#the only thing in ohio is Playlist

[blu-bary]

okay that ohio one hurted a little but it’s too accurate— 😭

ITS NOT ALL CORN I SWEAR I DONT LIVE IN A CORNFIELD OR ON A FARM

- playlist anon

sorry playlist, i dont know what to tell you🤷

#nothing can help the hunger in ohio #the only thing in ohio is Playlist #playlist anon

[chenfordsource]

Thank you all for your participation in Chenford Week 2023! Seeing the turnout this year was genuinely incredible; the love for our favorite ship led to nearly 300 creations, including fanfics, gifsets, edits, and fanvideos and playlists. 

With so many creations, there was no way for everyone to keep up throughout the week, so we put together a master list of all the Chenford Week 2023 content.

The list is organized by day and content type; we hope it helps navigate the amazing content created for the event. If we’re missing your entry or any links don’t work, please let us know. 

Thank you all for your incredible Chenford Week work this year!

Fics:

Day 1 (Inspired by Canon Day)

Ohio Laundry Room by silverskull

What Tim Needs by aleclightwoodgirl

Ghost of You by girlintotv

More than ever by rissachenford

Chenford Cam Watchers by Angel_Butterfly10FrDeGSMTLC

Watching by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

watching my heart (go round and around) by jennahbennah

We could build a house away from here(I just wanna get warm with you) by niamsagram

Unless it is (Lucy's POV) by TheChandom

fight the frost (of the morning blue) by fromiftowhen

Up is down, down is up by ImperiumWife

Never Underestimate a Bradford by gemma_chenfordfan

you know the greatest films of all time were never made by quesera

A Little Mystery to Figure Out by westwingwolf

Always find you by thatfandomwriter

Your string of lights are still bright to me by Lxvechenford

safe in your arms by Ellitheria

Palms by L56895

Daddy Cop - Arrest me but make it sexy by AllMyTomorrows

Daddy Cop by Lucychenford

It's a Daily Struggle by mom2kmt

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 1 by elementsofemily1193

let's build a life by itsgrangerweasley

the best thing that's ever been mine by BimadaBomily

i'll make it through if i stick to you (cover your body in superglue) by lucychens

Event Horizon by TheRogue16

My Favorite Line was "Can I Call You Sometime?" by TheAwkwardAnglophile

We Need To Talk by PBenjamin012215

no safer place than with you by madneyfiles

Forever Looks Like This by ameliagiovanna0

Day 2 (TV Tropes Day)

Glad You Exist by aleclightwoodgirl

Bear it all by myrandomfandomramblings

Not our parents by thatfandomwriter

The Night Before - an Epilogue by mom2kmt

'Til Death Do Us Part by girlintotv

when you're by my side by chenfordspiral

Fluff 'n' Stuff by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

Bedtime Stories by Tiger_Lily24

I Won't Say No by firstdegreefangirl

Evergreen by silverskull

maybe we'll discover (what we should have known all along) by jennahbennah

find the one you can't live without by HeyItsEm

Just when I thought our chance had passed (You go and save the best for last) by niamsagram

i had a feeling so peculiar (this pain wouldn't be for evermore) by quesera

I always look after you by Lxvechenford

Woke up in love by TheChandom

Not Our Bed. It's Mine. by Angel_Butterfly10FrDeGSMTLC

Looks Like She's In Love by westwingwolf

Burning For You by meghansarchive

Breathe Again by RogueTwelve

Haunted by liaromancewriter

and i can't sleep at night (every time i close my eyes, i'm torn between two lives) by BimadaBomily

The Weak Link by Ellitheria

Mid-Wilshire Family Barbecue by AllMyTomorrows

Breaking up was Easy in the 90s (Tim's POV) by WannaBeBold

Here Comes the Sun by achegaby

I'll Take care of you by rissachenford

When I Taste Tequila by ImperiumWife

Surprise! by LondonRih

looking at you (with pride in my eyes) by TheRogue16

I miss you, I'm sorry by Lucychenford

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 2 by elementsofemily1193

i met you on the rooftop, shining with the moonlight by lucychens

My One and Only by PBenjamin012215

This Is It by ameliagiovanna0

A Hell of a View by RogueTwelve

roadtrips & lifetimes by paldogangsaan

Day 3 (Something's Missing Day)

The Babysmitter by westwingwolf

I Think Kojo Had a Nice Day by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

Missing Piece by thatfandomwriter

Lucy's internal monologue during the 5x02 ending by myrandomfandomramblings

man of honor by paldogangsaan

i can go anywhere i want (just not home) by quesera

Angela Lopez, Detective by gemma_chenfordfan

run into the night (like the sun won't ever come up) by chenfordspiral

You Left Them Like That? by Angel_Butterfly10FrDeGSMTLC

One Of These Days by silverskull

Unexpected Turn of Events by aleclightwoodgirl

I Want You to Say (that you want me to stay) by firstdegreefangirl

I only talk to God when I need a favor (But I'll pay for all I've done, just please don't let me lose her) by niamsagram

you OWE me, baby by Ellitheria

You think I'm pretty? by AllMyTomorrows

Drunk in Love by Spindos

Slow Sweet Nothings by BimadaBomily

Silence Runs Deep by MrsHannahLongbottom

True Crime by Lucychenford

The Story Of Us by girlintotv

you're barely waking (and i'm tangled up in you) by jennahbennah

Fly me to the Moon by achegaby

Lost and Found by ImperiumWife

Finally! by PBenjamin012215

Secret Love by WannaBeBold

Anchor by TheRogue16

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 3 by elementsofemily1193

Trapped by liaromancewriter

make it feel like there's nothing left but you and i by lucychens

Channel 9 (Missing Chenford Moments part 2) by TheChandom

When I Taste Tequila by ameliagiovanna0

Day 4 (Happy Hawley-Day)

The Best Bling Store by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

Just some fall things by thatfandomwriter

If We Took A Holiday by westwingwolf

one minute to midnight (let's start the new year right) by BimadaBomily

you keep his shirt (he keeps his word) by chenfordspiral

And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other (We would of been Timeless) by niamsagram

Wedding Day Jitters by ImperiumWife

One Last Secret by silverskull

The Cold Really Bothered Tim Anyway by Bluenet13

I Love You, But No. by Angel_Butterfly10FrDeGSMTLC

Our Secretly Perfect Holidays by girlintotv & thatfandomwriter

How did you know? by AllMyTomorrows

Speechless by Lucychenford

Snow on the Beach by myrandomfandomramblings

I've Got Plenty to Be Thankful For by achegaby

And It's Like the Fog Has Lifted by TheAwkwardAnglophile

in paper rings, in picture frames, and all my dreams by quesera

Time For Me To Come Home For Christmas. by PBenjamin012215

Unless it is (Tim’s POV) by TheChandom

Underneath the mistletoe by aleclightwoodgirl

what do I do with this (with a love that won't sit still) by TheRogue16

when my heart finds christmas (i hope it finds you too) by jennahbennah

three words that became hard to say (i and love and you) by lucychens

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 4 by elementsofemily1193

I can't lose when I'm with you by Tiger_Lily24

Day 5 (Love Languages Day)

Love Language by thatfandomwriter

i'm just like 'hey, are you okay?' by BimadaBomily

Words of Affirmation by aleclightwoodgirl

I Will Serve. I Will Be of Service. by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

I Swear That I Am Up to No Good by Bluenet13

I'm Glad You're Here by firstdegreefangirl

you know what it was (he is in love) by quesera

We keep this love in a photograph; We made these memories for ourselves by niamsagram

Keeping you Close by Lucychenford

Tomorrow is Another Day by HeyItsEm

Centrifugal Motion by silverskull

i think of you (and it's alright) by jennahbennah

Give Me All Your Love Now by westwingwolf

I love that its not hard ( to be in a place where laughing's easy) by achegaby

i already know that there ain't no stoppin' your plans and those slow hands by lucychens

Hands by AllMyTomorrows

no chance, no way, I won't say (I'm in love) by TheRogue16

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 5 by elementsofemily1193

Just Like Tim by TheChandom

Goodnight by Angel_Butterfly10FrDeGSMTLC

Day 6 (Get Creative Day)

hope that it's hopeless by magnoliamica

Sunshine bar by thatfandomwriter

How To Train Your Dragon by Chry5alis

The Inheritance Clause by Torreshalstead

I Just Want You To Know Who I Am by girlintotv

i will take care of you (the very best that i can) by BimadaBomily

Take Two by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

You Move Me by westwingwolf

Forget and Forgive by silverskull

Call It Magic (When I'm With You) by TheAwkwardAnglophile

all this chemistry has got me falling (i'm definitely high) by chenfordspiral

Lost Love by PBenjamin012215

The Bradfords by Lucychenford

The Letter by firstdegreefangirl

We Got to Quit Meeting Like This by aleclightwoodgirl

you'll find the real thing instead (she'll patch up the tapestry that i shred) by jennahbennah

There you see her Sitting there across the way (You wanna kiss the girl) by niamsagram

I'm hers, she's mine by TheChandom

come, you spirit that tend on mortal thoughts by TheRogue16

Green by liaromancewriter

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 6 by elementsofemily1193

groupchat fights by paldogangsaan

take me out to the ball game by lucychens

Day 7 (Free Day)

Nightmares by thatfandomwriter

Mosaic by fuzzy_wuzzy_wuzza_writer

Something just like this by littlesnafu

Tell the truth (I look better under you) by moonycpd

Can you use these tears? (to put out the fires in my soul) by achegaby

Meeting the Family by Lucychenford

I'll Always Be by silverskull

The Night The Lights Went Out in California by westwingwolf

A Late-Night Party by LondonRih

finish what you started (push until you feel i'm about to break) by BimadaBomily

I will ease your mind by TheChandom

Breaking up was Easy in the 90s (Lucy's POV) by WannaBeBold

baby i would die for you by itsgrangerweasley

Happy Birthday by aleclightwoodgirl

ghosts in the eyes (of all the boys you sent away) by jennahbennah

Time rolls by, the clock don't stop by niamsagram

a post is worth a thousand words; a like is a worth a thousand speeches by TheRogue16

My Hero by navywife97

Seven Days of Storytelling: Day 7 by elementsofemily1193

New Years Day by chens_luv

About Last Night by Solo Ojo Jojo

Gifs & Gifsets:

Day 1 (Inspired by Canon Day)

Favorite s5 moment/Inspired by a season five song by livelovecaliforniadreams

Favorite season 5 moments by lightsparkss

Favorite s5 moments by leavingubehind

S5 moments vs. past seasons by westwingwolf

5x01 inspired gifset by firstdegreefangirl

Favorite s5 moments by chenslucy

Favourite s5 moments as Netflix highlights by timlucys

Day 2 (TV Tropes Day)

Season 5 tropes by leavingubehind

Season 5 tropes (Everyone Knows) by westwingwolf

Favorite Season 5 parallels/callbacks by livelovecaliforniadreams

2x11/5x05 parallel (inspired by sick/injured & hurt/comfort tropes) by chenslucy

Chenford + non-sexual forms of intimacy (dating edition) by timlucys

Day 3 (Something's Missing Day)

Chenford + Tumblr hashtags by leavingubehind

Missing kid AU by westwingwolf

Underrated moment: 5x12 by livelovecaliforniadreams

Underrated moment: 5x17 by chenford-fan

Incorrect dialogue: 5x02 by sgtbradfords

The Vow AU by timlucys

Day 4 (Happy Hawley-Day)

"I Can See You" - Taylor Swift by livelovecaliforniadreams

Relationship milestones/firsts: S5 edition by westwingwolf

"God Gave Me A Girl" - Russell Dickerson by firstdegreefangirl

"Love You a Little Bit" - Tanner Adell by sgtbradfords

"I Can See You" - Taylor Swift by timlucys

Relationship milestones/firsts: 5x16 by chenford-fan

Day 5 (Love Languages Day)

100 ways to say I love you by leavingubehind

The original love languages by livelovecaliforniadreams

Love language: Physical touch by westwingwolf

The original love languages by myrandomfandomramblings

Love language: Acts of service by chenford-fan

It's all about the hands by queseraone

10 untranslatable words that describe love better than you ever thought by timlucys

Day 6 (Get Creative Day)

Chenford + after work hangs by livelovecaliforniadreams

Chenford + Wade Grey by westwingwolf

Chenford + phone calls by myrandomfandomramblings

Chenford + beige/neutral color theme by chenslucy

Bumble dating app AU by chenlucys

Chenford + Lucy's apartment by chenford-fan

V.E. Schwab dedication by sgtbradfords

Chenford + otp prompts by leavingubehind

Chenford + written by Alexi Hawley by timlucys

Day 7 (Free Day)

Chenford Google Search by livelovecaliforniadreams

Chenford + Lucy's apartment by westwingwolf

Get creative - angst edition by onlyhereforangst

Chenford + domestic moments by chenford-fan

"Religiously" - Bailey Zimmerman by firstdegreefangirl

The way he looks at her vs. the way she looks at him by chenslucy

Melissa & Eric appreciation by timlucys

Other:

Day 1 (Inspired by Canon Day)

Fanart - Favorite s5 moment: 5x10 by myrandomfandomramblings

Picspam - Favorite s5 moments by buckleybrvdford

Picspam - Favorite s5 moment: 5x01 by theflyindutchwoman

Picspam - Favorite s5 moment: 5x16 by chenfordspiral

Scrapbook Page - Favorite s5 moment: 5x10 by thesassywitchofthenortheast

Fanvideo - "GOOD" by Erin McCarley by lovelylavenderrose

Day 2 (TV Tropes Day)

Picspam - Trope: Battle Couple (Couples that fight together) by theflyindutchwoman

Picspam - 2x11/5x05 parallel by buckleybrvdford

Fanvideo - "Mr Brightside" (Trope: Jealousy) by lovelylavenderrose

Day 3 (Something's Missing Day)

Graphic - Missing moment: the morning after by theflyindutchwoman

Fanart - Missing moment: 5x18 sushi date by CauseRSisEpic

Graphic - Missing moment: Everyone reacting to Chenford dating by buckleybrvdford

Graphic - "Missing" Kojo Poster by mom2kmt

Day 4 (Happy Hawley-Day)

Graphic - Relationship milestones/firsts: Tim and Lucy's first (and second first) date and their first (real) kiss by theflyindutchwoman

Picspam - Relationship milestones/firsts: First time by buckleybrvdford

Moodboard - Tim and Lucy's wedding day by queseraone

Day 5 (Love Languages Day)

Graphic - Love language: Physical touch by theflyindutchwoman

Picspam - Love language: Giving/receiving gifts in 5x16 by buckleybrvdford

Picspam - Hands, hugs, or kisses (or all three!) by chenfordspiral

Picspam - Love language: Taking pictures and making videos by theflyindutchwoman

Day 6 (Get Creative Day)

Graphic - Chenford + Kojo (a peek at Kojo's Instagram account) social media AU by queseraone

Picspam - Chenford + parking garage/lot by theflyindutchwoman

Picspam - Chenford + undercover by chenfordsbee

Graphic - Chenford + S5 texts by wanna-be-bold

Day 7 (Free Day)

Graphic - Chenford + Meleric appreciation by theflyindutchwoman

Playlist - Out of the Shade: A Chenford Playlist by tinderbox210

Picspam - Relationship milestones/firsts by chenfordspiral

Handlettering - "I can't lose you the way I lost her" by theawkwardanglophile

Graphic - How far Chenford has come in 5 seasons by myrandomfandomramblings​

#chenfordweek23 #the rookie #therookieedit #chenford #chenfordedit #chenford fanfic #lucy chen #tim bradford #admin

[logbush]

Yay a Glee (Quinn) writer! lol I miss her! Can I request reader lending her sweater to Quinn, when Quinn is home, she realizes she still has r’s sweater and she find r’s iPod. Out of curiosity, Quinn looks through it and finds a playlist titled with her name, friends to lovers please! :)

Lost Something?

1,035 words

fluff

quinn fabray x reader

a/n: this was hard to write for some reason lol. keep sending your requests, im working on them right now and they should be out sometime soon!!

if someone would’ve told you that you would’ve fallen for your best friend quinn fabray, you would’ve laughed in their face. but here you were, sitting across from her at breadstix trying hard not to lean over and kiss her. she was wearing a red sundress, matching her red headband, and jeans. a look that made your knees weak. you, however, had decided to dress down for the occasion, a hoodie and sweats, you didnt expect her to dress up so you didnt.

she looked at you and laughed softly “whats going through your mind, y/l/n,” she said softly before taking a bite of her food. you shook your head “no nothing, dont worry” you replied before pushing your plate away, something you did whenever you were done with your food. “you’re already done? i just started!” she joked, trying to finish her food faster. “hey, we dont have to finish at the same time” she laughed softly before copying you and pushing her plate away towards you after she finished.

the waitress brought the check by, you and quinn looked at each other. you both wanted to pay but you didnt want to fight about it so you just let her. she smiled as she reached for the check and put her card in it. you sat back and looked at her with a smile. “you let me pay?” she questioned. “i didnt want to fight about it” you answered. she shook her head “we wouldn’t have fought, i would’ve just made us get my way” she smiled while you laughed, “sounds like a fight to me” the waitress brought back quinn’s card. the blonde said a quick ‘thank you’ to her before the two of you got up and started to leave.

it was cold outside, ohio in december isn’t exactly the warmest. you looked at the cheerleader next to you, watching as she was shivering. you quickly took your hoodie off before handing it to her “put it on” you instructed as you walked with her to your car. she looked at you, without your hoodie you were left in just a t-shirt. she shook her head “i dont want you to freeze” she wrapped her arms around her body, trying to conserve warmth, “i’m not going to freeze, q, you might though” quinn scoffed jokingly before taking the hoodie from your hands and slipping it on, the smell of you wafting through her senses.

quinn wouldn’t never admit this to anyone, but she was starting to catch feelings for you as well. you did the sweetest things try to make her happy, like giving her your hoodie whenever she was cold or making her her favorite pastry whenever she was sad. you remembered the small things and she loved that about you.

you dropped quinn off at her house about a half an hour ago. she had been sitting on her bed in your hoodie all that time. she turned on her side and put her hands in the pocket. the blonde felt something touch her hand. curious, she pulled it out of the pocket and looked at it. your ipod. god, you must’ve been dying without this. you can barely go five minutes without music.

quinn got curious about what you had been listening to all these years so she decided to go through it. show tunes, neil diamond, john denver, billy joel, simon and garfunkel. all people she was expecting, you weren’t very new with your tastes. she kept going through it before landing on a playlist. this playlist intrigued the blonde, as it was titled ‘quinn <3’.

the cheerleader smiled at the sight before quickly clicking on it before she could think. make you feel my love, lucky, something, but one song stood out to her, you belong with me by taylor swift. the only song from this playlist she actually knew and knew the meaning of.

quinn sat stunned, the thought of you actually liking her back made her crazy. she couldn’t wait til tomorrow to find out, she needed to know now. the blonde raced downstairs and outside to her car. she got in and drove to your house, breaking numerous speeding and stopping laws.

once the blonde got to your house she knocked on the door until someone answered. just to her luck, you were the one who answered. “whats up quinn? why are you knocking so much?” quinn looked up at you, looking at you dressed in sweats and a tank top. she gently bit her lower lip before holding up your ipod, “lost something?” she said with a smirk. you smiled brightly before yanking your ipod from her hands “oh my god i thought this was gone forever! was it in my hoodie?” you questioned while bringing her inside and up to your room. quinn nodded and sat on your bed “it was, you know, there was a certain little playlist that caught my eye”

your eyes went wide and you looked down, trying to avoid any and all eye contact “i dont know what you’re talking about” you mumbled. quinn smiled and looked at you, she didnt need your confirmation, your reaction made her know you liked her. you felt the warmth of her hand on your back rubbing soft circles “hey its okay, can you look at me for a minute?” she questioned. you looked at her, scared for whats going to happen. the blonde used her hand to cup your cheek, gently rubbing the apple of it. “you like me right?” she asked. you closed your eyes in fear, you didnt want to lose her. you just nodded in response, your eyes still closed.

quinn sighed and looked at you, she knew you weren’t going to open your eyes so instead of trying to talk to you, she just placed a gentle kiss on your lips. “i like you too” she said softly. you opened your eyes slowly, making eye contact with her before kissing her again. she smiled and kissed back before laying down on her back, inviting you to lay on her. you laid your head on her chest.

“so are you gonna send me that playlist, love?”

#glee imagine #dianna agron #quinn fabray #quinn fabray imagine #quinn fabray x reader #glee fanfiction #glee #quinn #glee x reader #x reader

[mamaestapa]

The Party

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: : Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?

•chapter summary: You attend the Bengals Christmas party and have a little too much fun. One thing leads to another and you find yourself in a steamy situation with the teams beloved quarterback…

•word count: IDK I think around 6k?

•warnings: SMUT (it’s actually kinda bad lol) unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, language, drunk people, another SMUT warning

series masterlist

——————————————————

december 17, 2022

pre-hookup

"I’ll be, switchin the positions for you."

"Cookin’ in kitchen and I’m in the bedroom"

You belted out the lyrics to Positions by Ariana Grande as you put dishes away and did some much needed cleaning up in your kitchen. As you put a coffee cup away on the rack, you looked at the digital clock that sat on your wall. You knew you’d need to stop cleaning soon.

The clock read 3:45

You sighed, grabbing the last plate out of the dishwasher and drying it off. You figured you should start getting ready for the party now so that Sam wouldn't have to worry about the two of you, well more like just you being "late" to Zac’s. You are the queen of being fashionably late, but don't let Sam fool you, he is too. You can't even begin to talk about the amount of times he's been late to family get togethers because his "outfit didn't look right" or he "didn't know what to do with his hair". You swear sometimes men can be a lot worse than women in the “being fashionably late” department, good lord.

After being satisfied with how the kitchen looked for now, you decided to head to your bathroom and start getting ready for the party. You live in a one bed, one bathroom apartment in Cincinnati, Ohio. You shared an apartment with Morgan Mead,!Logan Wilson’s wife, for a while, but she never re-signed her lease so she could go live with Logan . Which you completely understood, they did just get married during the offseason. Now, living with friends is amazing,bbut sometimes it's nice to have a space all to yourself.

You walked into your grey and pink themed room and connected your phone to the bluetooth speaker sitting on the bedside table. You clicked shuffle on your playlist titled "the no skip zone". You smiled as you heard the beginning tunes to Gimme More by Britney Spears. You were more than satisfied with the song selection, so you set your phone directly em next to the speaker. You walked over to your walk in closet on the other side of your bedroom and you began to look through your clothes. You were hoping to find the red dress you planned on wearing, but you couldn’t seem to find it. It was bright red in color and form fitting with a cutout in the middle, the straps crossing over your chest to show off your cleavage. You tossed some rompers to the side, your eye’s lighting up as you saw the signature bright red color of the dress.

"Ah ha!" you smiled triumphantly. "I found it."

You carefully pulled the red fabric off the hanger and made your way to the bathroom to change. After you slipped the skin tight dress on, you moved onto styling your hair and doing your makeup. You didn't do anything too crazy and over the top, since it’s only a work Christmas party afterall. You decided on giving yourself a simple blowout. It didn't take you too long to do you hair, as you’re basically a pro at styling your hair now. Hey, what can you say? You’re a girl who loves anything to do with beauty—especially hair and makeup. Speaking of makeup, you decided to go with a more natural look for the tonight. You put on your favorite light pink blush, some false lashes, a little bit of contour and highlight on your cheekbones, and last but not least, your favorite lip plumper to finish off the look. Once you finished your makeup, you decided to put your mint chapstick into your small clutch bag.

It is a Christmas party, so you know what that means? There will be mistletoe...and if there's mistletoe, that means there's bound to be some kissing tonight. So you have to keep your lips nice and soft, because you never know who you might snog under mistletoe.

You’re just kidding, of course.

Once you were satisfied with your appearance, you took a few selfies in the bathroom mirror and posted your favorite one to your Instagram story. You captioned it: “Merry Christmas ya filthy animals❤️" Home Alone was one of your favorite movies. You turned the bathroom light off and headed back to your bedroom to grab your favorite pair of black heels. You glanced at your phone to make sure you were good on time, which you were because Sam would be at your place in about ten minutes. Well, ten minutes if he's ready on time, which you highly doubt he is. You walked over to the body mirror in the corner of your room, taking in your appearance one last time and doing any last minute fixes to your hair, makeup, and outfit. As you grabbed your clutch bag from your bedside table, you heard a knock at your front door. Wow, Sam is actually on time? That’s a first. You thought to yourself.

"Coming!" you yelled out, quickly making your way to the door to let Sam in. You brushed a piece of hair out of your face, and opened the door. You were then greeted by the face of your brother.

"Hey Y/n, you ready?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets. Sam was wearing khakis and a Black polo. Not his nicest attire, but he was definitely more dressed up than usual.

You smiled, "Yep! Just let me go grab my phone real quick, then we can go."

"Alright. Please hurry, sis." He said, chuckling sarcastically.

You rolled your eyes, giving him your best RBF, "Yeah because it's going to take me forever to find my phone." Shaking your head, you left to go grab your phone off of your nightstand, while also turning the bluetooth speaker off in the process. You looked in your body mirror one last before heading back out to the kitchen.

Sam tightly smiled, "You ready to go now? Or do you need to check yourself out one more time?”

"Sam, I swear,” you began, "if you don't shut up, I’m not going."

He laughed, "Yeah, whatever.“ He rolled his eyes, walking out of the apartment, with you following behind him.

After you were both out of the apartment, you locked the front door securely and but your key back in your wallet. You walked down the hall down a short flight of steps, and out the main doors to Sam’s car. He got in the drivers side, while you made your way to the passenger side. Once you both heard the click of your seatbelts, Sam pulled out of the parking space.

~time skip~

About fifteen minutes later, you pulled up to Zac’s house. Okay, screw house, it was more like a mansion.

“Can I take my acceptance back?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you surveyed the front lawn of the Taylor residence.

Sam laughed, "Nope. The guys would be pissed if I didn't bring their favorite social media manager."

You rolled your eyes, "Okay Sam, whatever you say,” you smirked playfully, “We don't want any pissed off boys now do we?"

Sam just laughed and turned the car off. He looked in his rear view mirror and ran his hands through his short hair. After he was satisfied with how he looked, he unlocked the car doors and stepped out onto the pavement. You stepped out of the car right as he did, your heels clicking on the concrete drive way. You took in the outside of the house once again, your eyes going wide. It had been a while since you’ve been at Zac’s house. Since the last time you were here he had made many new outside renovations. It made you wonder how different the inside looked now. You followed Sam up a few stairs and into the house. As the door opened, the smell of sweat, alcohol, and the sound of music greeted the two of you.

"We’re here!" Sam yelled, waltzing into the house.

"Aye, what's up man?" Ja’Marr Chase said, walking up to Sam and pulling him into that “bro hug” that all men do.

Ja’Marr turned to you, smiling. "Well if it isn't my favorite Hubbard sibling? How you doin’ girl?"

You smiled, pulling Ja’Marr into a quick hug. "I’m good! How about you ‘Marr?”

He chuckled, "Can’t complain."

"Hey Y/n!" You heard someone yell. You looked to see who called your name.

You smiled widely, seeing another Bengals wide receiver, one of the sweetest guys you know, Tee Higgins.

"Tee!" you yelled, "running" over to him. It was more like a little shuffle/trot mix. You didn’t want to trip and fall in front of everybody, that would be so embarrassing.

Tee picked you up and twirled you around, making a giggle escape from your lips. Tee is your best friend from the team. Well, him and Ja’Marr of course. Tee however, has been a close friend of yours since your first day working with the Bengals. You had gotten lost on hour first game day at Paycor—which was still Paul Brown stadium at the time. It’s such a huge stadium, and you had never been there before, so it makes sense why you would get lost easily. Luckily, Tee had noticed that you were lost and he helped you find your way around the stadium. Since then, the two of you have been best friends.

Tee put you back down on the ground and pulled away, giggling as you asked, “How are you?"

He grinned, “I’m great! Better now that my best friend is here though."

"Awe, thanks Tee. I could say the same about you." you said with a smile.

"Of course. I gotta go talk to some other guys, but it was great seeing you, babe." Tee said, reaching out to softly touch your arm.

"Okay, sounds good. It was great seeing you too! I’ll see you later though, don't worry." You said, blowing him a playful kiss.

You and Tee shared these gestures often with each other. It was never in a 'flirtatious' way though, just friendly.

As Tee walked away from you, you looked around to see who else was here. Ja’Marr and Sam were over in a corner laughing, beers in their hands. Tee went to talk to a group of some defensive players. Tyler Boyd, Joe Mixon, and Logan Wilson were in another part of the room, laughing wildly about something. Your eyes scanned over to the open bar, where coach Zac Taylor stood, talking to few other players. He noticed you starting to walk in his direction, so he smiled and waved at you.

"Hey Y/n, glad you could make it!" He happily smiled, pulling you into a side hug.

You hugged back, smiling. "Hey coach, thanks for letting Sam bring me.”

He nodded, "Of course, it was no problem. It wouldn't be a party without you. Do you want a drink?"

"Sure!” you nodded. A playful smirk pulled at your lips as you said, “as long as you're the bartender. I’m not sure if I trust this guy." You chuckled, patting Evan McPherson on the back.

He chuckled, "Thanks Y/n, I wouldn't trust me either."

Zac laughed, "Yeah, honestly I wouldn't trust him either,” he pay Evan on the back, “just kidding Mcpherson, I love you man."

You chuckled to yourself. Either this is what Coach Taylor is actually like outside of the stress that comes with coaching an NFL team, or he's had a lot of booze.

"What can I get you Y/n?" Zac asked, placing his palms flat on the bar counter as his lips formed a straight line, awaiting your answer.

"Got any wine? I could use a couple glasses of red."

"On it, m'lady." he said, getting a wine glass down from the rack and filling it almost to the top. He handed you the glass, "there you go, enjoy."

You smiled, reaching for the glass, “Thanks coach."

You took a big swig of the bitter, red liquid. Hey, it's been a long week, and you could really use the wine. Maybe Sam was right, you really did need to let loose—and this party would be the perfect way to do that.

You turned to Zac, "Your house looks really nice by the way, the decorations look great!"

He grinned, putting his hands on his hip. "Thanks! Sarah and I had a fun time getting all of these up last minute."

Evan laughed, "Gosh coach, I didn't know you enjoyed putting Christmas decorations up."

Zac shrugged, "Hey, when your wife offers a good time between the sheets, you'll do anything."

Yours and Evans eyes widened at Zac’s words. You brought the wine glass back up to your lips, taking a another swig. Damn, I didn't think I would ever hear that come out of Zac Taylor’s mouth. You thought to yourself.

You let out a little laugh, "Oh lord...thanks again for the drink Zac, and for letting me come to the party, I appreciate it!"

He raised his beer bottle, which was probably his 6th one of the night already. “Any time, Miss. Hubbard. See you Monday!"

You waved, goodbye to both Zac and Evan. “See you monday! Bye Evan."

Evan waved, "See ya Y/n."

You took another sip of your wine, scanning the room once again. As you were looking around at the room full of football players, you made direct eye contact with the handsome quarterback of the team: Joe Burrow. Your breath hitched as you swallowed nervously. Every time you had any sort of interaction with Joe, the butterflies started to majorly flutter. There was just something about the tall, pale blue eyed, dirty blonde haired, kind soul of a quarterback he is that made your heart flutter. You’d never admit it out loud, but he really makes you weak in the knees. Which, by the way, would really bother Sam if he found out about the effect Joe Burrow has on you.

Sam and Joe are best friends. They have been friends since college when both of them met at Ohio State University. Even through Joe’s transfer to LSU the two still were inseparable. Their friendship is so strong that you think it’s safe to assume they see each other as brothers. That’s why you could never let Sam find out about your secret attraction to Joe.

You took another swig of your liquid courage, (which was already making you slightly tipsy) and made your way over to say hello to Joe. You greeted him with a soft smile. He smiled back, waving slightly at you.

"Hey Joe, how are you?" You asked once you got close enough to where he could clearly hear you over the commotion of the party.

Joe pulled you into a hug, leaning down slightly as his arms draped tightly over your waist. You snakes your arms around his neck.

"I’m pretty good, how about yourself?"

You slightly blushed at the contact. "I’m good too, thank you." you said, starting to get flustered. The two of you pulled away and you cringed at the feeling of your sweaty palms.

Joe raised an eyebrow at you, taking a swig of his beer. "So, Sam convinced you to come, huh?"

You chuckled, finishing off the rest of you wine. "Yeah, he uh, he did. It took a little convincing, but I’m glad I agreed to come."

Joe’s mouth quirked up in a small smirk, “I’m glad you did too,” after the words left his mouth he looked down, a shade of pink tinting his defined cheeks. Either Joe was nervous, or he was just warm. It was pretty hot in here, honestly…

"Hey,” Joe cleared his throat, causing you to snap out of your thoughts, “I could use another drink, what about you?" he asked. He must have noticed your empty wine glass that was in your hand.

You smiled, tucking your right side of your hair behind your ear. "Yeah, actually, I could."

Joe chuckled awkwardly, "Heh, me too. Shall we?" he asked, holding out his arm for you. You wrapped your arm in his as he lead you back to the open bar.

You and Joe are actually friends. Not as good of friends as you and Tee are, or even Ja’Marr, but you’re still great friends. You’ve known him since you were 17 years old from him and Sam being friends. Granted, you were never really close with him like Sam is, but you’ve still known him for a long time. Joe is also one of the players you barely ever get to see while you’re at work. Most of the time you’re taking pictures, videos, or collecting information from the receivers or the defensive players—not the quarterbacks. During a typical work day, you’re lucky to even interact with Joe at all. He’s usually busy conversing with coaches about plays, techniques, and ways he can be better. However, on the rare occasions that you do see him, they're some of the highlights of your day. Plus, you just think he's really sweet...and really hot too. But you have to keep things professional. Besides, Joe is probably unaware of any of your feelings towards him, which by the way there are none. Okay fine, maybe there's some slight feelings, but that's all. Deep down you’ve always had a little crush on Joe. But he's your brothers best friend, and for the sake of their friendship, you know you can't get between that.

You followed Joe over to the open bar to fill up your drinks. As you walked through the crowds of players, Joe kept his arm linked with yours the whole time. When the two of you neared the bar, you could see Coach Taylor behind the counter pouring more drinks. Once you reached the bar, Joe put his glass down, as you did the same with yours.

Zac looked up from the shot of whisky he was pouring for himself. He smiled, the look on his face making it obvious that he was very tipsy, “Ah, Joe. What can I get for you?"

"I’ll take another Mojito please, sir."

Zac snapped and pointed at Joe. "You got it, dude."

Okay he was definitely drunk now. You giggled at Zacs little gesture. Joe turned to you, chuckling as he asked, "what?"

You shook your head, "nothing..." You got on your tip toes to whisper in his ear. Even in heels Joe was still quite a few inches taller than you, “your coach is definitely going to be blackout drunk by the end of tonight.."

Joe let out a laugh, his eyes crinkling up as he smiled, “I wish I could say you're wrong, but..."

"WOO! Almost dropped that one, oh shit-." Zac yelped from behind the counter after he dropped a beer bottle onto the floor.

Joe pursed his lip, and looked away from the scene in front of him while you just grimaced. You both, however, were trying to hide your laughter. Zac turned back to you, a drunk smile on his face as he held out a beer bottle for Joe. Joe didn’t ask for a beer, but he took the drink from his coach anyways.

"There you go, big guy. Sorry about that!"

Joe grabbed the beer, "Thanks coach. Hey, uh, how many drinks have you had..?"

Zac scoffed, "Pfftt, like five or six beers? Maybe a couple shots of whiskey here and there..."

Your eyes widened, "Dang..."

Zac turned to you, just now acknowledging your presence, “Kate!"

"Y/n." you corrected him. You tried and your best to suppress a giggle from coming out of your mouth. Kate is the other social media for the Bengals.

"Y/n!” he corrected himself, “what can I get for you?"

"I’ll have another full glass of red and how about two tequila on the rocks please."

Zac winked, "Ah tequila. My type, and Burrows type of woman too."

Joe rubbed his neck awkwardly, a blush rising to his cheeks. "He,!he's just drunk,” he said as he gestured to his coach, “I don't know what he's saying. I don't even think he knows what he's saying."

You laughed, your cheeks growing red, “It’s alright Joe, don't worry." you paused before whisper yelling up to him, "And I agree. I don't think he knows what he's saying either.”

Joe chuckled and took a swig of his beer.

"Here you," Zac hiccuped, "Go. Red wine and tequila for the lady,” he hiccuped again. "geez that's going to get annoying really quick..." he said from under his breath.

Joe put his hand up in a waving motion, “Take it easy, okay coach?“

You waved goodbye to Zac and handed Joe one of the tequilas. "Merry Christmas." you said, smiling sweetly.

He grabbed the tequila, thanking you with a soft smile.

"BYE GUYS!” Zac yelled out, making your eyes widen, “don't get too drunk, or else there’s going to be hookups, and those hookups can sometimes make babies, and no buns need to go into any ovens, not in my house at least.." Zac said, slurring his words here and there as he spoke nonsense.

Joe grabbed your waist and led the two of you away from a rambling Coach Taylor. He led you into an empty corner in Zac’s large game room. As soon as you reached the room, the two of you burst into laughter.

"Oh my god, he just kept on going,” Joe laughed.

"BYE GUYS! don't get too drunk, or else there will be hookups!" you laughed, imitating a drunk Zac.

You and Joe were to a point where you were crying from all the laughing you were doing. Had the two of you been sober, you probably wouldn't be laughing that hard at the situation. But since your systems were full of alcohol, it was the funniest thing both of you have heard all damn day. You and Joe finished off your tequilas and other alcoholic beverages while you conversed about whatever your drunk minds thought of on the spot. After finishing off your wine, you let out an annoyed sigh, obviously very drunk now.

You looked up at Joe and bit your bottom lip. "Hey.”you said, a little tipsiness laced in your voice. Joe looked up at you, his blue eyes drooping slightly, “Yeah?"

You moved closer to him and grabbed his hand, "Let’s go dance..."

Joe smirked and put a muscular arm around your waist. "Alright babe, sounds good to me."

You were way too drunk to even register that Joe had called you babe. Honestly, if anything, his actions and words just made you horny. Some people are sad drunks, crazy drunks, angry drunks, but you? You’re a horny and bubbly drunk. Hopefully Joe hasn't noticed the horny part of it yet...but you know he's definitely noticed the bubbly drunk side of you. You led Joe out to the middle of Zac’s living room. A bunch of the guys were crazily dancing with each other and the plus ones they brought. You looked around, seeing that Sam was no where in sight. As soon as you stopped in a spot for you and Joe to dance, the song No Hands by Waka Flocka started playing.

You jumped excitedly, “I love this song!”

As the lyrics started, a wave of drunken confidence hit you. You got close up to Joe and started grinding on him as the two of you threw your hands up in the air. Joe bit his lip, putting his hands gently on your waist as you grinded along to the beat. As you continued dancing all over Joe, you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. he threw his head back slightly, groaning. "Fuck..."

You bit your lip and moved yourself off him, but still continuing to dance. You started to sway your hips, and of course shake some ass to get him even more hot and bothered— which totally worked. You glanced around the room, making sure no one, especially Sam, could see you grinding on their beloved quarterback. You knew if anyone saw, you would never hear the end of it. Plus, you could lose your job for being unprofessional. But let’s face it, you shouldn't be too worried about that because even Zac Taylor was getting down to the music too. You soon noticed that everyone was too drunk and too focused on doing their own thing to even notice you and Joe, or even anyone else for that matter. You continued to do my your thing, your own thing being grinding on Joe.

The song changed to The Way I Are by Timbaland. Joe had the biggest smirk on his face, his breathing growing heavy as he watched you continue to work your magic on the “dance floor”.

"Oh god dayum!" you heard Ja’Marr yell as he approached you and Joe. Your movements against Joe came to a halt. You started laughing as Ja’Marr wiggled his eyebrows at you. You just laughed as Ja’Marr walked away to leave you and Joe alone. As the song came to an end, Joe pulled you out of the crowd of his teammates and led you to a less crowded place. He leaned down and moved your hair away from your ear.

"We need to talk. What do you say we get out of here, and go somewhere more private...please?"

You giggled. Of course he added please to the end. Even when Joe was drunk, and very much turned on he was still polite.

You looked up at him, smirking slightly. "Sure. My place or yours?"

He wrapped an arm around your waist, leaning down. His hot breath hit tickled your neck as he spoke, “Mine works. I live just down the road and...” he glanced down, “the sooner we take care of this issue the better.”

Your breath hitched as shivers went down your spine. You are definitely getting lucky tonight…

You glanced up at Joe. His chiseled jaw was clenched and his baby blues full of lust. You took your gaze away from his jawline when you noticed what was above the two of you, “Hey...look up."

Joe furrowed his brows. "Huh?"

You pointed up at the doorway. "Mistletoe," he smiled, "you know what that means?"

"I don't think so, the alcohol is really clouding my knowledge.." you joked. Of course you knew what mistletoe meant. However, you weren’t wrong about the alcohol clouding your brain, that part was very true.

Joe reached out and gently cupped your cheek, “Then why don't I just remind you?"

You pulled your head back, “Hold up, are we about to kiss right now?" you asked, a sly smile plastered on your face. You were so drunk right now…

A smile tugged at Joe’s pink lips. He leaned down, and captured your lips in a kiss. You were taken aback at first, but you of course kissed back. This is just the alcohol talking. You remind yourself. But oh did it feel amazing to be kissing the Joe Burrow. You and Joe pulled away, both of our breaths were heavy. He leaned down, his veiny hand ran up your hip and torso before it settled on the side of your left ribcage. He brought his lips to your ear.

"Stay here, I’ll be right back..." he purred.

You shivered from the sudden wave of arousal that took over your body. You involuntarily bit your lip before saying, “Joe, please hurry. I don't know how much longer I can wait."

He winked, "You and me both, sweets."

With that, he walked out of your sight. You assumed he went to say goodbye to coaches and his teammates, and of course, thank Zac for putting the party together. You should've said your goodbyes too, but your mind was too occupied on other issues anyways. You heard your phone ding. Looking down at the screen, you saw that you received a text from Sam.

Sam- Hey Y/n. I thought I’d let you know I just left Zac’s. Emma called and said she wanted to see me...😏

You rolled your eyes at your brothers text. Snickering at his message. You read the rest:

Sam- Anyways, thanks for coming tonight. I’m assuming you're having a great time since I couldn't find you before I left lol. Don’t party too hard Y/n/n, the hangovers after Zac’s parties are never fun. Also, I’m sure Tee or Ja’Marr will be happy to take you home when it's over, but if you need me to come get you, just let me know.

You smiled and replied back to his text.

You- Hey Sammy! Thanks for letting me know, have fun with Em😉 but yeah, I’m having a great time. Thank you again for convincing me to come. This party is a BLAST, like seriously. i got the ride thing covered, but thank you! see ya monday Sam:)

You hit send and re-read the message. You did sound a little drunk, so you decided to send another text to him.

You-also, i'm like SUPERR drunk so like if my messages come off a little weird, you know why lolol🤪

After hitting send again, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist. You jumped at the contact, but relaxed once you realized it was just Joe.

"You scared me!"

Joe smirked, "Oh really? Didn’t notice."

You giggled as you leaned against his hard chest. You could feel the alcohol really hitting my system now. Tequila always makes you super drunk, it never fails.

Joe cleared his throat, "I said my goodbyes to everyone, and told them you left with Sam, soooo..." he trailed off, "I’m ready whenever you are, sweetheart.”

"Mmm," you hummed, "Joe, you have no idea what you calling me sweetheart is doing to me right now...I’m so ready to get out of here."

He scooped you up in his arms and rested his forehead against yours. "you and me both...sweetheart."

You threw your head back, letting our a groan as Joe chuckled in amusement. Oh how his drunken state absolutely loved seeing the effect he has on you.

"Awe, don't do that yet,” he whispered in your ear, “save some for the bedroom."

You bit your lip and jumped out of his arms. You ran over to the front door, quickly opening it. You and Joe quickly got out of the house and made your way down the steps. As you left, you could hear the booming vibration of the loud music from outside the Taylor’s house. Grabbing your hand, Joe quickly led You to his benz. He opened the passenger door for you.

"After you,m'lady." He said, gesturing for you to get in.

You curtsied, "Thank you, sir."

Oh you both were so drunk…

You quickly sat down on the seat, immediately feeling wetness beneath you. You jumped slightly at the feeling between your thighs as Joe got in his seat and buckled his seatbelt. After pulling out of Zac’s driveway, Joe rested his hand on your upper thigh, trailing a finger up your thigh and under your dress, starting to tease you.

You let out a moan, already looking forward to the events that would be coming so soon.

Joe glanced at you, "Just you wait, in five minutes, i'll be doing a lot more than that."

~time skip~

"Jump." Joe said huskily as soon as the two of you walked in through his front door. You did as he said, jumping up so you were straddling his hips. His hands roamed your back as the two of you made out, passionately. Every once in a while you’d pull away, both of you leaving a trail of hickeys down one another's neck.

You moaned as he kissed that sweet spot on your neck. Joe gently put you down on the ground for a second, before picking you up bridal style. He walked up the flight of stairs so you could continue in the bedroom. As he carried you into the bedroom, a few articles of clothing had already made their way off of the two of you. His blazer was one, while your panties, well those made their way off your body a long time ago. Joe pushed you into the doorway, your bodies moving in sync as you made your way to his bed. The two of you hastily undressed eachother, urgency evident in your touches as there was no time for foreplay. You were both so impatient to get the fun started. You ripped Joes dress shirt off his broad, but lanky build. Your eyes trailed down his body, taking in his firm chest and muscular biceps with veins traveling down each arm. Joe wasn’t exactly ripped, but his abdomen was toned and his hips were a wonderful sight, just like those bulging thighs. Joe was absolutely perfect in your eyes.

As you took in his appearance, he began to slowly unzip your dress. Teasing you as he grazed his long fingers along the skin of your bare back. You hung your head, trying to suppress a moan from escaping from your pursed lips. Joe pulled the dress down your body, leaving you in just a strapless, red-laced bralette—which Joe had unclipped in the process of taking your dress off. Realizing that you didn't have any undergarments on anymore, your hands instinctively wrapped around your body. Joe’s expression softened as he saw you try to cover yourself from him.

"Oh Y/n,” he smiled softly, “there no need to hide from me, sweetheart. You are perfect." he cooed, pushing you gently down onto the bed and hovering his larger frame over you. You blushed, feeling so vulnerable, yet so good at the same time. Joe had a way with his words. He could be so sweet and humble one minute, but so dirty and dripping with confidence the next. What a man…

Joe gently moved your arms away from your body, taking in your figure beneath him. He sucked in a breath before he began to leave a trail of kisses down your body. Every time his soft lips came into contact with your smooth skin, it sent a wave of shivers down your entire body. As he kissed about every inch of your body, you scratched at his back, moaning with pleasure anytime he hit that sweet spot.

"Mmm..." You breathed out. Joe’s head made its way down to your area. He started to kiss your inner thigh, making sure he teased you just enough before coming up and to kiss your lips instead. His tongue begged for entrance and fought for dominance against yours. Of course, he ultimately "won" that fight. Joe pulled his pants down in one swift motion, leaving him in just his underwear. A very evident bulge had formed. You filled nervously as this all became clear to you. You are about to hook up with your brothers best friend. You’re OK Y/n. You can do this. You can do him. Just breathe. It’s not like this means anything to either of you. You’re both super drunk that you don’t even realize what you’re doing…you mentally remind yourself. There was no talking yourself out of this one, especially with the current state you’re in. It’s clear that you and Joe both want this.

Joe pulled his underwear down and threw it to the floor beside him, leaving him in nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. Your breath hitched as you eyed his cock, eyes growing darker with lust. They don’t call him “Big Dick Joe” for nothing…

Joe got back on the bed, hovering over you as he got ready to thrust himself into you.

"are you ready?" he asked, making sure you were comfortable. Even though Joe spoke in a soft tone, you could tell from his lustful eyes that he was more than ready to take you right there on his bed.

“Yes,” you nodded, “Please Joe, I need you inside of me.."you whined, barely able to keep your words from coming out in a moan. Joe smirked and grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he pushed you up against the headboard of his bed. He lined himself up with your entrance, thrusting into you repeatedly. He buried his face in your neck as you threw your head back, whimpering from the pleasure you were feeling from Joe’s rough movements. The sounds of Joe’s grunts and your whimpers filled the room, along with the sound of skin hitting skin.

“You feel so good,” Joe grunted, “Gonna make you cum so hard you won’t be able to walk.” He all but groaned out as his thrusts picked up in pace, causing your eyes rolled to the back of your head in pleasure. You threw your head back as complete bliss took over you. You arched your back and moaned like there was no tomorrow as the two of you reached your climax at the same time.

There’s no going back now…

hey loves!!

this chapter was so long omg lol. i’m already having so much fun re-writing this series! i forgot a lot of what i wrote, so it’s so much fun going back and seeing all the stuff i forgot i wrote

i apologize for the bad smut btw, i tried lol. i feel like i just can’t write it very well, but i wanted to include it for this story. if it’s cringy just LOOK AWAY and keep scrolling lmao

i hope you’re all enjoying this story so far! it’s different from welcome to the jungle, that’s for sure. but i still think you will all enjoy this one ;)

as always, thank you for reading!🤍

tags: @dandelionwrites8 @joeburreauxsworld @theflawedwriter @mrsshiesty @ann288 @ijustcrypretty @theoneandonlyfanz @wickedfun9 @venus-b @hummusxx @stainednailpolishremover @a-moment-captured @joyfulfrienddonkeybanana @alternativemadchen @erinmartin1987 @sirlewisworld @kkrenae @unhingedfangirl @sublimemusic-rebel @meameagirl @emherb10

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #joe burrow smut #daddy issues

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Fundamental Differing

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Chapter XVIII: I Gave My Life Away

pre warning: tags contain some non specific spoilers

warnings: 18+ MDNI mentions of a suicide attempt, alcoholism, narcotics addiction, depression. Adult content not meant for people under the age of 18. (spoiler for next tag!) Grinding/heavy petting, an inkling of smut. Angst, hurt feelings, heavy subject matter. reminder that this is fiction and i do not condone the actions of my characters! afab!gn!reader, they/them pronouns, rockstar!eddie, use of y/n lol i did not use y/n once!, pet names

a/n: i am… so sorry. that’s all i’ll say for now.

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.

—

January 1991

Eddie’s POV

“Eddie? Eddie!” The voice is familiar, but too far away. He can’t see anything beyond a spinning figure, but he feels the harsh slapping on his face before someone drags him by his armpits into the bathtub. “Cmon, man, please.”

Then there’s water, and it’s cold, and Eddie’s trying to move but he can’t, he can only cough and choke as the shower spray gets into his nose and mouth.

“Oh fuck, thank fucking God.” Then there are footsteps, and Eddie’s hauled out of the bathroom on a stretcher, the frantic voice following closely behind.

-

Present Day

Eddie’s POV

“Ed, they’re looking for you. Two minutes.”

Eddie nods, waving the security off and turning back to her. “You’re still in Ohio, then?”

“Yeah, seems it. Nothing really goin’ on here, though.”

“Isn’t that kind of a good thing?”

She shrugs, her lips pursed. “Guess so, if it means you’re here.”

Eddie chuckles shyly. “Well, I should get moving, or Steve will have my head.

She nods eagerly, wrapping herself tightly around Eddie’s torso, causing him to shift uncomfortably. He hasn’t seen her since before, and he realizes now he’s not that person anymore. It causes his heart to skip with anxious energy.

“See ya.” She sends him a wink, and he waves as she turns on her heel to venture back into the crowd.

The security guard is still there, humming the chorus to Under The Bridge as it plays out of the house speakers, leaning against the wall as he waits for Eddie to finish with the pretty, dainty girl he’s with, and Eddie returns to him like a scolded child. “Alright, let’s go.”

“That your girl?” He asks, making small talk with the rockstar he has likely no interest in.

Eddie shakes his head. “God, no. A friend, maybe. Not even that much, not anymore.”

“Guy like you doesn’t need to dwell on that, man. Sure you got plenty of ladies lined up for a chance with you.”

He snorts, amused by this guy’s casualty. “You’d be surprised.”

The guard escorts Eddie all the way to the stage, where Steve is seething and huffing about, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “Sorry, sorry. Ran into someone.”

Steve’s expression softens slightly at the mention. “Was it-“

“Yeah. But it’s fine, really. Civil, even.”

“Right. In that case, I’m still mad at you,”

“Sure, of course. Can we hold off on my discipline until after the show?”

Steve runs a hand through his hair, breathing deeply as if to prevent himself from taking a swing at Eddie. “Fine. Go.”

Eddie bows his head to thank him, and takes his place next to his bandmates, who’d been left waiting restlessly for their frontman, again. “Hey-“

“Shut up.” Jeff silences him. “Don’t wanna hear it.” And it’s fair. They shouldn’t have to listen to his excuses. He’s supposed to be working on himself, and all he’s managed to do is piss off the people that matter to him most. The house lights dim, and Eddie watches as the crowd grow feral, shoving toward the stage, shaking the metal barricades standing between them and the stage. His heart thumps in his ears, in time with the crowd’s eager chants of “COFFIN, COFFIN,” a command he’s inclined to obey. It drags him forward, led by his band onto the stage to present themselves to a mass of people that want to tear them apart.

The stage lights up with the first chord, and Eddie hears the audience beyond his monitor. He looks back to Gareth, who’s awestruck at the noise, then to Jeff who holds his hand over his chest, genuinely thanking these people for coming. Eddie wants to feel it, too. The warmth these people seem to offer his friends, but he’s somewhere else. He can’t get used to it, like he’s wearing shoes half a size too small. It makes him shift uncomfortably inside his skin, constantly feeling the eyes of thousands on him, relying on him, there for him. It’s then that he realizes he’s sober on stage, for the first time in five years.

He’d stuck to his word, now twenty four hours without consuming a drop of alcohol. He feels his chest tighten, like a hand made of knives has broken open his ribcage to squeeze his heart until it pops. His lungs will fill with his own blood and he’ll choke, he watches as it flashes before him, a panic stricken fantasy but Eddie wouldn’t say unrealistic.

His friends are looking at him. The crowd is calming with their increased confusion; a late start and now a strange, empty pause. He has to fill it. He can’t find you, and he’s taking too long, and it’s starting to confuse his band, so he shouts into the blackness “HELLO, COLUMBUS!” and the room combusts with the release of tension. “I am so sorry we’re late. Thank you for waiting. Let’s burn this fucking place down.” Gareth hits his sticks together, both a warning and a courtesy that there’s no stopping now, and Eddie rides the momentum. He nails every incoming note without thought, and he can feel the vibrations through the building, both of the music and the crowd. He gets the same rush he used to, when he was wide eyed and bushy tailed, younger and in love with the life of a rockstar. For a second, he feels it again, in the same place he’d felt the least alive at this time two years ago.

-

Your POV

“What the hell!” You stomp up to Steve, screaming over the noise of the stage into his face. “Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Steve only smirks. “How does it feel, huh? To not have a fucking clue what’s going on? He’ll tell you. I can’t-“

“Blah!” You throw your hands into the air, “I get it, you can’t tell me. Just… who’s the girl?”

Steve’s smile only grows. “Are you jealous?”

You groan, more from exhaustion than embarrassment. “Of course I’m fucking jealous, Steve! Don’t play dumb! Please, don’t make me feel stupid.”

His face falls, and he grabs you by the shoulders, jolting you into focus. “You have nothing to worry about. That I do know.”

It’s not enough, but it’s all you’re gonna get. You can’t help but respect it, the commitment to keeping Eddie’s business to himself. Truth be told, Steve is probably dying to tell you. “It’s that big, huh?” He nods sadly, and you mirror him in understanding. “But he’s going to tell you. He’s gonna tell you everything, and it’s gonna be a lot to digest. So I’ll be here when he tells you.”

“Steve, you’re scaring me.”

He nods. “That’s my intention. You might not get the answers you want, but you’ll get answers.”

-

You watch the tail end of their set with your brain going in circles. What could Steve possibly mean, the answers you don't want? What answers do you want? Who’s the girl, for starters. But mostly, what happened, in the two years without contact? What made you so angry? You can’t imagine an answer heavy enough to break you, not off the top of your head. Whatever it is, you want it. Even if it’s just to understand Eddie a little more. Even if it means he can’t be with you. Even if it means you have to let him go.

“Thank you!” Eddie shouts after the final note of a song you couldn’t name. “Thanks for comin’ out, Columbus!” The crowd shrieks, ratting your brain inside your head. “And give it up again for DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!” The crowd politely continues cheering, and a small girl next to you sends you a bright smile. “So, so grateful to have them on this whole tour with us, you have no idea.” Eddie laughs bashfully, out of character for him to do while on stage. It’s a small thing, something you shouldn’t have noticed, but of course you did. He’s nervous. You squint, as if it will help you read him better, and it doesn’t. “This is our last song, I wanna hear you all. Loud as you can, alright?” The crowd whoops, and Corroded Coffin start in on Sweetheart, and you almost choke on your tears immediately.

Eddie has always said the closing song is the most important. It’s the one freshest in their mind, the one that will stick with them the most. It has to be perfect. He’d never used Sweetheart as the closer, and it’s obvious Gareth and Jeff weren’t ready for it, probably assuming Eddie skipped it reading the setlist. Eddie’s voice shakes slightly as he sings, but it’s perfect. His eyes stay closed the whole time, and you desperately wish he’d open them, find you in the wings, and sing the words to you again. Like he had, any time you’d asked him to just because you could. You sing along, lose yourself in the lyrics for the first time in years, actually hearing the words meant for you.

And then it’s over, and they’re thanking the crowd and bowing, and walking off stage, and even though you know you’re gonna see it all again night after night, even though you have seen it tens of times already, you miss it. The feeling of a shrieking crowd feeling all of their feelings while you feel yours. The feelings you hope you can give to your own audience. You feel like a teenager seeing their favorite band for the first time, and you’d forgotten how good that felt.

Robin seems to appear from thin air next to you. “Hey!” She semi-shouts over the bustling crowd. “Are you crying?” It’s a question you should absolutely be used to by now. You hadn’t noticed this time, though. “Oh!” You sniff, wiping a tear from your cheek. “Yeah, guess I was. Not sad, though.” Not necessarily true, but for now a nonissue.

“We’re all goin’ out tonight.”

You shake your head. “I’ll catch up.” She frowns at you. “It’s okay! I’ll tell you everything I can after.”

The possibility of a gossip session soothes her curiosity, and she squeezes your arm before continuing to wiggle through the crowd. You follow her backstage, into the massive dressing area backstage, where Eddie sits with his bandmates in a circle of metal fold out chairs, each of them holding a beer. Besides Eddie, who fiddles with the label of his water bottle.

“Right!” Jeff pats Eddie’s knee as he speaks, “We’re goin’ out. celebrating our biggest show to date.”

It’s then that Eddie lifts his eyes and catches you staring. You don’t bother averting yours to the floor, already having been caught red handed. “Do you guys mind if I sit this one out? I uh, have a prior engagement.” The girl, you’re sure. The girl you have nothing to worry about, the girl Eddie knows in the nowhere state of Ohio. You chew on the inside of your lip until you draw blood, anxious and suddenly unsure of everything Steve had tried to warn you about.

“Yeah, man, of course. Come out if you change your mind, though.” With that, Gareth and Jeff exit the room, and your friends follow suit soon after, leaving you and Eddie alone.

-

Eddie’s POV

Now, I have to do it right now. “Hey,”

You face him, eyes wide with questions he so desperately wants to answer for you. Your hands are clasped tightly together, your knuckles white and arms flexed, jaw clenched. “You wanna get some coffee?”

Your nod is vigorous, and he holds his elbow out for you. You quickly latch onto him, and Eddie feels just how anxious you must be. He can’t imagine where your head’s at, with your nightmares and your constant, irritating habit of caring about him so much. He’s exhausting you, and all he wants now is to let you rest.

Eddie asks a remaining staff member to escort the two of you out the back way, and into the warmth of the summer night. “Is there even somewhere that sells coffee around here? Let alone somewhere that’s open?” You joke, and he chuckles.

“I guess I didn’t think that far ahead. Ah!” He points down the road, to the glowing 7-Eleven sign. “Onward!” You laugh, and it floods through Eddie, like it’s drenching his head in ice water, refreshing him. He’s since dropped his arm, but yours stays locked around him, like if you let go he’d run away. As if he’d ever think to do such a thing.

He breaks the thick silence finally, after several minutes of walking through it. “You uh, said you wanted to talk?”

You look up at him. “I did?”

“Yeah, uh, this morning? We didn’t really get the chance.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah I guess so. I just,” You shake your head, frustrated, “I have questions.”

“Okay,” Eddie shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. He wants to give you the answers. Finally, he wants to be completely open with you.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, shoot. I’ll answer your questions.”

“Any of them?”

“All of ‘em, sweetheart.” He can’t help it, he loves watching you shy away at the nickname, cute and soft, under all that armor.

-

Your POV

“Okay…” You have to be careful. One wrong move, and he’s shutting you out again. “Where’d you go tonight?” A subtle way to ask it, you think. Not accusatory, just curious, bordering on nosey.

“I ran into an old friend. From group.” You snap your neck, catching the words he says so casually.

“Group?”

Eddie nods, “NA-slash-AA.”

This is nowhere near where you thought this conversation would go. Every question you’d had crumbles at his answer. “What?”

“I’m more of a casual attendee, lately.” You feel your head fill up with more questions, and you’re drowning. “When did you-“ You’re expecting him to cut you off, but he waits. “When did you start going to meetings?”

Eddie looks to the sky as if to find the answer in the blackness above. “Early into 1991. There was still snow on the ground.”

“What um,” You’re walking the tightrope here, and you heed Steve’s warning. “What made you decide to go?”

Eddie looks at you again, his expression sad. “Had a really, really bad night.”

“What happened?” You ask, too quickly. It’s not fair, and you don’t have any right to know the answer, but Eddie snorts a laugh, like this news isn’t breaking your heart to learn. “Steve saved my life. I’m surprised he hasn’t divulged this story to you, even with the fact that I begged him not to tell anyone. Took me years to even tell the guys. I had gotten so bad, I didn’t care what happened to me. I was drinking myself to sleep every night, wallowing in self pity, barely able to function. I was worse than any time before. Worse than I was when you’d called me that night.”

“What night?”

“You were drunk, you probably don’t remember. Sometime in September of the year before, I’d been up all night trying, and you called me at home.” The memory comes back in a tidal wave. You’d just finished recording your EP, your first cohesive body of work, and with it had been signed to Sub Pop. Things had been looking up for you after cutting things off with him in July, but somewhere far away, Eddie had been drowning.

Before you can say anything, he continues, “Anyway, we were on a kind of hiatus as a band, had been for about a year at this point. I had nothing to get me out of bed before three in the afternoon, nothing to distract me from my pity party. I went out every night, drank until I couldn’t see, and did lines in the bathroom with people I didn’t care to know. I probably slept with six or seven different people a week, sometimes more. I couldn’t stop, because then I’d have to feel my feelings, and I was so afraid of them. One time,” He has the gall to chuckle, “after I got kicked out of a bar in New York for trying to fight the bouncer, I was so wasted and beaten that I fell asleep in my front yard with my pants around my ankles. Really glad I don’t have neighbors.”

It all pours out so easily now, like he’s telling you about his trip to the grocery store. “I uh, only got worse after that.” He stops, and you look up at him, waiting with wide, stinging eyes. “You sure you want me to keep going?” You nod. You don’t want to know, but you have to. As much as you suspect it’s gonna hurt, it means something that he’s finally willing to tell you.

He pushes forward. “On New Year's Eve of ‘91, I mixed whiskey and Steve’s Xanax. Way too much of it. Harrington found me passed out in the bathroom of my hotel room at around 1AM and called an ambulance. I'd written a note and everything.”

He pauses again to let you digest it all, and the silence sends a piercing ring through your ears. The words coming out of his mouth feel so far away, disconnected from the mouth they’re coming from. You’d never known Eddie to give up. Nothing had stopped him before; from finishing high school, from getting out of Hawkins, from being a rockstar. Regardless of how angry, or frustrated, or beaten he'd gotten, Eddie had always bounced back.

He finally pulls you from your thoughts. “That was the worst of it, but it had been a long time coming. When we were,” He gestured lamely to the air, “seeing each other, I was usually either on a run or coming down. I didn’t hide it well, I was almost sure you’d known, or at least suspected something. I was so angry and twitchy all the time. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t bring you into it, though. I never wanted you to know, and in a lot of ways I still don’t. Actually, please tell me you don’t wanna know. I’ll shut right the fuck up.”

“Nice try, but you underestimate how nosey I am.” He laughs, and you smile despite it all. “When did you start, I guess doing coke?” He doesn’t think about it for long. “Ironically, New Year’s Eve 1990 was the first time. I was a pro at it by May. I'd been drinking heavily for years by then, guess I wanted to jazz it up to ring in the new decade.” He stops walking and pivots to look at you, suddenly eager, and in no way aware of how jarring what he’d just said was. “Do you remember when I would get nosebleeds all the time, or when I’d sneeze and there’d be a giant snot bubble?” You nod, your face contorting with disgust at the memories. You remember a specific time, when you’d been making out with him in his hotel room in Boston, and his nose had just started dripping blood onto your bare chest. He’d gotten so pissed off at himself he’s left without putting his shirt or shoes back on. “Yeah, that had nothing to do with the humidity. Deep down, I think you knew that.”

He’s right, but you can still feel the crack in your heart spiderweb and spread as you hear these suspicions about Eddie confirmed.

“When was the last time?”

“The first or second night of the tour, I think.”

“Are you still drinking?” Dustin’s question makes more sense to you now. You wonder how he’d found out.

Eddie hesitates, as if fighting himself on whether to answer truthfully. “I didn’t today. It’s the first full day I’ve gone in a while. Touring is always difficult, and I’m sure you understand why this time is uh, particularly stressful.”

“Because of me.” Obviously.

“Because I know how badly I’ve hurt you, and because I know I haven’t made it up to you yet. I haven't earned your trust or even your time by any means, and I hate that you’re seeing me like this when you should be enjoying your first full US tour.” He chokes the last words out. You’ve stopped walking again, waiting at a deserted intersection, not yet ready to cross. “I’ve been fucking up recently, which is why I haven’t said anything. It’s not because I don’t want you. I want you so, so much. I just can’t do it yet.”

“Eddie,” You reach for him, and he lets you. You hold his face in your hands, feeling his flushed cheeks warm your palms as you look at him under the streetlights. “You don’t earn things like help and support, Eddie, not from people that-“ You pause. Not now, it’s not fair. “People that care about you. Thank you for telling me, I can’t imagine what you must be feeling; surrounded by triggers at all times, having to see me so much. I never would have agreed to the tour if I’d known—,“

He cuts you off, shaking his head, wafting the scent of his shampoo at you. “Don’t do that, please. This is not your fault, this is my own undoing. You are exempt from blame here.”

“I wish I’d known you were struggling. I wish I could have helped.”

Eddie traps your hands with his own on his face. “I know. I do, too.”

A sob shoves its way through your lips, and you can’t rebuild the dam fast enough. You’re crying, ugly sobbing with snot and mascara painting your face into a sad clown. It may be a cry of relief, having finally understood where your love had gone, so to speak, and seeing a glimpse of him right now. A version of Eddie happy, warm. He smiles at you, a big, beautiful smile, but his eyes are so sad. “I wish I had known to ask. Would have saved us both so much trouble.” Eddie drops his hands to your waist and pulls you closer to him, your coffee quest long forgotten. “I am so sorry.”

“Thank you.” You do not fight it, because there’s so much for him to be sorry for, regardless of if you want the apology. You trust that he means it. “I won’t push you for anything else. But I need you to ask for help, when you need it. I'm not gonna turn you away.” You wrap your arms around his torso, as physical proof of your words. You feel his arms as they surround your head, and he pulls you further into his chest. His breathing deep and even, heart beating soundly, you let yourself inhale him, indulge in his closeness even for a second. You eventually start to pull away, but he catches you, and you crane your head up to look at him, your nose inches away from his. Eddie’s eyes flick to your lips. It’s a fraction of a second, but you notice because you always do. You mimic him, flicking your eyes over his soft, pink lips and back to his deep, sweet brown eyes.

He moves first, but you’re quick to follow, and Eddie catches your lips with his, and you fight the urge to once again burst into tears. The kiss is one you haven’t felt in so long, like sleeping in your own bed after months being crammed inside a van or a two star motel. It’s a deep, yearning type of kiss you hadn’t known you were missing. Eddie moves a hand to cradle your head, like he’s holding the most valuable thing in the world. He’s gentle, almost timid, like the wrong move will ruin everything, break you both into pieces you won’t be able to fit back together. His lips are so soft, with no aggression or anxiety behind them, no nervous, frantic energy like he needs to consume you before you disappear. He takes his time, and you swim in the calm of it all. You rest your hand on his jaw, your finger lightly brushing his ear, the other stuck with your palm against his chest, squished between your bodies.

The last time Eddie kissed you like this was the day before he almost died. Before he cut that stupid sheet rope and tried to be a hero, he’d held you like you were the only thing on earth worth dying for. This time, though, there’s no rush, no impending doom to cut it short. You wonder if you’re pushing it, if this is too much for him, because it’s almost too much for you.

You pull away for a second. “Is this allowed?”

He quirks an eyebrow. “I think I know what you’re asking, but what do you mean?”

“Like, while you’re recovering. Shouldn’t you be more focused on that?”

Eddie shrugs. “Probably. And I will be. But I’m sober right now, at least, and all I can think about is you. And now you know everything, and you still kiss me like I’ve always been worthy of it. Even when I’m still not.”

“Do I really know everything now?” You lace your fingers through his and resume your walk.

He looks at you. “Do you have more questions?”

You have so many, but you’re so tired, so emotionally drained. “What do you think about, when you think about me?”

Eddie snorts a laugh at your question and you hide your face in your free hand. “Nothing good. You’re under my skin, doll. Always have been. Hey, look at that,” you look to where he’s pointing, the bright lights of the 7-Eleven store. “I’m kinda over coffee. You wanna watch a movie? For old time’s sake?” You nod wordlessly as your heart skips about, and he opens the door for you so you can grab some snacks instead.

-

Another hotel room, with boring white walls and bright white bed sheets. Eddie’s suitcases already sit in the corner, placed there by the hotel staff, complimentary mints on the pillows. Eddie flicks the bedside lamps on before fiddling with the remote, and you immediately realize, you’re once again without your own clothes. “Could I borrow-“ Eddie throws a shirt that lands perfectly draped over your face and you’re overwhelmed with his scent. “Thanks.” You deadpan, removing the fabric. He’s tossed a pair of his shorts onto the bed in front of you as well, and you’re silently grateful, because you wouldn’t have asked for them. He quickly flings his shirt off his head, and you watch as he swaps his jeans for a pair of worn flannel pajama pants.

Eddie then clicks the TV on, searching the channels aimlessly for something to watch before quickly giving up, muting it on a late night talk show. “How are you doing?” He’s already sprawled on the bed, resting his head in his hand to look at you, still in your clothes.

“I’m just digesting, I guess.” You face away from him to pull your sweat soaked shirt over your head and toss it on the floor, feeling his eyes on your bare back. You never wear a bra onstage, but you’re regretting it now. You yank Eddie’s shirt over your head to hide your butt as you yank your tights down, suddenly very aware of the color of your panties: red, and far too lacy for these circumstances. You yank Eddie’s boxers up your legs, and feel decent enough to face him again.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” He blurts as you slide into the space next to him, on top of the covers still.

“What do you mean?”

“After dark, sharing a bed, sharing my clothes,” He gestures to you, dressed head to toe in Eddie Couture. “Someone might see us. People are gonna start getting suspicious.”

“You think they’re not already?” You shift to lay on your side, now looking at him straight on. “We aren’t exactly being discrete as of late.”

He gives you a half shrug. “Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

“The fans, making assumptions.”

You think about your choice of words. “I thought it would. I think it bothered me more that they weren’t right.”

Eddie cracks a goofy smile, and you swat at him uselessly. “You want to be having a steamy secret affair with the douchebag frontman of Corroded Coffin?” He teases, poking at you.

“Oh, shut up.” There’s no malice in your voice. “You know what I mean. They have it all figured out. We’re together, in love, not ready to share it with the world or whatever. Much less complicated than whatever it is we’re actually doing.”

Eddie considers this for a moment. “Guess that’s true. I don’t think I could explain any of what we’re doing to Steve, let alone the public.”

You sigh. Poor, ignorant Steve. There’s only so much you’d be able to tell him for sure. “He’d have a heart attack.”

“I’ve already spooked him enough for a whole lifetime, I can’t drop this bomb on him too.”

“Let’s not worry about that. We don’t even know what we’re doing.”

“I just know I wanna keep doing it.” The way he says it sends you reeling instantly, drawing you into him, closing the distance between his lips and yours. You melt into him, wrapping your leg around his waist as he grips the flesh of your hip. Your hand slides effortlessly into his hair, tangling around your fingers, pulling a moan from Eddie’s throat as you tug him further into you. You can feel his gentry twitch in his pants, only a few thin layers of fabric separating him from your core. You roll your hips against him, sighing as his tip bumps against your clit, desperate for friction.

Eddie moves, latching his lips onto your throat causing your brain to fog. Your chest heaves as he nips at your skin, marking you, making your head swim with pleasure. You feel his fingers toying with the hem of his t-shirt, his calloused fingers sliding under the fabric to caress your skin, sending chills up and down your whole body. You shiver, and he pulls away. “Wanna stop?”

“Shouldn’t we?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

So you kiss him again, hungrier now. You help him yank his shirt over your head, abandoning it on the floor next to yours. Eddie shifts again, pressing your bare chest against his before breaking the kiss suddenly. “May I, uh,” He stutters like he’s a nervous teenager again, as if he’s seeing his first pair of boobs ever.

“Please.” You sigh, and it propels Eddie on, shifting down the bed until he’s eye level with your chest.

“God, I missed you.” He rasps, and you don’t have time to ask if he’s talking to you or your tits before he runs his tongue over your nipple, pulling a whine from your throat. You feel his other hand slide down your torso, freezing when it reaches the waistband of his boxers. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you let me take care of you?”

—

chapter XIX

haha hehe hahahahah ha ha. ha

tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @littlepotatobeansworld @poisonedluv @kellsck @m-chmcl-rmnc

#eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson fanfic #rockstar!eddie #angst #smut #fluff #more angst #st4 #stranger things fanfiction #strangerthingscentral #90s au #au where eddie lives #fd #new kid fic #munson #afab!reader #gn!reader #they/them!reader #fics #y/n

[satansapostle6]

The Man Who Sold The World | Luke Castellan

Spotify Playlist Link

Katherine. She was the one who started it all for Luke Castellan, the reason he did what he did.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Two

Chapter Three: Living Like Kerouac

“I’m gonna fill up on gas,” Katherine Montalvo announced as she got out of the driver’s seat of the car. “Why don’t you go get us some food to ration.”

“Alright,” Luke agreed as he got out. “Regular, or sour cream and onion?” he asked enthusiastically.

“As someone who’s gonna spend the duration of the trip sitting next to you, regular,” she insisted. “Your breath was hot this morning.”

Luke just rolled his eyes as he walked off toward the gas station, exhausted. It had been almost a full day since he and Katherine had fled from Oklahoma. The two of them had been taking turns driving all the way back to New York, only stopping for gas. Unlike Katherine, Luke was unable to take full advantage of his driving breaks, and had only gotten about three total hours of sleep that night.

Luke was having difficulty relaxing in general, and not just because he didn’t quite trust Katherine yet. He’d spent most of his time awake contemplating how he would justify his leaving the camp to go chasing Kronos in the Underworld with Katherine.

He knew he needed a lie, or multiple, that would explain his absence at least during the trip to the Underworld. Anxiously looking back at Katherine to ensure she wouldn’t abandon him at the strange gas station in Ohio, Luke considered his options as he made sure to get coffees for the two of them in order to keep them awake.

“Man, your girlfriend’s a real beauty,” the gas station cashier, a man most likely in his early forties, said as he rang up his stuff.

Luke’s brows furrowed in disgust, as he elected not to dignify the comment with a response. Leaving the store with a plastic bag full of rations for their road trip, he discreetly dipped his hand into the boxes of candy by the register on the way out.

Katherine had been waiting in the car with the door open for the gas to be done pumping. Luke climbed into the passenger’s seat, setting the bag on his lap.

“Are you more of a chocolate person, or a sour candy person?” he asked her.

She just looked at him for a moment, eventually smiling softly at the thought of candy. “Sour candy.”

“Here,” he offered, handing her a pack of sour straws. “Five finger discount.”

“And you say you’re not used to living on the road,” she smirked, popping a piece of candy into her mouth before getting out to pay for the gas.

“You need the cash?” Luke asked her, holding up the wad of money she kept in the car.

“Nope.”

He frowned as he waited for her to come back, not sure what she had up her sleeve. He hungrily scarfed down a sandwich he’d gotten, relieved to finally be able to eat something that didn’t come in a sealed bag. Katherine eventually returned, starting the car as they drove off.

“How’d you pay for the gas?” Luke asked curiously.

“I played ‘hello titty’ with the cashier,” she said absentmindedly as she steered back onto the road.

“People are disgusting,” he thought, appalled.

“Hey, if it gets me gas, I’m not complaining.”

“Fair enough,” Luke admitted. “You seem to have picked up all sorts of survival tactics.”

“Yeah, that’s the reason I’m still alive,” Katherine pointed out.

He knew this was true, as yesterday after they left, he watched her pull into an empty parking lot to switch the license plate on the car so that it couldn’t be traced as stolen. However risky and innovative they were, Katherine had her own survival techniques that she didn’t stray from anymore.

“Yesterday, when the cops drove past while we were stealing the car… Why was kissing me the first thing that popped into your head?” Luke wondered in amusement.

“Nobody questions people who are making out,” she responded evenly, “No one focused on doing anything stops to make out.”

“But, the cops weren’t looking for us,” he stated.

“What, I can’t be safe?” she smirked, locking eyes with him for a moment before turning her attention back to driving.

Luke just chuckled softly, seeing that she did, in fact, have a sense of humor. Katherine did have a certain way about her, even when she was being frustratingly vague about herself, or her plan. But however frustrating it could be, Luke didn’t resent her for her secretiveness; he respected that it was strategic, and a habit formed by trauma.

Luke had decided to trust Katherine Montalvo solely because he trusted the intelligent glimmer in her nearly black eyes. Something about her dared him to fall into her, like a fly into a web.

“You know, I never asked your full name,” Katherine said out loud as she sipped on the coffee Luke had gotten her.

“Castellan,” he informed her. “I’m Luke Castellan.”

“Alright, we’re even now,” she nodded. “You know. I haven’t given out my real name to anyone in months.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” he remarked. “You keep multiple driver’s licenses in your glove compartment. How’d you even get those?”

“I have a guy who does favors for me,” Katherine replied.

“In exchange for what?” he asked, not too sure he wanted the answer.

“I saved his life,” she provided.

“Oh. Yeah, that’ll do it,” Luke nodded.

The conversation reached a natural pause as the two of them were focused on different things, the radio playing Creedence Clearwater Revival quietly in the background.

“You know, I can tell you don’t hate me,” Luke said aloud, watching her for micro expressions of emotion. “Why don’t you just talk to me, and this’ll go by a lot faster?” he suggested.

“I am talking to you,” she said impatiently.

“No, you’re not,” he argued.

“We’re having a conversation right now.”

“A conversation about not having a conversation isn’t a conversation,” Luke pointed out.

“Are you always this difficult?”

“Are you always this cold?” he stared at her expectantly.

“Sorry,” Katherine muttered, “I don’t like small talk.”

“Me neither,” he said pointedly. “Who said we have to make small talk?”

“What, you’re trying to talk to me about the fabric of the universe right now?” she questioned.

“No, not necessarily,” he answered. “Just about… real things.”

“Okay, and what are these ‘real things’ that seem to be consuming your every thought?” she asked finally.

“What’s your relationship with your mom like?” Luke pondered.

There was a heavy pause before he got a response.

“Nope. Too deep. Pick something else,” Katherine refused adamantly.

“Oh, so you don’t wanna make small talk, but you don’t like to talk about anything ‘deep’,” he concluded.

“Yeah.”

“So what do you talk about?” he demanded incredulously.

“Usually,” she said impatiently, “I don’t.”

“I get it,” Luke’s demeanor softened, “I really do. Most of the people I talk to in a day, their responses to my deepest, darkest demons aren’t much better than their small talk.”

“I don’t talk to a lot of people. I haven’t for a long time,” Katherine admitted. “The only people I bother really talking to are other demigods I meet, and there aren’t many.”

“You really hunt alone?”

“Yeah, I always have,” she nodded firmly. “That’s how I learned.”

“You know, we went different paths, but our lives haven’t been that different,” he told her.

“Yeah. Anyone with a god for a parent’s guaranteed to have it pretty rough,” Katherine agreed.

“I take it Nemesis definitely isn’t a better parent than Hermes?”

As she stopped for a moment, he wondered if she’d actually answer the question.

“My dad… he never cared about claiming me. Not really,” Luke shared. “I… I spent years, devising schemes, and acting out, trying to get his attention.”

“Did it work?” Katherine asked subsequently.

“What do you think?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Right,” she nodded in understanding.

“You know, I’m head counselor of the Hermes cabin. It’s for children of Hermes, and minor gods, and the unclaimed. The stories I’ve heard, and the things that I’ve seen…” he trailed off quietly. “You’d think there were no gods.”

“Well. When it comes to them, knowing they exist doesn’t really do us any good,” she muttered.

“No. It doesn’t,” she scoffed. “My mother… the only thing she ever did for me was tell me to leave my dad. No shit, Mom.”

“That’s when you heard her voice?” Luke asked.

“Yeah. You know, my whole life, the only way I knew she was my mother was when the people I got mad at, the people I really hated, got theirs,” she remembered.

“Being a demigod is just years of waiting for people to get their karma,” he remarked bitterly.

“Listen,” she offered, “My mother is the goddess of balance, and retribution. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this world, it’s that sometimes, you have to be the karma.”

Luke studied her for a moment, watching the way her long, dark hair cast a shadow over her face. He felt what he knew she was feeling, the years of hatred and resentment after all the things he’d seen outside of the safety of the camp.

“You think so too?” he asked her.

Katherine nodded with certainty. “You know how many people have told me to just ‘wait’ for my father to change? People don’t just get what’s coming to them because it happens out of nowhere, people get what’s coming to them because someone wakes up and decides it’s so.”

She had a passion in her he’d never seen in another person before.

“I want to find Kronos,” she told him. “Not because I think he’ll somehow magically be a parent. I don’t need a parent anymore; I need retribution. We all do. That’s why I’m doing this.”

Luke thought about what she said, realizing that he really did believe in the same things she did. He didn’t just believe in the search for Kronos, he believed in Katherine. Katherine was a true warrior. Seeing the way she’d saved his life on multiple occasions now, Luke saw that Katherine was a soldier who had what it took to win whatever war she was fighting in.

Hours passed, and Luke still didn’t find himself having any doubts at all about their journey.

“Katherine. I’m starving,” he complained as he drove.

“Want me to see if we still have some jerky left?” she offered.

“Yeah, as appealing as that sounds, don’t you think we could stop for a real meal?” he hoped. “There’s a diner just after this exit.”

“Alright, fine,” she sighed. “I could use a chicken fried steak.”

“Me too,” Luke groaned, anxiously continuing down the highway.

The two headed into the restaurant, as Katherine made it a point to leave her hunting utility belt in the car along with most of its contents. They sat down in a booth as far from everyone else in the restaurant as they could get, smiling softly as a woman brought them menus.

“God, I’m glad to have some real food,” Luke sighed with relief.

“Is that broken dagger seriously all you have?” Katherine piped up.

“Well, I lost my sword on my quest to find this old artifact for Chiron,” he explained.

“Well, I meant to give you this, so no one catches us off guard,” she told him, handing him what looked like a bronze Zippo lighter. “It clicks into a sword.”

“Oh. Nice,” he nodded, “Hey. What’s your weapon? Besides the gun, I mean.”

“I have this,” she replied, fishing something out of her pocket.

Luke watched as she pulled something out of her pocket. He saw that she had a weapon of some sort which appeared like a golden tube of lipstick until twisted.

“That’s cool,” he remarked, genuinely impressed as she pocketed the weapon. “Is it a sword?”

“Double-edged spear,” she corrected. “Fought some demigod in Missouri for it.”

“Well, thanks for the sword,” Luke smiled, feeling an affinity for her as a fellow demigod. “I would've been fine with my dagger, though.”

“Daggers are useful, but not a good weapon to be stuck with,” Katherine shook her head.

“Yeah. But you have to be pretty skilled to defend yourself with just a dagger,” he reasoned.

“Yeah, but you should never let anyone close enough to be able to stab them with a dagger,” she reasoned.

What she said sunk in deeply for Luke, as the pair ordered their food. Both of them ate practically in silence, enjoying the simple food as if it were their last meal.

“Finally, a decent coffee,” Katherine huffed.

“I’m not a huge fan of coffee,” Luke confessed, “Apart from days where I need to stay awake, I don’t really drink it.”

“I love coffee. Just the right amount of cream, and it’s the best thing ever.”

Luke took the calming sight of her in as she sipped on her mug of coffee, appreciating the way she actually looked serene as she drank it. He observed that coffee, to Katherine, was the closest thing to heaven.

“We should be in New York soon,” Luke informed her over dinner.

“Just a couple more hours, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking around the room as he noticed a strange man lurking in a lone booth. “Hey, Katherine?”

“Yeah,” she looked up.

“Is it just me, or… has that guy over there not turned a page in his book in the past twenty minutes?” he asked, turning around.

Katherine slowly looked up above his tall head, scanning the possibly suspicious stranger.

“We need to leave,” she announced under her breath, quickly leaving cash on the table. “Let’s go.”

“Is he a monster?” Luke whispered.

“Yes. Now act normal,” she shoved him forward.

“Duck!”

Katherine followed Luke’s lead, the both of them springing into action as a giant stinger nearly hit them. The other patrons in the restaurant all ran around screaming, as Katherine and Luke both drew their weapons.

Katherine ducked behind a table as Luke slashed at the monsters with his sword.

“They’re Manticores! Two of them!” Luke warned her as he slashed at the lunging creature. “They found us!”

Katherine fished in her pocket, pulling out what looked like a tiny grenade. Luke looked back to see her pull the pin, tossing it out as an invisible mist filled the room.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he yelled over the slashing of his sword.

“It’s a Mist Grenade! Cleans up and alters memories,” Katherine told him, spear swinging as she charged at the Manticores.

Luke held his own as she expertly whipped the spear over her head, slicing off the head of a Manticore as Luke evaded the lion-like creature’s claws, plunging his new sword into its chest. He watched as the creature dropped, slicing off its head. He panted hard, turning Katherine as she sheathed her spear back into a tube of lipstick.

“Are you alright?” Luke’s eyes widened, his fingers brushing over a long, bleeding scratch that trailed from her jaw down to her neck.

He looked down at the blood dripping down his fingers as he examined it.

“I’m fine,” she pushed his hand away, running for the door as everyone in the room began to slowly forget everything that happened.

“What about the body?!”

“The spell takes care of it, now move!”

Luke Castellan chased after her out the door, praying his face wouldn’t be shown on the news later. He jumped into the car with Katherine, tires pealing off as they disappeared as quickly as possible. He breathed slowly as he turned to face her as soon as they were far enough away. Luckily, no police had been called.

“That little grenade you had,” he said, “What was it?”

“A daughter of Hecate taught me how to make them. Set them off, everything magical in a room gets erased for mortals,” Katherine explained.

“You gotta teach me how to make those,” he sighed.

“It’s really complicated. Almost impossible without a child of Hephaestus,” she thought.

“What’s the plan once we get to the camp?” Luke asked.

“I’ll take the car before we get near any guards. That way no one sees me,” she volunteered.

“Okay, that’ll work,” he thought. “You’re sure you don’t wanna come to the camp with me? They won’t question you. They’ll take you in without a second thought.”

“It’s fine. We don’t need to complicate things,” Katherine told him. “I have a few people in the area. We can both stock up. Then, we’ll find a way out of the Underworld.”

“How long should I spend at camp?” Luke asked.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, “A few weeks?”

“Weeks?” Luke questioned, “I was thinking days.”

“You seriously think you could come up with a believable reason to leave after a few days?” she asked him.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Luke nodded unenthusiastically as he got them to New York, concentrating on lying his way through camp to make it back out to Katherine and the search for Kronos.

-

Chapter Four

#luke castellan imagine #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #pjo series #riordanverse #rick riordan #percy jackson #jake abel #pjo luke #adam milligan

[macysparadeblog]

Broadway Performances for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on November 23, 2023

From Playbill's website: "Created by the Emmy®-winning writer from “Schitt’s Creek,” this hilarious new musical flips the script on the greatest love story ever told. & Juliet asks: what would happen next if Juliet didn’t end it all over Romeo? Get whisked away on a fabulous journey as she ditches her famous ending for a fresh beginning and a second chance at life and love—her way.

Juliet’s new story bursts to life through a playlist of pop anthems as iconic as her name, including Since U Been Gone‚ Roar, Baby One More Time, Larger Than Life‚ That’s The Way It Is, and Can't Stop the Feeling—all from the genius songwriter/producer behind more #1 hits than any other artist this century. Break free of the balcony scene and get into this romantic comedy that proves there’s life after Romeo. The only thing tragic would be missing it."

From Playbill: "What do you get when you pair a semi-neurotic, New York comedy writer with two music superstars from Nashville? A hilarious and audacious farm-to-fable musical about the one thing Americans everywhere can’t get enough of: corn. Shucked is the new musical comedy that proves sometimes tearing down a few walls, rather than growing them, is the only way to preserve our way of life. Shucked is about to turn Broadway on its ear and offer a kernel of hope for our divided nation."

From Playbill: "Marty McFly is a rock ‘n’ roll teenager who is accidentally transported back to 1955 in a time-travelling DeLorean invented by his friend, Dr. Emmett Brown. But before he can return to 1985, Marty must make sure his high school-aged parents fall in love in order to save his own existence."

From Playbill: "Based on the award-winning HBO documentary, How to Dance in Ohio is a heart-filled new musical exploring the need to connect and the courage it takes to step out into the world. At a group counseling center in Columbus, Ohio, seven autistic young adults prepare for a spring formal dance–a rite of passage that breaks open their routines and sets off hilarious and heartbreaking encounters with love, stress, excitement, and independence. How to Dance in Ohio is a story about people standing on the cusp of the next phase of their lives, facing their hopes and fears, ready to make a very big first move…and dance."

From Playbill: "Lovingly ripped from the film classic, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Spamalot has everything that makes a great knight at the theatre, from flying cows to killer rabbits, British royalty to French taunters, dancing girls, rubbery shrubbery, and of course, the lady of the lake."

#macy's thanksgiving day parade #macy's #thanksgiving #macysthanksgivingdayparade #macys #thanksgiving parade #thanksgiving day parade #nyc #new york city #broadway #spamalot #back to the future #shucked musical #musicals #& juliet #how to dance in ohio #97th macy's thanksgiving day parade

[homicidalduck]

if anyone wants I have a musicals playlist that's over 200 hours that has I think around 205 musicals here's an alphabetized list let me know if I'm missing any I should add (I don't like Andrew lloyd Webber musicals and I'm also not a huge fan of jukebox musicals more specifically mamma Mia) and if anyone wants a link please ask me

13

21 Chump Street

25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

35MM

36 Questions

42nd Street

The Addams Family

Aida

Aladdin

Alice by Heart

Allegro

Amelie

Anastasia

Ani

Annie Get Your Gun

Annie

Anything Goes

Avenue Q

Back to the Future

Bat Boy

Beauty and the Beast

Beetlejuice

Be More Chill

The Big One-Oh

Billy Elliot

Black Friday

Bombshell

Bonnie and Clyde

Book of Mormon

Brigadoon

Bring it On

Once More With Feeling (Buffy musical)

Bugsy Malone

Bye Bye Birdie

Cabaret

Camelot

Carousel

Carrie

Catch Me if You Can

A Catered Affair

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Chess

Chicago

A Chorus Line

Cinderella (Rodgers and Hammerstein)

The Colour Purple

Come From Away

Company

Crybaby

Curtains

Damn Yankees

Days of Wine and Roses

Dear Evan Hansen

Desperate Measures

Dog Man

Dreamgirls

Dreamland

Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog

Drowsy Chaperone

Duolingo on Ice

Elegies

Epic (all released sagas)

Everybody's Talking About Jamie

Falsettoland

Falsettos Revival

Firebringer

Flora the Red Menace

Follies

Fosse

Frankenstein

Frozen

Fun Home

Funny Girl

A Funny Thing Happened

A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder

Grand Hotel

Grease

The Great American Trailer Park

Grey Gardens

Gutenberg

Guys and Dolls

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

G*psy

Hadestown (broadway)

Hadestown (off broadway)

Hairspray

Hair

Hamilton

Harmony

Heathers

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Hello Dolly

Honk

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (this one is just for Patrick page)

How to Dance in Ohio

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

Hunchback of Notre Dame

In the Green

In the Heights

Into the Woods

In Trousers

It Shoulda Been You

Jekyll and Hyde

Kimberly Akimo

The King and I

Kinky Boots

Kiss of the Spider Woman

Legally Blonde

Lempicka

Les Miserables (english and french)

The Lightning Thief

The Lion King

Little Do They Know

The Little Mermaid

A Little Night Music

Little Shop of Horrors (english and german)

Little Women

Lizard Boy

Love in Hate Nation

Love's Labours Lost

Mad Ones

Make Me a Song

Mame

A Man of No Importance

March of the Falsettos

Marguerite

Martin Guerre

Mary Poppins

Matilda

Mean Girls

Merrily We Roll Along

Miss Saigon

Monty Python's Spamalot

The Music Man

My Fair Lady

My Heart Says Go

My Son's a Queer (But What Can You Do)

The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

Nerdy Prudes Must Die (I only have one song because I'm waiting to watch it with my friend before adding more)

A New Brain

Newsies

New York, New York

Next to Normal

Nightmare Time

Nine

Octet

Oklahoma

Oliver

Once On This Island

Once Upon a Mattress

Only Murders in the Building (Death Rattle Dazzle)

The Pyjama Game

Parade

Pippin

The Prince of Egypt

Prodigal

The Producers

The Prom

Ragtime

Ride the Cyclone

The Rink

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Schmigadoon

Schmicago

Scottsburo Boys

Seussical

She Loves Me

Sherlock

Shrek

Shucked

Six

Smash

Some Like it Hot

Something Rotten

The Sound of Music

South Pacific

Spiderman Turn off the Dark

The Spitfire Grill

Spongebob

Spring Awakening

Starship

State Fair

Sunday in the Park with George

Superhero

Sweeney Todd

Sweet Charity

The Theory of Relativity

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Tick Tick Boom

The Time Traveller's Wife

The Trail to Oregon

Twisted

Urinetown

A VHS Christmas Carol

The Visit

Waitress

Wait Wait Don't Kill Me

West Side Story

Wicked

Water for Elephants

Wizard of Oz

The Wiz

Zombie Prom

Zorba

#musicals #musical theatre

[elipheleh]

Music - Casey's Updates [The Final(?) Version]

Casey's instagram stories recently contained some music they would have added to their playlists for the RWRB characters. This is the final version of all the ones they shared, with a playlist containing all of the songs and playlists for Henry & Alex.

-----

Here is the full playlist of all mentioned songs. In sharing the songs, Casey also shared snippets of the lyrics, these - & the full list of shared music - are below the cut.

I also created individual playlists from Casey's lists - all the songs mentioned for Henry:

and for Alex:

Below are text versions of Casey's instagram stories.

-----

some songs i would put on my AGCD playlist if i made it today

-Too Much, Carly Rae Jepson When I party, then I party too much When I feel it, then I feel it too much When I'm thinking, then I'm thinking too much When I'm drinking, then I'm drinking too much I'll do anything to get to the rush Now I'm dancing, and I'm dancing too much So be careful if you're wanting this touch 'Cause if I love you, then I love you too much

-Bronco, Orville Peck Come on in hot, babe Hurry up, babe Can't you see the gate from here? And nothing holds me back at all Nothing left to fear Best of luck, my dear Bucking side to side Bronco running wild

-Love Me More, Mitski Here's my hand There's the itch But I'm not supposed to scratch

-Big Time, Angel Olsen And I'm losing, I'm losing, I've left it behind Guess I had to be losing to get here on time And I'm living, I'm loving, I've loved long before And I'm loving you big time, I'm loving you more

-

and HGEJFMW (Henry's)

-Not Strong Enough, boygenius The way I am Not strong enough to be your man I lied, I am Just lowering your expectations Half a mind that keeps the other second-guessing Close my eyеs and count

-The Archer, Taylor Swift I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost The room is on fire, invisible smoke And all of my heroes die all alone Help me hold on to you

-Magic, Julia Jacklin I won't feel ashamed tonight Treat it like a stage tonight Turn over a new page and write Forget all that I learnt tonight All the times that I've been hurt tonight Remember what I'm worth and fight for it

-Reach Out, Sufjan Stevens & Angelo De Augustine Reach out, reach out To all the ones who came before you Ponder what is right You and I, in defiance

-----

They also shared their "firstprince x [artist]" playlist choices.

Carly Rae Jepson Henry: all that, surrender my heart, want you in my room, everything he needs, feels right Alex: too much, run away with me, real love, shy boy, i didn't just come here to dance

Mitski Henry: first love / late spring, heat lightning, pink in the night, i don't smoke, i want you, happy, bug like an angel, a pearl Alex: texas reznikoff, love me more, geyser, i bet on losing dogs, goodbye my danish sweetheart, my body's make of crushed little stars, burning hill, remember my name

Taylor Swift Henry: the lucky one, this is me trying, wildest dreams, dancing with our hands tied, castles crumbling, out of the woods, the archer, daylight Alex: gorgeous, treacherous, cowboy like me, i know places, cruel summer, you're on your own kid, peace, you are in love

boygenius Henry: appointments, georgia, not strong enough, bite the hand, historians, garden song, hot & heavy Alex: cool about it, savior complex, sprained ankle, body to flame, smoke signals, dancing in the dark, we're in love

Sufjan Stevens Henry: predatory wasp of the palisades, for the widows; for the fatherless, all for myself, the only thing, john my beloved, to be alone with you, tell me you love me, reach out Alex: man of metropolis steals our hearts, city of roses, with my whole heart, mystery of love, heirloom, run away with me, all delighted people, america

The National Henry: demons, humiliation, once upon a poolside, don't swallow the cap, empire line, the pull of you, bloodbuzz ohio Alex: racing like a pro, i am easy to find, this isn't helping, rylan, pink rabbits, you were a kindness, slow show

-----

top HGEJFMW lyrics on this playlist [Mitski]

-I want you I hold one card That I can't use But I want you

-I'm what's left of when we swam under the moon Now the rest of my days are just waiting for when You've calmed down and tell me, 'I was meant for you' Baby, being with you makes the flame burn good If you need to be mean, be mean to me I can take it and put it inside of me If your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm as you break my heart

-So please, hurry, leave me, I can't breathe Please don't say you love me

-I glow pink in the night in my room I've been blossoming alone over you And I hear my heart breaking tonight I hear my heart breaking tonight Ooh, do you hear it too? It's like a summer shower

a few top AGCD lyrics on this playlist [Mitski]

-And I am the fire, and I am the forest And I am a witness watching it I stand in a valley watching it And you are not there are all

-There's some kind of burning inside me It's kept me from falling apart And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart But it's kept me from falling apart Now here I lay as I wonder about you Would you just tell me what I'm meant to do? 'Cause I've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew You can see how it's blossomed for you

-I better ace that interview I better ace that interview I should tell them that I'm not afraid to die I better ace that interview

-I need something bigger than the sky Hold it in my arms and know it's mine Just how many stars will I need to hang around me To finally call it Heaven? I need somebody to remember my name After all that I can do for them is done I need someone to remember me

-----

Link to the masterpost/contents page for the music posts

Link to the masterpost/contents for the whole series

link to my spotify

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #rwrb playlist #rwrb music #ok so this is a repost but slightly different/improved #ive added the links bc firefox at least is breaking spotify embeds and idk why but it works on my phone so. both options there and #my spotify is linked at the end #Spotify

[mckinleyhq]

we were strangers, on a crazy adventure never dreaming, how our dreams would come true now here we stand, unafraid of the future at the beginning with you

it's time to show all of mckinley and lima, ohio what the new directions are made of, this is the start of a new beginning for the team and they can almost smell victory in their future. with brand new talent at the helm and a totally new outlook on things, mr. schuester has decided to kick off the new year of glee with a bang, showcasing their new voices and their seasoned ones too.

character development task.

option one. write a solo para thread or a headcanon about a time when your character got a fresh start and explore how they approached it - do they like a clean slate and look forward to tackling new challenges? or do they hate change and wish for things to stay the same? really delve into their head to find out !!

option two. create an aesthetic graphic other edit of your character that represents their outlook when faced with a new beginning - this could be the start of a new school year, transferring to a new school, starting a new hobby, club or job - whatever fits into your character's development. get creative !!

option three. create a playlist with at least five songs that your character loves that feature debut artists (aka the first single an artist ever released) - if you wish to outline why each of these songs mean something to your muse you can do so !!

option four. create an in-character pitch for the new directions - include ideas your muse has that they believe would help boost the new directions and secure them an actual winning title this year - feel free to create a matching moodboard, vision board or aesthetic to go along with it - or not !! this can be interpreted by you !!

alternative option. in the new beginnings and change, have your character take this quiz - post your results ( in the corresponding weekly server channel) !!

to count towards task fills, these must be original content uploaded and posted by you - reblogs of gif sets, photosets, etc will not count or be reposted onto the inspiration account.

this are just a few options for you that you can choose to participate in for this week’s theme - you are welcome to fulfill the task using all of these methods, some of them, or even by making up your own. as always these tasks are optional, but encouraged. you can post your results in the task channel and utilize the following tumblr tags: mckinleyhq:task & mhqinspo!! happy development !!

glee club task.

this week, we’re getting back into our routine, but it also signifies the start of something new - a new beginning, which means it’s the perfect time to sign up for auditions to join the new directions !!

it's time to perform another song during glee club practice - you can do this in the form of a youtube video, a spotify link, a headcanon drabble, or even an aesthetic post/edit - the only thing you need to include is the title of the song they will be auditioning with. your song choice should feature a debut single. be sure to post a link to your post in the glee weekly task channel in the discord server !!

be creative as you’d like with this week’s theme !! we’d love to see all forms of content relating to this theme of : new beginnings !!

other notes. we will host a 'mini event' this week for the new directions showcase which will take place on wednesday night - in character. there will be no official dedicated server channel for this event, but there will be a plot drop and you can use the event in starters, headcanons, etc !!

#weekly task: week two #weekly task: all #weekly task: new beginnings #mckinleyhq:task

[liaromancewriter]

What books are your MC's and their LI's currently reading? What music are they currently listening to?

I had to research this one because my reading tastes are different from my characters. But I like what I've come up with.

Music

Cassie and Max have been listening to The Black Keys' new album, Ohio Players. They both love the band and are planning to catch them on tour again. Other than that, Cassie's into top 40 hits, so whatever comes on her playlists is fine by her.

Ethan listens to whatever Cassie has on at home, but when he's alone, it will be playlists of classical music and opera arias.

Sienna's obsessed with Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department anthology album. Of my characters, she's the only Swiftie in the group. Aside from that, it's nursery rhymes in the background for Noah. Cocomelon is fairly addictive.

Books

Cassie has been working on her first book, First Things First. She recently signed a deal with a publisher, and the final manuscript is due by the end of the year. So, her reading list is primarily research for the book.

Ethan's been reading Age of Revolutions by Fareed Zakaria. He usually picks books from the NY Times non-fiction list. This book is about different revolutionary periods in human history and how it led to populism.

Max is a voracious reader, and tends to jump genres. Right now, he's reading Kara Swisher's Burn Book about the tech industry and its founders. It's an area he's always been interested in.

Sienna is not into reading books as much but will occasionally read romance and mystery novels. These days, she's been spending more time on mommy blogs as she figures out motherhood. She's also been reading recipes for French Vietnamese fusion food and trying various dishes that her sister sends her (it's for their family's restaurant).

Thanks for the ask!

Character Asks: @bluebelle08 @cariantha @crazy-loca-blog @coffeeheartaddict2

@jerzwriter @lady-calypso @quixoticdreamer16 @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

#open heart #ask and answered #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine #sienna trinh x max valentine

[musicalresolution]

Bracket round 1 setup

The polls will start coming out tomorrow, one section per day.

Here's a youtube playlist with all the contestants Below the cut is a list of all the songs in order of appearance in the setup

Elephant Love Medley

This World Will Remember Us

I Know Him So Well

Some Things Are Meant To Be

La Haine

Telephone Wire

Die Schatten Werden Länger

Judas

What Would I Do

Dance With You

Un Jour

Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful

Light My Candle

If I Told You (Reprise)

I'll Be There

Ten Minutes Ago

Dogfight

Still

Suddenly Seymour

The Company Way

They're Only Human

Dead Girl Walking

Oh Well

Fine

Wallflower

Afternoon

One More Try

I Think I Got You Beat

Feed Me (Git It!)

Another Day

You and Me (But Mostly Me)

First Date/Last Night

The Confrontation

I Am the Starlight

Wheels Of A Dream

Lily's Eyes

Le Balcon

Only Us

A breakfat Over Sugar

Man Of La Mancha (I, Don Quixode)

Picture Show

Come To Me (Fantine's Death

Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer

Hey, Little Songbird

Take Me Or Leave Me

Lay All Your Love On Me

There Is No Other Way

I Will Be There

Unworthy Of Your Love

A Little Fall Of Rain

When You're Home

But Yours

One Step Ahead

Apex Predator

A Little Priest

Bad Idea

Agony

Wedding Song

Take Me Back

Any Moment

What You Own

The Point of No Return

Too Many Mornings

You Can't Have Me (If You Don't Have Him)

Natasha & Anatole

Our Love Is God

Perfect Strangers

All For The Best

Wenn Ich Tanzen Will

Your Obedient Servant

Der Einfache Weg

Could We Start Again Please

Vamp!

As Long As You Are Mine

Der Schleier Fällt

People Will Say We're In Love

I'll Cover You

I'll Know

Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind

The Sweetest Sounds

What About Love

The Ball

A Boy Like That/I Have A Love

(You're) Timeless To Me

Legally Blonde

Anybody Have a Map

Damnit Janet

Come What May

Green Green Dress

Someday

One More Try

Ohio

Promises

Not While I'm Around

In A Crowd Of Thousands

Something To Believe In

Pierre & Natasha

Macavity the Mystery Cat

Sing!

The Song That Goes Like This

Aimer

It Only Takes A Taste

Thrill Of First Love

The Phantom Of The Opera

Sue Me

It Takes Two

L'Amour Heureux

I Want To Be Seen With You

Tango: Maureen

Do You Love Me?

Bare

This Is Life

Portrait Of A Girl

Pierre & Andrey

Move On

Irma La Douche: Our Language Of Love

For Good

a Cautionairy Tale

Vivre Á En Crever

How Long

The Private and Intimate Life of the House

Totale Finsternis

All I Ask of You

What You Mean to Me

Seventeen

You and I (reprise)

Dear Theodosia

Sixteen Going on Seventeen

#round 1 #brackets #musical theater

[asexual-juliet]

we are not free. but we are not alone. one song for each We Are Not Free Character

playlist notes under the cut

I. Minnow Ito - Everything Stays - Adventure Time Everything stays, right where you've left it / Everything stays, but it still changes / Ever so slightly, daily and nightly / In little ways, when everything stays The fact that both of Minnow’s chapters take place in San Francisco and bookend the novel make this the perfect choice for him as he reflects on how Japantown has both changed yet stayed the same as the city of his childhood

II. Shig Ito - Little League - Conan Gray And when we were younger / We wore our hearts right on our sleeves / Why did we ever have to leave? / Little league Shig’s chapter is basically him reflecting on his childhood in Japantown as he prepares to leave it and I think this song is perfect for that! There’s also the line “Do you remember days on our old block?/ Messin' with our neighbors who called the cops” which is SO Shig&Twitchy-core… them and their shenanigans!!

III. Yum-yum Oishi - You Are Loved - Defiance, Ohio And as the story unfolds over time / Things we once knew, they do dissolve into the sky / She swears she sees a brand new constellation / Every time somebody we know dies I love the bit in Yum-yum’s chapter where Tommy and Minnow are making up constellations and I have always associated Yum-yum with astral imagery because of it! I think this song really speaks to her unsurety about the future and I love the line “the radio plays a familiar song,” because Yumyum’s chapter is also where we get the first reference to Mas’ Silvertone radio!

IV. Bette Nakano - Can’t Blame a Girl for Trying - Sabrina Carpenter 'Cause I'm young and I'm dumb / I do stupid things when it comes to love / And even if I always end up crying / No, you can't blame a girl for trying I feel like I don’t even have to explain this one like this encapsulates Bette’s vibe EXACTLY!!! She would be such a teen pop girlie <3

V. Frankie Fujita - Amy aka Spent Gladiator 1 - The Mountain Goats Play with matches if you think you need to play with matches / Seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot and bright / Find where the heat's unbearable and stay there if you have to / Don't hurt anybody on your way up to the light Thinking about this song as a Frankie song makes me FERAL!! something about the fire in this verse as a metaphor for his anger, him knowing he needs to do whatever he can to make sure he doesn’t hurt anybody with that anger… the first line of this song is “Do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive”...yeah. i luv you frankie fujita <3

VI. Stan Katsumoto - Once More with Feeling - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. Don't let the people make you think / That just because you're young you're useless / You know it's not naive to think that you can change the things around / And that no man is an island This is mostly in reference to Stan wanting to go to college to be a lawyer for the ACLU which is a piece of his character that I absolutely LOVE!!

VII. Aiko Harano - Warrior Girl - Nicole Visco Warrior Girl only goes to where she wants to / Warrior Girl maybe has a heavy sword / Warrior Girl has no idea where she jumps to / But she jumps to where she wants to / And she's never ever bored This is absolutely Aiko’s song!!! She is a scrappy little warrior girl and I adore her for it!! There is also a refrain in this song about “maybe someday / there'll be some way I could get to roam free” which. yeah. I love you Aiko <3

VIII. Yuki Nakano - Crazy Dreams - Carrie Underwood Here's to you free souls, you firefly chasers / Tree climbers, porch swingers, air guitar players / Here's to you fearless dancers, shaking walls in your bedrooms / There's a lot of wonder left inside of me and you / Thank God even crazy dreams come true This just reminds me a lot of Yuki’s dream of playing in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League!! especially because there’s a part of the song that says “Never let a bad day be enough / To go and talk you into giving up” which reminds me so much of Yuki’s chapter!!

IX. Mary Katsumoto - Something About Lemons - Chumped And every day, I grow a little more resentful / Of the choices that I did or didn't make / Wanted this to feel a little more eventful / Every day that I'm awake just feels the same This is SO Mary!! especially the line about being resentful of the choices that she didn’t (get to) make… like that’s literally the plot of her chapter.

X. Kiyoshi Tani - Lion’s Teeth - The Mountain Goats And my arms get sore / And my palms start to sweat / And the tears roll down my face / Till my cheeks are hot and red and soaking wet John Darnielle called this song a “revenge fantasy” about standing up to his abusive stepfather and I think that Kiyoshi deserves that kind of catharsis.

XI. Mas Ito - human - Christina Perri But I'm only human / And I bleed when I fall down / I'm only human / And I crash and I break down Song about pretending to be strong and fake a smile and force a laugh until you literally can’t anymore and it fucking destroys you… hello Mas Ito!!

XII. Keiko Kimura - Who Knew - P!nk That last kiss, I'll cherish until we meet again / And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember / But I keep your memory, you visit me in my sleep / My darling, who knew? Fucked up behavior of me to choose this for Keiko but yeah it’s about Twitchy. Feels self-explanatory.

XIII. Twitchy Hashimoto - Brother - Kodaline We've taken different paths / And traveled different roads / I know we'll always end up on the same one when we're old / And when you're in the trenches / And you're under fire, I will cover you Very much chosen with the Twitchy&Shig dynamic in mind but also because Twitchy literally refers to the other characters as his “siblings back in Topaz”... and something about the line about “we were… the kings and queens” combined with the motif of royalty surrounding Twitchy & his relationship with Keiko (“company of kings,” Aiko’s thought about Twitchy treating Keiko like a “queen,” Keiko’s comparing Twitchy to a prince, the Cinderella motifs in Keiko’s chapter…. yeah) and ofc the reference to trench warfare… this is his fucking song.

XIV. Tommy Harano - Landslide - Fleetwood Mac Well, I've been afraid of changin' / 'Cause I've built my life around you / But time makes you bolder / Even children get older / And I'm getting older too something about Tommy finally making the decision to leave his parents behind… he’s built his life around a family that doesn’t treat him right but time has made him bolder as he’s grown up. and like. the references to snow in both the book and the song are beautiful and aplenty but i don’t have the time to unpack that.

XV. All Of Us - Disposable Youth - No-No Boy Disposable you / Disposable me / Disposable hearts / Indestructible teens Off an album named for the year the Japanese American incarceration of World War II began, this is songwriter Julian Saporiti’s “imagining of what it would have been like to be ever experience a Memorial Day bbq with people who looked like me” and has a very similar vibe to the scene at Tanforan where they celebrate of the infield after the Americans defeated the Japanese at the Battle of Midway. somethin’ bout teenagers getting to be wild and loving and free <3

#we are not free #wanf #on my want playlist grind #also. forgot the link the actual playlist to the last one lmfao my bad #I've posted this before but this is the new & improved version #minnow ito #shig ito #yum-yum oishi #bette nakano #frankie fujita #stan katsumoto #aiko harano #yuki nakano #mary katsumoto #kiyoshi tani #mas ito #keiko kimura #twitchy hashimoto #tommy harano #playlist #playlists #my playlists #snarkiestchicken #igizzz

[scrubdowner]

tagged by @egoborderline !!

shuffle your ON REPEAT playlist and list the first 10 songs 1. Number of the Beast - Iron Maiden 2. Can You Feel My Heart - BMTH 3. The Legend of Chavo Guerrero - The Mountain Goats (okay fair, I listen to that album front to back every couple weeks 4. Fresh Tattoo - The Mountain Goats (jenny from thebes is excellent, go listen 5. Tarhatazed - Mdou Moctar (if you haven't heard of this before, go listen to it now now pls) 6. Snake Eater - Cynthia Harrell (it's mgs what do I have to say) 7. A Real Hero - Astrophysics (i've always liked covers, this album is a lot of fun) 8. The Diaz Brothers (Jordan Lake Sessions) - The Mountain Goats 9. The New World Order - Defiance, Ohio (surprised this is the only folk punk on here) 10. The Ocean - Against Me! (iykyk) list your top 15 tv shows because it reflects your personality

uhhh fuck idk if I can think of that many

Burn Notice (haven't watched in forever but have watched the whole thing through at least twice)

Star Trek (gonna lump DS9, VOY, and LD here together. DS9 is my fav though)

Avatar: TLA (never actually finished Korra)

Trailer Park Boys

Futurama (and also)

Classic Simpsons (it's basically internet humor background radiation at this point)

idk I don't really watch a ton of stuff

this was fun! Most of my mutuals were already tagged on Stella's post so if you wanna do it go ahead!

#mine #tag game

[belphegor1982]

“The night before we got married, I was so nervous. I came here to see Mr. Miyagi. He sat me down, poured me a cup of tea... and some sake. And we talked about you.”

Amanda’s last evening as a bachelorette with her family (mom, cousin, aunts and uncle) gets a little derailed by nerves. Sometimes you just need some perspective to help you sort everything out.

I’ve had season 5 of Cobra Kai doing cartwheels in my head and stuff to my heart for a month and a half (ish) now, in particular episodes 5, 6 and 10. What Amanda says in 5.06 about her conversation with Mr Miyagi made me wish we could have seen that kind of scene in the show. (and cry. It made me cry, big time.)

So I wrote it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

___________

In the Light of Tea and Sake

Winnetka, San Fernando Valley, 1999

“Well, I think that’s it.”

“That’s it? Really?”

“Yep. Everything on the list.”

Daniel took a sip from his espresso. How he could keep downing coffee at 6PM and still sleep like a log afterward had always baffled Amanda. Especially since he wasn’t exactly short on energy to begin with.

“Wow.”

Amanda took the paper, sliding it closer on the table. The ‘list’ in question was a little chaotic and largely symbolic anyway, but it was something, seeing all those checked boxes in front of various items like Pick up dress from the dry cleaner, Send RSVPs, or Order extra Lambrusco. They weren’t even in the correct chronological order, but every single one was crossed out.

For some reason her heartbeat was very loud in her chest, and she wasn’t sure all of it could be chalked up to excitement.

“We’re getting married,” she said softly, almost to herself.

Daniel flashed her a grin.

“Well yeah, that was the idea.”

“No, I mean… married.”

“That’s… a thing that can happen when two people decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. You’re not going Runaway Bride on me now, are ya?”

A smile slipped past the tension in Amanda’s chest.

“And miss on the buffet afterward? Are you kidding?”

She was rewarded by a laugh and a cheeky grin, followed by an exaggerated waggle of eyebrows which Daniel was bound to know looked both ridiculous and charming.

Some of the weird tension inside her eased.

God, she loved that man so much.

At least that had never been in question.

“You’re so much prettier than Julia Roberts, anyway,” he said loyally, before adding, “Besides, you know the only thing that’ll be different tomorrow night is that we’re gonna be wearing a ring, right here.” He pointed at his left ring finger. “The ceremony’s just an excuse to get everyone we love together for once. Once that’s out of the way we’ll all stuff ourselves with great food, and dance, and we’ll have a great time. Oh, that reminds me – give me the list, I just thought of something –”

Food, dance, and all their loved ones in one place. Amanda couldn’t help but smile at the mental picture. Sure, when you put it that way, it all sounded so simple. Daniel had a gift for making complicated things sound simple, or at least straightforward.

But this shouldn’t be complicated, should it?

Except… Maybe it should. It was one of the biggest decisions of her life, after all, right up there with deciding to swap Ohio State for UCLA almost at the last minute and move halfway across the country. Talk about a leap of faith. At least she’d had Aunt Pat, and Jessica on holidays sometimes.

So. Maybe a few jitters were only natural.

She put her chin in her hand, letting her shoulders sag, and gazed at the man seated near her at their kitchen table. He was scribbling his last-minute entry on their list with the earnestness he usually reserved for tasks like writing letters or trimming bonsais. Things he loved doing.

Amanda smiled softly into her palm, almost despite herself.

“What are you adding?”

“Nothin’ important, just a couple of ideas for the music. You know, in case the DJ goes through his entire playlist and decides to take requests.”

“It’s our wedding, babe,” she pointed out. “I’m pretty sure we’ll be allowed a few requests. You know, besides the first song.” She paused. “Although I might have to bribe the guy with cake to get him to play ‘Always’ at some point. Preferably around 11PM when we’re all a little wasted on champagne and I can get you to myself for a slow dance.”

Daniel’s grin came back full force. “Way ahead of you.”

It was the second of the songs he’d added to their Things To Do Before The Wedding list, the first being ‘Desperado’, because he loved the 70s and 80s soft rock he’d grown up with. Besides the Eagles and Bon Jovi, the rest of the songs was pretty eclectic. Amanda was fairly sure he’d thrown in ‘Tutti Frutti’ specifically for his mom to lindy hop to.

With him, probably.

Daniel LaRusso was something of a momma’s boy (the logical result of having been a family of two for so long), a trait which against all odds Amanda found charming. If only Lucille’s attitude toward her didn’t set her future daughter-in-law’s teeth on edge…

Good thing Daniel’s close family didn’t stop at his mother.

Sometimes it felt just a little odd that he and the closest thing he had to another parent essentially called each other “Mister” all the time, like a teacher and his student, but over the years Amanda had learned to hear the terms of endearment behind the honorifics.

When she looked up from the list she met Daniel’s eyes, warm and a little bit wistful.

“Still set for your girls’ night, then?”

“It’s more of a games night, really,” she pointed out. “Besides, my uncle Brian will be there too, so I don’t know if you can really call it a girls’ night. But yes, I’d better get going. Aunt Pat likes everybody to be punctual for big dinners and I’ll be glad to see Jessie again. And mom,” she added as an afterthought, feeling vaguely guilty that it had to be a late addition.

“Okay. Well, enjoy your last night as a bachelorette.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me to not do anything you wouldn’t do?”

Daniel snorted.

“I think we both know the chances of that are pretty slim.”

“Oh, please. I know you’re a bit impulsive, but surely you couldn’t be that reckless as a kid, right?”

“That depends on where you rank ‘Blowing all my savings on a last-minute passport and round trip to Okinawa’ on your scale of reckless things people can do.”

“Pretty damn reckless, yeah. But in context it was also incredibly sweet, so as far as I’m concerned it doesn’t make the scale.” She leaned in to kiss him, lingering just a bit, hoping he wouldn’t feel just how fast her heart thumped an erratic rhythm against her ribcage. “I’ll see you at the church tomorrow, then.”

“Can’t wait,” said Daniel softly, all shining eyes and earnestness, with no trace of the nerves she realised with a flash of guilt she’d been trying to squash for a while.

No doubt there, no uncertainty. He was one hundred percent committed to marrying her and, like he said, spending the rest of his life with her – like his parents probably would have if his father hadn’t died way too soon.

Amanda had made her choice, wanted that, too, so… Why was she so goddamn nervous?

She turned up the volume on the radio in the car to drown out the question, and resolutely avoided glancing back at the cover bag that contained her dress for the entire drive to Aunt Pat’s Chatsworth house.

* * *

The door opened on Aunt Pat’s beaming smile.

“Heads up, folks, here comes the bride!”

Amanda barely had the time to smile back and say hi before she was engulfed in a warm hug and plied with questions about how she was keeping, and was she excited for tomorrow, and her well-being in general. Aunt Pat was a veritable whirlwind, her love as generous as it was relentless, and in the blink of an eye Amanda was whisked upstairs, hugged welcome several times, and seated on the couch between her mom and her Uncle Brian.

“So good to see you, honey.”

“How are you doing, Mandy?”

God, she’d missed them. But she hadn’t missed being the last guest who inevitably took the spotlight and got mobbed.

Amanda found herself calling on everything she and Daniel had had to learn when they’d started selling cars to and rubbing elbows with North Hollywood royalty in order to mask the anxiety churning dully in her stomach.

(Those people could smell impostor syndrome a mile away, like sharks with blood in the water. You needed the right smile, the right poise, and a self-confidence that could shatter a rock. She’d gotten surprisingly good at it. Daniel was still working out some kinks.)

“Oh, well I –”

“Don’t crowd the poor girl,” exclaimed Aunt Maggie from the staircase. Presumably she’d been the one to take Amanda’s overnight bag and dress upstairs to what had been Jessica’s room once. “Canapés, sweetie? Brian made them specially for you.”

“I know you like ‘em,” Uncle Brian chimed in with fake bashfulness and real pride, handing her the plate.

Amanda picked one – a spinach and goat cheese pastry, nice – and grinned. “Thanks.”

“He’s not the fancy caterer you picked for the wedding reception, but nothing can beat your uncle’s cooking, right?”

“Mom,” said Jessica from the armchair she’d sat in after welcoming Amanda with a brief hug like everyone else, “please. You promised you wouldn’t say anything more about the catering. I’m sure it’ll be great,” she added with a smile in Amanda’s direction. The warmth of it eased a knot that had just started to tense in Amanda’s shoulders.

Aunt Maggie sighed the heavy sigh of the put-upon, but thankfully didn’t protest.

“So, Jessie,” said Amanda swiftly, before more questions or remarks about her upcoming wedding, “how’s Nick? And Holly and Paige?”

“They’re fine,” Jessica said, helping herself to more appetisers. “Nick’s minding the girls tonight.” She laughed. “They’re all psyched up about tomorrow, but I don’t know how much of that is getting to sleep in a hotel or the prospect of hurling flower petals at people tomorrow. We’re gonna have a couple of excited little gremlins on our hands until they serve the cake,” she added with transparent fondness.

Amanda shook her head with a snort. “Sorry about that. If I’d known asking them to be flower girls would create monsters…”

“Don’t worry, they love you and Daniel to pieces. They’ll keep their mischief down to tame levels for your sakes.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Amanda raised the glass of white wine Aunt Pat had just put in her hand and toasted them both.

There was a scoff to her right.

“What, Mom?”

“Nothing, darling, just… I still don’t understand why you’d want to put yourself through all this hassle. I understand wanting a big family reunion, but you don’t need a wedding for that. Do you know just how many marriages end in a divorce these days?”

Amanda had to force herself to take a second to breathe – in through the nose, out through the mouth, Mr. Miyagi’s voice echoing in her head the way it did when she did her yoga while he and Daniel did katas – and attempted to smile. The result felt more strained than what she aimed at. She must really be off tonight; usually her diplomacy game was much better than that.

“Four point one for every thousand Americans1, I know, Mom. You told me. Several times.” At least she still knew the exact amount of warning needed in her tone to make her mother know she was toeing the limits. “But it was my choice. Our choice.”

For a second, Joanne appeared to have a ready argument on her tongue. Fortunately, it was the moment Aunt Pat chose to clap her hands and ask her to help her set the table.

“Oh, and Brian made buckeyes2 for dessert,” she added with a wink at Amanda and Jessica.

The two cousins looked at each other.

“Okay, how many of those do you think can we eat before we realise we no longer fit into our dresses?”

Jessica laughed. “I don’t know, but I like a challenge. Come on, let’s find out.”

Amanda popped one last canapé into her mouth and rose from the couch, taking Jessica’s arm as they went.

* * *

The dinner was excellent.

It was also, at times, endless.

At her best, Amanda cultivated patience like a well-kept garden. Being patient helped when co-running a business. It also helped smooth things out in her personal life. Her couple was a partnership of equals, well balanced, but she’d known from the start her temper was more even than Daniel’s. Each knew to take their turn at patience when the other needed some, though.

So it wasn’t like a few derogatory comments on her life choices and management style were enough to rile her up – not usually, and especially when scattered among casual kindnesses and funny anecdotes. Mrs LaRusso could dish worse than that on a good day. But the timing sucked.

Why couldn’t she seem to stop feeling so worried already?

“Joanne,” said Aunt Pat in a warning tone while they were all helping themselves to dessert, “leave the girl alone. That’s the second time she makes that face, and I don’t like that face.”

Amanda was tempted to point out that, as an almost twenty-nine-year-old with a thriving career, she was more of a woman than a girl, but at this point any kind of lifebuoy was welcome.

“I’m just saying,” said Joanne in a voice Amanda was annoyed seemed to sound much more reasonable than her own, “Daniel’s a good man and I’m sure you’ll be very happy together. It’s the shackling up I don’t get. Everything you own, everything you earn, you’ll have to share – you’ll completely lose your independence. And what if it doesn’t work out in the end?”

“Then you get to tell me ‘I told you so’,” Amanda retorted. The sarcasm came out sharper than she intended. She had to take a second to centre herself. “Look, Mom, can we drop the subject already? I just wanted a nice family dinner, not a re-enactment of the Salem trials.”

Her mother rolled her eyes, but softened.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just want what’s best for you.”

Oh, for…

“So do I, and I’ve been old enough to know what I want for some time now.” Amanda paused as the realisation hit her. “And right now, I think… I think I want to go home.”

There was a shocked silence.

“Oh, sweetie,” said Aunt Pat, startled, “you’re not staying for game night?”

“Sorry, Aunt Pat, not tonight. I’m turning in early. If it’s okay with you I’ll be back here at 9 to get dressed, just after the hairdresser appointment. You know, if the dress still fits.”

The quip fell slightly flat. Her mother looked crestfallen.

“Amanda, honey, I swear I won’t say a single –”

Amanda waved a hand, already feeling calmer for her decision to not stay after all.

“I’m not storming off in a huff, Mom, don’t worry. I just… need my own bed right now. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?”

To her relief, she was answered by murmurs of assent and sympathetic noises.

One of the perks of being a bride-to-be was that many people expected you to be nervous and irrational, and were more willing than usual to let it go. In hindsight, maybe she should’ve banked on that much earlier instead of doubling down on trying at all costs to come across as chill, efficient and cheerful to everyone but Daniel.

She bid everyone good night, kissed her mother on the cheek (getting an apology hug she’d probably appreciate better tomorrow), and picked up her handbag.

“Sorry about your mom,” said Jessica softly when they were both at the door. “And mine. And Dad. Wow, this dinner was kinda terrible, huh.”

“We’ve had better, yeah,” Amanda conceded with a small smile. “I really would have enjoyed the sleepover, though. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry, we can always take a rain check. I’m sure Daniel won’t mind if I borrow my cousin for a girls’ night out one of these days.” She paused, and rubbed her hand along Amanda’s arm. “Sure you’re gonna be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Jessie. Thanks. I’m just a little beat right now.”

Jessica peered at her for a few seconds without saying anything, then pulled her into a hug Amanda returned gladly.

When they parted her heart was lighter, though it still beat uncomfortably loud in her throat.

“All right, go get some rest. I’ll save you some buckeyes.”

“And that is why you’re my favourite cousin,” said Amanda with a laugh. Jessica grinned.

“Yeah, I know. See you tomorrow morning, then.”

“Bye, Jessie.”

The lull had done Amanda good. By the time she was behind the wheel of her car, fishing her cell phone from her handbag to send Daniel a text, the tension that had kept building during the dinner was waning a bit. She still felt on edge though, like electricity running just under her skin.

She did want to go home, change into her most comfy pyjamas, and snuggle her boyfriend as if tomorrow weren’t anything special. Maybe pop Ghostbusters into the VCR. They’d watched it so many times over the years the tape was starting to get creases in some places.

But the state she was in right now… Daniel was a perceptive guy. What if he picked up on her nervousness and jumped to the wrong conclusion? Jitters weren’t cold feet, but it was bad, right? Or at least a bad sign?

Amanda flipped her phone closed, buckled her seatbelt… and threw her head back in frustration, hitting the headrest. Ugh. If that little voice in her head could just shut up—

She didn’t send the text, figuring she could surprise her boyfriend – fiancé – and drove off.

She was coming up to Sherman Way when she spotted the bridge over the Browns Canyon Wash in the near distance. Before she knew it, she was turning west toward Canoga Park.

This is probably a bad idea, she thought, but she kept driving.

* * *

Amanda knocked once, then twice, softly enough for plausible deniability that someone was on the threshold at all. The door opened before she could decide whether to stay or leave discreetly while it was still polite.

Mr. Miyagi’s eyebrows went up.

“Amanda-san?”

“Good evening, Mr. Miyagi,” she said, and did a hasty bow after belatedly realising she’d forgotten. “Sorry to bother you at this hour, I just… I…”

He waited until she failed to finish her sentence, then asked with a frown, “Thought you go to family tonight. Everything all right?”

Amanda gave a shaky laugh. “Yes. Well, no. Well, yes, it’s just… This is so dumb. I’m sorry, I’ll—”

“Amanda-san.” His voice was gentler than usual, less gruff. “Want some tea?”

She breathed out, let her tense shoulders sag a little.

“Tea would be lovely, thank you.”

Mr. Miyagi silently stepped aside to let her in.

Amanda went to sit on her knees in front of the low table, her hands in her lap. It felt strange, being there without Daniel. Mr. Miyagi had never made her feel unwelcome, even for a second, but the bond between those two was so obvious it was almost tangible, a living, breathing thing. They shared so many private jokes, and memories, and overall a kind of shorthand to each other that it might have made Amanda feel left out very easily.

She never did.

All it took was Daniel’s voice pulling her back from the sidelines, or Mr. Miyagi’s eyes twinkling as he shared a quiet smile with her, to remind Amanda that there was a place there with them that was just for her.

But she’d never been on her own there before, let alone at ten in the evening.

Mr. Miyagi soon came back with a tray loaded with a steaming teapot and two round cups. Amanda made sure to hold hers correctly, despite the impulse to wrap her fingers around it.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. Mr. Miyagi gave a short nod and sat down, too.

The tea was a good quality matcha, foamy and sweet, the perfect temperature when Amanda dipped her lips into it.

Her evening hadn’t been quiet. It had been frustrating at times, sure, but also full of love and laughter, a familiar brand of chaos as various conversations collided across the dinner table. As she closed her eyes to savour the silence, the heat of the cup, and the flavour of the tea, some of the tension that had made her heartbeat loud and her chest tight seemed to drain away.

The rest of that tension remained in place, but its coils were slightly less taut now.

The little house felt as it always did, cosy and warm despite the early October night outside flirting with the lower fifties. The light-coloured wood walls helped. So did the paper lamps, the rug, and the decorations here and there, testament to a life rich enough to contain several.

A few items stuck out, though. There was a navy blue suit on a coat-hanger, the pants neatly folded over the lower bar. It was flanked with another hanger, over which a white shirt was draped. Hanging around the hook of the hanger was a silk tie with a blue and white flower motif.

The shirt’s wide lapels were a few years out of date, but the ensemble fit together surprisingly well. And retro was in style, anyway.

Amanda smiled.

“Mr. Miyagi, you’re going to look fabulous tomorrow.”

“Good suit. Do all work.” He took a sip from his cup and glanced at her. “Good thing about wedding: everyone look at bride, nobody else. So Miyagi can wear flashy suit, no problem.”

Amanda suppressed the urge to shift uncomfortably.

“Hopefully they’ll be also looking at Daniel. I mean, he’s the groom. And his suit is pretty neat, too.”

“Hai. And Daniel-san look at you whole time.”

This time Amanda’s smile had a touch of heat in her cheeks. He probably would stare a little, at that.

Quiet fell again, so unobtrusively Amanda started when Mr. Miyagi asked, “So. What wrong?”

Amanda drank from her matcha again and gently laid the cup on the table.

“Mr. Miyagi, can I… can I ask you a question?”

Mr. Miyagi gave her a nod.

“Have you ever been nervous, even though there was absolutely no logical reason to be nervous?”

“Miyagi nervous plenty of time,” he said, glancing at her curiously. “Sometimes true reason hidden, only see later. Why?”

“I’ve been feeling… a little weird about tomorrow, all evening. Well, make that all week, now I think of it. And now I’m – I think I’m a bit scared?”

The last word surprised her even as she said it. She had to take a second to think, a little taken aback.

“Which is completely absurd,” she continued with a wave of her hand as though it might hide how self-conscious the admission made her feel. “I mean… It’s a wedding, not some high noon duel. I love Daniel and he loves me – we’ve been living together for four years, for God’s sake. I’m not having second thoughts, I’m just…”

Like earlier, Mr. Miyagi waited patiently until it became clear Amanda would not finish her sentence.

“Nothing wrong with nerves before big day. Natural.”

“I know, but… Look, we’re in 1999. People can choose to not get married and it’s not a big deal, so getting married shouldn’t be such a big deal, either. I mean, my mom just plain told me she didn’t get why I wanted a wedding. She thinks it’s old-fashioned.”

“And father?” asked Mr. Miyagi, pouring a second helping of tea into both their cups.

Amanda downed some of her matcha, licked the foam from her lips, and lowered her eyes.

“I didn’t invite him. We don’t have a good relationship.”

And if that wasn’t a spectacular understatement.

At the beginning, when they were drafting the list of guests, she’d hesitated. Daniel had said, Take your time, honey. It’s your call. I know things are complicated between the two of you. Which was sweet of him, because all he’d had to work from were the bare bones: that Ted Steiner had walked out on his family during Amanda’s last year of high school, that he lived in Boston now, and that neither Amanda nor her mother talked to him more often than a few times a year. Daniel hadn’t pried, hadn’t prodded at sore spots and scar tissue; he had taken what she’d been willing to give and not demanded anything more. Amanda had been ridiculously thankful for it.

Mr. Miyagi didn’t pry, either, nor offer platitudes. He was just there, giving silent support, with neither judgement nor impatience.

Amanda breathed out.

“My dad had an affair when I was a teenager. My mom caught him cheating and… I guess it was the last straw for their marriage. They got a divorce pretty soon after that.”

Mr. Miyagi shook his head ruefully, but made no comment.

“So… maybe that’s part of why I’m scared, you know. I do remember them being happy together, and I think even when that stopped they put up a convincing front for my sake, but… I’m not starting out this marriage thing with the best of examples, you know?

“I mean… Daniel’s parents really loved each other. I don’t really get on with his mom enough to have hearts-to-hearts with her about it, but Daniel’s a big fan of scrapbooks and photo albums and I’ve seen their faces when they look at his dad’s pictures. Perhaps he could have ended up having an affair, or doing something that’d make his family disappointed for some reason, but they’ll never know. They’ll always have these memories of him being a good husband, and a good dad, and that’s all they get to keep, because he’s dead. Meanwhile, my dad lives in Massachusetts with a woman sixteen years younger and he never remembers my birthday. And he blows me off when I call him at ‘inconvenient times’.”

Amanda downed her tea in one go, suddenly wishing for something a lot stronger.

“I didn’t mean to unload on you,” she said quietly, not quite looking Mr. Miyagi in the eyes. “Sorry about that. I think the bottom line is just that I’m scared that even good things go south eventually – someone dies, someone cheats, you know, life happens – and I’ve been trying not to think about that for some time. And now it’s all I can think about. I’ll be fine,” she added, “I think. But the timing is really, really bad.”

“Hm. Timing is what is, can’t change that.” She raised her eyes. Mr. Miyagi drank the rest of his matcha, then climbed to his feet with a slight groan. “Wait here a moment.”

While Amanda worked on swallowing the lump in her throat and blink the sting out of her eyes, he made his way across the room to a cabinet, from which he took a bottle and two glasses.

Not just any bottle, too. This was the kind of sake that always made its way into his cabinet as the winter grew close. The one Daniel said he couldn’t let him drink alone. He’d told her the reason for the yearly bender a couple of years ago, when he and Amanda had first moved in together and he’d come back from Mr. Miyagi’s one November morning with a massive hangover. Since then, grief and outrage fought an endless battle in Amanda’s heart whenever she saw the little hand-coloured photograph in Mr. Miyagi’s bedroom, but she’d never found the right words or the right moment to talk to him about it.

“Oh, Mr. Miyagi, you don’t have to –”

“At-at-at-at. Tea good, but for this? Strong stuff better. Drink.”

He poured two generous drinks and toasted Amanda’s tumbler. The glass went clink.

The wine was light, slightly sweet, with a kick at the end. It seemed to warm her throat and chest from the inside, much as the tea had. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the taste. And the kick. She had needed that kick.

When she opened her eyes again Mr. Miyagi was looking straight at her.

“How ridiculous do you think it is,” she asked in a low voice, “being scared of your own wedding?”

He shook his head.

“Amanda-san, in life, always easier to hide head in sand. Admit being scared, though – that pretty brave. You face fear.”

She took a sip from her glass to hide the wry turn of her mouth. “Brave is the last thing I’m feeling right now.”

“What feeling right now, then?”

“Stupid, mostly. And, well. Still nervous,” she added.

“Ah, not stupid. Just young.”

“Not that young.”

“And not that stupid either.” A small laugh escaped Amanda. Mr. Miyagi’s expression softened. “Miyagi… very nervous before wedding. Very young then, and very stupid.”

Amanda held her breath. He had never mentioned his wife to her before.

“Why were you nervous?”

“Daniel-san tell you about first trip to Okinawa?”

Amanda nodded. “He said you’d left your first love there. She was engaged to marry your best friend, and you left so you wouldn’t have to fight him to the death. And win,” she added in a softer voice.

Another time, another place, another world. Arranged marriages and duels of honour – it all sounded like a story, not like something regular people her parents’ or grandparents’ age could have gone through. And maybe at first glance the little old man seated next to her in a khaki button-down did not look like the stuff of stories. But as she had come to know him better, she’d come to know better.

Mr. Miyagi nodded with a smile.

“Hai. Yukie. Very kind, very smart. Very beautiful. Miyagi’s heart… broken, little pieces. Think never love again.

“I come to Hawaii in shame, start working small jobs. Fix carts, fix roads, cut cane in fields. Then… meet Sakiko.”

He stopped for a gulp of sake, then continued in a faraway voice, “And she smart, and kind, and beautiful too. Her laugh was like… sun, here.” He patted his chest. “Each time, little piece of heart come back. One day I ask, Will you marry me? And she not laugh. Say yes.”

Another gulp.

“Luckiest guy on Earth.”

Amanda drank, too, hoping it would make her throat less tight. It didn’t.

“And you were still nervous?”

“Of course. Sakiko was sunshine, I was bum with broken heart! Didn’t believe second chance at love. Too rare. Like, blow it with Yukie in Okinawa then, blow it with Sakiko in Hawaii now, you know?”

Despite everything Amanda had to bite on an unexpected smile. That last bit was definitely a LaRusso contribution to Mr. Miyagi’s English.

“So, what did you do?”

“Marry Sakiko anyway. Say to myself, Must not lose to fear. Love… too precious to be touched by something like fear.”

If Amanda had been seated on a chair, this would have been a perfect time to cross her arms on the table and lay her head on them, if only as a cover for the emotions she could feel rising in her throat. But the table was too low for that. Instead, she took another gulp of sake and leaned forward on her elbows, her whole body slumping even as her mouth wobbled into a smile at the last sentence.

A smile that fell when Mr. Miyagi poured himself another glass and muttered, “This story no happy ending, either.”

He stole a glance through the open door of his bedroom, where he kept Sakiko’s picture and the little box that contained some of his most painful memories. Amanda swallowed, her eyes burning.

“I know,” she murmured. “Daniel told me what happened then. Mr. Miyagi, I am so sorry, that—”

“Eh, long time ago. Not worry.” But his voice was rough, his eyes shining wetly in the dim light of the lanterns. He reached for his glass, downed some of the wine; when he set his glass down Amanda laid a hand on his arm, gently, at a loss for how to convey everything she wanted to.

Somewhat to her surprise, he didn’t pull his arm back.

“Was boy, you know. Little American Miyagi boy, born California. Sakiko wanted American name, like George, Harry. I wanted Kanryō, like father. Sakiko say, Why not both? Many Americans more than one name. Last letter say, Little Kanryō Harry strong, kick hard.”

Mr. Miyagi picked up his glass with his free hand and emptied it in one go. A breath shuddered out of him.

“Miyagi pretty damn lost for a while after. No pick up broken pieces for many years. Too much work.”

Amanda was reluctant to remove her hand, still clasping his arm. She clenched her lower jaw to keep it from trembling and wiped her eyes with the thumb of her left hand.

Mr. Miyagi made for the bottle again, but seemed to think better of it. Instead, his hand flopped on Amanda’s, patted it once or twice, then squeezed.

Then he let go and leaned back, blinking at the ceiling.

“Life, you know. Sometimes work out, sometimes, ah… sometimes not.”

“That’s one way to put it,” said Amanda, her voice thick and echoing around strangely in her head. Mr. Miyagi looked back down again and peered at her.

“Not mean give up on life. Never know what you find next. Like chocolate box.”

Something that might have been a laugh in different circumstances snorted its way through Amanda’s nose. Thank goodness she hadn’t been drinking. Look at the dignified bride, snickered a voice in her head that sounded a lot like her own.

“Did you just quote Forrest Gump!?”

“I watch TV,” Mr. Miyagi retorted with what she could recognise as a rather poor attempt at his usual stone-face sarcasm. Not that she’d dream of calling him out on it. “Good for catchy saying. Sound wise later, when make this face and go hmm. Listen to wise old Miyagi.”

Amanda, flabbergasted, dealing with severe mood whiplash, and maybe just a little buzzed after Aunt Pat’s dinner and half a glass of sake, stared at him open-mouthed for a while until delight started to creep into her face, like a blush. Mr. Miyagi smiled.

“Daniel-san make same face first time figure out karate training. Mouth open, big eyes, ooh.”

“I know that face,” Amanda laughed. “I’ve seen that face. His eyes go…” She made a gesture with all five fingers extended, palm out, and smiled fondly. “He loves to make everyone think he’s got it all figured out. You know, control, balance, and everything. But then something will blow his mind and wham – surprise face.”

“Hai. Good moment. Great fun, too.” Mr. Miyagi picked up his sake again, both his moustache and his glass almost hiding his smile until he realised there was no alcohol left in it. “Miyagi father teach karate since small boy. This high.” He raised his hand at a height Amanda, through her patchy experience with kids, guessed must mean ‘very young child’. “Do kata, blocks, balance exercises. Build good muscle, good reflex, good head. Years to learn. But Daniel-san, only two month training before tournament. Had to trick mind for body build muscle and reflex quickly.”

“And did he have a good head?” asked Amanda, resting her right elbow on the table and her cheek into her palm, smiling at the mental picture.

That smile widened at Mr. Miyagi’s expression.

“Eh… Depend. Hard head, yes. Big mouth. Bit of a handful. Tended to rush into things, not look right, not look left – only forward. Sometimes not even then!” He raised his eyebrows in mock outrage. “And stubborn, like mule. If really no want listen, no listen at all, even Miyagi, even mother!”

He shook his head.

“Good head, yes, sometimes – but good heart, always. Big heart. Bigger than him.”

Amanda had to smile again at that. She and Daniel were the same height; she stood taller than him when she wore high heels, but she’d always been tall for a woman. 5’9 was the average height for a man. He did seem to have twice the average amount of heart, though, which had been one of the things that had drawn her to him in the first place.

“You know,” said Mr. Miyagi as he screwed the sake bottle’s cap back on, “Daniel-san tell me later he was angry when he and mother move here, to California. I understand. Left family, friends. Memories. Tomb father buried. And for place that no want them, no understand them. Funny face, funny accent. Get laugh at, beat up. Don’t know rules here, he say.

“Well, Miyagi know thing or two about Don’t know rules here. He say angry boy now. I see lonely boy then. Polite to old Okinawa fixer guy. Gentle with bonsai. Come down, say, Hey, Mr. Miyagi, can hang out with you tonight? I know mother work late, I know boys with bad attitude in school. I say, Sure, here bonsai clipper. Here story about Okinawa. And then, later, karate training. But even after tournament, still show up. Do kata, help fix house, talk. Talk a lot,” Mr Miyagi added in that special tone of his, dry but for the twinkle in his eyes, “but, er… listen, too. Listen good, for young man who talk so much.”

Amanda smiled into her palm, both at Mr. Miyagi’s words and the guarded but transparent affection in his voice.

“He is good at that,” she murmured, “when he wants to be.”

“Hai. Sometimes forget, but never for long. Love bring him back, always.” He paused. “Even when being bonehead.”

The word made Amanda chuckle silently.

“He really means a lot to you, huh.” Like you mean the world to him, she didn’t say. But then again she was fairly sure she didn’t need to.

Mr. Miyagi pursed his lips in thought. Then gave a short nod.

“Boy lonely when come here. Miyagi… lonely for long time then. Busy life, busy hands, yes. But, er, heart need busy too. Need love to give, to get. Like bonsai; no love, then no water, no help shape and grow. Root go weak. No good.”

His eyes fell on a little juniper on a cabinet – one of the many bonsais scattered here and there, in the house and the garden – and his moustache twitched.

“Then one day Miyagi realise heart get pretty busy, too. Turn out lonely boy with big mouth and hard head, plenty of love to give. When I get letter from Yukie that father dying, he say, I’m coming with you, Mr. Miyagi. Be there for you. And when father die…” He cleared his throat. “When father die, no more wise Mr. Miyagi for a while. No more funny jokes, no more smart sensei. Just little old man alone, full of tears and regret.

“Daniel-san lose father, too. Shared grief with me then, regret, guilt. Kind words, gentle silence. Help pick up broken pieces.”

For some reason this reminded Amanda of her mom taking up yoga after Dad left, like her, so they’d share an activity that was all theirs and help each other through it. Or Jessica spending six months in California after Amanda moved in, just so she wouldn’t be alone in a strange place.

She drank from her sake and smiled into her glass, trying to catch Mr. Miyagi’s eyes.

“That’s what a good family does,” she said softly as she set the tumbler down. “Be there in the good times and the bad.”

“Miyagi not very good family. No see father for forty years.”

“No, but… family doesn’t have to be blood, right? You were there for Daniel and he was there for you. That’s the important thing.”

Mr. Miyagi shot her a side glance.

“True.” His gaze softened. “Once I lose baby boy. Later, I get young man. Not same, but not less.”

And before Amanda could figure out whether she wanted to smile or cry – and if she could get away with blaming it on the sake – he said in a voice that was a lot more like his usual matter-of-fact tone:

“You say Life happen – you right. I say Sometimes work out, sometimes not – Miyagi also right. But life is people, too. And…”

He stopped, as though searching for words.

“Look, important thing about Daniel-san: hot head, kind heart. Always fight for what believe, here.” He put his hand over his heart. “And what Daniel-san believe most is family, friends. Trust. Support in hard times. No walk away from difficult situation – go right toward trouble and say, I make this right. And I think you same, Amanda-san.”

“Mr. Miyagi,” said Amanda in a small voice, putting her chin in both her hands and leaning with her elbows on the table, “if you’re trying to promise me we’ll never have problems, I’m not gonna believe you.”

“No. You will have problems – plenty good couple have problems. But you and Daniel-san, love each other very much. Work through problems. Make good team.” He looked her in the eyes again. “Worth it.”

“I know,” murmured Amanda. “Believe me, I know.”

Fact was, she did know, and she’d known for a long time, way before anxiety had started to whisper inside her brain. She did have doubts, and fears, and insecurities – but never about that.

Maybe sometimes all you needed was someone to lay out the inside of your head for you and show you what was in it. In the light of tea, sake, and good insights, everything became just that little bit clearer.

Mr. Miyagi was smiling.

“So. You better?”

Amanda gave the question some consideration.

“Yes,” she said eventually with a solemn nod, “I’m better.”

“There you go. Power of matcha and nihonshu3. Work every time.”

“Power of a good host, too,” she pointed out, “and a good friend. Thank you, Mr. Miyagi.”

“Ah, no thank me. Want guest room? Is late. And you getting married tomorrow.”

She gave a laugh. “There is that, yeah. But I think I’ll go home. Thanks for the offer, though. And the perspective.”

Mr. Miyagi nodded and started getting to his feet, slower than before. The two glasses of sake and the late hour were taking their toll, like it did on Amanda.

“Thank you for company. Always welcome here. And, er, Amanda-san?”

“Yes?”

He hesitated again, although this time it didn’t look like he was searching for the right English words, but rather bracing himself.

“Next month, fifty-five years since… since telegram. I know Daniel-san come – not like it when Miyagi alone that night.” He cleared his throat. “If you… if you want to come, too… have tea, perhaps drink some sake in memory, then… Would be good. To have you.”

Amanda’s breath caught in her throat.

“I would like that,” she said softly, but with feeling. “I would like that very much. Thank you.”

Silence fell between them, soft and comfortable, a bridge rather than a divide.

When the moment broke, Amanda retrieved her handbag and her coat to leave; but as she went to open the door she let her hand fall and turned back to him.

“Mr. Miyagi?”

“Hm?”

She bit her lip, tasting the remnant of the lipstick she’d put on before leaving her and Daniel’s apartment. It felt like ages ago now.

“I, uh… I’d planned to walk down the aisle alone. You know, there’s a tradition that the father of the bride gives her away, but… well, you know. He’s not… He won’t be there. So.” Heat was rushing in her cheeks and ears which would have been convenient to blame on the sake, but a complete lie. “Would you… come with me? Give me away?”

Mr. Miyagi didn’t answer straight away, and she faltered a little.

“I know you’re already Daniel’s best man, so it’d be a bit irregular, but—”

Mr. Miyagi made a dismissive hand gesture.

“This first American wedding Miyagi go to, not suppose to know what regular or irregular. Good excuse if someone say Oh, can’t do that. But… Important for you?”

“Yes,” Amanda said, the word rushing out of her along with a breath. “Yes, it’d be… it’s important.”

“Then Miyagi honoured to give you away, Amanda-san.”

He bowed, very formal and deliberate. She bowed back in the same manner, careful to keep her eyes on his, smiling warmly.

Her heart finally at peace.

* * *

The apartment was dark and silent when she turned the key in the lock and walked in as noiselessly as she could. She hadn’t let Daniel know she was coming home. He must have gone to bed by now.

The kitchen still smelled faintly of mac and cheese when she passed by the open door.

Daniel’s go-to comfort food.

Amanda smiled fondly. Perhaps she hadn’t been the only one in need of some reassurance tonight.

The feeling was confirmed when she stopped in the bathroom to change into her night clothes. The laundry hamper had gained a couple of additions in a few hours, ie. sweatpants and a t-shirt, though the most telling was Daniel’s headband, carefully set aside to be washed by hand later. His bath towel was damp. He’d definitely been practising something more intense than slow katas and breathing exercises. Sometimes they joked that if they managed to get a bigger place – an actual house, for instance – they might include a dojo just so he wouldn’t have to clear space in the living room to work on his karate.

The shapeless lump under the covers didn’t move when she tiptoed into the bedroom, but as she slipped into bed she heard a mumbled, “Hey, honey. Didja ditch your game night for me?”

“Kinda,” Amanda whispered back, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend. “Turns out I want to spend my last night as a bachelorette with you.”

“Aw. I’m flattered. And hey, who could blame ya.”

Sleepy and slurred as his voice was, the grin in it was unmistakeable. The accent, too. The more tired, angry or emotional he was, the stronger the Jersey came out.

Amanda snorted, and made herself comfortable. It was easy. The texture of the pillowcase, the scent of fabric softener on the sheets, the solid warmth of Daniel as she curled up against him and buried her nose in his hair – it was all familiar, reassuring. None of that would change tomorrow, or next week, or next year. And the changes that would come – their joint career plans, getting a house, having kids one day – they would face or embrace together.

Daniel shifted until he had his arms around her, too.

“You okay?” he murmured.

Amanda looked at him in the dim light filtering through the blackout curtains, closed eyes barely visible through the tousled dark hair flopping across his forehead.

“Yeah.” Quiet, heartfelt. Nothing stirred in her chest except the usual affection. “You?”

“Mhm-hm. Quiet night. Glad you’re here.”

Not a word about working out through possible anxieties. Daniel hated to make people worry. It was both an endearing quality and a frustrating flaw of his.

One breath, two, three, each longer than the last before his voice came again, barely audible.

“Still on for tomorrow?”

“It’s a date,” she whispered, and he let out a silent laugh. With possibly some relief in it. Amanda was too sleepy to tell for sure.

They fell asleep intertwined, arms and legs in a tangle, like any other night.

___________

1In 1999. (of course I checked ^^’) I don’t know about now, though.

2A candy made of peanut butter fudge partially dipped in chocolate originating from Ohio.

3Aka sake.

___________

💜

Please drop a comment if you like! I’m Belphegor on AO3 and the fic is at archiveofourown.org/works/42425775, except I can’t make the link clickable because then the post probably won’t show up in the tag. (dammit, Tumblr.) I’ll put a clickable link in the replies.

#cobra kai #karate kid #fanfiction #my stuff #I have a lot of feelings about this okay

[bxbygxxsx]

@sun-kissed-escapades tagged me and it seems fun soooo

Last song -

Hahahah I’m reading atm so got ‘reading soundtrack’ playlist on Spotify on.

Favourite colour - at the moment, like sage green or lilac

Relationship- poly & partnered but I’m currently only dating L at the moment

Last movie/show- ahhhh I’m watching a lot at the moment, rewatching big mouth and catfish the tv show, I’m rewatching a v nostalgic show for me called wild at heart (if ur British you might be aware of it) and I’ve also started watching devil in Ohio on Netflix as well. Also also catching up on Eleanor Neale vids on YouTube 😂😂😂😂

Sweet, savoury or spicy- savoury always

Last thing googled- raynauds syndrome 😩😂

Current obsession- the priest from fleabag/fleabag in general/fuck you calling me father like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it

I cba to tag people but if you see this and wanna do it, this is your sign!!!!

#rambles #Spotify