#this one just hit me really hard as dnp
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No but actually on the topic about the fuchsia phone case joke. I sometimes find it so hard to reconcile the images and videos of them then, with a)the two idiots we know now, but also just the two people we now understand them to have been at the time.
I see dan making a slightly off colour joke about phils phone case looking gay, and then i think the scared closeted 20yr old, trying to desperately figure himself out, and qhen i try to match them up, in some ways it makes so much more sense and in others it feels like my brain is short-circuiting.
I guess I just always wonder what those jokes and comments actually meant to them at the time. When I first started watching them, way back in 2015, I always understood the jokes they made as being in the same context as when my straight peers/friends made them. Misinformed but not malicious. As coming from the perspective of a straight person who didnt really think about what they were saying. But now obviously we have context, and now im a full raging lesbian myself, who similarly made gay jokes/comments when I was still in the closet, and I'm just starting to realise what mustve been going on in their heads. Like, im not saying the fuschia phone case comment was some desperate desire to be free and open or whatever, it was a joke and it wasnt a particularly deep one, but there is an added layer to it. Dnp laughed for more than just the fact that the 'fuchsia phone case looks gay'. They laughed bc they knew who they were, they were making fun of the whole 'having a purple phone case means your gay' concept in the first place, and they were just two closeted 20-somethings, existing in a world that wasnt ready for them yet. And yeah it was just a stupid joke, but thinking about it too much has made me a little emotional so here we are.
Hi!!! I totally understand this. It’s been wild going back and watching their content with the knowledge we have now. Like I, as most people did, presumed they were queer before they came out. But it’s absolutely a different experience thinking that and knowing that. While I was watching ditl it hit me that like. They were a closeted couple while filming that, and that’s not speculation, Dan confirmed that. And it kind of hit me in a way I can’t describe, but honestly part of it did make me sad. Just like, knowing what it must’ve been like for them. And I totally get what you’re saying about the gay joke. Like for them obviously part of it was like “oh haha making a gay joke when we’re gay!” But it’s also like… making a gay joke because you’re closeted and that’s as close as you can get to publicly being yourself. And even then, whatever the exact joke was, they cut out part of it. Which honestly was probably a good call lmao but, yeah. I agree that specific joke wouldn’t have been some like grand moment in their lives or that it’s that deep at the end of the day. But it’s just knowing that things/jokes like that were probably a regular occurrence and for a while that was like what they had yk? Making gay jokes and then cutting them out, because they didn’t want them to be misconstrued but maybe bc they hit a little too close to home
And now look at them. Joking about eating jizz on the gaming channel for all the world to see
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Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.
And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."
I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.
Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."
Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.
This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.
this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!
i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.
so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!
this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy
#jam replies#anon#very unrelated response to ur ask but like. yours is a complete thought i agree with in meaning if not 100% in your phrasing but i know whe#not to be a pedantic asshole so like! @ me in yall's posts. it will work out better for you than sending me asks like this that i can't#answer
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d&p are each recreating a video from their own channels + one gaming or joint video + you get to pick! which ones are you choosing?
Okay, this was sitting in my inbox for entirely too long, but I have so many DnP thoughts right now that I decided to answer it while the head is abuzzing. You may notice a theme inspired by recent events.
Dan solo video - recreating Basically I'm Gay (except Dangender™️ version)
I don't think I've talked about this before but the gender talk Dan has been talking about lately is so important and intriguing to me. As someone who first figured out my queer sexuality and then my queer gender, I'm so curious to hear him talk about this. And like, he left a door open with the "I feel like a fromless blob" in BIG. Like that came out before I was questioning my gender but it might honestly have been the start of thoughts in the back of my mind. Because that sounded nice. Formless blob. It felt like a very hard hitting vibe. I want another long ass video essay that'll punch me in the gut, make me reflect on society and gender and everything in between.
Phil solo video - recreating Trying To Catch And Rescue An Injured WILD Pigeon (any animal edition)
This video was genuinely so damn delightful and I loved how Phil just went all in on saving a wild animal. Like I felt so much for Steve the pigeon and seeing Phil in action to catch him, call the vet and just figure everything out. Like it was inspiring and heartwarming and with Phil's natural inclination towards animals I don't doubt he could come across another animal that would need help. He's got such a big heart and he could never walk away from anyone that needed help. He can spring into action like no other and his way of storytelling is so damn compelling.
Joint video - recreating DAN AND PHIL MASSIVE PIZZA MUKBANG (Fryday edition?)
Listen, this video is so close to my heart and the way that they invited us in on a sacred Domino tradition and just chatted with us was so freaking great and lovely. It was just them hanging out, only vaguely paying attention to the camera and existing. I would love another video where we're just invited in to observe the chats and see them eat delicious food. Seeing fryday (on a Saturday) could be really cool, though I also understand if they'd want to keep that for themselves. But I just want more of those open and honest vibes, candid little confessions and the pure domesticity of it.
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my problem w it (sorry to belabour the point lol -- im the person who sent that first ask in) is that this game, like so many analogue horror series, saw fnaf's snarky/meta humour and tried to recreate it without really understanding how it worked? they try too hard to be creepy, too hard to portray a 'kid's entertainment with NOTHING BEHIND THE SCENES AT ALL' that they're too obvious w/ it and it doesn't hit the mark. that being said dnp should play more horror
i personally just don't think fnaf is interesting but i can at least see Why people do. like the gimmick is fun, it's got A Concept, it's relatively well balanced at least the first couple of games. like you say a lot of these "ripoffs" (not fully but, kinda) do try too hard to be creepy where fnaf struck much more of a balance. the first ones. i think the later fnaf games have the same issue as these games inspired by it but
i want dnp to play more horror so bad!! i know they say they don't play horror games in their spare time, which is true i'm sure apart from silent hill cause they're massive silent hill fans. my issue is i want them to play silent hill but like theyve played them all and when the new ones come out they'll def want to just play them on their own rather than on the channel, which i get, but pls..... cater to me specifically......
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aaa sorry hopefully you're okay with people responding to your rambles (your most recent one that talks about suicide). just wanted to say i'm very very proud of you for healing and i can relate to your post.
hopefully you are okay with me sharing this story but im a young phannie, im 15, and i found them when i was 11 which was a few months before quarantine hit. extremely long story short, for me 11-13 years old were the scariest years of my life and i don't think anything will ever come close to that again (thank god). that's when i used to rely heavily on dan and phil videos (mostly phil). like i just have so many memories of like i don't know, being on a road trip with my family and being completely out of my mind but i would turn on an amazingphil video or a song that amazingphil mentioned and desperately try to immerse myself into that rather than my thoughts. now that i'm 15 (which is like. unbelievable honestly) i see their content on my feed but i rarely ever engage anymore, and when i do it feels like making my inner child happy. it's weird to think that something i held very close to me and that kept me above water for so long belongs in the past now along with really deep trauma. even if i ever get back into binging phil's videos (i probably will because man he is so nostalgic to watch and i just love him) i'm sure i will never engage with them the way i used to, because i'm simply not the same person. it's sad and also really euphoric and healing at the same time to watch yourself let go. anyways that's my 3am rant lol (i have yet to lose younger me's sleep schedule) thank you for listening and please have a wonderful day/night ❤️
I literally relate so hard to this and it’s really comforting to hear similar stories to mine. I fucking hate when people dismiss mental illness if the person is <14. Ages 12-14 were truly the most terrifying years of my life where I truly believed I would not be able to keep living. I’m very thankful I was surrounded by people who took it seriously so I was able to get help early on. But it’s so important to recognize the little things that also got us through. I know there’s a lot of people who roll their eyes when you say this musician or content creator or actor or whatever saved my life and that’s because people take it too literal. I do credit dan and phil and twenty one pilots with saving my life. Obviously, it wasn’t just that. It was years of therapy and medication and healing, but their content, what they brought into my life, was something I needed to hold on to. It gave me motivation. It was a distraction from pain that wasn’t harmful to myself. I connected with people who I truly felt understood me. And that’s something I needed during that period of my life. Now that I’m older and developed a personality and I’m so far from where I was, I don’t need to be obsessive because I don’t need a constant healthy distraction to get me through life. I can just be a regular fan. And still enjoy that little rush of joy I get when they upload. It’s such a unique experience that, though I am so sad people can relate to, is so important and interesting to discuss. I often joke about being suicidal and really mentally ill at a really young age and I know a lot of others do too. And that’s okay, but it truly is important to congratulate yourself for still sticking around. Even if you are still depressed or unhealthy. And it’s okay to have motivations like being a fan to keep you happy and to keep you going. It’s also okay if you’re getting older and you want to let go a little bit. You don’t have to completely abandon it. I know I’m so fucking far from abandoning dnp and 21p. But it’s okay to not be as obsessive as you were. It’s a sign you’ve grown up. You’ve healed. I appreciate so much what dnp and 21p did for me and I still remain a loyal fan, but it’s okay for me to let go because I can live without needing them. Being suicidal at such a young age is a very specific, tragic experience that you can only understand if you went through it. That’s why it’s hard to discuss topics like this without sounding batshit crazy. But I’m glad some of us are here talking about it.
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1, 8, 21 pleaseeee
1. who do you relate to more?
If we look at how I think and how my brain works, it's Dan for sure. We think very similarly about the world and the universe in terms of how it all works and what it all means, we are chronic overthinkers, perfectionistic procrastinators, and some of the cynicism and sarcasm is also definitely there. That's also why he has the ability to hit me so hard with things he says because chances are I will recognise myself in them.
8. favorite phil haircut?
Oh, I really love this current one! His natural hair color suits him so well and it's just kind of soft but still, idk, cool - listen, I don't have that strong of an opinion on hair styles in general but even I can see that this one just works for him. There's definitely an argument to be made for the early emo fringe though, if purely for how iconic it was.
21. what got you into dnp?
The dapg return and people freaking out about it on tumblr.
I just wanted to see what the fuss was about with these two and then a few weeks later halloween baking came along and sister daniel kind of left me no choice but to stay.
That genuinely is a pretty accurate representation of what happened and well, somehow I'm here now. What really drew me in was their chemistry (yes, dan is right, theirs is unmatched), the chaotic silliness and the queer joy. And also, I love me a good 15+ year old fandom with a bunch of lore to catch up on :)
ask me dan and phil related asks!
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dan “commitment issues” howell
cr
#val comes out of hiding#dnp#dinos and comics#check out their site and insta it’s v cute#this one just hit me really hard as dnp#dan and Phil#daniel howell
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DNP Rewatch: Daniel and Depression
Date video was published: 10/11/2017 (X)
DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 360
One of Dan’s most important videos to me. When this came out, it was one of the first times a “public figure” I followed really talked about mental health.
0:00 - the classic “hello internet” opening. and no computer wallpaper in the background for this one.
0:25 - wanting to keep what he feels he’s currently “going through” private is definitely understandable, and a line both DNP draw with their content pretty often
0:29 - he had that cat shirt for so long!
0:46 - he’s being a bit sarcastic there, but I do think Dan really does want to help he audience
0:47 - those were some Phil-style full-hand airquotes
0:58 - I’ve always found this simplified differentiation very helpful
1:05 - I enjoy all of his cut-away scenes in this one
1:08 - that looked dangerously close to Dan’s hair as it dropped, lol
1:18 - dramatic Dan is the funniest Dan. also, i love that they have candles and party hats, but that seems to just be a bread roll 😂
1:50 - he’s good about clarifying in this that he is only talking about his experience
1:53 - lots of clips shot in both the filming and the living flats for this video
1:58 - these shots are pretty intense
2:05 - “it’s that I don’t feel anything at all” is so clear in what he’s describing and also hard to hear from anyone
2:14 - I really think some of this must have been hard for Phil to film when it had been his real lived experience...though I love that Dan included the bloopers of some of these clips at the end that shows they were having fun with it
2:29 - the detail of the angles on these shots...Dan put a lot of thought/planning into it, clearly
2:47 - Dan is very consistent with how important food is to him
2:59 - well that must have involved a lot of popcorn clean up afterwards
3:17 - very amused by the “sun” and “eclipsed” editing joke there
3:25 - oof, the leaving-without-a-phone one always hits me hard. if my partner did that, I would be so worried until they came back
3:32 - “if I’m chewing something, I’m not thinking” bit of a precursor to Trying To Live My Truth there
3:41 - and the “filling the hole with pizza” thing, which he referenced again even after II in an insta story
4:19 - the “lolbye” annotation and him still having the brain from A Tour of Dan’s Brain all the way back in 2014...he must have been proud of that video to keep it for so long
4:33 - he is sharing a lot in this video, several points of which he ended up talking much more about in YWGTTN
4:40 - and these bits that he specifies in BIG
5:00 - “I think I can deal with” oh young Dan
5:31 - why it was important to him to have a professional review the YWGTTN content too
5:53 - been a while since we had a Dan shower clip, though it was surprising common at one point, lol
5:54 - lol at incorporating the drinking-out-of-a-vase thing here too
6:04 - I would love to see like a “shot list” of how Dan planned all the cut-away shots for his videos
6:22 - even the detail of using Phil’s phone for these shots when he’s playing a different “character”...so much planning
6:23 - also the “fam-a-lam” kills me
6:38 - in hindsight, you can really see that Dan deciding to take care of his mental health in ~2014 had on his/DNP’s content compared to the couple years before that
7:08 - amazing facial expression acting for that response
7:14 - would have loved to have had that video from Dan
7:47 - Dan would still have a bunch of empty boxes even though he’s not using them anymore...it’s like that old Get Ready With Dan video from him with all the empty deodorant bottles
7:52 - the scroller at the bottom parodying american medical commercials... “erectydingdongs” um
7:54 - “didn’t get any of those” had to specify that I guess 😳
7:58 - something I’m sure he saw a lot of comments about at the time, unfortunately
9:04 - this is when they both were having a personal trainer to help them exercise to prepare for tour as well
9:07 - “phil’s exercise sneak-cam” 😂
9:39 - this shot literally takes my breath away still
9:45 - this is the only time I think we every see that the “Guild Wars 2 shrine” from the first London apartment has been shoved into a cabinet here at the new one. and the secret box! (also, picture frames they’ve laid down, maybe? I’ve never noticed that before)
10:01 - wonder if he chose this clip specifically
10:14 - including that “hot contents” photo at the top, lol
10:19 - a lot of classic Dan editing jokes here
10:30 - “I don’t want to be defined by it” and
10:41 - “I am everything I am in spite of this thing constantly holding my back.” have I mentioned I love Dan?
10:53 - this is maybe the clearest way Dan has ever explained his sense of humor
11:11 - this is important
11:27 - the “being open about your vulnerabilities” particularly resonates for me
11:46 - and the “...learn how to be there for people who do”
12:23 - he was so happy about the response he did get to this video
12:45 - including some bloopers for some lightness at the end
I love this video a lot. He definitely took it a lot more seriously than most of his other content, while still incorporating classic Dan humor.
Dan posted this the day after World Mental Health Day, but he did a live show the day of (it’s the one Phil painted Dan’s nails for, and features Phil in the cheese costume) and both Dan and Phil supported Young Minds “Hello Yellow” campaign.
#dan and phil#dnp#dnpRewatch#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#dan howell#daniel howell videos#Daniel and Depression
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OUCH your last post’s tags hit the nail on the head of exactly what ive been feeling lately. i have so many mixed emotions looking back at dan and phil in their peak era, like they made me so happy and made it a lot easier to deal with all the things in my life, but i hate thinking of how overworked they were and how they never felt like they could take time off. and im happy they’ve made it a point to take breaks more! but i miss them greatly, i miss what the phandom used to be like. and honestly? specifically i just miss joint content, i love phil’s videos but seeing the side of dan and phil that only they bring out in each other really does hit different, i just miss it :(
That's the thing! It's hard to hear how exhausted and stressed they were while we were just thriving with content and community. This era really is the best for everyone and I'm certainly not complaining, but yeah...it can sting a little still to remember the old days. And biiiig agree on joint content. I something worry dnp don't fully understand why we love joint content so much and that's it's probably not for the reasons they assume. They just bounce of each other so well and you're so right that there are sides of them we only see with the other one. Phil lets his guard down a bit and relaxes, Dan drops the wall a bit. It's just good times. They're a good time. But I'm sure there will be plenty of joint content this year
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safety symptoms
summary: dnp get their vaccines and someone isn’t taking it very well.
also known as i got my vaccine irl and the only way i know how to handle it is to bring dnp into the situation and turn them into me.
genre: fluffy illness pls
warnings: vaccine/needle mentions, side effects of many varieties (pls help irl), swearing
Accepting the vaccine itself was a piece of cake. Dan and Phil both eagerly booked their places, the prospect of licking a stranger not a foreign thought to either of them. They went to the place, pinkie fingers linked between them in the back of the taxi, two masks pulled over each of their mouths (because they were for sure not taking those risks).
Having the vaccine was also a piece of cake. Dan and Phil split ways to go to their separate cubicles, giving each other a reassuring hand touch before going.
Phil was a bit better with needles, though he wouldn’t particularly choose to have one. He sat down, greeting the nurse with a kind smile and a bit of an icebreaker joke about sticking it in his eyeball (she didn’t laugh). Phil was so busy talking to her, he didn’t notice the needle even go into his arm, that’s how painless it was. Not even a prick.
“There you go, darling,” the nurse smiled, placing a little plaster over it. “Drink fluids and you’ll be just fine. Take a seat in the waiting room to make sure you’re okay to leave.”
“Thankyou!” Phil grinned, pulling his jacket on and wandering out into the waiting room where Dan was already sat, phone in hand as he took a picture of his little card to put on, presumably, his instagram story.
“Hey you, how are you feeling?” Phil asked, sitting beside him, rubbing a discrete hand over his back.
“Fine, I accidentally tensed my arm when she put the needle in, but it wasn’t too bad.”
“I’m proud of you, just one more to go...”
Later that night, Phil’s arm started to tingle accompanied by a mind splitting headache.
“Fuck,” Phil muttered, standing up off the couch to find his way to where Dan was working away in the office.
“Hey, bub..” Dan said, concern already etched on his face. Phil didn’t deserve him.
“Dan, I don’t feel well,” Phil pouted, leaning into Dan’s cool touch on his forehead.
“At least we know your immune systems working,” Dan said sadly, linking his fingers with Phil’s. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Phil climbed into bed, accepting the water and paracetamol being passed to him. He then fell asleep to Dan’s fingers threading through his hair.
Phil’s sleep was fitful, whimpering constantly and absolutely scorching dan every time his arm brushed over his bare stomach. Dan sat awake, trying to make sure Phil didn’t accidentally hurt himself, his brow creased in worry. Dan could not stand seeing Phil poorly. Dan decided to read up a bit more about the vaccine side effects on the little sheet they’d been given, thankful to see the things Phil were feeling were common as opposed to drop everything and run to A&E.
As slowly as he could, Dan removed the covers off Phil’s boiling body, next attempting to take off the jumper and two t-shirts he had on, too. That was less successful, with Phil waking up in a full blown shiver, his eyes wide and frightful.
“What are you doing?” he demanded, scowling as he bounded himself back up in clothes and blankets. “It’s fucking freezing.”
“Phil, you have a temperature, love,” Dan replied calmly, wracking his brain for ways he could cool him down. “Your body is too hot.”
“Nuh uh,” Phil refused, pushing his socked foot against Dan’s leg. “You’re warm.”
“I’ll let you keep the blankets now, but in the morning we’re sitting out on the balcony, I don’t care if it’s freezing and/or raining,” Dan warned, settling back down, allowing Phil to crowd into his arms, nose tucked under Dan’s chin.
“Whatever you say.”
Luckily, it wasn’t raining outside as Dan insisted on pushing Phil out onto the balcony under the strict rule that he needed to cool down. Phil felt like literal death. The pain in his arm had made it hard for him to even move to get up, his head hurt so bad he swears he could see double, his stomach hurt, and he felt like he could sleep for 50 days without waking up. Dan, the little shit, only had a sore arm, that he managed to get rid of with one dose of painkiller.
“Just think of how much worse it would be if you got actual corona, if this is how you’re reacting to the vaccine,” Dan whispered (he’d taken the courtesy to whisper as Phil flinched at the low sound of the microwave beeping.)
Dan and Phil were sat on one of the loungers on the balcony, the same one, mind you, as Phil was set on cuddling the fuck out of Dan at the moment. Dan was at the back of the lounge chair, with Phil in between his legs, back to chest. Their hands were joined against Phil’s stomach, Dan pretending to not be alarmed at the sheer heat radiating from it.
“I know,” Phil grumbled, pushing further back against Dan. “It’ll pass, but I wish it would pass faster.”
They sat in silence for a long time, Phil snoozing and Dan pressing kisses to his head and resting his cheek gently against it. He felt so bad, bad that he came out with a sore arm whilst Phil was so sick. He looked peaky and disheveled, his hair sticking up in all directions from the way his body had been turning all night long, not that he didn’t still look beautiful (he did). Dan knew he’d feel so much better when they were both fully vaccinated, his greatest fear of losing Phil being a bit less prominent in the face of coronavirus. Seeing the way Phil was reacting, he had never been so thankful they were taking the social distancing so seriously, lest he lost him.
After around an hour, Phil stirred, his groan hitting Dan straight in his heart, it jumping in his chest. The only times he really saw Phil so vulnerable was when he had a migraine, it was usually Dan moping about the place due to a cold or a small cut or bruise.
“Hi, darling,” Dan whispered as Phil sat up, turning to look at him. Phil leaned forward to kiss him, cupping Dan’s jaw with strong hands. Dan was surprised, but pulled Phil impossibly closer with two large hands on his waist.
“I can’t lift my arms high enough to go round your neck,” Phil pouted, whispering it against Dan’s lips.
Dan giggled, hoisting Phil up slightly by raising his legs, “there, you’re a bit closer now so you can do it.”
Phil smiled, kissing Dan again, this time his arms wrapped around his neck, hands clasped together behind his head. Dan felt Phil begin to move around in his lap, his excitement becoming clearer. Dan pulled away, almost lead back in again by the desperate groan Phil let out.
“Not today, darling,” Dan shook his head, giving him one last peck. “You’re not well enough and you have a fever, I don’t want to take advantage of that.”
“You’re too good for me,” Phil voiced aloud this time, wrapping his legs round Dan’s waist and giving him a cuddle. It was a bit of an awkward position considering they were both freakishly tall, but it was comfortable and familiar.
“I think the same thing about you every day.”
Later on, when the paracetamol had set in and Phil’s fever had been reduced enough to not be worrying Dan constantly, they moved back inside, though the heating stayed off and every blanket hidden from Phil’s sight. He was trembling like a leaf on the sofa, out of Dan’s embrace for the grand total of five minutes whilst Dan got him some soup because “have you ever seen a nurse just sit there cuddling the patients?” though it did get the response of “maybe if they looked like you,” with a pout in Dan’s direction.
Phil was grateful after eating the soup though, his tummy full, satisfied, and warmed (though he wouldn’t tell Dan that last one otherwise he’d chuck some ice in the next lot.)
Phil started feeling better over the next few days, his symptoms dwindling down to just a minor headache and pain in his arm, but he knew it was all so so worth it. and he also wasn’t one to say no to boatloads of cuddles and warming (don’t tell Dan) soup. He felt one step closer to normality and five steps closer to his Dan.
End
hello everyone! i had my vaccine three days ago and my arm hurts and my head burns. the day after was kind of like being a lead in the walking dead though (and i did a 9 hour shift and just cried the whole way through) so i’m glad about the dwindling pain. it’ll be so so worth it though, when we can do things again! remember to get your vaccine if you receive your invite and save some lives, woo! also, this hasn’t been proofread as of yet, i just wanted to make myself feel better.
#phan#phandom#phanfiction#dan and phil#danhowell#phillester#fluff#amazingphil#danandphil#phil lester
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idk if you were around for this but i'm relatively new to the phandom (joined like, last march), so i wasn't exactly around for BIG/COTY. i'm taking a poll of some of the dnp blogs out here in this hellscape just for morbid curiosity: what was your reaction when you first watched the videos? what was the phandoms reaction on your end? thank you so much!! 💕💕
hi!! so i’ve been here since right before ii (mostly lurking but still lol) but I think I remember the moment BIG came out better than I’ll probably remember any significant event in my life lmao. I got the notif right as my lunch period was ending and I remember I was legit in the middle of a sentence with one of my friends and when I saw the notif and i just stopped and 404′d. I couldn't watch it for a few more hours because of the classes I was in but I finally watched it later that night and it was an experience, to say the least lol. I was shaking the whole time and I was in tears (I still get close to tears when I watch it even now lol) I remember I would watch it at least once a day for the next month or so because dnp really just meant (and still mean) that much to me. tumblr (and the whole of the internet) in the meantime was just exploding with so much happiness and community and understanding for dan. even months later we were all kinda reeling and processing everything that they shared. COTY was a different experience in that the majority of us weren’t expecting it at all (which i don't think anyone was expecting BIG either lol but you get the point). after dan released his video and talked about Phil in it (and obviously it was more than just romantic - still enough to make me just shut down and its been almost two years lmao) and Phil quote tweeted dan’s video something about how he wanted to come out “very lowkey” we kinda just figured that was it. but on the last day of pride month Philly just smacked us with the best 7 minutes and 45 seconds of my life, COTY. it didn't have as much of a profound message as BIG did, which was fine and makes sense with who phil is and his personality, but it still really hit hard to hear phil’s story and all about that side of him. I feel like too with Phil and his coming out it was more of a large impact over a lot of time, like after COTY was his draw my life 2 and the awkward closeted stories and it finally felt like coming out for him was like the final puzzle piece to Phil as a person and as a content creator and so as we got more stories he just made more sense. tumblr and the internet was obviously still bursting with an overwhelming amount of happiness and acceptance and reliability but when he dropped COTY it just increased back up to full like when BIG came out. Overall, it was one of the weirdest, most unexpected months of my life (and I'm still reeling from it lmao) but I am so so so proud of dan and Phil as well as their community and I wouldn't trade those experiences of dnp coming out or anything it’s led to for anything <3
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Mad I know it’s not technically your birthday for like 6 more hours BUT as an early celebration of you, can you please rant about what dnp’s opinions of your favorite Beatles albums/songs would probably be 🥺 (also hi miss you ly)
whaaaa thank you bb!!! the best gift is the opportunity to ramble about the beatles *and* dnp. MY BRANDING <3 (miss you too; ugh one day things will be different and there will be drinks and nerdery again ;_;)
I know you sent this last night, but it took me A While because it’s something I had to think about quite a bit! (plus i have been working oh no)
(under a cut for ur dashes)
It’s mainly tough to actually narrow down my favourites in the first place because I’m always like. What even are my favourites. I thiiiiiiink I’ve rambled before about what their favourites might be? But as for their opinions of my faves … I’ll cherry pick a few because otherwise we’ll be here all day sdkdsj
lbr, there must be some i love they’d be pretty meh about, but because the beatles’ catalogue, even without the solo stuff, is so varied in style, there’s bound to be something they’d like, even a lil bit. I feel like Phil might gravitate towards the more well-known stuff, as it’s more nostalgic? The stuff everyone knows, even if they’re not and have never been a fan and never deliberately listened to their music, they just know it anyway because it’s in the collectibve psyche? There’s a familiarity to those sorts of tracks I think he’d just enjoy … album-wise, I reckon he’d like the red and blue albums the most (which are essentially ‘greatest hits’), and nothing wrong with that! I started with those myself… but loads of tracks on them are likely to be ones he knows, even vaguely. If we’re talking proper albums, and favourites of mine, I reckon the movie soundtracks might appeal (especially alongside the movies which he might like), particularly Help (side 1 anyway). And the stuff on Blue like Lady Madonna (my fave when I was a kid) or Hello, Goodbye. The upbeat stuff.
*IF* he chose to delve a bit deeper then I think he’d probably like the stuff around the Rubber Soul/Revolver era (which is right after Help anyway). Particularly Rubber Soul, and track wise I think particularly hmm… Norwegian Wood, Nowhere Man, lotsss off Revolver. I could probably pick tracks from every album that he might like, though, which is why I went for red/blue.
Dan’s a bit more of a wildcard as his music taste is all over the place (which I’m sure he would call ‘eclectic’), but he’s also more likely to do a deep dive and listen to some of the more niche stuff (inasmuch as anything by the most famous band in the world can be ‘niche’, but you know). Of my faves, I think he’d particularly dig … one that springs to mind for some reason is the version of ‘tomorrow never knows/within you without you’ from the ‘love’ (remixes) album. It’s just. So good. And I think he’d enjoy it… I think he’d really enjoy the vibe of the lyrics of ‘within you without you’, but that particular mix makes it a bit more … accessible? than the original version (which I developed a big appreciation for a couple of years ago, but some people don’t enjoy the sitar-heavy songs much, which is fair enough), and it has more of a heavy beat. IT’S SO GOOD did I mention that?
I feel like he’s more into lyrics in general, so there might be some that jump out at him for that reason … from among my particular faves, I dunno why i vibe so hard with hey bulldog but i DO, and maybe he would too; I’m not thinking of any particular person (like, definitely not phil, or anyone really), it’s just so much A Mood in general. Also the fact that it’s a brilliant song that then devolves into John and Paul’s Weird Shenanigans at the end feels very … on brand. And of course I feel like he’d have an appreciation for the piano-heavy stuff; Paul McCartney never had any formal piano training either, and also learned to play by ear, by himself, and he’s done ok for himself so you know. (I Would Die if Dan ever played a beatles song on piano uuuuuuuu) Top choice for those for me would be the opening of You Never Give Me Your Money or Martha My Dear but that’s just me ofc
If he were feeling soppy - and he can’t fool me, I know he does sometimes - there are so many to choose from, especially Here Comes The Sun or In My Life or, if I can veer into solo for a moment, Maybe I’m Amazed. (And ooooo also solo, but Watching The Wheels by John, hashtag relatable). And definitely Don’t Let Me Down, and I’m A Loser (the much more self-disparaging cousin of Nowhere Man), and ofc they would vibe a bit too hard with You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away.
This sort of (unavoidably) veered off from which of *my faves* they would like and more into which ones they’d like in general, oooooops. And it was probably mostly nonsensical. But man, I wish I could drink wine and listen to Beatles with them ;_; (Yeah ok, they might be bored after ten minutes but whatever!! ;))
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idk how long it's been since you've last been on, maybe you'll never be on tumblr again, but anyhoo- I came for the Phan n then saw Bang Chan in your likes & I appreciate the similar journey's we've been on ✌️
Hi anon! (I'm so curious as to why you would assume I haven't been on here in a while, I'm here every day and my queue is actively running at the moment asdfggfj).
But yes! DnP and the phandom was my first proper fandom and it might still arguably be the one where I have the most ties, even now. I'd started watcing them in summer of 2014 and then joined tumblr in february 2016 and got my first incredibly lovely introduction to what fandom could be like. I still adore those boys very much but their content and frequency also changed, so I feel like I've ebbed and flowed with that too. I'm so delighted about the regular vidoes we get from both of them on their own channels now, and I'm so looking forward to seeing Dan on tour.
K-pop came into my life summer of 2019 while I was procrastinating writing my thesis and to say that it hit me like a brick might be an understatement. It was "just" BTS for the first about a year and a half, but then I slowly started to branch out, getting familiar with more and more groups, and it's been such a lovely and fun time. For now I like to say my "top 5" is BTS, Astro, Seventeen, SHINee and Stray Kids (here listed in order of "discovery"), though I enjoy another like ten groups as well. But I think I would be amiss not to acknowledge that Skz have hit me particularly hard, espeically Channie. I think I upgraded him to ult (alongside Namjoon) while Minho and Jisung remain firm biases.
I started rambling without really meaning to but you mentioned journeys and I wanted to share a bit more of mine. The pipeline from phandom to k-pop fan is relatively common, I think. I've seen a couple of my mutuals go that way (some even slightly aided by my k-pop posts flooding their dashes). I kind of love that so much.
Anyway, thanks for sending this ask! I hope you have a lovely day.
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Could you give us any tips on how to make gifs? Like where do you even start? Yours are so nice! ☺️
thank you so much anon! i am still very new to it, but i can try! first things first you need photoshop. as far as i’m aware there isn’t a way to make gifs without it, but i am open to other possibilities if anyone knows of any alternatives. i guess here is a basic giffing tutorial under the cut...
1. first off you need a clip, the shorter the better. i usually get mine from screenrecording my phone and then using icloud to get it to my computer but there are lots of youtube video downloaders out there.
for this example i’m using the “you’re an idiot” clip from the final google fued vid
2. next you want to open that clip in photoshop, at this point it should look something like this, with the timeline at the bottom.
3. the first thing you’re going to do to it here is crop it, with most gifs i either just do the full thing and crop out the edges or i cut it down to either d or p if it’s just a ~look~ gif and not a text gif. dnp’s videos are 16:9 usually.
4. then you right click on the layer (usually labeled ‘layer 1′ in the layers panel), and select “convert to smart object” this allows you to add filters and such.
5. i always sharpen the gifs first, it makes them look nicer, and that’s under filter . sharpen > sharpen.
6. now’s the fun part! colouring! i know jack about colouring so i mostly just fool around until i like it. this is all under image > adjustments. usually i adjust the brigtness, vibrance, curves, and use selective colour until it’s what i like. mostly i’d suggest just have fun with it, selective colour especially makes your gifs more unique looking
this is what it looks like after i coloured it, this will of course be different every time and different people like different things.
7. now to add text! (if your gif doesn’t have text you can skip to number NUMBER). to add text, you first need to close the video group by clicking the little down arrow next to ‘video group’ in the layers panel
when you’re making your text box, drag it over the whole image so it lines up, this way you don’t have to worry about trying to center it. i usually make mine a little under half of the video.
replace the lorem ipsum with whatever you want to say, it will be hard to read now but we’ll change that later. usually text is in either yellow or white, i use calibri font in italic which is pretty standard. the size depends on the size of your gif, i find usually around 30pt does the trick. i also always do phil’s speaking in yellow and dan’s in white. idk why. then enter the text down until its closer to the bottom and it should look something like this
8. now you’ll want to adjust the text on the timeline, if you’re making multiple gifs this is where you would seperate them. move the text layer in the timeline so it lines up with the end of your clip
if you’re doing multiple gifs, move the text timeline to where you want it to end, and make another text layer next to it for the next gif (sorry this is hard to explain i hope this makes sense, there would be another purple box next to the first one).
9. now that you have your text lined up where you want it to be on the image and the timeline, right click on the text layer in the layers panel and select blending options
once there, select stroke and adjust your settings accordingly. usually stroke is black, on the outside of the text, and mine is usually 2px to 3px depending on the size of the text. you can see what it looks like below.
10. now if you exit that and hit play, you have a beautiful clip. the problem is tumblr is an asshole that hates beautiful clips. if i try to export this now its 7mb which is too big for tumblr, so i will have to resize it. to do that, select the video group again in the layer panel and go to image > image size
i adjust mine using percent, and depending on how big it is i adjust it accordingly. usually 50-80% does the trick, but it depends on how many seconds it is. this gif is 2 seconds long and 70% worked for me.
11. now you are ready to try saving. to save, go to file > export > save for web
when you do that, it will say how many mb it is in the bottom left corner. tumblr will tell you it can take gifs up to 8mb. tumblr is a liar. under 4mb its safest, under 3mb is better. i think you might be able to go up to 5 but idk. resize accordingly like in step 10.
then hit save and you are good to go! a beautiful gif! you’ll get the hang of it in no time, i only started for my week trial of ps in february and then for real in the past like 2 weeks and its already second nature to me. it gets even easier if you set-up actions and shortcuts once you know what you like to do, really the only thing i actually have to do manually now is colouring and typing the captions.
i hope this helps! sorry if i was bad at explaining. giffing is so much fun especially when a new video comes out like its just really exciting idk lol and the phandom loves gifs and im really happy to be able to make them and share them and hopefully people like them. thank you anon!
#i am also by no means qualified to make a tutorial#so if any like seasoned giffers have better ways please be kind lol#ask#anon
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Top 5 fanfics!!
ohhhh MAN where do i fucking start only five??? murder me
ok so for real my no.1 dnp fic is a match and a fuse by @waveydnp i reread it over the weekend and i’m still finding new stuff that i didn’t find before even when i’ve read it like 10 times
after this it’s not gonna be particular order u guys are just so fucking talented it makes me want to scream
a rose by any other name (would smell as sweet) by @midnightskydan was such a beautiful read and honestly it made me want to sob my heart out bless
does a whole series count as one fic? bc the lover dearest au by @dayevsphil is one of the best fucking things ive ever read
i’ve made it this far on my own (everyone prays in the end) by spaceandvinyls really hit home for me in a way nothing has before and it’s a beautiful beautiful fic
final one is tears dry slowly by martainez which just,,, hits me so hard every time i read it and it always fits the perfect hurt/comfort spot for me
this is definitely not an exhaustive list but when i get to 50 dnp fics on my ao3 i’m going to do a full fic rec and not hold back soooo
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hi there i just read growing pains for the first time (cant believe i hadnt read it before) and im an emotional mess ghjsjdj,, fi's dysphoria and the general back-and-forth of "im this thing but im Not this thing but i Can't be this thing and" just hits so hard for me :(( youre a brilliant writer and thank you so much for this fic 😭
;_; thank you so much for telling me this and reading my fic and just generally being so incredibly kind about my writing all the time! seeing this ask first thing in the morning really made my day <3
growing pains was the first fic i ever posted and I’d signed up for the fest to psych myself into finally posting something, but then quickly realized that writing gender swapped fic was gonna be hard for me. I came up with lots of fun ideas, but when it came to actually writing them I started panicking because I don’t know what it means to be a woman, so how the heck was I going to write a meaningful version of dnp as women?
so I just wound up writing growing pains in one sitting right before the end of the fest and dumping all of my confusion and indecision and I hope ultimate acceptance of those things into Phil/Fi. it was a very cathartic process tbh and it’s always so wonderful to hear people liked it, or especially found something they could relate to in it.
#in which i talk too much about my fic as always lol#growing pains just has a very special place in my heart and it's hard not to give the background#cuz that's really all the fic is#like it's got hints of dnp#but is really just me having some gender feels#one of these days i do just want to write a like cis (or ish) women dnp thing that doesn't have to take gender seriously#cuz that would be fun and i love reading fic like that#but i think with my first attempt it was hard not to take gender seriously for me#but i'm always trying to do too much#i've got several more wips in that universe too maybe some day i'll finish them up and post them#anyway ty again!#blueandothercolors
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