#the thing about greg is that he's so plain that people ignore him

[idkimnotreal]

my favorite thing about succession is people who have no idea what autism is doing character analysis on greg and calling him machiavellian accusing him of manipulating everyone with his naivete because someone couldn’t possibly be that “off”.

who’s gonna tell them?

#succession hbo #he's autistic coded 100% #though i think it comes down more as caricature than actual representation #but then again every character on that show is a caricature #so i'm not angry just because greg is autistic #and they make it funny #the show makes fun of everybody #though logan is kind of winning lately #i'm not saying greg has no ambitions #but he doesn't hide that #it just is what it is #his personality isn't a fake persona to achieve anything #the thing about greg is that he's so plain that people ignore him #he says he wants something and no one does that so they just go 'right this guy is nuts' #and they give him stuff and he keeps rising #including tom

[novantinuum]

Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning

I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.

Let's take a look:

Gem Glow

"Awesome! What are these things?"

Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.

Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:

The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.

The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-

Laser Light Canon

"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."

Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.

At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.

And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...

"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"

And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.

"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"

Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.

I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.

Cheeseburger Backpack

So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)

Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."

"Yeah... they can't all be winners."

This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-

Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.

Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.

Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.

Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:

This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.

Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.

Together Breakfast

"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."

Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.

Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.

I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.

The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.

If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?

These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'

"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"

And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.

"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"

Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.

__

So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.

One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.

Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.

Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.

Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.

In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'

Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.

When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.

In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.

But they don't care.

Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.

With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.

And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...

No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.

#su #su future #steven universe #su meta #my post stuff

[storiesforallfandoms]

the girl next door ~ rodrick heffley;diary of a wimpy kid

word count: 1675

request?: yes!

waaaavyguurl “hey! could you do a rodrick heffley imagine where in rodrick rules the fem!reader has just moved in a house next to the heffley’s and she’s in maths class with rodrick. she’s kinda a genius, so he asks her to help him with hw and they start dating ?? maybe with an insert of greg who understands they’re together when he sees them dancing at the party ?? thank u <3″

description: in which rodrick falls for the smart girl next door

pairing: rodrick heffley x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

His mother had been adamant about the entire Heffley family going to greet their new neighbors just a day after they moved in. Susan spent the whole night making brownies, with Manny’s “help”, and had them boxed up and ready to go the next morning.

“What if they’re allergic to brownies?” Greg asked after Frank had to literally drag him out of bed.

“They’re made from scratch, so the only allergies in it are dairy and gluten,” Susan responded.

“Why couldn’t this have waited till tonight?” Rodrick groaned. “Give them some time to breathe before we scare them off.”

“If we wait too long we’ll look like rude neighbors!”

Rodrick rolled his eyes. He was sure none of the other people on the block had went to meet the new neighbors yet, but there was no talking Susan Heffley out of something once she set her mind to it.

She made the boys dress up in their nicest clothes, which for Rodrick was a pair of jeans without holes in them and a plain black t-shirt, before they made their way across the street. Rodrick let out an annoyed sigh as Susan knocked on the door and they waited.

A girl that looked about Rodrick’s age answered the door. Rodrick couldn’t help but stand up a little straighter as her eyes wandered over the family before her. “Uh...hi?”

“Hello!” Susan greeted. “We’re the Heffleys; I’m Susan, this is my husband, Frank, and my boys, Manny, Greg, and Rodrick. We just wanted to come over and welcome you and your parents to the neighborhood with some homemade brownies!”

“Nice to meet you,” the young girl greeted. “I’m (Y/N). You guys actually just missed my parents. They both work morning shifts, they won’t be home until sometime this evening.”

Rodrick held back his desire to tell his mother “I told you so”.

“Wait, so you’re here by yourself?” Greg asked. “That’s so cool!”

(Y/N) chuckled. “I appreciate the gesture none the less, and my parents will, too. I’ll tell them you stopped by, they’ll probably invite you guys back for dinner sometime.”

“That’d be great!” Susan said. “We’ll wait for your call!”

Greg and Manny were the first to break away from their parents, excitedly running back to the house to play video games and watch cartoons like they normally did on a weekend morning. Susan chased after Manny, telling him not to run across the street without her, while Frank just silently left. Rodrick stayed a moment, trying to think of something to say to (Y/N).

“I-I guess I’ll see you at school on Monday,” he finally managed to say, immediately cringing at the stupid thing he decided to say.

(Y/N) smiled at this, though, and responded, “Yeah, I’ll see you Monday. It’ll be nice to already know a friendly face.”

Rodrick smiled back and nodded. (Y/N) closed the door as Rodrick turned away, silently celebrating to himself before joining his family back at the Heffley household.

~~~~~~

That Monday, Rodrick tried not to seem too obvious as he looked around for (Y/N) at school. He couldn’t hide his disappointment when he couldn’t find her the first half of the day.

When she walked into his sixth period math class, Rodrick smiled widely and waved at her. She smiled back and quickly sat in the empty seat next to him.

“Hey! I finally found you!” she said. “This school is so big, and there’s so many people!”

“Yeah, it is pretty big,” Rodrick responded, lamely. “How have your classes been so far?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “They’re, you know, classes. I feel like I can’t form an opinion on anything yet.”

Before Rodrick could ask anymore questions, the teacher came in to start the class.

Math class always dragged on, but that day it felt like it was going at a pace even slower than a snail. Rodrick wanted nothing more than for the class to just end so he could talk to her more.

“The answer is six,” (Y/N) whispered to herself.

Rodrick looked over at her. “What?”

(Y/N) looked at him. Her face was confused at first until she realized she had spoken out loud. Before she could respond, the teacher asked, “Do you two have something to add Miss. (Y/L/N)? Mr. Heffley?”

The two exchanged a look before (Y/N) responded. “The answer to the equation is actually six. You mixed up on your second to last calculation.”

A snicker came from her classmates as the teacher rolled his eyes at her. “I can assure you my calculations are correct Miss. (Y/L/N).”

“I’m not saying they’re all wrong, just the second to last calculation.” (Y/N) rose from her seat and made her way to the whiteboard. “May I?”

“Oh sure, since you know everything.”

(Y/N) ignored his sarcastic tone and erased everything that was on the board except for the starting equation. Rodrick watched as (Y/N) rewrote the entire equation down to the last step, in which she changed the workings to equal six.

The entire room seemed to hold their breath as (Y/N) turned to their teacher. He had a blank expression on his face before letting out a sigh. “Okay, I see your point. Well done Miss. (Y/L/N), now go sit down.”

(Y/N) returned to her seat next to Rodrick, her cheeks tinted pink.

When class finally ended, Rodrick and (Y/N) left together. “That was so impressive! You’re, like, a math genius.”

“My parents have been teaching me basically since I was born,” (Y/N) explained. “They basically made me an overachiever since birth.”

“That’s cool, though. Maybe you could help me with my homework sometime.”

(Y/N) smiled. “Yeah! I’d love to!”

~~~~~~~

Rodrick watched (Y/N) talk to some friends in the living room from his spot in the kitchen. He couldn’t help but smile when she laughed at whatever one of the girls had said.

(Y/N) had really opened up in the months following her moving in. She had gained a great group of friends and had opened up a lot to the people in their grade. She was no longer the shy new girl, but now the smart, semi-popular girl that everyone loved.

“How long till you tell mom and dad about (Y/N)?” Greg asked as he came to stand next to his big brother.

“Disintegrate child,” Rodrick hissed. “Wait, how do you know about me and (Y/N)?”

Greg scoffed. “Come on, Rodrick. You’ve never looked at a girl the way you look at her, among other very obvious tells. You are totally in love with her.”

“Whoa, whoa. Back it up little bro. In love is a strong word. I like her a lot at the most.”

“Like who a lot?”

(Y/N) walked up to the brothers and threw an arm over Rodrick’s shoulder. He felt his heart starting to race at just her close proximity, and he couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his face knowing she was there next to him.

Okay, maybe I love her a little bit.

“What lucky girl has taken little Rodrick’s heart?” (Y/N) continued with their “friends” bit.

“You can drop it. Greg knows about us.”

(Y/N) sighed with relief as she dropped her arm from Rodrick’s shoulder. “Good. There was no way I was going to be able to pretend that Rodrick liked someone else. I was sure I was gonna crack.”

Rodrick wrapped his arm around (Y/N)’s shoulder and kissed her forehead. (Y/N) leaned into his embrace, a dreamy smile on her face as she peered up at her boyfriend. Greg looked between the two of them, an amused smile on his face.

“I’m happy for you guys,” he said. “But, just remember (Y/N), you could do so much better than Rodrick.”

Rodrick untangled himself from Greg just long enough to feign a threatening punch. Greg took off as soon as Rodrick’s hand went up, disappearing into the crowd of party people around him. Rodrick shook his head and rolled his eyes as (Y/N) laughed.

“He’s smarter than you give him credit for,” (Y/N) pointed out.

“Don’t give him too much credit, it’ll go to his already massive sized head,” Rodrick warned her.

(Y/N) laughed before giving Rodrick a quick peck on her lips. “So, Greg has already figured us out. When do we tell your parents?”

Rodrick sighed as he pulled (Y/N) tightly against them. “Realistically, they’re the next step. I don’t need Greg having anything else he can hold over my head as leverage or blackmail. But...I really don’t want you to meet them. Not because I don’t think they’d like you, they already love you more than they love the three of us. It’s just...mom is super overbearing, especially with girlfriends. The last one I had that I brought to meet them, mom straight up asked her if she planned to ever have kids and get married after graduating high school.”

(Y/N) covered her mouth to try and stifle the laugh that came out. She had met Susan Heffley a few times in passing when doing homework with Rodrick, and even in the few times she had met Rodrick’s mom, she knew that Rodrick’s story was not an exaggeration.”

“Dad is just boring,” Rodrick continued. “He doesn’t do much besides work and collect figurines. He’ll probably ask you if you’ll talk me out of being in the band and actually doing something with my life.”

(Y/N) leaned into Rodrick again. “I won’t push you. You have your reasonings for not wanting me to meet them, and I understand those reasonings. But, just so you know, they’re not gonna chase me away from you. I’m in this for the long haul, Heffley. You’re stuck with me until you get tired of me.”

Rodrick smiled and kissed (Y/N) again. “I’ll never get tired of you, (Y/L/N).”

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley imagine #rodrick heffley x reader #Devon Bostick #devon bostick imagine #devon bostick x reader #Diary of a Wimpy Kid #diary of a wimpy kid imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[blackspoon99]

The Sign of Three Pt. 2

Sherlock x Female! Reader

TW: Mention of Blood and Near Death, Spoilers to Season 3!

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

You took your seat at the head table and found yourself relieved that you were sat in between Janine and Sherlock. You felt immediate guilt at that thought. Dinner was slightly tense and awkward. Possibly only for you. For the most part, you made small talk with Janine while Sherlock read over his stack of index cards. Little boughs of anxiety kept creeping in the back of your mind as you replayed Sherlock and Janine’s conversation over and over. You peeked over at Sherlock to your right and took a healthy sip of champagne. You decided you would try your best to be present. This day wasn’t about you, after all. Your attention was pulled to the center of the room when a waiter tapped a spoon against a champagne glass.

“Pray silence for the best man”

This was it. You can do it, Sherlock. You watched Sherlock rise from his seat and stiffly fasten one of the buttons on his blazer. He looked unbelievably uncomfortable. You smiled when you noticed Sherlock adjusting the flower you placed in his blazer pocket. The wedding guests applauded and waited for Sherlock to begin.

“Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends ... and ... erm ... others.” Sherlock blinked several times.

“Er ... w...” Another awkward pause. “…Also”

You looked over at John then at Molly and Greg. They wore the same concerned look on their faces.

“Telegrams” John whispered to Sherlock

“Right, uhm…” Sherlock patted the pockets of his blazer and pants then finally noticed them on the table near his place setting. “First things first. Telegrams.” He lifted up the pile and inspected the first one. “Well, they’re not actually telegrams. We just call them telegrams. I don’t know why. Wedding tradition,” Sherlock muttered quickly. “Because we don’t have enough of that already, apparently.”

You saw John narrow his eyes and turn to Mary. You nervously looked down at your hands in your lap. Sherlock read the first note.

“To Mr. and Mrs. Watson. So sorry I’m unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stamford.”

“Oh, Mike,” John said, smiling.

“To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big ...” Sherlock paused and suddenly looked like he had swallowed a lemon. “... big squishy cuddles, from Stella and Ted.” He looked up at the ceiling, blinking repeatedly again. You tried to suppress your laughter. “Mary – lots of love, ...” Yet another pause. “…Poppet” He finished, popping the “t” at the end. Mary snickered.

Sherlock straightened his back and took the next card. “Don’t bugger it up, Sher—” he abruptly cleared his throat and looked straight at you. You tried to hide your laughter. He’d finally gotten to the note you slipped in with the telegrams. Everyone would have heard it was actually quite a nice note if Sherlock had read the entire thing out loud. It read: Don’t bugger it up, Sherlock. Only kidding. You’re doing great. X, y/n.

“Um, special day” Sherlock threw a telegram over his shoulder. “Very special day” He then proceeded to toss each telegram straight behind him. “Love, love, love, love. Bit of a theme – you get the general gist. People are basically fond.” The wedding guests laughed, interpreting it as a joke. Sherlock looked confused, then picked up the other stack of index cards. He began to shuffle through them, clearly trying to find his place.

“Done that. ... Done that ... Done that bit ... Done that bit ... Done that bit ... Hmm ...”

You anxiously looked up at him, feeling the awkward tension in the room.

“I’m afraid, John, I can’t congratulate you.”

Your eyes snapped over to John who looked as shocked as you felt.

“All emotions, and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world.”

You looked around the room at all the wedding guests as some of them began to murmur. Greg and Molly had the same horrified look on their faces. Sherlock continued on.

“Today we honor the death-watch beetle that is the doom of our society and, in time – one feels certain – our entire species.”

You placed your head in your hands. You knew you should have made Sherlock let you read over his speech. You hadn’t wanted to make him feel nervous or like you didn’t trust him.

“But anyway ... let’s talk about John.”

“Yeah, good idea” you hissed up at Sherlock. He ignored you.

“If I burden myself with a little help-mate during my adventures, it is not out of sentiment or caprice – it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me.”

You heard Greg snort across the room. This was going south fast. You couldn’t believe Sherlock was insulting John on his wedding day. He must be spiraling. There had to be something you could do to save this. Fake an emergency, maybe? You could at least buy some time that way.

“Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel.”

Ouch. You tried so hard not to look at Sherlock as you felt your ears burning with embarrassment. You adverted your gaze and focused on not allowing yourself to be hurt by what he’d just said.

Somehow, Sherlock continued. “And contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation ... or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.”

Oh boy. Now Sherlock was going straight to insulting the vicar. The murmuring began to pick up again. You looked over at John, who was now hiding his face in his hands while Mary frowned.

“The point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-around obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet.”

You looked up at Sherlock in genuine surprise.

“I am dismissive of the virtuous ...” He looked to the vicar. “... unaware of the beautiful ...” Your heart stopped when he looked straight at you. Or maybe in your general direction? You looked over your shoulder at Janine, who was smiling. He could have just as easily been looking at her.

Sherlock finally turned to John and Mary “... and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. Certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.”

Just when you’d started to doubt him, Sherlock had surpassed all your expectations. He always managed to surprise you, every time.

“John, I am a ridiculous man ... redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But, as I’m apparently your best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. Actually, now I can.” Sherlock turned to Mary. “Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss... so sorry again about that last one.” John laughed. Sherlock leaned back over to you and winked. You smiled and rolled your eyes.

“So know this: today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.”

You found yourself fighting tears. You were not alone. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John?” Sherlock again looked rather confused. He turned to look at you. “Did I do it wrong?”

“Oh, Sherlock,” you said quietly.

John stood up and pulled Sherlock into a hug. The crowd applauded. “I haven’t finished yet,” Sherlock said as John released him.

“Yes, I know,” said John

“So, on to some funny stories ...” Sherlock attempted to yell over the applause.

“Can you – can you wait ’til I sit down?” John asked.

“So, on to some funny stories about John,” Sherlock continued as the noise died down. “So, for funny stories, one has to look no further than John’s blog.” Sherlock pulled out his phone. “The record of our time together. We’ve tackled some strange cases, some frustrating cases, and ‘touching’ cases. But we want something ... very particular for this special day, don’t we? The Bloody Guardsman.”

You remembered this case. It was only a few weeks ago,

You, John, Mary, and Sherlock sat in the living room of Sherlock’s flat, completely surrounded by lists, items, and menus for the wedding. You’d initially been surprised at Sherlock’s dedication to wedding planning. The back wall above the couch was a perfectly organized record of everything that needed to be done in the next few weeks down to all the potential fonts for the place cards. Sherlock had even created a to-scale model of the reception venue sometime during his fits of mania. You were no psychologist, but if you were you’d say that Sherlock’s meticulous efforts were all in an attempt to force some control into a daunting situation.

John and Mary were seated at the table near the windows looking over the bridesmaids’ dress options. Sherlock stood studying the guest list on the monstrous wall of wedding planning. You were sitting in John’s chair with your legs hanging over one of the arms, flipping through catering menus.

“Need to work on your half of the church, Mary. Looking a bit thin.” Sherlock spoke from across the room.

Mary forced a smile. “Ah, orphan’s lot. Friends – that’s all I have. Lots of friends.”

You didn’t know anything about Mary’s family except that for unknown reasons, she didn’t have one. She kept her cards so close to the vest, you doubted John knew anything either. “And your friends adore you, Mary,” you said, attempting to cheer her up.

“Schedule the organ music to begin at precisely 11:48,” Sherlock spoke over you. “Sherlock,” you groaned. He didn’t turn around from the wall and continued to fiddle with the clippings.

“Or maybe 11:55, with allowed time for delays,”

“Sherlock,” you tried again. “The rehearsal’s not for another two weeks. Just calm down”

He whipped around to face you. “Calm? I am calm. I’m extremely calm.”

“Yes, I can see that,” you said sarcastically, noting the wild look in his eyes.

“Let’s get back to the reception, come on,” Mary said from across the room, diffusing the tension. “John’s cousin. Top table?”

Sherlock rose to join John and Mary at the table. “Hmm. Hates you. Can’t even bear to think about you.”

You rolled your eyes. You tossed the catering menus to the side and walked over to the table to look over Mary’s shoulder.

“Seriously?” Mary asked, shocked

“Second class post, cheap card bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp: three attempts at licking. She’s obviously unconsciously retaining saliva.”

“Don’t worry Mary, I’ve met her and she’s the worst. Let’s stick her by the bogs,” you interjected.

“Oh yes,” Mary agreed.

“Pretending I didn’t hear that,” John said, looking down at his phone.

“Who else hates me?” Mary asked Sherlock. He turned around and handed her a handwritten list. “Oh great – thanks,” Mary said unenthusiastically.

“Priceless painting nicked. Looks interesting,” John announced. He’d been looking through inquiries for cases on the blog. It was only a little annoying that he wasn’t helping. “How about this: ‘My husband is three people’? It’s interesting. Says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin.”

“Identical triplets – one in half a million births. Solved it without leaving the flat. Now, serviettes.” Sherlock bent down and pulled a tray out from under the coffee table that had two different elaborately folded napkins. “Swan or Sydney Opera House?”

“Wow…” you said flatly. He’s lost it. You bit your lip in concern and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Where’d you learn to do that?!” Mary asked, impressed.

“Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation ...”

“You’re lying, Sherlock,” you said, teasing.

“I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of ...”

“Sherlock, out with it.” You pressed him further.

“Okay – I learned it on YouTube.”

“Well then, Sydney Opera House, please,” Mary said with a smile.

You turned away, thinking. “Hey, Mary? Can I show you what I was thinking for my bridesmaid dress?”

“Uh, sure,” She replied.

“Great!” you said and grabbed her wrist. You pulled her into the kitchen and closed the door. “Mary, we have to do the thing. Right now.”

“Are you sure, he seems okay-ish?” She said skeptically.

“Okay-ish?! Mary, he’s watching YouTube videos on napkin folding. He’s terrified.”

“Right. You’re right. Okay, you speak with Sherlock while I get John.”

You opened the doors to the living room to see Sherlock sitting on the floor, surrounded by at least 15 napkins folded in the opera house shape.

“That just sort of ... happened,” he said dropping his hands to his side.

“Did you just do that now?” John asked, finally looking up from his phone.

“Okay. John?” Mary started. “I’m about to give Beth a call, she’ll want to talk to you as well.” Mary held her phone up and gestured to the kitchen.

“Oh Beth, that’s right. We’ve been meaning to call her.” John got up and followed her.

You walked over to Sherlock and took a seat on the floor next to him. He reached under the table for more napkins, but you caught his hand and shook your head.

“I think we have enough for now. I actually need to talk to you about something, Sherlock. I’m worried about John.” He looked over at you, listening intently. You lowered your voice and inched closer. “I think all the wedding planning is getting to him. He needs to get out for a bit, I can tell.” Sherlock nodded along with you. “I can’t say anything because he won’t listen to me. He’s just going to think I’m worrying too much. Could you please find him a case, any case? For me?”  

“Yes, yes, of course. You can count on me.” Sherlock whispered. He stood up and carefully smoothed out his suit. John walked back into the room. You got up and silently joined Mary into the kitchen. A few moments later, Sherlock and John walked into the kitchen.

“Er, we’re just going to ... I need, um, Sherlock to help me choose some, er, socks.” John awkwardly fumbled over his words.

“Ties,” Sherlock interjected.

“Let’s go with socks,” Mary said.

“Could be a while,” John said. “We’ve got to make sure they match my—”

“Tie” Sherlock interrupted. John looked back at him, exasperated.

“My coat in there?” John cleared his throat. Mary nodded and John turned the corner. Sherlock leaned in and lowered his voice.

“Just going to take him out for a bit – run him.”

“Good work, Sherlock,” you said with a smile. Sherlock winked at you and walked out of the door. When they were out of sight, you turned to Mary.

“Do you fancy a drink?”

“Let’s go,” She replied.

That had been the end of your involvement in the case of the Bloody Guardsman. You had heard the rest of the story from John. Sherlock hadn’t particularly felt like sharing. Probably because he never solved it. You listened to Sherlock lay out his chosen details in his speech all the way up to Sherlock and John finding Stephen Bainbridge bleeding out in a shower in the barracks.

“Private Bainbridge had just come off guard duty. He’d stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, nothing apparently wrong. He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead from a wound in his stomach, but there was no weapon. Where did it go? Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this: a murderer who can walk through walls, a weapon that can vanish – but in all of this, there is only one element which can be said to be truly remarkable. Would anyone like to make a guess?”

You rolled your eyes. Of course, Sherlock was challenging people to solve a case on the spot that he didn’t even figure out himself. You pitied whoever he chose to humiliate.

“Scotland Yard.” Greg looked up from his drink. “Have you got a theory?” Greg stared blankly at Sherlock. “Yeah, you. You’re a detective – broadly speaking. Got a theory?”

This was going to be bad.

“Er, um, if the, uh, if the if-if-if, if the blade was, er, propelled through the, um ... grating in the air vent ... maybe a-a ballista or a – or a – or a catapult. Erm, somebody tiny could … could crawl in there.” Molly cringed. “So, yeah, we’re loo... we’re looking for a-a-a-a dwarf.”

“Brilliant,” said Sherlock

“Really?” Greg replied immediately

“No,” Sherlock said coldly. Ruthless. Greg lowered his head back into his drink. Across the room, you saw Tom whispering something into Molly’s ear.

“Hello? Who was that?” Sherlock asked and looked around the room before settling on Tom. “Tom. Got a theory?” Tom slowly stood up across the room.

Poor Tom looked uneasy. He shifted around for a bit before reluctantly giving his opinion. “Um ... attempted suicide, with a blade made of compacted blood and bone that broke after piercing his abdomen ... like a meat ... dagger.”

Molly wore a look of uncomprehending embarrassment. You looked to Sherlock. He had a look on his face that was a strange mix of smugness and disbelief. “A meat dagger.” He stated.

“Yes,” Tom said, awkwardly.

“Sit down.” Molly hissed. She reached up and yanked Tom down to his seat by his sleeve.

“No,” said Sherlock plainly. “There was one feature, and only one feature, of interest in the whole of this baffling case, and quite frankly it was the usual. John Watson: who, while I was trying to solve the murder, instead saved a life.”

You smiled at John’s proud expression. So that was the point of Sherlock’s roundabout story. It surprised you because when they’d initially came home that day, all Sherlock could focus on was how the attempted murderer did it and why he couldn’t figure it out. It was nice to see he had developed a new perspective.

“The case itself remains the most ingenious and brilliantly-planned murder – or attempted murder – I’ve ever had the pleasure to encounter; the most perfect locked-room mystery of which I am aware. However, I’m not just here to praise John – I’m also here to embarrass him, so let’s move on to some ...”

“No-no, wait, so how was it ... how was it done?” Lestrade interrupted.

Now Sherlock would have to admit he didn’t solve the case. You smirked. That’s what you get for insisting on embarrassing Greg and Tom.  

“How was what done?” Sherlock asked, attempting to deflect

“The stabbing,” Lestrade clarified.

Sherlock looked down for a moment, then reluctantly continued. “I’m afraid I don’t know. I didn’t solve that one. That’s ... It can happen sometimes. It’s very ... very disappointing.” He looked down for a moment as if contemplating then continued. “Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night.”

A/N: So sorry this is so late! I haven’t forgotten about this series, I promise! I just moved into a new apartment in college and it’s already been nuts!

taglist: @the-chaotic-cow @amoeebaa @sad-bitch-h0ur @scorpios-echos

If you want to be added to the taglist for future updates, go like the post I made earlier about it!

#bbc sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #Sherlock #sherlock imagine #sherlockxreader #sherlock x reader #sherlock holmes x you #Sherlock Holmes x Reader #sherlock x you #sherlock x y/n #the sign of three #bbc sherlock x reader #bbc sherlock x you

[ill-skillsgard]

Blue and Yellow - Part 8 - Axel Cluney

Warning: 18+ sex/mature themes/strong language/medical themes/mentions of blood+injuries/hospitals/violence/drug and alcohol use **In this part: drug and alcohol use, violence, mentions of blood, violence/assault, mentions of alcoholism, smut**

Description: Saberrah Asta, Featherfall General’s newest nurse, finds herself entangled in the complicated life of an underground boxer with a slew of problems she can’t fix. Will Axel’s love knock out the voices telling her to run, or will their explosive romance fizzle as fast as it flourished?

Note: Thanks to everyone who continues to enjoy this series and reblogs the chapters as they come out. I really, really appreciate your support. If you can’t reblog, consider dropping a like and a comment... It really makes me happy and lets me know I’m not wasting my time posting on this website. I hope you enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

In the ruddy glow of the UV lights, eyes stuck on a woman twirling around a powdered pole. She started the show wearing a yellow underbust corset, a ruffled skirt and a matching bikini top. The music came on, and the corset flew off with it as she sidled up to the chrome pole and arched her back until her crown touched the floor. Sabi watched the sweat drip from a man's forehead onto the edge of the stage. The dancer rolled over the droplet, absorbing the perspiration, and continued bending her body into impressive shapes.

Not all eyes focused on the yellow-clad exotic dancer commanding the stage with her long legs, nine-inch stiletto boots and stiff, blond wig. Some eyes were on the girls swapping empty cups for full ones, some on the women grinding on laps, and one set scanned the floor for lost money. One of the first things Sabi noticed about the strip club—other than its low, dark, and claustrophobic ceiling and walls—was that the carpeting around the stage littered with dollar coins. They glinted under the disco lights and beckoned her pick them up. She'd asked Axel why there were so many toonies on the floor, and he told her it was because people weren't allowed to tip with coins, and since the lowest notes were shiny fivers, the dancers often came away with a day's worth of money in two songs' time if their patrons were generous.

Sabi collected the coins, stored them in the pockets of her scrubs and until she swapped them for gin and tonics.

Arty sat on the other side of a horseshoe-shaped table, gawking up at the dancers like a boy witnessing his first Christmas tree. Only between songs did he shut his mouth and make his way over to his cousin to ask, "did you see that? Did you see her? I think she likes me. Think I should buy a dance from her?"

Axel spread out his hand and waited for Sabi to take hold. When she did, Axel pulled her from her seat and asked for a cigarette since his pack had run out on the trip to Nikki's. They went outside and stood under a neon sign of a buxom woman riding a sausage in cowboy boots. The sign flashed, and the large-breasted rider's hat came off. Axel lit his cigarette first and swapped it with Sabi's dry one.

Sabi looked around the lot, then back at Axel, who leaned against the brick wall, blowing smoke rings into the night air under the deep red glow. The weed had worn off during the ride up and left a residual sleepiness Sabi continued to chase off by flexing her toes and noticing how plain she looked, still dressed in her hospital scrubs.

"So, why do you guys call it Sticky Nikki's?" Sabi asked.

Axel's mouth tilted to one side, smiling as he exhaled. "Most people say it's because the dancers here don't shower, but it's really because of the bathrooms."

Sabi's full bladder clenched. "What about them?"

"Every surface of the bathrooms besides the toilet seats are covered with oil."

She contorted her top lip in disgust. "Um, why?"

"So people don't do coke in there."

"I don't understand."

"You can't bust lines on a greasy surface. The coke will stick and clump up. They've been raided before, so I guess they took that route. Now people just do coke in the VIP booths or in their cars."

"Wow, that's very... Innovative?"

A yellow Firebird chugged into a parking space across the lot, headlights closing before the engine cut. The vehicle caught Axel's attention, and he threw his half-smoked cigarette on the ground to stamp it out.

"Come on. Let's get back inside—"

"AXEL?"

"Oh, fuck."

"Axel! Hellooo!"

The driver stepped out of the Firebird onto the asphalt in strappy silver heels coiling up her naked shins and thighs. Her matching dress ended at her hips, revealing a small triangle of silver between her legs as she walked and urged the dress down. The unforgiving material slid back up as she trotted toward Axel and Sabi, bangles, necklace and dangling earrings jingling as she went. The woman wore a bright pink, faux fur bolero around her shoulders with her silvery hair piled high on her head. Sabi noticed large, pierced nipples straining through the Mylar dish towel of a dress and an illegible tattoo seated between her breasts.

"Oh, Bluebear! C'mere handsome! Give me a hug right now!" The thin, knobby woman threw her torso at Axel, knocking him into the brick wall. He returned a brief hug and dropped his arms, but the woman clung to him and kissed his cheek. She clutched his face and peppered his jawline with kisses. "Oh my God, I can't believe you're here! Did you come just to see me?"

Axel chuckled nervously and pushed her off with two hands on her fur-lined shoulders. The woman ignored Sabi and continued trying to land kisses on Axel's face and hands.

"Marley, calm down, Jesus," Axel said.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe you're here. I've been thinking about you. You never call?"

"Busy. Always busy."

"Apparently not too busy to be here."

Axel nodded to his left, where Sabi stood, stunned. "You can thank her and Arty for dragging me out."

Marley gave Sabi a quick glance, then turned her attention on Axel with a broad smile full of crooked teeth. "Are you gonna watch me dance tonight?"

"No, Marley. That's weird."

"Oh, come on, Bluey! We're not related anymore since Greg and Juney divorced," she giggled. "I'm fair game."

Sabi fluttered her lashes and scoffed. "Excuse me, Marley, is it?"

"Yeah?"

"Take your fucking hands off my boyfriend."

Marley stepped back, one heel wobbling on a loose stone. Axel pressed himself flat to the wall. The vicious edge of Sabi's voice cut through the din of music filtering from the inside, leaving the three of them in strained silence. Sabi took one last puff of her cigarette and flicked it at the dancer's feet. Her last few drinks curdled her blood and pumped her chest full of adrenaline.

"Damn, you're a feisty one," said Marley with a scoff. "Axe, are you just gonna let her talk to me like that?"

Axel nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I am. You should go inside, Marley... Before you catch hands."

"And a cold," Sabi spat, ridiculing the woman's outfit with a furrowed brow and blazing eyes.

"Wow, that's fucking rude. Can't believe you, Blue."

The front door swung open, and Arty came stumbling out with another couple of friends who'd driven up to the strip club with them. In his drunken haze, Arty missed the tension and gasped at Marley.

"Mar-Mar!" He approached her with his thick arms akimbo. Marley ducked away from the large man's embrace. "What's the matter?"

"Blue's girlfriend is the matter."

Sabi clenched her fists as the cousins murmured in surround sound. Axel caught Sabi's arm and tugged her back into the club as she twisted her neck, eyes sweltering on the blond woman. Once inside and clear of the entrance, Axel spun her to face him.

"Easy, Saberrah. Easy. Deep breath."

Instead of inhaling, Sabi launched herself at his chest, poking his sternum with a stiff finger. "I'll gouge that bitch's eyes out, Axel. I promise you!"

"No, no, no," he shook his head. "Don't. I know you're pissed, but you can't let her get to you. That's just Marley for ya. She's a dumbass."

"She's gonna be a dead dumbass!"

Axel smothered Sabi in his arms, brushed his fingers through her hair and shushed her until she stopped struggling. "Don't fucking start a fight at Sticky Nikki's, babe. You don't want to be that person."

The multi-coloured lights shifted along the walls and floor, illuminating the couple as Axel held Sabi's head in place between his hands. He ducked to kiss her in hopes some affection might disperse her anger, but it only fanned the flame.

"Who the fuck does she think she is walking up and practically making out with you? Like what the fuck is that, Axel? Have you fucked her before? Why did she do that?"

"What the fuck, Sabi? Of course, I haven't fucked my fucking cousin."

"She sure acts like there's a fucking chance!"

The bouncer at the door caught wind of the heated exchange unfolding between the bar and the tables. He snapped his thick fingers at Axel.

"Take it outside, man!"

Axel nodded, gave a courteous wave to the bouncer, and guided Sabi to a darker corner. "Babe, come on. It's done."

"No, this was a mistake. I shouldn't have let you get me drunk. We're broken up. I shouldn't even be here with you. Look what I'm wearing, Axel. This is fucking ridiculous."

Desperate terror broke Axel's composure, and he gathered her in his arms, clamping her shoulders. "Don't fucking say that. We're not broken up. Please, Sabi, don't do this to me again. I thought we were cool?"

"No, we're not fucking cool! You're a goddamn liar, and your stupid family are a bunch of fucking lunatics!"

"I know they are, I know, but please, God, just don't fucking do this, Sab. We're together. I'm here. I won't ever lie to you again, I swear on my mother's life. Can we please just forget about this and go home? Let's go home, babe."

"Why are you like this?" Sabi moaned. Her head spun, senses awash in cheap beer and liquor, anxiety mounting. She begrudged her furious outburst, but it wouldn't subside no matter how loud her inner reason screamed out to stop. "Why did I ever get involved with you?"

"Sabi, Sabi, please," Axel's tone flattened into a serious line. Sobered and despairing, Axel bent at the knees to meet her eyes, hands squeezing her arms. "Baby, I love you. I love you. Don't talk like that. Jesus, I've never loved anyone in my fucking life the way I love you. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, but please, don't do this to me again. You're just drunk, babe. Come on, we'll go home and sleep it off."

A bubble burst in Sabi's throat, and she whimpered. Close to tears, she buried her face in his chest and threw her arms around him. Axel melted into the embrace. He squeezed his eyes shut and hugged her in the UV light, white tank top glowing pale blue.

Sabi mumbled incoherently until Axel pulled away and asked what she said. She sniffled and wiped her nose, muttering, "I love you, too. I love you so much, and I hate it."

The bouncer kept eyes on the arguing couple until yelling from outside the club took priority. As the stage lights dimmed and the flaring shower of red and blue sprayed the stage, Axel took Sabi's hand and led her to a row of curtained booths. He pushed her through a heavy flap into a cubicle with a C-shaped couch and a small television on a shelf displaying a feed of the stage. To the right, on a small ledge, was an empty cup containing a few torn condom wrappers. Potlights behind the red leather sofa soaked the space and reflected off the mirrors on the ceiling and floor. Sabi chuffed as Axel pulled her close and kissed her.

"This place is disgusting, Axel."

"I fucking told you! But you wanted to come. We could have gone home and cuddled and went to bed, but you wanted to go out."

"I haven't partied in a long time. Thought it would be nice to do something fun."

"Strip clubs aren't my idea of fun," Axel said.

"What? You don't like tits in your face? Looks like the last ones in here had a great time," Sabi indicated the square foil packets in the plastic cup.

Axel sat on the lumpy cushions and pulled Sabi onto his lap. "The only tits I want in my face are yours."

"But mine aren't huge like theirs."

"You mean they're not pumped full of silicone? Oh, no," Axel rolled his eyes.

"Did you mean that?" Sabi sniffled. "Do you really love me?"

Axel stared up at her with his arms around her waist, eyes blasted open and shining as his bottom lip wobbled. "Sab... I've never loved anyone. Up until we met, I didn't think it was possible. I thought maybe I was fucked up and emotionally damaged. Maybe I saw my parents hate each other so hard, it ruined any chance of me wanting a relationship. And I'm sorry my family is so fucked up. I'm trying hard not to be like them. I've always wanted to do better, and then I met you, and everything changed. I love you."

Thunder rolled through Sabi's skull. The alcohol fuzz and adrenaline receded, exposing an agitated sore through the air of Axel's confession. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him. Axel returned the motion with a tilt of his head and two roaming hands. He hoped he was in the clear, that Sabi wouldn't turn around and chastise him or claim they weren't together. The unburdening of truth left his chest empty but warm. Axel had practiced his speech in several forms, never once thinking he'd deliver it to Sabi in the VIP booth of a strip club after she threatened to kill one of his cousins.

"Please, Axe, please... Don't lie to me ever again. I want you to tell me the truth about everything. You can't sit here and tell me you love me if you intend to lie again."

"I won't lie. I swear. You're everything to me, babe. Just stay with me. Don't say we're not together... I can't stand the sound of that."

"We are together," Sabi said, pressing her forehead to his. "We're together."

"Thank you," he whispered against her lips.

They stayed in the booth, kissing and holding each other while Aerosmith, Motley Crue and Whitesnake played over the PA system. Sequestered from their group, the couple talked shit about Axel's cousins and poked fun at themselves for indulging the white trash rhapsody they so often condemned. Sabi fought off her sleepiness by teasing Axel until he couldn't stand her grinding and whispers. Still, her intoxication erased all bashfulness, and she climbed off his lap to dance for him when Cherry Pie by Warrant blasted over the sound system.

"Oh, nurse, are you gonna make me feel better?" Axel asked.

"My routine is all method. Nurse by day, slut by night," Sabi giggled.

"I like that. You should get up on that stage and shake that sweet booty. Show those girls what it's all about."

Sabi whirled around, cheeks prickling red. "No way. I'm not dancing in front of those gross old dudes and your cousins."

Axel chuckled until he sighed. "Speaking of my stupid-ass cousins... We should probably find them. I'm about ready to split from this festering anal scab. What do you think?"

"It would be nice to get out of these scrubs. I feel like a total nerd."

"You wear it well, babe. Real well."

The two left the booth, skirted the tables and found Arty engaged in conversation with Jack, another one of their cousins, at the opposite corner of the club. For once, Arty wasn't gawping at the dancers but motoring through an explanation until he caught sight of Axel and Sabi. He slammed his fist on the table, startling Jack and sloshing beer over the plastic cups.

"There you fucking are! Christ, I was looking all over for you! Thought you left until I saw the Monte still in the lot. Where the fuck have you been?"

"We were just talking."

"Marley's pissed. Said she's gonna have the guys throw you both out."

Axel jeered. "Yeah, whatever. Marley's a fucking cunt, and we're about ready to take off anyway."

"Hey, I got a little something, Axe. Wanna pitch on this gram?"

Sabi cocked her head until Arty flashed a small vial he'd been holding in his meaty palm. She looked to Axel, then back at Arty, who pumped his eyebrows. Jack, their younger, skinnier and quieter cousin, hid a grin behind a crudely tattooed fist. It clicked then that the two had already partaken, and the full effects motored through their mouths and tapping feet.

"Man, fuck that shit," Axel said.

Sabi's heart raced. She'd never seen cocaine before, and the thought of Axel snorting drugs filled her with an itchy sensation that wasn't as worrisome as she thought. Memories of overdose patients riddled her brain, drowned only by the glamour and taboo of the powder in Arty's hand. She pinched the inside of her cheek between her teeth and looked up at Axel, squeezing his hand.

"What? You wanna do some?" He asked in a lowered voice.

"I don't know," Sabi shrugged. "I've never tried it before."

"It's really not that great."

"Well..."

"Come on, Blue."

Axel let out a hiss of air. "You only want me to so I'll pitch on it."

"Nah, you don't have to. My treat," said Arty. "You don't owe me for the 'dro either. You guys said you wanted to party, so let's fucking party."

Inside the Monte Carlo, Arty and Jack took the backseats, and Sabi sat upfront while Axel dipped his house key into the vial. Arty and Jack had already tipped a pinch onto the backs of their hands and shot it up their nostrils with ease, roiling their noses around and sniffling as the substance absorbed. The key came out with a small white peak and soon disappeared up Axel's right nostril. He sat back, eyes wide as he sniffled and cleared his throat, blinking wildly until he smiled and looked back at his cousins.

"Jesus."

"Right? It's good blow. None of that fenny bullshit. Don't worry, we already tested it."

Jack tapped the fanny pack around his waist. "Naloxone, just in case. Playin' it smart after Tracy."

Arty sighed, "rest in peace."

Sabi's palms and feet moistened as Axel dipped the key in the vial again and came up with a much smaller amount of powder. He twisted in the seat and handed the vial to Arty. "Ready?"

"Um... I don't really know what to do," said Sabi.

"Here," Axel pressed her left nostril shut with the tip of his middle finger. "When I say so, inhale like you're trying to hawk a loogie."

Sabi made a look of disgust until Axel brought the edge of the key to her nose.

"Okay, go."

Powder shot into her nasal cavity, coating the walls and setting off her salivary glands. After a few seconds, she felt her nose dripping and sucked the fluid back until her throat went numb. She hauled the mucus into her mouth and swallowed, then ran her tongue over her teeth and gums, feeling nothing.

"Did I do it right?" She asked as her eyelids drew back, and the lethargy gave way to an intense rush of energy.

Axel and his cousins tittered. "Yeah, babe. You did it right."

"Am I supposed to feel like my head is numb?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Jack. "Funny feeling at first, but you'll get used to that. It goes away pretty soon."

Axel shook his head. "Nah, there's nothing to get used to. This is a one-time thing. Just for shits and giggles, okay?"

"Okay," said Sabi as Axel grabbed her hand and squeezed.

In minutes, Sabi's top row of teeth pressed down. Her heart thumped in her chest like a spastic drum, and a sudden urge to kiss Axel overcame her. She leaned forward and crushed her mouth to his, only pulling back when a worried grunt left Arty's throat.

Ahead of the car, a muscular man wearing a braided mohawk stomped out of the club with Marley in tow. The blond pointed directly at the Monte Carlo as another pair of men followed out the door. The one with the mohawk clenched his fists and stomped toward the car, snarling viciously. He rose the hammer of his fist and brought it down in the hood of Axel's prized ride.

"I don't fucking think so," Axel said. "Arty, Jack!"

Arty opened the door and was halfway on the pavement when Axel shot out.

"Yo, what the fuck, man?" Axel yelled.

"You piece of shit! Get the fuck out of here, you pussy bitch!" Marley screeched. "And take your ugly slob of a girlfriend with you!"

Sabi choked on her battering pulse as Axel widened his stance, opening his arms in invitation. Axel chuckled at his assailant, which only toughened the menace on his face.

Axel taunted him. "Come on, cocksucker. I dare you to take your shot. I'll give you one good one, then I'll fuck your shit up so bad your crackhead mom won't recognize you,"

"Get him, Brian!"

"You're making a big fucking mistake. That's the Cobra, ya fuckin' idiot. He's a pro boxer! Like, you're gonna die, dude!" Arty laughed.

"Fuck off, Arty!" Marley stepped up to her cousin but met a wall.

"Why don't you go back inside and suck some meth-head cock for rent? Ya fuckin' slut."

The people gathering around reminded Sabi of Axel's illegal basement fight. Their taunting and jeers sounded just like the rousing of the crowd. Axel bounced on his toes, beckoning the guy with a cocky smirk plastered on his face. "Come on. Hit me, pussy. I want you to!"

Arty wrestled with Marley until the man took a swing at Axel's face. The boxer dodged the punch and reciprocated as fast as a jolt of lightning, throwing a hook that sent him stumbling backward. A stream of blood burst from his nose. With his fists up, Axel cackled and shifted back and forth, throwing jabs to the air.

"Aw, fuck yeah! Come on, pussy! Let's see if you can land one on me!" He stood still and tapped his cheek. "Right here, motherfucker."

"Fuck him up, Blue!"

Sabi had enough. Her limbs tingled while she got out of the car and took a running start at Marley, who was yelling for her protector to hit Axel. She wound her arm, closed her eyes and thrust forth in a blind fury. When she opened her eyes, Marley had toppled onto her ass, screaming and clutching her face. Her accomplices froze, and the lot went quiet for a breath. Then the doors flew open, and 3 security guards ran out. Sabi scrambled back into the car, chugging air and shaking. She stared at her quaking hands and saw blood on her knuckles. By the time the security made it to the vehicle, Axel had jumped in and locked the doors.

"Holy shit, babe. Holy shit!"

The bouncer who had yelled at them earlier to take their arguing elsewhere banged on Axel's window.

"Out of the car, motherfucker!"

Axel threw up his hands in a shrug. "No can do, muchacho!"

He turned on the engine, throwing light over the group. One guard smacked the hood while the others gathered around Marley to help her stand.

"Oh, Jesus, Axe. What if I broke her nose?"

"I hope you did. Now, let's get the fuck outta here."

Axel revved the engine, threatening to pull forward despite the human barricade in front of the car. He laid on the horn, deafening the yelling into inaudible chaos, then revved again. Pulling forth an inch, the guards and screaming members of the Cluney family dispersed, and once the way was clear, Axel peeled out of the parking lot and sped onto the road toward the city.

 The couple hollered and laughed, speeding down the country line. On the crest of a hill, Axel spotted flashing lights in the distance. He slowed the car and held his breath while Sabi squeezed his thigh. He pulled to the shoulder and waited for the police cruiser to pass. Axel watched in the rearview, then twisted around until the lights disappeared. They both let out heavy sighs of relief.

"Christ Almighty... That was fucking insane."

Sabi held up her quivering hands. "I... I can't believe I did that. Axel, I punched your cousin in the face!"

"You punched through her face. Through it. Fuck! I've never seen a girl rock someone that goddamn hard in my life. It was like... All slow motion for a second. Everyone just stopped."

"Oh my God... Am I gonna go to jail?"

Axel tossed his head back with laughter, clapping Sabi's thigh. "No, babe. You're not going to jail."

"What about your cousins? What if they tell the cops I assaulted her?"

"They got no proof. Well, except the epic shiner Marley's gonna have. But it's Sticky's. Nobody cares if some stripper gets popped in the mug. Happens all the time. It's par for the course, baby. Don't worry."

"Fuck, I think I get why you fight now. I feel so gangster."

"That was so hot, Sab. Not gonna lie. I'm totally switched on."

"Me too."

"I'm not kidding. Look," Axel nodded at his erection pressing against his jeans.

The Monte Carlo slowed over a rocky strip, chucking pebbles and dirt into the stream of the headlights. Axel eased the machine to a stop beside a line of pine trees, hidden from the road going South but exposed to the North. He didn't care. Not when Sabi had her hand buried in his pants, toying with his cock. A moment after he cut the engine, Axel whipped off his seatbelt and chased Sabi to the backseat where the stick shift didn't obscure their reach for each other. Once comfortably splayed on the seat, she tore open his jeans while he lifted his hips. His chucks were another roadblock easily vanquished in their haste to undress. Axel kept his tank top on, lifted Sabi's over her breasts, and pulled down her bra to suck her nipples into his mouth.

"Axe, don't come inside me."

"I won't, baby."

He slipped inside of her, senses heightened by the drugs and adrenaline still raging through his veins. The sensation of her wetness wringing true around his length made him shiver and burn.

"Fucking you without a condom is so much better. Christ, I don't believe what I've been missing."

Axel propped her on his groin, one foot behind either seat as he sank low enough to thrust without bumping her head on the roof of the car. A moan burst from his mouth. He rested his palms on her hips and let his eyes roll from the pleasure of the slick sounds, the wetness coating his length, her dew clinging to his pubic hair.

"Love it when you ride me. God, you have no idea how good that feels, baby."

Despite his claims, Axel lifted Sabi and placed her on her back so he could deliver several harsh thrusts. The cocaine seated his teeth together, imbued him with enough stamina to rock until the car joined in with the momentum. Desensitized, Axel continued the motion, hovering inches above her, pressing kisses to her lips and cheeks.

"Do you love me?"

Sabi stared at the man above her, plunging into her, squeezing her breasts and burying his face between them. Some gelled pieces of his hair fell out of place until she smoothed her palm over his crown.

"Yes... I love you, Axel."

"You sure?" He grunted.

"I'm positive."

"Even though I'm trash? Even though you're better than me?"

"I'm not better than you. What are you saying?"

"Yes, you are. You're perfect. I never wanna lose you. Please, don't say you love me unless you really mean it. Unless you can't live without me."

"I don't want to be without you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Promise you'll love me no matter what."

Sabi giggled as though Axel made a joke. He stopped thrusting, laid his head on her chest and took a deep breath of her sweat and perfume. "I'm for real, Sabberah. Don't leave me again."

"I won't," she said in a small voice. "I love you, Axe. Why do you think I'm here?"

"'Cause, we're drunk and on drugs. I'm afraid you'll wake up sober tomorrow and realize you made a mistake."

Sabi propped her upper body on her elbows and clicked her tongue. "Don't give me a reason to feel like I made a mistake then."

"I won't. I won't, baby, I promise."

"Okay. Good. Now shut up and fuck me hard, you bad, bad man."

~*~

The sky was a gradient of royal blue and violet, crisping along the edge of the horizon when the couple untangled and drove into town. Rundown and exhausted from the night's events, they agreed on a local eatery called Ronnie's Poutine Palace for a needed meal. They wandered into the tiny restaurant and avoided the old man staring at them from the corner behind a newspaper. Sabi felt the grease clinging to her scalp, the sleep pulling her eyes, and the vapour from the grills only made it worse.

The restaurant seemed built into a wide hallway with only a few tables and a flaking mural of a chef caricature holding a dripping plate of fries and gravy. Underneath the cartoon chef, the wall advertised forty different kinds of poutine ranging from classic to mixtures that made Sabi's stomach gurgle unpleasantly. They served all-day breakfast and homemade Pogos and pastries. That morning, the pastry case was bereft of any of the advertised eclairs and cupcakes.

A young, gap-toothed girl came to take their order. Axel requested two coffees, a breakfast poutine and then turned to Sabi with shaded eyes. "What do you want, babe?"

"I'll have the French toast," Sabi said.

"Would you like any powdered sugar or strawberries? They're fresh. Just picked them from Cate's Farm yesterday."

Sabi nodded. "Sold. Uh, hold the sugar, though. Just berries. And maple syrup, please, if you have it."

"Of course."

Axel pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and instructed the girl to keep the change, then added a few dollars to the tip jar. Sabi rooted around in her pockets and found a sticky toonie to add.

"That's nice of you," Sabi commented.

"This place has cured some major hangovers in my day. I owe them my life."

The girl at the counter nodded. "We're open twenty-four hours and deliver all night. This city runs on our poutine."

Axel smiled, wheeling Sabi to a table near the front window.

They dug into their food when it arrived, Axel hacking the fried egg in half, so the yolk spilled over a pile of the greasiest fries Sabi had ever seen. She grimaced as he poked half a breakfast link in his mouth.

"Why not just have breakfast? Why taint perfectly good poutine?" Sabi asked.

"Because you don't just go to Ronnie's and not get poutine. Look at the size of this thing, and for eight bucks? Come on. You can't beat that."

Sabi prodded a heart-shaped strawberry with the tines of her fork and swirled it in a ramekin of syrup before eating it. Axel pointed at the stack of fried bread.

"Now that's gross. I don't know how you can stomach sugar right now. I'd barf."

"French toast is the tits. Don't hate."

"Yeah, but strawberries in syrup? You're weird, kid."

"You're weird. That yolk is all mixed in with the gravy. And the cheese. It's like slime."

Axel made a purposeful slurping sound, grating her nerves. She scrunched her nose and turned away to chew a mouthful of toast without the imagery.

They sipped coffee and ate as much as their stomachs could handle. Sabi blew her nose into a napkin and paled at the white snot. She sniffed the dried, flaky remnants of coke clinging to her nose hairs and smothered a sneeze with the back of her hand. "God, I feel like ass."

"Well, you look great."

Sabi looked down at her wrinkled work uniform. "I've been wearing the same outfit for a full twenty-four hours. How can you even say that?"

"'Cause I love ya."

"Stop," she angled her face.

"What? I don't care what you're wearing, and neither does anyone else. You look cute. Little rough, but we had a long night, didn't we Muhammed Ali?"

"Don't remind me."

Axel put down his fork and wiped his face with a napkin. "Hey, listen. Speaking of that... I wanted to talk to you about... The boxing."

"I'm not becoming a professional boxer, Axel. I already told you."

"No, not that. I mean, I wanna talk about my situation."

"Oh," Sabi chirped.

Axel took in a monumental breath, laid his hands flat on the table and gazed into her eyes until he was sure he had her attention. "I want to be honest with you and say I have no intention of stopping right now. I have a few more fights—"

"Wait, Axel, before you say anything, I have something to tell you as well. That night when I broke up with you for lying to me... I was at the fight. I watched you beat that guy."

"What? You're serious?"

"Yeah. I went out to the corner store for snacks and passed the gym you said you work at, but it was closed. I thought maybe you lied and had gone somewhere else. Maybe to another girl's place or something."

"Sabi, no."

"That's just what I thought. I know you wouldn't cheat on me. Anyway, I went around back, and some guy asked if I wanted to come in for the fight. It all just clicked in at that point. So, I went down there."

"Christ," Axel pinched between his eyebrows. "I don't want you around those maniacs."

Sabi pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled through a few pictures until she found the flyer she'd found on the street with Axel's face on it. She held up the screen for him to see.

"What about this? This looks legitimate. You said you don't fight professionally anymore, but why not? You could be something if you tried."

Axel shook his head. "That was a while back."

"So, what? You can do what you love, Axel. Nothing's stopping you."

"Plenty is stopping me, Sab."

"Like what?"

"Like money."

"What do you mean?"

Axel pointed at her phone, grimacing. "See, that fight earned me three-hundred bucks. Do you know how much that fight at Vince's got me?"

"No."

"Three thousand."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and that was on the lower end of the scale. Three thousand for three minutes in the ring."

"But what good is that money if you get busted?"

Axel snickered and stuck out his hand for her to take. "Babe... There's a lot about Featherfall you don't know yet. We don't get busted. Half those bets were cops, lawyers, and shit. Bikers."

"Doctors?" Asked Sabi.

"That's another thing,” Axel said. “Farber... You obviously know him from work."

"I do."

"I don't want you tangled in that life, and Farber won't want one of his subordinates knowing his business."

"Little too late for that," Sabi muttered.

"I'm serious, Sab. Some of those guys are real dangerous."

Sabi leered. "Rufus Farber?"

"Maybe not him on his own, but you don't know the types he runs with."

"Well, I know you, don't I? Are you one of the dangerous types?"

"I'm the type that has debts to pay and doesn't want his girlfriend getting involved in the mess."

"What debts?"

"I don't know, just debts."

Sabi sat back in the booth and crossed her arms. "Thought we were being honest with each other?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it here," Axel gestured at the old man at the other side of the dining area staring at them. He leaned closer, and under his breath, said, "my mom owes some money. I'm trying to dig her out of the hole before she kicks the bucket."

"What kind of debt?"

"Sab..."

"Just tell me."

"The house. The bills. Shit, before I met you, the city shut her water off. She's so fucked, she can't work. My dad left money when he died for her to retire, and she drank and partied it away. So, now I'm cleaning up that mess."

Sabi went quiet for a while, and Axel picked up his fork and combed through the remaining fries for bits of bacon.

"I'm sorry your mom was an alcoholic."

"Is an alcoholic," Axel corrected. "She'll always be one."

"Babe... You're amazing. Helping your mom like that is a testament to how generous and kind you are. I just wish you could help her more legitimately."

"Nothing more legitimate than cash, Sab. That, and how much I love you and need you to stay out of this. Let me figure it out. I don't want you at any more fights."

"Well, I don't want you at them either."

"I have to. I'm locked in for another three matches."

"What if I help you? I make decent money. I can help with her bills."

"You help enough already. Keep your money. It's done, babe. I'm in it for a little while, then I'm out. Maybe I'll go legit after, and you can come watch me fight."

"I've seen it. You're fierce. I never knew you could move that quickly."

"They don't call me Cobra for nothing."

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#axel cluney #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard imagine #axel cluney fanfiction

[fanficparker]

You are Everything! | H.O.

Friends!Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1.8k words

A/N: @lost-aesthetic-of-past and I wrote it together during a reblog chain (haha)

Warnings: Angst but it’s cute. Swearing.

Summary: Harrison decided to cut you off from his life after you had friend-zoned him. But did you actually? Or was there something else?

[ MASTERLIST ]

"Green is not really a good colour on you, ya' know?" Greg said quietly, standing beside Harrison at the pub, looking at the scene unfolding in front of them.

"I'm not jealous," Harrison scowled, turning to look at anything but what was in front of him.

It was basically nothing. Just the girl he has been in love with for years being flirted by another guy. The guy was nice, one of his own acquaintances. But at the moment, he had started to hate him.

"Mate come' on, let's get going." Greg tried to pull Harrison away, possibly because he could sense the blonde nearing his explosion point.

"Yes, give me a second before that!" He finished his drink and walked straight towards you and the guy who was shamelessly flirting with you.

"...And I said, sorry, but I can't talk right now because I'm queening," Kevin said with a laugh, making you laugh in response. You had just met the guy but he was funny, and kind of cute. You were very much looking forward to getting his number and getting to know him more, but just then, Harrison approached you two.

"Hey, Harrison, whats'up?" Kevin greets. You had no idea that Kevin and Harrison knew each other. Harrison however, all but ignores Kevin and turns to you.

"We need to talk." He said before walking out expecting you to follow him.

What did he want to talk about?

You passed Kevin an apologetic smile and rushed after Harrison. He was waiting for you outside the pub.

"Why did you call me out so abruptly?" You questioned, standing in front of him.

"Do you have any idea how Kevin was relentlessly flirting with you?!" Harrison whisper-yelled, motioning with his hands while looking sideways, afraid if Kevin could hear him. You squeezed your eyes at his words.

"I... ah... Know already?" You replied, quirking an eyebrow. Harrison's loose posture instantly jerks into a stiff one as he took a step back.

"You know?" The surprise in his voice was evident.

"Yup. I mean that's exactly... That was exactly the purpose." You admitted, biting at your lower lip.

"What... You..." He sucked in a breath, not believing your words. His stomach was dropping, his heart was shattering.

"Yeah. I-I mean he seems like a good guy. Also, I don't wanna remain single forever," You tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear while Harrison clenched his fist, trying his best to not look hurt.

And he thought, he had a chance with you.

"I need to go Haz. He must be waiting, see you in a few minutes," You said and then leaned in, pecked his cheek and walked inside.

He knew what the kiss meant.

It was the friend-zone kiss. You knew about Harrison's feelings and you had just smoothly rejected him.

He was so screwed.

***

"Haz it's been 3 days just, pick up the damn phone! I'm worried!" It was probably the seventh call this morning and he was still not picking up his phone.

That night and that interaction with Harrison outside the pub left you perplexed. He didn't come back inside after the conversation. He simply left, without even informing you. You literally spent a good twenty minutes trying to find him in the crowd when Greg called him over the phone and informed you that he was home already.

And since then, you tried to call him, but he wouldn't pick up. You even tried to call Greg, but he said that you needed to fix this up with Harrison yourself.

What does that even mean?

How were you going to fix this up if you didn't know what you did wrong?

For years you have pined for that guy but kept your feelings at bay because of your damn insecurities. And now that you were ready to date another guy, someone who was within 'your League', Harrison had started acting weird. Absolutely absurd.

Was it because he liked you? Before you could even begin to explore this impossible avenue, the phone rang again.

You rushed to pick it up, thinking it was him, only to find out that it was Tom.

"Hey!" You couldn't help your voice from shaking a little, "Have you heard from Haz?"

"Yeah... I talked to him." The calmness in Tom's voice sounded unnatural, it had a cold undertone to it. "He asked me to tell you to not call him anymore."

"What?!" You were barely keeping yourself from crying at this point, "J-just, tell me what I did? Please."

Tom sighed on the other side, "Okay... Meet me at the usual coffee shop, in thirty-minutes." And with that, he hung up.

You couldn't even begin to imagine what heinous crimes you committed against Harrison that he had to cut you out of his life in the blue? But if he was going to do it, you hoped he did it face to face, and not through your mutual friends. This was worse.

***

"Did you go out with Kevin yet?" Tom asked sitting across from you.

"That's not what I came here to discuss." You told him. You were tapping your foot restlessly. You were here to know about Harrison, not talk about Kevin.

"I am just asking." He rolled his eyes and you scoffed at his reaction.

"Fine. I didn't. He was bothering me with talking about his..." You made a face, "savage moments all the time!"

"So, it didn't work out?"

"That's what I said. Now can we please talk about Harrison?"

"Yeah right. So... Harrison... is kinda mad at you."

"I figured that out myself," You rolled your eyes this time, "Tell me something new."

"Y/n come' on you friend-zoned him and now he can't even be mad?"

"Friend-zoned him? We are already friends!" You panicked through your words.

"Oh my god! Why are girls so dumb!"

"That's sexist..." You scrunched up your face in disgust.

There was no way Harrison could have fallen for you.

He sighed, "That guy is head over heels for you and you don't even notice."

"What no–"

"That's the truth." He interrupted your sentence, shrugging his shoulders.

"No... It can't be..."

"It is Y/n. Why are you denying it so much? He told this to me himself."

"I... I... "

Tom stopped your stuttering by keeping his hand over yours.

"If there's something, you can tell me." He smiled at you in a reassuring manner.

"No Tom... No. You can't understand." You stood up jerking away his hand.

"If you won't tell then how would I?"

"I can't..." You tried to hold back the tears forming in your eyes, "It's... it's embarrassing."

He didn't force you after that (seeing it was the best thing to do) and you left.

How can he understand?

How can people like him and Harrison ever understand?

Harrison is surrounded by models all day. He must be getting laid all the time. Girls throw themselves at him. And you... You were just a plain girl. He can easily trade you with them. They were so much better.

And now you had lost him as a friend too...

***

"Hey, Haz..." This was probably the last time you were going to call him anyway, so, you decided to make it worthwhile.

"You are probably not going to listen to this message. And I don't blame you. But the truth is.. I don't have anyone else to talk about this," You tried to keep your voice even, "And I swear after this if you don't want to stay in touch, I promise I won't bother you."

It had been a few hours until your meeting with Tom. All these hours you were going crazy.

How were you going to tell Harrison that it's because of your crippling insecurity you kept your feelings hidden?

How were you going to do that without him looking at you like you are a fool?

"You know I'm not the most secure person in the world," You laugh through your nerves, "And definitely not the most confident one. And that's why when I realised I liked you... more than friends... I got scared. Because you are you, and you look amazing and are so funny and talented and... I am just... me," You shrugged your shoulders even though you knew he won't be able to see you.

"And that's why I kept it all locked. Because I didn't want to feel rejected when I find out you don't like me like that." You sucked in a deep breath, "So now I've gone on and ruined everything, and I'm sorry if I hurt you..." You voice cracked as all those pent up tears rolled down your cheeks.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry!" And with that you hung up, not knowing that he will listen to your message, and only a few hours later going to turn up at your door.

If it was simply a knock at your door, you wouldn't be opening it. But the knock was accompanied with his voice. How could you not open?

Looking at you for the first time in three days made Harrison feel like he finally found something very dear to him he had lost. Sure you were in your pyjamas and your hair resembled a bird's nest, but it was you.

And you were...

"You are an absolute dumbass! No, you are actually the biggest dumbass on this entire planet!" There was a fit of slight anger behind his voice, but it was kind of hard to focus on the tone when you were finally hearing from him (and were even seeing him) after three entire days. "How dare you think that you are not good enough when really you are the only one?!" He thumbed his foot on the floor.

"What?" Now you spoke, not realising you had spaced out.

And you were...

He rubbed his face with both hands, "You are everything!" He walked forward, cradling your face gently in his hands.

And you were...

"An idiot..." He breathed out, "But still everything... How could you possibly think you were not enough?"

"You know me... I-I can't help it!" And the waterworks started again.

He leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours, looking into your glossy e/c eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" He voice was merely a whisper as his eyes flickered down to your lips.

You nodded your head, unable to form words and he pressed his lips again yours, pulling you closer to him.

"Just... next time... talk to me. Don't shut me out, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded again, resting your head against his chest.

What would happen if you actually screwed it all up?

_______________________

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[captainillogical]

Home Ch.1

The domesticity of living with an alien who hasn't quite had the chance at a normal life. 

Distant Lands sequel.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​ 

thanks for still reading my shit, love you all

You slam the fridge door, taking a swig out of the bottle of water in your hands that you had just grabbed from the top shelf. It’s hot as hell out this afternoon, and you’ve just finished grabbing the last of your stray belongings to move across town.

“-and you need to make sure to keep your phone on, I’ll be sending you calendar updates to your current schedule. Things have been moved around twice for next week, so expect your lesson times to change again.”

“I appreciate all this Pearl, but you’re acting like I’m moving farther than 5 miles and a single warp away.” You say to the gem lecturing you off a list she’s made on her phone.

“I just like to be sure.” Pearl narrows her eyes at you slightly. “I know you’re capable of handling things on your own, I just worry.”

“You fret like you’re my mom.” You retort with an eye roll, taking another sip of water. Garnet grins at that, leaning against the counter. It’s just the three of you here in the kitchen.

“Well, I have known you for quite a few of your formative years.” She huffs, cheeks tinting blue. “I remember when you first responded to that ad Greg put up, you walked in and-”

“Pearl, oh my god, please no.” You cut her off, capping your bottle, it crinkling slightly in your hands.

“I think she’s getting empty nest syndrome.” Garnet says with a small chuckle.

“Y/N, you are sure about this, right?” Pearl ignores Garnet’s comment. “I know that living on your own can be fairly difficult as is..”

“We talked about this extensively yesterday, Pearl.” You sigh, giving her a specific look. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been through hell already enough as is, this will be a walk in the park for me. Besides, I’ve got Spinel.”

“That’s kind of what I’m worried about.” She replies, levelling her gaze with yours.

You try not to sigh out loud at her again.

Okay, so. Really, it's been less than a week since you've solidly been back on Earth. You can't reasonably expect Pearl of all people to be one for quick adjustment. But you did spend a long time with her the day prior going over all her questions about the surface of Golgotha for an updated gem archive entry she's working on. You were kind of hoping it would calm most of her worries about this in general, but you feel like based on some of your responses it might've made her worry even more. Not to mention paired with that incident in the kitchen the other day with Amethyst..

Even if it was a little painful for you for multiple reasons; like having to re-live terrifying moments in detail - it wasn't as painful as the BARRAGE of questions she pummelled you with about the nature of your relationship with Spinel once she got you alone. Fucking mortifying, that was, when Pearl had the audacity to ask if you two had been like this prior to coming back to Earth. You tried keeping much of it to yourself as possible as you aren't super well-adjusted to everything yourself. Like jesus fucking christ, Amethyst and Garnet accepted your text message without much question, other than a thumbs up from her and a solid wall of emojis and expletives from the shorter gem. And maybe a couple roasts about it that you're not going to mention. But they had managed to accept it without embarrassing you much, why couldn't Pearl be less.. Pearl about it?

“What do you think is honestly going to happen?” You retort flatly.

“Well, I don’t have-” Pearl stops to spare a glance at Garnet, who barely even reacts.

“Future-vision is cheating.” She says, lips still forming a wry smile. “She will be fine as long as she remembers to make sure the oven is off.”

“You’re gonna make me paranoid..” You groan. “And see Pearl? I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so." She says like she's waiting to be proven right somehow. You know her enough to not be offended by it. "You didn't forget about your stuff in the bathroom, did you?"

"Nah, but it's not like I won't be back, y'know, in-case you maybe find my missing rubber ducky." You say, feeling your stomach rumble. "And while I do love you both, really, I've got to go get some food in me and finish the lesson plan for next week.."

"Fiiine, go! Clearly we're just here to nag you." Pearl says with a bit of a huff, slight pout on her face, but you can tell she's mainly doing it for the dramatics.

"Don't be like that." You hold back rolling your eyes at her, even if you really want to. You grab the bag with the rest of your things off the counter, shouldering it.

"Did you give me sitting in and watching your first class any more thought?" Garnet asks, resting her hands on her hips. You can't see her eyes, but you know if you could she'd be studying your face for an answer. "It might help with the nervousness you're feeling."

"Yeaaaaaaahhhh," You let out a breath a bit nervously, having given that exactly zero extra thought. "I'm still pretty sure that you'd just give me performance anxiety. Give me a few more days to think about it."

You say your goodbyes for now, toeing your shoes on and heading out the door down to the beach below.

Ugh. It's hot, and so is the sand.

You should think about finally replacing your old car. You know, the one that died last year that Peridot said was worth more in scrap metal? You miss that old junker. You'd have to save up a considerable amount of money you don't have, but, ugh, you'll think about this later.

The breeze makes your hair fly into your face, and you're annoyed the entire walk over to town. Your stomach growls again, and you decide on pizza for your afternoon lunch.

It's kind of a no-brainer when your feet lead you to Fish Stew Pizza, and your hand is already on the door handle and opening it when you subconsciously realize a small hangup, possibly, just as the door opens.

Kiki's inside and manning the counter, and she's the only one in the establishment at all currently. You let out a breath of relief.

"Weeeeeeelcome." She greets you without even looking up from her phone.

"Afternoon'." You say in greeting, feeling awkward preemptively. Kiki looks up immediately when she hears your voice, and her facial expression is completely surprised at yours at first before she quickly schools it to more of a casual, neutral one.

Ah. Lars came through.

You see.. after that first day back you utterly loathed the idea of explaining why you're now pink to literally everyone else, and Lars offered to send out a couple quick informative texts. What a fucking bro. You should probably help him out sometime just for the effort alone.

"Y/N, it's good to see you." Kiki says, trying not to be too obvious that she's giving you a glance-over.

"Thanks, you too." You hear coming out of your mouth, the air conditioning of this place cooling you off rapidly. God you even SOUND awkward. "It's pretty empty in here for the time of day, that's kind of odd."

"Yeahhh, but I'm not gonna complain about it. I'm covering Jenny's shift right now and I'll take the slowness if it means I can just be on my phone.." She's staring at the scar on your face, and you feel.. weirdly self conscious about it.

"Typical Jenny. You gotta stop going easy on her." You reply, leaning against the counter.

“Oh, I wasn’t going easy. She’s doing my chores this week because of this, so actually she’s the one getting the short stick out of this. I had nothing planned with my time off.” She sets her phone down, and oh my god, she will not stop staring.

“Will you just say what you’re thinking and get this over with?” You spit out, impatient. She reels back for literally only a split second before leaning forward eagerly and getting right into your space.

“Lars wasn’t fucking lying, huh. That place messed you UP.” She reaches over the counter to touch your hair, and if it were nearly anyone other than Kiki you’d punch them in the face. But she helped you deal with her sister back then, so. “I saw you maybe a week and a half ago, and now look at you! Pink like Lars and with a giant scar on your face to boot! What didn’t happen to you there?!”

“I er, didn’t get the face scar there, and it wasn’t the only one I gained.” You say with a grimace. Your stomach growls again. “How much exactly did he tell you?”

“What!? I mean he told me about you being kidnapped by a deranged gem and that you died, but that was about it!” She replies, expression bewildered.

You sigh. God. Okay. That’s not the worst thing he could’ve told people. But he’s not making this any easier for you anyway.

“Listen, can I order a small plain cheese pizza? And then I’ll enlighten you.”

“Yeah, you got it.” She grins, getting this spark in her eye while ringing you up and even giving you a hefty discount. It’s why she’s your favorite sister of the two.

You move to sit by the window table, setting your bag down on one of the other chairs and pulling out your lesson notes.

You don’t really feel super up to this right now, but you should probably go over a few things by yourself that Pearl gave you some pointers on. You’re nervous, like really nervous about teaching this class, if you’re honest with yourself. But you also think it will be fun, and interesting, even. You’re only giving two hour-long lessons a week for right now, as the others wanted to see how well you’d fair. Your first lesson is in just a few days. Also, the class currently has 43 gems signed up for it, and that’s quite a bit of a hefty crowd.

You were expecting an interest of maybe.. 4 gems total. This is a little unnerving. You only have the one flier posted up with the other new classes on that board, so you’re guessing word of mouth was how it spread.

You feel your phone buzz a couple times in your pocket, and you pull it out to see who it is. When you see who the messages are from, you can’t help but feel a smile break out on your face that you have a hard time suppressing. Oh, and whoops, you forgot to reply to her earlier messages while you were being lectured by Pearl.

[14:13] Spinel: uuuuugh i just want today to be OVER please

[14:13] Spinel: i think bismuth enjoys sending me to help peridot like some kind of sadist

[14:13] Spinel: its like she knows i dont want to hear about camp pining hearts for the third day in a row? i get peridot needs assistance but i haven’t even seen this show and now i have no need to ever physically watch it

[15:42] Spinel: you can’t ignore me in person Y/N

[15:42] Spinel: i haven’t seen you in two days and this is how you treat me?

[15:42] Spinel: like an afterthought?

[15:42] Spinel: hurtful

You roll your eyes to yourself, still grinning. You can feel affection coming through the words even if that isn’t what they’re saying. You’re also ecstatic at the concept of the others getting on with Spinel quickly enough to annoy her on purpose now. You miss her face, and feel a little silly about it, considering it hasn’t even been that long. It sucks, but at least she texts you fairly often. And as of today, well, you get to live with her.

[15:43] Y/N: Rest assured, I can ignore you in person.

[15:43] Y/N: Dramatic ass.

[15:43] Y/N: I’m going to be seeing you in like, an hour anyway. Chill.

“Why are you smiling like that?” You hear, jolting upright in your seat as Kiki sets down your personal pizza in front of you with a glass of water. It smells heavenly. “You never smile like that.”

“Uh,” You reply, caught off-guard, and set your phone down. “Was just replying to something funny Steven said.”

“Sure.” She says in a tone that screams ‘I don’t believe you whatsoever but okay’.

You reach out for a slice of pizza and take a bite, cheese almost dripping all over the lesson plans in front of you. Kiki moves the papers aside for safekeeping, and you mutter out a quick thanks.

“So,” She starts, resting her chin on her hand. “You gonna enlighten me, or what?”

You finish chewing your slice of pizza, and grab another. And then you indulge her questions. All of them.

She has a lot.

You leave out all the details of what happened between you and Spinel, you’re really not ready to have those kinds of conversations yet. Dealing with Steven giving you shit for it has been more than enough to want it from anyone else, and you haven’t even told Lars about it - even though you told him you would whenever you finally confessed to her.

Also.. uh. You won’t lie. Between the both of you being pretty fucking busy almost right off the bat, you haven’t exactly, er. Had the girlfriend conversation with Spinel yet. Other than that one night, people are always around you two. You know you gotta just talk to her about it to clarify, but shit, you’re stupidly anxious about it. Part of your brain is literally screaming at you about being stupid about it, because sure, you had the most nerve-wracking love confession of your life and you two boned and also she definitely said she felt the same way, but what if this is just real casual to her?

Oh my god, you over-think fucking everything. Get it together.

You think not seeing her for two days in-person might be driving you nuts, a little.

"Lars didn't really tell me anything about Spinel. He gave me the jist of it, but told me to ask you for everything else whenever you seemed okay with it." She lets out a long breath, and you watch her eyes focus on you. "Imagine what would've happened if you weren't there with him that day. Do you think she would've killed him?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Honestly? She definitely had the strength to, but it doesn't really matter to me now. She wouldn't harm a hair on anyone's head." You reply, trying to not mull over the Spinel you experienced when you first met.

"You seem to have full faith in her." She states, a small smile forming on her face. "You didn't treat any of the other gems that tried killing Steven with any kindness for at least a month. You're less forgiving than Pearl."

"I spent a month with her alone on a planet, Kiki. I had to learn how to work with her, and she saved my life." You retort.

"Yeah, only cause you put yourself in danger for her." She narrows her eyes at you. “And you’re moving in with her today?” Kiki asks, expression a bit suspicious, smile still on her face. This makes you uneasy.

“Yeah?” You reply, confused. “It’s not that weird, is it? I moved in with Steven fairly quickly.”

“Yeah, except that was a different type of situation, you were a guardian for him. And this is you we’re talking about here.” She levels you with a look. “I feel like I’m missing something you’re not telling me. Like a key part to all of this.”

“L-like what?” You shove another slice of pizza into your mouth to shut yourself up. Not fucking today, dammit. Not today.

“I dunno, there’s just something..” She trails off, her eyebrows drawn together on her forehead as if she’s got a thought within her grasp. She looks at your hand, grasping your phone, squinting her eyes. She then shakes her head. “Whatever, you’ll tell me eventually. It’s not as if you’re sleeping with her.”

You choke on the slice of pizza you’re currently chewing, and violently so.

Kiki’s eyes go wide, and you put a hand up as if you can stop whatever thoughts are racing through her head. Her jaw drops.

“Wait,” You manage to choke out, gasping for air and finding it very difficult. You can't tell if you can feel your face going red from the lack of air, or from this conversation.

“Y/N.” Is all she says, voice dripping incredulously. “Y/N!”

“Kiki, you have the wrong idea-”

“I cannot believe you.” She says, mouth still open. She’s got half a grin on her face like she’s just unearthed the most juicy gossip, and you are SO not here for this. "Wait until Jenny hears about this."

"Kiki!" You wail, and sputter out another cough. "Kiki you can't tell anyone!"

"Why not!?" She cackles. "And besides, I don't even know if she'd believe me anyway. Y/N of all people?!"

"Tell her, and I'll tell Sadie you had a crush on her for a year." You spit out in a panic.

"You wouldn't!" Kiki narrows her eyes at you, face of mock betrayal.

"I would. Watch me." You state, grabbing your phone off the table pointedly.

"Okay okay! Sheesh." She puts her hands up in surrender. "So you gonna tell me the dirty deets or what?"

"No, I don't kiss and tell." You scowl at her, but she doesn't seem put off by it at all.

"Knowing you, that doesn't surprise me." She grabs your glass of water, taking a sip of it. You're not even annoyed. "Guess you and Greg have something in common."

She laughs at her own joke, and you can't help putting your face in your hands and groaning loudly and dramatically. It only makes her laugh harder.

"Shut uuuup." You sigh, grabbing the glass of water from her and taking your own sip.

The two of you talk for awhile as she grills you about Spinel, and you share what you're comfortable with. Eventually, she gets a family of customers in that she has to attend to, and you busy yourself with what you had come here originally to do.

Time passes and you lose track a bit, until your phone vibrates on the table and shakes you out of your concentration.

It's a couple texts from Spinel.

[17:04] Spinel: it'll be a while until I'm free

[17:04] Spinel: there were some ISSUES apparently

You stare at your phone. You try not to be irritated at the situation.

It's not like you haven't seen her in a hot minute or anything. You weren't eager at all to be able to see her face or hear her voice. You sigh, and text her back.

[17:05] Y/N: It's fine.

You stare at your phone for a little bit, but she seems busy enough to not have the chance to respond quickly.

Fuck it, it's not like you have anything else to do. You're tired of the papers and notes in front of you. Might as well make your way over to little Homeworld and wait for Spinel to be free from Peridot's tiny demon hands.

You pack up, and make sure to say your goodbyes to Kiki, who yells at you to text her as you leave the shop.

It doesn’t take you that long to get to little homeworld, and thankfully you know where Peridot is usually working as of late.

You pass by the town center, and the glass in some of the taller buildings glare in the evening sun. There's quite a few gems around, working and building, many conversing with each other. There's a couple humans intermingled with them as well. The general atmosphere is pretty lovely here. You like it.

A Rose Quartz bumps into you on the sidewalk and your bag flies off your shoulder, spilling the contents onto the ground.

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" She spins around, arms out to make sure she didn't shove you off of the sidewalk as well. "I'm just so clumsy." She says, pushing her long pink hair over her shoulder and grabbing for your things on the ground before you can even think to scoop them up yourself.

"It's okay, I wasn't exactly paying attention either." You reply, grabbing the papers that flew out of your bag and onto the street. Thankfully, nothing's damaged. She hands you your stuff, and you place it back into your bag. "Thanks."

"It was mostly my fault anyway." She grins lazily, and you watch her eyes wander around the area of your face where you have that scar. "Hmm, I feel like I've seen your face around here before. You hang out with Steven?"

"You could say that." You smile back at her and shoulder your bag. She's got this way about her that makes you think she's analyzing you, but not out of judgement. "Why?"

"No reason! I'll see you around, cutie." She says with a sly grin and a wink, and you're standing there feeling completely taken aback. Your face heats up a little in embarrassment. That was.. okay. Whatever the hell that was.

You keep walking, mind wandering as you try to figure out what the hell that gem's deal was.

You manage to spot Bismuth near a building with more scaffolding than anything else, and she's huddled with Peridot, Lapis, a couple quartz, and Spinel. You won't lie to yourself when your heart does a little summersault in your chest when you spot her magenta twintails.

They're talking loudly and animatedly about something you can't manage to hear from this distance, and you don't bother to get any closer. You duck into the entryway of a nearby building less than a hundred feet in distance from them just to linger for a moment.

One of the Quartz says something, and they all erupt into laughter, and your eyes are trained on no one but Spinel. There’s something about watching her like this that makes your heart swell, and you feel a bit ridiculous over it. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you tear your eyes away to check it.

It's a message from Steven.

[17:37] Steven: can I ask you for a favor? It's not work related.

[17:37] Steven: Connie's parents invited me to dinner

[17:37] Steven: hELP

You stare at your phone, feeling your face break out into a grin. Someone tries to get into the shop you're standing in front of, so you side step to move out of the way momentarily.

[17:38] Y/N: Haha oh buddy.

You look up after sending the message just to make sure you're in no one's way, and you happen to see Spinel just as she's turning her head in your direction, aaaaaand she's spotted you.

Her face brightens up immediately.

She says something to the others, and most of them turn their faces to peer at you. Your face heats up, and one of them cracks some kind of joke that makes half the others howl in laughter as one of the Quartz slaps Spinel's back in jest.

What the fuck are they saying?!

She manages to disengage herself, waving a couple loud goodbyes as the others let her go. It sounds like they make another joke at her expense, they all laugh as she runs to catch up to where you're waiting for her.

She groans as she reaches you, bringing her gloved hand up to her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun.

"What the hell did you say to them?!" Is what comes out of your mouth instead of a greeting. You glare at the others, and you can’t tell if they can see your expressions, but they sure are howling with laughter.

"Well hello to you too," She replies, cheekily scratching the back of her head. “And I didn't say a word! They just.. kinda figured it out?” She says sheepishly, cheeks coloring a bit. “Guess I talk about 'ya a lot, eheheh..”

Oh my god, ugh. You think you're going to have a heart attack, probably. She's looking at you like she’s holding back a lot of affection. Probably for your sake?

One of them catcalls at the two of you, and you hear another whistling. You feel your eye twitching, but the smile doesn't leave your face.

"No, really, what'd you tell them?"

"That you're my girlfriend, you idiot, because they basically knew that already." She retorts with a roll of her eyes. She grabs your hand, and you feel your face heat up even more. "Let's get 'outta here already."

Well. That answers all your insecurities.

You look forward to the next upcoming days.

#spinel x reader #spinel #su #steven universe #spinel steven universe #home #my fic #thanks for the wait

[mystrade-reading-club]

Ramdon AU

The lovely people on the server suggested these random AUs, but we are happy to add to it.

Uncanny by @justusmice, E, 87k

He'd read fairy tales when he was a kid, had read myths, heard snippets of folklore. Now and then he'd hear weird rumours on the streets of uncanny things that he'd dismissed as the drugged out ravings of hallucinating junkies, but now he was wondering what he'd missed, and if they really had seen things. Greg Lestrade had always considered himself an ordinary bloke, not prone to flights of fantasy. When he is kidnapped from the streets of London and wakes in a dungeon, he must reevaluate everything he thought he knew about the world, and about himself.

The Lydia Chronicles by @out-there-tmblr, 3 fics: E 33k + E 31k + M 11k

Instinct told him that Captain Gregory Lestrade was a man he could trust. But how could this pirate, who had just stormed his ship, be a true man of honour? Captive on the high seas, with nowhere to run, curiously Mycroft Holmes had never felt more free. If he returned to rigid society he'd become an old man's unwilling spouse. If he stayed with Lestrade, the captain had made it abundantly clear he would become his more than willing lover…

Men of the Howve by @odamaki, T, 8k

“Do you wine and dine all of your victims?” Mycroft asks archly.His host clucks his tongue, “Only the comely ones,” he teases and Mycroft horrifies himself by blushing all the way around the back of his neck. One doesn’t go about expecting flirtation from robbers in the woods.

Dark Things Happen at the Turn of the Year by @odamaki, T, 7k but this is just one chapter, so about 1,3k

Mystrade Genielock

The Bad Bridesmaid by @out-there-tmblr, G, 11k

"My wedding is ruined and my marriage is going to fail. And it’s all your fault!"As a Geneva-based political consultant, Mycroft Holmes has it all: influence, money, success, a sleek and toned body and a string of sexy lovers. He's almost forgotten his previous self: Mikey Holmes, a plain and pudgy boy, later an awkward and clumsy teenager. Until a wedding invitation arrives requesting (demanding!) his presence as chief bridesmaid at his younger brother Sherlock's upcoming nuptials.Mycroft's barely been back in England before he's accidentally injured the groom and been caught in a compromising position with his future brother-in-law's best man!With the wedding of the year about to be doomed, Mycroft has no time to waste – especially with sexy detective and best man Greg Lestrade on hand to help...

Written in Skin by @vulpesmellifera, M, 26k   

It’s a lot like leafing through pages in a large picture book, or watching life being lived on the other side of a window. The glass is clear, but still a barrier. Objects are out of reach, though the acts that unfold can tug at your heart or spark a forest fire of rage. Or encourage a person to engender a certain numbness of feeling. Mycroft Holmes lives a quiet, steady life. He works. He paints. He takes walks. It’s what he does to ignore the flurry of partnering around him. Whether it’s the biological drive to mash two bodies together, or the religious dictum of the salvation in finding one’s Devotee, it’s not for him. It won't ever be for him.Until the day he meets a blind man in the park.The world will never be the same.

Let Sleeping Dragons Lie by @MerHums

“Do I make you nervous?”“You're a bloody dragon, and you're talking to me and I came here to kill you, of course you make me nervous!” --- In which Greg is a knight who can't do his job, and Mycroft is a shape shifting dragon who made the wrong witch angry. Humor, romance, and chess playing ensues.

Mara's Mercy by @mottlemoth, E, 62k

[Medieval Fantasy Mystrade] Gregori is on the run from his old life in Cyrodiil—and he could have picked a better place than Skyrim. Captured as a suspected rebel, he faces the headman's axe. A series of staggering events then dramatically alter his fortunes. The quiet town of Falkreath isn't all that it seems, and neither is the Breton bookseller Greg meets on the road. The clever and interesting Mycroft is hiding a secret—but then, so is Greg. As they journey towards Whiterun together, and their friendship grows closer, their secrets must all come to light.

Everyone has a ghost story by @Eva, T 16k

Greg said he would help before he knew what that entailed: a haunted house, a summer long forgotten, and a friend who'd needed his help before they'd even met.

Shave and a Haircut - Two Bits by @bitemebat, G, 3k

A bedraggled stranger wanders into Mycroft's shop after hours.

One Night by @bitemebat, E, 8k

Written for a prompt from "Sherlock Rare Pair Bingo".The prompt was "alternate professions", and I've chosen Greg & Mycroft as my pairing.  

Twice Shy by @ewebie, E, 37k  

It was a marriage of convenience. In a time when Greg Lestrade, as the second born son, was more than likely to be parcelled off in an arranged marriage with a perfect stranger, the offer of security and independence wasn’t one he could turn down. Maybe slightly lacking in romance, Mycroft’s proposal was simple and pragmatic. Engagement: short. Marriage: mutually beneficial.

The Difference Between Misfortune and Calamity by @ewebie ,  T, 6k

 “The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli There were a great many things to wonder about Greg Lestrade. Sure he was a workhorse, rather unsinkable, charming, and a bit of a flirt. But more than anything, it made no logical sense that he often found himself where he was... 

November Mystrade 2018 by @topicabo, E, 19k but this is just one chapter, so about 0.8k

The book he’d brought last time, he’d at least been familiar with. But he’s never read this one. Too farfetched for his taste, and barely any academic value to be found. He’s no idea if it’s any good. But it feels appropriate, somehow. He’s in a fantastical situation – it only seems right to choose a fantastical story to match.

What random AU you’d suggest?

#mystrade #Mystrade fanfiction #mystrade reading club #random AU

[lia-jones]

Growing Stronger - Chapter Thirty-Six - The Father of the Bride

They say one of the hardest days in a man’s life is the one when he gives his daughter away to another man. And Jeremy was travelling into that dark night alone, without any one to advise him. His father never had the same experience; Jeremy’s sister never got married. Not that his father would care or even be present should his sister get married. In fact, Jeremy was sure his father was the reason his sister never married in the first place.

Fortunately, that wasn’t his daughter’s case. She had had the example of a happy family, one that he had raised with love and understanding, hoping to break the cycle of abandonment. Although her experience before Victor was enough to send anyone on a one-way trip to celibacy, that wasn’t his Andrea. She was strong, resilient, and had within her a joy of life many spend a lifetime trying to obtain. She was insightful and hopeful, and that gave her the truly rare ability to see beauty in everything. Apparently, such had been the case with Victor. Where everyone else saw coldness, she saw light.

Although Jeremy and Victor were very different men with very different backgrounds, he could see so much of him in that remarkable young man it was almost funny. Yet, he could never exactly figure what it was that he found so similar. The realization dawned on him at the rehearsal dinner, when he saw Gregory interact with his son.

A deadbeat dad is a deadbeat dad, no matter the social status. That night, he had seen in Gregory’s eyes the same contempt he saw in his own father’s, and in Victor’s eyes the exact same blend of hurt and defiance that he was sure oftentimes he had in his own. And in that moment, Jeremy was absolutely certain that Victor was the best husband Andrea could find: a man who had experienced rejection and pain, but was driven enough to create a life full of love and understanding for himself and the love of his life.

Jeremy sighed and rolled out of bed. This was way too much contemplation before coffee. Plus, he hated to wake up without Mariana, and he could really use her that morning. She would surely and quickly put an end to his useless internal monologue, either offering kind words or simply telling him to get his lazy ass out of bed.

Well, his lazy ass was out of bed. Now what?

What does the father of the bride do?

As he stepped into the cold shower, he pondered about what was expected of him that day. What the heck is the role of the father of the bride? In short, absolutely nothing. He comes forward with a check to pay for the wedding and takes a little stroll down the aisle. Since Victor was a multimillionaire, the stroll was all he had. Jeremy scoffed, accidentally getting a little bit of shampoo in his mouth, pairing with his bitter thoughts: a lifetime racking his brain on how to properly raise a girl and on the most important day of her life, all that was required from him was to be able to walk a straight line. Even a sobriety test could be more interesting.

Getting out of the shower, he noticed a new notification on his phone. A text from his wife.

Have you seen Andy?

To aggravate him even more, Mariana was at Andrea’s room, to help her put on the dress, dote on her, calm down any eventual wedding jitters, leaving him to his own devices. Him, he had no job. Not only was he losing his daughter that day, he had to feel like a useless bum too.

His stomach growled. Maybe it was just hunger putting him in a bad mood. Time to put on some clothes, look for Andrea, and get some grub.

He had just shut his bedroom door when he heard a loud thump at the end of the hall.

“Crap! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!” Andrea fumbled to get herself off the ground, her cheeks red as tomatoes.

He watched her awkwardly walk down the hall, a knowing smirk on his face. The bride’s room wasn’t that way, the groom’s was.

“Woke up early to walk the dog?” He jested, knowing this would make her blush even more.

“Sorry, Dad, no time to talk!” She quickened her step, going for the stairs.

“I was going to say don’t keep him waiting, but it looks like you didn’t!” He joked again, only to be ignored. He didn’t care, though, laughing at his own joke.

Ok, that seemed to be taken care of. At least both bride and groom would be relaxed before the ceremony. Well, as much as they could be. It was time for breakfast.

It was clear to Jeremy that Terry and Mina loved Victor like he was their own child. He was aware that all the preparations depended on Victor’s money and the wedding planner’s taste, but there was an additional and special care in everything Mina and Terry did for him, one that wedding planners can’t replicate, one that is only given to a son. This would remain unnoticed by a lot of people, but to a parent, this special attention was plain to see.

“Good morning.” He announced himself, as he entered the dining room.

“Good morning, Mr. Jones.” Mina greeted him from the kitchen, as she dispatched two trays of food, probably for the happy couple. “I will be right there with you.”

Soon enough, she arrived with a plate filled with bacon, eggs and pancakes, placing it on the table, in front of him.

“Have all the others had breakfast yet?” He asked, seeing himself alone with Mina in the dining room.

“Yes, everybody is already busy with their tasks, they came to eat really early.” Mina was about to leave when Jeremy stopped her.

“Care to sit with me for a quick coffee? I don’t like eating alone.” He asked, feeling weird about having a meal on his own.

“Your granddaughter is so beautiful.” Mina commented, sitting next to him. “So playful and always smiling! Victor loves her, I have never seen him so fascinated with a  child before.”

“Yeah, that one has him wrapped around her little finger…” Jeremy chuckled. “All of us, really.”

“It’s just so sad that Andrea…” Mina trailed off, a concerned look on her face.

“It is.” Jeremy frowned, remembering her pain during that dreadful year. “A farewell gift from that abusive piece of shit.” He cleared his throat. “Pardon my English.”

“No, those words are appropriate.” Mina supported him, almost as enraged as he was, making it clear she cared deeply about his daughter. “It just infuriates me to see these two kids, with such big hearts, go through so much. My Victor acts tough, but in the end, he is still that small little boy that just wants a little affection. At least they found each other. Andrea seems to love him very much.”

“Oh yes, she does.” Jeremy nodded. “That one will love on him until she’s blue in the face.”

“My heart breaks for him today, to tell you the truth.” Mina was misty-eyed, her voice somewhat strained. “It’s the most important day of his life and his father can’t be supportive. And surely he must be hurting, thinking of how his mother didn’t live to witness his special day. It’s like he is being abandoned all over again.”

Jeremy’s thoughts drifted back to his own wedding, in Portugal, away from his friends and family. There was something that cheered him up on that day though: a postcard from his aunt, with some money and his mother’s ring and the words You got this, kiddo. Be happy .

Jeremy smiled confidently at Mina.

“He has someone. He has a mother right here. The one that loved him and nurtured him for years. And that’s the one he needs.”

Well fed and in a much better mood, Jeremy marched to his bedroom. He was wrong, he had a job after all: to be a comforting voice. That was usually Mariana’s job, but she was so busy tending to their daughter and the other bridesmaids that she wouldn’t have the time to work her magic. That day, such a daunting and important task seemed to fall on him. He hoped some of his wife’s wisdom had rubbed off on him.

He took out his wedding suit and put it on, checking himself in the mirror. He was a far cry from the boy he was thirty five years ago, although one thing remained: the look of happiness in his eyes. He was looking for his cuff links when his wife stormed into the room, already wearing her own formal dress, her hair and makeup perfectly done, yet a livid look on her face.

“Where were you? I have been calling you!” She reprimanded him.

“Oh shoot, the sound was very low, I didn’t hear it.” He grimaced, looking at his phone. “Why? What happened?”

“ Filho da puta, arrogante de merda! ” She swore in Portuguese, which was rare for her. Something very wrong was going on. “Gregory is not coming to the wedding. Apparently, his reputation is more important than his son. And your daughter is on the verge of a panic attack, because that producer had the fucking brilliant idea of telling her about the dozens of reporters writing articles about her wedding!” She held her husband’s face, looking him in the eyes with determination. “Our kids need us, Jer. Did you bring that special brandy?”

“To open with Victor after lunch, yes. Why?”

“Forget lunch. He needs it now.” She shook her head with sadness, probably name-calling Gregory in her mind. “Jer, he needs a father.”

Jeremy didn’t need to be told twice. Bottle of brandy in hand, he ran to Victor’s room. He suddenly felt as infuriated as his wife, picturing himself punching Greg square in the jaw for being such a prick, both for  Andy and Victor. Not even on his son’s most special day, he couldn’t avoid a scene? He had to let his son down once again?

He found Joshua pacing nervously outside.

“Oh, thank God!” His son sighed in relief. “I honestly don’t know what to do! His old man was here, they had a huge fight. I had to grab Victor, he was on the verge of punching his father. Fuck, the things he was saying about Andy, I felt like punching him too, but then I remembered what mom said.” Joshua took a deep breath to calm himself down. “After that, he wouldn’t touch his breakfast, Goldman had to threaten to call Andy if he didn’t eat. He’s completely shut down, Dad. He’s barely talking, just sits there, lost in thought.” He looked at his father with angry eyes. “I honestly don’t know if he’s well enough to get married right now. He looks… broken.”

“Don’t worry, son.” Jeremy patted his son in the back. “I got this.”

Jeremy knocked on the door, and as soon as Goldman opened it, he signaled for the assistant to wait outside. He found Victor already in his wedding suit, sitting on the sofa, staring at the floor.

“You look tired, son.” Jeremy started, pretending not to know what was going on. “That’s what you get for sleeping with the bride before the wedding.” He joked, not getting a response. “Or wedding jitters kept you up?”

Victor suddenly looked up, his face expressionless. Jeremy could see the pain in his eyes, though.

“I’m fine.” He answered with a flat voice.

“Well, I have something that will make you feel more than fine.” Jeremy placed the bottle on the coffee table with a loud clunk. That definitely caught Victor’s attention.

“A Rémi Martin XO?”

“A wedding gift to calm your nerves.” Jeremy went to the food table. “Let me get two glasses.”

“Feel free to help yourself.” Victor slid the bottle further from him. “It’s too early for me to drink.”

“Son, you need this more than I do.” Jeremy poured some brandy into a glass, handing it to his son in law. “You may fool your friends out there, but you can’t fool me. Drink. It’ll help.”

He watched as Victor took a sip, letting the brandy sit in his mouth, swallowing after with a satisfied exhale.

“Magnificent.” Victor observed the brandy in his glass. “Are you sure you want me to have it?”

“Of all the people I know, you are the most worthy of it.” Jeremy chuckled. “Andrea or Joshua wouldn’t appreciate it correctly. I would be casting pearls to swine.”

After a brief moment of silence, both swirling the brandy in their glasses, Jeremy decided to jump in and address the matter at hand.

“How are you feeling, son?” He carefully observed Victor.

“I’m fine.” Victor answered, his voice hinting his frustration. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?”

“It’s a big day, after all. We tend to look back, make a quick review of where we’ve been, how far we have come. The people we miss.”

With a sigh, Victor put his glass down on the coffee table. But didn’t utter a word.

“How most things won’t change, no matter how hard we try.” Jeremy offered again, hinting at Victor’s relationship with his father.

Victor smirked bitterly, looking at him. Still, not a word.

“Mari and I were much younger when we got married, I was 25, she was 22. Her family didn’t accept our relationship, so we eloped in a city nearby and got married without anyone’s consent. I could see she was upset not having her family there. I was actually relieved to not have mine.”

His son in law looked at him, surprised. With a weak smile, Jeremy continued.

“As you may have already noticed, Mari and I never talked much about my family to my kids. To be honest, I don’t even know if they are dead or alive. My father was an evil man that left us for another woman. My mother was a weak-minded woman who could never stand up for herself or her children. The moment he left, I had to start working to feed our family, in a winery in Napa Valley. That was how I became an oenologist, my boss helped me in every way he could to give me a steady path.”

Jeremy kept his eyes on the table, unwilling to let past emotions take hold of him.

“The day I got married was the happiest and the hardest in my life. As I looked at the woman by my side, there was a feeling of dread inside of me. I felt alone, unprepared, just a kid. I had no real experience of what a healthy marriage was. My father was an awful husband and a lousy father, how could I be any good at it? I was afraid to repeat his mistakes.”

“Yet, you didn’t.” Victor concluded by himself.

“No, I didn’t.” Jeremy shook his head, feeling proud of himself. “All it took was a look at the woman I loved, standing by my side, smiling at me, and I knew I wasn’t alone. When you stand at that aisle, and you see Andy walk towards you, mark my words, you’ll feel invincible. Nothing else will matter. You’ll know that you love her with all your heart, and even feeling unprepared, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for her.”

“There isn’t.” Victor looked Jeremy in the eyes, his expression assertive. Jeremy knew that look too, it was the one he had on his wedding day.

“I know.” He assured the young man. “That life you leave behind will seem like a mirage when you lead the one you chose for yourself. Don’t let it weigh on you now. You’re almost there.”

“Thank you.” Victor said in a low voice, seemingly touched by the story.

“And I need to see about a bride!” Jeremy downed the rest of his brandy, making a face. “On second thought, this brandy might not have been such a good idea. Maybe don’t drink it all.”

Not giving another word to the men waiting outside, he strode to his daughter’s room, feeling very good about himself. His job here was done. Time to see how beautiful Andrea looked.

She was breathtaking in that dress. Jeremy couldn’t care less about dresses, but even he had to notice the beautiful work in the halter neckline, lined with beautiful stones and covered with lace. It was like nothing he had seen before, a true work of art. Becoming a Lee sure had its advantages.

Not that Andrea cared though. She was still somewhat anxious with all the media outside, all the girls surrounding her, trying to reassure her.

“No way I’m going out there! We’ll have to get married inside.” Andrea concluded, panicked.

“It will be ok, you’ll do fine.” Mariana stroke her back, comforting her.

“No, it won’t! Everyone’s eyes will be on me, I’m going to embarrass Victor!”

“You are not, Andy. It’s just a short walk to the carriage, and then to the aisle. We’ll be with you every step of the way, you’ll do fine.” Diane chimed in.

“And I have instructed the photographers to be as discreet as possible, you won’t even notice them, I promise.” The short producer offered. But Andy wasn’t listening anymore, her mind reeling with fear.

“Oh my God, I can feel myself sweat, I’m going to have pit stains in my dress.” She fumbled with the skirt of her dress. “And it’s too long for me to walk anyway, so I’m surely going to trip on it. I’m going to faceplant on the floor, and every magazine will have a picture of it to remember it.”

“No, you won’t. I will be holding your arm the entire time, remember? Just like I held you when you were learning to walk.” Jeremy spoke up, stealing Andrea’s attention.

“Dad?” She looked up, seeking his support. The same look she had in her eyes like when she was just a child, and still needed him. Jeremy felt his heart swell with joy.

“Remember, Mari?” He spoke to his wife, as he took his daughter’s hand. “This one could talk even before she could walk. And she was so scared of falling.”

“You would only stand and walk if we held your hand.” Mariana continued to talk. “Your father would hold your hand, keeping you straight, while you took your first steps. It took a while to convince you that you were safe, but eventually you walked on your own.”

Andrea smiled, and Jeremy could almost see her, so little, blonde curls jumping up and down as she tried to steady herself.

“You know, as you and Josh grew up, I always thought you’d be the one that needed protection the most. Especially after a few years. Josh was a lively kid, full of spunk and surrounded by friends, while you spent your days pressing the keys of that piano, by yourself. You seemed so fragile and lonely to me, and oftentimes I wondered if you had a hard time making friends, since Josh was the only one you'd play with. But then you had your first recital.”

“I remember that day. I was so nervous.” Andrea recalled, seemingly more relaxed. Mariana left the room with the bridesmaids, probably wanting to give them a moment.

“I remember you walking to that stage, so small, and playing masterfully, getting a look of awe from everyone. That’s when it hit me. What I was seeing wasn’t a small girl isolating herself, but instead someone who, at a very tender age, was already working tirelessly to achieve a goal. You weren’t hiding from the world. You were preparing yourself to face it.”

“Dad…” His daughter was misty-eyed, smiling at him.

“For some years, my heart relaxed.” Jeremy continued. “I consistently saw you work towards your goals, and in the meantime you made friends, a tight circle. No one could ever make you give up what you wanted. Until that scumbag.” He paused, relaxing his fists, that he had unwillingly clenched while he spoke. “There is no greater pain than to helplessly watch your child fade away, lose her spark. But once again, you proved me wrong. You got to your feet, you overcame your trauma and healed from the abuse. You got your doctorate, an outstanding career, a good man to start a life with. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, stronger than me. I have no words to describe how proud I am to be your father.”

“I’m not stronger than you.” Andrea blinked a few happy tears away. “I am strong because of you. Because you always saw worth in everything I did. Because you always believed in me.”

“Hurry up, guys.” Mariana peeked into the room from the door. “The groom is ready. It’s time.”

“Well, I believe some photographers won’t stop you now.” He stood up, taking Andrea’s hand. “Let’s go. There’s a nervous young man anxiously waiting for you.”

“Victor is nervous?” She smiled at him, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh yes. I had to get him slightly drunk.” Jeremy chuckled at the scolding look in his daughter’s expression. “Don’t worry, he’s sober enough.”

He left the mansion proudly, Andy by his side, holding his arm tight. There were sounds of flashes, of pictures being taken, but she kept her eyes on him, confidently, like she did so many years ago. They climbed into the carriage that would take them to the wedding venue, and she looked serene, sure of herself, happy. The same expression she had when facing so many trials in her life. She was ready.

As he walked down the aisle with his precious daughter, Jeremy’s chest felt warmer with a sudden realization: he wasn’t giving away his daughter, because she wasn’t his to give in the first place. She had always belonged to herself, following her own path, focusing on her own dreams, making her own choices. Jeremy was simply privileged to hold her hand as she bravely took her first steps towards a brilliant future.

#mister love queens choice #mister love dream date #love and producer #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc fanfic #victor x oc

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Seven

Previous Chapter HERE

Warning: Some language

Chapter Seven

Curled up on the sofa next to Shan with the bottle of red Noah had left was where Sarah found herself later that same evening, not entirely of her own doing. She’d changed into her sweatpants and her old university hoodie for comfort as soon as she’d arrived back but she still found it hard to relax.

Earlier, after they’d left the gallery, they had continued walking to the restaurant Jocelyn had scouted for them based upon a magazine review she’d read in Home & Country. They had managed to keep their awkwardness to a minimum so no one could tell but Chris soon felt the need to make an excuse and leave. Just before they arrived at the restaurant, he turned to thank Noah and Jocelyn for a nice afternoon and left them to it claiming his producer had emailed some last-minute script amendments he needed to be clued up on. Thankfully, he was a good enough actor that they didn’t suspect anything was amiss. He kissed Jocelyn on the cheek and patted Noah on the back of his shoulder but pretty much ignored Sarah as he walked off back in the direction of his own apartment, head down to avoid the rain. The three of them continued but Sarah had lost her appetite by that point so they called it a night after having a drink at the bar next door.

She texted Chris on the way home to tell him her folks had said it was nice to see him. She had no real reason to tell him that of course but it seemed like the thing to do. That was now over an hour ago and Chris still hadn’t responded. Anyone else would have assumed, logically, that he simply hadn’t seen it yet, or he had been in the process of replying but got distracted with something else, but she knew differently. She found herself anxious at the best of times but not so much concerned with what other people thought of her, if they thought anything at all, or whether she had annoyed anyone. The Evans clan were the exception to that rule. They knew her better than almost anyone. She figured, should she ever wind up missing, that she would be one of those people about whom others would give very banal police statements such as “she was quiet” or “she kept herself to herself” or “actually, now you mention it, she does look a little bit like a female Cillian Murphy.” She almost certainly would not have a candle-light vigil held for her in a park, which was a sobering thought.

“This guy’s a dick.” spoke Shan, mouth full of cookie dough, snapping Sarah out of her head for a second. “He’s stolen another designer’s idea but the judges haven’t figured it out yet.”

Sarah tried quickly to catch up with what was happening on the TV screen. “Is he gonna get away with it? Will they get told, or...?”

“Yeh, the producers will say something. They’re just ramping it up for the drama.”

Sarah loved how into Reality TV Shanna was. Don’t count her out of a quiz team; she knows everything there is to know about Project Runway and could put anyone to shame with her intricate knowledge of Kim Kardashian’s romantic life. Possibly even more so than Kim herself. It was both strangely impressive and kind of scary at the same time, and was possible also the reason why Chris never invited her to parties in L.A.

“So, who is going to win again? Is there a frontrunner yet?”

“We’ve only had three episodes but Jody, definitely. She’s soooo cool. I’m following her on Instagram and she designed these flares that I’m gonna buy if they ever go on sale.” Shan pulled out her phone and started scrolling through the app to find them.

Sarah poured herself another glass of wine and waiting to be blown away by Shan’s ever-changing fashion sense. She wished she was confident with clothes and colour as Shanna had grown to be. She was never afraid to experiment with what she wore, often clashing but somehow always pulling it off. Confidence is key, she would say if you asked her for advice. You can wear absolutely anything you like if you act like you don’t give a shit. In stark contrast, if you managed to find something that wasn’t beige or mauve in Sarah’s closet, it would be a miracle. Actually, if you managed to find anything in her closet that was younger than five years old would be a rarer find than a double rainbow. “Autumnal” is how she would describe it. “Dull as fuck” would be Audrey’s response. 

“Oh, Chris wants to know if we’re bringing anyone to his party next week. Matt needs numbers. Do you think Audrey will fancy coming?” Shan offered without looking up from her phone. “Actuallt, stupid question.”

“Actually, no, I don’t think so. I think it’s hers and Michael’s anniversary. She mentioned they were thinking of driving up to the coast.” She took a sip from her glass. “Did he just ask you that?”

“Yeh. Well, like ten minutes ago but I forgot to say anything.” Shan was still scrolling through her phone to find the photograph and couldn’t see the dejection cross Sarah’s face.

“Here they are. Look. Funky or what?” Shan excitedly waved her phone in Sarah’s direction so she could only make out a swirl of blue and purple. They were definitely flares, though. Ideal for a themes costume party but probably everyday wear for someone as ballsy as Shanna. “I reckon these with my black platforms and that red angora sweater of yours.” Maybe Sarah’s wardrobe was of some appeal after all.

“Yeh, I could see you in those for sure.” Sarah smiled. “But that sweater is the only decent thing I could wear on a date that isn’t part of my day to day stuff so you need to be careful with it.”

“Aww you saving it for Greg?” Shan winked.

“Hardly.” Sarah tried to find the energy to eye roll back at her but she was too bothered by the confirmation that Chris was almost certainly absolutely definitely ignoring her.

“Shan? I think I’ve done something stupid and I’m not sure what to do.”

Shan looked taken aback for a moment before just plain confused. “Sarah, you don’t do ‘stupid’. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fixable.” she leaned forward a little, moving closer to Sarah on the armchair next to the couch. “You know, it sounds odd but I had this feeling something was going on. You’ve been a little distracted lately. What is it?”

Now it was Sarah’s turn to hope Shanna wouldn’t be mad at her. “You know I contacted the agency? About Charlotte? Well, they’ve put me in touch with her and things have moved on a little bit since and now we’re sort of talking to each other. We’re thinking of meeting up soon.”

Shanna’s eyes grew wider in surprise. She’d known about Sarah’s response to the agency’s request and had made her feelings approximately clear some time before, but the actual talking part was new information.

“We’ve been texting a bit.” Sarah continued with some trepidation. “She gave them her number to pass on to me. She’s thinking of coming to Boston soon, maybe to have a drink or something. What do you think?”

Shan looked at Sarah without blinking for a moment. She didn’t know what to think. “Wow, you have her number? And she has yours? Obviously, sorry. That was a dumb thing to ask. OK. Well, I guess that’s that then.” Shanna placed her phone down on the coffee table in front of her and readjusted her position on the couch so she was facing Sarah more now.

Sarah rubbed the back of her neck. “Chris thinks I’m being stupid.”

“Oh, Chris thinks everyone is stupid if they don’t think the exact same way he does.” Shanna exaggerated her eye roll causing Sarah to chuckled. “Have you heard him talk about Giants fans?!”

“He is right, though, isn’t he? It’s a risk. I mean, she didn’t want to know before so what’s changed now?”

“A lot of things could have changed, Sarah. I guess you’ll find out soon enough.” Shanna responded. “When do you think you guys’ll meet?”

“She’s gonna let me know. She has to travel to Boston so I guess it depends on her journey.” Sarah shrugged, noting Shanna’s scepticism. “I’m sure she’ll contact me.”

“Yes, of course she will.” Shanna briefly paused. “Where is she from?”

“Raleigh, North Carolina. She wasn’t born there, I don’t think. Moved for work. I’m guessing she’s from Michigan originally but I don’t really know that for sure.”

Shanna nodded along, taking in everything Sarah was telling her and trying not to appear cynical. Having been on the end of something similar some years earlier, she appreciated how comforting the support was even if she herself knew it to be forged somehow. She knew the last thing Sarah would need right now was to be told she was being foolish, and she made a mental note to elbow her stupid brother in his ribcage the next time she saw him.

“I was going to tell them this weekend but I bottled it. After everything Chris said, I just figured maybe they would think I didn’t appreciate them enough. I just can’t put that on them. Not now. Not until I’ve at least met her.” Sarah rubbed both hands down her face. She didn’t know what to do and had kind of hoped that Shanna would magically make everything better.

“From everything I know of Joss and Noah, I really don’t think they would ever stop you from seeing her.” Shan nudged Sarah’s foot with her own, trying to get her attention back. “You can’t expect them to be over the moon aout it but they would at least understand your choosing to do so. And despite Chris’s opinion, that’s what this is. Your choosing. You have control over this and if you say so, well, then...that’s all that matters.”

Sarah smiled softly at Shanna, glad she’d taken the plunge and finally told her what was going on. Her shoulders felt a little lighter after removing some of the weight.

“But I can’t promise we’ll be OK. We’ll worry about you until she gives us reason not to.” Shanna leaned back on the couch, wine now in hand, and curled her feet back under herself. “Tough shit.”

Sarah watched as a smile slowly spread across Shanna’s face, her eyes full of sympathy. “You have to face it. We love you very much and if she dares even cross you? Just once? We’ll burn her house down.”

“OK.” Sarah nodded, wiping her eyes of the tears that had started forming in the corners. “OK, deal.”

*

Nothing had really changed in the days that followed. Sarah had the impression Chris was continuing to ignore her, with only short, clipped phrases padding out any conversation they might have had by accident. She was also pretty sure he and Lisa had both been talking to Shanna about it when he thought she couldn’t hear him, casually enquiring about her plans to meet. At several times, she caught the ends of hushed conversations and experience the odd awkward moment where everything would freeze as soon as she’d walk into the room. If they had been hoping to alleviate any concern, they were failing. Shanna was also a terrible liar at the best of times but to her credit, Sarah had heard her give Chris an earful for what he’d said to her following their visit to the McCurry exhibition and he had promised to offer Sarah an apology but that had yet to materialise, not that she cared much. Shanna had also decided not to give away any details of their impending meeting and for that, she’d be eternally grateful. 

“So,” Audrey said, leaning on the desk where Sarah had set up camp to catch up on some patient admin. “You’re really going to see her, huh? How will you know it’s her?”

“How do you mean?” Sarah looked up briefly from the papers in front of her, a crease forming on her brow. She was fed up of people’s judgements.

“Will she be carrying a white newspaper and some roses, or has she sent you a photograph of herself so you know who to look out for?”

 No sarcasm intended, Audrey was serious and she was right. That was a really good question. Crap. She hadn’t given much thought to asking Charlotte what she looked like and the photograph from twenty-nine years ago of a young curly-haired brunette with wide, tired eyes might not be the most entirely accurate depiction to work off. She could be a full-time blonde right now, and she had no idea how tall or slim she might be. In a strange way, being caught up in the unnerving anticipation of finally meeting her birth mother, she must have simply assumed they would bear a passing resemblance to one another. That their eyes would meet across a room and they would know instantly who the other person was. Maybe they would hug first and conversation would flow naturally from there and it would be like, where have you been all my life? 

One thing Lisa had offered by way of advice was to tell Sarah to stop putting unrealistic expectations on herself. She told her she didn’t want her to be disappointed but it was almost too late for that now. She couldn’t help but get a little carried away the more she thought about the infinite possibilities and the closer their arranged date crept up on her, the more agitated she became.

Work had been something of a welcome distraction. A chance to ground herself in reality as opposed to daydreaming all the what-ifs she might have before the weekend arrived. She’d even allowed herself to flirt a little bit with Greg, not too much but certainly enough to garner Audrey’s amusement and surprise.

“I’m just saying. It’s worth asking for some kind of idea of what she plans to wear, or maybe you should tell her something about yourself?” Audrey suggested. “I’ve always thought you would look amazing with rose gold hair and that would give you a perfect way to stand out.”

“I’m not gonna dye my hair. Remember what happened last time? That charity thing? I had to replace all of my towels.” They both laughed at the memory but something had clearly struck a chord somewhere inside her and Sarah pondered it for a second. “You’re right, though. I haven’t really thought much beyond the day itself.” Sarah looked back down at the work in front of her, all of it suddenly losing focus. “Tell you the truth, I have no idea what I’m going to say to her.”

“Yes, you are quite awkward at the best of times, aren’t you?”

Sarah eyed Audrey for a second unsure of what to say before catching the smirk on her face. She threw a roll-up memo note at her face.

“What do you think you’ll say to her?” Audrey asked, more seriously now.

Sarah took a deep break and leaned back in her chair. Truthfully, she had been losing sleep over this very subject, swinging between general chit-chat you would have with a long-lost pal you’d just added on Facebook, and calling her every name under the sun. She figured the fairest most useful thing would be somewhere between the two.

“I have no idea. Every time I think I have a hold on the situation, some other thought pops into my head and it’s like I’m back at zero again.” She threw the pen she’d been holding on to the table and looked at Audrey. Audrey’s face was full of something akin to worry.

“If you like, I could always call you, like on a date? If everything is OK, you can ignore it. If not, it could be your get-out clause?” Audrey offered. If Sarah had asked, Audrey would have probably staked the place out and sat next to them all night, and only partly because she was nosier than she would admit.

“I love you, Audrey.”

Audrey playfully rolled her eyes. “OK, I get it. This is something you have to do yourself. Just know the offer still stands, OK?” Sarah nodded gratefully. “I’m off in ten and I don’t think I’ll see you again before, so...take care. Let me know how it goes, yeh?”

She grabbed Sarah’s shoulder in a tight grip before walking out of the room, leaving Sarah to her mountain of paperwork and another three hours of shift before she could head home and try to get some sleep.

Sarah waited a second before pulling her phone out of her pocket. The last messages she had sent over the past day or two had all been to Charlotte; all of them casual enough but she’d answered every single one of them. Relief washed over her momentarily as she considered how to approach the awkward subject of not having a clue what her biological mother looked like. Then again, this whole situation was awkward. It was awkward as hell, so she just went for it.

Sarah 9.02pm: Just a thought. Who should I look out for this Friday?

Mercifully, she didn’t have to wait long for a response. The feeling she had was almost pleasant and it caught her off guard.

Charlotte 9.09pm: Oh my word, I didn’t think!! I’ll be in a red dress. Boots. Honestly I only have one nice outfit ;)

She allowed herself to smile for a second at her reply, taking a moment to think about what she was doing. If she could meet Charlotte for an hour, nothing too pressured, she could easily grab a cab to Chris’ place afterwards and still be there before 9pm. No one would notice.

Sarah 9.12pm: No problem. I’ll look out for you. Still OK for 7.30?

Charlotte 9.14pm: Absolutely! Looking forward to it x

*

#chris evans #chris fic #evans fic #Clear The Area #Sarah Bernette #chris evans x original female character #Syms Writing

[bicon-crange]

Greg’s Parents

Makin this small post because I keep seeing posts about Steven meeting his human grandparents and in them they are always great people- and I think you all forget that Andy was Gregs cousin? Who stayed closer to the family much longer than he did? And that Andy was awful? SO here’s a refresher! 

[WARNING: dialouge under cut is from Andy and from Gem Harvest so thinly veiled racism/xenophobia/sexism from that episode ect. ect. my point is the DeMayos probably aren’t good people]

On top of his literal first lines being to literally establish his bigotry:

[ Peridot: Hey! Don't you touch our things! Pilot: You're hobettes? A hobo is a man's job. Lapis: Who's the human and what's he yelling about? Peridot: The real question is: where are my attack drones? *repeatedly presses a button on a remote* Pilot: Wait a minute. Those mysterious constructions, your weird appearance, your strange jewels. I know what you are. You're hippies! I heard about you on AM radio. What are you doin', comin' in here, socializin' this fine, American barn?]

HE JUST... IS TERRIBLE. But another thing to note is that he is much more attatchted to the family than Greg is- which is why I assume his morals are more in line with Greg’s parents/family as a whole- considering when he talks about Greg leaving he says you thought you were so much better than US. Also he does get worse my god

[Greg: How was I supposed to? I haven't seen you in years! Andy: And whose fault is that? You thought you were so much better than us, you just got in your van and drove away. Greg: That was like two decades ago! Steven: Uncle Andy, can I get down now? Andy: Oh, sorry, Steven. *puts down Steven* I ain't used to holdin' nephews. *turns to Greg* 'Cause I didn't know I had one! So, uh, which one of these girls is the wife? I gotta give her my condolences, right? *elbows Greg and laughs* Hey, come on. What, I gotta guess, here? *points to Garnet* It's gotta be you. I bet this useless lump needs a big girl to keep him in line. You're not big, I'm just saying. You're tall, not, you know. ]

ON TOP OF THE.... BIG GIRL COMMENT WHICH IS JUST....

there’s still the implication that he is both close to the family and hurt by Gregs seemingly sudden and immidiate leave, implying that he also ignored Gregs obvious depression and unhappiness in the family.

HOWEVER this is also shown immidiately after when he expresses anger at Greg legally changing his last name, something else probably dear to these tradition-heavy people. ALSO GOING ALONG WITH THAT IS ANDYS XENOPHOBIA AND NOT SO THINLY VEILED RACISM... SO HEADS UP ON THAT IM SO SORRY MY FELLOW  LATINXS... I HATE THIS DUDE UNIRONICALLY NGL

[ Andy: *surprised* Andy Demayo. Greg DeMayo. Steven DeMayo. We're the DeMayos. Greg: Actually, we're, umm... the Universes, now. Andy: *gets angry* You space walnut! You didn't even keep the family name? But you're goin' around givin' family property out like candy on... some... kind of... candy-givin'-out holiday?! Steven: You're telling me Universe isn't a real last name?! Greg: It is a real name. I had it changed. Andy, look, they just really needed a place.  They're alien refugees from space and- Andy: They're illegal aliens!? Wha...? You couldn't even marry an American?! Greg: What does that matter?! Steven: DeMayo's a much cooler name than plain old Universe. Andy: You turned your back on your family just so you could get in with a bunch of weirdo, hippie, Martian immigrants!? *points at Peridot and Lapis* You two, get the heck off my planet, out of my country, and out of my barn! ]

SOOOOOOO YEAH... not saying Greg’s parents would react the same way especially in reference to Steven himself being half-gem but this is one of the only frame of references we have for how Gregs family was other than them condemning his interests and forcibly shaving his head. Which again, not good signs.

ANYWAYS THIS IS ALL BEFORE ANDY “CHANGES” for the better at the end of the episode so take this as you will, but he does mention that he stayed the way the family was for a long long time before they moved a bit further away for retirements sake/were too old to make the trip back. It’s likely they still hold these ideals and are just ... physically changed. SO THATS MY WHOLE POINT HOPE IT WAS CONCISE!!! good day to u!!

#THIS ENTIRE POST MADE ME REGRET GOING OVER THE DIALOUGE FOR THIS EP WHICH I HAD TO DOUBLE CHECK FOR CLARITY BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #steven universe #su future #andy demayo #greg universe #gregs parents #gregs muhfucken parents

[honeypiehotchner]

Trust -- part thirty-eight

It’s Best Man Speech time! Also, I’m a liar. This chapter is not the last. The next one is. Oopsies! ;)

“Pray silence for the best man.”

           You squeeze Sherlock’s hand as he stands to his feet, buttoning his jacket and smoothing it down. He really is nervous.

           But to be fair, you’re a little nervous, too. He wouldn’t let you hear the speech—He wouldn’t let anyone hear it, actually. This is brand new to everyone. And while that should be exciting, since it’s Sherlock, it’s a little nerve-wracking.

           John is beaming, though, grinning from ear to ear – possibly a little buzzed. But he does really love Sherlock, and you know that, even when he doesn’t want to admit it. You know those two have a bond like no other. The Baker Street boys, as Mary calls them.

           “Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends. And, um…others.”

           Sherlock’s stuttering continues, prompting you reach up and thread your fingers through his. He glances down, smiling a little.

           “Telegrams,” you hear your brother mutter, and then Sherlock is back.

           “Right, um…” Sherlock picks up the cards. “First things first, telegrams. Well, they’re not actually telegrams, we just call them telegrams, I don’t know why. Wedding tradition. Because we don’t have enough of that already, apparently.”

           “Sherlock,” you whisper warningly.

           He settles again, nodding. “To Mr. and Mrs. Watson. So sorry I’m unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck, and best wishes, Mike Stamford.”

           Ah, Mike. You chuckle.

           “To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big…big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted.” Sherlock sighs. “Mary, lots of love—Oh.”

           John looks up at him. “Yeah?”

           “…poppet.”

           Mary snickers, leaning forward to catch you stifling your own laughter.

           “Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. Wish your family could’ve seen this.”

           You lean forward at that, giving Mary a look of sympathy as John takes her hand in his, comfortingly.

           Sherlock carries on, not missing a beat. “Special day…Very special day…Love…Love…Love…Love…Love. Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond.”

           Here we go, you think, wanting to smack Sherlock in the arm, but you decide against it.

           “John Watson. My friend, John Watson. John. When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. I confess at first, I didn’t realize he was asking me. When finally, I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. I explained to him that I had never expected this request, and that I was a little daunted in the face of it. I nonetheless promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was, for me, as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, in some ways, very closed to being moved by it. It later transpired that I had said none of this out loud.”

           The room erupts with laughter, especially coming from John. You laughed loudly, too, because that definitely wasn’t the story you remembered John telling you.

           Sherlock begins rummaging in his coat for some cards. “So…done that. Done that. Done that bit. Done that bit.”

           He takes a deep breath. And continues.

           “I’m afraid John that I can’t congratulate you.”

           Your eyebrows furrow. Odd start. Maybe you should’ve forced him to practice the speech in front of you.

           “All emotions, and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society and in time, one feels certain, our entire species.”

           The room stills. You stare down at your hands, a little bit worried for the rest of this, and still regretting the fact that you never took a peek at his speech before today.

           “But anyway, let’s talk about John.”

           “Please,” you hear John clear his throat, shifting around in his seat.

           “If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, it is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides.”

           You tilt your head. That was an insult, wasn’t it?

           “It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel.”

           Is he…serious? He absolutely has to be kidding.

           “And contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity to the family idiot.”

           The room rustles again, and you clasp your hands together, willing yourself to keep listening.

           “The point I’m trying to make it that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous,” Sherlock pauses to look down at you, nudging your arm so you’ll look at him. “I am unaware of the beautiful.” He smiles only softly, then turning to Mary and John. “And uncomprehending in the face of the happy.”

           You smile sadly.

           “So, if I didn’t understand that I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. And certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.

           “John, I am a ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship and the love from the woman sat to my left.”

           Your breath hitches. You weren’t expecting him to mention you at all.

           “But as I am, apparently, your best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion.” Sherlock pauses, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Actually, now I can. Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss. So sorry again about that last one.”

           You chuckle softly. He’ll forever be apologizing for the time he was ‘dead.’

           “So know this. Today, you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man and woman you have no doubt saved. In short, the three people who love you move in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary and Y/N as well when I say we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.”

           You reach up and wipe a stray tear away from your cheek, chuckling a little when Sherlock doesn’t seem to notice he’s gotten the rest of the reception hall crying as well.

           “Ah, yes. Now on to some funny stories about John…” Sherlock frowns. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John? Y/N?”

           “Love…” You shake your head, smiling despite your own watery eyes.

           “Did I do it wrong?”

           “No, you didn’t,” John mutters, pushing his chair back. “Come here.”

           The room applauds while the two of them hug, Sherlock still not understanding anything at all as he tries to continue over the noise. John pats his shoulder and says something to make him stop, but you don’t hear.

           After John is settled back in his chair, Sherlock continues.

           “So, onto some funny stories about John. If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would…be better.” Everyone laughs. “On we go. So, for funny stories, one has to look no further than John’s blog. The record of our time together. Of course, he does tend to romanticize things a big, but then, you know, he’s a romantic.

           “We’ve tackled some strange cases. The Hollow Client. The Poisoned Giant. We’ve had some frustrating cases. Touching cases,” Sherlock rolls his eyes. “And of course, I have to mention, The Elephant in the Room. But we want something very particular for this special day. The Bloody Guardsman.”

           Ah, you remember. The unsolved one. From wedding planning weeks ago.

           “Private Steven Bainbridge had written to us with a concern about someone possibly stalking him. A bloke, no less. Private Bainbridge had just come off guard duty. He’d stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, nothing apparently wrong. He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead from a wound in his stomach but there was no weapon. Where did it go?

           “Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this: A murderer who can walk through walls. A weapon that can vanish. But in all of this, there is only one element which can be said to be truly remarkable. Would anyone like to make a guess?”

           Good lord. You definitely should’ve looked at his speech.

           “Come on, come on. There is actually an element of Q&A to all of this.” Sherlock clears his throat. “Scotland Yard, have you got a theory?”

           “Don’t pick on Greg,” you mutter.

           “Yeah, you. You’re a detective, broadly speaking. Got a theory?”

           Lestrade crosses his arms over his chest, deciding to entertain Sherlock. “Er, um…If the uh, if the blade was propelled through the um…grating in the air vent… Maybe a ballista or a catapult, uh, somebody tiny could crawl in there. So yeah, we’re looking for a dwarf.”

           “Brilliant.”

           “Really?”

           “No.”

           You shake your head.

           “Hello, who was that? Tom.”

           Sure enough, Tom stands from his chair, Molly sending a frightened look your way. This is going to end badly, it always does when Sherlock gets in one of these moods.

           “Got a theory?”

           “He attempted suicide with a blade made of compacted blood and bone. Broke after piercing his abdomen, like a meat…dagger.”

           “A meat dagger?”

           “Yes.”

           “No.”

           Tom sits back down, and Sherlock continues, clearly annoyed. “There was one feature and only one feature of interest in the whole of this baffling case and quite frankly, it was the usual. John Watson. Who while I was trying to solve the murder, instead saved a life.

           “There are mysteries worth solving and stories worth telling. The best and bravest man I know and on top of that he actually knows how to do that. Except wedding planning and serviettes, he’s rubbish at that.”

           Everyone chuckles at the slight joke.

           “The case itself remains the most ingenious and brilliantly planned murder or attempted murder I’ve ever had the pleasure to encounter. The most perfect locked-room mystery of which I am aware.

           “However, I’m not just here to praise John, I’m also here to embarrass him so let’s move onto some—”

           “No, wait. So how was it done?” Greg interrupts.

           “How was what done?”

           “The stabbing.”

           “He never solved it,” you chime.

           “Yes,” Sherlock nods. “I never solved that one. It can happen sometimes. It’s very…very disappointing. Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night.”

           Oh, dear Lord.

           This night was the night you, Mary, and Molly got together and had dinner before having essentially a big sleepover at John and Mary’s. Because John was out with Sherlock all night, apparently doing something along the lines of having a beer at every place they’ve solved a murder.

           It’s okay, you found the idea weird, too. But Molly said she calculated everything correctly, so they should be fine. Even if it was odd that Sherlock asked her to calculate anything in the first place.

           But anyway, while the three of you were drinking wine and sharing idiot stories of your significant others, John and Sherlock were getting absolutely pissed.

           “‘Course, there’s hours of material here, but I’ve cut it down to the really good bits.”

           Apparently, they were only out for two hours before returning to Baker Street. Mrs. Hudson said she nearly had a heart attack when she walked out with her trash to find them snoozing on the stairs, drunkenly mumbling to each other.

           And then they had a client. Of all things, they had a client that night.

           “The Mayfly Man.”

           They also got arrested, which Lestrade wasted no time calling you about and starting off with saying, “You’re not gonna believe this shit.” You thought it was going to be much worse than what it was, but at least Lestrade was able to get them bailed out with no problem. And thankfully, it never turned up in the papers.

           You still remember after that when Sherlock continued investigating. You were sat in his chair when he had probably six or seven laptops open, talking to all of these women who had encountered the Mayfly Man. John was here as well, helping with the case on his day off.

           Apparently, Sherlock had asked a question to the women and immediately every single one of them signed off. You had warned him to let you help, but he didn’t want you to. He didn’t want to come off as too knowing.

           “Why? Why would he date all of those women and not return their calls?” Sherlock slams the laptop closed, straightening up and buttoning his blazer.

           John snorts. “You’re missing the obvious, mate.”

           “Am I?”

           “You are,” you nod. “He’s a man.”

           Sherlock still doesn’t get it. “So? I’m a man.”

           “You’re a different breed,” you chuckle.

           “But why would he change his identity?” Sherlock asks the rhetorical question to the wedding guests, not noticing their lack of interest. “He was married. Obvious, really. Our Mayfly Man was trying to escape the suffocating chains of domesticity and instead of endless nights in watching telly or going to barbeques with the awful, dreadful, boring people he couldn’t stand, he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise to play the field. He was—” Sherlock stops, suddenly surveying the room and seeing their tired faces. He turns to you and you shake your head, motioning for him to stop the story.

           He nods. “On second thoughts, maybe I probably should’ve told you about The Elephant in the Room.

           “However, it does help to further illustrate how invaluable John is to me. I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. I used to think that’s what made me special. Quite frankly, I still do. But a word to the wise: Should any of you require the services of either of us, I will solve your murder, but it will take John Watson to save your life. Trust me on that, I should know. He’s saved mine so many times and in so many ways.

           “This blog,” Sherlock gestures with his phone, “is the story of two men and their frankly ridiculous adventures. Of murder, mystery, and mayhem. But from now on, there’s a new story. A bigger adventure.”

           You watch with a smile as Sherlock glances to the happy couple, and then you watch in surprise as he looks to you.

           “Ladies and gentlemen pray charge your glasses and be upstanding.” You stand with your glass in hand. “Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Hamish Watson. The two reasons why every single one of us is—”

           Sherlock freezes.

           His glass falls from his hands, but no matter about that. You know that look in his eyes. He’s gone. Albeit for a split second, but he’s gone.

           It’s almost like he’s gone to his mind palace.

           The glass shatters as it hits the floor, the noise startling Sherlock back into the real world. He blinks, looking down at the mess he made and tries to brush past it.

           “Oh, sorry, I—” He shakes his head, clearing his throat.

           “Another glass, sir?”

           “Thank you, yes. Thank you. Now, where were we?”

           “Sherlock…” You whisper.

           He looks to you briefly before continuing on. “Ah, yes, raising glasses and standing up. Very good, thank you… And down again.”

           You sit down quickly, casting a worried glance in John and Mary’s direction. The rest of the guests follow, confusion coating their faces.

           “Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you not to milk a good speech. Get off early, leave them laughing. Wise advice I’ll certainly try to bear in mind, but for now…”

           “Sherlock!” You hiss as he jumps over the table.

           “Part two!” He walks down the middle. “Part two is more action based, I’m gonna walk around, shake things up a bit.

           “Who’d go to a wedding? That’s the question? Who would bother to go to any lengths to get themselves to a wedding…? Well, everyone!” Sherlock turns around, clapping his hands. “Weddings are great. Love a wedding.”

           Mary leans forward to look at you. “What’s he doing?”

           “Something’s wrong,” you whisper back. “I don’t know what.”

           “And John’s great, too,” Sherlock points back to the front. “I haven’t said that enough, barely scratched the surface. I could go on all night about the depth and complexity of his jumpers. And he can cook, does a thing – A thing with peas, once. Might not be peas, might not be him, but he’s got a great singing voice – Or somebody does…

           “Too many, too many, too many, too many!” Sherlock screams. He stops himself, turning back around. “Sorry, too many jokes about John. Now, uh… Where was I? Ah, yes. Speech! Speech. Let’s talk about…murder.”

           “Christ, Sherlock,” you smack your forehead.

           “Sorry, did I say murder? I meant to say marriage. But, you know, they’re…quite similar procedures when you think about it, the participants tend to know each other and it’s over when one of them’s dead. In fairness, murder is a lot quicker, though.”

           You watch as Sherlock pulls out his phone and begins texting behind his back – something you hate when he does, but now it’s only worrying you further.

           “Jeff, the gents.” Sherlock looks at Lestrade.

           “It’s Greg!”

           “The loos, please.”

           “Why?”

           “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s your turn?” Sherlock nods toward the door as Lestrade’s phone beeps. So, Sherlock was texting him. You wish he’d text you to let you know what the hell is going on right now.

           Lestrade looks at his phone and his eyes widen. “Yeah, actually, now that you mention it.” And he disappears through the doors.

           “Sherlock,” John calls out. “Any chance of an end date to this speech? We’ve gotta cut the cake.”

           “Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, can’t stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once – Vatican Cameos.”

           Your eyes widen. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

           “What did he just say?”

           You scoot over to Sherlock’s seat next to John’ careful of the broken glass. “Vatican Cameos,” you murmur. “It means someone’s going to die.”

           “Not you, not you, you,” Sherlock points to John. “It’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right.”

           John stands to meet Sherlock. “What do I do?”

           “You’ve already done it,” Sherlock whispers, glancing to you. “Don’t solve the murder. Save the life.

           “Sorry,” Sherlock inhales sharply, turning back around. “Off-piste a bit, back now, phew! Let’s play a game. Let’s play murder. Imagine someone’s going to get murdered at a wedding. Who exactly would you pick?”

           “I think you’re a popular choice at the moment, dear,” you hear Mrs. Hudson say, bringing a small smile to your face.

           “If someone could move Mrs. Hudson’s glass just slightly out of reach, that would be lovely. More importantly, who could you only kill at a wedding?”

           Your eyes widen. They lock with Sherlock’s. There’s a brief moment where you wonder if it’s you. After all, this morning was the only time you traveled without Sherlock in a long time. But it doesn’t make sense, you don’t fit. He’s here with you now, and no one was close to you when he wasn’t.

           Sherlock shakes his head slightly. You’re safe.

           “Most people you can kill just any old place,” he continues. “As a mental exercise, I’ve often planned the murder of friends and colleagues. Now, John, I’d poison. Sloppy eater, dead easy. Y/N is a different story. To poison her would ultimately insure my own death sentence. Lestrade’s so easy to kill, it’s a miracle no one’s succumbed to the temptation. I’ve got a pair of keys to my brother’s house, I could easily break in there and asphyxiate him…if the whim arose.

           “So, once again, who could you only kill here?”

           Sherlock’s eyes lock with yours again and you mouth, “Isolated.”

           “Clearly, it’s a rare opportunity, so it’s someone who doesn’t get out much. Someone for whom a planned social encounter known about months in advance is an exception. Has to be a unique opportunity. And since killing someone in public difficult, killing them in private isn’t an option. Someone who lives in an inaccessible or unknown location, then. Someone private, perhaps, obsessed with personal security. Possibly someone under threat.”

           When Sherlock looks to Major James Sholto, you sigh, letting your eyes fall closed. You should’ve known from the minute your brain told you it had to be someone who is truly isolated. Major Sholto is the only one true fit to that statement.

           “Or, a recluse,” Sherlock speaks, now obviously filling the time as he writes something on a card. “Small, house hold staff. High turnover for additional security. Probably have all signed confidentiality agreements.

           “There is another question that remains, however, a rather big one. How would you do it? How do you kill someone in public? There has to be a way. This has been planned.”

           Your eyes widen. “The Bloody Guardsman,” you blurt. “The killer that can walk through walls. The weapon that vanishes.”

           Sherlock stares off when he hears you, Major Sholto standing and leaving in the meantime. Sherlock nods to you. “Not just planned, planned and rehearsed.”

           He slides back up to the front, grabbing a random glass. “Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude. To the bride and groom!”

           Everyone stands for the toast, but Sherlock whirls around, leaning down to the table. “Major Sholto’s going to be murdered. I don’t know how or by whom but it’s going to happen.” Sherlock abruptly kisses you on the forehead before turning and moving his way through the crowd. “Excuse me, coming through, consulting.”

           John gives Mary a kiss before standing, looking to the both of you and saying, “Stay here.”

           As soon as he gets around the table, though, you and Mary look at each other and nod. You stand, linking arms and pushing your way through the crowd, careful not to trip on your dresses as you search for where Sherlock and John went.

           You round the corner just as your brother is laying into Sherlock for not remembering Major Sholto’s room number.

           You roll your eyes and say, “207,” as you and Mary push between them.

           The four of you bound up the stairs and to the left, Major Sholto’s door right at the end of the hall. Sherlock immediately begins banging on the door, trying the handle.

           “Major Sholto!” Sherlock yells, hitting the door with an open hand.

           The Major speaks from behind the door. “If someone’s about to make an attempt on my life, it won’t be the first time. I’m ready.”

           “Major,” John steps forward. “Let us in. Or I’ll kick this bloody door down.”

           “I really wouldn’t,” he calls out. “I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes.”

           “You’re not safe in there. Whoever’s after you, we know that a locked room doesn’t stop him.”

           “Yes, I know. The invisible man with the invisible knife.”

           “I don’t know how he does it, so I can’t stop him and that means he’ll do it again.”

           “Solve it, then.”

           “I’m sorry?”

           “You’re the famous Mr. Holmes. Solve the case, on you go. Tell me how he did it, and I’ll open the door.”

           Sherlock shakes his head, stepping away.

           “Please, this is no time for games. Just let us in, you’re in danger!” John’s voice cracks on a matter of urgency, and the knot is your stomach is twisting dangerously tight.

           “So are you, so long as you’re here,” the Major counters. “Please, leave me. Despite my reputation, I really do not approve of collateral damage.”

           “Solve it,” Mary blurts.

           “Sorry?”

           “Solve it and he’ll open the door, like he said.”

           “I couldn’t solve it before, how can I solve it now?”

           “Because it matters now!” Mary cries.

           “What are you talking about? What’s she talking about? Get your wife under control.”

           “She’s right,” John replies, deadly serious.

           “Oh, you’ve changed!”

           You smack Sherlock’s arm harshly, finally succumbing to the urge you’ve had all evening. “Shut up!” Sherlock looks back at you, dejected and holding his shoulder where you hit it. “She’s right. You are not a puzzle solver, you idiot, you never were. You’re a goddamned drama queen. Now, there is a man in there about to die, the game is fucking on, solve it.”

           Sherlock’s eyes widen, though you can’t tell if it’s in shock or realization, but then he turns to the door, and you hear he’s solved it. “Major Sholto, no one’s coming to kill you. I’m afraid you’ve already been killed several hours ago.”

           “What did you say?”

           “Don’t take off your belt.”

           “The belt,” you mutter. “Of course.”

           “Bainbridge was stabbed hours before we even saw him. But it was through his belt – tight belt, worn high on the waist. Very easy to push a small blade through the fabric and you wouldn’t even feel it.”

           “The belt would bind the flesh together when it was tight. And when you took it off…” John trails away.

           “Exactly. Delayed action stabbing.”

           “Neat,” you mutter, then realizing what you’ve said, you grimace. “Sorry.”

           “You’re supposed to open the door, Major, he solved the case.”

           Silence.

           “Whatever you’re doing in there James, stop it, right now, I will kick this door down!” John yells.

           “You and I are very similar Mr. Holmes,” the Major continues. “There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?”

           “There is.”

           “And one should embrace it when it comes. Like a soldier.”

           “Of course, but not at John’s wedding!” Sherlock screams. “We wouldn’t do that, would we, you and me? We would never do that to John Watson.”

           Sherlock steps away from the door, and right as John is getting ready to ram his foot through the door, it opens.

           John and Mary disappear into the room, leaving you and Sherlock in the hallway. He suddenly picks you up by your waist and spins you around, setting you down to press a firm kiss to your lips.

           “You’re a drama queen, too,” he pouts.

           “Shut up,” you shake your head, pulling him back into you for another kiss.

#bbc sherlock #bbc sherlock fanfiction #bbc sherlock fanfic #Sherlock Holmes #Sherlock Holmes fanfiction #sherlock x reader #Sherlock Holmes x Reader #the sign of three #best man speech #female!reader #watson!reader #half-sibling!reader #soft #john watson #mary watson #wedding day

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 109: Last One Out of Beach City

“What if I told you that the world was gonna end, and you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?”

Steven and the Stevens and Hit the Diamond are my two favorite episodes of Steven Universe for reasons I’ve written about at length, but beyond encapsulating the essence of the series and characters and all that, it should be noted that they’re just plain fun. Last One Out of Beach City is smaller in scale, zeroing in on one of the show’s earliest defined relationships and basking in its evolution from a feud to a deep friendship, so it’s harder to use as a stand-in for the show as a whole. But even if it isn’t my third-favorite episode of the series, it stands hand in hand with my top two when it comes to the charm factor.

Last One Out of Beach City is a delight from start to finish. Jesse Zuke’s legendary “Bad Pearl” sketch comes to life in the best way imaginable, and Deedee Magno Hall solidifies her place as my MVP of a killer lineup of voice actors. Actual human being Mike Krol gets tossed into this alternate universe like it was nothing. Crimes are committed. Swears are censored by screeching tires. Juice is spat. Cups, spilt.

This is the promise of Zuke’n’Florido’s brilliant opening sequence of Beta fulfilled: Steven and some Gems hanging out not for half an episode, but an entire one. It’s got sight gags aplenty, supplementing some of the best comedy writing in the series, mixed with the soul-warming joy of watching characters we love getting along. So lest I just turn this review into gushing about individual jokes and lines and moments, let’s dive into why each character we see is terrific, starting with the scofflaw herself.

Last One Out of Beach City does for Pearl what Back to the Moon does for Amethyst and Mindful Education does for Garnet: we see the result of her character growth in Act II, and even if the Mystery Girl looks a lot like Rose, it’s still a huge step forward for our lady of perpetual mourning to develop a crush on someone new (and to be so low-key polite to Greg). The romantic subplot alone could drive an episode, but Pearl gets so many more hats than “girl with a crush” here: she’s a nerd, a badass, a criminal, and a middle-aged mom all at once. She vacillates between genuinely cool and desperately uncool until she fuses these extremes together to become a confident square; it’s perhaps Deedee Magno Hall’s best Pearlformance that doesn’t include singing, and that’s saying a lot. Between her voice acting, the lines themselves (“This is why we buckle up”), and the sheer sense of catharsis from seeing her choosing to move forward with her life, this is my favorite Pearl episode. And that’s saying a lot.

Pearl has always had a weird relationship with humanity. She's distant from modern culture compared to Amethyst, and her misunderstandings about human stuff is often played for laughs, but she’s also a crack car mechanic and is enamored with human concepts like knighthood. She’s not completely removed from society, but chooses not to engage unless something in particular catches her fancy. So it’s fascinating to see her associating moving forward with performing more human activities; she’s embracing Earth as it is, not as it was when the Gem War was raging, and she’s not letting lingering envy from Rose’s love of humans like Greg get in her way.

The reason this works so well is that it’s clearly performative, rather than an actual sudden personality shift. She’s still a homebody who likes puzzles and hanging out with her kid. She’s still snooty, both with her friends (dismissing the idea that anyone could be nostalgic for something as “new” as suburbs) and with her crush (“By the way, I saved your planet and your species and you're welcome”). And she’s still nervous as all get-out, but brave enough to push forward anyway.

Pearl’s maternal nature isn’t ignored, but used as fuel for her attempt at rebirth. There’s a huge difference between an awkward person putting themselves out there for the first time and a semi-retired hellraiser who, after settling into a comfortable groove, seeks to relive her glory days. She’s been dwelling on the negative for so long that she feels out of touch with her adventurous side, to the point where wearing pants and drinking juice is adventurous, but because we know Pearl so well by now we can actually appreciate how big of a deal these minor accomplishments are for her.

While it’s refreshing to see Pearl moving on from Rose, it’s perhaps even greater to see how far her relationship with Amethyst has come. While their longstanding rivalry softened during the Week of Sardonyx, we haven’t gotten them alone together since, and it just feels so nice to see Amethyst ribbing Pearl with that extra burst of sisterly affection, and Pearl loosening up enough to not take every slight personally.

As with Pearl, Amethyst works here because her personality hasn’t been erased; again, she’s still ragging on Pearl. The plot gets rolling because of Amethyst’s well-established fascination with humanity, and Pearl’s decision to see the show is prompted in part by wanting to impress Amethyst, something she never would’ve cared about in Season 1. And for all her teasing, Amethyst encourages Pearl every step of the way, not just out of solidarity but because she’s legitimately impressed.

And in a world where Pearl and Amethyst are egging each other on, Steven has to step up and be practical. I appreciate that his sense of responsibility and realism doesn’t make him a jerk or a brat, but more of a peer than ever among his fellow Crystal Gems. When pointing out the pink-haired elephant in the room, he’s not condemning or teasing Pearl: he’s just clearing the tension, and showing that he’s more aware of the situation than a younger Steven might have been. In this episode, Steven is the friend who looks for a gas station when his buds are freaking out about running out of fuel.

By now Steven feels comfortable with his place in the team, and with his relationships with Amethyst and Pearl as individuals. A version of this episode placed earlier in the series might’ve been about Pearl and Amethyst fighting for his attention, or Steven vying for attention from either of them, but by now he’s happy to do a puzzle with Pearl and to go to a concert with Amethyst, and there’s zero conflict. Immaturity shouldn’t be a go-to character beat anymore, and I love that Steven is acting his age.

Mystery Girl turns out to be more of a device than a character, as we never see her again. But I honestly think that’s fine; what matters is that Pearl is willing to put herself out there, and the result isn’t a new relationship with a new love interest but a new relationship with humanity. The Pearl of Bismuth Casual, hanging out with a posse of human friends and showing off her Gem powers with glee, owes everything to the Pearl of Last One Out of Beach City, and thus everything to Mystery Girl. Perhaps they had a thing at some point. Perhaps they still do have a thing. We don’t know, because Pearl has new hobbies outside of being a Crystal Gem, and that’s the victory.

An in terms of the show’s greater plot, if our new friend never gave Pearl her number, Pearl never would’ve gotten a phone, so A Single Pale Rose never would’ve happened. Perhaps one day he would’ve learned the truth, but certainly not before Yellow and Blue Diamond arrived to wage war on the planet. So thanks for saving the world, Mystery Girl!

The use of music from our universe lends Last One Out of Beach City a uniquely realistic tone compared to the rest of the series; perhaps any such music would do the trick, but a garage rocker is an apt choice for setting a grounded mood. We get a glimpse of Greg’s life outside of being a dad, as he socializes not only with Amethyst but Barb and Vidalia. The car chase lurches to reality when we learn that Pearl doesn’t have a driver’s license, and explicit references are made to the DMV and Pearl’s citizenship. It’s like knowing Steven’s exact age, or having Greg break his leg in Ocean Gem instead of getting a nondescript injury, or hearing Dr. Maheswaran describe PTSD using terms like “cortisol”: these concrete details make these characters feel more like real people. And considering this is a character-centric episode in a show where characters are pretty much always at the center anyway, that realism gives us a deeper connection to what our heroes are going through.

Pearl is by no means a teenager, and the critical element of reclaiming her mojo muddles direct comparisons to a teen protagonist, but the emotional honesty of Last One Out of Beach City makes me feel nostalgic, and not just for the suburbs. Driving around, not quite following the rules, and bouts of chasing meaning when you’re not as interested in traditional adolescent social activities? Those were my teenage years. I don’t always miss them, but this episode brings out the best of my memories.

There’s really not much else to say. I could spend another few paragraphs incoherently gushing about the writing and the animation and the voice work, but I promise the time you’d spend reading that would be better spent rewatching the episode. While I maintain my comparison to Beta, Last One Out of Beach City does stand in opposition to Peridot’s first Meep Morp: it has no functional purpose, it just makes me feel good.

Future Vision!

I already brought up how Mystery Girl’s number prompts A Single Pale Rose, but that episode itself shows that Pearl’s a lot slicker than she thought she was. That’s a lot of codes!

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Not sure why we get a Halloween-themed promo for an episode that has nothing to do with Halloween and aired in early September, but this is me not complaining about that. (Apparently it’s actually a reference to a Japanese tradition but I don’t watch enough anime to know more about that.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not my third favorite, but this episode is really high up there. The cream of the crop are episodes that give me the purest emotional reactions: Mirror Gem nails dread, Lion 3 and Alone Together embody two different kinds of wonder, and Steven and the Stevens, Hit the Diamond, and Last One Out of Beach City just make me unspeakably happy.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

#last one out of beach city #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[onisionhurtspeople]

Quick question, what was the whole thing with sarah? Something about how they were technically legal guardians, she was 15, but wanted to be in the """"triad""""?

You pretty much got it. I might make a longer post about this later to explain the entire history for newcomers (and I’m thinking about doing this across a wide range of Onision topics), but essentially what happened is that Lainey met Sarah online about four years ago, when Lainey was 20 and Sarah was 14. People started speaking up out of concern right away after perusing some of the public conversations between the two on Twitter and realizing how much of it was sexual in nature, such as Lainey joking about how Sarah’s grooming was coming along nicely.

People were rightfully concerned about this, as it was more than clear by this point that Greg has a predominant sexual interest in teenage girls (though he is very careful to make sure never to shack up with a girl who is younger than the age of consent in her state). 

The drama surrounding this relationship exploded when Sarah, now 15, began popping up in videos with Greg, Lainey, Billie, and Ayallah. The Avaroes began catching a lot of flack for this online - I remember the time very well; in between the period of Greg’s tumultuous and highly dramatic public relationship with Shiloh in 2011, and the period in late 2015 when an online journalist wrote an article about Greg rating the bodies of underage girls (which predated all of their drama with Billie), I don’t think I can recall any other incident in that time that they caught more criticism for. Lainey specified repeatedly in YouNow livestreams that she had parental guardianship over Sarah at the time - not Greg, not Sarah’s mother or father, but Lainey herself. Click here if you want to watch that stream.

Sometime in 2016, a couple of really creepy things happened in quick succession: the first was when a former friend of the Avaroes revealed that Sarah had repeatedly expressed an interest in being part of the “triad” (the “polyamorous” relationship between Greg, Lainey, and their girlfriend Billie), in the sense that she wanted to start being included during their sexual trysts; Greg apparently refused this. The second was when - after another falling out with yet another former friend - this friend (who was also a teenage girl! Shocking!), whose name was Lane, revealed that Sarah had told her several times about Greg repeatedly telling both she and Lainey that he thought they were going to end up together one day, and that in his opinion they should try dating each other. Sarah admitted later that she did remember Greg telling her several times that she should try being with Lainey, but Greg denied this and said that he and Lainey have had to tell Sarah repeatedly that they will never be more than just friends (which begs the question: if you have to tell a 15-year-old girl over TEN TIMES that they are never going to be able to date or have sex with your wife, then why are you still letting that girl live in your house? Why are you still bathing naked in front of that girl?) What’s so creepy about this last event in particular is the fact that not only was Sarah only 16, but also that at the time, Lainey had guardianship rights over Sarah - she was acting in the capacity of her legal guardianship, LITERALLY HER PARENT IN EVERY WAY, while Greg was trying to push the idea of them having sex together. 

One of the creepiest things that some of the farmers in the lolcow and Kiwifarms forums discovered was that it is (or, at least, was) a regular enough occurrence for Lainey to allow Sarah to watch her shower and bathe that he eventually had to tell Lainey to knock it off. This was confirmed (as well as it can be without direct substantiation from the involved parties) when farmers found a picture from Lainey’s private Instagram that was taken of her nude in the shower - but Sarah was the one taking the photo. This was doubly confirmed when some apparently “fake” screenshots of Lainey’s private Twitter account surfaced of her accusing Sarah of watching her bathe; yet despite their apparent lack of authenticity, when they were sent to Sarah by a concerned party, she reacted to the fake tweets nervously, which seemed to confirm that even if they were fake, the accusations in them appeared to be legitimate.

In summary: Sarah is a lost and confused barely-18-year-old girl with a mental illness who is very very clearly desperately in love with Lainey, and seems to have confused her feelings of love, friendship, admiration, safety, and gratitude towards Greg and Lainey as the ones who took her out of a sexually abusive home life and provided her with a safe and stable living situation (in her eyes, anyway) with romantic attraction. She’s also never really had many friends her own age due to both the instability of her upbringing as well as the fact that she spent a good chunk of her teenage years living with Greg and Lainey, and the revolving door of paid collaborators and fresh teen puss that Greg had flying through their house constantly (like Billie, Ayallah, Sam, Beck, Madison, and Maya, at the very least). 

Greg saw this vulnerable teenage girl as at best an opportunity to get his wife off his back by providing her with a subservient friend who would help her with child-rearing and chores and all of the emotional support that Greg wasn’t willing to do for Lainey, and at worst a soft trial to see how well she’d fit in as their third. Meanwhile, although Lainey professes to have Sarah’s best interest at heart, her actions contradict that regularly. She has done many things to betray Sarah’s trust, but the poor girl is so blinded by love that all the red flags she’s seeing through her rose-colored glasses just look like regular flags to her. Lainey has, for example, repeatedly used Sarah as a sort of emotional garbage can, such as when the two of them sat down to talk to Billie to ask her not to sleep with Greg - why the fuck would you bring a 15-year-old girl into such adult issues because you’re too weak to stand up to your own husband? Every time they send Sarah home out of spite over some minor perceived infraction, Lainey ignores her for weeks or even months at a time until Sarah has sent a sufficiently large quantity of gifts for the Avaroes to decide to “forgive” her past misdeeds, and welcomed her graciously back into their home. She repeatedly fails to defend Sarah against Greg’s insinuations, harsh words, and sexual harassment, such as allowing him to taunt her, calling her fat and plain. The last time that Sarah was sent home, it was because Greg had made a sexual comment towards her that made her feel uncomfortable (”Dat booty doe”); and Lainey, instead of protecting her underage best friend from her sexual predator of a husband, decided to tattle on her instead. And so Greg punished her disloyalty by sending her home, and she’s never been back since until this past weekend, when everything exploded again with renewed allegations that they’ve been grooming this girl since she was fourteen years old. These people are horrific.

Accidentally ended up writing a novel again. Sorry, guys. ;A;

#onision #laineybot #sarah #question #summary

[enixamyram]

Hey, guess what, I’ve found another screen rant I want to react to! I wasn’t planning to do any more but, reading through this article, I just have SO many problems with it... So Let’s do another, agree or disagree with a Screenrant article made by someone with no bias at all. (Sarcasm for the last part by the way.) So let’s see:

Agreed with this point. People act like, if the characters weren’t on screen then they disappeared or something. Maybe they were just living their own lives?

... I don’t even understand this article. Apparently this is 20 things people get wrong and this point is that the timeline can make sense, but then OP goes on to say “However, the more characters were introduced and the more worlds the characters ventured into, it became clearer and clearer that time didn't work the same way everywhere... However, in a world of fairytales, expecting anything more than that is simply asking too much. What does it matter, exactly, when some of these events took place as long as we know that they were a long time ago in a universe not at all like our own?”

Like, so that means this isn’t something people get wrong - the timeline DOESN’T make sense - so what the hell is it doing in this article? You can’t claim you’ve solved it just because you shrug and go “yeah but it’s magic so what do you expect?”

I mean the text directly conflicts the title/bullet point. Luckily I can still safely say I disagree, both with the title and the text because the timeline became f*cked, and just making an embarrassed shrugging face doesn’t change that.

I can’t even say disagree because this is just plain wrong! I don’t quite understand this writer. I can’t tell what they’re deal is, like did they just give a poor title to their article?

Season 1 - The Original Curse Season 2 - Belle and Sneezy lost their memories. Season 3 - Everyone lost a year. Season 5 - Camelot Season 6 - Emma lost her memories Season 7 - Another Curse.

Notice how I left out 4? Well this is where I’m getting confused because this is what OP had to say about Season 4: “While season four dabbled with alternate universes, memories were never wiped or reset in the way they were in every other season.”

... But their memories WERE wiped! They were essentially in a curse because their memories WERE wiped and they WERE given new identities just like the original curse. So yes, memory wipes did in fact happen every single season!

So I can’t agree or disagree because maybe some people do call Ruby a lesbian, but most everyone I talk to calls her bi... So I’ma just skip this one.

Note: She’s bi people. This is canon. If you don’t agree then tough shit.

Agreed, there’s plenty of other ways true love can be proven. TLK is probably just the most convenient, lol.

Kind of agree? I mean I think most people do know and acknowledge this but I guess it can sometimes escape people without realising in passing sentences?

This is true. It was a lame and terrible reveal that made no sense but it was revealed.

... Like, I’m getting confused again. Because this title either doesn’t fit or the writer lives under a rock because no one get’s this wrong! Everyone - rightfully - calls out Zelena for what she did. Even Zelena fans admit what she did was messed up!

... I do agree, I don’t think she made up for all the awful things she did and she definitely became “one of the team” way too quickly for my liking. (I’m hesitant because I suddenly have an idea what side of the fandom wrote this article and I can pretty much predict where it’s going.)

AND THERE IT IS!

DISAGREE.  DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE.

“Nothing says good guy like being an older man who takes advantage of a young girl, impregnates her, and lets her go to jail for crimes you yourself committed.” First off, we don’t know his age. Second, he didn’t ‘impregnant’ her. She got pregnant. It takes two to tango though I doubt the writer knows this. And third, Emma went to jail for HER crimes. Sorry, dear writer, but let me just fill you in. Aiding and abetting a fellow criminal IS A CRIME! Emma did wrong and she was punished for it. I don’t necessarily agree with what Neal did but he is not responsible for where Emma ended up.

“Even further, nothing says good guy like someone who mocks the woman he allegedly loves for the years of trauma, suffering, and scars she endured as a result of your callous, selfish behavior.” ... WHEN?!

“... Neal Cassidy became more and more like the selfish, frequently malicious parents who raised him.” ... Again, WHEN?! Like seriously, selfish maybe but malicious?!

“In no world would he have been the right man for Emma or a good father to Henry because he could never accept accountability for any of his many wrongdoings.” Except, you know, Neal knew Henry all of five minutes and was already dedicated to being a great dad to him and literally was WAY better at being a father to Henry than Hook ever was to the kid. And I added the Hook part because my God, the writer of this article couldn’t be more obvious a CS shipper if they had every sentence end with swans and pirate flags.

It’s amazing how, even dead, they’re still threatened by Neal’s character.

Maybe this was true in S6, but by S7 they had clearly retconned it, making the Wish Realm a very real place. Otherwise there’s a ton of plot holes and you’ve got to be a real idiot to say you’d rather accept plot holes than that the Wish Realm might actually be real.

(Also, just saying, another terrible title because what happened to Emma and Regina when they were in the Wish Realm very much DID happen. So again, really poor titles for this article that clearly doesn’t know what it’s point is.)

... She VIOLATED everyone’s minds by erasing their memories and TRIED TO MURDER ZELENA!

She may have had good intentions but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a villain for a season! Dude, have you never heard the phrase “the road to hell was paved with good intentions”?! I’ll defend Emma turning Hook into a Dark One for sure, but trying to completely ignore the awful things she did?! Jesus Christ!

Again... What? OP... Everyone already KNOWS this. This article is meant to be things people gets wrong but, honestly, I think OP’s the only idiot who gets things wrong at this point. So I’m once again torn because I agree with the statement but I don’t agree that this is something people get wrong.

*Sigh* OP’s giving me a migraine. Not because their statement is incorrect, but because all their reasoning is!

“Regina, as we know, went back and forth to points outside of Maine many times during the preceding 28 years.” It was actually explained, by Regina herself to Hook in Season 2, that because she (and he) had no cursed memories, crossing the town line would not affect them.

“Greg and Tamara are also able to cross the town lines, with Greg even remembering the tiny town for years and years after a traumatic encounter within it during his childhood.” Again. The town line affects people who ARE CURSED! This is made very clear! Henry can also cross the town line when he went to get Emma.

The title, once again, is misleading. People are able to leave - so long as they don’t CROSS THE TOWN LINE. That’s the part CURSED people are not able to do.

I’ve given up Agreeing and Disagreeing at this point. OP’s points are making my brain hurt so let’s just move on.

You’re right OP. It did serve a purpose. It’s purpose was to be a cash grab!

Apparently OP’s excuse is that Anna and Elsa helped Emma come into her own as a magic user? Like yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Emma had no problem using her magic until they brought Frozen in, then they made a whole storyline of Emma having problems just to justify having Elsa struggle and then help her with it.

And after they left they were barely even mentioned. So, again. NO PURPOSE. (Apart from a cash grab.)

Okay, so actually, I do agree. Regina is still Henry’s mum but the fact is, his adoption can’t be legal because Regina would need to have lied on her application and all the usual checks usually done for people wanting to adopt couldn’t possibly have happened.

I was going to agree on technicality but you know what? No.

DISAGREE!

Just because the couples aren’t perfect doesn’t make them toxic. (Using OP’s examples:) “Robin's relationship with Regina results in his being repeatedly assaulted and fathering a child as a result of that assault.” Wow, dude, wait to blame the girlfriend for some of the bad stuff that happened in Robin’s life. I sure feel sorry for whoever you end up with if this is how you see it. “Hook and Emma frequently lie to one another as well,” Lying does not equal a toxic relationship! Certain lies, maybe, but general lying is just what people do when they’re embarrassed or ashamed or upset. What counts is what you’re lying about and also whether or not you come clean about it.

The only one I’ll agree with is RumBelle but even then OP completely misses the reason WHY they’re a toxic relationship. Instead they generalise it into very un-toxic details.

... Again... Like... I agree with the statement but NO ONE GETS THIS WRONG!

OP is clearly just using this article as an excuse to bash Regina. And I’m not a Regina fan, but no, dude, if you’re gonna do this then make a “20 of the worst things Regina ever did” list. Not a “20 things people get wrong” and then list a bunch of things that one in ten people gets wrong!

And now OP’s repeating. Because I’m pretty sure this was covered in the 4th one? Like, agree. I guess. But it feels like OP was running out of things and figured Regina bashing again would be too obvious or something.

Okay. Now this is something a lot of people won’t agree with but... I do.

I agree the show was intended to be Emma’s story and that it then got popular and other characters got popular and it branched out into something more.

... However OP is still a colossus idiot because they ended on this sentence:

“It's what made the concept of a seventh season without almost any of the Charmings such a laughable concept - and such a colossal failure, as well.” And while Season 7 may not be the masterpiece I pretend it is to piss of anti’s, it is also far from the worst. OP just hates it because their fav wasn’t centre stage and they’re bitter as hell.

Wow this was probably the stupidest article yet. OP either clearly doesn’t know what they were meant to be doing (a list of things people often forget about the show) or they just wanted to make a list where they bitched a few points and couldn’t be bothered to think of a catchy title or reason why. Either way, OP’s an idiot and most of these points are ridiculously dumb.

#Once Upon A Time #Screen Rant #Agree Or Disagree #Ruby Lucas #Killian Jones #Zelena #Robin Hood #Anti Regina Mills #Neal Cassidy #The Wish Realm #Emma Swan #Anti Frozen Arc #Henry Mills #Anti RumBelle #Captain Swan #Outlaw Queen

[mezzopurrloin]

Mezzo Plays Final Fantasy X: Part 11

Yuna and her guardians have managed to escape pursuit, but they'll have to stay away from Bevelle in the future.

They camp in Macalania Woods for the night. Yuna seems to have gone off on her own, though.

Tidus finds her wading in a nearby pond.

He takes the time to apologize to her for everything he cluelessly said, about what she'd do after defeating Sin. Yuna accepts it gracefully, saying that it made her happy, not said.

She thinks that maybe she should just give it all up. Tidus agrees, and says that maybe she could go to Zanarkand with him, enjoy a blitzball game, and party all night long.

But she can't. She can't give it up, not while Sin is still alive.

Romance between the male and female leads of a Final Fantasy is pretty common, but to my knowledge this is the only one with an onscreen kiss.

The lovebirds dive into the pool together, sharing an underwater kiss too.

Yuna's resolve is a bit better after that. She requests that Tidus stay with her until the end, and he agrees. He is her guardian, after all.

They walk back to camp hand in hand, and inform the other guardians that they leave at dawn.

This is their next destination. The Calm Lands are a great plain that lies between Bevelle and the Zanarkand ruins. This is traditionally where summoners defeat Sin and bring the Calm, hence the name.

Yuna lies on her back and looks up at the sky a moment, and then they proceed onward. Unlike most areas in the game, this is one wide open plain rather than a narrow linear path. The encounter rate is pretty high too.

We run into Maechen yet again, and he provides some backstory on the place. This was a battlefield in the great machina war, and was abandoned after the rise of Sin. Summoners found it the best place to fight Sin, as there is no inhabited territory nearby.

Belgemine is here too, and she challenges Yuna to another aeon duel. She isn't really bothered by Yuna being branded a traitor to Yevon, since summoners' true duty is to defeat Sin.

Yep, it's this again.

Nogard barely scraped out a victory. Belgemine is impressed, and thinks Yuna has the potential to defeat Sin.

And she leaves with a hint.

She also gives us the ability to boost aeons' stats using items. This honestly isn't that useful, since the aeons' stats are boosted along with Yuna's anyway.

When they stop at a campsite, an old friend of Lulu's shows up to tell the group what's going on with Yevon. Mika has framed them for Kinoc's murder, and Kelk has left Yevon. Seymour's still at large too, but he and Mika don't seem to be getting along. He says it's best for them to avoid any temples for now, and thankfully there aren't any on the path to Zanarkand.

The chimeras are back, and they've got an edgy recolor now. They're still pretty difficult to deal with.

Stone Breath works like a charm, though.

In an alcove on the eastern side of the field, there's a guy setting up a monster arena. He needs captured fiends to fix it up, and sells weapons with the Capture property, allowing you to catch them. We're not really gonna do much with him now, but it's good to know about as this is important for postgame stuff.

North of the plain lies a small valley, and there a pair of Guado guards request Yuna's presence. She has nothing to discuss with Seymour, naturally.

So they bring in a robot.

This thing is basically just a punch bot, but it punches really hard and has lots of HP. It occasionally retaliates with a rocket punch that delays the target's next turn.

Grand Summon saves the day again. Also, check it out. Nogard is not actually bound by the 9999 damage limit, and with enough power can reach the secondary cap of 99999. This can be unlocked for other characters too, but that's mostly a postgame thing.

After the robot was junked, I decided not to head forward just yet. There's an alternate path here that leads to something good.

At the bottom of the gorge lies the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth. Lulu knows the place well, as a summoner she guarded once lost her life here.

The cave, as its name suggests, holds a fayth stolen from a temple. There are some new fiend types in here too.

These guys are gimmicky and annoying. There are five targetable eyes on their pot and you have to pick the right one. If you do, you get an item. If you guess wrong, it explodes.

Wakka and Lulu explain that the fayth was likely stolen to prevent summoners from using it to train, and thus, prevent them from sacrificing themselves.

Hey, we finally found one of these, and now we can activate a Luck Sphere! I decided to place it on Rikku's path, since she seems to be the lucky one.

These purple things are dark elementals. They're similar to the other elemental-based fiends we've seen, but have no weakness. They can also cast a lot of nasty spells like Bio and Osmose, which drains MP (luckily, Kimahri's Lancet can drain it back). They cast Reflect on themselves too, and will then reflect spells off of themselves onto you.

Yuna got a new trick to help deal with them. Her Dispel magic removes all buff effects from an enemy, and ignores reflection. Then Lulu and Kimahri can use their spells to finish it off.

We've picked up a couple of these spheres for the Sphere Grid, and they're quite handy. They let one character immediately learn an ability of the specified type, provided an ally has already acquired it. I used the Special Sphere to teach Steal to Kimahri, as it's always good to have more people who can snatch items.

Lulu learned the spell Demi, and thanks to a black magic sphere Kimahri got it too. If you remember the tutorial boss, this spell deals damage equal to 1/4 of the enemy's current HP. It's really good to use on high HP enemies, and Lulu can cast it with her Overdrive to dish out some fast-paced whittling down. Bosses are often immune, unfortunately.

There she is, the unsent soul of the summoner Lulu failed to protect. Yuna attempts a sending, but is blocked by an unknown force.

Lulu: "Allow me to perform my last duty to you. My last as your guardian."

She summons an aeon we haven't seen before.

Yuna's Grand Summon is ready to go.

A devastating blow, but not quite enough to finish him off.

Everyone else had to step in, including Lulu of course.

After the aeon dies, her soul is sent.

They can now proceed to the chamber of the fayth.

This fayth asks to be paid before he will join us. His offer: 250,000 gil. Unfortunately, I can't afford that right now, so it's back off to grinding a bit and selling things off. Getting everyone further along the Sphere Grid will help with those late game bosses anyway.

The nice thing about this being a screenshot LP is that I can skip over a lot of that. But I will take the time to point out a few new fiend types that show up, like this ghost here.

Its Doom special places a countdown over a character that decreases every turn. When it runs out, they will die.

Kimahri can learn this as an Overdrive too. Once the ghost was doomed, I had Tidus cast Haste on it, ensuring its counter would count down faster than mine.

Boom.

I also went back up to the Calm Lands and did some grinding there. This guy has "bad news" written all over him.

Its Bad Breath deals out pretty much every negative status of the game, save death and petrification. Still, I had to fight it because yes, Kimahri learns that as an Overdrive too.

The basilisks from Djose Highroad got an edgy color upgrade too. Rikku (and Kimahri, now that he knows Steal too) can steal petrification grenades from them, a very useful tool.

I also got the chance to try out a new spell for Lulu. Death summons the grim reaper to take an enemy's soul, ending its life instantly. It doesn't always work, but when it does, it ends the fight in a snap.

I managed to negotiate the price down to 208,000 gil, and the fayth was satisfied.

His canon name is Yojimbo, and I got three different people saying I should call him Greg. It's apparently a XIV joke, but I haven't played far enough in XIV to see it. Whatever, his name is Greg now.

On the way back, I ran across a mysterious apparition.

Hoo boy, we do not need to be dealing with you right now. This is one of the Dark Aeons, the postgame superbosses. Each one mimics the appearance of an aeon we have. I didn't even realize this thing could show up at this point in the game, and challenging it would be suicide, so I didn't come any closer. Thankfully, there's a nearby warp to go back to the entrance.

Greg is unlike any other aeon we've obtained. To use him, you must pay gil for his services, and then he'll randomly use one of his four special attacks. He doesn't have an Overdrive, but filling the bar makes it more likely for him to use his strongest move. Daigoro is an attack from his dog, Kotetsu is a set of throwing knives, and Wakizashi is a slash with the blade at his hip. If you pay him nothing, he leaves.

And the last one... somehow I was lucky enough to get this on the second try, even though I only paid 200 gil.

This blade deals death, and absolutely nothing can avoid or resist it. Even bosses are slain in a single stroke. If that sounds game breaking, well, it is, but it's balanced out by its extreme rarity. You have to be really lucky for him to use this move.

With that out of the way, we are ready to resume Yuna's pilgrimage, but the next step on the path won't be easy...

#mezzo's screenshot lps #final fantasy x