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getyourdirtyhandsoffme · 5 months

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D-RIDING?! PART ONE

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

GENDER: FTM READER

SUMMARY: You are quite a popular YouTuber who makes random content for your fans to enjoy until one day you got drunk and "accidentally" posted a tweet in your official account making it go viral for not only the world to see, but even a certain idol you had a crush since 2019.

GENRE(S): Comedy, Fluff, A bit explicit (in part one), hurt/comfort a bit

WARNING(S): Didn't really proof read it or use a Grammer site to fix anything. If I got anything wrong well..ill fix it when I'm not tired (or not). If you haven't seen any BuzzFeed's thirst tweets, you have been warned. The reader is going through every stage of grief. Mentions of drinking, you being drunk, mentions of "Dick Riding", a few of thirsty comments. You're getting called "Pretty Boy." Explicit comments but nothing action, yet. You are a bottom (sorry y'all!) Kinda cringe. You fanboying non-stop.

CAREER: Idol-Bang Chan (26) + Youtuber-Y/N (25)

OTHER(S): all edited by me. Chan has a private channel but he did reveal his YouTube account in this story. Ethan, Antione and SanaVana are your best friends.

Some mistakes on the edits as well but wtv

Please reblog, like or/and comment!

(We are going to pretend this is around SKZ LALALA Era, thank you very much! Not restarting the edits!)

You couldn't believe your eyes when you opened Twitter (Or X...) As you see thousands of notifications of a certain post you made when you were drunk with your friends at a birthday party.

You felt yourself wanting to scream but all you could do is stare in shock, having your mouth hanging a bit while reading the comments stating that your idol, Bang Chan from StrayKids, read your tweet.

Not in private, but apparently he finally accepted an interview with BuzzFeed to read Thirst Tweets.

Since when did he have the balls to do that?

You groaned as you even saw the hashtags that were trending: #YnnityD-RIDE #BangChanThirstTweets #BuzzFeedBangChan #YnnityMoment

You honestly wanted to cry because you didn't know how to face your fans when you make a live stream later. You promised the fans that you were going to play that one horror game that your fans have been requesting.

At this point, you thought about just cancelling it while disappearing. Dramatic but you couldn't help it.

The Bang Chan read your tweet.

Well, you never saw the video and honestly you didn't want to. You found out that your tweet was not only read but even edited into the thumbnail with Bang Chan fine ass self beside it from a friend's screenshot.

You were mentally regretting this while weeping but you didn't want to disappoint your fans from a promise you made so you calmed yourself as you got ready to Go Live.

You place your mouse pad down and then connect a few wires into your computer. You went to your channel as you Go Live, with a title going by "Gaming and reacting to a certain video."

Just by that title, everyone immediately clicked the live.

You sat there, nervously biting your lip out of habit while fixing yourself in front of the camera.

You even waved to everyone while trying not to seem like you about to trust fall on top of a building.

"As you may see from this title, you probably know what certain video I'm going to watch, yes?"

Everyone commented "yes" while a few sent question marks but other than that they are curious of what the video is and my reaction.

"I didn't see the video yet but I immediately clicked on the app, saw my notifications, saw what's trending and even a screenshot from my friend. I am crazy embarrassed. I was drunk and the fact that she saw me tweeted this is the most crazy part. I knew she was my enemy since DAY ONE!" You shouted a bit at the end, joking but honestly not really as you make a dramatic 'number one' finger in front of the camera.

"Anyways, I already got it set up, just let me know if you guys can hear it or not..."

You mentally screamed as you tried to click on the video but you were so hesitant that the fans called you out on it.

"Y'all, we got it! Hold up, I'm just scared of how he is going to react! Ahhh!" You grabbed your forehead as you finally clicked on it.

You watched as Chan nervously laughed at the camera while introducing himself with his hot Australian accent. You felt yourself smiling as you tried not to fanboy just by his introduction.

"Ah, Hello everyone and my lovely stays! My name is Bang Chan, the leader of StrayKids, you can even call me Chris, and today...I'm finally reading your crazy thirst tweets. I don't know how I mentally agreed to this but I am curious so let's get started shall we, BuzzFeed?"

Chan chuckles nervously as he holds a plastic container full of thirst tweets.

You commented how cute he was while admiring him, ignoring slightly at your fans chat box, even not noticing a certain someone has joined your live stream and even commenting as well making the chat go crazy as they try to grab for your attention.

You continue on watching, make a few comments on the thirst tweets, stating that you agreed with half of the tweets he was reading while cooed on his blushing face:

"I want to ride his big nose"

"I wonder what else is big besides his nose, feet and butt if you know what I'm saying"

"I want that man to manhandle me so bad, it's not funny anymore."

"I want him to fuck me so bad! Uhhh PLEASE DADDY!"

You couldn't help help but laugh at a few, almost forgetting that your tweet was in this video until finally, almost at the end of the video, he pulls the last strip of paper and reads:

"Dick Riding? Yes I am. I'm jumping, hopping, creaming, screaming and latching...onto this man dick until we can't anymore. And in parentheses. We not stopping."

Chan covers his face while laughing as he re-reads the tweet again.

"Jeez, this person really must have that much energy to be going in several rounds. Not only that, this person is verified...how confident you are to send this in your official account. Not gonna lie, I feel like I know who this is..."

He squints as he tries to remember.

"I'll probably figure it out later but thank you! I don't think I have enough energy for that but we can try, yeah? Haha!"

Your eyes wide as you literally scream, jumping around and running around the room then stop running as you walk back, rewatching that clip again.

"Wait, he knows me? HE RECOGNIZES MY ACCOUNT- WAIT WHOA!" That's when you sat down on your gaming chair, literally looking like you were about to sink into the floor as you make your eyes focus on the chat that seems to be spamming non-stop.

You lean in, reading the chat as you questioned them what's wrong until you notice a channel you recognized. Of course who wouldn't recognize it, you literally have a crush on him.

The one and only Bang Chan was watching your live.

At this point, you just accepted your fate as you face palmed yourself as more comments started laughing at you.

"Om my goodness, this cannot be real. Ain't no way you are watching this stream..." You nervously said as you see him commented how cute you were.

You smiled as you started to fanboy again.

"This is so embarrassing you guys!"

Time went by as you ended your live stream. You immediately grabbed your phone and laid down on your bed as you opened Twitter (X) to see Bangchan following you.

You followed him back immediately which I guess it got his attention as he immediately texted you.

CB97: Hey, Y/N! It's nice to finally meet you, well through text that is, haha!

Ynnity: I can't believe you not only read my tweet and joined my live, you even FOLLOWED ME IN HERE!? You must be crazy!

CB97: Of course, I even have you subscribed and followed your Instagram on a private account!

CB97: And crazy? Aren't you the crazy one who sent a tweet on your official account stating you wanted to, and I quote, "Jump, hop, cream, scream, and latch onto my dick non-stop" pretty boy?

Ynnity: HELLO?

CB97: Haha, I'm just saying. Plus, you're funny so why not become friends. I'm quite a big fan of you!

You stared at his text, mostly the part when he called you a "Pretty boy" made you roll around the bed, giggling like a damn school girl. Even surprised that he was a big fan, making even more embarrassed since you always mentioned him in certain videos.

Ynnity: Sure!

Ynnity: hope you don't mind how awkward I'm going to be for a bit..I'm still embarrassed.

CB97: That's fine! I don't mind and there isn't anything to be embarrassed about baby, it's cute how you reacted

CB97: You really do love me, huh? Hahaha

You rolled your eyes as you typed your response.

Ynnity: yeah yeah whatever

CB97: Acting like that even though I literally watched your live stream and saw you admiring and commenting my every move

CB97: Anyways, I read a few of your tweets and one caught my eye

CB97: well, besides that thirst tweet, that's my fav-

CB97: That you are going to see our concert, yeah?

All you did was send a 'thumbs up' emoji, indicating that it was true that you saved up money to be in front row seats to see SKZ performance on the 3rd day.

CB97: Cool! Can't wait to see you in person! However, I need to get back to work, I'll talk to you...well you text me when you are up! Bye bye, pretty boy!

YNNITY: don't overwork yourself old man and yes bye bye to you as well!

You laughed when Chan sent a 'thumbs down' emoji as you turned off your phone, smiling again at the ceiling. You couldn't believe it, you can't wait to go to their concert in three days.

Two days have already passed as you already got dressed up for this concert.

Today is the 3rd and last day of their performance.

You are wearing a black waist coat where your belly and other skin is showing along with a leather black jacket, baggy black pants with a nice star belt around It, a spikey silver necklace and black shoes.

You brought a coat just in case it gets cold as you took pics and uploaded it onto Twitter (X), feeling cute.

You rolled your eyes at your friend's immediate response to your tweet as you walked out of your house, stepped into your car as you get ready to pick up the three dorks.

While driving to their destination, you couldn't help but think about what Chan texted you yesterday.

He is excited to see YOU.

You were biting your lip as you tried to not show a smile when you picked up Antione and apparently Ethan who were standing outside of Antione house, waiting.

They both ran inside, Antione taking the front row while Ethan sit in the back.

You then drove off again to pick up Savannah while the two teased you non-stop about getting noticed by your so called 'Future Husband' which they did stop after you threatened them that you will crash this car if they don't shut up.

You finally picked up Savannah who was excited to see StrayKids, mostly seeing all the pretty lady fans as she comments about wanting to see this one girl that she has been texting the last 5 months.

You laughed with your friends, easing your anxiety down. You all couldn't wait to go while singing, well trying to sing, the songs on the radio.

You all made it into the concert, immediately at the front seat, waiting for the concert to start. Antione had his banner ready, holding a sign that says "Changbin, date me!"

Ethan holds up a LeeBit Plushie, shaking it around while holding a picture of Lee Know next to it.

Savannah holds a sign that just says "The Lesbians (Me) loves you!"

You did think about bringing a sign but all you brought was yourself and friends along with a small Wolfchan keychain hanging around your belt area.

A bunch of fans have showed up—some recognized you as they asked to take pictures, which of course you said yes, taking a few while waving them goodbye. Even Savannah gets to meet the woman that she was talking about, laughing and flirting a bit.

As all of you continue on chattering while the whole stadium gets filled with a bunch of fans, the screens turn on showing a special StrayKids clip, showing all the members walking and posing.

Everyone screams along with you and your friends as well as you see them rising up from below the stage, into positions, ready to perform Megaverse.

You smiled, jumping a bit as the loud music started playing along with fans chanting.

You took out your phone as you started to record while singing some of the lines.

Throughout the whole concert, you and Chan were flirting around when he found you while performing Blind Spot.

He couldn't help but smile in your direction while giving you small hearts. He even goes up to you sometimes, singing a few lines—teasing you—as he walks off.

Even your friends teased you about it, again.

The concert was about to end, your whole body was practically tired from all the screaming and standing up for too long but it was worth it.

All the members lined up as they all said their thankful speech, waving all of them goodbye and couldn't wait to see their fans again next time.

You and your friends left as you forced Ethan to drive since you were so tired.

You were sitting in the front row while Antione and Savannah talked amongst themselves, sometimes Ethan joining in. While that was happening, you open Twitter to see a bunch of notifications again.

Some @ you, showing pictures with your fans along with pictures or videos of you having a moment with Chan.

You smiled as you liked all of them until you got a text from Chan, you clicked the message notification and read what he has sent you.

CB97: Hey, did you enjoy the concert?

CB97: Also you look very handsome with that outfit, very alluring.

You giggled quietly as you quickly replied to him.

Ynnity: of course I enjoyed the concert and thank you! I did say I was trying to attract people in my tweets~

CB97: You did.

CB97: You even got me as well, that one comment from your friend made me laugh that you wanted to be in my Dingie Doom Dum haha!

Ynnity: Well, what if I do? What you going to do about it hm?

Not sure where all that bravery came from but you did it. You waited for him to respond as you did see him trying to type something.

CB97: Well aren't you a brave one.

CB97: why don't you find out. I'll come to you unless you are just trying to flirt. I don't mind as long as you don't mind, love

CB97: I can make that thirst tweet into reality~

You froze as Ethan made it to his house. Seems like you were the only one left as you both stepped out, hugged each other and left.

You stepped back into your car, turning it on and drove off. You wanted to respond, but you didn't want to drive while text so you kinda drove home as fast as you can, feeling yourself getting too excited.

When you made it home, you quickly parked as you stepped out of the car and ran to the front door of your house, unlocking it.

You took out your phone again and responded to him.

Ynnity: Sorry, I was driving

You hesitated for a bit even though you were the one who started it until you finally typed out what you wanted to say.

Ynnity: I don't mind, but how are you supposed to get here? You rented a car?

You took off your shoes, placing them on a shoe rack as you take off your clothes while walking to your bedroom.

You dumped your clothes in a laundry bag, opening the closet to grab your pajamas then walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

Your phone buzzed. You grab and see what he has said.

CB97: I did actually.

CB97: Send me your location, I will be there after I take a shower

You bit your lip as you sent your location, turning your phone off after that.

You step inside the shower, feeling the nice warmth of water hitting your skin as you fantasize about Chan kissing you and touching you.

You wanted this and the fact it's with your idol crush turns you on. You couldn't wait as you continued on taking a shower.

TO BE CONTINUED...

PART ONE -> PART TWO (COMING SOON)

I never wrote smut before 🐺 this sht gonna be crazy. I'm about to fight for my life.

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awakened-void-deity · 2 months

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Hey i need to tumblr more um

Pokemon artdump GO

Most of these are my poketrainer sona cuz ive been insanely mentally ill now ive finally, after over 10 years, got a pokemon game...he originated in Hoenn, catching and training Rayquaza in that region who now is one of his most loyal partners. From travelling to Paldea, most of his team is new! He likes to have a new main "team" per region he visits, however he does most commonly go to Unova (hi, this is because unova was my first introduction into pokemon back when it was kinda pretty new, thats why). Second to last image shows how he looked back in Hoenn, he was definitely Rayquaza's biggest fan (sorry zinnia) but that didnt stop him yk. Doing what the player characters usually do. Last one was because god damn volo inspired me and yk my trainer sona isnt the Most sane...(his raidons and Rayquaza are his biggest support net, being almost service pokemon at this point...which he compensates for with lots of loves and treats the best he can). He makes different outfits for every region he visists, which is why his outfit differs so much from back in Hoenn- simply just for the sake of "why not?" (Also, im just really mentally ill over ol slither wing...im sane im sane im sane i). Oh yeah and the ball one with kommo-o is because in violet i set up a picnic and threw out the ball for enrichment because my pokemon may be pixels on a screen but i treat them as real animals should be and being couped up in a ball sounds Horrible And Awful and makes me Cringe so i let them out forever always and my kommo-o specifically targeted me with the ball, it made me laugh so i drew her being a little shit (affectionate). My trainer sona is about as human as youre gonna get from one of my sonas im gonna be honest with you, drawing a people without claws feels wrong.........

The pokesonas are also redesigns from way back when i first got into pokemon, theyre a good 9/10-ish years old now lol, im suprised i even remembered them...i did have a friend who indirectly reminded me of them though so i suppose that helps lolll

The charizard was just cuz i have an irrational dislike towards the charmander line but caught the marked tera raid 'zard for the sake of having all three. I do not like him <3

Also finally, N, the guy i am only a little obsessed with ever since i got into pokemon but uh idk that much seems obvious doesnt it? Hes so me fr forever and ever (this is a bad thing) (i should not relate as deeply as i do)

Anyway lore and art dump over bye guys see you in the next three months

#moth makes the arts #pokemon black and white #n harmonia #pokemon n #pokemon bw #yuh oh im invading the pokemon tags sorry folks #woe neurodivergence be upon ye !! whoopsies !!#natural harmonia gropius #whyd they name him that ghetsis what is wrong with you can i punch you in the face dont answer that im going to #these tags are a mess im half awake its middnight guys #no one even reads these what am i doing

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thehumanversionofthishellsite · 1 year

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may or may not have stayed up all night reading this book as soon as I could get my hands on it but anyway I have some thoughts and most of them are screaming.

I really loved the book. Did it have flaws? Yes. Do I care? No. I'm 22, the targeted age range is something like 10-16. When I first got into this series I was the same age as nico. It's been a long journey getting older and changing and healing. Seeing that for Nico was all I really wanted from this book.

Also, realistic relationship struggles and growth!! Loved that!! Having a chronic illness is hard, your partner watching you suffer with it is also hard for them!! Having conversations and misunderstandings and awkward moments is how it goes!! After being in a 3 year relationship with someone I love very much I'm like,,, yes!! Thank you!! I have lifelong chronic illness!! It's not going away I gotta learn to live with it it's a part of me!! My partner struggles with it but is trying so hard and I love them so much!!! But I'm so much more than a pile of suffering and that's the point!!! You choose to keep trying and that's the point the book makes!! there's a whole scene about it and it's so important!!! Will starts to be more accepting and understanding and we love to see it! Nico accepts he needs to let himself move on and that it's ok to do that and not be angry with your past self for trying to stay alive!!

I make no sense and I don't care. But also, they're cringey and memey and dumb. They're hysterical and going a little bit crazy and they love each other and like, I'm not ok. Neither are they. Its been an extremely stressful week for them.

And I don't think it's super out of character because we barely know these people!! Nico has been suffering and in survival mode almost the whole time we have known him!! Will has been a background character most of the time!! Nico was a bubbly 10 year old and Will was like 4 sentences. Nico has made occasional/awkward/dark jokes and Will was shown to be stubborn and concerned and caring because demigods are ridiculously hard to keep alive. Let them be weird and cringey they're literal teenagers. Have you been in a high school with people obnoxiously dating. They are. The worst.

Broke: camp is empty because people wanna see their families

Woke: camp is empty because will and nico are just that couple who are cringe 100% of the time and everyone just noped out

I know I keep getting sidetracked but. Point is. nico and will seem out of character because of circumstances and time skips probably. Nicos finally in a stable place and can actually process things, mans is curious about the world he's in no wonder he's a memelord the internet just does that to you. People change when they're not in survival mode, I definitely am not the same person I was when I was 16. Not even the same person I was when I was 18. Or 20. Like, mental health glow ups bring out some of the best parts of you.

AND THANK YOU PIPER I FEEL SO SEEN RN, don't know what label I fit under, I am confusion but it's ok!! I am a big ole ace spectrum mess and maybe tomorrow it'll be different! Either way the book had a lot of great moments and no it's not the same as old rr books but it was never gonna be, the nostalgia associated with the original pjo series means nothing will ever live up to those books and that's kind of just life for some of yall. fuck knows I crave the joy I felt playing crash bandicoot for the first time. I miss that time of my life and it's ok to miss that but it's also ok to move forward and find new things that bring life joy and meaning!!

anyway. I enjoyed the sun and the star and I will continue to enjoy it regardless of what other people think, I can like things just because I do, or just because they make me happy. And this book definitely made me happy. Also holy fuck I need some sleep. Sorry about all the exclamation points it's all that's keeping me awake!!

#tsats spoilers #the sun and the star spoilers #solangelo spoilers #nico and will #damn #im tired #solangelo

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pigeonbboi · 2 years

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okay I am really autistic and think abt them all the time so

golden wind theories/ hcs abt the main gangs mental illnesses

okay I dont think we talk about how mista probably has ocd enough. we see that he has intrusive thoughts/ obsessions and while we don’t see him have a lot of obvious compulsions but he often acts in a way that may seem irrational to some and has strict routines and fears something will go wrong when they are interrupted. he counts things obsessively, has rituals, etc etc.

short aside: pls don't think I am glorifying/ romanticizing anything I talk abt here these are theories and if anything I say is inaccurate pls lemme know!! I did research abt what I talk abt here but these are my own personal theories/ observations/ how I relate to them :)

I see a lot of people hc narancia as having ADHD but I am here to further my everyone in bucci gang has autism agenda. /hj I am autistic and relate to him. how he has trouble reading peoples intentions and trusts too easily is smth I really relate too! That's not to say he couldn't also have ADHD but if you read him as autistic it adds a lot of depth to his backstory <:) he's also highly empathetic and struggles regulating his emotions.

god sorry this is cringe

oh obviously he's also dyslexic :)

moving on this is obvious and more a plea to people to do research and write realistic recovery for leone being an alcoholic.

I would also love to see more people talking about Bruno. Specifically within the context of bruabba and his savior complex, I can't help but think he would be a little bitter than he is always the one saving people and that he's not allowed to be weak despite all the trauma he went through at a young age and joining the mafia at 14. It would definitely create more vulnerability issues to play parent to not only three traumatized children but also your so, the one who you are meant to feel safest with. I think a lot of Bruno's savior complex issues stems from him thinking that the crimes he has committed in his past and continues to commit as part of his role within Passione make him a bad person, and to atone for these sins he "saves" others. You can see how angry he is when he takes Narancia to the hospital and then he says he also wants to join the gang. To Bruno this is akin to spitting in his face. 'You would throw away the second chance I gave you to make the same mistakes I did?' idk I love him and so many people treat him as if he is perfect and I think he deserves to be complex and maybe resent his family for treating him as a therapist and savior and not always like a flawed human being. basically please let us have more dysfunctional bruabba family I need them to live.

I could write a whole essay on fugo so I shall save him for another time and because I don't trust my own intelligence to talk about him. fugo peak.

A lot of dude bros get mad at Giorno's "lack of personality" as if it doesn't stem directly from him being neglected as a child. He was punished for showing normal emotions as a kid so he hides them as he gets older. He could also totally be read as autistic and thats a hc that holds a special place in my heart. Opposed to Narancia, who is on the high empathy end of the spectrum, Gio, partly as a response to how he was raised, has lower empathy which also effects how he communicates with others. I think he is such a complex character and wish more people devoted time to analyzing him rather than writing him of as boring.

Thats all I have the mental space to write about for write now but I care these idiots so much and please tell me what you think!! Bucci gang 4 eva.

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astrocalypse · 3 months

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Y'know what? FUCK YOU*MAKES A VITA ET MORS OC*

Tw: Self harm, suicide, that kinda shit :3

Ok so this miserable girlypop (I have no name for her yet) She does portraits, photographs, even documents Morte's life for Morte WITHOUT GETTING PAID, IT'S ALL PASSION. Because yk, Morte. And as she should.

She seriously loves him as a whole but she doesn't want to confess

It's not only his looks or some shit that you'll normally crush on she loves him for everything. EVEN imagining that they spend their lives together, yeah, like- with kids and shit.

The more time they spent with each other, the more her love for him grows.

Her mood depends on him.

Admires Morte like a god

LOVES MORTE LIKE ONE SHOULD LOVE LIFE ITSELF BUT THAT'S TOO BAD CUZ SHE DOESN'T LOVE HERSELF (ME FR)

When she first met Morte she was like "HOLY SHIT DID I JUST TALKED TO A FUCKING ANGEL???!!!"

And that's where her mentally ill ass started to like him

She sorta has an obsession with Morte (obvi). She's devoted to him and he knows that duhhhh

Morte likes being treated like a god huh? (Is he not?) Well in terms of a DEVOTEE, then he hit the jackpot!

At first she believed he wasn't human. After all, how can someone be so.... Beautiful? Like a god? (Hahah)

If she could, she would move mountains just to be with him (aweeee you sad little motherfucker)

Always compliments Morte like he's some sort of god or something YIPEEEE!!!! Call her a worshiper atp lmao

Like, just dress a little fancier... Actually no- you don't have to dress nicely Morte. As long as you exist, this bitch is gonna give her soul to you.

"Omg you look really wonderful in that attire!!!!! Any woman would fall and maybe die for you!! ^_^ *insert words of pure admiration* May I take a picture??? Make another painting maybe??"

Gets worried for Morte more than she should for herself

Prioritizes Morte

Over a hundred paintings of Morte

Tons of photos of him as well

Likes writing about him

Said "You're my everything" to Morte in french, hoping he'd be confused.

Then she found out he can actually speak french and ohh boyy she died a little

Most of her portraits are perfect. If it's not good enough (in her eyes or what she thinks Morte thinks), well..;

She hurts herself when she thinks Morte doesn't like her stuff she made for him

like one time she bruised her thighs because Morte didn't compliment her painting for him like he did the last time, it sounded dry.

"I'm sorry for being too clingy, Morte..... :("

Her thoughts on the daily:

"Am I even worthy of being around him?"

"What if Morte finds me annoying?"

"What if my compliments doesn't sound genuine? I'm scared."

"Am I appreciating him for being him or is it just because of his looks..?"

"What if he thinks I'm just trying to get him?"

"What if he secretly hates me?"

"He probably hates how clingy I am"

"He hates me."

*Starts self harming* (girlypop cmon 😞)

Stays up late thinking about him and ends up crying cuz she thinks he doesn't care for her HAHAHAHAH

She knows what he does actually (kept it in secret so she doesn't get killed) But does she care? No!!

Likes being used as an alibi if anyone dares to be suspicious of Morte.

Would suffer for him.

Would kill for him.

Would DIE for him.

Literally anything for Morte (HAHAHAH)

When Morte died she did horrible things to herself (you can guess what those are)

She also cried for 7 MONTHS

Ever since Morte's death, she's the one who keeps taking care of his and Roxanne's graves (?)

Goes from complimenting to sobbing to his grave

Drawings of Morte EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Always says "I love you" before she leaves like girl he don't love you shut yo corny ahh 😭💀🙏

Always hangs out on his grave. People find it weird asf bc why are you hanging out in THAT place?? There's a serial killer buried there..

Compliments Roxanne too so she doesn't feel left out :>

She documented his life and kept painting him until she finally killed herself, hoping to see Morte in the afterlife.

Ew cringe 🤢

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THIS CRINGE OC INSERT SHIT @aestheticghostie 🙏🙏🙏

I JUST MADE HER YESTERDAY (02.25.23) LMAO I MIGHT REDO THIS AT SOME POINT

#aestheticghostie #astrocalypse #oc concept #vita et mors #oc #hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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anxiously-sidequesting · 4 months

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Okay I'm finally gonna make a regular pinned post instead of that ✨old ass✨ Ambrose one

(this is really just for my own benefit and for new followers/lurkers more than anything else but it's super neat if you read it also. ill give you 7 dollars if you do)

*throws introduction and facts about me on the table:

i'm usually called Sillo but i'm cool with any names anyone wants to give me. bitch, enemy of the state, Dick Van Dyke.

pronouns are largely she/her/hers but im trying out other pronouns like a new pair of pants. i also identify as GNC so you'll hear me refer to myself with masculine terms from time to time but i still want to be a girly girl. if that makes sense. im also cool with they/them/theirs also!!

im currently 23 years old but my dream is to one day live into the hundreds so i can be a knife wielding disillusioned bitter old lady

im poc 💖 this doesn't affect anything but i just thought id mention that

if i ever misunderstand your words or accidentally say something insensitive, offensive, or upsetting, i super duper apologize deeply, i'm autistic so i unfortunately have a hard time reading social cues, understanding people properly, or taking others' emotions into account. please please please lmk if this ever happens so that i can correct myself and do better in the future 💖

i mostly post analysis posts on wizard101 lore and its characters but take this with a grain of salt because my knowledge of the game is very limited, i forget most of what i experience and i havent played the game in maaaybe 8 years? so my observations and opinions are very outdated sorry. oopsies

i have a sideblog at @/silloisbroke if anyone wants to lurk or follow me there for non-wizard stuff. it's just my hyperfixations on kid cartoons and kid games and i just made it like 2 weeks ago so its pretty empty and cringe

im going to very gently ask that you only interact (DMs + becoming friends) if you're 16 or over. the blog isn't explicit and minors can follow me if they want to, i don't and won't post anything extreme on here. BUT i am uncomfy with being friends and interacting with anyone who's like a kiddie kid though so my limit is no younger than 16

i am a hypocrite. i may like things for the same reason i may dislike things. sorry im just a lil bit messed up like that 💖

FUCK TERFS and racists and all the -phobes actually. not that the wizard101 fandom has any of these but i wanna say this just in case i get any nasties on here. get out of here 💖💖💖

If you read all that congratulations and thanks that's super cool of you! welcome to my disorganized mentally ill hell 🥰

#pinned post #text posts #ugh this is so much better im glad i got this out. ik people already know like 90% of these things about me tho #but its always polite to have a welcome mat under your door 💖💖💖💖

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daz4i · 2 years

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Bestie. Bestie. I know I've already sent him for a character meme before, but that was a long time ago and also this one is ~detailed~ so. Takuto, if you'll indulge me? :3

Also! If I may, I'm sending Akechi too 'cause we all want to talk about our blorbos ^^ <3

mwah thank you bestie 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

takuto:

What I like about them: he’s genuinely such an interesting character. his role in the story is generally such a sexy one (anti-villains are p rare from my experience so it’s so cool to see one). i love his confidant and even his class questions and his presence is genuinely very calming

What I dislike about them: why are you me. i’m me

Favourite moment: that one scream after the fist fight. you know the one

Least favourite moment: hmmmmm not sure if i have one i particularly dislike but ig while they’re very plot and character important, his one on one conversations with the thieves can be a bit slow and at times even uncomfortable to watch bc of second hand embarrassment lmao

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: i really wanna know what happens to him in his reality! we see him basically become a nobody, the thieves don’t recognize him, and i assume it’s his doing? so i’m curious, once everyone’s happiness is actualized, what does he have left to do?? what does he do??? pls i need answers

An interesting AU for this character: curious to think abt how thing’s would’ve gone if he told akira from the start he knows they’re the pt and abt the metaverse and cogpsi. like, how would the thieves react? would they be more guarded around him, or more open? would he become a confidant to them all? idk it’s interesting!!!! idek if it counts as an au bc it’s more canon divergence but eh.

A crossover: i’m ngl my brain is flat out of ideas. fuck it. the bible. biggest crossover of the year. ig it’s technically already canon but anyway

OTP: takuto x you u3u

Other ships?: takurumi ofc! and i think his ship with zenkichi is cute!

BROTP: shibusawa true bro xx

NOTP: whatever his ship with akira is called. for obvious reasons

An assortment of headcanons! (but this post is long enough as is so i’m limiting myself to one): that man lives in the lamest ass apartment you’ve seen in your life. he does NOT get paid enough to afford more. rip king

goro:

What I like about them: the mental illness(es) and everything else also

What I dislike about them: uuuuuuuh ig he’s got some moments that give me second hand embarrassment?? esp in his detective persona. i’m sorry goro you posted cringe you’re gonna lose subscriber

Favourite moment: any time he’s being unhinged during the third semester 😍 but esp as a navi

Least favourite moment: genuinely can’t choose bc any moment that may be cringe is just so funny or i’m simply too happy he’s there that i can’t bring myself to dislike it. ig in his original confidant some of the ranks were a bit boring? so just pick one of those rank ups where he just says how interesting it is to talk to akira despite us never seeing them talk

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: you know that deleted content from royal where he’s in a rehab center? yeah i wanna know what’s up with that and have more information and see how he heals and how he is afterwards

An interesting AU for this character: actual detective goro........ him solving crimes he didn’t commit himself.......... solving mysteries........... connecting dots and following leads...... perhaps with a trusty partner who looks great in drag called watso- *gets shot*

A crossover: i’m making him besties with dimitri fire emblem even if it’s the last thing i do

OTP: my special little polycule of goro x akira x haru x yusuke. but also just akeshu

Other ships?: akekita, akeharu, ryugoro

BROTP: futago and anngoro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTP: recently found out some ppl actually ship him with shido and well. i’m not here to police anyone’s ships but Keep That Shit Away From Me

Extra headcanon: autistic king. masking expert and hyperaware of people’s perception of him due to years of trauma. his special interest is featherman. stims by fiddling with his gloves. i’m right about this

send some characters?

#long post

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fair-dinkum-mechanic · 11 months

Text

With how my mental health has been lately, I need to document this. I do not have any plans to take my life, but I have been in moments where I thought I may do it on the spur of the moment. And with the torrents of new pain I keep experiencing each day, I have no idea what may be the final straw.

Firstly, I have made it clear I’d like to be cremated. I want to be cremated with my childhood Mickey toy if possible. Don’t scatter my ashes I don’t feel strongly linked to any place enough for that to happen. If it must happen scatter me at the dolphin sanctuary on Torrens island if you’re able.

Pippa is priority. Under no circumstances is she to go to a shelter. She will live with one of my friends, or mum.

I love all of you and I did not do this to hurt any of you even though I realise it would have destroyed some people. I would’ve genuinely thought that the pain caused by my death would be less than the pain caused by me continuing on. I know it might seem like I didn’t think of you, but I did. I truly did. Yes huge parts of the reason for me would be to escape the pain and not see the absolute terrors and heartbreak in front of me, but also because my reactions to those things cause so much pain to people.

Pippa is to be cremated too when her time comes, through a private company. If she’s euthanised she is to be euthanised at home with a vet visit where she is comfortable and knows where she is. Keep her ashes with mine if you can. Next to each other. She’d want to be there.

Misty will be happy whoever she’s with. She’s not to go to a shelter either.

My ex Kyle is not to attend or have contact with anyone. He is a huge part of the reason I’m in this position in the first place and he does not have access to my family and friends anymore. Even though I’ll be gone just know it’ll be a huge betrayal on my part to rekindle a connection there.

Know that I would’ve chosen to go because the pain is too great. I cannot handle the absolute cruelty of the world, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I cannot handle being on my own. I need a romantic partner, a true one, I’ve never pretended to love. If I cannot have that I will be ending my life. It’s not something I am willing to go without. I can do it but I don’t want to. I also can’t handle being replaced by better or replaced at all. The pain these feelings cause me are so agonising that I am much better and far more at peace dead. I don’t wish ill on anyone, and it isn’t their fault that I have been unable to handle rejection, reality, or the progression of time and life. That is my own fault as a person. I am trying to take responsibility and rectify that by ending my life as it’s not something that will change in me.

Most of all, and above it, as much as I would’ve wanted to stay and wanted to be with those I loved, the pain that comes with love is too great. Please don’t think I am okay with losing any of you, because I’m not. Not at all. I don’t live for myself I live for all of you and now that it’s gone there is not much reason for me to go on. Know I am far more at peace in death than I ever could’ve been in life. I am finally free. Of what my mind does to me. I am somewhere where I don’t feel scared, or lonely, or worthless and replacable. I’m somewhere where others actions don’t hurt, and I’m somewhere that I can be still, without pain.

Please look back on me with gentleness because that’s all I ever wanted to be. I understand if you’re angry and I’m so, so sorry. I wish there was another way. But sometimes life needs to take us away. And it would’ve been my time. I’ve done a lot with my life. Everything I’ve wanted actually. I’ve been very lucky and very privileged. Maybe you could all go to Disneyland one day and feel me with you. Or have a kpop dance party. Or grab sushi and watch a movie. I’ll be there. Remember me in those times. I want to be there with you. Even talk to me if it’s not too cringe. I’ll hear you.

Stay with me if you can. I understand if you can’t though. My connections with all of you are what means the most to me. It’s what made my life worth anything. If I could leave it a kinder place than I found it, that’s all that matters.

I love you.

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yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 1 year

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IDUBBBZ

So this just came across my Youtube feed from a few different creators all of them talking about Idubbbz. What's confusing about this isn't what everyone has been saying. What's confusing about this is apologizing for content you have made in an era where that was not just acceptable, but also the norm.

I do not grasp the concept of where you have to be in your own mind to say sorry to every generation growing up. Retroactive "I'm sorry" should not be a thing. No one knows what modern norms will look like 2 years from now much less 15 or 20 years from now. Society may well decide that you are a minor until you are 25. They could lower the drinking age to 14. We could find out that kids secretly hold the inner most knowledge of the universe but don't know how to see it.

All I'm saying is, in an era that was recovering from Political Correctness, and one that participated heavily in hyper puritan culture, that level of edgy was par for the course. The edgier it was the better at that time. We also gave words less power back then. We took the piss out of hate more times than not with super edgy humor. Race and sex based relations were actually getting better in general.

So really for him to apologize for all of his old content make no sense. Sure, I understand making a video saying, "Hey wasn't that a wild time? You think so to huh? Well thanks for being with me thus far, and I plan to grow and change with time like any normal adult. And my content is also going to change with that." <That? That is how he should have approached it. Saying sorry for being a product of the time is like admitting to a sin you were not aware you were committing. It doesn't make sense. You just move on from it and grow. If people are upset that's on them. Not on you.

Hell if anything from 2014-2023 has been absolute shit. Everyone is overly sensitive. Everyone is all of a sudden mentally ill and HAPPY about it for some reason. Everyone HAS to be an activist 24/7 365 otherwise they will hang themselves or hurt others. Big Businesses are screwing people left and right. Marxists are literally laying waste to our country. We are on the brink of WWIII. Inflation is at it's worst in decades. There is 1000's of new movies and shows every year and of all of it, maybe less than a percent is good. Games suck more often than they don't. People can't just leave other people along to like what they like.

I HATE the modern era. Things just aren't fun anymore. And the more you try to have fun, the more people who are perpetually angry and activist-y have to try to destroy the source of what makes you and others happy. It's like their whole goal in life is to suck the fun out of it.

Anyways. My point is that there was no reason for him to say he was sorry. It makes no sense whatsoever, and makes him a target in the future for the only people that would have been happy to get an apology from him.

Long and short of it. Unless you think you were doing something bad at the time, or unless you learned that at the time it WAS bad, (Not years later people see it as bad) don't say sorry. And believe me, at the time his shit was cringe but it wasn't "bad" for that era of online content. It was pretty normal. Things were more fun back then anyways.

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

'VALENTINES DAY IS A CAPITALISM PLOT' YEY DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY!!!! good morning, my love, lets go riot! 'what if i dont' well... then dont.... 'HA HELP?' I MEANT THE DRESS TT 'i was ont he brink of tears' oooh poor girl TT im so sorry for your headache TT you did great with that fic. i never read it bc i had no mood for pedro but im sure. i trust you and your readers. youre amazing and funny so its the only logical way. 'NOW 7AM SUNLIGHT BURNS' got some freezy hugs from me idk TT 'a child i never understood...' well recently i heard two girls in the kindergarten giggling after hearing 'bare soul' and was like?? its really only the society that makes a big deal out of .. everything? any part of human being and life.. 'but i love you' and i love you so i say you should write it only if you want. you dont have to do it. 'i did 😗🍵👌' youre a catgrandmom now 'WHY IS HE CRINGE NOW' i never watched vampire academy and dont judge your taste. you can like danila however you want. and maybe back in 2014 it was indeed good. but i know his russian works. and i know his present works. and 1) most of them are cringey 2) hes cringey 3) hes done many other cringey things. though its not only his works or personality that made him a meme here. hes just a meme? somehow weve come to this and i love this. good for danila. a pretty name. and a pretty person, he makes money with his cringe after all. 'YOU WHINY BABY' i am. 'SHE IS DAEMONS FIRST WIFE THE ONE AND THE ONLY' Yey sounds like the victory! 'he’s technically also not wrong' nah hes wrong bc 1) HE doesnt consider himself the first 2) man. 'change my mind about who yn ends up with' in my mind hes lonely and he ends up heartbroken with his brother who finally came to his senses, watching the wedding with the bitterness in the smile and the great pain. 'im going to add that' such an honour TT 'let me finish this fic in 5 parts dammit' go ahead. dont forbid you anything. go ahead. ill gladly read. 'you know that married member in BigBang?' GHDKDOLHHG ok mental health cutie. i got u. thanks<з yk i like witchy playlists VERY much. ive just found this. and i dont understand if its the authors au or smth but. u feel how accurate it seems with daemon?... like my witch au wasnt abt it. its definately another thing. but imagine another witch au. where daemon is no prince but a narcissistic demon. and a witch loves him unconditionally and selfishly. hes the rouge prince of his own, he does whatever he wants and have as many women as he want. and she know it, it doesnt matter though. bc she love the feeling of love, she loves the fact of feeling something for such a powerful and one of a kind creature. theyre acquaintances and hes totally aware of her love, he relishes in it. he flirts with her and she responds in kind with no hesitation or embarrassment. and they both are just perfectly fine with this. it may sound foolish or not making any sense but i love relationships with no logic TT that are absolutely chaotic and incomprehensible for anyone outside of the dynamic. sorry i just got inspired a little. tbh i liked only the first song of the playlist... and its not exactly the mood i have about this dynamic but nvm. also i love the trope with the relationship bound to end from the very first moment. and it is the one of those i told about. a reader meets daemon in essos/another place he travels to during his exile. and its the love at first sight. and both of them knows he wont stay and she wont come with him. so they enjoy the very 2 or 3 months they have. thats all i wanted to say. besides 5 other ideas i had💀 maybe at weekends... maybe... hope your week is alright, you eat well !!! and drink enough water. have a nice day/evening/night! love u! take care<з

HELLO <3 MY MING MIMG MIMGING MIGMGNIGNMIGMNGMIGN

i was bummed out i couldnt write anything so i didnt reply to you though i read this moment i saw it. sorry

'VALENTINES DAY IS A CAPITALISM PLOT' YEY DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY!!!!

good morning, my love, lets go riot!

damn i just woke up i dont want to riot i want to write and finish my assignments

'what if i dont' well... then dont....

T_T HAHHAH

'HA HELP?' I MEANT THE DRESS TT

ahhhh ok AHHAHHAHAHHAHAH T_ HAHAHAHH

'i was ont he brink of tears' oooh poor girl TT im so sorry for your headache TT you did great with that fic. i never read it bc i had no mood for pedro but im sure. i trust you and your readers. youre amazing and funny so its the only logical way.

T_T i have been wanting to write but i find myself unable to T_T you dont have to say sorry to me but i do want to tell you that idk... i usually write every other day or every day and yet i havent written in 2 days lol T_T i mean i know i dont owe anyone anything but T_T T_T idk i feel like im letting people down /: i know im not but /: my brain. my brain man

'NOW 7AM SUNLIGHT BURNS' got some freezy hugs from me idk TT

thank you <3

'a child i never understood...' well recently i heard two girls in the kindergarten giggling after hearing 'bare soul' and was like?? its really only the society that makes a big deal out of .. everything? any part of human being and life..

T_T BARE SOUL HAHAHHAHAHAHA T_T AHAHHAAHAHAHAH thats cute. society is fucking weird and L

'but i love you' and i love you so i say you should write it only if you want. you dont have to do it.

T_T but i love you. i love you so much and if i cant do this if i cant make art what am i T_T this is why im tryna make another cover song soon. i have to keep making art. i cant stop

'i did 😗🍵👌' youre a catgrandmom now

T_T it be like that

'WHY IS HE CRINGE NOW' i never watched vampire academy and dont judge your taste. you can like danila however you want. and maybe back in 2014 it was indeed good. but i know his russian works. and i know his present works. and 1) most of them are cringey 2) hes cringey 3) hes done many other cringey things. though its not only his works or personality that made him a meme here. hes just a meme? somehow weve come to this and i love this. good for danila. a pretty name. and a pretty person, he makes money with his cringe after all.

i want to say that i want to be a meme if i ever become a celebrity T_T BUT it has to be like funny haha meme not omg CRINGE meme. anyway i do love his name sm sososossosos much and hes pretty cute. and yes he makes money off his cringe so good for him HAHAHHAH

'YOU WHINY BABY' i am.

/: why didnt you put an episode number so i can watch. should i start in the first ep of matt smith? but i also kinda wanted to watch david tennant

'SHE IS DAEMONS FIRST WIFE THE ONE AND THE ONLY' Yey sounds like the victory!

lol if thats what it sounds like to you <3

'he’s technically also not wrong' nah hes wrong bc 1) HE doesnt consider himself the first 2) man.

#2 HAHAHHHAHAHAHAH. i mean just because #1 he doesnt consider himself the man doesnt make it less true

'change my mind about who yn ends up with' in my mind hes lonely and he ends up heartbroken with his brother who finally came to his senses, watching the wedding with the bitterness in the smile and the great pain.

very logical. i hate logic. im going to give him a shot. a fair shot

'im going to add that' such an honour TT

'let me finish this fic in 5 parts dammit' go ahead. dont forbid you anything. go ahead. ill gladly read.

T_T thank you <3

'you know that married member in BigBang?' GHDKDOLHHG ok mental health cutie. i got u. thanks<з

T_T AHAHHA 1000000000000$ cutie

yk i like witchy playlists VERY much. ive just found this. and i dont understand if its the authors au or smth

i think it is.

but. u feel how accurate it seems with daemon?... like my witch au wasnt abt it. its definately another thing. but imagine another witch au. where daemon is no prince but a narcissistic demon. and a witch loves him unconditionally and selfishly. hes the rouge prince of his own, he does whatever he wants and have as many women as he want. and she know it, it doesnt matter though. bc she love the feeling of love, she loves the fact of feeling something for such a powerful and one of a kind creature. theyre acquaintances and hes totally aware of her love, he relishes in it. he flirts with her and she responds in kind with no hesitation or embarrassment. and they both are just perfectly fine with this. it may sound foolish or not making any sense but i love relationships with no logic TT that are absolutely chaotic and incomprehensible for anyone outside of the dynamic. sorry i just got inspired a little.

ok. i like this prompt. i will try to write it because i feel like i cant write anything rn T_T if i cant write this rn T_T then i guess i cant.

i really like how you made daemon in this. a demon a selfish demon its so canon and poor bb girl witch who loves him no matter what T_T fuck off i hate men i kinda want to write it. but also ??? T_T sounds tiring

idk i havent been able to write. i have so many things i want to write but i cant T_T i need a cleanse fic. a fic only i thought about and i need to go wild

tbh i liked only the first song of the playlist... and its not exactly the mood i have about this dynamic but nvm.

LOL HAHHAH im in class right now but i'll listen to it later

also i love the trope with the relationship bound to end from the very first moment. and it is the one of those i told about. a reader meets daemon in essos/another place he travels to during his exile. and its the love at first sight. and both of them knows he wont stay and she wont come with him. so they enjoy the very 2 or 3 months they have.

oh no i love this too T_T <3 you've got such a beautiful brain. i love you so much

thats all i wanted to say. besides 5 other ideas i had💀 maybe at weekends... maybe...

you should have told me all of them! i love hearing you speak or reading your words rather AHAHH. if i sound out of it, maybe i am my head hurts again. maybe its the heat AGAIN maybe im dehydrated fuck. but just tell me everything you want ok <3 i love you

hope your week is alright, you eat well !!! and drink enough water.

i will do my best <3. i hope you do too <3 take care of yourself ok i love you

have a nice day/evening/night! love u! take care<з

i love you so much i hope i feel better this sucks i love you <3

xxx

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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ashley-slashley · 1 year

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Don't Talk To Strangers

Summary: "be aware of hidden dangers, and don't you go talking to strangers" - the beau brummels, don't talk to strangers (1965)

Rating: E/Explicit

Warnings: cussing, graphic imagery, violence

A/N: incomplete. i'll probably never come back to this, no offense

Captain’s log. Stardate: supplemental.

Per usual with my bullshit writing, my day shall be absurd and full of nonsense. As the price of most ride escort services are becoming quite ridiculously expensive, I’ve decided to start using the moderately priced Spree. I think that might’ve been a horrible idea. I haven’t been assaulted yet, but, I just really don’t like the vibes of the driver I have. It’d be absolutely absurd to just ask to be dropped off almost immediately from my trek to work just because the vibes of this man are absolutely rancid . At least I can pass the time by listening to my music and staring out the window, completely ignoring all the cameras adorning the interior of the car like it’s Guantanamo Bay or a maximum security federal prison. I haven’t listened to or paid attention to a word my driver, Kurt, has said. He doesn’t smell like a pile of decaying cadavers, though he looks like he’s trying to go for the David Gilmour in Pompeii (circa 1972) look with the greasiest hair to ever grace god’s green earth.

From what I can tell with his music choice, it’s trash. He mentioned something about being the person behind it, and to promote this “Kurt’s World”. His logo looks like something a horror youtube personality would include on a list of disturbing art made by the mentally ill. My name may not be Ariel, but I don’t want to be part of his world in any capacity. There’s just something off about this guy, and it’s not him almost constantly promoting his brand. I believe I found what Norman Bates would be like if he was a gen z Uber driver, no idea about the incestuous undertones of Norman’s relationship with his mother with this dude though. Wouldn’t doubt it. As far as I know, I prefer Norman, at least he doesn’t look like he stepped out of a Hollister catalog from 2007, or a greasy myspace twink from the year of our lord 2007. Dude drives a Prius, for fuck’s sake. Of course he’s cringe worthy.

Though my music is at max, I can still vaguely hear the eardrum slaughtering beat of whatever new age hip hop is oozing from the speakers like infected pus from a wound. Call me a music elitist and crucify me for this: whatever This dreadful noise is shouldn’t be classified as music. It should be classified as audio the CIA uses to torment war criminals and terrorists with in Guantanamo Bay. Not so ironic considering I’m in a Prius decorated with security cameras, tacky internet streamer lights, water bottles from an unrecognizable brand (possibly locally sourced), and a hydroflask with some elite gaming cult sticker plastered on it. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised my driver looks like he spends 90% of his time in front of a screen, screaming at other players, and having a diet consisting of nacho Doritos, Mountain Dew, and microwavable chicken tenders. No, he’s not overweight - he’s a twig. I wonder what his metabolism is. This dude should be studied by Harvard or the CDC - “AREA MAN HAS THE MOST ABSURD METABOLISM IN EXISTENCE”. If I sound like I’m being too brutally cruel with my observations of this guy, uh, it could be far worse.

Curiously, I looked up his social media handle. Of course he’s the type of gamer who screams and throws his controller across the room because someone said some typical xbox live chat insults from 2010. This man claimed he’s going to fuck some other player’s mom, sorry bro, from what I can gather, you get absolutely no pussy. If I’m being quite honest, he looks like he cries when he has an orgasm. Some women into S&M are into that as well, but, uh, I don’t think anyone in that community wants you. I would go further into my Freudian analysis of this dweeb, however, I don’t know what would be throwing the envelope into the Marianas Trench at this point. It’s not like he’s reading my internal monologue. Sure he shares his first name with one of the X-Men, but it’s not Professor Xavier. There’s an alternate universe where this dude’s a cult leader somewhere deep in the jungles of Cambodia, committing war crimes on a daily basis, with a bounty on his ass from the US government. A CIA assassin on a mission to terminate with extreme prejudice miles down the river.

#the shitposter writes #kurt kunkle #kurtsworld96 #spree 2020

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carmenbathwater · 2 years

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Ohhg God feeling the effects of my hubris. Unfortunate! But I will persist.

#jain voice:#Lets watch holes! Let's do horror NEOW #i am feeling the effects of hole media that is infact not at all about holes #bwhat if the sheets gost fucking GETS me #Bro.#I genuinely need to SLEEP #Its not my fault I'm mentally ill as hell but goddamn can it take a break for a bit I wanna b able to function kinda #Even tho I did beg for this and it's not even bad yet #I'm like #Ohhh my face is warm it's gonna start ripping apart and [REDACTED]<-gore reasons I shouldn't mention #And #Im like #bro holy shit #What if i see it now that the lights are off #God what if it sees me #Wait no this is cringe #I need to name it............... jerry #gyep.#This works #this is so cringe sorry for being mentally ill on mai #<-what I would say if I was sorry #Unfortunately you're in MY living room #anyways I was go na sleep but I'm so comfy rn?#epic gaming right here in my safe ass nest

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doctorbunny · 3 years

Text

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

#haruka sakurai #milgram #milgram theory #001 #text post #essay #long post

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maxineswritingcenter · 3 years

Text

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader

So, back in the day I wrote this story on Quotev. And it was one of my first stories that got into the popular section and I am really proud of it. The only problem is.... It was written in 2013, uber cringe-ville. If you wanna try to find it, be my guest but be warned: the main character is an OC, she has “I’m NoT lIkE oThEr GiRlS” syndrome and there are some weird ass love lines added in. So, I am reviving and rebranding that story so it may live a better life, like witness protection. Anyway, hope you enjoy

* I wrote it in first person just because I thought it would be easier to read

(Y/N)’s family is killed in a fire that seems to plague Beacon Hills, moving in with the Stilinski’s was bound to cause hijinks, but what happens when she gets involved with the the illusive Derek Hale?

TW: Kidnapping, some violence

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At first glance Beacon Hills seems like the perfect community. It wasn’t until later that I would realize that everything I ever knew was a lie.

I slowly slipped out of the front door and locked it behind me. Sneaking out wasn’t my usual schtick, but it was the last day of summer and for the first time I was going to live a little before starting to work at the Highschool as a volunteer coach for the lacrosse team. It was my first time ever sneaking out and just the idea of it made my heart pound, but the anxiety turned to adrenaline as I made my way out without either of my parents noticing. They were both incredibly heavy sleepers, there could be a parade outside their door and they wouldn’t wake up.

The party would mostly consist of most of the men’s and women’s lacrosse teams, and what would a lacrosse party be like without the team captain?

Walking down the sidewalk, I thought more about college. UCLA was a choice, or a community college too. Most kids would have gone straight after graduation, but I decided a year off would be good for me to de-stress. But honestly, I was just more afraid of the change. That and leaving my best friend, Stiles, behind was a little hard to fathom. We had known each other our whole lives. Another thing was…would he be okay? After losing his mom… who knows. But then there was also Michael. Michael was my boyfriend, and I loved being with him for the last four years. He really hadn’t mentioned plans for college, just working in the family business. What the family business was, I never knew.

About a block down the road is when I heard the howl. My instincts first go to fear, wolf in the darkness. But then logic comes in, there had not been wolves in California for decades. It was probably the neighbors husky.

The autumn chill had no mercy, whipping my hair into my eyes, I stopped on the corner of Fifth and Main, pulling my jacket closer and waited for the wind to pass. When it did, the figure in front of me made me gasp. But the shock subsided soon after.

“Mikey,” I sighed in relief, “Why’d ya sneak up on me like that? Almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing out here?”

“Waiting for you.” He smiled. Ominous certainly, but this was probably just another one of his pranks.

“I guess so, I thought you said you weren’t going to the party.”

“We’re not.” That’s when a chill ran up my spine. Something wasn’t right, he wasn’t acting like himself. His goofy smile was gone and replaced by a dark looming presence that I wasn’t comfortable with. It was like he was a completely different person. I took a slow step back.

“Come on, this isn’t funny.” He said nothing, only matching my step going forward.

“Michael.” With every step I took back, he took one forward, matching my increasing pace. With no other choice in mind, I chose to run. But as my back was turned, he grabbed me by my middle with one arm and pressed a cloth to my mouth with the other. Without thinking, I breathed in, the chemicals in the cloth slowly numbing my senses and my body. I tried to fight the darkness entering my vision, but it was no use. I was done to my knees, Michael right behind me.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” Were the last words I heard before the darkness took over.

“Sweetie, time to get up.” My mother’s voice rang in my ears.

“C’mon mom five more minutes…” I grumbled.

“(Y/N), you need to wake up.” Her voice is more urgent. I finally opened my eyes, seeing my mother, her body engulfed in flames.

“Wake up!”

My body jerked as I woke up, leading to soreness in my arms and legs as a few things became clear:

1. I was tied to a chair, and

2. I didn’t know where I was.

The events from last night slowly started coming back and nothing made any sense. Michael had never been controlling or abusive. Was I so blinded by the relationship that I hadn’t seen the signs? No, there were no signs. As far as I knew, Michael had no history of mental illness so something like dissociative identity disorder didn’t make sense and it wouldn’t explain the behavior either.

There was a bandana tied around my head, keeping me from any sort of speech. From the layout of the place, it looked like an apartment Michael had, but everything was different. There was a tack board hanging in the living room with so many pictures of myself and my parents, shots that looked like they were taken without us knowing. There were scrawlings but they were too scribble-like to make out.

The door opening brought my head to look towards the source. Michael walked in, shoving his phone into his back pocket.

“Well good afternoon, sleepy head.” He closed the door behind him and made his way over to the chair I was bound to.

“Alright, I’m gonna take the gag out but you can’t scream.” He smiled.

I nodded along. With one hand, he pulled the gag from my mouth.

“HELP! HELP ME!” I cried, hoping one of his neighbors would hear and call the police.

“Shut up!” He slapped me across the face, the stinging pain only added to my screaming for help.

“I said shut up!” He pulled a knife from his pocket, pressing the tip of the blade against my cheek. This new threat silences me, leaving me breathing heavily through my nose, tears making their way down my cheeks.

“See, was that so hard?” He stood up and made his way across the room to the box TV on his floor, “I’m sorry for the mess, but with all my planning I hadn’t had a chance. I’ve been planning a big surprise and it’s finally done.” I didn’t speak, only continued to watch his movements.

“I figure, even if you didn’t listen, you can still have your surprise.” He pressed the round power button on the screen and it fizzled to life.

“-the same arsonist on the loose? Coming back to breaking news, the second house fire in six years occurred in the early morning today. Firefighters were called out to the residence of (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) where their home had gone up in flames.” There was footage of my home up in flames, streams of water coming from the firemen below. “ Both (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) were found dead, seemingly from being crushed by a falling support beam in their basement. Their daughter, (Y/N), has not been found and is considered missing. If you have any information on her please call Beacon Hills police.” My photo came up on the screen.

My heart sunk into my stomach and my throat ached to scream and sob. Michael turned off the TV then and looked down at me.

“I’m surprised they found the bodies with how hot it was.” He said nonchalantly.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered. My parents were the nicest people in the world and treated Michael like he was a part of the family, why would he do this?

”Don’t worry, (Y/N/N). It’s all a part of the plan.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I’m gonna head to bed, been out all night. I’ll see you in a couple hours.” He made his way to her bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Finally, I completely broke down. Silent cries poured out. My parents were just gone in a puff of smoke. And all at the hands of someone we trusted. Someone that I trusted more than anything.

After the grief quickly came anger. I don’t know how or when, but I am getting the hell out of here.

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Read part 2 here!

Likes, Comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Message me comment to to added to the General Tag or the tag list for this series!

#teen wolf fic #derek hale #derek hale x reader #maxineswritingcenter

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