#the playlist is 27 songs long | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been providing a Korean-language service since 2013.

#the playlist is 27 songs long

blackberryjambaby · 2 years

Text

so my dad has a playlist with songs that would be ok to play at his funeral and i shit you not man or muppet is on there. so is you snuck your way right into my heart from fucking phineas and ferb 😭😭

#rj speaks #i cant believe him #other notable mentions: lumberjack song by monty python. hold my beer by trace adkins. and rock and roll all nite by kiss #this man is crazy #the playlist is 27 songs long

1 note · View note

because-i-love-chess · 2 years

Text

Do you ever listen to a playlist on shuffle just to get to one specific song in the playlist even though you could just click on that song and listen to it but no you have to get to it NATURALLY you have to EARN the privilege of listening to that song

#music #anyone else do this?#at least I moved from a 27 hour long playlist to a 3 hour playlist #much higher chance for the song to appear

2 notes · View notes

thefallennightmare · 6 months

Text

Just Pretend-nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."

With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?

As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.

Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.

"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."

It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.

I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.

Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.

To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.

"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."

Oh, right.

We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.

"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.

He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."

I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.

"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.

"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.

With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"

"It was Chase's idea," he answered.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.

She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.

Care to tell me where we're going?

All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.

You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.

"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.

With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.

"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."

"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.

Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.

Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."

They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.

"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.

Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.

I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.

"Hang on, someone's at the door."

I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."

The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.

"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."

While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"

She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."

Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."

I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.

"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."

I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.

"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.

"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."

Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.

"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..

I waved her off. "Take your time."

"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."

Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."

"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.

She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."

"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."

"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"

"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.

When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.

"Mochi?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."

She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.

"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.

"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.

"Where are we headed?"

"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.

"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."

Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.

NOAH

"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.

"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.

I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.

"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.

I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."

Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.

"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.

I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."

"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.

A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."

Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"

"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"

Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.

"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.

"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.

"Angel."

I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.

"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.

My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.

Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."

She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.

"What color are they?"

"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."

A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.

"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.

She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.

I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.

I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"

"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.

"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.

My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."

I swear to-.

"What will it be, angel?" I asked.

Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.

"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.

The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.

"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"

She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."

"Will you teach me about them?

"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.

"Only if you let me braid your hair."

My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."

She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."

Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.

"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.

"Nope."

"Nothing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.

I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.

"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."

She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.

"Be careful, angel," I warned.

"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.

I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"

"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.

Don't tempt me, angel.

The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.

I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'

"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.

Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.

Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.

"Angel," I called.

She looked up. "Hm?"

Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.

"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"

Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.

Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."

"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."

She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."

Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.

"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.

I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."

"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."

Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.

My heart warmed at the sight.

"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.

I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.

"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.

Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.

A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.

"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.

She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.

"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"

I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.

"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."

She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."

I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.

"Ditto, angel, ditto."

I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.

"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.

"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.

The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.

"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.

"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."

I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."

It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.

I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.

That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.

Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.

Y/N's real, right there in front of me.

"I'm shocked you remember that song."

"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.

Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"

"Twice."

A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.

"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."

"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."

She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"

I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.

"I told you I watched the stream twice."

"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"

"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.

"You want me to sing the whole song?"

"I do," I rushed out.

Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”

I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”

She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.

"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."

We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.

"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."

Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.

"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."

As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."

I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."

Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."

She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.

"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.

I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."

"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.

Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.

NOAH

"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.

It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.

"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."

"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.

"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"

The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.

"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."

Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.

NOAH

Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.

Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.

Hey, are you awake?-Angel.

I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.

Yeah, couldn't sleep.

Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.

I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.

Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?

The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.

Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392

Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)

I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.

"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."

Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"

"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.

He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.

"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.

With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.

"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.

Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.

"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.

I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."

"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.

Please don't.

I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"

"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.

"You are?" I questioned.

She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."

I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"

"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."

"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.

Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."

"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.

We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.

I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."

She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.

"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.

"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.

"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.

For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.

"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.

Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."

For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.

"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.

I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.

"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.

She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."

"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"

"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."

I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."

Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."

Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.

"How'd her story end?"

"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."

"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"

"Fucked up, I know."

With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."

"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.

"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."

She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.

I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."

With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."

Bullshit.

"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.

She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

READER

I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.

"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.

With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.

"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.

His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.

"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.

All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.

"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.

I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.

"Please," the word choked out on my lips.

With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.

"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."

Shit.

"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.

Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"

I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."

Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."

I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."

He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.

Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.

"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."

For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.

"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.

I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.

My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.

It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.

"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.

The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.

"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.

"Let go, I've got you."

With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.

I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."

He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.

"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.

A lot of different shit.

"No," I said.

He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.

"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."

He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.

"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.

One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.

"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.

Slow was good but right now I needed fast.

Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.

He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"

"Fuck yes, please."

Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.

"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."

"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."

"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"

"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.

My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.

"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."

I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.

In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.

"Noah," I tugged on his braids.

"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."

I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."

"Just second, angel."

His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."

The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.

"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

NOAH

I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.

Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.

"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."

Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."

I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.

"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.

“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”

I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."

"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.

“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.

She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”

I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”

She laughs. "And?"

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Y/N's body went rigid with my words.

"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.

She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.

Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.

"Angel?"

Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"Did you get your period?"

I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.

"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."

When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"

"Yep," she said quietly.

"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.

Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."

My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."

I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"

She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.

"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.

I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"

With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."

"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.

Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."

"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."

"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.

She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."

The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.

"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.

She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.

"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.

All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.

"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."

I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

Not that fucking line.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

"I'm going to head out."

Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.

The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.

As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.

I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."

She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"

“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”

“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.

If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.

“Goodnight Noah.”

With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?

No, fuck that.

I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.

"Angel," I called after her.

Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.

"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."

Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.

Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.

"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.

Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.

I need to write a song, now.

Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.

Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.

Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.

Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

315 notes · View notes

roosterforme · 8 months

Text

roosterforme's '80s Rocktober Playlist fic challenge

For those about to rock, we salute you!

Let's rock 'n' roll the Top Gun way! Choose an '80s rock song (or pop or country or rap...), and write a fic about one or more of our favorite Top Gun characters! Just make sure the songs are from Rooster's favorite decade, the 1980s!

Or create a banner or mood board! Go with an '80s vibe or a specific song to inspire you and run wild.

Banner credit to @mak-32. Rock on, Mak.

Rules for fics:

Please use the #top gun rocktober hashtag!!!

Once you have your song selected (first come, first served, no duplicates), please send me an ask letting me know which song and character(s) you want to write about. If your song is not listed below, just let me know what you want with your ask and I’ll add it (as long as it fits the decade). If your song has been claimed already, I'll let you know so you can choose another one.

You can use the song in the fic however you would like. Use it as the title, use some lyrics, have the song playing in the background, use it as inspiration, anything you want!

There is no real time limit, but please try to post in September or October.

Please make sure you tag me (or send me a message) when you post your story so I don’t miss it. I can’t wait to read and reblog!

Please reblog and share this with anyone who may want to participate. And reblogging fics is always a treat for writers!

If you’re under 18, do not submit or read smut.

Rules for banners and mood boards:

Please use the #top gun rocktober hashtag!!!

If you want to use a specific song, please send me an ask letting me know which song. If you want to participate with the '80s vibe and no specific song, just send me an ask and let me know you'll be submitting an image or images.

Please make sure you tag me (or send me a message) when you post so I don’t miss it. I can’t wait to reblog!

Please reblog and share this with anyone who may want to participate.

Songs and fics we are rocking out to:

1 @roosterforme What's Your Name by New Order (Bradley)

2 @beyondthesefourwalls Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper (Bradley)

3 @sylviebell Faithfully by Journey (Natasha)

4 @wkndwlff Love Walks In by Van Halen (Bob)

5 @desert-fern Jump by Van Halen (Bradley)

6 @yanna-banana Like a Prayer by Madonna (Jake)

7 @fanboyswhore9 Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer (Mickey)

8 @cherrycola27 Born to Be My Baby by Bon Jovi (Bradley)

9 @trickphotography2 Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones (Bradley)

10 @blue-aconite Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police (Jake)

11 @roosterforme Do You Wanna Touch Me? by Joan Jett (Bradley)

12 @startrekfangirl2233 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! (Mickey)

13 @bradshawsbitch Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen (Bradley)

14 @bellaireland1981 Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon (Bradley)

15 @wkndwlff Lay Your Hands On Me by Bon Jovi (Bob)

16 @beyondthesefourwalls Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield (Javy)

17 @thedroneranger Boys of Summer by Don Henley (Bradley)

18 @cottagecori Dancing With Myself by Generation X (Bob)

19 @sweetwhispersofchaos I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett (Natasha and Jake)

20 @sometimesanalice Straight Up by Paula Abdul (Bradley)

21 @lovinglyeternal Call Me by Blondie (Jake)

22 @roosterforme Adult Education by Hall & Oates (Jake)

23 @beyondthesefourwalls Your Love by Outfield (Bradley)

24 @mayhemmanaged You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC (Jake)

25 @topherwrites Love Shack by The B-52's (Bradley)

26 @ficsilike-reblogged Take On Me by A-ha (Bob)

27 @cottagecori Rock You Like a Hurricane by Scorpions (Bradley)

28 @jupitercomet Kissing a Fool by George Michael (Bradley)

29 @startrekfangirl2233 Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds (Jake and Bradley)

30 @topherwrites Just Like Heaven by The Cure (Jake)

31 @sweetwhispersofchaos As the World Falls Down by David Bowie (Natasha and Bob)

32 @inmyloveworld Open Arms by Journey (Bradley)

33 @thedroneranger Centerfold by J. Geils Band (Jake)

34 @gretagerwigsmuse Can't Hardly Wait by The Replacements (Bradley)

35 @bellaireland1981 Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar (Jake)

36 @blurredcolour Push It by Salt-N-Pepa (Jake and Bradley)

37 @blackwidownat2814 White Wedding by Billy Idol (Jake)

38 @keep-on-burnin The Look by Roxette (Bradley)

39 @cherrycola27 Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starr (Natasha and Javy)

40 @topherwrites Uptown Girl by Billy Joel (Bradley)

41 @jynxmirage If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher (Jake)

42 @notroosterbradshaw Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks (Bradley)

43 @ficsilike-reblogged Hungry for Heaven by Dio (Beau)

44 @callsign-magnolia Who's Crying Now by Journey (Bradley)

45 @trickphotography2 Every Breath You Take by The Police (Bob)

46 @sarahsmi13s Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard (Jake)

47 @roosterforme Cover Girl by New Kids on the Block (Natasha)

48 @bobfloydsbabe Alone by Heart (Jake)

49 @ughthisisntright The Stroke by Billy Squier (Bradley)

50 @wkndwlff Special Secret Song Inside by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (Jake)

51 @sylviebell Thriller by Michael Jackson (Natasha and Javy)

52 @xoxabs88xox Why’d You Come in Here Lookin' Like That by Dolly Parton (Jake)

53 @paigewinchester67 I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen (Bradley and Jake)

54 @sarahsmi13s Fishin' In the Dark by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (Bob)

55 @callsign-joyride Need You Tonight by INXS (Bradley)

56 @foreverrandomwritings Paradise City by Guns N' Roses (Beau)

57 @cherrycola27 Whoever's In New England by Reba McEntire (Bob)

58 @1234-angelika The Bluest Eyes in Texas by Restless Heart (Jake)

59 @decantedenchanted Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx (Mav)

60 @the-authoress-writes Black Velvet by Alannah Myles (Jake)

61 @withahappyrefrain Somebody to Love by Queen (Bradley)

62 @valhallaas Hold on Loosely by 38 Special (Javy)

63 @talktomegooseman The Chair by George Strait (Jake)

64 @foreverrandomwritings Master of Puppets by Metallica (Mickey and Bob)

65 @poetrieshouse Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran (Mav)

66 @tongue-like-a-razor Poison by Alice Cooper (Jake)

67 @1234-angelika Real Love by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers (Bradley)

68 @the-authoress-writes The Flame by Cheap Trick (Ice)

69 @hangmanstigerlily Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon (Jake)

70 @samsgoddess Hysteria by Def Leppard (Bradley)

71 @eternalsams Cherry Pie by Warrant (Jake)

72 @love-in-light Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi (Bradley)

73 @thatdammchickennugget Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams (Bradley)

74 @whatislovevavy Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears (Jake)

Totally rad cover art:

@ryebecca She Drives Me Crazy by Fine Young Cannibals

@bettycooper Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) by Kate Bush (Bradley)

@ryebecca The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News (Bob)

@mak-32 Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car by Billy Ocean (Bradley)

@laracrofted I Love Rock 'n' Roll by Joan Jett (Bob)

@sebsxphia Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners (Bob)

Need some song inspiration? Check out these bangers:

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

Start Me Up - The Rolling Stones

Livin’ On A Prayer - Bon Jovi

Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

Shout - Tears for Fears

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

Every Breath You Take - The Police

The Final Countdown - Europe

Angel - Aerosmith

Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Call Me - Blondie

Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money

Free Fallin’ - Tom Petty

Hysteria - Def Leppard

I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Just like Heaven - The Cure

I Won’t Back Down - Tom Petty

Magic - The Cars

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Addicted To Love - Robert Palmer

Love Shack - The B-52’s

Without You - Motley Crue

Material Girl - Madonna

Legs - ZZ Top

Paradise City - Guns N’ Roses

Can’t Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon

Cum on Feel the Noize - Quiet Riot

#top gun rocktober #roosterforme #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #top gun imagine #top gun maverick imagine #top gun #top gun maverick

349 notes · View notes

sugolara · 1 year

Text

𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

Feat. Katsuki Bakugo x Shoto Todoroki x Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader

A series. Book One

cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, updates thursday/sunday, slow burn, cross-posted on ao3, wattpad, qoutev

˗ˏˋ+ ´ˎ˗ After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down it's borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's to late for some people. The dead has rose and is looking for revenge.

Inspired by, ''The Walking Dead''

(ongoing)

playlist!

" Space Junk - Wang Chung " Wolf - First Aid Kit " Into The Black - Chromatics " My Life In Rewind - Eagulls " Hush - Trills " Bad Before Good - Dayone " Run Boy Run - Woodkid " You're So Cool - Jonathan Bree " So Bored - Gorgeous Bully " Operations - Duster " Blue Light - Mazzy Star " Civilian - Wye Oak " Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers " Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses " Skyfall - Adele " Struggling Man - Emily Kinney (original: Jimmy Cliff) " The Last Pale Light In The West - Ben Nichols " Up The Wolves - The Mountain Goats " Blackbird Song - Lee DeWyze " Be Gone Dull Cage - Kiev " Into Dust - Mazzy Star " Warm Shadow - Fink " Tomorrow Is a Long Time - Bob Dylan " Poison Tree - Grouper " Rhymes Of An Hour - Mazzy Star " You Are The Wilderness - Voxhaul Broadcast " Running - Delta Spirit " People, Turn around - Delta Spirit " The Lion's Roar - First Aid Kit " Pain - Boy Harsher " The Setup - Favored Nations " The Old Death - Ben Nichols " Revolution - Red Shahan " The Man Who Sold The World - Nirvana " Beautiful Mess - Balian " The Day The World Went Away - Nine Inch Nails " Mr. Splitfoot - Paris Motel " Empty Words - Bowery Electric " No Longer Making Time - Slowdive " Step Away from the Cliff - Blue-Eyed Son " Paradise - Silverberg " Take Care (To Comb Your Hair) - Ty Segall " Glad I Had a Friend - Galt MacDermot " Machine Gun - Portishead " Shadows of Planes - Duster " No Peace at All - Aldous Harding " Save Us from Ourselves - Digital Daggers " I'm No Heroine - Emily Wells " Salt in the Wound - Delta Spirit " It's All Right - Sam Cooke " To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra " 6 Underground - Sneaker Pimps " Edge Of The World - Dayshell " Bye Bye Bye - School of Seven Bells " Arsonist Lullaby - Hozier " It's All Over - Johnny Cash " The Stars Just Blink For Us - Say Hi " Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division " Knockin' On Heaven's Door - Guns N' Roses " Runnin' Down a Dream - Tom Petty " Fly Like An Eagle - Steve Miller Band " You Are Not Alone - Mavis Staples " Welcome - Harmonia & Eno ‘76’ " Hope We Can Again - Nine Inch Nails " outside - Oneheart " sleepless - Odyzon " Alesund - Sun Kil Moon " Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd " Don Abandons Alice - John Murphy " Wicked Game - Chris Isaak " Rule of Rose OST - Playing Airship " 1908 - Repulsive " I Shall Cross This River - The Black Atlantic " Easy Way Out - Low Roar

table of contents:

Season 1: Episode 1: Begin Episode 2: Not alone Episode 3: Gone but not forgotten Episode 4: You belong in this world Episode 5: Because all life is precious Episode 6: Musutafu, we'll meet again Episode 7: Izuku: I'd always thought there be more time

Season 2: Episode 8: During these two weeks Episode 9: Diopside, like your eyes Episode 10: For the first time in a long time Episode 11: Almost complete Episode 12: Determined to survive, stay alive Episode 13: Fear Episode 14: Katsuki: You are going to beat this world

Season 3: Episode 15: Away with you Episode 16: Three months ago Episode 17: Slowly withering away Episode 18: Don't die, not yet Episode 19: How long before I’m alone Episode 20: Nothing else to lose Episode 21: Shoto: Everything you would be will be gone

Season 4: Episode 22: Trouble Episode 23: For however long that'll be Episode 24: Searching Episode 25: The fallen city Episode 26: Stay who you are Episode 27: All together Episode 28: F/n: With you beside me

Season 5: Episode 29: Here Episode 30: Cruel Episode 31: Too loud Episode 32: Back on road Episode 33: All is lost Episode 34: Safe in your arms Episode 35: And so it begins Episode 36: At stake Episode 37: Sorry or whatever Episode 38: Familiar eyes

Season 6: Episode 39: A relief Episode 40: Upcoming trouble Episode 41: Never to easy Episode 42: To good for death Episode 43: Old memories Episode 44: A stroke of luck Episode 45: Be aware Episode 46: Bait Episode 47: A thump in my heart Episode 48: Belong to me Episode 49: One step closer (Towards you)

Season 7: Episode 50: Sorston Episode 51: Tenderness Episode 52: Here to stay Episode 53: The start Episode 54: Crushed Episode 55: Reporting to duty Episode 56: Good morning and goodbye Episode 57: An end to sorrow, grief & regret Episode 58: On the move Episode 59: Confirmation Episode 60: The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

Season 8: Episode 61: Not who you were Episode 62: Just you and me Episode 63: The Plaza Episode 64: The other side Episode 65: To be ready Episode 66: You're here Episode 67: So long, my dear Episode 68: Discard me

to be continued...

Book two: To The One You Left Behind

taglist: @mikeyswifie @k0z3me @sky-angel101 @stevenknightmarc @nahwajinswhore @mn-0p @a-helen113 @azrral @mary-jinx @chixkadee @flowers-4-you

641 notes · View notes

bangchanbabygurl · 7 months

Text

In The Eyes Of Love

Genre: Dark Romance/Smut/Angsty/Thriller/CEO Heir/Enemies to lovers arc.

Warnings: Explicit language/mention of domestic violence/mention of violence/alcohol abuse/mention of death/stalker/mentions of blood/drug abuse/smut scenes/dark mature themes/triggering scenes/traumatic experiences/ mentions of cheating & twisted love triangles.

Member: S.Coups (SEVENTEEN) + Wonwoo (SEVENTEEN)

In a world of madness, there’s always something more wicked sneaking into your life.

We all have the choice of leaving the dark path we follow or continuing to walk down the road; there are no wrong answers when it comes to leaving it. But there’s always a wrong answer upon continuing the path.

Summary: Getting out of a messy relationship was a big step in life for any woman; it was a fresh breath of freedom and peace. Working at a hospital as a Phlebotomist Technician was the main focus now, pushing yourself to achieve bigger goals financially and independence. Till your best friend, Chan…Christopher Bang was a man who was known for playing matchmaker within the friend group. You only hoped and made him promise he wouldn't use his tactics on you, but it was like telling a toddler not to eat sweets. You didn't want him to play matchmaker, knowing your crush on your brother’s work buddy was known to some of your friends. You lost patience upon discovering he was three steps ahead of you, wanting to play Cupid for you and his friend, who knows nothing besides marketing and numbers. You despise Choi Seungcheol for following Chan’s strange tactics and interfering with your friendship/crush with Jeon Wonwoo.

Wattpad Link

Table Of Content-»

Playlist

╚» Act I

01. Loathe

02. Birthday Girl

03. Superstitions

04: Wildest Moments

05. In Knots

06: this is me trying

07: Head Over Heels

08: Corporation

09: Champagne Problems

10: Ungodly hour

╚» Act II

11: Her Body

12: Sacrifice

13: Delicate

14: Old Fashion

15: Seungcheol: Family Feud

16: Souvenir

17. Temptation

18. Sweet Revenge

19. Revenant

20. Masquerade

╚» Act III

21. Villains

22. Bitter Heart

23. How Long?

24. Do your worst

25. Do you?

26. Is this what it feels like?

27. I Know You

158 notes · View notes

carryon-countdown · 7 months

Text

🍂Carry On Countdown 2023 • Prompt List ❄️

Hello, friends! We are excited to announce that it is once again time for the annual 2023 Carry On Countdown. The Carry On Countdown is a fandom hosted, month-long ‘countdown’ event to the Chapter 61 Snowbaz anniversary for The Simon Snow Trilogy by Rainbow Rowell. The event begins on November 25th and features daily prompts to help inspire all kinds of delightful, fan-created content as we draw closer to Simon and Baz’s anniversary date on December 24th.

We encourage fanfiction, fanart, cosplay, memes, songs, playlists, crafts, etc. The prompts are completely up to your own interpretation and can be used in your content however you like, but if you have any questions, please send us an ask.

Speaking of, this year’s admins are thrilled to present the prompt list for the 2023 Carry On Countdown:

Day 1, NOV 25: Creature

Day 2, NOV 26: Confession

Day 3, NOV 27: AU/Alternate Universe

Day 4, NOV 28: Stars

Day 5, NOV 29: Fight

Day 6, NOV 30: WLW

Day 7, DEC 1: Midnight

Day 8, DEC 2: Sick

Day 9, DEC 3: Pride

Day 10, DEC 4: Wrath

Day 11, DEC 5: Side Ships/Alternative Ships

Day 12, DEC 6: Wings

Day 13, DEC 7: Shudder

Day 14, DEC 8: Blade

Day 15, DEC 9: Familiar

Day 16, DEC 10: Smoke

Day 17, DEC 11: Fluff

Day 18, DEC 12: Hunger

Day 19, DEC 13: Sci-Fi

Day 20, DEC 14: Flowers

Day 21, DEC 15: Begin Again

Day 22, DEC 16: Music

Day 23, DEC 17: Bite

Day 24, DEC 18: Cross

Day 25, DEC 19: Carnival/Faire

Day 26, DEC 20: Angst

Day 27, DEC 21: Gift

Day 28, DEC 22: Gently

Day 29, DEC 23: Cherry

Day 30, DEC 24: Crack

You are welcome to participate in as many or as few of the days of the event as you wish. Completing every daily prompt for the COC is not mandatory, although anyone who does will earn a special spot on our “Page of Honour” once the event has concluded.

The COC is a fan-created and fan-run event, and once again we have another dedicated team of admins who are busy organizing all of the fun: Cora @otherpeoplesheartachept-2, Lola @dragoneggos, Froggy @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, and Raegan @carryonmylovelies. Please stay tuned for our Meet the Admin’s post in a few weeks!

If you can believe it, this is the 8th consecutive year that the fandom has hosted this countdown, and its admins are thrilled to continue this cherished tradition with you all. We wish everyone who is planning on participating in the countdown the best of luck. And don’t forget! Our askbox is always open for any questions you may have concerning this event.

Reblogs are very much appreciated (please reblog!), and the hashtags we encourage using with posts relating to the countdown are #Carry On Countdown and #COC 2023.

With love,

The admins of the 2023 Carry On Countdown <3

#carry on countdown #coc 2023 #simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz #the simon snow trilogy #carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #rainbow rowell #please share and reblog!

176 notes · View notes

blackcouplesera · 21 days

Text

50 intimacy building exercises for black couples ❤️‍🔥

1. Take a long walk together for the sole purpose of sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other.

2. Plan a surprise date night in for one another.

3. Cook a meal together and enjoy it by candlelight.

4. Write love letters to each other, bonus points if you exchange and read them.

5. Take a couple’s dance class together.

6. Read an erotic novel together. Reenacting it is up to you!

7. Volunteer together for a cause you both care about.

8. Make time to shower together, let your partner cleanse you.

9. Go on a weekend getaway and spend quality time in bed.

10. Take a bubble bath and enjoy wine.

11. Watch your favorite movies and cuddle.

12. Take a hike and enjoy nature together.

13. Write down your goals and dreams together, affirm each other in the process.

14. Take a cooking class together.

15. Try a new hobby together.

16. Plan a picnic to enjoy each other's company.

17. Schedule a couples' massage or self care day.

18. Create a vision board for your future together.

19. Take a pottery class together.

20. Spend a day exploring your city and discovering new places.

21. Invest in a polaroid or film camera and take spicy photos of each other.

22. Write a poem or song for each other.

23. Plan a surprise weekend getaway.

24. Create a couple’s board game to play together.

25. Go on a road trip to explore new places together.

26. Plan a sip and paint night together. Grab some body paint, and use each other as canvases!

27. Attend a concert or live performance together.

28. Create a language for only you to use together.

29. Go on a bike ride together.

30. Watch the sunset and enjoy each other's company.

31. Play a couples' trivia game.

32. Attend a wine tasting together.

33. Create a recipe together.

34. Plan a date night at home and cook a romantic dinner together.

35. Attend a drive-in movie together.

36. Visit a botanical garden.

37. Go on a cabin trip and disconnect from technology.

38. Take a hot air balloon ride together.

39. Attend a poetry night together.

40. Go on a boat ride and enjoy the water.

41. Take a couples' pole dancing class.

42. Have a game night with other couples.

43. Try meditating together.

44. Attend a book reading or signing together.

45. Go on a couple’s retreat.

46. Bake each other’s favorite sweets.

47. Create a playlist and swap headphones.

48. Take a mixology class together.

49. Plan a scavenger hunt for each other.

50. Go on a day trip to a nearby town.

#black tumblr #sexy #black couples #black love #black beauty #black is beautiful #black couple #melaninpoppin #black women luxury #curvy women

64 notes · View notes

waitmyturtles · 8 months

Text

At a bar in Euljiro, one of Seoul’s up-and-coming hip neighborhoods, two voices intertwined in a duet. One was high-pitched, the other an octave lower.

But there was only one singer, a 27-year-old named jiGook. The other voice was a recording made years ago, before he began his transition and hormone therapy deepened his voice.

“I don’t want to forget about my old self,” he told the 50 or so people at the performance, a fund-raiser for a group that supports young L.G.B.T.Q. Koreans. “I love myself before I started hormone therapy, and I love myself as who I am now.”

Like many other South Korean singers, jiGook, who considers himself gender fluid, transmale and nonbinary, wants to be a K-pop star. So do Prin and SEN, his bandmates in QI.X, a fledgling group that has released two singles.

What makes them unusual is that they are proudly out — in their music, their relationship with their fans and their social activism. They call themselves one of the first openly queer, transgender K-pop acts, and their mission has as much to do with changing South Korea’s still-conservative society as with making music.

In the group’s name — pronounced by spelling out the letters — Q stands for queer, I for idol and X for limitless possibilities. Park Ji-yeon, the K-pop producer who started QI.X, says it is “tearing down the heteronormative walls of society.”

Very few K-pop artists, or South Korean entertainers in general, have ever been open about being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer. Though the country has become somewhat more accepting of sexual diversity, homophobia is still prevalent, and there are no legal protections against discrimination.

For entertainers, coming out is seen as a potential career killer, said Cha Woo-jin, a music critic in Seoul. That applies even to K-pop, despite its young, increasingly international fan base and its occasional flirtation with androgyny and same-sex attraction.

“K-pop fans seem to accept the queer community and imagery so long as their favorite stars don’t come out explicitly,” Mr. Cha said.

That’s not a compromise that QI.X is willing to make.

The bandmates’ social media accounts, which promote their causes along with their music, are up front about who they are. So are their singles, “Lights Up” (“The hidden colors in you / I see all the colors in you”) and “Walk & Shine,” which Mx. Park says “celebrates the lives and joy of minorities.”

“Someday, we want to be on everyone’s streaming playlist,” said Prin, 22.

As a producer, Mx. Park, 37, who identifies as queer and nonbinary, has worked on hits for well-known K-pop acts like GOT7 and Monsta X. But she wanted to make music that spoke directly to people like her, with “an artist who could encapsulate our lives, love, friendships and farewells.”

She met some of the QI.X members through a K-pop music class she started in 2019, designed with queer performers in mind. (In other classes, she said, “It was assumed that female participants only wanted to learn girl-group songs and male participants only boy-group songs.”)

SEN, 23, said that when Mx. Park asked her to join QI.X, “it was as if a genie in a bottle had come to me.”

SEN had been a dancer and a choreographer for several K-pop management agencies, including BTS’s agency, Big Hit Entertainment, now known as HYBE. The people she worked with knew she was queer, and they were welcoming.

But whenever she auditioned to join an idol group, she said, she “never fit the bill for what they wanted.” People would say she was too short or boyish, or comment about her cropped hair.

That’s not an issue for QI.X, which doesn’t aspire to the immaculately styled look of the typical K-pop act (and, in any case, couldn’t afford the ensemble of stylists those groups have). Individuality, they say, is part of the point.

QI.X often performs at fund-raisers, for L.G.B.T.Q. and other causes, and sees its music as inseparable from its activism. Maek, for instance, an original member who sang on both singles but is on hiatus from the group, works for the Seoul Disabled People’s Rights Film Festival and volunteers for a transgender rights organization.

With no support from a management agency, Mx. Park and the group do everything themselves. They handle their own bookings and manage their social media presence, recording videos themselves to post on TikTok and Instagram.

Many of the videos are shot at LesVos, an L.G.B.T.Q. bar in Seoul that often serves as QI.X’s studio and rehearsal hall. Myoung-woo YoonKim, 68, who has run LesVos since the late 1990s, grew up at a time when lesbians were practically invisible in South Korea. “I would often think, ‘Am I the only woman who loves women?’” they said.

The QI.X members adore Mx. YoonKim, whom they call hyung, a Korean word for older brother. During a recent video session at LesVos, after dozens of increasingly comical lip-syncing takes of “Walk & Shine,” Mx. YoonKim started to join in. Before long, everyone was bent over with laughter.

To a casual observer of K-pop, it might seem surprising that so few of its artists are out. As Mr. Cha, the music critic, notes, L.G.B.T.Q. imagery has been known to surface in K-pop videos and in ads featuring its stars.

Some critics see this phenomenon as “queerbaiting,” a cynical attempt to attract nonconformist fans — or to deploy gender-bending imagery because it’s seen as trendy — without actually identifying with them. To Mr. Cha, it suggests that K-pop has a substantial queer fan base, and that some artists might simply be expressing their identities to the extent they can.

Mr. Cha thinks the taboo against entertainers’ coming out reflects a general attitude toward pop culture in South Korea: “We pay for you, therefore don’t make us uncomfortable.” (Similar attitudes seem to prevail in Japan, where one pop idol recently made news by telling fans he was gay.)

QI.X’s fans, who call themselves QTZ (a play on “cuties”), love the group for charging over that boundary. Many are overseas and follow the group online, leaving enthusiastic messages. “I’m so happy I can finally have an artist in the K-pop industry that I can relate to on a gender level, on a queer level,” one said in a video message to the group. “I’m so excited for you!”

The band also gets hateful messages, which its members do their best to ignore. Prin, 22, is optimistic that attitudes in South Korea are changing. (Joining QI.X was Prin’s way of coming out as gender queer, but friends were much more surprised by the news that Prin was in an idol group.)

The biggest show of QI.X’s career, so far, was in July at a Pride event, the Seoul Queer Culture Festival. In recent years, it had been held at Seoul Plaza, a major public square. But this year, the city denied organizers permission to hold it there, letting a Christian group use the space for a youth concert instead.

Activists saw that as discrimination, though the city denied it. Conservative Christians are a powerful force in South Korean politics, having lobbied successfully for years to block a bill that would prevent discrimination against gay, lesbian and transgender people. Organizers held the festival in Euljiro.

For its set, QI.X had about 20 backup performers, some of whom were their friends (Mx. YoonKim was one of them). They had rehearsed only once together, on the festival stage that morning, because they hadn’t had the money to rent a big studio.

Christian protesters were picketing the festival, some with signs that read “Homosexuality not human rights but SIN.” But fans were there, too. As QI.X sang “Lights Up” and “Walk & Shine,” hundreds crowded in front of the stage, many wearing headbands that were purple, the group’s color. There were Pride flags, and signs that read “We only see you QI.X.”

Hours later, the excitement still hadn’t faded for QI.X. “I felt alive for the first time in a while,” SEN said.

Text by Jin Yu Young, photos by Chang W. Lee (if you have a NY Times subscription or a free trial, the videos and photos of this piece are wonderful!)

#qi.x #lgbtq+#lgtbq+ rights in south korea

135 notes · View notes

blue-jisungs · 2 months

Text

☆彡 BLUE-JISUNGS' 2ND ANNIVERSARY ! ★彡

4/03/2022. that’s when a certain silly girl decided to post her first work to a new platform. that silly girl is axe and a new platform (for her) is tumblr. 2 years passed so so quickly i don’t even know how?? thank you all for being here for me and supporting my work, it means so much to me!!

to celebrate this, i decided to make an event!! it’s nothing too fancy but i hope you’ll enjoy it: seventeen members as dpr ian and dpr live (dabin) songs! ofc i wouldn’t be myself if there wasn’t a little twist~~ here’s the deal: i’ll post titles of songs so far, you don’t know which member it is unless posted AND within each fic there’s a spoiler who’s gonna be next !! the range is 500-4k words for some of them, there is a variety of genres so i hope everyone will find something to enjoy. also, i made most of the banners myself — however id like to thank @slytherinshua , @eternalgyuuu and @l3visbby for your help with some of them !!

i don’t wanna make it too long so if anyone is interested, a few words from me and thank you note is below the masterlist ! <3 be aware that the schedule may change as i haven’t written all pieces yet!

ACTION!, dpr live — c. vernon [4/03]

SO I DANCED, dpr ian — l. chan [7/03]

SUMMER TIGHTS, dpr live — k. soonyoung [10/03]

TEXT ME, dpr live — k. mingyu [12/03]

PEANUT BUTTER & TEARS, dpr ian — y. jeonghan [15/03]

BALLROOM EXTRAVAGANZA, dpr ian — l. seokmin [18/03]

SO BEAUTIFUL, dpr ian — h. joshua [21/03]

YELLOW CAB, dpr live — b. seungkwan [24/03]

JASMINE, dpr live — x. minghao [27/03]

PLAYLIST, dpr live — l. jihoon [30/03]

MERRY GO, dpr ian — w. junhui [1/04]

JAM & BUTTERFLY, dpr live — j. wonwoo [4/04]

ONE SHOT, dpr ian — c. seunghcheol, [7/04]

★彡 a small thank you note !

i wanted to say thank you all from the bottom of my heart, my moots, followers and friends! those two years were amazing and i can’t imagine my life without you. i’m so so glad i decided to move to tumblr!! thank you for staying by my side and being there for my ups and downs. love you so so much !!

tagging my svt tl just in case ! @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @eternalgyuuu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu

#svt fluff #kpop event #svt fic #seventeen fluff

65 notes · View notes

writing-with-emy · 1 year

Text

Young, Dumb & Broke - JJ Maybank x f!reader

JJ MAYBANK MASTERLIST | PROMPTLIST | REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Shipping: JJ Maybank x F!Reader Summary: Sometimes songs can Bring Back Memories. Word count: 5,2K Prompts: Fluff: #03 ; #10 ; #22 ; #27 ; #32 Angst: #02 ; #14 ; #34 Funny: #11 ; #18 Warnings: Mentions of Luke, Death, Drugs (mostly weed), some nicknames, metion of abuse, break-up A/N: I'm so sorry that you needed to wait so long for this, but here it is. It is deffinetly not proof read, I don't have the Motivation for that anymore so if your find something, please Tell me! But I#m absoloutly in love with this one! Plus Google Docs always tried to Make 'Pope' - 'the Pope'. Now I have an Image in my Head of JD's face badly added on the Pope.

The Thing about Breakup is, the start of it is always the shittiest part, then afterwards, there were good and Bad days. Today you had a bad day, where you didn’t get out of your Bed and just lie around. Days like this were always the same since your Breakup with JJ. You wake up, already feeling shitty, looking around in your room where the sun is shining through your closed curtains lighting it a bit up, and already deciding that you wouldn’t get out of bed. Your Mom knew already what was up, when she came in to wake you up for Breakfast. She just looks at you, sighs, goes back to the kitchen and brings you your breakfast. She knew on those days she couldn’t get you with anything out of bed. You and JJ were for several years best friends, before you started dating and it was good until the whole thing with the gold started. The day you Broke up with him, you not only lost him as your Boyfriend, but also as your best friend. So when you looked at your nightstand, there was a plate with fresh, and probably cold, pancakes and syrup, a glass of water and your phone. Instead of eating you decided to listen to music so you took your headphones, connected them with your phone, before putting on your playlist. Several songs played while you were just in your thoughts thinking about everything that had happened and staring at your ceiling, until ‘Young Dumb & Broke’ by Khalid started playing. And all the Memories of your relationship started to come back.

‘I can not give you everything, you know I wish I could.’

You and JJ both came from the Cut, that’s where you met and grew up together. With most of the people knowing and helping each other there, there wasn’t a lot of time between birth and the day you met JJ. Actually you guys mother knew each other, they were close, but not too close for your mom knowing where his Mother went, but since this was when JJ was really young, it took a while for you guys to meet. You actually met in 1st grade of Elementary school, you can remember that day like no other. When your Mom came to pick you up, you introduced her to him, but once she heard his last name, she knew exactly whose son he was. You guys waited for Luke to show up but he never did, so your mom took him with her and brought him home. He spent most of his day with your family, except one day, where Luke actually cared to show up. Your Mom and Luke talked outside, while JJ was next to you waiting in the Car. Your Mom knew how Luke treated his Mom, so he just casually shook it off and was okay with the Idea, that your Mom would pick him up when she would pick you up. He always was an Asshole, that would never change. You remember on your tenth Birthday, JJ came as soon as possible to you, on his Way picking some random Flowers from someone's front yard, he checked probably every five seconds, if he had the little present for you in his pocket and didn’t lose it. Once he was at your place he knocked at your Window, which you opened, it was early in the morning, the sun had just risen so he didn’t want to wake up your Mom. Tiredly you opened your window, letting JJ in, he was the only one of your friends to come at such an early time knocking at your Window, and as weird kids are sometimes, he weirdly gave you the Flowers before taking the little box from his pocket.

“I know it isn’t much, but I made this for you..”, he said quietly and a bit shy. You opened the Present to find a Necklace just like his in it. “Thank you, it’s perfect JJ.”, you beamed at him, pulling him in a Hug. You turned around letting JJ put the Necklace around your Neck.

Stuff like this is probably a tradition for you guys, every year on your Birthday, he would always come to you, with some flowers from someone's Front yard, and some self made gift.

On your last Birthday it was just Flowers and a Card, but it was still as sweet.

“You know, I just wished I could give you more.”, he said, looking at you with a kind of Sadness and guilt in his eyes. “JJ, I tell you this every year, It’s perfect no matter what it is, because it’s from you.” JJ knew that a discussion wouldn’t bring anything, because you are stubborn when it comes up.

‘I’m so High at the Moment’ ; ‘I’m so caught up in this.’

You were 15 when You smoked your first Joint, and the situation was pretty funny.

You went to JohnB’s house on the search for JJ, you walked by the twinkie, not knowing the person you searching was in there. You walked into the House seeing John B and Kie on the Couch and hearing someone in the Kitchen.

“Hey, do you guys know where JJ is?”, you asked John B and Kie. “Probably in the Twinkie smoking weed.”, Kie said, looking over at you. “He is in the Twinkie smoking a Joint.”, Pope stated coming out of the Kitchen. “What got you thinking that?”, John B asked, looking at Pope. “He took all the good Pudding with him.”, he just said. “Really?”, Kie let out an annoying sound hitting the Sofa. “Well, I’m gonna look for him there.”, you stated, turning around. “Tell him he needs to stop taking all the good pudding with him when He smokes.”, Pope called after you. “I will do that!”, you said, trying not to let out a chuckle throwing your arm in the air while walking down the Stairs. “How long do you guys think this whole ‘We-are-just-friends’-thing is going to last?”, Kie asked John B and Pope. “No clue, but if something soon isn’t happening, then I’m going crazy.”, Pope said. “Yep.”, John added.

You opened the door to the Twinkie and a Cloud of Smoke came in your face and your nose filled with the smell of weed. “Close the door, I’m trying to Hotbox here.”, you heard him say. “Okay, Mister Hotbox, chill out.”, you said, going into the Twinkie and closing the door behind you. “What’s up?”, he asked, looking at you while taking a hit. “I was looking for you, wanted to spend some time with my best friend.”, you said. “Oh, and I should tell you from Pope, that you need to stop taking the good Pudding when you smoke.”, you added. “Well, then be my guest and I will kick Popes ass, because this shit is good as hell when you're High, you should try it.”, he stated. “Well, there's one problem J.”, you said. “What?” “I never smoked before, forgot?” “Oh shit yeah, I mean we could change that.”, he looked between you and the Joint back and forth with a face that said ‘You can take it if you want.’, holding the Joint before you. You looked at JJ and the Joint and started thinking for a Moment if you really should. “Are you sleeping here Tonight?” “Yeah, why?” “Well, if this shit from your cousin isn’t doing me well, then you are the one taking care of me. Plus, I’m not going High back to my Mom’s nor am I staying here alone, High.”, you set your point looking at him.’ “So, that's a yes?” “No JJ, I’m asking you that shit just for fun. Of course it’s a yes.”m you said sarcastic. “Okay, no need for an attitude.”, he lifted his arm in a defensive mode before looking at you. Once you realized what you just said yes to, you feeled the nervousness beginning to rise in your stomach. “C-Can we like.. do something, before I take a like? Like.. Like shotgun or something..?”, you asked, playing with your nails. “Yeah, sure, would you like to shotgun?”, he asked. “Yeah..” He turned to, so he would be sitting right in front of you. “Come closer.”, he said, patting the place before him. So you slide closer, your knees touching when you sit in place before him. “Don’t worry, you're safe okay? If you don’t want to, can you back off okay?” You nodded. “You know-” “Yes, JJ I know how shotgun goes, I watch movies you know and Stuff you know?”, you said. He just nodded.

Now that is the part you are the most nervous probably about, the part where you asked yourself why you asked JJ to do Shotgun, when you just could’ve taken a Hit. You watched JJ taking a hit, before putting the joint back into the ashtray, he put his Hands on your cheeks to pull your Face closer to His. You have no Idea if you already are feeling something, because of the smoke that is already surrounding you, or the Fact that you and JJ Faces are just a few inches from each other, but your head starts to feel a bit dizzy and butterflies start to erupt in your stomach. You opened your mouth a bit to inhale the smoke JJ exhales, while closing your eyes just as JJ. His hands unconsciously moved from your Cheeks to your Jaw, to hold you more stable. You could feel and hear your heartbeat in your years, like it’s nearly popping out your Chest and if JJ would concentrate on his touch he would probably feel how your heart was racing. But once all the smoke was out of JJ’s lungs and mostly in your, you guys didn’t move, you stayed a couple of seconds this close, with your Hands on JJ’s forearms. But you needed to get the smoke out, and the door opened just in that Moment. You started coughing the smoke out, which made JJ laugh and the Person behind you looked at you suspiciously. “What’s up?”, you asked, turning around still a bit coughing, seeing Pope Standing there. “Taking a Pudding, because I want one, and all we have left of them are here. “Hey they are ours!”, he said. “Then Buy your own, one is mine.”, Pope said, taking one, before closing the door again leaving you two alone.

Fast forward and a couple Hits later you and JJ, are in the Twinkie High as a Kite, if not even Higher. “Shit, I’m so fucking High.”, you said grinning, looking at yourself on your Phone Screen on Snapchat seeing your red Eyes. “Well, we’re Hotboxing and it is your first time, what did you expect?”, he asked. “I don’t know.”, you said while laying down putting your Head in his Lap. You searched for a filter, before choosing a funny one and starting to film. In the Background was some random playlist JJ played from his phone, while he was eating a pudding. You started to film JJ, zooming in on his face when He opened his Mouth and you could see his full mouth with his pudding still in it. “Ew, JJ!”, you said while you stopped filming. “What?”, he asked with a full mouth. “That’s Disgusting. You’re Lucky you’re cute.”, you said laughing while saving the Video. “I’m what?”, he asked after swallowing the pudding he had in his mouth. “You’re cute.”, you said. “I’m cute?”, he asked. “Well, you’re not really unattractive plus you are not Disgusting. You sometimes do Disgusting things Like this, but you aren’t really disgusting.” “Well, thank you, and I must say you are pretty cute too.”, he said. “Well, thank you.”, you said, smiling at him.

‘We have so much in common’

When it comes to Hobbies and doing stuff, you and JJ are pretty much the same. When Nobody can find you at your or John B’s place, they Just need to go to the Beach to see you both in the Water surfing, trying to outdo the other. That all went that way, that you even took the same Jobs. If one of you really finds interest in something that is boring to the other, you still spend time together. That all really went from drinking, doing KEG-Parties, surfing to literal handworking stuff. ‘You always say I’m Wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m right’

“Okay, but where have you read this?”, you asked JJ, watching him from the hammock walking from side to side. “Wikipedia.”, he said, stopping his movements. “JJ, I hate to break it to you, but Wikipedia isn’t a really good source.”, you said to him. “What, so you don’t believe that barking helps to get snakes to leave?”, he asked. “Well, If you meet an anaconda and she is ready to fight you, tell me how it went if you are not dead by then.”, you said, getting off the Hammock and making your way to the Chateau. “Really, I thought I had at least your Back on that thing.”, he said following you in the House. “JJ, I love you, but I’m not sure about that fact.”, you just added. “What are you talking about?”, Kie asked. “The whole, Snakes and barking thing.”, you said, letting yourself slump down next to Kie. “Really?”, Pope asked, coming in. “Come on- Okay watch the next time a snake is here somewhere, I’m going to show you that my plan is going to work.”, he just said stubbornly like a toddler.

‘What’s fun about commitment?’ ; ‘When we have our life to live.’

You tiredly make your way to your Window wondering half asleep who would knock at 1 a.m. at your window. “JJ?”, you asked, sleepy. “Hey.. can I come in?”, he asked. “Yeah..”, you said walking away from the Window turning on your little Lamp you have for reading. You heard him coming in, nearly falling in his face, before closing the Window stumbling over to your bed. “Are you sober?”, you looked at him scanning him from top to bottom and back up. You saw the fresh bruises on his face, you just didn’t know if they were from Luke or from his way to you probably falling sometimes. “I’m moderately functional.”, he said, falling next to you on the Bed. “I’ll take that as a no then.”, you looked at him. He just rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t matter.. I just want to be close to someone for a little bit.. Is that okay?”, he asked with closed eyes, not noticing how Soft your look became after that Question. “Yeah.”, you said softly, laying down, while JJ moved next to you. he turned off the light, before wrapping his arms around your waist and putting his head on your chest curling in on your side. You always cuddled like that, when JJ needed some comfort after his father hit him or just let his anger out on him in general. “Do you wanna tell me what happened?”, you whispered. “Just..my dad.. the usual you know?”, he said with closed eyes. You just nodded, one Hand in his Hair, while the other caressed his Back. “You know what's funny?”, he asked quietly. “What?”, you asked. “He always tells me.. How you are going to leave me, once you realize how fucked up I am. That I’m just like him, and that you never love someone like me. A-and sometimes I really believe that, I tell myself that even sometimes, but once I see you, and have you in my Arms after all those years..I know that he is wrong, just like me..sometimes. I really want to let you go sometimes, because you deserve someone, better than I am..better than I can be.. but I don’t want to, i don’t want to let you go. I don’t want another guy here in my place, I want you to have me by your side and not some other prick. This shit is probably so selfish but I don’t care, you are my girl, always were, always will be. I don’t care that I’m selfish..”, he started to blurt out. You have no Idea what to say to that, to the fact that he probably just told you that he loves you more than just a friend, but you didn’t need to because just as you were about to say something you heard him snore quietly, which meant he was dead asleep. So you just lied there until sleep won you over on its side again.

‘Jump then we think, leave it all in the game of love’

When JJ woke up, he directly remembered what he just rant to you about last night when he came. HIs first instinct was to get up and just leave, to not speak to you for the rest of the day, or the week, maybe the rest of the year. He just admitted to you that he has feelings for you. But instead of getting up and running for his dear life, he waited for you to wake up and to talk about it. Once you were up and eating breakfast, you couldn’t stand the tense atmosphere anymore so you started talking. “So..”, you started. “So..?”, he repeated. “Those things you said last night… Did you mean them?”, you asked directly out. “That was straight forward..”, he said a little chuckle, leaving him. “I know.. I just don’t want to talk a lot around the topic of why this is so tense right now..”, you said looking down on your plate. “Okay, uh shit.. Well, yes.. I meant every single word of it.. I knew it for pretty much the past years but I just pushed it back, but since the one day in the twinkie where we were so close..where our faces were so close.. Since then I couldn’t think about anything else.”, he confessed. “Well, then let me tell you, that I’m never going to leave you okay? And nobody can be better than you JJ, because you are the Best I’m gonna have. I love you too, okay? Don’t ever question that.”, you said, taking his Hand in yours. “So, who are we to each other..?”, he asked. “You tell me.”, you said looking at him. “Would you want to be my girl? officially.”, he asked, looking at you. “I would love to.”, you said smiling. JJ just smiled at you back, not really realizing that this means that you are together. “Well, Boyfriend, I was Kinda expecting a Kiss by now or do you just wanna keep staring?”, you stated, with a grin forming on your lips. “Oh shit, sorry.”, he said standing up pulling you up with him. He pulled you by your hand to him, before he put his hands on your waist and he finally connected your lips. Your lips moved in sync while you could feel the Butterflies erupt in your stomach, making your knees weak. Your Hands moved in his hair when he pulled you closer to him, when you needed to break the Kiss for air you both just grinned at each other like the lovesick birds you are. “You know, that you are never gonna get rid of me do you?”, he asked. “I know, because you're never gonna get rid of me too.”, you said.

Well but for the sake of the others, you love birds could never really stop acting on the fact that you are dating now. “Hey, did you get my note?”, JJ asked, once you and Kie arrived at the Beach for today's KEG-Party. “Yes, Of course I got it. You taped it to my forehead while I was sleeping.”, you said, eye rolling. “No need for the attitude Cupcake.”, he stated, coming to you. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t have one if you didn’t fully taped a Note to my forehead.”, you said. “Well, how can I make it up to you?”, he asked, pulling you to him after he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Well for the first part, you could give me my Kiss I didn’t get this morning.”, you said. “Well, that is easy.”, he said leaning down, connecting your lips in a passionate kiss. You put your hands on his cheeks, while you hear the others making gagging noises. He tried to show them his middle finger, but you grabbed his Hand and put it back in place and broke the Kiss. “And for the second part..”, you began. “Yes?” “You owe me a dance Mr. Maybank.”, you grinned, patting his cheek, before going to Kie to help her. “Seriously?”, he called after you, when He noticed you were wearing his shirt and lumberjack shirt. “Hey! Those are mine!”, he said. “Well, Not anymore!”, you called back, grinning.

‘Run into sin, do it all in the Name of fun.’

Well, all that was a year and a half ago, now everything looks different and you were laying in your bed crying, when the Memory of your breakup came back to Life.

You met JJ, after probably a couple of weeks. You knew about the gold and what they were planning to do. You couldn’t handle that JJ is putting his life for stuff like that in danger, you hated it to be fair so you distanced yourself from him and the others. But today was the day you met JJ to talk to him about it. “Hey..”, you said, looking at him as he came to you. “Hey..”, he said back. “So what do you wanna talk about?”, he asked, looking at you. “You know exactly what I wanna talk about.”, you stated. “And I told you Y/N, I’m not gonna let John B down with that, I don’t wanna talk about if that’s all you wanna talk about, then I’m gonna go.”, He said, turning around ready to go. “What about us huh?”, you asked. “What?”, he turned back to you. “What is with us? Do you not realize that I’m scared that Soon, I’m getting the Message from one of our Friends that something didn’t work out and something happened to you?”, you started. “Like, what?” “Like, these weird ass dudes, that came out of nowhere for you guys because of the Compass, or Ward fucking Cameron who is mad at John B because, he took Sarah from him. Or that shit with Rafe who is just as sick as his own Father!”, you become louder, and more frustrated from sentence to sentence. “Nothing is going to Happen!” “What if it is one day?! I can’t let this happen!” You feel the tears burning in the eyes from each passing second, with your voice starting to break with each sentence. “What does that mean!?”, he asked, now becoming frustrated himself. “You’re Changing!” “So is the rest of the Fucking World!” “So what? What is your plan if you find the Gold or something else just gonna sell it? Like it isn’t weird that five teenagers are there with gold that is worth millions of Dollars!” “We're gonna figure that out when It’s time!” “You don’t have a plan do you?”, you asked, calming your voice a bit down. “Well, what’s the real reason you wanted to talk to me?”, he asked. “I’m not going to watch you get into dangerous stuff like that and do nothing.”, you begin. “What do you mean?”, he asked. “What I mean is.. I’m breaking up with you. I’m not going to sit here and let you possibly ruin your whole life and put yourself into life threatening danger.”, you said, voice breaking in the middle of the sentence. “What..”, he began. “It’s over JJ.”, you said, before walking away. JJ just watched you walking away, no plan what to do, but once he felt the tears burning in his eyes he put his head back swallowing the tears down making it with a fast pace back to the Chateau. If you needed to leave him, then you should, he didn’t need you once he had the gold and was living the Kook life with his Friends who would never leave him over something.

Once you were Home you ran straight to your room, no hello to your mother or anything. You let yourself fall onto your bed, finally letting the tears fall, sobbing in your Pillow you pressed to your face. You screamed, you sobbed and you probably had a whole breakdown in your bed. You hoped your mother didn’t hear it, but once you calmed down a little your door was opened and closed and someone came to you. “Hey, sweetheart.”, your mother said quietly, putting to Cups of Tea on your bedside table. You just looked at her saying nothing. She sat down on your Bed patting on her lap, which you know what it means. You got a bit up so she could sit better on your Bed, before putting your head in her lap facing your door. “Tell me what's wrong.”, she started, going with her fingers through your hair. “I broke up with JJ..”, you admit with a sore throat. “The first heartbreak is always the worst..”, she told you. “I wish this was the only thing why..”, you said. “Why what happened?”, she asked. “You thought for a Moment if you should tell your mother about the Gold, but then you thought fuck it and you told her. “...and then he just let me walk away, like he didn’t care..”, you cried to your Mother. “Well, he was always a little Stubborn, but that was probably one of the things you love about him, because he didn’t give up so easily..”, she smiled a bit. “Yes, but why did he let me go so easily, why could he leave me so easily for some Random shit..?”, you asked. “People make their own decisions, Honey. And sometimes, they decide to go for a while. And sometimes, it takes time to understand why.”, she answered.

Well that is now a couple of Months ago, you still don’t understand why, why JJ let it all happen but you now can live more with the heartbreak then before but it still hurts. Well and now, all you know is that John B nearly went to Jail because of Ward and that was it. No Idea about how JJ is doing or the other, you just hope they were all good.

‘Yeah, we’re just Young, Dumb and Broke but we still got love to give’

It is a few days later, you knew about John B’s and Sarah’s possible death during the Storm and you really wished you could be there for JJ, but you were afraid of going to him. So you just sit silently at home, while your Mom is at work. Well until you got a Message.

JJ: Hey.. Uhm I know this weird but can we like.. talk or something?JJ: please?

You didn’t need to get asked why, you just asked where and when you read the ‘Chateau’ text you got up and made your way to the Home of the Pogues.

Once you arrived, you first looked outside for him, but when he wasn’t at the dock you went inside the house and the only place he could possibly be. You opened the door to his room and saw him sitting on the Bed, elbows on his knees, while his face was buried in his Hands. “JJ?”, you asked carefully. He lifted his head, looking at you with red eyes and damp cheeks and without a second thought he stood up coming to you and hugging you. You were a bit surprised at first but you wrapped your arms around his neck giving him comfort, while he just cried in your shirt. “It’s okay.. Let it out..”, you whispered in his ear. “I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry.”, he said, trying not to let his voice shake too much which isn’t working. “It’s okay JJ..”, you said, stroking his back. “No it’s not fucking okay. John B and Sarah are fucking Dead.. All because of that shitty Gold and I was so fucking stubborn because of it, I not only lost my Best Friend but also the best fucking thing I had in my Life!”, he said, backing away from you walking in his room up and down. “I was so fucking stubborn, that I didn’t listen to you, because I wanted to show you, that you were wrong about everything and now look. JB and Sarah are fucking gone, they are gone! GONE! And…and with all that, shit.. during all of that I fucking lost you..not only my Girlfriend but also as my fucking Best friend! I feel like a fucking looser, that couldn’t even keep my friends from death, nor could I keep my fucking girlfriend. I’m just like my fucking asshole of a father.”, he said, breaking down. As fast as you could you go to JJ, sitting next to him on the floor wrapping your arms around his shoulder pulling him against you just letting him cry for a bit.

You buried your face in his hair, trying to fight your own tears. But once he calmed down you took his face in your Hands and turned it so that he looked at you. “Listen to me okay..?”, you started looking at him, while he was just nodding. “First of all, they haven’t found their Bodys yet..right? So there is still a chance that they are alive and just stranded somewhere…Don’t give up that hope okay..? And second of all..yes you were stubborn, so fucking stubborn JJ. But fuck, that’s the JJ I know, always stubborn for the things he wants to achieve. That’s one of the things I love about you…like every fucking thing okay..? And you're nothing like your father.. don’t ever say that again, you are better than him in so so so many ways JJ. Never ever think of you like that again. I love you, I’m always going to, alright..?”, you said. He just nodded looking at you not really knowing what to say. “I know that it’s probably the wrong timing.. but c-can I kiss you..?”, he asked. “You don’t need to ask, just do it..”, you smiled. A second later JJ Lips finally found yours again, and it was like it never has been different. Like the last few months didn’t happen and you were just two People, mourning over their friends. When You separated you looked at each other, not daring to say something. “So uhm… Can- Can we like try it again please..?”, he asked: You chuckled lightly before pressing your Lips to his again, moving forward on his lap while wrapping your Arms around his neck, you separated your face a bit from his to look at him. “I would love to.. but you owe me a date.”, you whispered. “Anything you want..”, he whispered back. “Unless I screw this up Again, I’m going to Marry you.”, he said, while leaning his forehead against yours. “Well you better not mess this up.”, you said smiling.

#outer banks #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fic #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x you #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybank x reader fluff #jj maybank angst #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x reader angst #Spotify #writing-with-emy

132 notes · View notes

xxnghtclls · 4 months

Text

Permission Playlist!

So I‘ve tried to put together the songs which inspired me the most or that I remember vividly listening to, while writing chapters!

A lot of them just served to put me into a certain mood, so the lyrics don‘t necessarily match up, but the lyrics of most of the songs played a huge role. You might recognise some of them even 😋

Here’s the link: Permission Playlist

And if you haven‘t read Permission yet, here‘s Chapter 1.

Other than that, I want to give a little direction here, that you know which songs belong to which parts of the story, since sometimes they guided me for a whole chapter, sometimes a whole song for just a short moment! Sometimes the songs describe y/n’s point of view, but sometimes Sukuna’s too!

I’ve been writing Permission for over a year, so I probably won’t remember everything, but these were the most important ones I remember! I also tried to put them into order of when they fit into their moments or chapters:

(in-depth description (-ish) under the cut)

Song 1-15 (Wicked Games - Jenny Of Oldstones)

I listened to those songs mainly when I was planning the whole story. To give me moods, themes, emotions that I want to convey. I listened to the Game Of Thrones Soundtrack a lot in general, but those songs I listed in there were the ones who inspired me the most!

Fun fact here: Mado Kara Mieru from Christopher Tin was the one which gave me the most inspiration for how Sukuna’s melody would’ve sound like.

Song 16 (Serj Tankian - Rains of Castamere)

Basically my Soundtrack for Chapter 13 and especially the throne room scene, when the new girl arrives and Sukuna invites her in.

Song 17 - 21 (Obsessed - Entitled)

Those songs guided me from the moment when Sukuna saves y/n from the curses until the end of the camping arc. I don’t recall listening to music a lot during that time of writing, cause I acquired that skill only later 🌝

Honorable mentions here:

Zandros - Obsessed was for me the moment y/n sees Sukuna standing over her after killing the curses, seeing the snow flakes crash against his body. Idk this song carried the mood for me.

Adin - Somebody Else was one of the few songs that I connected with Sukuna’s pov.

Song 22 - 23 (Crash and Burn - Breathe)

Those songs described for me the moment when they return to the shrine and long for each other, before y/n gains the courage to knock on his door in chapter 24.

Song 24 Max Richter - On The Nature Of Daylight

I don’t remember clearly, but I think I listened to this to get in a sad mood to describe y/n’s pain when Sukuna left for war and she misses him dearly.

A good song in general to get a fucking sad mood tbh.

Song 25 - 27 (The Way - Violently)

Oh those were the songs I listened to when y/n follows him into the war. Chapter 29 & 30 all the way.

Zack Hemsey - The Way was perfect to listen to when she realises, she’s close to Sukuna and the war is starting. This remix with the sirens was perfect for me to visualise how she’s running over that battlefield, dodging the bombs, fighting her way through. It’s still such an epic scenery in my head which I hope I could convey!

Jayme Deville - Right on Time kinda gave me slow motion pictures in my head, for when Sukuna approaches her during battle.

Mira - Violently is such an incredible song for me. It describes her whole journey and emotions so so good. I listened to it when I wrote the kissing scene, but it grew to be a super important song for their whole relationship, that’s why I would choose it for a rolling credit song hehe.

Song 28 - 31 (The Shadows - Take Me Back To Eden)

Those were all the songs which inspired me for the Sex Scene when Sukuna returns from war in Chapter 32.

Honorable mention here:

Sleep Token - Take Me Back To Eden just IS the moment for me when y/n notices, that Sukuna stayed in her room and he opens his eyes to her.

The lyrics

My, my, those eyes like fire

I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre

just describe the effect that Sukuna (and his gaze and eyes) have on y/n (and on me tbh) so perfectly, that I needed to add that to the rolling credit choice as well.

Song 32 - 33 (O Saki Saki - Lahu Munh Lag Gaya)

Heh! Chapter 33, the festival! I actually planned to have a dancing scene with y/n and other people from the festival, kinda Bollywood style, to impress our Lord and Saviour Sukuna! 😆

However, since that requires A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL of writing skill, I decided to leave it. The Songs still served me perfectly well to get in the mood for a cool ass festival atmosphere for a cool ass King!

Song 34 Clann - Her & the Sea

Chapter 35, when Sukuna and y/n talk on the bridge. Just that moment and atmosphere.

Song 35 - 36 (Timeout - You Thought)

Mood Songs for when y/n is gonna find out that Sukuna fucked around when he was in war. No particular moment here, but served me to get into her emotional state.

Song 37 - 41 (Ecstasy - Luscious)

Again mood songs for sex scenes after Sukuna’s confession in Chapter 36.

I think I listened to Ecstasy and All I Need by The MXXNLIGHT for the Throne Sex in Chapter 25 as well.

Song 42 Clann - She Loves The Rain

I think this one explains itself…Dancing in the rain with Sukuna in Chapter 44.

Song 43 - 44 (Fatal Attraction - Obsession)

Again mood songs for their overall relationship, that represent how knee deep y/n is in love with Sukuna.

Song 45 Mira - Thorns

Oh Mira, how I love her music. That song was published a few chapters before I was ready to write Akiko’s murder, but it described y/n’s reaction regarding Sukuna’s apathy so perfectly in Chapter 45. My heart ached so much when I listened to it the first time!

Fun fact here: The moment when Sukuna reveals that he was pushing the maids with motivation, was actually planned to be directly after Akiko’s death. I noticed in the early draft of that chapter, that it doesn’t work out and decided last minute to completely change that plan and to write that moment into the finale of the story.

Song 46 - 48 (Blood Code - Cold Blooded)

My soundtrack for y/n’s killing spree in Chapter 46 😆

Song 49 Zandros - Look What You’ve Done To Me

Mood Song for the aftermath of Sayako’s death and y/n’s feelings about coming a monster in Chapter 47

I think that‘s it. I hope you enjoy! <3

#permission #permission playlist #permission chapters #sukuna #true form sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #true form sukuna smut #fanfiction #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you

40 notes · View notes

danielfuckingricciardo · 1 year

Note

oh fun! 27 & fernando alonso?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the request!!

This is the last of the OG requests, from now all the rest will be from today! I’m sorry for the wait!

This one is very much inspired by the lyrics I’ve quoted, and also by my recent trip to London and how much I hate being so close to random strangers on the tube! I hope you enjoy it!

(Translations from Spanish to English can be found at the bottom of the fic!)

Song 27 - All The Small Things // Blink-182

Pairing - Fernando Alonso x Reader

Word Count - 1.6k

Content Warnings - Swearing, blood mention, injury mention (very minor)

Late night, come home Work sucks, I know She left me roses by the stairs Surprises let me know she cares

You knew from the start that being in a long distance relationship would never be easy, but somehow, you and Fernando managed to make it work despite all of the hardships that came with it. It wasn’t the fear of infidelity that made it hard for you, you trusted him completely, and for you, there could be no one else but him, but instead just being apart made your heart hurt.

The sun had long since set, and as you descended into the tube station you found your breathing becoming shaky as you struggled to hold back the tears that had been brewing since you had left your office.

Your day had been hell. From 8am you had found yourself inundated with emails from snarky clients, impatient supervisors and lazy co-workers. When the brief respite that is your lunch hour rolled around, you found that someone else in the office had eaten your lunch, causing you to go hungry for the rest of the day as you were far too busy to go and pick something up. And to top it all off, your boss had called you into his office before your shift had ended to let you know that you had to participate in ‘company-wide downsizing’ and lay off two of your staff.

Right now, you wanted nothing more than to collapse into the strong arms of your boyfriend, to bury your head in his neck and sob into the soft material of his shirt. But you couldn’t. He wasn’t there.

Your train arrives and you cram yourself into the tightly packed carriage, just barely finding the time to grab the handrail before it begins to move. You stumble forward and your phone slips from your hands, hitting the ground with a crack.

‘Please don’t be broken! Please don’t be broken!’ You repeat to yourself in your head as you reach down to retrieve it.

You flip your phone over to reveal a small crack in the corner of the screen. Luckily, it still works, and you unlock it and immediately search for Fernando’s contact, typing him a quick message before hitting send;

Work was fucking awful. I wish I was with you right now <3

You lock your phone and stash it away in your pocket, hoping to avoid any other possible mishaps on a day that, frankly, seemed to have been cursed by satan himself.

As the train arrives at your station, you push through the horde of commuters and jump onto the platform. You sigh deeply in relief, thankful that your head is no longer in proximity to a stranger’s sweaty armpit, and retrieve your headphones from your pocket. You jam them in your ears and grab your phone to shuffle your favourite playlist.

You press play, and the perfect song begins to blast in your ears, grounding you as you begin your walk home into the night.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you hurriedly retrieve it, hoping it was Fernando replying to your earlier message. You weren’t sure what time it was wherever he was in the world, it could be the middle of the night right now and you weren’t to receive a text until the next morning, but part of you hoped and prayed that it was him and not some stupid spam email or your shitty boss not understanding the concept of a healthy work/life balance.

A pain shoots through your thumb where you had grabbed the screen of your phone, and you notice a small splinter of glass from your broken screen buried in the sensitive skin.

“Fuck!” You say to no one in particular as you remove the splinter and bring your thumb up to your mouth to clean away the blood.

Annoyed but not deterred, you unlock your phone and see the first good thing to happen to you that day - Fernando had replied.

Oh no hermosa! I wish I was with you too. Te amo mi corazón <3 We will be together soon

You can’t help but grin like an idiot at your phone screen as you make the final turn onto your street. The only thing getting you through the long, dull days at work was the promise that the two of you would be reunited the following week. You’d actually have the chance to be a real couple, to do normal things that you rarely had the chance to do. You could vent to him about the stresses of work as you lay your head in his lap, and he’d run his fingers through your hair the way you always liked, allowing the stresses of the day to just melt away.

As you put your key in the front door, you hear Tina, the old woman who lives next door, tap on the window beside you. You jump, and she chuckles at you behind the glass.

She disappears for a moment, before emerging from her own front door, a smile playing on her lips.

“Looks like you have a secret admirer, dear. The postie brought these for you this morning, but since you weren’t in I had to sign for them.” She says, and she retrieves an ornate bouquet of deep red roses from behind the door.

You take them in your arms and open the attached note.

A rose for every day we have been apart, mi corazón. Te amo.

You fold the note in half and take a deep breath, before promptly bursting into tears.

“Are you okay, love?” Tina asks, and you nod your head.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just had a really bad day at work and I’ve been feeling terrible, but I have the best boyfriend in the world. I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve him. He’s away working and yet he still thinks about all these little things.” You say between sobs, and your neighbour wraps her arm around your shoulders.

“Is he gorgeous as well as kind? A stunner like you must have a hunky boyfriend.” She says, and you chuckle, wiping away your tears with your free hand.

“This was us on holiday in Cancun back in December, does he pass the Tina test?” You ask, showing her the photo of the two of you on the beach you had set as your Lock Screen following the trip.

“Crikey! He’s gorgeous. A bit older, I didn’t expect that, but good on you. Does he live with you? I haven’t seen him about.” Tina asks.

“No, no he doesn’t. He travels a lot, for work, so I only get to see him when our schedules align. I hate it, I wish I could be with him all the time but… it’s hard.” You say, and Tina gives you a sympathetic smile.

“He travels a lot, you say, does this job pay a lot?” She asks, and you chuckle. Oh, if only she knew.

“You could say that, yeah.” You say, and Tina gives you a confused look.

“Then why haven’t you given up your terrible job that makes you miserable to travel with him?” She asks, and you pause for a moment.

“I guess, when we first got together, I didn’t want him to think that I was just in it for the money. I wanted to keep my own life too, I didn’t just want to be his accessory.” You say, and Tina shakes her head.

“But if work makes you miserable, and being with him makes you happy, then I see only one option, love. Life’s too short to waste it doing things that make you sad.” She says, and you nod, feeling the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle fall into place.

“By the way, he doesn’t happen to have an older brother… or a single father maybe?” Tina asks, and you laugh.

“Tina! I know for a fact your husband of fifty years is sat watching TV in the front room right now!” You say, and Tina chuckles.

“It’s always good to have a back-up plan.” She says, and you shake your head at her while laughing.

“Well, you and Fernando have certainly cheered me up this evening. Thanks for signing for the flowers.” You say, and Tina steps back behind the door.

“Any time, dear.” She responds, before closing the door.

You make your way over your own front door where your key still sat in the lock, the cogs of your brain turning at a record pace as Tina’s words play over and over again in your mind.

Dumping your work things in a pile on the kitchen counter, you immediately open your email app and add your boss’ address to the top;

You wanted the downsize, then allow me to make things easier for you.

This email is my official resignation from the company, and, as per my contract, comes into place with immediate effect.

Thanks, (Y/n) (Y/l/n)

You press send and the whoosh of the notification instantly lifts a weight off of your shoulders that you were completely unaware you were carrying. You were free. After this weekend there would be no horrible boss, no crappy coworkers who steal your lunch, no germ-ridden commutes and no more emails. It would just be you, and Fernando, and the world.

Translations:

Hermosa - Beautiful

Te amo - I love you

Mi corazón- My heart (like my love or my dear)

#fernando alonso x reader #Fernando Alonso x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you

151 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs