#this series does not hold back on the psychological warfare

[ficnoire2]

A Little Legendborn/Bloodmarked Top 10 (Spoilers Ahead)

Happy Black History Month!  As we approach the release of the extended Bloodmarked chapter and the Will POV (as well as the painful wait for Oathbound), I thought I’d compile a list of my top 10 favorite Bree moments from LB and BM.  I have always enjoyed lists and trivia of some sort and thought it would be fun to highlight some of my favorite moments from the series. These are the moments that made me shout into my book with joy, frustration, delicious vengeance, and squeal with pure giddiness.  I am sure there are many more to add, but these are ten scenes that hit for me.  Hope you enjoy!

10. Punching a Demon

“The demon stands, snarling in a flash of triumph, lifting Nick high–then slams him into the silver stone.  His body goes still.  I’m running.  I barrel into the demon just as Sel swings Nick’s sword.  Together, we send the body in one direction, and the head in another.”

Well come on then fearless Scorpio KING!!!  I loved this moment because it gave us a glimpse into what was to come from our Bree.  Before she knew the extent of her power she was hurling herself into the thick of it.  It also gave us a sneak peak into her partnership and power sharing with Selwyn as well. This scene made me excited to see what else our King was truly capable of. 

9. Threatening Aldrich

“You may have a King’s blood - Aldrich finds my gaze and holds it–but you are not a Scion.  You are…a camgymeriad.  A mistake.”  

To which Bree replies, 

“Aldrich!  I call.  He pauses at the door to look at me.  I let the grin spread slow across my face. Not here, Not today.  But somewhere.  Someday.”   

I loved this call back from the prologue in Bloodmarked when Jessie describes the smart ass at the diner with the slur written across his face.  We get a glimpse into the darker parts of Bree, the parts of her that enjoy the challenge, the fight.  It also showed that if the good ol’ boys club doesn’t have anything, they have audacity.  Imagine being in her presence and because she does not come in the package you want her in, she is deemed unworthy. Brought into this life because of mediocrity, brutality, and privilege.  To be deemed a mistake because her very being is too grand and unfathomable to comprehend.  I love the grin she gives him. It screams “Fuck around and find out” and I am looking forward to Bree making good on this promise. 

8.  Hitting Sel Where it Hurts

“Throwing a temper tantrum, crossroads child?  I spit.  Both of Sel’s dark brows fly up to his hairline, and red spots appear on his cheeks. Direct hit.”

I cackled when I read this!  Not to mention Sel was so pissed he was slamming doors off in the distance.  Anytime Bree gets in touch with her shadow side and employs psychological warfare, I squeal (just a tiny bit).  It was one of those scenes that made me say “That’s what your ass gets!” Which was mild in comparison to Sel trying to, oh I don’t know, KILL HER!  No matter how scary he was at the moment, the fact that she couldn’t help but toy with him was a masterclass in being with the shits. 

7. Embarrassing Vaughn (with his basic ass)

“You’re a bigot and a bully, Scheafer.  You insult me because you think you know what I am capable of, but you don’t.  I must make you nervous, though, for you to expose your insecurities about your odds of success in the tournament…”

“I grin at Vaughn and look him directly in the eye.  Our future king does not owe you an explanation, and behaving as though he does displays insubordination, disloyalty, and fear.  Not power.  Not strength.  In fact, I pity the Scion that chooses you as their Squire.  That is, if you get chosen at all.”

DAAAAAMMN HOMIE! Talk about reading for filth!  As you can tell, I love when Bree pipes up. Vaughn mustered up all that tiny dick energy to lunge himself across the table and the baby girl didn’t even get out of her chair.  The constant microaggressions, the persistent air of “She doesn’t belong here” primed Bree to get some things off of her chest at this moment and what better asshole, than Vaughn (who was mesmered into obscurity) to get all the smoke?  I have lived moments similar to this, when you just don’t care anymore.  The weight of decorum becomes too heavy and it's time to “Let them thangs go” as we used to say back in the day.

6. Sexy Bloodwalk with Nick/ Kissing Sel

Nick

“His eyes snap open and lock with mine, pupils swallowed in silver.  “Yeah.” He nods, wraps a hot palm around the base of my neck, slides it up into my hair. “Yeah.” And then his mouth is on mine, and every call and response we’ve ever felt pales in comparison to this one.  Power cycling from his body to mine in a slow loop between his skin and mine.  Everywhere we touch speeds the rotation until I can’t tell whose breath is whose, whose flame arcs higher, which spark starts the fire that surrounds us.  He moans, tugging us to the ground.  I open my eyes –and see that the stars over his shoulder shine in our rhythm too.” 

Well, shit.  There was a lot to unpack in this passage. Lots of metaphors.  Were they…?  Whatever freaky dreamscape, bloodwalk, Camelot, ancient descendent sex magic was going on here, I was here for it.  I had to read it again to make sure I read it right, and yup, I did! The euphoric, cosmic otherworldliness of it all was so carefree and light.  As @justbrainrot says “They were high in Camelot!”  I love that this scene takes place after Sel hides his true face and she decides to go see her other man!  Came back so bathed in “Love” Selly had to roll all the windows down!  

Sel

“Well,” I say, biting my lip.  “Maybe it’s not enough for me.  Before I can respond, I pull his head down and press my mouth to his indignant scowl until it turns soft and warm.  He shudders against me.  Then, his palm wraps around the nape of my neck, turning the kiss fierce, his mouth open and hot.  He pulls me in by the hip, closer, a pulse building between us, a shared demand.  There’s a whoosh, movement, and I am against a tree, bark digging into my back, Sel’s mouth working against mine before he tears himself away entirely with a low groan.”

 These two love a good hand on the nape of the neck!  I always enjoy the parallels Tracy creates.  Nick’s tenderness (even though he had Bree on the floor looking at the stars over his shoulder) in Camelot juxtaposed with Sel, Merlin crip walking her against the tree was delicious. The hint of feral lust out there in the woods was perfection and I love that Bree made the first move.  Lots of world tilting and hot mouths and passing fire and heat and moans and shit!  Bree leaning into her light and dark side letting herself be loved on and loving on someone else.  Taking charge and going after what she wants (in the moment or otherwise).  Reckless girl indeed. 

5. At the Fair with Faye

“Inside the box my mother’s charm bracelet is pulsing like a heartbeat.  When the tips of my fingers touch the gold links, a voice echoes in my mind.”

“Bree…”

“I drop it.  I’m gasping, choking, sobbing.  ‘Mommy…?’”

This was a hell of a scene.  The gravity of a mother understanding that she has limited time with her child.  Understanding that she will face terrifying peril while trying to give her as much covering as possible, without being there in the physical form to facilitate that protection was beyond heavy.  Listening to Faye nervously try to get it all out without alarming Bree, the desperation in her voice…heartbreaking does not cover it.  I adored the power in this scene because despite Faye knowing the hell her baby would go through, she wanted her to know that if she had to do it over again, she would.  It helps me understand some of Bree’s choices that will inevitably come with dire consequences.  When it comes to fight or flight, Bree is going to fight.  It’s in her blood. 

4. Root Sharing

“I take in a deep breath through my nose, and when I exhale, the flames of root blow to life in my hands, red and fierce.  I extend my hands before I can talk myself out of it.  Sel’s eyes rise to mine, drop to my fingertips, then back up to me.  I will him to understand, because I don’t know how to say what I want him to do.  I don’t know how to ask for this, don’t even know if it will work.”  

This moment had me on the edge of my seat.  I am one of those that shouts at the screen when I watch movies and I was shouting into the pages of this book.  I was STRESSED.  I knew they couldn’t go out like that, but I didn’t know how they were going to get out of this pickle.  The description of Sel looking at her like “Oh shit!” and then going with it!  They were in tandem.  Bree was in her bag here pouring her very being into Sel.  It was a show of force that let us know she has only scratched the surface of what she can do.  This was squeal worthy for me!

3. Escaping the Institute

“A release of breath through the earpiece.  ‘Crown Scion Matthews.’  A voice I don’t recognize.  I grasp the counter’s edge, swallowing. ‘Y-Yes.’  The voice turns muffled, like they’re facing away from the receiver.  ‘It’s her.’ 

‘Who are you?’

When they speak again, the voice is clear.  Confident.  ‘Someone who can create a five-minute window of escape for you…’  

‘Someone you can trust.’”

My number three moment takes me back to any film I’ve watched where the heroes were down and all seems lost.  An expertly crafted switcheroo, caper, great escape!  The hurried tone of the person on the other end of the earpiece, the anxiety of thinking “Damn, what if she drops the keycard?”  “What if the Mageguard is there when she opens the elevator!?”  And let’s not talk about Bree putting those track muscles to work to run down a dark hallway to free herself just before the barrier snaps back into place.  I felt the urgency of Samira telling her “You can go faster, run faster, trust me!”  When Bree crossed the barrier and made it to Alice, I cheered like I had won the Mega Millions. Plus, I love a good callback with the "someone you can trust" line William says in LB.

2. Burning the Streams/Erebus Deal

“Think of the power you possess and the woman who gave it to you. I smile, sadly. ‘I used to think that woman was my mother, and, through her, you.  Tried it her way and it didn’t work.’ She tilts her head.  ‘And why is that?’

‘Because you all didn’t give me my power.’  I kneel to face the streams, thrust my hands into the earth from which they came. ‘I did.’”

By the end of Bloodmarked, I was tired of Bree getting her ass handed to her.  Tired of her seeking out the ancestors only to be foiled at every turn.  This is the moment where she chose herself and I loved it.  It has sparked so many conversations and it makes me think of how older generations can sometimes shame you for choices that they did not have the courage to make.  Granted, Vera did what she needed to do in her time, but it also shows how generational curses  can follow and impact us.  I felt for Bree in this moment because she tried to do it like everyone told her (or didn’t tell her) and when all else failed, she bossed up and did it her way.  As a seasoned woman, I make it a point to give the younger girlies game, if they are willing to hear it.  By the time we got to her burning the streams and making a deal with Erebus, no matter how reckless it seemed, I was here for it.  Dragons take what they want and burn the rest, after all. 

1. Pulling Excalibur

“We are in the cave again.  We take one step and we are already at the stone.  We grasp the ancient hilt, warm under our fingers.  We pull Excalibur free.”

Look at you!  You made it to the end, to my number one Bree Matthews moment!  I have to say that Legendborn sat in my office for a year before I picked it up (life was lifeing like it never lifed before).  Oddly enough, it called to me.  I started listening to it on Audible first (before I read it physically).  By the time I got to chapter 54 and Bree started recounting Vera’s life, her strength, then being at the hospital and meeting Sel’s mom, I said “Aww shit!”  It was a “On your left” Sam Wilson moment, a Charlie Baltimore “Die screaming MF” moment, a Tupac “Hit em up” moment.  I had that chapter on repeat!  It had everything!  The sheer awe of everyone in the cave with their mouths agape watching our good sis snatch that sword out of the stone, her switching to sinister employing battle tactics and throwing fire like Megan throws ass, Martin Davis curling into himself and fleeing after telling her essentially she was not worthy!  I am a sucker for deep reverence so at the end, when Sel was the first to kneel at the feet of this amazing, dynamic, black girl…I could have never imagined such a thing in all my years.  This scene was written beautifully and was so satisfying considering all that our Bree had gone through in book one.  It was a huge middle finger to all of the stuffy Order bigots that pined over their blood and lineage when in truth, all they have and represent was built on the backs of those whose blood is baked into the soil.  Black Folk. Those whose souls are as rich and complex as the truth history keeps trying to bury.

What are some of your top Bree moments?  Let me know in the comments or give your good sis a reblog. 

Happy Black History Month Y'all!

P.S. - Did you know there is a Black History Wales????

#bloodmarked #legendborn cycle #bree mathews #tracey deonn

[uchihaharlot]

I have a question, what do you think of Obito/Tobi?

Hello nonny 😌🥹

You are my first ask on this blog 🥳🎉 And it’s of my beloved Obito/Tobi. 😍 Obito forever will be a gentle giant in my eyes with a side of fucking you stupid. Save that for another day. I will distinguish between the two personalities best I can. I feel like, aside from the mask hiding his identity, it was easier for him to be who he wanted to be in Tobi without the pressure.

Some sfw with mild suggestive themes Obito/Tobi headcanons:

Obito:

• Despite his role in bringing near world domination, he’s a lover not a fighter. After all the whole reason he went awol was because of Rin and Madara’s influence.

• Very easily manipulated. ☺️😅 Sorry Obito, he just is so gullible half majority the time. He doesn’t know any better, Madara completely lobotomized him from a young age to be his pawn after he died. A patsy for his own gain for Madara’s return from death.

• Definitely died virginal. Unless he fucked a white Zetsu, and as a teen he wasn’t very explorative given the seclusion and watchful eye of old man Madara. Plus he was focused on healing and growing half his damn body back. Plus, he didn’t look like himself anymore which probably gave him a bit of body dysmorphia and fed his insecurities.

• Genuinely believed he was being led the correct path in life. That he didn’t need anyone or the village — just Madara (especially didn’t need that Bakashi!!).

• Like majority of the men who are traumatized in this series, Obito can’t sleep at night. Late at night the inner confines of his mind play psychological warfare and close in on himself. ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ ‘Will this really make me feel better?’ ‘Will peace come once the dust settles?’

• Holds in his emotions until they crush him, figuratively and literally. Then he really carries the mantra of ‘burdened with glorious purpose.’ It replaces the heart on his sleeve and that’s when he hardens — or he thinks.

• Seeing Rin die definitely was that final straw and at the hands of Kakashi without any preemptive warning on the situation at hand. This is where Obito does a 180 and harnesses that resolve to carryon Madara’s will. Which is where Tobi comes out.

Tobi:

• Let’s see. I think when Obito designed became prisoner to this persona, it was a coping mechanism. Tobi was one way to get around his turmoil and needing a disguise was the perfect way to avoid dealing with deep seated issues. Win/win/???.

• It makes keeping a distance from the other Akatsuki members easier. Tobi doesn’t want to talk about his trauma or about his family’s history. When Itachi joins it’s imperative that the rest don’t know his secret. What trauma? He’s a new man in this new little world he’s made.

• Which is why in the beginning he’s such a butterball of feigned ignorant bliss. Obito never had the chance at a real childhood so what better way than to live that vicariously through his second ego?

• It also boosted his confidence, tremendously. Being an authoritative figure hiding within the ranks of a hand basket of deplorables made him deliciously confident. He can’t pinpoint why exactly, but having the Akatsuki on the string of his tennis shoe like puppets is an ego boost. It’s an added bonus that most are unsuspecting.

• I think Tobi sleeps most nights peacefully, not always though. Still has these moments of uncertainty, like that meme of your brain before going to bed and it spouts off some shit you’d rather not spend the night debating with yourself about. That still happens to Tobi but not as frequently as when it was Obito in the cockpit of his psyche.

• At the end of the day; we all have a face that we would hide. The face of a stranger, and when it comes to Tobi, Obito is his dead name — he doesn’t recognize much beyond the hurt that got him to where he was today. Letting it fester and further infect his brain. What did they call it? The curse of hatred: Obito is the poster child for this. Sure Sasuke would be a runner up but Sasuke literally chose the path of vengeance, Obito was molded by it. Tobi is the darkness and Obito became a prior life.

#obito headcanons #obito uchiha #uchiha obito #tobi akatsuki #akatsuki #uchiha clan #obito #naruto obito

[ecoamerica]

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[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s03e11 Ceremonies of Light and Fire table of contents - previous episode

It opens with a neat shot of Ivanova’s face in a porthole, backs away to show how tiny it is against a fraction of the ship, then back in. Love little things like that when they’re sprinkled in. Also, really smooth use of CGI there.

Garibldi’s arm is broken and, to my surprise, Ivanova rubs his back supportively when he talks about not wanting to be in a cast!

Delenn and Lennier are working hard.

“Lennier, you still haven’t told me what you think of all this.” “Opinion doesn’t enter into it. What is, is. Prophecy said one day we would unite with the other half of our soul in a war with the ancient enemy. It is what we have done.”

It’s amusing to see a mystic that’s so pragmatic. But Lennier hold multitudes. He’s a complicated, serene little guy. I just wanna. Squish him. In a nice way.

Not sure who was almost just attacked. Marcus? Probably Marcus. He’s from the Mars colony and is happy they seceded from Earthgov.

Sheridan is back in a dress uniform for the funeral of the crew who died defending B5 last episode. It’s surprisingly few, and only seems to have human names. I do hope we get a recounting of the Narns who died as well.

Does Londo holographically record all his meetings? Amazing. Love the tiny hologram to shame Lord Refa from Londo, who should be feeling a lot more shame than he is. So funny - legitimately funny seeing Londo try to shame Lord Refa into doing the right thing. When did shame ever work on Londo? Oh, never mind. He’s backing up the shame with poison. That’s a much better insurance policy.

Londo seems to be feeling emboldened by his meeting with Lady Morella, third wife of the late Emperor, and seer of renown. Since he made a series of Less Idiotic Decisions and Delenn wants to invite him to the healing ceremony it looks like we might be at the beginning of Londo’s redemption arc!

Ahhh, the would-be-murderers are Nightwatch who went undetected, and one of them is a total murderous psychopath who “once took seven days to kill a Minbari,” and from the sound of it, enjoyed slowly dismembering a living person and would love to do it to Delenn! Fucking creepy! I don’t like that! To the Nightwatch person who said the Minbari are weird about their leaders and might take it personal if they kill Delenn…yeah. Maybe reconsider your life choices.

This dive bar people have been ending up since season one is, I have just realized, one of the places where B5 is actually high fantasy. People slink around in dark hooded cloaks, in leather bondage gear, with strange costumes and bandoliers slung around themselves…it’s the fucking tavern everyone starts their quest in when they play DnD.

The station’s base setting is as a snarky, New Jersey-accented AI? That’s actually quite fun.

Londo, don’t dish out the snark if you can’t take it. And also, be more grateful that after you expressed that you missed Delenn a few episodes ago, that she invited you to something!

Something about Londo brings out my urge to lecture directly to the character. Probably because he could use a good talking-to.

Tragic Marcus backstory! It seems he didn’t grow up on Mars colony, since it was destroyed, or perhaps it was a single dome? He doesn’t want to do the ceremony, since it requires giving something up, and he’s lost his friends, family, and home. Delenn says, wisely, that he must give up his grip on the past, and how he uses it to hurt himself.

I knew there was depth behind those devil-may-care green eyes. He’s so rogue-coded.

The Nightwatch successfully kidnapped Delenn! And Mr “I like to cut people up while they’re alive” does not like being told that she’s faced worse than him. He wants to be the worst thing anyone’s ever faced.

Wow, Delenn really got to him! Her psychological warfare game is on point.

The aftermath of this barfight isn’t doing anything to convince me that Marcus isn’t rogue-coded.

Lennier: “I see they trained you well back home.” Marcus: “I’m not repressed anymore.”

B5 is a comedy, actually. That's the real quote. And then Lennier goes, basically…. “Me neither. I love Delenn!!” Me too, guy.

He’s her knight! In a scholarly way! He’s a chivalric ideal. Very sweet. Very high fantasy of him to confess his love of a Lady to a rogue in a tavern. Me too, guy.

The senior staff: we need more info Marcus: I got u. Level 14. Senior staff: how do u know that Marcus, hiding his bloody knuckles: a kind stranger told me

Are they having a shootout in the fusion reactor core? Fucking ballsy, as is Captain Lennan successfully throwing down with his hands tied behind his back. And Delenn jumping in front of a knife for John??? Wow, I got 20 credits on John not killing him. Ope, I win.

“I can no longer imagine my world without you in it. I don’t know exactly when or how it happened, but I’m glad it did.”

OK, so I was having feelings about everyone bringing their uniforms and confessions to Delenn…and I was tearing up over Susan’s “I think I loved Talia,” and when Dr Franklin came in, Partner said, “I’m addicted to speed,” and then Franklin said “I think I have a problem,” and that shook me right out of my sadz with a guffaw. I miss Talia! Bring Talia back! I don't believe she's gone for good. I was promised. p r o m i s e d . a kiss.

Nifty new uniforms! For a moment I was almost correct with my joking prediction that they were going to run around in civvies till humanity is reunited.

If Londo and G'Kar had some to the ceremony, did Delenn have new kicks for them too?

Next!

#woodsfae b5 #delenn #john sheridan #susan ivanova

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Visit

the next part of my Vampire Daniel series. read it below or here

Armand is going to visit Marius.

All Daniel knows about Marius is that he turned Armand; they have some twisted, weird parental relationship; and he's pretty sure they used to fuck. He doesn't know how he feels about the last one, exactly. He doesn't like Armand going to visit what is essentially an ex, and he gets why. But he doesn't have the right to feel that way, not when he and Armand aren't together.

(Even if they could be, if Daniel would only allow it.)

Daniel suspects Armand is visiting Marius to see if he can dump him off on him. He's so afraid of Daniel leaving that he'll make Daniel leave. It's idiotic, but it's on brand.

But since Armand is visiting Marius, Daniel decides to meet Louis. He's in France with Lestat at the moment (Daniel tries not to judge; given his thing with Armand, it feels a little like the pot calling the kettle black.) They decide to meet in a little cafe in Paris, some place Daniel had visited years ago with Armand.

Louis looks good when he sees him. There's something lighter in the way he carries himself and his smile seems genuine. (Daniel will have to tell Armand; he knows Armand still worries for Louis.) Louis hugs him when they see each other and it's nice. It's new, or rather, new again. Familiar, now that he has his memories.

They sit and order coffee neither of them will drink. Louis wraps his hands around his cup and soaks up the warmth. “I'm surprised Armand is letting you out of his sight.”

“He's visiting Marius. He thinks I'm in Dubai.”

Louis arches a brow, but doesn't call him out on lying to Armand. But Louis was with the man decades; he knew the kind of psychological warfare Armand could wage when he didn't get his way. “Marius, huh? That what this is about?”

Should it be? Daniel's not going to think about it. “I don't care if he visits his ex.” Then, because he can't help himself, “What's this Marius like anyway?”

“Why does it matter if you don't care?” Louis teases. Daniel forgets how much of a little shit Louis can be when he wants. But Louis isn't cruel, so he adds, “You'll see for yourself. He comes with Armand, sort of like a father-in-law.”

“You telling me they didn't fuck?”

Louis pulls a face. “We're not going there. That's Armand's business.”

Okay, there was something interesting there. Before he can question further, Louis adds “He has this thing, Marius. He thinks he knows Armand better than Armand knows himself, that he knows what's best for him. But no one knows Armand.”

“You know him.” Daniel stamps down the old, bitter jealousy.

Louis smiles softly at him. “Give it time. I was with him decades. These things come slow with Armand.”

“Doesn't matter. We're not together,” Daniel says.

Louis holds back a laugh. “Course you're not.”

Daniel decides to cut to the chase. “Did he make you hunt?”

“What?”

“Armand, did he make you hunt?”

Louis relaxes. “So that's what this is about.”

Daniel admits, “I'm good at it. But I don't like it.”

“I'd say it gets easier, but you don't want it to.”

Daniel shakes his head. “No, I don't.”

Louis leans forward. “Look, Armand just wants to be sure you can take care of yourself. Give it a few months, he'll stop.”

“You think?”

Louis shrugs. “I can talk to him, if you like.”

Daniel thinks that's probably a bad idea. “Doesn't know I'm here, remember?”

“He wouldn't care. Why are you hiding it?”

Daniel doesn't really know. He plans to tell him later anyway. Maybe he just wants something that feels like his, without Armand's input. “I don't care if he cares.”

“He loves you, you know,” says Louis.

“I know,” Daniel says. “I know.”

#iwtv fic #daniel molloy #daniel/armand #armand/daniel

[juurensha]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime, books, movies or tv series)? Thanks....

I LOVE THIS QUESTION!

So in no particular order, my top 10 favorite characters:

Let's just these guys out of the way because everyone is going to yell at me for loving the same trope: Dabi/Todoroki Touya from Boku no Hero, Jason Todd/Red Hood from Batman, and Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier from Marvel:

Yes, I do love ppl who were sweet to begin with but then died and came back for VENGEANCE as a darker self. :DDD I am hoping that similar to Bucky and Jason, Dabi can successfully make the turn from anti-villain to anti-hero (and if Horikoshi kills off Dabi, I'm done).

Speaking of anti-heroes, next is our badass magical girl who never gives up (to her detriment in the end), Akemi Homura from Madoka Magica:

The way she uses her time stop skills are amazing, and say what you want, but this girl does ultimately manage to reach her goals in the end (....by maybe destroying the world, but hey, that's also impressive in some ways!)

Next up is our favorite Ankh-Morpork Watch Commander from the Discworld series, His Grace, Duke Sam Vimes:

Grumpy, tired, cynical, but by god, he's going to track down the perpetrators and protect the people of the city! His arc from bright wide-eyed idealist to drunk to respected commander of the city watch is really something to behold through the series, and he's why the Watch books in the Discworld series hold such a special place in my heart.

Now for another character who only exists in books (to my sorrow): Mara Jade from Star Wars:

Technically she only exists in Star Wars Legends now because Disney was evil and decided to retcon her and a ton of other things out of existence, but I LOVE HER ANYWAY AND SHE'S STILL CANON TO ME. Former Emperor's Hand who is cast adrift after the death of Palpatine, she very slowly befriends and then falls in love with her former target, Luke Skywalker, and becomes a Jedi Master as well. She is the best thing in the old Star Wars books, and really, you should read some of them just for her.

Continuing with the scifi theme, let's talk about ART from the Murderbot novels:

Nope, ART isn't the humanoid figure on this cover, that's Murderbot (who I also love). ART is the ship! ART stands for Asshole Research Transport (Murderbot's affectionate name for it), although its formal name is Perihelion, Peri for short. ART is a super-intelligent ship who is snarky as hell but also wibbles and has to take a moment when watching a show where characters die/may die. It's also fiercely protective of its crew and friends, as evidenced when it threatens to bomb a colony to oblivion if they don't return the captured Murderbot.

Switching back to anime, let's introduce Hiruma Yoichi from Eyeshield 21:

Hiruma is the trigger-happy captain of the Deimon Devil Bats and the driving force for most of the series since he's the one running recruitment and training for a lot of the series. He has blackmail on absolutely everyone, an arsenal of a small army, and believes that intimidation and psychological warfare are the way to go! He's absolutely hilarious, but he also cares deeply for his team members and friends.

Going with the mind game masters, we have to mention Maeve from Westworld:

Ignoring season 3 (because season 3 was kind of a mess), Maeve might have been programmed to go off course, but she charted her own path forward ultimately, dragging in allies and new programming along the way. I was happy she got to save her daughter, even if she couldn't ultimately be with her, and I hope she gets a new plotline in season 4!

And finally, the Revered Daughter of Drearburh Harrowhark Nonagesimus from the Locked Tomb series:

Look, if you can't already tell, I love gothic stuff, and Harrow is the ULTIMATE GOTH. Necromantic genius, brooding, sarcastic but with a very hidden, soft squishy center, I knew I loved her as soon as she was invited to a birthday party and proceeded to festoon herself in the most glorious of her dark clothes, repaint her face twice, then brood nervously over how to interact with people at a party.

So there we go! My top 10!

Other honorable mentions though that didn't make the cut: Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect, Olivier Armstrong from Full Metal Alchemist, Oikawa Toruu from Haikyuu, Riz Gukgak from Fantasy High, Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen, Xiao Jingyan from Nirvana in Fire, Cordelia Chase from Buffy/Angel, Will Graham from Hannibal, Lu Xu from Tianbao Fuyao Lu, Wu Jin from Surprise! The Supposed Talent Show was Actually..., Kagura and Sesshomaru from Inuyasha, and Raven from Teen Titans.

Hahaha, this got so long, but I hope you enjoyed it!

#juurensha #tag game

[wernerherzogs]

ok so. supernatural episodes 13.01-13.06 is like. cas died at the end of the previous season (doesn’t matter why. that’s not why we’re all here for.) and dean thinks cas is gone For Good and that there is nothing that can be done about it, and sam is like. desperate times, desperate measures, so Have You Tried Praying?, and dean is like. bitch of course i did. 

dramatic cut to dean having SMASHED HIS FIST AGAINST A WALL TILL HIS KNUCKLES BLED because he’d asked god to bring cas back, and god didn’t listen.

please notice how he mentions cas twice (2) before he even mentions his mum. absolute legend.

anyway afterwards dean is MOPING for a few episodes until sam I Don’t Get Paid Enough For This winchester is like. dude please admit you’re Not Handling It Well. Get Some Therapy maybe. and dean is like, I’m Fine. :) What’s Not To Handle Here. :)

also dean:

meanwhile cas is trapped in super turbo mega hell (the empty) where said empty in the form of his doppelganger inflicts psychological warfare on him:

so that’s cool. anyway sam later figures out that a way to bring dean outta his I’m Doing Fine And Not Missing Cas At All :) funk is some brotherly bonding that includes a hunting trip (just the two of them together like in old times!) and sacrifices such as sam googling the best strip clubs in the area that dean can go to and get drunk in. and at the end of it all dean finally admits that FINE. he is NOT doing well, he DOES miss cas, and HE JUST NEEDS A WIN. HE JUST NEEDS A MIRACLE. cut to CAS HAVING ANNOYED THE EMPTY to the point that it RELEASES HIM from super turbo mega hell. at this point we the viewers don’t know they had made a secret Deal about it. :( (eta: ok i have been reliably Informed that the deal happens later in the series, so it really was SHEER ANNOYANCE at cas that had convinced the empty to release him. 10/10 we stan)

HENCE the DRAMATIC REUNION. sam is like,

and dean is like,

in for a DRAMATIC HUG they GO. and cas asks, how long have i been gone? and dean says,

AND HIS VOICE CRACKS.

later dean says to sam: i needed a win, and i got cas back, so <3. that’s his miracle! love wins etc. they all go on a kind of western themed job which makes dean downright GIDDY. this is the way everyone else feels about dean’s Obsession With Cowboys, btw:

castiel: i’ve never met this man before in my life

the next morning cas tells his son (who’s also lucifer’s son. it’s complicated) about his husband’s sleeping habits:

and then they roleplayed together

nothing else happens during those six episodes obviously. this is destiel territory only. tl;dr cas was dead but now he isn’t so dean has put Depression on hold. thanks for your time see you in the next Season 13 Recap Installment

#kasia x spn #supernatural #am i doing this well. #long post #you're all watching with me i guess.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[thelittlesttimelord]

The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 29

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 29 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 29/? SUMMARY: Elise Smith is now a teenaged Timelord. In addition to losing the Ponds, the fields of Trenzalore are calling. But first they have to figure out exactly who Clara Oswald is.

[A/N - I’m realizing that this book may be the longest one so far purely because of the amount of specials in this series.]

The TARDIS landed and they stepped out.

A big mansion stood near them.

“Please tell me we’re not going to explore the big scary house,” Elise said.

The Doctor gave her a look.

“We’re going to explore the big scary house, aren’t we?”

The trio walked up to the door and knocked.

A man opened the door and the Doctor jumped out.

“Boo! Hello, I'm looking for a ghost.”

“And you are?”

Clara appeared at his side. “Ghostbusters.”

Elise rolled her eyes at the dumb joke.

“I'm the Doctor,” the Doctor said, holding up his psychic paper.

“Doctor what?” the man asked.

“If you like. This is Clara and Elise.” He walked over to the table filled with equipment. “Ah, but you are very different. You are Major Alec Palmer. Member of the Baker Street Irregulars, the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.”

He leaned in towards Palmer and whispered, “Specialized in espionage, sabotage and reconnaissance behind enemy lines. You're a talented watercolorist, professor of psychology and ghost hunter.” He shook Palmer’s hand. “Total pleasure. Massive.”

“Actually, you're wrong. Professor Palmer spent most of the war as a POW,” the woman with him said.

“Actually, that's a like told by a very brave man involved in very secret operations. The type of man who keeps a Victoria Cross in a box in the attic, eh? But you know that, because you're Emma Grayling, the Professor's companion.” The Doctor gave her air kisses.

“Assistant.”

“It's 1974. You're the assistant and “non-objective equipment”. Meaning psychic.”

“Getting that. Bless you, though,” Clara said.

“Relax, Emma. He's Military Intelligence. So, what is all this in aid of?” Palmer asked.

“Health and safety. Yeah, the Ministry got wind of what's going on down here. Sent me to check that everything's in order,” the Doctor told him.

“They don't have the right.”

“Don't worry, governor, I'll be out of your hair in five minutes.” The Doctor excitedly pointed at the equipment. “Oh! Oh, look. Oh, lovely. The ACR 99821. Oh, bliss.”

Elise chuckled lowly. “You’re such a nerd.”

The Doctor messed with the toggles. “Nice action on the toggle switches. You know, I do love a toggle switch. Actually, I like the word toggle. Nice noun. Excellent verb.”

Clara reached down to touch something and the Doctor slapped her hand. “Oi, don't mess with the settings.” The Doctor scanned the area with his screwdriver.

“What's that?” Palmer asked.

“Gadget. Health and safety. Classified, I'm afraid. You know, while the back room boffins work out a few kinks.”

“What's it telling you?” Emma asked.

“It's telling me that you haven't been exposed to any life-threatening transmundane emanations. So, where's the ghost?” The Doctor picked up a candelabra. “Show me the ghost. It's ghost time.”

The group followed the Doctor down a dark corridor, with only the light from the candelabra to light their way.

“I will not have this stolen out from under me, do you understand,” Palmer told them.

“Er, no, not really, sorry,” the Doctor said.

“I will not have my work stolen, then be fobbed off with a pat on the back and a letter from the Queen. Never again. This is my house, Doctor, and it belongs to me.”

“This is actually your house?” Clara asked.

“Why would you want to live here?” Elise asked.

Palmer ignored Elise’s question and answered Clara’s.

“It is.” Clara laughed.

“Sorry. You went to the bank and said, you know that gigantic old haunted house on the moors? The one the dossers are too scared to doss in? The one the birds are too scared to fly over? And then you said, I'd like to buy it, please, with my money.”

“Yes, I did, actually.”

Clara crossed her arms over her chest. “That's incredibly brave.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Or stupid.”

Clara hit her on the arm.

“What? It is!”

There was a loud creaking noise.

“Listen, Major, we just need to know what's going on here,” the Doctor told him.

“For the Ministry.”

“You know I can't answer that.”

“Very well, follow me.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Major Palmer led them into a living room. It was much warmer than the rest of the house and it looked almost livable.

“So, what's an empathic psychic?” Clara asked Emma.

“Sometimes I sense feelings, the way a telepath can sense thoughts. Sometimes, though. Not always.”

“The most compassionate people you'll ever meet, empathics. And the loneliest. I mean, exposing themselves to all those hidden feelings, all that guilt, pain and sorrow and…”

Elise elbowed the Doctor. Shut. Up.

The Doctor gave her a light glare as he rubbed his side.

“Would you care to have a look?” Palmer asked.

They approached a board covered in pictures.

“Caliburn House is over four hundred years old, but she has been here much longer. The Caliburn Gast. She's mentioned in local Saxon poetry and parish folk tales. The Wraith of the Lady, the Maiden in the Dark, the Witch of the Well.”

“Is she real? As in, actually real?” Clara asked.

“Oh, she's real. In the seventeenth century, a local clergyman saw her. He wrote that her presence was accompanied by a dreadful knocking, as if the Devil himself demanded entry. During the war, American airmen stationed here left offerings of tinned Spam. The tins were found in 1965, bricked up in the servants' pantry, along with a number of handwritten notes. Appeals to the Gast. For the love of God, stop screaming.”

Elise rolled her eyes and scoffed.

Both Clara and the Doctor gave her a look.

“She never changes. The angle’s different, the framing, but she's always in exactly the same position. Why is that?” Clara asked.

The Doctor picked up the candelabra.

“We don't know. She's an objective phenomenon, but objective recording equipment can't detect her…”

“…Without the presence of a powerful psychic,” the Doctor finished.

“Absolutely. Very well done.”

Emma gasped. “She knows I'm here. I can feel her calling out to me.”

“What's she saying?” Clara asked.

“Help me.”

“The Witch of the Well. So where's the well?” the Doctor asked.

“A copy of the oldest plan that we could find. There is no well on the property. None that we could find, anyway.”

The Doctor tapped Clara on the head, making her jump and turn around. “You coming?” he asked her softly.

“Where?”

“To find the ghost.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“Because you want to. Elise is coming.”

“Only because if I don’t, you’ll get yourself into more trouble,” Elise snapped.

“Come on,” the Doctor told Clara.

“Well, I dispute that assertion.”

The Doctor and Elise started for the exit. “Eh? I'm giving you a face.” The Doctor jerked his head towards the dark corridor. “Can you see me? Look at my face.” He jerked his head again.

“Fine.” Clara walked towards them. “Dare me.”

“I dare you. No takesies backsies?”

Clara bit her lip and shook her head, before taking the candelabra and leaving.

The Doctor chuckled and turned to follow after her when Emma said, “The music room is the heart of the house.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Say we actually find her. What do we say?” Clara asked as they walked down yet another dark corridor.

“We ask her how she came to be whatever she is,” the Doctor said.

“You don’t actually believe all this do you?” Elise asked.

“What makes you say that?”

“Out of all the adventures we’ve ever had, we’ve never once run into an actual ghost. Why would they start being real now?”

“This regeneration is very practical. Did you know that?”

Elise shrugged. “Blame River.”

“Getting back to the point,” Clara said, “Why?”

“Because I don't know, and ignorance is, what's the opposite of bliss?”

“Carlisle.”

“Yes. Yes, Carlisle. Ignorance is Carlisle.”

They eventually came to the music room.

“Ah, the music room. The heart of the house. Do you feel anything?” the Doctor asked Clara.

“No.”

“Your pants are so on fire.” Clara giggled.

“Elise, anything?”

Something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “Maybe.”

The Doctor’s screwdriver started malfunctioning.

“Do you feel like you're being watched?” Clara whispered to the Doctor.

“What does being watched feel like? Is it that funny tickly feeling on the back of your neck?”

“That's the chap.”

“Then yes, a bit. Well, quite a big bit.”

The wood around them creaked.

“I think she's here,” Clara said.

The Doctor stepped out of the room and then back in. “Cold spot. Spooky.” He started walking around the cold spot. “Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. Cold.” The Doctor drew a circle around the cold spot.

“Doctor?” Clara asked, “Doctor!”

“What?”

“I'm not happy.”

“No.”

The Doctor walked out of the room and Elise ran after him.

It took Clara a few seconds to realize the two Timelord’s had left her. “Hey!”

#eleventh doctor #eleventh doctor fanfiction #eleventh doctor imagine #clara oswald #clara oswald imagine #the littlest timelord #the littlest timelord: the fall of the eleventh #hide

[ultravioletsoul]

Can you rank your fave CoD antagonists?

Hello there nonny, sorry for taking so long to reply and thank you for your ask ♥♥

Rank my favorite CoD antagonists? Sure, I can do that! There are several antagonists in the series, but I’ll only rank my top 3. Hope that is okay with you c:

3. Jonathan Irons

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Advanced Warfare may not be a series as popular as BO or MW, but I actually enjoyed the game and I also liked Irons. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve gotten that many antagonists that started out as our allies in CoD (at least I don’t remember any others atm), much any less an American antagonist, so that kinda made him stand out to me.

I’m not familiar with Kevin Spacey’s works, and I barely watched any trailers pre-release. So to see Irons go from someone who I believed genuinely wanted to make the world a better place, where every human being could live in peace and thrive, away from the pointless wars that governments waged, to someone who was willing to use any means necessary to achieve his goals, regardless of how many lives he had to sacrifice... well, that was something that hit me hard.

This man who gave my character a second chance, who treated me (Mitchell) as his son, who cleaned up after the colossal mess that others countries made, helped people from devastated war-zones rebuild their lives and gave them hope for the future, turned out to be someone I was forced to betray because of different viewpoints and philosophies. Despite everything, I think Irons had his heart in the right place, but his methods were ultimately terrible and in his messianic delusions he ended up doing more harm than good, so of course he had to be stopped.

And what I liked about him was that he didn’t start out as a bad man, he didn’t do all those things because of greed, and his characterization wasn’t that of a cartoonish villain. In a way I could find logic in his arguments, he made a few good points about the current state of the world and the inability (or indifference) of many politicians to solve the real problems of the people. But the root of it all lies in the loss of his son, his only child, to a government he no longer trusted nor had any faith in doing what was right. Despite having served in the military in his youth, Irons had grown disillusioned at the way the US handled domestic and international policy, and strongly disagreed with them— opposing the status quo in favor of change. 

One could argue that serving in the military was entirely Will’s choice all along, and as a grown adult he knew what he was getting himself into. Still Irons couldn’t help but think that if that war had never happened, Will would still be alive. So that left him with a bitter taste, and it served as the catalyst behind his actions.

If nobody else would bother to do anything to actually solve the world’s problems, then he would be the savior to do it— whether they liked it or not. And he didn’t care what methods he had to use, how many had to die, or if he had to plunge the world into total chaos before he could ultimately end all wars and bring everlasting “peace” (perhaps one of the greatest ironies) as his dream seemed to be. Even at the cost of such a high price.

I don’t think Irons gets the credit he deserves.

2. Raúl Menéndez

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BO2 is one of my favorite games and Raúl is undoubtedly one of the most memorable antagonists in the series. Much like Irons, his actions were heavily motivated by the loss of a loved one but his life is also one sad story, so it’s no wonder he turned out the way he did. Not to justify him, but it’s not hard to understand what led him to do all those things.

From a very young age, his life was destroyed by the actions of Americans, from the horrors of the dictatorship in Nicaragua (in which the Contras were supported by the US); the crippling and disfigurement of his young sister Josefina, due to the greed of an American owner who burned down a warehouse in order to obtain 11,000$ through insurance fraud. After losing everything during an earthquake, and becoming homeless, Raúl and his father started over by selling drugs, successfully establishing a cartel that was so powerful in Nicaragua that they were equally feared and admired among the people.

But this status and power they had newly acquired concerned the US government, and it wasn't long before they sanctioned an assassination order on Raúl's father and sent the CIA in to kill him. Raúl observed it all, a teenager back then, and managed to escape thanks to his father's training. Though he could do nothing to stop it, nothing to save his father, this event marked him and further embittered him against the US and the West. And the last straw was the unfortunate death of Josefina, at the hands of Woods. He lost his sister, the only living relative he had, and his world fell apart. But if we think about it, Raúl was indirectly responsible for her death too, after the horrible torture he put Woods through in Angola. So the next time Woods saw Raúl he lost his mind and threw the grenade that tragically bounced into Josefina's bedroom and killed her.

So he spent all his life orchestrating a huge plan, a brilliant plan, that would shake the US from the very ground. And he was damn charismatic while executing it, earning the support and approval of billions of people all around the world— even from those who lived in US soil!— to begin a world revolution and end the dominance of capitalist nations that had subjugated other weaker countries, amassing huge riches through market economy and wars for resources, destroying lives and sinking many in poverty. And he also manipulates and pits two superpowers against each other... sending everyone to the brink of another world war, or a second cold war at best.

He wanted revenge on the US for playing with the lives of other people, for taking everything he loved away from him, by making them live in fear and destroying everything they had built. He wanted them to feel the same pain, to suffer the way he did. And he wouldn't rest until he achieved that because he had nothing to lose anymore.

Depending on the outcome, he can get revenge on Woods for Josefina, as well. And though we all like it when the "good" guys prevail and foil the plans of the villain, I think this particular ending had a much deeper and stronger emotional impact. The conversation they have at the end is something I didn't expect. Raúl has come to kill Woods but they're both in a place where the years have beaten them down with the weight of they’ve done and rather than an over the top scene, what we’re given is quite the opposite of that. 

There’s no screaming, no heated argument between them, no dramatic lines. It’s just two old men who had to live with what they’ve done, and who have come to terms with the inevitability of that moment. Raúl slits Woods’s artery with Josefina’s pendant, and then he does something that surprised me: he closes Frank’s eyes, takes him off the wheelchair and lies his body on the bed. Something that is a huge contrast with what he did to Hudson many years ago... the savagery he used when killing him. For Raúl to behave that way with Woods, the man he considered to be his sister’s killer, it raises the question as to whether he still hated Woods after all these years, or maybe deep down he finally acknowledges that his actions (namely torturing Woods and killing his whole team) was the true motive that led to Josefina’s death.

The thing is, Raúl knows that he's to blame for what happened. It's also the reason why he burns himself alive in front of Josefina's grave. It’s because he has to pay for what he's done to her, too, and he chose to do it in probably the most horrible way possible but it didn’t matter to him. Nothing was more painful than living with the knowledge that his sister died because of what he did.

To him Josefina was the true innocent soul, who didn't deserve any of the suffering she went through.

1. Vladimir Makarov

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It’s no secret that Vladimir is my most favorite antagonist (and character) in all of Call of Duty.

Though his background and motives weren’t as well developed and explained as those of other antagonists in the series, his untold story (which you won’t find anywhere in the game, though you can deduce if you have a basic idea of the situation before and after the fall of the Soviet Union) perhaps says a lot more about him than one might expect.

There’s not a lot we know about his past other than the meager information that was provided in some loading cutscenes, but it’s reasonable to think that Vladimir wasn’t always the trashbag that we see in the games. He once was a young man with dreams of patriotism, who wanted the best for his country, who loved Russia with his soul, and who would do anything to protect her, because as a soldier that was what he was taught to do. As a soldier, that was his purpose in life and without that reason to drive him on, he had nothing left.

And however vague his backstory may seem to be, it gives you an idea that Vladimir in a way was a victim of a system that imparted a type of soft indoctrination on him, from a very young age (as many states do all around the world in some form or another, even those who hold democratic values), all the way to his education in the military academy and his brutal training in the special forces, that further cemented this undying love for Russia, maybe in a way that bordered brainwashing.

His true radicalization came after the fall of the Soviet Union with the loss of his homeland and the Soviet culture as he knew it, as well as Russia becoming weak and losing much of her power and influence across the world. Then came his deployment in Chechnya in 1994, where he lived the horrors of a war that most likely left him psychologically scarred after the experiences he had to go through. And when he returned home, he was kicked out of the armed forces under accusations of human rights violations during the First Chechen War. And they may be true, he probably did a lot of bad things there (under the illusion that he was serving his country for a higher cause), and sadly it’s something commonplace in many armed conflicts. I’m going to leave this short post here for some details on that.

When he returned from war, he didn’t receive any professional help or if he did, it didn’t work. He didn’t know how to cope, he ultimately was unable to adapt to a normal life, he became a misfit. He had lost his job, he had a stain in his career, and finding a decent way to get by was very difficult at the time when the country was in the middle of a political, social, and economic crisis.

He was in financial ruin, and it was hunger that pushed him to become a criminal (something that wasn’t uncommon for ex military men in 90s Russia). Not just that but also hatred for those in power as well as society as a whole, and what they represented: total decadence and the reason why Russia was falling apart with these “stupid” western conceptions about freedom that in his eyes did nothing but give leeway for debauchery and corruption, which he ultimately sought to “fix” by returning Russia to what it used to be (a god-fearing empire under the autocratic rule of a tsar that was likened to a father to all his subjects, and where religion was used as a resource to legitimize his power and as a moral regulator that maintained the social order).

He pretty much felt abandoned, betrayed by his government— a leadership that had done nothing but sink Russia deeper and deeper into ruin, destroying the values under which he was raised and turning people like him into cynical masses that had lost faith in everything and were adrift without any real purpose in life, no future to look forward to, completely disillusioned that the dreams they’d bought into, the promises they had been sold by the west, were nothing but lies.

He’s still a piece of garbage, we know that, but I also think that he’s gone through a lot of struggles and bad experiences in his youth that marked him and filled him with resentment. Everyone sees Vladimir as the puppet master of the storyline of MW, and we have to give him credit for that, but deep down he’s just a man who has been a slave to his own obsessions and ambitions, unable to free himself from the hatred that has poisoned his mind for years, which led him to commit so many atrocities and strip himself from any semblance of humanity— all for the sake of a higher cause, as he undoubtedly tried to justify his actions at the end of the day.

In conclusion, all three were marked by losses in one way or another, and saw themselves as men who had to take the hard path and do what had to be done. And it’s also curious that Call of Duty, while not a game with any deep meaning on the surface, almost seems like social commentary on how war ruins lives and how anyone can do horrible things if put through the wringer enough times. It’s like these stories are trying to say that bad circumstances can make bad men out of seemingly good people, who wouldn’t have done any of the evil they did if maybe things had been different.

And I think that’s what makes these characters so interesting.

#vladimir makarov #raul menendez #jonathan irons #call of duty #modern warfare #black ops #advanced warfare #i'm really sorry again #it took me a while to write this one! #but it's done at long last c:

[nellied-reviews]

Little Revolución Re-listen

Hey again! It's episode two of my epic Wolf 359 re-listen, which means:

Little Revolución

In which Eiffel hoards toothpaste, Hilbert and Minkowski get gas-happy and Command are, reading between the lines, the Actual Worst.

We open up with Mussorgsky's Night on the Bare Mountain, which I will always mentally link to my primary school, because for some reason they played it before morning assemblies a lot? (Which, in hindsight, was kind of weird.) Personal connections aside, though, it's just the right music to set the tone for this episode: big, bombastic and stupidly overdramatic.

What follows is a comedy-heavy episode, with slightly more fleshed-out versions of the non-Eiffel characters, which is nice to hear. Hera is sarcastic, Hilbert is suitably menacing, and Minkowski also sounds more like herself - and they all do things that actually advance the plot this time round! Yay!

That said, the star of the show, is still, without a doubt, Eiffel, who somehow manages to be even more ridiculous than last episode? This time round, we start in media res, after Eiffel has stolen the last remaining tube of toothpaste and is holding it hostage.

And okay. That in itself is a really funny idea. Of all the things to mutiny over, I love that it's something as mundane and low-key as toothpaste. It's just enough of a creature comfort to give the conflict stakes, but also... it's toothpaste, man. And it's one single tube of toothpaste! 

But I think most of comedy in this episode comes specifically from the fact that it's Eiffel holding the toothpaste hostage. Which means we basically get to spend the whole episode watching him dig himself deeper. There's a sense of futility to his mutiny from pretty much the moment he mutes Minkowski at the beginning, and from that point on, the it’s just a question of "how ridiculous will this get, before Eiffel breaks?"

The answer? Pretty darn ridiculous, and it is 100% Eiffel's own fault. I mean, at every step in this episode he just escalates things. From bringing up hostages in the first place to his whole announcement, complete with dramatic music that I assume (?) he must have added to the message himself just to make it sound cooler, to barricading himself in the comms room, literally everything he does here is totally nuts.

It's enough to trigger Eiffel Protocol M - and I really, really want to know what all the other protocols are, and why they were invented - which means that when the log comes back, we have a shivering, miserable Eiffel, slowly being driven mad by random loud noises. Which, again, I love. Putting characters in some sort of extreme physical discomfort feels like one of Wolf 359's go-to beats, both for comedy (case in point, this episode) and for drama (hello, Pan-Pan, and Mayday, come to think of it), and it's fun to see it used for the very first time here.

It's also at this point that we get an insight into what Minkowski and Hilbert are planning, and honestly, I really wish this episode featured more of them working together, because the glimpse we get is so good! Hilbert just straight up gassing Eiffel! Minkowski asking if there could, possibly, be some pain! "Minimal risk of brain damage"!

The show, at this point, is still pretty firmly committed to the log format, though, and will be until... actually, I'm not sure when we stop just getting Eiffel's recordings. Is it as late as Season 2? 

Either way, it means we do miss out on Minkowski and Hilbert having to work together, which is kind of a pity, although the episode works find without it. And in a way, it's almost funnier, because we're just as confused as Eiffel is, especially when the gas doesn't knock him out and gives him weird hallucinations instead. I mean, what is up with that? Did it just not work? Is is some weird psychological warfare tactic on the part of Hilbert and Minkowski?

In any case, it pushes Eiffel right to his breaking point, just in time for Hera to distract him while Hilbert dissolves the door hinges. Eiffel folds pretty rapidly after that, and ends the episode in the supply cl- sorry, in the brig. He honestly seems pretty resigned to his fate, as well. So at least he knows when he's beat. 

And to be honest, I actually feel sorry for Eiffel here. The whole episode, after all, shows how space can slowly chip away at your sanity, messing with you in small, irritating ways until, inevitably, you snap - even before Minkowski and Hilbert go to work on you. Eiffel's overreaction to running out of toothpaste is funny, sure. But behind it lie months and months where, little by little, he's been deprived of all his creature comforts. It's small stuff, but I can totally see why it would, cumulatively, start to drive you nuts, until any little thing - even toothpaste - might just push you over the edge.

Even worse, Command had to have called this. There is no way they "accidentally" failed to pack enough toothpaste - because it's not like the Hephaestus is anywhere near the end of its mission. So Command must have known that this would happen, and either they didn't care, or they actively wanted it to happen, as part of some kind of twisted, gaslight-y psychological experiment, not unlike the Empty Man, later on in the season.

Either way, it means that by the end of the episode, we're left with a sense of the negative psychological effects of daily life in space, and, potentially, our first hint at how awful Command is. Not bad, for an episode that is, still, a comedy episode about Eiffel hoarding toothpaste.

Because it is still, at the end of the day, a comedy. Sure, there's some dark bits if you read between the lines. But it's also just straightforwardly lightweight and funny, and after listening to the end of the series, do you know what? That's actually kind of refreshing. We don’t get many straight-up comedy episodes after season one, so revisiting this one was pretty great! 

Miscellaneous thoughts: 

"Nothing is premeditated here! The very suggestion that I would meditate anything... I mean, it’s laughable." Hah!

Well their new brig is going to come in v e r y handy, v e r y soon

Aww, Eiffel asking if anything is wrong with the star. Just you wait, Doug...

Also I 100% fell for Hera’s misdirect the first time I listened to this and I don’t know it that’s because Hera’s good or because I’m gullible

“When in doubt, whip it out. "It” being hydrochloric acid.”

#wolf 359 #wolf359 #w359 #wolf 359 relisten #little revolución #nellied reviews #shorter this time #because comedy episode #but hey #also #I want to listen to Night on the Bare Mountain now #just blast it really loud

[mrsnazariowrites]

Breathe Underwater

The Edge of the World: Chapter 12

Perfect Match AU - Pairing: Damien x MC

Perma-note: Dames’ name is Dexter in this series.

IMPORTANT A/N: So this is a bit of a sensitive chapter with what’s about to happen. I’ve kept the writing as tame and non-graphic as possible, but I’m including some warnings just to be safe.

Content Warnings for this chapter: Psychological Warfare, Humiliation, mentions of torture, Sexual Harassment

There are feelings of humiliation and vulnerability, but no sexual acts will actually take place.

If you need to catch up, Chapters 1-11 is in my Masterlist

The supporting lyrics are from the song A Shot in the Dark, by Within Temptation

Link to the Choices Fanfic Archive version: 

http://choicesfanfic.com/content/breathe-underwater/

Summary: When Harley returns, it’s all Dexter and Maya can do not to blow their cover. But when the truth of Damien’s interrogation comes to light and Maya is presented with a cruel dilemma, everyone is pushed to their breaking point.

‘Cause your soul is on fire, a shot in the dark

What did they aim for when they missed your heart?

"This is an interesting turn of events." Harley sauntered over to them with a smug look on his face.

"Harley." Dexter tensed, shifting awkwardly. "You know, most people knock before entering a room."

"And miss out on this blockbuster moment?" He quipped. "I don't think so! I mean what a scene!" He exclaimed, looking between Dexter and Maya. "Funny thing is, I was just coming by to see what was taking our other friend so long, and what do I find?" He gestured towards Maya.  "Not only did he not show up, I find you two . . . holding hands." Harley took another step towards his partner. "Sooo? What's the scene here, buddy?"

So clearly Harley hadn't overheard everything, but that didn't mean he wasn't about to have some questions about this.

Maya immediately locked eyes with Dexter, well aware of her pounding heart. Knowing that Harley was watching them, Maya resisted the urge to shake her head and settled for biting her lip nervously and letting her eyes make her plea for her. Please don't tell him. Dexter gave her a hard look, knowing exactly what she wanted him to withhold. It was a lot to ask for sure, especially considering that Eros was going to find out about the allegiance of their latest doppelganger, one way or another.

A series of emotions flitted across his expression before it smoothed over. Then Dexter immediately faced Harley. "Who says there's a scene at all?" He asked calmly.

Harley just raised an eyebrow.

"Although, when you put it that way, I can see why you'd think that." He remained steadfast under Harley's burning stare. "But for the record, I only came here to deliver some lunch and then she . . ." He jerked his thumb back toward Maya. "Started giving me trouble. Yelling, getting all emotional . . . you know the drill by now."

Harley snorted. "Of course she did."

"Naturally I got tired of her taking shots at me all day, so I thought I’d have a go just this once." Dexter's face twisted into a smirk, deliberately enough that Maya had to wonder if it was genuine. "Pretty convincing, huh?"

"That's . . ." Harley eyed him skeptically, then Maya.

Maya looked to Alana, who subtly tilted her head in his direction, silently urging her: 'just play along'. Knowing it was all to keep Nadia and her friends safe, Maya took a deep breath and turned on Harley, glowering at him when he glanced at her. "Lying cheats, both of you." she muttered. "Just say whatever else you have to say and get out."

Then Harley looked back at Dexter until his face broke into a wide smile. "That's brilliant!" He clapped his hands on Dexter's shoulders, not noticing the flash of relief on the Match's face. "And here I was thinking you'd gone soft on me!"

"I try."

"Anywho," His earlier suspicion gone for now, Harley let him go and then beckoned towards the door.  Two guards entered carrying in a table, chairs and a small monitor. "Back to what I was really here for."

Dexter narrowed his eyes. "What's going on now?"

"What's going on is the next phase of this experiment," Harley explained. "I still don't know what happened to our other guy, but since you took care of his part, it looks like things are still going according to plan." He turned to his partner, smiling. "Good."

"Good? Why is that good?"

"Every bit of data we get on human emotion pushes Eros' technology further," He said. Then he cocked his head. "Surely you still understand that. Right?" He emphasized that last word a little more forcefully.

Dexter swallowed hard, then nodded. "Of course."

"Now while you two were busy re-enacting a romantic tragedy, Cecile and I have been getting 'acquainted' with Damien." Harley walked over to Maya, grinning snidely. "I knew you were upset at being kept apart again. Figured the least I could do was keep you updated."

After the mention of Damien, the rest of the answer had gone over her head, as Maya could only focus on what the guards were doing now. She felt her apprehension growing by the second as she watched them set up the table and then leave. She didn't even notice Harley was behind her until she felt her elbow being grabbed. "Hey, what-" He pulled her over to the chair and sat her down, facing the monitor. "What is all this?!" She demanded.

"Oh Maya, isn't it obvious? I've got something to show you." Harley pulled out a small remote and switched it on. The screen revealed Damien with his cuffed arms suspended above him. Cecile, Rowan and a guard stood in front of him, brandishing a stun gun.

"Oh my god!" Alana immediately yanked herself forward, only to be stopped by her handcuffs.

"Damien!" Maya gasped and instinctively moved to get up, but Harley's hand gripped her shoulder and forced her to sit back down.

"Keep quiet and watch," he hissed. "And you," Now he was addressing Dexter, jerking his chin towards Alana. "Stay there and watch her."

The guard pressed the stun gun into Damien's side. There was a buzz of electricity and Damien's body jolted. He squirmed against the current for a few seconds until the guard stepped back.

"Ticklish," Damien quipped. "Good for your first try, though."

"That was just the trial." The guard adjusted something on the device and then returned to address the P.I. "Hope you've saved your energy, Nazario."

Maya watched in terror as Damien arched his back, gritting his teeth. His hands were balled into fists as he visibly endeavored to breathe through the pain.

"That the best you got?"

"Not even close."

Maya couldn’t watch anymore. "Stop it." She said urgently. Harley moved to turn off the monitor, but then she grabbed at his jacket. "No, I meant stop hurting him!" Tears welled in her eyes as she looked to Dexter. "Please!"

While Cecile and Rowan pressured him with questions, the guard cranked up the voltage further before repeating the procedure. This time, Damien let out a strained groan as the electricity coursed through his body. His muscles tensed and spasmed as he writhed in agony. The guard held the device steady as he continued to shock Damien at short, regular intervals, sneering at him.

"Stop!" Maya covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. Every pained shout pierced her ears and cut through her like a dagger. Soon, his screams were drowned out by her own, echoing off the metal walls of her prison. "Don't hurt him!"

She wasn’t even aware of when the monitor was switched off and Damien's torment wasn't on camera for them to see. When she could no longer hear his voice, she looked up to find everyone staring at her.

"Now here's what's going to happen, Maya." Harley said as he sneered at her. "Should you agree to cooperate, we're willing to give Damien a little break."

Maya simply glared at him. But then his next words made her blood turn to ice.

"Now, I'm going to need you to remove your clothes."

Her anger melted into shock and her mind went blank as she stared at him in horror.

"Of course rest assured, you won't be harmed in any way."

"What?" seemed to be the only word that could come out of her mouth.

"You heard me. That's the deal," He said. "Of course, you don't have to do it but that just means we'd need to use other interrogation methods on Damien."

She tried to say something again, but couldn’t seem to make a sound. She turned to Alana, whose gaze was darting between her and Harley. Even Dexter looked appalled, his once-crossed arms now hanging stiffly at his sides.

"What does this even have to do with your experiment?" Alana asked evenly. Her expression remained composed to the point that only a highly trained professional would've picked up on the flash of outrage, simmering underneath.

"Now if I told you that, the results wouldn’t exactly be accurate, would they?"

"Right, of course. 'Results'." Alana rolled her eyes. "This is what Eros has millions of dollars to spend on? You know there are plenty of strip clubs in town if you're that starved."

"Ugh, now why'd you have to go there?" Harley wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I'm programmed to be a perfect match for specific personalities, not to go fooling around in a den full of mindless junkies. You humans and your warped priorities are really something." Then he walked around to Maya's side of the table, peering down at her. "And anyways, it's not as though we could frame the environment to decrease hostility can we?"

He reached out as if he was going to touch her cheek, but stopped halfway, smirking at her. "I did say I wouldn’t touch you, Maya." He gestured to his hand, which was a good few feet away from her. "See? I can keep my word. In addition," he pointed at Alana. "You even have the benefit of a female being present to ease your mind."

"N-no." Maya choked out, scooting back in her chair instinctively. She took a deep, shaky breath and struggled to compose herself. "No," she spoke out more clearly. "You can't make me do this!" Then she turned to Dexter, who was watching her with narrowed eyes. "Dexter, you can't seriously be okay with this!" she pleaded. "I know you're not Damien, but you do have his personality! This is not something he'd want for anyone!"

Dexter said nothing. Only the storm of uncertainty in his eyes spoke for him as he processed that.

"Please," she begged. "You don't have to do this!"

"I'm sorry," Harley was looking between them, before he watched Maya incredulously. "Are you seriously appealing to him?"

"I-"

"Well this is intriguing," He placed his hands on the table and bent forward to scrutinize her. "One change in appearance and you've developed this much trust in him."

"What?! What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that in spite of everything he's done so far, you still believe he's going to help you. All because he looks exactly like your boyfriend."

"No, I-"

"That personality you're referring to? All information uploaded from Damien's file." He gestured to Dexter, smirking. "It must have felt so real to you when he pulled off his little masquerade at the Louvre, didn’t it Maya?"

"Eros may have distorted it to fit their own ends," Maya said sharply. "But that doesn’t mean they can change the real thing!" Her voice became a little more steady as she faced him defiantly. "Human or not, Damien would never hurt me! He would protect me at all costs!"

Harley didn’t even flinch. "You're right," he said sadly. "Damien's an honorable man. Courageous, strong and clever. He knows how to find his way out of situations like this, wouldn’t he? But this time with you around, he's holding back. Why would he endure so much unnecessary pain, if not to protect you?" He leaned forward, his eyebrows arched in sympathy. "Surely you don't want to be the reason for his pain? Just cooperate and you could help him for once."

Maya was at a loss for words. "But . . ." She looked around her helplessly, struggling to figure a way out of this; to keep Damien safe without having to suffer humiliation, without giving Eros the satisfaction of being able to manipulate her.

There was no way this stunt was going to let Damien off the hook. This was just one of many sick mind games they had in store for them and she wasn’t naïve enough to think that things weren't going to get worse from here on out. But what else could she do at the moment? Damien was alone. Alana was restrained and she herself was at the mercy of two androids tasked with collecting 'data' from her. Sloane and the others were still miles away; unless they got here soon or Damien or Alana managed to free themselves, no one could help her.

Harley observed her in silence for a little longer as she continued to sift through her thoughts. Then he sighed and pulled out his comm, his eyes never leaving hers. "Set it to maximum."

Maya's eyes widened and she shot out of her seat, every logical thought going out the window. "No, don't!" Then she could hear Damien's tortured screams again from over the intercom, louder than ever. Her heart felt as though it would tear into pieces and she gripped the edge of the table. "Stop!" She wailed. "I'll do it, okay? Just please stop it!"

Harley muttered a quick command into the device and just like that, the deafening noise stopped. Maya collapsed back into her chair, sobbing. He crossed his arms, watching her expectantly. "Now are you gonna cooperate?"

Maya's sniffling started to quiet, but she managed a quick nod. She stood up from her chair, still shaking.

"Whenever you're ready."

She could hear the rattling of metal against the wall as Alana pulled at her cuffs, frustrated. "Maya . . . no-"

"I have to, Alana." she wept. "I'm sorry. I can't watch them . . ." Keeping her gaze on the floor, she wiped her face and then took a deep breath. Though tears continued to spill from her eyes, she willed herself not to lose her composure again.

Maya had to focus her efforts to get her arms to work as she pulled her shawl off from around her neck, not looking at where she tossed it aside. She heard a shift of movement, but kept her eyes on herself, therefore not noticing when Dexter turned his head away to hide his pained expression.

Her fingers trembled as she unbuttoned her shirt, reluctantly sliding it off. The cold air hit her skin and she instinctively hugged herself. From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Alana averting her gaze; her sleek brown hair covering her face.

"Keep going." she could hear the amusement in Harley's voice. Maya wasn’t sure if anything . . . else was going through his mind at the moment, but she didn’t dare look at him to find out. Her mind went numb and she swallowed hard, unfastening the button of her jeans and removing them. Now in only her undergarments, Maya stepped away, hugging her shoulders again, allowing her long violet hair to fall forward, covering as much of her as it could.

"Harley please, this is more than enough-" She could barely speak above a whisper. Her muscles were stiff as she fought to keep her balance. "I've done what you asked. Let me at least keep these on."

Harley seemed to consider that, then Dexter spoke up. "I think that's enough, Harley. You've already achieved the purpose."

"All right, fair enough," He replied. "Now that wasn’t so hard was it?"

"Go to hell." Maya snapped.

"Ooh you seem touchy." Harley sneered. "Anyway, a deal's a deal and I appreciate your cooperation, Maya." Maya knelt down to take back her clothes, only for him to swipe them out of her reach. "I'll be holding onto these if you don't mind."

She pressed her lips together, fighting to maintain self-control. Then she glanced at Alana, who was glaring at Harley with a cold fury in her eyes that Maya hadn't seen before; her fingers whitened from clenching her fists.

"Ready to go see Damien?"

Maya bit back a gasp as the true intent behind this finally made sense. Oh god, what have I done? She'd expected this the second he'd made that unreasonable demand in the first place, but hearing it was so much worse as she realized what was about to go down. How was she supposed to face Damien in such a state?

Not too long ago, she'd wanted nothing more than to see him again. But now . . .

No, I don't want to go. Not like this.

"You're fine now, Maya. No one's gonna hurt you."

Nothing had happened. Harley had surprisingly kept true to his word and hadn't laid a hand on her, yet she still felt so violated.

She watched as Harley opened the door and stood outside, waiting. Taking a deep breath, still covering her chest, Maya walked forward numbly. Just as she reached the door, there was a sudden movement and Alana brushed past her, moving to stand between her and Harley.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you doing?"

"Coming with you, of course," she said point-blank. "I'm the additional 'female presence' you used for your experiment, remember?" she challenged. "You wouldn't want to compromise your data at this point."

"She has a point," Dexter said softly.

Harley frowned. "We don't even need her for this-"

"Hey!" Alana snapped. "Haven’t you done enough?!" Then she narrowed her eyes dangerously. "You might have me in handcuffs now and threatened to kill me numerous times, but don’t think for a damn second that I'm standing around because I'm intimidated by you." She stepped forward. "You do not wanna leave me to my own devices. One way or another, there's no way in hell I'm leaving her alone with you after this."

They locked eyes in a deadly stare for several moments until Harley waved his hand dismissively. "Fine," he spat. "Don't try anything funny though."

"I won't if you won't."

Harley was about to react to that but then Dexter stepped between them, clearing his throat. "Harley, I'll take care of this. Why don't you go on ahead?" When he was met with a skeptical look, he managed to force a convincing smirk on his face. "Let me handle this while you give Damien the good news . . ."

His partner's surprised expression immediately changed to that of pride. "That's a perfect idea." He placed a hand on his shoulder, nodding approvingly. "I'll go ahead then. Don't take too long."

Maya was watching this whole interaction, momentarily taken aback by Dexter's sudden change. He'd gone from being completely conflicted over this whole thing to complying with everything Harley was doing - and at this point, she'd just about lost any hope she'd had for him. The rational part of her told her Dexter couldn't have interfered without throwing himself and everyone else under the bus, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

But then just like that, here he was again, keeping Harley away from them.

What the hell is going on?!

Suddenly, she felt something brush against her arm and she jumped fearfully, hugging herself more tightly.

"Easy, Maya. You're okay." Alana held her hands up slightly. Her handcuffs were dangling off one of her wrists while the other held Maya's discarded shawl. "I just thought you might need this," she whispered. "I hid it behind me when Harley wasn't looking."

"Alana . . ." Maya watched, astonished, as Alana draped the shawl around her shoulders in an unusually gentle way. "Thank you." She cracked a small, grateful smile as she held the ends together, notably relieved at how it provided an extra covering for her. "But Harley said- and Dexter-"

"Won't do anything about this." The agent spoke with confidence as she eyed the wary Match standing at the doorway.

Maya's eyes darted in that direction where she noticed that Harley was already gone. Only Dexter stood there, his body taut with tension. He was pointedly looking away, and at the same time, placing himself in front of the opening as if in a futile attempt to shield them from sight. "You're probably right, Alana." There was a tinge of bitterness in her voice, but no defiance this time. "We're way past that point now."

Dexter flinched. "Maya, I-"

"Save it. I know." Letting out a resigned sigh, she braced herself and walked past him; following closely behind Alana. Though they were now out in the open, it was fortunately the middle of the night; which meant there was hardly anyone around. Still, Alana seemed to make it a point to shield her at every turn.

As they made their way to the other cargo container where Damien was, she involuntarily slowed her movement and almost collided with Dexter. She locked her teary eyes with his and he stepped back. His gaze swept over her before quickly fixating on the ground and they continued walking.

Maya hadn't looked at him for too long, but it had still been enough to pick up on something else in his eyes. She was half convinced that she was imagining the emotion in there that she hadn't seen clearly enough or even expected from him.

At least not until now.

Guilt.

But what Maya hadn't picked up on was the anger bubbling underneath; the little beads of sweat starting to appear on his forehead, the slight trembling in his hands - little manifestations barely concealing the rising tide from within as that faraway look in his eyes from before returned . . .

"I hated the person I was back then. I never want to be that man again. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. I worked undercover, never knowing who I could trust, lying to good people who didn’t deserve it."

"But you did it to help them. You protected those people."

". . . I couldn’t protect everyone."

I breathe underwater, it’s all in my hands,

What can I do, don’t let it fall apart . . .

-------------------

@lizeboredom @simplyaiden-blog @damienazarios @scalpeljockeybrycelahela @walkerduchess @mfackenthal @choiceslife @walkerismychoice @gardeningourmet @rainbowsinthestorm @itsraleighcarrera @eileendannie @mysteli @flowerpowell @the-everlasting-dream @aworldoffandoms @musicalnerd98 @thecordoniandiaries @brightpinkpeppercorn @lady-kato @kinda-iconic @universallypizzataco @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @jlpplays1 @desiree-0816 @cynicalworlds @darley1101 @odetomars @moonlightgem7 @h3llostrang3r @stillafictosexual @mrsnazariowalker @indiacater @burnsoslow @ab1901 @dcbbw @client-327​

#perfect match #damien x mc #damien nazario #maya park #alana kusuma #pm dames #harley doyle #the edge of the world #perfect match au #tw: psychological warfare #perfect match fanfiction #tw: humiliation #tw: torture #choices fanfiction

[azgedaspy]

–––         𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅  𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆.

alpha pair  :      includes the alpha and the alpha’s mate.

monogamous   with few exceptions.   some alphas may prefer to mate with a lower ranking wolf.

one alpha’s death does not affect the status of the other.

possess the most social freedom   ( choose where to go, what to do, when to do it ).

unlike human leaders, they don’t give orders.

during mating season   ( january to april ),   the alpha pair may move out of the pack temporarily to prevent interruption from other pack members.

usually the alpha has dominance over the entire pack including the alpha’s mate, but this is not always true.

beta wolf  /  wolves  :      second-in-command.

trusted helpers.

subordinate wolves  :      neutral members of the pack.

above omega, below beta.

omega wolf  :      lowest ranking member.

absorb the most aggression.

few individual / social privileges.

he / she is the baby-sitter; usually more puppy than wolf.

comic relief, lightens the mood.

–––         𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅  𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐒.

establishing and maintaining status.

a series of ritualized fights and posturing   ( best described as ritual bluffing ).

prefer psychological warfare to physical confrontations   ( based more on personality / attitude than size / physical strength ).

rank, who holds it, and how it is enforced varies widely between packs and between individual animals.

in large or laid back packs rank order may shift almost constantly or be circular.

loss of rank.

can happen gradually or suddenly.

dominance encounters are more common in the winter months   ( when mating occurs ).

nonviolent :    an older wolf may simply choose to give way when an ambitious challenger presents itself, yielding its position without bloodshed.

violent :    the challenged individual may choose to fight back, with varying degrees of intensity.   while the majority of wolf aggression is non-damaging and ritualized, a high-stakes fight can easily result in injury for either or both parties.

result :    the loser of such a confrontation is frequently chased away from the pack or, rarely, may be killed as other aggressive wolves contribute to the insurgency.

family  /  raising pups.

usually, only the alpha pair is able to successfully rear a litter of pups.

other wolves in a pack may breed, but usually they lack the   freedom   or the   resources   to raise the pups to maturity.

all the wolves in the pack assist in raising wolf pups.  some mature individuals may choose to stay in the original pack so as to reinforce it and help rear more pups.   most will disperse.

when the social order of the pack changes some researchers have noted that sometime subordinate females may mate.

flirting :    when the two are about to mate, they bond, sleeping close and touching each other more and more. They will approach each other making quiet whining sounds, mouth each others muzzles, touch noses, and bump their bodies together. There may be mutual grooming and nibbling of each other's coats and the two may walk pressed close together. The Male may bow to the female, toss and tilt his head, and lay his legs over her neck in what could only be described as a flirting manner. The two may even sleep side by side.

headcanons.

irises change color based on pack rank.   the darker the color, the higher the rank   ( except for the lone wolf which has black irises ).

links :    one,   two.

#in my default pack she's the al/pha's m/ate and therefore 1/2 of a/lpha pair #but otherwise i see her as a lone wo/lf or a b/eta / striving for be/ta #i have more ideas about this but this is what i learned for now #001. headcanon ‚ she’s beyond your archetype. #002. wolf ‚ tenderness in her howl‚ loyalty in her blood. #verse.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

What He Wants (Pt. 7)

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Summary:  On going series of Bucky getting his shit together and falling in love with you.

Warnings/ Content: Grumpy Bucky cursing, some angst. Nothing terrible though.

Word Count: 1725

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Rock bottom is behind us and our boy is awake and trying to figure out what to do next. He’s still in rough shape but we’re starting the climb back up to a better place. 

If you missed the first few parts, you can read them here: One Two Three Four Five Six

XOXO -Ash

What He Wants, Pt. 7

Bucky wakes up almost a full day later in a sterile white hospital room. It takes him a moment to orient himself in the room, panic filling his chest before his current memories rolled in. It is too similar to waking up in a HYDRA facility, his memories wiped, his body healing from the latest round of experiments they had performed. His breath comes in ragged sobs and he pulls desperately at his hair, trying to focus on the present. 

“Hey Rumpelstiltskin.” You say, startling him. 

His face pales and for a moment you think he’ll pass out again. Just as quickly though his cheeks heat, embarrassed to have his moment of panic witnessed. 

“What day is it?” Bucky asks, his voice full of gravel. 

“It’s Sunday. You’ve been out almost a full day.” 

He curses under his breath but makes no attempt to continue a conversation.

You go on anyway, needing to fill the silence. “We had to evac you to the nearest military hospital, you still had bullet fragments in your leg. You were in surgery for over an hour but they said you’ll be back on your feet in a few days because of the serum. You might have a slight limp for a while though, there was considerable damage to your calf muscle.” 

For the first time since he’d woken up Bucky looks down at his right leg which is wrapped up and slightly elevated in the bed. “At least it’s still attached” he jokes grimly. 

“Not funny.” You chide him. “We’re going to have to talk about what happened.” 

“Why? Shouldn’t you be off hacking into someone else’s brain?”

You let the barb pass, refusing to be baited by someone who currently looks like he can't sit up on his own. “Nope, the mission was a success. I’m back on my own free time now and I’ve decided to hang around and piss you off some more. So, would you like to tell me when exactly you decided to off yourself?” 

“I… I wasn’t… It’s none of your concern. I’ll be out of here by tomorrow and you can go back to pissing off the other people in your life.” 

“Stop dodging. And there are no other people in my life. It’s just me, and all I’ve got is time.”

Bucky winces slightly at your confession. He knows what it was like to have no one but yourself and it is more painful than he’d ever admit. “I’m real sorry to hear that.” 

His sympathy shocks you, as does the pain radiating from him. The agony you had a glimpse of two days ago must have been only the tip of the iceberg for him. “It happens.” You brusquely move on, refusing to let him keep dodging the subject. “You said something before you went down on the compound, a name, Stevie. You were talking to Steve Rogers, weren’t you? Is that what this was all about, losing Steve?” 

Bucky would have rather taken twenty more bullets in the leg than have this conversation with you. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Steve was my best friend and he lived a full, happy life. I’m glad he got to live the life he dreamed of for all those years, even though it meant we lost him so soon.” His words don’t match his eyes and for an ex- assassin he is a pretty terrible liar. 

“But what about you? Your life?” 

“Well, doll, that was almost not a problem. But you had to butt in.” 

“Damn right I did. What about your life, Bucky? Shouldn’t you get your happily ever after too?”

Bucky straightens himself a little at your use of his name. His insides clench curiously at the sound of it tumbling so delicately off your lips. “My happily ever after died the second I fell from that train back in 1944. Every moment since has just been a prolonged purgatory.” 

His words hit you like a ton of bricks but you steel your emotions, not wanting him to see how much his pain affects you in fear he’ll clam up. “I’m sure you still hate me, and you absolutely can, but I have to think that our paths crossed for a reason. I only know what I’ve read in your file and heard of in the news, and none of it adds up to the guy sitting in front of me.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” 

“See, there it is. You act like a tough guy but it’s all bullshit. I promise I won’t go near your mind without your explicit permission but I want you to come back to The States with me. I have a place that’s secure, only Fury knows where it is and he’s a tight lipped son of a bitch.” 

“Why in the hell would I go back with you? Why would you want me to? And I will never, ever, give you permission to fuck with my head. I had seventy years too much of that shit.”

You switch tactics, desperate for him to give himself a chance. “How did it feel, seeing Steve come back at the end of his life? Knowing he had found a way to get married, have a family, grow old with the love of his life. You had what, three months with him before he passed?” 

Bucky’s whole body shakes, he looks so frail under the flimsy hospital gown, dark circles haunting the undersides of his eyes. It’s like your words sapped him of any remaining strength he had. “Why are you doing this?” He whispers, barely holding on to his emotions.

“Because I want you to think, Bucky. Think about what you want the rest of your life to look like. You know what Steve did with his, how happy he was. I know he was ‘Captain America’ and all, but why does that mean he gets a happy ending and you don’t?” 

“If you knew half the shit I’ve done over the past seventy years you would already have the answer to that.” 

“Nope, not buying it. I’ve seen the files and I know what they did to you. You had no choice over what you were doing.”

“Still did ‘em though.” 

“Yes, physically it was you. But mentally you were checked out. That’s how mind control works, and they did a hell of a job on you.”

“He’s still in there, the Winter Soldier. Deprogrammed or not, he’s still lurking, waiting for a chance to pop back out. The world is better off if I eliminate the risk” 

“Bucky, of course he is. He’s part of you, you can’t just erase him. Deprogramming will remove the triggers that bring him out but that’s it. You need to make peace with that. The world will be better off with you in it. You have the potential to do so much good.”

“Like what, huh? What good can I do? Most of the world will never see past the monster and I can’t keep doing these missions. I’m so fucking tired, doll. I’m just done.” 

“So retire. Walk away. This mission payout was high enough to live on for two lifetimes, take it and come back with me.”

“I don’t take money from missions.”

This is news to you. “What? How do you survive without it?”

“Savings. Steve. And the Avengers. SHIELD knows not to deposit my pay, they gift it to a handful of charities I picked out when I signed on. I won’t profit from warfare.” 

Your heart sinks in your chest, he has more good in him than he realizes and you become even more determined to help him see it. “Well, I have enough stashed away from mine to keep us afloat. Do you know what I do back home?” 

“You sound like a fucking shrink.”

“Good call. I work with returning soldiers and trauma victims. I was one year away from graduating with a psychology degree before the attack on New York. The therapy center near my home is kind enough to look past my lack of a degree considering how close I was to finishing and my unique qualifications. I get to use my ability for good, to help people move on with their lives.”

“So I’d just be homework then.” Bucky wonders for a moment how much his life would have changed if you had been there when Steve tried to save him the first time. If you had been able to bring back the past Hyrda erased when they created the Winter Soldier. Your angry snap at him breaks him from his thoughts. 

“Hell no. And stop it. I want you to come back with me because I think once you get your damn head on straight you would be a great addition to our team. You would be able to help us care for some of these guys with a level of empathy that you are uniquely equipped to give.” You purposely squish down the tiny part of you that’s screaming you also want him to come back so you can keep getting lost in those pale blue eyes and help mend his aching heart. 

Bucky shifts, uneasy at your proposition, and forgets they had taken off his metal arm. Where he expects to brace himself, he finds just air and he topples over, scrambling with his right hand to keep himself from falling off the bed. The hole in his right leg pulls and he swears. You’re a mess, he screams internally at himself.

You jump up as soon as you see him tip and grab his shoulder, trying to steady him. He jolts at the contact, staring into your eyes with a mix of fear and surprise that takes your breath away. Bucky shifts himself up, trying to get comfortable and your hand lingers along the wide plane of his shoulder. You rub it soothingly above where the metal starts and he shudders. No one had dared to touch him in years except Steve, and even he never went anywhere near the mutilated part of Bucky’s body. Your soft fingers rubbing at the sore muscles make him want to beg you to keep going. His eyes shut, rolling back in his head for a moment. 

“Okay.” He finally murmurs, startling even himself at the decision. 

Tag List Lovelies: @my-current-fandom-is @blacklightguidesnic @amazonianbeauty

#bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fandom #marvel fangirl #marvel avengers #post endgame #post avengers endgame #series #part seven #what he wants

[mimir-writes]

Skill, Luck, And A Hunter

Hunting is the ability to provide for oneself. Whether that be entertainment or food depends on the individual and circumstances of the hunt. In the case of some that might be the splitting difference between furthering an ideology or simple revenge. The hunter requires immense patience in order to bring down their quarry. It is not a proper hunt unless there are skill and dedication from the Hunter to pursue, find, and ultimately kill the intended target. Tactics deployed by the hunter can range from traps, firearms, conventional weaponry, chemical warfare, and so many more. In the case of one hunter, psychological warfare mixed with long-range firearms and a bit of luck provide worthwhile results. 

The Hunter tracked his game to the jungles of South America, where ancient and current borderlines are still skewed. Old titans slept far below the dirt on beds of stone and tar. Forgotten gods were once worshipped before the advent of the farm where the Hunter views his quarry. Now stands an abandoned mill where the jungle has taken over again. Drug cartels used it has neutral grounds to negotiate and meet over mutual threats. Betrayal brought them all there on the night the Hunter stalks. Someone didn't hold their end of an agreement. People died and people were angry and people knew exactly who was responsible. It is a white leather suit. He knew his place in life and knew it well. He was no saint, but not the devil. The devil was the devil, and The Man in White Leather could only be on earth. Lucifer has higher standards than that and God would just advert his eyes. This is the quarry the Hunter is after.

The Hunter uses a custom-built sniper rifle that uses a unique loading system and other modifications that make completely unrecognizable to anyone but the Hunter himself. This custom firearm boasts a variety of modifications to balance its weight, scopes mounted on top and on either side of the weapon, a MASSIVE muzzle brake to prevent recoil in... unfortunate scenarios. The scopes allow firing from every aspect of cover. The weapon does not allow for rigorous movement and requires the shooter to stay planted in their nest. By far the most unique modification the Hunter has made to his weapon of choice is its ammunition loading system. The Hunter likes to use psychological warfare against his prey and does not like to limit himself to one type of ammunition. Hollow-point rounds, blanks, anti-armor, whistling bullets, and many more are routinely loaded into two magazines slanted downwards forming a bipod that both feed into the chamber of the weapon from either side with a complex series of levers to dictate what order the bullets will load into the chamber. By default, only one specified kind of bullets will load into the chamber which can be fired semi-automatically. The complex series of levers only allows for 10 bullets to be “Pre-loaded” before hollow points default again. It is possible to switch which bullets are default but that requires both magazines to be reloaded. Any order of any type of bullet can be pre-loaded within the series of levers. If used correctly, this for rapid and effective firing. For this prospect, The Hunter has brought hollow-point and blank rounds and has chosen the night of a new moon to claim his prize.

The night of the hunt was in early spring for the South American continent and flowers were in full bloom already. The jungle was blessed with constant rains that had dissipated the week prior which left behind a lust forest. The Hunter hid at the base of an unkempt tree covered in the overgrowth. He took sight using many of his scopes and counted 34 men in and around the mill. Many were asleep as it was deep in the night and only left 8 sentries to patrol the surrounding area, it was a day for celebration, after all. The Hunter took aim at the furthest guardsmen from him, fired and left a sizeable red spot on the back of his ribcage. The body fell on the slope of a hill facedown and out of sight from the other sentries, at least for a while. Before The Hunter began timing his shots to the tune of machinery still running in the derelict mill. It was old, loud, and a few engines which ran old saws and lifts would backfire. Providing the perfect noise to cover up the sound of the gunshots.

Before too long 22 men lay dead before anyone took notice. Even then it was because the machinery in the mill had run out of gas and the noise of The Hunter’s precise shots were heard. The Hunter’s first unmasked shot pierced through a window and into a sleeping guard, there were no more patrolling sentries to pick off and this was the last in the makeshift sleeping quarters. This perked the attention of The Man in White Leather immediately, he had a reverence for firearms and all their unique, unmistakable noises. He quickly raised the attention of the few remaining guards and without taking a headcount knew someone had been busy for a very long time. Only 12 men, including The Man in White Leather, stood against an unseen and almost unheard assailant. Through trial and error and a two “sacrifices” from their comrades, the 10 men knew what direction The Hunter was posted and took cover away from that direction. 

Being a man of weaponry, The Man in White Leather knew it took a small number of seconds to line up a shot from any great distance, so what he did was have his loyal cannon fodder stand up periodically and bait The Hunter. Two seconds was all it took to distract The Hunter long enough to fire wildly into the forest and hit just about everything between the mill and The Hunter. Nothing came far enough to hit The Hunter. He has always learned that distance was his best friend. About three rounds of this cat and mouse game were all The Hunter needed to change tactics and keep his sights focused on one man per cycle. 2 more laid dead before The Man in White Leather had the bait stay behind cover or move if the option was available. It was anything to throw off The Hunter’s accuracy. This is when The Hunter began loading blanks with the occasional real bullet. Between volleys, The Hunter would fire nowhere in particular so that the remaining few believed he was aiming elsewhere. Only 4 remained when The Man in White Leather told them to stay down. He chalked all his dead men to sheer luck but know this was something different, and he was panicking. The Hunter caught on and instead looked into the thermal scope he had brought with him and took aim. Luckily for him, the mill was made of old and rotting wood and the quarries before him had worked up a sweat that attracted swarms of mosquitos to them. Swarms of mosquitos that lit up like a Christmas tree in the thermal scope of The Hunter. 

Only The Man in White Leather was fortunate to be the last quarry remaining. He stood up with his arms held out as far as they could reach and heard 3 quick shots, and was unharmed. He was bolstered by the belief that the god he abandoned so many years ago was with him now. The Hunter sent one final bullet into his throat. The Hunter made it just in time to watch The Man in White Leather succumb to his fatal wound before collecting the quarry of hundreds of dollars in unmarked bills The Man in White Leather killed for. The Hunter always hated boastful men and wanted to make The Man in White Leather painfully aware of his mistake.

#writing #short story

[truthbeetoldmedia]

iZombie 5x10 "Night in the Zombie City" Review

With just three episodes of iZombie left, we are inching closer and closer to the truth about the cure, and characters are going to more drastic measures as time ticks on. 

For this week’s murder, a young sex worker and private eye detective are killed back to back. Liv eats the detective’s brain, bathing the episode in noir. Sad saxophones, light bars across the eyes, and long trench coats. A thunderstorm plays in the background for the whole episode, making every scene feel like a dark and stormy night. The power goes out in the station, giving it a 50’s black and white movie vibe. Bunny, the sex worker, was one of Candy’s girls, so the investigation naturally winds up at Don E Be Good’s. All signs point to the waitress, Jane, who ends up returning to the scene of the crime. Blaine confronts her near the bar, and right before Jane is about to shoot him, Crybaby comes in and knocks her out cold. Blaine eats her brain in hopes of finding out more, and he has a vision. The private eye detective had managed to secure a cure for Bunny, and Jane caught wind of it. Trying to steal the cure for herself, she killed both of them. Of course, getting another cure would be in Blaine’s best interest, and so he eats Jane’s brain in hopes to figure out where she stashed the cure. 

Blaine and Liv cross paths at the private eye’s office while working on the case, but tensions finally boil over between the two when they are looking for the cure in the kitchen of Don E Be Good’s. Peyton gets Liv to come out drinking, and Peyton drowns her sorrows and delivers wobbly karaoke. The fun comes to an abrupt end when someone tells Peyton that she was a bad mayor. She tells him exactly what she thinks about that by sockin him right in the mouth. A huge bar fight breaks out. “Seriously? On karaoke night?” Don E moans. If only he knew the knockout, drag-out Liv and Blaine were having in the back. This is certainly not the first time that these two have come to fisticuffs, but this time it gets ugly. Crybaby intervenes again, with more intentions to kill. Right before he brings the bat down on Liv’s head, Clive comes to the rescue. Blaine throws Crybaby under the bus for Jane’s murder, which is what Blaine does, and Crybaby truly should not be shocked about it.

 Peyton is also arrested. Poor girl is clearly having a hard time dealing with not being mayor anymore. Now that she’s off the hook for all of Seattle’s problems, what else does she have to do? “Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a paleontologist?” she tells Liv. “Seems hard to get fired from that job.” I hope in the next three episodes, Peyton can get her groove back, rather than taking up an extended stay in Margaritaville and getting arrested for bar fights. 

Another character who has been under a lot of stress lately, as well as a new relationship, is Don E. In a bought of frustration, he calls the murders a “hassle” for business, which rubs Darcy the wrong way. Confused about what he said, Liv soothes him while sipping on hard liquor. “Dames got you dizzy, Don E. It’s what dames do.” He has a sweet moment with Candy, where she encourages him to get Darcy back, and it seems a little bit like a final goodbye. Candy has been an unsung hero of this series. She has never had a full plot on her own, unfortunately always at the mercy of the unethical men in her life. We aren’t often in tune with her thoughts and feelings, but she has been with us since the beginning. So when we see her steal the cure for herself and get on the back of a sexy motorcycle, I cheered out loud. Cue the Lucille Bluth “Good for her!” gif! Although it sets our heroes back, yet again ending an episode cure-less, I can’t help but feel like out of all the people to get one of the rare original cures, Candy deserves it the most. Be free, Candy! 

Darcy agrees to speak to Don E, and she tells him that she was angry at his reaction to Bunny because his chief concern was finding a replacement for her. Darcy doesn’t have much time left, so she was worried that would be Don E’s reaction to her death as well. Don E has matured the most out of any character on this show, and so when he tells Darcy that he’s hardened by all the death in his life, but still loves her, it feels like a hard won, vulnerable moment from him. He asks Darcy to marry him, which was the perfect mix of corny and sweet. At first I was sure that we would see Darcy die by the end of the season, but I’m beginning to wonder if the show has a future for these two after all. If there’s any zombies standing after Liv and Martin’s showdown, that is. 

Ravi wastes no time telling Liv the truth about her father, that he also, in fact, is Father of all Zombie-kind. In turn, she wastes no time confronting him about it. Not only is she angry that he withheld something so major, it also means he holds the key to the cure. He created the recipe for utopium that could be the solution to all their problems. He quickly tells her that he was high all the time in those days, so there’s no way he remembers the recipe. The audience knows this isn’t true, and it’s only a matter of time before Liv and the group find out. But not before Ravi lapses judgement a little and tells Martin he was testing rats with Max Rager, the energy drink that gives extreme psychological effects. When it’s paired with utopium, it turns people into zombies. Ravi explains that it stimulants the frontal cortex. Martin seems incredibly interested at this piece of information, and we found out later that Max Rager is the last piece of the puzzle that he needs to control his army. 

At Fillmore Graves, Major is begging for a distraction from the negotiations with the government. His second gives him a note that the keycard system needs to be replaced. While she mentions that it’s “just boring stuff,” it turns disturbing fast. Major catches a janitor with a huge carton of Max Rager with two keycards. When Major tells him that he wants to ask him some questions, the janitor runs into a shower hook, impaling his brain rather than talk. When Ravi hears what the janitor was trying to steal, he brings up to Liv the conversation he had with Martin. Liv proposes sneaking into Martin’s house while he’s in an AA meeting, and boy do they hit the motherlode. Not only do they find the exact recipe from the night of the yacht party that created the first zombie outbreak, but they find the army too. Ravi pulls aside the curtain, hoping for an escape route, and finds a pack of Romeros staring back at him behind a cage. 

Meanwhile, two of the weakest plots of the show finally meet each other and seem to resolve. As a little recap, Hi Zombie is the webseries that Peyton got fired for funding. The premise is two families move in next door to each other — one human, one zombie — and they root out all the stereotypes they have against each other. Every clip or scene we’ve seen of this show has been didactic and a little forced, but surely it was a plot device to build some kind of crucial bridge. The threat of nuclear warfare has been looming over New Seattle for quite some time now, and I mean a long time now. I understand this is a big decision, but it’s been stretched to the point of taking the wind out of the story’s sails a bit. I never actually believed that New Seattle would get nuked, and now we know it’s probably not going to. Why? All because of Hi Zombie! The chairman walks in on her grandson watching the show, and leans over to watch it with him for a while. Over the course of the evening, she has a change of heart about the zombie community. When it comes down to a vote on whether or not to nuke the town, she breaks the tie by voting no. “They have the capacity to become monsters” she says, but she can’t base her vote on “for fear for what they might become.” All of this is certainly not good enough for General Mills, who pays a phone call to our favorite local criminal, Dolly. These two make a toxic team up, for sure, but how will they factor in to the grand finale?

Final thoughts:

Ravi does an amazing noir detective monologue that I can only assume is based off Harrison Ford’s Bladerunner voiceover 

Was it just me, or was there extra alcohol in this episode? 

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead” “You’re already dead.” It seems unbelievable to me this joke hasn’t been played yet 

“We’re not talking about your book. By the book. My book.” I’m going to miss Malcolm Goodwin rolling with every brain swing. He’s exasperated by a brain nearly every week, but this one particularly got under his skin. He tells Liv she’s off the case until she eats a brain tube, but that certainly doesn’t stop her. 

“That was just a love tap!” 

I always feel frustrated when this show uses terribly dated language, like “hooker” and “junkie.” It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

“The classic lamp reveal.” Finally, a brain that matches Blaine for his dramatics. 

Don E’s laugh when Peyton starts singing is pure iZombie 

“We’re going to Don E Be Good’s.” “Good’s enough!” Again — so obvious but brilliant. 

Haley’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

iZombie airs Thursdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#iZombie #Night in the Zombie City

[thesffcorner]

The King’s Men

The King’s Men is the third book in the All for the Game written by Nora Sakavic. If you haven’t read the previous two books, then first off, why are you reading this, second, I will SPOIL EVERYTHING that happens in them. Got it? Good. Let’s start. 

I read the Raven King and started writing a review, that I just couldn’t finish. I was so shell-shocked, so absolutely floored by the way that book ends, that I couldn’t put any of the things I felt into words, and by the time I felt I could write something, I had forgotten some of the things that happened in the first half of the book. I had no desire to reread it; I had no desire to read anything really, that’s how deep the reading slump that book threw me in was. I wasn’t sure I would ever finish the series. Well, finish the series I did, and I’m happy to say that this was my favorite book. In most ways I liked it the same as book 2, but the ending really bumped it up a notch higher than The Raven King. We pick up right after the end of book 2; Neil Josten somehow managed to survive the brutality of Edgar Allen, and is back in Palmetto State, at the same time that Andrew is released from the hospital. Things aren’t looking great for the team: now that Andrew is back and off his meds, the team is back to antagonism and their 2 separate groups, something they can’t afford if they have any hopes of making to the Championship. Moreover, now that the Moriyamas know who Neil is, he can no longer hide behind his identity, and his past might finally be catching up to him. I think it’s best to go through the same points I had for the first book, so let’s start with The Plot: This is the longest book, and as such it’s the most involved plot. Not only do we follow the preliminary rounds leading up to the Spring Championship, but we also have to deal with all the revelations from the previous book: what Rico does to his teammates, his constant threats and psychological warfare over the Foxes, Kevin’s guilt for abandoning Jean to Rico’s whims, Kevin’s parentage, Neil knowing about Kevin’s parentage and Rico and Kevin knowing the truth about Neil. There is also the fact that due to Rico’s intervention Neil is now visible to the public, and of course, Andrew being sober after 2 full years of medication. It’s a lot to cover, and for the most part, I think the book handles all of these threads well. Like always with this series, I have a lot of questions that I’m sure will never be answered, so let’s start with the most obvious: the mafia plot. I was surprised to see the plot with Neil’s dad culminating around the book’s midpoint; it’s resolved before any of the Championship stuff is, which was an odd choice. The Championship, as important as it is to Neil, is still just a game; his father on the other hand is a murderer who has spent the last 8 years trying to kill Neil, and has successfully killed his mother. This section of the book was the hardest for me to read; I don’t know what it is about Sakavic wanting for Neil to suffer the most gruesome violence, but the amount of abuse this poor child has gone through is almost insane, considering he’s 19. Maybe because of what happened to him in Edgar Allen I was more prepared for the torture in this, maybe it was because I finally got desensetised to the amount of abuse in these books, but I found this slightly less emotionally taxing to read than the ending of book 2. It’s still incredibly gruesome and if you are at all triggered by this kind of stuff, stay far far away from this book (though really what are you doing reading book 3 in a series). I am not squeamish about violence or torture, but even I needed to take breaks. How Nathan’s men find Neil was something I wasn’t super clear on, but what I especially wasn’t clear on was the aftermath. I genuinely thought Nathan might maim Neil, since I had no idea what could possibly happen to get him out of that situation, and when Stuart appeared, I was shocked. His character is set up, all the way back in book 1, but I had genuinely forgotten about him in the midst of everything else, and he was welcome reveal I had not seen coming. The plot with the FBI was just bizarre to me. I have heard of people who can refuse being put under witness protection before, so that wasn’t off putting; what was, was the Feds agreeing to not only bring the Foxes to Neil, but also allow Andrew to stay with Neil the whole time he is telling them his story! I find that very hard to believe; no agency in their right mind would want an unrelated party knowing so much sensitive information about an ongoing case. In the end, we also never find out what happens to the Butcher’s Kingdom? Did they ever catch Jensen and his brother? Then there are the Moriyamas. I found the scene between Ichorou and Neil kind of funny, in how hard it tried to paint Ichorou as this dangerous, violent man who commands so much respect, while also being described as barely a 20 year old. I did appreciate that Neil was still as sharp and clever as ever, and the way he spins the events of the past two books to not only make Coach Moriyama and Rico as the villains, but also secure a future for himself, Kevin and Jean was amazing. The ending was… interesting. Look, here’s the thing: Rico absolutely was a piece of shit. He was abusive, sadistic, arrogant, unhinged and violent, and he was never shown to have any kind of redeeming qualities or even the possibility of change. But he was also still a victim; Exy was all he had, all he would ever have, and his relentless desire to get noticed by his father was humanizing. He shared that one trait with Neil and seeing him being shown a single act of kindness by Ichorou and then immediately getting shot in the head before Neil was horrifying. The fact that Neil has no morsel of remorse for him too? That was cold. Like father like son. Also does this mean that Edgar Allen won’t be a prison anymore? Evermore is no longer the Moriyama domain? Is Ichorou washing his hands off of exy? Speaking of exy, all of my criticisms still stand. However, I will say that I got used to it enough to where I honestly didn’t care or notice how out of place it was anymore. With everything happening in this book, worrying about the intricacies of how exy tied into this world became irelevant. This didn’t make the games bad or irrelevant though; I enjoyed all of the matches, especially the last 3, where some strategies and positions were changed around. Having Neil play defense against Rico was sweet revenge; I also liked that the final goal was almost a non-presence, because Neil doesn’t even know it’s happening. He’s so tired and so lost in his head that he doesn’t even realize they’d won. Honestly, having people positioned as they were at the end of the book, I almost wanted to find out more of how the world of exy looked. With Jean going to UTC, the Ravens under new management, Renee, Alison, and Dan leaving Palmetto, and Neil as captain, it would have been fun to see how the sport and the game changed. Look at me, praising a fake sport that I hated so much in book 1. Characters: I don’t think anyone reads this series for exy though, let’s be real. No, the real draw are the characters, and the relationships between them. The bulk of the character development came down in book 2; book 2 was where we found out what Andrew’s backstory was, why he and Aaron hate each-other, Nicky’s family situation, Renee’s backstory, the fallout of Seth’s murder, everything to do with Rico, Kevin and Jean, and Wymack. This book builds on all of that; Neil takes front and center role, and I really liked that. He has finally accepted that he is the glue that holds the team together; even when he’s faced with his imminent death, his first priority is protecting Andrew and the rest of the Foxes, even if that means leaving them again, knowing full well his absence would destroy them. Neil constantly thinks of himself as selfish, because he’s been taught that wanting anything other than survival is selfish, but he’s nothing but selfless. Andrew puts it best, he has a martyr complex, and he genuinely wants to do right by everyone, even if that means having little to no regard for his physical safety. He risks abuse and injuries to get people to come together, and honestly, anyone who spends time trying to crack Andrew’s shell is a saint. I didn’t much care for the Foxes when I met them, but in this book, I had fallen in love with all of them. Dan was always great, though she takes a back seat here, mostly so we can have more time to get to know the rest of the cast. Renee was always the character I struggled with the most, but I liked her a lot here. I liked that she knew exactly when to push and when to leave things be, both with Andrew and Neil. I honestly wish we could have been in her perspective when she got Jean out of Evermore, that was such a badass scene. I liked Alison least in book 1, but I loved her here. She was an amazing character; I loved that she and Neil finally got a chance to talk and come to terms with Neil being responsible for Seth’s death, that she was allowed to be angry with Neil for the entirety for book 2. She is unapologetic about everything, from how hot, rich and done up she is, to how devoted and aggressive at exy she is too. I also loved that she was the one who got the trophy shelf. Matt was always my favorite character, and he was just a gem here. I always loved him the most out of the boys, and nothing has changed; he is as funny and kind, as ever, and he was always there for Neil, even when Neil wouldn’t admit he needed help. Also his reaction to the Maserati was priceless. Nicky was the one character who I was never sold on. He is the emotional core of the group in the sense that he gives Neil the push he needs to finally recontextualize his life and his priorities. He’s a man who just wants very badly to be liked and loved, and he’s constantly put in situations where he isn’t able to do that. Nicky was more prominent in book 2, though, so this book didn’t develop him any further. Kevin too was someone who got the bulk of his character development in book 2, but seeing him finally step into his own, stand up to Rico, take control over his life and get the 2 tattoo of his face was amazing. I loved that he got there gradually, but he still got there, and though he never became any more likable, it was so gratifying to see his growth. Aaron was the character I never liked, and I absolutely didn’t like him here either. That fight he has with Neil pissed me off so much, and I loved that Andrew picked Neil over Aaron, which at least showed me that he was a little more observant than he looked. Finally Andrew. Almost more than Neil, this series revolves around Andrew. Everything Neil does is to protect Andrew, which was a complete 180 from book 1, where Neil was willing to risk Andrew’s life just for a chance to play exy. Like Kevin, Andrew never becomes more likable, and his development is rather subtle and slight, but it’s still such a different place from where he started in book 1. He never truly becomes a good person, but he learns to accept people for the decisions that they make, and to let at least one other person in. His relationship with Neil was so well developed, that authors should learn how to write a good slowburn from it. The slow build of first begrudging trust, then friendship and finally romance was excellent, and for one I really didn’t mind the whole ‘I don’t care about gender, because I’m only attracted to you’ trope. I loved the revelation of Andrew’s photographic memory, because it tied so well with both his character and the scene where Neil asks him how Andrew can let anyone touch or kiss him after everything he’s been through. That he trusts Neil because he knows Neil would never do anything Andrew would say no to was really great. I also fucking called the whole he’s taking drugs for being a psychopath; it feels so good to be vindicated. Overall, I really enjoyed this final book. The series as a whole does have a lot of flaws, and it’s definitely an acquired taste, but I’m glad I read it. Each book kept getting better, and I feel like Sakavic really hit her stride with the second and this book in terms of her characters and plot. It’s a classic YA series for a reason, and I do recommend it if you can stomach the abuse/violence; I’d be curious to read anything else this author has in store.

#the king's men #all for the game #the king's men review #moni talks #book review

[aawintersland]

IV. Mirror in the Aether

The great shutter hacks and crackles, lurching somewhat before it finally begins to retract. Mere seconds that feel like great elongated passages of time to an impatient man. Virtues are scarce when you have nothing but time in empty space. And who says what virtue is? Choice or an inherent trait or maybe even a pure state?

The first quarter block of lectures feel like they exist out of such ordering systems as time or space. To me, they are a pure state of experience or being. The recent focus of the lectures has been Empire and Egyptology, continuing with the running theme of warfare, combat, conflict, and violence, with various sojourns into related themes - mostly of a martial nature. Each quarter of lectures is followed by the requisite reflection period during which a guiding voice issues commands in a masked form. Gentle but firm suggestion. Commands are abstract or oblique and sometimes sound like they're being randomly generated without reason or purpose. 

I think it's a technique, a method of stimulating effective reflection through jarring non sequitur that serves to encourage and even require or demand disciplined focus and active thought. Whatever the means, the point of it is obviously to stimulate thought. Violence, morality, conflict resolution. Individual choice sparring with ordered behaviour. The absurdity of conquest and the great moral questions of snuffing out life and whether it makes a difference if the great moment is in hot or cold blood. Whether it has been commanded or it is choice. Whether the command came from another party or from ourselves through our own consciousness. Whether or not choice itself is a theory.

In the beginning, when there was just space and time, I would resist the lecture blocks. Despondency was a mask for my indignant anger, but the guiding voice is informed and a lack of engagement results in fruitless reflection. Idle thought, or maybe it's not thinking at all, must be some sort of trigger to the confinement vessel. Either it can read thought or hear my interior voice or something. Perhaps it assesses the quality of thought. However it's achieved, I discovered pretty quickly that I had to find a means of immersing myself. And so it soon turned out that the physical regimen wasn't just to assist in rousing me from rotten slumber, it's the key to a receptive state.

I wonder if the voice can sense the reluctant comfort I draw from the screen beneath the shutter. Whenever I contemplate the shutter in its closed and dormant state I think that it's because I'd rather be in a lecture, because while they're not visually engaging, they take me away to somewhere and that's something. It's odd to be hurtling through nothing and nowhere in a tiny space that never changes. In a tiny space within endless space. It's almost poetry. 

The outside is a churning maelstrom of light and fire and matter. A constantly shifting amorphous mass of activity and energy that's so vast and infinite and without order it's meaningless. With no-one to conquer it, it may as well not exist. It's just me out here in the pure nothing, but while I'm in it, I'm trapped outside of it. I may as well not exist either, and perhaps in a sense I don't. More poetry.

The first lecture of the first quarter covers colonies. From Congos and frozen wastes to The Great Series and systems of planets and stars and more to come. Claiming and renaming and reshaping physical and psychological space. The colonist is a great maker of order and my own reflections incubate as I absorb the ritual of factual display. Information relayed in the form of almost but not quite a vast and perhaps endless list. Statistics and comparisons and analytics - but without application. Conjecture and construction mined from ancient sources, consistent only in their unreliability. 

The lectures don't pose questions or set an agenda. They don't guide learning. They seem to be designed merely to inform, if they can be said to have been designed at all. The information conflicts, and there is little sense of rigour to the comprehensive lists of meaningless names and figures. Increasingly, I wonder if there is any awareness of the fallibility of information, and at times I wonder where I can place my trust. But I need to stay locked in to my senses. Process. Absorb. Obey.

Colonists are the great conquerors who conquer both time and space. By means of claim and name they give life by bestowing the very concepts of place and ownership. They give a name to number and a sequence to name. They bring existence from nothingness and they grant existence to nothingness. The lecture shows a consistent pattern of outcome. When entire worlds are conquered and the colonist begins to turn back from the outward gaze they find that their creation atrophies and their subjects grow restless. Hungry to die for the chance to make themselves anew and then to make a first great mark upon some fresh slate.

I feel my concentration slipping. In the wash of words I feel increasingly connected to the burden I hold inside. I deny it, I resist it, I suppress it, but my secondary mind can feel the presence of despair. Biding your time and looking inward  and mostly because the idea of looking outward is just too horrifying to imagine. I'm not worried about getting out or being free anymore. I worry about the point of it. If there is nothing can something be made in its place? 

On this vessel and in this box I am the sole colonist. It's now the first period of reflection and as the voice encourages me to reconcile my experiences with what I have absorbed I am concluding that I view existence itself as the colonisation of space and time. It is not merely the making of nothing into something but it is in fact a fluctuation of energies that never truly dissipates. The chain of being is never broken. The body-grown sperm cell is decapitated by the maw of the body-grown egg and thus so grows a wretched violent man who served his time more than twice while his gaze burned outward. Now as he looks inward he sees his many made subjects and they yearn for death. Isolated samples willing to be snatched from dream and cast out into perpetual waking. Light in the dark that won't be seen, so it may as well not exist. I can't look outward, but the more I look in, the more I hear the yearning.

I wonder if the voice is recording or processing or analysing my reflections. Whatever it's doing, it won't abide idle thought. If it does assess my reflections it keeps the score to itself. The punitive element of the confinement vessel seems to be that time can't be wasted. I've got nothing but time inside, nothing but space outside, and I need to make my claims by means of thought. I'm here to make time into something and then do the same for space. Or so I believe right now but as much as I absorb and reflect and pose great new unanswerable questions, I still find myself fighting despair and running from dreams.

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