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#last night me and my friends watched dirty dancing and the mummy 1 and 2 all back to back
theteapotofdoom · 1 year
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I think that if you watch The Mummy 2 on its own, it’s a fine little flick with flaws but a lot of charms. But if you The Mummy 2 right after watching the first one, it becomes the absolute worst movie you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
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Unus Annus: A Complete Ranked List
well, now that every single video has been released, i’ve compiled them all into a complete ranked list, from best video to worst! this took way longer than it had any right to.  (also, please note this is just my opinion, and in all honesty, this list was really hard because so many of these videos are fantastic. you could tell me that you’d rearrange anything in the 50-250 range and i’d probably agree with you.) 
And if you don’t feel like going through the whole list, here’s Unus Annus ranked by month!
If the video is in: Top 50: 5 points 51 - 100: 4 points 101 - 150: 3 points 151 - 200: 2 points 201 - 250: 1 point 251 - 300: 0 points 300 or below: -1 point (Any ties settled by which month had the highest ranking video overall.)
November: 93 October: 72 December:70 September: 66 February: 66 August: 63 June: 60 January: 59 July: 53 May: 43 March: 37 April: 1
The Truth of Unus Annus (Oct. 31st)
Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN (Jan. 10th)
Phasmophobia in Real Life (Oct. 25th)
Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room (Dec. 6th)
Hunting HeeHoo (Aug. 29th)
DIY Geriatric Simulator (Jan. 18th)
Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video (Nov. 4th)
Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked On Phonics (Jun 6th)
Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral (Dec. 9th)
Cooking with Sex Toys (Nov. 15th)
Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom (Dec. 13th)
Helium Therapy (Nov. 29th)
2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition (Nov. 26th)
Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls (Nov. 22nd)
Being Brutally Honest With Each Other (Nov. 3rd)
Would Chica Save Us From Drowning? (Jul. 24th)
Mark and Ethan are Now Fathers (Mar. 22)
Ethan Kidnapped Mark (Oct. 30th)
Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room (Aug. 28th)
The Unus Annus Last Supper (Nov. 2nd)
Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping (Jan. 11th)
The Sensory Overload Tank (Jan. 7th)
Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost (Nov. 25th)
Mark Knows What Ethan Did… (Sep. 22nd)
Pee Sauna (Jun 17th)
We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other (Dec. 14th)
All of Our Video Ideas that Never Happened (Nov. 5th)
Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band (Sep. 4th)
Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers (Jan. 2nd)
Our Perfect (and last) Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th)
The Barrel - Official Music Video (Mar. 9th)
Edward Pumpkin Hands (Oct. 26th)
This Video Is Completely Unedited (Oct. 17th)
Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim (Jun. 28th)
The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover (Nov. 12th)
Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead (Nov. 10th)
Harnessing Our Dogs’ Unlimited Energy (Dec. 23rd)
2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test (Dec. 31st)
Learning to Breathe Underwater (Jan. 13th)
Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness (Aug. 17th)
The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest (Oct. 28th)
Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests (Nov. 9th)
We Got Pepper Sprayed (Mar. 10th)
The Cryptid Olympics (Oct. 24th)
Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight (Mar. 8th)
Mark Punishes Ethan (Jan. 27th)
Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible (Sep. 29th)
Drunk College Party Simulator (Feb. 15th)
God’s Fitness Test (Nov. 8th)
3 Big Boys Attempt the King’s Royal Fitness Test (Feb. 18th)
The Beginning of the End (Jul. 26th)
Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime (May 22nd)
Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There’s a Bear 15 Feet Away (Aug. 22nd)
We Forced James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course (Mar. 23rd)
We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator (Mar. 20th)
The Bad Kind of Cupping (Nov. 20th)
Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat (Dec. 7th)
Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video) (Dec. 29th)
A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night (Aug. 24th)
Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes (Jul 7th)
Building the World’s First IKEA Boat (Jun 27th)
Goat Yoga (Feb. 22nd)
10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn’t Know How To Spend Money Responsibly (Feb. 16th)
Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On (Feb 29th)
Fixing Mark’s Hole with Ramen But Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God (Jan. 14th)
Being Attacked By a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog (Feb. 19th)
Preserving Ourselves in Wax (Dec. 26th)
Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog) (Dec. 24th)
The Unus Annus Space Program (Jul 11th)
Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement (Dec. 17th)
Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of Two Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond (Jul. 4th)
DIY Bungee Jump (please don’t try this) (Jan. 4th)
Unregulated Axe Throwing (Feb. 7th)
Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger (Sep. 15th)
How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree (Aug. 23rd)
Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna Into a Portable Hell (Mar. 16th)
The End of Unus Annus Is Almost Here… (May 15th)
We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away (Sep. 13th)
We Play The Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other (May 23rd)
Building IKEA’s Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 18th)
Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength (Jul. 30th)
Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 8th)
The Candy Bra Challenge (Jul 6th)
We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay (Oct. 13th)
Only UNUS-es/ANNUS-es May Watch This Video (May 28th)
Only Watch From 2:25-6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO (May 29th)
We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR) (Oct. 22nd)
Recreating The Miracle of Childbirth (Mar. 21st)
Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank (Nov. 18th)
Turning Mark into an E-Boy (Feb. 2nd)
The First Annual Unus Annus Roast (Nov. 7th)
Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes (Jun 5th)
The Ultimate Trolley Problem (Feb. 21st)
We Looked at Unus Annus Memes (Apr. 30th)
Exploring the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes (May 16th)
BLACK LIVES MATTER: Resources and How You Can Help In The Description (Jun 2nd)
The Chubby Gummy Challenge (Dec. 4th)
Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest? (Mar. 5th)
Taped and Afraid (Dec. 20th)
We Played Strip Poker (May 20th)
Consuming the World’s Hottest Chip (Sep. 30th)
Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body (Jan. 26th)
1 Man 100 Accents (Dec. 1st)
Mark Steals Ethan’s Face (Jan. 15th)
Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death (Feb. 17th)
We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition (Aug. 3rd)
Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming (Oct. 11th)
The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown (Jun 20th)
We Pierced Each Other’s Ears (Sep. 11th)
Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs (Jun 3rd)
7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell (Nov. 11th)
Two Men in a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies (Jun 26th)
Having an Adventure in VRChat Because We Can’t Go Outside (Mar. 27th)
Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our YouTube Famous Dogs (Jul. 16th)
Mark and Ethan Shave Chica (Aug. 8th)
The Wubble (Aug. 7th)
How to Start a Fire (except don’t…) (Aug. 27th)
Unus Annus (Nov. 15th)
This Is Goodbye (Aug. 5th)
Puberty Simulator (Aug. 13th)
This Video Went Completely Out of Control (Oct. 1st)
This Video Will Never Make Sense (Sep. 23rd)
Blowing Our Souls into Some Hot Glass (Feb. 28th)
We Attempted to Create THICC Water (May 10th)
Brick Soccer (Sep. 19th)
Accepting the Truth (Nov. 1st)
Drinking Real THICC Water...How Bad Does It Taste? (May 19th)
How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock? (Sep. 10th)
Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin (Jan. 8th)
Recreating Childhood Photos (Jun 13th)
Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game (Feb. 10th)
Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet (Aug. 1st)
How to Safely Bury Your Friend (Aug. 25th)
Mark Breaks His Nose on an Aerial Hoop (Oct. 4th)
DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS (Jul. 20th)
Pee Soda (Sep. 17th)
We Had to Drink Each Other’s Pee (Dec. 16th)
Creating Mark FISHbach (Jun 21st)
Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise (May 11th)
We Made Fanart for Each Other (Jun 11th)
Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot for an Elegant Beast (Jun 25th)
Pressure Washing Our Sins Away (Oct. 21st)
Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack (Oct. 8th)
We Ate Dog Treats so You Don’t Have To (Sept. 12th)
Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button (Dec. 18th)
2 Idiots Get Crushed By 18-Ft Giant Snakes (Mar. 15th)
We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves (Jan. 20th)
DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080 (May 27th)
Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea (Oct. 23rd)
DIY Teeth (Jul. 17th)
We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water (Sep. 24th)
We Attempt to Make Holy Water (Sep. 20th)
DIY Cheese (Jan. 29th)
Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature (Feb. 9th)
Literally Eating Fire (Feb. 6th)
2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa (Jan. 17th)
Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More! (Aug. 26th)
The Great Ice Cream Cake Race (Sep. 27th)
The Unus Annus Confessional Booth (May 26th)
Blood Bath (Oct. 27th)
2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap (Jun. 30th)
Who Can Make Themselves Taller? (Jan. 6th)
Mark and Ethan Share a Drink (Aug. 6th)
2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test  (Sep. 6th)
Bobbing for Literally Anything But Apples (Oct. 16th)
Momiplier Teaches Self Defense (Aug. 15th)
The Human Mop (Jul. 21st)
We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help (Sep. 8th)
Becoming One With the Horse (Jun 19th)
Wikifeet: A Tale of Two Tootsies (Apr. 4th)
We Found Websites That the World Forgot About (Apr. 11th)
1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us (Aug. 20th)
We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine (Sep. 5th)
We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could (Jul. 25th)
We Turned Our Bodies Into Art (Jan. 25th)
You Blink, You Lose (Dec. 30th)
Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (Jul. 13th)
Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond (Dec. 3rd)
Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf (Oct. 29th)
Making Soda with Literally Anything But Soda (Sep. 16th)
Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk (Jul. 15th)
Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors (Sep. 7th)
How Many Slaps Does it Take to Cook a Chicken? (Sep. 2nd)
Play Doh Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th)
Hot Dog’d to Death (Nov. 17th)
Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow (Oct. 20th)
Transforming Mark into the Eighth Wonder of the World (Aug. 16th)
Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing (Jul 8th)
Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle (Sep. 28th)
Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics (Sep. 26th)
Who’s Cutting Onions in Here? (Nov. 6th)
How to Escape from a Hostage Situation (Jul. 18th)
Are We Already Dead? (Feb. 13th)
Bored? Press This Button (Apr. 27th)
Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas (Aug. 10th)
This is for FUN and NOT a Fetish (Oct. 10th)
This is What Being Tased Feels Like (Jan. 21st)
Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery (Feb. 20th)
Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Hands (May 31st)
Beating Inanimate Objects to Death (Dec. 27th)
Edible Slime was a Mistake. (Feb. 23rd)
We Eat Bugs (Jan. 3rd)
Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box (Sep. 21st)
Hydro Dipping a Baby (Aug. 11th)
The Egg Smashing Game (Jul. 12th)
BEYBLADE NUTBALL (Sep. 14th)
Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other But It’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha (Feb. 12th)
Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof. (Jul 1st)
Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don’t Watch) (Jun 22nd)
Mark Needs to Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him (Mar. 14th)
Learning to Use the Force (Sep. 18th)
The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake (Apr. 25th)
We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins (Apr. 6th)
Shooting Archery ON A HORSE (Oct. 6th)
Ethan Redefines Male Beauty (Feb. 3rd)
Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight (Jun 7th)
Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon (Aug. 2nd)
Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses (Jun 4th)
Becoming a Master of Mime (Feb. 11th)
This is the Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made (Jul. 23rd)
A Serious Conversation Under the Stars (Jul. 29th)
Is Mark a Masochist? (May 1st)
Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass (Feb. 8th)
Bad, Bad Beans (Jan. 23rd)
DIY Wine (May 30th)
2 Men 200 Accents (Apr. 18th)
DIY Boob (May 24th)
Mark and Ethan Go On a Drum Date (Feb. 27th)
10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw On Planet Earth (Jun. 29th)
Ultimate Horseshoes (Jul. 28th)
Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat) (Mar. 13th)
Acupuncture is NOT Painful (Dec. 11th)
What the Hell is a Pink Trombone? (May 2nd)
Donating Toys to Charity w/ Jacksepticeye (Dec. 22nd)
Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise…) (Nov. 27th)
The Great Meat Mistake (Dec. 10th)
DIY Minesweeper (Oct. 7th)
Popping Popcorn with a High Powered Laser (Aug. 12th)
Bobbing for Apples but the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer (Oct. 3rd)
We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to It (Dec. 5th)
Long Hair, Do We Dare? (Feb. 25th)
Recreating Mark’s Childhood (Jul. 2nd)
Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond) (Feb. 4th)
An Extremely Sour, Not-at-All Sour Meal (Feb. 5th)
Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot (Nov. 16th)
Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 9th)
The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest (Jul. 27th)
Our Fans Try to Scare Us With Their Homemade Creepypasta (Jun 12th)
There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture… (June 8th)
Too Many Pickles (Aug. 21st)
5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard (Jul. 31st)
What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube? (Apr. 10th)
Baby Hands Operation (Nov. 24th)
Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time (Apr. 2nd)
Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us? (May 6th)
Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race (Apr. 15th)
We Will Churn Thy Butter (Sep. 25th)
We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins (Jan. 12th)
Drawing on Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness (Oct. 9th)
Drawing Memes from Memory (Nov. 30th)
We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games (Apr. 5th)
Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown (Mar. 30th)
Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce? (Jul 10th)
How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend (Apr. 13th)
Help Us Break a YouTube World Record (Apr. 17th)
Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea (Oct. 18th)
DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Aug. 9th)
The Most Dangerous Shave (Jun 23rd)
We Took the Polar Plunge (Jan. 1st)
2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition (Jun 1st)
Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work? (Jul. 19th)
Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat (Oct. 5th)
Pumpkin Spice “Challenge” (Oct. 19th)
Doing Each Other’s Makeup in the Dark (Nov. 23rd)
We’re Better Than Dogs (Aug. 18th)
We Have the Best Bellies on YouTube (May 25th)
The Good Kind of Cupping  (Nov. 19th)
Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe (Jan. 30th)
Where in the World is Unus Annus? (Apr. 1st)
Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens (Jun 10th)
Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something (May 4th)
We Took an IQ Test (Jan. 9th)
Mark Teaches Ethan Korean (May 13th)
Lost Omegle Video (Mar. 31st)
Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet (Jun 15th)
Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse (Mar. 28th)
Desperately Trying Not to Touch Our Faces (Mar. 24th)
Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt (Mar. 26th)
Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories (Apr. 21st)
The Scariest True Stories on the Internet (Apr. 12th)
REAL Ghost Hunting At An Abandoned Zoo (March 2nd)
Bleachus Annus (Jul. 14th)
Pumpkin Taste Tier List (Oct. 14th)
Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank (Dec. 12th)
Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus? (Aug. 30th)
Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge (Apr. 9th)
We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded (Mar. 11th)
Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless (Apr. 3rd)
Learning to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds (Oct. 15th)
You Breathe You Die (Jan.16th)
Breaking Glasses With Our Screams (Aug. 4th)
The 1000 High-Five Challenge (Oct. 2nd)
Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs (Mar. 4th)
Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner’s Butler for a Day (Aug. 14th)
Forcibly Turning Mark into Santa Claus Against His Will (Dec. 25th)
We Smell Every Smell (Sep. 1st)
We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes (Feb. 26th)
Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast (Mar. 18th)
The Painful World of Aerial Skills (Oct. 12th)
The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couples Trend (Aug. 19th)
Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul in the Palm of His Hand (Jun 24th)
Will We Break the Boards...Or Will They Break Us? (Jun 14th)
DIY Chiropractor (Mar. 7th)
Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage (Aug. 31st)
We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us (Mar. 3rd)
Can Plants Feel Pain? (Sep. 9th)
This is Hiding on Your Body RIGHT NOW. (Jul 9th)
Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death (Jan. 28th)
Like It Or Not...This is What The New Human Looks Like (May 7th)
Looking at Long Lost Memes (Jan. 31st)
We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate (Apr. 7th)
Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate (Apr. 24th)
Mark and Ethan Desperately Try to Name a Single State in the USA (Apr. 8th)
Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020 (May 3rd)
Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition (Mar. 25th)
Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado (Apr. 14th)
Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis (Apr. 20th)
We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams (Jan. 24th)
2 Boys 2 Poops (Sep. 3rd)
This is How We’ll Die... (Jan. 19th)
Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition (Mar. 1st)
You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel...But Only One Could Win (Dec. 15th)
Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds? (Jul. 22nd)
Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death (Mar. 6th)
Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity from Benjamin Franklin (Jul 5th)
Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon (Dec. 19th)
Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test (Apr. 22nd)
An AI Generates Our Worst Nightmare (May 5th)
Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views (Jun 16th)
How Big Can a Nuke Get? (May 17th)
Granting Access Into Heaven’s Sweet Gates (Feb. 24th)
We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler (Jul. 3rd)
Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse? (Mar. 29th)
Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend (May 14th)
What is the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured? (Dec. 21st)
Don’t Go In The Ocean....Ever. (Apr. 28th)
An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die (Dec. 2nd)
Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It (May 21st)
The Creepiest Videos on YouTube (Apr. 16th)
What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship? (Mar. 12th)
Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life (Feb. 1st)
What Happens When a YouTube Channel Dies? (Jan. 22nd)
5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death (Mar. 19th)
Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain...Which is Worse? (Dec. 28th)
How Tall Can a Human Get?: An Impartial Review By 2 Average Height Men (May 12th)
Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It? (Apr. 23rd)
Mark and Ethan Hunt the World’s Most Wanted Criminals (Mar. 17th)
The Illuminati...Do They Really Exist? (Apr. 19th)
We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of Our Wildly Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mystery (Apr. 29th)
Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty (Apr. 26th)
We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise (Jan. 5th)
How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 18th)
There’s Still Hope… (Dec. 8th)
Unus Annus ASMR (May 9th)
The Worst Kind of Cupping (Nov. 21st)
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Are you the right one?
I had this idea in the middle of the night and wrote it down. I like it, it is so much fluff, you probably die, but I thats life. 
Steve Rogers x Reader 
Summary: The one question almost every girl wants to hear, but is he the right person to ask this question? 
Warnings: Fluff, alcohol, slightly angst (maybe), oh did I say fluff? 
Word count: 2776
“Surprise!“
The woman who walked out of the apartment door jumped in surprise, but her face changed from a sinister expression to a face full of joy and pleasure. 
“Omg, I almost died. You are all so cute.“, the woman said with a delightful chuckle. Her name was Mary and she was an good old friend of mine. Okay, maybe just an old friend. I know her since collage, we were roommates and we had a good relationship back in the days, but after we graduated we never really interacted with each other anymore. Sometime we would see each other in the streets of New York, just nodding our heads as a “Hello“. 
Once or twice a year it would happen, that the time was on our side, then we would go for a coffee together. Talking about old times and how our lives are now. The last time we saw each other was like two or three month ago. We walked past each other in a book store. 
I was on a run for a birthday present for Steve. On a cuddly winter day, when the both of us were cuddled up in our shared bed, we watched Harry Potter. The whole day. All movies. He enjoyed it. He liked the story of the small young boy, who slowly raised and becomes one of the most powerful wizards in the world. He liked it so much that he wanted to know more about it. In his beautiful blue eyes you could see the little boy coming out. When I told him that the movies are based on books, he jumped around like a little kid on Christmas. I have never seen a 100 year old man jumping around like this. “I wanna read them“, he yelled and jumped on the bed next to me. “I will get them for you, but you have to wait until your birthday.“, I said to him in my mummy voice and poked his nose slightly. Eventually he kissed me afterwards and eventually he went from schoolboy to daddy, but thats another story. 
However… I met her in this book shop, where I bought all the Harry Potter books for Steve his birthday. She told me about her new job and that she moved in a new apartment in Manhattan. Furthermore she told me that her long term boyfriend finally asked her to be his wife. 
“He finally asked me after all these years. I almost lost hope.“, she said with a dreamy face. The smile on her face showed real happiness and full of pride she showed me her engagement ring. It was a beautiful silver one with a small diamond. “A real diamond. He is so extra.“, she chuckled slightly and waved with her hand. “I'm so happy for you.“, I gave her a polite smile and I was about to say goodbye to her, but before I could even think about it she spoke again. “You should come to my wedding. Are you still together with this America Boy?“, she gave me a big smile and in her face you could see how curious she was about my answer. “Yeah, I’m still together with him.“,I tried to sound as polite as possible, but I underlined the word “still“ a little bit to harsh.
“That is good to hear. I will send you an invitation.“, she ignored the fact that I snapped at her. She gave me a small hug and waved goodbye. 
So now, 4 month later. I was here. At her bachelorette party. With people I barley know. At first I didn’t wanted to go. I don’t know anybody and I’m not really the person who is crazy about the whole wedding stuff, but Steve and the rest of the team forced me to go. In their opinion it would be good for me to go out with “normal“ people. A 20 minute fight and a 30 minute search for some clothes to wear, I stood in front of her apartment with 10 other girls. 
“We have so much planed for the evening.“, the woman next to me, her name was Sara I think, announced with a huge smile. “But at first-“, she pulled sparkling wine and some plastic glass out of her bag.
“Some alcohol.“, everybody around me started to cheer and giggle. I felt a little bit out of space. Everybody knows each other, everybody is so girly and almost everybody is married in this round. I’m actually the only one not married or engaged. Sara, I really hope her name was Sara, gave me a glass full of the sparkling liquid. After everybody received a glass, they started to cheer again. “Yay…“, I slightly raised my fist up in the air and cheered forcefully. “Oh god, I think I will need more than one glass of this.“, I said to myself in an unwatched moment and knocked back the drink. 
And my wishes came true. 2 hours later I had a good amount of alcohol rushing through my veins and I actually enjoyed myself a little bit. The music was loud and my whole body vibrated because of the bass. The club was somewhere in Brooklyn, I don’t remember actually. I was already drunk when we arrived. The music was good, the alcohol was delicious and it was the first time in a while that I didn’t worried about a mission. I just enjoyed the music and the good stuff. Perhaps the other were right and I needed this night out. 
In the late hours, shortly after midnight, I got a text from Steve. 
 Hey, my love. 
I hope you have a little fun <3 
I will go to bed now. 
Please, be safe and call me when you need something! 
I love you xx 
I smiled like a huge dork, when I read the message. “Why are you smiling like this?“, Sara placed a hand on my shoulder and handed me a drink. I clicked the lock screen button and stowed my phone back in my pocket. 
“My boyfriend texted me.“, I shrugged my shoulder and took the drink out of her hand. 
“How long have you two been together?“
“3 years.“, I leaned towards her and yelled in her ear. “How long have you been with your man?“, I added and sipped on my drink. 
“5 years. Since two years we are married.“, she yelled back and pointed at the door. 
“Do you wanna go outside for a sec? I need a cigarette.“, she added yelling and I nodded and followed her through the dancing crowd. 
“It is so hot in there.“, she inhaled deeply and pulled out her cigarettes. The cold air hit my face and I could feel how the alcohol kicked in even harder. I took a deep breath and inhaled the smoke of the cigarette. I coughed slightly. “I'm not a smoker.“, I said with a raspy voice. 
“Sorry, I will breath the smoke in the other direction.“, she took the cigarette in the other hand and gave me an apologising smile. I shook my head and motioned that it is okay.
“So, you and the “Captain““, she actually made the quotation marks, when she said Captain. The smoke of the cigarette in her face and the dirty smirk she gave me made me feel a little uncomfortable. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. I took a huge sip from my drink. Hoping that the weird feeling would disappear with more alcohol. 
“Yes, we are together for a while now.“, my drunken head smiled by the thought of Steve and the fact that he was mine. The huge dorky smile appeared on my face again and I could hear Sara laughing. “Someone is happy, huh?“ 
I snapped out of my dream about Steve and glanced at her. The smirk never left her face and the weird feeling from before kicked back in. 
“Do you wanna marry him?“, she pulled on her cigarette and grabbed her drink out of my hand. 
“Ehm …“, I was shocked and overwhelmed. I actually had no clue what I should answer. I never really spend much time with thinking about this. I probably would say yes, when he would ask me. “Probably.“, I sipped on my drink again. 
“Probably? Have you both never talked about this?“, her eyes widened by my answer and she looked rather shocked than satisfied. “How can you be sure that he really loves you, when he never made a sign that he wants to marry you?“, she stubbed out the cigarette and gave her full attention to me. 
“What do you mean? I know that he loves me!“, my head started to spin and I felt the alcohol punching me in the face. 
“Are you sure? He is a good looking man and I know a lot of women who would do anything to be with him. He is still just a man.“, she raised her eyebrows at me. Her face turned in a worried expression. 
“Yes, I’m sure, 100%.“, this answer came out less confident than I thought. I wanted to convince her that I’m 100% sure that he loves me and that he is the one. Unfortunately I sounded like a desperate woman who tries to convince herself that her man still loves her. Is it the alcohol or why am I so worried at the moment, that maybe she was right. No (Y/n)! Stop being so worried. You know it is not true. 
“Sweetie, I will tell you something. I can't tell you if he really loves you or not. But he is a man and men change their minds every day. Don’t be to certain. End it before it ends you.“, she sipped out her drink and placed her hand on my shoulder. “I´ll go back inside. Do you come with me?“, I shook my head and poured down the rest of the drink. She took the glass out of my hand and gave me a small hug, before she walked back inside. 
It was something after 1 in the morning and I walked through the streets of New York. I had so much alcohol in my body, that I lost track of my position. I was somewhere nowhere. The street I was walking at was almost empty, only a few people would walk past me. 
My head started to spin again and I needed to sit down. On a stair in front of an apartment house I found a place to rest. I leaned my head against the cold stone and closed my eyes, just for a second. Immediately I fell a sleep. I started to dream, I dreamed about me and Steve. That he would ask me to marry him, that he would fell on his knees in front of me. But the dreamed turned out to be a nightmare. Before I could answer him, before I could say yes. He raised his body again, “I think you are not the right person for me. Maybe we should go separate ways. I really like you, but I don’t love you.“
The ringing of my phone luckily brought me back and I snapped up. I pulled out my phone and looked at the screen. One of my favourite photos of Steve popped up. It was on a beautiful summer day and Tony decided that the team needed some relaxation. Nobody complained and we packed our bags and went on the beach. The picture showed Steve putting on sunscreen. His face was completely covered in white cream and he looked directly in the camera with an disbelieving face. Until today he doesn’t understand why I loved this picture so much, because he thinks it is one of the ugliest pictures he ever saw of him. And maybe because of that I love this picture so much. It is a moment where he isn’t the handsome, tall man with the star spangled outfit everybody knows. He is the man I know, the tall, handsome, dorky man with a very sensitive skin. For the world he is Captain America, for me he is Steve. I found my own hero in him. The phone stopped ringing and I snapped back out of my thought. I looked at the phone, the screen showed one missed call from Steve. Before I could call him back, he called again and the picture of him popped up again. This time I answered the phone directly. 
“Hello, Steve.“, I said with a raspy, drunken voice. 
“Doll, are you alright? You didn’t answered and I got a little worried about you.“, his voice was sleepy, he probably woke up and glanced on his phone. Normally I would text him back immediately, so that he knows that everything is alright and he doesn’t need to worry. 
“I'm okay. Maybe I drunk a little bit too much.“, I leaned my head against the wall again. I could hear myself stumble over my own words. 
“Where are you? I´ll pick you up.“, his sweet voice melted in my ears and I smiled. Suddenly the conversation with Sara snapped back into my head. 
“Steve?“, the desperate and worried tone from before found its way back into my words. In the moment I called out his name, a tear managed to find its way down my cheek. 
“Whats wrong?“, his tone changed completely. From sleepy and sweet to serious and worried. 
It took me a moment to find the right words, to articulate my worries. 
“Am I the right person?“
“What do you mean, babe?“, he talked a little bit faster than before, he seems a little nervous and his worries increased by that question. 
“Am I the right person for you? Do you love me?“, a silent sob escaped my lips. 
“Where are you?“, I could hear movement on the other side of the phone. He was probably walking down to the garage, where his motorcycle was. 
“Steve… please.“, I closed my eyes and some more tears rolled down my cheeks.
“(Y/n), you are my everything. Of course you are the right person for me! I couldn’t imagine someone else being by my side. You make me laugh, you make me wake up everyday with a smile on my face.“, a small smile appeared on my face again and I brushed away some tears. There was a short silence on the other side of the phone. “Steve?“, I called his name, but he doesn’t answered. Suddenly the call ended and I looked at my phone. I unlocked the screen and went directly to my contacts and searched for his name. Before I could press the call button a hand appeared in front of me. 
“I wanna spent the rest of my life with you, I wanna see your beautiful smile until my last breath.“, I placed my hand in Steve his hand, he helped me to stand up. In that moment I realized where I was, I was just one street away from the compound.
“Everyday I fall more and more in love with you.“, his strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to his body. I glanced up at him, I caught him already staring down at me and I couldn’t do anything else than stare back into his beautiful eyes. I saw the world in them, I saw my world. I felt safe. 
In this moment, when I looked in his eyes, I realised it. He was it, he was my future. He was the man my mother always told me about. The man who loves you no matter what, with all his heart. 
“Spending the rest of my life with you, sounds like a life I would choose over everything in the world.“, he smiled wide at those words, I pulled him down and kissed him with all my heart. He was still smiling through the kiss, his arms wrapped even tighter around my body. 
We both pulled away from the kiss and gasped for air. We both smiled at each other like two big dorks. 
He placed his forehead against mine, “Do you wanna spent the rest of your life with me as my wife?“
My jaw dropped and I raised my head to look in his eyes. Suddenly he let go of me and fell on his knee in front of me, he pulled out a small box with a beautiful ring inside, “(Y/n) (Y/l/n), do you wanna marry me?“ 
The joy I felt in this moment was indescribable, the tears just rolled down my face and the smile I had was from ear to ear. 
“Yes, Steve. I wanna spent the rest of my life as your wife!“
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captainfknamerica · 6 years
Text
tagged by @tcnystarkd ♥ man i havent done one of these in forever
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
tagging: i don’t know who anyone is anymore omg this is stressful. but if you want to do the thing by all means say i tagged you!
last
1. drink - diet coke
2. phone call - my mom
3. text message - … also my mom?
4. song you listened to - something on the radio in the car (i can’t remember)
5. time you cried - stress crying when i was moving in november lol
6. dated someone twice? - nope
7. kissed someone and regretted it - yes
8. been cheated on - nope
9. lost someone special - yes
10. been depressed - yes
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - not drunk but threw up from too much alcohol on an empty stomach LOL
fave colours
12. teal
13. turquoise
14. green/red/black
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends - yes
16. fallen out of love - nope
17. laughed until you cried - yes!
18. found out someone was talking about you - no
19. met someone who changed you - more like rediscovered old parts of me
20. found out who your friends are - yes
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yes
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - probably 90%. i’ve been trying to purge the people i don’t talk to that just added me because they knew my siblings.
23. do you have any pets - not at my place
24. do you want to change your name - i used to, but now i like being a mystery 
25. what did you do for your last birthday - went to RICC (where @tcnystarkd and her sister were supposed to be) and i met sebastian stan but o nmy actual bday 2 weeks later i worked and then went to world of beer with some family for trivia night.
26. what time did you wake up today - 7:30 am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - trying to sleep after my pats lost 
28. what is something you cant wait for - a weekend where i don’t go anywhere
30. what are you listening to right now - silence
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - my dad’s name is tom … and there are a few toms in my family circle lol
32. something thats getting on your nerves - my ex-roommate
33. most visited website - probs an rp site
34. hair colour - dirty blonde/brown
35. long or short hair - long
36. do you have a crush on someone - eh
37. what do you like about yourself - my hair is a really nice length and the curls don’t hate me as much anymore!
38. want any piercings? - nope
39. blood type - -shrug-
40. nicknames - a lot of people call me cap. too many, 
41. relationship status - single as fuck
42. zodiac - sagittarius
43. pronouns - she/her
44. fave tv shows - i mourn the loss of penny dreadful and black sails in my life. also impatiently waiting for the man in the high castle to come back with new episodes!
45. tattoos - none. everyone makes fun of me because i dont like needles.
46. right or left handed - lefty af
47. ever had surgery - thankfully, no
48. piercings - ears
49. sport - volleyball, softball, dancing …snowmobiling?
50. vacation - i want to go somewhere i’ve never been, but i also want to see my far-flung friends
51. trainers - are we pokemon masters now?
more general
52. eating - nothing
53. drinking - nothing
54. i’m about to watch - the inside of my eyelids
55. waiting for - my writing skills and muse to return to me … also a trip to vermont in a few weeks
56. want - to travel, to write, to read more, to edit novels for the rest of my life
57. get married - at some point hopefully
58. career - associate quality assurance editor & aspiring book editor
59. hugs or kisses - hugs
60. lips or eyes - eyes
61. shorter or taller - taller
62. older or younger - older
63. nice arms or stomach - idk, honestly
64. hookup or relationship - relationship
65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger - nope
67. drank hard liquor - yes
68. lost glasses - I lose sunglasses and my regular glasses often
69. turned someone down - yes
70. sex on first date - nope
71. broken someones heart - yes
72. had your heart broken - nope
73. been arrested - … kinda
74. cried when someone died - yes
75. fallen for a friend - yes
do you believe in
76. yourself - sometimes
77. miracles - no
78. love at first sight - not really
79. santa clause - lol
80. kiss on a first date - no
81. angels - yes
other
82. best friend’s name - idk i cant pick just one D: and i dont think i’m cool enough or important enough to anyone at the moment to be a “best friend”
83. eye colour - hazel
84. fave movie - the mummy and the mummy returns hold a special place in my heart … alongside catws/the cap trilogy
85. fave actor - don’t make me choose D: 
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