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#the idea of taking steps to get better means taking steps to be broke and miserable and in pain and struggling without support
jerzwriter · 2 days
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Mostly Pleasant Surprises 4 / 4 And that's what happened...
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This is the final installment of "how they finally got together." 😊 🎊🎈🍾🎊🎈🥳🥳🍾🎊🎈🍾🎊 You have no idea how happy I am that this is finally on 'paper'!
Book: Open Heart (Book 2 Timeline) Pairing: Tobias Carrick & Casey MacTavish (F!MC) Rating: Teen Words: 5,000
Series Summary: It's been months since the chemical attack, and "kind of" exes-turned-friends Tobias & Casey have been stubbornly denying their growing feelings for each other. But when a series of events threatens to come between them, will they find their way back together?
Part 4 Summary: Their friends have given up. Misunderstandings, misassumptions, and good old-fashioned fear lead to turbulence and turmoil for Tobias and Casey, but after a week of no contact, only one of them seems to be hurting, at least on the surface. Tobias is determined to move on, but will his haste put a nail in their coffin or help bring them back together?
A/N: It's finally done!!!!! Did I mention how excited I am? 🥳🥳🥳 I don't care if no one else cares, I CARE, and it's done! My babies deserve this! :) Participating in @choicesmaychallenge24 We've got wine, passion and "Good night, my love."
Series Masterlist || Tobias x Casey Masterlist Full Masterlist
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Showing up early to work wasn’t out of character for Dr. Carrick, but showing up at 7:00 AM when his shift began at noon could only mean one thing...  he couldn’t sleep. When his good friend, Sasha, realized he was already there at this early hour, she headed to Caffe Bene and purchased two cups of matcha latte. It was her hope that frothy green beverages would be part of a celebration and not something to lift his spirits, but to play it safe, she added his favorite honey bread to her order, just in case comfort food was required. She smiled when she stepped into his office, assuming her worry was for naught when she found him in such good spirits.
“Hey,” she smiled. “I got our favorite!”
“Awesome!” Tobias grinned. “That’s a big improvement over the Lipton tea bag I was about to brew.”
“You’re in a good mood so early in the day,” Sasha noted. “Is there a reason?”
“Sure is! I’ve got a big date on Saturday.”
“Really!” She squealed. “YES! You and Casey finally got your shit together! Now, give me the details! Where are you taking her? It better be someplace nice!”
Tobias took a long sip of his tea and slouched back in his Italian leather chair.
“Who said anything about Casey?”
“You said date... so I assumed... if not Casey... who?”  
“Sophia,” he smiled to his friend’s consternation.
“Sophia? Who the fuck is Sophia?”
“I guess I hadn’t mentioned her. I treated her sister in the ER a couple months back...remember the gymnast from BU?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Her sister broke her leg during practice, and Sophia made it abundantly clear that she wanted to show her appreciation. I never called her because... well... I just didn’t. But last night, I figured, what the hell. Now... Saturday night, it is.”
“Jesus,” Sasha groaned, grabbing a slice of honey bread for herself. “You’ve spent the past eight months talking my ear off about Casey. Why the change up?”
“Because eight months is a long time, and Casey’s made it clear that she doesn’t want me that way. So, I’m done acting like some pathetic, lovesick schoolgirl. I don’t know what came over me to begin with.”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Sasha insisted. “Love, you idiot. Love came over you.”  
“Exactly!” He snapped his fingers. “Something I’ve always done my best to avoid, and it’s time I get back to that.”  
“Tobias...” Sasha groaned.
“Tobias, nothing. This isn’t fun, Sash. All this time hoping for something that will never be, just to get my heart ripped out? Nuh-uh. I want to have fun again, and Sophia... she’s a sight to see. She’s up for partner at WilmerHale, and she’s sexy as hell. Old Tobias would have jumped on that months ago, and new Tobias is lucky dragging his ass didn’t ruin his chances.”
“So you’d rather be with Sophia than Casey?”
“Look... I don’t love Sophia, and I don’t want to. I want to kick back and have fun. Eight months pining over Casey – longest goddamn dry spell of my adult life – nope. I’m done.”
“T,”  Sasha cringed. “I don’t need to know every detail of your life.”
“Trust me, I wish I didn’t know that little stat either! It’s time to get back in the game.”
“Did you even give Casey a chance to explain what you saw?”
“I know what I saw.”
“But it doesn’t sound like Casey at all. And... even if she was on a date... you two weren’t a couple. Tell her how you feel, and I guarantee she’ll forget about this other dude in a nanosecond.”  
He pushed back from his desk, the bravado he was trying so hard to portray beginning to crack.
“Sorry, but after all the time we spent together, all the kisses and her ‘I’m just not ready yet’ professions....”
“Wait! The what?”
“Irrelevant!” He snapped. “If she’d rather be with some mid-white-bread radiologist from Edenbrook, she can have him.”
“Tobias, would you listen to yourself!”
A knock on the door distracted them, and Aurora entered the room, to Sasha’s delight. Feeling the tension, Aurora looked nervously between the two friends and colleagues.
“What’s going on here?”
“Nothing work-related,” Tobias grumbled. “Sasha was just leaving.”
“Tobias, you’re such an idiot!” Sasha turned to Aurora. “Perhaps you can reinforce that after I leave?”
“Uh...he is my boss.”
“And I’m in hospital administration. I can have you transferred to another attending tomorrow.”  
“Really?” Aurora grinned. “We may have to talk.”
“Hey!” Tobias yelled. “She’s my best resident! Emery, sit down! You’re not going anywhere. Goodbye, Sasha.”
After reviewing their morning cases, Aurora silently looked over her notes as Tobias grew increasingly restless. He tapped his pen against his desk incessantly before blurting, “What?”
Aurora looked around in confusion. “What, what?”
“Why don’t you just say what you’re thinking and get it over with.”
“Because I have nothing to say. But if you plan on asking me about Casey, don’t. I’m jumping off the Tobias & Casey train.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m not discussing her with you, nor talking about you with her. You two could drive the sanest person crazy, and I’m done.”
“Fine!”
“Fine.”
But Tobias was anything but fine. No matter how hard he tried to focus he turned to Aurora again after a few minutes of typing jibberish.
“Was Casey all right last night?” he asked out of nowhere. Aurora didn’t even look up from her laptop.
“If you’re so curious, I suggest you call her and ask.”
“I don’t want to talk to her. I just want to know if she’s OK.”
“Then it seems you have a problem. Because, as I said, I got off that train. Especially since you’ve got a date with someone else this Saturday.”
Tobias looked up, stunned. “How... how did you know....”
“Your voice carries Dr. Carrick,” Aurora said, shutting her laptop with a thud. “I could hear you and Sasha talking halfway down the hall.”
“All right, so I have a date. I’m single; what’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” Aurora agreed.
“Then, why the attitude?”  
“Because I don’t get you. You’re one of the most intelligent people I know, a brilliant doctor, but when it comes to Casey, you act like a twelve-year-old. I understand this is probably predicated on fear and past issues, but if you don’t talk soon, you’ll both live to regret it.”
“There’s nothing to say; we’re just friends.”
“Fine,” Aurora rose to her feet. “Then don’t ask me about her. I like and respect you, Tobias, but mention Casey again and I’ll be talking to Sasha about that transfer.”
“You wouldn’t,” he challenged as Aurora reached the door.
“Oh no? Try me!”
~~~~~
Saturday night at eight o’clock, Casey was home from work and was eager for her own big plans: sweatpants, the couch, a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream, and a spoon. Her friends would be there, too, she reminded herself, so it wasn’t that pathetic.
How the past week had dragged at a snail's pace yet also went by in a flash remained a mystery to her. But not communicating with Tobias since Sunday likely inspired the former. This was the longest they had gone without contact since the attack, and while she put on a brave face, it was eating her alive. Seeing his jovial posts on Instagram didn’t help. She took them as reinforcement of what she believed to be true. He didn’t want her. At least not the way she wanted him, and he probably never did. If heartbreak wasn't enough to cope with, feeling like a fool just added insult to injury.
“I really think he’s merely protecting himself,” Sienna stated as the friends tried to agree on a movie. “He’s probably as scared as you are. We all know he cared about you.”
“Cared,” Casey repeated, bringing another spoon of ice cream to her mouth. “Past tense.”
“But that’s not true,” Bryce jumped in. “I ran into him just before he went to Donahue’s. He was heading there to tell you how he felt. I didn’t say anything sooner because you were so upset, but you should know.”
“Really? Then why the 180? He wanted to tell me how much he cared but saw me sitting across the table from Jake and did an about-face? Then he didn’t care as much as he believed.”
“In fairness, you were holding the guy’s hand,” Sienna noted.
“Barely!” Casey snapped. “Besides! He should have known better.”
“Oh, for fucks sake!” Aurora groaned as all turned her way. “Casey, stop it. I swore I wouldn’t reenter the Tobias/Casey drama, but I can’t take this anymore. You’re not exactly innocent either.”
“Excuse me?”
“Maybe Tobias jumped to conclusions because you had been giving him the cold shoulder for a week before he saw you with Jake. He probably surmised that was the reason why!”
“But she only did that because of Audrey’s post,” Sienna defended.
“Yes!” Aurora acknowledged. “Because Casey thought he was on a date with Audrey, but guess what? He wasn’t. But you were quick to believe the worst and wouldn’t give him a chance to explain. Does that sound familiar?”
“I was going to ask him about Audrey's post when we had lunch the next day... but he canceled.”
“You were going to ask him a week later? Casey, I know you’re both scared, but you’re so afraid of getting hurt that you are hurt when you don’t have to be!”
“But he didn’t even let me finish a sentence. Every time I tried to explain, he shut me down!”
“And how many of his texts did you ignore after Audrey’s post?” Bryce asked. “You need to talk to him, Case, before you guys blow this for good.”
“Exactly!” Aurora agreed. “All these games, and now he’s on a real date, and who knows...” she froze mid-sentence, her eyes wide when she realized what she just said.
“A what?” Casey stammered. “A real date? With... with who?”
“OK,” Aurora lamented, rubbing her temples. “I don’t know with whom, but if you refuse to talk to him, you have no reason to be upset if he moves on. If you don’t want him to... talk to him!”  
The pain in Casey’s eyes was visible as she jumped from the couch and retreated to her room... insisting no one follow her. She wasn’t sure why she ran there, though collapsing into bed for a good cry sounded appropriate. She got into position to do just that, but the tears never came. Her emotions were a roller coaster ride she hadn’t been prepared to take. Regret, sadness, anger, and despair shifted inside her by the second, leaving her lost and out of control. The only certainty was another sleepless night ahead, and she couldn’t afford that. Reaching for a Tylenol PM on her nightstand, anger took control once again. She looked at the clock, 11:00. It was early enough. She jumped out of bed and threw on the first clothes she could find, rushing out the door to stealthily evade her friends. Tobias Carrick might be on a date, but when he came home? He was going to have to answer to her.
~~~~~
Tobias looked himself over in his bedroom mirror before heading out for the night. He had to admit... in his black silk long-sleeved Brunello Cucinelli t-shirt and matching chalk stripe trousers, he looked damn good. He slipped on his Burberry overcoat and sprayed one more pump of Oud Wood cologne for good measure, a grin spreading across his face. He still had it, and as he headed out the door for his first date in longer than he cared to admit, that old Carrick confidence was falling into place again.
Sophia insisted on meeting him at Contessa, strongly suggesting that their separate arrivals didn’t dictate how they’d depart if dinner went well. When she arrived, Tobias was already seated at their table, and he had to give her credit; the woman knew how to make an entrance. Her smile lit up the room as she sauntered his way in a spaghetti-strapped burgundy cowl-necked dress that hugged every curve and directed the eye to her most impressive assets. Her dark brown curls framed her face and spilled down over her bare shoulders, and as she got closer, Tobias felt his apprehensions melting away. Perhaps this night wouldn't be so hard after all.
“Tobias,” Sophia smiled as he rose to greet her. Taking his hands in hers, she leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. “You look wonderful tonight.”
“Me,” he simpered. “I lost any chance of being the hottest person in this room the second you walked in.”
“That’s OK. I’m fine being on a date with a man who comes in a very close second in that category,” she winked. “Can you handle that, Dr. Carrick?”
“Oh,” he grinned, motioning for the waiter to begin pouring the Volpaia Chianti Classico. “I can handle that and a lot more.”
“Good,” she smirked. “Then let the evening commence.”
Sophia was beautiful and captivating in every way. Her enthusiasm when discussing her quest to make partner at her firm or her little sister’s gymnastic career was endearing. And when Tobias spoke, she listened so intently he felt like the only person in the world. Things were going great... so why couldn’t he shake the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach? At any other time, he would have thought this date was off to a perfect start, but there was one big difference between this date and all the others in his storied career: this one took place after he had met Casey MacTavish.
Sophia looked over her shoulder when Tobias’s eyes lit up, and he waved at someone seated at the bar.
“I’m so sorry,” he apologized. “That’s a board member from Kenmore. He and I have been playing phone tag for over a week, and I need to touch base with him regarding a grant we’ve been working on. Would you mind if I stepped over to speak with him? I promise I won’t be more than a couple of minutes.”
“Of course not!” Sophia replied. “Trust me, if I see one of the partners that will decide if I’m joining their ranks soon, I’ll ask you to return the favor.”
“Thank you,” he smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
Sophia took a sip of wine and decided to check emails on her phone while she waited. When she reached for her phone, a text came in on Tobias’s, which he left face up on the table. While she wasn’t proud, Sophia did manage to sneak a peek. A local politician’s robotext asking for campaign donations. Benign enough! But her thoughts on the date took a turn when something else she saw piqued her interest.
Tobias returned quickly as promised, apologizing profusely for the interruption. But, ever the attorney, Sophia wasn’t wasting time getting to the point.
“Tobias, I have to ask... are you married?”
“What?” He choked, placing his wine glass back on the table with a shudder. “God, no!”
“Then do you have a girlfriend? Because if you do, I don’t play those games.”
“Sophia, I’m single as can be...trust me. Where is this coming from?”
Knowing honesty was her only option, she tapped a well-manicured nail on his phone.
“A text came in when you were gone, and I saw the beautiful blonde on your screensaver. Who is she? And please, don’t tell me she’s your sister. I won’t believe you, and that would be creepy as hell.”
A line appeared between his brows as he clicked on his phone, and there it was.  
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It had been his screensaver for some time, and he never thought to change it. But staring at it now, he was transported to another time as he recalled that day.
It wasn’t long after the chemical attack, and Casey had been having an especially tough day. Even a ride with a promise of ice cream from Honeycomb Creamery in Cambridge couldn't pull her from the darkness she found herself buried in. As they sat in his front seat licking their cones, he told her she could select his new screensaver. Her face lit up in an instant as she grabbed the phone from his hands, playfully sticking her tongue out as she posed. She was delighted with the blurry, off-centered, silly-faced photo and immediately set it as his screensaver.
Tobias loved that picture. Not only did he think she was stunning, but she was happy. For a moment in time, when gloom surrounded her, she found a moment of joy. She was happy... and that’s all he ever wanted for her. In the months that followed, Casey often told him he could change the screensaver, but he had no intention of doing so. Unbeknownst to her, he had made himself a promise. That screensaver would stay in place until it could be replaced by a picture of the two of them... once she was finally his. He didn’t care if it took a year or a decade; he would see it through.
“I guess I should have changed this,” he muttered. “I’m really sorry... I honestly forgot it was still there.”
But it was Sophia’s job to pay attention, and there was no way she could misinterpret his reaction.
“Is she your girlfriend? Or... an ex?”  
“No,” he said sadly. “But I wanted her to be with all my heart.”
He looked up at Sophia, sincerity in his eyes. “We were just friends, close friends... I guess I always hoped we’d become more, but it wasn’t to be.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Even so... I just realized I'm not even close to being over her. I’m really sorry I dragged you into this, but... I need to get over Casey before I can move on with anyone else. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“At least you’re honest,” Sophia shrugged. “It’s not like you screwed me and ghosted me when regret set in the next morning. So, I have to give you some credit.”  
“I’d never do that,” he said emphatically. But Sophia responded with a smirk.
“Seriously?”
“All right, I would never have wanted to do that,” he grinned. “Well, now that I’ve ruined our date, do you want to call it a night? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“Oh, hell no! You’re still treating me to dinner, Carrick! That’s the very least you can do!”
Tobias handed her a menu with a smile. “That’s more than fair, and please, feel free to order the most expensive items on the menu.”
“I assumed that was a given!” she smiled, reaching over the table to take his hand. “Why don’t we go the friend's route, Tobias. But... if time goes on, and this woman is too foolish to come to her senses and seal the deal with you, let me know when you’re ready. If I’m still on the market, I may give you a second chance.”
“Being friends sounds good,” he replied. “Though you’re quite a catch, I’m sure someone will snap you up before I come around.”
“Well, it will still be nice to have another friend,” she said with a squeeze of his hand.
Tobias looked at their entwined fingers just as they parted. The vision of Casey holding Jake’s hand popped into his mind... and he realized he had been a total fool.
~~~~~
Tobias had walked Sophia home hours before, but the thought of returning to his empty townhome wasn’t remotely appealing. He decided a long walk was in order; it might help with all the thinking he had to do. His mind was in a fog as he meandered down Boston’s gaslit streets, too overwhelmed to notice the dropping temperatures.
Every so often, something pulled him out of his fugue: a honking horn, music from a passing car, or a police siren whooshing by. Those he could handle, but it was the laughter of a couple passing by that sent him reeling. Their arms were wrapped around each other as they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears, leaving Tobias frozen in place.
How did things go so wrong? The past few months with Casey had him believing he had grown up, but when it came to matters of the heart, he still had plenty to learn. He didn’t know what the future held for him and Casey, but he knew the time of hiding had come to end. He needed to talk to her, to tell her the truth. No more treading water... it was time to move on, one way or another. He took his phone out of his pocket; it was already 11:30. Too late to start that conversation tonight, but he vowed to call her as soon as he woke up tomorrow. It was time.
He pulled his coat closer as he turned onto his street, his clarity of thought finally making him aware of the cold; he was grateful he only had a half block to go. But as he neared his home, he squinted, trying to make out the blurry figure on his steps. His heart skipped a beat when she came into focus... wearing no more than a sweater and a pair of tights, Casey sat shivering on his front steps. Head buried in her hands, she didn’t see him approach, and she was startled at his words.
“Casey?” He blurted. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” she said, jumping to her feet in a visibly emotional state. “I was about to ask you the same thing!”
“Uh... I live here,” he said with confusion.
“I know that!” she snapped. “But you’re not supposed to be here! Or at least, you’re not supposed to be here alone!”
“Casey,” he huffed. “What are you talking about?”
She marched up to him, pounding her hand against his chest. “You had a date!” she fumed. “A freaking date!” Tears welled in her eyes as she continued. “How the hell could you have been on a real date tonight?”
“How did you even know... Aurora...” he grumbled.
“How I know is unimportant! What’s important is that you were on a date!” She struggled to hold back a sob as she continued. “So, how was it? I’m your good friend Casey, right? So you can tell me! Was it fun? Where’d you go? Did you take her anyplace we’ve ever gone together?”
“Casey, stop!” he exclaimed, reaching for her arm. But Casey jolted away as if his touch would sear her.
“No!” She hollered. “Answer me! Who was she? Is she pretty? Did you sleep with her?” She turned on her heel and began to pace, her hands flailing about. “Well, that’s a stupid question!” She spat. “Of course you slept with her! You’re Tobias Carrick!”
“What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he chided, with a flash of anger in his eyes.
“You have a reputation, T! Everyone knows you’ve banged anyone you’ve ever dated – and god knows how many you didn’t even bother to date! Oh, everyone except for me, that is! I guess that makes me special, huh? You hear that, Boston?” She declared. “It’s me! I’m the one person Tobias Carrick dated and didn’t fuck! I’m more rare than a goddamn unicorn!”
“Casey, stop it!” He exclaimed. “Yes, I had a date tonight. But it ended before it began and, no... I didn’t sleep with her!”
“You... you didn’t,” she whimpered.
“No! I didn’t!” He said, frustration mounting. But frustration or not, all he wanted to do was scoop Casey up in his arms and never let her go, and it took everything in him not to see that through. He may have been able to ignore his desires, but he couldn’t ignore how her body trembled in the cold. He began to remove his coat, “Casey, you’re shivering; please take....”
“I don’t want your coat!”  
“Then... then come inside and warm up a bit. It’s freezing out here.”
“No! I don’t want to!”
Exasperated, he threw his head back with a groan. “Then what do you want? Why did you come here? To scream at me? Insult me? Because if that’s all you want, I’ll call an Uber to get you home."
“I came here tonight because you were on a date!” She cried. “I was sure you’d bring her home, and I needed to see it with my own eyes.”
“What? Why? Why would you want to do that?”
“Because I love you!” She yelled, the shocked look on her face making it clear she was as surprised by her words as he was.
“You... you... what?”
She wanted to run, but there was no place to go now that the cat was out of the bag. She wiped her nose with her sleeve and summoned the courage to continue.
“I love you, Tobias. I love you.” She said through tears. “And if you don’t love me, then I need to know so I can move on. Because... I love you. I’m sorry I told you like this,” she rambled. “I never wanted to tell you like this, and maybe I shouldn’t have told you at all, but it’s too late now. I... I love you. I’ve loved you for....”
Maybe it was the shock, or perhaps because he moved with the speed of a gazelle, but Casey never saw him coming. Before she knew it, his arms encircled her, their lips came crashing together, and they gave in to the burning passion that had been ignited in them for so long. Neither wanted to let. Letting go might prove that this was just another dream. But this time, the bright smiles on their faces confirmed... they were very much awake. Tobias let out a grunt as their lips came together again, lifting Casey off her feet, she giggled t as he spun her around, placing her back down again against his gate.
“You... you love me?” he gushed, joy radiating from his face.
“I do!” Casey beamed. “I love you so very much.”
“Thank God,” he gasped, pressing his forehead against hers. “Because I love you Casey... I love you so much I swear, it hurts!”
She reached up and caressed his cheek, then his jawbone, gazing into his crystal blue eyes as if she were seeing them for the very first time.
“Love’s not supposed to hurt,” she smiled.
“Then let’s make a deal, from this moment on, you and me... we’re all about love without the hurt. Can we do that?”
“I’m in... I’m in if you are,” she grinned.
“I am SO in! Casey, my date earlier today ended practically before it began because the truth is, I want you and only you.  Today, tomorrow, for the rest of my days.  I want you, Casey Mactavish. I love you... and you have no idea how great it feels to finally say those words out loud.”
“I love you, too,” she cried, pulling him into a fiery kiss that melted the winter’s cold.
Tobias began to chuckle as his hands dropped to Casey's waist. Mid-kiss, Casey pulled back with a smirk.
“Why are you laughing about?”
“If I tell you... you have to promise to not get mad.”
Casey raised a brow and gave him a teasing look. “Oh, you’ve got my attention... you have to tell me now.”
“Having you in my arms... it feels like a dream... but....”
“But?”
“Can I grab your ass, Casey? Because God knows, I’ve been dying to grab your ass. I’ve dreamt about it, and if you’re OK with it....”
“Fine! Fine, fine, fine,” she laughed. “You can grab my ass, Tobias!.”
Without hesitation, he lowered a hand to her left butt cheek and gave a generous squeeze. Casey couldn't help but giggle as a grin spread across his face.
“There! Was that everything you imagined it would be?"
“Everything and more,” he growled.
“So,” she said, after another kiss. “Is that all you/ve been imagining doing with me... or is there more?”
“Oh, hell no,” he laughed. “I have a very active imagination, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
“Well, then,” she cooed, running her fingers down his lapel. “If the offer still stands... can we go inside? Maybe you could show me some of those... other things?”
Casey was right earlier that night—sleep was not to be had—but this time, neither she nor Tobias minded one bit.
Just before the crack of dawn, they lay together in his bed, Casey blissfully sleeping under his protective arm. Careful not to disturb her, Tobias reached for his phone to check the time, and there it was staring back at him... Casey’s goofy screensaver.
He held his sleeping girlfriend closer. No, they hadn’t had that conversation yet, but it was the first thing he planned to do when they woke. But he was confident—Casey was his girlfriend. He pulled her closer and snapped a quick selfie of them, immediately making it his new screensaver—a promise had been kept.
Placing the phone at his side, he rolled over and spooned behind his love, kissing the top of her head, he whispered.
“Good night, my love."
His love. At long last, Casey was his. He was hers. And he fell asleep soundly at her side, knowing that their new life had just begun.
@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics
Tagging others separately.
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milo-is-rambling · 9 months
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Huge shoutout to everyone who was too mentally fucked up to succeed in high school but they were smart when the meds worked and when everything was okay but the second something went wrong you went back to not caring and letting yourself fail and now you’re watching everyone go to college and gain skills and friends and go new places and you’re still in the the same (or worse) shitty mental place you were four years ago and you feel like you aren’t allowed to ever be successful because you dropped out of high school and you can’t even imagine paying to take a college course.
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deadsetobsessions · 5 months
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Okay, so maybe Tim has no business being in Bludhaven. Tim maintains that since his parents fail at parenting, he can do whatever he wants.
Besides, it's for a good cause. Like, not letting Tarantula get her dirty hands on his big brother in another time line. Tarantula had popped up in the Bludhaven servers - by that, Tim means the endless amounts of threads and underground fronts for criminal activity that he stalks on a regular basis- by being seen with Nightwing. Tim had immediately booked a ride to Bludhaven and bought another burner. He'd try to take care of her himself, but if worse comes to worse, he'd call Deathstroke. He's totally aware of the weird tension Deathstroke has with Nightwing and Tim's kind of banking on that.
Dick's been back in Blud for two months now, Jason having assuaged his mother hen tendencies enough for Dick to get sick of the Manor. Tim hadn't meant to follow since he had plenty of projects to work on now that "SAVE JASON" wasn't blaring at the top of his head.
But then Tarantula appeared and Tim saw red, remembering the way Dick spoke about her and what she did to him.
He bids the driver goodbye. The driver doesn't question his being on his lonesome mainly because 1) Gothamites mind their own busines, 2) Tim gave him a $500 tip to make sure he remains a "good" Gothamite cabbie, and 3) Tim made sure he was dropped off in the swankiest, most ostentatious hotel Bludhaven had to offer.
"Rich people," the cab driver had muttered as Tim closed the door. Perfect.
Tim got his keycard, having checked in under Alvin Draper over the phone. Normally, they'd require an in person visit, but money talks. And people listened when Tim had a lot of things to say.
Tim even feels like he's trained enough to go out! Lady Shiva's training was ingrained into his memory, and Tim's built enough muscle to make use of some of it. He is still nine, after all. He's so much stealthier this time around. Plus, he's got almost his full tool set back. Sure, some of the tech is ancient, but he managed to finagle it to make grappling guns and smoke pellets more along the quality that he's used to.
Tim waits until nightfall, looping the surveillance around his window to mask his exit. Tim adjusts his domino, eyes scanning the city skyline as his handheld computer (god, he can't believe he has to invent wrist computers) tracked reports of Nightwing through Tweetings.
Ah. He's around Seventh. Tim grimaces as his untested joints adjusts to the grappling guns. His dark clothes make him hard to spot, to his advantage as he tracks down Nightwing.
Tim watches, perched on an adjacent roof as Nightwing takes down a crowd of goons with the flips Tim remembered watching from afar and up close in another timeline.
"Blockbuster'll kill everyone you love, Nightwing!"
Tim winces at the rather brutal crunch that followed, Nightwing having punched the guy and knocked him out in one move. He watches Dick sigh, tugging at his hair in stress.
Tim could... no, no. He shouldn't think of murder as a first option. Well, no, he shouldn't think of Deathstroke as a first option. But he'll need to take Blockbuster out before anything happens. And he needs to threaten the new Tarantula before anything happens. He won't allow her to even get close to Dick.
Maybe it's unfair to punish her for a crime she hasn't done, but unlike murder, rape can never be defended. Catalina Flores is a dead woman walking.
Tim stalks his big brother back home and then broke off to begin his short reign of terror over Bludhaven's underground. If he can't get Dick to take a break (and Tim's tried, a lot, over the years) then he'll make sure that the next month is as gentle as possible on his older brother.
Step 1. Murder Take care of Blockbuster
Step 2. Threaten Catalina Flores and her brother.
No. Wait. Tim has a better idea. He's got dirt on them, on top of the murder thing. He'll fabricate Catalina's tax returns, embezzle a shit ton of money from the IRS, and get her and her corrupt brother (because getting your sister out from murder charges is considered corrupt) arrested and locked away. And he'll make sure they stay locked away with some good old blackmail on Amanda Waller.
Tim grins, tranquilizing the building with an ungodly amount of knock out gas pellets, to riffle through the police precinct's files.
Step 2. Threaten Catalina Flores and her brother.
Step 2. Cripple Catalina Flores and her brother with blackmail and the IRS.
In three hours, Tim has everything he needs to begin a temporary hostile takeover. He's got the names of local mob bosses, the big players, and the names of practically every police officer that takes bribes and their... sponsors.
He'll have to cut off Blockbuster's lines of supplies first. Then, blacklist him from local suppliers, mobilize the police precinct against him (by imitating his M.O. perfectly- Tim's not a fucking amateur- and pretending to rob the precinct blind), and then break his knees.
Step 3. Profit
Tim takes out his shiny new burner phone, enjoying the loud sounds of the police squawking through his planted bugs. He lounges on the building next to it, keeping an eye out for Nightwing just in case the man decides to respond to the crisis.
[Unknown: It's RR.]
[Deathstroke: New phone?]
[RR: Who dis?]
[Deathstroke: What?]
[RR: Nevermind. I'll give you forty thousand to shoot someone's knees out.]
[Deathstroke:... That's it? Who?]
[RR: Blockbuster. Bludhaven. Extra twenty thousand if you tell him he's got the spine of a sea slug, kick him in the balls, and post it on Tweeting.]
[Deathstroke: What did he do to you? Deal.]
Tim ignored Deathstroke's question.
[RR: Half sent. Confirm?]
[Deathstroke: Confirmed. Timeline?]
[RR: Three weeks. 21 days.]
[Deathstroke: Confirmed.]
----
Tim grins ferally, all teeth as Catalina Flores looked on in horror at her computer screen.
"Get out of Bludhaven, and don't come back. If you even think of going near Nightwing, I will rip what's left of your pathetic, sniveling swine of a brother apart. You will not enjoy the consequences."
Tim clicks off, watching Catalina and her brother launch themselves into mad packing. He tapped out a short message to Amanda Waller for her and her team to intercept them at the state lines. They'll never get away from Tim's fury. Never.
[Waller: It's done.]
[Waller: I will find you.]
[RR: You can definitely try, Waller. Good doing business with you.]
Tim can see the blood vessel the woman popped after he sent that last message. He laughs.
He saves Deathstroke's video from Tweeting onto his actual, spoofed phone. He destroys the burner phone, less shiny now that he's dragged it through two and a half weeks of breaking heads and terrorizing the Bludhaven Underground. Nightwing hadn't even gotten a whiff of his activities, this Dick being far less experienced and known in this version of Blud.
One more week and Tim can continue his other projects.
----
Nightwing, going about his vigilante business: wow it sure is peaceful
Feral Tim Drake, Nightwing's scary dog privilege: try me, bitch
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fairydvsts-blog · 10 months
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𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫
Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
obx masterlist
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summary; your best friend, Rafe, finds out that you're dating someone else and he's not happy about it
warnings; some angst, jealous!Rafe, SMUT, praising and degrading, spanking, oral sex (fem receiving), hickeys, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up you all!)
a/n; english isn't my first language, so you might find some mistakes; I'm open to constructive criticism. Enjoy!
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While you were sitting on your bed doing your homework, Rafe suddenly entered your room, looking at you with anger in his ocean blue eyes.
"When were you going to tell me?" he questioned, not even bothering to say hello.
He had showed up unannounced, clearly annoyed at you; but the thing was you had no idea why he was so mad, since you hadn't done anything that could have upset him.
Or so you thought.
"Tell you what, exactly?" you asked.
Your confusion only grew as seconds passed, luckily, Rafe broke the silence and said, "That you're dating someone."
His statement surprised you, you didn't expect him to figure it out that soon; only a week had gone by since you had started seeing the guy. But guess what, Rafe Cameron seemed to have eyes and ears everywhere.
"I don't know, Rafe," you answered him, then added, "I mean, I've barely know him for a few days." You saw his stoic features harden as you talked.
"So what?" he replicated. "You didn't think I would want to know?"
You rolled your eyes at his hypocrisy; he dated a new girl every week and he for sure didn't talk to you about any of them —not that you wanted to know anyways. Why should you tell him then?
"Know what? That I'm fucking someone? I don't recall you telling me such things" you declared as you frowned, starting to get mad at him.
You stood up, taking some steps in his direction, while his eyes widened at your words. He clearly wasn't expecting to hear that.
"You've fucked him?" the blonde snapped; his jaw was visiblely tense.
"Yes, it is wrong now?" you asked him with raised eyebrows at the same time that you crossed your arms.
Your breasts poked out from the neckline of your tank top, drawing Rafe's attention for an instant. Though he looked away quickly, his intense stare made you blush a little and you let go of you arms unconsciously.
"Yeah, it is," he stated, then he added, "you said it yourself, you don't even know him that well."
He was being so unfair to you that your blood started boiling. When he fucked girls at parties, he didn't care about not knowing them; he didn't even ask for their names.
"So what?" you mocked him. "Do you know every girl you've put your dick into?"
He gasped, not knowing how to argue with that; he knew that you had a point, but he wouldn't recognise it.
"It's different," he ended up saying.
"The hell is not," you refuted.
After a few seconds of silence, in which you gave each other a deathly stare, you sighed and decided to speak again, "Sometimes I don't get you, Rafe, I just don't."
Rafe's attitude pissed you off so much; one minute he was all over you, like you were the most precious treasure he had, and the other he was fucking other girl that wasn't you. And it enraged you because you liked him, a lot, even if you didn't want to admit it out loud.
"Bet he doesn't even fuck you properly." His sudden statement made you gasp because he was, in fact, correct.
You couldn't deny the guy sucked at sex, but he was popular and good-looking and just happened to be at that party where Rafe stood you up for some blonde chick; and given that you wanted him to feel as jealous as you felt when he fucked other girls, you couldn't prove him right.
So you held your head high and, then, you lied, "I think he does it quite well actually."
You had to look up at him after he took a step closer, fixating his fiery eyes in yours. Suddenly, you were so close together that you could feel his warm breathing in your skin.
"Bet I could fuck you so much better."
He left you open-mouthed and your heart started hammering in your chest as he spoke. When he finished talking, he licked his lips with a smirk and your eyes betrayed you, looking closely at his mouth.
On a normal basis, you would have been intimidated by him, but that day you were feeling bolder than ever, so you rose up on your toes to reach his ear and whispered, "Then fuckin' prove it."
He shortened the distance between the both of you, grabbing your chin between his fingers and connecting your lips with his; the action took you by surprise and your eyes widened for a moment. In just seconds, the kiss became so hungry and desperate that your breath hitched and your legs started feeling like jelly.
Your hands caressed his cheeks, feeling the stubble on his jaw, while you closed your eyes. As the kiss deepened, you felt his bigs hands grabbing your butt and then Rafe lift you up so that he could place you in top of your bed. You felt your notes getting crushed, so, without breaking the kiss, you fumbled on the mattress for the sheets to toss them to the ground.
After that, you took off his cap, throwing it aside, to tangle your fingers in his messy hair. You pulled his blonde locks to push him away in order to start undressing; your eyes didn't leave his as you grabbed the hem of your t-shirt and removed it. His eyes dropped from your eyes to your exposed breasts and his breathing became heavier.
He stood still for a few seconds, just staring at your body, before saying, "You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
He leaned over you to take one of your nipples between his lips, sucking at it like a man starved. You moaned at his action as your hands sneaked under his polo shirt to touch his soft skin; when he let go of your nipple with a loud pop, you decided to take it off.
As you put his shirt aside, he started to kiss and lick your neck, marking it. You were sure he'd leave love bites all over it and the thought of everyone seeing his marks on your body only made you wetter.
You had waited so long for that moment that it felt unreal.
"I want that fuckin' asshole to know who you really belong to, baby," he stated, gently bitting your collarbone.
His hand wandered over your left thigh, caressing your naked skin, until it reached your shorts. He looked at your face, asking for permission to undress you completely; you nodded to make him know that it was okay. Rafe smirked and, then, took off your shorts and underwear.
He didn't waste any time after that; he just buried his face between your legs. His action took you by surprise and you gasped for air while you grabbed at your bedsheets, moaning loudly when he sucked hungrily at your clit. Your back arched because of the pleasure his talented tongue was giving you, licking every sensitive part of your pussy from your entrance to your bundle of nerves.
Seconds later, you felt how Rafe placed his tongue right onto your clit again, licking it up and down at a tortuous pace. Your legs started shaking and you grabbed his hair to bring his head closer to you; he was almost suffocating in your pussy, but he couldn't think of a better way of dying. You felt a little bit ashamed when you started cumming after just a few minutes of stimulation, however, Rafe encouraged you to do so.
"That's it, baby, cum in my face like the little slut you are," he said, rubbing your clit with his thumb to help you ride your orgasm.
"Oh my god! Rafe!" you moaned, desperately grinding your pussy against his mouth.
The pleasure clouded all of your senses for what seemed minutes and when the feeling went away, you looked down to find his blue eyes staring at you, mesmerised.
"I love you," he admitted, climbing over you to kiss your lips hungrily but you couldn't return the kiss.
"What?" you asked, totally surprised by his confession.
"I love you, baby, do you love me?" he answered, caressing your cheek while he placed himself between your legs.
It took you a few seconds to react, but you finally said, "I love you, Rafe."
He smiled at you, giving you a short kiss before unbuttoning his short dress pants under your attentive gaze. You tried to help him undress but he didn't allow it, grabbing your hips to turn you around and place you over your stomach. After that, Rafe couldn't resist the urge to spank you and his action made you moan.
"Stay still, baby," he ordered while he finished undressing.
"Again," you demanded, ignoring his request.
You heard his laughter.
"So my little slut likes to be spanked... Interesting," he pointed out, positioning behind you and lifting your hips from the mattress.
Then, he slapped you again, harder that time, and you moaned, feeling your pussy getting wetter —if that was possible. You looked back, finding him in all his naked glory and your cheeks turned red at the sight.
He was gorgeous, every part of him.
"Please, Rafe," you begged, shaking your butt in need of some sort of friction.
"Fuck, baby, you have the prettiest cunt," he told you, rubbing the thick head of his cock over your clit and you squirmed in response, "I'm going to fucking destroy you, sweetheart."
He penetranted you in one single thrust, taking your breath away because of the sudden intrusion. He was big and it took you a few minutes to adjust to his size, but he didn't push your limits, thrusting into you slowly and carefully at first, which made it more pleasant for you.
When he felt that you were ready to take more, he started pounding into you faster; his dick filled you perfectly, it was like he was made to fuck you, and in no time you were a moaning mess under him. With each thrust, his pelvis hit your ass cheeks, pushing you hard against the mattress.
"I wish you could see yourself, baby," he panted, slapping your thigh while he screwed you hard, "You look like a fucking goddess."
The bedroom was too hot; his skin was covered in sweat and it felt sticky against yours. He leaned over you, reaching for your neck to cover it with wet kisses. At the same time, his right hand trailed toward your pussy, pressing and rubbing your clit with two fingers. You held onto his arm, digging your fingernails into his skin unintentionally due to the pleasure.
You bit your lower lip so hard that your drew blood. He noticed it, so he grabbed your jaw with his free hand to bring your mouth closer to his and licked your lip clean.
"I'm so close, Rafe," you announced, whimpering on his lips.
"I know, baby, I can feel your pretty pussy tightening around my cock," he moaned next to your ear, giving you goosebumps.
Hearing Rafe's moans was your new favourite thing in the world.
"My little slut is gonna cum all over my cock?" He asked, caressing your back until he reached your ass, spanking you again.
"Rafe, yes! I'm cumming!" you almost screamed in pleasure, trembling in his strong arms.
Your muscles became so thigh that your orgasm triggered his own.
"Fuck, baby, I'm cumming too," he warned, trying to pull out because he wasn't wearing a condom, but you stopped him from doing so.
You didn't want your orgasm ruined.
"Inside, please," you begged.
Rafe pounded into you one last time before he came with a loud moan, filling you with his cum. He kept thrusting into you for a few seconds to ride his climax and then he collapsed over you on the mattress. It took him a moment to move to the side to cuddle with you; both of you were gasping for breath.
"Who fucks you better then?"
You couldn't help but smile and answered, "You do, Rafe."
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gutghost · 6 months
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Imagine you get cheated on...BUT- the cheater turns kinda...yandere?
It felt like an awful nightmare. Bile rising in your throat as you looked at your lover - the person who you loved through their highest and their lowest, the person who you invested blood sweat and tears into, the person you promised yourself to - undoubtedly pressing their lips to another person's. It took a hot minute before you tried to step back, only for you to bump into the doorway, causing a loud thump. The two looked at you, one with horror, the other with confusion. It took you no time to turn around and make a run for it. A hiccup making its way out of your throat as you felt a sob start to shake through your body.
It's been afew months, well. More then few months since that incident, and safe to say you have been doing...fine. not great, but fine. You've decided to collect your things while your lover was away from the house, your friends and family helping you out as you found a new place to live. It was bare bones, considering you didn't take the shared couch, or tv, dressers, not even bed. But it was yours, and you've been getting by. You'd like to think you've gotten stronger.
That was until odd things started happening around your apartment. Things were being moved, shit you know you wouldn't misplace. Your clothes were going missing, much to your dismay. You barely had any, so to lose even one shirt was frustrating. Then roses started appearing in vases in your home. Seeing as actual items were showing up you decided to call the police, and when it seemed that the window to your bedroom was broken, seemingly from an outside force, they told you to invest in better security as they kept a look out.
Which is why you were going to the store so late at night, I mean, what could go wrong?
bad decision, you later decided as you looked at the scene infront of you. Your throat tight, bile rising, just like that night, the night you lost your true love. In front of you was your lover - now ex - looming disheveled, gasping for air as their voice broke, a small, unnerving, almost crazed look, crossing their features.
"My love, my everything, oh please-"
"Dont."
Your lip trembles as you step back, your look of surprise quickly turning into that of anger. They had no right to call out to you with such fondness, not after what they put you through. The pain and suffering, all due to the person who swore to love you.
A look of hurt crossed their face at the sight of you backing away from them, as if you kicked a puppy. The idea sickened you. Quick to try and close the space once more as they struggled to walk straight they would stumble forward. Their voice trembling as they fell to their knees, a whimper coming from them as they scrambled to grab at your sweatpants.
"Please - my love I beg of you, I know what i did was sin, I know - I've never been more sick in the mind then i was that night, oh I was so stupid, thinking I could ever so much as THINK of another woman! Even more so after wards, how could I think I could ever live without you??? You! Oh precious you, the sun only shines when you are near. Those next few weeks were torture my dear, I've never wanted anything more then to RIP MY SKIN OFF WHEN I REALIZED MY MISDEEDS."
Their insane rambling continued as you tried to shove them off, tears starting to stream down their gaunt cheeks. Had they been eating? You wondered as you tried to get them off you.
"I'm...i'm better now though! I've never been thinking clearer, I came to a realization life isn't worth living without you! But by then- you...- you had already left, I tore through that house to try and find you but you had already been far gone. I asked your family, your friends - but all of them simply turned me away, your LOVER - isn't that what I am? I am, aren't i?? They should've...they-"
You couldn't listen to this anymore. A disgusted feeling filling your gut. What did you ever see in them?? You quickly shoved them away, a small gasp coming from them as you stepped away, your ex lover falling backwards onto the sidewalk. A look so firey resting on your face it could rival the heat from the depths of hell.
"You lost that right. You lost it the moment you took that person into your arms, the moment you brought them into our home, the moment you pressed your lips against theirs."
They seemed dumbfounded, sobs starting to wash over their body as they tried to sputter out apologies. But you had none of it.
"Did you get a kick out of it? Seeing me suffer? Seeing me jealous as you placed your hands on that person's? Your lips on them? When i left did you just go right back to kissing on them? Fucking them??"
You spat at them, your ex lover crying their heart out as they struggle to breathe. Whether it be from guilt or heartbreak, you weren't sure. They shook their head as they continued to cry, trying once again to reach out to you, to hold onto you for that comfort you once so readily gave them. But you stepped back, putting space between you once more. A scoff coming from you as you did so
"Baby please don't do this to me, please please please-"
Their voice wavered heavily. Some part of you, the part buried deep down in your heart, ached at the sight of them so broken down. They looked ill, both mentally and physically. But what done was done. You quickly turned on your heels as you made your way home. Your ex lovers cries filling the street as he urged you to come back, to not leave him. To not abandon him.
Maybe some sick part of you felt good that you left them a blubbering mess, after all. They rept what they sown, did they not?
Little did you know, oh how blissfully unaware you were. They were gonna get you back, one way or another. They will have you back in their arms, with all those roses they left in your apartment in pretty vases all over your newly bought home in the woods, far from everyone.
They will have you be their's again.
that corpse that once used to be their side piece left rotting under the concrete of their basement proves it.
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saddestsquid · 26 days
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The Red Means I Love You ❤︎
Summary: Jason Todd x fem!Reader. You and Jason used to date before you left to stay with the Titans. You both miss each other more than you’d like to admit, but stay out of contact. Fast forward to after he died, you encounter Redhood. Old feeling stir, and before you know it you’re bent over the motorcycle of someone you swore you’d leave in the past.
Warnings: Angst -> smut, 18+, p in v, unprotected s$x, mentions of death & terrorism.
A/N: This takes place right after s3ep2, right after they find out Redhood’s identity :3
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You didn’t fully know what was happening; just that there were too many hostages in the building—all who would be killed if not evacuated immediately. You were about to run and help the rest of the titans get everyone as far away as possible before Kory pulled you aside.
You went to protest before she quickly interrupted you, “Go search for Jason.” 
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Uhm, what?”
“Look, I have a feeling he’ll listen to you better than anyone.” she said. “Jasons not someone who can be brought down by force. Shit, he came back from the fucking dead, you think he’s gonna let us beat this new…phase out of him?” 
You wanted to argue, but Kory wasn’t someone who was wrong often. She had a good point, and you knew you had to follow it.
“We’ve got this under control,” she assured, resting a reassuring but firm hand on your shoulder. “Go.”
You were skeptical, especially when you could see Gar in the distance shaking in his boots trying to convince an old lady to let him help her down the steps, and citizens clearly getting whiplash from Connor moving them to safety too fast. Your team was…definitely something, but with some hesitance you finally turned and ran in the direction of the one member you wanted to see.
“Jason!” You called out, your voice echoing through the barren alley. Gotham was creepy enough already without walking in some sketchy, busted up route in the pitch dark.
You kept calling but the only response you got was your own voice echoing back to you. You tried to scratch your mind for something to say that could persuade him, but you came up blank. Guilt ate at your conscience when you remembered that you hadn’t spoken to him for months before he died. 
To be honest, Jason never had anyone in his life to begin with. He told you that along with all his other secrets, and you still broke his heart. 
You stayed with the titans, thinking he was being naive for not wanting to. You didn’t think about the fact they never once tried to help him, or ever see him as more than an immature kid. They didn’t have the energy to help Jason through his issues so they just abandoned ship, sending him right back to Bruce and his horrible coping mechanisms.
As much as you wanted to be angry at Dick, or Kory or really anyone else for letting that happen, you had to face that you played your part.
Jason Todd died alone. He died feeling like no one would miss him, like he was a failure of a Robin and a failure of a titan. Because even after everything, all he wanted to do was prove himself.
So, yeah. Admittedly the first words you chose to say were not a good idea. Probably should’ve seen that one coming, but you never were too good at comforting him. was anyone?
“It didn’t have to be like this, you can still come back to the titans!” You tried to coax him, almost immediately regretting it. You quickly shut your mouth, tho the damage was already done. You just prayed he wasn’t here—he didn’t need to be provoked into blowing your brains out. 
Only when your muscles stopped tensing and you thought you got lucky, a voice you couldn’t even recognize rumbled above you. It shot ice up your veins and you would’ve frozen in place if you weren’t so adiment on seeing him again.
“Still taking about the titans? Why am I surprised.” He taunted, tilting his head in a gesture so familiar it made your heart ache. When you spun around you were met with someone you couldn’t believe was really Jason. He was standing on some rusted fire escape, a steel red mask boring right through you. 
You tensed, but not out of fear. No, you could never be scared of Jason, not the same nerd who woke up early to make you breakfast or who secretly wore reading glasses. 
You debated messaging him for months after your breakup, paragraphs on paragraphs you never sent. You had so much to say to him before, so why now did your mind go blank?
It was hard to see what he was feeling with the mask, but you could tell he was expecting a snarky remark back. When you just stood there dumbfounded, he sighed. “Look, I’m done trying to prove myself to them. To Bruce, to everyone! I don’t have to be some fucking nobody y/n, and neither do you.”
Now that made you snap out of whatever trance you were in. “‘and neither do you’? What are you trying to do, advertise me the life of crime?”
He groaned, “I don’t know why I ever tried with you. The titans are just a bunch of fucked up people acting like one big happy family, is that what you wanted? Are you happy you made that choice?” He sneered.
There was malice in his tone, but it wasn’t real. he didn’t feel angry anymore, just betrayed.
He would’ve splayed his heart out for you on a silver platter if you asked, just for you to turn your back on him. You followed him in his dreams, haunted him every time he smelt a familiar perfume, even appeared behind his shut eyelids while the life drained out of him. You were a part of him, and from what he knew you’d never looked back when you stormed out that day.
That’s why it shocked him when tears started to well in your eyes. God, your eyes—the ones he would subconsciously buy clothes of in the same colour. “You could’ve came with me,” you whispered. 
Your meek tone broke something in him. His shoulders relaxed and in a blink he leaped down, knees bending upon landing on the hard ground in front of you. Seeing him like this; the mask concealing his identity, various weapons strapped to his thighs and seemingly more toned than the last time you saw him—you could understand why everyone was on edge.
He stood there motionless, a silent and intimidating presence before you. You both stood there in unbearable silence until finally, he lifted his mask off.
His features were lit beautifully by the dim street light, eyes glinting ever so slightly. He looked exhausted—more troubled now, but you knew, despite everything, this was Jason. Your Jason, not who he was manipulated into.
“No, I couldn’t have.” he muttered begrudgingly, “they made that very clear.”
“So what, you just become a terrorist? Is that your idea of solving your problems?”
His fists clenched in barely concealed anger. “Bruce couldn’t save Gotham, so he abandoned it. I’ll be the one to fix it.” 
“By running around in a new suit and planting bombs everywhere? Real great strategy.” You rolled your eyes, but started to blush when you stared at him too long in the plated suit that fit him perfectly. You quickly caught yourself ogling and looked away, assuming he wouldn’t catch the red tinge on your face. 
You don’t know how you ever thought he wouldn’t notice. Of course he noticed, it’s Jason Todd.
For fucks sake, the guy noticed every detail about you. The way you’d avoid eye contact when nervous, the pace of your blinking quickening when you were lost in thought, the slight heighten of your voice when you were excited about something. All these tiny things and you thought he just wouldn’t notice the way you eyed him down all red in the face?
Come on, you were basically writing your true feelings out to him in big, bold… ..red letters…
and it’s not like Kory ever specified exactly what to do once you found him… .. .
So that’s how you ended up bent against his motorcycle in some busted up alleyway, pussy spread open on his dick.
You gasped and clawed pointlessly at his covered back; nails clinking uselessly against the metal armour of his suit. 
Your own suit was pulled off just enough to get access to your cunt, panties pulled to the side so he could plunge his thick cock into you.
He was groaning more than he used to, and you could swear you even heard him whine. His pace was ruthless, thrusts messy but coordinated. He kept trying to push further inside you, pressing his body as close to you as possible like you would vanish at any moment. 
“Fuckfuckfuck-“ he rambled. Death heightened all of his senses—made things have so much more of an impact on him. Maybe he just missed you too much, or maybe he let himself forget how good you feel.
To be fair, you were far worse off than him. You would’ve alerted everyone in Gotham if he wasn’t covering your mouth with a gloved hand, though it’s not like anyone here would bat an eye to screaming.
“My poor baby just been lonely, s’that it?”He teased, manhandling you by your hips to meet his harsh thrusts. 
“Nobody to fill up this pretty hole like I do, such a shame,” he pouted in faux sympathy, as if he wasn’t balls deep at the moment.
“I’m back now. Fuck the titans, I’ve always treated you better, haven’t I?” He’s fucking your ability to form coherent words right out of your throat, but he knows your answer when you squeeze around him.
“Jay!” you moaned into his palm. Your cunt was squelching embarrassingly loud with each thrust, thighs shaking so hard you for sure would’ve fallen over if he wasn’t holding you up. Every drag of his cock in you hit the perfect spots, just like he remembered you love.
“You don’t even care that I’m red hood, do you?” he asked, his tone full of confidence. “Nah, you don’t. So fucking wet, does my suit get you off princess?” 
He moved his hand to play with your clit, getting it soaked with your fluids. You were too cock-drunk to lie bite back, just nodding desperately and mewling out something akin to a yes.
He smirked. “Pussys sucking me in the same too, fuck- I missed this. I missed you.”
He acted cocky when he was fucking you like this because it’s the only way he was sure you even wanted to be around him. Not much to complain about when his big dick is ravaging you, no?
Deep down he always felt right at home with you. He wouldn’t admit it, but he would give up red hood for you. He’d give up anything for you, actually. Nothing mattered as long as you were with him. And he wasn’t letting you go this time.
With the ministrations on your clit and him pounding into you, it wasn’t a surprise when that knot in your stomach came undone quickly. Especially not with how many failed orgasms you had with your fingers, pretending it was him.
Ever attentive, he noticed immediately. “You gonna come, baby? Try not to get any on the new suit.” He winked, as if you were gonna squirt for him. (You have, many times.)
The cherry on top was when he unexpectedly flipped his mask back down and leaned in to whisper right into your ear with that deep voice, “come for me”
And you were gone. You came with a cry of his name, eyes rolling back and toes curling. Your pussy gushed all over his dick, forming a white ring around it that you could see every time he slammed his hips.
Seeing your pretty face so euphoric was what sent him over the edge, and grudgingly he pulled out, pearly white cum shooting all over your stomach.
You spent a minute regaining your breath while he pressed gentle kisses all over your throat. He only let up when you whined at the slight pain of the pressure on your newly forming hickeys. He tucked himself back into his pants and re-adjusted his belt. You were wondering if he planned on just leaving until he took his coat off and wrapped it around you.
He moved you so you were set down properly on the back of his motorcycle and then stepped on. You instinctively laid against his back, resting your head on his shoulder and he admired you with pure adoration.
“Wrap your arms around me babe,” he hummed, affectionately rubbing your thigh that was pressed to his.
When your brain finally caught up to what was happening you gave him a confused look.“Wha- wait! Where are we going?” 
He looked at you like you were crazy for even questioning it. “Home,” he laughed, “what? Did you think death was gonna do us part, baby?”
473 notes · View notes
theminecraftbee · 8 months
Text
Tango makes a terrible, terrible face as he walks into Grian's new creation. Bit rude, he thinks that is, but whatever. Grian waves his arms out, getting ready to show Tango more than he'd shown him when the practice room was still in-progress, when Tango says:
"What did you do to it?"
"Huh?"
Tango shudders. He folds his arms over himself and looks at Jellie the ravager. "What did you do to it. To this place. Why is it... warm?"
"I mean, it's not really warm, see it's all white so it actually doesn't retain heat very well, even with the froglamps, so I had to do some work to make sure the temperature was appropriate for heavy physical activity while not risking frostbite the way the actual dungeon does, and..."
Grian trails off.
"The point is that it's mostly just, I don't know, mild temperature? Unnoticeable temperature? The fact you commented on it is weird."
There's a strangely echoing quality to Tango's voice as he steps back again, against the door to the practice room. "It's clean."
"Yeah. I mean, that's the aesthetic, isn't it? Wiped clean of everything but the ravager, the water, and the drowned. None of the distractions. Good for practicing, you know?" Grian squints. "You should like it. You said you'd like it. Wanted people to be able to practice so they'd do better at the dungeon."
Tango shudders again. "You've wiped clean the ravagers, too. I can't... touch her."
"What?" Grian says, baffled.
"What have you done to this place," Tango says.
"Listen, I won't have you insulting my clean room," Grian says. "I cleaned it of all the dungeon bits. It's nice and easy and white and understandable. I won't have you corrupting it."
Hm. Not sure where that one came from, he realizes. Probably a bad sign. He'd certainly guess as much from Tango, who is staring at him with something akin to horror.
In a voice that echoes like a card readout, Tango says: "You won't do this in the dungeon. You'll feed us what's left from this. Or I'll have to ask you to move it."
Grian rolls his eyes. "Geez, yeah, I won't touch the actual dungeon! I already broke the sound test room, I'm not breaking any really important redstone. Now, do you want to see the drowned dodging room or not?"
"I'm horrified to find out what happened to the drowned, if this is your ravager."
Grian looks between Jellie's blank stare and Tango and throws up his hands. "Nothing! I did nothing to her! I have no idea what you're on about!"
"It's like you bleached their insides," mutters Tango. "Bleached everything. It's not natural."
"Not natural? Like you're one to talk!"
"I need to know. Show me," Tango says.
"Right then. Take off your armor first, I don't want Jellie getting thorned or something, then let's practice some dodging and get in there. Then you'll see this is a perfectly normal set of eerie white rooms and leave me alone, right?"
Tango makes a face.
"I don't know why I bother. Honestly. You'd think I'd done something weird," Grian says, and then neither of them talk much, on account of the ravager trying to chew their faces.
928 notes · View notes
en-dazedafterdark · 10 months
Text
meddle about (with me)
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READ PART 1 HERE
PAIRINGS: ex! heeseung x reader x fwb! sunghoon (but this is very very heavily sunghoon focused, heeseung is barely in it lol)
GENRE: smut, porn with plot, angst, attempted fluff
SYNOPSIS: sleeping with your ex is complicated enough without having to deal with your growing feelings for your friends with benefits
WARNINGS: protected sex (for once) but also unprotected sex (stay safe!), oral (m receiving), shower sex, mentions of alcohol and drinking, this switches povs so many times you may get whiplash but i also wanted to get in sunghoon’s head for this one, i still don’t know how to do warnings
WORD COUNT: 11.9k
A/N: likes, reblogs and any interactions are appreciated <3 i’m not super happy with how this turned out cause i overthought it a lot but let me know if you guys like it!
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Sunghoon wasn’t usually the type to be so self destructive. He liked to keep things in perspective, to know when it was time to move on and to know when to take a step back. He always prided himself on being the kind of person that was in control, that could push his feelings aside when he needed to. He always thought he was better than this.
So how the fuck did he end up in this position?
He hadn't meant for it to happen. He knew he should have backed off the moment he had woken up next to you for the first time, knew that it had been a bad idea from the start. You were already dealing with enough and he knew it wasn't right, knew that he shouldn't do this to you.
But then he woke up and your lips were still on his mind. You were still there in his arms, your hair tickling his skin and the scent of your perfume in his nose. You were still so close that he could feel your heart beating next to his, could hear your breath when you let out a small sigh. It made him so fucking happy that he thought he might lose his mind.
He was an idiot. He knew that. He had known this was wrong, known that this would never end well. You were his best friends ex and he had no right to get involved with you. Bro code and all that bullshit.
“You're a fucking idiot Hoon," Sunghoon whispered. He leaned back on his palms, his eyes trained on you as he looked down at your face. Your hair was still messy, your eyes still puffy as you slept. Your lips were parted and your skin was flushed.
He let out a groan, knowing that this had been a terrible idea.
You stirred slightly, making him suck in a deep breath. You moved your head, letting out a small whimper and he bit his lip to keep himself from groaning.
You were so beautiful that it made him ache. 
“Heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with Y/N lately.” Heeseung had said that night at the bar, right before you had sauntered in with your friends as if you were summoned by their words. Heeseung had taken a long drink, his eyes burning into him.
He had laughed, trying to play it off as he could feel Heeseung glaring at him. He knew he couldn't tell him exactly how much time you spent together - or worse, what you did when you did spend time together. 
“Yeah, she and I are friends. Why do you care so much about her anyways? You broke up with her.”
Heeseung shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't worry about her."
Sunghoon had looked at Heeseung then, his brow furrowing as he tried to understand what was going through his head. He wasn't sure what to make of it, wasn't sure why Heeseung had said it.
"Just be careful with her," Heeseung said, putting his beer down. "She's going through a lot."
Sunghoon had scoffed, shaking his head. "You're telling me that?"
Heeseung's jaw had ticked, but he said nothing more. Sunghoon wasn't stupid. He knew Heeseung well enough to know when something was wrong, knew that there was something in his best friend's mind that he didn't understand.
“Why did you break up with her if you care about her so much? You treated her like shit Heeseung. You left her without so much as a word. What the fuck did she ever do to you?"
"You don't understand-"
"No," Sunghoon interrupted. "I don't."
Heeseung's face had gone dark. "We're done talking about this."
That was when Sunghoon noticed you. You had been with your friends, all of you laughing loudly and sharing drinks with other people. You were so pretty that Sunghoon couldn't take his eyes off you. You wore a skirt, your long legs on full display as you laughed.
Heeseung had looked at him and Sunghoon had seen the jealousy on his face. He had wanted to laugh, knowing how fucked up the situation was.
"She looks good," Sunghoon said, still staring at you. "Doesn't she?"
Heeseung had cleared his throat. "I'm gonna head home."
"So early? Come on, stay."
Heeseung shook his head. "I'm tired."
"You sure you're not just running away from Y/N?"
Heeseung had glared at him. "I'm not running from anything. I'll see you tomorrow."
He had gotten up and left, leaving Sunghoon alone in the bar. Sunghoon took another gulp of his drink, not noticing the way you had disappeared from the bar before Heeseung had left. 
He didn’t know if he regretted following Heeseung out of the bar or not. He had just wanted to talk to him, to understand what the fuck was going on. 
He really was not expecting to see Heeseung with you, to see him kissing you or to hear your quiet moans.
Sunghoon was jealous. It was a strange feeling for him and he wasn't sure he liked it. He had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Heeseung and when he saw him kissing you he knew he had to have you too. So when Heeseung had offered to share you with him - of course he said yes.
He wasn't stupid enough to think this was going to end well. He knew you still had feelings for Heeseung, knew that you still cared for him. He couldn't even begin to imagine how you felt after Heeseung had left you and how fucked up everything had gotten between the three of you.
But fuck, did you feel good.
Sunghoon leaned forward, watching you stir again. You let out a groan, moving your head. He reached out, pushing your hair out of your face. You opened your eyes slowly, blinking up at him as if you didn't know where you were.
"Hi," Sunghoon whispered.
You whimpered, closing your eyes. You took a deep breath before your eyes opened again. You blinked at him, your eyes softening.
"How are you?" he asked.
"Sleepy," you whispered.
Sunghoon smiled. "It's still early."
You turned your head, looking over at the clock. It was only a few minutes after six in the morning. You rolled back onto your back, staring up at him. Sunghoon ran his fingers down your arm, staring at you.
"How do you feel?" he whispered.
You let out a sigh. "Tired. A bit sore."
"Good or bad sore?"
You bit your lip. "Good."
Sunghoon nodded, his lips curling into a smile. "You were really loud last night."
You blushed, covering your face with your hands. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he said. "I like it."
"Stop," you whispered.
"I can't help it," he said. "You just sound so good."
"Stop," you whined in embarrassment.
He laughed, pushing your hands away from your face. "It's the truth."
You whined, hiding your face with a pillow. You turned on your side, hiding yourself from him. You were still blushing and Sunghoon was trying his hardest not to smile as he stared at you.
"Do you want me to get you something to eat?" he asked. "I can make you some food if you want. Or do you want me to run you a bath? You can soak for a while and then I'll make you something to eat."
"I don't want to move," you murmured into the pillow.
"Okay," Sunghoon said. "I'll get you some water. Maybe a few Advil for your headache too."
“How did you know I have a headache?”
He leaned down, kissing the back of your neck. He placed another kiss on your shoulder as you shivered.
"Just a guess." moo omg im sorry idk what this was
You pushed your hands into the pillow, trying to get yourself under control. You could feel his lips on your skin, feel the way his fingers were dragging along your spine as he kissed you. He reached the nape of your neck, placing a kiss on your skin.
"What are you doing?" you whispered, pushing back against him.
Sunghoon nipped your earlobe, letting out a quiet groan. "I want to take care of you."
You swallowed hard, closing your eyes. You didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say as he kissed the nape of your neck. You were still exhausted and still in a little bit of pain from last night, but fuck if it didn't make you wet.
"I'm so tired," you said.
"Then I'll stop," he said, placing a kiss on your skin. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to force you into something you don't want."
"You're not."
"I'm not?" He pushed back, letting you roll onto your back. You stared up at him, your eyes wide as he looked down at you.
"I mean..." you licked your lips. "I didn't say I didn't want you."
"But you're tired?"
You nodded. "I feel like I can't keep my eyes open."
“Then let me do everything," he said, leaning down and kissing your forehead. He grabbed your hands, placing a kiss on each palm before he placed them over your head. "I'll take care of you."
You stared up at him, letting him kiss your skin as he did so. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself from pushing your hips up as you felt yourself getting wet.
"You're so pretty," he said. "It makes me crazy."
"Hoon-"
"Just let me touch you," he whispered, trailing his lips down your skin.
You bit your lip, nodding. "Okay."
Sunghoon let out a low groan, placing another kiss on the skin of your neck before he placed another on the base of your throat. He continued to trail his lips along your skin, making you squirm as he moved down your chest. You kept your hands where he had put them, moaning quietly when he placed a kiss on your nipples.
"Hoon-"
He smirked, kissing your breasts as he nipped your skin. You groaned, arching your back as he wrapped his mouth around one of your nipples, his fingers circling around the other.
You moaned again, unable to stop yourself as he licked your nipples and squeezed your breasts. You gasped, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as Sunghoon continued to kiss your skin.
You whined, gasping out when he began to kiss your stomach. He kissed you slowly, leaving you panting. He placed his hands on your hips, holding them tightly as he kissed down your bellybutton. You whimpered, watching him as he kissed your hipbones.
"You're so pretty," he murmured. "You're so fucking beautiful."
You bit your lip, letting out a small groan. You covered your face, feeling embarrassed from his compliments.
Sunghoon smirked, leaning back up. You opened your eyes, looking up at him as he grabbed your wrists.
"I want to see your face."
You looked up at him obediently, letting him place kisses on your wrists and your palms. You stared up at him, letting him pull your arms from your face. He placed a kiss on your forehead and then another on your eyelids.
He leaned down, kissing you softly, his lips molding to yours. You kissed him back, moaning quietly as he licked your lips. You parted them, letting his tongue lick yours and you reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck. He moved his hips, grinding his crotch against you as you kissed him. You gasped into his mouth, opening your eyes.
He stared down at you, his eyes dark. "I can stop if you want."
"Don't you dare."
Sunghoon grinned, leaning down and kissing you again. You moaned into his mouth, pushing your hips up against his. You were still sore, but you didn't care.
You let Sunghoon pull your arms over your head, holding you in place as he kissed you. He rolled his hips again, moaning quietly as you kissed him. You could feel his cock, hard in his boxers as he moved on top of you.
"Please-" you whispered, unable to hold back any longer. "I need you."
He groaned, trailing kisses down your neck as he grinded against you. "You'll get me. I'm not going anywhere."
You shook your head, rolling your hips. You wanted more, wanted all of him as you kissed him again. You felt him place his hand between your legs and you spread them, whining as he pressed against your pussy.
You had been wet since you woke up, but he was making it worse. He rubbed his finger against your pussy, letting out a groan. He kissed your neck again, his hips rolling against you as you pushed against him.
You were already so sensitive from last night, but it didn't matter. You were so turned on that you couldn't stand it anymore. You wanted to come, wanted to come so badly that you would probably be able to pass out.
Sunghoon pressed his finger against your clit and you gasped, crying out quietly. You spread your legs wider, wrapping them around his waist as he kept you pinned down.
You rolled your hips, wanting more as you panted. Sunghoon was moving his fingers over you slowly, making you moan out as you moved your hips. You were already so worked up and you felt like you could come any second.
He rubbed a bit harder, making you whine. You were so close, so close that you couldn't stand it anymore. You opened your eyes, looking at him as he stared down at you.
"Stop teasing me," you moaned, clamping down on his fingers with your thighs. "Fuck me, please."
He bit his lip, staring down at you. He let go of your arms, pulling his boxers off. You watched him as he grabbed a condom out of your bedside table. He placed it over his cock, leaning down and kissing you. You opened your mouth, letting him kiss you as he moved against you again. You pushed your hips up, feeling him press against your entrance. You reached up, running your fingers through his hair as he pressed into you.
He groaned, pushing into you slowly. You wrapped your legs around him, gasping as he filled you up. He felt bigger than last night, stretching you out and you were already so worked up that you felt like you could come with a single thrust.
You moaned, feeling him spread you wide. He pulled back, thrusting into you again and you squeezed your eyes shut, gasping. You arched your back, wrapping your arms around him. He kissed your neck, moving slowly and you whimpered as he picked up speed.
He groaned, grinding against you and you opened your eyes, looking up at him. He was staring at you, watching you as he moved. You were so worked up that you couldn't keep your eyes open, your breath hitching in your throat. He squeezed your ass, pushing into you harder and you cried out, digging your nails into his skin.
"You're so good," he murmured, kissing you again. "So tight and so fucking beautiful."
"Oh god-"
Sunghoon let out a moan, burying his face in your neck as you moved your hips up to meet him. He moved his hands up your body, gripping your waist tightly as he thrust into you.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him close to you. You rolled your hips along with his, feeling him spread you wider as he moved his hips. You could hear his breath on your neck, feel the way his hair was tickling your face as he groaned.
He felt so good, moving slowly as you moved with him. He grabbed your thigh, moving it to his shoulder. You were completely spread for him now and he leaned down, placing a kiss on your thigh as you moaned.
"So fucking gorgeous," he murmured against your skin.
You clenched around him, feeling him press against your G-spot as he thrust into you. He moved so slowly, his fingers digging into your skin. You felt so close, so close to coming and he knew it too. He kept pressing against that spot, making your thighs shake.
He kissed you, swallowing your moans. You moved your hands down his back, digging your nails into his back as you approached your high. You were so close that you didn't want to move, didn't want to do anything but keep him inside of you.
Sunghoon leaned down, kissing your shoulder as he kept thrusting into you. He was moaning softly into your ear, groaning as you clenched around him. He picked up the pace, moving faster and you cried out, squeezing your eyes shut as he fucked you.
"Come on," he murmured in your ear. "Come for me."
"Hoon-" you whined, biting your lip. You felt the tears spring into your eyes, felt your chest start to tighten. "I'm going to come."
"Good girl," he whispered in your ear. "Do it. I want you to come all over my cock."
"Oh my god," you whispered, covering your face with your hands. His words were enough to push you over the edge. You opened your mouth, crying out as you came all over his cock. You felt him move faster, fucking you through your orgasm.
He groaned, thrusting into you a few more times before he stilled inside of you. You let out a quiet whimper, letting him take your arms off his back and move you into his arms. He held you close, kissing your face and neck as you came down from your high. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck as he placed a kiss on your head.
You slowly untangled your legs from around him, whining as you felt his cock slide out of you. Sunghoon pressed a kiss on your cheek, letting go of your waist and you slowly opened your eyes, looking up at him.
He was smiling down at you and you could feel your face start to burn.
"What?" you whispered.
"Nothing," he said.
You frowned at him, watching as he pulled the condom off and threw it into the waste bin. You sat up slowly, feeling your body ache as you did so. You bit your lip, watching him as he grabbed some tissues to clean himself off.
You leaned back on your elbows, watching him. You wanted to say something, wanted to ask him why he had been smiling, but you couldn't find the words.
You didn't know what you were feeling right now.
You felt good, of course. You had just had sex with someone and it had been amazing. But there was still this tight feeling in your chest that you didn't understand.
A feeling of guilt, maybe.
You had told yourself that you would be okay with this, that this was all just no strings attached. But as you stared at Sunghoon, as you looked at his smile as he leaned down and kissed you, you knew you were wrong.
The lines between no strings attached and real strings attached were blurrier than you thought.
"I think you should leave."
Sunghoon looked up, his smile slipping off his face. "What?"
"I think you should go," you said. You pulled the blanket up higher, looking away from him.
"What?" Sunghoon repeated.
"I'm tired," you said. "I just want to sleep now."
Sunghoon watched you for a moment, before he let out a sigh. "Okay."
He pulled on some clothes, staring at you as you lay in bed. He grabbed his keys, his wallet, and his phone before he left, closing the door behind him. You let out a shaky breath, rolling over onto your back.
This was for the better. Waking up together, showering together, eating together… that wasn’t what you both had signed up for. What you wanted wasn’t a relationship. What you wanted was a distraction.
That was it.
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It became easy to pretend that what had happened between the three of you never happened. It was like Heeseung had never come back into your life at all. 
For days afterwards you had waited for a text, a call, anything to come from Heeseung but nothing ever came. There was no explanation, no apology, nothing.
You should have been angry. You should have been furious. Instead, you felt sad. You didn't know why you were sad, but you felt so empty. You were trying to go about your day to day business, trying to convince yourself that everything was fine when you knew it wasn't.
Sunghoon avoided the topic as well. You were both trying to pretend that nothing had happened, but you knew that Sunghoon was lying when he said it was okay. He wasn't okay, and neither were you.
It was obvious to you that Sunghoon’s feelings had started to change. 
What was just casual sex became more as he asked you to hang out with him more. He always had something to do with you, whether it was just hanging out in his room or going to the store for some ice cream. He was always touching you, whether it be a hand on the back or a kiss on the cheek.
He even started to sleep over more. You had both agreed to sleep with each other whenever you wanted to, and at first you thought that was what it was, but you soon found out that Sunghoon started to spend the night more often than not.
He would text you good morning and good night. He would ask you if he could see you the next day and you would tell him that you couldn't because you were busy. You knew he knew you were lying.
You were scared. You knew that sooner or later you were going to have to address the fact that he was starting to have feelings for you, and you knew you couldn't handle it. You didn't want to hurt him or yourself, so you kept it bottled up.
So you dealt with it by pushing him away. 
“What are you doing this weekend?"
"Nothing."
"Wanna come to my place? We can watch a movie or something?"
"I can't."
It was always the same answers. You knew that Sunghoon didn't believe that you were busy when in reality, you were just too scared to see him. He seemed hurt, but he never said anything about it. You were thankful for that, but at the same time you hated yourself for pushing him away.
It didn’t really help that your first instinct whenever you were drunk or lonely (or both at the same time, more often than not) was to text Sunghoon.
And Sunghoon was there for you every time.
He came running whenever you called, eager to hold you and kiss you and please you in any way that he could. You hated yourself for being so desperate for attention that you would go to him over and over again, and he always accepted you.
It wasn't enough for you.
You needed to forget about Heeseung. Sunghoon was the next best thing.
The only problem with this was that Sunghoon was also a distraction for you. Every time you were alone, you could feel your thoughts drift to him. It made it hard for you to concentrate on anything else when you knew he was around.
It had gotten so bad that you couldn't go a day without seeing Sunghoon, and it was driving you insane.
You thought you were over it. You thought that you once you were able to forget about Heeseung and his smile and his perfect hair and his perfect lips and his perfect hands and his perfect body and-
You took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose as you leaned against the wall. You had been home for two hours now and you couldn't stand being there any longer. You were too anxious.
So you did what you always did: called Sunghoon.
He picked up right away. "Hey. What's up?"
"I want to come over."
"Right now?"
"Yeah."
"Okay," he said, sounding confused. "Give me ten minutes and I'll come get you."
"Thanks."
You hung up the phone, leaning against the wall again. You ran your hands down your face, closing your eyes. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before you went to your room and changed.
You got out your keys, holding onto them as you waited for Sunghoon to pick you up. He knocked on the door ten minutes later. You opened it, stepping outside and he gave you a smile.
"I'll drive," he said.
You didn't argue. You got into his car, letting him pull away from the curb.
"What's the rush?" he asked. "You were really urgent over the phone."
You hesitated. "I just didn't want to stay home any longer."
He didn't say anything else. He just looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as you watched the road.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.
You swallowed, nodding your head. "Yeah. Just tired."
He seemed to accept this, and you both fell silent. The ride back to his apartment was the same as usual. He reached over and put his hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb over the skin as he drove. He didn't say anything when you placed your hand on his and squeezed, letting out a quiet sigh as you did so.
You felt better, but at the same time you felt guilty.
You shouldn't be here with Sunghoon. You shouldn't be with him because you knew you were going to break his heart.
But you couldn't stay at home, and you had nowhere else to go.
He parked his car in the driveway, getting out and opening your door. He held his hand out for you, and you placed your hand in his. He walked you up to his apartment, unlocking the door and opening it for you.
Sunghoon closed it behind you, looking down at you. "You want anything to eat or drink?"
You shook your head. "No, I'm good."
Sunghoon nodded. He turned to you, opening his arms in invitation and you moved as if on autopilot. You wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes and just breathing him in.
You stayed like that for a while, just holding each other as you stood in the doorway. You could hear the sound of the television in the background, but it wasn't too loud. It was quiet, and Sunghoon's arms were so warm.
He was always so warm.
You pulled away after a while, smiling up at him.
"Come on," he said, grabbing your hand. "I'll put on a movie."
You sat down on the couch as Sunghoon sat down beside you. He handed you the remote as he opened a beer, putting his feet up on the table. You picked something to watch, watching him as he sipped his beer.
He caught you looking at him and he smiled, raising an eyebrow. "What?"
"Nothing," you said, shaking your head. "I was just thinking."
"Thinking about what?"
You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. What were you supposed to say? That you were thinking about him and how he was always so sweet and kind and patient with you? You felt like that was crossing a line.
"I was just thinking that I like this," you said, gesturing to the TV. "I like hanging out with you."
"Me too," Sunghoon said, looking at you. “We haven’t really done this very often lately."
You felt guilt rise up in your chest. You couldn't remember the last time you had come over here.
"I've just been really busy," you said, avoiding his gaze. 
“But not too busy for sex huh?” he said, shaking his head. He reached down, pulling up your leg so he could rub his hands up and down your thigh.
You winced. You knew he wasn't mad, but he did sound hurt. You reached forward and took his hand, moving it so he was holding your hand. You linked your fingers with his, squeezing it.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, looking up at him. "I'm being selfish."
Sunghoon shook his head, squeezing your hand back. "It's fine."
"I'm sorry," you repeated, squeezing his hand again.
He let out a sigh, dropping his head down so it was resting on yours. "What are you sorry about?"
"I don't know," you said, watching your fingers intertwined with his. "I'm sorry about all the times that I'm rude to you."
"You're not rude," he said, and he lifted his head up, leaning forward and kissing your forehead. He pulled away, pressing a kiss to your nose and then your cheek before he kissed your lips.
You kissed him back, letting go of his hand as you moved closer to him. He wrapped an arm around you, kissing you deeper. He licked into your mouth, sighing against your lips as you put your hand on his chest, feeling the thump of his heart against your palm.
He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as you slid your hand up to cup the side of his neck.
"I should stop doing this," you whispered, opening your eyes.
He opened his eyes as well, tilting his head so he was looking at you.
"Doing what?"
You opened your mouth, before closing it. "Kissing you."
"Why?"
"Because it's not fair to you."
"It doesn't feel fair that you only want to kiss me when you're drunk or lonely or upset," he said.
You couldn't say anything. He was right. You leaned forward, resting your face in the crook of his neck. You felt Sunghoon's arms wrap around you, pulling you onto his lap.
“But you always come back to me," he whispered, rubbing your back. "That means something, doesn't it?"
"No strings attached," you said quietly.
"Is that all it was?" he asked. "Nothing more than you just using me to forget about him?"
You lifted your head up, looking at him. "I- I-"
You didn't know what you were going to say. You couldn't tell him that he was right and you had only used him as a way to get over Heeseung because you knew he wouldn't want to hear that.
He seemed to understand that, anyway.
"Look, it's fine," he said. He dropped his hand down your back, squeezing your ass. "You can use me however you need."
You swallowed, trying to calm down your breathing. He was still holding you tightly, but his expression had softened. You bit your lip, leaning forward and kissing his neck.
Sunghoon let out a groan, and he ran his hands up your back. He cupped your face, kissing you and you moved your hips, grinding down on his lap. He groaned again, opening his mouth as your tongues slid against each other.
You pulled away from him, sitting back. You moved so your knees were on either side of his thighs, pushing him back so he was lying down.
He put his hands on your hips, watching as you slid off the couch. You stepped towards him on your knees, undoing his belt as he looked up at you. You pushed his jeans down to his ankles before you stopped, kneeling down and pulling them off his feet. He watched you the entire time, lifting his legs up and kicking his jeans away as you did so.
You stared up at him, your eyes roaming down his body. You placed your hand on his thigh, squeezing the flesh between your fingers as you licked your lips. You could see the outline of his dick in his underwear, and it was already so hard.
You slid your hand up, moving closer to him as you stared into his eyes. You looked down, watching as you rubbed him over his underwear. His dick twitched, and Sunghoon let out a breath.
"Can I blow you?"
"Fuck," Sunghoon groaned, throwing his head back as he tangled his hand in your hair. "Yeah. You don’t have to ask me that.”
You smiled, sliding your hand down his underwear. You pulled out his dick, looking up at him again. You licked your lips, before you leaned forward, licking the tip of his dick. You sucked the tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it.
You heard him groan, and you slid him deeper into your mouth. He wasn't huge, but he wasn't small either. You ran your tongue along the underside as you slowly moved your head, letting your saliva drip down his dick. You could feel the veins against your tongue as you slid him out, opening your mouth wide so you could suck him in.
You bobbed your head on his dick, moving your head faster as you started to feel it throb in your mouth. You moaned around him, letting your saliva drip onto his balls. You looked up at him through your lashes and he bit back a loud groan at the sight. He put his hands back in your hair, tugging it back gently.
"You're so good," he breathed out, thrusting his hips upwards. You choked around him but you didn’t back down. You took him deeper, letting him fuck into your mouth.
He moaned as he looked down at you, letting his eyes rake over your body. "You look so fucking pretty like that."
You moaned in response, squeezing his thighs. He let out another loud groan as his dick twitched in your mouth.
You moved your head faster, looking up at him as you sucked his dick. He groaned, moving his hands to your shoulders.
"Fuck," he grunted, thrusting into your mouth again. "I'm gonna cum," he warned, and you moaned to let him know it was okay.
You moved faster, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked his dick. You could hear the obscene sounds of his dick in your mouth and you moved your hands down to his balls, massaging them. You could feel them tighten, and then you heard Sunghoon moan once more as he thrust one last time into your mouth.
You didn't have time to move away before he shot his cum down your throat, and you almost choked in surprise. You swallowed quickly, trying not to gag as he continued to shoot into your mouth.
"Fuck," he groaned, rubbing your shoulder. "Sorry."
You pulled away from his dick, opening your mouth to show him. He looked down at you, watching as you swallowed again before he looked up at you with hooded eyes.
"Good girl," he breathed out, pushing his fingers through your hair.
You smiled up at him, reaching up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. He looked at your hand before he reached forward, pulling you up. He sat you on his lap, wrapping his arms around you.
"You were so good," he whispered, and he placed his hand on your face, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. He leaned forward, kissing you and you kissed him back.
You sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pressed yourself closer to him, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of his warm lips on yours.
He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours as he smiled at you. "How about that movie?"
"Yeah," you nodded, sitting back. You watched him as he got up, reaching for the remote on the table. He pressed play on the movie, turning back to you and sitting down beside you again.
He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close as he turned his attention to the movie that was still playing on the screen. He pressed his lips to your temple and you closed your eyes, letting out a small sigh.
You let yourself relax against him, enjoying his warmth as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Sunghoon looked down at you, raising his eyebrows as he looked back up at the TV.
You fell asleep before the movie was even halfway over.
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“Hey, are you busy this afternoon?"
You looked up at Sunghoon, raising an eyebrow.
"For what?" you asked.
He grinned at you, shaking his head. "For anything."
"I have to go grocery shopping later," you said, pursing your lips. "But that's it."
He nodded, still smiling at you.
You gave him a curious look, tilting your head to the side.
"What is it?" you asked.
"Can we go somewhere?" he asked.
"Like where?"
"Like a date," he said, his grin growing. "A proper date. A real one."
You blinked at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
"Like a real date?" you asked. "Like...a first date?"
Sunghoon laughed. "Yes. Like a first date."
You didn't know how to answer. You stared at him for a while before you looked down. You could feel your heart start to race and you were sure that he could see it beating under your shirt.
"What do you say?" Sunghoon asked, squeezing your knee. "Is that a yes?"
"Yes," you said immediately.
He grinned at you, rubbing your knee again. "Let's go to lunch and then we'll do something. How does that sound?"
"Okay," you breathed out, still trying to get used to the idea of having a real date with him.
Sunghoon grinned again, leaning forward and kissing your cheek.
"Perfect."
You got ready before he picked you up, and you found yourself actually being excited about this date. You wanted to let your worries go for the day and just spend time with him.
You were excited. You wanted to go on a date with Sunghoon, you really did. But your mood shifted as soon as you saw the text that appeared on your phone, minutes before Sunghoon was supposed to pick you up. 
Heeseung: I need to talk to you.
Heeseung: can we meet?
You barely hesitated before you replied. 
You: where?
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You felt nauseous as you stood outside the café. You tried to look for him, but there were a lot of people there. You could see the tables inside, but you couldn't see Heeseung.
You didn't want to do this. You were going to walk away.
You felt your phone buzz in your hand, and you looked down at it. You had a message.
 Heeseung: I'm at the table outside.
You looked around, finally finding him. He was sitting at a table outside, looking through the menu as he waited.
You could feel yourself get nervous as you made your way over, and you didn't know what to do. You didn't know what you were going to say.
You took a deep breath as you sat down across from him, placing your phone down on the table.
He looked up from the menu, meeting your eyes as he smiled softly. "Hey."
"Hi."
You fidgeted, staring at the table.
"I wanted to apologize," he said, breaking the silence. "For what I did to you. For everything I put you through. You deserved better than that."
You said nothing.
"I just wanted to apologize and tell you that you don't have to worry about me anymore," he said. "I'm not going to come near you or bother you again."
You felt yourself calm down a bit, and you looked up at him.
"You’re really an asshole, Lee Heeseung."
He laughed, shaking his head. "I know."
You stared at each other for a while, not saying anything. You couldn't figure out why you were there, but you didn't want to leave.
"Why are you doing this?" you asked, sighing.
He shrugged. "I just...I just feel like I need to say it."
You stayed silent, pursing your lips.
“And truthfully… I don’t think I can face Sunghoon again if I don’t say this.”
You frowned at that. Why couldn't he face Sunghoon again?
"What do you mean?"
He stared at you, before looking down at his lap. He shook his head.
“Hoon would kill me if I ever hurt you again. And he'd be right to. So I'm just trying to make sure that I don't."
"Hurt me again? Or be killed by Sunghoon?
"Both I guess," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
You stared at him for a moment before you started laughing.
"What?"
You shook your head, still laughing.
"Hoon wouldn't kill you. He’s too soft."
"You think?" Heeseung said, and you could see the hint of a smile on his lips. "I think he would."
"How come?”
He shrugged. "Because he loves you."
You stared at him for a moment, not knowing how to respond.
"Why are you telling me this?"
He looked down at the table, running his fingers over the edge of it.
"I want you to know the truth. I want you to know how I feel," he said. "And I want you to know that I don't want you to come back."
"Excuse me?" you said, and your voice was much harsher than you intended it to be.
"I mean," Heeseung said quickly. "I want you to move on and I don't want to drag you down."
"That's rich, coming from you," you muttered, looking away from him. "Especially since you're the reason I feel so depressed and sad."
He winced.
"But thanks for that,” you snapped. "I really needed to hear that."
You crossed your arms, pursing your lips.
"Look, I'm not trying to be a jerk-"
"Then stop talking."
You were really mad now. You felt tears starting to form in your eyes.
"You're not going to make this better for anyone by saying this," you said, clenching your fists. "It's too late for you to make it right. So why don't you just keep your mouth shut."
He said nothing, and you took a deep breath. You were surprised to realise that your heart didn’t hurt as much you thought it would. You were still upset, but the pain was gone.
"Just leave me alone," you muttered, picking your bag up. You stood up, trying to calm yourself down as you made your way out of the café.
You had almost forgotten about your date when you got home and the sight of a distraught Sunghoon outside your door took you by surprise.
"Where were you?" he asked immediately, pulling you into a hug. He pulled you against him tightly, and you wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes as he squeezed you. “I’ve been worried sick.”
You felt the guilt sink over you. You hadn't even thought about your date. You hadn't even considered how Sunghoon would feel. You had been so caught up in seeing Heeseung that you had completely forgotten.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, clutching his shirt tightly.
"I was so worried," he said, pulling away from the hug. "You didn't even text me back and I called you so many times. Where were you?”
"I'm sorry," you repeated, and you could feel the tears forming in your eyes. "I just...I had to see him."
He stared at you, frowning. "Him?"
You nodded, letting out a shaky breath.
"Don't get mad," you said quickly. "Just don't. I had to see him, and that's it. I'm sorry."
His face hardened, and you saw his jaw clench.
"Who? Heeseung?"
You bit your lip, nodding your head again.
"I needed to see him," you said again, looking down. "He told me some things and I wanted to hear them from him. I don't know if he meant to or not, but he said-"
"Don't tell me," Sunghoon snapped, cutting you off. "I don't want to know. It doesn't matter."
"Hoon-"
"I don't want to know what he had to say," Sunghoon said, his voice louder. “It doesn’t matter anyways. No matter what shitty thing he says or does, you always go back to him. He keeps doing this to you, and you keep letting him."
He pushed past you and you reached out for him, but he moved out of your reach. You could see him running a hand through his hair, his fists clenched by his sides.
"I don't even know why I'm surprised," he said, shaking his head. "He's going to keep coming back. He's going to keep using you-"
"No-"
"-and I'm just going to sit back and watch it happen again," he snapped, and he turned around to look at you.
"That's not true!"
"Is it?" he shouted, taking a step towards you. "It is! All I am is a distraction for you!"
"Sunghoon-"
"I'm sorry for doing this," he said, cutting you off. "I'm sorry for putting up with it all."
You didn't know what he was talking about. You didn't understand where this was all coming from.
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "But this isn't working for me anymore."
"What isn't?"
"This," he said, gesturing between the two of you. "Us."
You were so confused right now. You really didn’t want to believe what was happening. 
"What are you saying?"
"I don't want to be your distraction anymore," he said. "I'm sorry. I just can't be around you right now."
You felt your heart drop and you took a step towards him.
"Hoon-"
"I'm sorry," he said again.
He turned away from you, walking down the hall. He walked quickly, his back straight as you tried to keep up with him.
"Hoon wait-"
He ignored you, walking faster. You kept pace with him, trying to keep up as he made his way down the stairs. He didn't look back, didn't say anything to you as he walked down the sidewalk.
You stood in the doorway, watching as he walked away from you. You wanted to run after him, to pull him back and demand to know why.
But you knew that you weren't going to.
He didn't look back. He didn't even slow down as he walked away, leaving you alone.
You could feel the tears start to run down your face. 
You didn't even realise how much you cared about him until you couldn't see him anymore.
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Sunghoon was a wreck.
He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown on the floor, stomped on, and then tossed into the garbage.
It was his own fault really. He had known this was going to happen. He had known from the moment he agreed to let himself fall for you. He was a fool.
“That’s it, I’m tired of you moping around the house."
Sunghoon looked up at Jay, blinking.
"What?"
"You heard me," Jay said, shaking his head. "You need to get up and go get laid or something.”
"I'm not interested," Sunghoon mumbled, lying back down on his bed. He rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore Jay.
"I don't believe that," Jay said, leaning over to smack the back of Sunghoon's head. "You've been moping around the house for two weeks. It's time to get over her."
"Get out of my room," Sunghoon groaned, clutching the pillow tightly. "I'm sleeping."
"You haven't been sleeping."
Sunghoon glared up at Jay, shoving the pillow away and sitting up.
"What do you want?" he snapped.
Jay leaned back in his chair, giving Sunghoon a grin. "I want you to go out with me tonight."
Sunghoon glared at him, rubbing his temples. "Why?"
"Because we haven't hung out in a while," Jay said, shrugging his shoulders. "We can get drinks or something."
Sunghoon looked away from Jay, shaking his head. He didn't want to go out and have fun. He didn't want to hang out with people. He didn't want to do anything.
"Look, you need to get out of the house," Jay said, sighing. "You're only going to make yourself worse. You need to move on."
"Move on?" Sunghoon said, and he let out a humourless laugh. "I haven't even seen her in a while."
"But you're still thinking about her," Jay said, his voice softer. "And I think you need to move on."
Sunghoon couldn't find the words to reply.
"Come on, it'll be fun," Jay said, clapping his hands. "We'll go out and get drinks, and maybe we can even pick up some girls."
Sunghoon felt his chest start to tighten.
"It'll be fun."
Sunghoon took a deep breath, letting his body fall back down on his bed. He turned to the side, closing his eyes as he sighed.
He heard Jay sigh.
"Okay," Jay said, getting up from his chair. "If you don't want to come-"
"Okay, okay, I'll go."
Jay grinned, leaning over to pat Sunghoon on the head.
"Good. I'll see you tonight then."
He left Sunghoon's room and Sunghoon groaned into his pillow.
It was going to be a long night.
"So what do you want to do?"
Sunghoon took another sip from his nth drink (he had already lost count), shaking his head. He looked around the bar, before looking back at Jay. "I don't know. This is a waste of time."
"It's not a waste of time," Jay said. "It's fun to go out and see people."
"I guess," Sunghoon said, sipping from his drink again.
"That girl in the back keeps looking at you," Jay said, nodding towards the corner of the room.
Sunghoon turned around, seeing the girl Jay was talking about. She was smiling at him, and Sunghoon gave her a nod. He looked away, sipping his drink again.
"Well?" Jay said. "Go over there and get her."
Sunghoon glanced at her again, before turning back to Jay.
"You're an asshole."
Jay laughed.
Sunghoon finished his drink, getting up. He ignored Jay as he left the table, walking towards the bar to get another drink.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. It was already bad enough that he had to be here. He didn't need Jay trying to push him into things.
"Hey."
Sunghoon turned around, seeing the girl from before. She had a drink in her hand and she was smiling at him. Shit. 
"Uh-"
"I'm so sorry if I'm being forward," she said, leaning forward and resting her hand on his chest. "But you looked like you were ready to leave and I just thought-"
"No, it's fine," he said quickly, shaking his head. He stepped towards her, letting her place her hand on his shoulder. "I was actually just leaving."
"Oh, well, do you want to get out of here then?"
She bit her lip, giving him a suggestive look.
"Um-"
"Or we could stay if you want?" she asked, and she pressed her hand on his chest.
Perhaps he was drunker than he had realised, or perhaps it was the way her fingers brushed over his skin, but Sunghoon couldn't find the strength to say no.
He looked at her again, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah. Okay."
"Yeah?" she asked, giving him a grin. "You're cute."
She grabbed his hand, dragging him through the crowd. She pushed past people, heading towards the door and Sunghoon tried not to get annoyed with her. She pulled him outside, stopping as she turned to him.
"Do you want to come to my place?" she asked, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.
"I don't think-"
She laughed. "Oh, I'm not offering to make you breakfast in the morning," she said, and she ran her hand down his arm, squeezing his hand. "You want to fuck, right?"
Sunghoon didn't say anything.
"Right?" she repeated.
"Yeah," he breathed out. "That's...that's what I'm here for."
"Okay, so let's go," she said, squeezing his hand. She started pulling him down the street, and Sunghoon let her.
He was in a daze. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about your laugh and your smile and how much he missed hearing your voice. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he missed your warmth.
He looked down at the girl in front of him, wondering how he had ended up here. She was nice, sure, but he knew this wasn't what he wanted.
He just wanted you.
"Wait."
She turned around, looking at him as she raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
He stared at her, and he was silent for a moment. He bit his lip, before he sighed.
"You're nice," he said, shaking his head. "But I don't want to do this."
She frowned at him, shaking her head. "You said-"
"I know," he said. "I know what I said."
He didn't give her an explanation. He didn't even look back at her as he walked away, leaving her standing in the street. He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking quickly as he tried to block out the sound of her yelling at him.
He felt like an idiot.
He was in the middle of an argument with himself when he arrived home. He didn't have the strength to get changed before he collapsed onto the couch, closing his eyes and hoping that he would fall asleep soon.
"What are you doing here?"
Sunghoon opened his eyes, turning his head.
You were standing over him, frowning at him. He sat up, trying not to look as shocked as he felt.
"What?" he asked.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, gesturing to the living room. His eyes started to come back into focus and slowly he realized he wasn't home. In his drunken daze he had come back to your apartment instead.
"Shit," he whispered, running his hands through his hair. "Fuck. I'm sorry."
You didn't say anything, just stood there with your arms crossed and you frowned at him.
He got up from the couch, trying to pull himself together as he grabbed his jacket from the floor. He couldn't remember even taking it off.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
“Are you drunk?” you asked, shaking your head.
He didn't say anything. He looked down, putting on his jacket and trying to push past you. He needed to get out of here before you made him say something that he would regret.
"Are you drunk?" you repeated.
He looked at you, sighing as he turned back around to face you.
"I am," he said, raising his hand to rub his forehead. He was suddenly so tired. "I was out with Jay and I just...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."
You were silent for a moment before you looked away.
“Stay here for the night."
Sunghoon didn't know how to respond. He stood there, staring at you for what seemed like an eternity. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears.
"Stay," you said again. "I'll get you a blanket and pillow."
"You don't have to," he said. "I can just go home-"
"Stay," a pause before you whispered. “Please.”
Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't bring himself to say no to you, no matter how much he wanted to.
He was too tired to argue anyway.
He dropped down on the couch, listening to you move around in your bedroom. He heard you walking back, before you came back with the blanket and pillow in your arms. You dropped them on the couch, reaching for him.
"Sit down," you said.
He did as you asked, and he let you push him back against the cushions. He let you cover him with the blanket, tucking it in around him.
You sat on the edge of the couch, leaning forward to place your hand on his cheek.
"Are you okay?" you asked softly.
He sighed, looking up at you.
"Are you okay?" he repeated.
You were silent for a moment before you let out a sigh. "No. I'm not."
He didn't ask why. He just looked down, staring at your hand against his cheek. He was tempted to place his hand on yours. He wanted to grab it and squeeze it and feel the warmth of your skin.
He didn't though.
"I’m sorry I couldn’t be Heeseung.”
It was only when he heard himself say that he realised he had even been thinking it.
He winced, and he closed his eyes tightly. He turned his head away from you, trying not to cry.
"Hoon-"
He shook his head, covering his face with his hands as he tried to breathe. He felt your fingers against his skin, and he held your hand. He turned his head, placing your hand against his cheek as he looked at you.
“I don’t want you to be Heeseung," you said softly.
Sunghoon blinked at you, swallowing the lump in his throat as he watched your eyes.
"What?"
"I don't want you to be Heeseung," you repeated. “I wanted you. Sunghoon. My Hoon.”
"Why?" he whispered. "You chose him-"
"I didn't."
Sunghoon didn't say anything.
"I didn't," you said again, squeezing his hand. "He just showed up and I was so confused and I couldn't think straight. And I know I messed up so many times but I didn’t know how to deal with it all. I didn't know what to do, so I-"
You broke off, taking a deep breath before you looked up at him again.
"I'm so sorry. I know I messed up but I couldn't-"
Sunghoon cupped your cheek with his hand, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. You pressed your face into his hand, letting out a shaky sigh.
"I missed you so much."
You nodded, closing your eyes as you let out another breath.
"I missed you too."
You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. He pulled you onto his lap, holding you tightly as you pressed your face into his chest. You pressed your cheek against him, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him tightly. He slid one arm around your waist, placing his hand on your back as he squeezed you tighter.
He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of your body against his. You were here in his arms again and he wasn't going to let you go.
"Don't leave me," he whispered, burying his face in your hair.
"I won't," you whispered back.
He took a deep breath, squeezing you again as he held you close.
"Never again."
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Sunghoon woke up with a head splitting headache.
He opened his eyes slowly, before letting out a groan. He closed them again, turning his face away from the sunlight streaming through the window. He covered his face with his arm, letting out a loud groan.
"Shit," he groaned again.
"Drink this."
Sunghoon lowered his arm, looking over to see you sitting on the edge of the couch, holding a glass of water and pills. He blinked at you, rubbing his eyes as he took the water and pills from you. He took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as he sat up slowly.
You sat next to him, grabbing his hand as he reached for the water. He downed it quickly, dropping his hand as you took the glass back from him.
"Thanks," he groaned, running a hand through his hair. He turned to you, squinting at you as you gave him a soft smile.
"Good morning," you said. "How do you feel?"
Sunghoon groaned again, rubbing his temples. "My head hurts."
"That's what happens when you drink a lot," you said, shaking your head. You reached for him, and he leaned his head against your shoulder. You ran your fingers through his hair, and he let out another groan.
"What time is it?"
"A little after ten," you said, and he could hear the smile in your voice.
"I have to get home and shower," he muttered, closing his eyes. "And change."
“You can shower here. And I still have some of your clothes.”
He looked up at you in confusion. “Did I leave my clothes here?”
You averted his eyes, suddenly very interested on the rug infront of the couch. “I uh... might have taken a few of your hoodies. And shirts. And a sweater and some shorts."
Sunghoon laughed, shaking his head. "Of course you did."
He reached forward, pulling you down onto the couch. You squealed in surprise as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as he pressed his face into your neck.
"I missed you," he murmured, placing a kiss against your skin.
You laughed softly, placing your hands on his chest. You pushed him back, meeting his eyes as you gave him a smile.
"I missed you too."
Sunghoon squeezed you again, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips. You kissed back, humming as you closed your eyes.
He pulled away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. 
“I would kiss you more but I really want to freshen up first. Do you want to join me in the shower?” he asked, giving you a suggestive look.
You laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully. "Sure. Let's get you freshened up."
Sunghoon laughed, letting you sit up. He let you grab his hand, leading him out of the living room and down the hall to your bathroom.
Sunghoon smiled at you as he watched you turn on the water in the shower, waiting for it to warm up. You grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head and tossing it into the laundry basket. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you reached behind you, undoing your bra. He watched as you pulled it off, tossing it into the laundry basket as well. You reached for your pants, slowly pushing them down your legs as you gave him a sly smile.
“What are you looking at?
He swallowed, shaking his head as he looked away. "Nothing.”
You giggled, turning back to the shower as you undid your pants, pushing them down and stepping out of them. You looked back at him as you slid off your panties, smiling at him as you reached up and undid your hair. You ran your fingers through it, letting out a sigh as you shook it out.
"Hoon."
"Yeah?"
"You’re still dressed. And you’re staring at me again."
"Right."
Sunghoon was starting to think that his brain-to-mouth filter wasn't functioning correctly today.
He pulled off his shirt, dropping it onto the floor before he slid off his pants and underwear. You watched him with a smirk on your lips and Sunghoon felt himself growing hard. He stepped into the shower, pulling you to him and kissing you as you laughed.
He could feel the water dripping down his back as you pushed him against the shower wall. He wrapped an arm around your waist, squeezing your ass with his other hand. You let out a giggle against his lips, pulling away to press your lips against his neck.
"Fuck, I missed you," Sunghoon groaned.
"I missed you too," you said softly.
"Show me," Sunghoon said, running his hands up your back. He grabbed your face with both hands, pulling you back for another kiss. You kissed him back, moaning softly against his lips as you pressed yourself against him.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him grab your ass again and lift you up. You gasped against his lips, wrapping your legs around him. He pressed you against the wall, pushing himself against you as he squeezed your ass again.
"Hoon," you moaned, sliding your hands down his shoulders and to his chest. You broke the kiss, looking at him with a smile on your lips.
"What?"
“I love you."
Sunghoon stopped, and you panicked. 
"Hoon-"
"Say that again," Sunghoon whispered, brushing a wet lock of hair away from your face.
You stared at him for a moment, biting your lip as you felt your heart start to race.
You took a deep breath, and you felt a smile spread across your lips. "I love you."
Sunghoon let out a breath, before he kissed you again. He pressed his lips against yours, kissing you deeply as you sighed against him. You held onto him tightly as he squeezed you again, grinding against you. He was so hard and you could feel the head of his dick pressing against your folds.
"Hoon," you moaned again, pulling away from him. You reached down, grabbing his dick and stroking him slowly. You could feel your pussy starting to grow wet, and you squeezed him again, moaning softly.
"Fuck," he groaned, resting his forehead against yours. He looked into your eyes, his own clouded with lust as he smiled at you. "You're gonna make me cum if you keep that up."
You bit your lip, continuing to stroke him as you gave him a coy look. You kissed him, sliding your hand down his chest. "Maybe that's the point."
"Oh? Is that so?" Sunghoon grinned, moving forward and kissing you again. "So you don’t want me to fuck you?”
You let out a moan as his dick pressed against your clit. "I want you to fuck me."
Sunghoon let out a deep groan, squeezing your ass with both hands as he kissed you again.
"Fuck, I love you," he moaned against your lips. He pulled away from you, reaching for your neck as he sucked a hickey on your skin. "I love you."
He lowered you to your feet, turning you around. He grabbed your waist, and you let out a gasp as you felt his dick press against you. He pushed your hair out of the way, kissing your back as he slid his hand down your front, reaching for your clit.
He rubbed it slowly, making you moan as he slid his other arm around you, holding you close to him. He pressed his lips against the back of your shoulder, and you arched your back as you let out a moan.
"Fuck," you moaned, trying to push back against him. He let out a laugh, continuing to rub your clit as he grinded against your ass.
You squeezed your eyes shut, letting out another loud moan. You felt him press his lips against your skin, and you could feel his smirk as he kept teasing you.
You could feel the head of his dick slide between your folds, and you moaned again as he rubbed against your clit.
He ran his hands up your front, squeezing your breasts before he moved them down again. He grabbed your waist, squeezing them tightly as he pushed you forward a bit. You placed your hands against the wall, leaning forward and bracing yourself as you felt him rub the head of his dick against your clit.
"Hoon," you moaned, closing your eyes as you felt his dick rub against you again. "Please."
He rubbed his dick between your folds, smearing your wetness around as he rubbed against your clit. You were getting impatient now, and you moved your hips a bit, trying to get him to move forward.
He let out a low growl, before he pressed the head of his dick into you.
"Ah," you gasped, letting your head fall forward.
You felt him start to move slowly, pushing himself into you inch by inch as you moaned his name. You clutched the wall tightly, letting out a loud moan as he continued to push himself into you. You felt him move your hair away from your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your neck.
"You're so tight," he whispered into your ear, before biting down gently on your skin.
You moaned again, leaning against him as he grabbed your waist. He pulled out, sliding back into you again and you gasped.
He slid out again, this time grabbing your ass and squeezing it tightly as he pressed himself into you again. He continued to thrust into you, and you moaned his name as you he out a low sigh. He grabbed your hair again, pulling it back as he started to move faster, fucking into you with a roughness you didn't expect.
"You feel so good," Sunghoon moaned. “Pussy made just for me."
You couldn't even respond. You were completely lost in the feeling of his dick sliding into you. You were so wet and you could feel your own slick on your thighs.
You moved your hips back, meeting his thrusts as he moved faster.
"That's it baby," Sunghoon whispered. "You feel so good around me."
You could feel your orgasm starting to build, and you let out another loud moan.
"So good," Sunghoon groaned, and he slid one hand down your front, rubbing your clit slowly.
"Hoon!" you cried out, moving your hips against his hand as he kept moving his hips. You could feel your pussy starting to clench around him and you moaned his name again.
"Fuck, you're close," he groaned, rubbing your clit faster. "I can feel you clenching around me."
"I'm so close," you cried out, leaning forward as he pulled you back by your hair. You braced yourself on the wall, closing your eyes as you felt yourself growing close. You felt him pull out of you suddenly, and you turned your head back to look at him.
"Hoon, what-"
He grabbed your hair, pushing you against the shower wall again. He slid back into you, pressing himself into you as you let out a moan.
He fucked into you hard, and you tried to look at him over your shoulder. He pressed his lips against your shoulder, moaning as he pushed himself deep inside of you. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as he fucked you.
"I love you," he said, his voice low and his breath hot on your neck. "I love you so much."
You bit your lip, moaning his name as he thrust into you again.
"That's it," Sunghoon groaned. "Call my name like that again."
You moaned his name again, arching your back as he continued to thrust into you. You were so close to coming now, and you felt your orgasm start to take over.
"I'm going to cum," you moaned, reaching back to grab onto his hand. "I'm going to-"
You felt him thrust into you again, and you felt your orgasm hit you. You moaned loudly, letting your head fall forward as he let out a loud groan.
"Fuck, you're squeezing my dick," Sunghoon growled. "You're so good at sucking me in."
You clenched around him, feeling him pull you back as he thrust into you again.
"Fuck!" he cried out, and you felt him twitch inside of you. You felt his cum shoot into you, and you clenched around him again, squeezing him tightly.
He let go of you, sliding out of you as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. You turned around to face him, placing your hand on his cheek. You looked up at him with a smile on your lips.
He gave you a tired grin, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours.
"Can never get tired of that," he muttered, giving you a wink.
"Shut up."
He laughed, and you shook your head. You pushed him backwards, grabbing the showerhead as you grabbed his arm and pushed him under the stream of water.
"Hey!" he shouted, trying to push you away as he laughed.
You laughed, turning the showerhead off before you pulled him back to you, kissing him as you slid your arms around him.
"So, I was thinking that we could go out to dinner tonight and then we could go see a movie," he said. “You still owe me a date."
You grinned, kissing his cheek. "Yeah? That sounds nice."
"Yeah?" he said, pulling you back into the spray of the shower. You let him push you under the water, letting out a laugh as he ran his hands up your back.
"I'd love that."
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mypoisonedvine · 10 months
Note
another idea for dr crane but i'm afraid it might be too similar to thoughtless so please just ignore if it is!!: from personal experience, being a patient of his who is seeing him bc of sexual trauma. fear of penetration due to previous sexual assault. and ofc he's all about exposure therapy. and you wanna trust him so so bad bc he wants what's best for you, he's encouraging you ("you deserve to embrace your sexuality, you get past this one barrier and you're free"), but you start to fight back. and he takes personal offense bc he's your doctor, why don't you trust his expertise? but then it starts to feel good~
idk i picture reader trying with a toy in front of him but he gets impatient sees she's struggling with going that extra step further so he takes control either with the toy or himself.
warnings: not actually that dark (I mean, it is cause he's her therapist lol but he's not nonconning her) but still manipulation, slightly medical kink?, praise kink
(oops this turned out pretty long how did that happen? lmao)
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"Did you try what we discussed last week?" he asked, and you pressed your knees together as you looked down and shook your head. "Really? You seemed very positive about it before."
"I was," you admitted. "It seemed really easy-- just sort of training myself, you know. But then I got home and... I guess it was a little overwhelming."
"Hm," he said, and you started to feel guilty for disappointing him. "That's interesting-- it seems like you were more comfortable here than at home. I figured it would be the other way around."
"Yeah, that would make more sense, I guess," you shrugged, "but-- I dunno..."
"Do you want to try again?" he wondered.
"I do," you admitted, "but I'm nervous that I'll start panicking again..."
"Then why don't you try here?"
You tensed up at just the suggestion; "Wouldn't that be... I mean, isn't that...?"
"I'm a medical doctor," he reminded you with a chuckle, "I've seen much worse. This is simply part of your treatment. I want you to get better."
You took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay," you decided. "Okay, I can try it."
"Great," he smiled, uncrossing his legs and resetting his clipboard in his lap. "We agreed before that you'd be more comfortable with your fingers than silicone dilators, is that still--?"
"Yes," you interrupted, "definitely. Feels too... clinical, otherwise."
He nodded, and there was a brief silence.
"So, do I just... start?"
"I'd like you to try," he said gently.
You noticed that his gaze never broke away from you, but you looked down into your lap as you started to slowly spread your legs. "So I just.. reach under my dress?"
"That should be fine," he encouraged. "There's nothing to be afraid of-- this is a safe space."
You nodded in agreement, pulling up your dress enough to reach into your panties. Sighing, you tried not to let nerves get the better of you as you pushed your lips apart with your fingers. But still, the anxiety was bubbling up, and you pressed the tip of your finger to your hole only to feel resistance alongside your distress. "I-- I don't think I can--"
"It's alright," he soothed, "start with the outside first-- stimulate your clitoris."
You choked on a laugh, still too nervous to look at him. "You really are a medical doctor..."
"What, too formal?" he chuckled. "Alright... rub your clit."
That shocked you even more than the clinical language; but it made you pulse inside, too. "O-okay..."
You pressed your fingers against the bud, trying to rub it, but it didn't really feel like anything-- like rubbing your elbow or something. Jonathan corrected you right away: "Not so hard," he said, "start gently."
"Sorry," you breathed, shutting your eyes.
"No-- it's fine," he assured, "I just want to help."
He was right, though; when you lessened the pressure and gently rubbed in circles, it started to feel good-- slowly, but surely. When your next breath came out shaky, you heard him hum with satisfaction.
"Is that better?" he asked.
"Yes," you answered, but you didn't mean for it to be a moan.
"I think you're ready," he informed you-- and something about his voice, it was lower than before, it was different... it was making you wet.
"Ready... for what?" you whispered, daring to open your eyes and see the darkness in his expression as he watched you.
"Ready to fuck yourself with your fingers."
"Oh," you sighed, feeling like you'd been punched in the gut-- in the best possible way. "Okay..."
"Just one to start," he encouraged, "put a finger inside yourself, nice and slow."
You sighed as you pressed the finger up to your hole again, smiling as you realized it was more open-- and wet-- than before. You gently pressed in further, finding some pressure but pushing through it until you were knuckle deep in yourself. You smiled happily; "I did it," you breathed, "oh my god, I-- I never thought I'd--"
"Don't stop," he cooed, "move it back and forth. If you do well enough, you can add a second finger."
You figured he meant it that you would be able to add a second finger, but it almost sounded like a bargain, like a reward. Do what I say and I'll let you add a second, or something. Surely that wasn't what he meant.
"A little faster," he encouraged as you pumped the finger. "That's it, very good."
You whimpered, biting down on your lip to hide your moan. You wanted him to say that again, to tell you that you were doing this correctly.
"Add the second now," he instructed, his own voice suddenly sounding a little hoarse and needy. "Stretch yourself out-- and tell me how it feels."
"It feels good," you panted as you started to add your second finger, whining at the stretch. "Fuck, I-- will they both fit?"
He chuckled a little-- a low, rough sound-- and promised you: "Yes, they'll fit. You can take a lot more than two fingers, with some patience."
You hadn't even imagined being able to do more than this-- for years, you hadn't been able to put anything inside you, and now here you were... fingering yourself in front of your therapist. "How much more?" you wondered, hardly imagining how it could be possible.
There was a long, long pause; you worried he hadn't heard you. Looking at him again, you found him watching with a tight jaw.
"How much more can I take, Dr. Crane?" you asked again.
"You can take anything I give you," he answered tensely.
A shiver ran up your spine; "F-fuck," you whimpered, and your walls pulsed around your fingers.
"You're going to come, aren't you?" he noticed, and you nodded. "Good."
You gasped.
"Very good," he egged you on, seeing the effect it had on you; your head tilted back as you pushed your fingers into yourself faster. "You're doing very well for me-- now I just need to see you come. I just need you to make yourself come."
"Yes, yes," you chanted, hips rocking, moans growing louder. "It feels good-- fuck, Doctor, I--"
"I know," he soothed, "just let it happen. Keep going. Come for me."
It hit you all at once, a heavy and numbing feeling that left you shaking on his couch; he purred out his praises, telling you how good you were doing, and it only made the feeling stronger.
When you exhausted yourself, you stilled; there was a moment of silence, just your panting filling the air, until you found the strength to meet his gaze again. He was smiling at you sweetly, looking oddly similar to how he always did at the end of a session. "That was incredible progress," he said proudly. "You should be very impressed with yourself."
You sighed as you nervously pulled your fingers out of yourself. "I-- do you have a tissue I can wipe these with?" you asked nervously.
"No need," he said, "you should taste it."
"Wh-what?" you choked out, your face even warmer than before.
"Just taste it-- I think you'll like it," he encouraged.
Though you hesitated for a second, you brought your wet fingers to your lips and gently licked off some of the sticky substance left behind.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"It's sort of strange," you admitted.
"It's an acquired taste," he shrugged, making your heart pound as you realized just from the look in his eyes that this was absolutely a taste he'd acquired... then again, there must have been a reason that he knew even better than you how to touch yourself and make you come.
Then, it was impossible not to imagine what he's like when he does this off the clock-- the way he touches and pleasures the women he takes to bed. You imagined him with his fingers inside lace panties, whispering in her ear about how good she was being for him; you imagined him pushing two inside and promising to give her more; you imagined him making her come, over and over, until he's satisfied and brings those soaked fingers to his lips and calling her delicious.
And even though you tried not to picture who that woman would be, you couldn't help but wonder if he'd like a woman like you... if you were the type he'd do that to, if you weren't his patient.
"Thank you," you blurted out. "I never thought I'd be able to... thank you. It's been a long time since I was able to feel that."
He nodded. "Thank you for trusting me," he replied. Glancing at the clock, he sighed a little through a polite smile: "Oh, look at that, we're out of time for today. This has been a really excellent session."
"Yeah," you agreed as you both stood up, "definitely."
"And next week, we can discuss the next steps in your recovery."
You raised your eyebrows when you heard that, already almost halfway out of the office. "Next steps?" you noticed.
"Yes," he agreed, "you made great progress, but there's still so much more for you to learn."
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starlitmark · 9 months
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Summary: Maybe you shouldn’t have pressed his buttons so hard… Pairing: brother’s best friend!Yunho x fem!reader Genre: smut Tropes: brother’s best friend au Rating: R 18+ Warnings: language, some crying  Smut Warnings: hate sex, choking, degradation, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, sub-dropping Word Count: 1,408 Note: we’ve reached the end of Arousal August! I hope you’ve all enjoyed this <3 thank you again to the amazing @mejuii for beta/proofing this!!
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Your relationship with Yunho has always been, we’ll say, strained. You can’t stand him despite him being your brother’s best friend and roommate. Something about his stupidly handsome face makes you want to scream. You had come over to their shared apartment with the understanding that Mingi would be there. He had told you he didn’t have anything to do today and that you would have your weekly sibling date today. Yet here you are with no Mingi on the premise. You can hear Yunho in his room doing who knows what. Weighing your options, you end up walking down the short hallway toward his room. You don’t even bother knocking on the doorframe when you get there. Taking one rather nasty look at Yunho, you sigh before speaking.
“Where’s Mingi?” you ask with a sharp tone.
“Hell, if I know. He’s not here, so you can see yourself out. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” he hisses, not looking up from his laptop.
“Very funny, Yunho. I know you know where he is.” You bite back.
“You’re so fucking nosey. Why don’t you just fucking leave?”
You dare to step into his room and give him a glare from where you were standing. You’re challenging him. He never does anything when Mingi’s around. Now that his best friend isn’t, you want to see if he will. With a smirk plastered on your lips, you walk further into the room and right over to his bookshelf.
“You read some shit books.” You state, running your finger along the spines of the books, “If you want something good to read, I guess I could give you better mat-”
Your words are stolen from your lips when you feel a hand grab your shoulder and spin you around. Yunho is not but a foot from your face. There’s a flame in his eye as he has you there pinned against the wall. After the initial shock, you’re back to where you were. You’re absolutely having too much fun pushing his buttons.
“Damn, Yunho. If you wanted to get me pinned to the wall, you could’ve just asked. Though, I doubt you’d be able to take care of me.” You provoke.
Yunho all but growls and wraps a hand around your throat. He doesn’t put any pressure on your neck, but the presence alone has your heart racing.
“I’m fucking tired of your little attitude,” he says far too calmly.
“What are you gonna do about it?” You fight back, still not daring to move. 
“You want proof I can take care of you?” He offers, slightly putting pressure on the sides of your neck.
“You mean just for me to be right about you not knowing how to? I’d love to.”
Before you can process it, you’re clothes are gone, and you’re pinned down to Yunho’s bed. One of his large hands is wrapped around your throat, causing you to reel in the sensation it’s causing. The other is holding your hip to ensure you don’t squirm too much. Yunho is thrusting into you at an animalistic pace, making you see stars even more. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan, though. How you’re holding your noises back, you have no idea.
“Come on, don’t you wanna let those moans out? Sound like a fucking slut while I fuck you?” he growls.
You shake your head, not trusting your voice in the slightest. 
“What? Can’t use your words? Are you too far gone that you can’t fucking speak?” He chuckles, “If I had known fucking you would get you to shut up, I would’ve done it a long time ago.”
His grip on your throat tightens as his thrusts become harsher. That’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. You let out a loud moan, and once that one escapes, they don’t stop coming. You beg and plead for anything. Yunho is still degrading you with his filthy words that your brain can’t comprehend at the moment. You doubt you’re saying anything intelligible at the moment, anyway. In hopes of getting yourself closer to your high, you attempt to roll your hips into his thrusts. Instead, you’re greeted with a sharp slap to your thigh before his hand reclaims its place on your hip.
“Fuckin’ slut.” he bites, “You take what I give you, understand?”
You nod.
“Use your fucking words. You seem to never shut up any other time.”
“Please!” you beg, tears springing from your eyes, “Please, Yunho! I’m so so close!” you manage to say between moans. 
“You think I’ll- fuck- I’ll let you cum that easily, whore?”
“Yunho, please.” you moan, “Want you to cum inside me.” 
“Oh, is that right?” he asks condescendingly.
“Please!” you beg again, scratching his shoulders.
That’s all it takes to trigger his orgasm. His hips stutter as he cums deep inside you. His sounds, combined with the sloppy thrusts, trigger your high. Your walls flutter around him, and your nails dig deeper into his broad shoulders. He pulls out in one sharp movement and watches how his cum leaks out of you. 
He’s about to walk out of the room when he feels a disturbance in the air. When he turns around, he sees you on the brink of tears sitting on his bed. He isn’t sure what overtakes him, but he immediately swoops you up in his arms and holds you close. You cry quietly for a few moments. Murmuring something about not doing a good job. All Yunho can do is rub your back gently and coax you back into reality.
“You did so well. It was insensitive of me to walk away so soon after,” he says gently. It’s a tone he’s never used with you before.
“You hate me.” You comment weakly, “I don’t blame you for walking away.”
“I don’t,” he states plainly.
“You don’t? Why are you so mean to me whenever-”
He wipes a stray tear from your cheek, “I don’t have an explanation for that. Maybe I was deflecting what I really felt in fear of what Mingi might say.” “I’m a grown woman. I can decide who I date without Mingi’s permission.” You chuckle slightly.
“I know. I know.” he says softly, pressing a kiss into your hair, “Are you fully back with me now?”
“Mhm. I’m processing how sticky I feel now,” you admit.
Yunho chuckles, and you feel the sound vibrate through his chest. 
“Let’s get cleaned up and change the sheets. Then, does cuddling sound good to you?”
“More than.” you smile at him.
After a peaceful shower together and cleaning up the bedroom (including opening a window and lighting a scented candle), you curl up under Yunho’s arm and rest your head against his chest. It’s peace like you’ve never known another person before. It’s ironic how the person you swore you hate is the person you found yourself most at peace with. Then, you hear the front door click open and shut. Neither of you is fully awake, though, not enough to process what the sound was. Just as you open your eyes and process what that sound is, your brother is already busting through Yunho’s previously closed bedroom door. Yunho scrambles to protect your decency, which happens to be tossing himself on top of you. You squeal at the sudden movement.
“You two finally fucked it out?” Mingi asks, sounding hopeful, “It’s been goddamn years of that stupid tension!”
He walks out, forgetting to close the door behind him. Your new boyfriend sighs and gets out of bed to close the door. Just as the door is about to click shut, you hear your brother call through his door.
“If you hurt her or knock her up, I’m reserving the right to murder you still!”
You’re half tempted to walk in there and beat his ass for making that comment, but you can’t find the willpower to get out of Yunho’s comfy bed to do so. Yunho shakes his head and closes the door fully. Climbing back into bed, he wraps his arms around you again.
“How do you think he’ll react when he finds out we fuck raw?”
“Jeong Yunho!”
You smack his chest, and he lets out a bright giggle. Maybe all you really needed was to fuck it out all this time. You never hated him. You’re hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him.
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biibini · 5 months
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modern!mizu pt2 sfw + nsfw
a/n: brain continues to rot 😵‍💫 i thought i would focus more on ur relationship w mizu & ur dynamic with her
note: nsfw at the bottom!
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ok so ab u two hehe
sfw ☆
modern!mizu gets into a playful mood w u from time to time
usually when she gets bored from hw or takes a break after coming back from the gym, she’ll come out of the zone and bother u
she loves to press ur buttons especially when it’s the two of u alone
modern!mizu is a tease. next headcannon.
“Mizu. Stop.”
“Stop? What would I be stopping?” she would say in a teasing manner.
“You know what I mean-“ you say as she continues to squish your face with her left hand. A small but undeniable smirk starts forming on her face.
however, when u are both out, she’ll keep the teasing to a minimum
at least tries to (the voices r strong but shes stronger most of the time)
her hand might just slip down by ur waist and squeeze it at times to get a little reaction or gasp out of u
(but that’s an idea for me to elaborate on later)
modern!mizu prefers u to hold her arm than her hand
she’ll take either but she feels more secure knowing ur holding onto her
she def likes it when u lightly squeeze her arms to stay close
modern!mizu likes joining in on ur care routine before going to sleep (this is kinda nsfw)
at first, she was curious as to what products u were using on ur face
she initially saw the facial ice roller as a new toy ngl
it’s not one of her proudest moments
“Hey Y/N?”
“Yeah?” You were in the bedroom finding your pajamas, not even guessing what she would ask you next
“You bought a new toy?” Mizu yells from the bathroom.
“I did?”
She comes out with your facial ice roller in hand.
“Baby-“ you start speaking.
“I mean I know you said you wanted to test out temperatures in bed one time but…”
“Miz-“
“Just how… exactly do we use this? I know this part is the handle but where does the ice go?” she asks as she holds the handle sideways, staring at the product and analyzing its usage.
You start to giggle a little as you take the roller out of her hands.
“I’m being serious. How does it work?”
“Mizu, it’s for my face.”
She starts blanking out as you begin to roll the cold icy part on your cheeks.
“It’s supposed to help with puffiness.”
“Oh…”
self care along with her nightly tea became a comforting ritual in her bedroom
she was intrigued by the amount of skincare products u own
it’s not a lot (jk)
mizu totally didn’t build a whole shelf for ur products (she made sure it fit everything)
modern!mizu is ur guinea pig, and vice versa (sorta)
if u wanted to try a new product, she would try it with u
if she had a new creation/projected she needed to test out, u would be the second person she would call to check on production
u used to be the first until the “incident”
one time she called u in at the dead hour of 2 AM to come to the auto-shop and see her creation
it was a makeshift turbine for a solo project and all u had to do was turn it on to low fan speed
u ended up turning it on the highest speed somehow and broke the fragile engine
mizu froze as she watched her project get quickly chopped up by the fan
however she starts running to push u away and protect u when the fan starts hurling towards ur direction
u end up finding out she mislabeled the fan speed and made the “lowest” setting the highest setting
worried that she would put u in danger again, she asks taigen or ringo to test her new projects
she continues to be a guinea pig with ur skincare products and cooking
(ill make this vary depending on reader’s skills)
if ur not a rlly good cook, u and mizu can make two halves meet and collaborate on cooking together
u would probably ask ringo to help u out more than mizu admits to (it’s for the better and safety of the apartment)
if u are a good cook, she’ll be a bit more confident and step up as ur sous chef
she jokingly calls u “yes chef” as she gives u a kiss on ur cheek
one day, u bought a chef hat and started prepping dinner before mizu got back from the gym
You hear the front door open and the small ring of the jingle bell Ringo put on the handle.
“Y/N? Ringo?” Mizu yells as she puts down her bag.
“In here!” You yell from the kitchen. You fix your newly bought chef hat to match Mizu’s little running bit.
“Hey what are you coo-“ Mizu stops to look at what you’re wearing.
Some slippers, one of her shirts, and a chef hat. Oh my god. You turn to look at her with a smile.
“What is… that?“ She says, gawking at the hat.
“You like what I bought?”
“Yes but I wasn’t expecting a whole chef hat.” Mizu says as gives you a quick hug from behind and a little “hello” kiss on your cheek.
“You mean ‘Yes chef’?” You say teasingly.
“Haha very funny…”
You stare at her, pausing your cooking as you wait for the right words to be spoken out. She looks back and sighing in defeat.
“Yes chef.” She says as you giggle at her defeated tone, continuing to tend to dinner.
modern!mizu will chop and prep for u
give her a knife and a chopping board
ask and u will receive
random thought but she will tough out the onions
when she first starts her sous chef journey, she would always chew gum
she never realized that she could avoid onion tears with this method until she tried it
game changer !!
trust her w the onions. always.
modern!mizu enjoys dates out with u but the best dates are done at home, cuddling and watching netflix
u guys def have movie/tv show nights
maybe even experiment in cooking dinners
it’s peaceful and quiet (besides ringo joining in occasionally most of the time)
cuddling and relaxing after long school days resets both of u
mizu esp loves it when u both are under the covers and she can feel u doze off
it makes her a little sleepy too
As the second to final episode of your show comes to an end, Mizu checks up on you. She finds you, eyes closed & softly breathing.
“Y/N” she whispers while slowly unwrapping the blanket covering you two.
“Uh hm…” you say as you try and grip onto the blanket, it’s warmth escaping you. A light chuckle comes out of Mizu.
She successfully takes off the blanket, laying it to hang on the couch. She makes a mental reminder to fix it before she leaves for the gym tomorrow. You on the other hand are slowly waking up and walking to the bedroom, still holding her hand.
“C’mon now, let’s get to bed.”
You simply nod as she brings you to the bedroom to continue your sleep. She’ll catch you up on what you missed when you dozed off the following day.
modern!mizu would sleep on her back
it’s best to relieve lower back pain after learning from her adopted dad
so she’s adapted the same habit as him
when it comes to cuddling, she wraps her arm around you as she dozes off
if u wanted (or she wanted) to spoon, she would initially be the big spoon
however, the more u get into ur relationship, the more she switches over to being the little spoon
the feeling of ur hands wrapped around her as you both doze off is comforting
big spoon does stay on top though
it gives her access to… places
nsfw ♥︎
yk how i said in the first modern!mizu that she was touchy (and here too)
modern!mizu needs to hold or touch u whenever u guys are doing it
ur face, hands, shoulder, waist, hips, thighs
anywhere basically
she loves giving ur hips a squeeze while guiding u through the motions
when she’s making out with u, she lovesss to cup ur face or hold ur waist closer to u with her hands
when eating u out, u cannot escape
those gym seshes come in clutch
her arms will wrap around ur thighs and will not let u go
“Be good for me, will ya?” Mizu says, her breath only a few inches away from your heat.
You can only nod as you let your legs succumb to her arms. There’s no use fighting against them. You’ve tried and failed many times.
she would also hold onto ur hips if ur on top
she loves the control she would have on ur hips while u bounce up and down on her strap on
if not ur hips, she would give ur ass a squeeze as u continue to be riding her
modern!mizu always loves to leave a little mark
she knows how sensitive u can be around ur neck and loves to leave at least one, maybe two
if not there, then definitely around ur breasts
no one’s going to see them (most of the time)
she loves doing it especially when ur stimulated below by her fingers that are slowly yet deeply thrusting into ur wet insides
it would overstimulate u
but it would be so fun to see her lovely girl crumble little by little by her fingers and mouth
modern!mizu will do anything to hear ur voice
when she’s making out w u and hears a moan escape from ur lips, she’s so ready
ur moans escaping from ur lips while she eats u out is the best melody she’s ever heard
she gets lost indulging in ur noise that she would have to double check if anyone else is home before continuing
if ur moans gets louder when she goes faster, she will keep that pace up until ur a mumbling mess
so ab her being a tease earlier
modern!mizu likes to tease, especially when ur close
“Is my Y/N getting close?” she coos as she continues to thrust into you.
You were already overstimulated with how much she has done with you that night. From making out to practically squirting on her fingers earlier, your mind was a mess. As she thrust into you, all you could do was nod and moan as she hit a deeper spot.
“That’s the spot, isn’t it?”
You mumbled a yes and nodded. She heard you. But was it a spoken answer? Not exactly to Mizu.
She slows her pace down and looks to see your reaction: fucked out, dazed, and is practically begging for more.
“Mizu, please.”
“Please what?”
She grinds once to hear another moan come out. You continue to lose it as you start to bounce up and down on her strap, finding the spot again.
“Please fuck me more.” you answer.
She grinned as she watch you continue to move your hips up and down on her. Who knew you could still have the energy after all?
However, Mizu wasn’t done toying with you. She wants to hear your exact words.
“Fuck you how much more?” She says slyly as her hips start to slowly match your pace. You get silent as you find the right angle.
“Deeper. Much deeper.”
“Oh yeah?” she answers breathily, lining her hands with your waist as she searches for the deep spot.
A loud moan escaped your lips. Bingo.
“Good girl.” she calls as she continues her deep thrusts into you, coming once again.
hands down, making you speak while you’re fucked out is the favorite way to tease u
i cannot exaggerate how ur moans get her off
it’ll always be in the back of her mind while she continues to mess w u
it’s basically an obsession
hearing her lover practically crumble from her is her favorite part of teasing u
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 6 months
Text
The Danger Zone (Part 12) - Hangman
Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC
Word Count: 4.3k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY. MINORS ARE NOT WELCOME HERE
Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Brief and Not Really Explicit Sexual Content; Excessive Fluff; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description
Summary: You and Jake take a new step in your relationship.
Series Master List
Master List
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Jake sat across from Javy out on Javy’s back porch. Phoenix, you, and Emma were out together doing something that Jake was sure had to do with the baby, and leaving Jake and Javy to have a quiet afternoon to catch up between themselves. 
“You still don’t know the baby’s gender then?” Javy asked, causing Jake to nod. 
“She wanted to wait, and I didn’t mind.”
“But you have an idea, don’t you?” Javy prodded, knowing Jake as he did. 
“Yeah, I think that the baby will be healthy and happy.” Tapping his fingers on the table, Jake added, “But I sort of—and you cannot tell her this—want it to be a girl.”
“You want a girl?” Javy repeated, not looking surprised. 
“I’d be very happy with a boy. But I feel like a girl, who takes after her mom and looks like her mom, that’s what I keep picturing in my head.” Scratching his chin, Jake looked over at Javy. “The more that kid takes after their mom, the better.”
“How is the future Mrs. Seresin doing anyway?” Javy teased, leaning back in his seat. 
“She’s glowing these days, Javy. I swear. She’s absolutely glowing. And she says that the baby is getting more active. Nothing that I can feel yet, but they’re moving around in there. Mostly at night, which I can tell is going to annoy her eventually, but she’s just so happy every time she can feel the baby. And I mean I can see her bump getting bigger every week. I started taking photos of her so that we can track her growth. And I don’t know what it is but when I’m right next to her, I just feel the need to touch her bump and hold it and just be there.”
“Look at you,” Javy chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re smiling more than ever. You’ve got a photo from the ultrasound in your cockpit and in your locker. You spend almost every lunch break calling her. You’re always rushing home to see her.” Javy laughed to himself again. “You’ve gone soft, Jake.” 
“Fuck off, Javy,” Jake sighed without malice. 
“It’s a good look for you,” Javy defended himself. “I mean, you’re the guy who got his callsign for being selfish, Jake.”
“Yeah, thanks to my kid’s uncle.”
“He’s still not over it?” Javy guessed, reaching for his beer bottle. 
“He’ll never get over it,” Jake scoffed with a sense of finality. “Because he’s an idiot who thinks that I took advantage of her and that I’ll do something to hurt or upset her and the baby soon.” Rolling his eyes, Jake added, “He’d probably celebrate if we broke up.”
“I don’t think he’d celebrate . . . in front of her,” Javy added after a moment of thought. 
“He can fuck off for all I care. He’s not getting in between the two of us or our family. If he actually cares about his sister, he’d back off.”
“Has he at least reduced his attitude?”
“He never says anything in front of her. I’m pretty sure that Emma and or Penny would actually drop kick him if he did. And he’s not a complete moron. He doesn’t want to stress her out.” Jake took a sip of his beer. “So, he’s just an asshole when she’s not around.”
“I guess that’s an improvement.”
“Barely. I’m not going to deal with this shit when the baby’s old enough to hear his bullshit and sense the tension between the two of us. I mean, what if the baby overheard him saying shit about me? I’d fucking kill him, Javy, I’m telling you that right now. If he wants to be an uncle to my kid, he’s going to have to get over whatever stick is lodged up his ass.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“No. I don’t want to stress her out or pick a fight. It’s going really well right now, Javy, and I’ll never forgive myself if I fuck it up over her idiot brother.”
“She’s aware of it, I’m sure. Her and Nat talk about it, I think. And Emma.” Javy rubbed his cheek as an amused smirk tugged at his lips. “My money’s on Penny to kick his ass honestly.”
“I’d pay to see that.”
“So, you guys are talking about the future?”
“Every day,” Jake agreed. “She wants everything sorted out—or as much as possible—before she gets too far into her third trimester.”
“What do you mean by everything?”
“Getting things put in both of our names so that if something happens to one of us, the other can take care of everything and the baby. Getting our wills updated. Discussing who would take care of the baby if her family’s history repeats itself.”
“And how is that going?”
“We were looking for a house because with the cheaper loans I would get, it just makes more financial sense, and we’ll need the space. And as for the baby, it’s a little more complicated right now because we’re not married, but we’re working on it.”
“Can I make an observation?”
“Sure.”
“Why aren’t you guys just getting married?” Javy asked, causing Jake to pause. “Because a lot of this work would be done if you just signed a piece of paper at town hall. And you’d get benefits, she’d save a shit ton on medical expenses, and there’s no big fight in the hospital if something happens to one of you.” Javy added after a moment, “A huge part of why Nat and I got married was so that if a bird strike or G-LOC situation happened again, the other could actually get information from the hospital and make decisions.”
“I know,” Jake sighed, rubbing his face. “I was thinking about that.”
“I mean, I get it’s a huge commitment, but you’re already having a baby together. Getting married can’t be a bigger commitment than that.”
“Yeah, it’s not,” Jake agreed, leaning back in his seat. “I’ve been thinking about bringing it up to her.”
“Well, did you at least tell her about your family?”
“Javy—”
“—Jake, you’ve got to tell her.”
“I’m just trying to protect her.”
“Leaving her without all of the information is not protecting her, Jake, it’s setting her up for failure. At least tell her about your mother.”  
“Why my mother?”
“Because it explains a lot about you, Jake,” Javy stated, causing him to look down. “And she likes you, for some reason.” 
“Fuck off,” Jake sighed, reaching for his beer. Taking a long sip, he set the bottle down and rotated it around, lost in thought for a moment. “I’ll tell her about it. When the time’s right.”
~~~~~
You woke late on Saturday. You were never an early riser before but pregnancy made waking up early on the weekend impossible. Picking your head off of your pregnancy pillow, which Jake bought for you, you turned to see that Jake was gone, as usual. 
But when you saw a note on his pillow, you sat up. You picked it up and unfolded the paper, smiling to yourself when you saw Jake’s handwriting.
Get your rest because I made plans for us tonight. I still owe you that first date. 
- J
Practically beaming with joy, you laid back down, thinking to yourself about what Jake could have had planned for tonight. You assumed dinner, at least, but he hadn’t mentioned anything to you about where he would take you on a date. As you were rereading the note, you heard the front door open and Jake step inside. You waited for him to walk into the bedroom and smiled at him. 
“Morning. How was your run?”
“Fine. Took a new route through the park,” Jake replied, kneeling on the bed and leaning over to press a kiss to your lips. Moving your shirt out of the way, he pressed another kiss to your bump. “Any movement this morning?”
“Not yet,” you replied, running a hand through Jake’s hair as you smiled softly m. “They only start to move when it’s inconvenient for me.”
“Yeah, that’s my baby in there,” Jake joked, causing you to shake your head at him. 
“So, what are we doing later then?”
“It’s a surprise,” Jake stated, getting off of the bed. “I was thinking that we should leave here around five.”
“You’re not going to tell me anything about it?”
“Dress nicely but nothing crazy. And just make sure that you’re comfortable.”
“That doesn’t narrow it down,” you called after him as he walked into the bathroom to shower. 
“It wasn’t supposed to.”
You scoffed at his words as he closed the door. Laying down, you decided to stay in bed a little longer as Jake showered. But you sat up when you felt your baby start to move right over your bladder. It started as a little bit of a tickle and then some more discomfort and then you were shifting around, trying to find some sort of relief, and then you were frantically knocking on the door to the bathroom and letting yourself in. 
Jake turned his neck, staring at you with concern and a question on the tip of his tongue. But when he saw you making a beeline for the toilet, he had the audacity to smirk a bit. You shot him a look right back.
“The baby’s moving?” he guessed, letting the hot spray of the shower hit his chest. 
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m trying to concentrate.”
~~~~~
You checked your appearance one last time in the mirror before you grabbed your phone and walked out of the bathroom. Jake was sitting on the couch, waiting patiently for you, dressed in a nice button down tee shirt and a pair of black pants. When you stepped around the corner, he looked up and you instantly felt your cheeks warm as his expression changed and his sharp green eyes studied your figure. 
“Does the dress make my boobs pop out too much?” you asked, adjusting the strap a bit subconsciously. “Or is it too nice? Or not nice enough?”
“You look perfect,” Jake told you, standing up and sliding his phone into his back pocket. He walked over to you and grabbed your hands, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “Ready to go?”
You nodded and Jake led you down to the car. Jake drove your car when the two of you were going somewhere because it was easier for you to get into compared to his truck. And he insisted that it was safer for you to sit in the passenger seat. 
“Where are we going?” you asked Jake, who smiled at you before turning back to the road. 
“It’s a surprise.”
“How far is it?” you asked, shifting in your seat. 
“It’s not too far.”
Jake drove a few more minutes before pulling into a long driveway. And even though you recognized the name at the entrance to the driveway, it still took you a moment to process it. 
“Why did you bring me to the place where Bradley and Emma’s wedding reception was?” you asked softly, more surprised than anything else. 
“Well, when it’s not just for hosting weddings. There’s a regular restaurant attached to it.” Jake pulled into a spot before turning off the car. “And this is where we met for the first time.” Pulling the keys out of the ignition, he turned back to you. “Is that okay?”
“Of course, it is,” you reassured him, resting a hand on his arm. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, let’s go,” you insisted, grabbing your purse. 
The two of you walked inside and were led to your table, which just happened to be on the back patio. You could see the outdoor bar where you and Jake met for the first time from your seat. Had anyone told you that little conversation on those two stools was going to change your life forever, you never would have believed them. 
“You know, I’ve already made a list of everything I want to eat or drink after I have the baby,” you stated, flipping through the menu. 
“What are the top three?”
“Beer, salmon rolls, and pepperoni,” you listed off quickly, causing Jake to snort. 
“All in one sitting?”
“We’ll see how I’m feeling,” you mused, reaching for your water. The waiter came over and took your orders before walking off again. “Emma called me today and mentioned something about throwing a baby shower for us next month. Or a little after that.”
“Do the dads go to that?” Jake asked, causing you to shrug your shoulders. 
“I think we can just do whatever we want. I know that when one of the Kazansky kids had their baby shower, the guys went out and did something together but then they came back and everyone ate together.”
“Whatever you want, we’ll do,” Jake offered, causing you to smile. 
“Thank you. But Emma and Phoenix seem like they’ve got it handled. They said it’s returning the favor for me being their maid of honor. And I kind of agreed to let them make it all a surprise.”
“We’re not doing some crazy gender reveal thing, right?” Jake deadpanned. 
“No, I told them to not do that,” you chuckled, leaning back in your seat. Folding your hands in front of your bump, you asked, “But you’re okay with waiting still? To find out?”
“The baby’s healthy and you’re healthy and that’s all I care about,” Jake stated seriously. “And it’s not like we can control it either.”
“No, we can’t,” you agreed, nodding slowly. “But what do you think? Are we having a boy or a girl?”
“I haven’t really thought about it,” Jake lied, earning a look from you. “Alright, alright, I have. But what do you think we’re having?”
“No, because you’re just going to copy me to try and make me happy, even though I don’t care because we’re just guessing at this point and no one can do anything to change it and it doesn’t even matter at the end of the day.” Leaning forward, you added with a smile, “Just tell me, Jake.”
“I think we’re having a girl,” Jake stated quietly after a moment of thought. 
“I thought we were too, but then the obstetrician moved the monitor during the ultrasound and now I think that we’re having a boy,” you explained, causing Jake to think about it more. “Like she saw something there and moved it away before it was too obvious.”
“Maybe,” Jake agreed. “But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
He took a sip of his drink before leaning forward with a teasing smile. You cocked an eyebrow as you buttered your slice of bread, shooting him a look right back. 
“How are you feeling now? Feel the need to walk in on me in the shower again? Because next time, you can just join me. No need to put on a show about it.”
You scoffed and tossed the crumpled up straw wrapper at Jake in retaliation. A smirk tugged at your lips as you leaned forward and lowered your voice. 
“Says the man who’s been glancing down at my chest ever since I stepped out of our bedroom.”
“I’m looking at your bump where our child is growing,” Jake insisted seriously, causing your smirk to fade and a sheepish expression to come over your face. “But, my eyes have been taking a pit stop between your bump and your eyes because that dress does make your breasts look perfect.”
You lightly kicked him under the table in retaliation, causing him to laugh. The two of you enjoyed your dinner together and talked all about your plans for the future and the baby. It was a first date on paper, but it was obvious to anyone who looked over at you that there was a long history and strong understanding between the two of you. Jake paid the tab—though you tried to grab it from him—before the two of you got up and walked out to the parking lot. 
“So, what do you think?” Jake asked as the two of you threaded your fingers together and slowly swung your hands back and forth. “Will I get a second date?”
“I’ll think about it,” you joked, leaning on Jake as you walked. 
“You’ll think about it?” Jake repeated as the two of you got closer to your car. 
“Well, it’s only the first date,” you added, shrugging your shoulders and laughing to yourself when you saw Jake’s offended look. “Maybe if you’re a decent kisser, I’ll think about it a little more.”
“Is that a challenge?” Jake asked, gently reaching up to cup your cheek. 
“It could be.”
Jake leaned down and tilted your chin up, bringing you in for a soft kiss. He started slowly, teasing you like you teased him a moment ago. And when you started to press against him, deepening the kiss, you could practically feel Jake’s smirk against your lips. Pulling back from your lips, and leaving you wanting more, Jake took a step back. 
“And my chances now?”
“I guess I can give you a second date,” you replied before grabbing Jake by the front of his shirt. 
Your lips met again and Jake rested his hand on your hips, gently backing you up against your car. He rubbed his hand over the front of your bump before raising it to cup your cheek, purposefully brushing his fingertips against the sensitive skin of the valley between your breasts. And feeling you suck in a breath and press against him further, Jake pulled your lips apart and rested his forehead against your own. 
“Any chance that we can continue this back at the apartment?” Jake whispered against your lips. 
“I’d love to,” you replied softly, before smirking to yourself. “But I can’t.”
“Why not?” Jake asked, sounding concerned.
“I have this rule,” you teased, leaning back against your car, “that I can’t sleep with a guy after the first date. It’s nothing personal, just one of my rules.”
“And if the guy already got you pregnant? Can you make an exception?”
“Hmm,” you hummed, running a hand down his chest. 
You held him in suspense for a moment, even though you honestly wouldn’t have minded if he slid your underwear to the side and done it against your car right then and there. And even though you enjoyed teasing him, you wanted him. You needed him. 
Placing your hand over his own, you offered him a genuine, loving smile. You leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 
“Take me to bed, Jake,” you whispered to him. 
“Yes, ma’am.”
When the two of you eventually got back to your shared apartment, you let Jake pull you down the hall and into your bedroom. The two of you gently undressed each other before Jake helped you up and onto the bed. 
“You’re not going to be comfortable on your back, are you?” Jake asked as you sat back on your heels. 
“Probably not for long,” you agreed as Jake climbed up onto the bed too.
“Then come here,” Jake coaxed, laying on his back. 
You crawled over and Jake grabbed your hips, lining the two of you up. Your bump, which wasn’t so small anymore, rested against Jake’s strong chest. 
“Tell me if anything hurts or isn’t comfortable and we’ll stop, okay?” he assured you. 
“Okay.”
You let out a shaky gasp as Jake pulled your hips down. His hands were strong on your hips and he welcomed the rock of your hips against him. You were a bit worried about suffocating Jake and tried to hold up your weight, but he didn’t slow down until you practically collapsed against his chest. 
Jake gently rolled you onto your side and laid down beside you, gently running his fingers down your cheek. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and offered him a giddy smile. 
“Are you alright?” he asked softly. 
“Yeah, Jake,” you giggled, “I’m better than alright.”
“I haven’t lost my touch then?” 
“Not yet,” you mused, pressing a romantic kiss to his lips. 
After taking a moment to recover, you sat up and climbed onto his lap. Jake rested his back against the headboard, letting you set your own pace with his hands there to support you. As your rhythm started to slow until you could only rock your hips, Jake gently rotated the two of you so that your bump rested against a pillow and your weight rested on your hands and knees before he sat up behind you.  
“Tell me if it’s too much,” Jake told you. 
“It’s not enough right now,” you practically whined, pushing back against him. 
Jake rolled his hips forward as his lips pressed a searing kiss against your neck, causing you to moan. The two of you quickly lost yourselves in each other until your body tensed up again. You buried your face into the comforter as your body shook. Jake kept moving above you for a few more moments before he let out a low noise and rolled over beside you.
You smiled at him as he laid down and caught his breath. Your eyes fluttered softly in the dim lighting as curled your body into Jake’s warm chest. He could see that you were exhausted and were probably about to fall asleep. Jake leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“You should go to the bathroom first before you fall asleep,” Jake suggested, causing you to open your eyes and look up at him. ��I can clean up otherwise.”
“Let my legs recover for a second, Seresin. Unless, you want a Bambi on ice situation.”
Jake snorted in reply, causing you to smile.
~~~~~
When Jake got called into Cyclone’s office after completing his training exercises, Jake knew that meant two things—he either fucked up or he did something incredibly amazing. And he couldn’t think of anything that he fucked up lately, so he was hoping that the latter was true. 
“Sir,” he greeted Cyclone, standing at attention. 
“At ease, Hangman. Please, sit,” Cyclone stated, gesturing to the seat in front of his desk.
Jake sat down and stared at Cyclone, who seemed relatively at ease. He shifted a few papers around his desk before picking up a folder. Cyclone held it out to Jake, who immediately flipped it open, reading through the documents enclosed. 
“Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander Seresin,” Cyclone replied, causing Jake to look up from the paperwork. His expression didn’t give away any emotion, but internally Jake was swelling with pride and joy. “It’s well deserved and I’m sure that you’ll do well in your new role.” 
“And I’m to remain here?” Jake asked, looking quickly through the papers. “In Miramar?”
“Yes, you will,” Cyclone replied, allowing Jake to relax for a moment. But only for one moment. “Though, I should warn you that your chance of being deployed in the next few months has slightly increased.” 
“How slight?” 
“I would say guaranteed at some point within the next six months,” Cyclone answered honestly, causing Jake’s joy to disappear in a flash. “Not that it would be for an extended deployment, but you’ll certainly be on a short list, Hangman.” 
“I understand, sir,” he stated, looking down at his paperwork. 
A note of silence passed between them and Cyclone leaned back in his seat, folding his hands in front of him. Glancing at photos of his own family, Cyclone turned back to Hangman, who was reading through the paperwork in front of him. 
“Hondo tells me that your girlfriend is expecting,” Cyclone continued, causing Jake to nod in confirmation, though he kept his gaze focused on the paperwork. “Congratulations.” 
“Thank you, sir.” 
“I wish that I could offer you a guarantee, Hangman. Any sort of guarantee.”
“That’s not the industry that we’re in, sir,” Jake replied simply, picking his head up. “I understand that. She understands that.” 
“The promotion ceremony is in two weeks. Saturday,” Cyclone responded after a few moments. “I look forward to meeting her then.” 
“Yes, sir.” 
~~~~~
You walked into your and Jake’s apartment building, and stopped to grab your mail. Unlocking the small mailbox, you pulled the door open and grabbed the small batch of envelopes. You walked over to the elevator as you flipped through them, mentally organizing them. 
Bill. Spam. Spam. Bill. More spam. Even more spam. And . . .
You paused, looking at the last envelope. It was blue and shaped like a card, though it wasn’t close to either of your birthdays. Flipping it over, you paused when you saw that the return address was in Texas. And the name Georgia Seresin had to be Jake’s mom’s name, wouldn’t it? 
Jake got a card from his mom. 
Though you thought it was weird, especially because Jake swore up and down that he didn’t talk to his parents, you brushed it off. It wasn’t addressed to you, so it wasn’t yours to open. You would just tell Jake about it when he got home. 
Taking the elevator up, you headed into your apartment. Setting the mail down in the corner, you walked over to the couch and flopped down, exhausted from your day. Turning on the fan that Jake set up on the coffee table for you, you laid down and scrolled through your phone. 
And then promptly fell asleep a minute later.
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shmaptainwrites · 2 months
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]
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PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — It was never Reader's plan to be a single mother to a newborn child, but a longtime friend steps in and before long they both have the family they've always wanted, the only catch: they're still just friends
WORD COUNT — 13.6K
WARNINGS — mentions of pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding (like non descriptive? does this need to be a warning?)
NOTE — Okay this fic has been in the works for a while and I have been swamped with school so I'm so happy I'm finally able to post something because it's literally been a full-ass month since I last came out with anything ._. hoping once finals are over I can get back into my writing groove and give some of my ideas the attention they deserve!
Middle photo credit goes to @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey
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“Are you sure this is okay?” you looked back while holding a baby carrier in both hands. 
“Like I told you back at the hospital, and in the car, and then again in the car, I promise this is okay,” James assured you, following right behind, bags under each arm. “You just went through a 40 hour labour, did you really think it would be a smart move to come home alone?”
He was right about that, physically you were exhausted, you were sure how much longer you could keep your eyes open. 
“Go take a shower, I’ll look after her until you get out,” he suggested. “If you had a support person here you would have taken shifts.”
“I know, but you have a life James,” you sighed. “One that didn’t involve your friend getting pregnant and then taking care of her.”
“Would it make it any better if I told you I really don’t mind? I like spending time with you, it’s why we’ve been friends for so long,” he put the bags down by the table and then placed a hand on your shoulder. 
“James, I love you, but I’m going to be brutally honest because my filter has vanished. This is what happens to all your wives, all your girlfriends. I really don’t need that happening to us too,” you said. 
“It won’t,” he pressed. “Come on, just take the shower. I know you want to.”
You sighed, “Alright, but I’m not gonna call for you to come in the middle of the night and every which time of day. If you want to come and see us, do it of your own accord and if you don’t want to then don’t,” you emphasized. “Do what you want, not what you think I want.”
“If I say I will, will you go take a shower?” James asked and you rolled your eyes at him. 
“Don’t drop my baby while I’m in there, okay?” you pointed at him. “You still owe me for that vase you broke.” 
“You mean the tacky one your crappy ex-boyfriend’s mom gave you? I think I did you a favour there.” 
“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know?” you said carefully putting the carrier down in the living room and looking down at your resting daughter for a moment before heading towards your room. 
“I love you too,” he said simply, replacing you by her side and keeping a close eye on her while she slept. 
You had to admit, it was a relief to be able to step into the shower, knowing there was someone you trusted outside looking after the small human you were now fully responsible for. At least before dealing with the stress and everything that would come afterwards you’d be able to be clean. 
When you came out of your bedroom after your shower, dressed in the most comfortable clothes you could find lying around, you saw James in the kitchen, the carrier now propped up on the table while he unpacked something from some grocery bags. 
“I was craving Indian, do you want some?” he asked. 
“Of course I do, the food at your hospital sucks, hand it over,” you put your hand out and he gave you a bowl so you could serve yourself some rice and curry. “She’s still asleep?” 
“Woke up once, but I got her to fall back asleep pretty easily. She might get hungry soon though too.” 
“So I should eat while I still have the chance,” you sat down at the island and began munching on the food, turning around the carrier so you could see your daughter. 
It was interesting, she’d been around only for a short few days but you could barely ever take your eyes off her. 
“Did you pick a name for her yet?” James asked, leaning over the table and eating his portion of dinner. 
“I think so,” you nodded. “I was between two when she was born, but now that I look at her she fits one better than the other.” 
“So what’s the winner?” 
“Liana,” you smiled and brushed your fingers along her small curled toes. “It suits her doesn’t it?” 
“I think it does,” he nodded. “You made a pretty cute baby.” 
“I made a very cute baby, thank you very much,” you scoffed with a chuckle. “You think you could do better?” 
“Well I don’t have a uterus so I don’t think we’ll ever be able to find out,” he shook his head. “Shame, I probably would have demolished you.” 
“As if,” you laughed, continuing to eat more food just as Liana began to stir awake. “And there’s my cue.” 
You stood up and carefully took her out of the carrier, cautious of supporting her neck before moving over to the couch where you could comfortably feed her. 
“Once you’re done I’ll burp her,” James said. “So you can keep eating.” 
“Sure,” you nodded. “Got practice from your med school days?” 
“Yeah, actually,” he nodded. “I thought originally I might specialize in working in the NICU so I spent a lot of time in the maternity ward.” 
“What made you change your mind?” you asked. 
“I would have burnt out,” he admitted. “Seeing babies and spending time with them is one thing, but seeing them sick and sometimes not get better? It’s a lot harder than you’d imagine.” 
You hummed thoughtfully, “You would have been good in that department if you decided to go that route. I think at least.” 
“Really, why do you think so?” 
“James, you’ve always been great with kids and parents. Don’t you remember how we met?” 
He chuckled to himself, “Summer camp days. Yeah, you really did have to know your way around both.” 
“You somehow managed, as a nineteen-year-old, to calm a child who was freaking out about staying away from home and dealing with an unhappy parent of a different child. I think your people skills just got better as you got older.” 
“I don’t think there’s much in life that trains you to deal with crises as much as being a camp counsellor.” 
“You can test your skills with Liana and see if you’ve still got the magic when it comes to babies,” you teased, followed by a yawn. 
“Trust me, I definitely do,” he assured you. “Babies love me.”
“And do you love babies?”
“I do, and I think I’m gonna end up loving yours a little more than most,” he admitted. 
“Good, she’s gonna need it,” you sighed. “I’m gonna need it.”
There was a pause for a moment before James spoke up again,
“Have you talked to him since the break up?” he asked and you shook your head, feeling the tears develop in your eyes. 
“I don’t really want to talk about it, not right now,” you whispered, looking down at Liana again. 
James did not peg your boyfriend as the abandoning type, but after he had coaxed the news out of you during one of your visits, he could see how much it crushed you to think of what lied ahead. Not because you didn’t want a child, but because Liana was all you wanted and you thought you were on the same page as your partner, but when it came down to things he couldn’t hold up the mask he’d been wearing any longer. 
“You should talk about it sometime though, right?” James said softly. “Doesn’t have to be with me, but you’ve been so laser focused on getting through the past nine months you haven’t really processed what happened.”
Liana had since finished feeding and you carried her over to the kitchen island, passing James a burp cloth that he could drape across his shoulder before taking her from your hands, after you pressed a small kiss to her forehead. 
“Not sure if I want to process it,” you admitted. “I’d rather focus on her.”
“And I’d rather you take care of yourself so you don’t crash and burn,” he said. 
You knew he was right, but it was nicer to pretend you were alone from start to finish than even imagining the possibility that someone was supposed to be with you through everything. The doctors appointments, the morning sickness, the preparation. 
Instead you ended up feeling like a burden to your friends who had gone out of their way to help you and be there for you. 
“Okay,” you nodded simply. “I’ll do it for you and her then.”
“It’ll end up being for you in the end,” he assured. “But just…trust me on this okay?”
“I do,” you smiled. “Just like I trust you with her.”
You finished eating your dinner while James took care of Liana and even managed to get her to go back to sleep. It seemed that even though she’d only been in the world a short while, she felt just as safe in his arms as she did in yours.
“You can put her down if you want. I have a cot set up in my room,” you pointed. 
“I’m alright like this,” he shook his head. “I’ll hold her until you’re done then I’ll leave you guys so you can get some sleep.”
Considering how hungry you were, it didn't take that much longer for you to finish eating and while you cleared up the dishes, James went and put Liana down in her bed and then gathered his things so he could give you some time alone. 
“I’ll see you around, James. Thanks for coming to help today,” you gave him a big hug and he held you tight in that way he would when he wanted to say something, but knew it should probably wait. 
“Anytime,” he gave you an additional squeeze. “You’re gonna be a great mom. You are a great mom already. I’m really happy for you.” 
You couldn’t bring yourself to say any words in response so you just nodded your head and held onto him tighter. After a moment he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. 
“Love you, now go get some sleep.” 
“You’ve got it Dr. Wilson,” you saluted him. 
You walked him out of the door and after closing it shut behind him you took a deep breath. It was going to be hard, but you could do it. 
A few months later…
“Don’t you have a life?” you yawned, bouncing Liana in your arms to try and get her to fall asleep. 
“I mean I went bowling with House last night and I consistently stay late at work, and that’s about it, so no,” James shook his head. 
“So you figured that coming and bothering me is a good use of your spare time.” 
“I wouldn’t call it bothering,” James gave you a look. “I made you dinner.” 
“Yeah you did, and unfortunately it was really good too,” you sighed. “So you just want to hang out with me and Liana?”
“Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”
“A little considering I always have baby vomit on me now,” you chuckled. 
“It brings out your eyes,” he teased. “Here, why don’t I take her.”
“Last time I agreed to that you riled her up, which I didn’t think was possible for a three month old,” you eyed him skeptically. 
“I promise I’ll put her to sleep,” he crossed his heart. 
“Wrong religion, James,” you shook your head and he laughed. 
“Do you want me to swear on the Torah?”
“It would help,” you nodded. 
“Alright, I swear on the Torah that I won’t rile her up.”
You reluctantly passed Liana over to James and scoffed when she almost immediately stopped fussing. 
“See,” he smiled and kissed her small nose while he rocked her gently, making her eyes slowly close as she fell asleep. 
“You two are in kahoots. She’s fine whenever you’re not around, but when you are it’s like she knows she can get passed off to you if she’s fussy enough,” you laughed a little. “It’s cute though, I like how much she likes you.”
“Me too, why do you think I keep coming here?” 
“So you came to visit, what do you want to do?” you asked. “My plans were to clean the kitchen and do laundry, so not much more exciting than sitting around at home.”
“Why don’t you let me put her down then we can tackle the kitchen together. I mean I did make half of the mess there.”
“I won’t argue with you there,” you sighed and put your hands on your hips. “Okay, I’m gonna throw a load in before you put her down.” 
It took a little bit for James to be confident Liana was fully asleep before putting her down in her cot and then meeting you again in the kitchen where you were packing up leftovers from dinner. 
“Have you had many visitors?” James asked. 
“Well, I do have this one guy that keeps coming around, about this tall, practicing oncology, I think he’s a little bit obsessed with me,” you joked. 
“Aside from me,” he shook his head and went over to the dishes. 
“Yeah, a few. My parents were here for a bit while you were out of town and then some of my friends have come around to help with a few things here and there and to meet Liana.”
“Nice.”
“You sound like you want to say something,” you looked back at him. 
“It’s not too much having me over all the time, is it?”
“No, not at all,” you shook your head. “You know me, I’d tell you if it was.”
“Because I really do like spending time with you both. It’s a lot nicer than going to an empty house at the end of the day,” he admitted. “So if you don’t mind, maybe I can keep bothering you and making a mess in your kitchen.”
“I think that would be okay,” you smiled. 
You cleaned in silence for a bit before James began asking a few questions about Liana. 
“She had an appointment with her pediatrician recently, right? Everything went okay?”
“Yeah, fit as a fiddle,” you sighed. “Thank goodness.”
“Have you decided if you’re gonna use formula yet? Or will you wait it out?”
“I was actually going to ask you about this, whenever I ask anyone I think has an opinion I’d like to hear they say I need to make the decision myself and then everyone I don’t want to hear from seems to have something to say,” you chuckled. “What do you think? As a doctor?”
“I mean, if I were in your situation I might wait a bit longer, she’s still pretty young and there’s no real reason to switch over yet. I think a lot of people start maybe around 12 months and from what I’ve seen that works well,” he shrugged. 
“Thanks for giving me a straight answer,” you placed a hand on his arm. “I also don’t know if I should try and take leave from work or hire a nanny, but I think I probably have to figure that one out myself.”
“Do you have enough savings to take the time off?” he asked. 
“I get a few more months paid leave from the company I work for since I have seniority, but after that I have to figure out what to do. I think I have enough saved to last me some time, but I’m going to have to go back eventually.”
James hummed thoughtfully. 
“Do you wanna come up with solutions tonight or relax now that we’ve finished cleaning?” he asked, motioning his head to the kitchen that was definitely in better shape than before. 
“Let’s watch a movie or something, I don’t think I’ve turned the TV on since Liana was born. I’ll fold the laundry when it’s done while we watch,” you said. “I’ll figure something out later.”
“We should watch, oh jeez what’s that thing we started ages ago and never finished?”
“The really bad soap?” you asked and he nodded, “Oh yes, we’re definitely watching that.”
“Okay, you go get settled, I’m gonna make some tea, do you want some?”
“Sure, just make me whatever you’re having,” you nodded and grabbed the remote from under the pile of blankets on the couch, turning on the TV and trying to find the episodes you had recorded to watch later. 
By the time James had finished making the tea, you had found the show and were just about to start it. 
“Here,” James passed you the mug. “So what was the last thing that happened?”
“I think the main guy was sleeping with the head nurse, right and then there was the whole thing with her being engaged to the other surgeon and then her sister was in a coma?” 
“Wait, I thought the surgeon she was engaged to was sleeping with one of his patients?” 
“He was,” you nodded. “It was a whole thing.”
“Alright, just start it, I’m sure I’ll remember more as we watch.”
James was very sorely mistaken, if anything he’d gotten more confused and you were absolutely no help because nothing was making sense anymore. 
“What is up with the writing?” you asked. “Like did they just completely forget they had a whole storyline dedicated to this huge procedure and now they’re acting like nothing happened.”
“Don’t get me started, that guy was doing surgery without gloves, like that doesn’t even take much effort to get right. You’d think it was common sense,” James added. 
“Maybe we should turn it off,” you looked over at your friend, “it’s getting us all riled up.”
James pressed his lips together, “I know, but I kind of want to find out who’s the father of Paula’s baby.”
You leaned back into the couch, you had managed to fold all the laundry, and it was still a little too early to go to sleep, you supposed a few more episodes couldn’t hurt. 
“If I fall asleep, just lock up on your way out, okay?” you looked over at him and he nodded as you started the next episode. 
Just as you predicted, about halfway through the second episode you began to drift off, and as soon as James noticed, he stopped the episode already having decided you could finish it together another time. 
He shifted you slightly so you were lying down on the couch instead of in the uncomfortable position you were in before, placing a blanket over top of you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, wishing you a good night before going to check on Liana, and after seeing she was sleeping soundly and the baby monitor was on, he saw himself out, taking your spare key from where it was hidden on the porch and locking the door. 
“How’s my girl doing?” James grinned, scooping Liana out of your arms. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” he kissed her nose making her giggle. 
“James, you were here two days ago,” you laughed. 
“And it feels like an eternity.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, “She’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
“I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “Just as long as we get to spend time together.”
“Yeah, well she hasn’t napped yet so it can wait until after that,” you reached to take her back but James insisted he could put her to sleep. “James, you just got off work are you sure you don’t want to eat something or take a break for a bit?”
“This is like a break for me,” he assured you. 
“Okay, I’m gonna make a salad, come out and eat when you’re done.”
James nodded and went off to the bedroom so he could sit on the armchair there and coax her to sleep. 
Usually he didn’t need more than twenty minutes to half an hour to put her down, so when you were hitting the forty-five minute mark you wondered if Liana was being fussy, so you went to check in on them, instead seeing James fast asleep on the armchair with Liana snuggled against his chest. 
You bit back a big smile and went to go grab your camera quickly, and quietly snapped a shot of the two of them. 
Not wanting to wake either of them, you made your way back to the kitchen, shutting the door of the room behind you to make sure the sound didn’t travel. 
Figuring it might be a while before James came back out, you decided to eat your dinner, that way you could take Liana from him when they woke up so he could get something to eat too. 
As you had predicted, James exited the room about an hour later, Liana now awake and hungry for her own dinner. 
“Want me to take her now?” you teased and he rolled his eyes while you took your baby from him, sitting on the couch to feed her while he grabbed himself something to eat. “You had a good nap?”
“Great actually, I think I needed it. Been pulling a lot of late nights at the office getting paperwork done,” he admitted. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake me.”
“You looked comfortable, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Well, I appreciate it cause I needed the sleep,” he sighed and came and sat next to you while he began to eat his dinner. 
“James, I…I tried to talk to him the other week,” you said, knowing he would be able to connect the dots back to your ex. “I’d been meaning to tell you, it just slipped my mind I guess.”
“You did…what did he say?”
“God, I’m gonna start crying again,” you let out a humourless chuckle and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears beginning to form in your eyes. “It doesn’t matter what he said. What matters is that it was probably good that we broke up. He wouldn’t have been a good father or husband for that matter when it came down to it.”
“I’m proud of you for reaching out anyways. It takes a lot of guts to do that after someone leaves you.”
You nodded your head, “I’m just…I know I said you should keep coming here because you want to, but I really do like having you around. It just makes it seem simpler. Easier,” you looked over at him. “You’re a good friend Jamie, I love you.”
“Love you too,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, watching as your attention turned back to your daughter as she finished feeding. 
You held her just like that in your arms for a little while longer, watching as she reached out for your fingers and then tried to go even further to grab James. Clearly her attention was addictive because he was ready to put his food down to help burp her, but you made a teasing remark about him hogging her and that he needed to eat his food so you’d take care of it and he could have her when he was done. 
Eventually, you traded Liana for James’ dishes and went to load the dishwasher while he kept her occupied, letting her gnaw on his tie while making all sorts of nonsensical baby noises that James took as conversation starters. 
It was funny to watch the two have what looked like a full blown conversation and you were sure James had been reading some parenting magazine or another that spoke of helping babies develop linguistic abilities. 
“Hey James,” you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the wall. 
“Yeah?”
“Do you want a key?”
“A key to what?” he looked at you confused. 
“The house,” you said. “I just thought since you’re here all the time you can come and go whenever you want and if you forget something and I’m out you can come get it yourself.”
“A key,” he thought about it. “This feels like a big milestone moment.”
“I mean I already have the key to your place, but that was because you refused to have anyone look after you after you got your wisdom teeth removed.”
“Wait, you have my key?” 
“Yeah, I just took yours and had it copied,” you shrugged. 
“I feel like I should be a bit more concerned about this, but I’m not.”
“It’s because you’re friends with House, you’re used to it,” you waved him off. 
“Liana, did you know your mom’s a thief?” he looked down at the baby in his arms and you rolled your eyes. 
“Do you want the key or not?” 
“I’ll take it, and I guess you can keep mine, but I’m never there anyways.”
“It’s okay, I’ll just use it if I need to steal your social insurance card to commit identity theft.”
“Liana banana, your mom’s being very silly tonight,” James picked her up and held her out in front of him before bringing her down to press a few kisses to her face, making her giggle. “It’s okay, we still love mommy even though she’s silly, right?”
“You better,” you flicked his shoulder as you walked by after grabbing an ice cream sandwich from the freezer. 
“Hey, I’ve got something in my bag I forgot to give you, do you mind bringing it over here?” James asked, motioning to the briefcase on the armchair closest to the front door. 
You nodded your head and stood up again to grab it and pass it to him. He rummaged through it with one hand while still holding Liana before passing you what looked like a receipt. 
“Uh thanks?” you looked a little confused. 
“Read what it’s for,” James chuckled. “They’ll get delivered next week.” 
“James,” you put the receipt down. “You didn’t.” 
“You’ve been talking about it for four months, I had to do something,” he shrugged. “And I didn’t get you anything for your baby shower.” 
“Because you planned it,” you laughed. “Seriously this is a lot. I don’t know if I can accept this.” 
“Just think of it this way. I’m here all the time, we like to go out with Liana together and it’s a great stroller with good safety ratings.” 
“Okay sure you’ll use that, but the cot too?” 
“The one you have in there’s been recalled, I was just doing you a favour,” he said. 
You chuckled a little, pressing your lips together. “Liana, my darling, we are very spoiled.” 
“I’ll come over when it gets delivered and help set it up,” James said. 
“I still don’t know what to say, James, this is…really generous of you.” 
“Believe me, right now nothing makes me happier, and I mean that,” he reached out a hand to you and you took it, giving it a gentle squeeze. 
As promised, the next week James was back at your home to help set up the stroller and the cot and you figured it would be the right time to pull out that camcorder your father had gotten you to help record some memories you were making with Liana. 
“Hey, James wanna tell the camera what you’re doing?” 
“Wondering why I didn’t get a degree in engineering apparently.” he mumbled while hunched over some instructions, a pencil behind his ear and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 
“What does your assistant think?” you moved the camera over to Liana, sitting in a rocking seat that was propped up next to James. 
“That this video isn’t going to be very good for my image in the future. This stuff is worse than IKEA,” he scratched the back of his head. 
“You’re doing great,” you assured him and came to give him an encouraging side hug. “Alright, let me stop this video and we can try and tackle it together.” 
You put the camera down on the bed and looked over the instructions with James, having a bit of an easier time piecing things together compared to him, so in the end you were put on deciphering the instructions while he assembled the cot. 
An embarrassing amount of time later, the cot was completely assembled (only after having to disassemble it all the first time because there was one piece left over and you had no idea what step you had missed using it), and you carefully placed Liana inside to see how it would hold up. 
“You know they say you can be proud of something you built with your own two hands, but I’m afraid this is going to fall apart,” James said. 
“We followed the instructions really carefully, it should be fine,” you said, trying to convince yourself. “And Liana looks comfortable in there, look at her she’s giggling.” 
“I think that’s because we look like we’ve been building a house or something,” he looked between you, seeing your dirty clothes and messed up hair. 
“Who knew putting together a cot would be so labour intensive,” you chuckled. “I think we can safely say we deserve some takeout. What do you want?” 
“Anything, I’m starving,” James sat down on the edge of the bed. “You think this will help her sleep a little better?” 
“Let’s hope so,” you rubbed your temples. “You coming?” you asked, taking Liana out of the cot and carrying her out towards the door. 
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute,” he nodded and you left him in the room, staring at the wooden baby’s bed in front of him. It was a simple thing you had both made together, but for James, it was starting to feel like so much more than just that. 
You built a cot, but what did building a cot mean? What did it mean that he bought it for you without a second question or a moment’s hesitation? What did it mean that he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he stepped into this house? 
It probably meant a lot of things, but at the moment, to James, it felt like he had a family and he’d hold onto that for as long as he was able to. 
As much as you wished it could be, not every day was easy. Today was one of those days at the end of a long week and you wanted nothing more than to collapse and call it quits. 
Something was wrong with Liana, she was never this fussy, but all the doctors would just repeat the same thing over and over again. 
She has colic. 
You have a colic-y baby. 
Your baby has colic. She’s going to be fine.
She didn’t sound fine. Not when she would cry and cry and you didn’t know what was happening or how to make her feel better. It made your heart feel tight and constricted especially when all you could do was bounce and rock her in hopes that it might soothe whatever was going on inside her. 
You were so focused on the sounds of the crying baby you didn’t hear the door unlock as James entered the house. After putting down his bags, he followed the sound of the crying before finding you in the rocking chair in your room, gently hushing Liana to try and coax her back to sleep. 
“James,” you tried to stand up when you noticed he was there, but he rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder and encouraging you to sit back down. “I’m afraid we’re not really having a fun day today. You might want to just go home and rest,” you suggested. 
“What’s going on?” he asked. 
“James, I’m serious I-,” 
“Hey,” he said gently, quieting you as a hand came to hold your cheek. “Talk to me, mom. What’s happening?” 
You pressed your lips together and shook your head. 
“I don’t know,” you let the tears spill from your eyes, just as they were for Liana, but you basked in the comfort James’ simple action offered. “She just keeps crying and I don’t know what’s wrong. T-They kept saying she has colic, but this isn’t colic, James.” 
He nodded his head and wiped away your tears while trying to think of a solution to the problem in front of you. 
“I have an idea, just give me a second, I’ll be right back.” 
James went off to the kitchen and came back with a bit of a white powder on his finger. He helped you sit Liana up before getting her to eat a little bit of it. 
“What is that?” 
“Just baking soda. I saw this in a few babies. Doctors think it’s colic, but it’s reflux. Have you been eating anything different from usual?” he asked. 
“Me?” 
“Yeah, it might be something she’s allergic to getting in the breast milk,” he explained while rubbing Liana’s back. “Here let me take her so you can have a break. Go to the kitchen, get some water and write down a list of what you’ve been eating recently and we’ll go over it and see if we can find anything that lines up with her fussiness.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“I’ll survive,” he nodded. 
You passed over your baby to him and made your way out of the room, following James’ suggestion and noticing how with a little bit of time her crying had quieted down and instead was replaced by softer sniffles and a much nicer sound. It drew you away from the list you were leaning over and back to the door of the bedroom where you leaned in the frame and watched and listened while James, with his back turned to you, sang a soft lullaby to Liana. 
I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.
Over and over like a prayer until Liana’s sniffles had faded and there was only silence. 
He carefully put her back in her bed, waiting a few moments to make sure she was really sleeping, before turning back and seeing you standing in the doorway. 
When he made his way up to you, you reached out and pulled him into as tight of a hug as you’d ever given him. You held onto the sleeves of your shirt while one arm came under his and across his back with the other around his neck, holding him as close to you as you possibly could. 
“You okay?” James asked and you nodded your head, silently while a few more tears streamed down your face. 
“I will be.” 
“I-,” James faltered for a moment, but he said it anyway. “I love you.” 
“I love you too.” 
Three words he had said so many times, that had meant a particular thing when he said them to you, but now he couldn’t help but feel like they meant something a little different. 
You both stayed like that a moment longer before you pulled apart, wiping away your tears and going back to your list to see if James’ theory could be correct. 
“Maybe try cutting these ones out of your diet,” he suggested. “See if she gets any better and if not call me and I’ll get her an appointment with one of the pediatricians at the hospital.” 
“Okay,” you nodded. “I just don’t get why they kept saying colic like is that just some doctor term for I don’t know what’s wrong, but your baby is fussy?” 
“I don’t know,” James shook his head, “but don’t ever let anyone bully you into not trusting your gut. She’s your daughter and you know her best.” 
“You seem to know her pretty well too. You took one look at her and managed to help her when I couldn’t,” you pinched the bridge of your nose. 
“Coincidence,” he patted your shoulder. 
“Give yourself a little credit. You’re with her a lot too, it’s part of why I trust your judgement so much when it comes to her. I know you’re not just going to tell me some medical mumbo jumbo you…you’re with her, you see how she is, you know.” 
“I don’t know how you managed to hold it together so well,” James said. “I was in there with her for twenty minutes and I wanted to cry right with her.” 
“It’s so hard,” you shook your head. “You can tell she’s uncomfortable, that something’s wrong, but she can’t tell you what.” 
James nodded his head, “Before you know it she’ll be walking and talking and hopefully it’ll be a lot easier to understand what she needs.” 
“It’s hard to imagine that,” you chuckled. “She is growing so fast though.” 
“And you’re doing a great job,” James wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you took a deep breath. You wanted to correct him and say ‘we’re doing a great job’, but everything about this felt so delicate. It wasn’t his responsibility to parent Liana and you didn’t want to pressure him into thinking that it had become that, but regardless you felt like he’d been around so much it would be wrong to give yourself full credit for everything. 
“It takes a village,” you settled on saying, extending your arm so it was wrapped around him as well. “Speaking of a village, I need to hire a nanny.” 
“So you’re going to go back to work?” he asked and you nodded. 
“Just part time for now. Pay is good enough. I should be fine with that for a while.” 
“Good,” James nodded. “Do you need help going through resumes?” 
“Nah, Janine is taking care of that for me, her boyfriend works with the police so free background checks. She’s gonna send me a short list and then I’ll interview them.” 
You looked up at James and chuckled, 
“You seem surprised.” 
“I didn’t know you outsourced to other people too,” he teased. 
“Are you jealous, Jamie?” you tickled his sides a little bit. “Come on, you know you’re my number one. Can you seriously tell me you could have gotten police-level background checks on nannies?” 
“I could have tried.” 
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m gonna save you from this job so you can help me with other stuff, okay?” you turned him around and patted his chest. “I love you, James, but you can’t do it all. I have to look out for you too.” 
“You don’t have to look after me,” he assured you. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, I can take care of myself.” 
“James, that’s the whole point of this,” you pointed between you. “I’m not about to let it be one-sided.” 
“Is that why you keep packing me lunches?” he asked. 
“Maybe,” you shrugged. “And it's kind of fun leaving you little notes.” 
“House thinks I’m seeing someone because of what you put in the last one. He steals my food, you know.” 
“I’ll just pack double next time,” you laughed. 
James smiled at the sound of your laughter, savouring the moment of levity he was able to bring you after a long and hard few days. 
You looked back up at him once your laughter had died down and filled with a quiet sense of gratitude, you could help but lean into his side, sighing contentedly and it made you feel warm to the touch when his arm wrapped around you and pulled you in closer. 
Things may not have been simple or easy, but at least they felt right.
James was just about to leave his office to get some food in the cafeteria when he heard the phone ring, keeping him seated at his desk so he could answer. 
“Hello, Oncology Department. Dr. James Wilson speaking.”
“James, it’s me,” you said quickly, almost like you were in a hurry. 
“Is something wrong?” he asked. 
“Nothing dire,” you sighed. “My nanny got sick and my backup nanny is out of town and I have this huge meeting at work I cannot miss, but I-I don’t have anyone to look after Liana. I hate to ask this, you know I wouldn’t bug you unless it was a real emergency, but can I bring her by? Just for two maybe three hours tops. Then I’ll come grab her and she can be in my office with me for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah, of course, bring her over,” James nodded. “I have a few patient consults today, but nothing too strenuous or contagious for a small baby.”
“James, are you sure? I feel really bad asking-,”
“It’s fine. Today was going to be boring anyway, I could use some Liana time to spice things up.”
“James, I love you, you’re a lifesaver,” you breathed a sigh of relief. “I owe you one okay? Cash it in whenever.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna go grab a quick bite to eat. I’ll meet you in my office when you come.”
“Great, see you then.”
You both hung up and when James came back upstairs you were just arriving at his office with Liana strapped in her car seat and a bag slung around your shoulder. 
“Okay, I’ve got snacks, and a carrier, and her toys, and-,”
“Goodness, take a breath,” James chuckled. “We’re gonna be fine, I’ve looked after her before.” 
“I know, I know. I’m just nervous about this meeting and rushing around to get everything prepped and then the nannies fell through,” you took a deep breath to try and slow your heart down and James put a hand on your shoulder assuring you everything was going to be alright. 
“You’re gonna kill it at that meeting, alright?” he pulled you in for a quick hug. 
“Thanks again, I seriously appreciate and love you and your big fat heart.” 
“Thanks, I think,” he chuckled again. “I love you too.”
You kissed your hand and tapped it on his cheek before doing the same for Liana who smiled and James took a moment to stare out the door and watch you as you left the room, still feeling his heart beating a little faster after having said I love you. 
Ever since the day he came over when Liana was having a hard time, his heart would race and his palms would get sweaty every time he’d say those three words, knowing he meant it in a different way than he had been saying it all these years. 
“Liana banana, what am I gonna do,” James sighed and bent down so he was at eye level with her. “Do you think your mom knows?”
Liana babbled a response. 
“Me neither,” he sighed. “It’s okay though, cause we’re gonna have a fun day right?”
He unclipped her from the seat after fastening the baby carrier to his back to begin with before propping her up and clipping her inside. 
Once he was content with that, he checked the time and noticed he was almost late for a meeting with a patient who was staying at the hospital for treatment. 
James made his way down the halls, knowing not many would question him about the baby on his back, that was aside from his boss who now seemed to be walking directly towards him. 
He quickly took a detour into an empty room and thinking he lost her, let out a breath only to be startled when the door opened and Cuddy was standing in front of him. 
“Wilson,” she started. 
“Mhmm.”
“What’s on your back?” she asked, trying to get a better look, but James simply turned around.
“Oh it’s just a backpack,” he lied, only to be immediately ratted out by Liana’s nonsensical sounds. 
“You have a talking backpack?” Cuddy looked at him skeptically. 
“No, it’s a tumour. I’m dying,” he lied again, even more poorly than before.
Cuddy sighed, “Are we gonna get sued for it?” 
James pressed his lips together and shook his head. 
“Will someone get mad at you for it?”
He shook his head again.
“Is House involved?”
A third time. 
“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “I won’t question your…talking backpack tumour.”
James nodded his head and Cuddy left the room which hopefully meant he was in the clear for the rest of the day. 
Liana had other ideas and decided she didn’t like being in the carrier on his back anymore and began to cry. James wondered what was different, he’d done this with her before, but perhaps it was the new environment and she just wanted to be where she could see him.
So after some maneuvering, he changed the positioning of the carrier and put Liana back inside and she seemed much more relaxed afterwards. 
When he got to his patient he apologized for being late, but they were more focused on the child that James had yet to introduce. 
“Sorry, I’m a little all over the place right now,” he chuckled. “This is Liana, she’s going to be joining us today.”
“Is she your daughter?” he asked, seeing the way James smiled and held her when he introduced her. 
“No,” James shook his head. “She’s the daughter of one of my close friends. I’m just doing her a favour today.”
“Either way, it’s always nice to see someone smiling and happy around here.”
“Yeah, I thought so too,” James nodded. 
“How old is she?”
“Six months as of two weeks ago.”
“They grow fast, don’t they?”
James smiled and nodded, “They sure do.”
They continued their consult, and before long James wrapped things up and headed back to his office to meet with another patient. 
This time around he was feeding and burping Liana throughout the meeting and it felt so much like second nature to him, it didn’t take him away at all from the questions the patient was asking, and much like he expected, having a baby in the room was a nice distraction from the heavy subject matter. 
He got through the next few patients with ease, and he felt lucky that House only decided to come in after all his meetings were over. 
“Is that a baby?” House squinted, looking at Liana who was calmly playing with a toy in James’ lap. 
“No, it’s an alien,” he deadpanned and House ignored his comment. 
“Why do you have a baby? That must be breaking some hospital rule.”
“Since when do you care about rules?”
“Cause rules are there to protect us,” House said sarcastically. “Is this the one you spend all your free time with?”
“Her name is Liana,” James said while standing up and moving to put her in her car seat for a moment. “House, I’m gonna ask you to do something and I’m going to trust that you won’t blow this up in my face.”
“Go on.”
“I need to use the washroom, but you’ve seen the way they get cleaned here, I don’t want to bring Li with me,” he said. “Can you watch her for five minutes? You don’t even have to do anything, just stare at her in the carrier.”
House thought about it for a moment before eventually agreeing, James completely oblivious to his friend’s ulterior motive.
House first sat across from her, turning her car seat around on the table so it was facing him. They stared at each other for a few moments before House stood up and grabbed a picture from one of James’ shelves, sitting back down in front of her. 
“You’re probably too young to do this, but never too young to learn, right?”
Liana had no response. 
“You see this guy?” House pointed to James in the photo. “He’s dada, right?”
House continued to prompt her, even though he knew she was too young to speak, thinking this would make a great prank if he played his cards right. 
House continued to go back and forth with Liana between her babbles, until he heard James begin to open the door of the office. 
“Everything okay?” he asked. 
“Perfect,” House nodded. “Your daughter’s an angel.” 
James frowned, unable to tell if House was being sarcastic or not, but he was quickly distracted by the frame in his hand.
“Why do you have that picture?” James came closer and took it from him.
“Oh, just trying to pass the time with a story.” 
“The story of what exactly? This is just a picture of me with my parents.” 
“I don’t know I made something up, she’s a baby, she won’t remember,” House insisted before leaving the office before James could ask any more questions. 
A little confused by the encounter, he made his way over to Liana who was reaching out for him. 
He checked the time, seeing as your meeting should probably have been over by then and decided to give you a call. 
“Hey, I was just about to come and pick Liana up,” you said. 
“Yeah, about that, do you just want to leave her with me for the rest of the day?” he asked. “She’s been really good and honestly I think the patients have been loving seeing a baby around.” 
“James, it’s fine, my meeting is over. I can come get her,” you said. 
James pressed his lips together before gathering the nerve to say what he was going to say. 
“I actually would really like it if she could stay with me,” he said. “If you’re okay with it.”
You paused, “This isn’t just some round about way for you to find a way to give me a break?” you asked. 
“No, I’m really happy she’s here. I was going to come over after work anyways.” 
“You still have the car seat hookup in your car?” you asked and he confirmed. “Okay, call me if you need anything, Jamie.” 
“I will, and thank you.” 
“Just don’t break her, okay, she’s not replaceable,” you teased. 
“I’ll bring her back in one piece,” James chuckled. “We’ll be fine, right Li?” 
James gave her a little tickle so that you could hear her laugh in response and you couldn't help but smile before saying goodbye and feeling more at ease leaving her with James than you ever had leaving her with a babysitter. 
It always felt interesting coming back to Princeton-Plainsboro after you had given birth to Liana. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and maybe not so great of your pregnancy, but recently you and Liana had been visiting a little more often to have lunch with James when you weren’t working. 
Today wasn’t one of those days, you were actually just on your way back home after running a few errands and since you were in the area you thought you might stop in and talk to James about that evening. 
When you went by his office you peeked inside and noticed he wasn’t there and before you could decide the best course of action, you heard a semi familiar voice behind you. 
“You looking for Wilson?” 
You turned around and saw House standing in front of you. 
“Yeah, actually. Do you know where he is?” 
“I think he just went to Cuddy’s office,” he said. 
“Alright, I’ll head back downstairs then,” you smiled and were about to haul Liana’s car seat with you, but House stopped you. 
“If you want I can look after her in my office,” he said.
“Really?” you seemed a little surprised from the offer, but figured it couldn’t be too bad to leave her with him for five minutes. 
“Sure,” House nodded, making it seem like it was no big deal, when really he had already pocketed a picture of James and was looking for another opportunity to continue his prank. 
“Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you said while walking over to his office and putting her car seat on the main table before walking down the hallways and over to the elevator to go and find James, but just to your luck, he was coming out just as you had planned to enter. “Hey, I was looking for you,” you smiled. 
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were coming, did we make plans?” he asked, worried he’d forgotten about something. 
“No, I was just in the area and, well my mom and dad are coming over for dinner tonight, I was wondering if you wanted to join us.” 
“Dinner sounds nice,” James nodded. “And I haven’t seen your parents in a while, I just seem to miss them every time they come into town.” 
“Yeah, that’s why I thought I’d ask, also maybe as a warning in case you wanted to get as far away as you could,” you chuckled. 
“Come on, they’re not that bad,” he nudged you. 
“Most of the time, but then again, you’re not their child.” 
“Wait, where’s Liana?” James asked. “With a sitter at home?” 
“No, I left her with House.” 
James’ eyes went wide, “You left her with House?”
“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” you chuckled as James began to walk towards House’s office to make sure he wasn’t up to one of his many schemes. “James he offered!” you called back and that only made him walk faster. 
It took you a minute to catch up with him, but by that time he was already interrogating House who was simply sitting in front of Liana. 
“Can't I offer to look after my friend’s friend’s baby?” House asked. 
“Usually someone could, but when that person is you you may see why I think you have some ulterior motive.” 
“James what’s going on?” you asked, coming closer to House. “Liana’s fine, I don’t know why you’re being so dramatic.” 
“Yeah, listen to single mom over here,” he pointed to you. 
James backed off if only for your sake, but he still kept a close eye on House as you picked up Liana’s car seat and told James you’d see him after his shift was over. 
He nodded his head and you exchanged a kiss on the cheek before heading out. 
“You’re really telling me you’re not getting some of that on the side?” House asked. 
“House, drop it,” James was unamused. “I know you’re up to something, I just don’t know what.” 
“I guess you’re just going to have to wait and find out,” House shrugged. “In the meantime may I suggest you go get your freak on with the mom? You know she probably hasn’t slept with anyone since that kid was conceived, I’m sure you’d have an easy time convincing her.” 
“Shut up, House,” James rolled his eyes and left the office before he could suggest anything more obscene. 
He was thankful when the end of his shift came, and before heading to your place he made a stop at the store to buy some flowers and dessert to bring over. 
By this point, it was such a habit, he never knocked, just opened the door with his key and announced his presence to whoever was in the house. 
“Hey Liana, look who’s here,” you smiled and pointed to James while Liana was being held by your mother. 
Liana became very excited at the sight of him and he quickly put down the things he brought on the table before saying his greetings and giving special attention to Liana by means of a kiss on her nose and caress of her face. 
“Do you want something to drink?” you asked. “Mom and dad brought some fancy-looking sparkling fruit juice.” 
“I could go for some of that,” James nodded. “How have you guys been, I missed you the last time you were in town.” 
“We’ve been good,” your dad nodded. 
“Unfortunately our granddaughter doesn’t come to visit us very much,” your mom gave you a bit of a look and you rolled your eyes. 
“Mom, you guys are retired, I have a job, why don’t we keep this ‘you visit me’ arrangement a while longer until my life sorts itself out a bit more.” 
“She’s not wrong, honey,” your dad came and patted his wife’s shoulder. 
“I know, I just wish we got to see Liana more. We should come down more often.” 
“What about you, James, anything new in your life?” 
James looked over at you before shaking his head. 
“No, still working at the same place still…” 
“Trying to find the right person,” you filled in for him, placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him his drink. 
“Yeah,” he nodded with a soft smile and couldn’t help but laugh a little internally at the irony. Maybe the right person had been there all along, the person he’d never once pulled away from, the person he let take care of him, the person who he’d realized he’d most definitely fallen in love with, but risking things between you was out of the question so he would have to be content with the way things were. 
“You’re the head of your department, right?” your mom asked and James nodded. “Wow, that’s quite something, your parents must be proud of you.” 
“Yes, it never fails to come up in conversation with my mother,” he chuckled. 
Liana began to fuss a little bit in her grandmother’s arms and after a few failed attempts at calming her down James offered to take over. 
“Are you sure, honey?” she asked. “She gets a bit cranky and it’s hard to calm her down.” 
“Don’t worry mom, James is an expert,” you assured her. 
James nodded and confirmed he was sure before gently bouncing Liana until she stopped crying and wiping away whatever tears of hers were remaining. 
“She seems very attached to you,” your dad remarked and James looked down at Liana who now had her head resting against his chest. 
“The feeling’s quite mutual,” James chuckled. “Does she need to be fed?” he asked you. 
“Yeah we’re probably getting close to that time now, I’ll warm up the bottle. Maybe I can feed her and you can deal with the sauce on the stove, it’s missing something and I can’t place it.” 
“Sure,” James nodded and waited for you to heat up Liana’s bottle before passing her over and taking a turn at the stove. 
Your parents watched your interactions curiously and shared a few looks between themselves, but chose to say nothing. They’d known James since you were both nineteen and a lot of things had happened since then, but a lot of time had passed too. It was interesting how your comfort with each other in friendship had so naturally extended itself in this way that you were practically functioning as a family whether you noticed it, or maybe deliberately chose to ignore it. 
After you fed Liana and burped her, she was quick to fall asleep and you placed her in her cot in your room before joining James and your parents in the kitchen where they were bringing things to the dining room to lay them out on the table.
“This looks really delicious sweetheart, thank you for making dinner,” your dad said. “And you too James for taking over there in the home stretch.” 
“For all we know it could have tasted terrible before he came in so he can take the credit for that,” you chuckled. 
“No, I gave it a taste before adding anything. It just needed a little something sour to balance some things out, otherwise it was perfect,” he assured you. 
Dinner with your parents was mostly small talk. They shared a little about some of your relatives they had recently spoken to or visited and asked James how his family was doing and they left fairly early to start the drive back home. 
“I’ll load the dishes you put away the leftovers?” James yawned and you chuckled. 
“How about I do both since I had a day off and you go and lay down for a bit,” you suggested. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m fine,” James waved his hand but yawned again. 
“Go to sleep, James. That’s not a suggestion,” you walked up to him. “My ex left some sweatpants here you can change into those and take off this button up,” you tugged at his shirt. 
James pressed his lips together and nodded his head, before heading over to the bedroom and quietly getting changed before climbing into bed and not fighting the sleep that came. 
He initially wasn’t sure how much later it was when he woke up, but by the looks of it much too late to go come considering you were next to him, despite being groggy, he had a million and one things crossing his mind, but all of those were thrown out when he heard Liana begin to cry. 
You shifted next to him, waking up to go and take care of it, but James put an arm on your shoulder. 
“I’ve got it, go back to sleep,” he assured you. 
You were too tired to argue with him and let your head hit the pillow again while he stood up and picked Liana up from her crib, heading out to the kitchen so he could heat up a bottle for her before coming back and sitting in the chair to feed her. 
You watched the scene in front of you and you felt yourself wanting to memorize every detail. How he held her, the quiet things he whispered, the way she curled into his arms while he stood up and rocked her back to sleep. 
When he came back to the bed he noticed you were awake and he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled looking up at him with his messy hair. Suddenly you were nineteen again and banging on the door of cabin 3 trying to wake your fellow counsellor to come and deal with an emergency. To you he looked the same as he did all those years ago. 
“I told you to go back to sleep.” 
“Not everyone can fall asleep instantly,” you yawned with a chuckle. 
“You didn’t wake me up to leave,” he said quietly, his head resting on his hand that propped him up. 
“You always look so peaceful when you sleep, I feel evil whenever I have to wake you up,” you remarked, but behind your eyes if he could see through the darkness of the room, he would have seen them saying something else. That you wanted him to stay, you didn’t want to wake him up because you wanted to wake up next to him. “You don’t mind do you?” 
“That you’re making me do the walk of shame in the morning?” James teased and shook his head. 
“Just shut up and go back to sleep, Jamie,” you yawned with a chuckle. 
He moved so he was laying down on his back with an arm behind his head and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Maybe he could feel you staring because he reached his other arm out and pulled you closer and you moved with him until your head rested against his chest, your arm draped over top of him. 
He gave you a gentle squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 
“Goodnight, Jamie,” you mumbled into his shirt. 
You couldn’t see how he looked down and smiled at you after you said that, all that filled your ears was a quiet, “Goodnight.”
“I haven’t seen you in a few days, how have you been?” 
James sat on the carpet of the living room, playing with Liana who was crawling around him while you brought over two mugs of tea so you could chat while you entertained the growing baby. 
“Good for the most part, just had a patient who wasn’t doing so great so I spent some extra time at the hospital to keep an eye on things. Not to mention House has been bugging me to go out and it’s been a while so I figured what’s the harm.”
“He got you plastered and you made a fool of yourself, didn’t he?” you asked and James nodded while you laughed. “Liana, did James go out with House and act like an idiot?” you tickled the ten month old and she giggled before coming closer to you, tapping on your legs with her hands. 
“Don’t listen to your mama, Li, she’s trying to-,”
“Mama,” Liana repeated after James had spoken and you both stopped dead in your tracks. 
You looked over at James and his smile was just as wide as yours before you picked Liana up and smothered her with kisses. 
“Liana, look at you! You said your first word!”
“Good job, Liana banana,” James grinned and gave her cheek a little pinch which made her reach out to him and say, 
“Dada.”
You both had a similar reaction to what happened moments ago, only this time it was pure shock. Maybe you had misheard her, but when she repeated herself, James could feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. 
“I-I don’t know where she learnt that from,” he told you. “I swear I didn’t teach her that.”
It took a minute for the shock to fade away for you, but once it did you tried to assure James that it was okay. 
“I believe you,” you said. “I-I don’t know where she picked it up from, but it’s okay.”
James chewed on his lip, it wasn’t okay though because he wanted nothing more than to hear Liana say that again. 
“It’s not though,” James said softly. “I love her, but I’m not her dad. That’s not fair to her or to you.”
“Jamie,” you pleaded with him, but he still seemed stuck on something. 
“I’m really sorry,” he apologized again. “I feel like I ruined a special moment.”
“I’m trying to tell you it really doesn’t matter,” you assured him, you could see it in his eyes, he wanted to leave, to let you have time alone, but you didn’t want to be alone, you wanted him to stay with you. “Please…please stay.”
James reached out his hand to hold yours and was about to give you his answer when his pager went off. 
Your heart clenched and you watched as he read the message and sighed, standing up because he was needed again at the hospital. 
“Your patient?” you asked, picking Liana up and standing next to him. 
He nodded his head, “They were scheduled for an unrelated surgery and there were some complications, I have to go.”
You understood and James wrapped you in a tight hug and you kissed his cheek. 
“I love you, Jamie.”
“I love you too,” he whispered, wishing he could hold onto you and never let you go, but instead he was pulled away from your warm embrace wondering how on earth Liana had learnt to call him dad. 
“You look like you haven’t slept in days, spending time with the baby again?” House asked, waltzing into James’ office. 
“No, I haven't been over in a few days,” James shook his head. 
“You haven’t been over in a few days…Something happened,” House deduced and James gave him a look. 
“Nothing happened. I’m just taking a break,” he lied. 
“You’ve been going non-stop to spend time with them since the baby was born ten months ago, why do you need a break now?” 
“Because I have a lot on my mind and there’s a few new patients I need to focus on-,” 
“You’re lying.” 
“Yes I am,” James admitted and House grinned. 
“Really?” 
“No, I’m not,” he shook his head and continued to look down and do his work. 
“We do this every single time and every single time I’m right,” House said. “Why don’t we save the back and forth for another time and just skip to the part where you tell me what’s going on.” 
“Oh really and you were right that time you thought I was cheating on my wife and she was the one cheating on me?” he asked. 
“Okay, so I’m not perfect,” House shrugged. “What happened, Wilson? I could just as easily get your friend’s number and ask directly if that’s what you’d prefer.” 
“God no,” James shook his head. “Leave her alone, she doesn’t need to deal with you on top of working and raising a child.” 
“Alright then, what happened?” 
James took a deep breath and sighed, “Liana called me dad the other day. I have no idea where she learnt it from.” 
“She started speaking,” House nodded, pressing his lips together. “Was it her first word or-,” 
“Second. She said mom first,” James said, but caught a glimpse of his friend trying to fight back a smile and suddenly all the offers to take care of Liana paired with the photographs made sense. “You taught her!” he exclaimed. “House I can’t believe you’d pull a prank on me by manipulating my friend’s baby!” 
“Oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal,” House rolled his eyes. 
“House, I cannot believe you!” 
“You’re not mad at me,” House shook his head. “You’re just mad you liked it.” 
“No I’m-,” 
“Yes, you are,” the diagnostician emphasized. “You’ve been sitting here tearing yourself apart for the past four days because she called you dad and you liked it. You’re mad at yourself for liking it because she’s not your kid.” 
“No,” James quieted down. “She’s not.” 
“You haven’t gone back because you’re afraid to hear her say it again, aren’t you?” 
“Since when did you become an expert on my personal problems, House? You caused this, why should I listen to anything you have to say?” 
“Because you’re being an idiot. You’re punishing yourself for liking something. Do you realize how insane that sounds?” 
“It’s not insane, House, she’s not my baby-,” 
“Sure, she’s not your baby and you have her feeding and nap routine memorized. You’ve been to her doctor's appointments, she’s calmer in your arms than she is in the arms of her grandparents. Yeah, go and tell that to any moron sitting out there and they’ll tell you for me, you’re being an idiot.” 
James sighed again, “And why do you care?” 
“Because once you’re done with this spiral we can go back to the way things were when you weren’t a boring depressed lump.” 
“How kind of you,” James faked a smile. 
House’s pager went off, leaving James alone again in his office, thinking about what his friend had said. 
You’d told him so many times that things were okay, but maybe a part of him didn’t want to let him believe that you didn’t mind because that was a slippery slope to him facing himself and his feelings and he didn’t care what his heart was telling him, he wouldn’t put himself through that. He wouldn’t put you and Liana through that. But at the same time, he couldn’t keep himself away forever. He didn’t want that either.
So with a deep breath he picked up his office phone and dialled your number, putting it up to his ear and waiting for the line to connect on the other end. 
“Hello?” 
“Hey, it’s me.” 
“James,” your voice sounded almost relieved. “H-Hey, how are you?” 
He pressed his lips together, “Miserable, actually. I miss you guys.” 
“We miss you too,” you chuckled with a small sniffle. 
“C-Can I come over for dinner tonight?” he asked. 
“You still have a key, what do you think?” you asked with a bit of a laugh. “I’ll see you tonight.” 
“Yeah, see you then,” James smiled and after he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, his fast heartbeat slowing down by the second. 
Maybe this time House was right.
The next few weeks passed by and things resumed to their normal state, much to House’s delight. James’ role as department head always meant at least one day a week where he would stay late and do some extra paperwork, dealing with anything that may have slipped through the cracks before. 
This time, that had fallen on a Sunday and it was just past dinner when he heard a knock on his door and wondering who was on the other end he called for them to come in. 
You opened the door a crack and again asked permission to come in and James smiled at you, looking up from his paperwork, not expecting to see you in the hospital. 
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here, what’s going on?” 
“I just wanted to drop by and bring you something for dinner, I know it’s your paperwork day.” 
“Thanks, that’s really sweet of you,” he stood up from his chair and came to stand in front of his desk, leaning back on it while you placed the take out bag on the table. “Where’s Liana?” 
“Oh Helen’s looking after her tonight,” you said. “I had a few things I needed to do and um just wanted the evening off,” you admitted. 
“Fair enough,” James nodded. 
“I actually brought you something else,” you rolled back and forth on the balls of your feet and James noticed the tension in your stature. “H-Here,” you handed him a gift bag which he eyed curiously. 
Today wasn’t his birthday or some memorable event you celebrated together. There wasn’t much of a reason to get him a present which made it all the more intriguing. 
He pulled out a wrapped rectangular box from the bag, and putting the bag aside he began to carefully tear away the wrapping paper to reveal what looked like a picture frame. Overlaid on the frame, on top of the photo, James noticed a card which he unfolded to read its contents. 
Happy Father’s Day. We love you loads. - Liana and Mom
James moved the card to see the picture and put his hand over his mouth, feeling tears involuntarily form in his eyes as he saw the familiar scene of your room, lit by the light of your lamp as Liana was fast asleep against his chest while he napped on the armchair. 
James quickly wiped away the few tears that were in his eyes and looked up at you with a grateful smile, looking back down at the image before placing it neatly on his desk along with the card. 
“I hope you like it,” you said quietly, biting your lip. “I thought you might want to have a copy of that picture and…you know just a thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Liana this past year.” 
“I love it,” he assured you. “I-I love it and I love you.” 
“I love you too,” you smiled.
“N-No,” James came closer and reached out, taking your hands in his. “I…I love you. I’m in love with you.” 
“Jamie,” you spoke in a breathy whisper, unsure of how you lost your voice. “I-,” you opened your mouth to speak again, but paused when James raised a hand to your face, wiping away the tears you didn’t even notice had begun to stream down. 
“I just don’t want to be away from you, ever,” he said softly. “I never did. And now with Liana, I want to be there, for all of it.” 
You held the wrist of his hand that held your face, pulling him in closer so your foreheads rested against each other. 
You took in a shaky breath, thinking back on those words. Something you’d been saying to each other for longer than you could remember. The first time was so clear in your mind, you were on the phone racking up long distance charges while James was in Montreal. It had slipped out by accident, a reflex, and you had convinced yourself when the phone had hung up you’d never call him back, unable to face what you’d just said, but before you could spiral any further, he said it back and you never stopped saying it.
For the longest time that was the only occurrence that was memorable, everything else was a blur, that was until a few months ago. It was so simple, you had fallen asleep on the couch and James had made sure Liana was fed and bathed and even cleared up some things in the kitchen before sitting on the couch with some tea and a book. You had talked and said I love you as a thank you, but when the words left your mouth they also left a lingering airiness in your heart, a feather light feeling that came crashing down like an anvil when he left to go home because you realized you never wanted to be apart from him.
It took you a few moments to realize you hadn’t said anything and James was anxiously waiting for some sort of communication, anything, but since the meaning of your words had changed, for both of you, you thought it might be more conducive to work in actions.
You closed in the space between you, at first gently resting your lips on his and letting him lead you in a soft and slow kiss, putting aside all the restraint you both had been using these past months in an effort to protect your friendship.
One of James’ hands held onto your waist, pulling you in so that there was no space left between you. He kissed you again and again, remembering each one as a core memory, engraved in his mind, paired with the feeling of your arms wrapped around his neck, the feeling of your body pressed so closely against his, his heart beating outside of his chest. 
It was easy for his lips to trail away from yours, moving along your jaw, to your temple before you had pulled each other into a warm embrace, simply existing in each other’s arms. James thought to himself what a nice life it would be, not ever having to pull away. 
“I don’t have much to say,” James smiled. “Everything is looking good, you still seem 100% healthy to me.” 
“That’s great news.” 
“It definitely is. Standard procedure, but we’ll have one more of these remission follow ups to make sure everything is still in order then you hopefully won’t have to see me again.” 
“Thank you Dr. Wilson, I really appreciate all you’ve-.” 
“Dad!” 
“Sweetheart, wait he’s with a patient!” 
James turned his head and saw Liana running over to him, you valiantly trying to chase after her without much success. 
He quickly scooped her up in his arms before she crashed into him, pressing a big kiss to her cheek. 
“Sorry about that,” James apologized. “It’s Saturday, we normally have lunch together.” 
“No worries,” he chuckled. 
“Liana, this is my patient Mr. Kimbilio, can you say hi?” 
Liana waved and said hi, very exuberantly. 
“This is my daughter,” James introduced. “And that’s my wife,” he pointed over to you. 
“Daughter,” Mr. Kimbilio smiled. “I think I met you Liana, when you were very small. Your father was looking after you at work and so some of his patients got to meet you.” 
“Really?” she looked up at her dad and he nodded. 
“He’s right, I remember that,” James smiled. “You’ve grown a lot since then, haven’t you Li,” he kissed her cheek again and she giggled.
You finally caught up to the group and James greeted you with a quick kiss, passing Liana off to you so he could wrap things up and you could all go down to the cafeteria for lunch together. 
“If I remember correctly,” Mr. Kimbilio started. “You didn’t introduce her as your daughter the first time we met. I’m glad something changed.” 
“Me too,” James smiled, looking over at his wife and daughter fondly who were now in the midst of making him very proud by pulling off a small prank on House as he came out of his office. 
It didn’t take much longer for them to wrap things up and you and Liana made a quick pit stop inside James’ office before heading downstairs.
Liana went to go sit in James’ seat while he put away his files and organized them. 
It had been a while since you’d been in his office, but it felt like ever since the night you first kissed things had begun to change in the room. 
His desk was now more littered with photos than knickknacks and Liana’s artwork was posted wherever there was room. 
You came around to the other side, looking a little more closely at the pictures. 
There was one of you, James, and Liana on your wedding day, another of just the two of you during an anniversary celebration, Liana’s kindergarten photo from school and another one of you as a family on your last vacation. And still as prominent as ever, the framed photo you had gifted James on his first father’s day. 
“You ready to go?” he asked you, looking up and noticing your eyes gazing at the pictures on his desk. 
When you didn’t initially respond, too focused on what you were looking at, James wrapped an arm around you and tilted your chin towards him so he could press a kiss to your lips.
“I love you,” you smiled and James kissed you again, saying.
“And I love you,” before moving over to pick up Liana and kiss her cheek. “And you.”
Liana giggled, feeling tickled by the kisses and moving to give both of you a kiss on the cheek before saying. 
“Mom, Dad, I’m starving. Can we go eat now?”
“Sure, Liana banana,” James chuckled and you wrapped an arm around him, walking side by side out of the office and in the direction of the elevator to get to the cafeteria, thinking you were pretty lucky that in the end, your best friend listened to his heart and went after what he wanted.
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TAGLIST —
@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @kiddbegins @il0vebeingdelulu @illicit4ff4irs @lynnsthoughts @miarabanana @iwmflbb @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey @sarcasm-and-stiles @sun-flower-mad @x-uno @han11dh @qardasngan @alexxavicry
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Concept for Jack: You do that popular tiktok trend together where you paint one another and yours comes out way better than Jacks. 🤭
Self-Portrait
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"Jackman, baby", Jack gently pulled your bottom lip between his teeth as the two of you made out post dinner in his kitchen. Jack lifted you onto the counter without breaking away, his hands massaging your hips.
"Jack." You tried to get his attention to now avail. Its crazy how he could be so focused on you and yet not hear a word you said. You spent all week planning date night for the two of you including a home cooked dinner, a made-from-scratch desert and activities for the two of you to do. The only thing Jack could focus on was making up for weeks of being apart in the bedroom, but you were determined to have an actual date with your boyfriend.
You took the chance at a breath to lightly pull the curls at the nape of Jack's neck to try to get your frisky lover off of you, but he had you pressed against the counter, his lips locked on yours. You could still taste the chocolate cake you made for dessert on his lips as you lightly pecked at him once more before pushing him away at the chest. He let out a defeated grunt as he stepped back, wiping at his swollen lips.
You grabbed at his hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles as he looked at you with pleading eyes. "C'mon, I've got something planned and then I'm all yours."
"Fine", he sighed, following you into the dining room, where you had two easels, glasses of wine and art supplies set up by candlelight. You sat Jack down in his place before taking your own seat. "I saw this thing on TikTok where a couple is tries to paint one another's portrait and then we show them off to each other."
Jack let out a chuckle, running a hand through his messy curls. "You know I'm not really an artist", he gestured to the canvas, "at least not this kind of art." You handed him an artist palette with a variety of acrylic paints on it. "Its just supposed to be fun, okay? No pressure." Jack shrugged as he quickly studied your face before starting to paint.
You didn't consider yourself an artist either, so you took your time taking in the details of Jack's face, the way his bushy brows cut across his forehead, framing is crystal clear blue eyes, the way his nose leaned slightly to the right (your favorite feature of his), and the red that peppered his overwhelmingly brunette beard.
"Why don't we make it interesting?" Jack's face peeked from behind his canvas. "What did you have in mind?", you asked without losing focus.
"Whoever has the best painting gets to decide what we do in the bedroom tonight." You could see the smirk building on Jack's face as his confidence grew in his work.
"Babe, I think our options are pretty limited. You know, sex or sex." You giggled, flicking your wrist as you painted Jack curls.
"No, I mean positions, kinky stuff, whatever the person wants." He raised a suggestive eyebrow at you.
"You're really feeling confident in yourself aren't you?" Jack just shrugged, but he couldn't hide his grin. "Okay, deal."
Once both painting were done, it was time to show off the portraits to each other. "Alright, you go first, baby."
Jack let out a little laugh as he put his paintbrush down. "I can't wait to see if you did my handsomeness justice." You turned the canvas around to reveal a really good portrait of Jack, his features jumping off the canvas. He was quiet as he looked at it, his eyes tracing the canvas.
"What do you think?", you asked after moments of silence, hoping he liked it. "Its-its okay", Jack said straight faced, your stomach flipping at the thought he hated it. Noticing your reaction, he quickly broke character. "I'm just kidding baby, its amazing. I had no idea you had skills like this."
"Thank you baby, now lets see yours." Jack cleared his throat, quickly snatching the canvas away as you tried to grab for it. "So I was thinking reverse cowgirl or something? I know you said you always wanted to try it."
You cocked a brow at him. "So you think you've already lost?"
"Okay, okay, I'll give in. You can give my ass a little lick", he bartered, hoping he was in the clear.
You reached again but Jack put the canvas behind his back. "C'mon, Jack, I don't think it can be that bad."
"And you would be wrong", Jack muttered, turning the canvas around. You breath hitched in your chest as you tried to stifle a laugh. Jack had drawn you in what you could only describe at a Kindergartener's best attempt at a portrait, including the stick figure features.
You tried hard to find something to compliment, but you weren't very convincing. "I-I like how you got my hair color right."
"Okay, I can tell you don't like it. Its fine." You got up quickly, mounting Jack's lap. "I don't love it, but I do love you." You locked lips, taking your time giving Jack a lazy kiss, his hands moving to cup your ass, pulling you impossibly close.
"Did you mean what you said? Anything?" You chuckled, raking your fingers across Jack's jawline. Jack rolled his eyes, standing up with you in his arms, making his way to the bedroom. "Yes, but I was just kidding about the ass thing. That's off limits."
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danikamariewrites · 2 months
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I LOVE your Feysand & Reader fics. Especially the housewife series. Could I please request a fic that takes place shortly after Gone Girl where they've been overprotective for a few months and it's really starting to grate on her nerves. She needs a break from them in Velaris. One of her solo shipping trips. Something where she purchases presents for both of them. Maybe she stops at a cafe for crepes and hot chocolate. And she knows that she's being tailed but takes it as the big step it is.
Over My Shoulder
Feysand x reader
a/n: I'm so sorry requests are taking so long, I think I've hit a bit of a writing slump. I love this idea so much and they would def be very overprotective of reader. Also, I've seen all your kind comments and want to say thank you❤️.
warnings: none
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For the first few weeks after the incident you didn't leave the house. It was your choice at first. Feeling more comfortable under Feyre and Rhys's watchful eyes. You wouldn't even walk Nyx to school unless your mates or other members of the Inner Circle were with you.
Hell, you wouldn't even go to the farmers market. You sent Cassian and Azriel once which was a huge mistake. As you had unpacked the bags with them the warriors were so proud. That was until you had to educate them on the differnce between cabbage and lettuce.
Azriel was giving his brother a look that said I told you so. Cassian had pursed his lips dropping the cabbage on the counter. He the proceeded to hold out a yam, asking if it wasn't a special potato.
When the weather started to turn you started to go stir crazy. Just sitting in the garden and going on short walks wasn't cutting it anymore.
"I think I'm ready to go out. Like in town and stuff." You bring up that night as the three of you lay in bed. Feyre and Rhys freeze next to you. You didn't need the bond to feel the nervous energy radiating from them.
They didn't need to say they were scared of letting you out of their sight. Rhys has always been terrified to be away from you and Feyre. But after somethig like this. Your kidnapping still felt fresh to them.
Rhys pulls you tightly to his chest, rubbing your hair soothingly. You feel Feyre move, wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her head against your back. Before they can say anything you add, "Not alone, not for awhile. But with you guys or the family." Your mates seemed to relax at that.
"Ok," Feyre mumbled. "Why don't we go to the cafe you like after we walk Nyx to school." "I'd like that." You mumble into Rhys's chest.
It took you a few weeks to get comfortable. Then some more time to trust anyone who wasn't Feyre and Rhys. It broke Cassian's heart to see you so jumpy.
Months later you finally gained the confidence to venture out on your own. Feyre and Rhys were hesitant to let you go. You wanted your independence back, it's been driving you nuts having them breathe down your neck. It started feeling like you were a kid they were babysitting.
You wanted to get back to your routine. It is Thrusday, meaning it's family night. And what better way to get into your routine than food shopping and setting up for game night.
You decided to pull out all the stops for tonight. On your to do list is find a new board game and make a dessert you found in a new recipe book the House of Wind so kindly gifted you on your last visit.
Leaving the house you gave them each a kiss goodbye. You couldn't leave fast enough honestly. It felt like they were letting you go a little too easy. Stepping onto the porch you shrugged the feeling off, basking in the mid-morning sun before starting the walk into town.
With an iced coffee in hand you set out on your little shopping adventure. After your stop in the toy store for a new game you ran into Mor. Instead of just saying hello she continued walking with you until the farmers market.
Picking up an apple you swear you see a shadow quickly slink to the ground. Tilting your head your eyes wander across the fruit selections, watching for any other shadows. You continue with shopping for ingredients for tonight.
After the farmers market you take a detour on the way home, stopping at your favorite bookshop. It's been months since you've been here. Relying on the library at the House of Wind. As much as you love the endless selection you miss getting your own books.
Looking down at the cobblestone street you notice soemthing off about your shadow. Like something was tariling you. Stopping you quickly look around the street, paranoid that it could be something more.
Something blue catches the sun at the entrance to an alleyway to your left. It disappears into the unsual darkness for this time of day. As you keep staring the blue gem reappears, followed by three more and then a face only you would be able to see in the darkness. Azriel gives you a nod as a small, calming smile crosses your lips.
You continue walking, the bookstore only a few paces away. You couldn't believe your mates were having you followed. You thought you were at a point where you didn't need to be looked after. You let out a mental groan hoping it was loud enough for Rhys to hear.
The bell above the door to the shop rings and you shake it off. Marcy greets you cheerily, "Y/n! It's been so long, how are you." The female rushes over to you, embracing you in a warm hug. "I'm good honey, how are you?"
The two of you fall into easy conversation as she shows all the new books she got in. You periodically glance out the window to see if Azriel was still watching you. You shake your head, letting out a small chuckle. "What's up?" Marcy gives you curious look.
"Nothing," you wave her off, "just remembering something Rhys and Feyre said earlier." New customers come in Marcy leaves you to wander.
It's hard to focus on the titles in front of you with the thought of Azriel outside, waiting for you to make your next move. It's not so bad, you think. At least Azriel isn't standing right next to you. If this is what it takes for them to have peace of mind then you'll let it slide.
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loveharlow · 23 days
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SEVEN [THE INBETWEEN] - KISS IT BETTER
PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[2.5k] Three weeks of no John B or Sarah and you're officially overwhelmed with grief and mixed signals, leading to an emotional outburst directed at certain blonde.
WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of death, mutual pining, grief avoidance, little fluff, mentions of low self-esteem/negative self-image, mentions of past non-con
NOW PLAYING‧₊˚
A/N‧₊˚ I think this chapter is actually so soft and beautiful🥺 and I never really say this but I do think listening to the song on repeat as you read makes it one hundred times better.
˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗
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THIS DAY MARKED THREE WEEKS SINCE YOU’D LOST JOHN B AND SARAH…And one week since JJ kissed you out of nowhere. Co-existing in your other presumed dead best friend’s house has been…odd, to say the least. You didn’t really know how to talk to JJ now, which was something you never thought would be an issue.
He’d been in the surf shack working on your car more than usual, without your company unfortunately. You’d been taking more small jobs just to get out of the house at this point. But barely talking to your best friend for an entire week while living in the same space was starting to take a toll on you.
And so was the kiss.
Did he mean to do it? Was it a spur of the moment thing? Did JJ have feelings for you? Ten thousand thoughts running around in your mind at once, driving you closer and closer to the edge of crazy. Your heart was telling you that the kiss was no accident — that it seemed too passionate and eager to be something he’d done in the heat of the moment. But your head was telling you that the kiss was an act of grief — something he’d done in a moment where his head wasn’t exactly screwed on straight.
That it was an honest mistake.
You didn’t know which part of you that you believed.
Or which part of you that you wanted to believe.
It was nightfall when you walked up the steps of The Chateau, bag slung lazily over your shoulder as you huffed out a puff of air, exhausted from your nearly ten hour long babysitting gig. Some couple needed someone to watch over their three kids while they went on a date. You should’ve known something was off when the mother was offering fifty dollars an hour, way over minimum wage — her three kids were more like a pint-sized trio of bats from hell. But you walked away with five-hundred more dollars in your pocket, so who were you to complain?
But even with fatigue and hunger weighing heavy on your bones, your heart still dropped at the thought of seeing JJ at the end of the day.
Sighing, you quietly opened the door of the home, throwing your bag on the sofa and letting the door close behind you as Marley immediately came charging, light paws feeling like punches on your thighs but you smiled nonetheless.
“Hi, pretty girl. How are you?” You cooed, scratching behind both of her ears as she wiggled against you.
Another set of footsteps rounded the corner, a freshly awoken JJ coming into your view. You coughed awkwardly under your breath, straightening out as the two of you locked eyes. “Oh, hey. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Nah, it’s fine. I’m just glad you made it in before it got too late, one of the corner stores got robbed a couple hours ago.” He said, voice raspy and low from sleep as he rubbed the exhaustion out of his eyes.
The two of you stood there awkwardly— JJ scratching the back of his head as you averted your eyes anywhere else, Marley’s panting filling the silence.
You took a deep breath, shoving your hands in the back of your pockets as JJ mindlessly nibbled on his lower lip. You took the opportunity to break the silence, the blonde seemingly having the same idea.
“Well, I’m gonna get ready for bed-”
“Look, I’m sorry-”
You both stopped talking, attempting to allow the other to speak. Small smiles broke out on your faces, the two of you looking down at your feet simultaneously. “This is awkward, if I’ve ever seen it…” JJ huffed out humorously. “Can we just…like, sit down and talk, for a minute?” He asked, his own words making him cringe slightly as he motioned towards the battered sofa.
You nodded, not saying a word as you plopped down on the piece of furniture, eyes on the floor as your hands held each other in your lap. JJ sat down oddly slow next to you. You expected him to try and create as much distance between the two of you as possible but surprisingly, he sat so close that your shoulders were brushing in the tiniest of ways.
The unexpectedness of it all had your brows furrowing, finding some kind of courage to look the boy in his eyes as he finally settled on the right words to say.
“...I shouldn’t have kissed you.” For some reason, the string of words made your heart tremble and your lips parted in surprise. They hurt more than you ever expected them to. Noticing your solemn expression, JJ was quick to clean up his statement, turning in his seat to look at you completely. “Not in the sense that I didn’t want to, no, God no.” He sputtered, hands moving around wildly. “It’s just that, with everything going on, I don't think that moment was the best moment to act on my feelings-”
He was cut off when you lurched forward, colliding your lips with his in the heat of the moment. In your haste and his surprise, the blonde accidentally bit your lip but you didn’t mind, never breaking the exchange. After a moment, you both seemed to settle into it — one of his hands sliding around your hip and waist to find a home on the end of your back, pulling you closer in the smallest motion. Your own hands cradled his jaw on each side, pulling him deeper into you.
You kissed that boy until you couldn’t anymore. Until your lips were swollen and wet, your head spinning as you pulled back and let your hands fall, sliding down the length of his neck and shoulders while his own hand slid back to rest on your thigh.
“...What was that for?” He asked in a whisper. He sounded breathless.
You simply gulped, tucking a small strand of hair behind your ear before speaking. “...When you kissed me, I felt something. Something I didn’t think I should feel while kissing my best friend. Because I never thought I’d be kissing my best friend at all.” You explained, elevating your gaze to meet his eyes. “And I thought to myself that I should feel repulsed. That the kiss should feel wrong. Right? But nothing about that kiss felt wrong.” You told him. “I haven’t been avoiding you because of the kiss, JJ. I’ve been avoiding you because I haven’t been able to get the thought of kissing you again out of my head since it happened.”
“And now that you have?” He asked, eyes searching yours. “Now, that you have kissed me again?”
“...I’m struggling not to do it a third time.” You breathed out, eyes fleeting towards his lips for the slightest of moments. “I don’t know what this is. In my head, you’re my absolute best friend and I love you in that aspect but everytime I see you now, I can’t help but think about you in ways that I shouldn’t. So, if that kiss or this one didn’t mean anything to you, you’d better tell me now because-”
“Oh, it meant something.” He cut you off enthusiastically, a small smirk playing on his lips. “I know you probably have no idea but that kiss meant everything to me.” He told you, edging closer on the sofa. “I’ve had this huge crush on you for, like, ever. Probably since I even knew what a crush was. But you know how I am…” He lowered his voice, avoiding your eyes. “I didn’t trust myself with you. Anytime I look at you, I see this ball of light around you and I never want it to go away. Or be the reason for it going away. With me and all my shit…”
“I don’t think of you like that.” You said honestly, a small frown on your face. “You aren’t some southside screw up or a charity case. JJ, you know that I don’t care about all that. I’m always there to walk through it with you, your life doesn’t define you, you know that. Or at least, you should.” You told the blonde, running a soft hand through his hair. “And I know that it may take some time for you to believe that for yourself but I’ll be the one to tell you it everyday until you actually hear it, as a friend or…whatever else.”
You reminded the boy, biting your lower lip in thought. “...That’s why you never said anything? Because you thought you weren’t good for me?”
He seemed to ponder on the statement before nodding, somewhat shamefully. “I mean, c'mon, look at you.” He scoffed, wide blue eyes looking at your face with so much adoration and purity that you never cared to notice before. “Someone like you doesn’t need to waste her life away trying to love someone like me.”
“I do love you-”
“Not in the way that I love you.” He blurted, pinching his eyes shut as he cut you off.
“...I could. But you’ll never know if you don’t let me try.” You told him. “I won’t sit here and tell you that I love you in that way because I really don’t know. But whatever I’m starting to feel for you is beyond a friendship and once I figure that out, who knows? But I also don’t want you to wait on me to figure things out if that’s not what you want.” You concluded, retreating your hands back to the comfort of your lap.
You don’t know how helpless you looked, but you made no attempt to hide the frown that you could feel on your face. You knew JJ was known as promiscuous but his ways seemed to have settled with everything that’s happened. Although the thought of him with anyone made your gut turn, you didn’t want to confine him within the cage of your emotional contemplation. You didn’t want to lead him on now knowing how he felt about you.
“Hey,” He started, a hand on your arm. “I will wait. And that’s my choice. If you decide that you want me, that you want this, then I will be here. I know my past actions are probably making my words seem like a load of shit right now, but weeks ago? When I was hooking up with half the island? I was under the impression that you and I would never happen. But now there’s a chance.” He spoke, laughing at the end of his sentence, the oddness of the action making your face twist. “Sorry, I just, I thought about somethin'.” He said, waving himself off. “I was talking to Bree one day, about you. I told him that the odds of you ever liking me back were one in a million. And he told me that a one in a million chance is still a chance, to which I told him that he was full of shit. But now…” He trailed off, shrugging.
“...John B knew?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. JJ rolled his eyes playfully.
“I think everyone knew, except you, of course.” He cocked an eyebrow, you being the one to roll your eyes this time. 
“...So what do we do now?” You asked, voice small.
JJ sighed, suddenly sitting up straighter in his seat and taking both of your hands in his own. “...As much as I want to make you my girlfriend, right here and right now, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I think that we both need time to grieve and sort ourselves and I also think that you need time to explore your feelings more and make sure that this isn’t a fluke.” That was the most mature sentence you'd ever heard leave JJ's lips.
“A fluke?” You asked, mildly offended. “What does that mean?”
“Just that, I’ve seen how you can deal with grief. And not to twist the knife…are you okay with me talking about the…Rafe thing?” You clenched your jaw at the mere mention of his name, nodding stiffly in JJ’s direction, the boy drawing his lips into a thin line before continuing. “When that happened, you were still grieving. You kissed him because you were in a bad place and he was there and he ended up...taking advantage of that vulnerable part of you, right?” You hummed in agreement. “I am not at all blaming you for what happened when I say this. You didn’t deserve it and that asshole should be six feet under for what he did and, God so help me, I will put him there myself-”
“JJ.” You interrupted the boy’s rant, wanting him to finish his point completely. Huffing out a puff of air, he continued.
“I’m sorry. I just, I really hate that that happened to you. And I know it happened to you, not me but I want to kill him. Every day that I wake up, I just hope he's dead somewhere.”
“I know. Trust me, I know.” You reassured.
“But all I’m trying to say is that, I don’t want to repeat that same cycle — taking advantage of your emotional state. I want you to be yourself again and be in the right space before trying to take this any further. And I want you to have no doubts and be completely sure.” You understood his point of view and his reasoning behind it. Nodding, you allowed him to finish his sentence. “So, for now? We can just figure things out, set some kinda boundaries, if you want.”
You thought about it for a moment, fingers drawing shapes on one of his hands. “...Just honesty. If you kiss someone, hook up with someone…” The words made your eyes twitch. “Just don’t let me find out from someone else.”
“Oh, I can promise you that I have no one else on my mind, especially now that I know I’m on yours, so there will be nothing to tell ‘n nothin’ to find out, m’lady.” He smiled, saluting towards you. “I’m all yours, even if you aren’t mine. Yet.” He winked.
It’d been weeks since you’d seen the goofy side of JJ. It was comforting. 
You giggled, bowing your head slightly. “I promise that I am solely focused on clarifying my feelings towards you and only you, blondie.” You returned the sentiment and the salute. “What about our friendship, though? Is it still a friendship?”
“Mmm….” He thought aloud, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Actually, you’re the smart one. What’s like a fancy, silly term for developing a relationship? Like getting to know each other but not dating, like the in between stage?”
“...We can say we’re in a courtship?” You suggest half-jokingly, shrugging. “But… does this also mean we have to stop kissing each other? 'Cause I kind of like that part.”
JJ faked offense, throwing a palm against his chest and gasping. “Kissing?” He asked, wide eyed and shocked. “We are pogues. And number one rule of pogues, is no pogue-on-pogue macking…Eugh.” He reprimanded playfully, fake gagging. You slapped his shoulder in response, a smile on your face as one grew on his.
“No pogue-on-pogue macking, huh?” You said, playfully swatting his arms as he did yours. “
“That’s exactly right, little miss lips-a-lot - Ow! Did you just pinch my nipple?” He laugh-shouted, holding his chest as your swatting ceased. “What are you? Six?-”
You took the opportunity with JJ's guard down to grab the nape of his neck and pull his face into yours, giving him one last hard, passionate kiss of the night, slightly biting his lip as you drew your face away from his.
“How’s that for no pogue-on-pogue macking?”
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