#this is not a complaint lmao it's so fucking funny

[sunset-unbound]

i feel like the unhinged drawfee episodes were the ones where an in-episode bit got so self referential it became funny nonsense. now we're just opening with "bobby hill jablinski"

#drawfee is speedrunning having entire eps where each word needs u to have watched 2 episodes and a stream to understand #this is not a complaint lmao it's so fucking funny #drawfee #sun.txt

[amrv-5]

dashing off blog post on break between readings, not sure if coherent or even making a point so much as expressing a vague but recurrent disappointment as a late night looks like it's going to become an early morning... cw for pejorative mention of food/eating habits in relation to film portrayal, and a discussion of film portrayal of sexual violence post the cut:

Watched Sedmikrásky (Daisies) (1966) for a class today and personally found it funny, really wonderful, playful, confrontational and brilliant... had an incredible time watching it, deeply moved, found a greater appreciation for the experimental techniques it used... we've not had many female directors in this course series, and the few New Wave women we're getting have been such a personal revelation for me as a film watcher. Got excited to talk about the movie post-screening with my (male. all male) program friends (basically no female graduate students in the optional portion of the history series) but of course the first things these guys do immediately post-screening is trash the film, and not on formal grounds... Just complained about how "disgusting" and "offputting" the movie was, how it made one guy "not want to eat for the rest of the day" and "feel nauseated" and "wish he could have slept through more of it."

And what's so disgusting that a group of cis dudes who regularly watch sexploitation films and other grindhouse fare couldn't bear to watch it? Fucking. Movie where 2 conventionally attractive women: eat frequently and with a focus on enjoying food without performing delicateness for men (one woman boldly states 'I love food! I love eating!' and laughs at the disgust of the older man she and her friend are scamming for free dinner), including having a food fight; laugh and lean into physicality / bodily play (moving in funny ways for their own amusement, dancing, overapplying makeup, making unflattering faces, remapping their bodies in an extended joke sequence w/scissors; satirize stereotypes of women and expectations of behavior in patriarchal society. Etc.

Man! Point of all this being how frustrating it is to continually run up against unexamined misogyny again and again even in spaces that are supposed to be self-critical of these things. Literally what was so unbearably disgusting and threatening about watching a pretty lady on the movie screen say "I like eating cake" and then eating cake and having a food fight. How are you as a film academic more disgusted by playful feminist challenges (FROM NINETEEN FUCKING SIXTY SIX) to expectations of women's behavior than watching Bad Girls Go to Hell. Not saying that to be like There Is A Genre Of Film Which Is Morally Bad I've found thinking about some grindhouse stuff interesting/generative/whatever just it feels fucking nuts to me that a person would be comfortable sitting through scenes of explicit portrayed sexual violence against women and then go "ewww icky they had a lot of scenes where they were eating" and not see that you have a fundamental problem with misogyny in your worldview.

WAUGH! But the real problem now being is that these men are my friends, people I spend a lot of time with and thought very well of and do genuinely believe to be really decent, and even these guys who I trust and like had such a fundamentally awful response to the bare minimum of disrupting the idea that Maybe Women Aren't Just For You To Enjoy Looking At...?

I cannot overemphasize how fucking completely tame the "disgusting" parts of this movie are. This is the 'worst' scene in the whole film by these guys' criteria, and it's literally just 2 women eating cake and throwing it at each other and laughing and then doing a dance on a table.

Well anyway. IDK ! Not sure how to or if I even should try to bring it up again. I don't want to be responsible for being the Feminist to grown male colleagues who should know better but at the same time I was so offput by their reactions to the movie I almost feel like I can't let it go without at least gently asking at a later date if the dudes can elaborate on their "disgust" -- they made it explicitly clear it was about the eating, though, already, which seems like a lost cause. It's just women eating. Grow up. You'll live.

#cw ed #sort of? touches those themes in complaint about film reception #more in my feelings about this than i thought lmao whoops sorry for the paragraphs #just. jesus christ #it was a brilliant film and i cannot believe the fucking reception. #guy even tried to claim it “failed at being funny” fuck offfffff #now belatedly wondering if living with a slovakian for 4 years primed me to better appreciate humor in czechoslovakian film (1966 remember) #but mostly i just think these guys had a disgust reaction to a feminist text they completely failed to examine. awesome #well i'll deal just frustrated and tired right now. maybe 2 more hours of work to go though so onwards and back to it? #ugh. #film #silly wizard job #Youtube

[you-have-startled-the-witch]

btw this is a preston garvey love and appreciation blog. if you hate preston you will die by my blade.

MINUTEMAN BLAST

#thewitchbitches #this is my first text post in a very long time lmao #but anyway i fucking love characters that are good and hopeful even when the world gives them no reason to be #who are kind and will fight tooth and nail to make the world a little brighter every day #not because theyre naive or havent experienced pain #but because they know things can be better #also especially love and relate to like. him being depressed and passively suicidal #and his only reason to keep going being that little tiny spark of compassion and hope #that tiny bit of light that says that you can still help someone. going forward just for that #and just #him feeling like he has nothing after the fall of quincy but still leading the survivors to safety #because he is a GOOD LEADER #he cares about the people under his protection and he stays strong for them #if there was any justice in this fuckin world thered have been a quest to retake quincy #and preston would have been the leader of the minutemen #he always sticks to his morals and stands up for the right thing #plus once you help him open up and remember life is worth living hes a good friend and a funny guy? #also settlement quests are fun #sorry that your biggest complaint about a character is that he (checks notes) asks you to do your job and help people #just idk i love reading through his voice lines theyre so good #when you hurt your limbs he says stuff like 'dont worry i wont leave you' #and all his lines for locations like 'one day children will play here again' and 'reminds you the world can still be a beautiful place' #his relentless optimism even when he ADMITS that he doesnt want to live is so fucking good #and hes SMART hes DISCIPLINED his kindness and idealism never take away from that #also #he has a cool hat

[yourfourthparent]

love seeing posts that are like "i block people who like/post about/do this" and it's something i do from someone i have interacted with multiple times

#about the post in the lester tag that's like 'where did the japollo/nipollo/perpollo shit come from' #cuz. how did i see that post. why am i not blocked. #not gonna say anything in response because i like that person's art and would like to continue seeing it so yk please don't block me #but like. that's so funny. #anw biggest complaint is that they totally got apollo's arc in toa wrong. it wasn't a romance thing. #there was no 'i don't need a relationship to be happy' it was 'i did fucked up shit and should stop doing that actually' #with some regard to relationships and what he did in those. but there was no arc about not needing them. he knows he doesn't. #he's just into dating. he doesn't think he needs to be with someone at any point. #REYNA'S arc in toa wound up with that conclusion but apollo's never did lmao #that wasn't the point yk. it was that he was an asshole and he should stop being an asshole. #cuz yk. he was an asshole. but he never thought he needed a relationship to fix him. #anyways. the trend of shipping him with these guys is because they have interactions. hope this helps. #bitches will ship anyone who has a single interaction with anyone!!!!! or even if they have No interactions (cough cough valdangelo) #(no valdangelo hate btw i also ship them lol) #like. they talk. ship them. it's not new. #ANYWAYS lmao #the coca cola company's cock and ball stories #the coca cola collective #the coca cola company buys chbc

[flamingtouya]

𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —

pairing: dabi + f!reader

word count: 4381

cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two

summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.

a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)

Mar 02  10:07 PM

Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out Unknown: And paper towels

You: who is this??

Unknown: So funny

You: u got the wrong number my guy 

Unknown: Shit Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn? 

You: try the convenience store You: where’s the body at, anyways

Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out

You: sounds enticing You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast

You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though

Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong

You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨

Unknown: U sound cute Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime

You: that’s so sexist You: and correct You: you'd do numbers on reddit

Mar 03 00:16 AM

You: hey don’t leave now

Mar 03 00:34 AM

Unknown: Had a body to take care of

You: you didn’t wait for me? :(

Unknown: … Unknown: Are u fr

You: ofc not You: i don’t hang out with edgelords

Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways

You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me

Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness 

Mar 03 01:09 AM

Unknown: So wyd

You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?

Unknown: I do Unknown: I want to bother you tho

You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this

Unknown: Is that a complaint

You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up

Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid 

You: can’t mute unknown numbers

Unknown: Save this one then Unknown: Or block me idc

You: what name should i put it under

Unknown: Dabi 

You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord

Dabi: Stfu

You: good night to you too

Mar 03  07:58 AM

You: fuck

Mar 03 3:56 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me that bad 

Mar 03 4:32 PM

You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely

Mar 03 5:19 PM 

Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society

You: why what do you do

Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it

You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for You: did you just get up

Dabi: Hey now  Dabi: Yes  Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle

You: you are everything I am jealous of

Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good 

You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u

Dabi: Omg no way 

Mar 03 5:40 PM

You: no way what

Dabi: No way you said something witty 

Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all

You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul

Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already 

You: your turn

Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me

Dabi: That was a lie 

You: so you’re a liar

Dabi: I suppose I might be

You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. <3

Mar 03 9:12 PM

You: you probably have daddy issues

Mar 03 11:34 PM 

Dabi: Mind your business 

You: so i’m right

Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it

You: that’s a yes then

Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad 

You: LMAO You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then

Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off

You: alright i’ll stop digging You: wait how old are you You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude You: please no

Mar 04 00:02 AM

Dabi: Chill I’m 48

Mar 04 00:06 AM 

You: say sike right now You: if u rly are then i’m half your age

Dabi: You thought Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho

You: give or take a few days lol

Dabi: When’s your birthday 

You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it

Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older 

You: 🤨 You: it’s at the end of this month

Dabi: Baby 

You: are u flirting with me or insulting me

Dabi: Can’t I be doing both 

Mar 04 06:30 AM

You: love me a guy who can multitask You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels

Mar 04 11:11 AM

You: it’s 11:11 make a wish

Mar 04 2:02 PM

You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule

Mar 04 2:59 PM 

Dabi: Anybody hear sum 

You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping

Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy

You: X

Dabi: What's that mean

You: X for doubt You: it’s a meme

Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔

You: ew

Dabi: I was joking  Dabi: …unless 

You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate

Mar 04 7:10 PM

Dabi: What do you study 

You: are you trying to find out my location

Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it

You: that’s a consolation You: forensic science You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting

Dabi: So you do have bleach 

You: never said i didn’t

Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score

You: we haven’t met You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u

Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho

You: bet You: are you handsome You: asking for a friend You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying

Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking 

You: ...well played

Mar 04 10:09 PM 

Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy 

You: thought you were “freelancing”

Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age

You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀

Dabi: Perhaps I do

You: u r so mysterious You: tell me an opinion 

Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird 

You: that’s not an opinion 

Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population

You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself 

Mar 05 02:26 AM

Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few 

Mar 05 05:16 AM

You: what are you, some kind of druglord This message could not be delivered.

You: I knew it This message could not be delivered.

Mar 0512:03 PM

You: ayo are you still there This message could not be delivered.

You: this is only funny if you come clean right now This message could not be delivered.

Mar 05 4:16 PM

You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days? This message could not be delivered.

You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u This message could not be delivered.

You: won't even miss u This message could not be delivered.

Mar 06 09:00 AM

You: hello is this thing on This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 3:15 PM

You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324 This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 8:46 PM

You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant sencha if they have the good one ground pepper, lemon juice This message could not be delivered.

Mar 08 04:44 AM

Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams

You: I'm killing you You: violently

Unknown: I was hoping softly Unknown: With your song

You: are these messages being monitored You: am i a suspect

Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate Unknown: I guess now they are

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing

Dabi: Aw you missed me Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest

You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw

Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎

You: somehow i have doubts about that statement You: animal abuse is no joke

Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything

You: 69

Mar 08 08:21 AM

Dabi: It was 72 Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return

You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question

Dabi: No

You: in that case You: which of the following activities did you partake in? 1.) vandalism 2.) drug dealing 3.) drug trafficking 4.) violent crimes 5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals 6.) assisting someone in a violent crime 7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime 8.) theft 9.) robbery 10.) hate crimes against a minority 11.) politically motivated acts of defiance 12.) consumption of illegal substances 13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement 14.) domestic terrorism 15.) human trafficking 16.) money laundering 17.) having a good time

Dabi: What the fuck Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice? Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13 Dabi: My turn Dabi: What's your favourite food

You: fr, just like that You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring

Dabi: I ask what I ask

You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement

Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent

Mar 08 10:52 AM

You: i want another question

Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead

You: fine i'll take it You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities

Dabi: Yeah

You: …and?

Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?

You: fine

Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11 Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing

You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad

Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in

You: uh huh, taking notes You: anyway. you get one question. think hard

Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be

You: you're impossible

Mar 08 1:27 PM

You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess

Mar 08 2:23 PM

Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long Dabi: I wouldn't know

You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it

Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out

You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you

Dabi: I love surprises

You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture

Mar 08 7:18 PM

Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec

You: …oh no

Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario

You: alright lay it on me big boy

Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?

You: this is not forensic at all You: how strong is the electricity You: is there a way to shut it off You: where would you hold onto the fence You: can it be damaged

Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person

You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE

Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place

You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution You: will that be all

Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear

You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION

Mar 09 00:08 AM

Dabi: Excellent Dabi: Gonna do some field research Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day

Mar 09 08:01 AM

You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage This message could not be delivered.

Mar 11 6:10 PM

Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho

Mar 11 6:39 PM

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: you're so hot when you're alive 

Mar 11 9:14 PM

Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏

You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery

Dabi: The slipperiest Dabi: You couldn't handle me

You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box  You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth 

Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay 

You: of course 

Dabi: I'm liking this scenario 

Mar 12 01:07 AM 

Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like

Mar 12 01:23 AM

You: i need u 

Dabi: Tell me more

You: to shut your mouth

Dabi: Are you trying to romance me

Mar 12 07:15 AM

You: i'm actually so upset right now  You: can i vent

Mar 12 07:27 AM

Dabi: Listening Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out

You: you're not empathetic enough for that 

Dabi: How would you know 

You: call it a woman's intuition  You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles

Dabi: Let's hear it girl  Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅

You: damn right they aren't You: but unrelated to that You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week  You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee

Dabi: What type of medication 

You: Ativan You: it's prescription only

Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only" 

You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug You: just feel like dying rn

Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this  Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery 

You: ...fukuju pharmacy

Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl 

You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden 

Mar 12 10:02 AM

Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine  Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy  Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?

You: ? ? ?

Mar 12 10:34 AM 

You: did you commit a crime for me  You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast

Dabi: I don't kiss and tell

You: did you follow me home  You: is this how i die

Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep

You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn

Dabi: Whore Dabi: (Respectfully)

You: lmao ur right You: thank you for real though

Dabi: Stfu

Mar 12 1:33 PM

Dabi: Do u like cats

You: yes

Dabi sent an image.

Dabi: Noodle thieving menace 

You: 🥹 You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen

Dabi: He’s hella fast 

You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once

Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime 

Mar 13 00:00 AM

Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post. Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT' Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP' 

You: i know it's you shithead

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: STOP

Unknown: LMAO you thought

Dabi was saved as a contact. 

You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤

Mar 13 04:55 AM

Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics 

Mar 13 06:09 AM

You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought

Dabi: Is it working

You: evidently not

Dabi: Use me in ur thesis  Dabi: I'll be your lab rat

You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars You: what do you have me saved as in your phone

Dabi: I don't save contacts  Dabi: Especially not yours  Dabi: You mean nothing to me 

You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth

Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list

You: do u delete these chats

Dabi: Always

You: that's so romantic You: admit it you're actually a softie

Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me  Dabi: Then I'm the softest 

You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest

Dabi: ... Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that  Dabi: You've left me speechless 

You: 🥵🥵

Dabi: What's your worst quality  Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass  Dabi: *irritating 

You: was that a freudian slip You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable

Dabi: Proving my point so diligently 

You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently' You: i'm rather talkative at times You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me

Dabi: I never would've guessed

You: what's yours? You: besides the obvious

Dabi: Still putting up with you 

Mar 13 7:45 PM

Dabi: Wyd 

You: i burned my rice a little You: but it's edible

Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you 

You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time

Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either 

You: eh, they're alright You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏

Dabi: Omg sick Dabi: Me next

You: it was implied

Mar 13 11:11 PM

Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime  Dabi: No strings attached ofc 

You: i'm down

Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all

You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw

Dabi: I can't tomorrow  Dabi: What about the day after Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed

You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person? You: the day after sounds good

Dabi: Preem

You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station You: about time you had some good karaage You: my treat You: unless that's too far away for u

Dabi: I would fly across the world for u Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine

Mar 14 08:49 AM

You: how will i recognise u You: what do u look like

Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss 

You: i laughed

Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then  Dabi: Do tattoos scare you

You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else You: stand there with your tongue out

Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳

You: don't get any ideas  You: i don't intend to fuck u You: ...for now

Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards 

Mar 14 1:42 PM 

Dabi sent an image. 

Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way 

You: hhh fuck You: are u trying to intimidate me You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe

Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place 

You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u

Dabi: Bet 

You sent an image. 

Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different

You: 😳 You: i'm actually worse

Dabi: We're such a good match

You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe

Dabi: Please shut up

Mar 14 4:16 PM

Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything  Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol 

You: you have such a unique way with words 

Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way 

You: can we make that the first line in our sextape  You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it You: does that make you feel emasculated

Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks  Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule 

You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad 

Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement 

You: you're giving me ideas You: is there a bounty on your head

Dabi: I'm not that important 

Mar 14 9:44 PM

You: so you're just too good to get caught

Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it 

You: thanks for clarifying  You: i feel so safe now 

Dabi: Anytime  Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing 

You: 10 am is crazy  You: u r so vain 

Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔

You: i take it back You: be pretty for me

Mar 15 5:30 AM

You: can't sleep 

Mar 15 7:12 AM

Dabi: How the turntables  Dabi: Are you alright

You: yes  You: it's the good kind of sleepless 

Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all  Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too

You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself 

Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again 

You: should've ghosted me before i got attached

Mar 15 9:54 AM

Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully  

You: you make it so tempting 

Dabi: Getting out of bed then 

You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe

Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth

Mar 15 12:08 PM

Dabi sent a location pin.

Dabi: Is this the place

You: that's the one  You: be there in a few minutes 

Dabi: I'm waiting outside 

Mar 15 12:13 PM

You: omg i think i see u You: im shy

Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me 

You: give me a second You: alright I'm coming over This message could not be delivered.

#dabi #dabi x reader #touya todoroki #touya c reader #todoroki touca #bnha #dabi x you #touya x you #bnha x reader #todoroki touya x reader #todoroki toya x reader #league of villains #league of villains x reader #bnha x you #i hate that there are so many tags #my writing #(sort of?) #this was honestly super fun :> #x

[truetealtears]

‘Why is Gale depicted as the default leader in the animated short?’

Because he cooks

When you’re a rag tag group of people scraping by in the wilderness; you do not fuck with the guy who feeds you (minus Astarion who’s fucking around and finding out who he can/cannot feed on lmao)

Yeah you can tease him and make fun of him and you don’t have to like him (all of which we can see different characters doing) but you don’t make an enemy of the camp cook, not without very good reason (especially if he cooks well - Which he seems to, there’s no complaints. His dialogue tells you it’s clearly a hobby of his, so he knows what he’s doing, plus everyone saying he’s like fantasy Greek - I hear you and you’re right).

And we can see that because no one has major beef w Gale (that I’m aware of lol), some find him at bit insufferable but no one actively hates him (at least initially, idk what some of you are doing in ur playthroughs)

Not to say they’d immediately appoint him as Mr Leader Man after one meal but they’d definitely be more willing to listen to his ideas and consider them. Plus they know Gale is smart (book smart at least), they can all agree that he isn’t stupid and his plans are likely to be plausible/reasonable (for the group ofc, we all know what this man will do to himself if you let him). He gets bonus points for being quite sociable and generally approving of doing The Right Thing, while also having enough of a moral grey area to hear the others out on their more… eccentric ideas (see his dialogue about making use of the Illithid powers and stuff)

So yeah I think all of this would culminate in him being the default leader when there’s no player influence (aka when tav doesn’t exist and ur not controlling someone else)

Funny side note: the initial data larian released kinda backs me up in a roundabout way; with Gale being the most commonly chosen origin lol

To me this means that after Tav, Gale is the most likely candidate for leader. So imagine all the drama that plays out when he’s like ‘hey guys it’s been nice and I’m glad I could help you all with some of ur problems but my ex my goddess is telling me to go kill myself so’

Even when you’re playing as Tav everyone thinks it’s stupid for Gale to go kill himself because Mystra said so. They’re all like ‘that isn’t fair/what a waste’ (further evidence that no one truly hates him thanks). So now when he’s their leader I imagine they’re like ‘NOOOOOO’

#bg3 gale #baldurs gate gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 tav #bg3 posting #bg3

[kissforyouu]

Would you ever write a little drabble or something of oc having a huge reaction & going off at jk & how he responds? Or how he just crumbles lmao like you said he would 😭😂

"but then it didn't make sense, noh? i asked rhea about the theme and it was beach. the clothes they've provided us with are nowhere near beach? i don't know how we're gonna come up with a beachy look with those. i mean, kook, it's literally a long dress. even worse, it's fucking formal! who wears formal to the beach? nobody! but you know what the worst part is? they said we weren't allowed to use the given clothes to make new ones. like, what? that doesn't make sense at all", you continued with your rant, "it's unfair, to be honest. it was just our time and like 2 more out of the entire competition who got these non beachy looking clothes. it doesn't make sense. but we're all thinking of making a complaint. i have to win, you know." you nod, body slanted against the table.

"what do you think—" pause.

"you're not even listening are you?" you glare at your boyfriend, who's been glued to his phone for the past 20 minutes. he's watching some football match. a fucking football match.

he mindlessly nods, pretending to listen. he doesn't even know what you're saying!

"you're not listening to me."

once he just nods again, you groan and then just slap his arm. jungkook jolts at the sudden hit from you, looking up from his phone.

"what?"

"you're not listening to me." you whine.

"hm, no, i was." liar.

"quit lying, jungkook."

"nah, nah, i was." he looks back at his phone again. you hate when he acted like this. makes you feel ignored.

"see! again! you're not listening to me!" you shout, throwing your hands in the air.

jungkook groans, rolling his eyes at you. you gasp, looking at your boyfriend with pure shock. did he just roll his eyes at you? oh no, he didn't!

"my bad."

the short careless responds were annoying you to the core.

"okay." your voice is stern. you get up, stomping your way around his room. he still doesn't bother to look at you or anything, eagerly watching his match. and just because you're such a dramatic spoiled bitch, you grab your bag and put on your shoes. your boyfriend, who was playing with his lower lip, drifts his eyes away from his stupid football match for a moment. and suddenly, he starts panicking.

nah, you were gonna leave. oh he messed up.

"baby, where you going?" his lazy ass finally gets up from his bed, brushing his hands on his sweats as he walked towards you.

you scoff, looking away dramatically.

"home."

"nah, come on, stay." he grips onto your arm tightly.

"no. because my boyfriend who invited ME over isn't paying me any attention because of some stupid fucking football game!"

"baby, i'm so sorry, okay? i didn't realise. now come on, don't go."

you squint your eyes and look at your boyfriend with a glare. and because you love the game, you decline again.

"y/n, i'll be better, come onnn. you can't just leave. i'm sorry i was being an ass to you earlier. please stay. let's cuddle and watch a movie or something. i'll rub your feet and give you a massage too." you try not to break into a laugh at the rubbing your feet part and somehow manage to keep an expressionless face.

"you need to be put on timeout."

"okay, say less."

jungkook walks back to his bed, sits on and faces his wall. he stares at it blankly as if he was a toddler who had just gotten scolded by their parent. the sight was hilarious. god, the things he does because of you. i mean, you didn't mean it literally, but he just accepted it.

"am i good now?" your boyfriend peaks at you slowly. you scowl. he slightly finds it funny and cute at the same time. everything you do is cute for him.

"come on, sweetheart. don't look at me like that." you kiss your teeth at his slightly flirty comment.

"okay. i'll stay." jungkook releases a loud sigh, falling back onto the bed.

"you're so dramatic sometimes."

"I'M LEAVING!"

(okay ik this isn't a major argument but i js thought this would be cute😭😭)

taglist:

@fungie2332 @wintertxt @wheexine @hyunjinswifeee @ohsweetmimosa @canyon-txt @kooreo @rrosiitas @goldenjeonkoo

#jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts #bts jk #bts smut #jungkook smut #smut

[camgoloud]

what i really love about That dinner scene in harrow the ninth (no not dios apate minor the other That one) is that it is strongly implied in the text that john like. knew what was in the soup from the very beginning. we get told that he had a single spoonful before immediately putting it down and taking “a discreet sip of water” and obviously on first reading it’s just sort of “oh lmao harrow’s cooking is That Bad” but actually the thing is that everyone else eats it with minimal complaints so like. it can’t actually just be that the soup was objectively THAT bad right. no he 100% knew what was up right away especially considering his utter lack of surprise when harrow then Makes Her Move and all. which then makes it insanely funny to me that instead of. you know. DOING ANYTHING about the fact that all of his friends and disciples were eating human bone marrow which is a thing he personally finds disgusting and possibly even thinks is morally wrong, depending on how you interpret “ten thousand years since i’ve eaten human being and i didn’t really want an encore”. instead of stepping in and doing anything about this and maybe asking harrow “hello what is up with this behavior” he simply decides to sit there and watch everyone else at the table chow down and make polite conversation about the meal while they’re at it. like. he REALLY just chose to let it play all the way out to its conclusion for the drama of it all. just for laughs. if i had to be a cannibal once then so do all of my friends. can’t wait to see what shenanigans harrowhark gets up to next. i literally cannot with this man he is so sinister and manipulative but also just genuinely so FUCKING FUNNY sometimes what an absolute dickhead i’m obsessed with him

#the locked tomb #john gaius #absolutely batshit behavior #soup scene

[l0serloki]

Dirty Deeds

Overwatch NSFW Headcanons

(Hanzo, Widowmaker, Ashe, Junkrat)

CW : degrading, oral, sex in general, teasing, overstim, prey/hunter, mention of sex toys, uhh brat!ashe

Hanzo : 

I feel like this man has a control obsession

He definitely loves to dominate but it secretly turns him on when you take control

He’s got two moods, sweet and caring and then degrading menace

I feel like he’s a giver too,, let him pleasure you - it makes him happy (and horny)

“You feel so good around me. Been thinking about this sloppy hole all day.” Hanzo’s hand came smacking down against your thigh as your body shook. His thrusts were harsh and quick, leaving no room to even process.

“God yeah, take it. You love it. Stick your tongue out for me, slut.” You could barely open your mouth as you behaved. He spat into your mouth and used his rough fingers to shut your jaw. “Good. Now swallow.”

Widowmaker :

She definitely has the best head

She’s a switch but leans more towards top

“Oh my little bug is stuck? Let me help you out…”

Prepare for teasing overload OR overstim,, it honestly depends on what mood she’s in

She definitely knows how to use her hands - her whole job is to be accurate of course ;^>

I feel like she’s 100% into prey/hunter kink as well

You had ran across the room, Widow in tow. You had purposely played coy, knowing she would follow soon after. 

“You think you are funny, little mouse? I will eat you alive.”

You couldn’t help but moan as the woman pinned you over the bed, hands already working on your pants. Her fingers teased the sides of your thighs right next to your crotch, making you shake. “Widow please…” you murmured and she looked up from her angle. “Oh my mouse.. If you think you are going to call shots here, you are mistaken.”

Ashe :

She may be the boss of the Deadlock Gang but she isn’t the boss in bed

I feel like she loves being bossed around (she’s a total brat)

She’s the type to make snide comments all day to piss you off just so you’ll fuck her (she’s too embarrassed to ask most of the time)

I feel like she’s also the type who likes to be tied up (not the Cassidy & Ashe animation LMAO)

“Yeah well maybe if you had done the job right in the first place Y/N, we wouldn’t be here.” Ashe rolled her eyes, slamming her drink against the desk.

It had been quite a long day and the last thing you needed was her complaints running you down.

“I don’t need the attitude Ashe. If you wanted to get fucked you should’ve just said. Bend over the desk.” You stood up making your way behind the table, leading her into position.

“It wasn’t an attitude it was just the truth, pumpkin.” Ashe’s voice got quiet as your hands made their way under her blouse, groping her tits. “Yeah whatever you say. Didn’t even wear a bra today, naughty girl..”

Junkrat :

My man is a SPAZZ

He has a high sex drive 100% and will constantly be on you

I feel like he makes or gets toys to bring into the bedroom as well

He’s loud (this isn’t a surprise)

He can and will get turned on by anything, even a kiss

He LOVES getting head, you want him that bad? That’s SO sexy.

Junkrat and you had been cuddling on the couch, having a lazy day. It wasn’t long before a heated make out session started. Jamison pulled away to grin at you. 

“I’m not going to lie, I have a bit of an issue.” His eyes wondered down and you could only snort. He always had this issue. You suppose you could help him out..

You sunk in between his legs, hand rubbing his tent as the other began peeling his pants off.

“Oh doll, you're too good to me. Just like that!”

#overwatch #overwatch imagines #overwatch headcanons #hanzo shimada #hanzo #hanzo x reader #hanzo x you #widowmaker #widowmaker x reader #widowmaker x you #ashe #ashe x reader #ashe x you #junkrat #junkrat x reader #junkrat x you #hanzo x reader smut #widowmaker x reader smut #ashe x reader smut #junkrat x reader smut

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen x HornerDaughter!

Part 16 omggg thank you guys for all your support, let me know what you guys think and if you think Leni is being annoying LMAO I love the interaction tho from you guys :) LINK to the previous part. Leni organises her sudden trip home in which Christian and Daniel have some complaints about. There seems to be no escaping Max however, after a shared bottle or two of champagne, surprise, surprise, all Leni’s plans may have just gone out the window…

“You’re going home? What to Monaco or England?” My dad frowned, as soon as I walked into the room. “England, yeah.” I nodded, taking my laptop off the side.

“When? When was this planned?” The crease in his brown only furrowed further. “Last night.” I chewed on the lolly stick that had been in my mouth for far too long. “Well are you coming to Vegas? With Geri?”

“Mm, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “What’s that?” A voice questioned. “Did I just hear you’re not coming to Vegas?” Daniel walked up from behind me, “I dunno, Daniel.” I laughed.

“Nah you can’t miss that.” My dad then spoke as I scrunched my nose. “Yeah but… I might be busy.” I pathetically lied.

“Yeah with gambling in Vegas.” Daniel commented as I smiled slightly. “Oh I don’t know Leni, if you do want to go home that bad then Max is flying to Monaco tonight, at least then you’re pretty much home. Why don’t you stay in Monaco?” No because Max is there who is the exact person I was supposed to be avoiding?

“Eh, I wanna go home.” I shrugged as both Daniel and my dad shared a funny expression. “Weird. But okay.” Daniel commented. “Only for a little while.” I felt my face heating up from their slight concern. “Well I’ll ask Max if you can go with him, I don’t want you travelling around the world by yourself-” fuck off-

“No, you don’t have to do that.” I shrugged as my dad pulled another funny expression. “Like, what if the jets already full.”

“It’s literally just Max and like two others going home.” He justified and I cringed. There truly was no getting out of this- so when I was clambering the steps up the jet I was feeling extra uneasy. I wasn’t the best traveller, and now I was virtually alone with Max, exactly what I was avoiding. I had no self control- the minute he came up behind me I thought I’d faint from nerves.

“How come you’re leaving so soon?” He questioned, taking my hand luggage out of my hand as he walked behind me up the stairs. “Oh- thank you..” I turned back down to him, clumsily, sliding against the metal of the stairs, before clambering my way back up again. I pulled a face, cringing from embarrassment one he couldn’t see.

“Uh, I just wanted to go home for a bit, see my friends, you know.” I shrugged, greeting the flight attendants who handed a glass of champagne as soon as we stepped onto the jet. Whilst that was luxurious, I could imagine it was a stupid idea- for me at least. The glass would be empty within 5 minutes.

“Are you not coming to Vegas?” Max questioned, putting my phone up in the storage above our heads, followed by his. I perched on one of the seats and he took the row beside me. My dad meant it when there was only two other people on the jet- it seemed they were pretty keen on catching sleep as soon as they hit the seats.

“I dunno, I think so.”

“What?” He bluntly spoke, turning to face me. I gazed back over to him with a gentle smile. “I probably will, Max.”

“Just wanna go home for a while?”

“Yeah, exactly.” I nodded along as he offered me another smile. A gentle one, understanding. I felt guilty for feeling how I did- I was scared. I knew Max would never hurt me, not when he was this kind and soft spoken- but still. My eyes landed on my glass and I took a couple swigs, finishing the liquid when the doors of the jet shut.

“Are you nervous?” Max then asked just as I was scanning out of the window. The sun was beginning to set, truthfully it looked beautiful- but I was always freaked getting on a flight.

“Can you tell?” I smiled as the woman topped up my glass, telling me to drink it quick before they took off. Max looked at his own, swigging it down before accepting his second refill.

“Well there’s nothing to be scared of… not with this anyway.” He lifted up the glass and I mimicked, swigging the expensive, fizzy drink. I offered him a gentle smile, eyes trailing over him before attempting to ‘relax’ back in my seat.

The whole take off I was gripping at the seat, scrunching my eyes closed. Being on a plane a lot smaller than I was used to, it seemed I could hear everything in the planes engines. It took me a couple moments to actually glance out the window, stunned at how far up we’d travelled so quick.

“You okay?” Max laughed from besides me, entertained by my freak out. He was perched on the edge of his seat, looking up from his phone, half concerned, half amused. “I think I need another drink…” I dramatically spoke, the Dutchman laughed again. “So it’s going to be that type of a flight?”

“It’s always that type of a flight for me.” My eyes squinted slightly as his smile grew. “Mind if I drink with you?”

“No, not at all.” I giggled. “We can celebrate your 17th win!” I shrugged, the bubbled already going to my head. The woman came back around, this time leaving us with the bottle of champagne. It reminded me of that night on the beach that Mad and I first sat and talked properly together. It was the night I allowed my crush to grow out of control. This time we sat together on two seats of his jet, it was the middle of the night and there was no reason to be so excitable. Max and I giggled, the over head light sending an orange glow over us as the two men in front of us attempted to sleep. “Sh.” I nudged him, the liquid had spilt down his top, he’d physically spat it out, choking from laughter when his mouth was too full from the liquid. (I may or may not have squeezed his cheeks together).

Max glanced towards the man who pressed his travelling pillow harder over his ear before spluttering out another laugh in my direction. I went to roll my eyes, before I could Max had thrown his remains of champagne over my chest and vest top. My eyes almost bulged out my head and I had to slap my hand over my mouth to avoid the screech of laughter that was about to leave my mouth.

“Max!” I gasped, attempting to stay quiet. This is when we got silly. I took my fuller glass and went to swill him, he pushed my hand away and instead it fell down the side of the seat, down his bare leg. He ‘pfffted’ out a laugh, pushing the liquid back towards me and causing it to spill again all down my front.

I gasped, glancing down myself before looking up to him again. He was giggling, overwhelmingly amused. At least it was his plane we were semi destroying. “Prick!” I whispered, glancing down myself. Thankfully I had my glass of water sitting on my tray, so I reached out, taking it and swilling him so quickly he could barely react.

“Le-” he went to cry out but gave up. This is when I burst out laughing much to the other two men’s dismay. Max touched my arm, unable to hold back his laughter, falling forwards half onto me in uncontrolled fits of giggles.

“We’re really annoying them now.” I whispered poking my head over the back of the chairs ahead of us. The men were frowning and covering their ears in annoyance. I switched the light off ahead of me and Max held his hand over his mouth. “Sh.” I playfully pushed at his knee, the alcohol giving me the buzz I needed to ignore all my issues.

“My clothes are so sticky.” I cringed, pulling at the wet material away from my boobs, my nipples and piercings were poking through and Max thought it was hilarious to turn the overhead cooler on. “No.” I stated firmly, switching it off and taking another swig of the champagne.

“Take them off.” Max shrugged as I met his gaze. “I’m sure they love it.” I teasingly nodded towards the two men. Max’s eyes glanced up from my boobs before laughing at my comment. “I’m sure you would too.” I perched on the edge of my chair.

“You know I would.” He smirked, fiddling with the bottom of his wet shirt. I gulped, grateful he wasn’t looking at me as I did so and glanced down over his face. Why did he have to be so attractive? It would be easier if he wasn’t.

“Max.” My voice fell to an amused laughter, feeling the sticky spray of champagne down my seat when I shuffled back. “Only telling the truth.” He shrugged as I smiled gently, blinking away from his face. His hand smoothed over the bare of my thigh and my stomach tingled and turned at the softness of his skin on mine.

“It would be comfier with it all off.” I half laughed, Max smiled and I watched the way his eyes fell to my lips. “Maybe I could if we were alone.” I don’t know what prompted me to say it, but Max was reaching out for my face, pulling my cheek in to kiss me with such desperation I could barely comprehend.

He struggled, pushing up the arm rest as he knelt on the plush chair, pushing me down gently against the wall of the plane. He was coming on strong- not forceful or weird, I liked it, the taste of alcohol on his lips was inviting and his tongue was warm across mine, hands smoothing over every inch of my body.

I pulled at his shirt, tugging him closer, he stumbled between my legs pressing himself up on the arm rest behind me as we made out like nobody else was on the plane. I could feel his heavy breath against my face, he’d pant every now and then and I was completely lost in the moment, slipping my hands under his shirt, until he swiped his hand, cupping over my clothed pussy. No, no. This is exactly what I wasn’t going to do. I broke the kiss, panting and meeting his eye in the dark surroundings, recognising properly where we were. “We can’t.” I whispered. Max glanced around sheepishly and pushed himself up. “Fuck. Should I just kick them off?” He joked and my eyes flickered to the bathroom.

No, Leni, no. Absolutely not.

“Wha- Leni.” Max began, turning to look back at the vacant bathroom. “Fuck, I don’t even care.” Max extended his hand and I glanced between it and the bathroom. Would one last time really hurt? Especially if we were wasted and it was in an aeroplane bathroom- surely that couldn’t count.

I took Max’s hand and followed him into the tiny bathroom, the tension hot and heavy between us, sneaking off in a hurried hush…

___________________________________________

Taglist: @ironmaiden1313 @callsignwidow @fangirl125reader @norassimpingzone @roseseraj @eugene-emt-roe @copper-boom @its-elias-world @cassiopeiia24@larastark3107 @maxxiemoo @crashingwavesofeuphoria @18754389 @eviethetheatrefreak @rossylightwood

#Max verstappen x OC #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen fanfiction #Max Verstappen x reader #Max Verstappen x Hornerdaughter

[ragnarokhound]

((you don’t have to do both if you don’t want to, you can consider this one a back up / alt))

“If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here.” 💞

From this writing prompt list i reblogged in...november lmao fljdsjfa

anyway this grew legs and sprinted away the second I picked it up yesterday - clearly it just needed some time to proof lmao. Thank you for the ask, tauria!! From *checks watch* almost 5 months ago fjdslafjsa I will be cross-posting it to Ao3 in my new oneshot collection fic :)

Warnings for: Vague allusions that Ra's Al Ghul is a creep (what else is new), threats of gun violence, canon-typical violence

15. “If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here.”

When Tim arrived in Gotham this morning, he had no way of knowing that his day would end in Jason Todd’s bed. 

Frankly, he wasn’t really sure what bed he’d end up in— because his own certainly wasn’t an option right now. But If he had to pick, Jason Todd’s was somewhere near the bottom of whatever list he’d make.

He didn’t exactly plan on this, okay? 

But, uh. Let’s back up a little.

—

Tim knew his day was going to go to shit when he got back from the airport at 7 AM.

He had his driver drop him off two blocks away from his townhouse for the sake of caffeine at the hole in the wall place he likes. Wealthy CEO he may be, but a sixteen hour flight is still a sixteen hour flight and Tim is cursed with an inability to sleep in the air. 

Don’t ask. He’s tried. It doesn’t work.

So he wants coffee, and he wants a shower, and he wants his own bed. In that order.

With the first thing on his list acquired and blessedly burning his tongue, he managed to tug his brain cells together enough to realize that the building they’d passed that had been shrouded in tents and canvas was his building.

"What's going on here?"

The worker outside his building looks up from her clipboard, her face wrinkling into apprehensive confusion.

"Hello, sir. Can I help you?”

He hasn’t slept in roughly seventy two hours. He is not awake or patient enough for this.

“My name is Tim Drake. I own this building. What’s going on here?” He repeats.

The woman raises her eyebrows and looks down at her clipboard again. “Mr. Drake?” She questions, clearly expecting him to look like a grown-ass man and not a sleep-deprived college student coming home from spring break or whatever.

“Yes. Timothy Drake-Wayne. Why are you—” he tries to gesture with the hand still holding his suitcase handle, walking towards the tarps and tents erected around his townhouse with increasing trepidation, “—here?”

“I’m sorry sir, but you can’t go in there. Not for at least forty-eight hours.”

Tim stops in his tracks.

“Forty-eight—?”

“We've been scheduled to fumigate the property today.” She says it like she’s reading it out of a handbook. “It won't be safe to enter the building for at least forty-eight hours. You should have received prior notice. Uh. Sir.”

Tim's jet-lagged brain kicks into overdrive. 

Bruce hasn't made any disappointed noises about Tim’s perfectly normal work ethic lately so it probably wasn't a misguided attempt at benching him. And besides, rendering Tim’s apartment inaccessible is counterproductive on that front. 

Dick wouldn’t. They haven’t been exactly— great, lately but he wouldn’t. Besides, if he wanted to get Tim out of the house more, he’d show up to drag Tim out into the daylight himself. This is a little too roundabout for him.

It’s too much work to be Steph. She would think it’s funny, but there’s no way she’d follow through.

Damian might, but this doesn’t quite fit his preferred methods for making Tim’s life hell. It could be some cloak and dagger maneuver to leave him vulnerable, faking a complaint to the city so he’ll—

And then Tim thinks about the call.

The call he’d brushed off at fuck o’clock in the morning somewhere over Europe, too busy with another project. The call his secretary took for him instead. He thinks about the distracted confirmation he’d given to whatever it was she’d asked him about five minutes later. 

He also thinks about the form he signed about two weeks ago, before this last minute trip to Hong Kong had consumed his entire attention. The one with “Two Weeks Notice” stamped across the top. His stomach sinks.

“Today,” he repeats.

She looks apologetic. “Today,” she confirms. “And we just started about an hour ago. I’m very sorry, Mr. Drake-Wayne but—”

"No it's—" he says through gritted teeth, "fine. I'll just. Make other arrangements."

—

He does not make other arrangements. Though not for lack of trying.

Tim has a handful of safehouses scattered throughout the city. He has options. He gets a taxi to the closest neighborhood, and nearly falls asleep in the backseat. The cabby has to knock on the glass divider to get his attention when they come to a stop. He grumbles and hauls his suitcase out of the backseat, and tips the man excessively.

Shower. Bed. Sleep. He’s so close he could cry.

Except when he finally rolls around the block, coffee half gone and trying to remember if this safehouse is the one with in-unit laundry or if he’ll have to haul his shit down to the laundry room, his building is a blackened husk with police tape all around it.

He stops on the sidewalk. He peers up at the window of his unit, squinting at the peeling black wood and shattered glass. He ponders whether two is enough data points to be considered a pattern. And whether he could get away with napping in the alley on this street or if that’ll end with him stabbed and robbed.

As he’s pondering, he catches sight of a passerby and stops him.

“‘Scuse me,” he says apologetically. “What the hell happened here?”

The guy looks up from his phone and takes in his rumpled clothes, his suitcase, and the scorched remains of his apartment.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, there was a big fire about a week back? Bad fire. Took out, like, half the block. Cops are saying it’s arson.”

“A week ago,” Tim repeats. The guy’s eyes widen.

“Oh shit, bro, did you live here?”

“I’ve been out of town,” he explains numbly.

“Dude, that sucks. And right in the middle of con’ season. Good luck finding a hotel!”

“Yeah,” Tim sighs as the guy walks away. “Thanks.”

—

The next safehouse he tries isn’t in much better shape. 

He remembers hearing about Freeze going on a rampage a few days into his trip, but he hadn’t realized another one of his places had been caught in the cross-fire. The cold burst the pipes, and now the whole place is undergoing renovation.

He hears all this from the crotchety old lady who lives in the next building over (her building needs renovation too, but will the city pay for it? Of course not, they weren’t ‘directly impacted by disaster’ so they won’t see a penny of relief funds even though their pipes are on the same line. Typical) and when he finally extricates himself from the conversation, it’s almost noon, his second cup of coffee is long-since empty and he’s at the end of his goddamn rope.

By the time he sees his next safehouse, he isn’t even surprised anymore.

“Does God hate me?” He asks the boarded up building. “Is this a punishment? What did I do? What the fuck did I do?”

He is 99% sure at this point that someone is burning his bolt holes. There’s a short list of people with the resources and the intel to do it, and while he’s not above ruling out the likes of Damian just yet, he seriously doubts anyone wearing a bat is behind this. 

Besides, Dick would have noticed by now if Damian were sinking this many resources into convoluted covert ops designed to make Tim suffer. Definitely. Probably.

Fuck it.

He goes around the back and hops on top of his suitcase to reach the clunky camera watching the back entrance. This building is on the shittier side, closer to Crime Alley than his other haunts; cameras break all the time around here. He’ll have it replaced after he’s a functional human again.

Reportedly, this building was tagged for ‘high toxicity levels’—  which is pretty typical for any building where fear toxin or Joker gas are found in any amount. They must have found a lot to condemn the whole building, but Tim is confident he’ll be fine. The airborne shit dissipates to safe levels within hours depending on the ventilation. If it was in the air, it’s long gone. Anything else needs to be injected to be effective.

Once the camera’s busted, he kicks out the boards and heads inside.

He drags his suitcase in after him, and mourns the shower he probably won’t be getting. The hall lights are out, and chances are the water’s been shut off along with the electricity. But at this point, he simply does not give a shit. All he wants are four walls and a mattress.

Leaning on the door to his floor to make it open, he stumbles out into the hallway—

And catches sight of the glistening curved dagger stabbed into the wall next to his door, the hilt gleaming green in the sinking sun.

“Nope,” Tim says, spinning on his heel and going back down the stairwell double time. “Nope, nope, nope.”

He is now 100% certain that the League of Assassins has been burning his bolt holes. Ra’s al fucking Ghul can eat his whole ass.

—

Seven blocks away, Tim sits on the sidewalk in front of a bodega and contemplates a third cup of coffee. The shittiest one yet.

See, here’s the thing.

The thing is, he has options.

He could go to the Manor. Or the penthouse. Or to Steph’s place. He’d have to answer some unnecessary questions like ‘Master Timothy, you know you can’t sleep on aircraft, why didn’t you sleep before your flight’ or ‘Tim, why didn’t you come here first, you know you can still come to me if you’re in trouble, right’ or ‘why did you agree to fumigate your fucking house, you loser, lmao’. (Stephanie is not going to let him live this down). 

He is absolutely certain that he would be welcomed in any of these places and after a completely undeserved amount of fussing, he could take a fucking nap and someone else would deal with the League bullshit for him.

And that’s the thing. There’s the rub.

No one should have to deal with the League bullshit for him. This is his problem. He’s not in a hurry to bring them down on anyone. Not even Damian.

With grim resignation, he reaches for his phone to try and find a hotel room (during a con’ weekend apparently, RIP) and maybe get a fucking handle on this whole stupid thing, when he hears:

“Hand over your wallet!”

He lifts his head slowly and finds himself looking down the barrel of a gun. A gun held by some guy wearing a ski mask in broad fucking daylight. There’s another guy next to him who’s watching the street. There’s a third guy somewhere behind him who he can’t see, but he can hear the scuff of his boots.

Sure. Why not. With the day he’s had, this might as well happen. He holds up his hands placatingly.

Tim contemplates his muggers. The guy with the gun is jittery, probably new to this, or hopped up on something. He keeps glancing between Tim and the bodega behind him, so they were probably planning a run on the till. Might have chickened out, or thought Tim was an easier target, an unexpected meal ticket plopped right in their path. Or they were already inside when Tim sat down, which wouldn’t bode well for his situational awareness seeing as he just came out of there himself.

The grinding gears of his tired brain keep getting caught on the fact that this is happening in the middle of the fucking day. Tim glances at the street corner and bites his cheek in frustration. Yeah, he’s smack dab in the middle of the Alley. Figures.

“Are you deaf or somethin’ man?” The guy with the gun is saying. “Hand over your fucking wallet!”

The other guy doesn’t seem as crazy-eyed. He’s nervous, though. He keeps looking around like he’s expecting Batman to materialize, to come whistling down the street like a beat cop.

“Dude, come on, it’s not fucking worth it,” he says, grabbing at the gunman’s shoulder. “We got the money, let’s fucking go.”

The third guy kicks over Tim’s suitcase. “Yeah, come on, Don, let’s just grab this shit and bounce.”

Tim can’t do anything. He’s not Red Robin right now. He’s Timothy Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and he’s getting mugged in front of a bodega at two in the afternoon in a rumpled suit and tie and still toting his suitcase from his early morning flight. 

His hands are trembling from unspent adrenaline, too much caffeine, and not enough sleep. His eyelids are the heaviest they’ve ever been in his godforsaken life. His ears are ringing. He could knock all three of them down in less time than it takes to tie his shoelaces. But he can’t.

“Shut up, Johnny, look at him shaking! What’s he gonna do? If he doesn’t wanna get shot, rich boy’s gonna hand over all his fucking shit!”

“Hey, let’s just—” Tim tries to say.

Stars explode across his vision as Tim takes a punch he genuinely wasn’t expecting. He stares up at the blue sky for about half a second, more confused than anything else, before the gunman grabs him by the front of his shirt and hauls him up to shout in his face.

“What’s it gonna be, pretty boy?!”

Caught on the exhausted edge between vigilante training and the preservation of his identity, Tim is frozen. He doesn’t know what to do. He kind of wants to cry.

“Gee, Donny, what is it gonna be?” A fourth voice says, full of false cheer.

Tim blinks. So do the muggers. 

He knows that voice.

“Who the fuck—?” The gunman drops Tim, spinning around and into a fist. He tumbles down to the ground, out cold.

Everything happens pretty quickly after that.

Jason Todd is in civvies. He’s sporting a worn out looking hoodie and a pair of jeans that have seen better days. But his heavy boots are the same ones he wears for his uniform, and the kick he delivers to Johnny’s face is all Red Hood.

Almost in a daze, Tim watches him fight with the usual mix of seething envy and raw desire that rears its ugly head any time he gets to see Jason in action. He’s fast, decisive. Efficient. Beautiful. Tim wishes he had Jason’s skill. And he wishes— 

Well. He wishes a lot of things about Jason Todd.

Tim is pretty sure he and Jason are friends. Maybe. Probably. They’ve pretty much moved past the whole “replacement”, “zombie-dickhead” part of their relationship and have graduated to occasionally providing backup on ops that overlap in each other’s sectors, ganging up on Dick when they’re all in the same room, and maintaining a surprisingly steady stream of vigilante gossip to keep each other in the loop. 

So, ok, yes, due to the aforementioned, he’s pretty sure they’re friends. And also because Jason wouldn’t have stuck his neck out for him otherwise. He would have just let him get mugged.

Watching Jason fight is one of Tim’s favorite pastimes. But right now, Tim’s usual appreciation is soured by the gut-roiling embarrassment of being caught in this position by Jason of all people. His eyes itch. His cheek throbs. He’s so fucking tired.

“Hey, little stalker,” Jason says suddenly, holding out an expectant hand in Tim’s face. The muggers are groaning on the ground around them. Tim isn’t sure when that happened. He might have zoned out. “Did you know that you had a stalker for a change?”

Tim flushes. “I resent that. I haven’t stalked anyone in years.” He takes the hand. It’s warm, and calloused, and big around his.

Jason laughs at him and yanks him to his feet. “Liar.”

Tim’s mouth twists into a scowl. He tries to glare at Jason, but he can feel himself swaying and Jason still hasn’t let go of him, and it’s ruining everything.

Also, lowkey, Jason is right. But in his defense, it is literally their job to stalk people, so.

“I haven’t stalked you in years then. Just other guys. Bad guys. Not non-bad guys. Fuck. You know what I mean. Whatever.” He pauses; recalibrates. “Had?” He asks.

Jason’s eyebrows inched higher and higher the longer Tim talked. Tim doesn’t blame him.

“Yeah. Had.” 

So much for the League, Tim muses.

Jason gives him a once over before tugging decisively on Tim’s wrist, easily grabbing the handle of his suitcase and starting to walk with both in tow, to Tim’s rising horror. 

“You’re coming with me, shortstack. What’s wrong with you? Are you drunk? You look like shit.”

Tim tries to yank his wrist out of Jason’s grip, but the asshole doesn’t budge. “I’m not drunk,” Tim snaps. “I’m fine. I’m just. I’m just… really tired.”

Jason stops abruptly, and Tim stumbles into his shoulder.

“I can see that,” he says, steadying Tim with an amused but ultimately sympathetic look. He loads Tim’s suitcase onto the back of a motorcycle that Tim literally just now noticed. 

God, he’s fucked. And not even in a fun way. 

“C’mon,” Jason says. “Don’t fall asleep on the way over— road rash sucks ass.”

—

They don’t talk on the way to— wherever Jason is taking them, but once they’re parked in a random garage and walking towards the elevators, the game of twenty questions begins.

“So why’ve you got League assassins after you, anyway? Piss in a lazarus pit? Push over the baby brat on the playground?”

“Ra’s al Ghul wants my body,” Tim says, dejected but resigned to this bizarre fact of his life. “Since I was seventeen, I’m pretty sure.”

Jason wrinkles his nose. “Ew.”

“I don’t think it’s a sex thing? But it could also be a sex thing.”

“Again. Fucking ew.”

“Yeah. Also I blew up a bunch of his shit and I think he’s still salty I got away with it.”

“Is that why you weren’t at the Manor?” Jason asks, herding Tim out of the elevator and down a long hallway. “Or anywhere but a random street in Crime Alley?”

Tim nods. “Yeah. They found all my safehouses, but— my mess. My problem.”

Jason thwacks him upside the head.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“You’re the dumbest person on the planet.”

“Am not. B is on-planet right now.”

“Then you’re pretty fucking close,” Jason snarks, fishing out some keys and opening one of the apartment doors.

Tim scoffs at him as he’s pushed inside. “Oh, please. Don’t try to tell me you would let Dick swoop in and solve all your problems for you.”

Jason rolls his eyes, stepping into the side kitchen and popping open the freezer door of the fridge.

“Dickiebird can’t even solve his own problems,” he says as he rummages. “But maybe when I’m fucked up enough to let three nobodies robbing a fucking bodega get the jump on me, that’s a sign that, maybe, it might be time to call in the cavalry. Dick isn’t the only person who’s got your back.” He presses an ice pack to Tim’s face until he takes it himself, and keeps steering him through the apartment. “Just saying.”

Tim would protest with all of his very good reasons why Jason is definitely wrong here, but he’s too busy processing the fact that Jason has led him into a bedroom. With a bed. There’s a bed, with a mattress and pillows and blankets. Right there. Tim stares at it with lustful eyes.

Jason catches him staring. He rolls his eyes, but he’s sporting a small smile that Tim has the presence of mind to memorize. He walks over to a dresser and pulls out a big shirt and a pair of shorts that he hands to Tim.

“Look. If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here. No guarantees I’ll be always around, but, yeah. Mi casa es su casa, or whatever.”

Tim eyes him up, clutching the bundle of Jason-smelling fabric in his hands. “And you’d do that for me because…why, exactly?”

Jason flicks his forehead, a stinging reprimand. Tim hisses.

“Because, dumbass, you need help and I feel like it. And you don’t actually suck to be around, so shut up and be grateful.”

“Oh, yes,” Tim deadpans, rubbing at his forehead. “So grateful to be allowed the privilege of squatting with you.”

The thing of it is, Tim is grateful. But Jason doesn’t need to know that.

Jason squawks, and before Tim can duck, he’s snatched Tim around the neck in a headlock. His arm is thick and doesn’t budge no matter how Tim shoves and kicks. The ice pack and the clothes go flying, and Tim just about dies. Jason is warm.

“Jason—!”

“Brat!” Jason crows, not giving an inch. “I paid for this place fair and square— you’re the only squatter here!”

“Blood money doesn’t count as square!”

“Tell that to half of Gotham, kid.”

“I’m trying to, thanks for noticing,” Tim says, finally wrenching himself free of Jason’s grip, stumbling into the bed and giving into its siren song. He sits down heavily on the edge, toppling over sideways and reaching pathetically for the fallen ice pack that’s just out of his reach.

“And don’t call me kid—” he complains, muffled by the pillow. It also smells like Jason. “You’re barely two years older than me.”

The cold ice pack is pressed into his fingers. He cracks an eye open to look, but Jason is just smirking at him, like he’s giving Tim the win. Ass.

“Coulda fooled me, shortstack.”

Tim rolls his eyes, and onto his back, toeing off his shoes and letting them clatter to the floor. He can’t tell if Jason’s bed is the best bed in the world, or if he’s just deliriously inventing things.

Frankly, Jason Todd’s bed is the last place he ever thought he’d end up, this morning or otherwise, so he’s never bothered to speculate. He does not have a contingency plan for this.

“Is there a reason you keep calling me short,” he complains, “Or will I just need to fill in the blanks myself?”

“Can’t help it. You’re just so small,” Jason coos. Tim props himself up on an elbow at that, raising a disgusted eyebrow.

“You don’t hear me constantly talking about how big you are.” 

Jason grins like he just won the lottery; Tim shuts his eyes the second it’s out of his mouth.

“Baby, you don’t know how big I am.”

He does, actually. Not in a creepy stalker way, just— there was this one time. A big rogue breakout at Arkham, all-hands on deck type of situation; Tim, Cass, and Jason were covering Poison Ivy in the park. Acid-spitting pitcher plants were involved.

And look, Jason’s tactical gear is fine in the day to day, but it’s not like any of them had time to prep a neutralizing agent, so when Jason needed his pants off, stat…uh. Well. Tim was right there.

He knows, okay?

“Alright,” he rallies, trying desperately not to replay the memory of Jason adjusting himself through his boxers. All of himself. “I walked right into that one.”

“Oh, trust me. You’ll know if you’ve walked into it.”

Tim scoffs, but he can feel how red his face is.

And the thing is. He says it without really meaning to. 

But he still means it.

“You gonna put your money where your mouth is, big guy?”

The change is immediate. Jason had been halfway out the door, but now he turns to Tim, giving him his full, undivided attention. He looks at Tim, laid out in Jason's bed, giving him a very slow once over. The scrutiny is at once nerve-wracking and thrilling.

“Thought you didn’t want my money,” Jason murmurs.

The temperature in the room spikes. If it weren’t for the slow throb of his bruised cheek, Tim would think that he’s already asleep and dreaming.

But he isn’t. He’s very much aware that he’s wide awake.

Tim swallows. “Well. It’s not your money I want.”

Jason’s grin is electric. 

He stalks over to the bed, and Tim is frozen like a rabbit, waiting to see what he’ll do next. Jason settles a knee on the sheets between Tim’s legs, looming over Tim and boxing him in against the mattress. Tim’s free hand reaches up of its own accord to tangle in the collar of Jason’s hoodie, and the cotton is softer than he expected.

Jason’s eyes rove over his face, dark and heavy. He catches Tim’s face in his hand, swiping his thumb lightly across the bruising hot ache of his cheekbone. He leans in deliberate and slow and—

—and stops about an inch away from Tim’s mouth.

“Get some sleep, babybird,” Jason teases, his breath puffing gently over the skin of Tim’s lips. “You can proposition me again tomorrow.”

“It’s, like, 3:30 in the afternoon,” Tim argues, breathless.

“Yeah, and your body thinks it’s 3:30 in the morning. You’re dead on your feet. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, and go the fuck to sleep.”

Jason moves to rise. But Tim hooks a stubborn arm around his neck and pulls him down that last remaining inch. 

The kiss is— bad. At first. 

Tim basically smashed their mouths together to prove a point, and Jason muffles a surprised sound against Tim’s teeth. He lands heavily on top of Tim at an awkward angle, and he’s kind of crushing him. Tim refuses to let go, but— Jason doesn’t pull away.

Jason gentles the kiss instead, and Tim thrills. He levers himself up onto his elbow, wrapping an anchoring arm around Tim’s back. He finds a home between Tim’s legs, and he lets Tim kiss him until Tim's lips are tingling and his fingers go slack; until he can’t keep his eyes open anymore.

Somewhere between fifteen minutes and a small eternity later, Jason presses one more kiss to the corner of his mouth. He curls around Tim on his side, and Tim turns his face into Jason’s neck with a soft wondering sigh.

“I’ll keep it. Promise. Wait n’ see,” Tim mumbles. Jason snorts, but doesn’t budge, and Tim can hear his smile in his voice, lilted and lulling.

“Sure, babybird. I’ll wait. I got nowhere else to be.”

Tim is already asleep.

#one hundred thousand years have passed #i creak up out of the soil gasping and hacking and coughing #'i lived bitch' #'have some jaytim that grew legs on me' #my writing #asked and answered #jaytim #ladytauria #hurt/comfort #this one is sillier and more light-hearted than the other ones #the hurt is more like 'near tears travel exhaustion' than your typical aftermath of violence lol but it so definitely counts #i held a gun to the head of the muse that said 'this is way too short' and pulled the fucking trigger #i KNOW it's a very fast get together but i did Not want this to become my next 5 digit wordcount fic okay. okay. oka #the bones of a long 'tim and jason vs the league of assassins' fic is hiding here #and if i actually wrote that this would have ended much differently #but i am Not Writing That okay I am Writing Cowboys and also Werewolves Right Now. I Do Not Have Time For This!!!!!! #prompt fill

[morethansky]

***TBB SPOILERS**

Realized I never wrote up my thoughts on "Into the Breach," which was the first episode I've liked since "Extraction"!!! Probably because all I could think about was Echo for 72 hours afterward.

This episode gave me such Rebels vibes, and that's truly the highest compliment I could pay any Star Wars media. I present my case:

There's an objective laid out from the start that is a small but crucial piece of the larger plot. The beginning of the episode presents this problem, and by the end of the episode, that specific problem solved.

Everyone is competent, and every character gets to do something vital to the mission. Whether it's a small thing doesn't matter; it's the fact that if that character wasn't there to do that small thing, the mission might be screwed that matters.

The action is meaningful—it conveys something about the characters while also driving the plot forward—and there's suspense that ratchets up the tension. And then to diffuse it, there's humor, and each joke is funny, but it's not overdone.

Infiltration episodes are such a Star Wars staple, and it's a real shame that TBB hasn't had more of them. They tried to make up for it by putting THREE infiltrations into this episode lmao. The fact that they show one long-term infiltration, one short-term infiltration, and one super short-term infiltration is very clever and makes the writing feel cohesive and dynamic, something this show hasn't always been able to achieve.

Also important, they do both a space/flight mission and a ground mission (two of each, technically), which is something that always helps make an episode feel like it's set in the GFFA and not just, you know *cough* Space!Louisiana. Or Tatooine scene #700.

There's also some nice storytelling going on with the environment—they go from being outside on the cloud city (free) to inside a space station (trapped with enemies), and for Omega, inside a cell (in which she actually enters another cell, visually—her bunk). The wide outdoor shots make the close, indoor shots feel much more claustrophobic, which is exactly the atmosphere these particular indoor settings should be giving off.

Other thoughts and meta:

Daytime Tantiss is a good sign! Forecast: Not death?

Prison Break Omega is just such a good vibe, and this would just be so fucking cool...except we've literally already seen her escape once this season??? And it was already really well done??? This is like the flip side of my complaint that Omega was too helpless in the first season, and it was annoying how she constantly needed to be rescued. Now she's too competent and is always escaping lol. It just really, really cheapens the dramatic effect either escape could've had.

Needless to say, the Batch's driving purpose once again being that they're struggling to rescue Omega is just. I'm tired. If there are going to be two major captures and two major escapes this season, at least one of them needs to be a narrative flip!!! The Batch rescuing her at the front end of the season and Omega escaping herself at the end, or vice versa, would've made it much less repetitive (and stopped cutting the Batch off at the knees in order to show Omega's competency). Omega even gets captured in the same fucking way—she gives herself up in "Plan 99" and "Point of No Return"! Ughhhhh

Okay I swear I actually like this episode lmao, I just. Editor instincts.

Thinking about how Omega left Lula on Pabu and has essentially left Straw!Lula to Eva, and how it shows that she's shed her need for comfort and is now ready to provide that comfort to other children, which is very lovely. But I'm also worried about Lula and Tech's goggles being on Pabu, because there are only three thematic options here: Everyone returns to them (sanctuary), everyone leaves them behind (leaving the past behind), or Omega returns to leave more items, say a bandana or a Firepuncher (memorial). The link between Lula and the goggles is actually not that natural (unless you're a Techwrecker shipper like me :D), so I've been pondering this choice a lot.

The symbolism of everything inside Tantiss being in the shape of the Empire cog and every character within its walls being a cog of the Empire is so heavy handed...and I am here for every moment of it!!!

Truly did not expect Rampart to stick around for so long. He's going to be a main character in the finale at this point?? I like how he's like a Kallus foil here—despite being scapegoated by the literal emperor he's still loyal to the regime and takes such pride in it. A very Jennifer Corbett & Brad Rau–esque character.

The way that when Echo came down the ramp I literally said, "Oh, thank god."

Hunter and Echo doing the clone hand clasp (and not wrist clasp, you'll note) isn't as emotional given that we already know how strong their bond is at this point, but it's still nice to see this visual callback to the Batch respecting Cody so much despite him being a reg that Hunter would use this hand clasp to greet him. It's a great shorthand (ha) for Hunter's feelings, since he is particularly suspicious of outsiders, and Echo is now fully "one of his."

I really love the mirror of the scene when the Batch is in the cell on Kamino and they escape by breaking into the wall—Omega effectively does the same thing here. These are the satisfying kinds of repetition, rather than entire arcs!

Every time I think about the Tech-is-the-mustachioed-doctor theory I giggle. It would just be. So anticlimactic?? But absolutely hilarious.

The costume change is so unnecessary, buuut I'll be first in line to buy the variant figures! Also it's nice to see some canon clone armor painting after writing and reading so many fics about it!!

I really like Hunter sensing Rampart plotting and how it brings his powers even closer to Jedi precognition.

Not too much Crosshunt in this ep, but I like how in both shuttle scenes, Crosshair stands in a position that blocks Rampart from getting to Hunter in the cockpit (while Wrecker blocks Rampart from getting to the exit).

Not particularly significant, but I like the visual detail of Hunter, Echo, and Crosshair bracketing Rampart in a triangle and it looking like they're his bodyguards but them actually forming that position because he's their prisoner.

The way I screamed when Rampart tries to get Echo to say "sir" and he just says, "I don't think so." Echo did not go through everything he's gone through up to this point to take anyone's shit!!! And the way Rampart just takes it and looks down all ashamed is peak comedy to me. Even he sensed that he was treading on dangerous ground there. (Just for a second think about Fives on Umbara and how he refused to take Krell's shit from the very start...)

The commandos being on this space station (that's orbiting Coruscant??) makes me very sad because it kind of foreshadows a dark ending for the Tantiss arc by showing that the commandos are spread all over the galaxy. So even if they rescue all the commandos from Tantiss, it still wouldn't save all the others. In which case, writing wise, it feels way more unlikely for them to save the commandos on Tantiss at all.

Wrecker tapping his foot while scrolling through the comments on his AO3 account is very cute. Also in the last episode the mining foreman was on his datapad like a phone and I thought it was supposed to convey that he was lazy lol but maybe this sort of thing is just going to show up in SW a lot more now haha

The lieutenant demanding to know where the captain is is kind of silly because wasn't he the one to let him go inside?? Why would he be back at his ship? But I love me the Rebels-esque gag of knocking him out on the ship.

Everyone is screaming about Crosshair having faith in Echo getting them through, but I would also like to contribute the fact that Crosshair says, "You can't go alone." A very poetic line of dialogue because being alone in the Techno Union is what the Batch saved Echo from being, and it's what Crosshair chose to be for two and a half seasons of this show. Not wanting to be alone again was also what made him turn against the Empire! We also see this anxiety in the previous episode, where he (in that very ridiculous reveal) admits he doesn't want to go back to Tantiss (and be alone again).

ECHOOOOOO!!!! About fucking time they gave him another action feature!!! I rewatch that opening sequence in "Tipping Point" constantly. And not only that, it's a very character-driven action feature for once!!! We see him showcase what it means to be an ARC trooper and also what it means that he's "part-droid." A test I like to consider when I gauge the quality of action-ensemble media is, Could any other character have done that? In this case, the text is very loudly telling us absolutely not! Also the way he exudes confidence about it ("But I can") is also just. Super hot, 10/10

Tbh the Echo feature felt so out of place for this show that at this point I was suddenly filled with terror that he was about to die. Thank god he did not, but he's still separated from the others by the end, so it's not out of the question for something terrible to happen in hyperspace, and I do not want it!!! But altogether that was a badass third act and a very good episode!

#the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch #star wars #amph talks

[atiglain]

tumblr in the TI universe

🏛  togasupreme Follow

please stop judging masons based on suit cut, especially if you’re not a mason. Some of us can’t afford to change out our suits every year, some of us like to express ourselves, and also it's genuinely rude!

🧶🔁 humanistacrochet  Follow

yeah i agree with this. if im going to judge a mason it'll be for shitty political opinions lol

🏺🔁 catullusmasonicus  Follow

op looks like this btw

🧶🔁 humanistacrochet  

1,236 notes

🌿  cousininthesheets Follow

okay how do you pronounce VADL (Vivien Ancelet Don’t Look) -> 

Vee-Ae-Dee-Elle (wrong)     ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 1%

Vaddle (correct) 🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 2.3%

other? (tags)          🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️ 96.7%

12,301 notes

🧗‍♂️   greythelaws Follow

okay the problem with cookie is that theyre like a terrible person, but also really funny. like so so so so so funny i cant look away. i think they should probably get their head blown off (simulated, not real, VADL) but also i kind of want them to stay in politics forever

💜🔁  masonidloveto  Follow

hey op

25,909 notes

💫cleopatrautopian  Follow

i wish people had better slurs for us tbh “astroturd” is so lame are you in middle school? lol. moonman is okay but lacks punch. 

👩‍💻🔁upunk  Follow

Ive heard “mooncel” before but i have no idea where the suffix originated from. 

💫🔁 cleopatrautopian 

I like mooncel... maybe moonfucker would work as well? we should workshop this. 

🌏🔁 postsfromuranus Follow

186 notes

🪓  hobbesian   Follow

people love to say apollo mojave was so cool and awesome but we hooked up at campus and the dick was mediocre tbh..

🌟🔁 protectthegreat  Follow

me when i spread misinformation on the internet

🪓🔁hobbesian  

????? lmao I’m sorry did you take their dick?? you want to submit a competing complaint? write a counterclaim on Snopes.com? want to sit in their room on alexandria campus (not air conditioned) listen to them drone on (spit flying from mouth on several occasions) (beer breath) and take some dick that is, at best, a 6/10? be my fucking guest. 

🏺🔁catullusmasonicus  Follow

this is like poetry to me

1,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

I'm against OS on ideological grounds but i kind of wish they would take you out tbh...

🌕  lalunadeutopia Follow

this website’s hate mail game is insane.

7,987 notes

Anonymous asked:

its so funny that you’re getting hate for that apollo mojave post when all that you spread was the truth

🪓  hobbesian Follow

nah it wasnt even i lied i didnt fuck them💀 

#misinformation indeed

4,789 notes

#terra ignota #too like the lightning #lmao #Heavily inspired by that otehr post of this nature about dogs. I used their formatting thank you op

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Anime Review, Season 1, Episode 11 review

Red dragon part 1!!!!!!

Absolutely fantastic episode. No real complaints. Spoilers below! NO REALLY THERE ARE SPOILERS.

Sometimes the camera is too close to the characters and I really don't like it, examples are when Marcille and Laios are talking before Laios goes to try his final attack against the dragon, and when Senshi is helping Chilchuck pick up the sword and throw it to Laios.

The camera is zoomed in so close to Senshi that it's genuinely hard to understand what's happening, especially with all the sakuga speedlines. I'm sure that bit of animation was gorgeous but I couldn't see enough of it to understand what movement Senshi was making!

Didn't like how multiple times they zoomed in on character's eyes while they were talking so you couldn't see their mouths for the entire shot - normally you'd start with a shot that shows the mouth moving and then cut to the closeup without the mouth to save budget, but just going straight to the eyes closeup... Made it hard to tell if they were speaking out loud or thinking. This is just sloppy storyboarding IMO and not the end of the world, but it was noticeable and bugged me. Maybe it was like that in the manga? But then there are dialog bubbles vs thought bubbles so it's clear if it's a thought or spoken out loud. Anime doesn't have that.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way the magic words written on surfaces are being animated like they're a gunpowder trail/wick for a traditional explosive. WONDERFUL detail, so inventive and fun! I don't think that was in the manga but it fits in SO WELL with the vibes of dungeon meshi. Fantastic addition.

Loved Marcille's little bouncing spell.

The jokes in this episode all landed so fucking well. Just incredibly funny and good, pacing was immaculate.

Marcille healing Chilchuck and Senshi rofl.

Funny that they put Marcille on TOP of the building she exploded, I think it was more ambiguous in the manga or she was off to the side. Putting her on top of it was certainly a choice, and funny lmao.

The pathos and the drama... god. Laios' final attack on the dragon. Losing his leg. It was all incredibly well done. The way the sound and color cut out, Laios hyping himself up to do something he knows will be excruciatingly painful.... top ten Laios moments for sure. This episode captures his character so wonderfully. That's my boy!!!!

(thinks about if they're going to handle Kabru's moment of falling into the dungeon with this amount of intensity..... ohgodplease.)

I love how gory they get with the dragon, the butchering sequence so far is fantastic, I hope anime onlies are like "haha... ha..... what the fuck this is kind of intense? and gross?" because they do not know what they're in for lmao.

While I DO LOVE the way they revealed Falin's skull (what an incredible pov shot!!!!!!!) I kind of miss the panel that was in the original manga... Where Laios pulls the skull out of the clump of hair in a way that looks like a baby's head coming out of the vagina during childbirth. That panel was REALLY intense in a quiet horror sort of way in the original, and I miss it.... BUT they replaced it with something equally cool so I can forgive it.

They had new dub actors for the Touden father in this episode, and some random villagers. Since those characters have VERY few lines, I'm wondering if these actors have been double-cast and if we'll see them again playing other roles later, since this has been the case for most of the other minor characters so far.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi #spoilers #theories #review

[usuibu]

hiii i was wondering if i could request without a prompt from the prompt list? if so, can i request eren with an s/o where s/o and eren have just recently married and adopted a kitten, then one day said kitten keeps getting clingy with y/n just to find the reason why is bcs there's a little bun in the oven surprise and then y/n surprises eren with a testpack (and the kitten gets involved with the surprise somehow). really sorryyy if this was weird but I rarely see dad eren stories nowadays LMAO

Tysm for requesting!! Ofc u can put anything even just thoughts in my submissions, the prompt lists are just there if u need help thinking!

More oneshots/masterlist

————————————————————

People always tend to say that marriage was a big step, a big change. So you don’t know if its just because Eren’s Eren, but nothing really seemed to change with you and him after getting married.

You’d both already settled into your home and wrestled over which room decor you liked more and so things were nice, nice enough that you both decided you wanted to get a cat. It gave you the opportunity to see how far erens responsibility could stretch (which wasn’t too far from what you’ve seen😭) but anyways you guys had your kitten.

It always gravitated towards you, unfortunate for eren who refused to admit how much he truly liked the kitten. You would constantly catch him playing with the kitten way too rough for its size and you’d scold eren for not taking care of it properly etc how hes ‘a terrible father’ to the kitten 😭

Eren whistled rhythmically in a failing attempt to steal the kittens attention as it was once again, all over you. Disturbing whatever you were up to while eren tried to pick it up and place it nearer to him.. only for it to go crawling back to. He frowned like a pissed little kid and was about to verbalise his complaints until he got interrupted by you’re own complaints. Not about the kitten though.

“My head hurts so bad” you groan, hands flying to your temples, “do you feel sick?” eren replies, attention slowly leaving the kitten nestling in your lap.

“Yeah kind of, I think the breakfast you made me was that bad I’m gonna throw it up”

“Fuck you” Eren says, annoyed that he was ever concerned about your wellbeing (hes just kidding guys hes a silly billy this is a hee hee ha ha funny happy family i swear)

You snicker at Erens eye roll, “But really though I don’t know why I feel so nauseous”,

“Well maybe your allergic to the kitten?” Eren suggests in such a genuine tone that it was humorous.

“Eren,” you sigh, “you make it so hard not to bully you, you cant get mad at me” you’re disappointing sigh turns into another playful giggle as Eren starts frowning while you explain to him how cat allergies are more sneezing rather than nausea, and how you’ve had the kitten for long enough that you would most definitely not be allergic😭

“Yeah yeah fuck off the kitten doesn’t even like you” he says deflecting how he was wrong as it continues to roll around on your lap. “Take some medicine or whatever”, as always he still cares.

You open your cabinet in the toilet reaching for the painkillers, your hand stops as you notice the purple box next to it. You only had it really ‘just in case’ but in all fairness.. you were late. Your brain forced your hand to take the pregnancy test box because it would be harmless and would ease your worry and speculations.

Eren wasn’t home right now so it was safe enough for you to anxiously wait on your bed, staring at the test in the packet. Your glare getting interrupted as your alarm goes off alerting you that you can now check. It was positive, your second test was aswell, then the third one you rushed to buy at the store was also positive😭

This wasn't bad news at all, simply new.

You'd constantly joke about erens immaturity and lack of responsibility although you'd known him well enough to see that in the right moments, he truly is a highly capable man who would do great as a father, it grew on you as the minutes passed, the thought of starting a family with him didn't seem so bad even though you and eren weren't exactly aiming to get pregnant in the moment you did😭

You searched in your head for a way to break the news to him and you figured it would be fun to include the other member of the family, your kitten🤷‍♀️

"Im home" you hear ur husband shout as the front door shuts. "Hi Eren!!" you shout back, purposely in another room,

"can u feed the kitten really quick? I forgot to a while ago its probably hungry by now!"

"Wow and you call me a bad father" eren mutters, "I heard you." You reply blankly as he grins amused.

The kitten walks eagerly overtaking eren walking towards its little food station set aside by the kitchen counter. He notices one of the has evidently less full than the others so he decides to take that one to finish up in the kittens bowl.

You watch behind him eagerly but quietly lingering sheepishly around the counter, he tips the bag upside down as only a plain box falls out of it. "..what" he mumbles in confusion, he opens it to see the test inside but doesn't immediately react, nor move.

"Are you pregnant?!" he exclaims..

Facing the kitten and still not looking back to you, "Fuck off eren" you say smiling, yeah he heard you behind him.

He finally turns to you as you walk towards him, he has a fat grin on his face as he opens his arms rushing toward you before you can and hugs you so tight your feet lift off the floor and you feel like you're suffocating, you'll let it slide this time.

He finally settles you down in front of the counter, loosening his grip as he moves his hands to cradle your head, frantically planting kisses on your forehead to your cheeks to you nose to your lips. He can't contain his dashing grin and neither can you

"Can I name it?" Eren says with a boyish grin you know you cant trust,

"absolutely not" you say monotonously.

He frowns again, still tangling you in his arms against the counter as he runs one of his thumbs across your cheek, the other cradling your lower back keeping you close to him. "Why not?”

“Why not??? Because you tried to name our kitten Eren junior!"

"Eren juniors a great name, idk what you have against it!!"

"I hate you."

"Yeah yeah you love me, and i'll love our kid too."

"Yeah?" you say quietly, brushing a strand of loose hair behind his ear. Your hand glides downwards his shoulder as you simply admire your husband, your husband.

He stares into you deeply, slowly leaning in once again to kiss you. His hand moves from your face to the back of your head, encouraging you closer, deepening the kiss. Meanwhile your hands run through his hair. He gently pushes you forward into the counter as you both melt against each other, savouring the sensation of tooth-rotting love and adoration buzzing at your fingertips.

My requests r open for anything u can ask me any specific oneshots for eren or any character aswell!! Tysm for reading 🫶🫶

#attack on titan #eren jaeger #eren aot #eren x reader #headcanons #eren headcanons #eren x you #bf!eren #boyfriend!eren #eren x y/n #husband!eren #dad!eren #this is actually my first proper oneshot im terrified #i actually hate this please love me still #constructive criticism is encouraged #send help i cant do this #im really sorry anon i actually dont like pregnant!reader or dad!eren but I SWEAR i fr tried to pull through for you i still love you more #-more than anyone for requesting tumblr cut me off on that im offended

[cuntylittlesalmon]

I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.

i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶

this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been

DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care

APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail

AHB - ashley herring blake

SO!

these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.

which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.

and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol

and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.

which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?

this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:

the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.

the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.

the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).

the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.

and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀

anyway. the radfem-y stuff.

the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.

but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).

delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).

so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.

(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)

and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.

but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).

ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓

#asks #yayyyy being critical about books #TY FOR THIS BTW #i know most of my posts complaining about books lean a lot more into the comedic #but i do genuinely think the bright falls books are like. insidiously bio/gender essentialist #and i hope that people can work to recognize this kind of stuff (i know its a lot more obvious in m/f romance because of the overwhelming #obsession with the size difference between the f lead and the m lead) when its more quiet like this #because its fucking gross to be reading a (supposedly) cute romance only to get smacked over the head with covert conservatism #when the books are marketed & frankly pandered to people who are not conservative! #delilah green doesn't care #astrid parker doesn't fail #ashley herring blake #ashley herring blake critical #i realize that i spent a lot of time talking about astrids book more than delilahs book but. ah well. i read it more recently #and its more obvious that dgdc was 🤷‍♂️