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#this song and band are so important to me I'm so happy i got to use it for them <3
steamclouds · 6 months
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"And I feel your warmth and it feels like home"
My very first comic, based on the song "Here is the House" by Depeche Mode
The South Downs ending that they deserve :')
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angeltism · 2 months
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I'm so normal abt Gho.st (the band)
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swaggy-skeletons · 10 months
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recently i have discovered that other people listen to the crane wives and are also very deranged about them so if you see me talking about/reblogging lots of posts about the crane wives that's why
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got-ticket-to-ride · 4 months
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Wanted to know your thoughts on this, but for what I've reading on John it really looks to me he really got worse post Paul and post Beatles, like his saddest songs match the moment he started to have issues with Paul, he wasn't really having much contact with anyone outside Yoko, he wasn't doing much music, he wasn't being that funny either, he even died without being able to fully overcome his heroine addiction (addiction that started in the Beatles fall out right?), and idk i believe his involvement in the whole peace/art movement looked more like an escape (like some people do with religion) than actual interest.
So what you think, was John at his worst after he got out the band and cut his relationship with Paul or was it was always like that?
Hello @lord-pain
thank you for this ask! I hope I'll make sense. I think the White Album was definitely the start of John's "sad songs". Happiness is a Warm Gun, Yer Blues. Subsequently, Dig a Pony sounded so desperate to me and Because which is yeah, post India, post breakup?
There's so many different accounts during that period. Some narrators might be unreliable because you never know who these "historians/journalist/"acquaintances" have their allegiance to.
During the 70s it was said that John was miserable, became a violent drunk (who believed in astrology). He was quite unhappy with how things turned out in his life due to his choices but he was too proud to admit it.
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About drugs, Fred Seaman said John stopped with heroin in the last half of the 70s in this video.
Due to differing accounts that are out there, I just concentrate on John, what he wrote lyrically and how clearheaded he was during his last interview. He was trying to be better. I think that is the most important detail despite everything that went down. Also the part where he was going to work with Ringo and had booked a studio with Paul for January 1981.
His activism was partly a distraction for him. Beatle John dabbled in it, but he became very aggressive about politics after the break up. He was anti-religion when he released Imagine (1971). But went back to believing in god when he wrote "Grow Old With Me" (1979?), which I have so much thoughts about but I haven't even had the courage to voice out.
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While there are glimpses of John's mental anxiety visible in his song "Help!" (1965)
"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down, and I do appreciate you being 'round",
he was trying to be positive about it as seen in "Strawberry Fields Forever" (1966):
"It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out, It doesn't matter much to me".
And was still holding on during the conception of "Across the Universe" (in February 1968) with his mantra:
"Nothing's gonna change my world",
which I think might've been a result of Paul's engagement in December 1967 to Jane.
Across the Universe (February 1968) > believer God (1970) > anti-religion Imagine (1971) > anti-religion (he made a satire song which I did not include here) Grow Old With Me (1979) > believer
During his alleged break from music from 1975, he was still making home demos and was writing Skywriting by Word of Mouth.
I think John and Paul being apart was just not good for them. The general opinion was that Paul left John and had moved on. (I don't believe that's true). It was John who made the decision to leave, it was this push and pull thing, and Paul continued to reach out to him (and we don't know what happened during all those times they've met up). Some accounts say that John was practically begging for a reunion but then again Paul never stopped reaching out to John (see 1976) so I personally think, regardless of all these details that are out in the open, there is still a missing piece we have not considered yet and that can only be told by Paul himself.
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To summarize it, John probably had depression (since his teenage years) but Paul was a constant positive thing in his life that he needed and that had helped him through it, "the girl who came to stay" until something happened...
John Lennon was definitely at his worst without his buddies by his side in the 70s.
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alovesreading · 6 months
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Constant Repeat | Part 17
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 36k
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N: This took me way too long and I'm so very sorry but it's officially the longest chapter of this series and I hope it's worth the wait. Had a bit of this written for a while and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it with you all, it's one of my favourite moments in this story. Thank you so much for your patience and your constant love, I truly appreciate it and I'm sending all the love to you guys. Hope you enjoy!!!! xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |
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Bonnaroo was always good to her. Being home, spending time with her sister and her best friend, seeing her parents and just enjoying life in her hometown always filled her with the rawest, and most exhilarating amount of happiness. But this year, the Monkeys would come along and that was a promise of an even better time.
Ever since the very first time they attended the festival, Ella and Lily took their mother's car and their friends would go on the backseats, all of them screaming together the lyrics of whichever songs would play on the radio as they made their way to the festival grounds.
The chatter would grow loud as they parked and then put up their tents. Excitement bubbling up inside them, making them toss and turn all night until they gave up and decided to just drink and laugh outside on the grass until they noticed the time and had to crawl into their tents and pass out from exhaustion.
And it was no different this time around.
It was surreal how every time she went to the festival, Ella felt like she was sixteen again—finally attending the event and camping without parents so they could finally get shit-faced and high without having to worry about being caught by their parents—only this time the ache in the bones and their lower backs reminded them that they were approaching their late 20s.
Still, they enjoyed every day of the festival like it'd be their last.
Ella was joined by her sister Lily and Jayne, her best friend, who had brought her fiance, Lewis, alongside with her. Lewis had been coming along for a fair few years then, instantly earning the Hayes sisters approval after he had joined them for the first time, and he was always very enthusiastic about the tradition.
The first day of the festival was incredible as per usual. Everyone in attendance was high on energy and ready for the long four days that awaited them, the crowds screaming along and cheering for the acts, the air filled with the scent of weed and nicotine, people dancing and singing, flags waving in the air.
Ella would sigh and smile brightly every five minutes. So good to be home, she thought at the sight of muddy cowboy boots and beer filled cups.
The group went around the different stages, enjoying the music with Tennessee whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
And that same thing happened every single day.
On day two they'd enjoyed watching bands like CHVRCHES and Vampire Weekend, stuffing their faces with Mexican food until they had to sit down to recharge their energy.
Day three had been when they saw Cage The Elephant, Damon Alabarn—who Ella and Lily had gone crazy upon seeing so close. If Alex thought Ella had gone insane when she called him after seeing that cover of the NME magazine where he stood beside the Blur and Gorillaz lead singer, he would've thought she had gone fully mad at the festival. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds had been another highlight of the Saturday and the great Jack White had been the one to close the day.
Saturday had been a long day but despite the exhaustion that exuded from the group as they walked back to their car and tents, Ella was still buzzing with energy. The sole reason for the evaporation of her tiredness and the rush of adrenaline that surged through her was the knowledge that the Monkeys were on their way there and would be in the same place as her in the morning.
There had been a skip in her step and she was humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath as she walked with her sister to the Plaza to take a shower. And Lily had frowned at her the whole time because not even when they got back to their tents, and they watched Jayne and Lewis leave for the showers, did the director show any signs of being worn out by the long day and wanting to rest.
"G'night weirdo." Lily said to her sister as she went inside her tent.
She winced when Ella replied, "Night! Love you!" in an obnoxiously chipper tone to have at almost two in the morning.
After smoking a cigarette to calm herself down, Ella went inside her tent and tossed and turned all night until she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembered before succumbing to her slumber was her phone screen flashing a quarter to four in the morning.
Regardless of how little she'd slept, Ella still sprung out of her sleeping bag at around eight in the morning. A little over four hours of sleep was all she'd gotten, and yet it was as if she'd had the longest sleep of her life from how energized she was—she looked like a pinball going from one place to the other and getting ready as quickly as she could to go see if the band had gotten there already.
Ella called Bre a handful of times as she brushed her teeth and did her skin care, muttering profanities every time her calls went to voicemail. She knew she was being awful, blasting her best friend's phone so early in the morning but she was too eager to see them all again, she just couldn't help herself.
Finally, when Ella was power walking back from the Plaza to her tent, Bre picked up the phone and Ella greeted her with a screech and a hasty, "Where are you guys?! Have you arrived yet?!"
When Bre confirmed that the tour bus was parked by the artist's area, Ella ran the rest of the way back to where they had set up camp. After hastily dropping everything inside her bag, she set off with Bre still on the phone to try and find each other.
It took them about twenty minutes to do so, after a lot of chaos heard through the phone and Bre getting lost a few times, and when Ella managed to see the model from afar, a knot formed in her throat.
Tears spilled down her face as she ran towards Bre and when they finally collided into each other's arms, almost falling in the process from how hard they'd bumped into the other, it all felt right again.
They swayed in each other's arms, sniffling from the emotion that overcame them, and it was Ella who pulled back and swallowed a sob to shout softly, "You're engaged!"
"I know!" Bre said in the same volume, breathlessly, still unable to wrap her head around the fact that Matt had gotten down on one knee as they walked down the streets of Amsterdam and proposed to her.
"What the fuck?!" Ella whisper-shouted, looking down at Bre's left hand and her eyes went wide at the sight of the big diamond ring, "Holy shit, that's a rock!"
"I fucking know!!" Bre repeated herself, the state of shock that had bathed her for the past six days made her giggle though.
The model threw herself in the arms of the director again, enjoying having her best friend back again, sighing in bliss and frankly saying, "I missed you."
"Missed you more babe." Ella replied easily, "So much." She could feel even more tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill, she had to close her eyes harshly so as not to become a mess of tears.
The second she closed her eyes, Ella missed the sight of a disheveled Alex who came out of the tour bus rubbing his eyes with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, dressed in a white shirt and some grey joggers.
It was Alex who noticed her first, managing to blink a few times until he was decently awake. Enough for him to see a face he'd been yearning to see up close for too long.
He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth in a haste, shoving it inside the pocket of his joggers before letting out a breathy, "Ella?" that made her open her eyes in a split second.
Ella felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs, a mere squeak coming from her before she let go of Breana and moved towards Alex.
The singer was faster than her, like a magnetic pull had made him dash up to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and lifting her up the ground as he hugged her. Her legs instinctively went around his waist, her arms clutching him impossibly tight over his shoulders, almost like she wanted to become one with him and never be teared away from him.
"Oh god." Ella muttered in between tears, trying to keep her emotions at bay seemed like an impossible task then when being in Alex's arms brought back all that she'd been missing the past month and a half.
"Darling." Alex whispered in her ear, a mix of relief and hurt that she understood so well. "Fuck, I missed you so much." He added as he inhaled her scent, letting himself indulge in the feeling of her wrapped all around him.
God had he fucking missed her.
"Me too." Ella sniffled as she said, her words coming out broken as she tried not to audibly cry.
Alex went to put her down and pull back to calm her down but she held on tighter, like a koala, shaking her head softly as she pleaded, "No, stay a little longer."
They stayed like that for a few more seconds, until Ella started slipping down despite Alex's tight grasp on the back of her thighs. She let herself stand back up, slowly peeling herself off Alex to finally see his face and she cooed at the sight of his bedhead and his puffy eyes.
"Awh, sweets. Did you just wake up?" She brushed his hair back softly, trying to tame the strands of hair that fell all over his forehead and tickled the lids of his eyes.
He hummed in confirmation, his cheeks tinting a subtle pink that didn't go unnoticed by her. She giggled under her breath and he brought his right hand to her waist to pinch her flesh softly to scold her for laughing at him.
"How've you been? Has the festival been good so far?" Alex changed the topic, his eyes catching Bre with a smirk on her face closely watching the scene unfold in front of her.
Just as Ella nodded and corrected his wording by saying, "Amazing." Alex watched as Breana winked at him and left for the bus, possibly going back inside the vehicle to wake her fiance up.
Alex was relieved to be alone with Ella just as the girl added, "But it just got a thousand times better."
He could freely smile like an absolute idiot and dip down to press a bunch of kisses all over her face as he mumbled, "Aren't you cute?" He could hear the twang of her southern accent weaving around her words and it was doing things to him.
Ella giggled stupidly as he attacked her face with short sweet pecks, the apples of her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling by the time he ended up kissing down her jaw and left one last kiss on the side of her neck before he stated, "Love you."
"Love you too." She reciprocated, letting her arms cross around the back of his neck, fingers going up to his hair and his eyes fluttered at the feeling of her nails scratching softly on his scalp.
"God, I missed you." His words came out like a groan, one that reverberated against her chest and awoke a fire that she'd been trying to keep contained for the past few months. A fire that she had been trying to ignore, like the wind could sizzle down the flames until they dropped to a few agonizing sparks all on its own.
Ella couldn't not admit, "Missed you more."
But Alex shook his head to prove his point, "Impossible."
Nothing could compare anymore. After coming to terms with how he truly felt about Ella, it was like he was burning up alive at that very moment, wanting nothing more than to scream it out for everyone to hear—how it was only her, how badly he wanted to just be able to kiss her and hold her and never have to be away from her, as selfish as that sounded.
"Where are the rest of the guys?" Ella asked once she pulled back from the hug, snapping Alex out of his trance. She could see the way he looked at her and it was making her knees weak.
Does he realize the way he's looking at me? She thought, wanting to tell him to stop and have some mercy on her heart. She could only bear so much.
Clearing her throat, she made a stupid question to which she already knew the answer to, "Kelly and Katie came along, yeah?"
Alex still nodded, despite knowing that Ella had been on facetime with the two a few days before and just talking about how much fun it'd be once they got to see each other again. "Mhm. They're still asleep."
Ella was about to wince and apologize for coming by so early when a familiar voice rang behind her saying, "Yeah not me."
She turned around quickly and a massive smile appeared back on her face, rushing towards the drummer to hug him and cheer about the latest news, "Helders! Congratulations!"
"Ah, thanks Ellie." He said back, leaving a kiss on her temple and then pulling away to ask, "How's it going?"
"Great! Good to have y'all home." Her stomach flipped just by saying that aloud, like it made it even more real and she couldn't believe it. She had to hold back from pinching herself just in case she was dreaming.
Matt raised his brows at the way she was smiling, gently elbowing her to point out, "Looks like you're up to no good with us here now."
It was then that her sweet smile changed to a smirk, one that didn't match the raise of her hands as if declaring innocence while she promised, "Me? Nooooo. I'm just tryna make sure y'all have the best time over here."
Right then, Bre appeared back at the door of the tour bus and waved Ella over, leaving her fiance to not be able to scoop anything out of Ella about what she had been planning for them now that they were in her hometown.
With a skip in her step, Ella made way to the bus and followed Bre inside. They softly walked into the lounge and sat in the black leather settee, whispering as they started to chat so that they wouldn't wake the rest of the group up.
However, when Matt and Alex walked back inside and they joined the two girls in the lounge, their volume got louder and it ended up waking everyone up.
Nick was the first to come out to the lounge, rubbing his eyes until he saw Ella sitting there with Alex's arm draped over her shoulders and he froze in his place only to quickly walk up to her and hug her tightly.
Just as Ella was about to ask about Kelly, the pregnant woman came out wobbling her way down the slim hallway. Her face lit up when she saw the American girl there with them after so long. Ella, of course cried when she hugged her and saw the amount that her bump had grown. It was so mental to think that Kelly was already five months along.
Jamie and Katie came out of the bunk area twenty minutes later, actually looking ready for the day unlike everyone else in the lounge.
"When are you gonna make me an auntie then?" Ella said teasingly after hugging the couple, congratulating them properly for their marriage then, and shedding some more tears over the love she had for them.
"Don't." Alex warned as he shook his head, "They're already horrendous. Don't encourage them."
Laughter filled the room at the despair the singer let shine through his words. Alex was so happy to hear Ella's laugh right by his ear again, having her lean into him as she giggled, her hand coming to squeeze his thigh softly and leaving her warm touch there until she inevitably moved.
Ella's phone rang loudly interrupting their conversation, and when she saw that it was her sister and that it was nearly eleven in the morning, she let out a gasp. Excusing herself to answer the phone, Ella walked out of the bus.
Alex didn't even think twice before getting up from his seat and following her, grabbing a cigarette pack from the table and a lighter to take with him.
"Yeah, I know." He heard Ella say to her sister on the phone, "Just get ready and I'll be there in a bit. I'm gonna get you the passes and we can pack up before coming here so we're ready to leave tonight."
His steps were quiet as he approached her so Ella didn't know he was there until she felt his touch on her waist. He had the cigarette he'd pocketed earlier between his lips and offered Ella the open packet so that she could take one for herself.
"Thanks." Ella mumbled softly, taking the cigarette up to her mouth and letting Alex light it up for her. She gave him a sweet smile after she took the first drag, her expression changing in a split second when she heard her sister complaining on the other side of the phone, "Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be dramatic! Just get your stuff and I'll deal with mine, thanks. Stop being such a bitch, live a little!"
Alex chuckled, this sassy side of her wasn't something he saw often and he fucking loved it. He loved her. He sighed in bliss at the feeling washing over him, feeling her skin under his fingertips and watching her just existing was everything to him.
"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Ella scolded with an eye roll, "I'll be there in a bit, stop complaining. One will think you actually miss me when I'm gone." She taunted her sister who only scoffed in response. "Okay, give me five minutes. Bye bitch."
Alex had his brows raised as she ended the call and she was met with him holding back his laughter when she turned to the side.
"She's impatient, okay?" Ella excused her word choice, "She's complaining about me being late on my way back and her having to pack up my stuff. Which won't happen at all, 'cause I'm literally going back in a bit!"
Alex only hummed, siding with her, and Ella smiled at the confirmation that she was correct. "Want me to bring you the passes? Steve left them somewhere in the lounge."
She nodded, knowing it would only be a matter of time before her sister started blowing up her phone again. "Please? The quicker I go back, the sooner I can be back here."
The smile that pulled at the corners of Alex's mouth was intoxicating and the way he squeezed her waist before going back in the bus made her knees weak. Ella almost choked on the smoke she was inhaling as she watched him walk away, the rising sun already harshly hitting her skin wasn't helping her calm down.
She fanned herself with both of her hands, letting out a long sigh and she closed her eyes for a few seconds just thinking about how long the day would be. Yet, she was so incredibly excited for everything that it would bring.
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Just before her sister could start annoying her all over again, Ella managed to arrive back to where they'd been camping. In a haste, she got properly ready for the day, doing her makeup quickly and packing away her things to throw in the boot of her mom's car before turning back to undo her tent and help organize everything in the car.
It was by noon that everything was secured away in the car, ready to leave once the festival was over. They placed the lanyards with their AAA passes around their necks—Ella hanging the strap of her camera around her neck as well—and walked the way back to where the Monkeys were at.
Surreal was how Ella would describe introducing Lily, Jayne and Lewis to the band, two different sides of her life colliding and her heart was soaring at the sight. The fact that they blended in together nicely and the group was enjoying themselves assured Ella's smile to never leave her face.
They spent a good part of the start of the day drinking and eating by the artist's tents, watching the way that the band's crew went about making sure everything was fine and ready to set up later, chatting and laughing as they got to know each other more.
Ella had been drinking whiskey and coke, taking leisurely sips while she heard Jayne's horror stories as a nurse which the lads had been enjoying so much, they managed to get her to share loads of her worst experiences.
"No, trust me, you don't wanna know how we ended up taking that out." Jayne winced as she recalled, visibly shivering at the memory.
The group groaned in unison, making Ella laugh despite being disgusted herself. She went to take the last of her drink, she barely took a sip before her cup was empty. She turned to Alex to signal that she was gonna get a refill, the singer nodding and actually going with her.
Quite a lot of people were gathered around the place so getting to order took a bit of waiting. A few minutes that Ella took to snap a few pictures. One or two of her surroundings and the last one of Alex, who posed with a hand on his hip and a big smile on his face for her.
Alex watched in adoration as she pushed the lever and then turned off the camera to let it rest against her stomach again, Ella's face was glowing under the sun but it wasn't because of the faint sheet of sweat that was starting to coat her skin thanks to the weather, more because of how incredibly happy she was at that moment.
If he couldn't find it in himself to tell her everything just yet, then he could at least share with her something that he'd been keeping to himself for the past month.
"I've got news." He whispered in her ear after snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.
"Oh?" She perked up and turned to see him, "What is it? You gonna share with everyone?" She was certainly intrigued by the look on his face, and she was thinking of just getting another drink later so that they could go back to the group and he could tell everyone.
But he surprised her by shaking his head, plainly stating, "Just you for now."
Ella wasn't going to admit the way her heart leapt from her chest at the mysteriousness of it all. She prayed he couldn't hear the loudness of her erratic heartbeat and that it wouldn't show on her face how hard she was trying not to anticipate something that he couldn't give her. Her subconscious hoped for a combination of words that made her want to yell at herself, feeling pathetic when the spark of hope made her stomach flip.
She forced it all aside, trying to act cool as she played with her choice of words, "Oh, right. What have you done, Turner?" She crossed her arms, adding a bit of distance in between them, her brow raising as if challenging him for an answer.
"Got a house in Los Angeles."
He was grinning already as he said that but watching how her jaw dropped at the news had him giving the Cheshire cat some competition.
After a few beats of silence, a very delayed gasp and a loud, "What?!" came from her.
All his big smile would allow for was a soft mumbled "Yeah..." that only awoke a million questions in her mind.
"When? How? Where?" She lets them all spill in a split second, a mush of words confusing enough to make the singer giggle.
Ella watched him, expectant for answers, so much going through her head that she really needed the bartender to hurry up and get to her.
He rested his beer bottle on the top of a table they were standing by, turning it around in its place as he explained, "I didn't go with them that time, to that amusement park. Instead, I got in touch with Matt's estate agent and started working with her and she found me a bunch of options, but I ended up settling down for one a few minutes away from Helders."
"Are you joking?" She had to ask just to make sure, as if there was a possibility of Alex joking about such a thing.
"Why would I be?" He quipped back, brows furrowing for a split second before his grin won over again and made his frown loosen up. His hand was still placed on her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that showed as her shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. "They accepted my offer last week and they're finalizing a few things before we sign and we close the sale. So I'm getting the house before the end of the month."
Ella was still frozen in place, though her arms had fallen limp at her sides after the shock of the initial revelation. His relentless, yet delicate touch was the only thing that reminded her that time was still moving forward, so she managed to let out, "You're moving in by the end of the month?" entirely in disbelief.
He was really enjoying this, despite the fact that he was trying hard to decipher all that was going through her, grin unwavering on his lips as he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal. "If all goes well."
Like a switch had been flipped, it suddenly clicked inside her mind that it was real, she couldn't help but whisper-shout, "Shut up. Shut up!" before throwing her arms around his neck and mumbling in his ear, "Holy shit Alex!!"
"You happy?" Alex asked, pathetically really. He wanted to kick himself for asking, he was being so fucking transparent but he just couldn't help it.
"Of course I am! I–" She hastily said as she pulled back to see his face, that toothy grin still on his face and it melted her insides, "What the fuck?! Congratulations!"
She enveloped him in a hug again, he clutched her tightly as whispered in her ear, "Thank you darling." A squeak came from her in response, eliciting giggles from him.
"Won't be getting rid of me now." He joked, it seemed lighthearted but god did he know he wouldn't want to leave her side if they were going to be living in the same city.
"I fucking know." Ella replied, and it sounded like relief was wrapped around her words. Alex's heart leapt from his chest when she breathlessly added after she pulled back, "That better be a promise, sweetness."
"It is." He nodded softly, staring right into those gorgeous hazel green eyes of hers. "'Course it is."
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Less than a minute after Ella had finished freaking out about the news Alex had given her, the man behind the bar had taken her order and given her a new drink.
Walking back to where the group was, Ella's head was a tornado of a million thoughts. Her throat was dry and her stomach flipped thinking about how Alex would be just less than an hour away, no oceans in between to keep her away from exploring a place in her heart that she'd been avoiding, all of those threads of thoughts that she'd been shoving aside.
It felt so real then, everything he made her feel, every thought he sparked in her mind just by being. There were no excuses that she could hide herself behind anymore, and she was honestly terrified by the inevitability of it all.
She started feeling nauseous, all because of how every thought would cause her stomach to do somersaults and butterflies swirled every corner inside her. Ella was stiff in her place and struggling to focus and get absorbed back into the conversation, and it didn't go unnoticed by Alex.
With ease, his right hand came to rest on her lower back and delicately he let his touch drag until his fingers clutched onto her waist, leaving goosebumps to break on her skin in his wake. A step to his right so her shoulder brushed against his chest, the proximity now letting him rest his chin on her shoulder and ask in a whisper if she was alright.
She turned her head to the left and was met with his face just a few inches away from hers, their breaths mixing together in between their parted mouths and she could only nod. She turned back around, looking forward in an attempt to focus on the conversation that flowed in the group again. Her throat had gone dry so she took a sip of her drink, and another one, and another one. Until the alcohol in her system and the warmth of Alex's touch made her head light and fuzzy and she relaxed on him, her back falling nicely to rest against his chest.
Alex smiled when he felt her finally relax, unable to hold himself back from leaving a kiss on her temple. His lips pressed on her skin for a good few seconds, inhaling her scent and trying really hard not to close his eyes and stupidly hum in bliss in front of everyone. It would be too obvious, but it wasn't like he wasn't being entirely transparent thus far.
Everyone could see it so clearly and, though the band had gotten used to the pair acting that way, Lily and Jayne were the ones to exchange knowing looks every passing minute when they watched all that Ella and Alex silently did.
Breana had caught onto their looks and when the crew of the band had called them up to give them their in-ears and get them ready for stage, the model walked up to them with a knowing smirk and let them know, "They're always like that." When the two girls raised their brows as if silently asking 'really?', Bre nodded, "I know, they're insufferably oblivious. But just wait for them to get drunk, they get worse."
And that, Lily and Jayne were eager to see. But first, the Monkeys had to go on stage and perform to the sea of people that were cheering for them to come out on stage.
Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads' crew to take a picture of them all.
She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.
When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.
She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.
There wasn't even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he'd just done.
A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she'd love.
"How do I look?" Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.
"Like you were meant to be a cowboy." She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.
Not that it wasn't obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, "Do I?"
Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn't come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.
Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn't need to be fixed, Ella hummed, "Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots." Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, "Though those chelsea boots you've got on work well."
Alex couldn't bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, "Right, stop flirting with me."
In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn't a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, "I'm not–" that she interrupted to just tell him to "Shut up!" as she playfully shoved him away from her.
"Joking! I'm joking!" He said loudly in between laughter, she didn't want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.
Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.
Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, "You can flirt with me all you want."
Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.
Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.
She couldn't really dwell on her lack of thought or words though, because the guys were taken to wait by the stairs on the left side of the stage that would bring them right onto the stage in a few minutes. All the while, Ella was snatched away by the girls and Lewis who were being escorted to the other side of the stage where they'd be taken up to the balcony.
When they were settled there, Ella was blown away by the perfect view of the stage and the enormous crowd in front of the stage, all enduring the merciless sting of the sun to sing along to the songs the Monkeys were gonna perform for them. Lily, Jayne and Lewis were just as thrown aback by the scene.
There was no time to really process the moment, that Alex and the guys were headlining the festival she'd always known, that they'd be part of a tradition that very much defined a huge part of her life; because the lads walked into the stage and the roaring cheers of the crowd, filled the group on the balcony with adrenaline that was only heightened when, after Alex greeted the crowd and introduced themselves, the strums of the guitar for the start of 'Do I Wanna Know?' broke through the speakers.
After joining the dots about the song back in May, hearing it ignited a spark that burned her insides. Her chest felt like it was on fire whenever she heard him sing the lines she now knew he'd written with her in mind.
But hearing it live, the bass shaking her bones just as much as each word he sang in that voice of his that made her knees weak, was so much different. It felt like something inside her shifted, an impatience poking at every one of her nerve endings, one that longed for something she had no idea how to start, how to bring up.
She thought it was so obvious what she was thinking about, the hope for it all to move along shining on her face and a dust of pink flush rushing to her cheeks whenever he made eye contact with her throughout the song.
The fact that 'Snap Out Of It' followed as the second song they were performing didn't help either. Knowing explicitly from Alex himself that the song had been written about her made her stomach flip, every rasp of his voice made her want to sink to her knees on the floor. Thinking about Alex being jealous and writing the song about her when she was in another relationship made her bite her bottom lip not to smile like a fool.
Slowly, Ella was getting her hopes up and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. Would she be brave enough to do something about it? She had no idea and she didn't want to think about it. Focusing back on dancing and singing along with the girls, she willed herself to worry about the what-ifs later.
It seemed like Alex had gone for the kill when he went to introduce the third song, Ella's heart exploded in her chest when he walked up to the microphone and strummed his guitar once before telling the crowd, "Bonnaroo, I gotta tell you about a girl named Arabella!"
He made it seem like his finger pointing to the right side of the stage, where the group was enjoying the gig from, was entirely accidental but Bre, Katie and Kelly squeaked knowing what Alex had really tried to do. After all, they knew the song was about Ella, and Bre made sure to tell Lily, Jayne and Lewis about it with a brief and yelled aloud, "This one is about her!"
Ella's cheeks tinted bright pink when the trio stared at her with their mouths agape. It really was a valuable piece of information that they couldn't believe Ella hadn't shared and Lily knew then that she'd need to properly shower her with a million questions because Ella was hiding more than she'd imagined. She thought her sister had a crush and she was just then witnessing how it seemed reciprocated but the fact that she had a song written about her—such a song as well—genuinely shocked her. There was so much more Lily didn't know of and she hoped Jayne would help her interrogate her sister.
The alcohol in her system helped Ella let loose, dancing with the girls and loudly singing along, her chest puffed out like it filled her with pride that such a good song was one she was the muse for.
She watched as Alex snatched the mic from the stand and walked over the their side, her mouth moved as she sang but her breath hitched in her throat and she stopped being able to follow along when he went down on one knee and pointed at her as he sang, "Baby she's a modern lover, it's an exploration, she's made of outer space."
Jayne gasped beside her, loudly approving with a "Yes, Alex!" that fully flew over Ella's head when she watched Alex stand up and this time turn to the crowd to continue singing, "Her fucking lips are like the galaxy's edge, and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place."
She couldn't deny she wasn't loving it, the clear signs only fed her and she just couldn't wait to have him walk off stage so she could throw herself in his arms. Her lips almost tingled with the need to kiss her and right that second she couldn't care less about messing things up or complicated them, she just wanted to kiss him.
After 'Arabella' came 'Brianstorm' and what no one but the band knew, 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair' was meant to follow. Matt had been the one to put together the setlist so 'Teddy Picker' hadn't been placed anywhere in it, and Alex had only noticed before walking on stage when someone from their crew showed them a copy of the setlist before going up on stage and securing it with tape on the floor.
Alex couldn't play in Ella's hometown, in a festival that meant so much to her, and not perform her favorite song. So he had made sure to tell the lads they were changing the fifth song for 'Teddy Picker'.
Still, just in case they had forgotten, he had taken a second to make sure they all knew it was coming after they finished 'Brianstorm'. Thanks to the loud cheering from the crowd, the group up on the balcony didn't hear Alex loudly saying, "Teddy next, yeah?" to Matt first as he sipped on his beer and then turning to Jamie and Nick mouthing, "Teddy Picker" so that they knew exactly what to do.
The second the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, Ella screeched at the sign of her favorite starting. She enjoyed every second of it like she hadn't before and when the song was over, she made sure to blow Alex a kiss as a thank you. She swooned internally when he made a ruse of catching it in the air, and pressing it to his heart before blowing a kiss back to her.
So many feelings rushed through her that she felt like she was weightless as she danced. Each line that she sang along to with her friends and sister felt so much more fulfilling in the setting they were in.
Alex took over the stage like it was the place he was meant to be all along, smoothly and entrancing, his voice keeping everyone hypnotized and singing along at the top of their lungs. The crowd swayed like the ocean along the tunes that the band was effortlessly playing, their volume rising when they played 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'.
The crowd slowed down when they started playing 'She's Thunderstorms' and Ella was entirely bewitched by him, his voice ringing in her ears and lulling her every sense. All she could think, see, hear, was him. The beating of her heart grew erratic and her breath caught in her throat when Alex turned to the right side of the stage and looked up at her as he sang, "She's been loop-the-looping around my mind / Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of / Acrobatic blood, concertina / Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire."
When the song died down by its end, Ella was struggling to keep herself together. So when 'No.1 Party Anthem' started, a wave of memories flooded Ella's mind with such force that just let the tears that had gathered in her waterline roll down her cheeks with ease. She was so emotional, sniffling as she sang along while Breana hugged her from behind over her shoulders. All Ella could think about though, was running into Alex's arms and just staying there for the rest of the night.
Thankfully, the next three songs picked her mood up and got her dancing again. Tears were wiped and dried on her cheeks as she danced with the girls, giggling and loudly singing along, enjoying every second left on the band's set.
The second to last song being 'I Wanna Be Yours' pushed her back into an emotional state though. This time around he stole a glance at her as he strummed his guitar by the beginning, when his hand wrapped delicately around the microphone on its stand and he started singing, he kept his eyes closed as if feeling every word in his soul the whole time.
She watched as he lost himself in every line and she selfishly wished he had opened his eyes and looked at her, how she was reciting each word with conviction but it was so much more than repeating the words she knew so well. It was so much more than being a good member of the crowd and proudly singing along with him.
It all was making so much sense to her, and it scared her but she was starting to run out of places to escape from her feelings, denial slipping away from her fingers to protect her.
'R U Mine?' was the last on the setlist and it was mesmerizing to see every time how it brought together the show and it left the crowd with an indescribable high rushing through their bloodstream.
Ella stared intently at every single move Alex would make, her gaze transfixed on the ease in which his fingers moved along the neck of his guitar and the way his hips would move along to the song.
She was almost drooling at the sight of it all and when the song was over and the band bid the crowd farewell, she dashed down the balcony stairs and the ones on the side of the stage to meet the guys again on the grass.
A soft, "Oof" stumbled past Alex's lips when Ella thudded against his back. Her arms wrapping around his shoulder and the fact that she jumped made him automatically hold the backs of her thighs so he held her in a piggy back ride.
"Y'all are amazing!" She exclaimed before leaving a loud wet kiss on the side of the singer's face.
She let herself fall back to stand on the ground, just as he giggled in response to the sudden affection. "You enjoyed that set darling?" He asked with the sweetest smile on his face, eyes a twinkling brown honey under the bright sun that captured her every sense.
Ella hummed with an eager nod of her head, coming to stand beside him, "Loved it. T'was so good!" She assured before wrapping her arms around his waist, humming in content as his left arm wrapped around her frame tightly and kept her flush against him.
He cooed under his breath and leaned into her to drop a kiss on her temple, mumbling a sweet, "So glad you did, darling." against her skin.
When the group caught up to them, Breana teased Ella for running away instead of waiting for them and after she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to her, the compliments for the band rained around.
They all eventually agreed to go back to the artist area to get some drinks and then go out to listen to some good music around the different stages. But, even though they were moving hastily around the place to enjoy the last few hours of the festival, Ella and Alex never let the other go.
They were either holding hands or their arms would be wrapped around each other's waists, laughing in each other's ears or whispering around like high schoolers keeping secrets. But the unwavering touches were as if they tried to tell the other that they wouldn't go, they were planning on staying right there and the smiles which never left their faces were enough proof to know that was exactly how they wanted to stay.
Progressively, the pair got tipsy and it was then that Lily and Jayne realized that Breana hadn't been lying about them getting worse when alcohol was in their system. To anyone, it would look as if they were a couple and it was really confusing that they were nothing near it officially when they would act the way they did with each other.
Jayne was about to snatch Ella away to talk with her when she saw how Alex leaned into her and Ella let him close the distance between them, only their lips never met—their noses touched and they beamed at each other in a nauseatingly sweet show of affection that got even cuter when they mumbled 'love you' to each other before turning back around to focus on the conversation happening in front of them.
However, Lily kept the nurse in her place when she watched Ella make herself comfortable and hum in joy in Alex's arms, as he held her with his arms around her middle, her back pressed to his chest and his chin on her shoulder so he could always be inhaling her scent and kissing the skin that was available to him.
It wasn't time for any interrogations, Lily knew that. She and Jayne would have to wait to get answers later, even though the curiosity surely was eating them both alive.
They went around for a few hours before settling in the right side of the back of the crowd in front of the main stage, where Elton John would be performing soon so they figured settling down there and waiting would be a good idea.
A pretty good idea when Ella had a few joints to share with everyone as they sat on the grass to wait for the headline show.
With the alcohol already coursing through her veins, the weed made her relax a greater amount than she already was, melting into Alex's chest felt heavenly. His touch made her feverishly hot and she kept giggling and sighing over how good it felt. The tickling of his lingering touches on her waist, her thighs, her arms, her neck and shoulders, made her smile so big that her eyes kept closing.
Her eyes fluttered closed once more after taking one last hit of the third and last spliff that had gone around but despite her languid state, her brain remained awake and reeling with the images of that very day which seemed to be slipping through her fingers so fast and inevitably like water.
The flashing of the memories she had been making so far kept her grinning loopily in Alex's hold and, though everyone thought she looked silly and it was certainly amusing to see her fall asleep with such an expression, Alex's heart melted when he looked down and saw her so happy even in her slumber.
It really felt like she could easily sleep forever in Alex's arms, and when she thought of that, everything that her mind could focus on was the singer.
Alex felt Ella squirm a bit before relaxing back down, he couldn't hold back from dropping a kiss on the side of her face when she did that. He was pretty sure the corners of her lips twitched in a bigger smile at that for a split second before it relaxed to her loopy grin again once she sighed.
Her stomach fluttered with a million butterflies, her blood rushed through her veins with an increasing temperature that warmed every inch of her skin, every single one of her nerve endings tingled from his touch, her lips itched with the need to kiss him.
She really wanted to kiss him. But after hearing his news earlier that day, she knew that if she did she couldn't ignore that feeling she knew so well that kept growing inside her each day. She knew what it was and how long it had been since she had last felt it. And it was like it had come back so much stronger since it was snatched away from her the last time, ripped right off her chest along with her heart.
It scared her, it really did. Because the realization became clearer by the second and with it the ghosts that haunted her. But the notion was so loud and bright that the hope of it all ending up being okay, the hope of finally having a happy ending pushed close that door where her fears hid behind, slammed it close with a certainty that she felt foolish to have.
But the hopeful sparks shined brighter when she would make a joke and he'd pull her close so he could giggle against her skin. When he smoked and kept their fingers intertwined, fiddling with hers and her rings as he exhaled the smoke upwards. When he kept his touch anywhere on her body as they chatted about random shit, unwavering and burning her like he was branding her and she didn't want it any other way. When his eyes would never leave hers and knew exactly what she wanted without her uttering a word, he had gotten her a new drink or gone with her to get something to eat before she could even excuse herself to go on her own. When he posed for her every time she brought her camera up to her eyes, and when he would take it from her to take pictures of her, which he didn't have to beg for anymore as it was easier for her to let herself be captured by his vision.
And the ease in which it came to her this time was the thing that scared her to a certain extent. Because back at the start, she knew she didn't feel this strongly and yet she let herself go with the tide and eventually she'd drowned.
This time the waves crashed with force against the shore and it was scary and dangerous, but she wanted to take a dip in that treacherous ocean and let herself be swallowed by the waves because she'd waited so long and she had a growing faith that the tide would mellow down until she could just stay afloat in content forever. Warm water that would envelope her like an embrace that she would never want to leave, never want to lose.
It was loud and quiet, it echoed inside her and rumbled through her chest but also buzzed softly in the back of her mind like a reminder, like a faint memory that made her smile.
Alex. It was Alex and it was so clear. She loved him, she really did and it was inevitable. It was a long time coming and the realization was there and it was undeniable. It all had let up to this moment and it shook her ground but it was soft like an earthquake that you can find yourself waking up to but not scrambling for safety, because it felt as if she had always known. As if it had always been there but she'd finally recognized the shadow that hid away in the back of her mind, her heart, her soul.
Ella had no idea how much time had gone by, if five minutes of twenty, but her eyes peeled open and her ears suddenly caught up with the chatter going on around her. She sat up straighter and continued blinking away the remains of her sleepy haze, Alex looked down with a stupid grin on his face as she came back to reality.
"Good morning sunshine." He mumbled playfully, very much aware of the fact that the purple and pink hues of the sunset were enveloping them all.
Her smile grew at the sound of his voice and the sight of the beautiful colors that the sky was painted. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder and smiled up at him, "Hi. Did I sleep too long?"
He shook his head softly, "Not even ten minutes."
She hummed, a bit confused after losing grasp on time but she attributed it to him, "You're comfy."
A chuckle made his chest shake, "Good." He leaned in until his lips pressed on her cheek and he left a soft long kiss there, his hot exhale making her close her eyes and hum in content.
She loved him. She really fucking did. And those three words burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, wanting to savor the feeling for a bit before she could think about how and when to tell him.
And savor it she did. Every touch, every kiss, every time they sang to each other once Elton John walked on stage, every time he twirled her around only to pull her in until she crashed against his chest and he could keep her there.
When the encore started though, 'Your Song' was the one to send Ella into tears. Alex stood behind her when the legendary singer had walked back on stage, his arms over her shoulders and hands clasping over her chest. She was holding his wrists in place, rubbing circles on his skin which stopped when the notes of the piano hinted to a song Ella knew quite well and overwhelmed her after the conclusion she'd come to earlier.
Alex felt her shake in his hold so he dipped his face until he could hide in the crook of her neck. It was then that he felt her wet cheeks and heard her sniffles, he pouted and left a kiss on the side of her neck before whispering in her ear, "You alright darling? Don't cry."
Her head shook as she sniffled once more before she turned her face slightly and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Happy tears, I promise."
And they actually were. She was so beyond happy to have him there, home, with her and enjoying a bit of her that meant so much. She felt relieved to finally admit to herself just how intensely she felt for him, a weight lifting off her shoulders now that her fears became smaller and smaller when he was so damn sweet to her, when he was just him in all his glory.
But hearing that song at that very moment felt like a sign, one that held so much force that just pushed her to tears. If Ella had Alex's way with words, she was sure she could write endless ballads about everything he made her feel, a million poems about everything she would give him. Alas, she didn't and she had no idea how to make it justice. But that song made it seem so simple and it moved her deeply.
Is it really that simple? she thought, or is it too good to be true?
All she wanted to do was turn around and beg him to listen to every word and swear on everything that existed that she felt like that about him, that she loved him madly and that it had taken a while to get there but she had and she didn't know how much longer she could hold it—beg on her knees for him to feel the same if that's what it took.
"Don't be upset. I'm right here." Alex whispered back, snapping her out of her thoughts. His hand cupped her cheek and turned her face delicately to the side so he could wipe her tears, kissing her cheek when he was done.
"Yeah." She mumbled as she nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't go." She pleaded pathetically. It was stupid because she could just say it but a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden feeling of fear, the one that had held her back for so long.
Coward.
Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head and promised, "I won't."
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Suddenly, the fireworks had come alive and the last song of the night was over. Once Elton John had walked out of the stage, the screens turned into a written goodbye and a promise to see everyone next year.
As every year, it was hard to say goodbye. Those four days felt like they'd gone in a flash and it felt unfair every time since this was Ella's excuse to come home religiously, to steal her sister and her best friend away from responsibilities.
There was a cloud of sadness that hung in the air as they all walked back to the band's tour bus. The silver lining was that the guys were staying another day in town, though they hadn't planned anything explicitly with Ella. Ella had planned the day for them already though, and was just waiting to tell them.
It was when they got back to the large bus that the Monkeys offered to take Ella, Lily, Jayne and Lewis home. Ella declined politely since they had her mom's car there to go back home, but she told them then that her parents were expecting them all to come to their home to join them for a barbecue the next day. The director cheekily added that she had more plans for the night but she'd keep the surprise the longest she could.
The guys were wary of the invitation, due to the fact that they just couldn't leave the bus anywhere since they had to leave early on Tuesday and the fact that there were so many of them and they didn't wanna become a burden to Ella's family.
Ella saw right through them and waved their worries away, "Guys, we have a huge farm house. There's like eight rooms in total and an extension out back so your bus driver can sleep comfortably. Plus my parents have a huge fucking field so the bus won't be an issue to park by the house."
Still, they were wavering on accepting the offer, but when Lily interrupted with, "Ella will be insufferable if you don't accept and our parents have been excited to meet y'all for a while now, they'd be sad if y'all don't come along."
They made the sisters promise twice that it wouldn't be an issue to have them over and the two times they wholeheartedly swore on it. And that was how the group ended up following Ella out of the festival grounds, back to her childhood home.
Just like Ella had promised, there was plenty of space beside the huge farm house for the tour bus to fit in. It could've fitted in the driveway easily if the bus driver hadn't been worried of blocking one of the garage doors.
Unfortunately, Jayne and Lewis had to leave right then since they had to work in the morning. So everyone bid the farewell before they could come into the house, Ella making her promise to call her as soon as she got back home, which thankfully only was thirty minutes away.
After they watched Lewis and Jayne driving away, everyone got their stuff out of the bus and they soon were ready to follow Ella and Lily down the cobblestone path and into the house.
The group whistled in awe when they walked through the big wooden doors, which certainly matched the grandiosity of the house. Before Ella could show them around and help them settle into the spare rooms though, she guided the bus driver out the back and showed him the extra two rooms and bathroom that was the extension.
When the director came back, after welcoming the driver to feel at home and let any of them know if he needed anything with a knock on the sliding doors on the back of the house, Lily had already said goodnight and excused herself to go to her room.
"Okay, let me show you where you're sleeping and where the bathrooms are before I collapse." Ella joked as she waved them to follow her but she wasn't entirely playing around since her eyes were starting to close against her will.
She still showed them around with a massive grin on her face, seeing the couples starting to occupy the rooms of her home made her incredibly giddy. So when she eventually got to her room, after wishing everyone sweet dreams and hugging them tightly, she sighed loudly in content before hopping in the shower. Her smile stayed on her face as she fell asleep, feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about what the following day would be like.
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"Hi guys! Nice to meet you!" A voice they hadn't heard before greeted them as they walked out to the yard, where a long picnic table waited for them with a big array of food that was so American, it made the group smile. Before they could greet the woman back, she introduced herself, "I'm Grace and this is Parker. We're Ella and Lily's parents."
The group went around giving them hugs and properly greeting the couple, and once they did, Grace pointed at the benches waiting to be occupied for the feast to start, "Get yourselves settled, we made breakfast for everyone!"
There was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, cornbread, pulled pork in hawaiian dinner rolls, sausages, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee and creamer. It looked like an army was meant to eat there, not the band and the Hayes family.
"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes." Alex smiled sweetly at the fifty year old woman who was expectantly waiting for each of them to fill the plates she'd arranged in each of their seats.
She scoffed playfully, "Oh please hun, Grace is fine. Don't make me feel older than I already am."
Alex chuckled in response, "Then thank you Grace, this looks delicious."
Before Grace could thank him for the compliment on her cooking, Ella and Lily walked out of the house and greeted everyone.
"Rude of y'all to make us wait." Parker taunted his daughters with a playful smile on his face to which her daughters sighed in response.
"Sorry guys." Ella said, and when her eyes landed on the food that was laid out for everyone, her jaw fell in surprise, "Fucking hell mom! Are you feeding the whole town?!"
Grace was about to scorn her for swearing, when Ella stopped in her tracks as she was about to sit beside Alex for she noticed the bus driver was missing at the table. "Hold up, I'm gonna go wake their driver up so he can eat something."
She dashed towards the extension out back and they watched as she knocked multiple times until the man appeared on the door. They couldn't hear the conversation but the man nodded and closed the door again so Ella turned on her heels and made her way back to the table.
Snatching a piece of cornbread from one of the trays, she finally took her seat next to Alex and before taking a bite of her food, she informed, "He's coming in five minutes."
Alex watched as Ella's dad smiled and walked up to her, pressing a kiss on her head and mumbling, "That's my sweet little girl." before he went to join his wife across the table.
The childish gleam of pride on Ella's face made Alex want to audibly coo. He knew there was so much more about her that he had yet to discover and this glimpse into her when she was surrounded by family and at her home was making him fall in love all over.
His heart had kick started when she had come into his view just a few minutes before, seeing her face still a bit puffy from sleep, dressed in some jean shorts and a blue shirt that read 'What would Dolly do?' which made him swallow a giggle. She was wearing some worn out brown cowboy boots that tied her look together and she just made so much more sense in this context. She glowed in a new light at home and it made him fall head over heels all over again.
Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to keep each other close as if their thighs weren't already brushing together. Ella offered him a tight lip smile, her mouth full of delicious cornbread, and she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few seconds before she could get herself food on her plate.
It was once the guys' bus driver walked out, greeted everyone and sat at the end of the table, that everyone started to actually eat.
Grace and Parker asked about loads of things, starting with the band and the tour and how it had gone in the festival, to then asking about how they were finding their little town, if they had any favorite places in America and how it was different to touring around Europe and the UK.
The lads were very witty and made the conversation flow so easily that it felt less of an interrogation and more of a story sharing hour. Which, of course, had somehow ended in the retelling of how the band met Ella and how it had been working with her throughout the years.
Coming to the realization that it had been well over three years since they all met made the nostalgic, and soon enough they remembered that the latest music video they had recorded would be coming out later in the day so they'd get the chance to gather in front of the TV in the living room and see the final product.
Once everyone was satisfied with their very varied breakfast, they all got up from the table and started helping clean up. There had been some leftovers and those were carefully picked up and put away, as the rest of the group gathered the dirty dishes and utensils and brought them to the kitchen so they could be rinsed and put into the dishwasher.
Everything was taken care of after twenty minutes, so the group was good to go back to resting in their rooms if they wanted to—that was what the bus driver had done after wholeheartedly thanking Ella's parents for the meal—but before they could go, Grace had an idea.
As she finished drying the last few glasses they had used, Grace suggested, "Eleanor, honey, why don't y'all go down to the stable to see the horses? God knows Birdie misses you."
At the mention of her horse, Ella lit up and exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" Her eyes went wide and she turned quickly on her heels to go back outside, "Let's go y'all. I need to show you my baby."
The group had to pick up their pace to catch up with Ella, she was practically dashing through the slightly grown out grass on the way to the stable which was to the far right side of the huge backyard—it was more like an acre of land than a back garden, but if they had horses then it made sense to have such a big space.
Ella got to the gates of the stable quicker than them and she swiftly opened one of them ajar right when the group got there. They still had her walk in first to guide them in, and they saw how she inhaled deeply and smiled brightly when taking in the place. She'd grown up in that stable, playing with hay and learning how to care for the horses, sneaking away with her first girlfriend and getting in trouble when she would go out for a ride in the middle of the night.
So many good memories and the prospect of making some more with her best friends at that moment was making her all soft and gooey inside.
"Fucking hell. Yous breed horses?" Matt let out in surprise when he saw the seven horses inside the place, all huffing excitedly at the sight of visitors.
Ella turned to see him and shook her head, "Not really. We used to have a horse each but then my mom's horse passed and we tried to fill the void with two more and with them these two crazy boys came along." She pointed at two beautiful black horses on the left side of the aisle—the memory of helping her parents deliver the two horses would be one to stay with her forever. When Bee had given birth to Stephen, she had been absolutely terrified but almost two years later, when Bee gave birth to Blaze, she'd felt so much more prepared that it became a moment of pride rather than trauma.
She walked further until she got to the most excited horse of all, a brown one with spots all over its back and hips, and luscious black hair. "This is Birdie, he's my best boy." Ella said proudly before holding her horse's muzzle, pouting and cooing when he leaned into her touch, "Hi bubba!" The group watched as the horse started nickering and Ella gave him her attention entirely and nodded along like she understood, "I know, I know bub. Oh I missed you so much!"
When Ella realized everyone had stayed on the side watching, she waved them over, "Come on, don't be shy. He's a lover." Bre got to him and patted its muzzle and its forehead and Ella chuckled seeing how much Birdie was enjoying the attention. She shook her head and scoffed, he really was a big baby, "And he fucking loves attention so please pet him, he'll behave even better when he sees y'all wanting to show him some love." He hadn't changed one bit and she knew that had to be with her parents spoiling him to help him cope with Ella not being home and missing her.
Bre cooed at him, loving how he reacted to them and becoming speechless at the beauty of his coat, "He's beautiful. Can we go for a ride Ella?" The model had grown up going to the countryside with her parents and riding horses was her favorite thing as a kid so she really had to ask.
"Of course." Ella agreed easily, but she had to make sure first before she decided which horse she would give her best friend, "You do remember how to ride, right Bre?"
Before the model could answer though, her fiance took the chance to joke, "She sure does."
"Shut up Matthew." Ella scolded him, half smiling because he was such a little shit.
Bre snorted and rolled her eyes before thinking about it, she looked around the horses and ended up saying, "I do, but give me a calm one please. Haven't ridden in a while."
Ella hummed, looking around and when she saw the thoroughbred that belonged to her mum, she smiled, "Honeybee for Bre it is then."
"Awh I wanna ride too!" Katie pouted before Ella could get a singular saddle for Bre. When Ella turned to her and beamed, Katie gnawed on her bottom lip shyly before admitting, "Don't know how though."
"S'okay, I'll teach you." Ella waved her off. She was growing excited because she loved teaching people how to ride horses. Knowing it'd be easier to take her own horse since he would definitely listen to her, Ella offered, "Wanna take Birdie? He'll behave I promise."
Maybe Katie should've given it more of a thought but she didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and reply with a chirpy, "Sure!"
Ella smiled, but then a thought crossed her mind and she suggested to do one thing before taking Bre and Katie out, "First, let me take Birdie for a quick spin and I'll come back when he's calmed down. If you go on him now he'll get the zoomies and that won't be good." She winced thinking about the time she was fifteen and she'd gone on a camping trip with her cousins and their friends and come back after a long week, and when she'd gotten on Birdie, he was being so aggressive he threw her off and she dislocated her shoulder.
Yeah, she needed to take him for a quick loop before giving him to Katie.
"When I'm back, I'll get it all ready for you too." She promised Breana and Katie with a soft smile, "You guys can follow me on the golf carts if you want. There's a gorgeous lake a few miles down the field." They had a pair of beaten up golf carts that her parents used to get around the property easily, and she was sure the keys were in each of them, ready to be used.
With an impressive ease, Ella took Birdie out of his stall—and after softly calming him down as he started neighing and thrashing around from excitement—she saddled him up. She explained what she was doing as she went, and showed them how to mount twice so that Katie and Bre, and whoever else wanted to ride later knew what to do.
Once on Birdie, she had him slowly walk out of the stable—Jamie was a gooden and opened the second door so they could comfortably walk out and then closed the doors behind him—and showed them the golf carts on the back of the stable.
Alex, Katie and Jamie got in one of the carts while Nick, Kelly, Matt and Breana got in the other one. When they turned on the carts, Ella instructed them to follow her and she jetted off in a split second.
They all heard her loud laughter in the air as they followed, the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing her hair as she picked up speed on her horse made giggles fall from her uncontrollably. Behind her, the group followed and they gasped so many times when Birdie would gallop higher and faster and it felt like Ella would be flung off its back on many occasions.
It took them a few minutes to get to the lake, but still Birdie wanted to run some more so Ella told them to stay by the body of water while she tired him out. That took about five more minutes. The horse didn't want to stray too far from the group—attention whore, Ella thought with amusement—and when he let Ella walk him back beside the group, the director praised him for being good.
A wide eyed Kelly was the first to speak when she was beside them, "Jesus Christ, Ella. I thought he was gonna throw you off so many times then."
"I know, me too." Ella chuckled, the adrenaline that rushed through her veins made her want to laugh. She was so happy as she explained, "He gets too excited when I'm back home. Don't you, boy?" Leaning in, she patted his shoulder and brushed his mane lovingly, "He's fine now though." She could feel his chest expanding continuously as he tried to calm his breathing down, just like her chest was heaving from the remains of the thrill of the ride.
Behind their pregnant friend, Bre leaned in so Ella could hear her whistle in awe, just before she complimented, "You sure can fucking ride, babe."
That made Ella cackle loudly, the words making her fill with pride so she smiled at her, all smug and said, "Cowgirl through and through, my love. I've been telling you." The wink she sent Ella made Alex clench his jaw. It was beyond him how she could be so hot doing the most mundane things. He'd been watching her with his mouth agape, really having to focus on driving the cart that whole time from how he couldn't keep his eyes off her.
She looked stunning as she dismounted the horse, landing with a thud on the floor, her cowboy boots digging on the mud. "It's a bit muddy over here, but it's so beautiful." She grabbed onto Birdie's reins, to have him walk with her up to the lake, and waved everyone over behind her.
The lads put the golf carts on park and left them where they'd stopped to follow Ella, Nick and Alex holding each of Kelly's arms to make sure she wouldn't slip.
Birdie was a menace so he actually huffed and puffed for Ella to take him into the water, the cowgirl rolled her eyes and told him he could go but reminding him to listen when it was time to go, as if he was a child that could understand her mom's wishes.
The water was warm under the sun, but it was refreshing to splash over their exposed skin. Matt had audibly regretted not bringing his camera along with him for the scenery was stunning, and Katie had asked Ella if she used to spend lots of time there as a kid.
"Oh yes. Loads." Ella nodded, nostalgia flashing through her features. "Used to sneak out of the house and mess around with my friends."
"Skinny dipping?" Kelly smirked, getting flashbacks to the photoshoot they'd had when Ella was over in London.
Ella smirked back, "Oh yeah, amongst other things."
The group laughed, Bre coming to shove her playfully and Ella tripped slightly. Alex was sweating looking around the place and just thinking about the things Ella could get up to, seeing this side of her and finding those little details of her had his mind dizzy.
There was one thing he could easily pinpoint though. He was falling for her even more, and the raw, animalistic hunger and need he felt for her was growing. The hot weather was only making him sweat and feel uncomfortably flustered.
A few minutes later, after a few stories from Ella about spending summers splashing around and getting drunk with her friends there, they all went back to the stable.
Ella got Honeybee ready for Breana, helping her mount the horse and then she helped Katie get on Birdie. She held the reins as she walked both the horses out of the stable and soon enough, she had them galloping around. Birdie was tired from Ella taking him earlier so he went way easier on Katie than she had Ella, and Bee was a sweetheart as per usual, being gentle with Bre and allowing the model to guide her on the pace she wanted to take.
The girls got the hang of it after a bit over ten minutes and then Ella let them go a bit faster on their own. It made Ella so happy to see the smiles on Katie and Bre's faces as they went around the field and she clapped and complimented them when they got to stop the horses effortlessly.
Ella helped them dismount and they walked the horses back to the stable. The girls helped get the saddle off them and put them back in their stalls, filling up buckets with water for the horses to have after their activities.
The cowgirl asked if anyone else wanted to go for a ride but when they all stayed quiet, pressing their lips together, she had to carefully look at each of them to make sure.
When her gaze landed on the drummer, she saw a hint of curiosity on his face so she scooped out a positive reply from him by softly asking, "Matt, you wanna take Stephen out for a loop?"
He hesitated but eventually nodded, "Ermm, sure."
"Perfect. Anyone else?" Her eyes went around the group again, until they landed on her other best friend who had been averting his gaze very obviously as if that would get Ella to not ask him. "Alex, you?" She pressed softly, not wanting to push too much from the get go.
"I don't know." He frowned warily. After seeing how Birdie had been with Ella, he was very hesitant.
"Oh come on, sweets!" Ella pouted, walking up to him with her best puppy eyes and stopping right in front of him to try and convince him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she made a show of batting her lashes, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "You can't come over and meet my horses and not wanna go for a ride. Come onnn, pleaseeeeee."
She had it so easy, she could have him do anything and everything with a snap of her fingers. It made him smile, knowing just how clearly she had him wrapped around her little finger, the love she felt for her making his chest swell.
Still, he tried to play it off as if it was a burden for him to accept, letting out an exaggerated sigh that made her narrow her eyes at him and concluding, "Alright, I'll do it. But not Birdie."
"Okay not Birdie." She rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she stood up straight and coming to a better alternative for him, she exclaimed, "I'm gonna get Duke, he's gentle."
Duke was the eldest one, her dad's horse that he'd gotten before he married Ella's mom, and he had grown soft and playful with age. After Luna, Ella's mom horse who had been his mate for the longest time, died he had dulled down and his thirst for speeding around the field and dashing through the mountains had almost left him entirely.
Ella's dad took Blaze when he wanted to dash around but when he just wanted to take a leisure walk, Duke was still his boy.
So Ella sweetly greeted Duke first, taking him out of his stall and getting him ready for Alex. She let the singer walk the horse outside, promising he would behave and he would wait patiently there for her to get Stephen ready for Matt.
The smile on Ella's face was impossibly big when they walked out and Alex was there carefully stroking Duke's muzzle. Her heart melted in her chest and she would have cried if she allowed herself to. The sight of that did something to her, a shift inside her that only accentuated the overwhelming love she now could easily point out that she had for him.
Holding back her emotions, she nodded to Alex to follow her behind the stable again so that he and Matt could get on the horses and go for a ride.
It had been hilarious and equally frustrating to get Matt to mount Stephen, when Ella finally managed to help him up on the horse she'd felt accomplished. But the feeling didn't last long for he instantly started complaining again.
"Owh fuck, my fucking balls." Matt exclaimed in pain as Stephen started walking rhythmically.
"Helders stop being so stiff." Ella called him out with a disapproving shake of her head. "Relax!"
The drummer snapped back with a hiss, "This fucking hurts, Eleanor."
"Too bad." She mocked, "Go on, Stephen is great."
Matt sighed and bit his tongue so as not to complain when Ella clicked her tongue and the horse started picking up his pace. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when panic started sizzling in his belly as the speed had increased, "That's too fast, no?"
Ella chortled along with the rest of the group, "Absolutely not. You're going way too slow." Bre was recording beside her and Ella was so glad she'd thought of that because this was being so entertaining so far. Before she could get lost in wanting to laugh at him rather than being a good host and instructor, Ella actually gave him advice to help, "He can feel you being uncomfortable, settle down and relax."
Stephen was going in loops after all so if anything happened, Matt knew Ella would know what to do so he kept reminding himself of that until he relaxed and actually started enjoying the ride.
"There we go." Ella praised with a sweet smile, "You can go a bit faster right?"
"No." Matt shook his head straight away.
"Yes you can." Ella sighed out a laugh. She couldn't believe Matt was that scared of riding a horse. So with another click of her tongue, the beautiful horse picked up its pace a bit more, "Yes Stephen, good boy."
When she praised the horse for following along the wordless instruction though, she noticed Matt's terrified expression so she spared him the stress and told him, "When you wanna stop, just gently pull the reins."
She didn't have to tell him twice because Matt softly pulled on them at the same time as he mumbled, "Ah-ah. Stop Stephen." and the horse slowed down until it stopped just in front of the group.
"See? He's such a good boy." Ella played when the drummer looked down at them all, his eyes still wide.
They heard him muttering profanities under his breath as he got down clumsily, tripping when he landed on the ground.
Without giving Matt more attention, Ella got Stephen and walked him back to the stable. She took a few minutes taking the reins and saddle off him, getting him some water before she walked out again.
She went straight to where Alex stood, holding Duke by its reins, and placing a hand softly on his shoulder, she instructed, "Your turn, sweets."
Alex nodded, his hands starting to get clammy from the nerves. She could see it on his face so she walked up to him, placing her hand on top of his hand which was holding the reins. "Want me to help you get on him?" She sweetly suggested, knowing it would ease him if she was there with him.
"Please." he mumbled, brows furrowing slightly.
Her expression softened and she had to fight not to pout, instead offering him a cute smile to soothe his nerves, "'Course."
Offering one of her hands as leverage, he mounted Duke. He struggled a bit finding his balance on one foot before he could swing his leg over to the other side of Duke's back but he did great and Ella didn't fail to praise his good job.
"Just relax and when I click my tongue he'll go, okay? Don't be scared." She said just for him to hear, she was on the other side of the horse anyway so the group couldn't hear.
Ella waited for Alex to nod and she walked around the horse to stand beside Bre again. Once there, she offered Alex another smile before she said, "Go on, Duke." followed by a click of her tongue that made the horse start walking around.
Unlike Matt, Alex's posture was great, his back straight but not stiff and his shoulders relaxed in good posture. She still made sure to ask, "How's that? Comfortable?"
"Yeah." Alex nodded in confirmation.
Matt chuckled in mock, "He's shitting bricks."
But before Ella could bite back, Nick scoffed and corrected, "He's doing better than you, dickhead."
"Piss off." The drummer quipped back in a mumble.
And it made Ella snort when Nick shrugged and added, "Just saying."
"Just let him go a bit faster, yeah?" Ella pointed when Duke came back after taking Alex with him a mile down the field.
"Okay." He loosened the reins a bit and tugged on them briefly and when the horse started going faster, he muttered, "Oh shit."
"You're fine!" Ella assured, Duke would slow down eventually, he couldn't keep up his speed for long so this was just him wanting to play around for a few minutes.
Watching as Alex kept his posture and continued riding, Ella praised once more, "That's a good job!" Of course, praising the horse as well, "Go on Duke, nice boy." She wouldn't deny that the scene was tugging at her heart strings, it was a mix of happiness and a sense of future nostalgia for the memory in the making.
"You know what to do to get him to stop?" Ella asked just to make sure when Alex and Duke rode past the group.
Alex nodded again, "Yes!"
"Okay, on your own time now, sweets. You got this." She encouraged.
Alex copied the way in which she'd slowed Birdie down and how Matt had managed to do with Stephen, he pulled on the reins softly calling out for Duke to stop and he did. Duke slowed down about a hundred feet away from the group and allowed for Alex to guide him back to them all with ease.
"Nicely done." Ella smiled brightly, filled with pride. "That was great! You did great, sweetness!"
Alex couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, a loopy smile on his face as his chest puffed out with pride, "Thank you darling." He wondered if he could ask to go once more just to hear her sweet words again and again and again. His knees buckled at the thought of her praising him, that sweet voice of hers drowning his ears.
He was down so bad for her. How embarrassing, he thought at first, but then he wanted to laugh because he really wouldn't wish to have it any other way.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
After putting Duke back in his stall, giving him water and going around the stable once more, they all went back to the house.
Just by the sliding doors in the back of it, they found Ella's dad at the grill, flipping some burgers and cuts of meat with a speaker next to him blasting some old tune that Ella was trying to recognize.
The smell of the barbecue and his dad wearing that apron she made back when she was in kindergarten, made him think back to her teenage years when she'd have her friends over and they'd drive to the lake and come back to some yummy food and her dad's favorite music interrupting the sounds of nature.
Then it suddenly clicked. "Is that The Guess Who, dad?" Ella asked, pretty damn sure that was 'Undun' by the 70s Canadian band.
Her dad hummed proudly, after all he'd been the one to basically pass down his music taste to her. "Yes honey. Could you turn it up a bit?" Parker asked, pointing at his phone over by the picnic table with his spatula.
"Sure." Ella quickly went to get the device and turned the volume up a few notches until her dad sang and it got lost under the loud song. "Does mom need help with anything? Do you need anything?" She asked her dad before they could get comfortable on the seats. There were plates and cutlery organized around the table already, and aluminum trays in the middle of the table waiting to be filled with what was on the grill.
He thought about it for a few seconds before he shrugged, "M'not sure lovie. I'm alright but go check on her please."
Ella nodded and turned to her friends, "Guys, sit down. I'll be back."
Before she could leave on her own, Alex quickly called out, "I'll go with ya'" that made her smile and nod for him to follow her.
She opened the sliding door and closed it once Alex walked in beside her—right before the door was fully closed, they heard 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles came on. There was a stark difference between the heat outside and the nice chill in which the house had been kept thanks to the AC and it made Ella shiver.
Her skin breaking on goosebumps and a chill running down her spine made her almost miss the way Alex smirked and said, "Now that makes sense."
"What?" She asked confused as she started walking on the way to the kitchen.
She knew the cause of his smirk when he said, "That 70s head of yours."
Her cheeks turned bright red and her stomach flipped. This was the first time he'd ever acknowledged any of her connection to 'Arabella' directly to her so her voice wavered when she let out a high pitched, "Stop it." at the same time as she weakly shoved him.
The laugh she got from that made her breath hitch in her throat and she almost tripped because her legs wobbled at the sound. A giggle escaped her involuntarily and she felt like such a pathetic fool but it made her feel warm and nice that it was him who made her feel that way. Only him.
Ella was stuck in a stupid-in-love haze when she and Alex finally got to the kitchen, there Lily was already helping her mom out with finishing up the salad she was making so all Ella and Alex got to help with was taking the drinks and the ice bucket out to the table.
A few minutes later, Ella's mom and Lily walked outside with the big bowl of salad, setting it down carefully on the only empty space on the table which was by the edge of it.
Compliments over the delicious look of the food rained around and Ella's dad joked about everyone not having seen his culinary skills yet as he was still waiting for everything to properly cook on the grill.
But before Ella could get up and have the bus driver come over to have lunch with them, her phone pinged with a notification from Ben.
(17/06/2014 16:39) Hi Ellie, how was the festival? Hope you had fun and that the guys enjoyed Tennessee as well! Snap music video came out almost an hour ago, did you get a chance to watch it? Think it turned out brilliant, we make a good team :))) Anyway, enjoy your day! See you Thursday!!
Ella gasped at the sudden reminder, making Alex jump in his seat beside her and everyone else turn to her with wide eyes.
"Sorry." The director apologized, "Ben just reminded me that the Snap music video came out and I think we should go watch it now before eating."
Grace saw the hesitation in everyone's faces and she smiled softly before encouraging them to go, "Food is not ready yet, go and watch it and then we'll eat."
When Ella's dad agreed on it, they all scrambled inside the house and Ella had to yell out for Lily to bring her laptop downstairs so she could connect the HDMI cable to it and watch it on a bigger screen.
It took about five minutes to finally have everything set and the second they were all comfortable in the couches around the room, Ella pressed play and rushed to her seat in between Alex and Katie.
For the next four minutes, Ella's parents and Lily—who had walked outside after delivering Ella her laptop—watched as the group became entranced by the video playing on the screen. Grace and Parker found it incredibly amusing and it reminded them of when Ella would have her friends over and they would head over to the nearest Blockbuster to get a few movies to rent and tried watching them all until every single one of them succumbed to sleep.
What piqued their curiosity though was the way Ella would lean into Alex, and how he would hold her tightly and play with the strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.
Grace and Parker had noticed the way those two looked at each other and they knew that Ella felt some type of way about the boy just from getting a peek at it for a few minutes during breakfast.
The parents shared knowing looks and smirks, knowing they'd be asking Ella about it later but since Lily was right there, they figured they could look for some answers.
"So what's the deal with them two?" Grace started, catching Lily's attention, "Are they dating and she hasn't told us yet or what?"
Lily shook her head and sighed, "Have no clue, ma. But they were glued together all day yesterday, I can tell you that."
Parker hummed, "Elaborate on that, hun."
"Holding hands, holding each other's waists, kissing each other's cheeks, taking pictures, going together everywhere, giggling and whispering to each other." Lily sighed like it was a burden to recall, "They were disgustingly cute, really."
The list of things her eldest daughter had just given them made them even more curious about it, but before either Grace or Parker could ask about it, Lily added, "Oh and when he was singing, he would keep singing at her and there's this song that Breana said he'd written about her called 'Arabella'. He got down on one knee to sing a bit of that song to her and all."
The smirk on Lily's face was matched by Grace and Parker couldn't help but cackle at the information, "If he's even gonna think of getting down on one knee for her, he's gotta ask me first."
Grace scoffed and handed him a tray for him to place the food that was already done, before shutting him down, "Oh you old man, stop it. They're so cute actually, look at how big she's smiling!"
It wasn't an exaggeration at all for the smile on Ella's face was so big it reached her eyes and the apples of her cheeks were tinted a lovely shade of pink that made Grace coo.
"She's enamored." Her mom concluded, knowing that look on her daughter's face so well. She was just hoping it didn't end badly for her like it had the two previous times.
Lily hummed in agreement, "She sure is but she's too much of a pussy to admit it."
"Lilian!" Parker and Grace called out for the use of such a vulgar word.
"What?! It's true!" Lily raised her hands in defense, "The girls told me she's been in denial for a while. I wonder how much longer it'll take her."
Parker watched the scene through the glass of the sliding doors again, and he smiled tenderly seeing how his daughter relaxed in Alex's hold when the singer dropped a kiss on her temple after mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.
"Not much longer." Ella's dad concluded; he had a hunch.
Before Grace and Lily could interrogate him as to why he thought so, they watched as the group in the living room stood up from their places and made their way back outside. They begrudgingly had to shut up and leave the subject for later, which they knew they would ask Ella about later that day if possible, especially since Lily had to leave early in the morning and she was too intrigued to let it pass.
When everyone went back to their seats, the food was already set on the table and their mouths watered at the sight. They waited for Lily to come back from letting the driver know that the food was ready and they were waiting for him to join them, and as that happened, Ella's parents asked about the video.
Ella explained the concept behind it and the song and how they both complimented each other, praying she wasn't blushing too noticeably when it came to explaining what the song was about.
After her explanation though, Alex couldn't not sing Ella's praises for her work with the video and when Ella's dad asked in a playful manner, "Is she alright? Not too much of a handful to work with?" Alex shook his head no.
"No, she's always been the best. Talented, patient, fun and so professional." His gaze danced between her parents as he said all that but it ended up falling on Ella when he finished, "She's always been gooden, this one."
Aware of it getting too cute, he poked Ella on the ribs and when she jumped in her place, she burst out laughing. "'Course you can't just be nice." Ella reprimanded with a roll of her eyes.
Alex hummed, "Gotta keep you humble."
The whole table smirked, even Lily was smirking as she'd heard Alex's words when she got back and it was like everyone but Alex and Ella shared a silent conversation about the pair while the two were too busy staring at each other lovingly.
When the driver arrived, running as he thought he'd been making them wait for too long, Alex and Ella were snapped out of their trance and the rest of the people at the table cut their telepathic conversation short. The conclusion so far was that they were so obvious yet so oblivious and they wondered what else needed to happen for them to do something about it.
Lunch went amazingly. It was like at breakfast they'd gotten over with the small talk so everyone was going around telling jokes and sharing stories, especially Ella's parents and they all ended up entertained at Ella and Lily's expense.
This meal went on for longer, as the chatter distracted them from quickly making the food in their plates disappear and though it had ended up cold by the time the food was about to be gone, they still enjoyed it all.
When they all deemed themselves full, Ella's dad brought out a big case of beer for everyone to share, and once those were opened, it felt like a proper homecoming.
It surprised Ella how they seemed to not run out of conversation topics, the sun had started going down to sleep on the horizon and the sky was starting to tint different colors. The knowledge of what she had planned for a couple hours later made her smile to herself for a few minutes, she was just relishing in the accents mixing together and the laughs she'd missed so much filling her chest and making her feel warm inside. The imagery of her childhood home mixing with her current life made for a lovely scene and she was taking it all in in fine detail so she could relive the memory every night.
Reaching into Alex's pocket, she fished out the cigarettes she knew he carried everywhere. He'd gotten startled by the sudden touch on his upper thigh but when she got the packet out and smiled, his heartbeat slowed down slightly.
Ella got a cigarette out and placed it between her lips, but before Alex could hand her the lighter, her mom groaned in disapproval. "Really, Eleanor? A cigarette?"
"Mom. Please." She mumbled with the stick poking out of her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the lighter and swiftly igniting a spark to bring alive her oral fixation.
Taking one long drag, she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke in her lungs before exhaling it upwards and then continuing with her quip back at her mom, "I'm a grown woman, we're past the point where you scold me for smoking."
But her mom got up from where she was sitting and walked up to her, squishing her cheeks together making her involuntarily pout she scrambled to hold the cigarette before it fell to the floor. Her mom chuckled and put on a baby voice to say, "I know you're 26 but I don't care, you'll always be my cute little baby."
"Mommmmmm. Stopppppp." She whined, her cheeks still trapped in her mom's hold.
It seemed like Grace didn't plan on letting go but then she just dropped her hand and Ella noticed the mischievous grin on her mom's face as she said, "Hold on a second." before quickly going back inside the house and dashing upstairs.
Ella frowned deeply, "What– Where is she going?"
Lily shrugged, an amused expression on her face because she found her mom hilarious but she assured Ella, "I've no clue." because she had no idea why the woman had gone back inside so hurriedly.
Their silent question was answered when, ten minutes later, Grace interrupted the group's conversation by dropping a handful of thick photo albums on top of the wooden table.
Ella instantly recognized them and whined in complaint, "No, mom! Don't!"
"But why? You were so cute I have to show you off." Her mom defended, opening the first one up and letting the group see newborn Ella wrapped up in hospital blankets and a cute little pink hat.
"Are those all photo albums?" Nick asked, intrigued by the amount of books Grace had brought.
"Yes they are." Grace nodded proudly, "They're all Ella."
That was enough for a bunch of hands to reach for the album and start flipping through the pages to see cute little Ella throughout the years.
Most of the first photo album was of Ella as a baby. Her wearing a bunch of cute little onesies, during each of her first holidays—she'd been dressed up as a baby cupid for her first Valentine's day and it made everyone coo—, as she took her first steps, her first time at the beach, her first baby photoshoot, her first ugly sweater—she'd turned to Alex after Grace had shown that one and said, "Always been a tradition, see?".
The next one's were more of her as a toddler and on. Her wearing a bunch of obnoxious little dresses and smiling so hard to show her little baby teeth it looked forced. A bunch of pictures of her playing dress up with her parents' clothes, many with her whole face disappearing beneath her dad's cowboy hats and the funniest ones of her modeling as she wore her mom's big heels. Her with her first pair of cowboy boots which had been the same day as her first rodeo, from which they had a bunch of pictures of her riding little sheep and then one of her on the podium smiling big as she held her first place golden medal. Some of her smiling wide to show her tooth gap after losing her two upper front baby teeth.
"You were so cute, what happened?" Alex joked, knowing she'd get the reference for his use of words.
Everyone around laughed along, but she blushed knowing why he was saying that and all she could retaliate with was a shove and a weak, "Shut up."
"Awh look at those chubby cheeks!" Kelly cooed, "I wanna eat you up!"
Katie gasped seeing one of her smiling wide with a big ice cream cone, Ella's eyes looked huge and incredibly green in the picture thanks to the sun that there'd been that day at the park, "Your eyes!"
Grace pouted when the model said that, getting nostalgic about her baby's big eyes, "Every time I see her when she's back home I think back to her big eyes she had as a baby. So sad she grew into them as well as her big ears."
Ella chuckled, the big ears she had as a baby had always been endearing to her. There was something it reminded her of, so she shared it to laugh a little at herself, "I looked like Dopey."
"You still do." Nick countered with a snicker.
Ella gasped dramatically and turned to him with a faux offended look on her face, "Yellamo, you offend me."
What the director didn't count on was her dad adding into it by saying, "She sure does look like Dopey when she wakes up." and since they all had seen her just after waking up multiple times, they agreed to taunt her even more.
"Dad!" She exclaimed, offended. Crossing her arms and shaking her head, she huffed in her place, "Can't believe I'm getting cornered in my own house!"
Her mom found it all so entertaining, she added more fuel to the fire by teasing, "Oh just you wait until I bring the VHS tapes."
But before Grace could even take one step, Ella interrupted by standing up herself, "Yeah, no. Not happening." She closed the photo albums and piled them up together before they could get to the ones of her in high school, and shook her head in disapproval, "You already did the photo albums and that's enough." Seeing that it was getting darker by the minute, she added a point that no one could refute, "Plus we need to start getting ready soon. We're going out."
The band and their missus looked at her in confusion, they had no idea they had more planned out for the day. Especially not since Ella hadn't mentioned anything and they had to leave Tennessee around three in the morning.
"Where?" The group asked in chorus.
"Oh there's this fun party down at the biggest pub in town, it's a tradition after Bonnaroo weekend." Ella shrugged as if trying to downplay it, but her failed attempts to hide a smirk made everyone's curiosity spike. But she didn't give them much at all, for all she added was, "Y'all better be ready, we're gonna have some fun."
Her sister was the one to give them a bit more clarity on her intentions by calling her out, "That's code for her getting you shit-faced."
Ella rolled her eyes and quipped back with a meek, "Fuck off, Lily."
One that Grace and Parker reacted surprised about, scolding them both with a quick, "Girls!" that had the sisters turning to them and raising their hands to feign innocence.
Ella was the one to defend herself verbally, pointing out, "What? She's jealous she can't go 'cause she's leaving tomorrow morning."
All it took was one glare from their mom to have both Ella and Lily swallowing their words, and all that was left to do was go back inside and start getting ready. It was almost seven in the evening so they'd have around three hours to make it there and get a table, therefore, Ella wasted no time to wave everyone in—they followed her inside after thanking Ella's parents for the meal and helping gather all the dirty dishes and bringing them inside—and plan on how they'd arrange the use of showers to utilize their time at the best of efficiency.
Since there were only two guest bathrooms, they'd have to take turns to shower. However, to try and be ready on time, while Jamie and Matt took the two guest bathroom showers, Ella had Breana shower in her ensuite and Lily let Katie have her ensuite. Making Alex, Ella, Nick and Kelly the ones to wait to have showers next.
While Bre was in the shower, Ella went to her dresser and found the little gift bag in which she'd hidden two of Alex's gifts and the other was set beside it. She grabbed them and slowly made her way downstairs, knocking on the door of the guest room Alex was staying in.
She had to knock two separate times since he didn't answer at first, and she didn't think much of it until he groggily opened the door and she saw his hair a mess and his eyes a bit red from interrupted sleep, "Oh shit sorry, were you asleep?"
"I was, yeah." Alex said sheepishly, his voice low and sultry, making her wanting to clench her thighs together.
Still, she winced and took a step back as she apologized, "Sorry. I can come back later."
But he shook his head quickly, one of his hands coming to her waist to bring her back close to him, "No, no. What is it darling? Wanna come in?"
She bit her lip briefly. The offer was tempting but she couldn't afford to act on impulse when she was still trying the best way to approach the fact that she was in love with him. It was her turn to shake her head, giving a different excuse to hold her cover, "I can't, Bre is coming out of the shower any second now but I have a few gifts for you."
His eyes opened wide at that information, and when she pulled out the silver gift bag from behind her, he let his shoulders hang and his lips formed in a pout, "Darling, I thought I told you to not be spending money on me."
"Yeah but I had to." Ella stated simply, like it was enough reasoning.
He watched suspiciously as her other hand stayed hidden behind her back, but still refuted her instead of asking about it, "No, you didn't."
She smiled sweetly though, handing him the bag and making it look like she was gonna let go of it any second so he had to take it so as not to have it fall to the floor. "I did because..." She started, digging her hand inside the bag and fishing out a mirrorball just like the one she had in her car, "You needed one of your own."
The feeling that washed over him was indescribable. It was like coming back home after being away for so long, like finding that peace of familiarity that you'd been searching after feeling lonely for way too long, like the warmth that sharing an inside joke with someone brought you, the way the laughter those elicited tasted so much sweeter on one's tongue.
"And you need to be properly ready for tonight." She continued, this time revealing what she'd been hiding behind her back: a brown leather cowboy hat lined with some worn-out looking studs. He took it from her in awe at how good it looked, but before he could put it on to make it a show for her, she said, "Wait, this first," fishing again for the bag and pulling out a bolo tie. She brought it over his head and put it on for him, adjusting it and patting it against his chest, in place and satisfied by the look of it, she smirked proudly, "There you go."
"This is for tonight?" Alex asked, slowly putting the cowboy hat on.
Fuck me, was all that went through her head. He looked so good in a cowboy hat, she half wanted to push him inside the room and get on her knees for him, to suck him off and look up at him dressed like that as she used her mouth to pleasure him.
She had to clear her throat when she realized she needed to answer his question, "Yes and you must wear it."
"What if I don't?" He challenged, slightly confused.
Ella shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "You'd be breaking the rules of the party."
It intrigued him even more. "So are you wearing one as well?"
"I will." Ella teased with a mysterious tone, and the way she shrugged again before adding, "Soon enough." made him raise a brow in silent questioning that she ignored.
With a little wave, she walked backwards a few steps before turning on her heels and going back upstairs. Her thumb came up to her mouth and she bit on the pad of it, nervously, as she couldn't contain her smile and a shriek when she got to her room.
Before she could get too distracted with her daydreaming about Alex in cowboy gear, she made sure to leave a hat for each guy in each of their rooms and once that was done, she went in the shower to start getting ready. Though she did get a little distracted by a few images her brain was conjuring, ones that involved a certain singer in that cowboy hat she'd specifically picked out for him, her hands wandered around her body for long enough to have her biting her bottom lip as she came, careful not to call out to the man she loved but didn't know it yet.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
"Save a horse, ride a cowboy?" Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly's arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.
Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, "Ladies, you'll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight."
Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance's waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, "Think that's already arranged, no?"
But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. "Have fun!" She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.
The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl's wanted before leaving the table they'd chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.
A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie's cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife's drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.
"Sorry man, didn't know she was with someone." The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie's head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model's ring finger.
Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie's. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, "S'alright, now you know."
The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.
Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.
When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie's attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy's back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, "They're fast so go on placing those hats on your girls."
It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads' panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.
Tonight is promising.
Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, "Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now."
But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't think so." just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella's.
Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, "Good choice, sweets."
Everyone was looking at them when Alex stood back up straight, but Ella cut their gawking by gulping down the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the table and then grabbing Kelly and Katie's hands and nodding Bre over to the dancefloor, "Let's go dance, my loves."
Ella was on a roll. She vibrated with energy as she danced around, going to the bar when she felt thirsty and gulping down half a glass before leaving it on the table to go back to the girls dancing.
There was a side of her that came out of hiding in her hometown, just like her accent had come back subtly in the timbre of her voice, they had seen it in the way she let go of herself the day before at the festival and she was a level of carefree they hadn't seen before.
The alcohol had been helpful at pushing her inhibitions further away from her mind. Hips swaying more confidently, her hold tight around Bre's waist as they danced together to a song they both adored, even laughing with the people dancing around her who were just fully feeding off her energy.
That was why she had been the first of the girls to go back to the table and pull one of the lads up to dance.
She clutched Alex's hands tightly and forced him up his seat, wordlessly guiding him to the dancefloor with her and even though Alex had no appeal to dance in the public space in such an unfamiliar setting, he just couldn't say no to her.
There was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.
And the few glasses of straight whiskey on ice had been helpful too at not thinking much about all the people around them.
His hands fell on Ella's waist as soon as she turned around when she deemed them far enough into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing to the music. Ella's arms wrapped around his shoulders and he smiled at her when the flashback to Nick and Kelly's wedding reception came to the forefront of his mind.
Alex went along with her every move, his breath hitching in his throat when she'd come to press her front against him, so painfully aware of the feeling of her so close to him and how much he was enjoying it. Secretly wishing there'd be an opportunity to have her properly pressed against him without having to be dancing—he was wishing he could just do it for the hell of it, just because he enjoyed being so close to her and he would steal a kiss from her too if she allowed him to.
She looked breathtaking in a blue corset top that zipped up on her front, so her tits were perfectly scooped up and they looked as if they were about to spill out of the fabric. With it, she'd worn a white satin skirt that came down to her mid thighs but with all the dancing, it had come up until her red ink tattoo showed perfectly for everyone. She'd changed her worn out brown boots from earlier for a pair of red heeled cowboy boots, ones that made her look exquisite. And her hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls, a few strands framing her pretty face which had a bit of makeup that enhanced her beauty.
His hopes went up when she started leaning into him after a pair of songs, but she missed his mouth entirely, instead going further until she could speak right into his ear, "Wanna get another drink?"
With a nod, he confirmed he did want to and Ella led the way once again. She had ordered shots of tequila instead, asking for lime so she could bear the taste of the two shots she'd gotten each.
Casamigos burned down their throats when they knocked them down, Ella bravely going for the second one without the lime after the first and she hissed when her second ran down her throat. The lime did help, slightly. Alex watched as she tried to get the most juice out of the wedge she had between her lips, his gaze growing hazy under the influence and his thoughts going a bit off the tracks at the sight of her plump lips sucking on the fruit.
Two whiskeys on ice were added onto their tab, one for each of them which they leisurely drank as they watched the rest of their group taking space in the dancefloor. The girls had followed Ella's lead earlier and brought their own partners up to dance with them. It was hilarious seeing Nick try to dance along, he was so stiff trying to match his pregnant wife's energy. At least the bar was playing all sorts of music so they weren't stuck trying to figure out how to dance to country music.
"He needs another drink." Ella commented, sipping on her own before correcting herself, "A few more, at least." Alex agreed with a hum around the rim of his glass.
But Nick had barely had another two glasses of whatever spirits he was having by the time Ella and Alex were long into their journey of getting drunk.
The rest of the band and their missus watched not so subtly as Alex and Ella kept giggling about, leaning into each other to whisper things in their ears and sharing touches that stayed on their skin for far too long.
At the start of one of her favorite songs, Ella took off to the dancefloor without even thinking of dragging anyone with her and it was mesmerizing how the crowd opened up to welcome her and she so easily made people turn around to look at her as she came alive to the music.
Some joined her, girls mainly just cheering her on and trying to feed off her energy but Ella was too eye-catching, a guy taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and turn her around so she could face him.
Alex's blood started boiling when he watched that happen, but he noticed the way her hands only hovered over the lad's chest and she gave him a soft smile and a "Hi." that seemed the slightest bit enthusiastic.
The singer's gaze was stuck on them as they danced along some old rock tune he didn't recognize, he could hear Ella's giggles if he concentrated enough and he only noticed his white-knuckle clutch on the back of his chair when Kelly walked past him after coming back from the bar and asked if he was alright.
A forced smile and a nod was all that she gave her as an answer, his eyes not wanting to leave what was unfolding in front of him but it seemed the split second he had taken his gaze off them, Ella had disappeared.
Suddenly, a heavy weight dropped all the way down to the pits of his stomach, menacingly threatening to make him sick, as if all of the alcohol he had ingested was rising up his throat with each second that passed and he couldn't find her. But then she appeared from the left side of the room, alone, and Alex took a deep breath in relief.
Her hand came up to her head to adjust Alex's hat on it, and with a raised brow, she asked, "You alright?" His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he'd had so far and his pupils were blown but there was something written in them in fine letters that she got curious about.
Yet, he didn't give him the answer she wanted to receive. Completely ignoring her, he decided to point out her actions, "Don't wanna take that hat off then?" It was subtle enough, he thought, a question that would give him a secure answer about what she was currently thinking.
And it was her smirk, along with the way she leaned closer to him—elbows on the table, chin propped on the palms of her hands, dreamy eyes—to say, "I don't think I will, no."
The slight scrunch of her nose, the way she slowly pushed herself off the table—giving him an eyeful of her cleavage—and the wink she left him with as she walked back to the bar ignited something inside him, something he would have trouble controlling as the night went on.
It was like he was fully magnetized to her after that, a minute had been too long for him to wait for her to come back from the bar so he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.
His scent was unmissable, so easy for her to recognize even in a crowded sweaty room, so she hummed as she melted in his hold.
"Want anything?" She asked softly, her words careful not to show how much the circles his fingers were drawing on the skin of her lower stomach were affecting her heart rate.
Leaning in to reply, Alex couldn't help himself from dropping a kiss on the side of her neck, and he thought about how much he wanted to bite and mark her up as he took his time to come up with, "Whatever you're having, darling."
Her clenched jaw was a product of her trying not to let her mouth fall open and make sounds at the feeling of his lips grazing her skin and his hot breath hitting the sensitive spot of her neck.
The bartender came back with her glass and she asked him to please get her another one, words almost catching up on her throat when someone slipped behind Alex therefore making the singer press closer to her back and she could feel all of him so well.
Hurriedly, Ella took a gulp of her drink and Alex giggled in her ear at the speed of it. "Easy there darling." He warned as if he wasn't just as tipsy as her, the whiskey they had been having was no longer burning as it went down their throats.
His fingers clutching her tighter enhanced his proximity a tenfold, goosebumps breaking on her skin at the feeling of his face so close to hers and his hair tickling her cheek.
Soon enough, the bartender came back with Alex's glass and after the singer got ahold of it and thanked him, they went back to the table.
Under everyone's gaze, Alex found himself not giving a flying fuck about anything else but him and Ella. She had sat on his lap and joined the conversation Jamie and Bre had started, laughing loudly at Jamie's commentary on the place they were at, but she was slightly distracted by the way Alex's free hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing over her 'Divine feminine' tattoo, making her shift on his lap, and making Alex groan against her shoulder.
She smirked at the reaction, playing dumb when she squirmed on him twice more in the span of the fifteen minutes they'd been sitting down, chatting with their friends.
In that last instance, he'd dug his teeth into her flesh after her ass rubbed on his hardening cock too well. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, a moan stuck on his throat that he alleviated by biting on the crook of her neck and earning a gasp of pleasure from her.
Ella let herself fall back on his chest, a drunk smile on her face that he matched. She knew what she was doing and his reactions were driving her crazy, but she didn't know what to do next, so much rushing through her drunk mind that she struggled to pick the next move.
And then, as if by design, a 50 Cent song came on and Ella knew exactly what to do.
As they walked into the dancefloor, Alex could imagine every way this would go but when Ella stopped and wrapped his arm around her middle to start grinding on him, Alex swore he had died.
She leaned her head back onto him as her hips drove him mad with a pace that changed along with the rhythm of the song, he dipped his head into her neck, leaving wet kisses that only encouraged her to continue.
It wasn't long before he was groaning against her skin, starting to suck bruises on the sensitive skin of her neck in response. Ella whimpered and moaned, every time he sucked harshly and dug his teeth into her flesh, licking over his abuse with his warm tongue.
Their minds were reeling, the notion that they were out in public slipping away the more they continued. He grew harder against her ass and the flimsy satin of her skirt and the fabric of his black jeans did nothing to conceal the feeling of his bulge pressing against her.
Heat rushed through her, pooling in between her legs where she throbbed for him. Her brain was starting to cloud with need, a hunger that only he could satiate. She loved him and she needed him right then and there.
And so, without thinking of any of the consequences it would bring, Ella grabbed his hand which was holding her flush against him, fingers interlocking as she loosened his grasp only to drop it as she turned around to face him.
Their chests heaved as they made eye contact, and the second she caught the darkness in his eyes, her fingers wrapped around the bolo tie she'd gifted him and pulled him in to capture his lips in a heated kiss.
Words could not do justice to the array of emotions that exploded in their chests the second their lips met. But the lust that exuded through their pores was made palpable through the moans they let out when their tongues met.
Her white knuckle grip on the bolo tie loosened when his hand dropped from her waist to her ass and he grabbed a handful of it only to squeeze at it harshly, kneading it possessively and making Ella whimper against his mouth.
Up his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his neck, Ella let her hand wander. The pressure she applied on the sides of his neck made him moan sweetly, high pitch in need and Ella couldn't hold back the smirk that elicited from her.
She couldn't stop smiling after that, trying to continue with the kiss but he kept kissing her teeth until his lips started moving down her jaw and back to her neck, where he wanted to continue his attack.
But her breathy, "Let's go somewhere." interrupted his actions.
He was just as breathless as her, his voice almost a whisper under the loud music, "Where, darling?" Once his words were out in the air though, he dipped his head again to kiss down her neck.
"I don't know–" She said as she tried to look around for a place to escape, but then, Alex's tongue came flat in between the valley of her breasts, licking up from her cleavage to her neck and her knees buckled. "Oh fuck." She moaned at the feeling of his wet tongue teasing her flushed skin. In a desperate effort, she looked to the far right of the place and saw the neon signs that led to the washrooms, so with one last roll of her hips against him, Ella desperately said, "Bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom."
With their fingers intertwined, they pushed through the dancing crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms, but it seemed like their intentions were written on their faces in big bold letters for a security guard glared at them and warned them that they had to go in separately.
Ella rolled her eyes once she nodded walking past the big man in all black attire, with Alex pressed right behind her like a leech. She turned the corner and ran towards the first door she saw, which was unfortunately locked, so she tried her luck with the other three and they all were the same.
She sighed, exasperatedly, her slick cunt still throbbing for him and the feeling of him rock hard behind her wasn't helping.
"We can wait." Alex whispered in her ear, his voice deliciously falling in her ears and making her turn quickly to kiss him again.
This time Alex pressed her against the wall, one of his legs coming between hers and his hand falling to her ass again but this time to encourage her to press her clit on his thigh, to let the friction alleviate the ache in her core.
"Alex, fuckkkk." She mewled in his mouth, the friction making her jaw drop and lose her sense of logic long enough to stop kissing him.
But he cupped her jaw with his free hand, pressing on her cheeks softly to pucker her lips up and guide her back to where he wanted her.
He didn't want to stop kissing her. Not now, not ever.
Both her hands desperately ran up his chest and clutched onto his shoulders, nails digging into his clothed skin, trying to keep him there and give herself some support as her legs trembled beneath her. If Alex didn't have her pressed against the wall, she was sure she would've fallen to the ground.
Their eyes closed in pleasure, as if they were purely relying on their touch to memorize every bit of this moment. But when they heard a lock of one of the doors behind them come undone and open, their eyes snapped wide open and they barely waited a few seconds for the girl who came out of it to scramble inside and lock the door behind them.
To their despair though, the girl who'd come out had quickly walked up to the security guard and pointed out what clearly was about to happen in the bathroom Ella and Alex had just walked in. The big man wasted no time to go up to the door that the girl had pointed and slam his fist against it so hard that it made the pair flinch and open the door with a fright.
"Told y'all one at a time." He repeated his words from before with a stern look on his face. "I'm warning y'all, if I find you sneaking into the bathroom together again I'm kicking you out."
Unlike Ella who was on the verge of flipping off the man and telling him to go fuck himself, Alex nodded with an embarrassed smile and started walking away, not wanting to get them in trouble.
The singer looked at Ella's expression as they slowly walked out and he had to leave a few pecks on her lips to have her drop that menacing face before she could get told off again. His lips did the magic of loosening up her frown, and when he interlocked their fingers and guided her out of the area, she seemed a bit more relaxed.
She was still fuming though, and it was obvious when they walked up to the far side of the bar in a corner where no one stood and she crossed her arms and huffed like a kid before muttering, "Fucking cockblocker."
Alex chuckled, all that he could think about was how much he fucking loved her. "S'okay, darling, we can wait until we find somewhere else." He promised wholeheartedly, but it slipped past his drunk mind that they wouldn't have any time when they got back to Ella's house.
Ella pouted, "But I don't wanna wait." She really wanted him right then and there.
Alex's head hung at the pitch of her voice, whiny and needy. His blood rushed down to his cock all over again, when he made direct contact with her flushed chest and those tits he just wanted to see spill out of that corset and run his mouth all over them, "Ella..."
His breath hitched in the back of his throat when her fingers clasped onto the buckle of his belt and she pulled him into her, his bulge pressing against her mound. "Sweetness, please." Ella whined again, she didn't give a fuck about sounding desperate at this point.
"You're driving me crazy." Alex confessed before his lips latched onto a spot on her neck, directly opposite to one he'd left on the other side of her neck just before when they were dancing.
Under her breath, Ella cursed, "Fuck..." The feeling of him biting and sucking on her skin was lighting her up alive.
In that very corner they stayed, kissing and biting, hips rolling and hands wandering, moans spilling out of each other's mouths; and with everything, the need for each other grew and grew and grew until it became unbearable.
The desperation was clear in every kiss, in the way their bodies rolled and pushed against each other, in the way their hands kept the other in place with fingers digging harshly into skin, groping, pulling, scratching.
The whole group had lost sight of the pair after they disappeared from the dancefloor, everyone at the table too shocked by what they'd just seen them do to go out looking for them. But then ten minutes rolled by and then, ten more. And no one had a clue about where the horny pair had gone. That was until Breana and Matt were dancing and caught them kissing in the corner to the far side of the bar.
At first they were just gonna let them have at it, knowing how damn long it had been until the two had finally done something about the horrendous tension between them and the clear feelings they had for each other. But then, as the model and her fiance danced and giggled about Ella and Alex eating each other's faces and how they were about to just shag in front of everyone at that point, they noticed a big security guard glaring at them and talking through the radio clipped on his vest.
Bre narrowed her eyes suspiciously, anticipating something happening so she dragged Matt with her slowly to the edges of the dancing mass of people in the middle of the room. The man kept talking through his radio, his eyes never leaving Ella and Alex and it seemed like he was becoming annoyed by the behavior of the couple.
Sure enough, it looked like he had gotten an instruction through the radio and he started taking slow and steady steps towards them. It made Breana flinch, before her mind could process, she told Matt, "You get Alex, I'll get Ella."
The model had no idea how fast she'd gone, but she grabbed Ella's wrist and snatched her away from Alex in a split second before the security guard could get there.
Ella whined at the loss of Alex, her lips swollen, pink and wet but begging to have Alex's mouth back on them. A sheer coat of sweat was clear on her skin when the lights of the place fell on her from time to time, and her hair was disheveled in a subtle way under the cowboy hat which haphazardly took home on her head still.
"Are you fucking joking Bre?!" Ella complained loudly when Breana took her to the opposite end of the bar, far away from the man who had been planning on approaching her and Alex.
Breana saw the stern look on his face as she tried to settle Ella down, "Ella–"
Ella was fuming though, no explanation was enough to have ruined the moment for her, "No, why would you do that?!"
It was a childish tantrum she was throwing but Bre knew she was drunk so she couldn't blame her. Softly cupping her face, Bre whispered, "Hey. Hey." trying to get Ella to look at her. When she did, Bre kept eye contact to promise, "Trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow."
"Oh fuck off." Ella spouted with venom laced in her words.
Bre sighed in frustration before explaining, "That guard was about to kick you and Alex out. You need to either calm down or stop."
When Ella followed the way Breana was pointing at and saw the man from the bathrooms, she rolled her eyes, "Of course, that fucking cockblocker."
"Christ, you're drunk." Bre winced. She was growing more relieved by the second that she'd interrupted just for the sake of Ella's feelings and her mind not being a mess in the morning.
She'd seen Ella overthinking before and she had no idea how bad it would get if she and Alex got to do something while drunk and then him leaving to continue the tour the very next day. Or in the next hour, more like. And she already knew how it had ended the last time they'd been drunk and gotten horny.
"M'not!" Ella countered, stomping her foot on the floor like a kid.
But she wasn't a kid and Breana was straight up about what was going through her head, "You are! And now I'm even more glad I did this." Ella was done with the conversation, all that she was thinking of Bre in that moment was that she was a cockblocker and had ruined it all for her.
To impede her from leaving, Bre held Ella's and forced her to stay while she said, "Remember the morning after Nick and Kelly's wedding?" She felt the director freeze in her place, her muscles tensing at the reminder of that shitshow. Bre knew she had struck a nerve but Ella needed to realize that if she really wanted it to work out, she had to think properly and be sober to put her feelings first, which were the one thing that mattered most—if she was just horny, she could use her own fingers—but she couldn't ruin this potential with Alex. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Wanna go fuck him in the bathroom and then what's gonna happen in the morning? A repeat of that bullshit?"
With her jaw clenched, Ella huffed. "Don't."
"You know I'm right." Bre let out another sigh, she didn't want to seem like a bitch, she was just trying to guard Ella from fucking up her chances and hurting her own feelings by going about it all too impulsively. "I'm not doing this to upset you, I'm doing it to protect you from it all going to absolute shit again. You both need to be in all your senses if you want it to happen."
Ella felt like she was being scolded. Every bit of adrenaline evaporated from her body, and she felt herself coming down from the high she'd been on. She even felt like the drunken haze she'd been swirling in was dissipating, the annoyance and anger having sobered her up slightly.
Breana got her two water bottles before they could go back to the table, and when she got there, Alex was already sitting on his spot and offered her a loopy smile before waving her over to him.
This time she took a seat beside him, opening one of the water bottles and taking the hat off her head before leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder.
He'd been less audibly angry at Matt than Ella had been at Breana, but when he heard the drummer say that the security man had been coming towards them, he stopped glaring at his best mate with fury, understanding they'd gotten them away from trouble. Alex made a mental note to keep an eye out for the man so as not to get in trouble again; he'd said they'd get kicked out after all and that was the last thing he wanted.
Alex just wanted to keep enjoying the night with his darling by his side, just like she was right then.
About an hour went by after that incident. Ella had progressively sobered up thanks to the water she'd been ingesting and dancing away with the girls multiple times. She'd placed the cowboy hat back on the very second she got up from her seat the first time she went with the girls, and the thought of her making sure it was on her head before leaving made Alex's stomach flip.
She'd taken Alex with her to the dancefloor a couple times but since the group accompanied them as well, nothing like before had happened. Their giggles got lost between the music when they danced, their touch on each other more innocently than before—except for the times he let his hand playfully fall to her ass and she'd indulged in it completely happy to have that happen anyways.
For once, Ella had left her camera home—since she planned on drinking, she was aware of the fact that she'd be very clumsy and could drop it, lose it one way or another, or just forget it—so it had been Breana to bring her camera and be in charge of the pictures that evening.
She'd taken loads of pictures at the table already, making sure to document every moment and comically taking pictures of every one of the lads with their cowboy hats on before making the girls take their pictures with the lads' hats on.
Many of the girls on the dancefloor had been taken too but Bre had left the camera behind when they'd go more times than not, so when the whole group went to dance, she made sure to take the device with her.
They wouldn't know until weeks later how good those pictures had turned out to be. Not only technically speaking, but in terms of the moments that had been captured. Nick doing a funny dance with Jamie scowling in the background, Katie trying to balance her glass on her head, Kelly and Nick dancing while he held her belly from behind, Bre showing off her ring to the camera while adjusting her cowboy hat on her head.
When the lenses had been aimed at Ella and Alex, they'd stopped dancing to press their cheeks together and smile brightly—their grins so big, their eyes closed.
Bre focused the shot and once she got it perfectly, she counted down, "One, two, three!"
But the second the model yelled out three, Alex broke his smile to run his tongue flat on Ella's face, from her chin, over her lips and to her nose. There the tip of his tongue got stuck inside her nostril for a split moment before it ended up following its path up the bridge of her scrunched up nose. The shutter had gone off right in the middle of that.
The giggles that fell from Ella's lips gave Alex life. His heart swelled inside his chest and burst with love, so without much to think about, one of his hands coming to cup her face while the other held onto her waist to pull her in a dizzying kiss. A teeth-rottingly cute moment that had also been captured by Bre's camera.
In between pictures and kissing and dancing, the group got lost in the music, enjoying the moment so much that time kept flying by unbeknownst to their distracted minds.
Since it had been a while she'd had a drink, and she felt a lot more sober, Ella felt the need to get herself something from the bar. She and Alex had stolen Jamie's drink earlier and been sharing sips but she wanted her own, so she told him she'd be going to get herself a drink. He nodded and Ella knew he was about to go with her but she told him to stay with their friends and that she'd be back in no time.
Reluctantly, he agreed. Watching her walk away was a sight to behold: those legs of hers strutting up to the bar, her skirt barely covering her ass now after all the dancing and squeezing Alex had done. His fingertips tingled at the thought of touching her again, he just wanted to be all over her again.
So he slithered his way through the crowd out to the edge of it but before he could fully escape it and he watched as she waited for the bartender to take her order, a guy waiting around as well walked up to her and started chatting her up.
Ella's eyes were barely on the guy after he said hello because she watched as Alex walked out of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face. She barely listened as the stranger went on about how beautiful she was and, after he asked where she was from and she'd said she was a local, how weird it was that he'd never seen her before if she was from Manchester; her gaze was on Alex who was smirking oddly at the situation.
She was lost in how his fingers combed through his hair, the slight raise of his brow as if challenging her to go along, those lips she'd tasted all night long slightly parted as he watched.
Her ears barely caught the "Huh?" that the guy had uttered before he pulled back to watch her awaiting an answer, so she looked at him and said, "Sorry, what was that?"
The guy laughed, slightly amused, wrongly taking it as if she was trying to play hard to get but it truly was that she was plainly ignoring him.
"I said, whose hat is that anyway? Don't see you here with anyone."
He was bold, Ella would give him that but that didn't hold her back from rolling her eyes before placing them back on Alex, who's gaze burned on her and filled her with a prickling feeling from head to toe.
She didn't really feel the need to waste her breath answering, so she simply pointed behind the man at the singer and when he caught Alex's figure leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink with a deadly glare on his eyes, he nodded.
"Right." He sounded gutted and it almost had Ella breaking down in laughter. "Sorry."
"No worries." Ella replied, giving him a fake pity smile and patted his shoulder like he was a little kid she was faking to be sad to tell unimportant bad news to.
As soon as the stranger was gone, Alex started making his way up to Ella. There was a hungry look on his face, and she felt almost like a prey watching as she was about to get pounced on.
A rush of heat traveled between her legs and it grew in intensity, not only because of having been unable to attend to it before, but because when he reached her, his left hand came to grab a handful off her ass to pull her flush against him. His fingers dug into her over the fabric of her skirt, pinky managing to burn onto her skin as it pressed on a spot the satin couldn't cover.
Ella's hands pressed on his chest, eye contact unwavering as her fingers danced up over his shirt, past the bolo tie she'd gifted him and when they found his thin gold chain, she fiddled with it like she was unsure of continuing with what she wanted to do. Bre's words reverberated inside her mind, echoing annoyingly with a logic that she couldn't deny was valid.
"Was he bothering you?" He made sure to ask first, and if the answer was positive he'd be off to break that twat's nose in a second.
But she shook her head, licking her bottom lip before she cheekily let him know, "He just wanted to know whose hat this is."
Under her hands, she felt the vibration of his hum and it reverberated deep inside her, making her bite her lip not to make a noise of her own in response.
There was an underlying meaning when he looked down to her parted mouth and back up to her eyes and he said, "Mine, yeah?" It was so vague and, even though they were talking about the hat, it felt like they both knew it went further than that.
She was breathless by then, a heavy breath pushing past her lips that he felt hit his own mouth. She nodded so faintly anyone else could've missed it, but not Alex, he was watching her so intently and waiting for her answer.
It didn't take longer for it to reach his ears, a shaky "Yeah, yours." that sounded like it was coated in thick honey, so sweet he could melt to his knees right in front of her.
So much rushed through his brain at the confirmation. Yours. He wanted to make her his so badly, there wasn't a thing on the planet he wanted more than for Ella to be truly his but there wasn't much he could do now.
Just one thing.
His drink was hastily dropped with a thud over the bar, and his now free hand came to cup her jaw firmly to pull her into another kiss. Feeling her plush lips slotting between his was heaven, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close and her fingers tangling in her hair at the nape of his neck drove him mad.
He groaned hard when she opened her mouth to greet his tongue, each other's wetness meeting and tasting the alcohol they had been drinking all night. His fingers dug harsher into her ass and in response she offered him a soft moan that he swallowed gladly as he intensified the kiss.
It was as if losing count of how many drinks they'd had hadn't been responsible for their dizziness, instead it was the way their lips melted together and their tongues lapped at each other like there wasn't time to waste.
And there really wasn't, but their breaths grew heavy as they went and they broke the kiss with a loud smack that rang in their ears just in time for Ella to be tapped on the shoulder and get her order taken.
She barely gave herself time to tell the man behind the bar to give her two whiskey and cokes because she hurried to turn back around and cup Alex's jaw to clash their mouths together again. A moan rumbled through him at the pressure of her mouth on his, loving the desperation it exuded.
But he remembered he had to be careful about the man having his eye out for them so that they could properly enjoy their time together there. He pulled back with an enamored grin that had her stealing one last chaste peck of his lips before he suggested, "Shall we go sit down?"
Ella nodded without really thinking, she just wanted him close and she'd follow wherever he wanted to go then.
When they got back to the table, it was unfortunate how she took her own seat but he didn't let the half foot distance between them deter him. He pulled on her chair so it'd be pressed right next to his and, as they got thrown into their friend's conversation, Alex used the fact that the table was covering them up to have his hand rest on the top of her naked thigh. Not that they really needed to hide anything anymore, their friends had seen a lot happen already and they wouldn't be surprised about his touch on her.
She felt herself throbbing and becoming more uncomfortably wet the more he brushed his fingers on the skin of her thighs, cheekily letting his digits go further up and inside, enough to brush against the damp fabric of her underwear and have her struggling not to let out a sound.
In a desperate attempt to gain control over Alex's touch but not lose it completely, Ella clutched his wrist and kept him in place before she crossed her leg over the other.
A "Fuck..." came as a low mumble from him, her heat radiating right into his hand which was now trapped between her legs and he truly wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to take her right then and there.
Ella turned to glance at him, just to scour his reaction to what she'd just done and lust was written all over his face. She wanted trouble, it seemed like, because she clenched her thighs together slightly, letting out a small whimper that only he heard. Alex's fingers harshly dug into the flesh of her thigh in response, not like a threat, but a taste of how badly he wanted her.
Alex took out his phone to check on the time, trying to see how much time they could have if they were to leave the place right then. He needed her so badly, he would leave the party right then no matter how early it could be.
But they had lost grasp of the notion of time because a horrendous 02:30 am flashed on his screen and he knew that it would be soon that they'd have to leave to go back to Ella's. They were gonna barely make it as well and he was sure that Steve would be fuming at him the following day since he had let the band stay a day longer if they promised to be in Pittsburg by noon. It was over nine hours to get there so that promise was long broken by then.
Over his shoulder, Ella managed to catch a glimpse of the time and her mischievous expression fell into a sad pout. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, wholeheartedly despaired, "I don't want you to go."
He nodded. He didn't want to go either, he wished he could stay there with her and tell her how much he loved her in every way possible: with words, with his body, with his lips, moving mountains and bringing her the moon down from the sky if she wanted. He'd do anything.
"Not yet." He mumbled with his face turned to the side to look at her better.
Her gaze fell to his lips, they looked so irresistible and after having had them on hers multiple times throughout the night, she felt greedy and took another kiss from him. It was cute this time. Started as an elongated peck that deepened into a slow meaningful one when he moved in his chair and cupped her face delicately.
Before relaxing back on his chair, Alex stole a few pecks. It made her smile like a fool, and though she wanted to yell at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so obvious, she just couldn't not become putty in his hands when he was sweet like that.
She uncrossed her legs to let his hand free then, but he didn't let her take herself away from him that easily—his hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, his hands coming to rest over her thighs which he grabbed with a hint of possessiveness. His left hand cupped the flesh of her thighs with determination while he used his right hand to just rest on her thigh and rub soothing circles on her skin. The contrast made her swoon, she kept trying to focus on their friends conversing around them but her gaze was drawn back to his touch on her again and again.
Thirty minutes. They had thirty more minutes.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.
Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.
The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.
It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.
Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.
He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.
Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."
Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.
"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.
"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."
Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.
All he could properly do was kiss her.
The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.
It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.
She didn't know if the alcohol was making it feel so much worse or if it was the fact that she'd come out of denial that made it so much more atrocious to have to see him go. All that it would take was her letting those words out, properly; yet, she didn't know if she was brave enough to be heard and then left behind for his responsibilities right after. If he were to reciprocate, she would run away with him from everything—if he felt the same, all he had to do was say the words and she'd go with him.
Yet, she didn't know for sure, but what she knew for a fact was that rejection and a goodbye on the same night would kill her, and she wasn't brave enough then to take her chances.
"Mr. Turner, we need to go." The voice of the bus driver interrupted them, making them separate with a sigh.
Their eyes were still close, foreheads pressed together and noses touching. They just didn't want to let go, they didn't want to start the course of distance after all that had happened in the past forty eight hours.
Alex sighed heavily, his eyes still closed as he muttered softly, "Fucking hate this."
Ella let a sad smile softly break on her face and she was about to say that she hated it too when Jamie walked out of the bus and informed Alex, "Mate, Steve is calling."
The sole mention of their tour manager, who had already been fuming in the groupchat when he learned that they were still not on the road, had Ella opening her eyes and tentatively pulling away from him. She whispered a simple, "Go." that broke her own heart.
Alex's eyes fluttered open and he brushed a strand of her behind her ear before teasing her delicately, "Thought you didn't want me to."
She couldn't find it in herself to sound playful, not when her chest felt like it was sinking into itself. "Don't wanna get you in trouble."
He shook his head, disapproving of her words. His thumb brushed her bottom lip before he corrected her, "No one I'd rather get me in trouble."
It made her want to scream at him, how smooth he was and how much harder he made it for her to say goodbye. If she only knew Alex was feeling the same, standing there teary eyed and pouting, begging him to stay and he was so close to actually telling everyone else to fuck off just to make her wishes come true. But she was so selfless, putting everyone first and it was devastating. He truly adored her.
One more kiss was shared, since they knew it'd be the last one until the next time they'd see each other again—and then it'd be a chance of will they, won't they since they were biting their tongues when it came to their feelings for each other. This kiss was similar to the previous one, but instead of feeling blue and their hearts breaking in their chests, it felt like a silent promise of a future to this, whatever it was so far.
"I'll see you soon, darling." Alex said sweetly when they parted.
She nodded, sniffling once more when more tears blurred her vision. "If you can have it even sooner, please do, sweets."
"Promise." Alex muttered, leaning in for another kiss. One last kiss. He needed one more, it felt like the last one hadn't been enough.
But it would have to be, because once more Jamie interrupted with an impatient, "Alex, mate." since Steve was blowing everyone's phones up with messages and calls.
Ella flinched when Alex yelled, "I'm fucking coming, fucking hell!" back in frustration.
He knew he'd have to apologize for that in a few minutes, Jamie not being the one to blame for the situation, but he couldn't not stay calm when he was being rushed through something so difficult. He frowned deeply, sure that if they were to be late the fans wouldn't have an issue waiting an hour or two more for the gig to start.
Before he could come back from his frustrated train of thought, he felt Ella's soft lips pressing a kiss in between his brows, instantly making his frown disappear and his expression to soften.
Devastating, that's what this all was. His heart hurt when he said, "Love you, darling." as a goodbye. Internally screaming out for her to understand that he meant it for real, with all of him in the way that his heart belonged to her and only her, that he was forever at her disposal.
All the while, her chest caved in when hearing those words and reciprocating wholeheartedly with a "Love you, sweets." that she prayed he would understand the real meaning to. That she'd be hers if he'd just ask, that she was willing to drop it all if he wanted her to be by his side until the end of times.
They both were so worried about trying to get the meaning behind their words across that they couldn't concentrate in reading each other's faces, because it was written so clearly on them and if they would just stop giving into their fears and waiting for the perfect moment, they'd already be enjoying each other in the way they'd been craving for so long.
Watching him walk up to the bus broke Ella's heart in a million little pieces. And when he turned around before stepping inside the vehicle, waving at her and blowing her a kiss, she felt all the tears she'd been holding back running down her cheeks.
She waved back at him with her free hand, and when she realized she still had his cowboy hat in hand, she put it on and blew him a kiss.
His. She was already completely his.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Ella had cried herself to sleep that night. And that had done nothing but worsen her hangover when she awoke to rush to the toilet at around ten in the morning.
She felt like utter shit as she threw up all of the alcohol she'd consumed the previous night, her throat aching by the time she felt like she was done, tears streaming down her cheeks from the force of it.
After brushing her teeth, she clumsily made it back to her bed and fell asleep once again.
It wasn't until she woke up again around four in the afternoon that every emotion she'd felt the previous night came back to her as if her soul had come back to her body.
That uncomfortable weight on her chest came back and the knot that formed on her throat was quick to block her breathing so her despair quickly turned into a panic attack that had her sobbing and gasping for air messily.
All of it dawned on her all over again. How in love she was with Alex, how fucking unfair it was to see him go again, knowing he'd be moving to Los Angeles soon but not knowing exactly when to know for sure what to do next. The fact that the tour was meant to continue until the end of the year made her even more unconsolable.
Ella had no idea what she'd done until her phone rang one last time in her ear and then Breana's voice rang through the speaker, "Good morning, missy. Sleep well?"
The model's tone was playful, like she was planning on teasing Ella from the get go, but a sob ripped through Ella's chest as she tried to say, "Bre–" and that was enough for Breana's smirk to completely fall.
She froze in her spot for a second, right by the catering table inside the Monkeys' greenroom, but when Ella's cries continued in a heart wrenching manner, Breana scrambled to leave the room, "What's wrong Ellie?"
It took Ella a few deep breaths before she could quiet her cries down enough to properly talk, "I can't do this– This is so fucking exhausting."
Bre quickly dashed through the venue's hallways until she made it out back. Her brows furrowed and her heart sank when hearing the pain behind her words, "What happened?"
A heavy sigh came first and then, a notion everyone had been waiting for Ella to come to terms with, "Bre, I think I'm– I'm in love with him." Breana couldn't stop the soft smile breaking on her face when hearing that, and it only got bigger when Ella got more intently about it by reiterating, "I am."
There wasn't a chance for her best friend to reply with anything, because Ella's desperate words came out of her quickly, "Oh fuck, I'm so in love with him and now he's gone and I can't stop thinking about him."
The sobs that were coming from Ella's end of the call were making Breana want to cry, so she pleaded with her best friend, "Ella, breathe please."
"Why is it always like this?!" Ella asked out to no one in particular, ignoring Breana's request because so much was going through her mind that she just couldn't keep in anymore. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"
Breana brushed her hair off her face stressfully, trying to find the best way to get Ella to stop overthinking, because that's what she was starting to do already.
"But it's not Ellie." Breana wholeheartedly refuted her, "Yesterday– God, you two were stuck to each other." And that was an understatement. "He really likes you, there's not a doubt in my mind that he does."
Ella had been remembering more and more of the party the more she thought about it after she woke up and everything she recalled happening with Alex brought her so much hope that she'd grown horrendously terrified of it all being a product of being under the influence. "We were so drunk Bre, what if it was just that?"
"But it isn't!" The conviction in Bre's words relieved Ella but also made her stomach flip with anxiety, "After all this time Ellie, do you really think he's not been pining after you?"
The silence that filled the call was loud when Ella couldn't answer the question.
Breana sighed, understanding why Ella was so wary about really giving it all a meaning, she didn't want to get rejected; but how could she when it was so obvious. So she painted the picture for her best friend, "It all adds up, and if anything, last night was the confirmation. Just think about it: you were kissing like horny teenagers, dancing and grinding on each other, his hands were never off you and you always had some hold on him too, giggling like idiots." A scoff of disbelief came from the model before she added, "You were stuck to each other the entirety of Sunday, so much so that Lily and Jayne asked multiple times if you were together and just hiding it."
Ella was speechless, hearing it like that felt like a huge eye opening moment. But Bre wasn't done, she continued with full faith on her own words, "I'm telling you, there's no way that this isn't it, Ellie."
Okay, Ella thought, if this is it, then what comes next? She was desperate to find an answer to that, "What do I fucking do then?"
"Tell him!" Breana replied in a split second, it was beyond obvious.
Yet, it didn't fit in Ella's brain how that could work when Alex was away. She refused to do anything about it if it was this way. "But I don't wanna do that through text, much less through a video call."
It was Bre's time to stay quiet, a few beats of silence passing before she hummed, "Yeah, I get that..."
Ella fiddled with her duvet, pulling on a loose string at the edge of it as she shared the piece of information that he'd confided in her and she had no clue if he'd shared with the rest of the group yet. "He's moving to LA. Has he told y'all yet?"
The model's brows shot up in slight surprise when hearing Ella already knew. Alex had only just told them all because the estate agent that she and Matt had worked with to get their house in April had contacted the drummer to ask Alex to give her an urgent call back since the singer wasn't answering his phone.
"He told us this morning."
"Fuck... I– I don't know what to do. When is it right? How do I even–?" Ella stumbled in her words, a new thought appearing on the forefront of her mind before she could finish the previous one, the cries that kept escaping her lips only making it harder to speak.
Breana smiled to herself, wishing she could be with Ella just to give her a hug and promise her it was all going to work out for her. "Ellie, babe, let's just focus on the good news here okay? He likes you, he really fucking does and that's enough for you to stop crying right now, okay?"
"Okay." Ella replied. Inhaling and exhaling steadily to calm herself down but when that pang of hurt pierced through her chest when she thought about how far away they all were, Ella gasped, "Oh god, Bre."
A chuckle escaped Breana's lips, she was still shocked it was the day that Ella finally said it out loud. "I know babe, I know."
"I'm in love with Alex." Ella whispered like it was the most insane secret to be uttered, like she had to keep it very quiet just in case. "What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, a hand coming over her mouth to hide the way her jaw hung open at her own shock.
"Took you long enough to realize." Bre scolded her like a little kid.
And to that Ella scoffed, "What does that mean?"
"Means you've been in denial for far too long. Please let yourself be happy this time. Don't overthink it, it'll be fine." If she kept trying to think too much into it, expecting the worst possible outcome, it would only cause her pain that she could spare herself if she was logical about it. So Bre had to be Ella's logic for now, "He's coming back to LA soon, he said the house would be his next week or something like that. You'll have your opportunity then, okay?"
The thought of it all happening so soon broke her down again, a weak broken, "Okay." coming from her side in response.
Bre's chest ached for her best friend, she needed her to stop crying. "Just breathe Ellie, please."
She heard Ella hum before she started inhaling and exhaling again until she calmed down and when the model heard a few sighs that sounded settled enough, she made sure to ask, "You feeling a bit better?"
"Yeah." Ella said, easier this time. It'll be alright. He likes me, and I'll tell him soon, she kept repeating to herself like a new mantra.
"Okay good. Now I gotta get back before Alex starts asking if something is wrong with you, but text me if anything, okay?" Breana had seen the singer whip his head around when she'd rushed out of the room and she'd hurriedly asked Ella if she was okay. She knew that she'd walk back into the greenroom and he'd be the first to ask if something had happened with Ella.
Another hum of confirmation came from Ella and Bre hoped that didn't mean she was still crying. With a heavy sigh, Bre bid her farewell sweetly, "I love you Ellie, it'll all be fine okay?"
Ella was so much calmer then, and she didn't know how to even properly thank her best friend. She got emotional all over again when she replied, "Love you too Bre. Thank you, you're the best."
"I know." Breana cheekily replied, making Ella snort out in laughter—that was enough to make her feel accomplished all over again. "Love you babe, bye!" Bre exclaimed as she walked back inside the venue backstage area.
"Bye! Love you!" Ella reciprocated, pressing the red button right after and staring at the ceiling with her hope restored.
It'll be alright, it'll all work out.
Those words kept echoing inside her brain as she replayed the events of the previous night.
Every laugh, every touch, every kiss, all of it.
It kept playing on loop, her brain fixating on some moments more than others like when he had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat and his leg slotted between hers, grabbing her ass to guide her into getting herself off on his thigh.
Fuck.
She hadn't meant to get all flustered when recalling it all, but her body quickly got hot at the memories. It was as if it remembered the many times her pleasure had been spiking only to plummet down when they were rudely interrupted.
That was why it had been so easy to let her hands roam around her body beneath the sheets, letting her eyes flutter close and imagine it was Alex instead, touching and pinching and pulling and scratching. That it was Alex pushing his fingers into her mouth, wetting them to finally touch her clit, circling it nicely and getting her all wet and ready for his fingers to mercilessly stretch her out how he wanted. Fitting two, three, four fingers in her and making her cry out in pleasure at the sting, scissoring his fingers inside her to get her ready for his cock. But not before curling his fingers perfectly to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her toes curl and having her cum all over his hand before he could sink all the way inside her.
Her orgasm hit her with force, sending her into a blacked out state. Her brain was fuzzy and her ears felt like they'd been filled with cotton after she came, her fingers cramping after she'd had a white knuckle grip on her bed sheets when she fell over the edge.
She was sweating, chest heaving and her mouth was dry. She needed a shower, some water and food. But mostly, him.
Ella had never had him but after feeling him so well through his jeans the night before, her mouth watered and her cunt throbbed to properly feel him for the first time.
She groaned in frustration as she walked into her bathroom. She needed to stop those thoughts before she made herself cum again, only to once again be disappointed it wasn't him who had done it when her eyes peeled open.
So Ella focused on making herself feel like a person again: taking a long hot shower that soothed her muscles and felt like a reset, changing into some comfortable clothes—having to put a hoodie over mostly because Alex had left a few love bites on her neck that she couldn't have her parents seeing if she wanted to avoid questions—and going downstairs to have some food and something to drink.
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(17/06/2014 19:37) Wish you were here with us. I really loved Manchester, don't think anywhere else will ever compare. Think I discovered a new side to you and it all just makes perfect sense. Can't wait to see you, darling. Soon, I promise. Love you xxxxx
Ella's stomach fluttered when she woke up and unlocked her phone to that text. She kicked herself mentally for missing it entirely the previous day—she'd gone downstairs after showering and she'd found her parents in the living room watching a movie, one that they paused and ended up discarding completely when they caught Ella going to the kitchen to have something to eat and started asking her all about her long weekend.
Her loopy grin had been impossible to hide as she recounted her four days spent on the festival, how it had been seeing the lads playing there and having them over at home. She eagerly recounted going to see the horses and taking them to the river, taking a few pictures and teaching Katie, Matt and Alex how to ride a horse properly.
Her mom had the biggest smirk when she asked about the party though, and it made Ella blush. Ella wasn't as open about her dating life with her parents as Lily was, usually waiting to speak about anyone she'd been seeing until it got a bit more serious—Grace didn't know a thing about what had happened back in 2012 with Alex until after Julian had broken Ella's heart; when she'd come home after that, she'd let it all out to her and Lily and it truly was a roller coaster of emotions because when the story time started, they hated Alex but by the end of it, they warmed up to him all over again after learning how he'd been taking care of Ella.
But Ella knew that look on her mom's face meant something else so she'd sighed and openly asked her, "You wanna know about Alex, don't you?" Her parents' eager nodding was enough of an answer for her to come clean about it all to them.
It had gone way better than she thought, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she went on and on about how sweet he was, how thoughtful and caring. She had stuttered through the recalling of them kissing at the party, omitting the non-PG details of their night, and getting a bit worked up when telling them about the moment they had to say goodbye.
Grace had been cooing audibly all throughout, Parker laughing a bit when seeing Ella recoiling into herself when she got embarrassed about her mom's reactions.
"You two are adorable." Grace smiled sweetly at her daughter, her heart swelling in her chest out of pure joy to see Ella so happy with Alex.
Parker nodded, agreeing with his wife, but he needed to ask the one thing they'd been wondering all along, "So are y'all together then?"
They watched as Ella's face fell, her features covering up with sadness at the simple question. Except it wasn't simple at all, not the debate within herself, nor the circumstances they found themselves in.
"No. No, we're not." She mumbled, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and fiddling with them while she got the courage to say loudly to someone else than Breana. "I'm in love with him. Really am, but it's complicated."
Her parents frowned, not really understanding how it could be complicated, "Complicated?" Parker asked, he was entirely sure Alex liked Ella, there was no denying when the singer looked at Ella the way he did.
They watched as she took a shaky breath, her gaze falling to her lap as she tried not to get upset about it again. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore though, and crying about it seemed like the only way to cope with it.
"Well he's still on tour and we barely see each other, and I don't wanna tell him through the phone." She sniffled when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her parents grabbed one of her hands each and she looked up at them, teary eyed but with a thankful smile. "He's moving to LA and I– I don't know exactly when, but I know that I'm telling him once I know he's there and staying. Maybe after the tour ends at the end of the year. I don't know how I would be able to cope with a long distance relationship if I told him before."
Grace offered her daughter an understanding side smile, but she had to disagree with Ella's plans, "I think you should tell him honey. Through the phone or even if you just get to see him once and he has to go. You can't keep hurting yourself by staying silent because you're scared of distance." She shook her head because the thought of her daughter crying daily because of the guy she loved being far away hurt her tremendously. "You can't say you're not gonna be able to make a long distance relationship work when true love can work through it all."
Ella frowned, her tears rapidly rolling down her cheeks then, "'That's so cliche, mom."
"But it's true! Love finds a way, honey." Grace squeezed Ella's hand, as if that helped make her words more real. "And distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it would only make it better when you two see each other again, if you know what I mean." Grace joked with a smirk and wiggling her brows.
It made Ella chuckle, which turned into a cackle when Parker audibly complained and gagged about the lewd insinuation. But the director wasn't sure her mom was understanding the situation, "I'm not even sure if he likes me like that, mom. I– Bre says he does or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did last night but what if it was just the drinks? I mean I hope it wasn't just that but I can't get my hopes up like that, I would be broken if he doesn't feel the same."
Ella's dad stared at her with an amused smile on his face, which Ella scowled at and asked, "What? What's funny?"
Parker shrugged, "That you think he doesn't like you back, or love you for that matter." He sighed and Ella was about to open her mouth to say something but he lifted his finger up and tutted. "No, hold on." He took a few seconds to put his thoughts in order before he spoke, "Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to add the way he always keeps you close, which made me want to pull him aside and ask him a few things many times. Us and your sister had been wondering all day long if you two were together and just hiding it 'cause you didn't want your old man bothering your boyfriend—you didn't like it when I threatened that other stupid boy back when you brought him home so..."
Ella went to speak again, but her dad wasn't done. "And then, Lily tells us you were even worse the day before at the festival? I mean, we were expecting you to pull us aside and quickly tell us you two were dating before going to that party." Parker shook his head, his confidence in his words was unwavering, "There's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same. You just need to tell him and spare yourself the tears, sweetie. Breaks my heart seeing you cry like this but you need to do it if he's not gonna do it first."
Hearing Bre's words had helped her slightly but it all resonated louder when it came from her parents.
"D'you really think so?" She asked shyly, needing some more confirmation.
Her parents nodded in sync, but it was her dad who spoke, "I don't think so. I'm sure hun."
After that, a smile stayed on Ella's face until she went back to her room. She'd taken her hoodie off before getting in bed, and when her gaze fell on the couple of bruises Alex had left on her neck, she giggled like a schoolgirl before throwing herself on her bed and sighing when thinking of him until she fell asleep.
With quick fingers, she texted him back as soon as she'd seen the text the following morning. Butterflies fluttered uncontrollably in her stomach as she went over his message once again before sending her reply.
(18/06/2014 10:03) Miss you so much sweets. My heart is full hearing you loved it here and I'm glad it makes sense, this place is all of me, my soul really. Oh I can't wait to have you back in LA!! Let me know how everything with the house goes, okay? Love you more xxxxx
She felt like a Disney princess as she got out of bed, opening her window to hear the birds chirping outside and humming a soft tune as she got ready for the day.
She was planning on spending the day helping around with the stable and the horses, maybe cutting the grass with her dad or helping her mom clean the house before she had to go to the airport around seven in the evening. Her flight was leaving from Nashville, so her parents would have to drive her over to the city and it was around an hour long drive—it was gonna be a very long hectic day.
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By the time she had finished cleaning around the stable, after taking Birdie out for a lengthy stroll, the clock was painfully nearing three in the afternoon so she knew she had to rush inside, have some lunch, quickly finish packing her case, tidy up her childhood room and get ready for the airport.
She looked crazy going around tossing her things into her open case in just a towel with her wet hair dripping all over her wooden floor. She tried her best to multitask, eating a sandwich she'd made herself as she blow dried her hair and picked up the mess of makeup she'd left atop of her dresser.
Thankfully her efforts to hurry up paid off and she was in the backseat of her dad's truck about a bit over two hours before her flight.
She got there with an hour and a half to spare before her flight was meant to leave and she was so glad to see that there weren't big lines around the place so she could go through quickly and be at her gate with enough time to spare to get some food before boarding.
As always, hugging her parents goodbye was horrendously sad. It reminded her of the first time she'd left them to go to university and though she thought it would get easier with time, it never did.
She'd been crying even as she ordered herself a McDonalds meal before heading to her gate, the wave of emotions she'd felt for the past week making her pathetically cry as she ate her burger and fries.
But once the plane took off and she watched the city of Nashville getting smaller and smaller beneath them, she took the time to go back through the memories she'd made and she felt so warm and fuzzy inside at the collection of moments she was privileged enough to have stuck in her brain forever.
Going back to LA got her excited all over again, eager for what could happen if Alex closed the sale sooner than she was expecting, especially now that she had her parents' words echoing inside her mind which only helped her grow the courage to tell him.
She knew then, she wouldn't do it through text or through a call but if he closed the sale before the end of the month like he had said then he'd be coming to Los Angeles to sign and get his keys and she knew that it would be her perfect opportunity.
Her eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of being in the air back to her second home lull her to sleep.
It'll all be alright, it'll all work out.
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Around three in the morning Ella landed in LAX. Being back in the city made her smile, she really couldn't describe how it felt to be back there—it was like being twenty, hopeful and constantly daydreaming all over again.
When she was waiting for her suitcase to come rolling around at baggage claim, she checked her phone and her heart grew in size when she saw a new message from Alex.
(18/06/2014 23:51) Miss you so much more darling. I'll be back very soon, I think the sale closes next week, but I'll let you know for sure as soon as I find out. And that's impossible, I love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxx
Ella threw her head back, biting her tongue not to giggle like an idiot, but she looked pathetic enough smiling like a fool up at the ceiling of the airport.
She loved him so fucking much and it was starting to seem clear that maybe he did too. And the notion made her so incredibly giddy.
So much so that it didn't matter that she'd gotten back home at half past four in the morning and she'd showered and gone to sleep for barely five hours. She didn't care that she'd had to scramble to get ready to go to work, and she smiled brightly at everyone who greeted her when she arrived at the office.
She'd let herself freely blush when Ben came to her office to ask about how it'd gone and teased her about Alex for most of the time. The director had even managed to get out of her that she did like the singer, and she'd let out a bubbly laugh when he'd exclaimed he knew it all along.
But her elated mood had plummeted down when she opened up her Twitter app as she had lunch in her office.
She'd choked on the bite of chicken she'd taken when she saw a bunch of people sharing an article about Alex and Alex, who had apparently been paparazzied in New York just that morning.
Of course, Ella's curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the article. How she wished she hadn't made that mistake, how she wished she hadn't followed a bunch of Arctic Monkeys related accounts on Twitter so that stupid article hadn't shown on her timeline to begin with.
She was trying her best not to loudly sob in her office, but still desperately trying to get ahold of Breana to let it all out because it really fucking hurt—she was the one who knew about her feelings for Alex, the only one she could tell this to at least.
The second Breana picked up, Ella whimpered, not even trying to hide that she was upset, "I'm so fucking stupid Bre."
"What happened?" The model sounded panicked.
"Why did I have to go and fall in love with a fucking famous musician when I'm just another boring, normal girl?!" She frowned in frustration, aware she sounded like a child but she just felt insignificant.
Bre frowned, entirely confused by her words, "Okay first off, you're not a boring normal girl. And second, what's happening woman?! I'm so confused over here."
"This fucking article." Ella sobbed, muffling her cries with her hand. She breathed deeply a few times to calm down before she could explain, "Alex and Alexa were photographed together in New York earlier today, and they're saying how there's been rumors about them 'rekindling their relationship' ever since Jamie and Katie's wedding."
This was news to the model, she hadn't heard shit about anything happening between Alex and Alexa and she literally was part of the lads' close circle so to her those rumors sounded like utter bullshit to her. "Ella, it could be nothing. You know how the tabloids are."
But Ella had been on the phone to Alex when Alexa had appeared outside, bumping into him. And it had been entirely fine then, she was mostly sad she hadn't been able to be there but this article made her mind start spinning; especially since her very own name was written in it. "They mention me, Bre. And they make it sound like I'm just... a nobody." She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as she read out loud what it said, "It goes: 'Another mysterious woman had been linked to the rockstar not that long ago. Around the time the band headlined Glastonbury for a second time, a few fans managed to bump into the pair in the streets of Manchester and Turner's native Sheffield, and caught that her name was Ella.'"
Bre's face fell as she heard all that, afraid for her best friend's privacy having been breached just for the tabloids to chat wank, "Oh shit."
But Ella got hurt all over again when she glanced at what came next, "No wait, it gets fucking worse." Clearing her throat, her words came filled with anger as she read them to Breana, "'After a bit of research, the identity of the woman was revealed to be Eleanor Hayes, one of the directors of the latest AM music video and the one credited to be behind the camera in the upcoming documentary of the recording of the Monkeys' fifth studio album. She's also been credited as a PA for many of the Arctic Monkeys' previous music videos and the photographer to capture a bunch of our favorite pictures of the band. It is unsure if there was ever anything between the singer and the director, but all we can say is that you definitely don't hold hands with just a work acquaintance nor do you take her out to the pub and a game of footy with your dad. But any intrigue that was still lingering when it came to the pair has been thrown out the window now that we have seen these pictures of the iconic couple in the streets of New York. It feels refreshing to see things go back to how they were and what better news to wake up to than Alex and Alexa finding their way to each other. Maybe that engagement will work out this time around? We just hope we get a spot in the guest list!'"
When the director read that last sentence, her voice broke and she barely managed to finish reading the ending of the dreadful piece. Bre felt her chest getting heavy for her, only being able to let out a soft, "Ella..." as she tried to look for words to console her.
"I feel sick." She'd pushed her food away after reading the article for the first time. The mention of a previous engagement made her blood run cold and the tears had started falling instantly.
Yet, Bre was entirely sure it was purely a situation where the media was just trying to get clicks. She didn't even know he'd seen Alexa in New York and they were already in Delaware to play a festival. "Don't pay that attention. It's bullshit."
"But what if it's not?" Ella whispered in desperation. Every bit of hope she'd had, had dissipated like smoke in the wind. Was there even a point if there was a window open for him and Alexa? I mean, in her head the decision wasn't hard: the model, fashion guru, it girl, internet sensation, tv host Alexa Chung; and then there was her, just another director and photographer that lived in the city of angels. The city was littered with more hers, he could find another her without any effort, but there wasn't really another Alexa Chung.
Ella just wanted to disappear and never come back. She felt pathetic and embarrassed to even think she had a chance in the first place. It pained her having to have Alex be one of those people she fell for but nothing happened, one that would forever haunt her what-ifs, and it would be easier to completely push herself aside but it would hurt so much more to lose him.
Fuck!!! Her head was going to explode.
"He hasn't said anything about Alexa all day babe. I promise you." Bre swore through the phone, because she and the guys had been chatting the whole way there and the name of his ex had never been brought up.
Ella wasn't looking at the positives of that statement though, all that it meant to her then is that he was keeping a secret, and that just made it so much worse. "But–"
"No. No buts." Breana wasn't going to allow Ella to belittle herself and throw herself down a rabbit hole that would just make her cry even more and break her own heart in the process, "Nothing's happening between them." She easily said, because she was completely sure of it and the model prayed that the words resonated with the same conviction inside Ella's head. But just in case it didn't, she needed to put forward some solid proof, "Do you think he would've been like that with you in Tennessee if there was anything going on between them?"
No! her subconscious said, he wouldn't have!! But she wasn't sure what to believe or think anymore, her head was a mess. "I don't– Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do."
She was starting to grow desperate, all the words she'd thought of telling him tickling her insides as if wanting to get out of her chest. Was there even something she could do?! She had no idea.
"Stop stressing." Breana said as she tried to find answers within her, but nothing to her knowledge could settle Ella down; all she could do was try to calm her down with her words.
Ella scoffed, "Yeah well, easier said than done, Bre."
"I know but–," Bre had no idea what to say, "It's gonna be alright Ellie, you'll see." She had a feeling, a hunch that this was nothing and that everything would work out for Ella soon. She frowned thinking back to the words of the article, "I didn't even see them talking at Cookie's wedding, what the fuck are they on about?"
"Oh well, I did." Ella chatted back exasperatedly, "Was on the phone to him and then she came up to him so I ended the call."
"Fuck." Bre muttered under her breath, entirely unaware of that.
A chuckle rid of any amusement came from Ella in response, "Yeah, fuck."
Ella sounded so deflated, a heavy tinge of pessimism that was uncharacteristic of her coating her words. Breana was used to Ella's overthinking and being superstitious, not being entirely cynical and nihilistic, "No. Stop. Nothing's happening there, I know it."
"Hmm." Ella hummed just purely to sound like she was listening, Bre's words slipping right through her ears.
"Do I need to remind you about the party?" Bre made an effort to make Ella see the facts again.
The sole mention of that night made Ella's heart heavy, "No, because I will cry again." Her warning had been too late because she immediately whimpered as tears started falling again at the flashing memory of them kissing, the passion with which he held her and touched her that she just didn't know what to make of anymore.
"No, Ella, don't cry." Breana begged with her voice dropping to a whisper full of pity.
Ella sobbed the quietest she could, dreading having someone hearing her, but despite her voice falling to a broken whisper, Breana's heart broke as if she had let out a heart wrenching scream, "I feel so pathetic."
"You're not. It's fine. I promise." She scrambled for another way to confirm that those rumors were just bullshit, hurriedly assuring Ella, "I'll ask Matt."
Sniffling and calming herself down with deep breaths, "Okay."
"But it's nothing, okay?" Breana said again, "You hear me?"
"Yeah." Ella let out with her voice wavering.
From afar, Bre watched as Alex and Matt walked towards her with amused frowns on their faces as she'd ran away from them the second her phone rang.
Faking a smile, she waved at them, only to turn around and quickly reiterate, "I love you. You're fine, it's all fine. It'll all be fine."
"Yeah. Love you." Ella replied quietly, as if she was working on automatic drive.
Out of the corner of her eye, Breana watched as her fiance started jogging towards her with a smirk on his face, looking as if he was planning on tackling her as a joke. "I gotta go but text me, okay? Don't be upset."
Ella hummed hearing Bre's hurried words, knowing it meant she was busy so she bit her tongue to not cry again.
"I love you!" Breana exclaimed before ending the call.
The truth was that Ella didn't want to be alone with her thoughts but unfortunately the world kept moving despite hers feeling like it had come to a full stop.
And now she had to swallow it all back and act like nothing was happening because Alex had technically done nothing wrong and if she wanted answers then she'd have to take her heart out and hand it to him and she really wasn't sure that that was something she wanted to do anymore.
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A/N: I hope you didn't think I was gonna give you a smooth ride by the end of this just because it's the last few chapters hehehehe. But I do hope you enjoyed this and you're welcome to yell at me all you want, I'll allow it lollll Still can't believe how long this chapter is but I know it'll take me a bit to come back with the next one so I'm glad I can leave you with a treat while the next chapter is in the works. Sending yous lots of love and I hope you have an amazing week, mwahh!!! xxxxx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum
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pisshandkerchief · 9 months
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When I got into Fall Out Boy on the tail end of last year I never imagined I'd be here. I remember learning all the lore and getting to know the band in the middle of the Stardust release cycle, feeling a little out of the loop, like I was late to the party (kind of like how I felt with MCR). but you guys have made me feel so welcomed and loved, even if I'm so much newer here than the rest of you. I'll never forget getting excited over every new song teaser, laughing and joking about every new music video and TikTok from the band, watching everyone be so supportive of Joe on his mental health break, being so happy when he felt good enough to come back. I'll never forget watching all the interviews, picking them apart with my mutuals, seeing first hand all the love and respect for each other the members of this band have. To get a little personal here, I was in a tough place in my life when Stardust was first announced. I was in my senior year of highschool, and for awhile I didn't have a phone, so I had to keep up with Tumblr at night, on a shitty old computer. At school I would listen to every song teaser in class and talk to some of my Tumblr friends on Google chat about it because it was my only option. I remember as soon as Stardust came out I downloaded it onto my old iPod and listened to it every night to fall asleep. It was so important to me to have this thing I could connect with people over. To witness this band who love each other so much, who pour that love out in every interview, who spread it to the world through the music they make, who are so open and honest about their mental health, who say that it's ok to feel despair, to be frustrated with the world, that sometimes life does feel meaningless, but you can find pleasure in the details, you can always pick yourself up and keep going, because there will always be people who want you whole: that meant the world to me. I bonded with one of my closest friends, Charlie, over Fall Out Boy. The first vinyl I ever bought was the gold special edition of So Much (For) Stardust. The first concert that I actually wanted to go to, that I chose for myself, was the Fall Out Boy show I went to with Charlie (this was also the first time I had the privilege of meeting an online friend in person. it's an experience I'll never forget, and one I hope I get to repeat).
This has gotten rambly, but what I'm trying to say is this: there is so much love in this community. Love for the band, love for the music, love for each other. I may not have been with Fall Out Boy for very long but I know this is going to stick with me. I feel so honored to be experiencing perhaps the best (and definitely the happiest) era of Fall Out Boy as it happens. I feel so honored to be experiencing it with all of you and I hope that we stay in touch. I don't have the words to describe how much this album, this tour, this band, has meant to me already. Thank you. All of you. Fall Out Boy forever 💜
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sekai-no-reita · 6 days
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A letter to Reita... From my heart to yours.
(Under the cut for your sake.)
My dearest れいた,
I know you will not be able to read this letter, but I hope these words still reach you wherever you are; from one soul to another.
I don't even know where to begin... I never thought I would have to write a goodbye letter like this to you. This all feels like a bad dream that I cannot wake up from.
I followed you and your journey with the GazettE for 18 long years.. I grew up with you. It feels like I've lost a dear friend, a family member, if you will. There are no words to describe this grief I'm feeling. Believe me, I have tried...
You guys were with me through everything from my teenage years to this day. If I was happy, you were there. If I was sad, you were there. You were always there. I could always rely on you being by my side when I needed you.
When you came to Finland for the first time in 2007 I queued outside the venue in the cold late October weather all night long, just so I could get a good viewing spot for the gig. It was insane... I was so cold and sleep deprived on the day of the gig, only having slept for like an hour, haha. But when you guys came on stage, none of it mattered. I was so happy. It was a dream come true.
And that's when I fell in love with you, Reita. That was the turning point. I had been listening to your music for a little over a year by then but Ruki was the one who held my heart. But then you.. You captivated me the moment you stepped on that stage. Of course I had always noticed you, your basslines and talent but.. when I saw you play live, it was almost hypnotizing. Especially during RIDE WITH THE ROCKERS. I was so incredibly happy you played it that time. I still remember the way you moved your belly and hips and shoulders when you were standing in the spotlight... Being admired by everyone.
I was fortunate enough to see you guys live two more times; in 2013 and in 2016 during your world tours. Especially in 2016 when I had the VIP wristband and I got to meet you. I still remember how surreal it all felt to me. It was all like a dream. The most wonderful dream. I was supposed to tell you then how much I admired you, how talented you were. But I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Not with you staring at me with your (one visible) eye. All I managed to do was give you the little gift bag with the bracelet in it with a shaky "douzo". You were a little surprised by the gift and thanked me "Ahh, arigatou". Then you took my hand and we thanked each other again. Now I kick myself... I should've told you exactly how I felt. Now I will never get another chance to do it. Now you will never know...
You were so incredibly kind and sweet and caring...
Writing about you in the past tense breaks my heart. The world has lost something too pure, too beautiful.
Your passion towards the GazettE was a thing to admire. How you cared for your fans.. You never took anything for granted. All the tears you shed after your tour finals.. they were real (even when you in an interview joked that they were cgi *laugh*). That was how much you cared. That was your true strength.
There will never be anyone else like you.
The world will never be the same after losing you.
Your bass defined Gazette's music in a way. Everytime I listen to any of your songs, your bass stands out. It is incredible. I don't think any other band does that; puts the bass in such a spotlight. That's how important you are, ..were.
You are the reason I even own a bass. I wanted to be able to play like you. Sadly I cannot... I was too short-tempered and lost my nerve when I couldn't get my fingers to co-operate *laugh* But my bass is still there, waiting. Reminding me of you. Maybe one day I'll be able to pick it up again and think of you with a smile on my face.
I really do hope you know how loved you were -and still are-; by everyone. The band, the fans... How much you were respected by your peers and other musicians. You defined an era in v-kei. That's how important you were. Are.
There are so many more things I would like to say to you. But maybe another time. Maybe I'll write you another letter. Maybe someday I'll meet you again in the afterlife and I'll be able to tell you face to face everything I haven't been able to so far.
I hope you are now at peace and can rest.
I love and miss you so much.
Thank you for everything you have given me. It is a debt I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you.
Rest in peace, my beautiful angel.
With all my love,
Marisa
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thefatedthoughtofyou · 8 months
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Sweet Music Playing In The Dark (Be Still, My Foolish Heart) [Part One]
I'm super excited about this "fic" and am so happy to finally start sharing it with you guys! It's really gonna be more of like... a "not-fic" and mostly me rambling on and on about this world I've got in my head.
Some things will probably be contradictory because i constantly think of new things and ways to do things as i ramble, but it's just a loosey goosey overview of the thing! That I'm posting cuz i hope you guys will enjoy it too!
It's all pretty much based on inspiration I've gotten from listening to Bring Me The Horizon so it's almost all gonna be their songs, if i get the links to post! And i hope you enjoy listening to the songs as well! I'll post the song that inspired each part on each part!
It's a friends to lovers au! There will be some Buckingham as well, because Chrissy and Robin are together and have a band together and are Eddie and Steve's besties! Steve is with Nancy at the beginning but there's really not gonna be much details about them aside from the breakup! Eddie also has a partner at the beginning (i haven't decided who yet shh shh shh shh), but there will also be a breakup. Or maybe I'll just have him not able to find the right person. We'll see what happens! But i hope y'all enjoy the ride with me!!!
{ Cute little bat banner is by @1-800-shedevil }
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What if they know each other vaguely from robin and chrissy. They aren't close really, just see each other around. Passing in the studio sometimes. Or at events. They're each others besties friends. Besties in law maybe?They chat here and there.
And then covid happens. They're in lockdown. And chrissy and robin get tagged in some musical video challenge that's going around. So they do it, cuz they live together, and because they've been dying to see steve and eddie sing together, they tag them and pass it on. They have each others numbers because of chrissy and robin importance. So they'll both see it. And eddie sends steve a song name, some 80s song, he remembers them chatting about how they love 80s music at an event when they'd both run to hide in the bathroom to be away from the crowds for a bit. And steve text back,
"???" so eddie sends the post, and steve is like,
"oh!!! Oh my god yes let's do it!" So they do a little face time split video thing and its not a huge deal. Its goes a little crazy for a day or two and then calms. But then steve wakes up to robin calling him, and like 10 missed calls from her already. And he answers all groggy in the middle of the afternoon, lockdown, he can sleep when he wants damn it. And he's like,
"whats happened?" And she SHOUTS his name into the phone, he groans. But then she tells him to check Eddie's instagram, and then promptly hangs up on him. And he's like blinking himself awake still but he clicks it open and pulls up Eddie’s. It's actually the first thing that pops up on his feed cuz he really doesn't follow that many people... like... at all. He can see eddie, sitting on his bed, guitar in his lap and one of his little music machines next to him. Steve clicks it and feels himself blushing because of what Eddie's saying.
Basically, he starts of with,
"okay so normally i wouldn't comment or respond to like... assholes in the notes and comments but, I'm locked in my apartment and haven't talked to anyone face to face in like a fucking month an half and am just scrolling through all these stupid fucking comments so lets break this down." He shakes his hair out of his face, it's even longer than normal, his bangs are falling into his eyes. He settles back in, leans closer over his guitar, pointing into the camera.
"All you assholes. Calling Steve's music like... bland pop whatever blah blah blah. Have you listened to his stuff??? Cuz like, not to get TOO into it. Just... oh fucks sake hang on." He leans off the bed, making a weird strangled noise as he stretches. He manages to get hold of a hair band and shoved his hair up into a severely messy bun. Pushing his bangs to the sides he settles back in with his guitar and plays a bit of one of Steve's songs.
Steve feels his face getting hotter and hotter. He's still with nancy. But she's locked down at her own place and it's not even attraction making him blush. It's the fact that eddie munson, heavy metal rockstar man, is playing one of his songs, peice by peice, and laying down some serious music theory on his fans.
He plays it bit by bit until a small section of the song is playing out over his little recorder. And its acoustic and not electric like the actual song. But all the parts are there, and it sounds good. Steve can't stop watching. Barely blinking. Eddie stops playing and looks back into the camera, eyes a little wild, he's really been going at it for awhile. And he's like,
"steve might be, technically, a popstar, which, isn't really even THAT true. He jumps genres just like we do, but thats not the point. The point is, there are so many fucking... the fucking layers??? The goddamn depth of the composition of these songs he's making? He's a musical genius okay? Like... his songs are bonkers when you break them down okay?? So of i see one more of you cunts come into my comments and tell me to stop associating with popstars, which is a whole fucking OTHER topic im choosing to ignore. Dont fuckin tell me who to associate with you pretentious fucks. Anyway. Dont fuckin talk about his music until you fucking LISTEN to his music. The skill and precision it takes to make music like this? And in all the genres he ventures into, the skill level stays. Like...." eddie makes a wild flourishing motion.
"This dudes fuckin nuts okay? He's got fucking bars. He's got fucking talent. And he's my fuckin friend. So shut the fuck up. Mind your own business. Or get with the fucking program and go fucking listen to his shit. Fuck. Got me all fuckin heated now. Bunch'a dumbasses." He shakes his head. Clicks the music play back off, and sets his guitar down next to him. He pushes his bangs up off his head, breathes out a deep breath and rolls his eyes.
"Just... be nice. Or stay out of my comments. He's a friend. He's a fucking hard worker. And i dont take kindly to people calling themselves my "fans", he does the air quotes,
"and then showing up and shitting on steve just cuz he doesn't sing metal." Eddie lets his eyes move away, and then back, and then he smirks, reaches for the camera and says
"Not yet, anyway." He winks, and the video goes black.
Steve is so fucking flattered he has no words. And it only gets worse when he scrolls and sees chrissy and robin cheering eddie on. But THEN he sees Jeff, Andy, and Gareth in the comments too, saying stuff as well. Jeff leaves a trail of fire emojis and then says,
"yes!!! We use Steve's stuff at warm ups alllll the time!!! His shit will rock your world!"
And steve is just, so fucking flattered. He likes the post and tries to think of a way to respond. He thanks eddie in the comments. After checking his own and seeing some of HIS fans saying similar stuff about eddie and his band.
So he comments and doubles down,tell HIS fans he feels the same. He doesn't tolerate hate toward his friends. And then, he grabs the box from under his bed. Pulls out his stack of Corroded Coffin ticket stubs. He's been to.... several shows. Like a lot. Not always front row. He and robin love lawn seats. So they hang back there, and party with the kids and make a good space for themselves, dustin had started a lawn mosh three or four times. But he just makes a video, says,
"its come to my attention some of you think i couldn't possibly be a fan of Corroded Coffin. And i just woke up like an hour ago and im not generally good with words so im not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna do this." He holds up the stubs, all stacked together at first, and then he slides his thumb and the stubs fan out, he's got like... 15 to 25 of them.
He smiles. Fans himself a bit with them, holds them closer to the camera so people can see they're actually Corroded Coffin tickets and then pulls them back. He gives a little toothy smile and a peace sign and then turns the camera off. He goes to take a shower and comes back to a comment from eddie under his video thats just,
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FUCKIN WHAT!?!? OUR BIGGEST FAN YOU SAY?? 🤣😈🔥🔥🔥💋💋💋"
Cuz he's an emoji slut and had been up for... over 24 hours making that video and just losing his shit a little. But then he also gets a personal text from Eddie and he's like,
"holy shit. Have you really been to that many of our shows?" And steve is like,
"yup. More actually. Ive seen you a few times at festivals from backstage too" and they get to chatting.
Steve tells eddie about dustin starting the lawn moshing and eddie loses his shit again cuz that was so cool to him and the guys, that the lawn had been moshing like the pit. And thats how they start really talking and becoming actually friends and not just semi sort of adjacent friends. Robin and Chrissy add them both to the same group chat and it just blossoms from there.
They dont really post anymore videos, alone or together. But then, after lockdown, a music award show comes to them both and asks if they'd wanna perform a song together as a suprise for the show. And Steve's kind of hesitant. Cuz he doesn't know if he can pull off a Corroded Coffin song. But eddie just claps him on the back and is like,
"dont worry. We're gonna play one of yours" and steves like,
"shouldn't we talk about it a little?" And the band boys chime in that they've been DYING to perform one of his songs. And steve is just so flattered. But he's also like,
"i dont... know. How's my song work with you guys and your style? Im not exactly a heavy metal guru." Eddie smirks at the word, throws his arm over Steve's shoulder and says,
"oh steve. Lemme open your eyes. Lemme show you what you can really do." He widens his eyes cheekily and he and the boys take him to their studio to show him what they have in mind.
When they perform, it starts with just steve alone with his guitar, the stage behind him dark. He gets through the beginning and then the band kicks in with their heavy style and the crowd 'ooohs'. Steve finishes the first verse and then the lights come up, the band goes harder and Eddie comes out from behind Gareth and starts playing his guitar, walks up to the second mic and starts singing and everyone goes CRAZY.
Steve matches Eddie's energy for the whole performance. Eddie jumping and playing and sliding to his knees when he's not singing. Steve jumping to the beat and playing when its Eddie's time to sing. Both of them leaning in close to one mic to sing and play their guitars in unison a few time. The crowd screaming making them both smile.
The crowd screams loud again when Steve leans against Eddie's back as they play, head falling back to lay on his shoulder. And then Eddie is hard core screaming the end of the song. Steve bouncing on his toes as he plays the final notes and the light fall and the stage goes black.
The comments on the videos online are almost all about how GOOD it sounds. And how well their voice go together. And a ton of Corroded Coffin fans being like,
"look at the little popstar man go!!! He's a little rocker at heart!" Cuz steve had been jumping around, keeping up with eddie as he played his guitar and yelled into the mic with him. And Steve's fans are like,
"holy shit! I haven't seen him look that happy on stage in ages!! He's a rockstar!!!" Everyone coming together and agreeing that rock agrees with steve! Even if he doesn't go their on his own in the future, they're glad he's friends with eddie and can venture there if he wants too, when he wants too. Because eddie is always happy to have him. They hug super tight at the end, eddie grabbing Steve's hand and holding it over their head as he screams,
"make some fucking NOISE!! FOR STEVE. FUCKING. HARRINGTON!" and the crowd fucking loses it as they smile and walk off, Eddie's arm draped over Steve's neck, both of them sweaty and hot and beaming.
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anarcoqueer1994 · 1 year
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Is this something?
His mom was hired to work as a server for some extra cash at one of the fancy fundraisers the Harrington’s had at their house to shmooze whatever important politician they set their sights on that week. She couldn't leave her 7 year old son home alone, and her husband was on another drinking binge, so she had to bring Eddie. She set him up in the kitchen with some toys and food and asked him to be on his best behavior while mommy worked.
Eddie really tried. He tried to keep himself busy as she and the other servers rushed to and from the kitchen with hors d'oeuvres and drinks. But he got bored, so when no one was looking, he slipped out into the living room/dining room space where the guests were mingling. As he entered the room, he saw the guests were gathering around a grand piano. A tall, good-looking but scary man could be heard saying, "Steven, go ahead and play everyone a song." He flashed a fake smile at the crowd around him as his pretty wife stood nearby.
Eddie moved closer, careful not to draw attention to himself as he did, just so he could see what was going on more clearly. When he did, he saw a boy he had seen at school. He was in the grade below him, in first grade, Steve Harrington.
He watches as Steve pulls himself up on the chair in front of the piano. Steve nervously looks around the room at the crowd before his father clears his throat. "Go ahead, Steven." He quickly nods before starting to press down on the keys in front of him.
Eddie couldn't believe his ears. He had never heard anything like it. This little kid, only a little younger than him, was masterfully playing this song(later on, he finds out it was Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata). He watched intently as Steve’s little fingers slid from key to key. He was mesmerized.
When Steve stopped playing, the crowd of adults clapped. Eddie watched as Steve’s eyes shot to his own parents. He had looked so proud of himself, hopeful that he did well. But his face dropped as he noticed his parents weren’t even looking at him, more focused on the reactions of those around them.
Eddie knew that face, knew the face of disappointment. It was the same face he often gave his own father when he would be let down again. He wanted to make Steve feel better, to not feel sad. Without thinking, he pushes his way through the crowd, making his way to Steve.
"Hi, I'm Eddie! We go to school together and that was so cool, Steven!" He excitedly says as he walks up to the piano bench Steve was still sitting on.
Steve instinctively smiles. "Thanks! I've been practicing forever! Oh, and it's Steve, inly my dad calls me that." He giggles, showing the gap from where he recently lost a baby tooth.
"Well, okay, Steve! I think you did so good! I want to play music like that! I thought only grownups could play!" He says excitedly.
"I could teach you!" Steve's smile gets bigger, nose crinkling up.
"Hmm," Eddie contemplates. "I wanna learn the guitar like my mom. Oh and we can make a band together. You have to be the lead though."
Steve looks confused. "Why?"
"Because you're the pretty one! Everyone knows the pretty one is the lead." He says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world.
Steve looks like he is about to reply, happy to have a kid to talk to, another kid who actually likes him, when his dad suddenly says, "Who's kid is this?" This was technically a child free event, Steve only there because he lives there(and to be his parents' dancing monkey, apparently.)
Mrs. Munson comes running through the crowd, grabbing Eddie’s hand. "I'm so sorry, sir. He was supposed to be in the kitchen." Mr. Harrington looked annoyed, pulling her aside and sending her home early.
Eddie feels bad for getting his mom in trouble, but she doesn't take it out on him. He was a kid, didn't know better. He was too young to understand that people like them do not get to exist in the world of people like the Harringtons. If you step out of place, you get hurt.
Eddie doesn't really think much of the interaction after that, not wanting to risk getting his mom in trouble again by talking to Steve, even at school. But it is after that night that he begs his mother to teach him to play. His love for music grows and it becomes an escape.
As for Steve, he starts to resent playing music throughout the years. It was never something he did because he wanted to, but because his parents pushed him to do to show him off to their friends. And that's sad because he really did love playing when he was little.
Other things became clear to him that night too. That was the start of his first crush. But he doesn’t pursue it, doesn't reach out to Eddie. Even at a young age, he knew he would get in trouble for liking a boy. He doesn't even try to be his friend, afraid Eddie hates him for getting his mom in trouble.
So it's like a cruel joke when years later, Steve is laying in Eddie's arms, while the other man combs his fingers through Steve's hair, that Eddie whispers, "Why don't you play anymore, kitten?"
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i-am-the-oyster · 20 days
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If you want people to @ you about Her Majesty, I'm only too happy to darken your virtual doorstep. Please expand on your statement that (quoting from memory) ending their recording career with Her Majesty is the beatliest thing the Beatles ever did. Also (optional) please tie this in with any thoughts on where Lennon and McCartney were at at the time, in terms of their creative collaboration. I'd be very interested in your thoughts; thank you in advance!
Ooh, thanks for this ask!
So first of all, is Abbey Road the end of their recording career?
I think so. It's weird to think that several of their most iconic songs are on Let It Be when it's such a mess in so many ways. But it was recorded first, and for me Abbey Road is a kind of thesis conclusion.
Well then, is Her Majesty the end of Abbey Road?
Someone in the notes of the post you're referring to called Her Majesty the post-credits scene of the album, and that is fair. But that's not how I think of it. Abbey Road is arguably the apotheosis of the album form. Flowing perfectly from one song to another, pulling together all their influences, their compositions mixing and blending until we reach The End. Guitar battle, drum solo, loveyouloveyouloveyou. And then Paul pulls down the band's collective glasses and says "it's only us!". Their humour and irreverence was such a key part of their charm, and it's important to me that they close their Magnum Opus with a silly ditty that got there by accident.
Where were Lennon/McCartney at?
Unfortunately, I think it had to be Paul who made the joke, because John had lost sight of the beauty of charming irreverence at that time. His humourlessness in 1969 is heartbreaking tbh. What humour he did have leaned into his cruelty (cf Sun King).
Warning: headcanon follows
John had lost faith in their collaboration, but Paul never did. John was afraid that Paul could produce something like Abbey Road without him, and even convinced himself that Paul had done so. But (as much as I love Wings) Paul could never produce anything on that level without those specific collaborators, and he never believed he could. (Though he hadn't yet recognised how vital George and Ringo were to the magic). Abbey Road was extremely collaborative, and The End captures that spirit in a deep way, even if John couldn't see it. And then Her Majesty says "lol".
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xdivyxd · 11 months
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I know my love should be celebrated (pt.1)
Pt.2 can be found here :)
Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader
Word count : 1170
Description : this is just pure angst, like not even a little bit of happiness. Based on the song ' tolerate it' by Taylor Swift :)
Warnings: none? Lmk if I'm wrong:)
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"Hi" i said as i walked out of my room, Gerard just got home from the studio.
his band, my chemical romance is recording their new record and he had been getting home late each night and leaving early each morning, i bearly get to see him anymore.
"Hi" he says without looking at me and lying down on the couch "i made dinner cuz you said you would come home early today but it's cold now" he looked at me frustrated, as if i said something wrong "i couldn't get away early y/n, why are you attacking me?" i felt my heart ache  a bit at how harsh his voice sounded.
I went to the kitchen, taking the fancy plates that i took out just for tonight and put them back in their cabinets, trying to control my emotions, trying to understand my boyfriend.
'He loves me, he's just tired and this album is important to him' i keep repeating in my head, breathing deeply. 'He's not tired of you, it's just from all the work he's doing'
"I am not attacking you Gee I was just saying" i responded to his question, and took a sit next to him on the couch handing him a cup of tea "how was today? What did you record?" I looked at him as he put the cup on the table and got up "it was fine, I'm really tired I'm gonna go to bed"
I nodded, mumbling a quiet 'good night'.
I steard at the cup of tea that he didn't even take one sip of, he did not say good night. It felt like he care about me anymore.
I decided to leave the cup of tea in the living room, along with my sadness and just go to bed, maybe if I'll wake up tomorrow before he leaves to the studio he'll be in a better mood and it'll be better.
I got in bed next to Gerard, looking at him breathing peacefully, i smiled to myself and closed my eyes, slowly falling asleep.
When i woke up in the morning, reaching out to Gerard's side of the bed only to find it empty, my heart broke, i missed him again..
I got up and walked to the kitchen, i poured myself a cup of coffee and looked through the paper for a while before getting ready for work.
When i got home at night from my shift Gerard was sitting in the living room watching TV and drinking coffee
"We need to talk" i said as soon as i saw him, all day i was thinking about the state of our relationship in the past few weeks and i hated it.
I hated the way he made me feel, desperate to be included in his life, begging to be a part of his story.
"Alright" he said, a bit concerned, and i set down next to him, looking at his face, and all i could think about how this might be the last time I'm seeing his face.
"Why do you hate me?" Those are not the words i wanted to say to him, this is not how i wanted to start this conversation, but my mouth was faster then my mind..
"I don't hate you, why would you even think that?" His voice was soft, his hand resting on my thigh "y/n what's going on?"
I blinked, is he dumb? Or is he just acting dumb?
"You're tolerating me instead of loving me" his once soft gaze, turned into a mixture of sadness and anger
"I do love you y/n" i shook my head "it's not what i mean" i simply said and got up from my spot on the couch, i had so many feelings trapped inside of my body i just had to get up and walked it off, i couldn't sit still.
"So explain to me, what do you mean?" He got a bit frustrated, i could feel that he did not want to hace this conversation right now, but i didn't care.
"You go to the studio every morning so early, you don't even leave a note, you don't call at all throughout the day, you come home late every night, you don't say a word to me, how am i supposed to feel about that?" i said throwing my arms up in frustration
"I need to go to the studio, it's my job y/n." Now he also got up, now this conversation turned into a fight
"Would you stop saying my name like that?!" My voice got a bit higher than usual, which happens when i get mad
"Like what?" He said and let out a frustrated breath
"Like it's disgusting you, like i annoy you, like you're patronizing me." I felt a lump in my throat and i tried very hard not to cry.
"I'm not patronizing you, I'm trying to understand what do you want me to do" i rolled my eyes "i want you to show me that you love me and not only say that you do. Cuz at this point i don't really believe you anymore"
"I am doing everything i can! I want you to be happy but i have a career to maintain. My band mates, my friends, are counting on me."
"And i am supporting your career Getard but goddammit i also count on you! I need you too Gerard!" I raised my voice and this time a few tears fell down my checks, i wiped them with the back of my hand and looked at him, i saw that his heart was breaking, i can see it in his eyes..
"Can we just go to bed and talk about it tomorrow? I'm really tired i had a long day today" he asked and looked at me with a, now, blank expression on his face.
Of course he wasnts to take a break from the fight, cuz it doesn't matter what i need or feel "no we can't go to bed, we either do this now or we're done. I don't deserve to feel like this."
As soon as i said it i regretted it, i hoped he would keep talking to me, that he would not walk away from us, that he would tell me he's sorry and it'll change.
I hoped he won't end us.
"Then i guess we're done" he said quietly, i can see the heartbreake in his eyes
"Gerard.." i whispered as he put on his shoes and jacket and opened the door to our home "I'll stay at Mikey's tonight"
I couldn't believe he would just walk away from us, from me..
He closed the door as tears ran down my face "no please" i said as a sob escaped my lips as i walked outside after him, but he was already gone, i was left alone, sobbing, stranding in front of our house, hoping he would come back.
But he didn't
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myork · 2 years
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9 Years Of BTS . (130613)
One word you associate with BTS or how they make you feel
As answered by my mutuals and followers ♡
Thank you so much to everybody who answered and shared your reasons with me <3 here are a few other explanations <3
"I'm a Christian and I was pretty scared of joining this fandom because I though I was going to be judged. But I wasn't–like, at all. This family is filled with the people I trust the most, because BTS and ARMY always got my back–And I'll always have theirs."
"if it was two words i would say big brothers because that's exactly what they are to me. a bit like the kuyas (a word in plural form in my native language used to refer to an older man with respect or for an older man in general like older brothers) i've never had. that's probably why i picked "family." i think it hits me hard because i don't have any siblings. also my mom is willing to adopt them and become their mom lol."
"they made me learn to love myself, and love life... <3"
"ive never seen such a tight-knit group honestly it’s like they’re all siblings. also each one of them are talented in their own way."
"I just feel like theyre rlly good role models for healthy communication and. idk they make me feel loveable/not alone with my mental health struggles."
"My sense of purpose. Life for me was eat, sleep, work until they inspire me to want to do and be more."
"Their music makes me so happy and almost always puts a smile on my face. Songs like Mikrokosmos and Anpanman and Butter especially just always make me grin. And then of course they release so much content that makes me smile. And interacting with other Army makes me smile too, its always nice to connect with someone over a shared love for BTS. Have you ever been so overcome/overwhelmed with happiness that you started laughing?? BTS makes me do that on a regular basis."
"for me bts is the representation of brotherhood/family. They have been together for more than 10 years, they have known each other so well, in other words, they are like brothers who support and love each other no matter what and i think that's sweet because in our society people tend to judge this kind of friendships by calling them "gay". However, you know what's the best thing? That they don't care about what people say about them, they still behave the same way with each other and that's what makes me love them even more."
"Basically like home. I know they're extremely chaotic but there's this sense of peace in my heart that I found them."
"Always make me swoon."
"There really is no better word for me to explain how those seven young men from South Korea make me feel. I don't feel any other band I followed/stan in the past years ever felt as comforting (and familiar, in a way) as BTS does. Whenever I feel like I'm about to fall into a bad mental state, or I'm bored/sad or I just want to distract myself from this real world, I listen to their music or watch a run bts episode or even a compilation of their best/funniest/most comforting moments and feel better. No matter what, they always manage to make me smile and bring me the same comfort I would feel as my closest friend hugged me for hours."
"they were there for me through some really hard times, i don't know what i would've done without them."
"i’m a baby army (got interested in them after grammys 2022) and i haven’t been this happy in a while, watching random yt videos of them, listening to their songs and their meaning. for me it’s like a ray of sunshine everytime. i don’t have army friends yet so i can’t have pretty much no one to talk abt this so i just make my friends/bf listen to my daily rants about them haha"
"because they make me happy."
"BTS encourages me to love myself. BTS loves me and other ARMY even without meeting most of us. They love us so much that they tell us to stop listening to their music, watching their videos, etc. and go do important things like homework, work, or spending time with family and friends. BTS loves us so much that they want to give all ARMYs a free concert. BTS loves us so much that they post little updates of their lives when they know we're missing them. BTS loves us so much that they use us to love themselves. BTS loves us so much that they call us their best friends, their butterflies, and their stars. BTS loves us so much that they've created a community of people who respect each other like brothers and sisters even if they don't know each other personally (ARMY). BTS' love has created social movements for change and has donated so much money for the greater good. This love is truly pure and genuine, and I have never felt such a love from someone so far away, never mind from an artist to a fan. It doesn't matter that we're hemispheres apart, because I feel like they are with me and I am with them. This love is why BTS makes me feel loved."
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gothmikasagf · 3 months
Note
Hi! I’ve been following this blog for a bit and I love that you are having a HH phase, bc same. Can I get a matchup for the event?
★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though
★Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too
★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car
★❤️&💔: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and I unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that
★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think ppl that are bigger than me maybe? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing
-★🎶
I love that for us anon^^
I match you with...
Husk!
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Man is definitely a hater too. I can definitely see both of you just talking shit about whoever you don't like.
Doesn't mind your flirtations but don't really expect him to reciprocate unless he's out to fluster you.
Silently supportive of your hobbies and your band. He likes that you're a perfectionist but won't let you overwork yourself to the point you forget to take care of yourself.
Demonstrates he cares for you through little things, he won't make a big fuss about it.
Watches whatever movie you like and is there to listen to you if you want to talk about it.
He's pretty chill with anything so you wouldn't have to worry about being judged.
I feel like you would definitely understand each other, he has toned down a lot since his overlord days.
Likes having you sitting at the bar and just be in your presence. If you shit-talk Alastor in front of him he's yours forever.
Hope you enjoyed it and I didn't mess anything up (feel free to reach out if so).
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simpforchuchu · 7 months
Note
Hey again! What if fujio, tsukasa, shoji, and sachio decide to take reader on her dream date for her birthday or something like that so they saved up and bought tickets to readers favorite kpop group or got tickets to a huge anime convention. Those are both my dream dates and I’ve been to both recently and it got me wondering like who would go all and learn the fan chants and the dances and who would wanna do cosplay or blow all their money on the artworks. and who would be the whole “here babe I’ll hold your bag you go have fun,” type. I’m sorry, this is like my third request I’m just on such an energy high today 😅😅😅
High & Low Boys x Reader’s dream date
a/n: Hi! It’s been a while, sorry 🙏🏻It was really a cute one and thank you for your request 😘 I hope you like it 🌸💕
Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...
Thank you and love you 🥰
Warnings: none
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Fujio
* I don't think there is anything Fujio wouldn't do to make his girlfriend happy.
* This includes learning kpop songs and dances he never knew.
* He probably wants to buy his girlfriend a special gift for her birthday, and he probably even found a part-time job to do it all summer.
* He knows that your favorite band will have a concert in a few months and he wants you to be happy.
* When your birthday comes, he will wave the 2 tickets in his hand with excitement and take you to the concert.
* He even got light sticks so you can wave them along
* And you might not expect him to sing along to every song… Just wait to see him dance.
Sachio
* He is that cool bitch
* So I don't know how far he can go
* But I'm sure he’ll buy those tickets when he see the excitement and happiness in your eyes when you hear the news about the concert.
* He won't hesitate to come to the concert with you
* At first he’s like "Here babe I'll hold your bag you go have fun" but then you can see him waving the light stick with you
* The smile on your face is more important to him than anything else
Tsukasa
* I don't think he's a like anime/manga fan
* Of course, he has been familiar with them all since his childhood, but not a big fan
* Dude literally lives an anime…
* He realizes how much his girlfriend loves animes and wants to make her happy
* When he heard that there was going to be an anime show at a night cinema in your city, he bought the tickets for you without even thinking.
* Definitely will be a surprise
* He is very happy to see the sparkle in your eyes when you get there and see your favorite anime on the big screen.
Shoji
* Totally gives me the anime fan vibe
* Especially shounen anime…
* Watching anime with you is not enough, he wants to make you happier
* So you definitely didn't expect to see him dressed as your favorite character in front of your house one day
* He will tell you to get ready with a small smile and he is excited for you to see the surprise he has made for you.
* He bought tickets to a cosplay event for you and he loves it when you look at the people around with excitement.
* But he must be your favorite, he definitely does not accept anyone else in this regard...
HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx @ninamarie1994 @thatpoindexterpixy @koala-yuna @star2fishmeg
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siriuslysmoking · 7 months
Text
Soft and Gentle
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A/N: I saw Gaby Moreno as an Opener for a band I was seeing and I just fell in love with her voice and her music. 'Lost on a Cloud' has no lyrics that are published so all the things that are written as lyrics are just interpetied from me listening, if there is any mistakes please let me know. Also, I don't know how the Grammy's works so bare with me, I'm pulling this shit outta my ass.
Pairing: Latino Jazz Artist! Reader x Rockstar!Eddie Munson
Warnings: fem!reader, she/her pronouns, alcohol consumption,
Summary: You never thought you'd see him ever again, when it comes to the most important day of your life, he's at the table next to you.
I don't know what this is or why this is, it's probably awful but I'm not rereading it.
You might think that finding your seat was the hardest task you had to do all night, but the night wasn't over yet.
You hardly swallowed as you took a seat on stage, the lights dimmed around you and a spotlight circled you.
Your eyes circle the crowd as you strum the intro.
That's when they latch onto the inspiration of the song, those chocolate brown eyes that have haunted your dreams for the last seven years.
You don't move you eyes, he doesn't move his.
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What if all the grown ups stopped working so hard
Dropped all their things and stared at the sky
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It was a hot summer's day when you had met, you were playing with the hose and had called him over. He was home alone and you mom was inside working, neither of you had anyone to play with.
Those giggles and squeals of the cold water being poured on one another was daunting.
You slept happy that night, making a new friend.
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all the busy nothings i could fill a cup, days and nights went by and I've forgotten to be scared of the dark
'cause every minute is filled with things to do and me and you have found that there's no time to see the clouds up so high
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"Hey eds?" You look to him, his face still facing the sky.
"Yeah?" He hums with his eyes close.
"When you go to high school will you forget about me?" That's when he looks at you, those eyes so soft and gentle.
"Never, plus you'll be there in one year." He smiles to you, before staring back at the sky
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Is it so hard to remember how it all used to be
they say youth is lost on the young who never knew they were free
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"Promise me that we'll leave together." Eddie mumbles into your hair as you lay in his bed with him, running your hands through his hair.
"Two bedroom apartment in New York, remember?" You smile, you both have been saving since you got jobs in freshman year. as soon as you both graduate you're leaving.
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here we are, we're lost on the cloud
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Then he didn't graduate and the next year you did.
You waited for him to, you promised.
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darling it's okay to while the hours away while we're here forever I just wanna hear to laughing out loud
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"You did it!" You hug him as he swings you up in the air knocking his cap off.
"I did it!" He stares into your eyes as he lowers you to the ground, his lips flicker downward. The next thing you know is his lips are on your.
That night is spent in laughs and ice cream.
That night promises were made.
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'cause every minute is filled with things to do and me and you have found that there's no time to see the clouds up so high
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"A record label wants Corroded Coffin!" Eddie rushes into your trailer.
"No way!" You turn from the sink where you were cleaning up dinner that your mom and you had just finished
"For real! They want us to relocate to Cali'." He hugs you tightly.
"California?" Your eyes widen.
"Yeah!" His smile is so wide, you feel as though you're going to ruin it with your next words.
"That's far, really far."
"I know but we can make it work." Eddie smiled against your lips, "We'll make it work."
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is it so hard to remember what we had you and me
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"I miss you."
-I miss you too
-Alright I gotta go!
"o-okay, bye, I love you."
-Bye
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they say youth is lost on the young who never knew they were free
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Your eyes start to water as you finish the song. He doesn't seem to blink either.
You finish your last few cords before the clapping begins.
Then you're sent back to your seat and you say a final goodbye to the soft gentle eyes.
-
-
Likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated <3
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ironstrange1991 · 2 years
Text
Forbidden (Part 1)
A Doctor Strange Original Series
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Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Y/n is 21 years old and is in her final year of philosophy school. She has the heart of a philosopher, is an extraordinary singer, a rebel heart and extremely pretty. She also happens to be Tony Stark's goddaughter and Stephen Strange knows it means she is the definition of forbidden fruit and as such deliciously irresistible.
Warnings: None. This one is basically an introduction.
Word Count: 4k
A/N: This first chapter is very introductory, we get to know the reader and her motivations and we also get to know the other characters that will be important for the development of the story. It's a slow burn, funny at times, silly sometimes, but don't worry smut is coming at some point in the next chapters. I hope the pov changes don't get confusing, they were necessary to make the story more dynamic. Also this is the song the reader is singing ;)
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"This is going to be the biggest party of the year and it's going to be full of hotties. I love Mr. Stark"
You stared at Ned rolling your eyes and turning your attention back to MJ and Peter "I'm so glad you're here. I thought this vacation would never come. Tell me about your freshman year at college."
"Excellent" "Terrible" The three replied in unison.
MJ smirked confidently "Peter is complaining because he spends more time being Spider-Man than studying and Ned is the same thing, only he's not Spider-Man which makes it even worse."
"I'm Spider-Man's best friend. He needs me. What do you think is more important, saving people from crime or studying?"
MJ rolled her eyes and Peter sighed "I know I need to work harder. Mr. Stark is scolding me for my grades but it's hard to reconcile the two and Boston has a lot of crime."
You nodded understandingly "It's going to be all right Peter. I didn't do so well my first year either."
MJ sighed "How was the exams?"
"Well, I got full marks on pretty much all of them. I wanted Tony to be happy about it, but he didn't seem impressed." Peter frowned but said nothing.
"You're entering your senior year now, aren't you? You're so close to your graduation, I'm proud of you" MJ stated trying to cheer you up.
You nodded with a shrug "Apart from the part where I'm dying to study and still haven't gotten any response from NYU about the PhD program, I'm also proud of myself."
Ned was snooping through your CD rack and looking through your collection of Avengers Funkos. "They should make one of these for me, after all I'm..."
"...Spiderman's best friend" You replied impatiently "I don't think they make superhero best friend Funkos. Not even family ones."
"Surprising you don't have a Doctor Strange Funko" MJ said staring at you and analyzing your reaction. You blushed and looked away
"Technically Doctor Strange is not an Avenger, so..." Peter corrected.
"Uhum" was all MJ said.
You got up going to Ned and taking one of your cds out of his hand "No touching."
"And how's the band doing? Any chance you'll go on a world tour later this year?" She asked and you sighed "People don't like rock music like they used to. Nowadays radio only gives space to rappers and pop singers."
"So no chance of making a living as a rock star?"
You denied "I'm playing tonight at the party. Tony wants to sponsor me and I know it would be nice to have the Stark name attached to the band, but then it would only reinforce what people think of me. Besides, do I want that? It's one thing to be a small band playing in some nightclubs around town, it's another thing to make a career out of it."
MJ nodded. "It's more fun than being a college professor or a writer or whatever you do with a philosophy degree."
Peter shook his head "Screw them, you know you deserve everything you got. You got into college for having good grades and your band is great because you sing so well you're a great songwriter, if that's what you like I'm sure you'll be able to reconcile the two."
You smiled at him "Thank you Peter, but unfortunately the media loves to say otherwise. Don't get me wrong I love my godfather. Tony has taken care of me since my parents died and he is like a father to me but sometimes I wish I could stop living in the shadow of his greatness."
You heard someone knocking on the door. "Come in"
Pepper opened the door and poked her head in, "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, it's just that your friends from the band arrived for rehearsal. I invited them to coffee."
You nodded "I'm coming down Pep, thanks."
Peter and MJ got up "Well we'll leave you to your chores, see you at the party."
MJ smirked "Strange coming over tonight?"
You smiled openly "America said so"
Peter didn't seem to understand but MJ pushed him out of the room "You're so innocent sometimes."
...
You chose your outfit for the night with Stephen Strange in mind. You were used to seeing him in the Tower all the time and sometimes when you went to the Sanctum to talk to America, but it was always different when you two were together at a party. He rarely attend Tony's parties and you were surprised when America said he would, surprised and extremely happy. Everyone knew you had a crush on him, everyone but him apparently and Tony, thank god. You knew he was too old for you, he was around 45 and you had just turned 21, but what people thought should hold you back was exactly what attracted you to him. Besides, of course, everything else.
Stephen Strange was an extremely handsome man, he was tall, had those incredible cheekbones, those ocean eyes and that goatee. You just wanted him to look at you the way you looked at him, but it didn't help that you got along so well with all the teenagers you knew. You just couldn't act your age sometimes and maybe that's why he didn't see you as the woman you wanted to be for him.
You finished dressing and looked in the mirror. The black dress you wore covered little more than mid-thigh, the cleavage emphasized your full breasts, you wore fishnet stockings with very high heels and your hair fell loose in waves just a palm above your waist. The bare skin of your arms and chest was adorned with several tattoos, some still in progress.
You opted for a discreet makeup with just layers of mascara and a some lip gloss. A discreet piercing adorned your septum and another on the side of your lips.
"You can do this" You said trying to encourage yourself and finally walking down to the reception that had already started.
When you entered the ballroom you saw Nat, Yelena, Sharon Carter and Maria Hill talking at a table. The hall was still empty, people still arriving. Nat waved at you and you joined them.
"Wow loved the outfit" Yelena said sipping from the glass filled with a blue drink with a small umbrella. "I can't wait for your show"
You smiled and Nat pointed to Tony talking to two men at a table farther away "I probably shouldn't say this, but those are the hottest music producers in NY" You looked back and then back to Nat "I asked him not to do this."
"He's just trying to help you, you know he'll do anything for you" Nat stated and then explained to Maria and Sharon "Y/N has a wonderful band, we will be privileged to see them play tonight."
You grimaced, but your attention was totally stolen by the sorcerer who walked into the hall daring to wear an absurdly elegant three-piece Armani suit. America was right behind him, eyes bright with anticipation at being attending his first major social event since being dragged into your universe.
Strange wasn't exactly thrilled to be at another one of Tony Stark's parties, but after the last particularly difficult mission with the Avengers he couldn't turn down the invitation to celebrate the fact that everyone was alive. Besides, there was a certain grace in watching Stark's dangerously beautiful goddaughter. He knew nothing could come of that flirtation between you, damn he could barely tell if you were even flirting with him or if it was just your way of acting with everybody else, but the truth is he loved the few times you both were on same place.
The fact that you embraced America almost like a little sister and helped the teenager adapt to the NY of that universe only contributed to him being able to see you more often, sometimes in the Sanctum. But Stephen was aware that you were the definition of forbidden fruit. You were very young, a rebel heart, not to mention you were practically Tony Stark’s daughter.
Your smile faded a little when Strange looked at you, but headed towards the table in the opposite direction taking a seat next to Pepper and Tony. America spotted you and waved her hand for you to join them and you just forced a smile.
"I already said he's too old for you" Nat said smiling empathetically. You shrugged "Is that supposed to discourage me?"
Maria looked in Stephen's direction "I didn't know Strange had a daughter." You shook your head "He doesn't, America is his apprentice."
She glared at you and then he and then smirked "Really?  You have a crush on him?"
You sighed and didn't respond. Sharon Carter who replied "I can see why. He's an interesting man." You glared at her and she raised both hands in surrender "Sorry"
Soon the hall was full of guests, the Avengers were gathered in small groups scattered around the hall and Thor was making everyone laugh with his jokes and booming laughter. The stage was set and the DJ’s song choices were actually good and you were on your fourth glass of champagne when Peter, MJ and Ned arrived apologizing for being late. Ned looked around like a kid in a candy store.
Yelena disagreed "It would be better without the goatee."
You groaned stopping the waiter and taking a glass of champagne from the tray "I don't know how I'm going to survive this night."
They waved at you and happily came your way. Nat groaned and Maria and Sharon stood up "That's our cue" Maria said and they walked away.
They approached and MJ sat next to you, but Peter saw Tony waving and ran out to greet his mentor and Ned followed close behind.
"Whats up?" MJ asked staring at you.
You smiled shyly "What's up?"
She stared at Nat and Yelena "She looks drunk, is she drunk already?" Nat just smiled, but didn't respond.
 "With champagne? No. Love drunk, maybe?" Yelena replied making fun and you looked at her angry "It's not funny"
Nat denied "It's a bit funny actually, but don't worry, your doctor is heading our way and he doesn't seem to take his eyes off you, maybe there's some hope after all." You disguised it by looking in any direction but his.
"They were responsible for hits of bands like Imagine Dragons, U2 and the Stones as well. I heard someone will shine tonight." Stephen's baritone voice came right behind you making your skin crawl.
"Is it just me or are those..." MJ pointed to the table where the two music producers were accompanied by two women you didn't know "Tony is determined to make me a rock star, it seems."
MJ nodded "They produced some important songs, I just can't remember which ones."
"Hi" was all you managed to say.
He grins at you, a martini glass in his hand. You noticed when his eyes lingered a little longer than they should on the neckline of your dress.
"New ink?" He pointed to a blue bird tattooed on the center of your chest. You smirked "It's still healing. Did you like it?" He nodded. "It suits you. Perhaps you can enlighten me on the meaning." You shook your head "I don't want to bore you with my philosophy, Doctor."
He smirked "You couldn't bore me even if you tried"
MJ and Nat exchanged glances.
"Enjoying the party, doctor?" Natasha asked. He smirked. Stephen was the king of smirks and you would fall for him every time once again.
"As much as possible, there's a limit to how much I can handle Stark's social events, maybe I'm too old for these things."
You shook your head "I'm glad you came, adding to the restricted group of people who understand music"
He chuckled modestly "My knowledge isn't as extensive as it seems. I'm nostalgic I guess, I like good old stuff"
You bit your lip "If you stay a bit longer you'll see that the new generation might have some things to offer you."
Yelena choked on her drink and Nat and MJ held back their laughter. Stephen pretended not to notice the double meaning in your line "Maybe I will. I like to enjoy new things and America wouldn't forgive me if I didn't let her see your show"
You smiled broadly taking a sip of your champagne noticing his eyes they didn't deviate from you for even a second "Before I forget, congratulations on the last mission, doctor. The media can't stop praising you."
He sipped his martini. "It was a team effort. Romanoff was crucial, as always."
Nat shook her head "He's being modest, he and Stark were rock stars there."
You nodded unable to take your eyes off him "That's what I heard"
MJ groaned pointing to the table where America and Ned were talking laughing "Someone needs to save her." She said sighing. Stephen stared "She's going to be fine."
MJ shook her head "No, believe me, she won't" She ran towards America and Natasha took the opportunity to get up "Well, if you'll excuse me" Yelena looked at her without understanding and Natasha raised her incisive eyebrow " Yeah, I'll... take a look around" Yelena said making it all ridiculously obvious.
Stephen chuckled "Can I sit with you?"
 "Sure" He sat down next to you "Ready for your final year of college?"
You frowned "I know it's going to be tiring, difficult, but I can't complain, I really like it."
He nodded "Good. Have you started your dissertation yet?" You sighed "I'm stuck on page eighteen, and I can't decide which way to go."
He shook his head "Yeah, I remember what it was like" You raised an eyebrow resting your face on your hand "Really? It must have been ages ago!" "I have a good memory." He moved his fingers in a complicated gesture and his glass filled again with his martini. You smiled. You loved to see him doing magic.
He stared at Tony talking to Pepper and Peter "Stark is proud of you, that's all he talks about." You nodded lowering your head "No he's not. He wanted me to go to medical school, maybe doing mechanical engineering, law, anything but philosophy."
Stephen frowned "Why do you say that?"
"Because I know what he thinks. He thinks I do philosophy because I don't know what I want to do with my life, which would be true if it weren't for the fact that I love my course. Really. I don't understand why not can be seen as something important and worthy. People need to think, they need to understand where we came from and where we are going and why we do things or want what we want..."
He heard you smiling that beautiful smile of his and you stopped “Anyway…”
He took a long sip of his drink "Stark loves you, he only wants what's best for you. If you're going to major in philosophy and have a rock band? He's in. He didn't bring those guys here because he thinks you don't know what you want. He brought them in because he wants you to succeed in whatever you decide to do with your life."
Dammit, why did he have to be so perfect all the time? So sure of everything.
"What about you, doctor? How are things in the multiverse?" He smirked "The multiverse is fine and America is doing great at Kamar Taj. She seems to have settled in well at school. I thank you for that" You nodded "She is a good kid" You frowned "I have a thing for teenagers, you know."
"Sometimes I need to remind myself that until recently you were one too"
You frowned at your glass "Is that how you see me? The same way you see America?"
He looked around as if making sure no one was paying attention to you, "No, that's not what I meant. Quite the opposite, actually."
You drank the last of the champagne and placed the glass on the table, covering it with your hand as Stephen moved his fingers to refill it. "I need to be sober if I'm going to make a good impression on those guys tonight." He nodded "Good decision" You sighed pretending not to see your bandmates arriving at the party.
"So..." He waited and you shook your head "How do you see me then?"
He thought for a moment "Like someone who knows very well what she wants and who spares no effort to get it. Someone who seems dangerously more mature than she really is and likes to play with fire without thinking about the consequences. Adorable, but rebellious and extremely pretty."
You blinked a few times trying to process what he said. You were about to reply when your friend Mike approached "Hey, y/n we need to work out some things with the sound technician"
Stephen stood up "Well I won't slow you down. Have a good show."
"Hmm sorry, you're Doctor Strange right? I'm Mike, I work with y/n in the band. I'm a big fan of yours" Stephen smiles sympathetically shaking Mike's hand "It's nice to meet you Mike. I'm looking forward to your show" Mike grins "Really? This is so cool..."
"Mike the doctor has more to do." You said feeling embarrassed by your friend. Stephen took the opportunity to run away and you were staring at his back thinking that anything you could have said could be a regret later. "Well, let's go"
It didn't matter how many times you had taken the stage at the nightclub shows, you always felt anxious when you did. However that night was different, you felt almost nauseous as if your life was on a scale, your dreams and expectations in a showcase for all to see. It didn't feel good.
Stephen couldn't take his eyes off you on that stage. He swore you'd never been more beautiful and quite the opposite of what you implied he didn't see you the way he saw America. America was like a daughter to him, you were something else, you were like a breath of fresh air, the malice that dangled from the corner of his lips as he nodded to a proud Stark trying to disguise the fact that you captivated him in inappropriate ways . Your music was just like you, loud, messy, rebellious, but in a good way, it exuded revolt and youth and he might as well drink from that youth like a vampire sucking it from you, tasting it at your fingertips or even better at your tongue.
"I think there's a little drool here," Romanoff said in his ear loud enough for him to hear over the whirlwind of electric guitars and drums.
He glared at Stark, assuring himself that he hadn't heard what the widow had said and just smiled.
MJ couldn't have been more proud of her friend and judging by the wide-eyed producers seated just a few tables away were at least impressed. But they weren't the only ones. Stark looked at y/n like a proud father and Doctor Strange looked proud too, but his look wasn't brotherly, on the contrary. MJ wondered how long that flirtation between the two of you would last before something really happens. It was kinda gross but she respected y/n's choices on men.
"She's so beautiful" America said to a delighted Ned and Peter and MJ pretended to cover her ears as y/n swore some curses dominating the stage like a goddess.
Tony was looking at you with a wide smile on his lips. He learned to play the piano from his mother, he was never good at it, but he kept playing because it kept him close to her and especially after she died. You both had that in common, you both tragically lost your parents and he swore to himself that you would never feel like he did. Alone and helpless. He made you a home and you were only 10 years old when you moved in with him and you loved each other before and loved each other even more now. Together from tragedy, as you said.
You've always had a thing for drama, and it wasn't surprising that you wanted to study philosophy, let alone that you were so good with words. He taught you to play the piano, but you went way beyond that, you were an artist. Your music was an escape from your problems, it was where you put your insecurities and uncertainties and fears and he would thank heaven if he believed in god that you found a healthy way to do that. You never had his self-destructive tendencies, although you seemed rebellious, you  never committed a reckless act. You turned everything into beauty and if through that beauty you were able to help other people he wanted to be there to support you, to give you the necessary space to shine.
"I'd like to dedicate the next song to my parents and my godfather Tony Stark." You said sitting by the grand piano and running your hand over your sweaty forehead, your hands were shaking a little as your fingers slid along the keys playing with the intro of the song as you tried to calm down "We've been through a lot but we always found our place next to each other. I love you, Tony.
Natasha had heard that song many times when you sang it alone on the piano on rainy days in the main hall of Avengers Tower, but it took on a whole new life with the whole band. It was no less sad, but it was less of a lament and more of a battle cry. As someone who had been through a lot at a very young age, Nat understood you. Maybe that's why you were so close. Nat knew that pain and grief do that to people.
"As much as I'd like the past not to exist It still does. And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here, I'm just as scared as you"
Pepper squeezed Tony's arm, resting her chin on his shoulder. She knew that you shared an irreparable loss and that only you understood what it was like. He always got emotional when he heard you singing that song and this time it was no exception, his eyes were full of tears.
When your pocket show ended you were cheered by the crowd, Thor's screams towering above the rest like a proud big brother. You adored him, he always made you laugh.
The hall emptied little by little until all the guests had left, Tony was talking to the two producers who left looking satisfied. Some Avengers were sprawled on the sofas furthest from the hall, others had already left. Thor and Sam were vying for the most drunk spot and Sharon and Steve were sitting hugging each other, his arm around her shoulders. Maria, Yelena and Kate Bishop were laughing at some fun Clint had made, Nat and Bruce were talking at the bar and Peter and MJ seemed to be having a romantic moment while Ned marveled at the things America was telling him about the multiverse.
Stephen was on his way to tell America they had to go home when you came back to the lounge after having escorted your band mates out. You were barefoot, your hair clumsily tied in a bun, the mask melting slightly at the corners of your eyes. He could think of only one word: beautiful. You looked human again after having ascended as some kind of goddess demanding worship. Or maybe come back to the surface after having lured him like a siren willing to take him with you to the depths.
"You were amazing" Tony said hugging you. "I'm proud of you" You hugged him happily and cast a look at Stephen coming towards you.
"Still here, doctor? Isn't it past time for old men to be sleeping?" He smirked. He knew very well that your jokes about his age were much more of an affirmation of how attracted you were to it than actually a tease. He liked to play your game.
"No, but it's definitely past time for little girls to be out of bed." You bit your bottom lip deliberately, "I can't sleep without a goodnight kiss."
He opened his mouth to reply when America came running towards you, wrapping her arms around you, "You're a star, like Dua Lipa or something." You frowned ready to correct it when Stephen shook his head no "Just take the compliment" You chuckled "It's something like that"
Stephen grinned "You were amazing, I really liked what I heard."
You smiled from ear to ear "Really? Please doctor tell me about it" He chuckled "Maybe some other time, now I need to get America home."
 "I thought it was amazing" America replied giving him an angry look "you have so much stage presence, one thing I like about this universe is that people..."
You weren't paying attention to a single word she was saying, your eyes were all on Stephen who was looking at you smiling watching the scene.
"You're absolutely right" was all you replied.
"Alright, lets go home. Its very late,  America, tomorrow you go back to Kamar Taj with Wong, remember?" She groaned "They could at least let me rest for the weekend." You sighed watching as he opened a portal to the Sanctum.
"Hey Strange, you are leaving?" shouted Thor resoundingly from across the room. He nodded waving goodbye. "Good night doc" Tony called from the table where he was talking to Pepper and Rhodes.
America waved goodbye and walked through the portal up the Sanctum stairs and out of sight.
"Well, see you around" You said trying to hide your disappointment to see him leave. He approached you and you could smell his perfume mixed with alcohol. He kissed your cheek lightly, but enough to make your entire face heat up at the touch of his goatee on your skin.
"Now you can sleep" He said smirking.
You nodded smiling trying to control yourself not to look too interested "Good night, Stephen"
"Good night, sweetheart"
He passed through the portal which closed immediately leaving only golden sparks behind. You sighed looking for the closest chair you could sit in before your legs gave out. He called you sweetheart. He had never called you that before, or any other way than your name. You smile putting both hands on your face "I'm so fucked!"
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