#this might be me reaching but it’s like. ohhhh my god

[binsito]

I loved your idea of hannie with his nail tech crush.. yk what i think though? OBVIOUSLY the nailtech kinda knows abt this little crush of his. She doesnt know how severe it is but she does notice the way he blushes slightly when she compliments his hands, or the way his eyes sparkle when she finally giggles at one of his jokes. Also who am i kidding the nail tech obviously ALSO finds hannie v v cute and v v hot bc,,,, he's hannie??? He's charming and handsome and he keeps his fingernails clean soooo maybe the next time he comes around, and she is feeling a little frustrated bc her own hands aren't enough fun for her.. she'll hint at wanting his fingers inside of her? Maybe she'll be kinda distracted and shy this tine or maybe she's bold and just straight up teases him by saying things that could be considered dirty but also might just be his pervy mind interpreting the wrong thing. Aaa idk i'm not a writer but yourw giving my head THOUGHTS

OHHHH MYGOD. thank god you left this ask bc i was dying to write more for this JASHDJA

warning: fingering, hand worshipping, swearing, slight perv!han jisung, lmk if i missed anything but it's pretty tame

wc: 914

hannie has to act normal.

hannie has to be cool.

hannie has to act like he doesn't go home after every appointment and edges his cock thinking about how nice it would be to have your lips wrapped around his tip.

so when he walks into the salon, straight into your suite and takes a seat at your chair - he makes a mental promise to himself that:

he. will. not. get. hard.

he won't get hard if you hold his hands, it's all part of your job.

he won't get hard if you smooth lotion on him, it's just a courtesy.

he won't get hard if you compliment his nails, they're only pretty because you made them pretty.

"hannie do you even put your fingers to use?"

what?

"you come here so often and yet they're rarely chipped or overgrown. you must not lift a finger." you smile.

oh.

he felt so stupid, of course he read into it in such a dumb, perverted way.

"you must take good care of yourself hm?"

fuck.

why couldn't he be normal? why couldn't he just have nice, clean thoughts? why was he getting hard? why couldn't he just keep his promise?

"your hands are always soft. i wish i had nice fingers like you. they're long and pretty.."

he clears his throat and laughs awkwardly. he was being such a loser.

"oh yeah.. they're definitely long, alright.. hah.." he says

who the fuck says that?

he literally wanted the ground to eat him up.

"yeah, they are. longer than mine." you giggle as you work on his polish.

"yeah.. way longer.."

and why he kept going? only god knows, but he definitely noticed your face flushing (and was he crazy or were you pressing your legs tightly together under the table?)

hannie doesn't think he's ever seen you this quiet, this concentrated on his hands before. after the conversation died out, there was no other topic to bounce off of. and normally han jisung would just start talking about random shit, would tell you your hair looked pretty or that he noticed your subtle eye makeup and that it looked nice.

but not now.

not today.

"hannie have you ever had problems reaching things with your fingers? i-it could just be because mine aren't as long as yours but.. you know they're never quite enough to reach."

"oh uh.. n-no but do you need help reaching something? i could help.."

"could you really? that's so sweet of you, hannie.." your smile could melt him into a puddle. you smile at him so sweetly, just for him and han jisung can't really handle that well.

"so what is it you need help with? something too high up or-"

"well.. i just can't seem to cum. doing your nails frustrates me so much. they look so nice so why can't i have them inside of me?" you pout at him.

the wind feels like it was knocked out of him. he thanks god that you have your own little suite and no one else was around to hear that.

"f-fuck, are you serious? holy shit, why didn't you say something sooner?"

"well because i'm a little shy and because i wanted to finish doing your set first, of course..

you really mean it though? will you actually help me?"

"yes.. fuck, yes i'll help you."

his eagerness was cute. unluckily for him, he still had to wait for you to cure his gel polish. his leg bouncing impatiently as you gave him a look to quit it.

he smiled shyly and let out a nervous chuckle as he tried to contain himself. once you were done, he damn near jumped out of his chair towards you. you put some of your supplies away and walked past him to lock the door. as soon as he felt the coast was clear and no one would walk in, he grabbed you - kissing you deeply and pressing you against his lean body.

it was an intense kiss, full of want and desire but you welcomed it because you had been feeling the same way. you pulled away slightly to grab his wrist, bringing it up towards your mouth so you could take two of his freshly manicured fingers in between your lips.

you made sure to get them nice and wet, saliva connecting them to the tip of your tongue when you pulled them out.

han jisung felt weak.

he found himself pressing you against the nearest wall, your pants long forgotten as he pumped his fingers inside you, finally leaving you fuller than your fingers ever could.

the pads of his fingers massaged your gummy spot and curled against it making your knees buckle. it was all too perfect and better than you could ever imagine. you knew the orgasm he was going to pull from you was going to be intense. you felt it bubbling up already and he hadn't even been touching you for long.

but when he brings his other hand forward to rub at your clit and you look down to catch a peek of his baby blue nails, you lose yourself to him and feel yourself cream around his fingers. clenching your cunt tightly against them, not wanting him to ever pull out.

however when he does pull out, he makes sure to have you watch as he sucks your essence off his fingers. rolling his eyes back at the taste and humming in satisfaction.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

#binsito #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz hard thoughts #skz x reader #💌 : binsito #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #han smut #skz han #han : binsito

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

#kinda hesitant to post this #but i think i put too much work into it not to so #here we go <3 #good omens #good omens au #ritz rambles #long post

[takami-takami]

KEIGO FALLING FOR HIS PHYSICAL THERAPIST.

LIKE AFTER HIS FIGHT WITH DABI AND HE LOSES HIS WINGS. He’s required to go therapy to regain the strength in his back and body due to the trauma that his body has experienced.

So at first he’s kinda unwillingly thrown into physical therapy. He’s miserable. People poking and prodding at his back constantly. People demanding that he moves in ways that make him want to curl on the ground and never get back up.

Eventually, due to his stubbornness they invite a private specialist.

You.

You take the first month or so to get to know him, his usual schedule, what hurts and what doesn’t.

Then you move onto soft touches, just gentle hands trying to guide movements that might stretch but won’t hurt too bad.

And he starts to trust you. Starts letting down his guard a little bit here and there, more willing to express when he’s in pain, and he starts getting stronger.

But then you notice that there are spots of his back that aren’t healing as well.

Spots that maybe he can’t quite reach yet to put on antibacterial cream or burn cream.

So you offer, innocently. Unaware of the way his face warms at the thought of your hands wandering across his back so openly. The way his eyes dilate just the slightest bit as he mulls over it for just a second too long.

He doesn’t flirt this time, embarrassed by the sudden thought.

But he lets you, because god he’s just in so much pain and it’s all so itchy and the thought of the cool cream is urging him to agree.

And you two continue this little routine you’ve created for a while. Talking, stretching, rubbing the cream onto his back. But eventually it starts to become more intimate than intended, you find your self softly massaging the parts of his back where the muscles are the most tense, and he freezes, so unbelievably embarrassed and turned on.

Yet you keep going, and he’s become a puddle in your hands, trying so hard to hold back the moans that threaten to spill from his lips, his eyes are blown wide and you can feel where the wings used to be, the muscles and bones tensing and shifting underneath the skin, quickly as though they were shivering.

(OMIGOD THIS IS SO LONG, IM SO SORRY)

My back is sore and I have been thinking about this ever since, sorry it’s so long though!!

-🐝 anon

I hope you are having a good day!!

BEE ANON THIS HAS ME IN SHAMBLES I NEED YOU TO WRITE THIS

Ohhhh it's so soft and intimate. The way he gradually opens up... He should! :(

One of my literal weak points in fics is when Keigo gets accidentally turned on, ESPECIALLY by wing stuff like the way he gets so confused and he tries to swallow the moans so all that comes out is a little clipped "mm" that's cut short by tightly shut lips cuz he's EMBARASSED and AGH. <3<3<3

#also ohhh i hope your back feels better soon! #💌 asks #🐝 anon

[soulaires]

hi 🥺 can we please have some a little teaser/snippets from the 7 Evil exes fic 🥹🫶

OHHHH SUREEE 🤭 here’s some of my favorite lines from the fic 🫶 I have ALOOOOTTT of lines from it but here’s some few so I won’t spoil some things 😆

Expect the fic to be dropped this week or next 🫡

—

Warner could not help but entertain the thoughts that he might have been a better choice for a first kiss – not that he was particularly yearning for that, though. Kissing you? no way, that would be way too crazy. It was completely out of the question. That was just a wild and outlandish notion, but…

Aaron Warner sure would have been a better first kiss.

But that’s only his own personal opinion. He genuinely has no real interest in it, none whatsoever.

He didn’t really care about you anyway.

—

“Never, love.” his tone laced with a mock seriousness that matched your theatrics. You chuckled in response, pink blush coloring your cheeks.

Huh. Cute.

“I’ll stay here for awhile, it’s suffocating out there.” you said.

Warner’s eyebrow arched slightly, “Won’t your date miss you?” there’s something in his tone that you couldn’t quite understand.

You met his gaze, ”If I cared about that, I would not be here.”

What? Warner raised an eyebrow, curiosity now visible to his face, “Touché.”

—

“You should get back.” he pointed back to the ballroom.

“Right, they must be finding me right now.” you replied.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t.” You smiled at him and winked.

You winked at him. You winked. Good god.

—

“Oh yeah?” Warner said, smirking. His eyes on you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck—

“Yeah—God, I hate you.” you muttered

“Say it again.” he countered and you feel like you are going insane. Oh My god.

“Would you love me to whisper it in your ears?” You teased back.

Warner was speechless. Aaron warner doesn’t get speechless—yet here he is. A comfortable silence settles between you two, The tension between you two crackled like electricity. As your teasing reached its crescendo, a moment of silence suddenly settled over you guys. The heated exchange had given way to an unexpected pause, and your eyes met his. In that unguarded second, the tension shifted from amusement to something else entirely.

“Aaron?” you questioned, noticing his silence.

“You gotta stop doing that.” he mumbled.

“doing what?”

Saying things that makes me want to kiss you.

—

Aaron can’t breathe. It’s like you have stolen every oxygen he has.

You put your hands to his waist, and it was over.

So, he kissed you. He kissed you. Without warning, without permission, without thinking. Without even deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn’t have done anything else. He had to grab back the breath you were holding. It belonged to him, and he wanted it back.

—

As consuming as it is, Aaron Warner’s primal desires carve a divide between you and harsher traits. He becomes a pristine canvas under your touch, molded by your influence, and he has never been this close to God before.

He knows a religion and God has no use to people like him, but God, you are a temple and He is a sinner in need somewhere to worship.

He feels your soul entangle and untangle an endless cataclysmic cycle as both of your tongues engage in a wedding dance, sending him to the highest of highs and sending him drifting

down,

down,

down,

Down into a glorious drop.

He is sent into a stupor by your hands because they are destitute and devouring. His desires, deceitfully sweet, stain his clothing with sin and sweetness Warner welcomes the waves with all the lightning, fire, drowning, and heaven-and-hell he can muster despite the waves getting rougher and calmer with each passing minute.

Warner is at your mercy.

—

#aaron warner x reader #shatter me #shatter me series #aaron warner x you #rie speaks 🗣 #rie answers 🦦 #this makes me blush while writing fr #I WANT HIM SO BAD BRO #my man fr

[dilucsfav]

hello, it’s anon here 😎 anyways tighnari + cyno with an aphrodisiac please 😭 or maybe just some pure fluff if you’re uncomfy or maybe both! ❤️ ps I love your writing

hello beautifuls!! i apologize for taking a long break. these past few months have gotten even worse for me, my mental health has been the worst it’s ever been </3. so please just give me some time! i have lots of requests to do!

literally overthinking so hard right now. do you mean cyno and tighnari separate aphrodisiac hcs/fanfic with the reader, or like them together in the fic ? STOP I DONT KNOW UHMMDMM GUYS

i’m just assuming you’re talking about them together 😭 oh my god if you’re not asking for them to be together in the fic and you wanted an x reader please please please message me when i post it IT’D BE SO EMBARRASSING UHM—

anyways yes of course i’ll write that for you darling !! i’m not uncomfortable in the slightest with writing aphrodisiac related stuff, as long as it’s consensual and both sides are comfortable <3 also, as im writing this currently, i apologize for taking so long to do your request! and im also very sorry, as this is pretty short

i feel like i never see sub cyno so here you guys go-

enjoy the smutty hcs anyways! take care, stay healthy & safe, & remember that it’s ok to take time for yourself!

warning(s): aphrodisiac, smut, sub!cyno & dom!tighnari

we all know that tighnari is a little tease so he’d be the one giving cyno a “special drink”

^^and cyno would immediately be suspicious… asking him what it is and why he made it n such

“Oh, hush now, Cyno. I’m showing you hospitality.”

we also all know that when tighnari is horny, he gets all slutty and ohhhh my god. me next tighnari?

unrelated kinda but the way sex with them (without aphrodisiac) would be a domination battle bro😭😭

ok ok anyways, so cyno eventually gives in and drinks the mysterious liquid. cyno isn’t as educated with how certain mixtures taste, and what they are, so he’ll simply enjoy the drink and believe it’s just a wholesome strawberry & cream beverage

cyno decides to stay in tighnari’s office for the same reason he came— trying to find certain papers.

^^while tighnari sits at his desk with a smug smirk, jotting some things on paper, cyno looks through paperwork and notes around the office

cyno hadn’t even finished the entire beverage before he started feeling all funny. a little buzzy, hot chills with cold skin, his body almost feeling a little heavy to walk around with.

after a few more minutes, tighnari’s ear perks up a bit when he hears cyno’s soft, barely audible pants and exhales. tighnari writes with the ink a little harder, closing his eyes in anticipation

“Cyno, you might—”

Cyno spins Tighnari’s chair around to face him. cyno’s arms hold onto the desk behind tighnari, pinning tighnari with both arms on either side of his head

all tighnari could do his give him a small look of sympathy at how wrecked cyno looked

“Oh, my. What’s the matter, Cyno? Are you feeling okay?”

a hand reached up to touch cyno’s neck, tighnari’s head tilted to the side slightly

“Are you feeling… needy today, Cyno? You look as though you’re in need of something.”

cyno only stared at him, his face having a frustrated & annoyed glare to it. tighnari’s eyebrows were creased, trying his best not to smirk behind the sympathetic expression.

“What did you put in that damn drink.”

tighnari’s lips finally curled up to a smirk as he stood up, easily taking cyno’s wrists and backing him down on the couch in tighnari’s office

cyno looked up at tighnari, his eyebrows creased as he got cold chills down his spine. the way tighnari’s face looked so bliss, ready to fulfill cyno’s needs as he sees fit

“What do you want me to do to you, Cyno?”

me next tighnari

cyno’s needy hands grabbed tighnari, kissing him and tugging on his clothes. tighnari couldn’t help but smirk

and after some time, a few rounds even, with cyno on his stomach and out of breath and tighnari atop of him, cyno whimpering and crying

“Please… Tighnari… more.” cyno would sniff and tighnari would just chuckle to himself

“Alright. One more quick round, and then I have to get back to work, naughty boy.”

god they’re so

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin smut #cyno #sumeru #cyno x tighnari #tighnari x cyno #cyno imagines #tighnari hcs #genshin tighnari #genshin impact smut #genshin hcs #cyno genshin impact #tighnari

[vickyvicarious]

JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL. MY BOY IS BACCKKKK

omg it's been so long

"all I wrote down was... true." and then the pause... ajfklasdf

the HESITATION before "the Count" and the HATRED ohohohohoho

ooh somehow I always missed that Jonathan went to pick van Helsing up from the hotel. no wonder he was surprised to see him

heehee, Jonathan being charmed by van Helsing being charmed by Mina

that sting of music at "you have cured me." is spooky!

Love the delivery of "Doctor, you don't know what it is to doubt everything, even yourself. -No, you don't!... you couldn't... with eyebrows like yours!" Jonathan sounds almost lost in his own head/memories at first, and then like he's cutting van Helsing off forcefully, too forcefully. He realizes how intense he's being, tries to save it by turning things into a lighthearted joke

ohh, van Helsing has such a fun laugh when he isn't King Laughing.

Jonathan: "<3 I would listen to him go on praising Mina for a day <3"

more HANDSHAKES OF FRIENDSHIP I love them so much

ohhhh, Jonathan's voice when he says it made him choky. So cute.

Jonathan's ferocity on "I am with you heart and soul."

""The Westminster Gazette"—I knew it by the colour" Jonathan is so observant. I wonder if he went home and bought his own copy to read for what affected van Helsing so much. but he might be too busy with Count preparations

"Mein Gott! Mein Gott! So soon! so soon!" THIS DELIVERYYYYYY and the repeated "so soon"s continuing under the train noises. agonizing

I never realized that van Helsing didn't expect Lucy to be risen yet! This is the first he knows of her hunting down kids!

"Truly there is no such thing as finality." god Jack sounds so exhausted. He's had more sleep in the past few days than in ages but he sounds tired and miserable still. And once again he's isolating himself in work, not reaching out to friends for comfort.

"I had a letter from Arthur," the wistful almost laugh, and god everything that comes after about Art and Quincey. It is so apparent that he wants to be there with them, that he wishes he could be receiving comfort too, but he doesn't feel like he is the one who deserves it.

"he will only let out enough at a time to whet curiosity." he sounds tired here. in an annoyed way, but mostly just tired. he doesn't seem to have the energy to feel curious anymore, because what's the point? Lucy is already gone.

van Helsing STILL refusing to speak first, buddy he is outright asking you to just tell him. start with the vampires!

every single "____? no?" is so funny. he says it almost the same way every time, trying to find his baseline for Jack's skepticism

"For, had she live one more day, we could have save her." oooof

"Do you mean to tell me that Lucy was bitten by such a bat; and that such a thing is here in London in the nineteenth century?" van Helsing, this was your opportunity! if only he knew that Jack has noticed Bat Weirdness already, it would have been a great opening

so much corn

"Here I interrupted him. I was getting bewildered;" he sounds it, oh my goodness. Also still just upset and distressed by all this

"[harsh sigh] To believe what?" SO frustrated, ahhahaha I love it, and I totally get it

""In God's name, Professor Van Helsing, what! do! you! meannnn?"" bwhaahahahaa omg Jack Has Had Enough

"Oh, my friend, why, think you, did I go so far round, why take so long to tell you so simple a thing? Was it because I hate you and have hated you all my life? Was it because I wished to give you pain? Was it that I wanted, now so late, revenge for that time when you saved my life, and from a fearful death? Ah no!" VERY dramatic wording, some more Miette energy here

but seriously, Jack is so loyal, and willing to go so far for the people he loves

Dr Vincent sounding American is funny because that means so far the only people in London to namedrop vampires are all American. I guess that fits with vampire bats being from South America

"he said he wanted to play with the 'bloofer lady." so at least we can assume Lucy has that vampire charm going on pretty well. She isn't hunting via scare tactics or stealth. She's playing with them, or at least they think she is. thoughts about vampire hunting strategies...

"and standing back, politely, but quite unconsciously, motioned me to precede him. There was a delicious irony in the offer, in the courtliness of giving preference on such a ghastly occasion." this is funny for other reasons too if you think about how nervous van Helsing probably is too. also how he is trying to make sure Jack can't just leave

Jack is great at setting a spooky/sad scene.

the bag rustling noises! the coffinlid creak!

Jack's whisper... and his protectiveness over Lucy...

van Helsing's bone saw gets a lot of use for non-bone purposes

"all the dogged argumentativeness" ohohoho he's feeling so stubborn and almost petulant sounding. I love the sarcasm in van Helsing's "That is good logic."

the strong threat of breakdown of trust in van Helsing offering the key, so Jack will know he isn't messing with the coffin/corpse. And Jack just stubbornly refusing because that wouldn't be enough to stop van Helsing anyways

and yet despite his anger, his frustration and exhaustion and disbelief, he still doesn't leave. he willingly stands vigil.

the music as Lucy comes through. oh, I love it

"Are you satisfied now?" van Helsing has an edge of guilt and horror, the tired almost sigh on the last word. And yet this entire situation has NOT been predisposing Jack to buy in so he just gets even snippier and more sarcastic ("yes, it is a child!")

Jack and van Helsing sneaking up and dropping a little kid in the path of a policeman is such an absurd image. but it's really sad at the same time. I feel awful for these poor kids.

#dracula daily #re: dracula #van helsing #jonathan harker #jack seward #vampire!lucy #lucy westenra

[jovenshires]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

oh my god........ im emotional fr. this was so, so, SO much fun and stella, i will speak for EVERYONE you sent these asks to when i say that we are all so grateful to YOU for organizing it. you brought the community together in such an amazing way, asking us thought-provoking and interesting questions, a lot of which i never would have thought to ask. and yet i got to learn all my mutuals' answers anyway!!! it made me feel like i really got to know everyone, even the people im too scared to start a convo with bc i am a Coward. i love you, we all adore you, thank you SO much, and i cant wait to see where smoshblr goes in the new year now that we are all closer than ever <3<3<3<3<3

okay so...... okay okay okay okay HERE we go. im gonna put it under the cut bc this got SO long but if you want a tl;dr summary, please by all means go check out this video i made at the beginning of the month bc. it sums it up tbh.

making all of my amazing friends: i am literally. an emotional wreck just thinking ab this. anyway. i've already been sappy enough this year (from my christmas presents to my many many personal posts and asks that are just. me talking about how much i love these people), but i would still be remiss if i didn't mention my beautiful, wonderful friends. im not gonna tag them all here - it'd be too many and you all know who you are <3<3<3 - but to everyone i've dmed for hours on end, or talked to in replies, or mutuals i've never even spoken to at all, or anons who come into my askbox and just have the most wonderful interactions with me, i am so, so eternally grateful. i made new friends; i reconnected with one of my best friends in the WHOLE world; i met some people who i never would have spoken to otherwise and found such an incredible community. i love you all so so SO much (yes ALL of you even if you think im not talking ab you if you're reading this i AM), and i am so excited to see what happens with all of us next. love you all. mwah. <3

domo day/my birthday: oh my god. OHHHH my god. literally the fic that brought me back to this fandom. i am not crying its fine im FINE. domo - aka dancing on my own - was a passion project from the very start. i thought, 'well, no one will wanna read this niche lil fic that im writing just to deal with My very personal trauma about an rpf ship that no one cares about.' (mind you i started it before i even posted right side, so, like, i literally thought it was just me standing on a deserted island.) and then five or six months later... there we were. i posted it on my birthday (bc i Live for drama !) and god. the amount of love and support i got that day was... everything to me. when i said this was a passion project, i mean that it was truly one of the first things i sat down and wrote For Myself, without giving a fuck what anyone else would think. it was something i poured my heart and soul into because i needed to read it. and when other people started to reach out - telling me how much they related, how much they got from it, how much it meant to them. then there was the analyses of it from everyone,,,, not to mention the birthday love. my birthday is a HUGE thing for me, and, as i told you at the time, you were the very first person to wish me a happy birthday stella (with that incredible moodboard that i think of frequently........ the rat.........). and then kit went and published bad idea and gifted it to ME which was such an incredible and treasured gesture and... truly some of my irls forgot to wish me a happy birthday so. im just so honored and i love you all so much. thank you for loving me and my dearest darling daughter domo <333333

shaynse day: this literally isn't even about me, it's honestly about nat, but this changed my brain chemistry and i think everybody's tbh. it was the way that the MOMENT the love is blind video dropped, we all gathered around my blog to hold hands, sing kumbaya, and all hail the shaynse anon (aka now shaynse founder nat). they had their third eye OPEN. and everyone had to come check on them to make sure they were okay. that meant so much to me. not only did it mean that enough people were reading my blog that an anon had their own niche subset of a fan base, but it was truly like. one of the best displays of fandom togetherness i've ever seen. we were all so united that day. god bless november 19th, aka shaynse day, my FAVORITE national holiday.

gedits: i really Dont think i have to explain this one. this is one of my favorite bits (but also its not really a bit and i genuinely wanna fuck that old man). making thirst traps for garrett? oh my god. stroke of actual genius. once again another day we all came together, held hands, and decided we were ALL gonna be garrett fuckers. long live gedits. they will never stop and im NOT sorry about it.

the bsf fan art: i have literally never had fan art made for my fic before...... i screamed and cried and threw up when someone made fan art for the bed-sharing fic. furry-jackson is my hero and this fan art lives in my mind RENT FUCKING FREE. it truly imprinted itself on my brain and i think about it all the time. thanks so much to them for loving i could be the reason as much as i do <3333

the top ten dynamics poll: !!!!! my baby!!!! i truly thank you all so much for indulging me by voting in that silly lil poll. it was so SO interesting to see the way the dynamics stacked up. not to mention, it also got me into gif-making again!! that was the first time i'd made gifs in ages, especially gifs i was proud of. but i love that silly lil gif series so much, one of my favorite projects of the year, so thank you all <3

smoshblr december asks: i mean. i said it all up top, but it's worth mentioning again. this was so, so, SO much fun, and it must have been such hard work for you, and i am honored that you did all this work for US of all people when you are so busy and talented and working so hard just in like. YOUR LIFE. honestly, this whole section could just be called 'stella,' bc i am so, so grateful for you especially coming into my life this year. whether we're working together on fic or just chatting about our lives or shouting back and forth about why EVERY taylor swift song is in fact a spommy song, i am just so lucky to have you and i love you so, so much. you always tolerate my shenanigans and i am SO incredibly lucky to have you as a friend. anyway. yeah i love you and smoshblr december asks so there.

#smoshblr december asks #stella #ask #asks #wallpaper inside my heart

[tywrites]

velvet tongue | ryan erzahler

request: HHIIIII PLEASE RYAN X READER OHHHH MY GOD so like one night the reader decides to tease him a lot and there is like a huge build of of sexual tension and than he’s finally like girl pls😭😭 and so we release all of his tension LOLif this is a no that’s so fine i can totally write it myself i just love ur stuff lol - @ggrrrararrararara​

a/n: oh my GOD. ok i had a lot of fun writing this... i think i might have made him subbier than expected but i really hope you enjoy aaa <33

pairing: ryan erzahler x gen!reader

summary: you’re a tease and ryan needs some release ;)

word count: 1, 916

warnings: sub!ryan, dom!reader, oral (m receiving), 18+

-

He was on his knees. And god, he looked pretty when he was on his knees.

You circled around him slowly, eyeing him like a predator. He was so fucking gorgeous. His brown skin glowed in the candlelight as he shivered under your intense gaze. His pretty eyes followed you around the room, looking up at you curiously. You wanted nothing more than to ruin him right at that moment.

But you played the long game. You planned to make him beg. Have him writhing beneath you, pleading with you to make him feel good.

Only then would you oblige.

You stopped behind him. Reaching out, you traced patterns on the back of his neck with your fingertips, oh so lightly. You heard a sharp inhale, smiling to yourself. When you'd first hooked up, you were surprised to find that Ryan was incredibly sensitive everywhere. His neck, his torso, his inner thighs... All you'd have to do is run your fingers over him and he'd be gasping under you.

As you dragged the tips of your fingers over his skin, you felt the heat radiating from him like a furnace. Kneeling beside him, you brought your face close to him, ghosting your lips over his neck. Ryan bit his lip, his eyes fluttering closed in anticipation. You could smell his cologne, a subtle pine scent with a hint of citrus. You pressed a soft, deliberate kiss to his neck. You felt him tense under your lips, before melting into you, trying to lean into your body for some kind of contact.

"You're so needy, Ryan," you whispered in his ear.

He recoiled, gulping. "I.. I'm not," he retorted, lowering his head.

"Oh? So you don't want to finish this then?"

His head snapped to you, his face twisted in despair. "No! I mean, yes.. I do want to finish-"

"Mm, but you said-"

"I didn't mean it, I just..." He grappled for something to say. "You're teasing me.."

You smirked meanly. "I would never. I'll give you exactly what you want,"

He perked up in hope.

"Eventually." You finished, standing up. He deflated.

You walked around to the front of him, taking all of him in. He was still fully clothed which definitely needed to be fixed. He looked desperate, but not desperate enough to beg. Not yet. You needed to break him, pull it out of him.

You walked closer, so close that his face was directly in front of your crotch. He bit his lip, trying not to stare as his eyes darted anywhere but right in front of him.

"Cute," you teased. Ryan felt his cheeks heat up, his dick hardening in his trousers. "Don't worry, you'll get this later," you chuckled, rubbing yourself over your jeans. You caressed his chin. "If you beg, of course."

"I'm not going to beg," he said weakly. Your eyes narrowed, hand going to his hair before yanking it, not too hard but hard enough to make him whimper.

"Oh, you'll beg. I'll make sure of it. Stand up."

He stood up on shaky legs. You immediately pulled him close to your body, your hands fumbling with the hem of his t-shirt. You could feel his erection against your thigh and fuck, it was hard to hold back. You made quick work of his shirt, pulling it over his head before balling it up and chucking it somewhere in the cabin. He wasn't crazy muscular, but he was nicely toned and structured. His skin was smooth, pretty moles dotted around his body.

He bashfully moved to cover up, but you caught his wrists. "Please don't. You're gorgeous,"

This made him all the more shy but he couldn't help appreciating your words. Praise just made him feel like putty in your hands. He was still processing your comment when you pressed your lips against his. He leaned into the kiss, his arms wrapping around your neck as he clung to you. Your hands roamed his body, sliding up his sides with feather-light touches making him shiver in your arms. You began walking him backwards, not stopping until you had him pressed against the wall of the cabin. He whimpered when you smoothly fitted your leg between his thighs, the pressure on his dick making his legs tremble. You continued to kiss him roughly as you pinned him to the wall. Your hands eventually slid down to his trousers, swiftly unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper.

Heart speeding up at your ministrations, Ryan gasped into your mouth as you released him from his pants, letting them fall down to his feet. He hurriedly stepped out of them, his underwear now the only barrier between his body and you. His hazy mind barely registered the fact that you were still fully clothed, but once it did, his face flushed in shame.

"You're so pretty like this, love," you panted in his ear, pressing hot kisses down the side of his neck. "Can't wait to have you under me,"

He whined, his hips grinding against your thigh as he clung to you. He hated what you did to him. His usually calm and collected front destroyed, reduced to a whiny mess. But he didn't care. He set aside his shame for you – the way you touched him, the way you made him feel completely making up for his broken pride.

You chuckled, feeling the way he bucked his hips into your leg. He was so cute. It was funny because you expected him to be a little more dominant than he was. Guess you brought out the submissive side to him.

"Stop teasing, it's not fair," he grumbled in frustration, his dick straining against his boxers uncomfortably.

"Aw, it's not fair? You know how to end this, love. All you have to do is say the word,"

He went silent, biting his lip. You rolled your eyes, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss once again. Time to up the ante.

Your hand slid down, fiddling with the hem of his boxers before slipping inside. He gasped in surprise when he felt your hand on his cock, gripping it firmly as your thumb circled his tip. He groaned, legs buckling under him. You grinned to yourself as he grasped your shoulders, trying so hard to hold himself up.

"Don't you want me to make you feel good, Ryan?" You looked him in the eyes, slowly stroking his cock.

With each stroke his brow furrowed more and more before he finally squeaked out a quiet "please..."

You smirked to yourself, your hand slowing on his cock. "What was that? Speak up a bit, love,"

He groaned in frustration, burying his face into the crook of your neck. He mumbled again.

"Say it louder or you'll get nothing,"

He took a deep breath. "Please," he said desperately.

Success. "Please what?"

He pouted. "Please... make me feel good. Please, I need you," he whispered quietly.

Christ.

You bit back a moan. You acted fast. You pulled him from the wall, walking over to the bed before pushing him down onto it. He landed on the soft sheets. You stood over him, gazing at him intently. You leaned down, bringing your face close to his crotch. You peppered gentle kisses onto his bulge, his face burning as he watched you. It was all far too much for him.

After having your fun, you hooked your fingers into his underwear and pulled them off. You stood back to take him in fully. He truly was beautiful. He squirmed under your intense stare, saying your name pleadingly.

Finally, you complied. You crawled on top of him, one hand going to his cock while the other spread his legs wide. He moaned loudly, his hand flying to his mouth in order to muffle them. If anyone heard him sounding like that, he would never live it down. Of course, you weren't too happy about this. Moving your hand from his thigh, you pulled his hand away from his mouth.

"Nuh uh," you smirked. "Let me hear those pretty noises, love,"

He gasped at a particularly rough stroke, hips chasing your hand. But it still wasn't enough.

"More," Ryan whined.

"More? But I'm already touching you, what more could you possibly want?" You teased, quickening your pace on his dick. "Tell me exactly what you want."

"I- I want-"

"Yeah?"

"Want your..."

"Say it."

"Want your mouth, want your mouth on me, please please-" he garbled, grasping your arm as you pumped him.

"See, wasn't so hard, was it?" You smiled as you slowly lowered your face down until you were level with his cock. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation, breathing quickening as he waited for what he'd been craving all evening.

You licked a bold stripe along his dick, from his balls to the tip. He cried out, his hand flying to your hair. You wasted no time in enveloping him, taking him into your mouth and sucking the tip hard. He couldn't stop the moans escaping his mouth as he held on for dear life. You held down his hips to stop him from bucking up into you and took more of his cock into your mouth, breathing heavily through your nose.

You gagged slightly when his dick hit the back of your throat, his groan sending shock waves through you. All you wanted was to make him feel good, reward him for being so good for you. You took as much as you could, pumping whatever you couldn't take with your hand. You paid special attention to the head, knowing how sensitive he was there. Your other hand massaged his balls, rolling them in your hand and forcing little high pitched whines from Ryan. He really couldn't handle this.

All the teasing had worn him so thin and he could feel himself getting close already. He whimpered our your name. "I- I think I'm close-"

He expected you to pull back, to prolong his orgasm as long as possible. You weren't that cruel. He deserved to cum. You forced your mouth deeper onto his dick causing his hips to buck up. You choked around him, saliva spilling out from your mouth and dripping down his cock. He was panting and moaning and he couldn't stop saying your name, thrusting up into your mouth as he got closer and closer to snapping. His thighs were shaking, his hands holding onto your hair for dear life as he fucked your mouth.

Soon, his hips started stuttering, his moans becoming high pitched and even louder.

He groaned your name again, pushing your head down onto his dick before finally letting go. Hot cum flooded your mouth and you gulped it down the best you could. He held you down onto his dick, making you take every last drop while you continued to suck, milking him for all he was worth. He was trembling, watching you take his load.

Eventually, he let go of your hair, your scalp aching so good from the rough treatment. You took in deep grateful breaths, panting. Ryan had fell back onto the bed, chest heaving while he tried to calm himself down. You giggled, crawling up his body until you were over him. You pecked a gentle kiss to his lips before rolling to his side, pulling him against you. You ran your hands soothingly over his skin, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

#the quarry x reader #the quarry imagine

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

With the tf talk being about being your higher self before union can happen without getting into the same cycles (going round and round), was wondering if happiness could have a deeper meaning or am I reading too much into it?

''And in the disbelief, I can't face reinvention I haven't met the new me yet'

'When did all our lessons start to look like weapons'

'All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness You haven't met the new me yet And I think she'll give you that'

Some other lyrics from top of my head that this tf talk had me thinking of (long reach but may as well mention) -

In the song him , it starts with

'So you were right There’s always two The one who stays, and the one who’s leaving you

Which can describe the runner/chaser dynamic. Usually switches back and forth as well due to energies.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hIb47tXFbCo

I've seen people asking why never on the same page etc and the above vid would make sense until growth has happened.

In coney island -

'Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to?'

Song seven etc could relate to them actually always been connected even though not physically?

And when I was shipwrecked (Can't think of all the cost) I thought of you (All the things that will be lost now) In the cracks of light (Can we just get a pause?) I dreamed of you (To be certain we'll be tall again) (If you think of all the costs) It was real enough (Whether weather be the frost) To get me through (Or the violence of the dog days) (Out on waves being tossed) I swear (Is there a line that we could just go cross?) You were there

Cracks of light seems to be a common thing with them and that one account.

Also dreams /connections feeling as if other person is there is a common thing tf? I think they both mention dream/daydreams in songs.

The song she could have deeper meanings too.

Sweet creature -

'We don't know where we're going but we know where we belong'

'And ohhhh, we started Two hearts in one home'

'Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home You bring me home'

Anon, these are all really terrific points!

My initial tendency (which might surprise you all) is to assume that lyrics are about the likeliest possible subject/the one the artist says. That means that for evermore, quoted above, I automatically thought YB. But when she played it live—without the haunting Bon Iver contribution—I started rethinking:

- shipwrecked, and I thought of you? Dreamed of you in the cracks of light? “It was real enough to get me through and I swear: you were there”?

Wasn’t YB physically with her at this time? And now with this new info…ooof. Yeah - this was not (just) a message for YB.

I would be remiss not to note that some of the references in happiness are to Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby:

- Daisy’s famous line “I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”

- “the green light” of forgiveness.

And we know Blondie loves Zelda and F Scott Fitzgerald.

But yeah - those are great catches. And Sweet Creature and coney island.

Plus, you know my thoughts on seven:

And her desire to see and affirm and help the scared child in this song? Takes on a whole new meaning if it is underscored by a belief that they’ve always been connected. Oh god. Is this the “birthmark” in Little Freak, that she didn’t see until later?

I know so little about this, including the possible use of “stay” to indicate the runner/chaser dynamic. Nor the dream/daydream connection that is all over their lyrics.

Does the moon/Saturn come in here too?

Paging @womanexile who is working on a TF mega post.

Anon - thank you so much for this detailed ask!

[sunspray-peak]

Ch. 59: Easy

SATURDAY - WINTER 13

As much as Achilles loathed the snow, it had proven to have somehow gifted him a rather peaceful and productive series of days. Though perhaps it was less the snow, and more… Alex. Nothing else—no one else, really—he’d encountered in Stardew had quite managed to calm the rollercoaster of this past year as well as Alex had. 

Was he thinking about him? Likely not—the kiss he’d left behind had been, objectively, clearly more jest than anything else. Regardless, Achilles hadn’t allowed idle speculation to distract him from the duties at hand. Holed up in the temperate climate of his well-heated home, he had neglected to shovel his 2 acres of land, opting instead to sit at his desk with a cat in his lap and a pen in his hand. It wasn’t a novel he was writing, however—no, his brain still refused to respond in that regard—but letters. Letters to family, letters to old friends, letters to himself. 

But the blinding, glowing sun cutting through his windows early Saturday morning had managed to melt with its golden cheer even his hatred for the cold. And so, shortly after 6am, Achilles threw on a robe and made himself a cup of tea before tottering his stiff joints to the front door. A breath of fresh air couldn’t hurt. Perhaps he’d do some bird watching on the porch or… something. 

But it seemed that someone else had had similar ideas. 

“What the fuck—god dammit—” This was really getting out of hand—really ought to get a lid for your mugs at this rate, or a thermos… Achilles wiped his sodden sleeve across his porch swing’s wooden plank of an armrest. It did not help, and now his hand was scraped as well as scalded. “Really, Alex we ought to put a bell on you, with this little habit of yours, just loitering around on my porch—you can knock, you know.” 

“Oh—geez, I’m sorry, not my fault you’re so jumpy, I’m sorry—I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake—” 

“I’m always awake. It’s a real problem.” Achilles clicked his tongue and nodded for Alex to take a seat on the swing before noticing the six inches of snow piled on the cushion. “Come inside. I suppose I’ll have to make myself another cup now, would you like one?” 

“Oh. No, I can’t stay long. First day on the new job, wanna get there early… I just wanted to… stop by. Say hi.”

“Oh yes! Mr. Manager.” Achilles glanced to the east where the bus stop lay beyond the borders of Strawberry Farms. Even shielding his eyes, he still had to squint to make out Alex’s halting footsteps breaking up the otherwise untouched snow. “Damn. You trudged through all that just to say hi?” 

“Well, in my defense, I expected you to’ve shoveled the path.” 

“Yikes. Me? Big mistake—”

“—yeah, I see that now—”

“—I assumed it’d be, I don’t know, a government responsibility. How long does it take snow to melt?” 

“Why would the government be shoveling the snow on your farm, Ash?” 

“I don’t know, listen, I hail from desert country—”

“Ohhhh, I see, did the government shovel sand out of your driveway in Monstera? Because you might just be getting that mixed up with being rich.” 

“Yeah, yeah, all right…” Achilles chucked a halfheartedly constructed snowball that Alex easily dodged. “Now what do you want? Everything okay? What brings you lurking like a gremlin on my porch this early in the morning?”

“No, everything’s fine, I was just… hoping to catch you.” 

“Well. You caught me.” Achilles glanced down at his still-wet sleeve. It was too cold for this, and he likely needed a bandage. 

Alex bit his lip before reaching into his coat—Yoba, really, it was quite unfair how one could make such a simple, innocent little hand motion look so seductive. He withdrew a pale green envelope and offered it forward. “I, um. I wrote you a letter—” 

“Did you steal that from Lewis? I swear he has the same stationary—” 

“—I just figured I’d hand deliver it since, you know, you never open your dang mail, you punk.” 

“A thing like that! You know, that’s probably the most considerate thing a person has ever done for me this whole year.” With a squirrelly little smile, Achilles slipped his pointer finger smoothly under the envelop flap before catching sight of Alex staring rather alarmingly wide-eyed, as if petrified, at the letter between his hands. “Or… shall I open it later?” 

“Oh—um—no, that’s all right, you can go ahead. Actually, no—yes. Later. Actually, you know what, I’ll just read it to you.” 

Bemused but chuckling lightly, Achilles offered the envelope back. But Alex only shook his head. 

“Man, I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m sorry. I’ll just tell you what it says.” 

“So… no one’s opening the letter…?” 

Alex shook his head again, ran a hand through his hair—a few strands broke loose from whatever gel or product he must’ve used to style it this morning. Being manager demanded a fresh new look, it seemed, but Achilles bit back his smile—didn’t seem appropriate, given that Alex seemed close to hyperventilating on his front porch.

Instead, Achilles pocketed the letter, which seemed to be the main source of Alex’s unusually pale visage, and asked, “Are you… okay…? You sure you don’t… want some… tea?”

And just like that, it was as if a light switch had been flicked. Alex smiled and, cocking his head slightly, chirped, “Would you like to get dinner tonight? 

“What?” Achilles took half a second to register the dissonance regarding the degree of joy that had accompanied this rather banal question. He’d been expecting something much more dramatic—Lewis’ last will and testament, perhaps… “Dinner? …Sure. Is any place going to be open, though? With all the snow? Still seems quite deep.”  

“Yeah, the government does actually shovel public property, if you must know—”

“All right—”

“I checked with Gus on the way here, the Stardrop’s open. If that works. For you.” 

“What time?” 

Alex blinked several times before asking, “6:30?” 

“Sure.” 

“Yeah?” 

“…yeah…” 

Alex beamed. “Wow! Really? Great! Really great! Um. I’ll see you then!” 

Achilles nodded slowly, his wet sleeve forgotten as his brain worked to stymie the confusion currently sweeping his brain as Alex bounded off the porch and nearly half-skipped off the farm. It was quite a few minutes before he retreated back indoors, where he promptly curled himself onto his couch beneath the portrait of two root vegetables and continued to think. 

Alex, on the other hand, was halfway through his very first day as Orange Grove Fitness’ new manager before realizing that both the conversation he had spent all night constructing and the letter he had spent all morning writing had been completely devoid of quite a number of choice key words. And right at the end of his lunch break! Head buried atop his new desk, a ham and cheese sandwich scrunched in his fist as his (Achilles’) watch struck 2…

“Oh, you stupid idiot, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Date. How in the heckity heck did you miss the word—”

*****

This was a date. 

Surely, Alex had been asking him out on a date. 

Now he hadn’t said the word date. But the man wouldn’t have chewed straight through his lip or hiked two miles through half-shoveled snow to hand deliver a hand written note just to ask Achilles to a simple dinner. Right? They’d had dinner a million times, there was definitely something different to this one. Right? 

Stay calm, bitch! 

The clues were clear—Achilles had written them down in his notebook to better organize his thoughts, and even if he set aside his own feelings, the whole situation was still quite objectively suspect. An ordinary request such as this would not have required such extra-ordinary efforts if the aforementioned ordinary request was, in actuality, an ordinary request. RIGHT?  

But it just seemed so… sudden. Surely a near-platonic peck on the nose couldn’t have triggered something to this extent? He had hoped the letter would be more explicit, but it unfortunately hadn’t revealed much either. 

Hi Achilles! Hope you enjoyed your first ever snow day. Or snow week, really. How many crosswords did you get done? I bet you made the most of it, but if you didn’t, that’s cool, too. 

I know this mihgt seem really sudden, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past couple of days, and I would love if you met me in the saloon tonight for dinner. 6:30pm if that works.

Hope to see you then! :-)

Best,

Alex. 

He’d have given the man a call to clarify if it hadn’t been his first day on the new job.

Oh, Alex, Alex, Alex… 

Achilles was calm. He was always calm, right? He’d just… act normal. Follow Alex’s lead. Yes. This was going to be fine. 

But he made sure to clean his room. Just in case. 

*****

Alex—well the whole town, really—always claimed he overdressed, so even if this wasn’t a date, the embroidered bomber jacket Achilles had adorned wouldn’t have raised any alarm bells. 

It would be best not to get his hopes up, though. Just in case. But as Achilles trudged through the half-shoveled snow to the saloon, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. 

Emily welcomed him the moment he stepped foot in the saloon, her eyes glittering as she took his arm. Haley, he saw, was coincidentally paying the Stardrop a rare visit today, having claimed a booth to herself despite the crowds and its accompanying damp, musty scent. She pursed her lips when he made eye contact, gave a wily little wiggle of her shoulders—really, quite remarkable how up in his business that button nose of hers could reach. He responded with a venomous grin and a raised middle finger. Incredibly impolite, of course, but he was only returning what she’d given him many a season ago. 

Achilles followed Emily down the back hall to where the private rooms lay (So… definitely a date, right?), where they stopped at the very last door. 

“Right along in here… oh, and would you look at that, I forgot to bring the menus. You go on in, I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, all right, Emily…”  

As she dashed away, arms held aloft like a ballerina, he took a deep breath, then pushed the door open. 

Immediately, Alex, who had been seated at a small table in quite a small private room, jumped to his feet, tripping over the wooden chair as he half-stumbled for the door. “Hey!” 

Oh fuck. 

Outside of the Flower Festival back in the Spring, Achilles had rarely seen Alex out of activewear and athleisure. The sight of those arms now, tight in the sleeves of a forest green cardigan, would’ve alone been enough to send even Leah’s heart racing, surely. But the lightly patterned, sage button down—well. A man after his own heart.

Alex’s hair was combed back, tidier than he’d ever seen it (though a part of Achilles did miss the casual, semi-messy curls of it all), and as he shut the door behind him, he noticed something more akin to vanilla and cinnamon had replaced Alex’s usual citrus scent. 

But Achilles quickly found his breath and shook himself out of his reverie, taking a step forward just as Alex finished picking up the chair he’d sent keeling to the floor. 

“Hi—”

“This-was-supposed-to-be-a-date-but-if-you-don’t-want-it-to-be-one-I-completely-understand-I-didn’t-mean-to-ambush-you-I’m-just-really-stupid-just-tell-me-whatever-it-is-you-want.” 

But Achilles could only blink, lost in Alex’s rather anxious, wild-eyed stare, eyes greener than ever in the rosy overhead lighting. 

Did you hear that right? It is a date—you were right, good for you. Wait. He definitely said date, right? He said it was a date. Confirm? Confirm— “Pardon?” 

“Also these are for you. I mean, if you want them.”

Alex half-shoved a cellophaned bouquet into Achilles’ hands. Half a dozen white roses and goldenrod wrapped in a emerald green ribbon. Not Pierre’s work, or even Jojamart’s. No, someone must’ve paid a visit to a Zuzu City florist. 

Date?

Yes! Date! 

Man, you gotta say something, bitch. 

“Oh. Thank you. These are… beautiful. Thanks. Yes. A date. I… assumed.” 

Assumed? Assumed? My god, what an arrogant prick you are. Get it together. What’s the matter with you?

He accepted the flowers from Alex, and in a sudden flash of inspiration, let his fingers linger on Alex’s for perhaps one or two seconds longer than necessary as the bouquet was passed between them. The effect was instantaneous—at this apparent affirmation of Achilles’, Alex’s visibly brightened, bounding back to the dinner table and pulling out Achilles’ chair for him. 

“Wow,” he exclaimed, scooting the chair forward as Alex hurried to the other end of the table. “I didn’t think people did that anymore. You do this for all the girls or just me?” 

“Don’t feel too special, I do that for everyone.”

“Damn. At least tell me I’m prettier than all the other girls you’ve dated.” 

“You know I don’t like lying, Ash, don’t make me do it.” Alex grinned, handing him a menu that Emily evidently had not forgotten to leave behind. 

“Zero for two. Well, it was worth a try.” God, shut up. He must’ve been more nervous than he realized. Babbling like this. Stupid jokes. Chill out, man. Why are you nervous? You’re never nervous! No reason to be nervous. He asked you out… you have all the power here. Yoba, shut the fuck up! Stop thinking like that! What’s wrong with you? Asshole! 

Achilles’ poker face was near to breaking as his self-disgust began to overwhelm his nerves, but he was luckily rescued by Emily, who had returned with a knock at the door. “No violin today, Al?” She shimmied in with her question, ignoring Alex’s groan, and raised her notepad, ready to take their orders. 

“I haven’t had Gus play the violin for me in 10 years, Emily, when is that joke ever going to die—” 

“Ask him about the violin,” she said, bumping Achilles’ shoulder with her hip. “And the Handbook.” 

“Emily—”

“Now just a warning for ya, it’s a bit busy tonight. Seems like lots of folks eager to get out after the storm, but Gus’ll get your order out shortly. Now what can I get for y’all?” 

A steak for Alex, linguine with mushroom cream for Achilles—with her usual spritely bow, Emily scampered from the room, leaving Alex still red from whatever merciless ribbing she had dealt him. 

“So,” Achilles began, lifting his glass of water. Perhaps a cold drink would wash away his lingering anxieties, though Emily’s return had broken most of the tension for him. “The violin…” 

With the defeated air of getting something over with, Alex took a similar swig from his water before launching into a hurried, one-breath explanation. “My grandpa gave me a dating handbook when I turned 13, and yes, I will admit I followed it pretty religiously up through college, so Haley really got to see the worst of it all, and she and Emily have never gotten over it, but hey, in my defense there’s some stuff in there that’s really not half bad, I swear.”  

“Like giving your date flowers? And pulling out their chair?”

Alex grimaced.

“Well shit, Al, I’m feeling less and less special by the second.” 

Here, Alex seemed to visibly deflate, sinking deeper into the back of his chair until Achilles, rather alarmed by the somewhat uncharacteristic lack of confidence—maybe he’s nervous, too, bitch—rapped his fingers sharply against the table. “I’m just joking, Al. Sorry, I’m being an ass, it’s very… charming.”

That seemed to be enough to pull Alex back to his usual self, and Achilles quickly plowed ahead, making sure to keep his tone light. “But the violin Emily mentioned?” 

“Ah. Yes.” Alex rubbed his nose, preparing his next words carefully as if gearing up for the worst. “Well, if you must know… according to the handbook, I’m supposed to start first dates with a little sort of violin serenade from Gus.” 

“You’re lying to me.” 

“I really wish I was.”

“And you actually… did that.” 

“Oh, just a few times. I don’t know man, my only source of dating advice when I moved here was my really old and old fashioned grandpa.”

“Fair enough. I’ll allow it.”

Alex chuckled, and once again took a quick sip from his drink just as Achilles raised his own. A lull in the conversation—but not an uncomfortable one, Achilles thought, as he took the opportunity to casually savor the view from over the rim of his glass. He hadn’t ever really allowed himself to do it before. It had always felt rather intrusive, salacious even, to stare for longer than a beat or so—but surely now, of all times, it was… okay. Right?

Clearly Alex had put in quite a bit of effort tonight, really, it felt wrong not to appreciate it all… anyway, it was hard to ignore those eyes sparkling from across the table, pink lips slightly parted as Alex readied himself to take probably his twentieth sip of water. Achilles could think of just a few other things he’d rather see those lips do, but he dug his thumb into his palm and refocused himself back to the present. You perv, he thought, his own lips twisting to the side as he attempted to hold back a wry grin. Get your mind out of the gutter.

It was Alex who broke the silence, with a tentative observation of his own. “You, um… you look really nice.” His fingers were locked tightly together as they rested atop the table, and through the floorboards, Achilles could feel the faint vibration of what must have been Alex bouncing his foot. “You don’t usually wear black.” 

“I do in the Winter, you’ll see. It tricks me into thinking I’m less cold than I am.” 

“Ha.” 

“You look good, too.” Achilles threw a nod in Alex’s general direction. “Probably should’ve opened with that, I was thinking it when I came in, but I suppose the words didn’t get a chance to make it out of my mouth.” 

“Oh!” A blush crept into the man’s cheeks as he glanced towards the floor. “Thank you. I- I wasn’t sure, personally, I told Haley I thought the sweater was too small, you know, but she, uh, she told me to shut up—” 

“Always, such a lovely, lovely girl.” Achilles’ eyes followed the well-defined slope of Alex’s bicep. “But she’s right. Don’t worry. It’s perfect.” 

“Well, I can’t really raise my arms…”

“Listen, I don’t know if you know this, but I actually come from a long line of really famous fashion designers, and by long line, I mean just my mother—”

“Man, you don’t know a dang thing about fashion—” 

“Fuck, 0/3—I thought this was supposed to be a date, why are you being so mean to me?”

“I’m not—well because—because you’re so calm, why are you always so calm, it’s pissing me off.” With a barking laugh, Alex chucked his napkin across the table as Achilles, rather bewildered by Alex’s uncharacteristically off-base observation, flung his hands instinctively in front of his face. 

“It’s incredibly kind of you to ignore the five mental breakdowns you’ve witnessed me have, is doing that part of your grandpa’s handbook, too?” But as Achilles slid the cloth back across the table, he became more serious, and he continued in a somewhat softer tone. “There’s no reason to be nervous, Al, it’s just me. Just think of all the times I’ve humiliated myself in front of you, eh?”

That elicited a small smile, at the very least. But while Achilles’ anxiety had since settled for the most part, it seemed Alex would need more than a weak joke. 

“Speaking of nerves though, how was the first day on the new job, Mr. Manager?” 

Achilles gave himself a private pat on the back as Alex jumped at the redirection, the apprehension in his eyes rapidly melting as he eagerly shared his new schedule. 

What a pro you are! Still got it… 

The conversation carried them all through Emily’s return with their appetizers and dishes—and it was only after she left (with a rather unnecessary promise of “leaving them undisturbed”), that Alex’s hands, so animated during his recounting, returned to tightly gripping the glass of his water. 

Achilles waited—as Alex would ruefully say—calmly. It was clear he had something to say.

And indeed, Alex cleared his throat with the tiniest cough and, after a quick glance at the door to confirm they were indeed alone, pulled his chair an inch forward. 

“Um. Right. Achilles. So. I thought I’d get a private room so we could… talk. I mean, not that we wouldn’t be able to talk if we didn’t have a private room, but it’s loud out there, and it’s what my grandpa’s handbook always said I should do anyway—I don’t know why I just admitted that, I’m sorry. Um, anyway, all that to say—you know, actually, I wrote myself some notes, sorry, give me a second…” 

He fumbled with something in the pocket of his chinos as Achilles smothered another smile. 

“This really makes me look like a nerd doesn’t it, but I just wanted to make sure I was… clear. About things. And didn’t forget anything, you know, especially after how stupid I was this morning. So if you could, um, maybe listen for a bit?” 

Achilles gave a smooth, little nod that managed not to betray the twitch that had returned to his limbs. “For sure. The floor’s all yours.” 

Alex grimaced and, taking a deep breath, unfolded a rather wrinkled piece of notebook paper and began to read aloud in a rather toneless, slow and slightly stuttered recitation. 

“When we first met, I was instantly drawn to you. And it wasn’t just because I was your number one fan.” He glanced up. “Ha.” Eyes dropped abruptly back down to the page as he continued. 

“I think a part of me knew we were destined to be great friends. And I was really happy when we actually did become friends. I had never had a friend like you. You were so smart and cool and you made me feel like I could actually do things with my life. I really liked spending time with you.

“And then during the blizzard, I…” The paper between Alex’s hands began to crinkle as his grip tightened ever so slightly, but he continued to stare, laser focused, on the scribbled words. “Well I started thinking that maybe I liked you as… more than a friend. It was confusing. I kept telling myself, ‘You can’t have these feelings for another guy.’ I mean, I’d never had feeling like this for anyone.

“But I thought about it a lot. Went back and forth a lot trying to decide, I was going crazy, really. And, well. I think I really like you. Like that. And that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date to—what? Oh. I think I spelled ‘tonight’ wrong. Agh, stupid. Okay, anyway. And that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date tonight.” 

With a bit of a sniff, Alex folded the paper back into quarters and gave Achilles a rather awkward, teeth-baring attempt at a smile. It was the most unflattering he had ever looked, in Achilles’ opinion, and somehow that made it all the better. Alex patted his folded notes and ended with a little nod. “Well. That’s it.” 

During the blizzard… 

So this had been a much more recent realization than Achilles had originally believed. 

Thank Yoba you didn’t make a move earlier. 

Had it really just been the kiss on the Mullner’s front porch? It had barely been a kiss—couldn’t have been less romantic if he’d tried. Was that really all it had taken to ignite this? He’d taken barely three days to think this through. Though, then again, he supposed Alex had always been the more impulsive one between them… Not everyone spends a whole week anguishing over pros and cons lists, you dumb bitch. 

“What was the turning point?” Achilles asked as Alex shoved the scrap of paper back into his pocket. “I’m just curious. These past few days, what made you ultimately decide that you… wanted this?” 

“Oh. During the storm.” Alex shoved the scrap of paper back into his pocket. “I don’t know, I guess I just realized… I don’t know. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it would’ve been to have been snowbound with you.” 

*****

After it became clear to Alex that Achilles was not going to escape out the back door of the saloon after hearing Alex’s prepared remarks, his usual optimistic countenance quickly returned. By the time the two dug into their dinners, they had managed to roll back into their usual groove, chatting and laughing with familiar ease all through dessert until Emily returned with the check. 

“Oh, I’ve got it—”

“Like hell you do—”

“I was the one who asked you out, I should pay—”

“Emily, give me the check or I’m never coming here again—”

“That’s an empty threat if I’ve ever heard one, the only thing you cook yourself is a boiled egg.”

Emily seemed to agree. She hip checked Achilles’s outstretched hand and, with a rather hyena-like cackle, seized Alex’s card before dodging Achilles once again on her way out. 

“You know, the Handbook says it’s proper for the man to always pay,” Alex said, snootily tossing his napkin onto his plate with a raised pinkie. “Now I don’t know what that means for us, exactly, but at least let me have this one, will you?” 

Achilles rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest as he craned his neck in search of nothing. “The napkin’s actually supposed to go on the left when you’re finished with your meal, but never mind that. Where’s Gus? Can someone get Gus? I want a violin serenade pronto.” 

*****

Haley had disappeared by the time the two emerged from the private room, but Achilles, who had eyes for only one person, didn’t notice her absence. Neither did he notice the thick clumps of snow now falling under the glow of the moon, even as Alex held open for him the Stardrop’s front door and said, “Want to take a walk? It’s not too late, I don’t think.” 

“Sure,” Achilles said with a soft smile. The bouquet Alex had gifted him was in one hand, and he tightened his scarf with the other as he stepped out into the cold. “Just a walk, though? Not a run?” 

“Oh, you want to run?” 

Without waiting for a response, Alex tore down the cobblestone path to the south. 

“Fuck—Al, you’re going to slip and break your neck—fucking athletes, I knew I’d sworn them off for a reason—“ 

But the wind covered his calls and his muttered curses, and he had no choice but to hurtle after Alex, laughing even as he skidded past a bewildered Lewis. He hadn’t jogged in a fat minute—not that he likely would’ve caught up to Alex anyway at his peak back in the Fall—but even despite the cold, he gave a merry chase, sprinting across the bridge until his foot found the soft, squishy crunch of slushy sand. There was snow on the beach. Of course there was—we just had a blizzard, you dolt. 

But even so, the strange sight came a surprise. He stopped to take in the cool glow of the snow, a white sheet stretching all the way down to the waves up ahead. It wasn’t deep, but the dampness still managed to seep through his boots. 

Luckily, the rest of him was all warmed up now, thanks to their mile race through Pelican Town. Whether that had actually been Alex’s intention, nervous energy, or the man just couldn’t help but exercise whenever given the opportunity, he wasn’t quite sure. Regardless, with a bit of a wheeze, he sidled up next to where Alex (who was infuriatingly not out of breath) stood waiting by Elliott’s cabin. The light was on, casting both arrivers in its mellow beam, but if the writer had noticed their arrival, he took care not to disturb them. 

“Can I, um… can I hold your hand?” 

“Hmm?” Achilles, who was still slightly bent at the waist catching his breath, glanced rather pitifully up at the green-clad figure above. 

“I just… I just figured it’d make the whole thing feel a little bit more like a date,” Alex, slightly red, said with the barest hint of a shrug. “I don’t know, sorry, is that weird? We don’t have to. It’s just that… it’s just  kinda felt like we’ve been… hanging out.” 

“We are hanging out,” Achilles said, slowly straightening himself up. “I mean, if we break it down, that’s basically what a date is, right?” 

“I guess…” 

Achilles had never exactly loved the concept of holding hands—he sweat too easily and it threw off his stride—but off of Alex’s blink-and-you-missed-it frown, he weaved his arm through Alex’s and led him towards the boardwalk.

Remember what Elliott said… 

Physical touch was never Achilles’ forte. It’s not that he disliked it. Quite the contrary (well, as long as it was in private). It was simply that non-sexual touch didn’t come as naturally to him as it did for others. Often more of an afterthought than something top of mind. But, as Elliott had reminded him, Alex, who greeted his friends with a hug nearly as often as he did a wave, would likely find more validation in something beyond the mere time they were spending together.

“Would you like to sit down?” Alex kicked a clump of snow off the wooden planks and into the water before laying down his coat and chuckling. “Shoot, I really feel like I’m 13. Yoba, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry, I promise, I’ve been on a lot of dates before—”

“Wow, we’ve got a veritable Casanova out here, everyone—”

“All right, that didn’t come out right, you know what I meant. Although I don’t really know what you meant just now—” 

“You’re a big baller.” 

“Okay, okay, no, I just… look, I just don’t know what to do. With you.” 

“A thing like that. You know how to make a boy feel special. What does the Handbook recommend?” 

Alex began to tick off his fingers as he huddled slightly closer to Achilles on the boardwalk. “Well we’ve had the dinner. I got you flowers. Pulled out your chair. Paid. Asked if we could hold hands. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but later I’m going to offer to walk you home if you must know.” 

“That’s adorable—you’re adorable—has anyone on your numerous dates before ever told you that?” 

“Man, I could beat you up.” 

“Why are you always threatening to beat me up?”

“Wasn’t it you who once said that every child deserves to get bullied just a little bit or something?” 

“Are you calling me a child?”  

“Man, I’m just making up for lost time, you don’t seem like someone who got shoved into a locker enough as a kid.” 

Despite the confidence in Alex’s quip, Achilles could feel the tension in the tightened muscles of his arm. The small space Alex had left between them had felt purposeful—tentative. Even now, Achilles watched as his hands fluttered from place to place, as if eager for something to hold, but too afraid to commit. 

Realizing it would be up to him to reassure a flustered Alex out of his hesitation, Achilles closed the gap, tightening the grip around his bicep and tucking his head onto his shoulder. The whole thing was admittedly rather stiff in its deliberateness, but as he better settled into the crook of Alex’s neck—felt Alex, who seemed to recognized the permission Achilles had silently granted, now reach eagerly for his hand—and inhaled the rich, velvety scent of vanilla, he believed there wasn’t a spot in the world he’d rather be. 

Minutes passed, and they listened to the waves crash against the shore. 

“Do you think Elliott’ll stay in the valley? If his book gets published?” 

“Hmm.” Achilles stirred—shit, had he nearly fallen asleep? Can’t fall asleep in your own damn bed, but everything’s always fine and dandy and soothing out here on this damp ass wood. What’s this boardwalk got on you?

Though maybe it wasn’t the boardwalk’s doing. 

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to think so. I hope he buys himself a better house at any rate… or at least a second chair…” 

“Have you been writing?” 

“Mmm. Not in the way you’re asking. Does it count if it’s in my head?” 

“I don’t see why not. But hey, I don’t make the rules.”  

Achilles sighed and lay slowly down, his back against the boardwalk as he gazed up at the stars. Alex followed, though he chose to lie on his side, one arm beneath his head, the other resting atop Achilles’ chest as his hand continued to grip Achilles’. 

“I’ve got an idea. Well, it’s the same idea I had before, if you remember those pages you snooped a look at when you were cleaning my house… I’ve got it pretty much outlined in my head and everything, it’s just… well you know. I want it to mean something. I want it to matter, I want to finally write something… more than all those kid books I wrote when I was younger, those were so simple, so… stupid. I just don’t know why it’s so fucking hard.” 

The stars twinkled above them, and Alex thumbed his hand. The soft touch, combined with the steady rhythm of the small movement, slowly sweetened the bitter hollow that seemed to have taken up semi-permanent residence in his chest. 

“Sometimes I think we’ve built up this idea that we have to always be, like, fighting for the things that we want. That if something isn’t hard then it must be wrong or, like… I don’t know. Not important.” Alex was tracing letters onto the back of Achilles’ hand now. “But I don’t know, maybe it’s the lazy bum part of me but sometimes—and I promise, I do mean sometimes, not all the time… but sometimes I do think things are easy because they’re the right thing to do.” 

Achilles turned his head. In the dark, Alex’s eyes were black, but under the glow of the moon, he could count the snowflakes on every lash. 

*****

“Well. Here it comes, drum roll please, everyone: can I walk you home?” Alex gave Achilles a hand as they rose from the boardwalk and didn’t let go as they exited the beach. 

“Only if you give me a copy of this Handbook later.” 

“I actually wonder if I do have a copy somewhere still… I don’t know, I’ve pretty much got it memorized at this point.”

“Because you’ve gone on so many dates.”

“Yeah, exactly. I was a real Casa—Cassiopeia? What did you say before?”

“Casanova? Wait, did you say Cassiopeia—fairly niche mythological reference—”

“What can I say, I’m full of surprises. Anyway, whatever, I was hot stuff before you got to know me, you know.” 

“Man, shut the fuck up, you were hot stuff even while I knew you, remember Abigail’s birthday party…” 

The two laughed as they made their way back to Strawberry Farms, taking the slightly longer route through Cindersap Forest, despite the cold and the late hour.

Alex walked him to the porch. The motion sensor lights Achilles had installed nearly a year ago had flickered on the moment they passed the shipping bin, and so they stood awash in the weak fluorescence of a buzzing overhead lamp. 

He was lingering—definitely lingering, biting his lip in typical Alex-fashion, his eyes dancing everywhere except Achilles’ face. And after a beat, Achilles—ever impatient—said, “All right, are you going to ask me if you can kiss me now?” 

Alex jumped—actually jumped. “Oh.” Between rapid blinks, he managed to stutter, “Do you want me to ask you?” 

“I—it was a joke.” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“It was a joke. You know, with the Handbook. I assumed you were just gearing up for Step 5 or whatever step we’ve reached…”  

“Oh. No, I’m not supposed to kiss anyone until the third date. Obviously. Anything sooner is impolite and im… dang, what was the other word… immoral? Is that a word? Yes. Immoral. Obviously.” 

“What?” Achilles stepped back, throwing a hand to his forehead in mock shock. “Fuck, so this whole time, my whole life—I’ve just been a slut? Shit, I always knew it—” 

Alex laughed, but, to Achilles’ surprise, took a small, shy step forward.  “Do you want me to ask you?” 

Taking a page from Alex’s book, Achilles found himself biting his own lip as he met Alex’s inscrutable gaze. “I—Yes.” 

A pause. And then, “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes.” 

In one step, Alex closed the remaining foot between them. His hands gripped the back of Achilles’ neck, and with a boldness he had been so hesitant to demonstrate earlier this evening, Alex cupped his face and kissed him. 

He tasted like vanilla and he tasted like gold and as Achilles let himself drown in the molten glow of his touch, he found he felt… happy. 

But the kiss didn’t last long—barely a second, really, for Alex’s lips had almost instantly parted upon impact in that wide-toothed grin of his, his tongue peeking out per usual—and the two of them quickly dissolved into laughter.  

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, still half-laughing as he leaned his forehead into Achilles’. “That was… really bad. I swear I’m better than that—”

“Yeah, all that practice being hot stuff and all—”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I was born so dang se—” 

“Stay the night.” But through the sleeves of a slightly-damp coat, he felt Alex stiffen, and so Achilles hurried to add, “We don’t have to do anything. I don’t expect anything. We can just talk. I just… I don’t want you to leave just yet.” 

Immediately, Alex slackened as a small but earnest smile returned to his face. 

“Ok.” 

*****

Achilles put on some late night tea as Alex took a seat in the kitchen, Voltaire already snuggled in his lap. 

Over the course of the blizzard, Achilles had finally moved the typewriter from where it had been sitting, like a monument to all his shortcomings, untouched upon the table. Not that he’d gotten around to taking it out of the box—it was now sitting underneath his desk, still packaged—but, hey, small steps.

Sitting in the center of the kitchen table now were a dozen white roses and goldenrod blooms in Achilles’ favorite (well, only remaining) vase.

“I can boil you an egg, too, if you’d like,” Achilles said, lips twitching as he slid over a cup of chamomile tea and a tray of strawberry scones he’d purchased from Pierre’s that afternoon.

“Ya know what, that sounds great, but I’m actually good. But thanks.” 

It was easy—so easy to just sit here, together. He shouldn’t have expected anything less. It had always been easy with Alex. 

They sat across the table from each other. Perhaps if Achilles had remembered Elliott’s advice, had been a little bit more thoughtful of a person, he would’ve moved closer—held Alex’s hand again, maybe bump his knee with his own. But in the moment, he was too drunk on his own happiness to give Alex’s prospective wants the consideration they likely should’ve deserved. 

The scones and tea had long disappeared, but the two were eager to use any excuse to prolong the end of the evening—from walking through the schedule for Elliott’s book reading tomorrow to dissecting the latest season of The Bachelor (which neither of them actually watched, yet both were somehow still in the know), it wasn’t until the clock struck midnight that Achilles, in begrudging acknowledgment that any further delays would throw off his finely tuned sleeping schedule, slapped the table and stood.

“Well. I’ve got some extra toothbrushes and some clothes you can borrow, if that works for you. Ready to call it a night?” 

*****

What is wrong with you. 

It was Alex who was in the shower right now, but it was Achilles’ good mood that seemed to be dripping down the drain. 

God, why can’t you just enjoy things, you bastard. 

Surely he deserved to be happy, even if just a little bit, right? Yes, surely being happy was allowed. Then why was it now feeling like some sort of… betrayal? 

Fuck, who is there even to betray, bitch? Get yourself together. No one wants to date a grump. 

He needed to be better. Alex deserved better. Alex, who was like light and like stars. Alex, who was turning out to be everything and more than what he ever had hoped to imagine. He could be better, if this stupid ass mood of his would just go away. 

Where did you even come from? Get out and mind your own damn business and let me be happy for once.

Lost in thought, he didn’t notice the water shutting off—neither did he hear Alex call his name as he stood sourly against the wall of his bedroom, half-dressed, still trying to duke it out with his own brain. 

“Achilles? What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” He snapped his head towards the voice. 

“You’re thinking about something.” Alex had emerged from the bathroom wearing a set of sweatpants and an old t shirt Achilles had found at the back of a drawer. “I can see it on your face, what is it?” 

“Mmm.” Achilles massaged the bridge of his nose and set a glass of water down by the nightstand before opening the top drawer to retrieve something small. “Nothing I haven’t already thought pretty much to death.” 

Alex cocked his head, a knowing look on his face as he padded around the bed to take a seat behind the desk. “Want to think about it to death with me?” 

“I— No.”

“You sure?” 

Achilles uncrossed his arm only to cross them again. “I mean, we’re on a date…” 

“Sure, but we’re still friends, aren’t we?”   

Fuck. 

Always with the patience of a saint. He didn’t deserve him—hell, was there anyone on this planet who deserved him? And strangely, with this thought, as quickly as his mood had come did it fade. Maybe it was true that nobody deserved Alex, but for some unbelievable reason Alex wanted him, and he trusted Alex’s judgement, so hey, who was Achilles to deprive him of that? 

“It’s fine. Really. Like I told you before, it comes and goes…. Here.” Achilles held out his hand, dropping the item he’d retrieved from his nightstand into Alex’s open palm. “This is yours. Held onto it for awhile there, didn’t I. Sorry about that.”

“Oh! Yes, thank you!” Alex rested his arm across his leg to better clasp the thin leather watch around his wrist. “Wow, I totally forgot—I guess you should probably take yours back, too, here—”

But before he could remove the smart watch, Achilles bent to snatch Alex’s wrist, holding his arm up tightly between them. The sharp movement triggered a rather equally sharp intake of breath from the watch-wearer, but Achilles pretended not to notice, biting back his smirk as he glanced at the steps recorded on the watch face—a higher number than he was used to seeing, that was for sure, even with all his jogs.  

“Mmm. Actually. You want to keep it? You’re probably getting more use out of it than I did.” 

“Oh no, that’s all right—”

“I’m not sure if this one’s waterproof, though… have you tried swimming with it?”

“Oh. Maybe? I don’t really remember taking it off. Sorry, was that bad?” 

“Eh.” Achilles, his fingers still splayed taught around Alex’s wrist, unclasped the watch and chucked it behind him where it fell about a foot short of the nightstand.

“Good aim.” 

“I’ll get you a newer one.” 

“Achilles, no, stop, man, you don’t have to do that—”

“Shh, no, no, just let me buy you things, what else am I good for?” 

But he said the words with a lazy smile, and after running his hand through his hair, bent to retrieve the smart watch from the floor. 

When he turned back from the nightstand, he noticed Alex watching him with a curious, wide-eyed innocence quite at odds with the subject of his stare. Mirroring the characteristic tilt of Alex’s own head, Achilles, his lips twitching as he held in a laugh, slowly knelt until he finally caught Alex’s eye. 

The man immediately flushed scarlet, shutting his slightly parted mouth with a snap as he turned quickly away from Achilles’ unclothed chest. “Ah—sorry.” 

“For what? Making me feel good about myself?” Achilles chuckled, straightening back to full height. “Although you’ve watched me swim a million times, you should know there’s nothing nearly as impressive to look at as what you see in the mirror every damn day—”

“Stop that.” Alex aimed a light kick before jumping up from the chair and joining him by the nightstand. “I think you’re perfect, you know.” 

“Aw, Alexander, aren’t you just the swe—”

“Just physically, of course. There’s still some work to do up here.” He tapped Achilles’ forehead. 

“All right, bitch—” 

But he silenced Achilles with a hand to his chest—except that wasn’t quite it, was it?

Fuck. 

He could feel his body heat—or maybe it was his own body that was suddenly beginning to blaze. From anticipation? From impatience? For Alex’s actual hand was hovering just barely a centimeter above his skin. 

Dammit, just touch me, Alex. 

But before he could speak, Alex, his voice wavering slightly, murmured, “Can I?”

Always so damn polite. 

“Yes.” 

He wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn’t for Alex to reach first for his hand, tracing each of Achilles’ fingers, the lines of his palm, slowly, as if savoring each divot and crease. It was, if he was honest, a little strange, but he said nothing, only breathed, ragged and rough, as Alex’s own fingers traveled up to his wrist, up his forearm, to his bicep where they lightly circled the band tattooed on his skin. 

Achilles closed his eyes. Relished the callused touch upon his collarbone that burned even with the lightest brush. Gentle. Everything so gentle. 

One hand slipped to his lower back, and Alex’s touch on his bare skin sent a quiver through his body—he felt Alex pull him closer, felt him rest his forehead against his own. His breath was warm, but smelled faintly of peppermint. 

Alex’s thumb parted his lips with a tenderness Achilles had never before allowed himself. 

“Can I try again?” The whisper tickled his ear and a velvet thrill itched his heart. “I promise it’ll be better this time.” 

Achilles nodded. 

And yet, despite it being his own ask, Alex’s hesitance seemed to have returned. A delicate, trembling sigh seemed to be serving as the entr’acte before this second at, and so it was Achilles this time who closed the gap. 

Perhaps he should’ve been gentle, perhaps he should’ve been polite, but he wanted it and he had wanted it and Alex was here, asking for it— 

Utterly helpless, a moth to Alex’s flame. Yet it was Achilles who pulled him in with the hunger of a dying fire and kissed him as if he were oxygen, like he was fuel. Electricity sparked through every vein as his hands raked through still-damp hair, along his neck, his shoulders, muscles taut and tight and touching him back—it was rash and reckless, and surely it was right—

But something nagging at the back of his mind managed to pierce through his desperate desire, and, not without difficulty, Achilles pulled himself away. To give himself a second to better regain control of himself, to give Alex a second to better decide—

Are you sure you want this, too? 

He slowed his breathing, let his hands drop from Alex’s hips. Prepared for the worst. 

Was I too fast? Too rough? Too much? 

For the first time, he found himself unable to meet Alex’s emerald gaze—that precise shade of green had, at some point, become synonymous for safety, so why was he suddenly so afraid? 

He could feel Alex watching him, though his own eyes he kept glued to the ground. Achilles had never felt so scrutinized. So small. 

Then, a hand on his neck. A finger resting below his ear, a thumb along his jaw. And Achilles was brought back to Spirit’s Eve. The first time Alex had kissed him. Had all been a character for Alex back then, a costume. How far had they come… 

Alex slowly lifted his chin and asked in a voice, soft and tentative, “Is… is that what you like?” 

“I—what? Yes, wh—Alex, what do you like—”

But Alex cut him off—seized him, kissed him, frenetic and greedy and deep and hard, and Achilles was set aglow. He pushed Alex towards the bed. Shoved him—not unkindly—down atop the duvet, straddled him and lifted his face up to better meet his own. His hands tugged at Alex’s shirt—god, just get that off—he wanted to feel him, more of him, all of him, he was burning, and wanting, and he very nearly got his wish—shirt halfway off, one hand clinging to the bare hollow of his back—until he was shoved unceremoniously off Alex’s lap and onto the floor. 

“What the fuck—”

“Shit—sorry—I’m sorry, I—fuck—” 

Achilles—ricocheting between irked and concerned—stumbled to his feet, cheeks red, and managed to spit out only one word whilst retrieving the pieces of his pride. “What?” 

He took a pause before following Alex’s avoidant gaze down to his lap, where Alex’s hands lay stiffly between his legs. 

“Oh.” Achilles wiped some imaginary dust off his hands as he pushed aside any lingering embarrassment. “Don’t apologize. You know, I, in fact, actually have a penis, too. I get it, it happens.” Wow! Great job not being awkward! Fucking idiot. But upon seeing Alex’s continued discomfort, he added in a less lighthearted tone, “I meant what I said earlier, Al, we don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” 

“Can—actually, can we talk?” 

“Of course. That’s why I invited you over, right? To talk. It was you who seduced me, you wench. Here.” He pinched his nose—can’t you sound normal just once in your life—and tossed Alex an extra pillow after pulling back the sheets. “We can… put that between us if you’d like, just… give me a second…” 

Achilles usually slept in just a pair of boxers, but after this most recent turn of events, he thought it best to head to the closet for a t shirt. His instincts were validated upon his return—Alex had indeed set the pillow in the middle of the bed, and was now clutching it like a life line. 

He paused, one hand on the corner of the covers. “I— I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I can actually sleep on the couch if you’d like. I’m sorry, I should’ve—”

“No. No, no, no, that’s not it at all, no, it’s, um. It’s something else. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry. It’s… well, it’s me. I’m the problem.” 

“Now don’t say that…” Achilles slipped slowly beneath the duvet, taking care not to accidentally touch as he gave both Alex and the pillow quite a wide berth. He lay on his back, as he usually did, hands folded across his chest. “Talk to me, Al. Floor is yours.”

He had left his bedside lamp on—it was a rather dim glow, usually reserved for late night reading or the crossword if he was having particularly bad sleep troubles, but he could still make out Alex’s furrowed brow from atop the pillow between them. 

“I… um…” A small sigh. Achilles watched Alex rub his face before turning to face the ceiling, one hand still kneading his forehead. “I, um, well… I don’t think—no. I, um…” 

“Do you want me to turn the light off? Will that help?”  

“No, it’s fine. Leave it on, I… I want to see you.”

“Man, you’re not even looking at me.” 

Alex clicked his tongue and continued to stare at the ceiling, but Achilles caught the corners of his mouth turn up just the slightest bit. “Okay, okay, you got me there…”

“Mmhm.” 

“It’s just that… Well. I just…”

This was a mistake. He doesn’t like you like that. He doesn’t want you. 

“I think there’s something wrong with me.” 

Oh. 

Achilles waited for further explanation, but Alex seemed somewhat disinclined to say more, (though in the subsequent silence, Achilles could hear the slight scrape of what was likely aggressive teeth gnashing). After waiting a respectable two minutes for an elaboration, Achilles took it upon himself to lightly prod. “Is it because… you’re… bisexual—” 

“I don’t think I’m bi.” 

“Oh.” Oh. Achilles had masked his surprise quickly, but even so, perhaps it was a good thing Alex wasn’t looking at him. No need to make the guy even more self conscious. “Well. Allow me to be the first person to say there’s nothing wrong with being gay either, if that’s what it is—” 

“That’s not it, I don’t— well. No, I wanted to—You see, what happened was—I- I don’t… I…” 

Alex’s eyes were now full on closed, his hand rather zealously rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“I’ve had sex before. To be clear. Like a lot of sex. Oh god, why’d I say it like that.” 

“Ah.” Achilles couldn’t help but wince. “It… it would’ve been all right if you hadn’t… to be clear.” 

“I mean, not with a guy.” 

He responded smoothly. “Sure. I assumed.” 

Another sigh, though this one had the hint of a growl as Alex’s exasperation continued to balloon. “Shit. Shoot. This is—well this is obviously not going how I wanted it to— I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying, I just. I’m nervous. About what you’re going to say, and think, and… I just…” 

Fuck, Achilles just wanted to hold him—but the situation was nebulous, and so he instead held his own hands, still resting across his chest, tighter, and kept his voice even. “It’s just me, Al. Like you said earlier, we’re still friends. You can tell me whatever, I’m not going to judge.” 

“But you might.” 

“I won’t.” 

“But you might.” 

“Alexander—” 

“I just—Well. I’ve never been in love before.” 

Finally, Alex turned to face Achilles. He lay on his side, his arms still fiercely wrapped around the pillow, and his face remained troubled—brows knitted, his lower lip drawn between his teeth.

“I was, um, 12, 13 when I moved here. Showed up to middle school smack dab in the middle of term. I was the new kid with a dying mom. Made me interesting, I think. Everyone wanted to be my friend. You know how it is…

“What caught me off guard though, was how many girls wanted to be my friend. Or, I guess, more than my friend, but it was middle school so I mean, how real could a relationship actually be, right…”

It wasn’t hard to imagine a 12 year old Alex—chubbier cheeks, probably, but the same freckles, the same large green eyes and sunny disposition—combine that with a tragic backstory and New Kid Novelty, and it was easy to see why the girls at Meridian Middle School had flocked to him. 

“It was… weird. I didn’t like it. I didn’t understand what they wanted from me… or why.

“And I pretty quickly realized, well, everyone was either girl crazy or boy crazy or both. Not just girls. My guy friends, too. Man, that’s all folks spent lunch yapping on about, who had a crush on who and whatever. I just didn’t get it—man, I just wanted to talk about grid ball. I don’t know, it was like that part of puberty just… never hit me, I guess…

“But after awhile, I think I just kind of assumed that everyone felt the way I did, but you just…weren’t supposed to talk about it. 

“Like I somehow logic-ed it out in my head that your girlfriend was just your best friend who happened to be a girl. And going on dates and stuff, that was just part of having a girlfriend. Like how when you’re a kid you have play dates, when you have a girlfriend you have, well, just… dates. I mean didn’t you say earlier, a date’s basically just hanging out, right? Especially in middle school. It’s just all part of like this script you were supposed to follow—and I mean, it couldn’t have helped that I literally had a dating handbook from my grandpa that was giving me step by step directions, telling me specific things to do. 

“Well anyway… I kept feeling this way, even into high school. People stopped being so boy crazy and girl crazy and whatever then, and I stopped feeling so paranoid, stopped overthinking it.

“And then I dated Haley for two years. Everyone kept telling me to ask her out, so I figured I would. If everyone was saying we’d be perfect together, they must be right, right? She was my first serious relationship. 

“And dating her actually made me feel—well, better. Validated? Is validated the right word? I liked hanging out with her, she was already my best friend, but, I don’t know, she never seemed that into me in any sort of fancy romantic way, she never really wanted to make out or hook up or anything all that often, and I thought, okay so maybe all that stuff really is all just an act, just stuff for movies, maybe I was right all along.

“Of course, that all came crashing down after she told me she was gay. She kept going on about ‘attraction’ and how it wasn’t a me problem, that she didn’t feel that way about any guys at all, that it was girls she liked, and I remember just nodding along because, honestly, I was just confused. 

���I mean, what even is attraction? I’d never thought about that much, not until she was going on and on about it. But when she was describing it, I realized that there was… something else that I was supposed to be feeling. Something I was missing. But it’s hard, you know, like how do you know what it is you’re missing if you’ve never been able to feel it in the first place? 

“You know, side note, funnily enough, after she came out, I actually had a second there where I wondered if maybe I was gay, too. Haley had never had a crush on a guy, I’d never felt that way about a girl—whatever “that way” was supposed to be feel. But I thought about it for a bit and ended up deciding I’d never felt that way about a guy either. And I’d been around a whole lotta guys. Sports camp, swim team… nothing.

“So I figured, well, I went back to square one. Maybe this is just how everyone feels. Maybe I just hadn’t met the right girl, maybe I should just give it some time. Maybe I needed to loosen up. So I just kept going through the motions. Doing what I thought everyone my age was doing.

“I was just so caught up with trying to find or feel or whatever, trying to prove that I was normal. So even though I had a bunch of solid excuses to not care about it all—swimming. Making the Artemics team. My grandparents getting sick—I think a part of me was…. I don’t know. Desperate. To find that feeling that I’d been missing, find that person. So I just kept… you know. Going out on dates. And… other stuff. Just nonstop.” 

Alex seemed to be approaching the crux of his story now. He sucked in a deep breath between his teeth before turning away again while his hands abandoned the pillow to rest atop his own chest, fingers softly tapping between his rib cage. 

“I thought sex was like… you know. Just something you were supposed to do. Like… shaking someone’s hand when you meet them for the first time or… saying thank you when someone opens the door for you. Like it’s just expected you do it. Hold a girl’s hand. Kiss her. Have… sex with her. I didn’t realize people actually wanted… like really wanted to… do these things. Beyond it making the other person happy. Like, I didn’t realize people actually had the… urge to do it. If that makes any sense. 

“Like I remember in college, one of my friends, his girlfriend kept cheating on him and I just couldn’t understand why, you know? Like why was it so hard for her not to cheat? Like, what could you possibly be feeling that made you do that, like, what was the reason, why would you sabotage something so easily in your control? And for my friend—why was it so hard, just break up with her already. Like, why stay with someone who… isn’t treating you good?” 

There was a small pause, but rather than dwell on darker memories, Alex continued steadily on. 

“I know there’s probably more to it, but I guess I just didn’t understand that kind of love. That feeling of… being in love with someone. I had never felt it before. That is…” 

Achilles felt Alex stir under the covers, felt him shift his weight as he turned onto his side, peaked his head back above the pillow like a turtle to look at him, a small smile now on his face.“That is, until last week. With you.

“You’re the first person, Ash. And I don’t know why, I don’t know why it’s you—don’t get me wrong, I’m… I’m glad it is.” He laughed, and to Achilles’ surprise, he reached across the pillow for his hand. 

“And I see why now it took me so long to even realize there was something wrong with me, that I was missing something, because how could anyone have ever really described to me what this feels like? Attraction. Even now, feeling it now, it’s just… wow. It’s like friends. Like best friend, I don’t know. But… different. And I like it.” 

Alex’s tiny sigh of satisfaction sent Achilles heart beating faster, but the rate at which Alex’s remaining hand was tapping against his chest began to quicken as well, and his tone grew more serious. 

“But if I’m honest, I… Well. I still feel like a part of me is missing something. In regards to, well… well, just… sex. Like… wanting to have sex. 

“I don’t understand why, because I really really like you, I do, and I… well I really liked kissing you. And stuff. And I… well… well normally I spend the time trying not to think about how gross the whole concept of making out with someone kind of is, but for the first time in my life ever, I… I want to do it. Like want to do it. Again. I mean of course, only if you, I don’t know… ever want to do it with me again… Shit. I sound 12, don’t I? Yoba, listen to me, we’ve had one date, you might never want to see me again.” 

A rather sheepish smile—Alex ran his free hand through his hair. 

“I don’t get it, I don’t get why it feels different, you’d think it’d be the same thing, wanting to be close to someone, wanting to kiss someone, wanting to have sex with them, I don’t know. Wow, I don’t think I’ve said sex as many times in my life as I have just now. What a weird word. Ok, sorry, anyway, I don’t know why I feel one but not the other now. I don’t get it, there’s just… something wrong with me, I don’t know. 

“I know this probably doesn’t make much sense, because I’ve hooked up with lots of people before that that I didn’t feel anything for, but I just… because I like you, and because I… do want to be with you, I want to… I don’t know, I want to… want it with you. Like, I want it to feel better, more, I don’t know, purposeful, than all the other times. 

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that having sex was, like, traumatic or anything in the past—no one forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do—I mean, I never wanted to do it, but only in the sense that I never had, like, the urge to do it. I wanted to want it, but every time I did it, it just felt like… I don’t know. A chore. Yeah. It felt like a chore, and honestly, according to a lot of the girls I dated, I was pretty dang bad at it —for reasons that, you know, now make a lot more sense—until I learned how to, you know— actually, we don’t have to get into that—um, well—anyway, back to what I was saying—

“And, I don’t know, I’d stopped hooking up with people by the time I left school. Given up, I guess, just figured there was something wrong with me. And just thinking about sex in general now makes me kind of…anxious. And I don’t want it to feel like that with you, I don’t want to… bring that in there, if that makes sense. I want this to feel… different. 

“Shit, wow, I guess all of this to say… super long story just to ask I guess… to just… I guess what I’m asking is if we can… can we take it slow? Is that stupid to ask? Is that, like, super lame? At 25 years old? Or I guess 28 in your case… geez…”

It took a second before Achilles, still digesting everything Alex had shared, realized he’d been asked a question. It was those green eyes—blinking wide-eyed rather expectantly—that jolted him back to the present, and with a small jump, he rushed to respond with something more akin to a squeal, “Not at all!” But worried that his hasty and high-pitched response (ugh) suggested a sentiment something more to the contrary, Achilles hurried to grip Alex’s hand tighter and said more firmly, “We’ll go as slow as you want. Slow as you need.” 

The reassurance seemingly failed to land, as Alex turned slightly away. “I… I know sex is… important to a lot of people, and it’s stupid to ask you to wait, it’s not like there’s a good reason—”

“—Al, any reason is a good reason—”

“—and I don’t want you to wait if you don’t want to, I mean like, if you’re someone who likes sex and, well, wants it…” Alex trailed off, but watched Achilles intently as the latter reached slowly over the pillow to brush aside some of the hair that had fallen into his face. 

“I mean, I won’t lie, Al. Like, I like having sex.” Achilles snorted, moving his hand down, tracing the line of Alex’s jaw. So smooth… the man shaved religiously, a holdover habit now unlikely to be broken anytime soon with his return to the competitive swimming world. “But I like you more. I think.”

Alex laughed, placing his hand now over Achilles’ to cup his own face. 

“No, but in all seriousness, it’s fine. Thank you for telling me this.” 

“But are you really sure? You’re fine with waiting? I… I don’t know how long it’ll be. I wish I could give you a timeline, I mean I wish I could say for sure it’ll actually even happen, to be honest, I don’t even know, but then I again I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love, but I see now these are different, and I don’t want to overpromise something that may not ever actually—” 

“Al, seriously. It’s fine. I’ll wait forever as long as I’m waiting with you.” 

This time, Alex’s smile reached his eyes, igniting that glimmer of mischief. He gave Achilles’ hand a firm, final smack before turning onto his back once again. “Well… forever’s an awfully long time, I think at a certain point I’d just… well, you know.” He made a circle with his left thumb and pointer finger and began to slowly move his right index finger towards it before Achilles whacked his shoulder. 

“Boy, I swear to Yoba—”

But Alex cut him off with a surprise kiss on the cheek. There was a careless sweetness to it, and despite the comparative innocence of the gesture, Achilles immediately bloomed pink—but as Alex returned to lying down, letting himself collapse atop the pillow, there was one final furrow still striking his brow. 

“I just… are you… disappointed? Achilles?” 

“What?” 

“I know, I know, you said it’s fine, but I just… I just want to… I don’t know. Are you disappointed? In me? You’ll tell the truth, won’t you?” 

Achilles understood. The need to hear a specific set of words—the hunger for honesty alongside the anxious ache for approval. He kept it simple. “I’m not disappointed in you. And you could never disappoint me.” 

It was remarkable, the speed at which those words transformed him; like night and day, Alex was now beaming like a sunrise. With a jaunty little wriggle, he pulled the covers up to his chin. “Okay. I’ll stop being sad now. I’ve ruined your sleep schedule enough and you’ve got a big day tomorrow.” 

“Elliott’s got a big day tomorrow, I’ve got like, a medium day.” But even so, Achilles leaned over the nightstand to flick off the lamp. 

“Medium shmedium… good night, Ash.” 

The pillow still rested between them, but Achilles didn’t mind. He knew Alex was there, and he knew now for sure Alex wanted him. 

He wasn’t sure how long he spent replaying the evening in his head—perhaps Alex had already fallen asleep, it was, admittedly quite a lot to digest—but nevertheless, at some point Achilles found himself suddenly speaking into the darkness.  

“It’s a thing, you know. Asexuality. Aromanticism. There’s a spectrum for both, but it’s all…  valid. It’s all… real, for lack of a better word, what you’ve felt and not felt in the past. There’s nothing wrong with you.” 

#llnks #stardew alex #stardew fanfic #aspec fanfic #sdv fanfic #alex stardew #sdv alex #sdv oc #asexuality #ace positivity #sorry this was later than usual I am at urgent care lmfao

[brineffxiv]

This was a surprisingly pretty dungeon. Those golden fields you fly over astride a dragon to get to the final third especially.

We defeat Lunar Bahamut, and Tiamat and her children are free, finally.

The leader of the Amalj'aa comes to greet us and thank us for our assistance, and vows to make the proposed alliance work. Good. That's progress. His might only be one band of Amalj'aa, but they represent the first step.

But the tower still looms forebodingly, and inside it...

...Are imprisoned dozens of Amalj'aa, their bodies embedded in the walls. Which seem to be made of flesh. The floors also, are disturbingly meat-like. This reminds me both of the Mhachi Void Ark, and the Allagan Aetherochemical Research Facility.

Excuse me, are those teeth in that wall?!

Hey, uh... If the towers are made of flesh... are the towers themselves parts of a primal?? Like, a really huge primal? That spans the world... sort of like the Empire itself?

...Did.

Did Fandaniel make the Empire itself into a primal? Somehow?

Arenvald makes the mistake of trying to free one of the Amalj'aa, and sets off an alarm in the process. Which activates something that makes the Amalj'aa in the walls cry out and writhe in their prisons.

And then all the nerves (?) in the floor light up and...

...Summon Ifrit?? An Ifrit? Lunar Ifrit?

...

Ohhhh... Oh I just now got what was happening. The tower activated, and forced the Amalj'aa to summon their god. And, as we learn a few scenes later, since the Amalj'aa are tempered to Garlemald, so too is the primal they produce.

Arenvald jumps in front of Fordola, trying to protect her, and we cut to black.

Returning to Ul'dah we are met with news that Fordola saved Arenvald from the tower, but he is gravely injured. Alphinaud runs off to try and see him.

Arenvald is in a bad way, and Fordola has had quite enough of Alphinaud's idealism. There is nothing we can do to assist here, and must trust in the chirurgeons.

We meet with the Sultana and are filled in on the intelligence contained in Fordola's report. The towers are being filled with peoples of the beast tribes who, in their tempered state, are being utilized to summon forth primals in service to Garlemald. These primals are strange in that they don't seem to be able to temper people themselves?

Thancred is speaking of a "main" tower of sorts that they observed in Garlemald, and I am thinking of my earlier idea that the towers themselves are extensions of a very large primal. If the towers are like the limbs of a being, the main body of which is in Garlemald: the Empire itself is the primal. This implies that all the people in the Garlemald itself are now enslaved to its will. A will which is likely commanded by Zenos and Fandaniel.

Somehow.

I don't know how that would be done, but I cannot see either of them simply allowing a primal like that to act independently. Perhaps Zenos, as the acting head of Garlemald, is himself the focus of the devotion?

Or perhaps I am completely off base.

Multiple primals like Ifirit have been sighted, but, as they cannot temper, Nanamo wishes us to leave the Grand Companies to deal with them. She hopes, for the moment, to keep us in reserve.

For a scant bit of good news, the Amalj'aa have reached an agreement with Ul'dah.

Left to our own devices we resolve to return to the Rising Stones. With Estinien begrudgingly in tow. (Wow, look how many of us have white hair. What's up with that??)

Krile has decided we should petition the aid of the infamously reclusive nation of Sharlayan, and has already asked for and received permission from the Alliance to act as their Eorzean emissary.

This is not the only thing she shall be doing. While in Sharlayan, she will be looking into the exact nature of Hydaelyn's "blessing". And wants to know when the last time she spoke to me was.

The text prompts inform me that I heard from Hydaelyn at the end of the Dragonsong war, which I'll be honest, I don't remember. I'd have said during the fight with the Ultima Weapon.

Yes, and her failure to even speak to the Minfilias and Ryne is one of several bones I have to pick with our Crystal Mother.

She knows I sympathize with the Ascians and is punishing me for it.

Seriously though, if there is something preventing Her from speaking with us, I wonder what it could be that changed since when I last heard from Her?

Krile is, however, reluctant to leave the Scions less a member at such a critical time, and this is why she requested Estinien accompany us. She asks him, for apparently not the first time, to join the Scions.

And, after a truly touching speech about how inspiring we've been and the change we've effected, Estinien agrees. Wow, Estinien, you've come a long way from a minor antagonist/mentor in the Dragoon class quests.

Meanwhile, in the imperial palace in Garlemald, Zenos has been taking out his boredom on the floor. That is not a good place to store your blades Zenos, you're going to blunt all the edges that way.

He MAD.

Or. Can you even feel anger? Or is it just positive emotions you have trouble with?

That was a failure? I cannot fathom what it is you hoped to achieve... terrorizing some random Amalj'aa? Or were you hoping to capture more fodder for your primal-generating towers?

Oh yeah, there's definitely a scary-big primal in your basement or something.

Apparently, Zenos' new sword is a seeeecret as well. All the secrets.

#ffxiv liveblog #rhesh'a tag #alphinaud leveilleur #arenvald lentinus #fordola rem lupis #nanamo ul namo #thancred waters #krile baldesion #estinien varlineau #zenos yae galvus #zenos my friend my enemy #fandaniel #tiamat #baseless speculation #thoughts on lore

[chromotps]

You, answering my asks while sleep deprived: 👁👄👁

Me, sending asks, depriving myself of sleep: 👁👄👁

You suggesting the feather accessories made me think about Avian Hybrids!CoraLaw. Or, well, a Wings!AU.

- Cora has black swan wings and Doffy has flamingo wings (the only time I'll ever include this dude in my AUs. I avoid this mf cuz I'm starting to like him 😭). Idk what to give Law lmao–

- Cora's wings are huge. Like, 260cm/8'6ft. They're also waterproof, he uses them to cover the people from the rain.

- Law's wings are sensitive, so he doesn't like people touching them unless he gives them permission and consent to do so. Cora is an exception tho, Law even reaches out himself so Cora would touch them (No, Bepo isn't jealous. Of course he isn't.. whaaaat. He's totally okay with sharing his pseudo blanket with Cora..!!! That's a lie. Bepo is sulking in the corner while listening to Uta's songs).

- When it's Cora's time to moult in the summer, Law usually takes him flying when he wants/needs to. It's Law's favourite part of every summer, he gets to have Cora in his arms as he takes them flying. Law also helps toss out the old feathers, but some of them are gonna be used and turn into coats for the both of them.

- As you mentioned, feather accessories! I love those omg, thank you for suggesting them!! Cora has a single earring with Law's feather dangling from it. Law has a feather of Cora's attached to Kikoku and another as an earring.

- Law's wings are warmer than Cora's (that's the real reason why Bepo likes sleeping next to Law, trust me /j), so Cora likes to be the little spoon most of the time, just so he could feel Law's warm wings engulf him (they rarely spoon each other, they look like the type to sleep with their backs flat on the mattress). Law's wings are 210cm/6'10 ft, taller than himself when tucked in (Yes I did use the height comparison website on Google lmao).

(...Nah I'm not gonna give their wings width measurements, I'm too lazy for that and it's 5am)

- And because Cora's wings are huge, it makes him hard to stay balanced and upright. Falling means he starts panicking, panicking means his wings starts flailing, his wings flailing means knocking off whatever it is near him and slapping people in the face lol. He tries to tuck them in as close as possible.

I might expand this because I love it sm, but right now I ran out of ideas. You could add your own btw! My AUs are everyone's AUs xD. Enjoy and have a great day/night!

-S

!!!!! I miss Wing!AUs... They're so nostalgic...

(okay also total sidenote, I have the same thing with Doffy. I went from thinking he seemed cool when he was first introduced to being Big Mad at the sight of him, with him killing Cora and. all that. But I've grudgingly come back around to?? strangely liking him?? I just like when villains have a sense of style and totally commit to being completely unhinged... I'm still glad he got got, but he is a fun character. 😂)

I wish I knew more Bird Facts so I could give a suggestion for Law... all I can think of right now is some kind of hawk... ooo or maybe a vulture?

God, Law still being such a SIMP with his wings 😂 and letting Cora get near them.... (hahaha I see those Bepo cameos... man if I wasn't so down bad for Cora I would throw in more with the law/bepo crew. full respect there). Also Law putting a feather on Kikoku!!!!! Ohhhh the mental image of that is so good.... Like, Law subtly showing that Cora is part of the reason he fights....

Ahhh also thinking about Cora being so used to trying to make his wings as small as possible and not inconvenience anyone with them, but one time Law makes a point to take them somewhere with a wide, open space and ask to see them... Or Cora has to fly them somewhere for the first time while running from Marines/some group that's not worth staying and fighting. And Law is just!!! awed!! at the sight of them!!! I know clumsiness is part of Cora's charm, but based on that mission where he stole the op-op fruit, we know he can be really coordinated and stealthy when needed. So, like, when he finally makes full use of his wings, maybe he's one of the fastest/swiftest flyers Law has seen.

#sneaking into the tags to mention #i've seen/read.... a few dofucora/dofucoralaw fics n art #once again i'm picky tho and only like it when doffy is more like #well #more of a 'Rocinante it's you and me against the world don't you see' kind of guy #still an egomaniac but an egomaniac who cares about his brother #and just thinks his dear soft-hearted brother has lost his way for a bit and needs to be guided back #ohhhh and don't get me started on law being SO territorial in that scenario #hahahahah anyway #lawcora #headcanons

[mythicalcowboyatheart]

Just like Animals

Spencer Charnas x gn! reader

An: I just remembered I gave my irl friend my Tumblr and um if they find this I'm so sorry 🤣 anyway uhhh happy pride month

Warnings: smut! Smut! Smut! Oh ya more smut! Kinda sub Spencer

"oh my god, you are so hot" "so are you" you smile seductively. "I bet you're not wearing any panties right now. Am I correct?" "Yes your correct." He grabs your hand and puts it on his bulge. "do you feel how hard this makes you make me?" You start stroking him through his pants. his breathing becomes heavier and he moans louder "mmmh...keep doing that..baby" you start stroking him faster. He starts groaning in pleasure "mmhmmm...yes! Ohhh...ohhhhh...ohhhh...yeahhh...uhhhh...this feels sooo gooodddd....ughhh...ahhh...good boyyyy...muhh...ugghhh...mmmmh...good boy...ughhh..." You stroke him faster. you feel his body shake from the pleasure "ahhhhh...ahhhh...ahhhhhh...aahhhh...aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...mmmmmmm...good boy...ughhh...uhhhh...uhhhh...that's it...give me all your love baby...ughhh...uughhh..." "your such a good boy Spencer" you kiss up his jaw and plant a kiss on his mouth. he kisses back passionately "yeah...I'm a good boy...a really good boy...and you know why? Because you are so sweet and beautiful...you're everything I've ever wanted...thank you baby...for loving me like this...it means so much to me...ughhh...thank youuu..." You shush him "it's okay baby" you kiss him again. he wraps his arms around you pulling you close "thank you...so much...I don't deserve someone like you...you're amazing...you're perfect...thank you...for giving me everything I want...everything I need..." Your hand comes to a stop. "what's wrong baby...?" he looks at you with concern. You smile and get down on your knees you unbutton his pants.he watches nervously as you undo his pants "wh-what are you doing?" he blushes and is nervous but still tries to hide it. You pull down his boxers and place your hand around his length and look you in the eyes and smile "I'm giving you everything you ever wanted" you wink. "w-why would you do something like thi-thisssss?" his face turns redder than before. "because you have been such a good boy" you lick the top of his cock. he closes his eyes and sighs "y-yes..I have been a good boy...but I never thought you'd actually do this for me..." "of course I would baby" you begin to stroke his hard length "I would do anything for you" you give the tip of his cock a kiss before taking in your mouth and you begin to bob your head. he gasps loudly when he feels your lips wrap around him "ughh!" he grabs onto your hair tightly and leans his head back "that feels so good...don't stop...please don't stop..." You bob your head faster. he moans loudly and arches his back more "oohhh...that's right...just like that...don't stop...aahhhh...don't stop..." You reach your hand down and take his balls in to your hand and begin to massage them. he lets out another loud moan and grips your hair tighter "t-this feels incredible...don't stop...please...don't stop..." Your movements be come faster. he groans loudly and begins to thrust his hips forward into your mouth he pulls your hair harder and keeps going. You moan around his cock.he looks at you with lustful eyes and grunts "mmmmmm...yessss...keep going...make me cum..." You move your head faster. he holds on tight and bucks his hips up and down, moaning loudly and He cums all over your tongue. You swallow his cum "such a good boy Spencer" he lays there panting and smiling widely "thank you...thank you...you're amazing." "any thing for you baby"he plans a kiss on the top of your head. "I love you Spence" "I love you too" he hugs you close and kisses your cheek. "You up for a round two?" You smile and wink.

An: I might write a part two If any ones interested ☺️ this was my first real attempt at smut so I hope I did all right

Edit: heres part 2

#spencer charnas #ice nine kills #spencer charnas smut #spencer charnas x reader #Spotify

[monster-connoisseur]

The Bros™ reaction to a mutated!GN reader (Red Fox edition)

Rating: Fluffy

LEONARDO

- Stunned

- Other mutants?

- You look so soft..

- Probably wont ask to touch you until he gets to know you better

- Studies you, lowkey turns into Donnie

- Once he trusts you (and you trust him) oh boy

- Soft, gentle touches whenever he passes you

- Asks to cuddle you

- He (and his brothers) are often cooler than most (since they’re, y’know, cold-blooded)

- You’re just so warm

- And soft

- And so, so, sooooo warm

- Says that’s the only reason he wants to cuddle

- He is a LIAR

- Plays with your ears while you cuddle ):<

- If you are at all trained in martial arts, he is TOTALLY asking to train with you

- Goes easy at first

- “Just like that! You’re a natural!”

- Until you whoop him

- If you’re not, he is more than happy to help you learn a bit!!!

- If you were a gymnast of sorts, he wants to watch all the cool stunts and stuff you can do.

- Finds your (even natural, given you’re a fox) agility, SOOO cool and attractive.

DONATELLO

- He is in SHOCK

- Get ready for SO many questions

- He WILL ask to study you

- Wants to feel your fur asap

- Will feel your tail

- And your ears

- And your nose

- HE WILL BOOP YOU ):<

- And your paw pads

- Does a checkup on you to see if you’re healthy

- Even if you insist you are

- Also likes to cuddle

- But a bit nervous to initiate it

- “You’re warm blooded.. must be nice during winter-time. Me and my brothers get very cold. Come to think, don’t you find it a little chilly right now?”

- Mid-summer.

- Smooth. As usual.

- Says its for his studies

- Another LIAR

- Loves to play with your tail

- Will help brush you!!!

- Mainly helps with the parts you might have troubles reaching.

RAPHAEL

- Oh god

- He suddenly feels the urge to protect you

- Like so protective

- Even if you are stronger than him???

- Lowkey wants to pet you

- Expect head pats

- So many head pats from this sweet man

- Bumps into you on purpose

- “Oops, sorry, ‘m just too big”

- LIAR! (A trend?)

- Its an excuse to feel your fur.

- LOOOOVES when you curl up on top of his plastron for cuddles.

- Literally so small?

- How did you curl up like that????

- Pets your head when you cuddle

- Thinks it’s a lil funny when you try to big-spoon him.

- He applauds your effort.

- Like a lil backpack

- A soft, warm.. fluffy backpack.

- Also finds your agility attractive.

- Also, more headpats.

- Cant get enough of em.

- You’re red too. Sure, it’s your natural fur colour, but he cant help but feel like its.. destiny or smth..

MICHELANGELO

- Oh man

- OHHHH MAN

- He is RUNNING at you

- CHARGING

- He’s gonna ask first, but he is so excited to pet you

- You look so soft.. so sweet.. kinda tiny,,

- Rubs your ears, pats your tail, pets you head to toe.

- Totally plays with your toe beans ):<

- Asks to braid your fur 💀

- Will try, even if its not that long.

- Loves being cuddled

- Loves cuddling you

- Will ask, directly at that

- Finally an honest brother ):< /j

- Tries to show off.

- Does a flip

- But if you can do one???

- DUDE

- Loves watching your tail move?

- Its just so natural.

- Blows on your face to wake you up??? ):<

- Laughs it off tho

- Finds it SO funny when you sneeze.

- Back to the cuddles

- He wants em

- 24/7

- If you’re gaming together? You’re in his lap.

- Sleeping? Literally no room to breathe.

- No matter what, he wants cuddles.

- Asks to dye your fur too LOL

- Makes Donnie make sure its safe for your fur first tho.

- “How do you feel about adding some orange to your look, angelcakes?”

- Zero method to his madness.

#tmnt 2k12 #tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt blog #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2k7 #tmnt leonardo #leonardo #tmnt donatello #donatello #tmnt raphael #raphael #tmnt michelangelo #michelangelo #mutated reader #fox reader #red fox #wrote this at one in the morning #tmnt fandom #rise of the tmnt #tmnt headcanons

[llycaons]

final ch lb reposted bc it's not showing up in the tags???

AUGH THE CHAPTER IS CALLED DUNGEON MESHI. it's simple but I love it when they do that. perfect for dm, which is pared-down in themes but applies itself perfectly to what it wants to say

wow, damn, guess that makes sense, it's so amazing that laios brought so many people together with the simple promise of something that unites all living things - nourishment - and they in turn brought their own food to add to the communal pot. I would have liked to see more exploration of this community-building through food, but this is literally one of the only things I would change about dm it's so impeccable crafted

damn marcille

JESUS LAIOS

aw man, that's genuinely an awful thing to live with. this might be a happy ending, but laios lives with the consequences of his defeat of the demon

this is an actual medical condition too...people can get really sick

celebratory panel!!! ofc senshi is stoic (though without ever being unkind! he's unruffled without being cold) and izu doesn't rly care

sorry but 👀

THIS IS SO FUNNY. senshi being like 'I'm politely staying out of this' and everyone else being like 'yeah there's no way he's that selfless'

damn, what a step for marcille, who was so terrified of losing the people close to her

she's so hot here ugh

OHHH this visual is so cool

mmm tasty! her face says hehe she's so cute I missed her so bad. real babygirl material

yayy!!! and standing up suddenly able to walk, and TAKING the dragon with her??? that's so cute like a little plush

it would have been an interesting ending for her to maybe not recover the use of her legs? ending the story with a disability wouldn't have been a tragedy, and it's been done really well in other stories. like, I'm still me, this is a change that happened because of something I've been through, and it's something to adjust to and keep moving forward with. sorry to bring up tgcf here but sqx's storyline is truly so compelling like she DID that

SHES SO CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT. farlyn are you free friday I can take you to a movie and buy you dinner

really incredible how she's hot in one panel then charming in another then ravenous in the third. her range...

this is such lover behavior <3

AHHH SIBLING LOVE!!

marcille love!!! her legs lmao

😭😭😭 not many stories end this straightforwardly satisfyingly and honestly it's really really nice. a more bittersweet ending or a more 'mature' one might have had farlyn not come back at all a lesson abt death or w/e but fuck that!!

ohhhh sexy

STOP THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE!!! LOOK HOW HE'S SMILING. CRYING OVER THIS!!! character who barely know each other and have met like once before but will absolutely be friends for life. this might be my favorite panel in the chapter and maybe even series

PEACE AND LOVE ON THE PLANET EARTH

aww she's trying to reach out to izu. she's not someone who warms up to people easily but farlyn is just so lovable and sincere and weird that I can def see a friendship potentially for them

STOP STOP THIS IS SO CUTE. im so glad farlyn didn't get paired off or even god forbid MARRIED to that guy who likes her can you fucking imagine. maybe farcille isn't confirmed but they're real in our hearts and nothing disproves them

damn, pizza? I don't remember that

of course she does!!! she's outgoing and adventurous and loves to eat!

you know this story wouldn't have worked half as well if farlyn wasn't legitimately a charming and lovable character who was easy to get attached to and root for. if they tried going the jerk with a heart of gold route, it would have taken a lot longer and been harder to create sympathy for her. like how cql's appeal rests disproportionately on you liking and rooting for wwx, dungeon meshi's driving plot relied on you WANTING this woman to come back to life, to eat and see her friends and do her magic and get into her weird hobbies. and she's perfect! the writing doesn't rely on one cliched line or scene to get you to realize 'oh they're a good person despite their harsh exterior' to get you to root for her (even tho that's an underutilized technique for writing women), it just presents this oddball and lets you love her. rk is so good at writing women who feel like real people, it's a reason adore marcille - for her awkwardness, her judgement, her readiness to blow things up without thought. she's just a deeply uncool person who's very endearing

not to be a monarchist or anything but this is probably the best they could have gotten given the situation so I'm not going to complain too much. it's not like I read dm for in-depth and realistic political engagement

and this is like the easiest way to be a good leader. just care about your people getting the food they need. that's enough, really. I don't think laios is capable of much more anyway. it's not like he's a politican

also what does the succession line look like? I know he's not having a kid. omg kabru!! his face is so ajshdksad. and yayy marcille and farlyn staying to advise him together!!

oHHH SHIT. thesis statement of the series! also these babies are so fucking cute I can't deal. ik that one of them is a dog person but the other one??? is that an orc??? well take back what I said about just food being important. integration is happening here too - it's clear that laios's kingdom is welcoming of people like orcs who have historically been expelled from other places and violently targeted by other races. idk how he managed that but like, well done, laios!

you know I adore cql but it's such a relief to step into other stories that aren't quite so much about Good (TM ) in a vague and all-encompassing sense and also have characters who aren't laserfocused on one person and who you can envision making connections to and becoming close with other characters 😭 loving lwj is so hard sometimes loving farlyn is so easy always

#dunmeshi lb

[8-beats-per-minute]

‼️���️AHSOKA EP 5 SPOILERS‼️‼️‼️‼️

You have been warned

I have WAYYY too many feelings about this episode. Like omg??

I will try to make this as comprehensible as possible but it’s 11:30 and I’ve been up since 6 and I’m REALLY EXCITED

Okay RAPID FIRE

Huyang holding Sabines helmet was so sad and it felt like he was kind of mourning her and I swear I almost cried

(Technically last episode) Hera getting there BARELY too late made me so sad

THE WHOLE AHSOKA AND ANAKIN THING

THE BANTER “You look the same” “You look old” “Well that happens”

I LOVE THEMMMMM

Them fighting, Anakin sending her back to their first battle to go through everything

ALL THE CLONES

HER HOLDING THE HAND OF THE CLONE AND HIM HOLDING HER HAND BACK

I saw Rex in the corner of the screen and I was like OH MY GOD ITS REX LET HIM TALK PLEASEEEEE

I retained very little of that scene I was so focused on Rex

He had like 5 words BUT HE TALKED

HE DID IT

He didn’t take his helmet off BUT WE HEARD HIM TALK TO AHSOKA

AND IN THE CREDITS IT WAS CAPTAIN/COMMANDER REX

I actually had such an emotionally reaction to him being called commander. I was for a week but IT STILL HAPPENED

And most importantly Temuera Morrison as Rex FINALLY 😭

I CANNOT get over how young she looks. Like obviously we could tell in the animation in the first few seasons that she was young but she looked soooo much younger live action Mandolore compared to animated Mandolore. It hurt me. She’s so young.

AND THE FACT THAT WE GOT TO SEE LIVE ACTION MANDOLORE AND AHSOKA DESTORYING GROWN WARRIORS AT 17 😭😭

I love her

And the young Ahsoka actress (Ariana Greenblatt) was amazing all the love in the world to her ❤️❤️

THE FUCKING

SWITCHES

BETWEEN ANAKIN AND VADER

THAT LOOKED SO COOL

AND TERRIFYING

And Jacen. Being able to hear Ahsoka fighting??? AMAZING

The fact that Jacen saved her? I will never get over that.

BUT AHSOKA BEING UPSET THAT ANAKIN IS COMPARING HER TO HIM BECAUSE LOOK HOW HE TURNED OUT AND THEN HER HAVING THE YELLOW EYES??? AHHH

I can’t be 100% sure but I’m pretty sure the way she defeated Anakin is very similar to how she defeated the inquisitor in Tales of the Jedi. I could be reaching tho idk

And I have to mention it. Ahsoka without the headband in live action was a massive jump scare. I made like an actual noise and recoiled a bit lmao 😭😭

But her being like Jacen is here?? And the way he ran up to her and hugged her and she hugged him back you KNOW she’s auntie Ahsoka. She spent enough time around that kid to be that cool aunt that’s also a Jedi.

Her being ohhhh you heard me fighting huh? I know she already knew he was force sensitive (I mean come on he’s Kanans son) it she was like 😏😌😃

ALSO THAT KANAN FULL NAME DROP. I LOVE IT. THANK YOU

So the New Republic is like “yo you did a bad thing we’re coming to pick you up” and Hera’s like “aw shit really?”

Then AHSOKAS like “hey what if we used the thing that Ezra used to get IN THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE” amd Hera’s like “damn u right” so Ahsoka does her Jedi communication thing

AND JUST GOES IN THE MOUTH OF THE SPACE WHALE??? CAUSE WHY NOT I GUESS???

But yea

I love Carson with my whole heart he is everything to me

He’s like “I’m so ducking done with this but I know it’s the right thing so imma lie even tho I might get fired. Cause this new gov is kiiinda bs but it’s still okay. U go Hera u got this and I’ll always back u up” AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM!! I love Ahsoka but he’s #2 especially in this episode

So he’s like “lol look I wasn’t lying”

And I just have one lil question.

What happened to that whole thing where the purrgil were ship destroyers? Like that’s their whole introduction was in Rebels where everyone’s like “These things are dangerous they just wander and destroy ships don’t go near them that’s all they do”

And then Ezra (I think I don’t exactly remember) is like “actually they’re pretty smart. Also they use hidden hyperspace lanes to travel. So they’re actually pretty cool” and THAT was just a thing in like season 2 or something wayyy before the finale.

But now they’re just weaving their way through the ships??

I guess you could argue that Ahsoka was like “hey could you not” and/or the captains were moving the ships around the purrgil but still they’re known to be super destructive even if the ships try to avoid them?

Idk whatever not that important

I CANNOT PHYSICALLY WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK IM SO HYPED THIS WAS DEFINITELY THE BEST EPISODE SO FAR

I can’t wait to get an update on Sabine thooo

WE STILL HAVE 3 EPISODES LEFT THO THEY BETTER NOT DO THE FINALE EPISODE FLOP THAT KEEPS HAPPENING.

I SWEAR.

Anyways overall amazing episode I love seeing Ahsoka and Anakin banter and also fight and Jacen being force sensitive and Huyang and Carson AND HERA OF COURSE!! LOVE HER

Can’t wait for next week aaaaaaa

#I will never be able to fully express my excitement for this show #and my love for it #ahsoka show #ahsoka tano #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka headcannon #ahsoka #tcw ahsoka #ahsoka and the 501st #totj ahsoka #star wars #hera syndulla #Ahsoka episode 5 #sabine wren #huyang ahsoka #jacen syndulla #kanan jarrus #ezra bridger #star wars rebels #star wars the clone wars #sw tcw #the clone wars #tcw