#this is obviously a joke guys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kettlequills · 2 years

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fun game

which extremely maladaptive method of showing affection from my evil elves are you? Do you:

Let them capture and torture you, because turnabout is fair play for the one you love!

Try to murder them personally, thereby demonstrating that not only can they rouse you to expressions of great emotion, they're also on your mind. Romantic!

Pay for them to attend assassination and torture school, because they want to get worse and you want to demonstrate that you support their murderous impulses.

Poison them! Secondary option of nursing them back to health personally so you both can revel in your undivided time together. Cute!

Have perfect corpses delivered to their door, with love notes painstakingly stitched into their chest to give the only clue as to the sender. Both mysterious and romantic, wow!

Challenge them to fight you and promise not to kill them in a way that definitely makes clear maiming is still on the table. What's sweeter than permanent injury? It's like a fun little reminder of you they can carry around anywhere.

Trap them in some kind of paralytic state and be sure to let them know everything you've been up to recently while they work to try and avoid losing fingers and toes from nerve damage and cold. It's good to make sure you have time to share together!

#torture ment #torture mention #fucked up elves #evil elf autumn #this is obviously a joke guys #this is #abuse #elenwen #archilowen #carmen #caranye #viraneminwe sinahl #anyaneminwe khraemlock #faseladil sinahl #if u can guess which elf is which u get an imaginary prize

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ogsherlockholmes · 23 days

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ACD writing A Study in Scarlet: Here's an idea, I've worked very hard on it and I'm very proud, do you like it? You don't? I'll fix it, let me fix it, I can make it better.

ACD writing The Sign of The Four: This is better, in fact, it's perfect. Cyclical structure and everything, check it out, Fleshed out characters, amazing storyline, I know you're going to like this one.

ACD writing anything Holmes related afterwards: Here, take this. I thought of it in the bathroom and wrote it on a piece of toilet paper. I don't care what you do with it just take it, now, I hope it's shit so you stop asking for it. Is there a deeper meaning? Stop asking me questions. Anyway, have you heard of Professor Challenger?

#this is a joke #obviously #i'm well aware that acd was actually writing two stories at the same time to compensate for the public not understanding his actual point #or something like that #honorary prof challenger mention #sherlock holmes #sherlock #acd #acd canon #poor guy wanted to write about fairies #there is also a double meaning to that #acd johnlock #actual mess of a post

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cheeto-flavoured-pasta · 23 days

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Stop being cowards and make your important male characters shorter, goddamnit

#writeblr #*technically*#this post is totally not brought to you by a 4'11 dude that's tired of people making all the significant guy characters walking lampposts #and also stop portraying short men as 'less of men' I will fucking bite you #like short ppl jokes are fine obviously but there are some things that are just really stupid and worn out

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deoidesign · 2 months

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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways.#time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

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charles-jpg · 3 months

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my contribution to society

#this is ALL JOKES OBVIOUSLY #i just kept seeing it around twitter and i was like someone has to do this….#i’m the father that stepped up #f1 #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #sebastian vettel #jenson button #lando norris #oscar piastri #i refuse to tag everyone you guys have eyes it’s ok

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fleshadept · 2 years

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the love story being so central to our flag means death really is mindblowing. i haven’t stopped thinking about it for months. it is, to its core, a romance. that was the point. the queer romance wasn’t written in in the second or third season because the fandom picked up on the homoeroticism and made a ship popular. it wasn’t added in because the fans demanded it or because the actors pushed for it later on it wasn’t forced into slowburn by a network it was there the whole time.

when stede showed ed his secret closet that was on purpose an allegory, when they shared the marmalade bread that was romantic intentionally, when they rowed away from the burning party boat and ed was looking at stede that was him FALLING IN LOVE . that's how it was WRITTEN. ed really actually leaned in and almost kissed stede in the moonlight scene. and then. they actually kissed! like i know this is months old news now but i can’t get over how fucking different this feels to other queer romances i’ve seen. it is the core and central plot of the show and it’s beautiful. it’s funny it’s cute it’s heartwarming it’s GOOD. they did it.

#i cannot emphasize how good it feels to have a queer story #at all first of all #but also a queer romance that didn't require the writers/network to be held at gunpoint for several seasons before allowing it to happen #comparing it to hannibal is interesting because hannibal was very much trying to be an openly queer story it was just airing on NBC #from 2013-2015 #so they couldn't #but even that wasn't planned until later on like it wasn't MEANT to be queer from the beginning #i have said before this show healed a part of my soul #sorry guys i'm emo today!#cricket chirps #just like. i knew they kissed when i STARTED the show and even then i refused to look at the obviously romantic scenes as romantic!!!#because so many fucking shows play it off as a joke or use it as queerbait or WHATEVER #ofmd #our flag means death #5k

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wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year

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You know you wanna vote for him. You wanna vote for him sooooo badly. That man is on twitter and twitch BEGGING to win. You wouldn’t let Joe Hills down, would you?

Also my partner described him as “looking like what an awesome guitar riff sounds like” if that’s not convincing enough idk what is

#ericsart #mcytblr sexyman #mcyt tumblr sexyman #joe hills #joehills fanart #mcytblr #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart #hermitcraft s9 #hermitcraft season 9 #vote Joe hills or I will CRY #NO FUCKING WAY THIS POST HAS GOTTEN MORE NOTES IN A FEW HOURS THAN MY PIECE THAT TOOK ME 30+ HOURS HAS IN A WEEK #GUYS PLEASE CHECK OUT MU OTHER WORK THIS THING TOOK ME LIKE A SIMGLE HPUR MY OTHER STUFF HAS TAKEN MONTHS BOOST THAT INSTEAD TF #also consider: Joe WANTS to win. he’s CAMPAIGNING FOR HIMSELF. Quackity on the other hand doesn’t even KNOW THIS IS HAPPENING #if Joe wins he will be GRATEFUL for it so obviously he should win /lh /j (this is all lighthearted and fun guys please don’t take it #seriously and please please please don’t attack me it’s all a joke ok)

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tequiilasunriise · 5 months

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Possible nicknames Lenore called Annabel in life go:

"Anniebell": Sometimes the smallest changes are the cutest, okay? Anniebell Lee sounds adorable as hell and I'll stick by it. Imagine Annabel trying to admonish Lenore for saying some wild shit at a Rich Persons Gala™️ or smth but she keeps breaking out into giggles like, "You- you can't just say that pet!" and Lenore playfully replying, "Oh whatever do you mean, Anniebell Lee?" like UGH I hate them somebody throw hammers at em already 💥💥🔨🔨🔨

“My moon”: in relation to the Annabel Lee poem (‘for the moon never beams/Without bringing me dreams/Of the wonderful Annabel Lee’) and also there’s smth so flavorful of the character with a color palette more akin to the Sun (long shiny blonde hair, warm colored eyes, seemingly more outwardly personality, etc) being called the moon like I loveee contrasting design choices‼️‼️

“Angel”: Also a reference to the poem (but like, worse because it was the angels that separated em) and can be easily pulled from Annabel’s name

“Petal”: Or some other variation of a flower based nickname because imma sad, sad bisexual who loves ✨flower motifs✨ just a bit too much

Anything in Dutch: This can be like common ones like “liefje” (darling) or the previous entries but in Dutch idk go crazy go stupid

“Locket”: An unconventional pick pulled from Annabel’s last name Whitlock + lockets containing pieces of hair from your other half being T H E romantic gesture of the century back then, so, like. Idk. Hear me out like okay I think Lenore could be the unconventional route (I mean girly already faked her death via arson and pulled a Mulan to get the girl soooo you see what I’m putting down?) and like like LIKKEEE⁉️⁉️⁉️ Imagine with me Lenore telling her girl, “You’re the locket I keep nearest to my heart” (many necklaces back then had a chain just long enough for the locket to rest above the wearer’s heart) and it evolves to Lenore calling Annabel smth like “my dearest, my locket” LIKE YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE WITH ME!!! GUYS MY VISION IS VISIONING!!! 🦅🗣️🌈🗣️🗣️🦅🦅🌈🗣️🦅🦅

@incorrect-nevermore cmere and witness my madness

#some of the emojis only show up in mobile format sigh this is my cross to bear #yes its a running joke of mine to measure things on a scale of 'in relation to how much so and so suffered compared to jesus h christ-'#for example penny poldenina died painfully TWICE like girly defo suffered more than mister holy spirit but thats neither here nor there #jesus still suffered more than me but like. damn bro. my aesthetic #my old wenclair followers if ur still around do NOT come fer me and the 'my moon' suggestion okay I knowwww #i remember my oldass yet decently popular 'my moon' wenclair posts from last year do not recite the ancient magic to me #anything in dutch one tho like cmon Lenore woulldd she would call her sweetie anniebell shit like 'my heart' and shit in Dutch ugh dorknore #tho obviously the locket one is my fave like u have to rlly and truly ENVISION THE VIBES u know?#unconventional pet names fer unconventional couples guys cmon hear me outttt #ugh man these two gayasses are so awful i hope they DOUBLE PERISH bc yeah they already died once whoooppssiesss #nevermore webtoon #white raven #lenore nevermore #lenore vandernacht #annabel lee nevermore #annabel lee whitlock

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knightsickness · 3 months

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the team green ‘criston isnt actually a misogynist because he said all women are an image of the mother to be revered’ brigade are so funny girl that was also misogynistic. ‘you shouldnt say crude things about women because theyre Mothers. the virgin mary was a woman’ is NOT a laudably women-respecting stance come on now

#also like. obviously the joke is captain misogyny is chiding aemond about respecting women bc hes a hypocritical evil guy #and its funny. the hotd fandom struggles w that bit generally #hotd #house of the dragon #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #criston cole

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chloecherrysip · 1 year

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"C'mon, Luigi! Pump those legs!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying. I got bad knees!"

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #super mario bros #mario and luigi #super mario bros movie spoilers #cherrysip edits #I LOVE THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE SO MUCH #other than just being a fun nod to 2D platforming it's just such an amazing way of showcasing mario's character so vividly #he is driven and athletic and impulsive and rushes into things and won't be told no #he moves full-steam ahead and makes it all up as he goes along #but!!! the one thing he IS always very mindful of is his brother and what he needs to keep up safely #even if there's some joking and complaining along the way they trust each other implicitly and will follow each other anywhere #even just the fact that mario opens the door at the end when he's on the outside and the gate obviously isn't locked and it's not necessary #it's just a nice little thing he does for luigi because they're brothers and he loves him ;_;#on a very different note: luigi straight up KO's a guy in the fourth gif lololol #and then promptly gets stuck in wet cement in the next one ;; poor bb he's just apologizing the whole way #i love themmmm

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eclipseshotel · 13 days

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Me watching Elder Predator in repose while he’s sprawled out on his furs beside me and I decide to check to see if he’s feigning slumber (he appears knocked out)

Me: “I love you…”

Elder Predator: ……

Me: “I’m pregnant…”

Elder Predator: ……

Me: “You’re terrible in bed…”

Elder Predator: ……

Me: “You can’t hunt for shit…”

Elder Predator: ……

Me: “Your trophy rack is way too small and—”

Elder Predator:

#OH YOU HEARD THAT #BIG GUY I WAS JOKING PLEASE HAVE MERCY #I play too much you know that sir #that is an immense insult not just to his manhood but his pride as a warrior #his trophy rack is ginormous and impressive and he’s about to make an addition to it shortly #you never insult a yautja’s trophy rack #I’ll just gaslight him and tell him he was dreaming obviously #I would never say such things #avp elder #yautja

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chirp-featherfowl · 1 year

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has this been done already

#joel smallishbeans #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #smallishbeans #'aha. you're pretty good with jokes. you're also hot. what?' AND THEN HE LEAVES #this obviously is not serious because joel is happily married bht for a guy that is happily married he sure is pretty fucking gay for jimmy #<- ALSO A JOKE I AM NOT A TRUTHER #after limited life and new life though. what is wrong with them.

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doomdoomofdoom · 1 month

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Apparently there's currently discussion in science (humanities in particular) about whether video essays could be accepted as academic writing on par with the academic papers we currently have

I think that's awesome as fuck tbh