#this is 2.5K words?? what??

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

Well, I want in.

13 & 18 my darling Dani. With the prettiest of pleases. And I don’t even care who you do (yes even prongfoot or snirius but the cringe is great and mountainous)

okay so since i am……a complete dyslexic dumbass…..i somehow misread the prompt numbers by one? and i am only now realising these are actually 12 and 17 instead of 13 and 18? but i already wrote it so you will have to accept them (youre welcome to send me another one as an apology tho (like, as me apologising to you - you do not owe me an apology))

(also no great mountainous cringe for you today, i did wolfstar feat. jegulus for you. this is a 2-in-1 package deal) (also i wrote half of that to the song you sent me and the other half to MSI)

12. Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over? + 17. Who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

Send me an OTP question from the list and a ship and I’ll respond with a drabble.

-

James glances around the dark backyard, its emptiness amplified even further by the thick layers of white snow covering everything around them. It’s criminally cold outside, to the point that even the usual warming charms they use on the go do not work anymore to chase away this kind of frost.

“I’m telling you, Reg, it’s a bad idea.” He says and brings up his hands to rub them together, breathing out a cloud of warm air onto his frozen palms. “Sirius doesn’t just cancel plans last-minute like this, something must have happened.” The warm breath out of his mouth rises up to his glasses, clouding his vision with hot steam.

“I don’t care, James, they promised us dinner.” Regulus reaches out to take off his glasses, wipes them on the hem of his robes, and runs a quick spell on the glass of the spectacles before gently sliding them back up his nose. “And Sirius’ ideas are bad all the time anyway, I’m allowed to have one bad idea every once in a while.” He turns back to the door and knocks with the bottom of his fist, much more loudly and forcefully than last time. “Open up, we’re freezing out here, you animals!”

There is finally a sign of life from inside, voices and a sound of feet shuffling downstairs before the door is thrown open and Sirius appears in the doorway. Besides a black jumper and jeans, he is wearing a deep frown on his face, glaring down at them like they are a chorus of children asking for donations on Christmas for the seventh time in one evening. He looks mostly tired.

“Hello,” Regulus tilts his head to the side and gives his brother a wide smile. “Next time you keep me out in the cold like this, I’m blowing the door out.” He pushes underneath Sirius’ arm, which is blocking the passage with the way it’s rested against the other side of the wall, and unceremoniously makes his way inside.

Sirius watches him as he does, but does not say anything. Once Regulus is inside, he turns to James.

“Prongs,” He raises a hand to run it through his hair. “don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here?”

James offers him a sheepish smile. “Reg said that if you ask me that, I get to blame everything on him.” He steps forward to pull Sirius into a hug before getting inside. He can feel the tension in his shoulders when he does, although Sirius does return the embrace and steps aside to let him in.

“Reg, I understand that you are a big, pretentious douchebag with no concept of personal space,” he grumbles as they both make their way over to the kitchen of their house, where Regulus has already dropped off his snow-covered coat and is now busy rummaging through the cabinets, “and I respect that, but this is a really bad time.”

“You are about to have a really bad time if I don’t eat.” Regulus yells back from the kitchen.

The commotion draws attention from upstairs and Remus comes down to join them, hair a little dishevelled and the same frown in place that is still present on Sirius’ face as well. “James?” He asks, a little puzzled, just before his eyes wander over to Regulus.

James grins at him and raises his hand in greeting. “Our portkey point was around here, so we thought we would stop by before we head home.” He explains apologetically. “We can go if we’re interrupting, it’s not--”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Regulus cuts him off as he pulls out a half empty box of cereal from one of the cabinets, grimacing in disgust at the packaging before shoving it back inside, “we are staying, they owe us a dinner.”

Remus turns to face Sirius and his eyebrow raises in a silent statement. He nods his head in Regulus’ direction subtly, and Sirius grunts loudly, leaning back against the counter behind him.

“What do you want me to do?” He asks in irritation. “They’re already here.”

“This is exactly what we talked about.” Remus says impatiently. “You have no boundaries.”

“I told them not to come today, they just showed up!” Exclaims Sirius in return, throwing his arm up in the air as he gestures at James next to him.

“Because you allow it!”

“What was I supposed to do, leave them outside?”

“Yes!”

“No!”

James uses the opportunity to slide away from between them while he remains unnoticed and joins Regulus, who is now crouched down by the freezer, studying the contents of it with a careful concentration on his face.

He pulls out a long plate with a row of frozen lamb ribs in it. “How about some ribs on the grill?” He drops the plate on top of the counter and goes for the fridge next. “With some..” he pauses, eyes scanning the insides of the appliance methodically, “mashed potatoes and asparagus. Merlin, these two really need help with their shopping, there aren’t even any mushrooms in here.”

“My friends don’t show up here unannounced whenever they feel like it.” Remus goes on, the accusation in his tone growing as they keep arguing.

“Sounds like a plan.” James agrees. He snaps his fingers at the utensils drawer to float the necessary tools out of it while Regulus performs a thawing charm on the frozen ribs. “I’ll start on the potatoes and the salads.”

“Your friends? What friends do you even have, Remus? We have the same friends, James is your friend as much as he’s mine--”

“Oh, come on, now you’re just being a cunt.”

Regulus gives them both a funny look. “Let it be stated for the record that I am friends with none of you. I only have unfortunate family ties in this room.”

“Go freeze to death.” Sirius snaps at him harshly at the same time Remus turns his head to say, “Shut it, Regulus.”

Regulus pushes his bottom lip out in a mock-offended pout and turns to gaze at James sadly. “They are being mean to me.”

James smiles despite himself and reaches out a hand to ruffle the other’s hair gently. “You should probably leave them alone unless you’re actually trying to get us kicked out.”

Regulus leans into the touch. His gaze wanders back over to the bickering pair. “What’s their deal anyway?” he asks with a click of his tongue.

James shrugs his shoulder. “They fought about something before we got here.”

Regulus stares off at the wall thoughtfully for a moment, then turns to address his brother again. “When was the last time you had sex? That usually solves--” James hurries to quickly slap a hand over his mouth.

“See?” Remus exclaims pointedly, turning to look at Sirius. “No fucking boundaries. Either of you three.”

Sirius lets out a low bark of laughter. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”

Remus’ eyes narrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 Regulus arches an eyebrow and turns to face James once more. “Are they arguing about boundaries? Them, seriously?”

James tunes out the rest of their argument to focus on the dinner instead. Regulus works swiftly and methodically, and he is even faster when he is hungry, which is very fortunate because while James hates to be the kind of person to diminish other people’s problems, he can not help but agree that sometimes certain grudges just go away on their own if you sit two people down in a warm living room and shove a bit of well-cooked food down their throats. The human body is just magical like that sometimes.

“If you ask me,” Regulus says, lowering his voice to half a whisper when they sit down at the table after the ribs have been seasoned and pushed into the oven to cook. “All they really need is some hot, steamy shower sex and a plate of hot grilled ribs.”

James pulls up the kettle at the centre of the table to pour them both a mug of chai. “Before or after the ribs?”

“Before, obviously.” Regulus deadpans, offering him a grateful nod when James slides the mug over to his side. “Food is best after sex.”

“Mmm.” James feels his lips curl up in a smirk as he brings up the cup to his lips. “Now you’re just giving me ideas on purpose.”

“Can you two stop being gross all over our dining table,” Sirius says with a grimace as he flops down on a chair across from them. The argument seems to have died down a little by now, but the heavy atmosphere still hangs in the air between them. “I’m about to throw up, thank you.”

Regulus watches his brother for a moment, the mug pressed between his fingers tightly. He looks over to James, gestures at Sirius with his eyes and raises his eyebrows in question. James gives him a subtle nod, to which Regulus blinks slowly in confirmation.

“I shall go check on the ribs.” Regulus announces loudly, pushing himself up from the table. I’ll talk to Lupin, he mouths at James wordlessly over his shoulder before leaving him and Sirius alone at the table.

James’ eyes wander over to Sirius, watching him as he drums his fingers against the surface of the table impatiently, eyes staring off at an unfocused point on the wall across from him. James sighs and reaches out a hand to close it over Sirius’.

“What is this about, Pads? Really.”

Sirius exhales slowly through his nose. He shuts his eyes and raises a hand to run it through his hair in a nervous gesture. “I don’t know, it’s not really… about anything, you know? It’s just..” He huffs out a sigh, averting his gaze to the window beside them. The snow keeps pouring on, covering everything in a dirty shade of white.

“Everything.” James agrees with a nod. “I know.” And he knows from the heavy look in Sirius’ eyes that he also knows.

It’s not a secret that the past few years after the war have been tough on all of them. And while it seems like it was such a long time ago, these things have a tendency to stick, to a point he could never even imagine to himself. Grieving people does not really have an expiration date on it, and apparently neither do the legal trials at the Supreme Wizarding Court.

Even Regulus’ trial, which was by far not as controversial as many of the others, like Bellatrix’ and Malfoy’s, was still dragged out into years and years of unending hearings, publicised in a way that should have never been allowed in the first place. The Ministry insisted on milking every last drop out of their stories, until Sirius was prepared to actually march down to the Minister’s office himself and threaten to set fire to the entire building if they don’t stop this absurd charade.

They were all promised a clean sheet, an opportunity to start over and change the society they live in, secure a better environment than the one they grew up in for kids at Hogwarts, a stronger support system for kids from non-magical families, better laws and conditions for marginalised groups in the wizarding world; werewolves, goblins, elves.

But what they were not told was that nothing came without a price, and that after all the fighting they’ve already done, most of it was still ahead of them, and nobody was going to give it to them that easily. Sirius was very vocal about his opinions in favour of the disbandment of the Beasts Unit and complete reform of the Registry, which did not always draw the most positive of attention.

All in all, it was not easy for either of them. Sometimes things just boiled over and got the best of them. James knows it for a fact because he and Regulus used to fight about that too, all the time. They still do, although it’s been getting better.

“How’s Harry?” Sirius asks suddenly.

James looks up to meet his eye. “With his mum and Mary. They have that thing in Ireland next month, so he’s staying with them this week instead.” He glances at the snow storm outside for a moment before returning his gaze back to Sirius. His fingers are still dancing against the table restlessly, drumming out an anxious melody.

“You know, Pads.. he’s not really upset about anything you said or did. It’s more about.. It’s frustrating. When these things get to us. Because it’s supposed to be us against them, you know? And instead here we are, fighting with each other over minor bullshit. It feels like losing to them.”

Sirius watched him for a long moment. “Yeah, I know.” He says quietly. “I hate that.” He admits, and James can hear the strain in his voice when he says that. “I will burn down the Ministry one day, mark my words.”

James feels his lips curl up in a smirk despite himself. “Just don’t forget to call me.”

There is a noise from upstairs and Regulus makes his way back into the kitchen, followed by Remus shortly after. James quickly excuses himself from the table under the alibi of having to help Regulus set the table, but more with the intent of leaving Remus and Sirius alone to talk for a minute than anything else.

“Sorry for yelling.” Sirius says quietly after a moment of silence between them when Remus lowers himself down into the chair across from him, eyes fixated on his own hands.

Remus raises his gaze to meet the other’s. “Sorry for calling you a cunt.”

Sirius blinks at him, then a small smile tugs at his lips. “Yeah, that was a bit uncalled for. You’ve been spending way too much time with my brother lately.”

Remus mirrors the smile. “Oh, yeah, and whose fault is that, Padfoot?”

Sirius rolls his eyes at him, but there’s a hint of affection in it. He gets up from his seat and hops over to take the chair next to Remus, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lips as he does so.

James does not realise he is staring until Regulus clears his throat next to him. “I think I also deserve a kiss for my matchmaking services.”

James turns to smile at him warmly. “Oh, you deserve a kiss regardless, love.” He reaches out a hand to wrap it around Regulus’ waist and pulls him closer against him, tilting his head in an angle to press a strong kiss to the other’s lips.

“So, you were saying ribs?” Sirius yells at them from the table.

Regulus clicks his tongue and begrudgingly pulls away. “Honestly, what would you do without us.” He grumbles.

#this is 2.5K words?? what?? #i enjoyed every second i am sobbing my heart hurts i love them so much precious babies #wolfstar feat jegulus is just......the ultimate go to dynamic i love them #this warms my soul #hope you enjoy this #wolfstar #jegulus #james x regulus #regulus x james #james/regulus #sirius x remus #sirius/remus #my writing

[stealingpotatoes]

just watched mando s3 it’s great that we TOTALLY had a whole season about din coming to grips with being mand’alor & life without grogu and about dueteragonist bo-katan coming to realise she was only trying to lead mand’alor bc of her sister not bc she thought she was the best leader. and the whole season centred around the theme of accepting who you really are even if you’re certain you’re something else and was about how heroes and leaders can come from anywhere, they don’t have to come from a special bloodline (a sorta thesis against the skywalker saga) and about the uniting power of grief and oppression. isn’t it great we had that instead of a season with no plot 

isn’t it great that there were no mando cameos in tbobf and mando season 3 started with him on a bounty, cringefailing at using the darksaber and stabbing himself but he did the job and got paid in a nubian starfighter (he wanted a razor crest but he’s injured so he doesnt argue much) which he then used to find his covert on the canyon planet. then he revealed to the armorer and paz that he had the darksaber which after some time leads to paz duelling din for the saber (without telling the others bc they dont know din has it) and din wins but its revealed he took his helmet off. he’s made apostate IN FRONT OF EVERYONE (EVERYONE!!) with only one IMPOSSIBLE chance of redemption (nobody can go to mandalore anymore!!) and has to leave and now has nothing — no child, no clan. so he does the only thing he can think to and goes to a green planet we’ve never seen before. he lands safely but still injured from his fight with Paz and not fully healed from the original injury he passes out. and the episode ends with a kid running over and telling another kid to call master skywalker

and sure episode 2 was the fanservice episode but its disney! we have to expect a marketable plushie cameo episode — except of course that didn’t mean it wasn’t plot relevant! din wakes up and we realise he’s at luke’s jedi academy and this is great n stuff we finally get to see luke in his prime teaching a whole bunch of students! and we get to see grogu happy and having fun with his kind (which makes din happy but miss his own covert). luke notices din has a saber himself (despite it being well-hidden — luke can sense it) and din admits he can’t use it and that he doesnt think it even belongs to him while luke shows him saber forms (but pretends its for his own training and not din’s bc din refuses to learn). they have a discussion and din reveals he came here bc he got kicked out and has no way to redeem himself bc there are no mines left and even then the planet’s poisonous. luke spouts some jedi stuff asking din if he’s certain and says blind certainty is the enemies of hope and progress or whatever (setting up the larger theme of identity certainty in the season). luke also points out that if they imps r there then they have to have some way of getting around the environment they caused. inspired and knowing grogu is safe here, din is ready to go redeem himself on mandalore. he says he’ll come to see grogu again and luke makes it clear that while attachments can’t get in front of duty, din is always welcome here <3 

episode 3 of course had din go to the ruins of mandalore to redeem himself, inspired by luke’s words about certainty he goes to the ruins of sundari, where he knows there was once living waters (the other option is the one surviving and imperial-controlled city, but he’s not that dumb). also bc the imps only hang around the cities so that must be where it's survivable. there’s some imperials about the edge of the city (not many) and he does have to subtly fight them but he gets spotted. he wins but he’s panicking bc during the fight his breathing system got hit but then he notices a plant growing. and he realises he’s not dying — the air isn’t poisonous anymore or whatever! so he turns off his failing life support and goes to the city. he explores the city and finds many remnants of mandalorian culture there in the small parts that survived. ash-covered murals, mostly-burnt toys, something that could have once been a palace. he finds a memorial to a duchess satine kryze and thinks huh like bo katan? (because of course the show wouldn’t ignore bo’s motivations) anyway after some slow but meaningful exploring (its quietness eerie, unlike the quietness of the previous stealth section) he manages to make his way below the city. he finds the mines, reads the inscription and then goes in. except of course its no longer shallow and he falls and he falls and he realises well fuck he’s gonna die. his life support got hit earlier and he doesnt have his jetpack he’s going to sink. but then in the darkness, a great looming eye opens and before din knows it, SOMETHING is throwing him out that sinking water. it had to have been a freak current right? he was hallucinating. surely a MYTHOSAUR didn’t just save him… those are all dead, only to return with a new age of mandalore! he shakes his head, ignores it, and collects the water with something new to bring to his people

episode 4 reintroduced us to old fan favourite bo katan in her depression girl era bc din shows up to her empty palace ready to help her take back mandalore… only to find her in a depression pit and— oh my god is she drunk??! she drops that her ppl left her bc she didn’t have the darksaber and din’s looking at the depression pit like. right. bc of the darksaber. he briefly tries to convince her to fight him for it but she’s like no you’ll throw the fight it won’t be true comba— oh no! explosion nearby bc looks like din wasn’t as careful as he thought and the imperials followed him to bo’s place so both of them have to fucking skeet outta there and bo’s home’s destroyed so din’s like hey come on let’s go to my people we can take back mandalore with them or smthn. so they head back to the covert, din reveals he’s no longer apostate and that mandalore isnt cursed it’s breathable + you can successfully walk on the surface now. this is however interrupted by a beast showing up and trying to kill some ppl. it almost kills paz’s son but din kills the beast first in his starfighter. anyway back to the conversation (now within the cave) and din’s trying to convince his clan that they can take back mandalore (with bo as leader) but none of them want to follow her or risk what few numbers they have left. dejected, din and bo make to leave again, but paz follows them out and is like ?? din you literally have the darksaber why didn’t you use it to get at least SOME of them to follow you and din’s like i don’t want people to follow me bc of a legend, if they follow me it has to be bc they want to and paz and bo r internally like wow damn. anyway paz then says he’ll always fight w din if needed bc he saved his son but if he wants the people to follow him they should try get some of the other clans to help so it looks less dangerous. so bo and din leave on their quest. also throughout this episode, we’re introduced to some random civilian in the reintegration program. its implied they worked with gideon and that they’re preparing for something, but we don’t get much more than that. 

episode 5 is the bo episode, this is where we explore her character, have her arc, and ya know really cover her motivations (bc disney would NEVER make it so her motivation is invisible unless you’d seen two other tv shows). din and bo head to where her clan is. they just want to see the clan but they end up being dragged into a b-plot about helping the local pacifist duchess (& duke). din tries to say no but bo-katan says smthn abt diplomacy. this quest initially doesn’t seem plot relevant but throughout bo opens up about her own pacifist duchess sister and she comes to realise how much of this quest has been about trying to live up to satine and not bc she thinks herself the best mand’alor. the thing she said abt diplomacy earlier, she reveals, is just a quote from her sister. anyway they’re finally able to go to bo’s old clan and she, now reinvigorated in accepting and knowing who she is and what she wants (no longer depression girl) challenges axe for leadership of the clan. she wins and in a speech is like we’re gonna retake unpoisonous mandalore by uniting the clans!! most agree but theyre like HOW are we supposed to convince the other clans? and it descends into insane yelling UNTIL a low hum and a black-white light falls over the group. silence falls. everyone looks on. high above his head, din is holding the darksaber (proudly!!) and he’s like we’ll unite them with this. but axe has to constantly be chatting shit and getting up from the floor where he got his ass whipped he’s like really???? you wanna follow him???? he doesn’t even have any mandalorian blood in him!!! and bo makes a great speech about blood doesn’t make a good leader what makes a good leader is knowing when to use your power. and then she’s like he is my mand’alor amen and kneels before him. everyone else follows and din awkwardly stands there still not fully accepting his role 

episode 6 was the great prep episode. we start with din and bo helping and getting a new tribe on their side and heading back to Concordia we realise they’ve got this HUGEEEE war camp of mandalorians!! there are so many clans with them now (except one, which din is really missing)!!!!! this episode mostly focuses on mandalorian culture and them training/ planning and din and bo trying to keep the clans from biting each other’s heads off. but this is interrupted when a small group of imperials try to pre-attack them (like they did w bo’s palace) but the mandos all manage to fight back and take them down, which then leads to a whole speech from din and bo about how mandalorians are all fighting but theyre united now in their grief and with this they can fight the empire. the b-plot of the episode comes back to that random civilian from episode 4 and whoomp turns out their plan was to BREAK MOFF GIDEON OUT OF JAIL!! shitttt!!!! oh no!! he’s back now, that’s gonna make their very decent plan to take back mandalore harder but they dont knowww (irony!)

episodes 7 and 8 were the battle of mandalore, woo! it had to be two episodes because it’s a taking whole occupied planet and not a single base, a pretty damn difficult task that definitely can’t be done by two single clans in like 40 minutes! there’s all those mini tiny bases scattered throughout the planet on the ruins (like din encountered in episode 3) AND more importantly there’s the one domed city that the imperials kept alive as their main base — which means they have to be careful, bc they can’t do any sort of aerial assault or great deal of damage to the imperials without also destroying the one surviving place for them to live. so the plan is smaller strike teams to go the bases plopped around the planet as a distraction and to stop reinforcements to the city while the main force surround the city and take it. the first city team (with din and bo) has to open up all the ports and stuff to allow the HUGE armies to get in. unfortunately this is in the main imp base in the centre of the city so they have to get there. (they’d prefer 2 strike teams but they can only spare 1) MOST of the mini-bases r meanwhile being successfully captured. the strike team gets to the centre to de-activate the port shielding n stuff and GASP! IT’S GIDEON!! FROM JAIL!! and he’s surrounded by fucking MANDO STORMTROOPERS and IN BESKAR ARMOUR oh no!! ambush!! he knew they’d have to go here to allow a full-scale assault! the small strike team at sundari also gets captured bc there were some mandotroopers there (they increased security post episode 3). episode 7 ends on a cliffhanger bc all seems lost and the strike team’s surrounded 

episode 8 starts straight off the cliffhanger and oh no they’re all gonna die gasp WHEN BAM fighting noises elsewhere, everyone’s confused, when paz’s voice crackles over din’s comm like hey bro! BC DIN’S CLAN FINALLY SHOWED UP TO HELP AND THEY WERE ABLE TO MAKE THAT SECOND STRIKE TEAM and in the confusion din & bo’s team take out the mandotroopers, gideon gets away. din and paz and the armorer come face to face and paz calls him mand’alor or smthn bc he’s also accepted it and they’re like woo let’s go now we can fight fr!! din heads to help lead the battle ig but bo’s like nah i have to end gideon for what he did to our planet. and din’s like well he’s wearing beskar armour so you’ll need this and gives her his beskar spear WHICH IS SYMBOLIC BC he’s finally giving up his other weapon and is going to solely use the darksaber!! he’s accepted who he is and is going to lead their ppl!! so yeah instead of having din fight gideon, who he already beat once, bo fights him and its incredibly cathartic. at sundari that strike team who got captured is also not looking great but MYTHOSAUR EX MACHINA COMES AND FUCKS UP THE IMPERIALS THERE (its returned!!). so big battle and gideon’s down and the darksaber DOESN’T get destroyed yay! afterwards they all vibe and they go to the forge and the armorer relights it and they proclaim din mand’alor fr and he accepts it and throne. sure he's still a BIT uneasy (mand'alor the reluctant anyone?) but he's not saying NOO now loll. yayyy!! AND THEN final scene is din returns to the jedi academy like hii thanks for ur advice u were right being blindly certain abt stuff is meh and leaves no room for hope. uh could i show grogu mandalore i promise i’ll bring him right back and it ends on din showing grogu the planet finally bc thats cute and fanservice

anyway isn’t it great this is exactly what happened, it’s all canon and definitely not the stealingpotatoes sequels canon continuity rewrite! 

#hot girls finally watch a show and then immediately sit down and make 2.5k words of a rewrite LOL #while having a fever! #mand'alor din djarin #potes wrotes #(ish) #the mandalorian s3 #mandalorian season 3 #IM NOT SAYING I COULD DO BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL WRITERS like i get they have very different circumstances to me n stuff w execs etc #but i did try to write this while considering what would make good/marketable tv not just what would make a solely good plot #im not gonna be one of those ppl who's never made a tv show but thinks she could do better than seasoned writers/directors lollll #this is lichrally me trying to make my accidental redo continuity work with s3 LMAO #its also messy as hell bc i wrote it in one sitting and its not a proper piece of writing. there r plot holes but i think less than og #actually if there r any problems im blaming my fever <3 #mandalorian s3 rewrite #the sswscc

[adidastain]

moron

90s trey parker x fem!reader (y/n)

warnings: angst, indirect sexual harassment, implied alcohol & drug use, smut (vaginal penetration), virginity loss, violence (trey gets smacked for being a a perv)

notes: first person perspective (I, me, my, etc.); the beginning is kind of rough so just bear with me. also this is a oneshot but oh my god why is it so fucking long; he looks like such a faggot in the image its so funny

word count: SEVEN THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED NINETY FOUR (7194)

—

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Trey responded, seemingly not wanting to risk getting any more messed up on another dare. His temples looked sweaty and his entire body was limp and relaxed, flush with the back of his chair. I, personally, was miles away. I was the only girl left at this party (if you could even call it a “party”; there were only about seven people at this point) and it was way too late for me to be awake. 

“What’s your ideal type?” Our friend, Dian, asked him. “Like the woman of your dreams.”

Matt laughed, keeping his eyes closed as he too was completely relaxed and almost melting into the couch. I kept my gaze on Trey, watching his lips curl into a devilish smile as he finished his thought process and formed an answer. 

“Virgin,” He said simply. Something about his tone and the way his face looked as he and the other guys laughed it out made my face burn up. Not in a good way. I wanted to shoot myself in the head.

Matt, Trey, and a few other guys all just chuckled, seemingly agreeing with each other. It was like I wasn’t even there. Granted, I barely was, and in their defense, none of them could have known that I myself had never had sex before. But I figured this was a conversation they would save for a “boy’s night.” Maybe they were too far from sober to care. 

“It can’t be that good,” Dian argued. I wasn’t entirely sure if he had actually ever had sex or not either. Not that I cared. I didn’t know him that well anyway. 

“It is,” Matt and Trey said in unison. My gaze stuck to my hands in my lap, trying to check out of the conversation and humming What’s Up? while plugging one of my ears. It wasn’t uncommon for the boys to be pervy like this even while I’m around, but ever since I moved in with them, it’s been happening way more often and it was starting to get old. 

“It’s insane,” Matt said calmly, tilting his head back. “They get so worked up over basically nothing.”

“Drenched in like, two seconds,” Trey added. 

For some reason, I felt betrayed. I didn’t really care what Matt had to say; I knew he got around a lot and I’m pretty sure he thought I was lesbian anyway. Trey’s words hit me harder. We’d been friends since we were 16 and he’d stood up for me on multiple occasions, when drunk assholes at bars or parties would try to make moves on me. Maybe he just wanted to show off. He was being ignorant at my expense. 

I cracked my knuckles and tilted my head to pop my neck on either side, not getting any sense of relief or a satisfying pop in any of my efforts. I was still tense and stiff. I was still uncomfortable. 

“Dude and once you get in there… fuck, man,” Matt mumbled, hitting his fist against the coffee table. 

Trey nodded, grinning. “That’s the best fucking part-”

The blonde yelped slightly as my hand collided with the back of his head, causing his entire body to jerk forward and the room to go quiet. 

“I’m a virgin, you asshole!” I shouted, staring down at him. His eyes held a pretty intense look of shock, fear, and anger, before subtly shifting more towards a guilty, cowardly look. “Just ‘cause I live here now doesn’t mean you guys can talk about shit like that in front of me! Wait till I’m asleep or something, fuck!” 

By the time my sentence was almost over, I had tears streaming down my face. I instantly regretted hitting him, but I’d already reacted before I even thought about how I was going to react. All the nights where I went to bed irritated and just let them talk like that were just piling up and finally toppled over. My feet carried me to my bedroom before my hands slammed the door shut behind me. I paced around, waving my hands and forcing deep breaths through my nose as I cried. 

The panic came from the shock of my own reaction. I can’t believe I hit him. That was so embarrassing too, the way I’d yelled and started crying right after. They must all think I’m psycho. 

I let my hair out of my claw clip and threw it on the floor, taking deep breath after deep breath until I stopped crying and my eyes were puffy. I still very much felt that swell in my throat that threatened more tears. I was far from done crying, but I forced myself to stop before my makeup got any more fucked up and I looked like a pile of sad shit. 

Why did I even care? I lived there. It shouldn’t have mattered to me how I looked. I could kick those people out if I wanted to. They didn’t have to see my face, red, puffy and wet from tears.

“Y/N?” I heard an unmistakable voice outside my door. I knew exactly who it was. “It’s Trey, um… Can you let me in?” 

I swallowed back the remaining tears, rolling my eyes before wiping my face on the black baby tank I was wearing. I stood in the doorway as I opened the door, preventing him from taking any steps further into my space. His head immediately snapped up from looking at his feet to looking in my eyes, where he likely found the most annoyed, unamused, impatient, pissed off gaze he’d ever seen. 

“M-Matt told me to apologize,” He mumbled, looking down at his hands as they fidgeted with themselves. His blonde hair was messy and hung low over his face, partially covering his eyes and eyebrows. 

“Hmph. At least Matt can read a room,” I muttered. I knew that Trey could read a room too, it just was that, more often than not, he didn’t care to and liked to push people’s boundaries sometimes. Now was one of those rare situations where he crossed the line before Matt could stop him. 

This only made Trey more ashamed, it seemed. He laughed slightly, his face smushed into his palms. 

“It’s not funny,” I told him, crossing my arms. My heart had started beating faster since I’d stopped crying. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna cry again, if I was mad at Trey, or something else. “You’re fucking gross. All of you.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” He said, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry.”

His apology still felt fake. I knew he was shit at apologizing, since it was pretty much against what he stood for, but you would think he’d be able to apologize to his best friend of almost ten years. Then again, maybe I overestimated him. 

“...Have you been crying?” Trey asked cautiously. 

“No, this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. YES, I’ve been crying, fucking dick,” I mumbled. “You’ve been the person I trust the most for the past nine years and suddenly that feeling is long gone. It’s kind of fucking heartbreaking, Trey. I can’t even look at you without feeling gross.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. Trey just looked down, swallowing harshly as he rubbed the back of his head. That reminded me. 

“Bet that hurts,” I said coldly. I hid the genuine concern I felt for him behind my harsh tone, not wanting him to know that I did feel guilty about hitting him. I just hoped he knew that he kind of deserved it. 

“Yeah, like a bitch,” He laughed. “Not the worst I’ve taken, though.”

“I can hit you harder,” I offered, shrugging. 

“If I say something gross will you hit me as hard as you can?” He asked me, caressing his chin as he thought. Somehow he’d managed to distract me from why I was even upset. I let him in my room and closed the door behind me, nodding in response to his question as I prepared my hand. 

“Okay, um…” he said. He sounded antsy and… excited. I was starting to feel a little better; maybe this was his way of entertaining me in order to stop me from being upset anymore. 

He did this when we were teenagers too. He’d do stupid things to himself or make fun of himself to make me laugh. Trey rarely ever confronted me about my feelings and asked what was wrong. He would just try to fix it. We were a lot closer back then; many nights I’d accidentally fall asleep against him after crying for several hours. His arms around me, hands stroking my hair, heart beating against mine…

Now we were adults and everything had to be crude all the time. The true “man” in him really started to shine through once I began hanging out with him and Matt, and eventually started living with them. I guess the fact that I was a virgin somehow never came up between me and Trey or anybody, really. I had no girl friends. 

“Hmm… You’re taking too long. I don’t wanna hit you anymore,” I stated, turning towards my door. I never wanted to hit you in the first place. 

“No, no! Wait, just wait. Hold on,” he told me, holding my forearm. He was much closer to me now, having pulled me away from the door as he grabbed me and subconsciously held me closer. I felt my cheeks turn red as he leaned in, giggling slightly, and whispered, “I bet your… I bet you would… you’d feel so good, um, wrapped… wrapped around… I don’t know.”

Trey couldn’t even get through the sentence without laughing, pausing every few words to giggle. Unfortunately, his laughter was contagious and caused me to start giggling as well. His hand moved up to my upper arm as his forehead met my shoulder. 

“You fucking dick,” I said, relaxing my hands. My arms slid over his waist to wrap around his torso. “I hate you. Don’t say shit like that again.” 

His laughter calmed and he leaned back, looking in my eyes. “I won’t. I-I am really sorry. I’m sure Matt is too. We didn’t know-”

“I know. It’s fine,” I said, almost whispering. “And I don’t really give a fuck about Matt. It’s you that I think needs to be taught a lesson.”

Trey’s face lit up slightly, his wide eyes widening further. The blonde grew a devilish smirk. “And what lesson is that? Sharing is caring? Treat others how you wanna be treated?” 

“To shut up once in a while,” I said, putting my hand over his mouth. “You might get more girls if you’re not constantly making jokes about how tight their vagina is, hm?” 

Trey scoffed. “I don’t need ‘girls’. I’ll have you someday,” he stated, poking my nose with his fingertip. 

My hand met his cheek in a lighter, but still harsh, playful slap, before I let go of him and took a step back. “Excuse me?” I laughed, feeling my face burn again. This time, in a good way. 

“The only girl I need is right in front of me,” He beamed, clear mischief present in his eyes. “And… And I know I’ve messed up a few times but I’m still waiting for her. I always have been.” 

Suddenly his tone became softer and more serious. His smile was replaced with a nervous bite of his lower lip.

Tonight was a fucking roller coaster and I felt like I didn’t have a seatbelt on. 

“Trey…” I squeaked, watching as he took a single step closer to me. 

He ignored me. “And I feel like an idiot around her. I am an idiot,” He laughed, swallowing harshly. His eyes darted around my face, looking for my reaction. I was frozen in shock. “And now I’m messing it up again.” 

“She’s here,” I said softly, holding my arms tensely. The situation was completely foreign and completely out of left field. “She misses you. E-Even though you never really went anywhere…”

I backed up against the wall next to my door. “And she feels safe with you. Even though you’re an idiot sometimes,” I said, smiling slightly. Trey laughed and came closer to me, continuing to speak as his hands carefully caressed my waist. 

“I miss her too,” He whispered, leaning closer. “And… And I wanna taste her lips so bad.” 

I felt his forehead collide with mine and his body move closer, his hands softly squeezing my torso. This was not the first time we’d been in this position, believe it or not; we just didn’t go any further. That fateful night at the club after our first day at college had been blocked out from my memory for the past seven years, until right about now.

“She wants you to kiss her,” I whispered, staring at his lips. “So bad.” 

Without much more hesitation, Trey leaned forward, just barely grazing my lips with his to see my reaction. More, I thought as hard as I could, hoping he’d be able to read my mind. His eyelids lowered and he smiled, kissing me again. 

I exhaled, not realizing how long I’d been holding my breath. My body sort of melted as he kissed me more, his right hand moving up to caress my face while his left held tight onto me, pulling himself closer. Trey kissed me gently, but with haste. 

“I guess you have a thing for virgins?” I laughed slightly, humming as he kissed me again and carefully started to lift up my shirt. I let him run his warm hands underneath the fabric and explore my body, while his mouth started to venture onto my neck and shoulders. My own hands ran through his hair, which was still slightly damp from the shower he took in the middle of the “party” he was supposed to be hosting. There was something wrong with him. 

Trey lowered his voice, moving his lips right over my ear. “Sorta. Not ‘cause they're tight or anything, though,” He explained softly, tracing small circles into my hips. “If I tell you the real reason, you can’t judge me. At all.”

He pulled away from my neck, looking me in the eyes to see if I would agree. “Talk to me,” I said, twirling a strand of his hair on the back of his neck. 

Trey leaned back in, pressing his nose against my forehead. “I just like the feeling of… like, feeling like I’m turning them to like, the dark side,” He said, laughing slightly at his word choice. “That’s a stupid way to put it, but y’know.”

“You like corruption,” I said simply, raising my eyebrows at him to tease him. Idiot. 

“...Yes,” he said, sounding slightly unsure. “Something like that.” 

“Weirdo,” I joked, pushing him off of me slightly. In reality, I sort of liked having a conversation like this with him. It made me realize how much I didn’t know about him, despite calling him my best friend for the past decade. Maybe these were the kinds of things only… more-than-friends would have.

He laughed, diving back in to kiss me while his hands worked through my hair, his teeth grazing my bottom lip. 

“Have you french-kissed before?” he asked me, barely leaving me any space to answer as he kept smothering my lips with his. 

“Yes, Trey. I’m not twelve,” I answered, not letting his tongue into my mouth despite his best efforts. I liked the feeling of him desperately trying to push through my lips, then giving up, then trying again. 

“How would I know? A virgin at 25…” He said defensively. “You might as well be Mormon at this rate.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He had a weird thing about Mormons. Maybe it was related to the corruption thing. He just laughed, grabbing my jaw with his whole hand so he could stick his tongue in my mouth. Fuck. Fucking dick caught me off-guard. 

I let him explore my mouth with his tongue, the muscle warm and wet; he tasted like tequila. It was fucking intoxicating. 

Unfortunately, my reaction to the sensation was much more vocal than I wanted it to be. I softly moaned in bliss, his mouth attached to mine as the noise escaped me. I felt him smile and open his mouth up wider, encouraging me to take my own turn exploring his mouth. Trey’s hand slid down from my jaw onto my neck, softly grasping my throat and applying little to no pressure, just holding it. I was unsure whether he genuinely wanted to treat me like glass or if he was just holding back his violent urges and secretly wanted to choke me. 

“I’m not having sex with you, by the way,” I stated, pushing him away by his chest. I tried to ignore how his lips glistened from the excessive amount of saliva built up from our exchange. His face was flushed and his eyes looked slightly sad, but tired, and definitely not sober. 

“Why not?” he asked, whining. I pushed past him, taking a look at myself in the mirror. My shirt had ridden up to the middle of my ribs, my hair was messy, makeup smudged, neck and shoulders decorated with a few small bruises that I could only blame on one person. Thanks a lot, dick, I thought, scoffing. 

“‘Cause you’re gross,” I stated, leaning against the edge of my bed while putting a hoodie on to cover my freshly assaulted shoulders. I pushed myself up so I was fully sitting as Trey came closer to me and got down on his knees. 

“What if I let you sit on my face?” He asked, giving me puppy eyes while his hands caressed my calves. His touch was gentle and gave me butterflies. 

“Tempting,” I hummed, tapping my bottom lip with my index finger. I ran my hand through his hair, as if he was about to suck my dick or something. I laughed to myself as I imagined this. Trey Parker, on his knees, sucking silicone cock. “What if you suffocate?”

“I’ll die in bliss,” He stated, tilting his head back as he reveled in the feeling of my fingers in his hair. He was really determined. I could tell that he probably wasn’t gonna give up either. Too bad, though. I wasn’t finished teasing him yet. Munch.

“You’re disgusting,” I said, raising my eyebrows matter-of-factly and flicking him in the forehead. I swung my legs to the side, standing up off the bed next to where he was kneeling. I started towards the door, waiting to hear him scramble to his feet and stop me in my tracks. He was too predictable. 

“I’ve been wanting this since we were in 10th grade,” He told me, grabbing my wrist before I could open the door. “I’ll be gentle,” he added, waiting for my response. “I promise.” 

“I believe you,” I said. “I trust you. You’re just not quite what I imagined for my first time.” I gave him a passive-aggressive smile of sympathy. I was full of shit, of course. Thinking about it, the only person I would ever want to take my virginity was Trey. I thought that maybe I’d been subconsciously saving it for him this entire time without even realizing. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked, clearly offended. He laughed it off, but his face told a different story. His cheeks were wildly flushed and his eyebrows were deeply furrowed. Was I really that convincing?

I rolled my eyes, kissing him softly. “I was joking, moron,” I said, locking my bedroom door. 

It was then that he looked at me with probably the most awestruck, wide-eyed gaze I’d ever seen from him, his pupils having blown three sizes once I pulled away. I simply giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed him again. “You have to tell me the password.”

“Password?” He asked, laughing. “Pussy password?”

“Yep. You’ll never guess it,” I stated, running my hands gently down his body. 

Trey took a moment to think, looking up at the ceiling. 

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph McCarthy,” He guessed. My face turned red. 

Fuck.

“You can’t beat me, Y/N. I’m always five steps ahead of you,” He laughed, hooking his hands under my knees to lift me up and carry me to my bed, which was a complete disaster as blankets, sheets, clothes and pillows were strewn in every direction. 

“How the fuck did you guess that?” I whispered rhetorically, so shocked that I didn’t even register that he was now on top of me, having laid me down right where I usually sleep. 

“You only said it like, a million times over the whole two weeks when we were reading The Crucible in English. D’you still think that’s the funniest thing ever?” He teased me, straddling my hips. I suddenly felt fatally nervous being under him. Maybe I didn’t want this. “I figured it would either be that or ‘San-Fransican Kegflip’-” 

“Stop,” I choked out. “Stop for a second.” 

Trey paused, confused for a fraction of a moment before shutting his mouth and moving to the side. I bent my knees, closing my legs and covering my face with my arms. I felt like I was going to cry again. For some reason, the idea of finally losing my virginity had me about ready to shit myself, I was so scared. I trusted Trey, of course, but this was just… so new. What if he sucked in bed and I was overestimating him? That would be funny, but it would probably make for the worst virginity story anyone had ever heard. You waiting ten years to fuck your best friend and it wasn’t even good? Just shoot me in the head, why don’t you. 

“Sorry,” I laughed, feeling my body start to tremble. 

“Don’t be, hey,” He said softly, scooting closer to me. “You don’t have to do this. We don’t have to do this. Even though I totally guessed the pussy password right on the first try.”

I could hear the boastful smile in his voice, causing me to smile too. He couldn’t see it. “Shut up,” was all I could think to say.

I could sense that he’d shut his mouth and backed off. “...Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

“No,” I answered quickly. “Please don’t.”

My body shot upward, facing him. My hands held his arms, caressing the warm skin and toned muscle as he looked at me with patient eyes. My own were welling up with tears as my entire body vibrated. 

“I’m scared,” I laughed, pulling his arm as I laid back down. Trey climbed on top of me again, caressing my face and neck. I felt the lump in my throat swell as he kissed my forehead and cheeks. 

“Am I scary?” He asked me, his voice soft. He didn’t make any further advances, he just kissed me a few times and held my hands. 

“You wish you were,” I laughed, grinning as I found the courage to touch him again. My hands rested on either side of his neck, rubbing the soft, freckled skin of his jaw and shoulders. “I just wanna get this over with.”

“You really don’t have to do-”

“No, let’s do it,” I said, taking a deep breath. “It’s been long enough. I think we’re way past the point of no return anyway.”

I sat up, pulling him into a kiss, until he gently pushed me away by my waist, looking me deep in the eyes. 

“Are you sure-”

“Please fuck me, Trey,” I whispered slowly. “Make me bad.”

The blonde just sat there, our faces inches apart, his eyes wide and absolutely dumbfounded. I wasn’t sure why he was surprised. Maybe ‘cause I smacked him twenty minutes ago for talking about wanting to take someone’s virginity. 

“You can still change your mind,” he sighed, obliging and laying me down while pulling my hips up so my ass rested on the top of his lap. I could see the smirk he was trying so hard to contain. “Let’s get these off first.”

I lifted the humongous hoodie up and over my head, looking up as Trey got to work at my skirt and underwear. He removed them pretty easily, lifting my legs up so that my ankles were resting on his shoulders. I had to admit, the sight was something straight out of one of those movies. Him, still fully clothed in a snug gray T-shirt that did wonders for his chest and arms, and me, pantsless with my legs propped up on his shoulders and my bare fucking vagina on full display. 

I thought I could see Trey’s eyes intentionally avoiding the area as his warm hands slid up the sides of my body from my freshly bared hips. He remained focused on my still clothed chest, my shirt riding up higher and higher as he massaged my torso. “Here,” He hummed, moving my legs so that they were wrapped around his hips. 

My mind was pretty much blank as I stared at our hips, my naked crotch only inches away from his own clothed one. I was interrupted however, by a soft pair of lips pushing against my jaw so my head would tilt back. 

“You look really pretty,” he mumbled sweetly, kissing my throat with basically no pressure. I hummed in bliss, running my fingers through his hair. I then laughed, realizing the irony of the situation. I’d basically just had a panic attack right before he came into my room, and now he was on top of me, telling me I looked pretty.

“Just ‘cause I trust you doesn’t mean you can lie,” I grinned, sliding my hands up his biceps and underneath his sleeves, lightly squeezing the muscle as it flexed at my touch. 

“You’re so-” Trey started, a teasingly annoyed tone in his voice. “Just be quiet.” 

I pulled him in for a kiss again, gently tugging on his hair. I heard him groan softly, causing my body to heat up. I’d gone further than I ever had with anyone at that point, especially once he took his shirt off. 

He wasn’t exactly fit but he was definitely muscular. Light brown hairs covered his upper chest and trailed all the way down into his pants. I could see the waistband of his plaid boxers sticking out from under his jeans, held snugly to his hips by an old black belt. At that point I don’t think I was able to form coherent words anymore. I was too nervous to encourage him to keep going, but I was too excited to tell him to slow down. 

“Are you okay with this?” he asked me, sitting up against his heels so his body towered over mine. His right hand reached up to rub the back of his neck, while his left held a gentle grasp on my thigh. I nodded, swallowing harshly. I could see him blushing, the sight giving me a little more confidence. Enough to tease him some more. 

“Are you nervous?” I asked him, propping myself up on my elbows before he pushed me back down and started kissing my neck. 

“About what?” he asked, huffing slightly. I held onto his broad chest, massaging his shoulders and tracing each muscle and bone. 

“Taking my virginity,” I answered. “This isn’t your first time doing someone during their first time, is it?” I acted as though taking someone’s virginity was just as infamous as losing it. 

Trey chuckled, pulling my shirt up. “If it weren’t you underneath me, I think I’d feel better. Sit up,” he said. I obeyed him, allowing him to pull my shirt off completely, exposing the little pink lounge bra I’d been wearing all day. He held my neck and kissed my forehead as I reached behind my back to undo the clasp and slide it off my shoulders, rendering me completely naked beneath him. 

Now the nerves were back. I swallowed harshly, staring down at his hips as he undid the buckle of his belt, moving one hand to rub slowly up and down my stomach as the other pulled the leather strap out from the confines of his jeans. His head was tilted down, all of his focus devoted to the task of getting his pants off. 

Suddenly, his eyes met mine, and he smiled shyly. Fucking Christ. 

I remembered the night we went to prom. I wasn’t his date and he wasn’t mine; he had his own date, but he and I showed up together, since we only lived three houses away from each other. I recalled the moment I opened my front door to see him at my doorstep, wearing a white suit with black pants and dark green accents. I told him he looked nice, and he smiled shyly. I guess we were both a lot more innocent back then. 

“You okay?” He asked, stroking my knees. I’d zoned out and not realized that he was just in his boxers now, waiting for my permission to proceed. I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. Trey noticed, smiling slightly. 

“Is it cool if I, um, finger you? For like, prep?” He asked me, adjusting his boxers slightly. 

“What are you gonna do if I say no?” I asked, smiling. 

“Fuck off, I dunno,” he laughed. 

I sat up and kissed him, pushing his chest so that he’d lay back, but he just took the kiss and grabbed my hand, confused. “What are you doing?” 

“I’ll be on top,” I offered. “That way you don’t have to keep stopping to ask if I’m okay.”

“That is not how it works,” he laughed, raising his eyebrows. “But go ahead.”

He laid back against my pillows, half sitting up with his head and shoulders against my headboard. Trey watched me intently as I crawled on top of him, unsure of what to do with my hands as I moved. I felt like I was put in a spotlight, shyness overcoming me as my eyes met his. He just stared at me with a soft, awestruck gaze, his hands lightly stroking my thighs. 

My hair fell in front of my face as I leaned down to kiss him, my shoulders tense as I propped myself up with pin-straight arms to keep my weight off him. I felt him smile in the kiss, chuckling as his hands moved up to my hips and caressed my ass ever so slightly. 

“You can sit on me, you know,” he said, looking up at me. Trey pulled my hips closer, lifting his own up slightly to shift his position and make himself more comfortable, holding in part of a grunt. “Just relax. Stop if you need to.”

“You’re not making me very bad right now,” I stated, kissing his throat. “Are you stalling?”

“I think you’re stalling, sweetheart,” He countered, tugging my hips into his again, harsher this time. My heart skipped a beat at the action and the fire in my stomach practically exploded. “I would have finished with you twice by now. Maybe three times.”

He was finally starting to get impatient. For some reason, deep down, I liked the idea of him rushing me. Just imagining it caused my adrenaline to kick in and my heartrate to pick up.

I took a deep breath, nerves building up again. Without looking, I held my breath, pulling the waistband of his boxers down just enough for his cock to slide out and present itself to me. I heard Trey gasp, seeming genuinely surprised. 

This was happening. 

“I-I don’t have condoms,” I said, swallowing harshly. 

“I do,” he huffed, his breath having picked up in pace. “In my bedroom.”

Fuck. I didn’t want him to have to go get them and I certainly wasn’t going to go fetch them myself. I weighed my options as quickly as my brain would allow; either risk getting caught and interrogated, or risk getting pregnant. Humiliation, or bearing my best friend’s child. Only one of those options could be truly reversed. 

“It’s fine,” I shook my head, fixing my hair. I stared at his stomach as he breathed rapidly. 

“You sure? I can go get them real quick-”

“I trust you,” I told him, tracing small circles in his hips. His body shivered, before he sat up, causing the muscles in his abdomen to flex. Trey leaned in close, his lips grazing my ear. 

“I’m dead fucking serious, Y/N,” he whispered. “Are you sure? 100% sure?”

I nodded quickly. I really was. I really wanted him. The past nine years had been taunting me all night. “I trust you.”

Trey looked in my eyes, searching for any twitches or other movements that might hint at me lying, but he found none. I gave him a look of longing, my eyelids low as I looked from his eyes, to his lips, to his body, and back up again. 

“Let me get on top,” he whispered. 

Without hesitation, I listened to him, holding his torso as he crawled on top of me once again, his hair tickling my face. His head was tilted down, staring intently at his piece which he took so much care to prepare, stroking it slowly. 

I knew what was about to happen. I knew how it was going to feel, and I dreaded it. I’m sure this wasn’t new at all, either. According to him and Matt, this was the best part.

“It’s gonna sting,” He said, swallowing harshly. He looked incredibly nervous. Possibly more than me. Why? “I’m gonna try to be gentle.”

I just nodded. Holy fucking fuck shit fuck holy fuck. It was finally happening. For real. Literally. It was actually literally happening. He was about to be inside of me. What the fuck. 

I put my hand over my eyes, holding my breath as I felt him shift, waiting for the pain to start. 

Trey lowered my hand, placing it on his arm. “I want you to see,” He whispered, kissing my forehead. “Breathe.”

I felt like I could cry and I wasn’t even in pain yet. Maybe it was the fact that the man I trusted so much and felt so safe with was making me feel extra safe in such a dangerous, foreign situation. Then I started to feel it. 

A wince left my throat pretty much immediately after he started pushing in. It felt like I was being ripped in half by the legs. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, kissing my neck and all over my cheek. 

He paused, giving me a bit of a break to adjust. I held my palms over my face as tears welled up in my eyes. No wonder I waited till I was 25.

It wasn’t long before he started moving again, slower than fucking molasses, until he bottomed out. Trey propped himself up on his elbows, kissing my neck again. 

“I bet you’d feel so good wrapped around my cock you pretty virgin whore,” He said in a dumb voice. I laughed, partially crying through it. It still hurt to move, despite Trey’s efforts to soothe me through gentle kisses all up and down my neck while he traced circles into my hips. 

“I definitely would have smacked the shit out of you,” I said, my voice breaking. 

“Well, I was right, so,” He bragged, grinning like a cocky piece of shit. Douchebag. 

“Don’t test me, Parker,” I warned him. “Once I can move without splitting in half, you’re a dead man.” 

He cocked his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. “I’ll keep that in mind later when you’re begging me to stop teasing you,” he mumbled, kissing me. 

I stopped arguing, just reveling in the feeling of his lips on mine. That was a much better feeling than the sharp pain in my hips, which actually, was starting to feel a little less intense. I opened my mouth for him to slip his tongue into once again, hoping he would start moving by himself without me having to ask him to. 

Trey groaned slightly, kissing me harder. My legs wrapped carefully around his waist, attempting to pull him closer without fucking up the more comfortable position I was already in. My prayers were answered and the idiot took the hint, slowly drawing his dick out, and even more slowly, pushing it back in. 

“Pull my hair,” he mumbled quickly, leaving my lips for my neck. Now his nose was right up against my ear and I could hear every single breath he drew in and pushed back out. They were strangled, like he kept holding in inhales and exhaling in short, harsh breaths. My fingers worked their way from the base of his neck, moving upward to gather as much hair between them as I could, and clenched my fist as tight as possible. Trey whimpered; it was high-pitched and almost girly. If I didn’t hear it again in the next few seconds I would die. 

Without telling him, he had already sort of picked up the pace, burying his mouth into my neck and shoulders. I felt his hand press flat against the lower part of my stomach, applying light but very noticeable pressure to the area as he continued to fuck me. 

“If you were any tighter I think my dick would lose circulation,” He huffed, looking at me. I could see his temples glistening from sweat. 

“If you were any bigger I think I would fucking die,” I countered, resting my head back to look at the ceiling. His lips had left damp spots on my neck that started to feel cold, giving me chills. 

“I think you might be the best I’ve had,” he whispered, mumbling into my neck. His voice carried so much passion. I felt like crying again. No surprise there. 

“Same,” I grinned. “You’re the only one I’ve had.”

“Can I go faster?” he asked, ignoring me. 

I nodded, holding his head close to me. I stared at the ceiling, my entire body rocking slightly as Trey’s hips collided with mine again and again. My eyes fell shut as he started moving faster, and inevitably deeper. 

He was a lot less vocal than I’d hoped. Likely because he didn’t want us to get caught and/or interrogated. Plus, I knew how loud Matt could be at times… in fact out of the two I only ever recalled hearing Matt. 

Without even realizing, my back arched upward as the most electrifying wave of pleasure shot through my entire body, causing me to gasp and moan at an unfortunate volume. Trey had sent a harsh, pointed thrust into me, hitting that infamous spot with great force and friction. 

“Mm-hmm,” He hummed, acting like he knew I would react that way. Embarrassment washed over me at the vulgar noise that had just erupted from me, but there wasn’t much I could do to protest except bite the back of my hand while Trey fucked me harder and harder, pushing similar sounds out of me. 

“Fuck, fuck… fuck… Trey- mmnh,” were just a few things among the obscenities that erupted from my throat as he just pushed me closer to the edge. 

“You’re doing so good,” He whispered, kissing a spot under my ear that gave me goosebumps. 

I pulled his hair again, hoping to earn another one of those ridiculously pathetic sounds that was burying so deeply within him. His hair was soft and slid so nicely between my fingers; the feeling and scent were almost enough to make me cum right then.

I tugged on a chunk of his hair, causing him to whimper again, then causing me to arch my back as I felt my orgasm rushing through my body, and then causing him to fuck me faster still. 

I think I saw my entire life flash before my eyes once I felt his middle and ring fingers dip between my legs and rub circles against my clit, pressing on it and pinching it ever slightly. The high hit me like a bus and I shoved my wrist into my mouth, crying out his name as my body twitched and the knot came undone within me. 

“So… pretty… fuck-” he groaned, his rhythm faltering to a stutter as he started to get close too. A sharp pain struck my lower half as he quickly pulled out and came all over my hips and thigh. That worked out nicely, except now my sheets are fucking sticky and I’m covered in this fuckwad’s children. 

I thought it was incredible how, even though this guy managed to make me scream his name in a way that you’d only hear in special types of movies, I still managed to think of him as a worm. No brain and no spine (occasionally). I still loved him, of course. No matter how much I hated him. He was still my Trey. 

“Aren’t you just the tidiest?” I said sarcastically, catching my breath. I ran my fingertip through some of his spill, rubbing it between my fingers. It was hot and sticky, but sort of… silky. It was weird and I liked it a lot. Especially since it was his. 

“Shut up, woman. Jesus,” he huffed, laughing. 

There was a knock at my bedroom door. “Y/N? Trey? You guys okay?” It was Matt, inebriated. 

I looked at Trey, fear in both of our eyes, until I spoke up, “You know what, fuck you! You’re a piece of shit pig! I don’t even know why I moved in with you in the first place!” 

Trey’s face only read as pure shock as I spoke, but it worked, and Matt walked away. “Wow, okay. I guess not,” He’d said. 

“You’re a good actor,” Trey told me, brushing my hair out of my face. 

“Hmm, I guess. But you don’t want me anymore, do you?” I said jokingly, pouting. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, grinning. 

“‘Cause I’m not a virgin anymore,” I said, giving him the biggest doe eyes I possibly could. 

“Oh, oh, right. Yeah, that does change things,” He said, biting his finger. “I think I’m about finished with you know. Goodbye!” 

He sat up to leave the room, until I whacked his arm and pulled him back down next to me. I knew he was joking. He knew he was stuck with me forever. 

“You can’t go bragging to everyone just yet,” I told him. “Slow down.”

Trey scoffed. “I’m not telling them jack. All they’ll do is ask questions that I won’t answer.”

“They have to find out eventually,” I said. 

“Says who?”

“Says God,” I shrugged in a nothing-I-can-do-about-it sort of manner. 

“God is dead,” Trey said, grimacing. 

I grinned, leaning forward to kiss him. “You’re never getting rid of me, Trey Parker.” 

“That’s fine with me,” he said, pulling me in for another kiss. 

#i can write a 7k+ word long trey fic in 1 day #but i can’t write a 2.5k word long matt fic in 5 days #what the fuck #trey parker #trey parker x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fem reader #fluff #smut #baseketball #cannibal the musical #south park #matt stone x reader #angst #mattrey

[vivianquill]

Jimmy hadn't realized he was alive. Not at first. He'd been frozen to the spot, static buzzing in his ears and eyes shut against the incoming pain.

He flinched, when a too warm hand touched his shoulder.

"Hey, Jimmy." Tango's voice cutting through the static, a hand cupping his cheek, "You're quite the treasure, hm? You make letting those fools paw through my hoard worth it."

Jimmy hunched in on himself, his wings coming up in a protective mantle. He was too scared to make any noise, too frozen to open his eyes. He didn't want to see his troupe. Not like this.

"Hey now-- hey sh sh shhhhh. . ."

Jimmy felt a rush of cold air, before something scooped him up and tucked him close. It felt almost like a giant hand, but a little bit too cold and smooth. He didn't dare look, ignoring the vertigo of sudden movement.

It took him being dropped onto a pile of something soft and warm to shock him into opening his eyes with an 'oof--'

Jimmy wished he hadn't. He'd been deposited in a nest-- one much bigger than any avian would make, obviously big enough to house a dragon comfortably--

And Tango was staring at him.

Tango. As a dragon. Right.

He couldn't look more different that the form he'd taken as a human to trick them into his lair. His scales were silver, as far as Jimmy could tell, what with the horrible lighting and the shock and the way everything was sort of swimming--

So he was a good dragon then, not one that would torment Jimmy just to eat him later. Maybe. He had just-- Nope. Not the time to think about that.

The dragon circled Jimmy once, almost like a dog bedding down, before plopping next to him, one big eye staring at Jimmy.

"You're not going to keel over from stress, are you? I hate losing my treasures."

Jimmy pulled his wings tight around himself, "N-no. I'll-- I'm not going to die."

"Good." Tango huffed out a soft breath of mist, draping a big wing over Jimmy like throwing a blanket over a birdcage.

Jimmy let out a soft 'eep-'. Then he went quiet. He was probably in shock.

He was most definitely in shock. Jimmy's memories were fuzzy, at least for the next few-- somethings. The next stretch of time.

It came in waves, almost.

The memories were tinged with fear and static first; who wouldn't be terrified of a dragon? Tango brought him food and water, and bundled him up in warm furs and draped him in jewelry. Like Jimmy was a glorified statue. To be fair, it was how he'd been acting.

Then Jimmy either got over his fear or got used to it-- he couldn't remember which. Probably both-- and out came the anger. Tango had murdered his entire troupe on a whim! He had probably done it to more adventurers in the past. And now he was treating Jimmy like a pet-- a very spoiled pet, but still a pet--

There was a lot of yelling, and a lot of static, and there was an attempt at escaping-- It would have never worked, but Jimmy had to try. Multiple attempts at escaping. Anger turned into a desperate need to be free, a yearning for the sun and the open sky after so long without it.

Tango was patient through it all, in a way that pissed Jimmy off even more. It was like-- like anything Jimmy did was so entertaining. Like Jimmy was a disgruntled kitten.

The anger lasted a long time, swinging down into despair and back again. Nothing he did could make Tango angry at him. Nothing he did could get anything other than a condescending grin and an amused laugh and a wing draped over his head in the nest at the end of the day. Tango even started bringing him along when he went to work on his lair; he put Jimmy on a magic leash, one that let Tango keep him close. Tango said it was 'to keep him safe'

There was only one time where Tango did anything to hurt Jimmy. And it wasn't even anything bad, the static said. It hadn't really hurt him.

Tango had clipped his wings.

Jimmy had attempted to throw himself to the floor from the very top of the swooping ceilings of the treasure room. It was the highest place he could get to, trapped underground as he was.

Tango had caught him before he could to anything to truly hurt himself, carefully slicing his flight feathers short and crippling the avian for who knew how long.

It was humiliating.

The static had taken most of the next stretch of time from him-- but it didn't take everything. Jimmy knew that he'd finally found a way to piss Tango off. Somehow. Whenever he reached to grasp at those memories, they always seemed a little bit out of reach.

Tango just wanted to be his friend. Why had he been fighting so hard against him? Jimmy should be happy to have a friend as great as Tango! Who else could say that they were best friends with a dragon?

Jimmy's feathers grew back in as gold as the treasure Tango loved to drape on him. It was comforting, for the dragon to help him preen them.

He couldn't quite remember when he'd made the pact, but he had. How else could he have ended up with more magic than he knew what to do with, and the ability to hear Tango calling for him anywhere in the lair or the Citadel above?

Jimmy was given free rein of the place, after the pact. Tango seemed overjoyed to have someone to show all his clever traps and passages and hidden doors and puzzles and treasure to. There was always some new trick to learn, or some new spell Tango wanted him to try, or some new magic artifact for Jimmy look at or wear or use.

Jimmy didn't quite know when he'd picked up singing, either. It wasn't singing like most humanoids sang. It was birdsong. And it was something Tango could hear no matter how far away from him Jimmy wandered.

The dungeon continued to bring in adventurers. Wanna-be heroes, after gold or magic or who knew what. Time was a fickle thing, down in Tango's lair, and Jimmy had no way of telling how long it'd been since he arrived. Whenever he asked, Tango would give him an answer that wasn't really an answer. Surely he'd been here for less than a year.

Tango started letting Jimmy help. The adventurers made for good magic practice. And not all of them were the punch first, ask questions later kind of adventurers.

Jimmy couldn't help but warn them about the danger. That this was a dragon's lair.

Tango found it amusing, how some of them tried to backtrack, after they found out what they were up against.

He didn't let them, of course.

Jimmy found it at least a little bit interesting, how Tango's lair was set up to reward those who played his games and solved his puzzles and were clever in ways Tango hadn't thought of yet. His troupe had had so much trouble because they'd ignored all of it, in favor of slogging through the dungeons and killing the monsters.

The fastest he'd ever seen a troupe get down to Tango's lair proper was less than a week.

That was the first troupe where Jimmy had a significant hand in guiding them past the worst of the danger. He'd grown fond of them. They had treated Jimmy like one of their own.

Tango let them each choose one piece of treasure.

They'd earned it, Tango whispered through the bond. He did give treasures away to those who had earned the reward. And besides, they'd treated Jimmy so well. Even before knowing this place was a dragon's lair.

It was up to them to get out with the treasures, however.

Tango didn't let Jimmy help them on the way out.

#tangotek #jimmy solidarity #team rancher #team rancher au #dark ranchers #viviwrites #dragonfrost au #dont mind me #first draft go brr #gotta learn how to actually draft and rewrite SOMEHOW #but my need to post what i write also needs attention #i have NO patience #the first chapter of unsung melody is the first (second-ish technically) time i have done the whole. write in drafts thing. #I'm liking it so far #time will tell if i continue it #anyway. This will probably get split into more than one chapter #depending on how long i stretch it out into #last time 800 words turned into 2.5k. #this one is 1.3k already #hermitfic

[mad-c1oud]

ITS MAKING ME INSANE HAS REACH 800 KUDOS WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND NEARLY 10K HITS????????? AHHHHHH

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!!!!! #800 KUDOS!!!!!! #across all my fics I have over 2.5k kudos I need to lie down and cry for a sec #and 25k hits #AND 120k words #what do you mean immi has over 250 bookmarks #what are you saying in there I’m so curious #mad ramblings

[sexynetra]

i hope it isn't rude to ask (i just really love your work) but would we be getting a rawnsyf chapter 8

Not rude at all!! I am slowly plugging away at chapter 8 it will absolutely be coming I refuse to abandon a work fully 😂

#we’re like 2.5k words in #but I refuse to send it to my editor until the first draft of the chapter is completed #but hopefully I will get some rawnsyf out to y’all soon <33333 #also thank you for supporting me 🥺 #I still kind of can’t believe that other people read my work #I never thought it would leave me and the 3 friends I begged to read it #and here we are!!! #ask #asks #anon #rawnsyf #running away will never set you free #also these little screenshots make me laugh #like see what info you can glean from the first word or two of each line #it’s like an I spy game

[soupbtch]

the more I reread this sex scene, the longer it gets 🫠

#it's throwing off my average word count per chapter #i severely underestimated how much clothing and how many limbs and how many things they say to each other and now here we are #would it be weird to have one chapter be like 2.5k words longer than the rest lmfao #what if it's for sex does that make things better? #danny writes #danny.xls

[rosecreates]

The Devil Within

On a night where Nimue regains another, rather awful memory of her past during her trance, she runs off to vomit into a bush in the forest whilst plagued by a terrible headache, and unknowingly is followed by Astarion, who isn't keen to let her completely get out of explaining what's wrong.

Word Count: 2,524

Pairing(s): Vague Dark Urge/Astarion during their friends-with-benefits phase

Characters: Nimue (My Dark Urge), Astarion, Alfira mentions

Warnings: Spoilers for Act 1 Dark Urge stuff. It's for the most part introspection into my Dark Urge Nimue. Lot's o' angst with...some comfort, sorta, it's Act 1 Astarion so he sort of does his own weird way of trying to help. Dark Urge-typical violent themes. Light emetophobia warning, as whilst it's not descriptive Nimue vomits due to her urge. Not proofread.

A/N: I wrote this on a whim, first time I've written anything BG3-related actually and first time in a long time that I've written anything outside of Tumblr RP, so forgive me if Astarion's character isn't written the best or in general if the writing isn't great. But it's mostly about Nim anyway and I wrote this for fun. Title is from the song by Digital Daggers, "The Devil Within". The song is practically Nim's urge talking to her directly.

Light pink eyes look around, the little elf they belonged to finding her vision bleary as she processes what's going on. Her head is absolutely throbbing. And red. There's so much red. All over her, all over the ground at her feet- blood. It's blood. The ground is white marble, once pristine but now positively drenched in ichor. But from what, the elven girl wonders, as her sight grows clearer, and her gaze finally finds the source.

The sea of corpses that lie many feet in front of her, before a pulpit where a priest is hunched over with a knife sticking out of his back. She recoils, horror consuming her face, screaming as she falls unto the bloodstained ground. She feels ready to vomit, and gods, her head aches so badly. And yet. And yet, there is a certain satisfaction that she feels, despite the bile that feels ready to consume her. Satisfaction?

Soon, realization dawns on her at what had transpired.

It happened again.

She had done this.

The little elf was the sole one to blame for this grisly crime.

-

Nimue snaps out of her trance with start, breathing heavily as she regained her bearings, her head hurting once more as, just like in the memory, she felt ready to puke.

Another memory of the past, it seemed, and a violent one at that. One that appeared to indicate that these blasted urges she'd been suffering from ever since she awoke on the Nautiloid truly had always been with her, even before she'd been afflicted with amnesia. And the incident with Alfira...wasn't the first time she'd ever blacked out and committed murder in her life, either.

But there were still too many questions she had about the nature of this urge, and why she was saddled with memory loss. But her infuriating butler won't tell her anything. No matter how much she tried to press him when he appeared to her the night after she killed Alfira, he didn't budge. She hated indulging her urge, but she wouldn't be opposed to letting it direct her for once against that ugly creature that called itself Sceleritas Fel.

Alfira...her mind wanders back to that night. The grief she'd suffered immediately after the unintentional murder returns- as if it ever left, because it certainly didn't. Nimue had been ready to welcome Alfira as part of her camp, to become yet another member of the group of wayward strangers united by their need to find a cure for the tadpole in their heads that Nimue found herself de-facto leader of.

Nimue had internally declared herself their protector, despite the fact you could hardly call a woman constantly fighting against her urges to kill all of them in cold blood fit to protect just about anyone. But she thought she had control over those urges. A foolish thought in hindsight, but she thought that redirecting them towards her enemies and using the urges to make her at least a decent protector was working.

In the end, she was only trying to lie to herself, and had underestimated how truly catastrophic her urges were. That underestimation of them led to Alfira's death. Sweet Alfira, who wanted to just go on an adventure with people who were nice enough to help her with her still-ongoing journey to finishing a song for her deceased teacher, who'd perished to gnolls only a short time prior. Nimue finds a slight smile forming on her face as she thinks about the tragedy of it all, of having reunited the apprentice bard with her beloved mentor through a gruesome death perhaps even more awful than the demise Lihala had faced, before shaking her head rapidly.

She hates this. She hates it. None else in this camp are any the wiser to it, thinking her to be their stoic but well-meaning leader, who tries her best to protect them whilst also helping who she can at the same time, but not without asking for compensation. What would they think, if they learned how she usually only helped others because she wanted to spite her urge? How she hasn't the faintest idea of a moral compass, only going by what would make her party happy and to resist against this vile urge hers?

How deep down, she's really just a wretched coward who doesn't even know who she is beyond what fragments of memory slowly resurface, who feels only cold apathy in face of most people beyond her companions, who doesn't even truly understand her own emotions. That is, all except for the fear that drives her, the fear of losing control, and the even worse fear of being alone. That fear is pathetic, she knows, and yet it is also part of why she's managed to continue having enough willpower to remain as she has been.

No one needs to know a thing of what a monster she really is beneath the perfect ethereal facade of a mild-mannered but good-intentioned leader she puts up. But how long can she keep it up? How long until the others start to realize what frigidity lies within the heart of their beloved leader Nim?

She doesn't want to know. If she can keep this up forever, she happily would. She just needs to keep her wits about her, to fight against her urge even harder, now that she knows it can take control of her even when she trances. She has to admit, ever since Alfira's death, she's been trancing even less, and she's been plagued by horrible memories whenever she did trance.

How was she supposed to deal with the prospect that she could trance and then wake up to find herself standing over the corpse of one of her beloved companions? They, who were all that kept her connected to whatever humanity remains within her otherwise monstrous being that hid within the skin of a High Elf?

Dammit, she really is going to be sick. With haste, she gets up from her bedroll as quickly as she can, a hand over her mouth to try to hold it back. She doesn't want anyone to hear her, to see her in this sort of state. And she retches into the nearby bush once she thinks she's far enough away from camp, shaking as her head is still gnawing at her.

"My, you look positively dreadful for once."

She freezes.

Astarion.

Of course the only other fucking elf in camp, who experienced the same sort of trances that had him semi-conscious and bore the same keen senses, would end up breaking from his trance and catching her running from camp with vomit barely held back in her throat and throwing up inexplicably. Of course he would. She has to wonder how he didn't catch her when she murdered Alfira, frankly.

But in fairness to those godsforsaken urges of hers, they weren't stupid. They had gotten Alfira a little farther from her companions before maiming the poor bard. Still, she has to wonder if the vampire knew more than he was letting on.

Or maybe she was just paranoid. Yeah, she's probably just paranoid. Because she's afraid, and god her head is agonizing right now but she can't let him know. He's certainly the one person at camp who'd perhaps make the least fuss about learning her darker nature, but she still doesn't want him to know.

No one needs to know. Nor should they. It's why she never pried into her companions' pasts unless it was truly necessary. She'd say it's because they didn't pry into her past, but she'd been frank with them that she didn't remember anything at all of it. Rather, none were all that nosy, and so she wasn't nosy either, despite her admitted curiosity.

"Had a bad trance, that's all. Sorry if I broke yours."

The icy stoicism was up in full force as she tried to brush it off, even though anyone who was at least mediocre in reading people could tell there was more than she wanted to tell. The way Astarion's crimson eyes narrowed said as much. His beautiful blood-colored eyes, that she'd love to tear out of his skull slowly and carefully to admire from up close- shut up shut up shut up.

"I saw you scurry away from camp as fast as you could and vomit into that bush there, darling."

Of course he saw that.

Her gaze remains cold as it looks at Astarion, pretending to be entirely unfazed. "...And if I did?"

"Normally? I wouldn't care much, but I've noticed you've been...how should I say this, quite disheveled lately, in comparison to that almost irritatingly perfect composure you usually have. You've only ever been anywhere near this much of a mess on that lovely night you and I lost ourselves in one another's bodies. Obviously a good kind of mess, unlike this."

Ah yes, that time where Nimue had taken up the vampire's offer of a night of carnal pleasure, all in hopes of distracting herself for a while from, well, mainly her urges, but also from everything in general. And it had worked. Kind of. The pleasure barely managed to be louder than the urges. It's not that she hadn't enjoyed that night, but it barely achieved what she wanted. And she wasn't sure how 'there' Astarion had been during it. He'd looked so...far away, even though he was right there at the same time.

Still, anything was better than nothing when it came to her damn urges. And right now, she's focused on Astarion not managing to pick at her enough to get insight into her true mental state. He may be being very...casual about this for the most part, but he clearly wanted answers. She's not exactly sure why- it doesn't matter anyway, because she won't give them to him.

"Where are you going with this?" She queries, brow raising slightly.

"What have you been seeing in your trances recently that's caused you to be in this kind of state, darling?"

At least he thinks it's just her seeing bad things in her trances. Her gaze does not move from him as she proceeds to answer with cool-collectedness.

"It's nothing, really, Ast-"

His unimpressed look makes her stop, before she weaves together another sentence to try to get him to stop.

"...It's just been some memories of some difficult battles, that's all."

He narrows his eyes at her. He doesn't buy it. "You may think no one notices, but we've all seen how you delight in spilling the blood of your enemies."

"You can enjoy killing their enemies whilst being haunted by nearly losing your life, or an ally almost losing their life."

He scoffs. "Please, your blatant lack of self-preservation is painfully obvious, as much as I loathe it."

Astarion had certainly made no secret of how he dislikes Nimue going and helping others, especially when it put her or others in danger, that's for sure. Or well, Nimue usually only put herself in danger. She'd rather die than anyone else.

They fall into silence for a few moments, Astarion waiting for her to finally tell what's going on, and Nimue not wanting to say anything. Nimue breaks it first, when she realized Astarion wasn't going to budge.

And perhaps because she wanted to take the chance that she could tell him at least a little of what's going on.

So, she sighs, and in her soft, and right now quite weary voice, she finally explains a little. "...I've been slowly getting back pieces of my memory. But the memories...aren't good ones."

Most of her trances have actually been occupied by the memory of the night she killed Alfira, but he doesn't need to know that.

He tilts his head to the side, and his face shows he just wants her to continue. Begrudgingly, she does. "Tonight, the memory I got was...of a younger me, surrounded by corpses, in...a church, I think. The memory distressed me enough that I felt the overwhelming need to vomit. So I did. And I have a headache. Probably because of not getting great rest."

Astarion evidently listens closely to each word, and nods once Nimue finishes, his arms crossing as he speaks. "Well, it's good that it seems like your memories aren't lost forever." He starts, before he seems to pause to contemplate what to say or do next.

It seems he's not really sure how to proceed, actually. Nimue silently questions why he came if he didn't even know what to do when she fessed up about what's going on. "You're aware you don't need to keep this to yourself, mm? I'm sure the others would let you vent your troubles and help you gladly."

Nimue's gaze finally falls from Astarion to the bush beside her she'd puked in earlier. "...I didn't want to trouble them." It's not a lie. They all have their own problems. Although there's a lot more to this than her simply not wanting to be a burden.

Astarion rolls his eyes. "How about you stop playing the woefully selfless hero already? You've already helped them plenty. They could do to help you a bit in return."

Nimue doesn't respond, her gaze staying on the bush. A minute passes before Astarion dramatically sighs, shaking his head, prompting Nimue to look at him once again. "Tell me, do you plan to try to trance again soon, or not?"

Nimue shakes her head. "I don't think I'll be able to, if I'm going to be honest." Astarion makes a sound of annoyance, before walking closer to her.

"Well, luckily for you, I don't plan to either."

"You don't have to stay up with-"

"Shush, darling. First, let's return to camp, yes?" He motions for her to follow him, and she follows silently, them returning to camp side by side, before he leads her onto the rock formation at the camp's center. At first, she's confused what he's doing, but he soon sits down, and pats the spot beside him, signaling for her to do the same. She obeys, and he proceeds to point up at the sky, where from here they get a lovely view of the starry night sky above.

Ah. He was getting her to stargaze with him. To get her mind off the bad memory.

And, well, she can't say she's upset about it. The stars tonight are gorgeous, she has to admit. She always did love the stars, or well, she'd loved them since she spent her first night camping with everyone. And Astarion- befitting the meaning of his name- was quite fond of them as well.

This was...really nice. Her head still hurts, but it feels like it hurts a bit less right now. And her urges had decided to be quieter now, giving her a welcome slight reprieve for now.

Neither her nor Astarion uttered another word, but simply admired the stars together. Tomorrow would surely have an endless amount of horrors awaiting them as always, but that wasn't right now.

Right now?

She felt the closest thing to peace she had in a long while.

#{writing} #{fanfiction} #{oc fic} #{bg3 fic} #{oc: nimue} #{bg3 - astarion} #bg3 #writing #bg3 writing #bg3 fanfiction #astarion #astarion bg3 #dark urge #bg3 dark urge #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x dark urge #astarion x durge #do not ask me how i vomited up a 2.5k word fanfic between like 10 pm - 2 am i do not fucking know what came over me #anyway hurray for the first bit of writing on this blog i am going to sleep now #as previously stated this is my first bg3 fic so apologies if astarion isnt exactly written the best. again this was focused on nim so yea #i tried y'all but im not gonna go over and proofread this in my current state + this was for fun #hope y'all like this though ive been wanting to write stuff of nim for some time now #maybe when i gain enough confidence i will write what ive really been wanting to write and do something of nim from others' povs #i dunno we will see #anyways goodnight

[golden-moose]

Untitled, Unedited, Unfinished Fic Excerpt

Pairing: Louigan Rating: T Warnings: nonsexual mention of penises, mention of kissing Summary: Set after Overdue for a Beating, Logan invites Louise to Scotty's New Year's Eve party. He has a quiet chat with his friends while playing pool.

Logan leaned over the pool table, resting his left hand on the soft green felt to make the shot. The cue ball, still perfectly off-white and un-pockmarked by years of blue chalk, bounced off a rail, then connected with the green striped 14 ball, which sank easily into a corner pocket. Logan rounded the table to position himself for his next shot. Pool is just geometry, he recalled his dad telling him during a rare father-son outing. Lucky for Logan, he was pretty damn good at geometry.

Caleb sat in an armchair against the wall, utterly relaxed, as if he owned the place, despite the thrashing he and Jacob were receiving from Logan and Scotty. “So like, that’s the girl who tried to have bikers cut your dick off in high school, right?” Caleb asked.

Logan grunted in the affirmative as he sent the 11 ball to its new home in a center pocket. “She wanted them to cut off my ears,” he corrected as he stood. He frowned, performing mental math to determine his next move.

“She seems pretty cool now,” Caleb continued.

Logan grunted in agreement again as he lined up another shot. The 9 ball sank into a corner pocket. “Yeah, we like…hated each other back then…” He paused to consider his next move. “But I dunno, she’s pretty cool now.” Warmth crept up Logan’s cheeks and ears. He was grateful  for the dim light of Scotty’s dad’s lounge.

Logan bent over and carefully aimed his cue. Once he sank the 13 ball, he and Scotty could go after the 8 ball. He readied the shot, pulling his cue back–

“I dare you kiss her at midnight, dude!” Scotty blurted out.

–and Logan’s cue barely glanced off the cueball. It spun uselessly toward the center of the table.

#louiganweek23 #louigan #my fic #i wanted to have more done but OH WELL #i am a very busy woman #and i am incapable of writing anything short #so 301 words out of...i'm guessing like 2.5k is all you get for now #every other day is gonna be like this too but what are you gonna do

[alpinelogy]

one more scene and i am done-

#come on brain do the word thing i know what i want to say. i know how i want to say it. i just cant write it #this will be maybe 2.5k why did this take me two weeks to write again? #erika.txt

[viperwhispered]

Well, I think so at least. I mean, I do still have some writing to do and Baldur's Gate 3 might just steal me away soon but.

So, if anyone wants to get tagged for aged up / adult Jamil Viper x nonyuu!reader fic with possibly kinda dark and certainly a bit dubious Jamil and some nsfw, do let me know.

For a teaser:

Suddenly, with perfect clarity, you realize how Jamil has set this whole thing up. How everything until now has been leading to this. The thrill of that thought is what makes you drop all pretenses and yield to him.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #kinda dark!Jamil #In that he has learned to get what he wants #just not necessarily in a good way #Leona’s pep talk taken wrong 🙃 #but also reader's totally into it so #posting about this to keep myself accountable #because I really do wanna finish this fic #at the moment we're at about 2.5k words but a lot of that is still notes or at a drafy stage so we'll see where we end up #I will also be posting this to ao3 #I'm Birdieh over there #(and this reminds me of all the other fics I've not posted publicly but anyway I digress) #ner talks

[crepusculum-rattus]

fellas is it bad to Not tell your homie that you might not be around for much longer in reply

#yes this is how writing fitza has been going #srry i have a whole thing abt qphil being the man who waits and i’m Running with the idea #yes it’s bc i was thinking abt how most of the ppl on the bunker access list have left. and it’s mostly just phil now #and fit has probably Maybe joined that list depending on what happened to him #yeah i think i’m offically unwell and also making shit up as i go #also i’m Hella sleep deprived bc i stayed up way too late writing last night. bc i was Infected. ill even #anyway i’m making this more angsty than planned OOPS #once again. send help ❤️ i am like 2.5k words in how did this happen #i’m 90% sure this is Super out of character too but i’ve decided i do not care #🐀

[homosexual-fanfiction]

hmm... i dont want to lock myself in to super long chapters but the need to swap around the chapter breaks to up the drama is so strong

#i've been breaking chapters up approximately every ten pages of drafting so far #which usually word count geeeenerally doubles when i translate from outline to actual writing #so i'm looking at like probably a 6k average wordcount per chapter right now #which i think is nice and manageable #BUUUUUUUUT..... i do prefer to break chapters in terms of plot rather than in terms of length #BUTx2!!!!!!!!! i don't want to lock myself in to really long chapters cus they're kind of tiring. #but x 3 i don't want to slap breaks in for the sole purpose of 'yeah this is long enough cut it here' cus #like i said i prefer my breaks to depend on plot rather than length #idk. either way i'm going to adjust the chapter breaks once i actually finish outlining cus i'll have a better idea of the bigger picture #i'm just kind of publicly musing i guess #i probably will end up committing to longer chapters if that's what it takes to keep the plot broken up in a neater manner #throwback to 2019 when my strategy was 'i'll post a chapter every 2.5k' #can you fucking imagine #the negligible self would have been like 30 something chapters LOL #i did not know what the hell i was doing back then #hence why i imploded and deleted everything lol but we r back and we r thriving baby

[sam-glade]

Happy STS! What are your favorite character interactions to write? (arguments, scheming, banter, first meetings, chance encounters, things like that!)

Hi Nopal! Thank you for the question💜

I absolutely love writing slice-of-life vignettes, and cramming in as much worldbuilding and other information between the lines as I can. They'll more often than not include banter (because more often than not Gullin is involved). And it breaks my heart to cut 90% of them from the manuscript, but on the bright side, it means I can post them here and share them before the project is finished.

Conversely, I need to push myself to write arguments. A lot of my first drafts include characters acting too reasonable and talking like they had 10 years of therapy already (most of them didn't, not at this point).

#In Gifts of Fate there's a 2.5k words chapter #one scene #dialogue only #Gullin's pov #the main trio planning what to do with Lissan's pet demon #one of my beta readers called it 'a masterclass on catty queer men' #and I want that comment printed and framed #they aren't even talking about relationships #but Gullin sees his ex-through-circumstances #being very friendly with another guy #so... #ask and i shall answer #sts

[ofdetonation]

I think a lot of people perceive the Bakugou family dynamic as unhealthy, and some people have even claimed abuse (on the scale of Endeavor, which, umm, where did that come from?). My overall perception is this: they are two new parents trying to raise a single child together with no context on parenting. On top of that, Katsuki developed a powerful Quirk in a society where powerful Quirks are praised, and there is an environmental influence of which can easily be overlooked in favour of analysing the household influence.

Thus, I think it's important to look at every aspect of childhood development to determine the impact of multiple things.

A lot of this has to deal with nature vs. nurture: whether it is the parents' fault or the environment's. Often there is a sort of fault from both, but in these cases, there will always be a stronger fault on one side or the other. So, in the case of Katsuki, which one was more at fault?

THE NURTURE VIEW.

From what we've seen, Mitsuki is much like her son - brash, unyielding, and very firm in herself, willing to fight for what she believes in. In contrast, Masaru is more on the sensitive side, tends to shy away from conflict (or avoids them altogether), and is a lot more passive than his wife and son combined. Mitsuki leads the household, based on this distinction, and her parenting style reflects her personality. That is pretty much the same for Masaru.

From what I've been able to discern, Mitsuki relies on both authoritative and authoritarian parenting - in contrast, in my point of view, Masaru is a strong mix of permissive and authoritative parenting.

Now what in the fuck do they mean, you might ask? No stress! I have answers in the form of what I could understand from my educational psychology classes. I also definitely recommend researching them further yourself!

An authoritative parenting style is a happy medium that parents generally aim for. It's relatively open communication with their child, taking in their opinions, and giving them an understanding of action and consequence. There are high expectations for their child, but they are aware that their child is... Well, human. In terms of responsiveness and demand, they have a balance of both.

It's practically impossible to stay authoritative though, and there sure as hell ain't a book on parenting that tells you how. So yeah, I reckon Mitsuki and Masaru have the authoritative approach, but they do have their own approaches too:

An authoritarian approach is something pretty commonly seen in Asian culture and customs, and its meaning varies based on Western vs. Eastern standards. The main idea is that this parenting style is very parent-driven. There's a strong level of strictness, they rely on discipline, and generally speaking, they have more demand and less responsiveness - meaning that the child should listen because the parent knows better, or "because I said so". In Western views, this is generally disregarding of the child, almost "helicopter parent"-like, and are even considered nasty or mean.

Asian customs are less likely to view this so negatively. It is generally associated with a trust that the parent is doing this out of a place of concern and/or love; and, with some studies, an authoritarian approach with Asian-ethnic children has proved to carry positive effects similarly to authoritative parenting. (This wouldn't necessarily apply if Katsuki was born and raised outside of Japan - say, in Europe or the Americas.)

Meanwhile, permissive parenting is low demand, high response. These kinds of parents struggle to enforce rules and regulations, but are more emotionally in-tune with their children. They also tend to find ways to avoid conflict.

Sound familiar?

On top of an understanding of defined parenting styles, the Bakugou household is pretty stereotypical of an Asian household - heard of a tiger parent? It's a term to explain an extremely strict parenting style that seeks to create a high-achieving child, and it has a basis in Asian culture and custom. It can be one parent or both, and its origin is from an Asian-American professor with Chinese heritage, Amy Chua. (The phrase actually derives from her book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"; it's definitely... Something. There's a reason it was both positively and [very negatively] received when initially published in America.)

Understanding the commonality of the overall household dynamic is one thing. Furthermore, understanding that Horikoshi likely played on the concept and made it more extravagant in the name of humour is another.

The more unconventional part of their dynamic is Mitsuki and Masaru's overall perception of Katsuki's emotional needs - the authoritative (or in Masaru's case, the permissive) approach. Katsuki needed a sense of accomplishment, safety, and community; some people would probably consider sending Katsuki to live on the dorms after his kidnapping reckless or inconsiderate, considering that the school failed to keep Katsuki safe, but I believe they were thinking of meeting Katsuki's emotional needs. I mean, how else to tick off all three boxes?

The U.A. dorms provided a room of his own - a safety bubble. It meant that he could get a taste of living away from home - a sense of accomplishment - and being around his class more often would give him a greater sense of community, something he wouldn't have achieved otherwise. It's pretty likely he tried to isolate himself out of school, so this was kind of like... An encouragement.

We don't have nearly as much context of Katsuki's home life as we do for Shouto, for example, but I am inclined to believe that Mitsuki and Masaru were able to work as a team to provide for Katsuki the best they could. The reason I think both took on the ideal authoritative approach is because Mitsuki would have the discipline while Masaru would have the emotional understanding - with the two on opposing sides of the coin, they ultimately were able to strike a balance by working together. If either were absent, it's likely that Katsuki would've been much worse than he was. And it should be expected that they weren't perfect; Katsuki is an only child, after all.

While keeping the parenting styles in mind, we move on to...

THE NATURE VIEW.

Our context of Katsuki's interaction with his environment is much higher than our context of the Bakugou family dynamic. We see him interacting with his environment a lot more than his parents; on top of this, we also have a lot more contextual clues on what Katsuki's environment was, which helps determine its influence on Katsuki as a whole.

There are four environments that factor into a child's development: the physical, social, emotional, and economic environments. The presence - or lack thereof - these environments can determine how a child reacts further in life.

A physical environment is where they grew up in and their neighbourhood. We know that Katsuki is lucky to have grown up in a spacious house, thanks to Mitsuki being a successful model and Masaru being a successful fashion designer - not only that, but Katsuki frequently had access to trails and other nature-based areas, limiting the exposure to pollution in more densely populated areas. The neighbourhood that he grew up in, however... That would be of more debate.

Katsuki's neighbourhood influence bleeds into his social environment, which is the social circles he's been exposed to and how they ultimately influence his relationships. Having both parents there helped, of course, but Katsuki's exposure to some of the other boys in the neighbourhood and his growing popularity during preschool / primary school / middle school meant that Katsuki developed an understanding based on his peers.

This bit is crucial to remember; Katsuki had teachers and other children both praise him for a powerful, hero-like Quirk. Top that with the fact that Quirks are present in 80% of society for his generation, alongside people saying how powerful and amazing he'd be, and it's no surprise that Katsuki developed a strong sense of superiority among others. We have no indication that his parents treated him in the same way - if anything, the context suggests they were fighting against this - but we have some contextual support to indicate that everyone else put Katsuki on a pedestal.

It's likely this heavy appraisal of Quirks, and specifically his, that helped spur Katsuki into bullying Izuku for his Quirklessness. We know that wasn't his only reason; it's just not a stretch to assume that the social environmental influence meant that it would become something easy to target.

The emotional environment is very reliant on whether emotional needs are being met at home or not. As discussed in the nurture point of view, Mitsuki and Masaru were not perfect parents and did not always fulfil Katsuki's emotional needs at first, but it's safe to assume that they did their best as first-time parents - having Mitsuki and Masaru as oppositional in terms of disciplinary vs. emotionally in-tune would likely contribute to their ability to accommodate to Katsuki's needs.

Finally, the economic environment is the financial situation they've been raised in. We know that Katsuki comes from a fairly wealthy background - not only did he grow up in a two-story house in JAPAN, but he was able to give Kirishima a massive sum of money to repay him for the night vision goggles. It's obvious that his economic environment isn't a problem.

NATURE VS. NURTURE.

So it boils down to this: which impacted Katsuki more?

It's safe for us to determine that it's a clash of his parents' parenting style vs. his physical and social environment. It would ultimately be a deliberation between Mitsuki's authoritarian and Masaru's conflicting permissive approaches (alongside their combined authoritative approach), vs. the neighbourhood Katsuki was exposed to and the social circles that he grew up with. It's not to say that one didn't impact Katsuki at all; there was definitely some impact there on both sides, but if I had to choose...

The environmental influence wins all the way.

We have no contextual clues on Katsuki's upbringing, so we have to make assumptions based on the evidence we have - from what we know, Katsuki had a lot of freedom growing up. He would be allowed to go out for extended periods of time without his parents, whether it be to go into town or to visit forested areas (for bug catching, which we've seen a glimpse of, or the log incident). It would be safe to assume that 1) Mitsuki and Masaru knew that Katsuki would be capable of protecting himself when he developed his Quirk, and 2) there were likely rules set in place with reasonable consequence if Katsuki didn't listen. It's why I lean towards his parents being authoritative when they work together. Katsuki has been fortunate in the fact that his parents trust him with having freedom.

What we know of the neighbourhood and social environment is not nearly as ideal. Remember: Izuku was exposed to the same environment, seeing as they shared the same neighbourhood, and his context plays a vital aspect of understanding just how the environment influenced Katsuki as a whole.

Katsuki was never so bad before his Quirk. He teased, he was a bit nasty, but he was never malicious and treated Izuku as someone who would inevitably develop a Quirk like the rest of his generation. Furthermore, he was an extremely confident child. The problems arose the moment he developed his Explosion Quirk; developing his Quirk in school with others to witness it has been the most unfortunate part of his upbringing. As I've mentioned before, in the BNHA universe, Quirks are upheld as something that is now part of the norm. On top of that, powerful Quirks are appraised as hero-like - which, in Katsuki's context where he's always wanted to be a hero like All Might, only reaffirmed his stance and fed into his confidence. The confidence turned to egoism, and then into superiority. Contrast that with what we know about views of Quirklessness in that same generation...

Mitsuki mentions, during the home visits (in dub), that people were fawning over Katsuki for his Quirk and it didn't help anything - especially because he was already good at what he puts his mind to. In the sub, Mitsuki even mentions he "kept getting praised for shallow stuff". This is pretty telling that the environment and the people surrounding Katsuki played a heavy hand into how he turned out as a teenager; and, in going to U.A., Katsuki wasn't so exposed to these kinds of people, and the teachers actually understood Katsuki better than what most people do.

Of course it's important to address Mitsuki's approach to handling Katsuki, but bear in mind that Katsuki was not an easy child to handle with an environment that was actively working against his parents. They aren't the kind to ignore that he had an amazing Quirk, but they assumingly knew Katsuki's confidence would soar the moment his Explosion became a focal point.

Ignoring that the home visit scene was likely played for humour directed at a Japanese audience, Mitsuki only enacted firm discipline when Katsuki acted out of line. Think about it. She thwacked him upside the head, and then firmly disciplined him when he showed no manners towards his teachers and herself, not to mention she had a go at Katsuki for getting snappy with Masaru - even though she did the same thing. Otherwise, she showed a deep care for her son, an awareness of how he developed, an understanding of how the teachers viewed him (especially Aizawa), and the benefits of sending him into the dorm system.

Another bit of context is the importance of manners and courtesy in Japan. It's real easy to step out of line in Japan, and thus upholding certain mannerisms is vital to be viewed properly by others. Katsuki has never really cared, hence why he's such a delinquent when you first know him... But it's not a stretch to determine that Mitsuki and Masaru want to abide by manners and courtesy. Imagine trying to rein in your unruly child in front of very important figures which culturally expect good manners. (In contrast, to try and give a bit of insight for Western vs. Eastern culture, Aussies... Don't stake a huge importance on this. I've had casual conversations with mentors before, and generally, we'll take more offence to being called buddy or champ before a swear word.)

Of course, everyone interprets Katsuki's influences differently. Some people may determine that the parents were at a stronger fault for Katsuki's upbringing, others may say it was a balance of both. I think that in a general context, however, the social environment that Katsuki was exposed to growing up shaped him into who he is, but with no way for his parents to sufficiently fight this, they were kind of... Doomed from the start.

#long post / #/ i just pulled 2.5k words outta fuckin nowhere for this kfjvnjdn #/ i feel like i went off the rails a bit but basically they did what they could #/ but when ur up against an entire social view of smth it's. real fuckin hard #/ i also just really love the b.kg family #/ i'll do hcs of em eventually #💥 | ARROGANT BOY‚ CALM LIKE A BOMB. ╱ hc.

[kazumahashimoto]

society if more degrassi characters were bisexual

#there's a couple relationships missing here because i ran out of space but. that's fine #also i just finished my latest rewatch of tng but i didn't get to next class yet so. the next class parts are foggier #anyway. love this show. what ghe fuck goes on #updated with names for pere my friend pere #not featured: winston or drew but dw about it too hard #also i put my maya zoe moment into docs and it's 2.5k words! awesome. i enjoy them