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#there were only 49 I feel cheated
dawnoftime22 · 3 months
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make it okay.
| W.M -> N.R
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 6
Chapter Warnings: Some subjects that you can kind of count as sensitive? Not getting enough sleep, Overthinking, Mental exhaustion, cheating, sad wanda and...I think, that's it. (please tell me if I'm missing any!)
Summary: With having finished a breakup with a cheating brunette, you go to visit Kate in New York, needing a best friend to keep you company in these trying times of yours.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 5.1k
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst
A/N: I'm veeeeery tired. very. need a hug. past few days was just :( also this chapter is mostly just kate giving comfort. sorry if I wrote her in a way thats off from her? I rarely write her character, but it was definitely fun, along with lucky. enjoy :]
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| Started on 05/03/2024, 3:49 PM |
| Finished on 18/03/2034, 6:53 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 5 Chapter 7 ->
"Having a soft and kind heart is a dangerous way of staying alive, sure. But I don't understand being cold and cruel when most of the world already is."
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After getting off the phone with Kate, you clicked on your seatbelt and put the car on drive, off to get out the side road. Before you do, you took one last look at the café and the flower shop. All that time spent, and for what, exactly?
You sigh. The wheel turns with your hand and you continue on driving, starting your journey to the airport. It wasn't a perfect day. Well, obviously, but the weather isn't perfect either. The sun shone down on you, burning up everything in its view outside while you pulled down the sun visor and turned the ac up.
It's hard not to get lost in thought as you made your way to the airport, your mind walking back to every memory, and every question you have unanswered. Is this how you're always gonna feel? Maybe so. Maybe not. But what were you supposed to do about it?
Nearly every scenery of this town that once had your heart beating of affection now doesn't even make it pulse at all. It stings, even dead, like the flower that was around it, grew thorns. You take a deep breath, trying to focus on the road.
Being in the love blackout already had you overthinking every little thing and wondering what exactly you've done wrong for Wanda to act so different, but it wasn't really you. It was her. Though, even with finding out about the new information, it didn't make things better. Of course, only worse.
Was it something you didn't do? Was it something you did? Or perhaps just a simple fall out of love. You should've known. Should've seen the signs. You didn't even want to think about it, but you can't help it. Did she leave her house in the middle of the night only for you to welcome her home? Did she gift someone else something while you got her flowers? Was she kissing another's lips while you sat there in the corner of the café, waiting for her?
You hear your phone making noise with notifications, one after another. You know it's Wanda, and your fingers twitch to reach out and grab it, but you don't pick up. Instead, you quickly put your hand out to silence your phone. If you didn't, or if you took any action that was opposite of that, you'd have turned the car around already.
You notice your vision getting blurry with tears, but you blink them away, needing to focus on the road ahead. You sigh when you stop at a red light, having time to wipe your eyes with your hands. The frustration only fueled your way forwards.
Getting drunk on New Year's Day, that was all just a ruse. Who knows if that wine was even hers that she bought. Maybe it was given by another. You would rest your head on your steering wheel by now in utter exhaustion and willingness to surrender to the unavoiding pit of pure darkness if you didn't have to keep your eyes on the road.
Another thought that distracted you from everything, was if you should call Carol. She'd probably wonder where you've gone and worry. But you decided you'll call her later.
An hour or two passes by and eventually the wheels of your car rolls up to the front entrance of the airport, the scattered crowds of people carrying luggages and trolleys making it a stark contrast from crowds outside of the airport.
Your eyes don't linger for too long, but your ears undeniably catch the PA announcer speaking, although New York was only mentioned once and it wasn't your flight. You continue on driving, getting through the many other cars sitting at the pickup site to go down to the basement, where the parking lot is.
It was packed, but not entirely. Passing by, you see shiny fresh cars, normal looking cars, and old dusty abandoned ones left by someone for some type of reason. You hoped your car doesn't end up like that, but you had no reason to let it sit in a parking lot for years. Soon, you found a small empty corner to slot your car into, easily going in.
The engine shuts down with the touch of your fingers and you get out, grabbing your bags and going over to the two-door entrance where the elevator was. Some people were there, but you try your best to simply stand and wait. Lucky you went in right as the elevator was about to arrive to the floor.
The airport lights were bright and blinding when the elevator doors open, making you squint your eyes and blink, but also remembering to step out and go over to the register section, grabbing your ticket.
Seeing as you got here early, your flight wasn't until an hour later, so you decide to roam the airport to get some breakfast first. Outside held plenty of restaurants and cafés though, so you went there.
You grabbed some breakfast from a café that caught your eyes, and sat down at the bench outside. It was pretty empty here, since most people were either at the entrance or the other side of the airport-- there, holding the more popular restaurants.
You were just about to grab your meal and take a bite after getting some liquid in your body when you feel a drop of water land on the skin of your hand.
Confused, your eyebrows furrowed as you look closer at it, the water rolling down your hand when you tilted it. You looked around to find nothing. Then the skies started to grow darker, the sun getting covered up by the clouds.
The rain came pouring down quickly after building up, making everyone else scramble to the entrance of the airport, it having a roof.
Meanwhile, a stranger somewhere at the parking lots was just stepping out their car when the rain came down. They go back in urgently, but only to grab an umbrella.
You were standing up from the bench and covering your head with your arms, about to do the same as most of the other people were doing. Running to shelter. Then, suddenly the raindrops on you stop.
Feeling the rain disappear, you slowly put down your arms and see a redhead beside you, holding an umbrella above the two of you to shield from the rain.
She didn't look at you for long, having turned her head to the airport entrance. Not wanting to get left behind, although you were sure you won't considering she had put the umbrella over you, you still quickly walk with her.
"Thank you," you say, chuckling a little as the coolness of the airport hits you combined with the rain drops on you, sending a shiver down your spine. You shove your hands in your pockets as she closes the umbrella.
"Of course." She said gently, her voice husky as she nods. Afterwards, nothing much happened. She had walked away, nearly in a hurry with her eyes focused on the big flight screen in the middle of the airport, but it wasn't entirely obvious unless you were staring closely at her. You guessed she was either late for her flight or was just trying to get to her area fast. A kind encounter with a stranger...at least there's one good thing for today.
You check the screen yourself, and your eyes searched for your own journey. When you didn't find it, you searched more panickly, until you restart from the top and it pops up. But it wasn't in its original place. Then, you go off to the side and see a bright red text gleaming with the word, 'DELAYED'.
Great. Now you have to wait longer. A bad thing right after the good thing. You sigh, but make your way to the sitting area anyway, going through security with ease.
Once you've gone to the section your plane would arrive...in a few hours. You sat down, sliding your phone out from your pocket and pulling up your direct messages with Kate, telling her you'll be late because of your flight.
After an hour passed of you being bored, scrolling on your phone and opening an app only to close it, mixed with overthinking while resting your head on your folded arms, a message finally pops up, and your fingers quickly tap on it.
Kate replied back with some film recommendations and videos of Lucky doing tricks and getting excited at the mention of your name, making you smile.
You guessed she was driving when you messaged her, but you didn't mind it, and watch the things she sent you.
It keeps you occupied for a long while, up until you forgot about time, but the sound of your plane arriving quickly reminded you.
You look up to the large windows at the side that showed the huge parking area of the airplanes. There were small cars along with someone holding red sticks to direct the plane.
Many eyes in the large room was watching everything go by, the vehicle holding all the passenger luggages, the people from that flight getting out. You guessed they were clearing it out and starting to clean up.
The other eyes in the room weren't even looking at all, focused on their phones, laptops, or simply their eyelids were closed in sleep. Most of them had probably been in an airport plenty of times to not be mesmerized by the movements and sound. Or doing work...or is simply tired.
You had enough time to finish up your movie before your plane was ready to board, making you gather your things and stand up, having finished your breakfast hours ago.
It didn't take much time to get in, easily going through the little portable hallway connected to the plane and letting the attendant check your ticket.
After finding your seat, you store your things in the compartment above, then settle down, buckling in the seatbelt. The seat beside you was empty up until a few minutes later, someone sitting in it. They did the same movements as you, but rather than watching the view out the window, they bring out a book, placing it in their lap as the plane started moving, having made sure everyone settled down and was seated.
You put on some music on your earphones and got ready for the journey ahead. It was only two hours to New York from where you were, but still you hoped it'll feel short. Maybe you'll get some sleep on the way.
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The plane soon landed once more, the turbulance actually smoother than most of the other ones you've gone through. The person beside you on the other hand, put the book they were reading down and grabbed onto their armchair.
You didn't pay much attention to it, more mesmerized by the tall buildings you can already see in the distance. You've been here plenty of times before to visit Kate, but the view was still stunning.
After the plane settled in its parking spot completely, you unbuckle your seatbelt and get up, just as everyone else, grabbing your bag and walking out.
A text to Kate was sent of your arrival. The walk felt longer than the flight as you made your way through security and up to the pickup site, where she was already waiting, your eyes quickly catching the familiar sight of the car and license plate.
You load the empty trunk of the car with your bags, then walk back to the front. The door opens with the pull of your hand, inside revealing the raven haired girl looking over to you with a gentle smile as you went in.
"Hey," She greeted, her voice soft and lightly pitched as she started moving the car out the side, both to get you two home and let the other cars pick someone else up.
"Hi. Sorry for being late," You say as you set your handheld bag down, buckling in your seatbelt as Kate's eyes flicker to you for a moment before focusing on the road again.
"Don't worry. It was pouring here." She goes to make a turn, getting out of the airport area and into the main road.
"I'm just glad you're safe," She says. A smile tugs up on the corners of your lips, your heart warming. Kate was always a caring, lighthearted and comforting person. No wonder you've been feeling so low...other than for obvious reasons. Calls and messages are never enough to capture the blanket feeling of being beside someone like that.
On the way, Kate asks a few questions and jokes here and there, catching up with you. There was a conversation needed to be talked about for sure, but she knows to save it for later, when you get more comfortable.
The rest of the journey to Kate's place was quiet, the silence only filled with the humming of the car and the music she put on. Your eyes watch the modern city buildings pass by. The sidewalks and roads were shining with the sheen of water, the rain having met it earlier.
It was only 4 pm, but you had a sort of sleepiness creeping up on you, perhaps from the mental, emotional and physical exhaustion mixed together. Kate notices, seeing how your eyes were too relaxed to count as just being calm. But she doesn't say anything, knowing you still wouldn't be able to fall asleep.
The car comes to a stop, making you snap out of being zoned out. Kate was gathering her things and turning off the engine of the car, moving to get out. Then you realize you had arrived at her apartment.
Your eyes go over the building as you got out the car, slamming the door closed...accidentally. Your eyes widen slightly and you grimace, looking at Kate, who had her mouth open in an O shape.
"Someone's really angry," she jokes, grabbing a plastic bag from the backseat. You gave a tight-lipped smile and went to the back of the car.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to," you quickly spew out your apology. The first hour you were with your best friend again, and you slam her car door. You grabbed your bags that were safely sitting in the trunk as she made her way to you.
"It's alright," she laughs, stepping in front of you while you slung your backpack over your shoulder. She held out a pack of dog treats to you while her other hand still held the plastic bag of groceries.
"Here." She puts out her hand further when you didn't take it, thinking you hadn't noticed. Then you look down and see what it is, your eyebrows furrowing in thought within your dazed mind.
You gasp when you realize it. "I get to feed Lucky?" You ask, your face brightening as you look back up at her. She nods, a smile on her face. You quietly cheer as she made her way to her apartment, her keys rattling in her hand as you followed behind her.
The door opens with a click, and instantly, you hear the sounds of a gentle bark and running coming from Lucky, having arrived at the front door quickly to meet the two of you.
"Hey, buddy." Kate holds the door with her body, leaning down slightly to card her fingers through Lucky's fur.
"Look. Look, it's Y/N." She points to you, making the golden dog run to you, jumping as he went. You smile and kneel down, greeting him as he started licking your face. Kate watches the excitement of Lucky from the door, a fond gaze on the two of you.
"Okay, okay. I've missed you, too. Let's get inside now," you manage to say in between laughs, standing up. You went in with Lucky staring up at the pack of treats in your hand, lightly pawing at it with his tongue sticking out his mouth.
"Wait, I need to put my stuff down first." You pull back the pack of dog treats away from him while Kate closes the door. You can see the impatience he tried to cover with a look of calmness, but you know he would jump on you if he needed to get the treats.
You kick off your shoes and set down your bags in the bedroom you usually sit in whenever you visit Kate, Lucky following you around and circling playfully around you at times.
"He's really missed you," Kate says with a laugh, putting her grocery bag on the kitchen counter to unload and store the contents into her fridge and cabinets.
"I can see that," you say quietly, focused on opening the bags and putting food in his food bowl. Before setting it down on the floor though, you hand feed him a treat, patting his head with your other hand gently as he instantly ate it.
"As much as I would love to play around with him though, I should probably go change and shower." You say, having set down Lucky's food bowl, giving him one last longing pat and standing back up.
"Do you wanna watch a movie when you're done?" Kate asks, turning to look at you as she got done storing everything.
"Yeah...I probably need it anyway. You can choose." You say with a nod, and Kate watches you go to your bedroom, off to get yourself cleaned up, unpack, and unwind. She knew exactly what you were saying, and her heart ached just a little at the mere thought of your troubled mind.
You close the door behind you, taking a deep breath in once you were inside, letting it out as a heavy sigh after, walking to your bags to slide the zipper open.
Everything seemed to hit you all at once, your shoulders feeling heavy as it moves along with your hand to grab your clothes. You go to the bathroom, fatigue within your movements as you close the door, pull off your clothes, and turn on the shower.
The warm water running down your skin welcomes you, letting you relax a bit and your muscles letting go of its tensions. The steam filling up a bit of your breathing from the shower makes your body feel comforted, the barely noticeable movement of it going to everything that was glass in the bathroom, fogging it up.
A gentle yawn leaves your mouth, finally feeling the exhaustion take you over. But you still had some energy within you, so you willed yourself to clean yourself up and wash your hair, then turning off the shower once you were done.
You dry yourself off, then put on your clothes. When you were about to go walk out the bathroom though, you had a thought and turn on the sink for a quick second, splashing your face with cold water before drying your face with your towel once more. Now you were a little more awake.
You get out of the bathroom, parts of your hair dripping slightly. Since you already had your clothes on, you decide to unpack everything else, storing your shirts and pants in the closet.
Your eyes flicker to the bed, and the urge to fall into it was strong, but you hold yourself back. If you went into bed by now, you knew you probably wouldn't be able to get up anytime soon.
Once you've dealt with unpacking, you put your bags off somewhere in a corner of the room and move to the door, getting out the bedroom. Out in the living room, you see Kate, already sat down on the couch with a movie set up on the tv. She notices you and looks up.
"Hey. I made us some fries and nuggets." She gestures her hand towards the plates of fries and nuggets accompanied with sauce, making the smallest smile cross your face.
You sit down next to her, grabbing a few and taking a bite, the crunch sounding out as she looked at you eating, resisting a smile when you hummed in delight.
You shift your position on the couch, getting comfortable while Lucky jumped up, laying beside you, only to then move to lay on both of your lap and Kate's, but his head was on your side, making her shake her head at her dog's antics.
Your eyes focus on the screen when Kate hits play, one of your hands patting Lucky's head and traveling down to his body fur while the other one grabs the chicken nuggets and fries.
Kate gently pokes your shoulder multiple times, making you turn to look at her. She had fries in between her teeth and mouth, sauce sitting on the end of it for extra effect of blood, looking like a vampire's fangs. Instantly, you giggle, to which turn to laughs when one of the fries fell, leaving only one in her mouth.
She laughs herself, and quickly go to retrieve the fallen french fry. Although, right as her fingers held it, Lucky had moved and turned to her side, chomping on the fry. Kate grabs the fry in her mouth, eating that before he could try to steal it from her too.
"Hey! That's not yours." She exclaimed, but Lucky only looked at her innocently, licking her face for a moment, probably asking for more. She laughed, but gently push him away, needing to see the tv too.
"You're lucky you're cute." She shakes her head when Lucky had stopped, and settled down in your laps again.
"He's not just Pizza Dog anymore." You start, and she turns her head to look at you, the both of you having something in your heads.
"French Fry Dog," you say simultaneously, the sound of your voices mixing together along with your soft laughs afterwards. Lucky only tilts his head, confused of the sudden sounds from the two of you.
You focus back on the movie, getting invested in the story. The nuggets and fries were slowly going down to an empty plate, counted as snacks for the movie, but still filling up your stomach. The day had transitioned into nighttime now, time going by quickly.
When Lucky moved to settle beside Kate instead, probably needing a new position just as you did, you move to lay down, your head on the armrest and your arm dangling off the couch. At some times of the movie, you space out, your mind occupied with thoughts.
Kate's eyes were completely on the tv, comfortable and fully focused on the story. Your eyes flicker over to her for a split second before returning to the screen, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip.
"Kate?" You whisper, barely even within the sound volume of a breath. She hums and looks over to you, your body seeming weak against the couch. Lucky was now sleeping beside her.
"What if it doesn't get better?" Your eyes travel down to the floor, not meeting her eyes. Her eyebrows furrow at the suddenness of your sentence, and she sits up more properly.
Having felt the change in your demeanor, Kate quickly pauses the movie, putting all her attention on you. "Don't say that," She counters in a gentle tone.
"You'll get through it. You always have," She says, her voice a soothing sound through the night air. The crickets make noise in the background, having replaced the sounds of the movie now that it was paused.
"Do you think it was me?" You whisper, sitting up because your cheek was starting to get sore from resting against the armrest. You fiddle with your fingers and look at her as Kate quickly shakes her head.
"No. You've stayed through it with her in the worst of times and the best." She takes in how you fiddled with your fingers, a hint to your dark mind. A small gentle, although bit of a sad smile goes over her face as she thought of the softness of your heart.
"Everyone has their mistakes but after all this time I've known you, I think you have been so brave and just...such an amazing person." She says, knowing the many gestures of gifts and time and reassurances you've done before, both to strangers and people you know.
"The point is..." She takes a breath, trying to find the right words to say. She wanted to tread carefully, not wanting to accidentally say something wrong. You watch as she thinks, her words sinking into your mind.
"Don't blame yourself," She finally says, looking directly into your eyes to make sure you heard her completely and isn't lost in your head as she said it.
"The love was there, but you reached the end of it," she points out, unfaltering in her honesty, but her voice was gentle. The truth was, it was doomed from the start. You had it in the back of your head all the time. But there seemed to be such a high chance of it coming out alive from the beginning. Yet, all that was a simple trick your minds put on.
"But why did she...do that?" You ask hesitantly, your heart pained with cracks. You knew people did the things they wanted to, with a reason or not. But this was different. Kate purses her lips, a sigh leaving her mouth.
"Honestly, I'm not who you should be asking..." Kate says with a soft chuckle, a tinge of the sound having a nervous tone, but she needed to help you get out than dig yourself deeper.
"But maybe she didn't want to hurt you," She says with a gentle shrug. Her mind worried it was a bad thing to put out, but she sees your shoulders slumping in defeat.
"...But it did anyway." You sigh. It'll always hurt. Whether you'd like to admit it or not, no matter the ways its done in. She had nothing to say to that.
The two of you sit in quiet silence for a minute, needing the break to think. Lucky shifted slightly in his sleep, and Kate gently puts her fingers through his fur before looking at you once more, seeing your gaze lost in a haze of your thoughts.
"Now, come here." She lets go of Lucky and slowly pushes herself off the couch with her hands, standing up and turning to you. You raise your eyebrows at her, curious of her next moves.
"You're desperately in need of...a teddy bear hug!" She gently tugs on your arm, pulling you up to stand.
"Aw, no!" You joked with a chuckle as you get pulled into her embrace, her arms squeezing you tightly as if you were simply a plushie.
You hug her back though, relishing in the tight yet comforting embrace of her arms. Your body relaxed, feeling the weight on your shoulders slowly disappearing just slightly.
"Thank you." You say under your breath, pulling away from her. She slides her hands into her pockets, giving you a reassuring smile.
"It's what I'm here for." She said quietly with a nod, her eyes traveling over to the clock. Her mind jumps to the memory where you seemed sleepy, right in the car earlier.
"You should get some rest. Have you slept at all ever since you went to the airport?" She asks, nudging your shoulder with her knuckles. A faint thought of you in your worst times went through her mind just for a moment.
"No...but--" You look over to the tv screen, seeing you had just a quarter left to finish of the movie.
"Go," Kate says gently yet slightly sternly in a whisper, cutting you off. Lucky was already sleeping. She was still energized, but she could go to sleep at any time at the moment. Kate was just more concerned about you, hating to see you avoid taking care of yourself.
You look at her for a moment longer, your eyes flicking over to Lucky to think it over before giving in, your head moving in a gentle nod.
She gives you an encouraging smile, letting you go to your bedroom. As you did so, she started cleaning up, getting the plates from earlier and putting them in the sink. When she hears your bedroom door close, was when she could have her heart get just a tad lighter.
You make your way to your bed and turn the dim lights on, falling into bed easily. A sigh leaves your mouth, and you wanted to spill out your feelings, but all that was more on your mind was sleep.
The mattress was soft, and you wanted to sink into it, yet still, your head falls asleep after minutes of tossing and turning while the night delved deeper into a form of comfort.
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Wanda, on the other hand, hasn't been sleeping at all. She kept thinking over the memories of the past few months. It was like a contest of who can act like they can care less. At first. Then, she saw your efforts and got guilty, wanting to isolate herself instead.
The day you were waiting at the café. She was going to actually have lunch with you. But the person she was with had convinced her to stay. Her heart screamed no, but her mind was far from it. She was already falling out of love with you, so what could it hurt?
It seemed like the right thing at the time for her, and it was easier for her to put the blame on herself than making you overthink about the smallest things and make yourself the villain instead. She didn't want to hurt you. Your heart was the softest she's seen. But she only ended up hurting you further. It was a situation that only had loss.
Then, the birthday was an actual mistake.
She thought it'd be nice to get a day off to herself...and with another, hoping you'll still believe that she was at work, although the both of you had doubted it by that point already. But she actually forgot.
Your past, she knows. How many people you've drifted off from and never really got one to stay or even stayed yourself. Then you met her, who was struggling to believe how anyone could love her. And you decided to stay. For once, you poured your whole heart into it because you promised yourself not to run anymore. For once, she had someone in her life that truly cared for her.
And she did that.
Her legs curl further into her body, the bed being colder than the nights before. Was this what you felt whenever you slept alone and she was off doing whatever?
Her chest caves in and her heart gives up, the walls whispering back to her of her quiet cries.
end of chapter 6. <3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 5 Chapter 7 ->
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ifeellikeanopenwound · 7 months
Text
out late
rafe!cameron x gn!reader
summary: rafe comes home late.
wc: about 880
a/n: not proofread, sorry for mistakes! 😭
your leg bounces rapidly against a the carpeted floor anxiously as you watch the time on your phone
12:49 am.
six hours since rafe had left. he didn’t say where he was going but he said it’d be quick. you had an uneasy feeling since the beginning, rafe’s demeanor at the time seemed off.
now you’re waiting up on him and already you’ve messaged him too many times to count. each time without a response. so many thoughts are racing through your mind. thousands of possibilities of what could have happened come to mind. did he get into an accident? is he cheating? is he in trouble?
the pit in your stomach is only slightly eased when you hear the rusting of the door knob. immediately, your head snaps to the door to see rafe stumbling through.
you don’t know if you’re more relieved or angry that rafe is back after he left you without knowing where he was for hours.
he says nothing when he enters your shared house, darting towards the bedroom. you storm after him, not wanting to let this slide.
“rafe.” “where were you.”
it sounds more like a statement than a question. your voice is firm and direct and rafe can tell there’s no avoiding this.
“out.” he mumbles
“no, that’s not good enough rafe.” “where the hell were you for hours that you couldn’t tell me about?”
“i’m a grown man. i can do whatever the fuck i want, and i sure as hell don’t need to report back to you.” rafes says in a bored tone as he flops himself onto your bed.
you try so hard to stop from fuming but you couldn’t believe the audacity rafe has!
“why won’t you tell me? were you with someone?”
“jesus- fuck, no, i just- i can’t tell you.” rafe says sighing while dodging your gaze.
“yeah cause that’s not suspicious as all rafe” you scoff out.
“can you stop being insecure for five fucking seconds y/n! do you not trust me?”
insecure? is he serious? no, he’s not starting this toxic shit right now. not when you’ve done nothing wrong.
you move closer to rafe, raising your voice slightly as you speak, “are you shitting me rafe! do not put this on me, you’re the one who left with no explanation to where you were going, and left me up all night waiting!”
“why are you making it such a big deal? am i not allowed to go out?”
god he is infuriating.
“that’s not the point rafe! i’m your girlfriend, you should tell me these things.”
“actually, i don’t have to tell you shit.” he bites out
“tell me where you were or i’ll leave rafe.”
“i guess you should leave then.”
you scoff, and nod your head slowly. he wants you to leave? you’ll leave then. turning on one heel, you make your way to the closet in your bedroom and grab one of your many travel bags. you walk open to the dresser and yank the drawers open. you start mindlessly shoving clothes into the bag.
rafes eyes widen slightly, like he didn’t expect you to actually do anything. he gets up from the bed and rushes to you.
“baby, please i’m sorry. don’t leave me y/n.” rafe is pleading, his hands trying to grab at your hands.
your hands pause what they were currently shoving into your bag as you look up at rafe. “where were you!”
he hesitates for a second, looking into your eyes then looking down. “barry’s..” it’s so quiet you almost don’t hear it. and know that you think of it, rafes pupils did seem large.
before you have a chance to ask any questions or say anything, rafe continues.
“i- i went there because my dads been on my ass about some shit. i was just gonna smoke some weed but i don’t know, there w- was coke- and i just wasn’t thinking. i know me being a month clean meant so much to you so i stayed for so long hoping you’d be asleep and i could just pretend it didn’t happen.” rafe finished explaining, his eyes slightly wet and locked on yours.
“im sorry i didn’t tell you baby.”
suddenly you felt most of your anger for rafe disappear. the sincerity in his voice was so pure and you feel slightly guilty for getting so angry at him. you look him in the eyes before speaking,
“rafe you know i would’ve helped you, you can always tell me these things, why would you think you can’t?”
“i didn’t want you to be disappointed in me y/n”
you immediately push your lips to rafe and wrap your arms so tightly around his neck.
“im not your dad rafe, i would never be disappointed in you for relapsing. please never think that. i just want to know that you’re okay and that you trust me.” “i don’t feel that when you hide things and sneak around from me”
“i know baby, im so sorry, i wont do it again.” rafe mumbles into your neck, holding you so tight you feel like it might be getting harder to breath.
you both pull back from each other, though hesitant to.
“i love you y/n”
“i love you too rafe.”
368 notes · View notes
Text
Requests in my inbox. Part 2
Time to update my list. Few things to be noted:
1. I might mixed up anon and non-anon requests. So, don't worry, if you were sure, that you have send your request as (non) anon, but in the list it in opposite group.
2. There are few more asks in my inbox, but, they are lean closer to asking a simple question and don't require to write a fic (or bullet fic). So, I didn't include them.
3. Thank you all for all interesting ideas and requests.
Anon
1. Ayatsuji Yukito, Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Selectively Mute Reader
2. Reader commited S* because of bullying
3. Something with Self-Aware! Chuuya
4. Teen! Autistic! Reader
5. Reader are extremely beautiful and feminine
6. Reader are also a character in anime and still aren't Self-Aware
7. Child! Reader are independent, because they came from abusive family (Dazai, Poe, Fukuzawa)
8. Reader main Ayato (Fitzgerald)
9. Teen! Reader who are a straight A student
10. Ranpo is Reader's favorite character
11. BEAST AU and Guiding Light
12. Reader are like Kanade Yoisaki
13. Teen! Reader were turned into a baby (Hunting Dogs)
14. Reader have an ability, that works in a dark (Sun/Moon inspired)
15. Reader casually mention 2016 clown craze
16. Guiding Light have a cheating partner (Hunting Dogs)
17. Reader are similar to Ariana Grande (short, can ran a marathon while wearing heels, will fall after taking a step, wearing slippers)
18. Something with Self-Aware! Francis
19. Characters reaction on Reader kinning them
20. Characters reaction on hearing a rap about them
21. Characters learn about Final Destination movies
22. Reader play BSD together with their best friend
23. Reader are a stage actor in BSD on Stage and play Dazai
24. Traveler-like! Reader
25. Another anime became Self-Aware (JJK)
26. Reader are underweight
27. Reader are a dub actor for someone from BSD
28. Reader are a smart 5-6 years old (Tetchou and Chuuya)
29. Furina! Reader
30. Reader gain an ability
31. Aroace! Reader
32. How BSD Characters will feel about Idol/Cosplayer Reader
33. Reader got home injured
34. Reader turned into a cat
35. Really Tall! Teenage! Reader
36. Teen! Reader who like to press buttons
37. Only BEAST AU became Self-Aware
38. Child! Reader didn't understand implications about Mori
39. Reader are like Izana Kurokawa
40. Genderfluid! GrayAce! Reader with PTSD from abusive friendship
41. Reader roast people's cooking on TikTok
42. Reader randomly mention funny events
43. Teen! Reader who came from Troubled Teen Industry
44. BSD being overprotective over Teen! Reader
45. Reader turned into a cat (2nd request)
46. Jingliu! Reader
47. Child! Reader with fear of abandonment
49. Reader have a dark past (Dazai, Atsushi and Chuuya)
50. Child Prodigy Reader
51. Male! Reader has Cyno's sence of humor
52. Reader have a mental disorder
53. Semi-romantic Chuuya x Adult! Reader
54. Focalor! Reader
55. Reader become angry because of an Imposter
56. Teen! Reader are a raging metalhead
57. Reader are a White Hat Hacker
58. SAGAU Cult AU
59. Self-Aware! Genshin and Self-Aware! BSD interactions
60. Reader died in Teyvat and returned to the real world
61. Reader have some ideas, how to help BSD Cast (Imposter au)
62. Reader are good at fitting things in places
63. Reader were SA by their Step-Father
64. Reader want to be an artist
65. Reaction to Bungou to alchemist
66. Feral! Teen! Reader
67. Child! Reader have a lung disease
68. Teen! Reader have troubles with following schedules
69. Reader are Aventurine
70. Imposter AU. Reader were SA
71. Child! Reader screaming while singing to a metal
72. Reader randomly cuddle with BSD Characters
73. Teen! Reader copy Mori's, Dazai's and Ango's behavior
74. Mori is Reader's favorite character
75. Reader has Karma's (assasination classroom) personality
Non-anon
1. Flirty! Ace! Reader
2. Reader are busy and didn't play BSD that much
3. Jouno and Tetchou with Reader, who play viola
4. Reader have an OC they ship with BSD Character
5. Platonic Yanderes Atsushi and Kyuoka with Teen! Reader
6. DOA make Mitsuri! Reader a new uniform
7. Yandere! Chuuya with Requester's OC-based! Reader
8. FNAF Crossover (Reader survived The Missing Kids Incident)
9. Reader is similar to Kagura Mikazuchi
10. Reader's favorite character is PM Dazai and Reader are ashamed because of it
11. Reader have magic
12. Reader is a very good cosplayer
13. Classroom of the elite crossover (Reader escaped the White Room)
14. Hilichurls protect Reader (Imposter AU)
15. BSD Characters react to some theories (Atsushi, Chuuya, Rimbaud, Verlaine)
16. BSD Cast arrive on Reader's birthday
17. Reader are chill person with morbid sence of humor
18. Reader is a magical girl (Logicalist)
19. Diluc and Akutagawa (Imposter AU)
20. Reader have a character-based account
21. Reader is a dancer
22. Reader is an artist with uncurable disease
23. Reader have DID
24. Reader are happy to go to the beach in Genshin world
25. Ballerina! Reader
26. Male! Teen! Reader who is neglected by his parents, but have two big sisters
27. Reader are a mafioso's child
28. Nikolai vs Lyney
29. Atsushi vs Tighnari
30. Reader have smarts of Kevin from Home Alone
31. Guiding Light has powers
32. Reader in Liyue (Imposter AU)
33. Reader were executed, but returned back to life (imposter au)
34. Ranpo x Fem! Reader
35. Teen! Reader failed a test
36. Scarecrow! Reader (imposter au, lots of fandoms)
37. Reader are a BSD Character and were killed
38. Male! Reader are a voice actor
39. BSD Cast react to same voice actors
40. Child! Reader from this fic end up in Teyvat
41. Filipino! Teen! Reader singing Orange and Lemons and Eraserheads songs
42. Emo! Fem! Reader
43. SCP-999! Fem! Reader
44. BEAST! BSD and Protective! OG! BSD
Event
4. Verlaine
5. Soukoku
6. Karma
7. Fyodor, Dazai
8. Oda, Dazai
9. Mori, Natsume, Fukuzawa
10. Chuuya and Dazai
11. Flags
12. Akutagawa, Atsushi, Dazai
13. Fukuzawa, Mori, Natsume
14. OG! Soukoku and BEAST! Soukoku
15. BEAST! Dazai
16. BEAST! Shin Soukoku
17. BEAST! Soukoku
18. Nikolai
19. Port Mafia
20. Dazai, Fyodor
21. Goncharov, Shibusawa, Gogol (fem! Reader, Tsaritsa-focused)
22. Koyou
24. DOA
25. Frankenstein, Chuuya, Verlaine
26. Q
27. Verlaine
28. Dazai and BEAST! Dazai
29. Soukoku (Teen! Reader)
30. Verlaine, Rimbaud, Chuuya
31. Buraiha trio
32. Fyodor and Nikolai
33. BEAST Dazai, Yumeno, BEAST Akutagawa
34. Ayatsuji, Tsujimura, Ango
55 notes · View notes
promptful · 2 years
Note
Hurt no comfort 👀??
Hurt No Comfort Dialogue
yikers there's a lot of warnings. heed them. do not add. you are responsible for the media you consume.
WARNINGS: Forced imprisonment. Cheating. Amnesia. Implied murder. Death. Possible implied toxic relationship. Injuries. Breaking up. Cigarettes. Self-destructive tendencies. Alcoholism. Wowie. 
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1) “I trusted you.” 
2)“I’m sorry… who are you?” 
3) “Were we friends?” 
4)“Do you even love me?”
5) “What are we now?” 
6) “Damn you.” 
7) “No feelings involved.” 
8) “I never loved you, anyway.” 
9) “You’re nothing but a deceitful bastard!” 
10) “I don’t know you.” 
11) “Erase me from your memory.” 
12) “Understand that I don’t care to know you.” 
13) “Trust you? Hilarious. Tell another joke.” 
14) “Step away from them!” 
15) “I loved you.” 
16) “You broke my heart.” 
17) “Really? You’re cheating on me?” 
18) “You liar.” 
19) “Give one damn reason to not walk out that door!” 
20) “I’m broken. And I don’t intend on being fixed.” 
21) “Naïve little thing, aren’t you?” 
22) “I thought you loved me.” 
23) “If I have to pick me or you, I’m picking you.” 
24) “Take this and run.” 
25) “Forget about me. It’s for the best.” 
26) “They want us to separate. I’m sorry.” 
27) “We’re terrible together.” 
28) “I thought that I could learn to love you.” 
29) “Did our love mean anything?”
30) “I just want what’s best for you.” 
31) “Liar. Don’t even try.” 
32) “I know I won’t make it.” 
33) “Tonight is the last one.” 
34) “Pretend for one minute that we’re in love, and then kiss me. One last time.” 
35) “I’m keeping you safe.” 
36) “You’re hurting me.” 
37) “This is killing me.” 
38) “This is safe?” 
39) “Feelings make things complicated.” 
40) “They’re dead.” 
41) “I can’t find them.” 
42) “What did you do with them?” 
43) “You’re shaking.”
44) “I can’t breathe.” 
45) “This isn’t home anymore.” 
46) “I’m running away.” 
47) “I can’t take this.” 
48) “Don’t… don’t leave me.” 
49) “I can’t lose you too.” 
50) “Everyone is hurting me. Can’t you see?” 
51) “I’d burn the world for you.” 
52) “You never cared about me.” 
53) “Promise me this.” 
54) “I can’t stand how you’re fighting this alone.” 
55) “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
56) “Were you going to keep this a secret the whole time?” 
57) “I thought we didn’t keep secrets.” 
58) “I’m feeling a lot less like your spouse, and more of a convenient thing.” 
59) “Look at me, tell me that you love me.” 
60) “There’s only so much I can take.” 
61) “You’re leaving, again.” 
62) “I’m not who you think I am.” 
63) “You can’t fix me.” 
64) “I can’t pretend that things are okay anymore.” 
65)“Leave.”
66) “Don’t come back here again.” 
67) “I’m changing my locks.” 
68) “Give me my things, and then I’m gone.” 
69) “You’ve changed.” 
70) “I don’t like who you’ve become.” 
71) “Stop believing in them.” 
72) “Do you really think that I don’t know?” 
73) “This marriage is pointless.” 
74) “I want a divorce.” 
75) “I hate you.” 
76) “You’re nothing to me.” 
77) “I’m going to sleep on the couch.” 
78) “We need a break.” 
79) “Don’t come looking for me.” 
80) “You need to get yourself together, or there’s no more us.” 
81) “It takes two to make a marriage work, you know.” 
82) “I don’t want to talk to you.” 
83) “Leave me alone.” 
84) “Papers are on the table.” 
85) “Give me your ring.” 
86) “I just want to go home.” 
87) “You’re scaring me.” 
88) “Don’t go to bed angry.” 
89) “Are you hurt?” 
90) “Is that blood?” 
91) “What happened to you?” 
92) “Who hurt you?” 
93) “You’re limping.” 
94) “Sit down. Now.” 
95) “Why aren’t you sleeping anymore?” 
96) “Where do you go during the night?” 
97) “Do you think I don’t feel you slipping out of bed?” 
98) “Show me.” 
99) “I refuse to just sit back and watch you be hurt!” 
100) “You’re killing yourself little by little.” 
101) “Put down the bottle.” 
102) “Don’t light that cigarette.” 
103) “We’re breaking up.” 
104) “You hurt them. Why?” 
105) “They did nothing to you!” 
216 notes · View notes
alovesreading · 1 year
Text
Constant Repeat | Part 5
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 20.2k 
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N:  Currently not able to stay still because this is one of my favorite chapters and it's been one I have been excited to share ever since I finished writing it. So since imagine-that-100 and I are posting part 4 of Chicken Shop Date next week, I thought I would bring this chapter forward a week hehe, though this means you'll have to wait a week longer for the next one since I'll stick to posting it on the original date it was supposed to which is April 7th. But right now, I truly cannot wait to see your reactions to this one. I have a feeling you might yell at me lolll. Enjoy!!! xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |
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✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
(17/09/11 10:28) Congrats on the suck it and see video, compliments the song brilliantly.
(17/09/11 10:31) Thank you for that and for helping us with it x
(17/09/11 10:39) Nothing to thank, that's my literal job Al hahaha
(17/09/11 10:40) Hahaha that's true. Well then thanks for making it such a great time for us.
(17/09/11 10:44) My pleasure :) Send my love to everyone over there, I hope tour is going smoothly x
(17/09/11 10:44) Will do x And it is! Kinda wish you were here to see the madness x
(17/09/11 10:45) We better hope America treats you just as well next time you come, I'll definitely be there :) x
•••
(27/10/11 13:16) I'm so glad Helders had the idea of going to Vegas and filming it.
(27/10/11 13:18) It was quite a lovely time, congrats on the music video Al!
(27/10/11 13:18) Even though most of it is just Bre and Matt, I'm happy to see that day after all this time x
(27/10/11 13:20) C'mon Turner, it's only been a couple months x
(27/10/11 13:21) Fair enough but, don't tell this to anyone, I miss America quite a bit.
(27/10/11 13:27) Any particular reasons?
(27/10/11 13:29) A couple come to mind...
(27/10/11 13:33) Any with first and last names?
(27/10/11 13:33) Are you trying to trick me into saying something?
(27/10/11 13:34) Maybe...
(27/10/11 13:48) I do miss you Ellie xx
(27/10/11 13:49) Well, that's good to hear xx
(27/10/11 13:49) I miss you following me around with your camera on my face x
(27/10/11 13:50) Anyone would think I'm a crazy pap from that sentence alone.
(27/10/11 13:50) Aren't you? x
(27/10/11 13:52) Alright Turner, I'm not saying i miss you too then.
(27/10/11 13:56) I joke, I joke x
(27/10/11 13:57) Hahaha I know, I do miss you xx
(27/10/11 14:02) Well, that's good to hear xx
•••
(05/11/11 02:22) Helders got a new film camera!
(05/11/11 02:22) No way?! Show me!!!
(05/11/11 02:24) *picture of Matt holding a Leica M6 to his face squinting his left eye*
(05/11/11 02:25) I'm so jealous! A Leica M6?! She's stunning!!!
(05/11/11 02:26) He's also been pestering me for your phone number, he might've stolen it from my contact book already.
(05/11/11 02:28) He did and texted me last night. Remind me again why you don't have a password? He's going to be the death of me.
(05/11/11 02:29) You said you missed the lads the other day, and I delivered the message. You didn't expect it to be that easy to escape him, did you?
(05/11/11 02:30) This is what I get for being a caring friend.
(05/11/11 02:31) It has its cons x
(05/11/11 02:46) It wasn't only Helders breaking into your phone, by the way.
(05/11/11 02:49) What do you mean?
(05/11/11 02:49) Nick and Jamie texted me earlier too hahaha
(05/11/11 02:49) Sorry? x
(05/11/11 02:50) Don't! I suppose you're gonna have a little rest from me now that I have more people to annoy x
(05/11/11 02:51) You're never annoying Ellie x
(05/11/11 02:51) I find that hard to believe x
(05/11/11 02:53) You really aren't x I actually think if you stop sending me your weekly film reviews and song recommendations I might go in a weird type of withdrawal xx
(05/11/11 02:53) I'll keep them coming for you then ;)
(05/11/11 02:54) I really hope you do xx
•••
(24/12/11 16:12) Just double checked and since it's already the 25th where you are, Merry Christmas Alex!!!
(24/12/11 16:17) Thank you Ellie, merry christmas to you too xx
(24/12/11 16:18) I hope Sinatra is playing on repeat all day today x
(24/12/11 16:21) You know he is. It's snowing later today as well, will send you pictures xx
(24/12/11 16:23) You're gonna make me miss home, I haven't had a white christmas in a while now :((
(24/12/11 16:24) We should do a video call then, make some hot chocolate and pretend you're here x
(24/12/11 16:25) Sounds lovely to me x See you later then, Al :)
(24/12/11 16:26) See ya Ellie xx
•••
(31/12/11 15:09) It feels weird having Bre here but not you, the group feels incomplete xx
(31/12/11 15:09) So sorry I said no, I had already planned on spending this one in Tennessee. And I would rather eat a cup of dirt than have you pay for my whole holiday in the uk!
(31/12/11 15:10) You don't have to be sorry, I know you missed your family x And you stubborn woman! Will you ever let me pay for anything for you without having to physically distract you when it comes to it?
(31/12/11 15:12) Never ;))) But you'll be pleased to know I have started saving up for my own trip, just give me some months and I'll be on your side of the pond x
(31/12/11 15:13) Can't wait to see how poorly you do in the cold once again, I'll have my coats ready for you to steal xx
(31/12/11 15:15) You're mean!
(31/12/11 15:16) I'm actually very kind, i'll be letting you take them all xx
(31/12/11 15:17) I think whatever you're having is getting to you already, go enjoy the party for me Turner! (I'm there in spirit x).
(31/12/11 15:17) I'm the most sober in here right now. Nick's pissed already and Matt is following very closely behind. (I can weirdly feel your presence in the room xx).
(31/12/11 15:18) Oh I would pay to see that!!
(31/12/11 15:18) Well lucky for you I won't charge you for the following videos x *video of Nick and Matt messily racing to chug down a pint of beer, video of Nick and Matt singing karaoke*
(31/12/11 15:19) You've just made my entire year with that HAHAHA
(31/12/11 15:22) Glad to hear it x
(31/12/11 16:00) Happy New Year from my side of the pond, Ellie xxxx
(31/12/11 16:03) Happy New Year Al xxxx Feels weird saying that at four in the afternoon haha
(31/12/11 16:04) Haha, time zones are mental, aren't they? Let me know when it's 2012 for you too xx
(01/01/2012 00:00) Happy New Year!!!! We just caught up to you hahah xx
(01/01/2012 00:00) Thank you, darling x How's it going with your family? xx
(01/01/2012 00:01) Absolutely insane but I had missed the madness that it was to spend the holidays with them :') Thinking about how crazy it would be if y'all were here to celebrate with us xx
(01/01/2012 00:04) Let's hope for 2013 xx
(01/01/2012 00:05) Yeah let's hope for that xx What about you? Starting the year with a hangover?
(01/01/2012 00:09) Thankfully no, but with a headache from inspiration and too much to write x
(01/01/2012 00:10) Don't stress yourself too much, it's always a perfect record x
(01/01/2012 00:11) Now you're just being nice x
(01/01/2012 00:12) Stop it, you know how good you are! I also have a feeling this one is gonna make history all around the world xx
(01/01/2012 00:15) We shall see about that xx
•••
(05/01/2012 12:21) I love how you regretted flipping the camera off and tried to cover it up with a peace sign.
(05/01/2012 12:34) I'm confused...
(05/01/2012 12:35) Black treacle just came out! Fill me in on Bre and Matt's fight after it.
(05/01/2012 12:36) You're still after Bre, I see x
(05/01/2012 12:38) Well if Matt fucks up then I need to be a good friend, don't I? x
(05/01/2012 12:39) Oh you think you're slick x
(05/01/2012 12:39) I'm smoother than you, that's for sure x
(05/01/2012 12:39) Hey what's that meant to mean?!
(05/01/2012 12:40) Hahaha nothing Turner, it means nothing.
(05/01/2012 12:41) How about I give you something? xx
(05/01/2012 12:41) And what would that be? xx
(05/01/2012 12:42) Remember how I promised you another music video? xx
Her jaw dropped at the same time her phone hit the kitchen counter, and in a delayed reaction she went to check if she'd cracked it but was relieved to see it intact. What the fuck?! was all that she could hear inside her brain, chanting to herself as she frantically opened her contact book to call Alex but, of course, the singer beat her to it. The room echoed with the ringing of his incoming call and she was quick to answer.
A loud "Are you serious?!" came out of her mouth like an instinct, not even giving him time to say hello.
His breathy laugh came through the speaker, "Do you think I'd be joking about that?"
She was screaming on the inside, her tummy fluttering as she thought about how the countdown to see him again would start right at that moment. "I don't– I just– When? Do Aaron and Ben know?"
He was lying on his settee, with his phone pressed to his ear and his ceiling was witnessing one of the brightest smiles he'd ever wore in his life. "I reckon our manager is getting in contact with them next monday, and possibly for the beginning of February. You know, we're doing a brief US west coast tour before we go back into the shadows to record the next one."
"Oh my god, really?! That's so soon!" Ella hadn't felt this much excitement since she got accepted in her first job in LA, everything felt light suddenly and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face.
She's adorable, he thought with his cheeks aching. He could feel her happiness through the phone and she had this way of calming him down by just talking to him, that's why they had called each other so many times throughout the past months they hadn't seen each other.
"It is! And you're coming with..." Alex bit his lip trying especially hard to catch her reaction and when he got a tiny gasp, he freed his lip from his teeth and smirked, "Well, at least I was hoping you will– We, we were hoping you will." He cleared his throat, hoping the correction wasn't too noticeable.
Of course she noticed, her heart skipped a beat at that and her cheeks had warmed. Keep it cool, keep it cool, she reminded herself. "I would need to ask Ben and Aaron but I'd love to." She was giddy but then she realized what touring meant and her questions just came out in full force, "Wait... How many days would it be? Are we staying in hotels or just on the bus? We're not flying anywhere, are we? Who can I speak with from your team to pay for it?"
His chuckle was out before he could think of containing it, "It would just be a week of tour. No flying anywhere, no—we're moving on the tour bus like we did for Vegas. And as for the expenses you really don't have to worry, everything is paid for."
"But–"
He tutted, "No, Ella. I'll just let you pay for whatever you want to buy wherever we go but you're not paying for anything else if it's already covered."
She sighed feeling defeated but her excitement bubbled up again when she remembered what she had just accepted, "Oh I'm so excited!"
Alex decided to tease her and test the waters, "That eager to see me?"
She laughed at his advances, "Nope, just excited for the gigs and the free alcohol."
He laughed with her, "Glad to see where your loyalty lies."
Ella hummed and nodded, instantly feeling dumb when she saw her reaction reflected on the microwave realizing Alex was not seeing it. "And I'm glad you're understanding of my priorities."
"Talking about priorities, how come you're not at work? What have you been up to?" The thought of her casually picking up the phone at this time, when she'd normally pick up to whisper that she was at the office and that she'd have to keep whispering throughout the call, had been swirling around the back of his head and he was curious to know what had happened to change the situation.
She sighed, turning to rest her hips on the side of her kitchen counter and watching her guest bedroom door behind which her sister had been getting ready for almost twenty minutes. "Not much, just took the day off to pick my sister up from the airport."
He smiled at the news, thinking back to the many times Ella had mentioned her sister, the memories she shared with her and how many 'i miss her's he had heard after each anecdote. "Is she visiting?"
Her smile could be felt through the phone from the tone of her voice, and Alex couldn't help but count how many days it had been since he had witnessed that sight. "Yeah, she's staying for the week so I'm gonna show her every corner I love in LA."
A deep hum came from his side, "So she's getting a VIP Ella – Los Angeles tour..."
She let out a little chuckle, "Exactly that."
"Sort of jealous she gets one and I haven't gotten one yet."
With a smirk on her face Ella was quick to reply, "Well Mr. Rockstar, you haven't been here in a while and every time we've seen each other has been for filming."
He let out a breathy laugh that made her insides coat with warmth, "Fair enough. I'll be sure to get enough time in February to get a tour."
Her stomach flipped hearing him say he'd make time for her, even if it was just a joke she couldn't help the way it made her giddy and her cheeks light up. "Alright then...I'll give you a good discount, don't worry."
"You'll probably get a date before we even know of one, so I hope you have flexibility when it comes to changing reservation dates for those tours of yours." Alex kept the banter going, loving how most of the time her replies would surprise him and keep him thinking if she had really just said that.
"Of course I do! Mates rates, didn't you say it was?" She was about to continue when her guest bedroom door opened to reveal her sister all ready and putting her earrings on. "Speak of the devil... my lovely sister just finished getting ready so I'm gonna have to leave you Al, sorry." She sighed, sad that she had to cut the conversation short once again despite not being at work.
"Don't apologize Ellie, s'alright." His voice was soft and she hoped she could continue to listen to it for as long as life would allow her. "Hope you enjoy yourselves, send my regards to your sister."
She melted inside, her rational side yelling at her emotional counterpart that it was a simple thing to say and not something to swoon over but she was blind. Maybe that was his effect, pure blindness to everything else and only being able to see him. "Thanks Al, will tell her you said hi. Hope to hear from you soon."
"You definitely will," he promised, "Goodnight Ella."
Ella's eyes were on the ten in the morning sun coming through her windows and smiled to herself, "Goodnight Alex."
The room was filled with silence as she pressed the red button to end the call. A bright grin was set on her face with no intention to disappear, her cheeks were slightly pink but it was the tiny squeal that she accidentally let out that caused her older sister, Lily, to speak up.
"So you do have a crush!" Lily's index finger was pointing accusingly at Ella.
She turned her head so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash, "What?" She asked too defensive to make the situation seem casual.
Lily smirked at her, reading her face easily, "I was right, you do like him."
"Oh shut up, I do not." Ella's voice sounded annoyed but her sister knew that tone of hers, it was pure denial.
The older sister just sighed and rolled her eyes, "When are you ever gonna stop being so stubborn?"
"The day I die." Ella replied quickly and proceeded to grab her car keys from the counter and put her phone in the pocket of her jeans. "Let's go."
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Wednesday, the 8th of February had been the day Ben and Aaron had been informed the lads would touch down on American soil again and the day had rolled around fairly quickly.
It felt as if the countdown to the day of the band's arrival had been fast forwarded and for that she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of having to wake up early but she had woken up to a picture of the lads at the airport and several texts from all of them, and it made her grin like a mad woman as she got ready.
(08/02/2012 06:12) *picture of Matt flipping the camera off at the baggage claim area* Fair to say he's excited to see you.
(08/02/2012 06:26) Tell him I'm just as enthusiastic to see him, Cookie.
•••
(08/02/2012 06:20) My darling Ella, hope you're up and ready to see us. Alex said something about getting a tour from you...
(08/02/2012 06:27) Definitely up, and slowly getting ready. If there's one thing you should know, is that I need a good cup of coffee to properly function this early in the morning. And yes, I'm driving y'all and giving you a tour around LA.
(08/02/2012 06:28) Noted, gonna get you loads of coffee for the tour. Can't wait to see how poorly you drive xx
(08/02/2012 06:28) Alright O'Malley, rude.
•••
(08/02/2012 06:34) I bet you're celebrating I'm back in your land already.
(08/02/2012 06:35) You have the biggest head, has anyone told you that?
(08/02/2012 06:35) Been told something similar, if you know what I mean ;)
(08/02/2012 06:35) You're actually disgusting, Helders.
(08/02/2012 06:36) Yeah, yeah, you love me.
(08/02/2012 06:36) You certainly wish.
(08/02/2012 06:37) You're just in denial. We're about an hour away from the hotel by the way, you better be on your way missy x
(08/02/2012 06:38) I'm about to leave. Dreading seeing you though x
(08/02/2012 06:39) You keep telling yourself that x
•••
(08/02/2012 06:40) Can't wait to see you! We're an hour away xx
(08/02/2012 06:41) Give your friends a smack in the back of their heads for me please, haven't even seen you yet and I'm getting bullied already x
(08/02/2012 06:42) Will do. I'm guessing Helders gets double? x
(08/02/2012 06:43) Atta boy, you're so smart x I'm on my way, see you soon Al! x
To say she was giddy on the drive to their hotel was an understatement. Ella had been bouncing on her seat, not even minding having to sit in the traffic for longer than she would've liked to, singing her favorite songs a little bit louder than usual, with a bright grin permanently on her face throughout the whole drive.
She found a spot in the parking lot of the hotel quite easily and with a skip in her step, she made her way through the big window doors and into the lobby. The guys were all distracted on their phones, so many people were walking around the hotel lobby that the echo of her steps was lost in between the pattern.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Arctic Monkeys." Ella's voice was playful, a smirk on her face as she saw them turn their heads in her direction.
The four of them pocketed their phones and yelled her name, a little bit too loud for the hotel staff's liking. Ella was enveloped in a group hug and she swore she could cry when it hit her then just how much she'd missed them the past six months.
"Missed you guys." She said once the group hug was done and she went around giving them all hugs.
Alex was the last one, kissing the top of her head before he let go, "Missed you too."
She was melting, having missed the singer more than she would ever admit but the moment was cut short when Matt said, "Couldn't live without us huh?" A big smirk on his face, his eyes as playful as ever.
"Matthew, I will leave you here." She looked at the drummer with a serious expression, that was broken when she saw his film camera hanging from his neck.
Matt threw his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. But you couldn't though." He added the last bit quickly and quietly.
She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "If that helps you sleep at night."
After asking them if they were ready to go, and all of them nodding, she guided them to her car. It was big enough for all of them to fit comfortably so it didn't take them much time to get inside the vehicle and start driving. Alex was sitting on the passenger seat, while the rest took the backseats.
The little mirrorball was hanging from her rearview mirror with a tiny cowboy hat on top and it caught their attention. They all pointed at it with giggles whilst Alex could only think about how long it had been since the first time he saw it and how that day had been. Soon enough she turned on the car and started driving out of the parking lot.
Nick, who was in the middle, rested his arms on the front seats and looked around them all before saying, "Anyone want to share their last words before we get on the motorway?"
They all laughed hard, Ella looked through the rearview mirror at them and shook her head. She took her right hand and swatted at Nick's leg, leaving the steering wheel alone for a second which made Matt dramatically yell.
"Jesus Christ, I hate y'all." She sighed, placing her hand back where it was and focusing back on the road.
Jamie, who was sitting behind her, patted her arm. "Except you don't."
She opted to put her music on, letting the speakers drown the car with Ozzy Osbourne's voice. No one complained, which she was thankful for, they were just chatting over the music from time to time until they made it to Venice beach.
She took them walking through the Venice canals, the little suburb which was an American version of the Italian city. She had found it once while looking for a parking place when she was going to the beach with her friends, loving how quiet the place was and how pretty the scenery was. She had gone back multiple times to take pictures there, some of her favorite pictures were from the canals under the colors casted by the rising sun.
They had used the neighborhood as a backdrop to them walking around and catching up, them telling her tour anecdotes and how Nick's wedding plans were going, her telling them about the things they had been filming at Focus Creeps—which were now steering away from adverts and onto short films and artists trying to work with them after the Arctic Monkeys videos had been posted—and the shoots she'd been doing with Breana, which she promised Matt to show.
It was early, so the streets were rather empty, and it was February so it wasn't unbearably hot either.
Ella had her camera with her, constantly stopping to take pictures and it sent Alex back to Vegas. The way she would shiver despite having her jean jacket on sent him back to the day they had met. This time though, she would share her frames and exchange tips with Matt—he had her take pictures of certain places, she was helping him get the perfect shot—and Alex was melting inside. She was beyond adorable when her face lit up while sharing her passions.
After they gave the neighborhood a full walk-around, they went back to the car and she drove them over to the Old Los Angeles Zoo. The drive was long, over an hour, which was filled with her music and lots of chatter. She turned the volume down, the Talking Heads song fading to the background, so that she could give them a small preface of where it was that they were going.
"Okay so before you say anything about the LA Zoo signs, I'm actually taking you to the old abandoned one. It's very apocalyptic looking, but it has character."
Soon enough they were parking on the side of the road, and they could see an old rusty sign that read 'Picnic Area'. She guided them into the place, agile while scurrying and crouching down and through the stone ruins.
They were walking around and seeing every one of the forgotten cages, the lads getting inside of them and getting their pictures taken by Ella while they made weird faces or they tried to act like the animals they'd guess had lived in those cages.
Matt had trapped Ella into one of the cages, making her curse him through the metal bars as the band waved at her and faked leaving her behind. Alex taking a quick picture of her with his phone, she flipped him off and he smiled even harder.
Ella had gotten her payback when they were in a particularly claustrophobic cage that had a very steep staircase. Matt had been resting his palms against the graffitied walls at the top, as he slowly leaned his body forward to look down but he screeched when Ella had purposely nudged his hip and made his balance waver.
"You little–" The drummer had mumbled sternly before setting off to chase behind her, not hard to know where she went since she had run away giggling and they could still hear her.
Another thirty minutes of them messing about went by, before they were back in her car. She sighed as she settled in the driver's seat. Everyone shuffled into their seats but before she could start the engine, she had to make her mind up about where to take them next.
Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel as she looked through the rearview mirror at them. "Alright, so do you wanna go to the Hollywood sign or am I good to take you to the next place?"
They had already gone to the iconic landmark multiple times before so it wasn't hard for them to shrug and agree on moving onto the next place, which ended up being Los Feliz and they drove through the Shakespeare bridge on their way there, which she had pointed out enthusiastically.
Ella loved this part of the city of Los Angeles, she would visit it at least once a week to have some food at La Pergoletta and then go to the Los Feliz Theater which was just a couple blocks away. And that's exactly what they did. They sat at the Italian restaurant to have some early lunch—Ella giving them all recommendations of what they should get and fighting them to pay for the meal when the check arrived—, and then they went over to walk by the theater and the rest of Los Feliz Boulevard.
With their stomachs full and yet another roll of film gone, they went back to the car. Jamie walked ahead of the group as he claimed to remember exactly where they had parked, Nick and Matt talking as they followed closely behind, Alex and Ella on the very back of the group smoking.
"Are you excited to go on tour with us?" Alex inquired after he took a drag of his cigarette.
A puff of smoke left her lips, "I certainly am, though I can feel my back hurting already."
"Bunk beds are lovely, aren't they?" He looked at her with a playful smirk that made her chuckle.
"I bet you love going to the chiropractor." She sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking some of the ashes to the floor.
"I've never been to one actually." the singer admitted after thinking for a second, trying to recount any visit to a chiropractor.
"Are you serious?" Ella asked with a gasp, and when he shook his head, she shrugged. "Well you should, it's the weirdest relief."
Alex thought about it but then frowned, "Doesn't the cracking noise freak you out?"
"Kind of? The first time he cracked my neck I fully thought I had died and was seeing the other side." She recalled, shuddering at the memory and the wind that had hit her.
He snorted, "That's exactly why I'll stick to massages, thanks very much."
"Are you gonna share your masseuse's number then?" She jokingly replied, but actually thinking of ways to alleviate her upcoming backache during the tour in the back of her mind.
Alex looked straight ahead towards his friends and pointed to the one in the front. "That would be Jamie actually, he knows his shit when it comes to a good back massage."
She hummed, looking at the man walking confidently ahead of the group. "Good to know." A few seconds of silence passed as they kept smoking and she thought of taking a picture of them, like that, in a mundane LA setting so she turned to the singer. "Alright Alex, c'mon go walk with them I wanna take a picture of y'all."
He nodded, smoking the last of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement and stepping on it. "Tired of me, are you? The tour hasn't even started yet." He teased with a raised eyebrow.
She rolled her eyes, smiling at his behavior. "Shut up, idiot."
He smirked back, before starting to walk faster ahead of her. "How do you want me then?"
"Just keep walking and turn around when I call you." Ella instructed with a point of her finger.
Alex nodded and complied, walking right behind Nick and Matt who nodded at him in acknowledgement but kept talking between themselves. He was waiting for her voice to call out to him, watching his feet move, the sound of every step he took hitting his ears as the city noise became more background noise than anything.
When he heard a soft "Al" being called, he turned around with a soft smile—a smile that she captured, with the perfect focus and he looked stunning so the thought just escaped her.
"Stunning." Her voice was soft as she rolled the film with the lever, sticking it back into its place right after. Turning the device off since she wasn't taking any more pictures, she let it hit her upper stomach and when she looked up, she was met with his gaze.
"Is that so?" Alex nudged her hip with his and Ella blushed.
"Yes but don't let it get to your head," her cheeks stayed warm as she tried to play it cool, "Or else I'll have to take it upon myself to keep you humble."
He hummed as he pursed his lips trying not to grin, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that."
"You're right, I truly would." She nudged him this time and he tripped on his feet making her laugh out loud, the lads turned around to see him stumble and joined in her laughter. "Told you I would." She added smugly.
Alex looked at her mesmerized, Ella was just so hypnotizing to him. With everything she did, what she said and how she looked, he couldn't help but stare. She flushed under his gaze and was saved by the bell when Jamie indeed found her car and she had to speed her walk to unlock it for them.
Once inside, she ignited the engine and clapped her hands, "The next place I'm taking you is probably one of my favorite places in the whole world, I spend hours here every time I go and it's beautiful so..." she ranted before turning her music on, Stevie Nicks' voice now drowning the vehicle as they moved through the streets and back onto the highway.
It took them less than thirty minutes to get to the place, which had felt way faster after Matt decided to tease her about being born in the wrong generation as her playlist was filled with 70s and early 80s songs rather than more modern music; she hadn't gotten a chance to even fight their argument because when Alex started skipping through the songs, their point was backed. Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Talking Heads, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Bowie, Dolly Parton, Fleetwood Mac. Ella blushed as she slapped Alex's hand away from her phone, Bowie's voice lost in the background as everyone laughed.
When they stepped through the threshold of the bookstore, Ella's breath was taken from her by the views, as if she didn't frequent the place and she wasn't acquainted with the people who worked there.
Even Matt, who couldn't be arsed to be in a bookstore, was taken aback by the way the place looked. The way the books were arranged and the eccentric decor of each room was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was like a Disneyland themed room, but it was just a bookstore.
"Just wait until you see the book tunnel." Ella's voice was giddy, her smile growing as she stepped further inside, with them following closely behind.
And soon enough, while she gave them a tour of the place—saying "Hi!" to people working there who greeted her back and knew her name—, they were met with a room which had a tunnel against a wall, entirely made with books. Further ahead a wall with what had been arranged to look like flying books, that reminded them of Harry Potter.
After agreeing to spend half an hour there, since they had to be at the hotel in about two hours and she had to pick her stuff up and Breana to meet them back again, they separated to look through the endless selection of books the store offered.
Of course they had left Alex and Ella by themselves, but she was too entranced by the worn out spines on the shelves to see Matt winking at his best mate before leaving with Jamie and Nick.
"You know, I found an annotated original copy of Pride and Prejudice here the first time I came. It was titled 'Elizabeth Bennet' rather than Pride and Prejudice and I found out that that was the title of some copies when they first got here in 1832. Have been coming here since then." Her smile was soft at the memory, her eyes glimmering under the dull yellow lights.
He hummed, mirroring her gentle grin, "That must be worth a fortune."
"Oh definitely, but that book is not leaving me ever. If I don't get buried with it, then I will pass it down to my kids." She laughed at herself by the end, shaking her head at her thoughts and started walking to turn into another aisle.
He giggled with her, eyes wondering from her figure to the books. Some old, some new but all equally hypnotizing to her as she picked them out and inspected them.
"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."
"They better," Ella said absentmindedly as she put the book back in its place, "Or else I will haunt them."
Alex let out a breathy laugh as he reached for a book on the top shelf that had caught his eye. "You'd be the worst ghost, if they even exist."
She clicked her tongue, turning to look at him, book left forgotten in his hands as he met her gaze. "C'mon Turner, you need to have some faith or else I won't be able to haunt Helders for the rest of his life."
His smirk grew playful, "You'll make him miserable?"
She winked, "You know it."
Time flew by like it always did, purposely forcing the needles on the clock to spin faster when it knew Alex was with her, wind blowing the sand from the hourglass so they ran out of minutes when they were together. And as if they had been the embodiment of an alarm clock, the other three members of the group appeared, precisely on the dot of the time they had agreed on.
Back in the car, she sighed as she saw them all take in their assigned seats. "So how was it class? Did you like your road trip?"
Nick shrugged in the middle, his lips pressed to avoid smiling. "Eh. Could've been better."
And before Ella could retaliate, Matt added, "I'm pretty sure the driver tried to kill us a fair few times." to which Alex and Jamie agreed with "'Yeah, yeah."
She just rolled her eyes through the rear view mirror, and took advantage of having the singer next to her so she could smack the back of his head. "I can't stand any of you." She muttered as the engine hummed alive, making them all erupt in laughter at the way Alex had jumped in his seat.
The drive back to their hotel had grown amusing when 'Still Take You Home' came on, and she turned the volume up after saying with a massive smirk "See? How's that for modern music boys?"
She started singing along, copying Alex's accent and exaggerating it to an obnoxious extent but they were loving it. She made a full show, playing an imaginary guitar, getting cheered on by the lads and when the song was over she did a little curtsy with her eyes on the road.
Jamie patted Alex's shoulder, making him turn around and see a smirk on his friend's face. "Sorry Al, you're being replaced."
The singer only sighed, keeping up with the charade, "Just like that, huh?"
"Sorry mate." added Matt, a faux-comforting grasp of his shoulder as he apologized.
Ella grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Sorry Al, but it's clear who's better if the decision was that easy." A frown on her face as she acted on putting a face that exuded fake pity.
He only shook his head, grabbing the phone. Unlocking it easily with a swipe on the screen and he searched through her music. "But do you know..." He trailed off as he pressed on the track. The quick drum pattern of 'Pretty Visitors' coming through the speakers and her pout faltered.
"Won't even try because I can barely understand what you say in it." Her cheeks tinted pink as the other three hollered in the back of the car.
"Looks like you're back mate." said Nick, backtracking their previous statement.
Alex smirked at Ella, who caught the sight of him for a quick second before turning back around to look at the road. "That's what I thought."
In an hour, she had dropped them off at the hotel so they could get ready before the tour bus got there later and picked them all up. She rushed home to pick up her suitcase—which she had forced herself to keep light and small—and then went over Breana's to get her.
The sun was setting as they talked, laughed and sang, driving down the highway and on their way back to the hotel. The closer the hotel's exit got, the more nervous she felt. Bre noticed, but she kept making jokes that made her loosen up. After all, nothing bad would happen; the worst could be that however she felt about Alex got nowhere and she'd stay silently crushing over a man out of her reach. And she somehow was okay with that, as long as she still could have him as a friend.
It was muscle memory that made her find a parking spot and turn off the engine of her car at the hotel. With a blink, she realized just how dangerous that had been, because she couldn't recall those last five minutes of the drive. The thought of him was dangerous.
The tiny wheels on their suitcases scratched down the pavement as they met the band at the hotel's main entrance. She had to quickly reach for Bre's suitcase when she let go of it to run into Matt's arms, catching it right before it hit the ground.
Jamie sighed, "Thanks Bre, we missed you too." Sarcasm so clear in his words, Matt chuckled and only held his girlfriend tighter.
Eventually, the lovebirds let go of each other and Breana could properly greet everyone. They all lit cigarettes up as they waited for the bus, which according to the text Alex had gotten, would be there in about fifteen minutes.
It was all laughter and chatter, a taste of what the upcoming week was going to be like, and Ella found it refreshing. Yes she loved her job, but there was something about driving down the west coast along with her friends, who happened to be musicians, enjoying their art and whatever the cities had to offer.
She wished she could go on tour more often already but since she knew this was gonna be the first and last time she'd get to go on one, she'd make the best out of the experience and enjoy every second of it.
A few minutes earlier than anticipated, the bus arrived. Tall black coach with dark windows that made her wonder if you could even look through them at all. She found that she could, after they all left their luggage where they had been instructed to place it and they walked up the steps and into the vehicle.
"Holy shit," Ella could barely keep her jaw from falling at the size of it, "It's bigger than the last one."
Matt walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and his other arm hugged Breana tighter to his side. "Had to upgrade since we're taking on two very special guests."
"Awh, I knew I was special to you." Ella cooed playfully before jabbing the drummer in his ribs.
He flinched and tried to get her back but she moved faster, "Don't go pushing your luck now, Ellie."
She giggled before she was swept away by Breana, who grabbed her hand and took her to the next few steps that led into the rest of the bus. There were far too many bunks for just the six of them but they looked bigger and more comfortable than the ones in the tour bus they had taken to Las Vegas so she wouldn't go complaining about anything. She was sure she could go without a hotel throughout the week, seeing that they had a perfectly sized bathroom inside as well, with a small shower and all.
Nick walked into the hallway, standing by the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus. "Yous can choose your beds first."
Bre turned to her with a playful smirk, shrugging her shoulders mischievously. "Chivalry is not dead I see..." the model trailed off, getting a hold of Ella's hand again to bring her back down the hallway.
And after leaving their coats on top of the beds they had chosen, which were facing each other, they went back down to the lounge area. The driver was at the bottom of the stairs telling them they'd be setting off in five minutes and made sure there was nothing else they were missing.
Five minutes after the confirmation that they were good to go, the bus started moving. They felt the change of rhythm as they got off onto the highway whilst they chatted, scattered around the settees in the lounge area.
"So Ella, are you ready for the groupie lifestyle?" Matt's voice was teasing, a slight pitch higher as the anticipation of her reaction bubbled inside of him. Breana giggled against her boyfriend's side which she was pressed against.
As per usual, Ella was starting to blush. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink as her lips pursed, "Groupie? That's a big commitment."
"Well I know a few people that would love to come to an agreement with you." The drummer let his eyes wander to his best friend who was about to break his jaw with how hard he was clenching it.
Ella knew exactly who Matt was staring at so her cheeks turned a very obvious red now, even the tips of her ears matching the color on her face.
She sighed, letting her head drop just a little bit for a few seconds before looking to her left and staring at the other three musicians. "How long is this tour again?"
Matt snorted, Breana laughing just as hard as Nick was. "Eight days." Jamie ended up replying, holding back laughter.
Her eyes were still on the rest of the band and she gave them a pitiful shake of her head, "Can't believe you can stand months of this one on the road. I'd pull all of my hair out."
Alex agreed with her then, "I'm fairly close to that point every tour."
"Sure mate, I'd pay to see you bald." Dared the drummer to which he only received an eye roll and a lovely middle finger from the singer.
Ella could only think how unforgettable those eight days were going to be.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Ella had been right.
She had it all imprinted in her mind.
Every kiss to her cheek followed by a 'good morning', an arm snaking around her waist giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and leaving her breathless.
Every time an arm came around her shoulders and rubbed her arm up and down when she was shivering because of the strong winds outside the venues as the sky turned from lilac and orange to a velvety blue.
Every whiskey glass turned into a slurred 'you look stunning, darling', that somehow always led to shared cigarettes outside bars and his giggles in her ear as he leaned into her every time she'd make him laugh.
Every picture she had taken of their views and their surroundings, that turned into a plea to take a picture of her with whatever it was in her previous shot as a background.
Every late night chat they had as they were always the last ones to go to bed. It be on the tour bus' lounge or a hotel bar, the walls of these places being confidants to everything they'd shared: stories from their childhoods, a movie they never really got over, a hobby they always wanted to get into but never could, their already gone dreams that would forever stay as that, the intricacies of existence they'd come to terms with never really understanding.
She was sure she had never blushed more in her life compared to how she had been in the past five days. Her cheeks were sore from grinning after everything Alex did, whatever little things he'd say to her.
They had grown closer, always next to each other. Their behavior had earned them plenty of eye rolls from the rest of the band, but they didn't truly care anymore.
That Tuesday she had woken up with a groan. They had been in Vegas the day before and, whilst their stay had been shorter and tamer than the last time they had been in the city, they still had had plenty to drink. A headache was all she felt, softer than she would've expected and she found a bit of hope in the fact that she could nurse it with a couple of painkillers.
Her phone screen flashed in front of her, a notification from the weather app telling her it would be a sunny but windy day in San Diego. Eyes going up to the time, nine in the morning and she took a deep breath but it got stuck in her throat when she realized the date. Fucking Valentine's Day.
Ella had grown to have good memories of the holiday, but they had all been tarnished by people's decisions and time. She didn't care much for it anymore, or she forced herself not to. Now all she could think was how she would hate the decision of having Breana sleep just across from her, she'd have to sleep blasting music in order not to hear anything. It had already worked for her the days before, so she would hold on tight to her earphones and her playlists to drown out whatever the lovebirds would get up to that night.
She shivered just thinking about it.
Slowly pushing the curtain aside, Ella slid out of the bunk. Landing with a thud on the floor, before she walked out to the lounge to make herself a cup of coffee on the fancy Keurig the tour bus had.
Nick had kept his promise of asking for loads of it. It had been an exaggerated amount but it was of a really really nice kind so she wouldn't complain.
Surprisingly everyone rose up not long after her, she thought it was probably the coffee's smell that had guided them out of bed and into the lounge. First came Jamie, who stood beside her, leaning against the makeshift kitchen counter as they sipped on their coffees.
Nick and Breana followed, the girl claiming Matt was still asleep but they'd be going out when he woke up, which meant the other four of the group were gonna be left alone without the lovers.
She had been teasing Breana along with Nick and Jamie—laughing as they managed to make the model blush and hide behind her hands—when Alex came out looking freshly changed, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket, dark jeans and his usual chelsea boots. Gold chain around his neck and she had to pinch herself to stop her mind going places.
He took her breath away and it was shown in the way her exhale pushed the steam of her second coffee cup forwards.
"Morning everyone." The singer greeted in a low voice, morning's effect still over it as it sounded husky and slightly raspy.
They all said morning back, Ella turning around to pour him a mug of coffee. A spoonful and a half of sugar, the way she now knew he liked his coffee.
When she held it up for him to take he got closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering "Thank you, Ellie."
He took a long sip of the beverage before he cleared his throat, "You should get ready, we're going out in a little bit."
She frowned, cup slowly leaving her lips. "But–" she turned to Jamie then, who was still standing beside her, "Didn't we not have plans?"
Jamie smirked, looking from Ella to Alex, "We didn't."
"Just us, you deserve a break from these two idiots." He tried to downplay it, not wanting to say he was taking her on a date but he was.
Her hand was still frozen, the cup of coffee midair as she slowly broke out of her shocked state. "Alright..." she trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.
Nick got up, taking the mug from her hand. "Go on, I'll wash this for you."
Breathlessly she replied, "Thank you," before she, in panic, looked at Breana who had the biggest grin on her face.
The model jumped up onto her feet and ran away into the bunk beds with Ella's hand tightly clutched. They moved onto the empty bunk area, and closed the door behind them to not wake Matt up.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Breana whisper-yelled and it only made her more nervous.
Ella waved her hands to calm her down, "Stop! Stop!" She shouted back in a whisper.
Bre sighed, "He's totally asked you on a date."
"No he hasn't, it's just– We're just going out." Ella fought back, stuttering as she made her point.
"Going out. On a date." The model stated in a tone that said it was obvious.
"Fuck." She swore under her breath and Breana shrieked. "Shush! I don't want to get my hopes up."
The admission made Bre stop in her place, she grabbed Ella's arms and squeezed affectionately, "Everything will be okay, alright? Whatever happens, it will be a good day and you'll remember it as such."
She inhaled and exhaled, twice, long deep breaths to calm her down but they did nothing really. She needed a cigarette, desperately, but she needed to get ready first. "What do I even wear?! I have nothing date-appropriate to wear."
"Lucky you have me, babe." Breana wasted no time before she crouched down to pull her case towards herself, unzipping it and showing a mess of fabrics.
Ten minutes later, after she had been pushed into the bathroom to get ready and then change into the clothes Breana and her had chosen, she was putting some mascara on. Breana pushed one of her lip glosses into the pocket of the cheetah print coat she had lent Ella.
The coat had been decided into the outfit after Ella claimed she'd get too cold without one as she was just wearing a satin top, that looked like the top half of a slip-on dress, and her high waisted blue jeans. She fished her packet of Marlboro reds and her lighter after spraying some perfume on the way out, her camera already hanging on her shoulder and her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.
Her boots clicked as she walked down the few steps that led into the lounge. And Alex swallowed hard when she fully came in view. He didn't have it in him to feel shy or embarrassed to be heard by his mates when he went over to her, clutched her hand and told her, "You look beautiful, Ellie." followed by a kiss on her cheek.
His lips burned on the already heated skin of her cheeks. She just had it in her to say back a quiet, "Thank you, Al. So do you."
He quickly said goodbye to everyone before they could say anything, and he thanked his lucky stars that Matt wasn't there or else she would've shied away from it all with his teasing. She said bye too, quietly as the nerves bit away at her slowly with every step they took in direction to the bus door.
Once outside he decided to tease her, joke around to have her loosen up because he could feel just how stiff and nervous she was. "Beautiful am I then?"
She chuckled, blushing again. "Shut up." she replied with her head down, her voice directed at the floor. "Where are we going anyway?" She put a strand of hair behind her ear as she inquired.
Alex smiled softly at her, "We're renting a car and I'm taking you to this place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance to."
"Mysterious." She let her words hang in the air as they walked, she had no idea where they were going and that made her more nervous yet she was growing giddy too. The bus had stopped at the venue, so they took an exit through a door all the way around, where the fans weren't queuing up for later.
Just like he had been saying, there was a car rental place a few blocks away and it wasn't long before they were driving down San Diego's coast. About twenty minutes later, when she had asked many times where they were going and he was not telling her, Ella was able to see the outline of a rollercoaster beside the sea and it made her gasp.
"Are we going to Belmont Park?!" Her pitch was high as she couldn't contain her excitement, and Alex grinned hard when he took a quick glance at her and saw her practically beaming.
He hummed like he didn't want to let a pathetic happy squeal, "We are."
She couldn't stay still and she was aware that she probably looked like a child but she had always wanted to come to this place, and she was fairly sure she had mentioned it to him when they found themselves chatting over a few drinks at the bar of the hotel they had stayed in when they were in San Francisco.
It came back faintly to her mind then. Alex had mentioned that San Diego was the last place before they would drive back up to Los Angeles and Ella had gone on an alcohol-induced rant about how she'd been dying to go to Belmont Park but the few times she had gone down to San Diego, no one had wanted to go with her or something happened that kept her from going.
Her insides filled with a feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past few days, just thinking about how he had remembered all that when she had almost forgotten even mentioning it in between the cocktails.
Alex rolled the windows down, wind blowing their hair around. Not even her hair on her face could hide her grin and it only got bigger as they parked and got to the ticket booth.
The place was less crowded than she expected it to be, with kids back in school and it being winter, so they were walking freely and enjoying the controlled noise from the people already there.
The orange wristbands they had gotten allowed them to go on any ride they wanted so they went walking around the place, drinking in everything they could do throughout the day and seeing what caught their eyes first.
"We're definitely saving the roller coaster for last." She pointed out, her ears filling with the yells of people on the ride's trains as they came down the big slope.
He nodded, "Yep, but we're going in the first row." He was wearing dark sunglasses but she could see his teasing gaze behind them.
She smirked at him, "Okay, deal." putting her hand out for him to shake and that he did, firmly and matching her smirk.
A few minutes later they had found a mini golf course, safari themed that they deemed the best way to start the day. They picked up their score card, a pencil, their balls and putters and off they went into the course.
Ella turned to him as they approached the first hole, "Don't laugh at me," her finger threatening as it pointed straight at her face. "My dad tried to get me into golfing but I've always been shit at it."
His lips pressed hard against each other, trying to hide his smile. "Sure. Promise I won't laugh."
But when she hit the ball first and it awkwardly landed in the furthest spot from the hole, completely missing it by a foot, he snorted and she huffed as she turned around. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"
Her pout tugged at his heart strings, "Sorry darling," he pressed a kiss to her temple before placing his ball on the tee, "But you really are bad."
"I know." She whined, a soft chuckle leaving her lips seeing how far her ball was and how funny she found her own lack of golfing skills. Jesus, that's fucking embarrassing, she thought.
Ella didn't mind keeping the score, she was just a little embarrassed by the end when Alex won by having half her points. She blushed when he asked who had won, only wanting to tease her because he knew it was him.
Alex had compensated it by getting her ice cream, which they were eating away blissfully as they walked around.
The wind kept blowing her hair around, making her curse as she tried to keep it away from the ice cream. He stopped and handed her his cup, she was confused until he stood behind her and brushed her hair back to then start braiding it.
Her face was heating up, as she stared ahead of her, feeling his fingers on her hair. "What are you doing?" The words were so soft they almost sounded weak.
"A plait, so your hair doesn't blow on your face." Alex responded just as softly, his breath hitting the back of her neck. He could see the goosebumps erupting on her skin so he smirked, purposely brushing his finger against her neck soothingly.
He didn't take long to finish it, tying it with an elastic she had on her wrist. He squeezed her shoulders to indicate he was done and she turned around on her heels, "Thanks, Al."
"No worries." He smiled, getting his ice cream back from her.
"Where did you learn how to braid? I'm curious now."
Alex chuckled at her eyes clearly showing her curiosity. "I used to have long hair y'know."
She paused, "Wait– like long long? Longer than when we met?"
He nodded, "Way longer."
"Oh I'm gonna have a good time on google later." Ella elbowed him softly to tease him, cheeky smile breaking out despite the spoon between her teeth.
He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, "Sure you will. Will have a good time chatting shit with Matt too, I bet."
She beamed and joked, "You know me so well."
Ella kept on walking then to taunt him some more, leaving him to keep up with her as her strides got faster. She got a playful shove when he caught up beside her which ended in her laughing.
Teenagers were running around with their friends, laughter came from all around the place, the sun was shining bright behind the clouds that stubbornly chased the star around. It was all perfect and it only got better as the day went by.
They had gone on the bumper cars twice, the drop tower, the beach blaster—which had gotten them so dizzy they ended up riding the carrousel afterwards, earning frowns from certain parents who were holding their toddlers up on the horses—, the go karts, the fun house and even a laser maze.
It was around lunch time when they were walking past a line of stands filled with food you could only find at a fair. Sweetness bold in the air, making their mouths water.
"What's that? Smells very nice." asked Alex when they passed a funnel cake kiosk.
Ella stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist to drag him to the back of the short line. "Funnel cake and we're getting some," she fished for her card to keep it in hand and pay before he could, like he had done all day. "Have you ever tried it?"
He hadn't even heard of the term before, "No, is it good?"
She sighed in delight just thinking about it, "It tastes like heaven."
Ten minutes later they were sitting on a little wooden table with two funnel cakes—that she proudly and quickly paid for—sitting on top of it. One had whipped cream and caramel drizzled all over, while the other had a scoop of vanilla ice cream, chopped strawberries and chocolate fudge.
"This is like asking for a diabetic coma." The singer joked, watching the dessert filling the plates.
She smiled at that, "Welcome to America baby," she quipped back with a playful tone on her voice.
The phrase came out of her mouth without her even having time to realize the pet name, but she played off her flushing cheeks as excitement as she moved one of the plates towards him and pulled the other in front of her.
Plastic forks dug into the fried batter and, just as Ella had described, it tasted amazing. She made him take bites out of hers, claiming he had to try it or else he'd regret it, so he did and she watched him take it in as she wiped some caramel from the corner of her mouth.
Alex savored the bite, thinking about how if he kissed her, she'd taste just as sweet and just that thought made his mouth water even more.
She had been taking pictures, and he thought about how he'd never grow tired of seeing her like that: so adamant on catching the perfect shot, sometimes slightly crouching down or standing on her tippy toes, nose scrunching as she closed one of her eyes to focus the frame, finger so delicate yet precise when pressing the shutter and that beaming grin after capturing it.
The same grin she was giving him now after she had taken a picture of him and the funnel cakes, the rest of the attendees so oblivious to her heart swelling up at his soft smile and the way his eyes crinkled.
Once they finished their food, they stood up and kept on walking until they stumbled on a photobooth on the left side of the boardwalk. He paid before she could notice, and when they were sitting on the flat red leather seat, she awkwardly smiled at the screen.
There was a five second countdown that made her internally freak out until she settled on just smiling, eyes closed from how big it was and he copied it as he also faced the camera.
Once the shutter sound went off she sighed, "I have no idea what to do, I'm usually the photographer!"
He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulder to hug her into him, cheek pressed against her temple making her giggle. The sound of her bubbly laughter was interrupted by the shutter and she couldn't wait to see how that one had turned out.
She let out a small shriek, desperately trying to think of something to do. "Okay Mr. Rockstar, rock on." Ella said quickly before doing the rock 'n' roll sign with her right hand, tongue sticking out to the camera. He mirrored her actions, both of them bursting out with laughter right after. "Sorry I panicked, didn't know what to do."
Alex just shook his head and she scrunched up her nose looking at his blissed expression. "You're something else." He said almost breathlessly, getting lost in her pretty eyes.
"Is that a compliment?" Her voice was shy as her cheeks tinted pink for the hundredth time in the day.
He smirked, "Definitely."
And with that the shutter went off capturing the last picture. When they came out of the booth and saw the freshly printed pictures, they laughed. They laughed to hide how the strip of photos actually made them feel, her skin erupted in goosebumps at the sight of the last one: both of them just smiling wide at each other, eyes staring into the other's like nothing else mattered.
He held the little sleeve in which the two strips were now saved, and delicately placed it on the pocket inside of his jacket, so ironically over his heart.
Not long after, they were on the line for the roller coaster which they had agreed would be their last ride before they went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant she loved that wasn't too far away.
She had always hated the long queues at amusement parks, the wait making her body catch onto just how sore her feet were or how her back begged for a resting place but it was easy with Alex. They would get caught in conversations so quickly, effortlessly flowing through topics and stories, making the forty minutes of wait seem shorter.
He had asked for them to be seated in the front row, having to wait for five more minutes before they got the instruction to sit and when they did she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.
"Are you nervous?" Alex asked, half teasing and half worried.
Ella cleared her throat to begin explaining, "I love roller coasters but hate heights. Just a walking contradiction I am."
He squeezed her thigh to then pull on the black bar set firmly atop of their hips, "Don't worry, this won't budge."
And before she could nod the trains started moving and her eyes widened, a chesty laugh falling from his lips at her reaction. A few seconds later they were in complete darkness and then the light of day could be seen at the end of the tunnel.
Once the light hit them again, the trains started going up and she turned to him in warning. "Just so you know, I tend to laugh like a maniac when I'm scared on a ride."
"Very excited to see that." Alex was teasing her but not quite, he actually wanted to hear every version of her laugh.
Ella could see the drop coming up and suddenly she remembered the lack of protection her top provided, words spilling out of her mouth with no filter as the anticipation built up. "My fucking tits are gonna fall off this top!" She shouted through her teeth, just loud enough for only them both to hear.
In comparison, his laugh was loud, "Well I wouldn't mind seeing that either."
She scoffed, one hand on the bar on top of them and the other holding the fabric of her strappy top to her exposed chest. "Of course you wouldn't you cheeky– Fuck!"
The car dipped faster than she expected and she closed her eyes for a second after her curse flew out into the wind. He was laughing beside her, making her laugh with him and as the trains went up and down, a funny feeling on her stomach made her giggle away uncontrollably.
The ride ended after a brief minute of ups, downs and tilts to the sides, and as they came to a stop at the loading bay of the attraction, Alex turned to ask her, "You wanna go again?"
In all honesty, he didn't want to make another almost-hour-long line but the whole time he had been looking at her and hearing her in the ride, and he selfishly wanted to experience it all again.
"If the line wasn't as long, then I'd say yes. But maybe next time yeah?" Ella replied, patting his cheek before the worker lifted the security bar and they got out.
They had laughed at her reaction on the way back to the car, the sunset creeping on behind them. She gasped at the colors in the sky as she opened the car door so she stopped to take a picture before getting inside.
"Got it?" The singer asked softly with a small smile on his face.
"Mhm." She nodded, shy smile reciprocating his.
And then they drove as she sang to the songs from her phone. Smirking when 'Suck It And See' came on shuffle, "Oh what a lovely coincidence, isn't it Turner?" she had said before singing along to his voice booming through the speakers.
He had only shook his head as he looked at the road but whenever he turned to see her singing to her heart's content, with the pink and lilac casted behind her as the sun fell slowly to kiss the horizon, he took a mental picture of it all. Not because of nature's wonders but of her, in all her glory, she was far more captivating than any of the most stunning skies he had ever seen.
"A picture would last you longer, Turner." Ella played, feeling his burning gaze as she scrolled through her music on her phone.
His cheeks heated slightly from being caught, "It would. Quite gutted I'm driving right now."
She blushed but leaned into the console to get closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Your memory better do then."
When they stopped at the restaurant, she came out of the car with a bounce on her step. "Oh thank god! I was starving." she admitted, holding his hand as she rushed them into the place. When the tune of the bell greeted them inside, two heads turned and were quick to say 'hello' and sit them down.
"Alright so," she started, clasping her hands in front of her on top of the table, "My guilty pleasure is Mexican coke and I'm just so lucky that we always have it here in the south so we're getting some first. It's so much better than the American one, far sweeter."
He hummed at her, thinking back to remember if he'd ever had Mexican coke but barely even remembering the last instance he'd had a can of regular coke. So when someone came back to take their orders, the first thing she asked for was two bottles of Mexican coke along with carne asada tacos and chips with guacamole.
They ended up ordering another pair of Cokes to wash down the food. She desperately wanted one to nurse the numbness the hot chili sauce had left on her mouth and when the two new bottles were left on the table, she thanked the waitress and quickly enclosed her fingers around one of them.
Condensation dripped down her palm and wrist, as her swollen red lips found purchase around the tip of the bottle. She took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed the carbonated liquid. Alex suddenly wanted to be the bottle, to feel her lips on his in any way he could, to feel them around him. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be in the place of that damn bottle.
It was about an hour, the time they had spent at the restaurant. They paid—he did, despite her arguing with him about it—, and they were on their way back to the venue shortly after. When they got to the theater, they parked by the back entrance and ran inside seeing they only had fifteen minutes left before Alex had to be on stage.
He got waved over by one of the sound guys, telling him they needed him to check his in-ears before it was show time and he promised he'd be over soon, the man leaving after telling him where they were gonna be waiting for him.
She blushed at the tension in the air, she felt it so thick over her like the humidity after a hot summer rainfall. So shyly she held his hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. "Thank you for today." her tone was so timid, it made his need to kiss her shyness away even bigger.
He gave her a soft smile, so genuine that it melted her. "I should be the one thanking you, darling. Had the best day."
Someone in the distance shouted his name, and she could've bet money on it being none other than Matt 'Cockblocker' Helders. But before the drummer could've come to completely ruin the moment, she took it in her own hands to seal the day with a golden ribbon.
With a tinge of courage she started, "Well, happy Valentine's day Al." and before he could say it back, she was standing on her tippy toes and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.
For merely a few seconds he felt her plush pink lips on his, they were soft and hot, still a bit swollen from the hot sauce. They were seconds that felt like an eternity but way too short for his own liking. Just that moment felt like it had caused a domino effect that somehow provoked a new universe to be created in space, a new black hole to be born and suck everything around it.
She practically ran off before he could do anything else, following the signs that guided her towards the crowd where she knew Breana would be, like every other gig in the past days.
Matt yelled out his name once again but Alex was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the wall with the sensation of her lips still pressed against his.
"What the fuck are you doing just standing there like an absolute melt?" The drummer asked with a frown on his face, watching the clock ticking on the wall in front of him.
Alex sighed, wishing time would stop just so he could sit on the feeling and replay the moment over and over until it was permanently engraved in his mind, frame by frame. "Matt, would you just shut up?"
"What? Was the date bad or–?" Matt inquired, teasingly and ready to annoy his best mate.
The singer sighed and cut him off before he could continue with his taunting, "Shut up Matthew." To which the drummer frowned when he saw the big smile breaking out on Alex's face as he turned around.
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After the band got off stage, they all got back in the tour bus and when the lads had finished taking turns to shower, they suddenly decided it was a night worthy of some wine.
Four bottles of red wine later, Ella found herself giggling away as she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Their cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol and she felt like she was about to start sweating but she couldn't find it in herself to peel away from his side.
Not that Alex wanted her to, that's why his arm was firmly stuck around her waist as he kept her cuddled into his side. He would pinch her side when she made a dig at him, and rub soothing circles on her stomach over the satin of her top when she would laugh or snuggle further into him.
It was nearly three in the morning when they all started to quiet down and he noticed how Ella seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, face hidden on the crook of his neck.
He couldn't find it in himself to wake her up, that's why he stayed until the latest he could, watching everyone wave him goodnight before disappearing up the steps. Eventually, his eyes started closing as he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. He rubbed her arm, up and down until she started squirming under his touch.
"Darling, shall we go to bed now?"
She mumbled something, her lips brushing against the base of his throat, making him almost shiver.
"Should I carry you to bed?" He suggested, his fingers pinching her side softly as he continued, "Huh? Lazy."
She groaned, "I can walk Al. Just–" she paused to yawn behind her hand, "Gonna keep my eyes closed though, so just guide me yeah?"
He nodded, "Alright." So he did what she had asked, saying "Step, another step, last step." his hands around her waist as he walked behind her and guided her back into the bunk beds. When he slowly opened the door, he noticed Jamie and Nick inside their bunks, snoring away peacefully. Bre and Matt were nowhere to be found but he could bet they were on any of the other beds from the room that followed the one they all slept at. At least they are considerate today, he thought.
When they were in front of her bed, he brushed her hair back and away from her face. "We have arrived at your destination, darling."
She hummed slightly in annoyance as she now had to open her eyes to slide into her resting space. "Thank you," her eyes opened just a tiny bit, hissing at the light hitting her corneas. "Fuck, that's bright."
His chuckle made her smile, a loopy grin before she slid into her bunk. "You comfortable?" Alex asked as she slithered further inside the bunk.
She sighed content to finally be in bed, "Very much so," she poked her head out, squinting to see him and decided she was sleepy enough to not care about what she did anymore so she leaned into him to give him another kiss. A peck that ended up being delivered to the corner of his mouth but he wouldn't complain, not when her voice sounded so mellow when she said "Sweet dreams, Al."
And they were sweet dreams, the ones he had, as he fell asleep with the whole day playing on his mind in a never ending loop that he wasn't getting tired of, and the feeling of her lips on his haunting him.
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Ella woke up the next day with another headache and a long list of questions. The memories of the previous day helped lull the ache in her skull but it only added to every single one of her inquiries and worries. She had no idea if things would change or if it would stay all the same.
That was answered sooner than she expected when she went out to meet everyone after brushing her teeth. It seemed like it all was the same but different at the same time, because he still told her good morning followed by a kiss on her cheek but whatever she felt about the things he did before had grown exponentially, and it was like her stomach was flipping on its own over and over.
It happened throughout the whole day, her insides melting at every single embrace, the kisses on her cheek or her temple, the laughs in her ear. And Alex wasn't too far behind, feeling his insides coat with warmth when she would hug his waist every time he came beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, the way she'd play with his fingers as she chatted with the guys, how she would brush his hair out of his face when the strands got in his eyes.
They had driven back to Los Angeles that morning, meaning they had arrived at the venue just in time for lunch and they weren't planning on doing anything else other than stay in the greenroom until showtime.
After their meal, the band had done a quick soundcheck before the show. Bre and Ella, cheering for them, playfully telling them they could do better and doing silly little dances that didn't match the songs at all.
Back in the greenroom, they had started drinking and playing truth or dare. Ella had rolled her eyes but agreed to participating, despite being nervous about what she'd be dared to do or say.
It was Nick's turn to choose someone and that person ended up being Ella. Her sigh was heard by the whole group, making them laugh.
"Ella, truth or dare?" The bassist's eyes indicated nothing but trouble.
She sipped on her margarita before choosing, "Truth."
Nick paused for a few seconds before he straightened up and smirked, "What was your worst sexual encounter?"
She blew the air out of her mouth dramatically, "You wanna know the worst worst one?"
Everyone nodded along with Nick, all curious to know.
"Okay, erm– Fuck, alright. Just be ready 'cause it's really bad." She started, putting her drink down on the closest table. "A little preface though, this was back when I was confused and seeing if I actually did like men or if I was just a lesbian so bear with me."
She cleared her throat before she could start and took a deep breath, "It was sophomore year in university, we were all in Florida for spring break and I took the chance to just... Y'know," her cheeks reddened at the thought of saying her motives to her friends, "Fuck around." she finished quietly and they all laughed making her face heat up even more.
"Anyway, so I found this guy at the beach who was really hot and he ended up buying me a drink and whatever. Long story short, he told me he had a room in this hotel across the street and we had both been pretty obvious about our intentions so we went up to his room." They all saw how she grew impossibly redder as she reminisced, "So we got down to it..."
Breana interrupted with a gasp, "He went down on you?"
Ella just shook her head, "I wish." The words left her lips before she could think about them and everyone chuckled at her bluntness. "We were just getting off for a while, you know, dry humping and whatnot until we got to bed." She sighed, grimacing at what was coming next. "We took our clothes off and all, he put a condom on after I asked him to and then he started going at it. Only that he never went inside me..." She trailed off, her voice rising in pitch as she got more embarrassed.
"He was on top and we were basically in missionary, but when he went to, erm– put it in, he just put it between my ass and the bed and started thrusting. Mind you, I wasn't making a single noise because I was genuinely confused while he was moaning like a mad man." She turned to grab her glass back up and take a swig of it, the tequila pushing her to finish the story. "He finished so quick and had the nerve to ask if I had finished, I just stood up, said 'no but probably the duvet did', put my shit back on and left him."
Jamie whistled, "Mental."
Matt had the deepest frown on his face, "How do you not notice it's not in?"
"He said something about that being the reason he doesn't wear condoms as I walked away." Ella shrugged, before taking another sip of her drink. "Thanks to him I almost entirely gave up on men."
Breana snickered then, "Oh, but do tell who gave you back hope."
"That's for you to find out if I choose truth in another turn." Ella winked at the model with rosy cheeks, bluffing as she definitely wasn't choosing truth then because one sex story was enough for the day.
Nick interrupted then, "Alright Ella, who are you choosing now?"
"Jamie." She decided after a few seconds of internal debate. "Truth or dare?"
"Dare." The guitarist uttered, taking a sip of his own drink.
"I dare you to reenact for us your favorite position." She had a smirk on her face, wanting to tease the man just for the laugh.
"Can't do it alone though." Jamie argued just to see if that would get him out of the dare.
But to Jamie's dismay, she pointed at the man standing right beside him, "Well you've got Alex right there don't you?"
When Jamie dragged Alex to the settee and pulled him on top of him as he laid on it, the rest of the group started hollering, Matt wolf whistling as Alex hovered above Jamie's lap in a cowgirl position, swinging an imaginary laso above his head.
"I see the vision, Ella." Bre approved playfully between giggles which got her giggling too as she went to retrieve her polaroid camera.
She pointed at the two guys on the sofa and ordered them, "Stay there, I'm taking a picture of this." as she turned the device on, and ten seconds later the shutter had gone off and the picture was getting printed out.
Matt took the opportunity, seeing as Jamie got off the sofa leaving Alex sat there alone, to dare Ella to do the same using Alex as her partner. "Go on then Ella, it's your turn to show us yours."
"Says who? It's Jamie's turn to choose." She chatted back knowing exactly what Matt was trying to do.
But before she could continue, Jamie clocked onto what the drummer was doing and egged her on. "I choose you and you're doing that same dare."
She rolled her eyes, cheeks growing more flushed despite them being already pink from the alcohol. Her legs hit the sofa and she laid on it just like Jamie had done, only she pressed her feet on the settee but before she lifted her hips up, she grabbed Alex's hand and guided him on top of her.
He was about to tease her, about to say 'Oh so you like being on the bottom?' when she knocked the breath out of his lungs by saying, "Hop on, you be me." loud enough for everyone to hear and gasp in shock.
Once Alex was on top of her, she pushed his hands to be just above her shoulders so his chest was almost pressed against her and his collarbone was straight on top of her face. She lifted her hips up and pressed them on his ass for a quick second, winking at him before dropping back down.
Matt was quick to comment, with a heavy smirk on his face. "Oh she is dirty."
Nick followed, "Naughty!"
And Jamie topped it all off by asking, "How long have you been thinking about that one? You worked that out with Alex really quick."
She hid behind her hands, her palms feeling the growing heat on her whole face. "I'm never drinking with y'all ever again."
Everyone laughed away, even Alex but he did it in her ear as he dropped further into her fully sitting on her lap.
"Uncover your face for me darling." He ordered with such a raspy voice she wanted to squeeze her thighs together but she couldn't so she just did as he said. He smirked, pulling back a few inches to see her from that angle, all flustered and with her hair disheveled over the settee. What a stunning view.
"That's it." His eyes looked at her adoringly and she felt like she was melting onto the settee under his gaze, but Ella completely froze and burnt over at the same time when Alex whispered to her, "Good girl."
As if he hadn't just said that, he got up and walked over to get another cup of whiskey. She was left gathering her thoughts on the sofa, head all scrambled and her very human needs screaming at her to do something about the man.
She got up eventually, Breana winking at her as she walked past her and to the table which had the bottle of tequila. She needed a shot, or two. So she poured them and downed them instantly, needing herself to calm down.
After that moment, it felt like everything had gotten even more intense. Maybe it was the sexual tension suffocating them whilst they were in the same room and she wondered if their friends around them could feel it too.
Alex would come up behind her and hug her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rubbed circles on the skin that showed in between her black dress pants and her shirt. Ella would relax in his arms, drowning in his scent as she indulged in the sweetness of his touch.
He would press kisses to her face before he went anywhere, brushing his fingers on her arm or her waist as he walked past. She would turn over her shoulder to see him and scrunch her nose at him before leaving a peck on his cheek that made a toothy grin break out on his face.
She was drinking it all in, knowing that the next day, when her coworkers from the crew came over to the venue for the gig and later on they moved to the place they'd film at, she would force herself to distance herself from Alex just to appear professional and not have everyone talking and asking questions.
That's why that night, she was in front of the barricade beside Breana recording every single bit of the gig that her phone allowed her. He had noticed, of course he had, since he spent most of the time on stage looking at her so he decided to tease her for a bit.
"You ready? You recording?" Alex asked into the mic with his eyes on her and everyone in the crowd looked to their left to see her.
Her eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights so she just lowered her phone down with her signature pink cheeks.
He wanted to coo at her, "No, no. Record this one, it's your favorite." The singer added before he put the mic back on its stand and started playing 'Teddy Picker'.
She had recorded it all and when she went back to see the videos before falling asleep, she found every glance he took at her forever captured, every point of his finger as he sang, every little dance of his that she knew where the one's she had made fun of him for. She had it all.
And just as she had predicted, the next and last day of the little tour had arrived, making her wake up melancholic. She savored every hug, every feel of his lips against her skin, every graze of his fingers on her body, before her bosses and coworkers got to the venue.
When the Focus Creep crew arrived, a few hours before the show, Alex instantly noticed the change in her behavior and he knew why that was, so he would respect it. He kept to stolen glances and fleeting touches, no constant kisses on her cheek or her temple, no hugging her every chance he got but definitely some embraces here and there.
The limited affection had already sparked questions and talks from her coworkers so he understood her position, which he had heard in echoes and passing comments, and on top of that was Ben who attentively was watching them and then smirking at Alex like he knew exactly what was happening.
Ella had decided to be a part of the crowd that night, standing almost in the middle of the crowd, about five rows from the barricade but she had a perfect view of the stage so she wasn't complaining. Some of her friends from work stood beside her and Breana did too, they all had a drink in hand, sipping absentmindedly as they waited for the show to start.
When they had all finished their drinks is when the band had gone on stage, causing the sea of people to push forward and make her stumble. He had found her in between all the faces fairly quickly, winking at her before greeting the audience and starting the gig.
She knew by then that the sixth song was always one he would sing looking at her since she loved it, so before they were due to start it she puckered up and blew a cheeky kiss to him when his eyes had landed on her.
He smiled before puckering up himself and blowing her multiple kisses. Bre shook her by her shoulders and shrieked in her ear very not subtly, making her wince inside but her smile couldn't be brighter and she couldn't care less if her work friends had seen, because she was incredibly happy.
She was sure by the end of the night she'd grow the courage to properly kiss him. Finally.
So with that goal set in her mind, she kept going about her night with a smile and a skip in her step. She had a beaming smile on her face even as she picked her blue clipboard and saw the massive list of things she had to make sure were in order for the shoot.
The location in which they were filming had only been ten minutes away, and they had come to it almost ready. There was a car which looked the exact same as the one on the Black Treacle music video and about twenty feet in front of it, by the end of a dirt trail, was a circular spinning platform that was homing a drum kit made to look exactly like Matt's on stage.
Around the place were tents in which Matt and Alex were being touched up to be ready for filming, and two tents down the row from the lads were the models getting their makeup done and changed into costume. Caroline and Arielle were the lovely models and Ella had just introduced herself to them before she got called away by one of the camera men.
When Ella went back to the tents to check up on the models, she walked past Alex and Arielle chatting away a few feet away from the tents and beside the big lights that were up around the site, soft smiles on both their faces as they dove into conversation. She felt a small pinch in her chest, one that she decided to ignore the best she could because Alex was a nice person, he was kind and welcoming and she had no reason to feel and react that way at the fact that he was only talking to someone else who she had heard was his friend.
Her feet took her to check up on Caroline who was almost ready, and Matt who was getting his hair fixed. She instructed both of them to go back into the filming area as soon as they were done so the filming could be started.
After that she left to go stand beside Nick, talking to him about random stuff like how long it usually took the crew to set up shoots like that or how Nick had been doing with the wedding planning as she'd heard him on the phone in the morning with Kelly.
When the four people who were gonna appear in the video were ready, Ella told them to follow her up to the directors. Ben and Aaron told them they would rehearse a few goes before properly filming the whole thing, since it was a single-shot video and it would be filmed by Alex and Matt at the start.
First went Alex and Matt, to get instructed exactly what they should do when they got in the car and how they got out, the musicians brainstorming the things they could do whilst they filmed themselves in the car.
As they went over and over again, for about six or seven times, Ella had been standing next to Arielle. They had been talking about lots of things: Arielle's modeling career, Ella's photography hobby, how Arielle had been auditioning for a few commercials and small acting gigs, how Ella had moved to LA and a year later landed a job with Ben and Aaron. The girls had gotten on fairly well, following each other on Instagram and laughing about the things Alex and Matt were doing in front of the camera.
After that, Ella got called over as the two brits got let off after almost half an hour. Matt had gotten off the car and gave her a smile, Alex side hugged her quickly before walking off with the drummer. She had smiled back at him when he let go but he missed it as his eyes were set on the model standing a few feet behind the PA, his smile being directed towards Arielle rather than her.
She had had to act cool, as if that minimal detail wasn't begging to claim her every thought, nodding as her bosses told her to stay close and annotate as they gave instructions to the crew on set.
Someone drove the car back down the dirt trail, Ben guiding the two cameramen on the angles he wanted to be captured and the setting on the light. Ella had helped move some of the lights, her eyes focused on Aaron as he moved his hands from side to side and sometimes rotating them.
Her eyes had slipped in Alex's direction a fair few times and she had noticed just how much closer Arielle and him looked, as they didn't leave each other's side even if she got called over by the makeup department or he was called over by Ben to ask if he was alright with that angle and the timing.
By the time she was done with the lights, Ella had gotten sent to check if the platform was spinning correctly, she pressed the button and as she heard it turn she also heard Alex's voice a tad louder than the creaks of the spinning object.
"So have you got a map?" He asked Arielle, his shoulder brushing the model's.
Arielle frowned with a smile on her face, "Of LA?" The singer nodded quickly, "No I don't, why?" she had asked back just as quickly.
"Just wanted one 'cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." Hiss tone was cheeky, and Arielle let out a bubbly laugh. Her perfect smile on full display as she nudged Alex's shoulder with hers.
"That was a nice one." Arielle had replied back, still smiling hard at him.
Ella had spun the platform back around by the time she had heard the end of the interaction and she rolled her eyes before walking back to the directors. She couldn't be annoyed though, she had no right to be, he was probably just being funny like he always was.
Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself.
As the directors went over to Nick to tell him exactly how he'd be sitting in the back between the two models, Matt came to stand beside Ella. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as Arielle was still very much stuck beside the singer and he was leaning into her more and more making her laugh.
"Seems like you make a great matchmaker." lightheartedly joked the drummer, looking at the same thing she was.
She frowned, confused as she turned to Matt, "What do you mean?" Matt pointed at Alex and Arielle with a tilt of his chin and she frowned even deeper before adding, "It wasn't my decision to choose her."
It was Matt's turn to frown then, "Whose was it then?"
"Well I was told by your team she was selected by you because you already knew her."
Matt sighed, "We've seen her a couple times in artists sections in festivals, yes, but the only one who was a slight bit more of an acquaintance with her is Alex."
Ella hummed, "That answers the question then, doesn't it?" She finished up, a tight lip smile that was way too forced and Matt started to feel bad. It got worse when Arielle broke out in a very loud laugh that had Alex covering her mouth with his hand, fully hugging her as they swayed from her weak attempts to break from his hold.
Ella's heart was sinking, but she had to remind herself she had no leg to stand on to go and complain about his behavior, to be openly jealous about it because nothing serious had happened between her and Alex. At least not serious enough for him, if he was going around acting this way with Arielle after being so close with her the week before.
Ben called everyone to their places, meaning Ella saw Arielle and Alex separate for the first time in thirty minutes. She had no idea what to think anymore, the way he was acting with the model reminded her how he was with her and she hated it.
She tried to push it in her mind that he and Arielle were friends already, so maybe there was a trust to act that way with each other. She tried, but it did nothing to the way her guts twisted at the image of those two together like that.
They did one take but something had seemed off from the cameras, the settings seemed too different from the car to the outside shot so the directors got to fixing it up the quickest they could after they yelled cut.
Out of the corner of her eye she had caught Alex and Arielle leaving for the furthest tent and getting behind it, her giggles could be heard as they walked away from everyone and she slowly felt like she was going to be sick.
It took about ten minutes to get it all sorted out, Ben's voice called everyone up again to start filming again and everyone listened. Aaron called the models in first, giving them a second rundown of their duties and how they should get in frame. As the director talked, Alex had walked over to Ella and hugged her from behind like he had gotten used to throughout the tour.
Ella hadn't want anything more than that, as she had been deprived of his touch for a fair while since they had gotten to the set, but when she tried to relax into his chest and rest her head on his shoulder, she had smelt the model's perfume and it had make her freeze in her spot. Alex had felt her tense up but brushed it off, his mind too aware that he had the attention of two stunning women and it had gotten his ego boosted up a little too high.
She didn't reciprocate the embrace like before: only one of her hands on top of his, her back inches apart from his chest, her head not weighing down on his shoulder, no kisses on his cheek, no cheeky glances or nose scrunches. But he didn't really wonder about it since he was too busy staring at the other American girl that was dressed in costume right in front of him. A few seconds later, he got called over and he easily let go of Ella, leaving her with a faint squeeze of her waist.
She had noticed how enthusiastic he got every time he was able to get back beside the model, always a smirk on his face as he kept brushing shoulders with her or whispering things in her ear before he got in the car for each take.
Alex was looking amazing for the shoot as well, meaning Ella could see Arielle so painfully obvious checking Alex out and him doing the same to the model when she turned around.
It was probably the twelfth official take they had done, almost running off of the flares the models walked with to the drum kit as they kept repeating the video over and over. The new song that she had already learned the lyrics to, now completely engraved in her mind since they had it playing on loop with almost no breaks in between each play.
The question now replayed in her mind, bringing back memories. Are you mine? His gaze stuck on hers while singing the chorus. Are you mine? Her wink after she sang 'are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight' that night at the very last gig, making his smirk grow and a tinge of blush show on his face. Are you mine? His eyes no longer on her now, but stuck on Arielle even when he had her in his arms. Are you mine? Ella just wanted to turn the song off to stop it all coming to the forefront of her mind.
They were about to start the thirteenth take, after the directors went over the last bit of footage the last take had given them, when she walked past the quiet place Arielle and Alex were cooped up in. It was near a corner, behind a line of four big lights and away enough from everyone from the crew. Ella had been walking around the site, the edges of it taking her straight behind them, and that's why she had heard them.
"I've got another question..." Alex had started with that tone that meant he was gonna say one of his cheesy flirt lines and Ella just had to stay and listen to what he'd say, she thought her head was cooler by then and she might find it funny but she had no idea what she was about to get. "How does it feel like being the most gorgeous girl in the room?"
Ella's blood ran cold then, the familiar words coming back to her like a bucket of ice cold water and as Arielle giggled and leaned into him touching his arm, she felt herself feeling faint.
She didn't even think about her following actions, as she scoffed much louder than she anticipated but still quiet enough for it to only be heard by her and the other two. Her feet took her faster than she was thinking, accidentally barging into Alex's shoulder as she made a beeline towards her bosses.
He whipped his head around so fast, forgetting about the model beside him and catching a glimpse of Ella's pale complexion. But his worry was brief as he turned back around to the model, who was now fully leaning into him to continue flirting with him. A smile broke out on his face, seeing Arielle's reaction.
Ella felt like those fifteen feet of walk had actually been a whole mile, her heart hammering in her chest as if trying to keep her up until she could finally break down. As soon as she got beside Ben, she tapped his shoulder. The man saw her worried face, the lack of color on it and he got preoccupied.
"Are you alright Ella?" Ben asked softly, his inquiry making Aaron pause what he was doing to check on their PA.
She sighed, feeling everything coming up her throat and wanting to leave her body. "I'm not feeling well guys, I– I, uhm, I think it would be better if I just go home."
Aaron nodded, they didn't have much left anyways and Ella was so dedicated to her job, they knew that if she was asking to leave, it was because of something serious. "Of course, you have a way to get home?"
She thought about her car, being parked at the hotel an hour away from home but she'd take a taxi. She didn't care anymore, she just didn't want to be there. "Yes, someone is coming to get me, don't worry."
And just like that they let her go. She practically ran to the Monkeys' tour bus to retrieve everything she had there, and she thanked the fact that Bre had to leave right after the show for having encouraged her to have her suitcase ready well before the gig.
Ella called a cab company and told them to pick her up at a McDonald's that was a block away. As she walked, she felt like she wanted to cry and it infuriated her even more. Because why would she cry? They weren't anything at all, a date didn't mean shit apparently and much less would the touches they shared.
She cursed herself for getting attached when she knew she shouldn't have. It all came back to who they were, even if he hadn't done what he had that night, by the end of it she'd be getting dropped off at her house and he'd be leaving to travel around the world. It would've never worked out.
When she remembered how she had strived to properly kiss him goodbye that night, before they parted ways once again, she allowed herself to let the tears fall. And she cried on the way back home, when she saw their photo booth pictures sticking out of the inside pocket of her purse.
She wanted to throw it away but she couldn't, that's what she did when somebody hurt her: cling onto every last beautiful thing they gave her even if the memory stung like a wound being sprayed with salt. She was half tempted to burn it as she lit the cigarette she had just placed between her lips before finding the pictures but when she flipped it, she found something written down.
'only the sweetest of dreams for you, miss tennessee xxxx'
It came over her how every sweet memory of him would taste bitter now, and how it would up until the moment she'd finally decide she was over it. And that's when it all started tasting more bitter, and then it turned sour and her sadness turned into anger.
The audacity he had had, to just drop her like a toy he had gotten bored of, and maybe he had had other intentions but seeing how shy she was and how he wasn't getting anywhere, he decided to change her the first chance he got.
And there it was, that feeling of being so easily replaceable dawning over her head like the darkest cloud in the sky that swore to bring the heaviest precipitation of the year. The heartache she had felt when she got cheated over by the one person she swore was the one, and it was insane to her how she could feel a similar way about someone she knew for so little doing her wrong too. But she couldn't downplay it either, not when it opened a wound back up that had taken so long to close.
In her head she was asking herself repeatedly, 'am I that easy to replace?' until each word lost its meaning but the feeling was still the same, if not worse.
She cried a little more when she got home, feeling the familiar walls like an embrace that she longed for. The tears were falling as she showered, slowly and without permission, making her wipe them with more force than necessary, leaving her cheeks red raw. But it had been slightly relieving to cry under the shower for she confused her tears with the water falling over her and it made her feel less pathetic.
By the time she was out of the shower and she slowly finished getting ready to sleep, the filming had been wrapped up. The crew were quick to pick everything up and load it into the production company's coach.
Matt walked over to Alex, who was too busy staring at Arielle's ass as she walked away to get out of costume that he didn't notice his presence until he cleared his throat.
"Y'Alright?" asked Matt, still confused about his friend's antics throughout the day.
Alex nodded with a tight lip smile, "You?"
"Wonderful." The drummer answered, a slight hint of irony in his voice that the singer decided to ignore.
The both of them had stayed quiet, watching the organized chaos going around. And it wasn't until Alex saw Ben with Ella's blue clipboard as he waved goodbye to them that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's Ella?" The singer seemed worried, it dawning on him then how he hadn't seen her since she barged into him.
Matt shrugged, "Dunno. She left running earlier and the driver said she got her case from the bus."
Alex's heart dropped, thinking about all the endless possibilities of something happening to her, "I'm gonna text her and see if she's okay."
"Well, she probably isn't after she's played cupid against herself." Matt sassily replied.
Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"
Matt sighed, almost annoyed at his best mate's lack of common sense, "Mate, there was something there between you two after Valentine's day, and tonight you've just gone and switched her for Arielle."
"No I haven't. Me and Arielle, that's just banter." He explained back like it was obvious.
The drummer didn't want to get deeper into the situation, he had already said what he had seen and all that was left was for his friend to realize so, "Whatever you say Al." was all he mustered before leaving him, going straight back to their tour bus.
Ten minutes Alex was left thinking, taking the first few minutes to text Ella and the rest to thoroughly think about what Matt had just said. He knew she must've heard him talking to Arielle and maybe it wasn't the best of things to listen to after everything that had happened during the past week but it was just lighthearted banter to him, a joke to keep them entertained during the filming process.
It was all a misunderstanding and he would tell her if that's what she had gotten upset over. Surely it has to be something else though, he thought.
(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x
(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx
(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx
(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx
(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx
Their drive to LAX had been going fine. They were relatively quiet in comparison to how they usually were but it was because they were tired: the days of tour, driving and walking around plus the late night filming had caught up to them. Alex was mixing his concern about Ella with his exhaustion making it even worse, the sways of the tour bus not helping with the headache he could feel brewing in the back of his skull.
Alex's thoughts were interrupted then by Matt laughing at his phone, the light of his device reflecting on his eyes.
(16/02/2012 23:32) Is everything good Ella? Saw you running to leave the set.
(16/02/2012 23:48) Everything is good Matt! Sorry for leaving like that and not saying bye, I was feeling kinda sick and I couldn't keep it together any longer. (Feel like a bitch for not saying goodbye knowing I'm not going to see you for god knows how long :()
(16/02/2012 23:48) Yeah probably not the best to have you projectile vomiting in the middle of our music video!! (You don't have to feel like one, you're one already xxxx)
(16/02/2012 23:49) You're the absolute worst...
(16/02/2012 23:49) HAHA love you Ellie!! Hope to see you very soon xx
(16/02/2012 23:49) Love you too dickhead. See you soon xx
Before Alex could complain about the unnecessary noise coming from Matt, he informed them all, "Ella's fine, she was just feeling ill." which made Alex snap his eyes open to look at him.
Jamie snorted then, cheekily suggesting, "Ask her if she's sure she isn't pregnant."
Leaning over Matt's shoulders, Nick and Jamie started laughing as the drummer's fingers started typing what the guitarist had said.
Alex frowned, not only at his friends acting like kids but at the fact that Ella had replied to Matt and not him. There wasn't a day she didn't reply to him within minutes if she was awake. He thought for a second then that he might've gotten a reply but hadn't noticed it, so to make sure he unlocked his phone.
But he hadn't expected what he saw, and he thought back to what Matt had said and just how bad of a confusion the end of the night had been when he was met with the proof that she had just plainly ignored him.
(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x
(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx
(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx
(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx
(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx
read at 23:41
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A/N: Uh oh... Well now I don't even know if I should ask if you liked it hahaha, but I really hope you did. Shit only gets more interesting from here so I hope you lot are just as eager as me to see how it unfolds. Thanks a million for reading, I appreciate it so much!! I hope you have the best weekend and I'll see you April 7th for the next one xx
Taglist:  @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​
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brasiliangp · 3 months
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'drive to survive' season 6: a cheat sheet for people like me, who only care about like 3 ppl of the grid <3
Episode 1: Money Talks
Team: Aston Martin
0 - 2:00; shows some of the drivers (Lando, Lance, George, Max, Alex, Esteban) and Gunther on their winter breaks
2:41; Lawrence going all 007 villain mood
6:30; Aston Martin car launch
10:32; Lance gets injured
12:30 - 19:30; drivers in Bahrain (photoshoot, talk about Mercedes and Ferrari)
20:15; Lance is back
23: 20 - race (Bahrain GP) (does focus on Mercedes/Lewis/Toto a bit)
30:20 - Fred and Ferrari
33 - onwards; Aston Martin's podium, reactions from Mercedes and Ferrari, moments between Lawrence and Lance
Episode 2: Fall from Grace
Team: Alpha Tauri / Red Bull
Christian Horner TW throughout!!!!!
1:40 - start talking about Daniel
4: 35 - Red Bull car launch
also Daniel shows up for the first time
6:37 - Nyck is introduced
8:05 - some Red Bull tory nonsense with a charity shooting thing
10:33 - Jeddah
12:49 - introduction to the change in leadership at AT
14:34 - 17:51; race footage
18 - Nyck showing his Monaco apartment
backstory into Nyck and him chatting with a friend till 20:20
22:10 - Monaco GP
23:50 - they bring out the traumatized by rbr support group (Gasly and Albon) to talk about Nyck
25:00 - Daniel and Horner discuss plans for the future
27:30 - 32:30; race footage
32:55 - Horner calls Daniel
33 - Silverstone test
38:40 - Daniel back in F1
39:30 - Back to Nyck
Episode 3: Under Pressure
Team: McLaren
2:18 - McLaren car launch
4:24 - Oscar introduction
7:30 - 9:17; race footage (Bahrain)
11:40 - talks about Lando possibly switching teams (lasts literally the whole episode)
11:56 - 12:27; Horner TW
12:30 - Miami GP
16:49 - 19:16; Zac and Lando go golfing
20:40 - 23:58; race footage (Miami)
25:00 - 26:25; Lando and George flying together
26:25 - 27:30; Lando's life story
35:20 - Silverstone footage
Episode 4: The Last Chapter
Teams: Haas / Williams
0 - 4:00; Gunther
4:00 - Introduction to Nico/Kevin
5:13 - addressing the drama between then
7:08 - Williams
7:33 - James introduction
13:26 - 16:30; race footage (Jeddah)
17:57 - 19:50; Gunther
19:50 - 20:30; James
20:30 - 21:20; Alex working out
21:30 - Alex and James talking
24:30 - 29:50; race footage (Montreal)
29:57 - Lily!
39:40 - 41; race footage (Mexico)
43:10 - 45; Mattia Binotto TW
Episode 5: Civil War
Team: Alpine
2:10 - 5:40; Pierre in Cannes
8:20; Pierre and Esteban at the Alpine HQ
11:50 - 14:10; Pierre and Esteban story (where the drama started)
14:20 - 15:40; Pierre and Esteban go karting
17:30 - 23; race footage (Australia)
25:05 - 26:20; Esteban family house/working out
27: TP drama
28:30 - 37; Monaco GP
Episode 6: Lead of Faith
Team: Mercedes
0:15 - 3:40; George and Lewis shooting the road test video
8:25 - 9:05; Lewis talks about issues with the car
9:20 - 14:30; very sweet moment with the Wolffs where Jack goes karting
17 - 19; Lewis contract talks
19:00 - 19:12; "Lewis and I agreed to be open and honest with each other" Toto
19:25 - 19:35; "if Lewis were to leave it would almost look like he lost faith in the team" George
20:45 - 25; race footage (Barcelona)
26:30 - 27; Barcelona podium
28:30 - 30; Toto and Lewis talk
31:40 - Lewis' extension with Mercedes is announced
32:10 - "There just never feels like a time where I won't be a Mercedes driver" Lewis
Episode 7: C'est La Vie
Team: Alpine
0:30 - 0:40; Ocon and Ryan Reynolds
3:15 - 5; Pierre at a basketball game
5 - 6; Ocon in St. Tropez
7:50 - Horner TW but this one was funny lmfao
8:10 - 13:10; race footage (Silverstone)
15:40 - 17:00; race footage (Hungary)
20:40 - Omar is fired
22:56 - 23; Horner TW
26: Bruno sits Pierre and Esteban down for a chat
29:35 - 34:37; race footage (Zandvoort)
34:40 - 35:50; Pierre's podium
Episode 8: Forza Ferrari
Team: guess?
0 - 5:00; introduction to Fred and Ferrari
10:10 - 10:50; Carlos and his mom
15:40 - 22:30; race footage (Monza)
23:59 - 25:33; Fred, Carlos and Charles having lunch at Maranello
31:30 - 40; race footage (Singapore)
Episode 9: Three's a Crowd
Team: Alpha Tauri
0 - 2:40; Daniel
2:49 - 3:26; Alex and Logan talk about Daniel coming back
8:10 - 10:10 - Zandvoort (Daniel crashes)
12 - 14:25; Liam is introduced
17:45 - 20:40; quali in Singapore
25:33 - 30; race footage (Singapore)
31:50 - 32:56; Daniel working out
34:20 - 37; race footage (Suzuka)
37:50 - 38; Horner tells Liam Yuki and Daniel will be driving for AT next season
42:35 - 45:30; race footage (Mexico)
Episode 10: Red or Black
Teams: Mercedes x Ferrari; Aston Martin x McLaren
0 - 1:10; Charles in the Alps
1:10 - 1:30; Carlos working out
2:24 - 2:57; Red Bull and AT playing in the desert
4:40 - 5; Horner TW
5:30 - 7:30; Vegas opening ceremony
8 - 28 (pretty much); Vegas footage
29:05 - 29:33; Lando and Oscar
32 - 33; McLaren x Aston Martin
36:45 - 41:40; race footage (Abu Dhabi)4
44:32 - 44:34; Fred!
46:29 - 47:29; Red Bull and Horner TW
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hookhausenschips · 1 year
Text
Prompt List
Here are the prompts, if you need an idea for a request!
Angst
(1) “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.”
(2) "What is it about me that isn't good enough?"
(3) "Don't look at me like that." "Like what?" "Like you still love me."
(4) "I'm a fool for believing you meant what you said."
(5) "When did you stop loving me?"
(6) "Stop pretending that you care"
(7) "You deserve better"
(8) I don’t want to see you ever again”
(9) “Let me hold you for a bit longer”
(10) “No, don’t say that”
(11) “You promised, does that mean nothing to you?”
(12) “Don’t make this harder than it already is”
(13) “Don’t say goodbye, it only makes it worse”
(14) “I trusted you more than anyone else and you lied”
(15) “I’m done trying so hard for you to never even look in my direction”
(16) “You weaponised my kindness against me, and now you want to grovel for forgiveness?”
(17) “You know what? You can go shove that apology up your ass because I don’t want to hear any of it.”
(18) “So, what? This was all a game for you? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
(19) “Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t lie to me this whole fucking time, you fucking asshole!”
(20) “Are you crying because of them again?”
(21) “I gave you my all yet you couldn’t even give half of you to me.”
(22) "I won't let you humiliate me anymore."
(23) "The only thing I want back from this relationship is my sanity."
(24) "Cheating certainly wasn't the answer now was it?"
(25) "I would have done anything for you!"
(26) "Don't forget to pull the knife out of my back when you leave."
(27) “You've never looked at me like that before."
(28) "Please! Just give me one more chance."
(29) "I hope you find happiness, even if it's not with me."
(30) "I'll always be watching over you from a distance."
(31) "I don't think my heart can take watching you love someone else again."
(32) "After everything we've been through, you still don't think that I love you?"
Fluff
(33) "Keep smiling at me like that."
(34) "I'm not drunk enough for this."
(35) "Ihaven't seen (her/him/them) smile like that in ages."
(36) "You're everything I could've wanted and more."
(37) “That was kind of hot."
(38) "Home stopped being a place when you entered my life."
(39) "You come here often?" "Well considering I work here, yes."
(40)"You should probably go home." "But I'm already home."
(41) "Could you say that again?" "Were you not listening?" "No I was, I just like hearing your voice."
(42) "You make me feel at home"
(43) "Why are you wearing my sweater?" "Because it smells like you."
(44) "It's you, it always has been."
(45) “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now?"
(46) “We always hold hands, why are you acting weird?"
(47) "I'm so sick of watching you throw away your happiness for people who don't treasure it! I love you!"
(48) "I think I'm falling in love with you."
(49) "I'm pretty certain that you are the only thing that fills my head these days."
(50) "Oh, that smile — please never stop smiling.”
(51) "Go with me?" "As long as you hold my hand."
(52) "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"
(53) “Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooo." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"
(54) "OH you're jealous!"
(55) "He's/She’s so pretty I think I'm gonna faint."
(56) "Are you flirting with me?" "You finally noticed?"
(57) "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."
(58) "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"
(59) "You bought me flowers?" "Yeah, well I noticed you'd seemed kinda down, so I wanted to cheer you up."
(60) "Maybe if you stopped staring at them and actually talked to them, you might have a chance."
(61) "Why are you staring at me?" "Because I think you're beautiful."
(62) "The world gets a little brighter when you’re around."
(63) "They say we won't last." "Then lets prove them wrong."
(64) "You come here often?" "Well, I work here. So think I'd have to say 'yes'."
(65) "Aww, you're blushing. I like that look on you."
(66) softly smiling at each other from across the room
(67) reassuring touches
(68) leaning into the other person
(69) “ I was supposed to take a shower alone but sure, jump right in''
(70) catching each other undressing and very obviously checking each other's bodies out
(71) “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but that doesn’t mean I regret it one bit.”
(72) “Through both the good and the bad, I’ll always be here, by your side.”
(73) "I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?"
(74) "You can stay but your clothes must go."
(75) "S-Stop staring at me like that!"
(76) "I saw that. You just checked me out."
Smut
(77) Friends With Benefits
(78) squirting for the first time
(79) “I’m not sharing you with anybody. You’re mine, and mine only, and I’m going to make you remember that.”
(80) “Gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name.”
(81) “My God, you’re so fucking gorgeous like this.”
(82) Soft whines and whimpers; held back noises because they don’t want anyone else hearing them; a plea for more without the use of words.
(83) “Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now.”
(84) “Wanna hear you beg for it, yeah?”
(85) “Where do you want me to touch you?” “I don’t know and I don’t care — I just want your hands on me. Please.”
(86) “I wanna taste you on my lips again.”
(87) “Fuck, just touch me already! Just— just do something!” “Not so fast. We’ve still got the whole night/day ahead of us.”
(88) “Look at your reflection. Look at how gorgeous you are. So fucking gorgeous when I’m fucking you like this. So pretty for me, and only for me.”
(89) “You want to cum?” “Y-yes, I— please—” “Hm, but do you really deserve to?”
(90) “You look like a mess and I love it, because I’m the one who made you like this.”
(91) “Look at you, drooling over my thighs. You wanna ride them that bad?” “Y-yes please.”
(92) “Hands behind your back.”
(93) “You can take it, you’ve done it before.”
(94) “Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.”
(95) “It’s my thigh or nothing, I’m not helping you get off.”
(96) “ I don't bite, you know.. unless it's called for.”
(97) “WE SHOULD FUCK. like right now, right here. hard, fast. pin me down, kiss me hard, look me in the eyes and fuck me like you've never fucked someone before.”
(98) “your face would look better between my legs.”
(99) “excuse me for being too forward but your lips make me wonder what the rest of you would taste like.”
(100) “now spread your legs and try to tell me all about your day.”
(101) “now will you please sit on my face already?”
(102) “bite the pillow and ride it out, sweetheart."
(103) “quit whining. you'll get your turn.”
(104) “look at you, panting like a bitch in heat.”
(105) “babe, you need to stay hydrated if we're going to keep this fuck fest alive."
(106) “when i'm done with you, you won't even remember him/her.”
(107) "They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous."
(108) "Earn it!"
(109) "You're such a dirty girl/boy, of course this excites you."
(110) "Give me a show, babygirl/baby boy.”
(111) "You like it when we both fuck you at the same time, isn't that right, babygirl?"
(112) "You're so hot when you take charge."
(113) "You want me to record you?"
(114) "Have you always been this kinky?"
(115) "I found your dildo, you want to use it in front of me?”
(116) "Be careful, I don't want you to choke."
(117) "Fuck, I love it when you scream my name like that."
(118) "How do you feel about adding some toys to the mix of this?"
(119) "Would you want to make a private video for the two of us?"
(120) "Mmm that's right smile for the camera."
(121) "Put on a show for me."
(122) "Wow...you're easy to rile up."
(123) "Home is too far away. No one's going to see us here."
(124) "S-Stop staring at me like that!"
(125) "oh, look who's not wearing any underwear~"
(126) "Ah, ah. I didn't say you could touch me."
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rans-baby · 2 years
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Don't Forget Me
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tw // MDNI, implied sex (no explicit smut), angst, cheating, jealously, possessiveness
A leopard stalking its prey; that’s the analogy that could describe your current situation.
Imaushi Wakasa was a lot of things: rich, handsome, patient, fast, strong, and possessive as hell.
You could feel his glare burning into the back of your skull, but chose to ignore it (mistake number one). You decided to forego all the warnings that every bone in your body was screaming at you in favor of running your hand up along the poor stranger’s arm (mistake number two). You leaned in, giving the stranger a good peek of what was supposed to be his (and yup, mistake number three).
You would be a lot more worried if you hadn’t done this song and dance for the past year. He’d call you up when he was tired of his girlfriend’s bullshit, you’d fall into bed together, he’d run back to her, you’d get jealous and make him jealous in turn, and then you’d fuck it out. Rinse and repeat.
But this time you were really done, you swear.
Before you could finish your thought you felt someone squeeze your upper arm. “I’m gonna take my princess away, that alright with you?” his tone indicated there was no room for arguing. The stranger quickly put his hands up and walked away.
He dragged you to an abandoned room at the top of the club. “Do you like pissin’ me off?” he said with an angry tone. You couldn’t help but whisper what you thought would be your final words to him, “‘m done this time, just wanted to get your attention since this is the only way. But please don't forget me,” you said with tears collecting in your eyes.
He knew you’d always be available to him, that’s why he took advantage of you. He really thought this time would be no different, not knowing how wrong he was. “Whatever you say baby,” he said as he walked away.
Two weeks later, no response from you. He’d officially broken up with his girlfriend, realizing that if he was really in love with her, he wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.
You, however, were living your best life freed from the shackle known as Imaushi Wakasa. You’d been fucking around with strangers, going out with your friends, thriving at work, everything was perfect. Everything should’ve been perfect, so why wasn’t it? You knew the answer but refused to acknowledge it, along with the 49 missed calls and 128 unread texts.
It was late at night when you heard a knock on your door. You weren’t expecting anyone so you grabbed the nearest weapon which happened to be a decaying broom, but when you looked through the peephole you put it down. It was Waka, more specifically a soaking wet Waka. “What are you doing here?” you said with your hand on your hip and apprehension in your voice. He was the one whispering this time, “Just wanted to see you,” he said, voice trailing off into silence.
You both stood there for a minute, taking each other in before you sighed, “Come in, let me get you a towel.” He sat on the familiar old couch, the one where you guys had watched movies, fought, fucked, fell in love.
“I’m not going to be here long, I just wanted to let you know that I broke up with her because I love you. Like lame, write you letters, want to wake up beside you every day, use your shampoo because it’s better than mine, want to see you smile at any cost, love you. That’s all.” He stood up, prepared for your rejection. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to burst into tears, babbling about how much you missed him, “Couldn’t stop thinking about you and your stupid hair and your stupidly strong arms and your stupid laugh and your stupid kisses.”
You settled next to him on the couch, “But I need you to promise that you’ll never hurt me the way you have, ever again. You have to swear because I can’t take another heartbreak. Not by you.”
“Promise, it’s you and me against the world princess. I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.”
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adropofhumanity · 7 months
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Why Islamic community, Quran, Hadeeth always describe women as weak? I mean men nowadays will scream and jumps when there's cockroaches, bugs, whines if there's no food on table, complaints due sweats and heat or a bit hungry, using ayahs and hadeeth wrongly to boost their ego and forceful autonomy, and guilt tripping their wife so they can get second and more wives to make cheating acceptable etc. I wonder does it means even when men have weak imaan like that + easily got swayed by demon temptations, it means women are weaker? I see so much strong imaan, physical, economy and won't cheat on their spouse.
As a women, it feels like we are on lower class. This is actually the main reason I was a disbeliever.
alright my sister, before i answer i will advise you to understand that you will have to bear my answer with open mindedness. May Allāh reward you for your question and for your earnestness in understanding your religion.
islam never described women as "weak". the community, if it does, is at fault then.
"O humanity! Indeed, We created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may ˹get to˺ know one another. Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you. Allah is truly All-Knowing, All-Aware" ( 49:13 )
men and women are both human beings first and foremost. to Allāh, gender does not matter as much as it matters to man. to Him, only the "most righteous" matter.
God created man and woman just like He created, let's say for the sake of providing an example, fruits and vegetables. they are same but different. same in the way that homosapiens are, different in the manner that each has varied properties and benefits, like a man and a woman. just because one was created as a fruit does not make it any superior than its vegetable counterpart and vice versa.
what we do not realise, due to being blinded by corrupt ethics in our society, is that both genders are HONOURED by Allāh. if Allāh truly favoured a man over a woman, would He have chosen to honour both the genders? He would have clearly mentioned that men are the "preferred" ones and women are perhaps, for the sake of argument, "untouchables" to Him, which He did not.
men have specific characteristics. women too do. Allāh says in The Qur'ān, "— the male is not like the female—" ( 03:36 )
men are known for their physical strength. women are known for their emotional strength as well as their gentleness and their soft nature. just because our natures are soft does not imply that we are "weak".
women go through menstrual cycles, pregnancy, delivery, motherhood and breastfeeding. alongside, she takes care of her duties as a wife while healing from the changes in her body. we are stronger here than men. if Allāh would have found man to be stronger, He would have assigned him the responsibility of motherhood. did He? no. because a man is weak in this field. just like a woman is weak in the aspect of physical strength.
so our question then; do they both have strengths? yes. do they both have weaknesses? yes. can we then say that a man is more "stronger" than a woman? no, of course not, he has plenty of weaknesses too. why do i say this?
because Allāh mentioned clearly in His book, "— man was created weak." ( 04:26 ) which indicates that ALL PEOPLE WERE CREATED WEAK.
The Qur'ān and Ahadeeth have never described women as "weak". infact, on the contrary, they have described women to be strong and more than capable. i shall share with you links for the same so that you may know and realise how wonderfully powerful a woman can be and how we have stories in The Qur'ān and in the ahadeeth that prove that to us.
what we are facing today, by the way, has nothing to do with the fact that women are physically weak. it has to do with our ethics. our ethical and moral standards have grown weak. read this well. our ethical and moral standards have become weak. that is why perhaps some men have become cheap like that. islam gave women rights in an age when people used to bury their girl infants alive. islam would have not stopped that if its purpose was to ultimately breed men or side with them only.
i hope my answer has cleared your misconceptions. if not, you are free to bother me anytime.
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ailendolin · 2 years
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Whump Wednesday - 49 - BBC Ghosts
Title: One Day [AO3]
Characters: The Captain & Fanny, George Button, Lieutenant Havers
Prompt: Fanny and the Captain reconcile after the wedding - Prompt sent in by the lovely @viola-halogen.
A/N: This turned out to be a lot more introspective than I originally planned but I hope you like what I came up with 💙
Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.
Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.
————
One Day
“What made you change your mind?”
With a frown on her face, Fanny turn to face the Captain. “Hm?”
“The wedding,” he explained. “What made you change your mind about attending?”
“Oh,” Fanny said softly.
It was one thing for Thomas to acknowledge her change of heart but quite another when the Captain did it. Fanny was very well aware of his … inclinations. He had tried to hide it when he was alive but one had to have been blind to not see the longing looks he’d sent his fetching lieutenant whenever said lieutenant wasn’t looking at him or recognise the constant stammering and throat-clearing for what it was when he was. It had bothered her a lot less than she’d thought it would, given her personal experience with men like him. Fanny had often pondered why that was. She’d always figured it was because of his self-control – something she couldn’t help but admire. Or selflessness, rather, Fanny supposed, thinking back to the day the young lieutenant had left and a letter full of secrets had been buried in the ground instead of shared as it had been meant to.
It had also helped tremendously that the Captain had never made any advances whatsoever on any of the other male ghosts after his death. Fanny would have bet her favourite brooch on him becoming a fumbling mess over Thomas’s admittedly handsome looks or perhaps Humphrey’s noble intellect, yet the only thing on the Captain’s mind in those early days of his ghostly existence had been establishing a new routine and sense of normalcy for himself. It was something they’d all done when they died, each in their own ways, of course, until they eventually realised how pointless that was. The Captain had never stopped chasing that reminder of his life, though – had indeed found a kindred soul in Patrick only a few decades later.
Fanny used to believe that the Captain kept to his strict schedule to keep his mind off the feelings he secretly harboured for one of the other male ghosts but now she wasn’t so sure anymore. Over the last few months – perhaps even years – he had become noticeably less guarded around them. Every now and then he would let a comment slip that would raise eyebrows – Julian’s, especially, seemingly unaware of how revealing his words were. No one had ever called him out on it and Fanny definitely would not be the first to do so but it seemed his personal stance on his attraction to men had weakened over the years.
Hence his excitement for the two-brides-wedding.
Fanny couldn’t say how she would have reacted if the Captain had made peace with that part of himself before this day, let alone shared it with them. On the one hand, he was the closest thing she had ever had to a best friend. They were of similar mind and opinion on so many matters that she couldn’t help but gravitate towards him, even knowing a part of him was like that no-good husband of hers. But on the other hand, she wasn’t sure she would be able to stand being constantly reminded of all those vile things George had done right under her nose.
She paused suddenly; reflecting, wondering if those things George had done had truly been as vile as she’d always believed them to be. The cheating was, obviously, not to mention the part where he’d pushed her out of a window and murdered her but Fanny couldn’t deny that her talk with Humphrey had opened her eyes to a world she had purposely ignored before – a world where something as universal as love was dangerous, where its discovery led to terror and blind panic and sometimes, as Fanny could attest to, ended in death and tragedy. Perhaps, she thought reluctantly, she and George had not been so different after all. In the end, they had both been stuck in an unhappy marriage with no way out, albeit for different reasons. She had found comfort in her pets and, like the Captain, in a routine that prevented her eyes and hands from wandering where they were not meant to be. George, always weaker of mind, had eventually reached for what life had denied him: happiness, even if it was brief and stolen in precious short moments.
Could Fanny truly blame him for that? For wanting to feel the touch of someone who actually loved and desired him? For kissing lips that smiled into the caress and reciprocated it gladly? For no longer hiding a part of him that he couldn’t change anyway?
Even more importantly: could she blame the Captain for wanting the same?
The answer, in retrospect, seemed so clear that Fanny wanted to shake her head at herself: of course she couldn’t. Just like she couldn’t blame herself for all the times she’d cried herself to sleep in this large, empty house and wished for a better life, a simpler one that would let her utilise her mind instead of forcing it into obedient silence. It was not weakness at all that had driven George into other men’s arms, she realised; it had been courage. Courage to reach for something no one would understand; to defy society and make the most of a life that was so terribly short and be true to one’s self instead of hiding behind polite smiles and proper manners.
Fanny blinked against the sudden burning in her eyes. Even in death, she still hadn’t found that courage that had come so easily to George and the Captain was slowly discovering inside himself. She’d pretended so fiercely all her life to be less than what she was that she did not know how to be anything else anymore. What was there left if Lady Button was stripped away from her?
Nothing but a lonely woman.
That would have been her answer before her death. Now, though – now Fanny looked around the room and saw Thomas dancing, Humphrey softly singing along to the music, Mary and Robin bickering, Kitty smiling like the brightest star in the sky and Pat stopping Julian from wreaking havoc. She saw a group of people she had chosen just as little as she’d chosen George all those years ago, and yet unlike him, they had become her family. With them around, she did not have to fear loneliness, no matter if she chose to be Lady Button for the rest of her afterlife or decided to finally uncover Fanny after all these years.
A smile tugged at her lips as she turned towards the Captain. “I had a talk with Humphrey earlier. About marriage and free choice and how those things, or the lack of them rather, influenced our lives. It opened my eyes quite a bit, I have to admit.”
“Did it now?” There was a spark in the Captain’s eye – a spark that looked an awfully lot like repressed hope. Fanny’s chest tightened in sudden sympathy as she realised just how much her opinion must matter to him, especially on this issue.
She linked her arm with his and gently steered him out of the room with its music and dancing to a quieter area of the house.
“We have been friends for a very long time, haven’t we?” she began softly.
The Captain glanced at her, surprised, and cleared his throat. “I’d say so. Almost seventy years now.”
“A lifetime, for some,” Fanny said. “I dare say that’s long enough to know someone and find out whether or not they’re a good person at heart. I never had that time with George, and even if I had I don’t think it would have been enough, given that we never talked to each other. Not like we do.” She offered the Captain a small smile.
“But if we’d had, I’d like to think I would have learned to accept him the way he was – and maybe he would have learned not to see me as a threat but rather as an ally. We might have even found happiness in life – not together, perhaps, but with each other nonetheless. It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”
The Captain gazed past her out the window to the garden where he had buried so much more than military plans and mines a long time ago. “Do you really believe he would have confided in you?”
Fanny thought about that for a moment. “Under the right circumstances? Maybe.”
“And … you would not have minded that he had lied to you for years?” the Captain asked, looking anywhere but at her.
“No,” Fanny said softly, knowing they were no longer talking about George. “I would have felt honoured to have earned his trust.”
The muscles under her arm tensed and the Captain made a noise in the back of his throat that she couldn’t quite interpret. Then, at last, he turned towards her, and Fanny was relieved to see him smiling slightly. “We are very lucky to have you with us, Fanny. And so was your husband.”
It wasn’t quite the step forward Fanny had been hoping for but it was a step forward nonetheless. Deciding it was time to steer them back towards more familiar ground, she tugged at the Captain’s arm to lead him back to the ballroom.
“As I kept telling him!” she said. “Honestly, no other woman would have put up with all his nonsense – and managed to raise decent children on top of it! I’m telling you, he was–“
As she went on about her late husband, about all his many faults but that one, she slowly felt the Captain relax next to her.
One day, Fanny thought to herself as she looked at his kind face that had seen so much sorrow and so little acceptance from the world in its time. She hoped with all her heart that opening up to him about George was the first step in regaining his trust after she had trampled it so callously earlier that day with her behaviour, and countless times before that as well.
One day.
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hydesjackiespuddinpop · 6 months
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The Jackie argument…
I keep hearing common arguments about how the gang is SO awful to Jackie and how she should ditch them and blah blah. I read lots of fic with the gang being bashed for their ‘mistreatment’ of Jackie and I used to buy into that shit too. But now, I feel like this couldn’t be anymore wrong.
Kelso & Fez: These are the only ones I agree with. Granted Jackie wasn’t a saint, with her xenophobia towards Fez and her constant berating Kelso. But they were also really shitty to her too. Kelso keeps saying he’ll break up with Jackie but keeps stringing her along to buy stuff or because he likes having a gf. Not to mention Kelso constantly cheating on her. And Fez was just SUCH a pervert in the later seasons, and Jackie was a victim of his perviness (hiding in Jackie & Donna’s rooom). Don’t even get me started on the bs from “season 8”
Eric: Okay this one is such bullshit. Anyone who tells me that Eric is awful to Jackie is completely ignoring Jackie’s snide remarks about the kind of man Eric is. Also this scene and also she calls Eric Donna’s sister. Start from around 1:48-1:49. And Eric is still cool with her hanging on the basement. Like they’re both EQUALLY mean to each other, so to ONLY bring up Eric is such bs.
Donna: Here, here, and here
Hyde: This, I kind of agree with, ESPECIALLY in s7. But idk, they're both in their late teens/early twenties so I can cut them slack. Both make mistakes for sure and I will call them out. As for s8, it's ooc bs that I refuse to acknowledge.
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80s-reject · 7 months
Note
have some random numbers because brain cant hold anything in head it seems!!
76, 95, 82, 76, 71, 49, 52
76. if someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? yes, because everytime someone "liked" me when i was younger i had to hear it from someone else because most of the time they were joking
95. the list only goes up to 82!!!!
82. is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, but isn't around anymore? many people i guess, my grandmothers are the first ones i can think of but also my ex best friend
71. does it bother you when someone hides things from you? well it depends on what, like hiding that they're a criminal obv wouldnt fly but if someone is not ready to talk about something (family issues, sexual/gender identity etc.) then that's completely fine
49. how many people did you have feelings for in the year 2012 2022? only my darling wife esra
52. would ever take back someone that cheated? absolutely not. never nuh uh that's literally the one thing i can never forgive no matter how long ago it was or whatever happened if you deliberately went and cheated on someone you're a shit person
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izzy4davis · 8 months
Text
Chapter 2
Y/N POV Dinner ended and everyone headed to their dorms Prefects showed the first years around a bit. I entered my Dorm and changed into a comfy pair of PJs. "Hello, my favorite sister!" Samantha said as she dramatically entered the dorm with Pansy and Astoria walking in behind her talking quietly to each other. Pansy smiled and walked over to the bed next to me. "So. You and Zabini?" "What about us?" I asked her. "You like him." She says with a smile still on her face. "Who wouldn't like their friends," I say. "She didn't mean it like that silly," Astoria said as she was changing. "She means like like him more than a friend." Astoria continues. "I mean you two have gotten awfully close since the first year," Pansy says. I rolled my eyes "Like you and my sister?" I say back. "We will talk about those two another time but it's about you two right now. Please." "Fine," I say and I stopped what I was doing.
Draco's POV "Zabini! What's up with you and my sister." I say to him. "Which one?" He says back. "Y/N." "Oh, not much we're just close." He says unpacking the rest of his belongings. I roll my eyes "Yeah right I saw you two at dinner you think I haven't noticed you fancy my sister." "No, I don't." "Yes, you do its obvious. Many of us know this." "Screw of Malfoy," Blaise says. "No, you much rather screw Y/N" I sass back. "Shut up," Blaise says and throws a pillow at me.
Y/N POV "Why is liking someone so complicated," I say falling onto my bed. "I don't know people are complicated what can you do," Astoria says. "Can we go to bed I'm tired?" Samantha says. "Is that all you got out of this Sammy? Y/N is having a crisis right now." Pansy says. "Well don't get me wrong I was listening I'm just tired and it's not exactly a crisis if Y/N and Blaise are just being idiots and don't want to admit their feelings already." She says back. "Well I think all Sammy is trying to say is when you two if the possibility comes tell each other the truth and go from there," Astoria says. "Great talk night!" Samantha says as she turns off the lights "Samantha!" We yelled jokingly. "Oh shut up and go to bed, you idiots. I'm tired!"
Time Skip It was breakfast at the Great Hall and we were talking about our schedules. And joking about who was not going to make it through potions this year. "I'm most definitely not going to make it through positions this year," Samantha says. "We can all fail together," I say. "I mean we can cheat," Pansy says. "There is a charm on the quills so that can't happen," Samantha said. "Well damn, this year is gonna suck," Blaise says.
Time skip
The six of us walked down the steps that led to Hagrid's hut. "I can't wait to care for magical," Samantha said with excitement in her voice. "You're a total nerd, Sam," Draco says. "Am not." "Yes, you are. You and Granger are the only two people in this bloody school who like it here." He says back. "At least I'm passing my classes." "Hey, we are passing our classes," I stated. "That's a lie," Blaise says shaking his head. "We almost failed potions class last year." He adds. "But in our defense, potions is a hard class," I said. "Except for Sam," Astoria says. "Yes, thanks for all the answers," Pansy adds. "What would we do without you?" Draco exclaimed. "You would have failed," She says back with a smile. "M'lady," Blaise said to me as he held out his hand for me to grab on the last step. "What a gentleman," I said with a smile and grabbed his hand.
As we got closer we heard Hagrid saying "Come here come closer. Less talking if you don't mind. I got a real treat for you today. A great lesson follows me." We follow him a short while to this nice open area with nice green trees all around us. "Less chattering and form a group over there." He says and points to an open area. "And open your books to page 49." He adds before walking away. "And exactly how do we do that?" Draco asked him as he lifted up his book. "Just stroke the spine of course." He says to us as if it was obvious. With that, we all stroke the spine of our books. Well most of us. As we continue to walk we see Neville getting attacked by his book. Many of the students were laughing "Don't be such a wimp Longbottom." Blaise says as we walk by. "I think they are funny," Hermione says to Harry and Ron. "Oh yeah terribly funny," I say to her. "Really witty," Samantha adds. "God this place has gone to the dogs," Draco exclaims. Everything goes quiet and the trio turns our way. "Wait till our father hears that Dumbledore has this oaf teaching classes," Draco says slightly disgusted. This causes Goyal and Crabbe to laugh. "Shut up Malfoy," Harry says as he walks towards us. "Chose your next words carefully Potter. Those words might just be your last." I say. "Is that a threat Malfoy?" "No that's a promise." Draco smiled handed Samantha his bag and walked towards Harry. Draco looked up and pointed "Dementor! Dementor!" Harry and all the others turned quickly. This caused us to laugh and them and pull our hoods up over our heads on our robes and say ooh and have our hands out and wiggle our fingers. (I didn't know how to explain this scene lol.)
Hermione grabbed Harry and made a face at us before walking away. "You're supposed to stroke it." I hear Ron say as everyone starts to settle down and get ready for class to start.
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ohmymelon · 2 years
Text
Untitled
Pair: Sungchan x Reader
Type: oneshot/blurb?; angst?
Warnings: cheating, kinda dramatic..., wrote it on a road trip, math
Word Count: 2.2K
note: i wrote this months ago and it’s technically unfinished because it was supposed to be a full story but i lost interest and don’t know how to continue it. i’m so scared to post this, but i also try not to care that much um. also lmk if i missed any other warnings. 
“Well, no, 12/49 is rational. Remember, fractions are rational,” You explained.
“Shit, I knew that too. I’m totally failing this test,” Sungchan said, leaning back in his chair.
You sighed, “You need to trust yourself more, like you said, you knew it was rational. Come on, let’s work on the next problem.”
And that you would have done if it had not been for Jaehyun and Shotaro running into the room of the library you two were in calling your name.
“Y/n, there’s something you need to know,” Jaehyun said in between pants.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” You asked, giving them some water.
Shotaro pulled out his phone, “Haechan is cheating on you.” He pulled up a picture and video of said boy kissing and flirting with the school’s lead cheerleader, Lia.
“Wait, is that Lia?” Sungchan asks.
You began to shake, taking Shotaro’s phone from him. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” You say with a small laugh. You hand Shotaro his phone back.
“We just found out and we thought you should know,” Jaehyun said, “I’m sorry.”
You began to pack your bag. “Sungchan, can we finish this another time?” Tears began forming in your eyes.
“Yeah, of course, do you want me to walk you home?” Sungchan asked.
“Um,” you thought it over. You didn’t really want to be alone just yet. “Sure, that would be nice, actually.”
“Are you gonna be okay Y/n?” Shotaro asked, putting a hand on your shoulder. Jaehyun looked at you with a worried expression on his face.
“Thanks for letting me know guys.” You gave the two a small smile, the best one you could muster, and walked out with Sungchan just behind you.
As you wiped your tears Sungchan couldn’t help but feel bad. You had helped him so much and all he could think to do was walk you home. Which you had accepted, sure, but he feels as though it wasn’t enough. Also, fuck Haechan. He absolutely couldn’t believe someone would do that to you. Especially his own teammate. He couldn’t believe Lia could do that either. Truth be told he had a crush on Lia. He’s seeing her in a different light now.
“Are you okay?” You asked. “I know you like Lia, so you must be pretty bummed.”
Sungchan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could almost laugh. Even though you just got cheated on, all you could think of was others, absolutely bonkers bro.
“I don’t really care, to be honest. What about you? I mean, you just got cheated on.” He asked.
The tears came back, this time flowing down your face.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Sungchan began to panic. Enough to go for a hug? How do you help someone that just got cheated on?
“No, it’s fine,” you say between sobs. “I can walk myself home from here, you don’t have to stay.”
“Absolutely not, at least let me do this, please,” Sungchan asked. You managed a smile and thanked him.
You cleared your throat and he let go of you.
“Sorry, it’s the only thing I could think of that could maybe make you feel better,” he explained himself. You laughed at this as you kept walking.
“Sorry for cutting the session early today.”
“Hey, I’m supposed to be the idiot here,” Sungchan said, implying you’re being dumb, “It’s not like you were really in a place to tutoring anyways.” He smiled.
“Yeah, kind of hard to teach someone with something else on the mind,” you said, laughing a bit, “but don’t worry, next session is gonna be extra long.” Sungchan’s groan made you laugh even more.
“You don’t have to do all that.”
“This is my house,” you say when you’re phone buzzes. You grab your phone. It’s Haechan.
“Who is it?” Sungchan asks.
“Um,” you start, reading the message, “It’s Haechan. He’s asking me where I am.” Sungchan looks confused. “He normally walks me home after our sessions.”
Sungchan looked at you with soft eyes. “I don’t really want to get involved, but call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
After initially ignoring Haechan’s message, he sends you more. After ignoring the first call, he calls you more. This, however, was getting annoying to you, so you decide to answer.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He says through the phone, and you stay silent. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for 20 minutes. Where are you?”
“I’m home.” You replied.
“Home? What? I thought you were tutoring Sungchan. What happened?”
“Are you cheating on me?” The tears were coming back at the memory of the photos and video that Shotaro took.
“What? No, Lia and I are just friends,” Haechan said nervously.
“I never asked about anyone, Haechan. I can’t believe you.” Those tears began to fall down your face as your cheating boyfriend tried to explain himself.
“Y/n, come on, I would never cheat on you. Who told you that?”
You scoff at him, “Haechan, I saw pictures. Stop lying to me.”
“Y/n, I’m telling you I wouldn’t do that. It wasn’t me you saw. It was probably Johnny or something.”
“We both know that there's no way 3 people could confuse you with Johnny. We’re done Haechan.” You hung up the phone and began to sob at that point. Nothing was stopping the tears coming down your face.
He didn’t call you back after that. In fact, he publicly posted about his new girlfriend, Lia, all over his instagram. She’s pretty, you can’t lie, but that didn’t help in making you feel any better, so you decided to call your friend.
“Hey, Y/n, how are you feeling?” with that line from Shotaro, you sobbed harder. “Oh, Y/n, I’m sorry.”
“I can’t believe he cheated on me. And now he’s just flaunting her on instagram like I never even existed,” you cried.
“I know, honey, but this is what we’re gonna do, ok?” he began, waiting for some sound of approval for him to keep going. “You’re going to block him on everything you got, mkay? Then you’re gonna delete all your photos of you guys together, and I mean ALL of them. No exceptions.” You sniffled as you listened to him, beginning to do as he said.
“Ok, now what?” you asked.
“We’re gonna plan our revenge,” Shotaro said, mischeiviously.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Taro.” you say.
“Oh, come on, we’re still high school students, live a little.” he convinces.
“Well, what did you have in mind?” It couldn’t hurt to be curious, right?
“You have to make him jealous! Start dating someone else!” he suggested.
“Shotaro! That’s an even worse idea! I don’t want to date anyone, what the hell?” Apparently it did hurt to be curious.
“Well, not actually date anyone,” he laughed, “just like, fake dating. Make him regret cheating on you and want you back.”
You began to think it over. Thoughts of ‘Would what even work?’ and ‘Who would ever agree to that?’ filled your head. Having your friend on over the phone, you decided to voice those thoughts.
“Who would ever even agree to that? And even if someone did, how do you even know it would work?” you asked him.
“Y/n, I’m sure anyone would love to help you. You’re such a caring person, there’s gotta be at least 1 person that would be willing to do this for you.” Shotaro is such a good friend. So good in fact, that he was right. “And Haechan might’ve cheated on you, but he’s also a territorial asshole that probably doesn’t think you can move on. So, it’ll definitely work.”
“You might be right. I’ll think about it, thanks for cheering me up, Taro,” you tell him.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m the best,” he giggles, “get some sleep Y/n.”
“See you tomorrow,” with that, you hung up.
The next day came, going through it was hard. Normally you had Haechan to walk you to class, but now you see him in the halls with Lia and the rest of the cheer squad and you want to cry. Thankfully, you don’t, and Jaehyun even offered to walk you to some of your classes.
“He said what?” Jaehyun asked, walking with you.
“Yeah, he said I should try to make Haechan jealous by fake dating someone,” you snorted, “Ridiculous right?”
“Well, a bit. But knowing Haechan, it could work,” He said.
“You’re not seriously agreeing with Shotaro, are you?” Jaehyun just shrugged at your question.
You both got to your class, “I would ask Sungchan if I were you. He’s most likely to agree, considering he likes Lia and would maybe also want her attention. He also owes you for tutoring him. If it weren’t for you, he’d probably be off the team by now,” Jaehyun said.
“Hey! How could you say that about your own teammate?” you say, while Jaehyun just shrugs. You sigh, “Well, you might be right about him agreeing. I just don’t really know if I should do it. It seems like a plan bound to backfire somehow.”
“I think you’re overthinking it, Y/n. Don’t you have this class with Sungchan? Just ask him. If he says no then just don’t do it,” he suggests. “Anyway, I gotta run to class before I’m late. See ya!”
“See ya.” You walked into class and eye the aforementioned boy, walking to sit in your seat beside him.
“Hey, Y/n, how are you feeling?” he asked as you sat down.
You pulled your books out of your bag, “Definitely better than last night,” you started, “But, do you think you could help me with something?”
“Yeah, of course. Anything.”
“Well… I was on a call with Shotaro last night, and he suggested me do something to, I guess, ‘get back’ at Haechan.” Sungchan hums, “It’s really stupid, so you don’t have to say yes, but he said I should fake date someone, and the only person I thought would work was you. You know, cuz he was always been super weird about me tutoring you, so like, maybe it would work…” you continued to ramble.
Sungchan laughed, “Y/n, I did say ‘anything.’ I agree with Shotaro, it would definitely work to make him some kind of jealous.”
“Really? Again, you don’t have to.” you questioned.
“Yes, really,” he smiled, “How about, after school, we go to my house, or yours whichever you prefer, and we talk more about this?”
“Yeah, sounds good.” With that, you both tuned in to the lesson the teacher was giving.
“Do you want me to walk you to your next class? Might as well start early.” Sungchan asked, packing his bag.
“Yeah, as long as it’s not too out of your way. It’s the science building,” you smiled, zipping up your own.
Sungchan extended his hand to you and you laughed as you took it. The walk to your next class was uneventful, as you didn’t encounter your ex-boyfriend on the way.
“You have this class with Haechan right? Do you want me to kiss your forehead when we get there?” Sungchan asked.
You panicked, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Sungchan just smiled.
As you approached the door, Sungchan spoke up, “I’ll be back to pick you up, wait for me,” and he enveloped you in a hug that you quickly returned.
“Alright, see you then,” you smiled and walked inside, while Sungchan waves at you then walked away. You turned to see Haechan looking at you. An expression of surprise on his face.
‘Maybe this will work,’ you thought to yourself.
You guys decided on going to your house to talk about this plan, as well as the tutoring you were giving Sungchan.
“Are you hungry? My dad normally leaves food before leaving, I can make you a plate,” you tell Sungchan, as you opened the door of your house.
“Sure, I’ll have some,” he accepts.
“I can tutor you in the living room if you want. Just stay here, I’ll be right back,” you say as you depart to the kitchen fix yourself and Sungchan some food.
When you came back to the living room you see Sungchan still standing, a little awkwardly. “You can sit,” you laugh as you placed the plates down on the coffee table.
“Wow! It looks delicious!” Sungchan says. He takes a bite and his eyes go wide. “It’s so good! Your dad cooks really well!”
You laugh, “Yeah, he works as a head chef. I’d hope his food is good, for his job’s sake.” Sungchan laughs too.
“Oh that’s cool, I didn’t know that!” he says.
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Jung Sungchan,” you tell him.
“I guess you’re right,” he laughs.
“So,” you say after taking another bite, “about earlier.”
“Oh, right. Maybe we should establish some rules?” he suggests.
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decusses · 10 months
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𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕆ℂ 𝔻𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝔸𝕟 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨... 𝟟𝟘 ℚ𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤
here is a list of questions that anyone can ask toward your characters! whether it be canon characters or OCs, give it a try! :D just send a character or few and a set of numbers or couple! feel free to reblog and ask away~
also I got these questions from an rp site, credits to the OP, i just really wanted to come and share them because they're really nice questions. ^^
1. How would you describe your style? Do you keep up with the latest trends?
2. What is your preferred method of transportation?
3. What's your favorite color? How obsessed are you with it?
4. Would you consider yourself an animal person? Do you have any pets?
5. What would you do if your 'friend' insulted you?
6. Do you wear perfume? If not, how would you describe your scent?
7. What would you do if you caught your friend cheating on a test?
8. What's the quickest way to your heart?
9. Do you sleep on your back, on your side, like a log, etc.?
10. What is your fondest childhood memory?
11. Can you cook?
12. What's your favorite food?
13. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?
14. What's your ideal date?
15. What's the first thing you would buy if you won the lottery?
16. Can you hold your liquor?
17. If you had to give up one of your five senses, which would it be?
18. What do you think happens to someone's soul when they die?
19. What are three things you can't live without?
20. If you can get reincarnated as an animal, what would you choose to be?
21. What are you skilled at?
22. What's your favorite beverage?
23. How would you hide a body?
24. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
25. What's something you regret doing?
26. What's your favorite song?
27. Are you a team player or a lone wolf?
28. If you were the only one who could, would you save the life of someone you hated?
29. What are your pet peeves?
30. Have you ever been in an accident?
31. What are your parents like?
32. What is your favorite time of the year?
33. Do you have any bad habits?
34. What is your biggest fear?
35. Who is closest to you and why?
36. Would you consider yourself to be spiritual? Do you believe in a higher power?
37. Have you done much traveling? Is there any particular place you’d like to revisit?
38. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? The worst?
39. Who do you look up to?
40. What’s the most valuable thing you own?
41. What is the greatest extravagance you would allow yourself?
42. What does perfect happiness look like to you?
43. How empathetic are you?
44. Do you blow up at the smallest transgressions, or can you keep your calm even when someone blatantly disrespects you?
45. Do you have any notable markings and scars? What is the story behind them?
46. Are you a clean freak or do you make a mess wherever you go?
47. What kind of music do you like? Do you have a playlist?
48. What does a person have to do for you to instantly respect them?
49. What’s your biggest turn-off?
50. Describe yourself in one word.
51. Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?
52. Describe a memory that haunts you to this day.
53. What would you say is your fatal flaw?
54. What is something you currently feel passionate about?
55. On a scale of 1-10, how attractive do you think you are?
56. If you could choose, how would you like to die?
57. What is the most recent thing you have purchased?
58. List three things you have attempted to do but absolutely have no talent for.
59. Your closest friend–someone you greatly admire–just killed an innocent person. What do you do?
60. What is your worst personality trait?
61. What is your "tell" when you're lying?
62. How much of a crier are you? When was the last time you cried, and why?
63. How would you react if someone you don't know very well broke down crying?
64. Would you speed up or slow down at a yellow light?
65. Do you have any quirks that are second nature to you, but to others may seem a little strange?
66. What would you say is your catchphrase?
67. What is the best advice you have ever received?
68. How do you wind down after a long day?
69. How would you like to be remembered after you die?
70. What, in your opinion, is the worst way to die?
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Today in The Last Generation of the Roman Republic: courtroom shenanigans!
Trials usually served a political purpose: either a failed electoral candidate trying to prove his opponents had cheated, or an attempt by one faction to humiliate or weaken another faction.
The outcome of a trial depended a lot on the current balance of power. Jurors considered not only the evidence, or their personal feelings toward the defendant, but also about how conviction would affect the power of the Pompeians, the first triumvirate, the Clodians, Lucullus' allies, and other groups. If one group seemed to be getting too powerful, many jurors would vote in the opposite direction just because.
This could result in bizarre temporary alliances like Cato and Clodius both going after Milo, because Milo was an agent of Pompey; Cato hated Pompey and Clodius hated Milo.
It could also create about-faces in priorities, such as Cicero first executing the Catilinarians, then defending Publius Sulla, who was likely among the conspirators but also brother-in-law to Pompey.
Although bribery occurred, it probably wasn't much of a factor compared to current political sentiments.
Prosecutors often weren't expecting to win. The goal of a trial might be propaganda, not a conviction. The abortive attempt to prosecute Caesar in 58 falls into this category: everybody knew Caesar couldn't be prosecuted while proconsul of Gaul; it was more of a publicity stunt from the Catonians than anything else.
I am very, very curious what Gruen has to say about the "prosecution theory" which claims Caesar's fear of prosecution was a motivating factor for his invasion of Italy in 49. Gruen has noted that political trials were extremely common, but also that conviction for "big players" was very rare. Based on the "balance of power" principle, it's likely that if Caesar had gone to trial he would've been acquitted by senators fearing a Pompeian hegemony - assuming Caesar's immense popularity with the citizens didn't make a trial politically unfeasible in the first place.
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