#they’re in live i don’t take constructive criticism

[alyakthedorklord]

Welcome to Danny’s Part 2

People have been asking for more of this ^^ so here you go, have a really long word vomit of stuff i think is funny

(IM NOT WRITING THIS FIC GDI I HAVE ENOUGH WIP’S!)

Danny’s restaurant is ALSO manned by-

Tucker, who will fix your tech for free, has tattoos of hieroglyphics and lines of code that shift around when he gets busy.

Sam, who makes an express line for veggie orders. If you try to order meat from sam all the potted plants start trembling.

Jazz, who has a special booth in the back and Magically makes people dump their deepest secrets to her in streamlined Liminal Powers Therapy. (It’s a bit weird but hey the people she targets feel better so whatevs.)

Dani, who shares pictures from tourist traps she's visited, though there’s also some REALLY WEIRD pics of alternate realities and cult shenanigans mixed in. Some of the older patrons are concerned. She’s a little too young to do all this alone- actually, how old is she? Her father looks like he’s in his early twenties…

Dan, who is working here while “on parole” and often loudly argues with Danny about it.

“I don’t want to work in your stupid shop, Dad!”

Dan is two whole feet taller than danny and three times as wide i will not be taking constructive criticism. He’s a whole silver fox. There are some ladies who have a crush on him and they’re really concerned if he’s legal bc danny is younger than them how is Dan his child-

“Dan, how old are you?”

“I don’t know, like, a hundred sixty something?”

(Lady turns to look at Danny, who shrugs and smiles.) “time dilation. What a world we live in. Dan, kiddo, can you get some more napkins from the back?”

“Ugh, fine, dad.”

The first villain Danny ACTUALLY fights isn’t the Joker. It’s Condiment King. Dan runs away from him, which is already weird bc guy is MASSIVE, and the condiment king chases him bc YES SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS HIM PROPERLY.

Danny bursts out of the shop in righteous fatherly fury and beats the snot out of him. Everyones is confused bc… what? Dan is massive? Why is he scared? Why is the twink beating the snot out of condiment king?

“Dan had a traumatic experience with Burger Sauce.” Danny explains, glaring down at the rouge at his feet. He kicks him, growls, “Don’t mess with my kid.” And walks back inside.

No one asks, bc this is gotham. Asking is rude, and also it lessens the Mystery that is Danny’s. No one knows how the kids came into existence. No one knows, before someone from out of town (metropolis, ugh) asks about the sign.

The sign outside the shop says:

Welcome to Danny’s!

Do no harm and no harm shall befall you.

Start nothing and nothing will be ended.

We have baseball bats and fists and a mean swing.

This establishment does not serve- guys in white (suits), Vlad, Transphobes, Vlad, Clowns, VLAD.

Do not ask for the secret menu. If you can get it, Danny will offer it.

(Don’t scare the other customers, please.)

When asked who Vlad is, bc he’s banned three times, Danny just kind of sighs.

“He’s my kid's other parent. He’s an obsessive creep who completely ignores Danielle because she’s a girl, rolling in money but won’t pay his child support. You know how it is.”

Several goons ask what he looks like so they can keep an eye out. Dani happily tells them “look at Dan, take away Dad’s features, then convert 30% of his height and weight into smarminess.”

It's an effective description. Vlad gets full body tackled the moment he enters the neighborhood. Danny gives the goons free fudge (family recipe, one of the restaurants signatures)

One of the reasons Danny’s is so popular is bc its open 24/7. (Unless its one of those weird times where all the doors are locked and if you look through the window blinds theres nothing but a starry void.) One of the reasons Danny’s is so weird is bc Danny is ALWAYS behind the counter. Always. Round the clock. He doesn’t sleep, eat, anything. Some people swear he has a twin he swaps out with (clones).

Sometimes, after a really difficult customer, Danny will let out a really long sigh and mutter “time out” before glitching into a new position, with a new shirt and combed hair. No one mentions it.

Theres a deal that’s just, “beat danny in a fight you eat for free.”

The deal extends to both Dan and Dani as well. Even if you lose you get fudge as a reward for courage.

No one ever wins.

One time, a couple brought their kid, recently discharged from the hospital. Danny comes over to them and grins. “Hey, kiddo! Bet you gave your parents a scare, huh? Pulled through in the end. That means you get the secret menu!”

Parents: hey wtf?

Danny, handing over a perfectly normal menu: 😀

Kid: “ooh mommy look at the glowy stars!”

Parents: !?!?!?

Danny: 😁

Old man Dave, whose heart has stopped like three times now: “Oh don’t worry about that, prices are the same and it will help your kid feel much better. Danny’s just a little weird.”

After all, it’s not just full ghosts that get the menu. If you’ve been dead, heart stopped, soul out of body before being popped back into place, then you get it. There’s actually a pretty high number of people who get it, bc this is Gotham. People get resuscitated after rogue attacks. The ecto actually helps stabilize their soul after getting jerked between life and death so rudely.

The secret menu that they’re given is just a normal menu, scribbled over top with an ecto pen, invisible to non-secret menu havers. Different “ecto-levels” to choose from, and three extra dishes. There’s also instructions to get into the “back room” for those who can’t go intangible, though it comes with a disclaimer “not for the faint of heart.”

There’s also a small note at the bottom- “do not share food.”

Anyways, as per original post. Tim herds Joker into Danny’s radar bc he Cannot Deal Right Now. He salutes Danny, who waves back, grinning like he didn’t just come at the Clown Prince of Crime like a feral badger on crack cocaine. “Heya, Red Robin! You want a coffee?”

“Please.” Tim sighs. “You’re the best, Danny.”

Jason looks between tim and the shop danny just vanished into. “Uh, what?”

“Danny doesn’t like clowns.” Tim explains. “Or condiment king. They get close, Danny takes them out.”

Jason is incredibly confused, bc he just came back from an out of town mission, but this place is right on the edge of his territory and he should definitely know about it. He asks tim, who just shrugs.

“That shop is weird. It’s like a grocery store at 3am. I stumbled in there after a rough night and Danny just whipped me up the best coffee i've ever had. Still can’t find their website. I swear it’s bigger on the inside and the door keeps swapping from one side of that fire hydrant to the other.”

Danny comes out and passes Tim a massive coffee cup. “Come back and talk shop with tucker, okay? You’re welcome any time. Both of you, actually.”

He gives Jason a weird look and then goes back inside.

Jason, who is a little concerned that the reverence tim has is more than his average weird worship of coffee (it's just that good) goes back the next day in civvies.

He gets offered the secret menu, danny does the eye thing, Jason retreats to look at the secret menu. Unsure of what just happened, he texts tim.

Jason: Why was i given a “secret menu”

Tim: WTF WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THAT

Jason: IDK THATS WHY IM TEXTING YOU

tim: I'VE BEEN GOING FOR MONTHS I’M A LOYAL PATRON WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DONT

Jason: the secret menu apparently (image)

Tim: …thats just the normal menu???

Jason: no? It looks like a kid went ham with a neon green marker tf?

Duke: you know this is the family chat right?

Steph: order the waffles

Jason: you order the waffles. Wtf is an ecto-level.

Jason asks for what danny recommends, Danny immediately gives him a milkshake and tells him it's on the house bc he “looks rough.”

Jason is kind if offended, bc he actually got a decent sleep- but then he tries it and its like.

Oh.

Now. Between the stink Tim is making, and the sudden worship that Jason has of this shops milkshakes, the BatFamily is now Curious and will Investigate.

Are the milkshakes really that good?

The full force of the Wayne Family™ isn’t exactly subtle, so they go in twos and threes over the course of a week.

Damian gets offered the secret menu, and is also directed towards Sam’s express vegetarian line. Danny just Knew. Damian accuses Tim and/or Jason of pulling a prank on him, but they both swear up and down they didn’t say anything.

Both Steph (i think? Did she fake her death or actually die idk) and Cass get the secret menu, and they keep trying to ask Tim what certain things on the menu mean. Tim Cannot See what they’re talking about. He’s starting to get frustrated. Is it some sort of magic spell?

Tim takes Kon to Danny’s. (Is it a date? A test date on a low-stakes investigation? Maybe.) Danny, who is really starting to enjoy messing with Tim, gleefully offers Kon the secret menu, and Tim the normal one. Tim bangs his head on the table.

Dick doesn’t get a secret menu, but he does notice a couple disappear through the wall. He’s almost certain he’s seen them before, but it will be a while before he remembers Kitty and Johnny from his early Robin Days.

Duke is also not offered a secret menu, but he can see the writing anyways. He can also see that some of the patrons have weird auras, and what on EARTH is up with Danny himself? He tries to ignore it, up until Steph gets him to order one of the specials off Cass’s (secret) menu. And Danny just kind of sharpens, the air going cold.

“I didn’t give you that menu. Just because you can read it, doesn’t mean you want it. Order off the right menu, please.”

Duke, freaked the hell out by the Biblically Accurate Horror that Danny is shifting into, orders off the right menu and apologizes.

“Oh, it’s alright!” Danny flips back to cheerful in seconds. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be completely healthy for you to eat it, even if you are part immortal.”

Duke bluescreens.

Alright, somethings definitely going on.

Tim and Jason both order the same thing- an oreo milkshake, one off the secret menu, one off the normal menu. Jason confirms the one from the normal menu does not taste the same and isn’t as good. Tim cannot confirm the other way around, because Jason nearly punches him when he attempts to taste it.

They take samples home, analyze them, and go over anecdotes from other patrons, trying to figure out what makes Danny’s so weird. What makes Kon, Cass, Jason, and Damian different?

Wait a second. Kon, Cass, Jason, Damian. The ones that died and came back to life.

It’s around this time that Dick remembers where he’s seen Kitty and Johnny before. Lovers from two houses, both alike in (in)dignity, had a romeo-and-juliet-esque escapade across Gotham, ending in high speed chase with Kitty’s gangster father and a fatal motorcycle accident. Both are dead. Both are in Danny’s.

Danny’s has something to do with death.

Having heard a couple stories about food of the dead, they notify Bruce (who is very concerned as to what exactly his children have been putting in their mouths) and then call in the magic users of the justice league.

It’s a mess. Dan calls Constantine a whore. Deadman and Secret (i think thats Tim’s ghost friend?) get abducted to the backroom. Dani clocks Capt. Marvel as another kid who looks older than he actually is, with magic powers, and his showing him her REALLY interesting travel photos. Zatanna is like “this place needs an exorcism” and danny just goes “ma’am please don’t exorcize my customers.”

Tag list (if you saw me attempt this before no you didn’t)

@nappinginhell @apointlessbox @thegatorsgoose @chaos-n-kindness @mimilikey @phoenixdemonqueen @treepainting @sjrose1216 @akikkobara @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @randomkiddoscrewingaround @call-me-strega @blankliferain @somera-rubina @wordsgohere95 @rukiaai @mirellacoco @stargazing-bookwyrm @bathildaburp @littlefeather345

#dp x dc #long post #dp x dc prompt #idk what im doing #welcome to danny’s

[thementalshawty]

Who’s Your FS PT. 2

Heyyyyyyyyy happy ‘24!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m back with the awaited pt2 to who’s your FS. Now if I’m guessing most of you saw pt1 and just back here for confirmation or for more information, now for those who are new here hellloooooooooo! This is a shorter version of p1 only I’m using one deck for this reading. @silvershiningtarot gifted me the tea leaf oracle deck so that is what I’ll be using for this reading! Thanks baby!! Now REMEMBER THIS IS A GENERAL READING! Take what resonated and leave the rest for others to take in you want something more personal, you’ll have to purchase a reading from me, or any other great reader on here, mmk? Til then just take what resonates with you in this general reading! Choose an emoji and let’s get started and TAROT IS A SUGGESTIVE METHOD, DO NOT RELY ON ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO MAKE OR DICTATE DECISIONS AND MOVES FOR YOUR LIFE! YOU’RE THE POWER!

P4: 🖤

P5 :💞

P6:🫶🏽

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Pile IV

Your spouses have faced major challenges and obstacles in their lives, they’ve climbed many a mountain basically. They aren’t a weak minded person, they got heart p4 and they’re brave! They’ve faced so much they don’t back down from shit! This person is a survivor, a soldier, a warrior lol! I can’t stop bragging about how strong and fierce they are! They’ve been hit with so much shit and they’ve climbed it, I feel like right now they’re facing yet another major challenge in their lives. There’s rats around them, people that are secretly working against them behind their backs, they’re not even aware of it or who it could be cos they’re so focused on what they’re facing. Poor babies! These are my survival mode babies! They have paranoia, they think everyone is after them most likely, they are afraid of peace cos they don’t trust it, they had to defend themselves their whole lives. “All my life I had to fight.” Maybe they had a color purple kind of life, like Celie, or Sofia, but don’t look at the gender of them, it can be male, female, gender less, this person has been through some shit and they still are needing to defend themselves, don’t feel bad for them tho, they can handle it I feel, they’re hella strong but they shouldn’t have to be going through shit just cos they can handle it or they’re strong you know?? They’re a bit defensive too only cos they always had to defend themselves so they don’t understand the concept of constructive criticism or advice from bullying or trying to tear them down, they never had anything healthy to compare the toxicity too. So be mindful of that. They’re successfully overcoming a problem right now! They always land on top! They are the type to get kicked down but have the last laugh. They cannot be defeated, they lose battles but they WIN WARS! Maybe some of them live over a bridge or live where there’s a famous bridge (golden gate bridge I heard so maybe some of them or you are in cali). This person is a new person entering your life not an ex or someone you have met already, you haven’t met this person, you can possibly know of them, but you didn’t meet yet. They are arrogant and boastful and it’s cos what they went through. They are high! Very cocky they got an ego, and it’s cos whoever or whatever crossed them or tried to cause them harm failed and was destroyed leaving them way better than before. So they feel untouchable. They’ve been grieving some kind of loss, they have sorrowful moments especially when they relive or reminisce about what they went through and lost. They’re starting over and recreating their lives, venturing out into new territory or new methods of life, they’re hella creative and idealistic so they are now coming up with new and impressive ways of going about things. They may like watching the sunrise, could’ve been born at sunrise? They’re an early bird most likely. They’re a king/queen to themselves and they don’t need any validation from anyone! EVER! They persevere and never give up, this is how they overcome issues, they’re not the type to just take shit lying down, they’re a fucking fighter. They have plenty of material things, they have a lot of stuff, I’m not seeing hella wealth but they have plenty of money, they can afford whatever they want in that moment. They’re cocky cos they know they fought for everything they have so they feel they’ve earned the right to be cocky. They have been disappointed by friends and lovers in their lives who I feel have plotted behind their backs, it’s almost like I’m getting the rise of Tony Montana from Scarface, maybe they like that movie, they have a nice house and nice shit in their homes (random). They’re over thinkers, I told you they’re paranoid, they think that everything may crash and burn and they will have to struggle again like they’re used to but they are getting better and better each challenge or obstacle. I think that they’re bigger than you, some of them are tall, heavier, curvy, just bigger than you some in height some in weight. They are coming out of their cocoon a butterfly they are going through

Yet another transition and transformation, it’s for the better they are going to emerge from this so much better, stronger and more abundant I feel, I think that they always end up financially secure or blessed after every challenge they end up gaining some money that’s why they have so much shit I feel, they love to celebrate themselves. They are a happy go lucky type of person because they have been through shit and they have won every single war they’ve been in so they feel like they’re blessed and have good luck, others may gossip and say that they’re a lucky person but they’re really just good like that! They deserve their position in life, I promise you they do!

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Pile V

Happiness is important to this person. This is the type of person where money doesn’t matter to them. They just want to do what makes them the happiest, not that they aren’t taken care of financially, but they aren’t a shallow or materialistic individual. They love standing in the sun, they probably laugh loud and proud they are one of the happiest people you’ll ever meet in your life, they hate being upset or angry, it takes a lot to make them mad I feel. They have built a nest for themselves, they have a cozy home I feel, they are filled with so much love, they’re emotionally secure and they come from a loving family, or they want to create a loving and emotionally secure family. They definitely want kids, family is important to them which is why I think they were indeed brought up in a loving home at least some of them did, very warm and fuzzy person. They believe in love and happiness they believe love will bring them true happiness! I love them! They have a two faced friend in their life right now tho, this person around them is a fake ass person being fake but they only see the one face right now, idk if they don’t wanna face it or they genuinely don’t know about this person but they have a fake ass friend amongst them P5. They can be a cat person, they can even feed the birds or have a bird house at their house, you know what I feel too, they have one of those fountains for the birds outside their house, a family of birds could live outside their house. They have great fortune, like I said they are taken care of financially, I feel like because they don’t chase money like how everyone else is so obsessed with the bag, they’re not which is why money and fortune finds them simply they don’t chase anything but their happiness honestly. They are a very blessed person, a human four leaf clover 🍀! You’ll feel blessed around them too, maybe some of them are born in march, I do get wager sign vibes from this deck. Their skin is on the darker side, especially if you’re looking for a wife she’s got a darker complexion than you or her hair! It can also be their mom, or sister only because family is hella important so is their culture too, I feel some of you guys share the same culture others differ but even the ones that share the same culture you may not be into it as deep as they are they are devout to their culture and family. They may have gotten their money through inheritance, or winning something it could’ve even been some kind of windfall either way it came to them very naturally and it was like a stroke of luck or a blessing they are wealthy, they could’ve even inherited a beautiful piece of property. Something wealthy and grand they have! Money or some grand property. They are protected from negative forces, their guides and ancestors don’t play with them, anything negative that comes their way doesn’t affect them directly or heavily! They’re blessed frfr, truly lucky person! I’m happy for this person! Fuck that fake ass friend tho. P5 you gotta winner here! They may own a boat, 🛥️ yacht? This pile I’m getting old money vibes, wealth, old Victorian homes and castles type of background with this person. Idk. I see that because this person is so blessed and rarely sees any negativity, they aren’t very used to being told anything less than great, they need to learn how to accept valid criticism, I feel they feel anyone telling them anything less than satisfactory is a hater. They don’t want their happiness interfered with. I feel like there is some criticism that they need to listen to. So they have some downfalls in this person. Some of them could’ve been born rich. I feel like they are spoiled, the silver spoon ones. They are only used to having the best so anything less is not what they pay attention too. Others I feel they inherited money but before they did they accepted the fact that things suck sometimes so when anyone come to them with it they try to brush it off cos they know life sucks sometimes but they pay no mind to it which is a high vibe but also low too. They’re a fucking soaring 🦅 EAGLE! They

faced obstacles, struggles and troubles and they triumphed over it, beautifully, so they may be spoiled but they are strong and resilient! They will handle what they need too! Eagle could be a bird they love or I’m hearing maybe some of them have an eagle tatted. This fake ass friend I feel like they are undependable and insincere but they make excuses for them, only to avoid facing an issue, this may be a family friend? I feel there’s a hesitation to cut this person off, this person your spouse cannot depend on yet…….. that person still around I bet. Ugh! 😩! Your person needs to stop being so nice, they are sweet as fuck and I feel this person uses the family and your person. They are the type to get warnings ahead of time, whether it be their intuition or an actual person warning them but I feel like they always get the heads up! They are about to face a problem in the near future if they’re not facing nothing now. Some of you will be dealing with a person with white, blonde, or gray hair, some could dye it, some older, shit some is both! They’re the type of come from the families of legacies, like fashion companies, hotels, inventions, etc. They could have been next in line? I feel like with others who gained the wealth I feel like they worked but it came rather quickly, your spouse found what they loved and made millions off it. This pile is a lot about their possessions because even the next card is letting you know that right now they are increasing in material wealth right now, spiritual growth as well, which why I feel like this fake ass friend will be seeing the door soon this year! They could’ve had a goldfish as a pet or they do right now (Random). They love to vacation and take time away from everything. They’re a traveler! They are the type to drop everything and go to the fuccin Mykonos or Fiji just cos they can! They are extremely wealthy! Billionaire status to some of them I feel the ones that come from money in their family. Others they are millionaires or damn near close asfcc they could be on vacation right now, or they’re in desperate need of one.

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Pile VI

They are highly praised and thought of, this may be the fame pile and nah not entertainment celebrity but a celebrity in their fields. They’re know as probably gods/goddesses in their field of work. They’re very loved and adored by many, they have lots of fans and people throwing themselves at them. They’re very loved! 🥰 Love is hella important to them. They want to love so much! They search for true love, they may wear bows in their hair, remember bows are just accessories for any gender!!! They could be born in November or you may meet them around that time. I feel like Thanksgiving may be important to them too, they may love helping others, volunteering, I am hearing turkey drives. This is your true love by the way P6. They are in some trouble right now or have gotten into some trouble, either they were making accusations or someone was making accusations against them. I feel they’re in the hot seat at the moment or they’re putting someone else in the hot seat. I feel like it’s the first one, lots of people may be jealous of their fame, success so they’re doing anything they can to make them fall and suffer, lose that credibility. They feel like something is lacking in their life, I feel like it’s love but it can be anything, from money or goals, they just feel like they’re lacking something in their lives. They also I feel keep their emotions tucked in a barrel, I’m hearing some shit about image so maybe that’s how they move, they move the way they think they should to keep the fame. Opportunities are waiting for them at the door, opportunities that they create for themselves. Great businessmen/women! They handle the shit right! I’m not sure if they have a lot of money I don’t think they do I think they have a lot of fame, and notoriety but I don’t feel like they are rich or wealthy enough yet, they aren’t struggling they’re building up but they’re not where they want to be right now. They are about to have an exciting event that I feel will bring them in everything that they want. I feel like you guys may meet an exciting event. I feel like they may have a gong or like the sound of them ? (Random). They will be successful that’s guaranteed I’m seeing, they took their time, planned right and worked their fucking asses off they will be hella successful this year !!! This is a NEW PERSON! You don’t know them, you haven’t met them, like p4 you could’ve heard of them but you haven’t met them yet, this person hasn’t entered your life yet but they will, I think this year!!!! As soon as I said that a month card came out man!!! May!!!! They can be a Taurus, or Gemini, Scorpio or Sagittarius. They hella sensual. They may like to eat! You may meet in May. They have flopped a few times coming up in their lives, they’ve tried many different approaches and ways and have been unsuccessful. They didn’t give up they kept going and told themselves that they would be better next time and they were going to make it! They’re very focused i am getting earth sign energy major Capricorn energy especially! They are very poetic. Some of them are writers, or write with quill. 🪶. They are so creative and they are getting the start they deserve, they just want to make it, they just want to make it in what they love and continue getting the love for it, I honestly hope they do. Things are going to change for the better for them, they will make it and be successful and they will be triumphant and whatever they are facing in life. They are a bit arrogant and boastful, they aren’t a dick but they’re very egotistical and they don’t play about what they have, don’t cross these people either I feel like bad karma happens to those who cross your spouses, hella protected in the spirit world and I feel they know that and that’s why they are so cocky well a part of it, they are loud and they are goin to be heard no matter what, they show off too, I’m telling you major Capricorn vibes, this person is on their way to becoming CEO’s and Bosses this year yahhhhhh!

📖 📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

Well thanks for tuning in!

Happy fuccin new years🎉

Get ready for the new year it’ll be killer!

Up’s and down’s but you’re a lot further than you were before so don’t forget it!!

I hope you enjoyed the reading and it brought you confirmation and clarity. TRY NOT TO COMMENT ANY THING ABOUT WHAT YOU READ! Some people look at the comments and are swayed to choose a certain pile based on someone else’s confirmation so please! If you have anything you want to say dm me, send in an ask, please try to comment only your feelings about the reading not any revealing information if that makes sense! Thanks babessss!

#tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot community #psychic #tarot cards #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a card #free tarot reading #fs pick a pile #thementalshawty #fs reading #fs tarot #fs pac #tarot readings #tarot witch #love reading #intuitive readings #tarot tumblr #free tarot #love tarot reading #free tarot readings #tarot pac #pick a picture #pac #pac reblog #tarot

[slushiepizza]

I Love You, Just Like This

Guy/Honey (Redacted Audio)

Loving has never come easy for Honey. Physical affection nor words of affirmation has never been their forte, yet they desperately wanted Guy to know that they love him more than they could express.

Tags : Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Honey works at Vesta and Kayla is Honey's Coworker, Struggles with Affection/PDA, Swearing

also on ao3

notes : SDHBSHDB this is my first fanfic ever;; and I don't really know what I'm doing

Sheets of torrential rain poured down on Dahlia. Honey looked down upon their now-ruined shoes as puddles started to form under the side of the office building that they’d taken refuge in. They shifted from one foot to the other. It’d been a long, tiring day of work and they’d do anything to crawl under the covers and sleep, yet the late-August weather didn’t seem to be on their side. Sighing, they pulled their work blazer against their cold, miserable body. 

A voice came from beside them. “Damn, it still hasn’t stopped raining?” 

“Yeah. Been thirty minutes and no signs of slowing.” 

Kayla, fellow Vesta Distribution Co. employee, started typing on her phone, the light of the monitor glowed against her face. “Are you also taking an Uber, or-? We could share the ride if we happen to live in the same direction.” 

“Uh, no. Thanks for the offer, though. My boyfriend is coming. Although there’s no telling when he’ll be here. Traffic and all.” 

“Huh,” Their co-worker looked up from their phone. “Is he also from work, or?” 

Honey gave a dry laugh. “No, but, you’ve met him, remember. It’s Guy, my plus one at your engagement party?” 

“...Right. I don’t know, I just assumed that you were friends or something. No offense, but the two of you seemed distant, is all. And I never really pegged you to be the type for relationships.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I’m not sure, it’s your whole…vibe. I guess. You can come across as intimidating. Like, those new-hires you trained? Completely terrified of you. It’s like they’re trying not to shit their pants every time you give them feedback. Same thing with your boyfriend. It’s like you’re tense. You guys didn’t even hold each other’s hand or anything. That’s why I assumed you’re just friends. ” 

Honey tightened their grip on their work bag. “Really,” they said in disbelief, trying to not sound hurt.  “I don’t do it on purpose. And my criticisms were all constructive.” 

They ignored the second comment.

“I know,” Kayla reached out and patted them on the shoulder. “I mean, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re all that…imposing. Much. Anyway, my ride’s here. See you on Monday.” She took out an umbrella and walked away to the awaiting car. 

Honey was alone again, and it gave them all the time in the work to mull over their co-worker’s words. The bright, fluorescent lights of the skyscrapers of Dahlia’s Business District  made Honey feel small. As cars zoomed past, Kayla’s words echoed in their head. 

I just assumed that you were friends or something. The two of you seemed distant. 

It hit them like a pile of bricks. A dull, painful feeling wormed its way in their chest. The sound of rain against the pavement rang in their ears. 

“Honey!” 

They turned around to see him, and oh, how they ached. Guy fixed them with a toothy smile, and looked at them with more love than they deserved as he held the umbrella over their head. He giggled, “Aw, is my honey-baby cold? Tired, perhaps? Never fear, as your noble cavalier is here to rescue you.“ 

“Hey.” In the quiet of their car, his voice quieted to a whisper. “Long day at work?” 

“Yeah, it’s been a shitty day. I’m ready to pass out.” They cleared their throat  and mumbled. “Thanks, by the way. For picking me up.” 

“Of course. I’d never leave my amazing, beautiful, partner stuck in the rain. Alone, in the cold, craving the warm embrace of their sexy and handsome boyfriend.” 

“You shouldn’t have to. It’s late, and I know the shift at Max’s tired you out already.” 

Guy did look exhausted. Honey was well aware of how packed his schedule was, with the pitch meeting that ran all morning and his sixteen-hour shift at the pizza place. There were bags under his eyes, yet when he wasn’t looking at the road, his eyes still gazed at them so warmly. 

“You know that it’s nothing. You underestimate me, Honey! I’m very familiar with being tired, just like how you tired me out last night, eh-” 

“Guy!” They said, exasperated, yet a laugh escaped their lips. “You’re so stupid.” 

“Oh, you love me for it,” he sang as his right hand rested against Honey’s thigh, searching for theirs. Guy’s hand was warm as his fingers interlocked with theirs and gave a reassuring squeeze. 

Silence soon fell over the two of them like a blanket, and all Honey could think was the way the light from passing cars outside the window illuminated Guy’s soft features. His brows furrowed in concentration, yet his eyes were unbearably kind. His mouth curved into a relaxed smile like this was easy. Like loving them was second nature.

It was always like this, with Guy. They knew that he’d do anything for them, things beyond being stuck in bad-weather and traffic when he could’ve been resting after working all day. 

A heavy feeling washed over them. Did Guy know that they’d do anything for him, too? 

Honey loved Guy. More than anything. Yet this much love for someone was uncharted territory for them,  the vulnerable feeling wormed under their skin uncomfortably. A familiar line of thought came, one that they have visited and revisited multiple times whenever they thought about their boyfriend. 

Guy deserved someone who could love him properly. 

They knew this about Guy: when he loved someone, he’d love them with his whole being. It’s the boundless, unrestrained sort of love, with nothing held back. Everyone in his life would attest to that, even if they did so with an eyeroll and sigh. 

A memory came to mind. Back in college, when they weren’t dating yet, Honey had a horrible fever. It’d been their second night at Dahlia, and they were stuck in bed. Guy, the college-assigned roommate they barely knew at the time, stayed by their side with a bowl of chicken noodle soup when all of his friends were out on freshman-year parties. 

Caring for someone never came naturally for Honey. They were used to being there for themselves, and they just drifted. They came and went from people’s lives without saying a word, only making their presence known when necessary. 

It finally dawned on them; they should try harder, for Guy’s sake.

 Acting so indifferent towards him to the point that their coworker never knew that they were in a relationship with him was a clear sign that they haven’t been putting enough effort to love him. The pangs of guilt clawed at their insides, and they desperately wished that they didn’t have so many hard edges. 

“We’re hooome. Now it’s time for a shower and later we can be snug as a bug in a rug-,” Guy turned to look at them and paused. 

“...Honey? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

They swallowed the lump in their throat. They felt so useless, here they were, being a burden to him again. Guy looked at them with a concerned expression.

”We don’t have to talk about it right now, if you don’t want to. It’s just that- There’s something’s on your mind, isn’t there?

Honey averted their gaze. Please don’t look at me like that. 

“Guy,” they started, trying to force the words out of their mouth.“Do you want me to…do more PDA?” 

Honey was horrified. It definitely was not how they wanted to sound. It’s embarrassing, almost juvenile. 

Guy didn’t laugh. His thumb ran soothing circles in the back of their palm. 

“Honey, no.” he frowned. “Where’d that come from?” 

“Well, a coworker said that she assumed that we were friends. Presumably because we seemed… distant. And she’s right, you know, it is a little weird that we don’t really do that when other people’s around. All because I’m afraid of people staring and I just- can't.” Honey felt warm tears started rolling down their face. 

“And fuck, Guy,” Honey choked back a sob. “I want people to know that I love you. I want you to know that I love you so damn much.” 

“Honey,” his voice sounded hurt. “Can I hold you?” 

As they nodded, he reached for them over the centre console and wrapped his arms around them. 

“I know, Honey. I know. You love me in ways that I can’t even describe. And you don’t have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with to prove that to others. ” 

His honey buried their face in his chest, staining his shirt, yet he paid little mind. “You gave me more love than I deserve. I know you love me because you stayed with me when I struggled to finish my manuscripts. Because you told me to rest when I was sick and refused to stay still.” 

“You were such a little shit back then,” they sniffed. 

“I know!” he laughed.” And you laid down with me until I fell asleep, even when you had a lot of work to do.” 

“I have no doubt that you love me, Honey,” Guy tightened his hold on them. “And I love you, just like this. Just as you are.” 

The rain outside the car slowed into a light drizzle, and in the stillness of the night, there were no witnesses to how Honey cupped the side of Guy’s face and kissed him. 

#redacted guy #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted honey #redacted fanfic #slushiewrites

[mariipun]

Adventures of Wally & The Gang (plus their Caretaker)

Adventures of Wally and the Gang (plus their Caretaker)

Associates Meeting (one-shot)

Warnings: None. Just fluff and funsies honestly; silly antics some of the cast members get themselves into. By no means are my interpretations in relation to Clown’s work, and therefore, not canonically based. Consider this an introduction to the whimsical one-shots to come with our dear Caretaker and the gang.

Word Count: 1,970

Brief Description: Set in the modern world, the Welcome Home cast is alive and aware, living alongside humans. And you have been contracted to be their Caretaker. [you are referred to by the puppets as “Caretaker” or “Care” for short.]

Dedication: @nonomives @kandavers

 *blows kiss* Wanted to give you both this as my debut. 

[I am open to constructive criticism, feedback and ideas! Please inbox me if you have any! I’m a bit rusty with writing, so I appreciate any insight]

In a world much like the Muppets, puppets co-exist with humans. Although the colorful ensemble of characters from the beloved children’s TV show portrays themselves as sweet, educational, fun-loving personas-- when they aren’t on the air, they happen to get themselves into quite a lot of mischief. And you, the lucky individual that you are, have been contracted as their Caretaker to ensure these chaotic puppet actors stay on schedule and don’t put themselves in situations that could cause bad publicity.

You walked off set after speaking to one of the producers as the show had wrapped up earlier than expected. This made it easier to schedule the upcoming appointments you had meticulously organized around the otherwise busy puppet’s schedules. With clipboard in hand, you made your way over to the break area, where most of the cast members were chatting with stagehands, makeup artists, or lounging in their deck chairs.

“All right everyone!” You clapped your hands together to garner the attention of the cast, all eyes turning to you except for Barnaby standing over the spread table, hungrily grabbing at the box of doughnuts one of the interns had placed out. You deadpan at him before shouting his name, earning an audible hmph?! as the blue mass turned to look at you, a sprinkled doughnut hanging from his mouth, with two others in hand.

“Okaaaay—now that I have everyone’s attention, we have an early flight to catch tomorrow for our meeting with our studio associates, which will take place later in the afternoon once we’ve arrived.” You scan the break area to ensure they’re still listening, amused by Julie and Sally as they respond with shared squeals, already chatting about plans to sightsee the area and meet their adoring fans. Their bubbly response caused you to grin momentarily, before turning serious.

“That means! You all need to be awake, packed, and ready to go at 6 A.M. sharp.” You say sternly, now earning loud groans from a few of the puppets.

“Okay, okay.” You waved your hand dismissively to the choir of complaints. You didn’t know why they were complaining, considering they usually wake up this early in the morning to start the show. Rolling your eyes, you let out a breath, mentally preparing for whatever shenanigans these puppets will pull on you later. “You guys have the rest of the day to relax since it’s only 2 P.M. right now. Just remember, we need to stick to the schedule. I don’t want to have to explain myself to the Manager if things derail.”

With a resounding “All right” from everyone, you went your parting ways and continued to work out the schedule’s details. “Also! Julie, you better pack light! We are only staying for two days, so don’t bring your whole wardrobe with you—again…” You called after her, ignoring her refusal to do so.

[Next Day: 5:41 A.M.]

You grabbed your duffle bag, slinging it over your shoulder before grabbing the briefcase on your way out of your small apartment. Before descending the stairs of the apartment building, you turn back in to grab your coffee, yawning in the process. “Ugh, gonna be a long day.” You murmur to yourself, the lingering drowsiness from slumber not yet leaving your body. You check the time on your phone as you take a gentle sip. You only lived a 7-minute walk away from the set, which you were grateful for since (1) You didn’t own a car and (2) The Studio provided you with lodging once you agreed to be the cast’s Caretaker. The pay was all right considering the added bonuses of what the Studio provided for you, although, it’s probably due in part to the various applicants that had been hired and then immediately quit due to their lack of ability to actually wrangle the cast from committing any sort of war crimes. (Guess the Studio needed to give some sort of incentive for someone to fill the role). Taking on the task was daunting at first since you quickly learned how eager the members were to push boundaries. You didn’t necessarily blame them for being curious since there was still so much of the world they wanted to learn about. Of course, this made your job more difficult to handle at times.

[5:53 A.M.]

You walked through the studio’s hallways, quietly greeting good mornings to other studio employees as you passed. The meeting location for everyone was in room 2A, usually reserved for auditions, but opened for you to ensure everyone came on time. Arriving at the room, you saw that most of the members had already arrived. Poppy, sitting comically large on one of the chairs and leaning against the wall as she continued to sleep. Barnaby and Wally both lazily tapping on their phones; Frank and Eddie who were both reading; Howdy who had just strolled in with a loud yawn, and…. Julie and Sally? Who weren’t even here yet. Of course, knowing them Sally would come in ‘dramatically’ late, as per usual, and Julie would usually stroll along. You greet those who were already there good morning, earning a few mumbled good mornings in return and a quiet snore from Poppy. You leaned against the wall next to the entrance, taking out your schedule:

6 A.M. - morning roll call

6:10 A.M.- arrive to cars

6:30 A.M. - board private jet

8:30 A.M. (projected arrival time)

9:00 A.M. – early check-in

-

-

-

1:30 P.M. – production meeting

-

-

-

5:30 P.M. – dinner reservation (for self)

-

-

You nod, everything was still on track for the most part… Sally would soon come in beaming and entered the room with a loud, sing-songy “I’m here!”, followed by the same response as the heaving Julie dragged an absurdly stuffed suitcase in tow. The sudden intrusion caused Poppy to jolt awake, everyone else looking over as the pair came in. You glanced at the time, 6:12 A.M.

“You’re late…and I told you to pack light--” You comment, shaking your head gently as the two tried to begin explaining. Raising a hand to stop them, you turned to everyone with a small smile, went over the plans for travel, and ushered them all to the awaiting cars outside.

[8:32 A.M. Landing]

As the jet landed, everyone deplaned and entered the cars that would transport them to the hotel. Once you have all arrived at the hotel, you check everyone in, soon giving them each their own room keys on the same floor. You gave them all a nod of approval as you all entered the elevator and went up to the 14th floor. You all agreed to meet in the lobby after freshening up to discuss any further plans. As you waved to them, you entered your room and took in the welcoming atmosphere. Plush pillows, clean sheets, a stocked mini fridge, a desk, a great window view, and a bathroom full of high-quality amenities you would surely take back home. (No one’s going to miss a few small bottles of shampoo and conditioner anyway). You place your briefcase on the desk, plop the duffle bag on the chair, and throw yourself onto the inviting bed. With arms spread wide, you inhale sharply as you stretch, sighing in contentment for a moment. The temporary silence gave your much-needed overworked mind some peace, before going into the bathroom to get ready. You would soon greet everyone with a much chippier attitude as they had all been waiting for you in the lobby area. You took notice as more guests began to enter the hotel, some with young children excitedly pointing out Wally and the others, pleading to meet them as their tired parents tried to calm their resounding squeaks. It was times like these when you got a break, witnessing the excitement and wonder of fans felt endearing. You were with a group of celebrities after all. Trying to keep a low profile was, unfortunately, not an option in your field of work.

“So, what do you guys want to do?” Eddie inquires. Everyone began throwing out ideas, Julie insisting they go shopping; Frank, who commented on a museum exhibit; Sally wanting to check out the old (presumably haunted) theaters; Howdy and Poppy bouncing ideas about taking a tour downtown; and Barnaby mentioning an all-you-can-eat buffet. The overwhelming chatter droned out your thoughts as everyone turned to you, arguing that they “Should do this!”, “No, this—“, “Care, I want to—“. You tried hushing everyone as their voices became increasingly loud in volume, garnering more attention from the hotel guests as their rambunctious natures were disturbing the ease of the lobby.

“Hold on, hold on. We only really have three more hours before we go to the meeting, so we might not be able to do everything today—” You try to console everyone, your response not satisfying the puppets as they began bickering amongst themselves. You heard a few complaints that you were being too ‘strict’, too ‘uptight’, ‘just relax a bit will ya, we’ve got time’. You huff, knowing you needed them all together since they’d do ‘who knows what’ when apart from you. Maybe you should just ask to be promoted from Caretaker to Glorified Babysitter at this point, the title is more suitable. You attempted to hush them again, only to be met with more insistence that they do “this idea, or that”. You could barely put a word in as your eyes slowly fell on Wally, who in his usual laid-back manner, said nothing. Simply observing the conversations and locking eyes on you.

You could tell by his demeanor, mischievous grin on his face, he was brewing up a plan. Your eyes narrow, squinting at him as you both engaged in a stare-down. “Don’t—” You emphasized, everyone else taking notice and silently watching. “Wally. Do not—”

“Scatter.”

“I said-- Ah!--?!” Before you could protest, you were encased in oversized blue arms, Barnaby coming up to give you a hug from behind, his chuckles booming loudly in your ears. He picked you up slightly, your legs kicking as you tried yelling for them all to “Get back here!”. Both Sally and Julie bolted for the entrance, waving hello and goodbye to those they passed by; Howdy and Poppy scuttled away, continuing to chat; Frank and Eddie looked at each other before heading to the museum, as Wally sneakily exited stage left. You went limp in Barnaby’s arms, cheeks red with frustration as you slowly descended back onto your feet. He chuckled, patting your shoulder (insult to injury).

“You know kid, you should just take it easy. We finally have some downtime, just let ‘em go and have some fun. Same with you, see you in a bit.” He chimed, walking off to the hotel’s restaurant.

You stood there in defeat, running your hands up and down your face before pinching the bridge of your nose. As expected, it was gonna be a long day indeed.

[2:03 P.M. Associates Meeting]

“Shouldn’t they have been here already?”

“Yeah, I tried calling Care, but they hadn’t respo—”

You burst into the meeting room, hair disheveled, breathing heavy with Wally and Julie tucked under your arms while the rest of the members stood behind you with smiles and greetings. You stomped in, some of the associates just staring as you plopped the two in their seats as the others strolled in before settling down themselves. You said nothing, cheeks hot and nostrils flared before clearing your throat and smoothing your hair. You move off to the side, taking refuge in the seat placed against the wall. You finally slump, head tilted back and resting on the wall as the meeting began.

Yeah, you needed a promotion… and a raise.

#wally x reader #wally darling x reader #welcome home x reader #Adventures of Wally & The Gang (plus their Caretaker) #Adventures of Wally & The Gang (plus their Caretaker) series #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanfic #welcome home fanfiction #[I might have gone a little overboard but I wanted to make at least some sort of introduction to the rest of the one shots I have planned] #marsfics #welcome home off script

[nose-nippin-fun]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 4 Discussion:

I’ve seen a lot of nasty posts floating around today criticizing Vivzie and the show. I’m not here to discredit your feelings, but I think that the darker tone of episode 4 merits some constructive discussion beyond a knee-jerk, pearl-clutching reaction.

From what I’ve seen, the biggest complaint from viewers, myself included, is that this emotional episode with some fairly intense depictions of SA/r*pe was not prefaced with a content warning aside from the usual small text in the top left corner. I truly do believe Amazon should correct this going forward so that viewers can feel better prepared for tone shifts between episodes. That being said, here are my defenses of the show.

Hazbin Hotel has had a huge fan following since the pilot release back in 2019, which set the tone of the show. Between the pilot and Addict music video, people had a pretty clear indication of the adult themes that would be present in the project moving forward. The show is set in Hell, the place where the world’s worst sinners are trapped in the afterlife. This is not an excuse, this is an explanation. There are going to be several characters with tainted morality, some of whom are irredeemable. That’s why they’re in Hell. This show is not meant to glorify sins, but to shine a light on flawed, relatable characters who will grapple with ethics and other struggles and come out changed in the end.

“I can’t believe Angel doesn’t leave his situation and stays stagnant.” Have you ever lived through/witnessed abuse? It is never this easy to sever ties with an abuser. They position themselves in power to control and manipulate, and many times, it’s not physically safe to get away from them. Also, this has been ONE EPISODE, you cannot expect a character with deep trauma to be totally different after a 20-30 minute episode. Angel’s character arc will take time, but his interaction with Husk at the end is an important first step in that direction.

“So Angel is supposed to just get over his trauma because he and Husk sang a song about it?” No. If that was your takeaway, I’m truly sorry you missed the point. Husk is the only person who’s been raw and blunt with Angel (on screen) about dropping the Angel Dust persona and being Anthony. Angel is used to having to put on a flawless, sexy act at all times, so much so that that’s how people really believe he is at all times. Husk sees through this mask Angel developed to protect himself and tell him through their song that imperfect and broken as he feels, Angel isn’t alone in struggling with feelings of powerlessness and addiction. He’s not comparing his loss of overlord status to Angel’s horrible SA, he’s finding common ground and empathizing (the best way a Hellbound soul can). This song wasn’t a solution, it was a gateway to vulnerability and the beginning of change for both characters.

“We’re expected to just ship Huskerdust after Angel has done nothing but sexually harass and push Husk’s boundaries?” No. That’s absolutely the wrong reason to ship anything. While it’s true that in the first three episodes, Angel sees Husk as eye candy who might be able to distract him from his suffering, episode 4 brings a necessary shift in their dynamic. Angel is used to everyone around him wanting Angel Dust, the pornstar. But for the first time, someone doesn’t want that coveted persona, and he can’t comprehend this. Angel has no control over anything except the act he keeps up, so he clings to it as a false sense of power. It’s only after Husk tells him that he likes Angel for everything he is off camera that Angel starts to treat Husk with respect, which will pave the way for any future Huskerdust shipping.

You don’t have to agree with what I’ve written, and I absolutely don’t blame you if you’ve realized this show is not content you can comfortably consume, but please understand that depicting difficult material is not the same as glorifying or excusing it. This episode was hard for me too, because I care about Angel Dust, and I am so eager to watch his growth as the show continues. My heart goes out to anyone struggling from triggering this episode caused. I hope you’re able to safely navigate away from this show while respecting the viewers who continue to watch.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel discourse #hazbin hotel discussion #tw: sa #tw: abuse #tw: long post #spoilers #hazbin hotel spoilers

[randomness-is-my-order]

one of the main reasons for why the gods as as they are–largely selfish, unfair, immature and insular–is because they don’t operate on the same power levels as humans do. their influence is unfathomably immense and their power is hugely unchecked. their responsibilities aren’t a marked thing, either, so shirking them doesn’t always promise proportionate consequences. they exist in this limbo of otherworldly power that is beyond human grasp and thereby their behavior appears so erratic and absurd and full of bullshit to us. that’s why there’s a constant affirmation of “well, don’t try to understand what the gods do, it’ll drive you crazy” in the show itself.

BUT while all of this may be true, i think the message of the books & show ultimately is that be it a mortal human or a centuries old god, your morality is something that should still be judged on the same parameters. just because you can control the sea or embody the essence of war or cause firestorms or bring on lightning showers doesn’t mean you get to hurt those who don’t deserve it, doesn’t mean you get to mess with the lives of those you deem “below” your status. if the king of gods is being a dick, you can call him a dick. if athena is an unjust prideful bitch you can call her out on it. if poseidon is deadbeat father you can say that with your full chest. you don’t need to contextualise their actions or justify them. rationalise them? yeah, maybe so, but not more than that because why tf is it the burden of the demigods to understand these ancient powerful beings when said beings never initiate constructive and emotionally engaged dialogue with any of them? why do they need to dishonour their own feelings of hurt to avoid disrespecting the gods despite them deserving a bad reaction (a recent eg would be annabeth thinking athena’s actions are a proper retaliation for a perceived “slight”, instead of expressing her own hurt at her mother’s betrayal)?

because isn’t that exactly the kind of issue we face in the real world? we can all logically infer that there is literally NO ethical way of becoming a billionaire, then, well, do you think there’s an ethical way of being a god–atleast a major one with a physical domain? an ethical way of having control of some major element and constantly meddling with affairs of the mortal world, while full well displaying a lack of understanding of humans? just the way the gods are in the books, in the show? yes the gods have feelings and yes they are allowed to make mistakes (and doesn’t this make me laugh, because to err is to be human and all) but their actions are also allowed to be called out by demigods if they’re being hurt. their whole relationship with humanity is a two-way street anyway.

and with all that said, i think percy is a very much needed kick-in-the-shins for the gods in the series, a young demigod who refuses to dance to the gods’ tunes and stands up to them and even calls them out and strips down this idea that godhood is something superior, that godhood frees one from scrutiny and criticism.

this is just a very weird ramble and i have way more thoughts on the matter but i’ll have to take some time and wrangle it all into coherence.

for now, to summarise: the gods suck and i love when percy makes them aware of that fact.

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy pjo #pjo tv adaptation #pjo tv series #walker scobell #percy appreciation

[itsphoenix0724]

can i please request feysands daughter reader who is in a relationship with eris’s son. They’re sneaking around and when eris and the inner circle are away for a meeting in the townhouse she sneaks her in and they makeout. They’re however caught by the whole inner circle + eris. and they literally throw eachother away and act like nothing happened but everyone knows👀😭 nyx knew already and nessians daughter knew too

Kiss Me In The Quiet. (Leander Vanserra x Reader)

Warnings: Making out, a little spicy

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Hi love! Thank you so much for your request! I actually had a lot of fun with this, and if anyone is interested I would definitely be willing to write more! I appreciate the visit to my inbox, please come again! As always, constructive criticism is welcome <3

“AURELIA,” You yell down the hall to your little sister's room, and you hear her treading footsteps pad to your door before it creaks open. “You have my emerald hair comb, and I need it back for tonight.” She averts her eyes quickly, her grip tightening on the door. 

“I gave it back to you after I borrowed it.” Her cheeks are turning bright red. Your poor little sister has never been able to lie because of her obvious tell. 

Your Uncle Azriel had politely ruled her out of spy work after that. 

You shoot her an incredulous look, and she cracks immediately. “Please just let me wear it for one more night! You don’t even like emeralds!” You roll your eyes and turn to face her from your vanity chair. 

“I do like emeralds. I need it back, Aurelia.” 

“But you never even wear it. You haven’t worn it in years!” 

“That’s completely irrelevant, it's mine, I need it back!” 

“But-” 

“No buts! Get your own if you like it so much!” 

“Sisters!” Your brother bursts into the room, still looking rumpled, even though you and your sister are almost completely ready to leave. “You both have more jewels than you know what to do with. Aurelia, if you want one so bad, I’m sure Mummy and Daddy dearest will get you one for solstice.” He rubs out the crease in his eyebrows, looking so much like your father at that moment that it scares you a bit. You and Aurelia whirl on your brother, now finding a common enemy. 

“Stay out of this Nyx!” You both yell in unison. Your elder brother holds his hands up in surrender, backing up a step from the budding argument. 

“I’m not trying to intervene,” he promises, “But we’re leaving for the townhouse in twenty minutes with or without the both of you.” He sends one final look before exiting the room. Hopefully, to make himself look presentable.

“The comb, Aurelia.” You send your little sister one final look, and she stomps away in a huff, grumbling all the way, but returns the comb to your room. You pin the comb in place, holding back your hair from your face. The beautiful matching emerald green dress hugged your figure. Applying one final touch to your makeup, you were out the door and down the stairs to meet the rest of your family. Your Mother and Father looked like the pinnacle of night-kissed royalty. Your Father always looked at your Mother like she hand strung every star in the sky, it made your heart lurch in your chest and your thoughts cloud with one male. 

One male who you knew for a fact would be at this meeting tonight. 

Taking your father's arm, you appeared in the cozy living room of the townhouse. Your Aunt Nesta and Uncle Cassian, along with the twins Cassandra and Cordelia, had already arrived. Your other cousin Atlas is also perched on the arm of a loveseat, shadows whispering in his ears. Nyx immediately flocks to your cousins, Aurelia leaves to find your Aunt Elain to discuss a new baking technique, leaving you alone in the center. You spot the High Lord of Autumn in a Burgandy waistcoat. He shakes hands with your Father and presses a kiss to your Mother’s knuckles. His son stood dutifully beside him, copying the actions of his father. His eyes found you a moment later, and bolts of lightning shot through your body. 

Leander Vanserra affected you, and the asshole knew it too. 

His russet curls were brushed back tonight, and you missed the messy waves framing his face, preferably by your doing. You had to move on before the staring contest between the two of became obvious. You needed to escape the trap of his gaze, maybe get something to drink before the fire lit in the pit of your stomach consumed you whole. You just had to wait for the adults to leave for the meeting, and your cousins and siblings just had to get drunk enough to slip away into your corner of the library.

Disappearing into the kitchen you dip into one of your Father’s expensive bottles of whiskey, pouring yourself three fingers worth, and trying not to remind yourself that the color resembled a certain male’s eyes. A warmth appears at your back and steals the glass of bourbon right before it reaches your lips. Strong hands wrap around your waist, and you turn around to find the offender pressing your cup to his lips, downing the drink. 

“That was mine you know.” The hand rubs soothing circles into the curve of your waist. Despite your admonishment, Leander seems perfectly content to crowd your space and steal your drink. 

“You seem to have misplaced it, it couldn’t have found its way into my possession otherwise.” The feline grin that stretches across his face makes you want to kiss him stupid and chase the burning whiskey down his throat. He seems to agree with your sentiment because his amber eyes haven’t left your lips. “Meet me in the library at eleven-thirty. Our parents are returning at midnight.” His voice drops an octave, pouring into your veins like slow-melting sugar. 

“Only thirty minutes, I feel you may be overestimating yourself Vanserra.” He adds to your high with a dark chuckle, hand coming up to gently clasp your jaw. He tilts your head to the side, and the sight of your obedience lights sparks in his eyes. His thumb rubs over your bottom lip in a sensual promise. 

“Oh Fawn,” he tuts. Just the right amount of condescending to make you melt. He leans down so his lips are level with your ear, his lips brush against you with every word, and you stomp down every shiver threatening to surface. “We both know I can make you fall apart in five.” After that he pulls away completely, draining the rest of your whiskey, and sets the crystal glass face down on the counter. Your eyes track his tongue as he licks the remainder off his lips, he winks at you once before abandoning your heaving form in the kitchen. 

You really needed a glass of whiskey now, maybe the whole fucking bottle, if you were going to get through this night. It was only eleven. You still had half an hour of making nice to do. Walking back into the living room you found Leander sitting enthralled in conversation with your cousin Cordelia.

Two can play at his little game. If you leaned forward a bit, and if his eyes dipped to the neckline of your dress that was none of your business. 

“Where is Pandora tonight?” Cordelia asked with a slight red tinge to her tan cheeks, hulking wings ruffling behind her. You fail to hide your smugness at the way Leander doesn’t even seem to hear her question, too preoccupied with staring at you. Your cousin calls his name again and he glares at you before answering her. 

“Pandora elected to stay with my mother tonight. She was feeling a bit ill.” You don’t fail to miss the way Cordelia’s wings droop at his response, but you have no time to ponder it further as the large grandfather clock chimes once.

It’s eleven thirty. 

You announce to the group that you have to use the restroom and excuse yourself. Making your way to the library, wandering through the stacks you stop infront of a painting to lean against the small table underneath it. It’s quiet in here, with nothing but piles of books surrounding you and the blanket of moonlight streaming through the windows.  It takes five minutes for Leander to appear out of the shadows. 

“Leo,” you whisper. He’s on you in a second, pinning you in place with a searing kiss. His warm hands trace the curves of your body, lifting you in one solid motion onto the table. You get your earlier wish, hands rushing straight to his hair to get a hold of the curls you love so much. He heaves a breath before moving to kiss down your neck. 

“That was a dirty little trick you played in the living room Fawn.” He bites particularly hard at the crook of your shoulder. You thank the Cauldron for your inherited gift of glamouring because that’s sure to leave a mark. 

“Oh, my poor Lion,” he simpers at the nickname just like he always does, melting like candle wax in warm sunlight. You abuse the spot where his neck meets his ear and drawl in a voice like star-flecked silk, “Payback for what you did to me in the kitchen.” He lets out a laugh that dissolves into a moan. 

“It seems I have some apologizing to do,” His voice drops into that low timber again as he skims his hands along the underside of your breasts. 

“I was promised five minutes,” You smile as his hands start to bunch up the bottom of your dress growling at the sheer amount of layers blocking him from his destination. He’s just about to drop down to his knees and give you exactly what you’ve been waiting all evening for. 

And then the door opens. 

You two snap apart with impressive speed, even by fae standards. You pretend to read a book that had been abandoned on the table and Leander feigns looking at the titles on a nearby bookcase. 

“Alright,” Calls your mother's voice, “would the two of you like to explain something?” She raises one eyebrow at you, looking over at your clearly disheveled state. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You turn a page in the book you’re reading, the random words skimming past your eyes. 

“Sweetheart.” 

“Yes, Mother?” 

“Your book is upside down.” You sighed in defeat, closing the book and leaning your back against the wall. Your mother smiles, blue eyes alighting in victory “You owe me twenty gold marks, Rhys.” You shoot her an incredulous look as Eris appears and claps a hand on his son’s shoulder. 

“How did you find out?” Leander winces eyes darting between your parents. 

“It’s not as if the two of you make a conscious effort to hide it.” Your brother’s voice comes booming from the back, “You two practically eye fuck each other every time you’re in the same room.” Atlas smacks him upside the head as Cassandra’s laughter echoes through the library. 

“Can we please just talk about this later?” You feel your cheeks flame in embarrassment as you jump off the table. Your mother escorts you out arm and arm back into the main area of the townhouse.

“We certainly have a lot of talking to do about this later.” You know it will be a long discussion, even worse when your father starts on about inner court politics. Looking at Leander he seems to be getting a similar discussion if Eris’s muttering whispers are anything to go by, but he’s still sending you that sugar-sweet smile. 

You get the feeling in your gut that everything will turn out okay. Just as long as he keeps smiling at you like that.

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acotar imagine #acotar next gen #vanserra family #acotar x reader

[goosewriting]

Stripes (rottmnt Leo x reader)

request: reader is really insecure about something about themselves (for this, would it be ok for the stretch marks on their inner legs and lower torso area) and Leo finds this out so he does something that makes reader feel better like- idk kisses and words?

summary: reader is insecure about their stretch marks and Leo comforts them with smooches. 

relationship: Rise!Leo x GN reader

warnings: just fluff qwq

word count: ~850 

A/N: this is a request from AO3 from a while back. (reqs are closed rn!) this one has been turning in my brain like a rotisserie chicken ever since. hope it’s to your liking :D 

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

Leo came over for movie night like always. It’s become a little tradition to start the weekend together. He’s already got all the snacks ready and is waiting for you to join him in your living room. You said you’d change into something more comfortable a while ago, but never came back. 

Tapping his fingers one last time on the armrest, Leo decides to go check on you. He makes his way to your bedroom but stops at the open door, leaning on the frame. You’re standing in front of your full-body mirror, looking up and down at yourself. That’s when Leo notices the grimace you’re sporting; he doesn’t like the way you’re looking at yourself at all.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“I recently got these new shorts…” you start, rotating your body so you can see your backside in the reflected image. 

Leo is about to comment that they look really good on you, maybe joke that you’d look even better without them. But given your furrowed brows he bites his tongue.

“They’re comfy but…” you sigh, and your figure slumps slightly forward. “I don’t think I like them after all.”

“Why’s that?” Leo asks genuinely.

After a moment of hesitation, weighing in your head whether you should tell him the truth or not, you decide that there’s no point in trying to hide this from him.

“You can see my stretch marks” you finally answer, tracing the lines over your thigh.

At that, Leo pushes himself off the doorframe and approaches you slowly. He stands next to you and one hand reaches to hold your own, while the other rises to gently stroke your cheek with his knuckles. He takes a moment to find the right words, then turns to face the mirror and looks at you through it.

“To be honest, I don’t understand why they are a bad thing” he admits, and you know there’s no malice or undermining behind his words. “I think it’s cool that you have stripes like me.”

You let go of his hand with a light scoff and hug yourself, suddenly feeling exposed. 

“It’s different” you say. “Yours are actual stripes. They even glow when you activate your ninpo; that is cool. Mine are just scars, and scars aren’t pretty.”

You avert your eyes from the mirror, unable to look at the turtle or yourself anymore, feeling the tears starting to sting behind your eyes.

“Go ahead to the living room” you say and turn towards your wardrobe. “I’ll change into some sweats and be right there.”

You never make it to your second choice of pants though, because you’re being gently pulled back. Leo guides you to sit on the bed, and you comply, averting your eyes to the ground. He kneels down in front of you and softly grabs your chin to have you face him.

“Scars aren’t a bad thing” he says, a soft lop-sided smile adorning his features, trying to comfort you. “They mean you overcame something, that you were strong. And your stripes show how amazing your body is at adapting and protecting you.”

His hands roam up your legs lovingly, starting to trace out the visible patterns of stripes peeking out from under your shorts.

“You always say how much you like my stripes” he whispers, placing a soft kiss on your inner thigh that makes your breath hitch. “I see yours the same way.”

The next couple of minutes are spent in silence, the only thing you can hear is the thrumming of your heartbeat in your ears as Leo’s lips ghost over your stretch marks, placing soft kisses along your thighs, climbing further up. You lean back onto your elbows as his hands lift your shirt, revealing your midriff and the marks that reach almost to your belly button. Leo’s kisses and caresses continue here as well, until he kisses up a trail over your stomach, chest, to your neck, and finally, your lips. 

By now, all your senses are focused on him and him alone. You understand the message he’s trying to get across, and for now at least, you believe it. You let yourself fall onto your back completely and your hands join behind Leo’s neck, kissing him deeply, thanking him for his comfort. 

The kisses turn into a lazy make-out, and when you finally feel like you’re able to talk again without bursting into tears at his softness and the intimate gesture, you gently push the turtle off of you. 

“There’s a movie still waiting for us” you say, slightly out of breath. 

“Right” he responds after clearing his throat and gets off the bed. You follow suit and give him one last peck on the cheek, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you for that, by the way” you mumble into his plastron. “I needed that.”

“Anytime” he answers, hugging you back just as tightly, but then he lets go suddenly.

“Race you to the couch!” he calls over his shoulders as he's already left the room.

“Cheater!” you accuse him, making your way to the living room with a laugh, insecurities long forgotten.

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [more info in my pinned post!] @hearteyedracoon, @koalaray, @maribatshipper, @whygz, @xnorthstar3x

#goose feathers #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt leo x reader #leonardo x reader #rise leo x reader

[gerec]

Valentine’s Day Ficlet - The Roses Have to be Red

crystalshard said: Cherik, painting the roses red. (Yes, it’s that reference to chess queens and playing cards. Take it in whichever direction you please, because there are too many options for me to pick one and anything you write will be amazing.)

-----

“Um, what you doin’ there, Erik?”

What he’s doing is making a mess of the Valentine’s Day card he’s been working on all morning, and quickly running out of time. Miss MacTaggert says they’re going to stop doing crafts at lunch time, and spend the rest of the afternoon on reading and math. They don’t do the card exchange until just before bell rings at the end of the day, so if he’s not done soon he’ll have to live with the shame of creating something substandard.

(He learned that word, ‘substandard’, from Uncle Daniel when he was complaining about the plumber’s work in his kitchen.)

“I ran out of red construction paper! I can’t put white roses on my card, Az, it has to be red!”

Azazel tilts his head and looks at his card with a critical eye.

“Why did you do some in marker and some in pencil crayon? It looks unbalanced.”

“I know.” Erik is close to tearing his hair out (he is not going to cry – because he’s in Grade One and first graders don’t cry when they’re upset) and he doesn’t need Az’s unhelpful input. “I tried paint first, but it was too wet and it made a big mess! Then I switched to marker but Sebastian took all the other reds and left me with just one and it ran out!”

Azazel snorts. “Emma doesn’t even like red. You guys should just trade cards. You can give his red one to Charles and he can give your white one to Emma.”

“I am not giving Charles a card made by Sebastian Shaw,” Erik says with gritted teeth. “He’s my nemesis! What if Charles thinks Sebastian likes him? What if Sebastian asks him to be boyfriends? It’s my worst nightmare, Az! I’d have to ask Mama to move, I couldn’t live—"

He’s so worked up that he nearly misses the soft voice piping up behind him, “Hi Erik. Hi Azazel.”

“Hey Charles,” Az says, giving his angel – his! – a great big smile. “How’s it going?”

“Good. I finished my Valentines so I’m helping Miss MacTaggert with clean-up,” Charles says, and he’s just so pretty, with his perfect hair and big blue eyes and Erik’s card is such a mess and oh my god he wants sink into the ground and disappear—  “That’s a lovely card, Erik. I think it’s really cool, using different instruments for contrast.”

Erik blinks. “Really? You like it?”

Charles cheeks flush pink, and Erik thinks it’s the most wonderful thing he’s ever seen. “Yes, it’s a work of art! Whoever you’re making it for is going to be really happy.”

Then Charles winks at him, before turning back and heading over to Miss MacTaggert’s desk. Erik looks down at his card and looks up at Az, who is trying very hard not to laugh.

Erik doesn’t care what Azazel thinks; he’s going to marry Charles Xavier someday.

“I’m going to marry Charles Xavier someday,” he says, and goes back to coloring his very excellent card.

#gerec writes #cherik #valentine's day fic #@crystalshard #kids au

[froggyfics]

For Your Pleasure - 1

The invaders arrive.

Y'all...this series is wild.

18+ only! I do not consent for this content to be viewed by minors. Please take heed of the warnings listed, though they are not entirely comprehensive. Do not continue reading if you are uncomfortable with the content. This story and its contents are 100% fictional, and are not affiliated with Marvel Comics.

Feedback is always appreciated. Feel free to message me privately or comment below to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Pairing: viking!dark! Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Warnings: violence, bloodshed, nonconsensual touching

Word Count: 1,351

You never thought you could see so much blood. If it were not for the rain, it would have settled into your pores and stained you. However, you knew that whether it was raining or not, you would be changed. The blood could be washed out, but your mind was forever scarred.

Njal’s head remains in the water. The open wound on his neck still spills blood into the water, tainting it pink. 

You want to look away from the horror of seeing his dead body, but at the same time you don’t want to. Looking away would be a disservice to Njal. You want to remember. Remembering meant that you were alive. And being alive meant that you could curse him and his band of murderers. 

Your jaw clenches in anger when he steps directly on Njal’s head to cross the stream. The sound of his foot colliding with the back of Njal’s head reverberates in the air. 

“Hush now, Frida.” You hug her sideways, and rub her arm comfortingly. She continues to shake violently due to the fright and cold. The heat generated by rubbing your hand against her arm is pointless, but you can’t stop. You must do something – anything – even if it’s meaningless to distract you from the chaos. 

He stomps on the puddle directly in front of you and Frida. The mud splatters on the hem of your dress. Frida’s whimpers only increase in volume, but you hold her steady. As long as you look down, as long as you remain silent, perhaps he will spare you. 

The fear overcomes Frida. She yanks herself out of your grasp and desperately attempts to run. Her feet lodge in the mud several times, which exasperates how pathetic she looks trying to escape.

“Frida, no!” you call out. 

It’s already too late. You watch in horror as he reaches behind his back to grab an arrow from his quiver. He aligns the arrow on his arrow rest and the nocking point. He pulls the white string back and the arrow swooshes through the air.

You look away, defeated. You’re not as brave as you thought you were. Her scream pierces your eardrums.

You are the one now violently shaking. Except, no one is here to comfort, or at least try to comfort you. You’re not sure where your family is. You all split up the moment they landed on your shores. They may be dead or they be alive. Regardless, they aren’t coming to save you. 

“They always run,” he sighs. “Pointless, truly.”

You say nothing. You’re not even sure if he’s speaking to you or to someone else. 

He grabs your chin roughly to look at him. It hurts. You feel as though your jaw will break in his metal arm. 

“Will you run?”

You shake your head immediately. 

He smiles at you, but it frightens you even further. His white teeth are covered with blood. You’re not sure if it’s his own or…

You’ve heard of the Jarl of Brooklyn before. His violent reputation crossed continents and seas. But Brooklyn always seemed so far away. Even when a nearby village was pillaged by him a few months past, it never occurred to you that he would come here, to your humble settlement.

“I have grains,” you offer. “They’re – they’re stored on my property.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Oh, do you now?”

“Yes!” you breathe a sigh of relief. He sounds entranced by your offer. Maybe if you willingly appease him, he’ll let you live. He’ll let your family live. “I can take you to my home. Please.”

He looks you over and you almost are embarrassed by the way you look until you remind yourself of the circumstances. 

“Alright, take me to your home.” He’s still smiling. You’re sure that you’ll have nightmare of his face for the rest of your days.

You trudge through the thick mud, slipping every so often, only to be held up by his hand around your neck. Though it may seem like you’re guiding him, he’s the one in control of the situation. His hand rests on the back of your neck, reminding you every step home that there is truly no escaping him.

You recognize the fallen villagers. Every single one that you pass. Njal was your neighbor, always helping your father during harvest season. Hilda made the most beautiful, beaded jewelry for you and your sister at a discount. Gertrud taught you to swim. 

And Frida was…a child. A stupid, rambunctious, annoying one. You were always irritated at her presence – her high energy conflicted with yours. She always wanted to follow you around the village like a thorn in your side. Now more than ever, you want to hear her ramblings in your ear. You wish she was right next to you, bothering you, asking you question after question. If only you knew to be grateful that pesky Frida was the worst of your troubles.

As you approach your home with your warden right behind you, you encounter several more intruders. You can’t help but scowl as they pillage your neighbors’ homes and grope the women without shame. You pass by Helga and Leif’s home. Even though the door is closed, you can hear Helga’s screams. There’s nothing you can do.

You guide the strange man to your family’s home, opening the wooden door shakily. 

“There,” you point at the barrels near the hearth, but the man is not listening to you. 

You catch him observing every part of your house. Dread fills your body as it becomes clear that the man wants more than just grains.

“Please, just take the grains. We have nothing left to offer you.” 

It’s a lie. You have several pounds of dried meat in the smokehouse, and barrels full of milk and skyr are hidden underneath the table benches. But offering the man your family’s grain supply will certainly lead to a hungry winter, so you do your best to keep up the rouse.

His frightening eyes meet yours, and his face stretches to a bloody smile. 

“I’m sure you have more to offer than some grains.”

Were you that bad of a liar? You gulp as you wrack your brain to figure out a solution that won’t leave your family destitute for the winter.

“Berries. Fresh ones. We’ve just picked lingonberries and strawberries.” You walk to a barrel next the grains. “Right here.” You pat the barrel filled with berries. 

“I’m sure you have more to offer than some berries.”

The blue-eyed man stands an arm’s length away, but inches towards you.

You step backwards to avoid his grasp. “Skyr!” you gasp when his arm nearly grabs your own. “We have skyr as well.”

“I’m sure you have more to offer than some skyr.”

Goodness, this man intends to starve your family!

“Please, this is all that we have!”

You continue walking backwards, circling the hearth while he follows you. Every two steps you take is equivalent to one of his. You pick up your pace and so does he.

As if you didn’t learn a lesson from Frida, you attempt to run yourself. Your feet jump and you change the direction of your body in midair towards the closed door. The moment you land on your feet he plants his foot in between your legs. 

You land on the ground with a thud. The air is knocked out of your body, but there’s no time to catch your breath. He flips you onto your back and sits on your stomach. He unsheathes his knife from his waist. The blade is dark red, the blood upon it has already dried. He lowers the tip of it to your clavicle and sharply moves downward. The cold air nips your newly exposed chest.

His weight makes it difficult for you to take a deep breath in, so you can barely him through your gasping when he starts to speak.

“I’m sure you have more to offer,” he says, all while smiling with blood in teeth, mud in his hair, and sadism in his eyes. 

#marvel comics #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #viking!bucky barnes #bucky barnes #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky x you

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (164-166)

In which interviews are viewed, closets cleaned, and nobody is Mr. Darcy.

If you'd like to follow along, the series page is here.

164. Object of Fun

Jared sinks deeper into his spot, taking several angry sips of his beverage, aims a glare at the back of Bryce’s head as he gesticulates at a group of rapt rookies, for not being as grumpy about this as Jared is, and waits for Stephen to make his way over. It doesn’t take long. He can’t help himself.

“Why are you here?” Jared demands.

“Hi Jared,” Stephen says. “So lovely to see you.”

Whatever the opposite of a ray of sunshine is? Jared is that. Disgruntled storm cloud.

Mortifying himself in front of his teammates is one thing, total strangers is another. Not that Stephen’s a total stranger, but — it’s the principle of the matter. The principle of the matter says that Stephen should not be here to mock him.

Stephen disagrees. He thinks it’s very important he is here to mock him.

Jared’s still sputtering with indignation when Gabe comes over, takes one look at Jared, then sighs.

“What’d you say to break Math?” Gabe says.

“I said hello,” Stephen says.

“He also told me to learn to take a joke!” Jared says.

“Well,” Gabe says. “You do need to work on that. Also to take constructive criticism, but you’re getting way better at that one. Unless it comes from Dmitry.”

He is improving at that one (barring Dmitry). But a joke? At his expense? Jared is not here for it.

“Sit down, Jared,” Stephen says.

“I’m getting a drink,” Jared says.

“No you’re not,” Stephen says. “You don’t think I recognise a fellow coward?”

Stephen continuing to be like ‘you’re me when I was six years younger, you don’t think I know every play in this book?’.

“That’s not a comeback when I just admitted it,” Stephen says, stealing Bryce’s seat — not that Bryce has sat in it, he’s been on the move since they got there, catching up with teammates and eating all the tiny quiches — to monitor him. It’s clear that’s what he’s doing even before he says, “I’m here to babysit you so Gabe doesn’t have to.”

Bryce out there living his best life, socialising with friends and eating his weight in hors d’ouevres. Jared getting babysat.

“Sit down,” Stephen says. “Because your teammates mean well, they’re trying their best to be supportive, and you can endure a few chirps without dying.”

“Allegedly,” Jared says.

If he dies of humiliation you’re going to feel really guilty, Stephen.

(Will he, though?)

“Also look at your husband right now,” Stephen says.

Bryce is nodding enthusiastically at whatever Jan’s telling him, a beer in one hand, a plate of even more mini quiches in the other. He looks happy, and that’s before he somehow feels Jared’s eyes on him and turns, shooting him a huge grin when their eyes meet.

BEST LIFE.

He didn’t know they interviewed other players. Why didn’t he know they interviewed other players? Did they tell him that and he just didn’t pay attention? Did Grace know and hide it from them? Who the hell decided Dmitry was the one to talk to?

Answer is ‘yes’, ‘no one hid it from you’ and ‘Dmitry is your linemate, Jared. Also he volunteered’.

“Nothing I have heard,” Dmitry says, before his mouth tips up into a mirthless smile. “But if anyone wants to say anything, I am on Jared’s line, and my dance card is always open.”

Look at this motherfucker threatening dudes with a 19th century metaphor. Whatta guy.

Dmitry gestures at the TV. “I already did.”

“Quite obliquely too,” Stephen says. “Very nice.”

“Great use of metaphor, Dima,” Gabe says.

“Thank you, I do my best,” Dmitry says.

Stephen and Gabe are so proud.

“I’m not!” Jared says, because he’s just noticed the TV has been paused for the duration of this argument, and if talking incessantly means that nobody watches the interview, Jared is willing to argue all night. “And premeditation isn’t just murder, it’s also applicable to—“

Jared about to filibuster the fucking interview.

“I’m not kissing you in the back of an Uber,” Jared says in an undertone. Bryce’s hands are starting to wander, and their poor driver doesn’t deserve that.

“We’re out,” Bryce says.

“Us being out doesn’t make it less tacky,” Jared says, and Bryce makes a huffy noise and sits up, pouting out the window.

Bryce can’t believe you just called him the ‘t’ word, how dare you.

165. Adaptation

Love this team. Bryce has written, with alternating blue and green hearts, below a picture of Jared, looking furious, Dmitry’s hand over his mouth, Stephen a blur of blond evil in motion, while Gabe’s head is tipped back in a laugh beside him.

It’s a great picture.

“Fine,” Jared says. “Let’s take a picture.”

“I’m going to change,” Bryce says.

This fucking guy.

“I hope you don’t think I’m going to be the kind of person who regularly takes selfies,” Jared says.

“I would never,” Bryce assures him.

“This is an exception,” Jared says. “Due to special circumstances.”

“I totally understand,” Bryce says. “Can you stop looking like I’m blackmailing you into this, though?”

The camera goes off, and in the end result Jared is smiling reluctantly, looking precisely like someone who was asked not to look like a victim of extortion. Bryce’s eyes aren’t on the camera at all. Bryce’s eyes are on him.

This is also a great picture.

“But I am besotted,” Bryce says. “So I don’t like, see the problem. You should be besotted with your husband, shouldn’t you? That’s like, the point of marriage.”

Man’s not wrong.

“Raf would consider it beneath his integrity to say anything other than what he truly believes,” Jared says. “He’d like, swear on a stack of Pride and Prejudices or something.”

He totally would, and that’s why I love him.

So first of all you’ve both made the mistake of thinking Mr. Darcy is cool

He is not

He is deeply uncool and feels so many feelings and he’s trying to hide it all the time but he can’t because the man has no chill whatsoever

Fitzwilliam Darcy spends half that book having a fucking panic attack. The rest is 'I love you (derogatory)'.

165. Adaptation

“You want to come grocery shopping with me?” Jared asks.

He’s sure Bryce doesn’t, and frankly Jared doesn’t want him to — Bryce stops to look at everything, picking stuff at a whim instead of following the list, and they’re significantly more likely to get asked for autographs together than Jared is alone — but he’s learned inviting Bryce is the key to a peaceful marriage. He’ll feel left out if Jared doesn’t ask, even if he doesn’t actually want to go.

Jared doesn’t understand the FOMO, but he does accommodate it.

“Nah, interview, remember?” Bryce asks.

Jared blinks at him. Bryce has been doing interviews lately. Like, interviews plural, and voluntarily, which kind of blows Jared’s mind, even though Bryce isn’t bad with the media when he isn’t in a cold war with them, or pretending to be someone else entirely.

Because building a media presence is helpful if you want to launch a charity. That is very much in the works at this point, though it’s just Bryce and Elaine talking about it so far — other people get pulled in a bit later.

At the bottom of a bag he doesn’t think ever got unpacked he finds the Marcus shirt he bought for himself their first Christmas together. He runs his fingers over the plastic-y 9, the bunched up 4, before he finally tosses it in the donation box. Fuck the Flames. He wears Bryce’s jersey every game now. Or Bryce wears his. Either way.

Into the (proverbial) trash the Flames go.

“Did you eat?” Jared asks, reaching for his phone to turn the music off. Bryce gets visibly antsy around any music with a beat too slow to work out to.

Jared would argue he’s a selfish person (and I’m not disagreeing with him), but Bryce isn’t the only one who pays attention to likes and dislikes and changes their behaviour accordingly. And yes, this is self-serving, because extra fidgety Bryce drives Jared mad, but still.

Bryce pointedly swerves into the bathroom, like that was his plan all along. Though maybe it was, so he can tragically look at himself in the mirror. There is no more dignified way to describe his current expression than ‘pouty’.

Let the man be a little emo, Jared.

“People will notice if you try to stow yourself away,” Jared says.

“Ha ha,” Bryce says.

“Pretty sure involving international borders makes it a big deal,” Jared yawns as Bryce pulls out of their parking space. “And getting on a no-fly list would definitely fuck up road games.”

“God, I’m not going to stow away,” Bryce mutters, but not like a man who hasn’t seriously considered it.

You know all he has to do is give Brian big sad eyes and he’s getting on that plane.

“Be real with me,” Jared says. “Do you have your passport on you right now?”

“No,” Bryce says, but he says it like a fucking liar.

Jared closes his eyes, takes a giant sip of coffee, and then exhales.

“I wasn’t going to stow away,” Bryce mutters. “It was just in case.”

You know, if they run into Coach and Coach says ‘hey Bryce, want to come along?’. That’s a totally possible scenario, Jared.

“Nope,” he says, when Bryce unbelts himself at the drop off spot.

“I was just going to get your suitcase,” Bryce says.

But how can he coincidentally run into the coaching staff if you don’t let him leave the car, Jared?

When he gets off the plane, Bryce’s name is trending online again. On the drive to the hotel Jared gathers that this is because he’s involved the internet in cleaning out the closets, down to polls on what to donate and what to keep. Apparently Michael Buble has been weighing in.

I cannot overstate how big a Canucks fan Michael Bublé is. He recently admitted he cancelled a concert over a decade ago because the Canucks were in the Stanley Cup Finals. He would absolutely weigh in.

166. Byways

Jared goes on the longest road trip of the season, which is, you know. Long. Obviously. Longer than it would be if Bryce was there, also obviously.

The most poetic of my narrators.

Bryce finishes the closets on the third day, thanks to the help of the internet, and somehow that turns into a clothing drive. Bryce is cagey about how this occurred, but Jared suspects PR Grace saw an opportunity that no son of Elaine Marcus could refuse.

Boy has charity on the mind right now.

Though Jared’s never expected logic from homophobes.

Can hear the sneer right through the screen.

Closet jokes aside, social media’s consensus, according to the group chat, is that Bryce is a) a stupidly nice guy, and b) he owns way too many clothes. Jared thinks this might be the first time he’s agreed with popular consensus on anything.

Jared will conform if conformity is appreciating his husband.

They swing south just long enough for Jared to get a sunburn, then climb the eastern seaboard, manage to lose in regulation only once the entire time, to the Caps, which Raf is, of course, obnoxiously nice and humble about after.

That fucker. Someone needs to stop him.

Dmitry gets into two fights, which matches his previous total for the season. Jared refuses to notice any potential correlation between Dmitry saying his dance card is open and there being a few more fights punched onto said dance card. Oksana thinks it’s hot or whatever, Dmitry said it himself. Never mind that Oksana’s currently in a different country and therefore would not be able to act on it.

Jared doesn’t want to know, because then he’ll have to be angry and disappointed, and he just doesn’t have that in him at this point. He doesn’t ask Dmitry what the fights are about, but he doesn’t give him as much shit about screwing up the line changes by sitting in the box, because if Dmitry did fight because of him he’s not going to be a dick about it. Even though he didn’t ask him to. And frankly would prefer he didn’t.

Jared and Dmitry just mutually pretending that Dmitry isn’t getting in fights for him. (Bryce egging him on via text)

Bryce is inconsolable about the fact there won’t be pictures of Jared and Maia together, though. Maybe inconsolable’s an exaggeration, but — not much of one, honestly. He keeps telling Jared to make Ash send pictures, as if he isn’t part of a ‘Maia!!’ groupchat. Well, they both are, but Bryce actually looks at it. It’s not that Maia isn’t cute or anything, but Jared kind of misses the days where you had to physically shove a photo album in someone’s hands if you wanted them to look at pictures of your kids.

Jared will NOT conform on the matter of baby pictures.

Hugs aren’t transmissable, Jared replies, has already hailed a cab when he gets a text from Ash that Chaz is still getting stitched up from a high stick in the third. Stevie feels shitty about it, which is a message Jared will be conveying. Right when he pays for drinks with the cash Stevie shoved into his hands when he found out Jared was getting drinks with Chaz after the game.

Stevie so repentant he’s offering reparations even after sitting through a double minor.

Jared walks into the bar and immediately feels simultaneously over and underdressed, and also deeply uncool. He feels like that’s possibly the entire point of this place. He isn’t cool enough for it. Chaz definitely isn’t cool enough for it. Ash probably is. Jared suspects she’s the one who picked it, and then, when he looks at the cocktail list, he knows for sure. He’s never seen Chaz drink anything fancier than sparkling wine, and that’s because it was Bryce and Jared’s wedding. Other than that he’s a beer guy, not mezcal, tea, and…wasabi? What the fuck.

This is a real bar. That was one of the more tame cocktails.

If Ashley is having a cocktail she is having a cocktail, people, she does not get nights out very often right now.

“Are you Jared Matheson?”

“Uh,” Jared says. “Yeah.”

“Could me and my friends get a picture?” she asks, gesturing back towards a table of women around Bryce’s age.

The first time Jared’s recognised in the wild outside of Vancouver (he gets it plenty around arenas, but not out and about) but far from the last.

“But we’re New York,” Chaz says. “In New York. Everybody pretends to be way too cool to recognise people here.”

Chaz has a Norris trophy winner and a five time All-Star on his team and THEY don’t get recognised, what the hell.

“He got recognised on the subway once,” Ashley says. “And then pretended he didn’t understand English for some reason.”

“That is not the point either,” Chaz says.

“Which was problematic considering he doesn’t actually know any other language,” Ashley says.

“Just ignore Chaz,” Chaz says. “That’s fine. He’s used to it.”

“So of course he just kept saying Parlez vous francais over and over like a malfunctioning toy,” Ashley says.

“You weren’t even there!” Chaz says. “Why do you know all this!”

Chaz is a very different form of comic relief than say, Erin, or Julius, or Stephen (Hobgoblins all) but in his way, he’s my favourite bit of levity. He has a good portion of the lines that make me snort years later. 'Chaz has ears. And feelings' lives rent free in my head.

“Samuel was very, very happy to tell me all about it,” Ashley say s. “Just like he was very, very happy to listen to your beautiful French.”

“Poor Chaz,” Chaz says quietly, and that’s when Jared loses his battle to be cool enough for this place and bursts out laughing.

Poor Chaz. (But really, poor Samuel, who does speak French, as it is, in fact, his first language.)

A bear would get recognised in Hartford. is her response.

I feel like a bear would get recognised everywhere? Jared replies.

Ashley probably should have picked a less majestic animal.

Maybe polar bears blend in with the snow? But if you’re that oblivious to a polar bear he’s pretty sure you’re already dead. Polar bears are not to be fucked around with.

Rules for survival when encountering bears:

Black: fight (do something to scare them off)

Grizzly: play dead

Polar: you’re dead

Jared still doesn’t know why his sister’s allowed in the main group chat now. He feels like that’s too many Mathesons in one place. There’s a reason his family doesn’t have a groupchat, and it’s not just that none of them could be bothered to make one.

Too many cooks in the kitchen, too many Mathesons in the group chat.

This groupchat is a fucking mess.

It’s delightful, you’re a grump.

It practically overlaps with ur not calling me or j the gay kind of bear right? from Bryce, followed lol from Ashley, Lmao from Erin, and Haha from Raf.

Oh Pooh Bear, no.

Jared considers whether to chime in with a laugh of his own. He thinks ‘hee’ is a little too juvenile, so maybe a ‘heh’? Why did Raf have to take the ‘haha’? Jared is clearly the ‘haha’ person in this group.

We interrupt Bryce getting laughed at to focus on the latest thing Jared isn’t happy about sharing with others: the word ‘haha’.

“J?” Bryce says.

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Go back to sleep, I’m coming to bed.”

Bryce continues to lean on his arms as Jared unbuttons his shirt, alert but in a hazy way, clearly waiting for Jared to get into bed before he lies back down. His head is tilted in Jared’s direction, but his eyes are still shut. He’s probably three-quarters asleep right now.

Jared is home! Must stay upright, Jared is home!

“Lie down,” Jared laughs as undoes his belt, but Bryce doesn’t until Jared crawls in beside him, wrapping an arm around his torso and gently tugging him back down.

“You’re home,” Bryce murmurs.

Jared is home!!!

“I’m home,” Jared says, and when Bryce turns, pressing a clumsy, sleep-blind kiss to Jared’s face, getting more nose than mouth, Jared laughs again, low, presses a kiss to Bryce’s sleep hot temple and pulls the covers over their shoulders, tucking them in.

Soooooooooft.

#liveblogging the end

[canonicallyobserving911]

9-1-1 Season 6 - Constructive Criticisms #1

Lack of and/or inconsistencies with interviews, promos, stills, trailers, etc.

IMO Season 6 ended like a wet firecracker with no sparks or anything exciting enough to make me want to return for season 7.  While the bridge collapse included in 6x18 “Pay it Forward” had potential, it fell completely flat because it felt rushed and the injuries the team received from it were glossed over once they made it to the hospital. There wasn’t any emotional depth and it seemed like another filler episode.  Also, since it was the “supposed” culmination of an entire season/series, it made everything seem more abysmal.  The first half of the season ended abysmally too on November 28, 2022 and over the hiatus, I hoped 6B would be better.  In February 2023, the promo was released for 6x10 “In a Flash” and I became excited again about the show since it seemed like 9-1-1 was back on track but much to my dismay, that wasn’t the case.

To say I was disappointed after watching 6x18 is a gross understatement because the narrative the show followed for THE ENTIRE SEASON was discarded and I stopped watching before the episode ended. It felt like the show I’d grown to appreciate as an actual form of entertainment in the current ‘wastelands’ of network TV had turned into something that was unrecognizable because characters’ storylines were completely obliterated, CANON facts from previous seasons were erased/rewritten and it seemed like the majority of season 2 never existed.  I was so frustrated with the ending that I needed to reassess and regroup in order to figure out if I wanted to continue CANONICALLY blogging about 9-1-1.

I mentioned in a previous post (linked here) that I wanted to provide constructive criticisms from an objective perspective for the season overall and in order to do that, I needed time to reassess. Instead of posting one long 100,000-word post (yes, it’s that many words or more), which would have included everything I felt from season 6 that should have been yeeted to the sun, I decided to make separate posts about them.

My first set of “constructive criticisms” regarding the way promos were handled are included below the cut. Please note criticizing a TV show is NOT a bad thing especially since TV critics have been doing it for decades. Constructive criticisms are designed to help make something better and they are VERY different from negativity.  A person can offer criticisms about a form of entertainment they spend their time watching and not be negative about it the same way two people can agree to disagree on a topic. Just because one person liked the season, they shouldn’t expect for others to feel the way they do because everyone has their own opinions.  Simply put, two people can have different opinions about 9-1-1 and those opinions can COEXIST since they are not mutually exclusive.

If reading criticisms about 9-1-1 upsets you, then don’t read below the cut.

                      Warning! ⚠️“Constructive Criticisms” Ahead!⚠️

TV promotions for season 6 were all over the place and they were very inconsistent.  They’re supposed to generate GA interest in the episode to increase the number of viewers who will watch (hopefully live) and so they’ll know what to expect but the lack of/and or the inconsistencies in promoting them made that almost impossible. Video promos, teasers, trailers, interviews, synopses, social media, stills and everything else were delayed or nonexistent which made it difficult to follow the direction the show was attempting to take. The end result for some episodes made it seem like they were still editing up until the last minute which is ridiculous especially for a veteran TV show like 9-1-1 that was in its sixth season.  There’s no excuse for promotions to have been as minimal as they were and it’s also unfathomable for them to have not been presented to the network in a timely manner.

Promos, Teasers and Trailers Season 6 video promos, teasers and trailers were lacking and it was unnecessary since that wasn’t the case for previous seasons.  Promos for the entire season were off and it all started before 6x1 “Let the Games Begin” even aired.  The season opener promo wasn’t released until a few days before the episode aired when in the past, those promos were released at least one month prior the same way it was done for 6B.  Also, the 6x1 promo was attached to another FOX show that wasn’t even in the same franchise (The Cleaning Lady) and the 9-1-1 portion of it included scenes from 6x4 (Buck on the bicycle) which wasn’t set to air for another four weeks.  The “Blackout” trailer for Season 5 was released at least one month prior to when 5x1 “Panic” was set to air and it played continuously on FOX (at least it did in my region) until the premiere.  Therefore, the lack of trailers for the entirety of the season made absolutely no sense.

It appears there may have been more last minute reshoots, episode name changes and other reasons for the delays that caused edits to be processed down to the wire.  So, the lack of trailers, teasers and episode promos shouldn’t have been a surprise after season 5 but it was because it costs between 9 million - 10 million to produce a single episode.  Since it seems like 9-1-1 wasn’t bothered enough to promote their own show, they shouldn’t have been surprised when the GA didn’t tune in.  Several social media comments about the start of season 6 included viewers stating they missed the premiere because they didn’t know the show had returned.

Promos for upcoming episodes that should have aired at the end of 6x16 and 6x17 weren’t included and the promo for 6x18 wasn’t even released until the Saturday before the episode aired.  It was only 10 seconds in duration and it included at least 4 seconds of LD (a former recurring character from season 5 who hadn’t been seen since 6x1) even though each member of the firefam got less than 0.5 milliseconds of airtime in it.  Six sneak peek scenes were released for 6x18 but it probably would have been much better if they didn’t release a promo at all, especially since it wasn’t long enough to understand what was going to happen.

Unpopular opinion - IMO, FOX took the blame for the lack of promos during the latter part of 6B when the blame should have been placed solely on 9-1-1.  Since the show is responsible for getting promos and trailers to the network, wasn’t it 9-1-1′s responsibility to provide FOX with stills, teasers, trailers, etc.?  If that’s the case, then FOX couldn’t adequately promote 9-1-1 because it seems like 9-1-1 didn’t give them anything to promote.  This wasn’t an issue for 9-1-1 LS because they started promoting their 4th season in October 2022 even though the first episode wasn’t set to air until January 2023.  Reminder, 9-1-1 OG was on FOX for 6 years and in the past, FOX had no problems promoting the season 3 Tsunami, the season 5 Blackout and others so it’s kind of unfair for them to take the blame for the lack of promos when the show dropped the whole trailer/teaser/promo ball all on its own.

Incorrect synopses There was an abundance of incorrect synopses included in season 6 and if the goal was to hide/deflect/deter the audience from potential spoilers then maybe it would have been a good idea to make sure the final edit of the episode was done before any synopses were released.  It seems like the lack of planning caused a lot of these errors especially when reshoots for certain scenes had to be completed (the scene of Marisol crying while standing over her brother in the ambulance in 6x5 was actually a reshoot.  Imagine that👀👀... they reshot the scene and it still looked like she was in love with her brother.  Therefore, that was a WASTE OF MONEY/BUDGETING DOLLARS).  The synopsis for 6x1 stated Maddie and Chimney would go to couples’ therapy but either it didn’t happen or it was cut from the episode.  The 6x5 “Home Invasion” synopsis stated Hen would talk to her professor when she did that in 6x4 “Animal Instincts”.  Guests and recurring characters listed for 6x17 and 6x18 was an inconsistent mess and it’s unclear if they did it that way to hide the fact that AK and MW were returning in 6x17.  But viewers who saw the BTS pics that were released in March, already knew AK would be in the finale and it was speculated that MW would be too after she was spotted at FOX studios.  Does anyone proofread these things because the synopses that included Buck and ND kept changing like they were trying to decide how to handle their nonexistent relationship only to shove Buck into one with her at the end of 6x18. SMH!

Stills Stills are a huge part of promos because they can be used on an array of social media platforms when compared to videos and GIFs; therefore the lack of them for the majority of season 6 was unacceptable.  A lot of the stills that were released came from the main cast (thanks to OS and AH) and the ones from the show were always released when it was close to the episode’s air date instead of at least one week in advance.

Social Media By the end of 6A, the official Tumblr 9-1-1 account hadn’t posted anything about OG since the BT breakup at the end of season 5, so I unfollowed it.  People who use Twitter and Instagram probably got more interactions from the dedicated FOX accounts than other platforms but hopefully when the show is on ABC, things will be better and the Tumblr 911 on ABC will get the attention it deserves.

Sneak Peeks 9-1-1 should STOP releasing five and six scenes from an episode the weekend before or on the day the episode airs because it’s a lazy way to promote it and they ruin the viewing experience.  The duration of each episode is between 42 to 45 minutes so if 5 scenes that are each one-minute long are released, the audience has the chance to see at least 11% to 12% of the episode before it airs. That spoils a lot of the excitement and it’s been happening since season 5.  Sneak Peeks should NOT be used to replace promo videos and teaser trailers.

Pre and post-mortem interviews Interviews have become an antiquated way of promoting TV shows because most of the GA DOESN’T READ THEM.  Also, some people don’t even know they exist but the main problem with 9-1-1′s post-mortems is information that should have been included in CANON WAS NOT but it was mentioned in interviews like the audience should have been able to anticipate what the showrunner wanted them to know (i.e., Chim and Buck making up off screen in season 5 and Chris being told about Eddie’s will)!  The showrunner(s) released all kinds of important information in them but if they didn’t read the post-mortem, viewers didn’t have any ideas about the things that supposedly happened.  For example, KR mentioned, right before the midseason hiatus, that Ravi was away at the academy but the GA had been asking about the character since the beginning of season 6.  Therefore, if the majority of the GA doesn’t read interviews, how were they supposed to know that?  Also, she always mentioned things happened off-screen during her interviews when clearly those things were important enough that they should have happened on-screen.  Since most viewers don’t read post-mortems, they had to do mental gymnastics during and after episodes to figure out what happened to the characters.

Another issue with 9-1-1′s post-mortems is lately there’s only been one main cast member doing the majority of them and that’s just not fair.  Viewers have their favorite characters and contrary to popular belief, BUCK IS NOT EVERYONE’S FAVORITE.  My favorite character is Eddie Diaz, so I would like to read some interviews with RG instead of OS.  If RG was allowed to do some interviews then maybe I’d read the articles instead of just scrolling to the comment sections.

Please note, I do not have a problem with OS because he’s a gifted actor and he knows and plays the character of Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley very well but he’s done like 90% of the post-mortem interviews for season 6 while the rest of the main cast has barely done one or NONE (RG) over the past two seasons.  It’s an ensemble cast so it would be fair if EVERYONE is given the chance to do at least one interview.  If they don’t want them to do one then maybe the showrunner(s) should do all the interviews instead of them spotlighting only one cast member. 

To make things fair, every main cast member (there are 9 of them) should be allowed to do a minimum of two post-mortem interviews per season or if that’s not an option, none of the main cast should do them.  That way audience members would have the opportunity to read interviews from some of their favorites too.  The comments on other social media platforms and post-mortem interviews for season 6 proves that viewers would much rather read interviews from someone other than OS in season 7. 

The viewers who like AB want to read interviews conducted with her while others would like to hear from AH, PK or KC.  IIRC, JLH hasn’t done an interview since season 5 after 5x12 “Boston” also both GM and CM haven’t done one since last season either.  AH did an interview after 6x6 and PK completed one before 6x7 but the information he mentioned was either incorrect or the character’s job was changed from her being a ‘famous singer’ to a ‘movie star’.  KC did one a few weeks ago after the proposal arc and it appears to have been a HUGE success since he was finally allowed to do an interview.  When is RG going to be let out of interview jail?  He did interviews in previous seasons, so what’s the problem with allowing him to do interviews?

Hopefully the transition to ABC will be better but if they have to wait for promotional materials the same way FOX did, it’s unlikely things will be any better than they were during season 6.  9-1-1 needs to work on their time management and organizational skills during the hiatus to be better for season 7 so they’ll be able to release promos, stills, etc. on time.

These are my criticisms regarding promos, trailers, stills, interviews, etc. and “Constructive Criticisms” #2 will be posted soon.

#911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 abc #911 on abc #911 meta #911 season 6 speculation #911 season 7 #911 season 6 #911 s6 #911 #118 firefam #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 speaks #9-1-1 Season 6 - CANON Constructive Criticisms

[faithfromanewperspective]

sugar coated brain (the fluid ain’t to blame): unraveling Conor Aurelian

I don’t know if this is me admitting to have read embarrassingly little in terms of Actual Books since I turned 18 but. Wow. I loved sword catcher, and for once I was there eating up the plot rather than only relating to the characters so much I was obsessively hoping for a happy ending for them. 

I’ve said before that sword catcher was good, so good it’s almost above fandom discourse (like a Beethoven symphony perhaps, you think twice before making arrangements of a masterpiece like that) but even the best symphonies deserve, actually they’re honoured by, critical analysis of the phrasing and melodies and that which are used. And this is a Cassandra Clare book after all. The beauty comes from beautifully (read: realistic, somehow more human than real humans idk I’m blown away every time) constructed characters, and then from the plot. Which was character-driven and so, so delicious, but we’re not talking those kind of spoilers this early in the game. 

While I’ll admit that Kel was the most relatable character, followed by Lin or maybe Ana, there were some things about Conor that just cut a little too close in ways I hadn’t thought about in years. Taking me back to some worldbuilding of my childhood, a ‘reluctant princess’ I came up with based on feeling trapped and overprotected and that fantasy world has long since been archived in my head and it’s entertaining to think this weird kid in western sydney who didn’t get to run quite as wild as some of the other kids (but still did get to run quite wild) felt like that when we were the furthest thing from royalty. I didn’t expect to be reminded of that in an adult fantasy book, but here we are, and I’m being entertained to see all the different takes on Conor: some driven to fascination, some to annoyance, and somehow in the 5 of us who’ve actually read sword catcher already everything in between. 

But let’s be real for a second: who hasn’t heard the ‘oh you can’t be depressed you have everything you need’ and been like. Really hurt by it?? Who hasn’t sat among know it all adults in their younger years who would just judge the hell out of other young people who supposedly ‘never got to hear no’ and now they have ‘no resilience’ and ‘no wonder they’re having problems’? Referring to people you actually relate to and thought, well this definitely isn’t a safe space to be vulnerable I’ll just suffer in silence? I’ve grown up enough now to see Lin’s trauma behind the way she says this about Conor but part of me is still a little mad at her. As for Conor?? He’s everything I’d expect from someone in his position and I actually don’t think the majority of it comes from ‘never hearing no’ and ‘getting everything he wants’ but rather the things that those try to make up for: a lack of real autonomy over his life, not being allowed to feel Normal Child Feelings, having no one he can relate to and see as an equal, a heavy burden of responsibility before he was ever old enough to understand it, and the many levels of fuckery that’s all done to his parents making them not just emotionally unavailable but frivolous, trying to maintain their own autonomy and connection doing silly little rich people hobbies that just make the divide between and resentment of them vs Every Other Person greater (constant stargazing or Decoration and Control). Sugar-coated brains: how could they not be when everything revolves around you but there’s so little you can actually do but pursue the pleasure you’re told you’re entitled to? 

I didn’t expect to be this mad at the royal family culture within SC but when I look back on it I’m not surprised. Not when the setting of the book is on the edge of a revolution, the unraveling of a society that feels so much like today and allows me to zoom out in a way that makes my little revolutionist heart happy. But oh, the angst and the bad decisions as the world teeters on that razorblade. The lives that are lost in the fray. I don’t know what’s happening in our world now but after Cast Long Shadows and an arc I know that she’s proud of (our dear Matthew Fairchild) I do trust Cassie. And in the meantime I’ll let her convince me of what I already know: the lives of nobility are simply pawns in a much bigger game no one (except maybe Ana) knows how to take the reins of, and the life of a pawn, no matter the luxuries, is a sorry life indeed. 

This little revolutionist brain of the 2000s had one thing right, and I feel vindicated to see it in such clarity here: the relationship between social class and genuine connection. From the stark contrast of the opening with Cas and Kel, even also Mari and Lin, against the disaster that is the royal family, it couldn’t be clearer to me: when you’re nobody, when there are no expectations of you, you can be who you really are. Maybe not in the eyes of the authorities, and that’s an important distinction to make, but there’s no need to pretend around your nearest and dearest and sometimes that’s worth so much more than hypothetical safety. Because yes you can get away with things when you’re rich but you’ve also got more people trying to assassinate you for who you are specifically rather than just running the risk of getting killed because you’re unlucky and too unimportant for anyone to think you’d be missed. When you’re royalty (or just have parents with really high expectations or are a gifted kid even) you’re given a mold to grow into and no one really asks if that’s who you really are: why would they, when their worldview depends on you being exactly who they want you to be? So if you’re not it you pretend and even with those, like your children, who are close enough to see behind the ruse, you never quite show them who you really are either. You can see how that would drive one insane. You showcase that the only way to exist is to mask until you snap, or lose the ability to be yourself at all. Which leads me to the second type of sugar coat. 

(And I’m quoting songs as my inspo behind this post as always, title quote is empty wallets by 5sos and I’m about to move onto sugar coat by little big town aka the band with an irl fairchild in it): this sugar coat is politeness and etiquette. There’s a quote somewhere in Kel’s narration I believe that I can’t find but basically views social etiquette and the like as you know. War strategy or something, which is another little segment of the reminder it’s cassie writing this and there’s a lot of accidental neurodivergence, or neurodivergence existing in a world so very different to ours, because that’s a very neurodivergent way of viewing it imo. And in this case, the sugar coat is like a constructed mask you spend your whole life trying to perfect, wear it as it’s handed down from your predecessors: in Conor’s case, lilibet (passed down from my mum, she wears it so well, put it on my shoulders said it’s colder out there than you think/would I recognise myself, would anybody else, if I took the damn thing off and burned it up?) who does make the frivolity and politics of being queen into her whole personality. She’s equally a pitiable and annoying character for that. 

But as for Conor? He’s a Cassandra Clare Created (TM) young man. Of course he can’t quite manage this kind of sugar coat business. The politeness, the etiquette, the little social dances: he longs for real connection (and now we’re back in empty wallets territory, get you high when I’m high, so we see eye to eye: to me this sums out how he makes connections with those who are nowhere near his equals but he wants to have some sort of equal footed connection with: Kel and *[redacted minor spoiler, see below cut]). He’s snapping from the pressure of it, and that’s exactly the kind of driving force for the narrative Cassie uses excellently. We see him coming undone, and hate it (or at least I do) but hope maybe, maybe it’s the path for liberation for him from the life that’s obviously making him (more) depressed (than he otherwise might be), and as the audience we don’t care if the kingdom burns down for this, as long as it doesn’t cause too much collateral damage. And we know it’s going to be a wild ride to get there. 

I don’t reckon this is obvious to everyone else but it is to me, with my experience of Christianity and life and just everything that if you’re a leader in any way, you’re a better leader for being liberated in yourself, having autonomy and appropriate boundaries and Conor has none of that and he’s coming undone and yes there’s a lot of other characters (who I will post about later) with their own arcs and A LOT going on (seriously it’s so deliciously complex and so much more so than tsc ever was with maybe the exception of tec which is kind of adult fantasy anyway). But oh. She really knows how to deliver, all through the first book and I can’t wait to see what the next one has to offer!! And to me the characterisation of Conor is just proof on how expertly the whole world of Castellane and it’s stories is being carried out. 

BIG GAP CAUSE CUT ISNT WORKING

*and Lin later on, kind of

tagging: @daisymylove and feel free to mention anyone who might like it in comments/reblogs!

#sword catcher #cassandra clare #conor aurelian #I TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE IT UNSPOILERY #and genuinely don’t think it is?!? #not spoilery #I checked again #sword catcher deep dives #<-is that a new tag I see?

[chenfordspiral]

Am I jumping on the train of offering thoughts no one asked for for the first time even though I promised myself I never would? Apparently so. Do I hate myself for it? Little bit. But here we go anyway. 

Maybe they never had Angela tease Tim about dating Lucy (yet) because some time after 5x02, she realized that it was much more serious than she initially thought? Like, maybe she teased him thinking he had a little crush, not actual soul-crushing feelings that caught him so off guard he didn’t quite know how to handle himself at first. Would I have loved to see her reaction? Sure. But I get that we won’t see every moment. We never got Angela or Nyla telling everyone that they were engaged, or that they were pregnant with Jack and Leah. Will it happen this time around? Probably not. Why? Who knows. Maybe because we, the audience, already know, anyway. And that’s fine. Gives us all different head-canons about what might’ve happened, in all these cases. And I kinda love that. 

We all build up SO much in our heads and expect so much, especially about Chenford and their relationship, so that when we get something different or less than that, we’re immediately disappointed. Which is fine, we all have our hopes and wishes. But the show’s not only about Chenford. We didn’t get to see a lot of Angela and Wesley’s moments early on, either. They were suddenly living together in 2x01 and then we got more. Yes, I realize Chenford is different, because it’s been built over five seasons. But super romantic and cute (read cheesy, if you want) has never been the show’s MO, so why go there now? We might’ve seen more for Nolan and Bailey, but he’s the main character. 

Tim and Lucy have known each other for years at this point and built a solid foundation, they don’t have to get to know each other like the other couples, so falling into an easy rhythm in their romantic relationship after some initial awkwardness is super in character. We don’t need to see all those early moments. There’s still seven episodes left to watch. Plenty of time to throw in some Chenford goodies. We can still get a morning after/cuddling in bed scene, we just didn’t get one for after their first time. Giving us too much too soon would be too fast. And not every meaningful moment happens in the first two months of a new relationship.

Please don’t immediately jump to ‘this is bad writing’ if it doesn’t exactly match what you expected or wanted. They’re all putting in their best work and just because some moments we wished for didn’t happen doesn’t make it bad. We’re not gonna get a parallel to every significant moment from earlier seasons. Take the DOD tattoo, for example. That was talked about in one episode, the one immediately following DOD itself. It’s never been talked about again. I’m not surprised we didn’t get a moment of Tim finding out if Lucy kept it or not. Is it okay to be disappointed about that? Of course. But that doesn’t mean the writers are dropping the ball on Chenford. It just means they pick what they want to show and when they wanna show it and we gotta accept it. We’d all be pissed as hell if they never got together at all or it was dragged out until it was too late. They’re together, we’ve already gotten more than we could’ve wished for this season. A Chenford-light episode or two does not equal dropping the ball or forgetting that they’re a couple. They need to be their own person still with storylines separate from one another. They don’t need to be attached at the hip 24/7. 5x14 for example wasn’t about them as a couple. It was about Tim getting started with a new job and Lucy being a good roomie/sister/bestie/mom to Tamara, with a bit of Chenford sprinkled on top. 

Not liking an episode is perfectly fine. Give me all the constructive criticism. But not liking it solely because it was very light on or void of Tim&Lucy and Chenford moments? That I don’t totally understand. Yes, a lot of us watch primarily because of them. But then we need to be prepared for and accept those kind of episodes. 

Am I saying ‘don’t be disappointed’? No, of course not. I’m simply saying that we need to remember that there was never a world in which everyone got exactly what they wanted to see. Not because it’s an ensemble show with nine main cast members, but because it would be way too much to show everything for two characters that are arguably the most loved but not the official leading characters in a 42-minute episode of a cop show. We don’t know what the rest of the season brings, but everyone on that show knows how beloved Chenford are. They will always have their moments, just not in every episode. Because it’s not a show about just them. If we want more seasons, we need to accept all of that.

Clearly I’ve been feeling it lately. Guess I’m just saddened that so much negativity’s been going around about something that brings me so much joy and I love so dearly. Something that so many seem to love so much, yet some are quick to kind of hate on the moment we don’t see Tim&Lucy in a scene together for an episode. Let them take a breather. Hell, let US take a breather once in a while. 5x16 is already looking to be a good one for the two of them. We’ll be fine. 

And one last note. Trust in Eric. If he says there’s good stuff coming, there’s good stuff coming. Not just in general but for Chenford. We all know he’s the biggest shipper of us all. And he has never let us down. 

#chenford #the rookie #this turned out longer than i expected #oops #feel free to come at me if you disagree #am I dreading posting this? yap. but I will hate myself if I don't because it's been bothering me for weeks at this point

[saintdark]

xxGermanBodyShopxx

I have never written a fanfic before! Please be nice, constructive criticism and being rude are two very different things. This is VERY 18+. This chapter has nothing NSFW but several trigger warnings: Abuse, kidnapping, manipulation, age gap, reader is like 18-19 and Strade is like 30 somethin. Everyone is a little OOC, and gender!neutral reader! Also, not very long- still trying to convince myself to actually get out there.

xxGermanBodyShopxx: Hey, just checking in on you kiddo. Need to chat?

xxANONxx: Thanks Strade. Things at home feel like they’re kinda just getting worse but its okay. I don’t want to bother you with it.

xxGermanBodyShopxx: It sounds like it hasn’t gotten better in a while. You’re an adult, why don’t you just leave?

xxANONxx: I wouldn’t have anywhere to go, and my sisters... I can’t abandon them.

xxGermanBodyShopxx: He doesn’t target them, just you. You have me. You can live with me, you know that.

xxANONxx: I’m 3 hours out of your way, I couldn’t.

xxGermanBodyShopxx: Silly Hase. Of course, I’ll get you! You said theres a 711 nearby, correct?

xxANONxx:  ..Yeah. Let’s do it.

We met online almost a year ago to this date, the abuse from home began picking up more and more as I turned 18. Online was truly my only escape, no work because no car. No car because no work. It’s such an unfair cycle, how is someone supposed to tooth and claw their way up in this world? That’s when I met Strade, meeting on a 18+ chat. It was sexual, scary stuff some would call it: discussing rape or cnc, blood play, knife play, rope, etc. It grew into genuine fondness and good conversation of unlike things, and most nights we would call or facetime of some sort. I felt so much less alone.

Those calls meant everything to me, he was very charming and outgoing, and I genuinely could never describe myself that way. He took the lead in every aspect, decisive and sure. He was stable and consistent. All I have ever wanted in a person, in life.

3AM at the Gas Station

 The anxiety in my body was slowly but surely turning into some severe nausea, and shakiness. The gas station was practically empty aside from one older man and the young attendant who looked high out of his mind. “You’re a cutie! Whatcha doin’ in such a shady place pretty lady?” The older man shouts from around the small bend towards me. I freeze, I was too in my own noggin to even consider that someone might question why I was probably looking suspicious. “Oh-I uhm.” The front doorbell jingles and walks in Strade. It was surreal seeing him in person, and honestly, surprised he came. “Ah, sorry to keep you waiting Liebe. Picked us up some food for the drive back home!” My body finally relaxed as I heard and saw the familiar German, fast paced walking towards him, only to be pulled into a tight embrace. “Let’s go home.”

It's a long drive home, but conversation is smooth and it’s like nothing was different. He was still sweet, talkative, if anything he was just more intense. I tried to ignore the missing door handle, he works on cars, right? Maybe something happened and he couldn’t fix it today? I didn’t want to think of why he wouldn’t have fixed it before I got in the car. “So, Hase. There are several ground rules to you living within my home.” He pauses, waiting for a response but only met with a nod.

In exchange for not working and me taking care of you, housework, cooking, cleaning, and some other projects will be for you to do.

You’re going to be presented to the neighborhood as my fiancé. Play. The. Part.

You’ll need to learn some medical basics. Stitches, bandaging, splints, etc. Don’t ask questions.

Behave, do what I say, and I wont do anything to hurt you outside the bedroom, ok?

Where the fuck did this come from?! “I-I What? I thought..” he chortles. “Yeah. I’m sure you did. You were born to be controlled, and you will live that way too. You never were good at making choices for yourself, little hase.” I feel the connection in my synapses click. I felt safe with him because it wasn’t something I didn’t already know. I loved him because he’d think when I didn’t want to. He listened to gather more information to control, not for love. “I’m actually being VERY kind. You wanted out. I got you out, no? You’ll see, youll live quite well compared to… the others I bring home.” His tone was ice. I believed him. Still thought he was a motherfucker for that though.

#btd strade #btd #strade #boyfriend to death #btd2 #strade x reader #authorhaslotsofanxiety #the price of flesh #cw: gore #cw:kidnapping #cw:abuse #cw: manipulation

[howtodrawyourdragon]

Enigma - Chapter 1 - Prologue

(Because that's how Ao3 works)

Summary: In a world where magic exists, it’s of the utmost importance to know how to control your abilities. Hiccup has been plagued by his own brand of magic for as long as he’s been alive. When his powers are accidentally outed in front of Astrid, she gets him into the same school of magic she’s going. He hopes to learn how to control his magic and find answers to the enigma that is him and his powers.

Warnings: /

Ratings: General

Words: 1 278

Characters: Hiccup

Pairings: /

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Author's Notes: I've had this prologue stashed away finished for a few months now. I've been wanting to post it, finally get this fic going, but I was always missing something. Now it feels just right.

I don't really have an official end in sight for this fic, just a bunch of story arcs, so I will be writing this fic by the arc.

And yes, you read that right. This fic is going to be a Vigcup/Hiccstrid. It started out as solely a Vigcup idea, but Hiccstrid just feels right for this idea, too.

The line that mentions that everything hurts is definitely a reference to 'Go To Sleep Little Baby', also a part of this AU. 👀

Constructive criticism is appreciated.

Enjoy!

It is always the same dream of a city. It is thriving and the people are happy, they go through life with a smile on their face and their lives fulfilled. Steel and glass don’t rule here, plenty of green overshadows their uncaring nature. It is a beautiful place, unreal place.

Every single time he returns, he stands in the middle, passed by on all sides by the smiling faceless masses. They’re never the star. Instead, the true stars are high up in the sky where they belong. They’re creatures big and small, some have two legs, some have four, some have talons, some have horns. But what they all have in common are wings and fire.

They are many and they are what makes him smile.

He extends a hand towards them, the numbers in the sky above grow. They begin circling as if one collective, a dark figure breaks away. It dives down, its shadow casts over him when it slows, large bat-like wings spread wide

Even so, he reaches for it and the bat-like shadow reaches back with a big, black head.

He has a connection with that creature. Just their eyes locking, green on green, causes something to swell inside of him. Something good, warm, fierce. It’s like he can feel his every inch tingling with power, his veins boiling, but in a rather good way.

The creature comes closer, the warmth turns into a heat, he’s so desperate to connect.

But that is where the dream ends. That's where it always ends. On that fantastical sight of the skies, his hand reaching, but never touching. Something reaching back, but never arriving.

A connection never forged.

-XOXOX-

When Hiccup rouses, it’s to the smell of something burning.

The scent is awful, burning his nostrils and shaking him from his sleep like a horrible alarm clock.

“No... No, no, no, no!” Panic immediately settles in when he rolls out of the fetal position he’d been lying in for warmth and faces the source. He should’ve known he was a little too comfortable, a little too warm. The bookshelf he happened to fall asleep against the night before is catching fire.

It always happens when he has that dream.

There are embers that spontaneously ignite, tiny trails of smoke, an orange-ish glow that wants to eat away at precious words. Grabbing his blanket he uses it to quickly extinguish the fire before it can start properly, before it actually destroys these books.

Before he destroys these books and burns down this library.

It wouldn’t be the first building he levels by accident.

“Come on, come on!” When the smoldering finally stops, he takes a look at the damage caused, fearing the worst.

Well, the old wooden shelf has certainly been signed, here’s a surface level of char and some of the books have been blackened. Nothing unsalvageable by a much more trained magic user, but all he can do is stare on in shame.

If only that dream would leave him alone. He would stop setting things on fire in his sleep if it did.

Or that’s what he certainly hopes. The morning he could add “spontaneous acts of arson in sleep” to his long list of issues was certainly one of the worst.

Hiccup coughs, lungs sadly not immune to smoke inhalation. And neither is he immune to feeling stiff and sore and cold after sleeping another night on the wooden floor of this library, the spot where he curled up also black. It doesn’t help that it’s been a chilly fall so far. He stretches his back, drowsiness returning as he takes a look around.

Attempting to get up from his knees, there’s a couple of pops and he feels like he’s 40 rather than the 18 year old he should be. Everything hurts. Everything always hurts.

Managing to get up, he spots a pile of books that he took off the shelves to, ironically, try and stay awake during the night. On account of his habit to set things on fire in his sleep. Among them were some sci-fi novels, one informative book concerning runes, one on the mythologies of the world he didn’t get to read in the previous library he squatted in, but he mostly read the sci-fi books he took. An adventure in space sounds so much more fun than possessing out of control magical abilities.

He’d come here with a specific book in mind- or rather, a specific genre of books- but found nothing helpful. He bends down with a groan and takes the pile to return the books to their proper shelves, though pretending that he can leave without leaving a trace of his presence behind is out the window now.

Giving the blackened shelf another look, he feels his gut growing cold in embarrassment. Why can’t he just make everything a little chilly in his sleep? Why does he have to commit arson? If he was more proficient in water and ice, perhaps he wouldn’t be so bothered by the cold either.

A shirt beneath a long-sleeved blouse underneath a flannel and all of that under a jacket and he’s still cold. Maybe it doesn’t help that it’s all old and worn either. His jeans are the newest thing he owns, because he outgrew his last pair. And a pair of jeans and a prosthetic leg simply don’t mix.

After returning the books, he uses the bathroom in the back, toiletries kept inside a plastic bag usually used to preserve all kinds of food in the freezer. He brushes his teeth, lets the hot water run over his hands in an attempt to feel just a tad bit warmer and soon after exits to collect his stuff. He gathers his plastic bag and blanket, stuffs them, a notebook, and his scraps from dinner in the backpack that’s just as worn out as his clothes are and then makes his leave.

Through the back door. Which is where he entered after closing time the night before.

Outside, the cold air greets him like a slap in the face and he immediately begins to shiver. Winter comes closer with every passing day and the wind just goes through his clothes as if they aren’t even there. Still, he bites through it. He knows he’s been taking a risk, squatting inside the same library for the past week, but he certainly won’t be able to return for another night. Not after practically setting fire to the shelf he’d curled up against.

Closing the door behind him, crouching in the barest light of dawn, he takes a look around to make sure this alley is as abandoned as it seems.

He closes his eyes and hovers his left hand over the lock. He knows there are words that could make this process easier, spells he can use, but they’ve never worked out for him.

Attempting to visualize the lock, feel the build of the mechanism, he imagines that he has the key. No wait, that he is the key and he can make those bolts and what-have-yous move. He concentrates, he just needs to convince it that they’re one and the same, his will is its as well.

There is that familiar tingling in his fingertips, that exhilarating sensation of his blood boiling, he can feel his heart beating beneath his sternum.

To his satisfaction- and relief- he hears that click he’s looking for. The back door is locked again.

Making sure one more time that he’s still alone, he stands and leaves to brave another cold day alone. Alone and with none of the answers he was hoping to find here.

#httyd fics #httyd movies #rtte #race to the edge #au #alternate universe #modern au #magic au #modern with magic au #hiccup haddock #my fanfics #enigma