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appleblueberry-pie · 2 days

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Hello again, I hope you are having a good day. May I please request for Yandere Nanami wherein he miscalculates how long his business trip would be and he comes home to emotionally wrecked and hungry darling ( He locked them in the closest as a punishment prior) which leads to hurt comfort between the two

Nanami opened the front door and kicked off his shoes, sighing in disappointment at his timing and at how late at night he got back at. Traffic was terrible, his shoes weren't as comfortable as they were this morning, and he missed you terribly. He ran his fingers through his hair that no longer mattered now that he was indoors and put his suitcase out of sight.

He was going to call out that he was home, but reminded himself that he still had you cooped up in that shitty basement. He walked through the house and into the kitchen to finally get you a glass of water. He was only supposed to be on that business trip for around two days and be back home by the time the third day ended. The basement was very spacious, but even he had his limits in there. Which is why it was a great punishment, in his mind. He had enough of your mouth and you attempted to escape after almost sending him over the edge all in one day. But he still worried for you. There were no lights or any sense of comfort in there. At this point, he just wants you in his arms again. The thought makes his heart race in excitement. You must feel so lonely, feel so anxious, so cold, and

You freeze when you turn and see Nanami standing a few feet away from you, watching you shove your fifth slice of bread into your mouth. The two of you mirrored the same look of horror as you acknowledged one another. Nanami's face contorts into one of realization while yours continues to drop. Your stomach twists in fear at the sight of your captor finding you outside of your confinement and suddenly you feel nauseous and no longer desire any kind of elements of nutrition.

Pieces of food that weren't swallowed fall out of your mouth in fear and surprise and you scatter off to the nearest room with a lock and you slam it shut, fiddling with the lock and somehow manage to turn it with terribly shaky hands. It's hard to breath and you hyperventilate as you scoot into a corner, keeping yourself huddled.

Kento was still stuck in place, his mouth open in complete shock. You had ransacked the entire kitchen. He lets his eyes scan over everything on the ground. Almost nothing in the cabinets or fridge was left untouched, so many things left open and touched by his poor, poor girl's fingers. Juice, crackers, the bread you tore into, butter, cereal, refrigerated rice, half-eaten boxes of vegetables and fruits, uncooked noodles......it didn't end there.

The more his eyes found laying around, the heavier his heart got. This was all his fault. He didn't mean to......do this to you. Not at all. His eyes flutter shut as he rubs them, a sigh leaving his mouth. This wasn't supposed to happen. He inhaled sharply to gather more courage to step past the obvious signs of severe neglect he had done to you.

He could hear your fast-paced breathing from outside of the guest-bedroom and shakes his head in shame. He was so fucking ashamed of being so irresponsible with taking care of you. He was supposed to be your lover, your caretaker, the one you should be able to trust. But it seems like he can't even do any of those things right. He was wrong. "I'm sorry." His throat felt like it was constricting his vocals as he chokes out the apology. No kind of words or affirmations could change what he did to you and he wanted to be able to help you see that.

His face was so close to the door, as if he could speak through it into your heart. The last thing he'd do is force you into anything. He deserved to work for your trust back. "I'm so sorry, baby, please." There wasn't much he could make himself say. His ears picked up on your silent sobs and he dropped his forehead on the door, his hands on it as well. "I'm not gonna hurt you, I just wanna see you. It's been so long, hm? Since we last saw each other? I just want to hold you."

You didn't know how to feel. You just did something so very, very wrong. This is the type of behavior that gets you in the basement and a chain on your ankle for decoration. You broke out and practically flipped the kitchen upside-down. What isn't he going to do to you??? You didn't even realize yourself speaking through your tears. Constant 'leave me alone's slipped through your lips as you cried. You were so damn scared of what he'd do to you.

Outside the door, Kento shakes his head at your words and presses the side of his face to the door to hear you better. "No, no, no, no, baby. I won't hurt you, I promise. Can you please trust me just this once? I just want to make sure you're okay. You're hungry, I can tell. Just let me help you and you can get all of the food you want, okay??" Kento shakes the doorknob subconsciously, which makes you gasp in fear. Kento flinches away from it when he hears you make the sound and immediately and tells you he won't do it again.

He continues trying to verbally sooth you through the door, telling you repeatedly that it's okay. "....Everyone has limits. And I pushed you to yours." You wipe your face of your tears and push yourself to your feet.

Slowly, you hesitate, but take your quiet steps towards the door. Nanami can't hear anything on the other side. Are you okay? Why are you quiet? Are you trying to escape through the window??? It's bolted. Never mind. He's worried. "Darling?" He silently whispers. All he gets is the sound of his own breaths.

Then the loud sound of the lock clicks and he takes a step back. The door cracks open, extremely slowly. It's almost impossible to tell. You only leave enough space to look through about 1 inch to peek at him through the door. And even with that much to look at, he can tell you are so scared. He shouldn't have done this. The constant anxiety this is giving him continues to make his stomach cramp. A wobbly smile makes its way onto his face. "There she is! Can you-.....please let me take you out of that room?" He stumbles over his words, his arms awkwardly spreading out to seem as if he's friendly.

The silence you let grow only leaves room for more interpretation. You just stare at him with that stone cold eye. Almost as if you're trying to see through him. But nothing is hiding behind his face but the constant stress he's getting from stressing you out. He obviously loves you too much. He gets overprotective sometimes.

You open the door and step out and his shoulders relax as he very carefully looks over you. You used the bucket. Which was good. So, you were at least somewhat clean. You just looked.....hungry. Your face seemed slimmer, your eyes sunken in exhaustion(not that much, but he's great at details when it comes to you).

Before you could stop him, he was cleaning the kitchen and got to running you a bath and making dinner.

#yandere #yandere x reader #reader #yandere x you #yandere character #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere nanami #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #yandere nanami kento #yandere nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #yandere jjk nanami kento #yandere jjk #yandere jjk fluff

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buckttommy · 20 hours

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Tommy calling Buck “kid” in context of Buck being his Lawyer Apprentice.., do you see the vision?

babe i see the vision so clearly it may as well be tattooed to my eyelids. i didn't finish suits but whatever this is my au, i'm playing with it now.

so we have buck, law school drop-out who, through a little bit of "magic" (hacking, thanks hen) bumps himself up to the top of the list of possible interns out of harvard. he's trying to save money to get his sister out of an abusive situation, and he's terrified because he stopped hearing from her ages ago. he doesn't even know if she's alive at this point, but. he has to try. if nothing else, he has to try and law is kind of the only thing he knows how to do even a little bit, so. here we are. he's hired on as an intern at tommy's law firm and is told he's going to be working under kinard. everyone who says it always accompanies the words with an apologetic little wince which is... not ideal.

apparently kinard is a hardass. he gets results - probably why his firm keeps him on; his close rate is fucking impeccable - but. that's about as far as he goes. buck hears the words "asshole" "motherfucker" and "prick" to describe him well before he meets the man himself. so he's surprised when tommy kinard is... well. unexpected is the only word he can think of. he greets him with a smile and handshake, listens and nods intently when buck speaks, and the man in front of him is SO different from the man buck's built up in his head that he gets a little whiplash. he was expecting some old, white, cocky, alpha male, shithead. what he's not expecting is a gorgeous, attentive, fifty-something who actually looks and talks to him like he's a real person.

buck knows tommy for all of a week before he realizes that every single person in this building, and possibly tommy's entire career field, has gotten him all wrong and he's so fascinated by the man he sees underneath.

tommy is serious and he is intense. those things are all true. but... he's not mean. he's not even unkind. even when buck is late for work. even when he spills coffee on his desk. he waves him off and shushes him when he babbles an apology, for christ's sake. buck has no idea how tommy got this unforgiving and shitty reputation but he's shocked by the fact that he wants to learn. none of it was supposed to last forever. this job was a means to an end, a means to get maddie out of a shitty situation, but. it's more than that now. it's more than that because, when tommy learned what he was trying to do, he wrote him a check to get her on a plane and set up in an apartment (deposit + last month's rent + first month's rent) without batting an eye.

it's more than that because when tommy looks him in the eye and calls him "kid," eyes dark, body so close they may as well be touching, kissing, it sounds like teasing. it sounds like hunger. it's more than that because when tommy calls him "evan," his voice soft and deep and fond, it sounds like it could be so much more.

yeah. yeah.

buck is so. fucking. screwed.

#goddamnit cedric why would you do this to me #[sighs and adds to future wips pile]#tv: 911 #jack answers mail #bucktommy #future wips

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cb97percent · 6 hours

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Aphrodisiacs · 「Sex Gratia」

➥ Boss!Minho x Girlboss Employee!Reader (f) — 2.6k

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — Quid pro quo, morally corrupt characters.

➥ Your boss has never really doubted your skills, but he does think you’re so fucking hot when you’re angry.

The world of investment banking may have been cutthroat, but so were you.

You worked hard, for sure. You worked your ass off just to break the legs of the high horses these scotch-drinking, steak-eating, country club-frequenting smug motherfuckers were sitting on. To rub it in their faces that not only could a woman make it in their world, but also she could do it better than them. That being said, in order to get what they got, you had to play by their rules.

You didn’t end up where you were by making friends and being a vanilla goodie-two-shoes, which meant your understanding of professional ethics and morals loosened up over time like pants after Thanksgiving. So what if several hundred dollar bills appeared on some notary’s desk? So what if a little flirtation occurred during a negotiation lunch? All that mattered to your boss was that shit got done. He was actually very encouraging of your little misdemeanors as long as you brought those millions to your firm, and like the employee of the month you were, you listened to him.

It had nothing to do with the fact that he was hot as fuck.

Lee Minho was the youngest associate that ever made partner, and you may have been heavily thirsting behind his back ever since he stepped foot in here, much like the entire floor he was commanding. His sex appeal reached beyond his mesmerizing looks—it was the way he carried himself. The serious, mysterious aura around him, his brief manner of speaking, and the way he took no shit from people… He would cock a single brow when he was annoyed at somebody, and you would feel yourself get physically wet.

The power he held, jesus…

Nevertheless, you never made it obvious to him how weak he got you in the knees. If anything, you looked so convincingly unfazed by his presence that Minho wasn’t able to figure out why you weren’t throwing yourself at him like the literal rest of the company.

You knew it was annoying him a bit because his flirting was getting gradually aggressive with you, and this had become your singular source of entertainment lately.

Workplace seduction meant class. You would never be like one of those regular bitches openly salivating right in front of his face and stroke his already massive ego. He was going to get on his knees for you, or you didn’t want it at all.

And things were going pretty much on your terms until all the unholy thoughts you had about him turned into pure murderous intent with a company-wide email blast.

REF: Division 25 Appointment Starting October 1, Jennifer Pratt will serve as the new Division 25 head. Please fill out the form linked below for organizational flowchart restructuring.

Your blood went freezing cold before it turned into molten lava in your veins.

Division… 25… Your division… that you had been… waiting… for a promotion… to be the head of…

Who the absolute fuck was this Jennifer cunt anyway?! Was this one of Lee Minho’s side pieces? How come you had never heard of this person before? Was he fucking blind to your track record?

“Oh, hell to the fucking no.”

You immediately jumped from your desk, fuming out of your ears and ready to throw hands, and stormed into your boss’ office, not giving a single fuck about what he was doing inside. He could be talking to world leaders for all you fucking cared. Minho looked up from his laptop when his door banged open and witnessed his associate panting through her nose.

“By all means, you didn’t need to knock,” he put his pen down and held your gaze with sheer displeasure on his face.

“Mr. Lee, I’m so sorry!” his secretary dashed after you utterly apologetic, “I tried to tell her—”

“It’s okay, Yun. Please close the door and lock it from the outside,” he instructed in a dangerously calm tone. You didn’t even wait for the door to be fully closed before you started your confrontation.

“Can I have a fucking word with you?”

“You already are,” he reclined in his leather chair.

“Let’s cut the bullshit, shall we, Mr. Lee?” you approached his desk and slammed your hands on it, “I want an explanation.”

“Since when do I provide explanations to you?”

“Since you took my goddamn promotion away from me,” you spat, not even paying any mind that he could, in fact, fire you on the spot, “You know how high my billables are. I’m the reason you moved into your ridiculously expensive condo!”

A very brief silence followed after your blaring declaration. All Minho did was raise his brows and break into the faintest of smiles.

“Didn’t know you were interested in my personal life to that extent,” he tilted his head and clasped his hands on his lap.

Busted.

Why the heck would you even bring that up? Now he was going to have ideas that weren’t exactly false, especially with your ‘unaffected’ façade loudly cracking.

“It’s not exactly classified information,” you stood tall on your feet, suddenly much calmer than your initial rampage, “Everybody’s talking about that.”

“Are you?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Fine,” he crossed his legs into a more comfortable position, “How far are you willing to go for your promotion?”

“Excuse you?”

“If you want something from me, you need to give me something in return,” Minho shrugged, “How far are you willing to take it?”

It was at that moment that you knew you lost. Months of dragging him through hell, teasing him, verbally or accidentally physically, just to get him to kneel for you, but now he had the upper hand. On his face, there was the exact same smile you flashed him every time you scored a goal against him. You could either say fuck you and walk out, throwing everything you had ever worked for into the trash, or you could accept defeat and hand over this promotion to some cunt.

But there was a secret third option.

You knew it, he knew it, and he was smirking at you all satisfied, thinking he got you cornered whereas it just meant that the cost of getting what you wanted was to fulfill a raging fantasy of yours.

This wasn’t a doomsday scenario. It was fucking payday.

“You can’t deny there’s this thing between us,” Minho stood up and put his hands in his pockets, “Did you know every time we’re in the same room, they issue a DefCon 3 warning? It’s that dangerous.”

He started walking towards you with slow steps, staring you down the entire time. If he thought his intense gaze on you was supposed to be intimidating, he would be sorely mistaken. This was a lot more like torturous foreplay for you where he would deny you any contact until you forced him to touch you.

“Interesting. Every time we’re scheduled for a meeting together, you wear pencil skirts like this,” he stopped right behind you, “I can see the shape of your ass perfectly.”

Your eyes automatically closed when he stole a whiff from your hair and let out a content hum. You felt his hands on your waist and they started sliding down.

“Who told you I have a thing for g-strings?” he caressed your ass, his breathing seeping into your body down your nape, “Is everyone also talking about how I’m an ass man?”

“No,” you swallowed, hoping he wasn’t able to hear your pulse.

“So it’s your personal observation after seeing me drool over yours.”

Why, yes, it was. It didn’t take a genius to notice how he always checked you out when you walked past him, or when you dropped something around him, which happened way too often when you two were alone.

“What’s it gonna take for me to eat your pussy? Your promotion?” he breathily whispered into your left ear, “I just wanna watch how wet I get you. You know I do.”

“No.”

“Pity,” he tutted and let out a disappointed exhale, “In that case—”

“No, I’m going to watch you,” you finally turned around and faced him, “If I like what I see, you can eat my pussy.”

His lips parted in contentment. Too much of it. You could literally see all the mischievous lights flickering in his eyes.

“You should know, that hard-to-get thing you’re playing with me turns me the fuck on.”

“I know,” you subtly wrapped your fingers around his tie and started dragging him back to his chair.

You made yourself comfortable on the smooth surface of his desk as Minho sat down in front of you and spread his legs wide. His hard on was straining his slacks, and you couldn’t help the urge to drag your high heels around the outline of his cock. Minho’s hands were running up your legs and caressing them all over, but you stopped him before he could reach your thighs.

“Shh,” you pushed your heel on his chest, “Let me see you.”

He unbuckled his belt for you, eyes keenly focused on your impending reaction, and sprung his erection free. It was fucking impossible not to drool at his delicious girth, and you licked your lips out of complete instinct.

“You like what you see, huh?” he grinned, satisfaction in his voice palpable.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

All he did was stare into your eyes, and you were hypnotized. He slowly spread your legs as wide as he could and pressed his thumb on your underwear, just to feel some dense moisture on his skin.

“Then how come you are this wet if you don’t?”

There was no point in pretending you didn’t want to fuck this man’s brains out anymore.

Eyes still holding yours captive, Minho slid the piece of stained garment down your legs, and your skirt up your waist to put the sight he was yearning for on display. Your pussy, glistening with a thick coat of slick he was the cause of.

“Lick,” you commanded him firmly.

He buried his face between your legs and licked several long drags on your folds, then chuckled to himself.

“You’re dripping on my desk,” he briefly looked up at you again, “I’m never gonna clean this up, you know.”

Then his ministrations turned even more torturous. He wasn’t even licking you anymore—it was only the tip of his tongue touching your clit in frequent intervals.

“Stop teasing!”

“No,” he spread your lips further apart, “You told me to lick. I’m licking.”

You were getting so frustrated that you started rolling your hips on his face to get a bit more friction. It felt a bit too good, and you couldn’t control the volume of the moan that spilled from your lips.

“Shh, quiet,” Minho squeezed your thighs to warn you, “Do you want somebody to walk in on us?”

“If it’s Hyunjin, he’s welcome to join. I have three holes,” you shamelessly grinned at him, “Come on, give me more.”

Minho trapped your clit between his lips and gave it a strong suck before completely ceasing all stimulation.

“If you want more, I’m fucking you.”

“Not if I fuck you first.”

That was all it took. He basically jumped from his seat and aligned his cock with your dripping entrance, currently ruining some documents you were sitting on. His hands immediately held onto your ass to pull your body close.

“So… fucking… wet…” he groaned while he was sinking into you, “Did you want me that much?”

“As if you’re not rock hard and throbbing inside me right now.”

“I never once denied how much I wanted this pussy. You’re in my worst fantasies.”

Minho threw his head back once he bottomed out whereas your eyes were rolling back. Now you knew for a fact how fucking stupid it was not to fuck him any sooner.

Way sooner, for that matter.

“Oh fuck, this— It’s so— So fucking good!”

“Too full?” he grabbed you by the nape, “You can’t get this from the Hwang guy.”

Once he started moving inside you, his kisses quickly turned into a sloppy makeout session where you were biting into each other’s lips. His growls in your mouth were forcing you to clench around him.

“Do people also talk about how many surfaces I have in my new condo?” he panted against your lips.

“No?”

“A lot, and I wanna fuck you on all of them. You’ll leave a trail of cum everywhere,” he shoved three of your fingers inside his mouth and licked all over them, “Rub your clit for me.”

The space Minho gave you to comfortably pleasure yourself allowed him to see your torso better. He started salivating at how your tits were bouncing in your blouse, and he loosened a couple of your buttons in a rush to free them. To fondle them. To suck on them to his heart’s content.

“Call me Minho. I wanna hear you moan my name.”

When he latched his lips on your neck, leaving open mouth kisses everywhere like a vampire’s last chance for survival, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself even if you wanted to.

“Minho!”

“Just like that,” he inhaled your lips again, “Ride it, baby. Take what you need from me.”

You squeezed his jaw between your thumb and index fingers, then started declaring your demands.

“You’re gonna give me my promotion.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re gonna increase my commission rate.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re gonna give me an expense account.”

“Yes, I am.”

“And you’re gonna eat my pussy whenever I want. Day or night.”

“Sit on my face in a board of directors meeting for all I care. Total free use for you,” he gritted his teeth, “but you’re going on at least one date with me.”

You inadvertently laughed and kissed him. As you were melting in each other’s mouths again, Minho found a delicious fucking spot inside you.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you leaned on the desk to support yourself and started rubbing your clit fervently to your climax, “Hit that hard. Faster. Faster!”

When you finally snapped, you clenched so hard around Minho that it forced him to cum. He rode out both your orgasms at a declining pace, and his movements eventually came to a halt. He stole one last kiss from you before pulling out, then snagged a couple of wet wipes suspiciously sitting on his drawer to clean you up.

“You’re sorely mistaken if you think I’m gonna let this go,” you declared while putting your underwear back on, “That promotion is mine.”

Minho sighed in exasperation as he buckled his belt, then buttoned your blouse for you.

“It’s fake,” he emphatically uttered, but all you gave in return was a blank stare.

“What is?”

“The announcement you threw a tantrum about,” he sat back on his chair, “We’re doing phishing tests. You should learn to check your incoming email extensions.”

You had done quite a few pretty impulsive and stupid things in your life, but never once did you feel like an utter dumbass like you were feeling right now.

“So the promotion was…”

“There’s no Jennifer Pratt. It was yours all along.”

You felt played. It wasn’t even played; you felt scammed, but you weren’t able to help your laughter anyway. Minho laughed along with you, then asked you the question he was after all along.

“So do I pick you up at 8 on Saturday, or what?”

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Yup. Reboot in its rightful place. Let's do pregame before the sequel.

✉ Enjoyed this? It would be cool of you to reblog so that my work can reach more people.

#lee know smut #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know x you #lee know scenarios #lee know imagines #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz scenarios #skz imagines

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cialovesklopp · 2 hours

Text

prologue

❪ masterlist — ❫

summary — it's no secret anymore to anyone that follows f1 that mercedes is doing bad. something just isn't going the way it should. the silver arrows are going through a rough phase which leads toto to become a bit more creative about recrutement.

song — mercedes [ brent faiyaz ]

warnings — light mention of death and toxic environments

word counts — 5k

cia’s quick rambles — so sorry for the long wait, exams came up and i couldn't find enough time to edit this over. i'm so excited for this and hope i can make it justice to all the other good max stories.

— july 2023

there was always a certain sense of belonging that people attributed to specific persons or locations. often it was due to certain attachments and feelings people had grown for those persons or places that created this invisible bond. but it had never been like that for aaliyah.

she failed to form connections, to embrace attachments to people or things. like a program glitch in a computer, she couldn't fulfill the command despite the correct codes. she never truly felt rooted in any place — she never belonged somewhere.

she was too smart to be here, to sit in a back with other people that attended this class of university. yet the fear of her own intellect hindered her from leaving it. going to university was like going to school again — one schedule and one job. nothing else to worry about for the moment. she was relieved of the concern for something else.

going to university eased the pain of knowing that she felt like she would never belong somewhere.

after her father died, all she had received for giving ao much love was rejection. as if an unspoken rule had been set up, that stated that aaliyah had been the cause for it. and it certainly screwed up the rest of the life she had lived till now.

aaliyah had been destined to do great things — she remembered the way her middle school teachers told her that she would be the one to cure cancer. she had always been intelligent, not just smart — but terrifyingly intelligent.

they would laugh if they saw her now and where she was. wasting her potential away at a simple university in munich.

sometimes she looked out of the window and the resentment towards her family, especially her mother, burned hot in her stomach. getting lost in her thoughts meant her mind wandering off to far and opening boxes that were meant to stay closed. memories being replayed that contained secrets she wanted to take to her grave with her.

she may be closed off towards others but it was an efficient way to live. to protect her heart from disappointment again. she did not have the space to let a lot of people in again.

her heart had built a thick stone wall around itself after the accident. an accident, she would always blame herself for. everything was different from now: she was left with nothing but the void created by the loss of the only thing that held any meaning in her life.

now she felt like an empty shell of her former self, with no purpose or path to follow. the man who had said, a man with no purpose is no man knew what he was talking about.

aaliyah was walking on an endless journey that seemed to have no finishing line, a particular hopelessness gripping her tighter with each step she took. and it felt like an invisible string was always pulling her back.

tugging at her harshly till she fell back to where she started. it was a vicious circle, a haunting loop of pain — one that seemed to take no end. aaliyah was simply lost and no amount of therapy sessions could cure the inner pain she wandered around with.

“just one more day,” aaliyah murmured to herself. it was her typical mantra she told herself everyday to calm herself down, to reassure her that she was not caught in her past life anymore.

there were always the easier days and the harder days that needed assurance. days she passed on ease were often spent with eva. harder days however had her shivering in her bed, her entire body shaking and freezing.

she sat down on her usual spot in her physics and thermodynamics that were part of her engineering degree, her mind shutting down again while her eyes travelled around the room. it felt good to be able to think of something else when your brain was working twenty-four seven. when thousands of thoughts travelled through her brain every second and seemed to over analyze every information too quickly.

but something felt weirdly off today. the room was busy, full with more people than usual. this wasn’t a class for just anybody — people in here were ready to get their degrees in engineering. this class could compare to a harvard’s law class in terms of difficulty and intelligence. not everyone was able and allowed to take it and yet today the room was bustling with more people than usually.

aaliyah noticed the long queue outside the door, filled plenty with faces that she had seen on campus but all unfamiliar to her. she was not one to usually look for socialisation when it wasn’t exactly necessary. in addition to that there was also a feeling of anticipation, lingering lightly in the air. she was curious what all the turmoil was about but at the same time, she was reminded of caution towards it. the less she knew, the less were the chances to be entangled in it.

she smiled when her professor — who was her favorite — walked in and aaliyah instantly remarked that even he seemed excited about something. so she had definitely missed an important detail. but what exactly?

just like in every class, the professor began with reading out the attendance list, aaliyah lifting her hand to confirm her presence. she was surprised however when her professor then sent everyone else, that had not been named, out of the class.

“everyone whose name i have not called for the attendance of my class may leave now. i’m sure you all have your classes where you’re supposed to be today,” said her professor loudly, so that even in the back it was clear who was welcomed and who was not. aaliyah turned around and was surprised by the large number of men who all walked out disappointedly.

the rest exchanged excited whispers, all giddy about something but she couldn’t care less. it wasn’t like she had any friends in her class anyway. she wasn’t the only girl that took this class but she was one of the few that seemed to excel in it. and for some universal reason, women found it easier to be jealous than to work together.

their class started just like always, with one of them presenting their work about the mechanical piece they had been assigned to design as homework. the professor went on with his class, and aaliyah felt herself drifting off, her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier with every minute that passed. another impact of her insomnia that plagued her in the night. even running on several cups of coffee wasn’t doing it for her anymore, so that she resorted to sugar to stay awake.

she flinched, jolting awake when there was a knock on their door. she watched the way her professor’s lips turned upwards, forming into a smirk as he turned towards the door. “come in,” he said and in walked a man, tall and formally dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black pants. he oozed a certain air of authority that had everyone quieten.

the atmosphere in the room changed instantly, aaliyah noticing her seat neighbour’s eyes widening but all she could observe was that he definitely did not belong here. he was definitely overdressed in comparison to her loose grey sweatpants that she had matched with a sweater that had yale university printed on. the irony of it.

her professor greeted the man like an old friend, making it clear to aaliyah that the two knew each other and it wasn’t a mandatory visit like the others they had gotten. however to her she did not know of his significance, completely left in the dark.

“so for today we have a special guest some of you may already know,” he interrupted them from their work, everyone stopping what they were currently doing to listen to him. “he is an old friend of mine and owed me a favor. but i’m going to let him present himself.”

the instant the guest began to speak, aaliyah could immediately make his austrian accent out. she was sure to have seen the man somewhere before but her brain, that was usually running at one-eighty, was failing her tragically.

“some of you may know me from racing, others just from motosport — but for the rest who do not: i am toto wolff and i’m the team chef of the mercedes-amg formula one team as well as the ceo of mercedes-benz motorsport.”

— so apparently, they had a celebrity in the room with them. explains the queue outside, aaliyah thought to herself.

“for those who do not follow motorsport as much: formula one is the elite of what concerns motosport. it’s the best against the best that compete there and the world of f1 is constantly changing due to this. as eighth time constructor’s champions we know that and what is expected of us. but for you, who are the future of engineering, i think it’s important that you get a realistic insight into what that actually contains.”

aaliyah now understood what all the turmoil really was about. they didn’t just have anybody in front of them — they were speaking to engineering royalty. not in the sense of wolff actually working in engineering but he was the reason the best worked with the best. because they absolutely needed to excel.

standing in front of them with their professor sitting down at his desk, he began to speak and tell them about the world of motorsport and the constant changing requirements they had to adapt to. he instantly had all of them hanging onto every of his words, captivating them with the way he spoke about the subject.

the main point of his entire talk was of course mercedes amg and its evolution; however he also highlighted the complexity of the entire motorsport business and how the industry actually worked. something that reality was hiding from them. it was a big field that covered all kinds of sections. aaliyah listened closely even though she didn’t see herself ever working in that kind of environment.

who would even hire her?

when the talk ended and students were allowed to ask questions, she found herself drifting off again and started to sketch mindlessly into her college block. it wasn’t that she shied away or conceived her fellow students as annoying; she just found socialisation exhausting and it wasn’t like they were going out of her way to speak with her.

her existence was only acknowledged by them when they required something from her, leaving her to always sit all alone in her row. her presence faded there into the loneliness and solitude she felt comfortable with. now she wouldn’t want to change it anymore.

after the whole questioning round, toto challenged the class to design a specific piece for a car to apply what they had learned the entire semester long. something that aaliyah was able to do in her sleep now. it was one of the rare occasions where she liked to let her brain run crazy to overanalyze every detail. to say that aaliyah was a perfectionist would be a clear understatement.

it was the curse of a mind that raced ahead of the rest, interpreting sometimes more than what was needed and leaving behind a lonely trail that she herself couldn’t always understand.

it was no surprise to her that she finished her sketch earlier than the others. however instead of just leaving it like that and calling toto over to see if she had gotten it right — which she had of course — she continued to develop her idea, letting her mind do its own work.

it wasn’t really refining that aaliyah was doing. the perfectionist in herself would call it stepping outside of comfort zones — and as long as it worked, no one cared anymore that there had been one. it was something her mother had taught her.

gloria, aaliyah’s mother was no saint. and she had enforced the lifestyle to aaliyah of finding loopholes in the system whenever she could. last time aaliyah had spoken to her had been two years ago, shortly before the accident.

possessing the knowledge that her own mother did not come by to see how her daughter was doing who was fighting between life or death — that had done it for aaliyah. cutting her mother off had probably been one of the easiest and yet also things she had accomplished. it wasn’t exactly a secret but it also wasn’t something she just shared with anyone in order to let the deep-etched wound in her heart heal.

the whole trauma-dumping aspect and all that.

caught up in her mind, aaliyah didn’t notice toto going around and looking at what the students had produced. his eyes stopped once they fell on aaliyah’s drawing and a slight look of surprise appeared on his face when he saw her drawing.

it was more like the astonishment and impression that appeared on his face when his eyes caught her sketch — he had given the same task to all the classes, especially those at harvard, and while they had all completed the task no one had ever thought further than the solution.

just like math they had solved the equation; found the x and that was it. they did not think about the correlation in which the answer might be related with the task or how they could give it more depth.

toto walked back down to the front where the professor sat and pointed discreetly at aaliyah who still seemed caught up in her thoughts.

“who is she?”

a mishevous twinkle lit up in the professor’s eyes. “ahh, that would be one of my students,” he retorted playfully.

“i’m serious.” he replied with a dry chuckle.

the professor looked at aaliyah, studying her in an interesting way, trying to take her all in again. “the student you’re so interested in is aaliyah prince. she’s one of my top student.”

toto nodded, his brain processing the information. “she’s smart. you’re teaching them well.”

“i can assure you she’s more than smart. it’s all her brain.” he had seen where toto wanted to go. one did not have to be an idiot or live behind the moon to know that mercedes was doing badly at the moment.

and he would be lying if he denied his soft spot he had grown for the black student. especially after find out out what she had all gone through.

the professor stood up, leaving toto with a perplexed expression. he cut the working phase in order for them to compare their results. aaliyah looked up and secretly took her airpods out to listen what they had to say.

she did not need any confirmation to know that her exercise was done correctly — it wasn’t really to sound (überheblich) but she had designed the same thing a hundred times before for exam preparation. so she only listened half-mindedly to what the others had to present. who were trying their best to impress the f1 team chef.

a small smile made its way onto her lips when she saw the message her best friend had sent her. with eva studying psychology and ethics, she often had more time than aaliyah and usually finished class earlier than her. and the two girls had started the habit to always get lunch together when possible — it was often the one thing aaliyah looked most forward to during the day.

class finally ended and she was one of the first persons to pack her things together and leave however her professor had other plans.

“frau prince, könnte ich kurz mit ihnen sprechen?” he asked her and aaliyah slowly trodded back into the room. she suppressed the growl her stomach let out and waited patiently for what her professor had to say. — could i speak to you quickly

her professor pointed to toto, who was still mustering her with a skeptical yet curious glance. “he is the one who would like to talk to you.”

“me?” she asked perplexed.

toto nodded. “your drawing was very impressive. you thought ahead of the task and developed it to make it more than just a simple design. that’s exactly what we need.”

“for what?”

“a job,” toto replied in a short way. “we need someone like you and you do seem to fill out all the requirements.”

aaliyah looked at him confusingly. “excuse me sir, i don’t want to be rude but do you usually give out jobs to students after giving a lecture?”

toto let out a small-wholehearted laugh. “no, i actually do not. you’re a special case i guess.”

was zum himmelswillen, aaliyah thought in her mind as she looked at the man in front of her. and people told her she was crazy sometimes.

she pinched herself, just to make sure that she was not dreaming this and still in class and stared at toto with wide eyes. she was no one special, she did not come from huge money and she had a huge past that she would prefer if it stayed hidden.

aaliyah couldn’t leave, even if she wanted to. all roads led back here anyway.

“and this job… where and what would it be?” she inquired carefully.

“i want you to become your new chief technical engineer. well not officially but i want you to fill someone’s position while they’re on personal vacation.”

her professor smirked at her whereas aaliyah’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“i thought you needed the best of the best? i’m sure there are thousands of people who probably meet the requirements you have and have the actual experience. i know nothing about formula 1 and racing cars.”

“maybe but i think a fresh pair of eyes would do us some good. and i’ve been told you have a degree in physics which is incredible at her age.” he reached for his bag and pulled out a small green card. “think about it and then give me a call.”

“why me? if it’s because of the task, everyone finished it and got it correct.”

“but they didn’t think further than the basic task which you did. you thought ahead, developed your starting idea and that’s exactly what we need right now. innovation. someone to think outside of the box.”

he bid goodbye to her professor, waved one last time to aaliyah with a small smile and then left the room. her eyes did not leave the door, even after he had left the room as she stared into the distance. she had already forgotten eva and their planned lunch date.

she looked at the card in front of her and turned it around to inspect it more. it was probably the weirdest thing to have happened to her in the past two years.

the thought of leaving, as nice as it sounded, also terrified her deeply. petrified her mind when she wondered whether she could. she had rebuilt a life here, created a new identity that was not instantly connected with the pain and trauma she had to go through.

she wasn’t aaliyah, the stupid girl from back home anymore. who had mistaken attachment for love and fallen deeply into a trap that could be described as the demise of her life. the peripety if her life story was ever made into a movie.

“i can see the wheels turning in your head from here,” her professor tore her out of her thoughts and aaliyah turned.

she let out a small chuckle, staring at the card in front of her. “this is probably the weirdest thing that has happened to me since i started here.”

“could also be seen as the best thing,” her professor replied.

“i don’t know how smart it is to start something else when i haven’t finished this. finished here.”

“aaliyah, you’ve always dreamed of doing this, getting out of here. and somebody just handed you your way out of here on a golden plate.”

aaliyah put the card into her bag. “not everything that shines is usually gold. this could hurt me in many ways if it backfires. and what about my degree?”

her professor waved dismissively. “i’ll simply write this down as a project. we’ll admit it as your fourth semester internship that you would have to do anyway.”

it seemed easy, way too easy for aaliyah. it couldn’t be as simple as this.

she grabbed her bag and was about to walk away when her professor called her back again.

“aaliyah, please think about this. i know you probably think you do not deserve this but you do. let some happiness into your life again.”

“i’ll think about it.”

she nodded and exited the class. at least this time she would have something to tell eva in her class. she would rather drink acid than listen eva rant about her crazy sex escapades from last night.

the two girls were sitting on aaliyah’s bed in her bedroom, adorned with the soft rays of light as it took its descent and a bottle of wine between them with two glasses in front. they were sipping on the bordeaux liquid while she recounted what had happened to her today, the wine making aaliyah pour all her feelings out.

the blonde sat across from her, listening patiently as she tried to console the black woman. too often the two found each other in this position, with eva either bringing the best wine or the cheapest vodka she could find.

aaliyah always found a certain sort of solace and calm within her best friend. the two had met at a stupid frat party aaliyah had been forced to go by her roommate and had been inseparable since then. and over that time, eva had stayed by her side when she had gone through the endless trauma of her mother and had helped her get out of her toxic environment.

they were connected through more than friendship at this point with the amount of shit the two had already gone through.

“i have no idea what i’m going to do,” she sighed, swinging her glass absentmindedly. “it’s a good job offer — like i want to do this but i can’t leave everything just here.”

“girl, the only thing i see is you sabotaging yourself again. i mean, what are you leaving here? your annoying class of misogynistic assholes? that sorry excuse of a woman that calls yourself your mother? i’m sorry honey but the only thing you would be leaving behind is me and i can take the family jet anytime if i wanna visit you.”

aaliyah threw a pillow at her best friend. “hey, they’re not all bad. we are five girls in my class.”

“and four of them choose to be jealous, racist bitches towards you,” eva replied sassily. “look, i get it. change can be scary as fuck and speaking as a philo-major, we humans don’t like stepping out of our comfort zones. but staying won’t make you any happier.”

she chewed on her bottom lip, taking in eva’s advise. “but you know how much they sacrificed for me, to come here and start over. how much it meant to him for me to do this.”

eva threw her arm around aaliyah, pulling her back with the sudden force and making her nearly lose her drop her glass. "oh love, i can assure you the last your father probably wanted was for you to stick and waste your entire potential here. clinging to familiarity is never going to change things and it’s not gonna be the salvation you’re seeking so much.”

deep down aaliyah knew that eva was spot on with her analysis of her. but behind the truth hid so much more. aaliyah wasn’t looking for happiness and forgiveness anymore, she had accepted that she could never deserve his pardon. she had tried to forgive herself, to move on but she always stayed in the same spot. the huge amount of guilt that paralyzed her from moving on would never allow her to thrive and live. because she was the reason someone else couldn’t.

and that person deserved it so much more than she did.

eva grabbed aaliyah’s hand. “i don’t want you to stay here because i know you’re not happy. this entire city will always remind you of them. and you’ll never get over it if you stay here. you deserve to thrive and let’s be honest, that’s not gonna happen here.”

“but even if — this job is just a lot. working there would mean constantly traveling and not settling down.”

“wasn’t it your dream to travel the world just like your dad? taking this job would make it ten times easier. it’s practically your ticket to do this.”

“so you really think i should take this leap?”

eva snorted. “i would be lying to you if i said i want this completely because you’re my best friend and i hate you leaving. but for you, yes. take this job and be happy. it’s not only what your dad would have wanted for you — micah would have wished for you to do the same.”

she nodded, disregarding the pang in her heart at the sound of his name. her presence here, away from the turmoil she'd created, stemmed from the cascade of events that led to his demise. a single misstep initiated the unraveling, each consequence toppling like dominoes until the crash. it all lead back to her.

when the last drops of bordeaux had been consumed by the two students, the blonde stood up and bid her goodbyes to aaliyah, announcing that she had an early morning tomorrow. eva hugged her once more and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek — a habit they had developed.

“please promise me that you’ll think about it,” eva had murmured into her ear and aaliyah had nodded, which seemed enough to satisfy her. her best friend had left then and she found herself all alone again.

taking this job seemed to be so easy, everyone she had talked to seemed to push her towards it. but it was almost too easy which frightened aaliyah so much.

she was qualified enough for the job in terms of intelligence. the job was not completely out of world for her but she could not imagine herself leaving. her mind had twisted everything to the beautiful life she lived in that in the end was just an illusion -- but an illusion so ideal and perfect that she didn’t want to leave it.

it was like knowing that one was wearing rose-colored glasses and deliberately leaving them on, with no regard for all the consequences it could cost.

taking this job was a risk for her, she knew that much already. but eva was right, micah would have wanted this for her. and she owed it to him to at least try. no matter how big the impact of her fall would be. it was the least she could honor him with after destroying everything.

accepting this position posed a gamble for her, she knew that much already. but eva was right. micah would've wanted this for her. she felt indebted to him, compelled to make the attempt, regardless of how big her potential downfall could be. it seemed the minimum homage she could offer after dismantling everything.

it was way past eleven when aaliyah grabbed the card toto had given her earlier and her phone and tipped in his number. she was anxiously tipping her foot as she waited for the caller to take the call and was surprised when it only had to ring three times.

it was now or never.

“hello?” a hoarse voice asked on the telephone and aaliyah innerly groaned. people were sleeping at this hour, of course it was the wrong timing.

“this is aaliyah, the girl you offered a job today sir,” she said nervously.

toto gave a small laugh. “yeah, i remember and you really don’t have to call me sir.”

she nodded even though he couldn’t see her. “okay, understood. i just -- well, i wanted to inform you that i’m taking it. the job as interim chief technical engineer.”

“i’m very happy to know that you’re accepting my offer.”

there was no going back now, aaliyah realized. she had taken the first step towards a vast mountain that had no way to return back. there was only one path and she had just sealed her fate by taking it.

“yeah, i just hope i won’t regret it.”

“i have no doubts that you’re going to excel. but remember: formula one is ruthless and you’re competing with the best now.”

if she had known before, how far people were willing to go to win, she definitely wouldn't have taken the position.

#max verstappen x black oc #max verstappen series #max verstappen x oc #max verstappen #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen oneshot #max verstappen x black reader #max verstappen imagine #mercedes #mercedes amg f1 #mercedes amg petronas #f1 x female reader #f1 #lewis hamilton

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skaruresonic · 9 hours

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So the latest discourse is that saying that Sonic isn't a hugger and his clingy behavior towards Shadow in Prime is proof of how much the fandom loves to complain about the smallest things. In fact, "yall say Sonic should be free but yall don't want him to do anything".

I find it fascinating. One, the language that implies that fans who say "no Sonic wouldn't do X because it's OOC" are actively stifling a person's freedom. My dudes, Sonic is a character, not a real person. Please don't conflate the two.

Second... this is the same fandom that has been crying for 10 years that Shadow is being written terribly. That now he's just Vegeta, that he's nothing like he used to be, that his Boom portrayal was a travesty, that his prickliness towards Sonic is completely wrong because he has always respected him, really, go play SA2 where he was at his peak!

Why is Shadow's perceived character defended so staunchly, but defending Sonic's character comes off as restricting the freedom of the very character?

It's as if Sonic, to these fans, simply doesn't have a personality in the first place. He can be whatever we want him to be. Shadow, on the other hand, can only be how he used to be in a game 20 years old now, because we loved that one.

youtube

If we're gonna treat Sonic like he's a real person, it's only fair to respect his boundaries, no? Why should your desire to see him be cuddly supersede his boundaries? Would you do that to a real person?

Ofc the better retort would be "Sonic is a fictional character with an established character and you're misconstruing his love of freedom to suit your flanderization; pull your head out of your ass," but since this argument was made in bad faith, you gotta meet it where it lives.

People have been misinterpreting Sonic's whole attitude towards freedom to justify OOC non-game portrayals. First they insisted that Sonic has some dutiful love for the platonic ideal of freedom and that was why he always showed his enemies mercy. Now they're saying "you won't let Sonic do anything," as if fans are physically preventing poor third-party creators like Prime's showrunners from creating Peak Sonic(tm) by... criticizing Sonic's behavior after the fact. Because that's totally how reality works.

No, Patrick. Just because Sonic is "like the wind" doesn't mean any and all behavior is automatically in-character for him.

I suppose tomorrow's discourse will contend that Sega should let Sonic take the fattest rip off that bong because ST put a gag drawing of Classic smoking cigarettes on the break room door thirty years ago.

lol 420 blaze it

Anyway, if you look at the games, you'll find that Sonic isn't actually that touchy-feely. He rarely, if ever, hugs other people, but is typically the party being hugged instead. And he is usually portrayed as awkward or uncomfortable: he doesn't know what to do with his arms.

While some may argue that Frontiers!Sonic now feels "comfortable" enough to put a hand on Amy while she clings to him, he isn't... exactly reciprocating? He only seems to feel comfortable being glomped on when focusing on his other friends:

He's still not looking at Amy, he's looking at Tails lmao. More like he's just waiting for her to finish because he's come to expect getting glomped for long periods of time.

Whenever Sonic "touches" someone who initiates contact, he usually holds them at arm's length.

This is how he holds his best friend in the entire world, the second half of the Unbreakable Bond. If not even Tails is exempt from the junior prom dance rule, what makes folks think Sonic would act even chummier towards Shadow of all people?

Besides, I'm sure Game!Shadow's reaction to Sonic even attempting to hug him would be

---

It's really bizarre. I swear this is the only fandom where the main characters' IC behavior is derided as OOC purely because it doesn't gel with the fanon fandom has built up in their heads. Mostly because we've fostered this environment of "the games suck" through a constant background radiation of disparagement, with such messages seeping through every pore of Sonic fan spaces as:

1.) "Sonic is inconsistent" 2.) "the series was never good" 3.) "the Sega-Sonic character design standard is too generic and cookie-cutter" 4.) "the games are incapable of being as complex or as deep as [insert spinoff media here]" 5.) "Sonic is a static character [and therefore that's bad]" 6.) "Sonic vs. Eggman is boring and routine" 7.) "game purists think the games and/or Sega can never be criticized."

that his prickliness towards Sonic is completely wrong because he has always respected him, really, go play SA2 where he was at his peak!

Thus, the conundrum of being an SA2 fan in a day and age where fewer and fewer who hype it up have proven they've played it, much less understand the game's themes. I get stuck between this rock and hard place of being just as tired of the overhype, yet being forced to admit over and over again that I acknowledge my favorite Sonic game it isn't nearly as unimpeachably Peak(tm) as everyone portrays it so people won't think I'm... for lack of a better term, the kind of SA2 fan who thinks SA2!Shadow is the GOAT. Battle!Shadow is the GOAT and nothing anybody says can change my mind. None of you fake-ass Shadows ever said anything nearly as metal as "This is the final voice of the last war machine," have you? I thought not

It can't be understated how much Gerald's brainwashing mitigates SA2!Shadow's portrayal. Although it doesn't completely invalidate the entire portrayal, it does beg questions of how much he was driven by forces outside his control.

While there are aspects of SA2!Shadow's character worth genuine analysis, people exaggerate his better qualities while ignoring or downplaying his less palatable traits (traits he displays in later portrayals as well), like the showboating and arrogance. And like I always say with Shadow, you can't cut him up into pieces like that. You have to accept the whole, rough edges and all.

It also doesn't escape my notice that SA2!Shadow advocates imply the only time Shadow ever had a "good" portrayal was before he underwent character development, which is another stereotype of us SA2 fans: that we perpetually huff nostalgia think the past is better simply for being the past.

Meanwhile, I've been saying for years that I would love for someone, anyone, to give Shadow something to do that has nothing to do with the ARK. That's why my first reaction upon hearing about SxS Gens was to headdesk. You have a character who's all about forging his own path and moving on, yet you're always sticking him in the same goddamn hamster wheel. Why.

---

Why is Shadow's perceived character defended so staunchly, but defending Sonic's character comes off as restricting the freedom of the very character?

Tbqh, I don't think it's fair to pit Sonic and Shadow against each other like that because the entire cast, really, is being gutted by a fandom that insists the games have nothing of substance to respect. God knows people make shit up for Shadow and claim it has canonical basis too. And, you know, sometimes they don't even bother to do that - they just make things up simply because they figure the tropes that are good enough for other franchises must be good enough for Sonic as well. Looking at you, "Shadow was tortured on the ARK."

Sonic, Shadow, Eggman, Rouge, Cream, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Silver... Most, if not all, the core cast has it bad these days. And I don't think this fanonization is going to get any better unless there's a change in fandom culture. Not until people stop thinking of the games as inferior and game purists as the no-fun-allowed fiction police.

#asks #long post

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dana-is-snax · 3 days

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Do you think Hannibal was in love with Alana and Bedelia? The same way he was in love with Will? Or how do you see Hannibal's relationship with Alana and Bedelia compared to his intense love for Will?

okay, buckle up, this is gonna be a wild ride. [that escalated a bit, short answer: here.]

First of all, I want to say that I am not sure how Hannibal would define love. I think for him it is mostly about being understood and seen.

Second, I think that Sorbet is really telling about his three main relationships. It contains the first session we see between him and Bedelia, we see the beginnings of his and Alana’s romantic relationship and we see Will missing his session and Hannibal coming to see Will, their conversation where Will gives such an accurate assessment of the Ripper’s motivation.

Third, since Hannibal is so manipulative his relationships are often written in a way, where we often see what he wants us to see and then later, it is revealed that it was a whole other thing entirely. In my opinion that makes it hard to assess his relationships.

alana bloom

In my opinion he neither loved nor was in love with Alana – she was an esteemed colleague. He carefully flirted with her and entered a relationship with her as means to an end, a future alibi, because she was someone Jack would trust. It was built on manipulation – even if Hannibal expressed regret for that and offered her an out.

“I was hoping you and I wouldn’t have to say good-bye. Nothing seen nor said. You may have found that rude.” “[…] I was so blind.” “In your defense, I worked very hard to blind you. You can stay blind. You can hide from this. Walk away, I’ll make no plans to call on you. But if you stay, I will kill you. Be blind, Alana. Don’t be brave.” Mizumono, 00:29:37-00:30:27.

It is mentioned, they worked together in what I think was a mentor-mentee relationship. This previous platonic relationship, their history, is what he constructed their romantic one on.

“You had me examining PhD candidates that week.” “And I’m grateful you were examining PhD students and not the Ripper. You realize those candidates thought we were having an affair. Why didn’t we?” Sorbet, 00:25:50-00:25:58.

I think for Hannibal it is important that people see him, that someone understands him. Alana did not and could never – “while being able to understand Hannibal's philosophies, [she] is unable to accept or digest them.” (cf. tayasui-mono in her post)

“Could I ever have understood you?” “No.” Digestivo, 00:26:32-00:26:40.

[honorable mentions]

that weird ass kaleidoscope sex scene

the theremin rizz

bedelia du maurier

I do believe that he was in love with Bedelia once upon a time, at the starting point of the series I would say he loves her but is not in love with her anymore.

In Sorbet, Alana mentions an affair he had while she was working with him. I always interpreted that this affair was with Bedelia.

“You were already having an affair.” Sorbet, 00:26:05-00:26:07.

In my opinion, Bedelia is one of two people, who get to know Hannibal under the person suit. Alone by her knowledge that there is a person suit she knows him better than most. The best scene for that is the first session we see in Sorbet.

She sees small glimpses of him. When she mentions the existence of his human veil/person suit as well as the loneliness that surely must come with it, we see a small smile flash over Hannibal’s face, acknowledging her knowledge of him. More so she knows that she knows him.

“I see enough of you to see the truth of you. And I like you.” Sorbet, 00:18:18-00:18:22.

Not only does she confront him with the fact of his dishonesty, with the existence of his human veil/person suit, but she also distances herself from him being his friend; they are colleagues and in a doctor-patient relationship. She gives clear boundaries, BUT crosses them in the same scene by drinking a glass wine with ‘her patient’.

Bedelia is morally ambiguous, we never know whether she is scared or complicit – or a little bit of both. Or if she even knows.

“Important to get across was the degree to which she is aroused by what is happening. Why on earth is she there? I mean, I know she is titillated by him. But the fact that she got on the plane and went to Italy with him implies that there is something deeper between them. This is the first time he commits a murder in front of her. It was important to see the degree to which she is on the one hand completely terrified. And on the other hand, there’s a part of her that is definitely turned on by and enraptured by the danger and him.” Gillian Anderson in ‘Gillian Anderson Rewatches The X-Files, Sex Education, Scoop & More’ for Vanity Fair.

I believe also that if Italy had been the first time she ever was directly confronted with Hannibal’s violence - while acting like or rather being his wife mind you – she would not have been so torn about it.

Something that I also don’t want to skip is the fact that she killed before and that she liked it – at least that's how I would interpret the orgasm-like camera work in that particular scene. Therefore I would say that Hannibal likes to play with that darker side of her – to provoke her.

“Observe or participate?” “What?” “Are you, in this very moment, observing or participating?” “Observing.” “You say you’re observing, but this…this is participation, Bedelia.” Antipasto, 00:37:25-00:37:53.

In the end though, Italy happens while Hannibal is already and still very much in love with Will and he is literally talking to his ‘wife’ about his boyfriend.

“Was it nice to see him?” “It was nice…among other things .He knew where to look for me.” “You knew where he would look for you.” "He said he forgave me." “Forgiveness is too great and difficult for one person. It requires two: the betrayer and the betrayed. Which one are you?” “I’m vague on those details.” "Betrayal and forgiveness are best seen as something akin to falling in love." "You cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love." Secondo, 00:00:53-00:01:57.

After all that there is no way Bedelia didn't feel used. She knew she was filling the gaps Will left in Hannibal's life while understanding that although they are similar she could never replace him in any manner.

I don't understand how people interpret her as annoyed or as if she "just didn't want to die". There was surely understanding and love between Hannibal and her, yet not like between Will and Hannibal.

And YES, they fucked.

[honorable mentions]

the dancing scene (and the whole antipasto episode just for their chemistry): “Bellissima.” “Grazie.”

the dinner scene: “My husband has a very sophisticated palate. He is very particular about how I taste.” “Is it that kind of party?” “It’s not that kind of party.”

will graham

Hannibal’s relationship with Will I always find hard to define as it is written in a way that is not so much based on romantic or sexual attraction but rather mutual understanding – ‘seeing each other’. (Which, let’s be honest, is probably due to NBC being homophobic.)

Because of his ‚gift‘, his heightened empathy, Will can assess the Ripper in a way that no one else can. In Sorbet, he does so in Hannibal’s presence and Hannibal finally finds someone who really sees him.

“Displaying one’s enemies after death has its appeal in many cultures.” “This aren’t the Ripper’s enemies, these are pests he’s swatted.” “Their reward for their cruelty.” “Oh, he doesn’t have a problem with cruelty. Their reward is for undignified behavior. These dissections are to disgrace them. It’s…it’s a public shaming.” “Takes their organs away because, in his mind, they don’t deserve them.” “In some way.” Sorbet, 00:34:44-00:35:21.

In each other they find someone that understands and reciprocates.

“They are identically different, Hannibal and Will.” Digestivo, 00:03:59-00:04:02.

With his Achilles/Patroclus reference in regards to their relationship Hannibal practically confesses that he is indifferent to anyone but Will in his life. (How Will misses the point of this reference is completely inexplicable to me. After this he still had the audacity to ask, “Is Hannibal in love with me?” YES, YOU STUPID MAN!)

"Achilles lamenting the death of Patroclus. Whenever he's mentioned in the Iliad, Patroclus seems to be defined by his empathy." "He became Achilles on the field of war. He died for him there, wearing his armor." "He did. Hiding and revealing identity is a constant theme throughout the Greek epics." "As are battle-tested friendships." "Achilles wished all Greeks would die, so that he and Patroclus could conquer Troy alone. Took divine intervention to bring them down." Tome-wan, 00:40:22-00:41:07.

In the end, Will and Hannibal are so incredibly complex, they are written so that they literally defy definition und do not fit into a mold. I could not even say that Hannibal feels intense love for Will. I’m not even sure that Hannibal is able to feel love at all - same with Will - or rather how they feel love.

But they see each other for what they are.

"Time did reverse. The teacup that I shattered there did come together. A place was made for Abigail in your world... You understand? A place was made for all of us, together. I wanted to surprise you. And you... you wanted to surprise me. I let you know me. See me. I gave you a rare gift. But you didn't want it." “Didn’t I?” Mizumono, 00:36:15-00:37:18.

[honorable mentions]

the baby trap: "Who knows Abigail better than you and I? Or burden she bears. We are her fathers now. We have to serve her better than Garrett Jacob Hobbs."

the ogling: “Are you feeling paternal, Will?”

conclusion

Hannibal did not love Alana. She was an esteemed colleague but in the end, she was a means to an end. She was there to give him an alibi. He manipulated her.

Hannibal surely once was in love with Bedelia, maybe even loves her still but is not IN love with her anymore. I would say he took her to Italy for the love that once was there – for old time’s sake.

Will is ‘Blackbeard’s last wife’. He and Hannibal just have an unprecedented understanding for each other. Hannibal wanted a future with Will.

So, no, Hannibal was not in love with Alana and Bedelia, or at least not in the same way he was with Will.

[I want to note here that both Bedelia and Will often behave in a way that Hannibal would consider rude and he turns a blind eye to it. All this to say, if it had ended with Bedelia, Will and Hannibal as a throuple, Hannibal wouldn’t have had a peaceful day in his life ever again.]

#hannibal lecter #will graham #bedelia du maurier #alana bloom #hannibal meta #bedannibal meta #hannigram meta #hannibal nbc

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numerologica · 2 days

Note

What are your thoughts on:

- Neptune 5H wearing rose-tinted glasses

- Saturn 8H predicted to have harsh death

- Pisces 6H can’t stick to routines well

- natal Venus Rx repeating cycles

- Moon conjunct Moon VS Moon trine Moon

- Moon square Saturn & North Node (synastry)

- Saturn overlay 9H (synastry)

- Chiron 2H being bad with $$$

- placements that give insight on best manifesting techniques

● Let's clarify some basic astrology warnings beforehand:

[ ⚠¹ ] No placement on itself tells the whole story, never. Only the entire birth chart can confirm/deny/change a placement meaning.

[ ⚠² ] No placement can predict death. Not even a predictive astrologer can tell something like this with absolute certainty. There are of course some astrology indications of endings/beginnings/potential problems but surely nothing like «you'll die on *specific date*» or «you'll die *this way*».

[ ⚠³ ] Nothing in astrology is set in stone, it's all a matter of possibility/potential and how the individual approaches to it + a process of growth. Remember the latin motto: "Astra Inclinant Sed Non Obligant" / "The stars incline us, they do not bind us."

[ ⚠⁴ ] The most panic-inducing observation is likely the most inaccurate and generic one or clickbait bullsh*t, always take them with a grain of salt and consult a professional or an almost-professional astrologer (like me).

[ ⚠⁵ ] I don't know who made those observations and really don't want to know, my purpose isn't to criticise/spread hate to them at all, but to clarify the observations I receive in my ask box which I think to be toxic/inaccurate.

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● NEPTUNE IN THE 5H "wears rose tinted glasses when in love", this can be true. Neptune represents imagination, illusions, confusion & idealisation, so people with this placement can struggle seeing the reality of a relationship and likely look at: "how beautiful it can be"... They can be very romantic people as well as someone who refuses to see his/her/their partners true colours even when obvious. They're - generally speaking - the "drunk in love"/"high for love"/"I put you on a pedestal"/"If it's not a fairytale i don't want it"/ "I'll love you unconditionally" ones, maybe even struggling with giving too much in love or being overly sacrificing for the sake of keeping the relationship.

In this case, to confirm this kind of behaviour you'll need to evaluate the aspects Neptune makes/5H Ruler Sign and its House & Aspects, as well as Venus Placement in your chart to see if there are mitigating factors.

⎯ This can also apply to some extent to Pisces 5H/5H Ruler in Pisces/5H Ruler on Pisces Degrees/5H Ruler aspecting Neptune/other planets in the 5H aspecting Neptune/12H Ruler in the 5H

● SATURN IN THE 8H [look at Warning n° 1 & 2] "predicted to have a harsh death", I get where this comes from as Saturn can represent difficulties/harshness and the 8H metaphorically represents death, but one thing Saturn also represents is longevity and old people, so a well placed Saturn in the 8H was - back to some decades ago - used as an indicator for longevity/solid health even when older. I personally won't talk about these themes on this blog as I find them to be incredibly problematic and easy to misunderstand as - in order to talk about them - you must be deeply knowledgeable about astrology beforehand, so I won't dive deeper on this "observation".

● PISCES IN THE 6H [look at Warning n° 1 & 3] "can't stick to routines well", I must say this is not entirely wrong. Pisces naturally have a tendency to distraction, being creative, often on their own cloud, as Neptune can indicate distraction and escapism, while the 6H can tell about habits [the real indicator of habits is the Moon actually] so these people may struggle with routine as they may feel imprisoned by it, they may need their own pace and always try to escape routine with something new which allows them to follow the flow and keep their mind going.

⎯ This can apply to some extent to: Moon or Neptune in the 6H/Planets on Pisces Degrees in the 6H/6H Ruler in Pisces/6H Ruler Aspecting Neptune

● NATAL VENUS (RX) "repeating cycles" [look at Warning n° 1 & 3] I don't really get what this means or to what it refers to specifically... But I guess it may mean "repeating romantic cycles" such as always falling for the same toxic romantic situations or always having similar stagnant energy when talking about relationships. If that's the case I have to say that this isn't much wrong/inaccurate, as Venus Rx may struggle with romantic connections - generally speaking - for various reasons depending the whole Venus Placement and the whole chart, but this case is just a case that actually happen, one of the various possibilities this placement can manifest

● MOON ☌ MOON & MOON △ MOON (synastry), what's the observation you saw about them? Same goes for all the synastry aspects you linked above...

● CHIRON IN THE 2H [look at Warning n° 1] "being bad with $$", honestly enough I don't agree much with this obervation, Chiron in the 2H may actually be overly concerned with money to the point of being a major "let's save rather than spend" as they may fear losing money or being left without it. Chiron is "the wounded healer" and the 2H is also self-worth, so these people may face some struggles with seeing their own value and hence may find themselves signing work contracts for lower salaries just because they don't believe in themselves enough. I could go on for hours about this placement but saying it's "bad with money" is very reductive.

● "Placements that give insight over best manifesting techniques", I'm not into LOA so I never did much astrological research over it but I guess when talking about manifesting potential I'd say to look at Neptune/Moon in your chart or generally your own birth placements depending on what you'd like to manifest first:

ex: love = venus, 5H, 7H

ex: sex = mars, venus, pluto, 5H, 8H

ex: earning money = venus, jupiter, 2H, 11H

ex: travel = where sagittarius/gemini is in your chart, mercury, 3H, 9H

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useful links written by professionals/experienced people:

(¹) Neptune Astrology: The Ultimate Planet Guide - AstroTwins

(²) Neptune in the 5H - Advanced Astrology

(³) Saturn Astrology: The Ultimate Planet Guide - AstroTwins

(⁴) Saturn in the 8H - Advanced Astrology

(⁵) Pisces: Astrodienst - Astrowiki

(⁶) Pisces in the 6H - HoroscopeJoy

(⁷) Venus Astrology: The Ultimate Planet Guide - AstroTwins

(⁸) Natal Venus Rx - CafeAstrology

(⁹) Chiron Astrology: The Ultimate Planet Guide - AstroTwins

(¹⁰) Chiron in the 2H - Advanced Astrology

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MASTERLIST

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