#this is why near future sci-fi wrecks me

[comfortcomfortdeercat]

For a while, therefore, it looked like the great heat wave would be like mass shootings in the United States-mourned by all, deplored by all, and then immediately forgotten or superseded by the next one, until they came in a daily drumbeat and became the new normal. It looked quite possible that the same thing would happen with this event, the worst week in human history. How long would that stay true, about being the worst week? And what could anyone do about it? Easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism: the old saying had grown teeth and was taking on a literal, vicious accuracy.

Kim Stanley Robinson, The Ministry for the Future

Well this sure fucked me up.

#kim stanley robinson #the ministry for the future #this is why near future sci-fi wrecks me

[thevindicativevordan]

Why I Like Superman

This is a post I’ve been going over and over in my head, trying to suss out my feelings. The simple fact is I love Superman, and I have for as long as I can remember. I wore Superman pajamas as a kid. I watched cartoons like Superman: The Animated Series, Justice League, Legion of Superheroes, and was hyped as hell when he showed up on The Batman cartoon. I drew variations of the S-shield all over the sides of my school notebooks, and I tied a towel around my neck and pretended I could fly.

One of my favorite Xbox games to play was the Superman Returns tie-in game (remember those?), because it was the only game I could play that let me fly around, shooting off heat vision and freezing people with arctic breath. I still remember the opening that had you destroy asteroids, and being absolutely wowed as a kid by the big finale which had you slam into the largest asteroid at supersonic speed to destroy it. Took me forever to beat the Warworld arena level though because I didn’t know how to block.

Because there were no local comic shops near my home for me to go buy issues at (not that I even knew what a local comic shop was at the time), I kept up with his, and the rest of my favorite DC heroes adventures, via reading the DC wiki. I spent so much of my time waiting for my mom to get off the computer so I could go online and catch up that my parents installed parental blocks because they were worried about what I was doing.

In short he’s been a constant favorite of mine throughout childhood, through my teenage years, and straight on into adulthood. I never developed the dislike or distaste for him that some people did, and he never dropped out of the top spot for me like he did for others. There were times when he shared the top spot for me with Batman and Spider-Man, until One More Day wrecked my relationship with Spidey and I grew bored of the endless cycles of Batman being a dick to the Batfamily and then learning he needs them. But even throughout his lowest points (and God have there been so many of those in the last decade), he’s remained the top guy for me.

But why? I think it’s in part because of the type of genre he embodies. He is of course The Superhero, and he lives in the genre he founded, but he also lives in a type of optimistic science fiction genre that’s downright extinct nowadays. As a kid I was a massive science fiction fan, and my dad was friends with a guy who was also hugely into science fiction. This guy had a basement full of science fiction books written from the Golden Age of Science Fiction, up until the cyberpunk era kicked off in the 1980s. He was happy to hand novels off to me, and his private library beat the hell out of our public one. I devoured stories of fearless heroes in space exploring new worlds, first contact with alien races, mindbending new technologies that seemed like magic, about transcending our mortal flesh and becoming part of a universal, transcendental whole, stories that didn’t just talk about technology but about the human condition. Stories that while sometimes bleak, painted a positive picture of the human ability to overcome our inherent flaws and be a powerful force for good. And ultimately Superman speaks from the same source.

It’s not just about the powers, although those who completely dismiss their appeal are making a mistake I believe. It’s about humanity, about our ability to transcend our base natures, reflected in this Strange Visitor from Another Planet, who embodies our virtues and our vices, who is torn between the fear of doing too much and the fear of doing too little. Who hides his true self behind a pair of glasses because he craves the fellowship of humanity more than any amount of glory or riches. His no-kill rule a firm affirmation of the value of life, all life everywhere no matter it’s form. His greatest love, Lois Lane, is his co-worker and greatest rival as a reporter, who has everyone’s number in her phone, be they crime lord or living saint. His greatest friend, Jimmy Olsen, is the guy everyone else ignores or bosses around, but is a rich kid weirdo who gets up to all sorts of bizarre adventures that keep the Daily Planet afloat. His childhood friends are superheroes from the future, his home City of Metropolis is 10 years ahead of everyone else in terms of technology, his dog can shatter concrete via barking at it, his home den is a ice crystal castle situated at the North Pole, like Santa’s Workshop. In short his life is one where even the mundane corners hide fantastical attributes. By living among us, he helps to elevate us, to make our daily grind interesting by seeing through the lens of his life. As others have said, we walk our dogs around the block, he walks his around the solar system.

But it would be a mistake to assume that Superman doesn’t tackle the darker sides of life too. Even the most optimistic sci-fi novels that I read as a kid had dystopic elements in them, intended or not. His home planet of Krypton was our technological superior, yet ignored the warnings of it’s chief scientist, and died a victim of it’s own greed and arrogance with Kal-El as the Last Son. His birth parents died in the fires of self-perpetuated genocide, his adopted parents the Kents often fall to mundane heart diseases or accidents, which even his power can not save them from. His greatest enemy Lex Luthor, is the one person who can understand his loneliness, his need for the public’s approval and acceptance, and yet the shared enmity between the two has ruined any chance of them forming a friendship that could have been. The shining City of Metropolis venerates Luthor as well as Clark, reflecting the greed, selfishness, and callousness of it’s other favorite child. Suicide Slum stands as a testament to the limits of how much Superman can improve life. The Phantom Zone is a spinechilling example of the inhumane treatment of prisoners. His foes ran the gauntlet from greedy businessmen out for money at any cost, to victims who have suffered at humanity’s hands and seek revenge, to sociopaths who treat other peoples pain and lives as a source of amusement, to murderers who care not from where the blood flows, only that it does, to tyrants who seek to crush all resistance underneath their heel, to gods who wish the elimination of free will itself. Each of them force Superman to confront the fallibility of human nature and wrestle with whether or not his faith in both them and himself is justified.

In a sentence? I love Superman because he’s a character you can do almost anything with, from comedic hijinks, to serious dramas, to distributing horror stories, to exciting adventure stories. He reminds me of the best type of science fiction stories, ones that explore people and existence from all sorts of angles, that never lose sight of the emotional human core at the heart of all the high concept existential concepts. He’s made me laugh, cry, think, get motivated, get angry, and sometimes just get writing. He brings the big ideas and the human emotions that keep me reading comics throughout all the Big 2′s bullshit. He still believes in the human capacity for good, in spite of our flaws, in spite of how few of us seem to believe in that capacity ourselves, and he shows us that it’s still there by touching our hearts through his stories. That’s why I like Superman, and why he’s my favorite superhero.

#superman #dc comics #lex luthor #lois lane #me

[zankivich]

The First Time: Werewolf Shawn! x Black Reader

a/n: So hear me out...I really fucks with this. If you don’t that’s unfortunate. It takes place in the In My Blood universe but could definitely be read as a stand alone piece. I kind of love these characters so I might write more for them in the future? Let me know if that’s something you’d like to see! 

Warnings: Smut. Just smut. And a little bit more smut. 

Getting Shawn into bed is actually the hardest thing in the world. Even after you accept the fact that your boyfriend turns into a wolf that is in charge of over wolves and they all can hear each other’s thought and run like fucking wolves together, this man still has the audacity to keep you waiting. And in the kindest way humanly possible...you just could not take it anymore.

It’s another night of you staying over at Shawn’s. He had cooked you dinner. Had watched netflix with you on the couch and ran his fingers through your hair. He even let you move your way into his lap, lips trailing up and down his neck. But, once again, the second your hips began to move in interest, he locked those obnoxious arms of his around your waist to stop you. Ugh.

“Baby.” He whined peering up at you with those beautiful eyes of his. “You have no idea how hard you’re making things.”

You snorted. “I do know how hard I’m making things. What I’m confused about is why you’re not doing anything about it.”

“You know why.” He sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He was beginning to sound like  a broken record.

“No. Stop that shit. Stop saying you’re going to hurt me. You’re not. You couldn’t. You would never hurt me. You’re my mate, right?”

“But sweetheart--”

“Right?” You pressed. “Would you ever hurt me Shawn?”

His eyes turned a deeper more amber version of the honey you knew so well. You’d begun to recognize it as his wolf response to being challenged, or hearing anything that his alpha self didn’t like. White boys are so dramatic.

“Of course not. Never.”

“Exactly. So, why don’t you just come make me feel good then?” You whispered grabbing his chin between your fingers and kissing him roughly.

You held his cheek in your hand, fingers melding to his warm flesh as your tongue nestled into his mouth. He groaned against your lips and let you do as you pleased for a moment. Your body began to heat up as he kissed you back, as his teeth nipped harshly against your lip. It was bruising and passionate and heated, which only made you want more. You just wanted more of him.

“I promise to repay the favor.” You whimpered fingers resting in his hair.

His arms around your waist tightened until he was gripping more harshly on your hips. Finally he was matching your kiss with the hunger that you always felt beneath the surface. This is what you’d been wanting for so long. When you were mates with someone there was an impulsive need to take care of them, to please them. It was instinct that you had been fighting damn near since you met him, and one that you were quite frankly tired of neglecting.

“Please? I need you.”

One second, you can feel his heartbeat through his t-shirt, can practically feel the tension in his body as he’s kissing you. It’s the same as always. He’s building you up, making your heart race increase, and touching your body in ways that only teases you. The next you are actually flying through the air as he throws you over his shoulder and heads for the stairs.

“Shawn!” You giggled. “Put me down!”

“Can’t take you anywhere.” He grunted heading straight for his room. “You’ll be the death of me, you know that?”

You slapped playfully at his ass.

“Once you go black, you never go back, baby!”

“You’re such a dork!”

He lets your body fall with a slight bounce to the bed before crawling right in after you. His thighs bracket your hips and his eyes, honey and golden as ever, peer at you like he could pull back every layer until he got to your soul. You didn’t want to just be intimate with him, you wanted to feel him in a way you never had before. You wanted to share everything that you were, every part of your being with him. He was Shawn. He was your mate. You needed him in the exact same way he needed you.

“I love you so much.” He hummed thumb running softly along your bottom lip.

You parted your lips, nipping playfully at the digit before letting your tongue snake around it.

“God. You’re gonna destroy me aren’t you?”

You shook your head. “No. Just gonna love you a little bit. Just want to touch you is all.”

“Jesus...C’mere.”

His lips find yours again and it’s immediately back to the level of passion from downstairs. You worm your arms around his neck and he props your legs around his back. Things shift when his hips start to press against yours in interest. Shawn had always been so reserved that you weren’t ready for the feeling of him rutting against you, or the feeling that it would stir within you either. Your thighs tightened around him and a moan was stifled by his mouth  as you tried desperately to feel more of him. It was all about more. You had never felt anything like it in your life.

“You’ve gotta get these clothes off.” He huffed pulling back just enough to tug at your t-shirt.

He made quick work of your bra, warm calloused hands reaching for the underwear you’d worn underneath them. His eyes bore into yours, the color much darker than before. Almost amber. You had never seen his eyes that shade before and you quickly got lost in them. So, when the ripping sound came you barely noticed until your underwear was in your boyfriend's hands in complete tatters.

“Holy shit.”

“I told you.” He grunted pulling his t-shirt over his head in one smooth motion.

He hovered over your body, abs poised and veins prominent beneath his arms. He looked absolutely ridiculous. And you loved every single moment of it. When his sweats come off and he’s tugging at those boxer briefs, you don’t dare to blink just in case he changes his mind. Just in case he takes it all back. When he wraps his fist around himself because he’s already hard, you get the sense that this time is different. Way. Different.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.” He murmured, voice husky

You tilted your hips slightly up as an open invitation.

“Now’s your chance.”

When he manhandles your legs open and slots his head between your thighs, it’s a new level of drunkness in your veins. His curls tickle and his tongue is warm and languid. It’s like he’s mapping you out from the inside, exploring everything you have to offer. And god it feels so good. You’re whining like you’ve ever whined before, and your hips won’t stay still. He laps at your clit and it feels excellent. You’re thoroughly convinced that it can’t get better. And then he wraps his arms around your hips from underneath your thighs and threads his fingers together against your stomach as he begins to suck hard and tight in a way you’ve never felt before. His arms are like iron bars. There’s no movement, no breaking his grasp. You absolutely lose it.

“Oh my fucking god!”

His head bumps rhythmically against your stomach as he eats you out like it’s the only thing he was put on earth to do. Your entire body tenses and you tug desperately at his curls, but he only slurps harder. His tongue becomes pointed and he quickly starts laving against the most sensitive part of your being. You don’t even know when your orgasm starts because it feels like you’ve been shattering ever since he touched you.

“Shawn. Shawn. P--Please baby I’m gonna cum!”

If you had a brain cell left in the world you would’ve laughed at yourself for how embarrassingly high--and loud--you were but holy shit. This was not some normal fucking. This was some sci-fi, my boyfriend’s a werewolf which apparently translates to having the best tongue game in existence type fucking. How dare he.

When he pulls his head back finally your thighs twitch anxiously without him. Your body is wracked with pleasure, and you’ve never been so turned on in your life. It doesn’t help that he’s staring down at you with those fucking eyes and those swollen lips like a GQ cover titled “I can eat your girlfriend’s pussy better than you”.

“You smell so good.” He groaned large hands grasping at your thighs to pull you back closer to him. “And you taste...damn baby, you taste so good.”

You whined softly, still sensitive as he ran his thumb through your wet folds.

“If i hadn’t just came my brains out, I’d break up with you for making me wait so long for that.”

He chuckled moving smoothly onto his arms so that he was over on top of you again. Your eyes locked and he kissed you gently, in a way that was so drastically different from just moments before. He licked deep into your mouth, cradling your head in his too big palm. It was maybe the most loving kiss you’d ever shared, and it kind of gave you whiplash. But, like, the best whisplash ever. Your toes curled against his thighs and your stomach felt so full of butterflies. You’d never felt so loved than when he was kissing you like that.

He moved to pressing staccato like kisses to your cheeks and down to your neck and clavicle, kisses beginning to linger until he was sucking into the flesh.

“Y/n?” He whispered after he’d sucked a mark into your neck below your ear.

“Y--Yea?”

“I’m gonna wreck you.”

There are some moments in life where one most come to terms with their unpreparedness. Perhaps you thought you studied well enough for a test only to look at the first question and realize the error of your ways. Perhaps you got a job that you were slightly underqualified for, and had to pick up the slack. Or, perhaps you had just wanted to make love with your boyfriend, only to find that he had every intention of leaving you bed ridden. When you peered up into Shawn’s eyes as he sheathed himself with a condom, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind. The alpha was out to play. And you were surely about to get more than you could have ever dreamed of asking for.

When your bodies lock together it’s another new feeling. You’d been with plenty of partners in the past, but this was something entirely different. Mated love making was supposed to be more intense because you were in a sense bonded to each other. He was made for you. And you him. It was like one of those thousand puzzle piece sets, with the two most satisfying pieces coming together with ease. He filled you and it was the most erotic feeling you had ever come across. You felt full, felt like he was reaching something in you that had gone untouched. Your back arched involuntarily and you released a sound that had him panting against your collarbone. It had barely started and you already felt gone.  

“Fuck. How do you feel this good?” He whined.

You groaned nails digging into his hips.

“So good, baby. Please move. I need it.”

“You need it?” He whispered eyes peering down at your lips.

You nodded trying to peer up at him with innocence as you twitched your muscles purposely.

“Need all of it.”

“Jesus, y/n.”

He pushed closer, the back of your thighs meeting the front of his. Your legs fit perfectly over his shoulders and he reached for the headboard as his hips began to move slowly at first, searching and stretching you. It was as if he could feel how you were feeling, because the moment you grew accustomed to him inside you, he was pulling out and slamming back in like fucking freight train.

“Holy shit!”

He fucked you like he owned you. His hips were rugged and quick, slapping so roughly against you that you couldn’t tell what was up and what was down. A fine sheet of sweat took over both your bodies and you could smell him. God you could smell him and it only turned you on even more. It wasn’t just that he was moving fast, but that he moved so incredibly deep within you too. He shifted his hips again and again until he touched a spot that had your back arching clean up off the bed.

“Oh my god, Shawn!”

“Is it there?” He grunted not letting up even remotely. “Right here?”

“Y--Yea! Holy shit, yes!”

He pulled back off the headboard one hand gripping your thigh and the other gripping your waist as he shuffled to rut against the spot insight you that would have you bursting for him like an overripe fruit on a hot summer day. When you came it was like a wave that drifted aimlessly back before crashing on top of you all at once. Your hands pushed at his wrists, but it was useless. He kept fucking you through it until you came again, one right on top of the other. His strokes only got  louder, more wet and squelching as your legs shook.

“Fucking look at you.” He hummed grabbing your waist tighter. “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

He slid out of you and let your legs drop to the bed allowing you to breathe for perhaps the first time since you’d entered the bedroom.

“Holy shit, Shawn.” You gasped voice high,  grabbing at your boobs just so you could feel rooted to the planet again.

He chuckled. “You’ve said that before...Flip over. I’m not done yet.”

Holy. Shit.

“Don’t you think doggy style is a little cliche in this scenario?” You asked in a desperate attempt to find some footing in this situation.

He ran his fingers along your ankle and licked at his lips.

“I could flip you over myself. I was just giving you the opportunity to do it yourself, sweetheart.”

You barely recognized him in this state. Mostly because Shawn was always sweet as sugar to you. His alpha side had always been reserved for the pack. He had never ordered you before. This was certainly new. And most definitely the hottest thing you’d ever experienced. Wow.

“Lay on your side.” He directed as you began to shift.

You raised an eyebrow and peered back at him, but he simply tapped lovingly at your thigh.

“Trust me. You’ll love it.”

You did as he asked, biting your lip as he immediately shuffled forward on his knees and raised your leg over his shoulder again.

“Is there some kind of wild sex demon gene in the werewolf genome that I don’t know about?”

He snorted and reached for his length easing slowly back into you and stretching you with you a groan.

“Nothing genetically. Just want to please you.” He whispered pushing deep into you. “Can I please you, baby girl?”

“Yes. You. Can.”

His palm lands on your ass and he uses it for leverage to begin moving inside you. It really is different, in that this position allows him to get deep and stay deep and it’s absolutely incredible. Your toes curls against his shoulder and he only moves harder until he’s not even pulling out anymore, he’s just rutting against you again. Your eyes flutter close and your fingers dig desperately into the sheets. It feels like you might explode already.

“Goddammit Shawn. That’s so fucking deep.” You whined. “I can’t, baby.”

“You can. You’re doing so good, honey. Feel so good around me. Wanna make you cum again, okay?”

The bed is rocking. You can’t grab hold of anything that will make you feel less like your body is floating. And now he’s gripping your hips with those fucking arms and drilling into you again, hips snapping against your heat, grunts leaving his lips that are animalistic and hungry. You’ve never felt so gone. You can’t keep it in so you reach for a pillow to stifle your moans--or screams, but who’s keeping track--only for him to reach over and snatch it from you.

“Don’t do that.” He whined, voice soft and breathy. “I wanna hear you when you cum for me.”

His curls are damp with sweat and he pushes them back on his forehead before licking at his fingers to get them wet. He reached between your legs to angle at your clit, all the while fucking you into the bed without mercy. The last thing you remembered was him biting into your ankle. It was the most weirdly possessive thing you’d ever experienced, and for whatever reason--in conjunction with the clitoral and vaginal stimulation--it had you cumming like a water faucet.

Your hips thrashed beneath his hold and his goal of being able to hear you was dutifully reached as anyone within a quarter mile probably heard you cry out. It felt so incredibly good. Your orgasm was this long, drawn out moment of indescribable pleasure. Your body was hot and you couldn’t quite breathe. Whatever he was doing to you was a completely foreign experience, and you were reveling in every new height that you reached together.

“Fuck.” you groaned as he left your body to plop down beside you.

You were an absolute wreck panting and gasping like you’d just run a 5k. Shawn peered over at you with a smirk watching the way that your chest rose and fell. Something about it must have been erotic to him, because before you knew it he was leaning over to grip your boobs firmly in his hands, tongue tracing one of your nipples playfully.

“Babe--Babe you gotta stop...I--I can’t.” You begged.

He pressed his sweaty curls against your neck and hummed.

“I’m sorry I just...God I want you.”

You moaned at his words and ran your fingers through his hair.

“How have you not cum yet?” You groaned.

“I was built to please you.” He whispered. “I’m your alpha. Your mate. I wasn’t focusing on my pleasure; I was focusing on yours.”

You peered down at him, his face still hidden in your neck as goosebumps appeared all over your body. He was built for you. That was the most fulfilling thing you could ever think of. To know that as much as you could ever love him, as much as you could ever want him, he would always give it right back to you. It was the type of love you’d never even thought to wish for, and yet it had plopped right in your lap. And you never wanted to let it go.

You tugged softly at his curls until his eyes met yours and you could kiss him with all of the love and the wonderment that he had shown you that night and every night that you were together. His cheeks so warm and rosy in your palms. His tongue, soft and pliant in your mouth. Everything about him was perfect. And all that you do was yearn to please him in the same way.

“One more time.”

His eyes widened slightly and he ran his thumb soothingly along your jaw.

“You sure? We can be done, baby. I can take care of myself.”

You shook your head stubbornly. “C’mere.”

He slid between your legs once again, the blankets pulled up around the both of you to hide where your legs were nestling around your hips. He kept your lips attached as you worked through the stretch of him filling you once again. You were just the right side of sore and you grabbed aimlessly for his ass to pull him deeper against you with purpose. Your thighs tightened and your pelvic muscles tightened and he cried out for you like you’d been crying out for him all night long. His hands turned to fists in the sheets and you couldn’t help but watch him in amazement as he finally lost his cool for the first time.

“F--Fuck. Baby, please.” He grunted, jaw tight with tension.

You swirled your hips and grinded tighter against him.

“Don’t hold back for me. Just want you to cum.”

He pulled back just enough to make eye contact with you. His arms settled on either side of your head and he pulled out just enough to have your back arching as he pushed back in. The eye contact now was stifling, your stomach tightening every time he moaned against your lips. You wormed your arms around his neck and met his hips thrust after thrust. His eyes got visibly darker and his grunt got lower, all of that coordination and skill from the nightly completely falling apart as he lost himself in his own pleasure. It was fucking beautiful to watch. And it meant that when he cried out for you, when he reached his own climax, you were there with him even then, without a clue as to how he’s managed to bring you to an orgasm one last final time.

You collapsed there, sheets still damp and skin shiny with sweat. He rooted you to the bed with all of his weight and you stayed just like that. Deeply intertwined. Almost as if you’d become one.

It was everything you had imagined. And then some.

#shawn mendes #Shawn mendes fic #Shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes smut #Shawn mendes x you #Shawn mendes x y/n #Shawn mendes x reader #Shawn mendes x black reader #Shawn mendes x black woman #Shawn mendes one shot #Shawn mendes series #Shawn mendes blurb #Shawn mendes fluff #Shawn mendes angst

[prettyboyporter]

fic preference meme

I was tagged by @kerasines , @electric-177 , and @hoppnhorn <333

Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone because, again, why not.

slow burn or love at first sight

fake dating or secret dating

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance with correspondence

hurt/comfort or amnesia

fantasy au or modern au  (FANTASY by a longshot - not interested in mod AU for harringrove in any capacity lol)

mutual pining or domestic bliss

smut or fluff

canon compliant (missing scenes) or fix-it fic  (MOSTLY canon-compliant)

alternate universe or future fic

one-shot or multi-chapter (either is fine, doesn’t matter to me)

kid fic or roadtrip fic

reincarnation or character death

arranged marriage or accidental marriage 

high school romance or middle aged romance (this is NOT to say that I don’t 100000000% love the idea of middle aged harringrove bc let me tell you, I LOVE IT VERY HARD) 

time travel or isolated together (cabin in a snow storm, desert island)

neighbours or roommates (oo I like both though)

sci-fi au or magic au (hi have you met me -- I wrote an entire harringrove Star Trek AU lol)

bodyswap or genderbend (though I’m really not a big fan of either, I’d read bodyswap over genderbend)

angst or crack (I’m a goddamn wimp anymore when it comes ot reading angst)

apocalyptic or mundane (domestic bliss bb, i love)

Tagging @flippyspoon @missroserose @callmelilyshameless @hartigays @granpappy-winchester @grabmyboner @gideongrace @wrecked-fuse @neonlaynes @neonelectriclady @gothyringwald @hexlikesramennoodles @introvertia

#tag game #fic preference meme

[fancytrinkets]

⁸tagged by @liquidlyrium (thank you, i love these!)

Instructions: Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone because, again, why not. 

slow burn or love at first sight: I like it slow, but usually between characters who really like each other right away.

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers: The ship that wrecked me for years was Purple!Hawke/Varric in Dragon Age II. If there isn't a major close friendship thing going, I probably can't ship it. (Also, I will never think of Ineffable Husbands as enemies, regardless of what they're supposed to be in the eyes of their bosses.)

omg there was only one bed or long-distance with correspondence: A bed is too delicious to ever pass up.

hurt/comfort or amnesia: Any sort of memory loss fic is often too hard on me. (I wrote the softest one possible in part as a way to deal with that.)

fantasy au or modern au: Most of the universes I've shipped in are fantasy already, so a modern, real world AU makes it interesting.

mutual pining or domestic bliss: All I want is bliss. But pining is usually an essential part of the build up for me.

smut or fluff: I am shameless.

canon compliant (missing scenes) or fix-it fic: Both. Depends on the mood.

alternate universe or future fic: I love a good alt universe.

one-shot or multi-chapter: I have a hard time putting a fic down if I get really into it. Today I had time, so I finally crossed a long, multichapter fic off my to read list, but usually I pick oneshots under 20K so I can just power through them in one sitting.

kid fic or roadtrip fic: I don't have any particular fondness for roadtrips, but I can only do kidfic in very particular circumstances. I like it when it's looking after somebody else's child, but I can't do anything involving a pregnancy or babies belonging to characters that I ship. (It's a thing for me that just squicks intensely and it's been that way all my life.)

reincarnation or character death: Oof. Not really into either. If I had to pick one, I'd go with character death, because reincarnation tends to have that memory loss thing going on...

arranged marriage or accidental marriage: Accidental can be a comedic delight.

high school romance or middle aged romance: I'm 39 years old. I identify more closely with that demographic at this point.

time travel or isolated together: Oh yes. Give me stranded and comforting each other and stripping down to keep warm.

neighbours or roommates: Fewer steps required to reach the bed.

sci-fi au or magic au: But I don't know, because almost every universe I've read or written for has magic already.

bodyswap or genderbend: I wasn't really into either, but let's just say I have a recently acquired appreciation for body swap thanks to a pair of immortals who suck at their jobs.

angst or crack: depends on the mood. I love humor, but I tend to like it funny with some sad rather than totally absurdist. Same with angst. I need it to have some levity or it feels too harsh. I have lived through some shit and I just want to laugh and have the gentle sads.

apocalyptic or mundane: I'd honestly rather read them making soup together than having a moment of angst without sufficient comfort in recompense.

(Anyone who reads this can consider themself tagged. I get stressed by the prospect of tagging people, though I legit love being tagged and always welcome it.)

#fic meme

[cruzrogue]

Quantum Leap

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 16 “Listen. No, really listen.”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity

Rating:PG

Warnings/Tags: Future/Past Time travel (Different Earth)

Summary: Felicity leaves with the Monitor but not everything is as it seems she is being used on a quest just like her husband. Instead of entering this quest in 2019 like Oliver Queen she’s entering it in 2040. Somehow different points of entry into alternate earths are needed. Her life has become like the show: Quantum Leap.

Added prompt: Can you imagine this scenario: Goth Felicity in a coffee shop, working on her laptop, while overhearing some girls' conversation at a nearby table. LL is one of them and she is talking about how Ollie would stop cheating on her once they get married. And the other girls around the table agreeing to the crap L is trying to sell them and herself. I can see and hear Felicity's snort from here. Perhaps L needed a reality check, a wake up call from a take no shit Felicity, and perhaps whatever Felicity says would penetrate.

Notes:If you’ve seen Quantum Leap this is loosely based on it because I watched it religiously like so many other sci-fi/action shows back in the day. I’m using what I can recall.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

Quantum Leap on A03

Felicity is not to happy. When she called upon the Monitor to see her husband after twenty years it was time to keep her promise to Oliver. Not land it pivotal points in her history. She doesn’t even understand why she back to her college days. Is she supposed to keep Cooper from doing the stupidest thing ever and getting arrested? Its months till she meets him so what is the purpose of coming to this particular time frame?

She must say though that it’s kind of cool to see herself in Goth attire not like that drugged up version of herself when she hallucinated that wasn’t the best version of her at all.

“I guess if I’m stuck in the past and I’m supposed to change something or another, frickin’ if I’m going to play Sam in all this time world travels, Dr. Sam Beckett needs his Admiral Al Calavicci, so I can Quantum Leap out of this mess.” Unfortunately for her there is no The Observer to be her holographic adviser. At least she is in her own body.

She than mimics the Monitor, “Where I’m taking you there is no return.” Rolling her eyes, “No shit! We just going to Quantum Leap my ass to help balance things out.” She sighs loudly as she needs to add one more dig to all this, “I’m the frickin’ one who doesn’t wear a mask and I’m supposed to what? Diddle dandle the situation like Macgyver? Who does he think I am?” After finishing her little rant, she can almost feel like this whole scene was just witnessed and man if that is true, she just puts up her middle finger to add insult to injury. Not like the Monitor has any sense of humor but sticking it to him makes her feel somewhat better even if its fleeting because she is stuck in the past in whatever Earth number it is.

Heading to her dorm she remembers how much her roommate stunk up the room with the weirdest homeopathic aromas. Wouldn’t be so bad if the girl picked a scent and committed to it. Entering her room, she greets the roommate and heads to grab her laptop. There is this newish coffee shop a few blocks south and well-being anywhere but here sounds like a good idea.

Of course, being a mix of her old self physically and being the older wiser woman, she becomes mentally she feels a little free. All that growing pains and self-doubts are gone. She can sigh a breath of relief in that at least. She could waltz down any particular street and sing ‘I’m off to see the Wizard’ and having people look at her weirdly be like ‘yea what are you looking at? Never seen a girl sing off key before?’ Hence, she decides to do just that as she’s crossing a busy street.

“We're off to see the Wizard The wonderful Wizard of Oz

Because, because, because, Because of the wonderful things he does We're off to see the Wizard The wonderful Wizard of Oz”

 What she doesn’t expect is the city may have some loons because a few people join her unexpectedly. What starts off as just being an idiotic move becomes a full-length sing-along and she’s laughing hysterically but by the time she reaches the coffee shop she back to her non-singing jolly self.

Finding a comfortable place to at least check on everything that matters to her by using the convenience of the internet. At least the programing is the same so surfing is her game as she submerges herself into all that is technology.

All is well for many hours, plenty of coffee and sugar to fill her hearts content. She even picks a salad with the right amounts of protein just because she can hear the little Oliver cherub on her shoulder telling her to eat right. It takes a voice to break her from her concentration. It’s not the voice itself that got her too glance around the cutesy coffee shop. It’s the specific laugh of denial that she’s heard from a certain woman before but just as soon as the alternate version of her made its way into her life.

She wishes she wasn’t privy to hearing they’re conversation but as Laurel starts to talk about Oliver she just can’t walk away. Those three women may now have her undivided attention. It may be a train wreck waiting to happen because sometimes TMI is a real thing. She doesn’t need to know their sex life because that would just be creepy. Not that Laurel didn’t share what she thought Oliver would love from her. It still gives her shivers thinking about those few conversations she couldn’t get out fast enough. Luckily it was a one-time Sara Lance intervention session that helped Felicity never hear another Ollie liked this or that conversation. She made sure to thank Sara very well for that sweet deed.

“Ollie, eventually will find himself and he’ll take his father’s company by the horns. When he does, he’ll have me proudly supporting him. No one supports him like I do.”

“Laurel, aren’t you two on a break now?”

“These breaks are just to rejuvenate our longing. He’ll miss me and I always get what I want. There is this gorgeous pair of earrings I hinted to him that would look so nice with the necklace he gave me last time.”

“He loves to shower you with gifts.”

“Well I did mention to him that showing such gifts is important to show relevance in a relationship status within his peers.”

“Smart, this way he knows no other men will try to steal you away. He’d be crushed.”

“It would only serve him right. Though Ollie would settle down after marriage. It would only take the right woman.”

“Of course.”

Laurel lightly chuckles as she features her hand to her chest in a whimsical manner, “I am the only woman for him. No one knows him as well as I do. He knows his discretions are easily forgiven.”

“A tit-for-tat?”

“If he knows what’s good for him. I’d be the devoting wife, the part I was born to play.”

“But he has cheated on you regularly.”

“Ollie will surely stop cheating once we are married.”

“Well you two would make a lovely pair.”

“Thank you. You are so right. The boy is mine and I don’t even have to try. Though I am planning that once we are both back in Starling, I’ll slip some lame story about some of our friendly couples having moved in together.”

“Smart! Right?”

That gets Felicity to snort. She does it so loud that she gets their attention. Oh no she went from casual observer to now a participate and she doesn’t know what to feel. Maybe they’ll ignore her and continue with the most asinine conversation. Is this the Laurel she never met? Because she is not the wannabe strong girl she tried to project. She really is coming off a petty gold-digging princess.

When the three go back and act like nothing happened it not until the next doozy that has Felicity snort and try to hold her laughter. It’s a if she understands now why she is here. She still mumbles to herself, “This is not something I want to do.”

At least her Goth appearance has them concerned in a way that says she’s is battle ready. She enters their conversation and asks, “What on this green covered earth makes you think a man who cheats on you holds you in any esteem?”

They’re answers so bland and vanilla that Felicity takes some pity on these three fools.

“You are seriously okay with being a second fiddle to your own story?”

Yet again answers so bland Felicity just shakes her head.

“And when he finally tires of you and sends you away with whatever prenup you’ve signed how will that fill your longest nights? Because where I am standing you happily giving up the best years of your life for a  guy who has his secretary without a mere thought about it buy you the personal gifts while you need to call her to set up an appointment to schedule time with him.”

‘It wouldn’t be like that. Ollie is sweet and just the kind that needs those friendly pushes. His mother told me that herself.”

Felicity lets out a dark laugh, “She’s okay with you being a doormat?” and Felicity takes a hard look at the other two woman who are egging her on. Her attention now  solely on Laurel, “Listen. No, really listen.”

“It is the way of the world. You just don’t see it because your…” She waves her hand around Felicity’s Gothic look. “Unexperienced!”

“Is that so? Let me advise you that appearances can change. We also see what we want to. If you see yourself as a sell-by-date nearing expiration and just sell yourself short. You’ll deserve the short-comings because living with ourselves is a lifetime guarantee. The mirror yields for no one.”

“Ah!” Laurel just looks at this girl who budded into her conversation. Some of what she says scares her. She’s heard a similar version from her dad. Her friends are urging her to forget what this dark-dyed hair bimbo is saying. Laurel is the lucky one, she has a guy who’ll will figure his shit and go back with her because she’s been faithful to his lifestyle.

“It’s your call. You can respect yourself or be that obedient doormat to his parents and eventually husband. If he respected you. You wouldn’t need these pep talks by girls who really don’t give two quacks about you.” Felicity has said her peace if Laurel wants to continue on her scheduled way so be it. In the end it’s her choice.

Felicity says her regards and goes back to her spot to pack up its time to see if her roomie has left to her boyfriend’s place for the night. As she starts to head back home Laurel calls out to her. Oh, she forgot she introduced herself by first name only. They talk a bit more but the other girls who were some bad cheerleaders were still in the coffeeshop. Laurel seems to head some advice but to Felicity it is just too early and her words could be forgotten in a heartbeat.

Entering her place, she sees a newspaper left on the cover of her bed she just going to move it to her workstation when she sees the words dance upon the page. It is dated a future year but falling on the same day.

Judge Dinah Laurel Lance-and a last name she has never seen welcomes second daughter.

Felicity places her hand on her mouth in surprise, no… she didn’t help! Did she? Then she continues reading and she can’t believe those few minutes actually helped. Laurel’s first-born daughter is named Felicity, the newspaper saying it was after a girl she met years ago that got her to reevaluate her life choices. WoW!

Just like Sam Beckett she’s whisked away but not by falling asleep and waking up in a new reality. She is somehow guided to her new life. One step closer to Oliver.

  ~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

Can you believe 15 more prompts to go... The month is flying by!

#fictober19 #olicity #felicity smoak #oliver queen #quantum leap #arrow

[neonlaynes]

tagged by @tracy7307 @darlenealdreson @letshargroovetonight @highon85 @wrecked-fuse !! doing some small blurbs under my picks ^o^

Rules: Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone again.

slow burn or love at first sight

give me that lovestruck pining straight from the beginning, babeyyyy

fake dating or secret dating

both of them: yeah so this is totally not going to develop into anything

narrator: so that was a fucking lie.

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

enemies to lovers also is great but Only if they get to know one another and strike a tentative friendship before realizing.......hey wait........we mesh together so well.........heavy handed, stolen looks at one another.........

but also best friends to lovers because of the shared ripe history and knowing that they will generally stick through thin and thick for each other...but add some spice to the mix!!

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance with correspondence

there is something strikingly beautiful in the yearning created from distance, and especially seeing the characters through the lens of say, written words or the comfort of their voice, or even video calling - so maddeningly close yet so far

hurt/comfort or amnesia

bro I Cannot choose..........because for amnesia they can fall in love all over again and for hurt/comfort it’s just a Classic go-to at this point, but my heart cannot take hurt only, it must be swaddled in comfort....

fantasy au or modern au

the idea of royalty/magic/magical creatures set against expansive kingdoms and forests and springs, with adventure and discovery abound and a dash of romance sprinkled? sign me tf up

mutual pining or domestic bliss

another one where I cannot choose!!! how could I. mutual pining makes mutual realization all the more sweeter when they come together, and domestic bliss is like walking on cloud nine simply spending time with one another at home.......definitely warms my heart!!

smut or fluff  

I love both equally but I get a lot more emotional and excited reading tooth-rotting fluff in public let’s just say 

canon compliant or fix-it fic

it’s a feat to skillfully craft around canon imo! and who’s to say that a fix-it fic wouldn’t be canon compliant if the ends are loose enough? ;)

alternate universe or future fic

AUs 100% all the way bc it is so so lovely to read how no matter which universe and whichever way, these two characters will find one another !!

one-shot or multi-chapter

there is a certain thrill in going along for the ride, especially if I catch the updates early on and look forward to updates in my inbox; also I tend to lose my place especially if the one-shot is very long

kid fic or roadtrip fic

oh no.......you’re stuck in a car for an inordinately long time with this other person that you may be a little (a lot) in love with......whatever shall you do............

reincarnation or character death

when character death is written so hauntingly well, I truly appreciate it but I am Weak and would like if it was temporary and/or reversible...

arranged marriage or accidental marriage

how do you........accidentally marry, besides a wild night in vegas? genuinely curious!!

but arranged marriage ties into fantasy AU back up there; rival kingdoms that seek a truce in wedding their children...at first they are not receptive to the idea At All but spending time w one another and sharing each others’ cultures n castles n markets etc.........mayhaps........Romance!

high school romance or middle aged romance

I like reading about high school romance bc it’s not something I have experienced and brings about a sense of nostalgia for simpler times!

time travel or isolated together

snowed in!!! sharing a bed!!!! cuddling under the covers for warmth!!!! if I am interpreting this correctly!!!!

neighbours or roommates

as much as I love roommates, distance makes the heart grow fonder. give me neighbors that are wary of each other first, but one or both of them are struck with unbridled lust and try to find out as much as possible about the other party without being too obvious, taking every chance to visit them, slowly but surely romance blooms............then they move in together.

sci-fi au or magic au

growing up I was never hugely infatuated w sci fi but you know what I /was/ bonkers over? magic. make one or the other do grandiose gestures of magic for the other in an effort to woo them. or person A so devoted they give up part of or even all of their magic to save the other........exquisite.

bodyswap or genderbend

cannot have enough of bodyswap!! admiring the other’s body to their heart’s content...seeing THEMSELF.....telling the other what their own body likes/craves.......;))

angst or crack

cause I love to mchurty

apocalyptic or mundane

is it really so mundane, when I will never tire of reading for the umpteenth time how they came home from a long day of work, ate a hearty dinner together, and shared thoughts in bed, whisper quiet, before drifting off in bliss, legs tangled under the covers? 

a loooot of people have been tagged already so this is my cue to say if you would like to, feel free to say that you’ve been tagged by me and go go go !!!

#I left the blurbs vague but honestly #was thinking of harringrove the wholeeeee time #tag meme #rambles #harringrove #imagine ur OTP

[lambourngb]

Tagged by @ninswhimsy : Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone because, again, why not. 
 1. slow burn or love at first sight - although I like both- like one partner is instantly attracted but thinks the other could never feel the same way and it is a slow burn 2. fake dating or secret dating - as someone 40,000 words into a fake dating WIP yeah. But I do like secret dating that has a break up and both are miserable thank you bellarke fandom 3. enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers - refugee from Harry/Draco here, so yes. 4. oh no there’s only one bed or long distance with correspondence - Captain America made me love this genre. 5. hurt/comfort or amnesia -  love a good ‘I don’t remember breaking up with you and the other person is still in love and goes with it ‘ trope 6. fantasy au or modern au - the 100 gave me a taste for this otherwise a late in fandom acquired trope. But I really love it when it is paired with a Notting Hill trope. 7. mutual pining or domestic bliss - Yes pine away. Not actually unrequited love is the best. 8. smut and fluff - love it, can’t write it. 9. canon compliant (missing scenes) or fix-it fic - as someone in that 40,000 word WIP yes, I am fixing canon haha,,, 10. alternate universe and future fic - Smallville gave me a taste for this. 11. one-shot or multi-chapter - longer the better 12. kid fic or road trip fic - Smallville again made me enjoy that genre with Conner. 13. reincarnation or character death - So I like this but only if the story starts with the death and it is an exploration of grief and a remembrance of a love. Thank you Stargate Atlantis and ‘freedom just another word’ for wrecking me. 14. arranged marriage or accidental marriage - Oh yeah all of this. strangers falling in love with each other and then getting a chance to get out of the marriage but choosing each other in the end?? Sign me up. 15. high school romance or middle-aged romance - dumb kids with intense feelings- I can write it, I was one. 16. time travel or isolated together - oh yes, Star Trek:2009 was so good at feeding that trope. 17. neighbours or roommates - again, the 100 modern AUs, I have read 1000 but they were roommates stories and I was always charmed. I also liked the forced roommate Year 8 stories with Harry Potter. 18. sci-fi au or magic au - Harry Potter all the way, and Harry Potter AUs. 19. body swap or gender-bend - weirdly yes, I enjoyed this with Smallville and Stargate Atlantis. It was one of those if one male character is in love with a straight man, this was their chance genres that was probably a little ID-y but yeah. Guilty pleasure. 20. angst or crack - Angst, I like to cry but I don’t cry easy. I do enjoy the pain. 21. apocalyptic or mundane - I read the Stand at 12 years old and it left a mark, end the world and try to survive together, I love it.

Hmm...tagging who follows who wants to do it (Say I tagged you! )

#meme #fandom chatting #stuff about me

[klayr-de-gall]

fic preference game

I was tagged by @electric-177 thank you 💙💙

copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone because, again, why not.

slow burn or love at first sight

fake dating or secret dating

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

oh no there’s only one bed or long distance with correspondence

hurt/comfort or amnesia

fantasy au or modern au

mutual pining or domestic bliss

smut or fluff (Don’t make me choose please!)

canon compliant (missing scenes) or fix-it fic (But honestly, both is lovely)

alternate universe or future fic(I’m a sucker for AUs. Soulmate AUs, Coffee shop AUs, Collage AUs, Picific Rim!! Wingfics. You name it and I probably love it)

one shot or multi chapter(love a good long fic but often don’t have the time)

kid fic or road trip fic

reincarnation or character death

arranged marriage or accidental marriage

high school romance or middle aged romance

time travel or isolated together (and there os only one bed!)

neighbours or roommates  (and there os only one bed! Again!)

sci-fi au or magic au

body swap or gender bend (Not a fan of either. If I have to choose, probably boy swap)

angst or crack (with a happy ending, please)

apocalyptic or mundane

Okay, I tag @letshargroovetonight, @pleasedontfightmeoverharlos, @letshargroovetonight, @intricatecakes, @gideongrace, @wrecked-fuse @wasting-time-again

#gimme all the FFs! #Rec me all the stuff! #honestly #if you guys think I should read something #show it to meeee #tagging game

[yohanes-magic-circle]

Idol Distractions

(This is also on AO3 if you’d prefer to read it there. Hope you enjoy this light and fluffy YohaMaru one-shot!)

“Wow, there’s so many… I don’t know how you go finishin’ all of these.”

“I haven’t finished them all. Honestly, I haven't even played them all. I used to get through everything, but now I have practice after school, I’m falling behind.”

Hanamaru continued looking through the games on Yoshiko’s shelf, occasionally picking out one that she liked the sound of and looking at the cover art. “Ain’t that a problem?”

“I don’t mind,” Yoshiko replied. “I used to play so much because I didn’t have anything else to do. Back in middle school, I didn’t really… I wasn’t popular.”

“Oh…”

“It’s okay. I mean, sometimes I’ve got people to play with now!”

“Yeah. I won’t be any good, though,” Hanamaru fretted.

“You’ve got as much chance as any mortal when faced with the unholy gaming powers of Yohane!”

Hanamaru briefly turned to stick her tongue out at the fallen angel, before going back to browsing the shelves. “This is weird, zura. When I normally look at someone else’s shelves they’re full of books, and I can get talkin’ about the ones I know. But I don’t really know any games…”

“It doesn’t really matter what you pick – I can show you how to play it. Just go for whatever you like.”

At that point, Hanamaru picked up something that caught her eye – a largely white box, with colourful shapes and lots of English text, and a cute blue animal on the front. “Can we play this one?”

Trust you, Zuramaru, thought Yoshiko. She wasn’t going to refuse her, of course. “Sure, I’ll just have to set up the machine.” Yoshiko went over to the cupboard and came back with a dusty box, from which she pulled out a black machine and a couple of black controllers. She struggled to get it to work with her TV briefly, and was about to give up when she saw the screen fade to black, then turn white.

“Se~ga!” rang out the sound from the TV.

“Wooooow! Mirai zura!”

“It’s not the future, Zuramaru,” laughed Yoshiko. “This thing was my dad’s. It’s older than we are, they stopped making them before we were born.” Still, Yoshiko couldn’t help but smile as she saw the sparkle in Hanamaru’s eyes. She kind of wished she had the same sense of constant wonder at the modern world – to be totally fascinated by things most people found mundane.

“Yoshiko, what were we studyin’ in history class earlier?”

“Ancient Egypt,” replied Yoshiko.

“And how long ago did Ramesses rule?”

“About 3,000 years ago. What’s your point?”

“How old is that games machine?”

“Uh, I think it’s about 30 years old.”

“So people have been around for thousands of years without this, and we’re lucky enough to live in a time when it exists? Mirai, zura.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Yoshiko conceded, considering that perhaps their outlooks on the world were both strange. “So this one’s really easy to play – that little guy is Sonic, and he’s got to run along to the right. If you press any of the buttons, he’ll jump.”

“Okay! So I press this one an’… oh hey, is that a friend?”

“Zuramaru, no–!”

“Aaaah! What happened?”

“Sorry, I really should have explained that better. You ran into a bad guy.”

“So that’s it?” asked Hanamaru, sadly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get another try. Just try to grab those spinning rings you see, they’ll protect you if you get hit. And when you see any of those robots, just jump on top of them.”

“Okay! So I run this way… zura?! Was that an animal in there?”

Hanamaru guided Sonic through the dangers of Green Hill Zone’s first act safely, albeit considerably slower than it could have been done. Yoshiko spent more time watching Maru’s face than the screen – she was so cute when she scrunched her face up in concentration, and even cuter when she panicked at Sonic’s speed through the tunnels.

“Hey, pass me the controller,” said Yoshiko as the second stage began. “I’m gonna show you a secret.” Within seconds, Sonic was smashing through a wall. Hanamaru asked how to do a roll on the ground, and then spent the rest of the stage rolling into every single wall she could find to see if it would break. She kept doing it in the third stage and was thrilled when she finally found one, even if it took a couple of attempts to break all the way through. It was a performance befitting an amateur gamer, but she was having a good time. Finally, she reached the last part of Green Hill Zone.

“Yoshiko! Who’s that?!” asked Hanamaru anxiously, as a man in a flying machine entered the screen with a huge wrecking ball.

“That’s Eggman, he’s the villain who put all the animals in the robots.”

“He’s scarin’ me. You fight him!”

Yoshiko had no choice as the pad was thrust into her hands before she could so much as utter a word of encouragement, she made quick work of the simple boss. “Hey, do you wanna play a game together? I’ve got Sonic 2, it’s just like this but we can both play.”

“Okay! But how do we both be Sonic?”

“No, he’s got a little friend called Tails in this game. We can play together, or race against each other.”

“Oooh, can we race? Let’s race!” Hanamaru practically bounced up and down on the spot with excitement.

“Very well. But know that when you challenge Yohane, your fate is determined before you even press the start button!”

Hanamaru brushed off Yoshiko’s theatrics, instead focusing on the orange fox on screen. “Cute, zura! Can I play as him?”

“You’ll be Tails, yeah. He’s on the bottom bit of the screen. Oh yeah, so you should know, it’s not just finishing first that counts here. If you smash bad guys and TVs, and collect rings, they’ll help you win too.”

“I see…”

The stage started, and Tails started to walk away, only for Sonic to roll right past at a terrifying speed. “Are you cheatin’, Yoshiko?” said Hanamaru, putting on a pout. “Oh yeah, you can do that in this game,” Yoshiko said, only half apologetically. “If you hold down and press jump, you can charge up a spin and shoot off. You’ve gotta go fast, Zuramaru.”

Although Yoshiko wasn’t particularly familiar with the game, years of practice allowed her to tackle the stage with ease. Hanamaru hung back as Yoshiko sped through, knowing that she couldn’t compete in that way – instead she made sure to collect rings and break item boxes, hoping to win on those fronts. Yoshiko saw that she was doing this and tried to break a monitor herself, but everything suddenly went white…

“Z-zura? I won?!”

Yohane’s curse had struck again. The random item in the box was a teleport, placing Hanamaru right next to the finish line and Yoshiko right back near the start of the stage. Suddenly, she had seconds to make it back through the stage and grab as much as she could along the way. But she’d largely ignored rings and items in her earlier haste – could she pull it back?

Nope. There it was, plain as day.

“2P WINS”

“Wow, I’ve never won at one of these before! I thought you said you played these games a lot, Yoshiko?” Hanamaru couldn’t resist poking a little bit of fun at her friend, though in truth she didn’t quite understand how everything had just happened. “Do not be mistaken! Your victory was a matter of divine intervention,” Yoshiko responded, trying to save face. “Shall we play another round?” Hanamaru shook her head. “I think I’m retirin’ while I’m still undefeated. Besides, I was startin’ to wonder if we could get a drink.”

The two girls headed to the kitchen, and Yoshiko began to pick through the cupboard. “Coffee?”

“No thanks, I never got why everyone’s drinkin’ it all the time. It’s so bitter. I’d be happy with a glass of water, please.”

“Fancy, but I’ll push the boat out just for you,” Yoshiko confirmed with a wink, as she started boiling the kettle for her own coffee.

“You know, I’m really glad we could hang out like this.”

“Yeah, I’m having fun too,” said Yoshiko as she put down Hanamaru’s glass.

“No, I mean – what I’m tryin’ to say is that I’m pleased I could visit your home.”

“Oh, and why would that be?”

“Well, the temple… we don’t have video games or nothin’ like that at my place,” said Hanamaru. She let out a big sigh. “You’d be bored if you visited me.”

“Hanamaru, are you kidding me?” Yoshiko asked with unusual gravitas. “Do you really think I mind where he hang out?”

“Zura?”

Yoshiko decided it was time to use one of Hanamaru’s own tricks. “Where did we meet up before we come here today?”

“In the library,” she responded.”

“And how often have we hung out there?”

“I don’t know… I think I’d have lost count even if I was tryin’ to remember.”

“Now,” said Yoshiko with complete confidence, “how many times have you just walked in and found me there?”

“That never happ– oh…”

“Right. It doesn’t matter so much where we are, because what I’m interested in doing is spending time with you. And you’re not so into games, right?”

Hanamaru took a long sip from her glass. “Yeah. I know you love ’em though, so I like to make an effort.”

“Do you want to stop playing for the night, then? I’m happy to just chat like this.”

“No, just… is there an easy game we could try? One with a lotta story, where you don't have to do too much?”

“That’s a movie, Zuramaru,” Yoshiko joked. She was definitely an action gamer at heart, particularly racing games. “But now I think of it, there might be something…”

As the girls headed back to Yoshiko’s room, Yoshiko tried to think of a suitable game to put on. She didn’t have many visual novels. Well, there was that one she'd been playing that Riko had recommended… No! Yoshiko didn’t want to come across as weird. Honestly, Mari had never hidden her thirst, but Riko was a surprise. Who’d have thought that Yohane would be the purest member of Guilty Kiss?

“Whatcha thinkin’, Yoshiko?”

“A-ahhh haha… nothing!” Yoshiko had gotten wrapped up and totally missed the development of that awkward silence. “Hey, I haven’t started this one yet. Shall we try it? It’s a bit sci-fi but it’s more or less the sort of game you wanted.”

“Looks good, zura,” Hanamaru confirmed. “Hey, would you mind if I rested my head on your shoulder while we read it? I’m not used to stayin’ up so late.”

“S-sure,” said Yoshiko, turning her rapidly reddening face towards the wall as the game loaded.

The game began, and the player character started ranting about being a mad scientist chased by some organisation. “Hey, this guy’s funny,” said Hanamaru, giving Yoshiko a little nudge. “He kind of reminds me of you.” Hanamaru meant it affectionately, so it was fortunate that she didn’t turn her head – or else she’d have seen Yoshiko’s accusatory glare. Yohane was nothing like Hououin Kyouma! “The girl’s cute, though.”

“Right? She’s sweet and innocent… Really, I quite like characters like that.”

Hanamaru just gave a contented little “Mm” as the story continued apace. The characters went to get capsule toys on the way to some scientific press conference, then argued with a teenage genius, only to find her dead minutes later. “Hey, Zuramaru, let me know if you get scared, alright?” No response.

Yoshiko looked down to see Hanamaru softly sleeping, still propped up against her for comfort. Clearly, she hadn’t been kidding about not being used to late nights. But they’d had a fun night together, and besides, she looked so cute that Yoshiko could hardly be mad. She turned the console off and switched over to the TV, then carefully shifted to a more comfortable position.

This, she thought to herself, was something she could get used to.

#love live sunshine #yohamaru #yoshimaru #yoshiko tsushima #hanamaru kunikida #zuramaru #yohane #fluff

[ladililn]

What Rogue One taught me about the Jedi, despite no Jedi actually appearing in it

So I initially started writing this for @rogueoneanniversary last year, and then Real Life happened and I disappeared from Tumblr and then Tumblr disappeared from me and now here we are, a full standard year later, and guess who still has (now very belated) Thoughts she wants to share? This girl! Because guess who still hasn’t gotten over this movie? This me! (Not sure whether @celebraterogueone is the correct place for this now?)

The first time I saw Rogue One, I completely missed the fallen colossus in the sands of Jedha. I just thought it was an overhead shot of some weirdly-shaped mountain. The second time, it took a moment for my brain to register and make sense of the image, and then I wondered how I'd ever missed it.

This one object, one blink-and-you-miss-it set piece, tells us so much about Jedha and the "ancient religion" of the Jedi and themes that run through the entire saga and even, I think, characters who aren't even in Rogue One (there's a reason the fallen Jedi statue looks exactly like Old Ben). It immediately calls to mind Shelley’s Ozymandias:

I met a traveller from an antique land 

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone 

Stand in the desert…Near them, on the sand, 

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies[…]

[…]Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

To return for a moment to Admiral Motti’s “ancient religion” line in ANH—I’ve seen people point that out as a plot hole, or at least an early inconsistency, given that the Prequels show the Jedi faith alive and well a mere nineteen years earlier, which doesn’t seem very ancient. I find that charge specious for several reasons—first of all, “ancient” doesn’t mean “dead." I think you could easily and accurately refer to Judaism or Christianity as “ancient religions,” and both of those are alive and well now. The religion began a long, long time ago; thus it is “ancient.” I’d also argue that we hardly needed the Prequels to belie the idea that the Jedi Order was beyond human memory. We know in ANH that Obi-Wan used to be a Jedi Knight, and although Alec Guinness looked (and was) older than Obi-Wan’s actual age, there was nothing in that movie or the other two OT movies to indicate human lifespans differ significantly in the GFFA.

Still, I see the disconnect. On the one hand, we have a not-that-ancient man who was once one of the “guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic.” On the other, you have Luke, who’s never even heard of the Jedi, and Han, who doesn’t believe in the Force. Again, some see these as errors, considering Han was already ten when the Republic fell, meaning the Jedi were still getting up to their incredible and well-documented feats when he should’ve been old enough to be aware and remember.

Explanations for this seeming disconnect can be found across the franchise, and they boil down to two main points: the Jedi’s (relative) lack of reach throughout the galaxy, and Order 66. 

Here’s a fun figure: how many Jedi were there in the galaxy before Order 66? 10,000. Ten fucking thousand. That’s a ridiculously tiny number. A laughably tiny number. A Sci-Fi Writers Have No Sense of Scale number. An entire galaxy, all those planets and star systems, billions and billions (trillions? quadrillions?) of sentient beings, and you could name every single Jedi in a few hours. Put them all in the smallest NFL stadium, and they couldn’t even fill half the seats. 

Sometimes I find the Sci-Fi Writers Have No Sense of Scale-ness of the GFFA frustrating (although IMO the “why is this galaxy filled with the same 10 people?!” complaints fans like to toss around ignores the history of the mythic storytelling tradition Star Wars is very much a part of and how the franchise fits into/plays with those genre conventions, but that’s a rant for another day). But in this case, I fucking love how ridiculous a number 10,000 is. I think it’s perfect. Our view of the Jedi’s relative size and stature in the galaxy is warped by the lens through which we see the galaxy; up until Rogue One, we’re pretty much just hanging out with Jedi. Not only that—in the Prequels and TCW, we’re hanging out with the best of the best, the council members and the freaking Chosen One. They’re the elite among the elite. The 1% of the 1%, only more like the .001% of the .0000000000000001%.

There’s an excerpt from the Rogue One novelization that I think illustrates my point perfectly. This comes from a section of the book that’s meant to be “supplemental data [from the] personal files of Mon Mothma,” a document entitled “Short Notes on the History of the Rebel Alliance Navy” (side note: how much do I love in-universe archival material? a whole fucking lot) (all emphasis mine):

What worked in the Clone Wars cannot work again: the partnership of Jedi Knights and Kaminoan clone armies constituted a peerless weapon that no longer exists. 

Consider a brigade of clone troopers served by a Jedi commander: Such a unit might penetrate a world’s orbital defenses and seize control of the entire planet while taking (and inflicting!) minimal casualties… [W]hat blockade could be thorough enough to keep out a handful of determined star fighters and a single clone drop ship? 

...With the Clone Wars’ end, the destruction of the Jedi Order, and the decommissioning of the Kaminoan cloning facilities, the self-proclaimed Emperor and his military advisers determined that the future of warfare was in large-scale naval weaponry—in a fleet of battleships and battle stations that could atomize any enemy, whether on a planet’s surface or among the stars. They rebuilt a military not for precision strikes but for hammerblows… No potential rebellion could dare eschew infantry altogether, but—lacking the elite support of the Jedi or clones—the cost in lives would be abominable…

From an in-universe perspective, the Jedi are OP as shit. Guys, these are a tiny handful of beings with the ability to move shit with their minds! They can run and leap insane distances at inhuman (yeah, I know that’s an impossible term in the context of a galaxy filled with humans and aliens, but you know what I mean) speeds, they can move in ways other people could never imagine, they have the sort of reflexes that allow Anakin to participate in a sport other members of his species, the most populous in the galaxy by far, physically cannot. They can manipulate the environment around them telekinetically. They can manipulate people telepathically. Their weapons can cut through anything. It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: they are literal space wizards. I know this is all obvious, but think about it from the perspective of your average galactic citizen: here is a microscopically tiny group of people who can literally do magic.

Why are there so few of them? Well, the Force moves in mysterious ways. But also, there don’t really need to be more. Talk about casting an outsized shadow: 10,000 people holding the entire galaxy together. Like Mon Mothma says, one Jedi (and their handful of trusty clone troopers) = an entire fucking battle station in terms of military power. And with the Sith so long in hiding (side note: the Rule of Two makes the Order look positively overpopulated), the Jedi have had no real opponent of their own stature and ability level to contend with for a long, long time. (We see, especially in TCW, how difficult it is for a non-Force user to be made into a credible threat for the Jedi in any circumstances. Those plotlines almost always require characters to be nerfed, either by having to hide their powers (because undercover), being restrained by the Code and not wanting to harm civilians (a Jedi’s primary weapon—though obviously not their only weapon—is hard to make nonlethal, or at least non-maiming), or conveniently forgetting most of their powers.)

Now, it could be argued that there do “need” to be more, because are they actually doing such a great job guarding peace and justice? Are they successfully holding the galaxy together? Even before the Clone Wars, we see in TPM that their power doesn’t extend all the way into the far reaches of the galaxy. Of course, you could also argue that the lawlessness of the Outer Rim has less to do with the Jedi’s inability, in terms of sheer forcible (sorry) power, to do anything about it, and more to do with the politics of the Republic, and you could be right. But that’s part of the point. The Jedi are enforcers of peace, not rulers. They’re not supposed to be making decisions on galactic policy. (That “supposed to” is key, but again: a story for another day.)

So my point is: sure, on Coruscant in the year 20 BBY, you’re not going to have anyone blinking and saying “Jedi who?” It’s a Core World—the Core World—and most of the characters we’re familiar with in the Prequel Era are by necessity among the upper echelons of galactic society, or at least moving in circles that bring them into contact with the upper echelons. High-ranking politicians, rulers of various worlds, heads of planetary militia—people who have reason to be interacting with the Jedi. (Even the criminals they interact with are top-level, crime bosses and legendary bounty hunters. You’re not going to call a Jedi to arrest a petty thief.)

99.999% of the galaxy’s citizens have never seen a Jedi in person. (We’re going to leave beside the issue of the media in the GFFA, because that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of, uh, mynocks?) The farther you get from Coruscant, the farther removed you are from galactic high society, the less you probably know about the Jedi. Han, growing up on the streets of Corellia, has no reason to be an expert on Jedi. I’m sure he’s heard rumors, but he is perfectly justified in being a skeptic, particularly once the Jedi disappear seemingly easily.

Which brings us to the Jedi Purge. Here’s the thing: Order 66 wasn’t just about literally killing all the Jedi and burning their Temple down. It was a planned cultural genocide as well. A revision of history. We all know the line from 1984: “Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.” Palpatine destroyed the memory of the Jedi as surely as he destroyed the Jedi themselves. We’ve met, in various canon sources, history professors who lost their jobs because any mention, scholarly or otherwise, of the Jedi Order had become verboten. We’ve seen kids studying for their galactic history class in which one of the questions concerns Mace Windu, leader of a “criminal gang that interfered with a legal execution on Geonosis and sparked the Clone Wars.” Talk about revisionist: that goes against everything Palpatine himself said and did during the Clone Wars, a not-insignificant timespan of at least three years of his own personal history he has to revise, but in his role as Emperor, he can pull that off. This is what totalitarian governments do. We already see it begin in RotS, when Palps tells the Senate all about the Jedi Order’s attempt at a coup. And it’s effective! Five years on, Tarkin himself says the Jedi already feel like a distant memory.

And of course it’s fairly ludicrous (though not, I suppose, impossible) to assume that the statue on Jedha fell and was partially buried in sand within the last 19 years. But that’s one of the things I love most about Star Wars, something it’s particularly famous for: its Used Future aesthetic, the continued reminders that this is a galaxy with a history, one as complex and mysterious and tangled in its own legends as our own. That fallen colossus is one of many clues throughout canon that the Old Republic, the Jedi Order, belief in the Force—all were in decline long before the events of the Prequel Era.

Similarly, it’s clear that Jedha itself, once among the most holy sites in the galaxy, was also only a shadow of its former glory long before it got wiped off the map entirely. From Wookieepedia (again, emphasis mine):

As more of the galaxy was mapped, more direct hyperspace routes were discovered. These new passages made the old, winding routes, such as those connecting with Jedha, obsolete. The once-popular Jedha became an antiquated curiosity rather than a relevant destination, a location for those who desired spiritual guidance, a deeper purpose, or to simply exile themselves from the larger galaxy.

It’s typical Imperial excess to take the idea of Jedha’s long-buried secrets lost to the sands of time and literalize it by blowing the damn thing up. Horace Smith’s Ozymandias is less famous, but as (if not more) relevant to our discussion (“The City’s gone,” anyone?), and I leave you with its last stanza:

We wonder,—and some Hunter may express

Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness

Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace,

He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess

What powerful but unrecorded race

Once dwelt in that annihilated place.

#rogue one #star wars #rogue one: a star wars story #jedha #star wars meta #jyn erso #bodhi rook #cassian andor #chirrut imwe #baze malbus #guardians of the whills #jedi #jedi order #jedi meta #star wars planets #ms #my thoughts #sw #eta: oops i meant to do a cut but instead i just did a line #weirdly this doesn't look as long on my dash as i thought it would so i guess i'll just leave it..............uncut

[jacobtmcelroy-blog]

Marvel Films Ranked (1998 to 2016)

Comic book films. In my opinion, they are their own genre now. Why is this? Well, look how many are coming out in a year nowadays. A good portion of the summer blockbuster season belongs to the superhero genre alone. Over the past twenty years, there’s been a superfluous amount of Marvel films. Many of them meh, some of them good, and others flat out atrocious. So, I have compiled a list of my personal rankings on the matter. Let’s knock this out.

Also, I will be discussing spoilers at a few points, so beware.

THE ATROCIOUS TIER

43. Man-Thing (2005)

Want to know how bad Man-Thing is? The entire test audience walked out of the theater before the film was even done playing. True story. Because of this, the film was relegated to become a Sci-fi original movie instead of being released in theaters. Yikes. At least one of the film’s stars, Rachael Taylor, would go on to do much greater things in the Jessica Jones Netflix series as Trish Walker.

42. Hulk (2003)

No, that’s not an early development picture of Shrek. Ang Lee’s Hulk has a cult following who love the psychological approach he took to the film. That is cool and their opinion. However, this film harms me psychologically. From the lack of smashing things (It’s a Hulk film!), to the ludicrous plot, to the zombie dog fights, and the part where the Hulk flew on a plane to space, 2003′s Hulk is a boring mess that is not even fun for laughs.

41. Fantastic Four (2015)

What do you get when you combine a group of young, talented actors and a somewhat promising director with a studio that is desperately trying to hold the rights to their non-X-Men Marvel properties? A really, really bad movie is what. Fan4stic, as many call it, is an unorganized train wreck from the production issues down to the person who decided to film every scene in the dark The mid-2000′s films look great compared to this mess.

40. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

This movie did not even need to be a thing honestly. We got enough backstory of Wolverine in X2, and he is the main character in the first three films. Anyways, Origins is a flat out mess. Memory wiping bullets? Special effects worse than the first X-Men? (seriously look how bad his claws look) The Merc with a mouth missing his mouth?! This is just a bad movie. No wonder there were not any other Origins films like originally planned.

39. Blade: Trinity (2014)

Before being booked into a jail cell for tax evasion, Wesley Snipes and his new allies imprison the unlucky viewers of this film into a sentence of 113 minutes of pure boredom. Blade: Trinity is dull, forgettable, and takes away most of the fun the first two films had (even with Dracula as a villain!) It is hard to believe director David S. Goyer, writer of the Dark Knight Trilogy, directed this blood-reduced suckfest.

Still Pretty Bad Tier

38. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Ghost Rider and the sort of sequel that nobody asked for should be the real title. While Nicolas Cage gives a better, and much loonier performance here, the storytelling and execution really came up short here. Spirit of Vengeance cannot decide what it wants to be. It goes from dark and serious, zany and erratic, to mid-2000′s Nicolas Cage mode at a dizzying and confusing rate. 

37.  Elektra (2005)

In all honesty, Jennifer Garner isn’t a bad Elektra. Not as good as Elodie Yung’s recent version, but Garner does the best she can with the awful script. The film takes itself WAY too seriously and does not have any sort of fun. Some of the plot twists are ludicrous too. The biggest flaw of the film though is the fact it focuses more on some random girl and her dad almost more than Elektra herself.

36. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

The second modern stab at Fantastic Four was unfortunately worse than the first. While I still actually like the casting, (especially Michael Chiklis as The Thing) no one can save the film from the deranged screenwriters who turned Galactus into a giant hungry cloud. The plot and execution also leaves some to be desired. At least it is not as frustrating as the Silver Surfer NES game.

35. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

If we are ranking the worst adaptations of actual comic book story lines, then X3 would probably take the top prize. Brian Singer’s departure from this film for the snorefest better known as Superman Returns tanked both films at the same time. Here, Magneto flat out looked like an idiot after his infinitely stupid plan back-fired. Cyclops died after five minutes of screen time and somehow did as much as he did in the other films. Mystique lost her abilities... for some plot reason. Angel did pretty much nothing after being the focus character in the opening tease. X3 is just a massive disappointment. 

Tier of Mediocrity

34. Ghost Rider (2007)

How do you make a badass anti-hero a lot less cool? Give him the most generic origin story in history. Ghost Rider is honestly not an awful film, it just feels like a tired retread of every other superhero origin story. Oh, but that is not the only problem with the film. Some of the humor is really oddly timed and does not hit a lot. The villain is mostly unmemorable. Sam Elliott is really good when he is on screen, but the most the writers let him do is ride a firey horse in a straight line.

33. Spider-man 3 (2007)

I am actually surprised I ranked this as high as I did. Spider-man 3 is one of my biggest movie disappointments in history. The plot is over-bloated with WAY too many characters (3 villains?!) and subplots, Uncle Ben’s death is downgraded to an accident, and every scene Emo, Cool Peter Parker is in makes my facepalm and cringe at the same time. Yeah, that piano/bar scene is absolutely painful. Venom is absolutely wasted too. If there are so many problems, why is this film not lower? There are good scenes hidden inside this waste dump of a film. The scene in the tower where Peter rips off the symbiote is good. Another is the scene after the Sandman gains his abilities and struggles to pick up the locket. The first fight with Sandman is pretty good too. Overall, Spidey 3 is a disappointing, bloated mess.

32. Fantastic Four (2005)

The Mediocre Four return! The first modern Fantastic Four movie is complicated by a lame plot where the heroes are trying to get rid of their powers rather than use them. Also, the mis-fired plot is not executed very well as the scenes feel like somewhat connected moments patched together into a finished project at times. Although, not all is bad here. While the scenes feel all over the place at times, some of them are pretty fun. I personally like the entire cast, particularly Chris Evans’ Human Torch and Michael Chiklis’ The Thing. 

31. Thor: The Dark World (2013)

This film is so forgettable and mediocre I almost forgot it existed. Not much else to say. Time to move on.

30. Iron Man 3 (2013)

All I really need to ask here, is why whose brilliant idea was it to turn the Mandarin into... whatever on earth he is in the finished product?! Late 2000′s M. Night Shyamalan? Seriously. It is kind of like when they were adapting the Harry Potter movies, if the director decided to turn Voldemort into a comic relief villain with Wormtail as the true villain of the franchise. Ugh. Besides that major error, I guess there is some fun action scenes in the film and Robert Downey Jr. is as good as always.

29. DareDevil (2003)

DareDevil is my favorite Marvel hero, so this film may be higher than a lot of other people put it. The casting of this film is pretty good as I think Ben Afleck’s Matt Murdock actually is pretty good. His DareDevil is decent in comparison.Jennifer Garner’s Elektra lacks some of the edge of the original character,but she’s not bad either. The problems here begin with execution. The scenes, like Fantastic Four, feel patched together and do not flow well at several points making the film feel a bit all over the place. It almost feels like an entire story line is missing. Hmm.....

Hey, These Are Decent Tier

28. X-Men Apocalypse (2016)

Instead of making Magneto looking like a dumbass, 2016′s X-Men film forces that label on Professor X. However, the film’s main problem is that the whole world takeover plot is really forgettable. Mixed in with all of the mediocrity are some good performances and memorable scenes. A couple of these include another ingenious Quicksilver rescue and when Magneto destroys Auschwitz. Otherwise, this X-Men film feels like eating Days of Future Past two week old leftovers.

27. Iron Man 2 (2010)

Iron Man 2: Filler Man. Seriously, Iron Man 2 almost feels like an anime filler episode. At the end of the film, the characters and the plot do not advance at all from where they were at the beginning of the film in the Expanded Universe. Mickey Rourke’s meh Whiplash did not really help much. However, Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, and newly added Don Cheadle are all really good here. Additionally, Sam Rockwell gives a really fun performance as Justin Hammer, making him one of the better pseudo-villains of the MCU.

26. The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

First off, The Amazing Spider-man is definitely not a bad film. Actually it is a pretty decent film. The film’s downfall is it feels like a complete retread of the 2002 film, and even the most talented cast cannot save that. I actually laughed last time I heard how hard Uncle Ben tried to rephrase, “With great power comes great responsibility.”. The Lizard is a decent villain, but he’s nowhere near as good as either villain from the first two Raimi films. Basically the TASM is a lower quality version of a movie that already exists. The lone big improvement I can think of is the love story and Garfield’s Spider-man.

25. Thor (2011)

Chris Hemsworth was the perfect cast as Thor, as was Tom Hiddleston as Loki. The scenes in Thor in which the two interacted were a blast to watch. However, everything else was just decent. There were some comical scenes, such as when Thor screams “Another!” and breaks the glass on the floor, but everything else in the real world did not really leave a lasting impact on me. Not a bad film, but not near Marvel’s best effort.

24. Punisher: War Zone (2008)

Some of you reading this are probably shaking your heads in disgust or absolute confusion. How on earth did this commercial and critical failure rank this high on my list? War Zone is probably one of the most entertaining films I have ever seen in the ridiculous, over-the-top action movie genre. Ray Stevenson is a good Punisher. More importantly, Dominic West’s Jigsaw along with Doug Hutchison’s Loony Bin Jim are so over the top and cartoony that they make Colin Farrell’s Bullseye look down to earth. Everything is so overly violent, completely stupid, and laughable in this film that it entertains every time I re-watch it. That is why War Zone ranks this high.

23. The Amazing Spider-man 2 (2014)

Similarly to the last entry, some may question the higher rank of TASM 2 and the fact it is higher ranked than its generally better received predecessor. TASM 2 definitely has a web of problems, but not all is bad. The chemistry of Garfield’s Peter Parker and Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy is really, really believable and well done. While many others did not, I actually liked  Dane Dehaan’s Harry Osbourne due to his different approach to the character. Despite these positives, tone uneveness (Jamie Foxx’s Electro for instance) and a general lack of direction at times really brings TASM down from the better film it could have been. 

22. Doctor Strange (2016)

Doctor Strange is really uniquet. As one may expect of an actor of his caliber, Bennedict Cumberbatch is a really nice fit as the title character. Also, the soundtrack kicks some major ass. However, the villains of the film are really mediocre and some of the most forgettable in the MCU, which is saying a lot. A good film, but just midpack in a solid library.

21. Blade (1998)

The first of the modern Marvel films still holds up pretty well today. Well, for the most part. As I have stated before in another list, Blade’s opening scene is one of my personable favorites to any film. It is scary, gross, and sets the perfect tone for the rest of the film. Wesley Snipes was a perfect casting choice as Blade, and the rest of the casting was pretty solid as well. However, a mediocre ending, some laughably bad dialogue, and some silly concepts (vampires wearing sunscreen?!) hold Blade back form being as good as its sequel. 

We’re Starting to Get  Pretty Good Films Tier

20. The Punisher (2004)

I feel as if Thomas Jane’s Punisher movie is one of the more underrated gems in Marvel’s cinematic history. Jane had a really nice performance as the title hero as he captures both the vengeful vigilante and tragic hero complex of the comic book character. Many of the action scenes are tight, and the film contains several memorable scenes. (The ripping out piercings scene, for one) However, I feel like the film is almost holding back and playing it safe at points. Solid film, but definitely could have been one step greater.

19. The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Age of Ultron is a film that almost lands with a thud, sort of like the city that fell from the sky. The Avengers sequel is a good film, but feels underwhelming. The great James Spader is never given enough to do as Ultron, the plot is almost too over the top, and it feels underwhelming compared to Cap 2, which came out a year prior. However, the cast chemistry makes the film fun to watch as you can see they are having a great time making it. All of the action scenes are well done as well. Also, giving Hawkeye a personality was nice touch. 

18. Blade 2 (2002)

Blade’s second adventure on the big screen took the impressive fight scenes from the first film and gave it a better story to go along with it. Adding Guilermo Del Toro to the mix helped out the cause too. While the film is far from perfect due to some questionable plot twists, Blade 2 is an enjoyable in a unique way.

17. The Wolverine (2013)

The Wolverine’s story is pretty forgettable, but wow does it have some of the best action set pieces of the X-Men franchise. The setting is super cool, maybe it is because of my Japanese culture bias, but I love the atmosphere and locations in this one. Not much else to say. An entertaining watch even if other X-Men films are better than it. It is a Hell of a lot better than Origins at least. *shudders*

16. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Wow, 2008 was a fantastic year for superhero movies. DC released The Dark Knight and Marvel had Iron Man. The Incredible Hulk got lost in the mix a bit, but the reboot of Bruce Banner’s rage monster was another thoroughly entertaining superhero film. The movie gets a little generic near the end with its giant monster CGI fight, but 2008′s Hulk is a pretty nice picture. This Hulk ALMOST makes me forget about Ang Lee’s atrocity.

15.  X2: X-Men United (2003)

To many fans of the superhero genre, X2′s placement on this list may seem pretty low. Honestly, I have always felt that X2 was a bit overrated. However, that does not mean that X2 is not a great film. The story-telling is mostly tight, the characters’ motivations are realistic for the most part, and it utilizes flashbacks well. (a rare occasion) One of my grievances from the first film still remains in the sequel: Cyclops does absolutely nothing. Oh well, he gets killed in five minutes in the X3 anyway.

Exceptional Film-making Tier

14. DareDevil: Director’s Cut (2004)

Okay, now this could be borderline cheating. However, the director’s cut version of DareDevil is so much better than the theatrical cut that I had to put it on this list. The box for the Director’s Cut says the version adds a “Devilish new subplot”. I think it should just say it adds a plotline that connects everything and makes the film make a lot more sense. Matt doesn’t stay on the rooftop with Elektra, The Kingpin murders an employee of his to show how scary he can be, and the court plot receives nice depth. Coolio is actually pretty good in his role in this cut as well. This version still does not fix the asinine decision of not killing The Kingpin or erase the odd playground fight scene, but give this one a watch if you have not seen it.

13. X-Men: First Class (2011)

First Class stopped the bleeding from the last two awful X-Men films. Most importantly, it brought us Michael Fassbender’s fantastic version of Magneto. (James McAvoy’s solid Prof. X as well) The scene where Magneto forces the coin through his mother’s killer’s head is one of the best in the X-Men franchise, at least in my opinion. While First Class is a solid film, it still feels like a prologue for something to come. Also, it was “outclassed” by its sequel...

12. Ant-man (2015)

This high of a position may surprise people for Ant-man, but Ant-man is just too fun not to enjoy. Paul Rudd was a perfect cast for the title hero possessing the necessary humor and right amount of emotion to carry the role. The rest of the supporting cast of heroes is also really well cast anchored by a sterling performance by Michael Douglas. However, much like many other MCU films, the villain is just pretty meh. Just an evil bald guy with a similar suit to Ant-man.... sound similar to Iron Man at all?

11. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

If one stops and thinks about it, Cap: The First Avengers plot is pretty average and extremely safe plotwise, but the Captain’s likability factor is so high that it carries the movie’s plot through a lot of its,,, shortfalls in originality. The First Avenger takes an old-fashioned film and gives it the perfect pinch of new age style to make it about a perfect blend. Evans’ Steve Rodgers and Hayley Atwell’s Peggy Carter also have top tier on screen chemistry, which makes the main couple of characters even more likable.

10. X-Men (2000)

With help from 2002′s Spider-man, X-Men was the major catalyst that kicked off the modern superhero era of film. Guess what? X-Men stands up pretty well today. There is good action, fun characterization, and a couple decent twists. Guess what else though? Cyclops does not do anything here either besides be an asshole to Logan. The directors really neglected his character for some reason.

CLASSSICS Tier

9. X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

After First Class dragged the X-Men films out of the pits of Hell, Days of Future Past took the franchise even deeper into its past’s glory. Get it? Past? Anyways, much of the stellar cast from the prior film return along with the best members of the original trilogy films.The end result is a film that combined the best of both time periods. Oh, and Quicksilver’s few minutes of screen time were amazing. Not much to knock here.

8. The Avengers (2012)

Thought this would be number one didn’t you? Well, some annoying plot holes and hype caused it to fall a little bit here. Those problems withstanding, The Avengers is terrific film that most comic book enthusiasts hoped for since childhood. All of the heroes finally group up and take on one of the worst baddies of all. In this case, it was Loki, by far the MCU’s best villain. Containing excellent scenes, such as the Hulk tossing Loki around in the room , and clever dialogue, The Avengers is just a pure fun film.

7. Spider-man (2002)

For a long time, this was my favorite film. Period. Nowadays, I still really love the film that kicked off my love for Marvel superheroes. Sam Raimi seems like an odd fit based on his past work looking back now, but it ended up being a solid match. To this day, Spidey is one of the better superhero origins story due to its mix of heart, humor, and fun. The Green Goblin is still one of the better Marvel movie villains. (even though I still do not understand why exactly Gobby hates Spidey so much after the halfway point of the film after accomplishing his original goal...). Even without the webshooters, Spider-man is a top tier Marvel film to this day.

 6. Captain America: Civil War (2016)

After massive lead up and hype of one Marvel’s most famous story lines, Civil War delivered on most fronts. The main flaw was the plot relies on conveniences. While the villain’s plan is cool and different, it would NEVER have worked in retrospect. Besides over-critiquing, Civil War was pretty much all I wanted it to be: a battle royale between two balanced teams. (although Iron Man definitely had a strength advantage...) The airport scene, the Black Panther street chase, and the final fight are all some of the best in the MCU. Good job not letting us down here Marvel.

5. Guardians of Galaxy (2014)

The men and women behind the scenes at the MCU are geniuses. They took an almost unknown property and made it into a cultural phenomenon. GoG was a huge sleeper hit for Marvel and myself, admittedly. I did not really think much of it during the trailer phase, but after seeing the finished product, I was beyond pleased. Guardians of the Galaxy is high octane from beginning to end and is a blast to watch. I am eagerly awaiting to see the continuing adventures of Star Lord and crew this next week.

4. Deadpool (2016)

I dreaded a Deadpool movie being made. I read and read the comics during my high school years and fell in love with the character. After seeing the Ryan Reynold Origins version of the character, I was furious. Why would you sew his mouth shut?! Anyways, I was luckily wrong in my doomsday theories for a Deadpool film. In fact, it is exactly the type of Deadpool film I wanted. It had hilarious jokes and scenes, fourth wall-breaking, ultra-violence, and Ryan Reynolds’ absolutely nailed the character. Not much more I can say that has not been said.  

3. Iron Man (2008)

I feel sorry for this film. It was completely overshadowed by The Dark Knight that came out a month later. What a lot of people forgot was that Iron Man was a fantastic film that broke the chain of mediocrity from Marvel the past few years before. Robert Downey Jr. revived his career even further by playing a character he was born to play. However, I believe the best part of the film was the way it combined realism of the current conflicts in the Middle East to the fantastical technology of Tony Stark. Obadiah Stone was a decent villain, even if he is sort of forgettable now because most MCU villains have been clones of his. Despite that, Iron Man is stellar.

2. Spider-man 2 (2004)

For a long time, up until The Dark Knight’s release to be more specific, Spider-man 2 was the best superhero film of all time. (in my opinion at least) However, one surpassed it in Marvel land a few years back. Spider-man 2 has all you want in a Spider-man movie. A terrific anti-villain, a well-written inner main character conflict where he has to choose between two paths, and a plot that makes sense almost the entire way through. The train scene and the reveal of the lair behind the mirror are still two of my favorite Marvel scenes to this date. Once again, not much more I can say. This movie still rocks.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

A surprising choice to some people I bet to some people, The Winter Soldier is an almost perfect superhero film. Cap’s sequel is a fantastic film in about three genres I can think of, including spy thriller. Kind of reminds of a 60′s Bond film with A LOT better special effects. The plot of the film is modern and well thought up and avoids the common problem of being trendy with current event plot ideas. That is a bigger feat than most films of the kind can say. Besides the modern, appropriate and politically astute plot, the best parts of this film are the fight scenes. In the first Cap, he didn’t get to show off his fighting skills very much. But here, he kicks some major ass. Oh, and Black Widow does too, in what I believe to be her best movie as well. Add in Falcon for a flatout kickass trio. Overall, Cap 2 is fantastic from beginning to end and never lets up. Way to to go Marvel.

#marvel #mcu

[cyndisision]

Sucker for Punishment

I originally published this post on my old, long-running blog, immediately after watching the finale of Star Trek: Enterprise, the single episode of any show that has caused me the most rage. In my epic Trek re-watch, I’ve just reached that point again, and my feelings are so exactly the same that I thought it worth re-publishing.

Original publication date: May 13, 2005. Lots of spoilers for a show that wrapped 15 years ago and almost nobody liked anyway.

I wipe a tear from my eye as I watch Enterprise's warp trail disappear into the distance. It's been a long road; a very bumpy, windy road, one that went up and down hills, and that got sidetracked very frequently into country I hadn't been intending to visit. Some of the scenery was very beautiful, but sometimes we drove off into a ditch and had to spend a few episodes digging ourselves out. The last episode, "These Are The Voyages", would have us believe that we drove that piece of junk into the ground, but to me it kind of feels more like it got stolen and the cops just had the wreck towed back to me.

This show, more than any other I've ever watched, has been a mixed bag of good, bad and ugly. Once or twice it nearly reached the giddy heights of greatness, but let's face it, I would never have stuck it out through those first two seasons if it hadn't had "Star Trek" in the title. Oh, hang on - back then, it didn't have "Star Trek" in the title. For some reason, I nevertheless felt compelled to watch it, convinced that it would do better next time. Slowly, my tenacity began to receive its reward. Or possibly, my defences were worn down and I lowered my standards. Whichever.

The character that started out annoying me the most, Trip, became the character I liked best, partly because of his character's growth over the course of the series, but mostly because I think that Connor Trinneer is the best actor of all the regular cast. My liking of the character seemed to coincide with the time when the stupid love triangle storyline between Trip, Archer and T'Pol settled down and it started looking like Trip and T'Pol might start something at least somewhat meaningful. I think that the chemistry between the two characters gave me a boost that was enough to keep me watching the show. There were a couple of relapses into the possible T'Pol/Archer storyline, which pissed me off, not because I'm that kind of rabid shipper, but more because it felt as though the writers were hedging their bets. They'd written a real winner here; the actors playing the two Ts were at their respective best in the scenes they had together, and the show's high points often came as a result of their developing relationship. Why couldn't they just stick with what they'd written and let it keep working for them? (For the record, that this relationship worked had nothing to do with the writing and everything to do with the acting.)

Most Star Trek fans like the franchise at least in part because of its future vision, which, while somewhat naive (and certainly human-centric, for all its professions to the contrary), is heartening and inspiring to the average sci-fi dork. Well, to this average sci-fi dork; I can't claim to speak for anyone else, but I've often read similar exclamations from the keyboards of other Trek fans. There's often been a message, usually topical and relevant, sometimes heavy-handed, but ultimately positive. In the last two seasons of Enterprise, I began to see this trait coming out more and more. I threw caution to the wind and decided that it had become a Decent Show, that it was no longer my guilty pleasure but just another show I watched.

Every time, every single time I started to feel good about my show, it managed to do something stupid to screw it up. This last season has been a rollercoaster ride. Mid-season, they had a run of good episodes, including a two-parter in the vein of traditional Trek and starring my real favourite character (the recurring Andorian Shran, played by the great Jeffrey Combs), full of continuity porn that I would have loved even more if [Begin Spoiler for my dirty secret] I'd ever seen the Original Series episodes to which they were referring.[End Spoiler]

Then there was a hiatus lasting about two months, during which I got myself all hyped up for the show's return. Even worse, it was during this hiatus that they announced the cancellation, so I was determined to revel in the last few episodes and get as much out of them as I could. Imagine my horror when the first episode back was the worst, most offensive hour of television I'd ever sat through. Seriously, just obnoxiously bad, with slave-girl/pheremone action and the men all at the mercy of their hormones. They followed up that killer episode with a two-parter set in the Mirror Universe and having no bearing on the real Trek universe, except to clear up the mystery of a missing ship that even the most rabid continuity fans can't have given two hoots about. Yeah, the Mirror Universe is fun, and it did have continuity with other series' Mirror Universe episodes, but why did we have to waste two hours on this with only five left to go? I wanted to know what was happening to My Real Crew! (Maybe this is a nod to the way in which they similarly wasted an episode near the end of DS9's run, but in that case it was winding down after seven seasons, not cut off during the fourth with many threads left untied. Oh, I have my issues with the way that series was wrapped up, but that's another post.)

Just when I was getting frustrated again, they went back to the roots of Trek with an episode that set up the founding of the Federation, and showcased exactly how far the crew had come in accepting alien races, compared to a xenophobic separatist group back on Earth. The very last scene in that episode was extremely touching, and hinted at Trip/T'Pol's future, as a microcosm of human/Vulcan relations. It was very, very nice, and could have made a fitting, if sad, end to the series.

Here's where my real rant begins. After that wonderful TV moment I was all hyped up to watch the finale, which they were airing right after. And if you think I get hyped up about things, you should have seen Manuel. I think he bounced his little beans off! My joy was not to last.

How shall I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

Let's waste the last hour of Enterprise telling a story about The Next Generation characters, shall we? Oh, and while we're at it, let's make the story and interactions based on those characters fall completely flat. The effect of telling the story through a holodeck reenactment is that we will never know whether the events were portrayed accurately or through a veil of historical recreation, particularly the intimate moments between characters. For long-time fans, part of the purpose of a series finale is to provide catharsis, or continuation, of character relationships, or to hint at their future, or something, just something true to those relationships. The best interactions were between Trip and Riker, one being a hologrammatic recreation, and the other only acting the part of the person the first thought he was talking to. AAAAAAAGH!

This episode was set six years ahead of the previous episode, and during a lot of it the characters were waxing nostalgic about events we had not been privy to. Trip and T'Pol's relationship had at some point been cut off, and there was no exploration of the reasons for that. After the final moments of the previous episode, this was a cop-out.

Here's the most sore point: Ohmygod, they killed Trip! Those bastards! And they didn't just kill him, either; they went to extreme lengths to put him in a stupid situation in which he could overreact like a first-year Starfleet Academy cadet and go into full-on pointless-self-sacrifice mode. He died 'saving' the captain from a random ambush about one four-millionth as dangerous as the situations they've got themselves into on a routine basis since the start of the show.

In the last scene set in Enterprise time, T'Pol and Archer, who had shared about ten seconds of grieving for their fallen comrade, had a poignant hug. Back to hedging our bets again

The final shot of the show was not of any of the Enterprise characters, but of Riker and Troi walking out of the holodeck.

Even in the bloody final sodding montage of the three Enterprises with their respective captains' voice-overs, Picard got more time than Archer! Writers, listen up: if people don't care about your stupid show, it's too late to lure them in now with the cheap gimmick of leaning on a more popular series. Just give the fans what they need, and stop playing this stupid fucking ratings game.

In the end, I'm left with a bitter taste in my mouth, as though I've been a puppet for four years, jerking around on a string. Sometimes it's been fun, sometimes it's been worth it, but mostly it's just been a series of frustrations. I'm going into my little dork bubble and pretending that "Terra Prime" was the last episode of the series. And then I'm going to write a fanfic spin-off starring Shran.

#Star Trek rants #I liked Enterprise even on my third time through #But wow is that finale frustrating

[vincentbuckles]

Weekend reading: I shopped til I dropped

What caught my eye this week.

I would have had this post to you much earlier on Friday, but for consumerism. You see I got totally distracted trying to get the best out of my new Sage Barista Express:

Real life: Messy.

Having done a barista training course a few years ago, I improbably fancied myself as pretty hot stuff with a coffee grinder.

I’ve enjoyed flat whites knocked out by a friend on this well-reviewed model many times, too.

But it turns out I didn’t know my friend as well as I thought I did!

I’ve discovered he’s great at making coffee – but perhaps more shockingly that he’s modest about it. (What other talents does he boast, I now wonder? Or rather does he not boast?)

Seriously, I know it takes a while to get the hang of DIY espressos on new kit, so I’m not too perturbed. It’s only eaten a couple of hours so far, and that includes washing the bits and bobs, figuring out how it fitted together, and collecting beans I spilled on the floor.

No, the other reason why I fell behind was because as soon this new toy finally arrived from Amazon, I went out for a three-hour hike around West London.

Did you sign for it, sir?

You see I’ve been in all week waiting for deliveries – and it drives me crazy.

I’m on edge all-day, until the deliveries do (or don’t) arrive.

A laid-back friend who doesn’t understand my hair-trigger control freak personality asked me what the big deal was.

“Imagine waiting all day to be slapped in the face,” I said. “You don’t know when it’s coming, but you will be slapped in the face. That’s me waiting for the door buzzer.”

It’s not even that I can’t do the social interaction bit. It’s worse: I usually talk the delivery person’s ear off. (A common failing among those of us who work from home.)

Rather it’s the waiting and uncertainty that kills me – and the unexpected and unscheduled state change.

Years before the Millennials I kept my mobile on silent always, for the same reason.

A totally unexpected phone call to my mobile feels like being tapped on the shoulder by a suddenly apparating supernatural nosy neighbour. I hate it.

Now at this point you’re either nodding along (a very few of you) or you’re aghast with incomprehension. Which is fine.

(I’ve said before when explaining why I invest actively and nearly everyone reading shouldn’t that I’m wired differently. I didn’t say it was easy!)

Economy class

Anyway, the reason I’m sharing these asides – and the rare from real-life picture above – is to give a quick update on my embrace of consumerism.

The story so far: You’ll remember I bought a flat, I still haven’t written up why, and I set about spending some of my 20-odd years of winnings (well, savings and winnings) to make it fancy.

This got off to a good start. I’ve always loved nice furnishings and so on – from afar. But by the middle of the hot summer I was bored of spending money.

I’d lost enthusiasm, I’d lost my girlfriend (she said she didn’t like my sudden interiors obsession, but perhaps she just didn’t like the sofa I finally selected?), and I’d lost (/spent) more money traded for matter than I’d spent on things in the previous two decades combined.

I didn’t even go crazy! It’s just that living like a graduate student even as your earnings multiply is pretty low-rent.

For most of that long era I used to opine to my more normally spendy friends that buying stuff only produced problems. Which in my experience was almost always true.

Stuff didn’t work, or you had to upgrade something else, or it broke, or you felt guilty, or you had to wait in for days to get it delivered, or you were worried it’d get nicked when finally you did get hold of it – or any one of a dozen other woes that people who buy stuff all the time think is just the way the world is.

Only two things hit the spot for me without fail when I splashed the cash. Black cabs – which I almost never took, and felt so luxurious in those pre-Uber days – and the first beer with two poppadoms and all the sauces and other gubbins.

Obviously I did a gazillion other things over the decades. I didn’t just taxi around London from curry house to curry house! And often it was money well spent.

But never reliably so.

Well, this whole flat buying and furnishing thing has proven my younger self right.

Through the keyhole

Don’t get me wrong. It’s coming along. It looks beautiful, to me if not my ex. I feel lucky to live among all these things I chose in my still-new flat, even knowing luck is only part of it.

But, oh! I guess I secretly thought the universe would notice The Investor Is Finally Throwing Money At The Problem and the rules would change. But they haven’t.

Stuff comes broken. Trades people don’t show up. Some of them are great, but some are – well – yet to find their true calling. Deliveries don’t arrive. I made a final push to finish my flat before Christmas, and caned the Black Friday offers. But only three of the seven resultant purchases that were scheduled for delivery have actually made it here so far. A new record of rubbishness.

Coffee machines are harder to use than you expected. Analine leather sofas stain if you sneeze near them. Complete automatic watering systems require add-ons to water completely. Your boiler is already up for a service – and that’ll be £100+ with VAT please.

I feel sometimes like Robinson Crusoe, finally back on the mainland after a long sabbatical away catching fresh fish with his hands and brushing his teeth with a fragrant root. I can confirm 2018 has a lot of gorgeous stuff on offer – but as we all know it comes at a price and doesn’t really solve anything.

Still happy I did it, but pleased I’m mostly buying things that will last.

Once I’m done the hedonic treadmill is going back into storage!

Note: Yes, it’s an expensive coffee machine (though one of the cheaper good ones). I’ve always liked a few quality things in life, I’ve just tended to get them cheaply. I saved about half my income for 20 years, so while the Frugal Police are welcome to give me a caution, keep in mind that I wrote the (racier) pages of the book you’re throwing at me. And beware Buffett’s Folly…

From Monevator

From the archive-ator: Death, infirmity, and investing – Monevator

News

Note: Some links are Google search results – in PC/desktop view you can click to read the piece without being a paid subscriber. Try privacy/incognito mode to avoid cookies. Consider subscribing if you read them a lot!1

Here’s how much fund managers are paid [to lose to the market] – Institutional Investor

Houses prices down on fundamentals not Brexit, research suggests – ThisIsMoney

Property slump could cut number of affordable homes built by 25% – Guardian

UK migration: Fewer EU arrivals, but overall figure stays the same – BBC

Do you live in one of the happiest places in the UK? – ThisIsMoney

The inheritance tax mess, where richest pay a lower percentage rate – Simon Lambert

Products and services

UK rail fares to rise 3.1% in January – Guardian

Shawbrook tops table with a 1.65% one-year cash ISA rate – ThisIsMoney

Ratesetter will pay you £100 [and me a bonus] if you invest £1,000 for a year – Ratesetter

New breed of elite dating apps for wealthy singletons [Search result] – FT

Comment and opinion

How to own all tomorrow’s winning stocks – The Evidence-based Investor

John Bogle needn’t worry about index fund dominance – Pragmatic Capitalism

The proliferation of indices isn’t all it appears – Abnormal Returns

In praise of old jobs – Young (Mrs) FIGuy

Spend more: The most ignored piece of financial advice [Search result] – FT

How to retire forever on a big stash [US taxes/insurance] – Mr Money Mustache

FIRE Day! – Retirement Investing Today

You would not have invested with Warren Buffett – Behavioural Value Investor

Anti-FIRE: The YOLO train wreck edition – Simple Living in Somerset

Juggling six-figure margin debt [Don’t try this at home!] – Fire V London

The top 20 personal finance questions answered – Guardian

Morningstar gets into the finance-meets-food-pyramid game – Morningstar

Five things parenting and (active) investing share – The Value Perspective

What can we do about over-confidence? – Behavioural Investor

An attempt at estimating the true ‘global market portfolio’, including all the unlisted assets in the world [Research] – Alpha Architect

Brexit

Government finally admits UK will be worse off under all Brexits – New York Times

Leave voters statistically much likelier to believe conspiracy theories – Guardian

A Daily Mail EU scare story debunked [Again, people believe this crap] – Tom Pride

The French village that fears for its British community – BBC

Romania has lost 16% of its population to rest of EU in a decade – MSW via Twitter

Brexit TV Debate: A former Remainer will argue for her Brexit deal, a closet Leaver for a better deal or Remain. What a time to be alive! – BBC

I’d like to Exit from these homegrown cretins. Where do I vote? – BBC

Kindle book bargains

Why You? 101 Interview Questions You’ll Never Fear Again by James Reed – £1.99 on Kindle

Thank You for Being Late: An Optimist’s Guide to Thriving in the Age of Accelerations by Thomas L. Friedman – £1.99 on Kindle

The Spider Network: The Wild Story of a Maths Genius and One of the Greatest Scams in Financial History by David Enrich – £1.99 on Kindle

Tiny Budget Cooking: Saving Money Never Tasted So Good by Limahl Asmall – £1.09 on Kindle

Off our beat

Internet: The end of the beginning [Video/Presentation] – Benedict Evans

Watch how just a few self-driving cars prevent traffic jams [Graphics] – Science

Nike and Boeing are paying sci-fi writers to predict their futures – Medium

Woman who names daughter ‘Abcde’ is upset when someone finds it funny – ABC News

A man actually ticked the US Visa form ‘Are You A Terrorist?’ box – via Twitter

Maps showing how we’re divided by more than Brexit [Funny, old-ish] – Ink Tank

And finally…

“Why should we look to the past in order to prepare for the future? Because there is nowhere else to look.” – James Burke, Connections

Like these links? Subscribe to get them every Friday!

Note some articles can only be accessed through the search results if you’re using PC/desktop view (from mobile/tablet view they bring up the firewall/subscription page). To circumvent, switch your mobile browser to use the desktop view. On Chrome for Android: press the menu button followed by “Request Desktop Site”.

Weekend reading: I shopped til I dropped published first on https://justinbetreviews.weebly.com/

[calliesinger1-blog]

Red Queen (Reddish Queen, # 1) By Victoria Aveyard-- Evaluations, Dialogue, Bookclubs, Lists.

Will Change be actually the excellent console comeback that Nintendo thus seriously long for? All in all The Hot Go (Video game On # 4) by Kristen Callihan was actually a splendid add-on to the Game On series, as well as Finn Mannus a FANTASTIC character that I won't fail to remember thus quickly. Some video games have a sort of keen focus, yet Lost in Tranquility is quite the various other kind-- a sort-of capitivating wreck that somehow integrates the even more you play, relevant you won't wish to place it down. As well as while, provided, some large percentage from Computers are actually never utilized for everything besides Outlook and also basic internet, PCs stay one of the most flexible and also happiest way to game. I have gotten recipe books just before and also many of the time just wish to bring in a handful of dishes from it, however I can tell you there are a lots of recipes in your book that I would like to make an effort. A wonderful experience off Germany, where folks didn't also know that the journey activity passed away. Thats really good to listen to since its beginning to resemble multiplats are actually the only video games worth jumping on a specific console that is actually income solely depends on its on the internet engagement numbers". I go through a book contacted The Background from Beans" which I highly encourage to any person that ases if pulses. There have actually been instances of PS4 Pro games along with higher functionality 1080p methods just easily accessible if the front-end is actually set to a total HD outcome - Zero Guy's Skies as well as The Final Guardian are actually two instances of this. The Deus Ex-boyfriend series of video games has caught the futuristic creative imaginations from sci-fi as well as cyberpunk supporters the world over for years. I have my very own personal specifications of values and also high quality for these console manufacturerers, and also game authors vying for my difficult generated income and you undoubtedly possess none. He couldn't comprehend why she needed to leave behind due to the fact that a portion of his being actually was left damaged when she made a decision to quit playing the game without notifying him. As well as of course, the gossips hold true, you can train in VR. After an hour from defending my lifestyle from robotic flocks, the VR the video game had me sweating and also panicked (in a nice way). The visual and globe structure this book is luxurious, beautiful and also to need. Along with a couple of exemptions, the 'next-gen' upscaling techniques used on PS4 Pro do not usually exist in the COMPUTER area - as well as software-level PC upscalers that can produce fantastic results still just show in a minority of games. By conclusion of period 4 Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) possessed lastly had his fill from being managed like the family discomfort. If you liked this article so you would like to collect more info pertaining to braintesters.info please visit our own internet site. Advancing sales of the Pokémon video games hit over 200 thousand duplicates - and that is actually not featuring the Game Boys little ones purchased exclusively for the video games. In order to help buyers assess their enthusiasm in the future game, we have actually collected a checklist of fifteen traits you need to understand just before you get the activity. I know this publication is about an enchanting spot, however that truly ended up being an enchanting take in that I am actually certainly not going to overlook anytime very soon. Let's point out a pupil likes criminal songs as well as wants to create an arithmetic parlor game around this. She can generate a band as well as concept the panel along with unique sites, trip quits, etc The environment really felt quite much like another favorite book, The Night Festival, in the sense that the video game happens in the evening - but that is actually as for similarities go. This book resembles nothing else I have actually ever before gone through and I couldn't transform the webpages quickly enough! Thus, as in the video game on its own, you are actually as much battling yourself and your very own inclinations are you are actually the real opponents - and also this's that body that makes sure Dark Souls the Parlor game is more engaged in comparison to this is actually hard. For numerous years, the games have actually been actually moving forward over time, progressing past the near-future setting from the Modern Combat headlines right into the space struggles from Infinite War, introducing drones, robotics and also, the majority of controversially, spacecraft packs, along the road. This is actually the very first publication I loved, despite the fact that I had not been into the plot or characters a lot of. This is actually the 10th amount in Australia's AQF unit, and could include PhD's, M.D.'s, DPT's, legislation levels, DDS's, as well as a wide array of other degrees, each called for the career( s) that they level is actually associated with. Postgraduate degrees may take anywhere off 3 to 6 years to complete. Conforming on the play area normally teaches people to conform from life in the right sense, which is what matters very most, not success or even defeat. I am thus sorry, yet I assume that was my creating for why I was actually getting a 6 webpage recipe.