#the highest chance of their being actually smth for them to find | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cyanidekisses · 1 year

Text

ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE OC QUESTIONS MEMES

21) Do they have any personal insecurites

pup: I think he would be insecure about being super skinny.

blizzy would be insecure about their voice I think they would have a deep masc voice and they would want it to be more neu and ofc their spot (which I fuckinv love btw)

firefly: their eyes

31) Are they a messy eater or a neat eater

pup: neat def

blizzy: most neat mf

firefly: crummy bitch-

22) What is their highest physical stat (strength, stamina, defense, speed, etc) and their highest non-physical stat (intelligence, perception, charisma, luck, etc)?

pup: stamina and then intelligence

blizzy: speed and charm def

firefly: speed and defense then maybe perception?

23) How would they react to finding out someone lied to them, even if it was for their safety/ well being?

pup: if it was for their safety they wouldn't be too mad but otherwise they would be PISSED

blizzy: would be upset either way I feel. like "I understand it was for the better but please tell me next time? I can handle myself"

firefly: idk actually. I think that they would be slightly upset both ways

35) Are they good at small talk?

pup: if needed

blizzy: yes.

firefly: I feel like they would be yeah

24) Do they prefer cold weather or warm weather?

pup: warm

blizzy: COLD FRIGID

firefly: warm

25) How easy is it for them to say

"I love you"?

pup: I feel like it would take alot for them to say it. when they say it they would really mean it and that person would mean sm to them

blizzy: about the same but I feel like they would throw it around when comforting someone

firefly: they are like me throwing that shit around (no shame)

26) How easy is it for them to tell someone about their worries?

pup: takes alot

blizzy: probably wont happen

firefly: would try to hold it in and end up exploding about it

27) Have they ever witnessed someone die?

pup: yes

blizzy: yes

firefly: yes

all were different people and probably were multiple

28) Are they ticklish?

pup: YES but the kind that's threatening to beat your ass if you tickle them

blizzy: in unexpected spots

firefly: yes absolutely

29) How high/low is their pain tolerance?

pup: high bro is probably a masochist

blizzy: same as above just maybe a little less

firefly: surprisingly high but still pretty low

30) Is there something they secretly wish they could do but are too afraid to?

pup: yeah and its smth like parachuting or budgie jumping

blizzy: I feel like it would be a yes but not like pups

firefly: def-

34) Which of the senses would they hate to lose the most: vision, hearing, smell, taste, or touch?

pup: hearing. they didnt lose it but they had something affect it temporarily and it sent them into a sobbing panic

blizzy: hearing too I would think

firefly: touch. bro would die without a good hug

37) If they had the chance, would they prefer to travel to the past or to the future?

pup: past

blizzy: past

firefly: past

39) Would they rather live life always surrounded by people, or always alone?

pup: a comfortable middle ground

blizzy: alone

firefly: both tbh

0 notes

arodrwho · 2 years

Text

ughhhh

#my shoulder has been low level bitchy for the better part of a week and like #the plan is to wait until my arm is completely fucked and then go to urgent care about it #bc i want to be seen when the problem is at its most ?? disabling i guess?#bc i dont want it to seem like not a big deal and also if they run tests i want like #the highest chance of their being actually smth for them to find #but also im a little concerned this is just going to go away completely without getting to the point where i have like. issues moving #and then ill have another fuckin. 7 months of no shoulder problems at all #and only minor monthly hand problems instead #and if that happens im going to tear out my hair i think #bc i do not want to wait that long! and bc it makes it seem like the problem isnt rly a problem since it can be that rare!#but also like. it always comes back in the end #like. literally always #sometimes it's 3 weeks between episodes sometimes it's 7 months but it ALWAYS happens again #and i dont know how to make a dr believe that when i cant even seem to show a dr the actual most difficult problem #hhhhhhgh #i am. tired. of this #maybe i should just make a regular dr appt about it tomorrow if the low level bullshit is still there #or just. go the next time my hand is fucked if this dissolves #bc the hand issue has replaced the shoulder issue as my monthly problem for the last few months now

3 notes · View notes

janiedean · 3 years

Note

italy abortion link for short reblog w/o discourse?

ask and you shall receive

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_Italy

^^ straight facts rundown about how the situation is

https://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2019/05/europe/italy-abortion-intl/

that is yesterday's link, this is a rundown of a study explaining why abortion is usually last resort for people

https://www.epicentro.iss.it/ben/2001/aprile/1_en

and for the tldr version (the first article covers it well but still): in Italy abortion is technically granted by the public healthcare service until the third month and so on, but to make the church happy back when they made that law they gave doctors the chance to opt out for 'conscenscious objection' as in 'I'm catholic and I don't want to perform abortions', which as this is the country that it is, means that you basically don't get a career if you perform them, so the vast majority of doctors objects and doesn't perform abortions in the public hospital and then proceeds to perform abortions in their private clinic at a price :) and since the church is what it is, the situation at the moment is *drumroll*:

if you look at molise where there's a staggering 96,4%, since it's a small area, it means that there is literally one guy who does abortions for the public hospital who is postponing his retirement because if he retires no one else performs them anymore :) fun :) and that's one place only but if you look at the percentages.... good luck :)))

in case anyone wants to consider funding people trying to do smth about it: sadly the associazione luca coscioni which is the only one I can find rn that I know for sure is legit and has an ongoing campaign to preserve that law and fight the whole conscious objection thing only has an italian website (https://www.associazionelucacoscioni.it/aborto-al-sicuro this is the campaign link) which I can't translate rn because it's too long but in case their donation link is here https://www.associazionelucacoscioni.it/cosa-puoi-fare-tu/dona and

1) choose donazione singola (single donation) if you wanna do it just once the other option is to give monthly

2) the next bracket has how much money you want to give, if you want to give them less than 30 euros or more than their highest pre-inserted total click on altro (other) and then in the window underneath dove destinare il tuo aiuto (where your help goes) click aborto e contraccezione (abortion and contraception)

3) it's insert data, you can access via social which looks like the only way to do it if you're not italian

4) then you choose either credit card or paypal and click on complete your donation/completa la tua donazione

now I'd like to state that while we're nowhere near on the same level of danger as poland when it come to abortion being a thing at all and our law is nowhere as nonsensical as the texas one the church has continuously tried to kill law 194 (the abortion law in question) and to fuck over with reproductive rights (most times successfully) and the objection thing is basically a loophole to make it so that while you do have that right actually exercising it is made hard if not impossible depending on where you live (if I live in a large city I will most likely find a doctor who's not an objector, if I live in molise or small town or small area..... maybe not, and what if I can't afford the trip to the nearest place that'll take me?) to the point that a while ago people living near the border went to france to have one even if they could have had it here, so abortions being legal and allowed doesn't mean that everyone can access abortions freely or that the law can't be changed and we're facing a right wing majority of exceedingly shitty people in two years so we're definitely not doing great either :/

#abortion #italy #welcome to italy #if i see a single prolifer in the notes of this post i'm ending them #the last time someone wanted to philosophically argue about how abortion was immoral was enough for my liver #blueagia #ask post #my stuff

60 notes · View notes

emma-d-klutz · 3 years

Text

IF I were to write a Maribat fic

It would be mostly a played for comedy and drama take on “Marinette picked up this whole Bat thing way too quickly.”

Like, post Miracle Queen, Marinette is just overtaken with so much guilt about Master Fu and is also desperate for a new mentor to be a replacement and a distraction from the blame she puts on herself and the burden of being the new Guardian. She is absolutely sure she is not ready to be in charge.

She calls Damian and asks for an audience with Batman. Damian is like, “Oh, isn’t this the girl who kicked me out of Paris? What was it you said? ‘No Gothamites in my city.’ Isn’t that what you said? Didn’t you say you can’t have our “type” of vigilante in Paris, because we’re too, what was it, overemotional? Is this that girl who is on my com right now? The one who rejected joining the Teen Titans? That’s you? You want me to TALK to my FATHER? I would barely ask him a favor for someone I actually LIKE.” Except then she kind of blows up at him and tells him the situation, and Damian gets real quiet and listens, and he feels a little sick because he’s remembering the Ric Grayson situation and also Alfred’s most recent death, which he ALSO blames himself for, so like... they got shit in common. He says he’ll talk to Batman about a video call.

Cut to three months later, Marinette has just THROWN HERSELF into being Batman’s disciple. She calls him Master. She practices fighting day and night out of the suit, and IN the suit she uses her powers for training and is often seen sprinting for miles or scaling the Eiffel Tower with only her upper body strength. She comes to school covered in bruises and with the darkest circles under her eyes, and her friends are WORRIED, they really are, but she’s like 80% less bubbly then usual, so no one is really confronting her and are just silently wondering what the heck happened. Most people assume that this has something to do with her taking Adrien and Kagami being an official couple really hard.

For fashion design, well. Marinette has gotten really into armor lately.... huh. (It’s because the Batfam encourages her to not rely on a magic suit that can turn off at the worse time, and she is convinced she must be prepared to be Ladybug at any and all times. If anything, she’s lamenting that she doesn’t know how to make weapons.) (She got a grappling hook styled like a yo yo as a present from Master Bat.)

She texts Kagami out of the blue one day like, >>Hey. Come over. I am in the process of making my masterwork >>Oh and bring a sword >>A sharpened one, not a training sword And Kagami comes over to see a twitchy (”ok that’s pretty normal”) super serious (”well that’s not. she’s usually so flighty and indecisive”) Marinette. And in the place where there was once an Adrian shrine and stalking schedule is now what seems to be a Hawkmoth shrine and stalking schedule. Marinette brings out what looks sort of like shiny silk with jewels woven in, and Kagami’s assumption is corrected. No. It’s a polymerized titanium she synthesized herself with light elemental defense crystals woven in by hand. Marinette is very proud. It’s a prototype. She plans on making a material that can be beautiful formalwear and as stab-proof as any kevlar. But it’s still a prototype so Kagami can you pretty please do some slashing and stabbing on it pretty please? See she wants it to be really good before giving it to her other Sword Friend, because Dami is a really harsh judge, and her motivation just won’t be able to take it if she gets notes from him this early on in the process. Kagami is actually really on board and helpful in this venture.

She does like indirectly ask Marinette if she’s heartbroken of if she’s with Luka or what have you, and Marinette just gets really harsh and says she has other priorities. She also makes some grandiose proclamation that neither of them are good enough for Adrien, because Adrien is pure goodness, he’s kindness and forgiveness personified, and it’s just... it’s just... it would be really clear to anyone who has ever heard Batman wax poetic about Superman where she is getting this highkey cringe behavior.

She’s on video calls with Batman all the time. They definitely have a conversation that goes something like this:

“I am certain the mean girl from my school is working for my main supervillain.” “Good. You can find him through her.” “Yess! I have been looking forward to the chance. I am going to interrogate her.” “Ladybug, no.” “I am going to tie her up with my yoyo and dangle her over the highest skyscraper in Paris and tell her I’ll drop her if she doesn’t tell me the identity and location of Hawkmoth.” “Befriend her at school and track her movements.” “Ok but wouldn’t it be quicker to dangle her off a building?” “You’re letting your emotions about someone from your civilian life interfere with your judgement and letting yourself act hastily and with negligence, which is exactly how you lost your first mentor.” “Ah....... you’re right. I’m sorry, Master. I won’t be reckless.” “Good. Tap her cell phone.”

As for Chat Noir, he is FREAKED OUT by her change and all the secrets she’s keeping now. And her behavior towards him has REALLY changed. Well not too much, but it’s noticeable in a way that unnerves him sometimes. Like she’s become a super serious workaholic, but she’s also insanely protective of him, to the point where he feels a bit resentful that he’s not being treated as a competent partner. He’s really trying to get Ladybug to talk out what she’s going through, and he’s anxious all the time that she’s on the cusp of becoming akumatized. Honestly, he’s not wrong on that part. He knows that this is all because she blames herself for Master Fu, and he is also aware that she is spending much more time in contact with that Robin from Gotham who they met once or twice, and he knows she’s keeping some secrets, but NO he is not aware for at least half of the story that she is being remotely trained by Batman. She’s telling him to shut up a lot more and bossing him around more and seems to know way more about Hawkmoth’s movements than him and it feels like he’s out of the loop, but she’s also, like, often spewing out how important he is to her as her partner and keeps giving him handmade pastries and saying, “An army crawls on its stomache,” so like honestly wtf mixed signals much

Batman agreed to mentor her temporarily and has been trying to find someone else from JL to take over, preferably Wonder Woman or Flash, because he agrees with Ladybug’s assessment that to be a hero in Paris it is necessary to have weaponized optimism, or Zatanna or Shazaam, because they could train Ladybug in her magic hopefully. He is told several times that it would be easier to get her mentorship if she agreed to join Teen Titans or Young Justice, which of course they all know, so thanks, but Ladybug would def refuse to leave Paris and her partner, so her joining YJ isn’t really up for discussion.

Flash said that she’s great but that, “She’s SUCH a Bat,” and that clearly she’s so attached to him that she should just stay one of his. Batman asserts that she is only being like this because she is desperate for a mentor, and if someone else took her on, she’d probably/hopefully change again just as fast. Flash says he isn’t so sure, and that at this delicate point in time, being handed off to someone else might, like, retraumatize her or smth.

Ladybug literally started breaking fingers interrogating someone.

It is on camera.

The LadyBlog is in SHOCK.

No one knows what to do.

Even Hawkmoth sees the video footage and is like, “Jeez, am I... Mayura, are we in over our heads here? Did we break the teen hero? Is this our fault?”

Anyway, those are all my favorite ideas of the ones I’ve daydreamed so far. There is also stuff about how she interacts with the other members of the Batfam and that she uses the Horse Miraculous to travel to Gotham to be trained in hand-to-hand and also to just sob for hours and scream at things because she CAN’T let her emotions out like that in Paris and the bafflement of the Batkids like “you... came to GOTHAM... to NOT repress your emotions. um, k.” And Cass loves her and thinks she is Baby Sister and if someone is mean to baby sister in front of her she will stare into your soul until you are quiet ect ect many ideas.

The reason this is an IF and not a WHEN:

dudes I have no plot

176 notes · View notes

hyperfixationtimego · 3 years

Note

Taka gets sad and Mondo just. Hug. With permission. And shows him his dog plushie bc they are That Close and Comfortable w each other

Mm yes cuddles yes I am projecting

And they take naps and it’s nice so they both finally get good sleep (there are neurological benefits to that!! I won’t go into detail though bc I can’t remember the specifics)

And they both like really soft blankets bc good texture and warm and comfy

And weighted blankets bc Soothing™️

If one of them ever goes into a sensory overload they just talk very slowly to the other, especially if the other went nonverbal

And they came up with a little communication system for cases like this

So they can just. Do something and then they know what to do to help

ADHD Mondo & comorbid ADHD/Autistic Taka solidarity

And they read books together:)

They both really like Frankenstein

Taka likes it bc mmm classical literature and the discussion of ethics and theoretical science. He also really enjoys the wording and how the scenes can carry on for whole chapters and not get boring to him. The exact descriptions and the definitions in the footnotes are one of the best parts to him because he’s given all the information needed to answer his questions that are supposed to be answered:)

Mondo likes it bc of the sort of mystery bits and it gives him something to think about that he can process bc he and Taka discuss it regularly:) and he really likes the concept of Frankenstein’s monster and how there was a second chance at life, even if it was poorly handled by the other characters

hsbwvwvshdhshsvsv cuddlesssssss 🥺🥺🥺🥺

godddd the trust it takes for Mondo to even CONSIDER showing u his dog plushie,,,,,, Taka’s just like. this is literally the highest honor im-

Taka also likes plushies to begin with so it just makes him go :D

and hdbdvdvdvdvdv they do oh my godddd like,,,,,they just,,,,,fit together,,,,,,so nicely??? very good position and tactile sensation for sleep,,,,,,warm n nice,,,,,,,,ghdhdvdvdvd good

also hdbsbdbd sorry I know u were being serious and that’s so cool, but I feel like they also use that as an excuse CONSTANTLY like if they happen to be cuddling or drowsy in a place where people are liable to walk in on them or smth, they’re both just like “iT’S FOR NEUROLOGICAL BENEFITS-” even tho they’re already dating and literally nobody would care ldbsnsbsjsbdbdbdb

and yes yes yes!!!!! the blanketssssss ohdhdhdhs I think taka in particular probably really likes having a weighted blanket over him because it’s so grounding and present and ??? just there’s something covering almost every inch of his body and he loves it

and they both feel the texture of the other blankets and go >:0 because!!!!!! hsvwhsbsbsbs soft!!!!!!!

oh yes absolutely!!! I’d say that Mondo maybe teaches Ishi a few phrases in jsl (either phrases or words - whichever is simpler/easier to remember in the moment. Things that basically mean “I need to talk”, “I can’t talk right now,” “please hold me” “don’t touch me” “can you talk to me?” “please sit here in silence with me,” etc.) taka’s a bit shaky with it at first, but gets the hang of it!!

They DO read books together!!!!

god ur reasons for why they both like it are such??? galaxy brain takes???? ilysm oh my god

also,,,,,,concept of them snuggling,,,,,,,reading together,,,,,im soft 🥺

hsbshsbsbs also like. impromptu book club things happen sometimes with other classmates/students bc like 👀

they can’t discuss literature in front of Byakuya because he’ll call them idiots and imply that they don’t understand the “true meaning/s” of whatever it was they read

Taka and Korekiyo probably discuss the former’s latest reads quite a bit - they exchange interpretations of the text from their own points of views, which is always fascinating for both! Taka receives quite a few lectures on anthropological and cultural findings that are relevant to the time period of the novel, or historical events that the plot references and how that affects things, etc. etc. and Korekiyo gets to engage in positive social interaction with a friend to study human behavior a bit more by learning about taka’s thought processes firsthand

whenever Toko hears ishi and mondo discussing what they’ve read, she just. sort of hovers menacingly around them until Taka notices her and invites her over. She acts like she doesn’t give a shit but actually, being able to discuss literary topics is QUITE a nice change of pace. Not to mention that both taka and mondo are pretty nice people to be around and there’s little to no risk of being made fun of <3

Leon’s not much of a reader (freaking loves comics and graphic novels, tho!) but he’s more than happy to listen to The Boys™️ while they excitedly talk and debate and bounce concepts and topics off of each other. Their enthusiasm is almost enough to make him wanna read, too!

Almost.

Kyoko’s sat in on conversations once or twice - mostly for detective/mystery stories hsbsbddb

anyways yeah soft ishimondo things???? I love them smmmm

also Taka getting to rant and rave and infodump about his philosophy interests and stuff and mondo just sitting there listening to him like 💖💗💘💝

58 notes · View notes

sakusascandle · 3 years

Text

━ ʜᴀɪᴋʏᴜᴜ sᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs ᴀs ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜᴇʀs

a/n: just a few headcanons I have of a few of the setters as teachers! feel free to drop smth in the inbox ^^

characters included: akaashi,atsumu,kenma,sugawara,oikawa

━ ᴀᴛsᴜᴍᴜ

- This guy would be one of those teachers that’d be constantly late no matter the day. He’d always be at least 5 or 10 minutes late which definitely concerned some students, but they were happy about the fact that a bit of class time was gone.

- He’d always forget to bring a piece of chalk/marker for the board. It always results in him asking a student for one or borrowing one off of another teacher, and the chances of him returning them are slim to none.

- Most classrooms always have a few bad apples. Some always disrupt the the lesson or just downright piss off the teacher. Atsumu has a bit of a low temper on some days and wouldn’t hesitate to insult whoever annoyed him and would say so in a rough tone.

- He’s always dressed casually, always wearing some sort of hoodie or a v-neck shirts with jeans. He doesn’t put much effort into dressing formally for his job.

- He’s surprisingly good at his job though, he always tries to put in as much effort as possible to make sure that everybody understands the material.

- Whenever a student asks about his life or other questions of the sort, he’d always mention his brother in some way and then ends it off with him talking about how he’s the superior one out of the two.

━ ᴋᴇɴᴍᴀ

- He always comes into class looking absolutely exhausted. Dark circles always looking prominent as per usual.

- He wouldn’t put much effort into topics he wasn’t interested in teaching, so for those times he’d usually just get a documentry up and let it play for the whole hour or so. He’d be seen doing work on the computer or playing a video game on his phone or a small console.

- If there’s a topic he’s passionate about and genuinely interested in, he would explain with incredible detail and even drop in his insights and analysis, which his students find very informative and it actually keeps the class engrossed in his words.

- He’d usually not give much homework as he has no interest in correcting work. He generally doesn’t give many tests either, if he had to give one, he’d give a pretty easy one which isn’t worth stressing about.

- Kenma is an analytical guy, so if he notices that a student is having trouble with a topic in his class then he makes sure to help out and

- Playing Kahoot is a pretty regular activity done in his class. It’s almost a must. He’d always secretly join in and would name himself the same thing every game and would completely demolish his class. Everyone wonders who ‘applepi’ is every time they see them rest their high throne on the number one spot. Kenma does reveal his identity at the end of the year though, and every student is at complete shock.

- He’d sometimes overhear his students talk about their highest scores in video games and he never fails to stop his small smirk from forming.

- There’s always a quiet atmosphere and vibe in his classroom, that he and certain students appreciate.

━ ᴀᴋᴀᴀsʜɪ

- This man ALWAYS has his shit together. Probably one of the most organised ones. He’d always greet his students with the warmest smile everyday :(((

- They way he explains his material is always so clear and precise, everybody has a great grasp on the information that he provides and generally, the class does quite well.

- Like Kenma, he’s an analytical and observant guy. If he notices that a student is struggling with his class he will always offer assistance and will discuss why they’re having a difficult time and what they can do to chance things.

- He’d regularly check up on his students and makes sure they’re doing well mentally and physically, if there were any problems he’d always lent in an ear and try to make his students feel as safe and comforted as possible.

- The workload he gives isn’t much, he gives a healthy amount. He’d rarely give out big projects to do and always acknowledges the effort going into assignments.

- He always has extra stationary available so whenever students and a few certain teachers forgets something he’d always have spares. But he still encourages them to bring in their own materials but understands if they forget certain things.

- If he notices that a student may not be doing too well mentally he’d always make sure to make time after class to talk to them.

- He’d drop in a few witty remarks here and there which always win a few giggles from the class. There are times where he questions his teaching abilities and wonders if he’s doing a good job, but whenever he looks at his students he soon discards that thought.

━ sᴜɢᴀᴡᴀʀᴀ

- He somehow always knows all the school gossip and drama that lingers around the halls.

- He’s exceptionally good at calming down a classroom when they start going out of hand. He then returns to teaching as if nothing happened.

- His handwriting is absolutely beautiful. It’s easy to read and his pupils gain pleasure from the satisfaction of the way the chalk piece/ marker flows on the board.

- Whenever students need something to be repeated, no matter how many times they ask he never shows any hints of annoyance and greatly values his students telling him whenever they’re struggling with his class.

- He loves hearing people discuss their week and days, simply seeing his class being in a good mood brings so much joy to him.

- He’s greatly known to be someone with a supportive and sweet nature, so it’s never a surprise to see him being supportive and encouraging to their dreams and goals in life.

- There are some days where his inner chaotic self bursts out and becomes super energetic and jokes around with the class.

- Whenever winter break or something of the sort comes along he always hosts a mini party for the duration of his class.

━ ᴏɪᴋᴀᴡᴀ

- Whoever has him as a teacher is pretty damn lucky. He’s definitely a popular one among the teachers. His classes are pretty well known to be ‘the class with the hot teacher.’

- He always comes in looking pretty damn good and puts a little bit of effort to dress well.

- He definitely has students that are completely obsessed with him and his looks, some would lie about needing help with their work just so they can feel his presence whenever he comes over to their desk to help them out. The looks on their faces whenever he uses a finger to pull up his glasses.

- He always works hard to make sure that his students do well in school and puts a ton of effort into making everything sure his handwriting is readable and always answers questions to the best of his abilities.

- He’d definitely feel a little upset whenever he sees someone struggle as he wants to know what he’s doing wrong, but tries his best to make the material clear to whoever’s looking at him and are completely bewildered.

- If a student is pissing him off he’d very rarely yell, instead he’d just glare at them until he thinks it’s time to get back to whatever he was talking about.

- When correcting tests, I can see him use colourful pens and occasionally adds a few stickers to students that get a high grade.

- He enjoys playfully joking around with students when the time calls for it but definitely knows when to get serious when he needs to be.

41 notes · View notes

curiosityjams · 3 years

Text

re: iz*one

first of all, i wanted to say i didn’t plan on writing something about the disbandment. the past few months have been incredibly rough on my mental state to the point where i feel as if i’ve lost all sense of self. shit has been so rough for me, their disbandment being confirmed made that even worse for me. however, i realized i need to learn how to be okay with like...being open about my own emotions in a time of uncertainty and writing them out helps me in a way even if a lot of those emotions i’d rather keep private. i’ve also been going thru a time where i’m currently reevaluating this past year and everything i’ve done/felt in the past few yrs (2.5 of those years being izone’s run), so i thought i’d write something about the disbandment and what iz*one means to me, esp during this point in my life. i’d write more about what led me to this point, but if i did, i’d end up writing a whole novel, so i’m just going to keep this as short as possible.

also if this is a jumbled mess, i’m sorry!!!!

since we’re here to talk about the inevitable, i just wanted to say that i’ve probably had a harder time accepting them being gone than i thought. i knew they were gonna disband eventually bc lol produce group, but also, knowing what happened with the voting scandal and the panasonic, it makes it even worse for me. i hate that they didn’t even bother to handle their disbandment in a way that wasn’t complete horseshit. i hate how the pandora screwed everything up. i hate how we didn’t even get a proper goodbye from the girls. i knew that this was going to happen, but i fucking hate how it all turned out. i can’t say i’m 100% happy with the ending and honestly, don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully accept that they’re no longer a group.

that said, i’m not here to vent.

while i’m obviously upset that they’re gone, the fact that they were ever a group to begin with--i’ll forever be grateful. i avoided getting into them for the longest time because of my own trauma from being involved in the 48 fandom (smth i’ll talk about at a later time bc it’s a lot), but the moment i decided to watch their “up” performance and actually give them a chance beyond looping la vie en rose, that’s when i fell in love. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the visuals. i fell in love with the bond between the girls. most of all, i fell in love with the fact that during a weird transitional period in my 20s, i found a group that gave me the closure i needed in a time where it felt like the world was against me while also giving me the strength i need to move on.

while we’re on that topic, let’s talk about kwon eunbi.

as you already know from my url, eunbi is obviously my bias. she’s the leader of the group, under the company my ult group, lovelyz, is also in, and THE absolute all-rounder. she’s extremely talented, super fucking funny, a babe of THE highest order, and the best single mom you could ever ask for. every time i watch a video of iz*one’s or look at any of their pics, i’m always in absolute awe of her. while i love all of the girls (j-line has a very special place in my heart bc of my time in 48 fandom) and do consider the entire group to be one full of bias wreckers, it’s eunbi that instantly caught my eye and the one i’m incredibly proud to call my ult.

“now, drea, why is it that you’re taking so much time with talking about how special this group and that girl are to you?” well, it’s mainly because that eunbi and i are the same age (both 95-liners, but i’m older by 2 months) that i’m so drawn to not only her, but the group as well. yeah, it’s normal to be drawn to members born in your birth year, but for me and esp in this case, it’s far more complex than it seems.

around the time i got into the group, i was (still am) going thru a quarter life crisis. i had just finished my a.a., was a few months away from turning 24, and had pretty much decided i was going to take an indefinite hiatus from twitter due to the amount of harm its done to my mental health over 10 years. i felt like shit knowing that so many people my age were living their lives, getting married, having kids, etc all that shit while i felt as if i was frozen in time and like i could never accomplish any of those things because according to society, my time was up. as a woman on the autism spectrum, i never felt like anything i did was enough and knowing that even after years of trauma, the feeling that if i don’t have my entire life sorted out by 24/25 scared the living shit out of me. knowing that a panini happened made those feelings even worse.

i know it’s weird to like...feel so many emotions over this esp since 23-25 is young and starting your career out at that age is normal. that said, knowing how eunbi was already in a group prior to joining iz*one that ended up disbanding months after they debuted, the road she took to get to where she is now, and the fact that she’s 25/26 and will get so many chances to start over is what gives me hope after such a shit year. i can finally get to where i want to be, i’ll graduate from university, i’ll hopefully get a job that will earn me enough money to move out of my mom’s house, i’ll find love, etc who the fuck knows what’s going to happen? i hate that after years of hating myself and being afraid of getting older because people often have this mentality that you should abandon all sense of yourself once you hit your mid 20s, it’s taken me THIS long to actually start accepting myself for who i am and living my life for myself, but i’m excited to see where the fuck life takes me after years of self-hatred, trauma, and trying too hard to please ppl that don’t give a shit. seeing eunbi just have a fucking blast on stage, take care of her members, and overall be the amazing person she is gave me the strength i desperately needed to actually get to the path i want to be on as someone that’s a few years away from turning 30.

as i said earlier, i’m not ready to just outright accept iz*one being gone. i’ll probably spend the entire month of may just watching their content since there’s still a shitton of stuff i have yet to watch and i’m lowkey embarrassed that as a fan, i’m admitting this, but also: there’s no time limit. i can always watch that video at another time, i’ll like that pic later, etc. i wish iz*one was one of those things that had no time limit because i’ll always cherish them, but in the 2.5 years of their existance, i achieved some big things and survived a pandemic. i left twitter, got closure in chapters i needed closure in, finished my a.a., etc among many other things during that time and it’s partly because of iz*one that i’ve pushed myself to do all of those things. it’s hard esp since it’s easier to just write smth like this on tumblr than actually do it, but the girls and their music were part of the reason why 2020 wasn’t a complete dumpster fire for me.

most of all, i wanted to write this because i wanted to shout-out the amazing folks at @izonetwork. i joined super late in the game, but the convos i’ve had, the laughs we’ve had on discord/among us, etc i’ll never forget it. meeting all of you was one of THE highlights of an otherwise shitty year and i’ll always credit you as one of the reasons why i wasn’t completely emotionally distant during such a dark time. all of you keep me grounded and i’m forever grateful. super honored to call you guys my friends. <3

so yeah, thank you iz*one. thank you, eunbi, sakura, hyewon, yena, chaeyeon, chaewon, minju, nako, hitomi, yuri, yujin, and wonyoung. i don’t speak korean or japanese, but know i’m eternally grateful for all the joy, strength and bops you gave me in the past 2.5 years. i’m even more grateful for the friends i’ve met thru my own fandom of the group. i’m excited to see what every single one of you does next regardless of what it may be.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go catch up on all the enozis i’ve missed.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

#izone #kpop #be quiet drea

9 notes · View notes

mercenarypark · 7 years

Photo

i was on steam earlier, looking for games involving dinosaurs [as one does], and i stumbled upon this old bastard. and it got me thinking about some things- namely, the way ppl tend 2 treat nazis as a plot device. im sure its been put more succinctly by other ppl, esp since ive been like, barely conscious most of today, but w/e: #nazism #text heavy #long post #antisemitism #murder #holocaust #shoah #concentration camps

i feel like there’s a possible connection to video games[esp classic shooters from the olden days] deciding to use nazis as their stand-in generic villain, an the disconnect a lot of ppl have today w/ nazis as an Actual Genuine Disgusting Force of Nature

and im not talking about like “uwu violence in video games is causing children 2 be more violent” stuff, i mean like, games w/ nazis as the villains doing vaguely evil stuff and being defeated by getting a bunch of lead pumped into them, easy-peasy, no mention of jewish people even existing-

instead lets have hitler have somehow resurrected dinosaurs and have a game where you can literally play as a nazi against your friends, AND have an incentive to chose the axis side since you get to be more dinosaurs uwu

honestly the fact that a game like this even made it past the drawing board, was published years ago, and has overwelmingly positive views, is. upsetting. because, and you wouldnt catch me dead playing this game, but i’d bet money that if they even once mention jewish ppl, or the Shoah, itd be offhanded and INCREDIBLY insensitive, making it so, like, the camps are patrolled by velociraptors or some bullshit-

but i digress, im not making this post to rant about a 6 year old game with a really flawed, shitty concept, im talking about how i feel like shit like this- making nazis into this ambiguously evil entity that you’re supposed to shoot and defeat- is both Obscenely insensitive to the trauma of actual jewish ppl[like me], holocaust survivors and their families, etc

by erasing over them and their/our stories, and just kinda treating nazis as a Concept instead of a genuine threat

which is smth i still see today, ppl using nazis as plot devices and with this sort of offhanded insensitivity, even NOW, when yes, nazis are still alive and well, holocaust denial is still alive and well even in the highest positions of power,

and people really dont care. and i feel like a lot of little things helped that. and one of those little things might very well have been, games like wolfenstein or this dinosaur nazi game where nazis were used for a standin generic enemy, and i think that sorta thing helped desensitize ppl to just sort of think as nazis as a vague sort of evil instead of, what they are.

i feel like there was good behind it at first- in the early ages of comic books, when most superheroes were created by jewish ppl, when punching nazis was a new concept and it was written with more than a little bit of cathartic anger- that was good. that i get.

hell, now that im invested in tf2, i have a lot of headcanons about medic murdering and slaughtering nazis, because im jewish and he’s jewish and by god, if i had the chance, i would absolutely murder a fucking nazi-

but there’s a difference between jewish creators doing that, i feel, and goyim taking nazis and removing jewish ppl entirely from the situation, and just turning nazis into a vague evil army force to be shot at. there’s a big difference there. one is personal, with a sense of fighting back, and one is more... performative, and taking the trauma of jewish ppl and twisting it so you have some meat shields for the player to shoot at

and again, like, ppl do that shit now, and make nazis a plot device- to take medic as an example again, on the OFF CHANCE i find someone who doesnt headcanon him as a goddamn nazi or nazi sympathizer, i find goyim headcanoning him, with an uncomfortable amount of focus, as being forced to work with nazis, or tortured by nazis, interned in a camp, etc, etc-

like, theres two reasons i intentionally do not hc medic as being kept in a camp. firstly, it’s too traumatic for me to even think about. secondly, it feels HORRIFICALLY disrespectful, even as a jewish person myself, to headcanon a fucking fictional character as being kept in a concentration camp and focusing on that in-depth- disrespectful to people who actually survived those conditions, and to the many, many who died, as well. they didnt suffer so that some people on the internet could use the camps as a plot device.

but goyim dont fucking care about that. and thats the real source of all this. again, goyim dont care about using jewish pain and suffering for a plot device.

and thats about all ive got to say. sorry this is, extremely long and i hope it all makes sense.

#captain's log #i am. tired fhgkhh #tf2 / mentioned towards the end #reblog if u want i guess ? i dont care #idk how well put this is though fhgkh

6 notes · View notes