, enough of the small print...here we go:

**********

As much as Kat enjoyed her time with Henry and the feelings that blossomed between them there was this one disruptive factor called Mel.

When they were sitting on that rock the other day, almost kissing, when they were pouring their hearts out afterwards, it all felt so real, so possible, so tangible but whenever she saw Hen talk to Mel her heart sank and doubt started to nag at her hope. And he not only talked to Mel, he went to her place several times and so Kat went to London for contract negotiations with a publishing house with mixed feelings. 

She wanted to trust Henry who always laughed it off, when Kat asked him about Mel, saying they were just having a neighbourly chat, but she also wasn't willing to be heading for the rocks blindly. She wasn't able to ignore the existence of Mel and the connection between her and the man Kat had fallen for again. 

She missed Henry terribly when she was away though. Five days without him made her realize how close they had grown and how much she enjoyed being around him. Five lonely nights in a hotel bed increased her doubts and her worries, her jealousy and her insecurities. She couldn't stop her mind from creating worst case scenarios of Hen being with Mel. Of Mel seducing him, of Henry having sex with her, falling for the attractive, charming blonde who knew how to enchant a man. She imagined how he got trapped by this woman who'd never tried to hide that she was looking for a new husband, a new provider, after the last one had the audacity to die and leave her with a big, beautiful mansion but not with the amount of money Mel had hoped for. And in all these scenarios Kat was the one who was left behind with a broken heart. Again. 

When she returned to St. Ives on Saturday afternoon she found Lydia working in the garden and Sam in the kitchen, baking bread. Her brother hugged her, leaving handprints of flour on her black shirt.

"How was London?" 

Kat plopped down on a chair with a sigh. "Successful but exhausting. I can't believe that I actually liked living there. The traffic is horrible and all those people and the noise…"

"Good thing you're back in our beautiful, little sanctuary then. We've missed you. Even Darcy came looking for you every day." Sam shoved the loaf of bread he'd just moulded into the oven before he washed his hands and sat down at the table across from his younger sister.

"Really?" An amused smile played on Kat's lips. "And I thought Henry and Kal are all he cares about recently. How's Hen by the way? On the phone he said he's fine?"

"He is, I guess. No more panic attacks as far as I know. He's been in a pretty good mood all week, busy and full of energy."

Sam poured himself a glass of water and offered one to Kat too but she declined with a shake of her head.

"Where is he anyway?"

"At Mel's." 

Kat's expression changed from curious to annoyed in an instant. "Again? What's he doing there?"

"Having a coffee and a chat, I guess," Sam shrugged. "I don't know the details."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Of course not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Then why do you say it?"

Kat looked at Sam with a frown. "Nevermind."

"No, come on. Spill it. Are you implying I know something I won't tell you?" Sam got a little cross now.

"I'm not implying anything. I just don't understand why he spends so much time at her place and I can hardly believe your old rugby mate hasn't told you." She crossed her arms and gave her brother an expectant look.

"He told me what I've just told you. What do you think they're doing? Having a secret affair?" He let out a snort, laughing just at the thought of Hen and Mel but when he saw the frown on Kat's face it dawned on him. "Wait? That's what you're thinking? That something's going on between them? You're jealous?"

"Does that sound so far-fetched? She tries to dig her nails into every man who seems to be good husband material. She tried it with you and you don't need a crystal ball to know that she's for sure trying it with Hen too. And for the record...I'm worried about him, not jealous." Kat was all worked up now and Sam could easily tell that he'd hit a sore point.

"Henry is not an idiot, Kat. From my own experience I can tell you that Mel is anything but an enigma. I could tell what she's looking for after our first and only date and a man like Hen, who has to deal with gold diggers all the time, will see right through her without problems. There's no need to worry. And no need to be jealous." He grinned at her and Kat made a face. "Did you even listen to me? I've just told you that…"

"That you're not jealous. Yeah...yackety-yack. I know you, sis. You're in love with him. Don't try to deny it." Kat sighed and surrendered with a resigned smile. "Fuck, yeah and I feel like I'm sixteen again, Sammy. Confused and clueless. What is it about him that makes me feel like that? Why does it have to be so damn complicated?"

"It's not complicated. Trust him and listen to your heart."

"It's not that easy."

"No, obviously it's not. So maybe you should just ask him about Mel and work on your trust issues."

"It's not like I haven't asked him about her before. But I guess you're right. I'm gonna try again and talk to him tonight." She gave her brother a nod.

"At the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club?" Sam winked at her with a grin that made Kat chuckle.

"He's told you about it?"

"Yeah. He's talked about it all week. Running around with piles of books, volumes of poems as far as I could see. Copying entire pages by hand into a notebook. To be honest, I think it's the reason for his good mood."

****

Maybe, Kat thought, or maybe he just enjoys fooling around with Mel.

When Kat climbed up the rope ladder a few hours later she had managed successfully to avoid Henry up to this point. She had spent the rest of the day in her room, brooding over Sam's words, about Henry and Mel for the umpteenth time and about the club meeting of course. She was close to chickening out but she decided to get her shit together and to enjoy the time with Henry on their little stroll down memory lane. And maybe, just maybe, she would even find the courage to ask him about Mel.

"Kat!" Henry flashed her one of those billion dollar smiles when she entered the tree house. "There you are." He hugged her and gave her a look full of relief. "I haven't seen you all afternoon. I was a little worried you'd stand me up." 

"Neighbourly duties?" Kat asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

She gave him a smile and shrugged. "Well, you were not around when I came back…"

"Yeah...I was busy." He grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. 

"Huh?"

"Sam said you went to visit Mel."

"Ah, yes. Yes, I did. You know we have a little chat every once in a while. She's...nice."

"How lovely."

"The room looks great, Hen." 

The awkward silence that fell over the room made them both uncomfortable. The unexpected tension left Henry in a state of insecurity. He'd hoped for an easy time with Kat, some intimate moments to share but the start of the night wasn't very promising. He cleared his throat before giving Kat a goofy smile.

"Shall we begin? I've prepared a little something. A few poems and...yeah." He shrugged helplessly and to his big relief Kat nodded with a smile. "Of course."

It was only then that Kat realized that Henry had decorated the treehouse with loving care. Blankets and cushions on the floor and candles in the corner of the room created a very warm and cozy atmosphere and a huge pile of books showed her that Henry was very well prepared for the first meeting of the Lonely Hearts Club since 1999. 

"Thanks, kitty. Let's sit." He plopped down beside the books, his long legs stretched out and Kat sat down cross-legged next to him, placing a little bluetooth speaker on the floor. "Prepare for some 90s flashback. I picked all the cheesy love songs we listened to non-stop." She started the playlist and soft music filled the air. Henry smiled at her and took a deep breath before he started to speak solemnly in his best statesman's voice.

The way he looked at her took her breath away for a moment, his gaze intense and pleading, he seemed so vulnerable it made her heart miss a beat. She wanted to kiss the insecurity and sadness that crossed his handsome face away but her own doubts made her fight the need to be close to him. Instead she took the notebook he handed her over and opened it. She stared at the name of the poem that was written down in Henry's neat handwriting on the first page. 

"I hereby declare the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club open. Present are the founding members Katherine Elisabeth Spencer and Henry William Cavill."

Kat couldn't help but chuckle. He was such a dork.

"Would you do me the honor of reciting the first poem, dear kitty?" 

She knew it all too well and yet she'd almost forgotten it existed. Forgotten or repressed, it didn't really matter, she still knew it by heart, since it was the very poem she had read countless times after Henry had broken her heart. The fact that he knew it too, that he'd chosen these verse to be read out loud made her wonder if it was as familiar to him as it was to her. She cleared her throat, closed the book and her eyes and started to recite.

"When we two parted by George Gordon Byron."

She paused and took another deep breath.

"When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this."

Kat flinched slightly when she felt Henry's warm hand in hers. She looked at him and she wasn't surprised when he continued, his voice warm and soothing like thick, golden honey.

"The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow—

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame."

The game was the same it used to be back in the days at Stowe. They took turns to read the stanza. The only difference was that they were holding hands now. Kat spoke the next words with a steady voice although on the inside she was trembling.

"They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me—

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell."

She smiled at Henry, sensing that he needed her reinsurance for the last paragraph. He returned the smile and went on. 

"In secret we met—

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears."

They sat in silence for several minutes, comfortable silence this time, the quiet connecting them in a way words never could.

"I've got another one you might like." Henry said softly after a while. He reluctantly let go of her hand, took the notebook and searched through the pages. "Here it is."

"Bring it on." Kat smiled at him, hardly able to hide the loving feelings that spread inside her chest and her belly. Henry nodded and began.

"My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old,

Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man;

And I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety."

"That's beautiful, pop." Kat blushed under Henry's smirk when he heard the nickname slip from her lips. "William Wordsworth?" she guessed.

"Yes. I'd never heard of it before, but Mel showed it to me the other day."

Kat's smile faded like a shadow in the dark.

"Oh really, did she? So that's what you're doing when you meet? You read poems to each other?" Her voice had chilled in an instant, her body language switched from open hearted to closed off. Henry was confused by the sudden change of tone.

"Yes, she told me about it when I mentioned that I was looking for romantic poems by british poets. And no, that's not what we usually do."

"And what do you do? Usually?" 

"Nothing special, as I've told you before. And honestly, Kat..it's none of your business anyway."

That felt like a slap in the face to her.

"Right...yeah...you're absolutely right. It's none of my business what you do or who you're fooling around with." Kat got up, tapping off non-existing dirt from her jeans with determined motions that showed how touched and churned up she was.

"Fooling around?" Henry got up too in a hurry, knocking his head on a branch that was part of the treehouse's roof. He cursed before he turned to Kat again. "You can't be serious. You don't really think I f...that I sleep with Mel, do you?"

"I don't know what to think, Henry. You spend so much time with her lately…"

"And I've told you it's harmless and I just visit our neighbour from time to time." He tried to take her hand but Kat took a step back, turning around to stare out of the window with a deep sigh.

"You still don't trust me." His voice was sad now and there was a note of disappointment too. 

"I really want to, Henry. But it's so hard…" Her shoulders were trembling and her soft sobs told him she was crying. He hugged her gently from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I know, kitty. And I know that I'm the one to blame for this dilemma. But you have to believe me. There's nothing between me and Mel. I don't fuck her and I'm not interested in her. I only care about you. Okay?" The last words were nothing more than a whisper in her ear, a light breeze of tones that made her want to believe him. She nodded, leaning into his embrace but she wasn't able to give him a proper answer. The truth was she had no answer. She knew she loved him but what she didn't know was if she was going to allow herself to act accordingly. 

"Listen, Kat. This might not be the right time nor place to do this, but I need to ask you something. I'm going to Jersey next week for my mum's 70s birthday and I wonder if you'd want to come with me?"

Kat turned around in his arms abruptly, taken by surprise by his question. He didn't let go of her waist and so she found herself closer than ever to him, his gorgeous face right in front of her. "You want me to go to Jersey with you?" He nodded. "As my plus one. Yes." She freed herself carefully from his embrace. "But…"

"Let me explain." Henry took a step back to give her some space. "My mum invited me months ago and I accepted...of course...but to be honest, I've dreaded that family gathering since day one. All eyes will be on me, everyone's gonna try to wrap me up in cotton wool, walking on eggshells around me, wondering if I'm okay." He sighed and shrugged. "Don't get me wrong. I'm beyond grateful to have a family that is worried about me, loving people who care, but it also stresses me out. Having you by my side would be very helpful and besides that, I would hate to be separated from you again. Those five days last week were long enough, Kat and don't even make me start with the 22 years prior. You have no idea how much I missed you." He gave her a sheepish smile and she couldn't help but return it. "I missed you too, Hen. But I'm really not sure if this is a good idea. Your parents hardly know me."

"Don't be silly. They remember you very well. You spent Christmas 1998 with us. Please don't say you forgot about that...my parents invited you after I spent the summer with your family here in St. Ives."

"Of course I remember that. It was the most lively and jolly Christmas of my childhood. All those people at your parents house, the chatter and singing and goofing about, it was such a stark contrast to Christmas with my family."

"See...you can have that again. A crowded, noisy place, loads of laughter, alcohol, fun and food. When I asked my mum if it's okay to invite you she was so excited, Kat. She'd love to see you again and so would my dad and my brothers. And I'm sure you're gonna like my sisters-in-law and all my nephews and nieces." Kat smiled.

"That sounds good."

"So you're in?"

"I don't know. Where would we stay? At your parent's?"

"No. I always stay at a small cottage near the beach when I visit them. I bought it a few years ago."

Kat started to chew on her lower lip.

"Two bedrooms." Henry added with a wink before making the next try to take her hands. This time she didn't pull back. "Please say yes, Kat. Let's spend some time together. We can stay there for a week or so. When the whole Cavill bunch leaves after the celebration, it will only be you and me and lots of time to...to bond again. So what do you say?"

*******

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill slow burn #slow burn

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Facebook vs Robert Bork

Unless you're a certain kind of conservative, you probably haven't heard of Robert Bork, but he's one of the most important people you've never heard of. The best way to understand Bork is that he was Ronald Reagan's court sorcerer.

Reagan was an empty vessel with the hands of ruthless plutocrats shoved up his asshole*, operating him like a hand puppet for their collective will to power.

He served as a kind of dowsing rod for policies that would transfer wealth from the 99% to the 1%.

*Hence the polyps

That dowsing rod pointed straight at Bork. Bork was an alternate history writer, a fabulist with a unique and wildly improbable theory of antitrust statutes: that if you studied the Sherman Act and the Clayton Act with Qanon-style fervor, you'd find hidden messages in them.

Specifically, you would discover that the lawmakers who drafted, debated, amended and passed these laws thought monopolies were good, actually. They were only concerned with a small and possibly mythical minority of monopolies that were "harmful."

Not just any harms: Bork said that these ancient sages were worried about *consumer* harms, which, practically speaking, means monopolies that use their power to raise prices. This, he said, was the only thing that the government should step in to prevent.

Since it is nearly impossible to prove that a given merger or tactic would result in higher prices before the fact, and *also* it's nearly impossible to prove that a price rise after the fact was attributable to monopolism we should probably just forget about antitrust.

Reagan loved this. By shifting antitrust's focus from *democratic* harms (like reducing choice, distorting regulation, hurting workers, etc) to *consumer* harms, he could demote "citizens" (who have a role in shaping policies) to "consumers" - mere ambulatory wallets.

Reagan tried to get Bork a seat on the Supreme Court, but there was a little problem. Bork had committed a string of disgusting crimes while serving as Nixon's Solicitor General, and the Senate refused to confirm him for a seat.

(Conservatives were outraged that committing crimes at the highest level of government disqualified you from the Supreme Court and coined the term "Borked" to describe rich, powerful people who had to face the unfair prospect of being held accountable for their actions)

But Bork - along with the Chicago School economists - went on to completely revolutionize the world's conception of anti-monopoly enforcement, as neoliberal leaders all over the world (Thatcher, Mulroney, Pinochet, Kohl, etc) took up his theories and tuned them into policy.

Bork was a fringe figure, but he was preaching a gospel that stood to make the richest people on Earth *so much richer*, and they bankrolled the hell out of his theories.

For example, 40% of US federal judges have attended "continuing education" seminars at an annual lush Florida junket where they are initiated into the bizarre world of "consumer harm" theory.

https://crookedtimber.org/2018/10/18/law-and-economics/

40 years later, monopolism has surged in every industry, from bottlecaps to pharma, from poultry to pro wrestling, from eyeglasses to emergency rooms, from oil to car parts, from music to publishing to movies to online services to telecoms.

All driven by mergers, all resulting in higher prices (so much for "consumer harm") all wildly distorting of public policy (the decision to let Boeing self-certify the 737 Max is repeated in thousands of ways across hundreds of industries), all brutal news for workers.

It's a disaster, but it's one that we have been powerless to avert or address for so long as "consumer harm" ruled antitrust enforcement.

Finally, that's changing.

In 2019, Dina Srinivasan published a landmark paper: "The Antitrust Case Against Facebook," which made *incredibly* clever arguments showing that FB's democratic harms were also consumer harms, meaning FB could be sued without first undoing Borkism.

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3247362

But the magic of this work was in revealing the poverty of the consumer harm standard: she laid out the innumerable ways in which FB is bad for society and showed how a sliver of these harms were technically illegal, raising the question: why isn't *all* this stuff illegal?

Today, Facebook was hit with *two* antitrust suits, one from the FTC and the other from almost every US state (including California!).

The complaints say that FB's acquisitions of Instagram and Whatsapp were anticompetitive.

https://www.theverge.com/2020/12/9/22158483/facebook-antitrust-lawsuit-anti-competition-behavior-attorneys-general

Of course, they *were* anticompetitive. We know, because Zuck - who specializes in tripping over his own dick - sent out memos extolling the acquisitions' anticompetitive advantages, proving he hasn't learned a thing since he traded incriminating IMs about founding FB.

https://www.esquire.com/uk/latest-news/a19490586/mark-zuckerberg-called-people-who-handed-over-their-data-dumb-f/

The complaints build on Srinivasan's work and they carry the same flavor: claiming "consumer harms" in the acquisitions, but winking and nodding toward a broader, more democracy-focused (and less consumer-focused) critique of monopoly.

It's a weird tightrope act: they want to win, so their argument is designed to balance on the single, fragile hair that borkism stretches across the chasm of monopoly enforcement, but they wanna make sure we see that big sturdy bridge of nonbork antitrust right there.

If there was any doubt, it was erased by the remedies demanded in the complaints. The prosecutors aren't asking for money damages - a fine is a price, after all - instead, they want FB to sell off the companies it bought for illegal purposes.

And they want FB to get regulatory approval for future acquisitions (though the states will let it buy companies for less than $10m without approval). These are not "consumer harm" remedies - they're "democracy" remedies, aimed at removing the company's source of power.

Facebook has stood up a website explaining why it's a cuddly mom-and-pop business that's being bullied by mean government meanies:

https://about.fb.com/building-to-compete/

The argument's pretty similar to the one laid out in a leaked memo in October:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/05/florida-man/#dnr

Basically: it would be really hard for us to unwind these illegal, anticompetitive mergers. Seriously, it would cost a bundle and take so much work!

This is an unserious argument, and it shows how badly FB has misgauged the mood.

All of FB's arguments are garbage, really. Take the line that ex-British-Deputy-PM-turned-FB-salesdroid Nick Clegg has been peddling: "STOP TRYING TO BREAK UP FACEBOOK OR THE CHINESE WILL WIN!"

https://www.cnet.com/news/facebooks-nick-clegiden-must-unite-global-powers-to-shape-internet-amid-china-threat

The company's best arguments are about "market definition" - to claim that they don't have a monopoly because of all the competitors they face, provided you define FB's market broadly enough.

Like, "Here at Facebook, we are in the 'using computers' business. Now, just think of how much time you spend using a computer without interacting with FB! Your car has a computer and it's not on FB! How can you say we have a monopoly?!"

If you want to see someone making this argument as well as it can possibly be made and literally getting laughed at by a University of Chicago (!) audience, check out this debate from 2019:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Jp-GJ9LM0

Forcing FB to divest itself of Whatsapp and Instagram is a no-brainer. The company lied to secure those mergers, broke the promises it made to get permission to make them, and the penalty for that should be unwinding those mergers.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/07/dont-believe-proven-liars-absolute-minimum-standard-prudence-merger-scrutiny

And if FB fights this for a decade the way IBM fought its antitrust action, fine - IBM outspent the entire DoJ antitrust division every year for 12 years (Bork called it "antitrust's Vietnam"), but even though Big Blue wasn't broken up, they had their spirit broken.

It was fear of another tangle with antitrust regulators that caused IBM to sit idly by while Phoenix cloned the PC ROMs and created the PC clone industry, which became the US computing industry.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/08/ibm-pc-compatible-how-adversarial-interoperability-saved-pcs-monopolization

And it was the same fear that caused IBM to hire an outside company to make the OS for its PCs, getting a couple of nerds named Paul Allen and Bill Gates to supply one for them.

IBM's 12 years of antitrust hell focused the attention of every tech giant of the age, letting them know what was on their horizon if they acted like IBM had. It created the US tech industry.

Today, VCs call the businesses that Big Tech dominates "the kill zones" because they know that monopolists have the market power to destroy any startup that tries to compete with them.

There is an entire - better, more pluralistic - tech industry that's been suppressed by Big Tech. If FB and Goog and Apple and the other tech giants spend the next decades throwing billions at the FTC and the states attorneys general, it will be money well-spent.

Because it will be money that these companies don't get to spend destroying the next wave of tech companies, co-ops, and platforms.

#pluralistic

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

December 18, 2020

Heather Cox Richardson

A year ago today, the House of Representatives voted to impeach President Donald J. Trump on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.

In his plea to Senators to convict the president, Adam Schiff (D-CA), the lead impeachment manager for the House, warned “you know you can’t trust this president to do what’s right for this country.” Schiff asked: “How much damage can Donald Trump do between now and the next election?” and then answered his own question: “A lot. A lot of damage.” “Can you have the least bit of confidence that Donald Trump will… protect our national interest over his own personal interest?” Schiff asked the senators who were about to vote on Trump’s guilt. “You know you can’t, which makes him dangerous to this country.’’

Republicans took offense at Schiff’s passionate words, seeing them as criticism of themselves. They voted to acquit Trump of the charges the House had levied against him.

And a year later, here we are. A pandemic has killed more than 312,000 of us, and numbers of infections and deaths are spiking. Today we hit a new single-day record of reported coronavirus cases with 246,914, our third daily record in a row. The economy is in shambles, with more than 6 million Americans applying for unemployment benefits. And the government has been hobbled by a massive hack from foreign operatives, likely Russians, who have hit many of our key departments.

Today it began to feel as if the Trump administration was falling apart as journalists began digging into a number of troubling stories.

Acting Defense Secretary Christopher Miller, appointed by Trump after he fired Defense Secretary Mark Esper by tweet on November 9, this morning abruptly halted the transition briefings the Pentagon had been providing, as required by law, to the incoming Biden team. Observers were taken aback by this unprecedented halt to the transition process, as well as by the stated excuse: that Defense Department officials were overwhelmed by the number of meetings the transition required. Retired four-star general Barry R. McCaffrey, a military analyst for NBC and MSNBC, tweeted: “Pentagon abruptly halts Biden transition—MAKES NO SENSE. CLAIM THEY ARE OVERWHELMED. DOD GOES OPAQUE. TRUMP-MILLER UP TO NO GOOD. DANGER.”

After Axios published the story and outrage was building, Miller issued a statement saying the two sides had decided on a “mutually-agreed upon holiday, which begins tomorrow.” Biden transition director Yohannes Abraham promptly told reporters: “Let me be clear: there was no mutually agreed upon holiday break. In fact, we think it’s important that briefings and other engagements continue during this period as there’s no time to spare, and that’s particularly true in the aftermath of ascertainment delay," a reference to the delay in the administration’s recognition of Biden’s election.

Later, the administration suggested the sudden end to the transition briefings was because Trump was angry that the Washington Post on Wednesday had published a story showing how much money Biden could save by stopping the construction of Trump’s border wall. Anger over a story from two days ago seems like a stretch, a justification after the briefings had been cancelled for other reasons. The big story of the day, and the week, and the month, and the year, and probably of this administration, is the sweeping hack of our government by a hostile foreign power. The abrupt end to the briefings might reflect that the administration isn’t keen on giving Biden access to the crime scene.

Republicans appear to be trying to cripple the Biden administration more broadly. The country has been thrilled by the arrival of the Pfizer-BioNTech coronavirus vaccine that promises an end to the scourge under which we’re suffering. Just tonight, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) authorized a second vaccine, produced by Moderna, for emergency authorization use. This vaccine does not require ultracold temperatures for shipping the way the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine does. Two vaccines for the coronavirus are extraordinarily good news.

But this week, as the first Pfizer-BioNTech vaccines were being given, states learned that the doses the federal government had promised were not going to arrive, and no one is quite sure why. The government blamed Pfizer, which promptly blasted the government, saying it had plenty of vaccines in warehouses but had received no information about where to send them. Then the White House said there was confusion over scheduling.

Josh Kovensky at Talking Points Memo has been following this story, and concluded a day or so ago that the administration had made no plans for vaccine distribution beyond February 1, when the problem would be Biden’s. Kovensky also noted that it appears the administration promised vaccine distribution on an impossible timeline, deliberately raising hopes for vaccine availability that Biden couldn’t possibly fulfill. Today Kovensky noted that there are apparently doses missing and unaccounted for, but no one seems to know where they might be.

Today suggested yet another instance of Republican bad faith. With Americans hungry and increasingly homeless, the nation is desperate for another coronavirus relief bill. The House passed one last May, but Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell refused to take it up. Throughout the summer and fall, negotiations on a different bill failed as Republicans demanded liability protection for businesses whose employees got coronavirus after they reopened, and Democrats demanded federal aid to states and local governments, pinched as tax revenue has fallen off during the pandemic. Now, though, with many Americans at the end of their rope, McConnell indicated he would be willing to cut a deal because the lack of a relief package is hurting the Republican Senate candidates before the runoff election in Georgia on January 5. Both sides seemed on the verge of a deal.

That deal fell apart this afternoon after Senator Pat Toomey (R-PA) with the blessing of McConnell, suddenly insisted on limiting the ability of the Federal Reserve to lend money to help businesses and towns stay afloat. These were tools the Trump administration had and used, but Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin tried to kill them after Trump lost the election. The Federal Reserve’s ability to manage fiscal markets is key to addressing recessions. Removing that power would gravely hamper Biden’s ability to help the nation climb out of the recession during his administration.

It’s hard not to see this as a move by McConnell and Senate Republicans to take away Biden’s power—power enjoyed by presidents in general, and by Trump in particular—to combat the recession in order to hobble the economy and hurt the Democrats before the 2022 election.

Money was in the news in another way today, too. Business Insider broke the story that the Trump campaign used a shell company approved by Jared Kushner to pay campaign expenses without having to disclose them to federal election regulators. The company was called American Made Media Consultants LLC. Trump’s daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, was president, and Vice President Mike Pence’s nephew, John Pence, was vice president until the two apparently stepped down in late 2019 to work on the campaign. The treasurer was the chief financial officer of the Trump campaign, Sean Dollman.

The Trump campaign spent more than $700 million of the $1.26 billion of campaign cash it raised in the 2020 cycle through AMMC, but to whom it paid that money is hidden. Former Republican Federal Election Commission Chairman Trevor Potter is trying to take up the slack left by the currently crippled Federal Elections Commission. His organization, the Campaign Legal Center, a nonpartisan clean election group, last July accused the Trump campaign of "disguising" campaign funding of about $170 million "by laundering the funds" through AMMC.

This news adds to our understanding that Trump is leaving the White House with a large amount of cash. He has raised more than $250 million since November 3, urging his supporters to donate to his election challenges, but much of the money has gone to his own new political action committee or to the Republican National Committee. Recently, he has begged supporters to give to a “Georgia Election Fund,” suggesting that the money will go to the runoff elections for Georgia’s two senators, but 75% of the money actually goes to Trump’s new political action committee and 25% to the Republican National Committee.

Shane Goldmacher and Maggie Haberman at the New York Times note that are very few limits to how Trump can spend the money from his new PAC.

—-

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

#quotes #political #Letters From An American #Heather Cox Richardson #election 2020 #criminal negligence #criminal GOP #corrupt GOP #abuse of power

[ladyjenise]

This has been big news in Canada, but folks in other countries might be aware of this “charity” too since they operate globally. I’m talking about Canadaland’s White Saviours series on WE (also known as Free the Children.

Last year, during the pandemic WE charity took a bunch of money to run a program to help students find volunteer work. It was a LOT of money. Like almost a billion dollars. And it wasn’t opened to other non profits to apply to. Here’s a BBC article that gives an early rundown of what happened.

Up to this point, WE had a reputation as a “good” charity… to everyone except those who worked in the international development sector and a bit beyond into non profit in general.

Like most sectors, international development is a fairly well-connected sector of workers and a handful of large and medium charities who generally work with GAC (Global Affairs Canada) to develop and deliver international development programming. This is programming developed in partnership with organizations like the UN but even with local grassroots community partners. Goals are set, long term plans are funded, communities are strengthened. Its a far from perfect sector, but it tries.

WE pretended to belong to something like this sector, but it really did not. It wasn’t a member of international development groups like Cooperation Canada (you don’t HAVE to be a member - some small groups aren’t but WE was totally NOT a small group). They always had the capacity to reach out and partner with other like minded orgs. They never did.

Why? Because they were frauds. People in the sector talk, and it was known through the whisper networks that anyone who wanted to do actual international dev work should steer clear of WE. Their work was shabby voluntourism, they treated their staff and volunteers like cattle, and they regularly broke employment rules in the province where they operated.

Because of this, they routinely hired young, fresh, ignorant employees to work for them, and recruited volunteers out of schools after guilt tripping them (also a strategy the sector is trying to move away from - you know, the “starving child in Africa” trope).

When the pandemic started, my then-fairly new employer got concerned that the WE charity receiving so much government grants for programming would put our org in a lurch. I said to worry. Knowing what I knew about their sheer lack of competent staff and the rate of burnout, I said they wouldnt produce anything of quality and the government would be displeased. Little did i know that I wasn’t the only one side-eyeing the payout.

You have to understand that WE was a player in a sector with much more well-established players (maybe a good warning story about NOT letting a fucking 12 year old start a charity). These older players are decently connected with each other. Theyre not “competitors” per se. That’s considered gauche. But they are experienced and not afraid to speak up when they see some cray shit go down. And a few of them are part of collectives, as mentioned before (like Cooperation Canada).

Now, I can’t say for sure, but all those other charities saw the federal government drop money into WE ‘s grotesque lap and realized there had been no wider call for proposal. Sure, the pandemic meant things needed to move faster, but if you think only WE has the capacity to submit a proposal AND deliver in a quick time frame, you don’t know the charitable sector. What probably happened was the whisper networks kicked into overdrive and all these charities realized they were being fucked by WE and put a call out to the media.

The unwritten rule in the charity sector is you don’t generally shittalk other charities unless you can prove something. We knew FOR YEARS that WE was a rotten, useless, money hoarding and shallow organization. But could we prove it? No. That was the media’s job. But every time a media outlet went to publish a story, WE intervened with lawyers and high placed “friends” in media and government. Corruption. Instead, us workers sat back, realizing we’d have to wait for WE to fall into the noose themselves. And so they did. And the lure was a billion dollar closed federal grant.

If you were a kid in school that fell for WE’s pitches, don’t feel bad. It was designed to prey on you. I’ve seen them likened to a cult but the vibe was almost like multi level marketing. The fact this “charity” was never vetted before being allowed into schools to pitch their terrible voluntourism ideas was a huge societal failure. Not yours.

[rpbetter]

I genuinely don’t think the problem is as deep as people are seeing it as, with that whole resource blog and vent blog drama. I was there when it began, and it started because someone sent a submission that was recognizable enough to trace to that resource blog, who ended up calling themself out, and then a bunch of people dogpiling them, and then it turned into the 2021 edition of good old tumblr wank, mocking sockpuppets included. I essentially watched a bunch of 30 year olds call each other doodooheads like a couple kids on the playground, but at least kids forgive and forget after a day or two.

That’s probably why they’re avoiding this situation like the plague. The first time a submission went through about that resource blog, it made people feud like the Montagues and Capulets. Obviously they don’t wanna risk fueling that type of drama again. If it’s true that they aren’t letting these submissions through and it isn’t tied to reasons like tumblr eating the ask, then it’s probably because they don’t wanna be involved in this drama anymore. And I don’t blame them, because honestly, even as an observer I’m tired of seeing it, I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be for y’all who are actually involved. Geez. Who even has the energy for this much drama anyway? I’m tired just getting outta bed.

Sorry, Anon, I really had to!

Anyway, I'm sorry it took forever to get to your message, not only did I need a break from this, I needed to space out things related to it, it had taken over the blog. I appreciate that, despite how over it all you are, you were polite about how you feel. I know that is not always easy, and I do really appreciate it!

I hope that you don't feel I am being hostile to you about anything I say, it isn't meant that way. Differences of opinion, when not expressed hatefully, are always welcome here. I'm just going to try to express some of this situation from another perspective, and full disclosure, I'm pretty pissed off about it whether or not I actively want to be. This did impact my hobby, it did hurt people I care about, and I cannot believe such an unnecessary act lead to shit that is still going on.

On the first point...most things aren't as deep as we're given to feel they are after we've been made to feel incredibly unsafe, targeted, repeatedly let down and lied to, and experienced an astronomical level of sketchy behavior out of muns in a position that one is supposed to have some minor level of responsibility (as well as decent comportment) within. So, maybe it isn't that deep, but at this point, I very much cannot blame people for their concerns and suspicions.

And it was incredibly sketchy. CoaR, I'm just going to say it, everyone knows of which blog we're speaking at this point, did all of the following, breaking their own rules for moderation repeatedly:

allowed an actual, openly stated, callout blog to interact with their posts

allowed a meme blog to use their posts for the point of off-blog drama mongering, callouts, and outing themselves

would not moderate this situation as stated in their rules, when they've a bit of nasty record in the not too distant past of mass-blocking for far less and far more questionable reasons

did bother to post about how they weren't getting involved, as though this did not break multiple rules and absolutely is one's problem if it is your vent blog someone is using to create and foster bullying - simply giving the bizarre statement that blocking won't help anyone, when that isn't the point at all lol the point is being intolerant of people using your blog, that has to operate on a basis of being as safe a place as possible for venting (which is drama), this is about a stance and blog security, not being anyone's parent

just as weirdly vaguely threatening everyone first with all the mods "watching," because that's not actually implying an Orwellian parental role no one asked for, then with Sky once again misunderstanding the difference between being a " disciplinarian" and an ass

consistent lack of transparency on all counts

and then, yeah, there is the choice of publishing submissions/rebuttals combined with all of this and those submissions/rebuttals being what they are - not all related to "the drama," or in violation of the rules either, but the apparent willingness to publish them from one side of "the drama" there for a bit

I cannot blame people for feeling like all of this combined is a legitimately sketchy situation. One in which they've already, again, been made to feel unsafe within because COAR was used as a list for callouts.

When people see someone like Raven getting wildly different treatment by not being so much as warned, they're going to feel suspicion about the mod(s). It makes it so much worse that they chose to make the statements they did instead of a transparent, reasonable one like, "We apologize that CoaR was used the way it was, we should have blocked the callouts blog right away, but didn't. To reiterate the rules we've had in place for years, this blog is never to be used for callouts or taking bullying off-blog. Due to how widespread the problem has become, we will not be publishing anything related to it any longer. Submissions will be deleted so we can begin putting this behind us."

Acknowledge fault, apologize for it, say what you're doing to mitigate it now. That's it. Don't actively make it worse!

About the submissions...I know I'm alone in having tested that out. It isn't limited to things that either break the rules or are related to the issue. It's very select topics that are a bit uncomfortably aligned with the bias displayed, and from very select blogs. That's a problem. It's not selectively publishing based on drama-avoidance or rules, what CoaR has always done and no one here is taking an issue with.

I have 0 interest in things like trackers, they're far too easy/tempting to use maliciously for most people, and at the very best, they foster an environment of paranoia. What I know about them comes from really minimal personal experience (I wanted to see what posts people were most interested in on another blog, but it felt creepy with the amount of information I had, so I dropped that very fast) and what mutuals who use them have told me/questions they've answered.

So, is it possible the mod(s) is selectively deleting submissions from blogs they feel are a problem? Yes, it is totally possible. Do I know that for a fact? No, I totally do not. My point is that this is exactly the sort of paranoia that takes off when too many suspicious things happen back to back. You begin seeking the answers you are not getting, and you're seeking them because every day for a month or two, your experience logging in has been one of what the fresh hell. It's a need to insulate yourself from further exposure to harassment.

It's a very simple formula: act sketchy, people look at you like you're sketchy.

And I'm not going to condemn anyone for that.

I will also say that, unless several people deleted their comments or have me blocked in multiple places they somehow know of and take issue with, I did not see what you are describing when I read over the total explosion that happened...what, like a month, two months ago at this point? It was very fresh at the time.

What I saw was someone having submitted about a meme blog screenshotting their mutual's rules. Raven going off about it in a reblog. Two commentators trying to discuss the issue and finally, just saying they weren't surprised what meme blog it was once Raven outted themselves like a fully hinged individual interested in following CoaR's rules.

One of those s commentators is a friend, the mun whose rules were in the posts is a friend. I've never been anything but transparent about that. I'm also familiar with some of the other parties who ended up going on hiatus, but only from discussions on the vent blog over the years. So, yes, I do have personal investment here, and I do not feel like any of those people telling Raven and the callout blog they were at least involved with that their behavior was bullshit can be equated to immature shit slinging. There were even two muns who repeatedly tried to have a civil conversation with Raven, specifically, and for their efforts, got some of the most wildly juvenile treatment.

The worst things I saw came from hate anons and the callout blog.

The people receiving that treatment were largely driven off tumblr. For a time, forever, it differs with all of them. So, I feel like saying that about the thirty-year-olds thing is a little off. I'm not trying to be shitty, Anon, but the muns who tried to address Raven's bullshit were all of that age range. They're definitely continuing the drama, they're not here. They can't feel comfortable enough to be on their own blogs still.

I also am required ethically to say that we all really need to stop with throwing around ages like this. Again, I'm not trying to be hostile to you, Anon. I've been trying to show other people's perspective in this (it doesn't matter if you agree or not, I just think it's important to understanding, stopping, and prevent problems to have a fuller perspective that we often lack because we are incredibly tired of whatever is going on, and you're right, we are all really damn tired and also Tired), and as it is an advice blog, I try to address problems here. The pervasive ageism in the tumblr RPC is a problem.

It's a problem that gets discussed when it involves adults not wanting to interact with minors and, as I've seen it put several times, "treating them like the plague." There are a billion "conversations" and complaints about that, but there aren't many at all when it comes to the RPC's bizarre ideas about what age constitutes an adult (you're an actual child until around 23, you're ancient and need to die already, you pedo, at 26) and what being an adult actually is.

You do not turn thirty and lose your hobbies. You also do not turn thirty and become an ultra-mature adult, no leveling up into arcane Adult Knowledge and Behavior unlocks when you wake up on your thirtieth birthday. Between the ages of 17 and 27, you go through so many rapid changes in your cognition, but it levels off considerably after that. You're largely the same person at 32 as you were at 27, and you cannot say that about being...17 and 20, 22 and 25. It begins to take longer to see changes in who you are, those changes are less extreme - your personality, preferences, and viewpoints remain largely the same, they just refine a little here and there.

There is no line at which people "should" stop engaging in any hobby, and it's incredibly gross that the RPC seems to think anyone out of college-age should have no interests, let alone passionate ones, outside of going to work, having a family, and paying bills. That's a bit horrifyingly 1950's isn't it? It's also really misogynistic, considering that the primary base of the RPC is female or afab. When you deal in this, you're literally telling thirty-year-old people with uteruses that they should have no interests outside of birthing children and caring for them.

This isn't what you were doing, Anon, but it's part of the tumorous growth of this ideology that we casually throw around things like "a bunch of 30-year-olds" to make a point. We've seriously got to stop doing that, it isn't a message that most of us would agree with. There are other ways of saying "I think these people should behave more maturely since they're adults."

If I said something like, "well, they were just in their mid-twenties lol what do you expect?" I'd get hate anons, pants would be shat in, and more importantly, it would be wrong. That needs to work both ways, this isn't a separate issue.

An issue that repeatedly comes down to the absurdity of finding differences and drawing lines into cages around people in an environment in which we have the freedom to be more equal than in offline reality. We're all just people here, all just writing and interacting and loving characters. That's all we need to be, and all we need to be judged on is our behavior.

I'm sorry that anyone behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner during any and all of this. It was a heated thing that came to involve too many people and too much harassment, and those are factors that will always see people behaving in ways they would not normally engage in.

And like I said, you don't become some wise master of maturity at thirty! There is a problem mun I'm currently dealing with on another blog that is my age who is one of the most immature people I have ever run into. I have mutuals and friends in the early to mid-twenties who I'm confident weren't as childish as this mun when they were literal children. So, do people thirty and over behave in a seriously unbecoming, childish as hell manner? Yes, they so do! Whether it should be this way or not, you can't expect everyone to be at the same maturity level psychologically at any given age. To me, that just says that I shouldn't age-type people negatively. It isn't relevant where their behavior is.

Otherwise, I'm holding people at some nebulous age over thirty to higher expectations than other equally adult-range people. It isn't acceptable for anyone to behave in the ways I witnessed and was subjected to. It's not even acceptable in teenagers, it's just more understandable (not excusable) because they're working with many things they quite literally cannot control at all times. To act this way is telling everyone below thirty that they're just immature, irresponsible, dicks. It's insulting to them to be labeled in this way, too, even if too many of them see it as a free pass and are, thus, okay with it right now. They won't be, eventually.

Anyway, again, I'm not trying to be shitty to you! I don't think you meant anything in your message in a nasty way, and I cannot say how much I appreciate that after the bullshit brought to this blog and that I've been dealing with privately to help some of those affected feel like the RPC is a place they're safe and welcome in again.

I am definitely tired! Everyone else involved is as well. At least, on what I have to term as "this side" of the equation. I cannot speak to the other side, obviously, but I think they got tired enough of it not being tolerated to be quiet at least. When you make it unfun for people like that, that's usually what happens, after all.

So, I don't think it's them trying to continue the drama. Most of the people I know have remained in their corners happily or been obliged to leave for a while. As for the other people with suspicions...like I said, there are a lot more factors going on here than wanting to perpetuate drama. Sometimes, when we try to make ourselves feel safe, vindicated/vindicate a friend, there isn't any other option but to have the topic come up or breed into suspicions, correct or incorrect ones.

It's a situation that CoaR had a great deal of culpability in, and as such, had a lot of power to mitigate this well before it got to suspicions of who was modding the blog. That wasn't done, and won't be. Like Raven's antics, I have to feel like they've brought some of this on themselves. I do not and will not condone any hate messages sent their way, but again, right or wrong, people do have a right to feel the way they are.

If I were you, I'd stay as far away from it as possible. I don't go on CoaR unless I have to in order to answer something. I had a single blog blocked over here until this all went down (hilariously, it happened to be one that was involved, too, sometimes the red flags are legit, folks), now I have a sadly large number of them. It's now added to liberally, and I hate to do that, I like this blog to be open even to people who disagree with me. I can't deal with the constant drama, though, and I'm not going to be in a new callout every month until I die. Outside of being true to my word about accepting any and all vent messages, I don't want to see it, I don't want to be involved with it. I tag the posts so that followers can filter it, but I'm not going to function as a semi-callout blog by telling people who they should avoid. Just that they should avoid anyone who is making them feel this tired and done. Myself included.

I hope things have settled down in your corner of the RPC since you sent this! They have over here, thankfully. I think most people are staying away from the vent blog and hoping a new and better one comes along. It's back to the usual drama of "stop calling muns pedos for aging up characters."

#answered #anonymous #drama cw #misogyny cw #ageism cw #coar drama cw #I think that's all of them... #tumblr rpc

[miloqnzh925]

The Single Strategy To Use For Best Travel Vlog

Explore the world by means of You, Tube travel channels and vlogs Nathan Hutchinson/ Getty Images, The art of travel has actually changed beyond all acknowledgment in the past couple of years. What once cost a fortune and took weeks of preparation can now be recorded on a phone and by booking a flight on the way to the airport. Here's a selection of You, Tube's finest travel channels and vlogs that showcase the imagination the new medium opens to everybody. Travel stories have been shared orally from the earliest days of humankind. Yarns of excellent adventure might have been embellished with the occasional sea beast and one-eyed giant, however even these fanciful accounts had some basis in reality.

Travel books, premium photography and newspaper accounts quickly followed, before TELEVISION took over and brought unbelievable sights into living spaces around the globe. Individuals who never believed they would experience the magic of travel for themselves were now provided the urge to check out, and so a boom in the tourism industry followed. Today, thanks to the proliferation of online travel, you can see the world with the basic click of a button. It's not constantly easy to watch other individuals live out dream lifestyles while we can just look on enviously, preparing our yearly holidays from home. Sorelle Amore has benefited more than the majority of, but her graciousness and warm approach to audiences make her journey all the more satisfying to watch.

Having actually explored the nation thoroughly, Varhun is now handling the surrounding area and is eager to get other Indians to do the exact same. We actually like the way price is at the top of the list of considerations when it concerns this vlog a rare but welcome factor to consider. Likeable Geroge Benson has carefully chosen to separate his enthusiasm for travel from his love of football. The travel channel follows George as he checks out various locations in his unique style, whereas the vlogger's other channel concentrates on his cherished Chelsea FC. You'll be pleased to know George's horrible life choices appear to be limited to his sporting preferences.

Music Vlog Can Be Fun For Anyone

Mark Wiens has cultivated a big following online, and it's simple to see why. His love of food and determination to hurl himself into every obstacle is transmittable. While perhaps not for travel perfectionists, Migrationology is still among the most useful channels to follow on the platform. As soon as of this parish, Eva zu Beck is now among the most popular characters on the travel circuit. Her videos frequently feature the places we hardly ever see covered by mainstream media, making her informative look at the world particularly welcome. Eva's rise to fame began with a number of early videos going viral in Pakistan, and she hasn't recalled given that.

The only problem these vloggers deal with is that they are susceptible to becoming victims of their own success. Every action far from the "budget plan" principle appears to be a huge error, thrusting them back into the clutches of sponsors and brands eager to capitalise on their unique abilities. This is one group that we wish to see less of as their format works best in periodical dosages - travel documentary. Marine biology graduate Mike Corey prides himself on taking on the more extreme side of travel through his online experiences. Not all of his options deserve recommending, as some verge on unethical.

The slick production worths on his videos are incredibly planned, making Mike an easy watch. Boasting over 1 billion video views and 5 million fans on social media, Drew Binksy has been championed by several brands in the relatively brief time he has actually been an expert travel blog writer (travel vlog). His supreme aim is to go to every country on the planet something he was so close to doing prior to the coronavirus outbreak. We make certain his adventures will continue again quickly, and in the meantime, he can keep refining his golf swing, a sport he frequently takes part in when travelling. Part of the larger byfood.

Getting My Travel Vlog To Work

The primary focus is the country's cooking delights, but host Shizuka Anderson plainly has a flair for travel blogging, too. Explaining herself as a Tokyoite, the presenter ends up discovering locations that would illuminate any Instagram feed. music videos. It's one to inspect out if you're in requirement of enhancing your social networks game. Chas Bruns totally embraces the thrifty lifestyle he espouses in this vlog everything about the virtues of penny-pinching. Chas hunts out the least expensive experiences and holidays he can, sharing his tips with viewers. This series may not be the most refined one on this list, but it's arguably the most helpful.

This daring travel specialist might at first resemble the stereotyped travel dude all of us want to avoid on vacation, but he's actually developed an eager eye for the unexpected. Louis is a fantastic host who is at his best when taking off on his own with just a small video camera for company. Travel couples are probably the most annoying people throughout social media. There's a delicate balancing act between being excessively smug and fortunate and really interesting and informative, but Kara and Nate almost get it right. Their objective of visiting 100 countries by 2020 has actually now been achieved, so we do question if the pair will be slowing down, specifically provided how challenging it is to take a trip at the moment.

Each location they check out gets the documentary-style treatment, and their videos are all the better for it. If you're interested in what it's like to live in a nation, then Gareth Leonard's http://www.bbc.co.uk/search?q=vlog much deeper approach to travel is for you. The flashy, short-form videos that other vloggers goal for actually aren't worth your time if you want to explore a new place with somebody keen on expanding cultural horizons. Gareth takes his time with each piece of material and delivers a series that will make you want to discover more before you travel. Another excellent vlog with a strong focus on food is Miss Mina, hosted by the eponymous Mina Oh.

The Vlog Diaries

Both are fascinating in their own method, although food videos are definitely the strong point throughout. This sincere travel vlog is packed full of useful pointers and practical details. Making viral material does not appear to be at the forefront of Mark Wolters' thinking, as he and his family check out the world. All of it started from one travel let-down and has now blossomed into an incredibly valuable resource. Do not resent the rather troubling name of the vlog Aly (who is a psychology graduate from England) is in fact a great host and guide. Aly is so great that she's self-published a book to assist others seeking to travel to a few of the lots of locations she has actually visited.

One male making a genuine modification is Phil of Philwaukee fame, who has partnered with the Matador Network for this series. It's fun, loaded with favorable vibes and something we truly wish to see more of. Delving into a classic Volkswagen (VW) van and driving off into the sundown is the things teenage dreams are made from. It's also the truth that this vlog follows, as 2 intrepid visitors intend to go off the grid and find their own adventures around the globe. VW vans obviously have various labels depending upon where you are for Brits, they are understood as camper vans, while Americans call them buses. best travel vlog.

Originally from Australia and now settling into the Los Angeles lifestyle by method of a substantial stay in Shanghai, Jenny Zhou's profession is simply as remarkable as her travel content. There are some great on-location videos on her channel, however as Jenny tries to make it in the acting world, we question how lots of more travel videos we'll get. There's still plenty to check out in the vlogger's back brochure though, and her Shanghai films, in specific, make for fun watching.

Excitement About Best Travel Vlog

Vlogging has actually ended up being a super popular way for nomads to package up their experiences and share them with the world. On the audience side, they condense an entire mess of details down into a tight little package, in addition to providing a genuine and tangible sense of what a location might be like, assisting you judge whether it's worth a go to or not. But not all vloggers are produced equivalent. To help you arrange the wheat from the chaff, we have actually gathered a list of the 16 finest and most prominent travel vloggers that you need to be following in 2021, particularly if this is the year that you're going to explore the land down under!Max & Lee are an Australian/ Canadian couple and along with their charming Australian Shepherd pet dog Occy, they have excellent enjoyable tape-recording their vlog travel adventures for their substantial 1.

If you're a fan of Van Life, then this video blog is for you. You can get some amazing pointers to help you get your own adventure on the road. It might seem a little arrogant to call yourself The Professional Vagabond, but this is a title that Matthew Karsten has well and really earned - travel documentary. He's been on the road for over eight years, and is showing no sign of slowing down, despite the fact that he's now a daddy. He's acquired over 50,000 subscribers on You, Tube, over 150,000 followers on Instagram, and runs an effective and popular blog site.

You'll observe an unique lack of Australia on that list, however he can't be too far off right Matt?A You, Tube veteran of 13 years and counting, over the last few years Overlander TV has taken its vlog to the next level, with an expert electronic camera team catching spectacular, cinema-level video footage. A number of years ago Overlander created an 87 minute feature-length movie called Australian Motorbike Experience, which followed Mark Shea on an impressive two-wheeled tour along Australia's West Coast. With over 23 million channel views and screenings of Shea's film worldwide, Overlander is revealing a simple You, Tube channel can become so much more!Careening towards one million subscribers, Marko and Alex Ayling are acclaimed travel videographers that let their pictures do (most of) the talking.

Facts About Music Vlog Revealed

They've covered most of the world, consisting of Australia, so if you're searching for a bit of Oz travel inspo especially the spots that make for the very best shots head to their channel and sign up with the movement!Looking for inspiration that is a little more unique and adrenaline fuelled? Brave & Far is run by Mike Corey, who enjoys experiencing (and recording) action-packed hijinks around the world. Don't expect any run of the mill scenery shots here; Corey is only thinking about activities that disgust, entertain and/or excite, as his 300K+ You, Tube followers will attest. Kirsten and Siya are a funny, lovely, adventure-loving couple now with a baby in tow that appear to draw in followers for their characters as much as the destinations they showcase.

The set have generated almost 300,000 subscribers, and travelled to Australia in 2017, producing videos along the method (vlog). With over 700,000 You, Tube subscribers, British backpacker Ben Brown has made a profession out of feeding his travel addiction by developing an army of eager followers. Ben has travelled all over from the Arctic to Australia and Africa, shooting in an individual, POV style so that you seem like you're right there in amongst the action and when it comes to his most popular upload, in a vehicle crash!Hey, Nadine! This travel blogger is a water fountain of understanding when it pertains to travel ideas, techniques and hacks, offering up a genuine encyclopaedia of valuable content.

[luminouswhump]

A deal with the devil: part two

Tag list (You are free to ask be to added or deleted at any moment, no judgement at all for either!)

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @just-another-whumper @justabitofwhump

CW FOR PANIC ATTACK, BRIEF MENTION OF NON SEXUAL NON CON TOUCHING AND PTSD FLASHBACK

The great Phoenix, winged protector of the city, leader of Starpatrol, son of the legendary heroic duo who founded The Guard, was shaking in fear and anger at the feet of one of the richest men on the planet, about to sign a contract with the devil. How the mighty fall, indeed.

“Wonderful! I was hoping you’d agree to be a part of my growing body of invaluable work on superpowers.”

Dr. Es’ voice was cheerful, as if he convinced Phoenix to take a quick five minute survey and hadn’t just threatened to burn his team alive. Why was it always those with evil intentions who turned out to be ridiculously rich? Phoenix knew that no building or place was off limits with the funds this man possesed. Then again, it did take a certain type of person to amass billions, and those types of people tended to not care if a few, or many, other people got hurt or treated unethically in the process of their road to riches.

“Now, let’s get you out of that net and into some handcuffs shall we?”

The man stood up and took a cellphone out of his pocket, dialed a number and ordered whoever was on the other side to “drive the truck to the current location”. Phoenix focused on grounding himself, trying to steady his breathing. He knew the man needed him alive, he would make it out of whatever insane experiment was waiting for him alive, that much was sure. He just needed to get through this, he was strong, he could do this. Deep breaths, in, hold, out, in, hold, out. A plain black van, how cliche, turned the corner and began backing into the alley. The back doors swung open and three men stepped out, one was holding a pair of sturdy looking cuffs. So this was really happening. Dr. Es pressed the screen of his phone and a section of the net emitted a soft light.

“There’s the opening boys, our guest shouldn’t be too much trouble but you’d be wise to remember who we’re dealing with nonetheless.”

He stepped aside and the three men got to work. One of them untangled the net, the second one ensured that Phoenix’ hands left the net first and closed the cuffs around his wrists. They expanded upon pressing a button, covering half of his forearm as well as his wrists. “Just a precaution, I’m sure you understand.” Phoenix nodded, unsure what else to do. The net was pulled away from him and he was lifted to his feet. He tried his wings and found he was still unable to use them properly. The men signaled for him to get into the van and he obeyed, stepping into the back and sitting down in the appointed seat. Dr. Es got in after him and as the men busied themselves with cleaning up the alley and attaching the handcuffs to a chain which was bolted to the seat, Phoenix scanned the van. “Comlink please” Said the man after he’d finished securing Phoenix. The hero replied by lifting his hands the few centimeters of wiggle room he was allowed and looked at the man in annoyance. “Ah, yes of course, how silly of me.” The man picked up a flashlight and roughly grabbed the hero’s chin, turning his head to one side to search his ear for an earpiece. Phoenix was sure the man purposely shone the bright lamp directly into his eyes when he turned his head to look at the other ear. Phoenix grunted in annoyance, a blind spot now dancing across his vision.

He janked his head free from the grip in agitation. “I don’t have comlinks in, you can stop looking for them, besides it’s not like I can use them while I’m like this.” He might be afraid of Dr.Es but he sure wasn’t afraid of a bunch of evil interns. He wasn’t lying, Phoenix rarely bothered with wearing an earpiece on solo missions, much to the annoyance to his teammates. If only he’d listened to them this night… The intern checked both ears again, though Phoenix suspected it was mainly done to spite him and when the man stepped back he glared at him. Phoenix wanted nothing more than to wipe the hint of a grin off of the man’s face. He snarled and lunged forward as far as the chain and tight seatbelt would let him and a wave of satisfaction washed over him when the man took a quick step backwards. Phoenix chuckled and leaned back again.

“Now now Phoenix, no need to bully my assistants, let’s all be civil here.”

Phoenix huffed in reply, as if anything this man did could be described as civil. Dr.Es sounded uninterested, he was looking at the other two men spraying the alley down with what Phoenix guessed was something to ensure no traces of him would be detected. "If he’s hiding communication devices somewhere on his body, those will all be detected and fried by our scanners anyways.“ Thehecomment was a matter of fact, of course it was. Dr.Es stood up to let the men take their seats after the door of the van was closed. He took a seat next to Phoenix, who instantly felt less comfortable, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.” So, what’s your plan this time huh, trying to figure out how to disable my wings remotely?“ Part of Phoenix didn’t actually want to know, he knew that the perverted version of a consent form he’d have to sign would explain to him in great detail what torture lay ahead of him anyways.

“Don’t be silly, the data from our last trail already lead to that discovery, hence your inability to use your wings at the current moment, my boy.”

Shock was visible on Phoenix’ face, if this man had figured out how to suppress his abilities, if that information got out, he’d be dead in a week. “Don’t worry, I’ve decided to keep that data to myself, I do not deem it ethical to publish such sensitive information. I am aware of the more unsavory types who would mean you harm should they stumble upon my publications.” Phoenix turned away from the man, looking at the intricate cuffs instead. He added this issue to the list of secrets he hadn’t been able to share with his team yet, but was going to have to talk about at one point. Goddamnit. The van had started moving, there were no windows he could look out of, no way to orient himself.

“We established what you could do with your wings last time, your materialisation speeds, the levels of density you are able to create, etcetera. This time we’re going to look into the location of materialisation, I am, amongst others, interested in finding out if they actually connect to your skin or not and if there are specialised cells present there which aren’t found in regular humans.”

Phoenix felt himself go pale. The skin around his wings was incredibly sensitive, hence why he not only wore a suit of kevlar interwoven fabric, he had an additional plate across his back with reinforced material to protect his wing area. The mere idea of anyone poking around there was enough to send a shiver down his back. He squirmed in his seat, his body instinctively wanted to get away from Dr.Es. He heard the man who had secured him a minute ago, he’d later find out he was called Matthew, chuckle softly at his visible fear. He could practically hear the man taunting him: ‘who’s scared now’. He turned to glare at him but knew that anger would be mixed with fear in his eyes.

He couldn’t turn back, he thought about his team. He would willingly undergo torture, any torture, to protect his team, his family. He could see their faces and hear their voices in his head, as long as he remembered them he could get through this. Even when they weren’t physically with him, knowing they’d be there for him if- no, when, he made it out of here, gave him strength. He was almost excited about the lecture that Jem would be giving him upon his return. Phoenix supposed that lecturing teammates about reckless behavior was simply part of the healer’s job description.

The rest of ride went by without conversation, both verbal and non-verbal, Phoenix busied himself with studying the cuffs and his shoes instead. By the time the van stopped moving his heartrate had returned to normal, picking up again when the doors were opened and he was flanked by Matthew and an as of yet unidentified second evil intern.

He knew escaping now wouldn’t be possible and so allowed himself to be lead into the building that Dr.Es called his research facility. Dr.Es wasn’t his real name of course, but the first time that Phoenix encountered the man he’s been 13 and a sidekick to his parents. They’d allowed him to name the man and the little bird had decided that Doctor Evil Scientist was the most fitting title.

The next hour went by in a blur, Phoenix wasn’t actively trying to zone out, it just kept happening. Not like anything he saw here was going to help him anyways, he knew the man was drowning in money and there was no way he’d be getting out of here without him deeming the experiment finished. He’d live and be set free, but not until the data required had been collected. He vaguely remembered signing a consent form that informed him that they’d be removing some organic tissue from his back, as well as doing a few other relatively harmless tests. Relatively harmless if you didn’t have extremely sensitive skin on your back, that was. Phoenix was escorted to a cell, the evil interns called it a guest room, but most guest rooms didn’t lock on the outside. The cuffs were removed and the interns quickly got out of the run, as if they feared that Phoenix’ powers returning would suddenly make him forget that he was in one of the most inescapable buildings out there. A set of nondescript white clothes were pushed through an opening in the door, along with the order to change, and a promise that his suit would be delivered to the Star Patrol headquarters. The mere idea of his team getting a package with just his suit made Phoenix feel sick.

He did as he was ordered, laying down on the bed, his kind was racing. He was scared. He wasn’t supposed to be scared but God he was. He rolled over to his side, his back facing the wall and curled up into himself. He was terrified of this man, he felt just like the little 13 year old sidekick who’d been captured all those years ago. When he’d finally been released and his parents and the rest of The Guard did everything in their power to hunt down Dr.Es, Phoenix genuinely thought he’d never have to see the man again. How could he have been so stupid? Here he was, locked in a semi-comfortable cell, hours away from being tortured by a man whose face he still saw every other day, moments before waking up in a cold sweat. His breathing sped up. Whose voice plagued his nightmares. He felt trapped, like the walls were closing in on him. “Oh don’t cry little one, just think of all the great scientific breakthroughs were shaping together. Now hold still.” His heartbeat was loud, everything was loud and too much. Hands grabbing him, voices telling him to open his wings, close open, now make them more dense, harder boy! Phoenix couldn’t breathe, they were in the cell, how did they get here?? Faster, faster, come on boy I know you can do it. The touching wouldn’t stop, the hands wouldn’t leave him, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t run. Stop. Stop touching me. Stop it! A knife impaled in his wings, not fast enough, a scream tore through the room, was that him? The voice again, methodological and cruel and too loud. More hands, more restraints, more tests more pain. No, no that was wrong, he was in a cell, the hands were in the past, this wasn’t right. He wasn’t being tested on, he was alone in the bed, in the cell. Just breathe, b r e a t h e goddammit! This isn’t real, you’re not there, you’re not that scared 13 year old. If Phoenix hadn’t been hyperventilating he’d have huffed at that, he wasn’t 13 anymore but he sure as hell was still that same scared boy deep down, he’d just gotten better at hiding it. Come on come on, slow down. Slow down. S l o w. D o w n.

Eventually he managed to return himself to regular breathing and heart rate. He’d been doing so well with just forgetting this whole thing had happened before, gotten so good at lying to himself and telling himself that it didn’t bother him anymore. After all, it had been over 10 years since the first experiment, why should it still be affecting him? He was a superhero for fucks sake, superheroes are supposed to be strong, not plagued by nightmares featuring new interpretations and retellings of events that happened over a decade ago. If his team could see him now…

#i took an unplanned 3 month break from writing this #no rewriting we die like men #Phoenix #Dr.Es #The Guard #Jem #i love Jem get ready for them in Parent(tm) mode when Phoenix gets out of there #whump #oc whump #superhero whump #supernatural whumpee #hero whump #whump writing #tw panic attack #panic attack tw #flashback tw #ptsd tw #scared whumpee #this went there #i didn't expect to go there but it just happened and i went with it lmao #idk what to tag this at #yeehaw #My writing #mine #star patrol #a deal with the devil #fuck it here we go into the world with this mess 😎✌🏻 #team leader whump

[kingspoetrysoc]

Interview with Konstantinos Pappis

Konstantinos Pappis is a poet and King’s alumnus who studied Strategic Entrepreneurship and Innovation for his Master’s. He shares his blackout poems on Tumblr @blackout-diary​ and on Instagram @blackout_diary, and is the Music Editor at Our Culture. The King’s Poet’s Karen Ng talks to Konstantinos about his poetic experiences, process, and inspirations.

What is your earliest memory of poetry?

Like many people, my earliest memories of poetry are associated with school, where I felt pretty alienated by the way we approached poetry. It felt cold and analytical and I struggled to connect with it on a personal level – or perhaps there was less of a need to at that age. Although there were some Greek poets we studied in school whose work I remember liking, including C.P. Cavafy, Kostas Karyotakis, and Odysseas Elitis, it wasn't until later during my adolescence when I started discovering poetry outside of an academic context that I was able to appreciate it more. Things really started to change when I was introduced to English and American poets; for some reason, something about it not being in my native language made it easier to engage with and relate to. And then eventually I was able to approach different kinds of poetry from both an intellectual and an emotional standpoint.

How did you first realise you wanted to write poetry? What do you enjoy the most about writing?

In a word, Tumblr (RIP). But honestly, finding a community of people who used poetry as a form of expression more than anything else inspired me to do the same. I realised it wasn’t this inaccessible, overly sophisticated thing that you had to be especially clever or well-read to really get. Again, if you weren’t doing it to get a good grade, it was considered a bit weird to engage with poetry in any way, so seeing it outside of that context was pretty eye-opening.

It was also something that came with realising I had a passion for the arts in general. Music had always been my primary outlet, but poetry took over when I felt I needed the words to have more space on their own – to jump out on the page and release all the teenage angst I was going through, because listening to Creep every day somehow wasn’t enough. None of that poetry was any good, of course, but it was vital. And when I felt like this really personal thing was something I could share and exchange with friends, writing also became an important part of embracing vulnerability and forming close connections, too. I came to enjoy it more as a medium than an art form, in a way – at first, at least. 

In terms of what I enjoy about it now… Well, it’s hard to articulate, but if we’re talking about writing poetry specifically, I guess the appeal hasn’t changed all that much. It’s been a while since I’ve felt inspired to write a poem, but in the past it’s always been when I felt like I need to channel something that I couldn’t through any other form. Some might view the poetic form as being kind of limiting, but I feel like it’s quite the opposite – it’s almost freeing in the endless possibilities that it presents.

Above: a blackout poem by Konstantinos. The source text is “Moon” by��@makingthingswrite on Instagram.

You’ve written a lot of amazing blackout poems! What about this form  appeals the most to you?

Blackout poetry appeals to me for almost entirely different reasons. I treat it more like a mental exercise that can be both calming and stimulating; something that operates on a more subconscious level. I like that I don’t have to be particularly inspired to do it, not even by the text that I’m using. I like that it doesn’t necessarily have to make sense, that I don’t have to stress over the final result too much. I like that it can then inspire me to make something else. I like the visual aspect of it, the act of repurposing something and giving it new meaning not just by altering the text but also its surroundings. Of course, people can make blackout poetry in a much more intentional way, but what sets it apart for me is that it’s a creative outlet that can be simple and almost passive yet gratifying at the same time.

How do you select a text for your blackout poems – where do you look? What do you look for?

It really varies: sometimes I’ll take photos from a book – I used to do blackout on old books nobody would ever open, but I switched to doing everything digitally –  and sometimes I’ll search for poems or articles randomly online. Reviews often work quite well. There does have to be something about the text that sticks out to me for me to use it as a source, but I tend not to overthink it.

I love that – inspiration is everywhere in our daily lives, even when we aren’t looking for it! Can you tell us a little about your writing process? Is it more emotion-led or methodical?

For blackout it’s entirely intuitive. For poetry in general I would say it’s almost always emotion-led, but the editing part can be more methodical. Normally, a lot of it happens late at night when I can’t sleep, and if I can’t sleep long enough for me to write things down and it doesn’t strike me as absolutely terrible in the morning, then it might turn into a poem.

Above: a blackout poem by Konstantinos. The source text is Sam Sodomsky’s review of duendita’s song “Open Eyes”. Your poem pebble (an ode) was one of the first poems to be published in our magazine. It isn’t a blackout poem, but could you tell us a little about it too – do you remember what it was like writing it?

See above re: late-night thoughts and the utter absurdity of the human condition! 

How has your experience of sharing your poetry to Instagram been? Are there any tips you could share with our readers? 

I haven’t done it in a year, partly due to a lack of inspiration and partly because I’ve tried to distance myself from Instagram and other social media platforms as much as I can – though maybe I’ll go back to Tumblr? But my experiences with the Instagram writing community have been nothing but great – I participated in Escapril back in April of last year, a yearly event founded by Savannah Brown, that encourages users to write and share a poem a day based on a prompt. It was a really great and fun challenge that helped me write and read more and connect with other poets. I would say participating in these kinds of communities is probably the best way to utilise the platform.

Thank you for that advice! On a similar note, which poets and poems inspire you the most? These could include childhood inspirations… Have your influences changed over the years? 

I would not be the person I am nor would I have any interest in poetry if it weren’t for Sylvia Plath. I can’t even pinpoint exactly when I first encountered her work, but I identified with it to an almost unhealthy degree as a teenager, as I’m sure many people have. I still get that feeling whenever I revisit her poetry or read more about her life and art. Also, a lot of spoken word videos from people like Sarah Kay really resonated with me at a young age. 

More recently, the closest I’ve gotten to that feeling of being deeply excited and inspired by poetry was when I discovered Savannah Brown’s work a couple of years ago. Her spoken word videos and poetry films really moved me, and her second poetry collection – which came out last year – is absolutely incredible (I wrote about it here). Lately I’ve also been listening to a lot of musicians whose work intersects with poetry, including Cassandra Jenkins and Anika Pyle, whose most recent albums reckon with grief and loss in a really powerful way.

Above: a blackout poem by Konstantinos. The source text is Christopher Gilbert’s poem “Fire Gotten Brighter”. Are there any styles besides blackout which you particularly love, or themes? Are there any topics you gravitate towards? 

I’ve always gravitated towards confessional poetry, both in terms of what I tend to write and what I like to read. Something most of the writers I’ve mentioned have in common is that they use intimate language to evoke a deep yearning for connection, in the face of existential dread and the unfathomable vastness of the cosmos. That usually does the trick!

Have any experiences at King’s Poetry Society or King’s in general – events, classes, readings, people you’ve met, or London itself – been particularly memorable, or inspired you? Can you tell us a little about them?

Absolutely. Just being in London, not even necessarily the experiences I had there, made me want to write more poetry than I had in a long time. There’s a Savannah Brown video essay on YouTube where she talks about passing a billion people on the street – obviously in the before times – and being like, “Who are all of you people? Could I care for you? How many of you idiots could I love?” That’s basically the gist of what had been stirring in me for a long time and that I still think about to this day. And then being a part of King’s Poetry Society was an opportunity for me to try and channel that, and engage in an actual physical writing community in a way I never had before. I literally read a poem inspired by that video during one of our poetry reading events – that will certainly stay with me.

Above: Konstantinos’ poem “doors on the underground”. He read this poem at one of the 2019-20 King’s Poetry Society critique sessions.

How important do you think writing communities are, in fostering “better” writing? In your experience, is writing helped by discussion? 

I think they’re incredibly important, not just in fostering “better” writing but also fostering a space for vulnerability. Poetry can be an intensely private form of writing, but so much can be gained from discussing it, especially if one is looking to not only hone their craft but also learn from and connect with others. Us writers can be especially introverted people (hi!), and may be discouraged by the long stretches of silence that can pervade a poetry meeting, but there’s power in hearing the words you or someone else has written out loud. Even a single comment can completely change a way you think about a poem.

What do you think the value of reading poetry is? Can a poem profoundly change someone’s life? Conversely, can someone read a poem and be unaffected – and if this happens, has a poet “failed”? 

I think Marianne Moore sums it up pretty well in her poem Poetry, where she talks about finding in it “a place for the genuine.” As for the second question, poetry can definitely change someone’s life – not to be corny or anything, but like all art, it can also save someone’s life.

That said, I don’t think a poet has failed if the reader feels emotionally unaffected by their work. Sometimes, a writer may wish to portray an event or theme in a cold and unaffecting manner to get a certain point across. There’s value in that type of poetry, too, and art’s inherent subjectivity means that someone might be moved by a poem that someone else feels indifferent towards. There’s also value in poetry that is private and not meant to be shared, because even if only one person derives something from it, then it is valuable. I do think, however, that the further one strays from that ideal of earnestness, the closer the work hinges on being trivial or pretentious. We’ve moved past the need to be overly cynical or ironic.

I agree, poetry that is never shared is not lesser by any means – I find great personal value in treating a poem like a diary of sorts. Maybe each stanza mimics a different entry... With all that you feel manifesting into this thing that is at once completely attached to your experience but also – if shared – something that becomes detached and open to reinterpretation... That is really powerful. How do you think people who have never written before could be encouraged to start writing for themselves, whether for fun or as catharsis – without the pressures of becoming someone recognised or followed?

I really like that approach! I think the diaristic style of writing is often looked down upon as less legitimate, even though it isn’t. To answer your question, I think normalising the act of writing poetry purely for enjoyment or as a form of catharsis is really important, especially from a young age. Part of that could be achieved by exposing young people to more than what one might call the poetic canon. Being disappointed that a student isn’t engaging with poetry when they’ve only been introduced to Shakespeare is like assuming someone isn’t musically inclined when they’ve only been exposed to a single genre of music. Another way would be to incorporate more writing activities that utilise the poetic form, and allow the freedom to explore it outside the confines of academic study. I’m not saying all teachers should follow the example of Dead Poets Society, but there are so many ways to foster creativity and make poetry more approachable.

Do you think poetry is sometimes perceived as an inaccessible art? 

100%. I think that’s the biggest problem with how poetry is perceived. A lot of it comes down to the way poetry has been taught and disseminated for centuries – through a lens that is inherently exclusionary, upheld by systems that are classist, racist, sexist, etc. Hopefully that is starting to change – studies have shown that more and more young people read and write poetry, largely thanks to the rise of social media poetry. Poetry can represent such a wide range of experiences, but for people to view it as an accessible art form, more barriers need to be broken. Amanda Gorman becoming the youngest inaugural poet in American history, and the first Black poet ever to perform at the Super Bowl this year alone is certainly a huge sign of progress. 

Do you have a favourite literary journal, or a poetry platform you would like to recommend? What have you been reading lately? 

Subscribing to the Poetry Foundation and the Academy of American Poets’ poem-a-day newsletters has been a great way of keeping poetry in my everyday life. Recently, I’ve also been loving a podcast called Poetry Unbound, where each 10-15 minute episode immerses you into a single poem. On YouTube, I love Ours Poetica, a video series curated by poet Paige Lewis in collaboration with the Poetry Foundation that features readings of poems by writers, artists, and actors – including John Green reading Moore’s Poetry and Savannah Brown reading her poem the universe may stop expanding in five billion years. It offers a truly intimate and approachable way of experiencing poetry.

Above: Konstantinos’ poem “lonely little london”.

Is it important to you to read a wide variety of poetry, from different communities and on different subjects? Do you think it’s important for poets to write about things beyond their immediate world? 

That’s probably the biggest shift that has happened since I first got into poetry – realising how important it is to read widely. I was mostly drawn to poetry that reflected my own limited experience, but now more than ever I find it vital to immerse myself in different points of view, especially from underrepresented or marginalised groups. I now see poetry less as a means of personal expression than a form of empathy, and because of that I’m able to gain so much more from it. That said, I don’t think it’s necessary for poets to write about things that aren’t part of their immediate world. It depends on one’s goals and ambitions, but there’s already so much that’s unique about a person’s immediate world – things that are reflected in society at large – that being forced to write outside of it can often lead to work that feels hollow and insincere, or even insensitive. That doesn’t mean it has to be limiting – the beauty of poetry is that you can write about your immediate world but not necessarily through it.

Lastly… Do you think a poet is born a poet, or made into one? Which is more important: natural talent, or practice and growth? Can anyone become a poet? If everyone has it in them, do you think anyone who puts their mind to it can produce meaningful work – since, of course, all work is meaningful in one way or another, whether privately or publicly?

This is a slightly tricky question to answer, because either way it could imply that only some are afforded the privilege of becoming poets. If a small percentage of people are born poets, then of course that means everyone else is inherently excluded; if one is made into a poet, then only those who are able to cultivate any artistic inclinations will have the opportunity of fulfilling their potential. Most people will say the truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle, that it’s some complicated combination of the two. But I feel it’s much simpler than that – when you boil it down, really, everyone is born a poet.

#Konstantinos Pappis #interviewer: Karen Ng #Interviews #king's poetry society

[blu-joons]

Your Secret Relationship Becomes Public ~ Min Yoongi

The three knocks on your front door caused you to jump off the sofa, running to the front door. You couldn’t wait to open it, Yoongi smiling with open arms. “Hey, you,” he chuckled, catching you effortlessly as you leapt into his arms.

He carried you backwards, kicking your front door shut with his heel. “I missed you.” The two of you collapsed on the sofa, Yoongi keeping his arms around you. “How was the Japan tour?”

“Really good,” he replied, untangling himself so you could sit and face each other. “We had a blast.”

“I’m so pleased, it’s nice having you back though.” He nodded agreeing with you, leaning forwards to press a kiss to your cheek.

The two of you had been in a relationship for just over a year, happily, if you disregard that the two of you were together in secret. With Yoongi’s success, and your own, you knew the two of you wouldn’t be accepted as couple by your respective managements, so decided to keep everything a secret.

It wasn’t easy, most of your date nights were at your flat, if you were ever out in public you had your hoods up and sunglasses on, as well as being very careful with your social media activity.

“So, anything happening with you?” Yoongi asked, desperate to know how you were.

You bit your lip, “yes but I can’t say.”

You wanted to scream it from the rooftops, he was the one person you knew would be more excited than anyone else, he was forever supporting you in anything.

“Babe, tell me, I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” His wide smile was killing you, knowing you had news was exciting for him too. Any success you had he was thrilled for you.

“Promise?” He nodded, holding onto your hands tightly, begging you to hurry up and spill. “Alright, well you know the new Idol that Big Hit have signed?”

“Yeah…”

“I’ve been asked to collaborate with him on his debut single.” Yoongi chuckled, pulling you into his chest, pressing kisses all over your face. “I’m really excited.”

Yoongi’s smile was wide, he was proud of you for achieving such an opportunity. He had heard big things about him and knew that the two of you would be fantastic together.

“I’m going to be the first one to buy your single, go to all your concerts, I can’t wait to hear it. How far along are you in the process?”

“Honestly, we’ve got three weeks until the single gets released. We recorded it all whilst you were on tour, but I didn’t want to tell you on the phone, I wanted to tell you to face to face.”

He couldn’t stay angry, even if the song was nearly done and he hadn’t been told, pressing a loving kiss to your lips.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy with the boys not to dedicate more time to you recently,” he whispered, bothered by the fact you felt you had to wait forever to speak to him about things. “I’m sure the single will go great.”

“I hope so, we’ve worked really hard on it, and the lyrics mean something to us both, I think this could be career changing, for the better.”

“Well, I for one cannot wait for it all to kick off, I know you are going to smash it, and I am incredibly proud of you.” You leaned forwards, kissing him softly. “Even if I can’t show it publicly, I will be round here every night supporting you.”

“Thank you darling, you’re the best.”

Just a couple of weeks later, your single was released. Unsurprisingly, it shot straight to the top of the charts. The two of you were in interviews every other day, appearing on radio, television, or meet and greets with fans.

Of course, Yoongi was texting you constantly with encouraging messages, stopping by your flat with food most nights and lots of cuddles to help you get to sleep to cope with all your busy days.

Entering the flat after another day of promotion, you collapsed on the sofa, slipping your heels off, taking your hair out of the hairband, letting it flow down your back. You struggled to keep your eyes awake, completely drained of all your energy.

A knock on the door moments later disturbed you, the three knocks giving you a strong hint as to who it was. “It’s unlocked!” You shouted, not quite able to find the strength to stand up.

The door opened, Yoongi walking in, tossing a bag of takeout on the dining table. “Have you seen?” He asked.

No hello, no how was your day? Something wasn’t right.

“Haven’t seen what?”

“Look.” He handed you his phone, his Twitter feed open. You scrolled through a few comments, quickly noticing a common theme. People accusing you of being in a relationship together, photos taken from your tour around the country, suggesting that the two of you were together.

You sighed, standing up so you were face to face with Yoongi. “It’s obviously not true. You don’t actually think that this is true, do you?”

You were met with an unnerving silence. His eyes stared down to the floor. Did he believe it? Of course not. But what hurt the most was that people thought you were single and free to do whatever you wanted, unaware of how much all the rumours hurt Yoongi.

“I just don’t want people to think that you are.” You sighed, running your hands through your hair, running out of things to say. “You’ve got a boyfriend; in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I know that! I love you, you idiot. But of the billions of people in the world, we are the only two people who know that. They are obviously going to try and get photos to circulate rumours if they don’t know I’m in a relationship.”

Yoongi knew you had a point, at this point he wanted to shout your relationship from the rooftops, he was prepared to give up everything for you, he just wanted people to know that you were taken. 

“I don’t know what to say.”

“How about, I’m sorry I’ve been photographed with a handsome, talented singer, with millions of girls falling at his feet. You are the only one for me Yoongi, even though you aren’t able to be successful on your own.”

There it was. The strong scent of jealously. He flew off into a rage before you, he was jealous that he wasn’t the one being photographed with you. “Yoongi, you are the only one for me, you are more handsome, more talented, and way more successful, stop being jealous.” You tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away.

“You don’t understand, people don’t take photos of me because I’m not good enough.”

“Can we not make an argument out of this? Because that is not true, I can think of thousands of Army who would say otherwise. I’m sorry the photos have been published, and the rumours of going around, but in a day or two it will all be forgotten.”

“And then what? When you do your next collaboration, you’ll be accused of sleeping with them too.”

His temper was slowly getting the better of him, he wasn’t hiding his frustrations, he was hurt.

You were fed up, trying to walk away to get some food, but Yoongi yanked you back. There were only a few inches between you, as you brought your hand up to cup his cheek.

“If this whole situation bothers you so much, maybe we need to do something about it? I don’t want to cause any tension between us, I want to make you happy. Please, just don’t be angry with me, this isn’t my fault.”

“I know. It just hurts to see people thinking that you are in love with someone else.” His voice got quieter as he became shyer, this boy adored you, he was the most harmless human in the world.

You pondered for a few moments, you just wanted to make things right. “What do you think we could do?”

“I’ve got an idea.” He walked you over to the dining table, unpacking a few of the food boxes he’d brought over. “I think we just be honest. Tell everyone the truth. BTS is too big for them to do anything, they can’t fire me? And you can still make your music, no one can ever stop you doing that?”

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“I couldn’t be surer.” He took your hands in his, squeezing them reassuringly. “I want the world to know you are mine, and I am yours. I’m prepared to face all the consequences that came our way, are you?” You nodded. “Then I say we go for it, it’s been over a year, it’s not like we are just a fling anymore.”

You watched him pull his phone out, opening his camera. He leaned across, pressing a kiss to your cheek before taking the photograph.

“Are you sure about this?” You asked, wanting to make sure that he was serious. The last thing you wanted was to make him feel like he had to do this.

“I’m sure, I want people to know I love you, and I want them to create rumours about us, telling everyone how amazing we are together.”

He left the image without a caption, posting it to all his social medias. In the blink of an eye his phone blew up, awaiting the emails from your bosses.

“Whatever happens, we face it together. We are a team, forever, I love you,” he assured you, passionately pressing his lips to your own. “I won’t let this affect you, I will be by your side always.”

“You’re the best, I love you too.”

---

Masterlist

#bts #bangtan sonyeodan #bangtan #bts imagine #bts fluff #bts angst #kpop #kpop imagine #yoongi #min yoongi #min suga #suga #yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #suga imagine #suga fluff #suga angst

[yossariandawn]

2 and 33, for the replacement Top 3 ask XD

Thanks for the replacement asks! These required some real thought on my part, sorry it took so long! 💖

2: Top 3 villains/antagonists:

The Walking Dead: Shane Walsh - Shane seems to be a controversial character. which I get. He does a lot of awful things, but Jon Bernthal makes him so sympathetic and human that people seem to either love or hate him. I actually don’t consider him to be a villain, but he was such a perfect foil to Rick as they tried to navigate the new world they found themselves in that I do consider him an excellent antagonist, and one of my all time favorites at that. The show really sold for me that Shane and Rick really did love each other, and I do believe Shane loved Rick’s family like his own (which was part of the problem) But at the end of the day they  were on opposite sides of about every ethical choice they encountered, and with stakes as high as they were, only one could survive. The hilltop confrontation is one of my favorite scenes in The Walking Dead, and the end of one of my favorite character arcs.

Revolution: Tom Neville -  Formerly a seemingly timid insurance adjuster with a simmering rage at a world that pushed him around, the apocalypse turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to Tom. His ambition to hold power over others, his willingness and desire for violence, and his intelligence and charisma keep him one of the most dangerous enemies to have in a world chock full of very dangerous people.

Psych: Yang - Psych is a pretty lighthearted show about two best friends solving murders while getting up at all sorts of wacky hi-jinks, but it does go dark sometimes, and serial killer mastermind Yang is one of my all time favorite antagonists. She is a fascinating mirror version of Shawn. Trained to use her intellect to commit murders instead of solve them, she also delights in making others play by her own rules, just like Shawn. She is smart and unpredictable, which is very unsettling to watch when you don’t know exactly why she’s doing what’s she doing at any given moment. Shawn is genuinely terrified of her too, and I’ve always believed that his later interactions with her are a continuation of his attempts to manage that fear with lightness and frivolity.

33: Top 3 awesome moments in fiction:

Hunger Games: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins: Katniss chooses Coin over Snow - In the world of popular YA Fiction, I was a Hunger Games girl through and through. I love the messiness of revolution and the exploration of often misleading or outright false narratives around “heroes” and “villains” Puppet masters may come and go, but the games they play remain. Katniss spend the whole series with everything authentic, brave and good about her weaponized and repackaged as a political win for others to keep or gain power. When the war is over, and technically won, she is given an opportunity to take revenge for all she has lost. She makes the right call to take out the real threat instead of the more cathartic and symbolic one.

Nine Billion Names of God by Arthur C Clarke: The Last Line Short story (published in 1953, so keep in mind its a product of it’s time) with a simple premise: a group of Tibetan monks hires the newest supercomputer to help with their holy mission: to find the true name of God. The last line is on of my favorites, so short and efficient, and it made me gasp in awe the first time I read it. When I think of awesome last lines, this one always comes to mind first.

Catch 22 by Joseph Heller - The Sweden Solution This is my all time favorite book. It’s a wildly uncomfortable, stream of consciousness, exploration of the banality of evil, the breathtaking pettiness of war, and a man trapped in all that madness trying to find his way out. Yossarian spends the whole novel railing against the unfairness (and seemingly randomness) of those who make the rules while trying desperately to survive, until he is given the most odious choice: play the game the way they want and get everything he’s been fighting so long for, or refuse and lose it all anyway. In a surprisingly optimistic ending, he takes the third option: persevere against the impossible odds once again. We are left not knowing if his latest scheme succeeds, but that’s not important. What is important is his willingness to try again.

Final note from the siblings ask before: the complete first (and sadly only) season of the Black Donnelly’s is on youtube HERE if anyone wants to watch.

#asks #asked and answered #lists

[mindmusicspirit]

Sick, tired and broke...

While it took the coronavirus to get people to genuinely realise this : our healthcare system is trash when it truly doesn’t have to be.

That technically feels like the end of my Ted talk, but I’ll go into some slightly repetitive data about it, because what I ultimately discovered is that this healthcare system is costing the most financially and humanely for Millenials.

Let’s start out with 2019 when 137 million Americans faced financial hardship due to medical costs. Scary part is, regardless of age, high healthcare bills are the number one reason people would consider taking money out of their retirement accounts or filing for bankruptcy, while 66.5% of all personal bankruptcies are tied to medical issues. ( CNBC).

According to the NYTimes, Americans borrowed $88 billion in 2018 in order to pay for their healthcare. If we’re borrowing $88 billion to pay for healthcare, imagine the profit that these healthcare companies are enjoying!

Why is healthcare so expensive? The best answer I could find is due to a “free” market and lack of regulation by our government as well as a lack of transparency when it comes to medical billing. According to Public Health Policy Professor Marty Makary of John Hopkins, the healthcare marketplace is “irrational”-- though I prefer the term uncontrolled-- where price gouging has become the norm. Heart surgery at one hospital may cost $44,000 while the same surgery will cost $500K at another facility, and the kicker here is, despite the disparity in price, there is no marked difference between the quality of care in the different facilities (CNBC).

As for lack of transparency for medical billing, I can personally attest to that ( though clearly I’m not a unique case). Last year I was hospitalized at Tulane University Medical for Diabetic Ketoacidosis, brought on by food poisoning, and I received 3 seperate bills for that one stay. One bill was about $350, the second bill was for $2200 , and the third bill was for $14.99 with no thorough explanation about what I was being billed for ( no general explanation provided either). The bills were just medical coding with no legend of what the coding represented, leaving me angry and confused. How does one hospital stay, at one facility come with 3 seperate bills? Sad thing is, I had health insurance, and seeing as health insurance comes with deductibles and out of pocket limits, I figured those hospital bills hit that, at the very least. Apparently it did not for reasons not even the health insurance reps could explain to me. How do I spend $2500 out of pocket, when my limit is $1500, and you’re telling me that that $2500 doesn't count toward my out of pocket? A clear lack of transparency in not just medical billing, but health insurance as well.

The general high cost of medical care is another reason we’re just out here remaining sick and in debt: The average hospital stay in the US costs about $5220 per day, whereas in Australia where the nation's wealth is comparable to the US, it’s about $765 per day. It is not even hospital stays that are the initial causes/starting causes of medical debt either: 65% of medical debt started out with either diagnostic testing or a doctor’s visit followed by Lab fees, ER visits, drug prescription costs and outpatient services (SingleCare.com). Why would something/someone whose job it is to cure or heal you be what brings you into debt? Even more so, why does something as primary and preliminary such as diagnostic testing or seeing the doctor be the main cause of medical debt? We’re in debt before we can even know what’s ailing us? Drug prescriptions are no different either. About a month and a half ago I lost insulin vials and needed to get replacement vials from the pharmacy: I’ve never actually lost insulin before in my twenty years as a diabetic, so you think that my pristine record would count for something. It didn't. Health insurance was not going to cover it, and the cost of one vial was going to be $900. Keep in mind, one vial will last me about two weeks. Maybe three if I make sure to not eat. $900 is more than my half of rent to put that cost into perspective relative to my monthly bills, and it was only going to last me half the month. If prescription costs are that drastic, I can only imagine the average cost of the diagnostic or doctors visit that affect the 65% that fall into debt because of it.

In addition to costing us financially, high medical care and medical costs affect our quality of life and ability to accumulate wealth, especially Millennials. According to a 2016 study published by Health Affairs, Millennials carry the most medical debt in the US as well as incur it more frequently: the article focused more on the fact that the debt starts at the age of 27 once the medical care/insurance for young adults under their parents insurance ends at age 26. The age group that ended up accumulating the most debt was also age 27 ( PBS.org) The Millenial age group also accounts for 35% of the overall population, so that could be another reason why we hold the most medical debt as well ( Single Care).

Quality of life is also affected in that Americans are foregoing medical treatment or medical visits due to cost. In fact, 21% of Americans had to do that in 2016 alone. That is 21% of people not getting the necessary healing treatment they need, or living in the dark of what’s ailing them.

32% have postponed medical care due to cost. When I hear “postpone”, I assume that the only reason they end up getting medical care is because their ailment got worse or to a point where they couldn’t avoid not getting the medical care that they needed.

40% of adults ages 18-64 have relied on at home remedies or over the counter drugs instead of going to the doctor due to medical cost ( Singlecare.org)

I have fallen into all 3 categories: In fact, once , in order to avoid a hospital visit, I treated my own onset of ketoacidosis. For those of you not sure what that entails, it basically includes taking my insulin through my veins as opposed to subcutaneously ( injecting my arm or stomach) while avoiding any liquids or food, including water for at least 24 hours. The reason you have to do that is because your body’s acid level is falling to a dangerous level so it won’t react to insulin being delivered into your fat stores or beneath the skin: It has to be delivered directly to your bloodstream to have an effect. This acidity level will also cause your blood sugar to rise to dangerous levels, and potentially even lead to a heart attack if not treated in a timely manner.The low acidity level is also why the body won’t tolerate any food or liquid, as it tries to purge every possible foreigner from the body in order to normalize its pH level. Imagine not being able to drink water without violently vomiting it up. So there I was at home, a young twenty year old, injecting insulin into my veins, every hour for at least twenty four hours, until my body was on the mend again. I had to be my own doctor in order to avoid a $2k-$3k plus bill that I knew I couldn’t afford. Was it risky? Yes. But, I was forced to be concerned not only for my life but for my financial well being simultaneously. Sad fact of the matter is, I’m confident that I’m not the only type 1 diabetic with a story like that, and I’m not the first to have to weigh my life versus my finances.

In order to pay for medical costs:

53% work out payment plans with their provider. That’s probably the best option, although it ends up being one more bill to add to the list at the end of the month. I’m still paying off that $2500 hospital bill I previously mentioned.

37% have had to borrow money from family or friends

34% have increased their credit card debt

70% say they cut back spending on food, clothing, or other basic household items.

41% say they took an extra job or worked more hours.

59% say they used up most or all of their savings.

35% say they have been unable to pay for basic necessities like food, heat, or housing. (Singlecare.org)

The statistics at the bottom are exceptionally high and staggering. 70% have to cut back on basic household items/comforts in order to pay medical bills: Is it really a succesful or efficient healthcare system if you have to choose between food or medicine?

In addition to our quality of life/quality of health being impacted, I mentioned our ability to accumulate wealth, which for Millenials have proven more difficult than prior generations: According to Caroline Ratcliffe, a senior fellow at the Urban Institute who studies asset building and poverty, wealth is stagnating for younger generations compared to their parents and grandparents. For people under 40 years old: their wealth has only inched up compared to their parents in the 1980’s, and many factors affect that: Credit cards ( see prior posted article on credit card debt), Student loans ( future article) and of course medical debt:

When one in six Americans have past due medical bills on their credit report, it affects their ability to secure a good interest rate on a home or auto loan. ( PBS.org) We’re constantly told how real estate is one of the best ways to accumulate wealth, yet these unnecessary and predatory forms of debt make it harder for us to do so. A lot of these past due bills average about $600(CNBC), but when most of us have credit card bills, monthly living expenses, student loans, and living paycheck to paycheck, how easy is it to pay $600, realistically?

The additional injury to injury ( because we’re long past insults to injury), is the fact that medical care is slated to become even more expensive. It’s expected to hit $6 trillion by year 2027, and it’s already 2020!

When individuals, the federal and state government, and private business seem to share an equal balance of overall medical expenditures ( be it through medicare, the cost of employee covered insurance etc etc), why then would medical costs go up?

It goes back to the beginning of the article, where we pointed out how unchecked the healthcare industry is. Despite the fancy words and round about explanations we may get from lobbyists and those in healthcare, in addition to being gaslit by them that rising costs are unavoidable, it most certainly is avoidable.

Don't forget, compared to other countries that have comparable wealth to us, everything is more expensive here in the US, and there doesn’t seem to be a disparity in the actual quality of care. For example, the total health spending per capita is 84.8% more expensive in the US than in Canada.

In America, they perform 322 C-sections for every 1000 live births, which average a cost of $16,000. In the UK, it’s 264 C-sections per 1000 live births with an average cost of $6k.

An MRI averages about $1115 in America, yet averages to about $215 in Australia. (Singlecare.com).

These countries are comparable in wealth to us, so is affordable and universal health care really that far fetched or radical of an idea in America? Especially when it’s driving such a staggering amount of people into debt? The answer is NO. Based on the medical cost and quality in other countries, not only is it possible, but easy to make it affordable and universal. There are so many different models that are currently working that we can choose from to emulate even.

Health insurance, healthcare and pharmaceutical companies need to be governed or regulated here in the US. Otherwise, the health care system is just another player in the systemic debt traps that seem to be set for the poorer masses, and it’s a problem that’s only projected to get worse, especially for Millenials. It’s grossly affecting our overall quality of life and ability to generate wealth. These statistics show that while the sick get sicker and entrapped by debt, the healthcare industry and those at the top will benefit the most financially from our plight. This current system is neither logical, nor sustainable for the masses, the greater good, or for the economy.

What ever happened to the Hippocratic oath to do no harm?

References:

137 Million Americans are struggling with medical debt. Here’s what to know if you need some relief.

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/11/10/americans-are-drowning-in-medical-debt-what-to-know-if-you-need-help.html

2020 Medical Debt Statistics

https://www.singlecare.com/blog/medical-debt-statistics/

Millennials rack up the most Medical Debt and most frequently.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/millennials-rack-up-the-most-medical-debt-and-more-frequently

Americans borrowed $88 billion to pay for healthcare last year, survey finds

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/02/health/americans-health-care-debt-borrowing.html

Survey: 79

million Americans have problems with Medical Bills or debt.

https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/newsletter-article/survey-79-million-americans-have-problems-medical-bills-or-debt

#healthcare #stats #millenials #debt #lifestyle #finance

[ad360com]

Building 7 - Engineering consent

The official story is that a group of guys, after a few flight lessons, took over five commercial airliners with boxcutters, flew those planes in various directions. One of the planes flew at ground level into the very section of a building where investigators were looking at a 2.3 trillion dollar bookkeeping error (lucky for some). NORAD appeared to take no notice (even better), even though that system was designed to address a soviet missile strike and the Washington corridor is surrounded by air force bases (freaky lucky). Then a couple headed off to attack a couple of buildings with no military value, but intense cultural significance (killing yourself for artistic merit). These buildings in turn collapsed like pancakes (there that strangeness again) into their own footprint (neat) in less than a day (fast, 100 storey buildings)…causing 18 years of non stop war. All of this took place on the day that signifies “emergency” to people in the USA. The whole opera was supposedly directed by a man who was a known US intel asset, who later hid out in a cave (in the 21st century).  What I call fear porn seems to be the official narrative. You could probably pull a million threads out of that ball of string. I always thought a NY beat cop could have solved it in five minutes by questioning Junior, without even using "enhanced interrogation techniques." Remember when he couldn't take a piss without cheney being there.

This week was the anniversary of the twin towers bombing. The media was overflowing with admonitions to "never forget."Some of you may understand the hypnotic value of such a phrase, repeated over and over with the same sparce imagery. It's a message to keep bleating. It reminds one of the moon stuff (but let's not get distracted, shall we, people love to shout "conspiracy," "birther" or "truther"over and over).   I'd guide your attention with the attention to one trick...one of the premiere objectives is to use the pubic purse to fund all of these events, to then use public money to drive a pre-conceived agenda and in doing so to destroy Christianity and western civilization by it's own hand (this is a central conceit). It's a very pretty death blossom (if that's your perspective). To bleed a country dry. It's very simple stuff, Bush and Co. have been working for Satan, not America. Another point of attention is how "intelligence" agencies set up their own terrorists and events to control outcomes. This is common practice. Honey traps, blackmail, coercion, payoffs, cut outs, traitors, military coups, military subversion and assassination have all been used with this method. Here is a central conspiracy theory; building 7 (the story goes it fell into it's own footprint (again)), not from plane strike, but from a massive internal fire." The official theory established that the 47-story colossus collapsed on its base after the tragic attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, at 5:20 p.m., when it was affected by the fire coming from the Twin Towers—Buildings 1 and 2 of the World Trade Center. The building was completely destroyed in just seven seconds. (note: 7 seconds, complete destruction) However, after investing four years in computer simulations, the FAU scientists published a draft report that concludes that the collapse of the third WTC skyscraper on Sept.11, 2001 was not due to any fire, but “the almost simultaneous failure of every column in the building.” https://thebl.com/us-news/fire-did-not-destroy-world-trade-center-building-7-on-sept-11-scientific-study-reveals.html

At the same time as they are saying "never forget" the online personas are as adroitly as possible trying to forget all about building 7. Why? I had someone die, etc., don't bring up the "bad" memories. Don't hurt my feelings with your inconvenient facts. When 3000 engineers say something is a bit fishy... Some time ago, more than 3,000 active and retired architects and engineers called on the U.S. Congress to conduct a new investigation into the three WTC skyscrapers that were destroyed on Sept. 11. Under the name ‘Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth,’ they said there was “sufficient doubt about the official story to justify reopening the 9/11 investigation.” “The new investigation must include a full inquiry into the possible use of explosives that might have been the actual cause of the destruction of the World Trade Center Twin Towers and Building 7,” they said.https://thebl.com/us-news/fire-did-not-destroy-world-trade-center-building-7-on-sept-11-scientific-study-reveals.html

I know that no matter what I pull up, you'll say, not an "official source,"meaning one of the raggle taggle mob of official sources. The same rags that are being tossed into the air by Trumpie on a daily basis. On the one hand you're obsessed with following your command and control narrative and yet when Trumpie tells you they are pure bullshit fake news outlets, you mock Trumpie (an actual patriot), who was there on the day, is a native new yorker, property development billionaire and quite clued into how buildings are constructed, said, explosives did it, when interviewed at the time. https://www.disclose.tv/trump-was-one-of-the-first-who-said-only-explosives-could-have-brought-the-wtc-down-312592 "Donald Trump: It wasn’t architectural defect. The World Trade Center was always known as a very very strong building. Don’t forget that took a big bomb in the basement (1993). Now, the basement is the most vulnerable place because that’s your foundation and it withstood that and I got to see that area about three or four days after took place because one of my structural engineers actually took me for a tour because he did the building and I said “I can’t believe it”. The the building was standing solid and half of the columns were blown out. This was an unbelievably powerful building. If you don’t know anything about structure it was one of the first buildings that was built from the outside. The steel, the reason the World Trade Center had such narrow windows is that in between all the windows, you had the steel on the outside, the steel on the outside of the building." Which is it? Your loyalty is to another king, isn't it? you'd willingly concede any deception to stay asleep. You're so patriotic drapped in your false flag, yet you're unwilling to investigate? Riddle me ree. Another deflection is to honor the dead by continuing to follow the official narrative. An official narrative which has laid waste to Syria, Lybia, Iraq, Afghanistan, created a refugee crisis in most European countries, killed millions of people (brown skinned Muslims and their sovereignty don't matter according to your narrative), vilified one of the world's great religions of over 600 mln people, created a massive war industry bonus system and sent militarized american youth off on a multi billion dollar worldwide goose chase. On one hand, you're not supposed to hurt the feelings of grieving "family" members and on the other hand you're supposed to forget the "feelings" of the ordinary people in the middle east in countries that didn't bomb your building (in the official narrative the pilots were a Saudi based terror group).  You don't question anything? Ever?

  Muslims = bad. That seems a little simplistic...unless you're being pushed into this position intentionally, then you're just a dupe, everybody's fool. In all cases the admonition is to stick to the official line. In the first instance because you'll hurt "feelings." In the second to propagate a revenge narrative x1000. In both cases, they keep the script firmly on the "burning twins." The images are always the same, the same loop, the same sequence, the same fragment of time. What is always tried in these circumstances is to move the conversation into the "conspiracy theory" basket. The mocking, "truther" cat calls and the "you're either with us or against us" nonsense.  My argument is fairly straightforward, "a group of people did something."The reasons varied in terms of motive, but the overall purpose was satanic. Pure evil. The tool of lucifer is deception. There were proximate and strategic objectives and everyone had their own angle. The "intelligence" angle was one big winner in all of it, the "patriot" act (mirror), operation iraqi freedom (mirror) homeland security (mirror). All the other legislation to turn the US (and the world) into a police state. The jewish angle is another obvious win for one "side" over another.  That is not over quite yet, is - real-is will receive a knock on the door one of these days.

Who was head of the C_A? Geroge Tenet "Tenet appealed to the original mission of the agency, which had been to "prevent another Pearl Harbor" Who was Poppy (Heroin) Bush? Former head of C_A. Who was Cheney? Former boss of Halliburton (military contractor). Who was President? Baby bush. Who was head of security in twin towers? Marvin Bush.  When was FBI director appointed?  When did Larry take over the lease?  Connection of Rummy to Cheney? Wolfowitz? Perle? "Of the twenty-five people who signed PNAC's founding statement of principles, ten went on to serve in the administration of U.S. President George W. Bush, including Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz."https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_for_the_New_American_Century  One theory is that the towers were built with the satanic sacrifice in mind by the Rs in R plaza. This makes sense on a construction level (nothing is designed to be permanent, especially in a major city). The twin towers were old and their infrastructure was creaking. To take down the buildings in a conventional manner would have involved lots of public consultation, reports and working with the surrounding owners over a protracted period of time. The towers were every well built with an exceptionally strong steel outer-casing augmented by an inner pile (take a look at Japanese anti earth quake technologies for reference points). So the traditional path of demolition was going to be expensive. Why not demolish it anyway and blame ...a whatever? Collect the insurance? Rebuild with on the same site after banking a profit. The twins were taken down on a specific day. A day that ties to a calendar. It was a scripted event. It’s a show of power and a trigger (quite literally, a smoking gun). They even removed the evidence and threw it in a river (figuratively) by shipping all the steel off and melting it down.

You were pre-programmed for years by Hollywood and MSM for this event. If you’re looking for proof on that one, there are lot’s of sources (you don’t even need to dig really). All day long on that day they re-ran the same sequences (imprinting) and the same interviews from the same angles (remember a major city has many viewpoints). We only have four still images from the pentagon, one of the most secure buildings in the world. In fact that has been the pattern for these types of "happenings," low quality grainy images from only one view point and people being asked to “hand in” their footage for investigations that go nowhere, even now, with the quality of everyone's camera. We all know: https://twitter.com/rmthompson07/status/1172099449847463936 Three towers: https://twitter.com/DrutangAtHome/status/1171652481144766469 Same day: https://twitter.com/MemoryHold/status/1171897368964476929 NYFD: https://twitter.com/dontnwid/status/1172022723859615745 Dancing Israelis: https://twitter.com/MemoryHold/status/1171504832500264962 Gen. Wesley Clark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNt7s_Wed_4 This individual took a timely walk into a museum recently: https://twitter.com/VincentCrypt46 A few days ago Jeb Bush got some blowback on his “disgusting” tweet response: https://twitter.com/JebBush/status/1171955174065283072 Larry Silverstein: https://youtu.be/WXgpB-3xKKk  “Pull it” Pre-programming:  https://gfycat.com/ru/advancedalarmingarrowana-fight-club-movies

"As the New York Times ' David W. Dunlap points out, Virgil's "you" actually refers to the characters, Nisus and Euryalus, two warrior-lovers who "have just slaughtered the enemy in an orgy of violence, skewering soldiers whom ambushed in their sleep." And for this massacre, Nisus and Euryalus are killed, their heads impaled on spears. Of the inscription at the 9/11 Memorial Museum, Helen Morales, a classicist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, told the Times, "If we take into account its original context, the quotation is more applicable to the aggressors in the 9/11 tragedy than those honored by the memorial…So my first reaction is that the quotation is shockingly inappropriate for the U.S. victims of the 9/11 attack." https://jezebel.com/quote-on-the-9-11-memorial-is-shockingly-inappropriate-1560975808 Read the full article

#collapse #decisions #Ideas #steel #Structure

[aerithsage]

Why Writing Doesn’t Feel the Way It Used To...

A little background before I dive into this sad and deep issue...

I started writing back in 2012. I was fresh out of college and just finished taking the Nursing board exams. The results take a few months to come out and you can’t really work as a Nurse then because there’s no license yet.

So I did something I enjoyed so much: reading books.

One day, reading books got too boring and there was nothing interesting for me to binge-read. And then I had this super awesome dream and I was like: “I have to write this down.”

That dream became the plot of my first ever story: The Last Sorceress.

And I was happy I could just express myself.

I had maybe two or three readers and I was very happy. I just wanted to write. I just wanted to pass the time. I didn’t study journalism or anything so my first online story was filled with mistakes, typos, plot holes, and so much more.

To give you an example, here’s how I wrote dialogues way back:

“I don’t love you anymore.” She said.

Yup. And so much more errors apart from that. But thinking back on it, what I really wanted back then was to express the story inside my head. So I just typed away on my keyboard. I let the words flow so I can tell the story. Not a single care about all the errors. And to be honest, I really didn’t know better.

One story became two. Two became three and so on.

No one starts with thousands of readers right away. I had ten and I was happy.

My book, The King’s Slave (which now has over 18 Million reads on Wattpad) was finished with 35,000 reads. That was like a “whoa” moment and I never actually expected lots of readers.

When I started, I wrote only Fantasy Romance stories. 

For my first year anniversary on Wattpad, I challenged myself to write something different. So I wrote a billionaire contemporary romance: The Billion-Dollar Marriage Contract.

That started the snowball and I gained lots and lots more followers. It was also the first book of mine that got published. Back then, publishing seemed like a distant dream so when it happened, I couldn’t believe it.

At the same time, real life happened.

I had to work to earn money. Writing and publishing a book pays. But it’s not a constant income like a salary. On the release of your book, you’d probably get a lot of money but then it goes downhill from there. 

It’s probably because readers who actually liked to buy it already bought it during release. And then later on, pirated copies also surface so people just download it instead of buying it. (An entirely different issue which I could probably write another lengthy post about)

So with all this, writing doesn’t really give you a constant income like a fixed salary. And just like anyone out there, I also wanted a comfortable life for myself and also to be able to afford some luxuries.

Fast forward to the present...

I barely have time to write now because I have a full time job. Apart from that, I actually work at night because the company I work for is in the US and I’m in Manila. In the morning, I’m sleeping.

And when you work nights, you’re just tired all the time.

But I’m also at fault here. Yes, I do not work 24 hours in a day. Yes, I can sleep 8 hours and still there’s some time left. But why do I not write?

Is it because I have poor time management skills? Maybe. Probably.

But actually, it’s because writing doesn’t really feel the way it used to.

Back then, it brought me so much joy. Back then, I was much younger and didn’t know the harsher realities of life that I know and experience now. 

Back then, the community was also a lot better.

So this is what it really boils down to: I don’t write because I don’t find the enjoyment I did before. 

Sometimes, I set aside a few hours to write. I write and write and then I post it. And then the first comment I receive: Finally. That took you so long. Hope the next one doesn’t take years.

I know it took me a long time. But think of it this way: to be able to write and post that chapter, I didn’t spend time to play the game that brings me enjoyment. I cut my sleep for a few hours. I didn’t hang out with my friends.

Also, the comment is way negative and over time I’ve associated posting an update with sadness and disappointment.

Think of it this way: If you ring a bell and then give your dog a treat immediately after, he will think that every time he hears the bell, a treat is coming. So he gets all happy and waits for the treat. (Pavlov’s Dogs)

For me, posting an update and reading comments are the bell. But in a totally different way. Instead of making me happy, I’ve now associated writing with negative comments and then furthermore the feeling of disappointment.

It’s like nothing I ever do is good enough. 

One might think that this is me being too negative. Probably. But I just want to express my feelings by writing this. Yes, I know I have tons of supportive readers out there. 

More often than not, the supportive readers are silent. The noisy ones are actually the cancerous ones. So if the supportive ones are silent, what do we writers see? More negative comments than ones that are good and help us grow as a writer and make us feel good about what we do.

One time, when I was about to do a podcast with my friend, I asked my readers (177,000 of them) to send me questions or suggest topics that we can talk about.

And what happened? The questions I got were ALL the same: WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE?

Funny thing is, we actually used “Update Please” as the title of our Podcast. 

What’s not funny is how all that made me feel. 

It was my turn to ask my readers for help (after providing free content for such a long time now) and what I get back are requests to give them more free stuff at a faster time.

It made me feel like my sole purpose in this world is to create free stories. I tried putting my stories on paid sites and got a lot of hate for it. As in actual brutal hate. So to cater to many, I kept it on free sites.

And keeping those stories on free sites don’t really help in keeping a roof over my head and keeping me from not going hungry. So I need my job for that. And because I work, I don’t have that much time to write.

But when I do write, I just feel disappointed. When I try to do something related to writing for fun, people just tell me to update and flood me with all these requests.

I asked for help and instead of answering me with actual nice questions I can use, it’s all about the books. Ever had that one friend who always asks you for help and then when it’s you who needs it, your friend just shrugs and walks away? That’s how I’m feeling lately.

One more thing: the comments and the helpful feedback I used to get are now gone.

In-line comments are being abused. Reviews are being abused. 

Back then, someone would point out typos in the story in such a good way. And those are actually very much welcome because it saves me time editing my stories.

Right now, people don’t even point out typos anymore. I’d take it even rudely. But nope. Nada.

Here’s the usual comments I receive now:

1. Lol.

2. OMG she’s such a bitch.

3. Hahahaha.

4. Duuude.

5. When are you going to update?

So where’s the feedback? Where’s something to help me grow?

As for reviews, people would one-star a book just because something they wanted didn’t happen.

One reader actually told me that she wished the main female character got pregnant and then had a miscarriage and then the guy was so broken up over it that it made them closer.

That is a good story actually, but it’s not mine. Dear reader, that’s your story. Not mine. 

“If you have a story you want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” - Toni Morrison

This was the quote I used to live by when it comes to writing. I wrote the stories inside my heart. Something the reader in me would devour in one sitting.

This type of feedback doesn’t really help us because it’s like asking us to write an entirely different story.

Another thing: my works are my babies and it’s natural I feel this need to defend them.

But I can’t. Because when you reply to reviews, people actually think you are a horrible person who can’t take criticism.

I know criticism and there’s actually a thing called constructive criticism. But are these comments actually constructive? Asking me to change the plot to suit your needs?

There’s also a thing called being nice. If you have something to say, what’s there to lose by saying it nicely instead of in a rude manner?

The internet, social media, and the comment section actually give us space to exercise our freedom of speech. But sometimes, it doesn’t mean that just because you can, you should.

Leaving comments and hate messages are so easy nowadays because we all tend to hide behind our online identities and our keyboards are our weapons. But behind those things, we’re all still human. We have feelings. We get hurt. We get disappointed.

Think of the human in you and the human in the other person before leaving such nasty stuff. 

Also, golden rule: Do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.

It’s such a simple thing but is now lost in this world. Especially in the online world.

At first, I thought it was the platform that was toxic. So I tried other platforms. It turns out it’s both the platform and the people using it. And because those people tend to follow you in other platforms to share their toxicity as well, it’s like there’s no escape.

So now every time I sit down and try to type up words, it doesn’t feel the way it used to. It’s more like I do it just for the sake of doing it and not because it’s something I love and enjoy.

But shouldn’t you be thankful that you have thousands of readers and millions of reads?

My dear, it’s both a blessing and a curse. Not all of those readers will support you.

Others follow you just so they can get their free stuff. Ask them a question (which does not cost anything) and they can’t even give you ten seconds of their time.

Which gets me thinking: why should I?

Well, you should be thankful because we read your books! If not for us, you wouldn’t be where you are.

This is yet another toxic thing people love throwing around.

And I am indeed thankful to people who support me and bought my books and also read my stories online. 

But I find this phrase annoying.

If there were no writers, what would readers read?

After all this, are you still going to write?

I still am actually writing. I still write the stories inside my heart. I just don’t post them.

I write them for myself and read them for my own personal enjoyment. I don’t want to post it online anymore (at least not right now)

For so many times I’ve actually considered writing under a different pen name and never telling people who I really am. And I told myself that once I do that, it will be like starting over again. It will be like writing back in year 2012.

But when I think about making a new account, I always think about the few real readers I have on Aerith Sage. And that stops me. So I’m left somewhere in the middle: doing nothing.

It’s actually my birthday today and I’m sitting here writing this after I’ve read a bunch of toxic comments. This was not how I envisioned spending my birthday but shit happens.

So yeah, here I am writing this just to be able to express my real feelings about writing. 

I’m here writing this blog post instead of another chapter, I know. But I just can’t.

And I hope somebody out there actually understands this.

If you’ve read this all the way til the end, thank you and I hope you understand. Thank you so much for all the support.

#writing #writer #am writing #online writing community #blog #thoughts