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pearlplusau · 3 years

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Pearlplusau Chapter 7 part 2 - Familiar?

now available below:

Another option -> heres a link to part 2 posted in AO3!

Since the kindergarten was in constant darkness, Amethyst has never seen anything so… bright before. The brightest shade of light she’s ever experienced other than the warppad was that one open area where the dark, gloomy clouds would be drifted away from that are. It was the only ray of sunshine she has ever experienced. She had touched the little, but weak sunray, and felt warmth all around her hand. It was so different than the usual cold air of the kindergarten, but in a good way. But now, she’s travelling in a warp pad with the beautiful giant lady beside her. The light of the warp pad may be as bright as the little ray of sunshine, but it didn’t give out the warmth she experienced. As for the travelling, she never though she would be leaving the place she called home, what’s worse, there was this small little cloud of regret hanging around her, telling her leaving was a very bad idea. But the pink lady looked so sure, so kind and confident of what she’s doing, taking this new gem away from her home? That’s not how she thinks, that’s honestly how amethyst felt, being taken away from her own home, and be willing to do so just because this lady said so! The pink lady announced to her one audience, “We’re almost there! Oh you’re gonna love it!” Amethyst involuntarily felt a surge of excitement, but she wasn’t actually excited, she should be more nervous than the feeling she’s having now… When they finally landed in the new location, it was apparently early morning as the sun was rising into the sky. They appeared to be in a cave, surrounded by water, brief stairs up and down, neatly placed tiles and a huge door behind her. Rose held out her hand to the new gem, “Come, let me show you around first.” And led Amethyst down the several stairs, slowly and carefully making their way out of the cave and into the white grains and sand. The texture felt weird to amethyst as she was used to the solid hard dirt and rocks scattered around. But here, there was not a lot of rocks, just a bunch of white, tiny looking pebbles and water splashing onto the shore. It was the first time Amethyst left the kindergarten, and she’s already feeling rather uneasy with all these… new experiences. The duo circled around the pre-beach city land, where dozens of flowers and plants bloomed in the midst. Rose ran ahead, beckoning the purple gem to come along. She twirled around within the beautiful flowers, throwing her arms all around, showing how much she loves the planet and its beauty. “These here are called Flowers, they are all their own individuals, but ultimately, it takes more than one flower to bloom into a huge patch like this!” Amethyst walked up to a flower and noticed how its…glowing with health? Her fascination on the unusually strong and glowing little plant life caught Rose’s attention. The big gem slyly admitted, “I may have…used some of my abilities to grow a few missing patches here and there-” she said as she turned in embarrassment, awkwardly stroking her tuffs of hair. “Plants like these may not live long, as from our observation, they only live at most for one season, but they are all so very much worth it!” When she turned back, she noticed Amethyst laying within the flowers, as if she found herself a flowerbed to lie down after all this time. She was moving her arms and legs as if shes making a snow angle from the flower patch- Rose found that to be a very fun idea indeed and joined the small gem as they basked in the giant flower patches, each making a “flower angle” to commemorate the first every joy they had together. SWISH SWISH SWISH HEHEHE The duo had their fun for a while, playing in the patches, showering each other with flower petals, and playing hide and seek. Tho, Rose was a lot easier to find with her big fluffy hair and figure, while amethyst was just the right size to become invisible and be one within the flower patches. After a few losses for Rose, she suggested they move on to something else. She gave out her hand to the little gem, who was covered in flower petals, and gently pulled her out of the patches.

“Come on, there’s something else I would like to show you.” She led Amethyst into a beautiful forest, dotted with freshly grown oaks and little saplings covered in dirt. Leaves were fluttering around the atmosphere while also gliding around the rays of sunlight that shone through the little gaps and fissures. The two gems stopped at a flowing river, where the fresh, clear water streamed Living creatures, mostly animals like butterflies, lions, but also the mentions of humans “They kinda look like us, except they don’t live longer than a century and theyre very, very fragile. Us gems are very different from humans, so if you ever meet one, you have to be extremely careful not to hurt them, even if you don’t mean to. Amethyst tried to get close, but Rose stopped her before she took another step closer. The small gem turned her head back to see Rose carrying a worried expression, “Maybe we should start with observing them before we interact with them, they’ve never seen you before, so maybe we should start slow, alright?” Before Amethyst could say anything, the human at the distance got up and disappeared into the forest. The small gem sighed; she was so excited to meet other new people! Rose reassured she’ll be able to meet them soon enough. “We’ll get to know them sometime in the future, come on, let’s head back to the temple and I’ll introduce you to the gems!! The two gems held hands and started strolling back to the temple. There’s no awkward chemistry between the two, as they projected a simple mother daughter relationship, or even a sibling relationship, where one of them energetically leaped around the larger figure, while the figure in the middle giggled at the little ball of energy circling her and constantly made her laugh with great joy and longed snickers! They reached the temple. Rose asked Amethyst to stay behind so she can surprise them. Just then, Garnet, Pearl and Coral warped back from their mission Pearl reporting what happened as Coral and Garnet added on their own little details “Oh Rose, you should’ve seen Garnet’s new gauntlet rockets and Coral’s amazing strike on that gem, with those two final blows, the gem monster was poofed in an instant! Coral chimed in, “Well, we would’ve been able to throw in the final blow without your brilliant, strategic idea! Your plan made all the difference!” Pearl blushed at the complement, “Why thank you Coral!” While the two pearls were getting along well, the fusion stood behind and gleamed at the stronger friendship between the two pearls, looking very proud of both of them. And judging from the grin, it was pretty clear to Rose that, the mission somehow got the three of them closer together. As Rose slowly shuffled around, being suspiciously quiet, the gems noticed a little figure hiding behind her white dress. Pearl was the first to spoke.

P: uh, Rose…what do you have there? The small gem hid behind Rose while a smoothy suddenly appeared on her hand. R: A smoothy

Coral, who kept her eyes on the new gem, asked, “What’s a smoothy?” Before Rose could answer the definition of the contraption in hand, Garnet interrupted by stating, “The smoothy is not something we should be concerned about right now…” while eyeing on the new, yet unexpected little gem. “Garnet’s right.” Pearl agreed, “Rose, please tell me you didn’t bought that…thing with you?” Amethyst decided to hide behind Rose completely after hearing that statement. Rose slowly turned and calmed her down before she said more. “Pearl, you should think before you say, otherwise someone might get their feelings hurt you know?” Rose suggested while holding on to the small, frightened gem. Pearl was a quick thinker, and it seemed that Rose took a liking to the little gem, which was rather typical of the leader. She’s a kind gem that wouldn’t take no for an answer after spending a certain amount of time with the object, Pearl of all gems should know better than to refuse whatever Rose brought in. Coral and Garnet turned to Pearl, who sighed in desperation, “Rose, may we know where and how did you find…her?” The big gem slowly, and abruptly responded, “I…uh, was taking a stroll in the kindergarten until I noticed her hiding in one of the holes! Yeap! That’s how it happened! Totally not moping around the places we hurt and trying to bring justice by destroying those that caused it! Haha…ha…” Rose, looking embarrassed, tried very hard not to do or say anything more. The three gems were trying their best to interpret her words as positive statements, but from their time together, they pretty much got the idea of how things went down exactly. Coral stood a step forward, “Rose, are you sure about this? She’s not like the other Amethyst gems we know. I mean, compared to the other quartz friends we had, she’s small, she can barely speak, and probably doesn’t know anything about being a gem!” Rose took that information and digested it for a short while before she came up with ideas to counter those issues. “She can learn! While I was talking to her, I noticed she repeat whatever I said, just in a different way to convey another message! As for not knowing what being a gem is about, that’s okay too! We can teach her without having her go through any of those Homeworld stuff, wouldn’t that be great!?” Rose was gleaming at the idea of a gem with no prior knowledge to how gems are “supposed” to be and allowing themselves to be whatever they want to be! Amethyst came out just a little bit from her hiding and repeated the last word she heard, “Great!” before scuttling back. Coral still doesn’t look convinced as she turned to the fusion, “Garnet, what do you think?” “Hmmmm…” Garnet made a look that could only mean one thing, she’s trying to see the little gem’s future. Future vision can be tricky, but it’s good to see what could potentially happen when we add in another factor into the equation. Her shades shone as the possibilities were carefully drafted and narrowed down to the most likely events. “In the futures where we accept her, I see her adapting to our lifestyle, but nothing much on how it’s going to end. There’s a possibility of her being a great asset to us, but there’s also the possibility of her being a greater liability than we could ever imagine.” “I like those odds!” Rose gleamed at the wide range of unpredictability. Coral didn’t want to rain on Rose’s parade or be a wet blanket seeing her being so happy. But she’s also not completely on board with this…new gem appearing out of nowhere. Pearl was the first to speak, “It’s always been just the four of us, I don’t know about having that unproperly developed gem into the team. It’s rather suspicious that she suddenly shows up at the kindergarten when that place has been shut down centuries ago! She might be a spy from homeworld for all we know! Or worse!” Coral gasped in horror and whispered, “Ohno…There’s something worse than spies!?” “Coral please,” Garnet reminded, “focus.” It was up to that point where Rose finally realized why the gems were not on board with the idea of adding a

new member. Homeworld was still a threat, they’re never safe if they keep including new people they don’t know. It’s only been some time since the blinding light turned all the gems on Earth into corrupted monsters. A lot of them were still out there, alone, confused, and most importantly, scared. Those gems were once powerful individuals that were indestructible, but now, they’re terrified gem monsters running around, fleeing from who knows what, not knowing what to do in their current state. But this Amethyst, the sweet, innocent, and lonely gem, won’t be facing that kind of terror any longer when she has us. Rose took one more look at Amethyst, who was trying her best to be unnoticed by the other gems, and was determined to take her in. “Now Crystal gems, don’t you see this is our only chance to have a gem untainted with the rules of Homeworld?” Rose started her topic with the recollection of the crystal gem origin. “Wasn’t that what we were fighting for? To be free of Homeworld’s rules and to live without a care? To preserve the life on Earth instead of taking it, and leaving nothing behind?” Rose continued, “The earth, the rebellion-” “Its more than just that! It’s also for love! The love for ourselves, and the love we have for each other! We never get to show our love anywhere except here! And right now, we have Amethyst who has been living in an abandoned kindergarten, and has probably never been loved through her entire existence! If we neglect her, we’re going against everything we’ve worked so hard for. Besides, she’s a newcomer who had never experienced the horrible tragedy of Homeworld. I mean, isn’t this a good thing we found her right before any homeworld gems did?” She didn’t wait for a response and proceeded, “We can teach her everything about the earth and the crystal gems. Coral! You can teach her what being a Crystal Gem is all about! Pearl! You could teach her about speech and physical formation! Garnet! You could teach her about our current missions or even gem fusion! I know she’s different from us, but she can handle this! With us keeping her safe, she won’t have to face any of those linear rules like staying within your duty, or being cast away as off colours when you don’t fit in with the others?” “She can be a free gem right from the start, without facing the trauma we had. What do you say?” Rose’s words were being very persuasive and all, but none of the gems seemed to budge towards the ideas from their dear leader. “Rose, please, still this is a risk to take. Risks that could potentially have an impact on our freedom and the earth!” Garnet spoke with a hint of fear, perhaps took a glance towards the possibilities of the future. Pearl and Coral, each holding an arm, both stayed silent, but ultimately agreed with the fusion. “Come on you guys, give her a chance, if you get to actually talk to her it might change your minds!” Rose turned around, but failed to see the small gem that was hiding behind her mere seconds ago. “Uh…Amethyst?” Rose called out, but heard no response, nor saw the small figure behind her anywhere. But all she saw were footprints leading back to the temple, and noticed the warp pad was just activated. Amethyst went back home.

(A/N: Heyyyy so this is the second part of the newest chapter. As you may have known, i was pretty busy with the end of the University studies and internship, so i kinda had my hands full to do anything like writing for fun!

Now, this is the end of part 2, where i tried to keep things a bit more interesting, but not too complicated that it would go on for more than 3 parts.

And again, sorry for the lack of visuals. Some of you might prefer reading with the images, and unfortunately, i currently do not have the motivation to be drawing, even if most of them would be tracing from screenshots of the show itself.

When the chapter gets done, i might be doing some of the screenshot edits and reblog them under the written chapters. So theres that to look forward to.

Anyways, thanks for reading and liking this story i wrote. It's not as glamorous and interesting as the previous chapters, but it's still something i consider worth venturing into.

Thanks again and see ya next time! Bye!)

#stevenuniverse #amethyst #rosequartz #amethystorigin #pearlplusau

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uchihashisuii · 3 years

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god wait im tryna fall asleep and still thinking about v and vik and to shoot off that last ask where they said their v being with an older guy makes sense like god yeah it does. the parallel of v and vik is so good its a crime it isnt explored in the actual game. because v, regardless of her life path would also constantly be moving forward all her life and then once she hits night city its a constant gogogo. get a job, do it and do it well, on to the next. no slowing down unless its to sleep and we know she doesnt get a lot of that, and then w the relic and trying to fix it its more moving and fighting and sneaking and johnny talking in her ear, head splitting bc of him and what have you. and then she gets together with vik and she finally has a few moments of peace. and she knows she should get going, knows she cant spend the night but she does it anyway bc vik is sweet and solid and comforting, grounding just like his voice. and he takes care of her, and she hasnt had anyone do that in a long time, and she gets to feel loved and like she matters, like really truly matters in this city thats out to kill her for this small little bubble of time and we know that vik would make her understand that when shes with him she is the only thing that matters. and like, not to say v hasnt been in any prior relationships or anything bc theres no text canon wise (that i know of?) and then personal headcanons exist but like. v is supposed to be young right? like early twenties so whether shes had long term relationships or not you know that hers w viktor would hit different bc hes been around this block before, hes not here to play games. hes even said hes dropped all illusions, so hed know what he wants and be realistic with her, and would absolutely treat her right from the getgo. i feel like v would have a little 'oh' moment and that she gets it, that she think this might be worth leaving the living legend ideal behind (and then vik being an actual living legend and wanting ppl to forget it ties in here somewhere) anyway god their dynamic is just so good and sets up such a good romance of mutual comfort and Obtaining That Which Has Been Absent For So Long. god im just so emo for them 🥺

“WAIT also yeah end game vik convo but youre dating vik it would hit so much harder. like i dont think it would necessarily end the same but would largely be similar, at least at the start. him being angry and taking it out on v when its him and the situation hes upset about. and vik obviously knows the most about v and johnny outta everyone i mean he literally stitched her back together. but in all the romances you can kind of shrug the thing off and give vague answers about the relic, basically be like 'yeah ive got leads im following' or 'dont worry im working on it' because she doesnt want to worry them or get them caught up in this anymore than they are, but also keep some distance in case it really goes south. and v would do the same with vik, tell him shes working on it or that they dont have to worry about it right now, she just wants to spent time w him. and hed respect that at the time, but when the end game convo comes you know hed be upset also because he didnt push further, let her talk to him about it. he should have been helping in some way, i mean theyre dating. why didnt he say something sooner before it got this bad? and he cares for her so much and has for so long, and theyre reaching the end and they both know it. god the potential angst there is so good, vik wanting to pull away and be upset at her but he ultimately cant, and theres nothing he can do for her at this point but be there for her, but its right when she has to make a decision and not look back, so she cant really seek comfort in him other than that one moment (and potentially for the last time ever). god they wrote such a good character and such a good dynamic we were robbed!!!! how did they not plan this as a romance from the start!!! 😔”

dawg i dont even have a gd word to say this is every thot ive had abt vik and v summed up absolutely perfectly your MIND dude im just gonna leave this as is holy shit

#viktor vector #viktor vektor #victor vektor #victor vector #this is so well put im #cyberpunk 2077

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roguestarsailor · 4 years

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thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book 😀 😀 😀 😀

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???)

#amandathoughts #bookthoughts #acotar #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #book 2 #sarah j maas #acomaf thoughts #i said a lot because this book had so much content #acotr #amandabookthoughts #feyre #rhysand #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand

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musubiki · 5 years

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Can we have more details about why Lime and Mochi hated each other for the first 5 years and what were they like to one another during that time period? ^u^

YEAH!!!!! (ill put it under the cut)

➞

- mochi and lime first met when they were like. 5-ish, on the day when mochi and her mama (tiramisu) were moving/finished moving into their shop across the street, and limes family brought them over some welcome-to-the-district gifts

- so of course tiramisu and limes grandparents are chatting it up, mochi is kind of hiding behind her mom and lime is standing there holding kiwis hand and theyre just kinda looking at each other

- and this first meeting is the most hilarious moment of their whole relationship, because lime, an idiot boy, sticks his tongue out and does a “bleh!” at mochi

- mochi, an equally stupid kid, starts crying ghibli tears, and deadass just FLIPS HIM OFF!!!!🖕🖕🖕🖕

- AND HER MOM PUSHES HER HAND DOWN LIKE “MOCHI THATS NOT NICE!! Oh my god im so sorry idont know where she learned that haha-” (mochi learned it from her. shes secretly proud of her baby), and limes grandfather just kind of “oh no no its fine, he was being mean to her”

- and so they say goodnight and go back to their shops, but from that point lime just kinda picked on mochi a lot. (im thinking he had a crush on her first but didnt understand feelings that young so he just picks on her a lot????/ and then just kinda buries and internalizes those feelings for the rest of his life so it gets brushed under the rug????)

- so he would pull her hair, push her, call her names, steal her food, all this weird shit. but then he would also like sneakily like peer out of his window at night to see if she was there in her room (and slam the curtains closed when she looked over and pretended like he wasnt looking) and like spy on her when she was in the shop (and run away when kiwi asks what hes looking at)

- and of course, mochi, being the badass in training, wouldnt take his shit half the time, and im pretty sure she like punched him in the face once?? or body slammed him or something??? and her mom is like “MOCHI OH MY GOD NO!! THATS NOT GOOD!!! [internally] (i love you so much that’s my girl)”

- and then when school starts they have to go to school together with kiwi because mochis mom has to run the shop, the whole way there these two idiot kids are either fighting or lime is picking on mochi again (tiramisu tells mochi its because he likes her and shes like idont care!! hes mean!!!)(she will care later)

- and from when lime was about ??? 5-7 he was friends with oscar, but when they were 7 oscar moved away to the big city with his family, and so limes only ‘friend’ left was mochi

- im pretty sure lime has put a frog in her backpack before

- and has probably thrown mud on her

- and every christmas they never get each other anything because “why should i, idont care!!”

- SO THEN. WHEN SCHOOL COMES AROUND, THEY BOTH GET COMPETITIVE, AND FOR THE NEXT LIKE 4 YEARS ALL THEY DO IS ANNOY EACH OTHER ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL, COMPETE IN SPORTS, COMPETE OVER GRADES, LIMES THROWING PAPER WADS AT THE BACK OF HER HEAD (he sits behind her) THEM BOTH GETTING SENT TO DETENTION, MAKING THEM SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER LMFAO

- but also theyre kind of getting to know each other, and the fighting dies down into a more kind of rivalry with some making fun of each other, but push comes to shove most of their time is actually spent with each other, between running neighboring shops, sharing classes and sports, the commerce back and forth from school (especially since kiwi starts going to high school and they have to walk home alone together)

- (and this is also during the time when mochi is spending her weekends with her grandma training)

- and im thinking when theyre like….11-12 ish maybe?? (theyre still in the rivalry thing) theres this part in one of their normal school days where mochi is ACTUALLY being bullied by some older boys. like knock the books out of her hand and steal her money kind of bullying

- and lime sees this and he’s yeah, no. so he goes over and tells them to back the FUCK off, and of course they don't, and lime gets PISSED because IM THE ONLY ONE WHO’S ALLOWED TO BULLY HER ALRIGHT which actually leads to an actual fistfight, and this is also hilarious because lime is her hero for like 2 seconds before she mcfuckin kicks one of the guys in the shin and/or balls and lime is all “???????!!!/!?!? you can fight???” and mochi, sweating, just kinda nervously looks away like “uuu.h.h.hhhhh….n……..no…”

- so after the fight theyre just awkwardly sitting in the principals office, lime has a black eye, theyre both all stressed out hoping the school doesn’t call their parents, but the principal is cool about it and tells them “you were just defending yourselves, just go home and dont get in anymore trouble okay”

- and on the way home theyre both pretty quiet, mochi is kind of flustered because that was..pretty cool of him to stick up for me like that and lime is stressed out like fuck oh no oh god because hes SUPPOSED to NOT like her so why should i care??? if she gets bullied??? I don't!! but he does and it nags at him

- mochi keeps glancing over at him waiting at the bus stop, and he notices, (his face is red too) so hes like “what? why do you keep looking at me for??” and she hesitantly asks “hows your eye?”

- lime, nervously, just kind of babbles out “pft- its fine. doesnt affect how handsome my face is so-” to which she kind of gives him a flat look, but laughs at it a bit anyway. he stares at her for a bit before laughing for a while too. she asks if it hurts, and he just kind goes “eh” and mentions it would feel a lot better if he had like an ice pack or something

- so mochi notices a small convince shop nearby, and tells him to wait there. she comes back with a little ice pack thing and like. a popsicle or something for him. he blushes and thanks her and they just kinda go back to sitting in silence at the bus stop, before mochi says a quiet “…thank you for- sticking up for me back there-” and gives him this sweet cute lil smile

- and he, an idiot, just like rubs the back of the neck, and has to physically stop himself from blurting out some “whatever” or “yeah it wont happen again” or some other shit like that, so after about 30 seconds of silence he just kind of mumbles out a “you're welcome”

- and from this point their relationship is a little different. like they both kinda go home and realize they were just jerks to each other for no real reason, especially lime who now thinks shes not so bad and he didn't even know how or why they got off on the wrong foot in the first place

- meanwhile mochi is at home struggling with feelings because “gosh that actually was really cool of him to stick up for me. he really actually is cool what the heck. oh no”

- and they start being less idiotic and mean to each other (besides the occasional joking) and actually spend more time together, and eventually they like bring each other food for lunch and talk to each other about their interests and stuff, and lime invites mochi to come todont watch his baseball games, and mochi supports him at all his sports events and stuff.

- and they don't really realize or say it yet but they're best friends already. they're closest to each other and spend like almost all their time together

- (and im VERY sure theres gonna be some HORRIBLY embarrassing incident for lime that will have no details, but throughout the story it will be mentioned a few times by lime, something like “Mochi will NEVER think I’m cool!! She’s already seen me with that whole thing with the monk seal, and the shampoo bottle, there is no coming back from that!!” and everyone is just kinda “?????? what??” but it never gets unpacked. all we know is that is was REALLY embarrassing and uncool)

- but she does. she thinks hes cool. she thinks he is SO cool. she lays awake at night thinking about him

- and during this whole time mochi is getting to know the actual lime, and shes slowly developing a huge crush on him, which she first excuses as “noo its just a summer crush thing ill get over it” but she never does

- basically they were really idiot kids but i like the growing up dynamic

#chelseadanger #ask #long post #i love them as kids #bpp #bullet point posts #the misc adventures of mochi and lime #limochi #text

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strawberryspeachy · 5 years

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So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.

Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.

Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.

Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.

And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.

And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.

But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.

These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...

I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.

But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.

But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.

And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you

But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.

Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way

Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.

So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.

It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.

I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...

Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.

Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.

Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.

Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”

It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them

When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...

And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’

Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.

Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like

Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.

I like that... i like thay thing we do

In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.

Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.

Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???

Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.

Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.

Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching

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irregulardiaryposts · 3 years

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00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

#why does tumblr break up the paragraphs like this #there isnt supposed to be paragraphs #maybe i should change that #anyway off to fix all my post so far and tag the all like ->#june 2021 entry #2021 the year of fun

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uselessgayshit · 7 years

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Supergirl 3x09 Watch

-I’m prepping like an hour early for the emotional turmoil I feel like I’m about to go through. This is the first time I haven’t watched any of the sneak peaks so I am really going in blind. -I’m gonna have to deal with you know who, Lames, the gays all together at once without it being gay. -My theory is that Kara’s gonna die or come really close because of Reign. Maybe not this episode, but sometime in 3b. -I am also watching this episode live with my parents which could be a real doozy.

-listen baby, you can destroy national city if that’s what it takes for you to get back to your self, i support you -why is he talking so much all ready? -no one actually wanted the legion to be in this show but i guess they gave it to us anyway -Imra loves Kara, pass it on -I’ll fucking help you get home -”you might be here for awhile” NO,NO. come on -literally do not invite them wtf -Alex made it of course it is -this is aboslutely disgusting, i want to die. get away from me with this forced flirting. -everyone showed up to this in like christmas sweaters and pants and Lena fucking Luthor shows up in a probably few thousand dollar dress -this is the first time we’ve had a christmas episode on Supergirl and this is how they want to play it out. god i hate them -so now if a woman is not dating, she’s a crone????? check yourself -do you see that power lesbian -I am Ruby about Supergirl though tbh -bring up the best part of last season. Alex jumping off the balcony. ICONIC. -those two power lesbians talking about men make me want to die -”i am his boss” actually like good fucking point -”i can feel the chemistry” STOP GIVING YOUR CHARACTERS LINES TO TELL THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FEELING/THINKING -do they think putting them together are going to make us like it any more than us just suspecting it was gonna happen. -stop putting your female characters with men that previously despised them -also every single character doesn’t need to be in a relationship for this show to work. s1 was great without that. -can’t believe Supercorp is officially announced as #1 and they throw this at us. rough timing, guys -they’re also trying to end supercorp and reigncorp at the same time. but they tried that with the whole sister thing all ready. they’re fighting a fruitless battle -Sam has literally only done one thing for Kara and it was mostly for Lena so what is she even talking about. Like they have not been developed as friends -VASQUEZ IS BACK -what is this outfit she has on though. HOT DAMN, Lena. -okay Lena doesn’t need James to come in and protect her like this. she’s confronted Edge alone multiple times without backup -he’s really eating ribs with Irma now. thought that was a thing he did with Kara. Guess someone’s moved on. -Just logically, I’m not sure how she hasn’t moved on yet. They were apart more than they were together. I just don’t understand this hangup. Obviously him returning is rough and going to bring stuff up but at this point, theyre just drawing it out -the bar scene wasn’t necessary for the story at all. -i really didn’t expect this guy to have another episode -this dude is a mary sue wow -this guy is just like reading off the Kryptonian version of the Book of Revelations -there are more christmas decorations in each of the locations than there ever have been in this show -she is too old to be sitting on her mom’s lap but okay -”how did you know?” Ruby you never shut up about Supergirl, eveeryone knows -Sam loves Ruby so much like she’s gonna survive Reign -i don’t have Imra -me as Kara in any awkward situation -why she have all these cool af jackets -nifty retractable shield you got there -”quarterly assasination attempt” SHE’S HAD TWO IN THE SPAN OF THREE EPISODES -believing in something is Kara’s whole message???? her entire stance???? what???? -Okay so let’s pit women against women know wtf cw like really? you’ve dropped to this level? I shouldn’t be surprised. -YOU LOST YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY BUT MON-EL MOVING ON IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO YOU OKAY I’M LITERALLY FUCKING DONE -I don’t think I can even watch this for Katie, Chyler or Odette anymore -that was unnecessary destruction of property -are they gonna kiss in the office because that’s unprofessional -since when have they ever showed interest in each other aside from this episode though -idk she could stop watching SaturnValor if it makes her so upset -Alex would never tell her to get rid of her humanity this is ooc as far as they could fucking push it -Alex telling Kara to be cold totally dismisses the thought that Kara could get through to Sam -even with a mask you can tell that’s Sam, the glasses really don’t work -Lena watching her girlfriend beat up like so struck wow -I don’t like seeing Kara beat up or hurt but I do like to see her face an opponent that is equal and actually who seems stronger -maybe that’s how she will learn her compassion and hope mean everything -this is a pretty damn good fight scene -”you are no god’ yeah pretty sure she said that same exact thing -how did the ‘s’ come off her suit -I get why they want “is Kara dead” (though she’s not and everyone knows it) to be the cliffhanger but they didn’t pace the past eight episodes enough to offer that and gain anything. it feels rushed because it was and it doesn’t worry me one bit. I also am not surprised.

#my post #supergirl liveblog #supergirl watch #supergirl 3x09 #supergirl season 3 #supercorp

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mattelektras · 7 years

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I kinda want to ask what you don't like about Matt/Elektra MCU Defenders in comparison to the comic book, but I love them so much in Defenders that I kinda don't want to know. So better question what do you love about them in the comic?

aahh dont worry i love them to death in defenders too!! the writing of elektra just changed a lot of things from how im used to them being. but reasons i love them in 616!!!

they met in college!!! theyve known each other for a serious length of time. theyve stayed in one another’s lives after all that time

and despite all of their arguments and disagreements, and everything both of the have been through, they always help one another out. they drop EVERYTHING to go and help the other even if its just for talking like in dd #35

matt purified elektra’s dead body with the power of his love for her like thats....a bold statement to make not many comic couples can say that!!!

they both represent the way either of them could have turned out if things had been different. matt took his tragedies and channeled them into something good. elektra took hers and channels it into ending people like the ones that ruined her life. its a two sides of the same coin kind of thing

they were both smart college kids in social sciences who wanted to help the world they were gonna be this lawyer/humanitarian power couple

matt EMBODIES the good left in the world to elektra and thats why she’s not totally cold and sociopathic. he reminds her of who she used to be before she lost her father which is how she wishes she could still be

they understand one another and the things theyve been through on a level that no one else could ever do for them. like their shared experiences with bullseye or the hand or stick

‘first love first everything’

they dont have to be dating to have the connection that they have??? they dated once a LONG time ago and they havent been a couple ever since, but they still do all of the shit they do for one another, they still have the exchanges that they have

everyone in the marvel universe knows of elektra as this terrifying maybe dead maybe not super assassin but matt is so casual with her because he knows her

theyve both been the leader of the hand and know the very specific ways in which the hand can fuck with you

matt killed bullseye with elektra’s sai for her even though he was possessed by an evil assassin demon at the time. the first thing he thought to do with new power and strength was to go and teach that bitch a lesson

she can canonically get past his radar sense when she needs to

he knows what she sounds and smells like when she lies

not a lot of people would trust elektra considering her reputation but matt absolutely trusts her with his fucking life and he’s always gonna give her the benefit of the doubt when no one else will. ie when nat was gonna fight her on sight but matt gave her a chance

theyre never bitter at one another for moving on. elektra has helped matt’s girlfriends multiple times because she wants him to be happy

‘I SPAR BEST WITH YOU’ they both fight for a living. like its a huge part of their lives/ and for matt its a very unique experience because of his senses. they both fight in COMPLETELY different ways and for different reasons, but somehow theyre both at their best when they fight together

matt being one of the only people to still believe in/see good in elektra

the fact that if that One Thing had never happened.... they would still be together. in what if elektra had lived, they run away together and give up everything together which makes the fact that she didnt live even more tragic because she was tht close to having something good???? that close to being happy but my girl never gets what she deserves!!!!

‘elektra has only been in love once and true love never dies’

the mental breakdown matt has every time he sees a saielektra associating the entire city of new york with him

she crawled whilst dying, across a city so she could die with him, despite the fact they were supposed to be enemies and they werent even on particularly good terms at the time

#otp: i spar best with you #theyre just like......... my ship theyre my ship im never gonna have a comparison #anonymous #q & a

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s3venpounds · 7 years

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1 - 40

jesus buddy, if you wanted to know more about me just friend me somewhere and talk to me facebook,discord,overwatch,psn, snapchat w.e! haha i dont bite!

also this is gonna be really feckin long

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

How to train your dragon (1 and 2 i can’t decide) I fucking LOVE dragons. the idea to fucking ride one in the sky?!?! fucking DOPE. the idea that theyre also SCALY DOGS?!?!? MOTHER.FUCKING.DOPE. i just associate the idea of freedom with flying through the sky and that feeling was conveyed really well in that movie so i really loved it!

2: Talk about your first kiss.

honestly? kinda dumb now that i look back on it. it was a peck, i wasn’t even like mentally prepared and it happened way faster than i thought. If i knew it was going to happen i would have really like milked that fucker. i woulda went romance movie on that shit with all the extra shit like groping and weird inhaling noises and kissing so hard your teeth almost clink together. but yknow coulda woulda shoulda

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

theyre not a part of my life anymore which admittedly fucking sucks but i think its for the better at least for them. do i wish it worked out and we were together? i mean yeah duh, the reasons i fell for them don’t fucking disintegrate/ i just have more information than i had when i first met that person. will i actually actively pursuit them in the chance to be with them again? hell no. i’m tired. and i’ve seen enough “ self confidence” posts on here to think “ hey if someone really wanted me in their life they would go out of their way to do so and seeing as they haven’t even messaged me in god knows how long then its safe to say theyre off being happy

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

man i haven’t seen this person is literally almost 20 years. I need to apologize. or at the very fucking least, see how theyre been doing. its driving me mad just trying to picture how theyre living and just coming up with a giant question mark.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

lets be real bro most of my birthdays have been shit so i gave up on tryna make them memorable or fun, ‘s just another day to me. i mean the best one would have to be this one time i got a gameboy advance but thats pretty much it

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

yknow how everyone says “ OH MY GOD WE SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH” once you move? yeah thats bullshit. honest to god bullshit. i kept tabs on everyone when i moved to a different city and when i came down to visit for my birthday inviting all those people who supposed “wanted to keep in touch with me” literally 1 person showed up. and i think they only showed up because our parents were friends too. so yeah. fuck people sometimes.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

hygiene. breath, hair, clothes, eating habits, manners, anything that might make me come off as unclean to people im trying to impress drives me off the fucking wall. specially at formal events. if im wearing snazzy clothing at like a suite 16 or a debut or a wedding bet you $100 that im adjusting little aspects of my appearance every like 15 seconds. eating mints the second one is finished, trying not to be too close to someones face when talking, even when i fucking fart i always take note of which way the wind is blowing, or im sitting down on something that can absorb the stench, how much pressure is in my gut and how much of it can i let out in small bursts to avoid sound. that or asian dick syndrome. yknow. haha asians got a small dick? that kinda shit bugs me a bit. not a ton but more than i thought it would

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.(i am literally only 8 questions in and my fingers are a little sore from typing)

my singing and impressions? i once scared some friends when i imitated a party blower kazoo thingy since the ones they bought from the dollarstore didnt make any sound. same as my singing, i tend to get high scores and i impressed my cousins once with a perfect score on a backstreet boys song HEH

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my biceps? theyre not like chris hemsworth level of meaty but like when i worked at this physically demanding job my coworkers are like “ woah dude ur arms are different from mine, if you worked out theyd look so ripped” that kinda stuck with me for a while specially knowing they were a football jock and they had their own special diet and fitness instructor or something. i also like my smile/ jaw shape? my hair can look pretty good too sometimes

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

my family is very passive aggressive oh and racist

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

i once had this dream where i had reallllly passionate sex and it felt real and i could feel like every little detail down to like hairs brushing my skin on my arms and shit. i swear to this day it was a modern day succubus or something

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

that dream where i was a bird and flying away from”something” just all my instincts telling me to RUN. or that dream where i got shot in the hand, chest then the head and before i blacked out i said “Ch*****” who incidentally i was going to see later that day which made things very awkward at least for me

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

it was pretty good. looking back i was probably shit in bed hahaha first time so of course theres shit to work out.

14: Talk about a vacation.

hit on by a cousin AND their gay friend. to which the cousin threatened me with self harm but the gay friend took the rejection very easily it was almost baffling in comparison (although the second the settled down they started to bash on me for rejecting their friend) also ate some REALLLLLY garlic covered crab the smell took 5 washes to get out… also got to ride in the back of a truck as its driving at like 120 mph and flying off all these little hills and tracking mud everywhere it was great

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

she was in my arms fast asleep and i took a photo. she didnt like that but let me keep the pic so that was nice.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

i can’t really remember any that stand out they were all equally fun. dont get me wrong some were super fun its just that it was also followed by a lot of bad choices that kinda take it down a notch. i will say this one party a friend hosted where i got to meet a BUNCH of new people. i also snorted some fundip powder as a dare. they refuse to let it go so i figure might as well own it. i also landed some sweet shots in beerpong

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

ellen paige would be dope to be friends with. same with zendaya. and gal gadot just so i can like sit in her presence and be in awe for extended periods of time

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

i was cheating on a test and my so called friend ratted me out never talked to him again that white privilege lookin hoe

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

i stopped talking to a friend that id thought i would be friends with for my whole life. i also became friends with my current best friend

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

people are dumb. drama is dumb. people who seek out this kinda shit needa leave me the hell alone. and if youre going to challenge me to a fight, tell me about said fight so i can show up. dont march around telling people ur gonna fight me and not tell me so i dont show up and make it look like i pussied out. like for real?

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

oh yeah like the vacation one said : shit got really weird. and to have that sorta conversation on spotty wifi in an airport in south korea meaning jet lag is also disorienting af

22: Talk about your worst fear.

death. nuff said

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

it sucked but it happens so like.? lmao i dont really know waht to say but it sucked

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i have a horrible memory and on top of that my mind moves at like 32754895274 miles a second so i dont keep stuff in mind a lot in the first place. i can’t really think of anything that had so much impact that i’ve remembered it. well i mean there was this one song a friend told me about in a letter and to this day i’ve kept remembering the same verse “ maybe if we met each other under a different sky maybe things would be much better between you and i”

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

we just….grew apart. and if we tried to be friends now im sure there would be tension and unease. hes just in a different friend circle. i dont hate him for it i just feel like hes living in a world of white and im living in a world of black like its just plain and simple

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

on the computer. i can’t rest when im sick. i just keep trudging along. school, work, hangouts, i still go. i just take precautions to not spread it

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

neck? shoulder? hands? face? hair? idk dood i don’t really like specific places more of how WELL those parts can mesh together to make this beautiful being.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

y’all about to learn some shit because im gonna teach you a thing about me. pov’s, deepthroat/gagging, emo/goth, anal, massage, ropes and power trips, asians, tentacles if im feeling kinky, hentai /cartoon shit, glory holes, dirty talk and asmr (who woulda thought theres porn for that huh?), ahegao(being fucked silly or till your mind breaks into being nothing but a cumdump), swallowing, threesomes, double penetration, latex is pretty cool too, cosplays are nice if the characters are ones i recognize, tittyfucks, source film maker porn of like video game characters are getting pretty professional nowadays, lesbian, orgys, teenage girls and old ass guys, horse dicks and girls who try to take em, i got turned on by a girl fucking a dog once so i guess bestiality is a thing, oh i saw this scene in a movie im not sure if it was real it seems kinda hazy but it involved necrophilia but im not sure if it turned me on or it was so weird i’ve memorized it because of how weird it was. chicks with dicks fucking other chicks. and a plethora of other weird shit. i dont know what fetishes count and what doesn’t so i just listed whatever came to mind as i wrote have fun with that shit

29: Talk about what turns you on.

short hair, asian heritage, playful and lighthearted but can be lustful as all hell, shorter than me, big boobs is a plus, mid driffs, underboob, small frame or face, scent( god if you smell good thats instant brownie points with me), likes anime, high pitch voices are cute as hell, very physically intimate, loves PDA’s, yeah i can’t really think of much

30: Talk about what turns you off.

uhh smells bad?, when their personality is bland/boring, or just shit. over timidness i get being shy but like if you can’t trust that the person youre interested in then like what am i supposed to do. i literally dated a girl who was so sheepish all i could do was ask her yes or no questions. and honestly that got old really fucking fast. i get she was trying but like i can only finesse so much of a relationship man. bad hygiene holy fuck. if you got like ear wax showin our ur ears, or like a bleeding pimple in plain view and refuse to at least dab it with a wet cloth or tissue then pls its not gonna work out. dandruff oh my gOD. dandruff would drive me nuts. like if i get close enough to see individual fucking flakes im gonna tear my whole scalp off

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

i feel like our bodies stop responding but our “souls” are still present there trapped screaming and trying to move our body but can’t. and thats why burials and shit sound so terrifying

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

dont need to. im a couple blocks away i can visit it any time. (my elementary and middle school the neighbourhood surrounding it was also where i used to live so that was dope)

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

i force myself to get MORE sad so i can get it all out in one go and much faster. like how the human mind can only get so angry that the brain gives up and just tries to find another way to spend its time.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

when i was a kid me and bunch of other kids decided to clog a slide with just a shit ton of people and one of my friends who came after me kept pushing me to the point i was hanging on for dear life using only my knee down that was wedged between a fat kid and my friend who went after me. i fell off eventually knocking skulls with another kid near the end of the slide(this slide was shaped like a spring so that explains why there were kids under me) my arm bend backwards for a sec after hitting another kid’s legs, and then i fell chest and fast first on the asphalt winding myself. kids are rugged as all hell man they can really take a hit. i walked it off but god damn if i didnt get bruises and shit afterwards. or that time i got beaten so bad by father dearest because work was stressful and i ended up blacking out. wasn’t even allowed to go to the hospital. just kinda laid down in my room with bruises all over.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

relying on people for happiness. distracting myself from sadness and responsibilities. procrastinating in general

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

i dont really feel guilt save for some specific circumstances. ask any of my friends. does that mean im a sociopath or whatever?

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

they just got out of a relationship with someone and was avoiding them profusely and i just started to get to know them. we got to the point that when she was ready we could date. little did i know that later, she would end up dating a friend of mine. to which i promptly had the appropriate reaction of crying myself to sleep, sending that friend a text message with all the things he should know to keep that girl happy and ultimately smashing a lot of things (some bottles actually because we were gonna build a sculpture or something together with em. man middle school was a fucking RIDE)

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

mmmmmm i would prefer to keep those underwraps.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

family will be there for you in the end. (not because they want to but because the world teaches them that they have to meaning they will help just in their own way and to their own ends.) friends come and go. they always have always will. anyone who says forever is a fuckin idiot. lovers come and go thats just a natural part of growing up. and lets be real all the people that said they would self harm ultimately never did so dont stress it so much god damn(but dont let it slide either)

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

how about the end of my interest in anime and video games. nothing seems to really interest me anymore. everything is just kinda “meh”

#ask me shit #its fun to tell people way more shit than they wanted

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sheencko · 7 years

Text

mr. moreau

an unfinished scrap of a novel i am not sure ill continue

i can see it its a diamond with the crossroads its white borders from my cracked window up here

i ‘ave to get that fixed)— just below the fog (the fog is low today)

��and its on top of the street that was just painted

oh yesterday or maybe the day before that

or something,

i think

black as my genevieve’s ‘air

two bodies crisscrossed atop of each other and splattered like paint on a black canvas, a pollack of angry reds and i cant see their face cause theyve been ravaged by the hard concrete and im so high up looking down like a dreamer into a field of rye and i shudder because oh, how painful is that but i also suppose,

when youre fallin i guess you only feel the woosh of the wind under you and maybe your soul leaves your body before your body breaks into a million teeny tiny pieces and everything inside you that youve ever dreamed flows out of you like a bucket tipping over onto a tile floor—maybe

maybe its a perpetual fear and youre trapped inside a perpetual cycle of mind numbing terror because youre falling to your doom and you regret that your feet left the edge in the first place and maybe, maybe you shoulda called your mom and then told her that you loved her one last time or apologized to the man that you bumped into while you were hurrying home yesterday and the tears are flying from your face ‘cause you can see them surrounding your grave wearin nothing but black and your father is silent but a kind of silent youve never seen before and in that second you can just SEE him taking the same path you are and then

maybe the fear grips your limbs like god coming down and punishing you but all you feel is a childish sort of aversion an “i dont wanna” cause you dont wanna—you dont wanna die cause you have so so much to live for and youre cryin to some big fat man up in the sky but whats he gonna do? he cant stop you

but i wouldn’ know but i took the elevator and went down to look at the scene anyway cause we’re all drawn to the misfortune of others anyway like nothing more than moths having an orgy on a blue flame

mr. steinway was next to me in the elevator; he lived on the 13th floor and i on the 12th i saw him smoking up on the roof sometimes. he was a gentleman by any other name, except the part where his wife left him cause hed been caught with a particularly young mistress but i suppose that didnt matter because he played ravel’s jeux d’eau like no one else in the world could and maybe he played her body like that homonymous six figure grand he has, who knows

his face was wrinkled and ugly but the melodies he played were smooth and beautiful so who cared about his damn visage i guess

“oh, mister moreau,” and for that matter, his voice wasnt particularly musical either

“steinway, are you heading down to see what happened?”

“arent we all,” he chuckled like the deaths were a funny little joke he had made up,

“i think i’ll stop by the grocery store”

“is that so?” he spoke like a conductor introducing a symphony to an ignorant audience and he was just trying to find a way to relive his days of performing inside carnegie hall’s stern auditorium because all he performed in now was his empty apartment, we around ‘im the unwilling listeners. he silently watched the floor numbers count down on the bar above the elevator doors 10 9 8 7 “i ‘aven’t been there lately.” he finally said like he had wondered how to talk without being offensive while still showing his pockets were full of gold.

dick, i thought 4 5

and waited and 2 1 and the doors opened.

our doorman greeted us. he was a fine fellow and i talked with him when it was too awkward for silence. he had a prized son about to head off to columbia on some scholarship or another and his younger daughter was expected to follow in his shoes. his mother was bedridden his dad dead and apparently he made a great deal of money working as a valet for the most expensive hotel in the city on the weekends. he liked the color orange and his ties were sometimes tied with a different knot because his daughter liked to practice on him. for lunch he preferred a simple tomato and mozzarella panini from the cafe a few blocks away but occasionally he partook in the pita bread and hummus that mrs. tomadakis on the fourth floor gave him and he always always despised it when someone moved the rug in front of the door. i didnt know his name.

“another suicide, huh?” he gave me a warm smile and mr. steinway a slightly cooler one

he said ‘another’ because it had been the eighth one this month and we were only fourteen days into it and silently, slowly we found ourselves heading towards a point of numb disassociation—when one person committed suicide it was all over the news like mr. steinway’s scandal and you learned their birthday, their name, their age,

every tiny detail of they had been, the sorrow of their friends and family,

and everything that happened between the day that they they came into the world and the day they left

and the people reacted with horror, the parents apologized to their kids and the kids to their parents, and the grief counselors opened their doors to those who had lost someone in a similar fashion and had to relive the memory through someone else’s eyes and maybe a wide-eyed girl holdin the blade to her small wrist told herself not today, not today

but of course, thats me being optimistic

sometime after the third suicide all that popped up was a name and a vague somethingorother reason they lit themselves on fire or shot themselves in the ‘ead or something and then a frown from the casters, maybe a tinge of sympathy entered their tone but then 10 seconds passed and they forgot because this was all part of a trend that would end. the people talked about the suicides in hushed tones but now the conservations were turning into a more questioning again? and a response of yeses and then it tended to be never discussed again because hey it didnt involve us anyhow

so the nameless bodies started to pile up one on top of each other and i knew the faces and names of maybe three or four but no more.

i nodded to him. “troubling,” i said, because what else could i say

“yes, definitely. my wife had me turn off the news last night because she was so… distressed at all the incidents lately” the doorman replied and there was a hint of something unknown when he said it. nonetheless he turned to the man next to me because his priorities were his own “I heard your playing the other day, mr. steinway. marvelous as always,” he said, voice turned slick because steinway gave good tips. he couldn’t hear anything from all the way on the 1st floor of course

mr. steinway looked chuffed, a prizewinning cock who fought with all the other roosters. “the debussy or the khachaturian?”

“the khachaturian, of course. i always find myself partial to the contemporary—“ the doorman said in an inviting tone to begin an conversation that would undoubtedly net him a few more dollars or maybe a lot more next week—

“interesting!” steinway murmured in that hushed tone since discussion of classical music was clearly some covert operation that no one was supposed to know about. i walked outside into the cool fall air knowing that they would be stuck there for a good ten minutes or more and noticed that the crowd around the two corpses in the middle was gone already and the first thing i wondered was not who they were but rather if dear genevieve had heard the news

there is a photographer standing by the bodies with her big old camera snap snap and she looks up and stares at me staring at her she stands up and i notice that the bottom of her pants have been scuffed by the road she smiles at me without dusting herself off,

“hello!” she was too cheery for the death in front of her “do you live here?” she is the only one out here and the world feels strangely empty

“yes, i” i pointed to the clean, modern building to the left “live just over there,”

she looked at me up and down up and down “you wouldn’t know these people would you?” no i wouldnt

“no” her face fell but then it rose again as she stuffed a card into my clammy hand and the bracelets on her hand jangled and she grinned at me with white teeth but the front two were crooked as if someone ‘ad taken a pair of pliers to them and her brown ‘air was messy, her skin lighter than mine—“i was just wondering since no one seems to know who they are” (she spoke in a rush like she was breathless) and i finally start to wonder indeed, who they are because even as corpses their hands are entwined together “i’m” and now that im down here i can see the fine details in their “photographer, i” faces and the one on the left has that dead fish look in their dark eyes and the eyes are wide open and theyre staring into “crime scenes” my very soul and i wonder if theyre blaming me for my being complicit in their deaths because i too heard the news and did nothing but “ive been in the news” my hands are shaking and i think i couldnt have done anything because i didnt know but something jabs me — a maybe i did know because i too heard the news and passed by disinterested “but i also do” and im staring back at them and theyre staring back at me in a staring contest that i know i will lose “family portraits, anything you need basically” and the one on the rights eyes are closed and the part of their face that isnt all burst open and spilling onto the floor has a tender charm and their lips are fixed in what seems like a peaceful smile but im thinking no there is no way that could be peaceful and oh “call the number if” their ‘ands are all so small if i could just have grabbed those before they jumped maybe id be staring at an empty black canvas instead of a grotesque exhibit of all that we ‘ave done wrong

work title:

artist:

medium: human on concrete

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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April 4th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 4th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Kamikaze by Alan Tupper, Havana Nguyen, and Carrie Tupper; Edited by Rachelle Udell and D'Andrea Seabrook.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Kamikaze by lan Tupper, Havana Nguyen, and Carrie Tupper; Edited by Rachelle Udell and D'Andrea Seabrook~! (https://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene so far is probably the huge long sequence that follows the bomb explosion and markesha is running away. i love just how real and down to earth that scene is. like markesha doesnt magically come to her destiny or just treat what happened is nbd after suddenly becoming a ninja. nope, shes runs, like a normal person would do regardless if they were a runner or not, and is pursued. everthing about this sequence really carried this tension. cause in this moment she was not some future superheroine. she was a young woman terrified for her life. and it just felt so relateable.

keii4ii

I have several favorite scenes. One of them is Markesha's confrontation with Franco. The intro to that scene is thick with tension; I love the juxtaposition with the radio/music and could see it play like a movie in my head! http://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/kamikaze/pg-2-gatekeeper/ Not to mention how it ends. It's the first time something works out right(ish) between Markesha and Orson. Due to the circumstances, the scene leaves a lot of distrust to be resolved, but it was nice to see that first step of working together. It struck a good balance of tension and a truce.

RebelVampire

another scene im particular to is that scene where markesha is standing on the rooftops debating whether she should work with orson or not. not only is it beautifully illustrated, but i really like the juxtaposition in the story. like showing her other opportunity leaving the city without her. cause once that caravan leaves, its really a no way out declaration. markesha is trapped whether she wants to or not.

i do love the franco scene for how it painted the world. cause in the opening sequence i was like, "come on this is the post apocalypse he seems the type to be packing a gun." and then boop, he pulled out a gun and i felt vindicated XD

but i just really appreciated how the character really acted in the worst way possible per expectation of the world

Carrie Tupper

I think this is the first time I've EVER heard any compliments toward Franco, period. xD

RebelVampire

i mean the dudes dead. so umm, no sense on spitting on his grave

Carrie Tupper

Fair enough, but I'm sure Markesha wouldn't mind.

RebelVampire

nobody should mind hes dead. especially the runner who originally was supposed to take the package. now theres a person who lucked the heck out.

Carrie Tupper

Ha, as Orson would say: "Indeed."

keii4ii

Also not exactly a scene, but one detail I really liked was the "fresh wild meat" store with the live rabbits. It's a nice nod to the rabbit... metaphor...? thingie, but I loved it for the little mundane worldbuilding bit it was.

Carrie Tupper

OMG YAY

I'm so glad you notices that Keii4ii!

noticed*

keii4ii

It helped that I saw such stores near me when I was growing up

Fried chicken places with live chickens in cages

Carrie Tupper

That whole bit was thrown is as a bit of a metaphoric way of saying, "Markesha's releasing the story into the world herself whether she realizes it or not."

RebelVampire

i appreciated too the subtle world building it did too. cause it both demonstrates in a small way how desperate everyone is for food while at the same time showing how theyve made everything work and are still able to operate somewhat the same as before

Carrie Tupper

I think it's interesting that y'all zeroed in on the tension/action bits. Most people tell me the parts they remember the most are those between Markesha and Toshi.

RebelVampire

i like seeing markesha and toshi interact, but at the same time theyre father and daughter. so at the end of the day theres probably gonna be love and hugs and theres kind of a safety net there where their relationship is concerned.

meanwhile everyone else is ready to put a bullet in markesha's head

minus like 3 people

keii4ii

I'm partial to child-parent conflicts so I've been more interested in Markesha's situation with her missing mom than with her dad.

RebelVampire

and one of those whose name is orson i dont trust

yeah i do like the tension between them regarding the mom. that definitely is a highlight since theyre both handled it so differently

keii4ii

Speaking of her mom.... that little problem they ran into with her DNA clearance thing (forgot what it's called/ what page it was on) is totally not suspicious at all, no sir.

RebelVampire

ill be more keen on their interactions later cause toshi was the one who really wanted markesha to take orson's job. but he also seems the most likely to go "wait shes doing what i didnt approve of that"

Carrie Tupper

Hahah "blacklisted bloodline"

RebelVampire

so that seems like a potential argument later

nah nobody did nothing at all

just a typo

never heard of the nin family

QUESTION 2. After avoiding it for a while, Markesha does agree to help Orson’s group. Do you think Markesha is finally settled on helping the group, or will she continue to panic and try to run for it? How do you think her first mission will go? Do you believe the first mission will help cement her motivations for helping Orson, or will it scare her away again? What do you think will happen when Markesha’s father finds out exactly what she’s doing for Orson? Further, do you think the Razors will figure out Orson covered for Markesha and was actually the one to deliver the bomb? If they do, what will they do to both Orson and Markesha? Finally, how do you think Markesha will mature and grow over the course of the story?

mathtans

I'll be here to comment shortly...

RebelVampire

hi math! take your time~!

Carrie Tupper

I think my personal fave scene is the one where Audrey and Orson butt heads in the 2nd episode. She's totally not down for this, thinks it's a bad idea, and I think it says a lot about Orson that he'll take that kind of talk around him. Like...he's not so iron fisted he won't hear someone drag his ideas for the desperate moves they are.

Hi, hi, Math!

keii4ii

Yeah, Orson never struck me as controlling, just really adamant

RebelVampire

orson is one of those characters where i dont know if i should love them or hate them. but like in the good tense way that keeps me on edge. hes this perfect blend of being a cool dude while at the same time kind of being a jerk.

mathtans

Only made it through the first two episodes, but of those, I think my fave scene is actually when Markesha rubs the rabbit talisman and leaves, and beat panel, and then Toshi does after she's gone. The sort of thing that you could have totally skipped over, but gave much more weight to his character early on, in my mind.(edited)

RebelVampire

yeah that was a beautiful pause

cause it really said so much about toshi in that moment

and just non verbally explained why he was so insistent she rub it

cause its more a thing for him and his heart

than it is for her

i want to believe that markesha's panicking is kind of done in the sense shes just gonna run forever. i think though in that first mission she's going to be moving forward on adrenaline and saying shit a lot to get through it. however, i think once orson is back he can explain things better, and that will cement in her desires more. that and i think shell see the opportunity as a way to improve toshi's life at the end and stick with it for that reason.

i 100% think when toshi finds out he wont be happy tho

and then theyll have that argument

where toshi is like how could you

and markesha is like "hey you pushed me into accepting his deal"

mathtans

Okay, more or less here, catching up on the start. I guess I went for the more traditional. Though the bit with the mother is kind of heartbreaking. Though at the same time inspirational what with how close Markesha's become with her dad. And I totally missed the metaphor of releasing the rabbits.

A couple runner-up scenes... right at the beginning, where the elevator opens and it's full of security guys by accident. I thought that was funny. Also, well played, setting up this guy as the main character and it's actually his team that are the key ones moving on.

Second runner up scene... welp, if you know me, you KNOW I'm shipping Kamikaze and Flare, so yeah.

Carrie Tupper

Yeah... I may or may not get a lot of people mad at me about Jackal...

Shipping already? Wow xD

mathtans

Mad at you? I thought it was clever. A way of showing no one's safe, in a way.

I go for all the yuri ships, hinted or not.

RebelVampire

i do miss jackal. the character well never really get to know. but nah, not mad. i mean this is the post apocalypse and you cant have post apocalypse without showing the world can be...unforgiving

plus it raises the stakes for orson

cause now everything is riding on markesha

but like

no pressure or anything there markesha

mathtans

As to Orson, here's a crazy theory. His "trial run" was actually to see if a bomb could be delivered fast enough to not explode in transit. He's in league with the bomber, presumably indirectly.

(Did we ever find out what that trial was about?)

Carrie Tupper

Hmmm, there's a flavor of that theory I haven't seen.

The trial run in the beginning?

mathtans

I prefer chocolate over vanilla. Right, that one, the one Markesha was 27 seconds late for.

Carrie Tupper

Yeah, there's a page where Link asks Orson how the "courier angle" went

RebelVampire

see, the way i feel about orson, i cant say no to that theory. orson is a shady dude even when im cheering for him.

Carrie Tupper

The idea there was that Orson was throwing a hail mary that a courier could be hired to do the job, but her parameters were a little high for untrained runners.

mathtans

But what was he couriering, eh? Secret bombs, maybe?

Rebel: It's true. The guy removed the evidence of his gun and everything.

Carrie Tupper

Orson's a professional, he's not perfect, but he's defintely been in the game for a loooong time.

mathtans

As to Rebel's questions, I think Markesha's instinct is to run. I was honestly inclined to smack her upside the head for disobeying her father the way she did, when he was making sense. Can kinda see her point of view, mind.

keii4ii

He knows his priorities. Gotta respect that even if I may not agree with him sometimes

Carrie Tupper

One of the hard realities Orson has to constantly deal with is the fact that he can't control everything in the outer city. Doing his jobs a lot easier when you can leverage everyone, but the chaos of Outer Trinity is almost a force of nature that he's just kinda...gotta make the best of.

mathtans

I think she's destined to grow though, from what we've seen in the special later storyline bits. (cough Shipping cough )

RebelVampire

i like that mix where orson cnt control everything yet gives off this attitude that sure he can, hes orson. gotta admire that confidence.

mathtans

Incidentally, real interesting format, what with giving some tidbits about the city or characters underneath the page. I didn't get a chance to read them all.

Carrie Tupper

Charisma seen from outer space

mathtans

Orson seems very sure of himself - and his coworkers. Probably why, as Carrie said, he can tolerate things like Audrey's challenges.

Handy trait given the position he's in.

RebelVampire

tbf its not like audrey's points are invalid anyway. shes making good points even if she chooses to express them very aggressively.

though between the three i like link the best cause hes a breathe of fresh air who brings sunshine and comedy to the bleak and serious world.

mathtans

She is. Though given she seems to be the one who needs to activate the kill switch, she's got a more personal stake.

Link spies on young girls though.

Carrie Tupper

That's a unique viewpoint, Rebel! We don't have many Link fans.

Are there any moments in particular you like with Link?

mathtans

If I had to pick a favourite character, it might be Toshi. Not just because he's a writer, but because he's doing his best under crazy circumstances. And doesn't let his blindness stop him. (Also, my God, all the pathos for the issue with his wife.)

biab, little one's fussing.

RebelVampire

i dont know whether to applaud toshi's dedication to his wife or not. cause i mean loyalty is an admirable quality, but theres also a point i agree with markesha and its time to smack him into realizing she probably isnt coming back.

as for favorite link moments, probably the scenes at markesha's house. especially where he critiques audrey for how strong shes coming on...and then proceeds to come on very strong. besides being funny, i think its a good moment that shows he does basically just kind of his own moral compass for better or for worse.

but i also really liked the dialogue sequence between him and audrey that markesha could here

cause it really showed the vulnerability everyone is in atm

QUESTION 3. Despite having to work for Orson, there are many questions surrounding Orson’s work. Who exactly are Audrey and Link, and how do you think they wound up working with Orson? Who exactly is Orson? What are Orson’s personal motivations for participating in the project? For that matter, why is Orson so hated and blamed for what happened to the Cornerstone family? What do you think happened to the Cornerstone family exactly, and how might it tie in to the story? Also, who is Orson’s boss? What are they trying to accomplish as far as changing the balance of power goes? How are they trying to accomplish it? Lastly, what do you think was in the canister seen at the beginning of the comic?

ShaRose49

Idk what to think about Orson, I can’t tell if he’s good or bad. Leaning more towards good though. My fav thing about this is that it looks like an animated series and the father-daughter relationship is a pretty good one and I feel like I don’t see that very often so kudos to you guys for that

Carrie Tupper

Thanks @ShaRose49

ShaRose49

No prob!

mathtans

Back briefly. I feel like Toshi not wanting to leave isn't simply due to his wife though. When you're blind, and living in a place, you kinda know where everything is. Having to leave would suuuck.

ShaRose49

It’s inspiring to me cause I’d like to be involved in animation as well someday

@mathtans I agree

RebelVampire

but not wanting to leave when your daughter is being hunted by the local gang is borderline insanity XD

ShaRose49

Oh yeah

mathtans

(I'm not at the bit where Link/Audrey go to Markesha yet, so no comment on that.)

Except dude was providing an alternative to that. Just saying.

Carrie Tupper

@mathtans You're quite right. It's complicated for Toshi. There's most DEFINITELY an edge of "I won't leave her," but there's also the complications of leaving in both a mental and physical way. He's lived there forever, had memories built with his family, and leaving means he'd have to re-learn layouts all over again. That can be stressful and painful for someone who can't see.

mathtans

As to the latest question, maybe Orson's boss is one of those people vying to fill the vacant seat at the council chambers.

RebelVampire

but toshi wouldnt even consider leaving till markesha super forced his hand. and to me thats the point where it reaches obsession cause hes willing to trust is some rando stranger and risk his daughters safety just on the .000001% chance his wife is coming back and because eww change. and while i empathize with toshi, that is a moment where i felt hes just being a bad dad. cause his own pain is more important than the life of his daughter

mathtans

And as to the canister, I'd say it had seeds or something, but it was apparently super heavy without the suit, so that doesn't jibe.

Rebel: Fair point about the stranger trust thing. But there were some logical arguments in there too. I guess there's layers of opinion.

biab again

keii4ii

I like Orson. He seems like he genuinely believes what he's doing is the best option for many in a crappy world, and accepts the shady aspects of it as a necessary price. There's a lot about him that's yet to be revealed, so maybe I won't agree with his endgame, but I still see an inherent value in that... belief in a non-self-centered goal.

ShaRose49

@Respheal yeah he’s definitely not perfect

Got some issues

RebelVampire

i definitely think hes a good guy and has a non-self centered goal. that being said, bending the rules can...corrupt your moral compass. so if at the end hes an antagonist, i would not be surprised

also wrong tag there @ShaRose49

ShaRose49

Whoops!!

I musta slipped

My bad

Respheal

o_o

lol, s'ok

ShaRose49

Oh heeey, we were just talking about you!

Carrie Tupper

ShaRose49

Accidentally!!

RebelVampire

seeds would make the most sense there where the cannister is concerned. as for the heaviness, well that couldve been more from the cannister itself than whats in the cannister.

keii4ii

I am very sorry because this is a terrible, terrible idea, but "if at the end he's an antagonist" just made me imagine him becoming a Final Boss a la that nanomachine boss from the Metal Gear Solid series.

Carrie Tupper

Oof. I gotta keep my mouth shut here, but y'all got some interesting ideas about Orson. xD

RebelVampire

maybe whats in the cannister are the secrets to weather control cause you never have to worry about the crops again if you can control the weather

mathtans

Back, mostly. That's a good take on Orson, keii4ii.

Incidentally, I notice we're only, like, 15 years from the "end of the world" as far as the story chronology seems to go. Yikes?

Carrie Tupper

15?

RebelVampire

its okay keii i pictured him in about 20 different video game boss forms when i said that XD

keii4ii

omg

Carrie Tupper

Just put glasses and a half vest on EVERY boss xD

mathtans

The tag line says "what happens when the world's first superheroine shows up two hundred years after the end of the world"... and I thought I saw a date marker of, like, 2227 somewhere.

(Someone's birth year? Mirage? I dunno.)

Carrie Tupper

Year is 2235

2235 - 200 years is 2035

mathtans

Okay, so wasn't totally imagining it. That means 200 years ago was, like, shortly in our future.

Carrie Tupper

mathtans

We're in trouble.

Carrie Tupper

....Da

mathtans

Da da da daaaaa.

RebelVampire

tbf this is not the worst of post apocalypses

i mean there is some semblance of order

and cities

mathtans

There's still bureauocratic jerks too. That whole "you're blacklisted but hey, keep applying and giving us money" shakedown annoyed me. In the good way of clever writing because I can see it happening and they're jerks.

RebelVampire

yeah i really like in general political bs hasnt gone away. cause thats very true to life.

mathtans

Related, kudos on establishing that Logan guy in the council as a total waste of oxygen within, like, two panels (as he went off about girls asking for it). Get bent.

Carrie Tupper

Logan is basically every jerk I've ever known brought to life.

It's cathartic in a way.

RebelVampire

im gonna take a stab in the dark at orson's motivations. i think the cornerstones essentially got murdered in a mysterious raid that im sure no other high ranking family had anything to do with. and that for better or for worse, orson got blamed because someone always needs to be blamed. and orson blames himself but he also recognizes how the system is flawed. so he wants to change the power dynamics by changing hte food system or something. cause food does seem to be the controlling factor here.

mathtans

It's nice to have a clear villain character somewhere. The kind that's too moronic to actually take over the world though.

RebelVampire

maybe thats what logan wants you to think. that hes too dumb to do anything. when really he is the shadow puppet master

Carrie Tupper

Hmmm! All interesting ideas

mathtans

Rebel: That's a good theory. Maybe being the scapegoat also twisted his morals a bit, he figured I might as well do some of the shadier things like killing people.

Rebel: Logan could be a puppet, that's for sure. But not a master, unless the real master wants him to think so.

RebelVampire

you know who i dont trust? lionness heritage. if i had to pick anybody who ruined the cornerstones, itd be her.

Carrie Tupper

Oh? How come?

mathtans

Rebel: The fact that the world ended with "the Withering" implies to me that food is definitely a key element.

Carrie Tupper

Quite right, @mathtans

mathtans

Hm, don't think I've got to the lionness yet.

Carrie Tupper

She's a trip.

RebelVampire

because she seems smart enough to know how to politics and is so far the one most interested in changing the power structure. and just the way she offered the crop things in a backhanded blackmail way makes her rub me in all the wrong ways. like, she kind of gives me the same impression orson does. where shes doing good while also being shady af. but in her case her motives are way more self-interested, so the self-interested plus the shady are a dangerous combonation(edited)

Carrie Tupper

Makes sense.

RebelVampire

tbh i would not be surprised if she was orson's boss, but actually fooled orson into thinking she wanted to do good things for everyone.

mathtans

Oooh, interesting theory.

Carrie Tupper

She's not a person to trifle with

Constance will have to be careful.

RebelVampire

but i do like constance. i hope she and markesha meet and become the ultimate duo. the one who politics and the one who works in the shadows.

QUESTION 4. Besides the major plot points, there are quite a number of politics and world issues about. Who are the Outlanders, and why are they disliked? Assuming Markesha’s mother was an Outlander, how did she wind up with Markesha’s father? What do you think ultimately happened to Markesha’s mother? Do you think Markesha and her father will find out during the story? How might it affect them? Less personally tied to Markesha is what’s going on in Halo. Do you think Orson will get out of his captivity? If so, how will it come about? Will Lionness Wright take Cornerstone’s seat High House seat? What is Lionness’ Heritage interest in Lionness Wright taking it? At last, do you think there is a chance one of the Cornerstone’s lived?

Carrie Tupper

@mathtans I have to admit I hope you'll comment through the next bit of story. The team and I would very much enjoy seeing yours or anyone else's reactions in realtime

mathtans

(Is there more Kamikaze and Flare? )

Carrie Tupper

(It's coming I promise, but it'll be a bit!)

All very good questions you've posed @RebelVampire

RebelVampire

im hoping we get to learn more about the outlanders. cause i mean namewise, obviously they are ppl who live outside the city. but at the same time, they mention that yellow eyes are a trait. and you dont have a shared trait if youre just ppl outside the walls.

mathtans

I admit, I'm real bad with geography in real life. It's worse in fantasy novels and comics for me. I remember there were three gates. That's... kind of all I got.

Oh yeah, the eyes. Though not all Outlanders.

RebelVampire

i didnt study the geography that hard this time, admittedly.

maybe toshi met his wife via some writing work? like doing some journalistic investigation on the lives of outlanders

mathtans

Started looking at Episode 3. Clever way of having the storm info playing in the background. Reminds me of how Toshi was looking at the news to give us backstory in an earlier bit.

Carrie Tupper

The geography of the city is pretty basic, but for reference...

RebelVampire

oh thats nice they have a river

very smart

Carrie Tupper

For reference Markesha's mom = Cassie

mathtans

Markesha really likes jumping to conclusions, doesn't she. Also, selective memory.

RebelVampire

ok cassie. i knew shed been named but i couldnt remember it

Carrie Tupper

Hey many she just got kinda blown up give her a break xD

RebelVampire

to be fair markesha is i think 19? thats basically still a kid and that is kid-like behavior

Carrie Tupper

Yep, in the scene with Rio she said she turned 20 in a week.

Happy birthday~ Markesha

mathtans

Oh, I'm not faulting it. Just, perhaps especially as a teacher, I roll my eyes.

Carrie Tupper

One of the things I have to catch myself in a lot when reading anything is the memory of the character doesn't always match our own, especially if said character wasn't present at or had certain information communicated to them

mathtans

Also kind of impressive how every page has it's own title. That's attention to detail. (I do it, but that's only because they're all 4-panels.)

Carrie: Truth.

RebelVampire

maybe cassie was involved in some espionage. like maybe she married toshi just to have a cover so she could spy for outlanders. and then when her mission was done she left. or ya know, was viciously murdered. which i would be amazingly surprised if she was alive. i dont buy into the characters' hopes. i feel shes just been gone too long for it to have been anything else.

Carrie Tupper

lol, Alan and I beat our heads against the wall EVERY WEEK to make sure we haven't reused those titles. xD

mathtans

biab, little one fussing.

Carrie Tupper

Cassie's fate is at this point unknown to everyone, but I definitely know her fate and do my best to sprinkle it in

In fact there's a lot of things I sprinkle in through the series. Like the fact Julain shows up WAAAAAY before book 3.

RebelVampire

interesting

Carrie Tupper

https://i0.wp.com/kamikazeanimated.com/comic/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/pg_05.jpg?w=900

mathtans

Back. Yeah, I have a text file of titles. If I think of one I'm not sure of, I simply do a search.

RebelVampire

omg thats such a sneaky appearance too

mathtans

Cassie was actually a time traveller!

Carrie Tupper

hahaha xD

RebelVampire

but also makes me picture on one page somewhere theres a hidden newspaper article that readers "many year long cold case of murdered woman in alley still not solved! read the story on page 4!"

mathtans

Damn. Nice foreshadow.

Carrie Tupper

Mmmmmaaaybe

One of my goals when writing this is to leave little things for return readers to find and enjoy

that way when they re-read they notice new things, and the experience is fresh in a different way

RebelVampire

thats always a good thing to have. especially when it things like that where you smack yourself in the forehead cause you didnt realize a character had already appeared before

mathtans

Yeah, that's awesome.

RebelVampire

off topic to that but like http://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/kamikaze/pg-1-moving-day/ how can anybody not like link after looking at this page? look at those beautiful and jovial expressions minus the adorable pout

Carrie Tupper

Orson's little sneer at the tablet being waved in his face always makes me smile

mathtans

Interesting about a panic switch, didn't expect that arrest. They didn't even read his rights.

Carrie Tupper

...y'all have a really positive view of the Trinity justice system

mathtans

I live in hope. The romantic in me.

RebelVampire

yeah i think thats math there. im even surprised they didnt just gun them down and go "whoops they slipped into my bullets"

mika

oh we're talking about something that i do not know

mathtans

Markesha staying in one place for calibration? Yeah, good luck with that.

Rebel: Point.

Carrie Tupper

Hiya mika!

RebelVampire

this is the channel for our thursday book club chat. were talking about kamikaze http://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/ @mika

especially orson. i for sure orson would get shot cause man is there a lot of hate for orson.

so really insofar

their treatment has been better than i expected

Carrie Tupper

That's fair

mika

oooo

mathtans

Orson looks really different without his glasses.

Carrie Tupper

I guess ultimately the HSF knows if they do anything to hurt Orson they'llhave to answer to the High House LEOs and...well

mathtans

He's got some pull still.

Carrie Tupper

I'm not sure who I'd want to answer to less in that situation

Fun note: The shot where we see the other inmates via Orson's view is directly related to how blurry people look w/o my glasses on.

mathtans

Okay, one last theory... the canister at the start held some of the "Withering" disease in storage, that people were studying. They want it in order to create a vaccine/cure, but others are fine with the world the way it is.

I am very with you on that. My prescription is high.

mika

im going to try reading it! im always looking for more webcomics to snatch

Carrie Tupper

I hope you'll enjoy it @mika and feel free to comment on the pages! The team loves chatting with our readers

mathtans

(Made it to the end of Act 1 atleast.)

Carrie Tupper

haha xD

mika

oof im guilty of not commenting enough

Carrie Tupper

Act 2 is insanely long, so I'm sure it won't take any time for you

RebelVampire

i really loved that blurry shot. as a glasses wearer, that is a detail so many comics do not capture. that yeah, without glasses, ppl cant bloody see that well.

Carrie Tupper

Yep. I also needed to establish that for later shenanigans

mathtans

(I'm actually a pretty slow reader. I'm also bad at keeping up with things. Even my own websites.)

RebelVampire

and the cannister containing a copy of the disease is interesting, math. although sounds extremely dangerous. like...jackal did not treat that cannister with enough care if thats whats in it XD

mathtans

I wonder if we'll get much from Toshi's point of view then. Could save the artist some time.

Carrie Tupper

omg right?

I have thought about having a dream sequence for Toshi

where all wee see are the 'sounds' he hears

mathtans

Jackal seemed pretty sure of himself and not inclined to listen to advice though.

(I wonder if that was a code name, like "Rabbit"?)

Carrie Tupper

It was.

mathtans

Well played.

Carrie Tupper

If you look at the "list of affiliations" on Orson's file that we did, you may find him hidden in the list

mathtans

Good job all around, as far as final words go. The amount of worldbuilding behind the scenes is damn impressive, you get the impression that it's only the tip of the iceberg being shown.

RebelVampire

that would definitely be an interesting experience. to see the world as toshi sees it, metaphorically speaking.

mathtans

(I'm baffled about how it could have been goofy in the conception, it's pretty serious now, I think.)

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to lan Tupper, Havana Nguyen, and Carrie Tupper; Edited by Rachelle Udell and D'Andrea Seabrook, as well, for making Kamikaze. If you liked the comic, make sure to support everyone’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/

Kamikaze’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/teamkamikaze%3E

Kamikaze’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/KamikazeComic/

Carrie's Twitter: https://twitter.com/mermaidshells

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