#the way the only time she’s been brought up through s3 was in the very first episode

[afterschoolcrewz]

i miss erika so badly i need her to make an appearance within these next six episodes

#like why give janine an out of work bestie if you’re only gonna use her in one season #the way the only time she’s been brought up through s3 was in the very first episode #jacob janine and erika’s brunchy bunch … #i think if she does show up it’d be fun to see her be the one to push janine to go back to abbott #maybe janine hasn’t been responding to her messages like with jacob and erika decided to look into it #abbott elementary #erika #janine teagues #ramblings

[ro-is-struggling]

The Ballad of Orpheus and Eurydice || Geralt of Rivia x nymph!reader

REQUESTED

Summary: Life was good when Geralt was by her side. They were in love and happy... Until they weren't and she was left alone once again. After spending so much time under his protection, she had forgotten how dangerous the world was for creatures like her. Sad and heartbroken, she was unable to defend herself when the men came for her. Now locked up far away from her forest, she only hoped that her loved protector would come to her rescue.

Warnings: angst (with happy ending), major character death, reader gets imprisoned by a evil dude (I don't know how to tag this lol but I think it’s important to mention that she’s forced to serve him), fluff (it’s not all sad, I promise), forest nymph!reader, fem!reader, let me know if I missed anything!

English is not my first language

Word count: 12.700 (it's a long one)

Notes: A few things to have in mind while reading: It follows the timeline very loosely, and Geralt and Yen's relationship never got to that solid point in s3 cause it's not real love, just the product of Geralt binding their fates together with that wish

She never imagined that her story would end like this, locked in a cold and humid dungeon far away from her forest. Nymphs were not immortal beings —something she had come close to verifying several times in her long years on the continent—, so the idea of her inevitable end was something that she had thought about from time to time. It was not something that haunted her obsessively, but every once in a while her mind would wander to the imagining of the end of her days. 

She lived a quiet life, making sure to be cautious around any unwanted people who passed through her forest. She had no enemies, at least not ones powerful enough to present a real danger to her. So she always imagined that she would die a peaceful death, slowly fading away as her birth tree withered away after having completed its cycle on this earth. If not, she imagined she would die a heroic death as she fought the greedy humans to prevent the destruction of her forest. Both scenarios brought her a sense of comfort in a way, because they showed that she had fulfilled her life's mission, the purpose for which she had been placed on the continent.

She never imagined that the end of her days would actually be so dark and torturous, forced to live in captivity away from her home and everything she loved. She never thought she would miss the feel of the wind on her face, or the warmth of the early morning sun, or the sweet scent of flowers in the spring. She had never imagined herself living anywhere but her forest, but that was an option that had been taken away from her the moment King Elian's men set foot in her home. 

She had heard rumors of his infamous reputation from the mouths of other frightened nymphs. His name inspired terror among magical creatures, who chose to call him The Hunter as if the mere mention of his name was a sign of bad omens. He was known for his obsession with magical creatures and what he did with them after capturing them. Despite what his nickname implied, he did not always chase a magical creature to kill it and display some part of its body as a hunting trophy. No. There was a fate far more horrible and obscure than that, and that was to end up as a piece of his collection, just another exhibit, forced to smile in his presence and perform for his entertainment whenever he wanted it. It was the terrible fate that had unfortunately fallen upon her. 

In the past she had not seen King Elian as a threat. His kingdom was on the other side of the continent and while he used to go on hunting trips when he heard rumors of a creature in his vicinity, he had never ventured this far before. Besides, she was under the protection of one of the continent's fiercest witchers, so she knew no one would dare mess with her. No one who knew Geralt of Rivia would dare to challenge him, and the poor bastards who, out of ignorance or arrogance did, usually didn't live to tell the tale. The bond they had was strong, a love unlike any she had ever experienced in her many years of life, so she never thought there would be a day when she would wake up without him by her side.

"The king requires your presence." A guard announced from her cell door, snapping her out of her thoughts. She rose to her feet reluctantly, stepping up to the bars so he could put the handcuffs on her before unlocking her cell. The dimeritium on her wrists was engraved with the same symbols as the bars of the box in which she spent her days. It was a powerful incantation that weakened her magic so that she could not use her powers to escape. It was painful since the metal burned her skin, but she had learned the hard way not to complain.

The guard led her to the throne room, where the king was shouting directions to the group of servants working on decorating the place, changing the curtains and adding chairs and tables to the sides of the room. She had been there long enough to know that the castle was being prepared for a feast, though she did not know what the celebratory occasion was.

She forced herself to bow when the king's eyes fell upon her figure, though her expression showed how little respect she truly had for him. "Your majesty." She murmured as a learned response as she lowered her gaze to the ground.

"I hope you used your time in the dungeon to reflect on your attitude." His voice was firm, almost as if he was still angry with her for refusing to comply with his demands almost a week ago when he had wanted to use her to entertain the king of the neighboring kingdom who had come to visit. "You have to understand that you belong to me. You are here to serve me and the only reason you are not dead already is that I find you useful. But that can change and it depends entirely on how you behave. Do I make myself clear?"

She clenched her jaw, biting her tongue to avoid causing a scene that would undoubtedly send her straight to the dungeon again. "Yes, my king." She wasn't able to look him in the eye as she spoke as she didn't want to see the satisfaction in his expression. 

"As a demonstration of my great generosity and compassion, I have decided to give you a second chance to prove your loyalty. But do not mistake my mercy for stupidity for this will be your last chance to prove your worth to me. If you say or do anything out of place you will know the sharp blade of my sword."

After she submissively assured him that she understood the seriousness of his words, he explained that he needed her to take care of some of the preparations for the feast in honor of his daughter. During the week the entire kingdom had participated in the celebrations for the girl's fifteenth birthday, an event that would culminate with a grand banquet in the evening. She would be in charge of preparing the floral arrangements that would decorate the entire palace as well as being responsible for the main entertainment since there was nothing to match the singing of a nymph. But in addition, the king put her on a special task. He wanted to give his daughter a beautiful garden with different types of flowers —one for each year of her life—, and she was the perfect person for the job. She accepted without question, not so much because she valued her life or feared reprisals if she refused, but rather because after being locked up for so long she missed being in contact with nature. 

"If it's alright with you, my lord, I would like to start with the garden." She said in the most respectful way possible, explaining that with her powers weakened it was the task that would take the most work.

She was escorted by a group of half a dozen guards, who grabbed her roughly by the arms and dragged her through the castle corridors to the garden. Normally she would have complained about their mistreatment, but it all stopped mattering to her when she felt the gentle breeze hit the skin of her face. It was a wonderful feeling smelling the wet dirt in the air and hearing the birds singing after having spent so much time locked up in the deepest part of the castle. It almost felt like freedom.

Working in the garden awakened a bittersweet feeling in her. On the one hand, it was the most comfortable she had been since she arrived at the castle. Walking barefoot on the grass, feeling the earth between her toes and the flowers growing under her hands was as close to home as she had ever been. It was liberating in a way, putting her powers to good use and connecting with the nature she missed so much. But, on the other hand, it was also a reminder of all that she had lost, the life she would never get back. As much as she loved being outside after so many days locked up, she couldn't help but notice that nothing felt like home. The flowers didn't smell the same, the grass under her feet wasn't as soft, and even the birds didn't sing the same. That wasn't her home. This was not her forest. 

As she buried her hands in the ground, she couldn't help but question what she was doing, and more importantly, why she was doing it. Sure, avoiding further punishment for disobeying the king's orders was a valid motivation, but was it really worth it? Why was she trying to preserve her life when the only future she had was to live locked up there forever? Was dying such a terrible fate when the alternative was imprisonment and slavery? A life away from her home, forced to indulge the whims of a power-hungry monster was no life at all, so why was she there obeying the orders of that disgusting man? 

Then she realized that she still held out hope of escaping. Her spirit wasn't completely crushed and her love for Geralt wasn't entirely gone, so even if it was foolish, she still hoped he would show up to rescue her. They hadn't seen each other for over a year, since that sad day when their story had met an abrupt end after he confessed to her that there was another woman in his life, but she still held out hope of seeing him again. She dreamed of seeing his long white hair move in the air as he skillfully knocked down the guards that separated them and freed her from her confinement. How could she not when he had been her savior on more than one occasion? In fact, that was how they had met.

She was frightened and hurt the first time she saw him, trapped in a cage with symbols carved into the bars. It was a powerful spell that weakened her powers just like the shackles of dimeritium around her wrists. The cage was too small for her, a confined space where she could barely stretch her legs or sit up straight if she wanted to. A group of well-trained men had managed to capture her, taking advantage of her distraction and temporary weakness to lock her up and take her back to their master. She was so terrified that when she heard Geralt's sword clash with that of one of her attackers, she curled up in a corner, her body folding in on itself in an attempt to make herself small and invisible to the group of fighting men. 

She recognized immediately that he was a witcher and that brought her no relief. While his kind generally didn't tend to see nymphs as dangerous monsters —as long as they behaved and didn't do anything to end up on their list, of course— she didn't feel completely safe in the presence of a witcher. She tended to hide on the occasions when one passed through her forest, believing it was best to stay away from people like that just in case. After all, they were monster hunters, a concept that, in her experience, meant something different to each individual and there was no way of knowing for sure if she fell into that category or not. So, even though he had overpowered her captors, she still felt fear when he approached.

Geralt felt that fear as soon as he took a step towards her, it was almost as strong as the power and magic that flowed from her being. Her beauty alone was enough to let him know that she was a nymph of the forest. Behind the earth and blood, hidden in a grimace of terror, were the delicate features that the witcher had only seen in the creatures of her kind that he had encountered in the past. The nymphs had a certain look, a special glow that distinguished them from the rest of the magical beings on the continent. They were also one of the gentlest and most peaceful creatures on the continent, focused only on protecting their homes and turning to violence only as a last defense mechanism. That was why Geralt did not sense a drop of evil in her. And that was also why he set out to free her from her confinement.

Even though her captors lay dead on the ground, she still looked terrified, her eyes glassy with tears and her lower lip trembling as she struggled to hold back a sob. When he approached her, the nymph snuggled further into the corner, pulling her knees to her chest in a protective manner. He raised his hands in the air in an attempt to show her that he was not going to hurt her, walking slowly toward the cage so he could release her. It was then that he noticed the symbols on the bars and the dimeritium shackles, which helped him understand how she had ended up there and why she was so scared. She was in a position of extreme vulnerability without her magic and, despite having saved her, he was a complete stranger who could very well cause her more trouble. So the witcher made an effort to appear friendly and non-threatening.

“I’m not here to hurt you.” He told her to try to calm her down, though it wasn't much help. She curled further into the corner of the cage, hugging her legs to her chest and looking up at him with watchful eyes from between her knees.

"I know what you are." She answered him, the fear clear in her voice. "You are a witcher, you kill-"

"Monsters, yes." Geralt spoke for her. "But you are not one of them. You're safe with me." 

At that moment she had no way of knowing what kind of impact those words would have on her life and how genuine they were. She accepted his help because she had no other choice, but time would show her how fortunate she had been to cross paths with Geralt. At first he played hard to get, barely speaking as she nursed his wounds once her powers stabilized. She'd had to resort to using her charms a little to soften that hard exterior of his, but once Geralt began to open up to her, she discovered the man he truly was. 

Geralt tended to lean into rumors about himself and his kind, pretending to be emotionless and not caring about anything or anyone but himself. But that was all an act, a protective shield. In reality he cared. He was capable of feeling emotions as deeply as any other being on the continent. He hated and held grudges, but he also loved and cared for those close to him just as intensely. And once she discovered that, she found it very easy to love him back. 

She was truly safe with him, and in the long years that their love blossomed he did nothing but prove that to her. Geralt was her favorite person in the world. He was her home, her lover, her protector... A love like that was not easily forgotten and no one could blame her for holding out even the slightest hope that he would come for her, that he would somehow sense that she was in danger and rush to her rescue. It had happened in the past, their connection was that strong, so it wasn't an entirely far-fetched idea. It was just... naive of her.

Geralt had been traveling for days. He usually preferred to use alternative paths hidden behind forests or swamps, they were quieter and better for his business. Not many people used them so he didn't run into anyone that would bother him, and it was easy to run into the occasional monster roaming around, so it was a win-win situation for everyone. What he hated, however, was that most of the time it took him twice as long to get to some town where he could rest with minimal comforts and eat a hot meal. 

Had he taken the main road he would probably already be at his destination, drinking in the dark corner of some dingy bar or locked in the room of some cheap inn, and not wandering the forest in search of an animal big enough to satisfy his appetite. He didn't mind being outdoors or having to hunt for his food on the spot —-in fact he was so used to that he almost preferred it—, but this time he was tired and couldn't wait to be anywhere but there. Perhaps that was why when he came across a king and his hunting party he accepted his offer to return to his camp to eat with him without putting up much of a fight. 

Geralt hated royalty and King Elian was no exception. He was arrogant and self-absorbed, just like the vast majority of kings, but there was something else about him that rubbed the witcher the wrong way. He tried to decline his offer at first, but he was unwilling to take no for an answer.

"I'm afraid I will have to insist. My camp is not far from here and my tent is big and warm. I have more than enough food and I would love to hear some of your stories while we eat." The king insisted, pressing Geralt to accept his offer. "My men don't make for good company and I'm bored. I'm sure a witcher like you has been involved in a good share of adventures that make for fascinating stories."

In any other circumstances, Geralt would have found a way to escape from there. The last thing he wanted was to be used as the personal entertainment of an arrogant king. But this time he decided not to resist too much. He attributed it to his tiredness, he had been traveling for a long time and at least it wouldn't be a sacrifice in vain since he could at least get food in exchange for entertaining him for a while. But perhaps there was something more than that playing a role there. Fate itself had crossed their paths for a reason, even though he didn't know it yet.

"It's not as interesting or glorious as one might think." Geralt said with honesty. 

In his experience there were two types of opinions regarding his people and what they did for a living. There were the people who despised them for what they were and believed they were no different than the monsters they killed and there were those who found them fascinating and longed to go on adventures like the ones they often experienced. To him both opinions were bullshit. He wasn't a monster, he didn't kill for pleasure or for fun as many people believed, but neither was he some kind of hero whose life was worthy of being immortalized in songs and poems. He was just a man who did what he knew best to survive, just like all witchers and all beings on the continent. He and his kind did not deserve hatred, but neither did they deserve to be crowned with laurels. They deserved to be left in peace, nothing more, nothing less.

"I have to say I'm grateful for the work you and your kind does." The king continued speaking without acknowledging Geralt's words. It was as if he was not there, his words were of little value to the king when they did not say exactly what he wanted to hear from him. "These creatures are dangerous and can't be left alone to live amongst us. Although some are fascinating creatures if given proper care and purpose."

Geralt looked at the monarch with a frown, unsure of what he meant by that. He said nothing, however, just remained silent for most of their journey to the camp, while trying to get a better read on the man beyond the typical arrogance of all of his kind. There was something about him that he did not like, something that caused a feeling that other kings and nobles did not. It was something more than his simple unpleasant personality, but he could not figure out what it was.

"You should come to my kingdom sometime." King Elian offered as they finally reached what appeared to be the camp where he and his hunting party had set up their base. "I have a collection of creatures I'm sure you would love to see."

The witcher halted his walk, looking at the king with narrowed eyes. "A collection?"

"Oh yes! I have the biggest collection of magical creatures in the whole continent." He admitted as if it was something to be proud of. "I have some pretty rare ones I'm sure you and your people would love to study. You're more than welcome to come over anytime! After all, we are all on the same side."

Geralt did not like the way the king referred to magical creatures and hated that he equated himself with witchers and the work they did. They didn't lock up monsters to brag about their large collection to strangers. They didn't see them as objects that gave them some kind of prestige. They saw them as living creatures, sometimes dangerous, sometimes misunderstood. Witchers did not enslave or kill monsters for fun as he seemed to do and Geralt was disgusted that he would even try to imply such a thing.

However, before he could voice his opinion, the king shoved him into his luxurious tent and the servants set a plate of food in front of him. It was filled with meat and potatoes and vegetables so colorful that they must have been freshly picked. It might have been the hunger talking, but it was the most appetizing food he had tasted in a long time. It was indeed fit for a king and Geralt thought it was definitely worth chatting with his host for a while in exchange for a share, especially after tasting the wine.

"It's good, isn't it?" the king asked him, studying his reaction as he lifted the wine glass to his mouth. "I have someone special that takes care of all the plants in the castle so I only eat the best of the best. It's actually one of my creatures. You can meet her, if you want."

Geralt let go of the piece of meat between his fingers and looked at the king with a frown. There was a subtle change in the air that made him instinctively tense, wondering what his host was up to. The king gave him a small smile before gesturing to one of his men, who left the tent without saying a word. The monarch's menacing aura put the witcher on alert, carefully watching his every move while he ate as if trying to predict what he would do next. His attitude had changed in a matter of seconds. Geralt couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but there was something about the way he looked back at him that put him on edge. It was almost as if he was waiting for something to happen —as if he knew something was going to happen—, the glow of anticipation clear in his eyes. 

He didn't understand his attitude, at least not until the guard returned to the tent. Only he wasn't alone, but was carrying a girl on his arm who was shuffling her bare feet across the ground hesitantly, as if she really didn't want to be there. Her eyes were downcast and her long hair was tangled over her face, so that Geralt could not see her features. Her dress, which seemed to have been a beautiful piece of art at one time, was now dirty and worn, with the fabric torn to shreds on some sides. Her hands were bound together at her wrists, trapped by shackles of dimeritium that marked her condition of slavery. It was a sad sight that became horrifying when Geralt smelled the scent of flowers in the air.

His heart stopped as his nostrils were assaulted with the sweet smell of cherry blossom that he knew and had come to love. The world around him stopped as he was struck with the horrible realization of what was happening. He did not need to see the face of the captured young woman to know it was her. It was enough to feel her energy in the tent as he breathed in her characteristic sweet scent. 

Geralt jumped to his feet, hand gripping his sword as he entered a state of desperation. He wasn't thinking, he couldn't, he had been reduced to his most primitive instincts by seeing her there in that condition. She was weak and injured in a way that Geralt had never seen, her glow and warm, positive energy almost completely extinguished after being tortured for who knows how long. However, when her eyes met his, he noticed a slight glimmer of joy and hope. That only further increased his desire to protect her, the murderous urge growing inside him and urging him to crush anyone who stood between them.

"Let her go!" Geralt demanded firmly, turning his eyes away from his former lover to look the king in the eyes. 

He was furious and desperate, it was evident in his voice and in the hard expression on his face. Anyone would have given in to his demands if he looked at them with those murderous eyes, but King Elian did not flinch. He didn't seem to care that Geralt was pointing his sword at him or that he looked ready to take on an army on his own, he continued to eat as if nothing was happening while the tent filled with guards ready to defend him.

"Please, sit down. You barely touched your food." The monarch spoke in a calm, casual tone. But Geralt did not move, he stood his ground, sword held high and hate-filled eyes fixed on him. "Fate is its a curious thing, don't you agree? This invisible force pushing us to the right path so we might fulfill our destiny, making every little interaction, every little decision, integral... Take this as an example. This morning when I woke up I didn't think that I was going to cross paths with you and yet here we are."

"Let. Her. Go." Geralt interrupted the king's unimportant ramblings, pausing slightly at each word to emphasize his anger. He didn't care what the man had to say, he would slice him through with his sword right there if it weren't for the fact that his sweet nymph was bound and surrounded by guards who wouldn't hesitate to hurt her before he could get to her. "I won't ask again. Next time it will be my sword doing the talking."

"I don't want to fight you, Geralt. If anything, I want to thank you for helping me fulfill my destiny, my purpose of becoming the biggest collector of magical creatures in the continent... You see, if it weren't for you, I could never have captured a forest nymph as powerful as her. I admit that you ruined my plans the first time when you attacked my men, but in the end it was thanks to you that I was able to get my hands on her."

"What are you talking about?" the witcher asked, confused. It could be the adrenaline coursing through his veins and drowning out his thoughts —or the fact that his heart was beating so fast that it was pounding in his ears muffling all other sounds—, but the king wasn't making much sense to him. They had never crossed paths before, and if they had, he would never have helped him in something so horrible.

"I could never have caught her while she was under your protection. But when you left... well, let's just say she was withering away little by little, weakening day by day until she got to the point where she couldn't defend herself when my men came for her."

Geralt froze in place as the king's words echoed in his head. It was a lot of information to process and he was in no condition to do so. If he wasn't so devastated he might have reacted to the implication that the king had been watching them, waiting for the right moment to strike after he had saved her from his men the day they had met. But at that moment he could only concentrate on the feelings of guilt and regret that came over him. 

When he left, he never thought about the consequences his decision might have. He never thought about how his departure would affect her or if she would be okay. He knew she would be sad and hurt, just as it hurt him to have to leave her, but he also knew it was the right thing to do. So he focused on moving on, hoping she would too, without stopping to consider the consequences. He thought about her a lot in the time they spent apart —when he lay awake at night, admiring the stars and the nocturnal sounds of the woods; or as he dressed quietly after spending a night with Yennefer—, but in his mind he always pictured her happy. She was strong and had lived many years alone on the continent before their paths crossed, so he was sure that their breakup would not destroy her. He was sure that she would find a way to get back on her feet and that it would be better for the both of them to stay apart. 

Now he realized that was just an excuse. He was being selfish, protecting himself and running away from reality so as not to face it because it hurted him. It hurted to know that he was hurting her. It hurted that he fell in love with another woman behind her back. It hurted to have to leave her after all they had been through together, the love they shared, the moments of vulnerability and intimacy that had brought them together. It hurted because he had failed her, because he couldn't keep his promise to be with her forever. So he completely disappeared from her life, making excuses to justify his behavior and convince himself that he was doing the right thing even though he knew deep down that he wasn't. He ran away like a coward and she ended up paying the price for it.

The witcher's eyes searched the nymph's, hoping to find in them the answers to the questions he had not asked, some indication that the king was not lying. She escaped his gaze, feeling embarrassed and extremely vulnerable. But eventually their gazes met and Geralt knew the mistake he had made. He should have been there for her. He should have helped her when they came for her. He should have searched for her all over the continent once he noticed her disappearance. He should have protected her, just as he always had. He had failed her twice, but he would not let there be a third.

Geralt carried out his threat without hesitation, lashing out at the nearest soldiers in an effort to reach her. The clinking sound of clashing swords and the groans of his opponents were all that echoed in his mind, focusing on his enemy to keep his head cool and ensure victory. They were no threat to him. They were well trained and knew how to move around very well, but he was a witcher with decades of experience and unmatched reflexes and skills. He had defeated them once in the past and he would do it again now without breaking a sweat.

At least that's what he thought before he heard the voice of the young nymph in the distance calling out for him.

“Geralt!” She exclaimed his name for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Her sweet voice traveled through the air, piercing through the sound of metal and the grunts of pain until it reached his ears. She managed to get his attention immediately as he recognized the hint of fear in it. As he buried his sword in his opponent, his eyes snapped up to her, searching for her in the crowd following the sound of her voice. 

When he finally found her, Geralt's heart sank as he discovered the reason for the fear in her voice. The king had his hands around her, holding her tightly against his body. His left hand was wrapped around her torso, restricting her movement, while his right hand wielded a silver dagger against her neck. The metal gleamed in the dim light, revealing the sharp edge that burned the girl's skin. Desperate, Geralt tried to lunge at the monarch, but he stopped him with a click of his tongue.

"One more step and she dies." He assured, firmly. Geralt noticed the honesty in his voice, so he stayed in place and slowly lowered his sword —though he did not drop it—, a desperate attempt to buy time to think of a plan to get out of there with her by his side.

"You don't have to do this." Geralt tried to reason with him even though he knew it was in vain. He didn't see her as more than an object, just another piece in his long collection of creatures, so it was safe to assume he didn't value her life very much. But still, Geralt didn't have much choice so he tried anyway.

"She has been nothing but trouble since the moment she arrived at the castle, isn't that right, darling?" The king grumbled, lowering his head just slightly so he could mutter the last question against the young nymph's ear. "Crying all day, disobeying my orders, upsetting the other creatures... and now your friend over here kills half my men after I feed him and show him my generosity."

"If we present so much trouble to you, why don't you let us go? I'll take her with me and I promise you won't hear from us ever again."

"You are ungrateful brats." The king continued speaking, completely ignoring Geralt's words. "You think you are special, important, and therefore above it all... but you are not. Your actions have consequences and I am the one who decides what they are... You do not deserve my generosity or my mercy."

Geralt didn't have time to think about the hypocrisy in the monarch's words because before he could process them his eyes watched in horror as he slid the blade of the dagger across his beloved's neck. Blood began to gush violently from the wound, the thick, sticky liquid sliding down the young woman's delicate skin, turning everything red. He screamed her name, his sword slipping from his fingers and crashing to the floor with a muffled sound. He ran towards her, completely forgetting the guards he was fighting moments before. He only cared about her.

Suddenly, he felt as if he was moving in slow motion, as if his feet were twice as heavy and dragging them along the ground was more difficult than usual. Everyone around him seemed to slow down, the men around him, the gentle breeze of the wind... everything but her. He watched her collapse to the ground, blood covering her chest as she struggled to keep breathing. But he couldn't reach her. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms one more time, but it was as if an abyss was keeping them apart. It felt as if fate was mocking him, punishing him for his mistakes by allowing him to be there with her, but not letting him do anything to save her. 

He tried to stop the bleeding as he knelt beside her —placing his hands on her neck and feeling the blood gushing from the wound—, but it was too late. She was pale and weak, all the magic in the world could not have saved her at that moment. There were tears in her eyes, in those beautiful green orbs that were fading with each passing second. She was scared, Geralt could see it in her expression. She didn't want to go, but she knew there was nothing else to do now.

"I'm here, I'm here." Geralt whispered in the calmest, most comforting tone he was capable of uttering at that moment. He swallowed his anger and pain, holding back tears so he could give her some peace. He cradled her face in his hands, fingers caressing the skin of her cheeks delicately as if he were afraid of breaking it. "It's going to be okay... you're going to be okay. I will fix this."

She opened her mouth in an attempt to speak, but instead of sound only blood came out. Geralt caressed her gently, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks. She clutched her hand around his arm, looking up at him with pleading eyes. She was begging him to understand her, to read in her eyes her thoughts as he had done so many times in the past. It took Geralt a few seconds to understand her, although in hindsight it should have been obvious to him. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, to assure him that none of it was his fault and that no matter what had happened between them, he would own her heart forever. 

"I love you. I always will."

Geralt saw the reassurance in her face as the warmth of love enveloped her in her last moments. She gave him the faintest of smiles, an almost invisible sign of the peace his words had brought her. And then her grip on his arm weakened, her hand dropping to the floor as life left her body. Suddenly, that subtle smile, now permanently carved into her expression, was all he had left of her, of her life and the love they shared. 

Geralt did not fight when the soldiers dragged him and tied him to a tree to leave him there to die while they escaped, he did not have the strength to do so. He was numb to the world around him, consumed by grief. The sound of the king and his men preparing to leave sounded muffled and distant, as if they were far away from him. And in a way they were, for his mind was not one with his body, but far away. He was focused on the slowly withering body of his beloved, on the fear as she called his name and the terror in her eyes as the edge of the dagger sealed her fate. He could only think of her and all the time they had lost and could never get back, feeling the guilt slowly consuming him as her body transformed into a pile of pink petals.

Geralt admired her face in the dim glow of the candlelight, thinking about how beautiful she looked tangled in the sheets beside him. Her hair spread across the pillow like a halo around her head and her smooth skin was covered with a light layer of sweat that gave her an almost ethereal glow. It felt like an illusion, a trick of his mind. He found it hard to believe he had someone like her lying next to him, looking at him with love in her eyes. 

It wasn't just her beauty. No. It was the peace her mere presence awakened in him and the void he felt in his chest when they were apart. It was the way he dreamed of her and her caresses every night he went to bed alone and how his longing disappeared when he felt her warmth against him as their bodies melted into one. It was the way her kisses made him feel like he was home, safe and away from the complications of the world outside the little paradise that was her forest. It was much more than physical attraction, more than the effects of her nymph charm, as he had initially thought. It was love. Pure, honest love, like he had never felt before. He was in love with her, and while he hadn't put it into words yet, he wasn't afraid to admit it.

Her fingers aroused a warm tingle as they caressed his cheek. Geralt leaned into it, closing his eyes for a second to appreciate the magic of the moment. It was amazing how such a subtle act, such a light touch, was able bring out so many emotions in him. It was something only she could do, a clear demonstration of how deep his feelings for her were.

However, when Geralt opened his eyes again, he didn't find the special glow he usually saw in them at intimate moments like this. She was looking straight at him, but it was as if she was looking right through him, as if her mind was lost in her thoughts. Something was bothering her, that much was clear in the green tint of her eyes. Her mouth would open slightly, almost in an imperceptible movement, only to close seconds later, as if there was something she wanted to tell him but couldn't quite bring herself to say. So he decided to ask her about it. 

"What's wrong?" Geralt voice was low and raspy with sleep, looking at her with a slight frown in confusion. There was a moment of silence before she answered. Her eyes never left his, but her hand slowly slid from his cheek to rest on his bare chest.

"I'm afraid of losing you." She eventually said, her voice almost a whisper. "You travel across the continent, meet all kinds of people... I'm afraid one day you will get bored of me... find someone better and leave me forever."

Geralt could not believe his ears. It was ridiculous to him that she could have such a fear of abandonment when he felt the way he did. If only she knew how happy being with her made him... If only he could somehow transfer his emotions to her so that she could feel his heart race when they kissed, or experience the peace that filled him inside every night when he lay down next to her... If only she knew, she wouldn't be having those kinds of thoughts. So, he took her hand in his and pressed it against the left side of his chest, right over where his heart was beating with love for her. She needed to know that she was the only one who had a permanent place there. She was the only one he loved and he doubted that would ever change.

"Believe me when I tell you that there is no force on this continent that can keep me away from you." He spoke in a soft voice and watched as her eyes lit up full of illusion. "I love you, forever and always."

He sealed his promise with a kiss, showing her with his lips how serious he was about it. He loved her and there was nothing he wanted to do more than to be with her for the rest of his life, sharing intimate moments like this one and protecting her from any evil that might come her way. He felt complete with her and could not imagine how miserable his life would be without her by his side.

Geralt allowed himself to get lost in the passion of the moment, fingers tracing trails over his beloved's bare skin as he melted into the kiss. It was different this time, more intimate and charged with all the emotions that were left unsaid —it was their special way of communicating, one kiss and they knew what was going through each other's minds. The comforting warmth of love filled his heart, leaving him in a state of total bliss as she whispered sweet nothings against his lips. He was happy in a way he could not remember ever being before, in a way he knew he could only be with her. 

But suddenly that comforting warmth that flooded his insides was replaced by a paralyzing cold, an emptiness that pressed against his chest and took his breath away. Geralt could no longer feel his beloved's lips against his. He could no longer smell the flowery scent her soft skin radiated or feel the warmth of her body. He was trapped in a black void, in emptiness itself, all alone. And in the distance he could hear his name being called.

Geralt

Geralt

Geralt

It was a cry for help, the voice of terror of someone who had been confronted with their own mortality. The voice trembled with fear, certain of the fatal fate that awaited them. Geralt could not escape its shrieks, no matter how hard he tried. It was his own personal hell, a void where he was forced to confront his pain, his guilt, and to listen again and again to his beloved's voice filled with terror as she spoke his name for the last time.

Geralt woke up tangled in the sheets, covered in a thin layer of cold sweat and breathing fast due to his nightmare. He lay in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling as he tried to pull himself together. His beloved's voice was still ringing in his ears, only that with every waking second it became more and more distant until it became an almost unintelligible whisper. Anguish and guilt weighed heavy on his chest, but he was used to that by now. The emptiness inside him had accompanied him every moment of his life since that unfortunate day. He could not escape the pain and regret he felt, it haunted him even when he closed his eyes at night. He could not even enjoy the peaceful ignorance in the mornings, when one's mind is too sleepy to process life's tragedies, because his nightmares would remind him of every painful detail of that day so that he could not rest.

At a time like this, when life had become so overwhelming that he was unable to sleep, he usually reached out to her. With her gentle touch and sweet voice she was always able to calm his tormented self, wash away the anger and frustration and replace it with love and calmness. But now she was gone and he didn't know how to go on. He missed her more than he thought it was possible to miss anyone. He missed the melodious sound of her laughter and the light in her eyes when she was happy. He missed waking up next to her in the mornings, feeling the warmth of her body enveloping him as she whispered good morning to him, her voice hoarse from sleep. He wished he could once again feel the soft caress of her lips on his and hear her say she loved him one more time. 

There was nothing Geralt wasn't willing to do to have her back with him, to be able to tell her how much he loved her and how he regretted leaving her. He had been an idiot to have given in to his desires for Yennefer. He should never have gotten involved with her, he should have let her own greed and obsession destroy her that day. He should have saved Jaskier and moved on with his life, after all Yennefer's problems were of no concern to him. But he could not resist his need to intervene, acting like a knight in shining armor instead of what he really was: a witcher. He made an impulsive decision, binding their destinies with magic and unknowingly triggering the death of his beloved. For if only he had been with her, if only he had stayed by her side to protect her as he had promised, he was sure things would be very different. She would still be alive and he would not be so miserable.

But Geralt was determined to make things right. He refused to let her die because of his mistakes. And looking at the cherry blossom tree growing outside his window, he knew the time was getting closer.

"I will fix this." He spoke to the tree, stroking the trunk with his hand as he sucked in a long breath of air. It smelled like her, a sweet scent mixed with the aroma of wood and wet earth. It ached and comforted him in equal amounts. "I will bring you back to me and I will keep my promise to you this time."

Geralt knew she was gone, but her essence was still alive in that tree. Born from the pink petals in which her body had withered when she died, it grew stronger with each day, keeping a fragment of her alive. Of course it was not her, but for now he was happy to make promises to the wind that its branches generated, clinging to the sweet scent of its flowers as the only sign that his words were well received by her. It was all he had, all he had left of her, and for now that was enough. He still wasn't sure how he would fulfill his promises or even where to begin. But he was sure of one thing, and that was that his love for her was stronger than fate itself and there was no force on the continent that could stop him from keeping his promise this time.

The solution to his dilemma presented itself almost by accident. And it came from the place Geralt least expected. He had spent the last few months visiting every library he had access to, reading every book and consulting with every expert he knew in his desperate search to find a way to bring his beloved back to life. But in the end, it was Jaskier who presented him with a solution in the form of a song. 

They were traveling on a back road after a successful job. The bard had offered to accompany him under the excuse that he needed new inspirations, but Geralt knew he was doing it because he didn't want to leave him alone. Jaskier knew the pain he felt and being the good friend he was he wanted to accompany him in mourning. Geralt appreciated him even if he didn't have the strength to say it in words. His light-hearted comments and meaningless ramblings were exactly what he needed to distract his tormented mind. Even his spontaneous singing at the worst possible moment cheered him up instead of irritating him as usual. Anything to help him concentrate on something else was welcomed.

They had been walking for hours, hoping to reach the next town before dark and sleep in a comfortable bed in a warm room and not in the middle of the forest again. They were quiet, only the chirping of birds and the sound of leaves crunching under their feet echoed in the air. They had run out of things to talk about an hour ago and Jaskier was starting to get bored. So he did what he always did when he found himself in that situation, sing. Only this time Geralt didn't recognize the verses as one of his own original songs. It was one he had not heard him sing before, so he paid attention.

It told the story of a young man that had managed to win the heart of a forest nymph with his beautiful singing. The connection they shared was so strong that they married shortly after meeting, in the same place where they first saw each other. Happiness and love filled their days for a few long and joyful months. That was until fate, jealous and bitter, stood in the way of their happiness. So, one morning, after being bitten by a snake, the young nymph died. Her beloved fell into a state of despair when he heard the tragic news. Unable to accept that his wife had been taken from his life without warning, he descended into the depths of the underworld to plead for her soul. The song narrated the difficulties of his journey and the perseverance with which he had faced each difficulty until he reached the lord of the underworld himself, to whom he tearfully begged for the return of his wife. The emotion in his words was such that he managed to move Hades, who gave in to his prayers. Although he imposed a condition: that he would not turn around to see his wife's soul following his steps until he left the underworld.

The story did not end well since the young man had been too eager and had turned to see his beloved before she was completely above ground. But Geralt didn't care about that somber detail. His attention was focused on the young man and his journey to the underworld, not only because he felt somehow connected to the emotions of sadness and despair he felt, but also because he was fairly certain he could recreate his heroic efforts.

"Are you crazy?" was Jaskier's reaction to hearing Geralt's idea, his voice raised in a tone of surprise and concern. "Haven't you heard the end of the song? Things go wrong! He doesn't get his wife back!"

“I know, but I don’t care.”

“Geralt, the story it’s just a myth… a tragic love story that one could say is a cautionary tale! You’re not supposed to follow in his footsteps, you’re supposed to learn to live with the grief, process your emotions and eventually move on… Look, I know this is hard for you. I miss her too… What happened to her wasn’t fair, but it wasn't your fault either. Blindly following the words of a myth is not going to change anything.”

“But it’s not a myth, not all of it at least.” Geralt recognized that the love story of the young man and the forest nymph might be an invention, but he knew of the existence of a door to the underworld. It was hidden and required great power and extensive knowledge of magic to be opened, but it was real. And fortunately for him, he knew one of the most powerful and skilled mages on the continent. Though convincing her to help him would not be an easy task given how things had ended between them.

"Why should I help you?" Yennefer said with annoyance in her voice when he showed up unannounced to ask for her help. It was clear that she did not enjoy the witcher's surprise visit and was not shy about showing it. "And more importantly, why are you asking for my help with something like this? I thought you of all people would know how dangerous opening the doors of the underworld is."

"Why do you care?" Geralt answered her with another question. To be honest, he didn't think the difficulties in getting her help would come from a moral issue. Yennefer was not the type of mage who cared too much about such things. "Are you in this or not?"

"That depends... what's in it for me? I hope you know I'm not going to waste my energy in helping you out of the goodness of my heart, not after all the shit you did." Geralt smiled at her remark, surprised that it had taken her so long to once again blurt out her complaints about him saving her life. She was still angry at him for linking their destinies with the wish to the Djinn and at this point he doubted she would ever get over it. 

"You get the once in a lifetime chance to traverse the underworld and possibly get knowledge beyond anyone's comprehension." He simply stated.

Yennefer was silent for a moment, watching Geralt intently, violet eyes piercing his yellow orbs. It alerted him to strengthen his mental shield to keep her from entering his thoughts. 

"When you live as long as I have, once in a lifetime opportunities start losing power and meaning."

"I'm offering you an opportunity to explore the unexplored and that's your answer? This could have all the answers you've spent years looking for and you're not interested?"

"Oh I'm interested, I just can't understand why Geralt of Rivia, the mighty witcher who prides in his indifference and ability to not intervene, would be interested in opening the gates to the underworld?"

"I have my reasons and they are not of your concern. Are you going to help me or not?"

Yennfer was silent for a moment, considering her options. And then, she smiled at him, and he knew he could count on her help.

Preparing for such an adventure was difficult. It was the first time in his life that Geralt did not know what to expect. He had no idea what he was going to encounter once they crossed the gates to the world of the dead. He didn't know what kind of obstacles he would encounter on the journey or if he would even accomplish his task. But he had to try. Even if it was the last thing he did, he owed it to her. 

It was difficult to prepare for the uncertain, so he tried to imagine all possible scenarios and prepare accordingly. He tried to be as meticulous as possible, but he knew it was impossible to stay on top of everything. What he never imagined, however, was that trouble would come from Yennefer's end. He always saw her as such a powerful and determined individual that he did not take into consideration that her energy could wear out and her magic could be consumed. Geralt had no way of really knowing how demanding the spell to open the gates of the underworld would be. He knew it was not something that just anyone could do, but he thought Yennefer could handle it without much trouble. He had never seen magic like hers. And what she lacked in skill, she made up for in stubbornness, so he thought that with her by his side things would not be so difficult.

However, the moment they took a step into the world of the dead, Yennefer fell weakly into the witcher's arms. She muttered something about having spent her energy and how the nature of the place did not allow her to pull herself together. Geralt suggested that she stay outside, after all, this wasn't her fight and she didn't have to risk so much for him. And at that instant, as if the walls were listening to them, the doors closed, leaving only one possible path.

The place was cold and dark, like a cave hidden deep in a mountain. There was not so much as a ray of sunlight, the little light that illuminated their way came from torches distributed along the stone walls. The air was heavy, stale, and it was hard to breathe. It was clear that this was no place for the living, but Geralt continued on his way despite the difficulties. He took Yennefer by the waist, letting her wrap one arm around his shoulders so she could walk, and followed the straight path that the torches seemed to indicate. At the end of the tunnel he came to a large river, and on the shore rested a boat. Inside it stood a hooded figure, long black robes covered its entire body in a way that Geralt could not see its face when it turned to look at them, only a void lost inside the hood.

"He's been waiting for you." The figure spoke, stepping aside so they could board the boat. Geralt hesitated, thinking back to all the catastrophic scenarios he had imagined in preparation for this moment. Surely that had to be a trap, things couldn't be that simple, could they?

"He wants to speak to you, Geralt of Rivia." The figure spoke again as it noticed the hesitation in the witcher's attitude. "He sent me to find you and ensure your safe passage through these waters." He did not trust it, but Yennefer pushed him into the boat with what little strength she had, so he had no other choice.

The dark figure did not utter another word. It went about its task in complete silence, paddling in the waters of oblivion until it brought them close to shore. It did not help them down once they reached their destination, nor did it open its mouth to give them directions. Just pointed a long, skeletal finger toward the horizon and set off the same way it had come. 

A dark, dead forest loomed before them. Long, thin tree trunks, nearly leafless branches and shabby bushes decorated the path. Everything seemed to be in shades of black and gray, though that was probably due to the lack of sun. In the distance a structure could be seen, a castle whose colors matched the rest of the landscape. Although the neat and polished appearance of its exterior contrasted with the disheveled and dead environment around it. It was clear that that was where they should go, so Geralt took Yennefer in his arms once more and set off on his way. 

There was not much distance separating them from the castle, but the witcher felt as if he had spent an eternity walking. And yet, at the same time, when he reached the large wooden gates, he was amazed to have reached his destination so quickly.  His perception of time was totally altered, affected by the atmosphere of the place.  Time did not flow there in the same way as it did on the surface. It was as if it was both stopped and accelerated all at once, as if each step took hours and at the same time a couple of seconds. It was more than the absence of sunlight confusing his perception. It was the way things worked in that place, a world separate from the one lying on the surface that he was not supposed to access.

The man who appeared in front of them when the doors opened on their own was imposing, but far less frightening than Geralt expected. It was enough to look into his eyes to know that he was the person in charge of the place. Power shone in his eyes in the same way the witcher had seen it in the kings in the world of the living. And yet, there was something unique about them, something that made it clear that he was no mere mortal. Geralt knew better than to challenge him, though he wasn't sure his emotions would allow him to be cautious if things didn't go as he hoped.

"I've been waiting for you, witcher." the god said in a loud, clear voice. "I'm surprised it took you this long to find me."

Geralt was not pleased to learn that he had been waiting for him. He had imagined it might be a possibility, but he thought the god would use that knowledge to stop him. The fact that he welcomed him without trials or difficulties, sending his people to look for him and opening the doors of his home to him without hesitation, made him suspicious.  For all he knew, it could all be a trap.

"Oh don't flatter yourself, witcher! I have far more important things to do than to set you up." The god spoke as if reading his thoughts. 

"You knew I was coming?" Geralt managed to say and the god nodded.

"And most importantly, I know why you are here. I knew you were going to find your way here the second she came in."

The mere mention of his beloved in the conversation had Geralt's heart racing, a gesture of both love and anxiety. He felt Yennefer's eyes on him, watching him with furrowed brows as she tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. She knew of his former lover, the forest nymph he had abandoned after their destinies were linked, and he had no doubt that she would understand what was happening in just a second, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to have her back.

"So, I'm assuming you know why I'm here."

"I do, yes. And I will not be opposing to your wishes, Geralt of Rivia. I knew from the first moment that this was not her time and I am willing to give her another chance to live out her destiny without surprise interruptions from magic... However, I do have one condition."

"And you say it was not a trap..."

"It is not! It is just a simple... exchange."

"An exchange of what?"

The god paused, taking his moment to answer.

"Souls are complex things, Geralt. Very powerful, very strong... I can't just let one walk out of here."

"Why not? You have plenty here."

"It's a matter of balance, I don't expect you to understand that. But, if you want your dear nymph back, you'll have to give me a soul in return."

Geralt was silent for a moment, carefully analyzing his situation. After all the work it had taken him to get there, he didn't plan to leave empty-handed. But he also didn't want to condemn an innocent soul who had nothing to do with his mistakes. So he knew exactly what he had to do.

"Fine," the witcher agreed. "Take me then. My soul for hers, it's only fair."

Yennefer tugged on his arm, ready to argue with him —thinking he was acting like an idiot by offering his life as if it was nothing—, but was interrupted before she could open her mouth by the laughter of the god in front of them.

"It's a nice gesture, but your soul isn't nearly powerful enough. It's better than an ordinary human’s soul, I'll give you that, but she's a nymph. Do you have any idea how much energy her soul contains?"

"Then name your price." Geralt said. He wasn't necessarily going to give in to his demands, but he figured it didn't hurt to learn what the god's wishes were.

"To be honest, I don't think you can get a soul of such power... however, you do have access to one that is quite close." Geralt didn't like the suggestive tone in the god's voice. And he liked it even less when his eyes fell on Yennefer as he finished the sentence.

"No!" The witcher declared as he understood the intentions behind those words. He had brought Yennefer with him to help him open the portal and nothing else. He refused to sacrifice one more life. No one else had to suffer because of his stupid decisions.

"She wouldn't suffer." The god spoke after glancing at Geralt's thoughts. "She doesn't even have to be dead, she just has to stay here with me."

"I don’t care. We're not doing this."

"Why don't you let her decide?" The god said, resting his eyes on Yennefer's violet ones. "It is a good deal. You get your lover back and she gets-"

"She gets imprisoned here forever." Geralt interrupted and the god looked at him wearily.

"She gets to be the most powerful madge in history, sitting by my side ruling the underworld... isn't that what you always wanted, Yennefer of Vengerberg, to have power beyond imaginable? What's more powerful than deciding between life and death?"

Geralt snorted at such words, finding the god's tricks very ineffective. But when he looked back at Yennefer, she had a look in her eyes that made him doubt. "You're not seriously considering his proposal, aren't you?" he approached her, speaking in a lower tone of voice so as not to be heard by the god.

"If we leave now then we traveled this far for nothing. Don't you want to get her back?"

"No if it means hurting innocent people. You have nothing to do with this."

"Except I do since the moment you made that srupid wish."

"I didn't save your life then just to leave you here now."

"You're not leaving me, I'm choosing to stay."

"You don't have to do this, Yennefer." Geralt's voice became softer. She seemed quite sure of her decision and he knew it would not be easy to persuade her otherwise, but he had to try. He didn't like the idea of leaving her behind, of sacrificing her in favor of his own happiness. 

"Oh, please! I'm not doing this just for you. I usually don't like to waste my time and energy just to end up empty handed. I came here because, as you said, it was an opportunity to find the answers I've been looking for. So why don't you worry about you and let me worry about myself?"

Yennefer rolled her eyes. And while she wasn't lying and really had interests of her own in that place, Geralt really was a big part of the reason she wanted to accept the god's offer. There was something in his eyes, the sparkle of true love, that shone every time he thought of his departed lover. It was something she had never noticed in his eyes when he looked at her. It was clear that what they had was real, it softened her hardened and withering heart, and gave her hope that love was real. Though of course, she would never admit that to Geralt. 

The witcher growled under his breath, clenching his jaw. Even though part of him didn't like the idea of leaving Yennefer behind, he couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved to hear those words. If she wanted to stay there for her own selfish reasons, then accepting the god's proposal was much easier on his conscience. 

"Are you sure about this?" He asked her once more, giving her one last chance to back out. 

Yennefer shrugged. "I lived a long time among the living, had my good share of adventures... maybe it's time to try my luck in the underworld. "

That answer was good enough for Geralt. He accepted the god's proposal, exchanging Yennefer's soul for that of his beloved nymph. She would stay in the underworld with him and in return Geralt would get a second chance with his lover. The god instructed him to return home and assured him that when he arrived, her soul would already be back in her birth tree.

As he made his way back, the thought that the god was tricking him crossed his mind. He realized that he really had nothing to assure him that he would keep his word. For all he knew, this could have been a strange move by the god to get to Yennefer and her powers for some reason he did not know. Perhaps he was being used as a pawn in a larger chess game that he did not know he was part of. Perhaps he had unleashed a terrible evil upon the continent without realizing it.

But then he felt it. 

The sweet scent of flowers assaulted his nostrils the moment he set foot in the forest. It was strong, much stronger than it had been in a long time. He noticed then that everything looked greener and more alive, every flower, bush and plant glowing in the warm sunlight in a way that they didn't when he left. Even the birds seemed to sing louder and more cheerfully. 

Geralt ran to the cherry blossom tree he had been tending for what had felt like an eternity. His heart was racing with every step he took, not from the physical effort, but from the anticipation. The hope of seeing her again was what had kept him sane since that horrible day he had lost her. All this time he had thought it was impossible, an illusion that only served to keep him on his feet until the pain subsided. But now it was a reality, and he had so many emotions swirling inside him that he didn't know exactly what to feel.

Suddenly, his eyes came upon a figure on the horizon. It was partially blocked by the rays of sunlight that kept him from seeing clearly, so he picked up his pace to get closer. Little by little the figure revealed itself in front of him, until it became clear to him that the one who was walking around the forest, picking flowers and petting the animals, was her. 

She looked as beautiful as he remembered her, with her long hair blowing in the wind and a sweet smile on her face. It was as if time had never passed, as if that horrible day and the pain that her death had unleashed had been just a bad dream. It was as if he had never lost her.

Geralt stopped in his tracks as his eyes fell on hers, paralyzed by the emotions coursing through him. All this time he had dreamed of this moment and now that he had her only a few feet away he didn't know how to react. His eyes blurred with tears, but he caught a glimpse of his beloved's figure running to him before he felt the warmth of her body in his arms. He held her tighter than he ever had, pulling her against his chest as a way of both making sure she was real and that she couldn't pull away from him.

"You came for me." She muttered, melting into the embrace. Her memory was somewhat fuzzy, but she remembered clearly the moment when the blade of the dagger had caressed her neck. She remembered how it had felt and the horror in Geralt's eyes as she fell into his arms, taking her last breaths. She remembered his words of comfort and his promise to make things right, as if he actually could. She still didn't understand how she was back there, but she knew it was Geralt she had to thank for her second chance at life. Somehow, he had found a way to bring her back, she was sure of that.

"I'll always come back for you." 

The kiss they shared was unlike any other. It was passionate and desperate, yet soft and tender. It was charged with all the emotions that had been left unsaid between them, sadness, regret, longing, but, above all, love. They felt that spark the moment their lips brushed, just like in the old days. Geralt hadn't realized how much he had missed feeling her soft lips on his until that moment. He allowed himself to get lost in the joy he felt, letting the warmth of her body against his slowly remove the traces of sadness and pain that had haunted him all this time.

They remained in each other's arms for a long time, enjoying the moment they had both been longing for so long. It was just him, her and the chirping of birds in the trees. Breathing in the floral scent of her hair, Geralt knew that the gray days were behind him. Gone were the guilt and the pain, the sleepless nights and the cold mornings without his beloved. She was back by his side, just as she always should have been. And he was more than happy for the new beginning he had with her. A new chance to make things right, to honor his word and keep his promise, just as he should have done from the beginning. He was ashamed that he had had to lose her to realize how big his mistake had been, but now that he had her back he wasn't going to let her go. His love had proven to be stronger than everything, even death itself.

#geralt of rivia x reader #geralt x reader #geralt of rivia x fem reader #geralt of rivia angst #the witcher x reader #the witcher #geralt of rivia #the witcher netflix #geralt of rivia x female reader #geralt of rivia fluff

[green-alm0nd]

[Crosshair x gn!reader]: Just breathe

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Summary:

In which Crosshair fails Omega, missing the shot that took her away from Pabu and back to Tantiss. He feels guilty, and angry at himself. Luckily, you're always there for him.

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR TBB S3 E11, swearing, angst, panic attacks, breakdowns, comfort, reader being Crosshair's shoulder to rely on. Kinda short but there's comfort in the end.

Enjoy!

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The waves on the shore of Pabu always brought a sense of comfort to the townspeople.

To Crosshair, however, brought a sense of dread when he saw his locator fall to the enraged water below the island.

It had been his hand. His damn hand.

He suddenly felt cold, a shiver running through his spine. He had failed, and a sense of guilt, dread and disappointment ran through his body, from head to toe.

His hand started shaking uncontrollably, and he gripped it tightly in order to make it stop. But he couldn't.

His heartbeat quickened, and found it hard to breathe. He took his helmet off, his fingers gripping the stone of the rock fence.

"Cross! Cross! Are you okay?!"

His eyes widened, he did not want to deal with you now. Not because you were too bubbly for him at that moment, but he didn't want you to see him so insecure.

He started breathing heavily, and clenched his chest with one hand while his other hand was placed between you both.

"Get- away from me."

You frowned.

"Cross..." You whispered, very slowly getting closer. You took very small steps, trying to ignore the fact that the Imperial ship was leaving the now partially destroyed island of Pabu. Eventually, you reached a point where his palm was stopping you from helping your boyfriend.

"Can I touch you?" You asked, keeping your calm.

Crosshair continued hyperventilating, and he let out the smallest nod he ever gave you. To this, you grabbed both his hands and started rubbing circles around them.

"Crosshair. Look at me"

He didn't raise his head. He was terrified of what you would think when you saw he was weak.

"Crosshair." You said, slowly bringing your fingers to his chin, lifting his face up.

His eyes filled with tears, and he started breaking down while his breathing only got faster, and worse. He didn't know how to stop it.

You placed your hand on his heart.

"Breath with me, Cross. Inhale," You started, inhaling a big chunk of air. Crosshair did so, but it wasn't as long and as slow. It's seemed like he was trying his best, though. "...And exhale."

You let all the air out, staring at him.

"Let's go again. Inhale... exhale. Inhale...exhale..."

Slowly but surely, Crosshair's breathing slowed down. Until, he just looked at you in a numb way. Almost as if he was too tired to show his feelings.

Eventually, he looked down, and decided to speak.

"I failed. The shot."

You raised an eyebrow.

"What shot?" You asked.

"Omega. She got captured and expected me to shoot a tracker on the ship. But it fell to the water, because of my hand." He replied, growling at the last part.

Your eyes widened.

"Omega...?" You asked. "How?"

Crosshair sighed.

"She didn't want the people suffer more than they already have." He explained, curtly.

You covered your mouth with your hand. That was the worst thing you wanted to hear after your boyfriend missing a shot.

You tried to see the 'bigger picture', though there was no bigger picture in that situation.

You looked at him.

"We'll...figure something out, I promise. Let's focus on what to tell Hunter."

Crosshair nodded.

Moments like this, when he was lost in the darkness, he'd let you physically get closer to him. He was not one to really like physical touch, but more fond of gift giving. Still, he let you hug him this time. You wrapped your arms around the tall, slim figure that was trembling. For a snarky man like Crosshair, it scared you a bit to see him like this.

He looked helpless, unprotected, defenceless, even.

You shook your thoughts away, and tried to focus on the moment in the middle of the aftermath of the battle.

After you pulled away, you kissed Crosshair's shoulder.

"We'll figure something out. I promise."

----

Some comfort before The Bad Batch ep 15 comes out!

Reblogs and shares are highly appreciated!

My requests are still open :p

#the bad batch #tbb crosshair #crosshair #crosshair the bad batch #star wars #the bad batch x reader #bad batch #star wars tbb #crosshair x reader #the bad batch fanfiction

[lightwise]

Be There - Parts 1 & 2

Note: As I like to do (aka my brain holds me hostage until it is satisfied), I had to fill in a couple of moments that we didn’t get in S3 E4 - A Different Approach. I am approaching Tech and Echo’s absence as each character is aware of it so far—so whether he is dead or simply gone, mentions of Tech are not meant to imply that he is physically present in these scenes. 

Enjoy. 

Read both parts together here on AO3.

SPOILERS for season 3 of TBB ahead.

Part 1: Our mission isn’t over yet. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

Wrecker stared unblinking at the yellow transmission light as it lit up for the third time. Hunter had stepped away from the console for a brief minute to rest his eyes. This wasn’t standard procedure. When Echo or Rex or Phee needed to reach them, they usually used their wrist comms or the portable holo. The inbuilt console had been…Tech’s domain. 

“Uh, Hunter…you might wanna see this.”

A gruff sigh came from the pilot’s seat. “See what, Wreck?” 

The last beep finally entered Hunter’s consciousness as he tried to brush off the weariness that threatened to overtake him. So far they were only a third of the way around the sector found in the data from Setron. More time had been lost taking the cadets all the way out to Pabu too (not that he regretted the stop). His mind couldn’t shut off, wouldn’t stop thinking through the next place they could look every time a planet turned up empty, but he could feel his ligaments starting to fray at the edges in protest. 

Wrecker would have pointed out that he had been falling apart at more than the edges for awhile now. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered until they brought her home. He just needed to keep it together until then. 

“I…I don’t remember what the codes mean but…isn’t that…does this…”

Hunter rubbed his eyes wearily, trying to get them to focus enough to read the sharp white letters that had appeared on the dashboard. Two innocuous lines, in an old coding sequence that Tech had set up before…he blinked that thought away. 

OM.P53.NMR.2SR. BT.

Plan 53 (all comms silent for a stealth rendezvous). Nearest moon of Ryloth. 2 standard rotations. Be there. 

But it was the first letters in the sequence that caused his heart to stop in his chest. 

“I shall make it so that the first two letters of each of our names signify who is sending the message. They should always be the first letters in the sequence.” A tilt of the head and a push of the goggles up his nose had accompanied Tech giving a very pointed look in Wrecker’s direction. “That should be easier to remember than full code names, I hope.”

OM. Omega. It couldn’t be. It had to be. Nobody outside of the Batch knew this frequency—or code.

“It’s HER.” 

He gripped the edge of the console in a daze. How?? She had escaped? She had somehow found a way to contact them. She…she was alive.

“But…how do we know for sure?” Wrecker’s eyebrows pinched together in concern. “After all the luck we’ve been having…what if this is a trap, Hunter?”

The words Hunter had said before their failed mission to Eriadu haunted him now, thrown back in his face like a taunt. He knew Wrecker didn’t mean it that way, though.

“I don’t think it’s a trap. I really don’t think so. But either way…we have to try it.” He glanced at the chronometer on the dash and pulled up the coordinates to Ryloth. “Especially this location…only Omega would have picked here, where she met Hera for the first time. She knows it will be off the radar but easy to get to. We can just make it if we get going now.” He had barely swung the pilot’s seat back around before furiously punching in the coordinates. 

The Marauder’s engines picked up from their lull as they launched forward into hyperspace. Wrecker slumped into the seat beside him, staring out the flickering blue around them for a long moment. He had picked up Lula from her perch on Omega’s blanket at some point, and was passing her tenderly back and forth in his hands. 

“I really hope you’re right.”

They cautiously exchanged glances as the shock and adrenaline of the last few minutes wore off. For the first time in a very, very, long time, Hunter felt the faintest flicker of something he could call hope. But he didn’t dare let it burst into full flame. Not yet. 

Wrecker suddenly chuckled and clapped his hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “Ya know, we’re a mess. We really should clean up before we get there.” His voice lowered a bit as he added, “no reason making her worry any more than she probably already is at how rough we look.” 

Hunter scowled and pinched his brow. His brother was right. The lack of sleep and hygiene had caught up with them at this point, and they smelled worse than they looked. Omega would be able to see the wear and tear on their armor eventually, but at least they could be presentable to welcome her home. 

“Fine, I’ll go shower,” he huffed, giving Wrecker a strained grin that turned into a groan as he tore his limbs out of the seat. 

The view in the mirror only confirmed his disheveled state, and he groaned again as he tugged the bandana off his forehead and slumped against the fresher wall.

Please, please let this be real. I don’t know if I can bear another false lead.

They had crossed the galaxy five times at this point. He would a hundred more if that’s what it took. They didn’t leave their own behind.

Most of the time. 

His ears began ringing. The unbidden thought that had been slowly poking its way through his subconscious finally breached the surface. What if…what if Omega had been taken to the same facility as Crosshair. What if they had found each other? What if…she wasn’t alone?

Deke’s words had been painfully etching their way deeper and deeper into his heart since the boy had carelessly uttered them.

“At least you’re loyal.” 

If only he knew. Once Hunter had claimed those words proudly. It was the ethos he had lived by. Still wanted to live by. But…he wasn’t sure he deserved that label anymore. Too many mistakes had been made. He had failed too many times. 

Echo had told him once that their unbeatable streak on missions during the war wasn’t necessarily a good thing. And every time Hunter thought he was making the right decision, he ended up proving him right. He wasn’t prepared for the weight of failure. For the ways everything kept slipping through his clenched fists. For watching his brother point a rifle in his face and walk away. For not having the right words to bring him back. For all the ways he had to choose when there was no good choice to be had. For watching his entire world fall away. For picking shattered goggles up off the ground. For the dark and empty gunners mount that had been staring him in the face for five and a half months. 

Silver hair and a toothpick between thin lips suddenly floated in front of his eyes, sneering at him. Every choice you’ve made has been wrong. We’re all lost because of you. And then it shifted, the silver hair morphing into a scarred head and terrified, wide eyes that glistened with tears. Begging, pleading. Why weren’t you weren’t loyal to me?

No, no, no, NO. Hunter dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying desperately to stop the vortex spinning out of control inside his head. A sob escaped his lips as he collapsed onto the floor. He could never repair any of this. He didn’t know how. 

He sucked in a breath as he felt the faint pressure of a hand on his shoulder that couldn’t possibly be there. A clipped voice suddenly echoed through his mind. I have found that repairs, while daunting at first, simply take repeated effort and inclination in order to achieve them. It’s like a puzzle. The pieces are there, you just have to pay attention and take the time to put them back together. Steady hands. No Hunter, try moving it this way. See? I knew you could do it. 

If only he was here. Hunter wiped the traces of tears from his eyes as his hitched breathing slowly evened out. Whatever—whoever was waiting for them on that moon—he would have to face them. Whether it was a waking dream or another nightmare. He had crossed the galaxy five times in as many months. But he still hadn’t been able to outrun the pain. Hadn’t been able to outrun himself.  

It was time to try a different approach.   

Maybe not everything had to be lost. 

-----------

Part 2: You don’t know if they’re still alive.  

“They’ll be there.”

She had cut him off adamantly. The full force of her hope (her naïveté, he had called it just a few hours prior), pushing firmly against his gentle attempt at reason. 

Crosshair knew he wasn’t just trying to prepare Omega for the possibility that Hunter and Wrecker might not be waiting for them. For them? No, they would only be waiting for her. They had stopped waiting for him a long time ago.

No, his words were more an attempt at quelling his own twisted anxiety at the prospect of facing his brothers again. It had been…a year? More? Since he had stayed behind on that blasted platform. It felt like ten lifetimes ago now. So much had changed. He had changed. Or had he? 

 A staccato thud flung them out of hyperspace, the stolen freighter now drifting quietly past the two giant orange moons that guarded Omega’s choice of rendezvous. 

Still standing behind the copilot chair, his trained eye spotted the tiny speck of light coming from the open ramp of the Marauder. So they were alive. Of course. The tiniest twitch spasmed in Crosshair’s chest at the sight. 

That open door was for her, he reminded himself again. Not him. 

The girl stood unmoving as they touched down. Her spine straight, shoulders pulling down and back, and he could see the faintest reflection in the viewport of tears welling up in her eyes. 

The ramp began to lower and she suddenly came to life, arms and legs almost flailing in her haste to reach the ground. Though he could no longer see her face, as she paused at the last step Crosshair could tell that a weight had lifted from her shoulders. The weight of taking care of herself, taking care of him, getting them both to safety. 

She had accomplished her mission. 

He had to admit, he was impressed by her. Maybe he was starting to understand a little of how quickly Hunter’s loyalty had transferred to her, how she must have driven them all crazy at first with her bright-eyed optimism and inability to take no for an answer.

She really was the best of them. 

He sighed as her words echoed in his mind—“I’m not giving up, Crosshair! I won’t let you either.” Her stubbornness was certainly the family trait, and perhaps surpassed his own.  

Those words had somehow burrowed into his chest and wouldn’t leave. But they hadn’t shocked him. He expected her to say them to anyone. They fit perfectly within the love and loyalty she showed everyone around her.     

What had shocked him were the ones she said later, after he had tried every tactic he could think of to get her focus off of him and onto her own safety. He had long since accepted what the rest of his accelerated lifespan might be—serving as a test tube and punching bag for the Empire he had once sought glory from. How fitting, really. It was his penance, for everything he had done. Everything he had failed to do. 

Why should he have a chance to live when...he sighed again and pushed away the memories threatening to engulf him. Long brown hair and a beard blurred white with snow. Round, yellow-tinted lenses blinking pointedly in his direction. The remnants of a skull chalked onto the back wall of a bunk—just enough dust left to stain his fingers. 

“None of us belong here.”

The Empire changed people. For the worse. But after all those months of isolation, all his attempts to drive her away, to keep his distance so she would stay safe—he never expected for those wide eyes to practically beam sunlight at him in that force-forsaken, grey haze of a prison. She had seen him, then. Truly seen him for who he was—and still believed in him. In all of them.  

She had tried to give him the same outstretched hand many times before—during their desperate attempts to flee the sinking facilities of Kamino; on the sun-soaked platform after. In that makeshift holding cell after Kaller, where all of this had started. 

He wasn’t sure what surprised him more—that she had offered it one more time, or that he was finally willing to try and accept it. 

Batcher whined from her corner of the cockpit, tilting her head hesitantly at Crosshair as he remained fixated, unable to move from the viewport. His musings faded as he saw a shift in the light; Wrecker’s large form had suddenly darkened the doorway of the Marauder. 

Crosshair dug his spine into the door frame behind him, waiting. 

He didn’t have Hunter’s hearing, but he didn’t need it. He could imagine just how loud the shout of joy was that Wrecker let out as he ran to meet his little—their little sister. A faint smirk threatened to tilt his lips as the giant of a man lifted Omega high above his head and spun her around, wiping tears unashamedly from his eyes. Crosshair expected nothing less. He was sure there were matching tears streaming down Omega’s face as she clung desperately to her—their brother.

But where was…Crosshair’s eyes narrowed as they caught movement inside the Marauder. Was he truly prepared to see the etched face of his former leader, brother—friend—once again? A now familiar yet terrifyingly unwelcome spasm in his hand told him he was not.  

Hunter emerged from the shadows, stopping before the overhead light could illuminate his face. 

He must have said something, before practically leaping down the Marauder’s ramp as Omega catapulted herself forward again. Crosshair’s eyes softened as he watched his stoic, touch-averse brother cradle the girl in his arms, his eyes closed, his hands shifting over her back as though he would never let her go. 

Could he blame him?

But the atmosphere shifted abruptly as Hunter pulled back, his warm smile and affectionate gaze at Omega turning into a wide-eyed, disbelieving gape as he lifted his eyes toward the freighter behind her. There was no way he could see him through the tint of the cockpit, but his other senses were more than adequate at that distance. Hunter had finally realized that Omega had not escaped alone.

Crosshair felt panic wash over him. His gaze shifted to the pilot’s controls. It would be so easy to take the wheel and disappear, leave them all behind once again. Omega was safe. That was all that mattered, right? He could ditch the ship and find work on some backwater planet, do his best to keep off the Empire’s radar.

Batcher slowly shook herself and stood up from where she had been napping the last few hours, her eyes never leaving his. His lips tightened into a thin line as they stared each other down.  

He finally let out a disgruntled sigh, shaking his head and crouching down until he could rest his hand on the curve of her head. 

“I know, I know.”

She growled a little and then licked his hand, pointedly ignoring the scowl he gave in return. 

“I’m done running. Promise.” 

He achingly stood back to his full height and turned toward the back of the ship. He could almost feel Hunter’s shocked gaze still on him. Whatever message Omega had sent them, they clearly hadn’t been expecting him to walk down that ramp after her. After all the wrong choices—how could this one possibly go any better?

The tremor took over his hand again. But he suddenly, faintly, felt the pressure of a familiar, slender hand on his shoulder. And another, firmer grip cradling his trembling fingers, easing the shattered nerves. A pulse he thought he would never hear again thrummed next to his own for the briefest of seconds. 

He had nothing left to lose. 

It was time to try living again. 

Divider by the lovely @dystopicjumpsuit ✨

#the bad batch #tbb #star wars #crosshair #crosshair bad batch #tbb crosshair #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch fanfiction #fanfiction #tbb fanfic #tbb fanfiction #tbb season 3 #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #a different approach #some light ramblings #somelightramblings

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#10: The Grand Introduction (S3E06)

✨Top 10! ✨From here on out, we’re in truly iconic territory when it comes to the Richonne scenes on this list. And, of course, this absolutely unforgettable s3 moment right here is as iconic as they come. 🤩 I adore that this is where it all began. Where Richonne really was born. This is one of the most significant Richonne moments because it's the very first one. And what a special first one it was. It's only fitting for Rick and Michonne's epic love story to begin with such an epic introduction...

I'll always appreciate that this is one of the most heightened and important meetings of two characters in the whole TWD series. And it’s fitting because it establishes right from the jump that Rick and Michonne would become very very important to each other.

It’s so sweet that in such a precious familial moment between Rick, Carl, and Judith that’s the exact moment when the matriarch of the Grimes family arrives.

And I always love how, despite several people around, it’s Rick who spots Michonne from super far away and walks over on his own.

It feels like the universe’s own, "It’s for you" moment. 😌

As Michonne walks up to the fence, resiliently finding the prison and making it there despite being injured, I love that it’s Rick who walks toward her as though summoned by Cupid himself, cuz it shows those magnets started kicking in immediately.

And then I adore that there’s almost this unspoken passionate energy behind this scene as Rick and Michonne lock eyes for the first time and stare at each other from across the fence.

But it's so much more than a meet cute. It's utterly grand. This is the moment that kicked off the love story to top all love stories so of course it’s uniquely special. #historic

Having watched separate stories from Rick dealing with hardship at the prison and Michonne dealing with issues at Woodbury,  I love that this is the moment their stories finally join.

They finally get a major win because they found each other. Rick and Michonne's lives collide here and then only become more and more one.

I love that Michonne is here holding formula for Judith, the baby who will become her daughter. I've written before that I feel like part of what might have helped spur her to go to the prison is knowing there was a baby in there that needed that formula.

And it's great how from the literal moment she arrives Michonne is already being majorly helpful to Rick. She's brought his baby the sustenance she needs to live and then later has intel about Glenn and Maggie's whereabouts.

And I like that she stays fearlessly standing in between the walkers as they make eye contact through the fence. It lets Rick know this woman is special and brave. I've always felt the visual is a beautiful illustration of the living being found among the dead & love being found among loss. 

Rick had been having an episode of understandably losing it prior and was finally able to emerge from the darkness for a moment and hold Judith. And it's just precious to think that Rick first holds his daughter on the same day and in the same moment that he meets his wife and Judith’s mom.

It's poetic also when you know that Michonne and Judith are the two ladies he will later go on to declare as his ultimate choice, even after years apart from them. Warms my heart to no end. 😭

The way he walks over, the way Rick and Michonne seem to be taking each other in like “this is different.” You can’t tell me after these stare-downs that these two weren’t going to love each other eventually.

The innate draw and attraction were instant, and I love that we got to witness this love story from the literal first moment Rick and Michonne so passionately laid eyes on each other. 

This is the final beat of the episode cuz the end beat of an episode typically emphasizes something important that launches the story forward. And this introduction between Rick and Michonne would do just that, not only for the following episode but for the rest of the series. It changed the whole game. 💯

This scene is a powerful meeting between two tethered strangers destined to be tethered soulmates. And it's an extremely meaningful meeting as well because, from this point on, Rick and Michonne's journey to falling in love and building a whole life together would begin. Just life-changing in every way.

And I’ll add 3.07 to this too, because that’s when we get more of their interaction after their deep stares. I love that Michonne's future son and bestie Carl is the first one to ask about helping her and that he and Rick save her. It's like the first unofficial Grimes Family 2.0 moment. 🥰

Michonne even gets to demonstrate her resilient ability as she fights off those walkers before the pain from her gun wound takes over. And I bet Rick had to somewhat recognize the fight in her as the same fight in him. 

Then, after a quite thorough inspection to see if she's been bit, Rick easily carries Michonne over his shoulder to bring her into the prison, which...

It's giving a little romantic to me idk. 😋 And it just hit me that Rick picks up his daughter and his wife for the first time that day.

Inside the prison, they get her water and all that, and Rick introduces himself and asks her for her name, but Michonne won’t tell him. Understandably, cuz Sis had been through it at Woodbury with their crazy leader.

And y’all, I love this whole exchange, especially in retrospect, because it shows there was a fire between Rick and Michonne from the word go. 🔥

Rick and Michonne's whole first time in front of each other feels electric and passionate. Like even just from their movement alone in this scene, there's something magnetic.

I love that we’re witnessing two fierce fighters who have truly met their match. We're also witnessing the first of many times Rick and Michonne get publicly wrapped up in their Richonne bubble. 😌

It's interesting that the first thing Michonne ever says to Rick is, "I didn’t ask for your help." Because you'd think the first line was gonna be...

But fr, it ends up being pretty ironic that that's the first thing Michonne says to Rick because they both will help each other so much that it completely changes their lives for the better. And Rick tells her, "Can’t let you leave," which will also remain true forever. 😋 Cuz Michonne's never leaving that man's heart.

(Side note: Also, I realized there's significance in Rick saying "can't let you leave" because it's another thing that lets Michonne know Rick is different and better than the Governor. Where the Governor tried to act like people could come and go from Woodbury when they really couldn't, Rick is just honest and straightforward with it by saying they can't let her leave until they assess the situation, which is almost more reassuring for her to see him being upfront about it.)

So while I'm not in the camp of thinking they were in love at first sight, I do think Rick and Michonne were intrinsically drawn to each other at first sight and there was something special between them right there at that fence that would soon bloom into love. And if the current Rick were asked about this initial meeting with Michonne, I low-key feel he'd be like...

With their iconic grand introduction, Rick and Michonne truly changed each other's lives and ours. (oh and also the entrancement started from the jump too.⬇)

And while Rick and Michonne aren’t overly trusting of one another yet, I appreciate Rick’s willingness to help her out, offering to tend to her wound and all that.

As a screenwriter, I have this belief that when a story is right it almost wants to tell itself, as it organically flows in a certain direction. And then that's when as a writer you follow the story's lead and help sculpt that natural direction. So while the TWD writers didn't know for certain that Rick and Michonne would be a romantic pair in their first two episodes together...the story knew.

The way their introduction plays out in this personal yet grand sweeping way, with the two locking eyes and looking at each other not just with desperation or skepticism but with this underlying passionate intrigue as though the person they're looking at is both fascinating and familiar - Richonne's romance really was written in the stars right here, even before it was more intentionally planted in Clear.

It's a love story that was longing to be told. And I'll forever celebrate that Scott, Andy, and Danai listened to what the story was so clearly saying, and then sculpted the best love story I've ever seen.

Their whole meeting is just an introduction to remember and everything about Richonne's first moments together shouts...

Watching it back is even sweeter when you have the knowledge that on the other side of that fence, Rick and Michonne are looking at their soulmate, the person they will raise children with, have a child together, the person they will fall head over heels in love with.

Their lives joined forever on this day, and these two wouldn’t be the same without each other, so thank goodness for this unforgettable moment bringing Rick and Michonne iconically together. 😌🙌🏾

#richonne #top 30 #the top 10 begins! 🎉 #TOWL is just 10 days away and I've never been so ready and so not ready all at once 🙌🏽🫠 #number 10 #rick x michonne #reveling in richonne #twd 3.06 #twd towl #the ones who live

[queen-haq]

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 6

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Summary: They may have been friends once but his callous words decimated their relationship. Determined not to have anything to do with him, Penelope is ready to move on. But Colin isn’t giving up, not at all. Friends or not, they are connected for life - and he intends to remind her of that.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

Chapter 6

Dearest Penny,

I hope this letter finds you well.

My journey home was perilous and took far too long. However, I did receive good news upon my arrival. Mother was awake in bed, the worst of her illness having passed recently. It will still take a few weeks but the doctor is confident she will recover fully. I have told her a lot about you. As I predicted, she is excited to meet you. 

I miss you. I remind myself it’s only a matter of time before we can start our new life together, full of adventure and laughter, but it still feels too long.

Once my affairs are settled, I will be traveling to London to see you. I know your Mama will not take kindly to me but I hope to win her over with my intelligence and wit (I’m envisioning the mocking smile on your lips as I write this).  If all else fails, I shall win her approval through jewelry, as you suggested. Hopefully that will alleviate her concerns about an untitled son-in-law.

Love,

Arthur.

Penelope read the letter again, smiling to herself. While she and Arthur could converse for hours, his letters tended to be short and to the point. And though they lacked a writer’s flair, his letters still felt distinctly like him and she appreciated that.

With other men she was shy and tongue-tied, and they were never interested in her anyway, but Arthur Debling had been different. At a dinner gathering in Ayleshire, it was he who had approached her, and once she got over her initial shyness the conversation flowed between them. Perhaps it was because he was a merchant and not a member of nobility, but from the very beginning he treated her with respect and a matter-of-fact stance rarely displayed by others. To him she wasn’t some woman in desperate hunt for a husband or an awkward, shy wallflower to be avoided at all times. She was Penelope Featherington and she was enough.

For the first few weeks there had been no romantic intentions, they simply talked of art and poetry. Over time she came to see he possessed a brilliant scientific mind that he went out of his way to hide. Only when she questioned him did he finally admit he was embarrassed of his intelligence and felt the need to dampen his curious mind from others. That was the first night she started to see him in a different light.

“Penelope!”

The sound of Mama's voice brought Penelope out of her reverie. After hiding the letter, she made her way toward her mother’s chamber in the opposite corner of the hallway. Portia was already dressed for bed and brushing her hair when Penelope entered the room. “Yes, Mama?”

The older woman cast her a quick glance in the mirror. “Lady Violet has invited us for tea tomorrow afternoon.”

Pen paused. Tea at the Bridgertons meant seeing Eloise and perhaps even Colin. “I will be in-”

“And before you come down with a sudden case of illness, I will remind you that personal invitations of this nature have been rare of late. We can not afford to turn down any, let alone the Bridgertons.”

Between the Marina scandal and then Cousin Jack, there were many who no longer wished to associate with the Featheringtons. While that was a relief for Pen, she knew the slow exclusion really hurt Portia even if she did hide the pain behind a mask of angry condescension.

“Yes, Mama. I understand.”

“Good. Now get some sleep, child. I will not have you looking haggard tomorrow.”

Penelope sauntered back to her chamber, her mind still reeling. No doubt Eloise would be present and angry with her. Would she at least pretend to be polite? Pen didn’t know. So far they had mostly avoided each other, except for the ball last week when Eloise had warned her to stay away from Colin.

After entering the chamber, she was busy locking the door when a noise startled her.

“Pen.”

Colin’s throaty growl made her gasp, her body suddenly taut.

Hesitant, she turned around.

It had been two days since she last saw him at the park. And now he was here in her chamber, shamelessly sitting at the edge of her bed. Hair tousled, clothes messy and disheveled, he stared at her intently. His face was unshaven, revealing a stubble growth of a day or two. Instead of taking away from his looks, however, it only emphasized his handsomeness more.  

Her heart started pounding in her chest, both from the anger that flooded through her veins and the knowledge that his hold upon her was still so potent. “How did you get in here?” she asked, keeping her voice steady so he couldn’t sense how much his presence unnerved her.

“I climbed up the tree and through the window.”

As if violating her privacy was a daily occurrence for him.

“You’re so very determined to ruin me, aren’t you?”

“I was careful. No one saw me.”

“Well, that makes it alright then.”

“I didn’t take you as the sarcastic sort, Pen.”

“Add it to the growing list of things you don’t know about me.”

He didn’t respond, his eyes locked with hers.

The silence between them grew more tense by the second while they held still, as if a single movement could ignite a fire that would burn them both.

And then he stood up. “Do you know why I’m here, Pen?”

There was a button missing from his waistcoat, dirt on his breeches, and he had never looked more beautiful than he did at that moment. Her heart flipflopped in her chest. “I don’t care. I simply want you to leave.”

A bitter smile shadowed his lips. “Because it’s that easy for you, isn’t it? You’ve moved on already.”

“Yes.” The strength in her voice surprised even her when all she felt was anxiety twisting up her insides. “It’s time you do the same.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? That I’ve been trying?” Anger laced his words, hurt etched onto his face. “You don’t want to have anything to do with me yet I can’t imagine a single moment of my life without you. Why is that, Pen?”

With a slow and deliberate gait, he swaggered forward.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Your voice, your smile, your taunts...” He tapped the side of his temple erratically, eyes heavy with emotion. “Always in my fucking mind, refusing to give me even one moment of peace. You’ve been torturing me!"

With every step that drew him closer, waves of madness surged through her body. She didn’t want to feel like this, like her mind and body were completely out of her control.

“Why is this happening to me, Pen?” His voice cracked. “Why do I feel this way?” He clutched his heart, his long, lean fingers rubbing the spot over his waistcoat repeatedly. “It didn’t used to be like this, I was fine before! But now I think about you leaving me and it’s like I can’t breathe. Like a part of me will be lost forever.”

Her eyes softened. The man standing in front of her wasn’t the one who broke her heart. In his place was her dear friend, the boy she had known her entire life and loved for as long, and he was pleading for her help. “That empty feeling will go away, Colin. I promise.” She took a furtive step toward him. “You’ve only just returned, your life probably feels untethered with everything changing around you. But give it time, let yourself settle in, and things will be better.”

He stopped in his tracks. “Nothing will ever be the same without you.”

“It will, I promise.” She sent him a sad smile. “You will meet someone beautiful and kind, and she will be everything you ever wanted. The true love of your life. And this sadness that you feel right now will become a distant memory.”

A beat of silence followed as he contemplated her words.

Would the agonizing pain that coursed through her at the thought of him with another woman ever lessen? She didn’t know. Maybe with time and distance she would be free of this curse, but for now he was still very much embedded in her soul and the eventual reality of him falling in love made her want to retch.

“Is that what you think will happen for you, Pen? You’ll marry this Arthur and make me a distant memory?”

There was no outward change in him yet she immediately sensed the shift within.

He cocked his eyebrow. “Do you think I will let that happen?”

She stared at him defiantly as he approached her. “You have no say in my life.”

“But I do, Pen.” The glint in his gaze sharpened, making his blue eyes appear even darker. “Because it’s me you’re in love with. It’s me you swore never to forsake.” He came to a stop in front of her, forcing her to look up at him. “I intend to hold you to that.”

Her anger returned. “And I intend to fight you. Because I will not sacrifice my future to appease your selfishness.”

“I know,” he sighed, regret looming over his face. “I should never have asked you to do that. But that’s why I’m here, Pen. I want to make things right between us.”

Her demand to know how died on her lips as soon as he retrieved something out of the pocket of his waistcoat. Stunned, she stood frozen as he held out an emerald ring, one she recognized right away from having seen Lady Violet wear it occasionally. 

“My father gifted this to my mother on their tenth anniversary.” There was reverence in his voice as he spoke. “I think he chose it especially for the colour. It’s remarkable, isn’t it?”

She swallowed, nodding. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

“This has always been my favourite of mother’s jewelry. I knew one day I would gift it to my wife.”

Her mind went blank.

“And maybe now is that time.” He bent down on one knee in front of her, holding up the ring. “Will you marry me, Penelope Featherington?”

Time stopped.

For so long all she wanted was to be Colin’s wife. In her mind marrying him meant she would finally be happy and fulfilled. He would be the perfect husband, and she would be a member of the happy and loving Bridgerton family at last. All her dreams would finally be realized.

Except she wasn’t happy or even excited. The man she loved was on his knees, proposing to her, and all she could think about was how wrong it all felt. The proposal didn’t come from a place of love. No. Instead it was borne out of fear and a stubborn refusal to grow up. A last resort so he didn’t have to face losing their friendship.

Then there was Arthur. With him she didn’t have to hide, she could be who she truly was and not have to apologize for it. And she could continue to write, whether that be as Lady Whistledown, someone new or even herself, and do so without shame or regret.

Colin may have been her lifelong dream but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have new ones. And with Arthur, the life she wanted was within her grasp. A true possibility rather than simple fantasy.

Immediately she felt a sense of peace, knowing she was doing the right thing for herself.  “I’ve already said this to you before. I’m betrothed to another.”

In one fluid motion he slid the ring back into his pocket before rising to his full height. He had always towered over her but that had never intimidated her before. For the first time she felt a small twinge of fear percolating in her stomach, realizing the stark darkness on his face was also new.

He was quiet, too quiet, stalking her every move with his eyes, slowly pushing forward. A predator enjoying the rituals of the hunt, preparing his prey for the kill. Instinctively she retreated, moving back until the door lodged against her spine. He continued to move in, slowly but ferociously, invading every inch of her space until he was standing directly in front of her. She craned her neck to meet his stare, refusing to bow down.

“Is that a no, Penelope?”

She couldn’t think with him so close but she held strong. "Yes."

“Even though you’re in love with me and not fucking Arthur.” 

Maybe he thought throwing her love back in her face would embarrass her into submission but it had the opposite effect. Infuriated, she stood on her tiptoes to glare up at him. "So what? You think you can use my feelings to manipulate me?" She shook her head no. "I have dreams that matter to me far more than my love for you. And I will not jeopardize my chance to achieve them just for scraps of your attention."

Her words were meant to provoke his temper so he would withdraw. Instead his eyes softened as he hunched lower to look at her, his gaze roaming languidly over her face, a gentleness to them that made her insides dance with anticipation. She trembled when his hands cupped her cheeks while he studied every inch of her features, as if marking her in his memory. And then his thumb gently brushed over her pout, his dark blue eyes following the tremor of her lips, and all she could do was breathe slowly, tentatively, her heart drumming in her chest.

“I used to think you were the sweetest person I knew. Always so kind and agreeable,” he murmured, more to himself than her. “And easily forgotten.”

It hurt. Even though she had always known that that’s how people viewed her, if they bothered to see her at all - but to have him admit it was a different kind of pain. “Then forget me. Leave.”

He didn’t move, his gaze concentrated on her lips, thumb stroking left to right, right to left. “And now I can’t get this impertinent mouth of yours out of my head.”

It came as a shock when she realized Colin was hard, his erection pressed against her body. "You're aroused."

He met her eyes. “I’m aware.”

She swallowed audibly. “Why?”

Irritation surged through him. “You’re here, dressed in a robe with your beautiful hair down, talking to me, arguing with me, breathing around me, and you ask me why I’m aroused?” His hands slid down her body until they were at her waist, fingers curving into her sides as he pressed her tightly against him.

A faint gasp escaped her lips feeling his hardness.

“I want you, Pen,” was his raw, throaty plea. “I can’t stop.”

“Show me.” Her voice was firm, determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

To be contined...

A/N - Thank you for the support on this fic. Hope you're still enjoying it!

#polin #colin x penelope #penelope x colin #bridgerton #my fics

[thestrangestthing89]

I feel like Mike and El have really been broken up since the "I dump your ass" moment in S3. Mike never tries to get back together with her or expresses that he wants to. She decides they are back together at the end of S3 without talking to him about it and he clearly isn't on board with it. It's hard to take a relationship seriously when what one person wants is completely ignored.

They spend the next several months having no contact except a few letters that were apparently emotionally detached because El didn't feel like he loved her. Even if he didn't say it, she wouldn't be upset if he had shown it. If he had shown it, she wouldn't have felt like she had to lie about her life. But he's distant so she doesn't trust him.

Mike has been done with this relationship. He calls her his girlfriend and goes through the motions but that's it. I also got the strong impression he wasn't really talking about her much. Not only because I do think he is very aware of his feelings for Will. But when we see him talking to Dustin in the beginning of S4, they are talking about their girlfriends and it's clear Dustin brought the conversation up because he's telling Mike about his morning. Mike is barely responding and goes with his usual "El's a superhero" vague bs. All while checking out the basketball team and barely listening to Dustin. He's going through the motions and being so passive about this. He is not interested in pretending with this relationship anymore. I honestly feel kind of bad for him. He felt like he was supposed to be with her in the first place but then they breakup and she decides they are getting back together. It forces him into a position where he looks like the bad guy for not taking care of her or giving her what she wants. But it's really just that no one asked him what he wanted.

This whole relationship from the start was ridiculous but it's even harder to take it seriously post S3. It barely qualified as anything. They weren't even really talking. It's just for show. And it's one of the many reasons I think Mike was planning on breaking up with her when he gets to Lenora. Nothing about his behavior suggests he was interested in this relationship or invested in it. The flowers, the fake behavior - it's all superficial. He puts no effort into this at all. I have a hard time believing that he wasn't going to end things. If he actually liked this relationship he would be acting very differently.

It also stuck out to me that when he first arrives he asks if her friends are meeting them. If he wanted to hang out with her this was a weird thing to say. He hasn't seen her in months but the first thing he wants to do is hang out in a group and not with her. I think he was hoping she would go off with her friends and he would get to spend time with Will. Between that and the fact that he took note of everything Will was doing all day. He's so hyper-aware of him. They've been best friends since they were 5 and for the first time in their lives they spent months apart. I don't doubt for a second Mike went to Lenora for him.

I think this also accounts for a lot of their distance. Obviously some of that was that they were scared about their feelings. But they have seen each other practically every day of their lives and suddenly went from that to being forced to communicate in a very different way than they were used to. They want to talk to each other face to face. We see that this is what they are best at. Their relationship is better when they are together. Mike and El's is a mess no matter what. They can't communicate in any way.

#byler #gay mike wheeler #anti mileven

[aemiron-main]

Henward, Vaginal Imagery, Brenner's Surgeries and Tearing

Okay so, regarding James’ post here, I just realized something. Look at the scene where El sends Henward to superhell:

She literally tears right through him from the bottom/center up. And in his wake is the vaginal imagery that we see with the gates all the time, and that even the GA has picked up on. She basically tore a vagina through him. And right before this, we got the scenes of El’s birth that don’t align with other scenes of her birth.

And when that birth scene plays, look at what we get- that looks VERY similar to the gash/vaginal imagery associated with Henward and gates:

I think Henward absolutely got Eddie Glunskin’d and did not have a choice in the matter. Rather than transfem vibes, I’m totally getting “gender weirdness/cis guy who was forcibly operated on/guy who doesnt have a dick now” vibes. The vaginal imagery, especially with Henward, is always tied to force and pain and a lack of consent, and not to a longing to swap genders.

And this is also supported by the other gate/vaginal imagery scenes- when gates are opened, always by force. It’s always tearing/ripping/destruction. Look at the scenes from the end of S1 and beginning of S2:

The demogorgon rips through the wall and creates a tear via force. El widens the tear via force and then rips her way through it.

And look at the S3 gate opening- again, it’s by force. Force from Russian lab equipment- lab equipment creating a tear like that…

And look at the mothergate opening/mothergatae in general- again, it's torn open by force, and it happens in the lab:

And it parallels Henward being sent to the yellow UD- it's a gate opened by El, in the lab, and the cracks in the wall parallel eachother too, in addition to the gates paralleling of course:

So, we've got imagery associated with motherhood/mothergate that's tied/paralleled to Henward's body being torn through in the lab, where surgeries on Henward would have occurred.

And the mothergate gets this phallic imagery with the shadow coming out of it too- it’s definitely giving intersex vibes (and staring at the phallic imagery being forced back in and vaginoplasty surgeries and things being turned inside out/put in):

And look at Jason’s death- a guy, who is REPEATEDLY paralleled to Henward, is yet again ripped in half by vaginal imagery:

Jason’s death also occurred in the attic of the Creel house- the one place that represents Henward the most is being torn in half by vaginal imagery. And look at what exact part of the attic the gate starts tearing at- the part exactly where Henward was:

(these two shots are one after another as the camera pans down, just showing that the tear does open in that EXACT spot where vecna was):

And going back to Jason, Jason’s arms are also pinned down in a way that’s eerily similar to a.) Henward when being sent to superhell/being torn through, b.) Will during his S2 cabin “exorcism” and c.) the demodog that’s strapped to the table in the Russian lab, which parallels Henward, which I talked about here.

And that gash on the strapped down demodog is a very similar shape to the gash that rips through Henward (staring at Henward strapped down to an operating table much like the demodog):

And not only does it tear through the attic, but it also tears through Eddie’s house- Eddie, who serves to deliver subtext about Edward Creel. Edward Creel, who very much seems to have been operated on by Brenner:

Hell, look at the ST pilot and “the tear”- again, we get that ripping and tearing imagery:

And I have to say it- the spirals in Vecna’s mind lair?

Phallic shaped. His mind lair is full of his broken home and phallic imagery. Full of things he lost.

And we also don't know what Henward's sad but also angry memory is- but we DO know that both times it's brought up (when he first mentions it to her when playing plinko and when El remembers that scene when fighting him), it's tied to the concept of El's mother and to birth imagery. I'm wondering if Henward's sad but also angry memory is tied to castration/forced surgery and thereby later tied to the mother imagery/El's birth.

TLDR: my current verdict is Henward/Vecna being a guy in terms of gender/a cis gay guy prior to the lab and is still a gay guy but technically intersex by force as a result of Brenner & has somewhat embraced it (“i’m so glad you were born”)/is using it as part of his weird UD stuff..

#stranger things #henward mother weirdness #edward creel #mothergate

[w4yn31ngm00n]

ok ykw im making this a separate post cuz putting it in the reblogs aint gonna do much, but this is a continuation of the post i made earlier abt laurance lolll

in my belief, laurance did NOT leave out of sheer pettiness and jealousy !! yes it couldve very well been a part of it [because honestly who wouldn't be pissed ?] but it was not the entire reason. laurance left in an attempt to protect aph, he left for not only his own salvation, but for her safety. previous to leaving, laurance had been struggling with his shadow knight form for a WHILE, it was a constant battle that he was losing. a lot of his anger likely came from that issue, because late-mcd s2 laurance acted WILDLY different from how he acted beforehand. laurance left because he knew that he could not control himself, because his first duty as a guard is to protect his lord, even if it means laying down his life and sacrificing himself. laurance gladly would have laid down his life and even gone through his experience in the nether AGAIN if it meant protecting aph [seen several times throughout the series, including in scaleswind when he's grateful to aaron for knocking him out before he could hurt aph while corrupted and even in void paradox when him and VP aph are trying to find modzilla in the other dimension]. even though it very much so would have hurt him to leave aph, he would have done what he could to keep her safe. like i said before, he still cares about her in mcd s3. it's not like he was so pissed that he left and decided to abandon his duties. in reality, he was FOLLOWING said duties by protecting her from himself. when laurance left the settlement after finding out aph was pregnant, he knew it was his time to go before he ended up hurting someone [which he literally made a promise to aph about]. this is probably a stretch, but that part where he tears up the grass in front of aph's house after hearing her announcement felt more like a "i need to release emotion and leave before i turn and do something i regret" than an expression of just anger. whether it was as a result of his proximity to the nether portal or not, laurance is in his form by the time he leaves for good. this could be interpreted, as i said, as a result of his proximity to the portal, OR as a result of his spiraling emotions. like at the wedding, laurance's form has been seen to be brought on by emotional overload [he also directly stated this when explaining corruption to aph], so it is not out of the question that the announcement could have caused him to spiral. anyways, laurance is constantly afraid of hurting aphmau, it is one of his biggest [if not his greatest] fear. he would rather never see her again than risk her death at his hands [WHICH HE LITERALLY HAD A BREAKDOWN OVER IN VP BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE FAILED HER AFTER SHE WAS HURT BY HIS OTHER ALT SELF] or of someone else [shad lol]. ALSO he explicitly states that he doesn't want her to end up in a realm where the shadow lord could hurt her and where he could not reach her. by leaving for the nether, he is, in a way, making an attempt to hold shad at bay. he still likely holds that fear of him reaching her WHICH HE ACTS ON IN S3 !! laurance is living what garroth did AGAIN [first was him being trapped and turned into a shadow knight, second was him being stuck in the other dimension in VP (even though we never got any sort of closure on that)], each was in another dimension fighting what could be considered their greatest enemies in an attempt to protect their lord, that being garroth fighting zane, and laurance fighting not only the shadow lord, and his VP alt self, but HIMSELF. laurance zvahl would NEVER risk his lady's life if he knew he could prevent it. he admitted to aph that he felt inferior to garroth in terms of being a guard ["but after garroth, what good am i ?"], even though he just wants to keep those he loves safe. vylad said that giving in to being a shadow knight is to stop caring, to let go, to no longer feel pain and be no longer binded by emotional connections. it would feel good. [1/2, the rest will be a reblog]

#aphmau #aphmau mcd #aphmau laurance #laurance zvahl #minecraft diaries laurance #mcd laurance #aphblr #mcd #mcd aphmau #minecraft diaries #laurmau

[knockoffmordred]

Just finished GA-EX-8, thankfully my roster has improved so I was able to no thoughts head empty my way through it.

I know there have been scenes where Mon3tr is fighting, from Walk in the Dust to Under Tides. Call me stupid, but it took me seeing the big guy burning while S3 is on to realize how fucking horrifying it would be to be one of the poor bastards that has to face Mon3tr.

Like imagine, you're just a grunt, maybe a mercenary. Your unit's orders are to kill this green haired feline, called Kal'tsit. Seems harmless, especially with the amount of manpower and firepower your boss/client has brought along for this assignment.

You've set up on a elevated position, binoculars and comms unit at the ready, crossbow not that far from you. Your job is to spot her and to start the ambush...with a massive IED.

Again, you found the amount of firepower brought along this mission very weird. Yes, during the briefing it was said that there were reports of her having a bodyguard, apparently this bodyguard was deadly, but surely not deadly enough to start planning like you were going to hit a Blacksteel convoy. What's one guard to all this firepower?

As you were thinking about this, you see movement in the distance, you look through your binoculars. You see the target and report it immediately. Your commander tells everyone to get ready, and in that one short statement, you hear the anxiety in his voice, for some reason it infects you, your gut is telling you now to run. You try, unsuccessfully, to push down your own anxiety as she approaches the ambush point. The target appears to be your complete opposite right now, confident, guarded but relaxed, her gaze constantly scanning her surroundings.

Wait, she stopped moving. You report this quickly before looking through your binoculars again. You freeze.

She's stopped scanning as well. She's only looking at one spot.

Yours.

You panic and reach for the detonator. As you wrap your hands around the clacker, one thought crosses your mind.

"Where's the bodyguard?"

You dismiss it the moment you heard the clacker's clicks.

The next thing you hear is a deafening explosion, going through even your ear protection, making your ears ring. As you look at the massive cloud of dust, you start looking at the carnage. Debris is still raining down, seems like there's a massive crater where that IED was, and...

How is she still alive?

This question is immediately answered by seeing that...thing behind her? Or is it in front of her? Surrounding her?

It looks like a collection of crystals floating, forming a beast-like form, it looked like it was shielding her. That thing doesn't even look like it was damaged by the blast, that thing took a hit that would have brought down anything short of landships.

The blood in your body froze when you hear it make noise. A roar unlike anything a normal animal can make. The next thing you heard was everyone else opening fire.

Not only did the firepower make sense now, but it also looks like it's not enough firepower. Explosives did nothing to that monster's body, ballistae bolts are deflected, everything else did even less to it. The same cannot be said for the soldiers close enough to it. They were shredded by that thing's claws.

The screams and that thing's roar will haunt you forever. You did your best to hide at your spot, hoping beyond hope that they forget that you were here. Some fool decided to sacrifice himself by carrying incendiaries up to it and detonating all of it at the same time, it did nothing. It became quiet, nothing but the crackle of flames left. You dared to take a peek.

It was monstrous, demonic. A creature made out of crystal, surrounded by flame, eyes bright green like its master's but glowing, predatory, cold, focused. Focused on you. Surrounding it were flames, likely from the incendiaries but might as well be a manifestation of its hatred, or its evil.

#arknights #this was just supposed to be an “imagine this” kind of thing but I went overboard with the writing #fucking writing ghosts possessing my hands

[wonderpommey]

So here are my predictions that no one asked for about the end for Roman! Locked up in a cage, forever unable to confront anyone, let alone himself? Symbolic death in a murder suicide of doom or standing up for someone he loves?

Every season so far has pitted Logan v. Gerri/Sibs for dominance over his heart, it was crazy to imagine that this season, despite Logan’s death, would be any different, it just magnified both sides.

Roman’s arc this season is his desire, born out of misplaced guilt, to be everything he thought Logan wanted him to be in 4x02, but arguably since forever (See my S3 posts); a ruthless alpha toxic fuck who ‘kills’ women, starting with the one he loves.

But that’s just Roman’s paranoid interpretation of Logan’s wishes. It’s what you do when you can only project what you think dad wants and you think it’s most certainly the worst-case scenario, the one that hurts you the most. Logan as God directing Abraham to kill his beloved son Isaac. But preventing it at the last moment, because if God lets you kill that which you love, he’s just another monster. In lieu of an angel, Logan sends Tom (How many times has Roman asked if they should kill Tom this season btw), asking if it’s done already.

Is that what Logan truly wanted? Logan is disgusted by the idea that his son wants an older woman, respecting her competence above his nepo birth right, but he doesn’t really want Roman to fire Gerri to prove something to him. What he wants is for Roman to be able to turn away from ‘love’ and loyalty, if the business requires it. In fact, the pure distraught manic emotion Roman is unleashing, trying to be something he’s not, is the opposite of what Logan wanted.

What I hadn’t necassarily anticipated was that in doing so, Roman doesn’t just deny his true longings, he creates actual hurt and pain for the people he loves and the wider world. As Gerri turns away (and puts her shoes back on, covering the Achilles heel he was for her) as his sibs strike out on their own, his hurt - which he can’t acknowledge as his needs and wants are what he’s always been punished for, they can’t be expressed - grow and create anger. Which he misdirects at everyone but the one person who deserves it, Logan. Roman has only allowed himself one outburst of anger at Logan and has lived to regret it ever since.

The show has always been a blistering indictment of patriarchy and capitalism as it pertains to the essential human need for love (RIP reddit bros who thought this was fictional apprentice). The poison drips through… Repressed longing for love, connection, affection, trust & loyalty creates hurt, which creates anger, which creates evil. And men become so hurt by women’s rejection of them (which they do for their own survival!), that they start hating them.

And symbolically, we’ve had Roman as this murderous messenger to Gerri, but he actually ended up killing his dad, then murdering Gerri again only to pull out the blade because he’s him and he couldn’t actually do that. Then she grabbed his bloody hand and sank the knife back into her heart and brought her red painted nails to his throat (see this is how it’s done Roman, that’s how you kill. Here’s your last chance to learn and survive). As he loses what he intrinsically wants, he discovers that nothing matters and he sets the actual world on fire. If he wants to die now because the cognitive dissonance is too great, there’s no way he won’t want to die by Gerri’s hand, no way he won’t want her eyes on him as his humanity, his last hope for love, leaves his body…

Can Roman break the cycle of anger, serve Gerri’s (or even another woman’s) interest, identify and say something he feels, leave Waystar? I doubt the show will want to say anything so hopeful and will instead focus on Shiv’s pregnancy; minuscule hope, and very likely doomed repetition of the cycle.

And just your friendly reminder that Kieran and Jesse and Mark walked away for 20mn as Kieran had totally misread the meaning behind Roman’s last scene and that Kieran spins his own fanfic about how Roman ends up… so good luck!

#succession hbo #roman roy #gerrikellman #gerri x roman #my predictions #watch Jesse pulling out the rug and having him ask her out on a date #or her giving him a hug #lol #it could literally save the world #I can't with people saying the writers are mysoginists #this is the most feminist piece of work out there!

[findafight]

THANK YOU for the scoops troop post starcourt fic bc it’s been driving me CRAZY that the whole tortured by Russian MILITARY as teenagers was never brought up again!? Especially with Steve - like I don’t know how my guy handles physical touch and affection after all he’s been through physically and emotionally and he’s written off as a haha character most of the time but there’s SO much there with trauma, especially since the only other person with an inkling of what happened with the Russians is Robin

Ahhh yeah continuing this fic is definitely on the list. sorry this gets a little rambling and idk if it makes sense. Because obviously Steve and Robin don't outright tell Dustin and Erica what happened but they're smart kids and sort figured there was some light torture happening. And when you're running on adrenaline a lot of stuff doesn't register right away, so they have to have a chat about that and guilt for 'letting' it happen.

And like, they could have mentioned it when everyone regrouped in the food court but by that point Robin and Steve were crashing from Russian drugs and I can only assume they thought it was pretty obvious where they'd been what with Erica telling Murray how to actually get in. But then it's over and Hopper is dead and so is billy so it's not even the biggest deal that they were tortured and Robin definitely thought Steve was dead for a bit. They can deal with it together.

With Steve it's like "haha Steve is slow on the uptake and doesn't understand a lot and isn't very smart and asks a lot of dumb questions" and never "steve has had two severe concussions within a year of each other and he still graduated highschool on time only to be concussed AGAIN" my poor beloved blorbo please someone let him rest. And I desperately want one of the actual adult members of the upside down crew to realize that he's just sort of. Dealt with it by himself or with Robin, that he doesn't have the same support network as the party or Joyce and Hop or Nancy and Jonathan (who both have siblings that understand, Jon with his mom as well). And yeah he has Robin after S3, and Dustin is basically his brother, but it's different, because the only one who he'd remotely be absolutely honest with is Robin, who also only has him, and actually it's a miracle they're functional at all.

And I want Steve to be confused why the Grown Ups are mad (worried?) That he didn't tell them he and Robin were actually literally tortured because they all had better things to do, they had no obligations to Steve. He and Robin had each other, and he and Robin supported Dustin and Erica, and they're all fine now. The first few months were rough, sure, but now it's okay.

Plus the fact that the Byers were moving leaving Steve as the oldest person besides Murray who didn't live in Hawkins who knew about the upsidedown. He was the one that was supposed to be in charge and responsible, because no one else should have to do that when they're all trying to move on, so what good would telling Joyce, who would be far from Hawkins and its horrors, about how he could barely wear his watch sometime because it reminded him of being tied back to back with Robin. She couldn't do anything about it and she didn't get it the way Robin would.

So he and Robin have sleep overs and long talks so they're semi functional and can help Erica and Dustin work through it too. They deal with it together, because none of their parents know and Steve is accustomed to adults being unreliable even without world ending secrets involved. And there aren't any grown ups around anyways so. He's the grown up of the group and it's his job to make sure all the kids are okay.

I think out of anyone outside of Scoops Troop, Lucas probably knows the most because Erica is his sister and now she knows he gets her to talk about it. She's reluctant at first because he wasn't there, but does, because Lucas is her big brother and he is there for her. And while he and Steve were friends after Billy in S2 and Steve's protective streak, Lucas gets really close to Steve with Erica, because they're both clingy to each other and Steve, for all he's basically a bag of nervously shaking chihuahuas with hairspray and ibuprofen keeping him from breaking down at any given moment he isn't holding Robin's hand, seems like a stable force in their lives.

#steve Harrington #scoops troop #stranger things #finda writes stuff #anonasaurus #findaanswers

[jennycalendar]

coming back with some more thoughts on ted lasso --

i did not like how they handled sam. i think it's a mark of progress and how far things have come but at the same time a spotlight on the new problems created by underlying racism/racial anxiety, even within the most loving narrative.

sam's storyline was all over the place! there is definitely a through-line, but none of the things he faces are about him Growing and Learning, really, because he is Already Perfect And Good. his narrative purpose is to serve as an example of how a good dad can positively impact you going forward, which is great, but they will just throw random shit at him like the stuff w/ edwin akufo and then just never fully resolve it! i think it's so so clear that they were making an effort to research and represent nigerian culture, which is wonderful in and of itself, but there is this really sticky issue with race within ted lasso that keeps showing up and i do not like it.

edwin akufo is a one-note character who shows up, torments sam, and then disappears from the narrative after he is bested by rebecca, without ANY explanation as to how this besting impacts his stuff with sam. are we to assume that, because his plans for a football league fell through, he's backed off re: sam? his frankly obscene amount of wealth which the narrative CONSTANTLY alludes to is very clearly more than enough for him to torment sam until the end of time, and he very clearly expresses a desire to do this -- yet the finale shows sam ostensibly a part of the nigerian team, with no bumps or hiccups! edwin akufo is never brought up again!

and also like, shandy? why was she necessary? we have only had two women of color in semi-regular roles and one of them is presented as an impulsive, unkind, selfish nightmare. it really fucking sucked to see that, and it feels weird that ted lasso's line of defense against negative portrayals of women of color is having one Really Really Good One and one Really Incredibly Bad One. there was no need for shandy to be a woman of color if her entire point was to Be Terrible and Then Leave. she was a wholly unnecessary character to begin with & to make her a woc is just icing on top of the cake.

BUT I DIGRESS. i'm bugged the most by sam because, outside of nate, he is the nonwhite character who gets the most screen time! (and the fandom racism towards nate TURNS MY STOMACH, but that is not actually an issue that exists within the text of the show itself, so i'll leave that alone!) i think there was definitely an understanding within the writers' room that portraying a dark-skinned black man as sensitive, soft, and emotionally intelligent was a deeply important move for representation, but they just did not go that extra mile and actually create a consistent storyline for sam. he could have absolutely been that gentle, perfect guy without throwing in That Cartoon Villain Ghanaian Billionaire who shows up to yell at him and be terrible and ruin his life (and then, after one angsty episode in s3, disappear without explanation, clearing the way for sam to do whatever he wants).

it kinda reminds me of colin -- that finale bugged me re: him too a little! certainly it was utterly wonderful to see him kiss his fella at the end of the game, but the way we left things with him was very clearly "the team knows, and that's enough for me." this guy has been closeted for the entire time he's been a football player. telling the team was already so much more than he ever planned to do. kissing his boyfriend in public in the middle of the pitch, where any number of cameras would likely have picked up on them both??? PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE THAT. i found that one really hard to swallow as well.

it just bugs me because there is absolutely this understanding of systemic oppression that hovers around the edges of ted lasso, but then they will do things like everything that they did with sam! an awareness that There Is A Problem, but no time spent on the solution. and i totally understand that, tonally speaking, systemic oppression is not ted lasso's focus -- but this season they went out of their way to Make It Their Focus! & yet we get this absolutely bizarre storyline for sam where they just don't tell us what happened or why akufo backed down or ANYTHING. despite multiple hour-long episodes this season. don't like it.

#ted lasso spoilers #let's hope this one goes over ok!!!! #i did my best to form my thoughts in a way that makes sense #and i do know how immediately vitriolic ppl get when race/racism in fandom is talked about. #(glances pointedly at a certain subsection of the spike fans.) #but idk man this was the part of the finale i had a lot of trouble with.... #and i am worried that fandom at large is gonna b complaining big time about how the ball was dropped with t/r #when imo there was A LOT of stuff about that finale that dropped the ball. #A LOT.

[urdearestmom]

so happy to see you back here because the takes on mike ever since the season (by bylers, locals and even people who claimed to love him but are now mad and not even trying to understand him) are driving me crazy. he needs protecting

I am tumblr’s Mike Wheeler defence squad

No but actually I think the problem is so many people just consume media without thinking critically about it (which like, it’s FINE to just watch things for fun, but if you’re going to pass judgement on something then perhaps you should spend more than 2 seconds thinking on it. maybe analyze the scene past your first reaction to it).

I'm going to talk mainly about Mike's interactions with Will and El in the early episodes of season 4 but there will also be references to earlier seasons.

Now, Mike's not an angel by any means!! The boy makes mistakes. He WAS dismissive and kinda rude to Will (also everyone forgot it was Will's birthday?? including me LOL) but it's not like he was behaving that way with the intent to hurt Will. Mike tends to hyperfocus on El whenever he's around her (which we've seen since s1: drifting from Lucas, Dustin's claims that all Mike cared about was El; s2 Mike's emo phase when she wasn't around and his subsequent focus on her once she returned; s3 Mike's entire emotional arc being about his feelings for El). In the scene at the rink, El had JUST been publicly humiliated and Mike found out she had been lying to him about her life and emotional state, so of course he was more concerned for her and focused on finding her than he was with listening to Will. Duh, anyone would be.

That hyperfocus is a completely natural thing that happens when you have strong feelings for someone; you tend to drop your friends a bit. The goal is to find a balance between the attention you give your friends vs the other person, but it's a learning process. Also Mike is at the maximum only 15 years old and this is his first relationship, so he is very much still in the early stages of figuring all that out. The important thing is that when you realize you hurt someone you apologize, which Mike did and Will forgave. I loved that scene a lot because I really really appreciate their friendship and the fact that they were both even tearing up a little bit really moved me :') It's also a development for Mike because he brought up the situation himself and apologized without anything else prompting it, which has been a difficulty for him in the past (remember him refusing to apologize to Lucas in s1? or the fact that we never saw him apologize to Max after s2 either). It takes emotional vulnerability to recognize that you were wrong and apologize to someone for hurting them, and he is a character that struggles profoundly with putting his feelings out there, so this is a win for him!!

The thing about his vulnerability leads me to my next point: the fight with El. El was completely valid in wanting to hear Mike say that he loves her, I think definitely in part due to her terrible upbringing and some in part to media she'd been exposed to since escaping the lab. Before she got out she was clearly in an abusive environment, where likely the only form of affection she received was words (Brenner's actions were obviously not those of someone who cared for her, but his choice of words and tone of voice helped him manipulate her), which would have some effect on the way she expresses herself and the way she accepts affection from others. During her time in isolation, we saw her watching soaps and those are the kind of stories where love is presented as this grand, sweeping thing that can only be demonstrated and affirmed through an extremely dramatic declaration. That's not a thing that usually happens irl, it's part of the entertainment factor, but El wouldn't know any better and she probably came to expect something similar.

Mike, on the other hand, is a person who struggles to verbalize any of his feelings, much less something as all-consuming as his love for El is. Some of that is simply part of his personality, but some of it is also home influence. It's obvious by now that the Wheelers don't have a great marriage, so Mike has more than likely not often or ever heard his parents say that they love each other (interestingly, I don't think Nancy has told Jonathan to his face that she loves him either). Mike has learned to express his love for people in a different way: through his actions. He is usually the first to jump into action/planning mode when a friend is in danger, he takes care of people who need help (El in s1 and Will in s2, and the way he comforts El at various points during s3 even while they were broken up), and consistently acts recklessly when it comes to someone offending or endangering his loved ones (aka, the cliff scene, or him attacking a possessed Billy armed with a skinny piece of metal, among others) because he feels as though he is their defender and keeping them safe is how he shows that he cares. Let us also not forget the fact that he handpicked those wildflowers in El's favourite colours because he knew they would make her happy (he also dressed in the same colours, which I LOVE even though his airport outfit makes him look like a muppet).

At the moment that they had their argument, El had been experiencing a lot of changes. Not only did she lose her powers, the thing that defined her as a person for almost her whole life, she also moved across the country, away from almost everyone who cared about her, and started school. Being bullied in general is difficult enough, but being bullied when you know you really are different and there's nothing you can do about it must be hell. The loss of her powers caused her to question her own self-worth because without them, who is she really? That's something that El is still in the process of discovering. Being the victim of bullying at the same time has reinforced this idea she has that her powers are what give her worth. With them she can defend herself, intimidate her enemies; without them she is a target. She must feel that people only liked her before because they thought her abilities were cool. This thought, plus the emotional toll that bullying causes, plus the fact that she only ever overheard Mike say that he loves her and it was while she still had her powers, and the fact that he hasn't said it in words since then has probably made her extremely insecure about whether his feelings for her are from a genuine place of love, like hers are for him.

Because El is struggling, and because Mike hasn't yet worked up the courage to vocalize his feelings, they fight. El is upset because she has probably started to doubt whether her boyfriend, who she cares about immensely, genuinely loves her or not. Mike is upset because he loves her so intensely and he tells her that in the way he knows how but she isn't receiving the message, and he doesn't know how to fix it. It's an unfortunate situation all around but I thought that it was a very realistic problem to present Mileven with and I absolutely adored how many layers there are to what's happening. Millie and Finn's performances were also spot on! The way you can see Millie's anger through her sadness and the absolute sincerity in Finn's whole person (his face, voice, even the little extra movements he does while speaking) really lend the emotions to the scene and make it feel real.

Anyone who says "El deserves better" is delusional or just hasn't considered how wonderful Mike actually is. How could she do any better than the boy who has cared for her unconditionally since the moment he met her? I mean, he put himself in danger to protect her and she's literally killed multiple people in front of him and he didn't bat an eye. All he wanted was to know that she was safe.

Anyone who says Mike doesn't love El: see the above. I don't know what show you're watching

ALL OF THIS TO SAY: I love Mike Wheeler because he is a flawed character. He's not perfect! He makes mistakes! But guess what, we all do. It's part of growing up and part of being human, so all it does is make him feel more like a real person to me. He's a lovely lil boy and I will defend him to my last breath, tumblr!!!!!!!

(i know this got really mf long but i will probably be active for a bit so send me more asks friends!!)

#PHEW #this legitimately took me like an hour to answer #also i switched tenses in there a couple times please ignore this is not an essay #i love mike wheeler #stranger things 4 #mike wheeler #mileven #el hopper #anon ask #answered

[angelsdean]

What bothers me with DeanLisa is that Sam pushes Dean toward Lisa because of something Dean fantasizes about... 40 years earlier. Before the Apocalypse, before knowing angels and God exist, before being tortured 30 years in Hell (and spending 10 years torturing)... Sam, being oblivious, doesn't take any of that into account. Dean has changed too much since he dreamt about this for their relationship to work (I think DeanLisa could have worked if they were both in the same mindstate than s3 but)

yea there are a lot of reasons why deanlisa was never going to really work out in that context. i think if circumstances had been different then maybe. but i just have a lot of issues with deanlisa, they're not my fave and i can't get over how plot device-y they are, but that's an issue with the writing and i don't actually hate lisa as a character or anything. i know a lot of multishippers like deanlisa so i don't wanna step on any toes and i think in fanon, giving them more depth than the narrative ever did helps make them more interesting and complex. but when i'm like putting my analytical hat on and looking at what the text actually does and critiquing what they actually gave us versus what they didn't give us or what they could've done it's well :/ like narratively she, and ben, are presented as this ready made family fantasy and that's about it. that's their sole "function" and lisa never gets much depth or complexity to her character and it's just very :/

i think dean has a huge heart, and i while i def question him showing up out of the blue to move in with a woman he knew collectively maybe 2 weeks out of his life, i do think dean IS the kind of person who "falls in love" a little bit with everyone he meets that treats him with genuine kindness and affection. and i think there are different degrees and shades and intensities to that "love" and it's not always the kind of One True Love definition of love. like he also only spends about 2 - 3 weeks with cassie but says she was his first love. and that love is important and meaningful but also very different from say, his love for cas which gets 12 years to grow. but neither is "better" than the other, they're just different! so like, i think he definitely cared for lisa and loved her in some way, and maybe if, like you said, circumstance had been different, they could have worked out and maybe grown to really love each other deeply. but in the circumstances they were in it always felt a little doomed. (here's a really good post about this).

as much as we can debate whether dean really loved her or not, i think dean would probs Never have sought her out if sam hadn't pushed him toward her w/ is "dying wish" of dean being a happy little suburban man. i don't think dean was thinking abt her all those yrs or holding a torch for her. and dean might've wanted that fantasy family life at one point but yea for dean those dreams were a long time ago. i think by the end of s5 dean doesn't really think that life is in the cards for him anymore.

my reading of the situation is: dean is numb with grief. dean has lost nearly everyone (bobby's still around but that's about it, and they don't seem to be in contact). dean is trying to honor his brother's "dying" wish. except sam isn't actually dead! (i forget who brought this up but i saw it recently and!!!!) sam literally isn't dead when he goes into the cage !!! he's spending eternity being tortured by the devil as far as dean knows. i think that would cause dean a great amount of stress / worry / anguish on top of his grief. i don't think dean would be able to just move on and play happy family forever. so, he's numb, depressed, going through the motions, and holding on to this one (1) thing he now has, this perfect little family. and it's what he should want !! it's what he used to dream about !! but so much has changed. and he cares about lisa, he does. she's great and she's trying to help him. and ben is a great kid and dean loves him too. but it was never going to work, not really, because dean's issues are SO huge and all encompassing at that point AND this life wasn't really his choice. it's not what he would have chosen if sam hadn't nudged him in that direction. he's there, and he's trying, but it's not enough. he's got unresolved hell trauma, unresolved grief, probably constantly thinking abt sam being tortured in hell by the devil after dean very recently spent 40 yrs !! in that place. he's also lost cas, his best friend, who in dean's eyes abandoned him for heaven. based on past and future behavior he's probably also feeling like he doesn't deserve to be alive, possibly is passively suicidal. he's got a lot going on, and of course you don't have to be perfect or have your shit together to be in a relationship, but i don't think dean was in the right place to be in a relationship or to be playing the role of suburban dad and husband. and i think that's kind of the point, i think the narrative wants us to see that friction and see the cracks in the fantasy.

#replies

[itssoinevitable]

Hiii 👋 I just wanted to say I’ve been a fan of your blog since the good ole Downton Days and I’m so chuffed you’re a ACGAS fan too! Tbf right now the fandom is super down in the dumps (me included). How are you remaining so positive since Audrey x Gerald development in the Christmas Special?

Hi Anon! Thanks for your message, and happy holidays! So nice to hear from our old Downton Abbey crew again, I think a lot of us migrated here.

To be honest, there are a few reasons I’m not worried. (Sorry, it’s long).

1) Because I honestly love Siegfried and Audrey as friends and surrogate family. Their bond is special and beautiful, whether or not it ever becomes romantic. (Although I hope it does). They are life partners, involved in all the most important parts of each other’s lives. They have coparented Tristan (and James and Jess), they’re each other’s confidant and source of comfort. That’s special in and of itself.

2) Because I actually think they’re playing the (really, really) long game with them. I could be wrong, but that seems to be what the writers are doing. It seems quite intentional. 3 years on screen together may seem a while for some, and I suppose she’s been his housekeeper for around 7 years so it feels like ages. But imo, the best slow burns imo are the ones where you’re never quite sure if they will or won’t. It’s the little crumbs they leave scattered here and there, it’s the longing looks and angsty build up that makes it so delicious tbh. I just hope they get renewed for enough seasons to see it through. (Plus I am a Carson & Mrs Hughes fan, so 3 seasons doesn’t feel that long! Lol)

3) And lastly, because I don’t actually think they’re ready to be together yet. They’re still in the process of getting there.

Siegfried has probably had to longest way to go, in terms of being emotionally ready to realise, admit and accept that he has feelings for his housekeeper. In Season 1, he opened himself up to intimacy and the possibility of love again. He did that with Dorothy and then Diana, (although who knows why she’s been such a non-entity this last season. Maybe the actress wasn’t available?) And now, at the end of S3, he literally just resolved one of his biggest character arcs - his complex relationship and feelings for Tristan (and even then, only with a lot of encouragement and support from Audrey). He’s emotionally levelled up.

Now, I think it’s Audrey’s turn. Gerald befriending her/ pursuing her has allowed her to imagine she could be with someone again, after leaving her husband. It helps her relationship with Edward is also on the mend, since that’s been a source of so much guilt and pain for her. As for her feelings toward Gerald, they do seem to have deepened somewhat suddenly. I know some people said it felt very out of blue considering she had friendzoned him. But maybe she liked him all along and simply didn’t feel she could be more than friends, much as she wanted to. Or maybe it was brought on by the war, and him moving away. Either way, I think he’s a good man, simple and uncomplicated, which is just what she needs as she’s testing the waters of romance again. I think he’s also serving as a catalyst for Siegfried to realise the depth of his feelings for Audrey, which is v exciting imo.

Siegfried is also a good man, but things with him are as ever, more complicated. Their status as employer and employee, and long time friends also raises the stakes a lot more. Considering she’s a lot more self-aware, I think Mrs Hall knows she might have certain feelings for Siegfried (seemed a bit disapproving / jealous of his relationships) but I don’t think she has considered it could go anywhere. I feel that this budding relationship with Gerald will be pivotal in a shift between them. It might motivate her to get her divorce from Mr Hall, and resolve that source of pain from her past, too.

TL;DR All that said, I think they’re getting where to need to be, and I think we should enjoy the journey. It’ll be all the more sweet if and when it happens.

#acgas meta #anon #ask #siegfried farnon #audrey hall #siegfried x audrey #acgas s3 spoilers #acgas spoilers #all creatures great and small 2020 #tq Anon for letting me ramble