#this man is a fucking contradiction in some absolutely fucked up gross way and it's killing me. wouldn't want him any other way tho

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

they just didn't have to write him as "a great philanthropist"; "a generous benefactor of the empire bay planetarium"; "frequent officer of the empire bay press guild"; "a frequent target of political slander and false arrest because of generosity towards the press"

and at the same time write him as the first of the others to organize drug trafficking; a man who tried to kill all his competitors; "a shady bastard, even for guys in this business"; "ruthless modernizer"; a man who secretly views his close friend as a liability; "the man who killed his own boss" to take his place

"few will moan moretti's passing" from the lost heaven's newspapers and there's nothing like that in the cut-out news reports about carlo's death

#like do you remember . “Micky the Crab” who was falcone's soldier and whom falcone eventually left to clean the fucking toilets #when the guy lost almost all his fingers #and ofc i don't think this whole charade with charity and the press is sincere (can sense 100% money laundering w charity here) but #i think he still felt some appreciation for empire bay bc this city accepted & raised him instead of sicily #i believe that there were also good intentions with the planetarium and maybe other things #maybe not everything was just a money laundering #“your teeth are a gift from god u can sink them into anyone's flesh and call it an act of giving” this is what i mean #that fact that his fucking (ugly but still) MANSION is in a poor residential area it just feels like a slap #violently shaking carlo by his shoulders WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! (gets shot right after) #the fact that he had a reputation as a shady guy among the mafia and a reputation as a philanthropist in society . carlo. why r u like this #this man is a fucking contradiction in some absolutely fucked up gross way and it's killing me. wouldn't want him any other way tho #m2 #like can you imagine. if he actually felt warm towards empire bay. can you imagine if he was actually interested in making this place bette #but still organized the drug trade(which is objectively even worse than a racket) #love mixed with selfishness and violence and greed and and in the end it's creation mixed with destruction #sorry i can't get my thoughts into sentences that make sense all this week #but this contrast is killing me and i think about it a lot and i just wanted to put it together in a compilation

[alex51324]

Dead dove, do not eat

Here’s an idea for an Izzy fic that I’m not writing, because it is super-fucked up and being in the headspace necessary to write it, for long enough to write, it would be Bad For Me, but have been thinking about a lot.  

It’s season 2 (or post-season 2, whatever); Ed and Stede have made up and begun their happily ever after, and Ed goes to Izzy and is like, “You’re miserable on this ship, and we’re toxic for each other/have grown apart, so here, take the Queen Anne and the Blackbeard name and do your own thing.  I wish you well, & if we bump into each other again we should have a drink, but parting ways is obviously best for both of us.”

It’s a beautiful, heartfelt speech, probably incorporating some material about how Ed understands how Izzy feels about him, and he appreciates it even though he doesn’t feel the same way, and yeah, maybe he sometimes played off of Izzy’s feelings to get him to do stuff, which was a dick move of him, but he does genuinely value Izzy’s devotion for him, however, Izzy will be a lot happier if he can find somebody to give all that to who actually feels it back.  

And then Izzy is just, like, “No.”  

Ed:  “What?”

Izzy:  “No.  You promised that if I was loyal to you, I would be your First Mate forever, and forever ain’t up yet.  I’m not going anywhere.  Fuck the Queen Anne, fuck Blackbeard, fuck Bonnet; if you want me to leave your side, you’ll have to kill me.

Ed:  Izzy, come on, man. You’re being weird.

Izzy:  You fucking promised!  

And then he pulls the receipts on exactly when Ed made this promise and what they said, and Ed is like, OK, yeah, I remember that interaction, but.  Dude.  Have you ever heard of hyperbole?  

Izzy is losing his shit because Ed is saying that this solemn vow that he’s structured his entire life around didn’t mean anything, and he’s just yelling about how Ed promised and he (Izzy) swore an oath and Ed can’t just throw that away.

By now the whole crew has shown up to gawk, because Izzy is making a huge scene, and then someone (like 90% sure it’s Buttons) says, “Oh, Captain, I see what’s happened here.  When a (mythological creature I’d have to research or make up) makes an oath of loyalty to a mortal man, they are bound forever, for the (creature) gains a human soul and will accompany the mortal to his eternal destination.”

(There’s a lot more behind the cut; please be aware that it gets much more fucked up.  It’s theoretically possible that a story could go in a fluffy direction from here, but this is not that story.)

Ed:  Izzy isn’t a (creature).  (lengthy pause, turns to Izzy.)  Are you?

Izzy:  (says absolutely nothing)

Buttons:  If ye spurn him, Captain, he’ll have no choice but to seek you for the rest of his days.  He’s no life of his own, ye ken, now you’ve given him a soul. 

Izzy:  He’s right.  If you leave me somewhere, I’ll come after you. If you beat me and abandon me, I’ll come after you as soon as I have the strength to stand.  If you cut off my legs, I’ll crawl.  If you cut off all of my limbs, I’ll drag myself along with my tongue. 

Ed:  Mate, do you hear how unhinged you sound?

Izzy:  If you want to get rid of me, you’ll have to kill me.  With your own hands.

Buttons:  Aye, but Cap’n, if you do that, the soul you granted him will perish as well--and, some say, your own along with it.

Ed:  Izzy, you are a human being.  (he looks to Izzy for either conformation or contradiction, and gets neither)  I hear you saying that you don’t want to leave, but you’ll be fine.  Stop being--whatever this is.  It’s honestly gross and kind of scary. 

And Izzy is like, OK, fine, if you don’t want me here that badly, kill me.  If you don’t kill me, I belong here.  Those are the options that exist.  Pick one.  

There is a lengthy stalemate over this, lasting several chapters.  In the somewhat-less-fucked-up version, they keep leaving Izzy places (ports, random islands, dinghies in the middle of the ocean, etc.) in various ways (drunk, drugged, tied up, arrested, etc.) and he keeps coming back.  In the even-more-fucked-up version, Ed tries increasingly extreme measures to make “with him” a place that Izzy doesn’t want to be, ending up with outright torture. 

The longer it goes on, the more of the crew become convinced that Buttons’s explanation for the situation has to be right, for Izzy not to have left.  (In the more-fucked-up version, they aren’t fully aware of exactly what Ed’s doing, but they know it’s pretty bad.)  Some of them are collecting lore about (whatever type of creature they’ve decided Izzy is), and keep offering Ed suggestions for how to manage him that is this increasingly obvious and frankly disgusting cruelty.  The situation is obviously uncomfortable; no one want their ex hanging around being creepy while they’re setting up housekeeping with their new partner, but Ed was the one who made a soul-pact with a (whatever); and Izzy can’t help being one.  

And here’s the really fucked up part:  Eventually, it works.  Izzy wins. 

Ed un-chains him from the torture wall and treats his wounds and gives him something to eat and his clothes back, and once Izzy’s reasonably alert, he’s like, “Iz, I really, really, really need you to understand that none of this was a test; I genuinely and sincerely think that you could be happy if you just left and got over me, and I do not believe the soul-pact-thing, because it’s crazy.  But.  I can’t keep doing this.  And I can’t kill you, so if there’s nothing I can do to persuade you to leave, the only option left is to keep you here and try to love you.”  

And then he does.  (I told you it was fucked up.)  Ed puts as much effort into nursing Izzy back to health as he did to driving him away, and Izzy is slowly tamed from being a snarling, beaten, half-starved junkyard dog chained to the wall (which he always was, even before Ed actually chained him to the wall) into a cherished lap-dog.  He eats out of Ed’s hands, and sleeps curled up at the foot of Ed’s side of the bed.  He’s very clearly Ed’s, but he learns accept treats and pets from Stede, too.  Gradually, he’s allowed to take back some of his old duties, and he’s happy.  

The crew can see it: he’s calm, he’s pleasant to them, he’s goopily affectionate with Ed.  Buttons and the others who have appointed themselves experts on (whatever they think Izzy is) point out that this is what you’d expect from a (whatever) that is being properly cared for, and pretty much proves that he’s a (whatever).

(Maybe one member of the crew has heard of Ye Olde Stockholm Syndrome, and tries to say so, but no one pays much attention.)

And--this is important--the story includes equal amounts of evidence that Izzy actually is a (whatever) versus that he is a human being with severe mental health problems.  Is it a fairy tale with a happy ending for mythological!creature Izzy, who is finally getting what he needs, or a tragedy of two co-dependency gone metastatic, in which two people lock themselves into an ever-tightening spiral of mutual abuse, until they both, miraculously, crack in exactly the right way to decide they like it?  

We never find out.  We never get the mental closure of knowing whether what we just read was a gourmet meal or a bag of rotting trash from the dumpster.  Is our enjoyment of the torture scenes retroactively sanitized by them being necessary-but-unpleasant steps on the path to redemption, or are we monsters for fapping to two men’s descent into madness?  No one can say*.  

(*Except, of course, for how it’s fictional either way, so there isn’t any genuine moral weight to enjoying it even if it is a thing that would be horrible-if-real.)

#izzy hands #fic I'm not writing #dead dove do not eat #cw: torture mention #cw: mutilation mention #cw: mindfuck #cw: #abusive relationship #the other reason I'm not writing it #is that I'm honestly not good enough #to pull it off #but mostly it's the headspace thing

[masterthespianduchovny]

No please share your theory if only you want to though. Well I mean David did kinda almost slip up when he said years age Nate's the single guy lol & him unintentionally always bringing her up and Gillian is getting flustered and shit and whatnot all the time when he's brought up. In your OWN opinion do you think that DD is also captivated/charmed with GA's charisma and her being her in general?

Wait, what does “Nate’s the single guy” refer to again?

Full disclosure: the only thing I claim to be true is that David and Gillian are friends, which I’ve stated before last Sunday.

This is all speculation on my end and I don’t claim it’s the truth by any means.

Personally, the only way I can make sense of David and Gillian’s is if they were/are having a torrid affair.

Antis will claim this is a fantasy of mine, but I don’t fantasize about people having affairs. However, I am realistic that these things happen.

As I mentioned in another post, how is Gillian still flustered about a question she literally answers several times a year for almost 30 years? Why can’t she give a straight answer? Why does she lie and sometimes contradict herself?

Because she was and currently is involved with David in an on again/off again affair. Depending on her answer, they’re either involved at that moment and/or she’s upset at him.

Where as David can answer the question, but he slips up in other ways.

And it explains why they’d lie about it.

Let’s get something clear: they’ve always admitted that they’ve had a complicated relationship, which they are open about, but they’ve never said they’ve hated each other.

Part of the reason is that they both have dominant personalities, the other reason is that they couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to each other for whatever reason. Then when they got married to their respective spouses and had kids, but still fucked around, they couldn’t expose their indiscretions.

They’re both trying to protect their kids, David more so than Gillian. David’s father cheating, and then leaving his mom for his mistress, deeply shaped David and his brother. People may think this is ironjc and hypocritical, but sometimes kids mimic their parents behavior. Even the toxic shit. As a result, he doesn’t want his kids finding out what he did because he knows what it could do to them. It’s also to spare their former spouses embarrassment (to be honest, I’m not sure David and Gillian would ever receive public blowback for it, esp now. People already think they’re fucking, so what difference would it make). Acknowledging that they ever hooked up leads to questions about when, and then people doing the math.

Gillian’s marriage was from ‘94-‘97 and David’s from ‘97-‘14. Okay, so maybe Gillian was single for a few months and David was single during his separations from tea. I’m not sure there’s a lot of overlap where they were both technically single at the same time. David dated Perry and the woman who dated det white. There has almost always been a relationship going on.

So if they’ve been fucking on and off for almost 30 years, it wasn’t always when both were single. One or both of them were definitely in relationships.

Something we know happened: Gillian admitted that they were talking (as in trying to see if it could lead somewhere) when David lost interest because she wasn’t from New York.

So there is evidence straight out of Gillian’s mouth that when they first met they kinda hit it off in that way before David walked away.

During the dark ages, you know the time they famously ‘hated’ each other, David elopes and doesn’t tell Gillian. Months later, her and David are doing an interview for print or video where they interview each other. Gillian brings up tea and is like, “you must’ve really liked tea to marry her so quick” and “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting married?” This isn’t verbatim, but the gist of it. David says, “you’re still mad about that?”

Let’s take a moment to note how weird that is. They hate each other, right? Why would Gillian fucking care that David didn’t tell her he was getting married and that it happened so quick? It doesn’t matter, but she was hurt by that. She really was. It wasn’t friend hurt, it was jealousy and betrayal.

David hates Gillian, but makes snarky remarks about her boyfriend Roland aka “six pack” (or is it eight pack). “Well, he hates her right, so it makes sense he’d make cracks about her boyfriend?” Well, years later, it’s an inside joke between them.

Their failed relationships are inside jokes to them. Does anyone else find it unusual how often they joke about their failed marriages and relationships? How is this something apart of their narrative or necessary when talking about how long they’ve known each other?

The only way their behavior and responses makes sense to me is if their relationship is messy as hell.

Why would you lie about how close you are to someone unless you had something to hide?

When you comb through their history and read/see what they were doing and what they said, it doesn’t match this narrative that they hated each other. They were at a difficult point in their relationship, personally and professionally, and that bled over into work and interviews. But they’ve always maintained that it wasn’t hate, it was just complicated.

I think in “ghost in the machine” Gillian pretends to blow David. They insisted on doing the “cut” FTF loss and I write cut in parenthesis because, although it was cut, it shouldn’t have existed. They made out twice for fun. Why? Why would you make out for fun with someone you hate? And didn’t this occur during the dark ages? In the unnatural, after tea leaves the set, David starts humping Gillian and she giggles. Yes, two people who hate each other right there.

Their relationship was so tense and complicated because they were stubborn, proud, and strong willed. Those type of people are bound to clash. Throw in their work environment and their relationships, it was a pressure cooker. An explosion waiting to happen.

When people say they hated each other, the question is why and how did they get over that?

There’s never an answer for it. Or when they do claim something, it’s disproven.

And that’s because they didn’t.

If they hated each other, they wouldn’t have done IWTB, various cons together, or even seasons 10 and 11.

Could I be 100% wrong about this, ABSOLUTELY.

Look, it’s no skin off my back if I’m wrong.

I just can never shake the sensation of how Gillian looks like she’s about to be caught or is scared when she’s on a late night show and someone says “picture” and “David” in the same sentence. She looks shaken.

What was up with their kimmel interview?

Why we they basically flirting while talking about hooking up with women?

I expect anon hate accusing me of saying “you said that they had a horrid affair doe 30 years.” 🙄 “but Gillian was so in love with Peter and David loves young pussy.” But my whole point is, I don’t know what to make of their relationship and this is the only thing that makes sense to me. Both of those things could be true in these hypothetical anon hates, it still doesn’t change what I said.

Hell, even Téa while freshly married to David described his relationship with Gillian as sibling like and like a married couple. What does that even mean?

People who talk about “Téa had to force David to invite Gillian to his housewarming party.” Was that because he hated Gillian or because they used to fuck/were fucking. Inviting your former/current lover to your new home with your new wife. A bit awkward and disrespectful, wouldn’t you say?

Keep in mind, months before (or a year before), he was her date to the Emmys, as a friend, to support her because her divorce was being announced that day. How do you go from that to hating each other and not wanting this person to come to your housewarming party?

What was the catalyst?

Why did the fall out?

Didn’t their tension start around the time he married Téa? 🌚

I don’t know if it’s in the same year or within the same 12 months of his marriage, but she’s mad at David at one award show and kissing him on the cheek at another. Dark ages, right?

Remember when Gillian gave a spot on, unfavorable assessment of David and he responded to it all hurt and moody? 😂

And, how could I forget, let’s think of the other suspect behaviors.

1. David: we only email like five times a year.

Gillian: that’s what you like to tell people.

2. Gillian’s gum falls out of her mouth, David puts it in his mouth.

3. Gillian spitting food in his hand and David not being grossed out by it.

3. David pulling on the hem of Gillian’s shirt to pull her closer so he can sign it. Neither thinks twice about it, despite the level of intimacy being unusual.

4. David biting on her shirt.

5. David going quiet and making shit awkward after joking about her saying she kept saying she’d point at random men and say, “I’m going to marry that man.” Same occasion two minutes before, Gillian asking how David knew who mitch’s wife was (it was her stunt double). It felt accusatory.

6. The chili’s story where she has to explain she means Mulder and Scully had sex at Chili’s and not them.

7. Then holding hands under the table at comic con in 2013.

And there’s a lot of stories either I forgot or don’t know, I’m still finding out new things.

I know this theory destroys their perspective of DDGA and it ruins them for some fans, but it’s just a theory. Like I said, I’m not saying it’s the truth. I’m saying it would explain a shit ton about the ebbs and flows of their relationship and why they’re so inconsistent and reactive to being asked about each other for just about three decades. Why aren’t they bored of the question by now and answer it without this big to do?

I don’t know if David stans believe he is/was a cheater, but Gillian stans swear he is until you mention he could’ve cheated with Gillian. All of the sudden, he’s faithful and committed. 😒

I can admit that I might be wrong because I don’t know them. Only they know what goes on in their relationship. But if you had friends acting like they do, you’d think they were fucking or wanted to even when they insist otherwise.

To tour last question: OF COURSE David is captivated by Gillian. Gillian is attractive, funny, and flirty. They seem to have similar senses of humors at times as well. She’s silly too. I can totally see David being taken in by her because we see that now.

He’s more of the straight man to her zaniness, but he finds her zaniness endearing.

EDIT: please feel free to add any normal colleague behavior between David and Gillian over the years. 👀

#anon mail #evergreen gillovny #prepares for hate anon #how many will I get #it’s fitting it should be on the one week anniversary of THE PICTURE #Just sub ‘they were having an affair’ at certain difficult points into their relationship and it all makes sense #😂

[slutsofren]

Alphabet Prompt: with demon au Kylo since ya’ll enjoy him :3

for those who don’t know, this Kylo au is from my post here <3

* some of these are NSFW lol

Original list from here!

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

Demon Kylo just REALLY enjoys vibing with you in your apothecary, he likes watching all the little humans interact with your witchy self. There’s something about you that naturally glows when you’re working. The sun sets differently when it’s touching your skin, creating a shine he wants to capture and love for eternity.

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

He is one confident bastard but in all reality, you are the one human who has intrigued him in his entire immortal life so he gets a wee bit insecure about how to court you properly according to modern dating standards- it just doesn’t make sense to him!

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

Oh, by the stars not at ALL. Kylo is awful with words, if he ever did a love language test his main would be spending time, secondly he’d much rather give gifts then talk about his feelings. If you two ever do end up arguing he would just leave- space for you as well as him to clear his thoughts. When he does come back though he never goes into a full on speech about his feelings- rather he apologizes straightforward and explains what he said/did was wrong of him and he will be more mindful going forward. Afterall, this is new to him.

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

So, demons don’t get drunk per say... BUT oh, boy, does he get drunk off your scent after you orgasm time and time again. He gets a little more snuggly and openly affectionate, during this time he lets his guard down a bite and sleeps. Oh, how rarely do demons sleep. When he does, you take this time to admire him.

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

Imagine a raging storm- winds billowing, rain falling as harsh against your skin as hail, cold nipping at every inch of your body threatening to steal every degree of warmth. It’s like that but fire. He gets so enraged you think he might just kill the whole town to find out who hurt you. When you tell him it was the fridge that gave you the bruise on your hip he gets a little flushed with embarrassment but you appreciate the sentiment.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

Kylo realizes one day of how much he has missed out on since the last he visited the surface. So he tries to do one thing a day- reading a book, watching a film, or researching new things.

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

Being a demon who has seen everything on earth, he expected you to be more of the materialistic type. It bewildered him how you refused every piece of gold, diamonds, and fine clothing. Eventually he came to discover you enjoyed useful gifts- especially ancient books of the craft you long thought were lost to the ages. Kylo is a very mindful gifter.

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

There is literally only one way this damned man cuddles- with his body draped over yours and his face snuggled straight into your chest and you playing with his long hair. He often says your heartbeat lulls him to sleep.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

This demon hates with a passion about being late to things. Admittedly he was late to your WEDDING and no, you will never let him forget that.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

He would be so bored at home scratching random lotto tickets and if he won he wouldn’t even claim it. He knows lotto money brings nothing but destruction in its wake which is why you never know he won in the first place- he just imagines it’s another person saved from its terrible fate.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

Uhh,,,,,,,, you. Especially when you come around his cock, moaning his name. He could weep just from listening to the sweet symphony your moans make.

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

By the stars, this man gets a hoot when you attempt to bake. You are just so bad at it but he enjoys watching you make an effort. “Just stick to cooking and I’ll do all the baking.” Although he still ends up doing the cooking too, not that you’re complaining.

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

He is a morning person! He doesn’t sleep like humans do so he has a tendancy to leave bed before you wake to make you a warm cup of something and a small breakfast so you don’t have to worry about that. It also gives him a few quiet moments to watch the sun kiss your skin.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

Kylo Ren is one of those kinds of men demon who is touch-starved so he often finds himself seeking you out. Maybe you’re both sitting at a cafe or bookshop and he reaches for your hand just to feel you close by. He just constantly needs to be touching a part of your skin.

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

He’s been wandering the earth for a millenia and he will continue until the end of time. In all his years he has witnessed the destruction that colonialism leaves in its wake. He’s watched as many of his sacred places have been corrupted by man and it breaks his heart. Now one of the few places left is within a redwood forest, far away from the eyes of humans. A quiet place where he dreams to take you one day.

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

He has such a high tolerance for pain and often says “ow” just to feel like he’s just your normal husband- nothing demonic about him! 

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

“Yes, I love him. Yes, he is a jerk. Yes, I want to fuck his brains out.”

lol are we surprised

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

Kylo hates being apart from you so much. It tears him apart every time. When you finally see him it’s like all the air rushes out from his lungs the moment you walk into his gaze. He forgets how to breathe and just runs to you, to hold you. He soaks up your presence with his face buried into your hair and leaves chaste kisses on every inch of your face never wanting to leave you again.

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

Simple solution is sex- both of you fuck your frustration out. Once you called it “make-up / angry sex but without the fighting” and he did not understand what you had meant but he fucked you into oblivion and immediately saw solutions to his stress. You gave him hundreds of smooches after these kinds of evenings.

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

Kylo is truly afraid of losing you and not being there quick enough to save you. He really cannot fathom a life without you by his side and it kills him each moment he is reminded of your mortality.

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

Since Kylo is a fallen angel, they all lost their feathered wings- destroyed in the nine day fall. Oddly enough, he somehow maintained his wings. They were transformed to become black as dark as midnight with tips shimmering gold- like Icarus’ wings before he too fell to his destruction. This caused him to be hated more as many of the other fallen resented his beauty.

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

He doesn’t fight a lot- doesn’t really seek it out but when it comes to protecting you his long talons would rip through flesh and bone, rows and rows of sharp teeth tearing into his foes. A true horror and sight to behold.

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

Kylo loves loves loves watching you do your craft. He is so enamoured by your potential and skills that he can sit there for hours watching you work.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

Kylo’s cock. Oh, boy. There were plenty of historical texts and recordings of witch’s accounts of fornicating with demons but none could prepare you by how this man could fuck. Every time he rocked his body into yours you could swear you felt the earth shake beneath you. His cock was unworldly, a true testament to the Big Dick Energy he carried with him. His size was perfect- not too big, not too small, seemingly perfect for his body and your pleasure. What you didn’t anticipate was the head of his length- it flared and sharpened to a tip, reaching and caressing every inch inside of you. His cock really could ascend you to another plane.

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

This man does not enjoy things that have contradicting properties. Like, wet and crunchy. Pickles are a perfect example- just the smell could make this immortal demon gag and run from the room. 

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

When you’re apart he tends to just starfish across the bed counting down the moments until you come home. He doesn’t sleep well since the day you came into his life, he just needs you. When you’re together he has to- absolutely has to- sleep on top of you and cover your body with his while he gives you all the smooches between high heaven or lowest hell.

#asher's writing #demon kylo ren #Blood Moon Rising #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren reader insert #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren/you #kylo smut #kylo ren / reader #kylo / reader #kylo ren & reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #star wars #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars smut #star wars reader insert #adam driver #kylo ren fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #kylo ren smut #star wars alternate universe #kylo au

[kaorei-endgame]

There's this Daryl Surat Greater Action Movie postulate (which i only half remember so blame me not him) that goes "female led action movies <something something> falter because <something something> studios won't let directors do the Hard R." Which I bring up in the context of this video game because I remember this weird controversy about the secret ending as it pertains to not only mental health but like.... girl on girl violence? Like it went around the bigger bloggosphere and if I'm playing devil's advocate shoot me but how much literal violence we will swallow (like just.... absolutely.... 6-8 hours of teens beating the shit out of each other) as long as nobody directly verbalizes it? Like haha what's with that moralist shit dude go scream at a cop and let video games be even 1% gross sometimes. It takes me 30 seconds to refocus my eyes after this boss intro:

Usually when they say a WayForward game don't end good, they're talking about that part in the Bloodrayne platformer where you had to make 6 pixel perfect kick jumps off set of floating blood mosquitos while fire's chasing you, am I right??🤣

Well, think about it this way. If most beat 'em ups feel kinda slight and most Way Forward games way too long, River City Girls is exquisitely paced for a Way Forward beat-em-up, especially as a direct-ish sequel to the original, where you could beat the last boss to the end of the game.

I don't know if is this is just all in my head, but as someone who appreciates pink things, bubblegum poppin, oversized jackets, short skirts, and band-aids everywhere, emotionally I gotta approach a Bubblegum Pop video game aesthetic like I'm about to be served the next Lollipop Chainsaw...... specifically with what it's gonna do with my emotions it's rarely some "lived in" shit, if you know what I mean? And the line between "do I feel like I'm playing art about high schoolers, or art about playing chicken with the line of how fuckable you can make a child before someone will call you on it?" is like.... oddly thin? In video games specifically it's like the Macualy Culkin The Good Son of thin ice (but I'll save that for 2021's 2020 Game of the Year Write Ups: Aegis Rim (which will not contradict what I said up there about gross video games so chill🥰much love in 2021).

The risky aesthetic dive is bolstered by a genius soundtrack. Is it synthpop? vaporwave? I am 100% sure a synth or a wave is involved but possibly not both. Album of the Year, and not only because I have found continuous respite this year via "smoking a lot of weed and listening to Smackdown on repeat until I feel like I'm falling into an infinite tunnel in the carpet." While you got an overall great smorgasbord of tracks to beat ass to, sometimes she'll hit you with this insane Stevie Nix-style croon like The Hunt, which is playing off diegetic speakers in the area and fades as you transition out.... I have no idea how to explain what kind of fuckin' vibe that puts you in for a beat 'em up.

Kyouko and Misaki fill in the rest. Part sukeban, part valley, part scene girl, a mismash style of high ponys, varsity jackets, stocks with cute kicks, painted nails on scuffed hands, and pink backpacks (weaponized). They lean femme, yet they slip the beat em up noose of the sexy-cool girl (eg. Blaze) because they're neither sexy nor cool? They're thuggish brutes with a bit of a mean streak. That's the whole point. It don't matter if you're a buff terminator man or a glitzy gyarus, in River City, you gotta be willing to chuck a trashcan.

You know what I'm saying. Kyouko and Misaki are a pair of mutually enabling, oversensitive knuckleheads on a moronic quest that the (maligned?) secret ending reveals was premised on nothing. This may also be described as..... puberty. I don't wanna like... make that argument, but this would not be the same game if it wasn't a pair of brutish morons making trouble for a whole city of equally brutish morons.

They don't make fun beat em ups anymore (not since 2013) but they also don't make games where a soft butch and a hard femme pick on each other for six or seven hours straight. There's that fundamental comedy beat where the smartest person in the dumb-dumb group corrects everyone else, only for their correction to also be wrong? I think this is a game for anyone who has ever sat across from their friend and been like "I am so much smarter than this bitch." One time I thought that sitting across from a person I lived with who also smoked, so we--on my initiative--stole a 5 gal paint drum filled with sand from campus for our personal indoor ashtray and threw our butts into it for a year. I 100% knew I was smarter than that guy.

And yet!! They were still.... my bitch. The girls take selfies together, compliment each other's technicks, go gaga over food, scream about schoolyard drama, and kvech on the various creeps. Part of what makes beat em ups so fun to play is they're something to occupy your basic motor functions while you chill with your besties. This is the fundamental truth of all multiplayer games--vectors for dorks to dish about their day--here it's on the screen. Kyouko and Misaki know they are both the smartest, raddest, coolest, hottest, strongest girl on the block. Occasionally moments of cutscene outre reveal how the cool clique just fucking reviles these girls. But they don't even seem to know they're not part of the cool kids. Or they don't care. They have each other.

#fast karate #game of the year #game of the year 2020 #goaty #goty #goty 2020 #jae says you can literally dab on cops killing them instantly #river city girls #YFI

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

There's a lot of things about Borderlands 3 that makes it kinda a garbage game. And all of those things are valid and true but a aspect of bl3 that deeply bothers me isn't something I've really seen people talk about?? Maybe they have but I missed it but I want to say my interpretation. (Also like, spoiler warning throughout all of this post)

To start off with: hi, I'm a autistic afab nonbinary person and this is relevant for this little rant I'm bout to go on.

I want to begin by stating why I love this franchise so much.

Borderlands, whether you like it or not, is INCREDIBLY queer. And not in a coded kind of way, it's just flat out gay as fuck. And that means so fucking much to me. Borderlands 2 was one of the first times I ever felt fully represented in a game. Zer0 being this dumbass making Yugioh references and generally being a fun garbage boy and also being nonbinary meant a lot to me and I adore him to this day (nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns fuc off). And getting more and more into this series and finding out that basically every character was on some level queer was really cool to me. Maya being asexual and most of the characters being attracted to multiple genders so honestly and off handily was so refreshing and amazing to get to play through. The casual mentions of a woman's wife or some man's husband in the echo's you find or Moxxi talking about her ex girlfriends was one of the reasons I loved this so much.

Another thing I loved particularly about Borderlands 2 was how feminist it was. I can not tell you how quickly I lost my shit at Mr. Torgue talking about the friend zone being misogynistic(it is btw). And the repeated jokes about fully murdering men for being rude to women was some of the highlights of my first playthrough. Punching a guy till he explodes because he disrespected a sex worker?? Fucking immaculate.

SPEAKING OF SEX WORK.

Mad Moxxi is a icon. She is a mother of MULTIPLE children, a survivor of rape and assault and a fucking bad bitch who runs a now intergalactic titty bar. Getting to have not only a sex worker be respected in a narrative, Moxxi is fun and a genuinely complex character who isn't defined by her job or her appearance. She is emotional and strong and funny and flawed but amazing person.

And then there's the way the male characters a represented and treated. I'll be honest here, I haven't really played Borderlands 1, mostly because have been spoiled by auto pick up and also I just didn't feel like it. So my idea of most of the men are based entirely off of Bl2, the pre-sequel and Tales. Anyway, Mordecai in particular is a character I really liked upfront. I love how a lot of his motivation and character is driven by his love of animals and Bloodwing. He's kind and though troubled knows when to get his shit together and be there when he needs to be. His casual "are you okay?" After the latter falls in the Arid Nexus was such a nice moment and the way he genuinely tries to be there emotionally for all of the people around him who he cares for is so fucking rare to see in a male character. And his arc of giving up alcohol to focus on being a better bird dad and you getting to help Brick make Mordecai a special gift to celebrate his sobriety is so amazing and I'm so proud of him.

Mr. Torgue is my dad and I love him. As mentioned, he is normal and believes that the friend zone is absolute garbage talk is ICONIC™ and the best scene in that game fight me. Torgue is a crybaby. He is an emotional person who is not afraid to express his pain and hurt when people are mean to him. He respects women and loves unicorns. The fact that is physical appearance is a big muscle guy who screams but is the literal opposite of toxic masculinity will forever make him the best male character of all time and I love him and he is my dad.

Roland was a character that I was never in particularly attached to but I still respect him and did enjoy his presence. I really appreciated his leadership style being primarily based on empathy and logic as opposed to him being a big meanie man with a HUGE dick who yells at people. I always really resonated with the echo from Tannis talking about how she came to Sanctuary. Roland going out of his way to bring Tannis to safety while completely respecting her autism and struggle with socializing really made his death hit harder when Tannis was very obviously distraught by losing him. It really seems that Roland was the only one who didn't treat her differently. And as someone who's autistic, finding people who legit 100% understand and respect you and just let you live the way you want/need to is kinda hard and those are the qualities I'd personally want in a leader.

Angel is also a big spot of affection for me. Handsome Jack being a irrefutably horrible person who Angel flat out says gaslights people and killed her means a lot to me considering 99% of Bad Parent stories end with "I forgive u" getting to see an abusive victim take that narrative and say fuck you was powerful and meant a lot to me coming from my own abusive home life.

There's a lot of other things I love about Borderlands but if I keep going I won't stop lol so let's get into why Borderlands 3 makes me so uncomfortable.

One of the main things that bothered me was the sexism. Its nothing too horrifying but given how feminist bl2 was it was really shocking and a bit hurtful the number of times women are called bitches or made to seem crazy. If you recall I brought up how you punch a man to death for calling a woman a bitch? Yea no, in this game we mock women for having boundaries and opinions because lol she's just a CRAZY BITCH who just needs to stop acting so hysterical am I right guys?

Yea the whole mission with that stupid bear thing and his ex robot girlfriend made me insanely uncomfortable and upset. I kept waiting for the gotcha moment where it says actually this bear guy is a dick and he shouldn't use language like that but no we just,,,,,, are supposed to laugh along. I hate it.

Even though Borderlands 3 is still very much queer, this game introducing 2 new trans characters as well as a whole DLC about a gay marriage and one of the playable characters being a lesbian there was this some shit that bothered me.

The mission where you crash and ruin a lesbian wedding.

That mission made so upset and uncomfortable. I hated how traumatized and hurt Tumorhead was as I murdered her family and wife. I hated how unfulfilling the mission was where PLOT TWIST the lady was actually a spy or whatever. I hate how there's a mission about ruining some poor psycho ladies wedding. I would've much more preferred a mission where Idk Bloodshine asks you to help her kill a spy who's causing problems and then fucking go around Promethea collecting wedding decorations or something. OR MAYBE JUST NOT A MISSION WHERE YOU KILL LESBIANS FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

I'm mad, anyway.

I also hated how Tannis was treated in this game. Under absolutely no circumstance would Doctor Patricia Tannis ever willingly take up a position of leadership. She is a severely autistic woman who gets nose bleeds from talking to people she wouldn't just be like "I'm in charge now pls talk to me!!!" Fuck off. And the joke about her dating a minecart isn't funny. The whole thing with the chairs, though funny in its absurdities was still a very important and powerful moment of character exploration. Tannis is insane. She is traumatized and hurt and in a moment of severe torture, she humanized some inanimate objects to cope. Tannis crying over the echo over Phillip is a heartbreaking moment of true vulnerability. It is also funny, because that's how good dark comedy works. It can be both hysterical and emotionally ruining at the same time. So what exactly does Tannis divorcing a minecart mean? What is this saying about her character? Why is it funny? Because lol lol reference??? Again, fuck off.

I hate how the Calypso twins childhood is handled. Troy implies it was horribly abusive and traumatic. But when we met Typhon whatever, he acts like it wasn't that bad??? He acts like he just didn't buy his kids the latest iPhone and oh no whoopsie now they're evil, my bad guys. It feels super weird and I don't like it.

Speaking of abusive parents. THEY DID MY GIRL ANGEL DIRTY SO BAD. This was literally when I decided I hated this game. Angel being the one who killed her mother and not Jack was fucking horrible. Especially after the literal foreshadowing in borderlands 2 implying he did. The fact that Jack is treated like a fearful man making what he thought was the right decision was insulting. I get that MattPat manipulated the fandom into thing Jack is a uwu bean but fuck you, you're the writers and you should fucking know better. Handsome Jack saw his daughter had power and turned her into a living battery for him to use as he saw fit. He was not scared and he was NOT right. Fuck you and fuck you for framing child abuse as chill and ok if your spooked enough like that. And the mission directly contradicts the echo's in Get To Know Jack. If Angel killed her mom why does she ask Jack where her mommy is when he's putting her in her chambers?? Why is it in the echo Jack is aggressive and forcibly and hurtfully makes her go into her chambers but in the memory, he's quiet and passive about it?? That's literally just flat out bad writing. Also fuck you.

Anyway,

I think that's really all I wanted to say about this topic. Obviously, there are also things that suck about bl3 but I'll try to chill and not make this too long.

I mostly wanted to make this to see if people cared/are bothered by the same things I am. I've seen how some of the fandom treats the more emotional and gay aspects of this franchise(the people throwing a fit over Amara, the friend zone line, not respecting trans peoples pronouns, sexualizing and being gross about Moxxi)

Anyway that's it byeeeeeeeeeeeee

#rant time #i was also gonna post this on reddit but it turns out i don't know how to use that app lol #so i prob wont #but dont worry still got tumblr #anyway #borderlands #borderlands spoilers #borderlands 3 spoilers #borderlands 3 #borderlands 2

[trashcatsnark]

thoughts on edens gate and fucking (long post, is mess)

Okay, so I’ve seen some takes about which is folks saying they don’t think the Seeds fuck. Some have been chill valid peeps, others have been less chill. 

Now I’m a dumb bitch who lacks the ability to shut up, so i decided to put my opinion out there. And to clarify, cause I always feel the need to, this is exactly that. It is my opinion which is worth however much you decide. My opinion does not invalidate yours and yours does not invalidate mine. At the end of the day, how we interpret characters in a vidya game is purely subjective and has no bearing on real life. It’s all just fun times, my dudes. 

This is gonna be long as fuck, so strap in folks

So, that being said, a lot of the reasons people are on the “peggies/the seeds don’t fuck” is because of this supposed No Fornication rule in the cult. However, in my own personal play through (which I might have missed who knows) the only evidence I find of this is through Hurk’s dialogue and sometimes a peggie will call you a fornicator in kind of an insulty way. Again, maybe I missed a note somewhere? Who knows, but these are the only indicators I’ve found/experienced.

However, I don’t think that’s a true indicator of the rule being legitimate and in place. As I said before in a more shitposty context, I think it is perfectly within reason that they may have told Hurk that there is a no fornication rule, because if you remember Hurk is a pervert. I think it is perfectly believable that they would tell him that to either A) make him stop hitting on every woman in the cult or B) to drive him away from the cult when they realized he’s gross. And before you say, “well the cult wants as many people as possible, they wouldn’t lie to drive him away just cause they didn’t like him.” Hurk has a line where he says, his buddies were being kidnapped, for some reason the cult didn’t take him. Hurk is an acquired taste of a human being and the cult is not a fan. 

As far as the insult goes, maybe that’s an indicator they don’t like fornication, I guess that might hold water. But, as I’ll explain in a bit, Peggies also say shit that contradicts that. So, I think it could just be as simple as that one peggie thinks we’re a fucking pervert. Hell at John’s ranch there is apparently a peggie who will say they think the deputy’s sin is lust, so maybe that peggie thought so too. 

So, now onto evidence that at least is as legitmate as those two things and goes against them. Note; I will not be mentioning Absolution in any of this, that book is not canonical and contradicts the game in many ways. I may like to borrow from it when I write, but that’s just a personal preference, the book is not canon in anyway shape or form. 

But, Sharky talks about John fucking. He has a line where he jokes that John has gotten the clap so many times, it became a standing ovation. Now, that could just be Sharky being a shit head, could be rumors, whatever. But, I think it hold as much water as what Hurk says, they’re both oddly lovable fuckin idiots. But take it with a grain of salt or dismiss if you want, I don’t control you. 

Secondly, and more damning in my opinion, is male peggies will mention keeping prisoners for breeding. Like????? If Edens Gate was so anti-sex, why the hell would peggies even mention that idea? Once the earth has been purged of sin, they’ll suddenly be allowed to fuck to procreate and fuck non-consenting parties as well? That seems extremely suspicious to me. 

Thirdly, there is a event? action? whatever that triggers sometimes in game where you will find a male peggie dragging a female civilian/resistance member by the ankle in the woods to some location to do something. Me and my friends who have played have seen this over and over again, and it is always a man peggie dragging a woman. Never has it spawned with the genders reversed, never has it spawned with members of the same gender. Now, does this mean for absolute certainty that man peggies are gonna do something sexual and non-consensual to the lady? No, men can do bad things to woman that aren’t sexual. And that can also happen with any combination of gender. However, that mixed with the idea that male peggies want prisoners to breed, I’mma file that under suspicious. 

Also, I’m pretty sure couples have joined the cult, obviously they’re prepared for babies in the bunkers, since John says in a letter to Nick and Kim that they’ve prepared things for babies and mothers. 

And maybe you hear all that and you go, no Snark, I still don’t buy it. There is no fornication rule in the cult, i will die on this hill, The peggies and the Seeds don’t fuck. And you know, maybe fornication is frowned upon in Eden’s Gate, maybe it is bad. And the peggies only mean to breed to repopulate once the collapse has passed or just for in the bunkers. 

But does that mean the Seeds listen to that rule? 

Maybe, maybe not. Cult leaders and religious figures as a whole, aren’t known for being reliable. In fact, a lot of ‘em are hypocrites. Tracey, granted not about sex, even says she saw through the Eden’s Gate bullshit because the Seeds are hypocrites. She says, the peggies weren’t allowed to be angry, but the Seeds were. And this didn’t change until the peggies anger was convenient for the cult and could be weaponized. Who says how deep that hypocrisy runs?

 And this is where I start to narrow in on John, because I think he exemplifies this shit the most. John has by far been the most hoed out Seed in this fandom. Even if he’s not the one you personally thot for, he’s the one most are willing to say is a very sexual person. And there’s canon backing to this, he’s in canon hinted to have some sort of attraction to the deputy, Adelaide sexualizes him. The closest one after that is probably Faith and for her it always is more focused on men sexualizing her, not her herself being a sexual person. 

Beyond that, the Book of Joseph (which while imo much for canon then absolution can still be argued how much is true) but it talks about John having struggled with his vices; namely drugs and sex. And that supposedly following the path of Eden’s Gate, absolving himself of his sins, he is now free of those vices. . 

But is he?

John is modeled largely after televangelists, who have a big history of being discovered to be criminals or sex perverts, just saying. In the Book of Joseph, Joseph talks about John being a chameleon. He puts on a face, he gives you that smile, he tells you whatever will make you say yes. 

A large idea in John’s storyline is that he still struggles with giving in to sin. Joseph tells him, he’s letting his sin ruin the baptism. But he’s supposedly absolved of all sins? So absolved that he absolves others? How does that make sense? Spoiler alert, John’s still a sinful man. His entire character is the idea of someone who pretends and presents himself as being this holy baptist, who shows you how to wash away sins, how to scrub yourself of vices, but is himself proof that it doesn’t work.

So, isn’t it possible, that he still struggles with and at times indulges with his vices? Sure, maybe he doesn’t wanna upset the project and Joseph, didn’t stop him from giving into wrath and trying to kill the deputy in the end. Didn’t stop any of the heralds in fact. 

I think it is completely valid and believable to think behind the scenes John is struggling and failing more with his vices than we realize. I don’t think it’s farfetched to believe John or any of the Seeds will tell you not to do something they do. They’re hypocrites, John shows this the most clearly and is the most logical one for it to potentially center around sex. But literally the entire game shows you why they’re all full of shit. 

Quite frankly, the only one who’s even close to honest is probaby Jacob who basically straight up tells you like “I don’t even fucking know if this god shit is real, but I think the world sucks and is gonna end, so fuck it”  And even he still has some hypocrisy, especially if you compare his ideology to what we supposedly see as being Eden’s Gate beliefs. But that’s a 9 page rant for another day.  But uh, in summary cause this is long enough. The Seeds and Peggies might fuck and thats cool. So if you write/art the seeds being whores, you’re fucking valid, go off. And if you don’t, you’re also valid. If you made it this far through this horrifically unplanned, meandering, mess of bullshit; gold star for you!. 

#far cry 5 #fc5 #this is a mess #snark being a dumb

[cviperfan]

Okay so partially motivated by how many references there were in SPoP and largely bc it's been in my backlog for years and I remembered the whole thing got uploaded to youtube a while ago, I finally got around to watching Revolutionary Girl Utena for the first time so time for some hot takes

2 clarify I did see the movie about around 2000 which was my introduction to the series, and I did see like 1 episode back in anime club (over a decade ago now tbh) but for the most part I went into this with only a vague sense of the ending and offhand knowledge of a few of the weird comedy episodes so this was mostly a blind watch

Before getting into #spoilers I will say that this ended up being an easy Top 5 and that it's definitely still worth watching (fair warning for the very frequent rape and incest (and sometimes both)), especially if you've somehow also avoided most of the context of this show like me, and it really is one of the rare Nothing Else Like It kind of show (though it has roots in older shoujo like Rose of Versailles and modern stuff like Revue Starlight have picked up its lede)

Okay spoilers from here on

I really only kinda have vague memories of the more knightly take on Utena from the movie so Series!Utena having this powerful Dumb Jock Energy threw me

Like she's out here invoking the Air Bud Rule from minute one

This bit where Akio is going on about some Important Life Lesson thing and she's just fuckin

crab walking im

what a hero i love her

I have always kinda been more partial to shoujo than shounen bc the sense of like emotional urgency and the heightened exaggerated feelings are just more compelling to me narratively and what Utena does spectacularly is really drive that to fucking 11 and it permeates every aspect of the show

Like the melodrama of it all is so shameless and it's so committed to letting its visuals and music drive the mood and emotional intensity of its stakes that they kind of speak for themselves and demand to be taken on their own terms rather than having clear or rigid interpretations

Like it's kind of a situation of "yes most of what you're seeing ties into the show's bigger themes and characterization but also you can just vibe to the spectacle as well" like even when it's not on the Dueling Arena there's a theatricality underlying everything that pairs perfectly with the spirit of shoujo even as it... not necessarily contradicts it, but challenges it in some ways and also wants to coexist with it?

And I think that's the interesting thing how it wants to tackle some of these arch concepts tied into the genre while also being deeply intertwined with it.  Like it really is a Product Of Its Time in so many ways but it also feels somehow timeless and transgressive in others even now?

Like part of me would be interested to see a remake that took into account 23 years of conversation about how much perceptions of gender and sexuality have changed but at the same time would it lose some essential part of itself in that transition?  idk potentially

Also lbr a hypothetical remake wouldn't even attempt to revise anything it would just redo it thus making it pointless

So I know this has been a thing that's been brought up before but seeing it play out dang RGU and NGE really are just companion pieces to each other huh

Subverting the themes and narrative arcs of their respective genres, mysterious quiet girl who's directly the key to everything, the ritual of action setpieces rendered as Actual Ritual in the story, banger OP, comphet ruining everyone's lives

Also they really don't have much in common comparatively but I'm definitely seeing pieces of Utena in Kill la Kill too?  Particularly how Mako's arc feels like a fleshing out and expansion from the archetype divergence Wakaba got in that one ep (I can't believe klk was the utena/wakaba au fanfic)

Speaking of which damn he is a sleazy bastard and a gross predator but ngl Akio can Get It he and Ragyo are basically the same character and I guess this is just my type apparently???? oops

Like I'm recognizing how like really awful he is but also you really can't blame Utena for crushing on him he is super hot and charming

aside i lost it at the audacity of "well even tho i am a man like twice your age (AT LEAST) and took advantage of the situation and also i am clearly not the type to take no for an answer since you didn't reject me you're basically just as bad as me" bruh

The Black Rose Arc is... interesting bc like it borders on superfluous with how it resolves and yet the introduction of a "monster of the week" type power rangers element specifically built to expand on the secondary cast is a pretty inspired choice

again my primary point of introduction to the series was the movie which is basically a remix of the Student Council arc so when I got to 12 I was like wth are they gonna fill the rest of this with? WELP

What I really like about it is that usually this kind of setup-- the 'character is faced with their dark inner thoughts they shy away from and they become a short-term enemy' deal-- ends with the char in question coming to terms with this and overcoming it to become a better person

but here it's just like... they lose and then they just gotta... sit with that, forever.  Like it doesn't really change the status quo of their relationships w/ utena or the others but it does just stick around for them and now the audience knows that about them too.  like sometimes you just can't take that shit back.

Utena's relationship to queerness, having heard about it tangentially for years but seeing it play out now is also interesting bc while in the grand scheme it doesn't feel necessarily any more ahead of its time than something like Cardcaptor Sakura there is a casualness to it that's distinct

Like for the most part it's either kind of the tangential fluff that even then was part of shoujo as a standard but then there's also stuff like the Akio/Touga or Touga/Saionji hinting or Kozue's casual pass at Anthy in addition to the maintext Juri/Shiori push-pull and ofc the subtext-but-maintext Utena/Anthy threads

I wanna take a moment to talk about Juri bc of how kind of in the spirit of the show itself it plays things both with and against the grain with her

Like she's a Tragic Lesbian which is nothing new but usually this character type (and Distinctively Lesbian characters in general) in anime/manga tend to be portrayed as being very predatory, invasive and either played for laughs or to repulse the audience, so the degree of empathy RGU shows her in 97 is rare to see even now.  

Like there is a "safeness" to her bc of how unattainable Shiori is (though their arc ends in a decidedly ambiguious way), but it doesn't really feel like she's getting the short end of the stick over the more straight-leaning characters bc arguably all of the relationships here are defined by an aspect of chasing the unattainable, echoing Utena's own quixotic search for her Prince, and her choosing to remain closeted feels realistic *especially because* of the surrounding context of how heteronormative the world she exists in is.  Like the character is aware of that and is navigating it in a way that feels honest

Speaking of which it's interesting how the reveal of Juri's pining for Shiori in Ep 7 echoes the bigger reveal of Utena/Anthy bc of how it plays up this heterocentric love triangle or at least it seems to be but then the cards are on the table and no that's really not what it is at all, and it feels significant that after spending most of the series naively oblivious to Juri’s feelings and what she wants out of a relationship with Shiori that Utena finally Gets It in Ep 37

Is it a coincidence Juri actually gets to be the one to point it out? No

Speaking of triangles big ups to the Ruka/Juri/Shiori one honestly bc of how hard it commits to the unknown third result of a LT where absolutely no one comes out happy and it actually works even with the handicap of Ruka basically coming out of nowhere just for these two episodes

Like all three of them want the one person who's absolutely never gonna love them back and that's just rough buddy and isn't that kinda the show in a nutshell

So the thing that struck me about Utena/Anthy and how it plays out is how subtle it really is.  And that does make sense bc while f/f teasing/subtext again was part of shoujo before it's quite a different thing for the heroine to ultimately reject her 2 male love interests and choose a life with her female best friend, esp in nineteen ninety seven

Like I think you can argue that Ep 12 feels like The Moment where What Their Relationship Is, Definitely shifts and that possibility is suddenly there, and then it doesn't come back in a big way until the ending but there are tiny glimpses throughout where you can see that working in the background if you’re really paying attention

Small things like Anthy's flashes of unspoken jealousy, Utena fretting over her even when she's in bed with Akio, and part of that is coming from going in with a knowledge of what the endgame is and keeping an eye out for it.  I can hardly imagine being a viewer during the og broadcast and then ep 34 comes and suddenly the intent is made clear and our understanding of the inciting incident gets all flipped turned upside down

And to a modern viewer I can get coming into this for the first time and being frustrated at just how close to the chest it gets played, but that's also kind of the only way it gets to happen at that point in time?  But I think it ultimately is effective and vital to their individual arcs and dovetails nicely with the themes of the show

Like I remember hearing that original manga creator Chiho Saito was pretty against their paired ending, but with a lot of convincing from Ikuhara ultimately came around to it, and it's hard to imagine the anime's ending working any other way and being nearly as impactful

And there is something really beautiful about the bucking against the established idea of yuri relationships being a childish concept that gets left behind in order to 'grow up' actually becoming the impetus of their own journeys into adulthood and eventually back to each other, and it’s hard not to feel a little disappointed that for this Bold Step and declaration for the future that RGU takes that while yuri is more common than ever it largely continues to exist within the realm of schoolgirls and something to be left behind in adolescence like for RGU’s faults and shortcomings it saw this world of possibility in moving forward, while the genre largely elected to stand still

And it really speaks to either the timelessness of the show or how much the queer experience has remained constant that even with a tragic ending, that hope, or rather the promise of their reunion, feels bold and defiant and genuinely uplifting even now

Like the moment where just before they reach out to each other one final time, and their voices as children speak out to each other, as if finally fulfilling a promise they barely remember, I really did just start ugly crying

Lastly some assorted closing thoughts--

-Touga?  Punk.  Guy really takes advantage of Utena's whole prince thing to manipulate her, ends up losing to her in the rematch and then fucks off to mope for like AN ENTIRE SEASON then pops back up "oh yea im in love with her literally nothing else about my behavior has changed tho" like lmao you tried i guess

-Also i know Touga's design is p stock standard bishounen ojou-sama type but god this is all i can think about when I see him

- Green Touga Saionji is a bitch-ass motherfucker but like he at least tried more than anyone else so uh that's something I guess?????

Like the guy clearly has some unresolved feelings about Touga so i'm inclined to be sympathetic bc wow poor choice my dude but also... bitch-ass motherfucker

-Nanami really went through this thing for me where it's like... she's a brat and a shitty person but it's also hard to really dislike her bc she does get what she deserves most of the time and also she gets kinkshamed more than most of the cast despite none of them really having a high ground over her lol

-Miki did nothing wrong (aside from like the implied incest but that's also like... half the relationships in this show uh)

sidenote I can completely see the notable excess of Incest Subtext/Maintext being intended as like... A Thing to comment on how common it is within shoujo and also tying in to like the bigger themes of Growing Up bc the idea that you’re chasing after your own damn siblings betrays some freudian inability to mature or whatever but tbqh it doesn’t always feel like the show knows the line between commenting on this and indulging in it and RGU is very indulgent by its own nature so I really can’t blame people put off by the show as a whole bc this is an area where RGU is largely indistinguishable from its genre peers

-Juri really did nothing wrong tho also props for having the best duels

-FUCK SHIORI THO for eel 

so obviously i have not seen the show up to now but I've been in yuri circles for a long time so I knew about Juri/Shiori and my perception of it had always been "oh it's one of those kinda messy with complicated feelings" kinda ships where the drama is a big part of the appeal and that's true but like

the actual nature of it I did not realize up to now and OH SHIORI'S REALLY THAT BITCH HUH

So not only does she date that one anonymous guy specifically to spite Juri unaware she doesn't actually like him BUT THEN WHEN THEY GET REUNITED SHE'S JUST LIKE LOL IT DIDNT MATTER BUT HEY WE COOL RIGHT *AND THEN* when she finds out about Juri's feelings she's like HELL YEA I CAN HANG THIS OVER HER HEAD FOREVER FUCK HER

***AND THEN*** when she gets some karma after Ruka dumps her ass she airs her dirty laundry out in front of EVERYBODY like Juri hasn't been dealing with this shit like an absolute champ the whole time like?????

Like ok i get that there's the sad longing drama there and usually that's my jam and the show itself seems to end on kind of an ambiguous note and the follow-up manga from this year seems to leave it as kind of a "maybe" but I'm sorry get Juri a better GF 2020 she deserves better

I saw some Juri/Wakaba going through the tumblr tag for the show and honestly that's some big brain shit I'm here for it

Also now knowing exactly how this dynamic operates it really makes that Jasper/Lapis reference pic one of the SU crew drew of them read very.... interestingly???????? (tho Lapis' design reads a lot closer to Kozue and that's probably a closer personality analogue too)

-I love that thing in ep 37 where the whole SC is just very casually like hey utena if the whole revolutionizing the world thing with anthy doesn't work out uhhh call me im free haha just kidding unless...? lmao

-I'm pretty uninclined to try to pin precise sexuality HCs to characters for series this old where the ambiguity is part of how its danced around like partly coming from my own experience I'm inclined to read Utena as bi but that really is just coming from me?

But on the other hand literally every time a guy is like "i love you utena come be happy with me and we can love each other forever" she's like "k" after having left them on read for a day and disconnects from them entirely so lesbian going through comphet is a pretty valid read i think lol

-Lastly I think it’s pretty interesting but validly frustrating how fast and loose the show’s relationship with dream logic and non-traditional storytelling really is like when the shadow girls show up I was like “oh this is a greek chorus thing and it’s meant to reflect on the themes of the episode” (or uh in the case of exactly Ep 29 to break from tradition and explicitly tell us what a characters deal is lmao) but then no actually turns out they’re actually real characters who exist within the show too fuck you

ANYWAY I really did love this show and felt like I got a lot out of it despite it being pretty infamously hard to decipher but the ways it's inscrutable appeal to me specifically so very happy with this I'm gonna be thinking about it for a while

#revolutionary girl utena #cw: rape mention #cw: incest mention #might follow up with some thoughts about the movie later

[eternalnight8806-3]

WARNING! This is an anti SessRin post! So if this is content you don't wish to see then kindly be an adult and keep scrolling!



Any messages, asks, comments or reblogs that are hateful about this post will be ignored/deleted.

Ok, so this is not meant to start anything with anyone or create any drama whatsoever. But I ran across this post and I feel like I need to say something about it. I'm not doing this via reblog to hopefully avoid any drama by me stating my opinion on this post.

I will not be sharing where I found this post or who posted it, again to avoid drama.

****end of bitchy post****

Ok, here we go. *cracks knuckles*

You’re not talking to the “quiet people”, you’re talking to those of “us” who are

Hmm. See, right from the very first paragraph of this you’re already contradicting yourself. You’re telling those of us that don’t like the SessRin ship that we’re prejudiced and mean. You say you don’t judge our opinions, yet you’re already cussing at us like we told you that you’re personally molesting eight-year-old Rin.

Cancel culture?? Seriously? That’s where you want to take this? Honey. Baby. Sweetheart. Sit down. You’re about to get schooled. I’m assuming by “cancel culture” you’re implying that those of us who are anti SessRin are somehow cancelling those of you who enjoy this ship. Nope. Hasn’t happened. SessRin is still very much alive and going strong, despite those of us who may dislike the ship for reasons I will definitely get into in a minute. Those of us who feel strongly that SessRin is simply wrong don’t sound stupid for saying the ship is problematic for a multitude of incredibly good reasons. Tbh, you sound like a 12-year-old screaming at her mommy because she won’t let you go to mall. It’s childish and honestly, pointless.

Honestly, this line just makes me fucking laugh. We’re the ones who are getting butthurt? US? SERIOUSLY?!?! You’re the one plastering your nasty comments about anti SessRin shippers and making vast assumptions that are grossly untrue. Absolutely nothing has been confirmed about the identity of Sesshomaru’s hanyou children’s mother. Obviously, she must be human but beyond that, she could literally be anyone.  Personally, I don’t give a fuck if Sesshomaru ends up with anyone, let alone a human. For all we know he raped a human and she happened to get pregnant from it. Do I believe that’s what happened? No. But I am in no way “pitching a piss fit because I’m not getting my way.” 😒

Ok, this next line I have serious issues with for a whole bunch of reasons. 

1. I hate to break it to you but grooming a literal child to later be your bride/mother of your hanyou children is vastly harmful. The idea that this is ok, even in the realm of fantasy, is just toxic and super gross. 2. Perpetuating child grooming, pedophilia, child trafficking, etc., is more than gross, it’s just plain wrong. 3. The fact that you SessRin shippers have to defend yourselves this much should tell you something about what you’re shipping. Maybe it wouldn’t be ok in the real world, for damn good reasons. 4. Creating this fantasy about an eight year old girl idolizing the demon/man who saved her from actual death twice to the point of loving him romantically says way more about you and your obvious *Daddy issues* than it does about those of us who understand that this ship is wrong. 5. Romantic SessRin is not fucking canon. Atleast, not yet. It might be, we don’t know yet. But having the assumption that you’re right just because the kids are hanyou is just being stupid on your part. Making posts like this shows how much of an asshole you are.

Pfft. Now ain’t this some damn irony? Who’s the one screaming at the fandom for supposedly being exclusionary and getting *butthurt* that we find issue with your precious ship? Hmm. Well, lookie here! It’s not the anti SessRin shippers!  I have never, ever, attacked anyone who ships SessRin. I seriously don’t agree with it, for the reasons I’ve already stated. But I do tend to leave people’s ships alone. I might state my opinion about it if I’m comfortable with you, but otherwise I just ignore romantic SessRin content because it makes me want to gouge my eyes out and scream at the world that you’re all fucking gross for thinking this is a good thing to ship.

McScuse me?? What?? 

Please, someone show me where in Takahashi’s writing that child grooming is a “basic trope.” I would genuinely love to see this because I’ve never seen it. And if it’s truly a Japanese trope, then that says so much about how repressed sexually the Japanese are to the point of sexualizing children (i.e. Lolita culture, schoolgirl/ sailor girl trope, etc.), and that’s just not fucking ok. And anyone with half a brain should agree with that.

Well, see, I would have, but you had to go and be a complete and total gross as fuck dumbass who needed to be schooled that sexualizing children (yes, that’s what it is, even if it’s adult Rin. I don’t fucking care how much you try to defend it, that’s a fucking fact,) is fucking WRONG.

I usually do. But you attacked us with no provocation or reason. So, how about you take your own advice and stay on your side of the InuYasha fandom with all your gross, pedophilic friends and you can fight for them all you want over there. I’ll be over here with the sane adults who don’t find children sexy. I’ll leave you with this, a final quote from your ignorant ass post.

#anti SessRin #rant #long post #fucking jesus #i can't believe that I have to explain why child grooming is wrong in the year 2020 #hate will be blocked/deleted/ignored #fuck romantic sessrin shippers #now I'm fucking mad #come at me bitch #i fucking dare you #fucking fight me #i could use a good laugh

[strayneoculturekids]

Teasing Fullsun - Haechan x Reader

Summary: You didn’t exactly enjoy Haechan’s presence, and he didn’t exactly enjoy yours either; you and him being mortal enemies made it horribly hard for your guys’ mutual friends to hang out all together. It wasn’t until you were put in the direct line of danger that Hyuck first showed genuine care for you.

Enemies to Lovers AU, Highschool AU

Genre: fluff

Requested by @chagi-nana: Hey love! Can I request an imagine of 00 line of stray kids and nct, please? Like they are all y/n best friend and one of them is their s/o? I will be looking forward to it! Lov u 💜

Warnings: brief moment of sexual harassment

----

“Oi, Y/N!” A shout came from behind you from a voice that seemingly belonged the Han Jisung

You turned your head around with a smile on your face, quickly letting it drop when you saw who else was walking alongside Jisung. Haechan was with him, along with Renjun and Hyunjin. 

“Hey guys!” You managed to find your smile again and walked backward from the school gate you were about to leave from “Jisung, Hyunjin, Renjun...” You went through and greeted them all separately, pausing once you met eyes with Haechan

“Hyuck”

“Y/N”

You and Haechan greeted each other curtly, both ignoring the three friends surrounding you so obviously rolling their eyes. Before anything else could be said, you all heard loud, annoyed yelling from behind you. You spun around and saw that the rest of your group had shown up, Felix, Jeno, Jaemin, and Seungmin.

“Don’t tell me you two are arguing again” Jeno frowned, eyebrows furrowed, looking between you and Haechan

“They were just about to” Renjun sighed, mentally face-palming

Jaemin opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something but decided to leave it and settled for staring at you two with a look of disapproval that neither you, nor Haechan, could look at without feeling bad.

“Well” Felix came in, breaking the second of silence “Us four are heading to the mall to eat” He gestured at the group that came with him “You guys want to come?”

“Nah, I can’t. Got something up” Haechan said quickly, looking quite sad

You frowned, shoulders beginning to get slightly droopy before you realized what you were doing. You couldn’t be feeling sad that Haechan wasn’t coming, could you? No, that’s ridiculous you thought to yourself, trying to brush away the bad feeling but ultimately failing.

You walked along with the rest of the group, barely pausing when they all waved bye to Haechan. As much as you hated to admit it, Haechan was handsome, possible one of the most handsome people you’d ever seen, but he was a jerk. He always teased you past the point of it being friendly, something he seemed to not think.

The seven of your friends caught up to you, Jaemin and Seungmin were walking right next to you, going quick to keep up with your abnormally fast pace.

“Why are you walking so fast?” Seungmin asked in a teasing voice “Scared you’ll see Hyuck’s oh so beautiful face and fall in love with him all over again?”

You glared at him but kept your mouth shut. It was true, though; whenever you saw Haechan around everyone else, he was just being himself, he was laughing and smiling, cracking jokes, and you were undoubtedly in love with him. You just weren’t in love with the way he acted towards you specifically.

The eight of you arrived at the mall about fifteen minutes later after catching the train. You spent most of the train ride staring out the window with a sour expression mulling over your mixed feelings for Haechan. Some of the ride though was you trying to stop Seungmin and Renjun from full-on attacking Felix for doing fortnite dances on public transport.

You walked into the mall and immediately you and the rest of your friends were dragged away by Hyunjin and Jaemin to get Cha Time, something that you weren’t exactly complaining about. You guys were just strolling around, no doubt disturbing the general public with how loud you were. The amount of time you and Seungmin had to smack everyone else upside the heads to get them to quiet down was ungodly.

You were actually having a good time, until you spotted Haechan in the distance. He was running towards you guys, a small smile playing on his lips and it wasn’t long before the rest of the group noticed him as well.

“Miss me?” He smirked

“Yeah right” You muttered under your breath, your voice being drowned out by the other seven boys with you greeting the last addition to the group

It wasn’t until you guys made your way over to the arcade that your mind was taken off of your enemy. You spent your time versing each member separately or going off on your own to play a couple games. You were beginning to have a lot of fun once again when Seungmin just decided to challenge you and Hyuck, saying that you couldn’t be each other in a game of dance revolution. Both you and Haechan took this as a personal offense and immediately got onto the surprisingly empty machine, starting up a game.

What you seemed to not remember is that Haechan was one of the fastest learners in the group, especially when it came to dancing. Everyone besides you and Haechan seemed to have already realized that you were absolutely screwed.

A couple minutes in and you and Haechan were both sweating like crazy, but neither of you had done many wrong moves yet. Hyuck, regrettably, took the time to glare at you, causing him to mess up far more than necessary. You smirked triumphantly, not taking your eyes off the screen.

The competition must’ve lasted ages, and by the time Hyuck had finally beat you, you were both completely out of breath, a thin layer of sweat over your entire bodies. 

“I win” He grinned, holding his breath so he wouldn’t appear to be panting

“Whatever” You groaned and glared at him

You marched over to Seungmin, frowning at him, knowing he dared you to do it aware of the fact that Haechan was so obviously the better dancer.

“You suck,” You said to him simply

“You need to stop being a child and finally confess your undying love to Hyuck” He retorted, doing a horrible job of hiding any sarcasm

You groaned and looked over to Haechan, who looked just about as annoyed as you. A shade of red was hinting at his cheeks, just like it was yours, but you just assumed it was from dancing for so long.

The day sky eventually began to get dark and the nine of you decided that it was about time for you all to head home. You began walking to the back to the train station, you were walking a bit behind the rest of the boys, still slightly tired from the competition you and Haechan got stuck in.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Haechan turned around, eyebrows furrowed

“I’m just tired, anything wrong with that?” You retorted

Haechan frowned, he looked far more than annoyed. Out of nowhere, he dropped back from the rest of the group and started walking slightly closer to you, but still in front. You shook your head, wondering what the hell he was up to. You were about to ask, but before you got the chance to, you felt someone from behind pull you backward, slapping their hand over your mouth so you couldn’t make any noise other than trying to flail around. Your heart suddenly picked up its pace by a million and before you could even try to stop it. Just as you felt the person’s breath behind you on your neck, assumably trying to whisper something to you, Haechan turned around to check on you.

“Fuck!” Haechan ran up to the man behind you, who seemed to have realized his mistake by now

Hyuck’s loud shout attracted the attention of the other seven boys in front of you, and before you knew it, they were all running back to you. Haechan was evidently the first to reach you and ripped you from the man’s grip, bringing you into his chest and holding you there tightly while the other seven full-on attacked the man. Hyuck turned you around so you were facing his chest, not able to see anything, only hear pained grunts.

Before you knew it, Haechan was walking you away from the situation and most of the noises had stopped, yet only a few of your friends came back to join you.

“Where’s Jeno, Hyunjin, Jisung and Jaemin” You frowned, not exactly fond of the thoughts of what they might be doing

“They’re just taking that guy to the police” replied Renjun simply

You hadn’t noticed thus far, but looked down at a particularly hard squeeze on your hand. Haechan had had his hand wrapped around yours and was holding it tightly.

“People like that are gross” Haechan muttered to himself, earning a chorus of agreements from the group

“Haechan...you can let go of my hand now...” You were grateful that your friends were protecting you, of course, but you couldn’t help but feel something that was awfully similar to helplessness. You didn’t enjoy being the damsel in distress all too much

Haechan’s face fell and with an obvious blush, he hastily let go, scrunching up his nose, pretending to be disgusted by the fact he’d been holding your hand.

“Was that why you started walking closer to me?” You asked timidly, the other three boys were now walking protectively behind you, with Haechan walking right next to you

“Of course it was. I didn’t- you’re my friend- you shouldn’t stray away from us this late at night”

“Friend?” You scoffed, the conversation that Renjun, Felix and Seungmin were having behind you came to a sudden halt, but neither you, nor Haechan seemed to notice

“Yes?” Haechan looked offended at your comment

“For the amount you tease me, sure as hell doesn’t seem like it”

“Tease you? I don’t-” Haechan paused, momentarily getting lost in his thoughts “I- I didn’t think that- that you cared”

“Well, you’d think that me purposely avoiding you and insulting you was enough for you to notice”

“I...” he started, but began to trail off

“Thank you for protecting me Hyuck, but it’s just...why do you need to be so contradicting?!” You huffed

“Y/N...I’m sorry, I actually thought- I didn’t realize that I-”

“Then why do you always give me dirty looks back?” You interrupted him

“It’s just a- It’s an immediate reaction. I thought you just hated me for no reason...if you’d told me sooner, I would’ve stopped...I don’t want to hurt you”

You stayed silent. For once in your life, you couldn’t think of anything to throw back at Haechan. He was looking at you intensely, and slowly, you looked at him as well. His eyes were intense but genuine and it didn’t take long until you started laughing, much to Haechan’s confusion.

“Why are you laughing? I’m serious!” He sounded slightly distressed

“I know you are” Your chuckling died down “All this time it was just a dumb misunderstanding? Ridiculous”

Soon enough, Hyuck found the humour in it too.

“FINALLY” Seungmin’s voice came from behind you two

BONUS

You and Haechan glared at each other, both working your asses off on dance revolution in the arcade. Finally, after not being able to go on any longer, you gave up and over-dramatically fell from the machine. Hyuck laughed and finished the game while you caught your breath, going over to help you up as soon as it was over

“I win” He smirked

“Fine” You breathed, smiling “What do you want as your prize, your highness?” You bowed mockingly

“For you to go out on a date with me” His smile widened when you looked up to him, surprise evident on your featured, awaiting your answer

“Of course, my liege,” You said in another mocking tone, earning a light punch from Hyuck on the arm

#haechan #hyuck #donghyuck #lee donghyuck #nct haechan #nct 127 haechan #nct dream haechan #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #haechan imagines #haechan fluff #haechan scenarios #hyuck imagines #hyuck fluff #hyuck scenarios #donghyuck imagines #donghyuck fluff #donghyuck scenarios #stray kids #stray kids scenarios

[underwaterattribute]

Dont care if you've not reblogged it. Character breakdown. Geralt and or Yennifer. And if you so choose, Steve Rogers from the MCU

Okay, I only gave you two, you gave me three :P

Let’s go with Yennefer

How I feel about this character

As a character, Yennefer is great- it’s unusual to get to see a female character who gets to be as blindly ambitious and ruthless as she is, not to mention that the way she is filmed is fantastic; she’s not sexualised in scenes that often would be sexualised (like the transformation scene, which is intercut with Geralt’s fight with the striga and really fucking disturbing to watch, actually), and gets to have a sexual and romantic story line as a disabled woman, which is great.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I don’t really ship Yennefer with anyone, honestly. I’ve read some good OT3 fics with her, but often in the fics I read she either is happy with herself or the pairings she’s in feel more like a ‘pair the spares’ situation, which makes it hard for me to have much of an opinion on the ship. I tend to read fics with one specific pairing, and she’s not in it, so I’m happy to read her in a side pairing with pretty much anyone. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Give me ALL the mother/daughter bonding between Yennefer and Ciri. Let her become a good mum, and grow as a person through her interactions with Ciri.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think she’s a great character. But. I don’t like her. I’m too skeeved out by the orgy scene, honestly. And her anger at losing her ability to have children (or to have the ability to choose to have children, I suppose) is somewhat undercut with how she chose the transformation thing. It makes her ruthlessness in pursuing a cure somewhat unsympathetic, although I get that people can change and regret choices that they’ve made, and also that that’s not how it happened in the books. Like I said, great character, well written, complex and intersting, it’s just that I, personally, don’t like her, not that she’s a ‘bad’ character in any respects.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I really hope we get to see her grow and change in season 2, and that she gets to bond with Ciri. 

Steve Rogers

How I feel about this character

I love that the public perception (both in universe and otherwise) is so different to who Steve actually is. It makes for some really interesting stories. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Bucky. When I read fic, I almost always either go into it with an OTP or gain an OTP very quickly, and I honestly can’t remember which it was with Stucky. I’ve read and enjoyed a few OT3 fics with Steve/Bucky/Sam and Steve/Bucky/Natasha. And listened to one fantastically funny podfic read by quietnight called ‘An Exceedingly Mutually Understood and Well Coordinated Time’ which is an AU which has the tropes A/B/O, soulbonding, and telepathic bonding. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Natasha Romanova. I love the way they’re both underestimated in completely different ways, and have such different backstories and ways of looking at the world and can help each other in unique ways. All the bro bonding for those two.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think fic authors often write him as catching up with the times way to quickly on social issues. That’s not to say that he wouldn’t find out more about things that weren’t even spoken of back in the 40s and then take the stance he does in those fics, because he absolutely would, but he is often written as already knowing a whole lot about things that he probably should take a while to catch up with, at least for the terminology- what is and is not acceptable words to use even within certain groups has changed a lot, and most fics don’t acknowledge that. Steve is not going to come out of the ice knowing not to use various words that are now (and were in the 40s, but there were no other words available to use) slurs. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Steve did not go back in time and stay with Peggy, he just didn’t. And even if he considered it, he would never just LET HYDRA KEEP ON INFILTRATING SHIELD. 

Ah hell, let’s do Geralt, too

How I feel about this character

I enjoy the Stinky Bog-Man. I like that, as one meta writer put it, contradicts the trope of the unemotional action character. That people viewing him as being that macho, unfeeling sort of person is what is messing him up so badly. It makes for lots of potential stories where he gets to heal, at least a bit.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Jaskier. I like that Jaskier brings a lightness with him, as well as. Well. All the other character either aren’t recurring or he’s bound to them by Destiny, which is something he hates and fights against. I think it’s important that, given how much he hates the idea of Destiny, the person he ends up with is someone he chooses, outside of what has been decided for him.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Parent child bonding with Ciri. Let him learn to be soft with her, and by extension with himself. Also Geralt X Therapy. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I get that lots of people like the look of him when he’s all sweaty etc. But it’s so gross. All I can think of in those scenes is ‘ew. sticky.’ (Look, I have a thing about sweat. I hate it. My OCD compels me to wash it off as soon as I get even a little bit sweaty and I also want to wash any bits of me that have come into contact with a sweaty person. Yes, it is actual, diagnosed OCD, not hyperbole, I know it’s unhealthy, dont @ me)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Please, please let him become less self hating, and let him be able to express and acknowledge his own emotions. Maybe also expand his vocabulary. 

#paragon-paladin

[sadprose-auroras]

Are you still taking prompts? My current obsession is Ben topping Gwil (but I'm happy for any pairing) and I'm thinking 17 (my birthday) I don't have time for this, and 33 Is that a promise (because it sounds flirtly). They could be wonderful together

17 – “I don’t have time for this.” 33 – “Is that a promise?” – Ben Hardy x Gwilym Lee (18 + CONTENT BELOW THE CUT)

Tag ‘list’: @fake-blue-flowers – if anyone else wants to be tagged let me know xx

This was interesting to write, as I certainly see Gwil as a more dominant personality, and if I wrote this by myself I would’ve switched the roles! But thank you for being so patient, I know this has taken a million years! I also couldn’t possibly respond to this iconic request with something short, so I went OFF. I am sorry for the lack of smutty goodness, I got carried away with the first part lol. Enjoy! xx

Gwilym felt like the universe was testing him. Or maybe Ben knowingly was. He certainly wouldn’t be surprised. Every time Ben simply reached up to retrieve something and his shirt lifted up, Gwilym swore his soul left his body and his cheeks felt like a furnace. Every time Ben sat next to him, not even that close, he just wanted to grab him and kiss his gorgeously plump lips.

And now, it was getting even worse, he wasn’t even sure how he was going to refrain from letting Ben know how attracted he was to him. Because the two of them were on a trip with a group of friends, and, as they were so close, were assigned to sharing a hotel room.

Now, as they were making their way up to the room hauling their luggage up the stairs, Ben’s ass was literally in front of Gwil’s face, and he was trying his very best to look down and avoid staring too much.

He couldn’t believe the effect Ben was having on him. He usually prided himself in being quite constantly composed and put together, but around him, he found himself constantly flustered; blushing and stumbling over his words.

When they opened the door, they were both surprised to find one king-size bed as opposed to two singles. Gwilym’s heart immediately began racing, and he turned to Ben with furrowed brows.

“This isn’t ideal,” Ben sighed, dumping his bags down. “I’ll go talk to them-“

“Ben,” Gwilym cut him off. “Reception closed…” he checked his watch, “5 minutes ago.”

“Fuck,” Ben groaned, collapsing back on the bed. It was currently 3:05am, and they had been travelling for hours. “I don’t have time for this.”

Whether or not he was talking about being unable to fix the room situation or the situation itself, Gwilym was unsure. Either way, he was too tired to ask.

“Whatever, it doesn’t really matter, I guess. Let’s just share the bloody bed,” Ben said with a chuckle, and Gwilym nodded and forced a small smile, gathering his things to take a shower.

When he emerged in a t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants, Ben was already curled up in the bed, eyes closed as he breathed softly. Gwilym gulped, climbing in on the other side and settled down, desperately trying to ignore how aware he was of the heat of Ben’s body radiating from beside him. How aware of his presence he was. That’s how it always was. Gwilym found it impossible not to be constantly wondering how he was coming across to Ben; if he stared too long, if he hugged too tightly, if he spoke too highly of him.

“Hey, Gwil?” He was startled at first, rolling over to face Ben who was staring back at him, a thoughtful look on his face.

“Yeah?”

Ben opened his mouth as if he totally intended to speak, then closed it again. Like he couldn’t possible find the right words to convey what he was thinking.

“Never mind.” With that, he rolled over, grumbled and shifted around, pulling the covers further over onto his side. “Jesus, this bed is uncomfortable. And these blankets, let me have some at least. Fuck you,” he groaned, his tone teasing, as he finally stopped moving around.

Gwilym had no idea what came over him in the next few seconds. It was like he was back to who he was before he realised how much he wanted Ben. When he was just a cast-mate. How he was around everyone else in his life. Before he could process his words, he uttered with a smirk, “is that a promise?”

Gwilym had no time to regret his words, to utter an explanation, to laugh off his joke, before Ben rolled over and pulled Gwilym to him by the hips, crashing their lips together in a desperate, messy kiss.

It all happened so quickly. Before he knew it, Gwilym was desperately bucking his hips up against Ben’s, whines coming from the back of his throat, as he pawed at his shirt in a poor attempt to pull it off him. In one fluid motion, Ben pulled his own shirt off and tossed it on the floor, smirking as he reattached their lips, their tongues massaging each other’s. It should’ve been gross the way they were making out like horny teenagers, but the way Ben was making him feel, Gwilym swore he’d never been so turned on. He was so lightheaded, practically dizzy with arousal.

“B-Be-en,” Gwilym mewled, involuntarily making the one-syllable word three, his breath catching in his throat as Ben ground his hips down on Gwilym’s, kissing his neck rather slowly, but just as passionately. It was definitely a contradiction to how fast and desperate they were kissing only seconds before.

“Hm?” Ben just managed to murmur, continuing his actions as he ran his hands absentmindedly up and down Gwilym’s sides and making him squirm underneath him.

“What- christ, that feels good- what are we d-doing?”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

The nickname sounded so good coming from his lips, especially with his raspy voice as a result of the previous events.

“I want you to fulfill your promise, p-please…” Gwil attempted to keep a joking tone to his voice, but Ben’s ministrations that were moving down his chest were making it increasingly difficult. Ben ceased his actions, his gaze meeting Gwil’s and a smirk forming on his lips.

“Yeah? Do you want me to fuck you?”

Gwilym was absolutely done for.

-

Some time later, all thoughts of hotel mishaps, insecurities and exhaustion were completely gone. Gwilym was splayed out on the bed, gasping and trying his best not to writhe around as Ben thrust into him slowly and deeply, grunting with each movement. Neither man knew how long it lasted, nor cared. All they knew was that the sun was beginning to rise as they drifted in and out of peaceful sleep and held each other, sweaty limbs and sheets tangled together.

Gwilym dreamt of the man laying with him, his voice echoing in his ears;

“You look incredible taking me like this.”

“Doing so well for me, baby.”

“You’re so fucking sexy.”

“Why haven’t we been doing this the entire time?”

#ask #blurb #gwilym lee x ben hardy #gwilym lee smut #ben hardy smut #praying this doesn’t flop cause i quite like it

[artificialqueens]

Elastic Heart: Epilogue (Branjie) - Mia Ugly

A/N: I have no words but thank you. 

They go to New York for the finale. 

Brock loves this city. It’s full of shiny, awful memories that makes him feel young and stupid again.  He likes it even better with Jose at his side, swaggering along in his neck scarf looking kissable as hell.

If they had more time, Brock would take Jose to his old neighbourhood, see if that amazing vintage store was still open down the street from his apartment. Show him the dance studio where he spent his youth instead of going out to clubs and hooking up and sleeping in.

Next time, Brock tells himself, and the thought makes something warm pulse beneath his ribs.

“Girl, stop it.”

“Stop what?” They’re on the train to the club, both of them weighted down with suitcases and duffle bags.

“Looking at me like - don’t front, you know what your face is doing!”

“No. Show me.”

“Nah! So you can laugh at me? No ma’am.”

They have only spent one night apart for the past week.  Jose has followed Brock to gigs, to clubs, to hotel rooms. He hasn’t met the cats yet, but he will.  Someday (and that word is so heartbreakingly sweet that it almost makes Brock slide onto the floor of the subway.  Which he doesn’t because that would be revolting but - almost.)

He knows it won’t last, of course.  This time together, this closeness. After the finale there are shows that Jose can’t get out of, but then they’ll be at Drag Con together, and then they’ll be touring.  Brock can see the future, or the next few months anyway, and he sees Jose standing beside him.  He sees Vanessa with gold glitter all the way from her throat to her naval, because she’s got no judges to placate anymore. He sees them having drinks in bars in France, Australia, Canada (Brock’s going to get her poutine and she’s going to lose her damn mind.)

After that - they’ll figure it out.  It’s too hard to think about how they’ll make this work once they’re both on the road, doing their own thing in different parts of the world, only connected by lines on a map.  Brock’s never done the long-distance relationship thing before.  

He’s never done the relationship thing before, period.

“You good, boo?” Jose’s looking at him, warmth and worry in his eyes.

Brock pushes his insecurities somewhere else. Enjoy this while it lasts (he tell himself that he doesn’t hear a clock ticking softly in the background, counting down the time until it all falls the fuck apart -)

“So good.” (Don’t go there, not now.)

They kiss then, because it’s New York fucking City, and Brock isn’t willing to hide this feeling in the shadows.  Even if he wanted to, he doesn’t think it would work; when he looks at Jose, he shines too brightly. “Nervous about tonight?”

“Ha, no way. I ain’t goin’ in with no expectations whatsoever. It’s just another night.”

“Whatever you say.” Brock is less anxious about the winner, more anxious about watching the episode, looking at his shell-shocked face in the audience.  Everything was so fresh and impossible then, he felt like he was just going through the motions of a living human being. Step. Step. Breathe. Blink. 

From the nervous way Jose’s chewing on his lip, Brock knows that he’s thinking about it too.

There wasn’t even a definite Top Two after the finale. Ru did a weird lip-sync round robin and filmed four crowning ceremonies, so no one is clear on who the winner is going to be. Brock doesn’t know how he feels about seeing Yvie and Silky and everyone tonight - he’s maybe the most anxious about A’Keria because of that disgustingly vulnerable conversation they had after the reunion - but he’d rather be with Jose than anywhere else in the world. So what if his friends are a bit - extroverted for Brock at times? It’s worth it just to hold his hand.  

Brock rolls his eyes at himself; who knew he would be so soft and pathetic in love? (It was obvious to anyone that halfway knew him, clear to everyone but himself.)

When they get to Lips, Brock sits in the dressing room and watches Jose turn into Vanessa. It’s a process he’s seen hundreds of times before, but it’s - kind of sexy? When it’s Jose? (God, he is never going to tell anyone that, he’s going to take this feeling to the grave.)  The focus Jose has when he’s painting, staring in the mirror as intently as any other artist, it makes Brock feel a bit light-headed.  He watches in silence as Jose blocks out his eyebrows, paints them on, blends his contour, lines his lips. 

“Girl, stop it,” Jose says, concentration breaking. “You keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna have to lock this door.”

Heat rushes to Brock’s face, his chest, his stomach. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jose smiles wide into the mirror, and Brock’s hands clench into fists because how does anyone feel this happy without their heart giving out?

That’s about when Silky kicks the door in (“Y’all order some strippers?!”), A’Keria following close behind. It’s too loud to say a word for the next half-hour or so over the shrieking and laughter of the three of them, so Brock moves to the other side of the room, watches from the sidelines. No one acts surprised to see him, no one pays him any attention whatsoever (aside from one flat and assessing stare from Silky that lasts a little too long). Brock checks his phone, responds to some messages, shoots hot quiet looks over at Jose every time the other man glances at him. 

Yvie shows up late, halfway made up.  She’s quiet as she slinks into the room and winces a bit when she sees Silky but is polite enough.  She unpacks her kit next to Brock, slightly apart from the gorgeous chaos of the Dream Girls.

Brock finds himself feeling genuinely happy to see her, the weirdest thing that’s happened to him today.

“How’ve you been?” he asks, and Yvie rolls her eyes at him.

“You really care, or you just want a lead in so you can tell me what you’re doing here?” Yvie glances over her shoulder at the sound of Vanjie’s laughter. “Like it isn’t obvious.”

“You’re obvious,” Brock retorts, feeling altogether too content to make much sense.

“Oh my god,” Yvie groans, “I thought it was bad before.  But you’re going to be unbearable now, aren’t you? Like full-on puppies on a honeymoon bullshit. I might be sick.”

“Don’t be jealous, girl. Love is a beautiful thing.” Brock goes in for a fake hug and Yvie smacks his hands away. “A beautiful, natural -”

“Gross, get off.  I’m not Vanjie.”

“Someone say my name?” Jose has disappeared, and Vanessa has taken his place (dressed in gold sequins, red glossed lips and huge feathery lashes.) “Brooke, you watch those hands, baby.”

“Yes, papi,” Brock gives her a wink while beside him Yvie mimes throwing up.

The smile Vanjie gives him in return is slow to spread, and sexy as hell.  That girl puts her whole heart into her smile, and it makes Brock ache.  It makes Brock forget that there’s anyone else in the world, or the city, or the dressing room.

“What you gonna do while we watch the show, Miss Brooke Lynn?” Silky notices the direction of Vanjie’s stare. “We already gonna have four bitches in the green room. That’s too many bitches!”

The four finalists are hosting a Q&A after the winner is revealed but they’ll be watching the show backstage, with a single camera to capture the winner’s reaction. 

“Nah, she coming in with us,” Vanjie says, “Can’t make it through all your bullshit without my jush.”

A’Keria smiles brightly into the mirrors and she smacks Silky’s arm before the other queen can open up her mouth to respond.

“Leave ‘em alone.  Just because your ass ain’t got a man right now -”

“I ain’t got a man, no.  They’re lining up, honey. All ‘round the block for a piece of this.”

“What about you, Miss Yvie?” A’Keria calls across the room.

Yvie flinches.  Then disturbingly enough, she blushes. Brock doesn’t think he’s ever seen her blush before. It makes her look a lot younger (she is young, though. With all her sharp edges, it can be easy to forget that.)

“What about what,” she mumbles.

“You got someone lining up for you?”

“No.” Yvie’s eyes flash angrily to Brock as if daring him to contradict her.

“What’s your judy Scarlet up to these days?” A’Keria continues, painfully nonchalant.

“I don’t know,” Yvie says flatly, face going so red her skin is almost purple. 

Both A’Keria and Silky stare at her for a beat - before their mouths open in matching screams. 

“She bangin’ Scarlet!” Silky shouts, “Yass girl, get that D.”

“Aw, they’re comin’ for your merch money, Branjie!” A’Keria spanks Silky’s ass. “And this bitch owes me twenty dollars now, bet she thought I’d forget.”

“Shut up.” Yvie’s voice is hard, but there’s a pleased little curve to her lips.  “You don’t even - whatever.”

It’s basically adorable, and Brock wants to say so (before Yvie’s deadly look makes him re-think mentioning anything ever again.)

They’re led to the green room by a tattooed server who could be in the Pit Crew.  He takes a drink order before he leaves, and A’Keria watches him go with raised eyebrows. The room itself is tiny, with one couch that all four finalists will definitely not fit on, and the production team runs off to find more chairs. Brock hangs back, off in a corner while the Dream Girls hassle each other on the couch and Yvie floats nervously around the room. He’s not in drag tonight, and the cameras won’t be on him. He was fully prepared to wait out by the bar, but if Vanessa wants him then he’s here. Simple as that (plus the the thought of watching the episode without her is a little terrifying. He wants to see her face through all of it, remind himself that no matter what came before, this is where they are now.)

“Girl, something is stabbing at me.  Can you see what’s up with this zipper?” Yvie comes over to him, holding up her bizarre seaweed wig, and Brock tries to help.  He’s half-listening to her, and half-listening to the conversation between Vanjie and Silky that has suddenly gotten much more intense. Vanjie’s voice is basically inaudible, but Silky has no inside voice and absolutely no chill, so all Brock can make out is one side of it.

“Naw, you had that when we sent your sad ass to Boston! What you still doing with it? Thought you was going to –”

Again Vanjie says something, and Brock briefly glances at her over Yvie’s shoulder.

“You’re triflin,’ ho. I’m gonna do it for you, you so scared.” Silky raises her voice even more. “Brock, hey Miss Brooke Lynn –”

“Stop it,” Vanessa says sharply. “Serious, Silk.”

“What’s up?” Brock abandons Yvie (after she waves him away, clearly aware that he’s distracted.) 

“Miss Thing over here needs to step her pussy up,” Silky says, and Vanjie glares at her.

“Silk, shut the fuck up.”

“I’m looking out for your best interests, ho.” Silky grins.  “Miss Brooke Lynn -”

Vanjie stops her by getting off the couch and dragging Brock out of the green room. Silky starts clapping in the background, but Vanjie closes the door behind them, pulling Brock down the hallway.  A couple servers and P.A.s are moving quickly around them, setting up for the show, and Vanjie backs Brock up against the wall, standing close and speaking so soft that Brock has to lean into her.

“I ain’t never gonna forgive that bitch.”

“Listen, whatever Silk’s trying to make you do - you don’t have to -”

“No,” Vanessa cuts him off. “No, she’s right.  I - listen. You gotta tell me if this is stupid, I can’t tell sometimes. Around you.”  She fiddles with that silver ring on her thumb. It stands out when she’s wearing it (mostly because she always seems to be touching it, constantly checking to make sure it hasn’t slipped off.)

“I know that we ain’t really talked about what’s going to happen when we’re on the road. We ain’t really talked about any of it. Like if you’re at a club and there’s all this trade around and you’re thinking -”

“Wait - are you asking if we’re exclusive? Vanessa -”

“I ain’t asking. I’m telling you that - I am.” She twists that silver ring. “That’s how it is for me. So. Whatever you wanna do, we can figure it out, but I ain’t - like that. Shit, I gotta stop talking.” 

Brock’s knees are getting weak.  And the night has barely started - never a good sign.

“I’m not like that either.” He reaches out, puts his hand on her waist. “You don’t have to worry about that, okay? That’s not me.”

“Yeah, you say that but -” Vanessa twists that silver ring again. “This belonged to my abuelo. Did I already tell you that?”

“No.”  

Vanessa doesn’t talk about her family much (besides her mom) and Brock didn’t expect her to be carrying around heirlooms.

“He was nice. To me. Not everyone was, you know? And I thought – you gotta promise not to laugh at me.”

“I promise.”

“Such a fucking liar.” Despite the harshness of her words, Vanessa grins, shyly. “You know how you got trouble sometimes, talking ‘bout your shit. Or like asking me how I’m feeling, what I’m feeling ‘bout you.”

“Yeah…”

“I thought, like – maybe if I gave you this you wouldn’t have to ask. Even if we were in other countries and whatever. You’d just - know.”

With trembling hands, Vanessa takes the ring off her thumb, holds it out to Brock.

Brock doesn’t know what to say.

“I ain’t proposing, you don’t got to look so scared. I just –“ Vanessa swallows and looks away, blinking furiously. “Just - this is how I feel.”

Brock just stares at the ring in Vanjie’s palm. He’s forgotten how to make his hands work. Forgotten how to reach out, how to move at all.

“You - want a ring or some shit?” Vanjie asks, voice breaking.

Brock’s clumsy with feeling, so much he almost drops the ring as he takes it from Vanessa, fingers dragging gently over her skin  It’s a thick silver ring with old-fashioned, leafy scrollwork around the edges. It’s heavy.  Brock didn’t expect that. 

“I’m going to start crying,” he stammers, getting ahead of the disaster while he can.

“Don’t you fucking dare or I’ll start, and this paint is flawless now.” 

Vanessa’s hands are smaller than his, and the ring only fits on Brock’s ring finger.  He puts it on his right hand because - he can’t even go there right now. 

“Looks good on you,” Vanjie says and then starts shaking. “You know I love you, right? You gotta know that, I’m all fucked up about it and -”

“Come here,” Brock manages, pulling her against him. Their heartbeats kick at each other, and Brock thinks of home, all the places that have been home and will be home, and how none of them mean more right now than this perfumed man wrapped in his arms.

After Vanjie stops shaking so much, and Brock’s eyes aren’t filled with mortifying tears, they kiss lightly - those backstage lounge kisses where neither of them could move for messing up the other’s lipstick, but they still couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

“Oooof,” Vanjie breathes out. “Okay. Silk is going to destroy me if I go back in there lookin’ all wrecked.“

“You’re gorgeous.” Brock presses a final kiss to her cheekbone, and then one more to her eyebrow and then - “Shit, sorry.  You’ve got - to go back.” Sometimes when he looks at her, when she’s this close to him, he forgets all of that.

“We could just take off,” Vanessa says with some serious consideration. “Get our shit, hit the road.”

“Your girls would hunt you down.”

“True that.” Vanjie sighs.  She reaches out, laces their fingers together. The metal ring is already warm between their palms.

Brock smiles down at their hands, and then smiles at Vanjie, his whole heart in his throat and glowing like an ember.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go find out who wins.”

“I already know.” Vanjie holds his gaze, eyes shining and red lips pressed together. “It don’t matter.”

And for once in Brock’s life - it really doesn’t. 

(Once upon a time, there was a boy who wanted to be a dancer.  

He started young and taught himself, no studios for him. He worked hard, tirelessly, and ended up on stages around the country.  He met people who took care of him, had his heart broken, had his dreams ground down into ashes. He built walls made of glitter and gold brick, and he put them up around himself (but never beneath his skin, never around his heart. His heart was soft, a velvety peach, and however he tried to keep it hidden, people always seemed to find it.  Sink their teeth in.)

He bruised too easily, but he was going places, anyone who met him knew as much.  Everyone who met him saw something that even he didn’t see in himself. 

He worked. He danced. He reached for success and had it smacked out of his grasp, fell to his knees and skinned them, thought it was over.

But it was not over. 

It was just starting.

“Never fear.  The Queen of the North is here.”

The boy (grown up now, with a different name) heard that voice, and looked up across the werkroom to see a woman dressed in red and black and gold.  

We match, was Vanjie’s first thought. 

Her second thought was stranger.  It almost felt like her ankle rolling underneath her, an old dance injury, even though her stiletto heels were planted firmly on the ground.

Glitter and brick was shifting around her, cracks spreading through her armour, and her third thought was: ‘I’m in so much damn trouble.’

It started here, but it won’t end here.  (The thing about peaches is that there are stones inside them tough enough to break your teeth. It takes strength beyond measure to be soft. Say it. Say it again.)

Vanessa lifted her eyes to the Queen of the North, felt the phantom pain of inevitable injury rushing toward her.

And she smiled.)

* * *

Sometimes love doesn’t stay, but motherfuck, when it does

it is worth every person that ever told you that you were not enough.

- “I Break Like a Fever,” Desireé Dallagiacomo c

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #smut #angst #canon compliant #eventual happy ending #fluff #elastic heart #mia ugly #concrit welcome #submission #s11

[plunder-heaven-and-devour-god]

im gonna go full english lit under the cut

I saw measure for measure??? with my local Shakespeare in the Park about  month and a half ago and im mcfucking obsessed with it. So much so that ive tried to find every clip of every film, every show, rehearsal, production, that i can to compare how scenes played out. I even listened to a harvard lecture about it, i’m that far gone. I BOUGHT. A SHIRT. I bought the book with additional notes and discussions because this play is fascinating.

WHY AM I OBSESSED?!

All readings through different lenses are there in full force, fully supported, living side beside with one another. And professors, actors, directors, scholars etc, all seem to congregate on the fact that not one reading is more valid than the other. Theyre so well balanced without ever really given moral answers but merely presented, almost like the Jacobean meaning of the “glass” both a mirror to predict the future and reflect on oneself. And in a post elizabethan age where puritans were outlawing plays and putting stricter holds on licentiousess this play is so close to upsetting the dominant religious force.

And the READINGS! ARE ALL! SO GOOD! There is historicist reading (king James I), Folkloric, Religious, SadoMasochist, Psychosexual, Moral, Feminist, and Capitalistic readings. THEY ALL EXIST SIDE BY SIDE.

And the staging of the play determines how many of these a production can pull together. I think that is why I wanted to see as many scenes are possible. 

I think just the way Angelo and Isabella are played will determine which main reading the play tackles. 

I’ve seen some versions of the interview scenes that are truly horrific acts of sexual violence that made me watch between my fingers. In this the feminist reading can come into full force, the full underline of Angelo as a sexual predator is made prevalent. And the line “and with an outstretched throat i will tell the world what man thou art, Angelo” being present that strong feminist reading IS ALWAYS THERE. (DID I MENTION I LOVE ISABELLA FLAWS AND ALL). The idea that Isabellas voice is the most crucial device in the play is FLOORING.  

The Duke being a nearly godly figure who knows all and manipulates all, Angelo as his emissary becomes like an angel in the process of self corruption, from the inhumane ice he is so dubbed to warmed by the sins he so condemns. And Isabella defending the thing she so hates because it is her brother who commits the sin is the defense of someone who does not truly believe her brother is just. Mercy as justice. To wield power and to use it for mercy is so profound, and she is the only one who carries her ethos through like this to the end ofthe play. I’m not a theologist but so far this is the reading of theologists into the matter.

The version I saw in person he practically throws himself at her feet and it becomes an interplay of the psychosexual and moral. His knees buckle under her touch, it becomes the interaction of repressed sexuality channeled into both law and religion. In the Stratford production Isabella wipes her brow with water out of disgust or heat, no one is sure. it’s left ambivalent. In the one I saw Angelo was made almost comedic and sympathetic, which made ISabellas mercy still feel like an axe coming down upon his head. 

And then characters like Barnadine just using comedy, the genre of the gods as the greeks called it, to dimish law, to put it to shame. To put the godly/playwright Duke in his place.

The folkloric bed switch (which is folklore yes but Im not totally comfortable calling it consensual even tho Angelo is a sexual predator you can bring modern sensibilities to the reading), is indicative of oral traditions that predate shakespeare. The idea that every character must do in this play the thing they most loathe to do.

Claudio fears death so he must die, Isabella must have sex to save a life when she has sworn herself to chastity. Then they both sort of hurt each other, Claudio by asking her to yield herself up to this non consensual sexual coercion of upmost grossness, and isabella by telling him to be happy he will die because there is nothing so painful as being alive (ISABELLA HES AN EXPECTING FATHER). He asks her to do the thing she loathes most in a fit of desperation because the man who loves life must die. And Isabella the woman who “would wear these keen whips as rubies” would have have done anything but sex, tells her brother that living isnt worth it. ITS INTENSE. LIKE WOW.

It’s absolutely no surprise that Isabella and Angelo are my favourite characters in the play. This awful sexual coercion (the degree of violence is dependant on staging which is like holy shit WTF), lives side by side with the fact that they are the two only people whose language, diction, beats, and intelligence matches each other. They both have the same fervor for their moral divisions and hierarchies. The idea of strict testing of morals and faith is in the text. Isabella wishes for harsher, more challenging, and harrowing tests of faith. You can argue as to why, I personally think its for the strengthening of faith and connection to the divine. Meanwhile Angelo is the one setting restrictions for hundreds of thousands of vienna, setting those on other people to strengthen the connection to a higher moral fibre, and I think in some respects faith as well but thats my interpretation. 

Where others live their vices without restrictions, these two set limits for either themselves and/or others to be something more. They are in the way that motif of the “glass” The mirror. In that sense they reflect each other, but they also become each others foil. Which is why I do think a case can be made for the parallels with the psycho sexual and the SadoMasochist readings. Restraints for rewards, the repression on both their parts is there.

I’m not saying that negates the strong feminist reading or in anyway shape or form validates the absolute horror of the coerced sex/rape. I just say that they exist side by side with each other. They are equals in text/language/fervour AND YET they are not because he holds every power over her and her brother. He wants to restrict others where he cannot restrict himself, and Isabella restricts herself in part because she lives in a Vienna full of vice. She has a control over her own self that he proves not to have. And HE has a control over the world of the play that she cant. 

AND YET. SHE IS MARRIED TO THE DUKE. SHE MARRIES INTO PROMINENCE. I don’t love the idea that she does not become a nun, her original want, and is instead coopted by the shitty duke (i am not pro duke sorry). The only upside at the end of the play is that Isabella can, in some measure, have political sway over the masses. Meanwhile Angelos fall and forgiveness put him into a marriage where his vice of coercive sex becomes consummation of a sleeping marriage. IT FEELS LIKE they sort of mirror each other the whole way through the play. ITS WEIRD BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH SEXUAL AND POLITICAL INEQUALITY TO THEM. ITs a play full of contradictions which I LOVE BECAUSE IT IS NOT SIMPLE NOT BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT. I do think there is a case to be made that Isabella unwillingly comes face to face with sexuality, his and hers, and its not on terms she wants, but it happens. And you see her struggling to maintain the authority over her own autonomy. But then she has to contemplate sex for herself, “to give up her boy into saucy sweetness, licentiousness, the filthy vices”. What does ISabella do when she comes face to face with her own sexual needs, whatever she may be? We have productions in the Stratford archives from 50 years ago that make an ambiguous case that the meeting of morality and sex might actually do something for her? I DON’T KNOW. The readings keep coming. There is a possiblity for a strong Ace reading for her which no one really touches on. 

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

This play has my favourite sexual innuendo. When theyre like “WHAT DID CLAUDIO DO?”

“Her?”

“no! What did he do to get taken away by the provost”

“HIS GIRLFRIEND.” 

(god and isnt it nuts that the first man on the scaffold for unlawful fornication IS IN A CONSENSUAL LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, A BOND AND CRIME THAT THE LAW (ANGELO) HAVE DEEMED IMMORAL. YET THE LAW (ANGELO) WOULD HAVE IT PARDONNED BY A NON CONSENSUAL SEX FOR EXECUTION PARDON. THE MASK OF MORALITY OF ANGELO. JFC HES SO FUCKED, like hes AWFUL, because he ends up sending claudio to death after he thinks hes had sex with isabella. LIKE WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT ND YET STILL WEARS THE LAW AS HIS MASK AFTER THE ANGEL HAS FALLEN. ITS COMPLEX AND I LOVE IT)

God and just…the sex jokes, the black comedy of barnadine right next to the high shooting morals of angelo, isabella, and mariana (another complex af character. The 1976 version certainly makes a psychosexual explanation out of that, which im not sure i enjoy. Again the psychosexual has its limits in a play about sexual coercion and rape)

AND THE FACT THAT MERCY IS WHAT SETS YOU FREE, LIKE PROSPERO FORGIVING HIS ENEMIES, ISABELLA FORGIVING ANGELO IS A HERCULEAN FEAT, IT FEELS CLOSE TO GODLINESS IDK MAN. AND I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE TELLS HER BROTHER NO I WONT SLEEP WITH HIM FOR YOUR LIFE BECAUSE ITS RAPE, BUT THEN IS LIKE BE GLAD BEING ALIVE IS SHITTY ANYWAYS. Im like? ISABELLA? WHAT?! ISabella does not know about herself that she can be desired because GOD DOES IT TAKE HER A WHILE TO UNDERSTAND ANGELOS MEANING, and yet shes got such a force for words. I find it hard to think being married to the duke that she wont have some power. 

And the exchange of Angelo and Isabella in the second interview.

-His moral stance on unlawful fornication starts with abortive language, the harsh restrictions but DEVOLVES INTO THE SEXUAL WITH THE INTELLECTUAL DICTION, It becomes a mirror of himself until he is explicit of what he wants from her. (OH GOD TRULY HE GIVES ME NAUSEOUS AND YET THE ONE IN THE PLAY I SAW HE WAS ENTHRALLING I HATE THE RANGE OF THINGS ANGELO CAN MAKE ME FEEL). His mask of morality is slowly removed

-ISABELLA must argue on behalf of her brother, believing in restrictions of the kid angelo speaks of, they believe in restraining oneself to achieve a higher form of being, and yet has to straight up defend something she hates because she loves her brother. And ANGELO CAN SEE IT. I WISH THERE WAS AN AFTERMATH WHERE WE SEE HER USING HER INTELLECT AND WORDS FOR HER ENDS. 

I truly think the second interview scene is one of the best exchanges Billy Shakes wrote. Because it ENDS LIKE THAT. GOD the david tennant one is chilling, the oregon shakespeare festival one is fucked. The 1976 which is the most psychosexual was so intensely disturbing that the Angelo got applause for it. IDK What that means and im too scared to ask. Idk how the RSC managed because youtbe doesnt show me that. The Repurcussion theatre was the most varied array of contradictions for angelo instead of just corrupt judge. It literally is all the shakespeare villains that do the most heinous things that Im like THATS MY FAVE. Iago was just RACISM/Sociopath and fifteen year old me was like YES HIM. I mean Richard III is bad but hes fun. ANGELO AT THE BEST IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR AND YET IM STILL LIKE WOW HOW COMPLEX ALSO THE ACTOR WAS SO GOOD LOOKING AND PLAYING UP THE BDSM BOTTOM ANGLE I WAS GONE. 

And the Isabellas go from wilting lily, to some sort of quiet and reserved girl, and the one i saw was literally “she is tiny but fierce” like her voice was really forceful and i thought it was amazing. 

THIS PLAY IS FUCKED WHEN IT COMES TO THESE READINGS LIVING SIDE BY SIDE BUT BOY IS THIS INTERESTING. 

if you made it this far wow holy shit. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#in which i have a mental breakdown about shakespeare #measure for measure #this is my shame and pride #its a really great play and i wish i was in school to study it academically #but im not so i gotta settle for seeing what harvard english lit says

[hootpoop12]

Ok, Meat route feelings:

Ok, this is...by FAR the superior route just saying. Not. That that is saying much seeing what the candy route was but every time I fall into despair over this I just grit my teeth and think about how parts of meat weren’t terrible pfft

-Lets get the johnrezi out of the way cause that’s kinda my thing. So. Good shit pfft I will admit I was little worried that Calliope and mainly Dirk could have tampered with them a bit but I’m pretty sure for the most part they didn’t? Dirk kinda made John feel weird post coital which kinda pissed me off but other than that. Them feelings 100% legit. These two people genuinely love each other. In both routes John’s thought would ALWAYS drift back to Terezi and Terezi’s only comfort was having John’s body with her after it all. Their romance is both cathartic because they are two MISERABLE people who only have each other to understand their feelings and fucking tragic because in candy all he had was a picture and in meat they had a physical confirmation of their feelings only for it to be voyeur’d and then ripped away by fucking John’s death. If there is more to come- I can only image there is- Terezi and Vriska will hopefully somehow team up and look for a way to revive John. Even If their romance was fleeting like 95% ship in Homestuck their support and care for one another is fucking REAL. It was straight UP the only real thing in Candy and I will fight others who say differently. 

-John going back in time to round everyone up felt weird. For the first time they all really felt like children and them all fighting lord english? WOW. Ouch. Especially Dave?? This Dave was the last to go and in the most brutal fucking way?? Kid had to watch Rose and Jade die and still fought pretty well, though. which goes to show Dave is a fucked up dude but when it comes to shit that needs to get done he can hold his own. Thaaaaaats why Adult Dave in both epilogues kinda grated on me a little? Not to fucking say UGH Dave is now more healed and stable this sucks!! I’m more saying there’s a lot of fics that whumpify Dave into a soft boi who too pure for this world and it slightly reminds me of it. That’s probably more of me just being to attached to MY view and headcanons of Dave, though, and maybe I need to let that go a little? 

-Davekat finally fucking happened. Ten years is too long of a slow burn for me I’m sorry lmao seriously I sound like Dirk when I say this but I really thought they sac’d up during the meteor and were already in a relationship. Dave’s whole conversation with John on the lilypad.......literally sounded like he was in a relationship with Karkat.......what the hell, honestly...........I’m glad it was on Dave’s own volition rather than’s Dirk’s gross as fuck pushing at least.

-That brings us to Dirk. The man who has been making my stomach church whenever I remember. My feelings about him are...............fucking complicated. I’ve been reblogging and bitching about him being “ruined” or whatever but.......That really is the simplified version of what I’ve been thinking. I think.....He’s been corrupted by his aspect or he’s just taking this heel “must be the new villain” too seriously. Like, I fucking despise it when people go off and say Bro was corrupted by Cal or Gamzee was corrupted by literally anything cause those two are just fucking trash, I’m sorry. I think I’m mostly upset by Dirk more than anything because his WHOLE thing was that he was a controlling dude with the potential to become an atrocious man and that he was starting to really take control of his path and work his way into becoming a better person. His talk with Jane on his sacrificial slab? His talk with Dave on the roof..........His heart aspect had begun to bring all his splinters together for his ultimate self and when the majority of your splinters carry a very sociopathic personality..............Man, there was literally no hope for him ever, huh? Literally none. The theme of working towards a better version of yourself is MEANINGLESS if your name is Dirk Strider. A character who struggles with depression, suicide, and absolute self loathing and his only path is this. Become the monster he was always terrified to become. Like I’m straight up about to cry writing this holy shit. Dirk is one of my favorite characters of all time- my FIRST favorite character when reading the comic- one of my MAIN reasons for reading it because I heard there was a canon gay character and I needed that in that time of my life. What almost hurts just as much as Dirk being a good guy and forcefully having this fate thrust upon him is that Roxy, the person Dirk cared about the most,.........Like............misgendering them. and being incredibly flippant and rude about trans stuff.......I can’t even begin to describe how much it hurt to read the character you looked up so much fucking being terrible about something that means so much to you. I’m agender and it just hurt is all I’m saying. This leads back to the bizarre issue of Dirk also being sexist and using gay in a strangely duragatory way. Like, Dirk grew up not really putting values on labels so for him to be weirdly transphobic does lead back to the ideas of this being a corrupted Dirk or him just playing the role of a villain. I do believe there is still the old Dirk we know in there, however, as even now Dirk states he could NOT hurt Dave. So some hope?

-Jake. I’m pretty sure Hussie fucking hates the dude like holy shit lmao......lmao in the least funniest way..............In both route Jake is jerked around like a plaything, having his personality dampened by the oppressive narrative. The one time we see Jake have repreive from such a shitty fate is when he’s talking to davekat about the election. That was the single moment we saw the curtain fall and the “intelligence” reenter the dude. I know this is like the “fanon” version of Jake. Every single character has fallen to that: whumpified Dave, puppet master dirk, bitchy mean jane, ect but litereally reading about him coming back to himself fucking HURT. Him being made to be obsessed with Dirk was so fucking gross I was cringing the entire time. The last few months I’ve been slowly accepting DirkJake back into my heart and this just fucking SHATTERED that warmth holy shit. Jake’s struggles with non-consensual bullshit is really starting to wear me down I just want him to be happy and RESPECTED. 

-Alrighty heavy stuff out of the way I will say this: I read candy first and at the end where Alt!Calliope is speaking to Aradia I had almost no goddamn idea what the fuck she was talking about. I even started to get kinda angry cause Homestuck tends to not take itself TOO seriously? There are some philosopical mind melting shit to read and consider but never too much where it’s incomprehensible to me? So when I finished candy I was like alright. Hussie just wanted to jerk himself off. whatever. Then I read meat and was like. OH. This.......this is actually fantastically interesting I can do this meta bullshit! and despite everything I just said about Dirk..........I fucking MISSED reading in his voice and it caught me off guard SO much which is what I love about Homestuck. There were a lot of tip offs but the one that really stood out to me before finding out was the Jake and Jane makeout. It kept going back to Dirk and I was very surprised by that? Jake sounded like he was over Dirk and yet here he was......unable to stop thinking about it? Shit makes. SO much sense I definitely am gonna reread it to look for other stuff, too. The tug of war via the narrative was incrediably entertaining as well.....Dirk is like a super sensitve incel now (caliborn would be proud) so it was hilarious to see him lose grip of it to Calliope. UGH I’m a little guilty to say it but I’m such a slut for anything Dirk I’m also KINDA looking forward to see where this goes and enjoying him being a villain A LITTLE. I know I sound wish washy but hey sometimes feelings contradict!

#Homestuck #upd8 #Homestuck spoilers #personal #dirk strider #johnrezi

[emathevampire]

🖊

Amanthos is comically bad at hiding the fact that he’s undead… and yet the current party he’s travelling with has yet to call him out on his BS. Like, okay, he’s good enough at passing for living, but only in passing. If you spend more than a couple days with him, you’re more than likely to notice that even for one of his race, he looks a bit off colour. But NO ONE will call him out on ANYTHING, except for the fact that his eating habits (particularly his habit of eating things that are not food and may in fact be literal poison) are setting a bad example for the child they’re trying to cure of an eating disorder. So… here’s how that discussion went (it’s p long so i cut it for space). Victor, Amanthos, and Eridañe are my characters. Gelwyn, Livia, and Shiro belong to my players.

Context: The party has just killed a True Demon and is discussing how best to go about training Eridañe, the hate-spawned demon child they rescued from the Abyss, to fight, since her combat capabilities are pretty unimpressive once you take away the artifact that grants her a variety of terrifically evil spells. Victor and Amanthos are not exactly friends, but they’ll agree that working together will probably be the best option. Victor most begrudgingly, as he is extremely protective of Eridañe and does not like the “small annoying nerd man who smells like a dead hooker.”Shiro: “How many dead hookers have you smelled?”Victor: “Ha ha. Very funny.”Amanthos: “Well? How many?”Eridañe: “What’s a hooker?”Amanthos: “‘Hooker’ is a crass term for a person who—“Livia shoots all of them a dirty look and covers Amanthos’ mouth.Livia: "It’s nothing you need to worry about right now. How about we start your training once we get out of the sewers? Those monsters won’t stand a chance.“Victor: “I won’t tell you when you’re older. Anyway… what else do you know that smells like death and too much perfume? Besides little knife-eared nerds who talk too much for their own good?”Livia, suddenly nervous: “um.. I think that’s just the smell of… his perfume. It’s just… a fancy elven thing. Right Amanthos?”Amanthos, lying his ass off: “I have an intolerance for positive energy, like approximately a third of my race do. Some of the other effects of the affliction unfortunately include that wet corpse smell in humid weather… which I try to mask for the benefit of those around me.”Victor, not buying a single word of it: “Riiiiiiiiight.”Livia: “It’s not his fault he um… has a medical condition?”Victor: “Oh he has a medical condition alright.”Victor: “It’s called being fucking dead.”Amanthos: “HEY! I do NOT fuck the dead!”Gelwyn: “I don’t think that’s what he meant…”Amanthos: “Necrophilia is HIGHLY ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL I would never!”Victor, snickering: “Oh boy, sensitive subject? I see listening comprehension in this party is piss poor.”Amanthos: “…”Eridañe: “We would never piss on the poor!”

Livia: “Would you two stop it! We have enough to worry about without you two fighting!”Victor: “If we were fighting, your little boyfriend would already be dead, kid.”Victor: “But as you can see, he’s still in one piece.”Gelwyn: "No, Eridañe, he didn’t mean that he was pissing ON the poor. In this context, piss is an adjective that is modifying the word ‘poor’. You are correct, though, that we would never piss on the poor. That would be terrible behavior.“Livia, blushing, clearly embarrassed: "I like this conversation more, can we just teach Eridañegrammar for a while?”Victor raises an eyebrow as the smirk on his face grows more pronounced.Eridañe: “I’m… confused.”Gelwyn: “It’s alright, kid, almost no one else in this room gets it either. Remind me when we get out of the sewer to make you another gold star. For the effort.”Eridañe: “Yay! I love gold stars!” She pulls a chewed up wad of gold stars out of her mouth. “More please!”Livia: "Have those been in your mouth this whole time?“Eridañe: “…if i say no, do i get another one?”Livia: “You might get another if you tell the truth.”Victor: “Hey! We talked about this! Only food goes in your mouth!”Gelwyn: “… Ok… Going to have Dimas make the stars from now on. Out of something that’s supposed to go in a mouth.”Livia: “Wait, what are those made of?”Victor sighs exasperatedly: “I don’t know, but it’s better than the broken glass I caught her chewing on yesterday. Or the rusty nails from the day before that. Or just the straight up fucking dirt. Or poison she fished out of a rat trap. I swear I don’t know how she finds these things”Eridañe grins mischievously.Livia looks horrified.Victor: “It’s not funny. Stop that. Don’t you care that you could get seriously hurt?”Livia: “He’s right, if you keep putting stuff like that in your mouth you’re going to get sick or hurt yourself.”Eridañe: “But Amanthos eats whatever he wants all the time! Why can’t I eat paper flowers too???”Amanthos, who has been quietly relieved that the prior conversation had been forgotten up til now, is now caught looking mortified as he tries to subtly exit the conversation. Caught and dragged by the scarf, by Victor, whose eyes are glowing menacingly. Liva steps in-between and tries to separate them, but Victor has already gotten hold of him.Amanthos: “…in my defence, I never knew she was watching?”Victor, growling as he pulls Amanthos’ face up close to his: “Why am I not surprised that the phrase ‘you are what you eat’ is true once again, in the case of the man who apparently eats literal garbage and poison for sport?”Livia, pulling Amanthos away from him: “Eridañe, just because you see someone else eat something they shouldn’t doesn’t mean you can. Why not eat something that tastes better than glass or dirt?”Eridañe: “Food is evil, or it tastes bad and hurts you… why don’t you eat things that aren’t evil?”Eridañe: “If it tastes bad and hurts you, it’s not evil!”Livia: “Food definitely isn’t evil, where did you hear that?”Eridañe: “…i just know it.”Livia: “Would you believe me if I said I could find you food that is 100% evil free?”Eridañe: “Yes. But only if it looks gross, smells bad, tastes bad, and feels bad. The opposite things are evil and make you a bad person if you eat them.”Livia looks very confused and looks up at the party.Victor: “Wait a minute is this why you won’t eat vegetables? Because you think they’ll taste good?”Amanthos: “Fascinating…” Victor glares at him.Gelwyn: “Ok, new plan. When we get out of here and get all the pressing matters taken care of, we’re gonna have us a celebratory dinner. Think we’ve earned it. And we can use this as an opportunity to demonstrate some proper eating habits. I’ll ask that you trust me on this, kid, but you’ll find eating properly is a surprisingly important part of Stabbing Evil Things.”Eridañe: “But I am eating properly! You’re the ones that are wrong…”Gelwyn: “Let’s think about it this way. Who’s better at stabbing things, me or you?”Eridañe, smugly: “Me. You slash things.”Amanthos: “She does have you there.”Victor: “NOT helping.”Gelwyn shoves his greatsword straight though the dead Vermin Lord’s body.Gelwyn: “Ok. Who’s better at stabbing. Me or you?”Eridañe proceeds to do the same, and then pulls her rapier out the other side with mage hand. Eridañe: “ME.”Amanthos: “Okay, hold up, can we not desecrate a corpse please?!”Gelwyn frowns, and redirects his next attack into the stone wall, burying the adamantine blade in to the hilt. Gelwyn: “Me, or you?”Victor: “Kids, please, you’re both very good at stabbing, but can we remember basic sword safety before things—“Eridañe uses true strike to shove the rapier all the way into the wall through a crack in the brick.Victor: “—get out of hand???”Amanthos: “Oh no, why would we ever stop anything before it got out of hand. Fights, insults, whatever this devolved into… no, let us absolutely keep going until someone gets hurt or says something they regret.”Gelwyn: “Quiet Large Children, we are in the middle of a lesson. You can bicker by yourselves. So how far into the stone did you get, Eridañe?”Eridañe proudly shows that she got it all the way to the hilt, she just used the dexterity method as opposed to brute forcing it.Gelwyn: “Yes. And your blade is shorter than mine.”Victor: “She’s also much smaller than you are.”Gelwyn: “And if she wants to sass me with semantics, I’m going to call her on technicalities.”Victor: “Large children? I’m not the one engaging in pissing contests.”Amanthos nods. Victor yells at him to stop agreeing with him.Gelwyn: “That is literally what you and Amanthos were just doing. I’m attempting to demonstrate the virtues of proper eating habits. Stop interrupting.”Victor begins to open his mouth to contradict him, but stops and just glowers quietly in his general direction instead.Eridañe: “It’s not fair though! Your sword is bigger than mine! You’re cheating!”Gelwyn: “Here, you can use my sword then.”Eridañe: “No, you use mine so it’s fair.”Gelwyn: “If I used your sword, it’s probably going to break. You can use my sword without worry, though. Much stronger metal.”Eridañe: “No I can’t. It’s the wrong shape.”Gelwyn: “Because you aren’t good enough at stabbing yet.”Victor: “She’s not proficient with anything else yet… she is actually being honest. She’s not a proper fighter, she never trained with anything else.”Gelwyn: “Yes. So I’m the better stabber. Which she needs to admit.”Victor: “Arguably, yes, however not in a way she can meaningfully correct without a long delay in her training. And also not in a way that eating healthy will necessarily fix. Eating properly will help her use her own sword better, not let her use whatever sword she wants.”Eridañe: “If you’re better with my sword than me, then I’ll believe you. But nobody is better at stabbing than me! Nobody!”Amanthos: “I would take this challenge but something gives me this funny feeling I am already in enough trouble…”Victor: “Yes you are. Now sit down and shut up.”Gelwyn: “Ok, I’m going to abandon my demonstration, ‘cause nobody seems to be getting the point… Which was that part of the reason I’m so good at stabbing is because I make sure to eat properly. As good as you are, Eridañe, if you made sure to eat properly, you’d find it even easier. Is that something EVERYONE HERE CAN AGREE ON?!”Amanthos, Livia, and Victor all look down sheepishly and nod in agreement, along with quiet murmurs of “Yes, eat actual food, please…”Amanthos: “I… did not know that the habits I found tedious and exhausting to maintain were having an adverse effect on the most vulnerable members of our team. I failed to realise that keeping up with this particular one was a necessity for more reasons than the obvious ones. You have my sincerest apologies, and I promise to do better about it in the future.”Gelwyn: “Thank you… Now I need to sharpen my blade when we get out. Eridañe, you should let me check your sword, too. Metal weapons don’t hold up long against stone, even Adamantine and Mithril. Weapon maintenance is pretty much the "Eat properly” of swords.“Victor: “Oh, so now you think about that! Why do you think I was trying to get you two to cut that shit out in the first place?!”Amanthos, grinning: “Well, it is no wonder they failed to comply. Cutting would have been contrary to the objective of the contest they were engaged in.”Victor: “…I hate you.”Amanthos: “I know.”

In character, Amanthos is relieved that he’s gone this long without having to explain anything to the paladin, and that they’ve all been gullible enough to go along with the excuses he makes. He’s secretly honestly thinking he’s getting away with it. Out of game, however, me the DM is just like “HELLO? MAKE HIM TALK, DAMMIT!”

They’ve had every opportunity to interrupt one of his 8-hour bubble baths and find this nonsense happening. They’ll have more than enough opportunity to ask why, when told to restrain enemies until they can be questioned, he tied them up with black silk rope and chains in a way that implies he only has ranks in Use Rope for kinky shenanigans. They have every reason to question his motives and his character. But they won’t. I’ve been reduced to having other NPCs ask the obvious questions because the gang is so incredibly resistant to my attempts to quietly stir up drama. I am literally dying over here begging my players to make him spill the tea, while Amanthos sits at the table sipping it smugly and feeling altogether far too pleased with himself.

#this is like way more than was ever reasonably called for by the ask prompt but you know #ive been looking for an excuse to post an excerpt from the RP Logs #now that i actually have people engaging with me when i try to start em #took me a while to copy/paste/edit everything to be readable but i dont know when to quit so #have a massive dialogue i guess #rixa writes #rixa's rants #Amanthos Panideios #arathergrimreaper