#they have to be a reflexion of life and life is SAD! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writer-of-random-things · 4 months

Text

On Muddy Trenches & Middle-earth

I recently finished All Quiet on the Western Front for school and my only thoughts are: A) I should have never gotten emotionally attached to a war story, and B) the book made me understand The Lord of the Rings so much more. I know Tolkien stated the the LOTR was never allegorical, and so it may be; but meaning there is. So obviously, I'm going to write about it: how the 'lost generation' is reflected in Middle-earth, the beauty of comradeship, and maybe most importantly, finding hope in the darkest of times.

Paul Baumer, the protagonist of All Quiet, was goaded by his schoolteacher to enlist for WWI only to find out its realities as everything he loves gets destroyed. Although this is very different from Frodo's story, the emotion, the trauma, and the comradeship both of these characters went through is something that will be remarked on time and time again.

When people talk about Tolkien, WWI, and LOTR, they most often draw the connection between the Dead Marshes and No Man's Land. After all, the Dead Marshes are described as such:

"They all lie in pools, pale faces, deep deep under the dark water...grim faces and evil, and noble faces and sad. Many faces proud and fair, and weeds in their silver hair. But all foul, all rotting, all dead."

Meanwhile, No Man's Land in All Quiet is described as:

"Thus we stagger forward, and into our pierced and shattered souls bores the torturing image of brown earth with the greasy sun and the convulsed and dead soldiers who lie there--it can't be helped--who cry and clutch at our legs as we spring away from them."

The land is barren, people are dead. And the protagonist of both stories have to trudge through the wasteland without looking back. Furthermore, All Quiet Chapter 9 has Paul stabbing a French soldier in a fit of panic, only to have to watch him slowly die. Paul laments:

"Comrade, I did not want to kill you...we always see it too late. Why do they never tell us that you are poor devils like us, that our mothers are just as anxious as ours, and that we have the same fear of death, and the same dying and the same agony--Forgive me, comrade, how could you be my enemy?"

This is quite similar to Sam's reaction when he sees a dead soldier; Tolkien writes,

"It was Sam's first view of battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it much. He was glad he could not see the dead face. He wondered where the man's name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil at heart, or what lies and threats had led him on the long march from home; and if he would rather have stayed there in peace."

The above connection was first brought to my attention in Tolkien in the Twenty-First Century: The Meaning of Middle-Earth Today by Nick Groom, though I selected the quotes myself. Yet that is not all. Before we delve into the beauty of Sam and Frodo's friendship, I want to focus on Chapter 10 of All Quiet, where the soldiers get to guard an abandoned village (with lots of food, no less!) and continue to cook while shells are falling amongst them. They take refuge in a dugout, where they have a feast. Why is this important? Because the dugout is basically a hobbit-hole. A hobbit-hole is cozy, with food and warmth; the ideal of an idyllic home, even if the rest of the world is going to shambles. @moonlightredfern said it best, in a reply to this post. It's a testament to all the cold and miserable days, dreaming of a better time where everything is nice and cozy. It's deciding that the simple joys are worth risking your life for--indeed, that such tiny moments is what makes life worthwhile in the first place.

The same sentiment can be applied to friendship. Tolkien himself said that Sam was "a reflexion of the English soldier, of the privates and batmen in the 1914 war, and recognised as so far superior to myself". Sam's humble origins in the Shire brings into mind a scene of Paul's thoughts when he encounters Russian prisoners:

"They ought to be put to threshing, reaping, and apple picking. They look just as kindly as our own peasants..."

Like the soldiers, Sam could've stayed a gardener for the rest of his life; he comes from the same simple origins they do. Despite all the odds, they both go into battle; more importantly, they both rely on comradeship. And that makes all the difference. For both Paul and Frodo, friendship is what makes their battles bearable. Take Chapter 5 of All Quiet, when Paul is cooking a goose with his friend Kat:

"...we have a more complete communion with one another than even lovers have. We are two men, two minute sparks of life; outside is the night and the circle of death. We sit on the edge of it crouching in danger...in our hearts we are close to one another, and the hour is like the room: flecked over with lights and shadows of our feelings cast by a quiet fire."

Friendship is the flame that keeps out the dark. Gollum only became the creature he was because he was alone while the ring slowly corrupted him. But Frodo had Sam. And Sam would not have grown as much as he did, would not have been a brave as he was, without Frodo. The same is for Paul; when the only thing he has left--his friend Kat--dies, Paul says, "All I know is that Militiaman Stanislaus Katczinsky is dead. Then I know no more." Without friendship, life sparks out. In its fragility, maybe, lies its beauty: that moments and memories between two people are as magnificent as life itself. This connection, in a way, is one of the most important things in both stories.

Finally, I want to touch on my favorite chapter in All Quiet, and its connection to the ending of The Return of the King. In Chapter 7, Paul returns home, only to find out that nothing was the same as it was. Everybody treats war as a glorious thing when Paul has seen what it really is. He feels lost and disconnected:

"I...say over to myself: 'You are at home, you are at home.' But a sense of strangeness cannot leave me, I cannot feel at home amongst these things. There is my mother, there is my sister, there is my case of butterflies, and there the mahogany piano--but I am not myself here. There is a distance, a veil between us."

For refrence, let's just compare this to Frodo's lines near the end of RoTK, shall we?

"But I have been hurt too deeply, Sam. I tried to save Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me."

I don't think I have to explain this much. It speaks to the lost generation of WWI veterans as a whole; after all the pain and torment, battlefields filled not only with blood but also broken dreams, how does one pick up the threads of an old life? It makes sense, then, that both Paul's and Frodo's stories do not have a 'satisfying' ending that readers would like to see. Instead, they portray the reality of trauma and healing--or rather, the absence of it. Yet both tales are not devoid of hope. Paul states that all his experiences would be worthwhile if he could make sure that nobody could experience what he has again:

"A word of command has made these silent figures our enemies; a word of command might transform them into our friends...I am frightened: I dare think this way no more...I will keep them, shut away, until the war is ended. My heart beats fast: this the aim, the great, the sole aim, that I have thought of in the trenches; that I have looked for as the only possibility of experience after this annihilation of human feeling; this is a task that will make life afterward worthy of these hideous years."

In addition, hope has been pervasive throughout the entire LOTR trilogy, even when fear and despair have the upper hand. Hope is not a passive act; it is a decision of will, a choice of a small, unsurprising hobbit that said, "I will take the ring, even if I do not know the way." It is symbolized in Sam carrying Frodo up Mount Doom, of Eowyn and Faramir overcoming their past troubles and finding each other, of a group of people that saved the world because they dared to try.

I think the most important thing to keep in mind when comparing All Quiet on the Western Front and The Lord of the Rings is that they are two works with different purposes, yet their authors lived through similar circumstances. The thematic motifs of friendship, hope, trauma, and violence are still relevant today. Perhaps Paul's hope for the future, as well as the Fellowship's determination to see the quest to be end, can be summarized by the oft-repeated words of Gandalf:

'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo. 'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for us to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'

#lotr #tolkein #tolkien meta #frodo and sam #all quiet on the western front #im westen nichts neues #look I just wasn't expecting a book I read for school to hit me this hard okay #I think this calls for a lotr reread

13 notes · View notes

madeofcc · 2 years

Photo

HAPPY SIMBLREEN 2022 ♥

AN A24 PICK’N’CHOOSE SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU, CREATURES OF THE NIGHT !

As you can see, this year, I chose the studio a24 as a reference for my simblreen treats. What’s a24 ? An independant movie production studio that produces the best (or at least, very original) indie movies of the last two decades. They release all kind of movies but I have to admit that the a24 thrillers/horror ones are part of the best I’ve seen the past decade. As I saw and loved most of them, I decided to share with you this little gift, also as a way to for you to discover all these powerfull movies. But beware, most of them might change your life ....

a24 isn’t properly horror as you can imagine it the old way ... a24 is more pschological, focused on trauma usually and really makes you think about what you’re seeing or have seen just after the movie ends.

Below the cut you’ll find the list of all the movies with a little synopsis and a personnal thought about it if I saw it (adding the numbers of swatches for posters and sweaters) and you can also check the sweater swatches.

Get and choose your treats HERE (SFS, no adfly, always free, NO SIMSDOM OR ANY KIND OF PAYWALL/WEBSITE THAT USES OUR CREATIONS TO MAKE PROFIT, do not claim as your own, etc ... Don’t be a dick honey)

+ 2023 UPDATE : Get your new posters ! Added Beau Is Afraid and Talk To Me !

GIFT 1 : 132 a24 movie posters ! A lot of different swatches so you can use it on a lot of different style of room / builds. They’re all free in game (that way your sims could enjoy some good art without losing money) and can be found in the posters category. (type Madeofcc or a24 to find them easily).

GIFT 2 : PEARL ♥ A lovely killer to download. I’m bad at making real people in sims so she’s more a lookalike than a real Mia Goth sim. All the cc are included. She has just one outfit though.

GIFT 3 : 40 @clumsyalienn Blanche Sweater recolour. I added to new swatches to the original cc so you don’t have the same cc twice in your game. Delete the old one if you have it, I kept the original swatches and added the a24 ones I made. They’re all black though as I didn’t know which colour to choose. Black is always essential.

List of a24 horror movies (in order)

Under the skin, directed by Jonathan Glazer (2014) - 1 sweater + 5 posters

An otherworldly woman preys on men in Scotland through seduction. (one of the first horror movie that made me sad at the end. The first part of the movie will make you have a loooot of questions about what’s going on until you get to the end and realize what you’ve seen ... It’s a powerfull tell about hunt, humanity and how beautifull and dangerous the world can be)

Life after Beth directed by Jeff Baena (2014) - 1 sweater + 5 posters

After his girlfriend dies and miraculously comes back to life, Zach takes the opportunity to experience all the things he regretted not doing with her before. (still have to see it ... But Aubrey Plaza is awesome in everything so this should be good. It’s a horror comedy)

Tusk directed by Kevin Smith (2014) - 5 posters

A podcaster is tortured by a strange man who plans to fit him into a perfectly constructed walrus costume. (you read it corrrectly ... one of the most disturbing movie I’ve seen in my life ! It’s basically some kind of human centipede thing in which a man is turned into a walrus of flesh and bones ! It is very disturbing but also has a strong reflexion on humanity. But seriously, think twice about watching it because you’ll never forget it)

The VVitch directed by Robert Eggers (2016) - 4 sweaters + 5 posters

In the 17th century, a Puritan family encounters forces of evil in the woods beyond their New England farm. (I discovered one of my new favourite director and actress with this first movie ! The Witch is not like any other witch movie that will make you see an old creepy woman do horrible things ... Evil is more insidious and the director makes you think about you’re seeing/happening most of the time. The end is awesome and Anyah Taylor Joy really shows that she’s one of the best actress of her generation in just one take. Would you like to live deliciously ?)

Green Room directed by Jeremie Saulnier (2016) - 1 sweater + 5 posters

A punk band finds themselves attacked by neo-Nazi skinheads after witnessing a murder at a remote club. (one of the last Anton Yelchin’s movie. It’s raw, violent and with a permanent tension ! The cinematography is awesome, you really have that green effect all along and, let’s face it, seeing a bunch of racists getting killed by a punk rock band isn’t the hardest thing to watch, even though, the movie is really violent ^^’ it’s also good to see Patrick Stewart walking once in a while)

Into the forest directed by Patricia Rozema (2016) - 5 posters

Two sisters living with their father have their peaceful lives interrupted after a continent-wide power outage. (still have to see it because it hasn’t been release in France. I’m not sure it’s properly a horror movie but apocalypse is always a good theme, especially with two good actor/actress such as Elliott Page and Evan Rachel Wood. It’s also directed by a woman so support female director !)

The Monster directed by Brian Bertino (2016) - 1 poster

A woman and her daughter find themselves stranded at night with a malicious creature hunting them. (I didn’t like it in my memory. Saw it a while ago to see Zoe Kazan but it wasn’t what I expected. It’s just a personnal opinion though)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter directed by Oz Perkins (2017) - 1 sweater+ 4 posters

Two girls left behind at their boarding school over winter break must battle a mysterious force of evil. (I remember watching this movie because of Emma Roberts but I don’t remember the plot at all ... It might be good though, but it really didn’t make a place in my head I guess ...)

It comes at night directed by Trey Edward Shults (2017) - 3 posters

A family hides in a forest as the Earth is taken over by a highly contagious disease. (it wasn’t what I expected at all so in my memory I didn’t like it but the story is interesting and it’s all about what we think could happen and what especially happens in the dark. At the end, we’re facing a simple human drama. Devastating)

The Killing of a sacred deer directed by Yorgos Lanthimos (2017) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

After a cardiac surgeon befriends a teenage boy with a connection to his past, his family begins to fall mysteriously ill. (I could have included all Yorgos Lanthimos movies because they’re all a bit spooky in a way but this one is close to Funny Games, in a weird way. There’s not a lot happening and most long shot but the tension is permanent and the story, really, scary)

Hereditary directed by Ari Aster (2018) - 4 sweaters + 5 posters

A family is haunted by an evil presence after the death of their secretive grandmother. (this one really made a move in the horror genre. Ari Aster created one of the most terrifying film of the decade with this one that will probably haunts you as well after you saw it. Personally, I still have in mind a lot of crazy scenes, years after seeing them! The ending especially has traumatized me a bit ^^” it is very disturbing and a brilliant horror movie)

Slice directed by Austin Visely (2018) - 1 sweater + 2 posters

Following the violent murders of several pizza deliverymen, two survivors set out to catch the culprits. (Still have to see it, it’s a horror comedy)

The Hole in the ground directed by Lee Cronin (2019) - 3 posters

After her son briefly vanishes, Sarah begins to fear that the boy who returned may not be her son at all. (Still have to see it but looks like some kind of Babadook story around here ... Might be good)

Climax directed by Gaspar Noé (2019) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A French dance troupe throws a party that takes a dark turn after everyone consumes sangria laced with LSD. (Only saw the 15 first minutes. I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of this director, even though he really can be talented, his work is most of the time super violent and hard to watch so, beware before watching this one as well. I’m not sure I’ll ever watch that film again because I’m scared to see what could happen ><)

High Life directed by Claire Denis (2019) - 3 posters

A group of criminals is sent on a space mission, traveling towards a black hole. (I love Claire Denis and Robert Pattinson (except in Twilight) so this one was a good surprise ! This movie is the perfect example that you don’t need a big budget to actually make a good SF movie ! It was also a new way to see all the usual bullshit that can happen in space horror, mixed with a touch of french cinema so ... A real experience)

Midsommar directed by Ari Aster (2019) - 4 sweaters + 7 posters

A group of friends travels to Sweden for a festival that occurs once every 90 years, only to find themselves in the clutches of a Scandinavian pagan cult. (Ari Aster is back ! After the trauma of Hereditary, now we travel with Florence Pugh and her depression in Sweden for a bloody and very loooooong Midsommar ! This movie is an experience like no other. It’s long, around 2h30 and 3h if you watch the director’s cut (I saw both and the director’s one is kind of better with just little addition, anyway) The story is simple but the screenplay is well made and will give you the thrill without showing you anything but flowers and sunlight. The ending is shocking but a releaf for the viewer as well as for Florence Pugh’s character ... I still don’t know if I love or hate this movie though XD)

The Lighthouse directed by Robert Eggers (2019)- 4 sweaters + 6 posters

Stranded on an island, two lighthouse keepers descend into madness. (After The Witch, now the men ... This movie confirmed that Robert Eggers was a new director to follow. With The Lighthouse, Eggers creates a beautifull but terrifying piece of art here, with amazing actors (Dafo is, as usual, as brilliant as scary crazy, and Pattinson really shows a new card here but I won’t say more). This movie is kind of disturbing in a way that you’ll experiment the close space and environment where the characters live but you’ll also fall pretty deep into their insanity ...)

In Fabric directed by Peter Strickland (2019) - 1 sweater + 3 posters

A haunted red dress torments its owners. (I watched the first 40 minutes, which were weird. I love that we have a black female character for the lead but I was also very disturbed by one particular scene with an old white man so I kind of stopped the movie to watch it another time ...)

Saint Maude directed by Rose Glass (2021) - 1 sweater + 6 posters

Hospice nurse Maud, a recent convert to Roman Catholicism, becomes obsessed with saving the soul of one of her patients. (still have to see it but I always love weird creepy story about christians .... White people are the craziest ... Same vibes as the Servant serie)

False Positive directed by John Lee (2021) - 1 poster

A woman begins to suspect there is something sinister about her pregnancy. (still have to see it ... There’s Justin Theroux in it so at least there’s something nice to look at I guess ...)

Lamb directed by Valdimar Jóhannsson (2021)- 4 ADA sweaters + 5 posters

A childless couple in rural Iceland finds themselves parenting an endearing but unsettlingly humanoid lamb. (okay ... This one ... I saw it few weeks ago and it really was something. The story is very simple and could be resume in 2 sentences just to tell you the entire movie. It’s pretty long as there’s not a lot going on but the tension is weirdly permanent, you know that something is coming but you don’t know what, when, where ... Ada, the little Lamb, will first make you say “wtf” at least 15 times until you realise you’re as addicted to her as her adoptive mom ... Anyway, never fuck around with nature ♥)

X directed by Ti West (2022) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A production team filming a porno finds themselves in danger while staying in a secluded farmhouse in Texas. (One of the best surprise of the year ! I watch it mainly for the cast and also the see a bunch of people being killed by some old couple but I really didn’t expect that ! The movie takes a looot of time to settle everything to make everything kind of explode in a extreme rage at the end of the movie. The death are gory, violent and the characters are as well written as the already iconic vilain of the movie : Pearl ♥ Mia Goth and Ti West really created a new iconic horror vilain here that we actually would like to see more ! This movie is also the first to be released but the second in the story order as Ti West decided to make a prequel and a sequel to X ! I already look further to discover them)

Men directed by Alex Garland (2022) - 4 posters

A young woman goes on a solo vacation in the English countryside after the death of her ex-husband. (Veeeeeery spooky this one ! Alex Garland is a brilliant director and really made a beautifull movie here. Not that the story will make you cry like a beautifull life drama, no. Alex Garland is a director that pictures nature perfectly. Focusing on flowers and trees rather than blood and guts, he really created here a brilliant allegory of the male toxicity around. Some scene are as beautifull as traumatic and you’ll probably never see you mail box on your door the same way, ever ...)

Bodies, Bodies, Bodies directed by Alina Reijn (2022) - 6 posters

A murder transpires during a party between young, rich, and backstabbing friends. (Finally saw it this week and .... It was not was I expected but it was probably one of the funniest a24 horror I’ve seen ! The movie is a good criticism about insta girls/guys who are so selfish they don’t realize what’s happening around them XD You’ll probably never forget that ending !)

Pearl directed by Ti West (2022) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A prequel to X, it follows the origins of Pearl and how she became the person she was. (A brilliant masterpiece ! Mia Goth is amazing and really deserves all the awards for her performance ! Really one of the best film I saw in 2022 ... Ti West and Mia Goth are also preparing a sequel to X called Maxxxine, that will be released next year)

Beau Is Afraid by Ari Aster (2023) - 6 posters

A paranoid man embarks on an epic odyssey to get home to his mother ... (Still have to see it ... It’s 3h long ... But it looks epic indeed.)

Talk To Me by Danny and Michael Philippou (2023) - 6 posters

When a group of friends discover how to conjure spirits using an embalmed hand, they become hooked on the new thrill, until one of them goes too far and unleashes terrifying supernatural forces. (I have to admit that it was not what I expected - a slasher with Death - but it was scary and spooky. The hand thing is really creepy and there’s some very violent moment that you’re not ready to forget ...)

+ EXTRA SWATCHES : these films aren’t typically horror but they’re some kind of creepy and a24 with good visuals so ...

Enemy directed by Denis Villeneuve (2013) + 2 sweaters + 7 posters

The lives of two identical men with two distinct personas become intertwined. (2 Jake Gyllenhall in 1 movie ... Come on !!!! An instant masterpiece)

Under the Silver Lake directed by David Robert Mitchell (2019) (suggested by @bauhauzzz thanks a lot ♥) 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A young man investigates the sudden disappearance of his neighbor, only to stumble upon a dangerous conspiracy. (Andrew Garfield as a crazy characters for the director of It Follows ... A long, mysterious experience in my memory, with a shocking ending and a lot of David Lynch vibes)

#ts4cc #sims4cc #simblreen #simblreen treats #enjoy :)#ts4 #sims4 #a24 #sims4 a24 #a24 horror #hope you enjoy the treats

119 notes · View notes

etincelleart · 11 months

Note

Look, I miss Penny and while I do think it's unfair that Penny didn't even get to experience much of what it means to be humans, a big theme of RWBY that I respect is that the heroes don't always win and that sometimes, good people die. If Penny were to come back to life, it would undermine not only her own sacrifice, but also the development of Ruby, Jaune and Winter.

I wrote a loooot of big reflexions and ideas about the Penny subject soo tbh I'm kinda tired to explain why I would disagree with you and why I think her coming back is very much possible. :'] Nothing against you but if you know me a liiittle bit, you know I write a lot about her, I give valid arguments when I write theories, nothing comes out of nowhere so feel free to check it out if you'd like to know more of my thoughts on this !

Of course in the end, no matter if she comes back or not, it's up to the writers and CRWBY to decide. I'm not saying anything I'm saying is the confirmation of anything, it's just that I need to gather my thoughts and write discussions on the topics because I still find odd that I'm able to find that many clues and hints about Penny even in just Volume 9 alone. Also I just enjoy this and I'm having fun in my little delusional era and even if it turns out not true, well I'm having a good time rn now aha. And people can completely disagree with me, I accept that of course ! But unless you have a discussion to start with me and arguments to give me on your opinion as well, what is the point to tell me that you disagree ? '^^

I'm not saying that to be mean, but it just feel like here that you seem annoyed of my little ramblings about Penny, if that's the case I will continue so feel free to not read if you don't like it. But if you genuinely want to discuss about the subject, then I think what you said isn't really enough. Like if Penny is just meant to be a tragic character, it's just sad that they brought her back + we already have Pyrrha who died and never came back (unless plot twist they decide to bring her back too lmao). Penny symbolizes hope in a lot of way, and I completely agree that for a while I thought she had to stay dead and never come back (again, just read my posts before writing in my ask section because I won't write to explain again lol). But as I explained in a few posts, Volume 9, literally a volume about rebirth and reincarnation, changed a lot of aspects to me. No one complained that much when Little died then came back as Somewhat just because they're Afteran. The very same universe that created the Two Brothers who created Remnant, anyway-

What I mean is that for the first time we have reincarnation depicted in a positive way in RWBY, while it's always been about war and "balance" before (balance instaured by the Brothers, and they don't even respect it). I think it's a big tone change in the RWBY story.

For now I'll stop there but truly, if you want to talk about this subject with me, read my posts-

#rwby #rwby discussion #rwby theory #theory #discussion #penny #penny polendina #rwby v9 #rwby volume 9 #penny revival

25 notes · View notes

mikkibarnes19 · 1 year

Text

Reflexions about the WC:

Many things have been said about Qatar 2022, starting for it's quetionable location, their human rigths violations and finishing yesterday with the opinion of Argentina dirtly won match, the disgraful attitud of some of the argentinian players during the celebration and the blatant racism and transphobia of many argentinian fans.

But you know what I don't give a shit, and before you start attaking please let explain why I said this. I don't actually care that much about football, I'm not a fan and the only matches that I have watched beside the ones played at the WC are my little brothers in juniors. I never understood my parents generation fanaticism of Maradona, whom I never considered example of anything, but I get it now. The argentinian people, my people needed this win, not only the players like Messi or Di Maria, or even the Kun whom even without playing got to lift the Cup at the last chance that they where ever going to get, they would have been sad about a loss, but are professional players with lots of money, they and their families would have been fine.

The ones who needed it the most where the everyday people, my aunts and uncles and sundry little cousins whose faces were filled with happy tears; my elderly neighbours, that after having worked their whole lifes still dont have enough to live; the grocery guy that doesnt now if he will have to close his doors forever; the ones who lost their jobs and the ones who even if have jobs don't know how are gonna to survive a %100 inflation this year; and all the families out there that have no idea if are gonna to be able to serve someting in their tables, never mind for Christmas but tonigth.

This Cup is for them, this joy is for them, because yesterday, for a few hours we were utterly, unabashedly and collectively happy, and there is no way to ever repaid that back.

Is being world champions going to materialy improve everything that is wrong in his country? Of course no, but for a few hours you made us happy and because of that we're willing to forgive I lot, even if many people, with just cause, think that we shouldn't.

So I guess that all I can said is THANK YOU SELECCION ARGENTINA!!! For everything...

#world cup #argentina #argentina vs france #world champions #i sorry but it is what it is #unpopular opinion

33 notes · View notes

pouetpouetduckbaudelaire · 8 months

Text

Sad stuff

okay i'm gonna scream into the numeric void for a minute...

the dysphoria has been hitting hard (and it's gotten mixed with me stopping my antidepressents cold turkey -not my brightest moment-, culpability about me not doing tasks i should have done a while ago, anxiety and anger possibly related to testosterone dosage, and just ... life stuff). HARD.

i've only ever had body image issues that bad during a very low point dealing with my ED in the past, and it's just so sad to be stuck in that place again.

i hate my voice so bad i wish i'd never have to speak again. I'm avoiding looking at mirrors (i would cover them like i used to but i'm not living alone anymore). i dread taking showers because looking down at that body is just too much to bear.

and i'm just so damn good at brainwashing myself and playing make-believe that i've managed to convince myself that my body is sometimes just how i want it to be ... when i realise i've been hunching over for the whole day i tell myself "just walk like you would if you had a flat chest, if you had broader shoulders. imagine what it would feel like". and i forget ! i forget i actually don't have all of that. i catch my reflexion somewhere and it just hits me - i just don't look like that.

my body is everywhere with me, all the time, and it's just too much.

and i know i'm just a baby trans, i've only been on t for like 3 months and it's very normal that not much change has happened yet. that i just have to be patient and stuff will solve itself. but i'm tired of being patient. knowing that this moment will end doesn't stop it from being sad, and draining, and painful.

i don't know who i am. i don't know who i want to be, where i'm going. sometimes i wonder if it's easier if you're a binary trans person (i doubt it though) because i feel like they could have a clearer sense of who they are, and a sense of direction. They could think "despite of this body, i know i'm a woman. "-or "i know i'm a man". They could wish for a fixed goal, a certain set of attributes that they want to have related to their gender.

i don't feel like a woman. i don't feel like a man. i don't have an endgoal there. i just knew that they were some parts of my body, some parts that changed after my first puberty, that i didn't like at all. that i hate know. i knew that getting on hormones was the right decision for me tho. but i'm moving forward completely blind : at first i wasn't sure about my chest, now i know i want a mastectomy. for a long while i didn't like my voice, now i know i want it to change. but i don't have a clear picture, a set list of what i want to look like in three years. i guess sometimes i used to think it was kinda freeing, but the more i think about it and the more i think it's just ... stressful and scary.

#personal #but i'm posting it on the WORLD WIDE WEB #trans #transtrucs #gender dysphoria #tw dysphoria

2 notes · View notes

limitesdesnudos · 9 months

Text

Mapa

Hola gente de tumblr, si están pasando por este blog espero encuentren algo que les guste, les de curiosidad, les excite (la mente o las hormonas) y/o les parezca interesante. Para que no desperdicien su tiempo escribí estás líneas, dónde dejaré una lista de cosas que podrás encontrar en este blog y decidas si tenemos algo en común o somos dos extraños realmente ajenos:

-Reblog Porn/Softporn ( No contenido sin consentimiento o posiblemente menores de edad) , BDSM, erótico, desnudos, etc

-Cine, arte o fotografía de diferente tipo. Fotografía de autoría propia o encontrada por ahí

-Reflexiones diversas o comentarios random (Posiblemente sad mod - la vida misma)

-Escritos de autoría propia. Buscando un camino en la escritura. Relatos cortos o extensos, algunos reales ( ej. experiencias sexuales) o ficción mezclado con realidad de distintas locaciones del país.

PS: Amor al vino y la cervecita

Map

Hello Tumblr people, if you are going through this blog I hope you find something that you like, you are curious about, excites you (your mind or hormones) and/or you find it interesting. So you don't waste your time here I wrote these lines, where I will leave a list of things that you can find in this blog and decide if we have something in common or we are two strangers who are really unrelated:

-Reblog Porn/Softporn (No content without consent or possibly minors), BDSM, erotic, nudes, etc.

-Cinema, art or photography of different kinds. Photography of own authorship or found out there

-Diverse reflections or random comments (Possibly sad mod - life itself)

-Writings of own authorship. Looking for a path in writing. Short or long stories, some real (eg sexual experiences) or fiction mixed with reality from different locations in the country.

PS: Love wine and beer PS2:English: Not bad (Hope so)

#chile tumblr #tumblr stuff #personal #escrituras #90s #beer #wine

2 notes · View notes

ryrysakura · 2 years

Text

TEARDROPS analysis

By @AimeMilgram on Twitter

Reminder to me :

Listen and note when you hear a teardrop

(When she said damate ! For exemple)

Put some images for the sexy yuno !

And that’s all ?

Don’t forget that I didn’t have the VD when I write this so maybe the voice drama could totally break my point. It’s seems to be toward the fact that the illegal abortion was indeed that dangerous that Yuno is not sure of being alive anymore… Maybe it’s true ? Maybe she survived ? But she would be a lot more hurt right ?

The Mv start with Yuno being upside down and opening her eyes who looks like she’s about to cry and we see a tear fall down on a clear blue water. Then we see her walking…

My interpretation is that when someone is upside down it means that a big change happens to change someone's life completely, often in a way that is shocking or upsetting. So in the case of Yuno, it’s could be Milgram,her work or her abortion.

The fact that she is walking could be interesting… she’s not in a hurry neither trying to flee she’s just going toward it.

The wanted wanting the wanter

The overlap, isn’t that some sort of perfection ?

“Poor naive girl” ?

So off the mark, what’s it to you?

The wanted = “Yuno”

The wanter = the client

With this, we understand that Yuno desires this client as much as he desires her.

She said that she’s not the poor naive girl that Es thought and wondered how it is to be wrong.

This scene shows the date of Yuno in her highschool uniform receiving a rabbit as a gift and at the end of the date. She received her payments. That’s all just a date. But then another yuno appears. With a confident smile, hug HSyuno.

Don’t weigh me measure me against your morality

Shut it,will you ? You know it all

Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT ?

I’m so not that

Shut it, will you ? You know it all

It’s pretty simple to understand what’s happening. Yuno complains about her verdict. She thinks that Es wants her to be as she should be “Innocent” when she thinks her actions don’t deserve to be innocent. Pointing out the fact that Es voted her Innocent only because he pitied her for being in Milgram around all the murderer when her murder wasn’t the same thing.

So she finds them annoying, acting like they know it all and just want them to shut the hell up.

I’m not sure but it could be a way of asking us not to vote for her based on everyone else with the same logic and morals but on her actions only. After complaining, on the reflexion of the glasses, we saw Yuno with a cold expression

Yuno then proceeds to jump on HSyuno, holding both hands and smiling to each other.

Again it shows how close Yuno and HSyuno are.

And how she loved to be that "Yuno".

Caressing me with your “Good girl”

Who needs your self-righteous pardon ?

We see Yuno standing or more like waiting.

Yep for her verdict. Then she approaches the rabbit ? With a “wait what ?” expression. She doesn't need it but can’t do anything about it so she takes the verdict anyways.

Yuno wants to be the favorite, she wants to have attention, to be a “good girl” (wow Haruka are you there ?) so for that she kinda creates the “yuno” who is the most susceptible to receive that attention.

But when she said who needs your self-righteous pardon she wears the glasses. As if she answered the question. The one who needed the answer was Yuno but “Yuno” was the one in Umbilical so she was forgiven not Yuno LMAO TO MUCH YUNO I’M LOST.

I’m the one who choose, let you and you and you all in.

Happy or Sad ?

Why decide ?

Where’d you get your half-baked sense of justice

So nauseating… so creepy… will you please disappear

“Phew. Anyways”

Ok I’m sure you all didn’t understand but Yuno just freaking roast us. I’m happy.

She was in control.

Now that we know that, are we happy or sad ?

That something that futile could influence our verdict just means that our justice is not that solide from the start.

Why decide is more a it’s more a “It’s don’t even concern you so mind your business”

She found us nauseating for how this system works (probably related to the person who has been punished aka Mahiru and those who didn’t like Haruka and Mu), creepy for looking in her memory seeing things that we shouldn’t be able to see like a voyeur and asking us to disappear. But then, get ahead of her feelings and realize that won’t happen so use her HSyuno to get away.

If you want “me”, come Marco I’ll polo

Let’s just do it, please smile ?

Hooked up till the morning to this “Sweet Umbilical”

Let’s just do it, please smile ?

Each yuno represents a client in Umbilical, they all caressed her and she’s treated pretty well but it seems that they all leave leaving Yuno with a bittersweet feeling. Loving the moment of warmth but having it to go away later (that why she has to reload it etc etc).

I think you all know the game Marco Polo where you can’t see and you said Marco the other said Polo.

So it’s mean if they just have to call her so Yuno will always answer.

“Let’s just do it please smile ?”

For me it’s Yuno asking “Yuno” to do it and keep a smile for the payment of course.

“Hooked up till the morning to this “Sweet Umbilical”

Let’s just do it, please smile ?”

This time it seems to be what Yuno asked for her clients but they all leave. Leaving her alone like a stray cat, in the cold except for one client grey.

Desire, bestow, desire again

The episode reloading on an endless loop

The fading warmth makes me anxious again

Tear drops succumb and fall

Yuno is shown at the end of each date with a tired,lonely expression but then flashes to her cat world where she cries from one side.

We can note that Yuno doesn't feel that confident in that part…

So it’s clear that Yuno don’t like this feeling of loneliness/abandon

She’s tired of her self desire and can’t find a way to shut the coldness in her heart, a feeling that she doesn't understand nor know how to stop.

Each time, the warmth that she manages to get will leave her and that thought alone made her feel anxious and cry.

Don’t weigh me measure me against your morality

Shut it,will you ? You know it all

Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT ?

I’m so not that

Shut it, will you ? You know it all

Yuno is in a fetus position, trying to warm herself.

But that not enough, she then looks at the glasses(verdict) and throws it away

Saying “shut it” in an annoyed/angry tone.

If I understand well, she thinks Milgram is the reason why she’s cold. After all, this prison is not MINIGRAM the fun place but Milgram… a place that could never understand her…

If you want “me”, come Marco I’ll polo

Let’s just do it, please smile ?

Hooked up till the morning to this “Sweet Umbilical”

Let’s just do it, please smile ?

Yuno is finally smiling, she breaks everything around her. And at the end, invite (someone)to give her warmth by putting the jacket back on her. Strange thing but seems like the person did.

But Yuno is happy even after that she destroyed everything that she shows her real self she did get warmth once again or something like that honestly the last part is weird for me but seems to be the “I messed up” part in umbilical (why when she said it she knows she’s doing something bad but is laughing at it) anyways we shouldn’t take things that seriously.

GUYS I’M SO STUPID

THE ROOM IS MADE BY 5 THINGS

Neko Yuno- milgram (glasses,chairs of the interrogation room and the rabbit jackalope)

Highshool yuno - favorite client (the jacket)

Fancy yuno - rich client(curtain)

Karaoke yuno - fun client (cushion)

Country yuno - car client ( the light ? Or nothing ?)

Anyways my point is that The room is made by the object of the clients (and Milgram)

Yuno decides to break the glasses, the curtain and the cushions so she breaks something related to Milgram,a fun client and a rich client.

Probably car clients too but I have no proof for that.

The only one who’s left is Favorite client.

He was the most probable to accept her as she is because as I said WAYYY EARLIER yuno and HSyuno are quite similar in the end. In that way can we say that she killed the other yuno ?

So to conclude this, I think yuno fell in love with her favorite client. She became pregnant,became a couple with favorite client and decided to stop her work. Except that, the more and more this situation doesn't comble her, after all if when they were 4 they couldn’t satisfy her, only one couldn’t do it. So behind the back of her boyfriend she answers the call of her clients but the guilt from the morality and ect tired her as so she decides to be discovered ( ”I messed up”part in umbilical) favorite client breakup with her, yuno is sad but she can’t do anything about it after all she want warmth and decide to abort and continue her work with the 3 lefts (so the link/stairs/umbilical cordon with grey is destroyed). That’s the end !

Re-Conclusion because VD lmao. She was supposed to continue with the three left but the emptiness she felt after losing Favorite warmth was greater than she thought she even wait for him in front of his house sit and decide to give up if leaving all her life with this loneliness she decides to unalived herself in the heat of the moment (or by accident I can’t have a clear answer with Umbilical sorry)(her exploding her ballon could be her reaching her breaking point ?) and fall except that Grey probably tries to save her so she thinks he’s the reason why she’s alive in Milgram (her falling but catch the ballon) anyways reading the translation could find a clear explanation

Update last minute : umbilical break the stairs of favorite(grey) leaving only the three stairs left, teardrop the cushions and curtain of both Fun(yellow) and Rich(green). So the only one left is Purple ? (Technically Es too but sshh) so Purple is the father ? Or the victim ? Or Purple is Es ? I will have to look into umbilical a bit more…

#milgram #ミルグラム #Tearsdrop #teardrops #yuno kashiki #but anyways it’s just a theory

13 notes · View notes

aestheticnanashi · 1 year

Text

Failure or success? Villain or hero?

I want to share with you the reflexion that I have about these questions, theses characters and these pictures. First question. Failure or success. Who fail and who success. Do you remember that they had the same dream? Becoming a hero... Well, in case of Shigaraki, he failed about his dream for fault of his father and also his family, but thanks to that get other dream according his life's experiences. And not only that, he became a model for other exclude or misunderstood people like Twice or Toga. Shigaraki is like a hero for them, so we could say that finally he fulfilled his dream.

Let's see Deku. He had the dream to be a hero too, but he failed at the begin because he hadn't a quirck. But by life things, he could show that not need a quirck to be a hero (saving at Bakugo). His best quirck is the ambition to save people. Also Shigaraki has a very good ambition for get his purposes. So finally Deku got the quirk of All Might, like a prize for his effort. For keeping the hope. So Deku also fulfilled his dream. For the other way, and in relation to the second question, Shigaraki got the quirk of All for one, as prize too, but for surveving in that society where no one understand him or all decline you for the kind of quirck that you have. Deku has the power to save other people and Shigaraki has the power to save hisself and save the exclude people. So who is the hero and who is the villain? I think that this is a great point of this anime, that's difficult to separate the good of the evil, as the real life. And is difficult too deciding who is a hero and who is a villain. Because the anime is on airing and we have could watch the death of one villain (no spoiler) and the anime show you with all the humanity and sadness, although to be a villain. Because actually that death hurts, that death isn't desirable and fair.

Finally, I just wanted to comment this pictures. In the first, Shigaraki is in the shadow, and Deku in the light. You know? Like symbolism of the evil and the good. Understable. And also Shigaraki is looking at the floor with a bit of fear and Deku is looking at him like try to help him or feeling bad for him. But in the second not. In the second, the two are in the light, face to face, looking each other, no fear, no sadness, no trying to help. And that's why now, they growed up and not only fisically. Shigaraki hasn't fear anymore, and Deku knows who is he up against. But why there isn't more shadow? Maybe because Shigaraki isn't hide anymore or maybe because...

The evil's and the good's side are the same.

What do you think? 👀

7 notes · View notes

theafunmisoeyitomilayo · 1 year

Text

TITLE : WHO WAS THE REAL ME ?

WHO WAS I ?

But which was the " REAL ME" ?

Pretending to be perfectly HONEST ?

Tho I was a MAN of many faces

Yet I dwelt in the midst of TRUE minds

And I dined Amidst The KINGS MEN

Well Aware it might had been my last SUPPER ......

DID YOU REALLY KNOW ME ?

Did you actually know me ?

Or you just assumed how I was by my looks ?

I put on fake SMILES yet nobody knew the sadness that was within my soul

Nobody knew countless times I cried myself to sleep, still No one came for me

How many times I had lost hope, I had been let down, I had held back my TEARS

In my sad moments,the negative thoughts that had gone through my mind

Most-times, the strongest people are the one's who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors, fight battles that nobody knew about and still end up being VICTORIOUS .....

DID IT EVER GET BETTER ?

Depressed, frustrated, lost in my anxiety

I wondered how I had lived my LIFE till then

Hoped things could finally take a better turn

My thoughts and I had debatable conversations on whether or not I was FINE, I still couldn't figure it out

Lived a series of well-learnt negative feelings, miserable energies

They didn't ever see my true PAIN ?

My helpless heart still yearned for a CHANGE .....

WAS I LOST IN MYSELF ?

I endlessly searched for my "AMIGO"

I was judged and bullied my whole life

Singing from the distant HIILS hoping my voice would be heard someday

I loved people with the whole of my heart,yet 0.1% was never reciprocated

NEVER EVER !!!!! shall I EVER LOVE AGAIN

Please DEATH , remove these burdens off my shoulder, WAS I YOUR DESCENDANT ?

Tried all I could to figure out WHO I WAS, still nothing came FORTH,my STRENGTHS gone

Shallow dreams,Rosey Cheek,DEAD OR ALIVE ?......

DID I LOSE MY IDENTITY ?

I felt like I was becoming a totally different person with each day that passed by

OH I wished I could remember "WHO I WAS" so I'll finally be alright ,sure I hoped I will be

Everytime the sunset,a part of me was taken away,I kept losing myself every single day

You thought you "KNEW ME" ? ,You didn't know me FOR I am yet to discover "WHO I WAS "

It felt like I was a complete STRANGER TO MYSELF

I looked at myself in the mirror and I was GONE ,All I could see was "MY SHADOW"......

"I WAS ALWAYS THE BIGGER ME"

After such a long time,I felt like I belonged

I saw a tiny RAY OF HOPE worth living for

I realized that all this while, I was THE BEST VERSION of myself

I said to myself " I AM THE CONTROLLER OF MY OWN DESTINY"

I discovered I was THE BATTLE AXE of my MIND

My eyes had been opened and I knew I had achieved all I ever wanted in a lifetime

I had thought I was never good enough for "THE REAL ME"Not knowing THE REAL ME has always been a REFLEXION of my SHADOW

I learnt to embrace myself and my unknown FEARS ,I was all I ever wanted to be on earth

Only those who have had an ENCOUNTER with DARKNESS can appreciate TRUE LIGHT

I WAS WHO I WAS MEANT TO BE IN LIFE

YOU WERE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE

AUTHOR:theidentityexperience

DATE: November 1st 2022

#critical role #house of the dragon #midnights #interview with the vampire #percy jackson #taylor swift #stranger things #toh hunter #uk politics #the sims 4 #prose #poetry #dr strange

4 notes · View notes

yoliaz · 8 days

Text

to my dearest friend..

this is my reply to you..where it wasn't easy for me to approach you.

days have been hard to deal with myself.. i try to find somewhere to lay.

i fall into those escaping habits i hate but find it funny while doing so. I'm becoming someone i didn't wanted to again. cycles I'm trying to break without much sincere intentions nowadays.

I'm lost without landmarks, pursuing fun rather than reflexion.

a wave of new emotions, thoughts and life experiences come through. everything and everyone are changing and i don't know what to do. i recall being excited about it but i didn't wasn't aware of its underground.

each days pass by as fast train and i guess since i didn't reflect on myself i couldn't reach you. my will to talk to you wasn't strong as i was weak.

i didn't talk about myself as i wasn't happy about me. knowing you weren't alright, i knew i couldn't do something to help you. I abandoned.

yeah right ? friendships aren't just deep talks but know you see more with sensitivity than others. we're both instable i guess.

i don't know why i can't talk about anything with you. might be the fact that i recall too much your opinions and past reactions to things.

i didn't know you put a this much of intentions in order to be open to things.. it's been a while i guess. maybe I'm the one who is stuck.

i tried to escape myself again. i chased fun things as i said : musics, ego, fun people and things. Even though i knew it wasn't right.

i guess you couldn't see how my eyes were sad when i thought or looked at you. sad that you were sad, sad i didn't know how to talk to you casually, sad that i wasn't on control with my emotions and actions.

i thought that i wanted lightness in our friendship because we're always deep. but my thoughts and worries don't let me speak to you.

one of my worst deceptions is not putting as much efforts for you and into you as you do to me and for me.

I'm scared of talking to you about my worries. i know you think that i shouldn't. maybe i would soon. to let you know what's happening.

i forget myself all over again.

sorry for making troubles.

... i miss you.

1 note · View note

not-so-specialk · 5 months

Text

Life update: hoy reflexione mucho, me di cuenta que la regué… MUCHO. Dude me estoy muriendo por llamarte y contarte y que me digas que si la regué pero que al final de cuentas es lo mejor…

So I’m re reading conversation and I’m just as bad as him… Cold.

Looking back at our kiss, I stopped him a few times and hid my face bc I’m a loser who doesn’t know how to kiss, and after it finished, I said “I’m sad” he asked why and I said “melancholy” … just right after our first kiss.

I was sad bc era algo que comenzaba y acababa ahí mismo y que yo quería aferrarme pero era como intentar abrazar al viento. Me daba melancolía saber que dentro de unos días yo estaría de regreso en mi casa y todo lo vivido sería un recuerdo. Pero no dije nada de eso y tal vez escuchar esas palabras justo después de lo qué pasó no fue muy grato

When I first saw him he told me he was sad cause he wanted to hug me tight but I only sidehugged him bc there were a lot of ppl. The following 3 days I did the same thing.

He was disappointed, I do know that much. He said he wanted to get closer and try to spot me but I never let him do it (unconsciously). Al día siguiente le enseñe algo en mi mano y mas tarde el me dijo que he was hoping I’d had hold his hand a bit longer or played with it, but I barely touched him.

Yo también quería abrazarlo fuerte pero el miedo al que dirán no me dejaba, quería platicar con el pero no podía parar de buscar con los ojos quién nos miraba. El me dijo que tenía ganas de ver a la persona con la que se mensajeaba, por que a la que veía no era a ella, y estaba en lo correcto.

After we spent time alone he sent me a few messages, and idk if it was bc I was too out of it but I wasn’t too.. chatty, I think I was a bit cold. He told me he was trying to be respectful and that if he could he would have spent the whole day with me but we couldn’t do that… solo le dije que lo entendía. El me dijo que fue un momento bonito, y creo que lo más bonito que conteste en esa conversación fue “tengo acelerado el corazón”

I regretted the fact that I was still holding back a lottttt that day even when it was just the two of us, and I thought I would “repay” him next time I saw him… but I didn’t got the chance cause it’s when it all started to crumble.

And by holding back and repay I don’t mean like doing things I shouldn’t… me refiero a que había muchas cosas que quería decirle y hacer, cosas bonitas y que el estaba intentado decir pero mi personalidad no me dejó decirle, tenía miedo y pena y eso era nuevo.

Sé que el resultado es el que tenía que ser, pero pensar en todo eso me hace darme cuenta que yo tengo más culpa de lo que pensé, y que si no quiero lastimar a nadie en el futuro debo de cambiar. Pobrecito el próximo hombre (jw exclusivamente) que se tope conmigo, literalmente no se como tratar a alguien y no se como dejar que me traten bien.

Si me ofrecen ayuda los quito, si me pagan algo les regreso el dinero, si me abren la puerta los mando por delante, no se… soy un fracaso.

Anyways… Ya te extraño, espero que me stalkees seguido.

0 notes

gleenncoco · 2 years

Text

fuck as an kanye ex-stan i really feel so sad for that man but also do not care at all like he was at some point one of the most respected artists on earth and really had the power to move masses in an insane way... he still has that power but his unhinged behaviour is just annoying and quite frankly stupid and fucked up his bipolar diagnosis is no excuse for all the shit he has been doing since his trump supporter era and now he is just trying to keep relevant by saying stupid bullshit and not through his music (which quite frankly is good but definitely not his best AT ALL)......hopefully he’ll do a REAL recovery and decide to get the help he needs and does a sincere reflexion of the shit he is instigating but if he does not well then shit my boy hopefuly your platform diminishes to the point where your words’ impact is nbon existent and then there’s all these motherfuckers who have been defending him even though he is basically a white supremacist nazi now all because he does sneakers and sunglasses like these people need a job and find a fucking useful purpose in life or quite frankly k word themselves they clearly do not have the mental capacity to bring positive energy to this word or be useful to society so yeah that’s that on that

1 note · View note

fussymeanie999 · 3 years

Text

first time - loki laufeyson x plus-size reader

WARNING: this is going to be around 90% dirty smut. you have been warned. mentions of: cunnilingus, deepthroat, facefucking, unprotected sex, breeding, first time

synopsis: reader feels extremely insecure about her figure, loki finds her being absolutely destroyed, he decides to show her how beautiful she is.

a/n: also, i like used a scene from my mad fat diary for one of the dialogues (another one of my favourite shows), so all creds to them! i also used a monologue called "corsets and courtship" for some of loki's quotes by @tomhiddlestonsoundalike on tumblr so all credz to him and whoever wrote the text!

enjoy, my plussize queens (or whoever's reading this lol)

+++

you stood in front of your mirror, in your undergarments, looking at your own reflexion, your fingers grazing your own skin, cringing at every bump or texture you felt. your skin wasn't as soft as you'd want it to be. it wore many marks, wether from your skin stretching or plain old cellulite. you had some pimples, some scarring... you hated it. all of it. you just wished you were perfect. you weren't skinny, that was for sure. you weren't even mid-size. you were a big girl. and as much as you'd want to pretend you weren't, there were times where that was impossible. you didn't fit in any "regular sizes" and not every store had a plus-size section. you were afraid to eat in front of people. you couldn't even be intimate with your boyfriend.

ah. your boyfriend. your boyfriend's name was loki. and he was probably the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes upon. well, not a man. technically he was an alien. or a god? he came from asgard. a different planet and it honestly baffled you that a literal god would go for someone like you, when he could get anyone he ever wanted. you couldn't believe what you were hearing when he revealed his feelings for you. of course you were hopelessly in love with him but you just couldn't believe he felt the same way. fat girls never get the hot guys. at least not in any story you ever heard, especially not in your life. you never had a boyfriend. no one had really shown any interest in you and you didn't either. mostly because you didn't think anyone would feel the same. you didn't feel as though you deserved to be with anyone, you were too big, too unattractive, too insecure. so you never really tried. until loki came around.

he became part of your life almost a year ago to this day. he was your first kiss, first date, first everything. the only first that was missing was... your first time. yes. you were a virgin. a fat virgin at that. you didn't even let loki see you without a shirt on. the mere thought made you burst into tears, imagining different improbable scenarios where he'd be so disgusted by your figure he'd leave you. but you wanted to. you wanted him to see you and you wanted him to touch you. you wanted him in every sense of the term, but you couldn't bring yourself to reveal your body to him when the time came. he was always understanding, listening to your wishes and never made you feel like you had to do anything you didn't want to do. but you could feel how much it made him ache to not be able to be with you the ways he wanted to. it made you ache as well.

you grabbed at your fat, your jiggly rolls, covered in purple stripes and you couldn't help the tears that threatened to fall, roll down your cheek. your small cries suddenly became sobs, and they became louder and louder, as your brain was flooded with images of loki's face, disgusted in your figure. you let yourself fall onto the bed, feeling your stomach touch your thighs, making your sobs grow even louder. you held your stomach in one of your hands and and the other directed itself on your face, massaging your temple, feeling your heart beat inside your head.

you thought you were alone. you really did.

you heard the door of your bedroom creak. your head immediately jolted up as your glistening eyes met with familiar blue-ish green orbs. you grabbed the nearest blanket and covered your almost naked body, your sobs completely stopping but your tears still melted away on your round cheeks.

your raven-haired lover walked in the room, carefully.

"oh my sweet girl, what has happened?" the god said softly, carefully kneeling in front of you.

he slowly held out his hand to meet yours with confusion, worry and a hint of sadness in his eyes, but you quickly dodged it and got up, covering your entire front side with the blanket and quickly turning around so he couldn't see the back of you.

"nothing" you struggled to say, in between cries, still backing away from him.

you continued walking backwards until your lower back hit the dresser. you looked down, for a few quick seconds and when you looked back up, your lover was only a mere 2 inches away from your face. he cupped your visage with his hands and softly wiped your dried tears with the back of his thumb.

" you know how much i trust you my darling..." he started. " ... but this doesn't look like nothing."

he started slowly stroking your hair and brushing it with his fingers. you tried avoiding his stare but it was useless, as he was grabbing your face and lifted your chin up to make you look at him straight in the eyes.

as his stare felt as though it was piercing through your soul, you couldn't contain your cries anymore.

" be honest with me... i beg of you... it pains me to see you like this" he pleaded.

you started to contain your sobs a bit better, but you still felt so much pain.

" why... why are you with me loki...?" you were able to blurt out.

confusion. confusion was all that was written over his face. he also looked a bit hurt.

his stare started going around the room, trying to find an answer to your question. his hands, that previously were cupping your face, slid down to your throat and rested on your collarbone, his thumb drawing circles over your thyroid.

"what kind of question is that?" he said, annoyance in his voice. you were afraid you made him angry.

"loki... you can have anyone you want, alright? you're a god..." you said, tears still brimming the sides of your eyes.

loki looked at you with so much hurt, it was hard to keep eye contact.

" you're an 11, and i'm a two at best..." you proceeded. "most people, when they see us, out in public, or on social media, they must be thinking; "oh he must be absolutely mad going out with that..." you stopped yourself when you saw loki's facial expression go from hurt to raging.

"that what?" he asked firmly.

you didn't answer.

"THAT WHAT?" he screamed, making you jump.

he put a hand over his mouth, trying to calm himself down.

"how many times do i have to tell you, y/n?" he started. "you are my person. my woman. my everything. you are the most magnificent being my eyes ever laid upon. the most beautiful creature in all of the nine realms. can't you see? can't you? because i can. i see it everyday. i don't have to see you bare to know. never say that to me again, you understand? do you? do you understand?" he said, starting softly and becoming more firm.

his hands were still hanging by your collarbone, but you felt them grip at your skin, desperate for your understanding, for your touch, for you.

"... i" you started. "i d-do..." you stuttered through sniffles.

he looked at you directly in the eyes. you knew he loved you.

'but not enough.' you thought to yourself.

your love carefully placed his lips upon yours. his lips that you were familiar with. lips you kissed thousands of times. lips you loved. lips you longed for. you needed. the kiss he planted was one of the most delicate kisses he'd ever given you, but at the same time, one of the most passionate. it felt like all of the love he felt for you he poured out into you and in that moment, you felt like nothing could come between you two.

"p-please don't leave me, loki..." you cried out after the kiss.

"my love, my love, my love... never. i love you." he reassured you, stroking your hair.

he planted kisses all over your face, your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your eyelids, and then back to your lips, this time with more hunger. it was like all of the times he had to restrain himself, when you felt like you weren't ready, completely melted into that kiss. all of his passion, his love, his hunger, his despair, and more importantly his lust, he finally let it all out and you let it all in.

"loki..." you panted in between kisses.

"mmh... yes my love?" he said, intensifying and deepening his kisses more and more.

you hesitated. but you knew. you knew you were ready.

"i-...mmh... i want you." you said, desperation tinting your voice, sounding almost like a plea.

loki slowed down. he took a minute to look at you in the eyes. he wasn't sure what to say. he wasn't even sure what you were saying.

"what?" was all he could muster up to say.

you looked at him with a little more confidence and nodded slowly.

the look on his face was priceless. he would finally be able to be with you.

"a-are you sure about this, love?" he said, sounding like he had just won the lottery.

you nodded again.

he grabbed the sides of your head firmly and leaned in to kiss you once more. his hands trailed down the sides of your body and started playing with the blanket that you were still holding firmly in your hands. you were scared to let go. to be completely bare to him.

"i'm afraid you're gonna have to let this go, my darling." he whispered in you ear, taking the chance to leave a wet kiss on your lobe, slightly biting down on it.

he grabbed your shaking hands in his, drawing circles with his thumb softly against yours.

"give yourself to me, little one... let me see you, touch you, feel you, taste you. i beg... i beg of you." he whispered again, pressing his forehead against yours.

you breathed heavily. you wanted him to see you. to touch you, feel you...

the wall you had built had always seemed so hard to knock down... but in this moment though, that wall seemed to be made of silk. all you had to do was let it go.

"okay..." you said, in the softest voice you ever spoke.

you backed away from loki and walked backwards a few feet. you were now standing the back of your knees faced towards the end of the bed. loki was staring at you proufoundly, awaiting your reveal impatiently.

your hands were trembling. you had nightmares about this moment. you had panic attacks for this moment. this moment was everything. but something about loki... was it the way he stood? the way he spoke? was it his stare? something about him made you feel safe. safer than you had ever felt before tonight.

so you let go.

you felt the blanket reach your toes. you cringed. so you closed your eyes, not wanting to witness loki's disappointment. you awaited any second now a hurl, a disgusted sound or a hurtful comment. but none of that.

you carefully opened your eyes, only to find loki with a gaping mouth, having the most amazing look on his face. a look of pure love, of endless attraction and mesmerising lust.

he approached you slowly, making each of his step count. when he finally reached you, he immediately pressed his forehead against yours. though your eyes were staring down at your feet, you could feel his stare devouring you.

he carefully placed his hand upon yours and let it trail up your arm. then back down again, giving you chills.

he didn't say anything. not a word. what was he thinking?

"i... i look disgusting i know, i'm so sorry. i know i disappoint..." you said, starting to regret the blanket had reached the floor.

you heard loki sigh so heavily.

"you... have got to be joking, love..." were the first words he spoke after seeing your figure. you heard the smile through his voice.

"in all of my..." he started. you heard him swallow before continuing. "in all of my 1056 years of living... never... and i mean never... have i ever witnessed such beauty before this night. my sweet, sweet girl, i simply do not understand why you felt the need to hide."

his hand reached your face and kissed you so passionately, you felt a sort of... heat at the bottom of your stomach. it was an unfamiliar feeling.

that same hand made its way to your neck, then to your shoulder and started playing with one of your bra straps. eventually, he completely took it off and did the same with the other strap.

"you have no idea what you are doing to me right now..." the god said, in a lower, hungrier voice.

"what am i doing to you?" you asked, innocently.

in between kisses, you could feel loki smirk against your lips.

his hand went from your shoulder, trailed down your arm and grabbed your hand in his. he took it and before you knew it he pressed it upon himself. his black, silky, suit pants were showing a bulge in between his legs and that's exactly where he put your hand.

he was hard.

when you first touched it, you heard a whimper come from your lover. god, he needed you.

"this... this is what you are doing to me, darling."

you couldn't believe the words he was saying to you. you felt as though you were in a sort of dream. loki wanted you. he was... quite literally hard for you.

loki grabbed your hair and pulled your head back so you were looking at him. his eyes went extremely dark.

"lay down. on the bed. now." he demanded firmly.

you obeyed his commands in the blink of an eye. you were ready.

you laid down on the bed, on your backside, carefully. when you got comfortable you looked up at loki and saw him looking at you, with hungrier eyes. eyes that were darker and more lustful than ever. he was devouring you with his eyes and he made sure to capture every square inch of skin of your body.

with only a smirk and the flick of a hand on your partner's part, your bra disappeared in a light green magic, leaving your breasts uncovered and nipples starting to harden.

loki obviously couldn't contain himself any longer and almost jumped on top of you, kissing you savagely, making his way down your neck, leaving all sorts of love marks, some darker than others. some of them were painful but the pain only reminded you that this was real. when he got to your breasts, you could almost see his mouth water.

he carefully grabbed one with his hand, keeping eye contact with you the whole time.

"so soft, so plump... for me. oh god, sweetheart you're giving me such a delight"

and with no warning he started giving you small licks, around your nipple, carefully approaching your most sensitive part, which he enthusiastically started to flick with his tongue. the sudden pleasure rose your voice as you let out a small whimper, begging for more.

"yes... yes my sweet girl... let it out... show me how much you want this" he said in a raspier voice.

you found your fingers playing with his raven-black locks, as his mouth played with your brown-ish pink buttons.

he did so for some while, until he felt your hand grasp at his vest. you wanted him to reveal himself to you as well. he got the message pretty quickly.

he looked up from his meal, giving you the same amount of eye contact, as he took off his black blazer, black tie and black vest. all he had on were his bottoms but you were too worried about his beautiful torso to notice. you let your hands wonder on his pale chest, feeling the softness of his skin, some of his hair, up to his pecs, you couldn't believe it. how can this man become even more beautiful?

"like the view, my love?" he asked. you enthusiastically nodded.

he bent down to leave more love bites over your torso and your breasts. he started to slowly go down your body leaving kisses under your breast, going even nearer to the most insecure part of your body. you cringed and whimpered again, but this time in a less of a pleasurable manner, remembering all of your stretch marks and cellulite, knowing he'll be disappointed.

"i... couldn't... be... more... in... love..." he breathed out between his wet kisses. he was now definitely directly on your tummy.

he looked up, knowing you wouldn't like this part. he met your eyes and definitely noticed your hesitation.

he got back up, towering over you. he bent back down, catching your lips in his.

he carefully started stroking your hair, in the most loving manner you could ever imagine. he looked at you straight in the eyes, seeming like he was trying to deliver a message directly to your soul.

"what have i done to deserve you?" he asked, his voice choking in between his words.

those words completely melted your aching heart.

it was your turn to touch him. you said nothing as you slowly stroked his cheek with the back of your hand, giving him your approval by a shake of the head.

he smiled and his head disappeared to your stomach again.

you could feel his hands rome around your entire body and his mouth leaving wet kisses over your stomach. his long raven hair still trailed around higher up on your torso, nearer to your breasts.

he finally got to the place his own body longed for the most.

at this point you were completely damp and you awaited his reaction to your wetness impatiently.

he quickly gave you one of the hungrier and most impatient look you'd ever seen him give you.

he got up in front of the bed, looking you up and down like a predator looks at its prey and with the flick of hand, yet again, loki made your panties disappear in a light shimmering green magic, leaving you completely bare. all that was covering you up were your legs, still pressed firmly together.

loki carefully placed his hands over your bare knees. he could feel you trembling. was it from excitement? nervousness? or desire?

"open up for me, my love... let me in" he said in a demanding, pleading voice.

you slowly started to comply and let your legs go loose. your lover took it upon himself and slowly spread your thighs apart. he couldn't believe his eyes.

he was letting himself finally see your aching core. he could see it glistening, it was calling to him, begging for his touch. he was the one the one responsible and he'd never felt prouder. he admired every fold, every forgotten hair you missed while shaving, everything about it was inviting.

"oh my sweet sweet girl... look at the state of you. don't you understand how long i've been waiting? to see you in this position, completely at my mercy, legs spread, only for me..."

he gulped and whimpered at the sight of you, as you spread you legs even further. he could feel the tightness in his pants become almost unbearable. he'd never been this aroused before in his entire life. but first, he needed a taste of you.

he slowly started leaving wet kisses over your thighs, getting closer and closer to your velvet folds. his hands traveled your entire body. your body, that felt as though it had been set on fire. he once again cupped one of your breasts and started flicking your nipples with his fingertips. you let yet another whimper escape your lips, needing him more than you've ever needed anyone.

you felt his hot breath against your wet love box and that was all it took to make you go insane.

"p-please..." you pleaded to the god.

he took your scent in, smelling the most mouth-watering aroma he ever got the chance to smell in all of his 1000 years.

"you don't have to ask me twice, my sweetness..." were his last words before delving in.

he placed his fingers upon your aching core, exploring all of your folds, he couldn't believe how wet you were.

"darling... you are dripping..."

he let his fingers trail for a few seconds, until they reached your entrance. he circled it with the tip of his finger as he finally placed his lips right on top of your sensitive button.

the sudden, unfamiliar sense of pleasure, completely took you by surprise as you yelped.

his tongue peaked through after a few kisses planted on your clitoris. it circled in the same motions his finger was making to your entrance. he was so soft, so cautious. but you could feel the heat in the bottom of your stomach growing darker, more demanding so you placed you hands on the top of your lover's head, brushing your fingers through his hair and slightly pushing his head down on your core.

loki got the message, as his circles became more passionate and as he started flicking his tongue aggressively at your core.

you felt your entire body tremble in desire as loki's finger plunged itself in between your folds, exploring your insides.

you were now moaning deliberately, wanting him to add digits. you thought you'd be more resistant, you thought it'd be a little painful, even but all you could feel was pleasure.

"more..." you pleaded.

as the words were still hanging from your lips, loki plunged yet another finger in, and this time, you did feel a little resistance but you didn't care. you wanted him. you wanted him so much.

his tongue was working wonders on your clit. you would think the man hadn't eaten in days at the sight of him. he was completely devouring you and you could feel the pleasure build up inside of you.

the mixture of his fingers pumping in and out of you, and his tongue flicking at your sensitive button, all of it was too much for you to handle. you felt something was coming.

"loki... l-loki... something... something's happening." you panted, in between moans.

he didn't stop. he knew what he was doing. he went harder, his tongue completely destroying you.

"i can feel it as well... your heat... your wetness... let yourself come undone, my sweet... for me" he whispered, panting, in between licks.

'come undone?' you thought. but before you knew it, you felt it. the highest peak of pleasure your body had ever felt in its life. you felt your thighs squeeze around the god's head, squashing him a little. you didn't want to hurt him but you couldn't contain yourself, as you screamed his name, not believing that amount of pleasure was even possible. it was electrifying. your whole body reacted, you were sweating. you put your hand over your mouth and bit down your finger to stop yourself from becoming a screaming mess, but it was already too late, as you rode your orgasm out to the last bit of pleasure you could conquer up.

"you taste even sweeter than i thought you would, sweet girl" he said, giving the nickname a whole different meaning.

you let out a huge sigh, slowly coming back to your senses. you looked up as loki got up from between your legs, his hand still caressing your folds slowly and placed a delicate kiss on your lips. you tasted what you thought was yourself. oddly enough, you didn't cringe, you hadn't found yourself to taste disgusting. it was... kind of erotic actually.

"loki i..." you started. you didn't know how to ask. "i want to..." you sighed out.

"say it, darling" he said, stroking your hair, still caressing in between your legs.

"i want to taste you... too" you finally let out.

you wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel. you wanted to thank him in a way.

he was surprised. he didn't think you were ready.

"you made me feel so good today... i want to reciprocate the feeling... y'know..." you said, shyly.

loki's hand pulled at your hair to make you look at him.

"is that what you want?" he asked, firmly. he grabbed your hand and slowly pressed it yet again on his throbbing member, through his tightening pants.

he sighed heavily, still looking at you straight in the eyes.

you nodded, slowly. he smirked.

"then, get on your knees."

you obeyed.

you liked how he commanded you and guided you through all of your movements. you were nervous he wasn't going to enjoy, but the anticipated look on his face told you otherwise. also, the throbbing length in his pants.

you were now on your knees, on the floor, at the end of the bed and loki was sitting, his still clothed legs spread, inviting you in.

you started to slowly stroke his thigh, rubbing your hand up and down, each time getting closer to his private. you did the same thing with his other thigh, feeling the god getting impatient with your teasing.

you finally placed your hand over his member, giving it a small squeeze. you heard your lover grunt, at only your touch.

"you're eager" you stated, looking up at him. he gave you a smirk.

"less talking." he said, darkly.

you complied, massaging his bulge through his pants.

when you finally unzipped them, you heard your lover let out a sigh of relief. you wanted to bring them down to his ankles, but loki, being impatient, made them disappear in his green magic.

"hey. let me work." you said, in more of a joking way.

"i said... less talking" he repeated.

you noticed a small wet spot on his grey boxers. you bent down, without touching it, smelling it.

you felt the god squirm under you, eager to feel you around him.

you carefully, and slowly took his boxers down, letting his member spring free of its shackles, finally revealing itself to you.

he was huge. it was veiny, its tip was a dark pink, almost red, it was pale like the rest of his body. but most importantly, it was enormous.

"like the view, my love?" he asked for the second time that night.

you nodded your head enthusiastically. all you wanted was to get a taste.

you carefully approached your hand to the hot spot. the second your fingers reached his skin, loki whimpered. it was burning up, but it was so soft. you felt the veins under your fingertips, and suddenly it was like you knew exactly what to do. you carefully started stroking him and ran your thumb over the most sensitive part of his shaft, his frenulum, and heard him whimper once again.

"please" he pleaded, imitating your pleas from earlier.

"you don't have to tell me twice" you imitated as well.

you approched his tip to your lips and delicately gave him a soft kiss. his skin was so warm.

you continued giving him small pecks but you felt him get, yet again, impatient with your teasing.

"oh come on..." he pleaded.

you looked at him. sweat was dripping down his forehead.

you then flipped his cock over, back to his stomach to give yourself full access to the base of his member. you placed your tongue directly in between his balls and shaft and worked your way up to his tip, making sure you passed by his sensitive junction between his red bulb and the rest of his penis. directly after, you put his tip in your mouth and started bobbing your head back and forth, tasting the drops of pre-cum he deposited on your tongue.

you heard him moan, some cusses flew out of his mouth, he moaned mainly your name, or called you by all sorts of nicknames.

"oh my, oh my... you're doing so good... mmh... g-good girl..." he moaned out.

his words were able to bring back that heat at the bottom of your stomach. you slowly directed your hand in between your thighs and started stroking your own bundle of nerves. loki didn't seem to notice, too lost in the waves of pleasure you were giving him.

he was now moaning deliberately. he tried... he really tried, but he couldn't contain himself anymore, he grabbed your head, pulled you by your hair and pushed your head down to take more of his shaft. you awaited a gag or any sort of resistance on your part, really, but nothing came.

loki got up from where he was sitting, your head still enveloping his shaft and started moving back and forth, you being completely at his mercy. he was deliberately fucking your face, and you let him.

he moaned your name so many times you'd lost count. he became more and more agressive with each thrust until all of his shaft was buried down your throat. he held your head down for a few seconds, gripping at your hair, letting his cock sit in your mouth, until he finally pulled out, a strand of saliva escaping your lips. he was out of breath, but not as much as you.

"you feel so good, my love. you're doing amazing" he said, panting.

you gave him a few kitten licks, asking for more. he buried his cock again down your throat, pumping in and out. he was fucking your face as though it was a cunt, using your throat as a mere hole that was made to mold his shaft perfectly.

you weren't gagging which surprised you. you'd never tested your gag reflex, but obviously you didn't have any.

you felt him go faster and faster until he once again, suddenly stopped as your head was completely enveloping his shaft. but this time, he started grunting and moaning, louder, in more of an animalistic way, holding your head down, hard, as deep as he could go.

"i- i'm cumming, love" he grunted out.

suddenly, you could taste bitterness, saltiness explode in your mouth, and run down your throat. your first instinct was to spit it out, but your god kept your head in place, making you swallow. it felt never ending. he kept cumming and cumming. you thought the taste would repulse you, from what you had heard from friends and the internet, but you honestly didn't find it to be that disgusting.

he stayed in that same position, holding your head in place, for another ten to fifteen seconds after he came. you felt his cock twitch in your mouth and he finally removed himself.

you took a deep breath, considering you could finally breathe properly.

loki knelt down to your level. he looked at your face. fortunately, you weren't wearing makeup, so no makeup to ruin. your eyes were red, tears had run down your face, you had spit all over the sides of your face, and some of loki's cum had fallen out of the corners of your mouth. he wiped it with his thumb and took it up to your mouth.

you sucked his thumb dry, tasting him yet again.

he gave you a loving smile.

"mine." he simply said, in a soft manner.

he then kissed you in the most loving way he could, tasting himself on your lips.

he then backed away, looking you up and down, noticing your hand still wondering around in between your thighs. he smirked and locked eyes with you.

"i think we're gonna have to take care of that." he said, as he got up. he was now standing up while you were still on your knees. you noticed his cock was hard again, once it got to your eye level. how was that even possible? how could he be hard again this quick? you had to remind yourself he did have the stamina of a god. he handed you his hand for you to take, which you did.

he got you up and carefully placed his hands on the sides of your head and started stroking your hair.

"are you still sure you want to do this my love?" he asked.

you chuckled.

"after what we've done? i'm pretty sure there's no backing up now?"

he gave you a confused look.

"of course there is. i'm not gonna do anything you're not comfortable doing, sweetheart." he said.

you sighed at your poor choice of words.

"and i know that." you started. "but i'm ready. i want you... loki."

he smiled yet again. he didn't say a word. he just kissed you. it was a passionate kiss, like all of your others that night. his hands roamed around your body as if it was discovering it again for the first time.

taking you by surprise, he lifted you up, flipped you around and threw you on the bed. never had you been picked up before. you always thought you'd break the person's spine. but loki lifted you up so easily, you felt like a feather.

"you're mine" the god grunted, as he plunged on top of you. he spread your legs open, as far as he could and positioned himself right between them.

he reached down to your bundle of nerves and drew circles with his fingers like he did earlier. he wound up plunging his fingers inside you yet again, prepping you for what was about to replace them. you could feel his length harden even more against your thigh, as he did so.

you started whimpering, wanting more than just his digits to fill you.

your whimpers were like music to loki's ears. he loved hearing how much you longed for him. he loved seeing you squirm under him. he enjoyed feeling all powerful, having that much control over you.

"take me" you sighed out, looking at your lover straight in the eyes. you couldn't hold it in anymore. you needed him. you needed him inside you. now.

he smirked as he bent down, to leave a soft kiss on your forehead.

"tell me when you want to stop, my darling. use your words." he asked of you.

you nodded, agreeing to his words, whilst trying to spread your legs even further.

his fingers left your core, leaving you needy and wanting to feel him once more, but they were quickly replaced by what you knew was his tip. he started slowly moving back in forth in between your folds, teasing at your entrance.

he gave you a look, pleading for approval.

you slowly nodded, ready to take him in.

you felt his his bulb starting to peak inside of you. you winced, feeling a slight resistance.

he stopped. but you nodded again, asking for him to continue.

as he buried his shaft deeper in you, it started to really hurt. for real this time.

"ow, ow. stop." you asked. "but stay inside. just stay... stay like this. let me- let me adjust."

he listened to you.

"are you okay, my love?" he asked, still halfway inside of you.

you nodded again, breathing heavily. you knew you could do it. you wanted to.

"p-... proceed." you said.

he listened to you again, burying himself entirely in you. he let out a loud grunt. your walls had adjusted to the size of his member and it felt less painful.

your lover moaned again.

"you.. are so tight, oh my. you feel so good." he panted.

you smiled. you loved seeing him in this much pleasure. you loved the passionate, lustful look on his face, all of it was for you.

he started moving back and forth, slowly, being really careful of each and every one of your movements, analyzing if you wanted to continue or not.

the first few thrusts were painful but eventually the pain left and absolute ecstasy took its place.

loki noticed the change in you and decided to give his thrusts more power, barely able to contain himself. he pumped in and out of your aching core at a medium rate. he wanted to go faster, harder but he stayed careful.

but you... you wanted more. you started clawing at loki's back, bringing him closer to you and leaving red scratches all over his back. you kissed his neck, his torso, leaving him the same bruises he left you earlier, though yours weren't as agressive as his. yours were small, red, but his eventually became huge purple bruises. and you had them all over your body. he started leaving you some more, on your neck, your collarbone, imitating your movements.

"more..." you pleaded.

he smirked against your skin, left you yet another passionate kiss on your lips and with that, his thrusts became harder, more agressive, much faster. you felt as if he was trying to crawl inside of you.

you both started moaning and screaming each other's names at the top of your lungs. your lover got up, detaching his torso from yours, trying to find an angle where he could go deeper inside of you. you wanted him back, missing the heat of his body. you reached out to him with your arm, but he firmly grabbed it, stopping you in your tracks. you were surprised. he looked down at you, staring at you straight in the eyes. his eyes went dark. his hand that had stopped your movement, trailed up from your hand, to you elbow and up your arm, until it reached the crook between your shoulder and your neck. his thumb drew circles over your cheek, then your chin and finally on your throat. you didn't even have the time to realise but his hand had completely wrapped itself around your throat, choking you slightly. you could still breathe completely fine, but his hand held your head in space, as his thrusts became even harder, if that was even possible.

he started panting, completely losing himself in the moment.

he bent down again, still holding your throat in his hand. he grabbed you and forced your face to be centimetres from his.

"mine." he said in a deep, grunting voice.

that word was the one that completely sent you over the edge. you could feel your walls clench around his member, your were close. you needed your release.

"loki... i'm close." you tried sighing out.

he understood you perfectly. the hand he wasn't using to choke you found its way down between your legs and started playing agressively at your clit.

"let go, baby... let go" he panted.

you couldn't hold it in anymore. you let your orgasm take control of your entire body. your legs were shaking, your hips started grinding against loki's, your hands scratched at his back even deeper, your eyes were rolling back inside your head, and your mouth gaped wide open, letting all sorts of cusses fly out of your mouth.

as you rode out your orgasm, you knew loki was close as well. seeing you in this intense state, all because of him, sent him over the edge and he knew he couldn't hold on much longer.

you started grinding your hips even more agressively, trying to meet his.

"come on, baby..." you whispered in his ear, leaving all sorts of wet kisses and hickey's all over his body.

you ran your finger through his curls, pulling at his hair.

and that's when you knew. you felt his hand grasped at your throat even tighter, making you gasp for air. he stopped moving, buried deep inside of you.

"oh my fu..." he started, moaning loudly.

you had made some research about how it would be like to have someone cum inside of you. you found out most people couldn't feel it. but you did. you felt all of it. you felt a warmth completely invade your insides, it kept coming and coming, just like earlier but this time inside of you.

loki's hand was still wrapped around your throat, holding it firmly, but as his orgasm ended, he eventually loosened his grasp.

when he finally stopped coming, as he was still buried inside you, he finally looked up at you and left a wet kiss your lips.

"i love you" he said, out of breath.

"i love you too."

loki looked down and smirked, taking his hand off your throat.

"no... don't say it like that... don't say "too"... it sounds like you're just agreeing with me. say it for real..."

you scoffed a little, thinking his request to be a little ridiculous. but you understood. you ran your fingers through his raven locks, held his head between both your hands, making him look at you.

"i love you, loki... i love you." you said softly, staring into his ocean blue eyes.

he gave you a wide smile and kissed you once more. he gave you a kiss full of love and passion.

after your kiss, he slowly pulled out of you. you felt so full, a second ago, the absence of his shaft between your legs contrasted so much with the empiness you now felt.

loki bent down again between your thighs to watch his seed run out of you. it felt yet again, never ending, but loki watched attentively.

"what a beautiful sight... may i snap a picture?" he said, jokingly.

"shut up..." you said in the same tone.

he gave you one last lick to your core and licked his lips, not minding his cum, plastered over your folds.

"i'll get a towel..." he said, leaving one last peck on your lips.

"thank you, honey..." you thanked him softly.

as you layed, completely naked on your bed, you thought.

you no longer felt restrained in your own skin, not around him at least. he made you feel seen, loved, desirable. you hated your body a little bit less, now. you might even try eating in front of people! maybe... you and loki didn't just have sex that night. you made love. he didn't just take your virginity, he made you into a better, improved version of yourself.

you were never more in love with him than in that moment.

loki came back with a light pink towel. he rose your hips up in the air and deposited it under you. he used the other end of the towel to wipe his seed off you.

once you were clean, loki got back off the bed and put the towel back in the bathroom.

he joined you in bed and wrapped his arms around you.

you felt so good. better than you had in years. with him. you felt so loved.

you didn't want to move, but you remembered you had to pee after a sexual intercourse... you read it in a blog.

you nudged loki, trying to get off the bed, but loki held you back, making it impossible for you to move.

"don't... even think about it." he said firmly under his breath.

you chuckled.

"i'm gonna get a urinary tract infection... and it's gonna be on you." you said in an accusing manner.

"darling, i'm a god... i have super powers, you're not gonna get a... whatever sort of infection you're talking about."

you scoffed, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck, sighing heavily.

loki left a loving kiss on the top of your head and held you tighter.

"you're mine... all mine."

+++

word count: 7395.... comment if you liked it loveys!! what was your favourite part?

#loki smut #loki laufeyson #plus size #plus size reader #marvel #tom hiddleston #loki x reader #loki x plus-size reader #smut

2K notes · View notes

malfoys-demigod · 3 years

Text

“She is no longer a proud Slytherin to me.” D.M x Reader

Request from @the--queen-of-hell

-> OOOOH GURL.Hear me out. This isn't a request but if you like it feel free to use this!So, in the events of TDH, when the trio is taken to the manor, let's say reader is caught with them and brought to the manor. She's a slytherin but she fights against Voldemort..But she is also in a secret relationship with our beautiful Draco.So, Bellatrix tells the goons to take them all to the dungeon, including reader.Draco says that HE will be the one to take them, just so he can make sure that reader is fine.He tries his best to be convincing that he HATES them, so he grabs reader and pushes her around til they're in the dungeon.Omce theyre there, Draco starts worrying about her and asks her if he's hurt her, if she's okay... And while she reassures him that she is fine he pulls her close to him and presses a soft kiss on her forehead 🥺🥺🥺🥺BUT every one in the dungeon can see that, but he doesn care. HE WANTS HIS LOVE SAFE AND ALIVE. So he promises to help her...and the others... Escape.They both survive, and live happily together forever 🥺💚

Summary: During the Deathly Hallows, Y/N and the Golden Trio are being brought to the one place she wished to see on any other occasion, Malfoy Manor, to be held captive by Bellatrix and the Malfoys. Will Draco keep his guard and pretend he doesn’t care for you? Or will he save the person he loves the most in his life?

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: I finally made this request! Thank you so much, for this lovely request.

Taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @bbeauttyybbx

There was an immeasurable secret that you have been deeply pledging to yourself to keep until the moment was right to let it all out. On no occasion was there a moment in time where you could shout it to the skies and feel as free as a bird. For the last six years, on no account has there ever been a moment where you could make it known that you were the secret girlfriend of Draco Lucius Malfoy. During this evil time of seventh year, perhaps the secret would stay forever to your heart, should the plan not go as expected for Team Harry.

There were times when you couldn’t stand keeping the secret. Seeing other couples, freely expressing their love to each other. The adorable yet minimal displays of affections that lovebirds could do with each other started to eat you up inside as the years flew by as you started to blossom into a young adult.

While you watched the simple things such as someone leaning down on their lover’s shoulder as a smile crept under their soft and light faces as the other held them tightly, squeezing the love out, you were sitting alone, with your friends, who probably had the same situation going, or didn’t happen to care about the things you were watching as you sat as far away from the one person you could be doing the things you were watching.

But, no.

You couldn’t watch a quidditch game with heart-shaped eyes as your favorite seeker flew from left to right, up and down.

You couldn’t agree to go on a date to Hogsmeade with any other boy, as you tried giving the most bizarre reasons that you could think of, letting all the boys assume that you were clearly uninterested in a romantic relationship during your Hogwarts life.

You couldn’t travel down to Malfoy Manor over the holidays, knowing you wouldn’t even receive a gift at home. sent from the Manor you dreamed of visiting.

You couldn’t shout that you were in love with Draco Malfoy.

Despite deeply knowing that it was highly unlikely to go public with the man you love, there have been times wherein you just couldn’t take it anymore. You knew how much this secret should be kept safe, but there were just times where it drove you out of your mind, wherein, yes, you knew, but you just weren’t in the right state of mind.

FLASHBACK

During the evening of Valentine’s day, every student, whether single or taken, were all having pleasant meals in the Great Hall. Love was truly in the air for most people. The moment the day had started, it was like everyone inhaled love potions created by who knows, as the day was considered a jolly and carefree day for all.

Smiles were growing from everyone’s faces as they either watched adorable couples hold hands, or be in the position of those couples, smiling as wide as possible as it was a day truly made for them.

This day could have been for you as well if the world knew of your romantic relationship with Draco.

Oh, the countless romantic things he could have done for you. He had never dated anyone seriously before but the secret flirting he had experienced with you could already explain how much of a suave and gentleman he could be.

So, as you watched couples playfully spoon feed each other and make tiny messes during the process, you internally groaned, resting your head on your cupped palm as your elbow placed some weight on the table.

You had finished only half of your dinner as everything about Valentine’s day had made you lose your appetite. Spending the day pretending to be something that you weren’t, felt like any other day that you have been going through for years. Today just made things more difficult for you since these couples were expressing their love more freely, making you yearn for the things they could do.

Sick and feeling more hopeless than usual, you slowly stood up from your table, dragging your eyes and feet away from every couple that you dreamed of being as you attempted to nonchalantly exit the Great Hall as if nothing bothered you.

This attempt was a complete failure through the sneaky eyes of Draco Malfoy who was silently watching you from the ends of the Slytherin table. He had been observing you quietly from his side of the Slytherin table, noticing and feeling the emotions from inside of you.

Ever since this morning, you had been utterly quiet during classes, either staring at people you didn’t know, or trying to get the sight of those people out of your head as you were focusing in class with an uncomfortable expression.

This obviously led to realizing that it was about the little holiday that lovers were currently celebrating. He knew that there were times when you wanted to shout to the world that you were proudly and madly in love with him. He felt the same, but he was more controlling of himself, not expressing to you that he wanted to do the same thing.

During meal time in the Great Hall, he came in early, and once you entered, he could already sense the emotions boiling in your system as you slumped on the table, looking like the saddest person in the castle as you tried ignoring your friends or giving them short answers if they tried talking to you.

As you ate, you tried giving yourself the slowest bites, giving more attention and focus on the deep thoughts you were thinking about. These deep thoughts led you to not finishing the remaining half of your plate and got you to abruptly stand up from the table and exit the Great Hall, being the first one to end her meal time.

Draco obviously wanted to follow. He counted to a good ten seconds in order not to seem suspicious about following you out of the Great Hall. When ten seconds were over, he told his gang not to follow him as he had, ‘the bad stomach.’ Knowing that nobody wanted to hear that while they were eating, they told him to rush out, telling him not to worry about it.

When he stood up, he watched his own actions as he smoothly briskly walked out of the Great Hall, hoping to catch up with the girl of his dreams. If he had the Astronomy tower to hide and let out his emotions, you had the Black Lake.

You were staring at your sad reflexion by the waters of the Black Lake. It was cold outside but this didn’t matter to you anymore as the sadness had clouded your mind and body.

Watching your reflection by the waters was something you only did when you were either sad or in deep thinking. Tonight you were both.

You crept down, touching the water with a single finger, causing a ripple that made small movements, resulting in your reflection to move as well. Usually this would make you grow a smile on your face but you were too sad to do that.

Sighing, you said, “When will this end?” You asked yourself.

Then, a platinum blonde hair had started creeping up behind your reflection, standing behind you with a small smile. “When this is all over, you know that.”

You stood up, turning around to see your boyfriend Draco remove his Slytherin scarf from his neck, “Wouldn’t want to see you freezing, love.” He said, wrapping the scarf around your neck gently.

“I can’t wear this forever, you know people will know, the green apple scent, the fact that I didn’t leave my dorm with a scarf, everything.” You declined the gesture, unwrapping the scarf from your neck.

As you were doing this, Draco frowned, placing his hands on your neck to prevent you from completely removing the scarf from your neck. “Wear it for now, please, we’re still outside.”

“I won’t be for long,” you said, removing his hands from your neck as you completely removed the scarf, something he tried avoiding, as you were prepared to leave the scene.

Draco stepped to the side, guarding you from leaving him as he looked at you with a careful look on his face. “You’re here for a reason, and I would like to know why.”

“It’s nothing, I just wanted some fresh air.”

“If I’m not mistaken, dear, I think I heard you ask yourself when this secret of ours would end. Correct?”

“No, because technically I didn’t say that. You don’t know if the question is under the same context as what I was thinking.”

“What else could you be asking yourself what would end? Our relationship?” Draco asked, pouting, knowing that you wouldn’t dare question that.

“Of course not, you fool,” you rolled your eyes, “Okay so maybe I might have been asking when keeping our secret could come to an end. So, what? I always ask this.”

Draco crossed his arms, giving you a smirk as he knew the reason why you were being so odd today. You looked at him with a confused look, wondering why he was smirking.

“But it’s not always Valentine’s Day.” He truthfully said, catching you off guard as your eyes widened, seeing that Draco had gotten the answer right.

You sighed, looking down at your shoes, “I just can’t stand how we could have been spending our time together like every lovebird today. I can’t stand how we have to keep us a secret.”

Draco slightly frowned, knowing exactly how you felt. He placed his hands on your shoulders, tilting his head for you to see his face despite looking down at the ground.

“Y/N/N, my dear, look at me,” he begged, making you look up at him with a sad face, “We’re starting to live in mad times. You know that. Once everything is all over, we can live our lives freely. Hang on right, okay? This is going to be some bumpy road along the way. As long as you keep your faith in us, we will get there. Can you be a patient little lovebird for me?”

You playfully rolled your eyes after hearing him call you a ‘little lovebird’ but still nodded in agreement, making Draco chuckle and smile at your response, saying, “That’s my girl,” then placed a small and quick kiss on your forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Draco.” You greeted back. Then turned around to see some students leave the Great Hall and enter the corridors despite being a little bit far away from the castle. “Would you mind if I left first to not make anything suspicious?”

“Of course, ladies first, dear.” He said, encouraging you to walk away. “See you around, you know I’ll keep an eye on you from afar, yeah?”

“Always,” you smiled, then turned around, running off to the castle, pretending that nothing happened, which slowly broke your heart a little bit.

Draco huffed in sadness as he realizes he had to do the same thing when it was his turn to leave the lake and return to his dorm. “We’ll get there,” he muttered to himself.

From there on, Draco and you had continued keeping the secret, whether either of you were weak to your knees or capable of being as strong as possible.

Through your ups and downs, the both of you had managed to have sealed lips every day. To make things easier, Draco had set up more secret meetings with you, to keep the love in the air as strong as possible.

These secret meetups were either in the Astronomy Tower, the Black Lake, or any secret place that nobody was seen occupying or passing through frequently. These times together were the only times you could express actual love to the person you pretended to see as a stranger.

Unfortunately, the battle between You-Know-Who and Harry Potter only became more intense than ever during your seventh year. This tension between the two of them had been going on for quite some time and the actual battle had to come sooner or later, and it did arrive, during your final year at Hogwarts.

You couldn’t imagine how badly things ended up for it was a traumatic experience for you and Draco to be in different teams of the battle, challenging the relationship the two of you had shared for the last few years.

When the tension had risen during the first of seventh year, Draco had secretly told you that this was the ultimate thing the two of you had prepared for mentally, emotionally, and physically. Forget the secret meet ups, forget the jealousy of wanting to be like other couples, forget it.

There was no time for either of you to hold each other tightly while the battle went on. Despite being a pureblood Slytherin, you went your separate ways as you were with the Golden Trio, fighting against You-Know-Who.

So there you were in the dark night along with the Golden Trio as fellow death-eaters had grabbed a hold of the four of you as they forced you into walking towards the place that you had always wanted to visit in your life.

Malfoy Manor.

This was certainly not the way you had wanted your first visit in your boyfriend’s house to be like but what could you do? You would rather go insane and be sent to Azkaban than become a death-eater and hold the most gruesome meetings in Malfoy Manor, serving the Dark Lord himself in plotting against Harry Potter and Hogwarts.

As you were taking a look of the Manor you had once dreamt of, there seemed to be a figure by the gates, jumping happily and crazily as the figure had seen a glimpse of four teenagers walking towards the gates with death-eaters.

“Woo-hoo!,” said the voice in a high-pitched manner, “Walk faster, I’d like to see the look on their precious faces.”

Getting closer to the gates, you saw Bellatrix Lestrange as her whole outfit from top to bottom was all in black. Her hair seemed to be the messiest hair you had ever seen, looking as if she hasn’t had the experience of brushing it properly, only to make it as messy as possible.

With her hand sticking out of the gate, she pointed at Harry, who was to your left. The death-eater dealing with him smirked and forcefully pushed Harry towards the gates where Bellatrix grabbed him by the shirt.

She scanned up quickly, as her eyes flew up and down Harry, grinning crazily as possible, probably thinking of something horrible to do with him. She let out a small laugh, “Get. Draco.” she whispered, making Hermione grunt in anger as she tried removing the tight grip the death dealer assigned to her had on the girl.

Your eyes widened upon hearing the familiar name that she had mentioned. It was only a matter of time for Draco to appear in this situation. After all, this was his house, so it was obvious that he had to be there.

As Harry was still up-close in front of the maniac Bellatrix, the madwoman extended her arm, holding a tight grip on Harry’s shirt, followed by the death-eaters who were doing the same to you, Hermione, and Ron, tightening their grips on the three of you as they watched Bellatrix nod, giving them a signal they had been prepared to do.

You were all apparated into the interior of Malfoy Manor. It was quite uneasy after being apparated for the first time. You stumbled a bit, causing to lose balance but gained it in a few seconds as your eyes were now making themselves familiar with the new surroundings you were in.

Scanning around the unfamiliar manor, there was a grand white fireplace that had no fire in it, there were tables, and other furniture placed by the sides, giving the whole middle area of the room enough space to move around freely.

This must have been the lively living room that Draco had mentioned to you before.

Speaking of Draco…

As Bellatrix had pushed Harry down to the floor, grunting and breathing in pain, there happened to be a group of footsteps, casually walking towards you and the rest of the captives. Despite not looking up yet to see the faces of the people who were walking towards you, you exhaled nervously, knowing the possibility of knowing one of the owners of one of the footsteps.

Carefully, you looked up to see Draco Malfoy, now standing tall in front of you, wearing his trademark of an outfit. He was wearing his black suit gracefully as his parents were wearing the same color, so was Bellatrix. His eyes were on you for a second, and it seemed like there was a mixture of fear and anger as he gave you a quick look.

Holding himself properly, he then turned his view to Harry as Bellatrix aggressively pulled him up, now kneeling and still breathing in pain. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were too looking at the boy who lived, judging him with such distaste and superiority as if their lives depended on it. They motioned the death-eaters of Hermione and Ron to pull them to their side, pushing them to the other side of the room.

Forgetting to wonder why they didn’t have you pulled to the other side as well, your eyes were still glued on Draco despite the fact that he was now looking at Harry with the same judgemental eyes as his parents, but there was only a small hint of nervousness or confusion in him.

Bellatrix started to grow impatient as the Malfoy’s were just staring at the person she had been holding tightly. “Well?” she reminded, pushing herself to continue with the smile she had on her face.

Draco scanned Harry, up and down quickly, “I can’t be sure,” he shakily replied to his aunt.

“Draco,” Lucius warned him, walking towards him as he held him by the neck, shaking him slightly as Draco looked uncomfortable with the situation, causing himself to look down to the ground, “Look closely.”

Then Lucius turned back to Narcissa for a quick second, then back to Draco, still holding him in the neck, “If we want to hand Potter to the Dark Lord, everything will be forgiven! We will all be as it was, don’t you understand?” he pleaded with Draco, trying to get a nod from his son, who only could give a small shaky nod as he was looking closely yet terrifyingly at his father.

“Now we won’t be forgetting who actually caught him, I hope, Mr. Malfoy?” said one of the death eaters with an insulting attitude.

Lucius didn’t bother look to see who had insulted him as he looked away, scolding, “Don’t you dare talk to me like that in MY OWN HOUSE-”

Narcissa rushed to her family’s side, holding his husband, pleading, “Lucius,” she whispered, managing to hold and walk him a few steps backwards, leaving a more terrified Draco, inhaling and exhaling quicker.

You were desperately holding yourself from going to him, comforting him and telling him that everything was going to be alright even though the chances of that were really difficult to talk about at the moment since you were now in the hardest situation in your life so far. ‘

But Bellatrix spoke before you could think more about Draco, “Don’t be shy, sweetie,” she encouraged her nephew, having him walk slowly closer to her and Harry, “Come over,”

Draco knelt down, closing some space between him and Harry, feeling uncomfortable.

“Now, if this isn’t who you think it is and we call him, he’ll kill us ALL. We need to be absolutely sure.”

Draco analyzed the boy in front of him, seeming slightly confused aside from being overly terrified. “What’s wrong with his face?”

“Yes! What IS wrong with his face?” Bellatrix asked, sounding actually curious.

“He came to us like that,” spoke a death eater, “Something he picked up in the forest.”

“Right,” Bellatrix whispered to herself, then turned around to Hermione and Ron, “Was it you two?” she pointed at them with her wand. The two of them remained silent, watching Bellatrix carefully as they were still being held tightly by the death eaters.

Draco’s eyes were now glancing at you, now that Bellatrix wasn’t able to see that his attention was now on you. He remained the same, just looking at you heavily as if he was trying to mentally tell you something. You looked at quietly, with soft eyes as if you wanted to tell him, ‘Oh, Draco’ with a sigh.

But seeing that the two of them did not give her an answer, she turned back to you, as you were still by Harry’s side. “Or how about you, dear Y/L/N?”

Surprised, you asked, “You know me?”

“Course I do, little miss Y/L/N, pureblood Slytherin, daughters to respected death eaters who I’d pay good galleons to see the looks on their faces if they were here to see how disappointed and embarrassed they’d be if they were in the same room with their selfish little blood traitor daughter of theirs!”

Embarrassed but at the same time angered at the words coming from her mouth, you silently looked down to the ground, muttering to yourself that you needed to keep yourself together from lashing out and making things worse. You held your words from coming from your mouth, closing your mouth strongly.

There was a slight angered emotion in Draco’s eyes as he was pained to hear what his aunt said about you. If this was like any normal day, he would hex a nasty spell at whoever dared say something cruel to the nicest person he had in his life. Still kneeling down facing Potter, Draco slowly started removing his wand, trying to stop the temptation of hexing that spell on his aunt.

Thinking that Draco was pulling his wand for other reasons, Bellatrix happened to have a lightbulb switch on above her head, giving her an excellent idea.

“Give me a wand,” she said, now looking at Hermione, “I wanna see what her last spell was,” she demanded.

Hermione turned around stiffly, watching Bellatrix walk past her, as she was in the process of getting a wand. Bellatrix started laughing, pointing at Hermione, “Ah, got you!”

She continued laughing again, taunting Hermione, as she looked so happy to see that all was going well again now. The smile on her face eventually dropped when she looked forward, seeing what was in front of her with a shock on her face.

“What’s that?” she asked in curiosity mixed with fear.

She was looking at a sword, which was held by a death eater, who seemed not so scared yet nonchalant about his situation.

“Where’d you get that from?”

“It was in her bag, when we searched her,” he truthfully replied, “Reckon it’s mine now.”

Without hesitation in her system, Bellatrix waved her wand, vanishing the death eater that had been holding the sword, as it was now in her hands. Hastily, she then choked the two other death eaters with the wave of her wand, putting them in fear.

You were also in fear yourself just by witnessing the madness your boyfriend’s aunt had in her. The Golden trio as well were also watching with terror in their eyes, not knowing what to do as they were standing, frozen like an ice sculpture.

“Get out!,” Bellatrix demanded, showing the death eaters that she had choked, away from the living room. They were limping, trying to get away as fast as they could.

“Sissy,” she said, walking past by her sister who was pointing her wand at the two, to make sure that they wouldn’t do anything as Bellatrix was now walking towards her. Bellatrix held Ron’s shirt tightly, as he looked at her with fright in his eyes since we were ever so close to Bellatrix, “Put the boys in the cellar!” she demanded.

Narcissa followed her sister’s command, pushing Ron and now Harry to death eaters who were about to show them the way to the cellars.

Bellatrix went to Hermione, “I’ll have a little conversation with this one,” she said, “Girl to girl!” she shouted, giving off the same closeness as what she did with Ron.

Thinking Bellatrix had forgotten about you, you looked at Draco for a fast second, who looked at you back with suspense, knowing exactly what you were about to do. He tried giving you small, pleading eyes, trying not to be obvious, but mentally begging you to not do what he thinks you’re about to do didn’t work. You shook off the death eater that was still holding you, walking right to Bellatrix.

“I don’t think so, Bellatrix,” you warned her, which made the death eaters assigned to Harry and Ron stop from bringing them to the cellar. “You’ll have to include me in this little conversation of yours before you could lay a hand on my friend.”

Feeling like she was threatened, Bellatrix turned to you with such rage in her eyes. She raised her wand, preventing you from walking closer to her, “Uh, uh, uh,” she warned you, causing you to stop walking, “Stay where you are, Y/L/N, you’re welcome to join our conversation, that is, before I-”

“That’s enough of this monstrosity!” Draco demanded.

Bellatrix lowered her wand slightly from you, looking slightly surprised that her nephew found the courage to actually speak now, since he was quite quiet earlier.

“Is there a problem, Draco?”

Draco nodded, looking at you with wrath, “Of course there is, it’s the audacity of this blood-traitor to talk to you in such a bloody way.” he said, pointing at you with such disgust.

Bellatrix flashed a proud smile at her nephew, placing her wand down to give a nod in agreement, “Why, you’re absolutely right, dear, Draco!” she said, playing around as she walked towards him to pat him in the back, “I suppose you can agree that she deserves a proper lesson from me?”

“Let me handle that for you, aunt.” he replied, giving Bellatrix a mischievous smirk, “I am far more disgusted to be in the same room as this blood-traitor. I stopped considering her an ally and a person worthy of respect and prestigiousness the moment she decided to humiliate her proud, well-known name. She is no longer a proud Slytherin to me.”

“Oh?” Bellatrix asked, letting out a fake gasp as she looked at your ‘hurtful’ face.

“You have no right-” you were interrupted when Draco advanced forward, pushing you as his grip was now on your arm, “Shut up, blood-traitor,” he scolded, “They are all going down to the cellar on my command now. I will teach them all a lesson.”

Draco thought he successfully won the argument as he started motioning for you and the boys to move when Bellatrix yelped an, “Ah!”

Everyone including you and Draco turned around to see that Bellatrix was holding onto Hermione, who looked like she was whimpering in internal fear.

“I believe this mudblood and I are going to have a conversation, the rest of the blood-traitors can go with you, Draco.” she held Hermione now in the shoulder, waving away Draco and the death-eaters.

“Very well,” he nodded, “Onto the cellars, you filthy rats.” he said, pushing you.

While walking away from the living room, you managed to turn around to give Hermione an encouraging look on your face as she was now about to have a little conversation with one of the most psychotic wizards alive.

She tried giving you the same encouraging look considering that you too, were about to go through some serious things as well. Although, something told you that with Draco’s stellar performance of pretending to despise you, you were going to be taken cared of well.

So you gave Hermione another facial expression before turning back, it was a slight frown at her, realizing that you were leaving a good friend of yours in serious trouble while you were probably saved from that kind of treatment.

The short trip to the cellar was quite quiet on your hand. Harry and Ron were speaking of horrible things about Draco to each other, knowing perfectly well that Draco could hear them.

Walking down to the cellars, Draco looked at the death eaters handling the boys and nodded, “I can take it from here.”

They simply nodded, walking back up the stairs to return to living room. Draco painterly waited for them to be out of sight as his eyes were watching the shadows of the death eaters starting to vanish.

When their shadows were long gone, Draco let out a huge sigh, dropping the superior aura he had been carrying all day long as he slouched, opening his arms to envelope you tightly into a massive hug.

“Oh, my dear, my dear, I missed you!” He confessed.

You hugged him back, rubbing his back as he started inhaling and exhaling with such pace. “I missed you more, Draco, are you alright?” You asked, pulling away from him, cupping his face with one hand.

He smiled, raising his hand to hold your hand which was softly rubbing his cheek now. “I’m not the same without you. I could ask you the same, please, are you hurt?” He sounded so cautious, looking at you, up and down to scan if you were alright.

“I’ve had better days,” you joked, causing him to smile.

“I know,” he said, “But honestly, my love, I have missed you. I couldn’t stop thinking of every worse situation that could have happened to you. Every night, I pray to Merlin, asking him to keep you safe and alive. I-I have nightmares of you, getting hurt, and not being able to save you, and it pains me, Y/N, I can’t lose you, okay? I’m so fortunate that you’re here alive. I would be so lost without you, I don’t think I could keep this up anymore had I known you were gone.”

You felt like your heart had just melted as your-not-so-secret boyfriend confessed his love to you in front of the most important people of the battle. If you could see your exact reaction to what Draco had just said, it was like the most sincere puppy eyes you could give him. It was like you were about to tear up and wail like a pained animal.

Placing your hands on your cheeks, you melted, “Aw, Draco,”

Draco, without thinking twice, pulled you in, closing the space between the two of you as he hugged you even more tighter than the first hug you gave each other just a few seconds ago. He rubs your back this time, softly stroking it carefully as he remained silent, knowing it was your turn to confess your feelings to him.

“I don’t want you to ever think about the worse things happening to me, okay? We will get through this together. We are a team, remember? It’s just you and me forever, Draco. I think about you every second of my life and I will never stop doing that because you and I are meant to be, forever. We need to continue watching each other’s backs, okay? We’re the only way we can keep going in life. When I’m far away from you, just remember I’m always in your heart. You got that, Dray?”

“Mhm,” he replied, covering his face on your shoulder, to hide the emotions he was displaying from Harry and Ron, who were shockingly witnessing a relationship that was kept a secret for years and now had gone public.

Pulling away, he wrapped one arm around you, so he could turn to the shocked Harry and Ron and quietly said, “I will help all of you,” he muttered, “I will help all of you escape.”

“Thank you, Malfoy,” Harry whispered, giving a nod of respect to Draco, who looked at you with a small smile on his face.

This was certainly not the ideal way to publicly reveal yourselves as a couple but the love couldn’t keep you and Draco Malfoy from hiding the secret another minute or two longer. The separation the two of you had ever since the battle had started getting more intense had made it harder for the two of you to see each other, or even communicate by owl.

Seeing each other after such a long time made it very clear that it was time to show everyone what they have been missing for years as the two of you had let go of the very secret you both swore to keep shut until it was the right time.

Smiling, you looked up to see your boyfriend seem very eager with his word. Knowing that you were looking at him, he turned to you with a relieved smile. He slightly towered down with his head, kissing you in the forehead, which made you giggle slightly, knowing that he enjoyed giving you small forehead kisses.

Perhaps sometimes love can be unpredictable when it comes to time.

#Draco Malfoy x Reader

200 notes · View notes