#then remembered those were made before 2022

[theysaidhush]

Dear Christopher,

-> Pairing: Ex!Bang Chan x Reader

-> You write a letter to Chan one year after he breaks up with you, asking questions you wish you had answers to before he left.

-> heavy angst, bit of smut

I thought love was everything I needed. You said it was everything we needed. I believed it. Truly did. Because even if everyone likes you, even if I am everyone, everyone is not me. They don't get to see you when waking up, they don't get to touch your face like I wish I did, don't get to hold your hand or look into your eyes when we were dinning - that, I wish I did too. I'm just realizing that I might as well be just everyone, don't you think so too?

"I will love you, to the moon and back."

Was your trip to the moon too short that it did not last long? Was trying to reach out for the stars too tiring? It wasn't even what I asked for...

I met you on a sunny day, remember? I bet you do, because as much as I want you not to, so I can blame you, I know you do. You're just like that, so perfect that it's actually hard for me to write this letter. I want to point at your flaws and scream and screech at that blank, virgin piece of paper. But I can't. It holds too much meaning to me. I still have it. Why do I still have it? Ah, seriously...

So yeah, we met on a sunny day. I think it was holidays? At least for you. Those are rare aren't they? You were nobody, walking down the street. No holy glow, no charming or alluring walk. Just you, your cap and your way too baggy black clothes. I wasn't sucked it, did not look twice at that strange man covered like a person would if walking in Netherlands. And you came to me and told me a weird pick up line with that accent of yours that made me think about what you said twice just because I couldn't comprehend it. I wouldn't have answered if it wasn't for your giggle. You were giggling. Giggling for God's sake. What man giggles in 2022? But you sucked me in, just like that. With those charming dimples. Suddenly, the ocean wasn't enough to quench my thirst, no weight was heavy enough to hold me down and no colors was enough to paint you and picture you just like you were that day. It was so overwhelming I wish I hadn't met you, that day. I was a blushing mess (I still am when recalling that scene), my hands were sweaty and I was feeling dizzy. How dare you sounding so pretty? Because yeah, you made me realize that a sound could be pretty too. I fell in love for the first time in my life. I fell when I met you.

We met later. You were late. I did not think much about it. I am not one to care for those kind of things. Still am. How could I known it was a telltale sign? How would I known? You asked me questions about myself. You were the first to actually make me feel like an interesting person. Is it fool? I don't know. But I loved telling you about my life. You always hear, you always listen. I love that about you. I could have told you about how I saw an ant carrying another ant, how funny I thought it was, and you could have laughed like you were here to witness it, like it was actually funny. I could have told you about this really sad movie that I watched a few days prior and you could have scrunched your face and furrow your eyebrows as if you were trying not to cry. I could have told you about that stain on my table that I just can't clean and your fingers would have itched to do it for me. I fell in love a second time. I fell when I got to know you.

And then you left. I appreciated spending time with you. I appreciated the way you asked me if you could hold my hand. Just by that I could tell that your mother was a lovely and respectable person. I appreciated the way you were always trying to find something to do. I did not care about that suffocating thing covering half your face.

"I wanna see you do plenty of things so that I can know what you like and what you doesn't. I wanna get to know you when you are surprised, sad, happy, delighted. I wanna fell in love with every facet of your personality." you said. Was what you found not attractive enough? Was it not enough to keep you entertained, Chan?

Then you told me you had to leave. I hoped it wasn't just a summer fling. But you asked for my number, and we talked even after you left. Even in my sleep I was thrilled about waking up and reading your text in the morning, can you believe that? Who gave you the right to take my heart hostage and to care for it? Your texts were sweet, your voice in our weekly phone calls sweeter. And those pictures of landscapes even more. Got me thinking about how I wanted to be by your side. How I wanted to watch this sunset with you, how I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you until I can't breathe.

We never kissed. I regret that. I despise that. But maybe it is because we weren't meant to. And yet, in the darkest of night I was thinking about how I wanted to be next to you. How I wanted some warmth, some love. How I wanted to trace your body with my tongue. How I wanted to hold your hands while I'm making love to you. For the first time in my life I was horny. I wanted you to fill me up, to caress and to touch. I wanted to feel your fingertips on my body, to feel you fingers in my private part, to hear your whispers in my ears as you are delicately rocking my body. For the first time in my life I was a stranger in my own body. Touching and trying to please myself just like you would do if you were there. How funny, I'm sounding like a perv.

But you slowly started to disappear. Photos getting blurry. Texts getting shorter. Phone calls getting rare. Affection being yearned for.

And then you told me that you could no longer be with me. And that's when I fell in love for the third time. I fell because I realized how our one year relationship meant to me. You took everything with you. After that, the sun rays were burning flames, the smell of coffee was suffocating, the laughs of people was defeating, my thoughts were deadly.

You got me thinking about me. About I could would have be if I never met you. A happier version of myself. Confident and proud. But instead, you got me thinking about what was wrong about me. Was I not enough? Were my quirks and habits too weird? Was my voice and my laugh repulsing? Was my body disgusting? You got me dreading looking at my reflection, you got me dreading meeting new people. What if they didn't like me? What if I was not interesting enough? What if I was too loud? too obnoxious? too silent? too shy? too quiet? to weird? too ugly? too clingy? too distant? too mean? too nice? What if I was me? What if they didn't like me?

And I hate myself for saying this, because this is not all your fault. I was insecure before meeting you. But you gave me a taste of self-confidence, and it was like drug, addicting. But it was a you thing. The way you made me feel like we were on top of the world. You took it with you. I don't know how to go back to my old self.

I hope that one day I will heal feel again. But for the moment I will try.

It's been a year now. I still love you. I'll never love someone like I loved you. But you'll never love me like you love music. And I respect that. I only found out a few months after our break up that you were a world wide star. Mask and cap be damned, your voice is one that I can't forget. I think I understand now. Why you left. And again, I respect that.

I love you. We could have talked about it

I love you. If only you had told me

I love you. I'm sorry you didn't feel loved enough to tell me about your job

I love you, I wish you just told me why you left

I'm sorry. I should have try harder.

But maybe I was just that. Maybe I was just everybody. I'll try to forget because I genuinely wants to see you happy. Maybe one day I'll thank you for helping me growing up as a person. Maybe one day I'll tell about my first love to my friends. Maybe one day I'll write you another letter and write:

"And one day, your name didn't make me smile anymore."

To Bang Christopher Chan

From A Baby-Stray Stay

#stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids angst #bang chan smut #bang chan angst #skz x reader #skz angst #skz smut

[the-middle-grounds]

I posted 1,139 times in 2022

149 posts created (13%)

990 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@secretlystephaniebrown

@kineticallyanywhere

@fantastic-nonsense

@abd-illustrates

@marsoid

I tagged 1,139 of my posts in 2022

#q - 963 posts

#reblogged art - 268 posts

#dc - 204 posts

#reblogged videos - 132 posts

#memery - 121 posts

#rambles - 105 posts

#writing is hard - 59 posts

#cats - 53 posts

#bruce wayne - 53 posts

#dick grayson - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i can still write its just that i rely too much on internet autosave and i don't trust device saving after too many incidents with computer

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

June Log 2022|Mid-2022 Log

“June?  What happened to May?”

Recharging.

Well, finally at the middle of the year.  Definitely falling behind my goals, but I have come to some realizations.

First and foremost, while I was looking forward to writing a book around the next year, I’ve come to realize it might be better to hold that off in favor of my planned webcomic.  We’ll see what I stick with by the end of the year, most likely.

I don’t have a second one, I don’t why I acted like I did.

I will say though, I think I need to introduce more routine in my life.  That way I can chip away at stuff more and feel more productive than my usual random bursts of 10k words in one sleep deprived night.

Other than that, June’s here, and I’m going to be swapping out other goals for new ones.

Yay.

Goals for 2022

Rewatch Red Vs Blue

Actually finished season 1.  Plan to finish the rest maybe around August.  Though I think I’ll only go up to season 14.  (Looking into the newest seasons some other time)

One inked and colored drawing a month (even if it’s just monochrome)

Failed and not continuing.  Maybe next year.

Doodle/Drawing Challenge (365 Days of Red-X)

Starts this month on the 8th.  (Was supposed to be May but I got the date wrong).

Finish two one arc of Three Strikes (other than the first arc).

Behind this one. so adjusting it to just one arc.  That arc is about 3 chapters, but could stretch to 4-5.

Finish plotting at least two books of a novel series.

I got this.  Partially.

Design the main cast of a webcomic I’m planning.

I have IDEAS.  Just trying to figure out what I want.  Thankfully most of them wear uniforms.

June Goals

Read Lightning Thief

Actually surprised I didn’t read this earlier considering I was interested in Greek Mythology when I was 12-13.  Fun book so far.

Also what the fuck’s with this kid.

Finish Chapters 2-3 of Three Strikes

Finally got free time AND the drive to write.

I swear once I actually get on a roll it’s over for my procrastination.

For a bit.

See the full post

2 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#4

Okay but Deliver Us is great

3 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#3

Another year another Tarah.

Decided to add some simplistic shading and give them some clothes for the first time (i still don’t have an entire outfit in mind).

Some notable changes that I’ve made to the 2021 version:

- Disgruntled Tarah

- Bye, bye back hair ombre (it felt too overpowering when I gave them clothes versus when they didn’t)

- Simplified the hair because it’s painful to draw.

- Simplified their facial markings because it looked way too much like overexaggerated eyeliner.

- Ears! I love tufted ears and need to be contained.  But also didn’t like the overly large/fluffy design.

- Rounder nose (might change back)

- Choker that totally has no relation to the plot.  Absolutely not.

4 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#2

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Teen Titans (Animated Series), DCU Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Red X/Barbara Gordon, Red X & Dick Grayson, Red X & Jason Todd, Red X & Original Characters, Red X & Bruce Wayne, Red X & Teen Titans, Red X/Komand'r, Red X & H.I.V.E Five, Red X/Kyd Wykkyd, Minor or Background Relationship(s) Characters: Red X (DCU), Teen Titans (DCU), Dick Grayson, Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Victor Stone, Raven (DCU), Original Characters, Batfamily Members, Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd, Komand'r (DCU), H.I.V.E Five, Jinx (DCU), Kyd Wykkyd (DCU) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Red X is his own character, Morally Ambiguous Character, Unreliable Narrator, Depression, Dark, Relationship-centric, Family, Team as Family, Canon Disabled Character, Romani Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon is a BAMF, Multiracial Jason Todd, Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Background Relationships Summary:

One for the money.

Two for the show.

Three to be ready.

And four more to go.

___

He's a thief; he has been all of his life, and he is more than likely to go to the grave with this fact eternally hanging over his head. It's the only thing he's good at; that and ruining things for other people. In some screwed-up way, watching people get what they deserve is even fun for him; it's karmic justice.

But just like every other person, he has flaws and makes mistakes now and again.

And at this rate, they're going to catch up with him.

---

Rated M for Mature Language and Violence.

5 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I find the outrage about The Batman not being for kids funny because I've seen at least one person boldly say: "Has there EVER been a child-friendly Batman movie?"

Like Lego Batman didn't come out a few years ago.

16 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i was confused as to why my biggest posts had so little when i remember getting way more activity this year #then remembered those were made before 2022 #woops #well happy new years everyone

[fiercynn]

okay, if you have ever made or reblogged a “hold your nose and vote for biden” post, this is for you.

here’s the fucking thing about these kinds of posts. i've been seeing them since i first returned to tumblr in, I think, late 2022? they've certainly increased in frequency since october 7, but they were there before too, ready to counter any kind of opposition to biden that has cropped up. many of them are not just trying to educate people about what positive things biden has done, which, like, at least I can understand the motivation behind those ones? but so many of them are directly in response to people criticizing biden, and their only real point is “sure you’re upset at this thing biden did, but have you considered the election?” starting YEARS before the next presidential election, mind you.

and october 7 only made that clearer. i don’t think it had been a week before i saw these posts cropping up. can you not see how fucking ghoulish that is? to look at the rightful pain and anger of those whose relatives and communities are being slaughtered with active american support, to respond to one of the few pieces of agency most americans have in influencing what their governments do – their vote – by saying “yes but trump would be worse.” as if the primary people you’re lecturing – palestinians, muslims, arabs, black people, indigenous people, disabled people, other marginalized people – don’t remember exactly how bad it was under trump!

and even if you think not voting is an empty gesture – something i, who studied political science at a mainstream american lib college, who has worked as a field organizer on a previous democratic presidential campaign and for several policy campaigns, who currently works in public policy in america, used to believe, but have absolutely changed my mind on – what is in no way an empty gesture is saying publicly that you will not vote for someone. the arguments people usually have about why simply not voting is bad are that you can’t tell why someone is not voting, so it is as likely to be apathy or disenfranchisement as it is a political statement. but saying publicly that you will not vote for someone, and why you will not vote for them, absolutely is a political statement, and potentially a powerful one! but you choose to negate and/or ignore that by trotting out the “lesser of two evils” bullshit.

and then there’s the whole “yes but people will DIE under trump”. PEOPLE ARE DYING NOW. even if you’re fucking racist and have decided that palestinian lives don’t count, have you forgotten biden’s ongoing covid minimalism and dismantling of the CDC’s covid research and prevention infrastructure? have you forgotten his increase in spending for law enforcement scant years after the murder of george floyd and his administration's surveillance of protesters, including cop city protesters? have you forgotten his recent ramp-up in deportations of undocumented immigrants, including the active continuation of many trump-era policies?

maybe you have forgotten all those things and do purport to care about palestinians, but you just think that biden is doing his best to influence netanyahu and is getting nowhere! but then you must have forgotten all of the things that biden and his administration themselves have done to further this fucking genocide, including:

continuing to send arms to israel

putting together a military task force within days of yemen’s red sea blockade and attacking yemeni ships

bombing yemen

bombing syria

bombing iraq

vetoing three ceasefire resolutions at the united nations

testifying to defend israel and its genocide and occupation at the international court of justice

refusing to rescue palestinian-americans stuck in gaza

halting funding to the united nations relief and works agency for palestinian refugees (UNRWA) based on israeli claims that 12 of UNRWA’s over 30,000 staff were hamas agents, even though u.s. intelligence has not been able to independently verify this

lying that he’s personally seen photos of babies beheaded by hamas when he hadn’t because they didn’t exist (and even when his own staff cautioned him that reports of beheaded babies may not be credible)

questioning the number of palestinian deaths reported by the gaza ministry of health (when even israel has not questioned them, since they are in fact proud of those numbers)

perpetuating lies about hamas having committed the attack on al-aqsa hospital

questioning united nations reports of adults and children raped by israeli soldiers while claiming to have proof (that no one else has seen) of hamas doing the same

honestly so many more things that i can’t remember them all but others feel free to add

or maybe you haven’t forgotten any of that, and think that you’re still justified in lecturing people about why they should vote for biden, because you genuinely believe trump would still be worse. if that is the case, you have still failed to see that by saying you will vote for biden no matter what, you are part of the problem of biden continuing to act like this. because biden is counting on fear of trump to win him this next election no matter what else he does. despite his appalling polling numbers, despite the knowledge that he is losing the palestinian-american vote, the arab-american vote, the muslim-american vote, the black american vote, the youth vote – despite all of that, he is secure in the idea that he will still win because he is better than trump. can you not see how that allows him to act without impunity? how it becomes increasingly impossible for his base to influence what he’s doing if he thinks that they will be with him no matter what? this is how you make yourself complicit to biden’s actions, by not affording anyone even the slightest power to hold him accountable for anything.

and in most cases, the “hold your nose and vote for biden” thing is the response of people who aren’t even being instructed by others not to vote for biden. it is their response to people saying they themselves are choosing not to vote for biden. fucking ghoulish.

#fuck biden #u.s. politics #free palestine #genocide #covid #immigrant justice #prison abolition #police abolition #ableism #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

[your-nanas-house]

"Mr. Coleman said that..."

◇ Pairing: stepdad!Austin Butler X stepdaughter!Reader

◇ Warnings: kind of dark, SMUT, sessions, therapy (invented by me, dunno if it exists), pervy, stepdad x stepdaughter dynamic.

◇ Summary: Austin gets bit lost in the feelings that the "bond" therapy gifted him.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. It took me so long, thanks for the kind anon that reminded me what Austin fic I wanted to publish. I think it's the very first Austin fic that I wrote... 🫣.

A small click and the front door of his attic was open, allowing him to enter and finally drop down the bag he carried all day around... plus the new script.

Austin had been out all day and he honestly felt all those hours on his shoulders other than his mood. He really was tired but happy, since he was about to see his little princess.

As his feet lead him to the open kitchen he could already hear her soft humming, which informed him that she was busy entertain herself with something

"Hi stepdaddy, how was your day?" Her sweet voice beamed after his footsteps popped her little bubble of calm. She didn't look upset or annoyed when seeing him... which was a good thing since they had some issues when her mom left them both.

Issues that with a bit of father and daughter therapy should had quickly disappear... or so the man, who was following the process, had told them the first meeting.

"Bit tiring but... it was good. How about yours? What did you do while I was out?" Austin's low raspy voice asked as his hand removed carefully his AirPods before his coat so that he could focus his attention on her completely.

She was still in her cute pajamas, a silly one that she had begged him to buy her as soon as she finished watching one of the latest movies of his... 'Elvis' 2022. Reason because her pants were of a baby pink filled with pictures of the king, matched by a baggy shirt with the quote 'Keep Calm and Love Elvis Presley'.

"Bit boring, studied a bit... and nothing much, I cleaned the house though" Y/n informed him after taking a big sip of her tea, humming softly when the older man's arms wrapped around her torso.. hugging her close to himself.

"So sweet of you" he murmured in her ear, tickling her with his short beard as his face snuggled in the crock of her neck more so to make her chuckle before pressing his lips against hers for a quick 'hello' kiss.

His head now resting on top of hers calmly.

"Also!.. I need your help" Y/n hummed out, putting down her cup as her heart beat faster in her chest.. butterflies forming in her stomach at her stepdad's cuddles.

She could already feel his chest vibrating softly as he replied with his voice which became even more lower that it used to be due to the time and work.

"With what, kid?" His big hand ruffled her hair playfully while his body moved to rest against the table of the kitchen so that his beautiful eyes could stare at her as she talked.

She really was so cute like that, her hair bit messy because of him and the glasses she put on just when she used her laptop so to protect them. It seemed quite domestic... bit too domestic since his body started to react a bit, aroused by the innocent scenario.

And the cute mad face she made every time he would tease or annoy her, was so cute but also such a strong turn on for him... expecially those pouty pretty lips, now covered by a watermelon lip gloss.

"Do you remember what Mr. Coleman suggested?" Y/n asked casually, glancing at him with the face he grow to know as 'the testing face'; a serious but funny expression that she always used when she wanted to see if he remembered something or if he forgot about it.

"Of what, sweetheart?" Austin replied with her same tone as he put down the script, pouring himself a glass of water before sitting on the counter to look in her direction. She was giving him her back but he could already see the pouty face accompanied by a small snort of disappointment since he didn't remember.

"The bonding exercises, Baba!" She whined out, looking at him while scoffing softly at his amused expression. He really knew her too well.

"Of course I remember, baby" Austin lied as he placed his glass on the surface so he wouldn't look her in the eyes without distractions

"He said at least once a week, two is better though..." she repeated what their therapist said to them some weeks ago, her eyes looking at him lazily bit tired of her lonesome day. Even too tired to notice his stare taking her whole in shamefully.

"You know that I'm always free to spend some quality time with you, baby" he rasped out before clearing his throat and finish his water, his body warming up at the mere view of her cute behaviour.

"That's a lie but anyway... Let's start it, hm" the young woman murmured, pecking back as soon as he leaned down to steal a bit of love while picking her up easily and move them on the sofa in the living room where there was more space.

"What were the exercises again?" Austin asked, his hands rubbing soft circles on her hips while his eyes pierced intensely in hers the whole time she explained to him "The 5 senses exercises to feel more connected. Touch.. with the yoga, hearing.. by listening and talking, taste.. by eating together, and.. view.. the stare".

Those were all topics they had to go through in their therapist's opinion.. a way to bond with each other better and share some quality moments as father... even though he wasn't her real dad, and daughter.

"I remember perfectly now... and what was the last one?" He asked while playing with a lock of her hair, smiling slightly when her index finger pressed against his nose while talking "It's the smell... we have to take in our scent... and that should be all. So!... where do we start?" The young woman beamed, getting up from his lap.

The older man really enjoyed seeing her so full of energy and joy, it was addicting.

"Okay, little one, let's start. You can choose with which one we begin".

.

Her choose was quickly and he found himself warming slightly up to start the first step. The Touch.. aka Yoga exercises.

Simple but helpful positions they had to do together to feel the struggles and the moving of their bodies.

"Need to change! Mr. Coleman said that we have to be as bare as possible for this one." The young woman reminded the older man from the other room, busy changing into something to start the exercise and have yoga behind so they could relax.

He said that?, Austin questioned in his mind and raised his eyebrows... he really didn't listen so much when that man spoke with them. He clearly needed to stay more focused in the next sessions.

"You need to change as well!" Her sweet voice urged him as she was now standing in front of him in the set of underwear he gifted her that Christmas. Matching bra and panties which colors were identical to her favourite bun that she had used to tie her hair up.

"Sweet baby Jesus above, you are stunning" he commented, holding himself from just cursing in front of her since he scolded her more than once when some bad words left her pretty mouth. It had became a game of theirs just saying some silly things instead of vulgar language.

"It's the set you gave me!" She informed him with a smile, her hands busy fixing her hair happy and warm to start

"I know, little one" the actor murmured while still staring, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

His body was reacting bit too much for his liking and he started to sweat a bit so he decided to get quickly ready and just move his hands to pull off his shirt and threw it away, exposing his built body to the air so that they could begin with the yoga.

Y/n was the first to lead and help, her smaller frame kept doing her best to keep up and help Austin while ending up most of the time just clinging on him like a koala or bouncing to reach his hands.. way too high for her reach.

It was funny, adorable and relaxing... till the sensations changed when he was the one leading the exercise.

"Baba! You have to follow my body" Y/n explained in a whiny playful voice as her young body bent down in front of him, her ass brushing against his crotch and then pressing lovingly when he moved on her, hugging her hips with his strong arms.

Fucking hot, he thought now that his cock overpowered his brain.

His breath became bit heavier while his hands massaged her flesh, he could have stayed like that all day... with his boner pressed between her firm and round ass cheeks still barely covered by those damn panties.

"Ready for the rhythm? Remember sync to let our bodies connect" she parrot what Mr. Coleman told them, making Austin curse internally since he had forgot about the movements... not that he minded though, since his worries disappeared as soon as her ass hit his half-hard dick.

His hips started to follow, taking the lead unconsciously, grinding his clothed cock against her soft flesh shamelessly.

"You got your phone in your pocket, Baba?" Y/n asked after a while, glancing behind to check on him, yelping softly when he moves her head easily by her chin. Making her look back ahead.

"Mhhm... focus, little one. Sync, remember?" Austin rasped out as his hips increased their rhythm, making her loose the balance she had and end up flat against the floor with him on top.

Her heart was beating fast and she couldn't deny that her panties were getting wet by his movements... she wasn't sure it was part of the exercises but who was her to correct her stepdad.

"You're doing so good, baby. So good" his low voice praised, making her maintain the rhythm and match his when his hips increased the tempo as his big hand, which was on her tummy, helped her continue it.

It was starting to get tired, her breath becoming breathless as she heard him grunting next to her ear.

"Austin, I'm not sure this is part of Mr. Coleman's exercises—" Y/n weakly spoke, letting a broken whine escape her mouth when his little finger pressed roughly against her clothed clit

"It's all part of Mr. Coleman's exercises to bond, baby. And call me like he said you should.. don't you want to make the sessions pay off?" Austin murmured huskily, inhaling deeply while lowering quickly his sweatpants and press his bare, rock-hard angry cock against her ass again, pulling the fabric of her panties so that it was stuck between her ass cheeks like his lenght.

"I said call me like Mr. Coleman said, little one" his tone became more stern as his hand spanked her soft flesh making her jolt

"Sorry, daddy! Sorry" she whined out, moving her ass up so to allow him to continue without interruptions... just like a good girl.

It was twisted but felt so good, so... damn good, with the soft skin of his cock caressing her inner thighs as he made sure to keep them closed so that he could fuck them. Hitting her clit with each thrust.

Her stepdad was dry humping her and she was loving it as much as he was... and she could tell that he was enjoying himself pretty much due to all the noises and praises that escaped his lips.

"Such a good girl! Fuck— fuck, fuck. Little one!" His horsed voice growled in her ear as his body shook against hers before something started to wet her thighs and panties. The young woman didn't had time to check before her own orgasm hit her whole and her back arched, a soft curse, which earned her a harsh spank, escaped her innocent sweet mouth.

"Language, baby... now how about we move to the food now, hm?" Austin suggested while massaging her warm flesh, moving his softening cock away from her shaking thighs.

#austin butler fandom #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fic #austin butler smut #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler x you #austin butler fluff #austin butler imagine

[roboticchibitan]

I remember when same sex marriage was legized in my state (3 years before obergefel vs Hodges which legalized it nationwide). It won by a very narrow margin.

People who had taken care of me when I was young, people who were like second parents to me, (along with half the other people I knew) were saying it was the end times because I could now get married. And I couldn't help but wonder... would those people have protected me, cared for me, let me play with their children, if they had known I would grow up to be queer?

I came out in 2011. I was lucky. My parents were accepting. My mom was clearly uncomfortable at first but she made it clear she loved me no matter what.

Except.

My dad didn't care if I was queer and assured me that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me (in a speech I didn't need to hear but I think he needed to say). But he still said "that's gay" and "that's faggy" anytime my little brother showed vulnerability.

And I was a lucky one. My father used homophobic slurs around me regularly. He turned the word gay into a slur with his homophobic mouth. And I was a lucky one.

When I came out publicly, my grandmother stopped speaking to me for a while. I'm lucky that she changed her mind. I'm lucky that my grandparents let me bring my girlfriend with me when I went to visit them in October. October of 2022 and I still consider myself lucky that my grandparents let my queer partner into their house. My other grandma likewise visited with us, and was polite and friendly, but she still refused to call my gf anything other than "your friend." Still lucky. Incredibly lucky.

People don't understand just how bad things were as much as ten years ago. When I came out at school, I was lucky. No one bullied me. No one shoved me into lockers or called me slurs. They all just stopped talking to me. I became invisible. I went to a small school. I was the only person who was out. Exactly one person talked to me the rest of the year. And I was a lucky one.

When I was in middle and highschool, the go to insult was "that's gay." I heard it constantly. Every day. Sometimes people said it to me to insult me, long before I even knew I was queer.

I was lucky because the worst that happened to me was social isolation and people using slurs around me or turning my identity into a slur. No one called ME faggy. No one beat me up behind the school bleachers. I was incredibly lucky.

I have experienced the word "gay" used as a slur far more than I ever heard the word "queer" used as a slur. Young "queer is a slur and only a slur" people need to know the world you live in is not the world the rest of us live in. Why is "queer" a slur but "gay" isn't? My homophobic father thought the word "gay" conveyed just as much offense and disgust as the word "faggot." So why is queer the horrible word that can never be reclaimed but people say "that's gay" as a compliment now? The loneliest I have ever felt was in a room full of teenagers who thought my identity was the height of insults. So why is gay fine but queer isn't?

I am a fat butch queer and I do not hide that. My shoes have a pride flag on them. I have a masculine haircut and wear men's clothes. I look queer.

And I am afraid. I dress like this anyway, because I want other queer folks to know I am a safe person. I dress how I do partially because I like it but also partially so any queer person in the room, no matter now closeted, can see me and feel a little bit safer. Because I will protect other queer people with my life if need be.

Because I am openly and visibly queer and live in a world where being queer can get you killed. Because it can. Gay bashings still happen. The alt right are getting bolder in their violence, and that includes homophobic/transphobic violence. There are organizations in the US that are actively pushing to make homosexuality punishable by death in Africa. They know they could never accomplish that here. But they would if they could. People want us dead.

Young people need to understand that. And they need to understand that the people who did the most work to free us from criminalization were queer. They identified as queer. And they weren't the perfect law abiding queers toeing the line of what's acceptible. Because being queer itself was illegal. You could end up on the sex offender registry for being gay. In fact, there are queer people who are STILL registered as sex offenders just because they were queer in 2001. Pride wasn't a permitted parade with wells Fargo floats. It was angry queers illegally marching down the streets, screaming "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it."

Being openly queer is a radical act. It is still a radical act.

I did not live through Windsor vs the united states, the referendum 74 debate, my father punishing my brother for being human with homophobic slurs, and the pearl clutching fearmongering about "the gay agenda" (that was a go to phrase for 2012 homophobes) for some LGBT kid to come at me with TERF bullshit they got off tiktok about how my identity is a slur and I'm a horrible person for using it.

I was a lucky one and I'm still saying "no, absolutely not" to this bullshit.

Queer is more inclusive. Queer accounts for any possible fluidity because people change. Identities change. Queer is there for people who know they're Something Different but are not sure of the details yet. Queer is intentionally vague. When you're young you want everyone to know exactly who you are but as you get older you realize actually my identity is none of your business. In fact, sometimes when you tell someone your identity, you're handing them a bludgeon for them to hurt you with.

If you have trans classmates, you do not understand the world the rest of us grew up in. Trans people were not a public topic. They were not even acknowledged as existing by most people. I didn't know what being trans was until I was like 17. I'm nonbinary now and consider myself trans 10 years later.

And I didn't even have it that bad. But you know what? It still sucked and it was still hard and I can't imagine what it was like to grow up a decade before I did. I had it easy compared to most people.

If you can jokingly say "that's gay" when someone expresses queer love, then you can fucking handle people using the word queer as their identity.

The infighting and policing each other has to stop. You're oppressing queer people with this bullshit. It does not matter what words queer people use to describe themselves when there are people actively killing us. What are you doing? For fucks sake look at the bigger picture. Direct all that rage at our oppressors and the people who mean us harm. Queer people and he/him lesbians and bi lesbians and people who use neo pronouns and whoever else is the discourse of the day do not deserve this kind of treatment. Punch a homophobe and maybe you'll feel better.

#tw homophobia #had to go on a rant because I was thinking about how trapped and afraid I felt during the referendum 74 debate #nothing was safe #no one was safe #we are still not safe #discourse

[cheriladycl01]

The Rookie Prodigy - Carlos Sainz x Driver! Reader Part 1

Plot: You are a rookie coming into the 2022 season of Formula one into Alfa Romeo with team member Zhou Guanyu, being in a mid tier team can you help them rise up the ranks. What pressures occur for the only rookie within the 2022 line up!

Credit to macrazylive for the GIF

"We have had some amazing announcements this year. We only have two rookies on the grid this year that have a confirmed seat both in Alfa Romeo. So it should be an interesting season for them!" the first reporter says while walking around the paddock.

"Yes, its very uncommon to see a team take on two rookies in the same season, so it'll be interesting to see if they under perform based on these statistics or not" the other one admits.

Currently you were sat with Zhou your current team mate, he was teaching you a little bit of Chinese at your request.

"Are you nervous for today?" you ask him, you'd both done lots of media over the break so people could get to know you before the season start in Bahrain had begun.

"A little, but we will drive the very best that we can. I know it" he says pulling you into a side hug. You'd gotten very close to your team mate, both being rookies on the same team made you both sort of outcasts on the grid. Today would be your first time talking to the other 18 drivers.

"We'll be fine i promise" he says before walking towards his car in the Alpha Romeo garage, you walk over to your race engineer Paul and go through the different strategies to make sure you know what each one means.

"Okay, its time for your first race, you got this. Remember your starting P11 and Zhou is starting P15. So you just got to make up some pace, and you'll be in points region. Get a good start, and overtake Esteban while defending from Mick, Lando may help you with that but you'll need to then defend from him" he advices and you nod. You take your helmet that your best friend designed for you on place it over your head.

Paul, taps the back of your helmet covered head, before bumping fits with you. You pull yourself into the car under the halo before placing the wheel on.

"Okay, lets go and grab some points" Paul says after he'd checked the radio to make sure you had good connection.

At the start lights you had an impeccable start going wide on the outside of Ocon and Gasly and moving into 9th place. Lando had managed to overtake Mick and was gaining.

"Amazing start Y/N P9 as of now. George ahead, attempt overtake at turn 4. He's 0.4 seconds ahead" you hear your race engineer point out. You can see the Mercedes ahead, and going into turn for you go for the risky move and break later than George. You gave him enough room and he swung wide, not wanting to damage the car giving you a gap to get through.

"What's this Martin! Y/N is storming through this track, starting in P11 and she's already made her way up to P8 taking over drivers who have been in F1 much longer than her. This is some incredible driving we are seeing"

Eventually you had to pit, but it was an exceptionally fast pit-stop that was well timed from your team and had you coming out behind Gasly . You went a few laps, dancing around with him where you both had the pace, but the minute your tires warmed up and his had worn out enough you ploughed on ahead creating a large time gap along the straight.

"You've got Alonso ahead, 1.2 second gap, lets close it on those Sector 2 corners" Paul directs. In no time you make your way up to P6, Magnussen was ahead in P5.

"How many laps left? Can i catch him?" you ask your engineer.

"2 seconds ahead and 10 laps, you can catch him if you speed up Sector 1" he advises. You put you head to it, and managed to overtake.

"This is insane Alfa Romeo are storming this season along with Ferrari, right now, we have Charles Leclerc in P1, Carlos Sainz in P2, Lewis Hamilton in P3 and oh what is this, its NOT, i repeat NOT a double finish for Mercedes, Y/N has overtaken George Russell even on the older tires. And her counter part in Alfa Romeo is in P9 this is an amazing start to the season for the two Ferrari teams"

"AND THAT'S IT CHARLES LECLERC HAS COME FIRST AT BAHRAIN, SAINZ IN SECOND, HAMILTON IN THIRD"

"You've done it Y/N that's P4 we now have 14 points at the starts of the season!" Paul voices. You pull up jumping out your car and hugging everyone.

"I don't think i could have done it if Max and Checo finished, they would have come ahead of me!" you admit, you pull your helmet off balaclava coming off with it. The top bit of your hair was sheened with sweat. You run your hands through it trying to get some more volume through it.

"You'll be in an interview with the TOP 5, from today" Fred says patting your back, he guides you to where the interviews out there.

"Oh Carlos, Charles come say hello to Y/N you haven't met her yet!" Fred offers you up and the two Ferrari boys come over.

"Wow, you are more beautiful in real life than you are in your driver picture!" Carlos says taking your hand and kissing it, a blush coming onto your face.

"You are a fantastic rookie!" Charles compliments pulling you into a hug before offering you up his water. You nod realizing you hadn't picked yours up from the garage.

"Thank you, I'm dying" you joke, and sky from his Ferrari bottle before handing it back to him.

"Omg that's Lewis Hamilton" you whisper looking over at the 7 time world champion that was ahead of you.

"Why didn't we get that reaction mi hermosa?" Carlos asks, and you blush.

"It's Lewis Hamilton!" you say just looking at him in awe.

"Hey great race today Y/L/N. Haven't seen a rookie like you since myself"

"Oh my god" you says in awe. He pulls you into a hug and starts to ask you questions, while Carlos keeps interrupting.

"Well its actually funny because I've been watching you for the last two years in F2" Carlos says as Lewis asks you what prior championships you'd won and how you'd got your seat in Alfa Romeo.

"Oh, you did?" you ask.

"Yeah I actually came to the garage one time, not yours but i was there!"

"That's cool man, I also kept up with her career. I just like to ask so people can gloat about their own achievements, its good for the soul" he smiled a little awkwardly at Carlos and his sudden need to prove that he, knew you better? Is that what that was?

"Come on guys, time for interviews" one of the directors call, George, Lewis and Charles start to walk through but Carlos grabs your hand and holds you back.

"Come out with me tonight, to celebrate?" he asks, however your PR manager comes out and pulls you away from him.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 #formula one fanfiction #formula one #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz x y/n

[midnightarsenal]

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

Summary: A match with Brighton is interrupted by a pitch invader.

Pairing: Arsenal Women x Arsenal!Reader

Warning: Assault | Avoidance | Anxiety | Some Angst

Word Count: 4.6k

Meadow Park, Borehamwood

///

"Y/L/N!" Katie yells from across the pitch and you waste little time in punting the ball over the heads of half a dozen players to her, leading to certified banger of a goal in the seconds that follow and making the score 2-0 in the 61st minute after Caitlin's screamer near the end of the first half. You sprint over to the Irishwoman and launch yourself onto her back, cheering ecstatically as the pair of you are swarmed by the rest of your team.

.....

You had been with the club for over a year now, one of several promising names signed to the Gunners in the summer of 2022, and while you hadn't yet been with the team long enough to cement your place in it as one of its icons, you hadn't needed a lot of time to make plenty of friends among its roster.

Prior to joining Arsenal, you had been Everton's star girl, having played with the Liverpudlian side for over four years before moving to North London in a change that had caused almost as much upset among the Blues fans as it had excitement in the Gooners. It had been a tough decision, but both you and your manager had known that you needed more room to develop your talent and that such room could only be found at a team that regularly fought at the top of the league.

Besides, it had been a far better choice than the alternative of moving to Liverpool. (You still couldn't believe they had been bold enough to even offer.)

Initially, you'd been worried by the prospect of moving both city and club, leaving behind the team you'd grown so close to and entering a new, unknown environment filled with some pretty impressive (and subsequently intimidating) talents. Generally, you were a very confident person and not someone who tended to doubt yourself, but even then, the idea of playing alongside the likes of Miedema and Williamson with reputations known far and wide was a little daunting for a player with a relatively lowkey profile.

But, despite that you had more than proven yourself in your first full season with the club, serving as a reliable forward and netting yourself a handful of goals in the process, even if you weren't a regular in the starting eleven. (You tried not to take it personally given that it was your first season, though your competitive streak made the task a little difficult at times.)

The girls had accepted you with open arms as one of their own, and any reservations you'd had about switching to Arsenal had all but vanished by the time international break had started and you'd gone off the World Cup down under. The teammates on either side of you today were more than just co-workers, they were your friends, and sometimes they even felt like family.

.....

"Alright, you've all done a very good job this half." Jonas starts approvingly as you and the rest of the girls gather round for a brief strategy talk, with Cloé sitting on the pitch not too far away being looked over by the medics. There (probably) isn't anything wrong with her, but it's a good excuse to get a quick chat with the coach in before the game continues. It's the 75th minute and Brighton has been putting on the pressure, propelled forward by an influx of their benched players and possibly some added desperation after Katie's goal.

"Jen, Kyra, Kat, we cannot get complacent now, we need to reassert control over the midfield and lessen the pressure on our defence. Remember, their number 10 loves to make those late runs, so mark her tightly." Your coach continues, his attention turned to the midfielders as he makes quick work of the review while Cloé gets back up to some applause from the crowd and limps towards you and the others, heading for the nearby bench with the team physio and a pair of medics by her side. Already, Lina is taking her jacket off to sub in just behind you.

The chat concludes and the game continues, having only been paused for around a minute and a half as you share a glance with some of the other girls while you all run back onto the pitch with haste. You aren't normally the type to feel as if the result has been decided before the final whistle blows, but you feel confident that you'll be walking away with a win tonight, content with another strong performance.

If only.

It's the 83rd minute when it happens, 8 minutes after your group chat and 7 until the match's conclusion. You're not doing anything when the first signs of a problem arise in the form of distant gasps and disapproving yells from the crowd, you're just standing there with your hands idly on your hips, walking slowly along the pitch and keeping track of the ball as it's passed around in the midfield, a sizable distance from where you are.

You aren't paying attention to what's behind you.

"Y/L/N!" You hear Katie yell again from some ways away, but this time there's something different in her tone that alerts you, there's an urgency in it that's uncharacteristic, one that makes you think something's wrong, and it doesn't take you long to find out what it is.

"Stupid cow!" Is what you hear slurred from behind you before a searing pain suddenly springs forth from the side of your head, the impact of something hard sending you stumbling to the side before you quickly lose your footing and tumble to the ground, the left half of your face hitting the grass with such momentum that it briefly bounces back up before dropping down again.

Your vision blurs for a second or two as you instinctively reach for the sides of your head to cradle it protectively, your legs lifting up until you're just short of a fetal position. You quickly understand that you've been hit by someone and brace for a second attack, one that fortunately doesn't come as you hear sounds of a scuffle nearby.

Your right temple pulses with hurt and you can't help but scrunch your face up, closing and opening your eyes in a rabid blink to try and adjust your sight and shake off the disorientation that has you locked in its grip. For a few moments you lose track of time, wrapped up in your own world of pain before you see someone kneel down in front of you and feel their hands cup over your cheeks, turning your head up to face them.

It's Beth.

"Jesus Christ, you alright?" She asks intensely, her face shaped by a mix of exasperation and concern as you feel someone else's hands slot under your armpits and sit you up, you feel a minor sense of relief at the fact you don't immediately become nauseous at the movement, and the world starts to filter back to high resolution as your disorientation dissipates.

"Yeah.. yeah, I'm alright." You finally find the strength to speak, frowning as you continue to rub at your right temple and look around, trying to get a grip on your surroundings. Your head still hurt, but not quite as bad now and you're sitting up, surrounded on all sides by a wall of red and white football kits, all belonging to women who's gazes were entirely focused on you and who all looked either worried sick, pissed off or both.

Behind them, you could only just see another gathering of bodies that was leaving the pitch. A sea of high-vis jackets, some emblazoned on their backs with 'Security' and others 'Police'.

"Fucking maniac." You hear one of the girls around you say, "How'd they let that happen?" Someone else asks to no one in particular, "Stupid dickhead, should throw him in the sea." A third voice suggests angrily and the accent leaves little room for candidates who's surname isn't McCabe.

You feel some of the girls pat you on the shoulder or rub your back, and Beth takes one of your hands in her own, hands disappearing from your face so they can help you stand up before the wall of Arsenal red parts to let in the team physio and doctor who quickly disapprove of the idea and sit you back down before you've even had the chance to get your bum off the grass.

A light is flashed in each of your eyes, causing you to wince, and you're bombarded with a series of questions that lead you to assume the pair are checking for a concussion. But- after what feels like forever, with the hairs on your skin standing up as you become increasingly aware of what a cold night it is now that the warmth from your exertion during the game has worn off- the two medical professionals get up from their crouched position and carefully help you stand up too.

The crowd cheers for the development and you let out a breath, shaking your head with a small, cynical smile as you were met with looks of sympathy from your teammates. The side of your head still hurt, but it had diminished to the point that you could probably ignore it, though it was still far from comfortable.

"Had to happen to me, eh?" You say to Beth, who can't help but let out a short breathy laugh.

"Maybe he's an Everton fan." Jen proposes and you laugh with a nod. "Left it a bit long, didn't he?" Steph replies with a feigned confusion.

You walk to the bench with the physio, doctor and Beth, with the rest of the team giving you a few more supportive words and pats on the back before heading back to their places on the pitch. It wasn't as if they were going to cancel the game over one rowdy wanker, after all, besides there was less than ten minutes left.

"Are you okay?" Jonas asks as you approach the Arsenal bench and you nod, being brought in for a quick hug before he adds, "That was totally unacceptable. We'll need to address it with the club. Get more security." He sounds angry, and not just with your assailant. You hadn't really had the time to process what had happened given how fast it had all been, but as you sit down at the team bench, receiving another warm reception from the girls there, the ones who'd been playing in the first half, you begin to get where he's coming from. How could that be allowed to happen? What if the guy had a weapon? What if-

"My girl." Your thoughts on what could have happened are interrupted by an unmistakable voice, Leah. Putting that Southern pronunciation on the word 'girl' that you loved so much, but sounding just as worried as everyone else who'd spoken to you did. The blonde wastes little time in leaning down to envelop you in a hug from where you sit, and you return it with a smile, letting out a breath you hadn't known you'd been holding in, and it coming out shaky much to your confusion. You felt fine.

"Good thing you weren't on the pitch, otherwise that prick probably wouldn't have left it." You joke with a small smile as the two of you pull apart and Amanda to your left budges up so Leah can sit down next to you, her brows furrowed in that steep arching frown she liked to do. The match in front of you continues as it had before. Alessia sits on your right, trying to be considerate by not unnecessarily intruding but occasionally giving you a side glance with a smile.

"Honestly, if they hadn't gotten to him first. Fucking wanker." Her blue eyes dart to the side, momentarily looking out to the pitch before returning to you. She reaches out an arm and wraps it over your shoulder, pulling you close, you have no objection, and you can't resist the amused huff of air you let out at the thought of what Leah might have done if she had been there and had two properly working legs.

A small comfortable silence settles between you both until the defender asks, "You alright?" and you nod almost on instinct, giving her a smile. "Yeah. Head hurts a little, but I did just get punched." You joke, but Leah doesn't laugh, or even smile, instead penetrating you with those deep blue eyes. "I know that, dummy, they wouldn't sit you on the bench if you were hurt like that. I meant the other kind of alright."

You shrug and for the first time since you'd seen her, your eyes drift off to the pitch and you shift in your seat. Yeah, you were fine. But, the idea that you might not be didn't sit right with you, or rather, the idea that Leah and by extension the rest of the team might not think you are.

"You mean if I'm all... shaken up? Quaking in my boots?" You retort with some dry wit and a slight smirk, putting some faux dramatism on your words as you glance back to Leah for a moment before returning your eyes to the game. You felt fine, but the question seemed to stir something in you, applying a light pressure to your chest that wasn't there before. You didn't like it.

Leah didn't seem amused and you feel her stare boring into the side of your face, inspecting you almost. "Yeah." Is her short reply, as if she isn't looking to entertain your attempts at humour. As if she takes the incident more seriously than you do.

You shrug again and look over to the blonde with an expression that borders between nonchalance and indifference. "Then yeah, I'm all good in that department too. If fucking Jack Grealish can handle a punch then I think I'll be fine." That one seems to have some effect on Leah's stern, concerned demeanour and she gives a small smile, shaking her head slightly as if reprimanding herself for not knowing better to expect any other kind of answer from you.

But she tightens her arm around you just a bit regardless, pulling you in just a little more than you already were, even as she turns away to face the pitch as the game approaches the final whistle, her eyes lingering on you a little longer. "Alright.. but if that changes, you know I'm here, right?" She asks with a sincerity that makes you a little uncomfortable, partly because you'd always been a little awkward around more heartfelt exchanges of emotions, and partly because.. well you couldn't really figure out that other feeling, but it adds to that small pressure on your chest.

"Yeah, I know." You get out with a firmness, more to reassure the defender that you'd be willing to open up in that sense than anything else. You weren't sure if you ever would, even if your feelings did change. But, you were.. confident that they wouldn't. You felt fine, after all.

The final whistle blows not long after.

.....

The hum of fluorescent lights fill Meadow Park's comparatively humble locker room as the team trickles in, sweaty and exhausted from a relatively hard fought win. There's the usual post-match banter, the teasing, the recounting of the odd tackle and the two winning goals. But there's also a.. tension in the air, an undercurrent of concern and empathy directed toward one player in particular and unfortunately you're all too aware of it.

You take your usual spot by your locker, trying to blend in with the post-game routine as seamlessly as you can. You begin to unlace your boots, your fingers working with a rehearsed, mechanical precision. You didn't like it when people fussed over you, and you always tended to think that their attention was better spent or even better deserved elsewhere. You didn't really like being the centre of attention either, positive or negative. So, sitting here, and knowing that every now and then a different set of eyes would glance over at you, or that every second conversation featured you in some capacity, it wasn't a fun feeling, even if all of it derived from the most kind intentions.

You slip your cleats off and lean back against your locker as you sit in your cubby, looking up at the ceiling and releasing your second shaky breath of the night against your will. That pressure on your chest hasn't gone away and it's beginning to annoy you as you close your eyes and try to relax yourself, feeling oddly tense.

Between the chaos of the initial aftermath, your conversation with Leah and some of the banter you'd tried to get yourself involved with during the short walk to the locker room after their celebration, you hadn't really had the time (or the desire) to really think back to the incident or process it. It'd happened what? Thirty minutes ago? Yet, it already felt significantly longer.

Your hand reaches up absentmindedly to rub at your right temple as images flash one after the other of the experience. You on the ground, Beth kneeling in front of you and those two words that you hadn't even recalled until now. "Stupid cow." You scratch at your temple for a moment and open your eyes, shaking your head for a second or two as if to ward off the memory.

You let out another breath, and while this one isn't quite shaky, your breathing has gotten a little heavier.

Your hands clasp together and your fingers interlock as you idly rub your thumbs up and down the hand opposite to the one they each belong to. That pressure on your chest makes itself known a bit more and you swallow, your eyes surveying the locker room, not quite knowing what you're searching for but compelled to do it all the same. Why would someone do that? Why would a person just run out onto the pitch and hit a player? Hit you?

"Relax." You tell yourself.

It doesn't do much, and you have to put a hand down onto your knee to stop one of your legs from tapping itself up and down. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" You internally ask yourself. You felt fine. You had felt fine five minutes ago. You had felt fine after being punched in the side of the head. Why are you feeling like this now?

You shift in your cubby and take a deep breath (another shaky one, much to your frustration), trying to regain control of yourself. That fucking weight on your chest is still there.

"Y/N." You hear someone- Katie- say nearby, and you curse to yourself. "Yeah?" You ask with a slightly raised brow, trying to remain lowkey as you look to your left to see the forward standing not too far away next to her own cubby, shoving her boots into a large black duffel bag as she stares at you, most of the other girls are still in their own conversations. Thank God.

"You good?" She asks the question that you've become almost annoyingly familiar with in the past half hour and like before you nod impulsively. Though unlike then you're no longer quite so confident in the honesty of that natural response. "Yeah, all good. Why? Am I getting a bruise?" You say in an attempt to be light hearted, giving the brunette a small smile, but she only frowns back, causing you to swallow.

"Nah, just seemed like you were.. thinking 'bout something."

You break your stare and go back to what you're supposed to be doing, getting changed, leaving Katie unsatisfied as you find your own duffel bag next to you and begin putting your cleats into it. You begin to feel a slight burning at the bottom of your throat but try to ignore it, feeling the corners of your lips reactively curl downward even as you busy yourself with getting changed.

"Fucking idiot." You angrily say to yourself on the inside. "Stop being such a baby." You take off your Arsenal shirt and shove it into the bag with an unusual amount of force. That pressure on your chest grows heavier and your breathes with it. You aren't sure why you feel this way and you hate it. You've never felt like this before and you hate it. Why is this happening? You were fine before.

"Y/N." Your name is called again, only this time it's Leah, and she's standing right behind you, causing you to jump just slightly. Your heart beating a little quicker as you'd been facing your locker, back turned to the rest of the team. Katie must have gotten her.

You take your third shaky breath of the evening before responding with a falsely inquisitive, "Yeah?" as if you hadn't a clue what she'd want to talk to you about. You continue to face your locker, opening it up to take out your casualwear to give yourself a valid reason not to turn around.

"You wanna come with me? Need to talk." She says with a nonchalance that is deceptive. Ordinarily, if Leah needed to talk with someone, she wouldn't hesitate in using her regular old sternness to get the importance across. But, right now? Her tone was light and casual and you weren't an idiot. You know that she was treating this like some kind of sensitive situation when it wasn't. You'd gotten punched by some dickhead and that was it, end of story. It probably happened to a thousand people every day in Britain and you were no different.

"Yeah.. just lemme get dressed first." You reply, sliding on your trousers and feigning your own coolness and composure, though not nearly to the same effectiveness as Leah. Your breathing's still heavy and with each passing moment you begin to feel a growing sense of claustrophobia when you'd never suffered from that in the past. You want air. Maybe you need it. But, you can't let that show.

"Mind turning round, Y/N? It's bad manners not to look at someone when they're talking to you."

You won't let it show.

"Look, Leah. If this is about that dickhead again, I told you I'm all good." You retort dismissively, wanting to put the questioning to bed.

That pressure grows heavier.

"Well, I don't think you are."

Your heart beats faster.

"Oh, and what? You're in my head now are you?" Your frustration peaks through the façade.

Why are they still asking you about it?

"No. I just know when my friends aren't okay." Leah's concerned tone fades and she takes on a sterner one, a tough love one.

Why aren't you fine?

"Well you might want to get your radar checked because I'm fucking fine, Leah." Your brows furrow and you almost grit your teeth as that burning sensation creeps further up your throat. You shouldn't have sworn.

The rest of the locker room is becoming quieter.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Everyone's looking at you.

"Because you're fucking bothering me!" You yell angrily. And if there had been any conversations left in the room, they cease instantly, cloaking the team in a deafening silence.

You swallow and it almost hurts your throat. You blink and your eyes have a wetness in them that wasn't there ten seconds ago. Your chest lifts and falls dramatically and your hands have a light tremor in them.

But, you were fine ten minutes ago.

You feel a pair of hands take you gently by your waist and you presume them to be Leah's, having that presumption confirmed quickly as the defender turns you around slowly to face her. You don't resist, but you feel almost ashamed as you're rotated to face the rest her and the rest of the girls. You can't even look any of them in the eye, with your eyes dropping to the ground and becoming fixated on your feet because it's easier than looking at anything else.

"You're okay, my girl. You're safe." Leah says, her sternness morphing seamlessly into an almost painfully sincere softness and care as you're pulled in slowly for another hug, though your arms hang almost limply by your sides. You don't know what to do, or what to say, but you feel a stinging in your eyes and a pain in your throat that's becoming more pronounced by the second.

You bury your head into Leah's shoulder because you know you're about to cry, and you feel a surge of intense shame at the realization. Your arms reach up and finally wrap themselves around Leah. You know the rest of the girls are watching you, and it's embarrassing, but you don't know what else to do. You don't feel safe.

"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me." You finally let out into the blonde's shoulder, feeling the first tears roll down your cheeks. "I was okay and then.. this shit just came out of nowhere. I'm sorry."

Leah pulls away from you, but only slightly, one of her hands lifting your chin to level with her as she looks you dead in the eye, while her other hand reaches up to stroke your cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry about, understand? Nothing. No one thinks any less of you for this, Y/N."

You aren't entirely sure if that's true or not, but Leah, being the natural leader that she is, had a way of making people believe things or feel them even if they otherwise wouldn't. And you're not immune to that effect, nodding somewhat hesitantly in agreement, but nodding regardless as you feel that pressure on your chest lighten ever so slightly.

"The pitch should be a safe place for us and that dickhead tried to take it away." You hear Beth speak up, both to you but also to the rest of the room, with nods and murmurs of concurrence following throughout. Concern and heartbreak can easily turn to anger and a need for justice, and even in your frustratingly vulnerable state, you can see that change begin to take place in the confines of the locker room as the scene between you and Leah made it perfectly clear to everyone that you had been effected by that attack on more than just a physical level.

"Everyone's here for you, alright? Nothing like that is ever gonna happen again. Not to you, or anyone else in this game." Leah says, that steeply arched frown returning to her expression as a hint of determination reaches through her words.

She wipes away some of the tears that hadn't quite made their way down your cheeks and pulls you back into the hug, running her hand in circles along your back. "We're gonna make sure he regrets ever coming to this game." The Vice-Captain whispers into your ear with an intensity that almost makes you shiver, and in that moment, you find a piece of your confidence back.

You were confident that the girls had your back. You were confident that Leah would do whatever it took to get justice, and you were confident that one day that wanker would indeed regret ever even coming near you. But, most importantly, you were confident that you wouldn't allow him damage you, that you wouldn't allow him to have anymore significance in your life than a fucking footnote. Regardless of whatever happened next, revenge or not, justice or not. You were simply more valuable than that, and the girls would always help to remind you of that, even if sometimes it was hard to see.

Sometimes, your team felt like more than just a team, and tonight was one of those times.

///

End Notes: Hey, everyone! So this has been my first ever woso fic. I'm still trying to get to grips with pacing and getting some proper good angst, but I hope this is an enjoyable read and a good start!

#woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal women #awfc #reader insert #arsenal wfc #arsenal wfc x reader #woso community #leah is going to fuck shit up

[mariacallous]

Salman Rushdie has just published Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder. In August 2022, he was giving a talk at the Chautauqua Institution in New York. Hadi Matar, a 24-year-old from New Jersey, rushed the stage and stabbed him 15 times. It was astonishing that Salman survived. He lost the sight in one eye and sustained terrible injuries, but he’s still with us and he’s still writing, and unlike Hadi Matar, he’s still worth hearing.

We think of fanatics as stalkers with an obsessive knowledge of their targets.  Like the antisemites who compile lists of Jews in the media or the homophobes who so focus on the details of gay sex they might almost be closet cases

Most terrorists and bigots are not like that. They are like soldiers in an army who kill and hate for no other reason than tradition or men in authority have told them to kill and hate. If we were less fascinated by the pseudo-glamour of violence, we would see them for what they are: dullards and jerks.

In Knife Salman is almost as angered by the sheer lazy stupidity of his wannabee assassin as his violence.

“I do not want to use his name in this account. My Assailant, my would-be Assassin, the Asinine man who made Assumptions about me, and with whom I had a near-lethal Assignation … I have found myself thinking of him, perhaps forgivably, as an Ass.”

The ass “didn’t bother to inform himself about the man he decided to kill. By his own admission he read barely two pages of my writing and watched a couple of YouTube videos”.

That was enough, apparently, along with a little light indoctrination in the Levant.

We know from Matar’s mother that her son changed from a popular young man to a moody religious zealot after visiting her ex-husband in the Hezbollah-controlled town of Yaroun in Lebanon, a mile or so from the Israeli border.

“I was expecting him to come back motivated, to complete school, to get his degree and a job. But instead, he locked himself in the basement. He had changed a lot. He didn't say anything to me or his sisters for months.”

Salman quotes a wonderfully perceptive line from Jodi Picoult

“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

Rushdie is openly contemptuous, as he has every right to be.

“I see you now at twenty-four,” he writes, “already disappointed by life, disappointed in your mother, your sisters, your father, your lack of boxing talent, your lack of any talent at all; disappointed in the bleak future you saw stretching ahead of you, for which you refused to blame yourself.”

This has always been the way. Readers old enough to remember 1989 when the Ayatollah Khomeini ordered Salman’s execution for writing a blasphemous satire of Islam’s origin story in the Satanic Verses,will know that Khomeini had not read it. Nor had the furious demonstrators in the streets or the regressive leftists and Tory ministers who upbraided him for the non-crime of causing offence.

Those of us who had read the book pointed out that it was a magical realist fiction which contained sympathetic accounts of the racism Muslim immigrants in the UK suffered. Indeed, the Tories of the day loathed Salman, we continued, because of his confrontations with official racism.

But after a while we fell silent. Pleading with his enemies felt demeaning. It gave them undeserved credit, as if they were reasonable people, who could be swayed by evidence rather than just, well, pillocks.

In Knife Salman attempts an imaginary conversation with his persecutor.

OK, he says, Islam, unlike Judaism and Christianity, holds that man is not made in God’s image. God has no human qualities, it says.

But isn’t language a human quality? To have language, God would have to have a mouth, a tongue, vocal cords and a voice, just like a man. The terrorist’s understanding is that God cannot be like a man, however. So, God could not have spoken to Gabriel in Arabic. Gabriel must have translated his message when he came to the prophet.

The angel made it comprehensible to Muhammed by delivering it in human speech which is not the speech of God.

Thus, the version of Islamic instruction Matar received in his basement when he switched from playing video games to listening to Imams was an interpretation of a translation.

“I’m trying to suggest to you that, even according to your own tradition, there is uncertainty. Some of your own early philosophers have suggested this. They say everything can be interpreted, even the Book. It can be interpreted according to the times in which the interpreter lives. Literalism is a mistake.”

For a while, Rushdie says he wants to meet Matar again at the trial, as if he wants to have the argument in the flesh.

He tells a story about Samuel Beckett, which could only have happened to Samuel Beckett.

Beckett was walking through Paris in 1938 when he was confronted by a pimp named Prudent, who wanted money from him. Beckett pushed Prudent away, whereupon the pimp pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the chest, narrowly missing the left lung and the heart.

Beckett was taken to the nearest hospital, bleeding heavily. He only just survived.

You will never guess who paid for his treatment. James Joyce, of course, he did.

Anyway, Beckett went to the pimp’s trial. He met Prudent in the courtroom, and asked him why he had done it. This was the pimp’s reply: “Je ne sais pas, monsieur. Je m’excuse.” (I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry.)

But the more he thought about it, the less Rushdie had to say to his enemy. The idea that you can have theological arguments with a man who wants to kill you for writing a book he hasn’t even read felt ridiculous.

Although popular culture is full of stories about murderers, and true crime podcasts top the charts, killers and fanatics are nearly always less interesting than their victims. More often than not they are just thick. Nasty and vicious, but thick first of all.

We are about to see the stupidity of fanatics deployed on a mass scale. Two thirds of Republican voters (and nearly 3 in 10 Americans) continue to believe that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, and that Joe Biden was not lawfully elected. They think it because that is what Trump told them to think.

Islamists told Matar that Salman was an apostate, and that was all he needed to know. Trump told Republicans the election was stolen and ditto.

If Republicans were consistent people, they would not vote for Trump in 2024. What would be the point? They would have every reason to fear that the deep state would rig the 2024 presidential election as it rigged the 2020 presidential election.

But they will vote for him because, once again, that is what he tells them to do.

In the end there is a limit to how much attention you can pay the vicious and the stupid.

They are not interesting enough, as Rushdie concluded with marvellous disdain as he contemplated the life sentence Matar will face.

"Here we stand: the man who failed to kill an unarmed seventy-five-year-old writer, and the now 76-year-old writer. Somewhat to my surprise, I find I have very little to say to you. Our lives touched each other for an instant and then separated. Mine has improved since that day, while yours has deteriorated. You made a bad gamble and lost. I was the one with the luck… Perhaps, in the incarcerated decades that stretch out before you, you will learn introspection, and come to understand that you did something wrong. But you know what? I don’t care. This, I think, is what I have come to this courtroom to say to you. I don’t care about you, or the ideology that you claim to represent, and which you represent so poorly. I have my life, and my work, and there are people who love me. I care about those things.”

[lotusmi]

SUCCESS STORY!!🤎🧸

tw//mental problems, abusive family, bullying, suicide attempt, manifest/void obsession

first of all i want to thank lotus because it helped me even when i was thinking about suicide❤️‍🩹

it's been years since I learned loa and I was having problems with the manifest. althought I have known loa for 2-3 years, i constantly reacted to 3D and for such reasons I could not manifest anything for 2-3 years. and when i first learned loa i was obsessed with void. I was hurting myself to enter void. like if you don't enter void today I will kill you. i was crazy because of void. at the same time, I was staying in the family environment that dragged me to death, and I was bullied at school . i was hated by people even though i did nothing. i tried to commit suicide many times, my family wouldn't let me go to the therapist. also, no one said anything to the bullying I saw. thats why I bullied myself for years in the same way. if I told anyone I was being bullied and asked for help, they would say it was probably my problem to my face💀💀 and towards the end of 2022, i seriously couldn't stand it anymore. i was constantly reading blogs [i think there is no blog i haven't read, lmao] and the last time i couldn't stand it, i tried suicide again, but i failed. later i wrote to lotus and she gave me a lot of advice (baby ily😩❤️) and i cried more than i have ever cried that night. the problem is that while people were already ruining me, the real problem was that i was ruining myself too. after that day, in the first week, i had so many problems in my manifest journey. but until 2023, i said to myself, "i don't want to live like this anymore. i deserve the life I want.” i made a promise. and every time I felt like quitting, i remembered my promise to myself. and now i have revised my whole life, i live in dubai🤭. if you're going to ask how i did this, i started to listen to my inner voice, i almost stopped entering tumblr. i stopped affirming and wrote down the things that i was gonna revise one by one, and added them to the notes app on my phone. i made a note at the bottom that I already have these in my life. when “what if I can't manifest the life I want?” if such thoughts came to my mind, i told myself that the creation was already finished. in this process, i focused only on myself and was developing my self concept. before I went to bed at night, i was constantly imagining the life I wanted and I was staying in that state and saying I already had the life I wanted, I didn't affirm anything extra. and even those who made life difficult for me started to apologize to me. (i manifested their karma life lol) anyway I don't want to talk more about those bitches but I want to mention this. please take a break. relax. stay away from things like void, loa for a few days. I noticed that some of you are obsessed with void on this blog. but i must say void is just a method. if i manifested the life i wanted when i was only 12-13 years old, you can do it too. take a break and do what feels good to you. love yourself. loa blogs can help you up to a point. they can't spare all their days for you. start taking responsibility. find manifest methods that work well for you. love yourself. meditate. i’ve talked a lot but I would like to add that, if someone tells you that you are the cause of the circumstances you are experiencing right now, that you created the conditions in which you live, please tell them to shut their fucking mouths. no such thing. i was blaming myself again, thinking what a disgusting monster i am just because this “you create ur reality” thingy. but the truth is that creation is already over. good luck!

MY FAV SUCCESS STORY TO EXIST!!!! 😭

I literally cried when this girl texted me saying she is living her dream life, I was so pround, I am pround 💗

Backstory, she first texted me 12/15/2022

She told me everything about her circumstances, they were really bad ones, and she was 12 at time and this made my heart so broken (she revised her age) since her parents were really toxic and disgusting ( I am not going to say much about her old story).

So I told her all about the toxic home I lived and how I manifested it away too (my success, my failures).

So, time passed and 01/feb I got this text!

I literally cried because I was so happy for herrrr 💗😭😭

"How she did it?"

She focused in her inner Self being the only reality and ignored all circumstances!

"and i would love to you to add those youtubers and blogs" insta: - kriston jackson youtube: - lana blakely tumblr: - @becomingthatgirl111 — other sources abt loa: - joe dispenza, edward art"

I literally cried so much and I am so happy for you my angel, look how you did it! You were 12 and revised your whole life! 💗💗💗

And that are people out there who don't believe that it is possible to manifest things. Look at this girl 💓

You did it amazing love, I am so pround of you. You are deserving of all the best things in the world. I wish you all the fun in life. Thank you sm for sending me this, I feel so appreciated that I had helped you, but who did all of this was YOU! 💗💗💗

✉️You all, everything is possible!

#neville goddard #law of assumption #loa tumblr #loa advice #loa blog #manifesting #success story #living in the end #loatumblr #Lotuses success

[blooming-violets]

Nicest Thing Peter x Reader for 11. In joy? I really like that fic. I reblogged it on my old account. I feel like thats an underrated fic of yours (maybe bc it came out in 2022? Idk). Would love to see what happened to them!

It's still one my favs because it is just so...me?? Like if I had to chose anything that represented my personality perfectly, it would be Nicest Thing. Just a depressed, sad bitch who loves angst and Peter Parker and enjoys Kate Nash. I feel like I need another Kate Nash song for this "sequel" fic. I'll base it off her song Trash because these two are trash for each other.

You can read this as a separate, on its own Peter x Reader thing if you'd like or you can read it as a future piece to Nicest Thing.

Warnings: Smoking a joint and getting stoned

If porn bots can over take all the tags then I better not get flagged for these gifs.

Peter looked at her through blazed out, squinting eyes. A haze of smoke filled their bathroom as they passed the joint back and forth between them. They were seated in the unfilled tub, fully clothed, and facing each other. She had made him take the spot next to the faucet under the claims that sitting over the drain made her feel “icky” like she might get sucked in. He didn’t mind. Even if their leaky faucet kept dripping cold water over his shoulder. 

“Do you remember the Rugrats episode when Tommy and Chuckie are afraid of getting sucked down the bathtub drain because Angelica tells them a story of some other baby who died that way?” He asked, handing her off the joint. 

She placed it between her lips and he watched with a slow blinking, admiration for her. He loved her. She had been with him through everything. He owed his entire life to her. Without her in his life, he would no longer be here. She was everything important in the world. 

She smiled, remembering, and let out the most beautiful laugh. She always got extra giggly when they smoked. It was one of his favorite sounds. 

“Don’t they fill the drain with play-doh and shit? It’s a weird reddish, pink color. Why do I remember that specific color so much?” She replied, mystified. 

Peter chuckled, “Because old school Rugrats was filled with some crazy ass imagery. It sticks in your mind.” 

“Yeah but I remember thinking that I specifically wanted to eat that color...like maybe it would taste nice…like the imaginary food from Hook.” She passed it back to him, letting the smoke exhale in a little, circular puffs from between her lips. 

“Do you want to get into a pretend food fight with me and see if anything appears?” He grinned. 

Her red rimmed eyes squinted back at him as she laughed, “With the way these munchies have been hitting me the past few minutes, I think it might actually happen. I could imagine food hard enough to make it show up.” 

His mind started to wander as a hungry smile spread across his face, imagining all the food he could eat, and he spoke with a dreamy whisper, “Pizza bagels.”

“What?”

“Let’s make pizza bagels. ‘M hungry. Starvin’. Gonna die if I don’t get some food in me.” 

Her eyes glowed with excitement at the idea, “Pizza bagels. Yes, you’re a genius!” 

“I know,” he giggled, it bubbled out of him without any self control. It wasn’t the weed that did it. It was her. He felt free when he was with her. He flicked out the joint against the ashtray balancing on the edge of the tub. “I really am. Smartest man alive, probably.” 

She snorted, “Okay, I wouldn’t go that far. Get your ego in check, Parker, before I have to slap some sense back into you.” 

He beamed at her, his love consumed him, feeling it outshine every other emotion rattling around inside of him. She was beautiful. Stunning. Picture perfect. He wanted to hang her up on his wall like an expensive piece of art so he could admire every day of his life. 

Her shoulders shrunk up to her ears under the intensity of his gaze.

“Stop that,” she whispered. “Don’t look at me with those eyes or I’ll kick you. I’ve got a perfect aim for your crotch in this position.”

Peter shook his head, “Nope, sorry, I refuse. I can’t help it. You look…perfect. The nicest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“You’re stoned.” 

“Yes. Doesn’t change the fact that your lips look very enticing.” He winked at her and tried to scoot forward to get a taste. 

Her socked foot landed against his chest, pushing him back in place, “I thought we were making pizza bagels, not kissing. Weren’t you just starving a minute ago?” 

“Starving for you, maybe.” 

“Peter!” She let out a loud laugh, keeping him at bay with her outstretched leg. 

He was so in love. Completely enamored. Whipped. Head over heels. Trash for her. Whatever he wanted to call it. He belonged to her so wholly. His bleeding heart was in her hand for the rest of his life. He would follow her to the ends of the earth and back again. 

“If you don’t let me kiss you right this very second, I am going to turn this shower on.” His hand reached over his shoulder to grip onto the shower knob with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

She gave a sharp inhale, “You wouldn’t dare.” 

His eyebrows raised, taking on that challenge, “Oh really?”

She knew she fucked up the second before the shower burst to life. From his position in the tub, it shot over his head to spray directly into her face. She shrieked and fell back, sliding down the sloped edge of the tub until she was nearly on her back.

It was all the opportunity he needed to pounce. He leapt on top of her to the sound of her laughter and blocked the shower stream from her face with his back. His arms wrapped protectively around her head as he laid over her. Water pooled around them, warming their bodies, and soaking through their clothes. 

They didn’t feel it. 

All he could feel was the devoted love burning a hole in his chest where his heart used to be. 

She giggled up at him, blinking water droplets from her eyes, and whispered, “You’re an ass.”

He laughed in response and crashed his lips over hers, mumbling against them, “You love me.” 

She sighed in content. Her arms snaked around his neck to draw him closer, melting happily into his kiss. 

“I do.”

#i will take every opportunity to stick this man in a tub or shower #andrew garfield #tasm #tasm x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm peter #tasm peter x reader #tasm fic #tasm peter fic #tasm peter parker fic

[sambuckylibrary]

SamBucky Summer Bingo 2024

The @sambuckylibrary will be holding a Summer Bingo! The event will start on June 1st and run until August 31st. During that time, we will be reblogging and sharing the work you guys create here on our blog.

You can post fanfiction, art, fic rec lists, comments, moodboards, podfics, edits, etc. It’ll be a low-stakes event. No need to sign up. Just remember to tag @sambuckylibrary in your post for each fill, and we will be tracking #sbsummer2024 for reblogs.

If you are posting on AO3, please add it to the SamBucky Summer Bingo 2024 Collection.

The Bingo Cards are:

There are also badges for each fill. For those badges, as well as the FAQ and rules, check the information under “keep reading”.

FAQ

What is this?

It’s a SamBucky bingo event.

Is there any pressure?

No pressure at all. Fill one prompt. Fill all the prompts on every bingo card. Do however many you please.

Can I fill more than one prompt with one piece of art/one fic?

Yes! You can fill one prompt with one piece of art or fic. You can try to fill all nine prompts on the card at once with one piece of art or fic. If you can fill every single prompt from every single bingo card in one fill, that’d be wild but it’s okay by the rules. You can do any number in between.

Are there any prizes for making anything for this event?

Just the satisfaction that you made something cool.

Is it just SamBucky?

Yes please, just SamBucky. There can be side ships, but the main ship should be SamBucky.

How long will this event run?

It will run from June 1st and run until August 31st.

I heard there are badges I can use for each fill?

There are! Here they are:

1) Vacation Bingo Badges

2) Mission Bingo Badges

3) Loving Bingo Badges

RULES AND GUIDELINES

What are the guidelines for the bingo?

I will be borrowing some of this from the MYSU Valentine’s Day Bingo 2022 Guidelines, since they were fantastic.

For Everyone:

1. Remember to @sambuckylibrary in the post as well as #sbsummer2024.

2. Please also tag the prompt you’re filling (for instance, if the square is “Redwing”, use “#redwing” as one of your tags when posting about it on Tumblr).

3. If you’re uploading to AO3, please:

a ) Say somewhere which prompt you’re filling.

b ) Add it to SamBucky Summer Bingo 2024 (SamBucky_Summer_Bingo_2024).

For Artists:

1. Create at least one piece of new art that can’t have been posted anywhere else before this.

2. All visual art forms are welcome:

a ) Gifsets, at least 3 gifs.

b ) Aesthetic boards or moodboards, at least 4 images each.

c ) Drawing/painting, that is not a sketch.

d) Fan video.

e) Graphics edit.

For Authors:

1. At least 500 words.

2. Posted on Tumblr or AO3.

3. Can be part of a series, but should work as a standalone.

For Podficcers:

1. The podfic should at least be 5 minutes long.

2. It should be posted on either Tumblr or AO3.

3. The podfic can be of a fic made for the event, a fic not made for the event while still adhering to the prompt, or a notfic.

For Fic Rec Lists:

1. You must have at least three fics or podfics on the rec list.

2. Make sure to give brief descriptions of the fics or podfics as well as their rating and wordcount.

For Commenters:

1. Any amount of comment counts, from a heart emoji (“❤️”) to an essay.

2. We would rather this be about what makes you happy and joyful about reading than any scathing critiques.

Things to be mindful of when creating:

For Sam

Avoid framing Sam only as a caretaker or emotional support for Bucky. Be mindful of Sam acting angry or aggressive in an out-of-character way and falling into the angry/sassy Black man trope (check out the MCU source material to help with character traits).

Avoid decentering Sam as a main character and refrain from focusing entirely on Bucky.

In art: avoid whitewashing Sam’s skin and research drawing Black characters.

General disclaimer: Race affects every aspect of his life, including interacting with police/government and the white structures of the world when it comes to performing his duties as Cap and simply being a Black man that lives in the U.S.

For Bucky

Avoid phrasing “flesh/normal/human hand” to refer to the contrast between his prosthetic arm and his right arm. The phrasing is ableist. You can simply refer to his prosthesis when relevant, otherwise use “right/left arm/hand”.

For more information, please check out this document suggested by @ninesdb on how to write Bucky as an amputee. @ninesdb is also open to questions if you have any queries not answered by the google doc.

Specific Tags:

Avoid tags in AO3 like “Sam Wilson is a Gift”, “Sam Wilson is a Saint”, and “Bucky Needs a Hug”.

Have fun and we look forward to your TFATWS Anniversary fics!

- The Mods

#sbsummer2024 #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky fan event #sambucky fanfiction #sambucky art #sambucky edit #sambucky moodboard #sambucky fic rec list #sambucky podfic #mod: thatmexisaurusrex

[zombee]

I feel like the luckiest Our Flag Means Death fan in the world after the season 2 finale. By a series of incredible circumstances - including a significant metatextual realization that came in at the 11th hour - it was close to perfect for me.

This essay has everything. Completely normal behavior over a television series. Steven Universe references. The David Jenkins School of Whatever is Best for the Bit. Humbling catharsis.

First: this piece does not exist with the central thesis of “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad.” I feel like thousands of words have already been written on this since Thursday, so I’m going to try to not get too in depth on that.

Second, cards on the table, because it’s relevant and I don’t want to waste your time if this is going to sour your ability to hear me out: I’m an Izzy Canyon hater. For MANY reasons, but from way before the concept of the Canyon existed, (some) Izzy fans pinged me in the same way as Snape/Kylo Ren fans did, and before May 2022 was over I went from genuinely enjoying Izzy’s character and place in the narrative to hating him because his fans made it impossible for me to enjoy him anymore.

(SOME! of his fans. Please don’t keep making me say this, although I’m not going to talk about the Canyon directly anymore after this. I know there are a ton of normal Izzy Enjoyers and even Canyonites, I am literally friends with many of them, please take this all in the good faith it’s intended and if you’re not One Of The Bad Ones then you’re fine! I very carefully don’t go anti-Izzy on main, and when I stopped enjoying his character, I stopped writing him into fics. I’m not trying to be a dick, I just want to be honest. Anyway.)

The season 2 finale made me weep over Izzy Goddamn hands.

ALL season long, I was disgruntled. All season long. I really, truly, DEEPLY appreciated what they were doing with his character and arc, I thought it was wildly on brand for the themes of community/queerness in the show, I saw the vision, I liked it!!! But. I wanted a fucking apology, yall. I needed three seconds of “sorry I called you a slur, Ed :/” and that would have been enough. But I had to let it go. It was poisoning my enjoyment of the whole season, which I loved with very little exception (not none!) and I just had to let it go. I wasn’t getting an apology. That didn’t negate what they were doing with his character.

Yall. They withheld the apology on purpose.

THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!

Let’s go back a bit. I was at the episode 6 + 7 screening, and the breakup shook me. Probably a LOT more than if I had watched it alone in bed at 3am on my laptop - five days of no sleep after NYCC, lots of emotions, seeing it on a big screen with a hundred other intense fans, etc etc - but I did see other folks reacting in parallel ways to me when the episodes aired to the regular public, so maybe I would have felt the same way. Regardless, I was mad at Stede and to a lesser extent Ed. I NEEDED AN APOLOGY FOR THAT FISH LINE. I needed it! “Whativah” autocorrects to “WHATIVAH” in my phone. I was going through it.

(When I rewatched the episode when it aired it was not nearly as bad as I remember, lol)

So now the episode 8 screeners go out and the reviews drop and I think I catch one half-glimpse of a “What a heartbreaking ending!” kind of snippet, and some of my friends who are spoiler fiends unintentionally drop little hints about similar ideas (devastating/heartbreaking/split the fandom) type shit.

And I was a fucking WRECK! about it.

I do love this whole show with my whole chest. I do!!! But I’m not rotted because this is an excellent television show, I’m rotted because two old men kiss each other! On the MOUTH!!! in an excellent television show. You get it, right? I’ve written 700,000 words across almost 100 fics and 98% of them are dedicated to those two men falling in love in different universes. 

So it just did not even occur to me the “heartbreak/devastation/fandom split” would be about anything but Gentlebeard.

Another piece of this that was fucking me up - David Jenkins and his “satisfactory” ending biz. My brain was reacting like this show was ENDING ending, even if I knew logically! that this is just season 2!!! And I wasn’t ready for that, because what if it wasn’t personally satisfying, and I’m a mess about it? Why was I so worried about not liking it? I’d liked the whole season! Even if they didn’t nail the landing I wasn’t going to stop writing fic or hanging out with my pirate community & friends. 

…is what I kept trying to tell myself, but the way anxiety disorders work is funny like that lol. What if I did stop writing fic and hanging out in pirate spaces? That would hurt much more than a show I like disappointing me. And for anyone who’s having that experience with ofmd s2, I’m so very, very sorry. It sucks and that’s where my epiphany came from on Wednesday before the finale.

Because it has happened to me before.

I flit from hyperfocus to hyperfocus, as ya do when you’re spicy, but the last thing to get its hooks in me PROPERLY like pirates was Steven Universe. And I did NOT like the way the regular season ended!!! (I actually really did like most of Future; that’s not what I mean. I mean season 5). I don’t like how they handled the Diamonds, tldr; I think the scope of their villainy got too out of hand, and I was left grieving the thing that had meant enough to me I ran a fan convention for four years based around it. 

Side note: imagine if I had channeled the hyperfocus of almost a million words of fanfiction into an American OFMD con instead. We could have made magic :( I did consult with Our Con Means Death though so I am at least a teeny tiny bit of that one!

I did not like the way Steven ended… but I do respect the story they were telling and think they told it well.

I’m still sad about it. Steven is still one of my most beloved, it will always be beautiful and great to me, but that experience did and does sully my memories. There is so, so, so, SO much more good than bad from being in that fandom, and I cherish it. And I hope, if you’re having this experience with OFMD right now, that you’ll find similar comfort.

But, like I said at the top, “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad” has been belabored already by people better at writing about it than me. I just had the incredible privilege to remember my brush with lower case T trauma and having that experience in my last REALLY big deal fandom. That’s why I had been so extra anxious about being disappointed. Because it happened to me before. It helped so much to connect those two.

So the finale happens, and it’s actually about twelve hours of me going from “eh, rushed but fun, whole season was great” to “THIS MAYBE IS THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME, ACTUALLY!”

BECAUSE THIS SHOW MADE ME CRY OVER IZZY FUCKING HANDS!!!!

They literally told me this was the story they were telling this season. “Men can change” “The end  of piracy” “Ed leaving Blackbeard behind (ish).”

As for me? I didn’t get an apology for the fish. Instead, I got “Sorry I was a dick.” “You weren’t a dick. Life’s a dick.”

Just… fuckity BAM. THREE FUCKING SENTENCES resolving that fight. Saying so much in so little.

In real life, should these two men have an actual conversation about this shit? Sure!!! But that’s not how OFMD tells its stories!

It works in symbolism. It works in vibes. It works in an hour’s worth of content into each half-hour episode, and for how much lamenting I have done about the pacing, I would prefer that 100x to having to stretch it out too much.

I have said since March 24, 2022 that OFMD wields anachronism as a weapon. First and foremost, it’s fucking funny, but in addition to that, it’s stating clearly: “This is a fantasy world. This is not real history. This show is about romance (and so much more than that), and the rest is just VIBES!!!”

Sometimes vibes can be historical accuracy. Sometimes vibes can be true emotional poignancy. Sometimes vibes can be Ed finding his sunken leathers in the sea, changing underwater somehow, and coming out of the ocean like the Birth of Fucking Venus, because water and rebirth and mermaids and shit is all very prominent this season. And ALSO, and this is very important! BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING COOL!

I don’t want to do much real Izzy meta here. It’s been said by others, and better than me. But it was telegraphed and it was symbolic – he was the paragon of Traditional Piracy in season 1, for goodness’ sake, and Traditional Piracy is Toxic Masculinity, and he was a part of Blackbeard and Ed had to leave Blackbeard behind (yknow, ish), and he got this ABSOLUTLEY FUCKING LOVELY! storyline about appreciating what a (queer) community can do, and god fucking shit fucking dammit… most of all, best of all (for me), was Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave at the end. Men can change. And Izzy DID!!! He did it for Ed. For love. For community. I am puzzled by “it’s fucked up to use Izzy to further Ed’s storyline” because… this was Ed’s season, in the way that season 1 was Stede’s. And Ed cannot be removed from piracy as a whole (neither can Stede!) so to have this old, set in his ways, coded-queerphobic character blossom to the point he can give this gift to Ed and to piracy… idk man. I just find it so fucking beautiful.

It is okay not to like what they did. It’s okay!!! It’s okay, and it’s okay to mourn, and while it’s not okay to do [insert vile behavior here], it’s okay to carefully examine what you think is “bad writing” vs “what you would have preferred to happen” and give good-faith, textually-based criticism on that.

But I want to remind you over and over and over again, this show works on vibes. It tells its stories leaving many, many, many gaps. There are many things I would have liked to see, and y’know what? I would have told the Izzy story differently. I would have personally done it differently. But it’s not my show! It’s not my show, and I am humbled and delighted to remember that, and to appreciate Our Flag Means Death for what it is and not what it isn’t.

Other words have been written better than I could about the 18 months between seasons 1 and 2 and what that does to us as rabid fans with expectations of how things will go. Millions and millions and millions of words have been written about OFMD, fictional and non, and that is going to color our expectations and experience. We had built it up SO MUCH in our minds and along the way I think some of us forgot (INCLUDING ME!!!) that it is first and foremost about Vibes.

The vibes of Izzy’s death are about rebirth and forgiveness and leaving traditional piracy behind. And he got to die in Ed’s arms, knowing (HAPPILY!) that he had been wrong, and giving Ed the gift of letting him know he is loved, and being a part of something. We had a funeral but we also had a wedding. The only constant is change. Men, piracy, Blackbeard; it all changes. And Izzy found peace in that.

Before my last point, I want to @ myself on things I felt versus realizing in the end it is (I will say it until I’m blue in the face) about vibes.

· I was convinced they left Buttons’ transformation ambiguous because they wanted to leave room for it not having been real. NO!!! It is real, until they decided it isn’t. Magic in the OFMD universe? Fucking why not!!! IT’S SYMBOLIC!!! IT’S IMPORTANT TO ED’S STORYLINE AND THE CENTRAL THESES OF THE SHOW!

· I was unhappy, and still am a little, about the Polycule Situation, but now that I realize Oluwande is Zheng’s Stede… I am less so. The Zheng : Auntie :: Ed : Izzy vibes, btw? Fuckin immaculate.

·        Obviously they touched on Stede/Ed’s “killing people trauma” but I’d reallyyyy like Stede to address it, and even though I think Ed’s is left on a very satisfying note, I’d like him to dip a bit more into it as well. But if they don’t, oh well! It’s not like they ignored it, they just didn’t have a Deep Dive like I Wanted Them To!

· They didn’t deal with Ed throwing Stede’s shit away. They just ignored it! Stede started to collect new trinkets, and I believe that was as much about giving the audience back the old feeling of the Revenge as it was anything important (not to say it wasn’t also important thematically!!!). Just like Ed going back to his leathers is both Extremely Important thematically and about putting Taika back in the leathers because that’s what Blackbeard should be wearing for the epic final scenes for the sake of visually keeping the show consistent. That’s Blackbeard’s uniform.

· Stede’s frilly little outfits my beloved. God I hope they give him back some of his frippery in season 3. I think they will re: cursed suit BUT his journey this season was about something else, so!

· Ed’s stupid little non-profit non-apology, oh my god. It was so funny. And there is a transition from eps 5 to 6 where Ed is back in his leathers and the crew is more comfortable around him. They didn’t have to have him do a Real Apology, it’s implied it was all settled. What was the timeline? A day? DOESN’T MATTER, BABY, VIBES!!!

· Lots more, I’m sure, but now that I’ve tried to let it all go, I’m remembering less of what I wanted and appreciating what I got!

And, last point here, I think it is also very very very important to remember that a lot of people are normal about this show. In fact, WAY more people are normal about this show than aren’t. And that is EXTREMELY! IMPORTANT!!! because otherwise it wouldn’t be profitable and we all know what would happen then. We are the core of it, to be sure. Without word of mouth that stems from our intensity, this show would not be NEARLY as successful as it is. I truly, truly believe that.

But.

Do normies need deeply emotional discussions dissecting the central relationships? No. What normies need is Ed and Stede running dramatically toward each other on the beach and kissing. And I am happy, so fucking happy, to realize that’s what I need too. I’ve got fanworks for the rest.

I love this fucking show and this fucking fandom and its fucking creators so much. Fuck.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2

[nanowrimo]

How a First-Timer Wrimo Landed Literary Representation

NaNo participant Demi Michelle Schwartz shares her story on how NaNoWriMo helped her sign on with a literary agent! She also offers some lessons she learned from taking on the challenge — and maybe it'll inspire you too!

Are you an author with dreams of being represented by a literary agent? If so, I’m here to tell you that NaNoWriMo played a key role in my journey to signing with my agent, Michelle Jackson at LCS Literary.

I received an offer on the manuscript I drafted during my first NaNoWriMo in 2022. Fun fact, I signed my contract during November in 2023, exactly a year after writing the book. Reflecting back, there were choices I made that I hope will give you insight into how your NaNoWriMo project could lead to securing representation.

Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

I’ve been an avid reader of young adult mysteries and thrillers ever since middle school. For this reason, I naturally gravitated to those genres when I started writing books. Still, I’ve grown to appreciate all genres from my MFA in Writing Popular Fiction program at Seton Hill University, a top one being fantasy. When I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo, I stepped outside my comfort zone and drafted a young adult Little Red Riding Hood reimagining with Greek mythology.

Exploring a different genre led to me writing the book that got me my agent. So, if you’re interested in taking the NaNoWriMo challenge, consider trying something new. Along the way, you’ll expand your creative horizons.

Planning Before Taking the Challenge

Something I noticed after participating in NaNoWriMo twice now is that planning my books led to me feeling invested in them. As authors, we always have ideas bouncing around in our heads. Some stick, and others don’t. Taking time to explore my characters, plot, world, and more made me realize how much I loved what I was creating. Before I even started writing on November 1, I felt passionate about my story.

When you’re pitching agents, your goal is to sell your story. Having such a strong belief in your manuscript will allow you to authentically query it. Passion shines through, and if you care about your book, an agent may fall in love with it, too.

Taking Time to Receive Feedback and Revise

I can’t stress enough how important it is to receive feedback on your work and do several rounds of revisions. Once you draft a book during NaNoWriMo, it may be difficult to resist the temptation to send it out right away. Rather than querying a manuscript that isn’t ready, channel your eagerness to share your work into finding critique partners and beta readers.

For my manuscript, I did a revision on my own after winning NaNoWriMo. Then, I received critiques, made edits, and repeated this process until I felt my manuscript was ready. I queried my agent in August, and she offered me representation at the end of October. I truly believe the time and effort I put into polishing my book led to getting many full requests and my offer.

If I would have pitched the draft from NaNoWriMo, I’m 100 percent sure my email would have been flooded with only rejections. So, remember to take your time revising. The wait will be worth it when you begin receiving positive responses to submissions.

Now that it’s a new year, there’s a long runway before November arrives. It’s never too early to start planning your NaNoWriMo project. Since this challenge gave me the opportunity to draft the book that made one of my dreams come true, I hope you feel inspired to take a strategic approach to your NaNoWriMo project and give it wings to soar in the publishing world.

Demi Michelle Schwartz is a young adult fantasy and thriller author from Pittsburgh, PA, represented by Michelle Jackson at LCS Literary. After earning BAs in Creative Writing and Music from Seton Hill University, she went on to pursue her MFA in Writing Popular Fiction at Seton Hill and graduated with her degree in June of 2022. When Demi isn’t working on her manuscripts, she’s busy chasing her other dream as an award-winning songwriter and recording artist.

Check out her website, Twitter, and Instagram!

Header photo by Negative Space.

#nanowrimo #now what #writing #nanowrimo experience #publishing #by nano guest #demi michelle schwartz

[verstappurr]

𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 ; 𝐝𝐫

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: Hi! Could you please write something Dani Ric x fem reader? Please use fluff prompt 8 and smut prompt 22. Thanks ❤️❤️❤️

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and daniel go on a break after the season is over.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, minors DNI

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is my first time writing smut so i apologize if it’s bad

the season was finally over, which meant spending quality time with your husband.

after going through a roller coaster of emotions with mclaren and f1 itself, daniel felt relieved and ready to let go for a while after the 2022 season was over. that's why he decided on spending the holidays on the maldives, with you and your company only. he insisted on him needing to make up for the lost time even if you told him that wasn't necessary, that having him back home was more than enough.

so now you were in the maldives with your extremely stubborn husband who was begging you to go skinny dipping.

"daniel, i said no" you giggled, "why not? we have our own private pool" he said and gave you the cutest puppy eyes,"stop it with the puppy eyes, they won't work this time" you rolled your eyes "you sure?" he smirked,*stop manipulating me" "fine" he whined and made his way to the pool.

"your loss!" he spoke again as he stuck his tongue out at you, "you're a child!" you laughed and continued reading your book.

—

after spending the afternoon reading, tanning, and playing in the water with daniel, you went to have some dinner. as you were finishing your meal, you remembered what daniel had asked you some hours ago. you smirked to yourself, thinking about your master plan.

when you and daniel arrived at your bungalow, he said he needed to use the toilet. great, you thought to yourself and made your way out to the pool area. you took off the dress you had chosen for dinner along with your underwear and got in the water. you enjoyed the water for a bit before you heard daniel call out your name.

"here!" you said making your way to the pool edge and resting your arms there, "what are you doing?" he chuckled when he saw you, "wanted to go for a swim" you smiled at him.

that's when he noticed. you were in the pool, but he didn't see you putting a bikini on. he smirked and got a bit closer.

"you're naked aren't you" he looked at you, biting his lip "why don't you come and find out?" you flutter your eyelashes in an innocent way.

you had never seen daniel get rid of his clothes that fast.

he got in the water and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you into him and meeting your lips in a hot passionate kiss. you kissed back and ran your fingers through his soft curls.

just do it already" you moaned between kisses when he squeezed your ass, "so desperate" he smirked, wrapping your legs around his waist.

daniel pressed your back against the pool and slid his length between your folds, you bit your lip and wrapped your arms around his neck. he grabbed your waist and started pounding into you, making you whimper, "keep making those pretty girl, i want to hear you" he groaned softly as he increased the intensity of his movements.

daniel knew exactly how to treat his woman. he knew what you liked and where you liked it, which made the sex even better.

he kept pounding into you as his fingers found your sensitive bud and his mouth found your right breast.

"daniel" you moaned as you felt your orgasm building up, "that's it baby girl, cum for me" he encouraged you as his movements became faster, sending you to heaven and back. you let out one last moan as you came, daniel following behind a few moments later.

“fuck, i love you” he groaned before kissing you, “i love you more” you said, panting and leaving a soft kiss to his lips.

needless to say, that night in the maldives was really special. after a few weeks, you found out you were pregnant, and daniel insisted it was because you made love under the moon in the maldives.

#daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 driver x reader #f1 driver x you #f1 blurb #f1 fic #f1 smut

[pieroulette]

NOTHING BUT YOUR COLOUR

2022・ 18+ ・4k ・ oneshot — yandere trope

What colour do you first thought of when you heard the word 'love'?

CAST: PARK SUNGHOON X FEM! READER

WARNING: utter delusional and emotionally unstable! sunghoon, self harming; biting tongue, cuts w knives, Sunghoon slapping himself, murder thoughts, extremely possessive & obsession over reader, Sunghoon having a sexual fantasy for reader, hysterical reaction, trespassing territory, graphic scene; tongue mutilation with knife, blood, implied murder, smut, noncon (SA) - dubcon; nipple play, oral sex (female receiving), Sunghoon spitting saliva in reader's mouth, cockwarming, impregnation

"What's your favourite colour?"

Wouldn't that be the first question anyone would ask you whenever they first get to know you? Or when someone pick a gift for you?

Your favourite colour has to be the first thing you could've think of amongst the other colour, but why were they your favourite colour?

What makes them stand out amongst other colour?

Was it because of how pleasing they look? Was it because of how they made you feel when you gazed upon that colour? Does it give you a serene feeling? Bliss? Comfort?

Only you could know.

Sunghoon never knew what was his favourite colour however it wasn't until then when his lovely step-mother brought him with her to the clothing store, picking a numerous attire fitting for the merry and joyous occasion but to her dismay — the little boy doesn't look at all pleased with the material on his tiny palms.

His step-mother could only bend down to the boy's height, stroking the boy's face as she fixes his little bangs and asked him what colour does he like.

His face could only frown mirroring his thoughts scattered all over the place thinking what could be his favourite colour?

His ears were met with a low chuckle as he raised his head up only to be met with an amused expression splattered on his step-mother's face while she says, "Take your time, honey."

And as those words left her mouth, there he was strike with an epiphany — a sudden love for the colour adorning his step-mother's lips.

The colour that resembles the fruit on the shiny plate on the round table. The colour that appears on his father's cheeks whenever his step-mother mouthed something the little boy couldn't comprehend himself. The colour he sees when he stumbles upon a thorned flower laid on the wet street on his way back home.

That colour.

There he received his first present covered in a colour he likes and for the many years to come — it was his sole pick for the presents he was about to receive.

For the many years to come, he thought that colour only exists in among the objects he had encountered; whether it was the face of his teacher contorting into that colour when one of the students behind him were lacking manners during class, or when the female students almost tripped before him as she placed the heart-shaped letter on his hands and the very last thing he could remember was the face the girl had before running off, or when he sat on the bench among his friends and one of them has tears running down their cheek and that colour was present again.

The colour somehow exists everywhere.

He knew it was beautiful but he didn't knew it could be more exhilarating as the stars on the sky when his eyes gazed upon you.

It wasn't like you had the colour on you but it was how everything before you was submerged in that colour and at times it was deeper in shade and in other times it was a brighter shade.

The colour on you wasn't consistent.

It was wild, changing, quick, and exhilarating.

Before he knew it, his pale hands had been bathed in that same colour; flipping it up and down and as he look at himself in the mirror, his face has resembled those who had laid their eyes on him before — it was rushing up to his veins, his cheeks and his heart pounding inside his caged ribs.

It was his first time to felt that colour in his veins, but he knew it was you who had that colour. You made him felt that colour.

Everytime you were in his presence, that contagious colour you had on you had infected him each passing minute — it was like he was no longer his own colour but you.

He couldn't think of anyone but you.

But for the nth time, he didn't knew that colour could mean something else; something more sinister and evil.

His lungs was suffocating to it's core, tightening with each breathe to the point sweat trailed down forehead to his cheek and neck.

It was painful. It was humiliating and he couldn't believe that you were betraying him.

You. The girl he absolutely adore to the point he knelt down to kiss the ground for you and even thank the God he never believed exist in the first place.

But at the same time he loathes the God. He couldn't bring himself to stop vigorously shaking that he had to tighten the grip on his wrist with his other hand, but the metallic taste inside his tongue says otherwise as he had been biting it with his teeth — almost devouring it because if he didn't, then this place; this cafeteria would've become stained with that colour.

And that guy beside you having the words of joy written all over his face had his imagination run wild of how delightful it would be for him to end up on that colour someday but just a tiny messy and a tiny bit sinister.

His room was bathed in that colour as well and whenever he had a rough day because of homework or whatever that could've ruin his day — that colour never fails to bring him bliss but today was different.

It only reminds him of you and that guy beside you; a canvas he wishes to tore apart and dig his skin on that bastard.

The excruciating pain on his arm had him looking down to it, eyes dilating larger than it was before as he takes in the colour dripping down from his skin — gracing the floor with every drop it had along with the gleaming stained object laying on the carpeted floor.

Stroking the body of the knife with his dainty fingers, polishing it in a leisurely pace with the handkerchief his grandmother once bought for him as a present a few years ago.

Sunghoon let out a slow sigh as he pressed the tip of the knife still stained with the bits of the colour on his wet tongue, licking it off as he tasted the metallic taste but with each passings second — it turn out sugary along with the thoughts surfacing in his mind.

An eerie smirk adorned his face at last.

"No-.. No! Sunghoon! What the hell are you doing? Get away from me!" the agonizing scream coming out from the male desperately getting away from him had Sunghoon baffled, his menacing grin never leaving his face as he approached with every step he takes. "Please! Weren't we friends? We were doing all fine all this time! So why? Why?. .—"

A choke emits in the air along with tears streaming down Jay's face. "At least tell me what I have done wrong! We could talk this out! Please!—"

"Shut up, will you?" Sunghoon's maniacal glare had him shut his mouth instantly, lowering his head as he trembled in the deafening silence to avoid that empty soul inside the boy's eyes from devouring him.

"Why, why? You really got some guts to talk with my lover, aren't you?"

"W-what lover? Who— wait.. don't tell me it's (Name)—" the boy let out a gut wrenching scream as Sunghoon closes the distance between them in a swift speed, digging his nails in the Jay's jaw as he fiercely pried it open and despite the agonizing protests from the older boy. .

His cries of pain were only met with the colour draining away from his face and tongue while it contorts into the most excruciating pain mixed with the melodic sound through Sunghoon's ear and his face were graced with that colour although messy and filthy, it was a breathtaking sight as the wet slimy organ fell onto the rough ground.

"Don't you fucking dare say her name with that filthy tongue of yours. But oh well, guess you can't anymore—" Jay fell down on the ground with a loud thud, writhing in agonizing pain as he cupped his mouth with his hands — another maniacal grin graced Sunghoon's lips as he stand before him, his favourite colour dripped in numerous amount from the boy.

Sunghoon bend down in a leisure pace grabbing a handful of hair on Jay's head, forcing the boy to look into his soulless eyes that was once the beaming and innocent boba long time ago.

"Yah. Can't you just mind your own business without ogling your eyes to her direction? Without being so fucking nosy whenever she's around? Just why. Just why you're so fucking dumb, Jay?" a disappointed chuckle emits in the air as Sunghoon shakes his head, ruffling his dark hair in annoyance.

Everything the older male was force to witnessed were too much for him to take; the excruciating pain from the inside of his mouth mixed with the blood stench staining his shirt and splattered on Sunghoon's face.

All he could do was mumble and scream to his core for he could no longer make out words to say, not anymore.

Sunghoon giggles once again, his eyes turning into a second of innocence, "After I'm done with you, I'm going to take her with me.

Run. Run as fast as you could, farther and away as you can from him.

Your face was drained from blood, all white as soul left your body when you heard those last words from Sunghoon on the other line.

Jay's phone inside his pockets was on call the entire time and you heard it all. The gut-wrenching scream that had you shivered and Sunghoon's maniacal giggles.

You heard everything.

He's coming. He's coming for you. He knows where you live and anytime now, that window to your room are bound to get broken by him.

Run.

Because if he catch you, who knows what can he do to you.

And here you are now, inside the high school under the young and silent night sky — with no one to accompany you but the sole moonlight from the window as it reflects on the wooden floor.

It was eerily silent but you could hold on to this as best as you could if it meant he could never find you.

But you were all proven wrong when you heard a spine-chilling melodic whistle across the dark hallways of the school.

How—? How did he knew you were here?!

"(Name), I know you're here. My dumb little lover, how dense do you think I would be to not found out about that petty call you had with that bastard? . ."

Your eyes immediately welled up in tears upon hearing him from behind the doors.

"Knowing you, I knew when you were having a bad day or just wanting to have a day all by yourself — you won't be at home, in your room." Sunghoon's shoes playfully hops across the floor, taking a quick peek inside the windows. "You would be at our school, am I right?"

Your soul left your body as you clenched your fists in utter fear with each confession he made, how did he knew? He couldn't have been?— stalking you? . .

"Love, can you show yourself now? It's getting a bit late. We could've use this time to go on a date you know?"

"The night is still young . . Though if you wish to continue this further then I wouldn't mind. But there would be consequences if you don't show up right now." that last words had goosebumps run through your veins, there was no way you would come out and show yourself to him. No way.

Silence it was, and you wished nothing but for him to disappear — but it made Sunghoon more bitter as he waited. "Ah, have I gone far too rude? I'm sorry. ."

Huh? You trembled slightly when you heard pained cries from the hallway.

"Love, let me show you how I love you! How could you do this to me? How could you think of other man when I'm here ready to sacrifice my love for you, to kiss the ground graced with each step you took, to give you anything you could think of?" Sunghoon punched his chest in desperation as tears streamed down his clenched jaw, agonizing bawls of tears escaping from his mouth.

Blood drained from your face as you hid behind the classroom, curling your body to the extent it could get. You were getting tired. It was painful. You wanted all of it to end already. You wanted to go home! You don't want to be here, this is not what you wanted!

So why?

"Darling, show yourself! Please! You don't realise how much you're hurting me by acting like this. ."

"All I'm asking is to show yourself to me, is it too much to ask for?"

Heels halting it's step behind every door, crashing them open which was a complete contrast to the affection deep in Sunghoon's voice, "Where are you, love? Stop hiding, will you? I fear you might get hurt and I couldn't bear to see you in such state. Please. ."

You stayed as silent as you could, hiding behind the teacher's desk however everything happens in a split second when the door to the classroom crashes open, revealing the psychotic boy with his wide big grin.

"Found you."

You screamed in agonizing pain as he pulled you out from the teacher's desk, almost dragging you on your feet due to your protests.

"Love, stop acting like this! This is not you!" His eyes having pure affection mixed with pain in it had your heart swell in pain within a split second but ultimately turn into disgust when this isn't how you wanted your romantic life to turn out, unfortunately.

It could've been romantic in the sugary way possible, it could've made you blushed in utter mess if you weren't being dragged out by the tight grip this young boy had on you — if it wasn't because of his eyes holding so much craze and lovesick gaze on you–

You would've instantly went into his embrace and gladly accepted him.

"You're fucking delusional! You—" utter disgust engulfed your being up to your throat, "Y-you did s-something to Jay! Wha- What did you do?!"

His pained expression were suddenly replaced with something you couldn't comprehend.

"Why are you asking about that bastard when I'm here with you? Honey, look at me. I'm here for you and you're looking for that bastard?!" an irritated scoff escaped from Sunghoon's wet orange lips, rolling his eyes filled with tears and you winced in fear and he took notice of that, and suddenly his voice switched back to being sickeningly affectionate, "I told you right? That bastard is ruining my name in front of you while sweetening up his name and raising himself up— fucking bastard."

The last words made you tremble in fear. You knew he was insane but having to witness such psychotic tendencies of him mumbling nonsenses to himself in this dimly light classroom makes you wanna turn on your heels to the exit just right beside you.

To the hallways, to the street where there's people. Someone. Someone just please appear and save you from this nonsense!

"But don't worry, don't worry! He's gone now. There will be no one to ruin our love story anymore, no one to ruin your love for me. . Fuck. Nothing can take my love away from you, darling. .—" his softened eyes narrowed instantly when he realise what you were doing; taking small steps backwards while he was in his world. "Darling?"

Run!

Turning your heels around, you sprint towards the doorway with all your might as quick as you can — run, run! However your stomach sank to your core when you felt a harsh tug to your cardigan, pulling you to his direction. "(Name)! Stop struggling! You're making it so hard for us!"

"Fucking let me go— Agh!" you fell backwards to the floor in a loud thud; accidentally hitting your arm right to the desk next to you when you were thrashing around in his iron grip claws, hissing in pain as you blood dripping from the fresh cut but that didn't last long when Sunghoon quickly bend down to your level with that same expression once again.

"(Name)! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry please forgive me!" You wince in fear when he lowered his head to your arm, peppering it with soft kisses that had you whimpering. "I didn't meant to be harsh, it wasn't my intention. . Where? Did it hurt? Fuck, forgive me!"

Horrified you were when he began to slap himself, the loud and painful sound echoing through the classroom with each action — the atmosphere so unsettling and grim that you couldn't bear to watch him do it any further, "Stop—. .! No! Stop! Sunghoon!"

You could only call out for him but he didn't stop, he won't stop despite you screaming for him to quit it. But you realise this was the chance, you have to escape.

Pulling your legs in a slow pace down his legs while you turned your torso with the help of your palms had your left arm stinging in agonising pain with the fresh bruise from the previous accident.

Your breath got caught up in your throat when a firm grip get ahold of your leg — pinning it down to the floor preventing you from escaping.

Turning to look at his face was something you couldn't dare to do but his once desperate and soft voice turned into a cold and spine chilling one as it echoes through your ears, "Darling, where do you think you're going?"

"Fucking hell . . Why are you so stubborn?" He leans forward to your face that refused to look at him which made him irritated as he grabbed ahold of your jaw, forcing you to look at him through his eyes once again.

"Why won't you give me a chance? A chance to show you how much I love you and how much I really wanted to be the one who's by your side? Not anyone, not anyone but me!"

"Ugh— fuck. I know it was my fault that I chose to stay behind not making sure to etched it in everyone's mind that you were mine. . Yes it was my fault however . . Today would be different."

You gulped nervously as your lips tightened with each words coming out from his mouth.

"Today I'm going to make you mine."

"No. . No! No! Get away! Get off me!"

"—Show you the world. Show you a whole new world you deserve, show you the love I had for you. It's okay if you won't understand, that's why I'll make you understand it. You'll know after this. The love you deserve."

You bawl in desperate tears as he hovered on you with his hands grip you on your either side — his eyes welling up in endless tears as he blinked in a quick pace, eyebrows furrowed and his once pale orange lips are now chapped and dry, getting wet with each lick from his tongue. His body shaking vigorously as he tries to reasoned with you but you don't want to, mirroring his reaction with you shaking your head in desperation as well.

And that made him more bitter, his heart getting torn apart by your every rejection leaving your lips that he would love to taste since then.

However he isn't going to let that change his mind today.

Sunghoon tugged your skirt down despite your protests. This can't be happening! Please!

"Stop! Please stop! Sunghoon!" You keep slapping and pushing his arms away with your right hand while your left hand tried it's best to pull your skirt but it was a useless attempt as he immediately hovered on you, his nose touching yours and you were met with his devouring glare.

"Shh . . You're only making it hard for yourself, princess." you choked on your saliva when his icy fingers slipped inside your shirt, stroking your bare skin in a gentle manner and trailed it down to the line of your panties. "Don't worry, you'll like it."

With that one word, he pulled your panties down and latched his lips to your clit and that sent an electrifying fire to your veins making your back arched so hard, your cries of pain were replaced with loud and lewd moans. You didn't want this and yet you couldn't stop that pathetic sound coming out from your mouth, it's making you so ashamed that your body were betraying you like this.

The sounds you make were a melody like honey to Sunghoon's ears that it made him chuckle with his lips attached to your clit — that action of his sent vibrations to your belly which has you grip your hands so tight your nails were digging it.

You have to hold something, anything but him. The sickly-sweet pleasure engulfing your body was clouding your mind to the point your legs had wrapped around his shoulder and head.

"No! No— Ah! S-stop!—"

His lips switched from rough suck and hard wet kisses from licking your clit aggressively, circling his tongue on your hole and giving soft kiss all over your pussy.

He was devouring you, not leaving any bit untainted from his sugary lips.

The classroom were filled with wet lewd sounds for what seems like an eternity and even when you were all done on his face, he was still sucking you off like a hungry animal. The pleasure was starting to turn into overstimulation which had your eyes welling up in tears.

It was a moment later when he finally raised himself up, your legs freed as it fell on the floor with wet and sticky cum staining your inner thighs and the wooden floor.

"S-stop— p-please! I can't. . This is too much. ." you bawled in tears, gritting your teeth as you shut your eyes tight however Sunghoon ignores your pleas, his determination to make you his was even more proven when you heard the sound of belt unbuckling.

"Just let me show you how much I love you, let you know how you deserve the world, let you know how you made me feel. ."

Your lips were devoured by his as you grabbed your neck, positioning it to match his lips perfectly. The way he kisses you was so rough and sensual, so hungry and lovesick that he keeps pushing his tongue inside you almost making you choke. Your saliva were dripping down to the edge of your mouth as he did all the work himself.

Sunghoon was exhilarated, satisfied and yet still craving more of you. You. You. You. All of you. He wants you and he's going to take everything from you.

The sight of your saliva dripping from your mouth with your fucked up expression had him moaning in pleasure, he haven't even shove himself inside you yet but that exquisite sight was enough to make him cum. He wanted to pull out his phone to capture that beauty of yours however that should be awhile later. Not now, not yet.

You were his priority.

He stroked his wet tongue across your saliva, licking the liquid and tasting them on his tongue which made him sigh in bliss.

Next he spat his saliva inside your tongue and watched it mixed with yours. It was a breathtaking sight for Sunghoon as his psychotic eyes grew more lovesick, observing you with the utmost affection.

"Fuck. So fucking gorgeous. All mine. You're all mine." With that, he devoured your lips once again. Staining your face and neck with his tongue, teeth and lips.

All red. He's returning all that colour he receive from you. Red. All he see is red. The deepest shade of red ignited and ablaze in the brightest fire.

At last, he shoved himself deep inside you. As expected, he fits perfectly inside you — there was no pain evident in your face but utter bliss as both of you sighed in contentment.

You were one with him right now. He was inside you.

"Fuck, look at us. I'm inside you right now. Look how perfectly we fit together, my love."

And you were ashamed to your core, your mind was saying to ignore it all while begging it to be excruciatingly painful and not this intense arousal engulfing your entire body.

Sunghoon finally pushed all his length inside the deepest depths inside you and you felt so full as your pussy sucked everything he got. Your mind was now filled with nothing but him, only him.

With that, he thrusted and your body pushed up slightly in sync with his. That one action of his hits the sweet spot inside you which made you let out another sweetened like moan to Sunghoon's ears.

Another thrust, and you yelped.

"I've been wanting to do this to you ever since, fuck. Fuck. Doesn't it feel amazing?"

He thrusted again and deeper this time, you yelped a bit louder than before.

"Doesn't it? Love? Tell me how much you love it!" He chuckled innocently, his chest vibrating with your skin pressed against his. "Well, I guess I don't have to ask. . You're so fucking gorgeous, my love."

You don't want it but at the same time you wanted it, your body was begging for Sunghoon to go deeper and rougher.

The filthy and impure slaps keeps echoing throughout the dimly light classroom, roughed breathing mixed with vulgar words and sugar coated moans sent the both of you into a new entire world which only had the both of you.

Only the two of you exists at this moment.

Skin pressed against skin, his sweat dropping down to your flushed cheeks as he leans in brushing his nose against yours whispering sweet nothings to you of how you would look so beautiful with his child.

That alone was enough to sent you into panic but all of that was dissolved into nothing when you were beginning to get close to your high.

However you were still trying to make out words to stop him from filling you up with his seeds but your pleas were only met with his birdsweet hush.

"Our child would be so wonderful as you, would it be a girl or a boy — I have no fucking idea, but having a child with you would be my greatest present ever. It's only wise I ask you that now I'm your boyfriend, hm?"

Sunghoon kissed away the tears streaming down your fucked up face and you knew at that point, you could no longer escape.

He's going somehow more faster and harder and with all his last bits of strength to cum with you had your boobs bouncing up and down, and witnessing that made Sunghoon's mouth watered with saliva and he didn't miss a chance to suck your tits — popping it in and out with a lewd pop.

It was all wet and rough and all your conscience was thrown out the window when you finally released yourself together with him filling you up with his hot load, your belly and leg and all of you were electrified; shaking and quivering in complete euphoria.

Numerous wet and hot liquid dripped from your swollen hole to your inner thighs as you were still clouded with the immense orgasm you had and Sunghoon's worn out but satisfied grin says the same thing as well as his head fell on your chests.

He didn't pull out and rather he settled inside you, cock warming your delicious insides as he let out little moans still hungry as he sucked your tits in a slow pace.

His body pressed against yours formed a bearable weight and a hot sticky temperature under your belly as he still thrusted inside you but in a sensual way, you were tired and you could only let him do as he pleases as he keep voicing the future with you in a gleeful voice, "I wonder what should we name our child?"

You don't know, and he sure as hell don't know either.

But one thing he knew is that he didn't have an ounce of regret in his heart as he's now in utter bliss and if he was given a chance to do it again, he would — even if it means to bathed in your colour that he absolutely adores and even if it means it would also take the same filthy colour to suck out from others soul as well.

Red was his favourite colour but it has turned out to be a whole new different meaning when he met you; his personal sickeningly sweet obsession —

His darling and his lover.

© sweetpieceofnightmarez, 2022

-> ask blog: @llyzblog

📌author's note: this is my first smut and I'm embarrassed to write some of the words LMAOO. alright brb gotta drink holy water. hope its not that bad! feedbacks and reblogs r highly appreciated ! ~<3

#enha x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enha #enhypen x reader #enhypen sunghoon #park sunghoon #park sunghoon x reader #sunghoon smut #enhypen smut #yandere enhypen #yandere sunghoon #enha smut #enha fluff #sunghoon enhypen

[celemilii]

NOT IN LOVE- FERNANDO ALONSO| 00;CUPID TEAM

WATTPAD | INSTAGRAM | MASTERLIST

warnings: curse words; in this universe Sebastian Vettel is getting divorce and starting dating Alessia (this is part from SHS saga on wattpad); english not being my first lenguage so my apologies if you see any mistakes :)

taglist: just tell me in the comments if you wanna be tagged in the following parts!

a/n: I hope you like this chapter!

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╰───────────✧──────────────╮

2022

At a very young age I discovered that love is an illusion that, sooner or later, disappears without saying goodbye. It's just a mirage that shows how false it is when you get closer. I never understood how love can outweigh common sense and passion override logic, and how it's so disconcerting that no one else really knows how you feel when the only person you can trust with your back is to yourself, always. That's why when my intuition told me to send my resume to Mercedes, the Formula 1 team, without having any idea about the sport, I listened to it. Even when that didn't make the slightest sense.

I check my reflection in the mirror of the narrow bathroom in the Mercedes garage before heading back outside. There is a dress code that we must comply with when we come to the paddock. According to Mr. Wolff, we are the face behind the drivers, even when I am not involved in any way with them or the cars.

The clicking of my heels against the floor catches the attention of several of those present there, who turn to look at me strangely. The only ones I had had the opportunity to meet were the pilots and a few engineers who from time to time had meetings with Toto that I had to take care of.

"Mr. Wolff, I'm sorry to interrupt," I say in a strong voice, drawing the attention of the Austrian and the man I was with, who I believe is called Bono.

“Victoria, no problem. What's happening?” he crosses his arms and waits impatiently for what I want to say. The first warning I got as soon as I started working here was that Toto would try to intimidate me to prove what I'm made of, but he has no idea who he messed with.

“Interview with Sky Sports on 10,” notice, “with Webber and Chadwick,” pats the man's shoulder in farewell and tells me to follow him.

"Okay, this is what I want you to do today," he says as we leave the tent. “When you're in the garage, keep an eye on Roscoe…”

“Hamilton 's dog?”

“Yes, you have to take care of him. Besides…”

“With all due respect, I wasn't hired to be a babysitter, sir. I sort papers, schedule and remember appointments, I'll even bring coffee, but, as much as I love animals, I'm not anyone's caregiver.”

"It seems fair to me," my boss exclaims. “And you can tell me Toto, Victoria, that we are going to be together too long not to call each other by our names.”

"Of course, Toto," I say forcefully.

“Now, bring me a coffee like the usual ones for when the interview is over,” I look at him waiting for him to say what I want to hear and he seems to understand it. “Please.”

I walk away from the Austrian to look for wherever they sell coffee here.

I started working with Toto as soon as the year started, so we haven't been around for long. During pre-season I stayed at the England base because I was "not ready" to go to the paddock, as it seems I am now.

"Excuse me," I caught the attention of a girl who was walking around. “Do you know where I can buy coffee?”

"I'm looking for exactly the same thing as you," she tells me. “I've never been here.”

“Yeah, me neither, but my boss sent me to buy him coffee,” we started walking together almost without realizing it, so I guess we would look for it together.

“Your boss? Do you work here?”

“Yes, I am the assistant to the Director of Mercedes.”

“You are Toto's assistant!” she exclaims as if he had discovered the most interesting thing in the world.

“Are you a fan?”

“No, it's just... let's say I'm dating one of the pilots.”

“Oh, you're a wag.”

“No, my God! I hate when they say that. Besides, Sebastian and I are taking it slow,” Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian, which one was Sebastian?

“Sebastian... Vettel?" Fortune teller.

“Yes, exactly! By the way, I'm Alessia,” she introduced herself. “I'm already talking to you about my relationship and I don't even know your name,” I giggled at how nervous she had become and introduced myself as well.

“I am Victoria.”

“You are Spanish,” Alessia notes. “I like the accent. I am italian.”

“Oh, that's great.”

"Yes... I'm trying to learn Spanish," she says with excitement.

"I can help you if you need it," I offer.

When I left Spain, I left everything.

Friends, family, acquaintances, customs. It wouldn't hurt to have someone to talk to, someone who is in a similar situation to mine.

“Oh really!? I'd love to. Let's do this,” she says, taking her phone out of her bag, “save my number. We can go out if you want,” she smiles shyly at me and I nod. “There's Seb. Come let me introduce him to you.”

"Alessia, it's not necessary," I say as she drags me towards her boyfriend and his friend, whom I recognize from several advertisements they show on Spanish television.

His gaze crossed with mine and I didn't need words because I saw it all there.

Fernando Alonso

An idiot, a womanizer, who thinks he is better than anyone else just because he won two championships and because the national press idolizes him as if he were some kind of God.

I know I said I don't know things about sports but I don't live under a rock either.

Also, it's not the first time I've seen him. A few years ago, my ex-boyfriend and I went to a club where famous people used to go, to see if we could meet someone and, indeed, we did. Fernando Alonso with his hand under a girl's skirt in the middle of the dance floor.

A very good first impression.

"Mein Leben," the German exclaims when Alessia enters his field of vision and she laughs like a teenager in love.

“Vita mia,” greets the Italian. “This is Victoria,” she introduces me. “She is Toto's new assistant”

Sebastian barely looks at me when Ale greets me. He can't take his eyes off Alessia, who keeps talking about how we met by chance looking for coffee. The love in the blonde's eyes is evident, idyllic and I would even dare to say nostalgic. It looks real.

“The coffee shop is over there,” Alonso comes in, who doesn't take his eyes off me. “I'm Fernando,” he introduces himself.

“I know.”

“You are Spanish. A sports fan I guess," he says in a humorous tone.

“I can't be further away.”

"Wow, that's good too," he laughs nervously. He definitely wasn't expecting that answer.

"Alessia, I have to go," I warn her. “If when the interview ends, Toto doesn't have his coffee, he's going to get annoyed.”

"No, wait," the brunette man stops me.

“What's happening?” I ask confused.

“I…” he tries to find the right words while his hazel eyes merge with mine, as if he were looking for what he can't say in them, “nothing. I hope you find your coffee.”

[...]

I see Victoria go towards where I had pointed a few minutes ago wanting to go after her.

"You two have to help me," I ask the couple.

“To what?” asks my friend.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” I question before agreeing with them.

“No.”

“It's stupid,” supports Alessia.

"I didn't believe in it either," I admit, "but I just fell in love with Victoria.”

___________________________________

taglist:

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