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lanawinterscigarettes · 2 years

Note

Could you do some Five fluff? literally any sorta of fluff with him please

Sure! I love Five <3

Sleepy Boy (Five Hargreeves x reader)

Warnings: fluffy cuteness overload, soft sleepy Five, Five is kinda grumpy (but then again when is he not)

Five looked adorable when he was asleep, you decided one day after you'd woken up from your nap to find him curled up beside you. He looked so peaceful; it was almost hard to recognize him without the constant scowl on his face.

You smiled to yourself as you ran your fingers through his soft hair, knowing he didn't let his guard down like this for anyone except you. It felt good to be his safe space; you were the one exception to all the rules he'd made before in the past, specifically designed to keep people out.

You stopped moving as he began to shift towards you, his hands reaching out to grab ahold of your torso as he buried his face into your chest. He mumbled something in his sleep about the probability of ending the apocalypse before making a complaint about something Klaus did the other day.

You let out a small laugh while he stirred, slowly blinking his eyes as he lifted his head up.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, honey," you said, brushing his hair out of his face. "Just something you said in your sleep."

"Hm." He unconsciously leaned into your touch as you began to gently scratch at his scalp with your fingernails. "What did I say?"

"Oh, y'know. Apocalypse stuff. That, and you were complaining about Klaus and something he did."

A sour look crossed his face, causing you to laugh again.

"Idiot," Five muttered.

"Hey, that's not very nice," you gently scolded him.

"I don't care," he huffed. "It's true."

You stopped scratching his head, causing him to let out a low whine. "Five, don't be mean. I don't care whether it's true or not."

He sighed loudly. "Alright, fine. I guess I'm sorry, or whatever."

"Much better," you said, starting to play with his hair again. "See, was that really so difficult?"

"Yes," he mumbled without hesitation before letting out a yawn.

"Aw, you're only grumpy because you woke up from your nap early, aren't you?" You teased.

"No, I'm not," he pouted, reburying his face into your chest.

"I think you are," you persisted, wrapping your free arm around his waist. "Poor baby, not getting enough sleep."

"Shut up," he replied, his voice muffled from his face being pressed against you.

You giggled, kissing him on the forehead as you pulled him close. "My beautiful, sleepy boy," you whispered as you held him.

Taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @your-next-daydream

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joenotexotic99 · 11 months

Note

Hello! I just saw your Sub!Five post and I must say it's a masterpiece! Is there any possibility you can write some more? Us Doms are running on crumbs for Sub!Five lol.

A/n: I am soooo sorry this took so long love. My life as been a roller coaster these last few weeks and I have had so much writer's block. However I really do hope I have delivered some quality content <3

Five Hargreaves x F!reader

Warnings: hard-ish Dom reader sub!five, language, smut, I was partially high while writing some of this (don't do drugs,) use of handcuffs and blindfold, hand job, unprotected sex (it won't harm her to wear some armor) oral sex f! Receiving.

Summary: five didn't come home when he promised.

Word count: 1.5k

Five didn't come home on time.

Five promised you that he would be home by the time dinner was ready. Before he left earlier that day you explicitly remember him saying that's when he would get home.

And yet dinner has already been over with and done. You even cleaned up the table. Put away the leftovers, clean and washed the dishes. Putting them in the dishwasher. Cleaned and swept the kitchen. Took a shower and brushed your teeth. You put on your pajamas for the night. And now you sat on the couch re-watching an old show. Day turned night.

Still five was yet to return home. He lied. He lied to you. He could be anywhere right now, in any time period for that matter. But at this very moment he was supposed to be in your shared home. Now here you were, alone. You trust him enough to know how to handle himself and hold his own. Therefore he should know that actions have consequences.

As you stared at the TV mounted to your wall you heard the oh so familiar squeak of the front door opening followed by five setting down his briefcase and removing his shoes.

Rounding the corner into the living room he immediately saw you under the soft light of the lamp with an expression on your face that was anything but joy. It took five a solid second to realize what he had done. Before he squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

"Shit I'm sorry"

You got up off the couch before slowly making your way to him. Talking as you walked.

"You're sorry?" You scoffed

"God yes I'm so sorry. Time slipped and I didn't reali-"

"What time did you say you would get home?" You asked keeping your voice calm

"Before dinner" five said, keeping his head down

"That's right. Now you see dinner was at six thirty. And what time is it now?" You asked now infront of five

Five checked his wrist watch before continuing.

"Ten" five swallow the lump in his throat. Still staring down at his feet

"Look at me five." You said lifting up his head with your fingers "So you're admitting that you didn't do as promised?" You continued to ask

"Yes" five said quietly

"And what happens when you break the rules like this?" You already know the answer but hearing him say it is simply so so much better.

"I get punished"

"Mhhmh, so you think that you deserved to get punished?" You asked. Making sure he consented.

"Yes" he said, voice still ever so quiet

"What was that?" you said, teasing him.

"yes I do think I deserved to be punished"

"Good, now I'm going I'm going to finish this episode and you are going to walk up to the bedroom and take off every clothing item off your body. And if you're good I might let you choose what punishment you think you deserve. Sounds good to you baby boy?" You explained, walking back to the couch and getting back cozy under the blanket you had.

Five nodded before making his way to the stairs and disappearing into the bedroom.

If you 're honest you didn't pay much attention to the rest of the episode. Nonetheless you waited and waited. You even watched one more for good measure. And to your surprise you didn't hear one whine or complain from upstairs.

After a good solid forty-five minutes passed you dug for the remote to pause the show and turn off the TV. Removing the blanket and leisurely walking your way to the bedroom. You opened the door to see five in the middle of the bed leaning against the headboard.

As expected he didn't seem so pleased

"I don't think you just finished one episode"

You walk towards the closet to get out the old case file box that was now filled with things much more fun than files. You picked out a nice pair of and cuffs before pulling out a few different colors of blind folds. Before making your way to five.

"Doesn't feel nice waiting for longer than you have to does it?"

Five lower his head down before mumbling a quiet "no"

You laid the silk blindfolds down next to five before looking up

"I didn't hear a single complaint when I was downstairs. And because of that you can pick one of these blindfolds"

Five surveyed over his choices before picking up his pick and handing it to you.

"Red, perfect" you said as you kissed his head. Putting away the rest of the blindfolds.

"Now do you think that you deserved to be cuffed?" You asked, turing back to five

Five nodded and hummed before you dug your guy's favorite pair. The cuffs were thick and smooth black leather that was held by a silver chain and extended to be able to clip to the headboard.

You took his wrist and slid his hands through the cuffs before tightening it snug.

"How does that feel my sweet boy?"

"good"

You hummed in response before lifting his hands up to clip it to the small hook you have on your bed frame.

You went to straddle his lap before taking his head in your hands and laying a sweet kiss to his lips. Leaning back you took the silk cloth and tied the blindfolds across five.

"Color?" You asked

"Green" five responded

"Wonderful"

You slid off of five's lap to remove the pajamas you had put on earlier whilst you waited for five to return home. Before situating back to where you were moments earlier.

You slowly creeped your hand down five's torso. Feeling the muscles of his abdomen move under your fingertips. You continued the descent down his body until you were met with the tip of his cock.

Slowly you took a light hold of it and ran your thumb over the slit spreding the pre cum. You watched five's Adam apple bob as he swallowed. You took your time moving your hand up and down his dick. Never moving your hand fast enough to make him finish. Instead five begged you to move your hand faster. Pleases rolled off his tongue. Each time you denied. Continuing your slow agonizing pace.

Eventually your movements came to a halt. Depriving five of his already little amount of friction he was getting.

"Whycha stop?" Five said breathlessly

You didn't reply, instead you simply raised yourself up before sinking down onto his cock.

Five cried out from shock and pleasure. His hands fought against the handcuffs, wanting to touch you. Let you know that he was yours and yours only.

You weren't slow this time. You fucked him with an eager pace. Moaning out. You leaned down into fives neck. Kissing and biting. Making hickies that you knew five was going to beg later to have you cover up.

You made your way with your mouth to his ear.

"You will not come until I say you can" you whispered.

All poor five could do was whine a pathetic 'ok'

You continued your pace. Up and down. Taking your breasts into your hands. It made even better knowing how much five loved your titties. You didn’t stop till way after you finished.

You didn't stop until you could see how much five was struggling to hold back and not finish without you telling him that he could.

"You think you've learned your lesson pretty boy?" You said while slowing down your pace

"Yes yes I have. I've learned my lesson." Five said on the brink of tears

"Will it happen again?"

"No it won't, I promise. Never" five stated

You picked up your previous pace. Fast and hard. It drove five wild. It was overwhelming delicious pleasure. Nothing short of filthy satisfaction.

"You can come five" you announced

And it was over. Five spilled into you. His mouth opened with no sound coming out. You let him ride his high. Stopping when you could tell it was becoming too much.

You reached over to the bedside table to grab the key and get five out of the cuffs. Then you took off the blind fold.

It took five a second to adjust to the light before his eyes met yours. You took his wrist into your hand making sure he was alright.

"Thank you" he said out of breath.

You smiled before leaning down and giving him a peck on the lips. Then proceed to get off and lay next to where he was.

"Well you gonna clean me up?" You asked

Five chuckled before moving between your legs and diving down lapping up your arousal. The taste of both him and you on his tongue. He may have come home too late but at least his meal is delectable.

#the umbrella academy fic #the umbrella academy #five hargreaves x you #five hargreaves x reader smut #sub!five hargreaves x you #tua x reader #tua smut #the umbrella academy x reader #five hargreaves x reader #sub!five #five hargreaves smut

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frost-queen · 10 months

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Under the Sparrow's umbrella (Umbrella!Reader x Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves)

Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine

Loud footsteps made you all slowly turn. Still half confused about the sudden change in interior. Your eyes widened at the sight of him at the upper level. – “Ben!” – you exclaimed happily. The Ben at the top grabbed the railing, jumping over it as he landed firm on his feet. He slowly rose while you were gaping in awe at him. – “Ben!” – Klaus said loudly, opening his arms to go and hug him. Ben pulled his nose up, slapping his arms away. – “You are trespassing hobo.” – he commented in detest.

Klaus pressed his hand to his heart, shocked. – “You hurt my feelings Ben.” - Klaus said making Ben scoff. – “A matter of fact… you all are.” – Ben continued, tugging his hand in his pocket. – “What’s with the uniform?” – Five questioned. It was only now that you all noticed it. The change of color and emblem on his uniform. – “You wouldn’t get it schoolboy.” – Ben responded. Five clenched his jaw, ready to jump at him if Luther hadn’t held him back.

Your eyes widened seeing more people appear on the upper level. – “Need any help brother?” – a girl spoke. Ben held his hand up. – “I can handle these…” – his gaze went obviously up and down cocky over your posture. – “Children.” – he addressed glancing at Five. Five gritted his teeth as you held him back by his shoulder.

“We aren’t trespassing this is our home!” – Luther called out. – “We are the Umbrella academy.” – he said looking at his siblings to back him up. – “You are dead.” – he added pointing at Ben. Ben scoffed loud. – “Clearly I’m not!” – he said. – “And this is the Sparrow academy.” – he explained as his siblings came downstairs. – “Sparrow?” – Diego whispered out, looking at Victor. Victor shrugged his shoulders. You stepped forwards making Ben glance intrigued at what you might say.

��Maybe this is all kind of messed up. I mean we did just time-jump back here.” – you concluded. – “But that man…” – you pointed at the portrait of Reginald. – “Is our father.” – you finished. Ben chuckled, eying you up and down. – “Oh right! Time-jump well maybe father saw how useless you all are and decided he needed to adopt other children. Children who wouldn’t be so worthless.” – he pushed you back by your forehead.

You stumbled back as Diego caught you before you could trip. – “Sparrow Ben is a dick!” – you told him seeing him nod. Clearly this Ben wasn’t like the Ben you knew. The Ben you grew up with. Ben glanced over his shoulder to his siblings by his side. – “Let’s show them out.” – he smirked, expression hardening on you. – “That one’s mine.” – he grunted out. You swallowed nervously slowly backing up.

Ben moved his body as his tentacle arms shot out. You screamed loud when they lurched towards you. You quickly dove under the coffee table as a tentacle missed you. Eyes widened when the table got lifted up. Ben tilting his head murderously enjoyable at you. – “Gotcha!” – he laughed out. You shrieked moving your hands up to block his next attack. Ben smiled greedily when he forced his tentacles down to you. You gasped hard when your brother Five popped up near you, knelt down.

In a split second he had his arms around you, teleporting with you. Ben’s tentacles went down, grabbing thin air as it made him glare. You re-appeared in the hallway, gasping loud. – “Definitely not our Ben.” – you breathed out. Five held his finger up telling you to wait while he teleported again. – “Umbrella girl.” – you heard Ben call out tauntingly. – “Come out and play.” – he went on making you tense your jaw. So not your Ben.

You left your hiding place, spotting Diego throwing knives coming into the hallway backwards. He nearly bumped into you, ready to throw knives at you. – “Watch me sis, I got knives!” – he scolded you. Diego and you backed up when Ben came in the hallway. – “There you are!” – he said as you were standing behind your brother, hand on his shoulder.

Your eyes falling on the knife he was holding. – “I’ll take that.” – you told Diego, plucking the knife from him. – “Wha…?” – before he could be more visibly confused, you threw the knife at Ben. It scraped his arm, sliding his vest a bit open. The knife clattered to the ground as you smiled embarrassed at him. Ben grunted looking at his torn vest. Diego gave you a brotherly slap against the back of your head. – “Don’t touch my knives.” – he called out. – “Diego not the right time.” – you told him between a held up smile. – “No Y/n I already told you; you don’t touch my knives.” – he continued holding his finger up.

Meanwhile Ben cracked his knuckles readying himself to attack you with his tentacles again. – “Diego Run!” – you shouted, pulling him with you by his vest. His eyes widened seeing the tentacles speeding his way. Diego quickened his pace, taking the front as he was dragging you along now. You made it outside just in time. Out of breath you encountered Klaus sitting on the porch. – “Oh there you are I was starting to wonder if any of you were going to show up.” – he casually said making Diego nudge his legs to get up.

Not a moment later busted Allison, Luther, and Victor out. Five teleported a second later, adjusting his vest. – “Now this is a major issue.” – he said stroking his hand over the back of his head. – “You think!” – Allison blurted out. She scoffed loud taking a walk. Luther going after her which led to Victor following to Diego and Klaus following. You motioned to Five with your head to come along. He nodded giving you a weary smile.

Ben clicked his tongue hatefully at you. You rolled your eyes at him. – “Is Luther here? I know you have him so don’t even try to lie to me.” – you called out, letting yourself in the Sparrow Academy without approval of him. Ben scoffed, grabbing you by your wrist to a stop. – “Listen princess, what if we have him?” – Ben said as you pulled your hand out of his grip. – “Maybe he finally has seen how much more potential this family has considered against yours.” – he mocked, knowing it would taunt you.

You tensed your jaw, glaring at him. You turned away from him, shouting loud in the hallway. – “Luther! Luther come down!” – your voice booming loud in the hallway. Ben grabbed your hand to stop you as he immediately flinched his hand back after coming in contact with yours. He rubbed his hand. – “So you do have abilities. For a while I thought you were their mascot.” – he replied with a sneer. You smiled sarcastically at him, showing him your hand as electricity moved around your fingers.

You had given him a small electric shock the moment he grabbed your hand. – “Luther! Come out we are going home!” – you yelled loud. Ben grabbed for your shoulder as you flung your arm back to release his touch on you. – “Listen squid, you touch me one more time and I’ll fry you!” – you threatened. Ben chuckled. – “I’d like to see you try.”

He didn’t have to say that twice. You let electricity surround your hands, extending your hands out to him as the electricity hit him flat in the chest. Ben got flung against the wall, dropping coughingly down. He pressed his hand against his chest watching you walk off. – “Luther! Luther where the hell are you?” – you shouted for his attention. As you were about to step on the stairs, your path was blocked by Christopher. He changed color while bleeping something.

“You want to have a go cube?” – you taunted having enough of being held back. Christopher turned a bright red as you acted faster than him. You electrocuted him. His entire cube shivering till he dropped to the ground. – “Luther!” – you screamed out stepping over the cube. You came upstairs, hearing Luther’s voice come from out of a room. You went in, trying not to be amazed by the gym set up in the house. – “Y/n?” – Luther said confused jumping up.

Sloane sitting beside him as she stopped smiling. You pointed at him. – “We are going home!” – you made clear. Luther looked briefly down at Sloane, hesitating. – “Luther I said we are going home!” – you repeated not wanting to stay one minute longer with the Sparrows. Out of breath appeared Ben behind you. – “Luther you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” – he said rather warmly and caring.

It made you frown, staring stunned at his sudden friendliness. – “Shut up!” – you told him, having enough of his ego. – “Luther. Let’s go home.” – you said in a friendlier tone. Luther was still hesitant as you could practically hear Ben snicker in your ear. – “Luther I am your family. I’m your sister… please come home…I need you.” – you begged as Ben snorted loud at your confession.

You let your hand be surrounded by electricity as you touched Ben’s side. He jumped aside at the sudden sting in his side. Luther sighed deep, apologizing to Sloane. He walked over to you as you hugged him. Or rather he hugged you, lifting you up and squashing you in his tight embrace. – “Let’s go home sis.” – he said patting you on the head. You stuck your tongue out to Ben to rub it just that little bit more in his face.

Ben gave you a smile full of mockery back. God how much you hated him. How you also hated that he was exactly like the Ben you knew only raised more messed up. Ben stepped aside allowing you to leave with Luther. – “Are we just going to let them leave?” – Jayme questioned loudly. – “Let’s just kill them now!” – She insisted on. Ben held his hand up to silence her. Looking back to you for as long as he could.

Jayme was running after you. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw her approaching. Her expression hard and tense. Puffing loudly, you tried to keep in front of her, outrunning her. – “Hey Umbrella!” – she called out tauntingly speeding up. You felt her grip to you closer, her hand moving over your back to put you to a stop. You came to a halt as she had grabbed a hold of your hair. – “I wasn’t done talking.” – she said teasingly pulling you back by your hair.

You inhaled sharp through your nose, at the brink of giving her a piece of your own mind. You stepped back as she kept moving backwards. Feeling a sudden tug on your hair, made you turn your head to look. Ben’s hand firm around her wrist as he had pulled it off you. – “What are you doing?” – he said coldly, pushing her wrist to her it made her stumble backwards. Jayme puffed some hair out of her face. – “Getting revenge on the umbrella.” – she called out, glaring at you.

Ben glared right back at her. You observed their interaction with curiosity. Ben glanced your way, softening his expression. With a touch of his hand on your lower back, you felt your heart flutter for him. – “Ben let me just…” – Jayme started launching her hand at you. Ben caught her by the wrist again. Her hand clawed out inches away from your face. It made you widen your eyes brief, taking a subtle step back to have her hand out of your face. He swayed his finger to the side, shaking his head.

Jayme gritted her teeth, slapping her hand out of his grip, accidently hitting him in the face. Ben touched his cheek from the impact. Your eyes widened and hardened with anger. – “You hit him!” – you called out. – “How dare you hit him!” – you added while Ben waved his hand at you that it was alright. You called out a war cry, jumping at Jayme. You wrapped your legs around her while slapping her on top of her head. Jayme was receiving the impact trying to get you off. – “Get her off!” – Jayme screamed irritated.

Ben simply crossed his arms, smiling teasingly at you. You jumped off her, puffing loud. Jayme glared, readying her teeth to spit at you. Before she could spit at you, you electrocuted her. Her body spasmed till she dropped unconscious to he ground. – “I knew you could handle yourself.” – Ben said teasingly. You smiled sweetly at him. – “I just electrocuted your sister to the ground.” – you told him getting closer.

“Aren’t you getting revenge?” – you whispered standing as close as possible to him. Ben smirked. – “Would you like me to?” – he spoke back. You shrugged your shoulders. – “Try me Sparrow.” – you teased with a flirty smile. Ben’s gaze lowered to your lips as he briefly licked his. You moved your hand forwards as he grabbed it, quickly spinning you around till you were held against his chest.

He took in a deep breath, moving his head down to your shoulder. – “I could just use my abilities on you.” – he pondered with a chuckle. You cleared your throat drawing his attention to the hand he was still holding upwards of yours. A few sparkles of electricity moving around your fingers. He moved his hand over yours, clearly not bothered by the faint electricity running around it. He stretched your arm out, squinting his eye.

He then removed his hand from on top of yours, whispering shoot in your ear. You released a shot of electricity as it flung across the room, hitting a lightbulb hanging on the wall of the hotel. The lightbulb exploded making Ben smile. You turned your head to the side, glancing up to him. Turning your posture more, you were facing him again. Your heart pounding loudly. It has always beaten for Ben. Whether it be Umbrella Ben or Sparrow Ben.

Ben slowly parted his lips. – “I know you loved this other Ben.” – he whispered to you, moving his palm against your cheek. Hardening his grip as he moved his hand further back to your neck, grabbing you there. – “I think I’m gonna steal you from him.” – his last words ended as he forced his lips onto yours. You completely melted under his kiss, Sparrow Ben all you could think about. How much you hoped Umbrella Ben would forgive you for. Even though he was already long gone.

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gay-dorito-dust · 2 years

Text

“Cut the bullshit Klaus.”

“What! It’s the honest to god truth, I pinky swore and everything! Does that mean nothing to you!” Klaus whined, lifting up his pinky finger to wave it in your face before you smacked it away with an indignant scoff. “Yeah right.”

Klaus has brought to your attention that his douche of a brother, Ben, has formed a crush on you in recent times, before going on tangents about how he couldn’t look away from you, his eyes widening with awe whenever you stepped into the same room as him before straightening his posture as you cut across his line of sight, leaving behind a lingering trail of your scent. He would then add on how Ben would try to show off subtly to you and even stand closer to you whenever his family called upon yours for a one sided meeting that naturally ended in raised voices and threats of violence.

ludicrous doesn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling when hearing the shit that came from your friends mouth without suspecting that he may have snuck himself a couple of drugs beforehand despite being clear for a long while now besides the occasional self indulgence of a drink. You trusted Klaus but sometimes the things he says aren’t exactly grounded in reality and so you were suspicious to say the least when he started claiming that Ben, the man who’d done nothing but stare daggers into your back and berate your friends to elevate his own ego, had somehow aloud himself the time to grow a crush on you.

“I assure you it’s the truth! Only I could tell when Benarino is in love and you my dear friend are his object of desire.” Klaus said airily as he crept closer to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and bringing you into his side, “I can see it now. Y/n and Ben sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g-“ you cut off his teasing by shoving him away by bringing your hand to his face. “Nice to know I’m nothing more then an object to him then.” “You know I didn’t mean it like that!” Klaus whined, swatting away your hand from his face to pout at you before becoming serious.

“His eyes literally turn into hearts when he looks at you! He’s only ever looked at you like that whenever you laughed at something stupid being said or when your eyes brighten up with joy whenever we actually act like a proper fucking family for once. He looks at you like that whenever you say something snarky and smart or when you do something really cool and this doesn’t take an idiot to not notice but Ben really and truly can’t get enough of you y/n.” You didn’t say anything afterwards and instead opted to look into Klaus’ green eyes for any indication that the impassioned speech was nothing more then a lie but all you could find was pure and genuine emotions.

He wasn’t lying, he’d never lie to you about how Ben felt when he’s known his the longest out of any of his siblings, so if anyone knew of Ben’s feelings for you it’d be Klaus. You look away from him briefly to compose your thoughts and what your next move would be but a snicker brought your attention back to Klaus as he stared at you knowingly with a mischievous smirk across his face. “I know your secrete.” He prods your cheek with a finger. “Oh yeah? Enlighten me then.” You snarked, crossing your arms over your chest, feeling quite confident that Klaus was going to utter the most ridiculous shit you’ve ever heard…until.

“You like Ben.”

…Shit

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salvador-daley · 10 months

Text

Dead Sexy 💀😵🪦❤️

An Umbrella Academy AU feat. Pathologist!Dave + MorgueRegular!Klaus

A/N: This was supposed to be a one-shot but it already appears to be growing arms and legs so… here you go. Subscribe for more. More is coming.

CW: Repeated, temporary character death. Like, this fucker just won’t stay dead. Also, morgue stuff. Probably not for the faint of heart or delicate of stomach.

Inspired by @kawaiic0mmunism, to whom this is dedicated - for giving me brain rot. Thanks as always to @allisoooon for tolerating me.

Summary: Dave is a pathologist working at the city morgue. And Klaus… well, Klaus just keeps turning up.

Snippet:

“Mnnnnrgh!” the man groans, rolling onto his side. “Five more minutes. I was having the most amazing sex dream.”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

Dave leaps away from the rack on which the man’s body is stretched - the man who just a moment ago Dave was quite sure was 100 per cent dead but who apparently is very much alive. He crashes into a nearby filing cabinet, sending a wide arc of coffee all over his white lab coat and sensible shirt while screaming, “WHAT THE FUCK!”

The man blinks his eyes open now. He props himself up onto one elbow and takes a look around, taking in the startled pathologist with his back pressed against the filing cabinet, the splashed coffee on the lino, the fluorescent lights of the basement mortuary, the open cooler next to him containing a body bag, and then finally the identical black bag half-wrapped around his own body.

“Ah, shit. It happened again.”

The guy sighs a weary sigh and sits up to get a better look at his surroundings, rubbing a hand through his curls and smacking his lips together. He seems far too relaxed about waking up in the morgue, which is in direct contrast to Dave, who is still struggling to come to terms with what he’s seeing.

“You-you-you… YOU’RE DEAD!”

The guy gestures at himself, fanning his hands up and down his body. “Well, clearly not.”

“But you-you were! You were dead!”

The guy rolls his eyes and swings his legs over the side of the rack, still encased in the body bag. “Yeah, kind of an occupational hazard.”

Read the rest on AO3

Tagging because I crave attention: @badsext @yeah-klave @softforklave @anglophile-rin @falloutby @merry-melody @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @super-unpredictable98 @wcrmboy @spookyfbi @squishitude @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @love-is-dirty-baby @jender123 @vonkimmeren @narnianaos @sylvertyger @merrilark @faceache111 @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @thislovelylife @falafel14

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callmelinamfsnow · 2 years

Text

Four Days Later

Warnings: (Kind of) spoilers for TUA S3 Word Count; 2,100+

Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: Five figures out how to get a phone and makes it his mission to make you smile and blush to death before your date. Ch. 1: “How Old Are You?” Ch. 2: The Beginning of The Date

A/N:This story ended up getting way too long so I’m just making their date another part. This is also like 25% texts.

“Hi is this (Y/N)?”

“Yes, who’s this?”

“It’s Five from the diner”

“Oh I was wondering when you were going to text me.

Thought you’d just conned me out of my money and ran”

“I’d be an idiot to do that”

(Y/N) smiled at that text, biting her lip as she thought of something to reply. It’d been four of five days since the day at the Diner, and each day both of them grew a bit more anxious to talk to the other. Five felt like he was going to go crazy.

He’d discovered some keys in his coat pocket when he left the Diner which led him to a small townhouse walking distance from there. He got lucky that he got there just as it had started to rain.

‘I wonder if she likes the rain’

He took off his suit jacket and put it on the hook behind the door. Slowly making his way through the home, taking in the plain design and simple furniture. The kitchen was clean. A few pieces of fruit in a fruit bowl on the counter along with a coffee maker and a small coffee station.

‘Cute’

He unbuttoned his vest as he made his way to the upstairs, passing by an open bathroom before walking into the master bedroom. Slipping his vest off he let out a “huh” and dropped it onto the bed, going to undo his tie next. The room seemed bigger than it really was. Maybe it was the plain white walls with no decorations. He had nightstands on either side of his bed. A tall dresser next to his door. A small chair in the corner of his room with a simple lamp next to it.

He dropped his tie on the bed and went to take off his shirt next as he walked into the bathroom. “Holy shit” he mumbled as he got a good look. The shower with the deep tub took up most of the room, but he didn’t complain. Who needs all that space to take a shit? He opened one door that led to a small space for the toilet, losing interest and closing it quickly. He opened the other on the wall next to it that led to his closet, just as he finished taking off his shirt. His wardrobe matched the house. Plain. Simple.

“Well at least it’s not a school boy uniform” he sighed and dropped his shirt in the hamper, exiting through the doors that led back to his bedroom.

Now that he didn't have to worry about being homeless he could focus on figuring out if he had a job, and if not how to get one so he could get a phone to talk to (Y/N). Four days later he managed to secure a job and use the cash he found in his home to get a phone and plan. Now he was finally able to talk to her again.

"So how have you been since we last saw each other?"

She stared at the text and contemplated what all to say. In reality, everything was great until yesterday which is why she had been so relieved to have her self-deprecating thoughts proved wrong when Five finally messaged her.

"Eh. I've been better, but I'm happy to finally hear from you :)"

"Well, I'm happy to hear that I made you happy.

What's wrong?"

Five furrowed his brows as he read the "I've been better" over again. He didn't like the thought of her having a bad day.

"I'm just tired from being responsible and dealing with family"

"I can empathize with the latter

Do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah I have two older sisters, you?"

"I have six adopted siblings

I'm also adopted"

"Wow, you just get more and more interesting huh?"

"Guess so

I'd love to tell you more of my interesting facts over some coffee or dinner maybe. When are you free?"

"Sounds like fun

I can do Thursday or Friday"

"Thursday

The sooner the better

Want to see that pretty smile as soon as possible"

My goddess, he was making her smile so much her face was going to start hurting soon.

"Well, Thursday it is (:

So which one do you want to do?"

"Whichever you're more comfortable with"

"Coffee sounds good

What time?"

"Noon?

You chose the place"

"Noon is good for me and okay let me think of somewhere cute and I'll send you the address"

"Starbucks doesn't make the cut?"

"I'd like to see if I can think of any other better options than a crowded, loud Starbucks"

She giggled as she sent the last text, biting her lip as she thought of a place for their date. Granted Starbucks wouldn't be the worst place to do it, but an alternative with more privacy and a cuter environment sounded more appropriate. There were a couple of places that came to mind, but one was a bit pricey and the other was a bit far.

“Don’t stress about it too much. I’m fine with a cup of coffee and you.”

“Fuuuuuck me” she groaned as she read the text, placing her hand against the wall and dropping her head. (Y/N) stayed like that for a minute before breaking into a little happy dance/sway. “Oooo I hope this shit doesn’t go South” she sighed, a giant smile on her face as she wrote her reply.

“Might make you prove it and choose a shitty place on purpose”

“Well that’d sure make an interesting first date

Would you mind if we paused so I could go shower?”

“Yeah of course

I can figure out where we’ll go while you’re in there”

“Alright I’ll be back in a jiff”

Five had actually been standing in his bathroom in nothing but his boxers ready to turn on the water for a while, but he couldn’t bring himself to pause the conversation. He sighed as he turned the water on and slipped out of his boxers. He hadn’t been lying when he said all he needed was a cup of coffee and you. He was a simple man, whose only interest was to get to know you better and maybe (hopefully) see you again.

Once the water was warm enough he got in, sighing in contentment as he felt it hit him. He hadn’t exactly been able to have a nice shower for the past month considering he was saving the world and the hotel showers’ were shit. But his, his had a detachable shower head with four different settings, all of which brought him utter joy. Although he was supposed to be taking a relaxing shower, he couldn’t help but rush to resume talking to her.

Meanwhile (Y/N) had been trying her best to distract herself from waiting for his text. Deciding to help herself to some ice cream as she thought of a place to go to. She scrunched her nose up and groaned, annoyed at how much she was overthinking things, and switched back to her texts reading his over again. All he wanted was her and some good coffee. Plain and simple. “Okay, okay stop fucking with yourself and just pick” she muttered to herself before eating another spoon of ice cream. Her phone got placed on the counter while she cleaned up, finally able to distract herself.

Five let out a breath as he got out of the shower and put his towel on. He didn’t hesitate in opening his phone, reading your reply of “Have fun” and cracking a small confused smile.

“I’m back”

(Y/N) stilled when she heard her phone go off, a smile starting to spread on her face as she made her way over.

“Welcome back

I decided on where to go”

“That’s great, where?”

“There’s a nice café/bakery I haven’t gone to in a bit.

I think you’ll find the coffee to your liking”

“Sounds perfect”

The two spent the rest of the night and the following day talking. Their conversations didn't stray too far from the normal “How is your day going?” or small talk. When the day of their date finally came, (Y/N) was somewhat surprised when she excitedly woke up earlier than she normally does. As she checked the time on her phone. The lack of a message from Five most likely meant he hadn’t woken up yet or was busy. Taking the opportunity, she went to shower, deciding today would be a bit of a self-care shower.

One relaxing shower she walked back into her bedroom, debating if she should stick to her simple hair routine. In all honesty, she was kind of lazy and didn’t feel like doing the most with her hair. However, she was going on a date. “Ugh, this sucks” she semi-whined before grabbing her nice scented lotion and putting it on. While finishing up she realized she hadn’t checked her phone or even bothered to reply to Five. “Oooo sorryyyy” she sing sang/mumbled, picking up her phone just as a text came in.

“Good morning sunshine

We still on for noon at the cafe?”

“Look at that I was just about to text you too

And yes of course we are

You still owe me those five dollars ;)”

“Don’t worry I didn’t forget dear”

“Dear”. That was new. (Y/N) has been called babe and mamas by guys before, maybe even a love every once in a while, but she couldn’t help the butterflies in her chest when she read that pet name.

“Good 😌”

The next few hours consisted of (Y/N) and Five both mentally and physically preparing for the date. With the help of her roommate (Y/N) was able to decide on an outfit that was cute, comfortable, and even made her feel confident.

“So what else do you have planned for the date,” her roommate asked as she helped (Y/N) put her necklace on. “Umm, nothing really. We’re just gonna get coffee and talk” she shrugged and looked herself over in the mirror. “Really? Kind of basic, no?”

“Yeah I guess but I also didn’t want to do that much for our first date and he had said all he needed was some coffee and me for it to be a good date”

“Awe that’s cute”

“Right? I was smiling so hard when I got the text.” (Y/N) said as she turned to look at her friend. “I’m also just kind of going to see how things go on the date and maybe we’ll… hmm, shit I don’t know” she huffed at the end, trying to think of what else they could do. “It’s nice outside so I was going to say we could go for a walk or something but that’s kind of the same thing. Movies?” She asked more than suggested. “Yeah that sounds good, or a bookstore/ the library? You said you thought that’d be a cute idea and you’re already being aesthetic and getting coffee” her roommate replied in a reassuring tone.

(Y/N) didn’t exactly have much experience or luck with dates, having to deal with her share of assholes. Her friends and family weren’t exactly the most helpful and the ones that were had their things to deal with. Things (Y/N) would consider more important than her, even when they obviously weren’t. Therefore her roommate was more than happy to offer to help her out after they stumbled upon the topic in their morning small talk.

“Yeah, I just hope I find I book I like and can concentrate on” (Y/N) said as she made sure she had everything in her bag, “I mean it’s noon, so I’m sure we’ll think of something if we get bored”. She picked her phone up to check the time smiling at Five’s texts.

“Hope you’re not stressing yourself out as much as you were picking the place

I’m sure I’ll look unimpressive compared to you”

“What’d he say now?” Her roommate asked scooting closer to her. (Y/N) happily showed her the texts, “oh my gosh you are cheesing!!”. (Y/N) let out a mix of a laugh and giggle, nodding in agreement. “I know. I know, I just hope he actually ends up being as nice as he seems. I do not want to fucking deal with more bullshit” she sighed at the end, closing her phone for a second to just breathe. “Me too, but only one way to find out.” her roommate hummed, “what time is it?”. (Y/N) opened her phone to check, “it’s about to be 11” she replied and let out another excited breath, before replying to Five.

“Well, you’ll find out soon 😌

And if you’re wearing your cute little suit again I’ll definitely look underdressed haha”

Just one more hour.

Tags:

@ay4kshalatus

@navs-bhat

@yuki1s--note

@behradsweedstash

@nevbrooke-555

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jaymehargreeves · 1 month

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here it is ! just 3.5k words of me being emo about sparrow!ben because that one flashback to the sparring match won’t leave my brain <3

#the umbrella academy #the sparrow academy #ben hargreeves #jayme hargreeves #pogo tua #tua fic #the umbrella academy fic #the umbrella academy fanfiction #my writing

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jaesincorrectquotes · 1 year

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𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙟𝙖 𝙫𝙪?

|| GIF by: @viktorhargreeves

|| Parings: Ben Hargreeves x Reader

|| Version: Sparrow

|| Setting: Set during the time they fight the guardian

|| Series, Oneshot, Blurb, Incorrect

|| Author's Note: I just rewatched THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY. And I am falling for Ben Hargreeves once more.

|| Announcement: I will be doing a Q&A! So, just slip into my ask box and ask me stuff!

|| Next Post: lee junho x attorney!reader

|| Story below the cut

|| Warnings: None

|| Type: Idk if it could be counted as angst, mostly fluffy

|| Story below the cut

"Do you get deja vu?" You look to your side to see Ben. "What?" He rolls his eyes as he repeats "Do you get deja vu when I'm with you?" You just look at him and ask "Why are you asking that?" He looked away "Tsk. Never mind." You rolled your eyes at him "Babe. Honestly." He just sighed saying "Fine. Its just that, in your timeline you were also with your Ben. And in this timeline your with me. And as far as some people say, we look alike. And-" You cut him off and said "No. I dont get deja vu. You may look like him, sound like him, smile like him. But you are different from him. Sure your arrogant, annoying, and a major dickhead but thats what I love about you." He just smiled and said "Thats good. I'm better than him anyways."

|| Author's Note: Thats was so effing short. But I hope you guys enjoyed this. Please do not reblog without my permission. If any of you readers notice a fic that is written like this please tell me. Please follow and like. And give your honest criticism in the comments or dm me. Thank you very much! - Jae

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ficnation · 2 years

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Here for You - Diego x Reader

Request: “Hello! Could you maybe possibly do a diego fic where the reader is in a depressive episode and he spends the entire day just lying with them in bed and comforting them? Thank you!!! Have a nice day <3”

requested by anonymous

Word count: 771

Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: depressive episode, angsty but fluffy

A/n: I was in my feels when writing this. (Btw I was listening to Formidable by top when writing this) Please let me know your thoughts on it and reblog if you can <3

☁ 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ☁ || ☁ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ☁

“Honey?” Diego’s voice echoed around the quiet apartment while he stepped inside. He scrunched his eyebrows in worry when he didn’t get anything in return.

You heard him stumble like always when he tried to take his shoes off without holding onto anything nearby. Usually, you’d at least smile at that action, but today you couldn’t muster up the energy to do so. Hell, you couldn’t even remember when was the last time you left the bed to take a shower or eat something that wasn’t dry cereal.

When you heard Diego’s steps nearing the door to your bedroom, you pulled the comforter even further up your face. You didn’t want him to see you this way, but what could you possibly do when he was already outside the door to your room?

You wanted to tell him to go away and leave you alone, but the words wouldn’t escape your parted lips no matter how much you wanted to get them out.

There was a soft knock on the wooden door before it opened wide with a painful creak.

“There you are,” Diego said when his eyes found your silhouette hidden underneath the covers. His voice turned cheerful now that he’s found you. “What are you doing in bed? It’s afternoon.”

He stepped closer before sitting down on the edge of the bed, his hand gently pulling off the comforter so he could look at your beautiful face. But when your eyes didn’t meet his, and a smile didn’t take over your features, he took a deep sigh.

“It’s back, isn’t it?” Diego reached out his hand to push a lonely strand of hair away from your forehead.

You nodded weakly in response, and it was all it took for your partner to spring into action. He left your side for a few minutes disappearing into the bathroom before you could hear the sound of running water. When he came back, he quickly threw the covers off of you and lifted you up into his arms. You looked at him confused while he carried you towards the bathroom.

“Diego, what are you doing?” you asked, holding onto his neck with your arms loosely thrown over his shoulders. You didn’t have to worry about falling because Diego would never let that happen.

Inside the bathroom, he sat you down on the edge of the tub, helping you get out of your clothes so you could step into the bubbly water. You curled your legs up, resting your head on your knees and watching how the water rippled with your movement before it stilled again.

Diego took care of you, gently splashing the warm water onto your back and arms. He even washed and conditioned your hair, sculpting a mohawk on top of your head and making you smile weakly at his antics. His heart flapped cheerfully at that sight, and he wished that grin would stay on your face forever.

When the water got cold, Diego decided it was time to finish the bath. He helped you climb out of the bathtub and left you in the room alone so you could dress in the clothes he placed on the edge of the sink. In the meantime, Diego grabbed your laptop from the desk and put on one of your favorite shows. He thought about running to the kitchen to get some snacks but decided against it because he wasn’t sure if he would even find anything in the cupboards.

Entering the room, you frantically searched for your partner’s silhouette. At first, you didn’t really want him to see you in this state, but his presence made the bad thoughts in your head too foggy to focus on. Diego’s gentle words and touch made you feel lighter and more present. You weren’t sure you could get out of your mind that fast without him.

“Chop chop, get in,” Diego’s voice beckoned, making your eyes snap in his direction, and in what seemed like seconds, you were already crawling underneath the covers beside him. “Still too far away.” The man sighed, pulling you closer, so your side was pressed tightly to his body.

“Thank you, Diego,” you mumbled after a few minutes of silence between you. You were so lucky to have him in your life.

“What are you thanking me for?” He kissed your forehead, leaning his cheek on the top of your head. “I’m just here for you to remind you how strong you are. And you’ll get through whatever is bothering you, love.”

Diego will make sure of it. He wasn’t going to leave you alone with your thoughts.

@infectedcleo @lilithjo @crimson-candle @azanoni @humanmistakes @yttricuz @twdeadlysins @kamieshep @donttelltheelff @jessica-mikaelson18

#tua #the umbrella academy #diego hargreeves x reader #diego x reader #tua x reader #the umbrella academy x reader #number two x reader #tua fics #the umbrella academy imagines #tua imagines #the umbrella academy fic #diego hargreeves #tw: depression #my writings #ficnation

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angst-fairygodmother · 1 year

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Darkened Hearts (The Umbrella Academy)

It’s been ten years of trying to move on. But when Reginald Hargreeves’ death sets off a snowball of events leading to the end of the world, you may as well throw in reuniting with an ex. But can Diego and Y/N set aside their difference and fix things, before the countdown ends and the world blows up the same way as their marriage?

CHAPTER 1: BAD IDEA

Word Count: 2293 Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x (fem)Reader Warnings: Drug references, references to canon-typical violence, canon-typical language Rating: T Cross-posted to AO3: here

A Sequel to Light Fingers

There were still days when your bare ring finger felt wrong, naked and exposed, or like a piece was missing. Today was one of those days, and you wished you knew why, the foreboding in your stomach heavy and almost painful. But you forced yourself out of bed anyway, forced yourself to put on your uniform and go to work for a double-shift and pretend that everything was just fine.

“Hey Y/N,” one of the busboys called from where the rest of the kitchen staff were all crowded around the small television set, “Hargreeves. Isn’t that your ex’s last name?”

You frowned, setting down the cup you had been drying off and joining them.

“The explorer and intellectual, perhaps best known for his controversial adopted children, The Umbrella Academy, was found in his home after a complete heart failure and cardiac arrest,” the reporter continued, reading from a sheet of paper.

“Well damn, who knew he even had one of those?” you muttered, watching the images flashing on the screen as the woman continued on cheerfully, describing Reginald’s various accolades, glossing over or ignoring entirely his flaws.

“Authorities pronounced him dead on the scene, and the world now watches with baited breath for what happens next? Will the estranged young superheroes return for their father’s funeral, and will any of them claim his place as patriarch and headmaster of the once-famed Academy?”

You wondered if you should call Diego. What would you say? He wouldn’t want your sympathy, if anything he’d be glad the man was dead. But it seemed crass to suggest getting a drink together, for old time’s sake, to celebrate.

You shook your head, forcing your eyes from the staticy screen. Probably best to do nothing.

An hour or so later, the doorbell chimed as someone came in, despite the fact that the door should have been locked.

“We’re closed,” you called, not looking up from your task refilling boxes of sugar packets.

“Y/N!” a familiar voice called dramatically. “I thought you’d be here, you workaholic you.”

“Klaus?” you startled, looking up to stare at him as he sauntered in. “What are you doing here?”

“Well. I was on my way to dear old dad’s funeral. I’m sure you heard that he croaked. And I thought, hm. I should bring a plus one, and who better than my best friend in the whole world who used to be married to my brother til he was stupid enough to let you get away.”

“That’s a long winded way of saying you’re trying to cause trouble on purpose.”

“No. I’m saying, don’t you want to see Diego? You can offer him...comfort?”

“I can’t do that Klaus. Diego and I have to stay out of each other’s lives.”

“Why?” his voice took on a whiny quality. “You’re like the only person he’s ever actually liked. I’ve never seen Diego smile before. Or since. Just when you two were together.”

You felt your resolve wavering before you swallowed those emotions back down. “It’s like...heroin.”

“What?”

You motioned for Klaus to take a seat on one of the stools across from you, already pouring him a cup of coffee from the pot the staff had made to get through cleanup.

“When a person gives up heroin, it’s because they know they’re addicted. They need it and rely on it, and quitting is acknowledging that’s a problem. It’s not healthy or safe or good for you.”

“Diego wasn’t safe? Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him if he did.” Klaus’s brows knit together, studying your face carefully. Despite his usual peacefulness, something in the way he said it made you believe him, and it sent a chill through you.

“No. That’s not...stay with me here okay, please? Even once you’ve acknowledged those things and given it up, it’s not gone just like that.” You snapped your fingers. “Right? You miss it, and mourn it, and...crave it. But you can’t give into that feeling. You can’t let yourself surrender. So whenever you feel that itch, that hunger and heartbreak gnawing at you and determined to leave a hole in your gut you...chew a piece of gum or whatever instead. To distract yourself.”

“You replaced my brother with gum?” his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

You sighed, rubbing your temple. “No. I mean there may have been an attempt to with the cute girl from--” you shook your head, interrupting yourself. “It’s a metaphor Klaus. The point is that you can’t go back to the heroin. You can’t call it and check up on it and see how it’s doing. Or go to its father’s funeral and offer your condolences. You can’t apologize or say you made a mistake and gave up the best thing in your life and that losing it was the worst pain you’ve ever felt and I know it’s my fault and can we please please start over and try again.”

You were near tears and turned your back to your friend to try and hide them.

“With this conversation? Absolutely. I’m confused.” His voice had a teasing lilt that grated in the wake of how serious you were trying to be.

You growled in frustration, turning sharply back to him. “Clearly using a drug metaphor with you was a bad idea. I thought it’d help you understand but you’ve never willingly quit one in your life.”

“Hey! I’ve gone to rehab…”

“By force or for the convenience of a bed. And stole pills from the nurses’ station usually.”

“You’re being very mean.”

“You can leave whenever you want.”

“He needs you, Y/N. Not that he’ll ever admit it.”

“Klaus, please…” you sighed, closing your eyes. When you opened them again, he was gone, empty coffee cup the only trace he’d been more than a figment of your imagination.

Diego knew it was all bullshit, most of what Luther ever said was, but he couldn't stop thinking about it anyway. "It was personal" "someone with a grudge." And his own conclusions that there were no signs of forced entry or struggle. Not many people had both motive and means to pull it off: Reginald's five remaining children, only three of whom were in town and able to get to the Academy; maybe Pogo, although he'd never seen anything to think the chimp thought less than the best of the old man; and her. His ex-wife hated his father, maybe even more than he did, for everything he had done, directly or indirectly. And she was an expert thief, if anyone could get in and out undetected it would be her. He wanted to believe the coroner's report, to believe that at the end of the day Reginald was human enough to die of something mundane. But even if he did, Number One never would, and Y/N would be the top of his suspect list.

It would almost be for the best if it was her, if the other options were his siblings. That's what he tried to tell himself anyway as he threw a dagger to land between the eyes of a looming water buffalo. For the split second between when the blade left his fingers to when it thunked into place, he even considered how easy it would be to point Number One in that direction and let him go.

“Diego, please. I’ve told you this already, but I’ll keep saying it until you believe me,” her voice rang in his ears, one of the few, failed attempts to sit down and work things out. “I wouldn’t have been sad if your father had been caught in the crossfire. In fact I probably would have gotten a pinata with his face on it. But I swear. On my mother, on my brother, on my father’s grave. Luther was not supposed to be there. And I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”

Back then, he wouldn’t have doubted it for a second. But now…something just didn’t feel right. He was still contemplating the theory, turning it over in his mind like he frequently turned a knife in his hand, spinning it to the tune of the music drifting through, when a sound like thunder crashed and the room went dark. All thought of his ex and his father’s death left his mind in a rush as he rushed out to the courtyard, following the direction of both the noise, and the metal which all seemed to be suddenly magnetized toward its adjoining walls.

It had been a few hours, but Klaus's words still plagued you. In many ways, he was right. You missed Diego, more than you could find the words for or even wrap your thoughts around. You had just pushed those feelings down further and further, a dammed tide as resentment and time became a wall between you. But there were still floodgates, and the mechanisms might be rusted to hell but a little grease could open them, in theory.

This was a unique opportunity. And you were concerned about what the loss, and the reunion with his siblings, might be doing to his head. It was just the nice thing, the right thing, to try and reach out.

It was a flimsy excuse, but you let it carry you and played it over and over while you toyed with the end of a sleeve and dialed the number on the old, faded post-it.

You almost hung up on the first ring, sucking a deep breath through your nose and steeling yourself when no one answered.

The phone kept ringing, and you were just about to give up entirely when a voice you half-recognized answered.

“Hello? Who is this?” they asked.

“Uh. Hi. I’m looking for Diego Hargreeves. I’m a...an old friend, and I heard about his father…”

“He already left. I don’t know if he’ll be back for you to leave a message.”

“Oh. That’s okay. Am I speaking to one of his siblings then?”

“Yes. This is Luther Hargreeves.”

‘Shit,’ you couldn’t help thinking. ‘Of course it would be the sibling you most wanted to avoid.’

“Oh. I...I’m sorry for your loss then. I won’t take up any more of your time…”

“What did you say your name was again?”

“I...didn’t. I’m Y/N…”

“Y/N? As in--” you hung up the phone in a panic before he could finish his question and then sat, staring at the phone as if afraid it would, or daring it to, ring.

He had already left. He hated his father and that house. There was no reason to linger now, so he would have wasted no time. He was probably back at the Lion (you briefly considered calling there too, but Al was terrible at forwarding calls in the best times) or out on patrol.

You scrubbed your hands tiredly over your face and laughed bitterly at yourself. The whole idea had been so stupid.

Klaus rushed to follow his brother as he walked off. This day had been a laughable disaster, and it was probably a good thing that Y/N hadn't come after all. But he still wanted to do something. He missed happy Diego (he missed all of his siblings, Diego especially. Other than Ben, he had lost track of all of them a bit, or maybe more aptly lost himself. But this wasn't about him. It was about doing something good for once, and fixing Diego and Y/N's relationship, for them).

As he climbed into the back of the car over protest, he made a comment, something flippant and off-color and out of nowhere that he forgot as soon as it left his lips, and smiled when Diego cracked a smile in spite of himself. That was good, that was a start.

They turned down dark side streets in silence while Klaus gnawed on a hang nail and tried to think.

“Hey, about what you said to Allison, the failed marriage thing,” he started suddenly.

“I don't want to talk about it Klaus,” Diego growled. “Just tell me where I'm dumping your ass so today can finally be over.”

“It's just…it felt like projection. And I'd know all about that. Do you want to talk about you and–”

“No Klaus, I just said I don't want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. It's over. It's done.”

“But–” Klaus yelped as Diego turned a sharp corner and he was nearly knocked into Ben's spectral lap. He gritted his teeth as he sat back upright. The direct approach was out then, time for plan B, in this case standing for Breakfast. Or maybe it should be D for Diner? W for Waitress?

Not long after, they were parked down by the water, Diego doing something that involved a lot of staring and brooding, which was not unusual, but left Klaus uncomfortably alone with his thoughts, which were not being very productive. The only remotely helpful thing he remembered thinking was that the diner would be closing soon, and if they didn’t get there, it would all be wasted, take two, and he wouldn’t get a third try.

Klaus heard the vague crackle of Diego's bootleg police scanner but decided not to pay much attention to it, since through the closed door he couldn’t hear what exactly was said.

“Diego, thank you for joining us, we have decided on…drumroll…” he tapped tapped a rough pattern on the back of his brother’s seat, “wwwaafflllles.”

“I’m gonna drop you off at the bus stop. I gotta get back to work.”

Klaus's heart sank. And then somehow sank again when Diego slipped his old mask on, a sure sign there was no chance of changing his mind.

So much for a reunion.

#that's right folks #it's been way too long #but it's finally time #the sequel is here!#Diego Hargreeves x Reader #Light Fingers #A SEQUEL #The Umbrella Academy fic #I hate that summary but it'll do til I come up with something better #I am weirdly stressed to post this so now it's time to RUN AWAY!!

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miss-galaxy-turtle · 1 year

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Bc Jewish Five means the world to me

I wanna write a fic of Five going to temple after splitting up w his siblings at the end of s3 because he's trying to find himself (idk if he'd actually follow the faith tbh he gives me agnostic "with the things I've seen there can't be a god" BUT disagreeing with god is ALSO very jewish so idk) and he meets a little old jewish lady who becomes a grandmother figure to him

Give Five a bubbie 2k23

I'm gonna wait to write the actual fic until we know more about s4 but I'm working on this oc effective immediately

#umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #tua #ua #umbrella academy fic #the umbrella academy fic #tua fic #ua fic #umbrella academy oc #the umbrella academy oc #tua oc #ua oc #umbrellaocsdaily #five hargreeves #jewblr #jewish five hargreeves

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joenotexotic99 · 1 year

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How come there is no Five Hargreaves smut out there so I write Five Hargreaves smut but literally nobody reads it🤨

The math ain't mathing.

#the unbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy smut #five hargreaves smut #five hargreaves x reader #five Hargreaves x reader smut #five hargreaves x you #the umbrella academy season 3 #the umbrella academy fic #please just like my post #it took me way too long

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thevillagequeer · 1 year

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I Hope You Grow Old Enough to Be Imperfect

Prologue/? AO3

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth.

This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began.

Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He had just found his fourth child.

"No!" Rachel Herschberger had just given birth. She certainly had not been pregnant when the day first began, thank you.

Rachel Herschberger had just given birth and her parents were selling her son to a billionaire for three thousand dollars.

"No! He's not for sale." She clutched the child close, shielding him from the prying eyes of Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

Her mother and father turned to look at her, aghast, both at the explosiveness of her reaction and her disobedience.

"Rachel," Her mother hissed, putting a firm hand on her shoulder, pushing both Rachel and her baby forward from the bed.

"This is what must be done." Her mouth closed in a hard line, matching the hard lines on her face. The only place of pity Rachel could find was in her eyes, ringed red and wet with tears yet to fall.

Her child had been born just as a baby should, despite the abrupt and fantastical nature of his birth. Ten fingers, ten toes, fists scrunched up beneath his chin, just as God intended.

But then there were the wails. Rachel had never heard an infant make such horrid sounds before. She didn't know such a little body was capable. The boy had cried and cried and cried, right through Sir Hargreeves entrance, right through the attempted negotiations.

"Now, if you just sign here, Mr. Herschberger, I will be able to give you some peace and quiet, eh?" Hargreeves quipped, patience running thin. The patriarch of the Herschberger clan lowered the pen to paper.

"No!" Rachel yelled again fiercely. Hargreeves' cold stare turned onto her and she felt herself freeze beneath it.

"No." She said again. "My child is not for sale." They would need the mother's signature to make the adoption legal, Hargreeves had said so himself. It didn't matter if the child was out of wedlock, or that the mother was still under the control and protection of her parents.

"Excuse me?" Hargreeves stepped between Rachel's parents towards the bed, smile ice cold. This man was so cold.

"Trust me, my dear, this will benefit you just as much as I." He peered down at the baby, who had cried himself into a fitful sleep.

Hargreeves looked at Rachel's child the way a wolf eyes its prey. Hungry, but excited just as equally by the chase as the reward. Rachel held her son closer. She was trembling.

"You can't have him. You can't have my son."

"Four thousand for the boy."

Rachel stayed firm. Silent, watching.

"Five!"

"Rachel, stop this nonsense--" Her father commanded.

"I don't have all day, ten, ten thousand for the child!"

The commotion stirred the child from his shallow slumber. Green eyes that hadn't quite settled on a shade opened. He looked up at his mother, he stared at Reginald Hargreeves. His gaze settled between the two at a figure no one else could see.

The boy howled.

Reginald was just barely missed by a falling wardrobe. Solid wood, weighing hundreds of pounds. It tipping over would have taken at least two men pushing it. Should have.

Rachel felt faint, her heart pressing rough in her chest and she could feel consciousness slipping away.

"No...no," She clutched her son, struggling to keep her hold and her wakedness. If she slipped, he'd be gone.

"I've got him." Sarah placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder, beckoning for the child. "I've got him, Rachel," She smiled sadly, pressing her palm to her sister's flushed cheek. "He's not going anywhere."

God bless her sister.

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When Rachel woke, the room was silent. And empty. Her heart clenched and her breath caught and a prayer fell to her lips.

"He's right here, he's right here, Rachel." Sarah was right at her side, bundle in her arms.

"Kept up with his tears all night, poor dear. The extra swaddling seems to have helped though." Her sister gently eased the baby back into Rachel's arms. Now, he seemed to have finally fallen into a rest, wrapped thickly in swaddling clothes despite the fall chill having not set in yet.

"But about--" Rachel started, eyes going from her son to the door to Sarah. Sarah reached out again, hand on her shoulder, humming an affirmation.

"Ma and Father changed their mind. When the wardrobe tipped over, your bible fell out." Sarah smiled, clearly grateful, but also uneasy, keeping the details of the story from her sister. Rachel could tell, but let it lie for now. Best not press good fortune.

"What? What did they tell Sir Hargreeeves?" Rachel tried to imagine what had changed her parents' hearts so fast.

Sarah hesitated, and looked down at her hands, tensely held in her skirt. She took a breath, looked over the child, and then met Rachel's eyes.

"They think he's been sent by God."

——————————————————————————————————

Chapter 1

Well...I hope you enjoyed! Chapter One will be done shortly I hope, I just got excited and wanted to post something with this fic. I will try to keep AO3 updated as well, I just am a mess when it comes to using that website lol

tag list: @frozenwafflesagain

if you want to be tagged, please ask!

#the umbrella academy #tua #the umbrella academy fic #klaus hargreeves #well #herschberger this time lol #rachel herschberger #<3

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littlerit · 1 year

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Chapter 35 of The Time Traveller’s Life is up!

So excited to post this one, y’all would not believe. Finally getting to put into play a scene I wrote maybe 18 months ago and have never breathed word of 🥳

Read from the beginning / Read from Chapter 35

Five is chronologically challenged.

Ever since he was five years old, Five has been time travelling uncontrollably to different points in his and Klaus’ lives - whether he has experienced them already or not. The displacements were mostly harmless when he was a child, and an older Klaus would sneak him out for doughnuts - but they became a lot more important after he stranded himself in the apocalypse, figuring out how to survive, and how to stop it all from ever happening.

Or: How would Five’s survival in the apocalypse, and his mission to save his family, be affected if he couldn’t control his time-travelling?

#the umbrella academy #number five #five hargreeves #the umbrella academy fic #tua-ttl #time traveller’s life

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salvador-daley · 10 months

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Dead Sexy 💀🪦🧡 Updated!

An Umbrella Academy AU feat. Pathologist!Dave + MorgueRegular!Klaus

A/N: You asked for more so… here it is. It would have come sooner, but a certain group of Anonymous dickheads put spanners to my plan. I’m really impressed at just how many of you have already subscribed to this silly little story. Stick around - there’s more in the works. 😘😘

(P.S. For anyone wondering if my other WIPs are on hold, don’t worry - more chapters of Chained and High Altitude are also on the way.)

CW: Description of a post-mortem exam

Dedicated to @kawaiic0mmunism (to whom the concept belongs) with thanks to @allisoooon

Summary: Dave is a pathologist working at the city morgue. And Klaus… well, Klaus just keeps turning up.

Snippet from Chapter 2:

Dave scrapes a sample from under each of Klaus’ fingernails, taking care to preserve any evidence that might indicate foul play.

Once the external exam is over, it’s time to check what’s ‘under the hood’, as Bob likes to call it. Dave has always found that turn of phrase off-putting, but there’s really no better way of describing it. Like a car mechanic, he needs to inspect the body’s cogs and gears to see which ones have failed.

Dave reaches for his scalpel and prepares to make his first incision; a deep cut from the front of each shoulder to the bottom of the breastbone, then down into a Y shape, the tail of which will extend from the sternum to the pubic bone, deviating to avoid the navel.

It will be a shame to cut through that tattoo.

He takes a deep breath and places the scalpel upon Klaus’ skin. It’s a strange and rare thing to do this on someone you’ve actually met and spoken to…

Klaus’ eyes pop open. “Hey, handsome!”

Dave leaps away from the autopsy table, flinging his scalpel to one corner of the room and his dictaphone to the other. “Holy fucking Jesus fucking Christ!”

Klaus raises his head. “Nope. Just me.”

Read the rest on AO3

Tagging because you haven’t told me to stop: @badsext @yeah-klave @softforklave @anglophile-rin @falloutby @merry-melody @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @super-unpredictable98 @wcrmboy @spookyfbi @squishitude @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @jender123 @vonkimmeren @narnianaos @sylvertyger @merrilark @faceache111 @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @thislovelylife @falafel14

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dear-galileo · 2 years

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coming home to you (with my own blood in my mouth)

here is my extremely indulgent klaus x dave season 3 fix it fic featuring gratuitous teasing of dune, making out, public displays of affection, and the hargreeves kids being happy

completed, 3/3 chapters

includes canon-typical violence

read it on ao3 here

Dave and Klaus tried to stick together in combat- it was one thing less to worry about, when they could see each other. But when Dave dared a glance to his left, he was alone.

Klaus was there until he wasn’t. War wasn’t the place to stand up and look for one’s lover though. Dave had to trust Klaus, trust the man’s uncanny ability to get himself in and out of trouble, just as much as Dave trusted Klaus to watch his back.

But at this moment, it was taking everything in Dave to not push himself up, and look for Klaus. Every day in this hell descended deeper into the darkness and depravity of man, but there was something in the air about today, something especially dangerous. It made the hairs on the back of Dave’s neck stand up, but it wasn’t like he could call off Viet Cong for the day, make the suits back at home let everyone walk away.

Dave shuddered, and pressed his chest lower to the ground. The gun pressed to his cheek wasn’t aimed at anyone, not that he could tell, but at this point, what was the difference between him shooting an old man to a young child? The result would be the same, and Dave feared that he would have to carry that forever.

Squint his eyes, clutch the gun tighter to him, and squeeze the trigger. Repeat. The screams around him were fading into a deafening roar, and throughout it all, Dave kept thinking- where was Klaus? He had been right next to him, but now that was just empty dirt, and-

Someone shoved Dave to the side roughly. Dave immediately dropped the gun and went for the knife he had in his pack, about to slash when he rolled and saw Klaus.

Except- this wasn’t the Klaus that Dave knew. Nor was it the Klaus from a faded memory of a diner and a punch, a cult and a plea. His hair went down to his shoulders and was frizzy, his fatigues replaced with a shirt full of dizzying colors and patterns.

“Stay down,” Klaus hissed, and Dave, who was now on his back, looked to him, and then to the young boy who was crouched behind him. Why was there a young boy here? He had a stern look on his face, a school-boy uniform, and was steadily staring at Dave.

“Am I dead?” Dave asked Klaus. A strange look went over Klaus’s face, and he shook his head. Hallucination, perhaps.

“Not yet, lover.” Klaus slapped at Dave’s body when Dave tried to roll around again, to grab ahold of his gun, when what sounded like a grenade went off only a few feet away.

Dave gasped, ears ringing as he fumbled for his gun, for Klaus, for the boy, for anything. His hands found something wet, warm and sticky, and it only took one sickening moment for Dave to register it as blood.

He dashed his hands all over his own body but found no gaping wounds. Reaching out for Klaus was something deeper than instinct, and the pained gasp that Klaus let out created an agony in Dave unlike anything he had ever felt before. “No,” Dave gasped, his hands finding and pressing down on the gash in Klaus’s stomach. “No, Klaus,”

“Fall back!” The captain screamed from somewhere behind them. “Troops, fall back!”

“Medic!” Dave screamed in response, causing the boy to jerk into action. Dave flinched as the boy roughly grabbed Dave’s ankle. His hand was cold- no hallucination then.

“No time for that. Grab him,” The boy was much too calm for this situation, how did he even get here, this deep in the fight?

“What?”

Klaus groaned, his blood seeping through Dave’s fingers, making Dave curse and press down harder.

“We’ll get him stitched up in a moment, but hold onto him!” The boy instructed again. The dirt around them was exploding, flying up as the latest wave of bullets landed. Dave slid an arm underneath Klaus’s neck, pressing their foreheads together.

“Hey, Klaus,” Dave whispered. Klaus blinked slowly, but met Dave’s eyes. “Keep those darling eyes open for me, alright?” Klaus’s mouth spread in a smile, before coughing, a dribble of blood running down his chin.

“Saved you,” Klaus slurred. “Did it,”

Dave’s mouth opened to say something, anything, but the boy held Dave’s ankle even tighter, cutting him off. “Holding on? Good. Close your eyes.”

read the rest on ao3!

#the umbrella academy #tua s3 #tua fic #klave #klaus x dave #tua fix it #the umbrella academy fic #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #em posts #my fics

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