#this lunar new year will be one of many new things... I have to give red envelopes now... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

straykeedz · 7 months

Text

day 10: lee know + rimming

©straykeedz

tw: switch!minho; kind of softdom!reader; oral sex (m receiving); minho has a big d but what’s new; balls play (??? idk if it’s a thing); hints at subspace (minho) and aftercare; ♡

wc: 2,3k;

this is part of my kinktober masterlist. you can find my regular masterlist here (tho it will not be updated until the end of kinktober) ♡

🔖 (open): @linos-kitten ; @luneskies ; @kxcies-blog ; @idunnomanmynamewastaken ; @cessixja ; @stolasisyourparent ; @kookiesbunny ; @xoxo-xoxo-bunny ; @ivyskzsworld ; @mal-lunar-28 ; @leetaste ; @sunnykynnie ; @channiesgoodgirl ; @seonghwatoothless ; @mrsminho ; @seungminluv3 ; @jin-from-the-block ; @aaasia111 ; @sulkygyu ; @whosanaanyway ; @y-ur--I ; @vixensss ; @nightimescapes ; @freckleboilix ; @dreamingaboutjisung ; @yourbeomiebear ; ♡

to make sure i add you to the taglist, your age must be clearly visible on your profile. also, empty blogs will not be added - add at least a profile picture to your blog so that i’ll know you’re not a bot. ♡

smut below the cut, minors dni.

☁︎

The relationship you have with Minho is a relationship of mutual teaching, and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Throughout your nearly four years of dating, he taught you many things.

He taught you to cook his favorite dishes, spent hours with you in the kitchen, explaining step by step all you had to do, reading the recipe out loud and helping you with the ingredients. Laughing when you didn’t get the result you were hoping for, hugging you and kissing your pouting lips, reminding you that “practice makes perfect, jagiya”, but tasted your dishes nonetheless - even though they tasted pretty fucking awful.

He taught you how to assemble a tent in the woods and how to remove the pegs when it was time to go. To be fair, he also taught you how to survive in the woods - telling you curious anecdotes that could save your life in case you ever found yourself camping alone and in need of help - highly unlikely, really, but it was nice hearing him talk about something he’s so passionate about.

He taught you how to take care of his three cats - Soonie, Doongie, Dori -, explaining to you that each of them has different needs and likes different things. He taught you how each one of them likes to be petted or which toy they prefer - and in record time you earned his babies’ affection.

He taught you how he likes to be cuddled when he’s feeling low. This one, he did indirectly. Each time he’d come home after a bad day, he’d want nothing more than to lay in your arms. He’d rest his body on top of yours - in a non-sexual way -, resting his head on top of your chest, enveloping you in his arms. He’d want you to wrap your legs around his waist and run your hand through his hair. Bonus point if you kiss him on top of his head from time to time - he’d never ask you, tho -.

He taught you how he likes to be touched down there. He’d want you to start by teasing him over the clothes, palming the growing bulge in his pants. Then, he’d want you to wrap your hand around his length and give it a single stroke. He wants to be kissed as you touch him. Not all the time, just a few pecks on the lips here and there. Then, he’d want you to move your hand faster, but not too fast. He likes it when you squeeze his member, especially when you reach the tip - and if you play with his balls with your other hand… mwah, chef’s kiss, he’d cum in record time.

He also taught you to love and to believe yourself. It was a long and definitely not easy, a rollercoaster of emotions, but he never gave up. Showed you everyday his unconditional love and support, loved you for all your qualities and even more for your flaws, embracing them. Reminded you of how much he loves your body whenever you were feeling insecure and self conscious about a certain body part - making soft love to you in front of you bedroom mirror, whispering soft words in your ear.

Minho never explicitly thanked you - but you taught him a lot of things, too.

For starters, you taught him how to swim. Or, at least, not to sink. Took your time with him and didn’t force him into anything if you sensed he wasn’t ready. You never let go of his hand when he finally convinced himself to entering the water. A kids’ pool is still a pool, after all. “Baby steps.”, you’d said, kissing the tip of his nose.

You taught him how to braid you hair. It took him a long while, but now he’s become pretty good at it - even better than you if you were to be honest. Then, you taught him how you love it when he pulls it while he’s giving it to you from the back.

You taught him to love the scar on his stomach - the scar he doesn’t show anyone, the one he keeps covered all the time. You’d noticed it the first time you saw each other naked - how he’s self conscious about it. He was scared you wouldn’t like it, that you’d think of it as a turn off. Instead, you smiled at him and placed a series of soft kisses all over it while repeating “You’re so perfect” all over again - and then, you gave him the blowjob of his life.

You taught him the difference between having a big dick and having a big dick energy, and he learned he has both.

You taught him that communication is key - especially in a long-term relationship. You taught him to get in touch with his emotions, to embrace and to accept them - that it’s not healthy to bottle up his feelings and that it’s best if he speaks up when something’s bother him. “We’re a family, whatever’s wrong we’ll fix it together”, you’d said - and from that moment on, he never kept a single thing to himself. Needless to say, your relationship improved a lot.

Last but not least - you taught him that it’s important to let go sometimes. To just relax, sit back and enjoy things, that he doesn’t have to be in control all the time. You chose a peculiar way to teach him that, he has to admit.

It started with a blowjob and him sprawled on your shared bed.

It had been a long day for Minho - one of those days when life decides to just be a bitch with no apparent reason. He’d come home frustrated over the dance practice he’d had with the guys, mad at himself that, despite trying hard, he still couldn’t learn the fucking choreography, and nearly sprained his ankle. Given that the twenty minute long shower he took didn’t make him feel any better, there was only one option left.

His head buried in the pillow and his lip between his teeth - Minho was having the time of his life with your mouth around his hard cock. Moreover, his mind was completely blank. Empty. Not a single thought distracting him from what was taking place in the semi-darkness of your bedroom. He entangled his fingers in your hair, pushing you down on his cock until you had most of his length in your mouth - actually, in your throat. Another thing he taught you - how to deepthroat that massive cock of his without gagging nor choking on it.

“Like that, jagiya.”, he moaned, pushing your head closer to his groin, your nose pressed against the skin of his lower abdomen. Then, he lifted his hips to meet your mouth. “You know how much I like it when you act like a slut for my cock.”, he grunted. You moaned around his length, aroused by his words.

“You can’t get enough of it, do you?”, he thrusted his cock inside your mouth once again, and you did your best breathing through your nose while trying to stuff all of his length inside of you. “Of course not, you love this cock, don’t you?”, you tried your best to nod, but it was really fucking hard with a seven-inches dick shoved down your throat.

“I love you so much.”, he groaned. “You’re so good to me - letting me use your mouth when you know I’ve had a rough day.”, he gripped your hair tighter. “Makin’ me forget everything…”

That’s when you released him from your mouth. He looked panicked for a second, worried he’d accidentally hurt you or been too rough. He hadn’t, of course, you just had a better idea in mind. One that, hopefully, would help him relax even more.

“How bad did you say your day was?”, you placed a kiss on his inner thigh, hand lazily pumping his cock.

“On a scale from one to ten?”, he asked.

“Mh-hm.”

“A solid nine.”, he let out a heavy sigh. “Why?”

You placed a series of kisses that went from his inner thigh to his groin, teeth delicately brushing his skin, then licked the underside of his shaft. He shivered.

“I can help you relax.” Another lick.

“You’re already helping me relax, jagi.” Minho pointed out. “And you’re doing a pretty good job at it.”, he caressed your temple with his thumb, looking you in the eye.

“Yeah, well… I can do an even better job.”, you said confidently.

Minho quirked an eyebrow at you, clearly intrigued by your proposition. “Well, then. I’m all yours.”, he bit his lower lip, smirking at you.

“Just… relax and enjoy. Let me do all the work.”

You kept on kissing the sensitive skin of his groin with his hard shaft in your hand, neglecting it, not giving it any attention, and for a solid minute there, Minho was beyond confused - but he didn’t say anything. However, his cheeks flushed red when the tip of your nose brushed the skin of his balls - his weak spot.

“Please.”, the word came out as a whisper, as if he didn’t want to say it out loud and it just slipped.

You smirked cockily, your other hand caressing his inner thigh as you repeated your previous motion, earning a desperate sigh from Minho. Then, you released his hard cock from your grip, letting it slap on his abdomen, and gently cupped his balls with the palm of your hand. This time, he let out a high-pitched sound. “You like it when I play with you balls like this, don’t you?”, you teased, although you already knew the answer.

“Yes- yes, I love it.” Minho whimpered. “Need more.”

“More?”, you repeated, placing an open-mouthed kiss on his inner thigh while you kept playing with his balls, gently squeezing them, knowing well that it drove him crazy. You knew what he wanted - you just wanted him to say it.

“Yes, please.”, he whined.

“What do you need me to do?”

His cheeks turned incredibly red as he swallowed the lump in his throat before whispering - “In your mouth. Please.”

You decided to give him exactly what he’d so diligently asked for, without teasing him further. After all, your mission was to make him feel good and to get him relaxed. So you moved your mouth from his thigh to his balls, placing a soft kiss on his sensitive skin before sticking your tongue out and licking. He kicked his head back and rolled his eyes in the back of his skull at the feeling - familiar, but at the same time never the same.

By the time you put them in your mouth he was already a shivering mess under your touch, and he could already feel the familiar, warm feeling in his stomach, signaling that his orgasm was approaching, even if from just a simple touch. Your saliva was dripping all over his balls, so you stuck your tongue out to lick it off, brushing against the sensitive skin between his balls and rim in the process - and boy, Minho didn’t even know he was capable of letting out such a high-pitched sound.

“Oh, my-“, he was cut off by you, placing your tongue flat on his rim, widening his eyes as he could feel his legs starting to tremble.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”, you snapped your head in his direction, looking him in the eye. Him being comfortable with this was what mattered the most to you, and no matter how much you were enjoying this - which was a lot -, if Minho didn’t feel like it, you’d stop immediately.

“I don’t…”, even his ears were red now. “I don’t want you to stop.”, he admitted, flustered.

You smirked, before placing your tongue back on his hole. This was new territory for both of you - although you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before.

“Spread your legs wider, baby.”, you instructed, tapping on his knee with your fingers.

He obeyed, giving you full access to his most intimate parts, now fully exposed to you. You collected some of your saliva in your mouth before letting it drip directly onto his tight hole, still very much unexplored, and then latched your mouth on it, using your tongue to spread it all over.

Minho fisted the sheets beneath him so hard his knuckles turned white - the feeling was too overwhelming in the best way possible, and he was pretty sure he was going to cum practically untouched. Well, without having his cock touched, at least - but it was gonna be worth it. Your tongue circled his hole a few times before you closed your lips around it while lapping at it.

“I’m so close.”, he whimpered, chest rising as he panted heavily, toes already curling as he flexed the muscles of his thighs, on the verge of his orgasm.

Your fingers on his balls was the final straw for him. His body trembled as he released, shooting his load onto his stomach as he let a series of high-pitched whimpers and incoherent words fall from his lips. Of all of the orgasms Minho had experienced - this was without a doubt the most intense and mind-blowing, practically sending him to another dimension.

He lay there for a while, taking deep breaths as he came off of his high, feeling extremely light all of a sudden - absolutely no trace of worries or problems or frustration in his mind.

“Baby?”, you called him by his pet name.

“Hm?”, a faint hum was all he manage to get out, not even able to open his eyes. So, so relaxed and light, his whole body felt jelly.

“C’mon, baby, let’s get you cleaned up and then off to bed.”, you kissed his temple softly.

“Mmm, ‘kay. Love you.”, he slurred his words.

Yeah - Minho learned that day that maybe it’s okay not to be in control of everything for once and just live the moment.

☁︎

-> reblog to support me if you enjoyed reading my works and to let me know your thoughts, i love reading your feedbacks! ♡

#lee know smut #lee know hard hours #lee know hard thoughts #stray kids smut #skz #stray kids #skz smut #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #skz hard hours #skz hard thoughts #minho smut #minho hard thoughts #minho hard hours #lee minho smut #lee minho hard hours #lee minho hard thoughts

442 notes · View notes

lilithgreye · 3 months

Text

Predictive Astrology: How it works

Predictive astrology is a form of astrology that can help you predict things in your future. There are many different methods, but the most popular ones I will be discussing today are transits, planetary and luminary returns, solar return charts, lunar return charts, chart progressions, house rulers, and annual profections. Here is an explanation of what they all are along with some examples to help you have a deeper understanding:

Transits are aspects from the current chart to your natal chart which show how the current chart’s energy is effecting us. They can be used to predict events days, weeks, months, or even years ahead of time. Transits show predictions for the emotions, challenges, or events of an individual day

⋆ ★ | A Moon square Saturn transit can indicate having a challenging time emotionally that day

⋆ ★ | Venus transiting your 7th house can indicate a good day for romance or a new long term relationship beginning that day

⋆ ★ | A Venus opposite Neptune transit can indicate lies being told in a relationship that day

Your progressed chart/chart progressions, also known as secondary progressions, equate one day after birth to one year of life. It is believed that they reflect the evolution of your personality over time. This is the best method for predicting what your emotions will be like during certain time periods and the internal emotions you will go through

⋆ ★ | I personally have noticed during the time my progressed moon is in Cancer I’ve been extremely emotional and cried a lot more than usual

⋆ ★ | Your Progressed Moon in the 2nd house can indicate your soul having an extreme focus on material things and money

Annual profections are one of the oldest predictive astrology techniques used and personally one of my faves. Everyone has the same houses in the same years but different planetary rulers in each house depending on their rising sign

⋆ ★ | During your 1st house years there can be a major changes in your appearance

⋆ ★ | During a Mars, 5th house, or 8th house profection year you are more likely to have an active sex life or lose your virginity if you haven’t already

⋆ ★ | During 10th house years, Jupiter years, or Venus years you can gain a lot more success and wealth

Luminary/planetary returns calculate the exact moment, when a particular planet returns on the same birth position and can show energies/events that will occur during that time

⋆ ★ | Your Saturn returns are typically the most challenging times in your life. Some people say if you are Saturn dominant then it won’t have as strong of an effect though since you’re already used to the energy

⋆ ★ | Your Jupiter returns can indicate time periods you’ll have/gain lots of success and abundance in life

Solar return charts are one of my fave methods in astrology for predicting the main themes and events that happen in your year. Everyone has annual solar return chart’s each year — src tut

⋆ ★ | A Leo rising can indicate gaining fame or being very popular where you live this year

⋆ ★ | Jupiter in the 10th house in solar return can indicate getting a promotion, gaining career success, or gaining wealth from your career this year

⋆ ★ | A Libra/Taurus rising can indicate getting into a new relationship or a main theme of your year involving romance/love this year

⋆ ★ | An Aquarius/Libra stellium can mean you’ll make lots of friends this year

Lunar return charts are monthly charts similar to solar return charts except they show monthly themes rather than yearly ones

⋆ ★ | Capricorn/Aquarius stelliums may indicate isolating yourself during the month

⋆ ★ | Uranus in the 1st or 11th house can indicate making new friends during the month

⋆ ★ | Venus in Pisces can indicate having a good love life during the month

House rulers can be found in your natal chart and give deeper insight on a houses topics than the planets/sign in the house itself — hr tut

⋆ ★ | The house your 10th house ruler is in gives future insight on your long term career

⋆ ★ | The house your 7th house ruler is in can tell about your future spouse and how you’ll meet them — here is my post about it

#predictive astrology #predictions #astrology #astrology blog #astrology chart #birth chart #astrology community

197 notes · View notes

q1ngqve · 2 months

Note

Your aventio fic got me in a chokehold and now I'm frothing??? I'm being tormented by the same principal but with Jing Yuan and Dan Heng. Reader being the anxious babe that they are avoiding them at ALL costs outside nessasary things since they don't think that their pursuit is genuine (or that they're pretty or smart enough to be with them) Anti-stalking x 100. Like "hello??? The GENERAL and IMBIBITOR LUNE, interested in me??? Sounds fake af" but their also secretly down bad as well, and having bracelets corresponding to them at all times? A subtle marking of their claim over you by your own volition would probably stir something within them.

I'd think the general would enjoy the hunt while Dan Heng tries to not but can't help but be lured in by readers sweetness. A hidden archive dedicated to you is kept by Dan Heng and updated regularly, Jing Yuan sends his retainer to check up on you from time to time. And if they discover what the other is doing??? Would they team up? Mayhaps, and If so, good luck since you have a LION and a DRAGON, pursuing you. Isn't that perfect? But good luck, once your in their grasp you are not leaving untill the only thing you can remember is their names.

I'd find it even funnier if they got access to their fanfic reading list. For me that's sacred but for them it'd be a GOLD MINE, especially when it comes to readers kinks (praise kinks, marking??? Oral??? Oh~ breeding? Now thats jnteresting) WHAT ABOUT THE FANFICS WRITTEN BY XIANZHOU NATIVES??? BRUH READER HAVING SO MANY FEATURING THEM SAVED AND HAVE WRITTEN SOME THEMSELVES CONFIRMS THE FEELING ARE MUTUAL.

Waiting untill the perfect time, they pounce. Conveniently bumping into Dan Heng during the Lunar Festival celebrations and making small talk before the General bumps into the two before suggesting getting food to celebrate the new year's. Timidly excepting the rimvife dinner goes normally untill it doesn't. The restaurant is small yet not busy despite the festivities. (they call reader nicknames (darling) that were used in readers fanfic that make reader flush) (giving genuine praise and watching them flush. Eventually Dan Heng suggest staying at the attached inn due to how crowded it is Outside " oh no! There's only one room remaining! I guess wr have to share a room. How unfortunate." 🤔 and thus all three end up getting one conveniently large private suite.

Once the door is closed they Sandwich reader between the two as Jing Yuan and Dan Heng confess their feelings, trapping reader so they dont run away. When reader objects, Flustered and in disbelif Jing Yuan cant help but tease about their "little findings" while Dan Heng eyes the bracelets on their arms. Posessiebess blooming at the epiphany of the btacelets meanings as their vidyahara traits peak out. If the insecurities come out to? Then they'll have to make sure that reader (and their body) remembers their love by devouring them whole.

( Even better if those findings are used against reader. Awe is their darling shy? And theyre tryjng to muffle their moans and hide their face? Don't worry, those two make sure reader drowns in so such pleasure that it'll be the furthest thing from their prettty little mind)

If reader ends up cover in marks almost impossible to hide and unable to walk for days after and having to be carried out of the suite the next day? Then that's none of our business.

(Sorry if this is long, I'm frothing at the mouth and losing my mind. That aventio fic has rewired my brain in the best way possible and I need to get this out of my mind ajdbdhdindkdn)

✒️

hello anon…? you are so big brained and for what 🤭ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི i had a good time gobbling this shit up

#this is a whole fic on its own 🤭#✒️ anon!!!!!#hsr #honkai star rail #jing yuan #dan heng #jing yuan x reader #dan heng x reader

108 notes · View notes

nardo-headcanons · 3 months

Text

National Holidays in the Ninja Villages + Bonus

I've had this idea in mind for a while, and now I finally got to write it down. Feel free to use these for your own works. Please tag me so I can read em all! <33

Iwagakure: The Lunar Lights of Gratitude The moon has a special place in the heart of every Iwa citizen. To them, it is a part of the earth, now observing its mother body from space. So naturally, the spectacle of a blue/super moon is a special occasion in Iwagakure. To honor and greet the moon, which is actually called "daughter" in the earth country's language, large fireworks are organized every new moon after a blue moon. As previously established, the earth country's firework industry is the largest, which Iwa shinobi are very proud of. Lighting the sky on fire and turning night into daytime is the Iwa way of giving back some of the light that the moon gives us at night.

Kirigakure: The Moonshine Sea Festival Despite the rivalry between the land of earth and the land of water, there is one thing they have in common, which is their spiritual connection to the moon and space. To water country citizens, especially the fishermen, the moon is a protector and guardian of the night, along with the stars. They strengthen the their connection to their biggest source of both faith and fear: the sea. The special climate in the water country, combined with its great biodiversity give a great habitat for biolumescent plankton, turning the sea itself into a starry night sky. It is one of the only pieces of culture that has been preserved, since the celebration itself was founded by the water country's union of fishermen, who don't belong to a particular clan with a kekkei genkai; most of the kekkei genkai wielders in Kiri have been wiped out, along with their culture, traditions and religions.

Sunagakure: Winter's Return The wind country is often ravaged by agonozingly hot summers, sand storms and heat waves are not a rarity in this country. While foreigners might groan and roll their eyes at the thought of the return to cold, foggy winter days, in Sunagakure it is a day for celebration. On the day where the sun stays for the longest, in the middle of the year, a large celebration is held across the nation. The way it is celebrated is different from family to family, and every Suna family is convinced that their way is the right one. Typically, markets are closed the whole day, and any missions rank B or below are halted for the day.

Kumogakure: Whale Festival of Generosity During winter, whales can be found emigrating along the lightning country's coast line, towards the land of iron. This holiday once came to be to celebrate the whales emigration towards a more prosperous habitat to mate and provide enough food for their young - a truly generous gesture. Over the years, many kumo shinobi have forgotten the old tale behind this festival, and it has turned into more of a mere gift giving occasion. And yet, it is widely popular and celebrated throughout the whole country.

Konoha: Cherry and Plum Blossom Viewing In Konoha, Hanami is annually celebrated. It is a custom celebrating the transitionary nature of cherry and plum blossoms blooming in spring.

BONUS: Uchiha Clan Honoring one's ancestors and traditions is of high importance to the Uchiha. Every year, on a clear fall night, the whole clan gathers together to light up little candles using their katon. The tealights are arranged in the Uchiha crest and left to light up the night and the clan share the evening together eating dinner, drinking hot tea and praying at the nakano shrine.

That's all, folks!

#naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto headcanons #naruto scenarios #naruto imagines #naruto fanfiction #headcanons #naruto meta #naruto worldbuilding #worldbuilding #konohagakure #kirigakure #iwagakure #kumogakure #sunagakure #uchiha #uchiha clan

89 notes · View notes

slavic-roots-western-mind · 2 months

Text

Breakfast foods in China

Since arriving in China my typical breakfast has changed quite a lot (hello baozi and mung bean paste!) so I decided to explore some common local breakfast foods eaten in China!

包子 - Bāozi (my love) These have been an almost consistent (excluding the lunar new year when the canteens and most cafes and restaurants closed) staple of my breakfast ever since I arrived in China. They come with several fillings such as veggie, pork, seafood etc. and they can cooked in different ways such as being steamed, fried etc. Here's a more in-depth post about the types of dumplings and bāo.

粥 - Porridge (zhōu) I sometimes have porridge for lunch instead and it's a really filling meal. I get the Century Egg Congee with Chicken - 皮蛋瘦肉粥 (Pídàn shòu ròu zhōu) and it's one of my all time favourite meals.

煎饼 - Egg pancake (jiānbing) Popular also as a street food, this is a thin crepe type pancake with an egg, veggie, spice, sauce and sometimes meat filling. The actual filling varies as you can customize what veggies and spice level you'd like and whether or not you want meat.

热干面 - Hot and dry noodles (règānmiàn) I honestly had no idea about this dishes existence until a while ago, probably because it's a regional dish originating from Wuhan which is kind of far away from my location. These are spicy and dried noodles which are actually eaten without a broth unlike many other noodles. They seem pretty interesting so if anyone tried them before do share your experience!

桂林米粉 - Guilin Rice noodles (guìlín mĭfĕn) This appears to be another regional dish from Guilin, Guanxi as I had no idea that this was a also a pretty popular breakfast dish. Apparently it's not the noodles but rather the broth that they're cooked in that makes them special, with the actual recepie varying across the region. Someone should do a long weekend trip vlog (pondering on this) to Guilin where they just go from store to store trying these noodles and trying to determine the differences.

葱油饼 - Scallion oil pancake (cōngyŏubĭng) A tasty but heavy-ish pancake imo. These pancakes are cooked with scallions (green onion) and pan-fried to give it that crispy and chewy texture. Very tasty, but it's a little too heavy on the oil for me so I save these pancakes for special occasions instead.

豆浆油条 - Soy milk and deep-fried dough sticks (dòujiāng yóutiáo) I have tried the dough sticks, and I have tried soya milk but separately so far. The dough sticks are these long deep-friend dough sticks, reminding me slightly of breadsticks but more lighter and chewier.

茶鸡蛋 - Tea eggs (chájīdàn) I adore these, my canteen serves them along with regular eggs for breakfast and the tea eggs are usually the first to go. They actually don't really involve tea, instead these eggs are cooked in a mixture of chinese five-spice powder (pepper, cloves, cinnamon, star anise and fennel seeds), soy sauce, and black tea leaves, although some recipes leave out the tea leaves. They have a relatively strong smell so I usually grab some for breakfast on the weekends or in the canteen at lunch if there are any leftover after breakfast. They are also quite cheap, one egg is around 2 yuan so around 0.30 euro, making them a pretty filling and affordable breakfast food.

If there are any other common or specific breakfast foods that you know of, do share them please as I love trying out new things!

85 notes · View notes

jooniperbonsai · 12 days

Text

I'll Give You the Sun (jhs) | Part One

Pairing: SunDeity!Hoseok x MoonDeity!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Part One Length: 10.6k

Release Date: Fri, April 19, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, fantasy au, royalty, mythology

Summary: Fated to fulfill an ancient prophecy claiming he will ascend into a curse-breaking hero on the day of his kingdom’s first total solar eclipse, Hoseok is jaded and cynical over his lack of choice in becoming the king and god of the Solar Kingdom. He’s even less pleased that his coronation is to be shared with the future king of the Lunar Kingdom, whose clear obsession with power is already a sign of trouble ahead.

But when the moon fully overtakes the sun and bathes everything in darkness, the ascension of gods and kings doesn’t seem to be all that the fates prophesied. With you now coming out of the shadows to claim your rightful title, the pressure is on for the two of you to break this curse together, before it completely destroys your two kingdoms.

Warnings: Swearing, physical aggression, low self-esteem, implied emotional and physical abuse, dirty talk, grinding/thigh riding, dom! hoseok already making himself known

a/n: yayyyyy welcome to the new series! may sun deity hobi be as adored by you as he is by me. You can look forward to Part 2 where we meet our y/n very soon. -h

He can hear her shuffling down the hall. His mother. No doubt draped in the silky, long golden cape that shines as she passes by every sunny window. He doesn’t need to look at her to know that she’s wearing it. That, or her crown, pointed at all sides in honor of the many ancestral deities who have served the stars before, whose power and strength created the very particles of the universe. He also doesn’t need to look to know she’s heading directly toward his chamber, seeking Hoseok out.

He knows she is, because he was supposed to be in the Great Hall an hour ago to go over his coronation and is instead sitting out on his balcony, looking up at the moon high in the sky despite it being one in the afternoon.

“Hoseok,” his mother echos from his doorway, breathless and exasperated.

“I know,” he calls back. He knows he’s due for a lecture, but because his mother is impatient, because the entire palace and kingdom and evidently the entire fucking universe is impatient for their prince to become a king, and with that title, a god, there’s no time for a lecture.

He takes one last look up at the sky, the pebbled moon inching ever closer, and scowls before retreating back indoors.

If Hoseok had things his way, he would seek out whichever god before him who uttered his prophecy to ascend to the throne and burn him with all the power of the Sun he is so called the god of. Apollo, Ra, Helios, Tsohanoai, Sol, Tai Yang Xing Jun, whoever it was who caused this, who murmured his message before the fates, he is probably laughing at Hoseok as his mother clucks at him and pinches away invisible specks of lint from his pristine suit.

“Your father wants to see you before we begin.”

“I thought the party was already under way,” he mutters, his mother cocking an eyebrow at him.

“It is, which I now take it you are staunchly avoiding instead of simply losing track of time like I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt for.”

“Eomma, you know I don’t want to do this. I have told you so for years. I don’t want to be king. I don’t want to be a god.”

“Yes, but the fates decided it so. They chose you over your sister, and this means whether there’s a party or not, it’s going to happen. You might as well enjoy the food and music and make the best of it.” With a sigh, she adjusts the heady gilded crown pinned to her head and strolls out of Hoseok’s chamber, leaving behind the faint note of her jasmine perfume.

Hoseok knows he can’t hide here forever. He knows that once the total eclipse occurs in a matter of hours, he will be thrust into a life of duty. And not soon after he ascends, he also knows that he will be expected to begin courting someone. That is another matter entirely, one he is not going to even entertain today.

He’s not opposed to marriage or courting, not in the slightest. His elder sister married a few years ago, a marriage that gives structure and stability. Her husband clearly loves her, and Hoseok enjoys when he sees his brother-in-law when they visit during the summer months, when the days stretch into nights and for a little while, the state of things feels less cursed and oppressive.

They often have long, decadent dinners in the back garden, surrounded by the low hum of the bees as they move from sunflower to sunflower (his mother’s favorite). The summer months are coming, which means soon Hoseok will feel a little bit more like himself. Why wouldn’t he want to spend time with someone, to enjoy strawberries straight from the garden and walk along the river with the one he courts?

All of these things are exactly what he wants.

Or he used to, anyway. He glances at the mirror above his vanity, his black hair already losing some of its hold despite only being styled a handful of hours ago. Normally, it doesn’t do that. Normally, once set into place, he appears as the precise and put-together person in the room.

But today, he realizes, is not normal.

In his lifetime, there has never been a total solar eclipse over his kingdom. Which is why in many ways, today is the beginning of the end, as today he will fulfill his destiny within the prophecy:

On the Eve of day, the day of night,

when the moon fully captures the sun’s light

over the House of the ones who worship the rays,

will an alliance occur that pleases the fates:

Two kingdoms will gain what they most need

after long years of suffering from past gods’ greed.

From the cliffs off the shore where the sky hangs low,

will come the fated one crowned with a moonlit halo.

And from the flowering valleys where the rolling hills run,

will come the destined one crowned with the beams of the sun.

The shadows shattering during the fifteenth hour

shall bestow these two souls with ultimate power.

The moon stepping forward with nothing to hide

is burdened not by the sin of pride

nor the sun is he plagued by the darkness above,

but balanced with allegiance, passion, and love.

United these two the fates will regard

with the highest of honor among the stars.

What was once divided now becomes one,

with the all sacred moon and almighty sun.

And together these two blessed by the heavens’ ring,

will end the curse of the promised false king.

He can recite the entire thing by heart. It is a prophecy that echoes in his oldest memories, ones when he could scarcely understand the phrases coded within, but recognized the cadence of over time as it swirled into words he one day understood. It was read on his tenth birthday as he watched the red wax of his “10” candle slide down the pillar and onto the buttercream frosting of his cake, the red upon white almost looking like blood. It was read at weddings, graduations, all a reminder of the great hope that is to come.

Even then he knew it to be less of its intended blessing and more of a curse dooming him to follow its guidelines, to be “balanced with allegiance, passion, and love”. Hoseok doesn’t deny that these are traits he has, but he isn’t entirely sure if these are traits he was destined to have, or if through the power of suggestion and pressure over the years, he has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

He looks back in the mirror, scooping a curl off of his face, memorizing the rich brown of his eyes, the even slant of his nose. He knows his ascension isn’t technically supposed to change him, at least not in the ways that are noticeable. All of the royal advisors and lesser gods on the council have assured him, reassured him, and if it’s even possible, over-assured him as such.

Even his parents have dipped their toes into the conversation, despite always and forevermore being mortal.

It’s not like you’re going to sprout a second head and start devouring the souls of mortals. You are just going to feel different. More powerful. Rightly so. You will be.

And that’s what concerns him. Not the sprouting of another head or bloodthirst.

How can things still be the same–how can he still be the same–if he is about to be given power? Not just any power either. This is enough power to end the long-standing drought that wiped out the southeast corner of the Solar Kingdom. A drought so severe that the only thing left in that part of the kingdom is abandoned homes and stories from the Elder gods that prove it was once a vivid place full of diverse life, with lush flora that bore plump, juicy fruits, art, and culture.

The Elder gods have been around for, well, no one quite knows how long, including them. When asked, they often click their tongue, sipping whatever sparkly alcoholic concoction that fancies them that day before dismissing the curious soul who asks. After a while, time just rolls itself together. You mortals are so obsessed with it. Relax, take it all in. Hundreds, even thousands of years may have passed, but still we eat and drink and dance.

And from all that eating and drinking and dancing came the many stories about the parts of the kingdom that Hoseok had never heard of, and some he is still sure don’t really exist. How on this planet were there once waterfalls that fell up instead of down, or vines that could bear grapes the size of his head? Over time, he has learned to take what the Elder gods say at face value; they are bored and ancient and looking for something to entertain them. The only reason he knows the southeast corner once had any of these things is because of the ruins.

When he was young, he was taken there by the royal council and his parents to help him understand the weight of his place in all this, how crucial it was that he rise and grow to end the drought that forced thousands to become displaced and desperate. How better was he to understand the importance of the power he would one day be given than to see how selfishly wielding it only resulted in strife and suffering for all?

The drought is expanding, leeching more from his kingdom by the year. By his twenty ninth birthday, the Great Forest of Solaria, a region two hours south of the capital, known for its tall redwoods and cypresses, has had three sizable forest fires, forcing its people, including Hoseok’s best friend Namjoon, to flee north. Namjoon and his family have been living in the palace for almost a full year.

But because of this curse, this reign of the nefarious king Mang Shin, who tore down Hoseok’s people and the land around it for his own selfish gain, because of his cruelty that angered the fates, the Solar Kingdom has been managing a worsening drought. How much longer before the capital city can no longer sustain any of its people, when it is no longer a refuge?

His kingdom is not the only one impacted by the cruelty of Mang Shin. The Lunar Kingdom to the northwest is half underwater after high tides that led to flooding. While the capital city of the Solar Kingdom has not directly suffered from the curse of Mang Shin, the Lunar Kingdom’s capital city has not been so lucky.

A month ago, a large tidal wave capsized the northern end of the city, drowning thousands and destroying a major sea port that was essential to the booming trade industry of the north. From the rumors Hoseok heard, the crown prince was set to be in the district that morning on official business, but was running behind after spending a night out drinking and occupying the brothels in the southern corridor. He would have been washed away in the sea if he were on time.

Which means all this, all that Hoseok has been procrastinating on attending, has stopped seven times in the short hallway over, would have been for nothing. There would be no end to this curse, only the slow suffering of his actual fate.

No. The crown prince is in the Great Hall waiting for Hoseok to get his shit together and help restore balance to both kingdoms. A dual coronation. Two princes to become kings of their own kingdoms. The Lunar Kingdom exists as the Solar Kingdom exists. Both need each other now to ensure the longevity of the other. There’s no other destiny than this.

He pauses in front of the door to his father’s study, grazes his knuckles against the wood of the door. He sighs.

You have to do this. There’s no other way.

And just as he thinks to turn, to run, to flee his home and this kingdom and go everywhere and nowhere all at once, the door to his father’s study opens.

He expects to see the firm set frown of his father, to be given his final lecture and coronet before his father abdicates and Hoseok is the owner of the hefty, ornate crown he has come to despise.

He is not expecting to hear a soft feminine gasp that is very different to the sounds his father makes. Nor is he expecting to see you staring right back at him.

You’re wearing a long navy gown flecked with what looks like stars shimmering in the glow of the study’s dim light.

You should be wearing a tiara, or at least some kind of diadem like your mother, whom Hoseok saw this morning when he snuck into the kitchen after skipping the official breakfast. He should have been embarrassed, but she seemed even more so for being there and helping herself to custard cakes that were meant for today’s celebration.

I won’t tell if you won't, she'd said, her voice tight, possibly from speaking between bites of the creamy custard. Her diadem encrusted with diamonds in the shape of what looked like the constellation Cygnus gleamed in the sunlight that leaked into the kitchen.

She didn’t care that he hadn’t given your family a proper greeting, and she seemed unbothered by his unwashed and unshaved state. She looked at him like he was just a boy. So he didn’t say a word, just stole a cake for himself and locked himself in his chamber until his mother hunted down Namjoon to let him in and at least convince him to bathe.

Even informally dressed, your mother wore her head adornment, which is why it is not only odd to see you striding out of his father’s study, but to also see you walking around without anything to signify you are more than just a palace advisor or lady of the court.

Then again, you were always odd. While your families were not close by any means, their strained allyship and understanding of their dependency on one another meant that Hoseok’s family and your family had met a few times over the years, and each time he was in the vicinity of you, he couldn’t help but notice how out of place you were.

While your brother commanded the attention of everyone in the room, demanded the world stopped to hear the new song he composed on guitar or rambled on and on about diplomacy and trade relations over a feast, you instead faded into the background of every place you entered, a shadow that cast itself behind the path of her brother’s radiant glow.

So maybe not wearing a crown isn’t so unexpected when it comes to you. A crown is the opposite of a shadow. It demands everyone look at it, too. And even if you wanted to be looked at– which he assumes is not true given the fact that you’re practically shrinking away from Hoseok as he looks at you now– it doesn’t seem as though your brother would be willing to share the spotlight long enough to even give you the chance.

He realizes he doesn’t even need to ask what you are doing in his father’s study, he already knows: you are doing what you always do when he sees you, what he suspects you do when he isn’t around too: you made yourself invisible. You often snuck off during your visits here to the library or the palace gardens, returning late in the day with dirt on your skirts or charcoal on your hands. He notices the object that confirms his suspicions: a sketchbook nestled between your fingertips that is staining your inner fingers black.

“I was just–” you begin, eyes wide as you stammer. “Your father, he said I could be in here. I didn’t touch anything, I was drawing!” You hold the book out in front of you like a shield.

Hoseok raises his hands up. “Hey, hey, relax. I’m not accusing you of anything!” Your eyes soften a little, but you still remain frozen in the doorway, the sketchbook acting as if it's made of steel, not paper. “Speaking of my father, have you seen him? He said he wants to talk to me before, y’know…the thing.”

“The thing…” you repeat, finally lowering the book as you knit your brows together. You give him a puzzled look before answering. “Uh, I did. I was sketching him, actually. But he left to go to the Great Hall about ten minutes ago to deal with something urgent. But he said if I saw you to tell you to get your coronet on. It’s in here, on his desk.”

With a flurry, you twirl, heading back into the soft glow of the office behind you. As you turn, a puff of air leaves Hoseok’s chest as he sees the effect your dress has in the shifting light. It’s as if millions of stars are swirling around you, centering you as their moon in a night sky.

Whoa.

For a moment, he’s stunned, not entirely sure what he just saw. But then he remembers what he is supposed to be doing, and he follows you like a sailor follows the stars, letting you guide him into the cold room.

Sure enough on his father’s desk is the coronet, a small box of pins to fasten it into place beside it, and a handwritten note from his father.

Be extraordinary.

Or be nothing at all, he finishes mentally. Hoseok’s father has spent all of his life uttering that phrase, placing his very soul behind the words that are supposed to be inspirational. He had learned it from a book at the university he attended when he was a young scholar, coming across it and deciding it suited his philosophy: excel beyond ordinary leadership and be a great ruler to his people. If not, what was the point in being a leader at all?

This was a phrase that always unsettled Hoseok, because extraordinary measures mean one-upping himself in the process, and that is something his father seemed to push in his youth. Top marks in his class? He then needed to be the top of his class and on the student council. Developed a grant for young dancers to encourage a stronger relationship to the arts from a younger age? He must establish an entire foundation for performing arts within the next five years. Higher and higher he has always been forced to climb, until the clouds once above him are nothing more than wisps of air at his feet.

And he’s afraid of heights. Of falling from this place where he is held so high in regard and duty he might as well live among the stars.

He swallows a knot in his throat, taking the note with his father’s message and crumpling it in his fist.

You, who have been curiously watching him this entire time, raise an eyebrow. Hoseok suddenly feels particularly defensive and on edge from his father’s notice. The king has written it on official letterhead, technically making it Royal business and not familial. It’s not a phrase of encouragement for him to be extraordinary, but an order.

“What,” he snaps, and immediately regrets it as he watches your face cloud slightly before you regain composure.

“It’s a pretty morbid saying, isn’t it?” you say thoughtfully after a moment, nodding your head to the balled up piece of paper in his hands. “This idea that if you aren’t always beating yourself then you’re not successful or good enough to rule. But it’s so damning. How can you win when part of you must always lose?”

Hoseok inhales sharply, the words hitting him hard. But before he can even think to respond, you are scrambling.

“Exactly,” he says darkly. He takes the coronet in hand. “The thing is, either way you spin this, it’s a loss.”

You chew your bottom lip for a moment before stepping toward him, reaching for the box of hairpins. “I’m sorry,” you mumble and pluck a pin from the box, gesturing for Hoseok to bend down.

He isn’t the tallest man in the kingdom by far, and you’re not much shorter, but next to you, he somehow feels huge. Do you have horrible posture or something? He glances over at you, but then he notices that while your head would rest above his shoulder if you moved closer, and your back is perfectly straight–straighter than even he has been trained to stand– it’s not your height that makes you feel so small. It’s everything else. You are a walking optical illusion. In his memories, he had always placed you as half his size, and he finally understands why: it lets you fly under the radar.

He sighs, placing the coronet upon his head at last, turning over the idea of being under the radar in his mind. Something in him sours, a prick of jealousy flaring up at how you will inevitably spend the rest of the night after the coronation. “Not like you had any part in this. Soon this will all be over and you can go back to hiding in rooms with your sketch pads and books and be invisible to everyone again.”

You flinch at his words, the pin you have begun fastening to his head to steady the crown snags into his scalp.

“Ouch! What the fuck was that?” Hoseok yelps, and you jolt back, tears brimming your eyes as if you were the one who was just stabbed in the head.

“Oh, I get it. So you think this is the end of the world for you and the rest of us are just going to go about our merry way like the savior gods have solved all our problems.” Your voice is sharp, unlike anything he has ever heard come from you, and he can see the fury burning into your eyes as tears begin to spill.

“Have you ever fucking thought about how the rest of us are going to cope with these changes? Yes, I understand the ascension is damnation in its own way, and that this awful fucking curse has plagued our kingdoms for centuries but you’re so selfishly focused on yourself when there are two of you who will share the burden. And the power. Yes, you are vain and self-absorbed but your drought will end. The forest fires will have paved the way for nutrient rich soil and things here will thrive better than they ever have. Your friend Namjoon? He can return to his community and rebuild. And you, Jung Hoseok, you will live on forever in the glory of all that you saved and your stupid ego will be smoothed over with godly power. Power that who knows what the hell you’ll do with. In another thousand years you too will be bored and sighing with the other Elder gods talking about the time you saved us all and embellishing your stories to bring new life into them.

“And the rest of us? We will be doing all that work for you as you sit on your throne and watch us break our backs to continue to pay for what Mang Shin did. And then we will die. My own best friend died in the floods we had a month ago. And I will die, having only lived a life that is in service to another god. Mang Shin or you or my fucking awful brother–”

You freeze, realizing your mistake. But Hoseok is seeing red at your accusation.

“You think I’m just going to be like all those other lazy gods? I want to be nothing like them! Unlike them I care about my home, my people, and family! And you have the audacity to stand in my father’s office and claim that I won’t do the right thing? That I’m in this and moping because of my ego? Oh, fuck you, Y/N! You don’t know the first thing about me. When I walk out of this room and into the Great Hall, I am no longer me. I am the pawn they raised me to be in some game I never want to play. And you, you’re free.” He spits those words at you with a sneer.

Your nostrils flare and you close the distance between you two. He can feel the heat of your body as you shove it against him, backing him into his father’s desk so he can’t escape. The soft flurry of your gown grazes the back of his left hand.

“Free?” you say low, your voice dripping with disgust. “Let’s get one thing straight. I am not free. I am invisible. And not by choice, by necessity.” You reach down between you, grabbing one of his wrists and pinching your fingers around it. Then, you grab the other with the same motion and hold them both up to him. “One shackle for being born without the fates’ blessing. That would have been damning enough. An outcast compared to my brother. At least your sister was given some response from the fates upon her birth. Some gift.”

You tighten your hand around the other wrist, your nails digging small crescents into Hoseok’s skin. “The other for being born into a life where I will always be cleaning up the messes of a tyrannical ruler, be it a king who lived a millennia ago or my own brother or a beloved god like you.”

Hoseok’s stomach drops as you hiss the last word out and he tugs at his wrists to try to free himself from you. He feels as though he’s going to explode. Who the hell do you believe yourself to be? Royalty or not, you know there are rules in place that forbid you both from touching, though those rules were mostly enforced during the time of puberty for the both of you, but there was never an official retraction. If he thinks about it, this is the first time the two of you have ever even touched. And it’s probably for the best.

He feels like he’s burning under your gaze, a fire hotter than anything he’s ever known. Your fingertips digging into his skin, feel like needles and iron weights under him. In one moment you have gone from being small and frail to fierce and terrifying, the radiant glow of royalty your entire family wears breaks from you as your raw emotion unravels your smooth exterior.

You are in this moment the furthest thing from invisible and Hoseok’s heart beating wildly as you shift even closer to him tells him so. But Hoseok has trained his entire life for combat, knows how to put mind over matter. So he focuses and with an exhale composes himself, a devilish smirk spreading across his face.

Your brows knit together, but your hold remains firm.

“My sister can hold her own. The fates knew that. She was not suited to be a ruler when she had much better skills with people and commerce. That, and they probably knew that she too would lead with some kind of bias.” He snorts. “But you, that really is a shame. Maybe the fates were wrong about you. Maybe they made a mistake in forgetting to give you a gift.”

You gasp, and he jolts, releasing your hands from his wrists. “Don’t say that. You shouldn’t say that.”

He knows he shouldn’t. To speak ill of the fates could lead to serious punishment. When born, everyone is visited by the fates during their first long slumber. For most people of good standing, the fates bless them with some type of gift, be it physical wealth, talent, status, or some other quality or characteristic that solidifies them in society.

While there is no set pattern in who the fates often deliver gifts to, in the last few generations, most blessings from the fates are given to those born into nobility. At least for Hoseok, everyone in his family as far back as his great grandfather was given a blessing. His mother had received the precise skill of archery, picking up a bow and arrow as early as seven years old and shooting the target nearly dead center. The only reason she was off was because the bow was too heavy for her. His father was given his intellect, leading to him being a great scholar and general. His sister was given a hand mirror embedded with large rubies.

All the gifts are left in a pouch tied to the baby’s bassinet. If the gift is not physical, a small note is often attached with an explanation or hint for what will be fulfilled. Some larger gifts may just be laid next to the bassinet, but rarely is it larger than the size of one’s hand.

For Hoseok, the fates’ gift was a scroll with the prophecy copied to it, along with a gold ring engraved with a sun that he is wearing now. Not too cryptic to interpret. His parents knew from the start who he was.

Your family, however, is another story. From what Hoseok understands, when your older brother was born, he did not receive such a literal interpretation of the prophecy. Rather, his gift was a monocular that for years people thought was broken. It wasn’t until he once used it while stupidly looking up at the sun that your brother realized the monocular wasn’t broken.

Instead, it provided a very important film over the lens that allowed him to stare for hours at the sun and not go blind. During the sporadic partial solar eclipses over the years that gave Hoseok chills down his spine, your brother was often on the cliff banks, gazing at the sun flares and embracing his future.

A monocular meant for solar eclipses. What else could that mean but that he is a fated one?

As for you, Hoseok heard that the evening of your birth a handful of years later came and went with no blessing. When your parents had woken to find nothing in the pouch or the areas around your bassinet, had asked every palace worker thrice to see if anyone had entered the nursery that evening and everyone had assured that no one had entered and the door that separated the bathroom between you and your brother’s rooms had remained locked, your brother sound asleep, there was nothing left to do but accept that for the first time in generations, your family had ended its line of fated ones with your brother.

In a way, did it matter? Whether you are blessed or not if your brother is the one who will finally end the curse? Perhaps not. But either way, Hoseok can’t help but feel pissed at the fates today, and wants to poke at them a bit and let him know he isn’t happy with the gift they gave him.

Sure, no one is supposed to insult them. There are many tales told to children about what happens to those who test their authority, cautionary lessons that warn them not to misbehave or they will suffer greatly. It is, after all, the result of Mang Shin’s own challenging and disrespecting the fates that caused all of this anyway.

But right now Hoseok doesn't have a single fuck to give about what they decided anyone is destined for. How they “always choose wisely.” That doesn’t make sense to him. The fates can’t be perfect, can they? In all things. Including you.

Especially you, he realizes. Because he would be foolish to write you off as a boring nobody, even if that is the mask you wear.

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I be pissed at them and question them? If they have decided this is a burden I must shoulder forever, then let me have my doubts! I’m actually disgusted by the fact that no one has ever questioned my role in this. A savior of an entire kingdom! Me? The one who broke into the armory and stole fireworks to launch on my eighteenth birthday?”

Which, had been an awful idea. The fireworks had been locked away because of their tendency to cause fires. And with that winter having much less snow than ever before, the farmland he had drunkenly lit those fireworks in was full of dead, dry brambles. The perfect kindling.

His transgression cost the kingdom millions. He was lucky there was no wind that day to carry the fire across the creek the farm jutted up to. But the fire did enough damage to burn that entire farm’s crops for that year.

You snort. “Yes, well I think your accidental arson doesn’t alter your favor with the fates.” You gesture for him to bend again to finally pin on his coronet. The angry steam trapped inside his chest is starting to lessen. In some way, it just feels good to have said it out loud.

So he obeys and lets you change the subject as you work. “Why did you want the fireworks anyway?”

Hoseok stills, wanting to avoid another stabbing. Your fingers are more nimble this time, sweeping gently through his scalp before securing the pins. As you make your adjustments, your pinky skims the shell of his ear.

It’s that tenderness that prompts him to answer honestly. “I was sad, or rather mad that in an entire ballroom full of people celebrating, I had never felt so alone in my whole life. It didn’t feel like they were celebrating me, but this idea of us getting closer to the end of the suffering. Another year passing means another year closer to when we could more accurately predict the eclipse, if it was actually going to be a total one and pass directly above us. So my birthday became this symbol of hope I guess.”

You hum in response, a quiet prompt asking him to continue. He feels your fingers adjusting the pins in the back, gentle, oh so gentle. His eyes fall closed, trying to focus instead on his story.

“I should be happy about that, right? To be this symbol of hope for everyone. But I didn’t want that. I never wanted to become a symbol of something over being a person, and that seems to be what all this ever is. I had come to realize it at the time, and wanted to rebel, to do something for myself for my birthday instead of being in service to others.

“So I broke into the armory while everyone was dancing, said I needed a moment to relieve myself. The guard was easily bribed by a strong glass of whisky I claimed wasn’t to my taste and the smell of the feast in the hall. I told him I would find the captain to have him guard his post while he went to enjoy the celebration.”

He hears you chuckle, an infectious, feathery sound that piques his interest. He wonders how often you laugh at things. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard you do so before.

He smirks. “Yeah, he didn’t think twice about that. Why would the well-behaved, diplomatic prince try to break into the armory during his birthday celebration? Once he was out of sight I walked right in and grabbed what I was looking for. Ditched the ball, grabbed a bottle of whisky and went to drown my sorrows. The rest was history. I barely got to look up and enjoy the fireworks before I saw the fire begin. And by that point I was too drunk to walk straight to even know what to do. I couldn’t run fast enough to stomp it out and I didn’t have any water with me. So I just stood and watched it all burn before me.”

Your fingers stroke the coronet in Hoseok’s hair and then he feels them fall, your fingertips combing through it, nails sometimes scraping against his scalp. It’s so soothing, grounding to him, and he inhales deeply as your hands weave around him, one side and then the other, as if you are guiding every hair, every part of him back into place.

“That’s when I started to really wonder if the fates got it all wrong with me. Because I can cause so much damage so quickly if I’m not careful. And selfishly too. What I did, that was because I couldn’t let people see me as this symbol of something that I’m not even sure I represent And if I have power? What if I use it wrong?”

“You’re right. I am vain and selfish to be complaining about this stuff when I’m lucky. I got to go on a bender and blow up a bunch of illegal arsenal and the most I got was a stern finger waggle because I’m a ‘fated one’. And once this is all over, I don’t know. I’m probably not going to be the king everyone thinks I’m going to be. And I’ll fight like hell but I’m terrified that I’m going to be different. That somehow the second I’m blessed with this power I’m going to wield it to hurt others, to be that same selfish asshole of a child that I was.”

He feels your hand pause, and opens his eyes. Your eyes meet, and your hand falls from his head, returning into your orbit as you cross your arms in front of you.

“But you didn’t mean for that to happen, Hoseok. None of that. I don’t think the fates are going to fault you for a mistake like that, and I don’t think they made the wrong choice for a human acting as a human. And even when you’re a god, I don’t know. You’ll probably make mistakes too, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be cruel.”

You sigh. “I’m sorry I said that about you. I…you’re not like him, Mang Shin. You aren’t going to be this lazy ruler or probably even a bad one. Because you care. Didn’t you repair the damage to the barn yourself?”

He nods.

“That really speaks more to your character than whatever air of diplomacy you think you need to have. And the same for your power that you’ll receive. The ascension doesn’t make you invincible, but it just amplifies the qualities you have. And you don’t have malice in you to burn down an entire farm.

“My brother however? I think if he was in your position, he would have argued the fire was the farm’s fault for not sprinkling the crops with a fire retardant or something. Or, if he wasn’t getting the attention he wanted, that might have made him so furious that he spread the fire beyond the farm on purpose. One time when we were younger, he received awful marks on an exam he admittedly did not study for, and when our tutor scolded him for it and wagged his finger in his direction, he bit the tip of his finger clean off. And he smiled as he did it.”

Hoseok blanches. He has heard that your brother wasn’t the most savory of people, some of the people of the Solar kingdom having encountered him during the royal family’s visitations. Hoseok himself knows that he’s rude and narcissistic, often interrupting during their different conversations to talk about himself or scowl at the palace workers as they try to serve his meals. Particular, they always describe the Lunar Prince. He is not a bad man, just very particular.

More like entitled, and borderline ruthless, Hoseok thinks to himself.

“Your brother sounds very...particular,” he says instead of what he’s actually thinking.

You roll your eyes. “I hate that fucking word,” you mutter, uncrossing your arms and stepping back to look at Hoseok. You click your tongue once and then nod in approval. The coronet must be even.

“What word would you use instead?” Hoseok whispers, taking a step toward you.

This conversation feels private, and no matter how private his father’s study feels, he doesn’t want the physical distance between the two of you as you share more intimate thoughts.

You hesitate. Your eyes flash to his, and then he can see the well of tears brimming up into your eyes once more. “Does it really matter anyway? A monster, a tyrant, an asshole. He’s going to be king, a god, regardless of how I describe him. And it would be treasonous, not to mention unwise, to question the decision of the fates. If he hears what I think, I’ll suffer worse. But everyone chooses to see something in him clearly that I do not, gifted him that monocular and wrote him into the prophecy to seal it. He is a fated one. And regardless of what you think or what I think, that’s how it’s going to be. I wasn’t gifted with anything. I’ll admit that I’m not looking forward to this transition and how messy it'll be. I spent most of my youth cleaning up his small messes and I’m sure I’ll be doing the big ones now. But I’m trying to make peace with it, I don’t have much of a choice.”

A renewed anger boils in Hoseok. “So your way of handling and accepting all of this, the fact that your brother is about to receive hoards of untapped power that might teeter your kingdom into oblivion, is by being invisible? By throwing your life away? How is that supposed to be helpful?”

You jerk away, the small distance between you growing larger as your dress glitters in a spotlight, casting refractions of it onto the walls and bookshelves all around you. In every pocket of the dark room, there’s a part of you shifting yourself onto everything else, including Hoseok. He opens his palm where the refraction casts, almost as though he’s holding a part of your light in his hand.

But just as soon as you’re in the light, you’re out of it, the refraction gone, and you into the shadows.

He steps forward, tries to cross the distance once more, but the intimate moment of secrets is gone, and stops him in his tracks. He can tell he has struck a wound by the sharp laugh that blares from your chest. It sounds nothing like the one he heard before.

“What am I supposed to do exactly? Go waltz in there and scream to the fates that he’s the wrong choice and we are all doomed? Demand he surrender his title and not accept this gift? Do you think anyone would even listen to me if I were to raise such doubt? I would be exiled before the eclipse reaches totality.

“I’m no one Hoseok. Not to my kingdom, certainly not my parents or brother. I’m simply here to put as much of a wedge between the blows my brother deals and the people of my kingdom who will receive it. And as far as how I’ll handle it, I have two options: I can continue as I am now, cleaning up the mess. Or I can re-enter the shadows of life and marry the Duke of Nebula and leave the Lunar Kingdom forever. Didn’t you say so yourself that I am free because of my position? That I am unburdened with the sense of duty that you are? Maybe you should think less about me and more about what you’re going to do after all this is over.”

You turn away from him, the skirt of your dress rustling as you try to make your escape, to leave him without the last word.

No, he thinks. Not like this. He has spent enough of his life not having the last word when it comes to matters about him.

Fury licks through his veins. He feels heat rush through his face, the tips of his ears, the tingling part of his scalp you were touching mere minutes ago. No, this conversation isn’t over until he says it is. He stalks over to you as you reach for the door handle, grabbing your wrist in his palm, tugging it over your head as he shoves your back against the door, trapping you.

You release the air in your chest with a huff, your other hand coming to fight him off. But he’s faster. Again, he’s trained his whole life to do this. He easily pins your other wrist above you.

“So that’s it? Your two choices are to marry some old wrinkled Duke or stay as your brother’s punching bag.”

He scoffs. You struggle against his hold.

“That’s none of your business! Let go of me!” you growl, tugging, ragged breaths heaving your chest.

“No,” Hoseok says. “I’m not done. If I’m going to walk out of here and take on the burdens of the world, then I’m going to at least spend the last moments of my mortal life ensuring you don’t waste yours. You have a choice in all of this freedom and you’re choosing wrong. The worst fucking things you can possibly choose. Consider it my first act of diplomacy as king.”

You angle your head up to him, your brows furrowed. “Then please, your majesty, enlighten me as to what you would choose for me, since you feel so inclined to do so.”

Your body is just as heated under Hoseok as he is now, a sheen of perspiration blooming in your décolletage. Both of you are boiling in your anger. Yet you take it a step further, widening your stance and looping one leg behind him to try and find the weak spot behind his knees.

You succeed, his leg slipping and tangling itself in the skirt of your dress. Rather than break the hold he has on you, however, he falls forward, his forearms falling to either side of your head, his body now fully leaning into you.

Under any other circumstance, Hoseok would immediately untangle himself, apologize, blush at the embarrassment of his body colliding with another, especially with it being taboo in the law. But this time he doesn’t. And as you struggle against him, he can feel your soft thigh brush against the front of his trousers, sending a lap of heat to his cock. It’s almost dizzying how hot it is in the study now. The room is kept at a cool temperature to ensure the books don’t warp from humidity.

Which means the heat that is scorching through his veins is from the two of you creating it. He pulls a deep breath into his chest, trying to focus on finishing this conversation, on his frustration with you for being so careless with yourself.

“If I was free like you, without the universe waiting for me outside my door, I wouldn’t be hiding in the cold shadows hoping no one noticed me. I would be out in the world, discovering all the things I’ve been denied.”

He adjusts himself against you, and as he does so, his thigh lands between your legs, resting at the crook of where they meet. A sharp intake of breath crests from you, and your eyes meet, your gaze hard.

“Like what?” you ask. “What exactly would you be chasing instead of denying yourself?”

Hoseok smirks, knowing he’s trapped you in this conversation. He really has been trained well. “Pleasure,” he says, and your eyes widen.

“What?”

“You heard me, Y/N. Pleasure. You think you’re going to find that with the Duke of Nebula? He’s so ancient, I doubt he could even get it up. And even if he still can, god what a bore he would be. He’s sired enough children in his lifetime, and can't be expected to run around and play with or care for any of the ones you would give him.

“So you would either be sitting around just the two of you for the rest of his life–gods hoping it wouldn’t be much longer–or you would be raising his children practically by yourself. They would have no status either, too far down on the family chain to have any standing. Which means you would rot in that place until you found another man to marry. And that would be your life. What a waste of your potential. You’re young, beautiful, intelligent, and throwing your life away.”

He clicks his tongue. “Pleasure you wouldn’t find with him. Maybe even the next guy. So why sign yourself up for any of that when you don’t have to? When you can feel alive while you’re alive and feel good. Know ecstasy, your joints coming loose in your body, fuc–”

“I’m not a virgin, Hoseok. I know what pleasure feels like,” you spit. Hoseok’s eyes flash. He licks his lips.

“Do you really?” he whispers. “Do you know how it feels to really fuck for the sake of pleasure, Y/N? Of letting someone else hold the reins of your undoing and pulling them so taught you think you’re going to snap, only to finally give you what you truly need and set you free over the edge?”

You shiver underneath him, closing your eyes. Good, he thinks. You’re listening, separating yourself from the rule-bound life you shouldn’t be bound to.

“What is it you really want, Y/N? What is it that you’re denying yourself of having? Of taking?”

“Nothing,” you whimper.

“Liar,” Hoseok grins. “You want so much more than this. You’re too much of a dreamer. Tell me, what do you want?”

“It’s none of your business,” you pant, though he can feel it, your resistance of your hold slipping.

“No, it’s not. But I’ll trade you. Your secret, your dreams for mine.”

You meet his gaze again, and Hoseok sees the shimmer in your eyes, curiosity blooming as you fall foolishly into his trap.

“Fine,” you yield. His grin spreads even further. He knows he probably looks deranged, but he can’t help it. He’s come this far. If the world is ending after this, he wants to know he at least spent his last moments of humanity trying to help someone else hold onto theirs.

“I want things that don’t matter. To be a mother someday. I want to write and sketch and sit in an open garden where I can stare at the sky from morning to night, counting all the stars over and over again and laughing when I lose count. I want laughter the most. For someone to pull it from me in the darkness. To bottle the feeling he gives me and fall asleep in his arms. I want to feel warm, like this, because it always feels so cold and lonely out here. And I’d miss home, but I want to leave it because it’s just as cold there during the summer winds than it is on the most mild winter days. And I want pleasure. Fuck, I need pleasure. I would divide up the universe for it. I want to feel alive as I do at this moment. Electricity, fire and ice all at once. I want to be taken and held, fucked, devoured as if I matter.”

You drag your hips up, and Hoseok gasps as you move yourself against his thigh, against what is now his throbbing erection.

He feels it too. Electricity. Fire. Ice. All at once. So he grinds his hips back down into you, giving you more pressure as he releases some of his. This is humanity, he thinks to himself. This is what I fear losing when I ascend.

He stops that thought there, buries it under the mountain of stability and refinement he’s been trained to put in its place.

“Fuck,” you hiss.

Hoseok releases your wrists, looking at your blown out pupils. He expects you to move away, but as your arms fall from over your head, they find hold on his biceps, steadying yourself as you move with each other.

“You owe me yours,” you say breathlessly and Hoseok laughs, his voice light and airy in his chest.

“You just want to know my dirty thoughts,” he teases and you dig your nails into his biceps, pinching him in warning.

More. I need more. Before all of this is gone.

He laughs again at the challenge. “Okay, okay, fine. If I dream of freedom like you, I dream of excitement. Sailing away to cities we know nothing of, learning about the people there. Dancing different dances in the street and eating foods I never would have thought I would taste. Losing days to pleasure instead of deciding what treaty needs to be signed, what law approved. Lazy mornings where I lick every inch of my lover.”

Hoseok leans in then and as if he is pulling you into his dream, licks a long strip down your neck, the salty dampness thrusting his hips sharper into yours. You moan.

Something in him shifts, a desperate need to hear it again. So he lathes his tongue along your neck and collarbone, sucking sharply on the skin after.

“Shit,” you rasp.

“Yes. That’s it. This is what you are missing out on, Y/N, pleasure.” He ruts against you. “I bet under those skirts you’re absolutely dripping, aren’t you? Isn’t this what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Then take it honey. Give yourself what you want.” He pulls back slightly, enough to keep his thigh firmly for you to use, and he sees the lust in your heavy eyelids, welcoming more of him into your orbit. He dips his head again, this time his tongue exploring the cleft between your breasts that peeks out over your dress. He hears you sigh, and hums in satisfaction.

He feels alive, not like those dinners with his family or sunsets in summer. This is different, a type of freedom he has never experienced before. Yes, he’s fucked people, he’s had fantastic sex in scandalous places, has known the thrumming of his pulse under his skin as he worked his body over another. But that was sex, and the two of you are still clothed, just exploring each other’s bodies.

It dawns on him. Is this what freedom is supposed to feel like?

He chases after the feeling, addicted now, teeth grazing along your breasts as you shiver below him, your hands leaving his biceps to pull through his hair, to cup the back of his neck to keep him steady.

“It could always be like this, if you wanted. Those sweet sighs, long days where you lie back and stare at the clouds and stars while coming undone on my mouth.” He presses back and you let him rise, where he fixes his gaze on your mouth.

You lick your lips, drawing him forward.

“We could forget the whole world and just be free,” he says, his lips resting mere millimeters away from yours.

And just as he moves in to claim them, Hoseok feels your hand on his chest, shoving him back. He recoils, pulling himself away to see your incredulous stare.

“We can’t just forget the whole world,” you say, and Hoseok takes a deep inhale, feeling the natural cold of the study quickly overtaking the heat in his body.

What happened? Weren’t you both on the same page?

“Why,” he asks. “Why not for a little while?”

“Why? Hoseok, look around us. What are we doing?”

He obeys, the gray walls of the study a dull reminder of reality. He looks back at you.

“I thought we were giving each other what we wanted,” he argues. “I thought you were finally understanding how much better things can be if you don’t keep pretending you don’t matter. Because you do.”

He takes a step forward again but you push him back again, harder.

Your face falls. “But I don’t.” You take a deep breath, pushing off the door and adjusting your dress. “Because what you are describing isn’t real. You said so yourself. It’s a dream. When we walk through those doors, you will be seated on the dais, waiting for the sun and moon to converge and to take your rightful place as a leader. And I will be standing in the crowd, watching you and my brother ascend and break this curse. I will not have the power to divide the universe for pleasure or anything else. I will go back to my kingdom, stare out at the cliff’s edge. Marry someone, maybe not the Duke, but someone and I’ll try to be happy. To live within my means. This is what the fates decided.”

Another jolt of reality slaps against him.

“Fuck the fates!” Hoseok roars, slamming his fist into the nearby bookshelf, toppling a few onto the floor. “Stop giving them this much power over us! To decide everything, to rip away the things we want!”

“Stop trying to assume you know what I want!” You yell back. “You don’t! You don’t know me! Stop trying to blame the fates for the world we live in! This is it! This is what we have. And we can’t play pretend that it could ever be any different. There are too many factors, too many risks. You said so yourself you care too much about your people to not do anything, so this feverish, desperate attempt at divorcing yourself from your reality needs to end.

“I’m sorry I fed into it even for a moment. I should have known better. I know it’s scary! I know this is fucking awful. A half an hour ago you were ready to dig your own grave over the reality of things. But that doesn’t mean we just…run from it!”

“I’m not running! Gods, I’m sorry I just wanted to find some other way to make our bleak reality feel better. So that when I walk into the Great Hall and stand before your monstrous brother, as I let my entire world shift beneath me, I could have something to ground me from what is to come. Do you feel it, too? That feeling of hope that things could be different? Of feeling alive? There’s hope in these dreams we have and–”

“And they’re dreams, Hoseok! They aren’t real!”

He feels like he’s been flayed open and then dragged through a pile of glass. He can see you drawing the curtain on yourself, going back into that hiding spot that he only just coaxed you from.

You scoff. “What, you fucking me in a field will somehow fix all of this? Suddenly I will be healed and you won’t become an immortal god slated to stop the end of the world as we know it?”

Hoseok sucks in a breath. His cheeks heat with embarrassment. Why did he let it go this far?

No, no you were just as much a part of this as him. “You didn’t seem to mind the idea of me fucking you a few minutes ago as you grinded against my thigh,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Don’t try and act like you didn’t want this too.”

“Stop! Stop assuming you know what I want!”

“Stop pretending that no one could ever understand what you want! Stop denying yourself of a life you could be living!”

Your hands clench into fists, and you close your eyes, drawing breath in and out.

“You know what Hoseok? I feel bad for you. Truly, I do. This is going to be a long road ahead and I know you feel like you don’t have a choice. But that doesn’t mean you get to choose for me. We are both imprisoned by something greater than us. Damned to be pawns in the universe’s game. But you need to get it through your head. This is fate. Like it or not. It’s time we stop dreaming about things that will never be real.”

His stomach sours, the music echoing down the hallway flooding his ears with an awful tinny ring. Somewhere inside me, the steady mountain of rock he’s steeled himself under cracks.

“Don’t say that.”

You are looking down, though he can hear from the shakiness in your voice you’re on the verge of crying again. “Dreaming is nice, isn’t it? It’s a break from reality. A moment we get to feel alive. But at some point, we have to wake up.”

“Stop.” He feels the fight leave him as the words lance from his throat, all the heaviness of the world that he’s been fated to carry bursting from him, toppling pillar after pillar, rock after rock among him.

“I’m sorry,” you cry. “This is just how it is. You have to be extraordinary. I have to be invisible.”

That goddamn phrase is like pouring acid on his open wounds. You’re doing this on purpose, he realizes. Adding to his agony and he doesn’t know why.

“Fuck you,” he spits, a knot forming in his throat as he tries to hold back his tears. “Fucking get out of my sight.”

You reach for the door handle, turning it and opening it a crack.

Bright light bursts forward, almost knocking Hoseok down. He can no longer see your face in the shock of it, just the glimmer of your gown as it captures the beams of the sun, using the very thing he will soon rule to blind him.

“I know you think you’re not worthy of this. Or that you can’t do it. But you can. I was there on your birthday. Maybe I was too good of a shadow or you were too drunk to remember. But you saw me as you snuck out, begged me not to say anything. So I didn’t. And I watched the fireworks from the window. Saw the spark that caught the fire. And Hoseok,” he can hear a smile in your voice. “At no point did I ever stop thinking it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

If there were any more rocks left in the mountain, they’ve now buried Hoseok alive under them. The fury and fight left extinguishes. With his eyes finally adjusting to the brightness, he watches you walk out of the dark study, toward the Great Hall, never looking back.

The rage that licks at him starts to fall away, the dullness of the room now more familiar and steadying.

After a few moments, he composes himself, sliding the mask of allegiance, passion, and love back into place over his crumpled spirit. You are right. This is just how it is.

When he steps into the light, a flicker of something on the wall catches his eye, and he realizes it’s a refraction of light like the ones you caused in the study. But you’re nowhere to be found in the hallway. Puzzled, he looks down at himself, his chest tightening at the realization.

The glitter of your dress has transferred onto him, a large concentration of it along his crotch, but it’s everywhere, even in his hair. In a flurry, he tries to brush it off, to not draw suspicion from other party goers about you two humping like wild animals in his father’s study. But he realizes it’s useless.

You’ve left your mark on him and he can’t get rid of it. As he catches his glimmering reflection in the window, Hoseok can’t help but think that he looks like he’s covered in stars.

#bts fanfic #bts smut #hoseok #hoseok smut #hoseok fanfic #hoseok x reader #jhope #jhope fanfic #jhope x reader #jung hoseok

38 notes · View notes

nat-20s · 3 months

Text

mini-fic time!!!

(all of these r also posted on ao3 lol)

Donna and The Doctor share a discussion about Christmas

~*~

It’s during one of their many little late night chats that the subject comes up. It even happens organically, Donna noting the soft glow of the fairy lights pinned about that were, technically speaking, Christmas lights, and how the entire family had apparently conceded to this being a year round fixture. Of course, instead of focusing on the noble-temple-mott-doctor clan’s terrible consistency with interior decorating, the Doctor throws on a downright cheeky grin and asks, “So. You still hate Christmas?”

She knows the answer he’s expecting. After all, this year’s event was, perhaps, ‘lovely” and ‘joyful’ and ‘bringing tears to her eyes a few times, don’t mention it’. But. Still. Eh?She grimaces and sucks in a breath through her teeth, which is enough for The Doctor to throw the non-mug holding arm in the air and ask slightly too loud, “Seriously?”

Donna shrugs and hides her face behind her mug. “I mean…”

The Doctor blinks at her a few times, and as she has no desire to provide further details, he replies, “Huh. Really? Ialways sort of assumed that, well. You didn’t like Christmas because you had mostly bad ones?”

“What, no.I had loadsof happy Christmases. Hell, there was a good ten years where it was the only day me and mum were actually nice to each other. I just don’t really care for it. I mean, sure, there’s...parts I like, I guess. I like the lights, some of the songs are okayish, and don’t get me wrong, I have loads of fun getting to spoil Rose rotten each year but. I dunno, it’s all a bit, ugh,you know?”

When she gets a downright agog expression in exchange for her statement, she can’t help but snort. “Why the hell do you even care? I can’t imagine that Time Lords are all that arsed about Christianity, and, by the way, if you tell me that you were Christ, I’m gonna tell you fuck off, no you weren’t.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Obviously.”

“Was one of the disciples though.”

“Fuck off, no you weren’t.”

The Doctor stares at her very, very intensely, giving away nothing. For all of about 3 seconds, when his nose wrinkles up in amusement and he waves a hand. “No, I wasn’t. I’m not sure I even know all their names. Think I have some reindeer mixed up with them. On Dasher, on Dancer, on Donny, on Simon, or something like that.”

Donna manages to just roll her eyes rather than enjoy the goof, because he is derailing the conversation, again. “So my point stands. What’s your big thing about Christmas?”

After a hum and a shrug, The Doctor replies, “Oh, it’s not just Christmas. Purim, Holi, Lunar New Year, hell, I adore a good Arbor Day.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s..”

The Doctor looks to the side for a second, in that non-targeted way that Donna knows means he’s trying to remember something. She takes a sip from her cocoa and practices some of her hard won patience.

With a soft hum, The Doctor finally comes back to the present and tells her, “It’s not that Gallifrey never had holidays, of sorts. But they were all very traditional and very serious and very dour. It was all ceremony and diligence and respect, not,” he nods towards the Christmas tree, “fairy lights and colored powders and silly costumes.”

Grinning now, he continues, “You know, in all the lifetimes I’ve lived and all the species I’ve met, humans are utterly unparalleled in their ability to have fun. For all your lots’ faults, of which there are many-”

“-yes, thank you-”

“-nobody celebrates like a human. Any excuse, even the basic, or, ah, often not so basic, act of survival, and you’ll start singing and eating and dancing. You have such a capacity for joy it will leak from you. Happy crying, who the hell does that?”

“Hold on, I’ve seen you do that. Three times in as many days when you first got here.”

Tilting his head in acknowledgment, he counters, “Ah, but that’s only because of the company I keep. Your laughter is infectious, literally, in the year 16,000 it gets classified as a dangerous contagion.I mean, honestly, you lot could make a Dalek snicker. It’s...it’s incredible. There’s genuinely like nothing else in the universe, and, well, I can’t help but be charmed by Christmas as a small sliver of all that relentless joy.”

After a half second pause, he adds, “Plus, yes, the lights are quite pretty.”

Donna can’t quite contain a smile, replying, “I suppose I could see the appeal of it. Through that lens.”

The Doctor grins back at her, and they let themselves sit in a companionable silence. After a minute of simply letting themselves be, and polishing off the last dregs of their cocoa, Donna tells him, “Still can’t fucking stand ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ though.”

Hearing the burst of laughter that comes from The Doctor, Donna can’t help but silently agree with him. She thinks it’s not so bad being infectious, when that infection is joy.

#doctor who #tennant doctor #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #my fic #EHEHEHEHE #this isn't a christmas fic it's just. talking about it lmao

64 notes · View notes

dana-chan-the-control-brain · 4 months

Note

Hello! I know you're one of the people who ship Moon and Solar (TSAMS) And y'all have gotten me into the ship as well! XD I'm not caught up on the lore of the show(s) So i haven't even seen Solar IN SHOW before (i am very behind to before Lunar was Sun and Moons brother :' D) But I have some ideas I'm debating writing for the ship buttt....I have no clue how Canon Solar acts??? Do you know if theres somewhere I could find a Summary on his personality? (and I suppose...new Moon?) I'll probably unintentionally make them OOC...never written for anything TSAMS related, but i'll try!

And is there a ship names thats...like used for them instead of Solar X Moon or is it just called that?

Anywho, I hope you have a good day/night!!! You make awesome stuff! (And I know theres been some people making drama over the ship, I hope you don't let them get to you too much tho!! <3 /P)

🦈Anon

AWESOME!

Heheheh. Thank you. I've been shipping these two since June 2023 so I'm glad I can share the brainrot and some people are more welcoming and cool then I expect. (mostly the ones who can't think critically are the youtube audience but that's expected. Since a lot of the youtube target audience are... like.. minors or really young adults who can't conceive the concept.)

I rewatch that Episode where Solar changes his name and rebuilds the Daycare in a week just for Moon constantly cause it's just... so much admiration and appreciation Moon has for Solar in that episode. I swear I don't know if it was a flub on the actor's part... but I swear Moon calls him 'sexy' as he's dragging him to charge. the stock sound effect of "OOOOH" doesn't help my APD and I've listened so many times and I have no possible idea what Moon could be saying to Solar other then 'come here you stupid, sexy-...." (trails off) sooo... idk. I might have misheard that severely but that's just what I'm hearing.

Like, in terms of New Lore of the show, it gets pretty complicated.

So complicated in fact, TSAMS themselves released a new video on the subject.... But it's NOT a very good guide, as it misses a lot of things. (and no I don't mean the stupid guest cameo stuff) this is more or less an abridged take on what happens with no emotional impact:

youtube

Like, this is a good starting point if you want the barest of bones, but it misses so much stuff. I think they don't even mention how Solar gets introduced into this family. lol. Just like "yeah Im here and I helped kill Eclipse" fheahehf. It's a super well made video though, and I don't mind the editing mistakes (clearly when the actors change the avatar on screen.... whoops. Happens a few times)

There is also the Fan Wiki, but as of now, it is incomplete, (@twinanimatronics is working tirelessly on updating the wiki and I wish they got more reconignition from the tsams community as a whole ) but it does give a decent look into Solar

There is also the huge TSAMS Lore Document, which Ceph(twinanimatronics) also worked on which contains a further detailed explanation of the story so far, for those who don't have time to watch 2 years worth of youtube content that aren't in a concrete playlist. (TSAMS. PLAYLIST YOUR STUFF PROPERLY. YOU HAVE TWO YEARS OF LORE HERE)

Liike.... yeah... this is okay but like..

This is VRchat. Aka the lore. Which also includes when they play videogames in VRchat, which don't impact the story... Like Uno, Amongus and SCP stuff.....

And it doesn't divide the arcs. Something that TSAMS severely needs more then any other SB Show channel.

Also, in the early days, the gameplay videos USED to be part of the lore. As the concept of Eclipse itself, being a rouge evil ai that lived in Sun's head (as it was presented initially but we know the truth it was the killcode moon planted in Sun when they separated.)

These days, they kinda dropped the gameplay videos being directly connected to the over arching plot. Other then just saying that their vids are pre-recorded or "we're back" after an annual halloween takeover.

Not to mention... When Earth and Lunar got a show, they became intertwined with the Sun and Moon show. LAES is very much it's own thing, but it's the ONLY Security Breach Show that consists of two Original Characters spawned from the Sun and Moon show. A rarity. So their lore continues off from the Sun and moon show, giving more info on Lunar these days and Earth (their sister)

Then you have the Monty and Foxy show (which is my least favorite of the shows... Personal Preference. I try not to complain cus I know some people like it. But I do not like the plot points in that show, or the character writing and weird directions they take while being connected to the same universe.)

And Monty is a character voiced by Davis, who also voices Sun. So Monty started out as a prominent character on the Sun and Moon Show, and then got his OWN show... at a point in TSAMS history after Eclipse got the star and killed Lunar.

So yeah. I wish the playlists were better organized here. So we knew when each era starts.

(people say Matpat should get on this show lore... And noooooooo no thanks. Keep him away. We got you covered. Ceph honestly has enough info to make a video guide at this point.)

But long story short, Solar is a "Good Eclipse" from another dimension that the Old Moon introduced to Lunar, when Lunar was struggling with his trauma of leaving Eclipse. Good Eclipse and Lunar become friends.

Anyway, here are some key episodes that outline NewMoon and Solar's relationship, as Solar had never met the Old Moon.

Old Moon had never met Solar. It was New Moon who introduced himself to Solar to help defeating Eclipse once and for all. (and by this point lunar had died)

youtube

He was actually surprised that this Moon was a chill Moon and could be reasoned with and talked to, considering he was living a rather oppressive life from his own Moon.

There's also a whole episode saga of just these two bantering and talking while they work on the satellite together. I can't remember which specific episodes those are.

You can also see the difference between the Evil Eclipse and Good Eclipse here in one of my all time favorite episodes:

youtube

Moon saving Solar's life: (also the death of the bad Eclipse)

youtube

Everything is good and happy after Eclipse dies for awhile. (aside of Ruin and Bloodmoon wrecking shit) He goes back to his own dimension... and you get to see what his sad life is like:

youtube

From his Moon calling him "byproduct" and failure very often.

But... Something happens and Solar is forced to come to Moon's dimension

here's Solar at his poor little meow meow "I have nowhere to go" stage and just... thought to go to Moon immediately due to their history.

youtube

Moon's only question about Solar moving in, is that if he wanted him to blacklist his dimension once he heard what was going on with his Moon.

And immediately, Solar jumps in to help Moon with his problems.

Also during the halloween takeover part 2 electric boogaloo, Solar was the one to help get Sun and Moon back after being teleported to a different dimension with no hopes of returning

youtube

Also, after Ruin was cured and Bloodmon ran off, Solar rebuilt the ruined Daycare in a week. And Moon is so grateful for it. (i rewatch this episode a lot. It cemented the ship in my mind and built the commodity that they've been building up for months)

youtube

We also get what Solar's daily life is like so far... How out of place he feels, being someone from a different dimension, despite the Brothers (and sister's) insistence, he still doesn't really feel like he's part of the family. He feels like an outsider. (He also has less opportunities to hang out with Lunar. As he expressed interest in playing games with him like the good old days, and as of recently, they have not yet)

also a good example of the Celestial family changing minds on family dynamics because they are robots. Lunar flat out rejected Vegeta-Animatronic is his brother even if he technically is. Like, they're robots. They can change their relationships to each other based on their word. I like to see it more flexible then it is in reality with actual people/humans.

Moon also trying to make Solar feel comfortable and feel like he's adjusting well here. Expressing his concern for him doing so much for him and his family. And hoping to not pressure him into so much work.

youtube

As of recently, his Sun died, and he killed his Moon. And in his therapy session (on the Lunar and Earth Show) he expressed regret over "Leaving" them...

But he has not properly told anyone about this.

My reasoning is that he probably thinks that the family will jump on the chance to call him "Evil" .....They don't have good luck with Eclipses.... and every Eclipse they met other than him has been Evil. (that must weigh on you. Every version of yourself is deemed as evil across every dimension. You are the only good one. Maybe there is something wrong with you)

I'm already at the video limit, but on Lunar and Earth show, there is an interesting episode where Lunar goes into Solar's head, and his mindscape looks like the Willy Wonka TV room, because it was a movie he watched with his Sun before they separated and Sun died. Showing that he did care about his Sun a whole lot... Which is probably why he doesn't interact with our Sun that much alone.

He also compartmentalizes everything before he can feel emotions, playing his own memories in third person as if he's not experiencing them.

Not to mention, he organizes and separates his thoughts on NewMoon and HIS Moon, just so he won't associate the two.

I also missed what episode it was, but Solar is always the first to call Moon out when he's being angry, or irrational, and Sun admits in his therapy session, that Solar is the only person who can calm Moon down. (mainly cus he's used to it, but unlike his old moon, this moon listens)

Anyway...

I love Solar a lot, can you tell?

#danachan's replies #danachan's asks #solarmoon #solar x moon #Solar analysis

65 notes · View notes

surfinminho · 7 months

Text

Kinktober day 9- Age gap w/ Felix

⤷ warnings: fem!reader, dom!Felix, unprotected sex, oral(m), cumming in mouth, sex while otp(?)

⤷ word count: 1,38k

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

(Reader is 22 Felix is 34)

this was wrong, you knew it but you couldn't help it. He was the CEO of some big company and you were simply a secretary.its not ideal for you to date the "big guy" of the company. If anyone found out you were at high risk to lose your job.

It was almost like a ritual, every year the company would have something like a party to celebrate all the achievements and new workers for that year. You were supposed to start working the next day yet still being invited to go. What's the harm in going? The email you got said your boss is 'Mr.Lee'. You've heard not alot of people get to even see him let alone work alongside him. You were estatic to say the least.

When you get to the place, it was packed. You maneuver your way through the abundance of people towards a seat in the corner, you weren't much of a talkative or outgoing person so sitting in the corner on your phone was perfect for you.

Towards the end of the night, you find yourself in the hallway pressed up against the wall, felix kissing you like he's never kissed anyone before.

When you walked into a hallway, getting lost. Maybe it was because you had one to many drinks to have or maybe you just need some dick. You turned the corner to see a man, couldn't be older than 35 leaning against the wall legs crossed and his phone in his hand. When you look closer you realize it's the CEO, lee Felix. Besides the meeting you had with him a few weeks ago, you never really met him or officially "met".

He looks up from his phone when he heard footsteps. "Ah, __! Nice to see you again." He held out his hand to meet yours, keeping a firm grip on your palms.

"How do you like this so far?" He puts away his phone walking towards you.

"Oh! It's great, though I'm not one to, put myself out there you know?" You laugh at him before trying to get to your destination.

As soon as you take a step his hand stops you "I want to properly talk to you, like a conversation." he smiles, lighting dragging you back towards the wall he was leaning on.

You guys ended up talking for God knows how long. Talking about any random thing that comes to mind.

You come to find out that he's a really sweet person. Talking about his other friends who work in different departments, and stuff he does for his sister's. He was such a gentleman.

"You're such a pretty girl __, did you know?"

"I am?" You cock an eyebrow, confused at the sudden statement.

"Prettiest girl I've ever seen" he leans in, head tucked into your neck. With every breath he takes you feel the hairs on you back rise. You try and ease away from the situation, but with no where to move hence your back against wall. You find him gorgeous, obviously. He looks like a fucking angel in all the photos you see, nonetheless when his front is pressed up against yours.

"This dress is gorgeous on you, where'd you get it?" His voice drops an octive, rubbing you sides.

"Oh, it's a gift! I almost feel bad since it's a really expensive brand." It was a gift, so you didn't lie. From your friend you happens to model. They received a dress but it was the wrong size, leading them to give the dress to you.

"Really now? What brand baby" he cups your ass over the dress.

"Louis Vuitton" you look around to see if anybody is near or passing by.

"Let me buy you every dress in this color."

The statement caught you odd guard. Buy you stuff? Your friend never told you what the price of the dress was, in the hopes that you wouldn't return it. But you found it anyway, the price shocking you. 1 million dollars. You wouldn't have taken it if you knew. So having him say that he wants to buy you more?

"No, there's no need really!" You laugh trying to avoid to conversation.

"But I want to. C'mon let me spoil you."

__________________________________________

You found yourself inbetween his legs making out with him. You didn't want to let him buy you things, but you couldn't help but stay with him. Not because of his money, but because of his personality. He was a sweet soul, always being a gentleman. You like to think him giving you stuff is just a extra.

"let me please you" he whispers inbetween kisses, slipping down your straps of your tank top.

"I- we have work in like 30 minutes, w-we can't?"

"We shouldn't." He corrected "but I want to. Please baby? I'll call out sick for both of us" you wanted to, but you felt guilty for keeping him from his job.

"Okay."

He starts pulling down your pants, keeping your panties on.

He traces his thumb over the wet patch forming on your panties.

"Such a naughty girl. Getting this wet because of what? Some kissing? Pathetic."

He goes back to kissing your neck, going downwards until he reaches your breasts.

Your breath hitches, waiting for him to do something.

He doesn't pull the loose fitted clothing off, instead sucking on whatever was available.

He pulls down his pants with one hand, other hand hold you still.

He pulls his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock.

He nudges the tip on your clit trying to make you moan.

"I'm gonna give you the phone. Call and say you wont be available to come into work today."

You looked at him like you were seeing double. "You're joking?" You try to get him to laugh or even let out a little giggle but you get nothing.

"Do I look like I'm joking? Call them now." He's rubbing tip slowly along your folds.

"Im waiting I dont have all day."

You dial the number waiting for the person on the other end answers. As soon as they pick up Felix thrusts all the way into you.

He leans forward, elbows balancing up.

"Put it on speaker"

You remove the phone from your ear and put it on speaker, resting it on your side.

"H-Hello, yes good morning"

The other person on the line seems to be too happy for their own good.

"Good morning! How are you today" you can tell there is a smile lacing their face.

As soon as you begin to speak, his thrusts begin to quicken in pace. Hips barely meeting your thighs.

"A-ah yes about that, I am not feeling w-well today so I won't be able to make it fuck" he brings his hands to start rubbing figure 8s on your clit

"Sorry, what was that last part?"

"N-nothing!"

"Hm, okay. Well hope you feel better. Have a nice d-."

You didn't even wait for them to finish their statement, hanging up the phone immediately.

"Maybe kitten needs a reward. Did so good following directions right?"

"Y-yes please." you whine, trying to get him to move faster.

He flips you over, grabbing your hips before he starts to pound into you.

"S-such a tight fucking pussy. Only for me right?"

You nod Into the bedsheets unable to say anything.

"Words kitten"

'y- a-ah shit" he reaches over to your breasts, pinching your nipples.

"Baby, you're cumming, how can I move when you're clenching down on me like that" he grabs your hips pushing them off of his cock.

"Wanna cum in your mouth"

He proceeds to manhandle your body to get you in a kneeling position.

"Open." You stick your tongue out, waiting for him to feed you his cock.

He slides only the tip in when he starts jerking it off.

"Such a good girl hm? Making me use your holes like these"

You looked up at him and started to gently suckle on the tip.

"s-shit gonna cum in your mouth. You want it right."

You tried to nod your head but he shoves his cock down your throat.

"Then fucking take it"

#stray kids #surfinminho #skz x reader #skz x you #stray kids smut #lee felix #dom lee felix #kinktober 2023

127 notes · View notes

vitaminseetarot · 9 months

Text

New Moon PAC: What Seed Are You Sowing? 🌑🌱🌷

The New Moon is upon us, and it's time for us to plant new intentions for the next coming cycle. The sun is soon changing over into Virgo to tidy up summer's loose ends. Corn is being reaped. Yard sales abound. A new school year is approaching for many students. This is a time when things settle into the average and ordinary, at least until the full blue moon in Pisces is here, which will balance our cerebral productivity out with time for sensitive introspection.

This simple PAC will give you hints as to what seed you may already be sowing for your next lunar harvest, as well as suggestions on how to balance the "soil" it's planted in. Pick any one of the three produce cards from the Garden Variety oracle deck below and I'll see you at your reading!

(divider provided by @saradika)

Pile 1:

Onion (Complexity); Gemini Rising (Socialize); 37 Thistle (Dawn); Octopus; 4 Pentacles, 10 Cups, 8 Swords

"I sow deep, stable, healthy social connections. I must be confrontational instead of evasive."

Pile 1, I can see that your intention for this new moon is very focused on reconciling an old attitude involving new social contacts. Perhaps your manifestation involves parties, study groups, finding like-minded people online to chat with? In any case, you're not just seeking friends for the sake of having some random people to hang out with every now and then (although those kind of fair-weather friends can be just as great, it's a matter of being honest about it). You're currently seeking a kind of friendship of a deeper level. The person with whom you can have the "My Dinner With André" kind of conversations, long hours spent over cups of coffee. I'm even wistfully thinking about the kind of chance encounters you have with somebody interesting at a library, where there's a thrill to having intense conversations in whispers, or having somber debates in otherwise casual settings like cafés. It's a dreamy social encounter.

On the other hand, though, it seems like your mindset of socializing is fraught with the trappings of materialism and social niceties. Many people out there don't like that so many mornings begin with exchanges like "how are you?" or "weather's lookin' gray, eh?" or "I heard the LOL stocks are up this fiscal quarter". But that's how our system is structured right now. It takes a lot of effort and courage to bend beyond identifying with something other than work and safe topics in order to find social connection these days. Don't blame or kick yourself for struggling with this. It gets trickier the older we get.

Thistle is asking you to not avoid confrontation when it comes to meeting other people who might end up becoming a friend someday. No, I'm not talking about being ready for fistfights at any given chance. Be willing to be honest about the things with which you wish to connect with people. Don't assume you always have to pick the road of avoiding difficult topics to bond over simple things instead, like cars for example. The kind of friends you can welcome into your life will be the kind of people who want to hear what you have to say on the matters you care about AND like cars. You can be secure in knowing they share the same values as you. The best kind of friends will lend out an ear, a hand, or a heart to you when you need one, and judging by the energy in your cards, you have what's in you to lend to your future friends in the same way.

Octopus is also here to remind you about emotional boundaries, that of your own and others. It's a silent and sensitive animal of water because what it teaches almost goes without saying. But it still wants to give you a reminder. Maintaining them is important as well as respecting that of others. If someone respectfully comes to you to resolve a difficult conversation, or asking to avoid discussing something for personal reasons, it is honoring their space to respect that request, and vise versa.

Pile 2:

Strawberry (Affection); Taurus Moon (Relax); 17 Bluebell (Dusk); Crocodile; XIV Temperance, 9 Pentacles Rx, 10 Wands

"I sow quality time to relax in between my busy schedule. I must be kind to myself and allow myself this space."

Pile 2, maybe you're just looking for a spa day? I don't think just one, either. You seem like a sweet and caring person who's stretched themselves to the max here. All the worse when it seems like there's no time to really indulge in what you love most. Your reading is crystal. You're sowing the chance to truly, deeply, madly lay back and indulge. Not even indulge like eating a bunch of sweets or watching silly sitcoms (trying to compare my Taurus sun to Taurus moon here, the energies are quite different!). Just indulge as in "laying in one place while hearing birds chirp for hours". And it really seems depressing that it's even being thought about as an indulgence here. Simply laying back and enjoying nature is… human.

Perhaps, however, you're in the thick of finishing some big project before a deadline. The 10 of wands is carrying a lot, but with this card it's hinted that this carrying is completely necessary. If it's not a project, it's just something you can't immediately get away from in order to find this quiet time, like a crying baby or an important class in school. Maybe it's something where you feel like you have to do it all on your own. And maybe it's not the wisest choice to drop everything at the slightest chance and quit, but you've been feeling the urge to do so. What to do when you must push through and don't know when relief will arrive?

You're sowing opportunities for help to reach out to you, so that you may find the needed time to sit back and rest for a while. You must pace yourself with what you're doing and avoid burn out. To do this, you have to find a way to be kinder to yourself and know when enough is finally enough. Taking a break is not the same as giving up, or evading work. It's putting yourself in the position to be ready to tackle the next big thing. And if only this world we live in could calmly accept that we were not meant to work like robotic superheroes, and be more mindful of the body's cycles! Remember that you deserve to have time to rest and enjoy your life!

You can start with baby steps. Take five minutes a day to find a quiet place to meditate or simply close your eyes and breathe. Find new ways to add "pause" moments in your day where you stop to notice a bird, or stare out into the distance to comb out unneeded frenetic thoughts. Once you find these moments to center yourself, it gets easier over time to pace your energy throughout the day. Also don't be afraid of asking for guidance or for someone to come help. To use my life as a quick example, I'm often nervous to ask others to help me watch my pets while I'm away from home, but the reward for asking is huge. It beats being stuck at home with neverending duties for sure! In a weird way, your help may also personally benefit by aiding you. Remind yourself that there is more help abundant out there than you may first think.

Pile 3:

Zucchini (Versatility); Aries Sun (Assert); 24 Basil (Dawn); Turtle; 6 Pentacles, IX Hermit, Knight of Swords

"I sow a healthy exchange of generosity and mutual support. I must honor both my assertiveness and amicability to move ahead."

Yo pile 3, you should know that twice when I shuffled the tarot cards, a whole stack of cards flipped out of the deck at once. I picked out the first cards I saw, the 6 of pentacles and knight of swords, but I kept thinking "whoah there! Take it easy, I don't need all these cards for the whole story." My goodness, you must be in the mood to talk about something. What's got you all riled up? Your cards are like a whirlwind and I have to stop, takes breaks, and rewrite these words in order to collect my thoughts. You must have a lot going on all at once. Let me try to synthesize this energy as much as I can.

One of the first things I noticed about your pile were the orange stripes. They're featured on the Aries cat, Basil, and Turtle. I'm hearing something about "earning your stripes". You're sowing the chance to boldly head out and elevate yourself by embarking on the next chapter in your life. This could involve actual moving, or a major structural shift in how you work and relate. You are seeking a sense of true independence, and traveling seems to be the keystone energy that motivates that feeling. You want to charge ahead without looking back. The 6 of pentacles contains a secret though: none of us on planet Earth are truly independent of one another. We all contribute to each other's time and resource in some way. The way for us to create that sense of independence is by acknowledging that we do it by giving it back again and again.

You are being advised to stand up for yourself, and standing on your own two feet is great, but be open to receive help that other people may offer you, as much as you would do the same. There may be a person in your life, like a colleague, who can offer you advice on how to navigate your situation before you dive in. This could be a position where you're able to mutually help each other out with the same goal. Don't think you have to go it alone. Being adaptable to input could yield more opportunities for you to eventually strike it out on your own. It's a bit of a paradox here, but people are always going to like working with someone who's able to listen and speak out with equal fervor. The idea that true leaders can ignore what other people have to say has resulted in … not so great events in the past. The best leaders are the humble ones who don't constantly shut themselves away in an ivory tower but instead step out and offer help in times of need.

Find ways to ground yourself. It's not the same as settling for less. Your cards make me think of that one random quotememething that gets repeated everywhere despite me not remembering where it's from: It's saying, "Let's just, like, GO, man, we can just up and go, like, anywhere right now, bro." You've got a bit of itchy feet and you're looking to try out something new, maybe go somewhere new. You're at a point in your life where you can more easily absorb spiritual wisdom by staying on-the-go rather than settling for the same-old-same-old. If you wish to truly benefit from your traveling, however, it is often wise to stop for a spell and share stories with the locals. Share some food and connection. Spend time really taking in and learning from one place at a time. You'll have the time you need to go where you want to go and do what you want to do. Remember to enjoy the trip.

Pile 4:

Lime (Relaxation); Libra Moon (Sympathize); 12 Pimpernel (Dawn); Camel; 4 Cups, Ace Swords, 6 Cups

"I sow the chance to rekindle my childhood passions through gratitude. I must be more decisive about my future path."

Dear pile 4, there's a contrast between the soft heartfelt green and pink in your cards and with the gray foggy feeling I channeled. There's a fog moving through, it may be temporary but it's thick. Understanding and friendly you may be, but currently you could be struggling with staying on your own course. There seem to be a lot of other "voices" jumping in, like you're juggling between too many ideas and opinions that aren't yours and it's fogging intuition. You may be feeling lost as to where to go next in life. It may be easier for you to go with the flow than enact serious change at this time. But should any change come your way, it can only be facilitated by properly expressing your emotions and getting in touch with what you truly want for yourself. You're looking to bring passion and beauty back into your experiences.

You're sowing a spark of inspiration that brings you simple, unbounded joy with your creative passions again. It could be art, an old card collection, an arcade game, a hobby you used to enjoy, etc. The color is gradually coming back to your world. You're getting back in touch with your more childlike nature to reclaim your energy, finding the key to your path through these old joys. Nostalgia is like practicing gratitude for what we've been given in the past. Your energy will flourish through reuniting with what made your heart sing. Tapping into what you used to love will help guide your direction. It will also serve to decompress stuck emotions. You're balancing subtle yet turbulent emotions with warm clarity. You're undergoing a long journey for which warm and cold feelings must be brought to balance, as the Camel teaches. This way you don't exhaust your energy too soon before you've even taken the first step.

Being genuinely sad about what used to be in our life is just as healthy a nostalgic expression as finding joy in it. There can be just as much creative power in the deep feeling of impermanence and change. And to balance this energy, you must be willing to embrace both sides, both feelings at once, to allow your intuitive creativity to be fully released. I hear there is potentially a great idea or unexpected "eureka" moment through spending time in old passions where it all comes together. Have you ever gone back to watch a movie years later and upon watching again, pick up completely new and unique insights about a current dilemma? This is part of what you are sowing for this month. You might even go, "wow, I hadn't noticed or thought of it that way before!"

Before I finished your pile I was asked to go on a walk before sundown and it ended up being a very long and peaceful one. I used my intuition and gauged my comfort levels before choosing a path to walk down. I slowed down only when I became aware of how fast I was going so to notice the world around me. This is what you're learning to do this month, pile 4. You're able to pace yourself and take in your surroundings, unfettered by which direction is the 'correct' one to take. You're picking up cool rocks and pointing out large blue butterflies on the way. You're enjoying the journey for the journey itself. When you feel like life is going a little too fast, sometimes going back to what is familiar can help calibrate our senses. Let this month be a walk in the park for you.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

138 notes · View notes

batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months

Text

reading roundup: February 2024

I literally completely forgot I needed to do this oopsie poopsie

WHAT DID I READ IN FEBRUARY!!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Rouge (Mona Awad, 2023) - listen. there are some very cool ideas in this book, and it's definitely big creepy in places. some of the childhood flashbacks, in particular, had me shrieking with pure dread. but ultimately my issue with this book is the same as my issue with Awad's most well-known novel, Bunny: I would just... kind of like to understand what's going on? like even a little bit? at literally any time? you don't need to explain everything, but man, give me something. vibes alone do not make a meal, and I left this book not really feeling fed.

Our Share of Night (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2023) - god, this book makes you WORK FOR IT, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Enríquez has written a fucking doorstopper of intergenerational drama, about an Argentinian family deeply embroiled in a cult that worships something otherworldly and... hungry. perpetually sickly Juan is the Order's prized prophet, but after his wife's death is orchestrated by her own mother he becomes determined to get their young son, Gaspar, away from the Order's control by any means necessary. a wrenching read that swings through every kind of horror, swinging from the supernatural to Argentina's military dictatorship in the 70s to the AIDS epidemic in the 80s and 90s to an absolutely brutal ending.

Red String Theory (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2024) - some of you may recall that Lauren Kung Jessen wrote Lunar Love, one of my favorite romance novels of last year thanks to a zodiac-obsessed protagonist who's (unintentionally) giving major Rebecca Bunch pre-diagnosis in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vibes. Red String Theory also has a female lead obsessed with mythological matchmaking, so I was really hoping for another unhinged queen, but please don't make my mistake: everyone in this book is devastatingly hinged, and the only real conflict is two characters who like each other from the jump repeatedly coming up with unsatisfying excuses for why they can't date each other. my least favorite was "we'll only in the same city for A YEAR," which is absolutely hogshit wild. "only a year." get out of here. I hate you guys.

Drinking from Graveyard Wells (Yvette Lisa Ndlovu, 2023) - a tiny short story debut by Ndlovu, a Zimbabwean sarungano. one of my very favorite genre of short story collections is "women having a bad time taken up to 11," and god does this deliver. Ndlovu writes about the many indignities heaped upon Zimbabwean women at home and abroad, weaving together tight stories about misogyny, war, poverty, and immigration with restless spirits, bored gods, ignored wise women, and unsatisfactory afterlives. there's a story about a near future in which diamond miners are purposefully set up and sacrificed to an angry underground god to create more diamonds that was so fucking clever, and the final story - the titular Drinking from Graveyard Wells - was just... an absolutely perfect short story. suspenseful and eerie and just enough of a hint of explanation to really chill you. chef's kiss.

It Happened One Summer (Tessa Bailey, 2021) - shout out to all of my patreon supporters who voted to make me read another Tessa Bailey book; you truly wish darkness and despair upon me. here's the insane thing about this book: if you just completely ignore the actual central romance, it's just a sweet book about an infinitely likeable young woman unplugging from her shallow socialite life and finding a new niche reviving her deceased father's bar in a tiny fishing town in Washington. it's like, you know, the plot of a pretty okay disney channel original movie? it's no Minute Men or High School Musical, but it's cute. it's a solid Dairy Girls or Princess Protection Program. but then there's the love interest, who's just a fucking tool all the way down. reader, I kept wishing he would get swept over the rigging of his own crab boat and die ingloriously at sea. this guy sucks so bad. also the sex scenes were identical to the ones in Unfortunately Yours and they did not taste any better reheated. fascinating treatise on cishetero gender norms, rancid romance. I wrote a whole thing about it on my patreon if you're into that kind of nastiness.

#bookblr #reading updates

22 notes · View notes

jaehyunsprincesspeach · 9 months

Text

Just You and Me

Brb, crying, screaming, sliding down the wall...... i really let my delusions write this one for me omggg

Hope y'all enjoy!!

All the love ~ lunar

Pairing: Yuta x fem!reader

Wc: 2.57k

Warnings: Mentions of stress, anxious feelings, overwhelmed feelings, potentially the fluffiest fluff i've ever written

You're new to the world of fame. As exciting as it all is, you have also found it to be very overwhelming. People have been telling you your whole life that you should be a model, and one day you decided to just go for it. What did you have to lose right? When you were accepted by the top modeling agency of Seoul, you felt so many different emotions. Excitement, nerves, even fear, yet you went with it, wanting to see where this life would lead you.

It's been a month since you have moved to Seoul, and things have been chaotic, to say the least. You have made many friends from all over the world, and that has helped you with the transition, but you often felt that you have no time for yourself. Everyday you wake up, go to the photo shoot that is scheduled for the day, stand in front of cameras, sit in the dressing room changing looks, and when you are up for it, you get dinner with some of the other models. Everyday, the same routine, though you still feel the excitement with the variety of shoots you have been scheduled for. Still, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. Today is the first day you have not had a schedule in a month. What better way to relax than reading in a coffee shop? Lucky for you, you have found one in a rather quiet area, and have made friends with the staff. Walking in, they greet you with a smile, and prepare your coffee for you.

“No schedules today?”

“Nope, not today.” “Good, you deserve some time to relax too. Stay as long as you would like, let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you so much!”

Walking to a quiet corner of the coffee shop, you settle in and begin reading your book. A psychological thriller. Becoming beyond invested in your book, you fail to hear the group of boys walking, talking and laughing rather loudly. Other customers who are enjoying the peace give them sideways looks, while you keep your nose in your book. With the intensity of your reading, you also fail to notice that you have caught their attention. It’s no secret that you have become well known, and you stick out like a sore thumb as is, being a foreigner. It’s a wonder that the group didn’t notice you sooner.

Sitting in a different corner of the coffee shop, one of the boys in particular cannot take his eyes off of you. As the rest of the group continues talking and laughing with each other, there he sits, quietly observing you. He knows exactly who you are, yet to the world, the real you is still a mystery. One that he intends to uncover. In fear that he will lose his opportunity, he gets up, leaving the group of boys confused as he walks to you. Eyes wide open, and jaws on the floor, the group watches intently as the man approaches you.

“Hello, is this seat taken?” He says upon arriving at the table you are seated at, drawing your attention away from the book you are completely engrossed in.

“It's all yours.” You reply with a gentle smile, hoping your excitement is contained enough not to make the man uncomfortable.

If there is one thing that the world knows about you, it's that you have an immense sense of confidence. Not that you think you are better than anyone else, more so that you know your worth, and know that you work hard for the accomplishments you have received thus far. However, being caught off guard by someone you have admired for years, has your confidence slipping a little bit.

“You're y/n right? The recent model sensation?”

“And you're Yuta, K-Pop sensation?” You reply with your own question that you clearly know the answer to.

“So you do know me?”

“Yeah, big fan actually.”

“I'm honored that someone as beautiful as you is a fan of mine.”

“I could say the same about you.”

It's beginning to become a battle of confidence between the two of you, trying to see who will crack first. Everyone knows of Yuta’s confidence in himself. He knows he's attractive, and now, as much confidence you show to the world, Yuta himself is finding out just how unintimidated you are. Little does he know, you are actually screaming on the inside, though that is something that you refuse to show him.

After some time conversing with him, he must return to his schedules. Leaving you with a smirk, and his phone number, you feel like you are finally able to breathe. Adrenaline still coursing through your veins, you decide to head home for the evening, hoping that your flustered state will stay at bay until you are in the comfort of your apartment.

Immediately after closing the door, you happily dance all of the nerves out of your body. Still in shock from talking to THE Yuta Nakamoto, you sit on your couch and attempt to process what happened. Looking at the phone number, you debate on messaging him, thinking it could be too soon, but also thinking, what do you have to lose?

“Is this THE Yuta Nakamoto?” you message, making your joking sarcasm evident enough.

“No way, is this the y/n?” He replies, making you smile as he returns your energy.

The rest of the night is spent on and off messaging him, as he can only text when he has a break with his schedule. Giggles fill your apartment, and the feeling of butterflies is something that you can't contain. Little did you know, Yuta has the same feelings as you. Constantly smiling at his phone, and an immense feeling of butterflies in his stomach. This feeling for him is new. It's rare when he finds someone that he wants to constantly talk to, but he knows that this is the case when he feels the frustration of having to leave the conversation for his schedule. All he wants to do is talk to you. He likes your confidence, and witty comments. He finds it refreshing that someone can match his humor and return it just as well as he can. Both of you can already tell, this is the start of an amazing friendship, maybe even something more.

3 months later

It's now been four months of living in Seoul, and things are just as chaotic as ever. Though you have gotten used to the schedules and constant cameras, you find the most peace when you are with Yuta. Being that you have met all of NCT at this point, most, if not all, of your free time is spent with them. They have become your family, and slowly but surely, Yuta has become your home away from home. Many nights are spent in comfortable silence with him, the two of you doing your own things, simply enjoying each other's presence.

Upcoming events include more photo shoots, as well as your first invite to an award show. The show itself is for K-Pop, though you have been invited as well, being that you are one of the most well known individuals in all of South Korea at this point. Having you there is huge for publicity, being that you have been able to make friendships with many K-Pop idols. Plus, you want to go to show your support for your friends.

With only a few days till the award show, on the outside you are as confident as ever. But internally, you are completely overwhelmed, which is something that Yuta is not blind to. He knows you better than anyone else. He knows that you struggle in large crowds, but you refuse to show it. He knows that this will be the first large event you have ever attended, and your stubbornness refuses to let you show your nerves. What makes you the most nervous, is that you and Yuta are already being swarmed with dating rumors. You know how deeply that can affect not only your career, but his moreso. The rumors flying around have had you on edge for weeks, and though Yuta does a great job of calming you down when he is with you, all of those same anxious feelings are persistent.

You have hid the fact that you want to be with Yuta well, at least you thought you have. Even the photographs that have been taken of the two of you have shown nothing but a platonic relationship, refusing to so much as brush hands with him in public. Even in the privacy of your apartment, or his dorm, the only physical contact is a hug when he knows that you are not okay. Nothing more, nothing less. You have it set in your mind that he wants nothing more than a friendship with you, because as good as you are at hiding your feelings, he's just slightly better at it.

The day of the award show arrives, and you wake up nauseous, unable to keep any food down from the anxious feeling you have. You are put in the most beautiful black dress you have ever seen. Long, and form fitting, with a hint of sparkle. Diamonds drape across your neck, and hang from your ears, with a stunning makeup look done by your artists. It is easily the most elegant you have ever looked, and you are hoping that you will be able to make it through the award show without ruining the look.

Getting into the car, you take as many deep breaths as you can before arriving at the venue. Your style team is riding with you, doing their best to calm you down, yet the only person who you want to be with is him. Doing your best to control your anxiety, you are taken back by the sight you are greeted with when you arrive.

All of NCT has cleared a path, waiting patiently for you to arrive, with none other than Yuta standing at the end, waiting to escort you to your seat, which he has also made sure is right next to him. Getting out of the car, all of the guys begin to whistle at the sight of you looking like true royalty, while Yuta looks at you as if you yourself hung the stars in the sky. He is left speechless, as he extends his hand to you. Reaching for him, he can feel you shaking, yet your eyes never leave his.

“You look stunning, y/n.” He says with a starstruck expression.

“Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself.” You say, returning the compliment with a gentle smile.

“You know, these dating rumors are only going to get worse with all of this right?” You say with an uneasy tone, trying to avoid eye contact with the swarm of paparazzi around you.

“Let them. I want the world to know that the most beautiful woman in the world is mine.”

Finally, after months, you are left speechless. His words take your typical confidence, and leave you at a loss for words. Of course, he notices, and flashes you that smirk that makes your knees weak. After months of a battle of confidence, you are the one who breaks. You are the one left flustered, and he is enjoying not only your dress now, but your speechless state. As if that would be the end of it, you are led to an extremely crowded room. Pausing at the door, you feel a hand on the small of your back, with Yuta in your ear.

“Don't worry pretty girl, I'm not letting go.”

With that you take a deep breath, and start walking again. Your confidence is something Yuta has always admired, but your brave heart is what captured his. No matter how nervous you are, you always continue forward. He's mesmerized by you in every way possible, and he is making it known to the world. Finally reaching your seats, people are looking at the two of you with curious eyes. Yuta, taking notice of you looking around the room, places his hand on your leg, capturing your attention.

“Don't look at them, look at me. It's just you and me.” His words calm your wandering mind, and he sees you relax slightly, which brings a smile to his lips. Throughout the night, Yuta would say things like this when he notices you tense up. “You're doing good, pretty girl, confident as ever.” Though he knows your confidence is faltering. He keeps a hand on you at all times, knowing that you find solace in him being around. For the first time in your life, you find yourself enjoying the chaps of a crowded room, filled with wandering eyes, and cheers, and slowly, you begin to release the tension that you are feeling, which puts Yuta at ease as well. The night is filled with laughter, cheers and applause, and light hearted jokes, and you wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else by your side.

As things wind to an end, you are escorted back to your car by Yuta, who leaves you with a kiss on your knuckles. A bashful smile plastered on your lips, you look at him as if he is the only one in the world, and in that moment, he is. Getting into the car, he closes the door, and rushes to the driver, whispering something in their ear. Curiosity sparks in your mind, as he looks back at you and sends you a wink. Driving home, you can't help but wonder what he said, until you finally realize that the driver has taken the route to Yuta’s dorm, where he is waiting for you.

Walking up to him yet again, he takes you inside, and gives you some more comfortable clothes to change into. After throwing on his tee shirt and sweats that he handed you, you meet him in the living room, where he takes you by the hand, and swoops you off your feet, literally.

“The night’s not over, pretty girl.” Carrying you outside, to see a tarp hung in the trees, a bluetooth projector, fairy lights, and candles, he somehow managed to have your own private after party set up before you got there, rendering you speechless, yet again. Setting you back down on your feet, you look at the sight in front of you in awe, but Yuta is only looking at you. He takes you to sit down, before grabbing your hand again.

“Welcome to the after party.”

“Yuta, this is stunning! How did you manage all of this?”

“I had some help.”

“ I love it.”

“I meant what I said earlier, about the prettiest girl in the world being mine, but you didn't say anything back.” he says, letting his own nerves finally surface. Something you catch onto quickly. Before he can say anything else, you pull him into a gentle, yet passionate kiss.

“I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I'm all yours.” You say, looking deep into his eyes, as he is now speechless. Pulling you into another kiss, the two of you spend the night watching movies, laughing at the terrible jokes being made, and simply enjoying quality time together. The perfect ending to a day that is now engraved in your mind.

70 notes · View notes

sakurangelll · 1 year

Text

Intuitive message: Why do you have to be proud of yourself?

it's a general message so take what resonates and what doesn't just let it go.

choose the image with which you feel most connected/attracted

pile 1

Feel proud and thank yourself for having made the decision to be more free, for giving yourself the opportunity to be yourself. i feel that you have come out of a very negative atmosphere, you came out of a mental environment where you cared a lot about what others thought of you. you freed yourself from all those people who hurt you in the past. one day you just woke up and said “you know what? i'm gonna live my life in the way i want to. my life, my decisions”

I notice that you are a person who is a party person haha and i am not saying this as something negative, your energy is like the energy of a concert. the vibes you give me:

Be proud that you have learned to be your best company. you understood that there is nothing wrong with being "alone" (i don't know why at this exact moment i had a deja vu🤯maybe it's a sign for you)

I feel like you go on dates with yourself. you are not an introvert but you are not an extrovert either. i feel like you started going to a lot of concerts/festivals/parties since you decided to get ahead of that negativity. feel proud because with each step and decision you make, you are growing more.

The angel numbers of this intuitive message:

★ Angel number 1133. the number 13 is the number of lunar cycles that take place each year. Angel number 1133 indicates that we may benefit from aligning ourselves with the feminine power as an example for our conduct.

★ Angel number 145. your angels want you to realize that the changes you’ve been hoping for are about to happen. you are about to receive the rewards of your hard work. angel number 145 calls on you to make certain changes to your way of life. you have to let go of the old so that you can create room for newer, fresher energies.

Things that may resonate with you:

disco ball . maneater by nelly furtado . sexyback by justin timberlake . without my by eminem . blond hair . roller skates . y2k music . ibiza . spain . los angeles california . pay hard by david guetta . britney spears .

pile 2

You give me a loooot of vibes of being a witch, you don't necessarily have to be one, that's just the energy you project. you like to go to nature, you talk to flowers? you like to dance in the forest, your aura can be orange or purple. you have black or wavy hair, you wear a lot of long skirts, you wear a lot of rings with quartz/stones and you generally have your nails painted black. if you are a witch, you work a lot with plants, herbalism comes to mind. the vibes you give me:

You have to be proud of the magnificent style you have when dressing. i feel like you already know that haha. (personally I want to dress like you🖤) you are working on having and projecting an image that you feel proud and comfortable with and you are achieving it.

Also feel proud to be growing magically and spiritually, for growing your powers and talents. you like astrology, you work with the phases of the moon? (btw, today January 6 is world astrology day)

The angel numbers of this intuitive message:

★ Angel number 444. the number 4 is associated with determination, professionalism, and hard work, as well as completion and totality.

★ Angel number 234. go ahead and learn as many new things as you can.

Things that may resonate with you:

stevie nicks in general but specially her song edge of the seventeen . bohemian rhapsody by queen . 🦦 . the name “sam” . arctic monkeys . call me by blondie . 1973 . rosemary . rock music . abba .

pile 3

I feel like you're working on your shyness, and creating new habits? you are starting to do yoga/pilates, to eat healthier, to connect more with your inner self, to have a more peaceful mind. you have to be proud that you are creating healthy habits.

I feel that you are a person who likes poetry? you like to read, you like rain. you really like going to places that are surrounded by nature. you like lakes, rivers or waterfalls. the vibes you give me:

If you are working on your shyness i don't think you are doing it to be an extrovert, you are doing it to embrace your shyness/seriousness. you are realizing that there is nothing wrong with not being as open or sharing much of your life. you are at peace with yourself.

Angel numbers of this intuitive message:

★ Angel number 1234. this is the message guardian angels are sending you, to elevate your spiritual life. seeing angel number 1234 is a wake-up call for you to expand your comfort zone, to be brave and courageous for claiming what you desire.

★ Angel number 222. it is a number that guides you to move forward in harmony and faith as you build toward your soul’s desire.

Things that may resonate with you:

watermelon . mystery of love by sufjan stevens . “call me by your name” movie . fairy . european jazz . un bacio a mezzanotte by quartetto cetra . ain’t that a kick in the head by dean martin . alors on dance by stromae . je te laisserai des mots by patrick watson .

pile 4

You have to be proud because now you see your studies/school in a different way and by that i mean that you are giving the seriousness and the necessary/correct working hours to your studies. i like that despite that you are also taking time for yourself, you are not saturated with your studies, you know how to manage your time very well… although it was hard for you to be patient with yourself and not demand so much at work, you also know that a grade does not define how smart or good you are. you are beginning to have new strategies for studying?

You study business, history or tourism. the vibes you give me:

The angel number of this intuitive message:

★ Angel number 333. the number 3 is a highly creative and joyful number that signifies every aspect of the creative process, from inspiration and growth, to manifestation and completion.

Things that may resonate with you:

teddy bear . orange . everytime by ariana grande . wine . tennis . stupid love by lady gaga . ddu-du dud-du by blackpink . new jeans . kpop . 2007

217 notes · View notes

solitaireships · 3 months

Text

Cultural Reconnection

Happy Lunar New Year! To celebrate, I wanted to do a little selfship fic, and I decided with this one to do a modern AU focused on Helena and Chae-Yeong, partially bcs they have the same backgrounds as me with that so I know a little more about Seollal (Korean new year) things from my irl attempts to connect more with my culture

Full disclosure here, like Helena and Chae-Yeong, a lot of what I know about Seollal celebrations are things that I have recently taught myself from doing research online. This may not be a 100% accurate with how things are celebrated, and if it's not, I would appreciate anyone who knows more giving feedback! While it won't change things with this fic, bcs they also are still learning how to celebrate this properly, it'd help me out with my future LNY celebrations

Rating: Gen

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2325 words

Divider by saradika

Helena doesn’t cook very often. It’s not that she’s a bad cook, but with her and Chae-Yeong both hating being in the kitchen with other people, Chae-Yeong tends to be the one to make dinner more often than not. Helena figures that with how much food they’ll need for tonight’s Seollal celebrations, though, she could handle the majority of the cooking.

As she cooks, Helena’s in new hanbok that Chae-Yeong had bought for this. She’s had to be careful with it— the last thing she wants to do is stain the light green and pink fabric making up the layers of her clothes. Her hanbok’s chima is longer than any of the dresses or skirts she usually wears, but she likes the way it moves around her as she walks around the kitchen.

In some ways it feels like she’s not supposed to be wearing this— her grandmother never passed on much information about Korean culture to Helena or her mother beyond the food. But she’s worn hanbok before, and she reminds herself that this is a part of her culture, even if it’s something she grew up disconnected from.

It helps that Chae-Yeong’s in a similar boat to Helena. Both of them are a quarter Korean, both of them didn’t get many cultural things passed down to them, and both of them look white. Helena is used to feeling out of place everywhere she goes, never really feeling like she belongs to any community fully. But with Chae-Yeong, she actually feels like she’s not alone.

Trying to fill the many gaps in her knowledge of Korean culture is more fun with Chae-Yeong, though. That’s another thing that makes Helena feel less alone, less like she’s an imposter and doesn’t really count as Korean. And as Helena finishes up making their rice cake soup hopes that she’s able to make Chae-Yeong feel the same way.

“The soup is done, starlight!” Helena calls.

“Smells good,” Chae-Yeong says, coming into the kitchen with a bottle of sparkling cider in hand. She looks pretty in hanbok— she's dressed in has a bright red skirt and a black jeogori. The silver and pink norigae she’s wearing is a nice touch too with its butterfly charm, standing out from the rest of the outfit.

Helena thinks this look suits her well. Her hanbok even matches with the red and black paint along her prosthetic arm and leg. It seems to match her perfectly, and is a good reminder to Helena of just how pretty her wife is.

“Thanks,” Helena says. “Did you get the rest of the table set up?”

“Mhm.” Chae-Yeong sets the bottle down on the counter, digging through their drawers to find a bottle opener. “We’ll just need to get the last of the hot stuff plated, then everything will be ready.”

Helena turns off the stovetop. “Great. I’m hungry after cooking all day.”

“I’m sure it’ll all taste amazing, yeobo,” Chae-Yeong says. “Do you want me to help plate stuff?”

“If it won’t make you annoyed,” Helena replies, half teasing.

Chae-Yeong rolls her eyes but smiles. “Putting food on plates and cooking are too different things. And it’s not like you’re better.”

“I’m not. But it’s always good to be safe, you can get scary when you feel like it.”

“I don’t get scary.”

“Yeah, you do.” Helena nudges Chae-Yeong’s side as she walks past with a plate of bulgogi. “You look pretty like that, though.”

Chae-Yeong laughs, pausing the process of scooping some rice from their rice cooker to look at Helena. “You’re the only person in the world who could think I’m attractive when I’m mad.”

“Mhm, which is part of why I’m very lucky to have married you,” Helena says.

Chae-Yeong gives her one last little affectionate look before they both go back to plating their food. It’s a lot of work to do, but between the two of them, they’re able to get the job done quickly. Helena switches to bringing plates over to the table, doing what she can to remember where everything is supposed to be placed.

This isn’t like her and Chae-Yeong’s normal dinner arrangements. They have food set up practically covering every inch of it. At one end of the table is a collection of fruits such as Asian pears and apples, with a row of vegetables set up on plates behind it. The third row at the back of the table is where they set up their bowls of rice along with plates full of japchae and bulgogi. There’s a spot near the middle of that back row for the rice cake soup which Chae-Yeong brings in in two large bowls. Behind the table is a folding paper screen, one set up there especially for today. They’ve also set up a candle on either side of the table’s middle row, which Helena lights as she waits for Chae-Yeong.

It’s a lot of food for the two of them to eat. Far more than they’d usually prepare. Helena’s never been a big eater, and just looking at everything laid out in front of them is almost intimidating.

The food isn’t all for them, though. This year they’re trying something new. A part of Seollal is honoring ancestors with charye rites, and this year they’ll be making their first attempt at performing that.

Preparing an offering table was Helena’s idea. She wasn’t sure how Chae-Yeong would feel about it. Chae-Yeong’s relationship with her family was never a good one, and if she didn’t want to be part of the charye rites, Helena would have understood. Only Chae-Yeong’s biological father even seemed remotely worth honoring. Maybe none of Helena’s ancestors are either— her relationship with her maternal grandparents had been tense for years, and she doesn’t know much about any of her relatives beyond her grandparents.

But this is something that’s part of most celebrations of Seollal, and Helena wants to try this at least once. Chae-Yeong agreed to this too, and if nothing else Helena will be glad that she gets to do this with her wife. They had to make some substitutions, though— Helena read that alcohol is usually offered to ancestors, but neither of them drink so instead they opted for a sparkling cider. Incense is also used for charye rites too, but the smell makes Helena feel sick so instead they have a reed diffuser set up on the table by the vegetables.

“Are you ready to do the honors?” Helena asks as Chae-Yeong comes to rest her head on her shoulder.

“If you are,” Chae-Yeong says. “I’m still not sure I’m the best one to be handling this, though. There wasn’t a ton of information about what I’m supposed to be doing online.”

“You’ll do great,” Helena promises, reaching back to give her wife’s hip a quick squeeze.

Chae-Yeong takes a deep breath. It’s rare that she’s ever nervous, but that she’s clearly worried about this is a sign of just how much it matters to her. This is a part of her culture too, a part that neither of them are experienced with. They both want to get this right.

Knowing Helena’s not alone in this is nice.

But it’s also nice seeing the way any nerves fade away as Chae-Yeong begins performing the charye rites. She pulls a piece of prayer written in Korean from one of the pockets built into her skirt, placing it on the table before calling out towards their ancestors in a greeting, welcoming them to the table. She’s always been good at coming off as confident even when she’s new to something, and she looks like she’s done this a thousand times as she pours a cup of sparkling cider as an offering. She places a pair of chopsticks on the plate of bulgogi and leaves a spoon in one of the rice bowls.

Chae-Yeong moves to move the paper screen, unfolding it more so it hides the table from view. Her skirts rustle around her as she makes her way back to Helena.

“Alright, we’ll have to step out for a bit now,” Chae-Yeong says.

Helena nods and lets her wife lead the way out of the dining room and into their living room.

“Are we supposed to just sit in silence while the ancestors eat?” Helena asks as she closes the door behind her.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find anything about that when I was figuring this out,” Chae-Yeong admits. She takes a seat on the couch. “I’d say we try to be quiet just to be safe. That feels more ceremonial.”

“Okay.”

Helena sits down next to Chae-Yeong. She doesn’t usually like sitting around in silence for a long time— her mind wanders easily, and usually it wanders towards rumination and everything in her life that’s stressing her out. But with Lunar New Year on her mind, she finds her thoughts going to better things for once.

She wonders what her great-grandparents would have thought of her and Chae-Yeong. She never met them, and she never heard stories about them either. There are no puzzle pieces for her to put together, there’s no story she can create from scraps of information. Most of her family tree is a mystery to her even as she honors them.

But Chae-Yeong’s not a mystery at all. Helena knows how to read her unlike anyone else, knows every single one of her little quirks by heart. She’s someone who makes sense, and Helena’s always grateful for their similarities. She makes life so much better for her, and she hopes that regardless of who her great-grandparents or even her great-great-grandparents were, they’d at least be proud of her for finding someone she can be herself around. Maybe they’d be proud of her for reconnecting with her roots, for trying to follow cultural traditions even if it took her a long time to do so.

Family is weird, and it’s complicated, but Helena hopes that there’d be someone in Chae-Yeong’s family that’s happy for her too. And if no one else is, then Helena will be proud of her for them.

The five minutes they’re away from the dining room pass quickly. Chae-Yeong’s leg brushes against Helena, getting past her skirt so that she can feel the plastic of her prosthetic foot brushing against Helena’s lower leg.

Chae-Yeong breaks the silence with a cough. “We’re good to head back in.”

Helena gets up first, waiting a second for Chae-Yeong to get up after her. She stretches as she gets up, making a soft grunting noise.

Nothing’s different as the two of them make it back into the dining room, though Helena feels like it should be. She hopes that this is what they’re supposed to be doing, as Chae-Yeong makes her way to the table again. She moves to put the folding screen back in its original position, revealing the table again. She goes to take the chopsticks from the bulgogi, then the spoon from the rice bowl.

“We’re supposed to bow four times now,” Chae-Yeong says as she rejoins Helena. “It’ll help send the ancestors back to the spirit world.”

Helena hums in response, taking four deep bows along with Chae-Yeong. She hopes that if anyone is watching from the other side, they appreciate the food she and Chae-Yeong prepared for them.

Chae-Yeong strides over to the table again, now taking the written prayer from it and burning it over the candle. The ashes fall down onto the table, and Helena notes that next year they should use a tablecloth.

“Okay,” Chae-Yeong says. “Since we don’t have any ritual things outside of that prayer, I think that’s about it aside from eumbok.”

“Great,” Helena says. Now it’s her turn to step up to the table.

It’s hard to say if that’s what the ceremony was supposed to be like when she has no frame of reference for it. Now that it’s over, she can’t help but worry that they did this wrong. She heard that people usually eat dried fish for Seollal— they didn’t have any of that, maybe that means the food offerings aren’t right. And they might not have done the ceremony itself right either, it was hard trying to find resources online about how to do this. She knows that she’s probably being irrational, and she’s probably holding herself to too high standards, but worry still eats at her.

“I think we might be doing this wrong,” Helena says, frowning down at the table.

“Maybe,” Chae-Yeong replies. Her arms wrap around Helena’s waist as she hugs her from behind. “But I like trying this with you.”

Helena can’t help but smile at that. “Yeah. I like it too.”

It’s not perfect. Helena knows it never will be, no matter how much she wishes she could push everything into place. But she thinks she can be content with imperfection if Chae-Yeong is.

So she leans back to give Chae-Yeong a quick kiss on the cheek.

“How about we go ahead and eat, then?” she suggests.

“Sounds good.”

As they sit down at a corner of the table, Helena looks at all of the food laid out before them. It’s impressive to think about how much they managed to make in one day, and even if things aren’t perfect, Helena thinks now that she’s happy with how things turned out. They’re definitely going to have a lot to eat, though, and she’s sure they’ll be eating leftovers for a long time after this.

Helena takes a slice of Asian pear, offering it to Chae-Yeong. She takes it between her teeth, biting off a piece with an affectionate look at Helena.

She’s lucky to be going into this new year with Chae-Yeong. Everyday with her is a gift. And Helena hopes that when they eat their rice cake soup, symbolizing growing a year older with the lunar new year, this will be one of many more years spent together.

#selfship fic #selfship #safeship #safeship fic #my writing #my posts #lunar new year #💫 Modern AU 🌙#💫 shepherd’s delight #💫#🌙 helena

19 notes · View notes