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#this is so hard im scared but i need to do smth abt this now
pekodayz · 6 months
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and i lie mentally to make myself feel better but that just bites me in the ass oughhh
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puppyeared · 6 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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pepprs · 1 year
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ok mutuals be honest. should i “break up” w my counselor over these texts yes or no
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#purrs#i don’t have the spoons to type much let alone reply to anybody ESPECIALLY not him bc this fucking pissed me off so bad i have been too#angry to reply. like what the fuck is this. im going through a hard time right now so why are you judging me for wanting us to talk about#that instead of me doing your stupid little homework assignment. i just feel so judged by him all the time and i can’t work up the courage#to tell him or end things. but i am actually dreading talking abt this new development / topic w him anyways bc the last time we talked abt#it he judged and pushed me so hard and i got SOOOOO angry but also maybe he was right and just saying thigns i didn’t want to hear and then#his supervisor got sick and he said he had this plan for us to do the erikson thing and we’ve barely started it and i feel so bad bc i#genuinely think it could work but i just don’t mesh well with him. but it’s like i should give it a try and stick it out bc there’s only a f#few months left and what if things get better. and also ihavent given him any indication of how unhappy ive been w him as my counselor and i#don’t want to spring it on him out of nowhere. but no we’ve been working together since October and i don’t feel seen or supported by him at#all an di know i have to leave bc i deserve better but things are so bad rn and my brain has been broken all weekend and i just don’t have t#the strength and idk what to reply or if i should but i think everyone is probably gonna say i need to leave him and i think you’d be right.#delete later#i truly do not have the mental capacity to rn but if u go thru my other purrs posts i talk abt some of the shit he’s done that has just been#building and building and i know i need to do smth about it bc it’s not okay. but im so scared.
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caruliaa · 1 year
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deciding if i want my text post about my father for today becuase too many would be whiny to be about how i get very terrifed anytime he raises his voice and thats prob not normal (which i already knew but yk) or a snarky "how come my dads on discord i though that site just pushed and agenda and tricked people into thinking theyre gay? that why i wasnt allowed it right?"
#see i was writing this post from the perspective that the first one was very concering and the second one is funny.#but yk i j realized to people that arent me theyre both concerning. ok.#my immediate response to seeing my dad on discord btw was to leave the official acnh server j bc thats like the most official server im in#and i got Scared. which is dub bc my dad doesnt play acnh why wld he use that server. but i Got Scared.#also ill tell u like the story of this first one which is that like. basically my sibling connected their phone to the internet at school#to reasearch smth and when they did they got a message from our mother abt watching a movie which was prob from sunday bc#apparently my mum was watching die hard then nd they joined for a bit idk but the fact that they got it now meant they kept being like#'thats weird do you guys think my phone is haunted i tihnk it might be' not entirely seriously#i also very like casually kept being like @na its probalby just a glitch those happen'#nd at some point i was very lightly like 'yk i dont think getting into the who thing of if ghosts exist is worth it when u cld just ask abt#the text message later' and rthe thing is fucking !!! my dad was literally agreeing with me !! but like he also seem somewhat actually like#upset and mad over my sibling saying their phone was haunted or at lest he was raising his voice and like seem mad to me#(i think he thought they were bieng fully serious abt the phone being haunted. nd that tht Not True bc it doesnt align w our religous#beliefs. but also idk if he brought up religon at all)#but the thing is my sibling was literally fine but like. auugh i got scared and freaked out#at some point i just put on my headphones nd tried to ignore it until he had moved on yay.#this happended in the car btw u guys need that context bc cars are eveil places for this reason parents are always Saying Shit there . augh#its so dumb like. this is why even when my parents r being fine i cant like. be around them. because they have caused me actual fr trauma#like intense trauma that impacts me every day bc i see them every fucking day. and i cant get away from it. so fun.#anyway. sorry this became a vent. SAD !#flappy rambles#vent
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astonmartinii · 7 months
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i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏
angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
enemies to lovers blah blah blah
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others
yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo
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user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers
user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him
maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying
yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx
maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me
yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby
user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them
charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track
yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre
charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first
yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch
charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear
maxverstappen1: that can be arranged
user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿
carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with
yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)
carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant
landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.
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user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic
yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted
yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx
maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car
yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.
maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?
yourusername: blocked.
user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?
user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot
danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken
yourusername: easy to do with a model like me
charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one
yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer
charles_leclerc: what?
yourusername: what?
user10: does anyone want to elaborate?
carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !
yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍
user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others
yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x
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user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her
maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world
yourusername: you softy, i love you
maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER
yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?
maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off
yourusername: noted.
user17: yall want to share with the class?
user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos
user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected
carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful
user20: bro this guy STINKS
user19: i told yall
yourusername: thank you carlos
user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos
charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way
yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself
charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?
yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc
charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower
yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down
user22: DO YALL MIND?
user23: do they think we're dumb?
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others
charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?
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user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?
user25: well this is oddly timed ...
yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands
charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know
yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself
maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨
charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people
yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie
charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)
sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?
yourusername: sorry seb :(
charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(
user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics
user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo
user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭
pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE
charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar
maxverstappen1: he's lying i do
pierregasly: WHAT
charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice
user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL
user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes
user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x
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user35: HOLY FUCK
user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord
yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child
charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?
yourusername: quite?
charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE
yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track
charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(
yourusername: but it's true, no?
charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more
maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it
user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years
sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now
maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?
sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious
yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3
user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad
yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad
charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle
maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together
charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)
carlossainz55: congrats guys
user39: it's okay bro you can cry
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x
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user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)
charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree
yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track
charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x
yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x
charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs
user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be
user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections
yourusername: oh it was very fun
charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol
maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys
yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us
maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers
user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?
maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out
charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?
maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma
yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x
note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx
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the-modern-typewriter · 10 months
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wgshdwgd im sorry if youre not accepting snippet reqs </333
but could i req you write abt a villain who *everyone* is genuinely terrified of. and then the hero just politely tells them to shut the fuck up. like, villain could be monologuing or smth and hero would cut them off saying that they would really appreciate it if villain could finish up in the next hour or so because they dont want to miss bargain day at the supermarket.
uwah im sorry if i broke any rules </33 stay safe its a crazy world out there <333
"-Could you please just shut up?"
There was a moment of absolute, horrified silence. One man promptly fainted. Nobody seemed to breathe for a few seconds.
The villain turned, slowly, towards the protagonist.
They were on their knees on the floor, surrounded by armed guards ready to execute the various staff still in their building. Their expression was one of exhausted long-suffering, one hand pinching the bridge of their nose as if to stave off a headache.
"Excuse me?" the villain asked, oh so softly.
"Will you please stop talking?" The protagonist dropped their hand, levelling the villain with a look. "Like, if you're going to slaughter the lot of us, just do it, don't make us listen to the spiel first. It's been forty five minutes."
"Are you so eager to die?"
"No. But if I'm going to die, I think I'd like to get it over with. Otherwise, I'd like to just go about my day. I need to buy food before the shop closes and takeaway costs a fortune. I mean, bloody hell. Forty five minutes. Do you really think anyone here is listening?"
The villain stared.
"Like, not to be rude," the protagonist said. "But they're all scared out their minds. They are not processing the finer points of your monologue. It's just so unnecessary."
"I could cut out your tongue and feed it to you."
"You don't have anything better to do?"
"I could cut out their tongues," the villain swept a hand around the room, "and feed them to you. That sorts out dinner, doesn't it?"
"I mean, I'm vegan, and not a cannibal, but I appreciate you're more concerned with being menacing than actually addressing the issue."
The villain stared some more.
The protagonist stared back.
"The data I need is still downloading," the villain said, after a long moment. "If I let you leave, someone will do something stupid like try and call the police."
"Sure, sure. But the monologue."
"You don't enjoy the sound of my voice?"
"I wouldn't take it too personally. It's been a week. Bit overstimulated, to be honest. Anyone's voice right now feels a bit like a cheese grater on my nerve endings."
"A bit like a cheese grater."
"No offense."
The villain blinked at them, slow and somewhat incredulous. "A cheese grater."
The protagonist shrugged.
"I'm assuming you didn't miss who I am in the last forty five minutes," the villain said.
"No."
"And yet."
"It's not that you're not terrifying," the protagonist said. "I just - forty five minutes. Humans aren't set up to be this stressed for forty minutes. My head is killing me. Processing all this - if you don't kill us - is going to be hard enough without having to fit in all the life admin I'm not currently getting done."
"Come here."
"...what?"
The villain crooked a finger to beckon the protagonist forward.
The protagonist swallowed, eyeing the villain warily, but didn't make them ask again. With a glance at the armed henchmen, they shuffled forwards to the spot the villain had gestured at their feet.
"You know," the villain said, "it's been a very long time since anyone has talked back to me."
"Sorry. I'm really not trying to be rude."
"No," the villain mused, head tilting with something alarmingly like curiosity as the protagonist came to a stop. "You're really not, are you? Turn."
"...turn?"
The villain gestured again, to indicate that the protagonist should face away from them.
"...You can't just give me all the orders at once? I get this is more dramatic, but I probably wouldn't be trying your patience as much if-"
The villain seized the nape of the protagonist's neck, like scruffing a kitten, making their breath catch.
Everyone watched for the inevitable torment. The punishment. The kill.
The villain's fingers dug into the knots of tension in the protagonist's neck, power sparking up the touch.
The protagonist sagged. "Holy shit," they breathed.
"Better?"
"Um. I mean - yes - but -"
"Good." The villain glanced up to the henchmen. "Shoot everyone else."
"What? Wait - no -"
The sound was deafening.
Then the silence was, once again, absolute.
"You didn't have to do that," the protagonist whispered. "I didn't mean - if I offended you -"
"Oh, you didn't, don't worry. That's why you're still alive. Tell me about yourself."
The villain's grip stayed unrelenting on the back of the protagonist's neck, holding them securely in place.
"T-tell-?"
"We still have ten minutes," the villain said, in a tone of great patience, "before the download completes. Tell me about yourself. I shouldn't be the one doing all the talking, after all. It's very rude of me, isn't it?"
Hesitantly, the protagonist talked, watching the blood pool on the floor. What else was there to do?
The computer finally gave a quiet beep to indicate that the download was complete.
"Good. Very good." The villain gave the protagonist's neck another gentle enough squeeze. "Now. Let's go grocery shopping," the villain said cheerfully. "Up you get. Dinner's on me."
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noeasyisnoisy · 28 days
Text
‼️TBB EP 10 & 11 SPOILERS BELOW CUT‼️
ep 10
who tf are these people
ykw good for you emerie
ARE WE FINALLY GONNA KNOW WHAT THE EMPIRE IS DOING
“YOUR responsibility” hemlock is setting her up for something 
kids?
OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS INQUISITORS I THINK
omg those poor kids :(
why is bro smirking like that HELP
oh my god they’re gonna take that child.
BANE AGAIN??
poor baby omg MY HEART
i have a soft spot for kids i’m sorry 
EVA IS ADORABLE
“when i’ll be going home.. can you find out for me?” IM IN PUBLIC IM GONNA START CRYING STOP
i don’t trust this green kid
CALLED IT
omg he just wants to go home IM GOING TO SOB
“i was following protocol” = “good soldiers follow orders”
why did i know his name would be jax
am i psychic or have we heard it before and i’m js forgetting
nala se 💔
“there is nothing i can do” YES THERE IS BE SO FR
NO NOT TARKIN 
ngl i’m kinda surprised tarkin doesn’t know abt the project
OH MY GOD
PHEE
NO
omg what if (if he’s tech) she snaps him out of it.
“how many others like this have you captured?” oh honey you have no idea
i can’t stop thinking about the baby and his mother and THIS IS REALLY SAD
DID THEY KILL JAX???
“we just wanna go home” STOP.
SHE KEPT THE HAY LULA
AND GAVE IT TO EVA
SHE KEPT THE HAY LULA AND GAVE IT TO EVA!!!!
i’m rooting for you emerie
ep 11
where are we
PHEE!!
oh my god phee. (i remembered the convo w maybe tech)
IS THIS A TRAP
ITS A TRAP
I CALLED IT
PHEE WATCH OUT
i’m trying so hard not to get up my hopes that it’s tech rn.
what did he grab 🤨
tbb’s location or smth maybe??
SHE KNOWS
sneaky bitch
maybe tech’s ship reminds me of padmé’s ship a bit
not exactly but kinda similar? maybe it’s js the general shape
PABU
NO
pabu’s gonna be gone
NO THE CADETS
oh god are they gonna leave right before pabu’s attacked 
TECHS GOGGLES.
GET OUT
STOP
AND LULA
OH MY GOD
i’m currently bawling my eyes out
notice how the island is completely in the dark
god i love lighting
HUNTER KNOWS
NO HE SEES HER
OMG NO
WRECKER KNOWS
holy fucking shit.
HOLY SHIT
HE BETTER BE ALIVE
IF THEY KILLED HIM ISTG
CAN I NOT CRY FOR TWO SECONDS
hunter knows
HOLY FUCK
I KNEW IT
PABUS GOING DOWN
ok this music slaps though
maybe tech feels like tech but the voice (accent, tone, everything) is SO different
my heart hurts omg
OMEGA SWEETIE NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT
“i’ve barely done anything yet” first of all BE SO FR second yep oahu is a goner
ok but protective crosshair hits different every time
BATCHER STOP
if they kill batcher.
OH THANK GOD HES ALIVE
JENNIFER YOU SCARED ME.
why was hunter taking out that trooper kinda..
EAT HUNTER
GOD HES HOT
maybe tech no. 
STOP
omgomgomgogmogmg
HES ALIVE BUT IM STILL SOBBING JESUS
I NEED TO CALM DOWN
OMEGA YOU ARE NOT GETTING CAPTURED
STOP IT.
she’s smart but it’s too risky
she’s grown up so much holy shit
“then you never should’ve come here in the first place” I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA KILL EVERYONE OMG
crosshair your hand better not start shaking.
HIS NOISE
HIS SIGNATURE NOISE
IN THE MUSIC
ITS BACK (it might’ve been back for a while but i didn’t notice it)
THANK GOD HUNTER
WET HAIR HUNTER⁉️⁉️⁉️
IM TOO HURT TO APPRECIATE FULLY THOUGH
update: i rewatched and that hair is NOT wet 😔
BATCHER!!!!!
oh my god hunter’s gonna be PISSED
i’m crying again
NONONO
HUNTER SAVE CROSS NOW.
NO
NO
NO
NO
omega what do you know
is she meditating
THE FORCE???
IS SHE GONNA TAP IN AND TELL THEM BC IDK WHAT ELSE THEYD DO
ok so my final thoughts are i am HURT and still crying WHAT THE FUCK JENNIFER
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crushedsweets · 7 months
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back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts
the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”
geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”
a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him
tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.
also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.
- anon 🌙
anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday
the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....
AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful
im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.
IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.
also yeah to the nat thing wow.
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wow. yeah. goddamn.
AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON
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shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......
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cl0wntwn · 6 months
Text
I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED TO TALK ABOUT MY CATHAL INTERP
ok hi wow i'm posting something that isn't what i usually do but i want to share because. idk i'm autistic abt cathal and my personal interp could be taken as a mischaracterization(?) of the character so i want to ramble. it's a mix of projections, my interpretations of things cathal says/does, and headcanons. this is just gonna be a glorified bulletpoint list with little to no organization im so sorry. this obviously be inspired by this post cause i love it so much i'm rotating it in my mind please go check it out. this whole ramble was supposed to go into the tags of that post but i think i can organize it better in a text post. i can also share it easier. but please go read that post if u haven't :D
first things first, cathal is depressed.
ain't that a shocker? he's been depressed for a while, but it never really got to "i don't want to do anything ever" until he was hired at C.O.G.S. inc., and even then it's not really the main reason. it does make it hard for him to do things that he's asked of. he's not incapable of doing things though, unless he's like. super unmotivated or sad.
cathal is a papa's boy.
he loves his dad. ever since he was a kid, he's loved his dad. he appreciates the patience he has with him, he appreciates that his dad is willing to take hit for him not doing his work, his dad is first and foremost in his mind. his dad comes before his own wellbeing. which goes into my next point well...
seeing his dad being destroyed every day hurts cathal bad.
it is the main reason he hates working at C.O.G.S. inc.. yeah, the work sucks, it leaves him drained most of the time (which i will hit later), but the fact that he has to watch his own father basically fall to his death every day makes it all so much worse. not to mention he has a clear view of it from his office.
how does cathal cope with this stuff?
by distracting himself. and not doing his work at all. the work he has to do already drains him and what little energy his depression gives him, but i don't think seeing your dad dying every day helps with motivation. he distracts himself by watching tv and ignoring what he needs to do.
this is not to say that he is unaware of the work he has to do, he knows all the work he puts off piles up on him. but piles of work doesn't seem like the most easy thing to do... so he just keeps putting it off and putting it off, and his dad lets him get away with it by making excuses for him. it stresses him out, which makes him not want to do it more, and the cycle continues...
also believe it or not, cathal actually thinks about the future and is very stressed about it.
he knows that when his dad either retires or... can't work anymore, cathal's going to be the new department lead. and because he has literally no experience working where he is now. he's scared he's gonna get thrown into work he doesn't know how to do or doesn't want to do.
so why did cathal apply at C.O.G.S. inc. in the first place?
short answer, he wanted to make his dad proud and didn't process the gravity of applying to C.O.G.S. inc.. he didn't think it would take so much effort and energy to work a full time job. but now that he's been in it for a while, he's afraid to quit. he doesn't want to upset his dad or make the lack of work he's done worse by throwing it on others.
aaaand that's all i can think of. if i can think of anything else i'll edit this post and reblog it or smth. thank u for reading <3
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sysmedsaresexist · 7 months
Note
like i do follow you and stuff and enjoy your content most of the time, this isnt meant to be an attack or smth, but i thought id point smth out. in that recent post you made abt blocking that guy, you said in the tags not to feed the trolls.
which is why im sending this ask, bc you do feed the trolls. pretty often and to this day you feed the trolls. you were reblogging stuff from thefakersystems 2 days ago, and are now saying not to feed the trolls?
this isnt really like a call out or me telling you to do anything or smth, just. something ive noticed. it actually really surprised me to see you say that, since you seem to not really care about feeding the trolls, so idk. just thought id say smth
I have a couple asks about trolls (A. Clown, ilu, yes, report), and there's one, very annoying, troll-like creature that annoys me personally, so I'm going to answer this
I like to rate trolls on two scales
Harmless to harmful
Boring to amusing
The one I recommended people block is harmful and boring
They made a blog and immediately started reblogging-- not MY posts, but my reblogs of OTHER people's positivity
That's not a danger or annoyance to myself, in this case, it's a danger to my followers and those I interact with
That means an immediate block from my blog, and a late night of checking for new blogs that might indicate round 2 (to reiterate, I was the only one they had reblogged from)
Unfortunately, I didn't catch that troll until their fifth reblog
I told those I know personally to block the blog before checking their notifications
To others, I'm sorry I didn't catch them on the first post, I'm sorry that you had to see depressing nonsense on amazing positivity posts
That's why I ALSO said in the tags, just block, there's nothing interesting to see, no amusement is going to come out of it, don't send them anons, just block and move on
Thefakersystem, on the other hand, is harmless and amusing, commenting lol on random posts and actually making me laugh at times-- they've really only reblogged my original posts, so they're not using my blog like it's a buffet of victims to pick from
They are not using my blog to attack others, they're not a direct threat to my followers or those I interact with
They're an annoying little background buzz that sometimes gets a chuckle. Everyone already knows they exist, so I don't need to tell anyone to be careful, and people either already have them blocked or know what to look for
Now, I did see that they may be involved in the anons going around, potentially the triggering ones
That's a bit different, now we have a problem, they've gone up to "mildly harmful question mark?"
I'm keeping an eye on the situation and will act appropriately, as needed
I don't know how long you've been around, but does anyone remember the shadow the hedgehog blog?
I actually spoke directly with that blog at the time and found out it was joke-- I was scared for them and my followers, so I do my due diligence where needed
But my followers can be rabid, and the shadow blog started getting death threats and suibait, and then I put a stop to it, on behalf of the TROLL, calling out those users specifically and making it very clear that this blog does not support that-- the users that sent those anons essentially ruined any fun that people were having-- and trust me, it was hilarious for most people, or I would have stopped it earlier
I have also been accused numerous times of coordinating mass reports against real users, so I need to be careful what callouts I make about who, and what I "ask" my followers to do, because there's no winning either way
And if you ARE the annoying, troll-like creature that I mentioned, you're a massive hypocrite and I hope you know everyone is laughing at you
Because if people weren't laughing, you'd be hard blocked
(If you're not that user, I hope this answers your question and helped ❤️)
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tigertofu · 9 months
Note
(Just wanted to say first of all, Handsome in an Ugly Way was the first gta fic I read when I got back into the fandom and it was, and still is, the best gta fanfic I’ve ever read, along with all of your other fics. They’re all perfect!)
Anyways! If you feel up to it and have the time, would you mind doing the DVD commentary thing for this part-
“He dismissed you with a wave of his hand.
You pursed your lips. Considered saying something. Considered taking up his offer to cuddle, even though your feet were itching to run you back home. But you kept your mouth shut, turned heel, and left.
You softly clicked the trailer’s front door shut behind you. Head bowed, you took a second to collect yourself. A breeze passed over you, chilling the lingering sweat and saliva clinging to your face.
The beginnings of regret simmered in your stomach. Maybe your fantasy should’ve remained a fantasy—just a foolish little daydream you could entertain yourself with when bored at work or in bed. Maybe you shouldn’t have let Trevor work you over so easily. Maybe you shouldn’t have let him fingerfuck you; shouldn’t have let him have his way with your mouth. He definitely hadn’t washed his hands before touching you. You shivered. You needed to shower. ASAP.
You started your walk home, eyes still pointed down at your shoes as you crossed over the rickety front porch.
Despite the feeling of dirtiness inside you, that magnetic pull still existed. If anything, it had grown stronger; you couldn’t deny it. You replayed Trevor’s frantic declaration of love in your head, and your heart tripped over itself.
You hoped he wasn’t mad at you now.”
(💕💕💕 !!! im always kinda surprised when ppl tell me they liked Handsome In an Ugly Way sm cuz i wrote it just to be disgustingly self-indulgent 😅 but im glad to hear u like it !! srsly im honored, TYSM 🙏🙏🙏)
ok so this was from chapter 1 (sad that my memory is so shit i had to look up what chapter this came from)). chapter 1..... i was (still kinda am) experimenting w/ my writing style in this fic. me and looooong sentences have a love/hate relationship so i like forced myself to reserve the longer sentences for the more ~significant~ parts. that's why "Maybe your fantasy should've remained a fantasy — just a foolish little daydream you could entertain yourself with when bored at work or in bed." is the longest here cuz ooh i wanted that shit to have Weight
now smth that ive always been drawn to exploring/writing abt in my fics is, like,, the reservations one might have after realizing theyre attracted to trevor. cuz like cmon. ik that if i personally were in this situation irl i would be RIDDLED with confliction. like that clashing of "ohhh, i shouldnt.. he smells like death and is literally a murderous meth addict who recreationally shits behind dumpsters" with "oh but hes so hot why is he so hot" is just so ripe with interesting implications and the potential for storytelling. and drama the DRAMA
hm also. ive worked v hard to keep Reader going down this path in this fic w/out it becoming TOO similar to Kacie's story. like yes Reader is still mildly scared of him (("You hoped he wasn't mad now.")) but she isnt pissing her pants over it, and he is not being Too Terrible to her.. that may change a bit as the story progresses and she learns more abt him tho....
another thing: i wanted to immediately give smth for Reader to latch onto, to fuel her lil crush and make it clash even harder w/ those "oh i shouldnt. i rlly shouldnt" feelings, hence trevor's "I love you" during their first hookup (and just cuz yk. he totally would). hes just so charming 🥰🥰🥰
ty again for sending this in !! 💞💞 i hadnt read this bit of this fic in a long time so it was fun going back over it like this :D
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Hiiii im gonan sleeps oon but i want you alllll to know ur all myf rieds .... even tho i onyl talk 2 like 3 of you .... we are allllfriends everyone who sees this is my friend everyone whk sees my posts we are ...f riends. Also if u want me to make a list plssss do j liek makign lists ... and. Stuff. Especially whe tbehre jrwi related. Get me to make a, list and ill doit, . I can even make a list of. So kuch. Colours. Leaves. Flowers. Cloud formations. Rock formations eventho i dint know much abt them. Lists and lists sooo mny lists. Im the list man. I also like making intelligable diagrams in...mspaint. butnyea. Any list i can do 4 you. Psl ask me to make lists pslsplsplsllls i love listing thing
s. I will even list top 10 characters in ur url and why. Or assign colours to posts. Or. Assigning colours to things is fun. Also textures. Im very autistic just oike the rest of this webbed site but i rpomsie i will make so manh lists forever and ever and ever. Top 10s r hard tho when im not given examples. I cant do top 10 words in the english language bc i have a bad memroy and i fprgot what words we have. But if u give me a group of words i can list them for you. Anhthign. List.... s ar efun. Very fu .n
Goodnight now tho ill list in the mornigng. Top 10 things to do:
1. Sleep
2. Cat
3. Cat is jow a thing u ca n do
4. Friends :3<33333333
.5.t he humber 3. Irs very versatile
6 . Making art with ur hands or mind or voice or your you.
7. Chilling foreber and breaking rj,ez (the rules are thwt you need to do things)(they are lying do whtever you want foreber and do mtohjng ever and go awya)
8. Firiends
9. Eatign
10. Drinjgn beverages. And waye.r thats a beverage
Also. A list of. Things i am allergic to:
1. I thinks tmh in makeup remover.
2. We dont knwom tho
.3 maybe kiwi. Ive never had it. Mt grandmas allergic to kiwi
4. Also maybe bee stings ivenever been stung bh a bee so idk.
. 5. Erm., shcool. Blwo it up FOREVER ?!!!! NOw. And then we will all be happy
And finally a list of genders i am:
1. a girlieeeeee a girllllll yippeeee teeheeee girliesssss <33333 :33333
2. Simply a guy a dude a bro a dudebroguy but a Scared one. Who doesnt know the rules.
3. A girllbrooooo but a scared one still. Who is sexy to some people and cringe to others. But is sevretly sexy to them too
4. Whatever fits jn with whoever i am arounddd <3333 we are guyss having boys night no girls allowed we are girliesss having girlsss nightttt teehee no boyzzz.
5. Minecraft ost
6. Will woods albums mINUS THE ONE THAT CAME OUT WHEN I WAS IN FRANCE. THAT ONE SOUNDED GOOD BUT KY FRANCE TRIP SUCKED. All th3 others r me tho.
7. Tank tops and alsl skirts and also graphic tees
8. Timothy rand
9. Dude what if i used he/she pronouns how wicked would that be. Only on here tho anywhere else theyd skin me alive
10. Aall my punctuation in sentences like. Dude bro man omg sick woag wtf like ... wicked sick. Wicked sicked. Wick sick. Candlestick. Gonna dtart saying smoly hokes.
11. Smth that pisses off everyone at school sooooooooo much they hate me sooooo mcuh they are huntjng me for sport i dropped out of sport bc they hated my ass too much.
12. A kitty cat
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tezzbot · 2 years
Note
Osomatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu (🏳️‍🌈💌💔🧸🪀💬🎃🔊)
not gonna do all of these for all 3 ive been trying since last night my brains gonna melt lmfao
🏳️‍🌈 lgbt hc
osomatsu thats a dyke
jyushimatsu i think w regards to gender probably doesnt give tht much of a fuck tbh. hes just jyushimatsu also woman liker
todomatsu uhhh . hm idk.. theres smth fruity going on there i mean look at it. not sure how id label him hes like a lgbt what all at once type u know HDHJDG
💌 fluff hc
osomatsu has always really loved horse racing even before he had a gambling addiction lol i think as a kid hed go to the library or smth and just Read n Learn about horses and races in general thats the tism baby he knows literally everything you ask him who won whatever race in like 1976 he Knows its like scary impressive (literally how else wld he remember horse racing results from Ten Years In The Past in the movie!!!!) if you gave him a horse he would fully know how to take care of it
jyushimatsu and homura, tho not dating cus i dont think theyre ldr kinda people, they do still stay in contact, they talk on the phone n write each other letters tgey r the world
some of the friends todomatsu has do legitimately enjoy hanging out with him like the barista girls what r their names. aida and s. saachi? they like him a lot! as a friend! he just is in the mindset of im bottom of the social barrel so he doesnt always see it lol
💔 angst hc
do i even need to do this these guys r miserable little freaks as is lmfao
osomatsu. cant think of anythin original just uknow usual. childhood trauma, dependency issues, oldest child 3rd parent syndrome, etcetc
jyushimatsu feels bad abt how he treated ppl in high school, despite the fact tht it was a defence mechanism he didnt Like being so angry all the time :( its why he tries so much to make people happy now. tht anger does still make its appearances but hes better with it now
🧸hurt/comfort hc
osomatsu when he feels like trashgarbage will go and find one of his brothers and if he finds one of them in the house he'll go n sit by them n try strike up a conversation but if hes feeling like considerably bad he'll just sit and maybe lean against them just for the pressure remind him that theyre there keep him grounded
💬 fav line
jyushimatsu - literally all of his big long stupid internal monologues are great but literally the best line in the show is "Samples, my guy" it legitimately made me laugh So loud when i first watched that episode by myself
🎃 sth i think theyre afraid of
osomatsu hemophobia not a fan of blood, why he freaked out so bad in the movie over a scuff
jyushimatsu probably claustrophobic n being restrained fr long not of his own accord, man needs to fidget
todomatsu literally so scared of seeing the hat man in the dark. he watched one five nights at freddys video in 2015 and now his brain thinks hes gonna see bonnie in the bathroom at night he closes the door facing into a room so he has a full view of the room w his back On the door to make sure he hasnt been followed despite the fact he Knows he hasnt. just in case lol (no i am not projecting [lying])
🔊song that reminds me of them
oso - get well city by felix hagan and the family (a lot of their songs make me think Matsus in general tbh lol)
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jyushi- dumb dumb by mazie
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todo is kinda hard to nail down but - secrets by p!nk
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kidfoundonstreets · 2 years
Text
last post
walking into his room like hiiiiiiiii sirius pov switch cant have noel having too much thoughts THAT IS NOT CAT SCRATCHING DOOR SOUNDS BUT ITS SO CUT EOH MY GJFDFHDROIQH3EROIQ3HE31OI CAT BRINGS EVEYRBDOIY OTGETEHR!! I LOVE CAT even if it might mean smth bad because black cats are known to be bad luck (even though thats complete and utter bullshit) but its also part of the monsters EVEYRBODY HAVINBG THE HEART REACITON TO THE KITTY ME TOO ME TOO noel claire and sirius interactions lets hecking GO yoiud think sirius would be heartless but nah if the cat must be fed the cat must be fed
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OIH NMY GOD THEYA RE EFVRYTHING TMOME WHY DOES THE CAT LOOK SO CUTE. THEY ALL LOOK SO CUTE. THE WAY NOELS LOOKING AT CLAIRE. THE WAY SIRIUS IS JUST BEIGN PRETTY BOY. THE WAY CLAIRE IS BEING CLAIRE. IM SO FUCKIGNS AD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS CG ITS INSTANTLY ON EOF MY FAVS thank frick is sirius disliked cats i dont think id ever be able to forgive him rest in peave books........................ dogs are worse when it comes to organizing maybe sirius should just get a fish or a pet rock like a nerd (affectionate) SIRUSY CATBOY!! SIRIUS CATBOY!! SIRIUS CATBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO DRAW THAT SO TRUE CLAIRE ther sibligns ever... leaving claire alone with the cat gives me a bad feelin g but alr alr
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ITS BEEN DROPPED,, the flashback though. agh. it makes me wonder if he’ll become more protective over claire sirius really is the best person to know about this but his mental state is so fragile if its tampered with the wrong way
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dead on the floor. this game is just feeding me so much info and man i am LIVING for it it took so many loops to get to this point but man its happenign1! real!! but im just scared that ashe ansd wilardo might do something before then or overhear.d ahghjhhg. the murder is always sudden LOOK I LOVE SIRIUS AND I KNOW THAT ON IMPULSE THERE IS THE SLIGHTEST HCANCE HE’D KILL FOR DOROTHY BUT HE ALREADY THINKS SHES ALIVE AND SHE WOULDNT BE PROUD OF HIM but also i think like noel said he isnt the type of person to do that at all just. i fjhjkhhgh they make me so emotional WHAT. IS. UP. WITH. NOEL. WHY IS HE LIKE THAT WHATS HAPPENING TO HIM I STILL DONT GET IT IT COULD JUST BE STRESS BUT WHAT IF IT IS SOMETHING WORSE “just like lady dorothy” ouch. i really wonder whatr hes going to do now,, claire hows it feel reminding so many people of the dead
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rouge looking genuinely slightly worried >>  guess she just got reminded of ashes wish ashe we can all agree is pthe most desperate one here the death rates literally prove it. idk  agh. so much could be wrong if noel chooses someone that betrays him?? i dont know i dont know HTE THING WITH THIS GAME IS THAT THEY ALL HAVE SNESIBLE WISHES BUT. GHHGHGJGHH
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bbbbbbb babygirl there are so many things wrong with you. please stop IM GETTING SO UPSET OVER NOEL I REALLY FEEL LIKE ITS GOING TO GET WORS EAND WORSE AND THE FACT HRE WAS JUST THINKING ABT NICHOLAS BEFORE IT UGHKJHGKH BUT HE NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS IF HE WANTS TO GET ANYTHING DONE I DONT KNOW his body is destroying itslef even after this will it have a permanent effect  wait if the demon affected him that much of a time ago then why didnt it happen earlier./... why at the worst times side lime time my beloved according to the intro she gets a lot more screentime i think? or maybe all the demons do so hell yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MUSIC GOES SO HARD ANFD FOR WHAT lim e what thwe ruck okay listen!! i love her!! i think shes a really cool chafractwer and has a nice deisng + personality but when it comes to this i want to dropkick her to the absolute sun  wilardo being weak to emotions even after all these years. gn.
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girl . shut up at this point youre just reaching in for your own desires you just want someone else to suffer or be like you ughyejkghgrheghghgh. shes not wrong. but thats because ashe cared so much that he cant move on. hes stuck in denial because he doesnt want to accept it him becoming a demon would be the complete opposite of what his family would want. but then again it feels like hes thrown that away with all of the things hes done but UGHYGH ITS COMPLICATED just jfc driving him insane with his own dreams idk man ashe desevres so much better please let him get proper therapy and help hes been so isolated lime stop self projecting and talkjing to yourself stop catching other people up in your misery i am so done killing them all noel would never do that even if he did he’d just feel so much unbearable guilt he’d feel no different than his father  idk idk i love this game :’D
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from those 69 ttrpg q's u rb'd on nov 10th and since you need me to "split it up" because its "too much to send 12 questions at once" or SMTH heres pt 1 🙄🙄🙄 anyways vicky. 1, 5, 7, 9, 17, 21.
omg wtfff outing me so hard in front of EVERYONE? in PUBLIC SIR? my partner is SO mean to meee
ANYWAY link back to the 69 ttrpg asks i GUESS
1. what drives them? what’s their ultimate goal?
hmmm a hard one to start with... i suppose hes driven by ... the need to have monie most of all! money makes the world go round as he might say... his ultimate goal in life would be in a comfortable place money wise so his daughter can go to college and him and his bf could live at a nice house c: (secret other ultimate goal is to become famous and have a huge mansion but he hasnt thought abt that goal in a minute)
5. is there something they want to be known for?
not really! hes in a weird middle ground where he totally enjoys not being known but he also really wants to have his hard work recognized, but also if anyone is overly nice to him he'll get like . mad . like stop . i know ur bullshitting man 🙄 i mean ofc like i said in the last uestion he WOULD like to be famous but like its different when its someone u kno vs a faceless crowd of supporters you know?
7. there’s a magic item (or technological innovation, or special resource) made just for them—what is it?
hmmmm good question... something that could grand wishes probably! vicky very much is someone that wants stuff to just HAPPEN he isnt much on working towards goals... or at least he gets frustrated when he thinks hes done what he needs to reach a goal and it doesnt happen... other than that maybe something to bring people back from the dead OR let him die forever... that part i feel is obvious, part of him knows he might outlive his bf and his daughter and it makes him upset :( bc someone puts all his eggs in one person basket then gets SUPRISED when he loses them. silly.
9. when in their life were they most scared?
absolutely when he was about to die the first time ever, like imagine being 15 and accidentally fucking up and thinking ur life is abt to be over forever. like come on. reality hits him right there and hes like oh god im not invincible . but then he is and i think that also scared the SHIT out of him... bc what do u do then... this is a guy who doesnt really think too much about himself and now suddenly he finds out hes got powers... he thinks hes like a monster or smth and doesnt know what to do w himself... plus his mom gets scared of him when he goes home and so thats making him even more fucked up but dw in a few hours/days he will be back to himself and not think about any of this :)
17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry?
ok so theres actually suprisingly alot that can make vicky cry! even though hes a bit of an emotionally repressed guy he still gets teary eyed over like movies, his daughter being really sweet, but something that REALLY makes him cry is like ... feeling hopeless.. this also mixes with anger for a very fun hysteria if he breaks down enough :)
21. do they have an idea about how they’ll die? do you?
im assuming you mean like . the final time but i really have no clue! though ive been imagining old age ...with abel beside him... something sweet and softer than his usual deaths ... smth different u kno.. for a guy whos so used to violence
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mechawolfie · 8 months
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wait there was smth i wanted to say abt that "how did u get into/how do u imagine you'll get into a relationship" poll but i forgot but i remember now. under a read more bc I'm shy uwu
so like i said in the tags, big fan of the "be autistic @ each other until we realize we've fallen in love" approach. but in terms of my actual genuine expectation i've thought very much about id rather it be like. an aro autistic sort of commitment. u know like, we make the conscious decision to Try Something Out, discuss the type of relationship we want, & see where it goes.
but yeah feelings been messing me up. & i know i don't Need to listen to my feelings bc chemical reaction or w ever but i feel like i have to dissect every feeling i don't understand & get into the meat and organs of it so i fully understand it so it doesn't Scare Me Anymore. but that's like hard when u have a hard time Feeling your Feelings. bc of Alexithymia (GREAT song by anberlin. btw)
anyway im hungry but im waiting for my chicken patty to cook so I'm kinda oughhh rn. so.
now i am someone that, bc of my sheltered upbringing, likes to experience things that I'm curious abt. this includes relationships. i'd like to try them bc i like the thought. but also there's this idea in western society that relationships need to happen Naturally. which trips me up a bit as someone who 1) can't just Go Out And Meet People and 2) don't like the traditional ideas of relationships (meet > realize we're "in love" > all the gushy shit or w ever). like it's very incidental & i like to do things On Purpose. n maybe that's a little bit my need to have control over things. just a little bit.
theres also the fact that itd need to be, initially, a ldr bc the above mentioned Can't Just Go Out. which a lot of ppl don't like i've found !
oh yeah. there's also the thing where i am. let's see here. black, trans (in a "weird" way)(and pre-everything), so many types of neurodivergent & mentally ill, not very active bc of chronic pain, stuck w my family & cant drive, and pretty strictly t4t. all things that make Living Amongst Other People sort of Uncomfortable, specifically around ppl who don't like to acknowledge that they might have internalized some Bigoted Shit, and like to make it My Problem.
i cant. remember where i was going with that. like i think I'm trying to go somewhere but I'm too gosh dang hungry to remember. i think what I'm trying to say is that i want to try dating, it sounds fun (especially now that i've accepted that I Am A Guy. like woah.. you're telling me i can HAVE a gay relationship??? like in my fics????? no way) BUT. is scawwy. and finding someone who would be compatible with me, whatever that means exactly, sounds. hard.
WAIT my chicken patty just finished. i just heard the oven go Ding! swag
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