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rokatanonc · 3 months

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Commentaries concerning Elven Naming Traditions of Middle-earth on RealElvish.net

Recently I read this (https://realelvish.net/naming/middleearthelves/) article on RealElvish.net because I was curious about it and, in a way, I was amused by it. It amused me how epically the article’s writer has failed. Or more like, I would have been happier if I was indeed amused. Truth is, after I finished reading I was enormously embarrassed on the writer’s behalf and could not quite imagine where the person in question had sucked all this stuff out.

So, I decided to let the steam off by writing a critique about it. Let us proceed from paragraph to paragraph. This will seem more like some kind of commentary while reading the actual article as I decided to cite it so that you, folks know what I am talking about.

Elven Naming Traditions of Middle-earth If you haven’t read the essay on the Elven naming traditions of Valinor, go back and read it, then read this essay. The conclusions and terminology used in this essay will make more sense if you do so.

If you would prefer to read the mentioned article yourself then you can do so by clicking on the underlined part, but as my humble self is already familiar with the –correct– Valinorean elves’ naming traditions, therefore I did not have to read that essay, but to be fair to those who are not, here is the shortened, simplified version of what they had wrote in there:

The Valinorean elves, specifically the Noldor, had four types of names or essi in Quenya, their language. (The language of the Sindar is referred to as Sindarin.) The three first were called anessi or ‘given names’ as they were bestowed upon an elf by somebody else, but the last type is the cilmessë or ‘chosen name’ as this was chosen by the elves themselves.

The first anessë can be translated as ataressë since it is called ‘father-name’. This was given by the child’s father and it was a public name, so anyone could address a Noldo by it. The second anessë is the amilessë or ‘mother-name’ as this was bestowed upon children by their mothers after they became a bit older. This name too was a public one, though more descriptive and kind of prophetic in its nature. The third anessë is the epessë or ‘after-name’ that could be given by anybody and it was a sort of nickname, if you will. Finally, there was the cilmessë, the name that reflects a Noldo’s personal linguistic tastes. This was a private name and only those close to the elf used and it was considered rude for anyone else who did not know the person well.

So, this is the –tremendously– watered-down version, but please, worry not, I will not begrudge you if you do not believe me and choose to look the topic up. In fact, I do recommend the mentioned essay as it is very helpful and, as you will see later, its insightfulness creates a harsh contrast with this article. Although the constant miswriting of the Quenya accents gets on my nitpicking nerves…

If you are curious to know more about the naming conventions of the Valinorean elves then I also recommend the articles on TolkienGateway.net titled essë (https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Ess%C3%AB) and Elven customs (https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Elven_customs). These three articles together help to have more understanding of the naming traditions of elves living in Aman, especially as RealElvish got a few things wrong regarding which names are public and which are not, plus making up some other things along the way.

Of the naming traditions of the Eldar who lived in Valinor, we know much. However, the naming traditions of the Úmanyar (those who didn’t go to Valinor and stayed in Middle-earth) are largely undocumented. Though Tolkien never explicitly described them, we can guess by looking at their names.

This is absolutely true and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this paragraph, only that later the writer had beautifully cornered themselves in the following text.

The Elves of Beleriand are the ones most likely to have naming traditions echoing the traditions in Valinor, seeing as they were the closest to Valinor and they had trade and communication going between them. Therefore, when Doriath was conquered and the Sindar fled deeper into Middle-earth to live in the lands of other Telerin Elves, they brought these strong traditions and their language with them. Since the language was adopted, it doesn’t seem too strange that the naming traditions would come along too.

Okay, now it is time to scream: “Silmarillion spoiler alert!” If you are not familiar with the history of elves then I have to recommend you, dear readers, to study it a bit, since the topic is quite complicated and would be too bothersome to explain it in length here. Although you will get some specifics nonetheless but for the sake of my own and your mental health I will merely assume you all know what I am talking about in this part, and be warned that it will be a very long tirade. You have been warned…

The very first part of the sentence seemed innocent enough, but the next one about trading and communication just blew the fuse for me. I found it confusing because, if you think about it, if this had been a canon fact, then a lot of events would have developed very differently compared to what was originally written by Tolkien.

If there would have indeed been trading and communication going between Aman and the realms of Beleriand, then how come the Sindar suffered so much that they thought the Feanorian Noldor their saviours when Morgoth’s army was ordered to confront them, thus enabling the strained Sindar forces to win the First Battle? Because if there was any kind of communication between the two continents then:

1) The Sindarin and Quenya Elvish dialects had never become so different from each other due to the constant transmission of news and there would have been elves living in the Blessed Realm who spoke Sindarin. Naturally, there would have been plenty of discrepancies still, but there would have been more similar loanwords they shared as well since they would inevitably assimilate phrases and expressions.

2) The Sindar would have been capable of speaking with the Noldor without the Noldor ever properly learning Sindarin and translating their essi into those Sindarin equivalents and then Quenya would not have been considered a dead language in the Third Age because of disuse in speech.

3) Círdan, Thingol, Lenwë and the other mention-worthy elven lords, would have been informed about Morgoth’s misdeeds in Aman, thus the dwellers of Beleriand would not have been so surprised by his return.

4) Mentioned elven leaders would have also been informed about the First Kinslaying and so, they would have been completely aware of who the Noldor were and what have they done and there would have been totally no need to pester Galadriel (who was staying in Doriath as a guest) about why the Noldor had returned to the Hither Lands. This would be the case even if there was a (likely) pause in passing information between the continents during the Long Night after the Darkening of Valinor. Also, later, Thingol would not have banned Quenya because no ruler in their right mind would ever prohibit the language of an important trading partner.

Although this does not mean that there was not any kind of trade between Sindar and Noldor, but it is more likely to have happened after the arrival of the Exiles. And even if, at first, they were viewed as God-sent, after the Fëanorians proved to be way too haughty and Thingol learned about the first Kinslaying, I doubt that the Noldor would have been considered important trading partners. Let us not forget that Elu Thingol too was a monarch and had a prideful disposition due to that or else he would have not made the sycophant Saeros into his counsellor.

If there was commerce between the elves of Aman and Beleriand before the Exiles’ arrival then would the Sindarin king not be a bit more affable towards them? The Noldor after all, even with having their own agenda, ended up helping them turn the tables in a very perilous period. In this situation a potentate should have made as many allies as he could because Morgoth’s presence threatened them ceaselessly; the Moriquendi, more than any Elda could fathom, knew exactly just how cruel and devastating that could be. Though the elven tribes had travelled together for a while during the Great Journey, those times were merely a taste of the horror the dark forces were capable of. Moreover, the Eldar had the (far from perfect) protection of the Valar, but the Moriquendi had stayed behind and fended for themselves for practically long millennia.

But Elu Thingol, while not being hostile, had no care for the Noldor save for the children of Finarfin for they were his kin since their mother was Eärwen, daughter of Olwë who was his younger brother. Only the descendants of Eärwen was he willing to let into Doriath and those were five persons at the maximum: Finrod, Angrod and his son, Orodreth, Aegnor and Galadriel. It is clear that Thingol had found the preservation of his kin and loyal subjects more important than gathering confederates. (On a sidenote: Thingol was described as a good friend of Finwë so it is quite a mystery why he was so dismissive of the other Finweans.)

I do not know why he could not see the usefulness of a Noldo-Sindarin alliance. The Exiles were kinslayers indeed, but there were amongst them who regretted their actions. However, regardless of whether they were repentant or not, the Noldor had already proved to be a force to reckon with thus quite valuable in the fight against Morgoth. They also had both Ainur-reinforced technology and knowledge at their disposal; the Noldor were craftsmen and their skills were superior to the Sindar in that regard since they had the opportunity to directly learn from the Ainur. If Thingol could have put aside his pride he could have seen the bigger picture since a Beleriand-wide Noldo-Sindarin alliance would have been far more auspicious in the wars coming.

In The Silmarillion there are quite a few times when Thingol’s self-esteem had made things worse for his very own people he ought to protect. It gradually grows into arrogance and tethers on the edge of madness towards the end of his life. But this is another topic, so just let us say that Thingol had preferred something akin to ostrich policy: he did not deny that there was a problem (Morgoth), but he pretty much ignored it and did not give much afterthought to anything outside the borders of Doriath and refused to cooperate with the Noldor.

5) Finding a way back into Valinor and asking for the Valar’s help would not have been that big of a deal if there would have been continuous trade between Beleriand and Middle-earth. After all, trading routes are a sure way to get to any country and the technology of Valinor could have helped any realm in battles waged against Morgoth. If there indeed were such fixed ways then it could have also spared a lot of effort in getting back to Aman; you would only need a couple of trusty men who would make sure to relay your help-requesting message. Also, the wars fought in the Hither Lands would have been greatly reduced in number thus preventing a lot of tragedies due to the Valar not giving a care about the plight of the Noldor and the free folk of Beleriand, save for the few times when the Valar had interfered. Although most of those were the works of Ulmo alone…

In The Silmarillion, we can read that Manwë had sent Thorondor to Fingon’s aid when he prayed to him so that he could free Maedhros from the peak of Thangorodrim:

Thus Fingon found what he sought. For suddenly above him far and faint his song was taken up, and a voice answering called to him. Maedhros it was that sang amid his torment. But Fingon climbed to the foot of the precipice where his kinsman hung, and then could go no further; and he wept when he saw the cruel device of Morgoth. Maedhros therefore, being in anguish without hope, begged Fingon to shoot him with his bow; and Fingon strung an arrow, and bent his bow. And seeing no better hope he cried to Manwë, saying: ‘O King to whom all birds are dear, speed now this feathered shaft, and recall some pity for the Noldor in their need!’ His prayer was answered swiftly. For Manwë to whom all birds are dear, and to whom they bring news upon Taniquetil from Middle-earth, had sent forth the race of Eagles, commanding them to dwell in the crags of the North, and to keep watch upon Morgoth; for Manwë still had pity for the exiled Elves. And the Eagles brought news of much that passed in those days to the sad ears of Manwë. — Quenta Silmarillion, Of the Return of the Noldor

It is clear from the text that the great eagles always brought tidings about the Hither Lands to Manwë so he was quite aware of what happened to the elves residing there. However, there is no mention of Manwë giving instructions on what should be done about Morgoth, so the eagles constantly informing him was a one-way communication only. If Manwë was so sad, then why did he not do anything about his waylaid brother who terrorized the beings he was so sad for?

There were two other occasions when a Vala actively helped the elves in Beleriand but both of those were the deeds of Ulmo, Lord of the Waters. First, he saved an elf from drowning. That elf was Voronwë who was amongst the delegation sent by King Turgon to find a way to Valinor and beg the Valar for their forgiveness so that the Noldor can go back to Aman. They did not succeed, and, in the end, only Voronwë survived thanks to Ulmo, who also entrusted him to show Tuor the way back to Gondolin so that they could warn the Gondolindrim that their city would be discovered by the Enemy and they should leave it.

By the way, it was also Ulmo who revealed the hidden valley of Tumladen to Turgon where he later built Gondolin. And it was Ulmo again who showed Finrod the abandoned cave of Nulukkizdîn which later became the capital of the realm of Nargothrond. Later, Ulmo cautioned the people of Nargothrond to destroy their bridge built by Túrin and close their doors as his powers were withdrawn from the Sirion so he was unable to protect them any longer. This was also the reason why he sent a message to Gondolin as well, by the way. Neither the Gondolindrim nor the elves of Nargothrond heeded his warnings and that decision led to their ruin…

Elrond’s mother, Elwing was saved due to Ulmo’s powers as well. So, it should be obvious that amongst the Valar, Ulmo was the most supportive and considerate towards the elves in Beleriand. Aside from these mentioned occurrences, the Powers of Arda had not deigned to do anyone a favour until the War of Wrath. But even before that, they needed to have someone to beg for it. We already know that Manwë was very much aware of the happenings in Beleriand as the eagles always brought him news about those and yet despite being the appointed High King of Arda, he needed someone to spell out for him that there are severe problems outside Aman. He also held back Oromë and Tulkas, Valar who wished to do something about Morgoth when he destroyed Laurelin and Telperion.

Putting that aside there indeed is an allusion to the running communications between the two continents in The Silmarillion, but there is no indication of any kind of trade though. Here is the part I am talking about:

But new tidings were at hand, which none in Middle-earth had foreseen, neither Morgoth in his pits nor Melian in Menegroth; for no news came out of Aman whether by messenger, or by spirit, or by vision in dream, after the death of the Trees. In this same time Fëanor came over the Sea in the white ships of the Teleri and landed in the Firth of Drengist, and there burned the ships at Losgar. — Quenta Silmarillion, Of the Sindar

So, there was communication, but these connections were confidential and were most certainly not used to help people, save from those the receiver deemed important enough to inform. It is evident that the Ainur had several means of long-range communication despite the distance between Middle-earth and the Blessed Realm. Melian probably told Thingol what she discovered as she endeavoured to preserve Doriath to the best of her knowledge, but the Nandor who sought their protection were not given much regard unless they settled down within the Girdle of Melian. Only those within the borders of Doriath were given priority and similarly to them, any other leader in Beleriand did the same: the safety of their own people took precedence over the safety of allies. For example, Turgon was so concerned about the Gondolindrim’s survival that his worries practically clouded his judgement, especially after the Nirnaeth Arnoediad where he became the last child of Fingolfin remaining. Likewise, the Feanorians’ primary goal was both the retaking of the Silmarilli and the well-being of their people who loyally fought by their side. So, in a nutshell, the tidings that any ruler got from Aman did not circulate between Belerandian allies even if the ruler in question took up arms to aid those allies in battle, thus reinforcing my third and fourth points.

6) During the wars, but even before them, in the Years of the Trees, Sindar, Nandor, Teleri and Avari elves had died fighting the dark forces who were commanded by Sauron in his lord’s absence after Morgoth himself was imprisoned in the Halls of Mandos. We also know that the souls of elves who die are housed in these very Halls and await their re-embodiment. If there indeed was trade and communication between the Hither Lands and the Blessed Realm and if those dead non-Valinorean elves were re-embodied, they would have come to live near the Noldor, the Teleri and the Vanyar, because they would have been already familiar with them. If that had been the case, I believe that the detail-oriented Tolkien would have mentioned something like this even in something as unfinished as The Silmarillion but nothing of the sort is ever noted.

So, if those elves were re-embodied and lived in Aman, then they most certainly did not dwell near the already existing elven cities. But if they knew the Valinoreans, why would they do that? If there were indeed Sindar in Aman, then gradually and still in the Years of the Trees, Sindarin would have become another spoken dialect and would have created a need amongst the Quenya-speaking dwellers to learn the language, and perhaps it would have prompted the Valinoreans to take Sindarin lessons. This would have rendered the need for the Noldor and Sindar to learn each other languages when the Finweans met them. The initial language barrier, however, is actually quite plainly written in The Silmarillion.

Now in Mithrim there dwelt Grey-elves, folk of Beleriand that had wandered north over the mountains, and the Noldor met them with gladness, as kinsfolk long sundered; but speech at first was not easy between them, for in their long severance the tongues of the Calaquendi in Valinor and of the Moriquendi in Beleriand had drawn far apart. From the Elves of Mithrim the Noldor learned of the power of Elu Thingol, King in Doriath, and the girdle of enchantment that fenced his realm; and tidings of these great deeds in the north came south to Menegroth, and to the havens of Brithombar and Eglarest. Then all the Elves of Beleriand were filled with wonder and with hope at the coming of their mighty kindred, who thus returned unlocked-for from the West in the very hour of their need, believing indeed at first that they came as emissaries of the Valar to deliver them. — Quenta Silmarillion, Of the return of the Noldor

This also explains what I referred to right above the first point, and the part I highlighted proves both my first and second points as well.

I hope these six points at least somewhat show you why I think that the paragraph (from the essay) quoted above is a complete bullock, and after this point, it does not get better. As I have already hinted, this essay is almost the complete opposite of the article Elven naming tradition of Valinor in precision.

But would there be any naming traditions that they didn’t already have? From a linguistic point of view, there is a striking similarity to the Sindarin word “eneth” and the Quenya word “anesse”, suggesting that the Úmanyar also have Given-names. Denethor (which originally was a Common Eldarin name, “Denitháró – Lithe and Lank”) is obviously an Epesse, given to the hero who saved the Nandor. Another example of an Epesse given before the languages had truly split is Elwê’s name, “Thindikollo – Grey Cloak.” It refers to his silver hair.

The question and the following sentence are all right though the accents on every single Elvish moniker and on the word anessë are wrong. Also, Denethor is the name of a Nandorin elf and the Nandor were counted as both Moriquendi and Úmanyar whereas the Eldar came from Aman, therefore Common Eldarin could not be possibly spoken by any elf who never went to the Blessed realms in their life. And, the Primitive Elvish form of Denethor was Denethara not Denitháró, assuming that the essay’s writer indeed meant Primitive Elvish by ‘Common Eldarin’. This error is followed by the misspelling of the word epessë twice in a row and then writing wrongly both Elwë’s name and his after-name since the proper Primitive Elvish form of his epessë is Thindigollo. The writer mayhap confused it with its archaic Quenya form, Þindikollo. What this nickname actually referred to I will not argue about, because theirs is as good a guess as any.

The Parentless Elves (the Elves who first awoke on the shores of Cuiviénen and who therefore have neither parents nor a birth at all) all have Chosen-Names. While the Noldor glorified and enshrined this quite a bit, we don’t know to what extent the other cultures developed this; we can guess that they also could choose their own names, like their fore-fathers did. Also, there may be the odd occasion wherein an Elf decides to leave their old names behind, and go by an Alias, so that type of Chosen-name we can’t rule out either. There is little in the way of evidence of Mother-Names, but it seems unlikely that they wouldn’t also exist, as any Elven woman is capable of having insight in the hour of birth into her child’s future life and personality. Therefore, I contend that Mother-names are also possible.

What these paragraphs describe, I can agree with, only I would add that if the Úmanyar elves naming conventions were so similar to those coming from Valinor then Tolkien would have mentioned it in any of his writings left behind and thus we, fans, too would be more certain concerning this.

Finally, the Father-Name. We know that in an earlier version, of his Elven language history, Tolkien made a way to have Father-names for the Ilkorin Elves (uncivilized Elves outside the Elven cities) from a note in the Etymologies. They have a different sort of Fathername, which is completely unlike the Quenya or Sindarin Fathernames, wherein “go-” is prefixed onto a parent’s name. Also, this sort of name is just convenient.

The essay’s writer knew about Ilkorin so they should be also aware that J. R. R. Tolkien had phases in which he evolved the elvish dialects. For those who are not aware, Tolkien polished his fantasy languages through three phases: there was an early (1910-1930), a middle (1930-1950) and a late period (1950-1973) and Eldamo.org (https://eldamo.org/index.html) is a splendid site for etymology freaks not unlike myself. If you open the website you will see in the Language Index that Ilkorin (or Doriathrin) is an elvish dialect in the Middle Period.

What my problem is, if the article’s writer was aware of the Ilkorin elves then they should also know about these Periods and then they should also know that Tolkien, as a linguist, was very detail-oriented. Not mentioning that go- was the Gnomish prefix for patronyms and exclusively meant ‘son of’; not ‘not daughter of’ not ‘child of’, but its explicitly written down that go- stood for ‘son of’. In Ilkorin, it was simply go (‘from, away; patronymic’) and Tolkien demonstrated its use in the phrase Luithien go Thingol which translates into ‘Luithien, child of Thingol’. (By the way, Luithien is a variation of Lúthien.)

Also, a patronymic is not the same as a father-name neither in principle or practice. While a father-name could, and in most cases of the Eldar did, contain an element from either parent name, in Tolkien’s world, a patronymic was constructed by swapping -ion or -iel after the parent’s name. For example, Gildor Inglorion (“Gildor, son of Inglor”), Aragorn Arathornion (“Aragorn, son of Arathorn”), Arwen Elrenniel (“Arwen, daughter of Elrond”) and, in the first Peter Jackson movie, there was Legolas Thranduilion (Legolas, son of Thranduil).

“ In conclusion, I believe that the naming traditions of the Eldar come from the shores of Cuiviénen, and therefore aren’t completely different amongst the sundered Elves. That being said, I believe that the Úmanyar’s names are structured like this:

Indeed, the Eldarin naming conventions must have come from the shores of Cuiviénen, but since the writer already confused the Eldar and the Dark Elves once, I believe they meant the elves staying behind in the Hither Lands. And I have already mentioned this a bit more above, but for clarity’s sake: if the Úmanyar’s naming traditions were similar to the Exiles’ own, Tolkien would have mentioned it either in The Silmarillion or one of the Appendixes.

1. The first name is a Father name, with some portion of the father or mother’s name in it, and probably ending in -ien, -iel, or -ion. There probably would be some sort of ceremony or celebration for the parents to show off their new child, and let everyone know of its existence, wherein they would also tell everyone their new baby’s name. This name probably had very little personal significance, and could be used by outsiders.

What they wrote I have never ever seen in amongst Sindarin names. (On Eldamo you will find the whole list of names Tolkien has ever committed to paper.) But the patronymics sure can be used by anybody to address other elves, though I imagine that would be similar to how we address people by their surnames.

2. The second name describes the Elf’s personality. It is chosen later in life, when the Elf’s personality has taken form. For the Úmanyar, gaining linguistic ability and intelligence isn’t as highly prized as it is for the Noldor, so there probably isn’t a Name-Choosing ceremony amongst the Úmanyar. I do think that there can be more than one of these names, possibly one given by the mother, using her unique insight into her child’s personality and future. This name probably was much more intimate and personal for the Elf who had it, so using it would require a personal relationship. It would be rude for outsiders to use this name.

I reckon it would be more precise to say the name somehow does describe the elf, but one would indeed have to get to know him or her better for that. As I said above, I do not believe that there would be any equivalent to ataressë or amilessë amongst the Úmanyar, and as the essay’s writer noted the Úmanyar did not prize linguistics as much as the Valinorean elves did. I think it is more probable that a child’s parents together chose a name they thought would befit them, but anyone could address them by that if they knew it.

3. The third name is an Epesse of some sort, or a professional’s title. It can be descriptive of some event the Elf is well known for, the place that such an event took place, or some outstanding physical or mental feature that the Elf is well known for. Other than titles of nobility, Tolkien wrote about two professional titles: Celebrimbor for silver smiths and Tegilbor for scribes. So we can infer that people were sometimes referred to by their occupation instead of their name. ”

Again, I feel I need to specify the things written better. What I concluded from the name list on Eldamo, an epessë can become a professional title and vice-versa a professional title can become an epessë. For example, there is the Telerin Nówë who is mostly known by his epessë, Círdan which consists of the word círdan (‘shipwright, shipbuilder’) and it is simply an occupation used as a moniker; he was probably the most excellent in this craft or he might have been the one who founded it. The same might be the case with Tegilbor.

Celebrimbor is a bit of a complicated case… If we take The Silmarillion as canon then he was a Noldo, but in other texts, he was either a Teler or a Sinda or his lineage is not specified at all. Within the stub Concerning Galadriel and Celeborn in the chapter The History of Galadriel and Celeborn in the Unfinished Tales (c. 1959), there is a mention about the Noldo Celebrimbor that he wished for his skill and fame to rival Fëanor’s own. I think an ambitious person like that would prefer if it would be his personal name to become renowned and not an occupational title made into epessë. In a text called Eldarin Hands, Fingers and Numerals from c. 1968, Celebrimbor is a Telerin elf who accompanied Celeborn into his exile to Middle-earth and according to this text, Celebrimbor was indeed an epithet for famous silver-smiths amongst the Teleri. However, in a later text titled as Of Dwarves and Men from c. 1969, Celebrimbor is depicted as a Sinda and son of the minstrel Daeron. As I have already cleared that a professional title can become epessë then it is very probable that his real name was something else but he was so outstanding in silver-smithing that he was just referred to as Celebrimbor. (In this point I had worked hard to deliberately put aside my own preference of a Fëanorian Noldo Celebrimbror because I am such a big simp for the Fëanorians! So, I suppose it is not surprising that I am glad that in the latest known versions of The Silmarillion he was made to be Curufin’s son and this will always remain my canon too!)

General Facts About Elven Names in Middle-earth • Since the Elves of Middle-earth are so spread out, it’s unlikely that everyone could know what everyone’s names are, and if they ended up with the same name, they wouldn’t know it. Even so, they don’t take names they know are being used by someone else. To do so would create confusion. So, the names of famous historical figures wouldn’t be taken as chosen names, and I doubt an Elven mother would give their child the name of someone famous. Using someone else’s name is considered trying to impersonate them. There is no Elven equivalent to “John Smith”.

This is a very valid point and there is nothing wrong with it, plus I 100% agree with it.

• Elves don’t share their Father-names when they marry. Their names are unchanged, except for the romantic nicknames they call each other.

Although the writer confuses patronymic and father-name again, what they say is yet again correct. A famous example of this is Galadriel; her ataressë was Artanis (“Noble Woman”) and her amilessë was Nerwen (“Man-maiden”) whereas the moniker Galadriel was an epessë bestowed by Celeborn, but since she found this the most beautiful amongst her epessi it became her chosen name.

• Elves’ names change as the language around them changes. This is also why Legolas is sometimes called “Greenleaf.” It is simply the translation of his name into Westron, not a surname.

This also might seem appropriate even though I do not agree with it. Let’s use Legolas’ name again as an example: it is indeed translated as “Greenleaf” but it is a Nandorin and not a Sindarin name so the proper Sindarin moniker would be Laegolas. However, the Sindarin word laeg (“fresh and green, viridis, green (of leaves/herbiage”) was, by the Third Age, already an archaic one replaced by calen (“green; fresh, vigorous; †bright”). So, due to this example, I suppose it becomes a bit more understandable why I do not completely agree with it, but let me give another instance using Elrond’s name. The nomen uses the Sindarin elements êl (“star”) and rond (“(vaulted or arched) roof; vaulted chamber or cavern; heavens [as a roof of the world]”). By the third Age êl, just like laeg, became an archaic word and gil (“star; (bright) spark, silver glint, twinkle of light”) replaced it in speech. Therefore, if the statement is wholly true then Elrond would call himself Gilrond in the Third Age, just as Legolas would rather use Calenlas, because the first elements of their names became archaic and fell out of common use. This reasoning just sounds stupid, isn’t it? Well, this is what the writer apparently says. An elf’s name does not change if the bearer themselves do not wish to change it. Plus, if the names would also change with the language then that means they would also change in the written chronicles and if you are not a linguist this would be plainly confusing. Like, they would refer to Elu Thingol as Gilu Thingol and you would not know that Elu and Gilu describe the same person unless you are a loremaster. Fortunately, this is not so; the writer’s statement is true to the degree that a word corresponding to the linguistics of the age would more likely be used as a name element, but I say that is not always the case, Legolas is a good example of this. Also, Greenleaf was also used along with his given name (like ‘Legolas Greenleaf’) and never alone.

• Elves never use the names of Eru, the Valar, or Maiar as their own. It’s considered trying to become or impersonate a god. Similarly, they aren’t named abstract concepts like “Justice, Mercy, Love, Victory, Life, Death” or the names of countries or natural things like “Star, River, Fire, Earth, Sea”. Names referencing these things usually indicate the person’s relationship with them, like Gaerdil (sea-lover) or Edennil (human-lover). Names about one’s ethnicity or homeland are usually indirect references, like Legolas (green-leaf), which references his homeland (Mirkwood is called the “forest of green-leaf” in Sindarin) and his ethnicity as a Legel (green-elf). A name referencing something like stars or rivers and so on wouldn’t just be “Star” or “River”, but would be compound name, showing in what way the character is like the thing, like “Thranduil” (vigorous-river) who has a river running through his home. The name is suggesting that he’s energetic and strong as this river. Barring Ataressi, names are usually descriptive of the elf, often just an adjective with a name suffix added or a description of a specific characteristic. So, names like Arwen (noble maiden) or Glorfindel (golden-hair) are the most common.

I agree with this point utterly, only there are a few inaccuracies concerning the brought-up examples. Legolas was not a ‘Legel’, he was a Sinda or Grey elf, though that does not mean he cannot be a Laegel –as the Sindar referred to a Green elf–, however, the elves who dwelt in both Lothlórien and Mirkwood were called the collective term Tawarwaith (“Forest People”). Even though they indeed descended from the Green Elves they were referred to as Silvan Elves by the Third Age. Also, the moniker Thranduil means “Vigorous Spring” and it contains the Sindar adjective tharan (“vigorous”) and the noun tuil (“spring” as in the season). Regarding Arwen’s ordinariness as a name, well it is indeed a simply constructed nomen so it is indeed highly possible that there might have be other Arwen out there in Middle-earth, but no other Arwen had the after-name Undómiel (“Evenstar”) as this was only beared by the daughter of Elrond. Moreover, this was a Quenya epessë and thus was very unique in the Third Age where Sindarin was the Middle-earth-wide spoken language whereas Quenya was in position as Latin is in our world and current age. And concerning Glorfindel, its wearer was originally a Noldo from Valinor and the Noldor usually have dark hair, so one who was born with golden blond tresses counted as extraordinary and was unusual in Middle-earth too, especially by the Third Age when the other (mentioned) golden-haired elf is Thranduil, and this could not be more canon as it is since Tolkien himself wrote it. Galadriel got her name due to her luxurious gold-silver hairlocks as it was highly unusual, to say the least; it was quite a big deal for elves to see such hair colour. So, it was not likely to encounter another Glorfindel in Middle-earth as he was a well-known figure by the Third Age when most of the elven population had dark hair with the occasional silver in Telerin bloodlines like Celebrían and Celeborn.

And finally, I would like to give my own observations about elvish names in Tolkien’s universe also serving as an extension to the last point above. Since I mentioned the Third Age and Sindarin so much, let us begin with the Grey Elven names. I will discuss both genuine Sindarin names and Sindarinized Noldorin names, though I will write the equivalents of Quenya and Sindarin suffixes, if there are such, in parentheses. Also, an asterisk* behind a nomen will be marked as (known) epessi while the names translated from the other dialect will be underlined.

Generally used feminine suffixes in Sindarin:

-dis (Q -nis) ‘female agent’ or ‘bride’

-eth (Q -issë) ‘feminine ending’

-iel (Q -iel) ‘daughter; feminine suffix’

-ien (Q -ien) ‘feminine ending’

-il, -el (Q -iel) ‘feminine suffix’

-wen (Q -wen) ‘maiden, feminine suffix’

In the Sindarin utilized by elves -iel specifically never appears as part of the elf’s chosen name only when it is used in an epithet or patronymic. See Ar-Feiniel, Elrenniel, Gilthoniel, Tinúviel for instance, all of them function as an epessë would and are not the actual name of the person in question as Gilthoniel was an appellation of Varda in Sindarin. However, -iel and its variants in Mannish Sindarin were more likely to be used in given names than the suffix would have been in Elvish names. See Berúthiel, Fíriel, Ivriniel, Lothiriel and Niniel for example.

Female Elvish names: Aredhel, Ar-Feiniel*, Arwen, Astoreth, Celebrían, Celebrindal* (Q Tyeleptalëa), Edhellos, Elrenniel*, Elwing, Faelivrin*, Finduilas, Galadriel*, Gilmith, Gilthoniel*, Gladhwen, Idril, Íreth, Laewen, Lindis, Lúthien, Melian, Mithrellas, Nellas, Nimloth, Nimrodel, Rodwen, Tinúviel*

Female Mannish names: Adanel, Andreth, Berúthiel, Eledhwen*, Emeldir, Finduilas, Fíriel, Galadwen, Gilraen, Glóredhel, Ioreth, Ivorwen, Ivriniel, Lalaith, Lothiriel, Meldis, Morwen, Niniel, Rían, Saelind*, Urwen

Generally used masculine suffixes in Sinadrin:

-bor (Q -quar) ‘fist’

-dil, -nil (Q -(n)dil) ‘friend, lover’

-dir, -nir (Q -ner) ‘man’ as in the sense of ‘male person’

-dor (Q -tur) ‘king, lord’

-hir ‘lord’

-ion (Q -ion) ‘son’

-on (Q -ndo) ‘masculine suffix’

-or ‘agental suffix’

-(r )on ‘agental suffix’

-u (Q -wë) ‘a person or being’

Masculine names are a bit more trickier. Male elves, or all elves in general, are more likely to use compound names that are built up of words inspired by the physical world, especially by nature. See Celeborn, Legolas, Malgalad, Oropher, Saeros, and Thranduil for example. The suffix -u was used only once in Elu’s (“Star Person”) moniker in The Silmarillion. Meanwhile, the usage of -ion is mostly limited to after-names and patronymics. The other suffixes are common in both Elvish and Mannish names be they given names or epessi but perhaps the Men had tended to prefer -dil/-nil, -dir/-nir, -dor and -hir a little better than the Elves did. However, these are merely my own musings as the Sindarin name list on Edalmo contains literally all the names including place names, epessi, weapon and animal names as well, though Mannish names are the majority of personal names in the list. Here, however, I will be focusing on the names of people.

Male Elvish names: Aegnor (or Goenor), Aerandir, Amras, Amrod, Amroth, Angrod, Annael, Aramund, Aranel*, Arminas, Arothir, Astoron, Beleg, Bronwe, Caranthir, Celeborn, Celebrimbor, Círdan*, Curufin, Cúthalion*, Daeron, Denethor, Dior, Duilin, Ecthelion, Edennil* Edrahil, Egalmoth, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Elros, Elu, Eluchíl*, Eluréd, Elurín, Enerdhil, Ereinion*, Erellont, Erestor, Ergammon, Faenor (or Fëanor), Falathar, Felagon*, Felagund*, Finarfin, Findor, Finellach*, Fingolfin, Fingon, Finrod, Fin (or Finu), Finwain*, Firindil*, Gaerdil, Galadhon, Galdor, Gelennil, Gelmir, Gildor, Gil-galad, Glindúr, Guilin, Gwindor, Haldir, Inglor, Legolas (or Laegolas), Lindir, Mablung, Maedhros*, Maeglin, Maglor, Ornil, Oropher, Orophin, Pengologh, Peredhel*, Rasmund, Rodnor*, Rúmil, Tarmund, Tegilbor, Thingol*, Thinrod, Thranduil

Male Mannish names: Adanedhel*, Agarwaen*, Amlaith, Amrothos, Anborn, Angbor, Aradan, Arador, Araglas, Aragorn, Aragost, Arahad, Arahael, Aranarth, Aranuir, Araphant, Araphor, Arassuil, Arathorn, Araval, Aravir, Aravorn, Argeleb, Argonui, Arvedui, Arvegil, Arveleg, Baragund, Barahir, Baranor, Baravorn, Belecthor, Beregar, Beregond, Beren, Bergil, Bór, Borlach, Borlad, Borlas, Boromir, Borondir, Borthand, Brandir, Bregolas, Camlost*, Celebrindor, Cirion, Dagnir, Dairuin, Damrod, Denethor, Derufin, Dervorin, Dírhael, Duilin, Duinhir, Edelharn*, Egalmoth, Eladar, Ecthelion, Elphir, Eradan, Erchamion*, Erchirion, Estel*, Faramir, Findegil, Fuinur, Galdor, Galador, Gilbarad, Gildor, Glirhuin, Glórindol, Gorthol*, Gundor, Hador, Halbarad, Haldir, Hallas, Handir, Hathhaldir, Hathol, Henderch, Herion, Hirgon, Hirluin, Húrin, Iorlas, Labadal, Malbeth, Mallor, Malvegil, Mormegil*, Naeramarth*, Neithan*, Orchaldor, Radhruin, Ragnir, Ragnor, Sador, Saelon, Targon, Telchandir*,Thalion, Thorondir, Thorongil*, Thurin*, Thuringud, Turamarth, Túrin, Udalraph*, Uldor, Ulfang, Ulfast, Ulwarth, Úmarth*, Urthel

Generally used feminine suffixes in Quenya:

-ë female names often end in this

-ië another usual feminine ending

-iel (S -iel,-il,-el) ‘-daughter; feminine suffix’ also ‘feminine patronymic’

-ien (S -ien) ‘feminine ending; feminine patronymic, -daughter’

-issë (S -eth) ‘ending in feminine names’

-ldë ‘feminine agent’

-llë ‘feminine agent’

-ndë ‘feminine agent’

-nis (S -dis) ‘woman’ as in ‘female person’

-wen (S -wen) it is the suffix form of the archaic version of vendë, meaning ‘maiden’

Like the Sindar and with the sole exception of Míriel (Fëanor’s mother), Quenya-speaker elves do not use -iel in their cilmessi neither they have it in their ataressi or amilessi. However, it is heavily used in the case of epessi and when they refer to a female by their parent –usually the father– in the form of patronymics. Just like the Men of Middle-earth, Númenóreans and later also the Men of Númenórean descent, prefer to utilize -iel, -ien and their variants in their nomina than any other alternatives mentioned above. See Ailinel, Almarian, Almiel, Míriel (also known as Ar-Zimraphel), Silmarien, Telperien, Tindómiel, and Yávien. Also, the Númenórean were more prone to use the Valar’s name in their own: Nessanië, Uinéniel, Vardilmë.

Female Elvish compound names: Amarië, Anairë, Artanis, Eärwen, Eldalótë, Elenwë, Findis, Ilwen, Indis, Írimë, Írissë, Itarillë, Lalwendë, Míriel, Nerdanel, Nerwen, Serindë*, Tyeleptalëa*, Undómiel*

Female Mannish compound names: Ailinel, Almarian, Almiel, Ancalimë, Elestírnë, Erendis, Írildë, Isilmë, Lindissë, Lindórië, Mairen, Míriel, Nessanië, Silmarien, Telperien, Tindómiel, Unéniel, Vanimeldë, Vardilmë, Yávien

Generally used masculine suffixes in Quenya:

-ion (S -ion) ‘-son, masculine patronymic’

-mo ‘agental suffix’

-(n)dil Variants: -dil, -nil, -ndil (S -dil, -nil) ‘-friend, -lover; devotion, disinterested love’

-(n)dur Variants: -dur, -nur, -ndur ‘servant; to serve’

-ndo (S -on) ‘masculine agent’

-r(o) Variants: -r, -ro ‘agental suffix’

-wë (S -u) ‘ancient name suffix (usually but not always masculine)’

Similarly to the cases above, Elves are more likely to use compound names that may contain one of the mentioned suffixes, particularly in their epessi, whereas Men, especially the Númenóreans, usually stick with -ion, -(n)dil and -(n)dur. The following instances are all from Eldamo’s Quenya name list and I deliberately wrote down every moniker worn by Men and elves related to this matter so my point will be seen. Also, with the exception of Lómion which is Maeglin’s amilessë, and the only instance in Quenya when -ion is used in a mother-name, all the other nomina utilizing -ion is a patronymic. Urundil is the epessë of Mahtan who is Nerdanel’s father and thus Fëanor’s father-in-law and Eärendil was actually ‘just’ half-elven so his name is also listed below as well. Aulendur however is more of a title for Noldor who entered into the service of the Vala Aulë rather than it is an actual personal name. As opposed to the Elvish names, the Men were a bit less squeamish to use a Vala’s name in their own.

Male Elvish names: Aicanáro, Ambaráto, Ambarto, Ambarussa, Angamaitë, Angaráto, Aracáno, Arafinwë, Aranwë, Aranwion*, Artafindë, Artanáro*, Artaresto, Atarincë, Atyarussa, Aulendur*, Canafinwë, Carnistir, Ciryatan*, Curufinwë, Eärendil, Elemmacil, Elerondo, Elerossë, Elmo, Elwë, Fëanáro, Findaráto, Findecáno, Finwë, Finwion*, Ingalaurë, Ingoldo, Ingwë, Ingwion*, Laicolassë, Laurefindelë, Lenwë, Lómion, Macalaurë, Mahtan, Maitimo, Minyarussa, Minyon*, Morifinwë, Morwë, Nelyafinwë, Nolofinwë, Nurwë, Olwë, Pityafinwë, Quengoldo, Russandol, Sarafinwë, Sarmo, Sindicollo*, Telperinquar, Telufinwë, Tyelcormo, Turucáno, Umbarto, Urundil*, Voronwë

Male Mannish compound names: Aldamir, Aldarion, Amandil, Anardil, Anárion, Ancalimon, Anducal, Aracorno, Arantar, Arciryas, Ardamin, Ardamir, Artamir, Atanalcar, Atanamir, Aulendil, Axantur, Calimehtar, Calimmacil, Calion, Caliondo, Calmacil, Castamir, Cemendur, Ciryaher, Ciryandil, Ciryatur, Ciryon, Eärendil, Eärendur, Eärnil, Eärnur, Elatan, Elendil, Elendur, Eldacar, Eldarion, Elentirmo, Elessar*, Envinyatar*, Estelmo, Falassion, Falastur, Hallacar, Hallatan, Herucalmo, Herumor, Herunúmen, Hostamir, Hyarmendacil, Írimon, Isildur, Isilmo, Malantur, Mámandil, Manwendil, Mardil, Meneldil, Meneldur,Minalcar, Minardil, Minastan, Minastir, Minohtar, Minyatur, Narmacil, Nolondil, Nólimon, Númellótë, Númendil, Ohtar, Ondoher, Ornendil, Oromendil, Orontor, Ostoher, Palantir, Parmaitë, Pelendur, Quennar, Rómendacil, Siriondil, Súrion, Tarannon, Tarciryan, Tarondor, Tarostar, Telcontar, Telemmaitë, Telemnar, Turambar, Ulmondil, Umbardacil, Úner, Valacar, Valandil, Valandur, Vardamir, Vëantur, Vinyarion, Vorondil

#lord of the rings #silmarillion #detailed explanation alert

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infinitestarsdev · 10 months

Text

Devlog 2023-06-23

FriYAY!

Before I start, I wrote a whole devblog for last week, scheduled it, and never submitted it. Sorry about that.

As a reminder to all the new people, I consistently post updates every single Friday. On rare occasions I miss one, but that doesn't mean that we haven't made progress for that week, it just means I didn't write (or click submit) the devlog. That said, I do have a day job that takes priority over Infinite Stars, but I spend every (and I mean EVERY) free hour I have working on Infinite Stars. Sometimes we'll get tons done, and other times we'll have little to report. <3

That said, this has been a very productive two weeks!

A lot of it is behind the scene stuff that needs to happen, but doesn't look like much. This includes all the writing… We've been writing a lot. So much writing.

Lochem's MxM observatory intimite content has been added to the game, and the shower scene you all voted for is almost done! It should be ready by next week.

I've also added a Lochem friendship/flirt scene in the Mess hall as a precursor to the shower (or other) intimate scenes. You can chill with the best space commander friend there is, or you can– you know– very deliberately push your foot up against his thighs under the table. He loves it, but flusters easily. This scene is in the new patron build released today, but the facial expressions still need to be coded.

Other writing stuff that we've also been working on:

Episode 4's content, including an optional scene where your Mah'Abeu takes a ride in a VERY cramped, old and rumbling elevator with Matthias. There is a lot of brushing against each other, making Matthias very conscious of your presence which leads to some embarrassment on his behalf. Your Mah'Abeu can either ride it out innocently (hurr hurr) or lean into the situation (I make no apologies!) and "innocently" tease him all the way until, well, you both arrive (that's it! A hat trick!) at your intended destination.

Some of Lahkush and Lahkhadia's content, don't want to say too much about it.

The first crew interaction with an Uhlikti. Also spoiler hush-hush content, so won't expand on it.

Snippets of Reyna's arc

Snippets of Veera's arc

Some more Raymond stuff

Some additional Matthias stuff

Some Lindi stuff

Some Andrea's stuff

Yeah, we've been writing all over the place, and it's going to pay off in the not too distant future.

On the drawing side, Tae has been working on more Cephilusks, and Stoffies is busy with the new and improved bridge. (We're reworking the command platform, and I'm very excited for it!)

On the coding side, we implemented the framework for unlockable lore snippets as you progress/make different choices in the game. The unlocks are universal, across all your saves, and it might require a second or third playthrough to unlock all of them. The basics are there, and I love the freedom it gives us to expand on the already expansive world of Infinite Stars.

As a team we've also been spending some time exploring the lore and world-building, including how Cephilusks sleep. We've got some really cool ideas, but I'm curious as to how YOU imagine they sleep. If you want to have some fun and speculate, I'd love to hear your ideas. (We might even steal some of them or use them as a bouncing board for new ideas!) Let me know in the comments!

Oh! And we received the first version of our new trailer! Wooo! We just need to change some of the text and character sprites, but that should also be ready before the end of the month!

Patron's can go play footsie with Lochem over here. No android version this week (My Ren'Py was updated and I need to reconfigure the store keys etc)

Have a fantastic weekend! As always, stay safe, be kind and believe in yourself! You are worth it! <3

#visual novel #scifi #infinitestars #art #amwriting #otome #interactive fiction #indiedev #star trek #infinite stars #amare dev

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unterwaesche · 1 year

Note

Someone being found by a court as not being able to be charged with a violation because there isn’t enough evidence to legally prove it beyond a reasonable doubt is NOT the same as someone being found to have for sure not committed the violation. Also all those pedo/“jailbait” and racist texts he sent are still real.

(Cont) So: He may well have done it and I didn’t see any proof-positive evidence presented that his accuser lied at all.

For comparison this would be like if I keyed your car and you saw me do it, but there’s 0 evidence I did besides your word and I’m convincing in denying it to a court so I get off free. Does that make you a liar for sure? Does that mean I didn’t do it for sure? Or does it just mean I can’t be convicted of it.

---

I'll be super honest, I'm assuming I've heard and possibly even posted before about his behavior on Twitter, probably because I agreed with the sentiment someone else said (or maybe I said it?) that it doesn't surprise me that the person who wrote Rick and Morty would do that, not because it's a given that someone who writes that way is a creep, but because as far as I managed to watch I kind of picked up on something underneath it all that could have just been my imagination or it might not have been. But I pay so little attention to content creators that I can't even remember the guy's name unless I look it up and I forgot all about that he had been saying a bunch of gross stuff, too.

But like, when curiosity gets the better of me, after seeing a post on here talking about how so-and-so is being a dick on social media or some other such thing that's just vague enough that if you know you know and if you don't it won't mean much to just read it, I'll look up the name for a Wikipedia page and jump to the controversy section just to see what's up. His whole thing with the charges probably stuck with me since it's not all that often that accusations against people like him make it to court.

But as to your actual point, you're right, and I think I assumed when that ask was saying that he was declared innocent that that meant his accuser rescinded the accusation, or admitted that she had made it up, or something along those lines, but I work...maybe not necessarily in the legal field, but adjacent to it, so in my mind if someone is declared innocent that's above and beyond the case being thrown out due to insufficient evidence (I'm just assuming that's what happened, based on the content of your ask). Obviously every defendant is innocent until adjudicated guilty within the scope of the trial, but people have to make their own judgments out in the world.

As a whole I don't have any faith in the legal system. Juries will be biased no matter what the judge tells them before they're sent out for deliberations. The state will hide behind the concept of probable cause to bypass illegal search and seizure. Defendants get any and all prior criminal history marched out if they try to speak on their own behalf, in spite of the fact that nobody is supposed to assume guilt due to prior behavior. Every person in the courtroom knows good and well that they're operating under a fundamentally flawed system that really only gets worse with every reform brought forth to try and improve it.

One thing I must disagree with, though, is that because he creeped on that lady on Twitter that it serves as an indication that there's a higher likelihood he did the assault/kidnapping thing. One of the only things that the justice system gets right is the narrow scope of proceedings, because prior behavior doesn't necessarily mean that what someone is on trial before is more likely to be true.

Personally though, I think that if more people were killed trying to commit these sorts of crimes before they ever got a trial, there wouldn't be nearly as many. Unfortunately you have to be afraid of the state coming down on you for defending yourself half the time anymore.

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

Note

(quicksandblock) hi! I just left you a giant wall-of-text response on your Dream post, and though I think it came across well enough, I just want to state my lack of hostile intent over here as well lol. I know stuff like this that people feel strongly about can get very tense so I just wanted to make doubly certain you know I'm not trying to pick a fight or anything. it kind of sucks that I feel like I need to clarify that but that's fandom culture for you sometimes :P

also, I would love to talk to you about Dream characterization. I think I disagree with you on a lot of different points and I love his character, so I'm very interested in understanding your perspective!

hey, hello! found a c!dream enthusiast/enjoyer, that’s cool, hi! :]

[copied part i put in front of each reply, hence different capitalization]

Alright, so first as a quick disclaimer, I’m going to put a summary of the original post’s points, just to ensure that we’re on the same page;

The post does say:

- don’t dehumanize c!Dream because it continuously hurts people who relate to and/or sympathize with him, also dehumanization in general is an inherently wrong mindset

- don’t attack people who sympathize with him because he’s a victim of abuse besides other things

The post never says:

- you cannot hate c!Dream and not sympathizing with him is wrong

- the things c!Dream has done are to any degree excused

- don’t dehumanize c!Dream because he’s a good person

- people who dehumanize c!Dream are real life abuse apologists

If you read the post and didn’t get these points from it, i advise you to reread it as I made pretty much all of these abundantly clear.

[end of disclaimer]

i never said anyone could infringe on his human rights! i… literally never said that! i said “they ignore” when characters do it, but that was a run-on sentence, i get how that might’ve been easily misunderstood. but yes, he’s a fictional character, i’d never said people could actually hurt him or anything in that sense.

the thing is, i still find them saying they enjoy it… wrong? the people yelling in tommy’s chat for c!dream to hurt him more were freaking victim blaming pricks, and if what they did was the widespread fandom opinion it would be hurting actual people with trauma. i ask people to look at the c!dream situation with the same severity, because it’s actually happening and it’s highly disturbing, not just from principle, but because of what it leads to within the community.

sorry for comparing his situation to c!tommy, but narratively i believe the prison arc is a deliberate parallel to exile, and comparing his situation to someone they’ve not dehumanized seems to be the only way to knock sense into some people.

i am happy you don’t seem to be one of the people who dehumanize him. you’re not the target audience of this post - neither are abuse victims who project onto him. i know people who c!tommy reminds of their abuser (because of personality traits), or even c!quackity, that’s fine. they’re totally free to hate their respective character, of course, without being,, actually right about them. that being said, majority of this fandom is dehumanizing c!dream and being mad at people sympathizing with him “on behalf of the abuse victims”, not actual victims themselves, and by doing this they are unknowingly hurting other people rather than helping anything, and spreading misinformation as well as making a lot of fans in general uncomfortable. i believe this is something that needs to change in the community.

hating him is fine, but group-based dehumanization in my mind is not. if you go on twitter and search “c!dream” and see 100 people saying they wish the abuse victim you project onto is hurt more (this is not a twitter thing, c!dream tag is the same thing, a majority of the crit is untagged but it,, doesn’t really matter because even tagged hate riles up more people) that freaking sucks and is something that the community needs to work on, not shoved under the rug and pretend it wasn’t there because some people tag it.

“the abuse victims who are hurt by people saying they should be sympathetic towards Dream are in fact just as hurt as the abuse victims who relate to Dream and are hurt by people saying his evil.”

this is not wrong. it’s right actually, but i’m not talking about this fandom calling him evil/unable to be sympathized with/irredeemable. i mean, that’s hurtful dehumanization as well, but this community doesn’t “say he’s evil” it “says he deserves to keep being horribly abused and/or die”.

and… i wasn’t talking about/saying abuse victims should sympathize with him either? i’ve said like five times that people can hate him as much as they want, but dehumanization is another thing. it’s the majority of this community (this post wasn’t targeting abuse victims in the slightest) taking away his positive human qualities, hence believing he doesn’t deserve human rights, and turning him into some sort of punching bag or personification of evil, which i find deeply disturbing since he’s being related to by abuse victims, and also blatantly incorrect to the character.

so, you’d be right, if the situation was what you described. it… really isn’t. the dream smp fanbase isn’t populated by abuse victims in any corner. it’s two small groups, one of them hurt (undeservingly) by a few and the other one hurt (no more or less undeservingly) by a majority of the fandom without anyone batting an eye.

and this post isn’t even about abuse victims in the first place; it’s about dehumanization. while its impact plays a big role in why i wrote this, things like these being widespread in the fandom makes so many people uncomfortable or pressured not to sympathize with a recently made sympathetic character that they might (but could not) relate to. relating to him myself, i might not have a say in this, but my compassion in general made me switch over to the c!dream sympathetic people, not anyone in the community or projection.

the results i relayed here weren’t the only results of the survery. people mentioned pandora’s vault as their reasons for being dream apologists,, over and over and over again. a lot of them mentioned the fandom response specifically.

it’s making the fandom not only unsafe to a small group of traumatized people, but also fans in general, who are equally as important to feel comfortable. hell, the reason dream apologists are such a tight-knit community that accepts little to no outside feedback is because of the hatred that is endlessly nurtured outside, that makes people feel anxious or not safe just for sympathizing with a victim of abuse.

i myself find this a problem that people should attempt to change beyond using crit tags more. feel free to not agree with that, but a lot of affected people do.

i agree the disc finale was actually cathartic! well, that’s a lie, i used to hate c!dream’s guts before that but that was the very instance where i saw a person behind the mask and went “oh, this is a whole mess isn’t it”, but it was,, cathartic to a lot of other people that didn’t use to have intense empathy to inanimate objects as children djskdjsk (i was a weird kid and still am, don’t mind that)

do you know what is cathartic? when a dog terribly bites a child, gets kicked away and gets put in a cage. do you know what isn’t cathartic? …that dog getting repeatedly beaten, starved and abused while trapped in said cage. even in fiction, and i say that as someone who was terribly bitten by a dog.

i don’t mind fictional characters suffering - frick, angst is my jam, i’ll write a character dying over and over again and have fun, but people justify that or make fun of people who don’t by saying openly that they enjoy it,, because he’s done bad things.

here comes the double standard. the exile arc wasn’t cathartic just because tommy burnt down a house, because hell, that wasn’t fair retribution. same goes for dream.

there is a difference between enjoying dark media (something i do frequently and is something i like doing) and open dehumanization and often normalized harassment of people who don’t do the same or condemn that. that is something that in my mind shouldn’t be a mainstream thing in the community.

to be fair, people saying an abuse victim no longer being hurt is “bad writing” or “insensitive” as i’ve seen people say would probably piss me off, but i’m,, not going to harass them. maybe a passive-aggressive vague-post if enough big accounts do it, but i think that’s justified. feel free to disagree - i still respect abuse victims who wouldn’t like that, but people who just don’t want the writers to humanize a character they’ve dehumanized will probably grind my gears.

this community,, isn’t working like this. i wrote this because people are repeatedly being hurt by the community or feel bad in it because of widespread opinions and dehumanization of a character that is as of late written to be sympathetic to the audience. that’s not a disagreement, the people who are actually sympathetic are a minority in the fandom, which would be fine with me, if they weren’t constantly invalidated, triggered and harassed as a direct result of the dehumanization discussed in this post.

besides the fact that the principle of dehumanization applied to c!dream is wrong - and if people find themselves doing that, it’s good for them to find a way to realize that, such as this post, because projection =/= dehumanization, and this post is targeting one, not the other - this is why i wrote this post. i still believe my points are valid and important for this fandom to consider.

you know, we could talk about the characterization right now - but after this i’m going onto a two month long hiatus for the sole purpose of studying the character. i’m not joking, this is what i’m dedicating my summer to. since i’m also closing my asks because of this, i can write this down and @ you when i’m done? :D i’d love to talk about him but i’m going to have so much more evidence after this, so maybe we can put this off for a while if you don’t mind! of course feel free to continue the dehumanization debate in a string of reblogs since it’s pretty much a different debate entirely.

( @zrenia @caketexturepack just tagging some people who responded to your response and might be interested in the continuation of the debate - also curious anon i saw your two asks i was just busy djsjdks please don’t spam about people who replied to me, i have a bad memory but i write this stuff down, actually )

#my asks #discourse #tw dehumanization #tw abuse #tw torture #tw animal abuse #long post

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larryfanficwriter98 · 3 years

Text

Ten

*Fake It Until You Make It Real*

-SMEXY TIME NEAR THE END I'LL WARN YOU JUST BEFORE IT STARTS- Also please enjoy my Storytime about this chapter's journey

Let me tell you about the roller coaster that this chapter has been through. I have rewritten this chapter a million and one times in the last few weeks that I honestly have no idea how I finished it. Then right when I got the idea I wanted to stick with my phone BETRAYED ME BY PLAYING GOSPEL MUSIC WHILE WRITING MY SMEX SCENE!!! GOSPEL!!! I was raised catholic though I'm not religious anymore BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHEN THAT WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN VERSE CAME ON AS I WROTE ABOUT GAY RIM JOBS!! My grandma probably rolled over in her grave a few times, my lights flickered, my computer went out of sleep mode...y'all made me summon my grandma and that woman does not like me. She opened my closet door and had the nerve to not shut it after she left. My grandma sang that song every morning so that song summons her and it just happens to be the song that plays while I write about one of the many things she did not believe in.

Side note- Not sure if roadblocks are a thing in the UK/Manchester area but in my town there is a roadblock every Friday and Saturday night (obviously except during the pandemic) and when I tell you they will find every drunk driver above the legal limit that is on the main roads I am not exaggerating. So I mentioned them in this chapter because I'm American and that's what I'm use to. Also throughout this story you will notice I go back and forth between UK English and USA English because I try to respect that this is technically based in the UK and they're British and I know a lot of my readers are British, but I am not therefore I use different wording. If you are ever confused and can't find the correct term googling it please comment and I will tell you what it means.

That is all. Enjoy.

On his days off and hours he had to spare during his workdays Harry finished Freddie's bedroom and had went through Maddie's old clothes in her closet that no longer fit. He also had started going through the toy room downstairs digging through the toys from many years ago that he still had that she played with occasionally for a few seconds. He reorganized the toys and space and made sure there was plenty of room for Freddie's toys and future toys he knew he would buy him come Christmas and his birthday. He took down a few old princess dresses that didn't fit and the accessories and made a note in his home journal to ask Maddie if she wanted him to replace them when he spoke to her next. He made little notes as he threw toys in bags or moved larger things out of the room and by the week of Halloween his home was all ready for Louis and Freddie to start moving in. He left his Murano and keys at Louis' place for that week while he took his Audi to and from work for the few days that he worked and the other days he helped Louis and as promised he was the one who took the train table apart and rebuilt it back inside the playroom at his house.

"Come on Louis all five of us are off tomorrow I can call Amy and ask if she can babysit Freddie at my place and we all go there afterwards." Harry begged.

"Harry, I haven't even met Amy yet or talked with Freddie or even had five minutes to think about it. I'm not going to stop you from going out with your friends and if you want to invite Zayn out then go ahead, he'll be all for it. But I just- I haven't been out to a pub in years not like that at least. The last time I left Freddie with anyone other than Zayn or my mom I was given a fifteen-minute lecture about the apparent abuse and neglect I was inflicting on him by being twenty-two and having fun. I just...I don't want to leave him alone and-"

"Louis you are entitled to have fun a few nights. You're allowed to get a babysitter for a night once in a while. Amy is amazing and you will love her instantly and Freddie will like her. You will cause more harm not taking some you time than you will going out once a month to get drunk. We won't even get wasted we'll eat greasy bar food and have a pint or two then go home. I swear to you, you and I will not get drunk if you're worried about not being available for Freddie tomorrow. You're an amazing Papa Louis and I have no doubt a little hangover will never stop you from being there for Freddie but if you want to stay sober then we can."

"I'm not going to make you stay sober just because I am the lamest twenty-four-year-old around."

"You're not lame. You're a parent. A parent with full time custody. I'm not, I don't have all the...precautions and feelings that you do. It's okay to have boundaries with your son, if you don't want us going inside a home, he is at drunk then we won't drink, or Amy can watch him at your place, and you can drop us off at mine then go home. Whatever you want it's fine and we will respect that. You don't have to worry about hurting feelings or sounding lame. Liam and Niall will completely understand if they are limited to one beer. They will respect that."

"It's not that either. I just want to think about it first. Tell you what, tell Amy to call me at my lunch if she can then I'll give you my answer after we talk." Louis said as he unlocked his classroom door before walking to his desk and setting his stuff down.

"Alright. I'm sorry. I just- I think it'll be fun for all five of us to do something before Halloween this weekend. Since you don't have school tomorrow and I'm off until the third and Liam and Niall are off tomorrow, they proposed a night out. It's okay if you don't want to though, we'll all be together Saturday anyway."

"I'm not upset or feeling pressured relax. I just want to think about it. I will let you know everything when I know." Louis said grabbing Harry's hands as he leaned against his desk.

"Okay. Fair enough. I'm going to go home and finish some last-minute things for this weekend then tomorrow we can go shopping together with Freddie then pick up Maddison and have a family dinner outing then have a family movie night. What do you say?"

"I say that sounds like a wonderful Friday night. I'm glad you were able to get Maddison this weekend."

"Yeah, it wasn't easy. I'm just happy I can have her around my family after so long. My family hasn't seen her in years. Not in person for more than a few minutes at a store at least. I should go before your kids come into the room and see me with their teacher. I'm sure that's in the rule book somewhere."

"Something like that." Louis agreed, "You're allowed in my room just no inappropriate displays of affection upfront of students."

"Ah so I should get my goodbye kiss before they come." Harry said quickly grabbing Louis' face and kissing it all over. Louis laughed and swatted at him pushing him off before he pulled Harry down for a proper kiss with his hands on Harry's wrists as Harry's hands cups his face.

"MISTER T!" Louis jumped pulling away turning red as his early arrivals entered his classroom teasing him already.

"I'll talk to you later." Harry said chuckling.

"Oh, don't stop on our behalf." One of his students teased.

"Don't you kids have breakfast to attend?" Louis said.

"Why should we when the tea is obviously all right here." Harry laughed before he kissed Louis' cheek and left the classroom with a grin leaving Louis to fend for himself amongst the teenagers, "is that the fiancé mister T?"

"Yes, it was and you three saw nothing."

*****

"You didn't text me after lunch." Harry said by way of greeting Louis when Louis got into the Murano.

"I know I forgot my charger at the apartment and wasn't able to charge it. The Nursery teacher called me after Amy, and I had to talk to Freddie because he was upset, he forgot his stuffy at the apartment. I obviously couldn't go get it then my phone died just as I was starting to calm him down, so I haven't eaten my lunch yet nor have I been able to text you." Louis said with a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry. You know you can add my name and number to the nursery call list. I can do things...I am going to be your husband, your partner."

"I know you've told me this before I just keep forgetting to since the mornings are always so routine and the afternoons, I'm usually ready to just go home."

"Well how about we do it today. We'll go in together. Then I'll call the boys and tell them we can do it another time and-"

"No, we can go tonight as long as Freddie is okay by the time we want to leave. I told Amy she can come by an hour early so Freddie can get comfortable with her first and we'll decide then anyway."

"Are you sure? It's okay if you want to stay home and get pampered."

"I could use a beer. One beer for me at least."

"Okay. And if we have to wait until Freddie goes to sleep to have that one beer we can. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me as long as you and Freddie are comfortable and happy." Harry said kissing his hand as he drove across the street to the nursery.

******

Louis had kept himself at one beer though he had tried to convince Harry to have fun and get drunk, but Harry had kept himself at two. That didn't stop him from going on the dance floor with Liam who was already on his fourth beer.

"So, tell me about Freddie. I mean obviously Harry talks about him all the time, but I'm sure you can tell me something new." Niall said.

"Really? What does Harry tell you?" Louis asked not at all bothered just curious, he knew Harry had told his friends about Freddie, but he didn't realize Harry talked about Freddie with them.

"Literally everything. The easier question to answer would be what he doesn't tell us. He loves that boy you know, has a picture of you and him in his locker beside his picture of Maddie. Has a picture of him in his wallet too. Harry includes him when he talks about Maddie and sometimes when he gets really animated, he calls him his stepson instead of his fiancé's son. It's cute and I don't think he realizes it." Louis grinned as he looked over at Harry who was being spun by Liam.

"I didn't know that. I think he's worried about going too fast with Freddie considering everything."

"Yeah, he is, but he means well. I get why you two waited so long to mention it to us, with Harry's court situation and with Hannah and with you having Freddie. It's understandable you two just wanted to stay on the low until you knew where it was going. What I don't understand however is why have a wedding so soon?"

"Yeah, Lou why so soon? Are you-"

"NO! No, I am not." Louis quickly said when he saw Niall's eyes widen with excitement, "No. I won't lie the custody situation did encourage me to push for it sooner and also we both wanted a winter wedding, but we also both wanted a small intimate wedding and with all those factors I figured why not do it in January. We talked about it and concluded that if we could make it work then why not. The custody situation alone didn't pressure me into it and neither did anything else it was just a why not situation. We knew we wanted to get married so why wait an extra year. There will be some sacrifices of course, but nothing that is very major or decision changing for either of us."

"I guess that makes sense. That's what Harry said as well that it was just sort how it was planned. I knew Harry wouldn't have pressured you, but I also know Harry can sometimes be a bit...pressuring without meaning to."

"I haven't felt pressured in anyway with him. I know he can be pushy at times, but he has always stepped back when he needed to. Actually, I haven't found any flaws except his puns and dad jokes and - is he always fucking perfect? Like is that a trait his entire family has or just him?" Niall laughed as he set down his fifth empty pint glass.

"Perfect? Harry? I have no idea what you're talking about. That man is not perfect."

"He is perfect, he's always so...composed and in control of himself."

"You do see him on the dance floor, right?" Zayn asked making Louis turn and burst out laughing as he saw Harry and Liam doing a circle while shimmying together.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT TOMLINSON!" Liam shouted.

"YOU PAYNO!" Niall shouted back.

"Go to hell Irish." Liam shouted as he grabbed Harry's hands and spun together dramatically.

"Okay so he's not always perfect..." Louis conceded, "But he's pretty damn close."

"I think you're blinded by those biceps Lou." Zayn said making Louis turn red as his jaw dropped.

"WHAT?!"

"I mean I can't blame you Dr. Styles definitely has a nice body. I'm impressed honestly. You're not one to go after muscular men."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Louis said looking down at his empty glass with melting ice.

"I tried to hit on Harry when he was transferred to Manchester Royal. I was already a nurse there and here comes this hot young doctor who had scrubs that hid nothing from view if you get what I mean." Niall said, "I mean I'm sure you get what I mean you probably caused a few...accidents during your secret stays." Louis buried his burning face into his hands and refused to acknowledge Niall and Zayn laughing their asses off beside him.

"What kind of view are we talking about Niall?"

"Okay we're done talking." Louis said quickly interrupting that train of conversation as he slid out of the stool and headed to where Harry and Liam were, "I'm stealing him back." Louis said wrapping his arms around Harry's shoulders.

"Only for a few minutes Tomlinson I'll be back for him after a pint. And don't think a boner will deter me we slept in the same bed during puberty when we had sleepovers." Liam said as he headed back to the table with a playful wink and a blown kiss towards Harry who playfully caught it and put it in his pocket winking at Liam right back and puckering his lips. Louis chuckled shaking his head as he pulled Harry away from the table's view and further into the crowd of dancing people.

"Ready to go home?"

"In a little bit, it is getting really late considering we only planned to be out until eleven. I think it's one already."

"Yeah, sorry I know you wanted be home. We can leave-"

"In a little bit Harold. For now, this is as close to a pub date as you're getting from me for some time which means we have to snog in the middle of aroused strangers who are grinding on us in all directions and probably trying to grab one of our wallets without us realizing. It's a relationship requirement." Harry grinned nodding as he looked around.

"I think we're meeting all the requirements."

"All except for one."

"Ah right let me correct that." Louis laughed as Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and pulled him closer to his body just as their lips met. Slowly, almost hesitantly, their bodies started to move and after a few minutes, they were one of the many couples dry humping each other on the middle of the dance floor. Harry grabbed Louis' hand and spun him around then wrapped the arm around his waist and pressed him against his body causing Louis's breath to catch momentarily. He leaned back against Harry, leaning his head on his shoulder letting Harry keep his arms wrapped around his waist while his mouth stayed on his neck mouthing at him in various spots. Louis' hands slid up and behind to wrap around Harry's neck pulling him closer as he turned his face to kiss him again letting Harry's tongue take control while one of his hands cupped his cheek keeping him there. Louis could feel Harry's other hand twitching from where it was rested against his stomach, it was one of the things Louis had learned about Harry that he was very touchy and handsy when they snogged and tended to keep his hands firmly in place on his cheeks, waist, hips, or back not moving them at all except to those safe locations. Harry definitely liked to touch more than he liked anything while also being respectful and mindful of his hand placements and where it was deemed safe to touch. He was also very willing to let Louis be in charge, didn't seem to have any hang-ups about ''roles'' or positions that were stereotypically associated with carriers and non-carriers who were gay unlike most people.

"Oi if you're going to give us a free show at least do something worth watching!"

"Remind me to kill Liam tomorrow morning." Harry whispered against his lips.

"Sure thing." Louis said turning to face him only to be kissed again once he did, "We're being watched Harold."

"Fine. We can continue this behind a closed bedroom door preferably locked too." Louis chuckled as he followed Harry back to the table, "You're getting killed tomorrow morning. Are we ready to head out?"

"Sure, I am and yeah we are. I already paid the tab, so we just need to figure out who is the more sober one of us all and get to your place."

"That's probably Louis or myself." Harry said.

"I can drive." Louis offered, "I only had a pint, I'll be the safest if we hit a roadblock."

"Agreed. Here you are my love. Let's head home." Harry said placing the keys into Louis' hands before wrapping his arm around his waist and walking with him out of the building while the others followed closely behind.

"I have to pee so bad." Harry said running up the stairs as soon as the front door was opened. "Holy fuck my bladder is about to explode."

"Harry always has to pee after a beer. I swear it goes straight through him." Liam said shaking his head, "don't worry we'll show Zayn to the guest rooms and make sure he's comfortable."

"Thanks, I want to check on Freddie really quick. Zayn-"

"I'll be fine." Louis nodded then headed upstairs to Freddie's room entering it as silently as he could. He gave Freddie a forehead kiss then fixed his blankets and tucked him in. He grabbed Patches off the floor and laid the bear beside Freddie then stared at his son until he felt Harry sit behind on the edge of the bed.

"If you stay here any longer, he'll wake up and neither of us are strong enough to say no to a half-asleep Freddie wanting snuggles." Louis chuckled nodding but he didn't move. Harry stood only to kneel on the side of the bed and gently run his fingertips though the messy hair. He gave Freddie a light kiss as well then stood up and pulled Louis up wrapping his arms around his waist as he guided him out of the room, "let him sleep Papa bear. He's fine and we have a busy two days starting tomorrow."

"I know I know I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

"Uh huh. Sure, you did. I'm sure you were hoping he'd wake up."

"Only a small part of me was hoping that would happen. I can't help it he's growing up too fast and soon he'll be too cool for snuggles."

"I still snuggle my mom, if he's raised right, he'll never be too cool for snuggles. And trust me I'll make sure he's raised to love snuggles when he's fifteen." Louis laughed as they walked into Harry's bedroom, well their bedroom now since they were mostly moved in by now. Louis turned in Harry's arms, so they faced one another and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"You know Niall told me something at the table."

"Oh?" Harry questioned wrapping his arms around Louis' waist.

"He told me you have a picture of Freddie in your locker."

"I do in a magnetic frame beside Maddie. You're in the picture too."

"He also told me you call him your stepson when you talk about him."

"I might say that word a few times." Harry said nervously as his cheeks turned red, "I love Freddie, I've told you he's my family now." Louis grinned as he stood on his toes and pressed his lips against Harry's pulling him in closer by his hand in Harry's hair. He walked back until his back hit one of the boards of the four-poster bed frame. Harry moved in and completely covered his body with his own slotting himself between Louis' legs.

"I don't want to like assume anything but-"

"Harry I am pressed up against your bed post by my own decision and you're worried about assuming things?" Harry laughed nodding.

~~The Smex starts in a few paragraphs~~(Smex spelling is so wattpad doesn't get their sensitive feelings hurt by already pre-tagged warnings of smex and the mature thingy tagged...they're pansies)

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted...assuming you're not on contraception methods which I'm not going to make you get on or anything obviously I know that can affect your body more ways than they tell you, I was going to ask what you wanted to do like if you wanted to top or if you have a preference. I'm sure you've noticed I have none and am completely fine with any method since I can't get pregnant. I mean obviously I have condoms and I’m obviously clean and everything I just don’t want to assume anything like you want to bottom just because you’re a carrier and I don’t want you to assume I only want to top because I’m not a carrier and I have an ‘’alpha male job’’ as some like to call it nowadays.”

“Oh well I usually don’t top unless I’m in my more fertile week. As I’m sure you know since men don’t ovulate or menstruate, we have a week of higher fertility rate that we can track by weekly pee sticks. Don’t care to know the science behind it so please don’t tell me.”

“I can give you a long lecture about your hormones and-“

“Don’t make me soft Harold.”

“Well alright. Are you-“

"No, it's always the first or second week of the month, it sometimes comes in the middle of the week, I usually take one very two days until I get it. So, stop worrying and stop talking." Harry chuckled as he pressed his lips against Louis' again pressing himself against Louis who was pressed against the bedpost. Louis' hands ran up under Harry's shirt bunching it until Harry pulled it off followed by Harry pulling Louis' shirt off. Their jeans and pants were off and in a few short moments Louis was bent over the bed with Harry between his legs giving him a mind-numbing rim-job. Something that not five minutes ago Louis would have said he hated because he never had a good one. Louis was very aware of the fact that they currently had six people on the same floor only few feet from them and one of those people being his son, which was why he was trying extremely hard to stay as quiet as he could. However, when two fingers joined Harry’s tongue at his entrance Louis gasp resisting the want to push back against them.

“I could do this all night. How are you feeling?” Harry asked smugly.

“Like if you continue, I’ll cum way too soon.” Louis said trying to swat at Harry but missed.

“If you think that’ll stop me you’ve got another thing coming. Literally.” Louis burst out laughing which quickly turned into a too loud moan that Louis just knew anyone awake on the second floor heard it.

“You ass you did that on purpose.”

“Well, they say you are what you eat.”

“You did not just say that.” Louis said laughing as he buried his face in a pillow muffling any and all sounds that came from him from that point forward. Harry kept his promise as he spread his cheeks wider giving him more room to lick his entrance pushing his tongue in.

A large hand wrapped around his cock and started tugging on it painfully slow while his tongue moved as fast as physically possible. When Harry removed his tongue, he sucked and ran a thumb over the wet hole before going back in not giving Louis any time to breathe between all the sensations. Despite all that not once was it hurried or rough in a way that took away the intimacy of a first time together. Louis moaned as he felt his orgasm building, he could feel it all building under his skin and when it was released it was released in strong spurts on the duvet cover underneath him and Harry didn’t stop until nothing else came out. Then when Louis was sure he’d get some time to breathe Harry pushed two thick lubed fingers inside of him making him groan in pleasure and slight pain at the over simulation.

“You’re not going to let me breathe?” Louis asked breathlessly.

“You’re breathing now, aren’t you?” Louis laughed shaking his head, “You’ll be fine I have faith in you and your lungs. You just relax and enjoy and let me know if you’re too sensitive. I am a doctor I know how to avoid a prostate.”

“No get out you’ve gone and ruined it with a doctor joker.” Louis said.

“Oh hush.” Harry said leaning over Louis to kiss his shoulder as his fingers slowly moved inside of him. Louis was all for slow fingering, but it was currently almost three in the morning and they had a long busy weekend coming up.

“Harry I’m all for slow sex and all but it is almost three in the morning and-“

“I’m obviously not doing it right if you’re able to think.” Louis opened his mouth to retort that Harry was doing great and it was just that it was almost three in the morning, but all thought process escaped his head when Harry pushed three fingers inside of him and started thrusting them, brushing them against his prostate. He moaned not even bothering with the pillow as he gripped the duvet in his fists before Harry rolled him on to his back. He arched his back as his legs spread almost automatically to give Harry’s arm more space between his legs. Louis cursed repeatedly when Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ head sucking it down as he fingered Louis, his second orgasm came as a surprise as Harry swallowed it all before Louis even realized he was cumming. Louis pulled Harry down for a kiss as soon as he had enough oxygen in his body and felt no shame when he could still taste himself on Harry’s tongue. His hands gripped Harry’s hair before he rolled them over, so he was straddling Harry’s hips as they snogged. Louis reached over and grabbed the condom on the nightstand then opened it and slowly slid it down Harry’s hard cock. Harry gasped tensing when Louis rolled the condom on before he relaxed and helped position Louis as he held himself in place. They broke the kiss momentarily so Harry could help guide Louis, he thrust up just enough, so the head entered the ring of muscle then his mouth was back on Louis’ to muffle the majority of the sounds that came out as he slowly slid himself down. When Louis was completely seated on Harry, he knew neither one of them would last long for multiple reasons. Louis slowly started a rhythm that he was comfortable with at first since he hadn’t had sex in years then slowly it sped up by both of their doings then Harry rolled them, so Louis was on his back when Louis was wearing out. The new position and angle had Louis burying his face in Harry’s neck before Harry was kissing him again. Harry started thrusting harder and faster leaving Louis to gasp and let out high pitched noises that he couldn’t help and only hoped they were as quiet as they seemed. When Louis came for a third time it was followed almost immediately by Harry as he groaned holding Louis close to him keeping their faces buried in the other’s neck.

“Holy fuck I can’t move.” Louis burst out laughing as rubbed Harry’s sweaty back as they slowly caught their breathes, “I’m serious I can’t move. We’re stuck like this. One and done.”

“I wouldn’t call that one and done.” Louis said making Harry laugh, “I’d call that almost two hours and done.”

“Last time I focus on your pleasure.” Harry joked before he kissed Louis’ forehead then straightened up and gently pulled out. Louis watched as Harry got off the bed and headed into the bathroom leaving the door wide open as he balled up some toilet paper and pulled the condom off. After tying it off he tossed it in the trash then he wet a washcloth and wipe himself off before he came over to Louis and wiped him off making sure to get everything from lube to the dried cum on his ass from when he rolled over the first time. Once that was done, he tossed it into the hamper and pulled off the duvet.

“Are you really stripping your bed? Right now?” Louis teased.

“No, I’m just pulling the duvet cover off, so we don’t accidentally sleep in cum or lube. If you dirty my white duvet, you’re in trouble though.”

“I promise not to ruin your fancy duvet.”

“Good.” Harry crawled into bed and pulled the duvet over them, “Come here and cuddle.” Louis grinned turning to face Harry as he snuggled into his warm body tucking his head against his chest and wrapping his arms arounds his waist, “Perfect. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

#Larry Stylinson #larry shippers #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larries #fake marriage #larry fake marraige au #nonfamous au #doctor harry styles #teacher louis #Wattpad #archive of our own #parents au

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timeagainreviews · 4 years

Text

The Doctor Shows Great Praxeus

One of the more amusing aspects of being a Doctor Who fan is fantasising about one day travelling with the Doctor. I’ve heard grown-ass adults tell me that they have thought "I kinda want to get in shape, in case the Doctor ever comes." We’ve all asked ourselves which Doctor we would most want to travel with. The next question, of course, is- "Anywhere in time and space, where do you want to go?" Usually, my response is "the future." As a trans person, I don’t much fancy a visit to the past. But lately, even the future seems a grim place to be. Part of me wants to see the future because I want to see Star Trek in action, but part of me just wants to know if we survive.

When I heard that an episode in series twelve was going to tackle the subject of plastic pollution, my first reaction was "Autons?!" I also braced myself for a heaping dose of cringy edutainment. While it is a very clear and present danger that should be treated as such, I don’t expect Doctor Who to tackle the issue with much finesse. It’s no secret around these parts that I have questioned Doctor Who’s capacity for dealing with heavy subject matter. However, it would seem as though writer Pete McTighe has cracked the code- make it part of the story!

I’ve had Pete McTighe on my mind this week as he showed up on the "Behind the Sofa," segments in the new Seventh Doctor blu-ray boxset. (I’ve not forgotten that by the way, I do plan to cover one of the stories.) I knew McTighe was set to pen an episode this season, so I had been looking forward to that. If you’ll recall, I was a fan of his episode "Kerblam!" Some of my more anarchic friends wrote the entire episode off because the Doctor doesn’t dismantle the company at the end. So does Pete show better praxis with "Praxeus?" Let’s get into it!

The episode opens on several different locations- Peru, Madagascar, and space. We’re introduced to three groups of very different people. We’ve got Adam, an astronaut plummeting to earth in a capsule. We’ve got Gabriela and Jamila, a couple of travel bloggers forced to camp amongst rubbish. We have Jake, a cop on sabbatical who appears to be struggling with anger issues. And then we have Suki and Amaru, a couple of scientists working in a lab next to a beach where a survivor from a submarine accident is about to wash ashore.

I was concerned at that moment as I was worried they may have bitten off more than they can chew. So many new characters and settings all at once could easily become lost in the chaos. But the action is given focus by Jake learning that his husband Adam, the astronaut, has crashed. After a mysterious text from Adam, he heads to Hong Kong in search of his missing love. In a very short amount of time, there is a very strong sense of character development for Jake. This left me somewhat concerned as most of the companions have taken the backseat to secondary characters this year. It’s not been to the show’s detriment, as such, but it did leave me wondering if their solution to the problem of character development would be to ignore it completely. But here, that simply isn’t the case.

Tosin Cole is in particularly fine form as the Doctor’s man in Peru. We’ve seen each of the companions grow and take on traits of the Doctor, but Ryan shows a maturity and confidence we’ve not fully seen from him previously. When Gabriela wakes to find her friend Jamila missing, it’s Ryan that calms her. It’s Ryan who takes a sample of an infected bird. It’s Ryan that finds Jamila’s body, moments before she succumbs to a strange blight. Seeing him like this, he’s less like the boy we met on his bike, and more like a man. Even Gabriela was unable to deny just what a man he is. I’ll admit that I was just a touch envious of her getting to pat him down.

All the while, the Doctor has discovered the sailor from the submarine on the beach who suffers the same fate as Jamila. Some sort of infection seems to be taking over random people and the birds, causing skin abrasions and odd behaviour until ultimately exploding into a dry powder. It’s a grim way to die, and one of the better ones I’ve seen in Doctor Who in ages. Above the research facility, swarms of birds swoop in large groups, moving like a single organism.

Graham and Yaz intercept Jake in Hong Kong, where they find Adam, still in his spacesuit like this was the Impossible Astronaut. While unhooking him from what is clearly alien tech, they’re interrupted by gas-masked scientists with laser guns. In the scuffle, Yaz holds a piece of equipment hostage, which prompts her to believe that whatever it is, it’s valuable. Thanks to some badassery on Jake’s behalf, they manage to get Adam unhooked from the equipment and reconvene with the Doctor. However, Yaz decides to hang back along with Gabriela so they can nab that valuable device.

Now, I’d like to take a minute to talk about the way in which the Doctor and her companions are operating as a team. Not only are they keeping in touch with one another through cool little communication devices in their necks, but they’re also using the damn TARDIS! It is easily one of my biggest gripes about Doctor Who that they never use the TARDIS in interesting ways. Most writers seem content treating the TARDIS like a tram to get from point A to point B. I know that in a lot of ways the TARDIS could easily become an overpowered McGuffin, but that doesn’t mean you never use it for stuff. Allowing them to move about in the TARDIS to chase leads made a global story seem manageable.

Yaz and Gabriela’s little team-up was such a treat. Not only was I loving Gabriela as a character, but they finally gave Yaz some good stuff to do. McTighe isn’t just writing the ensemble of three companions well, he’s actually managed to build a small supporting cast of characters, each with their own individual arcs. On top of that, the Doctor’s dialogue was on point this week. Even the humour struck the right balance of eccentric and scatterbrained (or is that brainsed?) I’m not saying he’s my current favourite writer on the show, but I may start thinking that if he keeps this up.

Yaz and Gabriela locate the device, but as they’re retrieving it, one of the masked scientists shoots at them and uses a teleportation device to escape. I loved that Yaz was willing to see where the teleport led to, as it illustrates the Doctor’s influence on her companions once more. The Doctor has always banked on the benefit of the information gained from experience as opposed to wondering. If you can get captured, perhaps it will bring you right where you need to be. Following this logic, Yaz and Gabriela find themselves within what looked like a spaceship made of rubbish. Bits of rubber and plastic adorn the walls like the inside of the Skithra ship. And oh hey, there’s the submarine!

Back at Suki and Amaru’s lab, the birds are growing in number and getting restless. Amaru keeps watch while the Doctor and co. search for a cure for Adam who is also afflicted with this Praxeus pathogen. I loved that the Doctor delegated the task of dissecting a dead bird to Ryan. It was one more thing for her companions to do, which also made logical sense. While Graham has rather a lot less to do this time around, I was really pleased by his playing nurse for Adam. The subtle nod to his history with cancer got my heart stirring a bit. By the time Graham and Jake have their little heart to heart, I was already a big ball of emotions. This is Graham doing what he does best- giving granddad advice to a confused young man.

Now, I will admit, by this point in the episode, the plot began to confuse me. But this wasn’t the usual kind of confusion where "This doesn’t make sense because it’s dumb." It was more like "This doesn’t make sense because I’m dumb." There’s a lot going on, but if you paid attention, you will be able to make sense of things. Poor Amaru gets pecked to death in what has to be the shittest job as a lookout. It’s like sitting in place waiting to see if a brush fire will advance toward you. Meanwhile, Ryan has discovered the bird he found died with a belly full of plastic.

The Doctor deduces that the pathogen is attracted to plastic and found a feast within humans who are full of microplastics from the environment. It’s a grim outlook for the 2030s, but a sober one. And it’s a very relatable concept to imagine. How many times have you seen a bird hopping along and eating anything off the ground that looks like food? As I said, they managed to talk about plastic pollution by incorporating it into the story. As the information is important to understanding the plot, it doesn’t feel as though we’re being spoonfed information for the sake of information. We’re learning by peeling back the mystery of this episode, and it worked beautifully.

The Praxeus pathogen appears to be intelligent, which is both why it’s been so stubborn to eradicate, but also why the birds have been behaving so aggressively. If a person gets scratched by a bird, they become infected. This could also be why Jamila wandered off into the night. Just about this time, Yaz rings up to inform the Doctor where she is. We learn that the Hong Kong lab was transmitting data to two locations- somewhere in the Indian Ocean, and Madagascar. Knowing she’s been made, Suki reveals she’s not from Earth, but actually a scientist from a planet that was nearly wiped out by the Praxeus pathogen. However, it’s at this point that the birds have found their way into the lab forcing the TARDIS crew and their new friends to flee for the safety of the blue box.

The Doctor meets up with Yaz and Gabriela where they discover Yaz hasn’t actually discovered a new alien planet, but are actually deep within the Indian Ocean, the third location triangulated with Hong Kong and Madagascar. Suki’s ship has attracted a sort of vortex of junk and debris which also interferes with nearby tech like say submarines or orbiting space stations. They find the scientist they had been persuing only to discover they too were infected by the pathogen. When they removed the mask to show a face full of what looked like teeth, I yelled out "Tim Shaw!" It’s at this moment when they find Suki has teleported aboard this little garbage island.

Suki being a callous scientist willing to infect an entire planet to save her own was some mad scientist level villainy on par with the Rani. Is she the Rani? She’s the Rani, isn’t she? It’s never the Rani. As things turn out, Suki appears to also be infected, and before she can stop the Doctor from stopping her, she too succumbs to the pathogen, exploding into a powder. Adam, on the other hand, is fairing better as the Doctor’s search for a cure has yielded positive results.

The plan at this point is to allow Suki’s ship to autopilot into the atmosphere and distribute the cure across the earth, thus ridding it of this horrible blight. However, as everyone is escaping they fail to realise Jake has remained onboard. Seeing the autopilot is broken, Jake finds the perfect opportunity to show his love for his husband by sacrificing himself. However, the Doctor shows some Capaldi level TARDIS manoeuvring as she saves Jake last minute. This was a nice change in pace from series eleven which seemed to take great glee in introducing gay characters only to kill them off. The two lovebirds’ passionate kiss had my boyfriend and I saying "Awww!" and holding hands.

After last week’s wonderfully befuddling episode, I expected them to give us something tame. Episode six after a big midseason reveal seems like the perfect place to put your run of the mill filler episode. Instead, I found this to be one of the best episodes so far. The plotting and pacing were on point. The dialogue was superb and believable. Add to that some stellar performances from the entire cast, and you’ve got the makings of an instant classic. Even the side characters were lovable and interesting. Gabriela’s continuous disappointment that nobody recognises her from her vlog was an endearing bit of character work that had me saying words like "honourary companion." I know the TARDIS is a bit full, but I’d be way into more of her in some capacity.

It’s hard for me to say if I have many complaints about "Praxeus." As I said above, there were moments when the plot lost me a bit. After a brief look around the internet, I realise I’m not alone in this. Others found it a bit dense, but I am confident that over time that will subside. I did find the idea that they had to search three solar systems to find a planet as messed up as ours to be a bit heavy-handed. But that is sort of where we’re at as a planet. Writer Chuck Palahniuk once said something to the effect that the beaver wasn’t saved from the brink of extinction by freedom fighters chaining themselves to the last few beavers. It was the person who designed a more fashionable hat that didn’t require beaver skin. People stopped killing beavers to make hats, and the beaver survived. What I am getting at is that "Praxeus," doesn’t succeed by doomsaying, but rather through charm. By the end of the episode, I didn’t feel exhausted by information. Instead, I found myself feeling something far more constructive- thoughtful.

#doctor who #praxeus #Thirteenth Doctor #Jodie Whittaker #tosin cole #mandip gill #Bradley Walsh #Ryan Sinclair #Graham O'Brien #yaz #yasmine khan #pete mctighe #TARDIS #bbc #Time and Time Again

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vernonfielding · 5 years

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Life Writes Its Own Stories

Chapter 5! (And AO3, of course.)

Amy had entertained the idea of becoming a cop for a while in high school. She’d been in her sophomore year, when all of the Real Life conversations were just starting at school: The AP kids were obsessed with the PSAT and everyone had to go to mandatory career fairs and Amy had even started getting a few college brochures at home. Amy’s plans – though thoroughly detailed and organized – only went as far as getting into a really good college, and then figuring out the rest from there. But she’d spent a lot of time imagining herself in different jobs, and her fantasies had carouseled around becoming an internationally renowned cancer researcher, the next Sonia Sotomayor, or the youngest captain in NYPD history.

(She’d occasionally daydreamed about life as a journalist, maybe working overseas somewhere. But an actual career had seemed profoundly unrealistic. Until, one day, it wasn’t.)

She’d eventually ruled out the first two careers – scientist and judge – because science kind of bored her, if she was honest, and she didn’t have the gravitas or the social intelligence to be a leader like Sotomayor. So by default she’d leaned into the captain fantasy.

At the same time, she started to notice how many late nights and weekends her father worked, and how some nights he came home with such a deep weariness in his shoulders that her mom just hugged him and held on. She saw, too, how cops were treated. Sure, there were the folks in their neighborhood who greeted Victor Santiago by name, who were proud to have a cop in their community. But she also heard the slurs shouted from passing cars and the hissed insults when she walked with him down the street. She knew what her friends in school said about cops. Some of their hate and distrust was earned – not by her father, but by other cops – but it still upset her. Victor Santiago was a kind, decent man, in a difficult, often thankless job.

Now, sitting at her desk at 10 p.m. on a Friday night, she felt angry on his behalf as she pored over the papers she’d been studying all week. Her father – and Jake, and other good cops – worked so hard for the people in this city, and these dumbasses in corrections were just blithely stomping all over people’s rights.

The irony of it, Amy knew, was that when her story ran most readers wouldn’t know, or care, that these jerks weren’t representative of all cops – they weren’t even part of the NYPD. Which meant that the good guys would get dumped on all over again. And there wasn’t anything she could do about it, other than write the truth.

Sometimes, Amy thought, this job sucked too.

The newsroom was quiet at this hour, the crackle of her police scanner unnaturally loud. Amy tipped the sound down a bit and stretched, lifting her arms over her head and looking around. Charles was the only other person in the newsroom, typing furiously. She assumed he was working on his personal food blog because the city desk deadline had passed an hour ago. Holt’s door was closed, the office dark beyond the blinds he’d left up. Amy sighed and flipped to the next page. There was another code she didn’t recognize so she added it to her growing list of numbers to look up later.

Beside the stack of papers, her phone suddenly vibrated, and Amy instantly smiled to herself. The screen lit up with a text from Pineapples: “OMG I have a killer story for you, literally killer. Call ASAP.”

Amy laughed out loud before she could stop herself, and slapped a hand over her mouth. She replied: “Stop it! You know I can’t write anything right now.”

“Oops sorry. Hold on, texting the Times.”

“Don’t you dare,” Amy wrote.

Jake replied with a shrug emoji, followed by a devil emoji and then a series of farm animal emojis.

Amy glanced at the time on her phone, and then the stack of papers in front of her.

She wrote: “What are you doing right now? I need dinner.”

“It’s 10 p.m.”

“I know,” Amy wrote. “Been a long day.”

She realized, belatedly, that she was acknowledging that she was working at 10 on a Friday night, and also that she had no friends to ask to dinner.

“Never mind,” she quickly typed. “I’ll grab something on the way home.”

“Meet me at Mario’s on Dekalb.”

Amy turned off her computer and stuffed her papers and her notebook into her purse and was out in three minutes. She called a goodbye to Charles over her shoulder but if he replied, she didn’t catch it.

Jake was leaning against the brick wall outside the pizza place when Amy walked up, slightly out of breath. He stood up straight when he spotted her.

“Hey,” she said. “Thanks for meeting me. You probably have way better things to do on a Friday night than talk to an annoying reporter.”

He grinned. “Usually, yes. But Rosa and I spent all day on a missing dog case for one of the Vulture’s gross frat bro friends so I haven’t eaten since- actually I don’t remember when.”

Amy gaped at him and said, “Is the Vulture a person?”

“Oh yeah, he’s our captain. Pembroke,” Jake said. “He’s the worst.”

“And Rosa is-”

“My partner.”

“The one who thinks talking to me is a terrible idea,” Amy said.

“That’s her,” Jake said, still beaming. “Shall we?”

He led Amy inside the pizza spot and up to the counter, where he tried to convince her to get the all-meat pizza that somehow had five different kinds of sausage on it. Amy opted for veggie instead. They took their slices the couple blocks down to Fort Greene, where they climbed a play structure, cold and empty this late at night, and ate with their feet dangling over the side of the slide tower.

It was an unseasonably chilly night, and Amy zipped up her jacket. Jake, she noticed, was wearing a leather jacket over his hoodie now, and for some reason the contrast made her grin – like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be cool and sexy or cozy and sweet.

“What’s so funny?” Jake said, when she ducked her head to hide her smile.

“Nothing.” Amy took a huge bite of pizza, and Jake watched in what could have been alarm or awe as she chewed – and kept chewing – and finally swallowed. “This is really good pizza.”

“That was kind of disgusting,” Jake said, “but also impressive.”

“Thank you.” Amy made a show of dabbing her lips daintily with a napkin and Jake laughed. “Did you really have a tip for me tonight, or were you just messing around?”

“Totally messing with you.”

“Thank god,” Amy said. “This story is killing me.”

She droned on for a bit then, filling him in on the reporting so far. Holt had just that day given her another two weeks to work on the story, which Amy desperately needed and was grateful for, but it also added even more pressure. When she told Jake she was compiling a list of penal codes she still needed to look up, he offered to go over it for her to save her some time. Amy hesitated, because she didn’t technically need his help for that kind of work. Eventually she told him she could handle it, and he shrugged and focused back on his pizza. She got the sense he was disappointed.

“Everyone’s been really supportive at work, at least,” Amy said. “I was worried that they’d all be mad at me, since the other reporters have to pick up my slack while I’m busy with this stuff. But even Gina’s been leaving me alone, mostly.”

“Linetti?” Jake said.

“Yeah. You read her column?”

“Sometimes.” Jake popped the last bite of crust in his mouth and balled up the wax paper the slice had come on, tossing it toward a trashcan at the edge of the play area. “We grew up together.”

Amy grinned as the paper neatly landed in the trash. Then she frowned and said, “Wait, what? You know Gina? Gina Linetti?”

“Oh yeah,” Jake said. “All the way back to kindergarten. I actually sublet her apartment now.”

“How is that even possible?”

“Subletting isn’t that weird,” Jake said.

“Shut up, loser,” Amy said, when Jake grinned at her. “How is it possible that you are friends with Gina and I had no idea?”

Jake shrugged dramatically. “I guess you’re just not that good of a reporter?”

“Jerk,” Amy said, but she actually couldn’t help but feel a little bit like an idiot.

Gina was nosy as hell, and she’d known for a long time that Amy had a source in the NYPD who was based in Brooklyn. That she hadn’t let it slip that an old friend of hers was a detective at the Nine-Nine seemed like a deliberate omission. There was no way Gina would have been able to resist not lording that kind of connection over Amy.

She was also a little annoyed that Jake hadn’t said anything, though she wasn’t going to let him know it.

“Hey,” Jake said, contrite. “I was kidding, obviously.”

“Right, I know.” Amy tried to sound casual.

“Look, I would have said something but it didn’t even occur to me.” Jake leaned back against the play structure and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Gina and I never talk about work – or my work, anyway. To be honest, I’m not sure she even remembers that I’m a cop.”

“That’s crazy,” Amy said, scooting back so she was sitting beside him.

Jake shot her a cynical look. “When she got her first reporting job, I told her that from now on everything I said about work was off the record. And she said, and I’m basically quoting here: ‘Fine, but you can’t talk about work anymore because it’s boring and I’m not going to be bored if I can’t even write about it.’ So I stopped talking about work. Like, ten years ago.”

Amy tried to process that but finally just shook her head. “Yeah, still crazy.”

“Well, that’s Gina.”

Amy didn’t get the sense that he was bothered by Gina’s lack of interest in his professional life – which was awful, because the line between personal and professional was incredibly blurred for most cops, to the point where it basically didn’t exist. In other words, if Jake was like almost every other cop she knew, his badge was his identity. It was everything.

But she supposed that indifference-bordering-on-negligence was a known hazard of a friendship with Gina. And Amy didn’t want to feel sorry for Jake.

Still, Amy wasn’t Gina – and she wasn’t bored.

“So, a missing dog case?” Amy said. “Really?”

“Oh yeah, it was such a waste of time. The Vulture’s always trying to give me and Rosa worthless cases but this one might have been the dumbest. The dog looked like a rat, Amy!”

Amy laughed, and Jake laughed with her, and then he launched into the Case of the Rat-Dog – capitalization noted – which had a surprising number of twists and turns, including a foray into a gelato shop that was really a mob front, and ended with the dog having simply run away to live with a better family than the Vulture’s frat-bro friend. Amy was in tears by the end and actually whooped in celebration when the dog found his forever-home.

“I can’t believe you spent your entire day tracking down a happy dog,” Amy said, wiping tears from her eyes. She was sitting cross-legged on the play structure, huddled into her jacket.

“I guess they can’t all be super cool undercover assignments,” Jake said with a sigh.

“You’ve gone undercover?”

“Sure, all the time. Once I spent six months with the mafia. But that story will wait for another night,” he said, and stood up, hissing and shaking his right leg as he got to his feet.

“Leg fell asleep?”

“Yeah,” Jake said. He pulled out his phone and his eyebrows shot up. “Which is what happens when you sit on a playground for two hours. Good lord.”

“We’ve been here that long?” Amy pulled out her own phone to check.

Jake nodded and held out a hand to her, and she took it and let him haul her to her feet. His hand was warm from his pocket and the touch sent a spark up her arm, making her shiver in a way she wasn’t sure was from the cold. He didn’t let go right away, and when Amy turned toward the stairs to climb down from the play structure, he tugged her in the opposite direction.

“You know we gots to slide,” he said, jerking his head that way.

“Jake, we’re too big-”

But Jake was pulling her in front of him, and he manhandled her onto the top of the slide and said, “Ladies first!” and gave her a shove. Amy screamed as she slipped down, surprised by how fast she was moving. She hit the lip at the bottom and toppled off, just barely managing to stay on her feet.

A second later Jake yelled, “Yippee ki yay, mother fucker!” He raced down, and when he hit the bottom he flew right off and slammed into Amy, knocking them both back into the sand.

Amy grunted as she landed hard on her back, surprised more than hurt. She felt Jake on top of her, and looked up to find his face inches from hers. She stared into his wide eyes, her heart pounding, and then he rolled off and scrambled to his knees at her side.

“Oh my god, are you okay? I had no idea that was going to happen, usually the kids’ slides aren’t that fast.” Jake’s hands hovered over her, like he thought he should be checking her for injuries but wasn’t sure if he should touch her. “Oh god, you’re hurt, aren’t you. Should I call someone? I should call 911. No, I can take you there myself. Can you walk? I can carry you to my car, I’m only a couple blocks from here-”

Amy bit the inside of her cheek. “Jake-”

“No, don’t talk-”

“I’m fine,” Amy managed before she broke down, laughing so hard she was practically wheezing.

Jake went quiet, and Amy sat up and tried to say something encouraging but just ended up collapsing into more laughter.

“I hate you,” Jake said, obviously fighting a smile. “Sincerely.”

“If you have a car,” Amy said, breathless, “could you give me a lift home? Or would you rather carry me?”

Jake smirked at her, then stood and brushed the sand off his legs before offering her a hand again.

+++

Late night dinners became a regular thing.

Jake got the feeling that Amy had reservations about how much time they were spending together, though she never said anything directly. She came armed every time with a question or request for him: a penal code she didn’t understand, his thoughts on something another source had told her, where she might track down some key piece of information she was missing. He helped when he could, but they inevitably ended up chatting about personal stuff after a few minutes.

He didn’t mind. They were both surprised to learn how similar their jobs could be, once they looked beyond who carried a gun and had the power to arrest people, and who actually knew how to use a semicolon and had the power, in theory, to take down the president of the United States.

They both regularly got phone calls from people who swore that airplane contrails were really secret government vaccination programs. They both had at least old person who sent them literal letters – like in envelopes, with stamps and everything – offering unsolicited advice on their jobs. Amy had an old woman who called her once a week to correct her grammar (“It’s not my fault! The copy desk is supposed to catch that stuff!”) and Jake had an old man who called every Tuesday to complain about the trash cans blocking his driveway after the garbage trucks came through (“I don’t know why he doesn’t call sanitation. Am I supposed to arrest the garbage man? Or woman?”). And, it turned out, both of them always answered those calls and listened and agreed that yes, their grandchildren should call more often.

“She just seems kind of lonely,” Amy said one night, as they shared a basket of deep-fried pickles at a bar all the way out in Bushwick. They tried to avoid the neighborhoods around the newsroom and the precinct and either of their homes, and though Amy didn’t always love the commutes, she had to admit it was kind of nice to shake up her routine.

“Yeah, Fred too,” Jake said. “Sometimes I wonder if he isn’t putting his own trash cans in the driveway just so he has an excuse to call me.”

They also shared somewhat pathetic dating lives. When Jake asked one night if she had a boyfriend, Amy shook her head and said she was determined to focus on her job for the moment. “I get it,” Jake said. “The NYPD doesn’t play very well in most relationships.”

They texted every day, and met up two or three times a week. Every now and then one of them would turn down the other’s invitation – they did have friends, or he at least assumed Amy did – but they usually made up for it in a day or two.

Only once did Jake hesitate with his reply, when Amy texted him late one Thursday afternoon. He’d had a rough day and he wasn’t sure if he could be his usual charming, and admittedly silly, self. After an hour, though, he texted back a thumbs up.

Amy had picked some weird sausage-based restaurant for this meeting, and Jake was relieved he didn’t have much of an appetite. He smiled when he saw her and gamely ordered a beer.

“You have to at least split a sausage platter with me,” Amy said. “My coworker swore this place is amazing but he has very questionable taste and I am not going into this alone.”

“Yeah, a friend of mine actually recommended this to me once but I couldn’t go through with it,” Jake said.

Amy ordered the platter and while they waited for the food she filled him in on the progress she’d made on the detention center story. Jake listened and nodded along, quietly drinking his beer. When he ordered a second pint, Amy looked him in the eye and said, “What’s up, Jake?”

He frowned and thought about saying nothing, nothing was up, but he didn’t really feel like lying. Instead he just shrugged, which felt passive-aggressive and pathetic but he wasn’t sure what else to do.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me anything,” Amy said, voice dropping as she leaned forward. “But you’ve obviously got something on your mind, and if you want to talk, you can.”

Jake was dismayed to feel the prickle of tears in his eyes, not from any particular grief or sadness but from the gentle tone of her voice, from the kindness she was showing him. He took a deep breath and turned away from her, willing himself not to cry. The waiter arrived then, setting a truly horrifying pile of sausage between them, and Jake couldn’t help but laugh. He blinked a few times, and his eyes were dry as he faced Amy again.

She answered his grin with a small smile of her own that didn’t reach her eyes. But as she picked up a fork and stabbed at one of the sausages – the look on her face could only be described as equal parts terrified, disgusted, and stubborn – Jake blew out a breath and decided to go for it.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he said, opening his napkin and spreading it carefully over his lap just to have something to do with his hands. “One of my CIs died today.”

“That’s awful, Jake.” Amy dropped the fork, the sausage landing halfway on her plate and the table. “I’m so sorry.”

Jake shrugged, feeling a little like an asshole for coming across so callous, but he really didn’t do well with emotions. “He hadn’t been an informant for all that long, like three months maybe.”

“Still, you get to know them and rely on them,” Amy said. “They’re like your sources. Oh my god, I’d be devastated if something happened to you.”

Jake looked up at her and stared, feeling a little gut-punched.

“It’s not like that,” Jake said, softy.

“Not like what?”

Jake held her gaze, trying to ignore the tension that seemed suddenly strung between them, like a physical thing. He could feel his breathing coming too fast, could feel the slow flip of his stomach.

“Not like us,” he said.

He quickly looked down at his plate, coughed and cleared his throat.

“I mean, informants have a pretty short life expectancy as it is,” he said, trying to shift the subject. “They’re usually criminals, more often than not they’re talking to the cops just to keep themselves out of trouble or get a competitor off the street.”

“Right, of course,” Amy said. He glanced back up to see she was focused on her sausage again, cutting it up into bite-sized pieces but not actually eating. “Still, I’m sorry. Do you know what happened to him?”

“You mean, did he get nailed for snitching?” Jake said. Amy snapped her head up in alarm, already protesting, but Jake held up a hand and smiled faintly. “It’s okay, it’s the first question we ask. In this case, no, I don’t think so. He was found dead of an overdose.”

“Oh, that’s- good?” Amy said, flustered.

“Better than being shot, but that’s also an occupational hazard,” Jake said. He realized he felt hungry, for the first time since learning about his CI that morning, so he stabbed a sausage too. “One interesting thing, it looks like he OD’d on that new drug, Jazzy Pants.”

“Whoa, wait, new drug?” Amy said. “What’s this?” She was already digging into her purse, presumably for her notebook and pen.

Jake laughed and waved her off. “I swear, I don’t know anything else about it. The Vulture won’t let us investigate it because the Seven-Eight has a task force.”

“The 78th,” Amy muttered to herself as she wrote it down.

“Um, one more thing,” Jake said. Amy put away her notebook and looked back at him expectantly. “You won’t write about any of this, right? Like the CI, or, whatever?”

“Of course not.” Amy looked truly surprised. “Jake, this was personal. I would never do that to you.”

Jake let out his breath and nodded once. “I know. I know you wouldn’t. I just-”

“I get it,” Amy said. “Reporters have a certain reputation. But we’re not all vultures.”

Jake actually laughed at that. “Trust me, I know you aren’t a vulture.”

Amy rolled her eyes at him, but she also gave him a fond smile. They were both quiet for a while, a comfortable silence falling between them as they finally got to work on the sausages.

Jake realized after a few minutes that – despite the sausage already heavy in his stomach and the emotionally charged conversation they’d just endured – there was a lightness in his chest and his head that he couldn’t identify. It wasn’t quite happiness or relief, but something close to peace. He looked across the sausage mountain at Amy, and he smiled.

CHAPTER 6

#b99 fic #jake and amy au #peraltiago #newspaper au #life writes its own stories

18 notes · View notes

snarky-gourmet · 5 years

Note

She deleted so I guess all of you got what you wanted. She won’t answer messages on kakao or texts. She didn’t deserve this.

Sorry this took me more than a day to get to, I don’t usually check my inbox unless I get a notif, and then it took a while to write everything out as it is quite lengthy and then on top of that the incidents related to this topic kept persisting literally as I wrote it :)

I checked the time stamp on this when I saw it and it seems like you sent this about an hour after I talked to Madds’ friend yesterday–we had a very civil and pleasant talk that cleared up a lot of stuff and she informed me that Madds is doing just fine, which I’m extremely glad about. **Edit: on March 21st, 2 days after the first conversation between us, I received messages from Madds’ friend to alert us that Madds has contacted an attorney, and then continued to falsely accuse those of us in the group chat, including those who have never had ANY involvement in this from the beginning of the disagreement until now, of stalking and harassing her. Those screenshots will be included at the end of the post.**

There seems to be a lot of rumours going on and a lot of people are under the wrong impression given the fact that Maddison has spread falsehood after falsehood in order to make herself look like the victim in a situation that should have been initially so insignificant, there was no valid reason for victim-hood on either side.

This conflict with Madds has been ongoing for several months now, and all of us involved are honestly done with the false accusations, vague-posting, and borderline harassment. As a result, the decision to make this post was reached.

This post’s purpose is to clear our names and make it known that the things Madds has been saying about us are not true. We do not wish for ANYONE to go after Madds or her friends. We would never want harm to come to her. All we want is for this to stop, and according to her party, that’s what she wants as well, so here we go.

Let me make it clear:

None of us from the fandom-oriented group chat Madds used to be in, and then left on her own after a disagreement, have ever:

-Stalked Madds through her public blog or through any other platforms

-Bullied her off the site

-Stabbed her in the back

-Sent her anon hate/death threats or asked others to on our behalf

-Done anything at all that was malicious towards Madds at any time

The only times any of us have contacted Madds personally since she left the group chat have been to try and reason with her, to try and console her, to try and ask her to stop making vague posts about us, to stop blaming us for the anons she was getting, and to ask her to stop trying to turn shared friends/mutuals against us and let the incident go.

The only times any of us have been to Madds’ new blog after she deleted her old one have been to check on her well being, as we would never want harm to come to her, as well as when she has mentioned any of us by name and people who were shared friends/mutuals brought it to our attention.

I will not be mentioning all names of people involved in this conflict as none of us from the group chat at least, wish to drag any more people into this mess who really didn’t have anything to do with it.

Until this point, my personal role in all of this has been little more than a bystander. I am still an active member of the group chat that Madds left, and I know everyone in there very well. I have witnessed what has happened since the start and with the permission of everyone else from the gc, I’m happy to provide answers as to what has actually been going on.

Below the cut is a timeline containing all screenshots we have of everything that has gone on from the beginning of the conflict leading up to a few days ago now, when Madds apparently made the choice to delete her blog completely unprompted by any of us, who were all making it a point to distance ourselves more than before after she threatened to call the cops on us in a text post because she thought we were stalking her.

Tw for in-depth mentions of suicide baiting and implications of self-harm among other things that may be distressing for some to read.

–

The initial disagreement that started all of this took place on November 21st last year, and it is quite frankly, embarrassing and unnecessary that such a small scale disagreement escalated to the extent that it did, and is still ongoing despite our (the gc’s) attempts to reason with, and then when that didn’t work, cease contact with Madds.

We were discussing Key’s upcoming album when Madds (sunshinekibum) brought up how she wishes that sh/awols were more hyped about it, which was a valid point of discussion to be made.

Madds expressed how she felt that she and other lockets couldn’t be happy without others having a negative reaction to it. Kiri brought up the fact that it was close to December, and therefore it was not anyone’s fault if they were not in high spirits, but made it clear that lockets had every right to be happy and there was nothing holding them back from that. Madds apologised, appearing to have taken it the wrong way, then removed herself from the server.

After she had left, Kiri messaged Madds via tumblr to talk things through.

Kiri reiterated that due to the timing of Key’s album being released, she and some other sh/awols were having a hard time being excited and clarified that her words were not meant to be taken as a personal attack on Madds. She apologised, as did Madds, but Madds did not understand that Kiri was not claiming her words to be insensitive. She instead appeared to be using the incident to beat herself up. Kiri pointed out to Madds that she had made a valid point and the way she felt was justified, so there was no reason she should be so harsh on herself.

Madds then explained the reason behind why she left the group chat, citing a difference in viewpoints as well as a desire to not cause any harm, which she had never caused in the first place. Efforts were made to try to get her to see that and possibly invite her back to the gc on her own terms.

Kiri brings up how Madds is misunderstanding her words and feelings about the disagreement in the group chat and doesn’t seem to be interested in seeing her side to things. Madds responds by clarifying that her words were not aimed at Kiri specifically but rather meant as a generalised statement from what she had personally seen. She also acknowledged that proximity to December as a factor, but also stated that she still felt as if she were going to face criticism for being excited by those who were not. Kiri then defends herself, citing Madds’ word choice and tone as the reason for her own words in the group chat.

She continues and points out that Madds is the one beating herself up in this situation, and that no one thought ill of her and no one was harmed by Madds’ words. Kiri then clarifies again what exactly the source of the disagreement was, and requests that Madds does not twist her words as a means to punish herself. Madds apologises.

After this, a bit of time passed, and Madds changed her Tumblr URL to “imaginemp3″. During this same time, there was a post made by Madds that Kiri later alludes to, that appears to reference the disagreement that happened between her and Kiri in the gc, suggesting that she had resentment, or at the very least, remaining displeasure with Kiri for said disagreement. It was later deleted.

Shortly after, Kiri deactivated her previous blog due to an extremely high amount of anon hate and desire to distance herself from the drama at hand. A mutual friend of ours and Madds was also receiving such anons.

After Kiri deactivated, Madds began receiving anons as well, written in the same tonal and vocabulary pattern as the ones Kiri and the mutual friend received, suggesting that they were all sent by the same person. We suspect that Madds is the one who sent them to Kiri, the other recipient, and herself as well. This is the event that Madds claims was all of us in the gc “bullying her off the site”. None of us sent those anons to her. Unfortunately, no screenshots of the ones Kiri nor the other person received exist due to A) the upsetting nature of the messages and B) at the time they received the messages, there was no reason to save evidence of them, seeing as how it was on in retrospect that we suspected Madds of being behind them.

Above are some of the anons that Madds had received, accusing her for being the reason Kiri had deactivated and for suicide baiting her. As a result, Madds makes the last post at the top of the image.

Thinking the worst, many of the people from the group chat and who followed Madds reached out to her via dms and text.

Among those people were Izzy (keyjapandebut) and someone who will be referred to as Sunny, as it is unnecessary to bring their name into undesired drama. Sunny is the 3rd person besides Kiri and Madds to have received the anons just mentioned.

Izzy initiates the conversation and tries to make sure that Madds is alright after the anons she got. Madds deflects, expressing concern for Kiri as priority even after Izzy states that Kiri is fine. Madds continues to place all of the blame on herself unnecessarily. This is when she alludes to the vent post previously mentioned, denying that it was about Kiri or the subject of their disagreement. (Due to the timing of the anons that both Kiri and then Madds received however, as well as the wording in Madds’ post, the opposite appears to be true. Izzy attempts to talk Madds down from the place she was in, and he tries to reason with her.

After Izzy’s first attempt to explain to Madds that she can still talk to Kiri if she needed to, Madds claims that she had been blocked by Kiri on the platforms she could have reached her on, which was not true according to what Kiri had shown us. The most likely explanation, if Madds had indeed sent 4 different discord messages to Kiri, but they had not been delivered, is that since they no longer had a shared server, discord would not deliver Madds’ messages to Kiri. However, when a message does not go through on discord, a bot will reply to the sender with the reason why.

Madds then states that she had requested Sunny to give her phone number to Kiri.

(*There is a missing screen shot before the first message from Izzy in this set. They were taken to show Kiri during this last attempt of his to mediate between the two, then deleted from his device immediately after, so he does not remember the context of the first message.)

Madds once again just asks for Izzy to deliver the message that she says sorry to Kiri and the rest of us. At the same time that Izzy is talking to Madds, he is delivering what Madds asks him to to Kiri. Kiri asks Izzy to relay to Madds that all she wants from this is for Madds to move on. To this request, Madds says she cannot and says that we “can all go be fine without her”. Izzy asks what Madds meant by this, reassures her that what she is suggesting is not necessary for a resolution, and that she had not caused Kiri the amount of distress she thinks she caused her from the disagreement in the gc. To this, Madds seems to shut off, repeating “okay im glad she’s okay”. Izzy picks up on the fact that Madds isn’t really listening anymore, and points it out. Madds continues to just say that “we don’t have to worry about her”.

Izzy attempts to explain as someone who was still on good terms with Madds at this point in time that ceasing all concern over her wasn’t possible, but Madds argued, claiming that since we “all have each other there’s no reason any of us need her”. Izzy sees that as long as Madds is acting like this and continuing to make herself out to both be the sole reason behind all of this as well as the victim at the same time, and tries to reach a resolution with Madds. Madds then says goodbye, that she’ll be okay, and that she is sorry for causing trouble, but will “make sure it doesn’t ever happen again” (that clearly didn’t happen). This was Izzy’s last interaction with Madds.

None of us blamed her for anything that was going on at this point, nor did we ever say anything to imply that we wanted her gone or to feel guilt. All we wanted was for her to stop beating herself up so much–as none of us saw a reason why the disagreement back in November should have caused such distress–and to listen to the words we had to say, as we were genuinely concerned for Madds’ well being.

It was only after later examination of the language that she used during her talk with Izzy, the fact that Madds was still connecting this back to the rather small disagreement that took place, her initial reaction to the disagreement, and the eventual realisation that all of the anons that had been received by Madds, Kiri, and Sunny had the same syntax, that an inkling of suspicion ever rose up in regards to Madds. Izzy in particular became suspicious of Madds due to his first encounter with her when her url was peachykibummie. Madds was a stranger to him, a stranger receiving suicide-baiting anons with the exact same syntax as the ones she, Kiri, and Sunny received. Izzy’s efforts to console her led to a friendship that is now history.

A little while after Izzy and Madds had their conversation, Madds and Sunny had talked. Sunny had told Madds that Kiri wished to speak with her.

(Kiri: Blue Text —— Madds: Grey Text)

The second message that Kiri sends addresses the apparent overreaction Madds has displayed since their disagreement. At this point, suspicion that Madds was acting like this out of desire for some sort of attention was starting to rise up.

To Kiri’s questioning, Madds acts as if she does not understand what Kiri is referring to. Kiri was aware of the way Madds had spoken in the chat with Izzy, as he had been the middleman between Kiri and Madds.

At the bottom of the first image in the set/top of the second image, Kiri brings up the fact that she did not receive any sort of messages from Madds as she had claimed from the conversation with Izzy. Kiri also brings up the post that Madds had made that seemed to have been about her and that seems to have kicked off the series of anons that Kiri, Madds, and Sunny all got.

Madds responds by claiming that she never lied and that Kiri deleted and blocked her over the post she had made, when in reality, Kiri had deactivated due to the anons, and denies that the post was about Kiri, despite the subject matter of the post being the same as the disagreement right down to the details.

(Last text cut off on the bottom reads “Move on. I have.”)

In this series of texts Madds does not understand that everyone was scared for her and that is why multiple individuals checked up on her after she made an alarming goodbye post after the anons she got were suicide baiting her. She then tries to turn the tables on Kiri and accuses her of being the one who is still upset over the disagreement, when the thing Kiri is actually upset over is the post, the anons, Madds essentially disregarding everyone’s concern while attempting to cause guilt at the same time, and then lying about several different things that have happened.

In Kiri’s message she brings up that it was believed that Madds was the one behind all of the anons, as supported by a multitude of details about them. She then clarifies the fact that people checked on her out of concern, as previously mentioned. Kiri also brings up the apparent guilt-tripping that Madds is doing and mentions that she wishes that Madds gets help, but doesn’t wish for Madds to use her as a means to punish herself, which is what she was doing. Lastly, Kiri expresses that she only wanted to ensure that Madds was alright, and that at the end of it all, nothing in the disagreement was important enough for all of this to come out of it.

Those were the last messages exchanged until December 28th.

On December 28th, Kiri has messaged Madds prefacing her request that she drop the situation once and for all after after Kiri had heard from Sunny that Madds was still not past the conflict, and had worked Sunny up enough to cause serious upset, with an apology. Kiri then brings up the fact that she blocked Madds in an attempt to put everything behind them and create distance.

Madds retorts that she had not tried to contact anyone except for Sunny since Kiri had blocked her. Madds then argues that what she says to Sunny about Kiri, who is, once again, someone who is a friend of both Kiri and Madds at this point, is none of her business and that Kiri has “her clean break’ due to the fact that Madds has not talked to her directly.

While it is true that Madds had not spoken to Kiri personally, she had tried to turn Sunny against Kiri, making Kiri out to be malicious towards Madds, and Madds herself the victim. That is what Kiri refers to in her first message in the second picture.

Madds says that it was an honest question for Sunny, and that she is allowed to ask questions and have her own opinions like everyone else. No one had implied that she was not allowed to have her own thoughts and ask questions to Sunny, the question was simply why she had done so if she had supposedly moved on. Kiri acknowledges Madds’ point, and continues asking what Madds’ goal was in asking if she really wanted nothing to do with her.

Madds responds by claiming that her inquiry to Sunny was out of concern for Sunny. Kiri then brings up the fact that while doing so, Madds had caused a significant level of distress to Sunny. Madds responds, suggesting that she did not understand how she had hurt Sunny. Kiri explains that there wouldn’t be a point due to Madds sole response to previous attempts at both Sunny and Kiri explaining how she has caused them harm has been that she “saw how it could come off that way” while never acknowledging what she had done. Kiri then elaborates by telling Madds that Sunny had said to Kiri that Madds had breached Sunny’s trust by attempting to turn her against Kiri.

Madds says that she is getting different stories on the matter, but apologizes for causing issues for Sunny and Kiri. Madds then brings up that her hurting Sunny does not excuse Kiri from hurting Sunny, which was never an argument Kiri tried to make in the situation. Madds also brings up that she wishes to continue the cease of contact that was previously between her and Kiri, and attempts to deflect any further discussion on the matter by claiming that Sunny does not want to be in the middle, which she would not have been if Madds had not tried to turn Sunny against Kiri.

Kiri points out that Madds has no knowledge of how she and Sunny had resolved things between them, and brings attention to the fact that Kiri has not mentioned Madds to Sunny or anyone else, but Madds was in fact mentioning Kiri in poor regards to Sunny, and that was the issue currently at hand.

Madds claims that Kiri is the one upset, and not herself, despite the fact that she had attempted to turn Sunny against Kiri for no apparent reason. Madds again cites concern for Sunny as being the motive behind asking why Sunny was still friends with Kiri. Madds apologises that her actions had hurt Kiri but does not feel as if she was in the wrong for her actions as they were supposedly out of concern for Sunny. She then claims again that she had let the disagreement go a while ago.

Kiri, done with being given the run-around by Madds, suggests a mutual agreement between the two of them to not bring each other up in any capacity any more, and that the two of them part ways and have their peace. Madds responds negatively, does not agree to the proposition, and again brings up that Kiri had contacted her first, which would not have happened had Madds not upset Sunny, and again pushes that what she says to others is none of Kiri’s business, apparently even if it directly involves Kiri.

To this, Kiri says that Sunny is not Madds’ friend, and Madds deflects by saying that Kiri and Sunny have different opinions on that matter and that it is not her issue. The last messages are sent by Kiri and are a request for Madds to gain maturity when dealing with conflict.

After this, there was no contact between any of us and Madds for a significant period of time. Madds had deleted her blog of her own volition. We had no reason to bring up her name in any capacity in the group chat, therefore we didn’t.

When things had settled, Kiri had created a new blog. Sometime during this duration, Madds had also remade and began claiming that we bullied her off the site. She began making vague posts that were in regards to us as well as posts that mentioned Kiri’s name and old URL specifically. These posts ranged from petty to the more malicious ones that were of Madds telling people the falsehood that we drove her off Tumblr.

There was no stalking involved to find her new blog, and to accuse us of such a thing is ludicrous. We are all in the same fandom, and due to this, Madds’ new blog was stumbled upon. We had no idea it was actually her until people who knew us alerted us of easytolovemp3 (Madds) talking shit about us, specifically Kiri. 2 and 2 were put together. Still then, only a handful of us who were actively present in the gc’s conversation at this time actually knew this was Madds, as the rest of us, namely myself and 1 other individual, were at our jobs at the time. Izzy and Kiri both blocked easytolovemp3 as soon as they knew it was Madds, not wishing to have contact with her.

Below is an image of a one of the petty incidents, essentially falsely accusing Kiri of being a kboo. This was brought to our attention through someone who was a shared mutual of both Madds and Kiri on their new blogs. You can see Kiri mentioned by name, and that is how this got around to us.

We were never actively dwelling on Madds’ new blog (or stalking as she put it) and until 2 weeks ago, two of us still didn’t know her new URL. One of us only found out yesterday. As a result, we do not have screenshots of all of the things she said during this time, nor did we save any of the screenshots others sent to us. The thought that this would be a still escalating issue at this point did not cross our minds back then, and honestly? We didn’t want to save the needlessly upsetting posts Madds had made.

Eventually, Kiri started receiving anon hate on her new blog and quietly abandoned it.

Sunny and Madds are still in contact at that point. Due to unrelated reasons, Izzy had deleted his blog some time in December. He recreated a new one this month with the purpose to have it as an art blog. It does not have his english name on it and the focus was on a different fandom.

Now we get to the point on the timeline that took place last week (the week of March 11th).

I had direct messaged Izzy on discord asking if he knew that Madds had deleted all of her posts except for several alarming and concerning ones, and he checked it out. I had gotten word from this from a friend. This was the first time that I had been to Madds’ blog and the first time I even knew this was her.

On her blog, everything was deleted except for posts of her once again accusing us of stalking her, as well as her essentially suggesting that she was going to commit suicide.

Both Izzy and I were extremely worried for Madds, as we would never want anything bad to happen to her. Despite the fact that she had accused the gc of stalking, bullying her off the site, sending her death threats, stabbing her in the back, etc., the fact that it seemed like she was going to harm herself was extremely upsetting. She is someone who we used to be friends with, after all.

In the first image, Madds claims in the tags of the bottom post that half of us have her blocked, which was not true. Only Izzy on his old blog and Kiri on her new one had her blocked. Izzy did not yet have Madds blocked on the newest blog he had just made. Everyone else in the gc had also not blocked her because some of us didn’t know about her blog until the most recent post about us “bullying her off tumblr” came to our attention and some of us had absolutely no involvement with the original disagreement and therefore, had no reason to even think about Madds. Kayden, for example, never had her blocked and had no involvement in any of this besides his proximity to Kiri and being in the group chat. We had indeed not interacted with her, but her claim that half of us had her blocked is incorrect.

We never sent her any of the anons she got on her imaginemp3 account, therefore her claims that we ruined the “one place she felt safe” and “ruined almost all her friendships” have no grounds and seem to be made purely for the sake of getting attention. Again, we strongly suspect that she was the one who sent her own self those anons. Additionally, if you recall the conversations Madds had with Kiri, she is told what exactly she did wrong: the issue was not the trivial disagreement back in November of last year, but the way she was spreading rumours, twisting words, and trying to turn people against us. Her claim to be the one “crying about it almost daily struggling with figuring out what she did wrong” makes no sense.

Shortly after we viewed the post, she had blocked both Izzy and I. Odd since neither of us had made contact with her or mentioned her in any way. It is unclear how she got Izzy’s new blog’s URL as his blog is no longer Sh/inee-oriented, has his English name no where on it, and no one outside of the group chat was privy to his new blog belonging to him. This, along with the timing of some of the vague posts Madds made previously, lead us to the conclusion that we believe someone in our group chat was essentially serving as a spy and sending Madds information on us. It does not add up any other way. The person/people who were possible suspects were removed from the group chat and we have had no further incidents directly tied to our suspicions.

On the left there is a new post coming after the ones in the left-hand image from the last set. On the right are more anons that she got.

The message on the top is the only reason Izzy and I continued checking on Madds’ blog at this point despite both of us now being blocked. It was to check on someone who seems to have posted a final goodbye–that’s what you do when you’re worried about someone, and we had more than reason to be worried.

Please take note of the one anon with the “x” signing the end of their message for later reference.

Above is an image of the post Madds had made after the ones in the previous set. Izzy had checked Madds’ blog early in the morning of last Tuesday, the 19th, to see if she was alright. He messaged me to tell me about it, as Madds was now threatening legal action against us, and I checked for myself, extremely alarmed.

In this post you can see a whole list of accusations Madds has against us, some very bitter adjectives, a lot of nasty names, and of course, the threat to contact the police. The nature of this post speaks for itself, so I don’t really feel the need to dissect it too much. “Terrified to make any move online because I knew you all would be waiting to ruin me again,” however, is especially interesting due to the fact that she was the one slandering Kiri’s name in particular, and every single time Kiri got a new blog, she received an avalanche of anons extremely similar to the others she had gotten before, some even bringing up personal matters that she only ever mentioned in the privacy of the group chat.

Considering the fact that we had done nothing in this extensive list, and she would have known this considering she was the one who had fabricated these baseless accusations, her threats to call the police on a group entirely composed of minorities, the majority being non-white and not a single one of us being cishet, honestly comes off as insidious.

(Some anons that were extremely similar in nature have been omitted due to the length of this post.)

On the left side of the screen shot, the first anon censors out Kiri’s most well known past URL, blingblingis. Madds clarifies that she was previously imaginemp3 before she deleted that blog and remade. “What she tried to pull with me,” alludes to the fabricated stalking, bullying, and other false accusations directed at Kiri and the rest of us. Madds then mentions in the tags that she knows that Kiri has a new blog, however she claims to not know the URL.

The second image in the screenshot can be taken as proof that Madds had spread rumours about Kiri bullying her off the site. Unless Madds sent this anon to her own self, in which case it is evidence of something else.

Please continue to note the “x” signing the end of that anon.

After taking note of all of this, Izzy and I both decided that it was in our best interest to no longer check on Madds even out of concern for her safety. We didn’t want for her to mistake that as stalking and push her towards legal action. It was unclear how Madds even knew we were checking on her at this point.

Later that day, I briefly and vaguely mentioned in the dms to a tumblr user I am friends with what was going on. Without me mentioning Madds by name, only (to be read in sarcastic tones) “How great it was to have someone who you used to be friends with threatening to call the cops on you and your friends over falsified accusations of stalking, harassing, intimidation, and bullying, all because she didn’t know how to handle a tiny fight over kpop,” she, who will be referred to as Moon, immediately knew who I was talking about.

As it turns out, Moon and Madds had spoken before, and Moon told me in a separate message that Madds was giving out a list of names of everyone in the group chat who she was accusing of stalking her, to those who messaged her asking for it. She also mentioned that Madds had told her the fabricated story of everything she claimed we had done to her, which made “us all sound fucking awful”.

The next day, Moon alerted me that Madds had deleted her tumblr out of the blue.

About an hour after Moon had told me that, Madds’ friend, who I mentioned way back at the very beginning of this post, messaged me.

Due to the fact that this individual is a minor that Madds has dragged into a dispute between adults and used as a middleman, they will be referred to as Nova to protect their identity. Please do not ask for their url. Please do not seek them out.

Nova begins interrogating me, who had no in-depth involvement prior to checking on Madds’ blog during her most recent alarming series of posts. Nova demands to know why the supposed “stalking” is going on “even though no one seems to want to talk to her after all of this” (correct!)

I clarify that none of us are stalking Madds, nor have ever stalked her or acted with any form of malice towards her. I also bring up the fact that I didn’t even know easytolovemp3 was Madds until my friend had seen the post making false accusations against us and told me. The fact that she did not have me blocked until after I looked at her blog is also something I brought light to, as well as the fact that the only time any of us from the gc have made contact with her since she left have been to ask her to stop posting about us.

Nova then presses for why we all still wanted to know about Madds and expresses that she thinks that it would’ve been better for us all just to leave it.

I do my best to remain extra civil during the exchange, as I do not wish to make things somehow worse than being threatened with legal action.

At the top of the left side, Nova has sent another message directly following her last one, asking for further clarification on the situation that’s taking place.

I provide a watered down and brief summary of what had happened to that point. I also state that the only reason anyone from the gc even knew about Madds’ new blog was due to the fact that she had literally mentioned Kiri by name. That Madds’ name was only brought up when Madds herself had done something directly affecting any of us, and that was also the only time Kiri had contacted her, was also brought up.

Nova asks how word got around that Madds remade and I clarify again that it was due to the fact that she had mentioned Kiri by name and everyone who knew put 2 and 2 together.

Nova presses again to know if we’re still worried about her, and I answer by saying that we are just worried about whether she may hurt herself, but no one has checked on her blog recently due to the fact that we don’t want our concern to be taken as “stalking”.

Nova accepts my explanation and then claims that Madds is alright and is “pretty much completely moved on now”, which is exactly the impression we all got from being threatened with legal action (this is sarcasm).

Not wanting to stir any issues between Nova and myself, as the conversation was actually going in a very civil manner, I say that I am glad that Madds is alright after her previous posts.

Nova thanks me for answering the questions and I assume that we are done with That.

However, on the 21st I received the first message on the right side of the screen shot from Nova.

Sunny has stated that she got the same message from Nova. She tried to calmly explain herself and Nova replied by telling her she doesn’t have the right to feel upset, in spite of Sunny’s urging that she didn’t do anything.

Nova notifies me that Madds has followed through with her threat of legal action in the form of contacting an attorney, and has named a handful of us from the group chat that she has accused of stalking and harassing her. She then tells me to pass along the message, which I do.

I write back, asking Nova to tell Madds that none of us have done the things she is accusing us of, and now attempting to prosecute us for, and that I am planning to make a post with every single screen shot of proof we are in possession of proving that she has lied and fabricated every single part of her story she has spread around about us as a response to this anon I am answering right now. I then pass along the promise from the gc that we all plan to fully cooperate if Madds gets an attorney, as we have done nothing wrong. This promise still stands.

Nova starts out by demanding to know how I knew her name, to which I respond that Kiri had told me who she was when I passed her warning of legal action along. I then begin questioning Nova as to what exactly Madds wants from all of this, as it has been literally months, and not only has she not let it go, but she has progressively made the situation worse for every single person involved, and has even dragged people who were never initially involved into it.

To my question, Nova claims that all Madds wanted was “to be left alone”. Nova then states that she remade with the intent of none of us ever finding her again, despite Madds mentioning Kiri by name, and then carries on to imply that it was somehow unthinkable that myself, Kiri, and the rest of the gc had access to Madds’ public blog that well over half of us were never blocked from. Additionally, Nova brings up the fact that Kiri had vented to Sunny about the fact that Madds was still not letting things go between them and was talking shit about all of us without any provocation whatsoever on any of our behalves. Nova also claims that “none of this would have happened if Kiri had just left her blog alone and stopped dragging (people?) into it” despite the fact that Kiri, nor any of us were actively “stalking” Madds’ blog, and we were all trying to stay away from her. Once again: Madds was the one dragging people into this. Nova again reiterates her claim that Madds “just wanted to be left alone and requests for all of us to “let it be over”, which is something we were all very much trying to do before shit hit the fan.

I make it clear that “Izzy blocked Madds as soon as he found out it was her in order to prevent any contact with her. Alex hasn’t been in the gc in forever. Kayden’s only association with this is that he is in the group chat. Kiri only found out about Madds’ new blog due to the fact that Madds kept on vagueing about her” (and blocked her immediately) and that due to the fact that we are all in the same fandom, it’s not as far fetched at all as Nova, and apparently Madds, are claiming it to be that Madds public blog was found out by us when people notified us of the slander going on.

Nova only says “She’s gone you don’t have to worry about it” in response to my message.

I bring up the fact that Madds is the only one still hung up over everything, and point out that we never talk about her unless she has done something to slander us recently, as we have no reason to. Again, I make it clear that we never did any of the things Madds claims we did and that she has painted herself as the victim in what, in reality, was a victimless disagreement. Lastly, I express exasperation with the situation, stating I don’t know what else Nova wants me to say here.

Nova responds by repeating that Madds is gone, which sounds like she is suggesting she is now dead in order to make us feel guilty. Thanks! Shame on you.

From this point until otherwise noted, it is a collection of accounts from Sunny as well as texts between Kiri and Alex to further back everything up.

Here is Kiri messaging Alex to confirm that Alex has only talked to Madds once, when they had messaged her after the initial disagreement and Madds was receiving anons telling her to kill herself among other things.

This is a quote from a conversation between Sunny and Madds after Sunny found out that Madds had posted threatening to call the cops on us. Screenshots might be able to be retrieved, but the original conversation between the two has been deleted since it took place.

Sunny: whatever you do, I am begging you to leave Izzy out of this. Please think about what the consequences could be about calling the cops on a mentally ill trans black man. Please.

Madds: I don’t care. If he wasn’t involved he should have nothing to worry about. Maybe he should have thought about that.

Here is a screenshot of texts between Kiri and Sunny discussing that Madds had then told the same thing to Sunny that she had said about Izzy:

Sunny has also provided the following statements:

“She (Madds) would often message me to ask how I feel about this stuff and said “don’t you know they hate me for things I didn’t do” and then mock me when I said I was not understanding.”

“(Madds) Suicide baited me when she knows that’ll work to scare me because of my PTSD.” This is in reference to the fact that Sunny’s childhood best friend killed herself and Sunny had confided this information to Madds when they were on friendly terms.

“She sends me this shit whenever I unblock her to tell her to stop posting about y’all, then threatens to delete and/or hurt/kill herself when I don’t feel sorry for her:

“

Sunny has also stated that she received this same exact anon that I am answering right now! That is so interesting and not at all suspicious or questionable!

Now if I can please ask you to recall the anons with the x signing the end of their messages.

This is a screenshot provided by Kiri (Kirious) of an anon an unrelated blog had received while she and Madds were still friends, before the conflict had started.

In this screenshot of the conversation in the group chat, you can see a photo sent by Kiri of that anon, calling blingblingis a “known bully and liar” as well as “literal trash”. The anon then tells the blog to turn off anon if Kiri sends her “minions”, presumably meaning the rest of us in the gc, after them. The message is signed with an “x”. We suspect that this was Madds sending that anon to that blog due to the fact that it is signed with an x just like the ones Madds had gotten.

Also just like the one that Madds’ friend, Nova had received:

(Screen shot taken by me after Nova messaged me yesterday and before Kiri told me who she was. I had visited Nova’s blog trying to figure out who the hell I was talking to)

The common use of the word “minions” is also a very interesting coincidence. Make of those what you will, but it’s clear that it’s likely either Madds herself or someone “doing her bidding for her”. They have censored Kiri’s name out.

Several of the anons that Madds was receiving longer ago, before this mess, that caused Izzy to initially reach out to Madds at the start of their friendship were also tagged with x’s.

Lastly, but still related, here is a screenshot of the group chat when Kiri got anons mentioning her home life, something that she only discussed in the group chat, and therefore, was only known to members of the group. This also took place before November 21st. These anons were sent to Kiri after the unrelated blog got the anon signed with an “x”.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that having to provide a ton of screenshots to clear our names after all this damage Madds did was unforeseen, screenshots of the actual anons do not exist.

If you’ve made it to the very end of this very lengthy post, I want to thank you for the time you took to read it.

Let it be known that this post was made as an attempt to finally put a stop to Maddison doing the exact thing she accused us of doing so persistently: stalking, harassing, threatening, lying, backstabbing, sending violently malicious anons, and bullying people into remaking their blogs.

We do not wish for ANYONE to go after those who have ties to Madds, nor those who got dragged into this or provided us with helpful information, and that is why we have omitted so many names. If those people wish to come forward with their identity, that is up to them and only them.

So, no anon. We did not get what we wanted. Thank you for asking, though. We just want this to stop, it’s been long overdue.

#Anonymous

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jisunwithtaeandkookie · 5 years

Text

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.24

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn't know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people's lives in seconds. That's a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS's friendship forever...but that's a secret even you don't know yourself.

Pairing: Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre: Humor/Angst

Words: ~2350

[Tuesday, 30 October, 07:49 PM]

Jimin flinched as the cotton touched his skin.

“OH GOD JIMIN SORRY!” I yelled, and he closed his eyes, putting his good hand in front of him. “It's okay, Y/N, I am okay. Don't scream like that.”

I calmed down, and held the cotton more firmly in my hand. “I will be gentle this time, promise.” I pouted, and he nodded, smiling. I gathered up my courage and started with the dressing once again as he flinched once more. “Keep going, don't worry.” He said, and I looked up at him apologetically. “Just one more minute, Jimin.” I said. He smiled again, nodding, but I could see he was wincing.

“Easy, easy, Jimin.” Hoseok walked towards us and stood beside where Jimin was sitting, and put his hand on Jimin's shoulder, comforting him while trying to get a good look at his hand. “Is it deep?” He asked me this time.

“No it is not deep.” I said, putting a band-aid on Jimin's hand. “It also stopped bleeding.”

“It was bleeding before, though.” Jin said, looking pointedly at Jungkook, who was sitting with his face hung low, at the other end of the couch. He didn't reply.

“I am not even going to ask.” Namjoon said, also looking at Jungkook.

“Just thank God that he is not seriously injured, Jungkook.” Yoongi sneered.

I sat where I was, Jimin's hand still in my grasp. My gaze was fixed on the wound on his hand, and I had my teeth clenched when I spoke up.

“Jungkook, apologise to Jimin.”

It was a whole minute after I heard Jungkook's dull but firm voice.

“No.”

[Tuesday, 30 October, 07:49 AM]

“Can you close the door, Y/N? It's cold!!”

“On it.”

“Grandpa.” Namjoon mumbled under his breath. Jungkook, who was sitting beside him, shot him an amazed look.

“What did you say?” Yoongi asked, frowning, and Namjoon shrugged, shaking his head vigorously. “Nothing. What can I say?”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes. “Feeling cold has nothing to do with age.”

“Yeah, uhm..sure.” Namjoon shrugged again.

Yoongi sighed. “Of all these kids, I did not expect this from you.”

“Hyung, but he is also a kid, you know?” Jungkook said, wrapping his arm around Namjoon. Jimin, who was sitting on the other side of Namjoon, snickered on this. “Yes, hyung, he is practically a part of the maknae line.” He said, also wrapping his arm around him. Namjoon looked at both of them one by one, and they both flashed him a grin. He narrowed his eyes and was about to say something but then he sighed. “I…give up.”

“As a member or as the leader?” Jungkook and Jimin said the words together.

“If he gives up as the leader, I call the shots.” Hoseok jumped up, and Yoongi shot him an annoyed glare, as well as Jimin and Jungkook. “I disagree, I think Yoongi hyung should be the leader.” Jimin said. “He is such a responsible person.”

“Yeah, very. Like how he takes the responsibility for sleeping on behalf of all the members.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “All hail the leader, who is sleeping by the way!”

“I am not even going to object.” Yoongi said with a shrug.

"Let me guess, you want to be the leader?” Hoseok said, pointing at Jungkook, and he flashed a bunny smile. “I don't think anyone else is fit for the job anyway.”

“Oh, in case you don't know, I am still here, so don't you worry for that position of leader being empty, Kookie.” Hoseok smiled, emphasising the word Kookie. Jungkook scowled.

“Makes me wonder why I can't be the leader, then?” Jimin frowned, thinking, and Jungkook smirked. “I can think of one reason.” He mumbled slowly.

Jimin looked at him, fuming. “Jeon Jungkook, for Christ's sake, when would you stop with my height??”

“Ayy, stop this childish behavior.” Jin said, and everyone fell silent. “What is with this leader talk all of a sudden? Namjoon is not going anywhere anytime soon and let's face it, none of you have even the L of the leadership ability that he possesses.”

“I am not even going to object.” Yoongi said again.

Everyone looked at each other. “Thank you, hyung.” Namjoon said, smiling lightly. “For being the only sensible per-“

“And besides, if anyone should be the leader, it is me, because I am the oldest and I deserve to be the leader before any of you losers do.” Jin snickered.

“-son in this…” Namjoon said the words slowly, the smile gradually fading away from his face, being replaced by a sigh. “….room. Why do I even bother?”

The four of them started blabbering again, all at the same time. I sighed, taking a deep breath in from where I was standing, watching all of this taking place in front of me. They sure had distracted me from Tae: even though I still missed him, I was feeling a little happier than I was a few minutes ago.

“Okay, Mr. Reinforcements!” I clapped my hands. “Stop talking, and start working, or I will pack you in those boxes and ship you to Busan, and let me tell you, once you get to my parents, I can’t promise you that you will come outta there in one piece!!”

The room fell silent, and I felt 6 pairs of eyes at me for a second. “Why, they won't be happy to see us?” Hoseok asked, his eyes wide.

I put on a mock smile on my face. “Fun fact: 95% parents of the ARMYs are anti-ARMYs.”

They all looked at each other. “That is just cruel.” Jin said slowly. “I feel bad for you all, really. As for me, I am a real parent-pleaser, but you…you all have to face the wrath of all those parents, tsk tsk tsk.” He made a sympathetic face, patting Jungkook's shoulder, who was sitting beside him. Jungkook looked at Jin with narrowed eyes for a moment, and then swatted his hand away. “Get a life, hyung.”

“Take mine.” Yoongi said in a low voice. “Instead, make me a rock.”

I clenched my hands into fists, my patience wearing thin with these dorks.

“START WORKING!!”

“Yes ma'am!” Jungkook saluted, and jumping up, picked up the clock and a framed photo from the side table and threw it into a box which was lying nearby.

“Jungkook,” I facepalmed myself, scowling. “What am I going to do with you?”

“You heard her. Get to work!” Jungkook shouted, ignoring me. Jin, Hoseok, and Jimin stood up too and started putting things into boxes.

“I think she should be the leader.” Namjoon said in a low voice, leaning towards Yoongi, who shrugged.

“I am not even going to object.”

After a while of packing, the living room was almost empty. I looked around with a sigh: I was going to miss it. Everything. This house, this place, my friends, everything.

“Ahhh, I am exhausted.” Yoongi stood up, stretching. “Why do you have so many things to pack? Couldn't you be a hermit or something? They have less stuff.”

“Eyy, shut up hyung.” Jimin said, poking his head out of a box.

I smiled lightly. “I am gonna make you some coffee.”

Hoseok dropped some books he had in his hands on the floor. “I don't want your coffee. No thank you!!” Jimin looked at him with narrowed eyes, and Jungkook was Jungshook.

“Sorry about that, he just heard from Taeh- I mean somewhere, that your coffee tastes like crap.” Jin shrugged.

“Pick those books up hyung, it's not nice to drop a book on the floor.” Namjoon said.

“Hyung line, please shut up!” Jimin exclaimed, his face serious for some reason, and all the hyungs looked at him with their eyebrows raised.

“Oh, a little while ago, I was a maknae, now I am a hyung?” Namjoon frowned. Jungkook opened his mouth to answer him. I didn’t hear what he was saying; I couldn't hear as my eyes were focused upon Jimin who was coming towards me. “You okay?” He stood in front of me.

It took me a few seconds to compose myself. The time of leaving was coming nearer: I looked around the empty living room, and I missed someone. Someone who used to make fun of my coffee passionately. Someone whom I loved passionateIy.

“Hmm.” I nodded, and turned around. “I will be back with the coffee.” Saying that, I stepped towards the kitchen, not looking back even once. Jin's words echoed in my ears.

I mean, after Taehyung spray painted over it…

He had come here. He had come to see. Maybe not me, but he had come to see. He still cared.

But….he didn't want to see me. He didn't want to be with me. Maybe he used to care, but not anymore…? But then, why did he come to see how I was doing? Why did he spray paint over the writings on my door?

Because I promised you I will keep you safe!!

I remembered his voice all of a sudden, it was as if he was answering me. It was as if he was still with me…somehow, somewhere, he was still with me.

Then again…why wasn't he here?

I needed to ask him. I took my cell phone out to text him. I sent one text, and then stopped.

What was I gonna ask him? He wouldn't even reply me!

I sighed, looking down at the text I had sent him. I had just said his name.

I facepalmed myself. I had decided to refrain from asking the question, but now I needed to write something, since just saying his name would also make him suspicious.

I wrote a quick thank you for the spray painting, hoping that he wouldn't get suspicious of me. Never once did I notice that I didn't even need to care what his reaction would be. I guess it was just my subconscious: I just knew I cared.

I was about to put my phone down when it dinged, and I gasped. He really replied? I thought he wouldn't!

I guess I could ask the question now.

After a few minutes, I could see that I was wrong. He didn't reply to my question. I shouldn't have asked. I was such an idiot. Why would I think that he still cared enough to reply?

“I am not expecting anything.” I said the words out loud as I typed, and after sending the text, I sighed, tapping my foot impatiently as I waited for his reply.

“Good then.”

I gaped at the message he had sent me for a second. Seriously, Tae? I put my phone on the kitchen counter with a loud thump, fuming. Well, guess what Tae, I don't care either!! I was angry at him, I was angry at his stupid text, and…I was angry at myself.

But...I did care. I did regret lashing out on him. I did have tears in my eyes which I was so desperately trying to hold back. I blinked fast, looking up, as I sniffed softly.

Do you care, or do you not, Tae? Tell me once and for all, just….say something.

You know it all, you're my best friend…I could hear the faint sound of a song playing in some distance. I turned my gaze to the window, looking far away…looking at nothing, and at the same time, everything. Tae's voice pierced through my skin.

“Do I really know you, Tae?” I mumbled to myself. It was silent this time, I could hear all the other voices but Tae's voice was not here with me. I looked once in the direction where my phone was lying, and then I looked outside the window, hoping to find some answers, some sort of sign out there.

“Am I really supposed to know?”

“Of course you are.” I heard a voice behind me and turned around, my eyes wide. “Jimin? What-what do you mean?”

Jimin stood at the doorstep of the kitchen, looking at me with a serious expression. “You know what I mean, Y/N.”

“Uhm…” I was at a loss for words.

Suddenly his expression changed completely, and he smiled. “If you wouldn't know, how would you make coffee then?”

“Huh?” I stood flabbergasted at his words, and he giggled, coming towards me. “But just in case, let me help you.” He said, reaching towards the cabinet.

I composed myself. “No, uhm, I can do it by myself.”

“Oh yeah, that's why you have been standing here without doing anything.” He said, taking out a couple of coffee mugs from the cabinet. I looked down sheepishly, not sure whether to tell him or not about what I had been thinking. His words were still in my head. He said he had a solution, and he had also said he was here for me.

I didn’t know about the first part, but I did know that the second part was true, I thought as I watched him set the mugs down lightly. I smiled.

“Why are you like this?” I asked.

He turned towards me. “Like….nice?” He frowned, a small smile on his face.

“No, that's a given,” I tilted my head to the side, smirking. “I meant, like…a gentleman.”

He laughed, looking up. “I know, I have been trying to be charming. To be, you know, boyfriend material.”

I laughed as well, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You don't even need to try Jimin, trust me. You already are a perfect boyfriend material.”

“I am?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

He looked deeply in my eyes, his smile fading a little.

“Date me, then.”

“What?”

“Wouldn't that be the perfect solution, Y/N?”

I gasped. “Jimin, what are you-"

“You heard me.” He grabbed my hand which was on his shoulder and put it in both his hands. “You know, not all the doors are closed for you, Y/N.”

I stepped back, taking my hand out of his grasp. He easily let it go too; he didn't protest.

“I can keep you happy, you know? I can be the boyfriend you wished you had. I wouldn't slam the door in your face, like some people do.”

“Jimin, tell me you are kid-" I turned around, and stopped midway through my words as I saw Jungkook standing in the doorway, his eyes raging. "Jungkook..." I whispered.

“JIMIN HYUNG!!!”

--------------------------------------------------

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.24

Part 23//Part 24//Part 25

For other parts and the MASTERLIST, please refer to the link in my bio. Thank you so much for reading!!

So...here it is. I am really sorry for like, being practically dead all this time. I just want you to know that it is not a piece of cake for me to write this 10-minute read, it takes me a whole day to write one update. And my finals are upon me, so that was why I was not posting for such a long time. I will try my best to be regular, or at least I will inform you if I have to go on a hiatus. I will be regular after my exams, but until then, I hope you understand. Any questions about the update, please ask me, and if you want to talk to me, DM me and let's chat!! Stay updated, and happy reading!!

NEXT UPDATE COMING ON FRIDAY, 15 MARCH. (SATURDAY FOR SOME OF YOU, WHO LIVE IN THE FAR EAST)

Tag(s): @slut-for-fandoms

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rem289 · 5 years

Text

Response to (idiotic) accusations made by some people against me and especially Aoimotion

(which is why I have to waste time writing this stuff)

Hi guys,

Here I am again, with a "small" update of the journal published a few days ago here on my blog in response to an offensive, derogatory and defamatory post that unfortunately has been circulating for a month without the direct interested, I and above Aoimotion , being aware about it, as we weren’t intentionally mentioned, so we were denied the right to reply.

Of course I took care to reply immediately after discovering it, telling our version of the facts. But the post was soon removed, so all I could read were four short comments left by the owner of the blog on which the announcement was written, @spanish-vega

Needless to say, the cancellation didn’t bring benefits to its victims, since eliminating a post to the source on Tumblr has only the (partial) effect of hiding the identity of its author. Therefore, if you are interested in knowing what I am talking about, a copy of the accusations I’m going to reply to can still be found here.

This only shows how its content was a distorted interpretation of real facts that, once brought to light, irreparably refuted the veracity of the post in question, forcing the author, or more likely: the authors, to eliminate it before taking their own responsibility and have a real confrontation with me. Unfortunately, this action was too serious for me to ignore it. In this regard, I will now proceed to respond to the feedback I received from Miss Vega. There really would not be much to say, given that the comments (written, among other things, under HER OWN post), can hardly be considered an answer, so I will take this opportunity to focus on many issues that are close to my heart.

I want to warn you that in the following part the subjects will change often, sometimes I will refer to those directly involved or only one of them, sometimes to a wider audience, so sorry for this confusion, unfortunately the topics to be addressed are many.

Dear Vega, here we are again. I don’t know whether to feel more sad or worried by the fact that after all the time that has passed and even now that I have placed you before the fact, you say you have not regretted having basically tried to ruin a person's reputation. In part I envy you, I would also like to face certain things with such coldness. On my way I have met many boring and dishonest people, yet I have never dreamed of defaming them publicly, notwithstanding all the evil they had done and the reason I could have. Same for Aoi, of course, who between the two was the most oppressed in recent years. But in your case perhaps, this is the only way to really solve the matter, since the private ways don’t work, or rather, only serve to make fun of me, taking advantage of my honesty and fairness. It’s too convenient to pillory someone publicly and then demand to settle things in private; you all have always speculated on the fact that both Aoi and I are much more mature and discrete than you, so we would never have put ourselves at your own level (or your own pettiness, depending on your point of view). In fact, it was supposed to be like this, but unfortunately my tolerance has reached the limit, you managed to make me infuriate as few have succeeded in my life, so now I will repay you with your own medicine, the only one you know and that maybe have some effect on you.

You affirm that your wish was to make the truth known to the Spaniards, but I think it was more correct to say: "the Spaniards had to know my version of the facts", given that this was the case. Because the intention of the post you wrote wasn’t to inform people, but simply to seek consensus and compassion from them. If you had even had the slightest respect for those who would have read, you should have also involved the parts you accused so that the readers were provided with more complete information and not just your distorted and incomplete version. But I can imagine that, from the perspective of a liar, the idea of acting in conditions of complete incontestability is very appetizing, so I cannot say I'm surprised. Embittered, but not surprised.

You also continue to reiterate: "you know what Aoi did to @landsec (sorry, the tag doesn’t work because this person has blocked me, I will return to this point later)". Obviously I know, as a huge amount of people know, thanks to the political propaganda that your friend has not failed to do. Aoimotion had a heated discussion with him, as a result of which she apologized in spite of, let me to reiterate it once again, the first to be wrong was Landsec, for the reasons I explained in the previous post and that you will surely remember (assuming that you have read them). Too bad that, in addition to this episode of which Aoi has largely repented, for her part there has been no other action directed against Landsec. An intervention, perhaps more "important", happened later on my part. On this intervention, many words were spent in private, with the usual sharing of screenshots, but none in public. Perhaps, if the real problem were the things I myself told Landsec, it would have been more correct to address ME directly to make his grievances, rather than going through a person whose role in this feud is mostly incidental, and certainly not because Aoi or I asked for it. Anyway, some time later the famous translation policy post appeared on our channels. And here Aoi actually made a mistake, the only mistake that could be attributed to her: on DA, she signed the post with her name. She did it out of habit, because it was a few months since the account had passed from being “RemArt” to be “AoiRemArt”, so she tried to point out that it was now managed by two people, not just one. In addition, I let her write the posts because unfortunately it’s known that English isn’t my strong suit, so I agree it’s easy to associate her writing with her name. But it takes a lot of imagination to imagine that such a crucial and important post was written only by one of the two, from a common account, as if I had been watching while she was preparing the crime or, even worse, she had bound me and gagged me to deprive me of any freedom of speech, so she could freely do what she wanted. A fantasy that I prefer to call "convenience". The concepts of the post and the way in which they are exposed have been agreed both by Aoi and by me, as it has always been and as it still is, therefore, whatever offense you may have received in your opinion, be aware that it came fully in the name of both. The only thing I'm so sorry about is that I didn’t stop her right away when I saw that she had signed only on her behalf, because I gave people I thought smarter another opportunity to pour their hatred and frustration on her.

Anyway, I'm sorry to disappoint you, dear Vega, and all the rest of the people who share your thoughts, but even then you totally misrepresented what we were saying. We can only validate the Italian and English versions because they are the only ones edited by the original author of the texts: Aoimotion, who writes them personally and has full control. Since we don’t know other languages outside of these two, we have no tools or knowledge to verify the content of the text with confidence and to consider it 100% faithful to the original, correct or reliable. It’s pure and simple logic, concepts that should also be within your reach.

I’m sorry that my authorization has implied the opposite and has made you consider these texts as official, perhaps better than the original ones. It's probably another thing that I should have explained from the beginning. We don’t want to diminish the work behind it, but yours is still a fan-translation, certainly not considered as an official language released by us. If we did it we would take responsibility for making official a thing we don’t know, it would not be serious on our part.

About this, I take this opportunity to apologize to the translators for not having explained well right away that the first translations were authorized only by me and only by inexperience, due to the fact that I myself felt like I was using borrowed characters and I sincerely regret that all this happened, because if I had been more careful and far-sighted from the beginning, now there would be no translation in the first place and now we would have no problem.

Secondly, after all the conflicts that have existed, and still exist between us, not only I consider your vain attempts to flatter me ("incredible artist", "fantastic person" and so on) extremely hypocritical, but the thing that makes me laugh is how in public you proudly declare that you have no problem with me (feelings that, even if they were true, would not be returned from me anyway), when in private things go in a very different way.

I'm really sorry, Vega, that you spent your time writing a post in defense of Landsec, that you, blinded probably by some feeling that I don’t feel entitled to determine, called "one of the kindest members of this fandom". The same kind member who didn’t stop you when he had to and could do it, but made you cancel the post only when I intervened, exactly after a month. The same kind member who has denied any involvement in your actions, either in public or in private with me (I will spare you the agony of reading his own words because, unlike Landsec and probably many of his friends, we don’t have the same habit of divulging private conversations, even when we could take advantage from them, as in this case), running for cover, reblogging my post as if he wants to declare himself on my side, pleading - we don’t know who - to leave him alone, and discharging all responsibility on you and yours impulsivity, and then, on top of the cake, canceling his reblog just five minutes after doing it. The same kind member that blocked me just two days after the answer to my post in which he recited: "I don’t have any problems with Rem" and "We. Are. Cool. ". I suppose he must have been very afraid of being ignored for the first time by me, after I’ve always endeavored to behave with maturity towards him in an attempt to smooth out the shameful situations created by himself. In light of the fact that I find myself writing this unhappy communication, when I could use my time in more pleasant and productive ways, I gather that I was the only one of us who ever intended to definitively close this story.

Fortunately, before Landsec took his "precautionary measures", I had time to realize that the post in which he announced his retirement (the real one, not the defamatory garbage written a month ago) had been promptly canceled by his main channels. Evidently, when a better scapegoat was presented to him, which would have made his gesture a heroic martyr, he thought well to change the version of events. I could make a lot of comments about it, but I think that's already self-commenting. In any case, a "proof" that this post existed can be found at this link dating back to May 9th, in which it's clearly mentioned the retreat, already happened, of our kind member.

Now you will ask, why insist on this point? In reality it's very simple: the author of the defamatory post, quoted and linked at the top, has accused us, -no, maybe it's better to be precise: only Aoimotion- of Landsec's withdrawal, inserting this accusation even as subtitle of her the post ("Motivo del retiro de Landsec") . But if this post that I found refers to the Landsec's withdrawal on the 9th of May, I can assume that his abandonment was announced at least a few days before the 9th of May. And if the very first private discussion between Landsec and us took place about fifteen days later (in May 23-24th); And if the post about translation policy we made that, according to the opinion of the author of the post, would have completely destroyed the good intentions to continue in the translations of her friend, was published on June 25th, I wonder: itâs possible that these people have the gift of clairvoyance? Or can I just assume that unfounded and ridiculous accusations have been made with the intention of demonizing a person and, at the same time, gathering support and compassion?

Returning to us, always wanting to quote his "hit and run" reblog, in fact it was the same Landsec who writes: "So if you have any involvement with it [your post, Vega], solve it yourself and LEAVE ME ALONE ". So, from woman to woman, I hope that you, Vega, have long thought and drawn your conclusions after this shabby show. After all, he practically left you alone in my clutches, after you had exposed yourself so much to defend him. He didn't even try a second to protect you like you did with him. A kind person like him, does he really deserve your loyalty?

The connections between people are simple as long as they are coalescing in the face of the possibility of slandering, mortifying and tarnishing someone. In that case, people are ready to swear loyalty, support and mutual affection from here until the end of time. As soon as the nuance of reason and congruence is destroyed by the reality of facts, this is how these bonds crumble and change into the vile, filthy and disgusting vault I have ever seen.

That would be great, since everyone is free to build their personal bonds in the way that best suits him/her ... if not that, these same people ready to tear each other if the situation worsens, even find the courage to distort the partnership between me and Aoi, painting it like a toxic relationship in which she manipulates me according to her will, and I'm reduced to a doll that is limited to executing orders or, in the best case, watching while she sows discord and destruction in the name of both.

At this point, you understand that I cannot ignore such a foul-smelling accusation, so let me tell you how things are: none, and again, none of the things I've said or done in the past two years have been influenced by Aoi. Because, you know, I'm also capable of independent judgment (ability that instead of many of you are missing, I noticed) and not only, I'm even able to get angry! I understand that it sounds absurd, so take a minute of meditation to assimilate this information, and then take a few hours, or days, or even weeks, to realize how all the things that you didn't like and that you think damaged you, that you considered more convenient to attribute to my partner, in reality they were the combined and harmonious effect of two minds that have always worked in perfect harmony, without never prevaricate each other. And perhaps, for many of you, the problem has been (and still is) just that. You can hardly forgive me for I have found a partner "out of the group" (who anyway I knew and with whom I had a firm friendship since well before knowing you, in case you didn't know or you were conveniently forgotten) with whom I chose to work closely, a person whom I admire and whom I appreciate, an I'm very fond of, who made me embark on a project for which I decided it was worth it, which goes beyond fame and glory and any other value to which you attach importance. Perhaps many of you have been wondering for months: "Why Aoi? Why not us?", and so, you decided to vent this suppressed frustration on her, when perhaps, and I say perhaps, the person you really wanted to vent your livership was and is me.

I will not deny that, for the short time I attended your group, I appreciated your company. As I told to Landsec in the last message I sent him months ago, there were people among you whom I esteemed and respected and which were pleasing to me, but I always treated our relationship lightly; I never thought there was anything between us that could go beyond kindness and mutual courtesy. We were acquaintances, and nothing more than that, and I'm really sorry if my attitudes (which no doubt were wrong) may have given some of you reason to think otherwise, or in any case to "elevate" our relationship to something more. But this has never authorized you to treat Aoi in the way you did, to denigrate her, to deride her and to accuse her of having performed actions on behalf of both, overshadowing my will and my ideas completely, as if there was no way that I could be something else than what you thought I was. Your myth of Rem always kind, always available and always friendly is an image that you have created of me, which absolutely doesn't belong to me, which I consider incredibly reductive and silly to apply on a person since, sorry if I always repeat the obvious, the reactions are adapted to the situations and you have given me many reasons to be anything but courteous and kind to you. All of this is a mirror of what your real opinion is of us, of the presumption that you have to know two people whom you have always chosen to see only the part that made you more comfortable, and probably even what is the limit of your reasoning ability.

And now I refer directly to the “translators”, I regret to find out that for a long time you have translated comics written by a person you don't esteem at all, as opposed to what you claim to think of me. I sincerely ask myself why you decided to put your blog and your "face" in a story and in dialogues that you thought so bad of, since apparently the only thing that you appreciated the comic were the drawings. Maybe you could create your own comic and think about the interactions between the characters, the story and the dialogues, and translate them into English as it is a far less demanding work than translating into your language.

From this point of view, I understand why you always want to boast about how much effort you make in translations, literally using every possible excuse to reiterate how hard and draining your work is. But then I wonder: if for you to translate from English TO YOUR MOTHER LANGUAGE is so hard, so demanding, then what Aoi should say, as she translates every day from our mother tongue (which I remind you, it's Italian. Maybe it was clear with me but not with her) to English and vice versa, if her work requires to? Iâm sure that you too know that translating from English to your own language is not as difficult as doing the opposite, given that you proclaim yourselves to be certified and expert translators and you, Vega, also defined yourself as a writer, as if this title could authorize you to say all the balderdash that left your keyboard. Aoi has been doing this every day for more than two years, but I don't remember ever having seen her making noise for what she has chosen to do, not even when many people ignored (deliberately or not) her role as author in the comics and she would have all the right to point out that she was the mind behind those stories that everyone liked so much. For this, I cannot help but applaud the despicable courage with which you have diminished Aoi's work, who is a translator like you and even more than you, besides being so many other things that you aren't, and laugh at how you have mortified her while you were doing your master work by basing yourself on a translation that came well before you. Therefore, maintaining the scale of judgment with which you have always judged her contribution to comics: if you want to rate Aoi's work as zero, go ahead. But at this point, following your reasoning, I ask you: how should your work be defined? With a negative number? Or even better, with an imaginary number?

In conclusion, I regret that many people believed in Vega's version, full of holes and inconsistencies, without even ascertaining the veracity of what they were being offered. To believe in facts without evidence to support them is a very serious act, which sets out a very dangerous trend to this day. Dangerous for these people, and also for who / what is found in the crosshairs of such lies.

And speaking of these people, I would like to use this post to respond to some brilliant comments that I found myself reading under Vega's propaganda, released by people who arrived like flies that, attracted by the trash, got themselves gathered around it to feast festively, though mostly, I will do nothing but reiterate old concepts. I will not mention names, because there is no need; in any case, those who are curious can go to read through the comments of the post of which I attached the link above, although I don't recommend doing it to those who are particularly weak stomach.

When you accuse Aoimotion of having had, and still have, a very strong influence on me, there is one thing you're right about: if it was not for her, I would have stopped having any contact with the Zootopia fandom already two years ago. Probably my interest would be exhausted within a couple of comics, or even stripes, given the general attention that I can have in fandom, especially if it's fandom related to films and therefore self-contained stories. But then I met her, who overwhelmed me with her imagination, her enthusiasm and above all her pure and unconditional love for the narration, which pushed me to continue. To make a lot more comics than I had expected, to draw a lot more pictures of Nick and Judy than I would have done alone. 90% of what I have produced, and for which you have idolized me (and given the situation in which I'm now, I wonder how sincere these flattery were), exists because she was with me, by my side, close to every process of creation and always ready to advise me, encourage me and help me. So, when you accuse Aoimotion of having forced me to leave the fandom, you should instead thank her, for holding me into it a lot, so much more than I could have predicted.

When you accuse my style of drawing to be "Zootopian", know that first of all this is just a neologism devoid of any meaning, given that Zootopia itself is a Disney-style film and that then brings the style of his factory. And that just because dozens of artists have thrown into the cauldron called "Zootopia" any anthropomorphic animal their pen has created, doesn't mean that the same applies to me. In any case, know that my style is evolving and will evolve again and again, until finally this latest silly accusation will fall into the pit of the "absurd accusations" that are offered to us every day by this fandom.

When you accuse us of wanting to "steal Jack Savage from Disney", when you even use your time to create meme and "fun" comic of dubious taste, of which only the authors, the stupids and their little friends can laugh, hold on to mind that Jack Savage has always been, and always will be, nothing but a sketch on an artbook with a few lines of background, and that all we have built on him is OURS, including much of his physical appearance (which, like everything that is in this fandom, has soon become a collective good, like it happens in the best communist societies). And that we have the right and the duty to take it back, while you have neither of those to come and tell us something. If, as you think according to the legal knowledge of which you are definitely in possession, what we have in mind to do (which, incidentally, has not yet been disclosed to anyone, then as well as experienced lawyers, you're also skilled Espers able to read our minds; if I had your powers, now I would fight in the biggest tribunals of the world, not brawling from behind a keyboard) is wrong, we will pay the consequences; but if what we are doing is simply a nuisance to you, and it stings you as if you were thrown into a bush of nettles, I'm sorry to say that it is not our problem. Maybe you need to take a break from the internet, as I suggested to Vega and Landsec, to review your priorities and give a little more value of your time. Or you could "give yourself to horse racing", as we say in our parts.

Among other things, while we can afford to take away from Jack any connotation in common with his concept and have our fanbase almost unchanged, if anyone else tried to do the same would find himself in a second to swim in anonymity. I invite you to ask yourself why, and if you can, even to give you an answer. It would be sufficient to explain a few of our apparently incomprehensible reasons, and even the reasons for those whose main purpose in recent months seems to have been to discourage and mock us.

The Jack’s question is very well connected with another theme that we considered closed for months, but that obviously still doesn't really go down to some of you: the alleged plot against our readers, hatched by Aoi and me, which established to introduce our OCs in Black Jack, in order to impose them on you and force you to appreciate them and follow their vicissitudes.

We have always considered this accusation extremely funny (it’s a pity that the harassment we suffered because of it were not) and all in all, putting ourselves in the shoes of the average fan and reasoning (indeed, refusing to reason) as such, the thing could also make sense. So we let it go. This only until the moment we published Black Jack.

Once this comic ended (and even a few months before it ended), we reiterated several times that we would never treat Zootopia again. Of course, you understand that we couldn't write "WE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT NICK AND JUDY !!" at the end of each post or as a watermark on the pages of the new comic, otherwise some brilliant mind would have told us that we were paranoid and unpleasant. So, at a certain point, we stopped coming back to the subject.

At this point, as far as I'm concerned, anyone who has continued to follow us after Black Jack, has done so of his own free will. Perhaps it's hard to publicly admit that you find an interesting story that does not have Nick, Judy or the "Zootopia" tag inside; It’s easier not to express yourself, to avoid the risk that some friend, fervent supporter of the fandom (because now there are no longer supporters of the movie but of the fandom), can stone you on the spot. In this way, you have at any moment the possibility of turning silence-assent into fierce indignation, pulling out the fable that someone is manipulating you to force you to follow something you don’t like and don’t care about. I'm sorry if you felt obliged to follow us by some dark force that you could not fight back, it was absolutely not our intention. We have never been interested in gathering as much support as possible (if we wanted to do it, we would certainly emulate some eminent fandom figure who knows how to keep fans tight), what we always wanted is to express ourselves artistically in absolute freedom, and be judged without any "fandomistic" prejudice .

Therefore, I will reiterate it once again:

if you have no interest in our current work and/or continue to follow us hoping that one day we'll rekindle the desire to work again on Zootopia;

if you have decided to follow us because this gives you the illusion that we're still feeding the dunghill that this fandom has become;

if you’re bad and evil in the soul and find pleasure in spitting poison on a couple of artists who didn't do anything wrong (because now, honestly, what have we ever done to deserve certain crap? After all we have given you for a year or more, you should just learn to be quiet) ...

If you're one of these things, more than one or all put together, I warmly and DEFINITELY invite you to vanish and never return.

Regardless of everything, I'm here to reiterate that we will go on, while the best these people can get is to fossilize themselves where they are now. We are trying to do something big and original, bigger than a mere sub-project of another work, more original than creating new animals that stand on two legs and exist somewhere in the universe of Zootopia (without nothing to take away from those who do it, we simply have different ideas and different objectives). And you know, partly we have already succeeded, and I feel once again to thank Aoi about this, thanks to her characterization and her stories wich allows us to give our OCs peculiarity, to distinguish them from the crowd even if some people try always to imitate the character design of others artists. The more time passes, the more people from the fandom stop following us; but for each of them that leaves, two new readers follow us, people who often have nothing to do with Zootopia and its fandom. And if this is not a victory, I don’t know what it is.

Summing up, I would say that perhaps, rather than feeling angry at certain people, the most appropriate feeling here is compassion. But for respect of ourselves, it's right that even the most miserable and vile of individuals will learn what their place is; for how much compassion I can feel for them, I’ll never transact ever before a villainous gesture. Unfortunately, the more falsehoods are propitiated and stacked, the more the truth will be evident and lethal later. The more you are liars, the more you will be hurt when someone puts you in front of the reality of the facts, exposing your slanders for what they really are: snake venom. For this reason, from now on I strongly advise you to dose more carefully your nonsense, in order to avoid having to hide like rats the moment the truth will surface. This is the last thing I will tell you because, after this refreshing parenthesis, I hope I will never again have to deal with any of you, anywhere in the internet.

And if it were to happen, however, I beg you this time to call things by their real name; to strike directly and clearly who you REALLY want to hit, without first making a shield of people who have nothing to do with the problems you may have with someone. In any case, we will be ready to respond, using the most effective weapon in our possession, the truth; Therefore, I sincerely dissuade you from doing so.

#communication

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cindylouwho-2 · 5 years

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TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Google core algorithm update started March 12; early winners & losers here and here, among other info about the update.

Also, Google accidentally de-indexed some pages last week, & they are still working on fixing it.

Etsy phone support finally available to everyone (if you speak English, of course).

Amazon no longer requires Marketplace sellers to keep their prices elsewhere the same or higher as on Amazon.

Worldpay, one of Etsy’s payment providers, sold to FIS for $35 billion. (Etsy also uses Ayden for some of their payment processing.)

TOP ETSY NEWS

Last week, Etsy sent emails to non-US sellers, telling them that their refunds for the overcharging that has been going on since October 2018 will be issued by the end of the day, June 30th (or earlier). It doesn’t mention when they will stop overcharging, though.

Etsy held Investor Day on March . You can view the slides that went along with the presentations, and there is a short summary of the search info discussed here. CEO Josh Silverman then did an interview with CNBC (video only), which is summarized here.

There was an Etsy podcast on search questions (links to recording, and transcription), but it didn’t have any new info.

They’ve also released their spring & summer trends report, with a podcast & transcript, as well as a lengthy pdf file with keyword data (I will be summarizing that separately).

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Rand Fishkin (founder of Moz) is doing a series of 10-minute Whiteboard Friday presentations on learning SEO basics, with both video & transcripts included in the links. Remember, some of these things do not apply to Etsy shops, but can apply to your website, depending on the coding.

Part 1, SEO strategy; It assumes some knowledge of marketing terms, but the SEO part is definitely intro-level

Part 2, keyword research. Long tail: “20% of all searches that Google receives each day they have never seen before.”

Part 3: satisfy searcher needs.

Part 4: optimizing through keywords & other elements.

And Moz’s Beginners Guide to SEO is finally fully updated. (Some parts are more technical, so stick to the on-page stuff if you are really new to this.)

Chrome now offering the ability to select privacy-focused search engine DuckDuckGo as your browser default. This should increase DDG’s slice of traffic if Google continues this.

Google released its Webspam report for 2018.

Hmm, wonder why I would come across SEO tips for Tumblr this edition? 🤔

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA

(includes blogging & emails)

19 call-to-action phrases you should be using on social media (infographic)

10 tips for more clicks on your social media posts

US social media expansion has plateaued, but podcasts’ popularity continues to grow. 23% of US homes have a “smart speaker” (Alexa etc.); 56% have a tablet. Smartphone ownership has also levelled off.

Related - most Americans dislike/do not trust social media.

3 tips for great social media content (infographic), & 4 more tips for writing social media posts.

Email marketing stats that show its impact. If you don’t already have an email list, it is time to start one. After all these years, it still works!

Instagram beta-testing checkout within the app; US brands only for the moment.

Facebook was storing your passwords in plain text & many employees had access. “My Facebook insider said access logs showed some 2,000 engineers or developers made approximately nine million internal queries for data elements that contained plain text user passwords.”

Did you know you can remove your last name from your public Facebook profile? (Plus 12 other Facebook facts & tricks)

Create great pins on Pinterest.

Pinterest files for IPO; admits that Google changes last year hurt it.

Backgrounder on short video sharing site TikTok.

Twitter Analytics has an events page that tips you off to annual events you may want to tweet about/around, under the Events tab in your Analytics.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Beginners’ guide to cost per click (CPC) ads - includes Google, Facebook, & Instagram.

Facebook & Instagram ad costs have rocketed since the site-wide outages on March 13.

Facebook’s advice on optimizing your Facebook ads.

Google fined by EU for blocking other ads.

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

Ecommerce reports in Google Analytics (for websites, not Etsy shops).

5 Instagram analytics tips.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

Microsoft considers competing with Shopify.

eBay states it uses artificial intelligence (AI) pretty much everywhere on its site, as do most big sites.

eBay adds Google Pay as a payment option.

Half of US households will belong to Amazon Prime this year. “Amazon Household, a program that allows different members of a single household, including teens, to have their own log-in for shopping and viewing of Prime content, was specifically cited by eMarketer as a factor driving adoption.”

Shopify is ending its MailChimp integration; interesting article here. “Mailchimp wrote a blog post stating that it asked Shopify to remove the Mailchimp integration from the Shopify marketplace. Mailchimp’s reasoning behind the move was due to the new term requiring partners to send back any data collected “on behalf of the merchant” back to Shopify. According to Joni Deus, director of partnerships at Mailchimp, that data (in Mailchimp’s eyes) doesn’t belong to Shopify.”

This is seen as a battle for data, a lot of which flows through APIs (APIs are how third party tools integrate with websites, like Etsy & label providers such as Shippo & Pirate Ship).

Square improves a bunch of ecommerce tools including social media integrations. They bought Weebly a year ago, & are using that to make changes to Square Online Store and Square for Retail.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

Tone is key to good customer service. I like the bit about answering apparently stupid questions - making the customer feel stupid (even if 99% of readers would agree the question was stupid) is usually not a good approach. But it can be hard to weed out negative tone. Other good quotes: “Directing the conversation away from the negative aspects and focusing instead on the proposed solution helps customers accept the situation and reduces the odds that they will be upset.” and “It almost doesn’t matter how good the news is; if it comes after “actually,” I feel like I was somehow wrong about something.”

Figuring out what motivates your customers.

Ecommerce customer service 101.

MISCELLANEOUS (INCLUDING HUMOUR)

Facial recognition software is scraping the photos you post online to improve their software. “Despite IBM’s assurances that Flickr users can opt out of the database, NBC News discovered that it’s almost impossible to get photos removed. … There may, however, be legal recourse in some jurisdictions thanks to the rise of privacy laws acknowledging the unique value of photos of people’s faces. Under Europe’s General Data Protection Regulation, photos are considered “sensitive personal information” if they are used to confirm an individual’s identity. Residents of Europe who don’t want their data included can ask IBM to delete it. If IBM doesn’t comply, they can complain to their country’s data protection authority, which, if the particular photos fall under the definition of “sensitive personal information,” can levy fines against companies that violate the law.

In the U.S., some states have laws that could be relevant. Under the Illinois Biometric Information Privacy Act, for example, it can be a violation to capture, store and share biometric information without a person’s written consent. According to the act, biometric information includes fingerprints, iris scans and face geometry.”

Cookie warnings are getting really complicated in some jurisdictions.

Microsoft killed Clippy again.

American drunk shopping continues to increase.

Posted April 8, 2019.

#seo #search engine optimization #etsynews #analytics #stats #social media #contentmarketing #ecommerce #smallbiz #CindyLouWho2NewsUpdates

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jenniferisacommonname · 3 years

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Voiceactors in my Head

One of my many contradictory feature sets is a silent, circumventing stubbornness paired with a pathological fear of confrontation. I will get what I want, and I will not stand my ground if verbally pressed on it. I concede points like it’s an Olympic sport. But as long as everyone's still smiling—gently, snidely, or otherwise—then I can go on forever. Case in point, I once trolled a stranger on the internet for over a year. (Don’t worry; by the end of the story you’ll be on my side again. And if you’re not, well, I mostly agree with you.)

It all started with a CD which was, at the time, exclusively available through the record label’s website. This was back in 2005, when online retailers still ran on frontier justice and only fools uttered the words “free shipping.” Needless to say, I did not have an existing account.

But we do what we must. So I bent the knee, and delivered my modern-day rogation of name, email, and PII governed by the Sarbanes-Oxley Act in order to receive my one CD—then I defiantly wasted that effort by never patronizing their establishment again. I mean, the album was fine, and I’m sure they had other struggling artists whose work I would have enjoyed, but apparently I’m against creative expression and the American small business owner or something.

Anyway, five years of blissful non-interaction go by. Then one day in 2010, I get a mass email from the founder of this little indie record label. It was—or at least it aspired to be—a classic “starting a new chapter” kind of announcement, letting everyone know that he had sold his (incredibly!) successful company, and was using the proceeds to start a charity that would bring music lessons to inner city children.

And, hey, I thought, that’s cool. Music is great for kids. Except… the tone of the email was weird. It was more than just casual; it was chummy. The concept of a YouTuber didn’t exist back then, but here was its primordial ancestor, testing the beachhead with its nascent flipper-legs of peppy chic.

“Yo, J-dawg, how's it hanging? Remember back in [mail-merged year] when you bought [whatever]? What a great album, am I right?! Anyway, it's been so long since we rapped, I thought I'd update you on my sitch…”

Obviously, I’m paraphrasing, but that’s how the voiceactor in my head performed it. And it just rubbed me so hard the wrong way. I mean, look, I get it—we live in a promotional society, and there's no avoiding that. I’ve done my fair share of book pimping, and if you have a legitimate fan base the intrusion can even be a welcome one. So, fine. Tell me about your thing—once—and maybe I'll buy it. But don't act like we're friends, like I have some kind of obligation to you beyond this basic consumer relationship that we've established.

So my gut reaction was a hard pass, pleading children’s eyes be damned. But the email didn’t include a link to unsubscribe. This spammer was so brazen, he had sent the message from his personal email account, as if threats like “more updates to come!” belonged in anything but a ransom note font. If I wanted my name off the list, I would have to actually write him back, creating exactly the kind of low-stakes, one-on-one confrontation that we all know is worse than torture.

How would I even phrase it, knowing that his overture was from the heart and my rejection would travel right back along that path? “Listen, amigo, I know you probably spent an hour composing this raw, honest self-reflection on your priorities, but it’s garbage, and I never want to hear from you again. Please keep in mind that while you have failed to inspire me, you’ve also failed the children. Because you’re a failure.”

The actual words wouldn’t matter; I was sure that’s what he’d hear. In fact, I would argue that a polite rejection is often worse, because it leaves no option for the rejectee to write off the loss as a dodged bullet. They really were a nice person, and you’ll probably never find anyone so humble again, you loser.

So instead, I got out my favorite piece of social armor: the ironic “yes, and.” In improv theater, if a scene partner implies that you’re the best of friends, you don’t argue with them. You commit to the bit. So I did.

“Oh my God, Steve, it's so good to hear from you!” I wrote (except I used his real name, of course.) “I can’t believe you still remember our special album. Makes me weepy just thinking about what it meant to us. Anyway, here’s what’s been going on in my life...” Then without warning, I dumped several years’ worth of emotional trauma on him—about severe autism, and how hard day-to-day life was, and how each treatment brought hope and frustration in equal measure while somehow never easing my crippling fear of the future. It was a therapy session on steroids, directed at a stranger under the guise of bitter sarcasm. My flippant sign-off left no doubts about my true feelings: “Anyway, as I’m sure you can imagine, we are flat broke with medical bills, bruh! So I'm gonna need you to take us off your list. But in the meantime, here are some autism charities that you could donate to on our behalf, since we're such good friends.”

To be clear, open snark isn’t remotely in the spirit of “yes, and.” But it felt better in that moment than honest rejection, and I figured he’d take the hint.

Instead, the guy wrote back.

“Wow, what an amazing story!” he said. “Crazy world we live in. I'll go ahead and take you off the list, but I do hope you'll think of us in the future.”

Ugh. He had met my bad behavior with empathy, and I felt moderately ashamed. Then again, you couldn’t argue with results, and at least I knew this ordeal was behind me.

Except he didn't take me off the list. A couple of weeks later, I get another fake-personal email, which I must again paraphrase, though I remember with furious precision the way it made me feel. “Heyyyy Jenn-ster, it's me again! I know how much you've always loved music, so I know you're gonna want to hear about this...”

BITCH. YOU. DON’T. KNOW. ME.

“Steve, what happened?!” I wrote back. “You used to be such a good listener! I think the money's changed you, man.” And I asked once again to be taken off the list.

This time, he ignored me. No reply, and the spam kept coming.

So I just decided that this was going to be our thing. Every time he sent me an email full of stuff I didn't care about, I was going to send him an email full of stuff he didn't care about. Except I kept pushing it a little farther each time, like, “Ooh, potty training's not going so great, let me tell you all about it...” And at the end of every email I'd always remind him, “Hey, anytime you want to stop getting updates on my son's bowel movements, all you have to do is take me off your list.” Sometimes I bolded it; once I super-sized it into a 40-point font. But he never did.

This went on for over a year.

But I won.

It’s a trite saying, but sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. The last email I ever got from this guy was short, which was unusual for him, and it said something like, “Great news! We've just graduated our first class of students—check out these pics!” (Why am I paraphrasing so much, when email is forever and I could just go back and give you direct quotes? Stop asking questions and roll with me for a minute.) Anyway, embedded in the email, like already loaded and filling the screen HTML-style, was this giant picture of… I don’t know, a kid kissing a trumpet or something. It was probably super cute, to be honest—but I was on a mission.

“Great news!” I wrote back, trying as always to mimic the exact structure of whatever he had sent me. “My son just had a colonoscopy—check out these pics!” And I pasted the actual medical photos of my child’s rectal passage into the email, pre-loaded and filling the screen, so he’d be forced to view them against his will, just as I’d been forced to endure his endless marketing crap.

Sure enough, he never emailed me again.

Pretty good story, right? And that closer—I mean how can you top sending medical photos to a complete stranger just to gross them out? Unfortunately (or fortunately; I’ll leave it up to you,) this one has a weirdly philosophical denouement. If you like your narratives sassy and single-layered, I suggest you duck out now.

Around 2015, I was trawling my past for wild stories that could be condensed into a tight three minutes for open mic night, and ‘that time I emailed colonoscopy pics to a spammer’ was an obvious contender. Once I had the basic structure written down, more or less exactly as I remembered it, I went digging through those ancient emails to finalize the details.

And what I found was… not what I remembered. The story I told above clearly had some emotional embellishments (see: paraphrasing), but it was fundamentally true in circumstance, I thought. And, yes, I really did send this guy two pictures of my son’s colonoscopy, though they were just thumbnail attachments, not embedded. But the text of my actual emails to him barely came off as snarky at all, and I never once told him in clear terms to take me off his list. There are a few lame hints at irony that you can pick out if you really squint, but by and large I was just… writing him back. Like we were friends.

Which is a good thing, because his emails to me were even less accurate in my memory than mine had been. He hadn’t cut me off; he’d replied to every single email I’d sent, in a way that made it clear that he’d watched every video and read every article. He was cordial, empathetic, and seemed genuinely interested in my kids. It was a therapy session on steroids, all right—minus the steroids.

BITCH.

YOU. KNOW. ME.

And in return for all this kindness, I had sent him horrific medical photos for no reason. To which he had replied (and this time I’m not paraphrasing,) “Thanks for the update on your son. I appreciate it. Keep up the good work. All the best to you both.” The updates from him had indeed ceased after that, but from what I can tell it was just a coincidental winding down of that particular enterprise, not a removal of my name from any specific list.

Eventually, I ended up emailing him again, this time as a penitential mea culpa to ease my own conscience. I explained the situation, and apologized for my unfair judgment of years past, plus of course the unsolicited sigmoid landscapes. He thought the whole thing was hilarious, and admitted that he’d never once picked up on my poorly-conveyed bitterness.

More important than the personal amends, though, was the lesson I had to swallow about how emotions don’t just cloud memories—sometimes they invent them out of whole cloth. I swear, I swear I remember a photo of a kid graduating from his charitable music lessons, but I can find absolutely no evidence of it anywhere. My brain made it up to retroactively justify my behavior: yes, I sent a photo, but only because he sent a photo first. It’s not even a remotely good justification, but I guess it took the edge off just enough to keep seeing myself as a good person.

It was an important lesson professionally, too. History is nothing but a mashup of inherently self-serving memories, and multiple perspectives can only draw a narrative closer to objective truth by half-steps, never to fully reach its destination. Even hard evidence is fallible, because my emails as written did not accurately represent how I felt when I wrote them, which is an important part of the story in its own way. Misinterpretations and flawed perspectives are inevitable, but they’re also necessary, and stripping them out as a historian is just as wrong as taking them at face value. A story is both what the participants think it is, and what we know it isn’t—especially when those two conflict—and every non-fiction piece I write is just somebody else’s therapy session on steroids.

#spam #spammers #autism #troll #colonoscopy #medical photo #stand up #open mic #music #album #online retail

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billyharris · 7 years

Text

Underneath the Same Sun ☼

Okay so this fic is inspired by the amazing headcanons @t0ziers wrote. And encouraged by a comment on said post by @richietoaster. Honestly I fell in love with the idea of a long distance Reddie AU and knew I had to write it. But I wanted to write it from Richie’s point of view. And some other facts are different. whoops. Also huge shoutout to my name twin, @buttercup-irwin for inspiring me in general to write fics. This is my first official one. Here goes nothing ~

✧ Chapter One ✧ Chapter Two ✧ Chapter Three

Words ;; 1,824 ･ﾟ Pairing ;; Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak & some hints of Stan Uris / Bill Denbrough (It) ･ﾟ Warnings ;; Strong language, Talk of penises, 18 y/o boys kissing (omg) ･ﾟ

❝ — Richie Tozier knew he wasn’t internet famous. In the grand scheme of things, his shitty meme blog and dead vine account were nothing compared to all the models on Instagram paid to post pictures of their abs. But damn, 4,000 followers and some change was nothing to sneeze at in Tumblr terms. And he did it all without posting porn. His best friend, Stan, might not understand just how big of a deal that it is, but his followers knew he was top tier. If you weren’t following ‘trxshmouth’ - you were causing yourself a disservice.

Out of all those 4,000 followers Richie had, he almost never spoke to any of them. He had mutuals that would sometimes tag him in their posts or follow forevers. But no one really, honestly knew the man behind the memes. That was until ‘pastelgazebo’ followed him.

As soon as the notification on his phone popped up, Richie had to stop what he was doing and open the link. The boy literally stopped walking to quickly scroll through the soft pink aesthetic filled page, his mouth plastered with a wide grin the whole time.

“Earth to Richie…We’re going to be late to class…RICHIE?!” Stan was rolling his eyes now - a usual occurrence when your best friend is Richie - vape naesh - tozier. Stan waved his hand in front of Richie, but the boy just kept typing on his phone, not looking up for a second.

“Celebrity stuff, Stanley, you wouldn’t understand.” Richie finally lifted his head taking the time to push in his pop socket of the dancing snapchat hotdog and shove the phone into his back pocket, before beginning to walk again.

“You’re not famous, Richie. I have a blog - So does Bill. We all do. You’re no different.”

“Wow okay - your blog is all pictures of birds. Literally no one cares about birds except for you. You can’t possibly compare my blogging experience to just you sitting on your bed looking at pictures on the internet. It’s not even on the same level and fairly i’m concerned that you would ever think you compare to me.” A ding goes off in Rich’s pocket, and the boy slapped his ass before pulling the phone from it and transfixing his gaze on the screen once again.

“You forget, Richard. I’m the one with boyfriend now, and you are the one stuck having to look at pictures on the - Are you even listening to me insulting you ?? No you’re not - Of course” And the eye rolls were back.

“Haha yeah - you and Bill make out all the time and all I do is watch porn - ha ha very funny Stan the man - but not for fucking long !! ‘Cause this trashmouth might’ve just found the love of his life !!” Richie was talking like a schoolgirl raving about JTT. He was making no sense at all. And then he was shoving his phone into Stan’s face.

The blog was ‘Pastelgazebo’ An organized studyblr with the description written in bright pink font. ‘Eddie ✧ 18 ✧ pre-med at NYU ✧ Bev made me do this.’ The icon was not of the boy’s face. Instead of a bunch of lilacs scattered around a cup of tea. The most recent post was a public answer from none other than trashmouth himself. In all caps the question read ‘SO DO YOU LIKE MEMES?’ with a simple ‘uh yeah’ answer from the other blog. “Wow yeah - you two are a real modern day Romeo and Juliet” Now Stan was sure he should start charging his roommate for all these eye rolls.

❝ — It’s been two months since Richie and Eddie became mutuals. Sixty days since the boys began to talk every day through tumblr messenger. Giving Stan the Man a run for his money when it came to Richie’s coveted best friend slot. A spot that Stan has said many times he did not sign up for and would very much appreciate someone taking. He was everything Richie wasn’t. Clean, organized, short. But he was sassy and not afraid to call Richie out on his shit. Richard Tozier was in love. It was real. He wanted to marry this kid. It was really fucking unfair that all Richie could do was text Eddie when Stan was across the dorm just first basing his boyfriend right in front of his glass covered eyes. Rubbing salt into the hormone filled wound of Richie’s.

↪ trxshmouth - They’re doing it again

↪ pastelgazebo - Leave your roommate alone. He’s allowed to kiss his boyfriend if he wants to.

↪ pastelgazebo - Shouldn’t you be studying ?? I know I am.

↪ trxshmouth - The least they could do is invite me to join. It’s only fair after being forced to listen to Bill stutter his way through dirty talk

↪ pastelgazebo - BEEP BEEP RICHIE!

↪ trxshmouth - I regret telling you about that every fucking day

❝ — Three months now. Three whole months of friendship all built on an ask about memes. Richie now knew that Eddie accidentally followed Richie instead of exiting his blog. And although it sort of hurt - he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that only Eddie Kaspbrak would meet his best friend by accident.

Richie was officially calling Eddie his best friend now. Stan lost that privilege when Rich had to wake up to a nearly naked Bill trying to sneak out of his dorm at five in the morning. Honestly the audacity !! Like, really ?! The Uris/Tozier residence was a place of fucking high class. He gave the culprit the stink eye to let him know that he saw everything. ( and damn he meant everything - those boxer briefs were not leaving anything to the imagination. No wonder Stan is keeping him still. ) All Billy could do was giggle as he pulled up his jeans and darted for the door. From then on Richie only referred to his roommate’s boyfriend as ‘Big Bill’ and Stan knew right away where the name came from and - oh boy, he was not happy about everyone knowing about his private life. He didn’t seem to care about privacy before ; when he was letting his boyfriend walk around their dorm dong practically out.

So now Eddie was Richie’s official best friend. But Richie was lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he wanted so much more from the east coast boy. The two had finally exchanged Skypes and tonight was going to be the first time Richie would be able to hear Eddie’s voice - see Eddie’s face that wasn’t in a blurry snapchat with a filter. The trashmouth was actually freaking out. The whole day he was shaking and his ADHD was off the charts. He’s wanted this for three fucking months. And it’s finally here. The skype ring blared through the UCLA dorm and Rich was sure it sounded like the wedding march for a second. He answered the call and had to hold back from gasping. “Wow Eds, you’re really cute.”

The boy was in a pale yellow polo, cross legged on his dorm bed. His cheeks flared as red as his short shorts. Oh did Richie not mention his short shorts ?? Because wow this boy was not afraid of showing some leg. “Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself - Oh and don’t call me that.” Richie couldn’t help but laugh at how easily embarrassed Eddie got. He deserved every compliment in the world.

They spoke for hours about classes and their lives before college. Turns out both were from different towns in Maine. They were so close before - and it took Richie moving all the way out to California for them to be driven together. It really was a small world. Eddie opened up about his mother and how she was driving him crazy now that he wasn’t living at home. Mrs K. makes Eddie get tested like every other week - making sure he wasn’t being slowly killed by the filth of New York. Richie shared that his parents haven’t called him since he moved out. And how when December break comes up, he was probably going to stay with Stan’s family in San Diego. Eddie had this destroyed look on his face when Richie talked about his home. He looked crushed on the other boy’s behalf. And all the freshman wanted to do was jump through the screen, hug Eddie and never let go.

❝ — Four fucking months had gone by since Richie made contact with the love of his life. They skype nearly every night. They know everything there is to know about one another. ( Okay. So Eddie didn’t know Richie smoked. But the boy was willing to cross that bridge when they got to it ) It didn’t matter that a whole country was separating them. When the two spoke - it was as if they were in each other’s laps.

Except Eddie wasn’t sitting in Richie’s lap. He wasn’t running his thin fingers through the boy’s curls and telling him that there was no where else he would rather be than right there. All of that was in Richie’s dreams. He was too afraid to make a move and actually ask Eds out. Stan, Bill, Bev, even Eddie’s roommates Mike and Ben have started to get on the pair for how flirty they were.

Richie was doodling in his notebook as Eddie was telling a story about how his psych professor misspelled professor on the first day of the semester and now no one can take him seriously. Eddie’s voice was like music to Richie’s ears. It inspired him to be better. It made his crazy nerves calm for once. It was like nothing else existed when he spoke. The brunette looked up to his mac and couldn’t help himself but to mutter. “I really wish we could date.” A second went by before Richie heard what he had actually said out loud. He covered his mouth and turned bright red.

Eddie was matching in blush to the cross country boy. He chuckled for a moment and asked “Richie will you be my boyfriend?” And now Richie was covering his whole face because holy fuck, was this real ?? Did his actual dream boy really ask him out. And he said it so calmly. Richie thought he was going to be sick. He could feel his stomach churning. Then it occurred to him that he actually hadn’t answered the boy yet. He’d been waiting for this day for four fucking months and for the first time ever - Richie trashmouth Tozier was speechless. His mind was racing and to stop himself from breaking down and crying there and then, he revealed his flushed face to the webcam, with the dumbest smirk on his features.

“Sure, Eds - but only if you answer this question - Do you like memes ??”

Note ;; This is like half of the headcanons. So let me know if I should write chapter two !

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #reddie au #reddie fic #[ F ]

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ohstardust · 6 years

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It Feels Like Time's On Our Side

REQUEST: from @lowdenglynnstyles i was hoping you could write something about the reader being a young detective, a job that i would like to have, dating jack?? x A/N: I can’t believe I promised this to you back in September when I was sat at Birmingham New Street station before uni started up and when I still had time/a life. I’m sorry it took me so long my angel, but I hope this is okay for you. And this definitely would not have been written if it wasn’t for @wardley10 who wrote about 85% of the plot for me (a long time ago), all I did was write the fic. I can’t thank you enough for that babe <3 I hope there aren’t too many inaccuracies with this. Title: Years & Years by Olly Murs My Jack playlist can be found on Spotify (x)

Jack’s hands were sweating by the time he checked his watch for the seventh time in as many minutes. It was four thirty-seven in the afternoon, twenty-three minutes until the press conference would air live on television and the Scot was not only unbearably nervous on behalf of his girlfriend for chairing said conference, but he was overcome with sickness that he would potentially miss it despite his reassurance that he would watch it. He’d specifically picked this train to be home on time, after being away from her for four weeks on a small shoot, all he wanted was to surprise her today and to be there when she came home. To be her stress reliever and tell her how proud he was of her, not be a tinny voice at the end of a phone or be a pixelated version of himself on a small screen. But as luck would have it, just as the train had pulled out of the second station on the journey, an announcement was made to inform passengers that part of a tree had very inconveniently caused an obstruction on the track his train was headed down. If Jack wasn’t so anxious, and a little pissed off, he’d have laughed at his lack of luck upon noticing his mobile internet was also down and he’d be unable to catch the conference live on his phone.

There was no way he’d let her down without a fight. Simply put, Y/N was Jack's soulmate. The person he loved most and who loved him as deeply in return. The person who had a heart full of compassion, a deep sense of justice to do the right thing. The person who felt a sense of hatred at the evil in the world and couldn’t fathom why the simplest concept of everyone just loving one another seemed to be such an impossibility. Jack had fallen in love with this compassionate side to his partner. Her dedication and sense of duty to society went some way to explain why she was one of the youngest detective inspectors in the Met Police history. Jack had never felt such elation or pride as he did when she had been awarded that position and title. Everything she’d worked so hard for, in just a few short years, had paid off and he couldn’t believe they were both striving in their careers before they’d even reached thirty. Perhaps in that instance fate had been on their side. He’d tell her a dozen more times this evening how proud he was of her, if he ever got off this damn train that is. As Jack watched the countryside whir past his eyes, dazzling blue skies fusing with a blur of freshly cut grass on the sunlit summer afternoon, his phone notified him of an incoming text message and he snatched it off the seat beside him. Y/N. Y/N: Jack, I’m so nervous I think I’m going to be sick. Y/N: I can’t believe this is being aired on telly. Y/N: I know you’re probably busy finishing off up North, but if you get chance can you please watch? It’d calm me knowing you were watching even if I can’t see you. Y/N: Sounds silly I know but you know me xxx Jack: Sweetheart, you’ll be wonderful. Just stay in your zone, concentrate on your lines and you’ll be fine. You know this case inside out, no one is in a better position to do this than you. I love you hen, of course I’ll be watching xxx As the train slowed to a stop at his station, Jack jumped out of his seat and hastily collected his belongings off the seat beside him. He pulled his suitcase from the rack before speeding off the train and onto the platform. Another glance at his watch told him it was four fifty-nine. The blonde wasn’t overly sure what his plan was from here on out, he was winging it but he hoped for a working TV screen or at least some decent internet signal. He wasn’t selective at this point, anything would suffice as long as he caught the broadcast. Trusty old fate seemed to have cast a light on Jack for a brief, fond moment as he glanced into the waiting room he’d stopped himself in front of. The blaring lights of the television played a mindless game show that, at any other point he’d likely have sat on the sofa and heatedly competed against himself during, however he didn’t have the time nor the inclination to pay it any attention. He shuffled through the door with his belongings and fumbled around for buttons on the back of the screen, hoping against all odds that he’d be able to navigate it to the correct channel, desperate for BBC News to be available. As the image sprung to life, he pounded on the volume buttons to make it a few notches louder and his face twisted into a beaming smile as he caught sight of his girl. Oh how he’d missed her. Y/N looked divinely smart and professional behind the overwhelmingly large desk beside her colleagues, as cameras flashed and she calmly divided her attention between the press and her statement papers. He relished how composed she appeared despite her mini meltdown via text message mere minutes earlier. She had remained thoroughly professional throughout the entire case, only divulging the odd detail she knew she could spare to her partner, and Jack knew better than to try and wangle some more out of her. It was admirable. But now the details were becoming public and he looked forward to hearing her enthusiastically talk about the ins and outs of the case and how her and her team were able to capture, and arrest, a gang of jewel thieves operating in Islington over the past few months. “- six men have been arrested and charged on the account of eight robberies in the Farringdon area between January and June of this year. We believe the men to committed previous thefts due to the professionalism executed throughout the past six months, however myself and our specialist team were able to garner DNA matches as a result of minor traces the offenders began to leave upon their three previous crime scenes.” Jack’s breath was caught in his chest and he was on edge as he immersed himself in her words. “- we have successfully recovered some of the stolen items and these have rightfully been reunited with their owners. On behalf of the Metropolitan Police, I would like to thank the public for their assistance with this case and their ongoing support.” He watched her gather her papers before her and her colleagues stood from their positions and the broadcast ended. His eyes remained glued to the television screen for a few moments more in admiration, he was so incredibly proud of her. “I’m so glad you’re home.” She grinned, swigging her beer with one hand and her other grasping Jack’s tightly for fear of letting him go again. “Me too, missed you.” He wrapped an arm around his girlfriend’s waist and pulled her closer to his chest, her body situated between his legs on the loveseat in a moderately filled beer garden. The sun was fading into the early evening air and the strings of fairy lights were twinkling. “I missed you too, the flat feels even emptier when you’ve not been round for a while.” Y/N let her head rest back against Jack’s chest and his lips nipped at her shoulder. “You should just move into mine, less empty with all of our stuff there.” Y/N stopped tracing her fingers along his arm for a minute or so, sat still not quite sure if she’d heard him correctly, or misunderstood his meaning. “Was that too much?” Jack internally panicked. It’s not that he’d just blurted it out of nowhere, well he had but he’d been thinking of asking her for some time, it seemed natural. But he hadn’t wanted to ask her that way, he didn’t want it to be a solution to a mere problem, he wanted to be honest about how much he wanted to live with her, share a bathroom, a bed, a life. To see her in their kitchen when he cooked her breakfast, or putting away their groceries, or lying on their sofa watching a film and not having to worry about her leaving early to get a good night’s sleep in her own bed before work. Her head shifted and caught her lip between her teeth as she looked up at him, “Were you serious?” He licked his lips nervously before smiling down at her, “Yeah, if you want to I mean. I don’t want to pressure you or anything, I just thought –“ Y/N cut him off as her lips met his and she grinned oh so widely, palm pressed to his cheek as she nodded, “that’s a yes, an enormous yes.” “Today has gone from absolutely dire to ‘I’m so proud I’m going to explode’ to ‘I’m the happiest man alive’.” Y/N rolled her eyes with a fond smile, “You’re terribly lame, Jack.” “Looks like you’re gonna be stuck with me a quite a while now, hen.” Her arms looped his neck and her forehead pressed against his, “Mmm, guess it’s worth it.” Instead of replying, Jack kissed Y/N in celebration or pride, love and everything in between.

#jack lowden #jack lowden writing #jack lowden x reader #jack lowden imagine #Dunkirk (2017)#Dunkirk fic #dunkirk cast #dunkirk imagines #dunkirk imagine

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flippinoptimist · 6 years

Text

> Vel : Meet a nerdlord

Today at 2:45 AM

deputyheadmistress Alright, someone talking to you on my behalf about a lack of privacy got to me a bit. But I'm not upset with you for how the internet behaves.

flippinoptimist thats lurky, theyre a little closer to omniscient than is average for most beings, and like kind of giving advice, and they mean well i think they meant it mostly to make me stop chargin around in like, manic mode, though, even if stuff relatin to you was the causal start of the chain sorry you got dragged into it miss granger, and that i wasn't doin the tact thing

deputyheadmistress I didn't mean them, I meant the thread about different faux book titles. But a close to omniscient being is, I suppose, something I'll also have to get used to. I'm at least a bit used to manic teens, though it's not the best way to get shocking information.

flippinoptimist i think my earth age would technically start with a two, but thats sorta recent after you spend enough time around here you get used to the like, multiverse

deputyheadmistress Can we, perhaps, stop talking about the multiverse for a few moments? And talk about something a bit more grounding, like your particular brand of magic. I'm very curious.

flippinoptimist sure its sorta a fusion of everything ive run across, since the inherent stuff that my ~destiny~ tried to put on me isnt the same kind of stuff as the place where im learnin the inherent is more of a "woo, heres a big abstract concept, you are an incarnation / channeler of a shard of it, neato"

deputyheadmistress That sounds like a lot to dig into, but alright.

flippinoptimist the school part is about how you can structure thought and energy flow into symbols and runes and things i'm focusin on artificing ..and the inherent part has given me a knack for illusions i cant figure out how to actually cast spells but im good at making things!

deputyheadmistress Oh! I was very good at ancient runes during my time at Hogwarts, and while I haven't managed to do much with it since graduation, other than an enchanted bag, I'd be really curious to see what similarities there might be. I wonder if you can cast spells. Logic seems like it'd point to yes, but if you're from somewhere else...

flippinoptimist id be curious about them! i know the words to a few spells but ive never seen them and do naut have a wand of the kind you are thinking of the wands i know about / make each have a specific spell in them, and are locked to create a specific effect that triggers when a gesture or word or w/e happens

deputyheadmistress That's terribly inefficient.

flippinoptimist sure, its Terrible

deputyheadmistress ... Is that referencing those historical people of note who end up being so infamous people associate them with the word 'Terrible' as well?

flippinoptimist naut much different than having a necklace that makes you invisible though yes! it also enables a billion terrible puns

deputyheadmistress I was curious. It's a bit strange to add it yourself, don't you think?

flippinoptimist (ba dum tsh)

deputyheadmistress Oh.

flippinoptimist it is

deputyheadmistress Well, that explains that, doesn't it?

flippinoptimist but my species has this thing, where on adulthood we each replace our kid name with an adult Title

deputyheadmistress Oh, it's a cultural thing.

flippinoptimist yeah, and i chose a human one

deputyheadmistress Alright. I read a little bit on that.

flippinoptimist because humans are neat and i like them

deputyheadmistress Oh! Well, I'm glad you like humans, then.

flippinoptimist and i respect a lot of the cultural things i see in most of the human places i have found

deputyheadmistress Good, I was about to ask that.

flippinoptimist also everything that comes out of japan is amazing

deputyheadmistress I don't know how I could let you use a wand from here, but I want to try.

flippinoptimist id love to try if you can think of a way! i am pretty good at establishing first contact with new universes, and i could get you alien tech and magic to check out if you wanted for various definitions of alien

deputyheadmistress ... Alien tech won't work so well on Hogwart's grounds. I had to heavily modify this computer so it'd function here.

flippinoptimist i am curious about how

flippinoptimist alllsooo.... ill have to find a copy of the magic version of getting around from place to place

deputyheadmistress Oh! I wrote a whole thesis on how to make magic more compatable with muggle text over the summer, let me...

flippinoptimist but i know where to find it! couple of steps and itll work out okay

deputyheadmistress I'll send it to you later. It's a bit lengthy, and I have to type it up here. Alright, I'll hold.

flippinoptimist okay i hate to say this because i am definitely interested in exchangin data and showin things, but it feels rude not to remind you before we get much further that a step of getting this to work is probably going to involve me (random internet stranger) havin to figure out what your coordinates are, so i can write them in the format needed for the circley part i can get you the circle rune pattern either way, but if you want a way to actually use it, id need to basically track your IP but, like, fancy and involving you running a thing on a computer let me know if you want to do that part, but heres the circle diagram

flippinoptimist -- flippinoptimist began sending file : transportationcircle.pdf --

deputyheadmistress I have been warned about random internet strangers.... I may have to work on protection wards for a moment, for the sake of safety.

flippinoptimist sure thing i highly advise not using that w/o fillin in coordinates the way it says, and also not without knowin your home coordinates if you step through that thing, the only way back is to know how to write your home address, you know?

deputyheadmistress Alright

flippinoptimist to find home coordinates, install one a these chat programs, and send me a private message, i can use a couple a tools to trace the connection from there and get your code

deputyheadmistress This is certainly the sort of decision I want to be making at five in the morning. Alright, I've got everything set up. What is life without adventure, and the chance to make the headmistress mad at me.

flippinoptimist lol the decision will still be here at not five in the morning, but you wont be able to blame it on the time then shit i should give you the programs shouldnt i -- Discord, Trollian! --

deputyheadmistress Thank you.

flippinoptimist i have a set of coords i can give you that are explicitely for being a neutral place to meet people, but the sky isnt done yet so its janky lookin but! the building is finished

deputyheadmistress I've chosen a fairly neutral place for the moment, don't worry.

flippinoptimist ok!

deputyheadmistress > Message him on Discord. This will be absolutely fine. Totally.

flippinoptimist > He messages her back! About two minutes later, he gives her the number version of her coordinates, which she can use to get back home from anywhere. He also gives her the coordinates to the convenience store, which he mentions is "a pocket dimension under construction"

deputyheadmistress > She'll... Write that down and probably not do anything with it for a while. > If he tries to look at her coordinates directly, it will really really not work, as if his machine were glitching, but he can probably go a few miles out for a nice view of a scottish country side.

flippinoptimist > Neat! He ..does poke that far, but then sets his machine to go back to looking somewhere else. The coordinates are saved, but he promises to himself to not use them. if somebody gives you coordinates, you can go places, or people w/ yours can send you stuff or come visit

deputyheadmistress Alright. This is going to take a bit of getting used to, but if you want to come over you can.

flippinoptimist > ..man, he was supposed to be in time out, but lately he'd been doing so well ..until today.. and he'd been leaning into choosing the Chaotic choices more and more often... > What good was putting yourself in time out if you didn't stick to it?

flippinoptimist crazy o clock in the mornin probably aint the best time for first impressions, though its temptin as hell. i could send across some small magic gunk and weird alien snacks as a proof of concept, and meet you like, tomorrow or another day soon?

deputyheadmistress That sounds good! I'll send you some magic things too, then.

flippinoptimist sweet! we can compare notes

deputyheadmistress > Time to gather some of George's jokes and some magical candy.

flippinoptimist > He would send an invisibility ring, a few novelty disguises, a small opal that made anyone within line of sight experience a slightly sweet taste (in a well-shielded bag), and a variety of alternian mass-produced snackfoods labled in a clearly alien language. Ones he thought might not creep out humans too bad.

deputyheadmistress > Bertie botts every flavor beans are a necessity, though she does make sure to include a carefully penned note about what flavors he may come across that are less pleasant. Chocolate frogs are included as well, of course. Things that turn skin different interesting colors, fireworks that make flame animals bound through the air.

flippinoptimist > He is going to admire the hell out of and carefully store these for later perusal.

deputyheadmistress > He also gets a somewhat large coinpurse that he can shove his whole arm in and still seem to not run out of room.

flippinoptimist okay this is a pretty neat bag stupid question and no i am not going ot try, what happens when you turn it inside out

deputyheadmistress You could turn it out for a really long time. I think it'd be annoying to stuff it back in though

flippinoptimist okay, what if i went for a swim in the ocean with it is there a limit?

deputyheadmistress Of course there's a limit. But it can hold a tent or two, several thin blankets, changes of clothing, general everyday use things, and of course money. Thin things work better, obviously. You could probably fit thick blankets, but it'd be way more annoying both to put them in and pull them out.

flippinoptimist that makes a lotta sense and is pretty interestin i have a tech way of carrying lots of stuff, but you mentioned tech was sad

deputyheadmistress Oh! I have a print version of the paper I was going to type up.

flippinoptimist ive got an amulet thats basically like a mr potato head that disguises you all the runework lines up so you can unclip parts and clip in different parts

deputyheadmistress > Send that along, also. There's moving pictures involved, with her pictured. Oh wow.

flippinoptimist modular!

deputyheadmistress I don't think describing it as 'Mr Potato Head' is reassuring, for a disguise, but a modular disguise is interesting.

flippinoptimist it only works when everything is seated in firmly and shut, but its also sort of like legos > He .. sends a modular disguise amulet over too, with a couple of bits and pieces it only does disguises for my species, but hey, maybe thatll be handy

deputyheadmistress Maybe.

flippinoptimist pro tip if you are ever going to go to a place with my species, ask them which color of person is best for you to be can of worms subject really

deputyheadmistress That sounds racist as hell.

flippinoptimist oh yeah

deputyheadmistress Joy.

flippinoptimist p much sometides people call the usual empress "fish hitler" most of the dudes i know are huge rebels

deputyheadmistress The magical world just recently got done with a war similar to Hitler's.

flippinoptimist but! there are placeswhere things are fine its just good to check if a place is one of them first

deputyheadmistress So I'm a little sick of that.

flippinoptimist i hang out in like three different places where she got deposed differentamounts of time ago yeah thats aight

deputyheadmistress At least there's that.

flippinoptimist speaking of humans, its great how often its naut like that like, sometimes, but anyway people can be pretty cool when teyre given teh chance

deputyheadmistress I do like to believe in the inherent goodness of people, despite how much bad has happened.

flippinoptimist i think people can choose how theyre gonna be theresa lotta nice reasons to choose not to be a dick

deputyheadmistress I should hope you wouldn't need reasons, but yes there are reasons to be nice.

flippinoptimist sometimes bein mean is tempting, otherwise people wouldnt do it you get all wrapped up in somethin, dont see all of it, then suddenly you get a reality check an gotta go "hey is this where i wanna be" and then people ignore the question because they dont wanna think about it and then its sealed, theyre dicks and theyll stay that way

flippinoptimist till they look around again

deputyheadmistress I suppose.

flippinoptimist i spend a lotta time thinkin about it i was a jerk when i was younger, and i decided to be nice instead so i spend a lot of time talkin to dudes who are or were also jerks and we all get better! cause i can help them find the reasons they need to start

flippinoptimist also jerks are sometimes kinda hilarious, and theyre often pretty good at shit. otherwise theyd have learned better when they ran into a problem they couldnt solve w/o help.

deputyheadmistress It's getting a bit late. I think I should probably turn in for the night, before all of the teenagers wake up and need scowling at.

flippinoptimist that is probably a thing i hope you have a good night miss granger it was nice meetin you

deputyheadmistress It was really interesting talking to you, Vel.

flippinoptimist i try for interestin

deputyheadmistress Do you really need to try?

flippinoptimist not really

deputyheadmistress Have a good night. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

flippinoptimist bye!

#ooc eyes only #deputyheadmistress

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