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myfearless-love · 3 years

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The Wildest Place You Run (6/?) - No Intention of Hurting You

As promised, second chapter this week is here! Hope you like it! Thank you for reading, reblogging, liking! Also huge thank you to my bet and artist, @thejollyroger-writer!! Check out the art she made for chapters 5 & 6!

Summary:

Vampires, Werewolves, Mages, and Elves. For centuries, they kept their existence a secret, but the constant rebellions against the strict laws of the Guild had led to a terrible tragedy. In an open clash, it became apparent to humans just what kind of monsters lived among them. Emma Swan loses the love of her life in the first battle of the war. A few months later, while still trying to process what happened, a mysterious and terrifying figure worms his way into her life. But the man is hiding far more terrible secrets than he reveals to her, pulling them both into a horrible situation...

Chapter: 6/? - No Intention of Hurting You

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Rating: M

Relationships: Killian Jones/Emma Swan

Read on: FF.net or AO3

Words: ~4.4k

Previous parts:

Ch 1 II Ch 2 II Ch 3 II Ch 4 II Ch 5

It was as if the whole world were swaying around her and a giant vortex was about to swallow her. She felt the cold biting into her bones, its cruel teeth like needles on her skin. Then she saw huge cordons emerge from the utter darkness around her, a pale figure appearing before her eyes. His arms swelled with muscle, his eyes gleamed black, and his mouth twisted into a satisfied grin. Behind the cordon, there were burning, overturned vehicles...

“Swan! Bloody hell, what’s happening?”

Someone shook her shoulder violently, the darkness flickered, and she found herself back in the comfortable leather seat of the Porsche with the soothing orange glow of the instrument panel. “Just a vision. I’m sure it was one this time,” she murmured, massaging her aching temple.

“A vision?” Killian’s gaze wandered back and forth between her and the road. “Your eyes were closed, and you weren’t breathing. I thought it was a… seizure.”

“No, it wasn’t. But we have to turn back, the road’s closed. Or it will be in a few minutes.”

“I can’t.” He shook his head. “It’s the only way out of town. It would be too much of a detour, and we’re running out of time.”

“But it’s closed!” she repeated desperately, the image of the man and the cordon still flashing before her eyes.

“And you think that’s going to stop me?” He raised an eyebrow, and she already knew the answer to his question: no, of course not.

After half a minute, the barriers appeared in the street, as did the uniformed policeman loitering before them. She was sure he was the figure she had just seen in her vision. With a half-smile on his face, he let his hand slide loosely into his pocket and walked toward the slowing Porsche.

“Good afternoon! As you can see, the road is closed. There has been a minor accident. You can get around to Vermilion Boulevard—”

“I’m afraid we don’t have time for that. Can we just…”

She blanked out Killian’s voice and instead stared at the cop in fascination. He looked so familiar, but she just couldn’t figure out where from.

Then the officer pointed to the back of the car, leaned lightly against the door with one hand, and turned his face away. The left half of his cheek was marred by a couple of circular scars.

And then it became crystal clear.

He was the vampire who had wounded Neal with the dagger.

After a moment’s thought, she reached for her gun. She would never have a better opportunity than this to settle at least a small score from that night. But the creature noticed her movement and immediately jumped on top of the car. She suspected he wasn’t in the mood to get a few more cuts on his face.

Killian didn’t hesitate for long either, he immediately stepped on the gas.

“Killian, the barriers!” she yelled, holding her arms in front of her face (as if that would protect her from a possible collision).

She heard the Vampire roll off from the roof of the car and hit the ground behind them with a thud, then she waited for the impact.

But nothing happened, only the soothing purr of the engine could be heard. Half a minute later, she blinked her eyes open and looked anxiously at the windshield, but by then they were speeding through the suburbs, dodging the burning cars in the streets.

“What the…?”

“Did you seriously think I was going to wreck this car?” Killian laughed, amused by her baffled expression, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

He was making fun of her a lot lately, and she didn’t like that at all. “I hardly know you, you could be a total lunatic!” She objected, but to her surprise, he only laughed louder instead of being offended.

“How true, lass.” He left it at that, but still smiling.

It was strange to see that expression on his face. Cheerful. Open. Sincere.

“And it would be best for you if it stayed that way…” he added, and the smile didn’t fade from his face, instead morphing into bitterness.

“What do you mean?” She raised an eyebrow, but she was almost certain she had guessed what he meant.

He didn’t answer right away. He bit his lower lip, then gave her a quick sideways glance. “It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head and said nothing more.

Emma, on the other hand, scanned his face and his rigid eyes curiously.

An awkward silence descended upon them, and for long minutes, neither of them said anything. She couldn’t decide whether to force the issue or not. She wondered about Killian’s past and wanted to know what had happened to him.

“It does for me. I want to know you,” she replied softly, opting for honesty.

Killian shuddered and looked at her again. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.” He shook his head ruefully.

“Then tell me. Let me be the judge of that,” she insisted, surprising herself at how vehement her tone was.

August would surely be interested, too, and after a long, painful month, something — or someone — was finally making her curious.

Killian didn’t answer this time, just kept his gaze on the road and wrapped himself in silence again.

“Why are you interested?” he began after a few minutes.

“I don’t know. I just am,” she admitted and shrugged.

She wasn’t trying to snoop in his past because of August, though. She wanted to know more about him because of her own curiosity.

“You’re strange,” he said quietly, but there was no trace of mockery in his voice.

“So are you.” She left it at that, counting down the seconds for when he would finally give in. But it seemed she had been overconfident, and cracking the nutshell would be harder than she thought.

“Are we far?” she asked after a good quarter of an hour. She decided to table the subject for now. He obviously didn’t want to elaborate and it wasn’t like she had a choice in the matter. If he didn’t want to talk about himself, she wouldn’t force him.

“Not long now,” he replied, his face suddenly looking infinitely tormented. He blinked flatly and slowly tilted his head back, rolling his neck.

“Are you tired?”

“A bit,” he murmured wearily, but kept his eyes on the road.

“Um, do you mind if I turn on the radio?” she asked, a little concerned.

She couldn’t let him fall asleep behind the wheel. If she could drive, she would gladly offer to take the wheel over, but since she couldn’t, her only option was the loud booming music.

“I’d rather listen to my own music,” he said, gesturing towards the glove compartment.

Without a word, she plugged in the USB player after fishing it out.

At maximum volume, "Sin" by Pet Shop Boys began blaring. Killian seemed to have perked up a bit, and she contentedly drummed the rhythm on her jean-clad knees. She was shocked, too, but she was actually having fun with him, in the middle of a huge storm and a possible Elf attack, while listening to one of her favorite songs. An inexplicable serenity took hold of her, and she returned Killian’s smile.

“I never would have guessed you’d like this genre,” she exclaimed over the music.

Killian raised an eyebrow, but decided to let the remark slide. “I see you like it too.”

“Yeah! I’m always up for some retro music.”

She was eagerly searching the USB player’s library for more songs when the car skidded through a dent in the road. With a jerk, she snatched her head up, only then realizing they were driving on a forest road.

“Where exactly are we now?” She began to grow uneasy.

“Not far from Firefly Hill.”

To avoid a nasty hit on the head in case of another bump on the road, she leaned back in her seat. Soon her phone vibrated again and, of course, it was David. Again.

“Get me Killian!” was her only greeting.

“It’s David. He wants to talk to you.” She handed him the phone.

Killian stared at the device in surprise for a while, but then took it from her grasp. “We’re on our way,” he replied after some silence. “We just left Firefly Hill … Yes, I’ll take her right there… Sorry mate, you’re late. It’s too late.”

With that, Killian ended the call and handed the phone back to her. She took it with a slight daze and put it back in her pocket.

“Where’s David now?” she asked seriously.

“At your place,” came the curt reply.

“Didn’t you just say he was coming too?” The whole thing was getting weirder by the second, and she was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

“That was the plan, yes.”

“Killian, what the hell is going on?” She stopped trying to pretend to be calm. She was in full panic mode.

“Your brother will be a little late, but he will be there,” he tried to reassure her, but he failed.

Killian gradually slowed the car at the edge of the clearing but didn’t turn off the headlights, so Emma could clearly take out the wood-framed house in the thick of the trees, which was ready to collapse at any moment.

“Why are we stopping here?”

“We’re here.”

“Are you seriously saying that this dump is the Guild headquarters?” She was beginning to lose her patience.

August was right, something was off about Killian. Involuntarily, her fingers wandered to her gun, the alarm bells in her head refusing to fall silent. She knew something was up.

“Aye,” he replied as calmly as he could, but then he noticed her hands slipping to the gun, and she slowly pulled back from him as far as she could. “Bloody hell, Swan! I’m not going to hurt you.” His eyes widened in shock, but she wasn’t fooled by his almost professional demeanor.

If she thought about it, maybe he didn’t even have to put on a show. She’s sure he thought he could play her for a fool and she wouldn’t realize he was reporting back to their enemies.

“August said we couldn’t trust you! And there must’ve been a reason for my vision!” She pulled out the pistol and pressed it directly to Killian’s forehead.

“You’ve got this all wrong,” he snarled, and she detected a previously unknown emotion in his eyes. Fear.

“Get out of the car!” she demanded, and all that was running on a loop in her head was his conversation with David. That, and the promise she’d made to herself a couple of years ago that she still couldn’t stick to.

You can’t trust anyone unconditionally.

Then Killian’s voice echoed in her mind again.

“Sorry mate, you’re late. It’s too late.”

“Emma, don’t do this! Trust me!”

“Why should I? I don’t know you, you’re just a stranger to me, and you just said it was better if it stayed that way. If you don’t do as I say, I won’t leave things to chance.” Only her words were confident; she and her voice were not.

What if he really didn’t want to hurt her and she was just a scaredy-cat?

But then, what she feared the most did happen. A strange light flashed in Killian’s eyes and the gun simply flew out of her hand, right through the back window, shattering the glass. He grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her out of the car.

“I’m sorry, love, but if we keep this up, they’re going to sense our presence,” he informed her, grabbing hold of her other arm and walking her toward the house.

His hold was firm, but surprisingly gentle around her wrist.

“Let go of me, you jerk! What the hell are you doing?” she was terrified now, unable to think, and yanked convulsively on her arm to free herself from Killian’s iron grip.

“Mil... Swan!” he corrected himself immediately. “Please, calm down. I don’t want to hurt you, you have to understand that! The Guild is here, the trapdoor…”

“Tell me what you want from me! You’re not going to blackmail David with me! They’re not stupid enough to jeopardize the Guild because of me, so if that’s your plan, you might as well let me go!”

“Have you lost your bloody mind?” He, too, began to lose his patience. “I said I didn’t want to hurt you! The Elves hot on our heels, on the other hand, might not be in the same mood!” he proclaimed, but she still couldn’t believe him.

He was only trying to trick her, she was sure, as he had done so far. She cursed herself for falling for the guise of the sad, lonely guy. How could they always fool her?

She dug her heels and then simply threw herself to the ground, hoping to slip out of Killian’s hands, but he was prepared for that move. All she managed to achieve was to pull him with her, but his grip on her wrist didn’t loosen a whiff.

The next moment, he jumped up and yanked her up with one hand, her head jolting against his chest. She decided to do what was most logical and easy in this situation: she kicked him in the groin with her knee.

Finally, something he had not expected.

He let out a painful groan, curled up, and pressed his hand where her knee had been a moment ago. She didn’t hesitate for a moment and immediately ran toward the forest. She hated running, and would never understand those who did it for fun, but that mentality would have come in handy now. She threw herself into the trees, trying to watch out for fallen branches and protruding roots. She certainly didn’t want to fall on the muddy, leaf-covered ground.

The wind roared cruelly among the trees as well, she heard almost nothing but her own gasps and the whistling of the wind in her ear.

She was surprised at how far away she managed to flee, and she hoped Killian had given up and “entrusted” her to the care of the forest. Exhausted, she leaned against the trunk of an old tree, trying to quench her thirst for air. Slowly, she let herself slide to the ground, her legs trembling with fatigue. All she wanted was to catch her breath and rest a little.

She closed her eyes and tried to think soberly, rationalize everything she knew so far about Killian. He was a traitor, that’s why he was such a loner and standoffish. He was not the best actor, so he took on few roles, always standing in the corner and listening rather than speaking.

But why did they always find her? Was her naivety that obvious?

It seemed like it.

All her life, she had only trusted three people who didn’t betray her. Mary Margaret, David, and Neal. Everyone else, no matter how good she tried to be to them, had taken advantage of her, deceived and betrayed her.

A sudden noise broke her out of her musings.

To her left, a branch crackled, the rustling of leaves swept towards her by the gust. With the last of her strength, she sprang to her feet and, without turning, she started running again. Her crumbling knees warned her she wouldn’t get far, but she had to try.

She could barely jog twenty yards when a sharp pain erupted in her shoulder. She let out a yelp, and as a result of a powerful push, she landed on the hard, cold ground. The muscles and bones in her shoulder seemed to be on fire, it was unbearable and she couldn’t stop screaming.

She rolled onto her back and pressed her uninjured hand to her wounded shoulder, which was already wet with her blood. She gasped for air and found it difficult to focus on the gray, bluish-skinned Dark Elf towering in front of her. His long, white hair fluttered about his waist as he glared down at her, an evil smile stretching over his lips.

He approached her slowly and leaned over her. She wanted to get up and run away, but she couldn’t get her limbs to move. She whimpered weakly and began to regret running away from Killian. It was possible that she would have died faster and in a gentler way…

Death. Was there life after that? Could she meet Neal? She missed him very much.

Then, however, the Elf straightened and sniffed the air furiously. His face twisted into a grimace and simply turned his back on her. At that exact moment, he flew back through the air at least thirty yards, and the trunk of the tree he had collided with gave out with a weak crack.

She decided that if she still wanted to live to see the next sunrise, she had to act now. Despite the shrilling pain in her shoulder, she rolled onto her stomach, propped herself up on her palms, and tried to convince her legs to support her weight. Suddenly, however, she got help: an arm wrapped around her waist and another under her knees, and she was swept up by a tall figure.

The man pressed her body to his chest and started running. Hesitantly, she chanced a look up at her rescuer’s face, but as soon as she met Killian’s gaze, the relief she had felt a moment ago instantly evaporated. She wanted to scream at him, to hit him, to protest, but she had zero strength left. She had no choice but to beg. Maybe it would work. Or maybe it wouldn’t even move him at all.

“Killian, no... Please, don’t.”

“Shh, Emma, calm down.” He pressed her body harder against him as she began to squirm. She almost managed to wiggle out of his arms and if it wasn’t for his fast reflexes, she would’ve slumped to the ground. He steadied her and, with a concerned flash in her eyes, he brushed an errant lock of her hair from her eyes. The gesture was so gentle that she all but forgot to twist out of his hold — and then something caught her eye.

She never had a close look at the tattoos on his left arm, but now a name stood out in contrast among the many designs.

Who the hell was Milah? Was that what he was going to call her earlier before he corrected himself?

But before she could ponder those questions any longer, the last drops of consciousness seeped out of her, her strength evaporating, her limbs going numb. The last thing she felt was Killian gathering her limp body into his arms. She greeted the sweet, empty blackness like an old acquaintance, almost relieved that they were meeting again.

-/-

“They’re coming! But... I don’t think Emma is doing so well.” Robin’s voice gradually entered her brain, and Emma found it hard to fully comprehend the words. She was still numb, every part of her feeling like lead.

“What? What’s happened? Jones! What the—”

“I can explain, but first—”

Killian’s voice was cut off by David’s outburst. “What did you do to her? You’re going to regret this! Didn’t I tell you to take care of her?”

“David, we don’t have time for this now!” Mary Margaret admonished him, her voice sounding used, slightly hoarse. “Killian, come with me.”

Squeaking doors, hushed whispers, shuffling footsteps, rustling of clothes. Silence and darkness. Again.

She was recovering from a long, dreamless sleep in a completely unfamiliar room. Her shoulder woke her, a pain boring cruelly through her flesh. The throbbing brought tears to her eyes in an instant.

She wiped her eyes with her hand, then looked around the room as best she could. It was very modest, the wide double bed she was lying on almost completely filling the room. There was no window, the only source of light coming from the simple chandelier that hung from the ceiling. The walls were covered in navy blue wallpaper that immediately sent a cold shiver down her spine. The bedding was also a light cerulean shade, but it was a visibly expensive piece.

Her throat was dry and sore, and in the back of her head sat an ache that threatened to grow into a severe migraine, a sure sign that dehydration wasn’t far off. She would have given half her life for a glass of water. Emma decided to ignore her discomfort until she managed to roll her body into a sitting position and set her lead-heavy legs on the floor, standing up a little wobbly and feeling like jello. She managed quite well as she headed for the door, but needless to say, she didn’t even know her vocabulary for swear words was that enormous.

She was already halfway across the room when someone hesitantly opened the door. At first, the person only dared to poke their head in the little nook. Emma, on the other hand, instinctively took two steps back.

Killian quickly entered the room and quietly closed the door behind him. He raised both hands up in surrender and studied her face as if she were a ticking time bomb.

“Swan, I still have no intention of hurting you,” he remarked softly, and she nodded slowly, swallowing hard.

The events of the last few hours were only now beginning to become real. Not only had she made a spectacular fool of herself — which she often managed to do — but this time it had almost cost her life.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured quietly.

She felt her cheeks turn warm, so she angled her body away from Killian’s searching gaze. But the tiny room began to spin in a strange dance before her eyes.

“You should rest some more, love,” he noted softly.

“I’m thirsty. I’ll get something to drink first.” She made her way towards the exit again, but her legs didn’t seem ready to cooperate for such a long journey. She was dizzy as hell, and if Killian’s reflexes weren’t so unbeatable, she would have acquired a new gash on her head.

“I’ll fetch you some water.”

He hooked an arm around her waist and practically carried her back to the bed. He gently pressed her back onto the pillow, and then hurried out of the room.

She barely had time to close her eyes when he returned with a glass of cold water in his hand.

“Thanks.” She took the drink from his hold with a grateful look and began taking generous sips of the refreshing beverage. It felt incredible in her nearly parched throat, but she couldn’t enjoy it for long before Killian snatched it from her fingers.

“Don’t be greedy now, Swan. Slow down.” He smiled, set the glass on the nightstand, then anxiously leaned over to her and slowly shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry!”

They said it at the same time, but somehow the scene didn’t turn out to be comical at all.

“What you did was incredibly foolish,” he said in a half-hearted, scolding tone, setting himself on the edge of the bed.

“Um, yeah, seems to be a theme in my life,” she joked. “But really, I’m sorry. You just scared me and I thought…”

“I know quite well what you thought. When you held the Glock to my head, you made it perfectly clear.” His tone sounded somber as he turned his head away.

She was incredibly ashamed and it must have shown because she was almost sure her face was the color of a tomato.

“You were cryptic and kind of shady,” she muttered defensively, but even she heard how pathetic her excuses were.

“I know, but I didn’t have time to explain, I sensed the Elves were on our heels.”

She didn’t know what to say in response, she would have preferred to turn into an ostrich and bury her head in the sand, honestly. “I didn’t think it through. My brain wasn’t working and I panicked,” she whined in despair. “I’ve been a little paranoid lately.”

Killian’s face became inscrutable again, and the whole situation felt strange as he sat on the edge of the bed. His presence somehow reassured her, because she was quite sure now that he really wasn’t going to hurt her. And it was good that they could work everything out in a civilized manner. Most Hunters would have talked her ear off by now. To be honest, she would have deserved it. She was acting like an irresponsible lunatic. Speaking of which...

“Oh, and I’m also sorry for kicking you.”

To her surprise, Killian let out a soft laugh. “I’m not saying I enjoyed it, but I must congratulate you on that move. I wasn’t expecting that,” he replied lightly. “Though, you did give me quite a scare with the gun.”

“I didn’t think you could be scared of anything, and you’ve outdone yourself in that regard…”

“I’m not surprised…” he muttered, fidgeting with the edge of the cotton blanket.

Then her brother’s shouting broke the momentary silence.

“Why is he in there? I made it pretty clear he wasn’t to come near her!”

His outburst of anger didn’t even surprise her. Nice little family she’d gotten here. Paranoia, anger issues… there’s everything. The hinges of the door creaked frantically as David stormed into the tiny room. The door slammed against the wall and he marched furiously toward Killian, who got up from the bed faster than she could follow with her eyes.

Within two fleeting seconds, David’s fist met with Killian’s chin. He made no sound at the blow but stumbled and fell to all fours. Blood dripped from his skin, the surface of his jaw scraped by the force of the punch.

“David, it was an accident! It was all my fault! I screwed up, I was stupid and—”

“If he’d kept you safe, this wouldn’t have happened! You could’ve died! Like Leo!”

#cs ff #captain swan #cssns 2021 #cssns21 #cs fic #emma swan #once upon a time #captan hook #ouat #ouat ff #killian x emma #captain swan supernatural #thejollyroger writer #TWPYR #cs fanfic #captain swan ff #my fic

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celiabowens · 4 years

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Book recommendations, Literary Fiction edition(?)

A companion to this post (which should be updated, at some point lol)

Short Story Collections:

Salt Slow by Julia Armfield: grotesque and disquieting collection about women and their experience in society, how they view and perceive their own body and desires. Pretty strong mythic, magical realism, body horror elements in here.

The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales by Oliver Sacks: fascinating collection in which Sacks reminishes some particularly odd stories of patients who had to cope with bizarre neurological disorders.

Home Remedies by Xuan Juliana Wang: a collection focused on the Chinese millennial experience. Stories about love and loss, family, immigration and the uncertainty of the future. (also there’s an extremely beautiful short story about a pair of Chinese divers that broke me forever!!!)

Bestiary: The Selected Stories by Julio Cortázar: unforgettable selection of short stories that mix surreal elements to everyday life and apparently ordinary events. Would also recommend All Fires the Fire by the same author.

Novels:

How Much of These Hills is Gold by C. Pam Zhang: one of the biggest debuts of 2020, it follows two recently orphaned children through the gold rush era. An adventurous historical fiction piece that focuses on themes like gender, identity and immigration, this is one of my favorites 2020 reads so yeah, I’d really push it in anyone’s hands to be honest.

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent: historical fiction inspired by the last days of a young woman accused of murder in Iceland in the 1820s. A quite bleak, but beautiful novel (the prose is stunning).

The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave: historical fiction novel set in Norway in the 17th century, following the lives of a group of women in a village that recently (barely) survived a storm that killed all of the island’s men.

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead: the 2020 winner of the Pulitzer Prize. The book follows the lives of two boys sentenced to a reform school in Jim Crow-era Florida. A bleak, but important book, with a shocking final twist (side note, I’ve been recommended The Underground Railroad by Whitehead as well, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. If you’re looking for something quite peculiar, if a bit less refined when compared to The Nickel Boys, The Intuitionist is a quite odd pulpy noir set in an alternate NY about...elevator inspectors *and racism*).

The Leavers by Lisa Ko: haunting book about identity and immigration as the main character is apparently abandoned by his own mother (an undocumented Chinese immigrant) during his childhood. Mainly a story about living in between places and constantly feeling out of place.

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa: when everyone would probably recommend Murakami (not much against Murakami besides his descriptions of women and their boobs), I suggest checking out some of Ogawa’s books. The recently translated The Memory Police, published in Japan in the mid 90s, is an orwellian dystopian novel set on an unnamed Island where memories slowly disappear. Would also really recommend The Housekeeper and The Professor, a really short novel about a housekeeper hired to clean and cook for a math professor who suffered an injury that causes him to remember new things for only 80 minutes.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong: Ocean Vuong’s debut novel, following a son writing a letter to his illiterate mother. The book seems quite polarising due to Vuong’s writing style (his poetry background is really quite clear and the book doesn’t really follow a regular narrative, rather than portrays events and memories in brief flashes), but I loved it and I’d really just recommend going into it without knowing much? It’s a beautiful exploration of language, family history, trauma, sexuality and more.

Exist West by Mohsin Hamid: this book was fairly popular when it came out (in 2017 I believe) and was often incorrectly marketed as magical realism. Hamid’s book is a brief and quietly brutal journey with a few fantastical elements, following a couple trying to escape their city in the middle of war, as they hear about peculiar doors that can whisk people far away. The doors are, of course, a quite effective metaphor for the immigrant experience and the book does a great job at portraying the main characters’ relationship.

Family Trust by Kathy Wang: this has a really low rating on goodreads which...wow i hate that. Family Trust is a literary family saga/drama about a Chinese-American family residing in the Silicon Valley. It’s often been compared to Crazy Rich Asians, but I believe it to be more on the literary side and definitely less lighthearted.

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee: historical family saga (one of my favorites tbh, I’m absolutely biased, but this book deserved more hype) set in Korea and Japan throughout the 20th century, following four generations of a Korean family. While I wasn’t the biggest fan of the prose, the book has really great characterisation and absolutely fascinating characters. (I’d suggest checking out eventual TW first, in this case).

The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker: another recent read, The Silence of the Girls, while not faultless, is a pretty good retelling of The Iliad, narrated through Briseis’ perspective. The prose can feel a bit too modern at times, but it provides the reader with some really strong quotes and descriptions.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: and also Little Fires Everywhere by the same author, to be honest. If you’re looking for really really good family dramas, with great explorations of rather complex and nuanced relationships? You should just check out her stuff. Vibrant characters, good writing, and some superb portrayal of longing here.

Nutshell by Ian McEwan: i’m starting with this one only to grab your attention (if you’ve even reached this part lol, congrats), but McEwan’s one of my favorite authors and I’d recommend almost everything I’ve read by him? Nutshell, specifically, is a really odd and fun retelling of Hamlet...told from the pov of an unborn baby. But really, I’d also recommend Atonement (of course), The Children Act, Amsterdam? All good stuff.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles: I’ve read this book this summer and, while I’m still unsatisfied with the ending, I’d thoroughly recommend this? The novel follows Count Alexander Rostov, who, in 1922, is sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest in the Metropol, a luxurious hotel in the center of Moscow. A singular novel, funny and heartbreaking at once, following a vibrant cast of characters as they come and go from Rostov’s secluded life.

Human Acts by Han Kang: from the bestselling author of The Vegetarian (which honestly, I thoroughly despised lol), Human Acts focuses on the South Korean Gwangju uprising. It’s a really odd (and at times grotesque) experimental novel (one chapter is narrated from the pov of one of the bodies if I remember correctly), so one really has to be in the mood for it, but it’s a really unique experience, worth a chance.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon: sort of a really chunky historical adventure novel following two artists in 1940s/1950s NY, who create a superhero and use him to wage a one man war on the Nazis. A bit slow in places (the pace can be uneven at times and the book is quite long), but an enjoyable novel that does a pretty good job when it comes to exploring rather classic themes of American contemporary fiction: the American dream and the figure of the artist (I think there’s a particularly interesting focus on how the artists navigates the corporate world and its rules) and their creative process.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel: this is a pretty classic rec, the book really got a lot of hype when it came out? It’s a dystopian-ish novel set after civilisation’s collapse, following a post-apocalyptic troupe (of Shakespearean actors). It’s a really odd, but surprisingly quiet book. Not sure if a pandemic is exactly the right time to read it, but I thoroughly recommend it.

The Garden of Evening Mists by Tan Twan Eng: I feel like this book is extremely complex to summarise to be honest. In short, it’s a book set in Malaya at the end of the 1940s, following a woman who, after surviving Japanese wartime camps, spends her life prosecuting war criminals. But truthfully this book is about conflicts and contradictions and in particular about remembering and forgetting. Lovely prose.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: and also The Goldfinch. I’m sure no one really needs me to introduce Donna Tartt?

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton: quite cerebral mystery set in New Zealand in 1866. Honestly you have to be a patient reader who enjoys novels with a pretty complex structure to like this, but if you’re into this sort of challenging read...go for it? It’s a book of interlocking stories (with 10+ pov and main characters) with a really fascinating structure based on astrological charts, which provide insight to the main characters’ traits and personality as the mystery unfolds.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham: ok...do not watch the movie first. The Hours is an incredibly difficult novel to describe to be honest: it begins by recalling the last moments of Virginia Woolf’s life, as she’s writing Mrs. Dalloway. The book focuses on three separate narratives, each one following a specific character throughout a single day of their own life. Goes without saying that I’d suggest being familiar with Mrs. Dalloway itself first though.

An Artists of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro: not one of Ishiguro’s most famous works (most start reading his work with Never Let Me Go or The Remains of the Day), but probably my favorite out of those I’ve read so far. The novel follows Masuji Ono, an artist who put his work in service of imperialist propaganda throughout WWII. Basically a reflection and an account of the artist’s life as he deals with the culpability of his previous actions.

Stoner by John Williams: I feel like this is an odd book to recommend, because I don’t think someone can truly get the hype unless they read it themselves. Stoner is a pretty straight-forward book, following the ordinary life of an even more ordinary man. And yet it’s so compelling and never dull in its exploration of the characters’ lives and personalities. Also, I’ve just finished Augustus by the same author, which is an epistolary historical fiction novel narrating some of the main events of Augustus’ reign through letters from/by his closest friends and enemies. Really liked it.

Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien: back to integenerational family sagas (because I love those, in case it wasn’t clear lol), Do Not Say We Have Nothing follows a young woman who suddenly rediscovers her family’s fractured past. The novel focuses on two successive generations of a Chinese family through China’s 20th century history. While not every character got the type of development they deserved, the author does a good job when it comes to gradually recreating the family’s complex and nuanced history.

There’s probably more but I doubt anyone’s going to reach the end or anything so. There’s that lol.

#book recs #book rec #litblr #2020 reads #all the typos are my own LOL #also i didnt put here philip roth or auster #but tbh #i dont think anyone needs me to rec them???

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365days365movies · 3 years

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January 25, 2021: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

The disaster movie is, oddly enough, a subgenre of action, while also throwing in a splash of adventure. What I mean by that is, like adventure, focus is slightly shifted away from the characters acting against each other, and towards interactions between the characters and the environment around them. Essentially, an external environmental factor, outside of humans, is the antagonist, sometimes quite literally.

Now, obviously, humans can still be villains in disaster movies, but the conflict of the film always have to revolve around the disaster itself, with all other characters merely players in a large conflict. In other words, you got a main guy, shit explodes, and our main guy has to survive, sometimes with assholes getting in their way. Disaster movies in a nutshell, right there.

This movie trend began with 1970’s Airport, considered by most to be one of the crown jewels of the genre, especially at the time. They died in the mid-’70s, and the 1981 movie Airplane! (one of my favorite comedies) was the death knell for the genre...for about 13 years. I grew up in the reboot era of the disaster movie, with Independence Day, Twister, The Day After Tomorrow, War of the Worlds, Titanic, etc.

But today, we’re looking at what’s said to be the best of the best: the 1972 Academy Award-winning Ronald Neame film The Poseidon Adventure. This is Titanic before Titanic, but also after A Night to Remember...and the actual Titanic, obviously. All I know going in is that the ship is GOING DOWN. Also, Mermaid-Man’s in it. Hi, Ernest Borgnine!

Let’s go! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

So, the opening text tells us RIGHT OFF that it’s New Years Eve, and that this ship, the S.S. Poseidon, is fucked. I’m impressed that we’re getting that out of the way immediately.

We cut to the ship, a cruise liner full of passengers during a storm. The Captain of the ship, Captain Harrison (Leslie Nielsen...LESLIE NIELSEN???)

From Airplane!? Wow! Never seen him in a dramatic role, so that’s awesome!

Anyway, things ain’t goin’ perfect. While a representative of the new owners of the ship forces them to go full speed (at considerable risk), the passengers include the disgruntled Mike Rogo (Ernest Borgnine) and his wife, Linda (Stella Stevens), the latter of which is going through a bout of seasickness. Other passengers include wide-eyed child Robin Shelby (Eric Shea) and his frustrated teenage sister Susan (Pamela Sue Martin); lonely runner James Martin (Red Buttons); married couple Betty and Manny Rosen (Shelley Winters and Jack “Grandpa Joe Who Could Walk The Whole Goddamn Time The Fuckin’ Faker” Albertson); “modern” preacher Reverend Frank Scott (Gene Hackman) and the more traditional Chaplain John (Arthur O’Connell); and singer Nonnie Parry (Carol Lynley), with her waiter admirer Acres (Roddy McDowall).

We’re introduced to these people in quick and efficient fashion, as well as their modus operandi. Rogo’s a detective-lieutenant, and his wife has a troubled past as a prostitute (and their relationship history is...complicated). The Shelby siblings are headed to see their parents overseas. James Martin’s a fitness-conscious bachelor and haberdasher who goes on morning runs. The Rosens have a son and 2-year old grandson in Israel that they’re going to visit, and are likely staying there. Frank Scott is an outspoken preacher, who believes that God only helps those who help themselves, and has been sent to Africa as a sort of punishment. And Nonnie Parry...well…

youtube

Well, she’s singing the song that won this movie the 1972 Academy Award for Best Original Song. YEAH. THAT SONG. You’ve almost certainly heard it, and its fame has far surpassed this movie at this point.

That night, the song is sung at a New Years Party, at which all of our players are assembled. The Captain leaves for the deck, and discovers that an earthquake has just taken place off the coast of Crete. And underwater earthquakes create tsunamis. And tsunamis...well...the ship’s in for some trouble. Batten down, people. The New Year begins with great bombast and celebration...as the wall of water approaches.

Party’s over.

The ship tips, as the wall of water hits, and EVERYBODY goes falling. And I mean FALLING, it’s one hell of a scene. The ship flips entirely upside down, and people holding on to tables quickly fall. The lights go out. And all is quiet.

As the passengers come to, we get an accounting...of the survivors. After all, no way everyone could’ve survived that. The Rogos, Rosens, Rev. Scott, Nonnie, Acres, Martin, and the Shelbys all survive, although some of them need to be a little rescued from the ceiling.

The ship is now upside down. I’m sure that’ll be an issue eventually. For now, with some argument, Reverend Scott leads everyone in an effort to get up to the former floor, where injured waiter Acres is waiting. They use a Christmas tree as a ladder, and begin to climb up to a doorway out. Although, not everyone is inclined to go. Nonnie is the only surviving member of her band, which included her brother, and is only convinced by Martin to go.

The group of people that we’ve been following go, but literally everybody else stays behind. Sadly, this includes Chaplain John, who’s resigned himself and the other to their likely fatal end. He and Reverend Scott have a heart-to-heart, and Scott makes one last plea to the rest. However, the ship’s Purser (Byron Webster) insists that they must stay behind and wait for help, and the vast majority agree with him. And as soon as our group gets to safety…

This movie...this movie is fucking brutal. The throngs panic and try to climb to safety, but the tree falls...and everybody dies as the ship begins its descent. And the Reverend watches. And holy shit. I’m shook. Real talk, I am SHAKEN by this, about as much as the Reverend is. This is...whoof.

The group head towards the kitchen, and find a fire door sealed in place. The reverend tries to open it, despite Rogo’s very realistic and good warnings about flashover (the event during which fresh oxygen is introduced to an oxygen-starved fire, reigniting it violently and quickly). Despite this, Rogo helps him with the door, and the fire is luckily not a flashover. Rev. Scott goes in and makes it out, scouting a path through the fire (and the bodies).

They all make it through the kitchen, getting closer to the engine room. And that’s when the water starts coming in.

Once again, they all make it through, and begin traversing the next obstacle: a narrow tunnel that leads to a ventilation shaft with a ladder. Also, Linda (Rogo’s wife) is wearing VERY TALL high heels as she climbs up the ladder. Lady. DROP THE SHOES!!!!

They continue to make it through the shaft...and then another explosion hits! We lose our first party member, as Acres loses his footing and falls. Rogo almost goes with him, and Nonnie’s paralyzed with fear until Martin helps her.

By the way, I realize that reading this might be a bit cumbersome, as there are a lot of names here. But when you WATCH the movie, all of these people are distinct enough that remembering them isn’t too bad. And now...there are even more people.

That’s right! There are more people, being led by the Ship’s Doctor (Jan Arvan)...in the wrong direction. They head towards the bow, towards the water, despite Scott’s warnings. Scott’s frustration, the loss of Acres, and Rogo’s stubbornness leads to a confrontation. This leads to Scott making a bet with Rogo. He’ll scout ahead for a path to the engine room, and if there isn’t one, they’ll also head toward the bow. Rogo agrees, and gives him 15 minutes. Scott leaves, with Susan Shelby (teenage sister, remember) following behind. The rest search for food and supplies in the rooms nearby.

To Scott’s great dismay, however, the main passage to the engine room is destroyed. With Susan’s help, they look for more passages, eventually finding a path covered in oil. The Rosens have their own heart-to-heart, with Belle resigned to death, and Manny clinging to hope. Martin and Nonnie go together, with Nonnie breaking down over her lost brother, and Martin comforting her as best he can. They eventually reconvene, with Scott returned from the engine room successfully. However...Robin is missing.

Scott goes back to get him...and that’s when the water comes back.

They all once again make it...but the water’s now flooded the passageway to the engine room. Scott takes a rope and tries to swim through the passageway, with the rope being used to guide everyone else through once he makes it. But, of course, he gets stuck when a metal sheet collapses on top of him. But that’s when a surprising ringer steps up to help.

Belle Rosen, the down-on-herself, most resigned-to-death member of the party, also happens to be a former swimming champion. She makes it through, and saves Scott from drowning...and has a heart attack in the process. She gives Scott a pendant for her grandson...and dies.

And that’s when I start tearing up. Fuck. I mean it, her death really got me. Talk about a heroic sacrifice.

Rogo goes to find them, and discovers that Belle’s gone. Scott tells him to get the others, without telling Manny what happened. But Manny figures it out, diving into the water. The rest follow, although Nonnie can’t swim. Martin tells her that he won’t go without her, and they go together. Manny’s the first to make it to the other side...and he sees Belle.

And that’s when I tear up again. FUCK.

Manny initially won’t leave Belle, and Scott pleas with him to come with. He asks to stay with her a little longer, and Scott relents. He gives Belle one last kiss...and goes to join the others. Thank God. I need Manny Rosen to live, goddammit. In fact...I really don’t want to lose anyone else.

A harrowing climb to the engine room takes place, and we reach the final door. And then, of course...an explosion.

Linda dies. Goddammit. And Rogo lashes out at Scott, blaming him for her death. But there’s no time for that now. Explosions cause a steam pipe to explode, blocking the exit, prompting Scott to do his own lashing out: at God. He jumps to open a valve for the rest, despite the hot steam. He screams at God to take him, instead of another of their lives. And in the process, he shuts off the steam...and his plea is answered in turn.

As Scott dies, he asks Rogo to get the rest through. But Rogo’s listless, not responding at all. Martin reams him out, rousing him again and getting him up to lead the survivors. 6 people left...and only 5 minutes of movie to go. They get to the thinnest part of the hull, where they hear scraping from the outside. They bang on the hull with pipes, and banging responds. A torch cuts through the hull...BUT IT’S NOT A TORCH, IT’S AN EXPLOSION AND EVERYBODY DIES

Kidding, of course, as they get rescued! And as they mourn their fallen, it’s discovered that these 6...are the only survivors. In the entire ship, these six were the only ones to make it out.

And THAT...is The Poseidon Adventure. FUCK TITANIC. See you in the Epilogue.

#the poseidon adventure #ronald neame #irwin allen #gene hackman #ernest borgnine #red buttons #carol lynley #shelly winters #roddy mcdowall #stella stevens #jack albertson #pamela sue martin #eric shea #leslie nielsen #disaster movie #user365 #mygifs #my gifs #action january

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nellie-dritz-official · 3 years

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Honestly when it comes to Steven Universe the most damning part of it (and the reason why I dropped it hard even before it went full-tilt "REDEEM THE DIAMONDS" and prior to the "ZOMG Rose is Pink Diamond!" reveal) is the fact that a solid year before the episode came out I wrote a fanfic that was functionally Storm in the Room (the episode where Steven goes into Rose's room and spends time with an imaginary version of her) expect because Gem-magic the version he talked to was real. Only where that episode gets bogged down in all the crap about the Gem War and Rose keeping secrets my "purely for a lark" fic simply let that premise be used to let Steven be a kid and have a moment of intimacy with a mom he never knew. And that reveals the show's problems in a nutshell- it focused too much on either the worst characters or chasing mysteries/"Lore" instead of exploring the characters and relationships people actually cared about.

As I said before, this show is the epitome of “tons of ideas, none of the execution except those few that Sugar felt was absolutely worthy of being shoved down your throat.”

#thehollyone

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carlottastudios · 4 years

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Why does my internal motivation seem to hate posting on Saturdays so much? But regardless, you guys ARE getting two posts this weekend! Hurray! Hopefully, these will lift your spirits at least a little during these nutsy times. Also, get ready for a long-ish description for this drawing because I feel it deserves it. This is a bit of a special sketch for me, not only because it features my current-favourite-ship-ever, but also because it was inspired by a certain song. A song which is basically KeithxZuri in a nutshell, and thus a song that I have personally dubbed “DA KEIRI SONG”. Yes, in all caps. Because I’m extra and because, seriously, it’s a beautifully fitting song. The song is, as you might’ve guessed from the title of this sketch, Shelter by Ray Lamontagne, but SPECIFICALLY, the cover version by Steven Yeun. And if that name rings a bell, THEN IT SHOULD! BECAUSE IT’S KEITH’S VOICE ACTOR! That’s right! The VA for half of this ship sang a beautiful cover of this song (not to mention played it on the guitar) (can I just take a moment to acknowledge the fact that Steven Yeun has the voice of an angel?) (oh, and I totally headcanon that Keith can play the guitar now!), this song which is beyond-a-doubt the theme song for this ship. Can you see now why I found this song so fitting that I had to make a drawing based off of it?!?! And why I hope to write a fanfic based on it too?!?! Now, given my huge-ass list of fanfic ideas, I can’t make any promises on the fanfic front, but I will try my darndest to write this one! And I will attempt to fill it with feels, hurt/comfort goodness and romantic softness out the wazoo! Now, I could end this description here, buuuuttt I wanna wax poetic a bit longer on why I find this song so damn fitting for my precious emo babus, as well as touch on why I drew them like this, soooooo I’m gonna! XD Firstly, I’m just quickly going to share the lyrics of the song to you guys so you all know what I’m talking about during my poetic waxing (also, here’s a link to the cover so you can fully appreciate Steven Yeun’s blessed rendition of this song: https://youtu.be/k6wDOi2HrsI): I guess you don’t need it I guess you don’t want me to repeat it But everything I have to give I give to you It’s not like we planned it You tried to stay but you could not stand it To see me shot down slow as though it wasn’t an easy thing to do Listen well All of this around us will fall over I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do You will shelter me, my love, and I will shelter you I will shelter you I left you heartbroken But not until those very words were spoken Has anybody ever made such a fool outta you? It’s hard to believe it Even as my eyes don’t perceive it The very things that make you live are killing you Listen well All of this around us will fall over I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do You will shelter me, my love, and I will shelter you I will shelter you Alright, so you all know this song now? Good! Now why is this song so fitting for keiri, you might be wondering if you weren’t one of those to whom I’ve rambled about keiri in private chats and therefor know more about this ship than most of my followers? Allow me to enlighten you!!! The song seems, at least in my interpretation, to be about a couple who’s facing difficulties, but that still love each other, and the narrator/singer affirms this love and this commitment and devotion they and the person they’re singing about/their partner have. It’s like the whole message of this song is “This isn’t going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it, and even if everything else goes to shit, I know you still love me and I sure as heck still love you, and that’s what matters”. At least, that’s how I interpret it, and I know it might not be the original intended meaning, but that’s the meaning I get from this song. And this message pretty much describes how Keith and Zuri get together in most of my headcanons, including my main headcanon, which is the storyline I would write if I were in charge of VLD and had to make it a show. See, Keiri isn’t a fast-burn romance. I wouldn’t call it a slow-burn either, because I’m a bit too impatient to make it a slow-burn (I prefer couples being together over the process of them getting together), but the point is that they don’t get together immediately. The biggest reason for that is because of their emotional baggage. Keith, as we know, has trust issues and fears getting rejected and hurt by people he cares about. Zuri, for her part, is still stuck in the grieving process for the many losses she went through in her life and she fears that, if she gets close to someone again, they’ll just end up dying in the war just like pretty much everyone she cared deeply about in her life until this point. Nonetheless, they end up forming a bond and grow to deeply care about each other. It gets to the point where Keith trusts Zuri, views her as a close friend and even likes the idea of being in an intimate relationship with her (it helps that, yes, he finds her attractive). On Zuri’s side, it’s much the same: she trusts Keith, she’s attracted to Keith, she enjoys his company, she finds that she’s closer to him than she is with anyone, and the idea of being in a relationship with him does appeal to her very much. But it also scares her. All of the things I just said about how she views Keith scares her. Because what if something happens to him? What if he gets injured or worse in the war? What if it claims his life as well as the lives of everyone else she’s opened her heart to? Then all the pain of loss that she’s been trying to numb herself to and supress all these years will come crashing back, maybe even worse than before! So, even as she and Keith grow closer throughout their “courtship” period, she’s trying the whole time to keep a distance between them, to subtly push Keith away, to prevent him from getting too close, to keep from letting him in entirely. But Keith realizes what she’s doing. I mean, it’s hard for him not to: it’s what he’s been doing for years. And he knows first-hand how lonely and sad this kind of self-isolation feels, not to mention how unhealthy it is! BTW: I just want to note that, at this time, he’s forming closer bonds with the other paladins and getting a truly supportive found-family/support system, even though all that stuff with the BoM is still on his mind. I just wanted to say that he is in a better headspace by now. Still not perfect, but better than at the start of the show. So, yeah, he recognizes what Zuri’s trying to do and he knows that it’s not okay. So, he confronts her about it, which does get her to reveal what she’s going through and to admit that, yes, she’s been trying to push him (and the other paladins, I might add) away because she’s so terrified of the pain that losing him (and them) will cause her. And Keith is understanding, but also more determined than ever. He lets her know that he understands why she’s doing this, to avoid pain, but it’s going to cause more harm than good and it’s just going to hurt her in the long-run and he doesn’t want her to go through that hurt. He understands that she’s scared and that she has reason to be scared (they are fighting a war, after all) and that, honestly, he’s scared of losing his loved ones too. Hell, he did lose a loved one, his father, years ago, and it does still pain him. But that doesn’t make him wish he’d never loved his father. Similarly, his fear of losing the paladins doesn’t make him love them any less, and his fear of losing Zuri doesn’t make him not love her. It just makes him want to make the very most of his time with her. He tells her that he’s there for her, that no matter what she does, he’s not going to stop caring about her, and he knows that she cares about him too. He doesn’t push this part too much, though, thankfully. He respects Zuri too much to try coaxing her into the relationship that, let’s face it, they both know she wants. He’s ready and willing to be with her, but only if she is. It’s got to be mutual and, if she decides that she just isn’t ready to face her fear or that loving him is worth the pain that it could bring, he’ll be sad as hell but he’ll respect that. Thankfully, though, Zuri, after given a bit of time to think it over, does choose to stop living in fear and letting it cause her so much internalized and supressed heartache and misery and loneliness. So, even though it scares the shit out of her, she confesses her feelings for Keith and they finally get together. Of course, they still have their own issues and their problems don’t go away with them getting into a relationship. But the fact that they’ve found someone they can be open with, someone who they know will support them and love them throughout all of the trials life can offer, does make things easier. They are each other’s shelter in the storm of life, so to speak: not making the storm go away, but making it easier to bear as they get through it. And that, kids, is why I effin’ love my ship and why this song (particularly this version of the song) is their theme song! Also, I think that’s a long enough description for you! If you read the whole thing, you earn a gold star and a cookie! REFERENCES: None to be had except the character designs! DISCLAIMERS: Voltron: Legendary Defender © DreamWorks & World Events Productions Zuri © me this drawing © me

#Behold My Beautiful Little Brain Child (my original post)#Chicken Scratch Brain Child (my art)#Safe In My Space Pocket (voltron legendary defender)#Beloved Mullet Boi (VLD: keith)#My Damaged Galra Daughter (VLD: OC: zuri)#My Beloved Mullet Damaged Galra Chilron (VLD: keiri / keith x zuri)

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justamomwithacomputer · 4 years

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You think wedding planning is hard? Try doing it in the middle of a world pandemic, and an old fashion family feud.

Going to the chapel, and going to get married.

My daughter is getting married. Her Fiancé and her have been engaged since summer of 2018. They are a smart young couple who have all their ducks in a row. Both have good jobs, dept. free (less a small amount of School loans) and have a nice little nest egg of savings to buy a house. They have traveled, had many adventures across the globe. They were engaged in Barcelona, and this doesn’t even touch the list of places they have traveled together. The love life and live it to the fullest each and every day. Even if it’s a walk on the boardwalk, or down to the local coffee shop, a nice lunch or bar for a cocktail. They enjoy staying in and cooking new things, try new recipes and live a very healthy lifestyle. They love the Lakers, and very rarely miss watching a game. Even if not televised on their network of stations, they find a place to go watch. (when they are playing)

Better to vent on paper, than react with killing people.

Now to bring you to the reason I am writing this all out on paper. My daughter is so excited to be part of this big wonderful Family, and we are so happy to welcome her Fiancé’ into our family. This young couple have been together for over 5 years, and have been planning their wedding for over a year and a half. So Covid-19 has really set the Bride/Groom (everyone involved really) into a whirlwind of emotions, uncertainties and sometimes anger! They asked themselves, are we going to be able to get married, do we have to postpone, cancel, move venues…. Nightmare Right!? Some might think….. just postpone? Well as you can tell a little about them by the beginning of this, they have a plan. The plan does not include postponing the wedding. So as if a world Pandemic wasn’t enough, we have two dueling Mothers…. Hold on, not the Mother of the Bride, but the Mother (MOG) and Step Mother of the Groom (SMOG) acting like complete selfish, hateful and rude bitches! (sorry, I didn’t mention groom is from a split family). The two between each other don’t have a lot of communications, aside from a couple late night drunk text messages (from what MOG/SMOG have both shared), and just nasty words transmitted through other parties involved. My daughter has tried to remain neutral and have relationships with both, as they will soon be her family. She has a stronger relationship with one than the other, but that is based on the relationship her soon to be husband has with each. Oh boy… to put it in a nutshell… these women have found a way to feud and put my daughter in the middle, along with many other victims. My daughter has been used in a tug of war game between the two. Mostly with assumption about how much one or the other is involved in the planning of the wedding, and even their assumption of my involvement has been miscued. My daughter and soon to be son in law are very non-traditional and know their own vibe. My daughter is very lucky to have a hands of fiancé that has helped plan and make decisions of what their wedding will look like. So in all they have planned their entire wedding. (Keep in mind throughout this writing, that the parents of the Bride are paying the majority of the bill, with exceptions of a small cost of some rental furniture the FOG agreed to pay. The Bride and Groom have also taken on the complete Bar, and many other small things as well). So to continue, there have been so many snarling comments from both MOG and SMOG that have been said to my daughter, things that are so unbelievably petty. As petty as they are at times, its abuse and becomes quite hurtful. I just ask myself why? Why do these grown women treat my daughter so poorly? My daughter is educated, has a BA, earned her teaching credentials and is working on her Masters. She holds a full time job earning a good salary. She is beautiful, kind and generous with her time and sometimes goes above to keep the peace. Some might even be thinking; why would she still want to be part of this family. Aside from the fact there are so many more amazing people in the family other than the MOG & SMOG, and of course the love she has for her soon to be husband, and the fact that he has stood by her side, one would of “taken the high road” (inside joke).

A little to help you understand, or it will just seem unreal?

Back story…. Well, I won’t claim to know all the details, and don’t want to tell another women’s story. Besides I have heard a little of both sides, and they don’t coincide. Anyhow, I digress. MOG was married to Father of Groom (FOG)…. And one day she found out FOG was having a baby with the now SMOG. Now to clarify, the MOG and FOG were not divorce, but MOG thought (from how her story goes) she was a happily married with two young boys. (like 6 and 1.5 young). Fast forward 28 or more years later, the son is getting married to my daughter. I’m sure it didn’t seem fast forward for all parties involved, but I wasn’t there. I have heard stories from both women, and some a little crazy and neither paint a pretty picture of each other. Hi I’m the Mother of the Bride… I’ve stayed neutral, stayed out of the drama and allowed my daughter to guide herself throw these rocky waters. After all, she is the one marrying into this family. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% here for my daughter, I support her, give her advice and sometimes just hold her while she cries. Believe me when I say there have been times when I want to get in my car with a bat (and go play softball) or pick up phone and tell one of these ladies off. However, my daughter is strong, smart and can handle herself.

This is where most of the fun begins.

These past two weeks have been a complete nightmare and a tale no one would believe unless it was in writing. In the middle of a pandemic, we have riots and protest that engulf our lives. Police buildings being burnt down, looting, fighting and complete KAOS has taken over the world. Don’t get me wrong, changes need to be made and I am not saying the protesting is wrong, it just added a little more stress to a world that is already upside down with this COVID-19. Not to even mention that USA is in the middle of an Election year. This is just KAOS on top of KAOS, On top of KAOS…. And then you add the MOG & SMOG and it all seems a little un-real!

From the Start of the current storm.

Rewind about two weeks, and started with a little squabble between family (FOG side). SMOG went deep and attacked Brother of Groom, and then attacked a cousin and then continued to drag MOG through the mud with accounts that took place 25+ years ago? I mean, my personal opinion, you sleep with another women’s husband, and wreck a household, you may have some consequences throughout your time. Anyhow it came down to SMOG texting (not even a decent in person or very least pick up the phone) an apology. My daughter let her know she accepts apology, but included how hurt she was that she was acting so hateful to the people she loves, and how it really has effected so many. She added that she should get some help. Well holy moly did that go off wrong!!! SMOG came back with the a nasty, hateful Crazy effing text back! Asking what help was she recommending. Well my daughter is young, maybe a little naive to recognizing when a bomb is about to explode replied “you need to ask yourself that question”. After all anyone that would be so hateful, nasty and treat other people the way she had the previous couple days needs some kind of help. POW POW…. Did that set off whatever unbalanced brain we are working with. SMOG came back asking my daughter where she got her Dr. degree and how she shouldn’t be giving advice she wasn’t qualified to give. She added how wonderful of a SMOG she had been, and listed all her accolades of being a mother. Most of which as mothers we all do. I’m talking PTA, Volunteer positions at kid’s schools, taking to routine dr. and dentist along with toting them to all the extra activities kids participate in. So really just a bunch of noise, in addition to the continued bashing of the MOG. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the last comment she made attacking my daughter. She said that the only thig my daughter was worried about was this wedding, and to quote her “you don’t seem to care about much outside your white privileged wedding”. Now that hit home a little funny because this wedding is not your Country club, spare no expense kind of wedding. We have had to create a strict budget, and cut corners and find ways to have the dream wedding. Yes, we are fortunate not to have run to Las Vegas or have a courthouse wedding, but definitely not a “White Privileged wedding”. With all going on, we had to ask ourselves if SMOG learned a new saying amongst all the protest and riots. (ha ha). Anyhow… that was funny, but incredible mean and hateful. Some can already guess where this is going with upcoming wedding, if not let me illiterate. This was quickly finding SMOG on the un-invited list. My daughters’ Fiancé got on phone and called his dad to find out what the heck was going on. Not to share confidential information, the outcome was she would not come to the upcoming Bridal Shower and they would work day to day to see if she would be an invited guest at wedding.

Bridal Shower planning

My daughter has a large squad of friends who are amazing, and she has very special friendships with so many young ladies who she has met throughout her adolescent years, throughout her college and now profession life. Many live out of state, and one even out of the country. None local to host a bridal shower, so as the MOB I of course wanted my daughter to have an amazing shower, where we could come together and celebrate my girl. Her Maid of Honor (MOH) who lives just a couple states away co-host with me and we worked together to have a “Garden” themed Bridal Shower at my house.

The Upcoming is here, enter the “Garden” with caution.

All is well, aside from FOG calling to have my daughter and his son reconsider having the SMOG at the shower. Now, I was angry about her treatment of my daughter, it wasn’t about me banning her from the event. It was the Bride & Groom who felt strong about not having her amongst MOG, mothers of others she had bashed and Grandmothers who also saw all the text, and hate messages she had rocket launched into the world wide world of text messages. They thought it just might be best not to mix them, and not add fuel to the fire. In many ways they made the right call, because your soon to find out that with the MOG, and many family members from FOG side mixed was enough toxic energy to blow up a city block. In all fairness, I must add that the FOG guest were on best behavior and I do not have any complaints. Also I can understand how having to be in a space with ex-family would be stressful, but honestly after 28 years? Well the MOG had her group of ladies rallied around, this group included friends and some aunts. MOG brought tons of Champagne, and wine and they all sat and pretty much got hammered. It got raunchy and the group acted like it was a bachelorette party. They disengaged during games and acted like school aged brats. While my daughter was opening up Shower gifts and trying to be graceful, they were in the back laughing, talking very loud. Taking pictures and totally oblivious to the fact they were indeed at a “Garden”/My daughter Bridal Shower. I applaud my daughter for keeping her composure, and keeping it classy. She even called her soon to be Mother in Law (MIL) over when she was opening her gift to break up the frenzy that was taking place. This was not a success; she went back to her own personal party within my daughter’s shower. Soon the presents were open, and this pretty much meant the end of event. ALAJUELA ONE MIGHT BE THINGKING AT THIS POINT! Even though this is supposed to be a joyous event. Some quest had left, and some remained to just sit and talk. Well like a light switch, MOB was louder, flashing her legs up in air signally somehow towards the table that included some of the FOG family. My daughter walked over and asked her future MIL to sit down, and maybe drink some water. I guess at this point you can guess my daughter is pretty good at lighting the bomb! MOG went from crazy, to hysteria, slamming, pouring of wine on tables, crying to wanting to get behind the wheel and drive away. Couple of her squad joined in, added to the madness…. It was basically an effing shit show!

Back paddle for just a minute

Towards end of the shower, three of the most important men came home from golfing. The shower was a good excuse to get out of dodge, but they didn’t stay gone long enough. My husband, my son and soon to be SIL arrived on time to witness the behavior of grown women acting like Sorority girls gone bad. It was good and bad they came back a little early. Good because they would not have believed it unless seen for themselves. Bad because my SIL is so embarrassed by the poor behavior of his Mother and her friends/Aunts.

Back to the Garden

During MOG tyrant of throwing ice buckets and stomping out while giving the bird, she insisted she was going to drive home. Many others (I stayed clear) tried to calm her down, and talk sense into MOG. She tried shoving another guest and continued to yell and scream. My stern husband finally put his foot down and made MOG get into back seat and my husband ended up having to drive the MOG, her Trashy friend and poor sweet Grandma home. My husband is good at deescalating a situation, and defiantly shows who the bigger person is to put himself in that situation. In addition to the entire cost of Bridal Shower being on the Bride’s family, now my husband had to add additional expense to get home via Uber.

Was that all real?

Unbelievable right? I left so much out.. but this is only a short blog to vent and get this all out of my head! After all was calm, we started cleaning up. We stacked all the beautiful flower on one table, picked up trash, glasses. You know, all the regular stuff. Small group of mostly my family and some of my girlfriends remained, and we indulged in a couple more drinks and ate some of the leftover food from shower. We basically were kicking back having some relax time, played some corn hole, lit a small fire for one spoiled niece to make s’mores over. Over all just a nice, change it up a little relax time. Ended up picking up a couple pizzas and then ended the evening early. We were all so exhausted, it was time to call it.

Little did we know

Little did we all know, the entire evening and after my daughter and her fiancé left the madness continued. My soon to be SIL was getting rage texts from his mother. I guess they were pretty bad, mean and hateful. I don’t even want to know the details, because it would hurt my heart.

Hmmm…. What are you thinking about the Bride & Groom?

So maybe you’re thinking what kind of people the Bride and Groom are to be treated so poorly by these women in their lives? The Groom grew up in a split home, going back and forth between Mom and Dads. Again I only know what I have been told by conflicting people, but been around long enough to know that this young man is strong, determined, independent, kind and is always doing the right thing. I mean doing right thing as always wishing his Step mom happy mother’s day, making sure he’s dividing his time between families, basically showing up to be part of a family regardless of circumstances. As for his older brother, he checked out long ago. Older brother shows up when he can’t get out of it, like Christmas dinner etc. It appears both boys have a better relationship with their own mom, and that tells a tale all in itself. I’m sure older brother who was about 6-7 years old when the home was split, must be a little angrier towards the Step Mom. Older brother is successful, independent and lives further away than my daughter and fiancé. My daughter in which I described earlier is a very loving and kind young lady. As her parent, she has never given us any grief. Her fiancé and herself are ones who would rather avoid drama or any kind of atomicity and often pacify to keep everyone happy. So bottom line, they are good people who do not deserve what they have been given during this already difficult time planning wedding during Covid19, protests, riots, looting and election year.

It started off romantic

In the Summer of 2019 my then daughter’s boyfriend asked my husband and I if he could ask our daughter to marry him. We were ecstatic, and absolutely gave our blessing. He had purchased a beautiful, sparkly and a fair size diamond ring. As I mentioned before they had a trip, to Barcelona. This is where he popped the question. The planning began, they had their vision and it was coming along great. I didn’t have to do much, as they were doing it all. It was kind of a relief, and knew that my daughter was being smart and planning a with a budget that met what we could afford. It was going to be in a beautiful Garden venue close to the Ocean. They had lined up all the vendors for the food, lighting, the rustic wood tables, DJ, Dessert bar, Bar tender, flowers, it was a beautifully planned wedding. Then along came COVID-19.

Four Months until wedding

So four months out, we had a lot of hope and were optimistic that COVID-19 wouldn’t cancel their dream wedding. COVID-19 peaked, and was appearing to ease. Stores, we’re opening and it appeared we were progressing. Stage 1, then stage two and then 1 month before wedding we were entering stage 3 in additional stages and requirements. It was looking good, reports showed religious ceremonies a go, restaurants a go, bars open. All looks good for a wedding! It was just about now, at the one month that the SMOG started the Family Feud. Funny thing was, my Future SIL, his Step Mom, Brother, Cousin and sister had just aired on the game show “Family Feud”. Anyhow… 1 month and all the drama with SMOG, this is one-week shy of Bridal Shower, and we all know how that went down. We are now at 3 weeks out and venue says, hold your brakes! They now can only have 75 people for a wedding, and no reception. Went from 207 guest invited, due to covid and traveling across US borders and some of the guest that are higher at risk as elders or have underlining conditions opted out. We were at a solid 150. How do we cut this in half? What about the reception, that’s the fun part where we get to celebrate the Bride and Groom?

This brings us to today 6-22-2020

So with only 75 people allowed, we are looking for a restaurant or venue to accommodate at least 100 people for a dinner or a small reception. Original Garden venue also wants to charge $2000 for just a 75 person wedding? Little steep in comparison to what we were getting before. So we are at the starting line, trying to figure this out in a three-week time.

My final thoughts

I want my daughter to have the most beautiful wedding she can possibly have under the current conditions. We have thousands of dollars already invested in vases, votive candles, napkins, venue, caterer, photographer, and all the furniture and lighting vendors, the dessert table… and so on. It must make sense, and not steer to far from her vision or the budget. I suggested a “Backyard” wedding, which I know sounds trashy. I have a pretty large size backyard, and it’s a blank slate for however her vision can transform it into. It can hold 100-120 and they could utilize all the items that are already paid for and they wouldn’t go to waste. My brother had his reception here 22 years ago, and we could make this backyard wedding look like a tropical garden in the middle of our City if she wants. Believe me, I don’t want it at my home. It would be a lot of work! We are already exhausted from all the drama and just wish this damn Covid-19 would go away and stop interfering. Just pray for my daughter and her soon to be husband, pray that they find a new venue that fits the vision they both have. They will soon learn that marriage is hard, and it takes sacrifices, and compromising to make it last as long as my husband and my marriage has. We will be celebrating 30 years next May. COVID-19 may stop these two youngsters from taking a honeymoon until next year, maybe we can do a 2ndhoneymoon with their first! LOL

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caitsbooks · 5 years

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The Storm Crow by Elizabeth Lim - Actually Good Mental Health Representation In Fantasy?! (ARC Review)

*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions in this review are my own.* Quick Stats: Overall: 4/5 Stars Characters: 4/5 Setting: 5/5 Writing: 5/5 Plot and Themes: 4/5 Awesomeness Factor: 4.5/5 Review in a Nutshell: The Storm Crow is a great start to what will definitely be a magical and amazing fantasy series.

"It’s difficult to walk against the wind. It takes strength.”

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// Content Warning: Violence, Death, Depression, Self Harm, Animal Death, War Themes, Mental Illness, PTSD //

- Premise -

The Storm Crow follows Princess Anthia, whose kingdom was attacked by the Illucian empire. The attack was brutal, killing her mother, the queen of Rhodaire, and killing all of the magical Crows her kingdom relies on. With her sister, Caliza, now on the throne, focusing on Rhodaire’s future, Thia can only think of the past and what was lost. When the threat of war becomes too much, Caliza has no choice but to marry Thia off to the Illucian prince, Ericen. But before Thia can be whisked away, she finds the one thing that can offer hope to her kingdom. A Crow egg.

"Gone was the world I knew, and I’d let it be taken.”

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- Writing & Setting-

I really love the world this book built. Kalyn Josephson clearly spent a lot of time developing each kingdom mentioned in The Storm Crow. They all have such unique cultures and politics, some of which is only ever hinted at. I really hope the sequel continues to shine a lot on each fascinating kingdom. I also am really excited to learn more about the magic in this world (and, of course, the Crows)(I really want my own Crow now). The writing itself is also really good. It’s easy to jump in to, and accessible for anyone new to fantasy.

- Plot -

I have to admit,the beginning of this book is a little slow. It took me a good hundred pages to really be immersed in the story, but once I got to that point, I just wanted to keep reading. There’s a lot of world-building and character set up in the first few chapters, but it’s so worth pushing past that!

"I knew what I needed to do, but working up the will to do it felt like trying to fight my way above water in a depthless ocean. It was so hard not to drown.”

- Characters -

The characters are really where this book shines. First off- Thia. I really loved her. The one thing about her (and this book as a whole) that stood out was her depression. Kalyn Josephson does not shy away from depicting the reality of living with depression. She wrote it so well that I had to step away from it a few times. Thia’s depression is very accurate, and definitely hit home for me. It made me so happy to see a YA protagonist with a very real mental illness, and still be the awesome heroine we’re so used to seeing. The other stand out character was Ericen. I’m definitely a sucker for the bad-boy-with-backstory type, so I should have predicted that I would love him. I really enjoyed how complex of a character he was, and I’m so excited to see more of him.Also, a little side note that I wanted to mention- there are so many LGBTQ+ side characters!!! As for relationships-- I really adored the friendships in this book. It’s rare to see such a strong female friendship in YA, but this book definitely had that going for it. However, the romance plot line seemed weak. I felt like Thia had way more chemistry with some of the other characters than she did with her love interest. But maybe I’m biased.

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"The lion fears only the fox.”

- Conclusion -

Pros- Very well written mental health representation, the Crows, great characters & setting Cons- The romance felt forced Overall- 4/5 stars. The Storm Crow is a great debut that will have you dreaming of having your own Crow. I know I will be. *All quotes are taken from the ARC and are subject to change*

#the storm crow #arc review #book review #kalyn josephson #book #tsc #books #booklr #bookblr #bookish #bookstagram #review

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 6 “Alone In The Woods”

I stan one grandma and one silver-eyed warrior.

Seriously though. Ruby and Maria were the MVPs of this episode and one of the things I want to emphasize going into this recap—right here, right now—is that the Brunswick grimm didn’t create the feelings of hopelessness and inevitability that the girls are fighting against, they enhanced it. To a staggering degree, yes, but these feelings aren’t just coming out of nowhere and I think it would be a mistake to go, “See! All this negativity regarding the mission was just a result of The Apathy. They’ll be fine now that they’re away from the farm.” They’ll be better, but I don’t think they’ll be fine. We saw hints of the girls’ dwindling hope before the farm and we get one clear hint of it after they’ve left. More significantly, we can see a correlation between how much The Apathy affected them and how hopeful the character is outside of its influence. Basically, in descending order we’ve got:

Maria

Ruby

Oscar

Weiss

Yang/Blake

Qrow

Ozpin (currently)

I’ll be spending a fair bit of this recap pointing out moments where we see these differences between the characters because it’s an excellent writing tool. Here we have a literal event also functioning as a metaphor, in which The Apathy’s power allows us to witness an over-the-top display of the characters’ feelings; an overt summary of where everyone is at right now. And though these feelings will no doubt become more nuanced now that they’re away from the farm, they certainly haven’t disappeared.

But let’s start at the beginning.

We open with a shot of the moon, which has so much more significance now that we know Remnant’s history. I mean there’s a whole lot of philosophical and symbolic stuff we could delve into—Humanity is broken! Scattered! It needs to be made whole and/or we need accept that the moon is still a good moon even if we can’t make it ‘perfect’!—but honestly I just see it, think of the Gods, and mentally go, “You bastards.”

As people already pointed out when we got the sneak peek, Ruby is separating herself from the group while everyone else sits close together: her team huddled shoulder to shoulder as Oscar and Maria fill the rest of the room. Qrow is obviously separating himself too, though it says a lot about her thought process that when Ruby reminds him that he can talk to her and Yang, that advice doesn’t extend to herself. We don’t see Ruby seeking out the physical comfort of her team and we certainly don’t see her voicing her fears—biting off complaints in front of Weiss was a perfect example. Ruby is great at pinpointing what other people need without attributing the same things to herself. Because she’s the young prodigy. She’s team leader. She’s the one with silver eyes. Regardless of what aspect of her personality you pick out, Ruby is always the one with responsibility on her shoulders and therefore the one who can’t afford to break. We see a lot of that in this episode.

Qrow has moved onto a whole bottle now and stares morosely out the window. He notes that the storm is lessening and that they’ll be able to leave at sunrise. Ruby says that’s good and Qrow follows it with a, “No. I don’t have a good feeling about this place. Especially with me around.” This exchange is their current relationship in a nutshell: Ruby finds the silver lining, Qrow immediately shuts her down. And of course it all comes back to self-loathing. It might look like things are getting better, but remember that I’m here. So no, they won’t stay good for long.

What’s perhaps most aggravating is the continued cruelty that worms its way into Qrow’s pessimism. He doesn’t just give a fake smile and assure Ruby he’s fine, like many other characters would. He rolls his eyes at her concern and gives a sarcastic “Suuuure.” Qrow doesn’t just reject Ruby’s support, he finds it stupid. That response was very much a, Really? You want to know if I’m okay? Don’t ask stupid questions, kid—which is a kind of personal attack that Ruby doesn’t deserve, in the same way Oscar didn’t deserve to have his identity rejected just because Qrow is struggling with his own.

Keep in mind that throughout all of this I’m still aware that The Apathy is impacting their mood. But as said at the beginning, all these emotions are real. Qrow doesn’t get a free pass for his attitude just because The Apathy is making it easier for him to act on the way he feels.

Meanwhile, Maria’s bedtime story is a series of diaries and damn, that woman reads fast! She’s already on volume three by the time everyone comes back inside and she’s learned plenty about how difficult it was for people to build here. Blight, expenses, cold… and yes, grimm. It was by no means an easy settlement. And though it’s just a small line thrown into a larger explanation, I’m interested in the fact that these people apparently wanted to live on their own despite so many difficulties. We don’t hear much about those outside of the Kingdoms—with the exception of Blake’s history—and that this group would weather all this hardship for the chance to live independently says a lot about how not everyone is happy with the system Ozpin set up after the Great War.

Ruby interrupts Maria’s story to announce that “Qrow said we should get some sleep.” Notably not Uncle Qrow. Everyone immediately stands with the exception of Maria who has the best reaction, delivering in a caustic voice:

“The last thing you’ll catch me doing is letting some kid tell me what to do!”

There’s nothing I don’t love about this line. This is how you have a truly compassionate character vent their frustration. Because no matter Maria’s beef with Qrow (and boy, is she justified in it), the suggestion to sleep is objectively a good one. They fought grimm, got into a train crash, witnessed the Saddest Story Ever, beat up on their former headmaster, trudged who knows how far in the snow, found a creepy town, found some dead bodies, and just had emotional conversations with their besties. Sleep is so freaking necessary right now… but Maria doesn’t want to acknowledge that because it’s Qrow giving the order. The difference between her mini tantrum and the others’ we’ve seen? Maria’s doesn’t put anyone in danger. It’s not Yang refusing to move in a grimm-infested forrest until she gets the answers she wants. It’s not Qrow punching a sobbing man in a child’s body. Maria vents, but does so in a way that only impacts herself. I might be tired come morning, but it’s not going to hurt any of you if I stay up longer with this book.

Plus she calls Qrow a kid. Valid. Compare how Maria acts around Qrow to how she acts around Ruby. For Maria, literal age isn’t important. Qrow might technically be the other adult here, but he sure as hell isn’t acting like it. Ruby might be the second youngest, but she’s handling things like a champ. Only one of them is the “kid” in this situation.

“Go to bed,” Maria mimics, playing the roll of a child herself. Though again, in a way that hurts no one. Qrow isn’t even in the room to hear her. Ruby realizes all this and smiles—one of the first genuine ones we’ve seen since the beginning of this Volume. Maria is funny like this and yeah, at least some of that reaction was probably deliberate. She wants Ruby to hear her playfully mocking her uncle and loosen up a bit.

The camera turns towards the fire and we get a quick cut to hours later where it’s burned out completely. The morning light shines through the window. Well, color me surprised. Given the horror tropes last time I fully expected the girls to wake up (or start dreaming) in the dead of night, but in some ways it’s creepier for everything to go down on a bright, sunny morning. They live in a world with literal monsters. A bit of daylight isn’t going to save you.

At least everyone was smart enough to sleep in the same room together. With the exception of Qrow, but he already went off by himself after telling everyone else to stay in pairs. Dude, you’re so lucky you didn’t die this episode.

Sometime during the night Qrow found two more bottles that he emptied before passing out and when the last finally slips from his fingers it shatters, startling the hell out of Ruby. Here we get our first glimpse of how she’s able to resist The Apathy, how much more hope and determination she has than everyone else in her group—Ruby literally isn’t as tired. Not only did the bottle not wake anyone else up, her yell didn’t either. These are trained fighters suffering from PTSD who are entirely devoted to one another, and your leader’s scream doesn’t rouse you? After a whole night in this place the rest of the team is in deep.

We see quickly though that this isn’t the kind of cursed sleep that some of the fandom thought we might get. Everyone can wake up, it’s just extraordinarily hard. Weiss complains about Ruby opening the window curtains and Qrow tells her to leave him alone. When he doesn’t stir after that we finally see some of the anger Ruby is housing. She snatches another one of the bottles and hurls it against the wall. That wakes Qrow up fast.

Her frustration immediately gives way to concern though—another reason why I think she would have reached out a hand to Ozpin if she’d been given a chance. We get her reminder that Qrow can talk to them and Ruby moves in for a hug.

Thus begins a theme this episode of Qrow rejecting physical affection. Here he lets Ruby hug him, but gives only the most perfunctory pat on her back and then immediately pulls away. We see it again in the cellar when Ruby is legit screaming about how they need to get out of there and Qrow’s only reaction is a, “Hey! Get off me!” He focuses on the unwanted touch and keeps struggling in their grip up until he spots The Apathy burning in the doorway.

Now granted, there’s a lot of other things at play here, but it doesn’t surprise me that one of them is Qrow’s discomfort with, not just compassion, but physical compassion. After all, his semblance has a radius. We see during the fight with Tyrian that the kids can stand a few feet away from them, but they shouldn’t “come any closer.” Once Ruby does, she’s nearly brained by a falling beam. Those who are literally close to Qrow are the ones who get caught up in his semblance. During times of peace when things are looking up? He gives in, letting Ruby hang off his arm or sitting close to everyone at the Haven house. Now though? After Jinn’s vision? Qrow doesn’t just think he’s undeserving of comfort, he shies away from the physical proximity that comfort is usually delivered through. He’s cursed and he’ll be damned if he lets anyone get close to him—figuratively or literally.

It’s also worth pointing out that most of this shot takes place through the window. This technique can mean a lot of things in television and cinema, including evoking the feeling of peeking in on a private moment (think Rear Window), using the frame to divide people (you’re on one side of the line, I’m on the other), creating a sense of balance (or lack thereof), and producing a feeling of distance—for both the viewer and the characters.

Ruby and Qrow might be together in this shot, but the frame is no longer balanced. Their expressions are hidden from us, there’s height to make them appear small, and there’s even a bit of a Dutch Angle, usually used to show unease; that the world is suddenly confusing and off kilter. In short, Ruby is trying to offer that comfort and the cinematography is doing everything it can to tell us that it’s not working.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Qrow says, which is at least something they can all agree on.

And then. Then! Oscar being treated like a human being!!

Oh this did my heart good to see. His interaction with Blake was short, but filled with excellence. That right there was a true early morning sibling exchange.

I don’t wanna do work.

Me neither. I want food.

YES. Wait. Are YOU going to make the food?

…No.

alkdjdakhfadihfg.

Thank god. Keep this up. Let them push back against Qrow’s belief that Oscar isn’t his own person with simple, everyday interaction. Let him worm even deeper into their lives so that the next time someone suggests that Oscar doesn’t have his own, intrinsic value he’s got four big sisters ready to stand up for him.

Connected to this, I also love everyone screaming for him while running from The Apathy. No one abandoned Oscar in their own fear. They had faith that he’d be ready to take them out of there.

They remembered he has a name.

Good shit, good shit.

So everyone gets the flatbed and bike ready, but when Qrow puts his foot up on it one of the tires blows. Nice callback to the broken coffee table. Of course, rather than tackling the new problem—Ruby: “It’s just a flat tire. I’m sure there’s a spare”—Qrow gives up. Remember, he’s both the one with the least hope in their mission and by extension the one most swayed by The Apathy. One minor setback and he’s ready to just stay there, despite his earlier desire to get the hell out of dodge. Qrow plops himself down in the snow and starts drinking again.

Maria, please talk some sense into him.

Not that Qrow would listen to her, especially after she makes the comment that they’re all “beacons for bad luck.” (Oooh nice contrast to our Beacon (school) of hope.) It’s a nice reminder that yeah, Maria might have gotten an info dump on Remnant’s history, but she doesn’t know anything else about this group, including the fact that Qrow actually has a bad luck semblance. She’s already watched a movie of humanity’s greatest secrets. Someone should really fill her in on the rest.

That comment sparks the conversation that we all knew was coming. Yes, we can clearly see The Apathy at work here… but we can also see who has the determination to fight it. Yang says that it seems like the universe doesn’t want them to make it to Atlas, the same kind of twisted logic we’ve seen from her for the last two volumes. She knows she can’t trust Raven, but believes her anyway. She knows she agreed to deliberately separate from the train, but then acts like this is some kind of spiteful karma. She knows something as simple as a snowstorm in, you know, winter isn’t a sign that their mission is impossible… but she’s going to turn it into a sign when she wants to justify giving up. Yang is very good at taking innocuous things and/or things she originally agreed to and then using them as “evidence” when she feels like it. Like agreeing to a career that’s all about risking their lives and then going, “Actually if we’re risking our lives there should be payment in the form of secrets.”

That’s what Blake latches onto next. She bemoans the fact that they always have to fight to get by and Ruby and I both go, “????”

Ruby: “Yeah, but that’s what we signed up for.”

Thank you! Yes, that is exactly what you signed up for and, The Apathy’s influence aside, no one is willing to acknowledge that. You signed up for a hard life. You signed up for battle, but only Ruby both recognizes and admits to that choice. The Apathy’s extreme influence helps us see that these girls still haven’t found new motivations since Mountain Glenn. In their minds they didn’t sign up for this kind of hardship because they saw being huntsmen as a track towards adventure (Yang), recognition (Weiss), and an escape from a previous life (Blake). Without that ethical drive, experiencing the dark side of their careers—like the Fall of Beacon—really kind of broke them. In that way they’re still kids, told by adults and the rest of society that the thing they’re so excited to do will be hard, and they claim they understand this… but are then surprised when, shock, it actually turns out to be hard.

Oscar has a slightly different view. He actually didn’t sign up for this, so he points out that they’re supposed to “save the world. Not just delay the inevitable.” Ignoring for the moment that Salem’s victory is in no way inevitable (that’s the Raven in you talking), Oscar doesn’t even have the guilt of knowing that he chose helping people as his career to push him forward. Some bullshit magic chose him specifically to “save the world” and now everyone thinks that’s impossible, so why exactly am I here again?

It says a ton about his personality then that Oscar, despite having the most objectively justifiable reason to give up, is one of the more tentative in his complaints. After that line he doesn’t gang up on Ruby like her team does, pressuring her to give up like the rest of them. He also immediately does as Qrow asks and sets about finding a new tire, even though The Apathy and his own apparent uselessness should convince him to just sit there—like Qrow is. But Oscar keeps going. We’re seeing glimmer after glimmer of how he’s a “like minded soul” to Ozpin. Both keep getting up no matter how many times they’re knocked down.

Ozpin, of course, is also worth acknowledging here. We don’t know if he can hear/see everything that’s going on that deep in Oscar’s mind, but even if he can his self-loathing is currently even worse than Qrow’s. Combine that with The Apathy’s influence and it’s absolutely no surprise to me that he never makes an appearance. (To say nothing of the fact that the plot isn’t ready for him to come back yet.) Though it goes against his core characterization, Ozpin is currently the least hopeful of the lot. Ruby is holding them all together until he re-discovers his own convictions.

But boy, is it hard. I wasn’t kidding about the other girls ganging up on her. They’re pressuring Ruby to give in to them through both words and by physically invading her space. That balance in the frame we were talking about? Two cuts show us that it doesn’t exist: everyone is on one side and Ruby stands alone on the other. It’s hard to stand up to that kind of peer pressure in general, let alone when you’ve got a grimm weighing you down.

Yang tries to spin the decision to leave the relic with more selfish logic: Salem probably won’t find it for a couple of years at least. Hell, “It might not even happen in our lifetime. We could be done with it now.” I’ve spoken about this in other metas, but this self-centered thinking is really at the heart of the issue. The girls expected to kill Salem just as soon as they were a bit stronger (they probably assumed, naively, that they’d be done in the next few years) and now they’ve learned that this is a multi-generational battle. Protagonist Status aside, the in-world implication is that they won’t reap any rewards. This is a fight that requires true sacrifice: planting seeds in a garden you never get to see, if I may quote Hamilton. And right now they’re say ‘no.’ That’s not my responsibility. That’s not worth it. Drop this stupid thing and maybe we’ll have peaceful lives before Salem wins. No one else matters.

Ruby gets far enough to unclip the relic and dangle it over the well, her hand shaking as badly as Yang’s. She’s “really tired”… but Ruby is also currently stronger than the others. She faces The Apathy as well as her entire team doubting her and says no, this isn’t the right thing to do.

Too bad red eyes startle her and the relic drops.

Her reaction is so telling though. Ruby maintains her determination, even in the face of the problem being literally taken out of her hands. It would have been so easy to just relax into the mistake, acknowledge that whoops, didn’t mean to drop it… but is it so bad that I did? It takes more strength to go after the relic again than it would to just hold onto it. Ruby’s freaking amazing for demanding they go back down.

The reactions piss me off though. (Yes, yes even with The Apathy’s influence.) Like Qrow’s cruelty towards her concern, the girls aren’t just indifferent to Ruby’s emotion here, they’re mean. They act like they’re putting up with a naive, annoying child whose finally gotten on their nerves one too many times. If you watch Yang and Blake they trade the embodiment of an “Ugh here she goes” look. Yang then has the gall to say that Ruby just imagined the thing in the well. That’s a standard horror trope: protagonist sees something scary and friend immediately says nah, monsters aren’t real! Except, you know, they put that reaction into the mouth of a girl who fights monsters for a living. I also love the logic here, or lack thereof. Grimm, Ruby? C’mon. We’re surrounded by woods where we were attacked by a ton of grimm just yesterday, hanging out in an abandoned town where everyone is dead in their beds. We’ve got a magical object that specifically attracts grimm, a guy with a bad luck semblance, and we’ve been spewing negative emotion non-stop for the last 24 hours. Why would you think there’s a monster down there??

So yeah. Rational thought is out the window right now. Ruby stands her ground though (I STAN ONE FIERCE CHILD) and says she’s not leaving without the relic. I legit worried for a moment that her dead-eyed team would go, “Okay fine. Then we’ll leave without you,” but luckily RT didn’t take it that far. They all agree to go back down with her—further showing how Ruby’s determination helps combat apathy, both natural and grimm-induced.

Qrow yells for the “farm boy” to find them a spare tire and then goes to drink himself into oblivion. Maria rightly sneers at his lazy, childish behavior. Qrow’s bitching about the “stupid lamp” and the “stupid tire”? Maria snaps that he’s the stupid one here.

Keep dragging him, Grandma. Maybe if you get him mad enough it’ll break through some of that self-loathing.

We then begin a series of parallel edits where Maria sits reading the diary while the girls explore the sewers below. It helps build suspense to catch glimpses of the writing—things like “I did it!” and “my solution” and “The huntsmen pointed them out to me the other day”—as they near whatever is laying in wait. By the time Maria turns the page and finds the awful illustration of what was brought into town, the girls have already found it for themselves.

During all this we see even more how little Yang, Weiss, and Blake don’t trust Ruby while under The Apathy’s influence. When they turn out their lights (omg no) none of them take out their weapon like she does, even though we’ve seen in the past that it’s an instinctual reaction to copy her, especially when it comes to keeping themselves safe. But they’re too tired and there’s no grimm, remember?

They finally spot the relic and Ruby, bless her, smiles. No matter how much of a burden it is, she’s so relieved that she found it again.

Aaaaand she finds something else too.

Like the others, Ruby isn’t quite herself right now. She cowers and screams rather than immediately fighting back, but at least she’s able to get off a couple of shots before The Apathy’s cry does them all in. Maria drops down into the well for a rescue attempt (!!!!) and recognizing the grimm at hand just tells them to run.

So they do. Why didn’t they keep heading for the well exit? I have no idea. That seemed a little contrived to suddenly head deeper into this maze, but whatever. It’s more atmospheric to face The Apathy underground and it gives RT the opportunity to throw out another corpse leaning against the wall. Yeesh.

“I can’t do this,” Yang says, a line that obviously speaks to more than just her inability to run away from the grimm. Then Blake flat out drops.

It says a lot about both of their states of mind that after a candid conversation about protecting one another, Blake isn’t able to rouse herself to help Yang and Yang doesn’t even realize Blake is about to die. The ability to keep going, even for a beloved friend if not for yourself, is just gone.

Not so for Ruby and Maria. They’re each still able to get to their feet—the only two continuing this fight here and the fight out there—literally pulling everyone else along. Ruby yells for Blake to get up and she gives the creepiest line in all of RWBY’s history.

Blake: “It’s fine.”

With The Apathy’s claws literally inches from Blake’s cheek, Ruby lets loose her silver eyes.

It’s enough to knock them back, but not defeat them all. More importantly though, Ruby’s power seems to have knocked something into the girls as well. The recovery they make is staggering and I think it’s more than just The Apathy loosening its hold. As we’ll see in a second, the power is literally tied to love of friends, family, and humanity as a whole. Ruby just gave everyone a big dose of love-infused hope. Despite the episode’s title, the point here is that they’re not alone in the woods.

Weiss gets up the steps and shouts that the door is locked… and I’m sorry for laughing. But it just reminded me so much of First Year Hermione in the Devil’s Snare, shouting about how there’s no matches for a fire. Weiss. Are you a crazy powerful fighter capable of breaking a measly lock or not?

Yang comes to lend her a hand, but The Apathy knocks them down with their cry again. I love that they separated the partners here—Ruby trying to keep Blake safe—and we see Yang reaching for Weiss as she collapses again, muttering “No, no, no, no.” We then get a nice shot from Maria’s perspective as she slowly pieces things together. An experienced, silver-eyed warrior herself, Maria is the only one still able to move and she crawls to Ruby, asking what color her eyes are.

Damn if this poor grandma isn’t getting crazy revelation after crazy revelation. At least this one is able to save their asses. She coaches Ruby through drawing on the emotions that will activate her eyes. Think about the people you love. Focus on keeping them safe. “Life is beautiful. It’s precious. And it must be protected.”

The silver-eyed warriors are embodiments of the cause Ozpin fights for: protect humanity, no matter how hard. No wonder he was so interested in Ruby when they first met.

So for the first time we not only get to see Ruby using her power intentionally, we also see it destroy. She only froze the dragon grimm at Beacon and injured Cinder rather than killing her. Now, Ruby’s eyes turn all The Apathy before them into dust. With knowledge of what she’s drawing on and some measure of control, Ruby is growing more powerful.

Hell yes.

They come out into the wine cellar where Qrow is drunk beyond belief. Between all the alcohol and The Apathy it doesn’t even register that maybe his kids are panicking for a reason. He just yells at Weiss for wasting precious alcohol. Because yeah, Ruby might have done some damage, but The Apathy isn’t dead yet… and Weiss has beef with both the grimm that nearly killed them and with a cellar stuffed full of drink, courtesy of her mother. Now she’s given the chance to burn both to the ground? Weiss isn’t passing that opportunity up.

“Now we can leave,” she says. Once everything is on fire.

(Someone please make a version of the Elmo GIF with Weiss raising her arms maniacally as everything burns behind her. I’d like that.)

During all this we also get a wonderful little bumblebee moment as Yang grabs hold of Blake’s hand. A bright spot amongst all the horror.

They re-unite with Oscar, who is literally just,

and then they get the hell out of there. Driving away everyone is able to start thinking again, with Maria laying out how two of The Apathy were brought into town to try and keep people safe—a messed up form of self-medication in a world that doesn’t seem to care at all about mental health. “They drain your will to go on” and once you get the whole pack? You’re done for. Presumably everyone went to bed and just… never bothered to get up again.

Maria then straight up chucks the diary into the snow, which was an incredibly sad gesture to me. Like yes, they obviously don’t need the diary anymore, but it’s still a diary, the last surviving remnant of the family given that Weiss burned the house down. That action, for me at least, speaks to Maria’s disgust at the choices here. Not only that people think they can remove the bad parts of life without damaging the good, but that, financial difficulties aside, this fool actually thought he could get rid of huntsmen and replace their protection with grimm.

That was a rejection of them and it lead to the deaths of an entire town. Now apply that scenario to a much bigger picture. What’s gonna happen if the girls reject their own status as huntsmen and the town becomes the entire world?

Nothing good.

Weiss is the first to apologize. God bless this girl, that must have been hard to do, especially coming from an abusive family. Weiss has developed remarkably good communication skills in the last two years. I’m super proud of her. I’m also proud of Yang for stopping the bike and following Weiss’ apology with, “Me too.” She could have easily reacted with more anger—well we wouldn’t have even been in that awful place if it wasn’t for Ozpin—but she takes responsibility for at least some of her part in this mess. That’s such a good step forward! Go Yang!

The only thing that still worries me?

Yang: “We can’t quit until the lamp is safe.”

That’s, again, not a drive to fight. Yang is now clearheaded enough to be where Blake was back in Episode Four: we’ve got this powerful magical object, I have enough sense to recognize that we can’t abandon it, so let’s just get the stupid thing to Atlas and then we’ll be done. They’re still thinking selfishly outside of The Apathy’s clutches. Okay, okay, we are responsible for the relic… but why do we have to be responsible for anything else? Because this is the life you chose. Because no one else is equipped to do this. Because it’s the right thing to do. Because someone has to. At some point soon they’re going to need to tackle the fact that Atlas is just the first step of many, many more.

Ruby asks how in the world Maria knows so much and we end with the bombshell that, to be frank, most of the fandom was expecting: “Well isn’t it obvious, girl? I had silver eyes.”

The “had” now seems to be the important bit. Given the power of silver eyed warriors, it wouldn’t surprise me if—like the Maidens—they were once hunted for their power, either to claim it or remove it as a threat. We might learn that Maria isn’t just blind but at one point had her eyes entirely removed.

With that revelation the group keeps on driving.

Honestly? I’m super surprised they’re out of Brunswick already. Based on the slow exploration of the house and some tweets from RT—“Welcome to Brunswick Farms!”—it looked like we were settling in for the long haul, a series of episodes slowly revealing the creature and then figuring out how to destroy it. Instead we blew through everything in twenty minutes. Right now I don’t necessarily think that’s bad, I’ll just be curious to see how we’re going to fill up the rest of the Volume. Perhaps we’ll be getting back together with JN__R sooner than expected.

With that in mind, let me make a final comment about my newfound optimism. After today’s episode I’m not as convinced that we’re going to have that awful ‘Jaune slams Oscar/Ozpin up against the wall’ scene. I’ve spoken with multiple friends about how RWBY has gotten more literal with its opening credit imagery, but so far we’ve actually seen a fair number of metaphors for Volume Six:

Ruby and Weiss didn’t literally chase each other down the train, but that image demonstrates the strong support we’ve seen them giving one another this Volume.

Blake and Yang didn’t literally sit at a table and mope, but those actions also reflect the continued work that needs to go into their relationship—especially when compared with Ruby and Weiss.

We didn’t literally see Qrow get grabbed by The Apathy, but it definitely had the biggest effect on him. It helped to pull him further down.

We didn’t literally see Ruby soloing The Apathy and we definitely don’t see her using Crescent Rose like that. But that shot nicely reflects how she stood alone against the rest of her team. She was the only one initially willing to go back for the relic and by extension the only one figuratively facing The Apathy, as well as all it represents.

In the same way, I’m less convinced now that we’ll literally see Jaune grabbing hold of Oscar and doing him more bodily harm. Rather, this image might just be another representation of the mood: Jaune will be pissed. But hopefully by that point RWBY, Oscar, and Qrow have found their own determination and can back Ozpin up a bit.

Here’s hoping for more bright spots in general now that they’re out of that hell-hole... despite what these expressions imply.

Other Things of Note

A potential detail of the merge: Oscar’s pacing looks very Ozpin to me. People have already pointed out that he’s holding their cane like Ozpin (baseball bat charge into the house aside) and now he seems to be walking like him too.

When Maria talks about the solutions the townspeople were coming up with she says, “It sounds like it worked. At least for a spell.” Granted, I don’t think the writers used it deliberately, but I still like that the word “spell” made it into common vocabulary. It shows that yeah, people once knew about magic (at the very least Maidens were once common knowledge) and language grew to reflect that.

There is… a random trunk on the floor now. Was that there before?? I honestly don’t remember. Either way that was a jarring image for me. Open the treasure chest, Oscar.

Ruby and Yang sharing a blanket together. Awww.

It’s clear now that Ruby ignored her silver eyes all through Volume Five so that we could have this dramatic reveal, but it’s still an annoying choice. All they needed to do was provide a five second conversation where Ruby brings it up and Ozpin puts off revealing more secrets, or Ozpin brings it up and Ruby makes it clear she’s not ready to handle that conversation yet. (Her first use of her eyes is connected to the trauma of Pyrrha’s death.) Little details like that would have given RT space to set up this arc without leaving us with the annoying question, “Why the hell is our normally strategic leader ignoring the best weapon she currently has?”

This is just a little complaint, but I wish they’d done a bit more with how the townspeople died. Given the range of resisting/not resisting The Apathy that we saw today, it seems a little unlikely that everyone went to bed one night and simultaneously stayed there until they starved or whatever. Idk. Just seems like they could have done more with the story, but as said, we’ll have to see what the rest of the Volume holds and whether it was worth leaving the farm so quickly.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume six spoilers #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

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ladyillania · 5 years

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Songs For Fandoms

Bungou Stray Dogs

I'm still quite new to this fandom but I've seen enough of the show through the game to get the gist.

Go To War by Nothing More is up there for a song I associate with the show.

Pressure by Muse makes me think of Akutagawa.

Love The Way You Hate Me by Like A Storm is also Akutagawa.

Last Resort and Born For Greatness, both by Papa Roach, also come to mind.

This is Gonna Hurt by Sixx AM.

Fighter by Christina Aguilera and Warrior by Demi Lovato make me think of a few certain characters.

Locked Out of Heaven by Bruno Mars for Dazai, because, well... reasons.

Gangsta Sexy by Hollywood Undead came from a Chuuya AMV I found, so now I think of him when I hear that song.

Chuuya x Dazai is most certainly True Love by Pink. That song is their relationship in a nutshell. Also Super Psycho Love by Simon Curtis if I'm feeling angsty. IDGAF by Dua Lipa as well.

Atsushi x Akutagawa makes me think of On My Own by From Ashes to New. Also No Air by Jordin Sparks and Monster by Dev (that last one I found when I was 13 and in my nightcore phase, but it still fits.)

That's all I got for now, but I'm sure more will come over time.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #anime #songs

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hiswhiteknight · 6 years

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Best Friends Turned Foes - Part 2

Summary: Reader is an up and comer with the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. The Reader’s relationship (lack thereof) with the one and only Bucky Barnes starts to become a problem, especially considering they’re usually moments from killing each other. They used to be best friends, but something in the past broke the bond. Y/N and Barnes bickering is now becoming too much, so Captain and Tony take it upon themselves to fix it by forcing them to work together.

This is a slow chapter, it should start getting interesting next few parts. Thank you so much to everyone that’s been interested in this story. I want to start doing requests, so just message me if you are interested.

I’m new at taglists, requests, and such - so please bare with me.

Again, this is a mini series for @marvelatmytrash #MAMTWritingChallenge. I’m not sure how many parts there will be. Hope you like this part. I don’t own characters and not my gif.

PART 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1300

Warning: Angst, potential cursing

You walked into the meeting room, sitting down at the table, furthest from the head of it. You blended in with the other agents, who didn’t give you any attention because they sat in a room full of Avengers, not all of them, but a lot. You preferred the attention being on them anyway. It was more than obvious the Avenger’s attention was on you. They didn’t like you trying to blend it, you were an Avenger just like them.

“Alright,” Tony stands, pacing around the room, “Everyone in this room knows I’m the best,” a chuckle erupts through the crowd. “But Cap here,” he placed his heavy hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Feels competition and growth is important for the best interest of the team. So every year, we have this silly competition to see who is the best. Well, it’s that time again folks. You’ll all getting paired up, placed on a few jets, flying out to the middle of nowhere and,” he paused for dramatics, looking around the room, “Kicking the snot out of each other in the claim of dominance and power – like The Hunger Games. Welcome to war games, kids!”

Captain stood up quickly, “I’ll take it from here Tony,” he smirked towards his friend and colleague. “This training exercise is about comradery, executing and growing skills, and letting off some playful steam. It’s about having a good time, not kicking the snot out of each other.”

A glow shimmered around the room, everyone loved this exercise. They took it very seriously because the winner’s get this vacation prize and money, plus huge bragging rights. It was like being crowned royalty for the next year. And usually there is no mercy. Tony grabbed everyone’s attention again, “So let’s start pairing off, but before you all moan over your pairing F.R.I.D.A.Y strategically placed people together for the best benefit of everyone, equally – so in a nutshell, I don’t care.”

Tony and Cap yelled out pairings. The last time you got to do this type of war game was your first year of recruitment. You didn’t win, but you sure got close. And this was the first year they were doing pairs, instead of individuals. The games are close to actual combat, but with Stark’s technology and money we could do it safely and with some humor. You’d be lying if you said weren’t excited about this, you were starting to be seen as a lead agent; this could be your real way to show them you have made it. You are not some little girl or rookie, you could train the best to be the best. Suddenly you heard your name being called, “Y/L/N and Barnes,” the room filled with tension.

Your whole body went numb besides the burning sensation of your face. Everything was put into slow motion and you were able to process what was just said. Wanda and Natasha made eye contact, you grinded your teeth, “I’m sorry,” you said, “What?”

Bucky was surprisingly quiet, Tony looked up, “Did I stutter,” he countered back to you, “Next,” he continued.

“Pause,” you stood up, pointing at him like you held a remote, “Rewind, repeat,” you instructed.

“You know, not that I think is this the time to confirm this, but you really are as freakish as everyone says. I like it and all, but now zip it and sit,” he pointed at you. You continued to stare, “Now.”

You grinded your teeth more not listening at first, “Y/L/N,” Cap caught your attention, “Any complaints are null, please take a seat,” he said softly with a stern undertone.

Nodding your head, you take a seat, continuing to let the steam roll poured from your ears. As soon as the meeting ended, Captain called out after you. It was completely obvious you were boiling pissed about this war game. And though you followed orders pretty well and you respected Cap more than anyone else – you ignored his calls.

Most people at this point would be strategizing with this partners before heading to the pre-game party where everyone would bond, smack talk, relieve some steam through alcohol, and call it a night. Tomorrow everyone would be shipped out to this secret location and two days later the games begin.

At this point, you’d rather not participate and lose instead of speaking to the Winter Soldier. So instead you went straight to the gym to ‘work out’ your aggravation, “If you hit that thing any harder, we might have to start calling you Captain, Y/N,” Natasha says from behind you.

Ignoring them, you continue to hit the bag, “You should feel lucky, Bucky is one of the best Avengers – it’s almost unfair you both being paired up,” Wanda continues.

“You should know people are placing bets about the pair of you,” Clint yells from across the mat, “Mine’s on you, babe.”

You continued your foot work, not looking to stop and talk to people. This was supposed to be a coping strategy, “That’s too bad that no one is going to get money because I’m not doing it. I forfeit my position and I’ll take pride in losing.”

Nat looks back at you, “Y/N, you have to participate. This could jeopardize your position among the organization. You have to take this seriously.” That statement caused you to pause and look at the trio, “You have a perfect record. Everyone looks at this like a game, but it’s an exercise as well. This could ruin you.”

“You are tougher than this,” Clint continued.

Wanda stepped in, “Aren’t you the one that says, get comfortable being uncomfortable,” she quoted a phrase you live by, “We know you are not a quitter. You got to believe in yourself, you are an exceptional person. Don’t waste it.”

“I,” you punched with everyone word, “Won’t. Be. The. Problem,” you finished, turning to them, “Y’all want me to keep close quarters with my nemesis and call it a training win.”

“Think of it as a challenge, we had to work with Loki, and it made us stronger,” Wanda continued to try to uplift you.

Clint hummed, “Aaa,” he suggested that he might not agree, but cut it as soon as Nat gave him a deadly look.

You looked down at your gloves, you hated letting people down, and not pushing yourself to be the best, “Fine, I’m only doing it to show under all circumstances I can kick anyone’s ass.”

“That’s my cocky girl,” Clint yelled again, “Get it.”

“Barton,” you yelled, trying not to laugh, “I can’t continue to be angry, when you are acting like one of the girls.”

“I can’t stop the charm,” he grins.

“Y/N,” Barnes yells across the gym, “Come here.”

You slowly turned towards him, cocking your head to look at him in annoyance. He did not just command you to come to him like you were a dog or something. Your hesitation caused him to shove up his hands in annoyance. You straightened up, lifted your eyebrows, and flipped him the finger before storming off to the locker room.

“Y/N,” he yelled after you, not moving from his place.

Wanda, Clint, and Nat watched the exchange with amusement and shock, “And so it begins,” Nat whispered.

Bucky storms off in the opposite direction, potentially trying to head off your escape to your room, “My money is still on Y/N,” Clint says, “Though I’m investing most of my money on them hooking up.” Nat and Wanda shake their heads starting to walk off, “If you don’t feel that sexual tension, you’re dead inside,” he continued after them.

Part 3

Taglist: @mia-at-work @loki-bxrnes @salty-buchanan @three17am.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #mini series #angst marvel #angst #hiswhiteknight #Avengers

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enchantment1385 · 6 years

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A Quirky Original Character Profile... Pt 1 (twins... Gah!)

tagged by my sunshine, @heraldofwho thanks sweetheart! okay, I am on this... Also a massive thank you to @dickeybbqpit who made this brilliant template with links! {TEMPLATE}

Name: Faeron Lavellan

MBTI: (Personality type) Extroverted Feeling Your mental life is highly concerned with cooperation, tact, diplomacy, and harmonious human relations. In your demeanor, you tend to be friendly and sympathetic to others, winning their trust through fellow-feeling and by expressing just the right reaction at the appropriate moment. You have a delicate understanding and sensibility when it comes to understanding the power of praise and criticism for human motivation, and you often take great care to ensure that yours is fair and appropriate and delivered in such a way as to motivate people to keep striving for future growth. As a person you are warm, well-organized, and prone to speaking to people in just such a way as to bring out the best in them. However, you may find it hard to acknowledge your own negative feelings and to call out abusive streaks in others. Your most likely Jungian type is ENFJ or ESFJ.

Enneagram: Type 2 - The Helper Helpers who need to be needed. People of this personality type essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others. Love is their highest ideal. Selflessness is their duty. Giving to others is their reason for being. Involved, socially aware, usually extroverted, Twos are the type of people who remember everyone's birthday and who go the extra mile to help out a co-worker, spouse or friend in need.Twos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who expect to be appreciated for their efforts. Yup. That’s him!!

Alignment : Neutral Good- A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Temperament Blend: Sanguine In a nutshell... Sanguine people are boisterous, bubbly, chatty, openly emotional, social extroverts. That... Is scarily accurate!

Zodiac Sun: Pisces/ Aries cusp. Faeron is 100% pisces but Nico seems to be far more Aries.

Zodiac Moon Taurus

Hogwarts House Hufflepuff You’re undeniably a Hufflepuff, but you definitely have some strong Gryffindor qualities. You proudly wear your heart on your sleeve, but you lack the recklessness of a true Gryffindor, which means that you don’t act on your feelings without thinking. Your kindness and openness is what originally attracts other people to you, but they stay for your unwavering loyalty, meaning you’re constantly surrounded by a large group of friends.

Ilvermony House Pukwudgie Named by James Steward, after the fiercely independent magical creature the Pukwudgie; Pukwudgie house is sometimes considered to represent the heart of a witch or wizard. It is also said that Pukwudgie favours healers.

Bending Element/Nonbender Air Bender You are an air bender. You are drawn to freedom. You are fun loving and free spirited and you always find a way to lighten the mood. You feel that helping others is a priority, yet you don't like being tied down. Sometimes your trusting and adventurous nature can make you seem naive or restless, but you use these traits to make friends easily. People trust you. Above all you believe in second chances, change, and finding joy in life.

Spirit Guide Reindeer You are very family oriented, skillful in communication and social activities and a born leader. You welcome any opportunity to guide others into new directions and are very helpful to friends and family. You are receptive to the needs of others and often teach others how to adapt to community concerns. You have a tendency to be a bit of a wanderer and are always looking to explore new places and experiences.

If they could have one superpower Cosmic Manipulation can manipulate various forms of cosmic energy. Power/Ability to: Control cosmic forces. The power to manipulate all cosmic forces. Yeah, sounds fun!

One question they would ask a higher being ‘Was it my fault?’

Which single Disney character are they most similar to - Ariel, the little mermaid.

Star Wars Class Probably, Jedi Knight

Star Trek Starfleet Job/Division Medical.

If they were a storm or natural disaster Hurricane It takes a particular set of circumstances for you to get truly angry, but when it happens there's just no escaping your wrath.

Describe their aesthetic in five words or less: Warm, bright, soft, comfy, flowing.

If their life was a TV show would it be a single camera sitcom (ex: the office, parks and rec, modern family) multi-cam comedy (ex: friends, big band theory) , animated comedy (ex the Simpsons, rick and morty) talk show (Ellen, Jerry Springer), (Neo) western (ex: Breaking Bad), primetime drama, telanovella, dramedy (ex: Chuck), crime, horror, hero’s journey, epic, tragedy, etc? Oh jesus... Ummm, think more heartbreaking anime. something like... Ai no exorcist or Tiger & Bunny. Sad, but he just keeps trying and that’s why we love him!

Describe the way they use and move their body (do they own the space they take up, do they hunch, fiddle, squirm, are they still, catlike, clunky, fluid, solid, fiery, do they seemingly vibrate in place, do they have spots they favor, etc) Faeron uses his hands a lot, I think keeping his hands busy keep his mind busy. His hands flow and makes shapes.

Their voice (is it deep and booming, does it fill a room, how often do they speak, do they sigh and mumble, are they soft-spoken, etc) Faeron’s voice is deep, without being booming or raspy. He’s well spoken but does stumble over his words or stutter when he’s nervous.

Which of the Dark Triad Traits are they susceptible to Hmm... This is tough, because he doesn’t really fall into any of the three, but, if I had to say I would probably say Psychopathy. The reason being, if faeron ‘lost it all’ he would lose himself too.

Which Quadrant of the political spectrum do they lie on and how far in, do they even care Your political coordinates are:2.8% Left, 27.8% Liberal So basically, he’s for the people.

Most listened to music genre if they lived in our world Everything!!! He would listen to anything once and his taste would be broad.

Their most useless talent Blowing smoke shapes.

If they could change their name and give themselves a nickname, what would it be? Faeron the sleepy, Lord of dreams... The first... And mighty.

Tagging, @gugle1980 @keeperscompanionsdai @ironbullsmissingeye @queen-of-the-crows

#faeron lavellan #dai #tagged #personality quiz

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blondrichclosetwitch · 3 years

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Oh I believe in yesterday…10/14/21

11 am cargo culte serge gainsbourg--I know me, wizards who summon the jets

They dream of hijacks

And bird accidents

Where are you melody

And your dislocated body

Where these native wizards move in vain

Who still hope for broken planes Having nothing more to lose

Nor God in whom to believe

11:11 the fox in the snow, belle & sebastian --Girl in the snow, where do you go

To find someone who will do?

To tell someone all the truth

Before it kills you

And listen to your crazy laugh

Before you hang a right

And disappear from sight

What do they know anyway?

You'll read it in a book

gettiing nowhere fast, the wedding present 11:11--I am finished when I don't do what they want me to

11:13 summer song angel olsen--Was so high, I couldn't think to land

And then one moment I was blown away

And there was nothing left that I could say or do

Took a while, but I made it through

If I could show you the hell I'd be en to

11:22 daniel bat for lashes--

And in the golden-blue

Car you took me to

The darkest place you knew

And set fire to my heart

this one is tough. In a nutshell, I was told in 2017 that Blond did a sex spell in her car in front of

My apartment with my ex-boyfriend daniel to make Jakk lose his mind, but over time I realized it was about me, not him. I also was told they fucked in front of Jakk with him chained to a bed and shot him up with heroin 6 times.

So this song kinda makes me sick. But honestly, him fucking someone to get back at me is par for the course. Especially if it will make me literally go crazy.

11:22 country disappeared, wilco—Hold out your hand

So much you don't understand

So stick as close as you can

11:26 unforgettable drake——And all the girls that played me eat your muthafuckin' heart out And since you can’t escape me, do I ever cross your mind? The good die young so I’ma need a thug wife

Yeah, I’m talkin' his and her firearms Damn right, so fly I need feathers

11:30 savage night at the opera , destroyer—savage night at the opera

Another savage night at the club

Let’s face it, old souls like us are being born to die!

It's not a war 'til someone loses an eye!

11:34 i don't like mondays bob geldolf--

And mother feels so shocked, father's world is rocked

And their thoughts turn to their own little girl I wanna shoot-ooh, the whole day down

11:40 lonesome cowboy bill velvet underground --Sometimes even New Orleans

11:44 brilliant disguise introduction bruce springsteen-- I’ve put this up a few times.

“Trust uh, trust in a relationship's a fragile thing. Uh, always been a little complicated for me 'cause trust requires allowing others to see as much of our real selves as we have the courage to reveal. But I mean uh, I don't wanna see my real self, why would, why would others want to? But it means allowing others to see behind our many masks, masks we wear, overcomin' that fear, or rather learning how to love and how to trust in spite of it. It takes a little courage, and a very strong partner. 'Cause in this life you make your choices and you take your stand and you awaken from that youthful spell of immortality where it feels like the road's gonna go on forever. And you walk alongside your chosen partner with the clock ticking, and you recognize that life is finite, that you've got just so much time, and so together, you name the things that'll give your life in that time its meaning, its purpose, its fullness, its, its very reality. And this is what you build together, this is, what your love consists of. This is what you, this is your life, ya know. And these are things that you can hold onto when the storms come, as they will.”

11:44 if there's nothing left NIKI--If there's nothing left, you have me too, oh

And screams will turn to whispers over time

That's alright, that's fine with me

'Cause I'll still have all of your smile

I couldn't care less 'bout the silence

If there's nothing, I got fight left in me—this is about how no matter what happened, I always come back to these pictures of my niece, and she reminds me that everything is ok.

11:48 tlc baby baby baby--

I’m actually not sure which lyric to choose, but I can tell you they play this so much, so it makes me think that it’s actually about our baby, and how much mental space it took up for both of us. Still to this day. Also the doctor said my hormones are as good as a teenage girls, and that things are looking good for pregnancy. So who knows.

11:55 dancing on my own, robyn—It was right when the song played that they started to say that something happened to Jakk. He had put this on a mix that he played for us in the hotel, so I always think of it as one of our songs. It was also what played when I was told to wait in the park for psychic Jakk in 2017, in the rain, but he never showed up.

11:57 i only have eyes for you art garfunkel—My love must be a kind of blind love

12:04 disappointing diamond father john misty—This love's contaminated me, This love is bursting out of me—one of the ways my body shows it’s stress is my nervous system will break down. There was a time in 2020 in Yonkers where I was told that someone was coming to get me and I was told to throw my keys in the street, and then when I went to light a cigarette I was told not to, and insisted I was pregnant. And I took my headphones in

Hands and violently pulled so hard that I felt a sharp pain in

Body. I was locked outside for the next 16 hours, and my body was insanely sick. That was the night that I was told that in order to get picked up I had

To get rid of all of my niece’s pictures and the artwork she made me. And the bottle of holy water that they had put the poisonous substance in.

I would say that was a day that almost broke me.

——12:06 c.o.n.f.o.r.m., dj shadow—Tears are pouring, it seems the well is never filled

Mentally exhausted, overworking, take another pill These corporations manipulating our daily lives

Got us exasperated working through all of our days and nights

Dont get cocky get you killed, you'll be a trending topic

Flooding my Twitter feed with my deepest feelings and thoughts

I'm just a millennial trapped in social media standards

In some sense that's the power of the Internet

On the other hand, that's a perfect formula for the dark side

—:12 sweet virginia the rolling stones —Drop your reds, drop your greens and blues And I hid the speed inside my shoe Got to scrape that shit right off your shoes

12:13 sexual thoughts bill hicks— when this played, it was insinuated that I was hearing Jakk talking to me from a coma-state, and I was told that he wanted me to go home and clean, and also to self/pleasure wearing the strap-on I bought him, as if he was there.

I didn’t do it. I needed to investigate this.

12:19 lingerie lizzo--“Treat you with my body, my eyes closed

So I lounge around in my lingerie

I wanna be prepared for you just in case”

ok I’ll be blunt. When dancing on my own played, I was told that Jack was shot and in the hospital. Before that, they kept saying “he’s gone” when I would try to psychically include him in protection prayers. They kept telling me that I needed to go to the hospital, and then when lingerie played, my head flashed to the first time that I was told he was shot, in 2016, when I was giving play by plays of was supposedly going down… Including that I was told that he had already pressed charges against Blond, because that was the best way to keep her from suicide. I had gone out and gotten 2 cups of coffee, one for him and one for me, because I was expecting him any moment. And so I was cleaning my house. This is symbolic. Ever since that moment, it seems whenever I am home, I am always cleaning my house. I can’t say I can explain it completely, but i can you tell you the first time I was told he was shot, I was cleaning as a preparation, in black lingerie. There has not been a day that I am in there and don’t put off something I’m supposed to do because I’m cleaning. I don’t know if the last time she was there the tarot reader did a spell to keep the house perpetually dirty, or what it is exactly but I know there’s something.

While I was correcting my voice text, they showed me that the spirit that she conjured up there does a lot of stuff to the apartment. So anyway.

I guess the last thing I’ll say about the song

Lingerie is that when Jakk finally texted me back

That it was “totally imagined”, I was standing there in my underwear. And I just kind of cracked.

“I’m not creating a fantasy — if it’s shocking, it’s because that story isn’t told and that’s often because big women aren’t even involved to tell their [own] stories. I just happen to be here in the room, I have a platform and I’m telling the story. I’m not going to shy away from it, I’m not embarrassed, this is who I am.”

12;21 stevie wonder ebony & ivory—Side by side on my piano keyboard

Oh Lord, why don't we?

12:25 beetlebum ag cook——She's a gun, now what you done

She turns me on and all my violence's gone—this, at least I think, is about how Jakk could reach for me to shut out everything else happening.

she'll make you come

'Cause she's your gun

He's on, he's on, he's on it—H

12:28 venus & mars jay z—my thoughts on this

Is venus is love, Mars is how you

Fight..it supported the idea that Jakk could have been shot.

She used to have a man, I used to have a side chick

Shorty got wind, I had to blow the chick off She got rid of him, they both took the shit hard Shorty played the piano, me I played with white keys

I finish my breakfast, shorty's out to lunch

Me singing “who shot ya?”

Started at the window, end up at the wall

—12:34 cowboy tyler the creator—Knock-knock, mothafucks, it's me, Mr. Clusterfuck—I don’t think

This is going exactly how they were expecting.

What, when, where, how, like who gives a fuck

twenty says I hit your wife—I was jakk’s

Wife in the 1700’s

This is life, truthfully I just want to fly some kites, go around, riding bikes—I will say I was super happy to have my bike. But you know, two weeks later is was totaled.

Everybody's sparking but me, and I keep coughing

Can't keep calm in this spot's hot box and I'm getting nauseous—the walls

But it makes your shadow say none, fun and grab the gun again—-another gun reference

I needed to get out of the house—the walls

If you think I'm fucking koo-koo, try talking to my shrink then

12:34 speaking in tongues arcade fire—Sneaking out the windows now—they were using the downstairs key, the fire escape, and my windows. So much effort. Apparently the new plan

Is to be hiding when I go up for sunrise, and hold the gun until I jump. So yeah, no sunrises for the moment.

12:38 the sound of silence chromatics——Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains within the sound of silence—this again is a reference to stuff that is working on us while we sleep. I know that a lot of stuff is still conditioned in, and I’m not sure how to break it. It takes a lot of cleansing

Work to get clear. I definitely still have influence, and last night I wore a mask while I slept.

12:42 i’m’gonna love you too blondie—After all, another fella took you

But I still can't overlook you

I'm going to do my best to hook you

After all is said and done—stuff done to Jakk

—12:45 marina can’t pin me down—I could be your sister, I could be your mother

I could be your neighbour, I could be your lover—past lives

Also this song when I first hear it playing seems

To be in blonds voice, insisting she won’t get caught

12:51 jesus children of america —You'd better tell

Your story fast

Transcendental meditation gives you peace of mind

12:56 we prick you, bowie—tell the truth

1:01 annie dog the smashing pumpkins--Her diamond curse

It comes with mine—this refers to how I was a super rich woman when blond was a slave, and how she came into this life vindictive towards me.

A vessel she for violent I

Confession arms a wake

Mine, mine, you were always mine—I’m the vessel. more past life references. There does seem to be something about obsession in our past

Lives, I haven’t figured it out completely but it seems

To be in france. I’ll have to ask the music about that one.

And below, the angel dog

Combs her hair and sings her psalms—that’s stella

The bombs go off, she doesn’t notice—they always show me natural impending disasters, but a lot of them I didn’t catch because there were some things keeping me from getting the messages

It all goes wrong, she sets things tragic

She is Venus, she is Mars—they’re showing

Me something about her being dissatisfied with how the first attack on me went, and that she called in more associates to invoke something darker, and that that is what caused the tragedy.

Upon her face, we leave no trace

But in her stomach, mercury aged—this is about how most of the attacks were on my stomach, and how all the terrorizing storylines and satanic rituals for 4 months finally

Made my nervous system shut

Down. In those last few days I was no longer able to even sleep.

She holds the blood

She carves the knives

She tapes the wires in our babies—I’m not totally clear whether she & K were able to interact with my nieces, plural, because I was told my younger niece was also made to be part of the rituals, but

I do know

I was told they had “possession” of stella, and that they weren’t going to let her go. “Stella” was telling me things that weren’t true all the time, to the point that I nicknamed her “bad stella” but the truth was, it wasn’t stella at all.

It was Blond.

It finally took a woman from the church

To set me straight: I came

In hysterical because I had just been told that they were holding God captive, and she clarified that God was omnipotent. And she told me God wouldn’t allow them to harm Stella’s soul.

Amphetamine Annie-Dog

Pulls her trash and her stories—now I don’t know what drugs she’s on, but I do know that they went through

My trash regularly, which is one of the ways they kept getting stuff of mine to use as personal concerns. Also from what I understand, —-they’re showing

Me blond trying to steal my identity. More than personal papers &

Clothes. I’m sure they’ll expand later.

Well, gotta stop here for now. Time for rituals. These are the songs from yesterday. I might finish this later,

If I can

Find the time.

1:02 mirrorball, taylor swift--

1:09 rattlesnake st. vincent--

1:11 wilco i must be high--

1:12 like like the the the death silver jews--

1:16 free sylvan esso--

1:23 all i do stevie wonder--

1:24 singing cowboy love--

1:30 more than this roxy music

1:32 i love you the VU--

1:35 claws charli xcx--

1:38 colors pt 2 halsey--

1:39 can't feel my face the weeknd--this is about me and the first effects i noticed from the walls.

1:48 i can't give everything away david bowie--

1:50 run it my morning jacket--

1:53 realer megan thee stallion--

1:55 friends like you, who needs friends /rushmore--

1:57 archangel tale m ward--

202 something the microphones--

206 jonathan fiona apple--

211 rover led zeppelin--

2:22 pink glove, pulp--

2:28 rhinostone cowboy, glen campbell--

2:29 too bad faces--

2:30 queen bitch bowie--

#who shot ya?

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violent-optimism · 6 years

Text

My Ranking of all the MCU films so far

Hey guys! So now that I have finally caught up and watched every single film from the Marvel Cinematic Universe (to date) I will now rank them from worst to best!

Just an FYI: Some of you will probably not agree with some of my choices, and that is perfectly fine. This is just my personal opinion.

Here we go!

#19: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

The Hulk has always been one of my favourite superheroes, and as far as I am concerned this movie completely ruined him. The CGI looked like a video game, the narrative was terrible. No redeeming qualities whatsoever. Just not a good movie at all in my opinion.

#18: Iron Man 2 (2010)

I actually saw this one in the theater, and I kinda wish I hadn’t. However, unlike the previous entry I wouldn’t say it’s a completely awful film. There are a couple decent/funny moments. But for the most part, it’s not great and I don’t think I’d watch it again.

#17: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

I seriously cannot believe I wasted my money TWICE to see this in the theater. I was pretty disappointed by this movie. The villain had no clear motivation. The romance was so awkward and the majority of the humor just didn’t work. The only redeeming qualities are the performances of Hemsworth and Hiddleston.

#16: Iron Man 3 (2013)

Now, I don’t think this movie is actually that bad, but it’s just not quite as good as some of the other high caliber MCU films. I liked that they addressed Tony’s mental health issues and the film has a pretty good ending. This movie won’t exactly waste your time, but there are other films more worthy of it.

#15: Thor (2011)

While not NEARLY as bad as its sequel, the first Thor film is a bit cheesy, clunky and predictable. That being said, it’s a visually impressive movie with some pretty fun and hilarious moments. At this point I feel kind of neutral about it. It ain’t no Ragnarok but it’s not as terrible as the second installment.

#14: Iron Man (2008)

For the very first film in the MCU line-up, this one is pretty good. Right away we know exactly what kind of person Tony Stark is, and the first half of the movie is surprisingly suspenseful and emotionally charged. It has a few humorous and bad-ass sequences. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really stand up in comparison to some of the later MCU films. That being said, it’s still a pretty good time.

#13: Ant-Man (2015)

Now the only reason I put this above Iron Man is because of how much it exceeded my expectations. I really didn’t think it was going to be that good, but it was. Not a perfect film by any means, but I was surprised at how entertaining and funny it was. I suppose my only complaint would be that unless you are really into Ant-Man as a character, it’s not that memorable of a film.

#12: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Don’t get me wrong, I did think this film was very enjoyable for the most part, I just don’t think it was as good as the first one. I think what I liked most was the development of the relationship between Gamora and Nebula. I did think most of the humor was good, but there was so much of it that it ended up feeling more like a comedy rather than a super-hero flick.

#11: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

There is no denying that Chris Evans was cast perfectly as Captain America/Steve Rogers. He is someone you can really root for, which is what makes this movie so successful. However, the film is very cheesy at parts, and some sequences are slowly paced, but overall it’s a very entertaining movie and a great introduction to one of the MCU’s most important characters.

#10: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Personally, I do think this one is better than the sequel. All of the characters are introduced perfectly, and their interactions are written in such a clever way. I also think this movie has the better soundtrack when compared the sequel, and the humor is not as overblown. I guess my only complaint would be that it kind of feels like the film makers were trying to copy the Avengers with the whole “team doesn’t get along at first but then they do” scenario. It definitely works, but it’s not the most original idea. Overall, very well done.

#9: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Although the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films (excluding the 3rd one) will always be close to my heart, I have to admit that this movie was really good. I really enjoy Tom Holland’s portrayal of Peter Parker. He has an innocence about him that makes him so likeable, and you really want him to succeed. I also thought the humor in this movie was perfect, and Michael Keaton was not just another boring Marvel villain. Overall, I would definitely see it again.

#8: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

To be honest, I don’t think this movie is QUITE as good as the Tumblr community thinks it is. However, it is pretty darn good. Some of the action and fight choreography is absolutely stunning. I love how it feels like a spy/espionage film while also displaying themes that the MCU is known for. I love the developing relationship between Steve and Natasha, and how this film exposes their true colours. Really well done.

#7: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Again, I don’t think this movie is as incredible as the Tumblr fans say it is, but overall I did enjoy it quite a bit. A lot of the issues I had with the previous Thor films are not in this one.The Director must have realized that the previous Thor films just weren’t working, and decided to give this one a fun, energetic spin that I think was the perfect choice. Of course, I have to talk about my favourite actress, Cate Blanchett, who KILLS IT in this role (no pun intended). With a brilliant aesthetic and motivation that makes sense, she might just be my favourite MCU villain yet. In my opinion, this is the best Thor film so far.

#6: Black Panther (2018)

Alright, now we’re getting to the really good stuff! This movie took the world by storm, and it’s not hard to understand why. With a cast full of talented and diverse actors, Black Panther is unlike any Marvel movie we’ve ever seen before. I can’t tell you how unbelievably refreshing it is to see a film that is not 90% white people, it’s the other way around! Although the story is a tad predictable if you’ve seen The Lion King, the action is superb, the visuals are beautiful, and the script is very well written. Wakanda forever!

#5: Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Without getting too much into spoiler territory, I will say that this film is probably the most ambitious cross-over I have ever seen in all of cinema. The crazy part is that the directors actually managed to tell a clear and concise story despite the fact that they were dealing with something like 30 characters in one film. Emotional, suspenseful, thought-provoking and hilarious, this one hits all the marks that it should in the most surprising ways.

Still not sure what to think about that ending though....

#4: The Avengers (2012)

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I first saw this movie it totally blew my mind! It truly is an epic movie with some of the best writing I’ve ever heard/seen. While I feel that fans obsessed over Loki a little too much, he is a fun villain with a pretty clear motivation. This movie also introduces Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner who I think is by far the best actor to portray the character. I feel like this is the movie that started the trend of MCU films that were actually really good. It’s a really entertaining ride from beginning to end.

#3: The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

I know exactly what some of you are thinking: “Oh my god she thinks Age of Ultron is better than the first one are you freaking kidding me”. Yes, you are correct. I do think that Age of Ultron is better than the first Avengers, and I seem to be very very alone in that opinion for some reason. Basically I think that this film has everything that made the first Avengers film good with a couple things that make it even better:

1) The character interactions are more complex and interesting

2) The stakes are a lot higher and the heroes suffer more

In a nutshell, that is why I think it’s better than the first one. To be perfectly honest I’m not really sure why Tumblr hates this movie so much. I get that nobody really likes the Bruce/Natasha pairing but is that really a valid reason to hate the entire movie? I guess I’ll never know.

#2: Doctor Strange (2016)

Unless you’ve been counting, I doubt you saw this one coming up so high on my list. It wasn’t until I started thinking about my ranking that I thought: “Wow, I LOVE Doctor Strange!” Not only is Benedict Cumberbatch an incredibly talented actor, I always liked this film because it was a marvel film that didn’t feel like a stereotypical “marvel” film (if that makes sense). Aside from having a visual style I don’t think I’ve ever seen before, I think my favourite part about this movie is the progressive character arc that Stephen Strange goes through. By the end of the film he’s not a completely different person, but his priorities have shifted and he wants to help make the world a safer place. Also I can’t talk about this movie without mentioning the SOUNDTRACK, oh my goodness the soundtrack. Here’s the link, listen and be amazed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc0KNrpFka8

#1: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

It took me a little while to figure it out, but I definitely feel that this movie is my favourite in the MCU so far. Sort of a scaled-down version of Infinity War, this movie has a lot of characters, but the story is balanced so well that you barely notice. The comedy is really good, and is countered with scenes of irreversible emotion. Everything ties together so wonderfully, and despite the long run time, the movie is extremely well paced. Although it has one of the more darker endings in a marvel movie, it still manages to end on fairly positive note, which I love. I don’t know what else I can say to praise this movie, so I’ll end it right there.

Wow, that took a while! There you have it folks, my personal ranking of all 19 MCU films so far. If you took the time to read all of this, thank you so much for doing so. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

#MCU #marvel #opinion #my ranking

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