#this stuff hurts much more than that aaaaaaa

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

exercise is torture aaaa (just had to walk for more than 10 minutes and lift weights)

#im built like a twig!1 how does my dad think that i can lift for more than 3 minutes aaaa #i know i have to do this bc itll help both my back and knee pain but if im being completely honest in this situation #this stuff hurts much more than that aaaaaaa #anyways thats the rant #gh0ost txt #personal

[yxami]

AAAAAAA the cow boy was so well made and adorable thank you very much!! I loved the little informations you dropped along the way regarding other farms, it made everything feel more alive!

If that’s alright can I make one more request? A yandere nerd with a fem reader, maybe reader saved the poor guy from some bullies and now he just keeps running after her like some lost puppy :( And at times he doesn’t have the courage for it he just spends all his time watching her from afar.

Maybe he’s a bit delusional as well and already imagined everything all the way to their wedding.

Also I feel like I’ll be active here quite a bit so can I be the 🌸 anon? So that it’ll be easier for me to find the stuff I requested

Thank you for requesting 🌸 anon, you’re my first named regular! Also, don’t be shy request more if you’d like. I like your ideas and it’s fun to bring them to life for you! I’m glad you like how I write them! I added the tag on your other request too!

description: yandere nerd, female reader, soft yandere, stalking, watching reader, he’s pretty tame, just a cute lil guy who wants to be your husband.

You heard voices down at the bottom of the stairs. You sighed assuming it was stupid couples getting handsy like always. There was never any announcements about it so couples got away with it, pretty often.

You were about to walk away until you heard clear voices that all sounded male. Way more than just two, that was weird. You got closer and heard a rather aggressive voice.

“Did you fucking purposely write the wrong answers so I’d copy?? You’re stupid as hell if you thought I wouldn’t find out afterwards!”

“I’m not letting you cheat off of me anymore! I’m gonna get in trouble and it’s wrong to cheat!” A soft male voice argued back with the agitated voice.

“Tch, we’ll see what you have to say after I beat the fucking life out of you. Grab his arms so he doesn’t move” The obvious attacker was about to beat him up, even telling his friends to hold him down.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing??” You ran down the stairs and confronted the group of three boys who were teaming up on one.

“Who the hell are you?” What you assumed was the leader turned around and gave you the meanest glare you’ve ever seen directed towards you before.

“Leave before I fucking tell the principal you’re causin’ trouble again” You knew he had run into trouble enough that the next big punishment was sure to get him expelled. You used that your advantage despite it still being risky to confront such a intimidating group.

“Fucking snitch, Cmon, let’s go. This chick obviously doesn’t have a life” He made an annoyed hiss, obviously pissed off that someone had ruined his revenge beating.

They cleared the area and now the guy sat against the wall was safe. You were glad you were there before he got hurt. You had no clue that bullying was actually going on in the school. You had never seen it before so you never thought it happened.

“Hey, are you okay?” You offered your hand towards the poor guy, hoping he didn’t get hurt before you stepped in.

“Y..yeah! Thank you..” He grabbed your hand and you helped him up. He looked a little familiar but you didn’t know who he was. Maybe he was in one of your classes.

“What was that all about anyways? Those guys were about to beat you up over some test answers? Geez, people are really fucked up now, huh?” You noticed he had red cheeks and you quickly worried.

Did they hit him before you interrupted? Was he okay?

“Are you okay? Your face is red! Did they hit you anywhere?” You cupped his face with both of your hands and moving his glasses on top of his head to scan all of his face. His face only seemed to reddened even more!

“I- I’m okay! They didn’t hit me!“ He rambled on about his perfect health, he was so flustered!! Your face was so close and he could hardly breathe. He had never been so close to a girl before! Especially not one as gorgeous and brave like you!

“Oh, good. If they ever bother you again, tell me! I’ll snitch on those fuckers. I don’t care if people bitch about it” You sighed in relief that he was okay and stepped back. He placed his glasses back on, his vision becoming clearer.

“Thank you.. You’re really brave! For standing up to them.. I mean I couldn’t do that” He laughed his cowardly trait off even thought he was a little embarrassed.

“It’s understandable though, three on one is not fair. It just shows how weak they are. What’s your name anyways, you look familiar” You smiled at him, happy that he was okay and laughing.

“My name is Kyosuke, I’m really happy that you stood up for me. I hope we can be friends!” He bowed and looked up with the cutest smile you’ve ever seen! He was adorable!

You shared your name and complimented his. You had to go though, the bell rung as soon as the words left your mouth. The both of you departed ways after exchanging your goodbyes and left to class.

You were happy you go to do something nice for someone. It was always a nice feeling to help a person in a dire situation. You were hoping you could see him again and become friends like he said!

You had no clue that he planned the same! Even going as far to follow you to all your clases; the next day, hidden in the crowds of students to see what your schedule was. He found out he had his last class with you, he knew you looked familiar!

You were across the room though, which made him a little sad. Maybe he’d could ask the teacher to move him next to you or ask for a new seating chart. He blushed at the thought of seeing you at the end of the day sitting next to him! It made him so giddy to even think about it!

The bell rang throughout the school and you picked up your bag to start heading home. You never had anything to do after-school. Clubs weren’t your thing but the ocasional stop to the gas station was fun.

Kyosuke wanted to approach you, so badly but he was too nervous to calm down his sudden feelings about you. Maybe tomorrow he would approach you and ask if you wanted to eat lunch together? He blushed imagining how eating lunch with you would be so intimate. Sitting next to each other, sharing food, like a couple!

You left the classroom hastily like everyone else, making it outside of school. You always walked home since your house wasn’t too far. You had no clue that your admirer tagged along as well.

You never assumed someone would be so infatuated with you, let alone follow you home. He managed to go undetected and closely watch you. He remembered every turn you did, every road you crossed, everything. He wanted to remember the path so he could follow you safely home everyday. It was good you didn’t live far away!

You threw your book-bag on your couch and went into the kitchen to go find a snack. You rummaged around, unaware of Kyosuke following you to your home. He was going to leave! He swore! But he really wanted to see what you did after-school.

He was just so interested about you now. He wanted to know everything just incase it would help him approach you easier. Maybe you liked a game and he could talk to you about it? Or a hobby!

He peeked through your kitchen window, covered in leaves from the bushes that surrounded your house. He moved some branches to clearly see you making yourself something to eat.

He pondered whether you liked to cook or not, maybe you’d like it if he made you something? You didn’t seem like a cooking person since he didn’t see any ingredients or spices around on your counters. Maybe you’d love a homemade lunch for him! As if he was your boyfriend!

The next day came by and you shut your locker, grabbing the lunch you brought for school today. You weren’t up for school lunch so you made yourself some food! It was rice with eggs and some fruit, pretty plain but still delicious.

You bumped into a familiar face, thinking it was one of your friends; you were quick to help the person up. It was Kyosuke though! The cute little nerd you helped yesterday.

“Hey Kyo! Sorry, I didn’t see you there” You smiled, still carefully holding your bag and lunch. You thought he was pretty adorable, you had never seen him before but you were glad you were able to help him.

“Hello! I was actually trying to see you today, I wanted to properly thank you for helping me. So.. I made you lunch!” He shyly brought out a container filled with delicious looking food, much more delicious then the food you had in your hands. He was too distracted with giving you the lunch to realize the nickname you gave him.

“Oh! I already made myself lunch though” You were caught by surprised that he still remembered who you were. You didn’t think you made a big impression other than someone who helped him out.

“Ah… never-mind then! I didn’t realize you made your own lunch” His smile hastily pulled into frown now seeing that you wouldn’t eat the homemade lunch he spent so long making for you. He got up super early to make sure it would be perfect.

“I was planning to sit outside since the weather is nice, why don’t we go share our lunches?” You were quick to comfort his sadness. His frown made you feel so guilty! It was almost like upsetting a poor puppy.

“Okay!” Kyosuke nodded happily. His plan was to give you the homemade lunch and hope you would ask for more so then he would be cooking for you everyday! But eating lunch with you was good too!

The two of you made your way to the courtyard of the school, the weather was nice, and the trees had perfect shade to sit under. Sure, you could sit on a bench but wouldn’t it be better to sit under a tree on the soft grass?

You opened up your container of food, the food seeming much more bland next to the well cooked food that he opened up.

“Try it! I was really excited to make this for you. I woke up early in the morning” He giggled pulling out silverware for you to use while you ate. You grabbed it and placed your container on your lap so it wouldn’t fall while you tried his food.

You grabbed a spoonful and the flavors melted into your mouth, your eyes lit up and letting out a excited noise of surprise at the taste. You mumbled your gratitude with a mouthful of the dish. He grinned while tilting his head; not understanding. He found it funny though. Once he got that you were saying thank you he insisted it was no problem.

“Can I have some of yours? It looks good too” He pointed to your untouched food. You nodded scooping more food into your mouth that he gave you. You grabbed the container with your free hand and handed it to him.

Kyosuke ate some of the rice and eggs and enjoyed it. You thought for sure he wouldn’t enjoy it as much as your cooking, from the taste of his food it seemed like he was a Michelin star chef. He could argue the opposite though.

Eating out of your lunch box, it felt like the two of you were close! He couldn’t help but gush over the fact that he was eating your cooking! Cooking that was intended for yourself but you graciously gave to him. You were so nice he couldn’t help but fall for you.

When the two of you get married, he could pack lunch everyday for you. He could be your husband who stays at home, keeping the house tidy and clean for his beautiful wife. The perfect balance in a relationship.

That would be his major plan after this! To have you as his wife, and keep you happy and full with his cooking. Maybe even have a kid or two if you wanted! He tried hiding his blush at his imagination running wild.

“Your cooking is good! If I knew you were such a good cook I would have you make me lunches everyday” You beamed, now able to talk without a mouthful of food.

“I could if you’d like to! I always have extra food that I just put in the fridge, so maybe… I could cook for you everyday” He shyly offered, he knew you weren’t being serious but maybe you’d accept his offer? He never cooked for anyone else other than himself but to make food for you everyday.. that would be amazing! It was exactly how he planned!

“I was joking! But if you’re offering I’d love to eat the extra food you have” You looked at him, excited hearing his words.

“Yay! What would you like me to cook next!” Kyosuke got giddy thinking of the ability to please you everyday with one of his best skills! He never knew cooking would bring him closer to a beautiful girl like you.

“Hmm.. how about sushi!” The thought of sushi for lunch would be amazing, your stomach practically craved it now that you thought about it.

“I can do that!” He was excited and would definitely go shopping after-school to get the ingredients for it.

The two of you ate under the beautiful tree that flowed when the wind guided it a certain direction. It was a nice afternoon, to be sharing lunches with a lover friend!

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #male yandere #pls request #gn reader #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #fem reader #female reader #make yan #nerd yandere #nerd yan #yan nerd #soft yandere #yandere soft #🌸 anon #kyosukemyoc

[omg-just-peachy]

ohmygod AAAAAAA THE SOFT PROMPTS ARE SO SOFT I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH…. it’s so hard to choose……

stevetony + 17, please? 🥺🙏 (or 28 if someone else has chosen 17…. or 30…… if 28 and 17 have been chosen…..) 🥺🙏

i just love the prompts so much and they will be so so so perfect with your writing style!!! just thinking of all the beautiful and soft stevetony peach fics we’ll get makes me so so so happy you have no idea!!! 😭🫶

17 // fixing the other persons clothes absentmindedly or like tucking their hair behind their ear U KNOW WHAT I MEAN THAT SOFT STUFF

****

There's something about Steve in the morning that Tony finds even more insanely hard to resist than usual. Morning, sleep-rumpled Steve just looks... soft. It's the only way to describe it. Sure, he's still a 200-something pound super soldier with arguably perfect proportions and enough muscle to lift a car, but —

"Morning, Tony," Steve says now, voice still a little rough with sleep. He hasn't gone for his morning run yet, which always smooths out those rough edges, brings Steve back to that Captain Rogers he is for the rest of the world. But Tony much prefers this version of Steve. Soft, sleepy, un-self-conscious Steve blinking into his coffee, not awake enough for much more than a nod and a smile, a mumbled 'g'morning.'

Tony hasn't been to bed yet, should probably head there now, really, but he can never quite make himself leave a room with Steve Rogers in it if he doesn't have to. It's another one of his vices, sure, but this one isn't really hurting anyone.

"Morning, Steven," Tony says with a smile. He's in that in-between phase where he's just finished a project after a long night and the exhaustion hasn't hit him yet. Soon enough he'll be dead on his feet, more than ready to hit the hay. Now, though, he's wired, running on ideas and adrenaline and that look Steve's giving him.

That's probably why he does it.

One minute Tony's standing next to Steve at the counter, waiting impatiently for the coffee to finish brewing, enjoying the way the early morning sun paints the kitchen in soft light. The next, Steve's looking at him, eyebrows knitting together.

"Have you slept yet, Tony?" He asks. "You look exhausted."

A lock of soft blond hair falls over his forehead as he says it, taking any witty retort right out of Tony's mouth. He's not even thinking when he reaches over and pushes the hair aside, tucking it into place like he does it all the time.

They both freeze, Steve's eyes locked on Tony's as time seems to slow down then stop completely.

Then Steve smiles, lopsided and tired and perfect.

"Thanks, Tony," Steve says quietly just as Tony clears his throat and offers a quick, "Sorry."

"S'alright," Steve tells him.

"Early," Tony replies, monosyllabic for the first time in his life.

Steve's smile widens. "Very," he agrees. "Maybe after we drink this and wake up a little, you'll let me take you to breakfast?"

Tony grins. Sleep can wait a little longer.

#earliebirb #this is such a cute prompt for them i hope i did it justice! #my fic #stevetony #stony #soft prompts

[lustbile]

ok i hope it's ok im dropping this here (pls feel free to disregard if not but)... JENO HAVING A BIG DICK. i'm spitting and crying i do not want to talk. you and jeno hanging out after a few dates makin out, things gettin hot and heavy and you're so keen to fuck and wet and ready and he's all hesitant and you politely ask why - not to pressure him, just to make sure he IS attracted to you - and he tells u that he's usually too big for girls and he doesn't wanna hurt u and asiduhiasdhsad AAAAAAA

of course it’s fine!!! I am now a member of the jeno big dick agenda so do not worry I welcome this ask with open arms.

but god he’s so sweet but also a boy™ so I do think he’s the type to be confident enough in his size that he will willingly make small dick jokes for fun. and of course since he’s so confident in it, your sure he isn’t actually packing two inches the way he likes to joke, but you’d definitely not be prepared for how big he is for real.

you’d probably guess that he’d be comfortably average, so when stuff finally started getting heavy you’d be confused when he’d seem apprehensive. because he also never came off as the type to be sexually insecure, and you’d probably already be wondering why he hasn’t already bitten the bullet and fucked you because you’d make it very clear how willing you were.

so there’d be a moment of panic alarms in your head when he hesitated, and even more when he seemed so shy when you asked him what was wrong. but when he finally spits it out, and tells you that the issue is he’s worried that he’s too big.

maybe you chalk it up to him just being paranoid and nervous, and there’s no way he’s that big. but once you assure him that you want him very badly and promise you’ll tell him if it’s too much, and he finally pulls off his clothes it’s…. yeah he’s not exaggerating

but you have confidence in yourself, and confidence in the fact that you know how incomprehensibly horny you are, and you know you can take it with some patience. also on top of the fact that jeno would rather die than not go down on you and finger you first.

jeno’s aware being able to take him will take some time, and that just pairs perfectly with his love for having his mouth on you. so you’d probably get two orgasms in just from his tongue and fingers before he ever even thinks about fucking you.

he’d have you begging for it no matter how sensitive you are, and his head is fucking spinning from the way you squirm and whine under him. and it gets even worse when he finally fucks into you and every inch of him has you panting and clawing at his back.

yeah he’s within his right to be worried about you being able to take him, but you take him like a champ even if you do lose all ability to form a cohesive sentence with your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

and then when it’s all said and done, he turns into a big cuddly baby that so worried about how you feel and making sure you’re okay, and when you assure him that it’s probably the best fucking you’ve gotten and you can’t wait to have him fuck you again, it would be his turn to get all flustered and turn into a babbling mess

#also that thing about guys with big dicks having a better chance at doing anal— #or whatever never mind #nct smut #jeno smut #nct dream smut #ask

[tonio-trussardi-blog]

Hello Happy October!

Here's some centric/he's there Tonio fics that I like/find interesting :D

Finding stuff about Tonio is pretty difficult (as always) and I'm thankful for the people who take their time of day to write about our favorite chef.

There's some fics I still haven't read so if your fav isn't here SORRY.

If you want to share your fave fics or one you wrote yourself go ahead! (No proship)

(Don't forget to read the tags and warnings the fics contain/provide! )

Summary:

“Unfortunately, whoever killed my brother,” Tonio says, and Okuyasu’s breath catches at the word “killed” just like it always does, “was probably … doing something that needed to be done.”

They’re silent, heads bowed under the weight of the words. Okuyasu is thinking Yeah. Yeah, and it hurts so badly, but at the same time it feels like he’s been saved.

Every October since 2001, Tonio closes the Trattoria Trussardi and cooks alone. Okuyasu finally finds out why.

Words: 2,508

Ships: NONE GET OUT SHU

(ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST OUCH)

Summary:

The fucked up thing is, when Okuyasu figures it out, has the epiphany, the lightbulb going off, the heavens opening up for angels to sing, Keicho stays dead. Dad stays this bulbous monster that rattles the walls and thuds feet on the floor. Mom doesn't show up alive at the door again.

Words:1,471

Ships: Nope

(AAAAAAA)

Summary:

“Pearl Jam’s range isn’t that large. I could make some food to go that surely will be better than a hospital meal, but it won’t quite have an effect.”

Josuke couldn’t come to the restaurant, not for a while - at least till he got discharged from the hospital, and that was just too long. Josuke couldn’t come see Tonio, but maybe, maybe Tonio could go see Josuke.

if the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain

Words: 5,713

Ships: Josuyasu

(Very fun read)

Summary:

Tonio loves his job, especially when he gets the opportunity to see all the happy couples in Morioh coming to his restaurant.

Words: 1,381

Ships: YES, A LOT OF THEM

(Love this fic)

Summary:

Josuke is torn over whether to bring up his crush to his friend. Tonio serves up sweet dessert and good advice.

Words: 798

Ships: Josuyasu in the making

(Very cute love when this two interact.)

Summary:

“I am Okuyasu of Motunui and we,” Okuyasu gestured between the two of them,” are going to restore the heart.

Okuyasu could only dream about touching the ocean, sailing on its gentle waves as he stares out at the endless expanse filled with so much potential. In fact, he did dream about it, until one day, he didn’t need to. It became his reality.

OR

Okuyasu was chosen by the ocean to restore the heart and he needs Josuke’s help to do it.

Words: 22,037

Ships: Josuyasu

(My first reaction to reading the tittle and summary was 'HUH?')

Summary:

Times Tonio helped Morioh out.

or

We need more fatherly tonio so here

Words: 4,572

Ships: Nope

(IT'S NOT FINISHED. Tonio I love you.)

Summary:

Jotaro feels like his stomach is sinking, because Tonio’s smile is so bright, and he’s going to ruin it.

Words: 2,101

Ships: Tonio x Jotaro. Jotonio? Tonitaro? Does this ship even have a name??? And past Jotaro x Kakyoin

(ohmygod this bitches)

Summary:

It's Okuyasu's birthday!!!! Will his friends actually remember?

Words: 3,185

Ships: Josuyasu

(AAAAAAAA this is so cute Okuyasu my boy you deserve the world)

#jjba #tonio trussardi #josuke higashikata #okuyasu nijumura #josuyasu #hirose koichi #yukako yamagishi #rohan kishibe #mikitaka hazekura #jotaro kujo #noriaki kakyoin #aya tsuji #tomoko higashikata #noritaro #jotakak #fanfics #long post #ttblog

[haventseensun]

yes i would like to critique AA again

so I feel like AA as a whole but mostly the post trilogy games kinda try not to have emotional moments? So in the trilogy there’s plenty of them i mean Mia’s death, Maya getting to see Mia again when she was channeled by Pearl (which made me fucking sob), the Skye sisters reconciling, Maya reuniting with Pearl and Phoenix after she was kidnapped, THE  WHOLE ENDING OF T&T AND TURNABOUT GOODBYES yeah? and then AA4 uhm i mean i get emotional about a lot of stuff in that game but we’re talking intentionally so the ending it has more of a feel good vibe but Trucy talking about how she knew her dad was alive but she has a new family and then there’s the picture at the end....but why didn’t we have Trucy act more emotional i know she’s supposed to be someone who hides how she really feels (which is something they already did with Maya but anw) but STILL and why didn’t we get a scene after the trial why didn’t we get Phoenix being happy about all the bullshit in his life being over and shit like that, but ok what about AA5...for a game so eeeeh it really delivers in the last case ESPECIALLY on the emotions it hurts like a bitch you fucking feel the grief that Aura feels, and we do get an emotional moment with Athena and Simon so thats something, and i don’t remember like anything from soj other than Trucy hiding in Edgeworth’s suitcase, some of turnabout storyteller and that Trucy did actually open up to Apollo and Athena a bit, and then the AAI games are well...in the first one its just Kay in turnabout reminiscence with her having to learn that her father is dead and also Miles comparing his own experience with losing his father to her. AND then AAI2 the blessing from god to us all honestly is kinda on the same level as the AA trilogy i mean the entirety of the inherited turnabout like do i even have to explain and the entirety of the forgotten tunabout??? i’ve talked about AAI2 a lot so i’ll try to keep this short, Miles accepting the past and just being proud of being a prosecutor and maybe finally understanding that his dad would not be dissapointed in him is so fucking emotional and how much he cares about Kay is also just so AAAAAAA, Sebastian getting the courage to be better than his father and just the groth he shows in that case especially when he says ‘thank you for everything and goodbye’ LIKE THE MATURITY???, Justine’s phonecall with John is also just so heartwarming so much stuff in that game oh my god (i might be very very biased) but seriously i feel like all the games other than AAI2 and AA5 in the last case just don’t do emotional moment like the trilogy does 

and i am ranting so bad this doesnt even make sense anymore probably but i was trying to say that i feel like AA games lack the same strong emotional moments the trilogy had but AAI2 and some of AA5 is an exception to this (and i don’t mean that i don’t get emotional during the other games, i do but it definitely wasn’t intentional)

and why do we not get art like this anymore

#incoherent rant #ace attorney #ace attorney investigations #aai #aai2 #ace attorney spoilers #so many spoilers #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #maya fey #mia fey #pearl fey #sebastian debeste #Trucy Wright #apollo justice #Athena Cykes #simon blackquill #aura blackquill #ema skye #lana skye #justine courtney #and we're not counting dgs #aa5 #aa4 #i love aa4 very much but i hate it for how little it actually gave us #like we need to make up so much shit for it #and im not saying the trilogy #is flawless im just saying it delivers on the emotional moments especially #don't read this rant for your own good #i don't know how to form a sentence

[thegeminisage]

it's time for. SIIIGH. a star trek update. on ummm feb 20 or whatever we did tng's "aquiel" and ds9's "q-less" (SIGH) and i didn't write an update because i was not very excited about those. and then we paused for a week to do natla. and then last night we did tng's "face of the enemy." ok.

aquiel (tng):

what's weird is that of the two episodes we watched that evening i actually did like this one better

that said it DID involve geordi being a little bit of a creep to the not-so-dead-girl though. when he brings up a fact about her he should not know it's JUST like leah brahams. granted it was actually his job this time to watch her diary and he SUPER thought she was dead but still. can you not open with that

i did like geordi taking his visor off though it's always cool when he gets to do that

i knew from the beginning something was Up with the dog but i didnt EXPECT THE DOG TO BE EVIL..................tng writers that is just heartless. not only is the real dog dead but the fake dog got killed too. you killed the dog twice. are you happy? do you feel proud of yourself? i fucking hate this show actually

nevermind idr anything else about this episode and i have now stopped caring

q-less (ds9):

i only found q tolerable ONE TIME. ONE TIME i found him tolerable and that was when he was drooling over picard who did not want to fuck him and it was the funniest thing i'd ever seen and every day i beg them to do it agaiun but they won't. you know who's not in ds9? picard! so get q out of here!!

this felt way too much like a tng episode for my tastes. i decided i don't like that chocolate in that peanut butter.

vash hot though. whew! you slap some crow's feet on a woman and i swoon instantly

vash rubbing ferengi ears like lwaxana troi made me have ptsd flashbacks to the episode with the ha ha funny rape. no fucking thank you

honestly, does sisko need to be dealing with picard's past lays and guy who wishes he could be a present lay? picard killed his wife. give the man a break

that said i DO think q and vash were fucking purely because that's as close as q can get to fucking picard. disgusting.

anyway 0/10 except for vash's wrinkles

face of the enemy (tng):

THEY MENTIONED SPOCK IN THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! boy i sure sat up straight fast

deanna racefaking as a romulan AGAINST HER WILL...could they not have just asked. could they not have asked like literally ANYBODY. like she was so underprepared. that said i loved that she actually got to do stuff

the fucking guy in this was tosk or whoever from ds9...he looked SO familiar but i feel like i know him from somewhere else too

my fav part of this ep besides the spock mentions of course was the fact that the romulan commander deanna was up against seemed like a genuinely good person who had been hurt by the empire. like deanna was very much the bad guy here. imagine if some starfleet bigwig took kirk's ship away and used it to kill 18 people, you know? the outside pov vibe was kind of a slay actually

kind of a bummer to do all this angsting about romulus and helping the defectors and everything when quite literally it's gonna blow up in like...what, less than 20 years now, right? yeah. i mean if a romulan had a baby right now that baby wouldn't even live to be old enough to drink. obviously they had no idea when they were making all this but it's THAT VERY FACT that kind of makes me fucking nuts. please smuggle more people out of there. get them out now while you can. but they don't know. and it's not dramatic irony that they don't know like in real life nobody making this KNOWS. AAAAAAA

TONIGHT: ds9's "dax" and tng's "tapestry."

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb

[teatin]

hiii! hope you're well.

this might be random but i just wanted to ask if you've played re4 remake yet? and if you have i would love to hear your thoughts on it? (i guess more specifically about aeon bc i am a Big Simp for them LOL but ofc i would love to hear any and all thoughts you have)

also i absolutely love your fanfics on ao3, you're so talented and your writing is so good aaaaaaa i've been rereading them over and over lmaoooo

anywayyyy thank u for ur time and i hope you have a lovely day ❤️

Hi there! So sorry I let this sit in my inbox for so long 😭

First of all: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad that you enjoyed my Aeon fics on AO3 and I hope I can continue to contribute even more fics to the fandom.

Now to the important stuff: Honestly? I really like what they did with Aeon in RE4R. My main criticism of their relationship in the OG game is that the devs didn't seem to know how to write a conversation between them that would last longer than 5 seconds, so all of their interactions in OG RE4 essentially boiled down to Ada smoke bombing Leon the moment the conversation started to get even slightly confrontational.

That's one thing I hoped they would improve on in the Remake and they did.

The original boat scene had no dialogue, but Remake's boat scene contained what is probably the closest thing we've had to a heart-to-heart between them. In the original, Ada swerved and crashed the boat against the rocks the moment she sensed Leon might have something to say, but here, she actively gives him an opening to speak his mind, and they actually get a chance to talk things out a little, even if the moment didn't last nearly as long as it should. I can appreciate that.

I also like the way they changed their final confrontation over the Plagas sample in a way that fits better with the narrative established in RE2R. In the original, Ada holds Leon at gun point, forcing him to hand over the sample, and even though we knew she would never hurt him, in the Remake timeline that scene wouldn't work as well considering 1) Leon had already challenged her to shoot him and she couldn't, another standoff like that wouldn't make any sense from a thematic or character standpoint, and 2) Remake Leon is clearly shown to be extremely vocal about his disillusionment and distrust of Ada, having her pull a gun on him after all that would've essentially undone any development they might've had throughout the game.

But it's not just Ada who changed. Leon pretty much let her have the sample without even bothering to put up a fight, and this is done without having a gun pointed at his head. This is also a continuation of the narrative established in RE2R: He probably remembers the last time he tried to fight her over a virus sample and how it led to catastrophic consequences. It also shows (in a very subtle way) that despite everything he said, he trusts Ada to not let the sample fall into the wrong hands. You can't tell me that if he had even a sliver of doubt, he wouldn't have at least tried to reason with her to get it back, instead he just kinda lets her have it.

I do think they could've done more with their relationship (I understand why Leon choking Ada while under the influence of the Plagas was removed, but I will forever be bitter about them axing a significant scene that involved Ada and giving it to LUIS of all people), but unlike a lot of people, I never went into the game expecting things to be sunshine and rainbows between them so the angsty direction of their relationship did not surprise me at all. If anything I could see shades of their Damnation era relationship in RE4R so I'm actually pretty pleased all things considered.

Also, them casually Facetiming each other this time around is just so funny to me somehow. It added a bit of lightheartedness in an otherwise quite heavy game (Aeon-wise).

RE4 era has always been a rough patch for Aeon. That has never changed. They bonded in such a short time in Raccoon City and that budding connection was immediately crushed by Ada's deception, and then she "died" before Leon could even process any of it (and he continued to not process any of it in the 6 years that followed, if the opening cinematic is anything to go by). That's a LOT of unresolved trauma and conflicted emotions. But they do care deeply, underneath it all, and we know that they will eventually get to a place where they can be comfortable with each other as they are. They haven't gotten there yet, but they will. And that's okay.

#leon x ada #resident evil #aeon

[i-willstealyourtoes]

had an idea last night, may be my last request for a while so I don't overwhelm you but I'll be online!

So maybe jacket, Jimmy, Houston and hoxton with a non-heister S/O who's super innocent, like doesn't get dirty jokes, so on, who also really likes soft fluffy stuff? Cuz like that's cute

Your writing is fantastic btw! Keep up the great work ♡

Hi! Tysm I really appreciate it <33 Also my requests are open now so u can send all your prompts :> Oh and I'm sorry that these might be shorter; I've been losing my momentum recently... 😭

Jacket, Jimmy, Houston + Hoxton with innocent/cute/civie s/o

Jacket

- I think he finds your innocence really refreshing, bc he's used to working with.... well the heisters

- They're not as innocent, as you are probably aware of

- But yeah, he kind of enjoys just having a cute and innocent s/o

- He's glad you haven't seen the horrors of the world

- But at the same time he feels bad bc

- What if he ruins it???

- Even if he isn't actually Jacket (as in, HLM/HLM 2 not being canon), he's still done a lot of... morally questionable things

- You're so nice and cute, he doesn't want to ruin your beautiful view on the world

- But at the same time... he's absolutely addicted to you

- Like everytime he hears you giggle, smile, or be cute... he can't get enough

- You know how people game because they need an escape? That's low-key him with you

- You're his comfort everything

- After a long day of hurting others, he just wants to see you

- Sometimes he'll just observe you

- Like... when your waiting at a park for your date, he'll just look at you for a little while before actually coming up to you

- It doesn't matter how silly goofy you are, he likes just seeing you interact with the world, in your cute clothing and your cute smile

- When he first met you, he thought your innocent demeanour was a facade

- BECAUSE HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SEX JOKE SHSHBSHSNS

- 'Eh? What does... the eggplant emoji imply if not veggies?'

- Jacket just looks at you like 👁️👄👁️ 'how do you not know it means someone's DI-'

- (He did not say that)

- But still, he assumed you were just pretending to be that innocent

- Once he hung out with you more, he realized you really are just that dumb innocent

- I don't think he likes inviting you to the safehouse

- I mean, safehouse raids happen whenever so...

- Also he's scared the others might scare you or ruin your innocence

- He doesn't trust the others with you, especially alone

- WHAT IF THEY TELL YOU ABOUT THE SEX AAAAAAA-

- If you do ever hang out with the others, they always tease Jacket about it

- Especially Houston

- 'No offense, but why did you choose chicken little over there? He's so-OW JACKET WAIT OW-'

- No he did not kill Houston... I think

- Jacket feels that Houston's right, why him???

- He thinks of himself of like... 4/10

- You? To him, you break the scale 😊

- (In a good way, not in a 'you're worse than 0' way)

- You probably have to keep reassuring him that he's a 10 (or more) in your eyes

- (He thinks you're lying)

- (We're not Jacket, you're cool)

- Still, he can't help but smile when you're hugging him on the couch, telling him how much you love him

- The combo of hugging your cute form, along with your gorgeous voice...

- Those moments make him feel like he can't get any better

- Like... he's made it, he's made it to heaven

- He would, in a heartbeat, give up everything for your sweet soul

- All you have to do is go 'Please...?' and he'd probably gut a guy for you

- (He definitely would, don't ask him unless you actually want him to)

- He can't help but become a little fluffier with you

- The snuggles... get him every single time

- He just wants to pick you up and just-

- AAAAAAAAAAA HE LOVE YOUUUUU

Jimmy

- Bro... he... he love you so much

- Like... EEEEEEEEEE-

- Idk if I headcanon him as neurodivergent (idk if I even can, as a neurotypical person)

- BUT HE JUST-

- STIMMING EEEEE

- Whenever you snuggle with him or wear really cute fluffy clothes

- Flapping hands or something idk

- He... 🥺

- He's like 'bro my s/o is literally everything'

- Yes you are his new addiction moving on-

- He does call you his 'angel' most likely

- Most likely meaning you have a 90% chance-

- 'Hello angel.'

- CAN YOU HEAR HIM ACTUALLY SAYING THAT??? BC I DO

- OH and if he doesn't call you that??

- The other 10% he calls you something like 'sweetheart'

- NAH BO YOU MAKING ME SIMP FOR HIM NOW

- (For context, I did not really until this-)

- Always has his hands on you

- Not in a bad way??? Like he just always has an arm around you, or holds your hand or a hand on your thigh/waist

- No, it is not sexual (unless you show those intentions to him)

- I genuinely think that when he's really out of it, he actually thinks you're not real 😭

- Like he'll squint his eyes and all 💀

- Man's is like 'no way you're real, there's no way I must be trippin HARD'

- He will pinch you or feel your face to make sure you are in the physical form 💀

- It's either that or he asks you if you've seen his partner (you)

- Like wth????

- 'Hhhhey excuse- excuse me? H-have you seen a person about ehh.... yay-high-?'

- THEN HE GESTURES TO ABOUT A FOOT TALL GREMLIN WTH-

- It does not matter if you're crazy tall, he'll still do that

- '-they're like... SUUUUUPER cute... Like-like CRAZY amounts of cuteness. The kind of... AAWWWWWW A PUPPY cute, you know???'

- 'Babe, that's me-'

- 'WOAH I LITERALLY JUST TALKED ABOUT MY S/O HOW DARE YOU-'

- Bro he trippin-

- Please help him through these times okay he just took a little too much of the illicit pharmaceuticals

- When he snaps out of it, he has no embarrassment about it

- (Idk how, if I were him I would've dug my own grave after)

- OH RIGHT YEAH ABOUT YOUR LACK OF SEX JOKE KNOWLEDGE

- He does make sex jokes now and then, so he finds it kind of funny when you don't get them???

- Like 'haha your so stupid and cute I love you please marry me'

- (He has probably said this at one point in your relationship)

- Jimmy trying to explain 'adult jokes' to you is literally my source of comedy

- 'You see, it's funny because it looks like a PENI-'

- LMAO I AM CACKLING AT THIS-

- The idea of him explaining those kind of jokes while you're like '...?' to him so such a funny concept I love it

- 'What do you mean if it's rock hard you will be too? OH-'

- (Reference to this video)

- Anyways, he likes how cute and innocent you are, though unlike Jacket he'll probably have no issue telling you about funny innuendos-

Houston

- I think he didn't get it at first either????

- Like how... how do you not get the joke

- You're of legal age, HOW-

- He finds it kind of amusing though so he doesn't mind

- It's low-key his source of entertainment I'm ngl

- He's probably shown you funny sex jokes and asked you to explain

- 'Uh.... the eggplant emoji... is it like... a veggie joke?'

- Bruh.... what is with you and the eggplant smh

- Anyway, he finds it really funny and sort of cute???

- I think at first he found it a little annoying since he'd have to explain it?

- But now he just thinks it's comical

- As for you being cute???

- Bro.... he.... he loves you

- The cute fluffy vibes really got him

- I feel like he might prefer cuter s/os anyway?

- It's just.... the hugs omg

- He might act tough when you hug him

- BUT ON THE INSIDE HE IS... AAAAAA-

- The little smooches you give him

- Bro thinks he's blessed by the gods fr

- He does get a little red if you give him enough attention bc ofc he do

- 🍅 <- him rn

- Like he

- He...

- Girl (gender-neutral) I don't even know fr he's just down BAD

- Idk how to explain it... it's just he actually feels addicted to your existence

- The idea of him sitting down after successfully hitting a bank, with you snuggling into him

- Bros moved to tears at the thought (/jk)

- Also I feel like he'd brag about you

- AAAAAAALLLL THE TIME

- 'Yeah, you might have got more heads, but I'm the one with the angel here. So fuck you.'

- Bro just likes bragging oml

- ESPECIALLY with Hoxton because ofc he has to one up him all the time oml

- If he runs out of comebacks, he just picks you up and is like 'Well do you have this? No, you don't.'

- If you're up for it, he loves you more

- IF YOU BLOW RASPBERRIES AT HOX HOUSTON WILL FIND IT SO FUNNY LMAO

- 'Yeah, you tell it him babe.'

- If you'll allow it, he'd like to pick you up and help you with everything? He likes to feel like a big strong guy with his damsel/Prince so...

- If you don't like it, it'll take every fiber of his being not to help you so much

- He... he can't help it, he just wants to be there for you

- Maybe a little too much

- He loves you alot okay....

- If you're small too? He's gonna help you anyway whether you want his help or not

Hoxton

- EEEEEEE-

- Him when you're cute: :]

- He really likes to keep a hand on you like Jimmy?

- Hand on the waist or shoulder for him is a go to :>

- He will not hesitate to pick you up when you ask

- 'Alright, up we go-' or 'There, prince(ss).'

- He really enjoys doing this because he just.... it's just so fun okay-

- (Pick me up Hox I want to go uppys)

- Like Houston, he will probably also brag

- 'Hey wanker, look at this-' (then he just picks you up and kisses you, giving a middle finger to Houston)

- If you blow raspberries at Houston he will also gain +100 love for you

- Which is sort of impossible considering how he loves you infinity amounts already

- He LIVES for the cute fits you do bc like...

- Duh???? You slay???

- If you wear anything fluffy/with skirts he love you :>

- Wearing stuff like that gets you an extra chance at being picked up

- BC LOOK AT YOU

- VHHBSJSNSJSNSN-

- Anyway, he likes how innocent you are too bc????

- The fact you don't get some of these jokes are so funny to him

- Like... how do you not get them lmao

- 'Wait... so the eggplant emoji... isn't just indicating the vegetable???'

- (Nahhh not you with the eggplant omd)

- 'Ye-(is laughing) Yes babe, the eggplant emoji is not just a vegetable. What do you think it could be?'

- It doesn't matter if you understand it now, he'll still make fun of you for it

- Like he'll be shopping for groceries with you or something

- And if he finds an eggplant?

- 'Hey babe, what's this?'

- (Smh Hox stop the bullying)

- He really likes showing off all his achievements to you, knowing that you'll do the cute face (🥺/🤩)

- 'Yeah, then he took a shotgun to the face! The Dozer was fucked to begin with, anyway...choosing to fight me, of all people. What a dumbass cop....'

- Yes he likes to flex his muscles a little too okay

- If you marvel at them too? HSJSNSJAJJSHSHSHSJSJDJDJSJ-

- He... AAAAAAAAA-

- I think he has never loved anyone more than you

- Maybe money

- Okay maybe not money

- He thinks you're cuter :>

- I feel as if he would kind of... well not baby you, but definitely treat you like an deer that needs help 💀

- Like, if someone (probably Houston) broke their leg, he'd literally not care at all-

- 'Walk it off, bitch-boy.'

- If you bruised your leg? He's taking care of that first

- Both bc he knows you're a civ, but also bc he doesn't want his fluffy ball of sunshine to be hurt at all :'/

- 'Alright, you just sit here, I'll get something to treat that. HOUSTON MOVE OUT THE FUCKING WAY-'

- I swear, he's just here to love you, and hate Houston 😭

[nautilus-that-eats-hyacinths]

hate the new dashboard so much aaaaaaa

but this isn't what this post is about. this is another one of my rant about myself, my life and society posts that I could only post on Tumblr cause I'm deadly scared people will judge me for how I feel, or just no one will relate to me but here it goes.

so I'm a teen girl (?) right, and I have a loving and caring boyfriend who loves me for all I am, and I have been (dated and kissed and stuff TM) with other people, but I just feel so fucking undesirable. Like. All the time. I'll look at myself in the mirror maybe twice a week and go huh wow I look hot/cute! And all the bathrooms I use have unavoidable mirrors so...

But the thing is, I have kinda always felt like this? Like obviously not always, I was indeed a baby once but I feel like ever since I've realized I am "a woman" (probably around like 6yo), or that I was supposed to be a woman someday, I feel like I've had this need to feel desirable. Maybe it's like trauma from my parents being kinda distant, but I remember so so clearly feeling like I wanted to be pretty to school cause I wanted boys to like me, that I had to use my cutest clothes when we got to not wear uniform (non-USAmerican here amen), that my friends were always cuter than me. And like, I didn't- still don't- want to date many people, or want to have sex with many people or even kiss many people, I'm literally demisexual, but I just have this need for people to want me. Not to have like my love corresponded, or even my attraction corresponded, like one way want towards me.

And like this feels so mean? Like I want people to like me but I won't like them back. Like bro tf???? Why do you want to hurt people like that??? But also it's not about them, like, it's not gonna happen, I have never had many people falling for me and wanting me, so I'm not actually gonna hurt someone, but I kinda feel like a monster for like indirectly wanting to hurt people

Also this really sucks cause my friends are so desirable. Like they have more developed bodies (I look like 3 years younger than I am- and this leads to another topic that I could only debate on Tumblr so I might make a post about it lol), or at least are more extroverted and easy to approach/befriend, or are cuter and like. This is the stupidest shit but I feel like I'm the ugly one- I'm not even ugly, people have liked me, my bf says my body is perfect for him, and still, I don't get people wanting to kiss me at parties, I don't get people asking my friends if I'm single, or if I might open my relationship, I don't get people asking my friends for my number, I don't get people telling their friends that I'm hot (my school is pretty small/connected so we kinda do hear everything one way or another) and all my friends get this and it is absolutely stupid, and I know I'm just being an overly emotional teen but fuck, it hurts

And maybe this is all because I am clearly dating and like the whole school knows at this point, so no one would approach someone so obviously unattainable, but also, maybe, from the depths of my low self esteem, maybe I am just that undesirable that all my friends are so wanted by so many people and I get maybe one person a year maximum who is interested in me

And like I'd like to talk to my boyfriend about this cause yk, he's my best friend, I like talking to him and being comforted and feeling safe and letting go of my insecurities a bit by wording them and sharing them, but I'm scared that he's gonna think it's his fault somehow or that he's not enough when he literally could never be enough for this stupid irrational need because I want many people to be attracted to me and desire me and he's literally just one person like babe, you can't do mitosis sweetheart.

And I think maybe this comes from learning (internalizing but not rationalizing) as a young kid that what gives power to a woman is her influence, and women are given influence most often (not by their fault, obvs) by how attractive they are. Or maybe this is just bs and it's inherent to my messed up brain. Or it has a different societal cause that I haven't stopped to think about or process yet

#thanks for reading guys!!! #this was a long one lol #rant post #own post #femininity #personal #self immage #self esteem #attraction

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Was able to make it to Rock Ruler just a couple games before the fest ended! (Sidenote: nice touch, changing the title to “Ruler” from “King/Queen” as part of Splat 3 not having gendered player characters anymore. I think that’s neat ^^)

.....I CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS GAME TO COME OUT, AAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY MOOOOOOORE- *cough*

Seriously, this was SOOOOOO fun! I didn’t expect to like Tricolor Turf War as much as I did, but it’s so clever! I love how the two teams of two are kinda, like....frenemies? They’re still competing but also working together to defeat the team of four. You can still splat each other, but you both get extra points if one of you wins over them! So, it’s like...very strategic. Like, there was one game where I actually helped Team Paper steal the Ultra Signal, since my teammate wasn’t close by and I was willing to do that to hurt Team Scissors. It’s a really neat idea for a mode, and I can’t wait to see how it feels on other stages other than Sturgeon! (Don’t get me wrong, I love Sturgeon and I’m happy to have it back)

I was also not expecting to come outta this with a new secondary, but...here I am! Seriously, of all weapons, why did I bond so hard with the Splatana Wiper? I thought it was gonna be just....like....a less mobile brush, but it’s SO FUN!? I can’t even explain why it is to me! But I just love it! I love sneaking up behind people and swiping at them, and I love how awesome I feel when I pull off a change swing- I love throwing Torpedoes to annoy everyone- I-it’s just so cool, and I wanna use it mooooore! I even used it so much, that I started getting better at Ultra Stamping....>.>

As for the Tri-Stringer.....I-I wouldn’t say I dislike it. I did pull off some stuff with it. I can see potential fun there. It’s just....I kinda struggled with it, cuz it gives me the same uncanny feeling as Bamboozlers....in that, it’s supposed to play differently than a charger, but it’s JUST SIMILAR ENOUGH that Charger Muscle Memory kept screwing me over, and I kept playing it wrong. Like....it’s a ranged weapon that focuses on splatting over inking, and it even charges up its attacks! But it’s clearly meant to be more mobile than a charger, and someone like me can’t just sit on a perch with it. You can one-hit kill with it....but only if all three “arrows” hit at the same time, meaning it’s somehow even MORE precise than a charger. I kept trying to be a sniper with it, and I really shouldn’t have, but....it’s just what I’m used to. >.< I get the feeling that the Tri-Stringer is a weapon that I’d have to really commit to learning before I become good with it, and well.....I-I already main a charger, which already requires me to focus. It’s got potential, it’s just....really awkward, and not for me.

BUT THE SPLATANA WIPER THO-

O-oh yeah, speaking of the Splatana Wiper! It was with that weapon, that I got my very first (and only) victory in a Tricolor match, so....that’s another point in its favor. XD (It was me and a roller)

I also won....I wanna say only one 10x match that I remember right now. And there were

barely any

mirror matches - one of the reasons I’m happy there are three teams now. XD

And that’s about it! I-I honestly....don’t really mind if we lose, cuz this demo was just about learning how the game works compared to 2 and allowing everyone to adjust to the changes. We don’t even keep the snails. That’s why I’m not bringing up my win-loss ratio...cuz it doesn’t really matter. I had fun, learned the new mechanics, that’s all I needed. XD B-but for Shiver, I still tried my very best! >.<

#lauri plays splatoon 3 #(never thought i'd say that i'm a future splatana wiper secondary....that's like the polar opposite of sniping...but its gonna be such a #fun change of pace for when i dont feel like sniping! or when the rotation says no XD) #(cant wait to learn it better) #splatfest

[amarathegreatintelligence]

[ a bit of a ramble by a very tired tolys since i'm tired but i can't sleep ]

[ idk i'm just typign with my eyes closed at this point because the bright white of the beta editor is hurting the hell out of my eyes right now. ]

[ i'm so incredibly sleepy but I can't sleep at the sam etime, when i first tried logging into Tumblr the damn site wasn''t working so then I went to twitter and. you all have to know who Kanye "Ye" West is at this point. the dumbass leaked his kids' school;s name just so they'd be taken out and brought to his school... which is stupid. I don't know where the post is anymore but apparently they don't even fucking teach history at that school. I can't believe their are children that attend that school. it's not even accredited, so colleges probably couldn't even accept a student that "graduated" from that school which honestly... i feel bad for the kid and more so concern for the parents.. like we're talking about the same guy that supports some orange fucko, has a line of clothes that says WLM which is a whole nother issue but I actually hate him so much and honestly good on Kim for not saying anything about it either other than hiring more security because Ye's just digging himself an early legal grave... sigh. Man has so many mental problems and it pains me that with the amount of money he probably makes in a day could pay off so much stuff for us. Weekly therapy, all of our meds that we have to take, doctors appts. like he could be using that money and the resources he has to help better himself as a person and get the help he needs and he spends it on building a school that you don't fucking learn in. I have very strong opinions about the American Education system. actually i can go on about that, but after I finish talk about Kanye. Schools are a place you're meant to learn in and the fact that you AAAAAAA Kanye is an enigma at this point and he frustrates me. fuckin rich folk and their ability to do whatever they please. i swear the only reason I listen to his music still is because spotify doesn't give their artist's enough fucking money. then again, i don't even listen to his new shit, I miss the days when we were younger and got to listen to Stronger on the radio and us liking it simply cuz it sampled Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk... sigh... I'd say the good old days but my own existence is proof enough it's not exactly *good* old days. ]

[Anyways, I don't like the American Education system for a variety of reasons but the main one stems from their lack of care towards students with IEPs/504s otherwise neurodivergent students and also how... white-tified it is. though i think that's another vent as I'm finally getting really tired again. good night ]

[ oh good on me. not a lot of spelling errors. and that's on having the keyboard practically memorized. ]

#osdd #actually traumagenic #osdd 1b #introject not rp #osdd1b system #system #non traumagenic dni #aph lithuania #hws lithunia #hetalia #probably some hot takes #i'm tired #i heavily dislike kanye

[house-of-laminations]

ok picture this for a nonhuman MC

It's the first week MC has been back in the human world since the ending of the exchange program, and the brothers are starting to get a little worried since they havent heard from MC in a while (2 days but still), so Lucifer asks Solomon to check in on them, just so his brothers stop demanding to check on MC in person (and cause he's also a little worried, not that he'd ever say)

So Solomon does, only to catch them on their way home from the hospital, bandages covering a large part of their arm. Dog attack, they explain, and they only didn't mange to tell anyone because they left their phone in their appartment. Solomon can feel something is... off about MC, but can't get a good enough read to know for sure. Plus he doesn't want to worry them after what was clearly an upsetting ordeal. Before the month is up, Sol is dragging them back to the devildom to visit their boys.

but something.... is different about MC. Beel is the first to notice it, the way they seem more ravanous, not nearly close to himself, but enough to notice a shift. They're eating more rare meat lately too, their cut of meat almost bloody. Asmo notices that their nails seem sharper lately, but he chalks it up to some new technique hes testing out on them and doesn't think much of it. They all notice how MC's sense seem to have sharpened, picking up on subtle scent changes that a human nose shouldn't detect, and how their reflexes have improved. But they write them off, mostly. Maybe it's just human stuff?

Until one night, a month after the dog attack, they hear a horrible, pained scream from MC's room. Mammon gets there first, already on his way over, but he's honestly not sure what he's seeing. He's seen worse, body horror is pretty normal for demons, but fuck human's bodies aren't supposed to twist and grow like that.

More of the brothers arrive as MC's bones twist and snap and rearange themselves into distictly nonhuman shapes. Hands become paws with wicked claws, their face lengthens and shifts into a muzzle, and fur grows all over their body, all while their pained screams slowly shift into howls. Satan is the first to name the transformation; werewolf. The creature that was MC lunges, and Mammon is not to hurt them as he holds them to the ground.

sorry if this is hard to read or anything lol its like 1am and i blacked out and woke up to find this typed out, another route for werewolf mc is that being in the devildom constantly puts them into a sort of semishifted state, but I decided to keep them tied to the human world lunar cycle for this ^w^

aaaaaaa I LOVE your take on a werewolf MC! Thank you for sharing it! 💛 The brothers seeing the hints and signs but not stringing it together until the wolf is right in front of them. MC is in so much pain during the transformation, and there's nothing they can do to help and they all just feel so. helpless. It's not a normal feeling for them....

And its not as if a werewolf is much more dangerous for them than a human - Mammon makes a bit of a joke in poor taste that they finally have another House mascot. Does it affect MC's relationship with Cerberus, I wonder?

The idea that Devildom's constant night would mean that they're always at least partially shifted is AMAZING, though I did then just immediately picture an MC right out of Teen Wolf. I imagine their wolfy instincts would always be on-edge around the brothers - that is until they're accepted as 'pack'

#werewolf mc #obey me mc #this was so fun to read!!!! i'd definitely be down for more if it ever strikes your fancy!! #ok confession: i have just spent the last two weeks doing a teen wolf fanfiction binge so this was just like [chefs kiss] #i talk to a real human

[fishybehavior]

Aaaaaaa

Pls spill oni stuff! I wanna hear it!!!!

ok so imma gonna start with some lore

basically I've changed how the lore starts, the elements are split between the oni's and the dragons, the main four elements, Fire, Lighting, Earth, and Ice are split between them. Dragon are of creation and have earth and ice, Oni's are of destruction and have Lighting and Fire. All other elements are offshoots of these original four.

The first realm starts with only dragons and oni and the two species balance each other and the realm flourishes, they don't always agree or get along but destruction and creation balance out and everything works.

Omega and the Firstborn are basically gods over their races having powers of pure destruction and creation respectively. And they decided to try and create a new race, one that can balance itself, having access to both destruction and creation. They want to bring the realm into more harmony and hope that this new race can be the bridge between them both. So they create the FSM (who really needs a new name) and he is their son basically. With all four elements with creation and destruction.

Omega and Firstborn teach them all they know, and try to teach him how to keep the balance of the realm. But the FSM favors Firstborn, and creation, he does not understand the need for destruction. He wants perfection and happiness, and he thinks he can achieve that through following creation. At this point he is leading the humans, and the humans don't all have elemental powers, but they're all made from destruction and creation, some have more destruction others more creation, but there is balance. And for awhile everyone lives in harmony.

But after years of watching the people he's unsatisfied and hates how it seems that destruction has taken over some people, making violence and pain and hurt. He decides to take those who have more creation and he leaves to create his own realm, abandoning the others in the realm. He creates Ninjago and separates himself from his own destruction (a dark shadow that eventually becomes the overlord) and is determined to make his own perfect realm that is balanced.

But by doing this he's thrown the first realm out of balance, as the humans aligned with destruction fall further into it, being abandoned and having no counterbalance or law they become the hunters of the first realm. They destroy faster than the dragons can create, throwing the realm out of balance, the oni's try to help, refraining from destruction and even trying to help create but they can't. Magic begins to fade from the oni's and the dragons numbers shrink as the humans devour the land. The first realm used to be a plentiful world of magic and plants and life, but its slowly been draining as their world has fallen more and more out of balance. Both Omega and Firstborn had tried to help but their own powers and magic have been draining as well. So they decide to slumber to try and gather as much strength and magic as they can, hoping that they will be strong enough to correct the wrongs and restore balance.

No one is sure whether they will create a new realm to flee to, or destroy the Hunters and reclaim the realm.

For Ninjago even though the FSM has tried to make his realm in creation the overlord is still in the realm creating destruction, he is the one that transforms a lonely serpentine into the great devourer. A beast that could devour the excess of creation and will always hunger. This is the reason Ninjago is always in danger of destruction, a world made out of balance with too much creation attracts itself to destruction, and it only gets worse and worse until balance or complete destruction is achieved.

Destruction in itself is not a bad thing, and by both oni's and dragons its not seen as something negative but something inevitable and good. Destruction is change for creation, and everything created has an end. But the FSM only saw the pain that comes from seeing something end, and decided to try and make something perfect instead of something balanced. The reason that the FSM eventually dies is that he separated himself from his own destruction putting himself out of balance.

- - -

I told u guys its a lot of lore

#ninjago #my lore #oni jay au #omega ninjago #firstborn ninjago #fsm ninjago #first realm #hunters ninjago #dragons ninjago #onis ninjago #me?? #dumping lore on main?? #u bet i am #:) #i wrote 800 words of lore in like half an hour #and i cant write i two page essay #:P

[doodleybugg]

The fact I'm still 4'11 at 17

I look, sound, act, type, and eat like a fuckin child omg

looks: I dress in either all pink or all black or a mix of both because they're pretty fuckin colours, I had a mental breakdown in November so I shaved my head, there's bruises everywhere that I can't remember how I get ohhhhh jzbajbsj, and did I mention in still fucing shorrt?

sound: my voice is high and squeaky what else is there to explain

act: pLSW I'm the most childish piece of shit ever, I hold grudges till my hands are shaky and omg, I like climbin stuff but it's MOSTLY like cupboards cuz EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY IS TALL THEY PUT EVERYTHING ON THE TOP SHELFFFF, I showed for too long, I pour and I sleep cuddling a pillow eW

type: I physically type aaaaaaa or omgg or jsgdiahsjhsjsbdKSHDJZ more times a day than I smile 😤😤😤, also demonize omg

eat: my diet literally consist of a cup of tea in the morning with way too much sugar, a cigarette on the off days where my head hurts and my thoughts just needa chill, maybe a pixie stick for lunch but that's ittttt

In conclusion, am child, treat with care

[whumpmatsus]

Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!

And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺

FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu

Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3

second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3

-

When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.

All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.

There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.

He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.

Then he starts to remember things.

He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.

Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.

They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.

It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.

He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.

Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.

He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.

A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”

“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”

It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”

He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”

“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”

Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”

“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”

She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”

“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”

Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?

Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”

She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.

“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”

“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”

-

Coming home is kind of weird.

Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.

Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.

Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.

The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.

He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.

His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.

It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.

Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.

He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.

There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”

“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”

Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”

His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”

“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.

Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”

Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”

“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…

Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”

It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.

His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.

His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.

“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.

He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”

The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.

He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”

Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.

It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”

“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”

Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”

-

After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.

He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.

Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.

Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.

Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”

“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”

“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”

“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”

Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”

“Mh. I hope so.”

“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”

Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”

A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.

After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”

“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”

“― My leg itches.”

“O-oh. So… scratch it??”

He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”

“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.

After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”

Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”

Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”

“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.

“Heh, no problem. All good now?”

“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”

Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”

His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.

He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”

His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”

“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”

“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”

He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”

“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”

“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”

He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.

-

When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.

As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.

He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.

“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”

“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”

“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”

“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”

Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.

He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.

A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”

Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”

“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”

With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.

Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.

It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”

He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.

“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”

“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”

“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”

The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”

Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”

“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”

-

True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.

All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.

After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.

Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.

He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”

Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”

Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”

“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”

Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”

… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.

They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”

“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”

Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”

Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”

“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”

He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”

“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”

He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.

Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”

Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”

Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.

-

Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.

Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.

When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…

… Oh.

He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”

His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”

“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.

He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.

He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”

Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”

Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”

Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”

He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”

The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”

“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”

Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”

An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.

Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”

“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”

He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”

“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.

They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.

Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.

Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.

It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.

He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?

He thinks this is the reason.

Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…

… For once, he’s happy to be alive.

#Osomatsu san #whump #Ichimatsu #Allmatsu #Iromatsu #Nenchuumatsu #Suujimatsu #Parkamatsu #110matsu #car accident #broken bones #medication #caretaking #HEY LOOK AT THESE AWESOME BROTHERS BEING AWESOME #SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF......... #PLS ENJOY THE FOOD <3