#the mummy 2 has a lot of good bits but it just doesn’t flow AT ALL for some reason especially after the first one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elizabeethan · 4 years

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You Are Bloody Brilliant

Part 4/6 of my Season 3 canon divergence series, It’s About Bloody Time

Catch up on tumblr or AO3

Summary: “Good morning, baby,” Emma hears through the haze of sleep that is still clinging to her mind. She nearly cringes at the random use of the horrible pet name as she feels a hand softly grazing over the skin of her stomach. “Happy birthday.” Her sleepy confusion grows as she thinks Killian has forgotten that her birthday’s just passed. “You were conceived ten weeks ago, today,” she hears through a small chuckle. “One of the best nights of my life, perhaps, but I won’t soil your innocent mind with any more details.”

A/N: It’s early! This story will be coming to a close soon! I’ll add 2 more parts, but I also don’t think I can resist writing dad!killian so it’s entirely possible that i’ll add a few one shots along the way. Thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged, and commented on this so far. The feedback I have gotten has been so kind and it’s what’s encouraging me to finish this story!

I don't have a beta so... sorry

“Good morning, baby,” Emma hears through the haze of sleep that is still clinging to her mind. She nearly cringes at the random use of the horrible pet name as she feels a hand softly grazing over the skin of her stomach. “Happy birthday.” Her sleepy confusion grows as she thinks Killian has forgotten that her birthday’s just passed. “You were conceived ten weeks ago, today,” she hears through a small chuckle. “One of the best nights of my life, perhaps, but I won’t soil your innocent mind with any more details.” Once her post-sleep brain fog clears up a bit, it’s apparent that Killian is talking to the baby this morning, softly giving the little guy an update on their development.

“You're the size of a prune, which I don’t believe I’ve ever tried before.” His hand moves away. “You've been growing all of your vital organs. And you're starting to look more and more like a little human now that you're developing knees and elbows.” His hand returns for a moment, circling briefly and leaving again. “Your mum should be starting to feel a bit better soon, but you're still sending her to the toilet to be sick every few hours, aren’t you, love?” she smiles, opening her eyes to see his head resting on her hip as he holds his new phone, the sun streaming through the salt-watered windows and making his eyes shine. “She’s also still very sleepy, but growing you is hard work. I think she’s doing phenomenally. She’s been complaining of heartburn a lot, which I didn’t know had a name, and she also might have some headaches.” he says, his voice still low as he presses a soft kiss to her low belly. “You are a troublemaker, aren’t you?”

Emma can’t believe that she’s falling for the most perfect man on the planet. Who knew that when she left him on that beanstalk, she would end up here, willingly sleeping on his ship and happily pregnant with his child?

“Ah, did you say good morning to your mummy, little one?” She chuckles softly now, slowly closing her eyes again as he presses another kiss to her belly and slides a hand up to pull her shirt back down. “Good morning, Swan.”

“Morning,” she grumbles out, pulling a pillow from next to her over her eyes. “What time is it?”

“According to the clock on my talking phone, it’s 7:23.”

“It’s just called a phone.” Her voice is still thick with sleep, but she can’t help but to smile at his inexperience with modern technology.

“That’s an impractical name. It’s used for talking.”

“You just used it to tell my baby that he’s the size of a wrinkly old prune,” she deadpans, eyes still closed.

“Just giving him the facts, love. I believe you would call it science.”

She smiles again before rolling over on her stomach, but as soon as she does, the motion jars her. Staying on the ship with him is a good idea in theory, but in practice, it hasn’t been helping with her nausea.

She groans as she moves to stand, grabbing onto his hand briefly to steady herself as she stumbles through the room to the basin. He’s behind her in a moment, his hand holding her hair and his blunt arm running up and down her back.

Once she’s finished and her face is wiped clean, he hands her a glass of water and a few crackers, their routine finally solidified. She’s even taken to keeping a toothbrush in his desk, which he also hands her.

“Ugh,” she starts after she finishes brushing her teeth. “I love this boat, but it’s not helping the morning sickness. Or afternoon or night sickness.”

“Boat,” he scoffs, rolling her eyes as she pops a Saltine in her mouth and chases it with water. He walks her back to the small bunk and sits her down, kissing her forehead before planting himself next to her. “We’ll have to work something else out, aye love?”

She nods. “I always sleep so well here, but I guess I can’t handle the waves.” It’s true that she’s been sleeping better when she sleeps with him, so each time Henry spends the night at Regina’s, Emma spends the night with Killian.

“Tragic,” he says, his arm sliding around her waist. “Though the applications say you should be starting to feel better soon.”

“Apps.”

“Either way. I suppose now is as good a time as any to show you what I’ve been working on.”

She brings her brows together and looks up to him, seeing his bright eyes shimmering back down at her. “What have you been working on?”

“Perhaps I’ll show you tonight after work.” Emma groans at the concept of going to the station, leaning her head onto his shoulder as he chuckles and holds her slightly tighter and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I wouldn’t argue if you chose to stay home today, though.”

His use of the word home makes her grin against his shoulder. They haven’t spoken much at all about what they’re doing here, but it almost feels like they don’t have to. He was right when he said not much needed to change between them— aside from the whole baby thing. She supposes that now she doesn’t have to sneak out, and Mary Margaret blessedly doesn’t assume she’s sneaking off to meet her ex.

If anything, she’s been feeling more secure in whatever it is that they share. Something shifted three weeks ago once they saw the little life they created. She’s heard that it’s difficult for dads to feel the full impact of fatherhood before the baby’s born, and if Killian becomes any better of a father than he has been so far, she might not survive the process of raising this kid with him.

This pregnancy is different from her last. She assumes it’s because of the changes her body has gone through over the last 12 years— she was practically a child herself the last time she was pregnant. This time around, she’s noticed that her morning (and afternoon, and evening) sickness is far more severe, as is her fatigue and breast tenderness.

She’s also recently become horny as hell.

For the last few weeks, she hasn’t really felt in the mood for sex because of how sick she’s been, but the nausea has started to fade a bit, giving way to arousal a few days ago when she watched Killian happily research the best apps for tracking gestation and fetal development. It’s the little things, she supposes.

She’s still frustrated from their date night, when she solicited him for sex and then promptly fell asleep, but damn if that wasn’t the best date she’s ever been on.

“Maybe I can stay for a little while longer,” she says softly, pressing her nose into his neck just below his ear. Her favorite part about waking up to him is the fact that he doesn’t wear a shirt to bed, giving her as much access to his fair and tattered skin as she could possibly desire.

“That so?” he asks, the shift in his tone evident. She nods against his neck and nips at his ear lobe. “Are you sure it’s… safe?”

“It’s not like I can get pregnant again,” she says, laughing lightly as her hand runs up his scarred back.

“I meant for the baby, love. Is it… I mean…”

“You're not gonna hurt him, Killian. The female body takes precautions to make sure of that.”

He nods softly, turning his head to press a gentle kiss to her temple. “Are you sure you're in the mood, love? I don’t want you to feel pressured; I know you’ve been feeling sick.”

“Didn’t you read about increased blood flow leading to excessive desire during pregnancy?”

“Aye,” he chuckles darkly. “Although I wasn’t sure if that was something you were experiencing.”

“Trust me, it is.”

He breathes out in a huff before moving quickly to capture her lips between his, his tongue sliding over her bottom lip before she allows him in. His right hand slides up her side again, this time reaching a swollen and tender breast under her shirt, and she hisses slightly.

“Sorry,” he murmurs against her mouth. “It’s okay, it feels good, just sore.”

He nods, sliding his thumb over her nipple and kissing her again before whispering, “I’ll be gentle with you.”

She sighs at the feeling of his skin against hers, reveling in the sensation of being so sensitive to his touch. She’s barely holding it together just from his hand on her breast, so she can only imagine what sex will be like.

When she’s lying down all the way, her back against the pillows and his body nestled atop hers, he stops briefly so that he can back away and pull her t-shirt off, leaving her in only a pair a pink cotton underwear. His breath catches in his throat when he looks down at her, and she can only imagine the thoughts running through his mind at the sight of her suddenly massive boobs.

“Gods,” he mumbles, his eyes finally meeting hers. “You are the most beautiful goddess of a woman I’ve ever had the privilege of laying eyes on.”

She’s blushing immediately, and not just because of how turned on he’s made her. “You're just saying that because I’m pregnant with your kid,” she jokes lightly.

“Aye, but it was true before that, and it’ll be true once he’s born.”

“Could be a she.”

“Either way, I’m the luckiest man alive.”

She can’t take it anymore, she’s liable to start crying if he doesn’t stop with his sappy romantic words (or if he doesn’t get inside her). So, she reaches up and wraps her hands around his neck, pulling him to her so that she can kiss him with ferocity, their tongues dancing together and their lips becoming swollen.

He starts kissing his way down her jaw, her neck, her chest, until he reaches her left breast and starts swirling his tongue around the nipple, making her moan loudly and embarrassingly. She feels the smug bastard smirk against her skin, and she knows that her excessive horniness is not doing anything to tone down his excessive ego.

He releases her nipple with a soft pop and works his way further south, kissing her through her underwear as he scrapes his nails up and down her inner thigh, driving her insane. She’s close to shouting at him to get on with it before she feels him tugging the garment over her ass and down her legs, discarding them on the floor beneath the bed.

Once she’s bare before him, he spreads her at the knees and licks a long strip along her center that causes her to moan much louder than she anticipated, and she knows for sure that she won’t last long. He’s probably grinning as he sucks and licks and kisses at her clit, swirling his tongue so expertly that she thinks she might burst. Once his finger slides in, followed closely by a second, he curls them against her as he continues his work against her clit, and it’s mere moments before she a whimpering mess. She clenches hard against his fingers, her entire body seizing up as she rides out the most intense orgasm she thinks she’s ever had. Although, she seems to think that exact thing almost every time she and Killian are together.

His fingers barely stop stroking inside her as he somehow shimmies his way out of his boxers, the very ones he modeled for her last week when he finally made the switch to modern undergarments. He’s up at her level and kissing her, knowing exactly where she needs him before she can even think about it herself. As he lines himself up against her, he continues kissing her and eventually moves his lips down to her favorite spot below her ear, sucking and nipping and licking the sensitive skin. God has she missed having sex with him.

“Fuck,” he breathes out against her skin as he finally slides into her. She herself is moaning and whimpering at the feeling of being stretched by him. It’s slightly uncomfortable and a bit tender, but she’s able to quickly and easily push those thoughts from her mind when she feels him slide out minutely and back in. “Bloody fucking goddess, you are.”

“Jesus,” she says, throwing her head back into the pillows. “Fuck me.”

“It’s Killian,” he corrects.

She nearly has time to roll her eyes but loses interest in doing so when he begins thrusting harder into her, his hand holding hers above her head as her mouth hangs open in a silent scream of pleasure. He’s propped up on his left elbow, just barely hovering over her face, so she leans up and kisses him as he fucks her to oblivion.

She’s an absolute moaning mess after just a few minutes, and she can’t honestly believe how quickly he’s bringing her to this point. He’s always been great at what he does, but having sex with Killian while she’s pregnant and horny may be the most incredible feeling in the world.

“Killian,” she whimpers, and he lets go of her hands so she can bring one down around his shoulder and dig her nails into his skin and the other to her clit, her heels pressing into his ass to push him deeper. “Don’t stop. Killian, please don’t stop.”

He shakes his head against her neck, sucking on her skin again. “I won’t angel. Come for me, Emma.”

It’s as if that was all she needed, his words pulling a trigger that sets off the explosion throughout her body. She’s seeing stars as she comes with force, squeezing every part of her around him and potentially adding to the scars on his back. She buries her face in the spot where his neck meets his shoulder and bites into his skin, then releases as she lets out a shout. He’s toppling over the edge right after her, grabbing her hand and clutching it in his as he whispers curses and dirty words and loving little statements into her ear.

“Fuck,” she finally mutters once she’s caught her breath. “Morning sex is fantastic, but now I’m ready to go back to bed.”

He laughs against her skin, lifting his body off of hers, and she mourns the loss of his warm weight. “You may have time for a short nap, love, it’s not yet 8:00.”

“Guess it didn’t take too long, huh? I told you I was horny.”

“I’m not complaining, darling,” he assures her as he hands her a cloth and steps away to clean himself.

“Are you still coming tonight?” she asks once she’s cleaned up and lying comfortably in bed.

He sits on the edge of the bed next to her, running his fingers softly against her brow bone as he often enjoys doing. “Of course I am.”

“I’m nervous,” she admits.

“To see your own parents?”

She shrugs, nosing at his palm. “I just get the feeling that my mom is still… I don’t know, unhappy about this whole thing.”

He sighs and moves her over slightly before lying down next to her and kissing the tip of her nose. “Because it was unplanned?”

“Unplanned is the understatement of the year, Hook.” He breathes out a light laugh and nudges her cheek with his nose, urging her to go on. “My mom expected me to get back with Neal. It’s hard for her to see that that isn’t happening, no matter how happy I am.”

“You're happy, darling?” she nods and smiles at him. “Good. I’m just confused about why she wants you to be with him so badly after all he’s put you through.”

She falters slightly, cringing. “Well…”

“Swan, your parents know what happened, don’t they?” She shrugs, shaking her head. “Well that explains things, love. All this time I was racking my brains over why on earth they would want you to be with him, although I suppose I am rather biased. But now it makes sense.”

“I guess so.”

“Why haven’t you told them?”

“I don’t know.”

“Emma,” he starts, leaning up slightly and running his hand along her jaw. “You can tell me anything, love.”

“I’m just,” she sighs. “It’s embarrassing. He completely screwed me over and I was so young and stupid. I still can’t believe I let him get me like that.”

“You were a child, love. No one would expect you to have known any better.”

“Still. I spent my whole life not… not needing them. I turned out okay after everything. And I don’t want them to know—or I guess I'm scared for them to know—that maybe in that moment, I did need them.” He nods. “I don’t want them to feel guilty for what they did because I know that they did what they thought they had to do, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering how different, how much better my life would have been, if…” she sighs, words falling flat.

“Aye love,” he sighs after a moment, kissing her nose again. “But think of what you gained. If that hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t have Henry.”

“Yeah,” she breathes out, snuggling into his chest and fighting off tears.

“I understand that it’s scary and you don’t want them to know, darling, but it might make things easier for you if they did. You can wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of your life, but it won’t change anything, trust me.”

“I do.” He grins at her, kissing her lips softly, briefly, before pulling away.

“I'm sorry to make you talk of such disconsolate things so early, Swan. I didn’t mean to push you.”

“You didn’t, it’s okay. I know you're right. It’ll just be difficult to get my shit together enough to actually talk to them.”

He nods again, kissing her once more before he moves to get out of bed. “Would you like to nap before work, my darling? I’ll wake you at 8:30.”

She grins now, sighing as she snuggles into the blankets and drifts into a quick and dreamless sleep.

~~~~

When she finally gets to the station, a little late because, try as he might, Killian simply could not get her ass out of bed, her father is waiting for her. He’s taken over patrols for her over the last few weeks, mostly because she couldn’t go an hour without a trash can or toilet within arm’s reach, but she thinks it’s also a protective-dad thing. As much as she hates the idea of someone doting over her or thinking she can’t do her job because of her pregnancy, she doesn’t mind the idea of her father doting over her. It’s still something that she’s getting used to, and just another example of how different this pregnancy is from her last.

“Hi hon,” he says as she sits down.

“Hey,” she says back, taking a deep breath and nearly falling back to sleep on the spot.

“Feeling okay?”

She almost smirks at the knowledge that one of her pregnancy symptoms has been sated for the time being, and nods. “A little better today, actually. I was only sick once this morning.”

He grimaces, an unpleasant sound leaving his lips. “The fact that you’re sleeping on a boat can’t be helping matters.”

“Don’t let Killian hear you call it that.”

“Don’t let him hear you call his boat an it,” David laughs. She smiles too, reaching towards her computer mouse and jiggling it until the screen comes on. “Elsa might come by today, to look at some town records.”

Emma nods at that, excited to have something other than phone calls and paperwork to do today. “Sounds good.”

“Your mother is very excited for tonight. Wants to know if you have any special requests.”

She purses her lips in thought before answering, “I’ve been really craving steak lately. And onions.”

“Steak and onions,” he says, nodding then rolling his eyes with a laugh. “I’m sure she can figure out a steak recipe. She won’t make it for me, so I’ll just guilt her into making it for her pregnant daughter.”

She smiles briefly before letting it fade as she turns her attention back to her screen.

“She is excited, you know. For the baby.”

Emma nearly rolls her eyes, letting out a sigh as she turns back to her father. “Just not for the baby’s father,” she replies, and it’s not a question.

“It’s a lot for her to take in. She thought for the longest time that you were with Neal.”

“And I’m not, I haven’t been for 12 years. I just wish she could see that I’m happy where I am.”

“I know, hon. Just—go easy on her. She’s used to true love and love at first sight and all that. She was raised differently from how you were in this world.”

“Trust me, I’m very aware of how differently the two of us were raised,” Emma snaps, immediately regretting her snarky comment. “Shit,” she mutters. “I’m sorry, that came out sounding a lot more hostile than I intended.”

“No, you're right.” He stands from his desk, making his way to hers and pulling up a chair so that they're sitting close together. “I know that it wasn’t easy for you growing up here. And I often kick myself wondering how different things would be for you if we had been here, or if you had been able to stay. What we did they day you were born… I still have nightmares about it.”

“You do?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Hell, I carried my newborn through a hoard of Black Knights and sent her away through a magic wardrobe for 28 years. I don’t know if I can ever come back from that as a parent.”

She frowns at him. “You did what you thought you had to do, to give me my best chance.”

“Just like you did with Henry. And look at the two of you now,” he says with a smile, although she can feel the grip that her guilt has on her heart tightening. “Raising a baby from the start is gonna be so different.”

“Yeah,” she nearly whispers, her eyes stinging and her throat burning as she holds back tears. She knows what he means, and knows that he means well, but she can’t stop the feelings of guilt and regret from flooding her entire being. How can she raise this new baby after what she did to Henry? After she subjected him to being raised by the literal Evil Queen?

How can she tell him?

“Anyway,” her father mercifully continues, standing from his chair and stepping back towards his desk. “I’d better be off. Patrol isn’t gonna do itself.”

She smiles as he leaves the room, letting it fade immediately as she ponders her regret. Before she knows it, the tears she was barely holding back are free falling down her face as she thinks about what this new baby will mean to Henry.

~~~~

Emma has every intention of telling her parents about her past with Neal at dinner, and Killian couldn’t be more encouraging. When she got back to his ship and told him, his face nearly split in two as he smiled at her. Then he told her that he was proud of her.

But when they arrive at her parents’ loft for dinner, Henry’s there, and suddenly her plans fly out the window. She’s just lucky that her mother didn’t invite Neal or Regina, too.

It’s not that she isn’t elated to see her son, who’s been spending a few more nights a week with Regina. It’s just that she knows that she can’t have this conversation in front of him. She also can’t freely display any pregnancy symptoms for fear of him somehow putting the pieces together.

Once they're sitting down for dinner, she smells the steak her mother has cooked, and her mouth begins watering.

“You requested this, love?” Kilian asks, squeezing her knee under the table.

“Mhmm,” she nods at him, giving him a soft smile.

“It smells delicious, Your Majesty.”

“Thank you,” Mary Margaret says with a strained smile. She places the salad and dressing on the table before stepping away and returning with a bowl of mashed potatoes. Killian serves everyone some salad, then offers her the Italian dressing and she nearly starts dry heaving, shaking her head and reaching for lemon pepper instead.

“So,” Henry says as he starts cutting into his steak. “Are you dating my mom?”

Killian chokes a bit on his Merlot, placing the glass down graciously and patting his mouth with his napkin. “Uh,” he starts, looking over to Emma for relief. She shrugs. “I, um, well I suppose I’m courting her.”

Henry nods pensively, stabbing into his salad and taking a huge bite. “Does courting mean dating?”

Emma smirks at the fact that he will not give this up, and glances over to Killian. “Yeah, kid. It does.”

“So, you're not dating my dad?” It’s Emma’s turn to choke on her drink, trying hard to swallow the water left in her mouth. She shakes her head no, unsure if she can trust her voice. “I figured. You haven’t been coming to dinner lately.”

“Henry, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still love you. And I still have love for him because he gave me you. But your dad and I… we just don’t work anymore.”

“He said he wants to date you, but it’s your decision.” Mother fucker filling her son’s head with bullshit, putting it on her.“But you don’t want to date him.”

“I don’t, kid.” She figures honesty is the best policy.

He nods again, shoveling a large helping of mashed potatoes into his mouth as Kilian reaches down and squeezes her knee again. Her heart is racing, and her palms are sweating at her son’s interrogation.

“That’s okay,” he finally says around his potatoes. “I could tell Captain Hook liked you and you like him.”

“You could?” she asks, smiling slightly.

“He’s not really keeping it a secret,” he deadpans, and Killian laughs along with Emma. David smiles and Mary Margaret might possibly loosen up, a little. (Maybe the wine is helping on that front, too.)

As they finish dinner and move on to dessert—chocolate ice cream, at Emma’s request and Henry’s fierce approval— she continues to ponder her son’s maturity. How can a 12-year-old who’s been through so much be so easy going? She at first thinks she just got lucky, but then she realizes that she played no role in raising him. As much as it pains her to admit, a large part of his attitude is courtesy of Regina’s upbringing of him.

Guilt settles over her again as she thinks about the decision she made 12 years ago. She knew at the time that it was the right thing to do. There was no way she would have been fit to be his mother when she got out of jail. She had no money, no home, and hardly any means to take care of herself, never mind an infant. But there’s a part of her that will always regret giving him up, that part made especially large when she saw the emotional torment he went through for much of his short life.

Knowing what he’s been through with Regina, knowing that she herself played a very heavy hand in putting him in that situation, makes her stomach twist. But knowing that she now has a second baby on the way, one whom she intends to raise with its father when she didn’t do the same for her first, makes her positively nauseous, and she wonders if she’ll have to excuse herself for the restroom before dessert is over.

After they drop Henry off at Regina’s house, they switch places and Killian drives Emma to the pier, slowly and carefully. He’s been doing amazingly well at driving, and she’s surprised by how much he’s been able to pick up in a few short weeks.

Once they arrive, he puts the car in park but doesn’t kill the engine, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning his body towards her.

“Alright, love?”

She shrugs as tears immediately fill her eyes, her throat burning again as her chest feels tight.

“I couldn’t tell them with Henry there,” she practically whimpers, her voice sounding completely pathetic.

“I know, Swan. It’s alright.”

She finds herself struggling to look him in the eyes, so she focuses on the horizon and the boats sitting along it. “I just…” she can’t finish her thought, shrugging again and letting her body deflate into the passenger seat.

“Something else is eating at you, love.”

“it’s… it’s Henry. How can I… how can I raise this new baby when I…”

“Swan,” he starts, taking her hand in his.

“I gave him away. I’m the one who essentially sent him to be raised by the fucking Evil Queen. How can I do something like that and then just… it feels like I’m replacing him.”

“Emma, darling, you're not replacing him. You still have him in your life. He’s here and he isn’t going anywhere because he loves you.”

“it’s just hard to think about telling him. What if he thinks I’m replacing him?”

“He knows why you made the decision that you did, love. You can’t change what’s already happened, so at some point you have to forgive yourself and move on.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that to me today,” she says with a sound coming out of her throat, somewhere between a laugh and a scoff.

“it must be true, then.”

“I just can’t shake the feeling that at some point the other shoe is gonna drop and everything that’s been going so right so far is just gonna disappear.”

“I didn’t realize how traumatic this experience would be for you, love. It seems to be bringing back some strong feelings.”

She shrugs. “I guess.”

He nods, pulling her hand up to his mouth and pressing his lips to her knuckles. “Perhaps it would be helpful for you to speak with the cricket.”

“I’m not crazy,” she says defensively.

“I didn’t say you were, Swan. I just think it might be helpful to talk about these things.”

“I’m talking to you right now,” she says, her brows pulling together and a pout donning her mouth.

“Aye, and I’ll always be here for that, love, but it might be nice to have an objective person to speak to as well. I’m pretty pro-anything-you-decide-to-do.” She smiles at him again, finally turning towards him and leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder. “Just think about it, aye love?”

“Aye.” He squeezes her shoulders and laughs lightly, kissing her temple.

“I know we just got ho—back, but would you like to see what I’ve been working on? It’s almost finished, but it’s probably ready for you to see now.”

She’d almost forgotten that they discussed this briefly this morning, and she’s suddenly excited to see exactly what the hell Killian is talking about, so she nods against his shoulder and sits up.

He puts the car in reverse and starts down the road, struggling slightly to operate the high beams with his hook but driving successfully either way. He slowly makes his way through town, passing through Main Street until they get to the outskirts and he turns right into a parking spot. When she looks up, Emma sees a row of matching apartments lining the quiet street. The one they're parking in front of is lit up with a light that resembles a lantern from his ship.

“What’s this?” she asks when he turns off the car.

“This is my project,” he answers, leaving the car and circling around until he reaches her door and pulls it open. He offers her his hand, but she’s still stunned and hasn’t undone her seatbelt yet.

She’s snapped to attention and clicks the button, taking his hand as he helps her out of her seat. She takes turns staring from him to the small townhouse and back to him.

“Your project…” she starts, unsure of what else to say.

“Aye, love. Just something I’ve been working on upon arriving here in Storybrooke.”

He takes a key from one of his pockets and sticks it into the lock before opening the black front door and gesturing for her to take a step inside.

The interior is slightly unfinished with blue tape lining the walls, and there’s no furniture in sight, but she can tell that the space is beautiful. It’s light and airy despite it being nighttime and the lights being off. He moves to switch one on and stands a few feet back from her as if giving her time to process what she’s seeing.

They're standing in what she assumes will be a living room, which has fully constructed walls that still need paint. To her right is a small kitchen with beautiful black granite counter tops with golden flecks throughout paired with light wooden cabinetry. It reminds her of the Jolly Roger.

She sees a small hallway with three doors lining the space. She takes a few steps towards them, then turns back to Killian as if to ask permission to enter. He nods, and she makes her way forward, opening the first door to her right to see a bright bathroom complete with a tub. The cabinetry and counters match those in the kitchen, and she smiles at the consistency.

She leaves the bathroom and steps over to the door next to it, finding what she imagines would be a small bedroom. The room isn’t too large, but it does have a nice sized closet, soft cream-colored carpeting, and a large window. These walls have been painted a soft white.

She smiles as she turns out of this room, noting that Killian is still standing in the open living room area allowing her to explore on her own. She turns around to the door across from the small bedroom and opens it up to find what she knows must be the master. It’s the size of the small bedroom and bathroom combined and has two doors on the other end which she assumes leads to a bathroom and closet. Killian has an end unit, so this bedroom has a large window on two walls. She opens a door closest to the entrance and finds a deep walk-in closet with bright lighting and a large mirror opposite the door. When she leaves and opens the other door, she finds a huge bathroom with fixtures matching the others in the apartment as well as a large standing shower at least double the size of an average one with stones that match the tan cabinets with golden flecks and black marbling throughout.

Emma is astonished at what she’s seen, unsure what to do or say as she stands in the empty, bare-walled bedroom. She finds that she doesn’t need to decide what to do, because when she turns, she sees Killian standing in the doorway looking nervous.

“I don’t…” she starts, but the words fall flat on her tongue. She doesn’t know what to say.

“I’ve purchased the space and have spent my days finishing it,” he offers quietly.

“How long?” she asks, stepping towards him until she’s almost close enough to touch him.

“Few months, about two weeks after we arrived back here.”

She shakes her head, her mouth hanging open. “Two weeks and you knew you wanted to stay?”

He’s blushing, his cheeks and ears turning a hot shade of pink. “Well, property is a very good investment,” he jokes, not making full eye contact with her.

She laughs awkwardly and shakes her head. “Right.”

“But yes, I knew.”

She starts to cry, obviously. And he gives her the smile that makes her heart flutter, of course.

“Don’t cry, darling,” he says with a soft chuckle as he whisps away a tear from her right cheek.

“This is just…” she waves her hands around between the two of them, words failing her.

“I know it seems like a lot, but I’m not showing you this place because I want you to move in.” She nods slowly, sniffling and wiping tears herself. “I bought it so I could have a project; something to finish. I felt so lost, and I just needed something to take my mind off the fact that I probably had to stop trying to kill the Crocodile, or that Baelfire was alive and well but not the man that I’d hoped he’d grow into. And as I was working, every decision I made I forced myself not to consider what you would think. And I had to kick myself every time I imagined you standing in here with me.” She lets out a harsh laugh before sniffling again. He nearly whispers, “but then you told me about the baby, Swan, and I just… I have so much hope. You’ve given me so much, love.” He wipes a tear again, his thumb stroking along her cheek and jaw. “I just hope that you’d feel comfortable enough to spend time here. And maybe I can make the spare room into the baby’s bedroom rather than the treasure room I was planning.”

She laughs again and leans into him, wrapping her arms around his middle and touching her tear-streaked face into his chest.

“This is a lot to take in,” she finally says against leather.

“I know, love. You don’t need to say anything just yet. I just… I want to be there for the little lad or lass, and you, and I don’t think a newborn should be living on a pirate ship. At least not until he’s old enough to become a pirate himself,” he adds with a smirk that she can hear.

“Could be a girl.”

“And she would be the most fearsome pirate in all the realms.” Without thinking, Emma presses a kiss into the exposed hair on his chest as another laugh escapes her lips. “You don’t have to move in here, Swan. It’s for the baby.”

“The baby lives in me,” she says with a smile, pulling back slightly.

“I know,” he smirks back.

She breathes out a laugh. “It is a lot, Killian, but I love it.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” she breathes out, and she suddenly can’t stop imagining how she might decorate the baby’s bedroom here. Then she remembers that he’s not asking her to move in and she shakes the thoughts from her mind. “Maybe we can stay here, then, instead of the Jolly Roger, once it’s finished.”

“That sounds perfect, love. It should only be another week or two before I can get furniture in here.” She nods, still smiling into his chest and squeezing him tight as his hand runs up and down her back. “We can take it slow.”

“Yeah.”

~~~~

The following Saturday, Emma watches as Killian and Mr. Smee move furniture around the townhouse until he’s satisfied with the layout, and she has to say, he has good taste. He picked out pieces that that fit perfectly with the aesthetic of the house, and since the walls were all painted a soft white last week, it’s starting to feel a lot more like a home.

She thinks back to earlier in the week, when Emma visited Mary Margaret for lunch and was absolutely put in her place over her delusions about their living arrangements.

Emma told her about Killian’s new apartment, about the high ceilings and the soft carpeting in the bedrooms and the hardwood floors in the kitchen. Then she told her about how the baby’s room has a big window overlooking the sea, and how large the walk-in closet in the master bedroom is, and Mary Margaret shot her a look that she couldn’t quite read.

“What?” Emma asked, raising her brows and frowning just a bit. “I’m just surprised that you two are moving in together so quickly.”

“We’re not moving in together!”

“Emma,” she said with a light laugh. “That’s a little bit of a stretch, isn’t it? I mean, think of how much time you’ve been spending together lately. You're telling me that you aren’t now going to spend even more time at his new place?”

“Well,” she started, stumbling over her words. “I mean, yeah, we’re probably going to spend time together there, but that’s instead of the ship.”

“You are moving in with him eventually. Maybe not now, but you two are moving in together.”

“That’s a lie,” Emma defended childishly.

“Mhmm,” Mary Margaret said back with a smirk. “Whatever you say, honey. And are you planning on sleeping in your own bed tonight?”

Emma stared at her then rolled her eyes, knowing that she’s lost the argument because her answer is a big fat no.

Now, as she sits on Killian’s comfortable new couch and practically sinks into the cushions (a beautiful and regal red color, to match the fixtures in the captain’s quarters aboard the Jolly Roger), she thinks she’s ready for a nap at any moment until she watches him reach up to a high shelf to put glasses away and his shirt rides up slightly, exposing a sliver of skin on his abdomen.

And, because she’s actually a child and not a 29-year-old adult, she wads up a tissue and tosses it at him to get his attention.

He chuckles as he turns around, placing a glass back into the box it came out of. “Need something, love?” She nods and then reaches her arms out and makes grabbing motions with both hands because, again, she’s a child. Perhaps a toddler, actually. He makes his way over from the kitchen area and takes one of her hands in his. “Water? A snack?”

“I’d like a snack, yes,” she responds, tugging on his hand until he’s seated next to her and she hoists herself, with great effort and a bit of help, onto his lap.

“Mmm,” he growls as his hand makes its way around to cup her ass. “You’ve been absolutely insatiable lately, love.”

“Mhmm,” she says as she reaches down to kiss his neck. “It’s a symptom of my condition.”

“Your condition?” he snorts, slapping her ass lightly when she bites his skin.

“Mhmm.” She nods into his neck and starts to unbutton the few that are fastened and kisses her way down his torso and feels his breathing catch in his chest.

When she crawls onto the floor and reaches the button on his jeans, she pauses and bites lightly at his stomach, reveling in the feeling of his abs tightening in response. She undoes the button and slides the zipper down, scratching down the tops of his thighs as he sighs heavily and throws his head against the back of the couch.

Once she gets his jeans and boxers off (not before admiring the shape of him through the black fabric), she takes his length in her hand and strokes up and down a few times before wrapping her mouth around his cock. She hums and he groans softly in response, then she glances up at him through her lashes and meets his eyes with hers. She moves her mouth along his soft marble skin for a few moments before she feels the tip hit the back of her throat and his hand grips her hair, his hips spasming. He moves his hand down to her cheek and pulls her up a bit so that she releases him with a soft pop.

“I want you,” he says darkly, and she feels desire flooding her as he helps her to get up off the floor and tug her leggings and underwear down. Once she’s perched on his thighs, she feels his hand tracing down her body until his thumb reaches her clit and she sighs and rests her head on his shoulder. His fingers slide into her easily and he groans. “You're so ready for me, love,” he murmurs.

She hums and turns her head so that she can press her lips to his neck. When she feels him curling his fingers and circling his thumb around her clit, she grinds down against his hand before tugging on his arm. He removes it quickly so that she can reach between them and align him so that he can thrust himself up into her.

She lets out a satisfied groan at the feeling of him filling her to the hilt. She bites her bottom lip, pulling back slightly so that she can kiss him. His hand is running wildly along her back, lifting her t-shirt and sliding along her side until he finds her breast and holds it tenderly. They're still quite sore, and he has gotten used to fondling them gently.

“Bloody vixen,” he mumbles against her neck, nipping at the sensitive spot he tends to favor. “You are bloody brilliant. Amazing.”

As much as she thought she would hate it, especially hearing him talking up a storm on the beanstalk and in Neverland, she never tires of the way he talks to her when they're like this. The things he says are sometimes filthy, but never in a derogatory way and always in a way that makes her feel so much sexier.

“God, fuck, can you—” She lifts her head from his shoulder and makes a small circular motion with her hand and he gets the message. He lifts her body off of his slightly, pulling out of her and then tugging her shirt over her head. She understands what he wants, too, and unhooks her bra, releasing her swollen breasts practically into his waiting hands.

He hums and squeezes gently, obviously pleased with their new size, before she turns away from him and gets on all fours on the couch. He’s practically growling now, feeling her up and down her waist and hip before he leans down and tongues at her entrance, drawing an embarrassingly loud moan from her throat. She reaches back and tugs on his hair as if to say get on with it, and he’s up again, leaning his hips against hers and running his hand along her again before landing on her ass with a light smack.

She’s pushing back against him, falling from her hands down to her elbows before he finally lines up and thrusts deeply into her. She lets out a shout and moves to set her fingers against her clit, but he brushes them away and goes to work himself, bringing her closer and closer with each caress. After several deep thrusts, they're practically falling into the couch with him landing on top of her but not settling all of his body weight on her, his hand still stroking against her clit and his hook digging into the couch next to her. The new depth and angle as he continues to thrust and move his fingers against her sends her over the edge in nearly an instant.

As she falls, her vision goes white, her mouth hanging open and biting into the couch in a silent (or perhaps not) scream. He follows shortly after her, burying his face in her hair and grunting out curses and praises into her ear as his hips continue to twitch against her.

“Fuck,” she mumbles against the fabric of the couch. She’s unable to move, and not just because Killian is still lying on top of her.

“Aye,” he responds. He presses a soft kiss to her ear underneath a curtain of hair. “You certainly are voracious lately, darling. I must say it’s one of my favorite symptoms of yours.”

She hums. “I guess it is better than the constant puking and peeing and sleeping.”

He laughs and kisses her cheek once more before lifting himself off of her and grabbing a box of tissues from an end table, offering it to her and taking one for himself. “Alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, just ready for my nap.”

“Take one, love. The bed isn’t ready just yet, but I can get you a blanket for the couch.”

She nods, reaching for her bra and shirt. Once they're both cleaned up and dressed, she says, “we should start thinking about the baby’s room.”

“Seems a bit early, but sure,” he nods with a smile.

“It’s never too early to start planning. Plus, I’m excited. I’ve never done this before.”

“Aye, love, neither have I.”

She smiles at him as he stands, throwing away the soiled tissues and walking towards a closet to grab a black throw blanket. “So, no secret kids I should know about?”

He chuckles and scratches behind his ear, draping the blanket over her body and sitting next to her. “I was always rather careful. Although I suppose times were different…”

With the way his body stiffens, she knows that her joke has made him uncomfortable. A part of her worries that he thinks he could actually have some secret kids out there.

“It’s okay,” she starts. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I was just joking.”

“I know, Swan,” he says before gesturing to the couch as if to invite her to lie down. Once she does, he wedges himself behind her and arranges the blanket over them before he wraps his arm around her middle, his hand landing protectively over her belly. “I have no knowledge of any other children, and as I said, I was always careful. I suppose I’ll never really know for certain, though.”

She struggles with how to respond, not wanting to offend him, and settles on a joke. “Should I be offended that you weren’t careful with me?”

“No,” he chuckles. “I suppose I was just so enraptured by your beauty and the fact that you actually wanted to be with me that I lost all capabilities of logical thought.”

She laughs, holding his hand in her own as he rubs small soothing circles over what will soon be a small bump. “I’m happy.”

He pulls her a bit tighter and kisses her shoulder before saying, “good. So am I.”

“I’m glad you're here. With me.”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” he nearly whispers.

After a beat, when her eyes are starting to feel heavy and the circular motions of Killian’s hand start to sooth her into near sleep, she lets out one final thought. “I need to talk to my parents about Neal.”

His hand stops for a moment but resumes as he says, “I think that’s a good idea.”

“It’ll help me to move past everything. And maybe if they knew everything, mom will stop wishing I was with him.” He sighs, and she knows she probably shouldn’t have said that. She is on fire today with the offensive comments. “Sorry. Just… I feel like I’m mourning him. Like I knew and loved someone totally different and now I have to get over it all over again 12 years later.”

“It’s alright, Swan, I know what you mean. Baelfire was someone I could have allowed myself to love, as well.”

She nods her head against his chest as he tightens his arm around her middle and falls into a blissful sleep.

~~~~

It’s almost a week later when Emma finally builds up the courage to talk to her parents. She knows she needs to do this, that it’s important for them to know what she went through and how it’s impacting her now. Killian was right, her first pregnancy was traumatic for her, and now that she’s pregnant again, she’s finding that she’s having some trouble with the memories of what she went through.

He offers to go with her on Friday when she goes to Mary Margaret’s loft, but she declines, deciding that she needs to do this on her own.

She’s spent a lot of time at his new place over the last two weeks, and it’s only helping to add to the guilt she feels surrounding Henry. Each time she spends the night, it’s because her son is staying with Regina, but a more illogical part of her feels as if she’s abandoning him all over again by not spending time with him. The fact is, she’s scared to spend time with him because she’s scared that he’ll find out that she’s pregnant. If she’s honest, she’s a bit surprised his blabbermouth of a father hasn’t told him already.

Killian has reminded her a few times that this isn’t something she can hide from Henry forever, and that he’s smart and will eventually figure it out if she doesn’t come out and tell him. He’s right, of course. But she hasn’t really started to show too much yet, aside from what could be passed off as bloating, so she’ll continue to live in a state of unhealthy denial for a while longer.

When she arrives at the loft, she’s filled with dread and discomfort, but she knows she has to do this. When she told them earlier that she wanted to come over to talk, she was sure that they were expecting the worst. Maybe they thought that Killian left her, or that something happened to the baby, or that she was hurt somehow. So, when she arrives, they're both pacing across the floor nervously and jump when the door opens.

She apologizes for startling them, and for scaring them in general, then takes a seat at the table with her father following close behind. Her mother has prepared tea and brings over mugs and the kettle.

Emma starts talking and finds it near impossible to stop. Once she starts retelling the story, the memories are flooding to her mind as if it happened yesterday. The way that she thought for sure that he was the one, how safe she thought she was with him, the confidence she felt as she was piecing together her plan. The love she had for him at such a young age.

Mary Margaret begins crying before Emma even tells them about the watches, knowing that something bad was going to happen. David sits quietly in his seat, his fists and jaw clenched tightly. When Emma talks the police getting a tip, and then about her sentence, she sees his eyes glassing over.

When she tells them about how she discovered she was pregnant, two months into her stay at women’s correctional facility, her mother stands from her seat and hugs Emma tight, sobbing into her shoulder as she squeezes her and muttering out begging apologies into the air. She knew that Emma went to prison and knew that she gave birth while she was there. But learning that Neal left her there and never came back was evidently too much for her to bear.

Emma continues to tell them about how she gave birth to a healthy baby boy while she was chained to the bed and wouldn’t allow herself to look at him. About how she sobbed at the sound of his cries and still hears it in her dreams. About how she doesn’t know how to deal with Neal being back in her and Henry’s lives, especially when he was behaving so possessively.

“I hate him, but a part of me still loves him. He gave me Henry, and when we were together, it was really good. But he… he fucked me over. I was just a kid. He’s the one who called the cops, he tipped them off on where I’d be. And I was wearing a watch, so he got away to Canada and I got found guilty.”

“Emma, I am so sorry. For everything,” her mother sniffles. She’s still wiping tears away, and so is Emma. “I never should have pushed you towards him. When you said you thought you still loved him, before Neverland, I was so hopeful that you would get the chance to be with your first love. I had no idea how much pain went along with that.”

She nods, “I guess I didn’t really realize it either. Me and Killian have been talking about it and I think he’s right.”

“What does he say?” David asks, speaking up for the first time and clearing his throat.

“That the first time I was pregnant was traumatic. And that it’s hard to come to terms with my feelings for Neal when a part of me will always love him, even if only because of Henry.”

David hums and nods his head, adding, “big words coming from the pirate,” with a slight smirk.

“Dad,” she threatens lightly, switching over to a more serious tone. “I know this was unexpected, and a surprise and unplanned and all that, but… I think I’m happier now than I have ever been in my entire life. I was happy enough with Neal, but I didn’t realize that that relationship was kind of… it was kind of messed up. I was only 17.” David clenches his fists again and Mary Margaret looks like she’s seen a ghost as she takes a sip from her mug, the tea having long gone cold. “But with Hook, it’s just… it’s so easy. He’s so good to me. and I know he’ll be a fantastic father. I just want you guys to see that, and see that I’m happy now, with him. I don’t want to be with Neal, and hopefully now you can see why. Hopefully now that I’ve told you, I can really move on.”

It’s quiet in the loft for a few moments before David speaks up and says, “I want to punch him in the face.”

“Me too,” Mary Margaret responds, turning to him and nodding her head.

“I do too, but it was a long time ago and that wouldn’t help anything. Right now, I just need to take time away from him and let myself get over it. Hook says I probably never fully healed from it.”

“Well,” Mary Margaret starts. “I am surprised to hear that Hook was the one who encouraged you to tell us. I’m surprised, but I’m glad.”

“Yes,” David says in response, nodding at her this time. “The way I see it, you're right. Seems like he treats you well.”

“Yeah,” Emma says with a smile.

“I actually spoke with Ruby a few days ago and she told me that I needed to, and this is a direct quote, get my head out of my rear end.” Emma chokes out a laugh as she stares at her mother, who nods at her. “She said she’s known about you two since your birthday, and that she’s certain that you and Hook are… well, she said you're in love. And to ask you about a necklace?”

Damn you, Ruby Lucas.

“She said my secret was safe with her,” Emma grumbles as she pulls the necklace out of her sweater and removes it to show her mother, explaining the meaning of the shining green stone.

She fawns over it for a few moments and says, “well, I’m glad she told me. I think she’s right about one thing,” with a sly smile as she wipes away another tear.

Emma rolls her eyes, but smiles. Because yes, maybe Ruby is right about one thing.

~~~~

Tagging:

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz@laschatzi@emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @profdanglaisstuff@elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook

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theliterarywolf · 5 years

Text

So, Let’s Talk ‘Love Death and Robots’ (Episodes 1-9)

Netflix's newest foray into the world of adult-oriented animation Love Death and Robots is one more nail in the coffin of the notion that any adult cartoon has to suck off the teat of Family Guy or South Park.

The spiritual successor to the 80s sci-fi animation anthology Heavy Metal (in more ways than one, since LDaR was originally supposed to be a Heavy Metal reboot but lack of funding and copyright hell got in the way), Love Death and Robots gives us 18 different short stories brought to the screen in the medium of animation that range in all emotions from shock, horror, disgust, sympathy, hope, and, yes, even sadness.

Just like I did with Season 4 of Black Mirror, I am going to give my personal thoughts on each segment for those who want to know what they're getting into. However, since each of the stories in Love Death and Robots only range between 8 and 17 minutes, I will not go into spoilers.

Also, to do things a bit differently, I will also add in the ratings of 'Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?', to reveal if the sci-fi elements in a story were prominent or if it was more fantasy-oriented, and 'Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?' to reveal, well, just that.

Tl:Dr – I personally found Love Death and Robots to be a very-much welcome breath of fresh air to both the fields of adult animation and anthology shows. I forget what medium/site posted it but there's the sentiment of Love Death and Robots being what Black Mirror has been striving to be for its past two seasons.

And, yes, that comment is pretty damn appropriate. Love Death and Robots elegantly combines the darkness and unease of the technological unknown of the scientific condition with looks at the human condition as well as snarky dark humor. If you can stand blood, gore, and the occasional female-presenting nipple, you should definitely give it a watch.

And now, for the actual thoughts on each story individually. Remember, no spoilers.

Episode 1 - Sonnie's Edge

Be still, my Teratophile heart. Love Death and Robots' first entry hits the ground running, slashing, and biting with a strong female character and the dismal underground world that she’s successfully made her bitch. The first half of this short grabs you and doesn't let go until the second half starts and, admittedly, slows things down. Breathtaking for sure, Sonnie's Edge isn't my personal favorite of the anthology, but I can definitely see where a good chunk of the money went for LDaR.

… I also see this story getting the same treatment by tumblr that this website did to the San Junipiero episode of Black Mirror.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Bio-Mechanical Engineering of minor-kaiju type monsters. Also, the mental link software used for fighters to connect with said creations.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes to a TV series of Sonnie's Edge. Unlike some of the other stories in LDaR, the nuances and universe set up by the brief glance we got would work wonders if worked into a 12 episode show.

Episode 2 – Three Robots

In the biggest full-frontal flip of tone, Three Robots yanks us out of the grimy Cyberpunk future of Episode 1, to a comedic look at a post-apocalyptic one with our titular three robots taking a sight-seeing tour through a long-decimated city. Discussions are had about human nature from a neutral, but still comical, outside point of view and that's all I will say because, going any further will bring in spoilers.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Three of them, in fact, each representing a different aspect of robotics: one sleek and cold-looking, one humanoid with a neutral face, and the human-friendly models.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

Honestly... No. The story, as well as its ending serve their purpose best at the length and scope it has in its run-time.

Episode 3 – The Witness

'Yeah, but –'

No.

'If you just –'

No.

'It really is one of the best on--'

NAH, G, THIS AIN'T IT!

There needs to be a phrase: 'Cool Universe; Shit Story, Brah' to slap onto pieces of media that have a great aesthetic and a great universe on display... But just an awful story.

Because The Witness fits that phrase to a tee. If anything, the only aspect that The Witness has going for it is the stark color scheme against the dismal urban landscape and the sex.

Lots. And. Lots of boob-shots and bush-shots in this one, folks.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Did it? I don't even know what kind of technology was displayed in this episode. Apartment-based leather sex-clubs?

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

This would probably have been much better if it had an hour or so to build up the characters and the twist rather than flashing everything at a breakneck pace and forcing us to sit through a drag of a story.

Episode 4 – Suits

(No gif for this one; tumblr, you guys are slacking)

Best. In. Fucking. Show.

This one is definitely one of my top two favorites for the entire series. Everything is there: character, universe, writing, it's all great. Especially since, considering that it follows the 'Last Stand' trope and it would have been extremely easy for the writers to go 100% grim and miserable.

No, that... * sigh * that comes later.

You like farmers? You like mechas? You like farmers in mechas fighting aliens? You will now!

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Yes, several of them!

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

If we ever got to a point where Pixar made films for adult audiences, a feature-length look at the universe of Suits would be the vein they would need to hit.

Just maybe with a less noticeable frame-rate 'style'.

I'd also like to add this: a lot of people these days seem to have the issue with sci-fi and fantasy-oriented media because they feel as though they only cater to kids/teens (either the characters will be 'young adults fighting “teh systemzz” or high school bullshit). That and the worlds depicted don't draw anyone in due to how... unrelatable they are.

The fact that the characters in Suits are your typical hard-working, middle-aged farmers just trying to live their lives... while still having to fight carnivorous aliens in mecha-suits re-purposed from farming equipment really makes the short seem that much more human.

Episode 5 – Sucker of Souls

(No gif, again...)

Oh boy! The Castlevania Cinematic Universe looks great!

Seriously, this was the first moment during my viewing of LDaR were I was left wondering 'I thought... this was a sci-fi anthology..?'

That being said, though, I'm always a sucker for unique hand-drawn animation and the abrasiveness of the characters flow nicely together. Even though you can pretty much tell, at the five minute mark, that things may not end up too well, it's a fun ride in the same vein as the Brendan Fraser Mummy films.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Well, you see, the thing is, I – No.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

It probably could be a good Adult Swim animated series (in the same vein as The Venture Bros). But, other than that, it stands fine on its own.

Episode 6 – When the Yogurt Took Over

(Gif not from the show but still appropriate)

This... Seems to be the dividing point for a lot of people in regards to LDaR. You have a lot of people saying 'Oh, this one was dumb; it didn't make sense' or 'the animation was too cute to be so gruesome'.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. However, a lot of the people complaining that it was dumb or didn't make sense probably didn't grow up with the same dark comedy/gallows humor that many of us did/have sought out. Things like Little Shop of Horrors, Dr. Strangelove, Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei, Dead Like Me, Metalocalypse, Black Dynamite (the animated series), and others that I can't find right now because Google keeps trying to recommend me to Family Guy of all things when I type in my searches.

The story here is short, poignant, and pretty close to home despite the title giving you what you're getting on the tin.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Not really a robot... But the scientists in the story were working with genetic engineering. So, there you go.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

Mm... No. This is another 'watch it as is and get the best effect' story.

One more thing, though: The Narrator of this story is none other than Maurice LaMarche.

Mother-fucking BRAIN from Pinky and the Brain!

Episode 7 – Beyond the Aquila Rift

It is... so hard to do Cosmic Horror correctly in recent times. The notion of creating tales that show just how small we are in the grand-scheme of the sleeping nightmare behemoths who keep the universe running in the space between their frantic thoughts... Is overwhelming to a lot of people. So a lot of first-time attempts at it ultimately fail.

This story, Beyond the Aquila Rift, is one of my favorite entries to LDaR. Right up there with Suits.

And I will leave it at that.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Space-travel, hibernation gel/tubes, space-stations.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

And even that is a hard maybe because while you could build up the characters and their relationships a bit more, the resolution of this story works fine either way.

Episode 8 – Good Hunting

Is... Issat – Is that GOOD Steampunk in front of me? Oh Lord, it's been years! More hand-drawn animation for this one but the way it melds not only technology, magic, imperialism, and friendship but still incorporates the message that technology and progress can be used for great good and great evil... It depends on the morality of those wielding/pushing for it... Is really a high point in both writing and execution.

The animation, especially whenever the technological aspect comes in, really shines.

… You know, in hindsight, that last line could be seen in bad taste.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

The whole set-up is British Imperialist forces bringing Steampunk and subjugation to China. So, yeah, a lot of copper and a lot of steam in here.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

I know I've been shoving everything into 'could shine as a film on its own' category, but Good Hunting really is the type of story I would love to see expanded out and directed by someone like the late Satoshi Kon (Paranoia Agent, Paprika, Millennium Actress).

Episode 9 – The Dump

(Honestly, I’m not even sad that I can’t find a gif for this one)

This one... Ah... This one.

I ... Hm.

Y-you want to see old, dangly redneck penis? Y-you see old, dangly redneck penis for a good few seconds in this one.

But, yeah, this one is definitely... a story. Your typical 'stuffy white-guy pencil-pusher comes to scare old, grungy countryman off of his land/old, grungy countryman decides to tell stuffy white-guy pencil-pusher the story of why he's on said land...

And to go any further would be spoilers.

It's not bad, it's just... Interesting.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Well, it depends. Do you see pollution as more an aspect of sci-fi or an aspect of socioeconomic discussion?

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

I don't think anyone would want to see more of this story in either form, truth be told. It exists fine on its own.

And that's Part 1 of my little write-up on Love Death and Robots. This got a little long so I'll be posting Part 2 tomorrow and linking it HERE when I do! Seriously, if you can you should definitely watch the series and support some good adult animation so Netflix will push for more stuff like LDaR, Bojack Horseman, Aggretsuko, and The Kirlian Frequency... And less stuff like that damn 'Brickleberry But They're COOOPS This Time~!!'

#Wolf Watches #love death and robots

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creideamhgradochas · 6 years

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Thanks to the lovely @interestedbystanderwrites for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Cass, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Ha! I was a teenager and it was Backstreet Boys – and smut didn’t exist the same way it does now but that’s another opinion for another day. What I wrote then was cutesy and romantic, probably because that was what I was daydreaming about, I guess. Just a reminder that my blog is NSFW if you’re under 18.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I think I can get more depth from an OC but you also risk the Mary-Sue and you may pigeonhole your OC in race, sexuality etc. That can really open a can of worms with the reader, which is wholly understandable. Reader inserts are great in the way you can make it 100% person to the reader. They should imagine themselves (if that’s their choice) and not feel that the writer has alienated them in any way somehow but it is still difficult to please everybody.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I like fluff – I like things that make you smile at the end, give the reader a little cuddle to maybe brighten their day.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

One that never made my masterlist – a Spider-Man super angst titled “How Long Do You Want to be Loved?”. I thought it as okay, pretty good even – but I guess people just want Bucky or Sebastian smut haha I hear you all!

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Morning when the little guy is napping ☺ Evening is hard because it’s when I play adulting catch up… or try not to fall asleep on the couch.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

I have a very overactive imagination, always have. And for most of my fics, I guess it’s pretty obviously the beautiful aesthetics of Sebastian Stan and to a lesser extent, Bucky Barnes.

7) In your Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Chapters 27 and 28 of TOFWYA – more so 28 as you get a pretty interesting insight into Sasha’s and Sebastian’s ways of coping when they’re out of sync. Long story short, they’re a mess.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Luckily – none! The joys of a smolblog maybe?

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

I love writing for Buckster – he’s a complex devil and has a lot of layers to work with and a body to die for. Thumbs up for the material, Sebastian.

10) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

As per mentioned before – Peter Parker. That fic scarred me.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series?

It’s actually a song lyric as are the first few chapter titles: Belinda Carlisle – Valentine

I made a rule about you, I made a plan // For getting my feet back on the ground // Bury my face in clouds, for hours on end // But time only flies when you're around

12) How did you come up with the idea for the Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series?

I was just writing some stuff, pissfarting around and all of a sudden I’d written something similar to what Chapter 22 ended up being and that’s how it all began. 150k words of nonsense really.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Many – but there is a long Bucky multichap fic that deserves more of my attention. As his story has evolves via MCU, the story has changed a little.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I write one shots to TOFWYA, I don’t think I could write the sequel to it though. I’ve considered a full fic for Take Me to the Water but I doubt I will for an AU. Any sequels will be little one shots so at this stage, there is nothing planned.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I ended Next Year very kitsch – I regret the last sentence as it currently is: You gave him a small smile, overwhelmed by his words. “I love you too, Bucky Barnes.” Blurgh.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

How much time do you have for me to talk about @whostheblondegirlwriting? Truly. My fandom soul mate. We are separated by far too many kilometres and time zones, but between her job and me mummying, we’re chatting at all hours of the day. She is a true gem and I adore her.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Luckily, it’s not available on A03 or Tumblr, but it’s still online elsewhere because I thought about it a few weeks ago – it was a Lords of Dogtown fic… and it was not good. Saying that, anything before that I would cringe at anything I’d written anyway ha!

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Definitely music or the sound of the baby monitor that I find quite soothing.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Argh. “How Long Do You Want to be Loved” messed me up. Too many parental feels.

20) Which part of your Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series was the hardest to write?

The proposal. I went over it a thousand times. I thought, should it be romantic, should it be grand, should it be this or that? How it happened, just a couple in love, in the city they love, being themselves just seemed to fit when it finally came together.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I occasionally outline – but mostly I just write, write, write and then start toying with it afterwards. I’m constantly chopping and changing, but I’m not pedantic about planning. It isn’t that kind of fic. Other multichaps I put a bit more planning and emphasis on.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

You’re only as good as your last fic and its reblogs. If you’re going to get hung up on likes/reblogs/comments, you’ll never publish something again. But it can be bloody disheartening at times.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Time Only Flies When You’re Around? Haha busted my ass on that beast for over a year. It has the hits but likes and comments are encouraging when received. When. I always considered publishing it on Tumblr, but I don’t know. It’s freely available on A03.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Smut talks – I think Heatstroke is a little silly. But it gets hits.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Nope – any characters, inc OC’s are all fictional. I don’t know if I could handle people in my real life if they were like my OC’s!

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Any body that takes the time to leave a ‘yes!’, ‘omg’ to paragraphs of reiterating your story back to you – it’s amazing! Taking the time to leave a writer a comment makes our day.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

It still makes me laugh when I read it, not quite verbatim but it was along the lines of ‘I loved this fic but it’s gone a total 180. I’ll see how you continue but you know, I’m probably out of here’. While I know you can’t please anyone, it’s a strange comment. I’m old enough to appreciate constructive criticism. This was neither here nor there, but still hilarious!

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Back to my love, @whostheblondegirlwriting, we’re constantly taunting the other or beta’ing each others stuff when we have time to help the other (let alone write our own stuff!).

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

In real life? No. On this hellsite? I have made some amazing writing friends!

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

Ollie in TOFWYA – she’s a completely stereotypical New Yorker, brash, in your face and on the other hand, Sasha’s best friend in the world and they’d do anything for each other. If you knew Ollie in real life, you’d absolutely hate her.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

People simply enjoying your work and letting you know is the most amazing aphrodisiac. I’ll never stop writing – whether it’s for myself or for other people to enjoy. Don’t ever be scared to let a writer know if you’ve enjoyed their work or if you haven’t, a writer should be able to accept your constructive criticism and will probably appreciate your feedback if you take the time to provide it respectfully! If you’re going to go on anon and talk shit, just don’t bother. It’s boring, childish and completely unoriginal. Shows true testament to your personality offline.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Friends to Lovers. THEY WERE FRIENDS AND NOW THEY ARE… LOVERS!

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Not a clue – but will assume it’s Backstreet Boys-related!

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Smut will get you the hits but fluff is forever.

#milestone celebration #ask the author #interestedbystanderwrites

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rkxangel · 7 years

Photo

REACH FOR YOUR DREAMS; ROYAL SURVIVAL INTERVIEW!

interviewee: jung soojung / krystal valentine jung episode: 2

( tw: mention of loss! )

zero stage presence.

you have zero stage presence.

she knows that, she can’t lie to the world saying that she has a strong aura when it comes to dancing because she really, doesn’t. generally, the time she has shone is when she’s confident and believes in herself. what pushes her through the tough times is working hard, remembering that everything’s worth it if you’ve given it your all. although, things may not always be perfect all the time but it’s the dedication and trust in music that soojung pursues. ultimately, that’s why she never gives up.

there’s also the underlying fact that soojung is a modest and demure girl, keeping to herself which is probably why she doesn’t stand out as the other girls do. she has trouble smiling but she’s very delicate. she’d like to think herself as a diamond in the rough. before diamonds, there is the ugly charcoal. through pressure and heat, a beautiful gemstone is created.

she’s gotten better at answering these interview questions for sure. being aware of what to say at the right occasion is a plus, especially to the viewers and if anyone did support her in the first place. besides her boyfriend oh sehun, someone she can’t talk about publicly ( obviously ).

the first question strikes up, the camera is recording and she’s prepared for this setting. familiar with it that she doesn’t shake herself up internally for any sorts of questions that they were going to ask, it’s a survival show in the first place anyways.

what would you change, if anything, about your performance?

soojung purses her lips together, taking a moment to think carefully because there’s just so much she could’ve done to improvise her performance altogether. it’s clear for a fact that she should’ve rendered herself in a position where she had more limelight but at that point, she didn’t throw herself out there positively, more like on a neutral standing. she nods, “ah, there’s a lot i wish i could change about my performance.” a nervous smile cracks in, “i wish i could’ve been out there, you know? i did have fun but you can tell that i’m more of a person who likes to keep things to herself and i’ve been trying to open up. trust me, i think if i opened up more then i would have a lot of fun being a performer, ya’ know? besides having fun on the stage, there’s having this alluring charisma that makes people admire you. i wish i had that.”

the next question isn’t going to jolt her gut feeling, she wonders if it’s about herself or the vtr though. unknowingly, she doesn’t expect the question to be anything, but letting life flow for whatever happens instead of overthinking is the best method to ease any sorts of tension left inside her heart. she isn’t angry but disappointed at herself with the results.

tell us about your personal motivations/inspirations that led you here today.

this is a question that she can answer way better than the previous one for sure. because of the fact that soojung knows what she wants for herself, being adamant consistently with her hard work and endeavours. “what motivated me here today is to keep on reaching, aiming for the stars that i couldn’t reach. i remember when two years ago, i thought to myself that i really wanted to be in the royal garden!” she smiles genuinely, a big bright curve not only on her lips but her eyes are forming crescents as well. “besides that, it’s the love i have for music! when life gets for the worse.. and tough, i think of my mummy and dad who would want me to be a successful person. they’ve wanted nothing but the best for me.. especially my mum.”

her heart was tingling a bit the moment she mentioned her mum. the woman who was her heart, now gone and in a safer place. gone from the world. “i’m always going to try to be strong for her sake.” with the smile still there, it grows smaller and smaller. a teardrop was rolling down her cheek. she shouldn’t be crying on national television but this was the inevitable.

why did it have to be about family? she’s too fragile to answer that wholeheartedly, not that she didn’t but she couldn’t let out too much of her shell because she’s well-aware of society. the whole world is watching, eyes scanning on her coldness and labelling her for being a half-breed or ice princess. sad to say, she isn’t too surprised and has adjusted to how judgmental people can be.

hopefully, there would only be another question left or two.

the third question was,

what about the others? tell us a little about your family, friends, or those who are supporting you on the show.

still, a light topic to talk about. she didn’t have too many friends, her step mother was in france ( but that is someone that soojung can give no care about ), and she wasn’t sure if she had a enormous support base in the first place. soojung answers it with the first few people that come to her mind, “gary oppa! he’s very supportive. there’s sehun.. also jihoon, i think she supports me. i’m sure my auntie and brother are watching me out there!” she lets out a small smile, “for those who are supporting me, i’ll work hard for you guys! harder and harder! thank you.”

lastly, what do you think of seeing your performance on the final version of the vtr?

“what do i think about it?” she tilts her head left to right, contemplating for a moment before answering. she’s paused momentarily but she knows what to say, “i think i look pretty cool honestly.” letting out a light laugh, she presses on with her opinion of her performance. “i love hip-hop dancing but let’s get serious, ah. i could be better for sure. i am aware that i can be a good dancer if i learn choreography very well but.. i didn’t slay like i should’ve. so i’m disappointed in myself, honestly.”

before leaving, soojung bows her head down and then gives her gratitude to the cameraman and the staff.

#;sl #;p #kv;royalsurvivaldreams #royalsurvival2 #( mention of:#jihoonrk #rkohsehunn #rkkanggary #/ tw: loss #( wc: 1045

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justanothercinemaniac · 7 years

Text

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #118 - Kingsman: The Secret Service

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #343.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I love this movie. It’s so much fun, it has a great blend of style and character, and it’s just a treat all around! Honestly it’s probably the best Roger Moore James Bond movie without Roger Moore in it.

2) Hey, it’s Mark Hamill!

3) The bad guys are so polite in this movie.

Thug; “I’m under very strict instructions not to hurt you.”

4) Hey, it’s Jack Davenport!

Too bad he, like Mark Hamill, dies very early on in the movie.

5) The score in this film composed by Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson is one of the things that infuses this film with the energy it has. It has JUST enough of that classic 007 feel to know that’s what they’re going for, but not too much to distract the audience. The rest is a fun, action packed score which adds an extra dose of adrenaline to the film. I love it!

6) Sofia Boutella as Gazelle!

Boutella’s scar is quickly on the rise, having memorable rules in this, as Jaylah in Star Trek Beyond, and as the titular monster in Universal’s upcoming The Mummy reboot. And this films tells you why. It is a smaller role, especially when compared to Eggsy or the main villain Valentine, but every scene Boutella is in defines the character. She’s fierce but also incredibly loyal to Valentine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not human. You see bits of kindness, curiosity, wonder, and humor. Boutella merges all these qualities wonderfully in the villainous Gazelle and her scenes with Sam Jackson are a delight!

7) Samuel L. Jackson as Richmond Valentine.

Sam Jackson is great in this role. I honestly don’t think I’ve seen the legend give a bad performance. Has he been in bad movies? Sure. But he always commits 100% and gives it his all, and here’s no different.

Valentine is an interesting character in that he’s the best example of a villain believing he’s the good guy. He doesn’t want to kill people, he doesn’t want to hurt people, he wants to save the world, so he’ll get others to kill and hurt people for him. Samuel L. Jackson is a lot of fun in the role, adding a nice lisp which (according to IMDb):

Samuel L. Jackson's character of Richmond Valentine was originally intended not to have a lisp. However, Jackson completed his first take with a lisp. Matthew Vaughn yelled "cut!", and talked to Jackson, who revealed to Vaughn that, prior to having an acting career, he actually had a lisp, which he eventually overcame. It was also jokingly remarked that this lisp is Valentine's reason for being villainous.

It’s a great part of the film.

8) Harry Hart/Gallahad’s need for the Kingsman to progress past snobs already establishes him as an interesting character among the spy organization. It shows he truly understands what it is to be noble. That it’s not about the circumstances of one’s birth but how you treat your fellow man. But more on that later.

9) Taron Egerton as Eggsy.

Although the film was largely marketed on the star power of Firth, Jackson, and even Michael Caine, it is Eggsy who’s the real hero of the film and he is awesome! Eggsy is an intriguing character with a lot of nice layers/surprises which pop up in the film in fun ways. To start we learn that - even as a “punk” - he lives by a strict moral code of not ratting on his friends and taking care of his own, but he’s not below petty pranks of revenge (as in stealing a jackass’ car and then driving it backwards). He can keep a secret and largely fends for himself, only calling upon the favor Harry Hart offered him 17 years later when he REALLY needs it.

Egerton is fantastic in the role! He embraces every layer of Eggsy. The kindness, the loyalty, the rough edges, the temper, the brashness, all the contradictions and surprises, and he blends them together in a believably way. He’s funny, charismatic, and an absolute star on screen.

10) I never understand why Eggsy’s mom decided to marry such a shit after his dad died. Maybe because he can support them? I don’t know, but Eggsy’s stepdad is a prick.

11) I love this

Harry: Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I'd think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.

Eggsy: You can't talk to me like that.

Harry: Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.

Eggsy: Do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?

Harry: Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens' gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.

Eggsy: Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.

Hart: Now of course. Always someone else's fault. Who's to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.

Eggsy: Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Then we wouldn't be cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we'd do just as well as you, if not better.

I think this is great for a few reasons. It tells us a lot about Eggsy (gymnast, marine corp, huge IQ) but it SHOWS us a lot too. It shows up that he respects himself and that he’ll stand by the decisions he’s made in the past. It shows us that Eggsy takes shit from no one, no matter how in the right society may say they are.

12) I love the fight scene in the bar, otherwise known as “Manners Maketh Man”.

youtube

It is our first real showcase of the film’s stellar action sequences, which hold up for the rest of our two hour ride. I think the action is most marked by a fun, fast pace, but also incredible fight choreography. It’s an excellent case of action/reaction or action/consequences. Everything leads into everything else and it all flows so beautifully.

13) Remember how I said Eggsy had some nice layers?

Harry [trying to describe training Eggsy to be a spy]: Did you see the film Trading Places?

Eggsy: No.

Harry: How about Nikita? Pretty Woman? Now, my point is that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path that you needn't stay on. If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.

Eggsy: Oh, like in My Fair Lady.

Hart: You're full of surprises.

Eggsy is not some moron tough guy who’s masculinity is too fragile to watch and appreciate My Fair Lady. Harry obviously has this image in his mind of what Eggsy is (a guy who likes raunchy comedies and action movies).

14) Is it me or is the idea of a spy organization run totally on its own above any sort of law or government shady as fuck? And they use fear tactics to train their recruits and want them to willingly shoot a poor dog in a cold blood (more on that bullshit later).

15) I love Roxy.

She doesn’t get nearly enough screen time but is given some nice development in the time she does.

Is able to be civil in a competitive field without it getting in the way of her goals.

Has an incredible fear of heights and/or falling, but that doesn’t stop her from doing what needs to be done towards the end of the film (which is a great arc in and of itself).

Is willing what needs to be done to accomplish her goals (like shooting a dog to be in Kingsman).

We see her and Eggsy develop a nice friendship. Not a romance, not a will they won’t they, a mutual respect among peers and also platonic support. If the sequel can improve on the original in one way (and listen carefully Matthew Vaughn) it would be to include more Roxy!

16) Can we be honest? If there was a US president who would participate in the planning of mass genocide from this current decade, it wouldn’t be Obama.

17) The water tank!

Not only an example of the film’s great action, but also imaginative set pieces and classic spy thrills. Also - and I say this as a hetero guy - but Eggsy’s abs have even me going DAMN.

18) Me too Sam Jackson. Me too.

Valentine [after he has to blow up Professor Arnold’s head or risk exposure]: “He made me kill Professor Arnold. I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.”

19) This line really sticks with me.

Valentine [after Gazelle says she reached out to various secret services]: “Beijing. So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese Secret Service. Now that's what you call a secret, right?”

20) I’m a dog person, okay? I love this.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

21) Remember how I said that Kingsman is a shady spy organization? Well it should really follow the Captain America rule of ethics and not include any bullies in its services. The only two candidates who aren’t pricks are Eggsy and Roxy!

22) The skydiving scene - akin to the water tank scene - is a great example of the film’s wonderful set pieces and fun writing. It also gives us Roxy’s fear of heights and/or falling and Eggsy supporting his friend (and later fellow teammates) even though if he left her there it would mean he’d advance through the program. It’s so great! Even Merlin (Mark Strong) is getting tense watching!

23) I get hungry for McDonald’s every time I see this film.

24) The scene where Harry visits Valentine at his home for a gala which turns into a dinner date (basically) is a very Bond scene. They each have a sense for who the other is but play nice, act civil, make vague threats. I call it “Into The Lion’s Den.” Very 007.

25) This. Fucking. Quote.

Harry (quoting Ernest Hemingway): “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

I live by this fucking quote.

26) This film has some pretty great humor.

Harry (showing Eggsy how a knife hidden in a boot works): “Now do your very best impersonation of a German aristocrat's formal greeting.”

Harry: “No, Eggsy.”

[Harry clicks his heels and a blade pops out of his right shoe]

27) THIS STUPID BULLSHIT WITH THE DOG!!!!

Arthur [the head of Kingsman, handing Eggsy a gun]: “Shoot the dog.”

So the final test to be a Kingsman agent is to shoot a dog who’ve you spent the last few months training and growing attached to and if you shoot the dog you get in.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And later it turns out the gun was only filled with blanks and Harry says Kingsman only condone the taking of a life when it’s necessary.

(GIF originally posted by @karenmpage)

We only condone the taking of a life when it’s considerate and thought out, but we want to make sure all our agents are mindless coldblooded killers who follow orders without questions because that always works so damn well. You know, because we’re the good guys.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

28) The fucking church scene.

So Harry goes to a hate-group church in America which Valentine has shown an interest in to inspect it, and we hear a little bit of their extremely hateful rhetoric before Harry gets up to leave...

Harry: Would you excuse me?

Female Patron: Where are you going?

Female Patron: Hey! What's your problem?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And then Harry gets up to leave and Valentine (who’s in a nearby building) starts a mysterious machine he tests out on the church. What follows is one of the greatest action sequences to grace the screens of cinema:

Content Warning: The below video features hyper-violent, bloody, stylized violence. Watch at your own discretion.

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Everything about this scene is perfect. The choice of music feeds directly into the high speed sense of pacing, and the choice to speed up the film just a bit not only supports that same aspect of pacing but also gives the scene the quality of a runaway train. Because that’s what Harry is right now: he’s out of control! He has no ability to make decisions he just lets loose with every hateful whim that pops in his head. But probably the thing that makes this scene work as well as it does is the decision to make it a continuous shot. You cut back to Eggsy, Merlin, and Valentine/Gazelle as they witness this event, but the fight inside of the church itself is a continuous shot (or edited to appear as such). This goes back to my earlier point of how the action of the film plays very much into cause/effect or actions/consequences. You witness every little thing that happens. Harry runs out of bullets? He starts to beat someone with his gun. Someone just tried to stab him? He takes the knife for himself. It is continuous. It flows. And it is just an adrenaline filled scene to watch.

Note: I saw this twice in theaters, the second time with my parents. My mom loves Colin Firth and did not take too kindly to the fact that he murdered a bunch of people. She thought the scene was great, but she didn’t like that they made Colin Firth do that. My mom is very cute sometimes (like when she asked me in Rouge One when Chewbacca was going to show up, knowing full well he didn’t).

29) After the church scene, Valentine shoots Harry point blank in the head and hates how it feels. Gazelle points out that he just killed everyone in that church.

Valentine: “No, no, no, they killed each other.”

That is so fucking important for Valentine’s character. He doesn’t tack responsibility for any of his actions. He doesn’t see himself as the villain. He sees himself as a savior who hasn’t even killed anyone!

30) Note: The scene I’m about to discuss is best experienced without knowing that it’s going to happen. If you want to be surprised by it, skip on to note #31.

So skipping ahead a bit to when Eggsy has infiltrated the enemy base (since all the notes I made during the preceding scenes I’d made already), the way everyone’s head blows up in a scene I call “Pomp & Circumstance” is hysterical.

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In contrast to the hyper violent and sometimes too realistic fight in the church, the filmmakers opt to make a more cartoony and artistic violent scene. And if you don’t know it’s coming you laugh so hard when it happens (hence the note above).

31) The song choice of “Give It Up” as Valentine operates his hate machine gives it a similar sense of pacing as “Freebird” did in the church scene. This film really understands that music is it’s friend.

32) This scene seems weirdly empowering towards women.

Swedish Princess (who is captive in Valentine’s base, after Eggsy says he has to save the world before he rescues her): “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole.”

And in any other movie this would be written off as, “Oh, a guy wrote that line.” But this script was written by a man and a woman, meaning she had to okay it. So...weirdly empowering, right?

I think I should move on.

33) The fight scene between Gazelle and Eggsy may not be the sheer perfection which is the church scene, but it’s a fun watch nonetheless and it uses Gazelle’s blade legs to their advantage.

34) Remember how I said this film’s score incorporates JUST enough 007 in it? Well the little bit of horn we get just before Gazelle dies represents that perfectly. That’s a very James Bond moment.

35)

Valentine [after Eggsy has fatally wounded him]: “Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?”

Eggsy: “It's like you said to Harry: this ain't that kind of movie, bruv.”

It kinda is.

36) And we come full circle.

Kingsman is spectacular. It’s possibly my favorite spy movie of 2015 (which had Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, Spy, The Man from UNCLE (sorry @theforceisstronginthegirl), Bridge of Spies, and SPECTRE), definitely one of my favorite action movies ever, and hell it’s one of my favorite films of all time. It is just a fun ride with great style, characters, and acting. A true delight through and through. Go watch it now if you can!

#Kingsman #Kingsman The Secret Service #Taron Egerton #Colin Firth #Samuel L Jackson #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Sofia Boutella #Jack Davenport #Mark Hamill #Movie #Film #GIF

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mint-sm · 7 years

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LOS CAMPESINOS! REVIEW/ANALYSIS: We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed

Last time on the Los Camp review (suspenseful orchestral soundtrack plays), I went over “Hold on Now, Youngster...,” which was an excellent introduction to the band, but I don’t think was completely reflective of the refinement and impact it would later reach. While what was presented was impressive and lively as hell as is, and the foundation for a wittier, more poetic, more intelligent, more refined and diverse sound was there, they just didn’t have the a full-enough grasp on their visions to take advantage of it.

Well, just 8 months after the release of “Youngster,” the world was suddenly sucker-punched right in the face with “We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed,” which had immediately shown a much firmer grip on that path. Bare in mind, prior to the release of “Youngster,” the band had already existed for 2 years, and that album was something of a compilation of different songs they had been performing in university clubs and internet radio shows. It’s an excellent compilation, and it’s still very well put-together, but it likely wasn’t the most precise voice and identity resembling what the band intended to jump for, at least for the future.

With “Doomed,” they finally found ground for their true calling, and it was surprising as hell. Starting things off, the album immediately hits you with “Ways to Make It Through the Wall" with its bombastic opening chords, grimy feedback, incredibly-banging and dense melodies, crashing cymbals and blasting violin, and even MORE shouty vocals from the band, including Gareth almost incoherently screaming “AND A ROOM FULL OF VACUUM AND A ROOM FULL OF AIR LOOK THE SAME!” during the bridge. On one hand, it still somehow manages to feel like the good ‘ol Los Camp we knew, and yet at the same time you ask yourself “This is the same band that just released an album with a song called ‘Drop It, Doe Eyes’?”

(HOW YOU BREAK THE RULES THAT YOU YOURSELF IMPOSED / THINK YOU'VE GOT IT IN FOR US, I THINK YOU'VE GOT IT IN FOR YOURSELVES!)

I kinda mentioned this in my intro, but I would personally divide Los Camp’s discography into 3 periods: A “Twee Indie Period,” followed by an “Noise Pop Period,” then a “Mellow Rock Period,” and “Doomed” is found kinda sandwiched in between the first two. A lot of the fresh-new-vibrant-indie-ness of “Youngster” can still be felt, but it doesn’t quite reach the more experimental and even more noisy magnificence of “Romance is Boring” that we’ll discuss next time. That said, this transitionary period still feels like a massive blow to the head with just how much more powerful the production feels now, but it’s really, really welcome.

While I don’t really think other tracks in the album reach as much of an impact as the intro, it still does consistently have a more consistently… not “tight,” but “punchy” feeling to it. Much of it feels in a way somehow messier than “Youngster,” with a more abrasive side, almost garageband-like than hipster-y (though looking it up, I just found out that “noise pop” is an actual thing. You can see why I’m probably not the most qualified music critic lol).

Later bangers (haha see that I'm an awesome reviewer look at my lexicon) on the album, such as “Miserabilia,” the title track, and "All Your Kayfabe Friends" all have this less-pure, but still clashing feel to them, with more distorted guitars, harsher-sounding percussions, and more compressed vocals, almost sounding cassette-recorded quality at times. Even their comparatively softer tracks, such as "You'll Need Those Fingers for Crossing" and “Heart Swells/Pacific Daylight Time,” still feel very feedback-y and dense, if that makes sense.

(WE GOT NOSTALGIC, ENDED UP FILLING SHOE BOXES WITH VOMIT / COLLECTED SCABS IN LOCKETS, HUNG THEM ROUND OUR NECKS LIKE NOOSES / NONE OF IT MATTERED, NONE OF IT MATTERS, NOBODY CARED)

Now this probably sounds like “Doomed” is maybe too messy or harsh to be really accessible if you’re coming from “Youngster,” but honestly, it’ll all feel surprisingly pretty familiar since a lot of the instrumental sensibilities from that record still shine through and are in the forefront. We still have a lot of those plucky, lo-fi keyboard synthesisers, we still have the violin and glockenspiel riffs, we still have the many call-and-response verses between Gareth and Aleks, and we still have the upbeat, catchy melodies and choruses.

Not much theory-wise has fundamentally changed in that regard, except maybe the softer, lowkey ballads have gotten more distinctive, such as “You’ll Need Those Fingers for Crossing,” which not only has a constant, but soft and occasionally punchy rhythm to it, but again, has that duet aspect, and it flows beautifully.

“Between an Erupting Earth and an Exploding Sky” is also this great, a bit dissonant, synthesized, little screechy, but also rather ethereal and floaty-sounding instrumental, a track that I honestly think is one of the band’s most visual-sounding themes, one that provides one of the most clear mental images, like maybe you’re splayed out while floating midair as both the earth and sky are already exploding beneath and above you all in extreme slow-motion, where everything’s all violent and impatient and tense and shit but at the same time weirdly serene and kinda cosy? It’s like experiencing a terrifying apocalypse and yet it feels like everything’s going to be okay.

There’s also “Heart Swells/Pacific Daylight Time,” which on top of just being one of the band’s very few honest-to-god love songs that’s surprisingly heartfelt (it’ll get more surprising when I discuss “Romance is Boring,” believe me), the muted vocals, the reverbed, feedbacked to hell background ambience, but very crisp guitar and percussion just paint this beautiful, but kinda fading image that’s honestly one of the most sweet tracks the band’s ever made, but also one of the most vaguely tragic.

(I DON'T WANT TO SOUND TRITE BUT YOU WERE PERFECT / THE WAY YOU LOOK COULD SERIOUSLY MAKE NATURE DYSMORPHIC / I WISH THAT YOU WOULD KISS ME 'TIL THE POINT OF PARALYSIS / THE WAY I FLAIL MY ARMS IN FRONT OF YOU, IT JUST EMBARRASSES)

And then we get to the lyrics, and like I’ve said, this is where the band has started to get much more flowery and descriptive, and honestly very funny in a sort of cringe-comedy-ish way, accentuated by once again, dissonant instrumentals. “Miserabilia” in particular is just like a really jaunty, upbeat and smiley-sounding track, and there is a definite playfulness both sonically and lyrically, but at the same time you go “wow, this ‘miserabilia’ (because get it, misery? Memorabilia? Miserabilia!) isn’t something I should cling onto, but at the same time, it’s pretty natural to do so, innit?” There’s also a really cute and funny lyric about “He whispered, ‘Oh my God, this really is a joy to behold’ / I thought he said, ‘It's a joy to be held,’ so I held him too close / It was a grave mistake, he never came back again!”, and I honestly can’t help but smile at just how absolutely DUMB it sounds when I hear it.

But on the more depressing side of sardonic, there’s the title track, and it’s probably one of my personal favorite cuts in the band’s discography, not just because how much it hits close to home for me personally -- it’s about a long-distance relationship falling apart, and how over time you start getting more and more resentful of them and their diverging interests and they get so much more unfamiliar it makes you wanna break their new friends’ teeth in no I’m not still bitter -- but also because how it manages to perfectly encapsulate that snide, but genuinely frustrated catharsis, not just with the banging instrumental or the gradual vocal escalation as the song continues, but the really specifically-vibrant vignettes Gareth provides to really build this mindset, like how “Absence makes the heart grow fonder / fondness makes the absence longer / Length loses my interest, I'm a realist, I'm insatiable / Swapped counting days until I fly, with hours before your reply.” Really, if you can only listen to one song from this band, it’s this one (even if it is for the climax, which is absolutely incredible if emo-sounding as fuck).

(OH, WE KID OURSELVES THERE'S FUTURE IN THE FUCKING / BUT THERE IS NO FUCKING FUTURE / I'M JUST PRACTICING MY ACCENTS, PICKING AT OLD SUTURES)

Admittedly, there are some times when the lyrics really elude me on their exact meaning, probably because I can’t really pin down what scenario or what context they were born from, unlike the lyrics to “No Blues” where I can say “Oh yeah, he’s just making a football reference, right” (we’ll get into that later). Like the song “It's Never That Easy Though, Is It? (Song for the Other Kurt),” which I think is about the narrator meeting with a girl, breaking up with her, and I think like the on-off resentment he gets when she snogs with some other dude? I think? I dunno, I’m reading the lyrics and I’m listening to who’s singing what line, but I still don’t really get a clear scenario.

Though like I said, Los Camp doesn’t USUALLY excel or at least specify in making images, and are more for crafting mentalities, mindsets, and atmospheres, and you still get this kinda-restrained giddiness juxtaposed with deep-seated resentment/fondness about a girl and part of her family, which is a theme that continues on for pretty much the entire second half of the album, like with “The End of the Asterisk,” or “Documented Emotional Breakdown #1,” whose exact meanings also elude me, but they have an obvious, kinda “twee indie”-style jauntiness to them, but haunted by an understated feel of darkness.

(THEY SAID, "THAT BOY'S TOO LAZY", YOU WERE CLEARLY FOREWARNED / A JEALOUS EX SILENCED THE ROOM, HE SAID THAT YOU WERE A WHORE / "DO YOU KISS YOUR MUMMY'S LIPS WITH THAT MOUTH?")

I think that just about sums up this album in a nutshell: Twee indie-style jauntiness with darkness haunting under them, like maybe say, an erupting earth and an exploding sky? It feels like Los Camp have finally identified an ominous, impending feeling of doom underneath their twee pop exterior and is slowly bringing that out with noisier production, more simultaneously specific-yet-vague subject matter, and a lot more honest-to-god atmosphere, brought out with much more concise and evocative lyricism.

It marks the true beginning of what I think the band is all about, and redefined what to expect from them. Once again, the feelings it provokes are a simultaneous yet somehow distinctive mishmash of wanting everything to be raucous and violent and you wanting to break down walls and shit, but also at the same time wanting things to be more emotional and down-to-earth, yet additionally being resentful and anticipating that fearful, inevitable doom.

It really is a great addition to the band’s discography, and it honestly feels like the perfect halfway point between the band’s innocent enjoyment of a time and scene gone by and the massively sardonic bitterness of the future. What happens then? Stay tuned! (suspenseful orchestral music ends) (4.5/5)

FAVES: “Ways to Make It Through the Wall,” “Miserabilia,” “We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed,” “Between an Erupting Earth and an Exploding Sky,” “Documented Minor Emotional Breakdown #1,” “Heart Swells / Pacific Daylight Time”

PS, if you’re interested, I’ve also got an EEP released recently too! It’s electronica/chiptune fusions about a lot of cheeriness and sadness and shit! Thank!

#los campesinos #music review #we are beautiful we are doomed

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cosmonautmusicreviews · 7 years

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Run The Jewels 3-Run The Jewels (2017)

Run The Jewels is arguably the most prolific rap duo in the game right now, comprised of El-P and Killer Mike two of the most important people in their respective scenes they have released many collaborative efforts together and all of them receiving heaps of praise. El-P is from Brooklyn and Killer Mike from Atlanta two very different forms of rapping that clashed on their first full release together (Run The Jewels) sounding like an extension of the work on R.A.P. music, but preceding that record they worked together extensively. Killer Mike has featured on El-P projects like Cancer 4 Cure and El-P produced the entirety of Killer Mike’s R.A.P. Music, both of those records I would recommend for a rap fan of any degree. Run The Jewels 2 is when they actually came into their own bombastic intelligent and hilarious style of rap, Oh My Darling Don’t Cry, Close Your Eyes, and Angel Dust are all absolute bangers off of RTJ 2 they had found their flow and they found it good. But Run the Jewels 3, delivered on Christmas as if to say Mike is black Santa, is an improvement upon an already well functioning formula.

The first three tracks ease you into the record. I don’t really enjoy them all that much but they’re not bad. “Down” has a good message and good chorus vocals, “Talk to Me” has a smooth guitar, and “Legend Has It” is a good banger but these tracks just feel like generic club bangers that are above average. The first track that I really like is “Call Ticketron” the constant pulsing bass and descending 8 bit sounding synths are really just infectious. El- P and Killer Mike have good verses and the hook is catchy but kind of underwhelming but the track is still very good and it starts off the hype section of the record. “Hey Kids (Bumaye)” is another banger but is refreshing with Mummy reminiscent melody in the beat which is another pounding beat, Danny Brown’s feature was very energetic but I have a personal gripe against having a feature just for a features sake and that’s what Danny is hear for the most part but none the less the track is still one of my favorite tracks on the record because of the energy and the “BUMAYE” hook. “Stay Gold” is another one of my favorite tracks on this records the beat is just so fast it is speeding down the grooves of the golden record that I currently can’t afford the high hats and whatever that other noise is that sounds so good. This song is a very fun song that talks about girls with brains and asses (just what El-P wished for on RTJ 1) and kidnapping victims who have Stockholm syndrome so deep that they bake pies for the crew. It’s all just great and I genuinely laughed at this track.

Don’t get Captured fires off the more serious side of this record, it talks about giving in to a society that doesn’t operate in your interest and getting stuck in a ghetto environment. The hook is something that can be chanted by people attempting to get out of the ghetto or working up the courage to quit their jobs and tell the boss to fuck off. I love this track because Mike and El paint bleak pictures and put very belligerent ideas in the listener’s head. “Thieves (Screamed the Ghost)” is the first time the record really slows down and explains the narrative of a ghost. I like this track because of how it flows musically the interaction between Mike and El and back up Mike and El and the chorus has majestic violins and Tunde Adebimpe gifting his beautiful yet haunting voice in the hook and the end tail of this track. Up next is my favorite song on this record is “2100” the BOOTS feature is absolutely sensational and the beat is very heavy as well as the subject matter. A cry for peace and a stop for war and greed, this shows that the mentality of Run the Jewels is maturing. “Partner Like a Panther” is less serious but none the less is a good song. The hook is one of the most memorable in the entire album and the flows are buttery smooth.

The album calms down with “Everybody Stay Calm” the beat is more subdued and the hook is simple. Killer Mike sounds the most southern on this track and I like it he doesn’t really get into his southern sounds anymore. “Oh Mama” is another one of my favorite synths. The funky bass synth and the lead guitar riff blows me away however it does remind me a lot of El-P’s production on Cancer 4 Cure and that’s not really a bad thing because I wanted to hear more of that sound out of him. The second to last track is “Thursday in the Danger Room”. It’s about losing friends and loved ones it’s a very hard hitting track but Kamasi Washington’s feature is massively understated and pushed back in the beat and I wish he did something more prominent as he can get to very intense levels. The two closing tracks are mashed into one. “A Report to the Share Holders” is the first part and the production is absolutely breath taking. It explores ideas of hopelessness and being oppressed. It’s absolutely beautiful and is a juxtaposition to the second part of the last song “Kill Your Masters”, the beat becomes more aggressive and confrontational the surprise appearance from Zach de La Rocha blew my mind a definite improvement from “Close Your Eyes (and Count to Fuck)”.

This album is great there is no question that Run the Jewels have made 3 of the most important records in modern hip-hop. I was worried that this record was going to be underwhelming especially after the amazing second album. But my fears were proved wrong through songs like “Hey Kids”, “Stay Gold”, “2100” and the closing tracks. This record was amazing and if you’re a fan of hip-hop or just music in general check out this record.

8/10

#run the jewels #run the jewels 3 #rap #rap music #killer mike #el-p

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lookbackmachine · 5 years

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Brink! Oral History

[music]

00:06 Speaker 1: What up, Cinema? It's Chad Goes Deep reporting live. Dudes, when I'm scooting the S walks, I'm often mistaken for one dude, Erik von Detten, or as I call him, The Bear. And guess what guys? I'm never insulted. He has great hair, and from the movie I'm convinced he uses a leave-in condish, which is a good move. The Bear, Erik von Detten, also known as The Bear, inspired me to rollerblade, which I mastered in six months culminating my career in a sick Royale grind. The whole school saw it. He also taught me the importance of soul skating and full lettuce underneath your helmet. Or as it is also known, flow. His 1998 masterpiece Brink! Served as a benchmark for my development as an alpha male with heart from the tricks to the sick burns.

00:51 Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to win, but no matter what, win or lose, at the end of the day, I'm not you. So it's still a good day.

01:02 Speaker 1: I loved everything about this movie. My favorite part being when he chucks a chocolate shake in Val's grill. I copied that move when I was beefing with Dillon. It's over now. Alright, dudes. Now let's get down to Jake's script, which I've been told I have to read word for word. So this is going to be like a quasi-Chad Masterpiece Theater of sorts. Hope you guys enjoy.

[music]

01:55 Speaker 1: The Disney Channel began in 1983 like this. Goofy and Donald Duck costume characters were decked out in crisp white lab coats with their good friend, Donny Osmond, Beast. The ragtag crew was manning mission control to launch the signal to cable boxes around the country. The cost for the channel was less than $10 a month, and in six months they had 500,000 subscribers. Whoa, that's a lot.

[music]

02:19 Donny Osmond: And that as they say is just the beginning. In the months ahead you'll see more great movies for the whole family, more new shows that are fun to watch, easy on the eyes, and packed with the things that you want to know. The people at the Disney Channel want you to know that that's a promise, a commitment to bringing you and your family the kind of quality television you'll be glad to welcome into your home.

02:37 Speaker 4: All personnel, one minute to Disney Channel programming. Donny, will you start the audible count down, please?

02:45 Donny Osmond: Oh, you want me to start the countdown? Geez, this is an honor. [chuckle] Okay, we all set? All systems ready to go? Okay, you ready to roll programs in there? . Great, okay, here we go. Mickey Mouse, Earth station Mickey. Stand by to commence countdown.

03:04 Speaker 5: Mouse control, this is Earth station Mickey, you are cleared to commence countdown, Donny.

03:09 Donny Osmond: Here we go. Ready?

03:12 Speaker 1: The Disney Channel followed up their launch with their first made-for-TV movie, Tiger Town, starring Roy Scheider from Jaws. Not to be confused with Rob who was a gigolo.

03:23 Speaker 6: Roy Scheider, Justin Henry. In a special encore performance of Tiger Town.

03:31 Speaker 1: Dude, since then the Disney Channel has produced countless films for cable, but according to its official history, the first Disney Channel original movie or DCOM began with Under Wraps directed by Greg Beeman in 1997. Legend.

03:45 Speaker 7: The spirit of the mummy may be freed by the purity of the full moon and loosened to walk the earth.

03:51 Speaker 8: And he's walking your way on Disney.

03:54 Speaker 9: That's a mummy, cool!

03:56 Speaker 10: What are we going to call him?

03:57 Speaker 11: How about Harold?

03:58 Speaker 8: And it's up to these three kids to help him find his way back home.

04:02 Speaker 11: We don't have much time, right, Harold?

04:03 Speaker 8: Under Wraps tonight at eight-seven-central only on Disney Channel.

04:09 Speaker 1: Beeman would go on to direct a string of six Disney Channel Originals, but his most famous was On the Horizon. Hell yeah. In the '90s Disney had just purchased ESPN, and ESPN had just launched the X-Games, and inline skating was hip. Well, skating was much cooler but inline skating for Disney was pretty rad. And so, with its unique brand of synergy, the Disney Channel wanted an aggressive inline skating movie based on a children's story from 1865. I didn't know they had skating back then. And there's just one man to write it, Jeff Schechter. Not to be confused with Ryan Sheckler who skates.

04:46 Jeff Schechter: I always knew that I wanted to be a writer and thought I wanted to be a director too, and so I actually directed something and said, "This is way too much like real work." [chuckle] So I was like, "Yeah, I'm kind of happy to sit home in my pajamas and write something and be paid disproportionately well. I started working in editing in New York. I started for an apprentice sound editor and did it for about two years or so and read at that time a book by William Goldman. He's the guy who wrote Butch Cassidy, and Sundance Kid, and Marathon Man, and Princess Bride, and he wrote a book called Adventures in the Screen Trade, where he had all these different chapters. And there's a chapter on producers and a chapter on directors. And there was a chapter on LA. And the chapter began, and I'm paraphrasing, something along the lines of, "I find Los Angeles to be a dangerous and potentially very harmful place in which to live. And I recommend that anyone seriously considering a career as a screenwriter move there as soon as possible." [chuckle] So I read that and went, "I guess I'm going to LA." I threw everything I owned fit comfortably into a vehicle Sabre.

06:02 Jeff Schechter: And the big break came with the infamous Bloodsport II. It was a open writing assignment, I had written an action movie, the un-spec that the producer read and liked and he wanted to meet me to see if I was good for Bloodsport II. Basically, I quit my job about six months earlier, so I could just focus on writing. I had heard this principle that if you want full-time results, you have to do something full-time. If you do something part-time, you'll get part-time results. And it was true, I was writing part-time and working part-time, 'cause I needed the money. And I was getting, what I would consider, really good part-time results. Somebody would be interested in a script, they adapted it for a dollar. It was like part-time results. So embracing this, if you want full-time results, you got to do something full-time, I said, "Okay, I've got enough money for six months, and I'm just going to focus on writing for those six months."

07:00 Jeff Schechter: Worse case, I'm single, renting a cheap place. It's like, if it doesn't work, okay so I'll get another job. So literally, I was in month five and out of money, and I get a call from my agent saying, "This producer wants to meet with you." So I met with him, and it was just, there was no way I was not going to get that job. [chuckle] I was like, "I will do whatever it takes to get this job." I didn't say that to him, I didn't want to come off as desperate. I wanted to come off as confident, I guess. I had this good fortune. I'm from Brooklyn, and I've been in LA long enough for my broken accent to have diminished a little bit, so it comes out in bad ways [laughter] sometimes. But you put me in the room with people from New York and New Jersey, and it's like my old accent just bubbles up to the surface. As I go in to meet this guy, and then he's from New Jersey. He starts talking to me like this, and I immediately start talking to him back like this, and he was like, "Yeah, I really like your script, and we're talking." And every time he would say something like, "Yeah, well, I'm meeting with other writers." And I go, "No, no, there are no other writers." [chuckle] I turned into that guy. And then that happened two or three times in the meeting, and he wasn't put off by it, he actually liked it, because my people.

08:20 Jeff Schechter: So as soon as the interview was over, one of the jobs that I had been doing was I'd been working at a martial arts studio. And I had helped the Ester at the studio with a book on karate forms and stuff like that. So he had put a nice big picture of me in the front of the book thanking me for my help, and this is a picture of me doing this 12:00 side kick, which is something that I was able to do back then. [chuckle] If I do it now, I think I could do it one time, and then somebody has to carry me to the hospital. So I go, I race away from this producer's office, I go to the martial arts studio and say, "Master Cho, can I have a copy of that book?" So he gives me a copy of the book, and this is going to sound worse than it is, but it was really the only place where in the picture where there was room for me to write this. But basically, a 12:00 sidekick is one leg is on the floor and the other one is high over your head. And in that gap between my legs, [chuckle] oh my God, why am I telling you this. In that gap between my legs, I wrote, "There are no other writers." And I ran it back to his office and gave it to his assistant who gave it to him, and I got the job.

[laughter]

09:33 Jeff Schechter: I don't think I got the job solely because of my aggressive attitude, or [chuckle] my controversial autographing of that picture for him, but the action script that he read was a martial arts script, and it was a good sample. So I had at least the material to back up my Brooklyn attitude. And then the writing of Bloodsport II was actually very easy, because I didn't have to write out... It's a gajillion fights, this person versus this person, and set this match, and this round. And basically, I just wrote X fights Y, as much as you need, which was an old trick from, I think there was this writer, Lee Bracket, who used to direct Westerns. And I remember reading somewhere that Lee was notorious for when you have this cowboys chasing other cowboys battle going on. It would be like, "Cowboy chase, as much as you need," because what's the point of writing it, if you're just going to get stunt coordinators, and production concerns, and where it's going to be shot. So why you putting in all these things that everyone's going to just toss out anyway? So for all these fights, there's these 20 fights or whatever, in Bloodsport II, I just wrote, basically, this person fights this person as much as you need. These movies are not dialogue heavy, [chuckle] so it was easy in a way.

[music]

11:04 Speaker 13: The Kumite fought like the world's most awesome fighters. The prize, a ceremonial sword. A sword that one man will steal.

11:18 Speaker 14: Steal from James, it'll be suicide!

11:21 Speaker 15: Don't tell me my business.

11:24 Speaker 13: Now, sentenced to a life in hell.

11:27 Speaker 16: Why are you in this prison?

11:28 Speaker 17: Sold at a value beyond riches. It was to have been awarded to the greatest fighter on earth.

11:35 Speaker 13: His sword is rescued.

11:38 Speaker 18: If you wish to learn the Iron Hand...

11:40 Speaker 13: The ultimate lesson.

11:42 Speaker 19: I will show you.

11:43 Speaker 13: Is about to begin.

11:45 Speaker 19: Force is not the answer. It will break inside of you. Wear it as inside, it will never break. It is not about winning. It is about finding oneself.

12:00 Speaker 13: Because what he has stolen is a chance.

12:03 S?: What do you think all this is going to cost me to have the sword returned?

12:07 S?: One million American dollars.

12:08 S?: That's your price for your freedom.

12:10 Speaker 13: The prison that holds him is a path.

12:12 S?: It is a spiritual event.

12:15 S?: The Kumite.

12:16 Speaker 13: And the challenge that faces him is a war.

12:28 S?: You and me, soon just me.

12:33 S?: His arms are like cement.

12:35 Speaker 13: The world's greatest martial arts masters are facing the ultimate challenge. Bloodsport II: The Next Kumite.

12:52 Jeff Schechter: So I started off writing these action movies. I was just newly married, and we didn't have a kid, and I'm wanted to do something more family film friendly, so I wrote a spec script about a kid and a baby elephant, an action-adventure comedy family thing, and it attracted the attention of Warner Brothers, which hired me to do a production polish on a kid and baby panda movie called Amazing Panda Adventure. Right around that time I sold a big spec screenplay, so now I was on the Disney radar a bit, and they had another rewrite for a movie called I'll Be Home For Christmas with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I did my work on that script, and then just one day I was on the lot, so I just stopped in at the office of the producer who was working on I'll Be Home For Christmas. And we're just talking, I said, "Hey, so what have you got going on?" He said, "Oh, we've got this thing, a TV movie for the Disney channel, I don't know if that's something you'd be interested in." I said, "Yeah, sure, why not? I'm between jobs right now." That was Brink! It was an adaptation of the Hans Brinker story.

14:04 Speaker 1: Hans Brinker, or the Silver Skates, was written by Mary Mapes Dodge, an American author who became obsessed with Dutch culture to the point where she would ask everyone she knew for them to recall anything they knew about the land. With Motley's history of the Netherlands as her load star, she wrote Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates as a way of ridding American children of their prejudices against the Dutch, who I'm guessing were very anti-Dutch. Weird. The book was a massive hit and is still considered a classic. The book was a massive hit then, and is still considered a classic. For sure. For this piece, I've gone ahead and hired my British friend Buttersworth, my dog. He's going to read this brief section to give you guys a feel for the novel. Please enjoy.

14:47 Buttersworth: Thank you, Chad. Meanwhile, with many a vigorous puff and pull, the brother and sister, for which they were, seemed to be fastening something to their feet. Not skates, certainly, but clumsy pieces of wood, narrowed and smoothed at their lower edge and pierced with holes, through which there were threaded strings of raw hide. These queer-looking affairs had been made by the boy Hans. His mother was a poor peasant woman, too poor to even think of such a thing as buying skates for her little ones. Rough as they were, they had afforded the children many a happy hour upon the ice, and now, as with cold red fingers, our young Hollanders tugged at the strings, their solemn faces bending closely over their knees. No vision of impossible iron runners came to dull the satisfaction glowing within. Chad, I just want to thank you for having me here today. It's been one of the great honours of my life. Good luck and goodnight.

15:58 Speaker 1: Alright, thank you, Butters. So guys, that's the gist of the story, and almost 80 years after it was written, The Walt Disney Company adapted it into a television movie for The Wonderful World of Disney, in 1962.

[music]

16:31 Speaker 21: Hans Brinker was a Dutch boy who lived in a small village by the Zuiderzee. His story takes place about a hundred years ago. In those days, Holland had all the quaint characteristics we have come to think of as typically Dutch. All the charm and the beauty captured and passed on to us in the paintings of the great Dutch Masters, such as Vermeer, Ruisdael, and Rembrandt. Here in the fishing village of our story, the men pursued their livelihood on the sea for six hard-working days each week. But on the seventh, they took their folks to church. And that is where they'd been on a particular Sunday in Spring when our story begins. Among the good burghers on their way home from Sunday Mass was a humble family of fisher folk, called Brinker.

17:25 Speaker 22: What a wonderful day for a sail.

17:28 Speaker 23: On Sunday?

17:29 Speaker 22: Why not? We've been to church.

17:30 Speaker 24: We can go to the coast and have a picnic.

17:32 Speaker 25: Please, mother.

17:34 Speaker 23: Alright, I'll take a basket lunch.

17:36 S?: May I invite Inga Landgre?

17:38 S?: Of course.

17:42 S?: Do you think the burger master will approve?

17:44 S?: Why shouldn't he?

17:48 Speaker 1: Fast forward 36 years and we arrive at Andy 'Brink' Brinker played with glorious glee by Eric von Detten, The Bear. He is a bear. In the updated version of Hans Brinker, Brink and Team Pup-N-Suds are in the junior X-Games against the dastardly sponsored team X-Bladz headed by Val. A quintessential douche. It's a battle between soul skating and corporate greed. Something I struggle with daily.

18:14 Jeff Schechter: I looked at the book, the source material and said, "Okay, what are these elements that I think were going to make a compelling contemporary drama?" Sort of the hook was it's the Hanz Brinker story but with roller-blades, so that much we knew, so I said okay, what's the world today? There's skating, there's competition, it's X-Games, you know, what's the family dynamic? Well, Hanz Brinker had an injured father, so we gave Brink an injured father, so I said okay, what does that look like? Well, there's going to be obviously stress in the family, and there's probably money problems, of course, the father's going to have to get well at the end because it's Disney. And we know Brink is going to win the event, so it's probably some sort of tournament. So it's like just looking at the source material and saying what's still resonating today? And then saying where would that fall in to the structure of a well told story? Everything just laid itself out pretty nicely. As I recall, it was a pretty easy process writing the script. The internet hadn't quite exploded then. I guess I wrote this in '97 or so, so I had internet. It was really slow and pokey and very text based, so there wasn't a lot to research online, but there were a bunch of skinny magazines and skate shops who were all selling these videos that people were making of aggressive inline skating, so I bought a bunch of the videos and did my research that way.

19:50 S?: Hey check it out. Jerk weeds at 2 o'clock.

19:53 S?: Hi ya, children.

19:55 S?: Excuse me, but I believe we out-skated your sorry butts yesterday, old man.

20:00 S?: Anytime you want to go at it again...

20:02 S?: Cut it out.

20:02 S?: Guess you heard about Boomer?

20:08 S?: Yeah. How long's he got to be out?

20:10 S?: A couple of weeks. For sure he's out of the invitational. Means there's an open spot on the team.

20:19 S?: Yeah right. Like we're going to try out for Team X-Bladz.

20:22 S?: Like any of you have the talent. I'm telling you so that you garments know you're not invited.

20:29 S?: Good you told us. Now beat it.

20:33 S?: You don't get it do you? Being a sponsored skater is cool. I get all the newest gear whenever I need it. I get my picture in every skating magazine on the planet.

20:44 S?: Oh, now I'm nauseous.

20:47 S?: And I make a lot of money. Just think about that. Being known as the best, but the pay at the same time. What could be sweeter?

21:04 S?: Hey, look. We don't care about any of that stuff. We skate for fun. We're soul skaters, right Brink?

21:15 S?: Right.

21:16 S?: Yeah, right. Why is it that the losers always say they're in it for fun? Come on.

21:25 S?: Could you believe that guy?

21:29 S?: Skating for money.

21:31 S?: Sell out.

21:33 S?: Okay guys, we did it. We came this far, and I'm not going to let you guys down, you hear me? Just remember one thing, win or lose, skating is what we do, not who we are.

21:47 S?: Man, that was like deep.

21:48 Jeff Schechter: There was a couple... There were a couple of moments that I really responded to, and there was one line that kind of changed at the last minute, and it was a little... I'm kind of happy it changed. I'll tell you, it was when Brink is talking to Gabriella after she's injured, she goes over to the house and she's all mad at him, and he says, "Look, I'm really sorry, I was just doing it for the money. I needed the money." She was like, "We all need money," and then she goes, "And that's how it starts. First you do something you love, then you do it for money, and then you're an adult like everybody else." But then, the line got changed to you do something for love, and do it for money, and then you're just a sell-out, right? But there was something kind of pointed about by trying to hold on to your youth by don't worry about the money dude, just do those things that are exciting to you and that you love to do, and don't grow up too soon Brink, was really kind of the message. But I changed that... I don't know, I felt like I was slamming adults or something like that. I don't remember if I took it upon myself to change it or if that was a note.

22:57 S?: Gabby, I'm really sorry. I honestly didn't think anyone would get a hurt.

23:15 S?: And I guess for once, you didn't think of everything.

23:19 S?: But Gab, you got to understand.

23:22 S?: You were the one who told me about soul skating, about skating from the heart, and only skating for the love of it. And I believed you because you were my friend.

23:36 S?: But it was only going to be for a little while. My family really needed the money.

23:42 S?: We all need the money, Brink. What does that have to do with it? That's how it starts, you know? First, you do something that you really love, and then you start doing it for the money, and before you know it, you're just another sell-out.

24:17 Jeff Schechter: So, I really liked that line, and then I had this other line delivered by Brink's father to Brink. Which is, you know, when he tells Brink that the measure of a person is who your friends are and how well you keep them.

24:35 S?: I didn't listen to you, dad. I tried out for the sponsor team.

24:42 S?: When I told you no?

24:46 S?: We needed the money.

24:57 S?: Not so bad buddy, that we needed you to disobey us.

25:03 S?: I know. I guess it wasn't just for the money either. I wanted to be a part of Team X-Bladz. I wanted to have my picture in every magazine. I wanted to be a somebody. I don't know if you get that.

25:31 S?: You know, you and me, we're a lot alike. I used to love being a construction foreman. [chuckle] "Hi, how you doing? I'm Ralph Brinker, I'm the construction foreman." I used to love saying that. People looked up to me. Then I got injured. Suddenly, no more construction foreman. You want to know the worst part about being on disability? I didn't know who I was anymore. I used to define myself by my job title. But you want to know something? After being laid off for six months, I finally figured out that construction foreman is what I do, not who I am. Andy, you are defined by the company you keep and how well you keep it, not by what you just happen to do. And kids who skate, come on, California, they're filthy with them. You, you are Andy Brinker. You are a good son, and you are a good friend, who just happens to skate. And tomorrow, if you never skate again, you're still Andy Brinker.

27:23 Jeff Schechter: The script was just a lot of fun. I don't want to sound immodest, I've written plenty of stuff where you read it and you scratch your head and you go, "This guy's a professional? [chuckle] The story's too convoluted," or whatever. But Brink was just... It was just a good, fun read. It was fun kids with welcoming personalities, and occasionally they would say something fun and the family dynamic was fun. It just was a painless, whatever 100 pages. And I remember before I turned anything in, it's always like you would proofread it three to four times. And I remember going back through Brink and after like the third or fourth time reading it, going, "Even though I wrote this, I'm still not tired of reading it." So I was like, "Okay, I hope... Maybe people won't like it, maybe it won't get approved by the studio. If it is, it's for some other reason, because this is a fine read." And they were very welcoming to the script, they really liked it, and yeah, went into production really, really quickly. The director, Greg Beeman, was very faithful to the script. Greg was my hero, he was really respectful of the written word and did the absolute utmost to make sure that that was reflected on the screen.

28:46 Speaker 1: The film had its writer, now all we needed was a director. Greg Beeman, director of Brink!

28:55 Greg Beeman: I originally wanted to be a comic book artist, that was my dream when I was like 15. And then a movie called Star Wars came out, and kind of the night that I saw it in the theatres, I didn't know what a director was, but I knew that I had to do that. Then, mostly through naivete, and not realizing that what I wanted to do was hard, I found out where George Lucas went to college and went to film school, and I was like, "I got to go there," so I went to USC film school and sort of like ever since I was 15 years old, I've been focused on being a director. So I went to USC and I made some student films, and one of them won some awards. And it wasn't instantaneous, it was like a long, slow, slugging away, but I have never had any other idea, ultimately, that's my big secret. So I'm stuck with being a filmmaker and being a director. So coming right out of film school, I got a few writing jobs, and then I also directed a couple of music videos. But then the first thing I ever did, I think I was just like 22 years old, I directed a, at that time they had something called the Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights. So I directed two two-hour movies. And then the first movie I ever did was called 'License to Drive' with Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, and I think I was like 26 years old when I directed that.

30:08 Greg Beeman: At that time in the early '80s, and Michael Eisner had just come over and been the president of Disney, and Jeffrey Katzenberg was his second-in-command, they were newly there. So I think at that moment in history, they were looking for... The industry was kind of looking for film students, because I think the other thing that was happening in the world was the teen comedies were really big, and John Hughes' movies were really big, and I think there was a sense in the industry that if we get young filmmakers, they'll have more connection to teen material. So I think in some ways, that was my big break. In retrospect, I was exceedingly naive, but I wasn't also overly confident, but I just felt like it was normal to be doing this. I don't remember feeling incredibly nervous, even when I got relatively big opportunities, I just felt like this is what I wanted to be doing, and this is what I was going to do. It takes a little bit of a couple failures, which happened later before you actually can lose your confidence, which did eventually happen to me. The big one was Mom and Dad Save the World. So that movie took a long... It was held up from release for a couple of years, and then when it came out, it was a dismal failure.

31:14 S?: Finally, in motion pictures, that asks the age-old question, "Is there intelligent life in the universe?"

31:21 S?: You're welcome.

31:22 S?: The answer, is no.

31:26 S?: Doors.

31:28 S?: Teri Garr, Jeffrey Jones, Jon Lovitz, Kathy Ireland, and Eric Idle. Mom and Dad Save the World.

31:36 S?: You're a cute little fella.

31:39 S?: Directed by Greg Beeman. 'Mom and Dad Save the World', the film which opened nationwide on over 1,000 screens. The film the daily news said had broader laughs than Bill and Teds, and called it funny family fair like "Honey I Blew Up the Kid". Mom and Dad Save the World, now being released on home video with special foil packaging, and with each three bag you order, get 100 Mom and Dad Save the World recycle plastic bags to give out to your best rental customers. Mom and Dad Save the World.

32:15 Greg Beeman: And then I was kind of like out of the business, no one would hire me, my agents wouldn't return my phone calls. I think in the life lesson, if I've done anything right, which is the same as I had no better ideas as I just never quit. A handful of people that I went to film school with are still in the business and slugging it away, and still working and doing good with their own ups and downs. But I would say the bulk of people that I graduated with, in 1983 or '84, most of them are not around anymore. I didn't quit, which would have been the reasonable thing to do, so I eventually got a chance to direct TV, and I got a chance to direct a TV show called "The Wonder Years". That was the beginning of doing TV, which is almost exclusively what I've stuck with ever since then, and TV's been a good medium for me. I ended up having, for about seven or eight years, a very happy relationship with the Disney Channel. I got a chance to direct a Disney Channel movie called Under Wraps.

[pause]

33:30 Greg Beeman: Once I proved myself with Under Wraps, and once Under Wraps was a movie that they were really happy with, they started to just give me an enormous amount of freedom. It came onto my radar as basically a finished script. They had, I think Jeff Scheckter had originally pitched a version that was based on Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates, and I think he originally wrote a draft that was much closer to the original Dutch story, that I'm not that familiar with. X-Games and inline roller skating was just coming into the culture at that moment in history, and I think they had him kind of re-tool it. You know, the Disney Channel movies are a little more like how features are, once the script is finished, the director comes on board. And I think things were pushed pretty tight, I don't remember... I kind of remember I got the script and we went and made the script. I didn't do a significant amount of re-writing on it, there was a few things. Mostly we just went and made it.

34:21 Greg Beeman: It's one of the few experiences in my life where I just felt like I had an adequate amount of time to make the show. I think we shot for 24 days, which is an enormous amount of time for an hour and a half movie of the week. Usually, these days you might get 14 days or 15 days. It was hard. It was set in Los Angeles, and we filmed all up and down the coast, and mostly in Venice Beach and I also had my world record for most set-ups in a day. Every time you do a separate shot, and move on and then you move on to do another shot. I don't count how many set ups I do a day, as necessarily whether I'm doing well or not, but there was one day that I did 107 set-ups up in one day. A normal amount is like 30, 25 or 30.

[chuckle]

35:03 Greg Beeman: So that's the thing. There was another one of the competitions. I just remember going like... There was a big competition and we set up all these different ramps and stuff on the beach in Venice, north of Venice. I just remember about two thirds of the way through the day, I just kind of finished the acting scenes, but there was no way I was ever going to finish all the action, and I remember just being in dismay, like, "We're never going to make this day, we're never going to make this day." And my VP, who was from New Zealand, goes, "Yeah, give me your camera, mate. I'll go get some shots for you." This guy named Ernie Orsatti, who was the stunt coordinator, was like, "Give me your camera, I'll go get some shots." And I was like, "Okay, I'll go get some shots." So I grabbed five skaters, Ernie grabbed five skaters, and Rodney Charters grabbed like five skaters, and we just went off. [chuckle] And we had like six cameras and we just started doing shots, like, "Okay, you skate, go, roll, and jump, and do a twist and back spin, do a 180." So we just started getting shots, and shots, and shots, and shots, and shots, and at the end of the night, I had done 107 set-ups, which is still my personal best.

35:57 Greg Beeman: First off, let me talk about how the team I put together. So I mentioned that there was Bernie Caulfield. She was given to me by the Disney Channel. Did she do Under Wraps? Yeah, she'd done Under Wraps, so it was my second time working with her. And she brought the production designer on, who was great. I brought a cinematographer named Rodney Charters, who I'd worked with on Nash Bridges, and he was great. And in some ways, I think the secret weapon was there was a woman that I was friends with in film school named Lee Haxall. She'd been a post-production supervisor, but she was just transitioning into editor, and I knew how talented she was. So I kind of think Lee was the secret weapon of that show, because I shot a lot of film, just by nature. You know, there was just so much action, so many scenes and so many competitions, and Lee masterfully cut that show... And I will say in the course of... I told you I've had a 35-year career, I would say in my whole life, maybe there's four occasions and only two editors who ever show me the first cut, and I think, "Oh my God, that's better than I imagined."

36:53 Greg Beeman: Billy Wilder's famous quote is, "Your movie is never as good as your dailies, and it's never as bad as your first cut." Usually, the first cut that the editor gives you is like this disappointment where you go like, "Oh my God, I thought I knew what I was doing. Oh no, I'm in trouble." Like there... It's almost always a disappointment. But Lee's first cut of Brink was like on point, she just killed it. The way she put that film together and the way she cut all the music. The other thing about that movie, and you can hear I'm getting excited talking about it, it was a movie that I stayed with it from beginning to end. The kind of the way you do with a feature film, but which most people don't do in TV. You know, like I said, the script was pretty much 90% of the way there by the time I was given it, but I stayed all the way through post, like I stayed all the way through music, I was at the music recording sessions. In fact, it was the very early days of electronic and music, and there was a piece of music that we were trying to copy, and there was a part where I kind of imitate an old, southern preacher and I go, "You got to know yourself." So, in this downhill race, there's this throbbing beat with this guitar solo, and my voice is in there like as a kind of old southern preacher, and...

38:02 S?: Most skaters just flying down the course, neck-and-neck. This is the section in the course where the top speeds will be reached. Both totally in a tuck, whoever can be the most aerodynamic is going to start to pull away. 42,5 miles per hour. That is a new course record.

[music]

38:46 Greg Beeman: I really feel that Brink was very directed from beginning to end, because I was there from the minute I got the script to the time that we delivered it to air. I was involved in the color timing, I was involved in the music, I was involved in the sound effects mixing, and I really cared about that movie, and I put everything into it. In a weird way, as much as it was a Disney channel movie, I think we were doing some innovative stuff. And again, I got to credit the Disney channel people who didn't come at me with a lot of, "It has to be this. It has to fit into that box." They knew that it was kind of... They knew that the subject matter was kind of cutting edge at the moment. Like I said, rollerblading, and I think the X-Games had occurred twice, I think that there had been two X-Games, and it was a brand new thing. I don't know that I even consciously thought of it, but my approach, artistically, was to make it very raw, relatively raw, for a Disney channel movie. And they supported that. It didn't need to be presentationally too sedate.

39:38 Greg Beeman: And then the other thing that I think really happened... So besides the fact that I just got kind of a dream crew that worked in great harmony with each other, we also got the best skaters in the world. Because the X-Games was a brand new thing, and because at least rollerbladers at that moment in time had not got a lot of commercial promotions or sponsorships, we got literally the best skaters in the world as our stunt doubles, right? The people who were stunt doubling the cast were like world class X-Games skaters, and the stuff those guys could do was just crazy. I will say another funny thing that I always remember about the skaters. They were a different breed, right? Because the stuntmen have their own aesthetic, and I work with the stuntmen all the time, but when the stuntmen... If a stuntman wrecks or wipes out or gets hurt, God forbid, but it does happen, all the other stuntmen circle them, and the medic comes over, and everyone there is very quiet. And then when they get up, it's kind of like on a football game, and then everyone applauds... [chuckle]

40:38 Greg Beeman: Well, when the X-Blade guys, when they would wreck, like if someone went flying off the edge of a ramp and just crashed 15 feet to the ground, all the other guys would just look the other way, like it didn't happen, and the person would pick themselves up as best they could and run around the corner and hide. [chuckle] That was their aesthetic. If they got injured, they had to go off by themselves and suffer and work it out. The rest of their team just pretended like it never happened. And I just thought that was pretty funny.

41:07 Speaker 1: So, they cast The Bear, which if you didn't know, is Erik von Detten's nickname. Nice. Erik told Romper that he asked his mom what would happen if he got into acting. She said, "You wouldn't be able to go to school anymore." And then he said, "Sign me up." Good story. Von Detten became a Disney mainstay, appearing in Toy Story as Sid, Lawson on Recess, and Escape to Witch Mountain in 1995. But now, he was taking on his iconic turn as Andy 'Brink' Brinker, The Bear. Which is his nickname.

41:38 Greg Beeman: And Erik was someone who was kind of a star at the time, from the Disney Channel point of view, so I think he did audition but he kind of, the job was his to screw up, basically. Everyone at Disney Channel was excited for him. But I would say that the rest of the cast was pretty much brand new people. And after Erik, though, it was all a bunch of new people, right, who didn't have a lot of credits, and so it was just the vibe of people who came in and auditioned and felt right for the part, right.

42:07 Jeff Schechter: It's funny, I had some reservations 'cause the production company showed me the casting. Yeah, when I saw Erik von Detten, I was... I'd always imagined the kids in Brink seemed younger. I thought they were like, 13-14, and this was more like 15-16. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but yeah, but if you look at Eric von Detten and Sam Horrigan, they look like they are older teens, and I was thinking that, "Oh, God, we're going to get into the Jay North syndrome here," which is, Jay North played Dennis the Menace on television. And he had all his, "Gosh, Mr. Wilson," like his annoying kid stuff. And so, but Dennis the Menace ran too long. So when Jay North was 10 and doing that and saying those lines, it was cute. When he's 15 and saying those lines, you're going, "Ooh, this kid needs help." [laughter] It's not cute anymore, it's disturbing. So I was concerned that because I wrote it feeling very young and enthusiastic, that casting these older kids would be like, "Uh, this is just creepy." But it did not come to pass. The cast delivered the lines, and they turned what would have been awkward in the chore stuff into just useful exuberance.

43:29 S?: Hey, Gabriella. Ever get arrested for impersonating a boy?

43:34 S?: No. You?

[laughter]

43:36 S?: Yo, guys. What up?

43:39 S?: Uh... Lateness?

43:39 S?: Dude, choreness! My mom made me clean my room before I could leave.

43:43 S?: Fine, but we missed the bus. Now we're going to be late and have to wait to use the pit.

43:46 S?: I don't think so! Haha!

43:51 S?: Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're not thinking about skating to the beach, are you?

43:55 S?: Why not, Jordy?

43:56 S?: Well, guys, it's like a million miles away!

44:00 S?: Ah, Jordy, Jordy, Jordy! When you woke up this morning, did you say to yourself, "Today I'm going to talk or today I'm going to skate?"

44:07 S?: Yo, what's up, fam?

44:09 S?: It's just not normal, that's all.

44:11 S?: Ralph, please.

44:13 S?: No one should be that happy all the time.

44:15 S?: What's the matter with being happy? He's a great kid!

44:18 S?: It's just not normal.

44:19 S?: Yo, let the games begin!

44:21 S?: Then why don't you wear something that doesn't look like somebody just let the air out of it?

44:25 S?: Dad, kids at school are down with this style.

44:27 S?: What's for lunch today, dad?

44:28 S?: What's your least favorite?

44:30 S?: Bologna on white with extra mayo.

44:32 S?: That's what I made for you!

44:33 S?: Oh, yeah. Peace out!

44:37 S?: No, that's not it.

44:38 S?: You know what your problem is? You're just no fun to skate with. You got beef with me, you take it up with me Sunday at the championship.

44:48 S?: Oh, we'll get it on for sure.

44:53 S?: Did you really throw that vanilla shake in Val's face?

44:57 S?: Chocolate.

45:01 S?: How did it feel?

45:02 S?: It was cool. And it was so [45:04] ____. [chuckle]

45:09 Greg Beeman: I guess I like that one where he goes, "What are you doing in the bathroom?" "Noneya!" "Noneya? What is noneya?" "Noneya business!" I thought that was so stupid. I don't know. I know. Noneya business. I know, it's so lame. It starts like a dad joke.

45:25 S?: We got more stuff now than when you left. What's in the bag?

45:31 S?: Noneya.

45:33 S?: Noneya?

45:35 S?: Noneya business.

[chuckle]

45:41 Greg Beeman: You know, ironically, Schechter and I didn't spend a ton of time together. We had a couple of meetings. And he was on set a few days. But as I said, the script was mostly finished. I think, I maybe gave one or two rounds of notes. And actually, I do have... It's kind of like, I'll be teasing him, but I think it's okay. [laughter] He wrote this one thing, that to me, is like still this famous story in my personal history, where there was a scene that was about... I think it took up about one-third of a page. And the one-third of a page effectively said this, "They show up at the competition. It is the biggest thing they've ever seen in their lives. They're overwhelmed, but they skate their hearts out against the fiercest competition they've ever met and win the day."

46:26 Greg Beeman: And then I remember, just like Schechter going like, "Dude, that's a minimum of one day of filming. You can't write a third of a page that's going to take me a day to film. Whatever you do, I don't care, you don't have to add any extra words. You just have to space this out, so it takes up at least a page, or a page and a half." [laughter] You can't just go, "They faced the stiffest competition of their life and win the day." [chuckle] That was the competition in the middle when Brink is skating for the X-Bladders and his friends turn on him. I was fine that that's all he wrote, but the film business is gauged on how many pages you shoot per day. [laughter] So if you only write a third of a page, and it takes me two days to shoot it, I need you to write more pages. Take the same amount of words and put more spaces. [laughter] It's funny.

47:15 Greg Beeman: All my memories of that show are good. I remember it being very hard. It was just hard to get all the shots we needed. There was a lot of pretty cool shots in that movie too, just in terms of set-ups and camera work. We were on a motorcycle. We just had a low mount on the front of the motorcycle. And the thing that I did, which I actually kind of ran and personally placed, I placed all these orange cones in the foreground. And then there were two skaters, Chris Sayer and Laura Lee Connery were going down this hill in Long Beach. And I think they were going about 40 miles an hour. They just tucked, and they went so fricking fast. And then at the bottom of the hill, there was this gigantic pit, like a balloon pit that we laid out.

47:51 Greg Beeman: So they just went 40 miles an hour down the hill, and then their only option was just to bail out into this giant balloon. And the camera was just going so fast. And they were going so fast. And then the orange cones are just blurring through the foreground. It's one of my favorite shots I've ever done. And then the other shot that I remember just loving, it's when Brink and Val stare off at each other before the race. They just had a couple lines of dialogue, and the camera's circling them on a super low Steadicam. The camera was super low, and I just circled them, and circled them, and circled them. And then, I did it again going in the other direction. It was always my intention to kind of jump cut that. But the way the camera is circling them and the jump cuts that happened... And after, Brink was like a, from their point of view, a big mega hit.

48:33 Greg Beeman: Because I know that 10 years later, I got a residual check, that was a check for about $5.45. But it was for the 600th re-run of Brink. And I was like, "Holy sheesh, Brink re-ran 600 times!" That movie used to play in the '90s over, and over, and over, and over, again. It was literally on, I think every day for a long time on the Disney Channel. Once Brink happened, the people at the Disney Channel just gave me a lot of... A lot of freedom. They would offer me all the scripts that they felt were their best scripts. And they would kind of like... I did have an enormous amount of freedom to make them the way I wanted to make them. And it was really fun. And I really got along with that group of people. I think it was just a really good relationship.

49:12 Greg Beeman: There was a women named Carol Rubin. There was a guy named Gary Marsh, who I think is still there. And then there was a guy named Michael Healy. Those were the three top executives. And I just really liked them, they liked me. After Brink they just gave me a lot... It's true that they didn't give everyone that kind of freedom, but they did give it to me. So that was great, it was a really great relationship. I used to do six or eight TV episodes every year, and then I'd do a Disney Channel movie every summer. That went on for six or seven years. I eventually made that movie called, "Miracle in Lane 2" for them, where I won the Directors Guild Award. That was another very successful movie. It was a really great time in my life where... Also at that time in my life, I had little kids. So my little kids were watching my movies and going to the sets of my movies. I felt really happy at that time in my life that I was making film that my kids could watch, and that I could be proud of.

50:05 Jeff Schechter: A couple of years later, they wanted to do "Brink 2" and that, there was some thought that that might go as a feature. But it neither went as a feature nor as a TV movie. The project just kind of went away. Because it was going to be a feature, they wanted to pitch it before writing the script. So we had worked out a whole pitch for what the story would be. And we went in and we pitched it to the executives at Disney Features. And then it kind of just dragged on as I recall, for a while. And then eventually, it just faded away as a project. I think, because what I heard, and I don't know if this is true, that they were developing at that time, something in the aggressive sports world, so I think they felt that they didn't want to have too many projects in that same familiar...

51:07 Jeff Schechter: No, I really don't remember. It's just probably, 18 years ago, 18 years and several hundreds of hours of film and TV writing behind it. I remember an idea got floated early on that Peter, Brink's friend, was hurt in a skating accident, and so something was like, they were skating to raise money to get him the operation that he needed. But I don't remember if that actually ended up in our finished... Here's what our story is.

51:43 Speaker 1: So guys, the Disney channel had a run of original movies that became cultural touchstones, like Johnny Tsunami, yes. Alley Cats Strike, [chuckle] nice. And Halloweentown, whoa, scary. And then the eclectic schedule seemed to fade away. Bummer.

51:58 Greg Beeman: I think it was just kind of happening. There was this woman that, as I said, named Carol Rubin, she was very passionate, and Michael Healy and Gary Marsh, they just were very passionate, and they started taking risks. I think they also felt the sort of sense of freedom to just take risks and not feel like they had to fit into a certain formula. You know then later came the monolith called High School Musical, and that broke the mold. After High School Musical, I was kind of not doing Disney Channel Movies anymore, but then I think I kind of look back in my own observation, is then suddenly there was a feeling of obligation to always repeat High School Musical. Before that, during the '90s when I was there, there was just a sense of like, "Do we have a great story?" Although it always had to be positive. They always had to be kind of colorful. There was certain obligations, but for the most part, I think they felt a certain freedom to just find a great story as long as it revolved around positive family values.

52:57 Greg Beeman: So I did a lot of different kinds of movies, like the Miracle in Lane 2 was like another... It was just a great script. Again, it was a script that was given to me kind of whole-cloth, it was finished. And when I read that, I was like, "This is one of the best scripts I've ever read." And it was written on spec by two Mennonites in Indiana about a kid with spina bifida who won the national soap box derby race. It was crazy. Who thought that would be a great script? But I loved that script. Yeah, and don't get me wrong, High School Musical is a great movie. I love it. All I'm saying is, I think, subsequent to High School Musical was the first time I think that suddenly there was a need to catch that lightning in a bottle again and again and again, whereas in the '90s, I don't think that was the driving force. The driving force was, "Is this a great story? Is this a unique story?" And so I just happened to be... I happened to be doing those movies at a time that suited me for sure.

[music]

54:23 Greg Beeman: You know what's been a really nice experience for me is that what's happening to me now is that young people who are coming into the film business, people who were like 22, 24, 26 year-old, 28-year-old PAs or assistants or actors, like, they loved that movie. It's funny. That movie was very, very important to... If you were 6-12, maybe to 14 years old, in 1997, you watched that movie a whole ton of times. And I was just working on a show called The Rookie, and there's an actor... I got to look up his name, Titus Makin. When he found out I directed that movie, he literally went like... He started shaking. He goes, "I saw that movie everyday of my life. It's the reason I skateboard. It's the reason I have a skateboard in my backpack right now." So that's kind of my new experiences that the people who are young people in the film business now, that it was a very important movie to them. And that makes me feel really good. Brink was, and continues to be one of the happiest experiences I've ever have. It was a really, that was just something where everything came together. Brink brought nothing but good into the world.

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crystalgordontx · 6 years

Text

Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review)

The health and nutrition landscape is littered with products that promise to burn away that spare tire and reveal your inner six pack. Predictably though, what most of them do is burn a hole in your bank account and leave your six pack buried away like a mummy beneath the sands.

If you search hard enough, however, every once in a while you come across a product that actually lives up to its fat burning promise and we’re here to see if Rockstar Abs fat burner is one of those products.

What is Rockstar Abs?

Rockstar is a sports nutrition company that has nothing to do with rock and roll or music in general. Their Rockstar Abs Fat Burner is said to be the real thing when it comes to melting away unwanted adipose tissue so we’re here to take a closer look.

Rockstar Abs Fat Burner is similar to other contemporary fat burners in that it aspires to leverage thermogenics to kickstart the burning of fat. “Thermogenics” as you may be aware is the process of stimulating the metabolic system in order to prompt your body to burn fat on its own.

That’s a nifty trick that is responsible for those naturally thin people we all envy. Their metabolisms operate at such an elevated rate that whatever they eat or drink is consumed in short order by the metabolic fire and never winds up on their gut or butt.

Rockstar Abs seeks to generate this same type of metabolic fire in you by providing a wealth of ingredients known and/or believed to stimulate the metabolism. Let’s take a look at those ingredients now.

How does Rockstar Abs work?

The Rockstar Abs ingredient list is long and by turns familiar and curious. There is nothing here that’s “bad” though any time you see the words “proprietary blend” you need to dig.

Proprietary blend is a term that allows manufacturers to keep the exact amounts of various ingredients secret. And while we understand the need to protect your hard work the practice isn’t one that necessarily inspires confidence. That said, let’s have a look at what makes Rockstar Abs tick.

Ketones are produced by the body naturally when it can’t find carbohydrates to burn for fuel. You may have heard of the “keto diet” (1) which is where you essentially starve the body of carbs forcing it to burn fat for energy instead; a process known as “ketosis”. It has been shown that certain products can, for short periods of time, mimic the effects of ketosis and raspberry ketones are one of those. So Rockstar Abs is on the right track out of the gate.

Green Coffee Bean is believed to be one of the more effective natural fat burning substances. Coffee beans are naturally green when harvested and only turn brown or black after being roasted. Roasting also removes most of the chlorogenic acid in the coffee bean and it’s this compound that is believed to reduce the absorption of carbohydrates, thereby producing an effect similar to that achieved by means of the keto diet. And in fact there is some clinical evidence to back up these beliefs (2). Although the fact that most clinical data is gleaned from animal testing means that it cannot be relied upon to necessarily reflect what happens in humans.

Hoodia is the next ingredient on the Rockstar Abs list. Hoodia comes to the West via South Africa where it has achieved something akin to legendary status as a weight loss supplement. The story goes that the bush people of the Kalahari Desert have chewed on the hoodiagordonii plant for centuries and it’s this habit that is responsible for their being such trim, healthy individuals. Lately it has found favor in the West and is included here to augment the fat burning properties of raspberry ketones and green coffee beans.

White kidney bean extract is one of the lesser known ingredients on the Rockstar Abs list. A study published in 2011 (3) suggested that taking white kidney bean extract 15 minutes before eating resulted in study participants losing weight as compared to other participants who were given a placebo. Other smaller studies seem to confirm this. As such it’s good to see it here because is demonstrates once again that the Rockstar chemists have been doing their research.

On the the Proprietary Blend

We need to take a quick look at the ingredients in the proprietary blend even though we don’t know exactly what amounts are being used.

It is no surprise to see caffeine on the ingredient list here because virtually every weight loss supplement on the planet includes it. Why? Because it’s pretty effective at getting people up and getting them active which is the best way known to man to burn calories.

Garcinia cambogia, also known as Malabar tamarind, is touted for its ability to help promote weight loss. It might also help control blood sugar and cholesterol levels as well. The active ingredient in Garcinia is hydroxycitric acid which studies seem to show (4) can promote fat burning and suppress the appetite.

African Mango may be the ingredient in Rockstar with the thinnest claim to weight loss legitimacy. In spite of some glowing press there is in fact virtually no evidence it does anything substantive to help you burn calories, increase your metabolism or otherwise lose weight.

The proprietary blend on the Rockstar Abs label also includes conjugated linoleic acid (thought to stimulate weight loss receptors in the brain), apple cider vinegar (thought to curb appetite), cayenne pepper (a known thermogenic) (5), rhodiola rosea (for staving off fatigue) and L-arginine (an amino acid that promotes blood flow).

All told the roll call of ingredients in Rockstar Abs is a pretty solid one. Several proven thermogenics along with others that have shown various levels of promise and a couple of add-ons that help with mitigating fatigue and improving circulation.

What are the benefits of Rockstar Abs?

The benefits of using Rockstar Abs fat burner include more effective workouts, better circulation, improved stamina and of course a slimmer abdomen. Now whether your newly slimmed down abs take on the classic six pack profile or not will be up to you. It can help you melt away the fat but you’ll need to do the chiseling work in the gym.

By and large Rockstar Abs seems to be much more than just some flashy graphics and a marketable name. From the raspberry ketones and green coffee beans right down to the white kidney bean and garcinia cambogia a lot of thought has obviously gone into the formulation of this fat burner.

What are the side effects of Rockstar Abs?

Although none of the above mentioned ingredients is known to have serious side effects that doesn’t mean there are none and below we’ll take a look at them.

There is precious little reliable information regarding possible raspberry ketone side effects. That said doctors and other health professionals warn that raspberry ketones might – repeat might – cause a person to become a bit jittery and in rare cases they may experience rapid heartbeat.

Diabetics will want to take note of their potential to lower blood sugar levels. Pregnant women may also want to avoid them due to the lack of reliable data.

Side effects from green coffee beans are the result of their active ingredients: caffeine and particularly, chlorogenic acid. Everyone is familiar with the effects of caffeine so we’ll focus briefly on chlorogenic acid.

It’s known side effects are similar to those of raspberry ketones: possible elevated heart rate, a bit of anxiety and maybe a dose of the jitters. Taken in high volumes chlorogenic acid may also raise homocysteine levels (6) in the blood.

Hoodia is not known to cause any particular side effects of consequence. Although some have complained of upset stomach and others of mild diarrhea.

The side effects of white kidney bean extract are those things you are taking it for: the fact that it can inhibit the absorption of carbs which should cause you to lose weight. Having carbs fermenting in your gut instead of being absorbed, however, may leave you with a sense of bloating or indigestion (7).

How do you take Rockstar Abs?

There are no mysteries when it comes to taking Rockstar Abs Fat Burner. They recommend you take 1 tablet per day and try not to eat things that could undermine the ability of the supplement to help you burn fat by way of thermogenesis.

What are the reviews saying?

Curiously there is a paucity of reviews available for Rockstar Abs Fat Burner. Most of the Rockstar review attention tends to gravitate toward other products in their line. While few reviews are better than bad reviews it’s still a curious situation.

Those few user reviews we could find however were generally positive. None mentioned any particularly nasty side effects or other problems and customers seem to be pleased with their experience.

FAQs

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Safe?

Based on what we know about the ingredients and the research we conducted regarding potential side effects we feel confident in saying that, in our opinion, Rockstar Abs Fat Burner seems to be a safe product.

Caution is always advised, however, when taking anything that may alter your physical processes in any significant way. And since Rockstar Abs seems to deliver on its promise to initiate thermogenesis that caution would apply here.

The lack of clinical data also indicates that pregnant women should exercise an abundance of caution and avoid this product until there is more hard data to support the notion that it is absolutely safe.

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Effective?

Rockstar Abs Fat Burner gives every indication that it should be effective in helping you burn excess fat without having to endure odious side effects. As with most such supplements however, effectiveness can easily be undone by eating foods that counteract or undermine the fat burning properties of the supplement.

For instance, if one starts eating loads of junk food while taking Rockstar Abs thinking that it’s okay because the supplement will burn all the fat away they’re likely in for an unpleasant surprise. So if you are going to use this product make sure it’s part of a comprehensive weight loss and fitness program.

Does it Contain GMOs?

The US FDA does not require that products list whether or not they contain genetically modified organisms (GMOs). In addition there is currently no legal definition for the term “all natural”. The FDA simply asks companies to voluntarily adhere to its suggested guidelines (8).

That said, in most cases these days if a product does not have a disclaimer on the label stating it is GMO free, there is a pretty good chance it includes them. Rockstar Abs Fat Burner claims to be all natural and does not say GMO free on its label. So you be the judge.

Is it Made by a Reputable Company?

Rockstar Nutrition is a nationally recognized producer of performance related supplements that is generally well regarded by customers and the fitness press alike.

Their brand enjoys widespread market penetration and has managed to stay free of controversy and negative press. So it’s fair to say that as of this writing they are regarded as a reputable company.

Recap

From what we can tell Rockstar Abs Fat Burner is pretty much what it says it is: an effective way to help you lose excess belly fat. The only qualifier is that you will need to use it in conjunction with an overall fitness plan.

But does it compete with LeanBean or other trendy top rated fat burners? That’s debatable…

The ingredients are known to be basically safe and effective and the company has a solid reputation for producing quality products. While we’re not crazy about the “proprietary blend” label there is nothing in that blend that raises red flags so we’ll give them a pass on trying to protect their trade secrets.

The bottom line is, while we would feel comfortable using this product as directed, it’s not your best option if you want fast, effective results. We recommend this one instead.

The post Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review) appeared first on HealthRanks.org.

from HealthRanks.org http://healthranks.org/rockstar-abs-review/

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georgepaul32 · 6 years

Text

Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review)

What is Rockstar Abs?

How does Rockstar Abs work?

The Rockstar Abs ingredient list is long and by turns familiar and curious. There is nothing here that’s “bad” though any time you see the words “proprietary blend” you need to dig.

On the the Proprietary Blend

We need to take a quick look at the ingredients in the proprietary blend even though we don’t know exactly what amounts are being used.

What are the benefits of Rockstar Abs?

What are the side effects of Rockstar Abs?

Although none of the above mentioned ingredients is known to have serious side effects that doesn’t mean there are none and below we’ll take a look at them.

Diabetics will want to take note of their potential to lower blood sugar levels. Pregnant women may also want to avoid them due to the lack of reliable data.

Hoodia is not known to cause any particular side effects of consequence. Although some have complained of upset stomach and others of mild diarrhea.

How do you take Rockstar Abs?

What are the reviews saying?

Those few user reviews we could find however were generally positive. None mentioned any particularly nasty side effects or other problems and customers seem to be pleased with their experience.

FAQs

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Safe?

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Effective?

Does it Contain GMOs?

Is it Made by a Reputable Company?

Rockstar Nutrition is a nationally recognized producer of performance related supplements that is generally well regarded by customers and the fitness press alike.

Recap

But does it compete with LeanBean or other trendy top rated fat burners? That’s debatable…

The bottom line is, while we would feel comfortable using this product as directed, it’s not your best option if you want fast, effective results. We recommend this one instead.

The post Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review) appeared first on HealthRanks.org.

from HealthRanks.org http://healthranks.org/rockstar-abs-review/

0 notes

bobdelseynv · 6 years

Text

Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review)

What is Rockstar Abs?

How does Rockstar Abs work?

The Rockstar Abs ingredient list is long and by turns familiar and curious. There is nothing here that’s “bad” though any time you see the words “proprietary blend” you need to dig.

On the the Proprietary Blend

We need to take a quick look at the ingredients in the proprietary blend even though we don’t know exactly what amounts are being used.

What are the benefits of Rockstar Abs?

What are the side effects of Rockstar Abs?

Although none of the above mentioned ingredients is known to have serious side effects that doesn’t mean there are none and below we’ll take a look at them.

Diabetics will want to take note of their potential to lower blood sugar levels. Pregnant women may also want to avoid them due to the lack of reliable data.

Hoodia is not known to cause any particular side effects of consequence. Although some have complained of upset stomach and others of mild diarrhea.

How do you take Rockstar Abs?

What are the reviews saying?

Those few user reviews we could find however were generally positive. None mentioned any particularly nasty side effects or other problems and customers seem to be pleased with their experience.

FAQs

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Safe?

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Effective?

Does it Contain GMOs?

Is it Made by a Reputable Company?

Rockstar Nutrition is a nationally recognized producer of performance related supplements that is generally well regarded by customers and the fitness press alike.

Recap

But does it compete with LeanBean or other trendy top rated fat burners? That’s debatable…

The bottom line is, while we would feel comfortable using this product as directed, it’s not your best option if you want fast, effective results. We recommend this one instead.

The post Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review) appeared first on HealthRanks.org.

from HealthRanks.org http://healthranks.org/rockstar-abs-review/

0 notes

healthranks · 6 years

Text

Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review)

What is Rockstar Abs?

How does Rockstar Abs work?

The Rockstar Abs ingredient list is long and by turns familiar and curious. There is nothing here that’s “bad” though any time you see the words “proprietary blend” you need to dig.

On the the Proprietary Blend

We need to take a quick look at the ingredients in the proprietary blend even though we don’t know exactly what amounts are being used.

What are the benefits of Rockstar Abs?

What are the side effects of Rockstar Abs?

Although none of the above mentioned ingredients is known to have serious side effects that doesn’t mean there are none and below we’ll take a look at them.

Diabetics will want to take note of their potential to lower blood sugar levels. Pregnant women may also want to avoid them due to the lack of reliable data.

Hoodia is not known to cause any particular side effects of consequence. Although some have complained of upset stomach and others of mild diarrhea.

How do you take Rockstar Abs?

What are the reviews saying?

Those few user reviews we could find however were generally positive. None mentioned any particularly nasty side effects or other problems and customers seem to be pleased with their experience.

FAQs

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Safe?

Is Rockstar Abs Fat Burner Effective?

Does it Contain GMOs?

Is it Made by a Reputable Company?

Rockstar Nutrition is a nationally recognized producer of performance related supplements that is generally well regarded by customers and the fitness press alike.

Recap

But does it compete with LeanBean or other trendy top rated fat burners? That’s debatable…

The bottom line is, while we would feel comfortable using this product as directed, it’s not your best option if you want fast, effective results. We recommend this one instead.

The post Rockstar Abs fat burner – scam or legit? (full review) appeared first on HealthRanks.org.

from HealthRanks.org http://healthranks.org/rockstar-abs-review/

0 notes