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mrsbsmooth · 5 months

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Scripts - S7 - Episode 22 (Part 2 of 2)

Chatting with everyone else

&Gym: {Probably the person the departing islanders told you had a crush AKA Bonnie's partner except on a Bonnie route}

You and Uma sneak into the gym to find a sweaty {0} lifting weights.

PLAYER_IDLE: Pumping iron are we, {0}?

UMA_HAPPY: Ha! Do you even lift, bro?

{0}_HAPPY: What does it look like?

{0} gives you a wide grin and puts his weights to one side.

{0}_IDLE: Wow! Loving the outfit, {1}.

{0}_IDLE: So tell me, what brings you to my kingdom?

UMA_EMBARRASSED: This gym is your kingdom?

{0}_FLIRTY: Yup. And they call me the gym king.

PLAYER_IDLE: Who’s they?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Well, me. I do.

{0}_IDLE: And hey! Check this out.

{0} flexes a bulging bicep and winks at you both.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Wow. I’m speechless.

{0}_FLIRTY: I tend to have that effect on people.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Not in a good way.

PLAYER_IDLE: I think what Uma’s trying to say is…

UMA_IDLE: Have you seen {0}?

{0}_IDLE: No clue. I’ve been here, in the zone.

{0}_IDLE: Rome wasn’t built in a day. Y’know what I mean?

{0} shows off his six pack.

{0}_FLIRTY: This was years in the making!

Have a flirt

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Ooh. Hot!

UMA_FLIRTY: We love that.

{0}_IDLE: I knew you would.

{0}_SERIOUS: Do you ladies believe in love at first set?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Who mentioned anything about love?

{0}_FLIRTY: Cos just you wait until you see me curl this barbell 10 times.

UMA_FLIRTY: Ooph!

Cringe alert

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Cringe, {0}!

{0}_SURPRISED: Huh?

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Does this usually work for you?

{0}_IDLE: How about I show you my squats and burpees?

PLAYER_IDLE: Please. No more.

UMA_IDLE: I think we’ve seen enough, {0}.

{0}_SAD: Tough crowd.

PLAYER_IDLE: Moving swiftly on.

Just ask what he knows

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s cut to the chase, {0}.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Huh?

PLAYER_IDLE: Just tell us what you know?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: About what?

UMA_IDLE: Do you know anything about {0}’s headspace right now?

{0}_IDLE: Headspace? Well…

PLAYER_IDLE: Go on.

{0}_IDLE: He did say something to me. Yeah.

UMA_IDLE: And?

{0}_HAPPY: You think you’re getting info out of me that easily?!

{0}_IDLE: My lips are sealed.

{0}_HAPPY: I’m an active member of the bro-code society!

{0} stands to attention and performs a salute.

UMA_HAPPY: I’ll tickle it out of you. Come on.

{0}_SERIOUS: Not ticklish. So good luck.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Plus, I really don’t care.

{0}_SERIOUS: There’s too much stress and not enough endorphins flying around.

{0}_IDLE: And don’t get me started on {1}.

PLAYER_IDLE: You and me both.

{0}_IDLE: She is hooked on drama.

{0}_FLIRTY: But what I will say is…

PLAYER_IDLE: Keep talking.

{0}_IDLE: I think I know how you can win back {1}, {2}.

{0}_IDLE: Got some top notch info if you wanna hear it?

{0}_IDLE: Trust me, it’s bound to work.

*Yes, let’s hear it

Uma moves away to give you some space.

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s hear it then.

Nope. I’m cool

PLAYER_IDLE: Nope, I’m all set, thanks.

{0}_IDLE: No worries.

{0}_FLIRTY: Your loss and that.

PLAYER_IDLE: Charming.

UMA_FLIRTY: Right. Shall we, {0}?

{0}_IDLE: Right, so.

{0} claps his hands together.

This might sound strange, but hear me out.

{0}_IDLE: You two should work out together.

PLAYER_HAPPY: What? Really?

{0}_HAPPY: I know it sounds odd, but it totally works.

PLAYER_IDLE: Explain.

{0}_HAPPY: Look, have you ever done a workout with your partner?

Of course

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Of course! I want my partner to be my gym buddy.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I much prefer working out with someone else.

{0}_IDLE: Me too! It’s a way better experience.

{0}_IDLE: Especially when you share a connection with them.

A few times

PLAYER_IDLE: Maybe a few times.

{0}_FLIRTY: Then you’ll know what it’s like!

{0}_HAPPY: If they’re a good gym buddy you can get so much out of it.

Nope

PLAYER_IDLE: Never have!

{0}_HAPPY: Then you have to! It can be incredible.

{0}_HAPPY: As long as they’re a good gym buddy.

{0}_IDLE: Here’s what you do.

{0}_IDLE: You plan out a workout regime.

{0}_HAPPY: A mix of exercises that you can do as a couple.

{0}_HAPPY: And it forces you both to work together.

{0}_IDLE: You become closer and more bonded without even realising it.

{0}_FLIRTY: It’s like dancing.

PLAYER_IDLE: How?

{0}_FLIRTY: Well, you know what they say.

{0}_FLIRTY: If you’ve got dance moves, you’ve got moves under the sheets too.

{0}_HAPPY: Same with exercising together. You get a little sweaty…

{0}_HAPPY: Your endorphins get pumping!

{0}_FLIRTY: Before you know it, romance is in the air.

{0}_HAPPY: {1} will love it! Trust me, I have an instinct for these things.

{0}_IDLE: Plus, I overheard a certain someone talking about it earlier.

PLAYER_IDLE: You did? What did {0} say?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Basically everything I just said to you…

PLAYER_HAPPY: So you’re not wise at all. You’re just repeating what you heard?

{0}_HAPPY: Yes! But that’s what you want isn’t it?

{0}_HAPPY: The way straight to the heart.

{0}_HAPPY: I’m telling you, try it.

{0}_FLIRTY: It’ll make {1} weak at the knees.

PLAYER_IDLE: Well, I’ll keep that in mind, I guess.

{0}_IDLE: Just mention it.

{0}_IDLE: I know it’s random, but I genuinely think it’s gonna work.

PLAYER_IDLE: Ok. Thanks for that intel, {0}.

{0}_HAPPY: Anytime, {1}. Anytime.

UMA_IDLE: Well, now you’ve got that nugget of advice, {0}.

UMA_FLIRTY: Maybe we could put it to some use?

UMA_FLIRTY: Shall we?

{0}_IDLE: It’s been fun chatting, ladies.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: It has?

{0}_IDLE: Good luck on your onward journey.

You and Uma leave the gym as {0} picks up where he left off.

&Swingseat: {OG LI If romancing}

You and Uma spot {0} perched on the swing-seat.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Yikes. You gonna speak to him?

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I may as well.

As you and Uma approach, {0} looks awkward.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Hey there, {1}. Hey, Uma.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Hey. Awks energy here. Am I right?

PLAYER_IDLE: {0}, you wanna talk?

{0} looks at you, then down at his hands as he shuffles uncomfortably.

{0}_IDLE: Well, it’s nice to see you’re not blanking me anymore at least.

PLAYER_IDLE: Clearly not.

{0}_IDLE: Good to know.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: But…

{0}_IDLE: I’m sorry, {1}.

{0}_IDLE: I still need some time.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Why?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: It’s hard to explain, but I will soon. Just need to get my head straight.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I’m sorry, I know this is annoying.

{0}_IDLE: But let’s talk later.

You and Uma watch as {0} walks away back to the villa.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Ouch.

UMA_IDLE: Guess we should carry on exploring then.

PLAYER_IDLE: I guess so.

UMA_IDLE: You’ll talk to him later, babes.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I suppose.

You and Uma head off together.

{OG LI If switched to Travis/Vicky/Evan}

You and Uma spot {0} swinging on the swing seat.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Oh, hey. What’s up?

PLAYER_IDLE: Hey, {0}.

UMA_IDLE: Don’t worry. We’re not here for drama.

{0}_IDLE: Always good to hear.

UMA_IDLE: I just wanna know where {0} is? Have you seen him?

{0}_IDLE: I’ve seen him, but couldn’t tell you where he is now.

UMA_SAD: Fantastic.

{0}_IDLE: But while I’ve got you, {1}.

PLAYER_IDLE: Yeah?

{0} takes a deep breath and looks uncomfortable.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I wanted to apologise for {1}.

{0}_SERIOUS: I think she got carried away when she saw you and {1}.

UMA_SERIOUS: Tell me about it.

{0}_IDLE: And I don’t think she meant anything by telling people about it.

Seriously!? She’s stirring big time!!

PLAYER_ANGRY: Are you serious?! She’s properly stirring!

UMA_ANGRY: I agree.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: The girl’s had beef with me since I got here.

UMA_SERIOUS: Again. Agree.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: And now she’s trying to make me look bad by making up rumours?

{0}_IDLE: I get it. It was silly of her to spread it around.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: But I guess she’s just impulsive.

Why are you defending her?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Why are you defending her?

{0}_IDLE: I’m not. I just think she acted impulsively.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: She doesn’t always think about the consequences of her actions.

I don’t know what to believe

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Right now, I don’t know what to believe.

{0}_IDLE: It’s been a tricky time, for sure.

Maybe you’re right

PLAYER_IDLE: Maybe you’re right.

{0}_IDLE: It’s been a tricky time, for sure.

UMA_IDLE: Agreed.

{0}_IDLE: If it makes you feel any better, I told her not to tell anyone.

PLAYER_IDLE: You did?

{0} nods.

{0}_IDLE: She came to me after she saw you and {1} hanging out.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Right.

{0}_IDLE: I told her it didn’t seem like much to go on.

{0}_IDLE: But {1} can be pretty determined when she wants.

{0}_IDLE: And we see what we want to, I guess.

UMA_IDLE: That’s deep.

Uma spots someone passing by the gym.

UMA_SURPRISED: Hang on! Is that…?

UMA_IDLE: I’ll be right back, guys.

She skips off, leaving you and {0} alone.

{0} softly smiles and then looks at you.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I, um…

PLAYER_IDLE: Yeah?

{0}_IDLE: I just want you to know.

{0}_IDLE: I’ve still got your back in here, {1}.

PLAYER_IDLE: You do?

{0}_IDLE: Yeah. It’s funny…

{0}_IDLE: I still find myself making you cups of coffee or tea, then remembering…

His face saddens.

{0}_IDLE: Just know, I still care for you. Massively. And I’m here for you.

{0}_HAPPY: I can’t just turn my feelings off.

{0}_IDLE: Sometimes I think it’d be easier if I could.

Flirt to turn his head

PLAYER_IDLE: I know what you mean.

{0}_IDLE: I thought you would.

PLAYER_IDLE: We went through a lot together.

PLAYER_IDLE: And it’s always hard to switch off feelings.

You edge closer towards him on the swing seat.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And maybe a part of me doesn’t want to either.

{0}_IDLE: Is that right?

You nod at {0} mischievously.

{0}_IDLE: I mean…

{0}_FLIRTY: I’d be lying if I said I don’t still think about you.

{0}_FLIRTY: Especially in this outfit.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: But you also…

{0} runs his hands through his hair.

{0}_SERIOUS: When you married, {1}, I can’t lie.

{0}_SAD: It did sting.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I know.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Of course, I respect your decision.

PLAYER_IDLE: Well, no decision is ever final, is it?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Especially in this villa.

{0}_IDLE: What do you mean?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I guess, I’m just saying we have a lot of history.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Sometimes it's hard to bury it.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m starting to feel that too.

{0} leans in closer to you as you feel your legs brush together for a quick moment.

{0}_IDLE: It’s nice to spend some quality time with you again.

{0}_FLIRTY: It even feels a bit naughty.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I know.

{0}_FLIRTY: Isn’t that weird?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: So weird.

Your eyes lock teasingly until you hear footsteps.

Tell him to explore his other connections

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I’m sorry, {0}.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: But maybe you should explore all your connections?

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m not the only girl in the villa. We are here to explore.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I know, I know.

He looks at you and his face lightens.

{0}_IDLE: I’m sorry you and {1} aren’t speaking right now.

PLAYER_IDLE: You’re sorry about that? Really?

You give {0} a questioning gaze.

{0}_IDLE: I’m serious! I don’t like seeing you not getting on.

Act casual

PLAYER_IDLE: These things take time.

{0}_IDLE: You’re so right.

{0}_IDLE: And y’know what? I’m happy you are exploring things.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: You are? Really?

{0}_HAPPY: Doesn’t mean I want us to stop exploring things together.

{0}_IDLE: But I’m sorry you and {1} aren’t speaking right now.

PLAYER_IDLE: You’re sorry about that?

You give {0} a questioning gaze.

{0}_IDLE: I’m serious! I just don’t like seeing you two not getting on.

{0}_IDLE: Plus, I can kinda relate to how {1} might be feeling right now.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: You can?

{0}_IDLE: Don’t forget, I know you pretty well too.

{0}_IDLE: In fact, I think I know how you can win {1} over.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Although, I’m not sure I should be telling you.

{0}_IDLE: You wanna hear?

*Obviously!

PLAYER_IDLE: Obviously I want to hear!

Nah, I’m good

PLAYER_IDLE: Nah, I’m good, thanks.

{0}_IDLE: No worries.

{0}_FLIRTY: Well, if you ask me…

{0}_HAPPY: I think the trick is to make {1} jealous.

PLAYER_IDLE: Jealous?

{0}_IDLE: Yeah.

{0}_IDLE: Right now, {1} thinks you’re gonna welcome them back with open arms.

{0}_IDLE: Essentially just playing hard to get.

PLAYER_IDLE: Really?

{0} nods.

{0}_IDLE: What you need to do is show them who should be doing the grafting!

{0}_IDLE: Make them really miss you and realise they might be losing you.

PLAYER_IDLE: How would I do that?

{0}_FLIRTY: Flirt with someone else. Play the field!

{0}_FLIRTY: I know there are other people here that want to spend more time with you.

{0}_HAPPY: Maybe it’s time you give them a chance?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And who might you be referring to…

{0}_HAPPY: Perhaps a guy who's had their heart set on you since you walked in…

{0}_FLIRTY: Whoever that might be.

PLAYER_IDLE: Uhuh.

{0}_IDLE: Once {1} see’s that they have competition.

{0}_HAPPY: I’m sure they will drop the act and come running back to you.

PLAYER_IDLE: Couldn’t that be a bit risky?

{0}_IDLE: Depends how you look at it!

{0}_FLIRTY: If you explore your connection with other people…

{0}_FLIRTY: And {1} doesn’t fight for you, then maybe they aren’t the one.

{0}_HAPPY: And you might discover that your connection with someone…

{0}_FLIRTY: Was what you were looking for all along.

{0}_IDLE: Just think about it.

{0}_IDLE: And you know where I am if you need any help.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’d be very happy to oblige.

Kiss him on the cheek

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Thanks, {0}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’ll give your advice some serious thought.

You lean towards him, puckering your lips.

He closes his eyes and awaits your kiss.

You turn his head away and plant a smooch on his cheek.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m sure that would make {1} jealous.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Shame they weren’t around to see it.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m at your service anytime.

Thank him

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks, {0}.

PLAYER_HAPPY: You’ve given me some food for thought.

{0}_HAPPY: Anytime, {1}.

{0}_FLIRTY: You know where to find me.

Move on

PLAYER_IDLE: Well, if that’s all you have to say…

{0}_IDLE: Oh, yeah I guess.

Uma runs back to the swing seat, out of breath.

{0}_FLIRTY: Looks like we got company.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: False alarm, it wasn’t {0}.

UMA_IDLE: So what did I miss?

{0}_IDLE: Nothing much.

PLAYER_IDLE: Just catching up.

{0} looks at you playfully.

{0}_IDLE: We were chatting about the weather. That’s all.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Sounds thrilling.

UMA_IDLE: Good for you, guys.

UMA_IDLE: Listen, {0}. {1}’s got to be somewhere.

UMA_IDLE: Let’s carry on looking.

{0}_IDLE: Laters, you two.

{0}_FLIRTY: It was good to see you, {1}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It sure was.

UMA_IDLE: See ya!

You and Uma set off again, leaving {0} with his own thoughts.

&Loungers: {I have no idea who this is what triggers this convo}

You and Uma head to the sun loungers, only to find a sleeping {0} snoring away in the sun.

PLAYER_IDLE: Look at him!

UMA_IDLE: Aww, sleeping beauty.

UMA_FLIRTY: How shall we wake him then?

Crow like a rooster

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Let’s crow like roosters.

UMA_FLIRTY: The best idea.

You both take deep breaths and hover over a sleeping {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: One, two, three…

UMA_FLIRTY: Go!

PLAYER_IDLE: Cock a Doodle Doooooo!

UMA_SURPRISED: Cock a Doddle Dooo {0}!

{0}’s eyes dart open as he sits up with a bemused expression.

Sing him a wake up rhyme

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s sing him a morning rhyme?

UMA_FLIRTY: Let’s do it, girl.

You both clear your throats, hover over {0} and then belt out a little tune.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Wakey, wakey, rise and shine!

UMA_HAPPY: {0}’s asleep and looking fine!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Wake up {0}, it’s time to play.

UMA_FLIRTY: We’d hate you to waste the rest of today.

{0}’s eyes dart open as he sits up with a bemused expression.

Let him wake up naturally

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s wake him up naturally.

UMA_IDLE: You’re kinder than I am, {0}.

UMA_FLIRTY: We’ll go easy on him this time.

{0}’s eyes slowly open at the sound of your hushed voices.

{0}_SURPRISED: Who’s there!?

His eyes fall on you and Uma, then he smiles.

{0}_IDLE: Phew. It’s only you.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I dreamt I was being chased by a pack of roosters.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Ooh. I wonder why!?

UMA_FLIRTY: Funny old thing. The mind and that.

{0}_IDLE: Weird ass dream, man.

{0}_FLIRTY: But I actually kinda liked it.

{0} chuckles and rubs his eyes.

{0}_HAPPY: And what a wake up call!

{0}_IDLE: I’m impressed.

PLAYER_HAPPY: We thought you would be.

{0} chuckles and rubs his eyes.

He gives himself a quick stretch and yawns.

{0}_IDLE: A very good morning to you.

UMA_IDLE: If you call this the morning.

{0}_IDLE: It is somewhere.

{0} chuckles and rubs his eyes.

{0}_IDLE: Anyway, what can I help you with today?

He looks at you both and breaks into a cheeky smile.

{0}_FLIRTY: I can smell trouble brewing, that’s for sure.

PLAYER_HAPPY: What do you mean? Trouble?

{0}_HAPPY: Oh please. I know two ladies on a mission when I see it.

UMA_IDLE: Well, since you’re so good with your eyes.

UMA_IDLE: We’re looking for {0}. Seen him?

{0}_IDLE: Sure, I’ve seen him.

PLAYER_IDLE: Where?

{0}_IDLE: He was chilling alone by the firepit earlier.

UMA_IDLE: Alone?

{0} nods.

{0}_IDLE: I tried to chat with him but it looked like he didn’t want the company.

{0}_IDLE: He wanted some alone time. I respect that.

PLAYER_IDLE: Where is he now?

{0}_IDLE: No clue. I’ve been asleep, haven’t I.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Ugh! I really need to talk to him.

{0} turns to you and sighs.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Well, I hope it’s not to cause drama.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I just want everyone in this villa to sort out their stress.

UMA_IDLE: We’re trying, {0}.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: And I am properly bored of {1} getting involved in everyone’s business.

PLAYER_IDLE: You are?

{0}_HAPPY: Especially when she’s now got her original partner back!

{0}_IDLE: It doesn’t make sense to me.

{0}_IDLE: That girl needs to be played some calming wave sounds or something.

PLAYER_IDLE: I guess there’s no pleasing some people?

{0}_FLIRTY: How about you poke your nose in her business instead?

PLAYER_IDLE: I thought you were done with stress?

{0}_HAPPY: Fair enough.

{0}_IDLE: At the end of the day, I’m all about love.

{0}_IDLE: Like, I’m still rooting for {1} and {2}.

PLAYER_IDLE: You are?

{0}_IDLE: Of course.

{0}_IDLE: It’s just a blip. Trust me.

{0}_IDLE: We’ve all been through our own ups and downs romantically in here.

{0}_FLIRTY: And hey. I’ve got the perfect way for you two to reconcile.

{0}_HAPPY: Guaranteed to work.

{0}_IDLE: Are you interested in a top tip to win {1}’s heart?

*Always!

PLAYER_IDLE: Always. Let’s hear it.

No thanks

PLAYER_IDLE: No, thanks.

{0}_IDLE: I respect that.

{0}_IDLE: Well, I’m sorry I can’t be of any more help to you.

{0}_IDLE: I think you gotta play it cool.

PLAYER_IDLE: What do you mean?

{0}_IDLE: You don’t wanna ghost {1}...

{0}_IDLE: But you don’t wanna get overly involved either.

{0}_HAPPY: It’s a delicate balance.

PLAYER_IDLE: Right?

{0}_IDLE: I’ll let you in on a little secret…

{0}_IDLE: Promise you won’t tell anyone you heard it from me!

I promise!

PLAYER_HAPPY: I promise! Just spill.

{0}_HAPPY: Alright, alright!

{0}_HAPPY: Just had to make sure!

I’m not making any promises

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m not making any promises.

{0}_IDLE: Ok, fine!

{0}_HAPPY: I’ll tell you anyway. You’re lucky I like you!

{0}_IDLE: {1} and I were talking about our biggest turn ons in partners.

{0}_HAPPY: And they confessed that they love mystery.

{0}_HAPPY: They want to be kept on their toes.

{0}_HAPPY: They like not knowing what’s going to happen next.

{0}_IDLE: Apparently they love the adventure and find it really sexy.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Wow, ok.

{0}_IDLE: So my advice is keep them guessing!

{0}_HAPPY: It’s all part of the fun.

{0}_HAPPY: Be spontaneous and surprise them with things.

{0}_HAPPY: My guess is they are backing off to see how you respond.

{0}_HAPPY: So see if you can make a big splash!

{0}_HAPPY: Maybe present them with a lavish picnic?

{0}_HAPPY: Or some naughty fun somewhere unexpected.

{0}_HAPPY: They’ll love it.

{0}_HAPPY: Are you good at keeping people on their toes?

I’m a pro!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Trust me, they’ll be walking like a ballerina in no time.

{0}_HAPPY: Yes, {1}! Love the confidence, use it!

{0}_HAPPY: You’ll have {1} grafting you hard in no time.

Never tried it

PLAYER_IDLE: I’ve never tried to be honest, that’s not really me.

{0}_HAPPY: You don’t have to!

Just a little tip for getting {0}’s interest.

{0}_HAPPY: Take it or leave it!

When I want to be

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I am when I want to be.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Depends on who I’m with.

{0}_HAPPY: Well now you know about {1}.

{0}_HAPPY: It’ll be sure to get them grafting again.

{0}_FLIRTY: And that’s the end of my podcast.

{0}_IDLE: Thanks for listening.

PLAYER_IDLE: So you’re saying, act mysterious?

{0}_IDLE: Correct. It always keeps them coming back for more.

PLAYER_IDLE: Interesting.

PLAYER_IDLE: Well, you’ve certainly given me food for thought.

{0}_HAPPY: That’s me!

UMA_IDLE: I’m gonna have to steal {0} back again now.

{0}_IDLE: Enjoy, you two.

UMA_IDLE: Let’s boogie on down, {0}.

{0}_IDLE: See you ladies! I’m gonna get back to my snooze!

PLAYER_IDLE: Sweet dreams, {0}.

{0}_IDLE: Back to those roosters.

{0}_HAPPY: Cock-a-doodle-doze.

{0} laughs and waves you off before drifting off again.

After your villa adventure, you and Uma return to the lawn.

UMA_IDLE: Thanks for having my back just then, {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: No worries.

UMA_IDLE: You’re a real girl’s girl.

PLAYER_IDLE: Ah. You’re cute, Uma.

UMA_IDLE: And I mega appreciate it.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Even if there’s still no sign of {0}!

Uma looks glum, then suddenly turns to you, panicked.

UMA_SURPRISED: You don’t think he’s quit the villa has he?

PLAYER_IDLE: I really doubt that, Uma.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: You never know in this place.

PLAYER_IDLE: I guess anything can happen.

BONNIE_SURPRISED: There you girls are!

Bonnie waves you over from her spot in the garden.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Exactly where we left you, Bonnie.

UMA_IDLE: Got some good sun and birdwatching done?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Sun, birdwatching and…

BONNIE_IDLE: I spotted a bloke too.

BONNIE_HAPPY: A very rare sighting indeed.

UMA_SURPRISED: What!?

PLAYER_IDLE: Who?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: {0} is hiding in the living room.

UMA_SURPRISED: Of course. We didn’t check in there!

BONNIE_IDLE: Go, go, go! Before he flies away again.

UMA_IDLE: Come on, {0}.

UMA_FLIRTY: The mission continues.

After your villa adventure, you and Uma return to the lawn.

UMA_IDLE: Thanks for having my back just then, {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: No worries.

UMA_IDLE: You’re a real girl’s girl.

PLAYER_IDLE: Ah. You’re cute, Uma.

UMA_IDLE: And I mega appreciate it.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Even if there’s still no sign of {0}!

Uma looks glum, then suddenly turns to you, panicked.

UMA_SURPRISED: You don’t think he’s quit the villa has he?

PLAYER_IDLE: I really doubt that, Uma.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: You never know in this place.

PLAYER_IDLE: I guess anything can happen.

{0}_SURPRISED: There you girls are!

{0} waves you over from her spot in the garden.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Exactly where we left you, {0}.

UMA_IDLE: Got some good sun and birdwatching done?

{0}_FLIRTY: Sun, birdwatching and…

{0}_IDLE: I spotted a bloke too.

{0}_HAPPY: A very rare sighting indeed.

UMA_SURPRISED: What!?

PLAYER_IDLE: Who?

{0}_FLIRTY: {1} is hiding in the living room.

UMA_SURPRISED: Of course. We didn’t check in there!

{0}_IDLE: Go, go, go! Before he flies away again.

UMA_IDLE: Come on, {0}.

UMA_FLIRTY: The mission continues.

You and Uma walk into the living room to find {0} sitting alone.

PLAYER_IDLE: {0}!? You’re here.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Hey, {0}.

{0} looks at you both red faced.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Oh, hey, guys.

UMA_IDLE: We’ve been looking for you everywhere, {0}.

{0}_IDLE: I’ve been hiding here for a while.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Just needed some alone time.

PLAYER_IDLE: Penny for your thoughts, {0}?

{0}’s face softens.

{0}_IDLE: I’m glad you’re here too, {1}.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I just wanted to say…

{0}_SERIOUS: I’m sorry about how everything went down between us.

{0}_IDLE: {1} really blew things out of proportion.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: But I do take full responsibility for what I did.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I just lost my cool for a second.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: We both did. And I feel properly silly about it.

BRYSON_EMBARRASSED: Like I said, my player days are well behind me.

BRYSON_EMBARRASSED: I’m not about that life anymore.

BRYSON_IDLE: Especially since meeting you, Uma.

ALEX_IDLE: That’s just not the guy I am.

PLAYER_IDLE: Like I said, it really wasn’t a big deal.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Yeah. It meant nothing.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Yeah, me too.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: It meant nothing.

PLAYER_IDLE: Don’t be so hard on yourself, {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: It was just a flirt. I don’t regret it.

{0}_IDLE: But still…

{0}_IDLE: I mean, talk about making a mountain out of a molehill.

{0}_IDLE: But my concern should have always been for that girl right there.

{0}_IDLE: Like yours was, {1}.

{0} looks affectionately at Uma.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I’m really sorry, Uma.

Uma’s face lights up as she steps closer to {0}.

UMA_HAPPY: I accept your apology.

{0}_IDLE: We’ve been on a real ride here, haven’t we?

UMA_FLIRTY: Lucky for you, I like rollercoasters.

{0}_FLIRTY: Another thing we have in common.

{0}_FLIRTY: I know where my head’s at now. It’s with you, Uma.

UMA_FLIRTY: My head’s with you too.

Uma and {0} fold into each other's arms before sharing an affectionate kiss.

Tell them to get a room

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Guys! Get a room!

UMA_FLIRTY: I think we’ve found one right here.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Guess that’s my cue to leave, then.

UMA_FLIRTY: Yeah, I think we need some privacy, {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: You’re telling me.

UMA_IDLE: Thanks for being the best wing-woman.

Wish them luck

PLAYER_IDLE: Aww, good luck you guys.

UMA_FLIRTY: Thanks, {0}.

UMA_IDLE: You’re the best wing-woman.

{0}_FLIRTY: Yeah, thanks, {1}.

{0} runs his hand down Uma’s back as she giggles.

UMA_FLIRTY: Maybe we need some privacy, {0}.

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m starting to see that.

Tell them the relationship’s a sham

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Right…

Uma comes up for air after kissing {0}.

UMA_IDLE: Huh? Did you say something, {0}?

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I’m starting to think this relationship is a sham, guys.

UMA_SURPRISED: What makes you think that?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: One minute you’re fighting, the next you’re all over each other.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Sounds like someone else I know?

Before you can answer, {0} jumps to Uma’s defence.

{0}_IDLE: Hey. You’re entitled to your opinions, {1}.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I know I am.

{0} places an arm around Uma’s shoulder.

{0}_IDLE: But right now…

{0}_FLIRTY: I think we need to catch up on lost time.

PLAYER_IDLE: Don’t I know it!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It sure looks like it.

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m just saying what I feel.

UMA_IDLE: Thanks for the input.

{0}_IDLE: Maybe you should find {1}?

PLAYER_IDLE: I’ll give you guys some space.

You head out the living room and leave the lovebirds to it.

As you walk outside towards the glittering pool, you spy {0}. It looks like she’s been waiting for you.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Hey, {1}.

PLAYER_IDLE: What now, {0}?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I just wanted to…

PLAYER_IDLE: To what?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I wanted to apologise…

{0}_SAD: I know you may not want to hear it.

{0}_SAD: But I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I’ve been acting up.

{0}_HAPPY: And a chance to make things right if I can, with a proper apology.

{0}_SAD: There is more to mine and {1}’s story than you may know.

{0}_SAD: I think you deserve the whole truth.

{0}_IDLE: Will you stay with me a little while to make things right?

*Go on, I’m listening

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s hear it then.

{0}_HAPPY: Thanks, {1}.

I’m fine, thanks

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t want to hear it.

{0}_IDLE: I understand, but it would mean the world to me to clear the air.

{0}_IDLE: I feel I have to answer for my behaviour.

{0}_IDLE: And you deserve to know everything about me and {1}.

{0}_IDLE: Are you sure you won’t stay?

*Start talking

PLAYER_IDLE: Fine, let’s hear it then.

{0}_HAPPY: Thanks, {1}.

I’d rather not know

PLAYER_IDLE: I don’t have time for this.

{0}_SERIOUS: Fine, don’t take my apology then.

{0}_SERIOUS: I see how it is… I was just trying to be nice.

{0}_IDLE: I wanted to start by saying, I haven’t been myself lately.

{0}_SAD: I know that isn’t a good excuse…

{0}_IDLE: Obviously we have only met recently, but I promise I’m not usually like this.

PLAYER_IDLE: So, what’s changed?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Well… {1}.

{0}_IDLE: I’ve always been fairly chilled out when it comes to relationships.

{0}_IDLE: Not really bothered when they end, not that excited when they begin.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: To be honest it got me wondering what all the fuss was about?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Like why are people so hungry for love?

{0}_IDLE: And why are they so heartbroken when they lose it?

PLAYER_IDLE: Right…

{0}_IDLE: I always thought I had been in love, but now it seems obvious that I hadn't.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Because there is no way of knowing what it feels like…

{0}_HAPPY: Until it happens to you.

PLAYER_IDLE: What are you saying? You’re in love with {0}?

{0}_IDLE: What I’m saying is…

{0}_HAPPY: When you were younger did you ever dream of your wedding when you grew up?

Obviously!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Of course I did.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Doesn’t everyone?

{0}_HAPPY: Exactly! It’s everyone’s dream.

Not really

PLAYER_IDLE: Not really to be honest.

{0}_SAD: Oh, ok.

{0}_IDLE: Well I did.

{0}_HAPPY: Whenever I thought about growing up and getting married…

{0}_HAPPY: With a huge gorgeous wedding and my beautiful family.

{0}_HAPPY: The hunky hubby I imagined by my side at the altar was {1}!

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Really? When you didn’t even know him?

{0}_FLIRTY: It wasn’t literally him, but he was the spitting image!

{0}_HAPPY: Everything about him from top to bottom.

{0}_HAPPY: His smile, the glint in his eye, his silly laugh!

PLAYER_IDLE: You’re saying he’s your type?

{0}_HAPPY: It’s more than that, he’s the dream guy!

{0}_IDLE: So much that when he walked into the villa I couldn’t believe my eyes.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: It might seem childish but I kind of thought…

{0}_IDLE: This is the reason I have never felt that excitement. Because it wasn’t him.

{0}_HAPPY: And once we were coupled up I felt it!

{0}_HAPPY: That feeling when you get butterflies just talking to someone.

{0}_HAPPY: And you can hear your heart beating and you feel all fuzzy.

{0}_HAPPY: Yeah, me and {1} didn’t have that much in common.

{0}_SAD: And we clashed over certain things.

{0}_SAD: I think part of it was I was trying to play it too cool.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I didn’t want him to know how deep my feelings could go.

{0}_IDLE: I didn’t want to admit it to myself even.

{0}_HAPPY: I felt that with Raf when I first met him.

{0}_HAPPY: And I tried to blow it as a defence mechanism.

{0}_HAPPY: But there was always something in our connection.

{0}_HAPPY: I missed him every day during Casa.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: And I got so worried about what he might be doing.

{0}_HAPPY: But when I saw him at Stick or Twist again.

{0}_FLIRTY: It all came rushing back and I decided I had to go for it.

{0}_HAPPY: It felt a bit like destiny or something.

I do believe in destiny

PLAYER_HAPPY: Yeah, I believe in destiny.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I think we all have our set journey.

{0}_IDLE: Exactly! I feel like he is mine.

It’s nonsense

PLAYER_IDLE: No, I think that’s all made up.

{0}_SURPRISED: Really? You don’t think some people are meant to be?

PLAYER_IDLE: Nope.

{0} is not your destiny

PLAYER_IDLE: There is no way that {0} is your destiny.

PLAYER_IDLE: It sounds like you’re still dreaming.

{0}_SAD: Well, that’s how I feel.

{0}_IDLE: How can you be so sure?

{0}_IDLE: I feel like he is the one.

{0}_HAPPY: And I think deep down he feels the same about me.

PLAYER_IDLE: And why do you think that?

{0}_IDLE: Because of the things he told me before you arrived.

{0}_HAPPY: I knew he saw something in me that I saw in him.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: What did he say?

{0}_IDLE: He said that he could see a future with me.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: That might not sound like a lot to you…

{0}_SAD: But he’s the first boy who has said that to me.

{0}_SAD: And he’s the first boy that I saw a future with too.

{0}_IDLE: And now I’ve pictured that future, I don’t want to let it go.

PLAYER_IDLE: So why did you twist?

{0}_SAD: Because I was nervous that he would twist and I’d lose him for good.

{0}_IDLE: But I can’t give up on us.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I know he likes you, I can see it in his eyes.

{0}_IDLE: But I need to see if we can still have that future.

{0}_SAD: So, yeah. I’m sorry for the way I have behaved.

{0}_SAD: And for the drama I have caused. It was stupid of me.

{0}_SAD: You and {1} didn’t deserve that.

{0}_SAD: I shouldn’t have said anything.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: And I’m sorry for embellishing and exaggerating what I saw.

PLAYER_IDLE: You laid it on with a shovel.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: That’s me, I’m afraid.

{0}_IDLE: Always got a penchant for drama.

{0}_IDLE: But I’m also sorry that I’m not going anywhere. Not yet.

{0}_IDLE: I hope you can be ok with that.

Forgive her

PLAYER_IDLE: I appreciate the apology, {0}.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You do?

PLAYER_IDLE: And I forgive you.

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s put an end to this soap opera.

{0}_HAPPY: I agree.

Tell her it’s a little too late

PLAYER_ANGRY: It’s a little too late to make amends, {0}.

{0}_IDLE: I get that.

PLAYER_ANGRY: {0} isn’t speaking to me because of what you did!

PLAYER_SERIOUS: You can’t just click your fingers and magically make it all disappear.

{0}_SAD: I know, I just wanted to explain.

Say you don’t trust her

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I don’t trust you one little bit, {0}.

{0}_IDLE: I’m not asking you to trust me.

{0}_IDLE: I’m just apologising.

PLAYER_IDLE: You’ve stirred and crossed the line in such a big way.

PLAYER_ANGRY: And you’ve made things awkward between me and {0}!

{0}_SAD: I know, I just wanted to explain.

It’s game on

PLAYER_IDLE: If that’s the way it’s going to be then fine.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Because I’m not going anywhere either.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: So we'll just see who he picks.

{0}_IDLE: I guess so.

{0}_SAD: Anyway, thanks for hearing me out.

{0}_IDLE: It felt good to get that off my chest.

{0} appears behind you.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Hey, {1}.

{0} senses a vibe between you two and looks awkward.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I’ll give you guys some space.

{0}_IDLE: Thanks, {1}.

{0} leaves you and {1} alone.

{0} looks at you and shuffles nervously for what he’s about to say.

{0} looks at you and shuffles nervously for what she’s about to say.

{0}_IDLE: {1}?

PLAYER_IDLE: Yeah?

{0}_SERIOUS: I think it’s time we talked.

NARRATOR: Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in…

NARRATOR: It’s only {0} with their tail between their legs.

NARRATOR: But what tale will {0} tell when the cat is finally let out the bag!

NARRATOR: And is this a time to hiss and make up?

NARRATOR: Come back next time to find out!

0 notes

the-letter-horror-lover · 2 years

Text

Rox

Summary:

Eric and Rox, pure porn, and they like it like that.

Notes:

Yes, 16 is coming, but this one was just for fun.

Chapter Text

The buzz of the tattooing pen filled zir ears as ze shaped the new motif. Butterflies. Beautiful black and white butterflies with nuclear green spots. Butterflies, the symbols of the soul's transformation. Eric was zir willing canvas tonight, the butterflies rising from just over the root of his prick, wrapping to the right over the flange of his pelvic bone. Around and up his back, following the inside curve of his shoulder blade, the butterflies ascended to the roses on his shoulders, alighting to feed on the nectar of mortal blossoms. Finally, in invisible UV-ink script among the butterflies, "Media vita in morte sumus."

"Pretty Man, you are a work of art." Stark naked, tied to the chair, and in a state of bliss, Eric opened his eyes and gave zir the most goofball smile. "And you're as high as a kite on endorphins."

"Surfing it. Amazing. More," he rasped.

"Gorgeous. Insane. Voracious." Rox picked up a lidded cup of orange juice and slipped the straw between Eric's lips. "Suck." Eric drank down a good amount of the cup and then flexed against his bonds when ze kissed him. "Let me dress the new designs."

That boy knew how to distract zir, but Rox took a moment to step back and admire zir work. Cordelia had been an inspiration. Rox imagined that if ze ever raised a child that ze would feel much the same pride. After all, it was ze and dear Ronnie-that-was who had taken Elizabeth to the Origin. While the transformation was the work of She Who Spins, the will to survive that Rebirth came from Cordelia alone. Newly widowed, a new mother, wounded, and dying, the butterfly burst forth from her mortal cocoon and thrived.

"Let me see?" Eric asked. "You were on fire, Rox."

"In a moment." A Reaper's touch could heal or kill, and Rox exerted a little extra to speed up the healing. Already the one just over his pubic bone had stopped seeping. "I do have a delicate touch, do I not?"

"And a kinky canvas."

"I've created a horny little monster." How could you not slap his ass? Rox did and it felt so good ze did it again. "Stop distracting me, you satyr."

"Or you could just fuck me right here."

"I give the marching orders, Pretty Man, and the fucking orders." Ze dressed and covered the tats with her own formula of beeswax and aloe, giving a grope to his locked-down bits. "Behave or I put it in a cage until Saturday."

"I always behave."

"No lightning strikes in my studio, libertine." The last butterfly was covered and Rox used her fingers to tease some of his fauxhawk into a pair of horns. "You're just so cute when you're all rammish and mouthy."

"I can do other things with my mouth. Get a little closer." Trash-Talking Eric was Turned On Eric.

"Do I need to tape it shut? Or should I smack your ass like a bongo player on Red Bull?" Ze body bumped him. "Or to I need to put your mouth and ass in the kitchen and make you work?"

"Fuck you." Overbright eyes, flushed cheeks, and a sneer. "Make me do jack."

"That's it, boy." Whoopie! "You need me to lay down the law around here."

Eric loved to play rough, even when he was doing what he wanted to do. Who knew that he had such a cop kink to match the service kink? The thing about Eric's service kink was that making pancakes, being a bath boy, or sexual services were all on the same plane. Rox never had a bottom who would get get off on orders to make elaborate sweets and Officer Friendly's tender attentions equally. It was fun and a little fattening, especially when Eric was in the mood to spoil one. Ze needed to get back into swinging zir scythe.

Restraints sent Eric to the moon, and being restrained and then moved was the equivalent of an endorphin keyboardsmash. Cuffing his upper arms to his torso, ze snapped a lead onto his collar and marched him into the stairwell. It was time for a visit from Officer Friendly.

There were times when not being able to keep his big fucking mouth shut had a good side. God. Real chains and bungee cords. Rox nailed every kink he had as if ze'd put them there zirself. And there were titties. Eric was a gold star faggot, but was going to trade it in if he couldn't admit that titties were fun. Rox's were cute. And since he had time to think, what with being on his knees and chained to an oak bannister as thick as his forearm, Eric found that liking titties did not make him less of a fag, it just meant he liked titties on Rox.

"HEY, COP! You going to keep me tied up in here all fucking night?" Rox was not afraid to play rough and Eric relished it. It was as if his skin was waking up, and everything else that had been muffled for so long. "I've got rights, you know!"

"Pipe down, punk. You have the right to be slapped in the face with my dick."

Officer Friendly strode into the stairwell, one of New York's finest perverts, and Eric reminded himself not to break role by drooling. Rox did something to motorcycle cop wear, especially those boots. Eric had previously enjoyed some rather fine copfucking in his time, but this was a whole new level. There were times when Rox was all about the femme, there were times when Rox presented masculine - those shoulders made Eric unf - and then there were times when Rox's gender was all about fucking up the binary.

Like now.

Pushup bras and a stiff cock in those blue pants. Hair tucked under the a motorcycle cop's helmet. Sunglasses. Handcuffs. Boots.

And the Nightstick of Doom.

"Good evening, Officer Friendly." Eric singsonged before adding, "You cock-knocking jugfucker."

Rox grinned, a mouth full of pearly whites as ze undid the chinstrap of the helmet and tossed zir herringbone braid free. "You perverted little shit. I need to give you the full force of the law. You go blasting through the city on that big blue crotch-rocket of yours-"

"With a perverted cop staring at my ass-"

"Breaking every traffic law-"

"Waving that nightstick around like a honking handled dildo-"

It was trash-talking, which not many people could do, but Eric loved it with someone who could play along with him. Good God, but he wanted to suck Rox off - that hadn't happened in a while, and it shook Eric to realize the trust that he placed in Rox.

"It's funny, punk. I think you want to be dickslapped." Rox unbuckled and unzipped, revealing that Officer Friendly liked to wear panties to match zir push-up bra. "Pervert."

"Other pervert. We keep having his conversation, usually with that nightstick up my ass."

"Is that a wish or observation?"

Eric was very busy appreciating Rox's dick under red lace. "I like things up my ass in general, so just mentioning."

"Are you a cocksucker, Butchy Boy?" Rox purred. "You're looking at the dick like it's dessert."

Now there was a question. That was something he hadn't done in a long, long time. For reasons.

"Eric?"

"Haven't in a while. Years, really."

"Ah. Gary."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to suck me?"

"Oh, fuck yes." Eric's mouth actually watered. He could almost taste it.

"Then there need to be ground rules." Rox stepped close and lightly dickslapped him. "If you're going to suck my dick, you're going to do it right."

Something inside of him relaxed at that. Trust Rox. It was okay. Fifteen minutes later, there was a pile of rejected flavored rubbers on one of the stairs.

"They all taste like cough medicine."

"You are a picky, butchy, bossy little brat."

"It's not my fault that most of the guys who invent these things have never had a dick in their mouth."

While Rox went to search for an acceptable alternative, Eric had plenty to keep him busy. The cross-piece for the nightstick was well up his ass being nicely unyielding to his prostate, bungee cords wrapped around his hips and thighs to keep it in place, with the indignity of dripping minty-fresh lube chilling down the back of his balls. He could hear Rox grumbling around the bedroom, then the kitchen.

"Damn it, you're such a mouthy brat, Eric. You need a dick in your mouth to cork you up."

"I'm a fucking trained chef, so I'm picky about what I put in my mouth!"

And maybe a little worried, too.

Rox stomped back into the stairwell with a packet of polyurethane rubbers and a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup. Fucking yum. Hot-eyed, hard-cocked, with motorcycle cop pants sliding down zir hips. Yes. Oh, fucking hell yes. However-

"That better not be Hershey's, goddammit. Fake-ass chocolate flavoring and HFCS doesn't fly with me, Officer Friendly."

"Fox's U-Bet - it's even Kosher for Passover and it's my last bottle, you twat." Rox tucked the bottle under zir arm, and opened the condom packet, rolling the rubber on over a squirt of lube. "Prima donna attitude. Mouthy fucking power bottoms-"

"Shut up and gimme the dick." Yes, pushing it, but it was like flying with the endorphin high from the bondage and tattooing singing in his blood. "You push that thing good, Officer Friendly."

"I'll give you the dick, boy. Squeeze that nightstick like the cock-hound bottom you are and I'll fuck that filthy mouth of yours instead of your ass." Eric's reply was forestalled by a mouthful of dick and chocolate, Rox's fingers tight in his hair and syrup bottle at the ready. "Be a good boy and I'll cut your cock cage to let you come on my boots. I saw you looking at them. Kinky, wicked, mouthy harlot."

Eric thought he was probably lit up like a slot machine hitting a jackpot. His worries disappeared in a flood of endorphins and lust.

"Suck me right, boy. You can take it deeper. Don't be lazy - throat me."

Lazy? LAZY? My ASS lazy. Take you to the root lazy. Suck you like your dick's a cherry popsicle lazy. Make you hold on to the bannister lazy. Lazy? Make you come like a fucking fountain lazy.

"Look at you, a butchy power bottom on his knees with a pair of bollocks on his chin." Ze tugged his hair, pulling him close until those nuts were indeed on his chin. "Open wide!"

Oh, yes. It was on! Hair pulling trash talking wet and messy blow job with the shot in the chocolate streaked rubber and Rox and fucking hell dammit Red and zir knives and his dick. Ze was going to give him a fucking vasectomy if he sneezed at an inopportune time one of these days. The blood rushed from Eric's head to his freed dick fast enough to make him dizzy.

"Cute little cocksucker, where's your gag reflex? You did such a good job that you get to shoot on my boots - which you can clean later." Rox nudged the leather shaft of the boot right against his cock and then dickslapped him again. "Fuck the leather. Hump yourself off."

"Evil fucker." He wasn't going to last long, his muscles quivering from tailbone to the root of his dick. "Goddamn it why do you use frosty minty lube I swear to fuck that my asshole's numb-" Good. So fucking good that a dry hump on black leather was a little juicier than expected. "You kept me off until you popped and now you w-want to fffuck watch-"

His hips hitched and this time Eric had to bow his back against the heated bliss firing in his brain and loins.

"Your asshole isn't going to be numb tomorrow, Pretty Man. You're not going to be sitting without a fond thought for me for a few days." Ze pulled his head up by the hair. "Faster. Fuck my boot faster, make a sticky mess all over it, you wicked harlot of a boy."

This time Eric groaned, clutching his thighs around Rox's leg and humping without shame, the crosspiece of the nightstick giving his prostate heaven and hell with each thrust.

"Fuckgoddamnityouevilbitchohhellyeshellyesrox-" It was an orgasm to take the top of his head off, to pull every muscle in his body into the same helpless motion. Rox anchored him, stopping the panic before it could root, bending and catching his mouth in a fierce kiss.

"Good boy. Good Eric. Oh, you sweetheart. See? There it is. There we go." Ze crooned, drawing zir booted leg back and wiping down the leather with a handful of Lysol wipes. "It's all right. See?"

Somehow he got his lungs working again, brain blank with shock as ze unbound him. The nightstick and binds when into buckets of hot, soapy water just beyond the door, and ze had to support him speechless and rubber-legged into the bathroom. The chocolate and lube and… contagion washed down the drain, leaving him clean and shaking. Ze tucked Eric into the red satin nest of zir bed, orange juice with a bit of ginger grated in putting his head back on straight.

"Okay?"

It might take a while to answer that. Instead Eric just opened his arms in appeal, and Rox slid under the covers and into them, kissing his chin, cheeks and lips.

"Sleep, Eric. Sleep, lovely lad. I'll be right here when you wake. Shh."

A last thought crossed his mind as Rox's "shh" sent him to sleep. Oh, God. Please don't let me fall in love. I'm so fucking awful at it.

Chapter 17

Summary:

Alan's heading into a one-week break from chemo therapy.

Chapter Text

Ronald had to laugh at his brother this morning. Whatever arrangement was going on between Rox and his brother, it had good results. Ronald was starting to see the Eric he remembered, not the silent and traumatized man getting off a bus at the Port Authority, or the loner and hermit that Eric became as he struggled to recover. Now his brother was singing in the kitchen to the Ramones 'Rockaway Beach.'

Whatever works, Ronald thought with a smile.

"Your chef's on a tear." A guy in a sweet-looking three-piece wool was picking up a large order, a car and driver waiting at the curb. "Here you go."

Ronald swiped the black Amex through. "He's getting creative in there. There's going to be some goodies Friday morning."

"Yeah, we're really familiar with the cookies where I work." The guy paused, fiddling with the pen before signing and adding a good tip. "I don't supposed you'd remember one guy, but his name's Alan-"

"Humphries. I do remember him, he's in here about two or three times a week. One of our favorite customers, actually."

"My name's Chip Winters, I work at Bridges, in legal. Is he… I know he's sick…"

"Oh. Yeah, well. I'd say he's as okay as it gets under the circumstances." Ronnie wanted to guard the man's privacy, seeing as Alan was about as hermity as his brother. "I'd pass along some good wishes if anyone wanted to send them. It's been rough."

"It's cancer? Leukemia is what I heard." He picked up the box of four dozen cookies.

"Yeah. It is." Ronnie put the receipt in the drawer. "He's doing all right, but it's cancer."

"He's really well-liked. Decent. Not a lot of guys on the street can say that. I'll let people know to drop off good wishes here?"

"I think he'd like that. Just make sure that there's nobody sick or anything like that. Chemo hits your immune system - you can't fight things off."

"I will, thanks."

The guy left, the driver opening the door for him, taking the cookies and placing them carefully in the passenger seat. The song changed and Eric boogied right along, the most delicious smells wafting out of the kitchen. Might as well go and see what the Full Metal Chef was cooking. Eric's cooking jams were always epic, and stepping into the back revealed that Eric was in Carnivale/Mardi Gras overdrive, with an array of gustatory hedonism just starting to be placed on the long steel tables.

Empanadas. FUCK YEAH.

"Hey, bro! Gimmie!" Ron walked in making grabby hands at the goodies. "Oh, wow! Is that a chocolate tres leches?"

"Fuck off, Beer Brat. I'm still making breakfast." Eric hefted his strudel dough rolling pin menacingly. "Or you'll be brewing with a concussion."

"Feed me, shithead. I want pancakes." Ronald could do bratty, too. "How's Rox?"

In answer turned and lifted his white t-shirt and showed Ron the new ink under dressings. "Ze was on fire, baby bro."

"Man." Ron leaned in. Those were some awesome butterflies - the detail was mindblowing. "Ze has a great touch. They're hardly seeping at all."

"Ze's like the Bernini of ink." Eric lowered the shirt, still glowing like a Klieg light. "Wait until you see the reactive script."

It was entirely possible that his brother was falling in love. "You and Rox-" Thunderous scowl from Eric. Alert! Forbidden territory ahead. Abort mission! "Shutting up now. Pancakes."

"Will pancakes keep you shut up?"

"Until lunch, then I want some of the shrimp empanadas."

"How about a swift kick in the ass instead?"

"Could you not murder each other until I get my larder stocked? I'm hungry!" Came a plaintive call from the front of the store. "Ronald, stop teasing your brother. Murder in the kitchen is against the health code, I'm sure."

"He's being a dick!" Eric bellowed.

"I'm a fast learner!" Ronald grinned, shouting right after Eric. "Want some pancakes, Alan?"

"Sure, I'd love some!"

Eric was reaching for his throat and Ron backed up with a grin while shooting Eric the finger.

"Be right there, Alan!" Ron called. Ooh. Eric was giving him the glare of death, and Ron turned and skipped down the hall to the front of the shop. It wasn't often when he could score one of his brother, and he smiled sunnily at Alan's reproachful look. "Pancakes will be ready in just a few."

"At this rate, you'll be ducking flung pies at the Shady Pines Rest Home." Alan was piling extra goodies on the counter as Ron took the loaded bags out of the cooler behind the counter. "Don't tell me he starts it, either. You're a horrendous tease."

"I know. He's just fun to poke." Cocking his head, Ron gave Alan a full looking over. "You look better - you're color's much better. How are you feeling?"

"Much better. And I've been able to kick one medicine, save the opiates for really bad days, and wean down the ativan." Setting the panniers on the counter, he continued, "Now I have an argument with my doctors tomorrow over the use of certain unauthorized medicine, then a week off chemotherapy entirely."

"How are your docs going to take that?" There was a sound of Eric starting up the Kitchenaid mixer down the hall, and the scent of bacon. Yes! "They could make trouble."

"Medical confidentiality. Don't worry, I'm not letting them on. If anything they'll think I'm getting it from a black market dispensary." Alan loaded the panniers as Ron rang him up. "I'm just looking forward to the week off."

"What are you going to do? You're going to like this - it's cake, and fruit, and pudding, and cream in a parfait." Ron tucked it in the bag and ahead of Alan's reaching hand. "Nope. You'll spoil your pancakes. Hey, there was a guy in here asking after you. He said he worked in legal. I told him you were doing pretty well, and he wanted to drop off some good wishes."

"I… I'm not the biggest social butterfly in the company. That's a little surprising." Alan rubbed the tip of his nose with a finger. "Wait. Italian suit? Buffed nails? Metrosexual hair?"

"More like a corporate with an up-brush." Ronald had a moment where he wondered why he was noticing the guy's hair. Fucking orientation issues. "Good suit. Italian, I think."

"I know him. Has a thing for Brioni. I prefer Kiton or Canali." He smiled. "Suits. Italian menswear. I fell in love with Italian suits when I was taking vacations in Italy."

The tune changed to the Ramones singing 'Beat on the Brat' and Eric cranked it. "He's all frisky this morning. Sorry."

"It's all right. I'm glad he's feeling good." And if Alan knew the reason for feeling good, he kept it to himself. "He wasn't really going to make pancakes, was he."

Ron found that from somewhere, he could still muster the grace to blush as he lifted the gate to let Alan in.

Breakfast with the brothers was a delightful thing, and Alan was quietly worshipful over peach pancakes with buttered pecan topping. The food preempted any peacock displays, though Alan noted in Eric the aftermath of a very good night - no doubt with Rox Sharp. The pancakes were perfectly fluffy with diced peaches evenly throughout, and Eric quizzed him relentlessly about Italy.

Especially seasonings.

"I was a kid when we were there." Ronald said, dumping more bacon onto his plate.

"Yeah, but you were really little Ronnie. Four or five, maybe." Eric flipped more bacon onto their plates. "Naples, then Bologna."

"Lots of spaghetti, that's what I remember."

"Amalfi Coast, Lake Como, wherever there's water. I love to swim." Alan smiled, the memories sweet, but when or if he could go back nobody would say. "I've put them on my bucket list."

Shit. He nearly bit his tongue off in chagrin, but while Ronald looked shocked Eric only nodded. "Yeah. There's a few places on mine, too."

Alan swallowed, then breathed a little in relief. Of course Eric would have a bucket list, too. "Where do you want to go?"

"Amsterdam. Paris. London. I really loved Seattle, too. And there's Hawaii - Kauai." Eric reached out and shook his brother's shoulder. "Not going anywhere yet, Beer Brat."

"I know. Just - I don't like to think about it." Ronald sighed. "Death shouldn't win."

"It's not winning or losing, Ronald." Alan patted the young man's shoulder. "Now, getting to the botanical gardens on Tuesday… that might as well be on my bucket list."

Eric grinned. "Breaking out?"

"Hardly. I'm being chaperoned." Alan sighed. "I sound like a brat. My chemotherapy nurse thinks I'm not ready to solo yet."

"The one with the driver husband?" Ronald asked. "He's become a regular for dinners. He asked if we did kid food."

"Yeah, that's Carmine. He's Andrea's better half. She's a tyrant, but she loved the red velvet cake pops."

Eric, however, had his mind elsewhere - looking off into the middle distance. "I can do kid food. Kids would love my food."

Alan knew that look - it was the look of someone about to have a brilliantly misguided idea. Risk management time. "Everyone who knows anything about children via significant actual and extensive exposure to children raise your hands." No takers. Now to change the subject. "I was hoping to provision for the trip, though. Stuff for energy and maybe a picnic." Andrea was sacrificing a day off. The least he could do was bring goodies. "And cookies."

Eric eyerolled. "You and the sweets. I bet the first thing you did when you were eighteen was eat ice cream for breakfast."

Actually, the first thing he did at eighteen was figure out how not to freeze to death after being thrown out on his ass in the middle of January. "Wrong. Little Debbie Swiss Rolls and hot chocolate. It was too cold for ice cream."

There ensued a surreal discussion about the merits of Little Debbies versus Drakes Cakes, TastyKakes, or Ronald's 'I don't think you've ever heard of them' favorite, Dolley Madisons. Eric declared them both idiots and offered to make them some ramen noodle and Velveeta mac and "orange salty crap that they can't call cheese."

"It's retro food, Eric!"

"It's crap!" Eric hooked a thumb at Alan. "Other than mass-produced snack cakes, this guy knows his shit." A pause and a gleam in those very mischievous blue-green eyes. "Except about salt and fennel."

Oh-ho. Frisky Chef wanted to play? Alan grinned. It was like using a laser pointer to tease a cat. "The classic presentation of bouillabaisse-"

"Is the presentation of the authentic Marseille dish, not the fish-water 'classic' tourist version-"

There were good points to arguing with Hot Butch Honey. It was like mixing porn with the Food Network and the Travel Channel. One of the best points was that there was going to be a tub of bouillabaisse broth, fish and shellfish, plus the classic rouille and bread awaiting him on Friday. Eric was on the phone as he left ordering the fish and seafood. There was more than likely enough fennel in stock.

At home, he went through his emails, and was rather surprised at the volume of interdepartmental emails in his box. And then he saw that they were all good wishes. Get well soon cards, memes, LOLcats, cute animal videos. People were saying they missed him, and... and he didn't have any facial tissue.

"Need to order that."

Alan sacrificed one of his pocket squares, wiping up the tears and blowing his nose. For a long time, he sat and reread the notes, saving them one by one to a new folder on his desktop. They missed him. They thought about him. They didn't want to intrude. They hoped he was getting well. They hoped he'd come back to the offices soon. They had advice, admonishments, and more cute animals videos than he could watch in a week. Then he set up the webcam, put on his knit cap, and started the video.

"Hi, everyone. That was… it was just a lovely surprise and I can't thank you all enough. I'm in treatment, and I'm doing well. Thank you for thinking of me, it means so very much.

Thank you. And Chip, watch out for those cookies if you're not keeping up with your racquetball, all right?" He paused. "It's been rough. And I miss you all, seeing and talking with you every day. I just want you to know that. Good night, and everyone have a good weekend."

It wasn't something he'd thought about. You didn't appreciate the everyday things in life until you faced the prospect of losing them. He uploaded the video to his YouTube account and then sent the link to everyone - all 115 accounts who'd sent him notes. Then he opened up his files, settled back on the couch with his laptop and began to prepare is recommendations into the latest prospective acquisitions. Alan put his headset on, opened Mindmap, and got to work.

Case one: Sometimes very stupid people have a lot of money, very little sense.

"It is not my job to save people from the consequences of their own stupidity and greed." Alan dictated, talk converted to text. "They dove into this one against the best advice we had to offer, so let them take the bath they signed up for. The bailout's an insult and the C-levels would piss it away on their own salaries. I'm putting in a 'Hell no' on this one. I'll provide alternative purchasers, but these tools need to be out of a job. Report attached."

Case two: When cooking the books at least spend the money on someone who is capable of producing well-cooked books.

"They have massive liability in the form of two highly toxic properties they're trying to unload before the EPA comes after them It's been the same shell game since I was about six. They're running out of shells to hide the toxic pea under. Whoever ends up holding the bag on this one may be in bad shape depending on the outcome of Estate of John Ray Wheeler alias Monongahela Salvage v. EPA. Not recommended. Full report follows."

Case three: He hadn't seen such blatant bullshittery since his undergraduate Modern Lit paper on Ayn Rand.

"And they are in violation of the FCPA. 'Cost of doing business' and 'related expenses' my ass."

It was odd, he was working about as much as he did at the office, but in less contiguous blocks of time. There were times he had to put the laptop aside and sleep, and other times he'd be busy in the middle of the night, working and wondering if he was the only person awake in the financial district.

He fielded phone calls from his superiors and in addition to his regular Thursday meetings, he was chided for making people sniffly. Everyone was concerned. You need to eat more. Darleen in accounting is going to knit a sweater for you. People knew about the place on Pearl Street now - thanks to Chip, the cookies, and the inability of anyone in legal to keep their mouths shut about anything until paid to do so.

"And after tomorrow, I have a week free from chemo and the other drugs. Apparently they want to see what my bounce looks like." Alan sipped cautiously at a cayenne-spiked lemonade of Eric's invention and almost smacked his lips. It was just tart enough and had enough of a kick to make his eyelids sweat. "After I recuperate, I'm taking a few days to go places that are not the hospital."

Well, make that one place and see how it goes, but he wasn't going to say that. He still had some dignity, here. He signed off with everyone's good wishes, and then just lay back on the couch and stared at the tin-tiled ceiling for a while. He was dreading tomorrow, and he was dreading intensification. Andrea had been honest with him about that first day of phase two, and had promised to stay with him for the intrathecal.

The very idea of a spinal made him want to throw up. The one he'd had in the emergency room had been so much more than enough.

"Okay, Alan?" He addressed himself, "Go over your presentation for tomorrow, do some yoga, then eat and go to bed." He didn't need to wind himself up.

Setting up the laptop, Alan went through the medical cannabis presentation, looked over the hand-out folders, and brought it in at ten minutes. That would leave enough time for the arguments… hm… question and answer period. Packing up the laptop, he left it on charge and put his things in order for tomorrow. Snacks and juices, a bottle of water, and a small bottle of trace mineral drops - it had reduced his cravings for salt, too - slippers, Kindle. After a moment of hesitation, he added his chemo shirt, a flannel shirt, and his comfortable jeans. If he had to bring out the high caliber ammunition, he might as well look the part.

"Full battle dress." He selected a Kiton suit in light grey wool, Bruno Cucinelli tie and pocket square, Harry's of London black wingtips, Moreschi belt, and a French-cuffed Finamore light blue dress shirt. "But what to do about the head?"

Alan considered this in the mirror. The fade was holding, and he looked ridiculous in a hat - of which he didn't own any. Maybe he ought to invest.

"Then again, considering where else you're losing hair, I wouldn't have such a pity parade about the stuff on your head." Losing one's pubic hair was disconcerting, and a little embarrassing - even if nobody else knew. He quickly tried on the suit, pleased that enough weight had come back that the clothing didn't hang on him. "Okay. Even for a cancer patient, I look good."

And in the morning, he needed every advantage he could get. To say his team was not on board with this was understating the case, but damn it to hell he was going to turn them around or pitch them fucking well overboard.

In the morning he entered the room, set up his laptop, and started the second the last of his team was seated. Research. Evidence. Science. Twenty thousand extant papers about the efficacy of C. indica, C. ruderalis, C. Sativa, and their native cannabinoids in various clinical settings and there's no research? Alan hit them with everything he could about the body of research on the drugs they were giving him.

"Six hundred extant papers on oxycontin." Alan let his voice drip icicles as he went through the drugs and proposed drugs they'd given him. He slapped the folder down on the desk. "I am out of patience with the lot of you. You asked for evidence, and facts, and science, and there it is. It's on the internet, freely available to medical professionals and researching scientists such as yourselves. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going 'LALALALA!' is not going to cut it with me. If I can do my homework on this - and regain five pounds - then so can you. I expect better."

Alan was aware that he was standing beside his chair, and had just read off a whole table of physicians. Did he care? He checked. No, not a bit.

"If you have legitimate, quantifiable concerns, then I expect whats, wheres, whens, hows, and whys. Not to be a human beta test, and not to be kept in the dark." He let his voice sharpen. "Most of all, I do not expect you to look like a class of undergrads who have figured out that they're going to have to work. I was a TA, ladies and gentlemen, and I know the look. Do better. Next order of business?"

Alan sat down and composed himself. The suit had been the right call.

"It's still illegal," Dr. Chowdree said. "It's a street drug-"

"I obtain the substance from a highly reliable botanical geneticist, who is well versed in the medicinal properties his products." Eric needed a doctorate - that notebook of research and Eric's own notes were a few steps, duct tape, and a thesaurus from being his dissertation. "I have the utmost confidence in the science."

"From black market dispensary, Dr. Humphries?" Dr. Millard sniffed.

"Five pounds, good sleep, reduced pain, reduced nausea, and less gastrointestinal distress without the side effects and risk of addition presented and documented by ativan and the vicodin." Alan rebutted. "Let's not mention the oxycontin, or the side effects of the antidepressants you were ready to shovel at me. I'm willing to be the beta test on this one; informed consent has always been a biggie with me." Zing. "I don't like being an aftermarket statistic, especially when it involves surprise catheters."

"I would be interested, Dr. Humphries, in measuring your C-reactive protein, erythrocyte sedimentation rate, and plasma viscosity to map any reduction in the inflammation." Dr. Kelsy, his rheumatologist, spoke quietly as she pushed her glasses up. "The effects you're describing need to be validated by the numbers. If there's a significant reduction in your C-reactive and ESR, I'll back it."

Sometimes, all you needed was just one. He couldn't say that everyone was aboard with this, but first Dr. Kelsy, then Dr. Oh, then Dr. Chowdree were enough to hammer the others if not into compliance, then into shutting up and going along. Then they all shook hands and smiled while thinking in four letter words, and everyone was happy. Alan felt as if he'd swum twenty laps, but by God he'd won this one.

He went to the chemotherapy floor, feeling lighter of mind and heart than he had in a while. Only to get razzed for his suit by Andrea.

"Fancy, fancy, fancy, Alan." Andrea mock-fanned herself. "Carmine said you were sporting drop-dead threads today, but I had no idea."

"I paid him in cookies and pudding cups to keep quiet." The Peacock Brothers were rubbing off on him. Alan put a bit of a preen and strut in it. "A good suit is to men what lingerie is to women - it only serves its purpose if it ends up on the bedroom floor."

Andrea cracked up, having to sit in the chemo chair until she got it under control. "You are terrible. I like it."

"I told you that you were a gay guy in a girl suit." Alan took off his cufflinks, tie and tie tack. "I brought my chemo wear. Just let me get changed."

"All right. I'll come back in a few minutes, Mr. Hot Stuff." She pulled him down to kiss his forehead. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

He hugged her hard. "Couldn't do it without you, Didi."

"You are one of two people on earth who gets to call me that." She hugged him back. "Get changed, I have to print out new marching orders."

"Okay. And I brought you some goodies, too." The scrambled egg in sippy cup did him in. He brought her a real breakfast. "Scoot. I'll be all settled in when you get back."

Andrea scooted, and Alan got undressed, emptied his briefcase and folded the suit, shirt, and accessories into it. The shoes went into their felt bag in his backpack, and the slippers came out. He left the silk boxers and socks on, then changed into his chemo clothing and settled into the chair. He'd eat the brownie before she started his infusion.

Andrea came back in. "New marching orders from Dr. C, Alan. He's lightened up on the ativan, due to a 'new medication.' I take it you won?"

"I at least hammered them into going along." Alan sat up for the usual exam. "Dr. Kelsy was interested enough to say so."

"She's really new, but I hear good things about her." Andrea palped his arm and shoulder, looking for infection, tenderness and swelling. "Excited for next week?"

"So much! I just want to go out and do things." That it was complicated by the dread of intensification he left unsaid. "Even if it's just spending a beautiful spring day in a garden."

Andrea chuckled, smiling behind her mask. "You have the zoomies."

"I do not. I have cabin fever." He lay back as Andrea prepped his portacath for the blood draw. It was embarrassing, but he still was not good with needles. "It's been a month of not going or doing. I miss it."

"What time do you want me to pick you up on Tuesday?" Andrea asked as Alan closed his eyes. He knew it was not possible, but he could feel the portacath in his body as his bloods were being taken and it hit him funny sometimes. "I was thinking about nine."

"I was, too. I really want to go do something before it starts again." The thought of a spinal tap with chemo going into him made him put his head down and try not to shake. "Sorry."

"It's all right, Alan. I know it's scary." She put his port right, covered it, then hugged him gently. "I've arranged with Dr. Chowdree to be with you all the way through."

"So I'm only going to think about the gardens. We're going to have a great day." Alan said firmly. "And I'm picking up goodies from Pearl Street."

"They've been taking good care of you." Andrea racked the little tubes of blood. "Carmine brings dinner from there at least twice a week."

"And I brought you breakfast!" Alan reached down and pulled up the backpack. "Buckwheat and peach pancakes, scrambled eggs with spinach, walnuts, and goat cheese, plus bacon."

Andrea literally squealed. "Why can't a girl have two husbands?"

William had to wait for General Affairs to send Maintenance to repair his office, then had to go to Cordelia and apologise. She was not jealous, that was mortal silliness, but she was enraged with him on Grell's behalf and had made her points with exceptional force. It was also indisputable that he had left her with incomplete information by not informing her of the exact nature of Eric Slingby's and and Alan Humphries' deaths. The worst part is that she did have very salient points, and William felt like a pincushion and punching bag by the time she slammed the door.

The London Dispatch was quiet, with the staff walking very softly past the Dispatch Manager's office. Cordelia's Reapers toed the mark, stood straight, and listened sharp - despite being disorderly, rowdy, and libidinous off duty. In every way, they were exemplary Reapers. William gave three precisely-timed knocks and let himself in - against all the frantic, silent advice of the Dispatch staff shaking their heads and making frantic cutting motions with their hands.

"I provided you with facts, but not with vital details that included the involvement of the demon known as Sebastian, and your late husband, as well as Grell's role and my own in the undesirable outcome." One had to get out of the gate fast, or Cordelia would ride right over you. "I also admit to my own ineffectuality in attempting to rectify the situation with Grell, and I am not an arsebackwards and thudfingered idiot, and despite the outcome of a truly horrific misjudgment on which no actual malice was consciously predicated."

Cordelia rubbed a spot above her right eyebrow, giving him one of her particular looks. Will reached out and offered an awkward rub.

"You are still an idiot." But she took off her glasses and leaned into the rub. "Do you know what it takes to be angry with you?"

"You should have told me you wished to see Grell. There was no need to sneak into my ledger." The Dowager Duchess Phantomhive bore tremendous but unexpected loyalty to Grell for saving the family from disgrace, and for saving her life as she lay dying. "I understand some things, you know."

Cordelia sighed. "It's complicated, Will. There's so much between Grell and myself."

Angelina Dalles, the Campania Incident, Grell's persistent involvement with that demon butler, and the inexplicable decision to make Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Middleford into a Reaper.

Not that he could or should complain.

"Should I visit Grell again?" Will asked. "To make things clearer."

"Dearest darling, ze intends to tear your heart out and eat it. I would let things settle somewhat."

"That is a figure of speech."

"Are you sure about that?"

"... with Grell it is perhaps more prudent to assume the bloodiest interpretation possible."

"I told Rox that I wanted zir to come home."

William let that sink in. "That, in light of Grell's previous exile, and his… her desire to eat my heart, would be exceedingly unwise."

"I am Dispatch Manager. I have sole discretion over my Reapers." Cordelia put her foot down to Administration as hard as he ever had. Meddling with the Dispatch managers was a good way to spend time regrowing body parts and vital organs. "Ze turned me down. At the moment ze feels too much responsibility toward the reincarnates, one of which is her current lover. As he was before, which you forgot to mention."

"I… am behind modern times perhaps. What is this pronoun?"

"You are one hundred and twenty-five years my senior - cradle robber."

"You were not in a cradle when I met you. As I remember, you were sticking me with a sword." And Will remembered it quite well; his first meeting taught him to never get between Cordelia and her intended target. "It was quite rude, sticking first and asking questions later. Hasty. Not to mention unsubtle and indiscreet."

"Shut up and rub, William."

William shut up and rubbed. His question would be answered in sideways fashion, some time later, no doubt. It was awkward, ungraceful, and perhaps hazardous to his person, but William did want Cordelia to return to his residence with him. Sleep was so much more pleasant when there was someone warm in bed.

"The shift is over, will you not put on your coat?" he asked.

Cordelia looked at him over the top of her glasses, amused. "William."

"I am attempting to remedy the serial situations in which I have not expressed myself adequately or clearly as to-"

Some kisses needed to come with a warning.

And there was no need to crumple his tie.

Chapter 18

Summary:

Good stews are simple in presentation, but can be highly complex - and sometimes a little more complicated than they seem.

Alan was muzzy enough that Andrea accompanied him down to the lobby and handed him over to Carmine. The brownie dosed with high-CBD cannabis kicked in some time after the benadryl and when he woke up there were a lot less in the way of warning signals that the post-chemo misery was incoming. Still, he ended up sleeping again on the way downtown, awaking only when he remembered bouillabaisse - that was today!

Only the Frisky Chef could take his mind off chemo.

"Carmine? I need to stop by Pearl Street. My bouillabaisse!" Alan wrestled himself upright and blinked. They were at Houston and traffic was packed. "I finally got Chef Hotshot to put his court bouillon where his big mouth is."

Carmine laughed and lowered the partition. "You've met the guy? I've met the steampunky club kid - Ron."

"That's his little brother."

"I want to pick up dinner, so I'll come in with you. Are you going to be okay to eat?"

Alan assessed himself. "I think I am. I'll see how I feel in a couple of hours. But I am not giving up on the bouillabaisse."

"Got your pops?"

Carmine avoided calling them Preggo Pops for the sake of Alan's dignity, but Alan's dignity would be far more offended by getting car-sick. He held up the little Altoids tin and rattled it. "All is well. What are you thinking of for dinner?"

"Didi wants some of the white seafood lasagne and a loaf of their olive oil ciabatta, but it's a little advanced for the kids." Carmine sighed. "They're in the 'cut the crusts off the bread' stage and 'I want spaghetti' stages. Oh, and Cheerios. We're going nuts trying to to get them to eat nutritious stuff."

"He does good food, but you're right about the kids. When I was little I was the same way, and I didn't suffer from malnutrition. Do they still make Flintstone's vitamins? That was my mom's go-to." Alan pushed himself up in the seat. Still no nausea, just the usual 'coming down with something' feeling. "Or is it Sponge Bob vitamins?"

"Flintstones. We're old school." Carmine craned his neck. "Parking fucking sucks right now. Want me to run in and grab the goodies?"

"Reverse order. Run it around the block and I'll run in." Alan tucked his wallet into his hip pocket, looking with dismay at the mini traffic jam around Pearl Street. "It's no longer a best kept secret."

"Partially my fault, I bring some of my clients by here. The food's so good."

"Mine, too. I used to bring cookie plates every Friday - and someone missed that enough to track down the cookies. Here I go!" He was out of the back seat and squeezing between a double-parked Caddy and a Beemer with a single digit salute for the horns, then on the sidewalk and in the door. "Ronald, you're a bona fide Financial District thing. Sorry I'm late."

Ronald opened the gate and ushered Alan through, pausing in handing out brown paper Pearl Street Kitchen bags stuffed to the handles with comestibles. "Yeah, this is rush hour for us. All those dinners going out. Your driver called one in and Eric's got your bouillabaisse in the back."

"Can Carmine pull in around back? They're parking out there like they're auditioning for a new Mad Max movie."

"Sure, I've got that order in the back anyway. Go on in - Eric's been hovering over that bouillabaisse like it holds the secrets of the universe."

The kitchen was a flurry with just one person in it, and Alan scooted to the side into the safety of the alcove. Pulling out his phone, he called Carmine.

"Pull into the alley around the back. Your dinner's ready to go."

Eric marked brown bags with a Sharpie, set one marked 'Capello' next to one marked 'Humphries' then bellowed, "Last batch, Ronnie!"

"Eric, we're out of everything!"

"Close it up, then!" Eric bellowed again in a voice that likely carried to South Street.

Alan took advantage of the maelstrom to look at the tab on the Capello's bag and hang a fifty on it, then open the top of his bag and take a look. He'd wait until tomorrow to eat it. Just in case. What was in the Tupperware tub at the bottom? Alan had one guess, and it started with

'b' and ended with Eric Slingby, Hot Butch Honey Chef.

He raised an eyebrow at Eric - who simply gave him a cocky grin and twirled a spatula between his fingers. "Dessert's a local specialty."

Eric couldn't say exactly why he did it. Jerking chains and mouthing off just came naturally. Mr. Twinkie looked a little pale and tired, but a bit of Eric Slingby's Authentic Homemade Smartassery perked him right up.

"They've helped a great deal. Thank you." Humphries said, pausing then continuing. "Now, you normally do better than that jerking my chain, you big butch flirt."

Was that a return flirt? That was a return flirt. Eric grinned and gave a bit of a strut as he loaded the bagged dinners to go on the cart. "Yeah, you're feeling pretty good - all feisty."

"Why is it smaller people are always termed as feisty?" Humphries huffed, a twitch of the lips indicating amusement. "We can be just as hubristic as, say, highly skilled hotshot chefs built like their Viking ranges."

Eric preened, gratified his guess that Humphries flirted by argument was correct - and a little by the compliments, too. "I didn't know you were checking out my range."

There was an exchange of horns from the alley followed by. "Scoot it in, cutie. There's a cake in there with my name on it!"

"Blow me kisses all you want, Red - this is my spot!"

He and Humphries looked at each other. "Oh, Lord." "Oh, Lord."

"My driver, Carmine Capello."

"My tattooist, Rox Sharp."

Ronald spoke behind both of them. "My glee. Do it for the Vine, fellas."

Eric shoved the cart at Ronald, forcing him to juggle his phone. "Out, Beer Brat. Give those hungry people their food and then close it up."

"But-"

"OUT."

Ronald outed.

"Rox Sharp, tall tattoo artist, gives to queer youth and HIV-related charities, seriously avant garde with a car collection?" Humphries asked.

Eric nodded. "Tall Italian redheaded livery driver with two fussy kids and a wife who loves the white lasagna?"

"Exactly - his wife is also my chemotherapy nurse."

And then there was a whole lot of long, tall, and red with shoulders to make him unf in his kitchen. Even Humphries was a little round eyed. Rox in red ballet flats was maybe a half-inch shorter than Capello, and flipping zir long red braid.

Eric raised his hands. "Ronnie said that Capello could park there, because he's driving Humphries who is picking up his classic and correctly seasoned bouillabaisse, and dinner for his own family."

You had to get the first word in when the braid flipping started, or ze would go all night.

"Here I thought you'd started curating a collection of redheads." Rox sniffed. "Who's Mr. Long and Lean? Make some introductions, Eric."

"Bossing my ass around in my own kitchen. Behave or no cake for you." He'd pay for that later - hopefully - but his kitchen was his kitchen. "Right, Rox Sharp meet Carmine Capello, who drives for that guy over there - Alan Humphries. Capello, I'm Eric Slingby - I own and operate this nuthouse. Your white lasagna's ready and I did kid food. Humphries, this is Rox Sharp - my tattoo artist. Capello, that hipster dork over there is my brother Ronnie Knox who makes killer beer. Everyone out, Ronnie?"

"Yeah, and the cases are cleaned out. Man, what a rush hour!" It was just so cute how Ronnie would get all chirpy around Rox - little bro was sorting out his orientation issues pretty well. "There's a shitload of orders for Monday dinners, I have them on the iPad."

Eric took it and looked it over, then whistled as he added up the raw materials in his head. "I'll get the orders done tonight. Might have to make a few trips in the Snot Rocket."

"I can't go. Have a date." Ronnie preened. "Stacy's in town."

"I thought you were going to Monica's." That boy and his dick. "And what about that girl from Velvet who was blowing up your phone?"

"She dumped me. I'm soothing my wounds." He looked at Eric with big puppy-dog eyes. "That new cheesecake in the fridge upstairs would be such a comfort."

Eric sighed - he was such a fucking pushover. "Go. Put the cake in a box and the box in a cooler bag."

Ronnie shot up the stairs like a bottle rocket, leaving Eric in the kitchen with two long-stemmed redheads and a short-stemmed brunet. At another time, under other circumstances, Eric would have just called it a three-course tasting menu - because wedding band or not, Carmine Capello was pinging his gaydar and he might be pinging Capello's. Or maybe he was just getting a thing for redheads.

Rox was chatting enthusiastically with Humphries, very touchy with the fingers though, and Eric turned his attention to Capello. Capello flicked his gaze to Humphries, then raised an eyebrow at Eric. What? No way. Eric raised both of his in return and flicked his gaze to Rox. Capello considered that, then flicked his gaze again to Humphries and again back to Eric, this time with a more questioning expression. Eric shrugged uncomfortably. Even if the attraction was there, it was complicated by a lot of different factors. Time to change the subject. Eric checked Capello out, glancing at the wedding band. Capello gave a one-shouldered shrug and tapped his phone with the ring finger. Ah. Someone had to let him off the leash. Yes. Eric let his gaze slide to Rox, and gave back the same one-shouldered shrug. Capello smiled, a real one, and nodded. Loud and clear.

"Let me know what the kids think of the kid food." He slid the bag over to Capello. "My baby bro was picky as hell when he was in grade school."

"I will for sure. We're just trying to keep them from rickets and scurvy at this point."

"I survived on my mom's grilled cheese sandwiches, Campbell's tomato soup, Fritos, Captain Crunch, and Flintstone's vitamins until I was old enough to cook. They'll be fine."

"What do I owe?" Capello reached for his wallet as Eric shook his head.

"Kid food's free because it's an experiment, and Humphries snagged the tab before you came in."

It was almost overwhelming. Zir lads. Zir lads were all here. It was a joy like sunlight and a pain like a scythe in the guts. Ronald was bouncing around like a gangly puppy. Eric was trading speaking looks with the lanky Italian redhead - that boy and his prick. And Alan. Rox removed zir gloves to shake his hand, knowing that William would have a flappy fit over it. If a Reaper's touch could stave off the Shadow or turn it away entirely, Rox was all for it.

"So pleased to meet you, Mr. Humphries." It was eerie the way this Alan's hands felt the same as zir Alan's hands. "I've seen you at some of the Safe Spaces functions."

"How do you do? I remember the candy-apple red '62 Corvette you donated to last year's fundraiser. Two of my bosses didn't speak to each other for a week when one outbid the other."

"That was you who brought the big dollar bidders?" Ze left a lipstick mark on his cheek. "That's for bringing the deep pockets."

He was wide-eyed, but this was Alan - always a little startled with people.

"All I had to do was dangle that car. That was the star of the show."

"And you know Eric and Ronnie well enough to have parking privileges. I am fascinated." Rox was not going to let on that she'd seen him passed out in one of the recliners. Ze walked zir fingers up his arm. "Eric's been hiding you."

He still had a lovely blush, stammering and disclaiming. "I've been… um… that is… Ronald and Eric are very good friends…"

Eric paused in his silent flirtation with the Italian cutie, who was making speculative glances between Eric and Alan, and arched an eyebrow at zir. Ze did have a thing for men who could Spock. Rox arched zir eyebrow right back and grinned. Eric was gearing up for a strop, and that was a good thing.

"Behave, you." Zir Pretty Man grumped.

"But I'm so bad at it." Rox purred back. "Alan, you have to assert yourself with this one or he rolls right over you."

"He loves to argue, too." Alan affirmed, looking as if he might be getting a little of his own back.

"Pot to kettle, Mr. Wall Street Guy." Eric crossed his arms and shot one hip. Ze would have to have him pose naked like that - it was a good look.

"He's a terrible tease, Mx. Sharp. Possibly one of the best chefs in Lower Manhattan, though." Alan hefted his bag and Capello watched the interplay. "Mr. Slingby, thank you for the traditionally prepared bouillabaisse. I shall have your feedback shortly."

"All right." Eric seemed to be parsing Alan again, communicating on another spectrum above everyone else, and Alan picked up on it.

"I'm fine. The new medicine has helped immeasurably. I look forward to a lovely feast and revisiting some fond memories." Alan smiled and it was as sweet and kind as spring. "No need to worry."

How many times had ze heard that before.

Eric gave a too-casual shrug. "Might be better the second day. Lets the flavors blend." Alan gave Eric the 'I know what you're doing look' over the rims of his glasses and Eric returned it with a cocky grin. "The fennel is much more subtle that way."

"Hm. Subtle you say." The tone was deadpan, but Alan was trying not to smile.

Rox watched them banter and flirt, feeling as if ze could close zir eyes and ze'd be back in the Dispatch with zir juniors once more. It was amusing that Eric and Alan fell so easily into their mating dances. Oh, ze didn't want to give Eric up - he was loving and affectionate… and mortal.

Oh, dear.

That, again.

Alan made his farewells, as did the hunky driver - was Alan hitting that? He'd been flirting a mile a minute with Eric, with a wedding band on his ring finger, too. Maybe Eric was getting a thing for tall, sexually versatile redheads with shoulders. There would be interrogation this evening.

"Look at you, you flirty thing. All aglow." Rox pursed zir lips and looked him over. A month in zir care had worked wonders. "Goodness, you looked positively hungry."

Eric blushed. Right on target. "Shut up."

Rox advanced, stalking gracefully. "I believe you called it "test driving" - right?"

"No cake for you."

"Your ears are just scarlet, Pretty Man." Hooking zir fingers in the front of his trousers, ze reeled him in. "Tell Boss Rox your naughty thoughts."

"Tasting menu. I was thinking tasting menu." The poor dear facepalmed, the ears deepening to a shade just short of aubergine.

"Mmm. You are so missish for a pervert. It's quite the thrill." Rox insinuated zir fingers into the waistband of his underthings. "You can't bang everyone, dearest. It takes practice - you have to work up to it."

"Hey! I am not going to-"

Ze kissed him before he could say something stupid. Oh, the stroppy thing kissed zir silly while giving a sharp smack to zir ass in a way that made her squirm happily. "Bossy, butchy brat. Is Ronald out for the night?"

"In a few. He's getting changed and raiding the fridge." Eric did not let go of zir rear end, nuzzling and nibbling at zir ear. "He's got a hot date that requires cheesecake."

Oh, my. The Pretty Man was trying to seduce zir, kissing so sweetly. "You stroppy thing. You just want to get in my knickers."

"Or get you out of them-"

"You've locked down my toy." Ze did love cutting the silicone cage off, though.

"You're a boner hazard, Red. I'm making an innocent Béarnaise and bam - boner! It's like puberty again."

Rox laughed, pushing zir leg between his. "I think you're just making up for lost time. You've been celibate for so long."

He wrapped his arms around zir. "It's like everything's waking up again. I can't tell you what it's like. Like being dead and coming back to life, maybe."

Would zir kisses and zir touch add years to Eric's life, or could they hold back the sickness enough to matter? Oh, bloody hell, ze was falling in love with him and ze was so awful at it.

He broke the kiss and nuzzled zir ear, giving a playful tug on zir earring with his teeth before asking, "Come upstairs?"

Eric's voice held a hint of a deep burr, and Rox felt zirself go a little weak in the knees. It wasn't fair that certain men just put zir brains right down into zir knickers. "You are sometimes a very bad man."

"I hope so." Then he had the nerve to kiss that spot on zir neck that made zir breath catch and her heart do flips. "Come upstairs with me?"

Oh, hell. Nuzzly. Kissy. Sweet as sugar and twice as horny. How long since ze had bottom time? Too long. "Yes."

Ronnie was singing in the shower as they crept past the bathroom door and down the hallway to Eric's room. Brain in zir knickers. Right. And as soon as the door shut behind them, neither of them could get their clothing off fast enough. It was hard to retain one's dignity when one tripped getting out of one's own pants and knocked one's lover onto his bed. It was even harder to care about one's dignity when one's lover wrapped his arms around one and kissed one until one's IQ dropped ten points.

It made zir feel young again. Young and giddy, foolish and randy, believing that love-

Oh, no. Not again.

Rox broke the kiss and remembered to breathe. "Eric, are you in love with me?"

It took him a moment to engage the upstairs brain and his eyes widened. "Why - are you in love with me?"

"No. Absolutely not." Oh, what a lie.

"Good. Me neither." He lied right back.

"Okay." One should keep the lies mutual, after all.

"All right." And the kiss made further liars of them both.

Rox broke the kiss again. "Rubbers. Now. Gimme."

"You don't have any?"

"I came for cake - not for nookie, cookie."

Eric started to get up, then paused. "Ronnie's still in the bathroom. What- No, wait. I've got it."

Rolling out of bed, Eric kicked his trousers in the general direction of the hamper and took an Altoids tin from the top of his dresser.

"Breath mints? Hand it over." Ze held out a hand and he gave her the tin. "What kind of mischief-" Inside zie found breath mints, but also two little pillow packs of lubricant and two condoms. "You wicked little hedonist. This was in your pocket the night I brought you home. It's a booty call kit."

"Ronnie's idea." It was so amusing to make Eric blush.

"Yes, but who taught him? This is a big-brotherish thing to do." Waggling the box, Rox laughed. "Come here, Pretty Man. Let me get that thing off you. I want you very badly."

That was no lie. Eric being both sweet and rammish promised a very good time. It was with amusement that ze noted how he held his breath as she dispatched the silicone cage. Really, ze would have to come up with a more durable alternative if ze didn't want to keep denting his wallet with destroying the things.

"Red, you're murdering my bank balance - I've had to start buying them wholesale in New Jersey." It was difficult for Eric to stay grumpy when he hardened that fast. Ze gave him a stroke that tipped his head back and made his hips flex.

"You were saying?"

"Dunno. More."

Ze tore the wrapper open with zir teeth, and unrolled the lubricated nitrile over the rosy head of his prick and down the shaft. "Hedonist. Harlot. I love your repressed urges darling, especially when I'm face down and you're riding me as if I have 'Six Flags' stamped on my arse."

"It's a pretty ass. Cute, even."

The nerve! Ze smacked his thigh. "You impertinent bastard, everything about me is ravishing, stunning, and flamboyant - I don't do cute."

Oh, that was an Evil Eric smile if Rox ever saw one.

"Cuuuute." The big lummox cooed, crawling onto the bed and lying atop zir. "Like when your freckles get really bright when you're going to-" He laughed and nuzzled zir when ze pummeled his ass. "-come. You bite your lip when you're getting ready to come, and just before you do your freckles look like little bits of rose petals or paprika-"

"Bastard. Teasing wretch." Those muscles. That arse. Wrapping zirself around him ze exerted a little more strength to flip them both - but carefully, as mortals were delicate. "I want a fucking, Eric."

"Gimme the Altoids box." He rubbed his hands up zir thighs and hips.

"You taste fine, Pretty Man. I like the places your mouth has been." Ze settled down on him, grateful for the results of a fresh sugar wax even if the application and removal made zir howl. "I like the way you use your mouth, too. Verrry talented cocksucker, you are."

"I need the lube for that cute ass, sweetheart."

Eric's endowment was on the thick side of generous, and as much as zie wished for different bits with which to enjoy him, the plain truth was that getting in bed with Eric made zir not care. He made zir shameless whatever gender ze sported that day. Ze handed him the box and pursed her lips in disapproval of the lube.

"Boring, Eric. With all the flavors out there you pick plain old water-based in a longneck?"

"It's versatile! Besides, I have to keep Ronnie stocked up. That boy is all over town." Eric opened the top of the tube with a flick of his thumbnail. "I'll have you know that my asshole and balls were minty-fresh for three damn days after my last visit with Officer Friendly and the Night Stick of Doom."

If you couldn't laugh while having sex with someone, you shouldn't be fucking them - and Rox was laughing so hard that ze had tears in her eyes. "You bitch about swamp balls all the time. I gave you nice mentholated fresh balls. M-make up your mind."

"Like that?" Eric's grin was wolfish and hungry as he slipped the elongated tip of the lube packet into zir, sending a surge of heat from brain to balls. "Red, you look so good…"

"B-bastard brat wicked bloody ahh strumpet-" Zie took his prick in grip, positioning zirself and then slowly easing down. "Hedonist, you look so good on your ba- oh on your back!"

"Talk mean to me, lover." Eric groaned, his hands tightening on zir hips as ze opened for him. "Ride my dick like you stole it."

"Mouthy service brat, this is my pretty cock to play with." The stretch was lovely, making Rox shameless to scratch that itch. "If you pop your shot before I tell you to, you'll have it locked down for a week."

Oh. Oh, perfect. Ze didn't mind zir bits when Eric's prick pressed to zir prostate and the wicked thing rocked his hips just so. Lovely pace on the lad, that was for certain.

"Wanna make you pop, Red. Make your freckles stand out and play with your titties." Eric rasped, the flush on his cheeks and the bright gaze showing what ze missed when he'd have zir from behind or on top. "Fuck my hand, lover. Ride me hard and make a mess-"

"B-bossy butchy boy, gimme that dick!" Oh, spare a thought for poor Ronnie, getting an awful earful as Eric took a grip on zir hips and bucked. "Lazy-arse power bottom, the only thing you move is your mouth-"

The slats of Eric's bed creaked in protest, and Rox couldn't help zirself when he made a perfect rub. Eric lifted zir knees off the bed as he met zir coming back down. "Lazy? I've give you lazy-"

"Work that ass for me, you stroppy strumpet-"

"Fuck you, kiss me when you talk trash with that mean mouth-"

He got his feet on the headboard and a grip on her arse and ze couldn't kiss him because she was too busy telling him to fuck zir harder.

And then he had a hand in zir hair and kissed zir just as perfectly as he fucked and- "Fuck oh fuck Eric don't you-"

"Come for me come for me Red a little more come on want to feel you coming on my cock-"

It took everything ze had not to bite and to keep him from seeing zir lose control of zir teeth, but oh ze made a mess of his belly and chest when ze arched and zir toes curled and the heat bloomed in zir loins and zir brain-

Oh, ze did hope Ronnie had left for the evening.

Then he kissed zir - warm, perfect, sweet, and loving - and ze kissed him back. It wasn't lying if you didn't say anything, after all.

It was good to awaken next to someone warm, William thought. Cordelia, like a cat, took up a great deal of room as she sprawled, hogged the blankets and in general slept on him. However, since he slept like - no pun intended - the dead, it didn't matter how Cordelia slept. William slept through pretty much everything. Well, everything except Cordelia nuzzling his ear, segueing into her preferred method of waking up, and embracing him with the passion of a goddess. Whatever he had done right, however he came to have her in his life, William was deeply grateful - and not just when she'd lie with him.

But his life was bliss when she would.

He should tell her.

"I should tell you that ah I am d-deeply fond of you and not just when you are willing to hmn have me in your bed-"

Cordelia opened her eyes, fingernails digging into his shoulders. "William - now? OH! Yes there like that, William now!"

Now-? Mmmnow! Cordelia's heels drummed on his arse as he gave her what she was asking for. Sweet and slick and strong around him and her fingernails and there was no call to do to to him such violence especially when it drove him to fever pitch and it was a good thing that reapers did not need to breathe because the bliss and release was such that he could not. They did quite make a wreck of her bed, but it was pleasant to lie entwined with her afterward, kissing the flush from her cheeks. Cordelia's fingers stroked the nape of his neck.

"Sweet old soul," she murmured to him."What would I do without you?"

"You would likely experience less frustration that causes you to upend my office," he replied thoughtfully. "Though I must admire the level of terror that you have inspired in the Dispatch at the mere possibility of your disquiet."

"William?"

"Yes?"

"Rhetorical."

Then for reasons that would likely remain mysterious, Cordelia kissed him again. There were times when it was simply best not to question.

"Will you see Grell again?" This Rox business and novel pronouns had him flummoxed. "And tell me this time instead of going through my ledger when I'm in the shower?"

"You would have been impossible over it, and you know it. I would like to see zir again, and to keep an eye on the reincarnates." Cordelia stroked his hair. "They were your family, William. I cannot think about what it was to lose all four of them."

"We do not have families as mortals do, Cordelia."

"I know, but they were anyway. I do want the whole story, William."

"It's complicated." And somewhat unflattering, actually.

"William."

Could he get out of this? Not without some damage to tender parts, he thought. Gingerly he lifted the lid he'd settled on the entire mess.

Sighing, William began, "The events of which I shall speak began about the same time time as a concatenation of circumstances involving both your late Aunt Angelina's affiliation with Grell Sutcliff and the peculiar circus of murderers."

In the middle of his explanation, Cordelia began to quietly weep and gently cradled his head as if he were the one afflicted. So very strange. He could not understand it. Or why she would rain kisses on his forehead, and make the same noises to him she had once made to comfort their… her daughter as a very young child. His own cheeks were wet with her tears, of course with her tears, as he gently explained again that Reapers do not have families as mortals do, so how could he mourn the loss of them?

#black butler fanfiction

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thesomethingguy · 2 years

Link

#BenjyAndFriends #ComicConAfrica2022

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nicelytousled · 3 years

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We're fucking FEASTING tonight

#the endorphins these scripts are giving me #unparalleled

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fandom-trollbooth · 3 years

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Baby Girl

Explicit/18+ Only

“Come on, baby girl.” You shiver as you hear his low baritone use that phrase. A pause and then the phrase is repeated, just as low but with a bit more inflection in his voice as he tried to set the scene in his mind.

It shouldn’t affect you this much, but it does. That dulcet tone crooning the words. He knows how effective that voice is. How many people think it’s sexy. He claims he doesn’t but he does, he wields it effectively.

The scene is almost comical. Sitting in a chair in shorts and a t-shirt with the script binder open, feet propped up on the coffee table as the new drones quietly in the background. Those damned glasses perched on his nose as he tapped the pen in his hand on the arm of the chair idly. Thinking for a moment before scrawling a note in the side for himself, or maybe the director.

You don’t bother him while he’s reading the script, although you want to. You want to crawl up his lap and have him say that phrase about a hundred more times in your ear. Preferably after stripping down and while he was inside you.

There hadn’t been much thought to how that phrase would sound. Any time you had thought about it, you had always teased that it was his character Jack Daniels that would say it. That smooth southern accent, or maybe Ezra with that almost dandified cadence to his voice.

Now with this new role, you knew that thousands of fans were going to practically melt when they hear Pedro deliver this line in his new show. You had heard the collective reaction of the fandom when he had uttered “Take it off. Or I will” during season two. Although you could attest to how hot that phrase was. Especially when he is toying with the edge of your bra and smirking at you. Your clothes came off instantly.

Turning back to the stove, you check the temperature to make sure everything was coming along like it should. If you had it timed right, he should be through the first read through by the time dinner was ready. Letting him take a break and eat, even though he would be done for the night.

You don’t hear him close the binder, set it on the coffee table or get up with a quiet groan. Too busy humming to yourself as you finish up the meal. Barefooted, he’s quiet as he makes his way into the kitchen, making you jump when his arms slide around your waist.

“Come on, baby girl.” You pant at the voice in your ear, several octaves lower just like he likes to use when he is being seductive. “Dinner can wait.”

Flipping off the burner, you shudder when he bites your earlobe. Panties were definitely going to drop when they hear him say that. Yours were already being pulled down your thighs. Thick fingers sliding through your lips to find you slick.

“I knew that would turn you on.” He whispers in your ear, sliding his fingers father back and pushing them inside you easily. He gives a teasing laugh when you tighten around his fingers, working them slower than you want. “You liked when I said baby girl?”

You gasp out a soft cry, pinned against the counter as Pedro finger fucks you, talking into your ear and peppering your skin with kisses. Getting you right to the edge of bliss before pulling his hand away and making you whine at loss of him. “Pedro-”

“You want me to fuck you right here?” He asks, hand squeezing your ass and pulling your cheeks apart. “Or do you want to eat and then go to bed? Hmmmm? Your choice baby girl.”

Damn him. Damn him and using that phrase. You push back against the hard length beneath the shorts, rubbing your ass up against him and smirking to yourself when he groans. “Fuck me now and after dinner.”

He hrumphs at you, muttering to himself and no doubt talking about how you are greedy as he shuffles both of you off to the side, away from the heat of the stove. Thankfully you hear his zipper being lowered and the rustling of clothes behind you. His feet nudge yours apart, widening your stance and you feel his cock slide around your folds. The thick tip of him wet with your slick and pressing against your entrance. “Ready?” He croons teasingly.

“Just fuck me, Pascal.” You demand, impatient to feel him inside you.

“Yes, madam.” He grunts, pushing forward and filling you, making you forget everything but the feeling of him inside you. “So good baby girl.”

He was going to kill you with that phrase. You just know it. Your walls tighten around him as he stretches you out. Making you gasp out as he pulls back, thrusting back into you hard enough to make your hips hit the counter. His hands on your hips holding you steady as he rocks on the balls of his feet. Grunting as he picks up the pace and the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the space.

You moan, panting out sounds every time he drives back into you. The sucking noise of his cock dragging against your walls loud and lewd, his fingers digging into your flesh, gripping and pulling you back against him.

You brace your arms on the counter, rocking back against him as much as you can. His hands slide down to you thighs, lifting them up and raising you to your tiptoes as he groans when you flutter around him, giving a shriek when he drills against that spot that makes you come every time.

“Fuck, baby.” He hisses and rocks into you harder, one hand sliding around your thigh to rub your clit, his body curved around yours as he gives short, hard thrusts up into you. “You’re gonna come for me, right?” He pants against your neck. “You’re gonna be a good girl for me?”

You can’t even answer him, white hot pleasure slamming into you and your cunt clamps down around him, tight and hot as it soaks his cock with your come. The ragged cry you give out screams for air, broken and high pitched.

“Fuck.” He grunts, his pace frantic as his hips stutter. Fucking into you with abandon as he edges closer to his own end. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He moans, driving deep into you and letting out a cry as he comes, rope after rope of his seed painting your walls.

Whining when he pulls out, too early in your mind, you feel him pull your cheeks apart so he can see the come dripping from your fluttering hole, still clenching around nothing in the wake of your orgasm. He pats your ass and you can hear the smirk in his voice, even if you aren’t looking at his face.

“Come on, baby girl.” He tells you, shuffling his shorts and underwear back up. “Let’s clean up and eat. I’m hungry now.”

You nod, dumbly, your body filled with pleasurable endorphins. He needs to stop saying that phrase. Or maybe not, maybe he needs to say it more.

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal #smut

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akookminsupporter · 3 years

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Hi Rosie :) I've been thinking something lately. There's a layer of jikook we haven't been getting as much since 2019. That provocative, almost slipping up and giving away too much vibe. One that we used to get more during live performances when they were so bold and some vlives. The euphoria a concert with a live audience provides certainly has an effect in some of their behavior together. 6th Muster had cute moments but pales in comparison to the 5th Muster held in their hometown. (1)

(2) When you are completely drunk on adrenaline and endorphines from all that ambiance with an audience I think you're more likely to be reckless or bold. Hence why we had things like Rosebowl happen. When we remove this, I think we get a more subdued jikook. They're still cute tho ^^

Anon, I'll take advantage of your ask to say a few things about this, I hope you don't mind.

Since a few days ago I have received some asks saying this same thing basically: Jimin and Jungkook don't behave like they did in 2019 or 2018 or part of 2020. Some add something else: That makes me doubt or really believe that they broke up or their relationship was never real. I've seen several blogs I follow get similar asks and with all due respect, I'm tired of it.

I don't know what kind of people all you are or what kind of romantic relationships you've had or have, but haven't you ever changed? Haven't you ever stopped doing something or started doing something else? Haven't you ever stopped behaving a certain way in certain settings or places for some reason? The relationships you have had or have, have they always been the same? Have you not changed as a couple? Have you not evolved in your relationship?

A relationship, especially one as long as many of us presume Jimin and Jungkook have, will change, will evolve as the people in it do, and we've all seen that Jimin and Jungkook have changed in many ways, they've matured a lot more, but most of all they are more aware of who they are as artists and as celebrities, that last part forces them to tone down a lot of their public behaviour, I imagine.

Of course Jimin and Jungkook won't behave the same as they did in the 2019 Muster, there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean anything. This is not a soap opera or a series that repeats itself over and over again. They don't follow a script as far as I know, this isn't supposed to be fanservice, is it? But something REAL and real people with real relationships are unpredictable. Many keep saying that JiKook are not the same and I keep wondering if we are watching the same content. Many keep saying that JiKook this year are not the same and I keep wondering what extra content they are watching because in the content i have seen this year, which is not much, JiKook has been jikooking as usual.

A relationship doesn't need grand gestures or displays of affection ALL THE TIME to show that it's happy, a relationship doesn't have to show ANYTHING to third parties to convince them that they're happy or still together.

I'm sorry, but it's quite annoying that many fans think that Jimin and Jungkook have to act a certain way all the time so that their "fans" will stop wondering whether or not they are together.

All we as fans have to do is ENJOY the little or much they want to share with us. Nothing else.

I personally don't see the estrangement that many seem to see, I still see Jimin and Jungkook having tender moments, I still see them still communicating with their eyes, I still see them still having moments that only they seem to understand. I still see admiration for each other, love for each other.

I think, if Jimin and Jungkook's relationship really changes, if they become distant it would be extremely obvious to EVERYONE, so far it's not obvious to me and I know it's not obvious to a lot of people. But hey, we all seem to interpret the things we see differently and there's nothing wrong with that.

#anon #ask #JKJM #JMJK

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misslilli · 3 years

Text

Thank you guys, for your encouragement 😌 and thank you so much @today-in-fic for getting this wee fic out there :)

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 19 - Enjoy The Good Times While They Last

[ DS ]

On the morning after the party, I’m awoken by the tickle of sunlight on my face and a chilly ocean breeze through the partly open doors. I keep my eyes closed and stretch languidly, the memories from last night putting a smile on my face. What a night! This morning, I feel lighter than air, high on endorphins and him. The one whose touch lights my skin on fire. The one whose presence makes me stumble over my words. The one whose smile has a blush creeping up my cheeks. The one whose voice sends a tingle up my spine right into my brain, the neurons misfiring. The one in whose arms I felt so safe, so protected. The one who makes cleaning up a dirty kitchen seem like the most enjoyable activity on the planet.

I’ll keep my eyes closed for only a minute longer, blocking out the reality I know will come rushing back in when I open them. The past. The hurt. The scary. But for now, for a few moments, none of it matters and I let myself fall for him, in the darkness behind my closed eyes and the cozy confines of my bedsheets.

----------

[ In the kitchen of the beach house ]

“Operation: Bullwinkle is going really well, don’t you think?” Sarah looks immensely pleased with herself, stretching out her arms over her head.

“Who would’ve guessed that it would be the little Moose who’s our very best wingman, getting her out on the dancefloor where she could be whisked away by his dad! And then gets her to stay way past the duration of the party. The look on Moose’s face when he saw them, I wish I could’ve snapped a picture!” Holly sighs at the memory.

“Okay next up, Halloween. What are we goi-“ Alex is interrupted by a sharp “Shh, Squirrel!” from Sarah and they turn their heads in unison towards their friend coming downstairs to join them for breakfast.

“Wow, look who’s walking on sunshine!”

They haven’t seen a smile so big on their friend’s face for far too long now and once she sits down, Sarah starts the questioning.

“So Smiley Miley, care to tell us what happened last night?” Dana only smirks around a bite of her bagel.

“No.”

“Oh come on, D, don’t make me beg! I’m dying to know what happened between you waking up alone with the handsome stranger and sneaking into the house in the middle of the night!”

“It was a good night, that’s all I’m going to say.”

Sarah gasps. “Did you sleep with him??”

“What? No!”

“Then why in the world are you being so secretive about it?”

Their friend rests her chin in her hand with a dreamy smile on her face. “I love you guys but I don’t want you to dissect it to what it all means and taint my memory. I just want to remember how it was. I want to remember how it all was!”

----------

[ FM ]

The morning after the party, Sam and I gather around the kitchen table for breakfast. Felix is still fast asleep so it gives my sister and I some alone time to recap the events of the previous evening. Sam never beats around the bush and gets right to the point.

“Bro, I really like that girl of yours.” I smile wistfully at that and touch my hand to my cheek; I really do too. “The way you guys looked on the dance floor was breathtaking, let me tell you. It’s a pretty perfect match, don’t you think?”

“Sam, I feel like I’ve looked for someone like her for all my life. She makes me so nervous, I stumble over my words and say and do stupid shit, I called her Snoozy for crying out loud.” Sam laughs at my pained expression and pats my arm.

“You really don’t know your head from your ass when you’re in love, do you?. So, what happened afterwards? Did you talk to her again? Did you ask her out like I told you to?” She looks at me imploringly on her last statement.

“Yes and no. Yes we did talk, she fell asleep with Felix on the couch reading about butterflies and when she woke up, we cleaned up the kitchen together.” A reproachful look from my sister.

“You made her clean up the kitchen with you? Are you insane?”

“Hey, she insisted! And I didn’t want her to go just yet. We had such a good time, laughing and bantering back and forth, flirty stuff. And then, there was a moment…” Sam gasps.

“There was a moment?”

“Yeah… the perfect moment where we just stared at each other and I wanted to kiss her so bad, Sam, but…”

“Oh God there’s a but…”

“But then Felix came downstairs for a glass of water and the moment was gone.” She groans in frustration.

“I love that kid but damn he’s got bad timing!”

“I’ll say. So then I walked her to the door and I was so dazed from that almost-kiss, I couldn’t think of anything to say to make her stay. So no, I didn’t ask her out. She kissed my cheek before she left and that almost made me keel over…”

“I gotta say, bro, I’ve never seen you talk about anyone like that before and I’m really happy for you! Now, ask her out damn it!”

“If I can string two coherent words together the next time I see her, I’ll try!”

My sister nods and at that moment, Felix comes padding down the stairs in his dinosaur pajamas, rubbing his eyes. He crawls into Sam’s lap, stealing a piece of her waffle.

“Good morning, handsome! Did you have a good time yesterday?”

“Yeah auntie Sam, I did, it was awesome! Did you see how I danced?”

“I did, you did pretty well!” At that, he grins widely. “Too bad your dad cut in, huh? Did you watch them dance, too? It was pretty amazing, I think”

“Meh… it was okay, at least you didn’t step on her toes, dad! Did you see all the gifts people got us? Can we go open them now?”

“Breakfast first, gifts later, son!”

We clear the table before heading to the living room where we put the gifts yesterday, opening them one after another, Felix beside himself with glee.

One of the last gift bags is the one from the four teachers and I’ve been wondering all night what they got us. Felix pulls out both presents, handing the one with a neatly written “Fox” over to me. There’s a card for both of us as well and in a loopy handwriting, it reads:

Felix,

We know how much you enjoy reading, so we hope you’ll enjoy your gift and we’re looking forward to all the interesting thing’s you’ll be able to tell us at recess soon!

A big hug and a very happy birthday

Miss Scully, Miss Anderson, Miss Spencer and Miss Carter

“I know what’s in there!,” Felix exclaims and rips the paper off to reveal the very heavy “Oxford History of Ancient Egypt”. He gasps excitedly, gripping the book tight. “Oh my God, I love it! I’m gonna go read it right now so I know all the facts on Monday!”

I open my own card with shaky hands, very aware of Sam’s eyes on me. In the same loopy script, this one says:

Mr. Mulder,

As a fellow magician’s son, it is absolutely essential for Felix to hear the amazing stories of the greatest wizard of our times. It makes a wonderful good-night story and we hope you and your son will enjoy it as much as we did!

Happiest of birthdays

Dana, Sarah, Holly and Alexandra

My finger traces the twists and turns of the D in her signature thoughtfully and with a smile I imagine her sitting at her desk, writing our cards, a scowl of concentration on her face. Sam interrupts my daydreaming: “So? What is it? Open it!”

I oblige and pull out an elaborately designed copy of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”. It’s the collector’s edition with beautiful pictures almost on every page.

It’s the perfect gift. Because it’s from her. For me.

#xf #the x files #xf fanfic #msr #felix felicis

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snifflesthemouse · 3 years

Text

I'm still rather new to Tumblr. While I've clearly displayed my ability to post my ramblings, I'm still figuring out the other various features of this platform. For the sake of reference, I have posted a screenshot below.

While I completely agree with @youhavebeenmarkled that it's grossly inappropriate to suggest Catherine, the future Queen Consort, is a drug addict... I want to add to the discussion and further develop why the concept of Catherine microdosing heroin is entirely ignorant.

@youhavebeenmarkled mentions several excellent points as to why the concept is ridiculous; from genetics to muscle tone and more. But there's deeper reasons why this idea of Catherine being on heroin is so far from the truth and reality, it's out of this world. Some could even argue it sounds like a page from a Hollywood script.

Before I get started, though, I want (and need) to stress a few things. I am in no way shaming anyone. As I've shared in the past, I am the last person in the universe qualified to pass judgement on anything or anyone. My posts are simply my perspectives, my opinions. I look at facts in the public domain, and with my own knowledge and life experience, I form my thoughts.

Please remember while you read this, I am not looking down on anyone. I am not bragging about knowing what drug addiction is or is not. I am only sharing some insights with you, the reader, on what real life heroin addiction is like. My only goal is giving insight.

I am not proud of my past, and I am not condoning it. Nor should you. Accountability is how I stay clean. Please do not feel like I am suggesting non-addicts are ignorant or "square". Not knowing or understanding heroin addiction is a blessing. It's a good thing to be in the dark about certain things because it means you're smarter than people like me.

Be proud of the fact you don't automatically see why these blind items are total nonsense from the start. And if you aren't proud of yourself, just know I am proud AF of you. For those of you like myself who have been through the hell of addiction, remember we do recover. With all that being said, let's get going.

You see, anyone with firsthand experience or knowledge of true heroin addiction would automatically know these rumors are absolutely ridiculous. Why? Because heroin addiction doesn't work that way.

Now don't get me wrong. The world is filled with functioning closet addicts. I myself was a functioning closet addict for years before the world was any the wiser. The key point, though, is the world did eventually get wiser.

Heroin addiction usually starts out in one of a few ways. Most Americans addicted to heroin became that way because of prescription painkillers. For example, I first got addicted to pain pills. When the pain pills became impossible to get, I took what I could get that was the closest equivalent. That was heroin.

But some people start using heroin because they did some at a party with friends. Or they have a loved one addicted and wanted to see what the fuss was all about. Some people are hooked on other drugs, like cocaine or ecstasy, and their usual dealer offers a free sample of the latest batch of heroin. There's a saying among addicts; "The first one's free."

Dealers know they can increase their profitability if they can get established clients addicted to other products they traffic. But these are just a few examples of how people get started using heroin. Very rarely does anyone start out on heroin simply because they want to stay thin. Contrary to the popular belief known to many as "heroin chic" that came from supermodels in the mid 80s and 90s.

Heroin is what addicts refer to as a euphoria narcotic. It has a euphoric effect, and it is sometimes called a "downer". Cocaine, crack cocaine, methamphetamine, or amphetamines are called "uppers" or "speeders" because they stimulate the brain and give energy. While heroin can have that affect on people, it is not the traditional go-to for illicit weight management.

In other words, if Catherine really did use microdosing (a concept I will debunk in a moment), her first, best choice would be a stimulant like cocaine because it's much more effective at appetite suppression and providing energy. Heroin wouldn't be the first, best choice for many reasons.

Because of its nature, heroin is highly addictive. Most users begin snorting the drug in powder form. Within seconds to a minute, the substance enters the bloodstream and hits the brain. The brain then releases endorphins that travel the rewards pathway in the brain. The first time one uses heroin is the highest they will ever feel from using. Every subsequent dose releases less and less endorphins in the brain. This is why recovering addicts talk about chasing their sobriety like they chased their first high. This is also why microdosing is an almost-impossible behavior.

Microdosing means taking tiny, small amounts over time. Meaning that you only use the minimum amount to achieve the effect you desire. But the problem is, your brain becomes physically dependent on the substance over time. Every time an addict uses, the brain gets more dependent on that substance to function. So, while a non-addict's brain has no issues with their brain producing endorphins, an addict's brain does. This is why heroin is so addictive.

Eventually, a heroin addict's brain will become so reliant on heroin to produce endorphins, the addict will become entirely dependent. This is also known as becoming hooked. When the addict doesn't have the minimum amount of heroin the body is accustomed to, or depending upon, the addict will start withdrawal. This is often called being "dope sick" or "detoxing".

Detoxing or being dope sick is the driving force behind addicts staying addicts. Being dope sick is the biggest fear of an addict. So much so, the fear of detoxing is enough to drive otherwise good, decent human beings to doing absolutely whatever it takes to avoid detoxing. Stealing from loved ones, manipulating innocent bystanders, lying, cheating, robbing, selling your body... are the half of it.

Being dope sick is like having the worst flu of your life times a million. You will vomit, have uncontrollable diarrhea, and your body will hurt worse than anything you could ever imagine. If you detox for more than a day, you will begin to feel like your insides are shaking, burning, and pulling apart inside. You can't sleep. You can't eat. You can't get out of bed. You miss work and lose your job (if you still have one at this point). You get desperate before this point, and you get carnal after this point.

Your brain and entire body becomes dependent on this substance to function subpar. Without this substance, everything begins to stop working properly. Depending on exactly how much you use normally, your withdrawal can become life threatening. You can have seizures, strokes, or even go into cardiac arrest. Hopefully you can see by now why I say the concept of microdosing is ridiculous.

To be able to micro dose would require the self control and willpower of a super human. This reminds me of an article I once read about a college professor who advocated for drug use. He claimed he wasn't addicted, had control of his drug use, and was a productive member of society. He said he'd use heroin like others drink after a long day of work. Yet, he's been using it for over a decade. Yet, he experienced detoxing. That professor is a prime example of an addict in denial. But I digress...

My points are this:

1. Heroin wouldn't be the first choice for weight control or appetite suppression; cocaine or stimulants like meth or ritalin would be.

2. Microdosing is an almost-impossible method of drug use because the body gets hooked quickly. Which means the dose will only increase in amount in order to have the same effects over time.

3. Heroin causes an addiction that results in serious, life threatening withdrawal that drives even the nicest person to doing the worst of the worst.

4. Heroin addiction, even in small amounts, takes no time to invade and overtake one's life. It literally only takes one time to get hooked. It literally takes no time to destroy everything.

Oh, and one more thing before I put a sock in it... at the height of my active addiction, I was using around 2 grams a day to feel normal. I spent at minimum $200 a day on heroin. Sometimes even more. When I started out, I was only using a tenth or less. It takes 10 of those to make a gram. So within two months of starting, I went from doing one tenth to needing 20 of those tenths just to feel normal and function. All the while, I never got smaller than 150 pounds.

I know it sounds terrible, but I would lament over how unfair it was. I was doing all this heroin, and I was still thick AF. I would literally joke to fellow addicts I would use with how it was total bullshit. How was it I was using 2 grams a day and still a size 12 or 14? That's how sick I was in my disease. Which is my final point.

Not everyone on heroin is "heroin chic" skinny. The effort, will power, and self control it would take to "microdose" would be far greater than what it would take to control one's diet and exercise. Plus it would be much cheaper to hire a trainer than employ a drug dealer.

I hope this very long, detailed, winded post gives better insight to the deeper reasons the blind item is so dumb. I also hope it gives insight to the real life of heroin addiction. My goal was, and is, to provide real examples to the blind item's absurdity. If I can help people better understand heroin addiction, potentially deterring someone from ever touching it or even a loved one learning something that could help someone they know struggling with addiction... well that would be a bonus.

P.S. If you or a loved one you know is struggling with addiction, there is help out there. If you have any questions or just need someone to listen, please feel free to message me. I will do my best to help. I've been there. They say the only way to keep your sobriety is by giving it away... I have plenty to give. Be forewarned, though, I am unapologetically blunt and honest to a fault. I mean no harm, but I will not sugar coat anything.

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hufflepuffhollander · 4 years

Note

Hi, can you do 1,2,15, and 18?

I sure can! finding a common thread through all of these prompts was a real artistic challenge lol

tom x costar!reader | contains language and a lil razzle dazzle of fluff | word count: 1.1k oops | enjoy!

1. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

2. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

15. “I’ve never felt this way before….and it scares the shit out of me.”

18. “Wait a second, are you jealous?”

At the cast party for your latest movie, you weave through the groupings of socialites to find Tom, but it proves to be a challenge.

“Mr. Holland! Over here! How would you describe your relationship with your costar y/n after being on set with them filming for almost a year?” a reporter tries to shout over the roar of conversation at your coworker-turned-best friend.

“Shit, you’d think these guys would take one night off,” Tom says, feigning surprise that a cast party of this scale would draw the attention of the tabloids and their spies. His best friend Harrison laughs but doesn’t let Tom avoid the question.

“Yeah, mate, how would you define the relationship?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively, and Tom looks both ways as if crossing a busy street to make sure you’re out of earshot. But you aren’t. Just now coming up on the pair, you hear his friend’s question and quickly take cover, pretending to order a cocktail so you can violate their privacy and listen in.

“Honestly, man, I don’t know. I’m afraid to do anything to fuck up what we have. But god, I’m, like, obsessed with her...” Harrison puts his arm on his friends shoulder.

“Well it’s clear as fuckin’ day you both have some unresolved feelings for each other that maybe you need to stop avoiding,” he says, trying to be supportive, but it just makes Tom nervous.

“But I can never bring it up. When I try to, and she looks at me, I just...my brain gets fuzzy,” he says, forgetting that others may be able to hear his close-to-home sentiments. “I’ve just never felt this way before…and it scares the shit out of me. Plus, all the papers say she’s an item with some guy back in her hometown,” he fails to hide his frown.

Someone trying to get by pushes you into view, blowing your cover. Tom sees you and his face instantly softens. “What’s up, boys? You look lost in thought,” you join the group and try to hide your very recent eavesdrop.

“Nah, just talking about all the celebs who didn’t bring a plus one,” Harrison starts. “Speaking of which, y/n, where’s yours?” Tom shoots daggers at his friend for bringing up such an obvious segue into talking about your relationship status.

“Uh, who would I have brought?” you looked at Tom expectantly, trying to figure out why he hadn’t asked you to go with him when you’d joked about it for months. “It would confuse the shit out of all the press,” Tom would laugh. “Imagine what they’d say if they found out we went together.” He acted like he was kidding, but his acting isn’t as good off script as you’d think.

“Well, what about that guy from back home we’ve heard about?” Harrison continues to pry, and Tom, out of pure nerve, joins in. “Yeah, he’s a townie nobody, the press would eat him up...”

“We’re not even a- wait, why would you two even care?” you see Tom avert his gaze. “Oh my god, wait a second, are you jealous?” you look at Tom, one eyebrow cocked up, smirk forming on your lips. He laughs nervously, trying to deflect the attention away from his increasingly hot cheeks.

“Me? Of that guy? Never,” he laughs again, eliciting an eye roll from you. “Whatever you say, hun,” you respond, leaving to mingle. Tom turns to his friend and socks him in the arm.

“Ouch, fuck!” he exclaims, rubbing his shoulder in pain. “Where’d you learn to throw a punch like that, huh?”

“What the hell, Harrison? I told you we’re still figuring it all out,” he says, head clouded with the vision of you walking away.

“I’m doing you a favor. You need to tell her how you feel and stop being such a schoolgirl about it,” he says, leaving Tom in the dust to go get another drink.

the next morning

You go for a run early, trying to work out the tangle of thoughts in your head about Tom, analyzing and over-analyzing what his every word could possibly mean. Absentmindedly, you run off your regular route over to his apartment, only realizing how your subconscious has betrayed you once you’ve reached his door. You couldn’t take this any longer.

you: hey pal, I’m outside, open up.

The door swings open and Tom appears in the doorway, genuinely happy to see you. “OMG, you’re sweaty,” he exclaims, sizing you up from your workout. He tries to distract himself from how your yoga pants perfectly accentuate your curves, how the sunlight behind you makes you look like a glowing angel...

“Shut it, I ran out of water.” lie. “Can I come in?”

You plop down at his kitchen bartop, nerves building up in your chest. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” you ask, and Tom comes to stand at the counter to face you. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you seemed to take quite an interest in my personal life,” you say, prodding him to start confessing. But no such luck.

“Just making conversation,” he says. He’s building up the courage to just pour out his feelings for you, but the words feel trapped on his tongue. You’re tired and impatient, and you let your endorphins guide you through your next slippery slope. “Hey, those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“What are you on about?” suddenly catching the hint that you heard his conversation with Harrison the night before.

“Tom, we can’t keep this charade up forever,” you start. “What...what are we doing here?” you look down, desperately trying to hide that your whole world lies on his answer.

He curses under his breath. “I just never stop thinking about you,” he looks down at his hands like there’s something interesting to see. “...but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.” You make your move and boost yourself to sit on the counter, moving him to center himself between your knees. His eyes are wide, confused and full of anticipation. You take a deep breath, and place your hands around his neck.

“I’ve been waiting so long to hear that,” you say, finally able to look him in the eyes. You can feel his whole body relax under your touch. “Because I’m pretty sure you are, too.” you fixate on his growing smile.

He pulls you closer, letting his hands rest on your waist. “I’d kiss you if you weren’t so sweaty right now,” he chuckles, and you pull away so he can see your eye roll.

“Well, I’m giving you three seconds to do it anyway.” Tom takes his chance and places the sweetest kiss on your lips, a whole year of waiting for this moment making it taste that much sweeter.

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

Text

National Enquirer, April 19

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover

Page 2: Michael Douglas' short-term memory loss and frail frame have wife Catherine Zeta-Jones fearing for her older husband's well-being -- Michael once declared he'd beaten oral cancer, but harsh chemotherapy and radiation treatments have left him a shell of his former self and he has even admitted to suffering memory problems -- he was also affected by the 2020 death of his father Kirk Douglas and he hasn't been the same since his dad died -- this is a guy who cheated death with a horrific cancer ordeal, and he's had other medical issues over the years and some serious domestic dramas that have taken their toll -- Catherine always knew that their age difference would mean her taking care of him one day but she didn't expect it to be so soon

Page 3: Reese Witherspoon has ditched her wedding ring during recent outings, sparking rumors her marriage to Jim Toth is on the ropes but she feels their relationship isn't down for the count and refuses to give up the fight to keep their family together but they may not make it -- the desire to make things work is still there on both sides and they've been able to pull it all together all these years, even with personalities as different as theirs mainly for the sake of their family and they got on each other's nerves while cooped up together during the pandemic, but they don't bicker in public and that's one thing they have going for them

Page 4: Ryan Seacrest creeped out his pals when he gushed over Maria Menounos when she sat in for Kelly Ripa on Live recently -- Ryan thinks Maria is the smartest, most talented and beautiful woman to walk the planet and he can't help but swoon over her but Ryan understands Maria is happily married to TV writer and producer Keven Underago and he'd never cross the line and he doesn't want to date Maria, but he makes no secret he'd be dancing on air to have someone like her, which is kind of creepy, but he can't help it -- Ryan would never make moves on someone else's girl, but he does try to imitate her husband Keven's qualities like how funny and creative and sensible he is and Ryan adores Kelly and thinks she's great but he wouldn't mind if she takes more time off just so he can gaze at Maria

* Miley Cyrus' recent boozy night out with party pals, including British punk rocker Yungblud, has loved ones fearing she's slipping back into dangerous territory -- she was spotted at Hollywood's famous Rainbow Bar & Grill, drinking shots and beer chasers, just months after she admitted to her struggles with addiction and after fellow addiction-challenged singer Demi Lovato announced she was California sober, claiming she was safely able to drink in moderation, Miley didn't see any reason why she couldn't do the same -- her family and sober friends are deeply concerned for Miley's well-being and are begging her to stop drinking now

Page 5: Newly robust Celine Dion has her health back on track following a dangerous few years where she looked like a walking skeleton -- she has beefed up her wraith-like frame by making healthier choices during lockdown -- she went through a rough time of transition after husband Rene Angelil's death and lost a lot of weight, but lockdown has given her a chance to rest and focus on taking care of herself and now she looks 15 to 20 pounds heavier and seems in good spirits and is looking forward to rebooting her Courage World Tour when the pandemic ends

Page 6: Fitness fanatic Tim McGraw is a changed man since he kicked the bottle in 2008, but he's now hooked on working out and sculpting the perfect bod and he's publicly admitted exercise is what gets him flying high but his quest to get ripped to the max is now a 24/7 obsession and he spends hours in the gym and he's already flexing a muscular body most men would die for, but he doesn't want to stop until he's an Adonis and he works out twice or three times a day and packs his diet with energy-boosting smoothies and veggie juices and some might say he's going overboard with the workouts, but Tim craves those feel-good endorphins and he considers his workouts to be fun -- he loves the way he looks and thinks he can do better and he does spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring himself and tends to wear tight T-shirts that show off his pecs and six-pack abs, and wife Faith Hill loves the results -- a lot of people say he's traded one addiction for another

Page 7: Nearly six years after their bitter divorce, Miranda Lambert has finally extended an olive branch to ex-husband Blake Shelton, but she's still pretty envious over his professional success with fiancee Gwen Stefani -- last year, Blake and Gwen took home the collaborative video prize at the Country Music Television Awards for their duet Nobody but You, and also scored a Top Ten hit with their single Happy Anywhere and it makes Miranda jealous to see Blake making hay on the charts with Gwen but their success also made Miranda recall Over You, her hit collaboration with Blake, which won Song of the Year at the 2012 Country Music Association Awards and during a recent interview, Miranda affectionately blew kisses toward the camera as she recounted how her ballad with Blake was inspired by his grief over the loss of his older brother; still, Miranda also harbors a competitive streak and said she's angling to transform herself and husband Brendan McLoughlin into entertainment movers and shakers just like Blake and Gwen -- Miranda plans to enroll Brendan in acting school and Miranda wants them to act together and they are looking for scripts to make a television movie and even planning to launch a production company in Nashville and Miranda recognizes the musical chemistry Blake and Gwen share, and she believes she and Brendan can match that success on-screen -- meanwhile, as Blake and Gwen prepare to wed, Miranda is finally in a place where she can wish them well and Miranda carried a lot of animosity toward Blake and Gwen, especially since she suspected they started something before she and Blake split up, but she's very happy with Brendan so maybe all that pain she and Blake went through in ending their marriage was for the best

* Reba McEntire is reaching out to save her friend and former daughter-in-law Kelly Clarkson from suffering through a divorce that eerily mirrors Reba's own breakup -- Kelly split from husband and manager Brandon Blackstock in June 2020, and the divorce battle has them fighting over custody of their two kids as well as Brandon suing her for $1.4 million in unpaid commissions, but Reba has seen this before: Brandon's dad, Narvel Blackstock, dumped her in 2015 after 26 years of marriage, and despite initially agreeing to continue as her manager, dumped her as a client weeks later and Reba knows all too well how petty and conniving Narvel and Brandon can be, and her heart goes out to Kelly -- Kelly admits to Reba there are times when she just wants to run away and hide and Reba tells her to run away to me and it means the world to Kelly to have Reba in her corner -- Narvel and son Brandon head Starstruck Entertainment and are adamant that Kelly owes them big bucks for helping her land both her talk show and a coaching spot on The Voice, but with Reba's help, Kelly is fighting back and Reba learned the hard way the pitfalls of mixing business with family life and she's trying to help Kelly because she hates to see another woman suffer at the hands of a Blackstock

Page 8: Sicko Jeffrey Epstein has been accused of a horrific new litany of abuse by a woman who claims he forced her into unwanted genital surgery, raped her in front of her child and threatened to feed her to alligators -- the woman, identified in court papers as Jane Doe, is suing the late pervert's estate, claiming he and his alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell, groomed her for their sordid pleasure -- in the suit, she claims Epstein drove her to pick up her 8-year-old son and took them to a lake, where he threatened to feed her to alligators, as had happened to other girls in the past, if she dared to squeal on him -- at the time, the woman said she was 26, but she looked much younger and Epstein told her to say she was 17 and he also arranged for a man with a Russian accent to perform an unnecessary vaginal surgery to pass her off as a virgin to a client and this violent and illegal procedure was botched, leaving her mutilated, in pain, disabled, and permanently sexually dysfunctional

Page 9: Ghislaine Maxwell has been slapped with yet another sex trafficking charge and it's got her former pal Prince Andrew sweating bullets -- the new indictment details how Jeffrey Epstein's alleged madam reportedly groomed a 14-year-old for him, but crucially for Andrew, it expands the time frame of Ghislaine's alleged crimes from 1994 to 2004, a span that includes her meeting the British royal in 1999 and then introducing him to Epstein and that time frame also includes the period in which "sex slave" Virginia Roberts Giuffre claims she slept with Andrew three times, charges he's denied -- the new charge also opens the floodgates on other celebrities, politicians and high-profile figures who were in Epstein's orbit at the time and the new indictment widens the pool for Ghislaine and her defense attorneys because who wouldn't want to bring down all of these fat cats and who wouldn't be that desperate?

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Rumer Willis got to the root of her gardening needs in L.A., Michael B. Jordan and Chante Adams got cozy as they shared a snack while shooting Journal for Jordan in NYC's Central Park, Heidi Klum in L.A., Mario Lopez tossed the ceremonial first dice roll at the opening of the Mohegan Sun Casino in Las Vegas, Christopher Meloni shot his onscreen spouse's funeral scene for Law & Order: Organized Crime

Page 11: Tony Bennett has a secret weapon in his fight against Alzheimer's disease: his close pal and collaborator Lady Gaga -- Susan Crow Benedetto, 54, the wife of the 94-year-old singing legend, has enlisted Gaga to help keep Tony's faculties sharp as he struggles with advancing dementia because Gaga's telephone calls have always helped cheer Tony up and keep him focused and they laugh together, reminisce and sometimes sing and it always puts a smile on Tony's face and it's great therapy -- when asked whether Tony still recognizes the pop star, Susan joked that Gaga is hard to forget -- Gaga has also played a critical role in keeping the aging crooner active and creative by working with him and they plan to release their second album of duets this spring as a follow-up to their 2014 smash hit Cheek to Cheek

* Worried friends feared ailing rock god Ozzy Osbourne is coming unstrung while wife Sharon Osbourne's career goes into a death spiral -- Ozzy has been plagued by crippling illnesses over the years, including Parkinson's disease, and has to walk with the aid of a cane and now he's at wit's end and pushing himself into a danger zone as his wife fights tooth and nail after leaving The Talk amid a racism scandal and Ozzy's been under a great deal of distress over Sharon's problems over at The Talk and he worries and fusses over her and can't focus on anything else and it's left many in his circle very concerned for his health which is fragile enough already -- the bashing Sharon received during the scandal has the aging rocker concerned she may never work again and he'll have to be the breadwinner

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- five years after Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, she's still battling Brad Pitt over custody of their five youngest kids, now she's filed new court documents claiming she has proof of domestic violence against Brad and accusations like these would kill anyone else's career, but not in this case: Hollywood is 100 percent behind Brad and the sense in the industry is Angelina has weaponized the kids against Brad but Brad is very well respected in Hollywood, and most people find these new allegations hard to believe and if anything, Angie is only hurting the children and herself

* Real Housewives stars featured in the upcoming spinoff are cashing in and Bravo will pay Luann de Lesseps, Teresa Giudice and the others a sweet $200,000 for one week's work in Turks and Caicos and that's more than double what the ladies usually get for filming, plus they get a free trip to a tropical island

* American Idol could be on the chopping block because in just seven weeks the show has lost 2 million viewers and it's simple math: Idol cannot survive with its current budget and ABC has two options which are cancel the show or cut costs, which would mean hiring cheaper judges and a cheaper host to replace Ryan Seacrest and both options are being explored

* Britney Spears' beau, personal trainer Sam Asghari, shows off his toned abs in L.A. (picture)

Page 13: Palace insiders fear Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's vendetta against the British monarchy will take a shocking new turn: they'll bankroll a lurid movie about Princess Diana's death and the conspiracy theories that suggest the royal family was involved -- the rights to the movie script are owned by Hollywood producer Ben Browning, who was just hired by Harry and Meghan to run their film company Archewell Productions -- the controversial movie centers on Princess Diana's lover Dodi Fayed's father, former Harrods' boss Mohamed Al-Fayed, investigating his son's death and his belief that Dodi and Diana were murdered because she was pregnant and planning to marry, and The Firm did not want a Muslim in the royal family

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Alabama Shakes drummer Steve Johnson has been busted on charges of willful torture and abuse of a child and was also charged with cruelly beating or otherwise maltreating a child under the age of 18 -- his arrest came just a year after he was slapped with a one-year suspended sentence and two years' probation after pleading guilty to menacing his ex-wife Whitney Lee, who called him mentally unstable -- Johnson helped the Shakes score three Grammys in 2016 for their album Sound & Color but the band has been on hiatus since singer Brittany Howard started a solo career in 2018 and Steve was lost after that; he went from playing in front of 50,000 people to playing in bars again -- even if the Shakes reunite, it's highly unlikely Steve would be invited back -- Steve remains in county jail awaiting his court date and his attorneys said Mr. Johnson maintains his innocence

* Danny Masterson and his lawyers believe they are victims of anti-Scientology bias and cannot get a fair trial in his Los Angeles rape case -- celebrity attorney Tom Mesereau, who successfully defended Michael Jackson against child molestation charges two decades ago, claimed his client has been treated unfairly because of his ties to the church, and that the police or district attorney's office leaked damaging details of the case -- Danny and his lawyers feel persecuted and that everybody in Hollywood who isn't a Scientologist is after them -- LAPD Robbery and Homicide Division Capt. Jonathan Tippet said his organization is keeping a tight lid on all information surrounding the case to ensure Masterson gets a fair trial

Page 16: Mormon church officials are being accused of corporate greed for using members' charitable donations to secretly create a $100 billion tax-free fund -- James Huntsman, the son of a prominent Mormon family, is suing the church for fraud, claiming donations solicited to finance charity work were actually used to fill church coffers -- the church boasts at least 15 million members worldwide, including celebrities like Gladys Knight, Donny and Marie Osmond, Katherine Heigl, Julianne Hough, Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling, Amy Adams and Aaron Eckhart and many could have tithed money that ended up in the tax-free fund

Page 17: Jen Shah of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was recently fingered by the feds as the bogus businesswoman behind a multi-state fraud scheme dating back to 2012 -- the Bravo blowhard, known for her extravagant parties, designer outfits and extensive entourage, and her first assistant Stuart Smith were arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering -- the U.S. Justice Department alleged the Park City resident and Smith of Lehi generated and sold lead lists of innocent individuals for other members of their scheme to repeatedly scam, and claimed the greedy creeps defrauded hundreds of victims -- the terrible twosome targeted older adults and computer illiterate folks by using both telemarketing and in-person sales teams to peddle nonexistent online services and then fight the refund efforts of wronged consumers -- if convicted, Shah and Smith each face up to 50 years behind bars

Page 18: American Life

Page 20: L.A. County Sheriff Alex Villanueva triggered a cover-up scandal when he revealed his investigators determined why Tiger Woods drove off a California cliff, then refused to explain what happened, citing the golf legend's privacy -- Villanueva said the black box in the Genesis SUV that Tiger was driving when he flew off a suburban L.A. highway in the early morning helped determine the cause

* Hollywood Hookups -- Bethenny Frankel and Paul Bernon engaged, Melissa and Joe Gorga appear to have reached the finale of their marriage, Fernanda Flores and professional boxes Noel Mikaelian dating

Page 21: Britney Spears said she broke into tears after seeing bits of the new documentary about how she has been in the grips of a conservatorship for years, saying she was embarrassed by the light they put her in and she cried for two weeks and still cries sometimes

* Generous Hollywood legend Dick Van Dyke put a happy face on job seekers in Malibu when he handed out fistfuls of cash -- Dick was spotted withdrawing bills from a bank before driving to the Malibu Community Labor Exchange, a nonprofit that helps unemployed locals find day jobs and he stayed in his car as he handed out money to masked folks who were lined up to look for work

Page 22: The late Aretha Franklin left behind a royal mess of paperwork, including a newly discovered fourth will that has thrown her $80 million estate into fresh turmoil -- the eight-page document, titled The Will of Aretha Franklin, was apparently drawn up not long before her death in 2018, and was recently found among the files of the singer's onetime attorney Henry Grix along with the paperwork describing the terms of a trust but both items are stamped draft and neither has Aretha's signature but Michigan law changed seven years ago, and it made the admissibility of a document like this more flexible -- currently there's a bitter beef among Aretha's four adult sons over how their mother's assets should be divided

Page 23: The battle over Prince's $300 million fortune rages on, and the late pop star's siblings, and legal heirs, fear there won't be anything left after lawyers, accountants, administrators and the IRS take their cut -- five years after he died from a fatal fentanyl overdose without leaving a will, an avalanche of deals and court hearings have left his massive cash stash in limbo -- sadly Prince's distrust of lawyers and other professionals now means that millions will be spent paying those same people to try to sort out the mess he left behind and this could go on for a decade

Page 26: Weird Body Language -- stars cope with bizarre deformities -- Denzel Washington, Steven Tyler, Ashton Kutcher, Matthew Perry

Page 27: Lily Allen, Mark Wahlberg, Karolina Kurkova, Scar Service -- Tina Fey, Padma Lakshmi, Joaquin Phoenix

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- Watch out for xylitol

Page 34: Just months after John Travolta's beloved wife, Kelly Preston, passed, the actor has been shattered by another death in the family -- his nephew Sam Travolta's badly decomposed body was found in his Wisconsin apartment last September, weeks after he died from a suspected heart attack -- John has suffered through so much loss and Sam's death was another huge blow but he's strong and has a deep faith in Scientology and the church brings him solace and comfort

Page 36: Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran has stepped up to get a tenant in one of her buildings back on his feet -- Barbara and building co-owner Alex Rodriguez came under fire after Ryo Nagaoka's possessions were reportedly tossed while he was hospitalized with COVID-19 and when Ryo got home he found only his piano and pet tortoise in his cleaned-out crib -- emptying Ryo's apartment was necessary because it had become a health hazard and had a biocleaning crew scrub it -- Barbara donated $12,000 to a GoFundMe page for him, while A-Rod has seemingly not yet contributed anything and Barbara also said the building's management company has renovated Ryo's apartment

Page 38: Beloved game show host Peter Marshall made a miraculous recovery from COVID-19 to celebrate with friends at his 95th birthday party -- Peter was in and out of the hospital for ten weeks and he was at death's door and doctors didn't give him much of a chance but Peter beat the odds to enjoy a Zoom party attended online by Leslie Uggams, Loni Anderson, Sandy Duncan, Ruta Lee, Karen Valentine, Rich Little, JoAnne Worley, Jack Jones and more

* Accused sex freak Armie Hammer's career is in the crapper and he's beginning to believe that's where it will stay -- the kink king was fired from the thriller Billion Dollar Spy amid sexual assault allegations and the release of social media messages claiming he has dark fetishes including cannibalism -- Armie has already gotten to boot from the movie Shotgun Wedding and the series The Offer, and more trouble may be on the horizon: Armie was accused of sexual assault by a woman called Effie, who alleged the actor violently raped her and Armie's attorneys issued a statement denying the claims, saying Effie's own correspondence with Mr. Hammer undermines and refutes her outrageous allegations -- Armie has been keeping a low profile at a Caribbean resort, but fears his entire career is in trouble

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Carrie Underwood

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