#then when i DID want to post art again i felt like its been too long since i did and got all weirdly self conscious about it lol

[mildcicada]

Michael moment

#the magnus archives #tma #michael distortion #sorry i have not posted art in forever. at first i was just doing it bc it was all art purely for me that i did not want to post #then i got really into the feeling of not having to draw for the sake of posting and the idea of posting stuff felt like too much effort #then when i DID want to post art again i felt like its been too long since i did and got all weirdly self conscious about it lol #hashtag real #now i still feel all weirdly self conscious about my art again but no way to get rid of that except just posting stuff #until it feels normal to me again #its just sooo like ....for some reason my tma art is so for me only. #so for me ...... #NOW I feel weird ab posting stuff......feels too personal even when it literally isn't 🤔 #my art #described in alt text

[xamag-draws]

BBR thoughts 2024

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)

#my art #xam rambles #the black brick road of oz #long post #ohsees tag

[sabertoothwalrus]

hi !! just curious because i was looking at your adventure time episode guide and i love hearing other peoples adventure time takes !! how come you don't like finn's characterisation in together again?

I've talked about it before here and here!

But also I'm gonna say more and share some art I did in 2021 for a rewrite comic that I never got around to doing

So again to reiterate: Adventure Time is usually VERY good at making it feel like time passes, even when you're not watching. It's something about what they don't show that tells you everything you need to know.

Together Again did not do this.

It really really felt like they were avoiding showing Finn as an adult, as if they wanted to leave his post-show life ambiguous. Which, now that Fionna and Cake has shown us literally that, it makes Together Again feel even more wrong?? Like. imagine you have to pick a moment from your life that represents You™ the most. Together Again said that Finn, after living his whole life and dying as an old man, feels most represented by how he was at 17. I do not buy this. I am 25, and I cannot fathom identifying by my 17 year old self. I was a completely different person then, I was still cooking. I can imagine most people feel the same. And ok, so maybe Finn DOES for some reason feel stuck at 17? Explain to me why!! What needed to happen to him that made him feel that way?

And before you just say "it's because Jake died," there's still too much that was left out. How old was Finn when Jake died? What was Finn like, at that point? What else had they accomplished? What was he doing at the time that was on the forefront of his mind? Where/with who did they spend most of their time? Where were they living after the treehouse got destroyed?

It was like,,, it was like the story Together Again actually wanted to tell was about Finn's grief, and how poorly he copes, and how too much of his identity is tied to Having Jake, and how he struggles to move on. But that's not the story we got. I honestly think-- as interesting as it was-- everything with New Death and Tiffany and Lich just did a disservice to the focus, which was Finn trying to get over Jake.

I think Together Again should have gone like this:

Finn and Jake had always planned that whoever died first would wait in the dead world for the other to die so the two of them could reincarnate. Jake dies first. Jake would be able to "watch over" Finn as he lives the rest of his life, so Jake wouldn't miss Finn as much as vice versa, since he'd feel like he's still there with him. Eventually, Finn dies.

Finn's appearance would change with his emotional state. I thought it'd be interesting to show different phases of his life through the stages of grief.

There'd be a room where they could watch Finn's memories. Finn would walk Jake through the events of his life. We SEE exactly how Finn dealt with grief, with heartbreak, with love, with friends, with community. All the good and all the bad.

By the end of it, Finn is quiet. "Jake... when we reincarnate, will we.. lose all of this?" "Well, do you remember anything from any of your other past lives?" "No.. But that's the point. I don't want to forget you." Finn, despite their promise, despite Jake waiting for him all this time, declines reincarnating. He doesn't want to move on, because that would mean forgetting everything. He wants to say with Jake!! He JUST got Jake back!!

“What if— in the future— what if they forget about us? What if they don’t know about all the stuff we did?” We see Ooo in its current state. It’s changed, but it’s clearly been affected by the two of them. Every person they’ve saved, every civilization they helped build, every hero they’ve inspired. They’ve left their touch everywhere. “They’ll know,” Jake says with certainty. “We’ll know.” We see the future, with Shermy and Beth. We see the Finn Sword, and BMO with all their old belongings. Everything stays, but it still changes. Will happen, happening, happened. These have always been the themes of the show. They reincarnate, together.

#adventure time #together again #my art #finn the human #finn mertens #jake the dog #distant lands

[sizzleissues]

Its May.

Okay so this is in the same AU I had last year its just changed and evolved while also being the exact same. Except now I have 15,000 words of it written, like 7,000 words of planning and lore and hours upon hours of research that I will be pointedly ignoring. Will be posting more stuff this month about the AU and my hopes and dreams for it

Also slight art improvement check? I’ll put their original mermaid designs below the cut.

It’s Marinette as a mermaid and … its not Adrien or Chat Noir but a third worse thing (Catwalker but in the purest manifestation of it being a curse and not who he wants to be) I will be making designs for mer!Ladybug, and mer!Adrien as its own thing later on.

Okay if you want to indulge me look below the cut

Old mermaid designs first. I am going to be talking about my design thoughts, thoughts and ramblings about this AU and what I’ve been up to. You have been warned

As you can see, some things have changed but neither design I hated, I just wanted to go further with it.

My brain is quite specific about mermaids and how I want them to generally look. I wanted to distinguish biological merfolk from transformed humans by having them being anatomically different. So Adrien has a vertical tail instead which is also way faster underwater. His transformation is quite distressing for him and very chaotic. Of course when he accepts it he’s not so raggedy.

Marinette similarly avoids her life as a mermaid by becoming human and I wanted her mermaid design to hint toward her fascination with humans. She wears a top she fashioned from human fabric she found in a sunken merchant vessel. In general all other merfolk either forgo clothes or wear things fashioned from materials available to them. There’s deep fear of humans and human things so even though human clothes are available to them (off dead bodies but…. Whatever) they choose to difference themselves as much as possible. The same taboos don’t exist for them and their bodies are already adapted from the temperature of their environment. Adrien has stray bits of netting and seaweed on him because he’s not exactly the best at controlling his speed and often crash’s through fishing nets and patches of seaweed resulting in stuff being caught on him.

A lot of their designs are still being worked but I’ve definitely pushed them the right direction!

On to the AU. You might have seem me cryptically talk about something I’m writing the past few weeks. This is because it’s been in my brain since last May and been on and off writing it since then. I decided I’d talk about it once May came back around but and then when I finished writing it, start posting sneak peaks and more spoilery art until it was fully edited and I felt confident in it to post with an aim for it to finish posting once May rolled around again. Oh god.

It’s set in the late 1700s in a fictional version of France that’s actually fragmented over a bunch of islands. I have done more fashion research than I ever thought I’d do and in the end we will still be taking creative license but know I do know what they actually wore! I ALSO did a butt tonne of research about sailing ships and turns out they are super complicated and now I know too much and yet too little still about them. It should be super fun and action packed if I can manage. Have some really good scenes already in my head I know you’ll love. We’re already three ships battle deep and I’ve only written four chapters. (It chills out for a bit after that)

This is entirely self-indulgent by the way. I’m writing this for me, you guys are just a bonus. I literally don’t care as long as it satiates my rabid need for the fic that only lives in my brain at the moment. Saying that, I do want to put my best foot forward.

The next thing I will be posting for this is their human forms and more blabblerings about that. For I am insane and all.

#miraculous ladybug #sizzle sketches #miraculous #miraculous fanart #ml fanart #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #mermay #mermaid au #Ml art

[vin-taege]

How It Starts, How It Ends

summary: a series of pivotal moments in your relationship with Chishiya, pre and post-Borderlands.

genre: some fluff, heavy angst, established relationship

pairing: chishiya x art student!reader

words: 3.5k

warnings: major character death, hurt no comfort, depression, possible spoilers for S2

First Meeting

"Look at this cute beetle I found."

The small insect gently crawled up your pudgy hand as you held it out. The boy in front of you didn't seem too impressed, responding with only a blank stare. You had always seen him by himself during recess and felt bad that he had to eat alone daily. The other kids were either scared of his dad or thought he was weird—but you minded no such things.

"Those carry germs. Some species of them even hiss or bite," he deadpanned.

"But not this one," you pouted, nudging your hands closer to him. "Look, I think he wants to meet you."

Truly enough, the beetle was inching its way off your fingers, seemingly heading towards the stoic boy. He glanced at it before looking back at you, then he sighed. He didn't think he could get rid of you, so he'll entertain you for now.

"I'll pet it, but I'm not gonna hold it."

"Deal!" 

The way you beamed at him made him feel weird, like something was stirring in his chest. Interesting, he noted.

"I'm ___," you smiled, watching him swipe his finger back and forth the beetle's shell.

"I'm Chishiya."

   .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

First Date(ish)

"I'm about to implode."

Chishiya looked over your notes and let out a snort. Almost everything was highlighted and it all looked like one big splotch of spilled ink on paper. You ignored him, opting to rearrange your home-made flashcards instead. 

"Physics isn't that hard," he murmured.

"Yeah," you glared at him. "For you."

He chuckled again before getting shushed by someone sitting a shelf away from your table. This made you snicker, worry melting away for a split-second. "I don't get how you can grasp this so easily. The formulas all look the same and I don't know which one to use."

He hummed thoughtful before scooting his chair nearer you. "Just start by focusing on the question. Look at what variables they're giving you and at what's missing, then just match them up with the formula that fits."

"I know~ but—" you huffed. "It's a no-formula-card type of exam."

The way you pouted at him almost looked exactly like how you did all those years ago. You were his first—only—friend, and over time, him simply tolerating you had turned into him growing fond of you.

"How many formulas have you memorized?"

"Two, almost three."

"There's six right? Almost there," he gave you a genuinely encouraging smile.

You loved Chishiya for all his snark and cleverness, but you also loved how soft and supportive he can be when it comes to it. These were small moments you held near your heart, and you doubt you'll ever let them go.

He gently took the flashcards from your hands, tapping rhem on the table to align them. He moved a little so the blank sides were facing you and peered at you over the cards. "If you can get this all down by 5 pm, I'll buy you a snack."

"I want a box of macarons."

"I'll buy you a snack that I can afford."

"Deal!"

   .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

First Milestone

"How was your finals, doctor?"

A light blush bloomed across Chishiya's cheeks. You were a constant pillar of support for him in life, one he hadn't experienced before from anyone else. Since college had begun for the both of you, you were consistently waiting for him after every finals exam he had—a small strawberry cake roll ready in your hands as a reward for him. It became a tradition for the both of you, and even though Chishiya wasn't the best with words, you knew he was appreciative of your actions.

"I've been offered to intern," his voice was neutral, though you know he was at most pleased with himself with the way his eyes crinkled up. In his mind, however, he was more excited about the cake in his hands rather than the position.

"Holy shit?!" you wrapped your arms around his neck, careful not to squish the frosting. His breath hitched for a second, before he wrapped his free arm around you. He buried his face in your hair, lips quirking up as he shut his eyes to savor the moment. "I'm so proud of you, Chi."

The sunset was slowly trickling into the wide windows of the school hallways. Chishiya didn't expect to be in that laboratory for so long, and it was only now that he realized how long you must have waited. Reluctantly, he pulled away from you to see your face better. 

"Have you eaten yet? You might get an ulcer."

You chuckled lightly, "I've eaten lunch a few hours ago. I wanted us to have dinner together, but I've eaten some crackers while I was waiting."

"Crackers," he pressed his lips in disapproval. "Those aren't nutritious."

Lightly chuckling, you took his hand, leading him out of the building and soon, the campus. The weather was a bit chilly even though you had worn a jacket. Still, you were too stubborn to say anything. Fortunately, Chishiya read you like an open book. Without prompting, he took your hand in his.

"How was your finals? Did your prof like the color application?"

Your heart swelled up. You honestly didn't expect him to remember.

The final project your professor gave you for color theory was to pick an existing painting and evoke the opposite emotion of it by changing the colors and composition. It seemed easy enough, but it had stumped you since you wanted to pick just the perfect base.

The night you were finishing it, Chishiya stayed over at your apartment to "make sure you were eating"—an excuse for him to spend more time with you. He was adamant about getting you to sleep early for the sake of your circadian rhythm, and when he couldn't convince you, stayed up with you instead.

"He seemed to like it, thank god. The composition flowed well and he like that I used a tertiary color scheme."

"I told you the risk would pay off," he smirked.

"I know," you stuck your tongue out. "I should listen to my all-knowing boyfriend more."

Boyfriend. 

He loved it so much when you called him that. Until now he couldn't believe you were real, that what you had was real. He would give anything in the world to stay with you forever.

You passed by a ramen shop, stopping in your tracks to scan the bowls of steaming noodles in longing. You had badly wanted something to heat you up, but one glance at the prices shot down your hopes. 

"I'll treat you," he said softly. "You deserve it."

"But you're the one who got the internship," you pouted at him.

"I'll be treating myself too by buying myself good ramen," he raised an eyebrow, silently pleading that you'd just give in. "And you did treat me. You got me cake."

He raised the small box by the ribbons wrapped around it. When you stayed silent for a couple of seconds, he sighed. You were still stubborn about having to "owe" people things, especially if you felt like you "didn't earn it."

"Fine. I'll buy you ramen tonight and you can make it up to me by taking me to the cafe next week."

"Deal!" you gave in.

   .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

First Game

Your first game in the Borderlands already had you running for your life. It was a five of clubs called Cat and Mouse. Set in a large office building, you needed to find the four mice scattered all over the place and take their tail—the twist being that the "mice" were actually people donning masks and guns. Red bandanas were attached to their belts, the tails you needed to get.

Chishiya was just behind you, heavily breathing as he slid between the winding hallways of the game arena. His hands were still in his hoodie pockets, much to your dismay. You had told him it'll slow him down, but he just shrugged you off. 

"I know where the final mouse is."

The gunshots faded as you ran farther away from the main room. The two of you teamed up with a group of three other players, and Chishiya came up with the idea to lure the third mouse so you can ambush him.

You had seen another player holding a bandana, and by Chishiya's deductions, you only had another tail left to catch. "The gunshots stopped. We know that there's two mice either dead or incapacitated. Judging by how they seem to be on defense, I think there's only one left."

"Because it would be risky for the last one to come out," you murmured moreso to yourself, completing his thoughts.

He hummed in approval. "We need to find the other players to see if we can cover ground faster. Unless..."

He halted, staring straight down the dimly-lit hallway. You nervously looked around, readying the crowbar you held tightly in case anything were to pounce on you. Chishiya. 

"Maybe we shouldn't stop in the middle of the hallway," you chided him, though he was still deep in his thoughts.

Suddenly, his eyes lit up with a realization. "Unless the mice aren't on the floors."

You're gaze trailed up to the ceiling, landing on the thin slits marked on some parts. Chishiya grinned proudly. Your intelligence has once again made him fall impossible even deeper. 

"They're in the vents," you surmised. He nodded, looking at you in awe and love—as if you were God who came down from heaven to bless him, your devout worshipper.

"We need to tell the others so we can prepare another ambush then." You had considered going back to the main hall, but the other players might have left or been dead by then.

"Don't you want to rest first?" He asked teasingly. 

You snorted. "Shuntaro, we have—" you glanced at the phone, "—five minutes left."

He hummed, feigning contemplation. That name was reserved only for serious occasions, and he knew you were getting riled up. "How about this: we tell them now, but we let them do the handiwork."

This was a side of him that you dreaded seeing. His entire "pawns go first" philosophy bothered you—in fact, you were strongly against it. You didn't like how this place brought out the worst in him, how it brought out the coldness and slyness of his heart.

Yet here you were, unable to leave him. You knew that he was only doing it to protect you. He wanted you to go back together safely as much as you did, but he did it in his own ways.

You bit your lip, voice laced with hesitation.

"Deal."

   .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

First and Last Goodbye

The first game of the face cards round decimated what might as well be half of the players. 

During the first onslaught King of Spades, you and Chishiya got separated from Kuina, Arisu, and Usagi. The crowbar you had kept from your first game served its last purpose when you used it as a makeshift golf club to hit the grenade away from you. Just as you did, Chishiya dove and pulled you downwards with him to take cover.

You eyes were closed tightly, and the only things you could hear were the ringing in your ears and the beating of his heart. For a second, you swore you had died. Then the arms wrapped around you loosened, followed by a hand running through your hair.

"Are you okay?" Chishiya whispered. His eyebrows knit in worry. "We need to move. Now."

You nodded wordlessly. slowly and quietly rolling off him. Screams and the roar of a rifle were still audible near you, but seemingly moving in the opposite direction. He helped you up, giving you a quick scan to make sure you weren't heavily injured.

"We need to find a sparsely populated area," he spoke once he deemed the King was far enough. "Looks like he's going after large crowds."

"We can go to the edge of the city and follow the river. We're bound to hit a forest sooner or later," you suggested.

"That might take time." He looked your tired state. The bags under your eyes darkened and small scars littered all over your body. An almost empty backpack slung over your shoulder, looking almost as sad as you were.

He weighed out his options: what you suggested was the ideal choice, but you were in no condition for a long trek. Finally, he came to a decision. "But that'll work. We need to do a supply run first."

Was it risky still being in the city? Yes. Did he want you to starve? No. As a compromise, he steered clear of the shops on the main streets. Unfortunately, the smaller stores you ventured into were already looted, only expired goods left in the wreckage.

You could tell Chishiya was getting frustrated. His jaw clenched each time you failed to find food or water. His composure was starting to crack for the first time since you got here. You sidled next to him, slipping your hand into his. He relaxed a bit, though his lips were still pulled into a small grimace.

"We'll be okay," you offered him a small smile. He kissed you on the forehead, returning only a small hum in response.

After thirty more minutes of searching, the two of you finally stumbled upon a shack that had edible food. There were candies at the front, the strawberry ones catching your eye.

Grabbing a handful of them, you strode up to Chishiya. His back was turned to you, the blond busy searching through shelves of cup noodles and biscuits. You tapped him on the shoulder. 

"I got this for you," you brought up the candies like an offering. His eyes sparkled, and he couldn't help the grin that broke through his face. 

"Charming." It was supposed to be teasing, but it came out genuinely grateful. He turned the backpack he was filling up towards you so that you can drop the candies in.

He held it in place for a few seconds longer, looking at you as if he wanted something. You raised your eyebrow in question. He hesitated for a bit, before leaning forwards and connecting his lips with yours.

You reciprocated the kiss, pressing closer to him. The bag landed with a thud on the ground, him favoring pulling your waist closer instead. He was rarely the one who initiated physical affection, but it only took him a bit of prodding to follow through.

He broke away, only to look you in the eyes. "I'll take you home. I promise."

"We'll take us home," you gave him one last peck on the lips. 

For a moment, it felt normal again. It was just you and him against all odds. You were in your little bubble near the outskirts of town, safe from all the hurt.

Then the gunshots started again and they were scarily nearer this time.

Your eyes widened and Chishiya froze. You quickly picked up the bag while he slowly peered out the glass panes of the shop. The caped King was just down the road, a shotgun in his hands. He shot towards the inside of a shop, and Chishiya was certain he hit whoever his target was.

"That's not good," he muttered to himself. "___, run when I tell you to."

"I won't leave you," you snapped.

"I'll be right behind you. I promise." He gave you a reassuring look before peering out the shop window again. 

"Fucker must have tracked us." With the crowbar gone, you had only the small bomb Chishiya made for protection.

He took it out of the inside of his jacket, waiting until the King got close enough. Chishiya knew it wasn't enough to kill anyone, but it would buy you time. That's all that mattered to him.

The crunching of boots on gravel drew closer. Chishiya twisted one of the wires around his finger, ready to pull the activator. The King shot into another store, closer to the one you were in this time. He emptied the round and lowered his gun to reload. In one swift movement, Chishiya pulled on the wire and chucked it as hard as he can.

"Go!"

The two of you sprinted out the shop. The can clunked on the ground as it landed before splintering into pieces with a loud boom. Chishiya yelled after you.

"Don't look back!"

Yet you did, just in time to see the King dodge behind the doorframe. Just in time to see he had the now loaded gun pointed at Chishiya. 

In a split-second, you turned on your heel and pushed Chishiya into an alleyway, the bullet meant for him digging its way into your chest. 

The impact slammed you against the brick wall. There was ringing in your ears and your eyes were blurred by tears. When did you start crying?

Chishiya grabbed your upper body, dragging you deeper into the alley. You could see his lips moving. He was trying to tell you something but everything was so fuzzy.

With adrenaline pumping in his veins, he scooped you up, carrying you as he ran. There were footsteps following not far from him. Pushing his legs to go faster, he inched around the twisted alley, slinking in and out of connected rooms, running and running until he found a door to a semi-basement hidden behind tarps.

He forced it in with his shoulder, careful not to hit you. The room used to be for storage—construction items and dust filling the space. He slid behind a pile of wooden beams, gently setting you down. The surroundings outside settled, and he knew the gunman had lost you.

But god, the bloodbath before him was the scariest.

He'd seen this happen before. He's seen how pale a person could get after so much blood loss. He's seen how it becomes more evident with the lips, cheeks, the tips of your fingers. He's seen that faraway look, the one where he knew the person was starting to drift away.

He put both hands on your chest, putting pressure on the wound. Your blood leaked through your shirt, soaking his hands. Frantically, he took his hoodie off and pressed it against you too. 

"Don't die on me, ___. Please." He whispered, voice breaking.

His words brought you back, tearing your eyes away from the corner of cement bricks and bringing it back to his warm, brown ones. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. He's never cried before.

You tried to move your lips, only a croak escaping from your throat. "Chish..."

"Don't leave me, please. Please, ___."

A crimson puddle on the ground was growing at an alarming rate. He had no tools, no help. He was a doctor but he couldn't fucking save the only life that mattered to him. 

Shakily, he held you closer. His voice never sounded this gentle before. "Stay with me."

"C-candies. Eat well... okay?" Your voice was hoarse. The humid room felt colder now. "L-love you."

"We'll eat well together. We'll go back together, I promised you. I'll get you macarons and ramen and those paints you've always wanted, okay? Deal?" His voice was wavering. He tightened his grip on you, pressing your chest harder with his other hand. "Deal?"

You looked up at him with a sad smile. With the last bit of your strength, you brought your hand up and pressed it against his. He laced your fingers together.

"___?" He whispered, finally letting the tears fall. "Deal?" 

You didn't respond. You didn't get to hear him say he loved you too.

   .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

First Grief

One minute.

Landing in the Borderlands. Cat and Mouse. The Beach. The face cards. Losing you.

It all happened within a minute in the real world.

Chishiya made a promise to himself while he was in the Borderlands. When the candies would run out, he'd stop fighting. When the last traces of you would leave him, he'd join you. Yet by divine intervention, they lasted enough until he beat the King of Diamonds. Long enough until Arisu and Usagi cleared the final face card. 

And now here he was. Sitting on a hospital bed, knowing that he wouldn't find you anywhere in the hospital or the Earth for that matter. 

He hadn't spoken since, only nodding or shaking his head in response to the doctor's questions. As a doctor, he'd known he would've been pissed at a patient that acted like himself. But nothing mattered anymore.

"We found you holding this. Your fist was wrapped around it pretty tightly that we thought the blood had cut off," a nurse told him. She placed a singular piece of strawberry candy on his bedside table.

He looked at it with mixed feelings of remorse and dread. He waited for the nurse to leave the room. Wordlessly, he reached over to close the curtains separating him from a patient with burn injuries. He allowed himself to break down again that day.

When his wounds had recovered enough for him to stand, he found himself sitting in the garden area. The candy was still unopened, sitting on the oak table in front of him. A part of him still hoped that you'd join him out of nowhere. That he'll hear your voice like tinkling bells calling out to him.

"I promised," he thought to himself. How was he supposed to continue everything you've built without you? How was he supposed to go home and face all the things you've left behind?

He wanted to cry again. He wanted to tear his heart out so he'd stop the hurt. He wanted you back. He'd give anything.

The small buzz of wings pricked his ears. He lifted his hand a little, discovering a tiny beetle that had landed near him. He stared at it for a few seconds before gently nudging it with his finger.

It grasped his skin, spiky limbs crawling up his hand.

"___ would've loved you," he whispered.

#alice in borderland imagines #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya x reader #aib chishiya #aib imagines #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland x reader #alice in borderland #chishiya imagine #aib x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader #asks #requested

[utilitycaster]

@notstinglesstoo replied to your post “The thing is, and I haven't gotten a chance to...”:

I saw someone not long ago say cr has always felt like a product to them vs D20 feeling organic and I protected my peace but I did want to ask them if they were brain dead

​Oh man I wanted to address this at length because I feel this. My posts have been centered, again, specifically on published journalists picking Daggerheart aprt critically and applauding themselves for doing so despite it being within a couple of hours of its release and therefore any analysis is necessarily going to be based on at best, a skim, when they just as frequently will claim D20 seasons/Kollok are flawless works of genius based on only a partial read, but man D20's got a fandom problem too. (and all of the following comes with the caveat of "I really enjoy D20, and Dropout, and while we're at it WBN and NADDPod which both are half D20 Intrepid Heroes cast, and think Brennan is a particularly brilliant GM, and also it's obvious that the D20 and CR casts are on great terms, and wish the fandom for D20 were more welcoming and enjoyable because I feel it wasn't like this when I first started watching, as a CR fan, in late 2019 and has since curdled into something really weird and bad.")

The first point is the obvious one: technically speaking these are both products. These are performers doing an art form; it is also a portion of how they make their money with which they can buy goods and services. Believing that art is inauthentic when the artist gets paid and acknowledges that is a thing that happens is a fucking libertarian position at best. Like cool, you think only people who are independently wealthy by other means can make art, because it's not real labor, my kid could paint that, etc etc.

The second point is also pretty obvious. I have pushed back pretty hard on the "uwu CR is just watching friends! it's like we're in their living room" mentality among the fandom, which has decreased, thankfully, but like...it did in fact start organically as a private home game, and they decided, when invited, to make it A Show For An Audience. D20 was created on purpose as a show for an audience. This doesn't make it bad or fake - reread the previous paragraph - but in terms of "this is an group of people who really played D&D in this world together even before the cameras were rolling," Critical Role literally is that, and D20 is not.

I think beyond that...my biggest issues with the D20 fandom are first, the level of discourse is abominable. The tag is almost always just shrieking praise and the most surface-level readings possible. I keep bringing up the "Capitalism is the BBEG" mug but it genuinely sums up so much of how I feel; people who want their existing beliefs fed to them as surface-level no-nuance takes. I mean capitalism is fucking terrible but I do not need every work I watch to have a character turn to the camera and say "capitalism is bad" to enjoy myself, and indeed it makes it harder due to the lack of subtlety and grace. For all D20 fans complain about how unhealthily parasocial CR fans can be (and some can be), I find that a lot of the most unhealthily parasocial "how dare they BETRAY my TRUST by having a ship I don't like or not speaking up about every single societal ill" ex-CR fans move over to D20 and then pull the exact same shit; it simply doesn't get called out. Every time D20 fans are like "we don't want to become the CR fandom" it's like "your toxic positivity and unhealthy parasocial behavior exceeds the HEIGHT of what I've seen in CR; the main difference is that CR started in 2015 when D&D was still shaking off the raging bigot dudebros and so in the early days it acquired more of those fans, whereas by the time D20 came around the landscape of who played D&D and watched Actual Play had shifted wildly, and you need to judge September 2018 D20 fans in parallel to September 2018 CR fans, not September 2015 CR fans."

I also feel, and I alluded to this in the post about journalism, and other people have said this better than I have, but the pedestal people have put D20 on does feel like a single...not even misstep, but just, difficult choice that doesn't capitulate to the loudest fans will bring a good chunk of that fandom crashing to the ground. And that includes the journalists. For all the fans of CR can still be obsessed with the cast to an unhealthy degree? The cast and company have put up pretty strong boundaries and have not budged. D20 hasn't, and I think the second they do - and I think it will be for their benefit as a company and a channel - a big chunk of their most vitriolic CR-hating portion of the fandom will viciously turn on them.

#notstinglesstoo #nonrebloggable bc god it's hell week for me i know i've been shooting off opinions bc that is how i blow off steam #but like. i can't have this break containment i got shit to do

[selfindulgentpixies]

The hands that hold you

Part 7 of my SatoSugu x Gn!reader series is here! And yes it finally has an official name!

I'll put together a masterpost with links to all the parts and the title soon and have it linked in my pinned post. This is another soft chapter. There was more I was considering including but I really wanted to get this update out here. There's also art to go with it that will be at the end that you'll also be able to find on my art blog when I post it. For now enjoy a really fluffy chapter before things get rough again. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

CW: Reader is referred to with they/them pronouns, chan is sometimes attached to reader's name. Polyamory though that's part of why you're here i'm sure

------

It’s been roughly two weeks since the failed mission when you find yourself called into Yaga’s office. When you make your way in and sit in front of him he places a new ID in the middle of the desk and pushes it toward you. You blink at him in confusion before taking it. It’s just like your curren’t ID until you notice a key change. “Wait… I’m being promoted to second grade sorcerer?” You look at him, surprise pushing your eyebrows toward your hairline. 

Yaga sighs but then smiles. “After that last mission, despite it ending how it did, Suguru and Satoru recommended you for promotion. Apparently you managed to impress them which is uncommon for the two of them” 

You turn the ID in your hand before slipping into your pocket. “I suppose it is.” 

Your hand is in your pocket thumbing over your new ID as you walk. In theory you should be happy about the promotion but you wanted to be sure you actually deserved it. You weren't sure you did honestly. You wonder if you should text either of your boyfriends about it. Your boyfriends… you feel your face heat up and you stop walking and lean against the hallway wall. You were not used to being able to think of them that way yet. It was so new. It was also the source of your current worry of whether or not you actually deserve the promotion. It felt a little too much like nepotism that the two of them endorsed your rise in grade.

Suddenly someone’s arm is resting on your shoulder and you and you don’t even need to look to see who it is. “Goodmorning, Haibara-kun.” You smile. 

He leans forward with a grin. “Good morning! It’s good to finally see you up and out of bed.”Nanami and I were starting to wonder when you’d be joining us again. “

“You know how Yaga is about me. He honestly made me stay on bed rest longer than I needed to be. At least I think so.” You push off from the wall and from under Haibara’s arm. 

“It’s good he cares so much though. It’s better to be safe than sorry by going out into the field before you’re ready,” He reasons. 

“I suppose… but it was painfully boring. Especially when everyone else was busy. I hate staying still for so long. Even if it was kinda nice to catch up on playing games…” 

“You were playing harvest moon or drawing most of the time when Nanami and I would come in and visit.” 

“Speaking of.. Where is Nanami? Normally the two of you are like a set,” you prod despite knowing its potential to backfire. 

Hairbara hums. “I’m actually about to go meet him. There’s a new bakery opening up he wants to go to. Wait, I know! How about you go with me. He’ll want to see that you’re up and moving around too.” And oh no he’s looking at you with those excited puppy dog eyes and you can’t find it in you to say no. Besides, you'd missed hanging out with your friends. 

“Yeah okay, I’ll go with. As long as you don’t think Nanami will mind.” 

Haibara gives a lil cheer and gives you a thumbs up. “Like I said, he’ll be glad to see you up and on your feet again.” 

Which is how you found yourself in a cozy little bakery, decorated in warm and earthy tones. The smell of all sorts of baked goods floating through the air. “You know you didn’t have to pay for me, Nanami.” 

He gives a small huff, his bangs coming loose and falling in his face so he has to push them back. “It’s fine. Think of it as a ‘glad you’re doing better’ gift.. Or something.” 

Haibara pipes in. “See I told you he would be glad to see you.” 

“That you did,” you say with a small laugh.  

“Annnd now that you’re fully recovered, on the note of I told you so’s…” Haibara’s grin threatened to split his face.

“Oh no..” You feel your face heating already knowing what he’s going to say. 

“So you’re really dating both Geto-senpai and Gojo-senpai now? I knew they liked you!” 

You groan. “Yeah yeah, you were right and I was oblivious.” You pointedly take a bite of your sandwich to try and spare yourself from saying more on the topic. 

Nanami makes a small sound before speaking up. “I mean I get Geto-senpai but I’m surprised you like Gojo-senpai too. Is it just because they’re a package deal or-” You cut him off, a small flare of irritation sparking in your chest as well as another emotion you can’t quite place in the moment. 

You swallow your bite a lil too soon so you can interject. “I like them both.” 

It must be something in your tone or the look on your face, you’re not entirely sure, but Nanami rubs the back of his neck glancing away, suddenly looking abashed. “Sorry.” 

“It’s-” you sigh “It’s fine. Just.. Don’t insinuate that I shouldn’t like Satoru just as much as I like Suguru okay?” Your shoulders sag slightly.

Nanami nods and Haibara looks between the two of you with a bit of confusion.”Am I missing something?” 

You shake your head. “No everything is fine.” You pause. “Actually can I get your guy’s opinion on something?” 

Both of them look at you. “Of course!” “Sure…” 

You take your new ID out of your pocket and place it in the middle of the table. “I uh.. Got promoted. Apparently Suguru and Satoru made the recommendation. But it just feels kinda off since I’m dating them now. I’m not sure I actually deserve it-”

Nanami shakes his head. “I doubt that. Why would they recommend you for something that would put you in more danger if they didn’t think you could handle it?” 

You blink. You hadn’t thought of it that way. “I suppose that makes sense...” 

Nanami folds his hands on the table next to his half eaten lunch. “Think about it. Being a second grade means that you’ll not only take on harder missions but will also be sent on some solo. If I cared about someone I wouldn’t recommend them to do dangerous things they couldn't handle for what.. A pay raise? Clout? If they recommended you be promoted that means they think you deserve it and more importantly can handle it.” Haibara is nodding along enthusiastically as Nanami talks. 

You nod, your doubts about the situation lifting. “Yeah that.. Thanks, Nanami.” 

He shrugs. “Just telling you what makes the most sense.” 

“We should go do something to celebrate your promotion!”

“I mean we’re already out to eat…” You feel a bit bashful at the idea. “And Nanami-kun already paid for lunch for me because of my recovery.” 

“Well then I can like.. Pay for ice cream ooor… we could go to an arcade! We should do something before you start getting sent out more.”  Haibara suggests while giving you his best puppy dog eyes. 

You sigh and smile. Really how can you say no to those big brown eyes and that pout. Nobody had bigger golden retriever energy than your friend. “Yeah okay, we can go to an arcade and maybe get a treat after.” 

Haibara cheers and pumps a fist into the air. It draws the attention of other patrons and Nanami lowers his head looking a bit embarrassed but still has the slightest smile curling his lips. 

The arcade is all lights and chimes of game music, the chatter of teenagers filling the space. The three of you lose several hours there with even Nanami being full of his share of smiles and laughter. How often do the three of you get to just be young like this? Not often enough surely. Never enough.  The three of you are contemplating where to go for icecream when you spot the claw machine. It was a nicer one, charged a bit more than the others. That’s not what caught your attention about it though. 

You wander over to the machine and almost like they were meant for you to see there’s a white cat plush with a blue ribbon and a bunny that’s such a dark shade of purple it’s nearly black with a gold ribbon opposite it across the machine. You’re taking out your money without even thinking about it. 

Nanami cuts into your thoughts. “You know it’s probably rigged right? In some of these machines the claw only properly grips things after so many attempts before it resets.” 

You turn toward him with a pout. “I wanna try anyway.” 

The blonde boy lets out a sigh. He knows that look on your face. You’ve already decided to throw your money away at this machine to get whatever it was you were fixated on. “What are you gonna try to win anyway?” He raises a brow when you suddenly look away from him bashfully and focus on putting in your money. “Well?”

“It’s two things actually” Oh so they were probably gonna be here for it a bit. And then you point at the white cat with blue eyes and bow then towards a similar dark purple rabbit with a gold bow. 

He blinks slowly, gears turning in his brain leading him to a conclusion that Haibara voices. “They kinda remind me of Gojo and Geto-senpai!” 

The silence is deafening between the three of you as you duck your head and send the claw toward the cat, the machine making a low buzz with the movement. The claw lowers and grips the cat by the bow, it raises, the machine buzzes lowly as it’s brought toward the chute and dropped in. You quietly lean down and take it out, and you hide your face in it. 

“That’s exactly why you want them, isn’t it?” Haibara nudges your shoulder with a smile. At your slight nod he speaks again. “Well I think that’s super sweet of you.” 

You glance at him for a moment, he doesn’t seem like he’s making fun of you, though being Haibara he’s never made fun of you in a way that would actually hurt. Just light teasing. His smile is earnest and you decide he means it. You hold the cat plush out to him. “Can you hold this while I win the other one?” 

“Of course!” He takes the plush. He can understand why you wouldn’t want to set it down anywhere in here. It’s a pristine white. 

The rabbit is harder to get unfortunately. You manage to pick it up several times but the claw always loses its grip or your aim is just slightly off. It’s been a half hour of attempts and you’re low on change and the energy around you is getting increasingly gloomy. Nanami hates being right sometimes. Which is why he gently nudges you aside. 

“Here let me try for it.” He doesn’t look at you as he says this but he still catches how your face lights up out of the corner of his eye and can’t help but smile a little. 

When he gets the plush on the first try and successfully drops it down the chute he is not expecting you to jump up and hug him. His cheeks go pink and he stands rigid. “H-hey-” 

“Thank you thank thank you!” You chant as you hug him tight before letting go and dropping back down to retrieve the rabbit. Haibara is laughing at your antics and Nanami gives him a half hearted glare. Truly it was nice for them both to see you so excited after everything that had happened recently. You bounce on the balls of your feet and retrieve the cat plush from Haibara. “Sooo icecream?” 

The sky is painted in brilliant hues of oranges and pinks as you and the other two first years finish ascending the steps to jujutsu tech, the summer heat having only broken somewhat by the time the three of you had to make the climb. You and Haibara collapse shoulder to shoulder on the ground. Nanami looks at the two of you as if to say ‘really?’ even though his bangs are clinging to his face with sweat and his face is flushed. “I really hate these stupid stairs.” You say this and there’s multiple reasons why that’s the case but at the moment it’s because of how much worse they make the heat seem.

The three of you rest in silence for several minutes before you speak up. “Thanks a lot for today you guys.. I had a lot of fun.” You stand and brush yourself off. 

“Of course! We’ve all been so busy lately and you were stuck in bed so long we needed to get out and do something fun.” Haibara says as he hops to his feet. “Hopefully we’ll get a chance to do it again soon.” 

“Preferably without you throwing your money at a rigged machine next time.” Nanami prods but you can tell from his voice he’s only teasing you. You stick your tongue out at him and shortly after you part ways from them.

It’s only after you’ve showered and placed a gift each in Satoru’s and Suguru’s rooms that you finally flop into your bed dramatically. You were exhausted. Today was the most active you’d been able to be in two weeks. You wished that even one of your boyfriend’s were on campus so you could curl up with one of them but they’d both been being sent on back to back missions after those first couple days of your recovery. Summer really was a terrible time for sorcerers. It didn’t seem fair that the two of them were tossed right back into the field. 

You pout and roll onto your stomach. You only got to see either of them in passing when they’d stop in to check with you between missions so you could physically see they were both alright. Otherwise you’d just been texting or calling when they had the chance. 

You perk up slightly when you hear a knock at the door, and now that you’re looking for it you feel Satoru’s energy. “You can come in ‘toru.” you’ve hardly finished speaking before your door slides open and Satoru enters your mostly dark room. He closes your door as an afterthought before making his way to you. Before you say anything else he’s flopping all of his lanky weight on top of you. “Satoru, you're too big for this! Ahh! Did you just get out of the shower?!” You try very hard to squirm away from him.

He ignores your protests and squishes you against the bed, his hair dripping water onto your face and pillow as he kisses your cheek obnoxiously and laughs when you try to shove his face away. “Stooop at least go dry your hair off first!” 

“I don’t think I will~” he sing songs though there’s a slight tiredness to it. He squishes his cheek against yours, his wet hair rests against your face and pillow. 

“Satoruuuuuu” You draw out his name in a whine. 

He hums and props himself up on an elbow, just looking down at you with bright eyes. Even in the moonlight you can see he’s tired though. He sets something on your chest you hadn’t noticed him bring in before given how he’d immediately smothered you in his affection. “Found the gift you left for me.” 

You feel your cheeks heat slightly as you scoot to sit up, catching the plush cat before it can tumble off your chest. “Do you like it?” You worry that the gifts you got for Satoru and Suguru would be seen as too childish despite your earlier determination and enthusiasm to get the plush toys. 

Satoru begins to tangle his legs with yours and curl around you. “Of course. It means my sweet ___-chan is thinking of me while I’m gone.” He takes the plush cat and places it on the bed next to you as he drags you down. “It’s cute. Also liked the box of sweets you left with it.” 

“..Did you eat the sweets already, Satoru?’ 

“I was hungry when I got back…” 

You sigh heavily but smile a little. “Well, I’m glad you liked what I got for you.” you bask in his presence before you speak again. “Two things though, you’re going to make us both sick by laying in my bed with soaking wet hair, and two my bed really isn’t big enough for both of us. You’re going to fall over the edge and drag me with you.” 

“What a romantic way to go then. Falling to our doom tangled together,” His tone is dramatic but there’s a boyish grin splitting his features, teeth bright in the moonlight.  You swat him on the chest drawing an “Oof!” from him as well as a laugh. It makes warmth bloom in your chest. 

“I mean it. We should either go to your room or to Suguru’s room so we’re there when he gets back. Also let me dry your hair if you’re too tired to do it.” Because honestly you’re pretty sure that's why he hasn’t done it yet.

He hums, seemingly considering your suggestions. “I suppose.. “ He pecks your lips before disentangling himself from you. Really he’d never turn down a chance to have you take care of him, and you do take care of him. You direct him to your blow dryer and you spend the next stretch of time drying his hair into a cloud of fluff, gently running your fingers through the strands and massaging his scalp. When his weight settles heavy against your legs from his place sitting with crossed legs on the floor you wonder if he managed to doze off. You click off the dryer and set it aside, continuing to card your fingers through his hair. 

“You still with me?” Your voice is soft and filled with affection. 

He nods and then yawns. “Yeah I’m awake.” He tips his head back to smile at you tiredly. “You sure we can’t just sleep in here?” 

“My bed is way too small for you even if you were alone let alone with us both on it. So pick, your room or Suguru’s? I’m sure he’ll be glad to see us waiting for him even if he shoves us over to get in bed.”

Satoru huffs. “You mean shoves me. He’d never push you out of the way and you know it.” 

You smile. “I know.” You lean down and rest your chin on top of Satoru’s head. “So what’s the verdict?” 

“Suguru’s room is closer than mine,” he states sleepiness lacing his words. 

You nod before sitting up straight and giving him a nudge to get up. You don’t point out how the difference in distance isn’t that much. Satoru stands and turns toward you with a long and languid stretch, his t-shirt riding up to expose his stomach. You poke his stomach making his muscles jump. When he glances down at you with narrowed eyes you blink up at him innocently.

You know what he’s about to do so you quickly swipe the cat plush before darting around him to the door. Unfortunately for you in the time it takes you to open the door he’s got you and the two of you tumble into the hall with him viciously attacking your sides with tickles. You squeal and kick trying to escape. 

“And what are the two of you doing?” A tired voice yet still amused voice drifts over the two of you. 

You’re still wheezing with giggles when both you and Satoru look up to see Suguru standing in the hall with a towel and a set of clean clothes over his arm. One can only assume he was on his way to the showers. His hair is half free of its bun and on the side where his hair is falling loose his face is smeared with grime. 

“Suguru!” You cheer, or are you pleading for assistance? 

“They’re being punished for the most grievous of crimes.” Satoru says all too seriously as he lets his face fall to your soft stomach drawing a grunt out of you. 

“I poked his stomach while he was stretching.”

This makes the dark haired boy snort. “Guess you get to deal with the consequences then.” He says with a smile as he steps around the two of you. 

“Noooo Suguru! Save me-” You’re cut off by another fit of laughter as Satoru resumes his assault. 

Suguru throws you a wave over his shoulder, leaving you at Satoru’s mercy. Chuckling when after he turns a corner he hears Satoru yelp indignantly. “You bit me!” 

“I-I” you gasp and giggle. “-I couldn’t breathe!” is the last thing he hears before he’s out of earshot. 

—

When Suguru returns from his shower it’s to Satoru sprawled half on top of you across his bed while you sit up playing on your phone while propped up against his head board. Apparently Satoru had forgiven you for biting him if the way his face was pressed into your stomach was any indication. 

You stop what you’re doing to greet him. “Feeling any better after your shower?” You were glad to see there was only minimal irritation on his face where the grime had been.

Suguru makes a noise that you interpret as confirmation. His hair is half wrapped in a towel as he makes his way into the room. He’s going for his blow dryer. At least he intended to dry his hair before bed unlike someone. 

“Do you want me to do it?” You ask, you’re tired yourself but for fun reasons unlike either of your boyfriends. 

Satoru whines, surprisingly awake. “Nooo then you have to move if you do that.” 

“Or I can just sit on you,” Suguru says dryly. 

“You wouldn't.” 

“Oh I wouldn’t just like __-chan wouldn’t bite you.” 

Satoru turns his head and narrows his gaze at Suguru for a moment before making a grumpy sound and rolling off you so he’s no longer sprawled across you and the bed, allowing you to shuffle to the edge. You repeat a similar process to what you had with Satoru, though Suguru’s hair takes more time since it’s longer and because you work some product into his hair. You lean down and kiss the top of his head once you’re done. “All set.” 

Suguru turns on the floor and wraps his arms around your middle before pressing a kiss to your sternum. “Thank you,” the words are murmured gently against your sleep shirt and you card your finger through his hair. The soft moment is only somewhat broken by Satoru snoringloudly on the other side of the bed. Suguru rolls his eyes and then stands. He urges you toward the middle of the bed so he can flop in, slinging an arm across your middle. “You didn’t have to wait up for me, you know?”

“But I wanted to,” you half cut off at the end in a yawn. 

You think Suguru sighs before he presses a kiss to your hair. “You’re too sweet, you know that?” 

You hum sleepily, not confirming nor denying. “Did you see your gift when you got back?” 

“I did, it’s cute.” He smiles against your hair. 

“Not too kiddish of a gift?” you ask shyly. 

Suguru squeezes you with the arm he slung across you earlier. “Not at all. Definitely helps prove my point that you’re too sweet. Saw the stuffed cat too when you and Satoru were flailing around in the hall. So you got us matching gifts. Did you get yourself one?” 

You shake your head. “No, just for the two of you. I gave the machine enough money as it was.” 

“Hmm?”

“Ah, I uh won them from a claw machine game today while I was out with Nanami and Haibara. I got the cat pretty easy but you can ask Haibara and Nanami how well getting the rabbit went. Nanami felt so bad for me after a half hour of failed attempts that he actually won it…” you trail of embarrassed. You’re not sure why you admitted that. 

“Went to all that trouble to make sure I got a gift too.” He kisses your forehead and gives you a moment to react and close your eyes before kissing your eyelids, then gently kissing your lips which you reciprocate, smiling into the kiss.

“Of course, you deserve it.” You glance away from him and he feels warmth swell in his chest. He gives you another gentle kiss before shuffling down the bed slightly so he can lay his head on your chest above your heart, listening to how it beats rabbit quick at his actions. He falls asleep like that, not even caring that it leaves his feet partially hanging off the bed. You absently card your fingers through his soft hair as you lay there, waiting for sleep to take you as well.

Art by me of the stuffed animals reader won. My art account is @rossithepixie

___

And here it is! I hope you guys enjoyed this one. It was getting pretty long and I really wanted to get out the next chapter since it's been a couple weeks because I got too sick to write very much. I've already started on chapter 8 so hopefully as long as my health holds there won't be as much of a delay.

Tag list: @strawberrystepmom @nanamikentoseyebags @gojoest @icy-spicy @sleezzsister @moonsua1 @yuuuumii @yokaimoon @chibiizzy @porridgesblog @suhmie @defacatestenderly

#gn!reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #suguru geto x reader #jjk x reader #satosugu x reader #satoru gojo x reader x suguru geto #gojo x reader x geto #jjk x gn!reader #gojo x gn!reader #geto x gn!reader #rossi writes

[mooshywrites]

Old Dog, New Tricks

Masc!Reader x BG3 Women (Karlach, Lae’zel, Shadowheart)

Masterlist

Art commissions

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

A/N - My submission inbox shorted out, so I lost the prompt post! Basically, it was someone anonymous requesting a situation where an older tav didn’t know how to handle the Baldur’s Gate women flirting with him. If you were the one who sent in the post I’m sorry for losing the submission, but I hope you like the end result! <3

Warnings - Fluff

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

~ Karlach ~

“I can’t believe you’ve stayed alive this long, soldier.” Karlach explained, letting out a hearty laugh.

You chuckled alongside her, taking a swig of your canteen.”You and me both.”

The two of you had spent most of the evening up to this point talking and laughing just like this. Comparing battle stories, complaining about old aches and pains from injuries, just generally bonding over spending both of your lives wrapped up in various wars.

It was nice to have someone to relate to like this, even if you were decades more grey than the woman before you. What Karlach lacked in experience, she more than made up for in story-telling. You sat around a campfire with comrades just like this many times before, but no one ever held your attention quite as well as Karlach.

She was vivacious and loud, her tales winding and swelling with intense voices. She made you feel younger again, reminding you of the times when you were that 16 year old young man who slept under the stars and fought his way through the realm.

You two could bond over that, being brought into an adult’s battle and giving up your childhood because of it. Your heart ached a little when you thought how much she had probably missed in the way of being a normal kid. You knew how it had affected you.

Karlach’s voice ripped you from your thoughts and you glanced back at her. Her eyes were alight with excitement and she was holding her arm out, pointing to a jagged scar.

“I got this one doing something similar. Thought the little devil would rip my arm clean off, but they weren’t quite fast enough.” She gave you a wide smile, obviously proud of the mark.

You cleared your throat gruffly, making a show of pulling your sleeve up and over your weathered skin. Just above your elbow sat an angry smattering of scarring, the result of an unfortunate misstep from your encounter with a dragon.

“Oh, love,” You whispered lowly, putting on your own version of a story-teller’s voice. “I’ve looked the devil in the eye. It wasn’t fond enough of me to look back, but it did give me this pretty mark.”

Karlach reached out, gently running her fingers over the textured skin, her eyes wide with an odd sense of awe. You felt your cheeks heat and breath get caught in your throat from the contact. You tried to distract from the feeling with a cough, slightly embarrassed that something so small could have your heart fluttering so rapidly.

“Must have hurt” Karlach murmured.

You shrugged, afraid of opening your mouth and having clumsy attempts at flirty banter spill out. That didn’t stop your jaw from dropping at what she said next.

“I can kiss it better if you’d like.”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

~ Lae’zel ~

It had been quite a long day. Long enough where you wanted to sit against this giant oak tree for months just to recover. You ran a hand through your salt and pepper hair, trying to ignore the way dull pain wound its way through your muscles.

You were getting too old for this. Perhaps twenty years earlier, you could have done a journey like this with no issue, but now, you creaked like a door hinge that had never met oil in its life.

You hoped your companions hadn’t caught on to how the constant fighting affected you so.

Just as the thought crossed your mind, Lae’zel looked at you from across the camp. She narrowed her eyes, as if she was sizing up how exhausted you looked. Leave it to her to have the uncanny ability to read your mind without trying.

As she made her way over, she crossed her arms disapprovingly. “Don’t tell me the parasite is starting to dig its claws in you.” She hissed.

“Do mind layer worms even have claws?” You chucked and gave her a charming smile, hoping the joke would get her off your case. Lae’zel meant well, but you were absolutely certain that if you showed any weakness to her questioning, she’d gut you then and there.

Lae’zel’s eyes narrowed further, her lips drawn in a tight line. “Chk, answer the question before I rid you of the parasite with more permanent means.”

You sighed, stretching your shoulders. “No, it’s not the parasite, Lae’zel. Just an old goat far too past his prime to be saving the world.”

Lae’zel seemed to ponder your words before letting out a sigh, her shoulders relaxing. “Being old is a great feat. “If you were a Githyanki and lived as incredibly long as you have,it would simply mean you’re skilled enough in battle to not be defeated.”

“What do you mean ‘incredibly long’, Lae’zel?” You scoffed, “How old do you think I look?”

You secretly hoped she wouldn’t answer. You knew how your looks had fared over the years, your laugh lines deepening, well earned nicks and scars peppering your skin. You were proud of your age, proud of the way the years hadn’t affected you the way they affected most. But ‘incredibly’ long? Really?

Lae’zel took a moment to look you over once more. You felt heat crawl its way to your chest, feeling exposed under her careful gaze. It’s as if she was taking every single part of you into inventory to come to a decision.

“You do not look old to me.” Lae’zel answered, finally. “In fact, I might even call you dashing.”

You sputtered in surprise, not quite sure how to take the compliment. “You would?”

Lae’zel offered you a rare smile before turning on her heels, calling out over her shoulder as she left, “I said ‘might’ Istik. Do not let my words go to your head.”

You stared blankly in her direction, trying to work out what had just happened in the conversation.

’You know what?’, you thought, standing up and brushing yourself off.

‘Fighting monsters is so much less complicated than that woman.’

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

~ Shadowheart ~

It was a quiet evening when Shadowheart sat next to you, bottle of wine and two glasses in her hand. She sought out your company often, probably because you weren’t the most talkative person among your companions.

No, most of your ‘bonding’ time with Shadowheart was just sitting under the moonlight and sipping wine, only occasionally having comfortably short conversations.

It was the perfect way to unwind after a stressful day of fighting. Even still, you couldn’t help but notice how the talks had been growing longer as of late, not that you minded. Dusk was filled with hushed tones exchanged back and forth about likes and dislikes, little stories, questions about far away lands you had traveled to.

With Shadowheart’s memories gone, it was almost as if she wanted to explore all of yours instead. She knew so little about herself and was still fascinated to hear about you. It felt a bit alien at first, talking about yourself. But her curios gaze and pleading smile always won out in the end.

“So how old are you really?” Shadowheart asked plainly, still looking up into the night sky.

“Don’t you know it’s impolite to ask such a thing?” You scoffed, looking towards her.

Shadowheart shrugged as if the etiquette of the such a question meant absolutely nothing to her. “Quite old, then. For a human, I suppose.”

That quip earned a chuckle from you, the sound rumbling through your chest, “Old enough. I’ll be 48 or 49 summers this year. Can’t quite remember which.”

Shadowheart smiled gently, her eyes flitting to you. “As am I. Around there, anyways.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, your words tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them, “You’re much too beautiful to be as old as I am.”

You hadn’t meant the words flirtatiously. At least you thought you didn’t. It just seemed so far out of the realm of possibilities for her to have been on the earth as long as you had. You knew half elves aged much slower than humans, but when you looked at Shadowheart, she looked simply radient compared to you.

Shadowheart giggled, her voice clear and melodic. Her smile brought a blush over your face, as if you weren’t already embarrassed enough from your blunt statement.

“Well thank you for that.” Shadowheart teased. Her hand came up to rest against your cheek, her thumb running idly against the snowy white stubble across your jaw.

You froze, not knowing how to handle Shadowheart’s gentle touch nor the the way it made your chest feel as if it were going to explode. Instead, you just continued to look into her eyes, words trapped in your throat.

“I must admit,” She murmured, her voice soft. “You wear your age well.”

As you sat there, lost in her gaze as you tried to take in her words, it felt like the universe was playing some sort of joke on you. How could someone like Shadowheart be holding someone like you so gently? So warmly? So… lovingly?

You knew you weren’t the worst looking man this side of Baldur’s Gate, but you weren’t blind to how time had affected you. How the years deepened your laugh lines and weathered your skin. Shadowheart could have her choice of any lover, but here she sat. Looking at you with those emerald green eyes like you were the only one in the world.

Even if you couldn’t say the things you were thinking to Shadowheart, even if your life depended on it, something in her expression made you think she knew what you were feeling anyways.

As you fell deeper and deeper into her affectionate gaze, selfishly, you wished the moment would never end. That her touch would never leave you.

That the two of you could remain here in the quiet corner of camp, frozen in time forever.

#Karlach #laezel #shadowheart #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #baldurs gate 3 fanfiction #baldurs gate 3 fanfic #Karlach x reader #Karlach x tav #laezel x reader #laezel x tav #shadowheart x tav

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[factual-fantasy]

24 ASKS!! AAA THANK YALL SO MUCH THIS ONE WAS VERY FUN :}} ✨💖✨

Ah no worries about not understanding! I would prefer no fanart was drawn of my cookie ocs.. thank you for asking to double check though! :}}

(Post this ask is referencing)

I explain it all in this post! :00

:DD Thank you so much!! And yeah, I just didn't have the heart to keep Papyrus suffering 😭😭 as much as it really seems like I don't-- I do love Papyrus as a character. And I felt like he really deserved some kind of salvation after everything I put him through.. Also it'll make for some interesting dynamics in the group! Looking at Seam and Jevil.. 👀👀

Oh yeah, and poor Coconut. If I hadn't drawn angst of Octo already she wouldn't have been the subject this time! <XDD And thank you!! :DD I'm glad to hear that she's your favorite!! :}}

And yes! I always saw the other koopa kids- especially Ludwig- to be older than JR. Maybe its the bib-- and who knows! I tend to loop back around to old fandoms from time to time so I can see myself drawing the koopa kids again XDD

As for the Mario Movie,, shockingly enough I still haven't seen it. What can I say? I have some kind of problem upstairs I'm sure of it--

Though its interesting to hear that the movie blue shells are similar to mine! :0 And I'm honored to hear that you like my version more than the movies! :DD 💖💖

XD Its been a while since I've seen those movies. So I cant really remember much of Jack Sparrow.. but I trust that you are right! XD

@foxythefox11

XD If I do that Jangles will probably super bounce her into the sun-

And thank you! And hey, I'm sorry that you're not very confident in your artwork right now.. Just keep in mind, all it took for me was time. Your art will improve with time. Try your best to cut yourself some slack. Understand that you're still learning. We all are! Remember that your art will continue to improve if you just keep drawing!

I don't play it or know anything about it either <XDD but I'm glad you like them!! :}} ✨💖✨

(Post in question)

AWW! THAT SOUNDS ADORABLE!! 😭😭🥺💖

@solst1ce-sketches

@komikudikentalendo

Its actually the 3rd option. Usually when I'm in some kind of fandom I prefer my own AUs as opposed to others AUs or even canon. :00

That's probably becuase most of my AUs consist of removing things from canon I don't like and adding in random things that I do like-

@abaroo (Post in question)

AWWW THAT WOULD'A WORKED TOO THOUGH :(

I guess I was thinking that Frisk fully trusted Papyrus instantly. And so did not hesitate to give her cape to him 🥺💖

@natewithacake

ASKSAKSFDJ THANK YOU!! :DD MEGA HIGH FIVE VIBES FRFR!!

@skulls-and-cypresses (Post in question)

WHW- WAHG??? THAK YOU?? THANK YOU SO MUCH!! THAT'S SO KIND!! PROBABLY THE KINDEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID ABOUT THE WAY I DRAW PAPYRUS!! ME?? REPRESENT HIM PERFECTLY??? WAAAA THANK OU!!! 😭😭💖😭💖💖

THANK YOU!! THANK THANK THANK YOU!! FOR EVERYTHING!! 😭😭💖💙😭😭😭

@dementia27

Aww! How cute! That might work! :000 Why do I want one now- XDD

@khoiazo

Aw, I'm sorry! <XDD I don't mean to make you sad :(((

AND YOOO!!! Its Friday when I'm answering this but the Wednesday dude is welcome any day of the week! :DD

Yeah, both canon Jevil and Spamton would be pretty dangerous to have around XDD But out of the two I think original Spamton would be interesting.. 👀

Not really for the personality, because my Spamton's personality is actually a bit similar.. but more for the visual aspect. I headcannon that canon Spamton's body shrunk when he fell into an acid pool. My Spamton fell into an acid pool as well, but it didn't shrink him. It destroyed the structure of his body and elongated him. Making him much taller and extremely deformed..

Imagine the two of them standing side by side. Original Spam would be up to my Spams knee! <XD

@minnesotamedic186

Evil voice: ehhehghehe... noted... hehehghehee

@pythecyberguy

Me when someone compliments me on the characters design that I was least confident about:

(fr tho THANK YOU!! THAT MEANS A LOT TO MEEEE😭😭💖💖😭💖 )

@nunyabusiness459 (Post in question)

Whoopsies! <XDD (jk jk light hearted--)

SHE WOULD THO XDD

I wouldn't say near-death.. Spade King didn't want to kill Jevil. So any injuries he inflicted upon him were injuries he could recover from..

@beryl-shade

Yeah :( their value to him was that of a grain of sand..

@neo-metalscottic

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM!! :DDD

As for what kind of monsters they'd face,, I'm actually unsure- I haven't played either game and I don't know any of the lore or characters.. so I'm not sure what kinds of dangers the real cookie run pirates face.. :( But what I DO know is that Blue Beauty is their main form of protection.

She's not exactly threatening to a lot of creatures I'd imagine.. She is just a Mer-whale. No teeth or stingers to make her more intimidating.. But what she is, is huge. And incredibly strong. She's a real power house and uses tools and weapons the crew taught her how to use to defend herself. And I imagine with her thick blubber, it takes a really deep wound to actually hurt her. So she doesn't fear getting a couple scratches here and there.

When it comes to the other cookies, most everyone stands up and fights. Only a select few retreat to the lower decks to protect their goods or hide. Those likely being Ellie, she's too old for this crap- and Coco and Red, though don't be fooled! Coco can fight! She's just retreating with Red in order to protect him. Everyone else though is up there duking it out with who ever dares cross their ship! ⚔⚔

@lildiaperboyjake

Ah! Sorry for the late reply, this ask got buried--

I'd like to think Funtime Freddy would have a really hard time deciding on a favorite song. California girls, call me maybe,, wannabe?? But after a loooot of careful thinking, he'd pick all star by smash mouth XD

Hello hi yes this ask was sent weeks ago but then it got lost and buried but then revived in a way that I cant explain but my intended response was--

Awwww.. imagine her in tears after drawing a picture of a little girl she remembers. She holds the drawing up to the night sky, trembling.

"S-She dreamed of seeing the stars one day.." 💔

#my response #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #cookie run ocs #my ocs #undertale #deltarune #seam and jevil #fnaf sister location #papyrus #river person

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

#isa screams #long post #gif #flashing #i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG #I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange? #its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though #I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly #but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do #its a tricky thing #but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay #if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG #thanks if you read this! I appreciate it! #I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express. #But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak #And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right? #And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get #part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions #am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am #I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life. #But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)

[seeminglydark]

Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

#rj rambles #this is really long im sorry anon #i think my late comic blooming story is kinda important for people to hear #thankyou for giving me a reason to tell it

[ot3]

finishing up fionna and cake... overall it was a fun ride but i really don't think it worked structurally. 6/10 show. i didnt think this was gonna be a long post but apparently i've got some thoughts. sticking below the cut

this last episode is kind of underwhelming... theres a couple of parts in this ep where they just sit and explain to the camera how simon realized betty was constantly sacrificing her own desires for simon and how simon wanted to put on the crown because he thought he didn't deserve to live. and it's not like those are bad realization for the show to come to but the show has very clearly established that it's intended for a more adult audience than the original adventure time, and so this kind of writing just feels really condescending when not directed at literal children. like yeah we could have figured this out from the writing, but. you didn't have to just tell us

i also didn't vibe with scarab as a villain, he felt super arbitrary to me. like they needed Something to be forcing them to move between dimensions, but i feel like scarab was an extremely meh choice for that. he wasn't particularly funny or interesting enough as a character to get to be one of the only people who showed up in every episode. i honestly think it would have been better if the existential threat these characters were facing was more of a force than a character, because it was already running so tight on time anyway it didn't really have the space to develop a good villain.

gary and marshall's screentime was another thing that i felt like is a huge waste of space. them doing their whole meet cute bakery au romance is something that's funny on paper but it's not compelling on its own and the only slight interest it has comes from our pre-existing investment in marceline and bubblegum's much more interesting dynamic. it didn't add anything to the overall arc of the show and took up time that could have been used to deliver more solidly on the core premise.

fionna and cake themselves were really cute but i don't feel like fionna's arc was as strong as it could have been. like ohhh yay shes come to love her normal world with all its imperfections.... obviously thats where it was going the whole time and once again. its not like i mind that ending. i just feel like they didn't do anything interesting with it. her character doesn't get to learn and progress as much as she's just marching down a straight path that we all already knows where it leads. i wish they would have just called the show 'Simon' so i wouldn't have to feel so disappointed in this.

adventure time has always been on the cutting edge of bizarre stuff in animation so the biggest let down overall with this show is how much when you strip away the Adventure Time coating of surrealist visuals on top of it it just feels like any other middling adventure cartoon. it didn't lean enough into the episodic structure to benefit from that the way the original show did, and it was too beholden on the episodic structure to linger on any of the parts that were actually compelling.

overall, the show feels like pandering to the adventure time fanbase, but in kind of a lazy way. Compare this to the distant land specials which I think were pandering in an excellent way. im not anti pandering by any means. The whirlwind tour through universes and characters that lifetime adventure time fans will recognize tries to come off as a love letter to the series, but instead just comes off as the adventure time version of that 'rejected ready player one theme song' video. remember farmworld? remember prismo? remember the vampire king? remember shermy and beth? remember Up a Tree? like. yeah. i do remember. thanks. do you have anything to say about any of this stuff or - oh. no. just showing me. got it.

its not someting i think i'll ever rewatch but at just ten eps definitely worth one watch through. theres some really good fun to be had in it and the art is gorgeous all the way through, it just fails to come together into a successful complete work.

#fionna and cake spoilers #fionna and cake

[puffywiz]

Hiii I'm gonna be sentimental and reflective oops

I had a really tough time in art school and when I finally graduated in 2019 I was burnt out beyond belief. Then covid happened and I lost both my jobs, yadda yadda, I went back to online school and did like 85% of a library tech diploma. I was good at it too, but something just felt wrong. I started to want to draw again. I wanted to try following my dream of being a comic artist again, but it hurt and it was hard and it was scary.

I was getting somewhere with it last summer when I was fortunate enough to take some time off from my gallery job. I spent that time writing. I kept like, telling myself the break would be temporary, I'd go back to work and then just make my comic on the side. But when I did go back several things happened. My cat passed away and I got injured, and I spent last fall fighting through one of the most severe depressive episodes I've ever had. I couldn't even eat really, I was drinking a lot of protein shakes. I was so unhappy.

The thing that helped me get through that was reading TLT. When I did my first handful of doodles and came back to tumblr to post them for fun I really did not expect the response I got. I'd gotten a little bit of attention on my art years ago when I used to post DC fanart on here but I'd never gotten such sweet comments. As LAME as it sounds, I've really never felt seen as an artist. Like I said, art school was uhh (forgive the pun?) pretty harrowing lmao. And yeah, its fanart, but it brought me so much joy to bring other people joy.

TLT has such a welcoming fandom. I've been in other online spaces over the years that got so toxic and mean. For the last year I've been sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it hasn't. At least not in my circle. I think the nature of the story attracts people who see the beauty in difficult things. I think this fandom is made of people (queer people, unique and complicated people) who maybe haven't felt fully seen before either.

A year ago today I started reading Gideon The Ninth and I'm so grateful for that. I may be running out of steam on the fanart front for it lately (I've been drawing it for a year straight!) but it's always going to be a piece of media that means the world to me.

I quit online school and I quit my gallery job, and I know now that was the right choice. I'll figure things out, I'm doing seasonal work and illustration gigs and maybe I'll find something else to keep the lights on next year. My webcomic Tailwind is going to have its hard launch this winter and I'm so excited. I'm ready to share more of my heart and my world.

Anyway aaaaall this to say, thanks 🌱 

[xoxo-mylove]

Doubts and Talks

(Bruce Wayne x Reader, Batmom!Reader x Dick Grayson)

*EDITED*

Word count: 3,322

Synopsis: Dick Grayson loves it here at the manor. His new mom and dad always make him happy and his new mom always gives him snuggles, but what happens when he lets the words and opinions of others jeopardize his happiness.

Warnings: Angst, Lots of angst, self-doubt, self insecurities, fake friendships, MAJOR bruce and Dick fluff to make up for the angst lol

(*A/N:  Sorry for the late update its been sooooooo long, This story took me forever to complete because while I was first writing it i was in love with the plot and I had so many ideas but halfway through I was so discouraged in my writing and gave up. I came back to the story tweaking it and while editing it I came up with more ideas and knew even if I didn't like how I wrote the story I wanted to post more Batmom!reader again. So bare with me with the shitty writing lol I hope you guys like it <3  but I want to write more of Al Ghul!reader one-shots so leave ideas in the asks please :)))) btw more stuff will be added in the master lists!! Coming soon ya’ll promise <3) if some don’t know this story is inspired by a piece of fan art i posted! Unfortunately i dont know the artist but please, please, please if any of you do please msg me and let me know so i could leave credits ;))

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Dick Grayson was the happiest boy alive. He thinks it’s because of all the cookies he gets from Alfred.....Oh! Oh! AND AND all the snuggles he gets from his new mom and dad.

His new Mom and Dad. It was hard for him to call you and Bruce that but, you both made him feel better with your words and love you showed to him. He remembers when he called you mom for the first time, he remembers the look on your face and the bad feeling in his tummy when he felt happy about giving you that title.

But he also remembers running away and hiding from you. Becoming so consumed of guilt and crying for hours in his room. You ran after him after a while and told him all the things that made him feel better. 

“Calling me your mom dickie does not mean you're forgetting your mother. I know I didn’t personally know Mary honey, but I know that she was an extraordinary woman.” 

“You want to know why?” 

“why?” he remembers asking with pouting lips and teary eyes. “because she raised the most brave, smart, and most kindest boy I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You don't understand how happy I am that you would ever call me mom, but I want you to know that there is nothing to feel guilty about or sad about, I know your mother would be happy that you’ve found people who care and love you as much as your father and she did. I love you baby.” 

He remembered feeling like a weight being lifted off his shoulders after your guy’s talk.

He didn't feel guilt consume his tummy when he called you mom anymore and that made him feel a lot better. He also remembers the first time he called Bruce dad, he never seen the man smile harder in his life! It was so COOL! Bruce even took him out for ice cream TWICE that week! You weren’t too happy about that though...... But disregarding that! Dick Grayson was a very very happy boy and it would take a lot to bring down his mood.

If only he knew what would happen when he went to school tomorrow.

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Dick was having such a good dream. Alfred was feeding him all his favorite foods and deserts and his Mom was telling him nothing! It was heaven. Just as he was about to eat into another chocolate cake he feels his body being stirred awake, and just like that, his own paradise was gone and he opened his eyes to see you. 

“Honey it’s time to wake up.” he heard you say. He groaned and turned over on his stomach hoping that if he ignores you you’ll let him stay home. 

Just as he was gonna throw his cover over his eyes he hears you yell “Oh no you don’t mister!” and tortures him with tickles.

 “No! ah ha No!” *giggle*

“MOM!! St-” *giggle* 

“OKAY OKAY!” you stop your onslaught attack on him and instead choose to sit on the ground by his bed and laugh at him watching him catch his breath. He lets out a deep sigh and turns on his side to see you looking at him with those eyes. He immediately wants to go back to sleep. “Time to get ready honey. School time!”

 “UGHHH I don't want toooo!” he looks up at you with a pouty lip and faking his obviously phony tears “Can I please stay home mommy?” You let out a sigh and crouch down by his bed. Oh YEAH! It worked. 

He definitely didn’t think it would. 

“No.” he doesn't even have the chance to let out a gasp before his cover is being thrown off and he's in your arms in the air. He screaming and laughing, mostly complaining all the way down the stairs to kitchen where Alfred and Bruce are eating breakfast watching in amusement at his torture. 

You sit him down on the chair and kiss his cheek, even though he tries to dodge it and ruffle his hair. He watches you walk over to Dad and kiss his cheek and sit down digging into your breakfast.

Looking back in forth between the two of you and his dad he knew he couldn't let the topic of him staying home today go. He has to try ask Dad. He slowly gets off his chair and walks over to his chair. He notices his your eyes following him as he goes. “Dad” he looks at Bruce with that adorable face that he knows he has. You told him so. 

Bruce peers down at him over the newspaper “What’s up chum?” he puts down his newspaper and Dick knows he’s got him. “I want to stay home today.” 

“Oh yeah? Why's that?”

 “Well... If I stay home today then Alfred won’t have to pick me up from school, Instead Al could finally watch all his soaps on time!” 

“Master Dick!” ignoring Alfred’s embarrassed outburst “And I can keep mom company here so she isn't all alone while you got to work at WE” Dick knows his reasons are 110% reasonable, he knows his dad will say yes. The smug expression is clear on his face and it almost hurts Bruce to watch it fall almost.

 “No.”

 Dick swears he can hear an explosion going off five miles from here because WHAT! 

The shock is clear on his face because he hears his mom giggling. He whips his head towards you and gapes “MOM! stop laughing!” he can see your body shaking with laughter as you try to hide it. 

His attention is taken off of you when Bruce smooths his hair down and tilts his head towards him. “You can’t stay home bud.”

The world just ended he swears by it. 

“But why though?” he knows he’s being whiny but come on!

Bruce laughs at his obvious whiny tone and looks at you with a smile before turning back to face him. With a sympathetic look on his face he bends down to whisper something to Dick like he’s telling him a secret. 

“You know I would let you stay home if it wasn't for your mother” a cough interrupts their conversation and they both turn to see you glaring at Bruce with a blank expression on your face.

  Ahhh dad’s in trouble. Dad clears his throat and tries to smile at you and you just rolls your eyes and look at him. “And anyway hun I’m not going to be staying home today.” 

“Well, where are you going?” He asks confused, his mom almost never busy to hang out with him for entire day unless.......Oh. Oh, no, no, no!

“I’m going to work honey.” 

Dick knows the sadness on his face is evident because Bruce lays his hand on his back softly. “Yeah I'm having a meeting with the owners of the Gotham Theatre! They want me to help draw up some plans for a complete renovation. Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

You get really excited when you get these architect jobs (took me a while to learn how to say that word) 

You spend weeks drawing plans on that cool blue paper and creating sick model buildings on the computer in your study. Though he thinks it’s cool Dick doesn't really like when you get jobs because your always to busy to hangout with him, and between Dad going out all night for hours doing vigilante work (that he still won’t let me go out with him even though I know I'm ready!)

When you have a job you’re focused on Dick knows he won't see you for hours that day. 

“Sweetheart” You said sympathetically. You definitely noticed his face. You set your fork down on your plate and reached for his arms pulling him to your chest.

 “I know when I get jobs I get distracted with my work and trying to make it perfect but I promise you I'll manage my time better, okay?” Dick smiled at you because he knows that you’ll go through with it. “And all of us are going to a Gala this evening so I'll pick you up from school. Okay?” Dick could feel Dad’s eye roll from here. He hates those things, Dick particularly doesn't mind them! Especially because you like to brag about him and cmon, who doesn't love that! 

“Now that's over, I think someone needs to brush their teeth” you with a smile.

 You’re right Dick thinks.

 “Yeah Dad I wasn’t going to say anything but...” The loud giggles you two shared at Bruce’s annoyed face had Dick smiling the whole breakfast.

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Driving to school with Alfred is always one of the best parts of Dick’s morning. He has this thing where he knows once he starts talking he can't really stop and he loves when Alfred gives him those small but big worded answers in his British accent.

It really just eggs him on.

 “I mean I definitely don’t mind being Sasha’s friend and everything, but one of my bestest friends; Micheal doesn't like Sasha and I don't want him to be mad when he sees me hanging out with her at lunch.” he explains to Alfred.

“Sounds like you have yourself stuck in a difficult position Master Dick”

 “I know, it’s so exhausting” It really is.

“Oh yes, very strenuous work you endure.” 

“Totally Al.” Dick definitely doesn't know what strenuous means, he’ll ask you about it later. 

Pulling up to school Dick sees his friends Micheal and Sean waiting for him by the entrance. “Goodbye Master Dick I wish you a good day.” Running out of the car and runing to his friends. Dick stops and quickly runs back to the car and peaks his head back in, “Bye Al! have a good day!” and closes it. 

Running up to his friends he can't help but notice them whispering to themselves while laughing. Though once Dick comes into view, they hurriedly stop whispering into each others ears. That uncomfortable feeling in his stomach starts brewing. “Hey! Guys what’s up?” he asks smiling.

 “Hey, Dick we were just talking about the Gala.... our parents have us going to tonight” his friend Sean says.

“Oh yeah, my mom was talking to me about it today.” 

“Oh your mom huh?” snickers broke out between the two of them.

Whats so funny? 

 “yeah my mom.” he says while staring Micheal. It seems like their staring contest with each other had gone on too long because Sean mentions class starting soon.

Walking into school with his friends was definitely awkward. They finally made it to Mrs. Ortiz’s classroom and sit down in their seats. Dick has never been more grateful for assigned seating more than today, he definitely didn't want to be by either of them at that moment.

Mrs. Ortiz’s insistent need to call role everyday is annoying but whatever, it’s her class. “Shayla Valdez?”

“Here!”

“Richard John Wayne?”

“Here!”

Once Dick brings down his hand he hear puffs of laughter and snickers breaking out behind him. Swiveling his head around to see Micheal and Sean whispering with another group of boys while looking at him.

 Dick feels his jaw clench and his skin grow hot. Turning his head back to the front he tries to get through the class while fuming in his seat. He definitely should of stayed home.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

While walking down the hall to his next period Dick overhears Michael and Sean talking behind the corner with some other kid from his class. Slowing down his speed Dick hides behind the corner and decides to listen to their conversation 

“He should feel grateful!” He hears Michael speak with a nasty tone.

 “What do you mean grateful Mike?” A voice he recognizes as Bryan speaks 

“Living with Bruce and Y/N Wayne! You idiots, gods I feel bad for them. Taking in that charity case.”

 Charity case? Dick felt his stomach drop.

No, no, no, you and Bruce didn’t adopt him because they felt bad. They didn't adopt him out of pity. Right?

 Dick didn’t have much time to think about it before his friends started speaking again. “My mom was telling me that the only reason they adopted Dick was for the publicity. Oh woah me! My parents died, I need a new home! Please take care of me! The press eats it up and obviously Mr and Mrs. Wayne just use him because-” Dick didn't stick around for the rest. Feeling a stinging in his eyes. 

Stop crying!

 Stop being a baby!

He kept telling himself. Trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Dick could hear their laughs echoing of the hallways as he made his way quickly into his next class the long way, anything to avoid passing by them.

He just wanted go home.

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Once school ended Dick was sitting down on the bench waiting for you and he can't help but let the words of his friends consume his mind while waiting for you to show up.

Am I a charity case? A publicity stunt? I mean it would make sense. A rich couple taking in a sad little orphan. Probably got them a lot of praise from the public. No, no, Dick, Y/N and Bruce are your Mom and Dad.

They love you and they don't feel that way.

They don't.

 Unfortunately the feeling in his stomach didn't go away. The hurtful words from his friends earlier definitely affected his mood. So much so that when he saw your car come to view he couldn't help but feel sad all over again. It can't be all fake. Can it? 

Getting into the car you definitely noticed something was wrong. “Hi baby! How was school?” you happily asked, turning your body around to see him. 

Dick tried to smile he really did. “It was good mom”

 He saw the concern in your eyes start to build quickly at his unusual answer. The question you always asked when you pick him up always sent Dick into a long rant about everything he did at school, all the things he learned, and who he talked too. Yeah, Dick didn't know how he was going to get away with this.

 It was your favorite part of your day-listening to him talk about his. Then later at dinner when Dick told Bruce all about his day. So when he didn't go on his normal but adorable recount of his day, you could say you were instantly worried.

“You alright honey?” you ask hoping for a truthful answer this time.

 “Im fine..Y/N” You know the shock was clear on your face and instant glaze clouding your eyes was obvious. Taking in a deep breath you silently nodded and drove the both of you home.

Dick knew he messed up when he called you Y/N instead of mom, its just if it was all fake you obviously wouldn't mind. He kept telling himself but a small part of him in that moment wanted to hurt you. 

But the look on your face when he called you Y/N instead of mom would be something that would stay with him forever.

The way your face completely turned expressionless and you just nodded at him. Not yelled, or cried. You just nodded. Like it hurt too much to say anything. Dick just sat silently the entire ride home, fighting back tears and feeling the guilt almost swallow him whole.

 Once you stopped the car and he saw you let out a sigh. And look up at him in your rearview, he bolted. Running out the car and towards the manor he headed straight to his room, ignoring your calls for him to come back.

He ran past Bruce, barley hearing him ask what was wrong.

Running up the stairs and slamming the door Dick flopped on his bed and cried. Cried because he was hurting and crying because he knew he hurt his mom. 

Dick doesn't know how long he was crying for, hours? or merely minutes. But it felt like he was there in his room sobbing for a long time. 

A knock at his door stops the thoughts running wild and knew for a fact it wasn’t you. That thought alone hurt him.

 You always knock twice and then Dick always answers. No, it wasn't you behind that door. Further proving he hurt your feelings so bad that you didn't even want to see him. 

He’s the worst kid ever. 

“Dick? Can I come in?” 

Bruce? 

Oh no, Bruce was probably angry at him. Bruce is always angry at anybody who upsets you, he's seen it with crazy reporters to mean rich women at galas. The way he uses his batman stance and scary stare, Dick doesn't want him look at him like that. he doesn't think he can handle it. But he cant just leave him outside his door. He doesn't want another one of his parents to be sad because of him. 

“Yeah...you could come in” he says in a small voice.

The door opens and he sees Bruce’s head pop in catching his eyes. Dick feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest because of how nervous he is.

Approaching his bed Dick could see Bruce is nervous. Not as nervous as him but nervous.

It seems like Bruce could sense his unease because he gives Dick a gentle smile and and brings him into a hug.

Dick could feel the tension leave his shoulders and the nerves leave his body as he slumps into Bruce’s arms. He feels an instant set of tears building up and lets them trail silently down his cheeks.

 It’s like Bruce already knew what crisis was going through his mind moments before “The reason your mom isn’t in here isn't because she's mad, okay? We want you to know that.” 

Dick just nods into Bruces arms, hoping that's enough of an answer for him.

“We just want to know whats wrong? Can you tell me?” Bruce asks concerned.

 Dick feels like those are such loaded questions. Can you tell me? Whats wrong? What does Dick even say? He’s sad because he heard his friends talk about how you and Bruce just use him as a publicity stunt and you don't really love him and he can't help but believe it? Yeah, that makes total sense. Bruce would probably just think he’s a crybaby. Or even worse, it be true and he can’t even give Dick any reassurance. 

Yeah, so much worse.

 His silence to Bruces question must have gone on too long because he feels himself being taken out of the embrace and sees Bruce kneeling on the ground in-front of him. Looking up at him with no more nervousness as before but a determined a gentle face. A face that Dick knows means Bruce is going to stay here until Dick tells him whats wrong. “Whats wrong Dick? I know your mother is usually the one that consoles but if anything, you could always talk to me.” 

Maybe it’s the fact that Dick has stopped his crying, but he decides to tell Bruce what happened.

Clearing his throat trying to speak without the obvious sadness peeking through,”Today at school I heard some of my......friends talking” he says peering up at Bruce’s face.

He nods at Dick asking him to continue.”They.....they were saying that the reason you and Y/N adopted me was because—” 

“because what chum?”

“because of publicity.”

They could hear a pin drop because of the sudden silence that spread between them. Bruce look like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth trying to think of something to say. It made Dick nervous because what if it was actually true and Dick caught him in the act?

No, he couldn't handle that being the truth. He needs Bruce to tell him that's not it.

Bruce has finally regained his ability to speak back because he softly but firmly grabs Dick’s face in his hands and looks him in the eye.

“I have never. Ever had the intention of adopting you because of the good publicity it may have received Dick. Your mother and I never adopted you or chose to take you in out of pity, good publicity, or charity. We adopted you because I knew what it was like.”

Dick is crying now and can feel them trailing down his cheeks. The relief he feels is all consuming. He almost hits himself out of anger for even thinking it was true. Thinking that you and Bruce could EVER do that to him or be that kind of people.

“You knew what is was like?”

Bruce smiles at him wiping the tears of his face, “The pain of loosing your parents is something we have in common kid. I adopted you because I knew what you needed. I knew the path you would have taken if Y/N or me weren't there. You would’ve ended up like me. I need you to understand that it wasn't out of pity or charity. Y/N and I love you. We love you so much. Your mother will tell you the same thing when you tell her what’s wrong. Okay?”

Dicks almost inconsolable at this point nods his head and smiles, before he feels guilt. Guilt for assuming and possibly insulting Bruce and you. And before he can even open his mouth to give an apology, Bruce just shakes his head and whispers it’s all right. Rubbing his back he whispers you have nothing to apologize for to me. Okay?

They spend the rest of the afternoon there, just sitting in each others presence. All the talking and explanations have been done and finished with and now they were just sitting together feeling each others comfort.

Dick knows he’ll have to speak to you soon and apologize for running out the car leaving you sad. But for right now he feels content with Bruce’s words and knows that he has nothing to be scared of. Because you and Bruce are his Mom and Dad. 

Nothing will ever change that. Especially not some immature, jealous, fake friendly rich boys. Dick really needs to find some new friends once he gets back to school. 

..........

........

Hopefully Sasha!?

AHHHHHHH I hope you all enjoyed!!! i’m so glad i finally got this story out, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders <3 love you all lots!! Feedback is appreciated!

#batmom #dceu fandom #dceu fic #dick grayson x batmom!reader #bruce wayne x reader #batdad #bruce wayne is a good dad #good dad bruce wayne #Good dad bruce agenda #yella talks

[liaromancewriter]

Love Bites

Premise: Ethan and Cassie get a little carried away in their sex capades.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Mature – NSFW. Tropes: Public Places. Gala. Words: 2,325

A/N: This fic is for 2 anon prompt requests. Submission for @choicesprompts Smutember, prompt 10 (caught in the act); for @choicesseptemberchallenge2023 day 21 (kiss). I'm also using @choicesflashfics week 49, prompt 1 and 3 (in bold).

The glittering lights of the ballroom sparkled like stars in the painted ceiling above. Soft music from a string quartet tucked away in a little alcove mingled with the din of a crowd.

The conversations around the room jumped from stock market tips to the vagrancy of the global economy to an auction at Sotheby’s for a priceless piece of art.

Ethan Ramsey eavesdropped on the people behind him and wondered how priceless the artwork was given it was on auction, which, by its very definition, required one to put a price on an object.

He leaned against a column, sipping a passable Scotch, and watched his girlfriend work the room. Dr. Valentine could triage a level one emergency in the middle of the night, but Cassie Valentine was made for settings like this.

A designer gown that teased as much as it revealed, hair expertly styled and make-up that highlighted her green eyes and red lips. She blended in with Manhattan’s glitterati as if she belonged. But then again, this was her world as much as Edenbrook was.

Cassie could, and did, straddle two worlds with aplomb. Ethan envied that about her.

He could schmooze if absolutely pushed under the pain of death, but he always felt awkward doing it. Like he was wearing shoes two sizes too big.

Cassie wore a shimmering black dress with a sweetheart neckline that hugged her curves. Her arms were bare and cuffed with more diamonds. And when she moved, he spied glimpses of silky white thighs. Earlier this afternoon, those same legs had been locked around his ass.

A teardrop diamond pendant was framed between her cleavage, just below the dip at the base of her throat. It caught the glint of the chandeliers. He briefly lost himself in an erotic fantasy where his lips sucked deep at the sensitive spot on the side of her neck as her throaty cries echoed around him.

He smirked into his drink at the thought of crossing the carpeted floor, taking her in his arms and marking her in front of everyone. That would show them who she was going home with tonight.

Especially one of her exes who’d almost ruined the evening before it began with the lascivious way he stared at her breasts and hips. Ethan wanted to applaud when Cassie stared the other man down until he escaped with a flimsy excuse.

Ethan reflected that Asshole the Third, Max’s nickname for the other man, was well deserved.

“Thought I’d find you lurking in the corner,” Cassie said charmingly as she floated toward him on high heels, a champagne flute in one hand.

“Don’t blame me,” Ethan quipped with a wry grin. “Your brother deserted me for a sultry redhead. Or maybe it was the luscious brunette.”

Cassie’s brows knit in annoyance, and she turned around to look for Max in the crowded ballroom. She huffed when her search proved unsuccessful and turned back, moving closer. Her floral scent tantalized his senses, and he inhaled deeply, feeling lightheaded.

“You take my breath away every time I see you,” he murmured into her ear, lightly biting the edge of her earlobe. “My patience is wearing thin. Let’s get out of here.”

Cassie sipped her champagne and threw him an amused look above the rim of her glass.

“All in good time, babe,” she winked. “My mom would never forgive me if we left before the main event.”

Handing her empty glass to a passing server, Cassie nestled against him and hooked one arm around his back. She planted light kisses along his jawline, little nips and bites that she soothed with her tongue.

“I already thanked you earlier for accompanying me this weekend,” she said between kisses. “But I feel this sacrifice deserves an extra spicy reward.” She bit the corner of his lips. “If you’re up for a sexy dare, that is?”

Ethan’s ears perked up at the salacious proposition, and he met the challenge in her eyes with one of his own.

“I’m not the one protesting whenever I fuck you against my apartment’s windows,” he lowered his voice, the words deliberately crude to gauge how serious she was.

She scoffed but didn’t deny the accusation. With a quick glance around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, she placed a hand on his arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“Meet me in the corner cloakroom. Five minutes.”

Ethan blushed when he realized she was deadly serious. He watched her hips swing enticingly as she navigated the crowds toward the exit. Suddenly, his collar felt tight, and he tugged it away from his neck.

Anticipation had him practically panting. He started to follow Cassie when Max stepped into his path.

“Have you seen my sister?” he asked, glancing on either side before looking at Ethan, puzzled. “Your face is flushed. You okay?”

Ethan nodded, resisting the urge to tug at his collar again, and prayed the younger man wouldn’t press the issue.

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” Max said with a shrug, taking Ethan at his word. “Come on. He’s by the bar.”

Stuck, Ethan followed Max to the other side of the room. He glanced at the exit Cassie had taken and sincerely hoped she was still in the mood when he joined her.

Fifteen minutes later, he shifted anxiously on his feet, trapped between Max, the CEO of a new health center focused on diagnostics, and the curse of social niceties. The conversation with the other man was fascinating, and he would have been entirely present in any other circumstances. But not when his girlfriend was waiting to be fucked.

When his phone buzzed against his chest, he reached into the pocket and looked down at the screen. He didn’t need a Cypher to decode the three questions mark in Cassie’s text.

“I’m sorry,” he said apologetically at the two men before him. “This is important.” He indicated the phone in his hand, shading the screen from Max’s shrewd gaze. “I need to make a phone call.”

Ethan hastily escaped, his long strides covering the length of the ballroom, a man on a critical mission. He marched down the long hallway, ignoring the guests mingling in the relative quiet of the foyer.

The corner cloakroom wasn’t being used for the event, and the window was shuttered. It looked dark and deserted.

Figuring Cassie had given up on him and returned to the gala, Ethan started to turn away when a hand grabbed him from behind and pulled him into the darkened room.

“Finally!” Cassie muttered. He could hear the pout in her voice. “I thought I was going to have to handle things myself.”

It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dim lighting from the hall coming through the wooden slats of the roll-up window.

“Blame your brother,” Ethan grunted, his hands rough as he gripped her elbows and lifted her against the wall.

“You seem to be blaming Max for many things today,” Cassie said, exasperated.

“Scold me later,” he said, covering her body with his.

His mouth descended upon hers, swallowing whatever Cassie was about to say. His lips coaxed hers open to the thrust of his tongue, desperate in his need for her. With a moan, she pressed against him, her fingers digging into his hips.

Their breathing became labored as their kisses became greedy, hungry and ravenous. Cassie sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, lightly catching it between her teeth. It stung, and he tasted blood.

Ethan cupped her jaw in one hand, gripping it tight to hold her in place, and lowered his mouth to kiss the dip at the base of her throat. He cuffed her wrists in one hand and raised her arms, keeping them flush against the wall. The movement thrust her cleavage out.

Recalling his earlier fantasy, Ethan pushed the top of her dress down and buried his face between her naked breasts. He savored the sexy sounds she uttered as he licked and sucked her nipples, biting the edge just enough for her desire-filled eyes to snap open.

He could feel the tremors coursing through her body and released her hands. He reached under the skirt of her dress to grip her ass, lifting her hips until she locked her legs around his thighs. The fabric of her dress draped over his arms as he shoved the skirt away and stared heatedly at the lacy triangle covering her crotch.

Cassie’s fingers fumbled with his belt, unbuckling it and unzipping him. She thrust her hands inside his underwear to cup him. Her fingers gently wrapped around his thick length and released him from his pants, pumping once, twice, and stroking the tip with her thumb. He rocked himself, sliding into her grasp, grunting his need as words failed him.

He nibbled kisses along Cassie’s jaw and down her throat. Below, his fingers stroked her core, teasing the tender folds. His thumb pressed against the top of her sex, and she squirmed, her hands falling to the side.

“Please, please, please,” she begged, rubbing against him.

Ethan sucked hard on the tendon in her neck, his teeth scraping the sensitive skin, and she jumped.

“Stop!” Cassie pushed him back as she slapped a hand where his lips had been.

Ethan shook his head to clear the haze of lust clouding his mind. He saw tears prick the corner of her eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“Let me look,” he said gently and removed her hand. “Crap.”

“Double crap,” Cassie said with a dismayed glance.

They stared at the redness on her neck from the hickey and the light impressions of his teeth around its edges. He remembered thinking earlier how he’d like to mark her. But it had been an idle thought. He’d never want to embarrass her in front of her family.

“Ethan, I can’t go back to the gala looking like this,” she cried out, almost in tears.

“I’m sorry, love,” he said, placing his palm along the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheekbones. “I got carried away.”

“We both did,” Cassie said, sighing deeply. “What are we going to do?”

Ethan started to respond, but Cassie shushed him.

They heard voices outside and stared in alarm at the unlocked door. They tried to scramble apart while tugging at the bodice of Cassie’s dress, but the door suddenly swung inward before they could do anything.

For a second, light from the hallway shone directly on their tangled bodies and then two people appeared in the doorway. They wore the hotel uniform and had a rolling coat rack behind them. He didn’t recognize the man, but the woman had been manning the other cloakroom when they arrived.

Ethan pressed himself against Cassie’s front to protect her modesty, but it was obvious from the shocked looks on their faces that they’d gotten quite an eyeful. He realized then that Cassie wasn’t the only one exposed. His dick hung out from the opening in his dress pants.

“Shut the door,” Ethan barked when the pair remained frozen in the doorway.

His shout seemed to do the trick as the two workers hurriedly slammed the door shut.

“Wow. You put the fear of Doctor Ramsey in them,” Cassie said, giggling.

She adjusted the bodice of her dress, shaking the folds of her skirt to remove any creases. Ethan smiled ruefully and tucked himself away, gently zipping up and buckling his belt.

His eyes darkened as they fell on the love bite.

“Do you want to head back to the hotel?” he asked, peering intently at her.

“We can’t,” she reminded him, pushing herself off the wall. “Let me think.”

She started pacing the small space, seemingly in a conversation with herself. Ethan wanted to interrupt, but he knew her well enough by now to not do that.

“Okay, I have a solution,” Cassie said, folding her arms in front of her. “I checked my shawl into the cloakroom when we arrived. I can wrap that around my neck and shoulders. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them I’m cold. Max will suspect something’s up but won’t say anything.”

“Let’s go get your shawl,” Ethan said with a nod to indicate his agreement with the plan. “Facing that cloakroom attendant again can’t be any more embarrassing than what already transpired.”

“Oh, no, Dr. Ramsey,” Cassie said with a tsk, moving away from Ethan. “You gave me the hickey. Ergo, you’re going to get my shawl while I wait here. I’m not stepping foot outside this room until I’m presentable.”

Marching down the hallway to do as she demanded, Ethan grumbled internally that it was her idea to make out in the empty cloakroom. But, he reasoned, they wouldn’t need to cover up if he hadn’t lost control. So, he owed her.

He and the attendant avoided eye contact during the entire interaction, and Ethan wondered what had happened to his once-sedate life.

The old him would have never been in this situation, pretending the woman across from him hadn’t just caught him ravishing his girlfriend in public with a few hundred esteemed guests mingling close enough to hear but for the music.

Later, he escorted Cassie back to the ballroom, the shawl firmly ensconced around her neck. It looked strange, given the circumstances, but they had no choice.

“Hey, where have you guys been?” Max called out from a short distance away, clearly on the lookout for them.

Cassie kept a straight face as her brother started toward them. She glanced sideways at Ethan, and they shared a conspiratorial wink.

Ethan grinned wickedly as Cassie walked over to meet Max in the middle. A sedate life was overrated, he thought. With Cassie around, he’d never be bored. She wouldn’t let him. And that was better than any medical mystery he’d ever solved.

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