#the original caption was a different poem (one that starts with 'i love you like a rotten dog') but i couldnt find a source for it.

[basilpaste]

& he forgives you dogs are like that so loyal dead dogs are just happy you're here Let Dead Dogs Lie, Silas Denver Melvin (from Grit)

〔You grit your teeth so hard that they shatter into fangs.〕

#in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat #isat spoilers #isat sprite edit #sprite edit #isabeau isat #of stitches in sequence #basil paints #does this actually. count as spoilers actually? eh. #NEEDED to get some good sharp smiles in there. #the original caption was a different poem (one that starts with 'i love you like a rotten dog') but i couldnt find a source for it. #i think this one works pretty well though. #grit is a poetry collection and its inherently queer. silias denver melvin is trans masculine. #the entire collection is online in pdf form for free!!! i really recommend it if you enjoy poetry!!!!! #in response to 'when you have children' is another one of my favorites from it. #SORRY. for the poetry ramble on my silly osis post.

[nutty1005]

The new and starstudded “A Dream Like A Dream”, is the starting point, not the ending point, of Xiao Zhans

Original Article: https://m.thepaper.cn/newsDetail_forward_12542131 Original Author: 程辉剧场手记 The author published this in Pengpai News and shared on his Weibo Post on 6 May 2021.

Andante Cantabile, my most beloved music by Tchaikovsky, came from his String Quartet No. 1 in D major, every time it would painfully touch my heart, poet Xi Murong also used this to caption a melancholic poem. I thought, using it to sum up Lai Shengchuan’s representative work, “A Dream Like A Dream”, would be most apt.

“A Dream Like A Dream” lasts for 8 hours, this is something rare in Chinese theaters. Using the doctor as the first person, Patient No. 5 recalled and narrated in his narration, a surreal stage arrangement, emotions, life, fate, culture and societal upheaval, bringing tears to fog up your eyes. After 9 years of continued changes in the crew, Yanghua Theater brought in a new version with actors such as Xu Qing, Feng Xianzhen, Ge Xinyi, Xiao Zhan, Yan Nan, Zhang Liang, Huang Lu, Kong Wei, etc. The new version rivaled the quality of its predecessors, but yet bestowed a new presentation and expression.

A unique city was the backdrop for its first showing and the chance fate of the characters within the play allowed us to truly understand the nature of impermanence. In the play, there was an important term called “self-exchange”, which was said to come from an ancient practice from South Asia, by “breathing” with the others, so as to gift health and happiness, and remove his pain and misfortune. “A Dream Like A Dream” was a play that spoke of the search for the meaning of life, did it also deliberately “self-exchange” with the audience then? Once we understood the concept of “self-exchange”, we could also see that it was also a request to communicate with the reserved hearts of the contemporary person.

The fates of Gu Xianglan and Patient No. 5 were the two main timelines in “A Dream Like A Dream”, and the other timelines served to supplement or trigger the former. Patient No. 5’s motive came from “searching”, Gu Xianglan’s came from “chasing”. The chaser is the key to enlightening the searcher, the searcher became the resolution for the chaser, although they had different obsessions in their lives, they both came together in the end. Gu Xianglan’s deathbed confession to Patient No. 5 was not simply just an apology in her dazed state, but also her most unforgettable, wonderful and romantic memories of love; Patient No. 5, with his concern, consideration and inquiries, was like the listener from heaven, the guiding light to aid the soul in letting go of her regrets.

The 2021 Yanghua version of “A Dream Like A Dream” maintained its previous feature of multiple actors to one role, and multiple roles to one actor. Xu Qing, Feng Xianzhen, Ge Xinyi acted as after going abroad, old age and before going abroad versions of Gu Xianglan respectively. From the “peerless beauty” socialite of the brothels in Shanghai Beach, to the Baroness of a French Ambassador, to an artist, then to a maid, a sweeper of roads and alleys, to the lonely elderly in the hospital, she went through indescribable ups and downs.

Xu Qing had acted as Gu Xianglan since the play’s debut, and in the new version, her portrayal had already been exquisitely refined, the Gu Xianglan in her prime is lovely and graceful, but yet proud and wild, sensitive and emotional, as though Gu Xianglan’s soul had fully occupied her body. In addition to the true to form portrayal of the amorous nature of Gu Xianglan, her performance was exceptionally focused on the details of the silent scenes. When she and Xiao Zhan’s Patient No. 5 gazed at each other, when teary eyes met with clear eyes; from afar it seemed like she was looking at her younger self about to go onto a journey of no return, the resigned helplessness and the restless hope looked at each other; when realizing that the lost Baron had once returned, her astonished and sharp glares of anger; when Wang Debao found the tiny loft she stayed in by chance, her stealing glances were surprised and flustered… They were all full of the character’s aura and emotional tension, and the pain took the audiences by their hearts.

Senior actress Feng Xianzhen’s portrayal of the elderly version of Gu Xianglan was quite different from the version by the previous actress Lu Yan, which allowed the audiences to experience the wonder of plays due to different characterization. Lu Yan’s version was one that remained elegant and proud despite her tribulations, there was more calm and temperance, which would make the audiences respect the tenacity of this legendary lady. Feng Xianzhen’s version was a Gu Xianglan who went to France from Shanghai, and back to Shanghai from France, twice she found freedom and twice she fell. The cruelty of fate had ripped away all of the pretentiousness, the charm of her past had been lost, she was like every ordinary person. She would scheme cigarettes from strangers, curse as she liked with phrases such as “bastard”, “no good-doers in Taiwan”, mock those relatives who came to look after her as those who came for their inheritance. She fully portrayed the effects of her unfortunate life and her bitterness at the world, which made the audiences sigh in sadness.

Facing these two powerful actresses in portraying the same role, Ge Xinyi as the young Gu Xianglan, had a lot of pressure. Her performance was more inclined to a lonely beauty, the purity despite her circumstances, so as to provide a solid motive for the Baron and Wang Debao’s unrestrained infatuation. As a newcomer to the theater, her steady control was not an easy task, and should be praised for it. If she would be more open, layered and flavorful in her portrayal, the characterization would be better. After all, Gu Xianglan was the top courtesan within the midst of love and affairs, and the quiet and calm of a learned lady would be quite different from that.

Patient No. 5 was a journeyman of life. In the beginning, he suffered painful setbacks from the death of his child and the loss of his wife, and started a self-exiled wanderlust. His marriage came by mistake, almost like a replacement for his wife’s frustrating relationship. Fate caused him to lose his spirit, but he was unwilling to give up, hence he wanted to search for his wife, as though he wanted to search for himself. His encounter with Jiang Hong, was the wanderers’ sympathy for each other and to rely on each other. Only when he walked into the French castle and saw the tranquil and woeful eyes of Gu Xianglan, he seemed to see himself at the far coast of the lake, the cumulative rage and sorrow in both their hearts, their collective unwillingness to concede suddenly exploded, and he decisively dropped everything to find the lady in the painting. He did not know what question was ignited then, but he started his search for the dream of life.

In terms of the control of this character, Xiao Zhan and Yan Nan definitely put in a lot of efforts, they were highly immersive. What was even more rare was that, although their performances had different focuses, but they were both very united in terms of aura, body language, speech, pace and habitual actions, as though the two actors in the same stage were truly one character. For such a complete creation, you need not only tacit understanding.

Xiao Zhan’s performance exceeded my expectations. Despite it being his debut in a play, his performance was not even the least bit disjointed, and he was even able to merge his own personality characteristics with the role itself. His actions, pace and emotions gave a smooth interplay between tension and relaxation. The portrayal of innocent, naive, youthful, kind and fragile Patient No. 5, his unpreparedness in matters of love, was especially suitable as a youth who just joined society. It made the random encounter in the cinemas as the prelude of love more believable, and also gave a firm foundation to his actions later on, the multiple setbacks in later on, his wanderings, and his endless searching. With his wife and Jiang Hong, he had different relationships, the former was a budding first love, the latter came from empathy, Xiao Zhan had slightly different portrayal for the different phases of space and time, the cycle from simple to confusion, from searching to questioning, there was careful understanding and detailed handling. After discovering Gu Xianglan’s tracks, the clear longing that Xiao Zhan gave off collided with the layered longing from Xu Qing after her tribulations, was like the undercurrents under a calm lake, it drew in the rousing emotions, and became the strong force that pushed the story forward.

Xiao Zhan has the ability and the reason to achieve much better results in future theater stages. With time, if he could become even more at ease with the control of his body, if he could be even more accurate during the changes of character condition, I trust that he could achieve another breakthrough, and create even more challenging characters.

Reprising Patient No. 5 after many years, Yan Nan was obviously even more in-depth with his understanding of the script and character, and gifted the character a melancholy aura similar to those of an ancient poet, the quiet tones and deep glances became the key feature. The sense of accumulation of the vicissitudes, merged with Xiao Zhan’s portrayal, realized the continuation of the character’s fate. His performance on the hospital bed contrasted with Gu Xianglan on her hospital bed in a different time, and manifested Patient No. 5’s enlightenment after his miles of wandering, the person on the bed is awake, but those not were instead still dreaming. His calmness held the strings of every timeline together.

Zhang Liang’s portrayal of the Baron was the surprise of the show. If the old version’s Baron and Gu Xianglan was like the contest between eagle and the wild pigeon, the huge difference in power created the tragedy that made the audiences sad. The 2021 Yanghua version’s Baron and Gu Xianglan was like a pair of heavenly cranes, but they sang different notes as they flew to each other, and became a pair of lovebirds who hurt each other as they fell. The Baron became more romantic, more gentle and loving, but he remained prideful as he was still a noble beneath that amicable exterior, this was Zhang Liang’s new expression to the character, this also elevated Gu Xianglan’s difficulty in her choice, and even more so contrasted Gu Xianglan’s “evil” in her woeful revenge, and also left a branching point to the remaining love. His love for Gu Xianglan was true, it was not possession, but he loved the Oriental beauty, the caged Gu Xianglan, not the wild and free Gu Xianglan. Letting go and abandoning was his hopelessness for his lover, he felt that Gu Xianglan was letting herself go, she was betraying and depraving her beauty, he felt that his efforts were painfully wasted, it was not an attack on an escaped prey. This kind of portrayal made us wonder – love, was it to love a person, or was it to love an ideal? Love was to give or to receive? Was the ultimate goal of giving receiving?

The tragedy between Baron and Gu Xianglan became a tragedy of conflict between culture, social status and ideals. The difference between Baron and Gu Xianglan, did not merely exist on levels of culture and artistic ideals, but it was down to different life goals due to different cultural influences. It was hard for Baron to understand that his love only moved Gu Xianglan from a smaller cage to another bigger cage, even if he loved her deeply; Gu Xianglan who struggled for survival in a twisted environment, simply wanted to escape her cage, even if it meant poverty. This type of tragedy could not simply be explained with the character’s personality. The energy from repeated characterization is evident.

Huang Lu as Jiang Hong was a character that was rather difficult to grasp in “A Dream Like A Dream”. In her portrayal, Jiang Hong was an ordinary girl, who went through multiple troubles but was always chosen, besides her strong sense of survival, I almost could not see more personality. I remembered that I had brief flashes of a parallel universe while cooking eggs one morning, that was the state that she could not find herself or her position in life. She claimed herself as “the original Jiang Hong was dead, the Jiang Hong who arrived in Paris never existed” wanderer, her “relationship” with Patient No. 5 was merely a chance encounter in life, both of them were scared and questioning whether they should “fall into another relationship”. Huang Lu’s performance was very restrained, controlled, and tried hard to make herself not stand out, to do it to this extent was quite difficult. When she was talking about her stowaway escape, there was a point for emotional explosion, but yet she had to control it within the fine line between “surviving the calamity” and “unable to calm herself”. For this actress who was nominated multiple times for international awards and also won a national acting award, this was a rare stage experience.

Kong Wei, who just took off her costume in “Thunder Rain”, portrayed Shi Li Hong, the Mama-san of “Fairy Court”, in “A Dream Like A Dream”. Scheming and cunning in worldly matters, but yet she maintained her own sense of righteousness with Gu Xianglan and her sisters, fleshed out the character with even more emotions. Especially when the drunk professor professed his love for her, her teasing and forced calmness was mixed with surprise and shyness, as every emotion came at the same time, she managed them with ease, not only was the set brightly colored, there was also the sudden exposure of the character’s personality. Wang Peiyu who acted as the young Wang Debao, also showed the character’s clumsiness and stubbornness, his portrayal of passionate love was on point, which was just as brilliant.

There were many characters in “A Dream Like A Dream”, the group’s shared brilliance could not be forgotten, many actors who acted as multiple roles displayed exceeding energy. This came down to the Yanghua creativity production team, lead by Art Director Wang Keran, who had astute senses in actor selection as well as careful detailing in every part of the creation.

Luo Yongjuan, who portrayed a puppet in “Jewish City” and Li Zonglei, who had many important roles in many dramas and plays, both portrayed over 10 characters, and outstandingly completed the character creation for all of these different roles. Ruan Li, who portrayed the cousin, the dancer, the child, etc, also contributed multiple talents. Wang Weiqian, who portrayed Aunt Jin, the tourist, etc; Sun Zhongyi, who portrayed the professor, the old servant, etc, they all left deep impressions.

To display the characters but not to display themselves, this was the forefront of all theater actors, this was done by Xu Qing and Xiao Zhan, Zhang Liang and other stars, this was the respect they gave the play, the stage, the audience and themselves.

When the first kissing scene appeared for Xiao Zhan, part of the audiences were controlled but there were still some excessive “fan” reactions, but this did not interrupt his performance pace, this reminded me that Xu Qing and Hu Ge version also had the same situation many years ago. We could see that the actors were immersed, they prepared mental homework for every segment and detail, this was the hard work and the goal of both the production and the actors. Putting in efforts into acting and solely seeking the effects of celebrity, these are two totally different things after all.

When rehearsing or refreshing old classic plays, most of the time, methods such as subversion, recreation or simple replay were used. 2021 Yanghua’s version of “A Dream Like A Dream” is a case of production relying on the new cast to continuously discover deeper understandings, to recreate, and then to give audience a new icing on the cake while ensuring the quality of the play.

I was interviewed after the debut showing and said that this play was the Xiao Zhan’s starting point and not his ending point, and I also hoped that more capable actors would come to the theater stage, focus on the creation of art, and from that we could forge our own generation of quality “full celebrities”, such as Jin Shan, Shi Hui, Bai Yang, Zhang Ruifang, Shu Xiuwen, Laurence Olivier, Marlon Brando, Vivien Leigh, etc, of China. On the international theatrical stage, this is just commonplace.

#xiao zhan #sean xiao #xiaozhan #肖战

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

[capevans3000]

The proposal

Summary: Chris had planned a very special date for you for a very special occasion. 

Warning: Just fluff stuff Note: Hope you guys enjoy this piece! Feedback and comments are always appreciated! <3 If you have the time, you can check out my Masterlist too! Thank you!

(Photo not mine!)

If Chris had been acting strangely for the past few weeks, you wouldn’t have noticed. As normal as he looked to the public, he was actually pretty eccentric, and you loved that about him.

On Friday morning as you left for work, Chris planted a kiss on your lips and reminded you of the date you were having with him that night. No matter how busy each of you were, there will always be planned dates. It was an agreement right from the beginning of your relationship that you two would always make time for each other. Of course, Chris was much busier than you, but being the perfect boyfriend he was, he never missed any dates. On top of the regular planned dates, you also look forward to impromptu dates or any pockets of time that you can spend with him, no matter how long or short.

“Yes, I remember. I’ll see you tonight.” You smiled and kissed him back.

Work was crazy but you would always light up when you receive texts from Chris telling you how much he missed you, and how was rooting for you. His motivation was what kept you going. When it was finally time to knock off work, you stretched your body and let out a silent yawn. You looked at your watch and although you were tired, you were excited for your date with Chris.

As you stepped out of your office building, you noticed that Chris’ car was waiting at the lobby. He didn’t mention that he was picking you up and you were under the impression that he was picking Dodger up from his sister. The original plan was to meet him directly at his house.

“What are you doing here, Chris? Where’s Dodger?” You approached Chris and hugged him.

“Well, I want to see you earlier, so here I am. And Dodger is still with my sister. He didn’t want to come home with me.” Chris chuckled. You nodded your head and followed him into the car.

Back at home, you took a quick shower and walked into the dining room to join Chris for dinner. When you stepped into the dining room, you were surprised to see that the table was empty. “Are we not dining here tonight?” You asked Chris.

“I thought we would have dinner someplace else.” Chris took out a piece of fabric and loosely tied it around your head to cover your eyes.

“What’s this for?” You laughed. You still hadn’t suspected anything because Chris was always full of antics like that and you had to keep up. Chris didn’t say anything but he picked up your hand and led you on a walk. It was a short walk and you knew you were still inside his home.

“Are you ready?” You heard Chris asked. You nodded your head and Chris untied the fabric. As the fabric fell, you opened your eyes and what greeted you rendered you a gasp.

In front of you was the most beautiful fort you had ever seen before. You didn’t know this, but Chris had spent the whole afternoon setting up this fort fashioned out of bedsheets and blankets. In front of the fort was a small opening and you could see throw pillows in them, making the fort look so warm and cozy.

“Chris!” You gasped.

“Let’s go in!” Chris laughed and led you into the fort.

When you stepped into the fort, you gasped again. The ceiling of the fort was decorated with fairy lights that lit up the entire fort, giving it a warm glow. When you sat down on one of the many throw pillows and looked up at them, they looked like stars.

“This is amazing!”

“I’m glad you like it.” Chris smiled. “I hope you’re hungry. I made you dinner.”

“You cooked? Someone’s really pulling all the stops, huh.” You teased.

Chris laughed and brandished two plates from the corner of the fort and placed it on a portable tray table between you and him. “I cooked you your favourite spaghetti.”

You looked at Chris and smiled warmly. “What’s the special occasion? Everything feels so romantic tonight.”

“Every date with you is a special occasion.” Chris laughed again. “Besides, I have always been a romantic guy.”

That part was true. Chris was every bit the romantic guy he always said he was. You have been with him for a long time, but even until now, you never got sick of his romances because they were always different.

“I think, I can make this dinner even more special. How about a movie?” Chris quipped.

Chris went and set up a portable screen in the fort so that it looked like a cinema. Through the projector The Little Mermaid started to play.

“Nice! I love Disney themed dinners.” You clapped your hands together in excitement. While the movie played, you and Chris dug into the spaghetti. The atmosphere was perfect. It felt as though you and Chris were out camping somewhere with the stars serenading you from above.

After dinner, you sank back down on the throw pillows and sighed with happiness. You loved every bit of this dinner date. Again, Chris had managed to make a simple dinner date a special one. You laid on Chris’ shoulders while the movie credits started to roll.

 Just when the movie came to a close, you heard someone knocked on the door. You looked at Chris quizzically. It was already pretty late at night.

You followed Chris to the door and he opened it. A delivery guy stood outside the door with a package.

“Ms Y/L/N?”

“Yeah, this is she.” You said and stepped forward to receive the parcel. You signed on the delivery form and came back into the house.

“I wonder what this is? I don’t remember ordering anything from online.”  

“Open it! Maybe it’s a present?” Chris asked, slightly more excited than necessary.

Back in the fort, you carefully opened the package and took out an A4 sized box. The box was beautifully decorated with ribbons. You gingerly opened the box to reveal a leather scrapbook. There was nothing on the cover of the scrapbook that could give you any idea what it could contain.

You placed everything down on the floor and plopped the scrapbook on your lap. You opened it and the first thing you saw made you tear almost immediately. It was the first picture that you have ever taken with Chris.

“Chris.”

Chris smiled and urged you to continue flipping the pages. As you flipped through the pages, you saw how Chris had chronicled all of the moments you have had with him since you met him. It was like taking a trip down memory road. You couldn’t contain your tears and you furiously wiped them away so they don’t fall and damage the photos. Beside every photo, Chris had even added captions. Some were funny, some were romantic, some were cheesy and some were just outright silly. When you got the last photo, your tears were already falling like crazy. The last page simply had the words “To be continued…” printed on it.

“Chris. This- this is perfect.” You cried. You were very touched that he went to all these trouble to make you this scrapbook despite how busy he was. You could tell it was meticulously made and definitely made with love.

“This is just another part of this date that I have planned for you.”

“There’s more?” You asked between your sobs.

 Chris smiled but didn’t say anything. He picked up the projector remote and clicked play.

Immediately the screen sprang alive. You turned and looked. More tears started to fall down your cheeks. You were watching a video collage of your family members, friends, colleagues, Chris’ family and friends, all greeting you and telling you how special you were to everyone of them.You were amazed that Chris had managed to contact all these people to record a video for you, which he had pieced so nicely together.

You didn’t realized that Chris had slipped away momentarily as the video collage was playing. At the end of the video, Chris and Dodger appeared on the screen. Chris sat in front of the camera and told you just how special you were to him. He was so earnest, so real and he was full of emotions. Your heart skipped a beat as he spoke. You were legitimately sobbing by then.

When the video ended, your eyes were red but your heart was full. You turned to find Chris, but instead, you saw Dodger at the entrance of the fort instead.

“Dodger!” You called and Dodger came running towards you. You noticed that he was wearing a shiny new collar. You hadn’t had the chance to look closer when Chris walked in. You could tell he was nervous. From behind his back, he took out a bouquet of your favourite flowers and handed it to you. You took it.

“Chris…”

“Did you notice Dodger’s new collar? Why don’t you look at the tag?”

You bent down and patted Dodger on his head and gently nudged the collar so you could see the tag clearly. What you saw, however, was not a tag, but a ring. The ring glistened under the fairy lights.

Before you could say anything, Chris knelt down on one knee and unsnapped the ring from Dodger. He looked up at you with the ring on his hand.

“Y/N,” He began. “Ever since you came into my life, my life had never been the same. You have made me realized that love is not just something we read in books and poems because you have made love real. You have made love a real thing that I never fully understood until you were in my life. Thank you for loving me for who I fully am. Thank you for embracing every of my weaknesses and scars, my fears and even my annoying habits. Please give me the chance to use the rest of my life to love you, take care of you, provide for you and be there with you even beyond the end of time. I love you so much.” Chris was crying too by then. “Will you marry me?”

You looked at Chris but your vision was blurred with your tears. Your heart was thumping so loudly with love for this man.

“Yes, of course I will marry you, Chris. A million times yes.”

Chris cried tears of happiness. His heart had swelled hearing the most beautiful word, “Yes”. He stood up and pushed the ring into your finger. “Thank you for making my life complete, Y/N. I love you.”

“I love you too, Chris.” Tears fell from both of your faces as you embraced tightly, the fairy lights still fluttering like stars above, the scrapbook containing memories you both shared laid at the side, support and love from friends and families lingered in the background, and Dodger nestled between you and Chris. The moment was perfect.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans proposing #marriage proposal #chris evans fluff #Chris evans marriage proposal #Chris evans x reader proposal #Chris evans imagines

[queerism1969]

The L Word Generation Q: ''There's only one thing that cuts across all our realities, It's love. The bridge between all our differences''

I just watched the first 2 episodes and I feel so happy. I am feeling like a teenager, watching the show on mute with the captions on, every Sunday at 11pm on school nights. Feeling scared and happy at the same time. Waiting the whole week just for that one hour of television where I could watch women like me. We did exist! I was not the only one!

I think the choices they made with the old characters are great. I think this new show is very smart and it keeps the essence of the first seasons of the original one. I am very happy with this transition.

I really want this show to succeed. I want to know more about the old characters, I want cameos. But also, I want to know more about the new characters. I am very excited and enjoyed the hell out of these episodes.

Yeah, the show is silly sometimes but it doesn't take itself too seriously, and shouldn't we. This show was and still is groundbreaking, its tone varies but the message is very clear.

I am very glad Jennifer, Leisha, and Kate did this. And I am so happy that they are the producers and have a lot of creative power. They can't let Ilene Chaiken ruin this again.

Watch it. I was not going to do it because of the reviews and that is so stupid. Just give it an opportunity.

I love this cast, they have great chemistry.

This show is not about fixing the mistakes made in the past. They can't resurrect Dana and, they actually did a great job with the Jenny situation....one line was more than enough to end that mess.

I hope to get a lot more seasons. Why the LGBTQ+ community hates the LGBTQ+ community so much?

Like for real. I don't get why anyone can be pissed at this show. Just don't watch it if you don't like it but you can't say it's not a great deal for our community and for us, lesbians.

Lesbian, from Lesbos. The origin of the L-word is beautiful. Read about Sappho, read her poems. We should be proud of it and we should celebrate it.

We need more shows like this. Visibility is our best ally, don't forget that.

Bette used to be a badass but now? She's like a superwoman! And the cast is on point, with strong chemistries, beautiful and smart women. Okay, I'm going to stop now before the feminist in me starts (:

#bette porter #the l word #the l word generation q #kate moennig #shane mccutcheon #jennifer beals #lgbt #lgbt history #lgbt rights #gaypride #lesbian #sapphic #wlw community #wlw #gay girls #women loving women #queer #lgbtq #girlswholikegirls #girls who like girls

[matthewbernard]

RIP Sean Lock

Something that you might not know about me is that I love British panel shows. At this point, my YouTube feed is at least ¼ clips and episodes of British panels shows. This morning there was a collection of Sean Lock clips posted by Channel 4 (found here), and at the end, a caption of memorium for him. I audibly gasped as I sat by myself in my room, staring at the telly (as the Brits would call it.) “That can’t be right,” I said.

I hoped that it was a bit, one cooked up by his friends and fellow comedians/panelists. A sick joke, mind you, but my denial was searching for a better explanation than the truth, which was revealed after a quick Google search: Sean had passed away a few days ago after a short struggle with lung cancer.

My first exposure to British panel shows was a clip I came across of Joe Wilkinson reciting a poem he wrote entitled, “Hanging about in a Train Station Toilet Naming People's Penises.” If you want, you can watch it here, it starts about a minute and a half in. If you do watch it, one of the things I want you to notice is how hard everyone else is laughing. This is what drew me to want to find out more about the show this clip was from. What sort of show could have a room full of comedians, people who study humor and are often difficult to make laugh, laughing so hard.

As it turns out, much of it is available for free on YouTube, and so I dove head first into it. Starting first with Cats does Countdown, then the Original 8 Out of 10 Cats, and then into other shows like Taskmaster and Hypothetical. The thing that ultimately made it so engaging was the recurring cast of “characters” that you find from show to show and the history between them that ends up being a story of sorts that carries through. These relationships and history between them become part of the gag.

One of the greatest is between Sean Lock and Jon Richardson, both team captains first for 8 Out of 10 Cats, and then for 8 Out of 10 Cats does Countdown. To see these two riff back and forth between each other is magic, and will have you laughing so hard that tears will most certainly be in your eyes, as they often are for Jimmy Carr, the host of these shows. If you watched the first clip, then you saw their first head to head match of Carrot in a Box. You can find their rematch here, and if you watch that, then you can get a small idea of the comedy gold these two could make together.

Sean didn’t need Jon in order to be funny, however. Quite the opposite. Sean was always funny on his own. This sort of random genius that people often aspire to, but few lack the actually timing and delivery to pull it off. You remember that I mentioned I was drawn to the show because of how much the others were laughing from Joe’s poem; Sean could make the whole room laugh so hard that they were begging for him to stop talking so they could catch their breath. He wouldn’t though. He would keep the gag going to its conclusion, which would be some place you couldn’t possibly have predicted, but it still made sense.

When you have depression and anxiety, you have days where you don’t feel like laughing. Days where you need to get outside of your own head. Over the years I’ve had different things that have helped me through these days or portions of my life that the struggle was more than I could handle alone. 8 Out of 10 Cats does Countdown was one of those things, and Sean Lock was a big part of why that was the case. I will always be grateful for the times that he made me smile on days that I didn’t feel much like smiling. My thoughts are with his family during this difficult time. May he rest in peace.

#sean lock #8 out of 10 cats does countdown

[hiduprakyat]

Hello folks!

This is Daisy, your local weirdo.

Just kidding. Kind of. I suppose I need to address something.

Tumblr is such a wonderful place for the LGBTQ+ community, you know, and me, being a bisexual girl from an incredibly homophobic country, it's a kind of comfort. But sometimes we forget that reality is, in fact, disappointing. I guess Thanos was right.

This is Dewan Siswa, a magazine for secondary school students in Malaysia. It's a great magazine! Don't get me wrong! Revision notes for PT3 and SPM, really good articles, poems and sample essays. It's great.

But!!! (Suppose you saw that coming) We got our March's issue today, and the theme was about identity. The first article's great. It takes about mental health, and stuff, which was great, and made me feel real noticed. Not that it's that great a thing but still. Second article's called

KEMBALILAH KE PANGKAL JALAN

Which means "Get Back onto the Right Track". Hey, guess what's it about? Drugs? Smoking? Sex? Ha. No.

It starts with this:

"Not too long ago, our country was stunned by the courage of a man who dressed in a woman's clothes during Umrah. Before that, this famous entrepreneur had claimed that he was a woman even though he had no official documents to prove it. ..."

The hell? But okay. Read on.

"The LGBT community in Malaysia is no longer a secret and is a hot topic in conversation. They are like an outbreak of cancer. This community can destroy family institutions which will cause many social, religious, cultural, psychological, ethical, and moral problems. In a society, one who does not follow the rules of the society will be gotten rid of."

WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING FUCK?

Cancer??? Are you even hearing yourself???

"As of late, this unhealthy issue is gradually spreading amongst teenagers."

I - holy shit I can't even.

And then there's a two page rant on "scientific reasons why people are gay".

What the fuck.

"Parents, educators, people with power, and the community must practice and be concerned about solving this issue, ... They [the LGBT community] must receive support both psychologically and spiritually. The society's habit of labelling, testing, condemning, scorning, and insulting this unorthodox community causes them to not find ways to find medication and cure themselves."

Of my God. I don't even know where to start.

Firstly, "issue"? There is no issue. We're not trying to make you one of us, stop interfering with our lives. Secondly, "golongan songsang"? I know I translated it into "unorthodox community", but "songsang" means something more like "inverse", or just, bad. Seriously? Thirdly, there's nothing to "cure". I'm not ill! Why do I need to be medicated, "cured"?

"According to a former transgender person who has now gotten back on the right track, Mohd Khairiri Mohamad Ramli, better known and Cikgu Erin (Teacher Erin), society plays a big role in helping the LGBT community to return to the more normal society. ... Don't look down on them [the LGBT community] and remain silent with the excuse that the problem is not their business. It is our duty to put a stop to this issue that is spreading quickly."

WHAT THE FUCK.

It is none of your business, and you shouldn't try to "cure" us. I don't see the point of this paragraph considering that this whole dang article was looking down on the LGBTQ+ community. Also, "FORMER TRANSGENDER PERSON"??? WHAT???

The first insert: a pill bottle with a rainbow flowing out, tiny people sitting on pills.

Captions: "Those involved in the LGBT community must be medicated so that they can change and return to their original nature."

Second insert: a person covering their face

Captions: "People in this community who is aware must be guided so that they will no longer be involved in unorthodox activities."

I -

WHAT. WHY.

There's nothing wrong with us! Do people realise that the 21st century, did not, in fact, invent homosexuality? The Greeks, who lived before Christ, were gay as fuck. In ancient China, gay men were actually allowed to get married. Quietly. There was an emperor who was bi and chopped off his sleeve so that he wouldn't wake his lover. That's a story for another day. John, Lord Hervey, Queen Caroline's favourite, was bi. He probably even had an affair with Frederick, the Prince of Wales, but that is also a story for another day. Emily Dickinson was lesbian. Oscar Wilde was either gay or bi. We're any of these people ill, or crazy, or in need of "curing"? (Except that Emily Dickinson probably had depression and that doesn't count)

Please stop this. Just because some people's preferences are different from yours didn't mean they're less valid, or God forbid, wrong. There's nothing wrong with homosexuality, and there's nothing to "cure"!

For people living in countries where same sex marriages are legal and generally accepted, please don't look down on or condemn someone who's afraid to come out. This could be happening where they're from.

Thank you for reading!

Love y'all!

#lgbt #pride #homophobia #lgbt community #this needs to stop #shout out to all the malaysians who are offened by this bs #daisy rants

[ahopefuldoubt]

Anonymous had asked: Did you know that the 1st song that appears in the Bible is the Song of Moses & Miriam, also known as Song of the Sea? It's in Exodus 15. I believe Ashira Ladonai comes from it?

Yes~!  And you’re right: The filmmakers used parts of the Song of the Sea for the version that’s in The Prince of Egypt.  (I’m assuming this is what you mean by “Ashira Ladonai”?  …I’ve only ever seen it called Mi Chamocha.)

Mi Chamocha is one of the things I adamantly love about “When You Believe.”  For the longest time I was only familiar with the Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston duet, and while I like that version (it has kind of a nostalgic hold on me, and there are also some beautiful covers out there), I think the song in the movie is better by far — visually, musically, emotionally.  It hits all the right notes (eyyy).  They made the best decision when they included Mi Chamocha.  So powerful.

[ETA] I forgot to mention the reprise at the end!  Mi Chamocha, plus those trumpets and Miriam’s tambourine ♥  Pure love, can’t go wrong.  It’s so joyous.  (The link is to the instrumental/nonvocal piece, and it starts at 4:45 minutes.  Also, why is this not on the soundtrack?)

I tried to reference the Song of the Sea in this edit, um whose caption I since changed because I didn’t think I did a good job referencing the original text :x  Anyway, it’s based on the verse, “the floods stood straight like a wall” (from the JPS translation I have).

Question and reply are originally from 2017.

[2019 notes] Damn, so much has changed since this Ask.  A few verses of the song are in our liturgy.  I’ve actually come to associate Mi Chamocha more with services — getting to sing it every week, albeit to a different tune than the one in the film, is really special — but it still always reminds me of The Prince of Egypt.  This post captures the feeling (“Yes, this is a Jewish story.”)

And, the Song of the Sea is also called Miriam’s Song (I wish I’d mentioned this in 2017, in the above post; I can’t remember why I didn’t...).

Regarding this ancient poem, I’ve seen different traditions, which I don’t regard as being in competition with each other (I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive).

These include:

attributing the whole song to Miriam, because the genre/style is a kind sung traditionally by women (but Moses is credited with the song in order to center his/the male perspective);

calling it a call-and-response: Miriam’s shorter segment is the prompt for the song, and in the text its order was flipped (see above parenthetic).

describing Miriam’s verses as a spontaneous, heartfelt prayer, reflecting her emotions upon witnessing Gd’s miracles.

#the prince of egypt #mi chamocha #miriam's song #miriam #my stuff #my writing #yeah me queue

[vocalfriespod]

Basque-ing in the European Sun Transcript

Carrie Gillon  Hi and welcome to the Vocal Fries Podcast, the podcast about linguistic discrimination.

Megan Figueroa   I'm Megan Figueroa.

Carrie Gillon   And I'm Carrie Gillon. And we have a little bit of housekeeping to do, so, once again, we have a Patreon now, and last month, our new patrons?

Megan Figueroa   Yeah.

Carrie Gillon   We'd like to thank you individually, so I'm not sure if people want me to use their last names, but I think... so in December, when I first picked it up. I didn't say originally that we were going to thank people individually and so I wasn't sure, but this time I said it, so hopefully okay if I use full names. Please let me know if that's not the case.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah,

Carrie Gillon   I apologize, but so Alyssa Crowley thank you. Talk the Talk another podcast about linguistics.

Megan Figueroa   Aw.

Carrie Gillon   I know. So if you guys are interested in lingpods, that's what I like to call them. That's another one that you should check out.

Megan Figueroa   Hashtag lingpod. Is that a hashtag?

Carrie Gillon   It should be. You know what? Let's start it.

Megan Figueroa   Okay.

Carrie Gillon   I'm just assuming it doesn't

Megan Figueroa   it seems like it would be some sort of creature that would be under the sea.

Carrie Gillon   then Ben Whedon Thank you also, and Chris Hengler, all the way from Hamburg

Megan Figueroa   Oh!

Carrie Gillon   Yes, and also, a former professor of mine from Toronto: Elizabeth Cowper. So thank you very much.

Megan Figueroa   Oh, that's so nice. I don't see any any professors of mine. I'm just kidding.

Carrie Gillon   Hmmm.

Megan Figueroa   That's funny.

Carrie Gillon   Oh, and related to the Patreon we have a new bonus episode. Where Tito Rios, my former colleague read one of his poems. So you get an extra poem.

Megan Figueroa   from the poet laureate of Arizona. And it's awesome because it's a poem that is actually at the port of entry at Nogales Sonara and Nogales Arizona so it's very cool. Y'all should really get on the Patreon if you want to hear all these cool bonus epis.

Carrie Gillon   Oh, dear. Think that makes you the Shoshana of this podcast. So before we really begin. I also want to apologize for my voice right now. I don't know if you can tell. But I it sounds much deeper to me. Because yesterday we went to a housewarming party, which was lovely, but it was very loud. So to talk over the music, means I'm a little a little hoarse,

Megan Figueroa   a little introverted voice got a little tired

Carrie Gillon   I'm not as introverted as I used to be.

Megan Figueroa   Wait, did you see Hamilton yesterday?

Carrie Gillon   Yeah, we saw that in the afternoon. By the way, it does live up to the hype. Yeah, I was a little worried because, I mean, there's a lot of times where things don't live up to the hype to me. So like Wonder Woman, I was like, eh. But this definitely I was like, no deserves every accolade it's ever gotten.

Megan Figueroa   Well, another one that you actually agree lived up to the hype. was Black Panther.

Carrie Gillon   also amazing.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah, I am still thinking about it. I love princess Shuri and I love everything that I'm seeing on Twitter. All the fan art and the STEM the science technology. And what is the STEM sound for?

Carrie Gillon   you're almost there. Science, technology, engineering and math.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah, that's like I always say that I'm like really into STEM, but do I know what ie means? Yeah,.

Carrie Gillon   Well, now there's also STEAM, which adds the arts, which.

Megan Figueroa   Yes, I love the arts. It should always be in there. Do we really have math without art? I don't think so.

Carrie Gillon   I mean, there's math that- Yeah, I guess it always is kind of art already at some level, but you don't know until you see it visualized some way I guess. Or like unless you're a really good mathematician. You can't see but yeah, so I really and also Black Panther involves the arts as well. Like, oh my god, that costuming.

Megan Figueroa   Oh my god. I know.

Carrie Gillon   One of the outfits was like this onesie, sort of or a jumpsuit. And I was like, I wish I could wear that

Megan Figueroa   right?

Carrie Gillon   I'm too practical, though. You can't pee in it.

Megan Figueroa   I mean, you you could.

Carrie Gillon   Yeah, exactly.

Megan Figueroa   So also related to Black Panther. But it's no fault of Black Panther, Nyle DiMarco, the very handsome deaf model that is an advocate for the deaf community. And for ASL I would say right, he was tweeting about how he went to see Black Panther. But the captioning was just so horrible. It was skipping lines, like he had to leave. So it's one of those things where I realized that I have a privilege that I wasn't thinking about.

Carrie Gillon   Yeah, and I think to be clear, it was a technological issue. So it wasn't on the main screen. He had like some kind of technical some piece of tech.

Megan Figueroa   Right.

Carrie Gillon   He's stuck into the chair in front of him, I guess. I don't know.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah.

Carrie Gillon   And that was not functioning very well. So I mean, the captioning still could have been missing lines if it had been on the screen. But it was the piece of technology was not working fully. I think that was part of the problem. But you're right, we have of course, we have this privilege of being able to hear lines and I one of the times that I really noticed that actually it wasn't about being deaf or hard of hearing, but something that's related. So me having a privilege was watching movies with someone who was a second language learner of English. And he really strongly preferred having the captions on the subtitles on because he could get more of the English that way. And it hadn't occurred to me that, of course, that would be helpful, for someone like that. So it was a similar kind of thing. So he's advocating, I think, for, like, actual captions on the main screen. Yeah, and I think, you know, bare minimum Why don't have just have some special screenings with that like once a day, at least? I don't know.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah, he wrote something for Teen Vogue. So let's, let's, let's link to that when we have the link for this is episode.

Carrie Gillon   Yeah. Gotta make sure we have that.

Megan Figueroa   So let's, let's all examine our privilege. And also go see Black Panther. And enjoy that. Everyone's beautiful in it. Just, it's eye candy, the entire movie. And I don't mean if I just the people. I mean, like it's such a beautiful movie.

Carrie Gillon   Mm hmm. It really is. Oh, yeah. And there's also a one one language thing one language related thing to talk about with Black Panther and that's the use of Xhosa, I dunno, that's not how you pronounce it. But it's a language that's actually spoken in South Africa so some people some people don't like that because it's Wakanda is in the central part of Africa. And so people some people were complaining about that but I'm like, well, it's a fictional country so they can have whatever language they want and it's kind of nice to hear that language being spoken

Megan Figueroa   yeah alright so today we are talking to Itxaso RODRÍGUEZ-ORDÓÑEZ about Basque, which again, another week where Megan learns everything that she does not know. It's getting kind of embarrassing Carrie.

Carrie Gillon   Well, I mean, you had a lot less to learn about Chicano English than I did.

Megan Figueroa   I really appreciate that bone you just threw me. Alright, should we get into it?

Carrie Gillon   Yes, let's get into it.

Megan Figueroa   We're very excited to welcome Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordonez. She is an assistant professor of Spanish and linguistics at Southern Illinois University Carbondale. She received her PhD in Hispanic linguistics at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign in 2016. Her research focuses on context situations, she incorporates linguistic attitudes and ideologies to explain contact and language change. Most of her work pertains to the best Spanish context situation. Spain more recently, she has also focused on contact effects, and the linguistic landscapes of Spanish and English in Pilsen, Chicago. Welcome, Itxaso.

Itxaso   thank you so much. It's so nice to be here.

Carrie Gillon   Hi. So I guess we'll just begin with Basque because I'm assuming many of our listeners do not know what Basque even is.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah.

Itxaso   Yeah. So first of all, I would like to say that I'm very excited to be here, especially to talk about one of my mother tongues with which I identify very, very closely. So talking about Basque for me is always excitement and pleasure. So what is Basque? Well, bus is an isolate language, it is spoken in the north of Spain and south of France. And the reason why it's considered an isolate is because we still don't know whether it belong to any other families. Meaning that we don't have evidence that there is any genetic relationship with other languages in the world. So they've done lots of research about, oh, why is Basque so different from other languages in Europe, is it actually connected to Hungarian, which is also different in many ways? And the answer is no. So for now, we actually doesn't know necessarily where we come from. Well, that's what people seem to say, others suggest were actually one of the first settlers of Europe, obviously, this kind of hypothesis has had a huge impact on how people identify as well, whether they claim themselves to be from there, how authentic we are, how old we are, how much we belong there, and stuff like that. So that's what Basque is, and Basque is spoken by about 700,000 people. And this is spoken both on the Spanish side and on the French side, although there are more speakers on the Spanish side, because it's, it's a little bit bigger, the territory is a little bit bigger, but Basque was spoken a bigger territory that was spoken right now. So it has been shrinking and shrinking throughout the centuries. So one of the interesting characteristics about Basque that make it different, maybe per se, with other European languages has to do with the word order. So we tend to say, if I want to say that I saw somebody right when I say I, somebody saw, so we'll put the verb at the very end. And this has been something that Basque people try to over-exoticize as something unique about languages. But then when we look at different languages in the world, we notice that this word order pattern is actually more common than we think, so the Basque people said, Oh, so we are not as unique as we thought. Okay,

Megan Figueroa   so I'm hearing that there's like a lot of pride with speaking Basque.

Itxaso   Absolutely. So it's actually so I grew up speaking Basque at home, and also Spanish. It's actually  a way of identifying yourself as an authentic member of the community. So and obviously, this is something that was going on, the fact that we need to maintain the language, one of the oldest languages in Europe, this is a big belief within the Basque community, that we have been able to maintain our language and our culture, even if we have been invaded by many, many people. And oftentimes, we talk about this invasion, that also speaks to the current political situation. And obviously, this is my side of the story. This is not the only side of the Basque story but there is a huge pride especially in terms of wanting to maintain the language, wanting to continue. This is a big part of our culture, this idea continuation, of generation to generation transmission is something that definitely takes a big load on on our identity as authentic members of the community and also wanting to maintain that history. We don't want to be defied, we want to be there and one of the stereotypes and obviously it's a stereotype that the Basque people are stubborn. So and this is something that in first works about descriptions that we have about Basque people, one of the main descriptions is that they are so stubborn that they're not willing to give up their language. My question is Who, who would want to give up their language, right?

Megan Figueroa   Right.

Itxaso   So it's not a matter of stubborn, it's a matter of wanting to keep yourself alive. And Basque people do take pride in that aspect, in the fact that we're still we're still there, and we're still wanting to be there.

Carrie Gillon   So what is the political background of let's say, Spain, like how how is Basque situated within the Spanish speaking country of Spain.

Itxaso   Right. So the context between Basque and Spanish is as long as the Spanish ever existed because Basque was already there, even before the Latin Julius Caesar, his friends came into the Basque territory. So going back into a little bit of more recent political situation. So I will start a little bit with, I would say, ever since the border between Spain and France was created along the Pyrenees, that it is not necessarily the first diversification of the Basque country. But he was actually one of the most important ones, the fact that Spain and France became two different countries, the Basque became politically very divided in that respect, there was this the boundary in terms of nation states. So going look at looking at it more from a more recent perspective, so Basque has been spoken there for a long time. And obviously, the contact with French and Spanish has also influenced the way those varieties have evolved. Right? So we do have a lot of Spanish words we do makes a lot the sounds even the sound so if you are in the Spanish side of the Basque country, you know, that you're in the Spanish size uh Spanish side, because some of the sounds of very similar to Spanish and when you're in the French area it is the same, there is a lot of French sounding sounds. But there's still some of the sounds are unique to the Basque language as well, so then we can just Spanish side so we had the Spanish Civil War broke out in 1936. And this had a huge impact on on the Basque population. Because the town of Guernica, the very famous town of Guernica, that was a cultural center for for Basque, the Basque parliament was there and was bombed in 1937. And then after the dictatorship, sorry, after the civil war, the dictatorship lasted for 40 years up to 1975 until the dictator Franco died. So the language was prohibited. So you couldn't speak the language otherwise you could be taken to jail or you could be killed. And that's what happened to many Basque poets writers that still wrote in Basque. Obviously there was a huge loss of Basque speakers during that time because just started to be not spoken or transmitted, although is in some areas of the Basque country right now, the dialects also died out before then but in this respect the dictatorship did have a huge impact on but on maintaining the language. And this is where I was born. And this is where my sister was born. And we spoke Basque at home. My parents would only speak to us in Basque. But they were to speak to us the standard variety. So supposedly, I am a native speaker of the standard Basque. But right now I have to admit that I don't speak standard Basque fluidly. I can read and write in standard Basque, but I cannot fluently speak it. There is always some influence of my regional dialect, because Guernica did have a variety there before the standardization of Basque. So this is just a little bit of the background. I mean, I think I could go on or on, but yeah,

Megan Figueroa   That was perfect. Thank you. Is anyone here monolingual in Basque.

Itxaso   Actually not that we know of. So maybe there are a couple or a handful of speakers in very isolated areas. But it's very, very, very hard to find a monolingual speaker of Basque. And even if they say that they're monolingual, they probably understand some Spanish or French so I do have friends that have told me that Oh, my goodness, my grandma. She doesn't speak a word of Spanish. This is in the Navarre mountains in a very isolated area. And I say, are you sure she doesn't know any Spanish? I will. She doesn't speak a word she would never respond to do the Spanish. And I asked her Do you think she understands? And she says, Well, I don't know. Maybe she pretends to understand it, right. So it could be that there are a handful of speakers, but he would not be possible to navigate the area if you've done the other language as well. Although there are areas in which past is spoken almost by everybody. And he has a huge impact right there some zones in which are considered more my bilingual than others. And this has to do with the regions where boss was already spoken. Before this summarization those areas maintain quite high degree of bilingualism with the Spanish or with French, but in a more urban area, even if bad has the presence of us has increased compared to other regions is other regions is spoken by less less people. Absolutely. So I never met one only one speaker best I love to eat there any but I doubt that if there is any, there will be a remote area. I wonder if this hypothetical grandma who says she doesn't speak any Spanish? Is it because of pride?

Megan Figueroa   Is there a tension between Basque and Spanish.

Itxaso   Yes? Oh, absolutely. There is there is tension between the Spanish and Basque or at least, historically, there has been some tension between the Spanish and the Basque. Also, there's tension within different varieties of Basque or different types of speakers of Basque. So it could be that this hypothetical grandma  is hostile for all the war that she probably had to endure the fact that she probably had family members killed, she probably had to fight for her survival. So this is also a way to show that she's not ready to submit herself to such a horrendous cultural genocide, right? So it could be contributing to her pride. It could be contributing to who she is now because of the historical events in her life. Right? Yeah,

Carrie Gillon   Yeah. Can I ask a question about so the situation of Basque in France versus the situation of Basque in Spain? Is there a difference? Is this the same?

Itxaso   Right. Yes, there's some similarities and some differences. The major difference is that Basque is not official with French. So the French constitution only takes French as the official language of the state, French is the language of France, right. And that has had an impact because in the French Basque Country, language shift has been more has gone more rapidly, meaning that more and more speakers have shifted to the dominant language in French a lot faster than they did in the Spanish area. However, recently, or relatively recently at least in the last decade, France has allowed, or has given permission to be able to, to teach these regional languages. And not only the Basque country, but in other areas, as long as their French is not been affected meaning that they need to show that they're also fluent French speakers. So there is also a consortium of ikastola. So ikastola is the Basque word for Basque school, it means the place of learning. And there are lots of ikastolas in the French Basque country as well as the Spanish Basque country in which kids these immersion programs in which kids can go and can speak and learn Basque if they don't learn it at home, or to be able to be literate in Basque and then there is also something that they call Seaska, which is also a high school in the in the French Basque country. And this is located in the Baiona area, which is the capital of the French Basque country and the biggest city there is about 40,000 people, right. And there are lots of kids that go there and learn fast. But like in the United States, the immersion program, in which everything is being taught in Basque, and also they do have French as a subject so that they're also literate in French is starts to die out. Meaning that later on French is more dominant, even in the studies, right. But today, they're highly bilingual there are lots of people that are highly bilingual, but you can still see that French is the dominant language as well in the French Basque Country. Interestingly enough, I have, I have also done research on identity issues, language maintenance, language contact in both sides of the border. So one of the things that I noticed when I was there in the French Basque country in the Baiona area is that john people, there is a huge movement of young people wanting to maintain their language, right, they speak it, they celebrate it, there are lots of activism, there are radio stations, right, it's a way to put consciousness to the speakers. And obviously, there's also a mixture between French and Basque. And one of the things that I did notice there, as opposed to the Spanish side, is that everybody was able to speak Basque. Not everybody, but a large body of the speakers who can speak Basque fluently, or semi-fluently or whatever that means, they actually make a huge effort, right? This is different from other urban areas in the Spanish side of the Basque country, in the sense that in Bilbao young people, especially if you're younger than 25, or even 30, it's very likely that you learned Basque in school through immersion programs. But then that language is not been transmitted to the streets. So this is something that we call reversal language shift. Whereas before this standardization Basque was the language of the home, now for many urban areas in the Spanish Basque Country, Basque is the language of the schooling and then they would go home and there would speak Spanish, maybe because their parents don't speak Spanish. So there is alternative change in how Basque can be used and how it's been submitted. That has an impact on the transmission, and as I said, the vitality of the language. so I even interviewed a young Basque French speakers and who actually wanted to go study abroad in the Basque country. this is actually hilarious, because they're, they're going to study abroad in their own Basque-speaking territory. But it's  broad because the countries the borders divide us, right? And he was telling me how disappointed he was when he was studying in Bilbao for a year. That one of the reasons why he wanted to go there is because he wanted to have education in Basque, he studied engineering, and he wanted to be able to study engineering in Basque. And when he was there, he said, Yes, all classes were in Basque. But he was surprised to find out that there are lots of young people of his age that they actually use more Spanish in their daily life interactions. And he was very disappointed and sad to see that. So one of the questions is, why do we see these divergent patterns? Right. And I would say that one of the reasons that I have in mind is that I feel that in the French Basque country, they probably feel more oppressed because their language, the Basque language doesn't have at least any it's recognized as existing, but it's not necessarily being guaranteed by the government, meaning that they have to work really hard to be able to have it in the schools. Whereas in the Spanish side of the Basque country is is given to us, the government has worked really hard for us to be able to have access, so we kind of assume that we're going to have that access too, right. Obviously, there are other factors the country, but I would say that, that that is probably a big issue or a big potential explanation for that. Yeah.

Carrie Gillon   That's fascinating.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah. And then the the French situation sounds very similar to the situation in Spanish in the US to me.

Itxaso   Yes. Yeah. So yeah, it has some similarities and some differences, too, right? So in terms of the similarities is that the French Basque country, so the government does not necessarily support the schools, right? So they have to work hard for it. It's the same in the United States too, in the sense that these all these languages are not English, if they want to maintain them, then they have the families have to work really hard. The school system has to, there is a bottom up approach in the sense that this society gets involved with how they could provide these linguistic resources for the kids like literacy so that they can maintain the language. So in that respect, is very, very similar, right?

Megan Figueroa   Yes.

Itxaso   Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Carrie Gillon   So are Basque speakers discriminated against in either Spain or France?

Itxaso   oh, yeah, well, we can start even with the Constitution itself, right? And obviously, I don't think everybody would agree with me with what I'm saying right now. But so one of the beliefs is that Oh, yes, Basque now, it's been acknowledged by the Spanish government because Article 2 of the Constitution says that Basque is also co-official with Spanish, so Article 2 says that every Spaniard has the duty to know Spanish. But then Article 2.1 says that other is Spanish languages. So for instance, Galician in Galicia, Catalan in Catalonia, or Basque in the Basque country have the right to be able to use it, right. So in that respect, these these regional languages are considered lower in our state me that you also need to know Spanish, but not the other way around. So when you go to Madrid, and if I want to, I want to have kids and I moved to Madrid with my partner, I can't ensure that my kids are going to maintain the language, right. So in that respect, the Spanish constitution does not protect me as a Basque speaker or as a citizen of Spain. So in that respect, I do feel that there is a huge gap there. Yes, we have come a long way, but we still have a long way to go. So also in terms of nationalism. So there is there is some oftentimes a belief that they only nationalist regions are the ones that speak another language other than in Spanish, but there is also Spanish nationalism, right? And this also has to do with power issues in the sense that nobody questions that knowledge of Spanish, but everybody keeps asking us about why do you speak Basque? And they said, Well, why do you speak Spanish? Right? So then other types of discrimination also have to do with politics. So language and politics has been very entrenched in the Basque country and in Spain. So when terrorism in the Basque country and in Spain was at its peak by ETA terrorist group, or yeah, so oftentimes, when these people were being convicted, they had the right to have a hearing or a trial that was in Basque but that right was not given to them, right. So there is stuff we do have some issues of language discrimination. And obviously, acts of terrorism, one of the most punishable crimes in Spain. And language has had an impact in how those people are also being treated. There was also a law passed in the 90s, and this is when the peak of terrorism was there, in which Basque so some members of ETA would be taken to jail farther away from their families in the Basque country. And when families would go and visit them. Many were Spanish speakers only but many also were Basque speakers. And the language of the home was always Basque. So many Basque families would go and visit their relatives for prison. And the Spanish policeman would not allow them to speak Basque so that they could I know what they're talking about. So I do have Yeah, it was. So my dad is a schoolteacher, and he's about to retire in, actually, next week.

Carrie Gillon   Yay! Congratulations to your dad.

Itxaso   And so he taught Basque, even if he was not a native speaker of Basque he was a Basque teacher in a small school where Basque is spoken by 95% of the population there. And he had a student as a kid, because he taught primary school and he had a student that she was born in jail, because both of her parents were taken to jail prison for certain acts that they have they committed or whatever. And so she grew up with a grandma, and oftentimes she would go visit her parents. And there were moments in which she said, I'd rather go back home, than speak in Spanish to my parents.

Carrie Gillon   Wow.

Itxaso   So a sentence, they would go visit them to the other side of Spain in Andalusia and say, well, and that's a 12 hour drive. So let's go back because I can't communicate in a language. It's a foreign language to us, right? Doesn't mean that we hated Spanish, but it's the language of law, and we are being not allowed to use it. So there has been issues of discrimination at that level. Absolutely.

Carrie Gillon   That reminds me just very recently, there was a man who speaks Hawaiian and English because, of course, everyone else speaks English in Hawaii. But he spoke, he speaks both Hawaiian and English. And he is one of the official languages of Hawaii is Hawaiian, and he tried to use Hawaiian in the courtroom, and the judge just refused to, like, let him use this language. And anyway, the whole situation was very upsetting, because if it's an official language, you should be able to have a trial in your own language. That's how I feel it's a Canadian, where that is the law.

Itxaso   Absolutely. The way I this Spanish law would respond to that would say, oh, but Basque is not an official languages of Madrid, and these, these acts were being convicted in Audiencia Nacional or with the Supreme Court in Madrid, right. But still, you do have the right to have a translator, right. If that is the case. Right. You should have the right to express yourself in any language that you feel comfortable with. Because you're being convicted, right?

Megan Figueroa   Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

Carrie Gillon   Yeah, if there's any time when you should have your right to your language is definitely in a trial because the heavy hammer of the of the law, right, you need to be protected.

Itxaso   Absolutely. And I have examples myself, I mean, oftentimes, I have to admit that I take a lot of pride in my Basque language. And as a sociolinguist, I also played with power dynamics a lot. So when I go to Madrid, maybe for you know, a layover, but I fly back to Chicago or something like that. Sometimes, they look at my passport, and they're like, obviously, they look at my last name, I'm just like, Oh, Rodriguez. You know, she's Spanish, Spanish passport. But then they look at my name. And my name is written with a 'tx' which is also very symbolic of the Basque language and they're like, Oh, so do you are Basque, and then make comments and sometimes I'm like, yeah, that should not be a surprise, right? Why is it that I have to know more about you than you know about me. So now, every time I have a layover in Madrid, I speak in English to everybody and you know, they think I'm American because my accent they cannot notice my foreign right I speak more fluent English they they think that I am American and then when I show my password they say, "but you're a Spaniard! Why do you speak to us in English?" And I said, "why not? I feel more comfortable in English than speaking in Spanish." "But you're a Spaniard!" I said, "I'm not a Spaniard right? I didn't pick my citizenship." And, you know, well, I use English because this is an international airport. So at the same time, I'm trying to give a lesson. And here I'm too idealistic of what it means to speak an imperial language. So yeah, I am using another imperial language to show what it feels like to be posed a language. I don't think my sociolinguistic lessons in the airport work that well.

Carrie Gillon   Probably not. But it's worth a shot.

Itxaso   But hopefully they go home and think about this weird girl. I mean, I don't know, but it makes me feel better about myself, though.

Megan Figueroa   Would you actually say, is it true that your English is better you feel your English is better than your Spanish?

Itxaso   Absolutely not.

Megan Figueroa   No? Okay. Okay. That's a lie. Alright alright.

Itxaso   Well, I would say I would say that I mean, in order to talk about certain topics I feel better speaking in English. So if I have to talk about linguistic issues, I think my English is the stronger in that respect. I had to think harder to find vocabulary, the Spanish and so it's better in that respect, I do think.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah.

Itxaso   And I also have sometimes I forget words in Spanish as well. And then I'm thinking "Am I losing my Spanish" or but then it activates very quickly, but it is not uncommon to have to forget certain words.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah, so that's definitely something multilingual people worry about. Right? Is Am I losing x? Or am I losing? Yeah, it's part of your identity, right?

Itxaso   Yes.

Megan Figueroa   It's so I wonder how do you identify when you when you think of all the languages you speak.

I feel Basque. I feel very Basque. However, I feel very conflicted, because I don't use Basque very often because I don't have anybody around me to speak it with. So at the same time, I have to admit that I have developed an identity of an English speaker too, right. Also because my most immediate loving person is an English speaker right. So I speak English with my partner and but at the same time I feel very Basque and the more farther away and the longer I remain in this country in the United States I feel more Basque actually and I'm just starting to realize that I'm becoming part of our diaspora myself, which is something that it's it's very common after you leave home for a long time, right. Although I still have strong ties with my homeland, right, but and then those issues of discrimination also transcend into the host country. So interestingly enough so my father My father still feels very discriminated against in the hometown that I grew up in. For instance, he he is the result of big migration of monolingual Spanish speaker from Spain into the Basque country that happened in the 60s so my grandfather moved to the Basque country to Bilbao to the big city of Bilbao for work and my my my dad was 10 years old so when he moved there and then he learned Basque. He learned standard Basque and then he mored with my mom to this small town Guernica that has a large population of Spanish migrants but at the same time very very Basque-rooted culture and a regional dialect so oftentimes they will comment on his Basque that people would say "oh it's interesting to see a Spaniard speak Basque, right, but at the same time your Basque is different for us, you didn't learn at home you are not one of us" right

Carrie Gillon   Yeah.

Megan Figueroa   So I remember interviewing my father and asking him "you lived in the Basque century for longer that you have lived in Spain or monolingual Spain" and say "do you feel bad?" and he would respond to me he said "it doesn't matter how I feel because everybody has made me feel as an outsider."

Carrie Gillon   Yeah

Itxaso   And that was very tough to hear because my parents did everything they could. First they have been big proponents of revitalization of the Basque  language they have played a huge role people like them and there are lots of people that praise them for that and by my dad he still doesn't feel like he belongs there mainly because of his ethnicity or because the variety he speaks and then I asked him "how do you how do you compensate for that or what have you done Have you hard Have you tried hard" and he said "oh absolutely" so for him being Basque is what we in sociolinguists call doing Basque because identity is a constant process of working forwardness. We are constantly practicing our identities, whether they're conscious or unconscious, I my dad has had a huge has been very conscious about it he always wanted to construct his Basqueness through different practices. So for instance, he, he goes to lots of Basque ritualistic events, he engages, he volunteers for teaching Basque to immigrants, other immigrants he also engages in there is a cycling club and cycling also has a strong connection with the Basque entity. So he's invested in capturing kids to sports, to the sports that are connected with the Basque country and mountains and those kinds of things.

Megan Figueroa   It's It's so hard to hear, just because I mean, it's all the same, right? So linguistic discrimination across the world, I'm like, oh, what's happening in the Basque country is what's happening in the US for for people that don't speak English. Or who want to keep their mother tongue?

Itxaso   Their mother? Yeah, absolutely. And we see that these patterns of discrimination, there's a lot of similarities. And in fact, it has to do with issues of power. But how those power relations are being established, obviously, has the consequences come from the historical events as well. Right. So how is it that Basque speakers are being discriminated against within the Basque country? Because that also happens, right? So in my own research, I'm able to show so one of the questions that I seek to ask is, so the revitalization of the Basque language has been considered one of the most successful ones in Europe. Why, because we went from only speaking, only few speakers would speak it. But after the standardization of Basque and the co-officiality with Spanish and the implementation of Basque in school, would you say that young people 90% of the young population and by young with mean 30 or 35 years old or younger, can actually speak Basque. They're competent speakers of Basque and Spanish. Obviously, there are varying degrees, but they have gone to school immersion programs in Basque and the government has done huge work on being able for Basque people to have those resources, but they use of Basque has remained quite stable, there has been some gains, meaning that maybe we had an increase of 5% or 10%. And obviously, these vary in terms of region. So one of the questions that I seek to ask in my research is that why is that the use of Basque remains low compared to the case so there are many bilinguals or all the gains in in bilingual speakers that we have been able to obtain. And one of the answers that we have, it has to do with identity. So many business, many speakers who learn Basque from early on they speak they learned the Basque the standard Basque variety in school, they start as early as three years old. So, but they don't consider themselves native speakers of the language, even if they are very, very fluent they still consider themselves non-native speakers, and, because of the ideologies or the mother tongue ideology, they also believe that they're not authentic enough, because they haven't learned it at home. So that's one of the issues that that is happening right now. And also, how is it that contact with Spanish and the contact features of grammatical aspects they incorporate in the Spanish contributes to their lack of authenticity, or actual authenticity, and here, it's very interesting because we see a pattern in which if you spoke if you learned a regional variety of Basque, and you use Spanish words, it's okay, because you are considered an authentic member of society of the Basque speaking community, because it's implied that you have learned the language at home, although it's not necessarily the case, right? But it implies that oftentimes, but what happens when somebody who speaks the standard Basque actually uses a Spanish word in it, or code-switches, meaning that they change, they say, a sentence in Spanish, and then another one in Basque, it actually contributes to their lack of authenticity. So many of the people that I interview they asked me, "Why is it that I'm not allowed to mix languages, when all those people who are very authentic are able to do it", and they're very aware that if they want to mix the language, which is common when you're learning a language, you should do it with the regional variety. So actually, one of the things that it's been suggested by other sociolinguists in the Basque country, is that, we should promote varieties in the classroom as well. So that these speakers have access to data authenticity. Yeah, so hopefully, that will pan out. But but we will see,

Carrie Gillon   I mean that makes total sense to me.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything that you want our listeners to take away from this about Basque? Let me tell you what I took away I am I just had no idea that people would refer to themselves as Basque like, I knew the Basque language existed, I didn't think about it as an ethnicity I just didn't think didn't think!

Itxaso   Yes. And if they just did that, because one one last thing I would like to say is that we have different labels for different types of Basque. So for instance, we called euskalu zaharra, which means old speaker of Basque, but that has nothing to do with age. That means that you, you, you probably learned the language at home, you probably speak a variety, a regional variety, old speaker of Basque means pre-standardization, right whereas euskalu berriaren, which means, euskalu means Basque, berriaren means new, which means that you are a new Basque, right? And you probably speak the standard, right? So you are from a different era, and now we're starting sociolinguists are starting to say, should we use this term? How racial is it, even if it's about language, it also brings into question issues of ethnicity and linguistic properties, right? And authenticity. So that this also happens in in in the United States and everywhere, right? with Spanish, what does it mean to be Spanish? What does it mean to be Latino, what it means to be Chicano, what does it mean to be other/American, right, and these kinds of diversifications that are obviously socially constructed, we do have that in the Basque country too. Yeah, I do feel very Basque. And I have to admit that I I wouldn't say that I take pride in it? Maybe some people will say, "Oh, my God, you're so stubborn." And I say "well, when your identity is being questioned all the time, you could be stubborn."

Carrie Gillon   There's the pull quote.

Megan Figueroa   Yeah, exactly. That's true. I'm sure there are a lot of people I feel exactly as you do about that.

Itxaso   Yeah. Why do I have to explain myself ALL the time?

Megan Figueroa   Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on and speaking with us. It was great.

Carrie Gillon   Thank you so much.

Itxaso   This was super exciting.

Carrie Gillon   And as we always say, don't be an asshole.

Megan Figueroa   Don't be an asshole. Bye!

Carrie Gillon   Bye!

Itxaso   Agur! Agur! That's the word for goodbye in Basque: agur!

CARRIE: The Vocal Fries Podcast is produced by Chris Ayers for Halftone Audio. Music by Nick Granum. You can find us on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @vocalfriespod. You can email us at [email protected].  

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

#Basque #basque country #linguistic discrimination #sociolinguistics #spanish #french #spanish basque country #french basque country #euskara #transcript

[goldentailedmermaids]

creator tag meme

rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2018. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by @jediknightrey​ Thanks hon’ 😉😘 

WRITING

Salvation: my romance novel! The work I hope one day to desperately send to an agent. Getting past the second chapter was hard but I am glad that I overcame it and in the end, I fell in love with my characters as I wrote them. True I wish it had more fans, but one day I hope it will. I mean, Ide and Roland own my heart and their epilogue is far from the end of them and I mean... I wrote Ide mainly to talk about depression and it was so far excruciating.

That secret project: which is actually a Medusa retelling I started writing as I read the Penelopiad. I love Atwood’s writing. It is so simple and yet intricately beautiful. There is no describing it and I wish to achieve such elegant simplicity. So far I only have fragments but one day perhaps I’ll have a whole novel. It is made of numerous scenes and poems and even if writing sonnets is hard, I’ll keep doing it because I owe Shakespeare and Ronsard that much. I am very passionate about that project but so far I want no one to see it but a few friends.

Breathe me: A fluffy piece I wrote for the Let’s be Danes challenge. Probably the most challenging one shot for me yet, but still good. I am proud of one passage in particular and I really tried to give Erik some epic in his misadventures.

Welcome home: A Sihtric x Ealhswith one-shot I wrote simply because I needed fluff and it turned out great and I loved their little banter and although it was a challenge in itself, I am proud of what I wrote.

Daughters of chaos: more like this year’s updates. This story’s shaping up nicely and I got a few more ideas for characters and some storylines are so epic I can’t wait to write them down. I’ll bring back some female characters of courese, and I decided to write only from the point of view of the women because screw Hirst, that’s why! I am thinking about bringing Yidu back, taking Gunnhild (tho I don’t know how yet) and keep Magrethe, have a bit more of Judith and a lot of Blaeja. Also, Thorunn may become more important in relation to Kattegat’s struggle to gain influence thoughout the whole of Sacndinavia. Anyway, I only wrote 1% so far but its scale will rise high.

ART

This year’s inktober series: was GREAT! I mean, I didn’t finish it which is... meh, but I am so happy about how well all the pieces were received. I loved exploring mythology this year and I love these new brushes I tried on. I am especially proud of the Medusa, Circe, Saint Odila, Medea and Mermaids ones. I loved toying with smoke this year.

This spiderverse fanart: I mean... It was SO WELL RECEIVED!!!! I wanted to try out something different (a bit more raw and paintish) and it go SO MANY NOTES AND REBLOGSI gushed a lot over it! I mean.... Thank you SO MUCH!!!!! Also I ADORED the Spiderverse and y’all should WATCH IT!!!!

That Mahiu bride piece: to which I attached a caption in the language I made up for Mahakaiao’s story which... takes me back lmao. I loved toying with the dress and everything and I was so happy with the way it was received!

Every single doodle I did in my moleskine notebook: I really got a grip on such notebooks this year and now I can barely function without one. It feels so good doodling, scribbling, chapter-planning and writing everything down I think I’ll do that forever which is fine by me.

Those kinky pieces: which I did with brush pen and an old sketchbook. I love drawing boobs. I love drawing lace and stuff and I love kinky stuff. I guess I mainly love boobs and I mostly love drawing and sharing it which is near impossible now thanks to tumblr’s new policies. But still, I love drawing boobs.

EDITS

Female awesome meme: Which I am close to finishing but I have narrowed down because I am that lazy. I tried making this as diverse as possible and I love every single woman there! I am so proud of SO MANY of the edits I did!!!! Some of them are my best works so far. I especially love the Villanueva ones, the Lucifer ones and the mcu ones. A lot of those are in my Best of, btw.

Those mermaids gifs: Hell yeah! I giffed this year and it was mostly animation (and mainly mermaids) because my photoshop won’t sharpen gifs. Yet I am so happy at how those gifs turned out and how pastel I managed to get them. I am so pleased peaople liked it!

The Vikings women meme: because the women in Vikings deserve THAT much and because I had the idea for the meme and had to do it and because I miss SO MANY of these women. I am especially proud of the queen ones, and the daughters ones (because I am a salty bitch lol).

Every mbs I did for mermaydsnet: but especially the pale and modern pieces because I nailed the colors and those are AWESOME!!!!!

That edit I did for Kenzo: which is an attempt at doing pale and soft things and the result outdid my expectations as I get to watch it without cringing and I am actually very proud at how I got it to be pale and yet vibrant and I loved it!

Basically, I did so many awesome things this year it almost feels like I have been productive lol.

I tag: @ceridwenofwales​ @sifshoney​ @undomielle​ @lahnister​ and @leejordan​

#tag game #meme #thanks for tagging me! #personal #ceciliesfamily #ninasfamily #sabrinasfamily

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 3 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 3 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down.

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome back to The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So episode one released and I was very happy with how people responded to it. I got a lot of messages saying how raw the experience was, or how happy they were to have the chance to listen to a queer experience. Usually it was from queer people, but sometimes it wasn’t! 

Though responses were positive for the most part, the podcast did get some negative attention too. Ignoring all the stuff that wasn’t constructive, there were two main criticisms of the show. The first was actually surrounding its premise. People were concerned that it was unethical to put something that was deleted back onto the internet. Even if it wasn’t deleted, isn’t it essentially stealing to use it in a podcast like this? Ok, so I understand the concerns and I guess I wasn’t clear enough to begin with. I received permission from the original author of the material to use it any way I’d like. Probably something I should have said originally, and I’m sorry that I didn’t. As for whether or not I’m just copying someone else’s work, I believe that The Black Box Readings count as a transformative work, and therefore it’s protected under fair use. There’s more than enough “Me” in this podcast that it’s really become something more than just the original “text”. 

The other problem some people had with the podcast was that Emmy didn’t seem like a trans girl at all to them, and they felt like I was grasping at straws in my explanations pointing out trans aspects. Well, I do understand that there isn’t anything that outright says Emmy is trans within her posts in the first two episodes. But what you have to remember is that I actually knew her, and even though it’s sort of a spoiler for this episode, she did come out as trans on her blog. Look, I’m trying to present the posts I chose in chronological order to make a coherent narrative. Even so, it felt too weird to hide Emmy’s identity until this episode, when that’s largely the reason I’m doing this podcast in the first place. 

So with all that aside, I’d like to get into the episode proper! Today’s episode is largely a feel-good one. It’s got a lot of positive energy, and focuses on the budding relationship between Emmy and EmeraldSkies. In case you don’t remember, the two of them met playing Overwatch and became fast friends. At this point, Emmy has been posting about their interactions on her blog, and it’s official now that Emmy has a crush. *laughs* it was really cute to watch her navigate through her feelings, but I didn’t want this episode to be… you know, two hours long, so I’ve come up with a few posts that best illustrate an already-established connection. To start us off, here’s one entitled:

“I Told Her

I know I talk about her a lot, but -”

Oh, *Laugh* I guess it happened again. She used EmeraldSkies real name, and I’m really not comfortable saying it in the podcast for privacy reasons. Let’s see, given that EmeraldSkies is Latina, let’s go with Selena, like our favorite wizard from Waverly Place. *laughs*

“I know I talk about her a lot, but Selena is just so cool! I’m sorry if it’s getting annoying to anyone, but I’m not going to hide how I feel either. This is my Tumblr, after all, I can post what I want. Anyway, today I finally told her I was deaf, and that’s the reason we don’t do voice chat. She understood completely, and told me that voice chat wasn’t something she liked doing in the first place. Ahhh, She’s so cool! I’m lucky to have her in my life! I was so scared that she’d see me as weird or broken or something, that’s the usual reaction I get anyhow. But not with her! I’m so happy right now!

Selena has been continuing to share her poetry with me, it’s really good! I feel so at home reading it. It’s such a personal look into her soul, I’m glad she doesn’t feel too vulnerable letting me read it. It’s especially helpful that it’s a medium I can fully understand. Honestly, I sometimes feel a little lost when watching tv, even with captions on. It’s sort of an incomplete experience, you know?”

I find the sort of “sorry, not sorry” attitude Emmy has here to be a big step up from previous ones. She exudes a bit of confidence here, not caring if people unfollow her because she’s talking about a crush. It’s nice to see Selena bring that out in Emmy. It’s also really heartwarming that Emmy didn’t receive the usual reaction she says she gets when telling people about her disability. Selena seems like a very accepting and kind person, and I think Emmy deserves that in her life. Also, I want to point out that Selena is averse to using voice chat. There’s a reason for that, and you’ll probably be able to guess it by the end of the episode.

Also, Selena is an amateur poet! I feel I should point that out, because it’s immediately relevant in our next post, which is Emmy talking about a poem that Selena wrote especially for her. 

We don’t get the poem itself, just Emmy’s interpretation of it, which does give us a fair bit of insight on to what the poem might have been like.

The post is called: “She wrote a poem for me??

I’m so excited you guys, you have no idea! Selena wrote me a poem! And I’m swept off my feet by it. She says it was nothing, but I don’t think so! She called it “Flowers Down by the Lake” and it’s beautiful! Like, I don’t want to read into it too hard, but I think this means she likes me back?? And not just because it’s a poem that she wrote for me, but because of what’s IN the poem, guys!

It’s about two flowers that are more beautiful not in spite of how they’ve been damaged, but because of it. And how they’re both really different, but they’re even more beautiful because they’re side by side. So. Fucking. Romantic! I love this poem, it gives me so many feels. 

Maybe there’s something to this whole ‘fate’ thing after all”

Before getting into the meat of this post, I’d like to touch on the last line. This is where Emmy first publicly posts about the idea of fate starting to appeal to her, though I imagine that she has been playing around with the idea of it for a while now. I’m not personally sure I believe in fate myself, so *sigh* I’m not entirely sure why this seems so important to me? So, I like to look at the universe as truly random, and because of that, two people finding each other amongst that randomness is the most beautiful thing imaginable. So whether it was just the randomness of the Overwatch matchmaking system, or fate itself that brought these two together, I think that’s something really special. 

Anyways, I’ve never gotten the chance to actually read this poem, but it sounds pretty spectacular. The message that Emmy sees is one that we can all take to heart. All of you are beautiful in your own way, and it’s in part because of what you’ve been through. You’ve been shaped by your hardships in a way that makes you more of a person, and the people around you that are enriching to your lives help you to “bloom”, so to speak. 

Although I am partial to getting all sappy with you folks, we do have an episode to get through, and so we’ll be moving on to our next post. 

And what a post it will be! This is for sure the most important post in this episode, perhaps the most important one so far. I alluded to it in the beginning of the episode, and I’m really excited to finally share it with you all. I can’t hype it up enough, but I am certainly trying *laughs*. It’s called:

“I Have Something To Tell You

I don’t want to waste any time, so I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m a trans girl! If you don’t know what I mean, it’s kind of hard to explain, but I’ll try to. 

“Trans” is short for transgender, which means that I don’t identify with my birth sex as my gender. So I was born a boy, but I feel like a girl on the inside. Gender is just different than sex. Period. It’s complicated, I know, since we use similar words to talk about them, but it’s true. 

Growing up, I didn’t have a lot of interactions with kids my age, because I was homeschooled. A lot of interactions were through reading books. I found myself enthralled with stories about girls, but less interested in stories about boys. When I did read stories about boys, I’d latch onto female secondary characters and see the world through them. Some examples of female characters I saw myself as are: Clary from Mortal Instruments, Katniss from Hunger Games, and even Hermione from Harry Potter. 

When it came to video games, I found myself picking female characters when given the choice. I even do it in Overwatch! I’m a Mercy main, after all.

I used to tell myself that it was because the books were just that good, or because the video game characters were cute, but I see now that was only half of the truth. It’s really because I saw myself in those characters, that’s the kind of soul I have, you know? 

There are other, more private reasons surrounding my body I won’t get into here, as well.

I guess I realized what I was feeling because, well, Selena is a trans girl too! I guess I found out when we decided to swap pictures of what we both looked like. She prefaced her’s by saying that she might look a little boyish, and that’s because she’s trans! I was happy that she felt close enough to me that she could share that, since she’s more private about this sort of thing than I’m being. I’ve never met a trans girl before, especially not in real life, so that’s why it took me so long to figure out. Plus my Dad is very “traditional”, so I’ve been conditioned to hide who I am throughout the years. I doubt he’d embrace me as his daughter with open arms, so for now, it’s a secret I’m keeping from him. If he thinks I’m going to go to hell for it, then fuck him. I don’t care what he thinks about me anymore. 

Thank you for reading to the end of this post! I hope I made sense.”

So there we have it, official word from Emmy that she is trans. Not only that, but Selena is trans too! There’s a lot to unpack here, so we should get started. She gives a good explanation of what being transgender means for her, even if it contains a few pieces of old language, like being “born a boy.” It’s generally best not to say that about someone else, fair warning. It’s good that she had that sort of “aha” moment when Selena explained what transgender means. 

For me, my Aha moment was in the form of a rather… outdated term, I think it was “Male identified lesbian.” *laughs* Ohh, well… I guess I had some suspicions about myself, and so I did some googling. And I found this term that sounded so much like me. It had a bunch of bullet points like, attracted to lesbians, identifies with women over men, stuff like that. It was actually kind of problematic, looking back because it was really steeped in men sexualizing lesbians, but it was a stepping stone for me when I was 20ish. I don’t think that website is still there all these years later

Definitely something that I did when I was younger that affirms my trans identity looking back was wearing dresses. Not an Aha moment in the slightest, though. Well not for me, but probably for my friends *laughs* When I was 14, my friends put together a murder mystery party. It was a pre-written story, and there were roles to assign to everyone. And I got assigned the mother of the victim. My friends just thought of me and said, you know what would really suit An? Playing a woman. Heh, And I rocked it, too. It helped that one of my friends brought a dress for me to borrow during the party. Though I wore it so well and was obviously so confident wearing it, that she let me keep it. I’d use that same dress to play a woman again in a play, but maybe that’s a story for another time.

Back on track, Emmy talks about playing video games as female characters being a big indicator looking back, and I really feel that one. I remember specifically choosing Talim and Tira from Soul Calibur all the time and being like, it’s obviously because they’re fast characters, and that’s just my playstyle. But naw, it largely had to do with me seeing myself a certain way. Like, I remember specifically one time I looked at my stats in Left 4 Dead, a game I played all together too much of, and noticed that I picked Zoe to play as like, 80% of the time? Like there’s 4 characters to choose from, all the same stat-wise, and I picked the girl more often than not. It sort of shook me to my core when I realized this, but I didn’t know what it really meant until a few years later.

Also, to preemptively answer any concerns about Emmy realizing she’s trans because of someone else, don’t worry. I don’t think she’s like, copying Selena’s identity to fit in or something like that. The thing is… seeing a trans person as just that - a person - can be a trigger to figuring out who you really are. Like, this was the case for my ex who I was dating at the time I was finally able to call myself a woman. No name change, no pronoun change, or anything like that, but I had admitted it out loud by then. It sort of had a reaction in him to call himself gender fluid, and I think that was really important for him. In this case, it was a stepping stone to realizing that he was a trans man, but that’s still valid, right? It’s ok to change your identity as you learn more about yourself. Labels can change over time. For Emmy, Selena was probably the first instance of positive representation that she ever saw. Anyways, even though my relationship kind of exploded, I talked with him at a later date, and we expressed how important being instantly supportive was to each other. We lost contact since, but I honestly hope he’s doing alright out there.

That’s probably enough about me, sorry. *laughs* This post just sort of pulls it all out of me, you know? 

Either way, we should probably get back to the posts at hand so we can end this episode in a reasonable timeframe. So I messaged Emmy to congratulate her, and I know she probably saw it, because she references something very similar to what I wrote to her in her next post. I don’t remember what exactly what I sent, just that at the time, I recognized what I sent in her wording. Also in the post, there’s another section that reminds me of the frequently asked questions about being disabled. Though this time around… well we’ll talk about it after I read it to you.

“Thank you and Fuck you!

Sorry not sorry about the title, but don’t worry, you know which one you are if you recently sent me a DM. First of all, thank you for all the kind and supportive words you all had to say! Coming out is really hard, but you made it worth it! I feel so loved and valid, it’s been great to have you all in my inbox!

However, there were other people in my inbox that I appreciated a lot less. Lots of transphobic assholes messaging me about needing mental help and how I’m going to hell now. Dicks asking me if I want to chop off my dick now, and of course, fucktards telling me to kill myself. Many of you said you’re unfollowing my blog too. So, all I have to say is fuck you!!! That’s all.”

I feel like we should talk about the second part of the post. I honestly believe she has a right to be angry here, and lashing out is perfectly natural. So I’m not saying she’s not allowed to tell transphobes off. But if you notice the last time she got a lot of upsetting messages in her inbox, she handled it with grace. There was a “fuck you” for sure, but it was implied, rather than… you know, in the title? And I think I know why there’s such a difference in tone here.

When you come out like this, you’re telling your truth for the first time. Everything feels a lot more raw and vulnerable for you. She’s probably used to the dumb questions about being deaf, so she’s developed a way to politely answer the grosser questions. But here, it’s been like, a few days? She’s going to feel like she needs to go on the attack here. 

Coming out as trans for me was really hard too, and I didn’t even do it on an online platform. I’m even hesitant to talk about it now, because of how deeply personal it is. But I think it’s important to give you context to why Emmy would want to say “fuck you” to so many people.

So the first person I ever came out to was a friend of mine from high school. She was… not a great person. She was a complete narcissist, she lied to me constantly and ended up using me for sex. That and she was deeply transphobic. Honestly, I could talk about that whole situation forever, so I won’t get started. What’s important is that when I told her I felt like a girl on the inside, she told me that was weird. And that really hurt my personal growth. It put me back into the closet for a few years. I didn’t tell anyone again for a while. The screwed up thing is that she was queer herself, and she was dating someone who would later come out as a trans guy. She didn’t support him either. I remember her telling me that it was stupid that he changed his name, and being impressionable at the young age of 22, I believed her. Even after I came out to my family, I didn’t change my name for a good while after that.

Oh, speaking of my family, coming out to them went very, very poorly. *sigh* I was having dinner with them, and I had decided earlier that day that today was the day. I finally brought up enough courage to finally say that I was a girl… and they all laughed at me. That was about 5 years ago, and the laughter is still something I never got over. After I clarified I wasn’t joking, they took it really badly. I was told later that I had almost given my dad a heart attack when I clarified that I was not only a woman, but a lesbian too. There was a lot of yelling at the table. They still have some trouble with my name and pronouns these days, but they honestly try really hard, and I really appreciate that about them. But the initial experience? It was extremely traumatizing. 

Coming out is something that you never actually get to stop doing, and I could tell more horror stories, but I think I have given you enough of an idea of why Emmy felt so many raw emotions when writing that post. 

Next up is another special post that continues the trend of being a big turning point in Emmy’s life. It’s in the form of an announcement, and I feel like I should mention that the overall time lapse in this episode is rather large. Obviously she has been posting a lot about Selena and they’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know each other. In the interest of brevity, I’m only touching on the major points. That may make it seem like things were rushed, but please note that they weren’t. She starts things off with:

“I have another announcement to make!

Many of you have been DMing me asking about me and EmeraldSkies, and saying how we should be together. Well I have good news for you! We’re official! We’re in lesbians together, lol. We’ve known each other for months now, although it feels like I’ve had a thing for her forever. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to try and make it work long distance, and I did! So I said yes! I’ve never been happier! Also, I convinced her that her poetry is totally amazing and she needed to share it with the world. Don’t just take my word for it, check out her new Tumblr!”

And there was probably a link to Selena’s Tumblr if you clicked on the last sentence. Now, I never personally messaged Emmy about this, but I did ship them very hard since the point where Selena wrote her first poem for Emmy. It felt so wholesome to see this announcement, and not just because my ship was confirmed. Emmy said right there that she had never been happier. She was finally feeling fulfilled for the first time in her life, and I think that had a lot to do with coming out, which had a lot to do with Selena in the first place. So seeing them together was such a treat.

Alright! Last post of the episode. Here we have something a little different than what we’re used to. It’s not a post that Emmy has written, but a post that she reblogged. Since she put it on her blog, it counts for our purposes, especially since it’s about her in the first place. It’s a poem about Emmy written by Selena. And it’s titled:

“Free From Tyranny

Although you still feel trapped, you are now free,

It may seem like you are damned by the followers of God,

Stuck under the rule of a not-so-heavenly father, 

But it is all an illusion, completely superficial.

For you see, you have been freed,

Freed from fear, denial, and self-loathing,

These are the metals that form the bars of the true prison,

The prison of the mind, the prison of the self.

You have bent these bars, they are nothing to you now,

So even if you still feel the tyranny from the outside world,

Know that you are finally free from the tyranny of yourself

And you are so beautiful for it. “

It’s quite a lovely little poem, and I do love the themes and the message. It’s just that, *sigh* I don’t know if I can agree with it fully? Yes, for sure, that being free to be your true self to yourself is magical. It’s something that was a huge turning point for my own personal growth. But whether or not that makes you truly free? I can’t say for sure. A terrible environment can really hurt a person’s sense of self. I worry that after a while of it, even folks with the brightness of convictions might willingly go back into their own prisons, so to speak. I do really enjoy how it’s written though, and my view of Selena as a poet isn’t hurt by my worries here.

Anyways, Emmy posts a little reply in her reblog that I find pretty funny,

“I love this poem, but I wonder who it’s about”

As if you don’t know Emmy, stop being silly *Laughs* 

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! Thanks again for all for your feedback, supportive or constructive, it honestly all really helps! I went really deep with the anecdotes today, I hope it wasn’t too much. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!

[mariabblackyr2]

Nothing Is Original (and thats ok) - Lecture Notes & Set Task

Aims for lecture: to start to think about originality, to think about the concept of what a copy is and how this might impact my practice. Also to begin to think about the terms pastiche and appropriation.

Palimpsest - a literal description of a physical object “ Paper, parchment, or other writing material designed to be reusable after any writing on it has been erased” 

By the 19th century the definition had to be tightened and was then referred to ‘a manuscript in which later writing had been superimposed on earlier writing’ 

During the 1800’s the word also evolved into a metaphor - with it retaining traces of its earlier form.

What is Originality? - How do we define it? Should we try and purse originality? Does it even exist? If so what does it look like?

The Artist as a Conman -  Wolfgang Beltracchi - in open prison, the thrill of the crime, painted exact copies of famous painters and sold them as the artists not his, shouldn't look at a painting to say this is this or that.

So why does it matter? Where are I going? And Why should you listen?

Everything is - uncanny, a hoax, theft, deja-vu, appropriation - nothing is every original - everything is re-appropriated.

To define something it can be easier to compare it to its opposites, for example to define appropriation art you can compare them to forgery to see similarities - so re-appropriation is using a piece of work again in your own style whilst forgery is right off copying.

Historical Context - This idea of copying stems from artist apprenticeships where they would be trained to be artists by copying their ‘masters’ - a necessary formation as part of artist training.

The practice can also be traced back to cubist collage - from works such as Picasso and Braque (1912)

As well as this the theme of surrealism follows ideas of copying and forgery  in works done by artists such as Salvador Dali, Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg 

Alongside this Marchel Duchamp - presents everyday objects.

Appropriation within art practice:

The deliberate production of another artists work

Artists copying artworks for their own artistic expression 

It involves adopting intellectual property from elsewhere

Borrows images, styles, forms  from art history or pop culture

Evolved around the 1960’s and then peaked in the 80’s 

Appropriation - or making artworks using already existing artworks

Terms around The readymade, pastiche, parody, stealing, simulation

Appropriation :

Pastiche, Parody and the Remake 

Postmodernism has been characterized by new creations as well as the sense that everything that is ‘new’ has been done before.

Postmodernism asks the question, ‘can there ever be new ideas and images’ Will anything ever be any different from what has come before. However, does any creation or trend have to be new, does it really matter?

In today's day and age the world consists of a huge variety of images that are remakes or copies of each other- with pop culture, art and architecture the concept of an image being original has been thoroughly subverted.

A key term used to describe the culture of imitation, copying and parodying is pastiche. The film theorists Richard Dyer has written the way to understand pastiche is as an ‘imitation that announces itself as such and that involves combining elements from other sources.’

According to Dyer collage, montage - a style of composing that combines elements from different places - within imitating we can find different combinations and relationships to the original text 

Pastiche can be a form of play

Photographers who explore re-appropriation:

John Strezkar - uses found images to create collages and montages which recreate the original narrative of the photographs.

Jeff Wall - Wall created the photograph titled ‘A Sudden Gust of Wind’ which is remarkably similar to a Japanese Painting.

Levine says ‘ the world is filled to suffocating. Man has placed his token on every stone.every word, every image, is leased mortgaged. We know that a picture is but a space in which a variety of images, none of them original, blend and clash.’

Levine's work questions the ownership of art and what originality really is. Her image our famous for being is a blatant violation of their copyright.

Originality - ‘the action of mechanical reproduction effectively diminishes the concept of originality’.

The mass, mechanical reproducibility of art has reduced its authenticity 

Mass production removes what he calls the aura - a sort of unique authority - from the work.

Even the most perfect reproduction of a work of art is lacking in one element: Its presence in time and space, its unique existence at the place where it happens to be.

The Death of the Author - Barthes extended this concept of ‘The Death of the Author’  to question originality and authenticity - he talked about how any text or image did not emit a fixed meaning  from one person but yet a range of quotations that were references to yet other text.

Igor Stravinksy - was writing ballet - corrected scores of classic manuscript - borrowing baselines whilst adding his own harmonies - ‘how dare you do that to the classics’ - you respect but i love 

Kleon loves newspapers - daily dispatch of human experience 

The artist as the collector - collects selectively - collect ideas

‘Stole words from the newspaper’ blocked out words on the page that he didn’t need to create a poem.

Published a book 

Thought he was ripping off government censorship - however work was said to be unoriginal

Tom Philips - uses books - paints and draws over the page leaving words floating on pages

Philips got it from William Burroughs who had a cut up writing technique 

Burroughs got it from Brion Gysin who was a painter cut through newspapers - poetry 

Tristin Tzara - cut up newpaper put pieces in hat them read them as a poem

Caleb Whitefoord - read across newspapers - funny combinations - published broadsheet

Kleon - idea ‘unoriginal’ - nothing is original - all creative work builds on what came before - every new idea is a remix of previous ideas

We are remix of ancestors - a genealogy ideas exists also - friends, books, music - mashup of what you let into your life

Stealing what meant something to him - expose yourself to the best things humans have done them bring them into what you're doing 

Good artists copy - great artists steal 

All art is theft - bad poets steal and de-face it 

Set Task

For the set task I did some research into Richard Prince as well as looking at the book Appropriation to further explore theory and ideas around the topic.

Appropriation - Documents of contemporary art 

‘ Pictures’ showcased artists who re photographed works

‘The death of the Author’ - ‘questions the notion of originality’

Appropriation art was justified via the ideas of Jean Baudrillard - merging reality with media's representation of reality itself

Happened around postmodernism

Influential galleries for appropriation -Metro Pictures and Sonnabend 

Artists who debated postmodernism 

Took place largely in the 1970’d/1980’s.

Barthes and Foucault were ‘ taken up by postmodernism to construct a critical space for works using appropriated imagery and stereotypes, largely through photography.

Jean Baudrillard 

‘The simulacrum is never what hides the truth - it is the truth that hides the fact that there is none. The simulacrum is true’ - an image or representation of someone or something that is not true - links in with Richard - simulacrum is a fable - it is fake

Richard Prince never wanted to copy but create a resemblance 

The technique is how you manage and reproduce the image - Prince disassociate’s from the images original intentions 

A late 20th century style and concept in the arts, architecture and criticism, which represent a departure from modernism and is characterised by the self conscious use of earlier styles and conventions, a mixing of different artistic styles and media, and a general distrust of theories. 

Richard Prince

‘What Richard is doing is questionably legal, but even if something is legal and ‘starts a dialogue’ it doesn’t mean you should actually do it.’

An infamous appropriation artist

He re-photographs, scans and manipulates the works of others

Draws his subjects from subcultures and cultural cliches

Shows how we accept stereotypes and messages from marketing - how we rely on the icons that are created by marketing such as instagram. - reproduces cliches of advertising - revelling that the messages and images are fiction 

Taking things from the original environment such as a screen shot - the familiar becomes unfamiliar and uncomfortable - inviting the viewer to criticize

Has had multiple lawsuits due to the ‘borrowing’ of work.

Prompts others to think about the ownership of art and question what is art

Has created a series of works appropriating peoples instagram posts - repurposing them by changing the caption then hanging them on a gallery wall - controversial due to  - captions provoking thoughts around current issues

Distorts the idea of owning something

When working for time-life he used advertising images then cropped them down to create his own images - ‘it was used to create a fiction, but it had come from a truth’ - creates a different meaning for advertising photography

Known for rephotographing  Marlboro cigarette advertisements then re-titled them.

links:

https://www.anothermag.com/art-photography/9602/the-new-exhibition-examining-appropriation-in-art

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/jul/18/instagram-artist-richard-prince-selfies

https://www.dazeddigital.com/art-photography/article/46679/1/richard-prince-causes-controversy-instagram-appropriation-art-artwork-theft

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/20/arts/design/richard-prince-instagram-copyright-lawsuit.html

https://www.theartstory.org/artist/prince-richard/

#contextualstudies

[dreamofcentipedes]

(1) This chapter opens with a shot of an agehamodoki/butterfly moth (this again, which also happens to represent Touka as well as ghouls, particularly because Touka again is like the ghoul represent in TG) on the floor, seemingly part of all the debris in the abandoned building they have converted to a makeshift love hotel. A butterfly moth is like a fake/imitation, while actual butterflies are associated with illusion/dreams. awkward virgin sex.

(2) The mole on Touka’s breast, actually quite a few characters in TG have conspicuous moles which reminded me that “mole reading” is a thing. According to some Chinese and Indian fortune-telling beliefs, where a person has a mole can indicate something about their life be it their personality or prospects with various things like luck, wealth, love, etc. I have no idea from a preliminary search what a mole on the right breast means as you get widely varying results that can’t be considered 

conclusive. Note that at some point sheets appear under the pair. It’s like magic, because sex on a dirty floor is not too sexy is it? At one point Kaneki references last chapter’s hookline with “ah am I really doing this with Touka-chan?”. The OEK can’t unhook a girl’s bra lol Personally I find this panel kind of off-putting and unnecessary, but before Kaneki uh, gets going, Touka is posed like an angel with the sheets spread out like her wings.

(4) This is to denote her innocence which is about to be lost. You could also see those as her butterflymoth wings, which gives a different connotation of Touka not being what she seems…Of course the most unsettling part of this chapter is at the end, at which Kaneki unconsciously starts to cry right during the thick of things, but this is not the worst part. 

(5) The last page is a spread of Kaneki curled up in fetal position head resting on Touka’s lap as she understandingly and gently strokes his head, and interestingly enough the sheets(that came from nowhere) are creased to resemble an outline of the butterfly moth. So, wtf does all this even mean?

(5) First off the fetal position represents child-like vulnerability. Having sex with Touka, a girl he claims is quite attractive to him meant to be his lover, somehow unconsciously triggers something within Kaneki that upsets him to the degree that it leaves him feeling vulnerable as a child again.But why would this be? A few weeks prior Ishida posted a poem on his tumblr accompanied by artwork of Kaneki curled up in fetal position, which to me seems to have been about childbirth or

(6) mother-child relationship. Touka also appeared in a recent colour cover in which a blood splatter appears over the area where her womb could be, implying some connection to motherhood. If you put two and two together, Kaneki’s breakdown this chapter is related to his mother issues which seem to have been overlapped with Touka. Not good.

(7) The sex was actually “too good to be true”. Instead of Kaneki feeling whole and loved he broke down after being reminded of his troubled relationship with his mother. This spells trouble for the two as lovers, as it seems to indicate that Kaneki won’t be able to love and be loved until he can get over the issues of abandonment by his mother which has left him deeply scarred. That even when Touka was willing to both emotionally and physically give herself to Kaneki,

(8) it wasn’t enough to heal his heart like she had hoped. This I would guess is the “dream” part of the whole thing. Ishida’s way of dangling a carrot only to bring down the stick. (entire chapter of happy sex, you wish). It’s actually kind of a downer for TouKen shippers even though Ishida played it straight. For me, I didn’t care about the sex or the ship so I was able to dedicate my attentions to locating the origins of the mysterious sheets lol

Uhm, really can’t say I agree with this interpretation. The moth represents metamorphosis. Several moths have also appeared throughout the series during key events of change, like when Eto reveals to the world that she’s a Ghoul, for example. Its focus is to suggest a huge change in Kaneki’s emotional state, and as the Tarot of the Sun indicates, it’s a positive one which leads to greater wholeness in Kaneki. And before you might argue that the Tarot is reversed, a reversed Sun indicates “unrecognised hope” which fits Touka to a tee - in avoiding Touka, Kaneki didn’t realise she was his hope. Even if you don’t agree with that interpretation, it’s definite that the Sun is never a negative card, even when reversed.

Touka has had wing imagery for ages, long before she had anything to do with moths. She’s an ukaku and carries the image of a caged bird: “Your wing can’t fly anywhere”, “This world is like a twisted birdcage”, and also feeling explicitly sorry for an actual bird in an actual cage. Even if imagery here is meant to represent moth wings, which I contest, that wouldn’t be a bad thing either because the moth represents change and as the Tarot indicates, change here is positive.

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar and a mole is just a mole. Likely just for the sake of showing a realistic but still beautiful body.

Blankets are symbolic of warmth. Even if they’re actually doing it on a hard, dirty floor, the moment is so wonderful to them it feels no different than being on silk blankets. They give each other warmth in the cold, they give each other happiness in a world of pain.

Touka’s angelic appearance has nothing to do with the outdated concept of ‘losing innocence’ (she’s killed people for crying out loud). The image is reminiscent of our old friend the Sun Tarot - Touka practically glows with light above our naked child Kaneki. 

See how the darkness at the bottom of the page is dispelled by the light that Touka is bathed in? The positioning of her hands and the blanket behind her evokes angel symbolism to reinforce her imagery as a celestial being that brings light to Kaneki. It’s only “off-putting” and “unnecessary” if it doesn’t lend itself to your theory - for Sun Theory, it’s a giant boost.

Kaneki cried tears of happiness upon seeing Touka again in :re, and his tears here are meant to reflect that occasion, even to the extent that he has to be told that he is crying, and then asked why. He doesn’t provide an explanation in either case, but in both, it’s clear it’s because he holds strong romantic feelings for Touka. Haise’s inner monologue in :re confirmed this then, and Kaneki moving in for the kiss immediately afterwards confirmed it now. He’s crying because he’s finally found what he’s been searching for.

Your analysis in the next section relies on incorrect information. The caption for that image was “Don’t hit me, father”. It never mentioned a mother. Additionally, Kaneki (if it is him) isn’t in the same position in that image as he is in this chapter - in the image, his hands are wrapped around his legs, an image indicating curling up from abuse rather than a foetal position. 

Also, if this was a mother-related breakdown, why would Ishida be so randomly obtuse? His mother isn’t mentioned at all this chapter and unlike every other time Kaneki’s realised something about her, she doesn’t appear in his mind’s eye. If that’s what Ishida intended, wouldn’t the obvious thing to do would be for after Kaneki starts crying to have a small panel with the words “…Mother?” or the outline of her face? As it is, I’m afraid you’re drawing something from nothing here. 

Kaneki is in a foetal position for three reasons: 1) To hearken back to the image of him in a solitary foetal position vs him now with Touka to indicate the end of his loneliness. 2) To indicate that he is being reborn once more, imagery that we’ve also seen when he battled his suicidal urges vs Arima. 3) To appear childlike and naked as Touka smiles on above to match the Sun Tarot Card.

You argue that Kaneki won’t be able to love or be loved after he started crying, but you ignore that extremely passionate image of love-making that immediately followed it. And you say she couldn’t heal his heart, despite looking utterly peaceful with the Sun Tarot right next to him. This supposed stick seems totally illusory. Is it so hard to believe that we’d be given a carrot after facing the stick for so long?

This is why I can’t agree with your theory, anon - that, and because it flies in the face of the entire feeling and emotional impact of the chapter, aspects which certainly should not be ignored. You might not be interested in the ship, but Ishida has always seemed quite invested.

#tokyo ghoul #tg meta #touken #kanetou #tgre 125 #kaneki x touka #ken kaneki #touka kirishima

[10oclockdot]

True/False 2017 Festival Report, part 2:

in which I give capsule reviews of films that I viewed on March 4 and 5, the last two days of this year's True/False, in order of best to worst. Part 1 here.

The War Show (Andreas Dalsgaard, Obaidah Zytoon, 2016) Imagine Five Broken Cameras, but in Syria. Mix in a deeply wise coming-of-age story that tragically spirals into a tale of existential perdition with poetic voice-over to rival The House is Black and ending with the most clear-throated call for piece I've heard in ages. That's The War Show, and that description doesn't do justice to this rich, multi-modal, and severely underappreciated film. It all begins with Obaidah Zytoon, a young woman who liked shooting home movies with her friends (and who became the film's director), playing forbidden music as a DJ on a Syrian radio station. "Going on air was like dancing in a mine field," she recalls. As the anti-Assad protests begin, she films the people marching with her. "I'm doing it to breathe," says a kid named Nawarah. A bevy of catchy chants fill the air with the bracing spirit of revolution. And so we meet her exuberant friends -- Houssam, her lover, Lulu, a friend who removes her hijab for the first time, Hisham, Lulu's boyfriend and a poet, and more. But even as their spirits remain high and the crowds swell, "demonstrations turned into funerals," she tells us. Journalists are targeted, the country's "senses polluted" by the ensuing flow of disinformation. "No one raised in Syria can define freedom," says one of her comrades. Dozens of locals show off scars left by torture at the hands of the Assad regime. The friends take one final trip, and then, out of nowhere, they start to be arrested, kidnapped, houses destroyed, one is even killed, the halcyon opening smashed. As the film goes on and the madness of the conflict spirals ever farther away from believability, I found myself lost -- I didn't know where we were, when we were, or what to believe. Intelligently, the film doesn't attempt an encyclopedic or journalistic account of the conflict -- it would be impossible as yet anyway -- so what we're left with are fragments that we can barely situate or hold onto. Scenes of destruction, of protests and counter-protests between those wanting democracy and those wanting a caliphate, children playing with unsafed rifles, and, of course, an inside look into how a revolution gets co-opted by warlords and arms dealers, each staging some unreality for YouTube to further their financial cause. "There was a place for everyone in the war show," Obaidah explains, "except for the people." Many moments of brilliance follow after this, but it culminates in the very final scene of the film, just as a felt most poetically and tragically lost (which, of course, is the point). After years of prison, a disappeared friend returns unexpectedly, reconciling the lives of the few friends who remain. "Syria as we know it is gone," she intones, but kneels over a clay pot, gathering soil and planting seeds, and she says of the Syrian people, "We will plant the seed of peace around the planet." And there it is: the powerful, beautiful, perfect message of The War Show -- that the Syrian diaspora is, contrary to what every xenophobic isolationist asshole has ever said, the greatest peace movement of the 21st Century. Because the Syrian people, each scarred by the madness of their country's war, will carry the scars of that war their entire lives, scars that will always speak to the necessity of peace, wherever they live and as long as they live. It's an essential message and an essential film.

Brimstone and Glory (Viktor Jakovleski, 2017) I guess that in the back of my mind, I knew that documentary could be pure spectacle -- what, after all, are IMAX documentaries? -- but I never imagined I'd spend fully half of a feature length documentary leaning forward, mouth agape, absolutely in awe of the visceral madness taking place in front of me. Brimstone and Glory is a documentary about fireworks -- specifically the absolutely bonkers annual fireworks festival in Tultepec, Mexico, where half the buildings in town are labeled "Peligro" (they build the fireworks there, year-round), where they erect hundred-foot-high towers of fireworks (castles of fire, they call them) and where they build sculptures of bulls the size of buses and run them through downtown, shooting fireworks off of them into crowds of thrill-seeking and oft-injured spectators. Director Viktor Jakovleski spent went three years in a row, shooting with drone cameras, an arsenal of Go-Pro's, and cinematographers covered head-to-toe in protective gear diving headlong into the middle of the mayhem. Add to that eruptive sound design, sharp editing, and a driving original score co-written by Behn Zeitlin (the guy who directed and wrote the music for Beasts of the Southern Wild), and you've got one of the best adrenaline rushes you can get sitting still in a seat. Best moment: as they're setting up the castles of fire, lightning strikes one of them, setting it alight. Cut to the perspective of a Go-Pro mounted on a man's head whose job it is to rapidly scale the wooden tower without a safety harness and put things in order. Damn.

Manifesto (Julian Rosefeldt, 2017) Extreme close-up, shallow-focus, ultra-slow-motion: a fuse burns across the screen, sending sparks in all directions while Cate Blanchett quotes some delicious gobbledegook from Tristan Tzara's Dada Manifesto, culminating with, "I am neither for nor against and I do not explain because I hate common sense." Thus began a film that refused common sense and did not explain itself. Cut to old women shooting off fireworks over some abandoned Eastern bloc factory or weather station. As a drone camera flies over the tumbledown complex, we find Cate Blanchett, dressed as a shabby character that recalls Denis Lavant's Monsieur Merde, dragging a suitcase through the ruins and quoting Marx. In a flash, the opening credits are a barrage: huge white block letters on a black background, the names of artists and thinkers who wrote manifestos, each on screen for about a third of a second, like a stripped-down Enter the Void. The ensuing 90-minute film follows Blanchett as she dons a dozen different disguises in a dozen different environments -- from a puppet shop to a garbage processing facility to an anechoic chamber, all brilliantly photographed -- and speaks excerpts from a few dozen manifestos from across the last century and a half. To be clear, this is not a documentary. In fact, it began as a 13-channel video installation that editor Bobby Good transformed into a feature. Though most of the audience was probably befuddled and confused about the origin of these words (the film does not caption the quotations), they were generally amused by the absurdity of deterritorializing the tone of the manifesto into more quotidian environments (a highlight: Blanchett as a news anchor conversing with Blanchett as a field reporter in a rainstorm). I enjoyed the handsome cinematography and the Nils Frahm score, but I had the most fun whenever I recognized the origin of the words: Maciunas, Lewitt, Jarmusch, Brakhage, and a few others. As for the words I didn't recognize ("Equal rights for all materials," "One dies as a hero or an idiot, which is the same thing," "Elephants are very big and cars go very fast, but so what?"), I looked a bunch of them up and learned something. A nice provocation of a film. Perfect for screening the last week of a class on avant-garde art history.

Distant Constellation (Shevaun Mizrahi, 2017) A lovely, slow-moving film made of lovely slow-moving and somewhat haunting images. The whole is not greater than the sum of its parts, making it a film that's not especially worth seeking out, but a few of the images will probably stick with me. In Istanbul, languid shots of a building under construction intercut with languider scenes of life in a retirement home. It all seems to take place neither in the past, nor the present, nor the future, but a place disconnected from time, where the overworked young build a future that won't happen while the un-visited old disappear from a past equally unreachable. Two old men ride up and down on an elevator in order to have a private conversation with each other. A very old woman who insists on being known by a pseudonym (Selma) falls asleep in the middle of an interview. One old codger, not without some charm, recounts the sexual exploits of his youth before proposing marriage to the director, saying she'll surely outlive him, which would make the marriage to her advantage. A stopped clock labeled USSR sits next to a working Western one. An old woman complains that now she walks too slowly to make it all the way across the street while the walk sign is on. The rhythms of the modern world aren't kind to everyone, but as tales of the Armenian genocide reveal, perhaps the world was never all that kind. So this constellation drifts on, and fades away.

Still Tomorrow (Fan Jian, 2016) A woman with cerebral palsy living in a remote Chinese village writes a poem that gets shared a million times on Chinese Facebook and scores her a book deal. That sounds like a good hook for a documentary, but the film lacks a clear shape or direction. For the most part, Yu Xiuhua spends the film not charismatically soaking up her newfound fame (though there's a bit of that, and it's really fun), but rather fighting with and divorcing a husband she's never loved. That focus feels strange until you notice that the poetry isn't really the object of investigation here, but rather the abuse which lower-class disabled people suffer in exchange for a caregiver. Sadly, this theme receives scant development. Still, there's plenty of her lovely poetry on display. "Silent wheat in the moonlight / the frictions between them / are the trembling of all the things of the earth." Here the image shows a wheatfield near her home. It's a choice not entirely without grace, but when a documentary's images cannot stand alongside its subject's words, the project falters.

Lindy Lou, Juror #2 (Florent Vassault, 2017) I desperately wanted to like this film. Lindy Lou served on a jury two decades ago that sent a murderer to death row. There's no doubt the man was guilty, but in the intervening years Lindy Lou has come to deeply regret this decision. So she and the documentarian travel around Mississippi tracking down her fellow jurors and finding out whether any of them changed their minds. It's a clear spine with clear motivation and all, but the structure ends up deeply limiting the film, since many of the people she goes to talk to aren't all that interesting people to talk to. The film was at its best when one of the jurors who'd also felt pangs of guilt years later suggests that their ought to be a state-funded counseling service for jurors who have to do such work. In the Q&A after the film, Lindy Lou, who was there in person, suggested that the trauma experienced by jurors on such cases was a bit like the trauma experienced by soldiers -- and she ought to know, she's a veteran herself. But she made the mistake of mentioning the film American Sniper to the fairly liberal crowd at T/F, which drew a couple of muted snarls from people seated near me. And in that moment I realized that even if Lindy Lou's on the right side of the death penalty debate, the Confederate flag flying on her property and her husband's gun enthusiasm (both depicted in the film) put her in such a different world from many of the folks in the audience that effective bipartisan collaboration might be impossible. I rarely learn more from the Q&A than from the film, but that was the case here.

#tf #true false #true/false #true false film festival #true/false film festival #film #film festival #the war show #brimstone and glory #manifesto #distant constellation #still tomorrow #lindy lou #lindy lou juror 2

[bellagbear]

It was my birthday on the 10th of November! – Happy birthday to me – Last year I wrote a post reflecting on the year that had gone by creative wise. I thought that’s a good habit to keep so here is my post for this year. The post is a bit delayed because I was on a holiday with my family and too busy laying in the ocean and too occupied relaxing to write. I’m sure you’ll all understand.

It’s my birthday and wow what a year was 2018

What kind of year did I have?

This year I spend most of my time in Kenya. First to finish my master studies and later because of love and to settle down in Kenya. I came back to Kenya for love, research and adventure. Read more about why I decided to come back here:

Kenya has my heart in more than one way.

The settling down has gone very fast because I’ve been in Kenya for three months, and we already have nine chickens and I’m working on a baby quilt for a friend.

My quilts of 2019

The first exhibition: Look Behind the Lines mini quilt

This year one of my quilts participated in a Dutch quilting exhibition. I’m very proud of the quilt I send in because it is one of my first pieces with a meaning behind it. Also, the process of exhibiting the quilt and visiting to see my quilt and those of my quilting friends made me reflect about sharing your own work. I wrote a blog post to honour the occasion:

‘Look behind the lines’ miniature quilt and a quilt exhibition

Look behind the lines mini quilt

Picknick blanket scrap quilt

One of the quilts I finished this year. I have some people in mind who should get this quilt, but it will be a while before I can get it to then. Until then, it will adorn my parents’ living room. So many scraps were used in this quilt, as I explain in the post below. The quilting is done by hand with glow-in-the-dark thread. However, it is unfortunately not visible in the dark. Does anyone have experience using glow-in-the-dark thread successfully?

Picknick blanket scrap quilt

The Kenyan Quilt

This is the quilt I started the first time I moved to Kenya. It is made completely out of fabrics I got there. Now I am back I am in the process of hand quilting this piece to finish it. It is a nice way to tie both my Kenya journeys together.

The Kenyan Quilt top is finished!

The Kenyan Quilt: quilt blocks showcase

Why would you hand quilt: The HQAL and my Kenyan quilt

Kenyan quilt block finished

The piece below shows what you can do with leftover blocks from your quilt! This is going to be a small blanket or scarf once it’s quilted.

Crazy quilt blanket

Nearly Insane Machine Sampler Quilt

This quilt is designed by Liz Lois based on Salinda Rupp’s original quilt. In between my two stays in Kenya, I worked a lot on this quilt. And although I didn’t finish this quilt I did make a lot of progress! The motivation to finish this quilt grew especially when I started putting the blocks together using the Quilt-as-You-Go method. This quilting technique allows you to put blocks together as soon as you finish a block instead of having to wait until all the blocks are done. I hope to finish this quilt when I visit the Netherlands sometime.

Introduction Nearly Insane Sampler Quilt

The Nearly insane quilt blocks showcase

A Nearly Insane quilter quilting QAYG?

The Dear Jane Hand Quilting Sampler Quilt

This is by far the biggest quilting project in my life so far. Dear Jane is a sampler quilt based on an original quilt made by Jane Stickle during the Civil War. Brenda Papadakis made patterns out of the more than 200 blocks of the quilt. Now, Dear Jane is seen as the ultimate proof of skill upon completion by quilters. Therefore, I started this quilt to teach myself to quilt by hand. My reasoning is that once I have completed this Dear Jane quilt I can call myself a skilled hand quilter. By now, I have finished almost half of the blocks and assembled a part of them. You can follow my progress by reading one of the many blog posts I have written about this quilt so far.

The Dear Jane hand sampler introduction

I’m not ashamed: humble Dear Jane quilt blocks

The Dear Jane quilt: white with shock

Click this link to see all the Dear Jane related posts:

Dear Jane quilt blog posts

Tutorial: How to make your own awesome star quilt

One of my goals is to one day become a quilting teacher. To get there, I am writing this blog and I also enjoy writing tutorials. This year I finished a tutorial to make your own star quilt.

Part 1: Quilt tutorial: How to make a patchwork star

Part 2: Quilt tutorial: How to finish your star quilt

Lastly: new beginnings with Kitenge and Kenyan fabric quilts

Here are some examples of other quilting projects I am working on made with Kenyan fabrics.

Embroidery and Cross Stitch of 2019

Death of Discworld cross stitch

This cross stitch is for an art trade. I made this cross stitch and get awesome crochet dragon gloves in return.

Bukowski Biscornu Cross Stitch

This was made for a competition where the prompt was to make something embodying positivity to you. I didn’t win, unfortunately, but I am very proud of the result nonetheless.

The cross stitch design is based on and inspired by this poem:

Crewel embroidery landscape

One of my goals this year was to learn how to make crewel embroidery. I bought a pattern by Sol Y Mano study to practice and the result is below. It turns out that crewel embroidery is tricky, especially to remember all the different stitches. However, I really love complicated embroidery pieces so I will keep on practising and developing this skill. Embroidery is like painting with thread and I love that idea.

Coat of Many Colours embroidery patch

The piece below is one of those places I’m developing my embroidery skills. This is going to be a patch for my man who is an MC and artist. He has a special connection with the Dolly Parton song ‘Coat of Many Colours’ on which this design is based. To keep true to the idea of a patchwork coat I am using leftover floss from previous embroidery projects.

Any one colour running cross stitch design

This piece was finished more than a year ago for another competition. However, I wrote a post about it this year so it fits in this post. In the post, I talk about my design process from idea to drawing to the finished piece.

How to turn a drawing into a cross stitch piece: The any one colour design

Other projects of mine 

Other topics I wrote about

These stories fall under the category Artisan Life on my website.

Why would you hand quilt: The HQAL and my Kenyan quilt

When and how to quit a quilt

How to get good materials for quilting and embroidery creatively and cheap

Other websites of mine

I started a writing website to share my experiences of living abroad and to show-case my short stories.

Bella G. Bear Writes

Another website I am working on is focused on music, especially sharing music from all over the world. More about that project later.

Conclusion: plans for the new year

How am I doing?

Better and better! The past year I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and looking at how my life has been functioning so far. I realized that I spend a lot of my time feeling stressed and anxious. Not for any particular reason, but more because of insecurity and worrying about other people’s opinion. This stress has stopped me from doing a lot of things I wanted to or should have done. Projects I didn’t dare to execute, people I didn’t have the confidence to befriend or people I didn’t help because I thought I was somehow wrong about what to do. The past year I’ve started the process of calming down and focusing more on my own life and goals, and I’ve noticed the more I focus on my own goals and values the calmer and more confident I feel! I wrote a bit more about this process in one of my Monthly Updates:

Monthly Sewing Update Oktober 2019

Goals for this new year:

Worry less and grow confidence.

Focus on my own projects and building a life that suits me.

Continue to learn embroidery and crewelwork.

Make and sell bags with Kenyan fabric.

Now to end this post with some questions for you:

Do you set periodical goals for yourself? If you, would you like to share some of them?

What is your proudest achievement this year?

What are the methods you use to feel calm and secure in life?

What kind of posts of mine do you like most and would you like to see more of?

Next week’s post: HQAL update with the Dear Jane Quilt! (big finishes)

See my DeviantArt or Instagram (username: bella.g.bear.art) for more artwork and WIPs. You can also follow my blog by clicking on the button on the left or by filling in your email address. There will be a monthly update at the end of every month and a new blog post every Sunday or Monday.

My birthday or wow what a year 2.0, 2019 It was my birthday on the 10th of November! - Happy birthday to me - Last year I wrote a post reflecting on the year that had gone by creative wise.

#artisan #birthday #biscornu #creative blogger #crewel embroidery #cross stitch #Dear Jane quilt #death of discworld #Embroidery #Nearly insane quilt #patchwork #pattern design #quilt #quilt tutorial #quilt writer #quiltblogger #quilter #yearly update

[latesthollywoodnews]

We Finally Understand What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese

We Finally Understand What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

We Finally Understand What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese, Walt Hollywood Pictures Celebrities.

Upcoming Celebrity News 2017, A Wrinkle In Time Latest Story Song, We Finally Understand What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese.

New Hollywood Celebrities 2017 Celebrity News 2017 top Pixar Animation Studios, is an American computer animation film studio based in Emeryville, California that is a subsidiary of The Walt Hollywood Company. Pixar began in 1979 as the Graphics Group, part of the Lucasfilm computer division, before its spin-out as a corporation in 1986, with funding by Apple Inc. co-founder Steve Jobs, who became the majority shareholder.

Can you watch Hollywood Celebrities anywhere without Internet?

Downloading a Celebrity from the Hollywood Celebrities Anywhere app saves the video file onto your device so you can watch it without an Internet connection. You will need to be connected to the Internet to download your Celebrity. Once you have finished downloading, you can watch your downloaded Celebrities offline and on the go.

What does Mulan’s name mean?

In the original poem, the heroine’s name is “Mulan.” According to the Chinese- English dictionary, the name means “lily magnolia.” Mulan is often given a last name, “Hua,” which means “flower.” The Chinese pinyin spelling of the name is “Hua Mu-Lan.”

How did Walt Hollywood begin?

The Walt Hollywood Company started in 1923 in the rear of a small office occupied by Holly-Vermont Realty in Los Angeles. It was there that Walt Hollywood, and his brother Roy, produced a series of short live-action/animated films collectively called the ALICE COMEDIES. The rent was a mere $10 a month.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was once a wrestling legend who dabbled in acting. But he didn’t become a bona fide action star until he entered the billion-dollar Fast & Furious franchise as Luke Hobbs, in 2011’s Fast Five.

But by the time the eighth installment, The Fate of the Furious, rolled around, Johnson took the private behind-the-scenes drama public, sparking a feud with co-star Tyrese Gibson that would last for years.

The online feud began in 2016 with a since-deleted Facebook post where The Rock blasted his male co-stars, per ABC News. After praising the “incredible” crew as well as the franchise, the former wrestler didn’t hold back, saying,

“My female co-stars are always amazing and I love ’em. My male co-stars however are a different story. Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken s— to do anything about it anyway. Candy assed.”

Flash forward to 2017 when Tyrese Gibson took to Instagram to ask Johnson not to do the Fast & Furious spinoff, Hobbs & Shaw, writing,

“You…have purposely ignored the heart to heart moment we had in my sprinter. I don’t wanna hear from you until you remember what we talked about…Fast Family is just that, a family…We don’t fly solo.”

According to Entertainment Weekly, later in 2017 Universal Pictures announced Fast & Furious 9 would be delayed due to the planned spin-offs. Gibson obviously didn’t take the news well and blamed Johnson for the delay. He wrote on Instagram,

“Congratulations to The Rock…for making the Fast and the Furious franchise about YOU. Will this be another Baywatch? Guys, guys just relax I’m just a passionate film critic.”

Shots fired.

A day later, Universal announced the release date for Hobbs & Shaw. Gibson responded to the news by taking his beef to Instagram once again, posting a throwback pic of the cast without Johnson, writing,

“Diversity, love…Fast Family. Until [Dwayne] showed up. I guess this whole time he had a problem ’cause he wasn’t the ONLY ONE on the movie poster.”

Gibson went on to add that Paul Walker and Vin Diesel were both offered franchise spin-offs, but turned them down at the time. Johnson posted the teaser trailer for Hobbs & Shaw on Instagram later that week claiming that Universal approached him about the spin-off years prior. He explained his reason for agreeing to the film was to quote “create greater opportunities” for his fellow Fast & Furious franchise cast mates, but his parting shot came with the hashtag: CandyAssedNeedNotApply.

Gibson then ratcheted up the feud by posting a video of Johnson criticizing Gibson’s 2015 R&B album, Black Rose. In the now-deleted video, via E! News, Johnson said,

Gibson captioned his post,

“Haters come in many forms. In my Kanye voice Black Rose is one of the greatest R&B Soul Albums of all time.”

“This is my first number one album…I’m on a mission to save my genre. R&B, like real R&B fans.”

The feud died down for almost a year until Gibson hopped on Instagram again in November 2017, and threatened to walk away from the Fast franchise if The Rock continued to be a part of it. Misspelling his own character’s name, Gibson wrote:

“I’m sorry to announce that if [Dwayne] is in Fast 9 there will no more Roman Peirce [sic], You mess with family and my daughter’s survival I mess with yours…Close your eyes dude you’re a ‘Clown.'”

On August 2, 2019, Hobbs & Shaw hit theaters and roared to number 1 at the box office in its first two weeks. Johnson took to Twitter to thank his fans, and take another shot at Gibson while he was at it. He wrote:

“Thank you everyone for makin’ this an exciting first week of box office for our lil’ spin-off Hobbs and Shaw. Number 1 movie and $333M worldwide, ain’t too shabby. And remember, the best way to shut the mouth of a [clown] is to flex with success and a smile.”

In its first month, the film earned over $600 million worldwide.

However, in yet another since-deleted Instagram post, via People magazine, Gibson called the global opening:

“NOT a win…Breaking up the family clearly doesn’t have the value that one would assume it does…Again my respects cause he tried his best.”

On September 6th, 2019, Deadline reported that Hobbs & Shaw surpassed $700 million at the box office, making it the highest-grossing non-Disney, non-superhero movie of 2019. You can probably smell what The Rock was cooking when he read the article. Yes, another shot at Tyrese: an Instagram post where the action star posted a screenshot of the Deadline story.

We’re not sure if The Rock and Gibson will appear together in Fast & Furious 9 or not. But if they do, we’re buying all the popcorn.

Watch the video for more about What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese

#DwayneJohnson #TheRock #Tyrese

New Hollywood Celebrity News 2017 Ratings Videos, We Finally Understand What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese.

Hollywood has been criticized for its influence over children in that it endeavours to appeal to children at a young age and develop their views and interests according to Hollywood’s portrayal of major themes as well as prepare children to become early consumers of their brand. Hollywood Celebrity News 2018, We Finally Understand What Happened With The Rock And Tyrese.

https://www.myhollywoodnews.com/we-finally-understand-what-happened-with-the-rock-and-tyrese/

#LatestNews

#Latest News