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full-loup · 5 months

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Tales of Lipomancy: A Fit for a Beast

Another story/illustration combo, this one pretty long at about 15k words! Hope y'all enjoy!

If you prefer due to the length, here's an external link to a possibly easier to read format:

Chapter One

"I fucking hate mazes..." Cassius muttered as the group moved along.

His mother had told him stories of this place as a child, of the great Labyrinth of Ageláda. He always listened with apt fascination, yet his childhood was often plagued by reoccurring nightmares, of being trapped in a maze without end, constantly hunted by a monster he never fully saw, only catching glimpses of as he rushed around the next corner, and the next one, and the next one...

The other two either didn't hear or ignored him as they continued down the path, a wider avenue among the twisted corridors of the massive labyrinth. The badger grunted as he tripped over a broken column, nearly falling into one of the dark-leaved hedges that comprised almost the entirety of this awful place.

"Damn you!" He hissed, hopping on one leg as his sandaled toes throbbed with pain, "Damn this place! We're just walking in circles, aren't we?!"

"Relax," Marius Aurellius growled, the male's voice reverberating metallically through his enclosed helm, finely forged into the shape of a golden wolf, "I paid you wretches for a job, and you will not leave until your contracts are honored."

"Right, sorry Lord Aurellius..." The badger nodded, grinding his teeth as he followed along behind the warrior.

The third member of the group remained silent, but he could see her grinning out of the corner of his eye. He shivered as he thought of the raccoon. He wasn't fond of magic users in general, but something else rubbed him the wrong way about Bridget. He considered himself a mercenary, through and through, but he got the feeling she was doing this not for the coin, but for an excuse just to test out her horrifying talents. He hated sorcerers, but not nearly, he had recently decided, as much as he hated mazes.

"Gods, look at that!" The woman gasped as they rounded yet another corner, "Was that one of them, you think?"

Cassius felt his stomach turn as he caught sight of the gigantic skeleton lying in the middle of the path. The thing's bones were bleached white, but from the humongous horns that sprouted from the sides of its skull, he knew that it had to have indeed been 'one of them'.

"Minotaur..." He breathed.

"Looks that way, yes." Marius started, rattling off useless anatomical minutiae about the skeleton that would only confirm the obvious. Cassius was still in shock. All the stories his mother had told him when a child stated that the creatures were huge, but his imaginings still paled in comparison with the reality before him. The only time he'd ever seen evidence of such a beast of stature was in the library at Capitorvus where the skull of a full-grown dragon hung in its atrium, and even then it had been far enough away to seem in miniature...

"Did you hear me, hireling?"

Cassius pulled his gaze from the dead beast and looked to his employer, his helm's faceplate now raised, exposing the elf's delicate features, "Sure, yeah," The badger nodded.

"Then get moving! We've precious little time if we want to reach the center by nightfall..."

The soldier nodded again, grabbing the straps of his heavy pack and shifting it to sit more comfortably on his back, but lingered as his fellows continued onwards. He stared again, awestruck at bones, the skull alone towering over him at twice his height. He reached out, placing his palm flat against its forehead, trying to make the mythic beast seem real...

Thessala pulled her hand away from the skull as a chill ran down her spine. She felt as though she had just been touched by a ghost.

"Strange..."

The blond haired woman looked around the maze, but save the skeleton it was just as featureless as ever. This was hardly the first dead beast she had seen in this labyrinth, but it was by far the largest. There were a few strange ones, to be sure. A few had seemed strongly humanoid, possibly ogres, while others were more draconic, or even canine.

Most, however, had been unmistakably bovine.

"The Minotaurs of Ageláda..."

This bothered the cow woman greatly.

A part of her wondered what they must have looked like while alive, how similar they would have been to her. Were the legendary monsters somehow related to her kind? An evolutionary offshoot perhaps? Perhaps. She'd have to remember to ask one, if she ever found one that wasn't a pile of bleached bones.

She continued onwards, moving ever deeper into the maze. Or at least she was hoping she was heading deeper and not further out. There were no landmarks close by, at least none tall enough to be seen over the towering hedges, and her sense of direction had proven rather poor so far.

Or maybe it hadn't, it's not like there was any way to tell.

"Damn it..." Thessa growled, kicking a nearby column in anger. The stone pillar cracked on impact with her hoof, tiny fractures spiraling outwards from the point of contact. The bovine swore as the column collapsed, nearly crushing her. She had to be more careful around these ruins, apparently they were even older than they looked...

"This was a stupid idea, I'm never going to find the center... I'm never going to find anything in this dumb maze."

She might not even find the entrance again.

Thessa's heart began to pound as she looked at the various paths around her. They all looked the same.

"I have to get out of here, I can't take this..."

She moved forwards, not towards one of the twisting paths through the hedges, but towards one of the hedges themselves. She unsheathed her sword, prodding at the dark foliage of the plant wall, the color unlike any flora she had ever seen in nature. Almost pure, inky black.

Another chill ran down her spine as she raised her sword.

"I've tried everything else, might as well give this a shot..."

She brought the blade of her gladius down, cutting a path through the wall.

Another corridor of hedges lay beyond the portal she had made. She growled with frustration, moving onwards through the next barrier and cutting her way through that as well. Another featureless corridor of flora lay beyond that, and another beyond that, and another beyond that...

Thessa kept cutting, refusing to give up on her strategy, refusing to wander the endless maze like mindless cattle again. She hacked, she slashed, she raged her way through the labyrinth wall by wall, cut by cut.

Finally stopping as she reached a clearing, Thessa let out a sight of relief as she at last found something that wasn't a wall of leaves. The space before her was wide and open, taken up mainly by a large fountain, simple in its basic bowl-like shape, but elegant in the details carved into its surfaces. Many of these were worn down by age, however, much of the fountain covered by thick vines, the water having stopped flowing long ago, laying still in stagnant, algae-filled pools.

The sun was beginning to set now. She knew it wouldn't do her any good to be navigating the maze by night, not when she couldn't see. She cursed herself for not bringing any torches, wishing she had foreseen this predicament before she had gotten herself lost. Soon it would be night, and she might have to come back here if she couldn't find the center of the labyrinth soon. The clearing seemed a good enough place to stop and rest for the night as any, especially if it was potentially a reliable source of drinking water...

Thessa looked closely at the murky water, deciding it best not to risk drinking just yet despite how dehydrated she was from her exertions. Instead she drank from a flask she carried, the water sloshing about too much for her liking. If she didn't get out of here soon, she'd no longer have the luxury of choice when it came to where she could quench her thirst.

After resting a while at the fountain's edge, Thessa strolled across the clearing, beginning to hack her way through the hedges once again.

Emerging on the other side of the wall, the cowgirl stumbled, tripping over onto her stomach as she felt something grasp her ankle firmly. She grunted with exertion as she tried to pull herself free, but whatever she was snagged in would barely give.

"Come on..." She groaned, her flat, bovine teeth grinding, "Come! On!"

Suddenly she shrieked as she was yanked backwards into the clearing again. She clung tightly to her sword as she was dragged past the fountain, back the way she came, then sharply to the left, then the right. She shouted and cursed and kicked wildly as she felt her limbs snagging in the grasp of even more unseen snares, as though she were steadily being bound by ropes, until finally her mad, tumbling ride through the maze began to slow. Her surroundings became darker before Thessa realized she was being pulled down into a cave somewhere, the air cold and wet.

Her movement slowed to a halt completely now, the cowgirl thankful for that at least. The rough ride through the hedgemaze had left her battered, her leather armor torn and beaten in places, leaves and twigs sticking from her hair and the gaps in her clothing. Her pelt had fared little better, the blond fur stained with dirt and mud and even blood from the cuts and scrapes she had acquired while being dragged through the hedges and over the ground. Panting heavily, the cow was lifted up by whatever it was holding her, limbs all locked in place by the trap's grip, pulled spread-eagle as she was suspended in the middle of the cavern's maw.

Slowly, a large, purple plant pod loomed out of the darkness that filled the cave, the pod opening into a gigantic, beautiful flower. At that moment, Thessa realized that she was bound not by ropes, but the seemingly innocuous vines she had passed over in the clearing, all of them leading to this floral abomination. The tied-up cowgirl began to shout and twist in the creature's grasp.

"Let me go, monster!" She growled, spitting at the center of the flower as it drew closer, one of the several, thicker tentacles that surrounded the insides of the bulb beginning to snake through the air towards her body. The plant ignored her spittle, barely even phased as the tendril began to prod at her, the thick end of the stamen jabbing at the woman's belly, then up at her face. Thessa tugged firmly at her sword arm, but the plant responded harshly, the vine constricting her wrist squeezing painfully tight, causing the bovine warrior to both drop her sword and howl in agony.

As the woman's weapon clanged against the cavern floor, the tendril shot into her open mouth, making Thessa gag as it barreled its way down her throat. She groaned loudly in distress, her shouts muffled by the vine filling her maw as she struggled harder against the vines. Thankfully it didn't take long for her gag reflex to settle, her throat growing used to the vine lodged inside of it, Thessa still able to breath easily enough. Just as her throat was becoming comfortable however, panic filled her once more as she began to feel a new sensation growing within her stomach, a cozy warmth as though she were being filled with hot soup. Desperate, the cowgirl tried to bite into the tube in her mouth, managing to send a tremor through the strange plant, but also causing the vines binding her to tighten viciously.

Thessa sighed as the sensation continued to fill her belly, the feeling soothing despite the situation she found herself in. She'd been stuck in the maze for so long and was so exhausted it actually felt nice to have a satisfying, if unorthodox meal, though as her leather cuirass tightened around her abdomen, she wondered how long it would be before her guts burst from the pressure. There were worse ways to go, she supposed. She couldn't really think of any at the moment, but at least the liquid steadily filling her belly felt more comfortable than not. Slowly, cautiously, the captive bovine drifted off to sleep, completely, peacefully, resigned to her fate. Chapter Two

"LET ME GO YOU FUCKING WEED!" Cassius screamed.

Marius was knee deep in vines, desperately hacking away at them as they kept him from the plant's core. Cassius continued to writhe, muscles bulging despite the thickset badger barely loosening his captor's grip.

"Stop shouting, you fool! I'm almost there!" The elf spat, roaring in frustration as he found his own limbs quickly ensnared in the malevolent plant's grasp. Try as he might, there were far too many of the vines to cut a clear path through, and the warrior's heavy plate armor did little for his stamina, even without the things tangling him up.

Cassius groaned in dismay as the plant's flower opened up, blooming in an explosion of color that was somehow both sickening and breathtaking. Before long, the thing was shifting closer out of the gloom, the inner tendrils around the flower's face beginning to poke and prod at his body.

"Oh gods, oh gods!" Cassius cried as one of the tendrils began to jab at his face, the badger squeezing his eyes shut tight, "Please don't eat me, anything but that, anything bu-MMPHH!"

Bridget was still towards the mouth of the cave, attempting to scorch the vines away from Marius with her sorcery, when she saw the plant plunge its feeder tube down Cassius's throat. The raccoon didn't wait long, attempting to get the bulb of the plant within her sights and, by extension, her magic, but couldn't see past the badger's ensnared body. She huffed in frustration, biting her lip as she debated on what to do next. Deciding it was worth the risk, she changed tactics, focusing instead not on the vines attacking Marius but the ones binding Cassius instead.

The vines burned, but much slower than Bridget had hoped. A strange, guttural noise filled the cave, a shriek unlike any the three had ever heard, before it was soon joined by the muffled cries of Cassius. Bridget wasn't sure what was happening until she heard a loud crack above the clamor, then began to focus her mind, willing the flames to move down the vines towards where she thought the plant's core was, whether she could see it or not.

Apparently she had been successful, as soon after every last vine twitched and recoiled, retracting back defensively towards the monster's main body as Cassius was dropped unceremoniously to the cavern floor. Bridget's lips curled into a snarl as she glared at the burning plant, the flames reflected in her eyes, but Marius grabbed her shoulder firmly as he and Cassius rushed past her, breaking her concentration.

"Move, now!"

Begrudgingly, the sorceress broke off, tailing behind the two men as they fled the cave.

Once they were a safe distance away, the mercenaries and their employer regrouped, the badger clutching his right wrist and wincing. His paw hung at a strange, unusual angle from his arm, the sight of it almost sickening Bridget as she came close and held it gently in her grasp.

"Hold still." She commanded him, the soldier almost flinching away from her as she touched him, yet she paid his reaction little mind. As she held his paw steady, a green light shimmered from beneath her own hands, shining from between her fingers as loud crunching sounds filled the air. Cassius barked out in pain, but soon his wrist was back to normal, the male rubbing it tenderly as Bridget let go.

"Next time, try not to stop and smell the flowers..." She said as she examined the wrist before glancing up at him, smiling.

"Thanks..." Cassius said before looking down at his stomach, patting at it where it bulged under his leather armor, "Though I think I would have been fine if it stopped somewhere between the smelling and the tasting."

The raccoon laughed and slapped the stuffed badger on the back roughly, "You'll work it off, believe me! Lost a fight with a slime once. Was months before I could walk again without jiggling everywhere, you got off easy!"

The soldier smiled, trying to picture it as Bridget walked off. Judging by the woman's worn and ragged robes, he was sure she could have used the extra insulation at the time. He hoped this job went well for the two of them at least, she deserved better than the life of a hedge mage.

"Enough prattle! The both of you have wasted enough of our time, wouldn't you agree? We need to get moving now."

When it came to the party's third member though, Cassius wasn't feeling so thankful.

"Aurellius..." Cassius growled under his breath as he turned to face the elf.

Raising his lupine visor again, the warrior's blue eyes glared daggers at the badger, likely incensed by something completely stupid yet again, "Lord Aurellius, filth! You will address your betters as such, especially when you are graced by their presence..."

The soldier snarled as he stood before the elf, towering over him despite Aurellius's taller than average stature. Cassius may be considered the muscle in his line of work, but that didn't mean he was to be treated like some dumb tool, "And just how were you gracing us back in the cave, my liege? Doing some gardening with that fancy sword of yours?"

Shame flashed across the elf's face for the briefest of moments before his arrogance stamped it under heel, "You wouldn't need rescuing like some schoolchild had you not been caught in the first place, you cretin! Now get in line before I decided to cut the both of you loose and finish this job myself."

Cassius huffed, but backed down, his employer lowering his visor again as he turned and continued walking through the maze. The badger and the raccoon followed him, though by Bridget's face, Cassius could tell she was growing tired of this buffoon too.

"The dregs of society both of you..." Marius grumbled under his breath, his jab made all the more awkward by the distortion as it was filtered through his helmet.

"Beat on me all you want, Lord Aurellius, but if it wasn't for Bridget we'd be dead."

"The untrained sorceress? Bah! A witch deserves no respect, deserves little more, in fact, than to be thrown on the pyre! As for you, mongrel, when we're through with this job, all of us will be set for life. I'm sure you'll be able to pay off your bar tab then and finally achieve your life's dream of drinking yourself to an early grave." The elf sneered.

Hot anger flared up within Cassius at that, but he bit his tongue. Deep down he knew the elf was no better, a fallen noble cast out by the highest in the Empire, desperate to prove his worth to the elite once more. Before his fall from grace, he might have had an entire legion at his command. Now all he had was a single washed up legionnaire and a witch of the wilds, the only ones desperate enough to do his bidding.

But even they had their limits.

He glanced at Bridget again once Aurellius's tirade was through, and she gave the badger a knowing grin. Gold could buy loyalty in their line of work, but exploitation and abuse could buy nothing more than a knife in the back. The fact that they hadn't yet run into a living minotaur yet after all this time had seemed like luck to the badger, even more so considering he doubted a group this divided could take one down. If there was anything he had confidence though, it was in Bridget's capabilities as a sorceress, and the special tools he carried in his pack...

"By the gods..." Bridget suddenly gasped as she looked ahead once more.

"Do you see it!" Aurellius laughed, the noise tinny and inhuman, "Just over the hedge there!"

As the trio were drawn further and further from the cave, nobody was there to witness the shadow that now loomed before its mouth, nor to hear the unearthly shrieks of its sole inhabitant as it was torn out by the roots.

Thessa was sure she would be dead by now.

She almost wished she was.

Only the mountain gave her hope...

She glanced once more at the peak towering above the hedges. She couldn't be sure how far it was, but she knew where to go now, she knew it was getting closer. Most importantly of all though, her path was now clear.

The cow had awoken in a stupor, her mind foggy and clouded. She wasn't sure how long she had slept there on the cavern floor, but she knew immediately that she was now free of the plant's clutches. Stumbling clumsily to her hooves after a tremendous effort, she lumbered out the mouth of the cave and back into the winding labyrinth around it.

Thessa remembered thinking last night that she could barely imagine a worse way to die than to be engorged to bursting, like a ripe berry too full of juices. Now she was wishing that maybe she had instead, feeling it would be a much better demise than the slow one that now awaited her. Upon waking from her slumber, Thessa had immediately discovered her stomach had swollen immensely, the comforting warmth of the sap the flower had been filling her with having turned to twisting knives of pain in her over-distended stomach in the morning. The growth had been so extreme that her leather cuirass has actually burst its straps, her now boulder-sized gut bulging freakishly before her as though she were many months pregnant with a great many calves. Worse yet, the rest of her armor had felt much tighter as well around her body, and it was easy to see why. As she slept, the foul liquid the plant had filled her with was digested by her body, metabolizing with preternatural speed and being stored on her once athletic frame as heavy, sagging fat.

"This isn't fair..." She moaned as she clutched her still painfully swollen belly tightly, the orb of flesh bouncing with every slow, laborious step she took. The bovine was forced into an awkward waddle now, her stomach bulging massively before and beneath her, forcing her thighs to straddle it as she made her way ponderously through the labyrinth, "This isn't... f-fair..."

The vines had left her alone as she left the cave, their job now done. They didn't even bother her when she found the clearing again, letting her fall heavily onto her now cushioned buttocks as she rested by the fountain's side. All she could do was sob for the next hour, tears staining her plump cheeks as the exhausted, overstuffed cow cried herself to sleep once again.

Another day had passed, slumber gripping the heavy bovine like quicksand, the once healthy warrior having to struggle just to pull herself from her sleep. As the morning sun baked her bare belly, she gasped thickly, shock filling her bloated belly with cool dread.

Through the night, the belt that held her defensive skirt of pteruges had burst off of her, succumbing to the pressure of her swelling hips. Other straps, too, had failed as her body had piled thickly with blubber, her force-fed meal still wreaking destruction upon her body. Through the night, Thessa must have gained at least fifty pounds of pure fat, and her belly didn't feel the least bit emptied of that wretched, heavy fluid...

"Oh no..." She moaned, tears welling in her eyes once more, "This can't... this can't be happening..."

Thessa knew that as the days passed, her body would continue to fatten. More and more she would become burdened by her new form, more and more easily would she tire as she weakened and softened with time. As the days she would waste wandering aimlessly through the maze came to pass, she would grow slower and slower, making less progress with each new day. Moving would become more of a struggle as the cruelly massive stores of sap within her digested, until finally, at long last, she would be pinned to the ground by her own hideous bulk. Then she would truly find out if the liquid within her was as endless as she feared, her body smothered by its own weight. If that wasn't the case, then of course the sap would one day run out instead and Thessa would die, fatter than anyone she had ever known, by starving to death.

What a disgusting joke that would be.

Thessa began to cry again, sobbing until tears wouldn't come.

As she looked up, she saw something that sent a thrill of surprise through her body. At first, she had thought it was simply one of the portals she had hewn through the hedges before, but this one was much to large and, as she looked around, on a completely different wall, facing a completely different direction. Sighing, Thessa prepared herself for the now burdensome task of standing, and wobbled herself onto her hooves.

As she approached the hole in the foliage, another one slowly began to open up through the wall beyond that. Her curiosity now piqued, she waddled through and approached the new gap, only to see another appear beyond that one. The cow's belly bounced as she looked around, confused. Was this some kind of trap? The tactic seemed much too clever for the plant creature she'd encountered and besides that, she had little left to lose anymore anyways. Whatever was happening here, she might as well see it through to the end.

Without a second thought, Thessa began to journey through the maze again, this time following the path that opened up before her, walking through the walls instead of between them.

Days would pass, Thessa growing exhausted again and again. Before she was caught by the flower, she might have been able to make the journey within a matter of hours. Now, she could barely walk a mile without feeling like she would die. Every time she stopped to rest, she knew that she would wake up heavier and dreaded it, but she had nowhere else to go. Despite this, she was about ready to give up, convinced that the maze itself was trying to kill her with sheer exhaustion, when she saw it.

The mountain.

Visible on approach to the island, but hidden from sight once inside the outskirts of the labyrinth, the peak of Mount Tavros was the only real landmark one could find within the maze. Unfortunately the only way to see it was to get close enough, and few who dared enter ever did.

In spite of the weight that was piling onto her, that threatened to pull her to the ground, Thessa felt hope rising inside of her. Hope that filled her heart, that lifted her to her feet every morning, that drew her inevitably to the peak at the island's center. She knew she could get there now, it was only a race against time. If only she could reach that peak, then maybe she could find what she sought. Maybe they could save her life...

With her goal now before her, Thessa carried on. Even as the fat sagged from her body in rolls of meaty flab, even as her thighs became swallowed by thick blubber that caused them to chafe with every waddling step, she forged onwards. Despite her energy draining more with every dawn, or perhaps because of it, she pushed herself harder, unable to allow herself to be defeated now that she knew she had even the slightest chance. She would not be brought down before she found her answers.

Drawing closer to the mountain, so much so that its crags and cliffs filled her vision, another landmark bagan to come into view as well over the hedge walls. Thessa could see little of it beyond the highest parapets until she stood before it and, in doing so, she realized she had finally reached her goal.

There she stood now, at the center of the maze, the hedge walls finally opening up, parting to form a vast circle that enclosed Mount Tavros and the space around it. Standing before her, beautiful and majestic, loomed a castle. Thessa never would have expected to find such a thing here, especially not one that was so marvelous, so breathtakingly wondrous. Alabaster and marble colluded to form towers and balustrades that looked as though they were sculpted from clouds, golden ornamentation along the facade and over the ramparts making it seem a citadel fit for the gods themselves.

Thessa was frozen now, at a loss for what action to take next. She looked at the long, sprawling bridge that lead from the cliff she now stood on, over a massive, yawning chasm and to the castle's very gates. She was unsure if she should proceed. Did someone, something still dwell within those magnificent towers? Would she be trespassing once she crossed the castle's threshold, and if so, what resistance would she meet once inside?

These questions were meaningless, her hesitation a waste of precious time. Whether the castle was empty or filled to the brim with monsters or not, her entry into it was inevitable now, the only option she had left other than to meet a humiliating and obscene doom. The bovine warrior took a deep breath, her massively swollen and now bare breasts rising before her face as she did so, and reached for her sword...

Only to remember that it was gone, left way back on the cavern floor where her struggles had truly started within the maze. She still had her shield, and what few scraps of her leather armor that still clung to her shoulders and arms, but beyond that she was naked and defenseless.

So be it, she decided. If she were to find a fight before her, she would most assuredly be slain with little effort now, but it was better than waiting here.

Steeling herself, Thessa began to march across the bridge. Her body had grown enormously since she had escaped the cave, and by now she must weigh almost as much as a horse, but she couldn't let that stop her. Already she was worn out from the distance she had covered that day, and her breathing became strained. Already she felt exhaustion dragging her down into its clutches. She knew with absolute certainty that she couldn't give in, that were she to rest just one more time she would awaken immobilized, unable to stand back up. Only a day ago, her bloated stomach had grown enough to reach the ground, and now Thessa had to hold its sagging mass in her paws just to be able to move forwards. Within a day or two, her buttocks would surely join it, their exposed, titanic swell bouncing behind her with every step, the dimpled cheeks wobbling and rippling like gelatin as they crashed into one another. Her cascade of backrolls looked like a mountain unto itself, mirroring the peak that filled the horizon in front of Thessa and her breasts rose and fell before her with each strained breath, so filled with fat that they retained some of their perkiness, but so heavy that they sagged gravidly to the sides of her stomach's bulk. Her blubbery thighs crushed against one another as she shifted her legs forwards and back and her arms sagged with girthy flab, making it difficult for her to even hold her stomach in her grasp, despite its sheer size.

Her body, when it was fit and lean, was once one of her greatest assets as an adventurer. Now, it conspired against her at every turn. The bridge beneath her was built of solid rock and stone, but even that trembled slightly from her girth now, loose mortar spilling from its stonework underneath as the hooves on its surface and the burden they carried stomped across its span. Thessa's lungs were burning with each breath, her heart pounding and fluttering deep beneath her chest fat. Sweat soaked her fur now, weighing her down even more as it dripped from her corpulent body to the stones below, the setting sun that baked her in its heat doing little for her stamina, but she knew she couldn't stop. She already felt even fatter than when she had set out across the bridge, and if she were to rest, even for a moment, on her backside, she knew she would never get back up. If she couldn't reach the castle, then wherever she chose to sat would be where her story would come to an end.

That wouldn't happen.

Twenty paces from the door now. Thessa gasped thickly, spittle spilling past her plump lips as she gazed up at it. She was so close now, but her entire body burned, every muscle in agony, every nerve crying out. She feared she would collapse, that her knees would simply buckle under the pressure; that her heart, now thundering painfully in her chest, would explode at any moment. She couldn't stop. She wouldn't. Were she to die of exertion, then at the very least she'd have foiled the fate that abominable plant had intended for her. Just a few more steps, so very close to her goal...

She pushed heavily against the golden doors to the citadel, barely even taking in the reliefs upon their surface that depicted millennial of magic and history. To her astonishment, they parted, unlocked, nearly toppling the obese cow forwards onto her gut. She gasped and wheezed as she looked around the vast foyer before her, thankful for the shade, keeping her sweat-soaked body cool and giving her relief. She had made it... but now what?

The foyer was empty, its furniture and decoration covered with dust, strangled in cobwebs. She looked around the large room, desperate to find answers, to find her salvation, but only saw more paths. The sprawling staircase in front of her, the many paths leading off to her left, to her right. Corridors and corridors. Room after room. She had traded one maze for another.

"Puhhh... Pleeeease....!" She gasped heavily, her voice heavy, deepened by her blubber, reflecting the sheer mass she had gained since her journey began, "Some... S-Somebody! Anybody... I need... help..."

Nobody answered. Thessa was wheezing. Her heart was pounding with both exhaustion and panic now.

"Wuhhhh... where are... you?!" She bellowed thickly, rasping breaths burning through her lungs as she stumbled clumsily about in a circle, her entire body quaking in fear and dismay as the room spun around her, "Please! I came... I came so far! Phaedre! Where are... where..."

As darkness began to fill her vision, the cow's mind raced with fearful thoughts.

She was going to die here, not the heroic warrior she had so longed so be ever since she was young, but as a helpless pile of lard. She wondered what her family and friends would think of her if they somehow could see her like this, what her hero would think of her were she actually here... She would look like a slob, a glutton, a whale.

Shame was the last thing she felt before her vision faded, and she fell heavily to the cold, stone floor.

"You are so very brave, aren't you?"

"Phay... Phaedre..!" Thessa gasped.

The warrior's brown eyes shot open at the sound of the voice. She felt the soft mattress and pillows under her, the cool blankets that covered her body, and thought at first that she was home again. She hoped that the events of the past week or so had only been a dream, but knew that it wasn't by the size of the bed; by the size of herself.

Dread balled up in her gargantuan gut. In a fit of panic, she struggled to sit up, her fat-swaddled arms and legs flailing uselessly besides the rolls of fat that was now her torso. She wheezed heavily from the momentary exertion, already drained. She was still alive, but now she was helpless. This was it, this was her end.

"Please..." She huffed now to the voice, "Please, help me..."

A figure came into her view, cloaked, a porcelain mask beneath the cowl. A faux human face gazed down at her, its shining white features gilded and threaded with gold. She glanced at the sword sheathed at the side of his azure robes. Thessa didn't take long to realize that this stranger was not the person she had expected to find here at the labyrinth's center. Whoever this was was armed and disguised, and that should have unsettled her, but Thessa was calm as she stared up at the figure. There was little he could do to hurt her further now.

"Just do what you... what you must..." She said, still panting heavily as she caught her breath, gulping and puffing, "Whether you kill me now... or tend to my needs as I... as I lie here, it matters not... I care not... There is no hope for me... I was foolish to think there would be..."

"Such a dismal outlook, you must surely realize..." The man said from behind his mask. He held a small bowl in his hands, which he scooped into a basin of fresh water at the side of the bed, "Many would share such a viewpoint sadly. That's the way the world has always been. Nobody wants to see the positives in life."

Thessa's brow furrowed, dimples forming in her soft cheeks as she frowned, "Positives... P-Positives..?" She grunted, panting now not out of fatigue, but anger, "Look at me! Do you even know... huff... huuhh... know what's happened... what's happening to my..."

The man held a finger to sculpted lips, then brought the bowl to the cow's mouth. She felt then, suddenly, just how parched she was, draining the bowl quickly and eagerly. He would be her caretaker then, not her executioner. What a shame.

"I am well aware, even more than you are," He said with the calm of certainty, "Even in such a state as you are now, there is more good than bad."

Thessa clenched her sausage fingers, trying to suppress the rage that was growing inside her, though she was unable to keep her body from shaking gently, the tremble creeping its way into her voice, "You don't know. You've never had this happen to you, that much I can guess..." She sighed, closing her eyes as tears came to them once more, "You don't know how it feels."

The man paused as he was filling the bowl again, turning his expressionless face towards her, "You are right, I do not know that. What I do know is that, even though your affliction will inevitably kill you, yes, you still did not surrender to it. You still fought, you still made your way here and suffered as you did, even though you did not know what lay in store. Not many make it through the maze, and even though I guided you here, not many would have survived what you did." He remained silent as he brought the bowl again to Thessa's lips, and though she was still angry, she still drank, "You are so very brave, Thessala, and you now know that about yourself."

"I... I know..." She started, her lips trembling as she held her tongue. She wanted to argue against him, to say she had always known this, but did she? Did she ever actually accept it until right now? Her eyes were still squeezed firmly shut, but nothing could stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, "How did you... did you know my name?"

The man didn't answer for some time. Once more, he refilled the bowl for Thessa and let her drink, but afterwards set it aside and moved away from her bed. When he at last responded, his voice echoed from across the chamber, "Magic is a pathway to abilities many would deem... unimaginable..."

Thessa tried to shift her body on its side, but it wasn't long before she found that to be impossible now. Instead she simply turned her head, eyes widening at what she saw. The bedroom was much larger than she had expected, opening up into a larger chamber that seemed to serve as a laboratory or workshop of some sort. The space was filled with equipment, workbenches, bookshelves and storage crates. Devices and specimens, many so exotic that Thessa couldn't even identify, let alone describe, littered tables and hung from the ceiling on wire. Greatest among these that she could see was the skull of yet another minotaur set against the back wall, though this one was even larger than any she had come across within the labyrinth. The cloaked figure was at one of these strange devices, something that looked to be a mix between a shelf and a column.

"So what... you... you read my mind?" Thessa huffed.

"In a way. The technique is very obscure and many such esoteric spells are both powerful and difficult for even someone as experienced as I to fully understand," As he talked, the man was operating small dials set into the shelf-device, and the glass surrounding it opened up, turning away to reveal many vials and bottles shrouded by a cool mist that leaked from within the mechanism. All of the containers seemed to hold the same sort of liquid, a red substance that glowed with a soft luminescence, "Forgive me, I haven't yet introduced myself have I? My name is Zayn Var'Navosh."

Thessa paused for a moment, stunned, "The... The great wizard Var'Navosh? Descended from the royalty of Luxumentum to the north?" The Bastard Bloodline, she thought to herself. She wouldn't dare say so, but his line was said to be cursed, descended from gods, but the wrong sort of gods. Still, he was known as one of the most powerful sorcerers to ever walk mortal lands. If there were any alive who could help her, he was one of her best bets, "Then surely, you could... you could cure me, couldn't you? There must be a... a spell, some magic that could... could..."

As she pleaded, Zayne took one of the smaller vials from the mechanism, setting it down on the table next to him. He turned to face her now, pulling back his cowl and removing his mask, exposing his real face to her. He stared at her with bright green eyes, dark strands of unkempt hair framing the human's features, "I'm sorry," He told her, glancing away from the woman, "You cannot be cured... But that doesn't mean you have to die."

The massively fat warrior let out a shuddering sigh, closing her eyes again as the wizard moved back to her side. He carried the vial now, and Thessa fought back her sorrow to look at it, as the man spoke, "You know of my lineage, then surely you know the darkness that taints it..." He began, "The creature that did this to you was a gift to me by a... cousin of mine, one who is much less human. A twisted form of one of her creations, specifically devised to kill a demigod. Were it not for the tainted sap of this creature then all we would need to cure you would be nothing more than lipomancy, but this sap infuses every ounce of fat on you now."

"B-But that still doesn't... doesn't make sense..." Thessa panted, trying to remain calm, "How did I get so big, so heavy? Only from just a... a belly full of that stuff... the gain shouldn't be possible..."

The man nodded and smiled, "Astute of you to take notice, but like many things involving my more extended family, the rules of our reality don't always apply. These pretender gods, or the Eldritch Aristocracy as you might know them, hail from a reality very far removed from our own. The caloric density of this sap is much greater than its mere mass would suggest, and while it is not limitless, you will not survive by the time all of it digests. Even now, your body is already failing from its sheer size. As I said before, the fact that you were even able to make it here is a testament to who you are..."

"Then get it out of me!" Thessa begged, "If the sap is what's killing me, then surely you can..."

Zayne held up his hand, shaking his head, "Removing it without killing you would simply be impossible. As I said, it has infused itself with your very body from the moment it began to digest. There is only one way to save you but... You can never be, at least physically, who you were before..."

Thessa feared that he meant she would be stuck this way for the rest of her life, bound to this bed, in this room, by her corpulent body. Before she could state as much, Zayne held up the glowing vial and began to explain.

"The maze that surrounds us is protection. Necessary to safeguard many of the things I have collected here, things that are desired by the greedy, by the cruel. This vial of dragon's blood is one such thing," He said, holding it to the candle light. The vial glowed brighter, its contents seeming to twist and blend both definitions of the term 'plasma'. As the light refracted through the blood, it turned Zayne's brown skin gold, his azure robes emerald, "It will stop the sap from killing you, it can turn the weakness afflicting you into strength, but it will also change you forever... in very drastic ways."

The cow's eyes flicked to the skull within the wizard's workshop. She understood now, understood much more than she wanted to, perhaps.

"Phaedre..."

The wizard's face darkened. He looked away from her.

"Ever since I was a girl, I looked up to a hero. Another cow woman. Phaedre Lytara. She disappeared centuries ago, but after years of searching, I found out she had come here to Ageláda... Then after more searching, I finally found this place," She looked at the wizard completely now, but he would not meet her eyes, "She came here, didn't she? She reached the center of the maze after all. There was no way somebody like her couldn't have. She'd never have failed her quest, and she never did."

"Yes," He said.

"Zayne Var'Navosh, great wizard," She continued, "Did you turn my hero into a monster?"

He wouldn't say anything.

Thessa held her face in her chubby paw, grimacing as she did. All this time she had hoped to find her, find out what happened to the woman who had inspired her. She wasn't a fool, she had assumed she had died long ago. She never would have thought she would have died as a beast, as one of the monsters that heroes like her were supposed to fight.

"Why?"

"Because..." He said, facing her at last, "She understood what needed to be done. Understood what was necessary. She... the others, they all protected this place just as much as the labyrinth I made, if not more so."

"She was a hero! My hero!" Thessa growled, "She was strong enough to protect this place without you twisting her into that thing!"

Zayne stepped away from her, throwing out his arms as he strode towards Phaedre's skull, "And how has that changed? She was strong, yes! But she always wanted to be stronger..." He said, looking up at the former cow woman's remains, "And I gave that to her, she chose it."

"She chose to be a minotaur, a mindless animal..?"

"Not mindless..." Zayne replied, shaking his head, "They are not as the fables paint them. Ruled by instinct like a beast, but it can be controlled. She controlled it. She had the might she always wanted and she used it to defend this place, to defend me, and maybe even more than that... When my cousin came to kill me herself, when she tainted this island, Phaedre gave her life to fight her. She sacrificed herself and stopped a demigod. Who among mortals can claim that?"

Thessa fought back her anger again as she listened to the sorcerer and sighed. Maybe he was lying to her, but she could see little reason for that beyond her own desires to see him as a villain, "So she died a hero after all..."

"She did..." Zayne said, placing his hand upon the skull. He stayed like that for a while, and when he turned to face her, he couldn't hide the tears, "You don't have to take the dragon's blood yourself. I'm not forcing you to make that choice. But I wasn't lying about your options. Either die as what you are, or live as something else. Whichever you choose to do, you will still be you inside. Whichever choice you make, it will not be the wrong one."

Thessa took a deep breath, then chose.

Chapter Three

The sun shone down on the clearing, a beast hunched over the fountain at its center. The creature chewed at bits of fleshy plant matter it held in its giant hands like cud, savoring the taste. It had drained the floral abomination dry, but still that wasn't enough. There was nothing left of it now, beyond shriveled vines and what now filled the minotaur's belly.

She snorted as she licked her lips, then dunked her snout into the stagnant waters of the fountain, drinking thirstily from the pool, washing down the vile plant's taste.

Someone was shouting nearby, the same voices that had brought her to the cave. She raised her head and snorted, water cascading past her lips and through the fur of her face, draining into the pool below as she looked around.

She was not cruel, but she had her duty. She would give them a choice.

"What makes you so sure?!" Cassius demanded.

If the Isle of Ageláda was legend for its maze and the monsters that guarded it, then Mount Tavros was known far and wide as the prize at its center. Beyond that, nobody knew what exactly the maze defended, nor the purpose of its construction at all, but there were plenty of rumors. Vast wealth, the secret of immortality, a wizard that could grant wishes. There was no proof of any, of course, no proof that anyone had even reached the center, or lived if they had to tell the tale.

"There has to be something of value, you churlish oaf!" Marius shouted back, extending his arm to gesture at the walls around them, "Why else would anyone fabricate... this!"

"To lure people in, trap them, you never thought of that golden boy?" The badger sneered.

Bridget waved her hands frantically in the air, shushing them as she did, "Quiet! Both of you! Listen, do you hear that?"

They all went quiet, listening to the rumbling that had begun to fill the air.

The noise grew closer, louder, and soon they could feel it. Not long after that, they could even smell it, a scent not unlike a stable of horses or a barn of cattle, mixed with a wild, musky stench.

All three of them waited as the giant rounded the corner before them, all of them stiller than statues.

They stood their ground, though Cassius found himself trembling in place now, his heart pounding as he looked up at the monster. The minotaur was a colossus, towering over them, larger even than the dead one they had found. It... no, not it... she... looked down at them, thick blond hair covering her face, brown eyes peering between the matted strands. The minotaur's body was not as Cassius had expected, coated with a thick layer of fat that strained against an outfit cobbled together with scraps of metal and leather and rope. Despite this, it was clear to anyone that saw her that she was sturdily built, the muscles beneath the softness strong enough to crush stone in her bare hands, strong enough to level entire buildings with the massive club she rested on her shoulder.

The blond furred beast looked down at them with an unmistakable expression of disdain upon her face, like anyone of normal stature might gaze at a mouse or a spider.

"Leave..." She grumbled as softly as she could, her voice sending vibrations through the ground, through Cassius's teeth.

All of them were shaking visibly now. All of them except for that idiot, Marius.

"Oh, I think not!" He laughed, twisting his torso as he did to face his fellows, "We came here to reach the end, and that's just what we'll do, so let me put this into terminology even a dumb brute like you will follow: Let us pass or taste my blade."

The minotaur snorted at that, mist spraying from her nostrils before she stepped closer, a single step that brought her directly before them all. Cassius wanted desperately to listen to the beast and turn tail, but it looked like they were committed to a fight now, and they had a plan for this at least. Reaching into his pack, the badger pulled forth a grappling hook and heavy chain, looking to Bridget who nodded to him as she looked back.

"Leave..." The monster grunted, louder now, loud enough for Cassius to feel in his bones, "Or die."

"Then blood shall be spilt, now!" Marius cried.

Immediately, Bridget raised her paws to the sky, the ruined columns and pillars about them rumbling. The minotaur looked around at the stones, confused, until dust and loose rock began to fall onto her shoulders. She looked up, eyes wide as a sculpted arch above her fell, but it was too late for the cumbersome monster to move out of the way. The heavy stone impacted against her back and head, sending the massive giant tumbling to the ground before her, the very earth quaking as she hit.

"Now, now, now!"

As one, the two mercenaries besides the elf moved. The grappling hook soared through the air as Cassius hurled it, arcing over the minotaur's shoulder while Bridget raised her hands in the air again. As though guided by invisible hands, the hook wrapped about the minotaur's shoulder and arm, binding it firmly before the hook was sent plunging into the ground. Once deep enough, a specialized device within the grapple opened, anchoring it firmly into the earth even as another was hurled at the behemoth. The creature tried to dodge but was already chained in place, grunting as she met resistance where her arm was bound, unable to resist as her left became ensnared as well.

"NO!" The creature bellowed, her voice causing the rest of the standing ruins about them to come crumbling to the ground.

Already trapped, the minotaur could do nothing as more hooks were thrown, all of them guided by Bridget's sorcery, all of them firmly anchored in place. When all was done, the minotaur was completely entangled in the chains, brought to kneel before the trio, her back hunched, enormous palms flat against the earth in front of her. She wasn't getting back up anytime soon.

Marius chuckled at his mercenaries' handiwork, strutting around the beast triumphantly as he unsheathed his sword, "My, my, what a prize we have here!" He laughed, slamming the blunt end of his blade against one of the chains, the metal rattling, the beast roaring, "I'm sure the scholars at Capitorvus would love to rip you apart! Or maybe the Emperor himself would take you for his menagerie? If I recall, he already had a male, but I'm sure the poor thing could use some company, don't you think?" He jeered, lifting the minotaur's massive chin with the tip of his blade.

The creature's muscles bulged beneath her fat as she struggled, snorting frantically, grunting and bellowing in fury. Cassius cringed as he looked at the captured monster, seeing for a moment not a beast, but a woman bound by chains. He saw a strange, feral beauty of the behemoth, the sentience as he looked into her eyes.

This wasn't a monster. This was a person they had seized.

"Leave..." The behemoth panted, her breath baking against the three.

"Let's just go..." He muttered, imagining her dragged through the city in shackles, beautiful white fur pelted with garbage and rotten fruit, "Just leave her, it'd be too much trouble..."

"Of course we're leaving her, imbecile! Then we'll take her back on the way out!" Marius said, turning to face him, his wolf-helm frozen in an eternal grin, "Unless you're suggesting we abandon our catch..."

"Leave..!" The minotaur bellowed, shaking her head in annoyance, straining uselessly against her chains, "Now!"

"No... It's just, she's... just look at..."

Bridget pushed Cassius aside, standing between him and the knight, "She might escape if we just left her is all! So why bother with the dumb thing! Right?" She said, glancing from Marius to the minotaur, "Let's just move on, it'll make a good story regardless, not many folks manage to bring down one of these!"

Marius was silent as he looked between them, one hand on his hip, the other opening and closing its fingers around the grip of his sword. Finally he turned back to the behemoth and stepped closer to her.

"Not many do, no..." He said, gripping his sword with both hands. He leveled the tip of the blade to the minotaur's forehead, then raised it above him to strike, "And how few can be said to have slain one?"

The creature roared as her muscles flexed, the chains binding her body all nearly snapping at once. Marius froze, unable to do a thing as he was seized in one of the beast's massive hands, the behemoth moving surprisingly fast for one her size.

"Wha-Let me go freak!" Marius screamed, voice shrill with terror. He tried to bring his sword to bear on the creature's fingers, but the angle was too awkward, his movement restricted by his heavy plate armor, "Put me down! Put me down! Help!"

The minotaur plucked the sword from Marius's grasp with her free hand, holding the blade between her fingers as she lifted it to eye-level. Cassius had always thought the sword looked more ornamental than practical with its golden gilding and faceted jewels, and this theory was lent credence when the behemoth snapped the blade handily between her giant fingers.

"Pathetic..." She snorted.

"Let me go! Please! I'll leave! We'll all leave, please let me live!"

"Let me put this... into terminology..." The minotaur groaned, a vicious smile spreading across her bovine lips, "Even a dumb brute... like you... will follow..."

Marius screamed as the gargantuan woman tightened her grip around his waist. The metallic cry soon turned into a stomach-churning gurgle as blood began to leak from between the elf's plate armor and dripped through the monster's clenching fingers. The two mercenaries could only watch, Cassius frozen with fear, Bridget either fear or apathy, as the fallen noble's body went limp in the giant's grasp.

"We sh-should..." Cassius began, "S-Should..!"

He screamed as Marius's bloody corpse was tossed into him, knocking him to the ground pinning him beneath it.

"Cassius!" Bridget cried as the minotaur charged her. The raccoon hissed as she leapt to the side, narrowly dodging a punch from the beast. As the monster turned and bent, reaching for the club she had dropped when she was captured, the hedge mage jumped at the giant, clinging to the rope that held up her loincloth and bound a strangely normal-sized sword to her waist. The minotaur roared in fury, desperately trying to shake the woman off of her and failing as the witch scaled her way up the flabby giant, clinging tightly to her back rolls, he claws sinking into the beast's flesh and drawing blood.

"I'll make you suffer, you big bitch!" Bridget spat, drawing a gnarled dagger from her belt, the blade glowing with a sickly green light as it was unsheathed.

The minotaur snorted in irritation before slamming her back into one of the nearby ruined pillars still left standing, knocking the raccoon helplessly to the ground and the dagger from her grip.

"Curse you..." The woman hissed as she got to her feet, flames sparking in her palms, the fire reflecting in her eyes, "Curse you all!"

Bridget hurled the flames at the minotaur and they split, landing on the chains that still hung loose from her swollen curves. The beast roared in pain and anger as the spell hit her, the chains igniting across her body as though doused in oil. The monster's fur began to smolder as it started to catch alight as well, but instead of trying to put out the flames, she charged at the raccoon again, horns leveled at the mage as she attempted to gore her foe.

"Hah!" Bridget cried with glee as she dodged out of the way, landing on her feet as the gigantic beast passed her by, "I'm too fast! I'm too fucking fa-"

Cassius finally managed to pull himself out from under his dead employer, just in time to hear Bridget scream. He looked up, seeing the minotaur's thick, almost draconian tail slam into the woman, sending the racoon witch flying into one of the nearby hedge walls. The sorceress shrieked loudly as the flames still flaring from her claws ignited the leaves around her, the entire hedge soon swallowed in a hideous inferno.

It was one of the worst ways to go Cassius had ever seen.

He had little time to morn as the minotaur turned to face him. He scrambled to his feet as she scooped up her club, her hooves clomping through the earth, sending dirt and grass flying into the air as the giant woman picked up speed.

Cassius ran, knowing that this wasn't the kind of nightmare you wake up from.

#fat furry #fatfur #weight gain

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blackacre13 · 2 years

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The actress au is so good! please write more parts

Part seven is here; here's part eight!

“Good girl,” Lou whispered, her voice dropping as Debbie’s eyes fluttered wide, gasping as Lou kissed her again, her fingers coming up against her neck, leaving slight pressure this time as Debbie did her damndest not to moan into her touch, disappointed when the blonde pulled away, swinging the door open into the sunlight as she looked back at a shocked and still Debbie, left blinking as the sun peeked through the stage door. “Coming?”

“Oh, Ms. Miller!” A page spoke rushing over to the blonde before Debbie had time to properly collect herself enough for a response, Lou greeting the other woman with a pleasant smile, nodding along as she took a water bottle from her and a stack of post-it notes. Debbie only able to hear a mumble of, “I told him I wasn’t doing that bloody project. If he thinks I’m gonna read the script anyway….well,” she sighed. “I guess he’s right. Fuck. Thanks for this.”

Debbie stepped out awkwardly, trying to peek at the script in Lou’s hands to distract from the fact that the two stars were coming out of an empty sound stage away from where they were shooting together, but the page didn’t seem to notice or care, her own duties getting in the way of any sort of curiosity or gossip.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Ocean, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I have a Mr. Becker on the phone for you?”

Debbie’s face went pale as she managed a small nod, feeling Lou’s deep eyes on her, practically boring into her skull with something Debbie couldn’t quite interpret. Hurt? Pain? Confusion?

There were too many things to explain. Too many rumors to squash. And she wanted Lou to know them all, but she certainly couldn’t do any of that here and now.

“Ms. Ocean?” The page prompted again, holding out a smartphone as Debbie muted the screen, tossing her what she hoped was a gentle and professional smile.

“I’ll call him back from my trailer,” Debbie muttered. “Could you just maybe give the two of us a second. I just—“

“I’m sorry, I actually need you in hair and Ms. Miller in makeup. Ms. Miller, if you’ll just come with me.”

“Lou,” Debbie pled, turning to the blonde as Lou’s eyes flashed with hurt.

“I’ll see you on set,” she spoke blankly, nodding towards the page before following her off, Debbie’s stomach flipping wildly as she watched Lou’s fingers crumple the water bottle in her hand into a ball as she stalked off.

Debbie’s eyes were blazing as she stomped back towards the trailer, flinging the door open as she scrambled for her phone, angrily and blindly dialing before she held the phone up to her ear with a hiss.

“Bee?”

“You know I hate that name.”

“That’s why it’s funny.”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want, Bee.”

“I did this movie to get away from you, Claude,” Debbie growled.

“And what is it, they say? Distance makes the love go longer?”

“Heart grow fonder,” Debbie sighed, sinking down on the couch, burying her head between her knees as she moved the phone to speaker. Here it went. Claude Becker. Fucking up her life once again. Ruining anything good that ever came into her path.

“Aw, I knew you’d agree, Bee,” he chuckled. “So, how’s it been babe? That Miller chick is hot. Heard you two get to french a little.”

“I can’t believe I ever pretended to date you,” the brunette huffed, banging her head against her thigh. “Are you just calling to tell me the same thing again, Claude? Because it’s getting a little old repeating the same speech. What we had was good. It worked. It did its job. But it wasn’t real.”

“It was real to me, baby,” Claude whispered, and Debbie grimaced, practically feeling the stubble of his beard against her cheek through the phone.

“Claude,” Debbie exhaled, unable to believe she was having this conversation yet again. “This was never real. And it never will be. And you’re Fucking things up more than you even know, okay? We used to be co-stars. We used to be each other’s date on the red carpet. But, hey, our managers arranged it. None of it is real. None of it is—“ her mind drifted off, thinking of the hurt in Lou’s eyes as she walked away. She had desperately wanted to run after her and explain. Tell her there was nothing to worry about. But if their roles had been reversed, Debbie knew her mind would be racing and she was too stubborn and focused to make room to listen to anyone. She would’ve been spiraling.

And now she had to deal with Claude Becker of all things and make it back to set and see how she could 1) act like her career depended on it because it did, and 2) make sure Lou was okay and that there was still a chance to figure out who this Lou and Debbie was without anyone else being the wiser. Fuck.

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kimetsu-no-imagines · 3 years

Text

submission request

its ur bf write me rengoku porn rn before i kiss you in electrical- u know what i want 😩 ——————————————————————————- a/n : !!!!!! anything for u babe!!!!! a request from my bf,,,,,,,how special,,,,especially when haven’t written on here in forever,,,,,, warnings ; mugen train spoilers!!!!!!!!!! s o m a n y!!!!!! mentions of rengoku/akaza fight, alternate universe where rengoku lives it’s what we all want anyway, pre-established relationship/rengoku is your husband, breeding/pregnancy kink, rengoku living and dying (figuratively) between your legs, “dirty” talk but rengoku is such a loving man i don’t think it should even be called that here, uhhhh body worship but with his eyes? its very vague but it is there, boy just loves you okay, also none of this is proof read or anything if that matters word count ; 2,728

I’m Home

When you first hear about it, of course, like his fellow pillars, you’re terrified-thankful, naturally, that your husband at least hasn’t died, but the crow sent to inform you of the events of his mission, of his injuries, doesn’t exactly try to sugar coat anything, not even for you, his spouse.

Skull fractures from dodging the punch that would have smashed his eye completely, broken ribs from dodging yet another hit that, if he hadn’t moved back fast enough, would have gone through him and killed him-the details were gruesome, they were bone-chilling, it wasn’t as if you or anyone particularly enjoyed hearing about it, but one thing was for certain-you were relieved not to have lost him to this, to have lost anyone. Tanjiro and the others were so strong, so hard-working, and they were so young, with so much to live for-you couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if anything had happened to them, either.

There’s so much about it that pains you-not being able to have your husband home with you after he’d already been so busy with this mission and the ones before it, knowing how injured he was and how long it’d take him to recover at the Butterfly Estate, it was all… Torture. Not that you couldn’t go see him, of course-but Shinobu urged you to stay home and relax, you wouldn’t want to see him in the state that he was in, she promised you that much. Her crow did come by to personally update you on his condition every day or so, though-that was at least some amount of relief.

… Or, it would have been. You hadn’t seen any crow come by in a week or so, to the day-and yes, you kept track, because of course you did, you were an anxious wreck, and it’d already been months of your husband steadily recovering, or so you thought. Had he died from his injuries? Did something happen to the estate, were more people hurt? … Well. You supposed that was a silly thought, she lived so close to the Master’s own residence-no demon could get close enough to hurt them, with all the wisteria around both places.

You were so used to having your husband around to calm you when you thought about the worst things, like this-your heart hurt with anxiety and worry. What could you do but stand outside by the door, every day, for hours, just waiting for some sign, of a crow, of Shinobu herself, of anything?

It was another day that had gone by just like that-your feet and legs ached from keeping yourself up for so long, dried tear trails staining the sides of your face-you knew it was silly of you, you knew you should have tried to be at least a little stronger, for him if no one else, but… You just couldn’t help it. You hated this. You just wanted your husband back.

A dejected sigh leaves you as you watch the sun set for just one more moment before turning to go back inside, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes again-maybe tomorrow you’ll go up to Shinobu’s estate yourself. You couldn’t stand this for another–

“Hahaha! Now isn’t this strange! You’re running away from me!”

Your heart stops, and you freeze in place. What?

You feel him before you can turn to see him-chest pressed against your back, though soon you’re spun around and pulled up into a crushing hug anyway, and it’s all you can do to immediately start sobbing into your husband’s brightly-colored hair as you’re held.

“… Hello, my sweet,” His voice is no longer booming and jovial like it was a moment ago, but soft, gentle and meant only for you, as he squeezes you to him-you want to worry about the injuries he was supposed to be recovering from still, but you don’t want this to end, either. You suppose, he must have just been coming around the corner and through the gate when you turned to go inside-not that it mattered, all that did matter was that he was… Here, holding you.

“You must have missed me terribly!” All hearty, he laughs with you again, even if all you can do is cry in his arms while he rubs soothingly at your back, “But of course I missed you terribly too! I tried many times to sneak out and come home to you, but Shinobu or one of the other girls always caught me-”

You missed his voice dearly, you did-and you were still crying, but you couldn’t help but lean up and kiss him. It was something you usually did to quiet him, for sure, but right now you just… Needed him. And he didn’t seem to mind, hands happily and readily sliding down to hoist you up into his arms, never breaking from you as he carried you into your home.

“… Such a beautiful shouldn’t have quite so many tears upon it, you know,”He mumbles gently against your lips, and you sniffle as you finally reach up to start wiping at them, “I-I just missed you so much, Kyojuro, I was so scared-you were almost-you could have-”

“But I didn’t, and I won’t.” He interrupts you sweetly, but firmly nonetheless, shaking his head at you, “I am fine. I am healed, my love. I am still here to fulfill my duties-and I always will be. That includes my duties to you as your husband.”

“I…” It doesn’t feel like you should believe it-after what you’d heard of his battle, knowing he’d even just encountered an Upper Moon demon, this felt too good to be real or true, and yet… There’s such certainty and finality blazing in his eyes as he stares at you, all you can do is nod.

“… Alright.”

———————————————–

… Really, all you had intended to do this evening, now that you had your husband home with you, was cook him his favorite meal and go to sleep with him, in his arms, for the first time in who knew how long, at this point. Truthfully, that had been your only goal. You wanted him to rest, no matter how many times he told you just how fully recovered he was through the mouthfuls of sweet potato you so lovingly prepared for him-and yet… And yet…

Well, you suppose you simply didn’t account for him wanting… Dessert.

“It’s been so long,” The words are mumbled around you, your flesh, as he greedily, really voraciously eats and licks you up from between your legs-you’d already known him to be feral when presented with the sweet treat only you could provide him with, but this was something else entirely, “-it’s been too long, my love, don’t you understand how very hungry I am?”

You don’t, but by no means are you going to let that stop either of you. You missed his mouth just as much as he missed your taste.

“K-Kyojuro-Kyojuro, I’m-Kyo–”

… He’s never been one to tease or deny you. And yet just as you’re about to cum, so close to the edge you could have tasted it yourself, he’s pulling away from you. His lips and chin and… Well, his face, in general, are so shiny with you-you easily forget your frustration and get lost in the blissful look in his eyes as he cleans himself with his tongue. “While you certainly are the most delicious thing in this world, my sweet,” He crawls up the length of your body so quickly, so desperate to smash his lips to your own, “-as I’ve told you, it’s been far too long. I want to feel you cum around my cock this evening. But I’m sure you have no complaint either way?” Any other day, you’d want to hit him, to get that cheeky look off of his face, but… You also can’t say you don’t want that. Maybe you really don’t have any complaints either way. “… You’re awful,” You huff up at him, but you nod, “… But alright.” … And yet he stays still. It would be so easy-you’re properly soaked, and the pair of you are completely naked, and yet your infuriating husband is just… Sitting there, hovering over you with a smile on his face. It’s a soft, loving smile-but you’ve known him so long, you don’t miss the mischief in his eyes. “… Can I not admire you, my beautiful spouse? Even for a moment, after I’ve been gone from you for so very long?” It’s not a crime for him to stare at you so adoringly-really, you’d love it if you weren’t as damn horny as you were. But... It has been a long time. He’s teasing, but as much as that’s true, you know he’s being earnest, too-his eyes flicker all over your form so carefully, meticulously re-memorizing every tiny detail about you. “... Even more beautiful then before I left you, dear one,” The way he murmurs it, so absently, it’s almost more like he’s saying it to himself, but his eyes raised to bore back into yours after a minute-clearly, he wants you to hear every word of what he’s saying, absent or not. “... Would you like to know something I thought about while I was away?” His love renders you breathless, speechless-it’s all you can do to nod up at him. “During the brief hours of respite I would get, I would think to myself... What would it be like to come back to you, our home... How would it feel, the joy of it all... And then, another thought had started to occur to me,” A sharp gasp tears through you as you feel a few fingers suddenly and swiftly beginning their work at stretching you out-sneaky man, he’d distracted you from his hands with his voice, and even then, he kept talking like he hadn’t done anything, “... What would it be like if I could come home to the sight of you all swollen and glowing with our child...?” Those words rob you of whatever meager amount of breath you had managed to regain. With your child...? “... Oh, my love, you squeezed my fingers so nicely just now,” He marvels at the sight, the feeling of you, worrying his lip between his teeth-you’re so pretty like this, is what he wants to say, but his mind is suddenly consumed by the thought he’d put into both your heads a moment ago. You, glowing with the product of your love in your stomach. You don’t fail to notice the twitching of his cock where it hangs all hard between his legs. “Do you like the sound of that, then...? Do you want to carry my children, our children, my dear one? I’ll give it to you if you just say the word-after all, what poor excuse of a husband would I be if I didn’t?” His fingers move in and out of you faster, frantic and eager to prepare you for him, now, as he almost rambles on like that-his words set your body, your insides, on fire. You do want it, you realize-it’s not something you’d given much thought to before, but here, like this, right now after spending so much time worrying about losing him? You really do want nothing more. “P-p-please, please Kyojuro, I want-please give me your children, I want it, I want you, please make me pregnant, my husband, please-” It’s not meant to egg him on, truly it isn’t-you just can’t help but beg with how badly you want it yourself. But that doesn’t mean you don’t delight in the way he seems to snap, just the slightest bit, above you, quickly removing his fingers from you to replace them with his cock-what you’d been waiting for since he laid you down in bed earlier. That felt like an eternity ago right now, though. The stretch isn’t an uncomfortable one, with the care he’d still taken to prepare you-you missed it, if anything, you missed him. And it’s clear that he feels the same-he’s gone so tense above you, arms trembling on either side of you with the restraint it takes not to move. Somehow, he still manages to keep up that bright smile of his, too. “Do tell me when I can move, my love. This is a bit unbearable with how lovely you feel!” ... As hazy as your mind was with pleasure, you couldn’t help but giggle. Even now, your husband was so... Endearing. So cute. Your bring your hands up to hold his face as you nod your head eagerly, over and over, “Please, Kyojuro-please, I want it,” You can see that he wants to worry about you, wants to ask you again to make sure-but he can’t, his body betrays him, his hips instantly slotting themselves against your own, pulling back only to quickly bring themselves back down, his cock pressing and rubbing against every bit of your insides as it moves in and out of you, over and over and over, so fast-and your husband hardly even breaks a sweat. ... His being a demon slayer, and a pillar, at that, had its perks, you supposed. His stamina was one of them. But he seemed to already be losing his composure, too, with just how long it’d been since you’d gotten to be so close. “This-this is embarrassing, haha-I feel like I could burst at any moment already-just-just thinking about how-utterly perfect you’d look, ah-” His hips stutter, and he stills for a second, to keep his own pleasure at bay for a moment-though he makes up for it with the hand that shoots down to rub and stroke at what his cock isn’t already touching, “-goodness gracious-how perfect you’d look, pregnant, my love-” As if you aren’t ready to burst, yourself. Did he suddenly forget about denying you mere minutes ago...? “M-my husband-my husband, Kyojuro, please, m-me too, just go ahead, please-please give me your child, give it to me, please-” “You’re really as difficult as you are beautiful!” The very wind is knocked out of you as you find your legs suddenly on either side of your head, as he fucks into you with a very renewed, fittingly fiery sense of vigor and passion, grunting freely every time he feels you wrap around him again and again, “I truly did want to take my time with you this evening, my sweet-how irresistible you are like this-I’ll have to savor you another time-” This position, the wildness in his eyes, the feeling and the sight of him-yes, the sight of him, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t see the bulge appearing and disappearing from your stomach-fucking into you desperately, all of it is far too much for you, far too overwhelming, but of course he revels above you in the way you clamp down on him and make a sudden, abrupt mess all over the pair of you, not to mention the futon underneath you. “So beautiful-so beautiful like this, my love-I-just the sight of you, you’re going to make me-goodness-” He leans over you and folds you in half even further, nose brushing against your neck, “I-I’m going to-I’m going to give it to you now, alright? I swear it, my love, my dear one, I’ll-I’ll get you pregnant, I promise, I promise, I--” It’s so intense, he almost roars as it washes over him, as he fills you up so completely it leaks out of you, with how long its been since either of you had any form of... Release. Your legs are released, and they flop numbly down against the plush futon beneath you-your husband can barely keep himself up, but he at least tries to be careful as he collapses against you, chuckling so happily against your shoulder while you can hardly keep your eyes open, let alone say anything. You wish you had the sense what was apparently so... Funny, right now. “... I love you, _____.” The biggest wave of tranquility falls over you, hearing those words. You can’t quite say much of anything still, but he knows-he sees it in your eyes when he looks up at your face. You love him too. Right now, that’s all he needs. “I really am so happy to be home, dear one.”

#demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer imagines #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku x reader #rengoku smut #demon slayer smut #submission

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bokutsumie · 3 years

Note

Hihi ! Since requests are open may I ask for kyotani (GRR SO YUMMY QLOSKSJAKAJ) iwaizumi, yaku, and akaashi if Y/n was cooking something and being like “baby come here and taste this for me” and grabbing their jaw and holding it out for him to try 🧍🏽‍♀️

HAIKYUU BOYS REACTING TO YOU GRABBING THEIR JAW TO TASTE YOUR COOKING

-> kyotani, iwa, yaku, akaashi

-> genre: fluff

-> warnings: food, swearing

-> gender neutral

-> hi bae 😏 you're my guinea pig for the new headcanon format i decided to try ! i don't know if i like this (short little scenario blurbs), or bulleted lists better. anyways i hope you like it ✊🏻 sorry kyotani's is kind of bad idk how to write for his character very well <\3

## KYOTANI !!

he was sitting on the sofa when you called him, "hey baby can you come over here and taste this for me?" and he responded quickly with "what is it? i'm sure it's fine."

"baby please? i think it needs more salt but i don't wanna make it too salty."

he stood up from his position on the couch and walked over next to you looking at the closed pot.

he was going to open the drawer next to the stove, however you rotated your body to block the drawer, opened the pot on the stove, scooped up some food, and grabbed his jaw while you shoved the wooden spoon in his mouth.

kyotani kentaro™ has stopped working. please restart the program and try again.

he wasn't the type to blush or get flustered, but you had always been his weak spot. he felt butterflies in his stomach, and decided to just enjoy the domestic moment between you two.

he's a bit of a closed off type of person and doesn't initiate much, but when you pull shit like this he loves it.

"it's fine, how long until it's done? 'm fuckin starving."

## IWAIZUMI !!

"hey baby? can you come here for a second?"

you were standing in front of the stove, and the kitchen was a mess. you were used to cooking but you were trying something new and you just didn't quite know if it tasted right.

iwaizumi swiveled on his heels down the hallway of your shared apartment, and shuffled towards your backside. he hooked his thumbs in your front belt loops and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"what's up?" his voice was lower than usual, his daily afternoon nap had accidentally turned into an evening one, only having woke up fifteen minutes prior.

"can you taste this for me? it seems like it needs something but i don't know what." you spun around, he unhooked his thumbs from your belt loops and you saw him stood in front of you, his hair tossled and eyes half-lidded, slouching now that he wasn't holding onto you.

"mhm." he replied, sleep still laced in his voice.

but when you grabbed his jaw and he felt the spoon poking at his bottom lip, his eyes were not only completely open now but it seems that his hair has a life of its own, and it's all spiky like he's just done it.

a rosy red creeps up onto his cheeks as his gives you a wide stare and hesitantly takes the spoon into his mouth, still utterly focused on your fingers gently holding his chin.

he has butterflies doing backflips in his stomach right now, and can't seem to fathom why it was necessary for you to hold his chin, but he didn't care, he loved it nonetheless.

you saw that he looked much more awake now, and he replied to your previous question with "no, it's good. what spices did you use? i like it." but he still sounded sleepy.

"okay thank you! you're never gonna sleep tonight once you completely wake up. i told you to set your alarm for 3!"

## YAKU !!

"hey! get over here. is this good?" you asked as yaku walked through the front door, just getting home.

"aw, did you miss me that much?" he replied, his tone was teasing.

"not at all. now get your ass over here before i dump the pot on your head." you two would always tease each other. you knew the other person was joking, but most people around you always ended up thinking that you hated each other.

he shuffled to your side, taking his shoes off and throwing them against the wall next to the front door in the process. "you know, i wouldn't have to ask you for cooking advice if i made dinner." he said, a shit eating grin on his face and his hands in fists at his hips.

"oh shut up, you know you'd burn the house down if i even let you touch the microwave." you spoke, grabbing his jaw and shoving the spoon in his mouth.

he was startled, to say the least. his cheeks heated up involuntary as he tried to hide the fact that you may or may not have given him major butterflies.

"it's fine, just needs some salt." he said the last part quietly, just to irritate you a little more, he couldn't hurt his pride too much. he walked past you and dumped the spoon in the sink, but not before flicking the back of your head first. you rolled your eyes as you kept stirring. idiot, you thought.

## AKAASHI !!

you heard the thumping of his footsteps descending down the wooden stairs, signaling that akaashi was probably coming down to see how dinner was going. considering, you were supposed to be done with it twenty minutes ago.

akaashi wasn't impatient, he had just wondered if you hurt yourself or broke something because there had been less clangs and bangs coming from the kitchen for the past couple minutes.

"hey baby, can you come taste this for me? i've remade it tons of times and it just doesn't taste right."

"of course. i was a bit worried you had given up a while ago because it was kind of quiet. i'm glad you didn't because i'm hungry." his last sentence was a mumble. you're accompanied by him at your side not too short afterward.

"smells good," he slings a hand around your waist, "i'm sure it's fine, you made it." the last part hummed against your skull as he placed his lips on your forehead.

you turned in his grip and he still held his hand on your waist, adding his other to your left side now. now, you used one hand to hold the spoon, and the other cupped underneath it to make sure it wouldn't spill. you guided it toward him, and as he took the spoon in his mouth, you moved your free hand and placed a few fingers below his chin, making sure it didn't spill.

akaashi adored domestic moments like this, he wouldn't call himself a sap but he sure didn't mind having moments like these frequently. you stroked your thumb over his jaw a bit before you released your hand to place the spoon on the counter.

one of his hands moved up to squeeze your shoulder. "it's good, i like the flavor. we should eat soon so we can go to bed early, you look sleepy."

TAGS: @we-mentally-unstable @1itt1el0v3 @milktyama @cvsmixplant

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kimjihyun-archive · 3 years

Note

hey.... 35 with jihyun??

i love you, i love you, i love you

pairing: jihyun “v” kim x reader

wc: 1.3k

warnings: just a little hurt comfort!! they kiss :)

note: me? with a v fic? yes yes i am back!! i have so many requests to get through but i’ve missed this man more than life itself so !!

Jihyun awakens early that morning, even for him.

It’s barely dawn as he rolls over, the sun just breaking through the horizon, adorning the room in faded oranges and vibrant blues. He’s not quite sure why he’s awake as he palms at his eyes, but when his gaze meets her frame—draped in sky-soaked sheets, hair pooling at the ridges of her shoulders—he decides it doesn’t matter all that much.

She’s more than he ever could’ve wished her to be. Her presence is constant, unwavering, a dig in the back of his mind that feels like diving into cold water. It’s torn him to pieces—splaying out fragments in front of her—and yet she’s gentle with each one, a puzzle between delicate fingertips.

He’s always claimed to be an artist, but the idea of such a thing makes him laugh now. The way she’s assembled a mosaic from his skin, the way her fingertips paint at every scar, every blemish, every piece of him that he’d cursed for being there—

She’s much more of such than he could ever wish to be.

Yet, she stirs beside him and he holds his breath, hoping not to wake her so early. Her face is still soft with the lure of unconsciousness, but her hands twitch and her fingers stumble as they reach across the mattress—as they reach for him. He’s quick to oblige, allowing her to wrap her arms around his torso and bury her nose into his collar.

Part of him wishes to kiss her then—to drop his head low and press his lips to the flash of sunlight across her cheeks, or the skin just behind her ear. Part of him wishes to hum soft words into her skin—to tell her I love you, I love you, I love you until he’s memorized the way his voice reverberates against her flesh.

But he lingers there, silent and still, eyes flicking over her skin. He can feel her breath along the side of his neck and the way her fingers tangle into the hem of his shirt—a reminder that yes she is here, and yes she is his. She, in all of her grace, in all of her kindness, and humility, and wonder—is here with him, swallowed by the hum of dawn.

His fingers dance at the top of her hipbone, pressing into soft skin as goosebumps follow his touch. He’s careful—as if there’s porcelain beneath his hands—but warmth splays under him and he’s melted by the feeling, just as he always is.

And as the sheets begin to pool at her waist, something terribly needy begins to grip him. His head hangs low, the smell of her shampoo (a lavender one she’s always used religiously) heavy in his nose. He presses his lips to her forehead and gentle hesitation sprouts throughout his body, but he continues along the side of her face, kisses falling down to her jaw.

She moves then: an arch in her back with a sudden intake of breath, and he curses himself for the way he’s drawn to her. Her eyes are slow to flutter open, but he still freezes at the sight of them, fixed on the way they sparkle in morning blues.

A gentle sound falls from her lips as she reaches up, soft fingers brushing against his jaw.

“Oh, I’ve awoken you, haven’t I?” He leans into her touch, his skin humming against the warmth of hers. “I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head, a drowsy smile soft upon her cheeks.

“Don’t apologize. Now I get to see you.” He laughs at the statement—warm and breathy and drawn low in the air of the morning.

“What?” She murmurs, her face falling back into the crook of his neck. “I’m completely serious.” He can hear the pout in her voice, but a snort is quick to follow suit.

And yet there’s an ache in this—a soft, tender thing that twists in his bones and soaks through his flesh and sings to parts of him that he nearly forgets are there. It’s in the way her voice falls around him, in the way the sunlight, just barely bright enough to tear through the curtains, spills swirling patterns across her skin, in the way this feels so terribly sweet and kind and real.

When did he begin to deserve this? How could he ever deserve this? It’s a whisper that lingers, a thought that licks at the back of his skull. He wishes to love her, to adorn her in everything she could ever desire, but the voice in the back of his head will forever ask him why he should have the honor of doing such; why should he get to feel the warmth of her patience and the buzzing of her touch; why should he—

“You’re thinking, aren’t you?” She hasn’t moved from her spot, the tip of her nose tickling at the skin just below his jaw. It doesn’t take so much as a glance for her to reach through the pieces of him that have fallen across their sheets; it never does.

“I…” He knows better than to lie to her, but as he opens his mouth to speak, something dies in his throat.

“The usual?” She asks, her shoulders arching back with a stretch as she turns to look up at him.

“The usual,” he replies.

She sighs, a soft breath spilling across the room, the heat laying over his skin. Her shoulders twist with a stretch and she looks up at him, meeting his gaze through the darkness.

“Oh, Jihyun.” Her voice is nothing more than a hum, a whisper in the morning. “Do you ever let yourself rest?”

No.

“Of course. Aren’t I resting right now, my love?” He regrets the attempt at humor as soon as the words fall from his lips and her mouth winds lightly into a frown.

“You know what I mean,” she scorns. He sighs, falling back into the pillows, his skin twisting with the silk of his sheets. She’s quick to follow him, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as her lips meet his cheek, his temple, the corner of his mouth.

“I do.” His voice, in the light of the morning, as the sun crawls its way into the sky, is barely his voice at all. It creaks with a sound so terribly weak that he can’t help but clear his throat after his breath hits the air.

“I love you,” she hums into his skin and he can feel the way her voice reverberates throughout his flesh. “Now—” Her mouth meets his with a kiss soft enough to melt him into the mattress below them. “And forever.” The words buzz so strongly against his face that he twitches at the sound, his fingers reaching for the sides of her hips.

“And you deserve that.” Another—this time barely the ghost of her lips against his, but it’s enough to shake him to his core. “You will always deserve that.”

He has no words to say, no awful form of self-deprecation to speak. His mind is quiet, his mouth unmoving. His fingertips lace endless shapes into her skin, each one lingering in the air between them.

He wishes to hum soft words into her skin, to tell her of the endless ways he loves her, to be her strength and her will and the humility he so adores. But this morning, in the gentle blues of their bedroom, she will give that to him. She will dull the ache that crawls so deeply through his bones and he, ignoring all that seems righteous to him, will accept each word that leaves her mouth. She will be his strength, and his will, and his humility.

And though he hates to admit it—hates to hear that he should have anything more than the absolute minimum—he will hear that she loves him, over and over, just as he deserves.

taglist: @zenicksnina @bloodpacks @dis-gorl @decayz

#jihyun kim x reader #jihyun kim x mc #v x reader #v x mc #mystic messenger #mysme #jihyun kim #v mystic messenger #v mysme #i forget how to tag #oh god i almost forgot my taglist hi guys enjoy

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svnflowervol666 · 3 years

Text

Pinky Promise (dad!Harry)

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Harry introduces a certain special someone to the newest addition of his family.

Author’s Note: Surprise! Here’s some boy dad!Harry on this fine week night. I feel like Harry is almost always written as as girl dad (guilty as charged tho), so I wanted to show the boys some love. I didn’t really call this one an ‘x reader,’ because this one’s mostly about Harry and his bub, but the missus is still there, don’t worry! I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback of any kind, likes and especially reblogs are super helpful to keep me motivated to post more. Take care and TPWK.

The Styles household was always filled with noise. Whether it was contagious laughter echoing off of the walls in the kitchen, the pitter patter of pudgy feet bursting through the back door from the garden, or the low humming of the secondhand record player coming from the living room. The sounds were comforting, reassuring to those that lived there. While the ruckus caused by something like which Joni Mitchell song Harry should play on the guitar before bedtime or what color everyone’s nails should be painted each week might seem chaotic to some, it represented a kind of tranquility that at one point did not seem possible to grasp.

But today, in the modest, ivy-covered cottage with a pastel-yellow door, it was quiet. The sun poured in from the two open windows of the living area, filling the room with a still brightness that only London could emote. Dust particles danced in the light, drifting along through their own invisible current. The beginnings of the city could be seen in the distance, visible in a foggy haze with promises of sweet treats and adventue-packed days. But no sound, as the newest member of the Styles family had commanded the attention and affection of everyone within its walls.

“She’s so little,” the youngest spoke up. Although he was now technically the oldest. He outstretched his hand out to caress the petite foot that stuck out from beneath the periwinkle-colored muslin blanket.

“I know,” Harry replied, watching the swaddled newborn’s toes curl in reaction to being tickled by her brother, “I remember when you were this tiny, too.”

“I was?” he asked, scratching at his chocolate brown curls that never laid flat.

Harry nodded in affirmation, recalling the early morning when his son had been born prematurely. He’d spent nearly ten days resting in an uncomfortable vinyl recliner beside his girlfriend’s, who was now his wife, hospital bed counting down the minutes until the nurse would give them the “ok” to go visit their bub in the NICU. Harry stared in awe at his newborn through the glass of the incubator, using the open portal on the side to reach in and stroke his cheek with the faintest of touches. He was covered in wires and tubes, surrounded by monitors and beeping machines, all tasked with keeping his underdeveloped organs afloat. It was the most pitiful thing he had ever seen, and Harry still has those nights where he’s plagued with memories from the hospital. While the day he became a father was most certainly the best day of his life, it was one of the most traumatic experiences he’s ever been through.

“Mhmm. You were actually even smaller when you were born,” Harry prodded, playfully wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“No I wasn’t! the toddler jabbed back, crinkling his nose up at his parents, his aquamarine colored eyes turning into tiny slits on either side.

“Umm, yes you were,” Harry’s wife replied with a chuckle from where she sat beside the rest of her family on the couch, “We bought the tiniest size clothes we could find and they still didn’t fit your teeny little bum.”

The boy sat confused, trying to comprehend how a person could be smaller than his sister, let alone be so tiny that clothes didn’t even fit them.

“Well, I’m big now. Right?”

“Much bigger,” Harry reassured him, “But now that you’re bigger, you have t’ take care of your sister. You have to teach her how to be kind and share your toys with her. Think yeh can do tha’?”

“Yes! C-can she swim with me in the pool?” he stumbled over his words, overjoyed by the idea of someone always being around to play his sacred water games with him in his nana’s pool.

“Not yet, bubba,” Harry laughed, tickled by his son’s enthusiasm, “We have t’ wait until she’s a little bit older. But I’m sure she’d love to swim with you at Nana’s when she knows how.”

“Okayyy,” the boy replied, slightly defeated.

“Do you want t’ hold her?” Harry asked, gesturing to the sleeping bundle in his lap, her puffy eyelids closed peacefully as tiny, sporadic grunts left her little belly.

“Yeah, but I don’t know how,” he professed, his plush, pink toddler lips turning down into a frown.

“’S alright, I’ll show you,” Harry then carefully shuffled from his position on the couch, turning so that he was facing his son.

“So, first, you have to make sure you hold her head because she can’t keep it up on her own,” Harry started, reaching over to place the baby girl into his son’s arms.

Unlike the last time, Harry’s hands didn’t shake. He wasn’t afraid like he was before, when his arms trembled as he took his newborn son into his arms for the first time, petrified that he was going to accidentally smother him or drop him and that the worst thing he could imagine would come true. No. This time, his hands were sturdy, protective over his new daughter as he was preparing to introduce her to his firstborn for the very first time.

Harry’s wife looked on lovingly as his son took the baby from him excitingly, his left hand cupping her head gently. Her tired eyes were filled with love when he wrapped his arm protectively around her little tufts of peach fuzz in the best way that a five-year-old with mediocre hand-eye coordination could.

“You also have t’ hold her bum so she doesn’t squirm out of your arms.”

Harry took his son’s hand into his, guiding him to place his tiny forearm along the baby’s back with his palm resting on her diaper-clad bottom. When he was confident of his son’s grip on the infant, he pulled back. He made sure to hover over him with his brawny, tanned arms just ghosting over his son’s. Just in case.

The boy was elated. His sister was warm and soft, and she looked like one of the stuffed animals that he slept with every night. He couldn’t believe that the person he talked to in his mother’s belly every night for nine months and gave kisses to each morning before nursery school was here and real and now she gets to live with him forever.

“She’s so cute,” he spoke in gentle whisper this time, remembering what his mum had told him about being quiet around the baby so that she doesn’t wake up cranky.

He was absolutely smitten over her. Everything about her was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his brief time on Earth: her button nose that sat perfectly above her lips, her miniature fingers wound tightly her fist as if she was ready to fight, her little tongue that barely poked through her mouth each time she yawned. He could stare at her forever if he could.

Instinctively, he pulled her into his bony chest for a hug, squeezing a little too harder than he should have. The baby girl tensed in his grasp at the motion, the beginnings of a shrill whine escaping her pruney lips.

“Whoa, bub. You have t’ be careful,” Harry intervened, loosening his son’s arms so that the baby rested peacefully in the boy’s lap again.

“She’s fragile. You can’t squeeze her like that,” the boy’s mum reminded him.

“Sorry, Baby,” said the boy as he reached down to press his tiny lips to her eyebrow.

Her forehead wrinkled up at the contact, similar to one of auntie Gemma’s baby puppies, thought the boy to himself. He also thought that she kind of looked like one of the puppies too, but he kept that to himself.

Harry and his wife watched their children interacted, how his son was brushing his thumb along her skull, how her face relaxed at the steady motion. They were already in sync with each other, already comforting each other just by their presence. They were both besotted with their daughter, but Harry thinks he might be just a bit more in love with her than his wife. Harry had gotten used to raising his son, while he taught him to be a kindhearted and gentle creature, there had always been a degree of roughness to which he interracted with him. His daughter, however, was made of glass, Harry had convinced himself. He vowed to do whatever it took to make sure she never shed a single tear because of him or anything else he had control over.

Now, Harry had two babies. One boy and one girl, just like his family before this one. The similarities slightly terrified him. His son was soft and gentle and loving, just like Harry had been as a child. He was sensitive, always yearning to be held and touched in the way that Harry had when he was his age. His daughter, even though she was only a few days old, was already a stubborn little fighter like his sister. She cried her lungs out within her first few hours of being born, kicking and screaming until it looked like her face was turning blue. She hated the harsh lights that the doctors shone in her eyes and their cold hands that poked and prodded at her belly like she was a science experiment. It wasn’t until she was in the arms of her family that her wailing subsided.

It was thoughts like these that felt surreal to Harry. He never saw himself as someone that could be in the position he is now. He’d always thought he’d be an eternal bachelor, someone who only ever stayed with someone for a certain period of time before everything inevitably blew up in his face and he’d be back at square one. He never thought that he’d be the type of person with a wife and a white picket fence and a slew of babies; he never thought that he could be the type of person who could be this happy.

“Bubby, can I ask you to promise me something?” Harry asked as he scooped the boy into his lap, making sure the baby was secure so that the three of them laid in one pile on the couch.

He pulled his wife closer as well, making sure they were shoulder to shoulder and he felt surrounded on all sides by the ones he loved the most.

“What?” his son asked, peering up at his papa with huge eyes that resembled saucers, his long, dark eyelashes brushing his brow bones.

“I want you to promise me,” Harry began, wrapping his arms tighter around his two babies, resting his chin in the crook of his son’s neck, “tha’ whatever happens t’ the two of you, no matter how many times you get into fights. No matter how mad you might make each other. That you’ll love her. No matter what. That you’ll always be her big brother.”

Harry hadn’t realized, but his voice trailed off near the end. His voice was just above a whisper, so quiet that only his son could hear. He pressed his lips to side of his bub’s forehead, an attempt to soothe both his son and himself.

“Can yeh do that f’ me?”

The boy in Harry’s lap pondered his father’s words. His finger went absentmindedly to stroke his sister’s hand, astonished when her fingers unfurled from the tight fist they’d been bound in all day. He slipped his pinky into her palm just as her muscles relaxed so that she was now clutching tightly to his digit.

He had no idea of the weight that Harry’s words carried. He had no idea of the thoughts of uncertainty that haunted Harry about never getting to this point in his life. He doesn’t understand the cruelty that exists outside the walls of his home besides the pesky little boy in his class that borrows his crayons and doesn’t give them back. He doesn’t know that other children don’t grow up in homes with parents that love each other like his do.

He didn’t know any of these things, but he sensed that it meant a great deal to Harry, and he wanted to make sure that his father knew he could count on him for anything because he loved him with all of his heart and Harry proved that to him every single day.

“Pinky promise, papa,” the boy responds, loosening his hand that was wrapped around his sister to offer it to Harry.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #dad!harry #dad!harry x reader #dad!harry styles x reader #dad!harry styles

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thesolferino · 3 years

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⤷ note: apologies for losing your request, anon, but thank you for requesting! this is my first time writing a full fic in second person, so bear with me, and i hope this is what you were looking for <3

The Great American Bake Off

pairing: corpse husband x gn!reader

word count: 3.6k

genre: fluff

summary: you’ve been jealous of rae and her closeness with your boyfriend since the dawn of time, but things change and friendships are made once she comes over for one hell of a cooking video.

Corpse, among many other things, was a man many wished to have.

It’s the truth; even if he didn’t have a YouTube channel through which millions kept up with everything from horror stories to Among Us gameplays, people would still turn heads and whisper whenever he spoke - that attention more than multiplied when he started blowing up and his social media presence grew.

With growth come numbers, and there are always people behind said numbers. Through them, Corpse makes wonderful friends - through them, you had met him, too. All the way back, during his horror narration days, you had grown to like him - really, who wouldn’t?

A DM you once sent after a few drinks, when you claimed to your friends you’d get the “deep-voiced man of your dreams” you often talked about and they, in turn, challenged you to message him, was nothing short of a joke and the idea of him responding was merely a pipe dream. What you hadn’t expected, however, was a response, which wrecked your brain at noon the next day, where your head throbbed with embarrassment, guilt, pride, happiness, a melt of hatred and gratefulness for your friends, panic and the remains of alcohol that tugged at every part of your skull.

It had turned out to be more than a great idea, though, because for the next few weeks you were constantly talking. You learned so much more than he let on in videos, and during late night calls you found out everything from his favorite clothing brand to his favorite color to his thoughts about his own mortality and then back to his favorite cereal. Audio calls and short voice messages turned into hours long FaceTimes that led you from friends to something more. And after a year or so of dating, you packed your bags and made it to sunny San Diego, ready to lay in his arms and sweat bullets.

Safe to say Corpse’s social media presence had its good sides. However, with all good things come bad things too, and you weren’t sure if the bad things were bad at all or you were simply too jealous.

Corpse made wonderful friends thanks to his YouTube channel. He met people he could confide in, meet, people he could talk to about his worst problems, people who would listen - he met people he could have fun with, with who he could forget all about the real world and his own issues, and simply laugh his heart away, play games until the late hours of the night.

If he had to name his closest ones, they would have to be Dave, Loey, maybe Mykie, possibly Jack, and Rae. And that is exactly where the root of the problem stood.

Rae is beautiful, and everyone who denies it must be either dumb or blind. She’s drop dead gorgeous, and funny, and kind, and smart, in a way that made you want to rip your hair out. You wanted to hate her so bad, because the jealousy ate away at you like a damn disease, but you couldn’t, because she was perfect Rae, and as much as you hated the fact she seemed to be perfect inside out, you just couldn’t hate her as her. It was impossible, you concluded.

You convinced yourself you weren’t jealous every time you heard him yelling or laughing at her from his office room - or at least you attempted to do so. Your lunch would turn sour and end up forgotten because you’d be way too focused on listening in on what he was doing and trying to make out what she was saying to even eat at the same pace you previously were. Jealousy ate away at you, no matter if you admitted it to yourself or not.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Corpse, of course. On one late night when you couldn’t sleep and neither could he, as per usual, you turned on a random comedy that you half-heartedly paid attention to, his fingers combing through the knots in your hair peacefully and the slow pace of the movie lulling you to sleep slowly. That is, before his phone rang and lit the mostly dark room. You managed to sneak a glance at the notification before he had, and the familiar bitterness seeped between your ribs as always upon seeing the name displayed at the top of the message, more than awake now.

You visibly stiffened when he laughed at the message and typed something back, shifting your head in his lap as some subconscious attempt at getting him to pay attention to you instead. He put his phone down and you huffed, eyes locked on the TV screen as you pretended to be extremely absorbed in the movie even though you weren’t quite sure of the difference between the protagonist and antagonist anymore. His hands didn’t return to your hair, and that somehow made you even more annoyed.

“What’s up?” Corpse quietly spoke up, barely over the volume over the already quiet movie.

“Nothing.” You said, quicker than you wanted to, and you bit your tongue in cringe when you realised it was an awful lie. Corpse seemed to think the same.

“That’s bullshit. Seriously, what’s wrong?” He asked, and was met with pure silence. In reality, you were hoping he’d simply never realise you were somewhat jealous, because you knew you were being stupid and unreasonable, but you couldn’t help wanting him all to yourself. Admitting it out loud made it so much more real, and so much more embarrassing that you would rather bury yourself alive than admit to being jealous of Rae, of all people.

After a few seconds of silence, save the laughter of characters on screen, he spoke again.

“Are you jealous?” The hint of a teasing tone in his voice made you want to rip your hair out of your skull. Was it really that damn hard to believe that yes, you were jealous of an extremely close friend of his? Was it a crime?

The clenching of your jaw seemed to give Corpse enough of a response, and his hands returned to running themselves through your hair as he giggled to himself.

“What’s so damn funny?” You borderline spat, causing his movements to halt for a second before continuing with even louder laughter.

“I don’t know, just the idea of you being jealous of Rae is so funny. I’ve noticed the way you roll your eyes whenever I text her in front of you. You’re not exactly sneaky, you know?” His words made blood rush straight to your face, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. How long has he known this for?

“Sorry. I don’t…” you exhaled and attempted to smile. “I don’t know what’s up with me. I’m so jealous nowadays. I don’t even know why.”

“There’s enough of me to share with everyone, no worries baby.” he replied, teasing tone still yet to dissipate as you slap his knee in mock offense and he starts wheezing.

“Absolutely not! Fucking excuse you, I’m not sharing with anyone!” you gaped at him as he kept laughing.

That was the end of it - or at least Corpse thought so. Needless to say, he was wrong.

Your mood would instantly turn sour whenever he’d laugh at one of her messages, and you attempted to push down every eye roll whenever he’d sit on his phone, between your legs, back turned to you so you could see everything, and open Rae’s DMs again. Sometimes you managed, sometimes you couldn’t help it, but you did your best to do it whenever he wasn’t looking. Because you truly knew you were being unreasonable, especially whenever you have to relay situations like how he had to postpone a date one time because Rae asked him to play Rust for a bit longer and you almost ripped all your hair out of your skull in frustration back to your best friend who just turned Rae and Corpse into the villains in the situation because that’s what best friends are supposed to do.

Not like he was going out of his way to talk to her a concerning amount, they mostly talked in groupchats and on streams and that was only a few times weekly, but it did absolutely nothing to calm the green monster growing stronger in you every day, fed by every laugh she got out of him.

The green monster fucking loved it when Corpse excitedly announced to you that he’s finally meeting his friends for the first time, and by friends meaning Rae, Sykkuno and Karl. You, however… were far from impressed.

He paced around the room in excitement, a mix of obvious anxiety and joy evident on his face, and he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie with shaky hands as he very proudly announced that he would be the second tallest person in the room through a blinding, pearly grin, and seeing him so electrified couldn’t help but make you shut your jealous thoughts up, even if just for a little bit, and mirror his grin back to him.

What did, however, make you as anxious as him was when he announced they’d a) be coming to your shared apartment and b) making a cooking video - it sent you into a panicked mom mode as you dusted every corner of every room and vacuumed everything from the kitchen to the balcony and Corpse did nothing but record you as you anxiously rambled and laugh at you from his place on your bed.

When the dreaded Saturday finally came, and the first person to arrive, Sykkuno, rang your doorbell, you squeezed Corpse’s hand to stop him from nervously toying with his rings and opened the door, and you greeted the man like he was your own brother and not a person you’d seen probably a total of three times through the computer screen and someone who’s seen you maybe two times, from the pictures Corpse sent him, in your best attempt to make both of them more comfortable. It actually kind of worked - turns out Sykkuno is a pretty affectionate guy, too, and a conversation started as soon as he stepped in. Corpse gave you a look when you pulled away from Sykkuno’s half-hug, and you almost laughed out loud at the irony when his phone lit up with a notification from Rae announcing she was almost there at that exact moment.

She had kept true to her word; ten minutes or so later, another ring was heard and you gestured to Corpse to open it this time as you gave Sykkuno his cup of water and resisted any and every urge to roll your eyes or do something otherwise bitchy and stupid. Corpse did as told, and you watched them hug and listened to Rae squeal in excitement through the open door of the living room and decided to plaster a smile on your face for as long as you could muster before you remove yourself from the situation when they start filming.

Unfortunately for you, the first person she locked eyes with was exactly you, and they lit up an even prettier brown (if that was even possible) as she beelined to you and you barely got a greeting out before she engulfed you in a large hug, arms wrapping around your neck as she swayed both of you side to side.

“Oh my God, you must be Y/N! I’ve heard so much about you, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Rae cheered into your ear before she finally pulled back, before shooting an infectious grin at you that you couldn’t help but return back.

“All good things, I hope.” you chuckled as she moved to greeting Sykkuno, and nodded her head with an enthusiastic giggle of her own. You eyed Corpse for a second who simply leaned against the door frame, watching the whole thing unfold with somewhat of a proud smile on his face, before Rae turned back to you and your attention was on her again.

“Of course! Corpse is very much a simp for you, you know that?” She said and both you and Corpse laughed, especially him, who nodded his head in agreement as she sat back down, still beaming at you.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that.” you respond before turning back to Corpse. “Where’s Karl at?”

“He’ll be here in half an hour or so, he only landed recently.” he said. You nodded and moved to sit on a nearby chair to leave space for the guests on the couch.

Karl ended up arriving in twenty minutes and apprised everyone of the information that “his taxi driver is a psycho that, apparently, doesn’t fear stop signs or the police” before setting up the camera in your kitchen and tried his best to attach lapel mics on everybody (admittedly, it took way longer than it should’ve, but he eventually managed and that counted as a win in his book). You reluctantly agreed to be the judge of the finished product when they’re done cooking, and Karl was there for the purposes of being a cameraman and making jokes off screen so he agreed too, albeit way more enthusiastically than you.

The two of you sat behind the camera as the three of them lined up, Corpse wearing a mask and his signature eyepatch (that he didn’t really need, but those two did their job in preserving his privacy) and introduced what they were doing. Corpse was obviously very anxious, hands fidgeting constantly and shivering like a dog after a bath despite the hoodie he was wearing in 100 degree weather because of the shower of sweat that was now drying on his body, and that was partly why you were there, supportive smiles, encouraging cheers and all.

They were making Mexican ground beef tacos, and despite knowing Corpse can barely make a sandwich without setting at least two dishes on fire, you still cheered him on proudly and repeated he was part Mexican himself roughly 5 times a minute, claiming he was going to kill it.

“Kill it? More like kill one of us- CORPSE watch what you’re doing with that fucking knife! You’re proving my point!” Rae yelled at him as he giggled in delight, watching the woman gape at him in pure horror and Sykkuno watch his movements completely entranced as he played with the knife in his hands.

“You’re just mad that he’s going to make tacos fifty times better than you.” you said to Rae, chewing down on some M&Ms that Karl and you shared (both of you decided on a genius plan - you’re going to eat the whole bag before they’re done with cooking so you can claim you’re full and therefore can’t eat the atrocity that will most likely be the tacos).

“Don’t gas me up like that, Y/N, you are well aware I’m shit at cooking. Expect absolutely nothing from me.” he replied over the sizzling of the meat on the pan, throwing a whole spoonful of chili powder into it, earning loud yelling and scolding from your side and loud laughter from Rae.

“HALF A TEASPOON! Half a teaspoon, how have you not remembered this already?! We’ve made tacos a million times now, oh my God, you’re actually stupid.” you yelled at him, arms flailing in the direction of the seasoning to emphasise your ‘half a teaspoon’ point as Rae doubled over in laughter and Sykkuno looked into the pan with a concerned and somewhat afraid look. Just as he peeked in, the overwhelming smell of chili powder started biting away at his eyes, and he jumped away with a yelp.

“Jesus, Corpse!” he exclaimed, rubbing his eyes with his forearm as the whole room burst into laughter and Corpse suspiciously inspected his beef.

“What were you saying about your ‘Mexican king’, Y/N?” Rae asked, pulling out a few tortillas and putting them on the table. You huffed, grabbing another handful of M&Ms.

“Giving him up to God. He’s the only one who can help, at this point.” you said. She giggled in response and Corpse let out some sort of protesting sound and waved his knife around in complaint. “I don’t know who this man is. He broke into my kitchen and now I’m here.”

“Hey, I pay half of your rent!” he said, and you were about to reply but Rae dropped her meat into a pan full of overheated oil, and a loud hiss and some sort of a scream overtook the room as a cloud of steam shot into the air and she frantically looked around for the wooden spoon so the meat wouldn’t stick to the pan. You simply sat and laughed, eating the candy like it was popcorn and you were watching a shitty cooking show - it wasn’t that far from reality, really.

“Um, I just realised I don’t make many tacos, actually.” she said as she helplessly stirred the meat, turning to you with pleading eyes. “What seasoning even goes into this? Y/N, will you help me? Let’s team up against Corpse!”

You tilted your head in thought, but before you could even speak, Corpse spoke up.

“That’s not fucking fair, that’s-that’s against the rules.” he turned to you. “You won’t betray me, right?”

You laughed at him, adjusting in your seat. “I gave up on you ever since you added, like, 3 kilos of seasoning into the meat for no reason.” then you turned to Rae. “Sure, let’s do it, babe.”

Their loud yelling immediately started mixing, Rae’s cheers contrasting Corpse’s protesting. She stuck her tongue out at him meanwhile Corpse shot her the middle finger, and she turned back to you with a grin.

“Alright, what do I put in?”

Roughly twenty unnecessary and extremely long minutes later, the tacos were done, two each for each of them. Rae’s looked the best - probably because you guided her through the whole thing - next to Sykkuno’s, whose you were genuinely intrigued to try. While Corpse was arguing with Rae, he burned roughly half of his already ruined beef, and Karl made the very nice observation that it looked like a bird shat in a tortilla, which you proclaimed as the highlight of the video.

Since you and Karl claimed you were full, the three of them simply swapped tacos between each other as to be unbiased, and the two of you watched in amused suspense. You were actually quite interested to see what the end results were - you were first anxious and quite annoyed you even had to participate in the first place, because it meant losing your mind from jealousy, watching Corpse and Rae giggle and act all domestic while cooking, but jealousy simply dissipated somewhere half through the video as you watched the three argue if cheddar cheese belonged on tacos or not and Rae laugh at every stupid joke you cracked. Now, you sat, fully immersed as you stared at Sykkuno’s face; the poor guy ended up with the misfortune of having to try Corpse’s taco first.

“Zoom in, zoom in!” you whispered into Karl’s ear who complied and zoomed into Sykkuno’s face. He bit into the taco, chewing for a second before his face twisted in disgust and you began wheezing when he grabbed a tissue and spit it out, immediately grabbing his glass of water. Rae laughed at him as well, mouth full of his one, which she claimed she actually liked but it wasn’t as good as the “Y/NRae-co” as she proudly called it. Corpse silently ate Rae’s taco and refused to give a review on it because he was upset he got defeated, but the fact that he scarfed down the whole thing in a minute or so was enough of a review.

“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad.” Corpse exclaimed when he saw Sykkuno’s bite in the tissue, grabbing the second taco he made and biting down on it. The whole room burst into laughter when he roughly swallowed, tears obvious in the one eye that showed, because of the overly spicy beef.

“What are you motherfuckers laughing at? It’s not that bad, I stand by tacorpse.”

“Tacorpse is actually genius. The one good thing you came up with during the entirety of this video.” Rae said and Corpse mumbled a fuck you in response.

“Well, I think we can all agree that me and Y/N’s taco was clearly the best.” she said, clasping her hands together.

“I actually think mine was better.” Sykkuno said, to which she pushed his plate out of the frame.

“Nobody asked you anything.”

“Don’t bully Sykkuno, I’ll fucking kick you out.”

“Oh yeah? I’m pretty sure Y/N would kick you out before they’d let you kick me!” Rae said, accusingly pointing her taco in Corpse’s direction.

“Alright, let’s wrap up the video.” Karl laughed behind the camera, and the three of them all turned to properly face it and end the video.

“Thank you all so much for watching, this has been an… interesting video, to say the least. Uh, thank you to Karl for filming this whole disaster, thank you to Corpse,” Rae gestured in his direction, “for lending us his kitchen, thank you to Sykkuno for probably getting us more views on this video, and also a big thank you to Y/N, Corpse’s better half for making this video way more interesting and helping me make probably, like, the best taco I’ve ever made.” she grinned and you shoved a peace sign in front of the camera.

“If you liked this video, check out Sykkuno and Corpse’s channels, they will be linked down below, and please click like and subscribe to support the channel! Again, thank you all for watching, see you later, bye!” she finished, and with that, Karl turned the camera off.

Silence engulfed the room. You sighed.

“Alright, who’s gonna clean this shit up?”

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x female reader #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband fluff

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ssa-thotchnerr · 3 years

Text

A Certain Hopelessness

Aaron Hotchner x Daughter!reader

Warnings: angst, kidnapping, violence, swearing, sad!hotch

a/n: some sad Hotch stuff for your angst needs!! Also, there is a creepy unsub here, just a warning. This is set in around s7 and the reader is 15-16

word count: 2.1k

—

There was a feeling of hopelessness that had settled within the BAU over the past 2 days. A feeling of helplessness that was most felt by Aaron Hotchner, who'd been listening to his daughter screaming in pain, begging for him to come and save her. The whole team had the same thought in their head;

They couldn't come and save you because you'd been hidden so well.

But that didn't mean that they weren't going to try, they would try their hardest to find and save the little girl they'd watch grow up for years. But they also know that they couldn't save every single person, they just hoped that you wouldn't be that next person that they couldn't save. No one had even tried to get Hotch to move from his position at the round table, he'd told them that he wouldn't leave you, even though you had no way of knowing that he was there.

He would always be with you.

—

You'd pulled your knees up to your chest to try and obtain some body heat, since sitting on a cold, concrete floor of a basement where it was always constantly breezy didn't give you much of a high temperature. You wished that you hadn't left school early, maybe then you wouldn't be in your current situation.

"Good morning," You looked up at the door at the top of the stairs in fear, seeing the shadow of your kidnapper standing in the door. You winced as you pushed yourself into a corner, trying to make yourself as small as possible. He laughed as he stepped down the creaky stairs, and you saw the silver glint of a knife in his hands. "I hope you slept well, you got a long day ahead of ya'."

"Pl-please don-don't hurt me, I-I won't try to run again! I-I promise," You stuttered, fear filled eyes looking up at him. Through the little light in the basement, you could see the malicious grin on his face. "I'll-I'll do whatever you want, just-just please don't ki-kill me." You begged.

"Oh honey, I don't know if you got this, but I'm not gonna kill you, mainly because I wanna hurt your daddy," He said. "Make him feel like the awful person he is."

"This is about my dad?" You asked him, letting yourself relax a tiny bit. He nodded and crouched down in front of you, pulling you forward by the collar of your no bloodied hoodie.

"Damn right this is about your dad," He snarled, pushing you back into the corner roughly. "Don't you feel awful when he leaves you and that little brother of yours own your own? But then again, he worries about what you'll do to the only child he cares about, he couldn't give a shit about you." You blinked and couldn't help but furrow your eyebrows, feeling your heart sink. You shook your head as you looked up at him.

"Wh-what?" You asked quietly. He chuckled at your confusion and obvious hurt, his plan coming together. He was reversing everything you'd ever known, he knew that your dad loved you and Jack equally, but he could easily make you believe that your dad hated you with every single fibre of his being. He knew you were easily manipulated, and he knew exactly what to say to get you upset.

"Don't act like you don't know, darling. Your dad despises you, he hasn't even got that team looking after you," He said. Your eyes filled with tears as you thought about being left with this man a minute longer, but it hurt even more to think about that your dad didn't care about you enough to look for you. "They left on a case this morning, he told them you didn't matter."

"You-you're lying," You didn't know if you were telling him that he was, or you were trying to convince yourself that he was. "My-my dad wouldn't leave anyone." You said. He chuckled and came closer to you.

"Well, maybe you aren't anyone, you've never appeared to be to your dad," Tears leaked from your eyes as he'd finally, truly broken you down. "Why are you crying? I haven't even started hurting you yet."

—

Hotch couldn't bare to watch this man hurl abuse and untrue thoughts at you much longer, he couldn't watch you be broken down anymore. He shut his eyes as he heard you start screaming, presumably in pain. There was a knock on the door, Hotch spun around on the chair he was sitting on to see who was there.

"Sir, we think we've found a possible suspect on who has Y/N," Garcia told him. "Based on what he'd said in the video earlier, we found that he believes your a bad father to her and Jack, and that she'd be better off with him," She said. It didn't take a criminal profiler to see the hurt flash on the normally stoic Aaron Hotchner's face. "So, taking information with males that had lost a child, we found Craig Brock, he lost his daughter Leona in a car crash last year, And she shares a very, very striking resemblance to your daughter,” Garcia watched as Hotch took in what she was saying. “And with that, Reid determined tha5 he wants you to feel the same helplessness that he had felt when he lost his daughter.” She finished, sliding a picture of the girl across the table to her boss. Hotch took the picture and saw the resemblance, he sighed. He didn't want you to share the same fate as this girl, he didn't want to lose you.

"Do you have an address yet?" He asked.

"I'm working on it sir, but you should have her back by the end of the day," Garcia said, smiling at Hotch, who gave her a small sliver of a smile in return. "You should probably turn that off, or at least go home and see Jack, if anything happens with Y/N or our Unsub, you'll be the first to know." Hotch sighed as he turned the TV off, turning the volume down and standing up.

“I never thought the day I’d be taking orders from you would come, Garcia,”

—

You grunted as you finally built up enough strength to rip the sleeve off of your hoodie so you could wrap it around your waist where you had been slashed. His words had echoed in your head since he’d even muttered them, did your dad even care about you? Were the team even looking for you? Hell, were they even in the country? You broke down into tears again, your blood coated hands coming up to cover your mouth. They fell back down to your sides when the door was yanked open, almost coming off of its hinges.

“Get up!” He snarled, huffing out in anger when you pushed yourself further into the corner, making yourself as small as possible. “I said, get up.” He practically growled. You sat still, crying out in fear when he grabbed the collar of your hoodie and pulled you up onto your feet roughly.

“Okay! Okay! I-I’m sorry,” You whimpered, holding your hands out in fear. He dragged you up the stairs, you crying all the way up as the pain from your wounds shot up.

“Looks like I was wrong about your dad not caring for you, he and his team are on their way here,” He said in your ear, his arm snaking around your neck and then his free hand holding a gun to your temple. You were shaking, your entire body trembling with fear. “He’s not gonna know what to do when he comes through that door, you’re cut up like a piece of paper.”

“He’ll probably fucking kill you,” You snarled. He was taken back by your sudden change in attitude, and righted his arm around your neck and pushed the barrel of the gun closer to your head.

“Anymore of that, and I’ll put a bullet through your skull,” He said in your ear.

That shut you up quickly.

It felt like hours before the door creaked open, and from the back room, you could see that Emily, Morgan and Reid were entering the house.

“Help! Help!” You screamed, only for a hand to be clamped over your mouth and to be thrown to the floor. His foot was on your neck, a gun pointed between your eyes. Emily, Morgan and Reid all cornered him, their eyes watching as you struggled to breathe, coughing and gasping as you tried to bring air into your lungs. You were beaten black and blue, and covered in blood, they almost didn’t recognise you.

“Craig Brock, let Y/N go,” Emily said calmly. “We know what happened to Leona, and we know that there was nothing you could do to help your daughter. Do you really wanna put another father through the pain of losing their child?” She asked him. In a moment of hesitancy, he removed his foot from your neck, allowing you to cough and then slide away from him. In what seemed as though a move of panic, he shot down at the floor, narrowly missing your head, but just clipping the side of your ear. A ringing noise deafened you, and you screamed.

—

Hotch felt his heart drop as he heard a gunshot and then a scream. Emily had ordered him to stay outside, she didn’t want him doing something that he would end up regretting. Minutes later, the front door opened again, only this time you were there, Spencer’s arm around your waist to support you and your arm around his shoulder. Walking out of there, you looked so small and scared. There was no way that Hotch couldn’t run towards you, gently taking you from Spencer.

“Da-daddy?” There was a small smile on your face as you saw the blurry figure of your dad. Hotch smiled in relief and nodded, arms going around you gently so’s not to disturb anymore of your cuts or slashes. “You-you came.” You stuttered.

“Of course I came, I wasn’t gonna leave you, honey,” He assured you. You couldn’t properly hear what your dad was saying, but you could make it out. “Alright, let’s get you to the hospital.”

“Can you carry me?” You asked, holding your arms out to him. Hotch nodded and lifted you gently, holding you close like if he let you go, he’d lose you once again.

“Can I see Y/N yet?” Jack asked his dad. Hotch smiled as he nodded at his youngest child, who was clearly eager to have his older sister back. Hotch was getting Jack from school while you were asleep at home, with every door and window locked to improve your safety.

“Yeah, she got home this morning after I dropped you off at school, she’s been missing you too,” Hotch told Jack. When they got home, Jack practically shot upstairs. “Jack, do not go into Y/N’s room.” Hotch called up to him. Jack sighed as he waited for his dad to come up the stairs.

“Can I go in yet?” Hotch laughed as he nodded, opening the door to your room and sighing at you when he saw you were now awake, Greys Anatomy playing on your TV. “Y/N!”

“Hey bubs!” You cheered, smiling at your brother as you pulled your brother up onto your bed. Hotch sat down on the end of your bed and took the TV remote turning it off. “Dad.” You whined.

“You’re supposed to be asleep, Y/N,” He reminded you. You sighed as you flopped back onto your bed.

“Can I stay here?” Jack asked, looking at your dad. Hotch shook his head.

“No, Jack, Y/N has to try and get some sleep,” He said. You pulled Jack to sit beside you and you both pouted up at your dad, who sighed as he shook his head. “Fine, fine.”

“We love you, dad.”

—

#angst #criminal minds #hotch x daughter!reader #hotch x reader #hotchner!reader #agent hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #jack hotchner #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #Aaron Hotchner x daughter!reader

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angstyaches · 3 years

Note

Hey! Here’s the headache request #2 lol

Charlie or shayne (this feels more like Charlie to me, but whatever you feel like!) with an awful headache that is absolutely killer, and it’s lay-on-the-floor-of-the-bathroom-with-the-lights-out-and-cool-washcloth-over-the-forehead-time, except the other one doesn’t know that quite yet until they find them in pain and puking their absolute guts up, which cues lots of gentle caretaking, soft comforting whispers, and maybe camping out on the floor together until the poor kid is able to get some sleep and wake up feeling a little better.

Again, I'm so sorry for losing your original request! I didn't quite make it to the sleep/feeling better, because I felt it come to a natural end.

Word Count: 1458

CW: headache, emeto, demon possession, character needs help moving.

___

He gasped deeply, swallowing back a howl of pain. His stomach was lurching under his ribs, unable to still itself under the amount of pressure that radiated from his left temple.

It hurt, it hurt, it hurt so much that he couldn’t believe this was real, he couldn’t believe he’d ever known a time when his head hadn’t felt like it was being drilled into.

With clammy hands, Charlie felt around on the floor for the wet cloth that he’d been holding against his head before the vomiting had set in. It’d been his second course of action, after downing some ibuprofen (which were now swimming in the toilet drain), and before killing the bathroom light. He finally found it and dragged it towards himself, pressing it to his head and holding it up with an elbow on the toilet seat. Usually, he’d have shuddered in dread at the thought of putting a cloth on his face if it had just been sitting on the bathroom floor, but there was no room for pickiness now.

Besides, he was sure the floor had been washed that week. Yeah. Maybe.

An unproductive retch made his throat clench and forced his jaw open. He was almost relieved to think that he was nearing empty; once the nausea passed, he could focus on becoming a reclining statue on the floor again. Most annoying was the fact that the puking was a result of the headache, but was also making it worse.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the demon CT mumbled, Human bodies make no sense.

“Charlie, you okay?” That was a voice from the real world, specifically from the other side of the bathroom door. “You’ve been gone ages.”

Before he could even entertain the idea of responding, thick chunks rolled up Charlie’s throat and into the water. He dreaded to even begin to think what those chunks once contained.

“Charlie…?”

Before Charlie could protest, CT’s telekinesis kicked it and unlocked the bathroom door. Shit, he thought, flinching at the sound of the door clicking open. He yanked the cloth down over his eyes, desperate to keep his eyes covered.

“Don’t turn on the light,” Charlie hissed, feeling the demon’s energy kicking in to replace that which he’d already lost from his own body. The effort of talking was so intense, like every word was a kick to the inside of his skull with a steel-toed boot. He barely mumbled out a groan as he pushed himself upwards, his whole body thrusting back and forth lightly with the repeated spasms that went through his tummy.

“You’re sick?” Shayne mumbled, clicking the door shut slowly and cutting off the light from the landing.

“Mmhmm…” Charlie reckoned Shayne had figured it out hours ago, despite his best efforts to appear cheerful during the evening. It wasn’t often that Elliott and Felix made the trip out to Mulberry, and the last thing Charlie had wanted was for anyone to be worried about him. “Headache… bad one.”

As expected, Shayne let out a sigh. “You should’ve said something…”

“Please don’t yell at me,” Charlie gasped, saliva running down his chin as he hovered about the toilet seat.

“This is literally as quiet as I can –” Shayne shut himself up with a soft grunt. He knelt beside Charlie. It was obvious that he intended on rubbing his back while he continued to heave over the toilet, but Charlie had other intentions now that his boyfriend was here.

And by boyfriend, he meant human pillow.

The tiles were freezing as he lowered himself to the ground again. He’d sweat so much more since he’d started throwing up, and his clothes were a little damp and felt disgusting against his skin.

He didn’t really care about the rest of his body, though, as long as he could lay his head in Shayne’s lap. Shivers ran down his back, direct waves of tension that trickled down from his skull.

Charlie whined, low in his throat, as Shayne brushed his hair back from his forehead and laid the cloth across it. His fingers moved slowly and gently as always. It was as though Shayne believed Charlie’s skull was made of eggshell, and that it might have cracked and collapsed inwards if it was put under any serious amount of pressure.

Whereas honestly, it felt more like his head might crack from the pressure coming from the inside.

Even as he was lying still, Charlie felt like his head was being wrenched to the side, as though he was nailed to a turntable that was set spinning slowly. Only the sensation of Shayne playing with his hair kept him somewhat grounded, and even that didn’t feel like nearly enough.

“Just cut it off.” His voice was getting higher as time went on, like he was an old tea kettle slowly coming to the boil. “I want it gone, just – just chop it off.”

Shayne frowned. “Your hair?”

“My fucking head!”

“Sssshhhh…” Shayne’s fingertips glided down the nape of Charlie’s neck. In contrast to the light touch, Charlie could feel his own muscles tensing up, hard as rocks. Every inch of his body was reacting to the pain which, in itself, only really took up about one inch of his skull. "It's okay."

“It's not! I hate this,” he whimpered.

“I know...”

A low groan from the pit of his stomach alerted him to the fact that the convulsions were traveling through his insides again, and he choked on a sob. His head was still in pain after laying it in Shayne’s lap, but it was the most comfortable he’d been in ages. He didn’t want to get on his knees again and lose even more of his dinner.

His chest tightened with a hiccup. Shayne cupped a hand around his shoulder, ready to help him back up.

Charlie tried to hum in protest, but squeezed his lips together upon tasting acid on his tongue. His spine jerked him forward, curling him up even tighter. The cloth dropped off of his forehead again, but this time Shayne grabbed it before it could sit on the tiles for too long.

“Charlie –”

“I c-can’t, I can’t sit up!” He clapped a hand over his lips as his stomach clenched again.

“I’m so sorry, Charlie, just remember I love you.”

“Wh-wha –?” The floor suddenly seemed to tilt in the opposite direction, or maybe it was entire fucking planet, because Charlie suddenly didn’t know which way was up or down. He felt Shayne pulling his arm up around the back of his neck, dragging him to his knees and draping him over the toilet seat. Charlie could barely see for the stars exploding in his vision, but when sickly liquid clawed its way up his throat, he heard it hit another body of liquid at the bottom of the bowl. “Fuck…”

“You’re okay,” Shayne whispered, right next to his face. Charlie’s chin was practically resting on his shoulder. His arm was draped over Shayne’s other shoulder, like he was injured and being dragged off the battlefield.

He felt another wave of nausea bubble up under his ribs, his stomach letting out an uneasy gurgle. Charlie shut his eyes as a mouthful of bile stung his throat before cascading out of him. Needles of white-hot pain shot through his head.

A gentle knock on the door sounded like an elephant being dropped on the landing.

“Fuck – what?” Shayne hissed, turning his head to project his voice away from Charlie’s delicate eardrums.

“Is everything okay?” a voice asked from the other side of the door. Sounded like Felix. “Do you… need anything?”

Part of Charlie wanted to beg for some more ibuprofen to kill the agony in his head, but another wrenching pain in his gut told him it wouldn’t stay down this time either. He heard Shayne hesitate, probably having the same realisation.

“Water might be good,” Shayne said back.

“Blanket,” Charlie choked out softly. He had a horrible feeling he wouldn’t be moving from the tiles for a long time yet.

Shayne sighed again, rubbing a hand along Charlie’s spine. “And the blanket from the sofa, Fee.”

After chucking up another sliver of whatever was still in his stomach, Charlie turned his head and nuzzled into the hollow between Shayne’s shoulder and neck. His body would have crumpled to the ground if it hadn’t been practically tangled up with Shayne’s.

“P-please don’leave me,” he mumbled, realising his was slurring his words.

“Love,” Shayne whispered, sighing in the way he did that let Charlie know he’d just said something mildly infuriating. He wrapped an arm around Charlie’s waist and pulled him even closer, taking even more of his weight now that the sporadic vomiting seemed to have stopped. For now. “I’d never dream of it.”

#StW Charlie #sick Charlie #emeto #emeto sickfic #headache #headache hump #headache sickfic #whump #whump fic #emeto fic #demon possession #demon OC

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dykefoosh · 3 years

Text

Healthy Competition Transcript: 7/25/21

It's the entire thing so I hope this helps!

W: Hey.. Phil

P: Oh.. Hey

W: Hey, hey Phil how’s it going? How's It going man?

P: Oh, it's going, it's going alright.

W:I just thought I'd visit, Phil. I just thought you knew I would come and visit you. I haven’t seen you in awhile.

W: Phil I must confess I have come to you with a bit of a proposition. You into propositions Phil? Are you a proposition kind of guy?

P: Oh it depends depends, oh you, you’ve had some pretty lets just say not a great track record of propositions you’ve had in the past

W: I mean I’m trying to move past that. Listen Phil, I met Quackity after you kindly lent me your house, I went and met him, I met up with him, and I hadn't seen him in ages and it was nice, it felt good. He didn't seem afraid of me. Which is cool, not many people do. Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me?

P: No. No not at all

W: Good. Good because I’m not afraid of you. Uh.. Listen I met quackity and I hung out with him and I came to one conclusion about him and MY GOD the pricks resourceful aint he.

P: Yes.. he’s very.. he's one of the richest on the server at the minute. He's one of the richest people

W: What happened? What? You, you are telling me Quackity, the guy who made SWAG party, would be the richest man, geez I wouldn’t have believed you for a second but here we are.

But look, Phil, I am a bit of a propagator of the idea that capitalism shouldn’t be unchecked. You know the free market, maybe isn’t ever really that free you know. I am a bit into my interjection, you know the government interjection but there’s isn't a government anymore phi its anarchy it's pretty much what ah I see his name I see his name. (Ran boo)

P: Ha, Ha you see it

W: As much as I disagree with your opinions on anarchy. It's pretty harmless. I can’t hate you for it. I can’t hate you for literally living in a peaceful little village in the snow, I mean the server, it's never been this peaceful since the countries and nations and cities… So Phil I came to you with one question. Do you think quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked?

P: Uh no.

W: Do you think he should be allowed to grow? Oh you answered already. I agree with you Phil, I also don’t think quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked.

But you know what the problem is, there’s no Interpol, there’s no government, there’s no police force.. Technoblade spent this entire time taking down the establishment and what he's left with as predicted a POWER VACUUM for a new establishment to come in and this establishment is ahh ahh pretty unethical Phil its gambling, you a fan of gambling

P: Oh gods

W: This servers like 50% children Phil..

P: oh gods that's terrible.. yeah no that's awful.

W: ahh haha don’t sound too..

P: Gambling ruins peoples lives dude.

W: TRUE TRUE! And you know what He's getting away with , Phil. I have a proposition for you, I am glad you’re on my side and glad you agree with this Phil. I want to make a burger van.

P: Oh….

W I know when you heard of the burger van, you walked away. I get it. It's a bit of deja vu, but the difference is the burger van isnt gonna sell drugs. We are against toxic money making schemes now. We GENUINELY, genuinely selling burgers, I want to make burgers, I want to make every stake so it has a name. And. And uh (Wilbur re reads the book “Project Nevadas” Quackity left for him)

P: It definitely sounds better than the drug van,

W: yeah yeah yeah that's what I’m going to do Phil, but you see you need to understand I need someone to help me, because I’m not doing this for any reason outside of “I have an aspiration.. a goal in life to be a culinary expert” I want to be chef now Phil. I’m done now with being a President, being a government, being an authority, I want to be a burger man. I wanna sell burgers. That's my calling. That's been my calling all along. There's no ulterior motive behind this plan. I’ve got the real-estate, I’ve got the know-how and I’ve got the chutzpah (it's a yiddish word for guts basically woooo). Phil are you in?

P:I mean, ahh. You know I don’t know much about making burgers and burger vans, but I want to know who does?

W: Who?

P: Ranboo. He could help out.

W: what the fuck does he know about burgers?

P: he's literally the richest most knowledgeable person on the server besides me -

W: Phil you called - that's literally the second person you called the richest on the server. How does being rich climate him know about burgers?

P: Well you said you needed bread, you said you needed resources.. he has everything you could need.

W: What do you mean?

P: And also, he kinda knows… Right i'll be honest i'll be honest will, he's a little bit lonely, um there’s not much going on out here we are in a wilderness, a snowy blizzard wilderness right? Nothing goes on, nothing really happens here.

W: ha haha, sorry sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at him being lonely. That shouldn’t of tickled me.

P: He needs something to keep him busy, to keep him occupied. He's done everything on the server, he's literally done everything. Give him, give him something else to do. Have fun.

W: I don’t want to. I genuinely don't want to. He's weird Phil. he's the weird neighbor kid.

P: oh STOP no stop!

W: Look at him he's that weird neighbor kid who's got something going on, you know maybe in the basement or something there’s something going on right.

P: he's harmless he's harmless

W: he's harmless now, give him a burger van and he might spatula me. Phil looks at me. Can you imagine a spatula through my skull? Huh?

P: That's not gonna happen. He’s very nice. Go make friends. Alright

W: All I need is a fire aspect sword, a bunch of cows, an anvil and some levels and we can do this Phil.

P: And he (ranboo) can give you all of those.

W: Oh my gosh stop making me play with the neighbor kids.

P: Alright stop I’m putting my foot down. If you don’t go play with them right now, I’m kicking you out of the house.

W: What the fuck?! What do you mean? Kicking? You can’t just kick- ohhhhh

P: I can and will.

W: Phil I’m ah…

P: Be nice. Go say hi, he's great. He's a great guy

W: Look Phil I trust you, I'll trust you this much, and I'll trust you that he's fine and he can help me, BUT if he's shit, you gotta come help. You gotta be burger boy with me.

P: I’ll be around, I'll be around, he's fine, you'll be fine, you guys will get along so well.

W: Thanks Phil…

P: You got this Wil, bye mate.

W: I don’t really want… What is this, why is he treating me like a kid? Like a little baby? Oh shit he's got cows…. Ah aH oh god I wasn’t built for this (gets attacked by a spider which he then crits the spider) There we go.. My man got cows. This bread as well?? No,it's not that he can farm apparently. Wait, that is bread. Wait… was that fire aspect? Is this a set up? I guess I'll befriend him… Knock knock - oh

R: woah oh

W: Hi Ranboo

R: Woah hello

W: You remember me?

R: Yeah I remember you. How are you? Its been awhile

W: It's been a little while, I mean we only met once, I mean I was just coming through visiting me pa, in his little cottage in the snow, very cute in the snow isn't it?

R: Yeah it is very nice

W: I just happened to notice you have a lot of cows.

R: Yeah! yeah I have a nice little cow farm, it's been pretty good for food recently so its been kind of yeah.

W: Can you hit one of them with your sword again please?

R: You want me to kill one?

W: Yeah quickly

R: yeah okay

W: Ranboo, I have a proposition for you

R: Yeah what’s that?

W: I know we have not got off on the best of terms but I'd like to think bygones be bygones let's bury the hatchet, let's be..

R: Yeah

W: Ranboo I’m gonna go out on a limb here, do you want to be friends?

R: S- Sure. I don’t see why not. You seem alright.

W: Cool cool. Thank you, thank you, you seem alright too. Can I come inside?

R: Oh yeah sure sure

W: I have a proposition for you.

R: Do you like my live laugh love sign?

W: Why is life capitalized?

R: it's the most important one

W: Ha, living is the most important one, living Is above laughing and loving?

R: Yeah it's priority number one honestly I just look at it when I wanna know what to do.

W: ha, okay, look look my proposition to you, um (looking at the ranboo rug)

R: Yeah its um it's my nice little rug here

W: We, we will talk in the hallway, my promotion to you ranboo was, as I have a dream of being a culinary chef.

R: Oh really! Thats nice

W: I’ve been doing a lot of things on this server. You know? President, terrorist, dead.

R: yeah that's one of them

W: I feel like the next progression is chef. Every, you know the saying….

R: okay…

W: All musicians wanna be comedians, and all dead terrorist presidents wanna be chefs. So I decided I wanna be a chef.

R: Okay! Okay.

W: I want to be a chef for no other reason than I like cooking okay?

R: Cool!

W: All I need though, is I don’t have much to my name. I have a lot of stones, I have some TnT, I have some stone tools, and a rabbit's foot.

R: Oh okay.

W: But I don’t have the cows, I don’t have the fire aspect sword, and I thought if you wanted to we could um you could we could be business partners. I’ve got the real-estate. I’ve got a great location. It’s gonna be bustling, with people eventually, there’s gonna be people coming and going, hungry too! They’re gonna be coming and going, in and out and in and out and we’ll be here

R: Yeah…

W: And get the money! We will get the money Ranboo.

R: I mean yeah sure I’ve been needing something to do, I’m down for that. That would be cool.

W: Cool, cool come with me. I gotta show you the real-estate.

R: I’m actually really glad

W: I see this as the blooming of a brilliant business relationship or a business partnership. Have you heard of Las Nevadas?

R: ohhh… yeah, yeah I remember I had an old, old cookie stand there awhile back that we just decided to abandon because it was just.. it was more just trouble.

W: A cookie stand?

R: It was more trouble than it was honestly worth.

W: Wait, you tried? You had a cookie stand?

R: I mean yeah….

W: Outside of Las Nevadas? So you did the cooking?

R: Yeah it was a little, yeah

W: Outside of Las Nevadas?

R: Yeah but then, but then, he the guy Quackity, he got all up in arms about it and everything because we decided to expand a little bit and then we just decided it was, it was too much troubles so then we kinda just, we kinda just left it so

W: So he didn't like it? He didn't like your selling of a cookie stand?

R: Yeah he didn't like it all too much. I don’t, I don’t know what it was but like it was just eh it was just more dumb conflict but eh ti was whwatever.

W: Well that's fine, that's fine because we’re Ranboo we’re not gonna annoy quackity… we can’t annoy him because we are simply put, gonna be making, I got the real-estate and he gave me the area and we are going to be making a competing business.

R: okay…

W: Because competition makes business flourish, the consumer.. Do you like the consumer? You’re a bit- a big fan of the consumer ranboo?

R: Yeah yeah, I consume things from time to time

W: Look Ranboo the consumer, the consumer is the one who does well when there is um conflict and competition right?

R: Yeah that makes sense

W: So what I want to do is make competition right? So I want to make competition so when Las Nevadas fully opens up and you can go gambling and stuff I want to make it so that people have options so people don't just have to eat at las Nevadas grills and such. So if they want they can come to our grill,

R: Yeah that's good

W: and the difference is that is that we will make our grill better than theirs and we will make lots of money and then quackity will be able to you know maybe have to make a deal with us and to maybe be our friend and and

R: But we are gonna do this respectfully right? We are gonna do something smaller and everything right?

W: Yeah I have the land and we can make it small and honestly there’s no reason for us to go further out then we need to because you know we got the location. So have you ever been in Las Nevadas or gambling Ranboo?

R: Well no, no one has actually been there when I’ve been there.

W: It’s very fun, gambling is very fun.

R: Ah

W: Gambling is what I would argue like the only reason to go to this Las Nevadas place, I mean there’s nothing else to do there

R: Okay…

W: Its like its ll that happens you know

R: Yeah just gambling

W: There's a strip club there Ranboo

R: OH yeah! For logs

W: You- you into strippers?

R: Um I mean all it just does is make the wood look different so it doesn’t really do much

W: It does make the wood look different. You’re right, you’re right Ranboo. Would you say you like Quackity? Sorry I’m really bombing you with questions right now - eh I just wanna, I want to pick your brain. I wanna know how Ranboo works.

R: Hmm no its okay its okay. I’m completely okay with it, yeah. Um I think that I, hes, I mean the thing is I just haven't seen him in so like long you know the last interaction with him I had was before the stuff that happened with everything else it's just kind of been I don't know, we were part of the same cabinet with New Lmanburg or whatever it was.

W: Cabniet…

R: Yeah Canbiet it was like…

W: A canbiet? Was this with Tubbo…?

R: Yeah yeah he had like me, Fundy, I was the minutes man and I wrote stuff down well they never checked my notes so I don’t know how useful my job was honestly. I don't know if they actually needed me but I was there.

W: Yeah yeah I know that. I know that feeling.

R: Yeah

W: So you were part of the old Lmaburg government? I didn’t know that actually.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: I thought you were a bit of an independent. I thought you were you know… so you would say you are friends with Quackity?

R: I mean yeah.. I mean I’m not really TOO much against him, but I mean yeah

W: Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?

R: Not.. too much I dont think. I mean there are other people I don't agree with of course but I think everyones just a product of what they have gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand that, then you understand the person.

W: But don’t you think there’s sometimes allying yourself with everyone you know, it can actually make your life more complicated, more complex, more difficult…. more…

R: Yeah….. which is why I’ve kinda just went to live with Techno and Phil kind of away from everything. And try not to involve myself in that much. But then I just have a terrible radar of what is involving myself and what isn't so.

W: Right..

R: It's difficult sometimes.

W: It sounds like you set yourself up for a bit of a stressful, stressful life… So you don’t dislike anyone?

R: Yeah…

W: What about Dream?

R: Ummm yeah Well that's that. With Dream it's kind of like, all I’ve, all I’ve heard about Dream, all I’ve seen about Dream is just been the really bad things that he's done and everything so I would say I- I yeah I don’t really like Dream, but I mean he's also not really someone that it matters whether or not I like him because he's away in that prison for a very long time, so I mean, yeah.

W: With no trail.

R: Well I mean.. he… its

W: This is our competition Ranboo!

R: Oh!

W: Here's the competition

R: Okay. No ones really been here I dont think…

W: Can you even buy anything?

R: I don’t think they have half, half doors… they have

W: Smokers, Furnaces, they don't, it's just nothing

R: Huh.

W: It doesn't benefit the consumer Ranboo does it? Imagine you come here gambling.. First off the fucking door is shut

R: Mhm

W: Wait there’s a hole…

R: ohh… uh? that's interesting. I haven't been here in awhile, I just haven't been outside in awhile honestly.

W: Are we allowed… in?

R: I dont… I dont know.

W: It looks like crap Ranboo. Don't bother, it looks awful.

R: Oh, oh okay. Okay.

W: The point is this does not benefit the consumer right? This building does not benefit the consumer, it's just made to look pretty and make the consumer feel like.. lee do a test. I can promise you me ol, or should I say new pal, that this sign, I guarantee will not go. That will be here forever and that will never leave. (Signs that say “closed forever” “Quackity burger place is crap” “Go behind this building to better burgers'')

R: It's.. I don't know if abandoned is the right word, I don't know what you call it.

W: There we go, I guarantee these signs will stay there because they don’t care about the customer. They only care about looking cool and ooh ooh we got a restaurant, no they dont.

R: Yeah no one is really keeping it up.

W: Let me show you the real-estate. This is the best part, so come with me. Bah bum ba bum bum bum bum ba Oh ranboo, do you see the cock ranboo?

R: Oh that's what that is? I thought it was a clock actually

W: See that cock?

R: Yeah I see it.

W: That's our border. Well, technically, this wood is our border. This area.

R: Okay.

W: This area is ours. I’ve been trying to think of a name for it.

R: Hmm

W: I’m thinking about Paradise.

R: Paradice…

W: How’d you think about Paradise Ranboo?

R: Well I mean it could be good word play with the whole gambling thing.. pair of dice.

W: That is good.. you, you really are a smart cookie, a smart kind of guy.

R: Thank you!

W: Well, this is where I’ve been sort of working. So this is sort of where Tommy and I have been working. Tommy sadly couldn’t be here to help me, and um let me show you where I think we should make the burger van.

R: okay

W: Well I think it should be, it's to be close to the border so that people can access it and then get straight back to gambling. The customer, the customer, is happy, the customer gets their burgers and then goes straight back to gambling. How about we build it here, right here.

R: Right here? Okay that works. So what do you have in mind, you seem to have a vision.

W: 1950s… burger, retro. Red and white stripes.

R: Red and White okay, I have Blue?

W:Blue…

R: I have blue.

W: I’m not a big fan of Blue.

R: oh okay well I don’t really know where to get a lot of red.

W: Flowers… I can get you red. Ranboo you seem to be proficient, you can start building the van I’ll be back.

R: Alright..

W: Also, also give me your fire aspect, I’ll get the beef and then we can begin and we can get the bread.

R: okay uh here

W: Ran-orad, Ranaord? Ranord.

R: I name all my things with different puns. It's just Ran and sword

W: That's good, that's a good one, new friend, I like it. This isn't drawing any parallels to your cookie shop right? This is a completely different feeling?

R: yeah no the cookie shop I’m pretty sure, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop to begin with… because it was a little fortified if i'm entirely honest…

W: Fortified?

R: yeah did you not see like oh! That giant stone structure as you came in here and walked around

W: oH wait, that's a cookie shop?

R: Yeah

W: I thought it was like a, I thought it was like a palisade

R: no I mean tubbo told me it was for cookies but I’m thinking about it now..

W: oh tubbo.. tubbo.

R: I don’t think it was

W: See I like tubbo man, he's strong headed and he doesn't let people push him around.

R: Yeah yeah

W: Did you learn a lot? Did you learn a lot from him?

R: Maybe yeah, I also just, if people aren't willing to change their views or anything I find it unnecessary to mindlessly argue so.

W: So Ranboo you say this yet you show up in all the conflict. I’m not I’m not coming at you like judging you, I'm not one to talk about conflict.

R: Mhm mhm

W: But when I think of Ranboo I don't think of what a calm guy who’s neutral and stays out of everything, I don't think of Switzerland when I think of you ranboo, I think I think you're a bit more dynamic than that, why do you claim that you’re so peaceful and neutral and yet you appear in almost every conflict the server has had since I died.

R: I mean ah, that's because I’m bad at avoiding the thing that I don't like, which is, I don’t know it's it's weird. It's a weird situation that it's mostly my fault but I’ve been doing alright with it recently. I haven't been doing too much to anger people I don't think but I think it's just because I really want to help sometimes and sometimes I let my desire to help people get in the way of what I have previously said or previously claimed about myself.

W: Ranboo? Why did you come to help me?

R: Well because I think, well I need one I kind of need something to do and this is pretty fun, I like building little things and everything although they may not look too good and also I just think you can I think you are an alright person you know? So I kind of wanted to get off on a better foot from what happened before.

W: Why?

R: Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me.

W: No no not the bit about the right foot, why don’t you think I’m a bad person?

R: Well I mean I think you did bad things but you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you’re changed now. I mean if you ask me to talk to the older Wilbur before you died, for a little bit then yeah I would think you’re kind of not a good person.

But I think now you’ve apparently been away long enough, that I think if anyone goes away long enough for that long of a time that eventually they’ll have a thought of their morality, and everything and become a better person because of it. So, I'm hopeful. I’m hopeful. I like having a good amount of optimism.

W: Cool.. ah cool that's nice, thank you.

R: Yeah!

W: Uh, I think I needed to hear that, I’ve um, can I be real with you? Sorry Ranboo, you really got me. Fucking hell can I be real with you man?

R: Yeah sure.

W: I think I scare people.

R: I mean, yeah I do the same thing

W: No no, I mean I don't think I, I think a lot of people share your idea in trying to try… to keep me from hurting you know? They have seen what I can do and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.

Do you know I demolished his house and brutally ignored him? He fought for my country! And I ignored him. I didn't look at him. I didn't give him so much a medal, I didn't give him so much a rank, I gave him the lowest rank in the cabinet, and do you know what it took? Do you know what it took for him to forgive me? A “sorry” And I’ve, I’ve spoken to Tommy about Jack Manifold, and Jack Manifold is NOT the sort of person to forgive with a sorry.

Can you imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold? What has Dream done to Jack Manifold huh? Barely anything. I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you wanna know why? It’s because Dream is in prison, and I’m not. Dream! He's had his comeuppance and I’ve not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for these people, they are just waiting for the next thing, the next slip up and Ranboo I’m not gonna fucking slip up Ranboo. I’m different.

I’m not Dream, god I wish I was. Sometimes I wish I was. I wish I had that comeuppance. But Ranboo I’m not Dream and I’m not gonna be Dream and that's ahhh. I am living in eternal limbo again. I’ve been through limbo. I'm out of limbo and socially I’m still in limbo and man hearing you say those words that you said to me, do you remember what you said?

R: Yeah… I do?

W: You said “I think people can change” that's number one

R: Mhm

W: And number two you’re “scared if people don’t like you”

R: Yeah

W: I’ve been investing, I’ve been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo. I’ve been investing in the wrong people. Were kindred man, we get each other

R: Yeah, Yeah I’d say so.

W: We have SO much difference, but you know what the one thing we got incommon? Our strongest point? And you mustn't take offense to this, okay?

R:Okay..?

W: Neuroticism. Me and you are just as neurotic as each other. Just as nervous but the thing is it’s not our downfall you know? Anxiety isn't necessarily an evil trait to have. Anxiety is what kept our ancestors alive Ranboo.

R: Yeah

W: You? Me? Your Parents, whoever they may be, my parents, do you know how they’re alive? Because they were anxious. They didn't let another thing kill them, they didn't let another thing take them down. Our ancestors, the cavemen in the woods or the cave enderman, were anxious when they heard the lion roar; they were anxious when the wolf howled. And you know what they did? They went inside and they hid and that's what they did and that's why we are here today. Ranboo me and you are neurotic, and that's why we are alive..right now talking to each other and doing this.

R: Okay…… I really, I really do hope that's um a good thing.

W: Sorry, ha, that's uh that might have come across- I’m really sorry I meant um, I’ll go get you some more red.

R: No no I understand what you mean I think, we both are kind of thinkers I think well yeah, we tend to think about a lot of things. Think about a lot of situations and how people are affected by said situations. How we can make things better and although we may think in different ways the fact we both, I think we both think at the same level just in different ways sometimes.

W: I think you might be a bit braver than me and showing your true colors. I feel like, I feel like with you Ranboo I never have to guess your next move. I never have to guess your hand, you know?

R: Yeah

W: I feel like, I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is you, you build your trust by showing people your cards whilst, I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the difference. But I’m gonna stop psychoanalysing you so

R: heh

W: And let's… let's, Ranboo how’d you feel about thievery?

R: Oh uh ooh, what types? What do you-

W: I’m going to steal Las Nevadas cows to cook our burgers.

R: Oh oh okay?

W: And I’m not going to re-breed them. I am going to simply kill them.

R: Alright I mean, so you are? Are you gonna steal all of them? Or just

W: Nahh just enough so it's annoying ya know?

R: Okay um

W: Unless, how about this if this makes you feel a bit less uncomfortable about it how about if I steal all the cows unless they have a sign on them that says “these cows are property of las Nevadas” then I’ll leave them alone so unless they have an expressed sign that says “do not steal please” I’ll leave them alone. But if not… it seems like a good idea

R: Okay yeah

W: You’re really good a building vans

R: Oh thank you

W: I’m pretty good at building vans too.

R: Okay.

W: Okay I’ve got the steak.

R: Oh, nice

W: Pretty good, is that enough red for you?

R: I just need something to put the red on

W: Oh cool yeah, I can go find you some wool.

R: There could be some chests around. You know I found a full netherite block in one the other day?

W: Wait what?

R: There was just another netherite block in one of the chests, it was very interesting.

W: I’ve just restocked for us.

R: Ohh, nice I’ll put some of our building materials here. Oh wow, wait did you get, did you get all of them?

W: Yeah heh, pretty good yeah?

R: Oh geez.

….. [Talk about Minecraft mechanics]

W: So this is your cookie factory, your cookie shop, your giant fortress

R: Yeah you realize a lot now that it’s a giant fortress. Sometimes, sometimes I don’t realize things until they’re an afterthought.

W: How is Tubbo?

R: He's um, alright. I think he's doing pretty well.

W: What is he up to right now?

R: He's um he's just building around Snowchester you know? Not really doing-

W: Snowchester?

R: Oh you- don't know about snowchester? It’s basically just like this little- it used to have some people but then everyone just kind of went off on their own ways. It’s just like this little arctic area, a village he created.

W: A town?

R: Yeah basically!

W: So, Las Nevadas, Snowchester, - I thought Techno and Phil told me they were successful? Well just Phil I haven't spoken to Techno since, since, it happened.

R: Mhm Well it

W: Phil told me they were successful and there's no more nations and that there’s anarchy here.

R: Well it's not a nation it's literally just- it's literally just him.

W: What about this Kinoko Kingdom I keep reading about?

R: I have no idea. All they put down there was just signs and I havent heard anything about that honestly.

W: So there’s, there’s a lot going on Ranboo. What part do you play? Go on, You can't be THAT neutral, if you’re not a part of Kinoko Kingdom, then you must be a part of something.

R: I mean I guess you could say I’m a part of.. Snowchester a little bit? I think I’m mainly just um with Phil and Techno I’m pretty sure. It’s mainly, it's mainly just them and everything. Because that's pretty much where I’ve been living for awhile and all so.

W: And now the Paradise Burger Van.

R: And now the Burger Van I guess yeah.

W: Good, good! I’m coming back. Do you need more red or?

R: No, we got enough.

W: Then the final step is to name the burger and name the beef!

R: Name, name the beef?

W: Oh so another thing I wanted to do is to legitimize our burgers so it's not just stake right is to make a uh name for all our stakes so when they've had it you know our stake shop that they know this is our stake shop, and only the high grade beef. So we are all gonna name the burgers with an anvil and I wanted, I wanted to give them like versions and wanted to use an alt code so that no one could copy it. So it's like “hey you’ve got a volume one steak, burger steak” so people would come and it's sort of an NFT value to it. A bit of a you know, once you’ve had volume one of burgers then that's gone forever like versions, is this making sense? Are you following?

R: Yeah this is making sense, I’m following I think

W: Cool cool

R: Yeah

W: What do you think of calling the burger shop?

R: Hmm

W: I’m thinking of either Paradise or Wilburger?

R: Well Wilburger is funny

W: Wilburger is funny but it doesn't take into account the work you put in.

R: Hmm maybe paradise burgers might be good

W: What about Wilbooger?

R: Will- Wait a minute but then that means we have booger in it, and then they will make fun of it.

W: Yeah yeah, paradise burger has a meaning behind it. So like, you know paradise next to Las Nevadas. Have a think

R: Paradise…

W: Weeeeeeeeeeee, ding dong we got everything we need. Right, let me go to an anvil and think of a name. This has been good, this has been chill.

R: This has been nice

W: I feel like we are good business partners. I’m excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?

R: Oh he's great. Tommys awesome.

W: Agreed

R: Yeah. Definitely gone through a lot but I definitely think that has made him a good person.

W: Mmm yeah well you seem to think everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said

R: Well I mean yeah. I mean if- if no one, the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because, just because then they don't really have any reason why you know? Those are in my opinion the bad people.

W: Right

R: I don’t really think there’s that many bad people like that so yeah.

W: Let me find an alt code, I want to find a cool alt code for the Wilburger, let's go for a sunbeam

R: ooooh

W: This is sexy, what I've done. Here we go here we go The beef! The bread doesn't have to be named

R: yeah

W: It’s gonna be good. Here we go, here we go. Look at this!

R: Oooohhh thats cool

W: No ones copying that

R: Yeah especially the thing in the eye as well.

W: It's a watermark no one, no one can copy it now so we can sell those with one slice of bread on either side and that's our thing. That's our shtick.

R: Yeah I think thats good thats good

W: I think we are getting to the point Ranboo where we are almost done I mean I do have a question to ask you though

R: Yeah of course ask away.

W: Just gonna put the bread back. This is gonna be a make or break

R: Okay.

W: Come with me

R: Yeah

W: This really could be, could be a make or break. And what about the Wilburger Ran Van?

R: Oh thats good thats good

W: Cool cool, then we’ll have your name on as the co creator I won’t be ceo, I will be vice chairman of the wilburger ran-van corporation

R: Cool, awesome.

W: So here’s our completion ranboo you remember the signs?

R: Yeah? They are still there.

W: Yeah it's good innit? Ranboo I want you to smash the windows.

R: Smash the windows? Like how? How do you want me to do it?

W: Take this (gave ranboo a cobblestone block) hold it in your hand

R: Okay

W: Now break the window.

R: okay

W: More

R: Do more? Okay

W: A lot more

R: keep going? Oh uh oh

[Wilbur places down TNT in a corner of the competition restaurant]

R: Are you sure about that one?

W: Come here

R: Oh? Okay

W: You trust me alright?

R: Yeah?

W: Detonate that, its only in the corner to prove we are not fucking around

R: I mean it's just in the corner right and then it will, it will drop all the blocks

W: Yep

R: And then we can put it somewhere

W: We can put it in a chest next to it.

R: Okay.. ohh Careful! [Wilbur stood really close to the TNT so he took damage]

W: It’s alright

R: That was a little bit more than I thought

W: Picking up those blocks

R: Yep, I think we can just put them in the chests here I think.

W: Okay I’ll fill this in, you passed the test, good job man. You can go back to the van, I’ll be back there soon. Ranboo

R: Yeah?

W: I’m proud of you man. You, you’ve taken a side, you’ve proven you can choose a side and I’m proud of you.

R: Thank- Thank, thank you. I haven't-

W: You’ve got something to work for.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: I’ll see you around. I’m gonna head off after I fix this but you get to work on the Ranvan. See you soon.

R: Yeah I’ll get to work, see you soon, buh bye

W: see you soon man.

[Wilbur breaks one of the signs placed down from earlier then goes to the explosion site and writes a sign with the NFT symbol saying Wilbur + Ranboo Did this together and places a chest to put the exploded materials in a chest along with two diamonds]

W: ahh, I love that guy.

#wilbur soot #ranboo #ranvan #wilburger #philza #c!wilbur #dsmp transcript #transcript #dsmp #las nevadas #quackity #c!ranboo #c!philza #tubbo #this was fun #I also have this in a google doc just ask in my asks and ill post it

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