#the list is actually huge because jesus christ

[guardarecheluna]

There's a version of life that i want, and it's just like this.

Words: 4.6K

Warnings: embarrassingly sweet fluff that may be giving you a toothache.

A/N: hi loves! Now let me tell you, THIS was self-indulgent. But I’m blaming some of you who’s asking for Harry and Y/N’s first meeting, SO, here you go, it’s absolutely filled with cliches and fluff – which is exactly what I’m into. Please let me know what you thought of this and if you'd like to hear more from them! <3

Summary: Their first meeting. Eyes searching for the other in the sea of people, clumsy, clammy hands grabbing at each other in the night, just for some sort of connection. Y/N swore up and down that love isn’t something you just find, it’s something you create. Oh, how wrong she was.

Masterlist HERE

The first meeting

It was just like that love that you read about in the books. It was fast, simple, pure and most of all, requited.

Harry and Y/N were very aware that whenever they were asked the story about how they first met, the story was often received and answered to with a sigh and a roll of their eyes. They knew, it sounded like an absolute fairytale. Not that there hadn’t been bumps in the road; there had been many, but the first night they met were free of any bumps and awkward conversations. Because when love was found, they wanted to sing it to the deep blue sea, from the high rooftops, that they had found their person. And that feeling; that night, is something no person or situation will ever take away from them - no matter how many rolled their eyes.

May 7th, 2019

“Y/N get a goddamn grip or I’m leaving without you.” Maya had yelled to Y/N from the lounge. A unusually huge glass in her hand filled with whatever alcohol she could find in Y/Ns apartment. Maya was already bothered, huffing and puffing when she arrived at Y/Ns apartment, and to find Y/N not yet ready for their outing was just one more inconvenience.

Y/N and Maya had been friends since university, and now, well into their 20s their friendship only grew more and more solid. “You need to give me a moment, Maya,” Y/N shouted back, keeping her voice as still and calm as she could, wanting Maya to calm down. Although she knew better than to use her gentle tone with Maya when she was upset, she snickered, knowing that Maya may as well be completely out of her mind by now. “Jesus fucking Christ on a boat, Y/N, don’t start.” Maya said under her breath. Y/N could hear her in the lounge, heavy feet waltzing around with angry, toddler-like steps, on a mission to get her point across that they needed to get a move on.

Y/N was just doing the finishing touches, perfume, bracelet, and a deep breath in the mirror. “Alright, we’re good,” she said, looking at herself, almost examining herself, looking for a reason to not step out of the front door. Not that there was anything holding her back besides her bed, Netflix and maybe some baking of a mudcake, but all of that just sounded much more tempting than their friend’s birthday party.

They were a small gaggle of friends from university still seeing each other now and then. They weren’t as close as Y/N and Maya were, but it was enough to see them a few times a year and get invitations to their parties. It was their friend Eli’s birthday this time, coupled with Eli’s boyfriend, who’s birthday was just around the corner.

Eli was an absolute whirlwind of a woman, energetic, social and constantly engaging with others because of it. A big party like this was Eli’s dream. She and her boyfriend, Melwin, had rented out this private property on the outskirts of London. A party pad by the lake with a huge outside area, bedrooms for all, and most importantly, a full bar. As you could guess, Eli was loaded. Or, actually, her family was. And while this party had been a bucket list thing for Eli for a long time, and it was definitely still special, it was also common for Eli to throw big parties.

Y/N and Maya had of course promised Eli that they were coming and staying over, since they had to get there with a car.

Y/N took one final look in the mirror, and then grabbed her packed bag from her chair, stuffing it with a few final things, the perfume from earlier, her trusted Aquaphor, charger and ID.

“I’m guessing I’ll be getting us there.” Y/N said, as she stepped out of her room, eyebrow rose in question of what she was witnessing. Maya was gulping down the final drops of whatever alcohol she had found in Y/N’s cupboard. Maya dragged the back of her hand against her lips making a face at the taste of the harsh alcohol, already regretting her decision of having a pre drink. “You know, we’re going to have to last until the morning, why are you doing this to yourself?” Y/N continued, laughing at Mayas face and the absolute amateur behaviour she was showing off. Maya closed her eyes, speaking slow and out of breath the big gulps of liquid she had just taken down. “You’re damn right, get your pretty ass in the car before I bring out the real hard stuff.” Maya had such a straight face, Y/N couldn’t help but laugh, and reply, “You’re cute, and about as intimidating as a butterfly stuck in pink candy floss, but alright.”

Y/N took the keys from Maya’s hand as she put her shoes on, standing in the doorway, with the key in the lock, ready to leave the stillness of her apartment for the weekend.

If she only knew.

Driving in London is a nightmare come to life. However, with enough pep talk and hurrahs from Maya, they finally made it to the outskirts of the city and made their way to the villa by the lake. And the house was…well it was huge.

Y/N parked beside the big timber house, looking out over the lake and the open-air party-area filled with tables, little gazeboes, a bar and string lights. They could hear the music blasting while they drove through the wooded area to get them to the house, high treetops decorating the sky and creating a perfect watercolour painting on the reflection of the lake.

Loud voices were heard from the other side of the house as they rounded up their things from the car and stepped inside. They definitely weren’t the first ones to arrive, and still, it would seem that the house was filled to the brim with people of different ages, genders and looks.

“Should we just find ourselves a room and lock us up in there?” Y/N said quietly to Maya without letting her gaze wander from the different people in the house. Maya rolled her eyes, the drink she had gulped down at Y/N’s apartment working in her system. Maya turned to look Y/N straight in the eye, with a stoney face. “Absolutely not. I’m not having another one of those nights, you’re going to drink, dance, have fun, and find a potential boyfriend. We’re done sitting inside drinking wine and whining about never finding prince charming. Done.” Ouch. Maya was maybe a little too honest with her feelings sometimes, but Y/N also knew that the looks and the shaming she was receiving was fully real and probably needed to give her a little kick.

Y/N let out a dramatic, fake sigh, “Fineeeee, but only you get me a shot in the next 7 minutes.” Maya smirked. “Well, lady, if that isn’t my specialty, what do you fancy?”

They walked into the crowd of people, arms linked together, snickering and looking around the crowd for something, or someone interesting.

Y/N was just going to steer them towards the outside bar area, eyes zeroed in on the target, when someone crashed harshly into her shoulder. “HEEY!” Maya yelled immediately when she realized what had went down.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I really didn’t think I had that much to drink, I’m so so sorry” A deeper, slow British accent sounded behind her. Y/N didn’t even bother to look at him, just put on a smile despite her now aching shoulder. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it, happens now and then. I actually enjoy hockey-tackling when I’m drunk so be on the lookout for when I’ve had a few shots later tonight.” Y/N said, finally meeting eyes with the force that crashed into her. A belly laughter erupted from a man, she realized. “I’ll be sure to be on the lookout, but I’ll make sure to stay out of the way just in case. What’s your name, hockey-fiend?” He said between chuckles, recovering from the laugh he let out. This was…an interesting conversation to say the least. Most people, when faced with Y/N’s witty commentary would back off immediately and just think she’s an incredibly strange person, but not him. “It’s Y/N.” She said plainly, a smirk on her glossy lips with her arm stretched out, hand for him to take. “Well, Y/N, I’m Harry. I’ll be on the lookout, let me know if you need me to be your punching bag.” He said, and he smiled. Y/N really wasn’t that bothered with men and their antics, but when Harry smiled, she true to god almost threw up. That smile was infections, it made her warm and cold at the same time, a shiver running down her back when he let go of her hand. And then he walked off, smile still sitting on his face.

Maya had been surprisingly quiet, her mouth agape when Y/N finally gained consciousness again and looked at her. “Do you realize who you just fucking tackled?” Maya whisper-screamed in Y/N’s face. Y/N knew he was familiar, she knew she had seen him somewhere, not quite being able to place him. Maybe he had been at another one of these parties. “Y/N, you just flirted with Harry fucking Styles, and guess what? You’re going to charm his goddamn pants off tonight, you’re going to hockey tackle him at least twice more and he’s going to like it.”

Well, Shit. A flush immediately settled over Y/N’s face. Did she just? There’s absolutely no way. She didn’t even mean to sound flirty, that had to be one of the most embarrassing experiences of her life. Y/N almost thinks it was good that he was famous, because he had to have so many interactions, that her embarrassing flirting and almost-tackle to the floor might just fade into the background.

“I can’t believe I fucking said that to Harry Styles, now I really have to have a shot. Or dig myself into a hole, that must be in like, the top 3 worst things I’ve ever done.” Y/N sighed, hands covering her face to hide her blushing skin. “How is he even here? Does Eli know him? Or Melwin? I’m going to lose my mind.” Y/N continued, sinking deeper into her hole of embarrassment, desperately needing to dig her way out of it. Luckily, Maya was there to drag her out of this, as usual. “Are you being for real? You understand that he flirted back, right? Hockey-fiend, my ass, let’s get drinking and I’ll snoop around for some more information about him. You’re getting laid with Harry Styles tonight, I’m fucking calling it.” Maya said, self-assured, and grabbed Y/Ns arm to head towards to bar. It was indeed time for a drink. Och seven.

It was slightly later in the evening. The sky wasn’t quite dark yet, but the string lights hanging above the outside area of the villa was giving the whole evening a much cozier feel, despite people being drunk off their asses. Y/N had was walking away from the crowd, knowing she needed a breather. Maybe a cigarette. She didn’t usually smoke, however at parties, she’d like to have one here and there. And it was a perfect excuse to get away for a moment. She could feel the alcohol in her system, but she wasn’t quite drunk, at least not yet.

As she looked around the crowd of people to find a way out, she caught his eyes again. Harry. It looked like he was standing in a circle with who she’s guessing was his friends, but the moment they made eye contact, none of them looked away. He smiled with those insanely sweet dimples, giving her a nod and then got dragged back into the conversation once more. Y/N smiled. Maybe she didn’t mess up as bad as she thought.

Y/N was sneaking away from the crowd for a moment and went down to the lake close by the house. And even though it was close enough that she could still hear the yelling, loud voices from the bar, and the music blasting lake, coming down to the still water gave her a sense of tranquillity. Still buzzing from the drinks she had ingested, she smiled to herself, like you do, and sat down in the grass by the lake.

She pulled out one of her cigarettes and lit it up. Deep strokes were inhaled and exhaled as the nicotine from the cigarette made her calm out to her fingertips.

“See, I didn’t take you as a smoker.” She heard a voice behind her. She knew it was him without even looking back, the deep, sultry voice and slight northern british accent.

“Well if you knew me, you’d know I’m not a smoker, guess you’ve got a lot to learn.” Y/N replied cheekily as he sat down beside her. Y/N hadn’t looked at him yet, he did make her nervous, for sure, her stomach churning and even though he was sat next to her, at least 20 centimetres away, it was like she could feel the heat from his body from where she was sitting. She finally decided to look up at him, eyes sparkling from the reflection of the lake and hair tousled in an annoyingly good-looking way, She drew her hand up, wordlessly offering him a drag from her cigarette. Maybe she was going to be brave today. “I’m no smoker either.” He said, and in the middle of the sentence reaching up and takin the cigarette she offered, smiling at her. “Hmm, I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about you, either.” She said, pulling her knees up and resting her arms overtop. She chuckled. “Want to play 20 questions?” She continued, laughing at her youthful wording. He laughed, handing her cigarette back, “Ask away, love.”

Y/N had no idea how long they had been sitting at the lake. It could’ve been a few minutes, or hours. They asked each other ridiculous questions, answers becoming even more strange and somehow deep and more meaningful by the minute. Sometimes a scilence fell over them, thinking about what to answer the other, but it was never that awkward feeling, he was just so easy. Patient, kind, and teasing, but in the most loving way a person could be. “What does it matter if I scrunch or fold the toilet paper?” Harry asked her, laughter erupting from him, shaking his whole body. Y/N was acting offended but smiling big as she shook her head. “I feel like it says a lot about a person! And from what I’m gathering you’re a scruncher.” She said, looking at him with an accusatory look. He raised his hand as if he’s surrendering. “Alright, alright.”

Harry felt free talking to her. She was so unbothered and funny, yet still had this bottomless depth of a personality.

Harry was the type of person to fall in love quickly, he knew this. It was also an issue, because in this situation, he already knew he was in deep shit looking at her curls falling from her head to her eyes scrunching up when she smiled. He was so fucked. Y/N on the other hand, was almost surprised that she managed to keep her cool talking to him. She could tell his eyes lingered on her face a little bit longer than necessary, and how his body language had opened up to her, almost matching hers. Y/N however, wasn’t one to fall in love quickly or without rhyme or reason. She knew that falling in love would take hard work, dedication from both people and most of all, attraction. So, the feeling of her chest feeling tight when Harry laughed at her stupid comments, or how her stomach churned when their eyes met was a foreign, and new feeling to her. Was this how it was supposed to feel like the whole time? Maybe she just hadn’t found her person.

Suddenly Y/N stood up. Eyeing the lake and then looking at Harry. He knew exactly what she meant. “You can’t be serious. It’s the beginning of may, it’s going to be freezing.” He looked at her, face challenging and unserious. “Oh I’m fully serious, watch me:” Y/N replied, tugging her top over her had and pulling down her trousers, leaving her in just her underwear as she ran towards the lake and clumsily jumped in. Harry instantly looked away from her body, keeping his eyes on her face as she ripped the clothes off her body, the gentleman he was.

She was so free. And Harry hadn’t felt like that in years. As she emerged from the water, her whole body till in the water, she said, “Are you coming, or?” Dragging out her R’s as to tease him slightly.

And it was almost like he couldn’t protest as to what his body did next. He stood up and started pulling off his shoes, along with his other clothes. “Shit. I can’t even believe this.” He said quietly to himself as he focused on not toppling over from the previous alcohol he had ingested.

Y/N swam out into the depths of the water as she saw him coming into the water after her. A constant smile on his pink lips, his cheeks aching from all the laughs she had given him, he swam up behind her, diving into the water and grabbing her ankle as she tried to fight him back.

They splashed at eachother, swam, and laughed without a care in the world. Without a care that this huge party was going on just 50 metres away from them; they were in their own little bubble.

They were out of breath by now, lips turning blue in the chilly May temperature. Harry was shivering from the cold, but honestly, he could barely feel the biting water that surrounding him when he looked at her. Her now et hair perfectly slicked against her head and eyes gleaming, but he could tell that she was shivering as well.

She swam up to him, deciding to be brave, embracing the fire in her chest and the confidence from the alcohol and his loving gazes. She wrapped her legs around his hips in the water, arms around his neck as she scratched his baby hairs at the nape of his neck. She could feel his whole body tighten up as he clasped his arms around her middle. They were face to face in the water, close, close. Breaths heaving and cold, blue lips smiling. She finally had his eyes looking at hers. “Is this alright?” Harry asked, almost shyly, a furrow in his brow as if it wasn’t her who came up to him and wrapped herself around his body. She nodded. “You haven’t looked at my body even once.” She said calmly, forehead leaning against his, eyes still set on his.

He chuckled. “I..I didn’t want to without it being okay with you.” The confident and self-assured Harry she had seen earlier almost completely gone as he grabbed her closer, bringing her so that her body was flush against his. “You’re sweet. But if I remember correctly I was the one who pulled all my clothes off in front of you and dragged you into the water. I want you to look at me.” She replied to him, giving the back of his neck a scratch with her nails. She could feel the hairs on his arms standing up from goosebumps, but she couldn’t tell if it was her doing or if it was the cold water. He broke their eye contact and looked down, his forehead nudging her nose. Harry let a puff of air escape his lungs, “I’m in so much trouble with you.” Y/N smiled at his comment, and he looked up at her again, foreheads touching once again. Harry’s hand came up to touch her cheek, and she leaned into his hand, placing a gentle kiss on his palm. If this was in any other dimension, Y/N was sure she could see hearts in his eyes as he looked at her lips touching his palm. Y/N writhed in his arms, cold lips like magnets, wanting to button together as if the universe had them made for each other. Neither Y/N or Harry knows how long this silent dreamstate they were in lasted, switching breaths and desperately wanting to get closer. “Can i kiss you?” Harry whispered, breaking the silence between them. And before Harry could even listen for an answer from her, their lips met in a mix of warmth, magic, and desperation. Harry let a moan slip out when their lips finally touched. This was the feeling he had been chasing ever since he almost knocked her to the ground earlier in the day. The tense desperation building between them ever since they sat down at the lake and ever since he had laid eyes on her. It was her, it was all her on his mind, Harry felt like he could go crazy, just by having her lips touching his. Their kiss continued, hands touching and grabbing at their sides, hair and cheeks. As they broke their kiss they didn’t dare to speak. It felt like all of their manners and etiquette had been drained from them, letting their nature take over in overwhelmingly good kisses. “I hate to do this, but I think my toes are about to fall off of my body.” Harry whispered to her, his confidence wittiness from the start, back in his voice. Y/N gave him a “Mhm.” As he started to move them to the shoreline, limbs still tangled and frozen to each other’s bodies.

Harry put Y/N down as they reached the grass, and man, now without her body clinging to his, he could really feel the cold. He grabbed his coat that was still laying on the grass, draping it over Y/N’s shoulders. The rest of their clothes and shoes as well as the now almost empty pack of cigarettes, he scooped up in his arms. “C’mon.” He smiled to her, giving her a short kiss to her lips, leading the way around the house and to the room he was staying in for the night. She looked at him with pure adoration and love-sickness at this point, and followed along.

It was almost 3am at this point, and the party out in the garden was still in full swing, Y/N thought to herself that if she knew her friends right, they party was just now starting, and they would keep going until at least 5am, waiting for the sun to start rising.

It was Y/N’s turn to feel shy as Harry had his arm in the small of her back, letting her into his room. He immediately dropped their clothes and belongings on the floor of the hallway and dragged her with him to the bathroom. They were both shaking from the cold as Harry’s icy fingers turned on the shower and pulled her in with him, both still in their underwear. “God, I can’t even feel the bottom half of my body. Remind me to never do that again, even if it is to impress a cute boy.” Y/N stuttered out as they waited for the water to turn hot. She didn’t look at him, her eyes focusing on the water, waiting for the steam to engulf her. However, if she had looked at him, she would see the same love-sick eyes and syrupy sweet smile spreading on his features. “No more impressing cute boys, I’ll get too jealous, if I’m honest.” He said as he pulled her in under the water, their bodies immediately relaxing under the heat of the water, skin turning bright red from the change in temperature.

Their lips found each other once again, in the warm water of Harry’s shower. Hands moving to touch wherever they could. “Will you stay here with me tonight?” Harry let out between kisses.

Y/N did a crash-analysis in her head the moment he asked her. Was he looking for just a one-time thing? He was famous after all, maybe this was just how he brought home the girl’s he’d like to sleep with. No, she could swear there was something in his eyes that wasn’t just lust and looking for someone to stick his dick into, this was something else. She decided to be brave, maybe even test him, if you will.

She nodded to his question, “Yes.”

As they got out of the shower, Harry offered her some warm clothes from his suitcase. She climbed into the fluffy cloud of a bed, freshly washed with crisp white linen that made her almost let out a moan from how good it felt. She put herself in the middle of the bed, and turned to the window, closing her eyes for a moment, smiling for herself as she tried to comprehend all that happened this evening.

Harry joined her in bed, also in a fresh pair of underwear and sweats, chest bare as still flushed red from their shower. “Can I lay next to you?” Harry let out as he lifted the duvet, always asking her for permission. He really was the most careful and caring person, she was realizing. And he she felt almost dumb to have even considered that the chemistry they had was to be excused as a simple hook-up at a party. She didn’t answer him, but he helped him raise the duvet further and reached her arms out for him as an invitation. He looked at her as he got in right next to her, as their limbs once again tangled together for further connection and closeness.

And they talked, they continued talking through the night, playing with fingers, listening and laughing at anecdotes, jokes and facts.

Harry could tell her eyes was starting to droop as her speech got quieter and more slurred, words getting caught in her lips on their way out. “Shhhh,” Harry hushed her in the middle of the sentence. “Sleep and we’ll talk more in the morning; I’m not letting you out of that cliffhanger that easily though.” He continued with fondness in his voice, kissing her cheek and forehead, Y/N relaxing in his arms. Y/N let out a happy sigh of contentment as she cuddled closer to Harry’s chest, face fully burrowed into his neck and breathing in his natural scent. She was already drifting off though, there was nothing stopping her now.

They both fell asleep that night in each other’s arms, engrossed in what would bloom to become the most beautiful, important relationship they had ever had. But at that point, bundled up in each other’s arms and peacefully resting through to the late morning - they just didn’t know yet.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #ficmas #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #dadrry #dad!harry #harry styles masterlist

[ms-demeanor]

not be suuuuuuper annoying but the concerns raised about aspartame by the WHO are almost entirely regarding its potential carcinogen status and not seizures. specifically, as a "possible" carcinogen, group 2B, which, while very far removed from confirmed carcinogens, becomes a very real concern because some people consume aspartame in very large quantities on a daily basis, like 12 cans of diet coke a day, no problem.

so yes, there's a great deal of ridiculous charlatan-style behavior surrounding aspartame, but that's not really related to the actual research being done. we can't look to rodent studies as the end-all-be-all, and even human observational studies dimly linking cancer to aspartame must be taken with a huge grain of salt, because, again, observational study, but when it comes to super-long-term-consumption of an ingredient and the potential for cancer, it's not unreasonable to evaluate your personal risk tolerance and decide it's not a bad idea to reduce or eliminate aspartame from your diet

tldr (do people still use this term?): the actual concerns about aspartame aren't about sensitivity or seizures and it cannot be conclusively said to be completely safe, but at the same time it's not a huge deal especially if you don't ingest that much of it regularly

sorry for being so annoying about this shit :( <3

So that report came out a year after I had started doing the research so it obviously didn't come up in my original deep dive and the WHO's findings on aspartame as being possibly carcinogenic are pretty much in line with prior recommended limits on aspartame consumption.

I'm not going to deny that there are some people who consume 12 cans of diet sodas a day, but I do want to point out that people who are consuming 12 cans of diet soda are drinking more than a gallon of soda each day. This is a tiny number of consumers (the vast majority of consumers drink 16oz or less a day of *any* kind of soda, diet or otherwise). At that point you don't just need to worry about the aspartame, you need to worry about what that's doing to your sodium intake as a much more proven risk (12 cans of diet coke a day gives you about half a gram more salt than would otherwise be in your diet), or be concerned about the possible connection between artificial sweeteners and metabolic syndrome.

And I really just cannot emphasize enough that the vast, vast majority of people aren't consuming more than 5 cans of diet soda daily, let alone 10 - aspartame consumption among people who use aspartame is in the 5-13mg/kg range, not in the 40-50mg/kg range except for a few very rare cases.

Humans are bad at risk assessment. People look at the IARC reclassification and look at their own (typically very small) aspartame consumption, and will stop drinking diet drinks (and will often tell other people to stop drinking diet drinks).

Drinking somewhere in the neighborhood of a gallon of diet soda each day is possibly carcinogenic, or at the very least *not provably not cancer-causing* and people have been talking about it and writing thinkpieces about it and the anti-aspartame crew has been insufferable about it since July made.

So what has happened here is that a very reasonable organization has made a very reasonable category change to a chemical that switched it from "known not to cause cancer" to "not known to not cause cancer" and the anti-aspartame crew has continued to list cancer, and neurological problems, and seizures, and a whole host of other things as the results of aspartame consumption.

And, like, I'm not calling these people charlatans for this paper but jesus christ:

Actually maybe I am going to call these people charlatans. This all links back to the "aspartame metabolizes as formaldehyde and poisons you" thing (which a lot of the extremely suspect research on aspartame does).

People are *absolutely* still doing research into the more absurd claims of anti-aspartame activists. This paper was published *this month* (and relies on the self-reported memories of mothers of autistic children to recall how much aspartame they consumed during pregnancy, which is not going to be a *great* set of data to analyze)

But anyway, before I go down that rabbit hole, let's get back to cancer and cancer risk. It is, of course, totally okay for you to look at the designation of aspartame as a 2B substance and decide that you don't want to use aspartame anymore, that you think it's too much of a risk.

You know what's in IARC category 2A, or probably carcinogenic to humans?

Drinking hot tea. Or coffee. Or water. Or cocoa.

Drinking liquid over 65 degrees Celsius/ 149 degrees fahrenheit is biologically plausible as a cause of cell damage that may lead to cancer. There is more evidence of this connection than the connection between aspartame and cancer.

You know what we called 150 degrees when I was working at the coffee shop? Kid hot. Because that's how hot you can make hot cocoa for kids so it is warm enough to be hot cocoa but won't burn their tongues. If you serve most adults coffee or tea at 150 degrees they'll consider it cold (or at least not as hot as a hot drink should be). Starbucks doesn't serve hot coffee at under 165F and if you ask for extra hot it'll be closer to 180.

The IARC report listing hot beverages as category 2A means that it's not unreasonable to evaluate your personal risk tolerance and decide it's not a bad idea to reduce or eliminate liquids over 65C from your diet.

But nobody is doing that.

Basically more research needs to be done on everything and you're not being annoying, the way that human brains work and assess risk and set up phantoms to get scared of even when there are much bigger and realer risks (like consuming any amount of alcohol on a regular basis) that people are perfectly willing to overlook.

It's like being afraid of plane crashes but cheerfully getting in your car for a 20 mile daily commute with no concerns or worries because it's something you do every day.

Brains! They're annoying!

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #history huh #bet we could make some

[james-winston]

omfg I am so behind on this (and yes I’ve only become aware of it because Nicholas Galitzine offof rwarb is in it) but they’re making a fucking Duke of Buckingham series!!!

And you’re all sitting there like “who??” well let me tell you about this absolute fuck.

George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham was the favourite of King James VI&I and by favourite I do mean it in the gayest of ways. (He started life as Sir George, the shittest of titles, and fucked his way to a Dukedom.)

Long story short, here’s a list of things I need to see in this series or I will SUE:

George slut dropping his way into James’s bed. (I mean, he danced for him, but whatever the 17th century equivalent to slut dropping was you can bet George was doing it.)

The exasperation of James’s advisors when he picks yet another beautiful young man to fuck and give totally unreasonable amounts of money and power to.

Even funnier if they show them actively helping George overthrow James’s old favourite before realising “oh shit this one’s worse.”

George failing consistently at every job he was given. (Yes I know he didn’t actually but where’s the comedy in competency? Give me himbo George or give me death.)

Parliament calling James to task on George being a fucking useless nuisance and James standing up in front of parliament and literally saying, “You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf, and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had his John, and I have my George.” (Huge points for throwing Jesus under the gay bus too.)

James practically arranging George’s marriage for him and then riding his horse around the park crying because George, shock, got married.

What better be the dirtiest sex scenes ever broadcast on British television that lead to the “master and dog” letter.

The consistent drama queenery from James, e.g:

I refuse to tag this as a spoiler because it happened 400 years ago: George smothering James and then playing the heartbroken widow to his son. (Historically debated, if anyone wants details shoot me an ask.)

George getting stabbed to death in what was probably the justified climax of him being the most irritating man alive.

George’s assassin getting the warmest send off ever given by any crowd at a public execution cause the people hated George so fucking much.

#Nicholas Galitzine #literally zero interest in historical accuracy beyond these points #I do think the series is going to focus on George being evil tho #which is a shame #cause he was James’s favourite for 10 years and I genuinely think there was affection from George #I also hope they don’t try and hammer home that he was totally straight #I know there’s a chance he was but I still don’t find it very likely at all #lots of straight men at court didn’t fuck the king for power #also to be clear I love George and will be defending him to the death #but he was also useless and stupid and possibly a murderer #but also he’s my baby :) so :) #and he died 400 years ago so he’s essentially a fictional character and therefore he’s allowed to be my problematic fave #AND HE PROBABLY DIDNT KILL JAMES ANYWAY #George and Mary #History #George Villiers #James I #LGBT History #Gay History

[darklydeliciousdesires]

The Dream - Chapter Twenty Eight.

Huge thanks for your engagement on this, besties. I appreciate those of you who are still taking the time to read and offer feedback hugely :) Just one more chapter and an epilogue left after this one. Thanks for sticking with me to those of you who have! 

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty Twenty One  Twenty Two  Twenty Three  Twenty Four  Twenty Five  Twenty Six  Twenty Seven

Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)

Words - 2,948

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“Angel just got here, I’m gonna go out and meet him, babe.”  

Meryl nodded, but her eyes didn’t leave her daughter for a second, lying there in the hospital bed, clinging to life, wires poking out from her arms and hands, a machine breathing for her. David placed a kiss on her head before departing, the weight of the situation heavy upon his broad shoulders. Nurses smiled kindly at him as he passed, him nodding in acknowledgement, his chest tight with the tension.  

She might not have been his by biology, but that was his kid in there. His little. She had to be okay, because losing her at just twenty-three wasn’t an option. No parent should ever have to bury their child, and no young woman deserved to have her life cut short so cruelly when she was only at the very beginning of going out there to live it.  

A gentle nudge from a woman he’d been standing next to waiting for the elevator roused him, David shaking himself, stepping in and pressing the button for the ground floor. When he arrived outside, Angel was pacing with a cigarette, pale, eyes wide. As he expected.  

“What happened? Is she alright?”

David steadied him with a hand to his shoulder, shaking his head. “She’s in a bad way, Angel. The Uber she was in got hit by a truck on the freeway, the driver was killed instantly, and it took the fire department a half hour to cut her from the wreckage, after which she’d lost a dangerous amount of blood.  

“Her injuries are severe, and she was taken for emergency surgery as soon as she arrived. I want you to brace yourself when you see her, because she don’t look like Keri right now. They had to shave half her hair to operate on her brain, relieve the pressure from the swelling, which they did, but her injuries are so extensive that the next twenty-four hours remain critical. We’ve been told to prepare ourselves for the worst.”

It was as if someone had injected ice into his veins, his entire body trembling in chill, the fear swelling within him as he nodded dumbly, David putting his arm around his shoulders and guiding him into the building. His whole body felt rigid, his feet shuffling him forward without conscious thought, disbelief hanging over him like a fog.

This couldn’t be happening.  

Not to her, not to them. Not his Keri.  

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered in the elevator, rubbing his face with his hand. “I just...”

David nodded, gripping his shoulder firmly. “I know. Don’t matter how bleak it all is, we gotta keep faith, hold hope that she’ll recover. She needs us to.”  

He nodded, a lump rising in his throat, one that he managed to hang onto, until he actually saw her.  

“Fuck,” he winced, having to turn away and take a deep breath, seeing here lying there like that, walking to her side and leaning to gently kiss her head. “I’m here, baby. I love you so fucking much. We’re all here, and we ain’t going anywhere, not until you wake up. Please wake up soon, Keri.” Reaching across the bed, he grasped Meryl’s hand, her tear-streaked face brightening into a smile for him.  

“I’m so glad you’re here, love.”

“Ain’t no other place I’d be.” He let go after a few seconds, his fingers finding Keri’s, her hand a mess of tubes and cuts, her beautiful face blackened by bruising. It didn’t feel real, how in the space of a few hours his entire world had been capsized. Why was this happening to her?

“I’m gonna go to the machine and get a coffee,” David stated, looking between them. “You guys want anything?”

They shook their heads, Meryl thanking him anyway, the door closing with a soft click behind him.

“How did it all happen? David didn’t go into detail.”  

She took a deep breath, tremored, the story she’d heard from Sunni still crashing against her insides like a tornado. She felt fortunate at least, that someone who loved Keri so much had been there to attend to her as soon as she’d arrived, although her heart went out to him, having to remain professional while he treated his niece, all the emotion he must have had to push deep down. “A truck had a tire blow out, hit the Uber side on, propelling it into the path of another truck and sending the vehicle into a roll.  

“The guy in the second truck managed to break sharply, more cars hit the back of him, too. It was a huge pile up. He got out and went straight to their aid, saw the driver was dead, but Keri was apparently still conscious. He called for the emergency services, crawled partly into the wreck of the car and pressed his shirt against her shoulder wound, where part of the windscreen had pierced through. He stayed with her, too, and gave his account of what happened to the paramedics.  

“She was taken to the OR, where they operated to repair her shoulder and the damage to her chest cavity, also to stop the swelling and bleeding on her brain. We’ll only know how bad it is once she's stable enough to be scanned, but at this point, they’re only giving her a twenty percent chance of surviving through the night, her injuries are so huge.”  

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, fingers tightening on hers as much as he dared, reaching to gently stroke her face. “She’s a fighter. She’ll get through it, and I ain’t leaving until she does.”

“She’d better,” Meryl choked, sobbing, “because I can’t fucking lose her, too. Not my little girl as well.” Angel moved to her side in an instant, crouching to wrap her in a hug, Meryl falling apart into floods of tears as she held onto him tightly. “Oh god, Angel. I just... I can’t. What if we lose her?”

He was soft, yet staunch in his reply. “We aren’t going to. She’s hurt badly, but she’s gonna be fine. She has to be. It ain’t her time yet.” Unravelling from her, he touched a hand to her cheek, raising his eyebrows. “All this is, is the biggest Calamity Joe stunt she’s ever pulled, and we’re gonna tell her that when she wakes up, ain’t we?”

He wondered for a second if his words were poorly timed, his effort to try and give Meryl a little lightness. When she laughed softly through her nose and kissed his forehead, he saw it was perhaps just what she needed. “Yes, that’s exactly what it is. And we will.”  

The hours that followed showed her stats stabilising, but by no means was she out of the woods. Her friends arrived one by one, Frankie and Jaime first, the former literally collapsing in tears, Angel having to pick her up off the floor after her legs had given way from under her. He sat her on his lap, holding her tight as she held Keri’s hand, talking to her, telling her how much she loved her.

“This kid has a damned tough skull. She’s made it through alive this far when in all honesty, she could have died right there in the wreckage. That’s what it is, her tough skull,” Meryl spoke, reaching to squeeze Frankie’s arm. “Remember when you guys were nine, and you decided to use a refuse bag to go sliding down the stairs, and Keri’s head smacking into the front door was your brakes?”

She laughed through her tears, drying her eyes on the back of her hand. “Or when you were having the wall built in the backyard, when she tried to climb up onto the pile of bricks waiting to be used, and one came straight down on her head? ‘I’m fine, I’m okay!’ and she had blood everywhere, looking like something out of a horror movie from a tiny half inch cut on her forehead?”  

“Or when she got so drunk, she didn’t get the pull out secured properly and ended up sandwiched in it, with her head wedged?” Jaime offered, Frankie collapsing into giggles as she remembered them having to rescue her.

“She tripped over at the clubhouse one night, ended up headbutting Gilly, and that guy has a skull like concrete,” Angel added, laughing at the memory of Gilly roaring whether her head was made of rocks, from how sharply her skull had pounded off his as he’d caught her. “Baby you better wake up and shush me, or imma start telling your friends and your mom some of your really embarrassing fuck ups.”

Sadly, their precious Calamity Joe remained unmoving, her chest rising and falling steadily as the machine breathed air into her lungs, all four of them trying to keep their spirits up in the face of such a bleak prognosis. Jaime and Frankie stayed as late as they could, before it was just Angel and Meryl, the staff allowing them both to stay with her overnight, given the circumstances, nurses coming in every hour or so to check on her. Every check yielded no change in her condition.  

“I booked the vacation,” he began to tell her, reaching to stroke her cheek. “Fourteen nights in Ocho Rios in December. I know you showed me that hotel, but the bungalow I found was way nicer, even though it cost a fucking shit tonne more, you’re worth every cent. I can’t wait to show you, you're gonna love it. You’ll scream when you see the coastline, everything you can photograph. If you’re still unsteady after all of this, we can push it back, but if not then it’ll be the perfect place to take you so you can chill out and rest. I’ll do everything, you don’t gotta worry about a thing.”

It hurt his heart, having to speak about a future he didn’t yet know he’d get to share with her, but he had to hold hope that he would. She’d survived the night, which was something, at least. There was hope she would continue to make slow progress, even if the hours that followed still offered no change.

Running on no sleep, Angel felt his eyes beginning to grow heavy at around half past five the following afternoon.

“You should try and get a little sleep,” Frankie advised, after arriving straight from visiting her grandparents, Angel shaking his head.

“I can’t. Not until she wakes up.”  

She nodded, stroking his hair lovingly. “Alright, big guy. I’m going to go grab a coffee, see you in a little while.” He watched her leave the room, resisting the urge for sleep that continued to tug at him all he could, putting his head down beside her hip on the bed, his hand still holding hers tightly.  

The sounds of the sea drifted into his ears, opening his eyes to familiar surroundings, everything so brilliant white and beautiful. Nothing was a beautiful as the face that greeted him, though.

“Ahh, he finally sleeps.”  

He felt a sob well his throat, pulling her into his arms, not able to voice the emotions stirred in him properly. “Baby, I... and you’re...”  

“Shhh, calm down,” she advised, stroking his hair. “You have to stay asleep, so I can actually spend some time with you. We need this moment.”  

Looking up at her, he stroked her face, loving kisses finding her lips, holding her to him tightly. “And you gotta fight it, what happened to you, come back to us, to me. I know that you can.”  

“Just lie here with me, listen to the ocean. It’s so beautiful here, so peaceful. This is our place, where we always found each other through the absolute madness of everything. Let’s just enjoy it. All is well here. I love you,” she spoke, her hands loving in their glide, laying kisses to his forehead. It all made sense to her now, the white room, how they always found themselves back there. Finally, she got it, what it meant, although she wished she didn’t.  

“I love you too, baby. More than you could ever know.”

Her nails scratched at his beard, her smile widening. “Trust me, my beautiful man. I know.” He sank into the peace of the moment, his heart hurting that it wasn’t real, the bittersweetness of it hitting him hard. It was how they’d begun. It felt so real, her skin against his, her smell, her, just her, there in his arms, in the safe sanctuary of the white room. “No man has ever meant more to me than you do, and I want you to know that, Angel. I want you to remember it. Never, ever forget it.”

Looking down at her, he felt sadness swell in his heart. “That obelisk, it was never about me, was it?”

She shook her head.  

“I ain’t ready, Keri. This can’t be the end. I can’t say goodbye to you yet.”  

Kissing his tears as they fell, she shed a few of her own, too, at the unfairness of it all, her heart throbbing with waves of sadness as she clung onto him. Her entire being wanted to keep fighting to be with him, but she knew. It was her time to depart. “Neither am I, but it doesn’t hurt here, baby.”

Those words broke him completely, Keri holding him tightly. “Shhhh, honey. It’ll be okay.”

“No, it won’t. It won’t be okay, not without you.”  

“Yes, it will. I mean, not for a while, but eventually.” Pausing, she kissed him, her hands gliding over his chest, drinking him in, her love burning ever brighter with every precious moment that passed. “It isn’t fair, and I know this. But at least we have right now, this moment, so I can tell you how endlessly I love you.”  

“Please don’t go,” he begged softly, willing her to stay with him with everything he had. The devil could have offered up a contract for his soul in that moment, and he’d sign his name to it instantly if it would give him his love back, make it not so that he had to lose her, and she had to lose everything. “I need to make it up to you, still. I gotta show you that I’m capable of being better for you, please, Keri. Please don’t leave me.”

“Hey, you don’t have to make up for anything. I know, Angel, I know. I want you to know that I don’t want to go, either. I don’t. But I can’t hold on, no matter how much I want to. I’ll always be with you, though. I promise.” Kissing his head, she looked at him with a smile, her beauty burning into his retinas, the moment one he knew he’d remember forever. “You look after yourself, you hear me? I love you, Angel. I love you so much.”

He felt something tug as his insides, the dream beginning to slip, protesting, trying to hang onto her. “No, please don’t go, Keri. Please stay with me.”

“I love you, Angel.”

“No... no... I love you too, baby. Hold on, please. I love you.”

The sounds of the sea swelled in his ears, his consciousness coming back to him, the feel of someone grasping his shoulders and hauling him away from the bed as a long, droning noise sounded from one of the machines, the room suddenly full of medical personnel, someone pulling him to his feet, Meryl being asked to leave the room as well, her screams sharp in his ears as his eyes watched it all happen.  

They worked rapidly, but it played by slowly to him, every movement he knew was futile, his tears falling as he watched from the open door, knowing it was too late, Meryl hysterical in David’s arms. They tried and tried, but it was no good.  

As he watched her fade away, every moment of her replayed in his head, the dreams they’d found one another in, the reality that followed, everything that was their incredible story, now cut short entirely too soon.  

“Time of death, five fifty-one pm.”  

Meryl’s wail was of primal agony, collapsing, David lifting her into his arms, clutching her tightly as Angel felt the bottom of his world crash out from under him. She was gone. As he staggered back to fall down into a seat across from her room, he felt the sharp-toothed jaws of grief close in around him, goring at where he was soft, his head meeting his hands as he cried for her, his insides churned and ripped to shreds by the shards of his broken heart.  

He had no concept of time as he sat there, replaying those last moments with her in their dream, the last time he’d ever seen her alive and well in the airport, the first dream, the first everything, the future he’d never have with her, robbed so cruelly from them both. He’d found and lost her in dreams. They’d come full circle.

“I’m always coming back.”

Except now she wasn’t, and it was through no fault of her own that she would never again return to him. The cruel, biting irony of the situation was not lost on him as the grief of losing her swallowed him whole, drowning in the darkness of it, feeling someone crouch before him, two hands stroking his arms.  

Looking up into Frankie’s tear-filled eyes, he didn’t have a clue what to say to her, both resting their foreheads together before embracing tightly, crying on one another, their worlds absolutely shattered for no longer having their precious Keri within them.

A/N - I’m so sorry to do this to you all :( I think a few of you might’ve worked it out already though, that this was where we were always heading, picked up on the clues from the dreams. Well done if you did! But yes, this was always set to go in a very different direction to how I usually take my stories, and it was a challenge, but one I hope I managed to do justice to. 

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes smut #angel reyes x ofc #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic

[tabbyrocks]

odd mha ships i dont like and why

dabihawks/ hotwings

they hate eachother. dabi tried to kill him, and theres just literally no chemistry between them. if they ever DID get into a realationship it would be horribly unhealthy. also i think dabi is too obsessed with his dad to want a relationship. (hawks idolizing his abuser does not help)

endevorhawks

absolutely not. this is basically a proship due to the 20-30 year age gap and it being abuser x abused. if you like this i hope you get hit by a fucking car you nasty freak.

twicehawks

didn't realize this was a ship untill recently. gross. sure, they were buddy buddy but ONLY because hawks was trying to get info out of him. hawks liked him as a person / thought he was better then the rest of the villans but twice was set in his ways, so it would never work. also hawks like actually killed him.

bakudeku

literally VOMITS oh my god i hate bakudeku. bakugo is horribly written and the ship itself is so unrealistic. bakugo bullied and abused izuku for 10 YEARS STRAIGHT. TEN YEARS. even with bakugo's "character development" its still really bad. the closest i can see them being is pals.

monobaku

i think this might actually be worse then bakudeku on a logistic level. they both DESPISE eachother. bakugo canonly thinks he's the spawn of Satan. please just let enemies be enemies dear lord.

kiribaku

as much as i hate any sort of ship with bakugo involved this might be the most tame one on this list. i just don't like it. bakugo is overly mean to ALL of his friends and they really only have a strong mutual respect for eachother. also he uses him as a human punching bag just because he can harden. keep your hands to yourself bakugo jesus christ,,

todobaku

this one just makes me sad. bakugo doesn't want a single thing to do with todoroki but todoroki is like so heavily autistic that HE GENUENLY THINKS THEY ARE FRIENDS???? like it hurts me to my core please stop talking to bakugo todoroki im begging.

monoma x tamaki (i dont know the shipname for this and i dont care enough to find out)

I can't believe i even have to mention this one but i had a very interesting situation back when i was active on twitter where ALL of my mutuals thought that this shit was morally okay and i had to block all of them. thats a minor x an adult. i thought we established that freshman x seniors is fucking gross what is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. "oh but its only a two year age gap-" WRONG!!! its a 2 and a half year age gap. people seem to forget that teenage brains develop really fucking fast that even though the age gap is only 2 and a half years the MATURITY GAP IS HUGE. also, normal fucking 18+ yr olds DO NOT like dating people under 17 (some of them ive talked to, like my brother, said that even 17 is iffy and heavily depends on how mature they are). also, if we completely ignore the age + maturity gap, their personalities clash. tamaki would probably be fucking bat shit terrified of monoma due to how eccentric he is. also they havn't interacted in canon ONCE. this one is also basically a proship.

Bonus:

togachako

I used to hate this ship because i thought it would just be super toxic, but the recent chapters of the manga really won me over. its just the build up to that point was honestly ass, like we went from 20% to 100% WAY too fast.

#oh dear this post is long #anti dabihawks #anti hotwings #anti twicehawks #anti hawkstwice #anti twice x hawks #anti endeavorhawks #anti bkdk #anti bakudeku #anti bakugo #anti bakugo katsuki #anti monobaku #anti kiribaku #anti todobaku #anti monoma x tamaki #anti monoki?? #anti tamamono???? #idk what the fuck the name is #not exactly anti togachako #was anti togachako at some point #but then ochako basically proposed to her and i was like “oh damm okay” #i only like enimies to lovers if they arnt trying to murder eachother every second #honestly i think i just hate bakugo x litterally anyone #every day i grieve the loss of prototype bakugo #he could of been autistic but instead hes just horrible #that twitter thing was true btw #alot of them had proship dni in their bios too #hypocrites

[clovermunson]

dating steve harrington would include…

author’s note: the brain rot for eddie is strong, but the brain rot for this grade a dumbass is even stronger. is this piece a little self-indulgent, best friends to lovers kinda deal? …maybe it is. but i have absolutely no shame in my game. anyway, this is all i have to offer for right now. but this, along with the eddie headcanon list are precursors to the fics i’ll eventually publish on this beloved little hellsite. likes and reblogs are appreciated, but please do not repost my work!! —morgan🖤

you’d known Steve since kindergarten, and he’d become your best friend on the first day of school

the two of you did everything together, from classroom coloring activities to playground dares with each other and the other kids

by the time high school came around, you were still practically inseparable, even though now you were essential to Steve passing literature class and writing decent essays

did you both have crushes on each other once you got older? of course you did. everyone knew it but the two of you oblivious fools

he never really got the guts to ask you out until after he and Nancy had broken up, and it took a good little shove from Nancy herself to get him to do it

but jesus christ was he happy when he finally did and you didn’t turn him down (because let’s be real here, Steve was expecting the worst and a huge ego bruise)

it didn’t take long for you to find out about the upside down, and of course once Steve got fully dragged into it, so did you because you’d do anything to protect that group of kids you’d grown to love

you and Steve are The Babysitters™️

so of course dating Steve “the hair” Harrington comes with its perks

one of those perks being free ice cream when he worked at scoops, and him always giving you an extra scoop…or two. Robin isn’t amused in the slightest, but she isn’t surprised either

you get to see him in that ridiculous little uniform every day, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t cute. you totally agreed that the hat was blowing his best feature though

you’d always go visit him on his breaks, sometimes bringing him lunch and you’d sit and eat together

one time when you came in, he instinctively greeted you with “ahoy!” and you couldn’t stop laughing about it

so many car rides together, whether it’s the middle of the day or late night when you both just can’t sleep and need a little escape

Steve not being able to keep himself from leaning over and kissing you during said car rides

he doesn’t mean to do it, but he mother hens you sometimes too, always worrying over you and always being the first to check up on you when you’re hurt or sick

you’ve seen Steve’s entire change first hand from “King Steve” to the best, most caring version of himself possible

and you couldn’t be more proud of him for it

but the truth is, Steve is so worried that he’s not a good boyfriend, when in reality, he’s actually the best and then some

his love language is physical touch. no questions asked. he’s always holding your hand, hugging you from behind and resting his head on top of yours, or has his arm around you if he hasn’t already pulled you into a full-frontal hug

pda does not bother this man at all. if he wants to hug you in front of everyone, for any reason, he will. if he wants to kiss you like he’ll never be able to kiss you again, there’s absolutely no stopping him

so many cute nicknames. so. many.

‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ are his favorites though

he doesn’t like it when you two argue or fight for any reason and he always feels so guilty about it until you’re cuddling him and running your fingers through his hair

speaking of, he’s always such a sucker for letting you play with his hair, because he won’t let anyone else touch it and he absolutely loves the feeling

if you’re cold, he makes sure to have a spare jacket of his, and if he doesn’t, he’ll immediately give you the one he’s wearing…even if it is ten degrees outside

always expect flowers or gifts. even if you don’t actually expect Steve to get them for you, he’s already done it and he’s gonna surprise you with it

which means he will randomly show up to your house or your workplace, a gift and/or a bouquet of flowers in hand and a goofy little smile on his face

but when him and Robin start working at family video, movie nights become a tradition on friday nights, even if he got off at midnight or later and you both fall asleep not even halfway through the movie

he tries to act like a tough guy but you know the truth…he’s a teddy bear

all of his shirts have pretty much become yours since the first time you tried on one of his sweatshirts and he absolutely loved it

“i love you so much”

“not possible because i’ll always love you the most”

which makes everyone in the room fake gag

Dustin constantly asking the two of you for advice on his relationship with Suzie

and he quickly finds out that was a bad idea because now you’re both talking his ears off and he can’t process all the information

jealousy j e a l o u s y. Steve swears he isn’t jealous, but the second someone oversteps a boundary or gets just the slightest bit too comfy with you, he’s already pressed a kiss to the side of your head and wrapped an arm around your waist and they have to deal with him

but he’ll never get physical about his jealousy, he’s too much of a gentleman for that

there isn’t anything Steve wouldn’t do to protect you though

at the end of the day, all that matters to Steve is making sure that you’re happy and he’s more than happy to do whatever he can to make that happen

anyway, as y’all can see…steve harrington has me in a chokehold😂

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfic #don’t ask me how i managed to write this in less than two hours #what’s important is i’m back in business baby #morgan’s writings📝

[r-osehips]

snooped your tags, so: 12 and 16 for the year end book asks? please and thank you!

YESSSS thank you oh my god

12: Any books that disappointed you?

16: What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

THE FUCKING OVERSTORY. Jesus CHRIST. ok, the descriptions of trees and how they communicate with one another and with the wider ecosystem, those descriptions were beautiful, though sometimes they edged into purple prose. but as soon as this man (author Richard Powers) starts trying to write human beings, it all goes to hell. no one is convincing. every attempt at romance is hamfisted and always heterosexual (except for the two bi women who sordidly had sexual histories with women that they never dared speak of and which the men around them found arousing). the way he describes the character who uses a wheelchair it is some of the most jaw-droppingly ableist language I have read in a modern novel, and also sooo so repetitive and hitting you over the head with the same adjectives every time. and then there's this female character who he has a huge boner for, which, great, i can support that in general, but unforch for him this resulted in weird objectifying language and ridiculous situations, such as, for example, the scene where this girl (who briefly was dead and soaking wet and naked, he described that vividly) -- this girl has been living in a redwood sequoia for months. no shower, no soap, no haircuts, no nothing. she's filthy. and she's, canonically, 200 feet in the air. and this logger who wants to kill the tree, he's shouting up at her and the guy she's with (and they are, i cannot emphasize this enough, 200 feet up). she leans over the railing of the treehouse to yell back at him. he says "WOAH you're GORGEOUS what are you doing up there when you could have any man you wanted!" and she's like "aw ha ha you should see me up close" and it's like. HE CAN'T SEE HER. HE LITERALLY CAN'T SEE HER. YOUR OBSESSION WITH HAVING YOUR MALE PROXIES HIT ON HER AND OBJECTIFY HER HAS LED TO THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR LAST SHREDS OF PLAUSIBILITY. SOOOO FUCKING STUPID in a good book this would have been ENDEARING but no -- no, not here! because this, despite its countless awards and accolades, IS NOT A GOOD FUCKING BOOK. and yet it is so long. and it drags so much. and for what.

(from this prompt list if anyone wants to ask more)

EDITING TO ADD: WAIT. I forgot the thing I ACTUALLY hated the most about it!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is that. ok. so there's a refrain that happens throughout the book where a mysterious voice inside a character's head intones something like the most miraculous beings in 4 billion years of existence need our help. and the characters understand this to mean that the trees need the help of humans, because, like. deforestation. climate change. rampant destruction of forest ecosystems. etc. and that would be very fitting because the whole premise of the book is about the wonder of trees.

BUT NO. it turns out that the voice was THE TREES TALKING ABOUT HUMANS. as in: the trees are saying that WE need THEIR help and they feel soooooooo bad for us and they're simply begging for us to LET THEM SAVE US because it's ALL ABOUT US and the trees only matter because they're important TO US.

and I just think that if you are good at writing trees and shit at writing humans, and you're trying to write a sweeping novel about the glory and genius of nature, and you purport to be critiquing the destructive self-centeredness of much of modern humanity, then maybe you shouldn't undercut your entire fucking narrative by putting humans at the center of the universe. GOD. it's so stupid.

#THANK YOU for asking these ones i had to get that out of my system. my god #asks #tortoisesshells #reading #me

[domoz]

somehow, now i have a lot of tobi/hikaku thoughts? like jesus christ this is halfway to a fic outline so i might as well add it onto my endless list of things to write. so uh:

In the early days of the village Tobirama and Hikaku quickly come to realize that the other is one of the only others around who will just buckle down and Do Their Fucking Job without causing a bunch of unneeded drama. They start to see the other as dependable and even though they have their prejudices they’re both willing to hear the other out on things without immediately starting arguments (unlike Tobi with SOME people). Tobirama maybe even fully admits that he has trouble fully trusting the peace/the Uchiha, but  Hikaku finds that when he takes the time to explain the logic of why the Uchiha do things the way they do.Tobirama is able to accept them and start to move past it. (Hikaku also probably spends a lot of time carefully bringing up Tobirama’s ideas to Madara in a way that makes him think HE thought of them, just so they actually get done). So they work together a lot and end up being like. Office buddies with a pretty big mutual respect, and as time goes on they just become full out friends going out for drinks after work etc etc.

Hikaku slowly becomes a victim of the dangerous+pretty+competent problem Tobirama poses and starts catching feelings. Like he ends up pining and ANNOYED that he’s pining because not only is this not his first time w/ a stupid unrequited crush (Madara and/or Izuna take your pick) he knows that even IF his feelings were returned actually doing anything about them would be a huge political nightmare. He’s got this feeling of maybe being a little inferior -- he’s a good shinobi, sure, but he doesn’t hold a flame to Madara/Izuna/Hashirama/Tobirama when it comes down to it. A lot of his best skills are in like, logistics, not decimating the battlefield (which Tobirama likes quite a lot actually cough cough). He’d have to do something crazy to attract someone like Tobirama’s attention (which during the war was actually a good thing!!)

Tobirama meanwhile is in denial that they are even friends for a while, but I think when he realizes that they are (the catalyst probably being like. Hikaku just does something Nice for him b/c he’s a nice guy. Which no one really does for him! but Hikaku did!) he dives straight from ‘oh we are friends’ to ‘oh i’m kind of in love with him’ and then gets PISSED at himself, because surely he’s not the kind of person who will just fall for the first person who is kind of nice to him?? It takes him a while to work through his feelings. But in the end Hikaku is someone who he respects a great deal which is why that act of kindness mattered so much to him in the first place.

I’ve got no idea how the confession happens. tobirama is probably really straightforward about it (or god, maybe hes like “you’ve always been good at explaining things so riddle me THIS why do i like you so much??” and he is genuinely asking). From there like you could go “they both know they like each other but because the Uchiha as a Whole still hate tobirama there’s nothing they can do it about it and it sucks” (and if this is in a more canon compliant situation. good lord but tobirama as the hokage and hes in love with Hikaku and this is their best chance to do something about it and they STILL can’t) or you could have the Very Funny Scene of Tobirama trying to figure out Uchiha courting customs + what the fuck he has to do to convince Madara to allow him to try them.

(also as a bonus thought. Hikaku developing his mangeko bc of tobirama dying/almost dying thank you for your time)

and FURTHERMORE I also had thoughts about tobirama/hikaku/madara vis a vis tobirama/hikaku ending up in a relationship.

ver 1 is like -- he allows tobirama to court hikaku but he DOES NOT trust itand keeps inserting himself into the entire process, and in the end tobirama and Hikaku are kind of powerless to really stop him? from doing that. Madara is so mad that they’re actually kind of romantic with each other?? But also somehow in the process he ends up endearing himself to tobirama by being cringefail (and Hikaku already liked him on the dl) They end up bringing him into the relationship before he even realizes he wants to be in it.

ver 2 is Tobirama and Hikaku ending up married and like. Domestic and happy much to literally everyone’s surprise. Madara wants that SO BADLY that he keeps going to all the married people he knows just to get a mere hint of it. But Hashirama sees him as a good friend/brother, and Izuna, whatever the hell is going on with him, is his actual brother and doesn’t see much weird with Madara wanting to hang out with him, even if him wanting to hang out with him and his S/O specifically all the time is a little weird.

But Tobirama and Hikaku are Not Related to him and draw very different conclusions about what he wants to get out of spending time with them. I think Tobirama maybe relates to Madara a little more than he wants to here because he, too, was desperate for intimacy before he had it, and Madara must be down BAD if he’s willing to spend time with Tobirama. Which, he is, but I think Madara saw how happy they ended up -- reverse relating to Tobirama bc he saw how Tobirama was before and how he is NOW, and decided ‘they can fix me.’

#i feel like htis is an example oh how my brian will take a passing idea and just not let it go #I JUST WANTED TO DRAW SOME LITTLE SKETCHES NOW THIS ??? #like. for the record. i havent drawn any smut in?? 3??4? years?? #and now i ahve and its for TOBIRAMA AND HIKAKU??? #at least im not alone in this having a fandom w/ more than 2 ppl in it is refreshing okay #naruto blog for naruto things #tobihika #oops! no writing tag

[skeilig]

i recently rewatched breaking bad, or: top 10 walt/jesse scenes that rewired my brain when i was 17 and still make me want to die 9 years later

S02 E04 “Down” — “You never think, you never figured out how to think!” 

Jesse shows up to Walt’s because he has nowhere else to go, looking like the most pathetic man in the world, and Walt, the actual most pathetic man in the world, takes the chance to use him as an emotional punching bag. When Jesse finally snaps and makes the fight physical, he quickly gets the upper hand but he can’t bring himself to actually hurt Walt. Afterward, Walt invites him inside his little suburban home and offers him an apology breakfast. I’m tearing my hair out. 

S02 E05 “Breakage” — “You need me more than I need you, Walt.”

In high school I brought my Breaking Bad DVDs over to my friend’s house and we watched this scene on the projector in her basement and we paused it so we could admire Jesse, huge. This is the only time in the entire series he calls him by his first name. I’m gnashing my teeth. 

S02 E13 “ABQ” — “I loved her”, or: Jesse cries in Walt’s arms (Version 1.0)

Oh lads we’re really in it now. This whole sequence is insane but the Moment is when Walt tentatively pats his head and Jesse tightens his grip around Walt. I need to be sedated.  

S03 E07 “One Minute” — “I am not turning down the money, I am turning down you!” 

God. Okay. It’s the way that Walt just quietly listens as Jesse yells at him, letting him get it out of his system, and all he has to say in return is “your meth is as good as mine” to get him to change his mind 10 minutes later. Jesus Christ. 

S03 E10 “Fly” — Walt tells Jesse he met Jane’s dad

This whole episode could be on this list, but the highlight is Walt’s “I never told you” story about meeting Jane’s dad the night she died. Walt kind of wants to tell Jesse the truth and he obviously carries a lot of guilt about what happened (“I’m sorry about Jane. I mean, I’m very sorry.”) so he does this weird half-confession thing, and the way Jesse stares at him, hanging on every word, trying to make sense of it… It’s insanity. It’s insane. And then of course there’s Jesse lovingly drugging Walt with sleeping pills and tucking him into bed. And taking off his SHOES FOR HIM… Are you fucking KIDDING ME!

S04 E09 “Bug” — Walt and Jesse’s knock-down drag-out fight

So much to love about this scene, from the buildup, to the moment Jesse realizes, but the best part is when Walt, thinking they’ve both gotten a few good hits in and that the fight is over, tries to stand up, only for Jesse to drag him down and beat the shit out of him. Then of course, the most cheer-worthy line of the entire series: “Can you walk? Then get the fuck out of here and never come back.” 

S04 E12 “End Times” — Walt gaslights Jesse on expert level difficulty 

The thing that really gets me about this scene, above all else, is how Walt leaves his gun out on a pillow and turns his back to Jesse, letting him take it. Knowing he’s going to take it. Walt is so confident in his ability to manipulate Jesse that he lets him hold a gun to his head, knowing he could never actually kill him. I’ll kill you myself, Walter. 

S05 E02 “Madrigal” — Jesse apologizes to Walt for trying to kill him

Walt really thinks he’s doing a kindness to Jesse here, by relieving him of his guilt and anxiety and helping him “find” the “ricin cigarette.” He’s completely shocked when Jesse breaks down in tears, and tries to brush off the apology. It’s totally fine you tried to kill me, Jesse, let’s just move on… Why are you so hung up on that? 

S05 E07 “Say My Name” — Walt’s greatest hits of abuse tactics

This six minute scene has everything: Walt taunting Jesse for having no one in his life (a couple episodes after manipulating him into dumping his girlfriend, of course), implying he’ll start using again if he cuts ties with him, mocking Jesse’s vulnerable invitation to go-kart together last season, listing off everyone they’ve killed (“Gale… and the rest”), and taunting Jesse for his moral objections. This scene is incredibly frustrating but the silver lining is that Jesse doesn’t get sucked in and try to argue back: he just walks away, leaving Walt alone, angrily yelling his name. LOL. 

S05 E11 “Confessions” — “Will you stop working me?” or: Jesse cries in Walt’s arms (Version 2.0)

I’m at my motherfucking limit. Jesse sees through Walt’s shit at this point, having never bought his lies about Mike for a second, and he’s just begging Walt to be honest with him once. Just ask me to do you a favor, and I’ll do it. Stop trying to frame it as what’s best for ME. If Walt had engaged in the argument, Jesse probably could’ve stood stronger against it, but he still gives into the offer of emotional comfort. It’s so “you’re my number one boy” coded I feel SICK.

#i wrote this when i finished rewatching breaking bad and.. never posted it here :-) #hi #breaking bad

[freakinamask]

Look I too love the fanfiction webbed site but uh.

A) There is genuinely no sequence of events I can imagine where AO3, somewhere that hosts niche content for a niche internet subculture is going to be the, idk the first and foremost battleground of the great online culture war or whatever. Especially if you think this was Russia or Sudan. Two countries that have actual wars going in in real life, they have better things to do.

B) No hate group is going to refer to the content on AO3 as 'LGBTQ+' I invite you to consider the language they'd probably use instead. No far right hate group is going to use 'smuts' either

C) AO3 managed to fix this in about 2 days, with volunteers, I don't know a huge amount about hacking but to me this implies that a DDOS attack is not an expert and unbeatable strategy that could only have come from a sophisitcated government backed group.

D) I cannot stress enough how much fundamentalist religious extremists do not care about fanfiction. This is so so far down anyones list of priorities outside of incredibly niche online communities.

E) They asked for a 300000 bitcoin ransom, so either the russian government is really hard up for cash and has to shake down nonprofit fic sites or these extremely hardcore anti LGBTQ+ hate groups are perhaps, not as commited to the ideology as they want you to think.

F) Guys, guys, this was about money, AO3 doesn't have the DDOS protections bigger more ad driven sites have so they went for them because they wanted money. No-one of coming for your destiel fics jesus christ.

In conclusion

#ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 ddos #fanfic #I too am a cringe fanfic reader #but come on guys #get some perspective

[rbvcdeluxe]

pinned post or smth

Realized that i don’t have an intro apparently smh so here it is ig 🎉

So, my name is Robert Bartolomeo, I go by he/him, I'm Mexican, transgender anddd autistic (w ADHD). This is mainly a Starkid and TBC blog with the occasional mention of some other interests.

more under the cut !!

Here's a list of some of my other interest because (not in any particular order)

Splatoon

Vincent Van Gogh's history

Frida Kahlo's history

Musical comedians (Bo Burnham, Tim Minchin and others)

Jesus Christ Superstar

Other musicals

The Good Place

i am very autistic about my interests btw

i have some tags i would explain but i’m actually too lazy to do that so yeah. they’re pretty basic tho so no huge deal.

i may edit this later to add more thank yeeew

[olderthannetfic]

hii... you seem like a fandom Old and highly familiar with ao3, so i have a question. my friends and i are maintaining a fairly large collection on ao3 for a diverse but set group of fandoms. is there any way to write a program or something that 1) maintains a list of fandoms bookmarked into a collection, 2) routinely checks for new works under those fandoms, and 3) sends a list of those works for human review? i'm not sure how one would approach this, but it would save some very lovely people a lot of manual work. if you do not know how to answer this but could connect me with some folks who can, that would also be hugely appreciated.

xox and thank you!

--

I should really learn to code because I have many projects it would be useful for. But broadly, yes, I am confident that a person could write something that would do this. There are lots of perl python (jesus christ, self) scripts for scraping AO3, and this is just a specific set of scraping commands.

I have no doubt some passersby can fill in actual technical detail.

[missmartin]

His biggest fan fr

Joe Cooper x Black!Reader

Based on a dream I had last night/You go to see Coop’s garage Baseketball game and the chemicals in your brain go off.

To be honest, you never really cared for sports. Never liked them, never could even list them. Not to mention in recent years they have completely gone out of style. To be honest, all sports celebrities were definitely sell outs they were kinda famous for it too.

“Girl you gotta come see this!” Your friend says waking into the room, interrupting whatever focus you had on the book you needed to study with. “See what” they sit next to you “listen there’s some real dopes down the block! The whole building went to see!”

Dopes? Does the bitch mean crackheads? “sorry I don’t like watching crackheads fight” you decline they roll their eyes and sigh “no not crackheads! These crazy mother fuckers.. they playing some sorta game!” What the hell were they talking about.

“What game? Is it freaky” you ask “no! It’s some dumb sport but they say crazy shit like…” they tap there chin trying to think of an example. Not like you needed one… you were willing to give it a try! “I’m hooked” “what?” “Can’t be bad if your going”

You were wrong… and right I guess. It wasn’t bad, but you didn’t need your friend there, because the world seemed to stop when you laid eyes on him. Joe Cooper? Or whatever… He was just amazing… white boy majestical amazing…

I mean he looked like an angel and with blue eyes like those would wouldn’t mind getting scared from time to time. Even that blonde hair looked real. He was just such a cutie. The cutest boy ever. And oh lord did you think about wanting him… Jesus christ maybe you even needed him. He got you acting all out of proportion.

“Oooh like what you see?” You friend says concern dripped in there voice “what? Oh yeah… maybe” you tilt your head and smile, you must’ve had a lovey dumby look on your face. “I can’t take you anywhere” they scoff “uh… dare me to talk to him?” “Oh hell yes.”

With an excuse on your belt of delusion, you had no choice but to talk to him. Can’t be to bad he just makes your stomach flutter a bit while you make your way too approach him. Oh yeah… what if you say something embarrassing? What if thinks your gross? It’s always the guys with the blue eyes honestly.

As you push through the crowd he and two other characters seep into your limelight, seemingly celebrating their win. “Oh…welcome” a boy with curly hair turns to you. Seems like you stepped in the red line of all they could see “um… thank you” you clasp your hands… he made you nervous, I mean when have you even seen a white man with an Afro?

A tiny tiny man opens his mouth and approach’s you as well .. although only to be pushed back by the curly haired one… you didn’t really catch both of their poor names. “Need anything? I’ll sign anything, anything for a fan” the tall one offers “actually I’m here to see him” you hold your hand out to point to Cooper. “Me?” He looks back

“Uh… I think you were great out there!” You lied, not really he looked great out there other than that you had no idea what the fuck he was doing. In your defense the hair was distracting! “Me..? Uh I mean thank you” he smiles awkwardly and crosses his arms

He look to the side for the second the little man gets dragged away by the other one and then look back up at Joe. “I also think you are really cute too like… for a guy I mean” you confess nodding softly. No need to hide it right? (What else were you supposed to compliment on) “I’m a huge fan”

“U-uh…” he stutters looking away scratching his neck a little “cute you think so?” He asks “oh I know for sure” you move your hand around “I mean look at you, your like a total cutie!” He better believe that too, I mean look at what he’s got you saying!

“Wow um…” he gulps a bit “I think your good looking too” you tilt your head forward your jaw slacking a bit “really?” Your eyes widen “it’s not everyday a cute girl co-comes up to me you know” huh? What! Are you seriously winning right now? Winning at life? This sweet ass jock is totally into you too right now!

“Your think I’m good looking?” You question putting your hand on your chest he nods and shrugs. “I think so yeah…. I can give you my number?”

“I’d like that.”

#very shallow I know <3 #joe cooper x reader #Joe Cooper x you #Joe Cooper x Fem Reader #baseketball x reader #for the sistas #x black fem reader

[overobsessedfanboy23]

My Opinions on Every VRAINS Ship

Well, every VRAINS ship that has an official ship name here on Tumblr, plus three bonus ships at the end that don’t have names but I’m familiar enough with to talk about. Gonna go in alphabetical order by their ship names because that’s the easiest and most unbiased way to do it. Gonna be rating them on a scale from: NO, not my thing, funny or cute idea, like, and love.

Because fair warning, I really don’t like some of these ships.

Abyssalshipping (Ai x Aqua)

NO. The one thing I dislike about Manjome in GX is his weird, sometimes creepy crush on Asuka and… yeah, it’s the same thing here. Not nearly as bad, as it’s less focused on and Ai doesn’t try to make her be with him or anything, but still, really weird and unappealing ship. I much prefer them platonically, which is what they are in Flame of Life.

Aiballshipping (Ai x Yusaku)

This is my OTP of VRAINS, and probably in all of Yugioh if I’m being honest with myself. I love their dynamic, their back and forths, all the build up and little moments throughout the series leading up to that gut punch of a finale. Their relationship is also the one thing keeping the VRAINS storyline of Duel Links afloat for me don’t @ me.

Algorithmshipping (Kengo x Shoichi)

Honestly, I had never heard of this ship before I read the list so I have no real opinion on it. Not really sure how it would work but I don’t mind its existence I suppose.

Altarshipping (Aoi x Ema)

NO. I always saw Ema as more of an older sister figure to Aoi, emphasis on “older” because Aoi is a minor and Ema… never had her age confirmed to my knowledge but watching the show, I always interpreted her as in her twenties. Early twenties sure, but too old to be with a minor.

Almondshipping (Aoi x Miyu x Yusaku)

Each of these individual ships are coming up and I have wildly different opinions on each of them so for now I’ll say I’m indifferent to this specific throupple, but throupples in general are nice to have.

Angelmakershipping (Aoi x Yusaku)

No. Out of all the ships here that aren’t like… illegal or messed up on this list, this is the one I hate the most. Because it feels so obligatory. Like in the blissful days before the god awful VRAINS dub, it was only a ship because “he was a boy she was a girl can I make it any more obvious” when they don’t have that kind of relationship at all. I think it’s actually novel and really nice that despite some pointless teasing early on, they were only ever friends and Aoi had a character arc and development completely separate from Yusaku. I feel like making their relationship romantic would’ve just ruined that. It’s not my bias to Aiball, trust me, I ship both Yusaku and Ai with other characters as well (as you’ll see coming up). This ship just really rubs me the wrong way, especially because the dub warped the text of the show to push this ship more, which coupled with their gay erasure, comes off as gross to me.

Blueghostshipping (Aoi x Spectre) NO. Even harder NO than the last one, jesus christ. Spectre is a huge creep to her, psychoanalysing her out of nowhere, manipulating her, and then beating her to death… in a card game but that’s basically assault in the YGO universe.

Blackholeshipping (Jin x Ryoken)

Really random (with only one canon interaction that is not good) but I honestly really like this ship. It has some really fun content here on Tumblr and the way I personally characterise Jin is this really cheerful upbeat person, who isn’t fazed by others’ rudeness. So Ryoken’s bluntness wouldn’t faze them at all. I just really like the whole “the sunshine one lifts up the grumpy one” trope and this ship, and really any Jin ship for that matter, is that dynamic to me. Plus I love Ryoken so putting him in that dynamic is really fun.

Braveangelshipping (Aoi x Shima)

No. I don’t have a strong take on this one like I do some of the other no’s, it’s just… no. He certainly has a crush on her, but I can’t see her ever requiting.

Bulletstormshipping (Ryoken x Windy)

Okay so this one’s tricky. I enjoy shipping Ryoken with Ignis and I really love both of these characters. There’s also pretty good content for this ship out there. But… the way I characterise purple eyes Windy (aka: Windy’s true personality) is really sensitive and kind of clingy, and he would be especially emotionally vulnerable after finding out that after his data was rewritten, he killed his origin. And blunt Ignis racist Ryoken would not be a good match for that. This is why the only WindRyo piece I’ve written is set at a point where they’re far into their relationship for the record. Ryoken taking in Windy as his partner (in the Ignis way but potentially the human way eventually) is a very cute potentially funny concept as long as one or both of these sides of them are scaled back. So while I like this ship, it’s not one I can see myself writing much.

Canineshipping (Akira x Kengo)

Like the ship name, don’t care for anything else about it. Okay come to think of it, maybe I just don’t care much about Kengo, because his ships are the only ones I’ve had virtually no opinion on so far…

Cauterizeshipping (Flame x Takeru x Ryoken)

My most recent currently ongoing fanfic, Flame of Life, is about this throupple. I love every individual ship in it, and I love the dynamic the three of them have. (Especially Flame and Takeru teasing the hell out of Ryoken, last week’s chapter was probably my favourite to write in the whole fic.) This is my favourite polyship in Yugioh, by a landslide. It doesn’t have any basis in canon, but the potential was enough to suck me in and write my own narrative for them that I’m really in love with.

Celebshipping (Go Onizuka x Yusaku)

I don’t really like Go Onizuka because he’s a different person every time we see him so it’s hard to get invested in him but this ship is fine. Go is a bit old for him but three years isn’t as bad as some of the other ships’ age gaps. It is a ship that exists I suppose.

Charismashipping (Aoi x Go Onizuka)

Same as above. This is indeed a ship that exists.

Chatshipping (Shima x Yusaku)

Similar to Braveangel, I think Shima has a crush on Playmaker, but I can’t see Yusaku ever requiting that, especially since he canonically finds Shima stupid and annoying. So no.

Chesspieceshipping (Go Onizuka x Queen)

No. She was willing to let him die with that AI chip implant stunt. Also, I don’t like either of them, but I hate Queen far more.

Cobrashipping (Go Onizuka x Ryoken)

I love Ryoken and am not attached to mister Go so this ship is not my thing. Their duel was pretty good though.

Coexistshipping (Ai x Pandor)

Uuuuuuuuuuh.

I mean, I see Ai as gay (or attracted to men I guess) but if I had to ship him with a girl, Pandor is probably the best option? So I don’t ship it but it’s fine. It’s harmless.

Conduitshipping (Akira x Ema x Shoichi)

No. I’ll elaborate on why in the Ema/Shoichi section.

Crystalheartshipping (Aqua x Earth)

Finally another ship I like. Earth’s crush on Aqua was cute, as much as I make fun of the whole “pushing Aqua off the hoverboard” thing. Still, it’s cute. Basic, but cute.

Cybersedragonshipping (Firewall Dragon x Topologic Bomber Dragon)

I have no idea why this is a ship, but I’m glad it is because it’s really funny. I don’t like Datastorm, but I can get behind this.

Darkcrystalshipping (Ai x Aqua x Earth)

Normally, I would say/joke that the best solution to a love triangle is polyamory but in this case… Aqua does not like Ai, and I do not like that ship. So I don’t care for this one.

Darkfireshipping (Ai x Flame)

Meh. I only ever saw this as platonic but it’s perfectly harmless. Would make a funny enemies to lovers fic honestly.

Datastormshipping (Yusaku x Ryoken)

I never saw the appeal of this one. I still don’t get why Yusaku was so desperate to reform/reach out to Ryoken after Ryoken said to his face that he regretted saving his life and the fact that this ship is just… everywhere and often characterises these two in ways I don’t personally agree with makes me really not care for it. I don’t hate it like I hate some of these other ships but I do feel nothing toward it. So it’s a no.

Daybreakshipping (Yusaku x Jin)

Nah. I always think of these two as siblings so I can’t see a romantic relationship between them.

Any Haru ship

I have this opinion for every ship involving Haru: I know he’s an AI, but he looks and acts like a little kid so I don’t feel comfortable shipping him with any of the teens or adults. So all of his ships are a no.

Dischargeshipping (Jin x Lightning)

This one’s weird for me. I really ship my version of it in Blissful Ignorance: where Lightning isn’t a human hating serial killer that tortures children, they’re just kind of a jerk and Jin has no memory of them so their dynamic is essentially a “tsundere/deredere” and “the cheerful one lifts up the grumpy one” dynamic and also Jin is getting revenge without either of them realising it. And that’s how I like the ship. Other renditions of the ship… vary because the canon foundation is just awful and fucked up. So this ship is a yes in very specific circumstances.

Disastershipping (Ryoken x Takeru x Yusaku)

Really funny name and throupples are fun but I really only care for one of the pairings in this set romantically so it’s not my thing.

Elfinshipping (Ema x Hayami)

I hate Hayami so no. Ema is a lesbian probably, but Ema also deserves better.

Embershipping (Ryoken x Flame)

My favourite Ryoken/Ignis ship. Not really for anything canon (although I do like the scene where Flame tells Takeru that it’s possible Ryoken was trying to apologise to him) by throwing their duel but because of how I wrote in my story, Flame of Life. It’s just both precious and hilarious.

Emissaryshipping (Yusaku x Playmaker)

…what? No.

Entrustshipping (Takeru x Kiku)

Confession time: the first time I watched VRAINS, I thought Takeru and Kiku were brother and sister. Now that I know they’re not, I just find it really odd that Takeru asked this random friend of his to look after his grandparents while he fucked off to another city with no indication he intended to ever return until the very end of the series when he’d already been gone for a long time. Maybe Kiku was just his only friend at the time, the only person he could trust with something as big as this, which… sure, okay. But still, not telling her he intended to return and just taking off like that? That’s weird.

So I never really got into this ship. It feels like another obligatory “he was a boy she was a girl,” though I don’t vehemently hate this ship like I do Yusaku/Aoi. So it’s… fine. It’s a ship that exists.

Extinguishshipping (Flame x Windy)

Again, I really like these two platonically, and I can see where the ship comes from, but I don’t quite see it romantically.

Fireballshipping (Flame x Takeru)

Yeeees, love these little beans. I’ve always loved their canon dynamic and I always love reading fics about them. I love that Flame supports him but also isn’t above roasting him.

Firestormshipping (Takeru x Yusaku)

…yeah, I never got into this one. I honestly expected to ship it more than I did, but I vastly prefer it platonically than romantically. Nothing wrong with the ship, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Gateshipping (Ema x Ryoken)

No. She seems a little too old for him. I know Ryoken is 18 but that still seems too young to be dating someone who’s seemingly in her mid twenties.

Hireshipping (Ema x Akira)

I mean… I admittedly shipped this a bit on my first viewing, despite my meme about Ema being a lesbian. But like… I can kinda see this ship and her being bi instead. So, this is a very light “I ship it” but… yeah, I kinda do.

Hotdogshipping (Yusaku x Shoichi)

No. They’re stupidly far apart in age (with Yusaku also being a minor) and I always interpreted their relationship as more of a brotherly one.

Hydrogenshipping (Lightning x Aqua)

Absolutely freaking not, I might like Lightning as a character but Aqua deserves way better than them!

Ignisshipping (Ai x Aqua x Earth x Flame x Lightning x Windy)

…okay, I don’t particularly ship any pair in this romantically (besides Aqua/Earth) but I’m gonna say I ship it out of the humour and chaos factors alone. This is hilarious.

Infectshipping (Aso x Kyoko)

Yeah sure. I get behind this. I can especially get behind these two being a couple and also acting like parental or older sibling figures to Ryoken. That’s cute.

Lieutenantshipping (Aso x Genome x Kyoko)

I don’t like Genome. This ship is better without him.

Manipulateshipping (Ema x Kengo)

HARD NO. THEY ARE SIBLINGS.

Yes, half siblings, but they’re still related by blood and know they’re siblings. If this ship came about before it was revealed they were siblings, then I get it, but they’re siblings now so this ship is a hard no for me.

Mascotshipping (Ai x Shoichi)

Nah. Although the reason behind the name is funny.

Monkeyshipping (Ryoken x Shima)

Again, really funny ship name but I don’t particularly ship it. I wouldn’t be adverse to reading about it though. I have plenty of ships that revolve around the concept of annoying the shit out of Ryoken and honestly? The more the merrier. It’s what he deserves.

Monopolyshipping (Poly SOL executives)

…okay this is the best ship name out of all of them. It’s funny as shit but also legitimately clever. I’m won over to it by that fact alone… even though I don’t know exactly what the ship entails XD

Moonlightshipping (Miyu x Yusaku)

Wow. What a pretty ship name for a ship I give absolutely no shits about. I’d take it over Yusaku/Aoi, mostly because I can imagine Miyu’s adult personality to be whatever I want it to be (which for me is very positive and extroverted, so a good contrast to Yusaku’s introverted pessimism) so I can see them having actual chemistry beyond friendship. Plus Aoi and Ai acting as wingmen to Miyu and Yusaku respectively is a really cute idea, especially if it’s with the intent of inducing them into a polycule.

…actually you know what? I take it back, I can actually get behind this ship. It’s obviously not one of my favourites or anything, but I could see it being potentially cute.

Motherearthshipping (Earth x Spectre)

Yeah, I ship it. Spectre needs someone in his life he can feel close to who doesn’t have power over him in some way. Uh… spoilers for a later take I guess. This ship is good though.

Pathwayshipping (Ema x Shoichi)

No. I’m pretty sure the only reason this is a ship is because of that dub exclusive scene where Kusanagi… really crosses the customer service line and flirts with one of his customers. Gross. No. Bad.

Patronshipping (Ryoken x Shoichi)

Speaking of shipping Kusanagi with his customers! Yeah, I don’t like this one either. I’m sorry, the art is really pretty and some of the concepts are neat but Kusanagi is waaay too old for him. An 8 year age gap might not be a big deal for people who are 30 and 38 or something but Ryoken is 18 and Kusanagi is 26. You can argue Ryoken acts older but within the show, it is plot relevant that he is around the same age as the lost incident kids, one of which is Kusanagi’s little brother. Ryoken is closer in age to Jin than Kusanagi, who is also a lot older than Jin. So it’s uncomfortable.

Perennialshipping (Aoi x Kiku)

Huh. I didn’t know Kiku was shipped with anyone other than Takeru to be honest. Blue Maiden and Swift Storm should duel. Maybe date I dunno. Cute idea.

Phoenixshipping (Aoi x Takeru)

Okay, super dope ship name, don’t really care for the ship itself. Though that being said, out of the “Superhero” throupple (which I’ll get to) this is probably the pairing I can most understand. Takeru’s fanboying over and admiration for Blue Girl could easily turn into a crush and post canon they could comfort each other over the losses of their Ignis. And maybe bond over them if they ever got them back. I like that better platonically since I prefer other ships, but I can understand this ship.

Pistolshipping (Kengo x Ryoken)

Great ship name but like Kusanagi/Ryoken, Kengo is too old for him. Actually, I think it’s even worse in Kengo’s case because he’s quite a bit older than Ema, who’s also too old for Ryoken, something we learned was the case before these two even met. I’m sorry but a character being “legally of age” does not make large age gaps like these less uncomfortable for me.

Piushipping (Ai x Ryoken)

Ha. And I thought TakeRyo was a hate ship before this ship made its way into my life. I just think that the funniest way for Ai to get his revenge on the Ignis hating dirtbag would be for Ryoken to catch feels for him. Especially if Ai… well, I want to keep this post SFW so let’s just say that while I do ship this, it’s mostly for the memes and *clears throat* NSFW reasons.

Poltergeistshipping (Ema x Yusaku)

No. She’s too old for him. Moving on.

Proveshipping (Aoi x Akira)

No. That’s incest and has a stupidly large age gap of ten years, not to mention he sort of raised her. That’s gross. Moving on.

Rainwatershipping (Aoi x Aqua x Miyu)

Yes! Water throupple! The two water ladies should absolutely have shared custody of the sweet water bean!

Respectfulshipping (Spectre x Ryoken)

I am so sorry, MerryFortune, I love your work, but uh… Ryokie here has too much power over Spectre and recently (while writing Flame of Life especially), I’ve been thinking of these two like siblings. I’m not gonna cry incest or anything, as that’s just my interpretation of their relationship but that and the power imbalance make it really hard for me to see this as a romantic pair like I once did.

Yeah about that… this is actually the only Yugioh ship I’ve ever fallen out of love with. I shipped it when I first watched late season 2, as I disliked both of them at the time and those episodes made me take notice of the fact that despite everything, Spectre and Ryoken actually cared about each other, which I thought was really cute. And I still do, it just… doesn’t work romantically for me. I’d take it over Datastorm though.

Recoilshipping (Takeru x Ryoken)

Damn. Going right from my first Ryoken ship to the one I dropped that ship for. Well, okay, it’s not that simple, but I did start getting into TakeRyo around the time that SpecRyo began falling from grace in my mind. So TakeRyo is like the foundation of what I want out of a Ryoken ship: someone who’s his opposite, who’s willing to call him out on his BS, and be forward enough to annoy/fluster him. Well, in my writing at least, Ryoken was the more forward one at first, and for this particular ship, both work for me but yes I do have a preference for Takeru being the more forward/confident one, at least when they actually start dating. So yeah anyways I ship it. I like how they went from hating each other to being actually kinda okay with each other by the end of the series and damn is their second duel one of my favourites in the whole series.

Roboaishipping (Ai x Roboppi)

No. The jokes about them uh… being intimate in early season 1 feels like early series weirdness with their relationship in season 2 and especially season 3 shifting to more of a brotherly bond. And unlike SpecRyo, that is actually canon: at least to an extent, Roboppi calls Ai “big bro” and just generally looks up to him like an older brother. Even if they aren’t blood related, that is still the relationship they have so I can’t bring myself to ship it. Plus like Haru, Roboppi is baby, he is my son, I can’t ship him with someone who’s far more mature and just older seeming!

Wait a minute… Haru and Roboppi… Haru and… Roboppi… okay, new ship. Haru/Roboppi, Robobroshipping, named so for them both being robots with older brother figures, who’s with me? :D

Rockdustshipping (Earth x Ryoken x Spectre)

Merry, is this ship name your handiwork? :) I know you ship it and as much as I don’t like SpecRyo, I can actually kind of get behind this. Because shipping Ryoken with Ignis is a fun pastime plus EarthSpec and polyamory are certified bangers.

…I just realised it might have been important to note that I’m polyamorous earlier in this post.

Royalghostshipping (Queen x Ema)

No. Ema deserves better. I don’t ship her with Hayami either but even that would be better. Although the most ideal outcome from this set of characters would be the two mean girls getting together and creating the most toxic workplace on earth… okay I probably shouldn’t have described that as ideal. Oops.

Safeshipping (Akira x Shoichi)

Uuuuuuuuugh. Soft nah on this one. There’s nothing wrong with it, I just don’t see the appeal.

Saviorshipping (Ryoken x Spectre x Yusaku)

I don’t like either of these two with Ryoken because he has too much power over both of them, Spectre more so but Ryoken/Yusaku also has the problem of Yusaku putting Ryoken up on a pedestal, just to a lesser degree. And, it’s an issue that would probably be exacerbated by putting the three of them together. So this ship is a no from me.

Scytheshipping (Ema x Kyoko)

Yay! A decent lady for Ema! I ship it!

Yeah, she was a cyber terrorist I guess but she eventually did the right thing :)

Stauroliteshipping (Earth x Aoi)

I am confused why this is a ship (because Aoi took in Aqua maybe?) Cool ship name though, really creative.

Subservientshipping (Jin x Spectre)

Back when I disliked Spectre I hated this ship. Now I’m pretty neutral to it. I can’t think of a particular reason to dislike it but I can’t say I care for it either.

Superheroshipping (Aoi x Takeru x Yusaku)

I love these three as a group of platonic friends. These three plus Ai, Ryoken, and Miyu are pretty much a clique in my VRAINS long fics but I don’t particularly care for it being romantic.

Teardropshipping (Aoi x Aqua)

I mean as you could probably tell from my cheers of “water throupple! :D” earlier, I ship this. I think it’s cute how Aoi took her in and how supportive Aqua was of her in their duels. I wish we could’ve seen more of them together. Duel Links, I’m still pissed at you for fucking up Revolver so badly, but make this happen!

Tornadoshipping (Windy x Lightning)

No. Lightning is so bad at making friends they have to either create them or brainwash them. Sweet lil Wimdy would never have gone along with Lightning’s plans if not for them brainwashing him! Which is 100% canon, rewatch Lightning vs Revolver, they explicitly say this.

But yeah anyways my point is Windy deserves better.

Trickmirrorshipping (Ryoken x Aoi)

Eeeeeeeeh. Ryoken did try to kill her back when he was evil, but I ship pairings who’ve done far worse to each other. And having another character on team Ignis punching Revolver in the face with their lips is always a good thing…

Wait, am I only considering this because I ship Ryoken/Aqua?

Okay, well, uh, I’d never write this (because I see Ryoken as a gay man who only initially made an exception for Aqua cuz tentacles) but this is honestly a decent ship. Like, if I was tasked with shipping Ryoken with a girl, and it had to be a ship with an official name, this would be my pick.

Vaporshipping (Flame x Aqua)

Meh. They get along pretty well so I can understand where this came from. Not my thing though.

Vestashipping (Ema x Flame)

I’m not surprised this ship exists since they’ve canonically flirted. But uh. No.

Wildfireshipping (Takeru x Spectre)

This seems like it would be very messy. Could work I suppose, though it’s not a ship I’m all that drawn to.

Wisteriashipping (Yusaku x Spectre)

One of my newest ships. I got into this one while straight up searching for characters to ship Spectre with and out of the human pairings, this one stuck out to me the most. So I read a fic about it and… yeah I really like it. I’m very into opposites attract narratives if you can’t tell and these two had the exact opposite reaction to the Lost Incident. Interesting drama :)

Zinniashipping (Aoi x Miyu)

More flowers. Guess these two are water girls and flower girls. Maybe they’re mermaids? :D Anyways, Aoi/Miyu is a yes. They were the tertiary ship in The Lost is Found (even in the bonus chapters) and are featured again and Flame of Life so I think that was obvious. Maybe childhood friends to lovers is also just a favourite trope of mine because I started shipping it pretty much as soon as it was introduced. Maybe it’s the Lion King fan in me.

Okay, bonus ship time! Disclaimer: these are all Ryoken ships, he’s probably my most shipped character in anything.

First off, Ryoken/Miyu. Aka: a rarepair I respect enough to not steal its name, Watergunshipping, after I realised it was being unofficially used for them. Like Ryoken/Aoi, it’s not my thing at all due to my preferences/headcanons but like if people wanna make it an official ship I’d vote in the polls for its name.

Next, Ryoken/Lightning. I suggested a ship name for them but it was generic and I didn’t care enough about this pairing to come up with a new name or push any harder for it to have an official name. Because the only reason I wrote about it was to complete a set, it is not a functioning pairing in the slightest for many reasons. They cannot stand each other. And between the two of them, I actually root for Ryoken more than Lightning so the concept of Lightning getting revenge isn’t even particularly appealing.

Finally, Ryoken/Aqua. My one true exception to Ryoken being exclusively into men. Came for her tentacles, stayed for her cute, beautiful, wonderful soul- I have a crush on Aqua, I admit it. But also pairing the lying gruff tsundere disaster man with the sweet gentle living lie detector Ignis is just a hilarious idea to me. Some of the other Ignis might openly flirt with and try to seduce him, Aqua would just exist around him and watch with a smile as he falls further in love. This is probably the reason I’m a little more okay with Ryoken/Aoi and Ryoken/Miyu. I don’t ship either of them but if he’s with them, Aqua will be close by. Neeheehee :)

#yugioh #ygo #yugioh vrains #ygo vrains #vrains #anti shipping #shipping

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Not One of Many - Chapter Twenty Seven.

Thanks to those still showing interest and interactions on this, but lamentably as of now the story is on hold as I need to finish it, and I’m just not feeling motivated to write at the moment. I’ve had too many knocks, too much take, take, take from readers and not enough feedback (but I do see those who have remained loyal in that respect. I see you and appreciate you hugely) which has resulted in me basically losing my creative drive. 

I did always say this would happen... content creators do warn people that lack of interaction causes us to lose our love of writing, so here I am now, living proof of that. The only people who should feel bad about that are those who don’t bother interacting, because it’s your fault. I’m not mincing my words or being gracious in the face of it any longer. Selfishness can only be tolerated for so long, and I’ve really had my fill of it. 

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty  Twenty One  Twenty Two  Twenty Three  Twenty Four  Twenty Five  Twenty Six

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 3,358

Warnings - 18+ content, adult audience only. Minors DNI!

“She sprayed his car? Jesus Christ, I bet he was bloody livid!”  

Shaking her head, Amira looked a picture of shocked, she and Mimi being brought up to speed on Talia’s most recent antics, Beth deciding to take up her offer for the three of them to meet up. It had been a relaxing day, her most recent articles finished and submitted, the housekeeper cleaning in preparation for her parents, grandmother and Alfie’s mum to visit them for dinner later that evening, and the man himself currently with Steve, playing a few games of squash.

“Oh, he most certainly was. He got it fixed the day after, but that isn’t the point,” Beth began, Mimi quick to pipe up.

“It’s that she’s continuing to do it in the first place, and as yet, you can’t even prove any of it is coming from her!”

“Thus nixing your plan to file a restraining order,” Amira sighed. “I suppose in that way, she actually is quite clever, because she knows you’ll need proof of identity to facilitate such. Can’t file a restraining order without concrete evidence detailing the person whom you wish to restrain”

“You seem very up on all of this, miss legal mind?” Mimi questioned, Amira’s eyes widening.

“When I was eighteen, I had a stalker, too. Some guy who’d seen my pictures in the lad’s mags and took a bit too much of a shine to me. It was easy for me, though, because he wasn’t threatening me. He just followed me everywhere I went as soon as he’d managed to find out where I lived. He was a right creep, but it meant I could take photographs and keep a diary of whenever I spotted him. It was plentiful evidence in keeping him away from me once I got in touch with the police.”  

“Gosh, I didn’t realise that. It’s spooky, though, isn’t it? When you know you’re being followed,” Beth empathised, Amira nodding knowingly. “I mean, she could be watching me right now, for all I know.”

She was then entertained greatly by Amira’s defiance, holding up both middle fingers and waving her arms around, muttering ‘bugger off, you bitch!’ as she did it. She laughed at herself, placing her hand atop Beth’s. “You seem to not be letting it rattle you, though, and that’s good!”

Beth smiled, stroking the side of her finger with her thumb before lifting her coffee cup to her lips again, giving the burning hot cappuccino a cautionary blow. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t, but I’m trying not to let it get me down too much. I have enough on my mind as it is, I’m meeting Alfie’s mum for the first time tonight, and he my parents and nan as well.”

Amira’s eyebrows rose significantly. “Not cooking, are you? Sarra will be all over you like a rash!”

Beth laughed immediately. “Yes, Alfie told me all about the roast dinner fiasco, and the half a bottle of vodka that followed it, so no, we have caterers coming in.”

She shook her head, her and Mimi exchanging knowing laughter, remembering it well. “Mimi had only just moved in at the time as well, Sarra giving her the once over and huffing ‘another bloody shiksa, Alf?’ at him before coming to bother me and my roast lamb.”  

Mimi threw her head back, clapping with entertainment. “I’m laughing now, but she was scary!” she then corrected herself quickly, realising it was probably not what Beth wanted to hear. “I mean, she is a lovely lady, very quiet and polite, but she has this fierceness beneath her exterior, a bit like Alfie, except she doesn’t really blow her stack as monumentally as her son can.”

“Nah, Mims is right. Sarra is nice. She’ll adore you the second she finds out you’re Jewish, so you have that going for you. Oh and don’t wear anything too low cut, because she will comment on your boobs. Or lack of them, as the case was with me.” She snorted into her hand, whacking Mimi on the thigh when she began to giggle loudly. “It wasn’t funny!”

“Then why are you pissing yourself?” she cried, slapping her in return. “Oh, I wish I could have been there to see it! She told Amira that she had boobies like two aspirin on an ironing board!”  

Beth gasped, her eyes widening. “That’s a bit personal!”

Amira leaned closer, raising an elegantly shaped eyebrow. “The more Chablis she drinks, the looser her tongue gets.”  

“But overall, a nice lady, right?” Beth quipped, cocking her head slightly to the side, her face escalating the girl’s laughter. They reassured her that she was, but did have her little quirks about her. Alfie had confirmed such, mentioning in the past that she was a very relaxed woman, but sometimes, did make the odd sassy comment. Either way, Beth knew she’d be nervous regardless, finishing her coffee morning with the girls and then heading for a massage, meeting Oliver for lunch before she arrived home, finding a glorious sight asleep on the sofa, a freshly showered Alfie, dressed in just a low-slung pair of black sweats.  

“Well, ain’t that a nice wake up?” he murmured sleepily, feeling Beth circling one of his nipples with her tongue, her fingers tickling over his abs.  

She grinned, kissing her way to his mouth. “Give me a few minutes and it’ll be even nicer.”

His mouth tilted up, chuckling. “Oh?”

“Mmm.” Her confirmation preceded a scorching kiss, her hand grasping his hardening cock, massaging his shaft through the confines of cloth. “There it is, just what I was looking for.” she purred, her mouth hungry at the side of his neck before it trailed down, her hands tugging at the elastic waist of his sweats, pulling them from him before she moved to kneel between his thighs, her tongue running up over the line of hair between his pubes and navel a few times, her hand continuing to massage his rapidly thickening erection.  

When her mouth finally met the silken skin encasing such heated steel, he groaned deeply, her eyes meeting his as she made him vanish into her mouth, sucking him softly to begin with, her lips gradually adding the kind of pressure that had the taut muscles of his thighs dancing beneath the skin. “Bloody hell, darlin’. You always look so fucking pretty with a mouthful of cock.”  

She slid her mouth back up in slow ascension, spitting a mouthful of saliva onto his erection, licking the very tip of it, his lust burning at such a sight. “Yes, you’ve mentioned that once or twice.” Winking, she took him into her throat again, steadily working her lips in a seductive drag over his shaft, her nails raking over his chest.

He was transported to ecstasy rapidly, chest rising and falling faster as her mouth sped up, his gritty groan arrowing right to her cunt, her walls opening, stinging with want. While she kept him happy with her mouth, she managed to undress herself with her free hand, pulling and shimmying out of her dress, undoing the ribbon tie of her thong and unhooking her bra, her hand then pushing between her legs to caress her wetness, elegant fingers stroking over her clit as she moaned around his cock.  

He looked down at the sight, his heart throbbing, arousal charging through him as he watched her touching herself, her soft moans vibrating along his shaft, her eyes never leaving his. The combined ministrations of her lips tightening, tongue pressing and hand stroking on him had his veins blazing, Beth stopping to trail her tongue in long, seductive licks over the very head of his hardness, purring seductively.

“Want me to fuck you yet, big fella?” He was out from under her in a second, pushing her face down onto the sofa, yanking her hips up to plunge into her.

“Nah, but you will lie there and take it while I rail the life out of you, treacle.” The clutch at the back of her neck was hard, imposing, forcing her down as he daggered her insides with rapacious thrusts, her wail filling the space along with the sound of his flesh smacking against hers, their sex utterly brutal, a hundred percent primally charged.

He was completely barbaric with her, escalating her cries by spanking her bum hard, his hand shifting to her hair, grasping it at the roots and flexing his fingers in tug, lifting her head up, creating a warm throb of delicious pain at her scalp, his cock battering her walls. “Like it like this, don’t you, baby beast, ay? When I fuck you hard and nasty?”

“Don’t you dare fucking stop, oh god, yes!” she exclaimed, a raspy moan leaving her lips as she felt her insides decimated so thoroughly, she knew she’d likely have issues sitting down later.  

He spanked her a few more times, his hand pulling at her hair harder. “Fuckin’ dirty girl, you take my cock better than anyone.”  

His words of praise had fire licking her veins, tingles shooting through her spine as she felt the rising tide of heat pulsing from her trembling walls, shattering into nirvana shortly before his own fervid culmination had him groaning out each pulse, cock spurting thick, hot ropes of release deeply within her fluttering cunt. They lay in an entanglement of limbs in the wake of it, stroking one another, Beth departing with a kiss to go and have a bath before getting ready.

She’d been rendered so blissfully cock drunk by Alfie that she didn’t feel much in the way of nerves as she enjoyed her bath before slowly getting ready, curling her hair into loose waves and applying eyeliner and false lashes, her lips nude but a smear of balm. When it came to choosing an outfit, though, Amira’s words playing heavily on her mind, she became a little unglued.  

“Low cut, low cut, high necked, but it’s too hot, oh, lord,” she sighed, moving onto maxi dresses. Most of those were too low. Finally, she came across a floral patterned one that covered her chest without stifling her, the floaty fabric light enough to keep her cool. Now, if only her insides were fixable by such means. For that, she had wine, though, entering the kitchen and pouring herself a glass before going outside to keep out of the caterer's way, finding Alfie playing with Cyril.

“Look at your mum, Cyril, don’t she look lovely!” Her heart fluttered at his cute words; Cyril unmoved completely as he yanked on the end of his rope toy.  

She smiled, glad he approved. “Thanks, boo. Shouldn’t you be getting ready, though?”

“Yeah, I’ll go up in a bit. Only need ten minutes.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Our guests will be arriving in just under fifteen.”

“Blimey!” That did the trick, Alfie leaving Cyril to it, Beth deciding to take over.  

“No, leave it, leave,” she told the dog, Cyril dropping the rope obediently. She then threw it across the garden, the gargantuan beast charging in the cutest lollop she’d ever witnessed, like a hench spring lamb, picking up his rope and dutifully trotting back to drop it at her feet. “Just a few more, and then I have to go in and resume panicking.”  

A couple more throws and Beth re-entered the house, Cyril following her call when he made a beeline for the kitchen, coming with her into the lounge and sitting down in his plush bed, Beth noticing a lovely tray of varied little finger foods lined up. Chicken satay, mini beef wellingtons, smoked salmon blinis, and oh god, there went the door.  

“Baba!” her father greeted her with warmly, giving her one of his usual bone crunching hugs. “What a fantastic pile of bricks this is, wow! Oh, and there’s a dog! Is he friendly?”  

“Very much so,” Beth confirmed, kissing her mother. “His name is Cyril.” While her father made friends, delighted by the fact he asked for his paw to shake and Cyril gave it up immediately, she opened her arms to her darling grandmother, who could hardly keep her eyes in her head. “Hi, bubbe.”

“Is this one of the Queen’s residences, love?” she joked, kissing her granddaughter’s cheek as she entered, her mouth dropping. “Oh, your grandfather would plotz. Look at it!”

“I think you’re doing a good enough job of that for the both of you,” Beth confirmed, Alfie arriving with them. After all introductions were given, they led Beth’s family on the grand tour of the house, Alfie excusing himself halfway round to answer the door to his mother. Once the tour was done, they headed back down to the lounge, Beth dutifully taking her bubbe’s arm to help her on the stairs, entering the lounge to see Alfie, and his older, female double standing there waiting for him.  

“Mum, this is Beth,” he began, Sarra reaching for her hands.  

“Oh, you’re so lovely, look at this dress, and your makeup!” she announced, narrowing her eyes a touch and cocking her head, as if she was trying to work something out. “Alfie, she looks Jewish. Is she Jewish?”  

A little ripple of laughter went around the room, Alfie beginning to nod. “Yeah, mum. She is.”

“Oh! Oh!” she began, pulling Beth into a hug, kissing her cheek. “Finally!” She then went to her son, bundling him in a hug. “Mazel tof, Alf. I’m so flippin’ happy! Have you been waiting for this as much as I have, too?” she then asked Beth’s family, coming to shake hands and give kisses of introduction.

“We have, yes,” Beth’s mum began. “I’m Helen, by the way. My husband John and my mother, Miriam.”  

“Sarra, I’m thrilled to meet you all. Well, I think this calls for wine!” Beth made her way to the kitchen in order to furnish their guests with their drink's choices, breathing a little sigh of relief. All was going well thus far. That was, until they sat down to eat, her father’s choice of question causing her a little flutter in her chest. Of course, she knew such would likely be coming, though. She just hadn’t anticipated for it to be right away.

“So, Alfie. I have to ask, just as any father would. What was the deal with you prior to your relationship with my daughter, seeing three women at once? Not exactly a conventional set up,” he asked, his daughter ceasing chewing for a second, Alfie noticing and patting her hand.

“You’d be right to observe that, John, because it was,” he began, sipping his water. “The deal was simple; I had three girlfriends because I could. I was greedy in that respect, and I liked it, the nature of a polyamorous homelife, and it suited me very well, until it didn’t. Until I met your daughter and realised that I’d found everything I’d been searching for in one woman, rather than little pieces in three or more. That’s what made me change my stance, realising that she was the perfect woman for me and because she wouldn’t budge on my asking her to move in and be one of three, I had to be the one to change my life to accommodate her. She was more than worth it.”

John nodded, clearing his throat. “And forgive me, but what’s to stop you from enjoying it again and thus hurting my daughter in the process?”

He received a shoe in the ankle from his wife, and a sharp look from both Beth and Sarra for such a comment.  

“Because everything I’ve ever wanted is sitting right here beside me,” Alfie told him cordially. If it wasn’t Beth’s father, he’d have likely made some sarcastic barb over whether or not he’d been listening, but out of respect, he held it back. Before their arrival, he’d also put himself into John’s shoes as well, preparing for the line of questioning he knew he could possibly face, thinking how he’d react should it be his own daughter in question. He didn’t blame John at all for seeking answers.

“Alfie, I have to say, this wine is absolutely beautiful,” Helen piped up, wanting to move the conversation along. “I notice from the bottle it’s from Palermo? We had a beautiful holiday out there when Beth was nine, gorgeous place, absolutely stunning.”

“Yeah, yeah I couldn’t agree more, Helen,” he began, relieved. “It’s from a vineyard my business partner and I are considering buying at present, so I should think I’ll be heading out there again before the winter for a little holiday with Beth, once London has become all rainy and miserable.”

“You’ll be back before Hannukah, though, yes?” her grandmother asked, Alfie reaching to stroke her hand affectionately.  

“Oh, absolutely. The Solomons’ make a bloody big deal of Hannukah, bubbe, don’t you worry about that, yeah?” He kissed her hand, Miriam beaming, loving that he’d referred to her as bubbe. She loved everyone to call her that, even to the boy who brought her paper from the local shop, she was bubbe.  

“A vineyard, eh? Blimey, so that brings up your business portfolio by another notch, then,” John spoke, pacified nicely by the answer he’d received, seeing for himself quite clearly how the young man sitting across from him truly adored his daughter. “So, tell me about some of your other ventures?”

Alfie did, in turn asking him about his own career, never hogging the spotlight of conversation as he worked hard to make sure everyone was included, finding Beth’s family to be just as polite and charming as her. She definitely came from good, Jewish stock.  

“I’m thrilled it all went well, and thank you so much for handling dad’s questions about your former relationship dynamic as well as you did,” Beth said later that evening, aiming for the red ball in the middle pocket, just she and Alfie, dressed in casual, comfy clothes after taking a bath together, enjoying the quiet of the house over a bottle of Merlot and a game of pool.  

Alfie grinned, stopping to scratch a nearby Cyril on the head before chalking his cue. “Well, my darlin’, I weren’t about to be rude to the man, absolutely not. Especially when before he even got here, right, I put myself in his shoes for a moment, thought about it as if it were my daughter’s boyfriend I was meeting for the first time, and he’d been with multiple women at once. Gave me a bit of perspective, it did, because I have to admit, I’d have exactly the same concerns. I know that makes me sound a bit hypocritical an’ all, but you know, it’s different with offspring, ain’t it?”

Beth watched him take his shot, biting the corner of her lip slowly, reaching for her wine. “What’s that dreamy look all about, Bethany?”

“Nothing,” she blurted, shaking herself from her daze.  

He wasn’t convinced. “Come on, baby beast. Out with it.”

She laughed softly through her nose, placing her wine down again. “I was just imagining you as a dad. It’s much too soon for us to even begin thinking about that!”

He chuckled, nodding. “I’ll bloody say!” taking his shot, he hissed a curse at missing, Beth bouncing with triumph when he set her up for a very easy corner pocket shot she didn’t miss. “I mean, if it happened then I wouldn’t be unwelcoming to it, but as far as planning goes, I dunno, a year or two? Have some time for us to just enjoy it being the two of us and the dog, yeah?”  

“Are you happy being mummy’s little boy, Cyril?” Beth cooed, crouching to rub his ears. “Yes, I think he likes being an only child.” she confirmed to Alfie, looking back at the table. “A year or two sounds great as well.”

Their families meeting, and now the very simple and easy discussion of when they would start one for themselves. It truly was a lovely way to round of what had been a fantastic day.  

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