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#this is like that post that said that all lesbians turn around when you say lesbian like you’re calling their name
joeeatsdvds · 18 days
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i can’t believe that they name drop lesbians in the new doctor who episode
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tiredyke · 2 years
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honestly what do people not get about “this label is harmful”. that is the focal point of the argument. the full extent of it. it’s not a personal thing. im not saying it to be mean or make you feel like you’re not being queer “correctly”. im saying that, personal attachment to the label and what it means to you aside, the origin of the label is transphobic, enbyphobic, biphobic, and lesbophobic and in all the context i’ve seen it used in it still has these connotations, no matter which way you try to twist it. i am not criticizing any of you specifically, and i’m not trying to say you don’t know yourself well enough to decide on a label you feel describes you. your attraction, your sexuality is not what is being debated here. the label itself is under scrutiny for the fact that it has harmful implications as those listed above. this is the source of the problem, and i think that once you take into account the way that it can and has negatively affected others, you should be able to see why so many of us prefer that you use a different term, one that you can also feel comfortable in and that doesn’t feel “constricting”.
but although i don’t like to assume that this argument is received in bad faith, despite the effects it has on us, the way we feel about our own label being misused, and these valid reasons to change or stop using the label, every single counter-argument i’ve seen is just a defensive “i don’t have to justify myself to anyone” or “stop attacking us, we’re not the enemy” or “you’re invalidating my queerness” when we’re not “attacking” you, we’re not asking you to justify yourself, and we’re not saying there’s any wrong way to be queer. i know that being queer comes in many different forms. i know what it’s like to experience attraction in “weird” ways as someone who uses the SAM myself (im aspec). we do want you to be happy and freely queer. it’s not like we wish you ill will, especially on the basis that you like women. we’re simply saying that this particular label has damaging implications, and that — i cannot emphasize this point enough — there are other labels you can use instead. but instead of listening to us and considering how your words and your choices affect us, so many you continue to plug your ears and run on about how mean us dykes are and how we’re trying to “police” you when that’s really not the intention.
it’s not exclusionary, it’s just basic respect to let certain marginalized communities keep their language and labels with their meaning intact. saying “lesbians don’t like men” is not a personal attack on you, it’s not saying you’re any less queer if you DO like men. but this is the only word we have for ourselves and using it in tandem with “bisexual” deprives us of that, and it lets the idea “lesbians like men” take root. no, you’re not the primary perpetrators of lesbophobia, but you’re certainly not helping by saying things like this.
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yamujiburo · 1 year
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HANAMUSA (JESSIExDELIA) MASTER POST
I probably should have started doing this forever ago but I wasn’t sure how long I was gonna stick with drawing these comics. But I guess we’re in it now! This will be continually updated~ EVERYTHING UNDER THE CUT
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BEFORE YOU START:
This post is required reading about Team Rocket’s ages since that’s usually a question that comes up a lot LOL. As for Delia’s age, she is said to be 29 in Takeshi Shudo’s (original writer on Pokémon) novel that built out the world and characters of the anime.
Next, I feel like this chart helps give the vibe of what these characters relationship is (all just headcanons except for their names and ages)!
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WHERE TO START:
Here’s a post I made detailing how Jessie, James and Meowth initially start living with Delia. It also goes into what each character does in this AU. Before going into the post, you might enjoy this fanfic my girlfriend commissioned! It’s based off of said post and is a more enjoyable read.
Here’s also a list of headcanons!
COMICS:
Here’s all the comics I’ve done! The order of most of them are pretty ambiguous and up in the air but I put them in the order I kinda see in my head! There are some that do take place before Jessie and Delia start dating though! Also a few comics that have several parts but the “next” and “prev” links will be in each comic. So I’ll only link the first part of those ones in this masterpost.
Pre-Relationship
Fast Food
Ophidiophobia
Whipped
Making Eyes
Hairbrush
Inquiries
Separated
First Kiss
During Relationship
Big Bed
Tattoo
Crumbs
Pet Clown
I’d Like To
Jessica
Lipstick (not a comic but some fun extra dialogue for this)
Glow
Official
Stare Down
Shovel Talk
Invisible Walls
Date Night
Face Blind
One Motto Away
Babygirl
Snowgasboard
Delia’s Got a Cold
Mr. Jessie Ketchum
Peek-At-Chu
Hands Off Pikachu!
Wine Nights with James
Beauty and the Beach
Turning Point Arc
Sunscreen
Where Do Babies Come From
Head Scritches
Love Life
Ugly
Ace Trainers
Pikasitting
Mother’s Day
Father’s Day
Gift for Delia
Gift for Jessie
Jessilina Fan
Crossdressing
Type
Hickeys
Journey Arc
Tone
Cooking Twerp
Son
Cooking Advice
Serperior Facts
Cassidy’s Cabin Arc
Father/Son Bonding
Uniform
Hand-Me-Downs
Glasses
Study Help
Happy Valentine’s Day
Wrapped
Daddy Daughter Double Battle
Splinter
Married Life
Wedding
Arbok/Weezing Reunion
Snake Eyes
MISC DRAWINGS:
I’ll update this with links to my other miscellaneous drawings later! 
FAQ:
What does "Hanamusa" mean?
Hanamusa is a combination of Delia and Jessie's Japanese names, Hanako and Musashi respectively.
When does this AU take place?
It takes place sometime after the Mezase Pokémon Master/To Be a Pokémon Master series. So all the events that happened in the series, unless retconned within the series, happened. Ash is 10 at the start of the comics.
What's the status between Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni/Team Rocket?
Not great terms since they were fired, but also not the worst terms. Giovanni just let the three of them go without any further issues. I will say that I've always loved the theory that Giovanni keeps Jessie specifically around because of her parentage and he as a soft spot for her that he keeps a secret. I feel like Matori was the one that got the three of them fired and Giovanni wasn't able to make an excuse for them this time (without showing nepotism/special treatment) so he was forced to let them go.
If you headcanon Delia as a lesbian, how did Ash come to be?
Delia was young when she had Ash and I hc that she just didn’t really explore her sexuality much! I myself didn’t realized I liked women until I was 18 and didn’t know I liked ONLY women until like 2 years ago. She got married, had a baby and realized after her husband left that she liked women (trans people exist obviously but I’m also interpreting Ash’s father as a cis man).
Who do you think Ash’s dad is?
I don’t know and I don’t really care to explore it. I’m going off of the novel interpretation that he’s just a deadbeat that left to be a trainer, failed and never came back because of the shame. He’s not important.
Isn’t Giovanni Ash’s dad?
That’s a common misconception that people remember wrong from the Pokémon Live show. Delia mentions she dated Giovanni but then left him and his gang after meeting Ash’s father. I also don’t consider the live show canon personally! I follow The Birth of Mewtwo timeline where Madame Boss founded Team Rocket.
Do you think Delia and Giovanni dated at least?
Nah, I think he’s too old for her? I always got the vibe from The Birth of Mewtwo that he was quite a bit older than Jessie and it’d be sus if he was dating Delia when she was married to, and had a child with her husband at 18/19. He’s a bad guy but not a BAD guy.
You mentioned you still ship Jessie and James. Why not make a Jessie, James, Delia polycule?
I have a few reasons I’ve mentioned before! 1. I’m in super deep with this AU already and I feel it’d be very confusing for casual viewers of my stuff if James was added into the relationship haha. 2. I’ve drawn Jessie and James together since 2011 and took this AU as an opportunity to try my hand at writing them as queer, platonic besties bc I love that interpretation of them a lot as well. 3. I’m not poly myself and the way I write this ship is largely based off of my experiences with my girlfriend. I just know I’d favor the Jessie/Delia of it all which isn’t fair and not a good interpretation of a poly relationship. All that said, I DO super enjoy seeing peoples’ poly headcanons and art!
Who does James end up with in this AU?
No one. He's aroace and is happy to be single
Do Jessie and James have all their Pokémon in this AU
I think they have all the Pokémon that they did by the end of Mezase Pokémon Master (all their Pokémon that were left at HQ). Most of their released Pokémon have stayed released and the Alola Pokémon are still in Alola. I bring back Arbok and Weezing post-Jessie and Delia getting married. I may bring back Chimecho, Growlie and Cacnea if I think of an idea I like!
What are Meowth and James up to in this AU?
Hop back to the top of this post under the "Where to Start" section. All your questions will be answered.
Does Ash travel with anyone at this point of his life?
I don't have anyone in particular in mind! I could see him making new friends (Nemona???) or traveling with different combinations of old friends. Like him, Misty and Goh, him, Dawn and Cilan, him, Serena and Lillie etc.
Will Delia ever get over her phobia of snake Pokémon
Not fully! I think overcoming fears is fine and good but I think real PHOBIAS are much harder to get past and I don't want to cheapen it. She slowly gets used to Jessie's Seviper specifically and gets to the point where she can pet it comfortably with Jessie in the room. But otherwise, still scared and would need that same amount of time per Pokémon
Is Jessie gaining weight or is it just me?
Not just you! Jessie puts on a bit of relationship weight overtime as you'll see in the later comics in the timeline. Jessie grew in poverty, never knowing when her next meal would be and that continued into her life as a Team Rocket member. Once she was able to settle down (with a woman who runs her own restaurant no less) she's able to live a healthier lifestyle with regular meals and puts on some weight because of that.
Does Jessie ever feel self conscious about gaining weight?
Nope! She feels happier and healthier and hotter. She's also unreasonably excited to clear out her old clothes and get a new wardrobe.
Would Jessie and Delia ever have kids together or adopt?
Nah, Ash is enough for them! I have come up with hypothetical kids for them but they're not canon to this AU. Just a fun little thing for me.
Will you ever put this on webtoon?
Nah. People mostly ask me this because they want to read everything in the order of the timeline but to my knowledge, you can’t reorder chapters or installments which would defeat the purpose. I also don’t think nintendo fan stuff would fly there. Also, also it’s just extra work and another place to upload and I want to keep this all fun for myself~
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eddiemunsonw · 2 months
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Snow Storm
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Steve Harrington x Fem!reader
Summary: You're on a 'date'. Sort of. You're really not feeling it, especially when you realize that the guy has been lying. Steve, witnessing it all during his shift at Family Video, is more than happy to meddle a little.
CW/Disclaimer: Hmmmm things start to get a little heated and sexy but nothing too dramatic. So... idk. Mention of porn?
Author's note: I have a tendency to post fics out of their season, it seems
Words: 3435
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Steve’s POV
He watched as your eyes followed the section of horror movies slowly, scanning each title to try and remember if you had seen them before. Next to you, a guy stood impatiently as he eyed the curtain that separated the adult section. Steve watched with interest, as it was all that was currently happening in the store apart from a regular who looked into the slapstick classics on the other side.
“Come on, I just wanna see.”
The guy sighed, nudged you with his arm. You were having none of it and Steve couldn’t help but wear an amused smile. Eventually, when you had picked out two movies, you followed him towards the curtain. Steve, feeling particularly menacing today, quickly left the counter and approached the curtain just in time.
“Hello there! ID’s please.”
He held his hand open and you took it out immediately, showing that you were 23, a year younger than he was. When the guy handed it over with some reluctance, his curiosity piqued.
“Oof, sorry dude, can’t let you in. It’s 21+”
“What? Since when?” the guy responded, but Steve clocked something much more interesting.
“Clark… You said you were 24. Jesus this is why I never wanna say my age first,” you groaned and rolled your eyes. Steve bit down on his lip to stop himself from smiling, but it was too hard not to.
“Damn, why’d you have to lie to the lady? That’s not cool,” Steve added on.
Your POV
“You weren’t supposed to know. Now come on,” Clark mumbled and attempted to pass the curtain but Steve quickly moved in between, the smooth glide of his body grabbing your attention.
“Still a no, Bud.”
You were already tired of his pushy behavior earlier, so while Steve had him occupied, you entered the adult section. You didn’t even want to go in there, but it was better than staying.
“Grab some deepthroating! And some lesbian porn?”
Steve’s POV
Steve shook his head at him as he leaned against the wall right next to the curtain.
“Jesus, dude. Are you trying to make her run away from you even harder?”
“Shut up,” Clark grumbled, side eyeing him with annoyance.
“Hm, no,” Steve said, a small smile on his face. “Not for a pipsqueak like you.”
“Oh fuck off, says the failed jock whose daddy no longer funds him so he has to do a shitty job like this one, the highlight of his day being to be a total asshole to a guy trying to have sex with a girl.”
Steve stared ahead of him, taking a deep inhale before replying.
“Yeah. Sure. That’s a neat description of you and me both. Emphasis on the trying.”
“The day’s not over yet.”
“Oh but it is, pipsqueak. Cause you’re gonna turn around and leave now.”
They looked at each other, eyes dark and challenging. Steve wasn’t sure what came over him. He just knew that he needed to do you the favor of getting rid of him.
“The hell I am,” Clark bristled.
Steve chuckled darkly. Woah, when did he become this super villain huh? Hmm. Interesting.
“Oh you are. She wants you gone and so do I.”
“You don’t know shit about what she wants.”
“Let me go ask,” Steve said as his hand lazily slid the curtain aside. “What’s her name again?” he asked, pretending like he hadn’t checked your name on your ID. He didn’t wait for his answer and walked behind the curtain despite his protests. This, however, made him miss out on the emergency alert on the radio.
“We interrupt your favorite tunes for an important message. The blizzard is getting worse. If you haven’t yet, go home. Chances are you won’t be able to if you wait much longer.”
Clark, however, did. Besides, he wasn’t that much of an idiot. He knew he had lost his chances with you the moment he tried to get you to grab his favorite porn videos. Whatever.
Your POV
“So… see anything you like?”
His voice startled you, but at the same time it was met with relief from your end that it wasn’t Clark. Steve slowly walked closer and quickly noticed you didn’t seem interested in any of it in the slightest and chuckled.
“Or are you just planning to stay here forever until he leaves?”
You shrugged.
“Something like that. Also, you don’t just ask a lady about her favorite porn, Harrington.”
Delighted by your response, he cocked his hip against the wall as he crossed his arms with a grin.
“I mean… we both already know Clark’s…” Steve said jokingly, earning a smile from you.
“All men are the same,” you sighed. Steve pouted and scanned the titles for something interesting.
“You say that now but… wait until you find out that my favorite is actually… Granny getting a— nope, nope, forget I started that sentence,” Steve said quickly as he put back the tape he just had in his hands.
“All the grannies over the world are crying right now,” you said sadly, a smile on your lips.
“Too bad, I’ve set my eye on girls who actually are the age they say they are.”
“I’ll admit that’s the most interesting belated opening line I’ve ever heard,” you said dryly.
“As long as it catches your intrigue, I’m satisfied,” Steve said with a playful, cocky grin.
You grabbed a tape and smirked, holding it out for him.
“So I’m guessing you don’t need yourself a… Satisfyer 2.0, then?” You asked, holding up the tape which had sensual “instructions” for a vibrator.
Steve laughed and shook his head.
“These satisfy just fine,” Steve said, holding up his hands. Your mind drifted off to what he could do with those big hands. Not just to himself but to—
“… left?”
Steve had apparently just asked you a question.
“Huh?”
He smirked and nodded towards the curtain.
“I think he left. Just heard the bell above the door.”
“Maybe someone came in though…” you wondered out loud.
“Maybe. I’ll go check.” He spun on his heel and approached the curtain when—
“Wait—” It was out before you knew it. Steve halted, turned back around and looked at you patiently.
“Yeah?”
“If he is in fact not gone, can you… get rid of him somehow? I normally wouldn’t ask but he’s just such a—”
“Dick.”
“Yeah…” You smiled a small smile and watched as he approached you again. His eyes were on you, taking in even the smallest changes in your expression.
“So is he like… your boyfriend?” Steve asked softly. “Or uh, was?”
You chuckled and shook your head.
“Nah, this was the second date which I had reluctantly agreed to.”
“Why’d you say yes?” Steve asked curiously. He followed your movement as you skimmed some more tapes and smiled at the playfully quipped corner of your mouth. “I mean, it didn’t look like you wanted to be here.”
“I didn’t. I just… I kind of never said yes but he just showed up on my doorstep and then I felt too bad to not go with him, so… yeah. Didn’t know he had plans to rent some porn and spend the second date in his bedroom or whatever.”
Steve crossed his arms and nodded thoughtfully.
“Hmmh… yeah that sucks. Well, I’ll make sure there won’t be a next time,” he said as he shortly winked at you and once again turned on his heel, this time actually continuing his walk through the curtain. He was out there for a few minutes when he turned back with a frown.
“Uh… Y/N? We’ve got a little… hiccup.”
You approached him with a frown of your own and followed him to the front, unsure what to expect. What you certainly didn’t expect, was to see a snow storm going on outside.
“Apparently there’s a code red. Just heard a repeat of it on the radio but it keeps breaking up. They urge everyone to stay inside until it’s over.”
Steve stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared ahead. It was the worst storm he had ever witnessed and the fact that nothing had seemed to be going on apart from some gentle snowfall surprised him.
“Stay… here?” you asked eventually.
“I mean, yeah? You can’t drive in this weather, it’s too dangerous. So is walking. So…”
“But I can’t just…”
“Hey, I don’t bite,” Steve said softly, nudging your arm with his own. “Besides, Clark seems to have left after all. Maybe he heard the warning and decided to bolt? If so, very nice to let us know as well but I will say that I wasn’t nice to him, so…”
You smirked.
“What did you say to him?”
“Nothing, nothing. I mean, genuinely, I didn’t say much. Just that he had to fuck off, using different wording. He didn’t seem all that ready to leave when I went to look for you though.”
“Oh well, good riddance.”
“Agreed.”
Steve walked forward and locked the door, putting the closed sign up front just in case.
“Let’s go to the back, it’s warmer there. And there’s a coffee machine.”
And so your “Stuck at Family Video with heartthrob Steve Harrington” began.
Once you were settled around the table in the break room, Steve gave you an odd glance. It was hard to figure out what he meant by it, although his frown disappeared the moment he got up from his chair.
“Coffee? Tea? I think we even got a few of those instant hot choc packages,” he offered, his back already turned to you as he searched the cabinets.
“Oh, hot chocolate sounds nice actually. Is it just me or is it… still kinda cold, even here?” you asked hesitantly. Steve nodded ruefully and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet he was currently facing.
“Ah, yeah… it looks like the heating is struggling again. I could kick it to see if it helps but… chances are it’ll get worse.”
“How could it get worse?”
Steve shrugged.
“Beats me, but I’m speaking from experience. Sometimes it does the trick and other times it really, really doesn’t.”
“Let’s not risk it then. At least we have a warm drink, right?”
Steve nodded and grabbed the kettle. You watched him busy himself with putting it on, emptying the hot chocolate powder and grabbing two spoons. He was humming along softly to whichever song he seemed to have stuck in his head and shot you a smile when he caught you looking.
“So what do you usually—”
Suddenly, the room turned pitch dark. You heard Steve swear softly when he shuffled back towards the table and bumped into a chair.
“Uh… okay. That’s… kind of a problem,” he mumbled as he managed to sit back down. “No hot choc I guess, sorry. No… heating either. Maybe we should check how the weather’s doing?” he opted.
“Yeah, sure.”
There was a small strip of light seeping in from the doorway, slowly turning brighter as you adjusted to your surroundings again. Warm fingers teased your arm before your wrist was grabbed and Steve helped you up. As he opened the door, the brightness of the snow outside was almost blinding. The thin windows made it a lot colder at the front, making you shiver as you watched the outside. It wasn’t just snow anymore, as heavy hail rained down, large enough to leave dents into cars. Steve groaned and let go of your wrist.
“Let me check if I can get the power back on,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you. He grabbed a flashlight from below the counter and went to the back again. After a few minutes, he returned, looking apologetic.
“Sorry, nothing. I guess it’s my fault you’re stuck here, huh?” he sighed. “If I hadn’t bothered Clark as much you’d be on your way already. Or if I just… I don’t know. Sorry, I guess.”
“It’s not your fault the weather decided to fuck us over, Steve,” you said with a soft smile which he returned with some hesitance. “What do you usually do for fun around here?”
Steve gave you a wry smile.
“Watch movies?”
“Ah, yeah.”
There was a short silence until Steve clapped in his hands and rubbed them together. “I’ve got this huge blanket in the back, brought it here once because Rob, Robin, my colleague, gets very cold easily so sometimes we’d just huddle under the blanket during breaks and stuff. I think we might as well sit out here, at least it’s light… for now.”
You nodded, smiling as you thought of Robin Buckley. You knew her of course. Not super well, but well enough to know she was nice.
“Yeah, it’s already getting dark, huh? A blanket sounds good though.”
Steve nodded and once again disappeared for a short moment, until he returned with a bright blue blanket, which he partially draped on the floor in front of the counter before he motioned for you to sit down and wrapped it around your shoulders. He joined you after grabbing you both some water and put the other end around his shoulders once he settled down.
“How’s this?”
You were really trying not to let it get to you that you were cozying up to Steve right now. Heat was radiating off of him and it made you wonder if he was actually cold, or if he was basically doing the whole “it’s better to stick together for body warmth” kind of thing. With the addition of clothes, of course.
“It’s nice. Better than without for sure,” you told him softly. Steve’s shoulder brushed yours and soon enough you felt the pressure build up until he was actually resting against you. Not in an uncomfortable way at all. It was really… nice, actually.
“Your parents? Do you think they’ll worry?”
“Ah, no. My mom’s visiting my grandma in another state actually and my dad’s no longer around, so. Doubt he can worry,” you joked lightly. “What about yours?”
Steve snorted, then realized it probably wasn’t all that funny and shrugged.
“Dunno, they’re somewhere in Europe now, I think? So no.”
Another silence. It was by that point that you remembered how little you actually knew about Steve Harrington. Sure, he had been popular in school for some time, and then he wasn’t, and then he graduated. But you had never really talked to him other than giving him a pen or two in English class. You were from different social ladders, really. Although, right now you felt quite equal to him, somehow. Which felt weird, considering he looked like a freshly cut out of a painting model and you were… you. Mr handsome decided to steal you away from your brain, which honestly, was a good thing.
“Hey, wanna play a game?” he asked, peering into your eyes as he leaned forward a little. You watched him with newfound curiosity.
“What kind of game?”
“I spy with my little eye.”
“Isn’t that just called “I spy”?” you wondered aloud.
“Dunno. So. Yes?”
“What else is there, right?”
Steve grinned and rested his head against the counter.
“That’s right. Okay. I spy with my little eye… something green.”
“That tape,” you said as you pointed. Steve leaned into your space, following your hand.
“Which one?”
“The green one.”
“There are maaaany green ones.”
“The green one with… Fuck I can’t read,” you sighed as you tried to squint. Steve laughed warmly, which you could feel the tremble of against your shoulder. “Okay so. The sci-fi shelf, yes? Fifth on the second row.”
“Aaaah, I see it now. Nope!”
“You knew that wasn’t it from the start.”
“I had to make sure.”
“Mhm, sure.”
Steve grinned and nudged you with his shoulder before tapping your thigh with his hand.
“Your turn, your turn!”
He left his hand on your thigh. Oh shit. Yeah, you were totally normal about that. You could still think. You could definitely still find some kind of object that you could use—
“Wait, I didn’t even guess it, how is it my turn?!” you questioned. Steve, who had been looking at… somewhere that wasn’t your eyes, quickly lifted his eyes to meet yours and grinned.
“Right. Guess!” “Your vest?”
“You are absolutely right. See? Your turn.”
“It wasn’t— okay. Hm… I spy with my little eye… something red.”
“Your cheeks.”
“Shut up, my cheeks aren’t red.”
“They are a little.”
“If you keep talking about it, yes, they will turn red.”
“Oh? Is that so?”
Once again Steve leaned forward to look you straight in the eye, this time lifting a hand to cup your cheek gently. “Hm, they’re a little pink at the very least.”
You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks and took his hand off your cheek as you looked away. Steve chuckled softly and turned his hand around so he could grab yours.
“Fine, then… the bike outside?”
“Nope.”
“Damn, I thought that was it for sure. That red blob of paint that Keith never managed to get off the ceiling?”
“That’s it!”
Steve grinned at you and gave your hand a squeeze. For a moment you had forgotten about his hand, too drunk on his animated face. Fuck.
“I spy with my little eye…” Steve turned his head to look at you and smiled. “Something pretty.”
“What?”
“Purple! Purple.”
“My shirt.”
“So clever.”
It was getting darker rapidly and soon enough, even your little game became harder to play. You did some other ones, word games, guessing games, whatever you could think of. The blanket was wrapped closer around you both now, as the store became colder without the heating. You sat hip to hip, your arms a little awkward sometimes although neither of you really minded.
“Would you have stayed here if I hadn’t been around?” you asked softly.
“Hmm, nah, I don’t think so.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t really care if— I mean, I’d only be risking myself in that case.”
“That’s a bad reason. You’re just as important.”
“Am I?” Steve asked, and for some reason you felt like he needed an honest answer.
“Yeah, you are, Steve.”
“Hm…” A beat of silence. “I spy with my little eye… someone pretty.”
“You can’t even see.”
“I’ve memorized her by now.”
“Is it the blonde babe cardboard cutout?”
Steve, not expecting that answer at all, burst out laughing.
“Fuck, no,” a giggle, “it wasn’t.”
“Oh… hm. What about that girl from the ring? Samara?”
“Shush.”
“Or the woman from that movie where—” “Ssshh.”
You felt his hand cup your cheek and it was as if your heart was gonna jump out of your chest at any moment now. His breath tickled your cheek, warm and comfortable against your cold nose. Your lips parted on their own, eyes closing even though there was only an outline of his face to see.
“You sure it’s not the blond babe?” you murmured teasingly.
Steve giggled softly and shook his head, causing the stray strands of his hair to tickle you a little.
“Positive.”
A faint sound of lips being licked, and then his lips brushed against yours. Soft and pliable, eager to taste yours. He hummed softly, pleased, as he pulled you closer. You were easily pulled into his lap as his tongue teased your bottom lip for access. Hands smoothed up and down your waist, the blanket forgotten as your kiss provided enough heat between the two of you. It was silent, save from the gasps and soft, pleasant hums leaving you both. He gently moved his hips while simultaneously guiding yours, a gentle moan leaving him as he found a rhythm. His lips found your neck and your hand made its way into his hair to have something to grasp onto. One hand found the hem of your shirt and he was about to lift it up when—
Brightness. Light. The electricity was back on. Meaning… everyone outside could see you. If there had been anyone, that is. Still, it broke the moment instantly as Steve dropped his hand to your thigh and looked up at you.
“Shit,” he murmured, a lopsided grin on his face. “They really know how to spoil the fun today, huh?”
You smiled down at him and turned around to look outside, one hand resting on his chest for balance.
“Hm… I don’t know. It seems safe to go back home.”
Steve dug his fingers into your hips with eagerness before leaving a soft kiss on your lips.
“Your place or mine?”
end.
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If you enjoyed reading this, please know that comments and reblogs are highly appreciated :) Likes are lovely but sadly do nothing to spread the fics around! Help your favorite writers (not saying me - in general) out like that so you can continue to enjoy consuming the free work they put out, it's a win-win.
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riality-check · 11 months
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A continuation of this post. Part 3
ao3
As that long-haired guy walks away - his friend onstage called his name, but Steve didn’t catch it - Robin nudges Steve.
“Asshole roadies,” she says, sing-song.
“Get fucked,” Steve says with her.
It’s tradition, that little chant. Every gig, there’s always one venue where someone with far less experience says something. Steve knows he was blunt and probably shouldn’t have said anything with that tone, but after too many times, his patience is exhausted.
He can’t even blame the blunt thing on ASL. If anything, he’s meaner in English.
It makes sense. He knows English a lot better. He and Robin only started taking the ASL classes two years ago, when he really needed it. His left ear had been pretty much gone for a while (fuck you Billy Hargrove for putting ceramic in his scalp), but he sucked it up and started learning when his right ear started going, too.
Honestly, he has no idea what caused that.
Two years of ASL means he and Robin aren’t fluent yet. Not even close. But between that, his residual hearing, and the lip reading he’s relied on for longer, Steve does alright. If he wasn’t at a gig, he’d bring his hearing aids, but that’s a recipe for disaster and broken equipment.
Plus, he’s learned he can’t focus on his job when he hears as well as feels the music.
Robin taps his arm again. You good?
I’m good, he signs back.
They finish setting up before they grab a snack. The venue is pretty tiny, a standing room only place that serves pizza and a few drinks, and that’s it.
The pizza is really good though.
They finish up their slices before they go back to the booth. Robin is particular about not eating around the equipment, and Steve has long given up on fighting her.
Their jobs are pretty easy, in all honesty. The light cues are pre-written, and sound check was an hour ago. All Steve needs to do is hit the cues, and all Robin needs to do is adjust mic levels and turn them on and off as needed.
This leaves plenty of room for a healthy amount of fucking around.
As Robin, always on his right side, starts telling him a story about her friend’s ex’s (who is also her friend, because lesbians are just like that) latest date, Steve watches the crowd file in and nods along.
His mind, however, goes back to that guy. Someone always says something, and it’s always someone new to touring. Steve can just tell. All the rookies do the same thing; they look at the stage with wonder in their eyes. This guy was no different. Just some rookie giving Steve a problem, like always.
Except that this guy was different.
Rookies tended to want to prove themselves. They wanted to show off their fancy knowledge and make it clear that they belonged there along with everyone else who had a career. They wanted to catch Steve off guard, make him thank them for helping him out.
This guy didn’t do that. He was nosy and pushy and pretty and rambled a lot, but he wasn’t trying to be a dick. He was trying to look out for Steve, even if it was none of his business, even if he didn’t know him.
He ended up being a bit dickish, but he wasn’t trying to be. If Steve were a nicer person, he’d think that might count for something.
Steve is trying to be a nicer person, with emphasis on trying.
His watch vibrates, jolting him back to the moment. He lowers the lights, cueing the openers to go on.
The set list, along with Steve’s cues, is in in a binder between him and Robin, lit by a book light with a battery that’ll die at least twice, with their luck.
The first opener is a band Steve has never heard of called “Corroded Coffin.” If they’re any good, he might listen to their music.
Big emphasis on might because he’s not a big fan of metal. Punk has better bass lines, one that Steve likes to feel in his chest.
He hits the cue when they start their opening song, lighting them in reds and purples and-
Oh. Shit.
That guy wasn��t a roadie. He’s part of the opening band. He’s a guitarist.
A really good guitarist.
A really hot guitarist.
Steve is so caught up in stating that he nearly misses the next cue. He doesn’t, though. He’s a professional.
Robin elbows him, and he turns to see her signing. For one hopeful moment, he thinks she’s signing “hungry” and will offer to get them both more of that really good pizza like the wonderful friend she is.
But then she repeats the sign, again and again, and Steve smacks her before hitting the next cue.
“I am not horny!” he whispers, clearly loud enough for Robin to hear through her earplugs because she laughs.
You think he’s hot, she signs.
Steve rolls his eyes.
I’m right! she teases.
Steve faces away from her for the two seconds it takes for her to tug him back.
“Not fair,” she says, and Steve only gets it because it’s light enough to read her lips.
The band has gone through two songs, and the lead singer, a tall Black guy, is saying something to the crowd. Steve hears it just fine with all the mics, but understanding is too much of a struggle to bother.
He doesn’t really care anyway. He likes feeling the music and hearing it with what he has left (his audiologist said it won’t accelerate his hearing loss, so any hearing protection is a waste of money), not listening to whatever the bands have to talk about.
Anything important? he asks Robin.
She shakes her head.
Steve turns back to the stage in time to hit the next cue, casting the band in blue as the guitarist starts playing a really low intro.
Did you hear his name earlier? Steve asks.
Robin says something, but it gets lost in the music and the dim light.
“Hettie?” Steve asks aloud.
Robin shakes her head. Sorry.
She finger spells, messing up once and throwing it out with a wave of her hands.
“Eddie?”
She nods.
Steve hits the next cue and uses the rest of the time to appreciate the view. Eddie really is hot, in his dark jeans and tattered tank top, grin on his face and quick-moving fingers. And Steve has never had a chance to talk to the talent, even if they’re nosy.
But Eddie was nosy because he was worried. It would almost be sweet if it wasn’t so condescending.
He didn’t mean for it to be, the terrible little rational part of Steve’s brain pipes up. And he apologized. Multiple times.
The bigger part of his brain reminds him that it doesn’t matter what Eddie meant it as. Steve effectively tanked any hope when he snapped at him before the show.
Oh God.
He has to do a whole tour with this guy. Who he was a total dick to.
Yikes. At least he has Robin, who is-
Currently staring at him and signing “horny.”
Steve smacks her again, which she laughs at and returns instantly before they focus back on their jobs. They’re professionals, goddammit.
Professionals who are already on less than stellar terms with one of the openers.
He’s so not looking forward to the next few weeks.
Tag list (this is not a regular thing for me but it was manageable this time!): @just-a-tiny-void @weirdandabsurd42 @satan-is-obsessed @honeysucklesinger @coyotepup345 @gayafmermaid @thegingerrapunzel
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katieaki · 1 year
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My post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure has just updated! Read it here, for free on my Patreon! This is only the third installment of PART TWO, so it's still a great time to hop on board!! I just made a summary of the first part, here, which tells you basically everything you need to know about Lou, her unrequited(?) love, and the ill-advised journey she is beginning as of this update.
In the previous update, we found out (kind of) what the object of Lou's affection wrote to her in that heavily, heavily perfumed letter. In this update, she has to deal with what she learned. Her traveling companion/special delivery, Holliday, is being... quite nice? At least, comparatively? They have a bit of "And There Was Only One Bed" going on, in that they're sharing a tent made for one. That's fun, right? Sleepover!!
Excerpt under the cut!
“I’m sorry to have been the bearer of such bad news, Lou, truly I am,” she said. She stroked the back of Lou’s hung head. Lou was surprised to find she found the gesture comforting, not condescending or overly familiar.
“It’s not all bad,” Lou said, her head still resting face-down on her knees. Her voice sounded pinched and nasal to her own ears and her throat felt almost too tight to speak. The knees of her jeans were thoroughly soaked through with tears. “She said she loves me.”
“Oh,” Holliday said, her brows knitting together. She held her other hand to her chest. “Oh, you poor thing.”
“She said. Right? That she loves me back?” Lou said. “She did say.”
“Oh, honey,” Holliday said. She cupped Lou’s chin and tilted her face up, searching her face for something, but Lou didn’t know what. Her hand was not as soft as Lou had expected it to be since everything else about her was so refined. “Bless your heart.”
Something about having to meet her eye made the tears start back up with renewed vigor. It hurt. It hurt bad. She wanted to say that it wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t how these things worked and frankly, Venus was right. That only made it hurt more. She couldn’t even gnash her teeth and wail against the injustice of it all. Venus was right, she was never around. She was always away. She was unpredictable and unreliable. She’d been so happy to be a rolling stone, gathering no moss for so long and now it was biting her in the ass. Turned out, girls liked when you were a little mossy.
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cardentist · 5 months
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op turned off reblogs on this post [Link], so I'm reposting this over here:
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it's Extremely Unfortunate that we're at the point in trans masc exclusionism where we have to be hyper vigilant against seemingly innocuous posts.
when the op of this post says "men" in this post she means trans men.
trans men who present masc before (and sometimes during and after) hrt are often clocked as butch lesbians, because they are seen as feminine bodies presenting masculinely.
while there Are cis men who present similarly to butch lesbians (there's a very famous meme about it), how many cis men do you know that are Actively Trying or Want to present like butch lesbians?
or how about the Not Insignificant Overlap between trans mascs And butch lesbians (and lesbians in general)? the amount of trans mascs who identified as lesbians before they knew, who sometimes continue to feel a connection to that community as they realize more about their identity.
when op says "transandrophobia truthers" are the exact group of people this post was made about he's talking about trans mascs. this is a post saying that Trans Mascs aren't The Real Thing. and more specifically, the "transandrophobia truther" dog whistle refers back to trans mascs who stand up for themselves. who want their trauma to be taken seriously, who want to be treated like equals within the community. [Link]
it is a derogatory term that was specifically created by exclusionists to belittle trans mascs who speak up for themselves. it is Explicitly About trans mascs, and yet it's a term that people who are unfamiliar with the harassment happening towards trans mascs won't recognize.
and the nasty thing about it is that op was Intentionally trying to make a jab to hurt and belittle trans mascs while Framing it as a support post for trans and lesbian women. people who don't Already Know are going to interact with this post thinking that it's Only a positivity post.
thinking that it's just a silly little post punching up at cishet society.
when it's transphobia pointed at trans masc people.
I've said it before, but all exclusionism on this site is the same. it's the Exact Same tactics used over and over and over again, just with different targets.
and you saw Exactly this technique with ace exclusion All The Time. make a post that seems silly and lighthearted on the surface, that's Worded like it's referring to a privileged group, so that people pass it around without thinking about it.
but the Undercurrent, is a coded message to hurt a specific minority group, to hurt the target that's Familiar Enough with their own exclusion to read the intended insult.
and by Coding It, by making it a dog whistle instead of making it explicit, it Seems like more people support their position than they do (furthering the feeling of isolation in their victims). and works to help Normalize their talking points as they slowly become more explicit (intending to convert more people).
with asexuals it was "cishets trying to invade queer spaces," with trans mascs it's "men trying to invade trans/women's spaces."
it's intuitive that queer people punch up at cishets, it's Intuitive that trans people and women punch up at men, and That's The Point.
if the op of this post hadn't Explicitly referred to trans mascs in the notes ("transandrophobia truthers"), then I probably wouldn't have figured out what they were doing. I would've felt put off by it (as I was intended to, as it was created with the explicit intent to make people like me feel uncomfortable), but I wouldn't have had reason to look further into it. I probably would've just brushed it off and moved on.
unfortunately the only way around it is hypervigilence (learning the dog whistles, familiarizing yourself with how exclusionists talk about their victims), and hoping that the hand was tipped somewhere. hoping that the people who do this give away what their real Intent was.
and it's frustrating because the Vast Majority of the notes on the original post are just people having fun. who saw a post about trans butch lesbians and got excited and happy. and it's So Gross to see someone weaponize that.
it's unfair that people Need to be hypervigilent about posts About Them. it's one of the more upsetting aspects About exclusionism.
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ohara-n-brown · 3 months
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Hey everyone,
'The New ThoughtCrime' is an anti-trans community detransitioner essay
Just wanted to give a heads up to the FTM community on here that a user named @mewthoughtcrime is trying to repost the 'New ThoughtCrime' think piece from 2017 - tagging it with this such as 'trans man', 'nonbinary' and 'transandrophobia'.
However this blog fails to mention that the main author of said piece is a lesbian who considers herself a detransitioner. While there is nothing at all wrong with that -
the problem more comes from the fact that said author also believes the trans community is a cult.
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This quote comes from the author's interview with Genspec - an organization that pretends to be trans supportive, while also believing trans kids are a myth, trans men are just confused teen girls, and pushing the book Irreversible Damage.
The author also believe in the idea of 'cotton-cieling' - a terf dog whistle that implies trans women intend to force lesbians to sleep with 'males who identify as lesbians'.
The think piece is NOT at all about trans men or transandrophobia.
It's about detransitioning from a woman who believes the trans community engages in 'thought reform' - in a way akin to cults.
The piece reads largely inspired by 'Irreversible Damage' - an anti-FTM shred-piece. This is basically J.K Rowling ideology.
They're in their right to repost whatever they want, especially if that piece of writing specifically spoke to them and other detransitioning folk.
However I do think it's incredibly disingenuous and sneaky to not include this information - or the true nature and intention of the work - in the Tumblr post, as the original author was very clear in stating so.
To post such a piece without tagging the detrans community is a disservice to them and a deliberate choice towards us.
The piece is not at all about transandrophobia - the OP is simply mistagging it to target particular groups - mainly, actively transitioning FTM who are looking for community.
This isn't to say you can't read and enjoy the piece, or connect to it. You absolutely can, it's about someones valid personal experience (well - some parts.) that's eloquently written.
What I do not support however is posting such material, purposely and vaguely mistagging it, while not explaining the contents, the context, and the intent of the author clearly.
I believe readers should always be informed about the source and intention of the writers of the information they received.
People should be allowed to make informed choices about what they read and involve themselves in - whether that be trans politics, or reading think pieces online.
That's why I am making this post.
'The New ThoughtCrime' is an Anti-Trans Community think-piece that targets trans men and lesbians by supporting TERF ideology.
Read with that information in mind. With the situation going on now with staff, I think it's important to be on high alert for indoctrination or misleading literature like this.
By all means, read if you like. I was just not at all impressed with the lack of transparency from @mewthoughtcrime when it comes to detailing the actual contents and source of that information.
It's one thing to call the trans community a cult - before turning around and releasing anonymous faceless think-pieces that you spread around without sources or actively informing others of its contents, in order to purposely get a demographic of people who do not wish to interact with you to unwillingly engage in your rhetoric.
As a essay that calls for 'transparency in the trans community' we can first start by lending some transparency to THIS essay.
Stay safe and stay informed y'all ✌🏾
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Man, this pisses me off so bad. If you're a woman who relates more to males than other women, it's because you've decided to focus more on how you're different from other women rather than how you're like them. You will literally never have more in common with males, and males do not feel the same way about you. These cute little posts that you write about how you love males more than your fellow women? They do not write the same thing about you. They hate and mock you constantly. Anyone remember "Cis women need to shut up"
"As a cis woman, I agree"
"You need to shut up, specifically"
?
Yea, that's how they feel about you and your solidarity.
The difference between lesbians and trans women in female spaces is the fact that lesbians do not have high rates of violence. There is no group of women that outclass men in terms of violent tendencies. Trans women retain the rates of male violence that regular men do. I'm not saying you have to treat trans women like they're all violent beasts, but if you can't see why female people would be uncomfortable with male people in their spaces, you're either naive or genuinely unsympathetic towards the very real fear that women have of being subjected to male violence. You can't say trans women and lesbians are similar because, unlike males, there is no statistical evidence that lesbians are highly likely to take advantage of a woman. If it turned out that 98% of rapes were committed by lesbians, I would 1000% understand why straight women don't fucking want to be around me. Have some fucking empathy, holy fucking shit. Even if you are completely on board with trans women being in female spaces, at LEAST acknowledge that it makes sense for women to be concerned about who is allowed in their spaces. It's crazy how I could tell someone I have a fear of dogs because one bit me when I was a kid, and they'd put their sweet pooch up, but God forbid a woman be cautious around a demographic who commit 90% of all violent crime. Oh no. That woman is suddenly a terf bitch.
I have nothing in common with trans women. I don't care how much pain they have experienced. We are not the same. When I was twelve, I cried and I cried as I put my palms together to pray to a God I hoped would be able to take away my homosexuality. I didn't even grow up in a particularly homophobic family. Both of my parents were accepting of me, but I still sat in the dark of my room, tears streaming down my face, as I prayed to have my sexuality changed.
Two years later, one of my friends made a joke about me dressing to impress my crush. She said my crushes name---a feminine name. A girl sitting in earshot heard her, turned to me, and asked me with disgust if I was gay. I said no without even thinking about it. It absolutely did not help that we were in a locker room with other girls. I was aware of my sexuality by that point, but I was 14 and unable to hold my own against a girl looking at me like THAT. For a few weeks after that, that girl made comments about how she was "watching me".
I know pain, I know discomfort, I know what it's like to feel predatory. Seeing feminine women, especially if they're white, makes me feel like an alien. I look at them and think "how are we so different? I see none of myself in you."
Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes we're not similar at all. But guess what? That doesn't mean I'm similar to a straight male. Fucking hell, sometimes I'm not similar to other lesbians. That's completely normal. I think OP needs to read better work by cishet women. If you think that there is not a single piece of cishet female writing that can move you more than something written by a male, you're not looking in the right places at all. I don't understand why some LB women seem to think that the very act of someone being a straight woman makes them incapable of relatability. Of course it makes sense for you to be cautious. Lesbians deal with a lot of alienation and predatory feelings, but if the very ACT of a woman being cis and straight makes you feel like she has absolutely nothing in common with you...? The issue lies with you. YOU are the one othering THEM. Not the other way around. You're the one who has decided that a few cis straight women othering you means that they ALL will so you'd better beat them to the punch. You're the one who has decided that your relationship to womanhood is so astronomically different from straight women that nothing they say speaks to you. That's INSANE. Do you realize how much you have to alienate yourself from womanhood to feel more relatability with a male person than a female one? Idk how to tell you this, but it is highly probable that the most cis, most het woman you have ever met has had a period. It's highly likely she's been harassed by a man. It's highly likely she's been made to feel inferior by way of being born female. No, they can't relate to the experience of being a lesbian who is made to feel predatory for no reason, but to say that nothing a cis het woman says/experiences can move you at all? Nothing they say can make you feel like your experience with womanhood and hers are similar? Do you realize how you sound? "Trans women have been harassed by men and made to feel inferior, too!!" Okay! So you should be able to relate to cis women in the way you do trans women, right?
I told my discord server that I was nervous about my future roommates. I showed them photos and someone said "all this tells me is that they're feminine and white" and I literally think about that all of the time. I was projecting. I was so scared that these white, feminine, probably straight women were going to judge me for being a black lesbian that I didn't even realize that I was the one violently judging them based off of nothing but their skin color and their femininity. I knew nothing about them. I STILL know nothing about them. I've barely spoken to them. But already I had labeled them as unrelatable judgemental women because of how they looked. Hold on. Wasn't I the one afraid of them judging ME? How could I be so afraid of them judging me for being a black lesbian when I was the one judging them already? What sense does that make?
You guys are so busy writing off cis straight women as unrelatable bigots that you've failed to see that you're the one who is extremely prejudiced against them. And I absolutely fucking know someone is gonna read this and say "well, you can't say that all trans women have male violence patterns and dahdahdahdah" and it's like. But YOU can say that cis straight women are so unbelievably different from lesbian women that you'd rather say you're more similar to a straight up fucking male???
I'm not saying it's not a little jarring to see women who are so different from me. I'm not saying I haven't been burned before and there's no reason for me (or other lesbians) to be cautious. But I will literally ALWAYS have more in common with cishet women than I ever will a man pretending to be a woman.
One time I had a professor. She was on the older side (I'd say 40's) and white. Not the type of person I'd think I'd click well with. She was straight and married with children. One day we talked after class, and the only thing that ended our conversation was the fact she had an event she had to go to. We would've talked longer if not for that. She emailed me a little while later to tell me that she enjoyed our chat. After that, she actually hugged me on two occasions. You wouldn't think we'd have common ground. An older, straight, married white mother and a young black lesbian. Both of us are "cis" but I can tell you I relate to her much better than I ever could someone born male.
I once had a personal trainer who was a feminine woman. She had acrylic nails and everything. One time she said that she couldn't hug her male friends anymore because she had a boyfriend (he wasn't the one enforcing that rule. That was something she personally felt). Also not someone I thought I'd click well with. But we did. One time we had a really productive discussion that was actually derived from the conversation with my professor. I felt very close to her in that moment. Our conversation came to a close because she had another client, but I still think about that convo.
There have been so many fucking times where I thought "this woman is not like me. Look at her." But what I realized was that I was the judgmental one. I was the one deciding we were different, not her. I was the one writing her off. I was the one convinced we had nothing in common.
I am BEGGING you not to alienate your fellow women. There are no inherent traits that make you unable to relate to other women. No amount of whiteness or cisness or straightness can make a woman completely unreachable. I am NOT talking about political parties or views so don't fucking try me with that shit. Obviously that puts a wedge between people, but someone simply being born cis and het does not make them alien from you. For God's sake, look at the fucking MeToo movement. Women from all fucking backgrounds who share an experience that an unfortunate amount of women go through. Women from all different races, sexualities, etc. who came together to talk about how they've been subjected to sexual violence. Ellen degeneres was one of them. How does that fit into your "lesbians and cishet women cannot relate to each other" spiel?
OP's post has 130k notes and it makes me fucking sick. Holy crap y'all, we need more solidarity than this. Other women are not your enemy. I'm begging you to reconsider your approach to women who are different than you. You are missing out on people who can love and support you in a way that literally no male can. You are depriving yourself. Just because a few cishet women in the past alienated you, does not mean that you have to continue their legacy. Let it go. Everyone on earth can see you embracing your hatred of women, and you wonder why your fellow women never hug you? They fucking can't! Put your hatred down and make space for the love that comes with realizing that you absolutely are like other girls!
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minustwofingers · 1 year
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exoplanet p. 4.5
second half of exoplanet part 4!
pairing: ellie williams x reader
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summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf
warnings: PLEASE READ! mentions of nsfw content (read at your own risk), violence, explicit language. also a lot of angst. ellie is still kind of a dick but not quite as much. 
a/n: haha. isn’t it sooo funny how i said this would come out almost 12 hours later and then i posted it? i need to hit the hay early asf today if im to be frank w you guys so here it is now. i want to thank you all for the sweet and kind messages and comments i’ve been getting—they’ve been fuel for my writing!! also, i’ve got a better idea of how i want to end it now, so i’ve got a pretty good outline for what’s going to happen. expect around 3 more parts (one of which may or may not be an epilogue from ellie’s pov). as always thanks for reading!
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4.0 (first half of this part) 
playlist inspired by exoplanet!!
wc: 6.5k
tags: @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @parkersmyth @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower​ 
enjoy x 
Dina’s sudden reappearance in your life was turning into one of the best things you had going on. When you were done with work, instead of loitering about Joel’s home and hoping to run into Ellie, you’d knock on Dina’s front door and spend your afternoons gossiping and trading stories. 
She never asked so explicitly about Ellie again, but you could tell that occasionally she wanted to.
“Guess whose birthday it is this weekend?” asked Dina one day in late April. The Wyoming sun was hung high in the sky, and the weather was steadily becoming warmer. The temperature was stuck at a breezy 60, and a part of you wondered just how hot it would get over the summer. 
Terranova rarely ever got over 70 degrees. Would it be hotter than that? Would you even be here to see it?
“Yours?” you guessed casually, pushing away the ever-present question of how long you’d really be in Jackson.
Dina snorted. “No. Not quite. You just missed mine, actually. I’m a December baby.” 
“Jesse?”
“No.”
“Joel?”
“Nope.” Her mouth popped on the p. 
Your heart thudded. “Uh—Ellie?” 
Her face split into a wide grin. “Yes! It’s her 20th. Isn’t that crazy? She’s ancient.” 
“Wow!” you said, coaxing faux enthusiasm into your voice. 
You and her had kept seeing each other at night, long after Joel had turned in. It always proceeded like clockwork—she’d come knock at your door, you’d fall into her bed, and then you’d leave.
You’d thankfully avoided any of the embarrassing stuff that you’d done the second night—no more unnecessary sensual face touching and whispers of her being a good person. You wanted to, though. There was so much that you ached to tell her, so many words that threatened to spill from your lips that you just barely managed to keep at bay. 
The worst part was the way that nothing had really changed between you two beyond what transpired every few evenings in her room. Each morning, you’d wake up knowing that you were in for another day of pretending like she didn’t know what it sounded like when you whined and begged and told her where to touch you. Like you didn’t know how her mouth tasted.
“I want to get her a present,” Dina was saying. “I do something for her every year, but I want this birthday to be a little different—given that she’s made it two decades and all, you know.” 
“That’s really thoughtful of you.”
Dina’s eyes sparkled. “I know! Do you want to help? If you do, I’ll tell her it’s from you, too.”
“Actually,” you said, wheels in your head turning, “That would be amazing. I have no idea what I’d get her otherwise.”
“Great.” Dina leaned back, nabbing her backpack from the ground and fishing through it until she produced a map. She unfolded it and began gesturing over the marks. “I found an abandoned bookstore in this area outside of the wall.” She tapped on a dot that she’d made, situated a fair ways away from the wall and on the opposite side of the town as the dam. 
“So we’re going shopping?”
Dina laughed. “Yeah. 5 finger discount, too. The only problem is that we might need to kill some baddies to qualify, but once we clear our way, it’s home free.”
“Right,” you said, fear creeping into your bones at the thought of having to fight off the infected. You’d only been on a few patrols since you’d been shot, and each had been totally unnoteworthy. You’d yet to actually shoot your gun at anything. “You—you do know that I’m not actually that good of a patrol partner, right?”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Dina, waving her hand dismissively. “I can take care of us. Plus, we haven’t seen infected in this area for a while. This is a pretty remote area—tough to reach unless you know what you’re looking for.”
“So, when are we going?”
A glimmer appeared in her eye. “Now?”
~
“Where are you going?” 
Ellie stood, her arms crossed as she leaned against the opposite wall. You were grabbing your patrol things, slinging your backpack over your shoulders and pulling on the gray sweatshirt she’d given you.
“Out with Dina,” you said, slightly breathless from moving so quickly. You hadn’t been expecting Ellie to be home—normally she was keeping herself busy picking up extra patrol shifts and helping Joel. It had been an unwelcome surprise to run into her, sour faced and serious while you were trying to get ready. 
“Out where?”
You shrugged, trying your best to look nonchalant. “Dina said she wanted to show me something.”
She was silent as you finished lacing up your shoes, but you could see her watching you from the corner of your eyes.
“I’ll be back in time for tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you offered snidely, hardly realizing what you’d said until it had left your lips. It had been a low blow. It had been nasty. You weren’t sure why you’d said it. 
“That’s not—” She rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 
“I know.” You stood up, feeling deflated. “Sorry. I don’t know why I said that.” 
Ellie sent you a tight smile. “It’s fine.”  
You walked back to Dina’s feeling heavy. That was how most of your interactions with Ellie seemed to go nowadays—awkward, stiff, and remarkably unfriendly. You weren’t sure what changed. And she was still fucking you, which didn’t make much sense.
Sometimes it felt like she was distancing herself on purpose. But that had to be wrong, because why would she do that? You obviously liked her. She wasn’t the one at risk of being hurt. 
You and Dina took off by foot as the sun began to set, well-armed with both weapons and navigational equipment. Well—Dina was, at least. All you had was the small gun Ellie had given you. Dina was doing all of the heavy lifting.
The forest was quiet, interrupted only occasionally by songbirds and the sound of wind rustling through the leaves. Spring had hit Jackson suddenly, the underbrush exploding in volume and flowers blooming everywhere.
As you two walked through the woods, chattering mindlessly and generally enjoying each other’s company, you made a mental reminder to return to the forest to pick up a makeshift bouquet of flowers. Ellie didn’t seem like the type to swoon over things like that, but even the most unromantic people could recognize the gesture of flowers. You were sure she’d at least put them in a vase. 
Eventually the path Dina was leading you on opened up to a heavily overgrown street, a small decrepit strip mall hidden away in the shrubbery.
“Here!” said Dina cheerily. She jogged forward, scrubbing the moss off of the door to show a book icon on the filthy glass.
“And you said that there’s no infected here?” you asked, your fingers wrapped nervously around your gun.
“Of course I did,” said Dina. “Do you think I’d take you somewhere that was infested?”
The glass shattered as a body came crashing through the door, thrashing and clicking in a mass of bloody limbs as it took Dina to the ground.
Your finger squeezed the trigger before you could think, sending a spray of gore into the air as Dina forced the thing off of her and stood, panting. 
There wasn’t even a chance to breathe. A piercing shriek cut through the air before three more followed the first, not paying any mind to the jagged edges of the broken door that grabbed at their mutilated skin. 
“Fuck!” Dina’s knife went swinging through the air, slicing and jabbing at the creatures in front of you. They fell in quick succession, but there was more rustling and screaming from inside. Far too much rustling. “Run!”
She didn’t have to tell you twice. Despite the fact that you’d never been a track star in school, you bolted quicker than you’d even known possible. Your backpack banged against your back as you sprinted down the road, ducking into the brush and making a break for it with Dina right on your tail. 
The walk there had taken close to 30 minutes. Your sprint cut that in over half. You and Dina ran in stride, with her lagging behind to send off a few shots to ground the runners that were quick enough to keep up. The clearing you appeared in all the way back in the winter flashed by you in a second, and within another few moments, you were both resting against the wall, chests heaving as you both picked off the stragglers that had come out of the forest to investigate.
By the time the last gunshot rang out and the final infected slumped to the ground, you were shaking uncontrollably, your gun vibrating in your hand. 
“Shit, I’m so sorry,” said Dina, equally breathless though significantly more composed as you two walked through the entrance, getting concerned looks from the people who were manning the gate. “I’ve never seen so many in that store before. I don’t understand. It was clear the last time I went.” 
Before you could respond, someone stepped into your eye line.
“What the fuck did you do,” seethed Ellie. Her eyes were wild, her lip curled in a manner so derisive you began to wonder if you’d ever actually seen her angry before this. 
“Chill, Ellie,” said Dina. “Y/N and I were just going to try and pick something up for your birthday. There were…a few more than what I was expecting. But it’s fine. We handled them. She did great.”
Ellie looked at you then, and you could feel her taking you in. Her eyes rested with accusation at the way that your hands were trembling. “You’re so fucking stupid, Dina. You knew that she’s never done this before. What the fuck is wrong with you, taking her out like that?”
“It was clear the last time I was there!” Dina spoke with her hands, waving them through the air in emphasis.“There wasn’t supposed to be any. I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t purposefully try to get us killed.” 
Ellie sent her another scathing look before turning her attention to you. “And don’t even get me started with you.”
You blinked. “What?”
“What the fuck were you thinking?!” she snapped. 
Dina sent you a wink and disappeared down the street in the direction of her house. 
“I was thinking of your birthday, actually,” you said delicately. “We were going to get you something from the bookstore.”
“That is not an excuse to go get yourself killed!”
You held up your hands in mock surrender, which looked really stupid considering how hard you were still trembling. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the original plan. Can we not do this right now? I’m still trying to, uh, process what happened.” 
As if to punctuate your point, the next step you took nearly sent you to the ground, your knees wobbling. 
Ellie’s hands were at your sides in an instant, solid and steadying against you as you regained your balance.
“Sorry,” you said again, lower this time. 
“How many?” Ellie asked. Her voice was softer now, almost resigned. She hadn’t let go yet.
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “After the first three or four, I lost count. They just kept—” You winced at the memory of the wet sound that they made hitting the ground. “They just kept coming.” 
“You did them a favor,” said Ellie, stepping back and to your side as you began to walk forward. Her hand stayed posed on your forearm. “It gets easier.” 
“I don’t know if I want it to get easier,” you confessed. 
“Well, how about you start by never doing something that fucking stupid again.” Her words lacked any venom. “Don’t you ever go out without me again, okay? Do you have any idea what could’ve happened to you?”
You gave your trembling hands a look. “I can take a guess.”
Ellie walked you back to Joel’s house, helping you out of your jacket and unsubtly checking your skin for bites. Or at least that’s what she said she was doing. She couldn’t seem to stop touching you. 
You headed back up to your room to get changed as Ellie shut the front door and was off to finish her work with Tommy. As you leisurely made your way down the hallway, you noticed that something was off—the hallway closet was slightly ajar.
The memories of your first night there came floating back to you, images of Ellie shutting the door before you could see inside emerging to the forefront.
It wouldn’t hurt to look, would it? It was probably nothing. 
Your hand wrapped tentatively around the handle, pulling the door open so slowly that the old, rusty hinge fell silent.
It wasn’t what you were expecting. It wasn’t what you were expecting at all. 
It wasn’t really a closet—there were a few shelves, but no hangers. In their place, there were stacks of textbooks with old, dated covers of the stars, planets, and physics. The back wall was plastered with drawings of constellations and calculations in Ellie’s messy scrawl, reminiscent of the leftover scrap paper from when you sat your physics exams and did your problem sets.
The memory of Ellie staring at your textbook re-emerged to hit you with full force. No wonder she was interested in it. THIS is what she was going to say that she wanted to study when you’d asked her. 
A slow smile crept onto your face as you thought about her upcoming birthday.
You knew what you were getting her now. 
~
Preparing for Ellie’s surprise party was a full day’s worth of work. You and Dina had convinced Maria to give Ellie enough things to do that she’d stay out of the house for the majority of the afternoon. You felt kind of guilty that Ellie was being put to work on her birthday of all days, but Dina just shook her head.
“It’s Ellie,” she said. “She lives to act all macho and patrol and shit. This is probably an extra present to her.” 
You two had located some flour, sugar, eggs, and butter and were hard at work baking a cake. It was tough going without a real recipe, but you’d grown up with a mother who loved baking, so you tried to do it from memory.
The result was a rather lopsided looking monstrosity that you and Dina had attempted to salvage through the liberal application of the thin icing you’d managed to whip up using milk and powdered sugar. It didn’t work, and you two didn’t wait long enough for the cake to cool before frosting it, so it melted in puddles and made the cake soggy.
“Fantastic work,” said Dina, wiping her hands on her front as you two surveyed the final product. “Really incredible, Y/N. You should really consider a career change.”
“Shut up,” you said, snorting. “Ellie’s gonna hate this.”
“She’s going to think it’s hilarious,” Dina corrected. “I’m sure it can’t taste too bad, right?”
You shivered. “Don’t say that.”
The decorations and gathering of presents were thankfully an easier challenge, and before you knew it Joel’s living room was fixed up to look obnoxious as possible, with a tacky “HAPP BIRTHDAE ELLIE” strung up in blood red reflective plastic (you two couldn’t find any Ys) above the fireplace. “Happy 5th Birthday!” balloons filled the ceiling, their gaudy purple color clashing horrifically with the red of the lettering. 
“This is just awful, Dina,” you said. “Ellie’s never going to speak to us again.”
“You need to chill,” Dina responded. “She might act grumpy all of the time, but I know her, and I know she’ll secretly like this.”
7 rolled around quickly, and with it came the guests.
First was the unsurprising Jesse, grinning and carrying a satchel that had a makeshift card attached to the top labeled “Ellie”. 
Next came Astrid, Bonnie, and Greg—all of the patrolmen that were roughly around your age. You hadn’t spent all that much time with them, but they’d always been fun.
Last came a girl you’d never seen before.
“Hi!” she said, extending a hand and looking at you through a fringe of choppy black hair. 
“Hi!” you said, taking her hand and shaking it once. “I’m Y/N.”
“I know,” she said, her eyes crinkling. “I’m Cat.”
“I can’t believe you two haven’t met before,” said Dina, swooping in to stand beside you. There was something written on her face—something that looked kind of like worry.
“I can’t either!” you said good-naturedly. “How do you know Ellie?”
Dina cringed.
Cat just smiled wider. “Oh. Ellie and I go way back.”
“Cat, why don’t you go help me in the kitchen? I need to finish plating some stuff,” said Dina. 
“Sure!” Cat sent you one more winning smile, following Dina with a bounce in her step.
Something felt deeply off about that interaction, but you couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was. You’d never seen Dina so eager to get you away from someone. Maybe it’d just been a coincidence?
You didn’t get a chance to dwell on it further, because Ellie was opening the door. 
“Surprise!” Everyone in the living room yelled upon seeing her. 
Ellie blanched, her eyes landing on you for a moment before she cast her gaze to the rest of the room. “What’s this?”
“Your birthday party,” said Dina, appearing from the kitchen with a plate of crackers and other appetizers, Cat in tow. “You didn’t think we were just going to let you turn 20 without embarrassing you just a little bit?”
“Those are the most hideous balloons I’ve ever seen,” said Ellie, crossing her arms.
“Thanks,” you said, beaming. “I picked them out myself.” 
Much to your surprise, her lips lifted until she was smiling back. “You’re such a loser.”
“Okay!” said Dina, clearing her throat and stepping in between you two. “You two can flirt later. I’ve been slaving away in the kitchen for an entire day. Let’s eat.”
You shut your mouth, blushing uncontrollably as your eyes lifted. Ellie’s cheeks looked uncharacteristically pink and her eyes were fixed on your shoes.
Dinner went by quickly, with everyone trading odd stories about patrolling and their life before Jackson. You learned that Dina had actually been born in New Mexico and that Astrid was from Oregon. You heard all about how Jesse and Greg came across an old mall a few miles out of Jackson that was so full of infected that they could hear them scratching at the doors and clicking even before they were within eyesight of the building. You told some stories about your life in Terranova, about studying and your family. 
“What the fuck is this?” asked Ellie once Dina had reappeared, carrying your sorry excuse of a birthday cake. Time had not treated it well. The first layer was almost entirely slid off, and the cake looked damp from the melted icing.
“It’s your birthday cake,” you said. “We, uh, tried. I don’t have a cake recipe memorized, and it was harder than I expected.”
The candles Dina attempted to stick into the cake kept falling out, the structural integrity so weakened from the melted frosting that chunks were coming off.
“Let’s just pretend that there’s 20 candles,” said Dina finally once the top layer of the cake finally split in half. 
“Right,” said Ellie, snorting. 
Dina led a very enthusiastic rendition of the Happy Birthday song that ended in cheers and hollers as Ellie dramatically lowered her head to the cake and pretended to blow the “candles” out. 
No one touched the cake, but you couldn’t blame them. 
Next came presents. Jesse went first, giving Ellie a satchel that held a bunch of cleaning equipment for her patrol rifles. Dina had found a t-shirt that said “Enemy of the State” in goofy comic sans lettering, and Ellie was unsuccessful in holding back her giggles at seeing it. 
“Dina, this is so stupid,” she said, but there was no venom in her tone, just amusement. 
It was your turn next, so you leaned across the table to place the small box in front of her. 
“Please tell me you didn’t almost die getting this one,” said Ellie, giving you a suspicious look.
“Not at all,” you said. “I accidentally brought it from Terranova.” 
Her nimble fingers untied the flimsy ribbon you’d haphazardly wrapped around the tiny brown box, lifting the lid off and peering inside.
“It’s a…rock?” Ellie frowned, pulling it out and holding it in her hand.
“You got her a rock for her birthday?” Cat asked you from her position to your right, her eyebrows raised.
“It’s not just a rock,” you said. “It’s a moon rock. Like, from the moon.”
Ellie froze, her eyes saucers as she stared at the rock balanced in her palm. “What?”
“I told you I studied astrophysics,” you said casually. “One of my professors let me borrow it because my research supervisor wanted to take a look at it, so it was in my bag. And I never had the chance to give it to him, obviously. So it’s yours now.” 
“Holy fuck.” She turned in over, her fingers running across the surface. “This is…wow. Oh my god.”
“That’s so cool, dude,” Jesse said. “Like, insane. I didn’t even know that those were a thing.”
“There’s only a couple in the world,” you added. “And even fewer that are still reachable. The rest are…well, out here somewhere. Terranova only has a few from our own expeditions and the professors who managed to grab what they had when they moved.”
“This one’s from me,” said Cat, leaning forward and placing an envelope in front of Ellie. “It’s not as cool as a moon rock, but I thought you’d like it.” 
Her fingers slid under the tongue of the envelope, ripping it open and pulling a piece of paper out. 
“Good for one more free tattoo,” Ellie read out.
Cat sat back, looking awfully pleased with herself. 
“Cat was the one who gave Ellie the one on her arm,” Dina explained to you.
 A memory pricked at your consciousness, dating back to your first patrol with Ellie.
An ex had given her the tattoo on her arm.
The girl who had given her tattoo was Cat.
Cat was her ex.
That makes so much sense you realized with horror as you remembered how Cat had told you so confidently that she and Ellie went way back. Of course they did. They used to date.
“Where’d you go?” asked Dina, bumping your shoulder.
“Sorry,” you said, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “Just, uh, tired.”
When you looked up, Ellie’s eyes were on you, her lips slightly quirked.
You looked away, instead focusing on the placemats that Dina had set out. Cat was so different from you—so peppy, so confident, so loud. No wonder Ellie didn’t want anything more than what you had now. Whatever Ellie had seen in Cat had nothing to do with you. 
The night ended with you all sitting on the couches in the living room with Dina mixing drinks so strong that you were wondering if she was trying to kill you. 
“Jesus Christ, Dina,” you said as you watched her pour. “What is that? 90 percent vodka?” 
“I prefer to call it efficient,” Dina corrected. 
It burned going down your throat and you fought back a cough as you placed your glass back on the coffee table. Ellie was right next to you, her thigh barely brushing against yours as you moved.
Cat was on the other side of the room, seated next to Jesse and Astrid. You were internally very proud that Ellie had chosen to sit next to you instead. Her arm rested on the back of the couch behind you, and even though it couldn’t have meant all that much, you couldn’t help but wonder if it at least meant something. 
You were just halfway through your cup by the time you started to feel really and properly sloshed. Your voice sounded tinny in your ears, and from the way that Ellie was laughing at anything anyone said, you had a sneaking suspicion that she was somewhere around where you were.
It wasn’t long before everyone had excused themselves and wished Ellie a final happy birthday—it was getting late and quite a few had early shifts the next day.
Dina was the last to go, saying goodbye and sending you another look as she pointedly stared at the arm rested behind you.
For a few minutes, you and Ellie just sat in silence, hearing the fire crackle and the sound of her softly breathing.
Then she spoke.
“How did you know that I’d like the moon rock?”
“Oh.” You blushed. “Don’t be mad. You left the closet door open the other day—you know, the one with all your space textbooks and everything. It was an educated guess.” 
“So nosy,” she tutted. 
“But you do like the rock?” 
She smiled. “Yes. Thank you.”
You reached forward and polished off the rest of the drink that Dina had made you, feeling the liquid fire slide down your throat and settle in your stomach. 
When you turned back, you could see Ellie staring at you, her auburn hair glowing in the firelight, her pupils blown wide, and her eyes slightly unfocused. She’d had more than one of the drinks that Dina had made, and it was really showing. 
“You’re so pretty.”
You froze. Out of all the things you expected her to say, that was nowhere on the list. The words had left Ellie’s lips like a compulsion, raw and honest. 
She hadn’t stopped looking at you, but her eyes were wider, her cheeks red. She hadn’t meant to say it, you realized. Now she was embarrassed and flustered, and it was all because of you. 
It was the boldness of being tipsy that made you move towards her, pulling your legs up until you were seated on your knees in front of her.
Ellie didn’t move apart from wetting her lips, her eyes darting from your eyes to your mouth. 
When you kissed her, she melted into you. The arm that had been draped over the couch behind you dropped to your back, your own hands sliding into her hair and tightening at the back of her neck.
She gasped as she felt your nails scrape against her, and you took the opportunity to lick into her open mouth, tasting the vodka on her tongue as it slid against yours.
To your surprise, her hands didn’t creep up your shirt or dip below the waist of your pants. They stayed static, one glommed onto your back while the other clutched your jaw as she let you kiss her, over and over again. 
You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but there was something about it that felt different than your usual nighttime meetups. It felt more—vulnerable, almost, that Ellie was kissing you just to kiss you, not with some other agenda. 
The grandfather clock chimed, indicating that it was almost midnight. You pulled away from her for a second, panting as you caught your breath. A string of saliva suspended between your lips, snapping as you waved a hand through it and flushed.
“Sorry,” you whispered.
She just smiled.
“Is Joel going to be back soon?”
As if to punctuate your point, the front door banged open, the man in question pulling his jacket off and turning to see you both. You’d thankfully managed to get off her lap before he saw. 
“Oh!” he said, his eyebrows nearly touching his hairline. “I wasn’t expecting you two to still be awake.”
“Uh, yeah,” said Ellie, scratching the back of her neck. “We’ve just been…talking.”
“Good party?”
“Yeah.” 
“I’m glad. Tommy and Maria wish you a happy birthday, by the way. Though I’m sure you knew that.” 
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Well,” said Joel, giving a sigh that only old men could recreate, “I’m off to bed. You two don’t stay up too late, huh? You’ve still got work tomorrow.” 
“Goodnight,” you two chorused. 
Once Joel had disappeared into his room, you turned to look at her.
“That was close.” 
“Yeah.” Ellie laughed nervously, picking at her cuticles. “Um—do you want to move somewhere else?”
Something deep in your chest ached. Sure, you’d be okay with spending another hour or so feeling her hands on you as she made you finish, but a part of you had really liked just touching her for the sake of touching her—kissing her just because you could.
“Sure,” you said. “Just give me a chance to change.”
When you knocked after switching into more comfortable clothes, the door swung open to reveal a significantly more nervous looking Ellie than you’d seen in a while.
“Hi,” you said shyly.
“Hi.” 
You stepped into her, pressing a tentative kiss to the corner of her mouth. When she didn’t react, you pulled back.
“Is everything okay?”
“Do you want to stay over?” Ellie blurted out, her eyes wide and afraid. 
You balked. “Uh, what?”
“You don’t have to,” she said, her eyes dropping to the ground. “I’m sorry. I know we’re not like that. I just thought that—maybe, I dunno, just this once—”
“Yes,” you interrupted. “Please. I’d really like that.” 
“Right. Good. Okay.” She took a deep breath, then laced her fingers through yours to lead you to her bed.
When your mouth found hers again, it was just like on the couch—no intentionally rough or overtly sexual touches, just gentle brushes against your skin and the weight of fingers tangled in your hair as she pulled you further into her.
For the first time since you confessed, you didn’t sleep together. When you two finally tired out, you flopping down on the pillow first, Ellie’s head came to rest on the expanse of skin between your shoulder and your neck, your arms coming around her.
It was strange. For someone so deadly and tough, Ellie suddenly looked so small and fragile curled against you, the rise and fall of her chest synchronized with your breathing. 
“I’m sorry Cat was invited,” Ellie said, her voice muffled from where her face was pressed into your neck.
“What do you mean?”
“I should have told you what her name was. That must’ve been a nasty surprise.”
Her foresight and understanding made your heart ache, deeply. How was it that she could say all these things but not want anything more with you?
“It was alright,” you said. There was no conviction in your tone. “I wouldn’t have expected you to tell me.”
Ellie was silent for a few beats. You knew she was thinking, though; you could feel the flutter of her lashes against you as she blinked.
“How long do you think it’ll take for you to forget me?”
You paused. “What? What do you mean?”
Ellie shifted against you, one of her arms draped over your chest. “I mean, when you go back.”
“Ellie,” you chided, bringing your hand up so you could run your fingers through her hair. “Don’t be ridiculous. As if I’d ever just leave you behind. If I go back there, I’m finding some way to bring you with me. So, no. That’s not even a valid question. I’m never forgetting you.” 
In truth, you hadn’t even begun to consider what you’d do if—when—you were found. You’d been so focused on trying to fit into your new life here that your past had largely just faded into the back, shrinking in the horizon. What you did know, at least, was that even in some dystopian future without Ellie, she’d never be off of your mind.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 
“I’m not,” you replied, tapping her shoulder. “I mean it. You’re stuck with me.” 
Her diaphragm vibrated as she let out a short laugh. “Oh, the horrors.” 
She fell silent as you kept threading your fingers through her hair, letting your nails scrape against her scalp. The hand that wasn’t draped over your chest had crept up, her thumb rubbing back and forth as she traced the outline of your jaw.
“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly. “I can be such a sad drunk sometimes. It’s pathetic.”
“It’s okay,” you soothed, your other hand lightly dancing up and down her back. “I think it’s sweet.”
She snorted. “You would.” 
Then, after a few more seconds of silence: “You really weren’t jealous?”
“I never said that.” 
“So she did make you jealous?”
You flicked her shoulder. “Fuck off. Of course she did. Happy?”
“Thrilled.” 
A few moments later, she spoke up again. 
“Can you promise me something?” Her voice was deceptively casual.
“Anything.” You’d give her anything she wanted.
“Promise me that you’ll take the first opportunity to go home,” she said softly. “Promise you won’t do anything stupid.”
“I’ll take the first opportunity to go home as long as I get to have you around, too.” 
You couldn’t see it, but you knew she was rolling her eyes. “Not good enough.”
“You want me to leave that badly?” You weren’t sure if you should be hurt.
“Of course not,” she responded. “I just...I don’t expect you to wait around here for me. I don’t want you to. I want you to be safe.”
“I feel safe with you.”
“Will you just—fucking—say you’ll go?” Her voice sounded raw, tired. 
“Fine,” you said. “I promise.” 
Your words were empty. You couldn’t promise her that. She had to know that. But would it matter? If you never had to make that choice?
In retrospect, you weren’t sure when you drifted off. All you remembered was the warmth of Ellie gathered up in your arms, her measured breath blowing across your exposed neck as you felt the slow, marching rhythm of her heart.
~
When you awoke to the early morning sunbeams streaming in through the window and warming your face, Ellie was passed out cold on top of you. A few unruly strands of her auburn hair had ruffled upwards overnight, sticking to your cheek and threatening the seams of your lips. 
You’d never been happier.
As you thought, running your hand gently up and down the length of her spine, Ellie’s breath hitched.
You froze, thinking you must have woken her.
Then she made a quiet snort. She took another deep breath in, whistling as it went. Her next exhale was louder and caught in her nose. 
You did your best not to laugh enough to wake her.
Ellie snored, even though she wasn’t that loud. The part of you that was still intimidated by her was shrinking by the minute. If only you had known in the beginning that after a long day of bullying you she went back to her room to honk shoo the night away, you never would’ve let it bother you.
She jolted awake, blinking rapidly as she pulled away and looked up at you.
“What the fuck are you laughing about?” she said groggily. “It’s—” She twisted in your arms, squinting at her desk. “It’s 6 in the fucking morning. Shut up.” With that, she flopped back down on top of you, laying one arm over your torso so she could shove it the space under the pillow beside your head. 
“You shut up,” you heard yourself say. 
Ellie smacked your shoulder, not even bothering to lift her head. 
“You snore,” you said, quieter this time. 
“I don’t.”
“You literally do. I was there when it happened.” 
She was silent for a few moments. “Really?”
You pressed your lips to her forehead instead as you trembled from the laugh you were doing your best to rein in.
“Oh, god,” groaned Ellie. “That’s so embarrassing.” 
“I thought it was cute.”
“You think everything I do is cute.” 
“And what about it?”
You settled back in, wrapping your arms around Ellie as you tried to drift back off.
“Do you hear that?” 
Her voice was whispered.
“Hear what?”
“That sound.” 
You let go of her and sat up, your eyes unfocused as you tried your best to tune into whatever Ellie was talking about. Out of the corner of your vision you could see her staring at you with big, nervous eyes.
It took you a moment to notice it. No one could blame you, really. It was hardly a rarity to hear the sound of a plane when you grew up in Terranova. 
“That’s a plane, Ellie,” you said, reaching out to cup her face. “It’s fine.” 
“A plane?” She frowned, still blinking bleariness out of her eyes. “I’ve never heard one before. Joel told me that they stopped being used after the government officially fell.”
“That’s not true,” you corrected. “There’s some in—”
A puzzle piece clicked into place, and with it came a sense of underlying dread. But you shouldn’t be dreading it. It’s what you were hoping for after all, weren’t you? What you’d been praying for since you’d arrived?
“Let’s go outside and look,” you said, nudging her side. “I’m sure it’s nothing.” You were hoping it was nothing. 
Ellie followed you, pulling a throw blanket from her bed and draping it around her shoulders like a cape. She looked so cute like that. You wanted to bite her. Not, like, in a weird blood kink way. Just in a…you didn’t know how to describe it. Better leave it there. 
A lump formed in your throat.
Maybe you were wrong. Maybe this had nothing to do with you.
The air was tepid and pleasant against your bare skin as you two quietly opened the front door and crept onto the porch. The town was quiet. No one was awake at this hour, not unless they were down by the stables or doing night watch. 
There was a sliver of pink and orange hanging over the tops of the mountains, no doubt remnants of what had been a spectacular sunrise. There were still snowy caps on the highest peaks. You hadn’t known that mountains could stay so cold for so long until you’d come to Jackson.
The lump in your throat grew larger.
“Shit,” said Ellie, leaping down from the porch and onto the road. “Do you see this?”
The plane was no longer in sight, but the swirling papers that hadn’t been on the road the night before were left as evidence.
“They must’ve dropped them,” said Ellie excitedly, snatching one from the ground and bounding back up the steps so she was next to you. “What do you think this says?”
You smiled sadly. “Why don’t you read it?”
She unfolded the envelope, ripping open the top and dumping the contents out in her hand. 
“Oh.” 
It was a picture of you. It’d been taken months prior at your family’s Christmas party. You’d worn glittery silver eyeliner and curled your hair. The upper half of your body was in view, clad in a rich red fabric that landed right below your collarbones. A string of creamy white pearls were clasped around your neck, matching the teardrop pearls that hung delicately from your ears. 
HAVE YOU SEEN HER?
There was no other text, but you did notice a divet at the top right corner in the shape of a small oval. 
Terranovan security. Of course. 
Wordlessly, you pressed your thumb into the mold, holding it there for a second as the parchment recorded your print.
Then a paragraph formed at the bottom, ink slowly leaking into the paper.
COME TO THE COORDINATES LISTED BELOW AT EXACTLY NOON, MAY 15TH. A LIFT WILL BE WAITING TO ESCORT YOU.
You’d been found. 
final a/n: sorry not sorry this was the original cliffhanger that i was planning for part 4 all along. you guys are incredible for still sticking around and reading even though this is getting lengthy as hell. anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this sort of different side of ellie before we reach the final act. the plot is abt to reach its peak and i’m hellaaa excited to share it with you. okok let me know what you think! it might take me around the same time it took me to finish part 4 to get part 5 out considering how sick i am/how much i have on my plate, but i promise it’s coming :))
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simp4nott · 3 months
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⤹𓍢ִ໋ THE ROOMATES
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Summary: You and Ellie didn't exactly get along, yeah you hung around each other but it was only for your friends sake. One of you always found a way to annoy one another until you both were pissed at one another. So when it came to the apartments in Jackson, Maria had full control of roommates. So when you and Ellie find out who you’ve been paired with... let's say neither of you are excited.
pairing: Ellie Williams x f!reader
Word count: 414!
Warnings: (no warning for the sneak peek but here are the warnings that will be in the fic) Smut!, kissing (obviously), Strap on sex (r receiving), dirty talk, hot lesbian sex, and fingering (r receiving).
A/N: if you see this and are like 'I've seen something exactly like this' is because you properly have, because I deleted it after posting it because I didn't know how to write the rest , BUT I have been rewriting it (kinda) and finally figured out how I'm gonna finish this fic.
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Maria had been assigning roommates since they had cleared the apartment building.
The one thing Maria didn't tell her or anyone, is who they'd be roommates with. She had only given the number of the apartment they'd be staying at.
So when Ellie found her apartment and unlocked it, expecting it to be a bit louder in her shared space, she was surprised to find it quiet, which could only mean her roommate wasn't here yet.
The apartment was nice, had a cozy little living room, great kitchen & nice bathroom even after going through an outbreak and years of infected and raiders.
Elie had finally made it to the area where she assumed the bedrooms were, and since she was the first one there, she went to see which room was bigger.
So it was a surprise to Ellie when she opened the first door to find you laying on your pink zebra striped bedding, white stringed headphones in your ear as you watch something on your phone.
"Great, you're the one Maria put me with." she scoffed, obviously annoyed that she'd have to share a living space with you.
"God, don't act so disappointed, you know deep down you were hoping for this." you said, taking the headphones out of your ears, and a smile on your face.
"Oh, you fucking wish." she spoke, rolling her eyes and walking to the door across from yours, leaving your door open to irritate you.
"In your dreams babe!" Ellie heard you yell from across the hall.
And the way Ellie's eyes went wide, she couldn't think fast enough to say something back.
"Cat got your tongue Williams? " You spoke resting against the door frame, arms crossed and smirk on your face.
"You're such a pain in the ass." Ellie said, her back to you as she started to unpack desk supplies onto her desk.
You found yourself wandering into her room, finding a box on the floor near the closet door.
"Damn Williams, that all you got, you goin easy on me?" you said bending down to go through the box on the ground.
“What are you doing?” she asked, turning to stand behind you to see what the fuck you where doing. 
She tries to pretend not to see your hot pink thong peeking out of your jeans calling her name and luring her into a trap.
 Once Ellie saw that you were going through her stuff, she put an end to that very fucking quickly.
Moving from behind you to the side of you to snatch the box away from you.
"Can you fuck completely off."she snapped at you; aggravated for too many damn reasons, her body and mind betraying her, and you almost finding something very important to her lifestyle . 
Ellie was ready to take a long nap and completely forget who she was living with. 
“God, you’re no fun williams.” you roll your eyes before you sway your hips out of her room.
Ellie watched you leave the doorway of her bedroom.
                   God, what the fuck is happening??
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A/n: As I'm posting this right now, I'm actively switching tabs between google docs and Tumblr.
I'm thinking that this fic will be posted either this upcoming Friday or that weekend , and this time I WON'T delete this and also not post the fic .
feedback would be appreciated, I did not proofread because I'm running on cherry Coke Zero and few hours asleep + school.
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elliereject · 2 months
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ifhy .2
* in which ellie’s obsession relationship with you begins to sour as your romance with your new boyfriend seems to flourish. it seems she’ll stop at nothing to ensure your happiness, (which you’ll find with her, obviously) even if it means hurting you in the process.
* lowkey obsessive ellie, ellie beats someone up, angst + comfort (next chapter(s), infidelity, unrequited feelings yet also mutual pining (just read it like, idk idk I forgot how to do these),lmk if I missed anything!
* HELLLLLOOOO!? oh my god 100 likes on part 1 and over 100 followers??? ty? so much?? <3 the next parts almost done so I gotta tweak some things but I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! I meant to post this like 2 days ago but I fell asleep editing…
* mdni
* wc ~ smth like 1.8k
pt .1 here ★ pt .3 coming soon
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“Are you seriously wearing that?” You sighed, flopping back on Ellie’s twin bed.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Ellie asked, eyeing her worn skinny jeans and a black oversized hoodie.
“First, there’s a hole in the side of your hood. Second, you wore that 3 times this week already.”
“No, I didn’t. These are different jeans!”
You groaned, “Ellie it’s a party, live a little.”
She let out a small laugh, “Says you, you were literally on the verge of throwing up like 5 minutes ago. Did whatshisname text you?”
She crossed her fingers in hope that he hadn’t.
You rolled your eyes, “You know his name, and he said he got there about 20 minutes ago and’ll meet me near the living room.”
“Cool, cool.” She said stiffly. “We should probably get going then.”
You jumped up from the bed, practically skipping over to the door. “Finally, you take a surprisingly long time to get ready.”
She didn’t. She was just trying to drag out the amount of time she had before she saw you clinging to your boyfriend and laughing at his stupid jokes.
She was still trying to find a way to show you that he was a dick and she was what you needed but all the ideas she had ended up with him dead and while she was considering it, you probably would have a hard time forgiving her.
The two of you trekked down to the elevator and while your back was turned she couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to slip her hand into yours. How would you react? Would you recoil? Or would you squeeze her palm? Ellie was never really a touchy person yet she made some exceptions when it came to you, however nothing as intimate as hand holding.
And something screamed at her, begging her to try. Her fingers itched by her leg and before she knew it she was stretching out her arm.
Close…so close she could feel the warmth radiating off you.
In a moment you whipped around and she didn’t have enough time to retract her hand.
“What are you doing?” You asked, tilting your head in a way that made her heart ache.
“You just had a uh– a piece of lint.” She lied easily as she picked nothing off your sleeve.
“Oh, thanks! Easier to get rid of then a hole, huh?” You let out a giggle and stuck your finger through said hole, she forced a laugh.
The rest of the ride down Ellie urged herself not to have any more daring thoughts.
Once down, you cracked jokes about your professor and weirdos in your classes, and Ellie tried her best to laugh along, all the way to the frat where the party was being held. Once you made it, you shoved past the sweaty bodies in the living room to look for your boyfriend whilst Ellie shrunk into the kitchen to confide chat with Jesse who was busy chugging a twisted lemonade.
“Jesse. I want you to thank God you aren’t a lesbian.” Ellie groaned, pulling the drink from his lips and taking a swig herself.
“Shit. What happened now?” He sighed, reaching past Ellie to grab another. Ellie’s been moping about you to Jesse for a while now, although he doesn’t really know it’s you because she doesn’t wanna fuck up the way her friends view your guys’ relationship.
“I was walking behind her earlier before we got into the elevat— classroom. And I was like 5 seconds away from grabbing her hand.”
“And why’s that a bad thing? I thought you liked her.” He asked in between sips.
“Because she has a fucking boyfriend! And that would’ve been so embarrassing I think I would’ve bit off my tongue and killed my self right there.”
Jesse let out a low whistle and Ellie crossed her arms. “Don’t you have any advice for me, or are you just gonna stand there?”
The man shrugged, “You’re not gonna like what I have to tell you. Have you tried talking to Joel about any of this?”
Ellie shook her head with a sigh, “He’s busy with work as is, I don’t wanna bother him with this shit when I barely even get to talk to him.”
“Well then, you should prob—hey! ★ what’s up?”
Their conversation was cut short as you walked into the crowded kitchen. With no luck in the living room, you decided to retreat there to talk with your friends while periodically checking your phone for any missed calls or texts.
Ellie noticed the worried look on your face. “Hey, hey. He’ll call. And if he doesn’t he’s a fucking idiot.”
She urged you to try and live in the moment and reassured you again that’d he’d call soon, even though she hoped and prayed he didn’t.
You gave her a small smile and muttered “I guess.” Before taking the red solo cup she offered you and downing it. Eventually, Dina joined your little trio and you temporarily forgot all about him since you were having so much fun chatting with your friends.
Ellie, still smiling, excused herself to the washroom after announcing she had to piss and thank god she did because the scene she stumbled upon literally made her laugh with joy. She had been looking for a reason to beat the fuck out of your boyfriend and did she find it.
After mistaking one of the bedrooms for the washroom—since every fucking door in that house looked the same—her eyes immediately landed on the familiar lanky figure who was shacking up with some tiny brunette bitch.
“No fucking way!” She guffawed, completely amused.
“Please, it’s not—“ Your boyfriend started, pulling his lips from the girl and straightening out his shirt.
“I’ve been looking for a reason to beat your sorry ass! This is just perfect.” She laughed manically as she stomped into the room, slamming the door behind her and cracking her knuckles.
The girl he was previously with was shaken to her core, and practically sprinted out of there. Before he could get out another word, Ellie’s fist was already crushing his face.
“You dick, God I knew you were an asshole but this is just—wow! Cheating on her when she is most definitely the best you could ever do?” Another punch and he was on the ground.
Blood was leaking from his nose and his lip was split. Suddenly she was on top of him, her fists flying. His glasses were broken and tears ran down his face pathetically.
She’d bottled up her emotions for so long; her love for you, her jealousy towards him, her anger at the entire situation, that it all muddled together and bursted the bottle, sending shards everywhere.
Ellie has always been an innately intense person, but this, pummelling something that deserved it, someone that she’d been fantasizing about beating the shit out of ever since she’d met them. It felt good.
“Pl-please stop.” He begged, and she halted her fists, but only for a moment.
She scoffed. “Stop? Stop. Man, I should rip your tongue out. Maybe that’ll finally shut you up.”
His eyes widened as he scanned her eyes for any sign of sympathy, of mercy, but all he found was icy green.
“You’re fucking crazy!” He shouted, trying and failing to shimmy her off him.
She shrugged, “Maybe.”
She was about to throw another fist but she heard frantic footsteps speeding toward the room.
“Shit..” She tapped the side of the guy’s face harshly as he was beginning to black out. “Listen, you’re going to get up. Hop out the window and take your ass home, if someone asks what happened say you got jumped. You’re not going to look at ★ again, text her, call, or even breathe near her. Transfer out of her classes and if I even get the idea that you’re thinking of contacting her again, I will find you. And I will rip your tongue out, got it?”
He nodded wildly and she finally got off of him. She watched as he scurried toward the window and hopped out, it was only a few feet, he’d live.
Ellie wiped her stained hands on the inside of her sweater and opened the door just as the brunette from before was about to, she was standing next to one of the frat guys.
“What’s going on?” Ellie said easily, putting a charming smile on her face and hiding her hands in her pocket.
“Where is he?” The brunette asked worriedly.
“Who? It’s just me in here.” Ellie said looking around confused.
The frat boy looked behind Ellie and them at the girl before sighing and turning back around, “Don’t bother me again. Just enjoy the party.”
“B-but—“ She immediately shut up when Ellie shot her a malicious glare.
She strolled out of the room and back toward the main floor to see you sulking on the couch, checking your phone.
“What happened?” She asked, sliding next to you and resting her arm behind you on the cushions.
“He still hasn’t answered.” You pouted.
And for the first time in months she shot you a genuine smile, despite the fact you were talking about him. “I wouldn’t worry about it, don’t think you’ll hear from him anytime soon.”
You smiled at her and she shot you a weird look, “What?” she asked.
“Nothing..you just seem a little happier than usual.” You said, leaning into her arm.
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
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tagz ଳ (send me a message to be added!)
@bready101
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sexysapphicshopowner · 6 months
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🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Modern AU- You and Sevika are coworkers turned best friends at her mechanic shop. She's having a little trouble telling you...something. She uses her Secret Santa gift to you to tell you.
🤎 soft!mechanic!Sevika x bubbly!mechanic!reader
🤎 CW/TW: lesbians being lesbians, Sevika is Sevika but you make her feel things...she's not sure what to make of that, blossoming relationship, pining, christmas, santa, fluff, pet names, first kiss, mistletoe, suggestive talk (you gotta close your eyes though), no use of y/n, not proofread
🤎 A/N: I know I should be writing part 2 to 'Our Love' but this idea (and Sevika period) is giving me serious brain rot. Enjoy my probably ooc ass version of Sev. This sucks ass, butttt I'll make up for it with a better post later, I promise!!
🤎 Notes: most times, I will be explicitly writing a black reader. this is not one of those times. this is a fully ambiguous reader save for the gender- female. I'm a firm believer in the beauty of Sevika's scars so to keep them in this we'll say she's a surviving burn victim.
🤎 Word count: 2.7k
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🤎 You were one of the first people to apply for work when Sev first opened her shop
🤎 It was basically run by the two of you the way you became quick friends
🤎 You had come in, already dressed in a worker's jumper, the top half off and wrapped around your waist with a black cami on
🤎 If it weren't for how you were dressed, she wouldn't have even realized you were here about the job posting because she was too busy focusing on how pretty she thought you were
🤎 You started the same day
🤎 It wasn't like you two didn't notice each other, but you both put into your heads that it would be unwise for you to let your attraction go anywhere due to you guys basically running a business together
🤎 So every time you caught yourself drooling over Sev as she worked under the hood of a car, muscles rippling, grease covering her in smudges here and there....whew boy, let's just say you take a lot of....water breaks
🤎 She's no better either
🤎 The way her eyes follow your curves every time you bend over to pick something up
🤎 She stares at your lips whenever the two of you are talking, be it inside or outside of work
🤎 Speaking of which, you guys hang out- a lot
🤎 Within the first month of you working for her, she had already invited you over for dinner- as a friend
🤎 Once you guys become besties, you're over her place more than your own
🤎 You two will talk about any and everything together
🤎 At some point you call yourself trying to ignore your raging crush on your best friend and get a girlfriend
🤎 It ends in you being cheated on serially
🤎 You go to cry at Sev's the night of the breakup
🤎 This is the first time....something happens between you two
🤎 You're both drunk of your asses, you moreso than her
🤎 She's watching you intently as you curse out your ex and ramble on about all the things she wasn't meeting the bare minimum with
🤎 It's not until you've been silent for a while, lips no longer moving, that Sevika looks back up to your eyes, the two of you now dangerously close to one another
🤎 "What's wrong? I was listening I swear," she starts to defend herself
🤎 Your pupils are blown, your eyes glassy and your face flushed- whether from the alcohol, your proximity to Sevika, or a combination of both, you were too inebriated to tell
🤎 You reached up, fingers just barely grazing her jaw as you spoke
🤎 "Your face is so....you're beautiful..." you slurred, fingers ghosting over the scars that were etched into the lower left side of her face, trailing down her neck and disappearing underneath the collar of her t-shirt.
🤎 Her ears burned red hot as she just let you talk
🤎 You continued to slur on, but she chalked it all up to you being drunk until you said some words that made her heart beat faster in her chest
🤎 "'M not....s'posed to....I think....I like you...." you whispered as you leaned against her chest
🤎 Had you been a little more sober, you would've noticed the way her heart started to beat out of her chest at your words.
🤎 Actually, had you been a little more sober...you wouldn't have said that, but shhhh....
🤎 You were out like a light afterward
🤎 It wasn't until that night that Sevika started to get worse with hiding her feelings for you
🤎 She was taking you on more...friend dates
🤎 Buying you flowers because she knew you liked them and "I know you don't have anyone to get them for you right now, so..."
🤎 If you have a hobby like reading or maybe art, she's buying you new sketchbooks and supplies or she's getting you the newest editions of your favorites- all signed because hello??? she's that type of bitch fr
🤎 She gets you guys matching bracelets for your birthday after 2 years of friendship- yes, it's been that long now
🤎 Then comes Christmastime
🤎 You talked her a long time ago into doing Secret Santa with the peeps at the shop
🤎 She doesn't really see the hype, not having much experience with Christmas and it's traditions given her rocky relationship with her father, but she does it (only for you though)
🤎 This is the second annual Secret Santa for the shop
🤎 Just your luck, you don't end up getting Sevika like you wanted
🤎 That's okay though because Sevika got you
🤎 And you know she got you because of how much she's suddenly stressing the secret part of Secret Santa
🤎 Last year, she told you who she had gotten immediately, the two of you picking out your gifts for your respective people together and everything
🤎 Not this year
🤎 This year she doesn't tell anyone, not you, not anybody in the shop- and you know it, you asked around about it
🤎 She racking her brain trying to decide what to get you
🤎 Doesn't help that you're starting to render her useless
🤎 You're catching her spacing out while staring at you more often
🤎 She gets this fuzzy feeling and this misty look in her eyes whenever you're around
🤎 You kinda have an idea that she likes you back, you play into it
🤎 6 months ago, you had started returning her actions- buying her little gifts, making her lunch everyday because she'd forgotten one so many times that now she 'doesn't even have to worry about it', you plan a few friend dates yourself, you cuddle up to her more often whenever you two have your annual movie nights every week
🤎 It's all making her think maybe you know, but...last she checked you kinda liked someone
🤎 You hadn't told her who, even though you knew it was her, but in her mind she was competing with whoever this mystery crush was
🤎 She just wants you to look at her the way she looks at you
🤎 Back to Secret Santa though
🤎 The Christmas party is fast approaching and you still have no clue what the hell you're gonna do to figure out what Sevika's gotten you since you know she's your Santa this year
🤎 You've tried begging, bribing, snooping, everything at this point
🤎 She's keeping her lips locked tighter than a chastity belt at this point
🤎 The party is being hosted at Sevika's penthouse this year
🤎 You aren't allowed to help set up
🤎 You are not happy about that fact
🤎 "Relax, sweets...can't have you snooping in the gifts while we put them under the tree. You might accidentally see whatever your Santa got for you," she teased, running her finger playfully down your cheek
🤎 It was a trick. Your gift is in fact not under the tree
🤎 You decide to play her at her own game
🤎 If she wants to flirt and do all of this stuff for you, you'll do a little something for her as well
🤎 Everybody knows Sevika's got a thing for your body
🤎 You two are best friends
🤎 Best friends.
🤎 You know...those best friends that share a bed like they're a married couple
🤎 The touchy ones that make people question if they're actually secretly in a relationship
🤎 She's never shy about grabbing or smacking your ass- I mean you aren't shy about doing the same to her so it's fair
🤎 The two of you will regularly poke each other’s breasts in passing 
🤎 Whenever she’s driving you to you guys’ “friend dates”, she has to hold your thigh- will 100% make up some lie that it’s for your safety (“How does you caressing my thigh make me safer, Sev?” “You’re asking too many questions here, sweets. Do you want me to move it?” “.....no.” “Then let’s ride.”) 
🤎 So, with all of that known, you decided to show off said body for the party tonight 
🤎 You wore a form fitting dress that was advertised as a sexy Mrs. Claus dress 
🤎 The soft fabric clung to your body like it was practically painted on, the cute little fur trimmings not helping cover the fact that the hem stopped right at your mid-thigh 
🤎 The spaghetti straps and plunging neckline were hidden underneath your dramatic (faux) fur coat 
🤎 You topped it all off with a Santa hat and your matching bracelet Sev had gotten you 
🤎 Needless to say she wanted nothing more than to see what you had on under that coat when you were the last to arrive to party- a detail you made sure you kept since she refused to let you come over to help with set up for the party 
🤎 Her jaw actually dropped when you finally did take your coat off 
🤎 You teasingly closed her mouth, smirking almost knowingly at her, “You’ll catch flies, hotshot.” 
🤎 She’s flustered all night 
🤎 Not only because you seem to be genuinely flirting with her, but because she knows what she has in store for you
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Sevika was a bundle of nerves every time you looked up to catch her staring at you. You were drinking a glass of champagne, talking to...someone...she didn’t know, she was too busy looking at you to figure out which of her employees you were fraternizing with at the moment. 
The time to exchange gifts couldn’t come any sooner for her. 
She had been trying to work up the courage to just tell you that she’s in love with you for weeks now, and you with your games weren’t making it any easier. 
You’d take all her gifts with such a grateful smile, throwing your arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek, but then the very next day you were talking about your mystery crush again. 
You hadn’t said anything to the effect that you didn’t like all the advances she had been making, so she knew you at least felt...something for her...but she needed you to know exactly what she felt for you. 
You looked up to catch her looking at you again, throwing her a bright smile before you excused yourself from conversation with Danny and his girlfriend who’s name you forgot the second he’d introduced her, moving across the living room to go talk to her, “Hey you.” 
Boy if you could feel the way her heart was pumping and how sweaty her hands were the second you walked up. 
It took her a few moments- which you noticed- to find her voice, but she managed to smile back at you, “Hey yourself, Ms. Social butterfly. You’ve talked to everyone already.” 
You gave a soft shrug, “I mean, it’s not that hard to talk to them, I do work with them all, save for the people who brought their partners. Besides, I haven’t talked to you yet, hence why I’m over here.” 
“Hm, true, true....How come you didn’t bring your little secret crush? Not serious enough for that yet?” 
If only you know, huh? 
You gave a half-hearted shrug, “It’s...complicated.” 
“I see. W-” before she could continue, the alarm on her watch went off, signaling that it was time to exchange gifts. 
Seeing as she was hosting this year (you had hosted last year), she was in charge of pulling every gift from under the tree and giving them to whoever’s name was on them, that person then trying to guess who bought their gift. 
You didn’t get anything. 
There’s no way you couldn’t have been chosen. And no one else had gotten their gift from Sevika. 
With everyone else focused on their gifts, she pulled you aside into the kitchen, once again fdgety and nervous, “So...” 
“So?” 
“About your gift....before I....before I give it to you...I have to say a couple of things....” 
“Yeah?” 
She looked at you for a few moments, you could see her contemplating in her mind what she wanted to say. 
She had spent hours in her mirror rehearsing this moment, yet now that it was here, she couldn’t remember a single word she had wanted to say to you. 
She blinked as your hand came up to cup her cheek, “Huh?” 
You gave a soft chuckle, stroking your thumb over her skin, “I said what’s wrong? You’ve been acting all weird with me all night. You’re nervous. Just tell me, babes, you know I’ll love whatever it is, especially if it’s from you.” 
That did not help her calm down. 
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking back to you again, “Okay, so...I know that we’ve been really good friends for....a while now....but lately I’ve been thinking and....I....I like you...you’re nice...and you’ve managed to make 2 years feel more like 20...so...what I’m trying to say is that I....I’m-” 
Your lips pressing to her cheek in a fleeting kiss cut her off as she stared at you baffled, sputtering. 
You giggled again when she couldn’t come up with something to say, pointing above her head, “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.” 
She looked up to find herself standing underneath a sprig of mistletoe. Her cheeks flamed red as she looked away, pulling a small box out of the pocket of her slacks, “Here.” 
You eyed her for a few seconds before opening the box, gasping softly at the necklace inside. 
You knew that necklace anywhere. 
She told you about it the first time you slept over at her place. 
She had drawn up the design years ago, saying she was going to get it made when she fell in love with a girl. 
You were not emotionally prepared for more than a n ‘i like you’ tonight. 
Neither was your makeup when you started crying. 
She looked up worriedly, “You don’t like it....” she mumbled under her breath, sounding so unbelievably hurt. 
“No, Sev....I love it.....I love you.....” 
“You do?” 
You chuckled through your tears, “Yes, you idiot. Who’d you think my secret crush was? I thought you would’ve gotten it when I said ‘she brought me flowers yesterday’, but instead you brought me an even bigger bouquet the next day as if you weren’t the only person that had gotten me flowers.” 
She rolled her eyes, “Look, I just knew that I really, really liked you, and if I had to compete with someone else to show you how I felt, so be it.” 
“You’re cute.” 
“And you look like a drowned rat, stop crying sweets and let me put the damned thing on for you.” 
You rolled your eyes, turning around anyway as she took the dainty necklace to clasp it around your neck. You punched her in the shoulder, “That’s for saying I look like a drowned rat.” 
She took the jab in stride, pulling you closer to her as she lifted your chin with her other hand, “You’re the prettiest little drowned rat I’ve ever seen...” 
You bit your lip, looking away, “You’re gay.” 
“As are you, your point?” 
“My poi-” 
“Look at me when you talk, sweets.” 
She knew what the fuck she was doing. 
Even still, you brought your eyes back to hers, your voice soft as you whispered breathily, “I love you...” 
“I love you too....” 
“So....” 
“So?” 
“What now?” 
She looked back up to the mistletoe above her head, pulling you forward so that it was over you now, “I show you how to actually kiss under the mistletoe.” 
Kissing Sevika was instantly your new favorite thing. 
She tastes like bourbon and cigar smoke with a hint of cinnamon. 
Her hands went straight to your hips, pulling you flush against her, her lips were surprisingly really soft- you had yourself to thank for that for helping her “discover” lip balm- sucking you in and drawing all the air from your lungs. 
You had a giddy almost drunken smile as she smirked down at you, “I think that may be my new favorite tradition.” 
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🤎©️ All work belongs to sexysapphicshopowner. Do not use or repost my content in any way without my consent or permission. Thank you! 🤎
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🤎 Taglist 🤎:
@certainlynotasimp @trafalgardvivi @love-sugarr
173 notes · View notes
queen-of-reptiles · 6 months
Text
𝚆𝙰𝚅𝙴𝚂
description: In which Denmark's star girl in swimming has always been very outgoing, which has always made her so popular, especially when she talks about her crushes...
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sofia lundgaard x female reader
disclaimer: I am in now way saying sofia is bi-sexual or lesbian, this is all fiction
warnings: language, bad google translation, also just fluff
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y/n just posted on her story
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interview
"Hi y/n, welcome to London!" Marie, the interviewer said.
"Thank you! I am really enjoying looking around." y/n said smiling, her bright smile as sweet as always as they got straight into the interview.
"Well, obviously you are wonderous, three golds at the Worlds already this year, I mean being 19 and so talented, what is that like?" Marie asked.
"Very, very stressful." y/n said with a laugh and the group watching her laughed a little too.
"I bet." Marie nodded.
"I think also, because I am naturally quite a happy person, it seems to have shown during interviews and cameras so now I feel like I cannot be angry or upset, because everyone expects something else from me." y/n explained and Marie nodded.
The interview continued for a bit, until Marie got to her final section, smiling at the young girl who hadn't stopped making the room chuckle since she stepped foot in it.
"And finally, we know you are a big football fan, you have talked about it a lot, who is your favourite player?" Marie asks.
"I think that such a hard question because I like so many players for so many reasons, but I mean Sofie Lundgaard, she's fantastic. Also, pretty, Sofie, I'm single." y/n said.
She looked toward the second camera as she spoke, making everyone laugh again before the interview wrapped up.
"Oh my! She knows who I am?" Sofie asks as she looks up from the video, tearing her eyes from the stunning girl as Rachel snorted, used to the Danish girl's obsession with the swimmer.
"Yep." Yana grins, popping the 'p' with her lips.
"Great, she'll be unbearable now." Missy sighs as the group walk out to warm up on the pitch, Sofie stuck her tongue out at her friend, leaving over to push her when Yana spat out some water.
Both Missy and Sofie shrieked, jumping out of the way but Yana was focussed on something in the stands, and when Sofie and Missy turned they both gasped.
y/n was sat happily in the stands, talking to one of her friends who must have come over from Denmark with her for the few days of interviews she had.
Sofie's eyes had doubled in size as she took in the gorgeous girl, smooth skin and sweet dimples which had appeared as she threw her head back, laughing at her friend.
"Come on love bird." Missy sighed and Sofie tore her eyes away as they began to run.
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twitter/X
username1: is anyone at the Liverpool women game rn cause Sofie just looked at y/n like she was an angel and I am freaking out because of it
^
username2: AND THEY WAY y/n is looking at her? Like she's so amazing... I am going to cry this is so cute
^
username3: AND AFTER Y/N'S INTERVIEW??????
^
username4: Sofie better shoot her shot, or I will do it for her!
^
username5: We don't know if Sofie is even into it though???
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y/n just posted
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liked by, sofiielundgaard, daniels_yana and 398, 279 others
tagged liverpoolwfc and y/f/n
y/n just one chance, please...
view all 13, 287 comments
username1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 😂😂😂
^
username2: no shame
daniels_yana: @sofiielundgaard...
username3: Sofie was a bit quick to like there
username4: y/n is so cute omg 😭😍😍
username5: the way she was cheering in game was so cute i wanted to cry !!!
username6: I spoke to her during half-time and SHE WAS SO SWEET and gave me some gum! 🥹
username7: not even trying to hide it! 😭
y/f/n: she cried when we got back to the hotel, she was too excited...
^
y/n: stfu 😑
liverpoolwfc: Thank you for your support! Loved having you!! ❤️
^
y/n: Thanks for the invite! ❤️
^
username8: Liverpool admin tryna love island it up???
sofiielundgaard: Tak for din støtte! Helt sikkert hjulpet!
thanks for your support! Definitely helped!
^
y/n: elskede at se jer alle!
loved watching you all
^
sofiielundgaard: xxx
^
username9: OMG
username10: this girl forgets she is a public figure and I love it so much 😂
see more comments...
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y/n just posted on her story
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Sofie sat laughing with her teammate Yana as they answered questions for an interview which would go on the Youtube channel, Yana grinning evilly when asked what Sofie liked to watch as a test of their friendship.
"Sofie here is really into her swimming, you, patriot for Denmark and all that." Yana grins. "Though, with how many competitions of a certain Denmark swimmer she watches, I don't know... Maybe it's not the swimming." Yana hums.
"Shut up!" Sofie hisses but the crew had already begun to laugh, causing Sofie to groan and throw her head against the table with a thump.
Yana grins evilly at the camera before feeling a little bad for the blonde and rubbing her back kindly as Sofie leans back up and sighs.
"What can I say? I love my home country." She hums and this again causes everyone to burst out laughing.
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twitter/X
username1: The way this plot thickens with every turn!
^
username2: Sofie admitting she likes watching swimming then Yana being an angel and spilling the true tea
^
username3: loveeeee Yana sm omg 😍😂
username4: I did feel bad for Sofie though, she looked so embarrassed 😩
^
username5: yeah same...
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username6: She will have let them put that in tho, like they would have removed it if she really wanted
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username5: VERYYYYY true 😶
^
username7: omg that is such a good point!!
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y/n took a deep breath in, her limbs weightless as they floated around her, the swimmer took another deep breath before pushing of the wall and beginning to swim down toward the other side.
The pool she had found was not busy, maybe because it was half six on a Sunday morning. But y/n could never go a few days without swimming, the water was more home than ground was.
y/n did several lengths before she came to a stop, head popping up before she pushed herself underneath the water, using the side to hold her underneath.
The world quietened and blurred above her, the water for that minute, kept her safe. However, she hadn't taken a deep enough breath for longer than a minute and a half, and so pushed herself back up and to sit on the side.
y/n sat quietly, regulating her breath once more as she watched her feet in the water, her braided hair now heavy against her suit clad back.
It was only after a minute, did y/n realise she was no longer alone. She turned her head, looking in the next lane, where to her surprise, Sofie Lundgaard was, head lent back and eyes shut as she floated for a moment in the water.
Her muscled shoulder tensed as she kept herself afloat, and y/n suddenly felt very hot as she lowered herself back into the water to try and ignore the woman beside her.
"Ingen er her normalt på dette tidspunkt." Sofie hummed as she looked back up.
no one is usually here at this time.
"Jeg bliver stort set sindssyg, hvis jeg ikke svømmer i et par dage." y/n admitted with a soft laugh.
I pretty much go insane if I don't swim for a few days.
"Really?" Sofie asked, not overly aware she had slipped into English.
"Yeah, more at home in the water than on land mum used to say." y/n smiled softly relaxing back, her eyes darted up to the clock, showing 6:48.
Sofie and y/n didn't talk much for the new few minutes, an occasional comment or question with an answer would be thrown, but for a bit they just swam side by side, enjoying the feeling of one another's company.
When the clock hit 7:30, y/n sighed and slid up the pool side. Sofie gulped and looked away from the muscled arms which tensed as they pushed y/n from the water.
y/n smiled at Sofie, nodding as she grabbed her towel and walked toward the changing rooms, but as she went to leave the room she changed her mind.
"Would you like to get breakfast?" y/n asked as she turned to face Sofie.
"Thought you would never ask." The blonde grinned and pushed herself out of the water as well.
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y/n just posted on their story
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sofiielundgaard just posted on her story
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y/n hummed as she prepared for her final race of the day, it was just a friendly, Denmark's best against each other, but that did not mean she was not prepared.
She had gotten back to Denmark a week ago, after spending three weeks in London, a trip which had lengthened for no specific reason.
She heard the call, the shot and then she dived as soon as she hit the water, y/n knew, she knew she had won, because she was away suddenly.
She pulled ahead, a good few strokes from everyone else, she turned and pushed again, knowing this one was only two lengths. Which after a week of long racing was nice to think.
She pulled ahead further, the commentator shocked as anything as she slammed her hand on the wall, sighing in relief as she pulled herself up, shocked at the way her coach had paused.
"Hvad?" She asked him.
what?
"Hvad?" She asked again, pulling a towel around her body to keep her warm. Her coach just turned her body and pointed to two letters next to her name.
DR
Danish Record.
y/n let out a yell of shock, her fellow swimmers running over to congratulate her as she slammed her hand over her mouth, eyes trying to find someone, who once they had been found grinned wildly.
y/n grinned back, looking briefly at the pool before grabbing her coach and fellow swimmers, the group all jumping in, her coach slightly begrudgingly.
Breaking records was something y/n had been doing from the age of 14, and every time she did, she would jump into the pool. But y/n had just been thrown into today's race as a back up, almost as a joke.
Because breaststroke was not her stroke, but she had somehow just broken a Danish record with it. How? She didn't know nor care as she and her fellow swimmers sunk into the waves of blue, being watched by a very proud blonde.
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y/n just posted
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liked by, sofiielundgaard, pharder10 ans 401, 766 others
tagged sofiielundgaard
y/n note to self, always go for half six swimming sessions...
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sofiielundgaard just posted
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liked by, daniels_yana, y/n and 218, 736 others
tagged y/n
sofiielundgaard You know, I don't think I watch swimming for the sport... 🤷‍♀️
comments disabled.
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twitter/X
username1: HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH I REPEAT HARD FUCKING LAUNCH 😭😭
username2: 'I don't think I watch swimming for the sport' hahahahah 😂
username3: FUCK YESSSSSS
username4: I feel like we have Yana to thank for this.
^
daniels_yana: You do 😌
^
username5: OMG
see more comments...
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END
kay bois, struggled with this one, won't lie - so what do you we think???
love ya'll!
-
Queenie!
172 notes · View notes
kittenhypnotized · 7 months
Text
welcome to my bimblog!!! :3
minors, sissy and detrans blogs dni ♡ dont ask for pics pls, im not comfy with that
i post about my kinks here, so itll be mostly hypnosis, brainwashing, dumb/bimbo/objectification and a few others
im a trans aroace lesbian!!!
my public triggers!! pls use them!!! (or give me more :3c)
TREAT - makes me feel pleasure and happyness and you can modify the strenght of it from 1 to 10
SHOCK - makes me feel an electric shock coming from my collar and you can modify the strenght of it from 1 to 10
saying something like *this* makes me feel it as if it was happening irl
saying something like [this] makes me say it in my head like it was my thought in the first place, and i wont know you sent the message
SLEEP - puts me in a light trance, saying it more times makes me go deeper
Horny: - will make me horny for a bit depending on a % of your choice from 0 to 100 (CANT GO OVER 100 OR BELOW 0)
Obey: - i will obey any command said after the trigger unless im uncomfortable with it
LOOP - will make me repeat the last sentence i said until you say RELEASE (ONLY WORKS IN DMS)
FREEZE - my mind and body will completely freeze until you say UNFREEZE, you may move my body around with the *this* trigger and i will not remember anything that happened while i was frozen
MIND WIPE - i will become completely mindless and obedient, you can give me new triggers while in that state (i wont add them to this list and you have to remember to reinforce them if you want them to stay)
ADAPT - saying it after a phrase will make me believe its 100% true for some time (you dont get to control how long it lasts)
Run: and Stop: will run these programs on me
Bimbo.sys while active, i will become a dumb horny bimbo
Reboot.exe will cause my brain to reboot when its run
Cow.sys, Kitty.sys, and Puppy.sys turn me into a cow, a kitty, or a puppy respectively
Paws.sys when active my hands will look and feel like paws
Dummy.sys whenever its active i will become dumber that ive ever been, even so dumb that it will be hard to talk
TitSlave.sys will turn me into a slave for tits
Clear.exe stops all programs and returns me to my normal default state when run
my kinks (might add or delete some over time):
hypnosis
brainwashing
mouth play
bimbofication
petplay
dumbification
objectification
dronification
praise
light degradation
gaslighting
intox play
cnc
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scoopstomyahoy · 10 months
Text
i’ve seen a couple lavender marriage stobin posts, but what about lavender dating stobin?
they’re both way too young to get married — robin’s parents especially would be shocked, and, well, steve’s parents would just be shocked by his choice. but maybe when robin goes back to school after summer ‘85, all the girls in her grade are asking how she possibly landed steve the hair harrington.
and she’s soooo sick of it. she’s sick of telling someone that they aren’t dating and getting asked the same question by another girl the very next period. she’s sick of the way they treat steve like a prize to be won and not a human being and let’s be honest, a dingus. and she’s sick of the way everyone is scandalized by the thought of him dating HER because at some point, it kind of just hurts her feelings!
and she goes on a rant one day in front of a whole group of people about how basically, none of them ever stood a chance with steve, because they didn’t see who he really was and they didn’t treat him the way he deserved to be treated and she could totally land a hottie like him if she actually wanted to, for the record, and that she’s sick of everyone harassing her over it and making her (and steve) feel like zoo animals behind thick glass.
and everyone is staring at her, and oops, she didn’t say they were dating, but these normies wouldn’t understand the concept of platonic soulmates even if she tried to explain it. so they all think she’s dating steve.
“everyone thinks we’re dating, steve,” she grumbles when he picks her up from school that day. and, well, she wonders what could possibly have given them the impression that they were dating, when he picks her up from school like he does every day, and tosses her a little candy bar, the kind she likes, probably because he saw it at the gas station and thought she’d want it and just. bought it. because he loves her.
steve looks at her. “uh, yeah?”
because this is not actually news. dustin has been convinced they’re dating for months, and she’s been complaining about the kids at school for weeks.
“no, like, they really believe we’re dating now.” she cringes. “uhh. i might have said something that implied we were.”
steve snorts.
“not on purpose!” she cries.
steve snorts again. “doofus.”
“shut up, dingus. it’s a problem! i was, you know, defending your honor—” a third snort “—and i just didn’t deny our relationship like i normally do, and everyone took that as— admission.” her hands fly around her as she talks.
steve is silent. she looks at him. he’s thinking. hard.
“well,” he says, “that wouldn’t be… the worst thing. right?”
“what.”
“i just mean, if we were dating—”
“LESBIAN, steve!” robin points to herself.
“i know! i know, jeez-us. if everyone thought we were dating, like, actually, that could solve some of our problems.”
“explain.”
“like, i keep striking out, but that’s ‘cause i’m not really interested in hooking up with girls who aren’t looking for anything serious anymore. and you said i should try to be single for a while, ‘be comfortable with my own company’ or whatever—”
“it’s healthy!”
“sure! yeah, whatever! so i could be single with you, and you, you could, you know, you’d be a little safer. i could be your… goatee.”
“beard.”
“that.”
“although, i don’t know, maybe for lesbians it is a goatee.”
“rob, we’re getting off topic. my point is, we could… we could be dating.”
robin considers it. “you want to fake date.”
“not like, actually fake date. like, i’m not taking you to the diner and sharing a milkshake with two straws after we see the latest john hughes.”
“steve, we have literally done exactly that.”
“oh. right.”
“wait,” robin says, “wait wait wait. we have literally done exactly that.”
“right,” steve says.
“steve, are we…. are we already fake dating?”
it’s steve’s turn to consider it. “wait, are you the reason i keep striking out?”
“hey!”
“kidding!”
anyway. they talk it out a bit more, and robin warms up to the idea. because steve isn’t wrong, she would be safer if people thought she had a boyfriend. she had never dated a boy before. and dustin might lay off of steve for a little bit if steve admits he was right. (steve groans, loudly, at the idea of ever admitting to the little genius that he’s right.) and they don’t have to make some huge announcement to the world, posting it on the school’s bulletin board for everyone to see.
but maybe robin would stop getting weird looks in the locker room if she had a boyfriend to prove people wrong.
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